6 comments/ 42484 views/ 30 favorites A Submissive's Journey Pt. 01 By: CockServant AUTHOR'S NOTE This is a story about a young man exploring his sexuality and finding out he is a gay submissive. It is rather long and not all about sex so if you are looking for a quickie you might want to look elsewhere. This is a fantasy. All characters are over the age of 18. Please enjoy. ------------------- I was a quiet boy ever since the beginning, small and overly sensitive in a hectic world. Other people were certainly not my specialty. At home more with a good book or just daydreaming in my room than clowning around with my buddies. What bothered me so much about it really wasn't that it was a problem for me, but that it seemingly was a problem for everyone else. Awkwardly trying to fit in, I would always miss a step. The witty thing on the tip of my tongue would, invariably, be silenced by an internal monologue about whether it was going to be cool enough, or if it would make me look stupid, and by the time it got out it was way past the right time for it and I would sound stupid. Needless to say I wasn't very good around girls. Other guys could just walk up to them and talk and laugh around, but it just didn't work that way for me. I was a scrawny kid anyways, shortest one in my class and paper-thin. Pile on my general shyness and I just didn't even bother. My sexual feelings usually just built up during the day and when I got home I would maybe look at a porno mag and play with myself or look up girls in the yearbook. I would pick a girl at random and pretend I was doing playing with their breasts or eating them out. It was always something like that I would be doing something to pleasure them, not like getting on top and riding them or anything. Usually what got me the most excited was when I would think about them taking my cock in their mouth and I would imagine their pretty faces looking up at me and I would cum all over and be ok for a while. This was the pattern for most of my years in school and I really thought that I was fine with it, but then I went off to college. Being from a small town the University overwhelmed the senses. There were hordes of people everywhere, making so much noise. The dorms themselves were just floor after floor of students piled up like a huge stack of donuts. The elevators were packed, the lines at the cafeteria were long, the classrooms held over a hundred kids. It was almost hard to imagine taking a test and not cheating. How in the hell could the professor see anyone anyways? I fell into a routine like a good little boy going to my classes and just generally trying to avoid everyone, but in such a mass of humanity I just simply was not allowed to be a recluse. My first roommate was the son of a criminal. Literally that was the first thing out of his mouth when I saw him. He wasn't threatening me or anything I guess it was just on his mind. I guess there was this racket where his father would get loads of copper misplaced or something and then sell them off. You could tell that Greg, that was my roomies name, was pretty proud of his dad and was likely to follow in his footsteps. I had asked him one time later that if he was going to be a criminal anyways, why bother with college and he just kind of shrugged. I can't tell you much more about him because he was never really around anyways. There would be no Greg for a few days at a time and then one night he would just pop in. So I pretty much had the place to myself, which suited me fine. The problem was my neighbors simply wouldn't leave me alone. They were always trying to get me out to parties that were going on around town and I rebuffed them over and over. One night near the end of the first semester, I caved and went with them. I simply have no backbone. The guys next door were pledging a fraternity. I had seen the flyers for rush the first week or so that I was on campus, but true to my nature I was too uncomfortable about going up to see what it was all about. My only real knowledge of fraternities was from watching Animal House and the truth really wasn't a whole lot different. Before that night I had drank a little here or there, but nothing like I learned to at this place. There was a line out front just to go into it. We had to pay a couple bucks to get into and then off to the beer line. Girls were everywhere bouncing around and making all kind of noise. Just past the bar was the rather small area that was the dance floor, packed with drunken sweaty, free spirits looking for love or just a little action. It was my first sip of beer in a long time and it tasted so good to me that I downed it quickly and headed back for a second and then a third. There was a little corner that I had camped out in that was relatively quiet. A peace had come over me with my buzz and I found myself watching people as I never had before. Where I would ordinarily be nervous and upset I was calm. This doesn't mean that I actually went out and socialized anymore right away, but I felt more comfortable than I could remember in a long time. After the third things got kind of hazy for me and I slipped into the fuzzy world of the blackout drunk. My tolerance was so low that it had only taken me those few to lose control. There was definitely a conversation with some girl and her friend and some time out on the dance floor even, but most of it was a blur. -- I slipped out of sleep, my head aching dully. I still felt sort of drunk and couldn't tell what time it was just that it was dark. The thought that I should look around me to catch my bearings occurred to me, but actually moving wasn't on the plate just yet. I lay there with my eyes shut, resting. The cushions seemed to swallow me up and smelled somewhat of stale beer, although that could have been me as well. There was just a general dullness about me. To be so lazy was so good and I contemplated dozing back off to sleep. Visions of the night before flashed from time to time in my head, but there was no rhyme or reason to them. It was more like someone showing you flash cards in a random order. After five, maybe fifteen, minutes passed I started to feel like I hadn't really partied enough that night since I couldn't remember it all that much anyways. I didn't know exactly where I was in the house, but I was pretty sure that I was still up there. More than likely I had passed out from taking it too fast and they put me here. Sitting upright disoriented me and I let my eyes get used to the darkness of the room. Rectangles of light painted the floor just past the open doorway. It was a broad opening that could have housed a large set of double doors. Another person lay sleeping on the couch across from me and I recognized a table where the night before we had left our coats. The bar was jus around the corner in the other room so I figured I would just go grab a quick one to kind of take the edge of the drumbeat in my head. I hadn't heard of hair of the dog really, but I was about to get my first taste of it. Past the large opening there was a hall to the left that led to the entrance. On the right was the general living area that had a pool table and a few couches. The lights were dim in this room and the television flickered, but there was no sound. Possibly some people were still up, but I didn't bother with that, heading straight ahead to get some more alcohol in me. The large curved wooden bar was more like one would find in the taverns down on the Strip with huge planks of wood. I helped myself to a cup and poured myself a cold one. The house was very still as I scanned it more carefully. It seemed so much bigger without the mass of people. The snow-covered bushes out the window sparkled under the night lamps. It was very peaceful. I walked past my little corner where I had hid the night before and onto the dance floor, which in turn opened into the living area on the other side. I slipped into the living area trying to stay as quiet as possible. Even though I felt as if I belonged to the house already, I was aware that I didn't really live there and was worried someone would notice and kick me out. I figured I could have a few more brews and then walk home in the morning and sleep the rest of the night off. The television was on some late night music video channel with the sound turned down. I can't remember the artist now but it was an attractive woman writhing around on the screen. Her motions seemed ever more magical under the spell of intoxication. So enthralled was I that I hadn't noticed anyone else in the room. The 2 couches against the wall may or may not have had people on them I couldn't really see, but sitting on the love seat at an angle to the screen, was a guy I had never seen before. He was obviously a student, was rather tall and I am sure had many other features, but the only thing that I could notice was that he was sitting there with his pants around his ankles. His hand was between his legs where he held his manhood. He stroked it slowly, taking a couple seconds up and then a couple seconds back down again. His cock seemed to glisten in the low light. I found myself wondering whether he used spit like I did which kind of snapped me back to reality. There I stood watching another man beat off. I hadn't even seen another guys dick, not really. I mean there were the times in the shower where you couldn't help but get a peek, and I had seen a few pornos of course, but this was very different. He was having sex with his hand, thinking about the girl wanting her. I felt somehow involved like I was rooting for him. It wasn't like I was getting into it all sexual, at least I didn't think so. Even though I did notice I was rock hard in my pants. It was more my first time experiencing real sex with another person, even if that person didn't know I was a part of the scene and might want to kick my ass if he knew. Thinking about me being hard made me look even closer at just his cock and nothing else. It was amazing really, quite a bit larger than mine (I had measured once and it was a little bit of a stretch to get to 5). It seemed to pulsate with vitality. If he told me too I probably would have grabbed it and stroked it for him. The thought ran through my head and I felt a tinge of shame, because was probably true. The feeling to just run and get out of there burst up in me. Run out before he sensed my presence or perhaps noticing something about myself, but I simply could not turn my eyes away. I had to see him finish. How could he even orgasm going that slow anyway? I usually stroked it so fast and got to the explosion in a couple minutes. Time was moving very slowly for me and with every stroke my nerves were fraying more and more. I just couldn't stay. He was going to notice me standing there watching him jerk off. Standing there with a hard on. All the people in my dorm would pick on me and it was just too much. I had to get out. I tiptoed over to the fire door on the dance floor, decided that was too close and went further down to where there was a kitchen door and let myself out as quietly as I could, and headed down the hill to my dorm room. The streets were deserted as I walked the 10 or so blocks to my place. Birds chirped signaling the coming of dawn, but I hardly noticed. All I could think about was the guy stroking his big sweet cock. I just thought sweet? When I closed my eyes I could see nothing but tall erect tool somehow even more defined in my mind than it had been in real life. It looked as if it were breathing when he stroked up to the tip and then pulled slowly down again like the muscles under a snakes skin. When he got to the base of his cock the mushroom head would be stretched to its limits parting the lips that formed the slit. It was so real to me and I was so worked up that I just had to get home and give myself release. I walked past the sleeping guard and went up the elevator that was empty for once. Greg was away again. I hoped at least. So I should have the place to myself. I was going to get out my old yearbook like before and pick one of my favorite girls and jack off thinking about her sucking my cock. There was a need to purge myself of this passion I was feeling. I was normally a pretty under control guy, levelheaded and practical. The raw feeling going through me was unnerving. The elevator doors opened into a thankfully empty hallway. I was just not sure I could handle other people right then. My room was right across the hall and I pushed inside as fast as I could, locking it behind me. Greg was gone! Thank God. I stripped off my clothes and grabbed my yearbook, opening to a page where there were a lot of cheerleader pics. I looked from one girl to another and picked an especially cute blonde girl. In my mind her lips slipped over my cock head, but it wasn't quite enough. I kept going back to the feeling I was having on the way home. I closed my eyes and once again I could see his long thin member, hand slowly caressing up and down. My cock returned to rock hard status. I looked back down at the yearbook and saw the girl again smiling at me. It seemed as if she were reading my mind, knowing that I was thinking about the man up the hill stroking his meat. Then came the thought that changed my life. As I stared at this very beautiful teenage girl that I had lusted after and came many times her voice chimed in my head clear as a bell, "Why don't you jack him off for me", and then a little laugh. Clearly this thought did the trick. The idea that she somehow knew, or that I should be the one stroking him or possibly just the newness of it all, whatever it was my nut came hard, shattering me to the bone. A shot of thick white semen splattered her smiling face wiping it out and I closed my eyes again seeing the man's healthy penis but this time I was looking down at it in my hand and he too was releasing. As quick as it all had come over me and like a wound spring the tension was released in those few instants and I sat there kneeling with a mess over my yearbook on the floor of my room. I cleaned up quickly and exhausted fell into bed crashing into a deep sleep. -- I awoke that evening to a pounding on my door. It was Chuck, one of the guys next door from the frat. Annoyed, I tried to roll over and enjoy the rest of my hangover but he was insistent. "Hey man get up," rap, rap, rap, "Dude you were so drunk. C'mon man we got some pizza get your ass up and come on over. Got some brews too." The pizza sounded ok and the beer even better, plus he didn't sound like he was going to go anywhere until I went over and let him embarrass me with news of my stupid activities of the night before. I was perfectly fine with that as long as he didn't know the real story. It all seemed rather distant almost like something I had watched on TV. After I came the needy feelings had quickly washed away from me and it all seemed rather silly. I just put it up to too much beer and maybe I really needed to man up and try to get laid here sometime before I went crazy. Sitting on the bottom bunk in front of the open pizza box was Dan, the other frat guy. "Wild man!" he said with a big smile, "Come on in." I sat down; grabbing a pizza and a beer as they regaled me with tales of how I was acting like a total idiot on the dance floor wasted out of my mind, but it was ok everyone thought it was funny. I was almost like a mascot for them now and they wanted me to come back up. "Yeah man," said Chuck, "You oughta come up and rush after break. We'll get you laid and shit too. You're holed up in your damned room too much. Gotta have some fun." They said a bunch of other stuff, but I didn't pay much attention and promised I would be go up and join in the spring but I had finals the next couple weeks and really had to study. I don't know why, but I just felt I needed to leave the room and be alone again so I excused myself and walked out. The hallway was crowded with idiots running back and forth as usual. Bollman was playing catch with someone down the hall that I couldn't make out. He was always talking about porn stars chicks and how he had this big collection of pictures and autographs. He had one of some real famous one sitting on his lap that was signed by here. I think it cost him fifty bucks it was crazy. I tried to duck him because I had borrowed a book from him a while back and I left it in the Union and hadn't been able to find it. He asked me about it every time I saw him. Like he ever picked up a book. What did he care anyways, but he always had to ask me Well, I was almost home free, just opening my door when I heard, "Hey Johnny!" Yeah, Johnny, That's me. "Hey Bollman how's it going with you. He didn't even have to ask I just closed my door and walked over to his room down the hall. Once he got a hold of you he just had to give you the latest rundown. Even if he had told a hundred people before you he never got tired. I went in his room and sat on the little couch they had in there. There was porn on the end table so I picked one up and started leafing through it. Man, Bollman was a pervert. He had some nice stuff. This was a while back. Before the Internet when most skin mags wouldn't even show penetration. There was always some guy with his dick pointing at a girl's mouth and she knelt there, eye fixed on the camera with a vacant stare. This was good though the girl was really sucking it and looking all guilty up at him. "Hey, that's a new one, you can borrow it a while if you like it." Bollman had kind of stormed in the room. He was always doing that. Anywhere he went he wet there quickly and made a lot of noise to make his presence felt. He started going on about some new chick he had met down at a strip club. I looked up at him. "Hey man, how did you get into all this anyways? I mean you got so much porn and you go out to these places. What started all that." I was kind of trying to keep his mind off the book I owed him, but I was kind of curious myself. The places I went in never had mags like this. Bollman said, "Oh yeah. There was a bookshop with all these videos and big ass dildos and all kind of weird shit just down the road from us when we were kids, and I figured out how to slip in through the one window in the basement. We would go in and check the stuff out in the mornings when it was closed up. I guess it just kind of stuck with me." I nodded, looking back at the girl who was now sitting on top like a cowgirl taking a ride. It was getting kind of strange for me, because it was getting me damn horny again and I didn't really want to be like that around Bollman. It just felt weird. "Yeah, they got a lot downtown," he continued, "Most of them got rooms in the back and stuff. Some like you put in some money and a curtain goes up and you see some chick dance naked. You can spank it and everything they don't care." A mental image of Bollman spanking it to an old fat lady in a little cubicle was not really what I needed either but he kept going. "They got some with other booths like where you can see just can see porn reels and stuff. You go in them though you usually end up having some fag try to suck your cock." "That's crazy." I said, getting up. I kind of had to use the old schoolboy trick and keep the magazine in front of my groin so it wouldn't be obvious. Bollman was nice and pretended not to notice. "Hey man I lost you book by the way. Sorry", I ducked out quickly. "Don't lose that one," he shouted after me, "have fun!" I slipped back in my room and bolted the door. It seemed kind of soon to jack off so soon after having that weird conversation with Bollman, but what the hell I was horny. I would cum quick and crash early to be ready for the week. I stripped down naked and knelt like I had the night before, but instead of the yearbook this time I had the porno. I flipped back past the pages I had seen before and landed on this rocker girl. Clad in leather and posed she glared at the camera as if she was the boss, but when I turned the page the next frame she was looking down and holding some man's very healthy meat. She was biting her lip with a more timid demeanor. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 01 This was just what I was looking for and I started stroking it harder. My eyes flicked over the next few pictures. She kissed him and he felt her up and she bent down to kiss his chest. I turned another leaf. There was a full-page picture of the girl, now down on one knee, her lips just covering the big hard purple helmet, tongue sticking out caressing the undercarriage. Her cheeks were sucked in and her eyes seemed to stare right through the camera at me with a glint of dirty glee. The next page on the top seemed to be the same except, yes, she was pointing at the camera now as well. I looked hurriedly down to the bottom pane. I was pounding my cock in a frenzy now. It wouldn't be long. The last image still sticks in my head anytime I want to pull it up. She had pulled the cock out and had pointed it at the camera as if in an offering. Her finger now was curled towards her as if she was beckoning me. The mind flashed, "Why don't you suck him off for me." And I came. It was amazing. The words reverberated through my head and I shot load after load, eyes drawn not to the attractive puck girl, but it the rock hard penis. I was the one that was on my knees. I knelt there panting for a few moments gathering myself and quickly cleaned up. Thankfully I hadn't got any on the magazine. The last thing I wanted to do is return it with the pages stuck together. I tried to forget exactly what had made me cum. I wasn't really into guys at all, or cock really. That was stupid. It was just something taboo or whatever and it did make me cum hard, so I guessed it was alright. -- The next couple weeks I fell back into my old routine. There was a lot of studying to do with finals so I stayed pretty much to myself. Everything was the same except one thing. I couldn't concentrate for any length of time before this really horny, dirty feeling would come over me. For a while I tried to just push it away and ignore it. My studies where in-depth so if I got into the material enough, I would get back on track, but before long I would hit a boring patch and my mind would wander. I took to studying in the library. The presence of all my fellow students helped keep me on track and then no. I found that after a while it was more productive to just give into it. The first time I got really heated to the point I just couldn't take it any longer was during a long study session at the library. I had taken to sitting back by the stacks away from the distraction of the windows. The scenes of nature passing by would spark my mental lapses so I figured if I hid back here nothing would bother me and I could finish up. One thing that my mind kept going back to on the first night was that I really had no idea who the guy who sat on the couch pleasuring himself was. I only really remembered that he was tall and didn't have any really distinguishing characteristics other than his nice, big dick of course. I had kind of given up on trying to control my thoughts in that regard. At first I was shutting down my brain every time I thought something positive about the cock, but it was impossible to deny how I started to stiffen when I reflected for even a second on it. It was that day, however, that I realized. I was LOOKING for him. Not consciously. I knew I would never really recognize him, but every time a tall guy would walk by the hairs on my neck would stand up or I would lick my lips or feel the need to shift myself in my jeans. That day, a guy walked by and my mind just went, "That's him." There is almost no chance that it was him but I had such a strong reaction that was just the culmination of all of the suppressed urges of the days past. I got rock hard. I grabbed my cock through my jeans and started to stroke it, looking desperately around to see if I was about to be found out, but no one was looking. It took me less than a minute to cum and it was so strong that I moaned out loud. Kind of an "oh" that I hoped sounded like a realization more than me releasing my seed down my pant leg. I slipped my hand off quickly and sat very still, trying hard not to let my emotion show on my face. Even without touching it any longer, my vein kept pumping and I could feel a huge wet spot gathering halfway down my thigh. I reached down and just brushed my fingers over the head, nearly gasping aloud again it was so sensitive. My fingers were wet with my juice and I had a sudden urge to take a little taste. Something I had never done before. Had never wanted to do. Usually after I came I thought the whole ordeal was pretty gross and I just wanted to clean it up and get on with my life, but I was still horny, probably because I was sitting in a crowded library with cream in my jeans. I decided then that if I was getting horny to just go jack off in the bathroom or back at my place and that would let me get back to concentrating, but it seemed like it was always back on my mind. I had thought of sex in the past, of course, but now I seemed ravenous. I was afraid that I was turning into a pervert. My new schedule had me playing with my self literally morning, noon and night. Those were the three times something seemed to come up. The daytime ones were actually more like maintenance for me but in the evening I would lay on my bed and just let my mind wander in the dark. I had taken to thinking of a certain couple of the girls from school that had seemed a little bossier. At first, I would be stroking thinking about how pretty their face and hair was or how nice they looked in a skirt but by the end they were always 'making me' jerk some guy off or kiss his cock and that would send me over the edge. This particular evening my mind went to the conversation I had had with Bollman about the stores and how there was all kind of dirty mags and the booths you could jerk off to some lady. I had never even seen a place like that outside of the movies, but was aware of where to go in town. It was an easy bus ticket there and back. The idea once it got in there tossed around like a grain of sand, making it pretty much a foregone conclusion that I was going to head down and check one out. -- It was an overcast, dreary day, the day I picked to head to the dirty shop. Beside me on the bus bench was an old lady with plastic wrapped over her hair and a younger black dude bebopping to some tunes over his headphones. I kept getting the feeling that I could just quit now. Go back to my dorm and forget the whole stupid idea. I think in fact that I was about to do just that when the bus with the big white letters DOWNTOWN came around the corner. Even at the moment I almost left, but I didn't want them two people to feel I was strange for waiting all that time and not getting on the bus. When the doors closed behind me it was like a sentence. There was no turning back. The ride wasn't terribly long, but it was a bunch of city people that made me uncomfortable. I was used to quiet. I was used to people that were just fine with you looking them in the eyes. I didn't know really how to act. Also, I couldn't shake this odd feeling that everyone who saw me knew that I was going downtown just so I could check out some sleazy bookstore. The thought gave me a little feeling of shame, but it was titillating as well. I was just going to go in, mind my own business, check what the lady looked like and maybe buy myself one of those hardcore glossies. Then I was out of there and back on the bus. Back home with a little adventure no one needed to know about under my belt. I could tell when I was in the right district. It wasn't nighttime, but with all the gray skies you could still see the neon lights glowing at the different shops. I got off at the stop and perhaps now some of my co-occupants pieced together what his college boy was doing down here. But oh well, let them think, it kind of turned me on anyways. Not that I looked any of them in the eyes. The first shop I saw was the one I picked. It didn't even seem to have a name just glowing lights XXX and ADULT. I pulled on the heavy white door with the dingy gray curtain and entered. There is a smell about these sorts of places that I can't really place. Well, maybe I can guess, but at that point I really didn't want to think about it. I kind of hung in the doorway for a minute afraid to actually move in, but then I looked up at the guy behind the desk and the scowl on his face told me to "move it buddy." The first racks were your more tame variety that you might find at the local newsstand with brown paper wrapped around the parts too salacious for young boys and older women to look at. Following those were the more hardcore ones that I supposed I would be getting. Oh wait; I would have to get back on the bus with a pretty obvious brown bag. Forget it. I would cross that bridge later. The next part was they toys and they were kind of frightening to tell you the truth. I looked at awe at some of the sizes of the dildos and inspected some of the stranger fare that was available. Always being careful not too lingers too long on any one item, lest the other patrons perceive some heightened interest in that particular item. I was trying to play sightseer not customer. A little porn was fine, but I wasn't going to get beads. Eww. I had almost made the circuit of the relatively small shop when I got to the doorway to the back section. Again I kind of poked my nose in and then moved on past in a hurry to a rack of videos. Now I had happened to go around this particular establishment in a clockwise direction, meeting one after the other the particular goods for sale as I described them. Had I instead gone counter-clockwise I would have first off, passed the clerk, which was the main reason I didn't go that way, then gone past all of the popular video titles, followed by some lamer ones, then weird ones and ended up on this side of the doorway. So when I got to the rack, instead of the expected big boob girl sucking voraciously on a big dong I saw and younger man, a boy almost hairless and kneeling looking up at a heavily muscled man. The boy had a simply shameful look on his face; he looked to be blushing, and a big dong in his mouth. I had never seen anything like that before. Everything that was available to me was straight for the good reason that no one would have anything like this laying around or people would think that they were into it. Now in keeping with my policy of not lingering on anything that might incriminate me I should have quickly dodged this section and moved to the more socially acceptable to me at least ladies with a dong in their mouth section, but I simply could not move. He was young and small and thin like me so I related to him immediately. The tough guy above him had his cock in my mouth. I became acutely aware that I was staring at the video and had even picked it up to look more closely at it. I also knew that by now I was making a serious tent in my pants. There was a need to get out of sight and quickly. The only place left to go for me at that point was into the back area. I kept my head down and walked down the row of booths to the left. The first few had doors on them with red light bulbs on top. The lights were on so I supposed that meant they were occupied. The next couple booths were open and I could see a screen inside, so I figured that those were movies booths like Bollman had described. All of the sudden I got this really creepy feeling that Bollman was there and would see me and that I just had to head out of there now so I turned quickly back to the doorway, almost knocking over a man that was coming down the hall towards me. I couldn't make him out in the dark really, but it was obvious he was rather big and had a sort of blue-collar look to him like he worked construction of something. I had bumped into him touching his chest with my palm when I turned. Pulling my arm quickly away, I backed up against the sidewall of the corridor. There was barely enough room for two people to pass. He stopped surveyed me up and down for a second, gave me a little knowing smirk and walked of down the hall entering the next booth down. The shock of meeting someone so suddenly after being kind of alone in my little world jarred me somewhat to reality. I wanted to see if there was one of those booths with the girl I told myself. It would be stupid to leave now, plus the next bus wouldn't be back around for nearly an hour anyways I straightened myself up, took a deep breath and walked down toward the end of the hall. There we're only three booths left. The one the man had walked in still didn't have the door shut yet, which I wondered about, but the two after his booth looked to be a little bit bigger and I wanted to check them out so I stepped off down the hall past his booth. These last booths didn't seem to be girl booths either. They were larger and in addition to having a screen they had a little bench that you could sit on. There was always the other side and if nothing down that way I would probably just jump in a booth and check out a video. Turning to go back, I noticed that the light was on over the booth the blue-collar man had entered, but as I got close to where you would enter, it was apparent that the door wasn't actually shut. Curiosity it seems got the best of me at that moment. I think I told myself that maybe I would catch a peek of what was on the screen. As it turned out the screen was the last thing that caught my eye. The movie was on giving off a faint light, but the man was standing in front of the screen thus blocking most of the direct illumination. He was standing with his pants around his ankles, facing not towards the moaning girl on the film, but facing the hallway and therefore, me. His hand was on his cock, which was semi hard and he was slowly stroking it. We just stood there like that for a few seconds, me staring at his crotch and then slowly raising my head our eyes met. I instinctively bit my lip. It was easy to see it was clear to him that he was the superior specimen of man, and that he could take what he wanted. So he did. While I paused a second the man simply reached out with his right hand grabbed my shirt and pulled me towards him into the booth. I started to protest but, before I could get very far he put his left hand on top of my head and pushed down. Now I could easily have resisted if I wanted to, but the wasn't time for it to even register. One second it seems I was standing in the hallway the next I was squatting down in front of the man with his cock bobbing up and down just six inches from my face. Then he spoke in a soft stern voice. "Kneel." It was a request, but at the same time it wasn't, but the force of his words acted as if the synapses of my brain had fired on their own. First my one knee and then the other touched the ground. I knew at that moment that any chance of me becoming a real man had passed as he moved his right hand to my head as well and pulled my lips ever slowly to his cock. "You do this before boy?" The same soft-stern voice commanded my answer. "No." my voice was weak and of a higher timber than I ever remember it being before. The voice came back again. "No teeth." It was only seconds until my first taste of man, but I had so many thoughts flash through my mind. The man jerking to the television, the girl sucking a cock with a devilish knowing look in her eye, even Bollman saying "have fun." The boy on his knees was me The smell of his manhood was so strong now that I was so close. I looked down cross-eyed at the tip of his penis as he pulled forward and my lips touched for the first time the sweet meat of man. They parted naturally as if his cock was docking at a station made just for that purpose. He slipped the dick in my mouth, the fleshy head, and then it got hard. He just kept pushing forward feeding me little bit by bit. I as very conscious of his warning of no teeth and was being very careful just holding my head still and taking his penetration. Suddenly, I realized I didn't have enough mouth for him as I could feel it pushing halfway down my tongue and I could still clearly see a few more inches of shaft. He didn't stop though and kept slowly pressing deeper into my cavity As the head reached the back and started to pass into my throat, a sense of panic washed over me and I raised my hands to his thighs with the intention of pushing back. He seemed to have anticipated this and quickly said. "Hands at your sides." I obeyed, still fearful of what was to come, but he was almost gentle in his approach. He pushed it back into my throat and I involuntarily gagged. My hands came up for a second, but I stopped them and flapping them in a kind of sissified way placed them back at my sides. His soft steady firmness made me want to behave for him and take his cock the way he wanted it. I kept gagging form time to time but his cock in my throat prevented anything from coming up. Before long my nose was buried in his jet-black pubes. "You see, boy, every little fag like you can deep throat, you just need discipline." My mind rebelled a little at being called a faggot, but then I was here on my knees with a man's cock buried hilt deep in my throat. "When a man asks you if you can deep throat, you can say, Yes. Now say it boy." I hesitated a second and then understanding tried to say yes but only an odd mumble came out. He pushed back on my head releasing his beast from my throat, pulling it the whole way out then moved his hands from my head, resting them on his hips. The cock bobbed in front of me as if nodding in approval, soaking wet with saliva. One long drip hung off the tip in a string about 4 inches long. He waited. Willing to have taken the first step, but now it was clear that it was my choice completely. If I stayed there on my knees and took his dick in my mouth of my own accord and sucked him with my energy I was accepting my role as cocksucker. The wait wasn't that long. Even though the penetration of my throat had been stressful, already it felt as though something were missing. It seemed right, like I was made for this. My small stature, the way I was mesmerized by the man's penis while he jacked off, the simple fact that this man above me had pegged me instantly as someone who would willingly just kneel with the slightest of encouragement. All of these things plus the peculiar taste that was in my mouth that I couldn't quite place, mildly salty, slippery and viscous all at once. I felt it on my tongue and moved it to my lips and blew a little bubble. Then leaning my head forward took on the fate of one who kneels and services the stronger members of his kind. The cockhead intrigued me it was so soft and supple. The slightest touch here or flick of a tongue there, or quick suck with my lips made the whole of the shaft jump with excitement. I made kind of a cup with my lips and made soft little sucks in rhythm on the tip and then I dove deeper taking half his length at once and then back again. The sensation of fullness in my mouth just seemed right to me and I got another little taste. I wasn't quite sure if he was cumming yet actually. It didn't take me that long sometimes and maybe he was worked up doing it here in public with the... Oh my, the door was still open. He waited, letting me decide for myself, knowing what the foregone conclusion was to be. I turned back around and this time I started sucking in earnest. Taking him about half down until he felt like he was almost in my throat and then pulling back to where just his cock head was in my mouth. I didn't seem to need training, but I wasn't sure if I was doing a good job. I kept a rhythm watching the pubic hair move back and forth towards my nose. The shaft, which previously had seemed pretty solid, now became incredibly hard. The ridges along the sides worked my lips like little road bumps. I could feel his cock literally jerking up and down in my mouth. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 01 He had to be close now, how could he not be. The excitement of giving my first blowjob, when I didn't even really know I liked that sort of thing and the prospect of possibly being caught in the act, drove me onward with a lusty passion. The thought of a guy maybe seeing me and wanting some head himself occurred to me. I couldn't suck two different guys the first day! There was no more taking it I started leaking in my own pants now. I had to go for broke with one last thrust I shoved his cock as far down my throat as I could take it. It wasn't the whole way and I gagged and my eyes felt as if they would pop out, but it did the trick and after I pulled back he started shooting in my mouth. I can't explain it. Some people say they don't like cum or they had to get used to it. I loved it from that very second. It was as if my tongue had a separate taste bud for cum and I was crazy for it right then. Add to that the pure power of jet after jet of hot cum filling my mouth up. I didn't count but it was maybe 7 or 9 or something shots. It was so good. He held his cock in my mouth for a few seconds and I enjoyed it as well, then he pulled out, drew up his pants, zipped and buckled up and then walked past my kneeling form. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 02 AUTHOR'S NOTE This is a story about a young man exploring his sexuality and finding out he is a gay submissive. It is rather long and not all about sex so if you are looking for a quickie you might want to look elsewhere. This is a fantasy. All characters are over the age of 18. Please enjoy. ***** I stayed there for a minute in a kind of shock. Seconds ago the only things that were registering in my tunnel vision trance were the man above me and the hardness filling my mouth. Now my senses started to come back. My lips, still slightly parted as if expecting more man meat, felt faintly numb. The video monitor flickered its faint light. The speaker next to it produced loud rhythmic moans. Looking up, I saw a blonde, curly-haired, heavy-chested woman, bouncing up and down on a man in feigned ecstasy. It brought me out of my reverie. I listened for other sounds, and down the hall I heard a couple of other porn reels playing. I wasn't alone there, must be more people. Suddenly, a wave of shame washed over me, and the reality of what I had just done hit me hard. Conscious thought left me. I quickly jumped up, gathered myself and proceeded to flee the building. Lost were thoughts of why I came in the first place; to find a lady and masturbate to her or even to pleasure myself to the video on the screen in front of me. I tucked my penis up high so it wouldn't show in its hard state, pulling my shirt down over the front and tried to walk as nonchalantly as I could to the exit. There was no one in the hallway and only some guy looking at the mags along with the clerk out front. I kept my head down and eased my way out as naturally as I could. It felt like there was a wave of energy pushing me out of that building. Soon it deposited me outside. I looked at my watch and realized that there still was about twenty minutes before the next bus came. While I was uncomfortable in the bookstore from what had just happened there, I was almost more self-conscious out here at the bus stop. It seemed to me that every person that passed me by had intricate and detailed knowledge of my actions in that booth. The feeling I got was a mixture of disgust and a sort of warmth brought on by the taboo and the risk of it all. Time passed slowly, too much so for me, and as much as I wanted to simply just keep my head down and have the bus come and take me home to where I was safe. My thoughts returned to being back in that booth and the man standing there holding his cock in his hands and my groin stirred again. This made me uncomfortable. I tried desperately to think of some of the girls in my class that were attractive and to my pleasure I found that I still responded favorably to them. I almost wanted to go back into that booth and put on a reel and jack off, but there was still this nagging part of me that was scared if I went back in there I would revert back into that. What I had done. The bus came and everyone ignored me to a suitable fashion. The further away I got from the downtown area, the better I felt and more like my old self. That was just a passing thing and I had experimented. No one knew any different so I could put it out of my mind and just carry on. I was really going to have to start manning up though and hitting on girls. Maybe I should try the fraternity after all. They said something about getting me laid, didn't they? By the time I walked into my dorm I was sure that everything was back to normal. I was still horny as hell though, since I hadn't actually gotten off myself back at the rundown shop, so I pulled out the yearbook and opened it to the hottest chick I knew and started stroking it. Over in over in my mind I was thinking about how hot she was, not allowing my mind to wander freely. I was afraid I would slip into that fantasy of the girl wanting me to do something to a guy for her. In my mind I was on top of her and banging her pussy intensely and she was going crazy for it. Shortly, I came and fell back on the bed, spent and relieved. I had made it. Every thing was going to be just fine. - Finals finished up quickly and I went home for the Christmas break. Being in the comforting, familiar surroundings of the family home brought back a feeling of normalcy for me. I spent a lot of time in my room reading or just watching TV or playing video games with my younger brother. It was a little odd though. Even though I was in my same room as I had been since childhood, and everyone welcomed me and treated me the same, there was a feeling in my heart that I was somehow a visitor; that my moving onto college had changed things. I guess it was just growing up. There wasn't a whole lot of conversation with my parents themselves, which was not in the least unusual. They loved me in their way, but they were a bit distant. Most of anything that was said was done over the table at dinner. Father went on and on about his finances and how they couldn't just keep sending me money and just generally guilting me to death for even existing. To get him to shut up, I told him that I would go out and look for a job first thing when I got back. I needed one anyway to get more independent so I wouldn't have to listen to him if nothing else. Before long the few weeks of break were over and I returned to campus. My mother had slipped me a few bills without Dad knowing so I was going to be ok for a while, but I knew that I had to follow up on my promise to find a job soon or it would get brushed under the table if I procrastinated. Restaurants, work study, little shops down on the strip., you name it I just walked door to door and put in applications. I wasn't really that particular at the moment and I figured if a job sucked I could just quit and get another one. It wasn't like I really had a need for one. In a couple days I received a call from a local grocery store that needed a night stocker. It wasn't ideal from a time standpoint, but I figured what the heck it was only a few nights a week and I was a night owl anyways. Plus, the job sounded stupid easy. We worked in a shift of like five guys just facing stuff up on the shelves and putting out the occasional box of stuff that needed replacing. It seemed more like a job for two or three people actually working with any speed, but I didn't complain and even slowed down when my co-workers told me I was finishing up too fast. My boss was this kind of middle-aged guy named Tom. I think he was probably only like forty tops, there wasn't any gray hairs or anything, but when your going to college damn near everyone else looks like a grandpa to you. He had kind of a ruddy face like he drank too much and a slight beer belly to match, but what do you expect from a guy that babysits kids stocking shelves all night. Most of the time he just sat back in his office doing god knows what. There were these little cameras all over the roof and you could just imagine him watching you working so you never really slacked off the whole way, but you didn't really try all that hard either. I had really intended on going up to the fraternity and getting involved up there. When I got horny I thought about it more, because I simply wasn't any good at meeting girls on my own. The problem was I didn't really have time to pledge frat with the job now and I told the guys that maybe I would do it next year. With the work being at night and all I had to change my sleeping up. Before I had a pretty normal schedule for a college kid. Stay up at night till past midnight and then crash and get up late, rush around for classes and so on. Now, however, I had to change it to accommodate the late night hours. What seemed to work best in the long run is I would sleep in the evenings getting up for work all night and then go to classes in the day after that crashing in the afternoon & evening until it was time for work again. Its crazy how much a little thing like a sleeping schedule can affect your whole life. Now, when I went to class in the morning I had already been up for half a day and was wide awake while the other students were still shaking of the cobwebs. In the evening I would be sleeping while every one was out socializing and partying. Already a pretty reclusive person, this even pushed me further away into my own world. My nights with no work were very quiet for my studies and the weekends when I didn't have class I still had the whole day ahead of me after work to figure out what to do. It probably isn't a big surprise that I would end up doing stuff with people that were on the same timeframe that I was, so when my boss asked me if I wanted to head to a bar after work the one day it seemed natural to go with him. He was pretty much a local in town and they had their own bars. You didn't go to the loud party bar with Tom; you went to a quieter more rundown place like The Stands. I'm not sure why they called it that, but it was just your typical bar with a row of stools and a line of guys watching TV and shooting the bull. Being that we went in there in the early morning it wasn't shocking to find a disinterested bartender reading the paper and a few really heavy alkies either catching the next hair or finishing off the night before. Another good reason to go with Tom was the fact that wherever I went with him no one even thought of carding me. There was no way that I could walk into any drinking establishment on my own and get served with how small I was. Most people seemed to think that I was his son or something. He wasn't terribly good company, but everyone is a little funner to hang out with a buzz on and I was starting to really like getting tight. There were even times I would have Tom grab me a couple sixes & I would sneak them into the dorm for my late night study sessions. Then one morning, it was a Saturday and I wouldn't have school or anything that day, it turned out that Tom & I were both going to be off that night. It never really occurred to me until much later that he was the one who made he schedule so it could have all been a plan, but I was pretty naïve for sure back then. He suggested that since we were both gonna be loose for the night we should go hit up this titty bar just down the road. "Yeah man you gotta see them. They just leave it all hanging out and they even flash you their pussy if when you tip them.," he said. I perked right up at that. Since I knew I was going to have a bit of free time here I was already planning on getting good and drunk and seeing what I could get into, and I had never been to any place like that before. "Are you sure that you can get me in there?" I asked worried. I mean sure he knew the guys at this dive, but at somewhere like that I might stick out more like a sore thumb. Tom was real reassuring and told me to meet him around dark over at his place which was just down the road and then we would head on out and party it up with some naked chicks. So we split and I went back to my place intending to crash out and be ready for that evening. I was pretty sure at this point Greg had quit college so I was alone as usual. Nobody even bothered to go to my room anymore since I was rarely there or awake if I was. My thoughts turned to the evening to come. I had seen lots of pictures of naked girls, but never actually a real one. I had been masturbating on occasion since the episode at the bookstore and I had been successful in keeping my thoughts on the girl in the picture. Tom had said something to me at the bar that was sticking in my head. It wasn't about the dancer it was about this prostitute that he used to go see. He said they were pretty easy to get and I started wondering about doing that. I had some decent cash on hand now since I was working almost full-time. He said that when he went to go see one he wanted to get his money's worth so he would jack off beforehand and that way she would take longer. I started thinking about the whole thing, running it through my mind. Maybe he could tell me where to go to find one of those girls. It would be better than going to those booths and seeing the girls. I could get a chance to touch them and they would touch me. The whole idea got me excited and before long I was sitting back on my bed stroking off, thinking of naked dancers and hookers, dirty girls that would do whatever I wanted them to. I imagined calling them my little slut and them smiling and going to work and how they would really have to go at it because I was going to make sure I came maybe even twice before I went to see them. Pretty soon, in the real world, I shot an enormous load all over my belly. My body spasmed and I had ten seconds of pure joy. Normally I would go quickly and wipe it up, but I was so relaxed after from my cumming so hard and the booze that I just lay back to rest my eyes and fell off to sleep. - I awoke in late afternoon. A gentle breeze came through my window and a pair of birds chirped back and forth out on the tree. I still lay there naked, my clothes deposited at the side of the bed and my belly still flecked with now dried up juice. Slowly I pulled myself up into a seated position back against the wall. Feeling the cool painted surface against my back. I was in a more sober state of mind at that point than I had been in over a day and the thoughts of the night to come flowed through my mind with this filter. It occurred to me that I didn't really know Tom all that well, aside from the after work brews. That it seemed a little odd that he had singled me out of the group of workers to hang out with. In the past I had brushed it off to the fact that I was one of the better workers there and I gave him the common courtesy of laughing at his stupid jokes. Now I wasn't so sure. Something just didn't fell right. Like I had misplaced something but wasn't quite sure exactly what. Regardless of whatever I was thinking. I was definitely going to go that night. There might not be another chance to go see a bunch of naked breasts and, who knows, maybe hook up with some naughty girl and finally get lucky for real. I got showered and dressed up and head over to the apartment listed on the address. Tom lived in what looked to be a rather old big house that had been split up into several separate rooms. I pushed the button next to his name and he escorted me straight down the hall and down a little set of steps to his pad. His accommodations were meager but sufficient. A rather large soft couch & matching love seat with a large screen TV were the only luxuries evident. He had a ratty old coffee table with stains and rings all over it and ashtray that looked to be perennially full. The kitchen was basically part of the same large room just off to the other side with not even a small table for a dining area. I supposed that this was probably not all that bad of a place for a low level manager at a grocery store in the city. As soon as I entered he offered me a shot of Jack Daniel and a beer. Now I had been drinking beer for a couple months, but harder liquors were rather new to me. I had tried them before, but they got me drunk too fast and I really didn't like the burn going down. I accepted the drinks of course. It was very hard for me to say no to someone like that when they seemed all excited over giving me a drink I really didn't want. I felt bad for them if I turned it down so we went. One, two three ... and downed the shots. Man it burned every bit as much as I remember and he chortled at my reaction. I must have turned beet red, but I kept it down which is all that mattered to me. The warm red haze of a whiskey buzz rolled over me quickly and I was suddenly in party mode. We downed the first beers and then another couple, each time grabbing a shot right before. By the time we left I was more worried that they might not let me in because I was too trashed than for me looking too young, but we carried on of course. The whole walk over to the joint Tom kept teasing me about it. I had made the mistake of being honest and saying that I had never seen a strip club before. I really hope that he would keep a low profile and just leave it alone so we wouldn't get kicked out or anything but he had finished just as many drinks as I did and who knew how many before that. We got to the place finally. The name of it was Beaver; classy for sure. There was actually very little problem getting in and I really doubt they would have said anything if I was alone. The lights were low and a slow, rhythmic bass beat set the undertone for the place, kind of bluesy and deep. Booths of red polyester circled the one and only stage with little stools dotting the edge. Our waitress quickly showed up - really cute - and brought us a drink. Tom had told me to just nurse the hell out of it and not buy much since cuz they cost a mint. There were a few guys, mostly older, by themselves and a couple tables filed with students that probably had no more right being there than I did. The stage was empty for the time being. I looked around not really knowing what to say. Luckily for me, Tom was one of those guys that never seemed to shut up. He would go right on talking to you even if you just totally ignored him. He was asking some guy with tattoos all over about some girl named Lisa, who evidently had the biggest knockers in town, and then he started chatting up the couple guys in the booth next to us. They already had a girl in there with them so they were kind of annoyed being busy and all, but that didn't stop him. I was a little curious about how it worked with the girl myself so when he turned back to me I asked him. He told me some of the dancers would come out and sit with you and do table dances and stuff for cash. Kind of your own personal thing but cost a lot more. "Don't be a sucker kid," he said, just drink slow sit there and watch on the cheap. "Collect what you can for when you leave." I pondered what collect meant for a minute and was about to ask when a voice started over the loudspeakers. "Gentleman. Welcome to the Beaver. Up next is Cassie, topless and nearly naked." He drug out the word topless like he was some kind of boxing announcer. Then the some kind of smutty pop tune started up, and out came Cassie, a pretty girl, but the waitress was way better. She wore a sequined bra and matching g-string and gyrated on the stage banding over and sidling up to the guys on the stools trying to get a bill out of them. Before long she slipped out of her top and I could see real breasts for the first time in my life. It was pretty special I will say. I got hard in my pants and was embarrassed when she looked over my way with a smile. Tom didn't need to tell her that it was my first time in a place like this. She seemed to know. I was entranced with the whole thing so when Tom grabbed me by the shoulder it gave me a start. "Hey, go on up there boy, and stick a dollar in his panties. She might show you some muff." So I did. When I rose to my feet, I was unsteady from the booze and my general nervousness. I felt like a fawn taking its first steps after leaving the mother. The stage was only a few paces away but it seemed miles. I went and stood at the edge between a couple of empty stools. Conscious that I had rod was pretty much solid in my pants. I knew in my mind that it was a perfectly normal thing for a man to be aroused in this situation, but I wasn't ready to actually accept that I was here. Cassie worked her way over to me ad noticing the bill in my hand did some extra special moves turning her ass towards me and bending over to look between them she made as if to play with her pussy and then turned back toward me and pushed her crotch right up below my face and pulled out the front of her panty. True to Tom's words. I could see right down into her bush and could make out the bumps that would be her lips forming the camel toe. I put the money in the side of the g-string like I had seen other guys doing and leaned back looking up at here blushing heavily. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 02 What was the worst for me was that as I went back to my seat after there was this short burst of applause like everyone in the room knew I was a rookie. I polished off the rest of my drink as I seated which was probably a mistake because right there the rest of the night out gets pretty cloudy for me. I know that we stayed for more dancers, but not really how many. There were a couple more rounds of drinks and then we were back at Tom's place. My memories are kind of like little flashes for a bit. I did have another shot or two once we got back. I also remember kind of coming too from being passed out and lying on a bed in some strange pair of like gym shorts, but no one else was in the room. I also remember being in the bathroom puking. Then I go black for a while. When I came to it was almost to a sudden clarity. Sure it still felt like I had a buzz on, but it was more like after you have a few than being totally blasted and throwing up all over. My first sensation was a slightly familiar one. I had a cock in my mouth. Below me was a white fleshy belly button moving closer then further from my eyes. It felt almost like a dream to the point that I had to stop and look around a bit. Up toward Tom's smiling now questioning face and then down at my own naked cock. He seemed to think that me looking down like that meant that I wanted to have some attention of my own, because he reached down and started fondling my dick as well. I just really didn't know what to think I was confused so I did what seemed natural at the time and went back to bobbing my head up and down on his shaft. My mouth was all juiced up already from having been sucking him for however long it was. He as a bit smaller than the other guy had been really not much larger than mine was so it was pretty easy for my to go almost the whole way down and then back up again. The tip was quite unique though, seeming almost to be a separate entity added on top of the shaft. A much larger mushroom head was all softness where the length was firm. I felt the friction of the pole on my lips while the helmet caressed my tongue back and forth. I pulled back and started to concentrate on just that bulbous head licking it while making little sucks of it with my pursed lips. He moaned as if in pure heaven in reaction, which only made me do it more, but I went too far and it was too sensitive for him so he pulled me off a minute. My eyes moved up his chest and shyly to his, which were full of glee above the big beaming smile on his face, then went back down to the cock below me. I then realized fully what exactly I was doing here. I was sucking on my bosses' cock. There was no taking it back. No matter how I tried to blow it off you just couldn't when a guy has had his dick in your mouth. This was different than the stranger in the bookstore booth. That guy I would never see again. With him my secret could still be a secret. But Tom? I would see him everyday. Every smile might be him thinking of me down there with his cock in my mouth. A wave of shame washed over me much like when I had been left kneeling in the booth, but this time I was still in the act. At the same time Tom took the hand, which had been on the top of my head and pushed my mouth back onto his waiting cock. My first instinct was to resist and I did for a bit, but it only took a bit of pressure and my muscles relaxed, giving in to the oral penetration. To him I was just continuing my previous actions. He could not possibly know that it was different for me now. His thrusts invaded my mouth; a hot, hard foreign pecker taking my manhood with every thrust. Not that I stopped him. My own cock betrayed me, flailing about like a reed in the wind with our motions. He started to leak some precum now making my mouth even more slippery. He didn't work me deep just fucked my face with the first couple inches. Short piston blows finished him off and he was unloading into my mouth. I don't think that he had beat off before using me that night, because he cam a lot. More than I ever had. Each spurt I felt on my tongue and then seeping through my mouth. Some slipped down my throat, but most of it gathered and soon I was filled up with his salty white juice, holding the soft mushroom head in me while the hardness receded. With a pop I sucked and removed him. Pulling my head back, I swallowed. Licked my lips. Took my finger and wiped the lower lip where some moisture remained. I looked back up at him and with a most guilty stare stuck the finger in my mouth and sucked the sweet slimy taste of him clean off. I had to leave now. My clothes were found in a panic and I barely remember leaving. Running to my place and slamming the door behind me, I flung myself on my bed, rolled to my back and crashed into a deep sleep after having one thought. "I work tomorrow night." - So jarring was the crush of the slamming door that I sat straight up in bed, instantly awake. I turned to the source of the disturbance. "Fuck!" yelled my roommate. "Sons of bitches are throwing me out." I didn't have any idea how that could possibly be a surprise since it was practically the first time I had seen him in the month since break, but wisely I kept my mouth shut. My head was killing me anyways. Greg ran about the room ransacking it as if he were a burglar, and, gathering up a pile of belongings into a couple suitcases left as quickly and suddenly as he had entered. I fell back into my pillows and contemplated a few more hours of sleep. The sandman would not come, however, before I was recalled to the events of the night before. There was a dreamy quality about the whole thing. For a moment I thought, hoped, prayed in vain that it was in fact just a dream. As real as the hangover I was now suffering was the fact that I had fellated my Boss in a drunken stupor the night before and that I was going to have to see him this very evening. It simply didn't seem possible that I was going to be able to pull that off. Maybe I could just tell him that it was all a mistake and to please just leave me alone about it and maybe not talk anymore, because the job was ridiculously easy and I was getting used to the money from it. Maybe he was so drunk that he woke up feeling guilty and would just try to brush the whole thing under he rug as well. Oh if things could just have been like they were the day before. A flash of anger came over me thinking that he had taken advantage somehow and made me suck him off, but I quickly dismissed that, since how would he know I did that anyways. Hadn't he taken me to a strip club for straight guys? I mean I was a straight guy. Wasn't I? Maybe that was the whole thing that I couldn't take. My own sense of identity, my being, who I was. I paced the room in kind of a funk for a few minutes just trying to get a handle on things and realized that I was still in my semi dress clothes from the night before. If I was going back to sleep I was going to want to get into the sweats that I slept in normally. I stripped down to my naked form and looked at myself in the mirror. There was going to be no comparisons to any sort of athletic beefy guy looking in that mirror. I knew it was pretty much my lot to be this almost rail thin, kind of geeky guy. I was smaller in stature, but also what swung between my legs. The whole picture made me not feel very manly at all. In fact., it could be said that I was almost feminine. Was that why the guy in the bookstore just assumed that I would kneel for him? Is that why my boss had taken me out probably just to get some sex from me? Maybe that was why the girls didn't seem to flock to me as they did to some other guys. Perhaps they saw something in me that was destined for this life of pleasing men instead. It was hard to throw the idea and what's more even though it brought up feelings of embarrassment, it also felt kind of right. Wouldn't someone that was more of a man have acted differently with the dancer the other night? Shouldn't I have hit on her or called her sexy or something? I didn't even do anything, just passively gave her the bill, took a peep and went back to my seat. All of the time I was having this introspection I was looking myself over in the mirror and something did not look quite in place. My knees seemed to have some sort of marks on them. I bent down and looked closer at them and sure enough there were what looked to be brush burns on each knee. I looked quickly at my elbow, seeing the same mark. Then my hands went quickly to my butt. My instinctive body language and movements flowed to the thought before my mind did. Now I really flushed. What if I hadn't remembered nearly as much of the night before as I thought I did? The little bits and pieces ran quickly through my mind again: The shot of whiskey, the puking on the floor, and the lying on his bed... What had I been doing on his bed? Was it possible that I had been.. had he done that? My hands went back to my butt again and I tried to fell if it was somehow different. Who knew how ones butt normally felt? Then I allowed myself to think it, but I accidentally said it out loud as well. "Did he fuck me?" I clapped my hands over my mouth in shock that I had spoken. Pray no one hear that please. I couldn't handle it. Well did he? I simply didn't know and was not about to ask him. I got to a place in my mind that he must not have or my ass would be sore