18 comments/ 57482 views/ 70 favorites Tenderness Ch. 01 By: Cruel2BKind *I now have my own laptop, so I will be able to write faster and more often. I know that I'm a terrible person for opening another story line, but this story practically wrote itself, it was like the keyboard was on fire! I will finish up my story lines and try to write no more then 2 at a time, that way I will be able to write faster and more concisely. Thank you all for your patience. All characters are 18+ One of my main complaints about Poor Simon was that it wasn't told from multiple points of view, and I have fixed that with this series, enjoy!* * "Get over here." Those eyes seemed to command. "Get over here and suck my cock, that's all you're good for anyway." I whimpered and touched my cock harder, squeezing the slender shaft that was wet with my saliva and loving the hard pressure of my hand. I loved the pressure but ached with shame on why it was my hand, and not someone else's stoking my meek little cock. I watched the man on my laptop, a big muscular man with a shaved body and a huge cock, and unreal porn-star cock. I longed to touch it, to touch him. He was holding it out of the reach of some lucky sub with red hair and a leash around his neck. The video was about forty minutes long and I was only ten minutes in, but I suddenly felt tired, and disgusted with myself. I rolled onto my back and stroked harder, with a little whimper I felt my pathetic, hateful little cock spasm and my balls pull close to my crotch. The spurts of come that splashed on my soft flat tummy and chest felt feverishly hot. I stayed there for a minute with tears leaking from my eyes and loneliness eating me from the inside out like a rat. I had heard of a method of torture used by the Chinese army. They would put a rat under a copper bowl on the prisoner's stomach, and put hot coals on top. Not only would the coals burn the person, but the rat would get panicked and chew a hole in the prisoners stomach trying to get away. That's what the loneliness felt like; like a rat that was gnawing into my heart instead of my stomach. I was twenty-four and all alone. Tears leaked from my swollen lids as I wiped myself up and rolled onto my stomach to cry myself to sleep. --- I guess that for a gay man who wanted to meet other men, I had the worst job in the world. I worked at an establishment where 9 nights out of ten, I would be the only person with a Y-chromosome in the entire building. I worked at an exclusively lesbian bar called Purple Rain. I mainly served two kinds of drinks, the ridiculously colorful and surgery kind or the butch kind. The butch kind was mostly bull Lesbians who wanted to look tough by drinking only shots, and never a colorful drink. At first it hurt my feelings when a few of the really drunk women started hitting on me, thinking I was a girl. It was a Friday night that I met two of the most influential people of my entire life. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was about six feet tall with broad shoulders and a lean athletic body. He looked young and sexy and was here with a group of girls that had just brought him for the novelty. He was dancing out on the crowded floor and his body moved in a sleek lithe way, he was like walking, dancing, jiving sex out on the floor. Even a few of the lesbians were checking him out. I served drinks; my cheeks flushed deeper and deeper and my heart raced faster and I hugged close to the bar to hide the aching boner in my pants. He was looking at me. There could be no mistake. This beautiful god-like man was giving me curious, interested glances with a sexy wolfish grin. When I saw those teeth, I felt like I would faint dead away. He came up to the bar, his body loose with tiredness from his frantic dance, I could see a rill of sweat on his temple that faded into his short blonde hair. "Hey, sweetheart." I melted. For a panicky moment I literally thought I was going to fall as all the strength simply poured out of my knees and my groin surged warmly. My engorged cock bumped the inside of the bar. "Um—hi." I felt so stupid, so utterly stupid that I could no longer look him in the eye and I looked down at my hands, mentally screaming at myself for my stupidity. My cheeks were so red and I felt nervous moisture in my armpits and back. "Damn sweetheart, I won't bite... What's your name?" His voice was full of warmth and laughter, I felt so shy and awkward, but also filled with a sudden hope that was savage and warm and made me lightheaded and weak with its potency. "Aaron. My name is Aaron Beck." --- I couldn't believe my luck, my sheer luck! Not even twenty-four hours ago, I had been crying like a little girl because I felt so lonely and depressed. Now, this beautiful man was talking with me, laughing at my clumsy jokes, and undressing me with his beautiful blue eyes. Those looks made me nervous. And I found myself