and maybe the brush burns were from me falling or something. That must be what happened. It was. I would put that thought behind me, but for now I needed more sleep. My eyes flitted to the clock. Four hours. Yes. I needed more sleep. I lay down naked under the sheets not wanting to waste time and still being rather run down I quickly drifted off. But in the back of my mind, the part from the lizards that one can't quite control. The question sat. "Did he fuck me?" - When I was 12 years old there was this teacher who was really strict and seemed to have it out for this one boy. Although to be fair the boy pretty much never ever listened in her class and was a general pain in the ass to everyone so maybe she had a reason. The kid's name was Israel, for real. I guess his parents had a sense of humor or irony at least. Well, Israel had a plan that we would go out to her house at night and get a bunch of toilet paper and throw it all over her trees and then run on out of there kind of as a screw you for all the punishments and what not. I wasn't really too keen on the idea myself, but I am such a follower that they said, "c'mon," so I went. We got there and each had a couple rolls and ran through tossing them as high up in the tree as we could and then catching them after the fell to the ground and tossing them up again until the tree was covered with paper. It actually looked pretty cool if you ask me. We might have gotten away with it too, but guys like Israel always have to go too far. While the bulk of us were over at the tree, trying to keep quiet and decorating. He goes right up on the porch and starts ripping off chunks of toilet paper and getting them soaking wet and squishing them on to the side of the house. We didn't even know that all of this was going on until we heard him literally throwing the wet chunks at the wall. He said later that by throwing them they would stick better and be harder to pull off, but naturally the sound of little chunks of wet toilet paper hitting your walls caused Mr. Teacher to come flying out his front door in a rage, trying to figure out just 'what the goddamm hell was going on here'. That sent us all in flight by the shit luck that seems to follow me sometimes I was one of the guys rounded up. We went down to the police station where they called my Mom and she took me home. The feeling of sheer trepidation that I had walking up the stairs to my house knowing that a very angry Father waited inside is as close as I could come to describing what I felt like walking into work that night. The night after the strip club incident as I had catalogued it by now. I guess I could have just quit the job entirely, but I kept telling myself that it would work out somehow, and not to worry, praying maybe he blacked out or something. I had no idea, however, when I decided to actually go into work that I was going to have this crushing sense of being watched and that people knew what I had done. The little cameras on the ceiling were all pointed at me. I just KNEW that he was sitting there watching me. Probably running over the whole thing in his mind. It was almost too much to take. I started diligently getting after my stocking job. Going much faster than I normally did just to get into a rhythm and get past what I thought was going to be this first part and then I could just resume working the way I always had. The first row was finished quickly and I realized that it was far too soon to move on to another. There was always breaking down the boxes. We had this big machine out back that crushed up our extra boxes and then I guess they got recycled or something. It was a good way to waste some time. Just grab a few boxes go to the back and sit there a while and if someone came by push the button like you'd been doing it all along. The only downside of doing the boxes was that to get to the machine you went in the back of the store and turned left and to go to Tom's little office you turned right. I didn't think he would see me going back there and I hadn't seen him yet so my hope was that I would be able to slip by unseen and just hang out there for a bit. I was really dreading seeing him. I got by ok I thought for I saw no one on my way to the back and I proceeded to slowly break down the boxes. Time passed slowly as it always does when you have some menial job and you know how long you have left. It was still a couple hours till break and I had no interest in talking to anyone. My head was still hurting me a little bit even though most of the cobwebs had gone. Even though I was so trashed the night before, I had actually gone to bed rather early and that was helping, but I couldn't quite shake the feeling that I would like to have another brew. That gave me another pause. I realized that for the most part every aspect of me getting beer or drinking beer was in some way connected to Tom. I wasn't sure that I wanted to talk to Tom in anyway, but I didn't want to just stop drinking either. I kind of liked my routine of having a few after I got off work and being able to bring some home. Buying a sixer at the bar made me feel older, more mature but I knew that it was unlikely I could buy it anywhere else but at The Stands. This seems like an odd thing to run over & over your mind for an hour, but you try breaking down boxes with a hangover. There was still an hour or so until break when I finally saw Tom. The boxes were pretty much finished so I had had to run the damn machine, which brought him out of his office. He walked around the corner and stood there dressed in his work khakis and white dress shirt. I had sensed him out of the corner of my eye and looked over quick. Now my eyes could have rested anywhere. Look him in the eye, perhaps, or maybe even just not notice. But my eyes had to notice the one thing that stuck out. I mean really stuck out. Tom was standing there in his dress slacks with his cock hard as a rock in his pants. I could see the outline clearly and it was a few seconds before I pulled my eyes away. I wanted to kick myself. The whole idea was to try to blow everything off when I saw him. Say I had a blackout, didn't remember a damn thing. Go to the bar and stuff after work, but never ever go to his place again or anything like that. And what do I do the very first thing? Stare at his dick. I felt a movement in my own crotch area and turned away quickly so he wouldn't notice. "Hey man what's up," I said as coolly as I could. "Rough night. I hardly remember a thing. My head is killing me." I pressed my forehead up against the cool metal of the crusher. "Yeah you were pretty messed up. Really seemed to enjoy yourself though," Tom said evenly then finished with a question. "You like that, huh?" I paused my head pressed up against the machine. "Oh yeah man. Those chicks were hot. Good fun." I said. "OK, well, hey why don't you drop by the office when you finish up with that," Tom said, turning and leaving me alone. My mind ran over what he had said. Did that sound ok? I mean he was hard so he probably remembered what happened, but I figured on that. Could I pull off saying I didn't know what he was talking about and just skirt the issue and hope it went away? I finished up with the boxes pretty quick and resigned myself to heading to his office. Hopefully it would be quick and then I would be out of there and onto break. Then shoot through a couple rows, mop up and jet out of there. I needed a buzz on to get right again. The back part of the shop that housed the offices was pretty much just a line of small rooms. Each one had a door and next to it a window like six feet wide and then went on to the next door. Tom's office was the farthest one down on the right side. I passed one after another, lights out for the night and shades drawn. Some doors were papers with work documents; some were just little things from home. One lady's office was just a wall full of crayon art from her young one. A light streamed out into the hallway from Tom's open door and I noticed that his blinds were drawn. As I got closer I could feel the stirring back in my pants again and I desperately willed it too stop. The last thing I wanted was to telegraph some sort of desire to him. I went to the entrance, leaning on the doorjamb and Tom motioned to a chair set a few feet off to the side of his desk which was cluttered with papers, not the sign of a tidy man, but not a total slob either. "Yeah rough night," said Tom as he got up from his desk went to the door and closed it. He turned his chair to face mine and sat back down. I made a point of looking him in the face or maybe just over his shoulder at a lithograph of a horse he had on the wall. Anything but looking to see if he was still hard, which I desperately wanted to do. "You did a good job last night. Was that your first time?" he asked tenting his fingers in front of his face as if pondering some heavy details. "Good job?" I stammered. "Yes it was the first time I was at a titty bar I told you that before. You think I did a good job tipping the girl?" Tom smiled serenely. "No I meant the other thing. You see I have some friends that like that sort of attention from a boy like you once in a while. You really did seem to enjoy yourself." I tried to get up, but realized that now I was very aroused in my pants and if I had any hope of subterfuge he could not notice that. "I am sorry. I really don't know what you could be talking about. You see I don't drink that often and all of that liquor I just don't really remember much. What do you mean attention?" My words came out hurriedly in a stream. "Why when you sucked me off, of course," said Tom with another smile that reminded me eerily of the night before. Now was the chance for my academy award. My face turned beet red from embarrassment, but I tried to play it off as anger. I don't know why it mattered to me so much. I could have just left, but I needed him to know that I did not remember. "Now just wait! Stop making things up!" I tried to put as much emphasis on my words as I could without actually being loud, since the last thing I wanted was to draw attention to myself. Tom paused there, fingers still tented, eying me carefully. "Ok have it your way," Tom said rising out of his chair. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 02 For a second I thought I was victorious; that I would just leave the room and everything would return to normal; for just a second. Then my eyes deceived me. I had done so well not looking down at his crotch, but after he rose my eyes simply did not want to follow his. Maybe it was the shame of my actions with him or maybe that we both knew I was lying I am not sure, but I couldn't bear to look him in the eye anymore. The only problem was after he stood; straight ahead of me were his tented pants, just as I had noticed them before. I quickly averted my gaze, but it was too late. Tom slipped the belt through the loop and slowly pulled the buckle back unfastening it from the eyelet then pulled it apart. His fingers went to the top button of his chinos, which he undid as well. The zipper stretched under the force pushing out from below. Tom took a small step forward and then another. Soon his hard cock straining to get free was less than a foot from my face. This whole time all I could do was sit there and look to the ground. I f I looked up I would see his manhood. If I stood I would reveal my excitement. But I had to look up. I betrayed myself taking him in my eyes and giving a involuntary lick of my lips. This seemed to be the sign he as looking for. He took a hold of the zipper and slowly took it down, showing his pubic hair and just a bit more. I could smell him now. "Boy," he said in a low voice, "This is where you decide. The fact that you're still sitting in that chair oughta tell you all you need to know. Now get to it or leave and don't come back." I swallowed hard and bit my lip again. My palms felt wet with all my nervous energy so I wiped them on my thighs before raising them to peel back his pants the rest of the way. A couple more inches and his knob released itself popping out at me. My lips parted and reached for it like a baby chick does when feeding. His big sweet mushroom head bobbed in front of me. Catching it with my lips I held him between and then started moving my head back and forth slowly, my palms still resting on his thighs. He let me work for a minute and then took a full step forward in between my legs, taking my space for his own. He grabbed my head with both hands and thrust himself in. Once. Twice. A third time... Then quickly almost frustrated he reached down and pulled my hands off his legs, which I let, fall to my side. "Better," he muttered. Hands returned to my head and thrusts resumed. When he was on a back motion only the sweet tip of him was in me but as he pushed forward, not only his length entered me but also his whole body charged towards me. There was not only a root probing the inner depths of my oral cavity, but a belly slamming up against my nose and heavy balls smacking my chin. Now I knew what it was to get my face fucked and was glad that he was no larger. How could anyone take larger? When his thrusts went to deep and passed into my throat I would make a 'Guhh' sound and it would squish. My mouth started to fill with a lubricating juice from my throat, which ran down my chin. "That's right you chose this you little faggot," Tom huffed muskily, "Take it now." And I could feel my mouth starting to fill with the wet warmth I would get to know and love so well. There wasn't even a rejection of the word faggot in my mind even though that would give me cause for concern later on. At that moment it just seemed the right thing. He pulled back out and his cock pointed at me bouncing up and down as if it were nodding in approval. His pants had a wet spot from my drool. I looked down at my shirt to find a wet line down the center there as well. Tom sat back down, not bothering to fasten up his pants. They just sat there open above his knees; his cock glistening wet on his thigh retreating to its natural state after the release. "Like I was saying. I have some friends that like that sort of attention," Tom said as if talking to a business associate and then queried, "You didn't answer my question before. Was that your first time?" I flushed. I might as well tell him. "I sucked a guy at the bookstore about a month or so before, but that was the first time," I confessed. "I see. Well close enough." Tom picked himself off the chair and pulling his pants back up tidied up a bit. "You got a little on me," He said motioning to the wet spot on his fly. "You will learn to be more careful." Taking a step back over in front of my chair he grabbed the back of my head and pressed my nose into the wet spot. I could fell the shape of his manhood beneath and it felt like it was growing again. Surely, he wouldn't want to already? "I have friends we go to these traditional parties from time to time. They are rather well off from the neighborhood and we still hang out. I don't pay because I bring the young man." While explaining all of this he was grinding his groin into my face getting harder all the time. It was actually getting hard for me to breathe; my nose was cut off completely. He didn't mind me just dry fucked my face I guess you would call it and continued. "Usually these things are setup for nights on the weekend so we have a little time, but I will be introducing you individually to them beforehand for the most part. Tom reached over and grabbed the phone, hit the speed dial and waited. "Yes. Is Milt there? Yes. I'll Wait. Hi Milt how's it going? Guess what I found us another member for the club you know the kind. Yes like that. Hey you want to break him in? I think it's your turn. Ok. Sure." Tom stopped and handed the phone down to me. "Speak," he commanded. "Hello," I said shakily. "So you're the new boy?" The man sounded older with a raspy voice. "I guess so," I answered still very nervous and not knowing what this was all about. "You can follow directions?" he asked. "Yes, Sir", I said. "Sir. Hmm. Good boy," he continued, "You will met me at the M Hotel room 129 at 2PM tomorrow. Tomorrow meaning 2PM Sunday. You got that? "OK", I replied. "Now give him back the phone." I obeyed and sat there kind of lost and wondering just what it was that I was doing. Did I really intend to go meet someone just like that? Every thing was happening much too fast and in a way that there was no control on my part. My mind screamed for me to put on the brakes, but something inside just wanted to go with it. Tom finished up, hanging up the phone. "Ok well that's set. You will want to make him happy. If you play this right things... Well let's say they tend to set up their boys pretty well. You don't have to bother finishing up work here I can clock you out. We're slow anyways. I'm tempted to have another round at that mouth of yours. You're a good cocksucker." I blushed at this. I didn't realize him saying it like that would give me the chill that it did. "I can go?" I asked. "Sure yeah. Why not?" he replied. "Can I ask you something first?" I looked up at him with a sort of awe. He had a power over me that just wasn't there before. "Sure. What is it?" He asked. "Did you fuck me last night?" He pondered for a second then gave me his beaming knowing smile. "No. Did you want me too? You might be here a little longer if you aren't careful." "Okay." I said quickly and got up to leave. "Don't be late," he said as I shut the door behind me. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 03 AUTHOR'S NOTE This is a story about a young man exploring his sexuality and finding out he is a gay submissive. It is rather long and not all about sex so if you are looking for a quickie you might want to look elsewhere. This is a fantasy. All characters are over the age of 18. Please enjoy. ------------------- The night air was damp as I walked the street to the corner bar. A light mist sprayed from the sky and rested on my cheeks cooling them. There was general feeling of overheating in me. Unknown sensations welled up from deep within me. There was a feeling that I was almost not real, but watching myself, and it was uncomfortable. I needed something to drink to bring me down to quiet and calm. The Strand's juke twanged away the steel guitar of some long gone classic. I opened the door and a rush of air blew out as if to welcome me and then drew me in. Being only about midnight, more than a few patrons lined the bar and the bartender, a new guy I had never seen before, was watching a hockey game with the sound turned off. I found myself wishing that I had asked Tom to call up here and have them let me buy some booze. Could he really do that? I supposed not. He was just a guy that came in and boozed it up like the rest of these guys, but his chances were better than mine. Gathering up my courage I tried to look as old as I could and with an air of disinterest wandered up to the bar. A line of sodden heads stared at the TV screen where a tall thin player was weaving his way through center ice. He zigged past one defenseman and was about to make his way to freedom when out of nowhere an opponent slammed into him sending him reeling, separating him from the puck and his senses. The men in the bar cheered over loud with the excitement of inebriation. I waited until what seemed like a lull in the action and using my loudest voice told the bartender I wanted a couple sixes of beer. You got any ID on you?" he said looking me over. "I left it at the house. I come in here all the time could you just get it for me?" I pleaded. "Sorry bud. Can't do. We just had a liquor control guy in here a couple nights ago." He seemed genuinely sorry, but I could tell that he wasn't going to get served that night. An evil little thought brewed up inside of me. I should lean over and whisper in his ear that I would suck his cock if he let me buy some. The idea was quickly discarded out of fear, discretion and a sense of disgust with myself. I wasn't really going to ask that I told myself and laughed it off. I went back out into the night. It wasn't far to my place from here I could turn down the road that led directly to the campus proper or I could follow Vine street which ran parallel and was more residential. There was no hurry to get home and more relaxing feel of this area suited me far more than the hectic party scene down by the dorms so I walked on into the darkness. The mood of this night suited me. There was the need for some looking inside of myself. For the most part I still desperately wanted to be attracted to girls and not have sex with men; to just be like other people. And I was. I mean when the cheerleaders walked by I looked just like all of the other guys, but you wouldn't be able to tell that my sexual experiences since arriving at college. Block after block passed and I shortly realized that if I didn't turn back toward campus soon that I would pass it altogether and be lost in the middle of the night or at the very least have to retrace my steps. I turned left down a rather wide alleyway. Dumpsters and carports lined either side. I suppose that I should have been more nervous being that I was in a decent sized city wandering at night in unknown territory, but it seemed that the night itself was protecting me. The alley let out back on the main strip but much further down town than I had walked before. To my left would be the dorms and home, but across the street on the far corner was a joint with some bright music playing. The door was open and a few guys were standing out front messing around. The sign above the entrance said Cloud Two. By the neon lights all over the windows I assumed it was a bar and figured I might as well take another shot at getting some brews. The place was packed with people. On the left hand wall was a long bar backed by a mirror the entire length. Ten or so tables formed in a semi-circle around a dance floor only 20 feet square. A small disco ball hung in the center and grebe and blue strobe gave the place a very surreal feel. My plan of action this time was to actually just hang at the pace a while, drinking a few there. If I tipped well, hopefully I could grab a six to bring home where I could zone out to my thoughts a bit. The lights and the dancing was hypnotic, which may have caused me to be more natural when I went to get a drink, or they just didn't care here. Either way in short order, I found myself at a small table alone. I sipped the first drink then followed it up with a second and third. It was very comfortable there for me. The hyperdrone beat glazed me into a welcome trance. Now I could collect my thoughts and put them in some sort of order. The whole thing was so chaotic. The touchstones I my mind: The boy jacking on the couch; the encounter in the video booth, a surprise with Tom and then again on my knees in what I had to admit to myself was not really a shock. I had set myself up by going back in there. My thoughts returned to the feeling of trepidation I had felt before going to work that night. Wasn't it in fact rather a feeling of overexcitement that I could hardly bear? I had chosen to go into the back where access to me without the knowledge of my co-workers would be the easiest and had stayed there when clearly finished until I was "discovered". There was also the old man on the phone and this group of "friends". With all of the sex going on I really hadn't had time to think much about it. It simply didn't seem possible that there was a real person expecting me to meet him at a hotel for what certainly would be sexual favors. "Break me in," Tom had said and that last little parting shot before I left. There was definitely something about the penis that attracted me. It was undeniable. If not my reaction should certainly have been much different. The image of his cock bouncing in front of my eyes after he had deposited his seed tonight flipped to the front of my mind and I tried to hold it there consciously. Yes, there was no doubt that I was held in a sort of thrall. Even now there was a growing sensation in my jeans. Was I really that way though? Couldn't it still at this stage just be a sort of wild experimentation stage before I started to engage in a normal sex life with a girl? I tried to picture the cock slipping back into my mouth, but I lost it. That was proof right there wasn't it? If I was a flaming homo wouldn't I be able to hold onto that image and take the fantasy further? Wasn't there some inner quality of me that all of these actions of late didn't jive with? My mouth, yes, I could admit I liked that feeling when he filled my mouth, but maybe that was just trying a new thing. I couldn't let a man take me from behind or that would really ice it. If I let him "break me in" then I would lose control of the whole situation and there would be no going back. The whole fear it seemed to me to be that I was losing control of the situation; that whether I really wanted it or not I was being drawn into this world of sex with men. I wanted to have the ability put a stop to it and be the determiner of my own fate. Right then and there made my own decision. This was my life and I was going to live it the way that I wanted. I would down a couple beers here quick and then go home with a couple sixes and get good and slammed, "forget" to wake and go meet the man at the hotel and just cut all ties with Tom. Next weekend I would go up on the hill to the fraternities and just talk to every drunk girl I could until one let me have sex with her and I would just bury all this somewhere inside of me. At this point no one knew. I looked around the room for some girl that was maybe unattached. Heck, it was close to last call by now anyways. Maybe I could grab one of them here and take her back to my empty place. First I scanned the tables around me. Only a couple still had people at them. All of which were guys of either college age or a little bit older. I turned back to the bar and looked down the long row. Probably about 5 dudes were left hanging out there. Finally, I scanned the dancers. The glaring lights and smoky atmosphere had somewhat blurred them into the background of my vision. There were about six forms out there bouncing around. All of them guys. Men were dancing with men and two were wrapped in an embrace that could not be confused with anything else. Not only were there no girls here now. It came to me that there never were any at all. There wasn't even time for that to register when the bartender walked by my table. "Hey you last call," he said. I looked directly over but hadn't raised my eyes yet so I stared right at his crotch. Why did I keep doing that? I bit my lip in embarrassment and looked up at him. "Thanks," I said. He went on to the other tables and then the dance floor before passing me again as he returned. I pretended not to pay any attention to him, but I got one more quick little view of his crotch right before he headed back to the bar. I could swear I could make it out. Well, I didn't have time really to ponder anything if I was to get some for the road. So I quickly got up and followed him to the bar and asked for a couple sixes. There wasn't any sort of acknowledgement that I had just been looking at him down there. Probably this was the sort of place that happened all the time. He just grabbed some out of the cooler, bagged it up and I was on my way. The night had cleared up and the streets were pretty bare. It was a Sunday night after all I guess so not as many people were out. I didn't care my Monday classes were easy anyways and I wasn't really feeling school all that much lately. I got to my room with no problems from the guard at the desk and settled down slamming a few beers quickly. Tonight I was going to get good and messed up. I just wanted to stop my mind for a bit. The music was kept low; the TV on some obscure music video channel with no sound on. I dropped towards oblivion When a video with an attractive woman would come on I would rub myself through my pants and just stare at here, keeping my mind totally devoid of any active thought. It occurred to me that I was trying to program myself. I dipped deeper and deeper into a state of intoxication. My clothes had been shed and know I was stroking myself slowly with every girl trying to imprint their curves into my psyche. Between songs or when it was a different kind of act I would lurk about the room looking for something there was something missing. On a longer one of these breaks I was going through my closet and found something. It wasn't certain that it was the "something" that was missing, and it wasn't what I wanted to be the "something", but I found it nevertheless. A while back I had been taking a shower in the public restroom that we all shared on the floor and I had noticed that someone had left behind a shampoo bottle. It wasn't really all that different than any other of the same that you may have seen, but there is one thing about most shampoo bottles that this one wasn't. Your typical shower kit for traveling has this tiny bottle of shampoo in it. About 3 inches in length and quite thin. More often than not it is an oblong shape laterally instead of a circle. The normal bottle that a person would buy for general use is much larger about 10 inches or so long and, while round, at least a couple inches in diameter. This particular bottle, for it is the bottle itself that was unique not the liquid inside, was about seven inches long and about an inch and a half thick. My first thought when I saw it was to pick it up and compare it to my penis. It won by a small margin, but one could certainly see it as a possible replacement. When compared to the organ of the boy I saw masturbating, for example, it would have been slightly lacking. For whatever reason, perhaps fate, I had collected the bottle and it now lay on my shelf with other toiletries. I brought it back to the chair I had rested in all night, took a deep drag on one of my remaining beers and reposed, legs spread out in front of me. I rubbed dildo, I had started to think of it as that, on my belly back and forth. The plastic material was cool to the touch and as it ran along my skin it seemed to raise goosebumps, which receded shortly after it had passed. My chin rested on my chest so my field of vision was the rolling placebo in the foreground, then my very real life tool still erect and throbbing from much use and no release, and then the television screen framed on either side by my bare feet. The lady on the screen came into focus; more a young girl really than a lady, fresh and sweet. She pranced around delicately. This was the one! I lurched forward quickly bringing myself to my knees, moved my hand down into position and vigorously started working my shaft. She turned away from me and bent, arching her back and looking back with a coquettish smile. I worked hard, in almost a state of panic. The video could end at any minute. It had to be now. This would free me from the spell. My eyes moved from the screen down to my furious pumping, cock lost in the blur of my fist. It was inconceivable. I had been building myself up for so long. Normally just a few second of this and I was over the edge. The song seemed to be winding down. The girl was waving goodbye to me. There had to be something. Without thinking I reached down with my left hand and found the bottle, brought it up to my mouth and started shoving it in and out like Tom had done earlier that night. It seemed days ago but it was just that night. The girl on the screened winked off. The song over, I closed my eyes literally fucking my hand now and blew all over. Five, Six, Seven shots. Each one accompanied by a deep groan from the depths of me. So loud and only stifled by the bottle (dildo ~ cock) in my mouth. There was no concern for anyone hearing or thoughts of what I was doing at all, just sheer ecstasy. My body wracked and then, spent, I fell to the floor, mouth still full and crashed into a deep sleep. -- A gentle breeze whispered over my body, moving the soft light brown hairs on my arms and legs back and forth. The sun's warmth soaked into my skin and the bones beneath invigorating me and at the same time soothing me into a deep state of relaxation. The lids of my eyes were weighted shut so utter was the tranquility of my nature. Immunity to furrowed brows, clenched shoulders and rigid counterfeit grins was granted as I lay back on the chaise lounger, supported just properly to a point where I was almost floating on its surface. A voice echoed in the distance of my daze, but was brought into focus as my consciousness returned. "Sir..." "Sir, you had asked for a towel?" I breathed deeply and slowly took in my surroundings as my eyes opened. A few steps in front of me was a pool, which seemed to have no edge as it met the horizon. It was as if when you entered the pool you would naturally be drawn right over the edge. It was backed by a deep forest, viewed from an angle high above. There was the quality of floating on a cloud "Sir?" A man stood on my left side, in his hands, a large white fluffy towel. He held the towel level with his firm tight abdomen. Beneath that he wore no clothes at all and between his legs was the largest flaccid penis. It was more robust than most men at full mast, but hung loose until it flared widely at the tip. On either side were 2 very healthy testes the size of small eggs, which would rise up a bit on certain words he spoke. "Sorry if I woke you, Sir," He said in a smooth voice, "but you had asked for it special." I raised my hand slowly up until I touched him. My fingers brushed up behind his glans and the whole long snake jumped. I slid up the shaft to the waiting balls and cupped one then the other, gently pulling them down with my fingers in a sort of milking motion. The healthy member jumped again and started every so slightly to straighten. From underneath I delicately ran my fingers up behind his precious sack of jewels and worked them around to the front. Slipping them through the soft patch of fur. The giant love tool came to life just a tiny bit more, not hanging but arching out like the branches of a willow. My fingertips traced the outline of his shaft, slipping over the veiny bumps, trying to read the secret Braille of this life-giving tool. His excitement mounted and it pointed nearly straight out at me, beckoning my assistance. I had awoken it and now it was my responsibility. I sat up turning sideway and faced him. My left hand moved back to massage his so heavy, so full balls. My right worked underhanded along the bottom of his shaft and caressing the tip. My lips pursed, hovering inches from the eye of this monster. I blew upon it lightly and then began to stretch my tongue out toward the entrance. When only the barest fragment of space intervened between the two I squeezed gently with my left hand willing the release of some of what was to cum. A single droplet appeared at the tip, so close to my eyes that I could cherish the wetness fully. A tiny clear bubble grew slowly and then replacing the pure clarity were tiny white streams. They pushed at the edges forcing the drop to grow until it seemed it would burst. My tongue touched the edge ever so slightly and for a second they were apart. Then the flow started. A tiny rivulet of fragrant precum roiled down its base. Another gentle tug on the balls and more the river was refreshed. I went for a selfish third try but alas there was none. I would have to work in earnest now. My right hand gripped the shaft, the tips of my fingers barely touching on the other side. I started to pull back and forth, mouth agape like a trout. Then I took him in my mouth. There seemed to be too much to fit, but my mouth magically spread apart to accept this loving gift. Down I went until the entire fastness that was my mouth was full the whole way to the palate. It was not enough though. I wanted more. A deep need inside of me drove me deeper and the head of his cock, the thickness of which had to dwarf my gullet's by nearly an inch, slipped down into my throat and beyond, traversing the virginal depths deeper and deeper within me until it reached my heart. There was no further motion. I was there, hands limply at my sides. His whole length buried to the depth within me, nostrils taking in his musky odor, which marked me as his. He started to pulse. His heavy hanging jewels rose up with every tumult. As the sweet cum roared down, his manly tool grew and stretched me, filling the empty spaces within. I looked up past the flat stomach and defined chest, up into his eyes. He stared down on me, temporarily released from the bondage of self; for a single moment on the panes of eternity. His bright smile a beacon of spirit shining upon me. Then suddenly all changed right before my very eyes. The cock shriveled down to the size of a mortal man. My mouth held the taste of his seed heavily. It seemed to slip out my very pores. My face smelled heavily of crotch. The flat chiseled belly grew into that of a middle-aged man's beer gut. The face now obscured by the girth turned into that of my boss. His big cheesy knowing grin looked down. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 03 "Thanks, faggot," he said and then pulled out. Off in the distance a phone began to ring... -- My return to consciousness was a sharp one. I still lay thereon the floor of my room. The video channel played on and the dildo-bottle lay on the floor in front of me in a puddle of drool. The phone rang and rang and rang. It jangled my every nerve. I suppressed the urge to just run over and beat it to dust, more from the fact that running seemed literally impossible in my current state than any concern for he instrument of my torture. I took a few deep breaths and slowly got to my feet. My body seemed to move back and forth to my heavy heartbeat. Even though I knew perfectly well where the phone was I kind of wandered about the room as if in search of it. Looking first over at my bed and then back on the desk where I had three remaining beers. I contemplated them for a minute and decided that I might actually be able to speak if I had one so I cracked it and tried to chug it. Big mistake. I retched and almost lost it all over the floor, but after I recovered I took a few smaller swigs, which stayed down all right. My clothes were still gone of course, but I looked at myself to make sure. Down on my one thigh was a big wet spot. I must have been leaking like mad in that dream. Damn what a dream. Never had one like that before. Reaching down my finger pooled around in the wetness. I brought it up to inspect it and then gave it a lick. It tasted good so I went back and got the rest. Then finally I answered the phone. It had rung like a million times since I got up and only one person would likely do that. Looking back now I think that maybe if I hadn't taken that drink or tasted my juice things might have ended up much different. You never know about those things really. Maybe it is all fate and you don't have a choice I don't know, but for me it went this way. "Hello," I said into the phone groggily. "Hey. Where are you?" It was Tom, of course and he sounded kind of gruff. It occurred to me that since he had called me he knew perfectly well where I was, but I didn't say anything. "Do you know what time it is?" The voice asked. "Umm well, no, I mean Yeah," looking at the clock by the bed, "it's two-thirty. Oh shit. Yeah I know. Right. Yeah I said so." I'm leaving out all of what he said because it was a bunch of stupid shit I didn't remember anyways. Bottom line is he was mad because I had missed my date and that the guy was gonna head over and pick me up at the dorm in like 5 minutes so throw some clothes on and go out to meet him. No it didn't matter that I was hungover and looked like shit I could take care of everything later. He said something about the track, but I wasn't paying attention. Just then the buzzer thing on my door went off. I totally picked the wrong morning to have my head like this. The intercom was even worse than the phone. I just hug up on Tom and answered it. "Hello" "Hi there is a Milton Silver here to see you," it was the security guard, probably mad that someone had woken him up. "OK yeah. Umm. Just tell him wait a couple minutes I'll be right down." I kind of cleaned myself up quick threw on some aftershave that I had and fresh jeans and shirt and headed out. This whole time I had not even considered not going. I am not sure why. There was no reflection about what I was getting myself into, nothing at all, Actually I was kind of looking forward to it because this Milton guy for some reason I had him pegged as a drinker and lately I had been dipping in the sauce quite a bit. I got down to the entrance and waved thanks to the guard, looking around for my ride. He wasn't hard to spot. About 5'10, light build. He had an angular face, black hair peppered on the sides with gray. He wore light dress pants and shirt and a black blazer. If you made me sum it up you would it would be something like Dracula meets Miami Vice. It worked for him though. He was talking on a phone. It was still rather rare at a that point to see someone on a mobile and it wasn't one of those big boxlike ones so he had to be doing pretty well for himself We met and he smiled, leading me to a black luxury sedan. I half expected him to have a chauffer, but he was driving himself. "Hello, I am Milton Silver." He addressed himself formally. "I'm John." I didn't. "I figured I would take you out to my place for a bit and then we could go out to the track, the company has a box out there." "That's cool. Sorry Tom called me I kind of slept in." I apologized. "Yeah, he told me that you went out last night and got yourself tight." He reached into the console and produced a silver flask. "Here help yourself." I accepted it, removing the cap and sniffing. Some sort of whiskey I supposed. I tilted back the flask and took a belt. "Go on, go on. Take the edge off, you want to enjoy yourself", he prodded. It was kind of an obvious attempt, but I didn't mind and I took a big gulp, swallowed it and quickly took another small hit off the bottle before restoring the cap. The familiar calm washed over me and my jangled nerves were silenced. He drove on in silence for a while as we left the city and slipped into the countryside. It was nice being out of the bustle of town for once. Reminded me a little of home. A quick thought came over me about what my parents or people back home might think if they knew I was in this car under these pretenses and I took another heavy belt from the flask which took me from taking the edge of to a full blown glow. I looked over at Milt and he was already looking at me smiling. "You know you were a naughty boy leaving me hanging back there you know, John. Milton admonished. "It's ok though. You will make it up to me." He took my left hand in his right and placed it on his lap. My palm landed on his thigh but missed any special part, only the tip of my finger brushed every so lightly. I held still for a second and then started exploring, just keeping my hand flat and moving slowly down to the center where his bulge lived. Shifting around in his seat to get more comfortable, the man old enough to be my father eased the power seat back, reached over again this time collecting not my hand but the top of my head. He matted the my hair lightly into his fist and gently pulled me down towards him, only when I resisted ever so slightly did he use force, shoving my face into his groin. "Lick." It was a command not from the soft gentle voice he had been using, but of one long used to getting his way in boardrooms. I started licking his pants, which were made of a sort of silk. My tongue found his cock, slightly stiffening but not yet hard. My tongue went right to the head, the most sensitive part. I wanted him to get hard and horny and free himself so I could taste his flesh. But, he was a practiced master of even his own obsessions. Through a simple force of will he kept himself from getting fully erect, making me work for it. I would lick and kiss him, making little cooing sounds like I was really getting into it. The truth was I really did get into it and I think he knew that. He drove on for probably ten minutes like that, my face in his crotch and his hand holding my head down. Through careful maneuvering I had managed to work the head of his cock into my mouth so it as like I was giving him a very short blowjob through his slacks, but I could never get enough depth. Just then the car started to slow down. I filled with anticipation thinking perhaps Milton had decided it was too much for him and he was pulling off the side of the road for a full on blowjob. To be honest, I was really looking forward to it. At first I hadn't really cared, but after spending the last bit of time in his lap I was turning into a cock hungry slut. He pulled the car over and we went over a small bump. Curious, I tried to lift my head to see where we were, but Milton held my still. "Don't stop," he ordered. I went back to sucking on his head like before when the car stopped entirely. We sat there idling for a couple minutes and then he pulled forward about ten feet and stopped again. What was he doing? His breathing was getting noticeably heavier so I knew that he was really getting into it, but what exactly "it" was I had no real idea. The car pulled forward and then stopped again. The sound of a power window being lowered froze me for a second, but a squeeze on my hair and I resumed my tiny sucks. "Good day, Mr. Silver, how may I help you today?" Asked a cheery feminine voice. "Just a deposit my dear. One Second." He said, "John, my dear, would you be so kind as to grab the deposit from the glove box. It is all ready." Then he lifted me off his lap and motioned to the compartment. I reached over, opened it, pulling out the only envelope it contained and handed it to Milt, but he motioned me away. "You may hand it to her." He said. There was nothing else to do so I reached over him and out the window to a smiling girl who was maybe in her early twenties, pretty with curly blond hair. "Thank you. I will have the receipt in a sec.", she said taking the deposit. Before she could turn away, Mr. Silver took me by the hair again and pushed me back down onto his crotch. For the second before I disappeared a look of shock came over my face and then I was gone from view. His cock was rigid against my cheek where I rested a second before rubbing my lips up and down the shaft over and over. "Thank you. Here is your receipt Mr. Silver. You have a good day now," said the pretty bank teller. Then she giggled. The power window rolled back up and we drove off but just before we were out of earshot I heard "Oh my God..." I flushed with shame, but at the same time a kind of excitement came over me. "Well young John. You seem to work down there rather well, but we will see. I need to know now before I let you suck my cock. Are you willing to please me and my cock, in any manner I wish, wherever, and whenever I wish?" I paused not knowing what to do. "Answer John," he ordered "Anywhere? Anytime?" I asked. "Yes John, Anytime, anywhere, without question, you will be my sexual servant and may help with a few other things. You will get in return the understanding of the meaning of your life." He continued, "Answer John. Answer me now. Yes or No." It all passed through my head so fast. I wasn't ready to make a decision like this. Why would I want to? And yet here I was my head in his lap willingly. I had not resisted where other men would have fought. Maybe I wasn't really a man in that sense. It was too much. "OK, John I guess not I will take you home." he said, pulling me off his crotch and releasing my hair. "Yes," I said meekly "What John? I could not hear you? And call me Sir I am your better." "Yes Sir. I will do it." My words came out practically on their own. "Say out loud exactly what you will do and give me your word. Your word is your bond." He stated. "I will please your cock whenever you want, where and how you want." I said, quickly adding "Sir". "Give your word, John." He said waiting. "I give my word." I said with finality. "Fair enough now you may suck my cock. We have about 10 minutes until we get to the house. Do not bring me to orgasm before we arrive." He ordered. "Understood?" "Yes Sir" I waited for his hand to pull me back down, but realized obedience was simply accepted now. Bending over him I reached down and undid the buttons of his fly, slipping my hand inside. He was wearing boxers and I fished around for the hole, finally getting a hold and slipped him right out through. Some men look older and some younger than their age. It seems to be the same way with penises. When a guy gets older sometimes his penis isn't as reactive or wont get quite as hard, but Mr. Silver's wasn't like that at all. I bet in a blind taste test between his cock and a young man's you would have a hard time telling which was whose. Between all of my work prior, the public activity and the addition of a new boy he was trying for the first time, Milt's hilt was rock hard at full mast. It had been too much for me the waiting, the second my lips touched the head of his cock I dove deep down, needing for feel the length of him. Unlike the fantasy state of the dream where I took the monster cock the whole ay to my belly, reality told me a different story and I gagged heavily almost losing it in his lap. I thought he would admonish me, but he let me play the fool this time. Now more slowly up and down the length I worked into a rhythm concentrating mostly on the first few inches of what was a average or slightly better cock, keeping the helmet in my mouth the whole time, just working with my lips. Sometimes I would get to fast, making him get too close, and he would hold my head and direct me to a much slower speed. Two or three seconds up and then the same back down again. Before long I would be up to the speed I wanted to go. My body's natural rate of sucking that would get me the seed I craved. After a few times of this, he pulled my mouth completely off. "Be careful, Son. Your job is to suck my cock, not make me cum until I say it. Just lick my balls for now." He said. I obeyed lathering them with my tongue and then going back and forth from one to the other, gently sucking. His hard shaft rested on my cheek. Where I had just seconds ago been desperately working for a load I know took a more relaxed aspect. Throughout the early part of the ride where I was in his lap working through the material of his slacks and later when I was sucking up and down, I had been hovering over him and holding myself up with my arms. As it had been more than a few minutes, my less than fully developed arms had started to tire. This new position allowed me to relax and merely rest my head in his lap. I curled my legs up on my seat and in a fetal position suckled sweetly. I occurred to me that this might be what he meant by my meaning to life. Many things assaulted my senses that should have been repellent to me, but somehow were not. The smell between his legs, a mix of his manly scent and some other juices was not something that I would have ordinarily thought pleasant, but down here it felt right. In fact, it washed over me and excited me. The taste of his cock and balls was that of skin cooped up since the early morning shower, where the hormones of exhilaration had seeped through the pores, sweat had gathered and saliva and precum had mixed, fermenting into a taboo cocktail. Certainly, the sights and sounds down here were not what were expected of a young horny college kid. There was a turntable delight of feelings from belonging, to perversion, to disgust. All of them were experiences: essential, active, alive. There was a sense that things were happening to me and that I as a part of them, a secret path that unwound in moments of delight and suspense. We pulled up at the large old brownstone on the hill. The lawn was the sort of spacious that says you have room to spare with the added benefit of keeping the others at bay. Finely trimmed hedges lined the path to the house with beds of white flowers trimming the edges. Four cylindrical pillars supported the porch area, which was flanked by large bay windows fronted by elegant white couches. Mr. Silver opened the door and motioned me inside. He removed his shoes and I followed suit. The foyer was wide and open with a wooden staircase. We went to the left into a living area with a cathedral ceiling. A large semicircular couch set faced a wide screen television. I was directed to the couch and then left to my own designs for a short time. All of the sexual action of late had been directed at pleasing my host, but my body was not about to be entirely left out of the loop. As I sat sinking into the black leather cushions I noticed a sensation of wetness on my thigh. Sure enough I had deposited some cock dew and with a little naughty delight my finger slipped down my pants and returned to my lips. I was really starting to develop a taste for nature's lubricant. It as so good that I reached down to see if I could extract some more, followed by another taste and then more searching. Lacking further supplies I decided to free my member and try to work some out. In prior masturbation sessions I had noticed that if I squeezed from the prostate up the length of my shaft, usually a large drop of precum would appear. I would just use it as lube, being as how I was a nice little straight boy, but now I was expanding my horizons and my plan was to devour it as every little taste I got seemed to egg on my natural passion. Fingers ran up the underside of my phallus, milking a bit at a time to the very tip and not surprisingly a clear drop appeared. I gently gathered it, closed my eyes and brought it up to my pouting lips. The slick salty mixture sent a tiny tremor of lust through my system as a draught stricken vampire taking a drop of blood. It was participating in this endeavor that it was my fortune to be surprised by a voice that I had not heard before. "You must be the Boss's new houseboy." The voice was foreign, Latin sounding. I tried to cover myself up but it was a fool's game. My pants were entirely around my ankles. The best I could do was conceal my crotch and look over my shoulder in embarrassment. Houseboy? That sounded permanent. Perhaps the young man didn't really understand English all that well. He was in his twenties, stood about five foot ten, was lightly muscled, but cut, wore work jeans and a tank top. Oddly, a half naked person sitting on the couch tasting his own junk didn't really seem to faze him. Just then Mr. Silver came back carrying two tall glasses. "Oh, Hector, I am glad you are here. This is Jack he will be around from time to time." Hector and I exchanged greetings. "This one enjoys giving attention like the last couple so feel free to ask him if there is anything you need. I am sure it wont take much encouragement," Mr. Silver continued. "Will it John?" "Umm, no Sir," I stammered not sure what to say. "In fact, Hector, I see you have been working hard. Would you do me one last favor and feed the boy here? You see I want to save myself for later." A grin washed over the tan face and he nodded, moving the coffee table out of the way and walking over in front of me on the couch. He unfastened his pants, dropping the to the floor and whipped out his cock, already hard and a good six inches long. His balls hung down much further than the few other men that I had experienced so far. Hector, put both his hands on the top of my head and pushed himself into my waiting mouth. The sweaty work smell was overpowering. Where just minutes ago I as reflecting on how natural all the new sights and smells of my new path were to me, now the attack of this almost rank smell stopped me in my tracks and my hands flew up to his thighs and I resisted for a second. The cock head was on my lips and then pushed through the no longer virginal entrance to my mouth. His taste was overpowering as he shoved himself deep, immediately starting the thrusts of one who is getting close to the end. The power of it all, the smell, the taste, my revulsion, took control of me and while inside I wanted to resist further, my hands stopped pushing back from him, instead taking a posture of submission, arms raised slightly but limp wrested. I accepted his irrumation. A torrent of filthy words in a foreign tongue came at me from above while his cock dominated the entrance to my face. I heard "polla", "maricon" and "puta," over and over. His breathing was short and raspy. At points he would literally growl and shove deep, forcing me to gag and my eyes to water heavily. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 03 His scent was still very heavy, but it seemed that my mouth and throat juices washed his cock and the aftertaste of his work-soiled penis rang sharply in my mouth, a new wonder. His heavy hangers smacked up against my chin hitting underneath as he held my head tilted back. There was no choice but to look up at him. A foul grimace was on his visage as if he were literally attacking my face with his cock. "Take it Puta, Take it," he moaned arching his back, closing his eyes and shooting load after load of hot cum into my gullet. My eyes looked up in wonder, as if a demigod has been exposed to me. The look on his face as he had erupted, so strong and virile, things I could never truly be or understand. Somehow the taste of his seed came back up into my mouth now and it was very sharp. I held his gaze and slowly worked my lips up and down the shiny tool, all the time in my little sissy pose, arms at my sides, elbows turned up and at the top my hands dangling from my wrists. "Excellent! Excellent!" Milton applauded, "Yes you will be a good little one for us. Just wait until this weekend. That is fine Hector you are free to leave early. Simply Excellent." -- My naked form looked down at me from the mirror on the ceiling of the guest room. Outwardly there was little difference. Only in the way I perceive the self that I was looking at had there been a change. My scrawny arms now were soft and spindly; my thin chest and legs now more feminine; my penis was small and inadequate a symbol of my place on the sexual ladder. I could see how a man might mistake me for a girl if I were to dress right. Was that what I wanted? No. Not really ... but maybe it would be nice. I seemed to be getting quit a bit of attention just the way I was so no need to change anything. Beside me on the bed lay my clothes that I was to put on for our trip. A simple white dress shirt and black pants a black vest, belt and some dress socks and shoes. I put them on my freshly showered body and realized that he had left out a pair of underwear. This must have been on purpose so I just went ahead and finished clothing myself. The soft material of the pants rubbed up against my package in a way that I wasn't quite used to and it was hard not to get aroused. I checked the finished product in the mirror. I looked like some sort of busboy; all that was missing was the little bowtie. Mr. Silver hadn't really told me much about the track so I didn't know maybe he would want me to serve food or something. It was strange to me that I was simply accepting all of this the way I was. And I turned that over in my mind for a few minutes. Finally, I came up with the simple solution that there was no other way it could work out. I was enjoying the experience and pledge to serve or not, I figured that it wouldn't be that hard to extricate myself and return to my old life with a secret adventure behind me. There were still a couple hours of light when we left. The evening was clear and still. A faint outline of an early moon could be made out on the horizon. We made the drive in silence. The track itself looked to be nothing more than a large football field surrounded by an oval. On one stretch were a row of low buildings, which I assumed to be the stables, and on the side we parked on was a long building several stories high fronted by a grandstand. We entered not through the main gate, but a side door marked 'private', following a hallway to a set of elevators. Several decorations lined the hall and it was neatly done up in a deep crimson and green. The elevators, Mr. Silver informed me, led up to the boxes above the general seating area where his company and several others that sponsored the races could relax and conduct business in a more civilized atmosphere. The box itself was nothing all that special. The furnishings were comfortable with some tables and couches off to one side and an open area with a short bar on the other. Facing the track itself was a large window that ran the whole length of the room. A counter a few feet off the floor was set off the window lined with leather backed bar chairs. True to my suspicions Mr. Silver told me to go to the bar and fix up a couple of drinks. Not being very experienced in this he had to run me through it step by step. He then told me to present myself for inspection. Not having any idea what this exactly was, I stood in front of him self-consciously. He walked around me once and then again returning to his spot in front of me. "It is fine but we need to make a few adjustments." Reaching in a black bag that lay on the table he pulled out a black bowtie that had a strap with a clasp. It wasn't the cheap clip on that I was used to. "Now let's see," he said, "First we remove this." His hands moved to the buttons on my shirt and undid them one by one pulling it off my arms. Moving behind me he put the tie around my neck and fastened it. Again he positioned himself in front of me and looked my up and down. "Hmm. Something is not quite right here." He pondered. "Ah, I see it now." He moved around behind me again placing his hands on either hip and slowly started to pull down my pants. On the backside he pulled them down so that my entire ass was revealed, while on the front he took them to where the top of my cock was almost showing. In the rear they seemed to cup underneath my buttocks supporting them and on the anterior the support was my bulge itself holding up the works. Add in the support from the belt and it was easy to walk around like this. Even if I sat down and got back up everything stayed in the came place. The races were about to begin so he led me to the window. Dusk had fallen and powerful floodlights illuminated he grandstand. It seemed an entirely different place now, an oasis of light in the blackness and we were looking down on the whole of it. The row of boxes were all in a straight line so we could not see into any of them and more importantly to me no one could see into ours. It was possible, I supposed for someone to look up into our box from the stands and see me standing up there in the window, but Milt assured me not to worry. A ring of trumpets sounded from the loudspeaker and in a couple seconds the gates slammed open releasing the pent up energy of the horses. They were off and the crowd started shouting. The hoofs thundered in a beat that shook the very building. Just then I felt a cool hand caressing my ass. I knew that this might be to come and I swallowed heavily, not sure that I was ready for it. First one side and then another felt his grip as he kneaded. I instinctively arched my back the slightest bit, which had the effect of parting my crack as if in invitation. I heard a little snap behind me and then wetness and a finger searching my asshole, searching slowly, penetrating slightly and then pulling away. I bent forward bit by bit raising my bottom more. A finger entered me and my penis jumped in my pants. A barely audible gasp fell from my lips. Pulling out and then back in, I was penetrated for the first time. My fear rose with every second. There was simply no way that I would be able to take it. Why was I dong this? I wanted to stop, but couldn't. The finger retreated and then brought more wetness, searching the outer rim of my hole. Every time he took his hand away I was sure that I was going to be pierced by the sharp point of his spear. I wanted it now badly. Please, let it not hurt me too bad, please let me take it. My hips started writhing as he worked my balls gently as well. I realized suddenly that if he was not careful I was going to be overcome and go over the edge. I didn't want to lose my nerve. There was no way I could take him after I had cum. "Fuck me," I begged throatily. My voice cracked as it escaped. A deep laugh behind me... "You are new are you not?" "Yes Sir, Please fuck me." I pleaded as a wave of ecstasy flowed over me. He had hit a special place and a small stream of my seed escaped. Hands were taken away. My love hole pucker open, fondled balls hung loosely, the pants hung now at my thighs. The room was in silence. Time stood still. The little snap sound came from behind again and then pressure on my back forcing me forward, my face inches from the glass. Down below in the field a horse crossed the finish line and a row of cheers filtered up from the crowd. Then he penetrated me. It wasn't fast or hard or deep, just the matter of an inch no more, but it seemed miles. The build up had brought me to a nervous state and as much as I wanted to accept him, my body resisted the invasion. A spike of pain hit me hard and I lurched forward into the glass, away from the intruding spike. He held me on him, following my movements, going no further into my depths but not relinquishing his gain. A constant alarm of seeming agony took over and again I sought escape but he managed to ride me still, as if he were a bronco rider of old. My breaths came in short gulps, but slowly a miracle seemed to happen. The pain drifted away from insane to merely intolerable and then an ache. He inched forward a bit and I jumped again this time getting almost entirely away. He matched me with a thrust, which may have gone further than he intended. It broke new ground with a vengeance and I called out in sharp agony. We paused. The snap sound again, followed by him pulling back and then entering again with an added coolness. This time he did not stop at all just very slowly took me one millimeter at a time until he had plumbed my depths holding himself there. A ridiculous thought passed through my mind, "buried to the hilt with Milt," and I giggled. He questioned me, but I shook my head shyly. It was a release though, that little laugh. For now my ass truly accepted his cock and just in time, because he was done with the slow breaking in part of my lesson. Now it was time for the full-length slow violin bowlike motion. He would pull slowly out and then drive back the whole way. Every single time was like a new penetration. My insides closed up around the retreating intruder and then had to relinquish ground anew on each offense. Every time he would hit the point of full impact a little moan would leave my lips. I do not think that there is a single thing that I could consciously do about this. He would hit my spot and I would have a cascade of nervous reaction fire off through my body ending with "oh" or "uh" or "mmhm" always in a soft semi girlie tone. Occasionally, it would heat up down there, but he seemed to have a good sense for when that was happening because he would pull back and I would hear the now familiar snap before he started thrusting anew. This happened a few times and I started to think. Oh my, he is going to fuck me forever. A new race was set up and about to begin. Something about the races seemed to get him going. Maybe it was from memories gone past. It occurred to me that I certainly wasn't the first boy deflowered at this window. Whatever it was when the trumpet sounded this time and the horses were off it was like he was in the race as well. Something like the night before when I had a desperate desire to cum during that one music video. Mr. Silver threw away all vestiges of his humanity and just started fucking me like a wild beast. He forgot that it was my unbroken behind that he penetrated with such vigor, that I was new and fragile. He made low guttural noises and thrust hard and deep. The pain came screaming back at me and I squirmed, every part of my body wanting to escape but the sheer torrent, plunge after plunge did not stop. I could not get away. I looked to the horses. Something, anything outside of myself, but found I could not see through the window anymore. Our reflection now seemed to take the foreground and I saw behind me a wild animal fulfilling his basest desire. With that he planted himself deep within me and burst his manly seed up into me. A cheer rose up from the crowd below, which was very surreal in itself. I knew it was for the horses. Maybe that was why he had the urgency. All I knew at that moment was he had stopped shoving that fire hot poker up inside me. I basked in the sense of relief. He popped himself out and stood there breathing heavily. Immediately I had a feeling of emptiness up inside of me that I didn't know yet, but would follow me around for the next day and might have longer if something hadn't intervened. Not knowing what to do, I reached back and felt my hole. I expected it to be opened the size of a quarter, but while loose to the touch it was actually closed. It was very wet from I assumed lube and possibly spit. I was overcome with emotion and did the only natural thing I could. I fell to my knees the pants now around my ankles, and put my face down to his shoes kissing his feet and thanking him. He turned and walked to the bar and poured himself something to drink. I followed on my hands and knees, kind of shuffling my feet for a bit and then losing my pants altogether. Next he went over to one of the couches and lay down on his back with his left leg hanging over the side. His pants were open. He had pulled them up over his behind after he was done, but he hadn't closed up the front. All was silent and I kneeled at his side for a minute or two listening to his breathing pattern return to normal. Looking at his cock glistening and returning to a flaccid state, I decided that it was my duty to clean him up since I had been responsible for the mess. I crawled back over to the bar area and got a cloth and small bucket of warm water and then crawled back over to him. There wasn't really a reason I could place for all of the crawling; just that it seemed to feel right. The rug was a nice plush and it was comfortable on my knees. I guess it was just respect for the man that had done me a favor and broken me in. I know it may sound strange since it seems like I was the one doing him a favor giving up my ass and all, but that was how I felt just then. I took the warm, moist rag and worked it slowly over his groin area first and then refreshing it I wiped his cock and balls. They reacted to my touch and he got semi-hard but not the whole way. He seemed to be asleep or so relaxed that he was about as close as one could get. When he was clean to my satisfaction, I began to inspect his genitals thoroughly. His legs were covered with a very light hair, but when you got up to the scrotum the covering was more full. His balls were like baby bird eggs nestled gently in their pouch. Where each hair came out was a tiny bump, but aside from those and a few small veins the surface was smooth. His penis now back to its softness was like a fatty finger with bigger veins on it. When I stroked it gently with my finger it reacted and underneath the skin it came to life moving around and expanding. The tip or helmet of his cock was the most interesting to me. The slit in the middle formed the edges of two tender lobes on the underside. Where they meet I came to find out was the most wonderfully sensitive spot. I learned in time to make a man cum just by working that little bit with my tongue. It is amazing to take a fully rigid member and flick it with my tongue on the under side doing nothing else and to be deluged with a fire hose blasts of cum. It always makes for a pretty facial, which the man enjoys perhaps as much as the orgasm itself and the act of me desperately trying to get all of the delectable juice into my mouth afterwards. I stared at his sweet cock for a while and then laying my head sideways on his left leg, which was supported by the couch, I slipped his soft member into my mouth and sucked it slowly like a pacifier. Spent from all of the activity of the past couple days. I drifted off to sleep. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 04 AUTHOR'S NOTE This is a story about a young man exploring his sexuality and finding out he is a gay submissive. It is rather long and not all about sex so if you are looking for a quickie you might want to look elsewhere. This is a fantasy. All characters are over the age of 18. Please enjoy. ------------------- I awoke to the faint hum of the refrigerator. Swaddled in a down comforter on the floor, I lay on my side atop the soft plush carpet. It reminded me of sleepovers at Grandma's place. The room was cooler than during the day, but I was sung as could be. Hugging the pillow, I repositioned myself on my side and stretched my legs out. There was a tenderness between my legs in the back but not really a pain. Reaching back I delicately ran my fingers over the area. It was soft to the touch and it took almost no pressure to slip a little ways inside. I worked around a little bit and had the feeling like when you have an itch for a long time and you finally give in. Come to think of it there really was an itch of a sort, but I was not sure if it was real or some kind of psychological thing. For more comfort I turned facing the floor and brought my knees up to my belly, ass pointed straight up in the air, and reached underneath massaging my love hole with the flat of my fingers. This position alternately brought to mind a girl rubbing her vagina and myself waiting for a guy to come up behind me to take what was offered. I checked over my shoulder to see if my host was watching. Part of me wanted him to wake and to try again, even though I knew there was no way that I could take another pounding like that so soon; but, no matter, for he was still sleeping. I rubbed gently in a slow rhythmic fashion and let my mind drift off. What were the other men going to be like? Tom had several I think. Had he said how many? I wasn't sure. This was Monday and they both said something about next weekend. I was to meet them individually. How many was that? This entire line of questioning was getting me nowhere, but it felt good to just free associate there warm and cozy in the dark, alone just me and my thoughts. I knew the real questions were why and did I really want to do this. Every time I stepped out it seemed that I went a little bit further. How far did I want to take it and what was further on down the line. My mind was so confused on the issue that I just had to follow what my body had been telling me. Just the night before I had been trying desperately to pleasure myself to women and while I found it pleasurable, when it came down to it and I wanted to cum I had stuffed a fake penis in my mouth and then exploded. Maybe it was just the newness, or the sense of taboo, that I was doing things that I shouldn't and being a naughty boy. Possibly, all of this would wear off with the shine of newness. Then again, I thought, there was a very real possibility that what was titillating me was all this fear of what might be happening next; the anticipation of events to come, extreme in their nature that would push the bounds of my existence. There was the possibility that it could all go to far though, and I was losing control. The only thing that was keeping me on the track was the idea that if anything got too weird that I could always jump ship. There was a large part of me that didn't believe I was going to go on through to the end anyways. Sure these last couple days had been wild, but I would come down to earth and just dump it all and return to my studies and walk on with life. Didn't older people always reminisce on the wildness of their youth especially the college days? It was always said part in fond memories, but also with a sense of relief that they did not have to go back there again and live it that very moment. Was it because they were old and did not have the energy to truly live now? If that was the case then surely I should grab the bull by the horns as they would say and just go wild while I could. It felt good. At least it had so far and there as no real reason to stop now, nothing that could not be taken back at a later time. -- Were these doubts that I was feeling that night? I am sure that they were, but now reflecting back on the past at that time, it had more the effect of cheering myself on. Much like the friend who always gets you into trouble cajoling you to make that dangerous jump or in a way like the delinquent Israel talking the lot of us into toilet papering. What was playing out was not just a sexual adventure, but a continuation of my life as I had lived it. Under the shadow and direction of others: Go to college, take this job, join this club. All of my life there had been an order from an outside source and me following that order. It was perhaps the one thing in the world that I truly excelled at. Following was easy. It took all of the responsibility off of myself. That man in the video booth had commanded me to suck his cock; it wasn't me that wanted it. Tom had lured me with booze into a sexual encounter and then followed that up by taking me to his office, his position of power and had his way with me there; It couldn't have been me wanting to have his hands on my head guiding his cock in and out of his mouth. At that moment laying balled up on the floor in a position to accept the next man, I would have been hard pressed to come up with a single decision I had made myself that entire day, and yet, there I lay on the floor content wondering what was planned for me next. Not was I to do, but was to be done to me. -- The next day went by quickly. Mr. Silver had a pressing engagement so he woke me early in the morning and we packed off back to the campus. I was kind of groggy, leaning against the window and watching the trees go by. It was another hazy day, the sort that makes you want to curl back up in bed or watch mindless game shows all day. We didn't even have any hanky panky in the car. Not that I would have minded. The drive that coursed through the Mr. Silvers of the world was simply focused on another goal at that moment. You could almost see him working out the details of some business deal. Yesterday was about manipulating me, today there was some other fellow, but he was about to lose something else. I had only lost my virginity. That brought my mind back to the physical side of things and the dull ache below. I kind of sat sideways in the seat to keep more comfortable, not that it was really painful, just I seemed to notice it more when I sat right on it. Hopefully the guy tonight would be ok with leaving me just suck him or whatever. Oh, the guy tonight, while we were preparing to drive back to the campus, Milt had run down the plans for me that day. He was mentally scratching it of his list of things to do that day and when he was done explaining himself that was the end of it. It was not to be brought up again. I was to await a call around the same time this afternoon and the next man would tell me where to go. It seems he was the owner of some club and I was going to go down there and keep him company. More than likely I wasn't going to be needed until evening but he said to be ready for whenever a call came in. A good boy was always punctual and ready. I didn't know about all that, but I would listen for the phone while I chilled out and probably got some more sleep in the room. I really had been drinking too much lately and my body just needed a little break. I guess that was a little rebellious of me not being all Yes Sir in my mind but I really hadn't bought the whole way into the program just yet and I needed some time to myself where I didn't have to be on pins and needles. Milt dropped me off at my place with a "see you Saturday" so at least I knew when the gathering was supposed to be. He had given me a card like a credit card that I could use at a shop downtown. He said to grab myself a nice outfit for the party and to think fine dining when I got it. I thanked him and headed up to my room. The place was a mess. It's funny how you can live in total squalor and not even notice. OK it wasn't that bad by college standards, but my Mother would have spent the whole damn day in there cleaning up. It took me around fifteen minutes, but was just about as good. The television kept me company for through the afternoon as I dozed off and on. All around me in the other rooms guys were coming and going. No one bothered me though. Since I had gotten the night job it was like no one even lived in this room. It was a little odd to be playing hooky again on my classes, but I had decided that one week wasn't going to kill anyone and I deserved a break. The phone didn't ring until almost seven p.m. At two I had started looking over at the phone. By four I was dressed and ready to go out. At commercial breaks I would get up and wander around sometimes going over and looking at the phone. Six o'clock rolled around and I started to think he wasn't going to call me. A strange sense of relief came over me and I started planning to not go, which really meant nothing since I had no other plans. Tonight would just be hanging out watching TV. Maybe I would make a round on the floor and see if anything was going on here. It had been a while since I had hung out with any one my age. Perhaps I would catch up on old times and just leave this notion of weird sex behind. I kept getting just about to the door to leave and walk down the hall when I would think about some little thing. It was I'll go right after this part of the game show I was watching to see who would win the round or I had better check up on my homework for that one class. That one I cannot get too far behind in. At any rate I was there when the phone rang. The sound made my skin get all goose pimply. There was a very real quick mental dialogue as to whether to answer it, but after about five rings my and darted out and put the receiver up to my ear. "Hello?" I asked into empty space. "Hey, This is Mark from the club. We are about to get going down here. Why don't you come on down. You know where you are going? You take the B bus." Mark sounded a bit younger than the other guys maybe in his thirties. "Ok, Yeah sure I was just about to head out. I mean I'm ready to go I'll see you before long I guess." "Sure thing," Mark said, "Just ask for me at the door I'll tell the guy you are coming. What are you wearing so I can tell him to look for you?" "Umm. Red shirt with blue jeans and a leather jacket," I replied. "OK, yeah that's like half the city. How about you tell him you got the special delivery for me. It's John right?" I said this was true and we hung up. The bus ride was quite a bit like that last time I went down. Mixed in with the feeling that people knew why I was heading downtown was my experience the last time. The scene played through in my mind. The simple word "Kneel" resonated in my mind and I found myself wishing that I were going to visit the man from the booth. If I did would I dare to look at him longingly then pick my own booth and strip down, letting him know that more than my mouth was available now? Would that even be a good idea? The man had seemed very hard. Milt had used me well last night but I also sensed that he was being very careful not to damage me either. Something about the blue collar man told me that he would either not know to go gentle or would truly not care for my well being. It got me thinking that different guys would use me different ways. It seems obvious but it wasn't something that I had explored before. The bus ride was boring so I started to play a game in my mind. As we passed a man on the street I thought about how it would be if he had me suck him or if he tried to take me from behind. He could be rough or gentle. Some the very thought creeped me out to no end and I couldn't even look in their direction. Seriously try it. If you see a weird looking person think about them fucking you. It messes with your brain. Occasionally I would pass a girl. At first I didn't really know how to include them in my little game. My mind already did the automatic "would I fuck her" check whether I actually would or not at this stage I don't know. Probably. But that wasn't the way my mind was working that night. I was after all on the ay to get used by a man. To think of a lady sexually was in a way a losing of my focus, so I played the game this way. I would imagine them walking in on me sucking off their husband. The first lady was about two hundred pounds so it was kind of a funny scene in my mind. It was hard for me to imagine her sexually in any manner. The next girl was a pretty coed and I blushed with shame. Her eyes went right to the bus window the second I thought about sucking her hubby. The windows were tinted so there was little likelihood that she had seen me looking at her, but that split second it was as if she read my mind and I knew right then exactly what it would be like to have her walking in with me kneeling in front of her studly boyfriend, mouthful of cock. A long ride in a vehicle usually ends the same way. You are moving along sometimes at a decent traveling pace, others stuck in traffic and even sometimes you are completely at a halt, which obviously happens quite often on a bus. All of this is natural, but when you are close to your destination and you slow down for that final exit or you pass over the tracks the inertia in your body the whole sense of your motion starts to come to a halt. Children will wake and move around or an old lady will look up suddenly from her reading. I caught a lump in my throat. The club was fashioned from an old warehouse. I don't actually remember the name, but it isn't important they are all the same even when they are different. Twisting passages that seem to go nowhere are all over the place and there are many nooks to hide out in. Most of these are off limits. I got past the bouncer at the door easily and was directed down one of these snaking passages that went around the main room to the control center. At a couple turns I asked someone standing around where to find Mark and they pointed me in the right direction. He was in an office that looked down on the dance floor. If you have seen any old movie where there are a hundred ladies sewing in some factory and they have to run up a set of stairs set into the wall to go up and dare ask the supervisor a question, then you know the place I mean. Mark was as I thought a younger man, one of those guys that would probably look about the same age for a good thirty years. He had an infectious grin and light curly hair. He wore glasses but he didn't look like he needed them. The one thing that stood out to me the first time I met him was that he wore shorts, long and baggy for the time. The weather was nice for this time of year, but no one was wearing shorts around. They weren't just any set of shorts either. You could tell that he had them for quite sometime, the old comfortable pair that you always throw on first. Faded here and there but especially in the crotch. It was like someone had tie-dyed in the outline of his cock and it was pretty impressive I must say. There was also a hole a couple inches long just underneath this. You couldn't see anything just his thigh, but it was an odd thing for a guy running a place like this to be wearing. He was so laid back that it fit him and no one seemed to question it. Things indeed were getting into the swing of it. There were over a hundred people down below us on the dance floor alone. The music had a bouncing driving energy, which flowed in waves throughout the crowd as they writhed in time. Right in the corner of the huge dance floor about twenty feet off the ground was a platform built out of the wall that resembled a private balcony at an opera house. The only access to this are was directly through the office. In it the magic of the club was brought to life. At the moment just a steady recorded track was being laid down, but when the energy really started pumping Mark would go out on the "pulpit" as he called it and spin songs and generally cheer the crowd on. On the dance floor itself were four platforms that were about eight or so feet in diameter and raised a good five feet off the ground. They were cylindrical cages with hollow aluminum bars. From time to time a bouncer called he selectman would go through the crowd picking out hotties to go up into the cages. Being the selectman was a very nice job to have since all the girls wanted the attention and would offer all sorts of favors to be put up in the booths. It was time for Mark to head out on the pulpit and he took me through the door with him. The small area was crowded in with electric amplifiers mixers, tape decks, tons of songs premixed and single all laid out in a very organized manner. There was not exactly a pulpit like you see in a church but there was a shelf about three feet off the ground that ran the whole outer circle and a speakers stand that lay atop it so from below he looked much like a preacher when he was up there working. I was directed under the part of the shelf where the speaker stand was. There was a tiny stool there for me to sit on. Tom finally was ready and he called out to the masses, who roared back at him. Somewhere between conductor and head cheerleader his job was to keep pushing up the energy level making quick changes and interjecting in funny little quips here and there usually laced with sexual innuendo. My job was clear as well, so when he had a record on he would walk up to the stand and I would caress his cock through the shorts. The material was a kind of heavy satin and fleece. His package was truly a gift to behold. All of the contours showed in detail now that he was almost fully erect. Beneath the copper bronze color his tool shined through as if a sculptor had worked his final masterpiece. Every ridge, every turn, the firm helmet cascaded away to delicate tip. The length of the shaft ran straight down but with a few inches left it turned slightly to the left and up as if arching out at my now waiting mouth. My fingers reached up through the convenient hole massaging the head and pulling it delicately out into plain view. It was like the shorts themselves were growing a cock. I would take a little out and lick and kiss the flesh. Sometimes it felt right to just smack it up against my cheeks or rub my lips over the sweet meat. Every minute or two I would start the process of removing his gun from its holster but his duty would call and off he would run to put on a song or set up some controls for lighting. The prize would retreat into its shelter and then he would return. Never did I get to see the wholeness of him. The process of discovery turned into a sort of game for me. After starting the expected way I tried different strategies. There was the no hands method where I would put my lips into the hole and in a weird game of bobbing for apples try to find his cock and pull it out. Several times I attempted this only to have him walk off before I could even get him though the hole. When I caught a hold I would just keep his whole head in my mouth lathering it with my tongue for fear that I would lose it. Sometimes I would not touch his penis with my fingers at all but grab either side of the hole and direct it over his cock. The hole and his cock were of close the same size so I could run the material up and down the shaft and create some friction. Eventually this just led to me sticking his cock about a finger length out the hole and grabbing the rod around the clothed part I would jack him and suck him off. This was the most of his cock I could see at once. One time I even tried to just go up his shorts from the bottom. They were pretty baggy and I could make out his heavy balls, but it was difficult to reach up in and the best that I would get was a few licks and some huffs of his manly odor. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 04 Mark must have been amused with this game, because from time to time he would look down with that trademark grin of his. I would catch myself looking up at him from time to time looking for approval and then when he looked down it was as if I had been caught being a peeping tom and I would quickly put my eyes back down and concentrate ever more on try to please his cock. From time to time a girl would come in from his office and relay some news about the goings on of the place, usually having to do with problems with staff or supplies. She never really let on that she knew that I was down there. I suspected that I would be rather hard to see under the shelf since when I was doing anything nasty Mark was standing in front of me and the lighting wasn't all that good out on the pulpit. Either way it was getting me kind of excited thinking that she might know what I was doing out here. My mind went back to the coed that I had see on the bus and how she looked at me in a way that I thought she knew my perversion. It was the same feeling of edgy exhilaration of being on the cusp of being found out or caught that kept my heart beating a step or two faster, that and this truly beautiful masterpiece that I was getting to work on. Many songs had played through since we came out here. There was no real way for me to keep a count, but I knew that I had to have been at this for almost an hour now, much of which was spent waiting for him to return so I could gat another shot at. In those periods where he would have to go off to work momentarily I would feel like a baby chick waiting for its mother to alight with some life giving grub. My patience for this ran thin and finally I threw out all sense of propriety and when he came back I just undid the fastening of his shorts and slid them down to reveal his fully hard pecker. The shorts fell to his ankles so there would be some explaining to do if the assistant came out here now. Mark screamed out to the crowd, "That's what we were waiting for!" in his biggest rock n roll voice. It made absolutely no sense whatsoever, but the dancers were soaked in sweat, sex and shots of sambuca to care about things making sense. He reached down and pushed his hard meat into my mouth rocking back and forth. I had to look up at him and this time instead of retreating I held his gaze. The curly hair was backlit by a green light giving it a kind of halo effect. The smile he always wore transformed into that of some heavy metal god and he worked out the beat with nodding his head back and forth while he penetrated my mouth. The song had a fast beat and we matched it. I say for even though it was him generating most of the force of the action there was much that I had to do to actively accept his thrusts. He was changing up from just using my mouth to going deep into the recesses of my throat. On the slower drawn out notes of the song he would do a slow long stroke that pushed past my choke zone and I would gag. As the song sped up he would pump quick micro thrusts along the flat of my tongue. It got so that I could tell from the rhythm of the song what he was about to do next and adjust to his movements. My breathing, suction with my lips, whether I flattened out my tongue to allow him deeper all just fell in line with the music. The song switched out and he leaned down between tracks. "Have you been sucking cock long?" he asked in that kind of loud at a concert voice. "Not really. I just started a bit ago a few times you know." I said sheepishly. "Well then you're a fucking natural," he beamed. I flushed with a sense of pride, a natural cocksucker. For sure, I was doing pretty well at taking him deep when it was called for. Better than could be expected for a rookie. There wasn't any fear in me when he was about to slip past and while I gagged it didn't really go on for long. It must be all in my mind. Luck was on my side in that regard I guess. The new song came on. It was a popular one that Mark seemed to like quite a bit. He started riding my mouth like he was playing an instrument. My mouth was really juicing up good now and I could taste the precious precum flowing. I think if there is any one thing about sucking cock that I really love, from the textures, how alive the penis is when its in my mouth, the reactions of the man using me, that one thing has to be when he really gets going and my mouth gets the precum cocktail. The taste is so heavenly and salty sweet. It cannot be described. When I am about to go down on a man anymore I swear I get that flavor back in my mouth even before I start in on sucking him. Kind of like a residue of my memory. Of course, once the real stuff flows it is so fresh that my own juices really start flowing. There is always a wet spot in my jeans after a guy cums, which I promptly reach down and lick up. I'm not really a big fan of my own cum. I've tried it a few times, but I dine on the precum the whole time I'm jacking off now. The second song faded out and it was time for a slower song. He pulled out to go check on the queue and when he came back to the stand he leaned down. "Just suck my balls the whole song." Some people seem to not like balls, think they are ugly or something, but nothing is further from the truth. They are the very essence of life itself. So receptive to the touch, even the lightest cupping and they will jump up in anticipation. Being the source of cum, they seem to leak the seed right through their membrane. The source of all the best manly musk comes from these sweet hanging bulbs. With great pleasure I dove in on them. In the background the croony love song played. Slow dancers felt one another and swayed slowly. Like them I floated gently with my dance partner, licking, sucking, massaging and cuddling his orbs; careful as always not to offer rough treatment to this most of delicates. My saliva coated the skin, which shimmered in the odd lights of the club. From time to time I would rub my entire face in his groin so before long my face had the same effervescent shine. I would take one of his sweet balls in my mouth and very gently pull away releasing them with a pop and then move to the next one and back again. Above me Mark reached down and started to make long stroke on his eight-inch shaft. Starting at the tip he would pull down to the base stretching the skin tight over his member and then work back up to the top and squeeze the head. Maybe ten or so times he tugged in this manner and then he made his decision. Keeping the same motion but now faster his cock seemed to grow with every stroke. When he hit the base it was as if hidden inches within him were straining to reach out. All of this was happening just inches above me. His fist would smack my nose on the down strokes as he started in faster and when he really got going I just held his balls both in my mouth and waited for my next instruction. No words for when he got sufficiently close he grabbed my hair with his left hand and pointed that beautiful missile right at my open mouth and planted a huge shot of cum right in my mouth. I had never seen anything like that before. The white jet exploded with such force that had he not been holding my head I would have dodged back in fear. I could feel the hot wetness of his seed hit the top of my mouth and then seep down onto my waiting tongue. Another stream of warm joy leapt forward and I accepted. Every time a pulse marked my waiting orifice I would utter a tiny moan. My cock was throbbing at the same beat in a kind of dry sympathy orgasm. The last drop finally hung off of the eyelet, slipping down toward my mouth by the fraction of an inch. I followed the path the whole way down until it passed the threshold and was treated to a flash of his flavor. Finished with me, he reached down pulled up his shorts, fastened them and then patted me on the head, going back to work. He told me there was a room behind the office that I could crash in and there were a couple bottles back there. I could help myself if I liked. -- The back room could be described in one room. Cool. Some people just seem to figure out how set a place up or maybe they have lots of girlfriends do it for them. It was like a mini rock n roll hall of fame back there with posters and autographed pictures. There was even a bong autographed by a famous pop star of the day. The couches were the kind you fell back into. I grabbed a bottle of bourbon and launched myself into one. The remote was right there on the table so I turned on the TV and it was playing some psychedelic video. The kind with all the streamers, bright and contrasting lights, spirals and waves. My mind just let go and I zoned out, falling into a soothing trance. Time slipped by. All I could hear was the knocking depths of the dance music bass through the walls. I could never quite make out the sound. It was like a giant was at the entrance of a long cave beating on a heavy door and then every few minutes he would switch and another giant would beat in a slightly different way. I wasn't into drugs or anything but the whiskey started having its effect on me coupled with the bizarre images assaulting me, and the deep drone in the background. I was transported to a different dimension. You have probably been there before. There is kind of a space and you sit back and see with this clarity. Everything seems like it was so obvious all along and you were a fool not to know. What exactly you know isn't information that is: a. Available. b. Something you care about. There is senselessness in knowing what it is you are thinking, because it is so clear that it does not need to be put into words. It is the place your mind goes back to when you know times were somehow better once. That feeling that once things were right when now they are wrong. I stared at the shapes on the screen and they formed up into objects in my mind. Before me was a sort of living dream. For a while I couldn't really place what the images were. There would be a fleeting sense and then I would lose it. It was as if something really important was being transmitted to me and in this heightened state I would finally 'get it'. The current pattern was a spiral. The type that you cant really tell if it is going away from you or towards you. It drew me into it so at first I thought that it was like a drain siphoning away from me, and I was right, but I was also wrong. In the center there was a circle, but it looked like it could be a separate object in itself, something passing down the tunnel into eternity. Then it hit me what exactly it was that was unfolding before me, and why it could look like it was either coming or going. The object in the center was the head of a penis and depending on your perspective, whether you were the one giving or taking the penis, the tunnel would be heading away from or towards you. In my case being the cocksucker I was the head of the cock was heading down the tunnel that was my throat for an eternity. My throat felt stretched as if it were physically being rooted out by this magic helmet. Down and down it went a never ending tool of love filling me forever. It got me so horny that I could not stand it. The Queen of England could have been sitting right there and I still would have whipped it out and gone town. There was just this overpowering need to cum. So full and fresh was this feeling of being planted, diving endlessly, never reaching the root. My pants were stripped off and I stood right in front of the screen, jacking my cock vigorously and within seconds I came in a huge blast. This first shot was insane, literally a two-inch long stream of jizz shooting through the air like a mini torpedo. It must have been almost all of my reserves, because even though I felt a few more waves of orgasm almost nothing came out after that. On the floor in front of me there was a wet landing pad in the rug, looking comically like an explanation point. I bent down and rubbed the head of my penis on the rug where the dot would have been, but it did no good. Spent I retired to the couch again, leaving my pants on the floor, and curled into a little ball. I just felt clean. Everything inside of me good or bad had just been expelled and there wasn't a care in the world. Gently, I drifted off. -- When a person is in full-blown party mode they either cannot realize how loud they are being or they simply do not care. Rikki Greggs was no different. He was a self-styled heavy metal hero, having had a few gigs at the local joint. Thin with long black hair that framed his lean angular face, long dragon tattoos lined both arms. Excess was Rikki's religion. Everything he did had to be at the next level. If you gave him a bike he would try the most dangerous jump. Many times people would give him a dare and just sit back and wait for the show. Tonight he was flying high on whiskey and cocaine. When they barged into the room I stirred from my gentle sleep, but I was so comfortable that I did not move. The plush cushions of the couch held me neatly in their grasp and I had no wish to have them relinquish their hold. My buzz kept me two levels below cool. I feigned sleep as the chaos enveloped the room. "Hey man, where's that stuff at," Rikki said in a rapid nasal drone, "let's hit it quick. Did you see those chicks man? Yeah man she told us to head over, lets hit this shit and fire on over to get some. Bitches man. Can't get enough." Sniff. The couch