thinking about sex. I wondered if he would be patient with me. I was very shy and afraid when it came to sex. My one boyfriend had gotten tired of me getting 'so damn jumpy' when he tried to get me over my fears. That's why he dumped me. I mentally slapped myself. We were just talking. If we ever got to sex (my fingers were crossed) I hoped that he would be gentle. "Hey, sweetheart? I have to go. Do you wanna come out back quick?" I nodded, not trusting myself not to squeal with glee. I quickly begged Jesse to take over my shift ten minutes early. She saw him and gave me a quick wink. "Good luck!" She hissed. I pulled out my tucked-in shirt to hide my small erection; I didn't want him to see how small I was. The back was a narrow ally filled with dumpsters and puddles and a narrow potholed road that supply trucks could squeeze into for the various restaurants. He was waiting for me, leaning against the brick wall, looking like a model in his tight jeans and silky, half-unbuttoned shirt and his sexy stubbly cheeks. His eyes glowed like the blue flames of low-burning candles. I don't know what I expected. But it wasn't this. I took a few steps towards him and the next thing I knew, my glasses were hanging from one ear, warm blood was leaking from my mouth and spurting from my nose and the pain was numb and tingly at first, like my face had fallen asleep. I felt his hand gripping my ponytail and I stared at the brick wall numbly, dimly understanding that he had grabbed my hair and smashed me face-first into the wall. Why? I thought stupidly, tasting my blood, beginning to feel the pain. Then he hauled back my head and smashed my face into the wall again, this time I heard the sick crunch as my nose broke. My mouth opened and I let out a weak cry that seemed more out of confusion and bewilderment then pain. My eyebrow had split open and one of my eyes was blinded with blood. He smashed my head twice more into the wall with the viciousness of an angry drunk slamming his fist on a bar. Then all of my thoughts pretty much stopped. -------- DANIEL -------- It wouldn't be fair to say that my sister, Annabel was in the closet. It was closer to say that she was curled into a fetal position at the crawl space in the back of the closet with a set of chains (Conveniently provided by her subconscious) holding her there. Not a single one of my family knew how Annabel had gotten this way. To tell the truth, I think that most of us were pretty damn confused. First off, there was our uncle Jack, married to our wonderful, transgender aunt Marie. Marie had started off her life as Mark Denborough, and when she was eighteen she had put on a cute skirt, waxed herself hairless and never looked back. Then there were our three homosexual cousins (one the adopted child of Jack and Marie) Jason, Carrie, and Laura. And last, but not least, there was ME! My parents were loving, our extended family (with the exception of a preacher who didn't even send Christmas cards anymore) was accepting, and here was my baby sister sobbing her eyes out with longing and fear when my mom found an envelope filled with pictures of naked girls kissing. It took us a week to convince her that we weren't going to disown her, and another to convince her that we didn't hate her. It had taken me the rest of the month to convince her to go to a GLBT club to meet people. That's how I ended up chaperoning my shy, terrified sister at the Purple Rain, and gaping dry-mouthed at a gorgeous little bartender. I don't think he ever saw me; I was lurking in a darkened booth where several couples were doing some heavy petting and making out. I felt ridiculous and somehow prissy sitting on the edge of the booth, turning my eyes away from the couples (who were giving me some very strange looks) and feeling like a kid who has gotten his first schoolyard crush. Puppy love, I think they call it. He was so cute that it should have been illegal. I loved it when guys had longer hair, and this gorgeous boy had a shoulder-length ponytail. He had cute square-rimmed glasses that framed his expressive pretty eyes. He had a slender oval face with high cheekbones and a few messy strands of hair that he kept tucking behind his ear in a way I just thought was adorable. He had one of those smooth slender faces and full lips, when the light hit him just right he looked like a girl. I felt like a dirty old man. One part of me kept insisting that I was only 28, and 28 wasn't 'that' old. The other part of me insisted that I must be at least ten years older, that kid couldn't have been more then 18. 19 tops. Another part of me just kept trying to imagine what we would look like together. Even if he was gay (I was pretty sure he was, but my Gaydar was terrible) he probably had had dozens of boyfriends, and I had only had two. Plus, compared to him, I wasn't exactly a catch. I had a bit of a belly going on, and I was hairy, and I was just too fucking big. I was really clumsy because I always felt like I should've been born a smaller man. So I sat there, thirsty, worrying, and pathetic. I finally got the thin persistent courage to at least go up to the bar and buy a drink. To be close to that pretty oval face and those dark pretty eyes, when a man I hadn't even noticed threw himself into a stool and instantly started up a conversation. My courage wilted, and I sagged back into my seat, tasting bitter disappointment. The man up there was young, thin, confident, and sexy. In short, everything I wasn't. Then I saw Annabel grinding with a lean brunette girl with a nose stud. She was laughing and happy. She looked so free. I spent the next hour or so torn between bitterness (especially when they went out the back, him blushing adorably), and brotherly love. I hadn't had a problem with quitting cigarettes. I still smoked, but only one or two a week, and usually only when I was stressed or annoyed. I went out front, but several people were in line and I didn't want to piss them off by fouling their air. I hooked around back into an ally. I almost tripped over something soft and yielding. As my foot hit the obstacle, it let out a heartrending moan. I looked down, and my first feelings were of shock and horror. I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach with a heavily padded fist. The bartender was at my feet, curled up into a tiny fetal ball. His thin trembling body was naked and dirty and wet. I could see blood smeared on the fragile hands, and his long hair was in a disarray. I swooped to my knees and dropped the half-smoked butt into a puddle. I eased my hands under him. One arm under the fragile crook of his knees and the other around his thin back and under his arms. His head lolled back and I felt my stomach twist and become a ball of loose sick jelly. His face was unrecognizable. His nose was a swollen squashed lump, the size, color, and shape of a strawberry. His lips and eyes were swollen, his lips red from half dried blood, his puffy eyes the dull shiny black/purple/red of bad shiners. There was a split on his forehead and eyebrow and both of his lips so his face was covered in blood. I ran to the parking lot. Annabel had her own car, thankfully. The bouncing jolted the poor bleeding thing in my arms to consciousness. I saw his puffy eyes slit open, and his swollen bleeding lips parted in a piteous moan. I fumbled open the car door, babbling like an idiot, my mind running around in idiot circles like a dog chasing it's tail. "You're gonna be okay." I soothed, over and over. "Shh, your gonna be okay... gonna be okay... Shh." I set him down in the passengers seat, feeling softness and wetness as I put my hand under his ass to ease him down. He cried out and the sound was so weak. I saw my hand in the dim yellow streetlight. In the weird orangey-yellow light, my right hand looked like it was covered in some viscous dark fluid. Chocolate syrup maybe, or brown paint. It was hot. My hand was covered in this boy's blood. "Jesus Motherfucking Christ." I almost whimpered it. I hopped into the car and drove as fast as I could, only pausing for a moment to buckle the crying boy's seatbelt and throw my light spring coat over him. "I'm sorry." He whispered. His eyes were glassy and huge in the streetlights. His voice was the timid, frightened voice of a child who has broken something valuable at a birthday party. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He kept repeating it. He wouldn't stop. "Shh" I said desperately. His voice was like a file on my frayed nerves. I felt tight and stretched, as if something in me would snap. I don't know how I kept my sanity, driving at breakneck speed with that poor bleeding child begging for forgiveness in my car. -------- AARON -------- The man who saved me was blurry. I couldn't see him through the blood and the tears. My body screamed with pain when the car stopped and he picked me up. I was bundled into his jacket. First I had bled on his car seat and now I was bleeding on his jacket. "I'm S-Sorry." "Stop saying that!" His voice was thick and clogged, as if he were crying and I saw his brown eyes and I felt sick. The hospital was so bright it hurt my eyes. I kept graying out from the pain. I felt myself being put down onto a padded wheeled table and I clung to my rescuers hand. "Don't leave." I begged weakly. I was reeling with pain, drunk on it. Not happy-drunk. I was sick-drunk on the pain. Like the people who have so much alcohol that they see creatures crawling on the wall and they claw furrows into their skin to stop the room from spinning. They swabbed thick clots of half-congealed blood from my ass. It hurt and I let out weak screaming sobs of pain and shame and sick, sick, fear. He was in the room, the man who rescued me. He was pacing behind a thin translucent curtain. Muttering angrily