dipped down as someone sat at the other end. Bottles clinked and then there was a sound of air bubbles flowing through water. "Hey man," chuckled Rikki, "Dude, check it out. Little dude over here don't got no pants on. Fucking right must have been out of it man." There was a long exhale followed by, "Oh yeah. That's the new boy. Tommy sent him over, you know how that is." This voice I recognized as Mark's. Another long draw on the bong followed by a 20 second pause and then, "No shit man? He like that huh. So you got some bitches right here? Ha ha." A wave of excitement came over me as I tried desperately to control my breathing. What I couldn't control was my little cocklet, which twitched and started to grow. Luckily curled up in the fetal position as I was it wasn't evident to them that I was awake, aware and aroused. Safe as I seemed, I let myself reflect back on Mark's beautiful cock and how he had fed me his cum, the power of his explosion into my oral cavity and the sweet taste of his cum. Involuntarily, I licked my lips at this thought, showing the slightest hint of a grin. Little did I know that my subterfuge was unsuccessful. Rikki had spotted the little lip action and took it as an invitation. He raised a finger to his lips and mouthed the words "he's awake" to Mark across the table. I felt a shifting on the seat beside me and then the weight was released. All was silent in the room. I listened more intently wondering exactly what was going on. There was a sense of some impending doom that I could not shake. Deep inside I wanted to move, but my only hope was to lay still. My heart beat heavy in my chest. Silently standing in front of me, Rikki undid his belt and took down his fly. He pulled his pants down but not entirely off since he had not removed his boots. Letting some spit pool from his mouth into his had he started to work his cock in to a steely hardness. He admired himself as he stroked. There had been a lot of bitches fed this piece of meat and there was never enough. Rikki didn't care if it was a girl or a guy who was taking his cock. Sure the girls were pretty and what he wanted, but there was something powerful about giving it too a pussy boy who had given up his manhood. He liked to make them feel it and know their place when he was sticking it to them. This little punk beneath him would be squealing good for sure. And who cared anyways, the rougher you gave it to them the more they squirmed, but at the end they would thank you and ask for it again later. It wasn't Rikki's fault bitches were bitches. They were made for him to use and use them he would. My first sense of what was going on was two hands grabbing my ankles and dragging me around on my back so my ass was facing the edge of the couch. For a few seconds I still tried to keep up my façade of sleeping, but when my legs were raised up and spread apart my eyes opened. Rikki scooted my ankles up over his shoulder, kneeling on the couch. His added weight pushed me even further back into the cushions. My eyes scanned his chest, not overly muscular but cut, where a silver cross hung from a chain. Further down a thin line of hair split down the cent of his flat belly. Then pointing at me was a very long but very thin hard cock, curved up very so slightly like a scimitar. This long sharp spear was pointed at my hole. He pushed forward into me. The penetration had begun. At first there was no feeling at all, simply a pressure and then the head popped through. I was so thankful that it wasn't horribly painful maybe I was loose enough now to take it. He delved deeper and deeper, soon passing the point that Mr. Silvers had reached, and kept on going. When he reached full hilt my body had tensed fully, my toes curled, the small of my back and hamstrings fully contracted. I felt every inch in side of me. At that moment I could have closed my eye and painted a picture of his cock so much a part of me it was. The first full breach had taken about ten seconds. Now deep inside me he repositioned himself leaning a bit more weight on me and instead of making a thrusting motion he began to bounce up and down, letting the cushion do some of the work. His hardness rotated around my innards and on every push down I got a shock of electricity up my spine. My mouth gaped and all that would come were short breaths in time. He rode me in this fashion for a couple of minutes; just silently bouncing creating a hollow that he would be abusing in short order. At first, I had my hands up on my thighs like I could push back and hold off a bit and gain a little control, but as the motions got more comfortable I lay my hands by my side. Then he switched it up on me. Leaning back and gathering his legs underneath him he moved his hands down to where my inner thigh met my waist. "Ok, you ready to get fucked boy?" Rikki queried. "Now you look at me while you take it bitch I want to see you squirm." Nervously I lifted my eyes to his. He hovered above me, bloodshot and intense like some sort of demon. Wincing with expectation I tied to relax myself. It did not occur to me to tell him how I wanted it or even that I could. The next part would be rough. Could I take it? He started by pulling his long pecker the whole way to the head, peering down on himself as if to get the measure and then he started long deep thrusts, so regular that you could time a clock by it. Tick, tock take a cock. I grimaced and tried to slip my ass away time he pierced me, but there was no escape. My eyes stayed fixed on the look of evil glee glaring down upon me. Moans now came from deep within me over and over. His cock started heating up and then I really started to feel it. My only hope was to ride along with him and make him cum. "Oh fuck me, fuck me," I called out. "I need your sweet cum up in my ass, please fill me up. Oh I'm such a little pussy fuck ... mee ... more." Rikki took it up to another gear and started hammering me to 120 time. I could tell because he was growling out a metal standard and pounding me like a tremolo. I couldn't take it any more the pain was overwhelming. "Cum, please cum. I need it," I begged my raving steed and he obliged. There was no way for me really to tell he was cumming from the sensations in my ass, but it was clear how he arched himself and gave a throaty growl pumping my as tow or three times and then thankfully stopping. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 04 It was indeed intense and I didn't regret the experience, but it was so intense that the relief washed over me. I thanked him and turned back to lay in the fetal position on the couch, my fingers going back to check my crack where a moistness was forming, asshole throbbing and in a way kind of itchy. Mark had sat there the whole time watching in a stupor. He had pulled out his vigorous vein and was stroking it slowly, contemplating me and whether he had the energy for another go. Certainly if he had walked over and offered his cock I would have jumped on it sucking him off with a mixture of delight and fear that if I didn't it too might head up my ass. I was far too sore and even fresh the sheer thickness terrified me. Seeming to read my mind he got up and went to a pile of blankets in the corner throwing one over me and then lay down on his own couch. Beside me the fucking rocker had finished up his smoke., got up threw on his jacket and proceeded to head out. "Gotta check on those chick man. I'll catch you later," he said to Mark, then turning to me, "Your welcome for the fuck bitch," and walked out. I closed my eyes in no mood for reflection and crashed for the night. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 05 AUTHOR'S NOTE This is a story about a young man exploring his sexuality and finding out he is a gay submissive. It is rather long and not all about sex so if you are looking for a quickie you might want to look elsewhere. This is a fantasy. All characters are over the age of 18. Please enjoy. ------------------- The next morning when I got up no one was around. On the coffee table was a note: The boss says that the way things work are changing a bit. He likes to mix things up. There is no one to see you today so rest up. Tomorrow just follow your ordinary routine, classes and all that. Someone in our group will approach you. You will know it is the right person because they will call you a 'sissy gurl'. Chill out a little or whatever if you want the door will lock behind you when you leave. See you Saturday. After reading this I had mixed feelings. The last few days had been pretty crazy so a day off would be nice. It would give me time to kind of come down and look at things from fresh eyes. The 'sissy gurl' thing kind of bothered me. Yes I was a small guy, would have been petite for a girl almost, but I wasn't actually a girl. How was someone going to come up and say that too me when I was out in public anyways. Another thing was all of this scheduling of my time. I was allowed to be free today, but tomorrow I was to go to classes and be ready for someone to come out of nowhere and just do what they wanted. Something in me wanted to rebel, to pick up a phone and tell someone off just for the sake of standing my ground, but here I was alone with no number to call except maybe work and Tom wouldn't be in until much later. Well I had today to myself anyway and I had no plans. I lay back and shut my eyes, so comfortable that I really didn't want to do anything. My mind wandered back to the night before, the long session with Mark's beautiful cock and then the thankfully rather short session with the wild man. My ass was still very sore from that incident, but for some reason when I thought about the two experiences back to back I would get more turned on by the hard fucking I took. The way he looked down at me with that knowing smile that he owned me. Like he knew inside that if there was something that I said I wouldn't do he could simply change my mind by doing it to me and I would accept. He knew that I would lie there and take the rough treatment, because he could see into me and the person that I was and my place in the sexual order. I had voluntarily allowed myself to cross the threshold, had passed the borderline and now was resigned to looking back across that line at men who had the rights that I used to have. For the rest of my life when a man had his cock out I would want to pleasure him. That simple fact made me useless to women, because they would want me to want them only. I thought about how easily I had let my boss take my mouth. How could I be trusted in the future to not do the same thing? There was no way that I could be. Hiding what I was at a future job would be almost impossible; I knew it for now I had started looking at the males in my life before the last month or so in a different light. When I looked at my boss from time to time I would wonder about what was in his pants. He would be in a position of power over me, which would make it even harder. Friends that I had in high school that I had never even the slightest thought of sexually if I brought them to mind now it would slip to "I wonder what his cock is like?" The idea turned me on so much that I wished I had my yearbook there right now and instead of picking out girls I would select guys that I would be embarrassed to have know that I was a cocksucker. I would blow them, and then other friends would walk in on me and they would all call me a little fag and I would be on call for them all forever, just kneeling from one to another. The girls that I had lusted for would find out and make fun of me and watch with popcorn and have the guys cum on it and make me eat it up. The fantasizing had driven me into a frenzy. Ordinarily I would have just rubbed one out quick, taking less than a couple minutes, but for some reason, maybe the all too real encounters of late I desperately wanted some real action. I was turning into a little slut. I searched for something that I could do even thinking for a second it might be an idea to go knock on Tom's door and when he opened up just kneel right there in the hall and go to town on him. Finally it hit me. I was downtown. Being downtown meant just one thing. A quick look at the clock told me it was eleven thirty. Surely they were open by now. Throwing on my clothes I looked around the room and spied a couple of bottles of booze. I hadn't really had any intention of drinking that day. The thought that a day off from that too might be good had occurred to me, but I really wanted to loosen up my inhibition for the bookstore. It was pointless going to a place like that and chickening out like I did last time. A few shots and maybe some to spare would be good to set me free. Just No Anal! There was no way I could take another banging, not yet. A lot of guys were just in to being a cocksucker, so I would just say I was like that. On the short bus ride over I wanted to peak my anticipation so I played this game of making a promise to myself how many cocks I would suck. At first it was just two since that was better than the one I had managed before. Three seemed a likely option since a third guy would be bound to find out there was an active cocksucker in the place. If the ride was much longer who knows what number I might have gotten up to, but it stood at five when we reached my stop. The last two men of course I sucked at the same time in my mind. I wanted to be a little ho like I thought of earlier. It was almost lunchtime when I arrived which turned out rather well for my plan. In addition to the clerk, I counted five guys strolling around the racks. Slipping past the clerk's side this time I got to the rack of gay videos, took a quick peek at a cover with a muscular man, naked and erect, licked my lips and went back to the booths. Looking back then forth. I scanned the darkened hallway On the right hand side which I hadn't really explored were about 6 doors a couple were open and 3 had active red lights above the door. Turning to the left I started down the hallway. I had a definite desire to occupy the same booth that I had previously. Before I had skipped the first three booths and gone to the end and come back to the man in the fourth booth. My eyes scanned the light above the booths. The first booth was on, but the next two were off with the light off, mine was on, but the two beyond were off. Disappointed I made a quick decision to go to the end booth and just hang out in there for a minute. All of the open booths were empty and I couldn't make out anyone in the hall so I ended up safely deposited in the last booth. Reaching in my pack I grabbed the bottle I had brought from the club and took a hefty slug, grimaced and then took another even deeper one. I wanted to be nice and loose for this. My eyes and ears adjusted as I crouched in the corner. It was dark enough in here to make out little more than shapes, where in the hall I was easily able to see my hand and make out facial features. Down the hallway I could here the various movies blending together in a cacophony of feminine moans. If I had counted right there were 5 booths with lights on which I assumed meant that the video was on in the booth. I couldn't remember if the light went on in 'my' booth when the movie was on, because I had other things on my mind at the time. Most of the sounds that I heard were girls, but in one I could faintly make out a distinction of a man moaning rhythmically. Was he giving or receiving? What if all of the sounds I heard weren't recorded and some were of actual sex acts. Certainly there were quite a few guys that just came to bust a quick nut to some porn, but hadn't that been what I had intended to do & look where that had led me. The whiskey had warmed me and mellowed me out, but I knew that I couldn't just park here forever, so I popped the top and took a big swig, wiped my mouth and peeped back around the corner. There was a man down at he other end standing in front of what seemed to be an open stall. I waited for him to go in. For the time being I didn't want anyone to see me. Not until I was set up at least. My impatience with the stranger grew, as he would not seem to get out of the hallway. Looking up to the lights, I tried to see if my booth was still occupied. There was no way to tell at this angle. It got too much for me. Fuck it. I shouldered my pack and slipped out into the hall creeping past the empty fifth booth to 'mine' where the door was still closed. Someone being in there was throwing my whole idea off and it was severely bothering me. For some reason it had to be that one. Pressing my ear ever so lightly up against the door I listened within trying to make out the video that was playing and if there was any real action going on in there. I thought I could make out the man moan sounds from this one but they still sounded mixed. Would that even be a good thing? I mean if the guy was into Gay porn he might want to fuck me and I couldn't take that. Reaching back I felt my bum, slipping my finger in the crack and then realizing what I was doing I turned to the right quickly. The man that had been camped in the hall was gone so I was safe. Don't give anyone ideas, I thought in a panic. What to do? I rubbed my crotch a little bit giving me a little jolt of horniness, which mixed with my bit of liquid courage made my next move possible. My fingers balled into a fist, knuckles inches from the door. Bending forward I listened again at the door then lightly knocked three times. Nothing? Maybe someone had put on a movie with time still on it and had finished their business early. It was a reason at least I reasoned. I reached forward to the doorknob and turning it quietly I slowly opened the door. What I would have thought if the situation was turned around I don't know. Trapped in a booth and confronted by a stranger wanting, who knows what, would have made me very nervous. There was the knock though I had that at least. Standing and facing the screen was a rather beefy man. He seemed to be a sort of blue-collar guy, maybe a trucker. Was that the kind of guys that patronized this place? I might grow to like this. His pants where down so the first thing that came to eye was his two heavy cheeks with more than light hair covering them but not gorilla like. His right fist was pumping to video of a large man rather like him taking a younger guy something like me from behind. My mind said run, but my feet were planted as if I was ordered to enter the booth and stay. The man turned back towards with a quizzed look in his eyes. "Oh, my, I'm so sorry. I thought it might be empty. I don't have much money ... thought might ... be left over..." I blurted, stumbling over my words. He just turned back to the screen and continued, but I did notice a definite shift in his stoking speed from hurried to slow and measured. Every second I stood there my excuse, which was already thin, was falling apart. If I lingered to long more explanations would be necessary, but I couldn't, no be honest, didn't want to leave. There wasn't any way that I could actually make out his cock from my angle but judging from the stocky frame of the stud in front of me it had to be something special. I had to see it. The cock was mine and I knew it if only I had the guts to take action. He was waiting for me to make a move, knowing that I would. Swallowing hard, I let the door close behind me and kneeled down behind him. The click of the door prompted him to speed up slightly in his strokes. Kneeling silently, I put my arms behind me, tilted my head back a little and partially opened my mouth. If he were to turn around now there would be no question as to what it was I was there for and hopefully he would take what was offered. Now his right hand moved even faster, at about the speed he was going when I came in. His breaths started getting more shallow. The cheeks of his bottom clenched from time to time as if he were fucking. Wanting to be involved in the action I leaned forward and placed my lips lightly on his backside, brushing them over one cheek and then moving to the other. I started kissing his butt. Deep inside was the earnest hope that he would turn and feed me. It was the plan that I had when I came and now that it seemed to have rolled into motion I wanted to carry it to the very end. I started alternating between little licks and gentle kisses, hoping my escalations would provoke a response and before long they did. The man reached back with is free hand, grabbing the back of my head. Then he shoved his rear back onto my face, pushing my nose and lips right up into his crack. This was more than I had bargained for. The scent was heavy and musky. I pulled back but he had my hair clenched in his fist, riding my face with his ass. "Tongue it boy, lick me," came the gruff voice. There was just no way. I wasn't on the point of retching or anything, but it was all too much for me to take. Taking my hands from behind me, I pushed on his thighs, freeing myself from his grasp. Then leaned back on my haunches. The man turned to me and reached down again with his meaty left hand, grabbed a handful of hair and pushed my head back and down, standing over top of me. The head of his tool was pointed right at my face and he was furiously mashing and pounding away, beckoning the seed of man come forth. He fucked the air just inches above my face. And in one final thrust shoot a big glob of his seed into my right eye. I fell back a little but his hand supported me. The eye burnt and was sealed shut but more came. Splat on my cheek and then some touched my lips. The last bit he literally milked out of his cock in a long stream the pooled on my forehead. It was a very small feeling to huddle on the floor like that with the man's sperm covering my face. With my good left eye I watched him pull up his pants and buckle his belt. Then he fished around in his shirt pocket for a card. "Here." He said in his deep workmanlike voice, "Call me next time your heading this way." He turned back to the screen where the young man was calling out in ecstasy as he was impaled on a thick long cock. The man turned back down to me before leaving. "Next time it's your choice. Lick it or I'll stick it." Then he paused. "You don't think you will call, but you will." Wanting a moment's peace. I quickly closed the door after him as he left. The plywood panel of the wall supported my back as I leaned against it. In one hand I held the card reading Frank's Construction while with the other I fished the cum out of my eye. I contemplated the white juice covering the whole of my forefinger. What should I do with it? My tongue ran over my lips to test the flavor of what he had left there. Not too bad. I wanted to taste it to put it in my mouth, but there was something different about looking at it like that, before all of the semen had been deposited directly in my mouth. Pulling my finger up to my nose I gave it a sniff. The same fresh smell was there but there as a hint of an almost bleachy smell too. I brought some of the juice in my mouth to my lips as if to spit and then took it back in rolling it over my tongue to get a taste. I wanted more of that taste in my mouth. Having made my decision I ran the finger over my lips and then collected some with my tongue, rubbed my eye to further clear it, passed over my forehead and cheek returning to suck the cream off my finger. The video had moved on now and this time it was a thin white boy on his knees in front of a talk black man with a long, thin cock. It made me think of the rocker's cock from the night before. I reached down between my legs and squeezed the head of my penis gently, making it jump. There had been I think four other booths that were lit up, but surely I didn't dare just walk up and knock on those doors. At my heart I really just wanted to stay and have this as kind of my base, so my short-term plan was to leave my bag here and keep the door open to see what I could do to get more cock. I peeked back out into the hall. The two booths at my end were empty but there were still a few lit up down the way and a couple guys were milling about in the hall. One was actually heading down my way. Not knowing what to do I turned sideways looking at the porn for a while and then back to the hall. If the door were left open that should be an invitation I hoped. Tall and lean the figure I had seen in the hall passed in front of my door and peered in cautiously. Where the other men that I had met here seem more like working men what I guess I would call a "real man" this guy was almost certainly playing for the other team. He was a black man, very thin with tight skinny jeans wearing a loose silk blouse. I had to call it that because it bore no resemblance to anything I had seen a man dare wear before. Where I was still very nervous here he seemed to own the place. His features were sharp, almost too sharp. It was too dark to tell, but I was sure the he wore some kind of makeup to highlight his eyebrows and lips. The look on my face must have been priceless. I meant nothing by it, but I simply had to gawk at the man who was almost a girl except in one regard. Through his tight jeans there was a clear outline of another long penis. They seemed to be all over, I started to feel self-conscious about the size of mine. It was almost disturbing that this person that was so outwardly feminine in all other regards would have such a natural endowment. Breaking the silence that hung before us, he spoke in a low voice, looking around him. "You waiting for someone hun?" I didn't know how to respond. So I was just honest. "Umm I guess so. I like just fooled around with a guy and I guess, umm, I was looking for another, but I'm not really sure how to do that." A big smile spread across his face, deep and genuine but with a great deal of amusement. "New huh, hun? Let me guess you like sucking them big cocks?" He said and grabbed himself demonstratively through his jeans. I almost blushed. It was odd. I wasn't really all that interested in him because he was so fem so I wasn't like a guy I was going to suck was saying that to me as an invitation. It was more like I had a confidant someone who understood, but his understanding made the whole thing more real for me. If as I just seemed to assume he was like me in wanting to pleasure men, then I must be like him as well. I looked at him a minute and let that sink in. "Well do you?" he asked again. I was taking too long. "Hun?" "I'm sorry," I said hurriedly, "Yes I am here looking to suck on some guys. The last one, like, shoved my face in his ass and then beat off on my face. It wasn't exactly what I was looking for. "Hmm, or maybe it was." He returned. "Hey your pretty cute you wouldn't want to let me suck you once? You might like it and I do know my way around down there." I took half a step back and lightly shook my head no, not wanting to disappoint, but really not interested at that point either. "I guess not. Well it's ok," he said with a hint of pity in his lilting voice. "Here I'll help you since you new. You want this booth down here. C'mon." I grabbed my pack and followed him out into the hall, past the opening to the back area and onto the right side. He sashayed back and forth. If you didn't know better you might think it was a nice girl's butt, except he seemed to exaggerate his steps more than any lady I had ever seen. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 05 We stopped about halfway down the hall at an empty booth. It looked pretty much the same as the booth I was just in so what was so special about it. Maybe there as some kind of unwritten code here where you stayed if you wanted certain things. "Ok. Put in your money honey." He motioned to the slot on the wall, and I hurriedly put in some cash. The video turned on, lighting up the room. "I'm Dru, by the way honey if you see me around again say hi and tell me how you do. C'mere quick look", he motioned me into the hall. Above the door on the left the light was off, but the one to the right was on. He pointed to it and smiled and brought me back in the room. Grabbing me by the shoulder he directed my gaze to the sidewalls on either side. Cut into the walls were holes about 3 inches in diameter. Dru smiled and pointed to the hole on the right, nodding. "Now honey you just stick your finger through there and I bet you get you some, especially if they look through first and see how cute you are. And remember, hun, you don't have to do nothing. If someone want to suck yours and you don't want it or they put an ass up in your face you're not ready for. Say No. You are allowed. You are the prize here, baby boy. Now have your fun." He turned to the hall, exited pointing at the latch on the door, waved a little prom queen wave and shut the door behind him. -- Setting my bag down in the corner by the screen, I looked at it and quickly pulled out the bottle for a long swig before replacing it. The burn went down my throat and the warmth came over me. Now was good of a time as any. I knelt in front of the hole looking through. There was a man standing in front of his screen and all I could see was that he had his pants down and was playing with himself. Much like the guy before I really couldn't see his cock, but this man's ass was thinner and less hairy. Putting my index and middle fingers together I placed them on the wall next to the hole and then ran them around the lower edge, contemplating and procrastinating. They hovered there for a second and then I shoved them through the hole initiating myself to a whole new part of my life. At first nothing at all happened. I held my fingers through the hole for a few seconds, considered pulling them out, kept them a little longer and then I had to look to see what was going on. Through the hole the man was moving. At first I saw a thigh and then inches from the entrance was a cock dangling in midair, already hard. Supported by three fingers underneath and held in place by a thumb on top, the man was slowly stroking himself. My impatience grew to see the sweet meat in front of me so close but out of reach. He was smaller than the other guys I had been with maybe as small as five I couldn't say for sure. It shined in the light as if he had been using his spit as a lube to work it, reminding me of the peckers I had serviced before; how they had looked the moment they were released from my mouth after a good cum. I longed for that feeling again of penetration, offering my mouth up to the hole, open wide, tongue slightly flared out. My hand went to my crotch and I rubbed myself. The heat was on me now. Desperately, I needed that feeling of a hard cock dominating my mouth. Then it started, quite slowly at first. I had no control or I would have dived down on him, but he chose a slower route. Taking just the head he rested in my waiting mouth, rolling the head around. I flicked gently with my tongue in order to entice further exploration and please him. The helmet of his cock soft and spongy ran the outline of my lips several times then pulled back for a few seconds. I knelt in suspense waiting. The softness returned slightly deeper this time. The glans lay gently on my tongue and I worked the underside where it met the shaft. The man seemed to like this and we stayed like that for almost a minute. The hole allowed my entire mouth access, but my nose was cut off. Therefore, there really wasn't much in the way of a scent for me to take a hold of, just the taste that I could get and the texture of my tongue on his head. My excitement had grown to a level that it was actually uncomfortable to be in my jeans anymore. There had been a fear of taking them down, since I couldn't get fucked that day, but I needed to release. So, while I lathered him with my tongue, I somehow managed to slip out of my pants and kneel half naked in only my shirt on the floor. My stud's enthusiasm must have been growing too for shortly after I had finished getting comfortable he pulled his cock back a second and then gave me my first taste. There was no way to see but he must have squeezed his cock from the base like I did when I was jacking off sometimes to get a ball of precum at the tip. He then wiped it on my waiting tongue. The taste exploded. I let out a little moan and then said "mmhm". He began to ride my mouth for real at that point. I wrapped my lips around the shaft and just took his thrusts. Being that he wasn't too long and the thickness of the board between us he was going to a full depth without choking me. I could feel his pubes hitting my lips. It was a new sensation for me to have on an upstroke just a tip of a cock and then as he dived in the whole of it buried deep on every stroke and not having to choke or anything. My mouth made a suction around his hardness. I pulled my cheeks in while keeping my jaw wide and held my tongue up against the underside of his sweet pecker, forming a sheath that he could use. My mouth was a pussy for him and he fucked away. More moans emanated from deep inside me on his thrusts and I let the volume rise. To be true they turned me on and I thought they might be encouraging for him. I wanted to please him so bad, I needed his seed. Then he said throatily, "I'm gonna cum." "Mmm, mmhmm, mmhm," was my quick response. I sounded so much like one of those girls in the videos. When I had heard it before it had sounded so fake. How could anyone get anything from someone shoving their dick in your mouth? But, I was not faking in the least. My little whimpers were of delight. I urgently needed to taste his seed, to feel him explode and take him to that nirvana of writhing orgasm. He rewarded me as such and fully deep in my mouth he started shooting his hot sweet cum. I had never taken it from quit this angle before. The other times it had been either in my throat or more towards the front. This time the cock head was position in a way that it was only a centimeter from the back of my throat. Every spurt of delicious cream hit full blast against this sensitive membrane. The power of the man taking nature's right and having his way with me was consuming. My whole being seemed to linger in space for a second floating along, riding the jets of his cum. Soon my mouth was full. I was not about to relinquish my prize anytime soon. There was a need to savor the taste fully rolling the juices around on my mouth, letting it seep into my body and become a part of me. There was a sensation that it enveloped me so completely that I nectar of man was easing out my very pores. He pulled away and I could here him zipping up. I tried to thank him but it only came out as a mumble. The door next to me open and then shut again. In the hallway I could hear low voices and shortly the door opened again. There was no way to tell if the door had shut the second time. I remained in my position, mouth up to the hole still full of the previous man's seed. All of which would be evident to the newcomer. What would he be thinking? Should I hold it there? Pausing a few seconds, I realized that I couldn't just hold the juice in my mouth the whole time. If the new man saw me swallow that would be pretty hot for him and I could back away to get a look and make sure his wasn't a ... hmm a creep? Who exactly would I reject at this point. I had to look. Closing my mouth I