and sometimes talking to a thin tired-looking black woman who was one of the people examining me. I let out a hurt retching noise and I felt nauseated and filthy. I felt so dirty. He ran in with a big metal bowl and he held it under my chin. He held my head, one hand on my chin and one keeping the hair out of my face as I retched into the bowl. Shushing me, soothing me. His hands were so gentle. I grayed out again. This time for good. -------- DANIEL -------- They let me stay. I guess they kind of had to. They had taken him to a room to do a rape kit on him, and the little bartender had the strength to lift his thin torso and beg for me to stay. His hand, small and cold and wiry had gripped my wrist with a kind of desperate, ferocious strength. They made me stay behind the curtain, I could hear him crying, and those weak sobs tore at my heart like nothing else could. I asked a nurse what they were doing, and her face was tired and sagging. "Poor kid's scared shitless, and he's in a lot of pain. If I were you, I would just leave him alone." I heard deep urking noises from behind the curtain and I looked through; the kid was about to throw up. I held a bowl under his mouth and held his head while he vomited. The stuff in the bowl was thin and laced with blood. I wiped his swollen mouth, and I could feel his pulse in my fingertips as I cradled his skull, I could feel the blood that matted his long brown hair. A nurse took over, and the head nurse told me that I should stay in the lobby, and that the police could come later and ask me a few questions. "P-Please." His voice was so small. It was that same timid scared voice from the car. "Don't go... please d-don't go." His eyes shut. His face was a swollen, multicolored mess in the bright hospital lights. I was grateful to be allowed to stay. I sat in that small room as they cleaned and inspected the unconscious young man behind the curtain. I called Annabel to tell her why I had left, and I settled down to wait. It wasn't until I woke up hearing my name that I realized I had fallen asleep. "Daniel Arceiro?" I looked up and it was a heavyset man in a policeman's uniform. With him was a thin fortyish woman, his partner. I glanced at the bed. His face had been cleaned, but his hair was still matted with dried blood in places and the bruises and cuts stood out on his pale face like flags. He had a blindingly white strip of bandage across the bridge of his nose, which now looked somewhat normal shaped. He was covered up to his shoulders with a gray blanket and his shoulders were clothed in white, blue-patterned fabric that was unmistakably a hospital gown. His clothes were in an ally somewhere, probably covered in more of his blood. "Yeah." My voice was a hollow-sounding whisper. "Can we ask you some questions?" "Shh! He's sleeping. Yeah we can talk, but can we go to the lobby or something?" The woman nodded. As we left she spoke. "I am officer Olivia Kushner and this is David Reed." The clock said it was 3:16 AM. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and bought a coffee from this little café they had in the lobby. They asked me why I was at the Purple Rain. They asked about the bastard who had raped the bartender. They asked a few other questions. And I asked my own. "What's the kids name? I never, y'know, got to really talk with the poor bastard." "Aaron Beck, and he ain't a kid, he's 24. You gonna stay with him all night?" I didn't answer the question at first. I sipped my coffee and digested the shock that the frail young man in there was only four years younger then me, and not ten like I had figured. "Yeah. I want to be here when he wakes up." -------- AARON -------- The pain was everywhere. Its what made me wake up, and its what made me be afraid to wake up. When I did open my eyes, it was only to little slits and I could barely see from them. My glasses were still in an ally somewhere, shards of glass and a twisted plastic frame. My stomach felt sick and cold at that memory, at that knowledge. I bit back the sobs that wanted to bubble up into my mouth. I was done crying. I was nearly blind without my glasses, but I could still see the man who rescued me. He was napping in the chair, his head lolled to the side. All I could see was a blurred impression of muscular arms that stretched the sleeves of his shirt, and naturally dark-tanned skin, and handsome, spare features. Not sleek, but large and blocky, large nose, high cheekbones, strong chin and high forehead. I tried to speak, but what came out wasn't even close to a word. It was the sound a tired crow would make. It still woke him up. Even without my glasses and with my puffy eyelids I could see his dark eyes open in his tanned face. I could even see a smile that I knew was gentle and dazzling. A smile that made my swollen lips twitch into a smile of my own. "Hey Aaron, its really nice to see that you're awake. How