let the juice run down my throat and pulled back peering through the hole. A new man was lined up and undoing his pants. Moving my head to get a better angle I could see that his door to the hallway was still open, meaning that anyone out there would be able to see what I was doing. It was an odd thought that in a way I was both being an exhibitionist and that I was being anonymous. Surely, at some point I would have to leave the confines of the booth and anyone watching me leave would know that it was I who had been pleasuring men, but for that moment in time I could be anyone. There could be a line of men the whole way out to the video section and I wouldn't know it. Maybe they would hang out afterwards and when I left they would all watch me go down the line of men that I had served, my head hung in the shame and dirty glory of my acts. But for now there was the man on the other side. My position at the moment was pulled back from the hole a foot or so. The sight of a still flaccid penis poking through at me interrupted my reverie. The balls were long and heavy, but at this stage the cock itself was only a couple of inches. I leaned forward at first taking in the scent. He was freshly washed, smelling like some popular brand of soap. I was almost strange tome, but underneath I could still smell traces of the musk that were yearning to get through. Bending down I took one of the balls in my mouth and suckled gently. At this the man moaned so loud that it was uncomfortable to me. Moving to the other one I was even more careful to use the lightest touch. Again the man moaned aloud. Although I was till horny and wanted earnestly to give this man a blowjob, I wasn't sure that I could it was almost comical and I didn't want to draw that much attention to myself. Leaning forward a third time I placed his entire cock right into my mouth and pushed up against the hole in a similar manner to the way I had with the last man. There was no outburst. My tongue worked on him as I sucked as if his penis was a pacifier. It gently grew but slowly. Several minute passed like this him just standing on the other side of the wall and me suckling like a pig. The barely measurable growth spurts had finally got the cock to a state of soft erection where he could start pumping my mouth. The blood filled his most sensitive member and expanded it with the friction of my lips and tongue. It was coming to life in my mouth. What was once soft and supple gained ridges and grew rigid. The slow measured strokes grew slightly faster. This felt right. The man had come to life. He worked my mouth for a minute and then stopped pulling out on me. As I leaned back to see what was the matter, he but his face down by the hole and said softly. I want too come in there to see you doing it. I get off on watching you. The idea rolled over in my mind for a time and then I agreed that he could come over if he wished. My hand went to the latch and I undid it shifting to face to door so that I could accept him properly. The door opened inwards and an older man maybe in his fifties entered with his cock still out! It blew my mind that he would walk around the hall like that, but I guess it was a short trip. Hopefully, no one had seen him. He slipped in past the door and standing up in front of me, reached down, grabbed my head and started to pump his cock in my mouth. There was none of the tentative slowness of before. This was a man determined to fuck my face. The cock had grown to be big enough that his thrusts couldn't be full without choking me. Which he seemed to have no compunction doing. I started to gag and could feel the moistness of my throat juices making my mouth slippery and running down my chin. My head was held on either side by powerful hands the tilted my head backwards. He wanted to see the look on my face as he pummeled it with his tool. Now he got loud again, but instead of moans he stared making these rough grunting sounds. His balls slapped up against my slippery chin I could feel my shirt starting to stick to my chest there was so much now. A particularly deep thrust was held for a few seconds making my eyes water heavily. He pulled back and put it in again deep. Below him, I was little more than a rag doll; hands at my sides accepting his thrusts. There was something so hot about him using me this way. I just stared up into his eyes and took the treatment like the little pussy boy I had become. Then he stared talking. "Yeah take it you little bitch. I'm gonna shoot cum in your throat." His breath was ragged, his hips pumped furiously. The length of his cock reached an impossible hardness, seeming to bloom and with one last hard thrust deep inside me started to spasm. The whole cock pulsated in my mouth. There was no way to taste him as he was pushed so deep in me. The actual cum leaving his cock, which I had been experiencing, was replaced with a live pulsing action. He finished and pulled straight back out. Pointing the cock back down on my face. He turned to his side and began to slap his hard cum soaked cock down onto my face, hitting my cheeks and lips. That was when I noticed to my shock that he had left the door open after he had entered and he had turned me in order to show a couple men in the hall how he was using me. The man above me saw my gaze shift to the hall and the look of recognition on my face. "Yeah cocksucker you're gonna do them do. Little sissy." He laughed shoving his still hard cock back down into my cavity. The next man was already undoing his pants and entering the room followed by another. The booth was rather small so they shoved me deep my back to the screen and proceeded to have their way with me. Everything was happening so fast that it is hard to recollect right now. Soon I was surrounded by three hard cocks of middle-aged men intent on getting their way, a way that I was every bit willing to give them. There was something so hot about being in the middle of all that sexual energy, of being the outlet to so much passion even at the price of my own manhood. I would take one cock in my mouth then the other, holding one and cupping another's balls. The man who had cum evidently still wanted to stick around for the show but slowly he worked his way out of active participation so that I was face with two sweet healthy bouncing cocks. One would turn my head to him, firmly holding my head and pushing his cock deep over and over. Then sensing his neighbor's impatience he would turn my head to the other cock and feed it to me bouncing my head on his stick. This turned into how the game would be played. One stood to my rear the other in front. The one behind would shove my head down making me take every inch of his buddies cock. They seemed to have a perverse desire to choke me. I would retch and they would let up a little bit and then back at it. After a bit of treatment with the one cock they would spin me around one-eighty and the roles would reverse always one man feeding the other's cock to me. My excitement was overwhelming, I was leaking fully in my pants now, where a pool of precum that had to be as big as a nickel was forming. But, alas all of this use on my untrained mouth was severely tiring to me. It reached a crescendo that I could no longer take. Pushing my self off the current cock I looked up pleading and the feeder and begged, "Please cum. Please Sir, Sirs, please cum for me I need it so bad." I hoped that my please would take them to the place where they wanted to finish their business. My ploy worked fine. The man who had been feeding me started to jack his cock vigorously. They turned me sideways so I could appreciate both cocks at once. His buddy was pulling on his shaft as well and I would move from one to the other. Licking the cockhead of this one and then going underneath and sucking the balls of the other. Once in a while I would say something I thought was sexy like, "cum for me daddies I need to taste you please cum for me please." The one on the left was first. He had brought himself to the edge and now plunged over it by mashing his heated vein down the length and burying himself in my waiting orifice. One, two three thrusts and then pulling back he filled my mouth up with his cum. I took a few blasts swallowed and pulled back letting the rest drip into my waiting mouth. His friend was next but timed it wrong so he didn't quite get to my mouth before he started to shoot. The first stream of seed splashed across my upper lip. I hungrily capped him off, taking just the tip in my mouth and felt each pulse fill me with delicious seed. It was the icing on the cake. Just as quickly and chaotically as everything had happened they all disappeared. Perhaps I was lost too much in the moment to notice them tidying up and getting ready to leave. All I knew was that one moment I had cocks all around my face and cum all over and the next I was left kneeling on the floor, shirt soaked with cum and mouth juices I licked my lips, tried to make myself look as unnoticeable as possible and slipped out of the building to catch a bus home for some much needed rest. As I walked the last steps out of the store I turned back to see if anyone was watching me. They all seemed oblivious, but I knew. The visions would play in my mind the rest of the day, just like the tastes of the men's cum lingered in my mouth and their musky scents covered my face. -- Thursday morning I was back into schoolwork. Something about it seemed even more boring and pointless than it had previously. Sure I wanted to have a good job someday and not just be loading trucks or something for the rest of my life, but I was feeling that I never really had a chance to live my life at all. The boring nonstop drone of high school had melted in to the same at college. Perhaps, it was that there was so much on my mind that I couldn't really try to concentrate or possibly it was my total lack of interest in philosophy. Since I had left the bookstore the day before my life had been utterly uneventful. I had stopped by a store to get some decent clothes on Mr. Silver's card, grabbed some Chinese takeout and holed up in my room until this morning watching mindless nonsense on the television. The last few days kept running over and over in my mind. About how I had taken on this new role, opening a different outlook on what my life was. It was hard for me to look any man on the street or fellow male student in the eye, because I could no longer trust my own reactions. I was afraid that I would do something to let my new secret out. This being a sex tool for men was all too new for me to go around acting like Dru did. There was a way that I was used to looking at myself and the kind of mincing out and about dirty boy thing wasn't how I saw myself. The sexual adventures were not really a solid part of my existence just suits that I could step into and explore new things. I was used to people reacting to me as the normal college boy, not like one of those guys that liked men. I wasn't brave enough to be unique like that. There was also a part of me that enjoyed the taboo hidden nature of the whole thing. If I saw a man at a station and happened to glance at his crotch for a second, the flush of exhilaration and shame that flowed over me was intoxicating. There was no way for the man to suspect that I was imagining him in my mind's eye standing over me with his hard cock pointing down waiting to be serviced. I had played with that feeling a bit the night before when I was feeling particularly horny. Taking down my yearbook as I had many times before, I turned to pages that I had never really looked at before. Different boy's sports teams for the most part. The wresting team seemed to be the one that I went back to the most. For the first time I went through each of the pictures and inspected the package of each boy. Most of them were guys that I had hung out with quite a bit. There was no way that I could muster up the courage to like ask them if I could suck them in real life. It would almost be like I was letting them down or something, but I found myself getting very excited looking between all their legs and imagining what they looked like hard. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 05 This was the sort of thing that kept running through my mind in every class that I took that morning, that and the knowledge that there was at least one person out there that knew what I was getting into, the mysterious man that was going to meet me with the odd phrase 'sissy gurl'. Those words brought up images that I did not like to assign to myself, usually some very masculine looking guy in too much makeup wearing a big gaudy frilly dress and sometimes even a diaper. How was that sexy? I got the idea that it was humiliating for him and therefore a way for other guys to get off on being dominant. That was the idea I guess that I would respond to those words that they chose in a submissive manner and would be put into my role. The game so far had been kind of fun, even if I wasn't ready to accept it myself yet, so why not. All morning I had been looking around for whom the prospective mystery man was. It was like playing a spy game. There was very little chance that it was a fellow student so I ruled them out quickly. More than likely it was someone that wasn't even associated with the college at all and the man would approach me between classes or on my lunch break. Regardless of my deductions, I still eyed most every male that I met with a sort of curiosity. At first I would kind of look to see if they were paying attention to me and thus be a possible suspect, which I had started calling in my mind the 'new boss'. And then with some of the guys, especially if they were quite a bit larger than me, I would take a surreptitious second look to see if I would want to kneel. There was a certain art to not looking but using the corners of my eyes to inspect packages. The whole thing had me feeling quite slutty I must say and probably with good reason, for who but a slut would go around all morning checking out men's packages. I forgave myself in the fact that I was also playing this little game of spotting my new companion who could hardly be classed less of a sex fiend than myself for preying on a new young college student for his sensual needs. It occurred to me that this 'new boss' might not have any idea what my schedule was and I was playing this stupid game and getting all worked up for nothing; that he would simply show himself to me as I was walking back to my dorm where he was sure to know I would end up. The day wore on, past lunch where I was almost certain that he would appear and onto my afternoon literature class, my last class of the day. It happened to be my favorite class for reading was one of the great joys of my life. To a boy like myself who wasn't very social, the characters in books were like constant companions that couldn't judge you or have any expectations, much like I imagined some people felt for their cats. There had been a small assignment that I had missed on Tuesday when I was playing hooky so at the end of class I went up to the podium to ask the professor if could have a copy. Several students surrounded him and I waited patiently as was my nature, avoiding any conflict by having to maneuver in line. Finally, the professor was alone and I asked him for my assignment. He seemed lost in his thoughts, perhaps troubled by something a student had just said. At any rate he didn't seem to be paying a lot of attention to me. I asked him again if I could have a moment of his time for I had missed the previous assignment. He glanced up at me over the top of his reading glasses then slowly looked around the whole room, which by this time was almost deserted wondered for a second and then turned back to me. "Your attendance has been good young John so I wont berate you. However, you must stay on top of your schoolwork. If you let it slip too much you will fall behind, a most awful thing to do in your freshman year. Remember this is the year that most students drop out. So persevere and you will be sure to succeed." The elderly gentleman sifted through his paperwork as he spoke. I hadn't really wanted a lecture, just the stupid homework so I could get away from classes and back into my little world. The man was sure to meet me on my way home or there might be a message on my answering machine. Professor Mason found the paper he sought and held it in his hand as he looked again slowly around the room. Mystified as to why he would be doing that I followed his gaze. We were alone now in the room. "Here is your paper young John. Please return it next Tuesday for credit," He said holding out he paper, which I snatched lightly and turned to go. "Oh, John one last thing," Said the professor, "I must say I feel rather odd asking you this, but I didn't exactly pick the words myself. What would you say if I called you a sissy girl?" My jaw dropped. I hadn't even thought about Professor Mason when playing my little spy game. Maybe it was that he was older than I would have expected someone to be to be in a group like that o Mr. Silver's. I hadn't even looked at him in my naughty little game of would I suck him. For some reason I thought older people were just non-sexual. He stood there waiting for my response. Maybe he was afraid that his friends had played a joke on him or that he had the wrong person. More than likely I could just say something offhand and leave, blowing the whole thing off, but the whole day had been spent building up to this moment so I just said meekly. "I was supposed to hear that today. I am sorry I didn't know it would be you, umm, Sir." My head bowed a bit and my posture took on a more passive form. I wasn't sure that I really wanted to have anything to do with this man sexually. I mean he was old, probably about sixty. The one guy in the booth yesterday I had thought was old, but this was going a bit too far. "That's good John. Be a dear and lock that door for me. Yours is my last class of the day. That's right make sure the shades are drawn tight too." I walked slowly over to the door. The whole thing felt kind of surreal. I had been prepared all day, but this had totally caught me off guard. A sudden urge to run came over me, which I almost succumbed to, but in the end I just turned the latch, locking myself in and sealing my fate for the next couple hours. "That will do young man. Now come here. Next to me." The professor was standing behind the chair of a large oak desk, which was covered with papers except on the right-hand side where he had evidently cleared a space for me. I walked over, standing in front of this area. I placed my hands at my sides and then clasped them in front of me not sure exactly what to do. My confusion was short lived. He grabbed my right forearm and placed my hand palm down on the desk then repeated with the left. Reaching around my waist from behind he unfastened my belt, unbuttoned my pants and ran the zipper down. A hand crept in and started massaging my groin. It was the first time that I had actually had someone play with my penis. In all of my previous encounters I had been the one pleasing the other man. It was confusing for me to be the one accepting the pleasure right now. "Excuse me, Sir," I stammered, "but I thought I was... I mean... I was the one to please you." "Shush, boy." he said gently, "You are to do as you are told. I am taking it on myself to teach you a special lesson today. Be silent and let me have my way with you and you will be richer for it. I promise." My penis was now fully erect and Mr. Mason stroked it slowly, sometimes stopping to squeeze my balls or the head of my cock gently, sending shivers up my spine. At times he would go lower than my scrotum and even farther back almost to my anus and press up, making little circles almost like girls I saw in videos frigging themselves off. When he did this my member would pop up slightly as if stimulated, but I wouldn't really feel much. It also had the effect of making me notice the entrance to my rear more. He wasn't actually touching it but something in there was moving around and activating the nerves in the area. He alternated between massaging that spot and stroking my cock for about five minutes. For some reason this simple act had me feeling more of a lack of control than anything except Rikki fucking me the other night. When I was sucking, even when I was getting face fucked to a degree I had some sort of way of changing what was happening, but with the hand coming from behind me I had no idea what was going to happen next. All I could do was just stand there. Prof. Mason pulled back and grabbing my pants and underwear pulled them down, ordering me to step out of them. At that point all that I had left on was my socks and my polo style shirt. He turned away from me for a bit and was messing around in some sort of cabinet. Then I heard that familiar popping sound. Even now if I am in some normal circumstance out in the world and someone flips open the plastic lid on a bottle of something and it sounds just right, my cock will jump in my pants in anticipation. When I heard the sound this time I instinctively arched my back a bit and pushed my ass out. He had decided on a better position for me, however, and proceeded to pull each leg about one foot backwards and spread them about another foot. My hands were moved to outside of my shoulders on the edge of the desk, which, in turn, forced my head down to a few inches above the desk. The professor balled up my pants and stuck them under my face as a cushion, on which he rested my chin. All of this had the effect of creating the maximum exposure for my anal entry. My legs being spread so far apart forced my cheeks open. At any second I expected to feel something moist and slippery going up inside of me. The seconds ticked by: five, ten, twenty. Around me was complete silence. The position wasn't the most comfortable. I could maintain it. But the lack of any sound or any sensory input whatsoever when it was so expected was unnerving. My legs had tensed and I had raised my ass in expectation, but now that I was going to be waiting a while I forced myself to relax. I steadied my breathing, and closed my eyes. Stifling the urgent desire to ask what was going on. There was a sense that if I asked something severe would happen. There was something about the manner of this timid old professor that was in a way more threatening than the blowhard rocker from the night before. Now a minute had passed or maybe more. A cool moist finger ran around the edge of my hole. The coolness shocked me and I tensed up, gasping. The finger retreated, more seconds passed. Next was a gentle squeeze of my testicles. Again my gluteus muscles clenched up, I gripped the edge of the desk momentarily, letting out an "ooh", then release. Then with the fingers of either hand he reached silently up behind my and delicately pinched my nipples. I had never even thought about that area in a sexual way before, on girls yeah, but for me it was kind almost off limits. If he had been rough it may have been different but his touch was so light to such a sensitive area that my hips squirmed. Again the stillness filled the room. Hard and firm came the slap on my ass cheek. It was his bare palm I could tell. The sound was tight, ringing clear throughout the room and reverberating off the walls the echo came back as the sound of chopping wood. Now the waiting was over for he started in on a rhythm, slapping one cheek and then the other lightly, but hard enough I am sure that my cheeks were turning red. There was no pain associated with this, but I had a very definite sense inside of myself that he was taking his right. The smacks were a favor to me for being a good boy for if I were bad they might not be so easy. Who knows what a person that may have been passing in the hall would have thought hearing the steady cannonade of whacking sounds. Even if they could guess there was no way that they convince themselves they were right. Just when I started to get tender on my backside he relented and the waiting game was back on again. This time for over a minute pure silence fell over the room. I could hear my heart beating heavily in my chest awaiting the anal assault that was sure to come. The start was very gentle and much longer than I would have thought. Both of my previous encounters had been very much a wham bam thank you sort of thing, but Mr. Mason enjoyed taking his time. First, he started in with something that was too solid to be his penis, maybe the thickness of a finger. It was cool and slick as he gradually inserted it up my in my nether region. He would take it in a bit hold it, gently wriggle it around inside of me and then pull it out. He seems to be concentrating very much on the act of insertion. Next, he got something that was larger as it certainly stretched me more when he pushed it past the threshold. Slowly wider and wider it forced the opening as he got more depth. So stretched was I that I tensed for the pain, which in turn brought on a cycle of more pain and more clenching that seemed involuntary. A wave of anguish shot up my spine. He pulled the love tool out to the tip waited a second and pushed it back in a measured manner, the lubrication allowing my sphincter to stretch and accept the foreign object into my loins. This practice, for that was really what it was, of stretching me out and then me panicking and forcing the object out followed by the gentle insistence of another forward thrust, got me mentally used to the action of being penetrated while relaxing the hole itself for further use. In time this tool was removed as well and replaced again. At first I thought it was the original thinner version, but this was much longer and had a sort of curve for when he pushed it in it did not go straight back, but instead seemed to press forward on the base of my penis in about the same place he was massaging me at the beginning of our session. This caused a feeling quite unlike any that I had ever had before. The closest I could explain was that of a girl getting fucked and you hit her g-spot, because when it was inserted just right a strong jolt of lust coursed through me. As with the nipple sensation this was one that I could tell would be very easy to overdo. I was just too sensitive. I think that I had felt something like this more so when Mr. Silver fucked me than Rikki, but the stimulation with this tool was far more direct. The professor I think sensed that my edge was being reached with this tool. He held it in and, putting his hand around the shaft of my penis, stroked me. It was like he was milking me. I could feel the wetness at the tip of my cock. He stroked me for a short time and then still holding my penis brought his other finger up around my face to my lips, rubbing the juice that he had collected there. I licked instinctively, letting out a "mmm" sound. The milking continued for several minutes. There was a few times when I felt that I was going to just explode right here and shoot all over he floor, but Mr. Mason would stop and feed me what he had collected. The hand and sex toy were removed and I was left hanging again in anticipation. Surely now he would fuck me. The bottle cap sounded off again and a light smile came across my face. He started gently in on me, which may not have been all that necessary for my entrance at least was quite ready for him. I could feel him pass the zone that had caused me the most pain and anxiety and then I was being stretched anew around his glorious manhood. There was no way for me to know just how long his penis was so when he started the fucking motion I thought that he was either rather small or the time he spent warming me up really had worked well. I could feel him rocking up in me but there wasn't the more extreme feeling of deeper exploration. It turned out that he was just taking his time, with short strokes to start and at a low pace. He proceeded to push slightly further in unremarkable increments, keeping with his method of easy introductions to my anal passage. But, as experienced and careful as the professor was, he was still a man. The tightness of my young ass constricting on his love tool and the decadent horniness of having a new young toy to explore sexually came over him and he began to thrust in me full strokes that stirred up the passions within me and took me away to a different plane of existence. His belly smacked against my ass over and over as he plunged up inside of me. I rode each thrust forming myself around him. His hand reached down once more and stimulated the head of my penis rubbing on the underside causing the length of my cock to jump around wildly. Little strokes on the shaft and then back to the head, all the while pounding his stiff rod up inside of me like some sort of machine. It seemed he would never cum. I started moaning with every thrust like a young girl being deflowered, my voice somehow soft and high, as if his strokes had taken my very manhood itself. Then his hands left my crotch and were placed firmly on my hips. He pressed down on me so that know I was almost squatting, while my hips were still set high. My back was arched so and he took to fucking straight down into me. The head of his penis started to hit the same spot that he had been working with the love toy. Moans of ecstasy overcame me and from deep inside of me my cock pulsed hard three times, squirting my cum all over the drawers of the professor's desk. Sensing my rapture he sped up and finished as well, filling my hole with a slippery wetness. Spent, he rested on my back, keeping me impaled upon him and breathing heavily. "Good boy," he whispered between breaths, "Now get down and lick up your mess." So wrapped up in what had just happened to me I obeyed without thought. His gentle push on my back too my to my knees where I proceeded to lick the cabinet doors cleaning my cum off. The juice was now good and familiar, but I still felt dirty tasting my own in front of anyone, even a man who had just thoroughly fucked my ass. He sat on the desk up above me where I had been resting my chin and looked down in satisfaction. When I was finished I looked up at him. Inside of me I wanted to know if I had done. There was a pleading, longing look in my eyes. Above me his now soft cock and balls hung over the edge of the desk. Above his face smiled down at me gently. Never again would I look at an older man and discard them sexually for his man had just opened me up. I knew that I would willingly serve him just to know that I was doing a good job and pleasing him. As he seemed content I did what I now realize I wanted to do all along. I had missed the feel of a living cock in my mouth. Even though I had just been fed the day before by several men, deep inside me the seed of yearning for the taste of cock had been planted and was now spreading. I moved up between his legs, eyes on my prize and ever so gently started to lick on his balls and shaft. There was a foreign taste that I assumed to be lube and another that I could tell was from me, which although I got no pleasure from it, it didn't bother me enough to worry much. There was also the cummy taste, but soon all would be washed away with the licks of my tongue. Before long he reached a state of semi-hardness again, but he never came. I just knelt there gently sucking on his sweet cock for a long time, until he placed his hand on my head and told me it was time to go. He gave me the toy that he was using to stretch me and some lube telling me that I should be gentle with it, but to use it once in a while to stretch my butt out and to work myself with it for about a good half hour before I showed up at the party on Saturday night. Otherwise I was to rest my ass until then and accept no more fucking, because I was going to be worked over Saturday night in my initiation. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 06 AUTHOR'S NOTE This is a story about a young man exploring his sexuality and finding out he is a gay submissive. It is rather long and not all about sex so if you are looking for a quickie you might want to look elsewhere. This is a fantasy. All characters are over the age of 18. Please enjoy. ------------------- Time is a funny thing. When you are in the doctor's office for an appointment you can look at a clock and then pace around, read an article from a magazine you would never bother picking up, check out everyone else in the office and when you look back at the clock, bam only 5 minutes have gone by. Then there is your lunch break where you head to the store, gas up, buy a breakfast burrito at the convenience store and wind up almost being late getting back. Things that you want to last forever just seem to flash by, while the petty nuisances of life can seem to drag on and on. While true time travel may not be possible I always wonder if there is a way that you could harness the power of the mind to seemingly bend time as a matter of perspective like this reversing the fields so that the droll and boring parts of life would speed by and the moments that you cherish would slowly trickle by. I had not managed that trick so the time from Thursday evening when I left the professor until Saturday afternoon played alternate tricks of expanding and contracting on me. There were times that I was eager with anticipation and just wanted to get the whole thing started. It was the culmination of the path that I had taken. What would it be like? Had I even met anyone? Someone had seemed to allude to the fact that there might be another guy or two that couldn't use me that week or perhaps they were saving me for something. The simple wanting to know consumed me making the time stretch out very slowly. At other times the pressing reality of what I was about to undertake would crush down upon me. I didn't think that I would be able to take it. Maybe it would hurt too much or I could be in a position that I would be uncomfortable and trapped. Visions of all the worst sort of BDSM torture scenes would play through my head and I would become very nervous, looking at the clock and calculating how much time I had before I would pass the point of no return and not be able to call the whole thing off. My fears were only fleeting though as I would from time to time reflect on certain events of the past week and would necessarily get into a dirty mood. The thought of how a cock felt in my mouth just as it was coming or one little moment where a man had his hand on the back of my head, pushing me down, needing my eager mouth. The tastes, scents and sounds would work me back into a frenzied anticipatory phase. Any fears that I had were dismissed on the basis of my prior treatment. Sure the men in the group had all been firm with me or at least had taken a very active role ensuring my submission, but none of them had ever been violent really or shown me any disdain. It was simply that I was the way I was, a passive and compliant means for other men's pleasure. There was something special in the role that I seemed to be meant for. In addition to the simple fact that I found myself adoring penises in all their shapes and forms, there was the way that I could tell that I was providing the purest pleasure in my arts to the men that I served. Perhaps, that was one reason that I acquiesced so easily to their demands. To refuse would be to lessen the effect of my ministrations on them and would therefore reduce my own pleasure. Never in the whole time that I had been with any of the men had I reacted out of a selfish need to get off myself. I didn't know if this was natural. It didn't seem so, but to tell the truth even though I was in an ecstatic state it was not one that I wanted to come to completion. For me the sexual tension of the ride itself outweighed the mere act of orgasm. For the men however, I desperately wanted them to cum, almost to a point where it was selfish. The way the professor had been with me exerting full control was perhaps the way that it should be done. To let them get the maximum pleasure out of me as possible when I was the receiver of the action entirely was one thing, but when I was kneeling with their cock in my mouth and I could sense their excitement mount it was so hard not to just go crazy sucking and get my reward, twofold in its nature of the pleasure of the man above me and the taste of his sweet seed. The time for big night finally approached, I dressed myself in the clothes that I had bought at Mr. Silver's shop, double checked myself in the mirror and ran nervously down to the steps in front of the dorm where a car was to pick me up. Right on time a black sedan rolled up to the temporary parking spot, which I recognized as Mr. Silver's. For one second I had a very deep-rooted sensation down in my gut to just stop, turn around and forget the whole thing. As I was about to give in and turn and run the Passenger door of the vehicle started to open slowly in an inviting manner. I was under its spell and advanced, neatly entering and closing the door after me. I turned left, fully expecting to see Mr. Silver there smiling at me, but instead I saw a man in his early thirties bald on the top of with a goatee and chiseled face. He was dressed for a dinner party except he has his shirtsleeves rolled up to the elbow exposing a strong forearm with an intricate tattoo of an Asian dragon. He certainly looked like the kind of guy that you didn't want to mess with. At first I was taken aback by his appearance and almost fearful, but there was something about his demeanor that was almost comforting in the way that he carried himself, like he could be a protector instead of a threat. It was obvious that Mr. Silver had trusted the man enough to let him drive his car, so that was one thing in his favor. We drove on in silence heading out of the city. It was just past dark and the night was clear. The stars shone down and the moon shone full in the sky, illuminating all below in its ghostly glow. It didn't seem right to break the silence first, almost as if this were part of some ritual undertaking. Although I made no noise, I couldn't shake my curiosity and reverted back to the game I had been playing with the different men on Thursday while I was waiting for the professor to show himself to me. First there would be a long stare out the window and then I would look forward as if something on the road got my attention. Pulling back my focus I would concentrate on my peripheral vision and try to make out the lines between his legs. Ok, I was trying to check out his cock without him knowing, but I failed, as I couldn't really get the right angle. The tempting though of just leaning over and looking occurred to me, but then I wasn't really sure that this man was one of the 'group'. Surely, he had to be. He seemed the kind of dominant guy that would be in a group wanting to take advantage of the fact that little boys like me liked strong men taking advantage of them. It was possible, however that he was not involved and not wanting to embarrass Mr. Silver, I refrained from actions that would expose my intention. At length, we pulled up to a complex composed of a long hall with a few smaller buildings around it. The grounds were cultivated neatly and a row of nice looking vehicles lined the parking lot. The man parked and got out of the car, so I followed suit. We walked down along the path that ran the length of the building instead of using the front entrance. In the hall I could hear old time ethnic European music plodding out a steady beat that reminded me of some sort of Oktoberfest. We reached a small side entrance topped with a solitary light. This led into the back area of the building were the kitchens and various minor rooms that serviced the larger hall was located. After a few twists and turns we reached a nondescript door which the man unlocked. Here in the back of the main hall was an area that it was unlikely many of the patrons knew about. The door opened into a reception area with bathrooms on the left and a coat check desk on the right. Straight ahead was a large open doorway leading to a spacious game room, in which I could see a pool table with a little bar, large screen television and some other tables and couches. The man pointed me towards an envelope and a small case on the desk and then walked out the door that we had entered. It was odd to me that he hadn't even spoken once, and that now I was here in this strange place all alone. The music was barely audible in here, but at least out there something seemed to be going on. In this place all alone I got a feeling something like when I was a child and my mother used to take me to church on an off day to visit the pastor. She would go into his office and talk for what seemed like forever and I would sit on a pew or walk around looking at the statues. When I took a step, echoes would ripple throughout the room as if admonishing me to stay quiet. The case on the desk was the sort that you would put toiletries in when you went on vacation. I grabbed it and held it in my hand, testing its weight as a child on Christmas morning. Then I reached for the envelope, opened it and read the contents. So you decided to come, John. Good for you. Now take the items you find in the bag with you into to the Ladies' room. You will find it more to your liking. You are to undress and insert the toy that you will find and then enter the shower, shave off your body hair and then shower for us. When you are done simply press the button on the pager in the case and we will come gather you. Be thorough John. I took the case and looked inside. There was a razor with shaving lotion, a small bottle of lube and a sort of rubber plug. I ran the plug around in my fingers, trying to mentally compare it with the ones that the professor had been using on me. I really couldn't tell I would just have to try it on. The ladies room was much larger than I had imagined. It actually had furniture and a carpeted floor, which I thought odd. There was a row of toilet stalls on the left wall and in the corner a large walk-in shower with a door. A long mirror with a large counter underneath filled the right side and on the counter was a bucket of ice with a bottle of wine and several wine glasses. Walking over to the mirror, I looked myself up and down and began to undress. The idea of shaving myself was a little odd to me I must confess, but it just seemed like a natural thing that I would be doing in this situation. There was very little hair on my body as it was to get rid of. Opening the bottle of wine I poured myself a full glass and downed half of it. There was a towel so I laid it down on the counter and took out the contents of the bag. The bottle and lube were the first order of business. I had never actually done anything like this myself before. My butt clenched at the thought, but I was determined to go through with it. I squirted a line of lube on the toy and then a couple more, but parts still looked dry so I went ahead and rubbed it on my free hand then reached around to insert it. The tapered end slid up in and to my surprise I managed to get the whole thing up my behind without even a struggle. There was a sort of constant pressure back there, but I assumed that was to get me loosened up and I welcomed anything that might help me avoid pain. The shower was warm and refreshing as I rubbed the oily lotion over my body and began to shave, first my arms and chest and then my legs. I was very careful to not push too hard and cut myself. It struck me that this was taking a very long time. It was hard to imagine what it was like to be a woman and have to do this all of the time. I shaved my butt, having to remove the plug to get around the hole, and then I had to do the hard part. Grabbing my balls and pulling the skin as right as I could I very slowly worked the blade across, removing any hair. The process was much easier than I had thought it would be for the tiny hairs seemed to just melt away like butter and before long I was totally smooth. Now clean shaven I grabbed some of the body soap in the little wrapper and ran it all over my body. It was silky smooth and delicately scented. Running my hands over my body I began to feel quite feminine and smell that way as well. Maybe since they wanted me to be shaved and use this soap they kind of wanted a girly boy. They did have Mr. Mason call me a sissy gurl so it was likely. It was Ok though. I could handle that. Maybe not in public, but in a room of guys that was going to use me anyways. Who cared if I was a cute girl to them or a submissive boy? The mirror had clouded up some while I was in the bathroom, but I could make out my new form. To me I really didn't look all that different, not as much as I had felt, but it was nice to feel the soft materials rubbing over my bar skin as I put my clothes back on. Finished I tidied up and checked myself one last time in the mirror, grabbed the pager and hit the button. -- The party itself was not quite what I had been expected. There were people everywhere, families I assumed. Long tables full of grandmothers gossiped, uncles drank and laughed; unruly children ran down the aisles ignoring the remonstrances of stressed out mothers. It was odd going from the world of the showering and depilation and redressing and the plug to this very normal world, and I hadn't left that other world entirely either. There was still the plug in my behind (I had checked several time to see if it showed), and of course there were the five or so men here that new my special purpose for attending. Mr. Silver himself had gathered me and was now in the process of going around introducing me to the people he passed. They nodded and smiled, not really paying attention, for who could remember so many people. I could not see the professor or the man who had driven me here anywhere, but Mark was working the sound equipment over by the bar where Tom was, quite naturally, parked himself. Finished with our rounds evidently, Milt told me to go on and mingle and have fun. It was a jolly crowd any of whom I could get along with so have some fun, and off he went. Not really knowing anyone else I walked over to the bar where Tom and Mark were talking, grabbing my self a stool and a beer. Sitting on the stool caused some pressure in my rear, but I settled down well. There was no fear of it going up too far for it had a longer thin base. Tom was smiling at me with a knowing grin as I got comfortable, but after that it seemed just like old times at the bar after work. He said that I didn't have to worry about coming in for a while, he was covering the pay sheets and we weren't busy in any way. I could have off until I got settled in the new arrangement. What exactly the details of the 'arrangement' were to be, I was not sure. At this point I really still just felt that more than likely I would have a night of intense sex and just go back to being my old self. Maybe I would fool around with one of the guys once in a while, but nothing where I would really give up much control in my everyday life. Tom started in on the local sport's team and him and Mark had a heated discussion about the benefits of getting this or that person in the draft and who was better at this position or who was over the hill. I wasn't totally out of the loop on these sort of things, but they didn't matter nearly enough to me to know all the ins and outs of them. For me sports were just another thing that they had on the television. Which team was better and who was who didn't really matter. Since I wasn't really part of the conversation and my introverted nature kept me from going out and mingling with a bunch of strangers, I decided to get good and tanked. I always enjoyed sex and felt more naughty hen I had a good buzz on anyways. I might as well get good and loose. On my right hand side was this lady about early forties I would say. She was sort of plump with the same sort of ruddy face that Tom had. In fact, she may have been related to him for all I knew, but since they were only a few feet apart and generally ignored each other I kind of doubted it. This lady was quite in her cups as it was already and seeing next to her a companion of the vine she struck up a conversation. Well really it was more a long monologue on her part, but that is the nice thing about passive people like myself, we are very good listeners. There is never a very good time for a person like myself to interject, therefore I get the whole story beginning to end. Ruth had just run into some bad luck with her husband. The story went that he was a traveling salesman. She had met him on one of his business trips in Vegas of all places. After telling me this she had to go on for about ten minutes on Vegas and how the lights were and her favorite slot machine. There no Elvis sightings mentioned, but finally she got back to her husband and her recent string of bad luck. It seems that he had gone out for about a week a while back, which wasn't an odd thing for him it as his business after all, but one night she had called and to her great surprise another lady answered the phone. I have to admit I kind of zoned out here for a bit. Women always had some complaint about their man. All in all it was a wonder that they had anything to do with men at all. One minute they would be swearing them off forever and the next a rather handsome man would walk by, or a wealthy one or maybe just someone said something nice and off they would go again. It all sounded rather insane to me. She kept droning on so I ordered another beer and looked over to the left. Tom was standing there talking to a man in a business suit. My eyes went down the length of Tom's body until I rested my eyes on his crotch. A vision of his long thick member hanging over my face brought me warmth. Maybe I could understand Ruth a little after all. I wont trouble you with her whole story, as I am sure you have heard it before. All I could think was that perhaps her expectations were just too high or she was not honest with what was really going on around her. The men in her life she accused of using her, but was she not using them as well? Women were so hard to figure out, and since they pretty much never thought they were the one that was in the wrong it was hard to get a straight story out of them. All of this brought me back to my situation tonight. Certainly there would be a lot of sex going on and to the view of an outsider it would look like the other men were the only ones receiving anything from the whole deal. Some people might without knowing any better think that I was being paid. That thought gave me a little pause. Obviously, I was not accepting any sort of payment really, but wasn't I in a way? The same way that many women accept a form a payment. I was letting Tom clock me in and out for work without showing; The other men had been buying me drinks and taking me places. Sure for their own pleasure for the most part, but I was not having to contribute anything, except me. Weren't my very body and the sexual acts that I would allow them to perform upon it and kind of service rendered for the payments I was receiving? Was I, by accepting their cocks, and their lavish treatment in some way whoring myself out? I have to admit for a bit the thought pleased me. Maybe it was that if I was selling myself there was something of worth there for someone to want. The being wanted felt good. There was a kind of naughtiness past all of the sex that I was feeling at that moment. My buzz was tipping past the point of control and I wanted to get on with the evening's festivities. A Submissive's Journey Pt. 06 Leaning over to Tom I whispered in his ear, "Is there a way that I can just go back to the room where I came in. I, umm... there's a lot of people here and I. Well you know." I smiled coyly at him. It was not something that I had ever done before, but I guess I tried to look kind of sultry and available. At least he didn't laugh in my face, and pretty lit up himself he said, yeah lets go back where its quiet. He went over and told Mark something, who nodded and looked at me with a smile and then we walked off to the back room. When we were out of sight and going down the hallway I watched his butt and licked my lips. My hips started swaying gently as I walked. I felt girly in a way. Maybe it was being bare or the toy now shifting in my butt again, but I was very much in the mood. Tom wasn't; even anything to look at really, just your typical middle aged man with a growing beer gut, but I knew here was a cock on the other side of that butt. This was the night I was promised up as the feast, but I felt more like a diner at that moment. We went into the game room area, where Tom mixed us up a heavy drink. I downed it. A comforting dizziness came over me and I dropped to my knees at his feet. My hands rubbed his one thigh, reaching for his package. Looking up at him trying to manage the coy face again I asked, "Do I still have to wear this toy its kind of, well, uncomfortable and I want room to... you know." He nodded and I rushed off to the bathroom quick to remove it and clean myself up. At the sink in the mirror I saw myself. To anyone else I may have looked just like a normal college boy with a little bit too much of a buzz, but I saw a dirty slut. I smiled and tried on my little coy look. It wasn't so bad actually. Pushing my lips out a bit into a pout I tried again. That was better. I smiled shyly at my own success and went back out to Tom. He had been preparing himself as well. Naked from head to toe except a thin chain around his neck, he stood with his hands on his hips, feet slightly apart. My lithe figure moved up to a few feet from him and I assumed my natural position between his legs. My feet curled up under my legs as I knelt. I rested my hands on my thighs. Then parting my lips I looked up at him with my best submissive look and inched toward his cock. He was already fully hard and his rigid member pointed straight out at me angled slightly down. I moved forward and took him gently on my lips. He moaned and smiled. Gently I took him to the base, his cock filling my mouth nicely. His size was such that right were his shaft met the head of his penis was the very back of my mouth. His entire helmet was encased by my throat. Pubes tickled my nose and I smiled. I kind of let my mouth be open too wide for my lips to rub on his shaft and worked the fleshy tip of his cock back and forth in the opening of my throat. There was no gagging as long as I was the one that had control. Each time I would pop down on him he would let out a sound like "oh" or "yes" which pleased me very much. I was making a point to listen for what clues I could pick up to maximize his pleasure. If I was going to be a little slut I wanted to be a good one. My mouth pulled back off him entirely leaving him bobbing in the air again, His crown shone with slippery wetness. I reached up with my right hand and worked the underside of his shaft squeezing gently until my prize was revealed, a juicy spot of precum. My tongue flicked out to gather it and I slowly backed away. A little string now hung from the cock's eye leading to my tongue. I sucked up the sweetness rolled it around in my mouth and voiced "mmm". Now I got to work. I reached for his bottom and clasped it with both hands and hungrily dove down and up on his rod, just taking the first few inches. His hips rode my face and I took the ramming motions with pleasure. There was no attempt at subtlety or waiting. It had been a week since I had been down on Tom's cock the last time and I was hungry for it. The delicious remembrance of how he had used me in the office came over me. I was lost in lust. He could not take this treatment for long. Nothing short of him physically throwing me off his raging hard on would have been sufficient to stop the torrent of cum that flowed from his depths, filling my mouth with its creamy ease. He tasted harsher this time, but that was fine. I kept sucking. So hard had he blew his load that it had gone up in to my nose and I could smell him stronger than ever before. My little cock leaked I my pants and I longed to free myself. Soon all activity came to a stop. All that could be heard was our heavy breathing. I swallowed him, licked my lips and looking him in the eyes thanked him with my coy smile. I had it down now. I knew it for he accepted my smile and returned it with the self-assurance of a man who knows his lover has a strong need for him. Tom went to the bar and fixed us an each another drink. I reminded him of the first night at the titty bar, but he said tonight was for partying and no mind they would keep me going no problem. I queried as to when the others would be coming back and if there was a ceremony. "Well there is kind of a ceremony. Pretty much you just showing up is part of it. By showing up you declare that you are willing to be used by us and by using you we accept you. This is our clubhouse I guess you would call it and you will be our toy." Tom explained. "Don't worry though it's not all cock we can just hang out and stuff too." He didn't realize at that moment it was all about cock for me. I was a little bitch in heat. The door opened and in walked the bald man that had driven me here. I was still on my knees drinking my drink and tom was naked on a barstool. My fingers ran over my lips to try to gather any semen that was there and looking at the new arrival I sucked on my fingers. That was all the invitation that he need for he prowled over and stood in front of me. Tom started talking to him about the Tattoo shop the man was running, something about one of his workers getting busted and was there any time that was going to come of it. The man who they called Spider started in on a long story about how the cops were full of it and while he was on this long harangue he reached out and grabbed my head with all the everyday ease of someone grabbing a pack of sugar for his coffee and started rubbing my face in his crotch. His was well proportioned down below and I found myself thanking my lucky stars that I had fallen in with a bunch of men that had nice cocks to please. My cheek rubbed on his rod and it hardened beneath his work pants. It ached for release, which he soon provided soon. It was like he had used me a hundred times before. It was a totally impersonal exchange. His cock was beautiful. Probably about average length but very thick with large manly balls that hung low and rose up tight when he was aroused. His hard penis was rubbed all over my face. The scent was strong and very musky as if he had been at work all day and hadn't showered. At first it kind of turned me off, but in time I got used to it. Eventually I would crave that smell. There were times later when I would be driving down the road and the smell would come out of nowhere and hit me and in my mind's eye I would be down on my knees again pleasuring him. I sucked his large salty balls for a long time while he shot the shit about some guy that was building him a bike and this lady that had come in dressed up like a nun to get a tattoo. He then shifted from me being his personal ball washer to his cocksucker. He grabbed my head and started ramming his pole in and out of my face. I literally could not take him deep as much as I tried. I would gag and try to push him down, but he was too thick. My thoughts went to the open space between my legs and how I had worn to tool to stretch myself and prepare for my initiation. How was a person supposed to take a tool like this? He continued fucking my mouth. "Ngg, ngg, ngg," I went as he propelled himself into me. My jaw began to ache as I desperately tried to keep from scratching him with my teeth, but to no avail. I must have been getting him some, but it was impossible not to. I felt like I was doing a bad job, which made me want to try harder, but there was nothing that I could do. He was in complete control and there was nothing else to do anyways. This must have just been the way with him. I wonder if anyone had ever successfully deep throated him at all. After about five minute of pummeling my face he asked Tom the question that I was hoping to avoid. "Hey, does this one fuck yet?" I kind of cringed inside; knowing it was inevitable, for goodness sake please let him be gentler if he tried that way. I couldn't take it. "Well tonight he does, but I think we were waiting for Silver," said Tom. "Well tell them to get their asses back her I don't have all night," spouted Spider. Tom gave him an odd look, probably about the having all night remark and then said, "Ok, well lets go set him up I'll page Silver." They brought me to my feet and took me in to an adjoining room that I hadn't seen the entrance to before. By the bar was a felt curtain, behind which was this little room. The word dungeon comes to mind, but really isn't fair, more of a sex pad would be accurate, but with how they were acting and what was expected of me, dungeon was more in line. I was told to strip down out of my clothes and stand in the center of the room. A bar stool was brought in and placed in front of me. Pushing on my back they had me lean over so my belly was on the padded part of the stool. I was told to hold onto the foot supports and hold my head back. The sensation of exposure was similar to that I had felt with the professor, but now was even more ominous with the tow of them there and more men arriving. What had I gotten myself into? Within minutes the room was full of the five men that I would be serving from now on. They stood around me in a small circle with Mr. Silver in front. He began the ceremony. "John you have come here of your own free will by the order of the men standing here. Tonight you will be initiated as our boy. As our boy you will be expected to serve any of the five members sexually in anyways that they wish when asked. You will do this because you are by your nature a servant of your superior man and wish to please them. Do you understand, John?" "Yes Sir," I said meekly. "Say that you understand and accept as your own free will the position of sexual servant to the men in this room", Mr. Silver ordered. "I understand that I am the sexual servant of the men in this room, Sir. It is my, umm, own free will." I said nervously, hoping I got it right. "Very good. You are to understand that at anytime you are able to break this bond by refusing to pleasure one of us sexually, but by doing so you will not be allowed to pleasure any of us ever again. Is this clear?" Mr. Silver queried. "Yes Sir. It is clear," I replied. "Good, now it is our tradition that you must as your first act beg for our cocks in your mouth and ass and take them all until we are pleased on this evening. Then will your servitude start" He waited as if expecting an answer. The silence hung in the room. Until then I had just been responding to him exactly and I didn't pick up on him wanting me to actually beg right now. "Well," he said sternly, "Beg." I gulped and said, "Please Sirs fuck my mouth and ass and let me be your servant." "Each of us by name boy." "Please, Mr. Silver would you fuck my mouth and ass, Sir." "Please, Mr. Mason would you fuck my mouth and ass, Sir." "Please, Tom would you fuck my mouth and ass, Sir." "Please, Mark would you fuck my mouth and ass, Sir." "Please, umm, Mr. Spider would you fuck my mouth and ass, Sir." I cringed as I said the words, especially the last part about Spider fucking my ass. They got to work. Tom started out behind me with Mark in front. Mark' sweet cock was a delight to behold again. I couldn't easily keep my head back the whole way so he kind of got up under me and held both hands on the back of my head and fucked my mouth. There was no foreplay. This was theater and the show was on. Behind me Tom pulled my rear down a bit and then slid his lubed member up inside of me. He was surprisingly hard for having just cum. It reminded me of when he had jokingly told me about the guy that beat off before the hooker. If Tom was going to fuck me right then until he came again it might be a long night. He pushed up inside me sliding easily past my hole and I felt him within my depths The sensation of the two cocks inside me at one time was one of excitement and confusion. In my prior encounters I could concentrate on the power coming from one man and accept it, move with it. Now my mind kept flipping back and forth. Mark would slip into my throat and I would gag a little which would draw my attention and then suddenly, from behind a deep spike would light me up and a shock would run up my spine. It didn't take me long to figure out that there was no way I could be anything but a totally submissive passive fucktoy for this to work at least until I got a little more used to it. The position itself wasn't really so bad, leaning over the bar stool as I was. The angles of the cocks coming from the front and behind were natural and I didn't have to strain to keep my position. Before long, maybe because Tom was not as large as the others or because I had already got the pleasure of bringing him to orgasm that day, I started concentrating on Mark's cock and Just how sweet it felt pulsating my mouth. How his balls swung back and forth as he fucked my face. My thoughts went back to him beating off on my face and the taste of his seed. How I knelt there with just a piece of wood between me and hundreds of unknowing people on the dance floor and serviced his sweet meat through the night. Then, just as I was getting into the rhythm of things, they switched on me. Tom pulled out and went somewhere in the room and Mason took Mark's place in front of me. Who was walking behind? Mark. Oh no. He was so big. Spider was probably thicker and more to worry about, but Mark's tools was a finely crafted spear perfectly proportioned eight inches. There was nothing for it now I was about to get fucked good. The professor must have sensed my fear, because he gently patted me on the head, but there was no reprieve, he merely stuffed he cock my mouth and started to pump his hips. I rocked my head with the motion humming "mmhmm" as he got going Before I had found it easy to focus in on Mark's oral thrusts, because Tom had not been working me too hard, but now it was behind that concerned me. Mark held one hip with his hand and with the other guided himself up between my love cheeks. There was pressure at the entrance and then he worked his way into me. I took in a deep breath as he crossed the threshold and for a second I completely lost my mind. I simply cannot describe the way every single nerve ending in my body screamed out to me that there was an invader in my loins. And he just kept coming, not fast but steady. Mason kindly took my mouth and started fucking it vigorously to take my mind off it, or at least that was the effect. For one second I was released from the stranglehold my anxiety had placed upon me. That one second the sweet large meat that was filling my rear seemed to fit just right. It was enough for me to accept it. I still felt it. Oh yeah I felt it to my core as he rocked back and forth. His rod was working back and forth on my special spot and my little cock was full to bursting. I started squealing. In, out any direction it didn't matter, just a perfect mix of agony and ecstasy mixed together. There was an entirely different plane of existence and I was on it now. All of my senses became all the more acute and I started to ride back on him wanting more. All of this must have had the effect of turning on Mr. Mason something mad for he started just fucking my face like a rag doll. The rule may have been that they all were to take my mouth and ass, but with the sheer gusto he was putting in there was no way he was lasting. It was dirty it was raw, just pure sex as both of the men were now in full swing. I was torn wide open, a little sex doll that responded with moans and tears and begs for more. It was too much for the professor to take and he called out, "take it now!" and shoved his cock balls deep, planting his seed deep down my throat. Seeing this Mark started fucking like an animal. I nearly passed out but for the fact he was so close himself. He roared in a guttural way and rammed home the last thrust. Some guys will tell you that when a man cums in their ass they don't feel it. There is simply too much going on down there already, or maybe they think they do but they aren't sure. I was never more sure of anything in my life. It felt like Mark was planting his seed so deep it would come out my mouth. The sounds of the two men abated and there was actually applause from the other men. Silver moved to take the spot behind me, but he was too late. Spider was so worked up from what he had just seen, that he just jumped on like the next contestant in a bull ride. His entrance was not delicate and I winced with pain as his thickness spread me to the limit. Tears dripped from my eyes as I adjusted. With Mark there had been a deep overwhelming penetration, but Spider was all about stretching my hole. I gripped the bars of the stool tightly unable to raise my head to accept Silver's waiting cock in front of me. And Spider released himself into my loins. He roared with every shot, "Yeah take it. Yeah!" There wasn't the feeling of his actual cum the way there had been with Mark, but when he pulled out it still felt like his massive cock was in me. Oh there was the relief that he wasn't stretching my pucker hole any more, but I was thoroughly opened up and knew it. Silver took me off the stool and rested me on my knees. He would feed me in his more civilized fashion. He stroked my head in a loving manner as he slipped it in to me. My hands fell to my sides, the tension ran out of my shoulders as my head tilted back and accepted the cock massaging my weary lips. His fiery stiffness held me up, his cock docked to my mouth, a peg fitting perfectly in the hole. The slick ribbed piston worked my mouth as I dreamily stared into his eyes. My new owner had his way that was really my way and we intermingled as one in a rocking motion of lust that was sure to culminate in an ultimate pleasure. He rode me, the undulations like the waves of the oceans, his sweet cock the tide that drew me back to shore. There was no need to stray, the succulent hanging cherries would feed me, give me strength to carry on. Then gently the floodgates of his passion released and filled my mouth with a lake of wonderstruck softness. My body buckled in acceptance. I trembled at the simple power.