do you feel?" I felt hurt and ashamed and bewildered and tired and so angry at myself for trusting that bastard that I wanted to throw something. I was scared and exhausted and humiliated. I felt like glass, ready to shatter. But that voice, that gentle, husky familiar voice.... Tenderness Ch. 01 "Better." I whispered, squinting into his blurry face. "I feel a lot better." "My name is Daniel Arceiro, call me Dan. Do you want me to get you something to drink? There's a vending machine in the hall and the nurse said that it was okay." He looked a little awkward, and while I couldn't be sure with my blurry vision, I had the distinct impression that he was blushing. "Yes please." I whispered foggily. "Thank you." He smiled, and did my heart beat a little faster at that smile? I think it did. "Water? Juice? Soda?" "Juice please." I rasped. He got up and practically ran to the vending machine. As he left, a nurse with frizzy red hair and pink scrubs walked in. She smiled at me while she glanced at my charts. "Sweet guy, he never really left, and I think he slept here. My name is Marie and I'll just take care of you for now. The Doc says that you will be able to leave today, and he will come by in a bit with some information about your insurance and so on. On a scale of one to ten how bad is the pain?" I shrugged and winced a little. "Um... I think about... seven." She shook some small white pills into her hand as Daniel came back with a bottle of apple juice. Marie looked up at him and smiled. "That's perfect Dan. Aaron, take your pills with some juice." I took a few sips of the sweet juice to clear my throat and then I swallowed three small white pills. "There you go." Marie said cheerfully. "Now I'm gonna leave, if you need anything you can press your call-button." Daniel sat down in his chair with a sigh and I sipped at the straw in the wide mouth of the juice bottle. "I want to thank you." I whispered hoarsely. "f-for everything." I couldn't help it, I started to cry. I tried to turn my face away from this wonderful man who had saved me, I didn't want to cry in front of him. I felt so dirty. "Aaron!" He cried, leaning forward a little. "Jesus Aaron, what's wrong? You were fine just a second ago..." He looked so confused. "Please go away." I whispered. That sounded so terrible but I couldn't help it. "Please. I d-duh-don't want you t-t-to see muh-me like th-this." I couldn't help flinching when he touched my hand with his big warm paw. "I've seen you worse, and I don't want you to be ashamed." The shyness was gone, he sounded furious and his voice was trembling. "That fucker who hurt you, it's his fault, not yours." I'd always hated crying. I hated how it made me look and feel, I hated how helpless crying always made me. I couldn't stop the sobs from where they boiled up my throat, deep sobs that hurt my chest and my heart and made all of my bruises throb. My mouth worked into an ugly sneer as I moaned with pain. Daniel, he was afraid to get in too close, to touch me, to frighten me. But he held my hand, engulfed it in two of his large calloused palms. Stroking my hand, cradling it. That one touch was more intimate and loving then any of the embraces or kisses by my one boyfriend. His voice was so gentle and soothing. My eyes were sore and gritty from crying so much. "I'm so s-sorry." I whispered. His hands tightened briefly on my wrist, and the bruise there ached. I had a brief and foggy memory of that monster twisting my wrist behind my back hard enough to make my shoulder creak in it's socket, holding me against the wall. I moaned low in my throat. "Please don't say that Aaron." His voice was thick and foggy and his mouth was working. "You said that last night. You said it over and over." Marie came in. "What's wrong? What's going on?" She saw my messy reddened face and I could dimly see the harsh frightened lines of her face smoothing out. "Sorry Aaron, but the police are here and they need to ask you some questions. Dan, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, Aaron probably wants some pri--" "N-No! P-Please don't g-g-go Daniel! Please?" I was scared. They were going to ask questions. I felt foggy and lost from the drug kicking in (thankfully the pain was getting better) and Daniel was the closest thing I had to a friend right now. Daniel enfolded both of my shaking hands in the big comforting nest of his. He looked up at Marie. "Am I allowed to stay if he wants me to?" I closed my sore and gritty eyes. I waited for her to refuse, but she didn't. She just went to the door and let the officers in. -------- DANIEL -------- Both of the police officers were trying to be gentle with him, I could tell. But they needed facts, and the facts were hard for poor Aaron to remember, and what little he did remember was blurry and inconsistent and very stressful for him. I held onto his hand, his cold little hand, and I could feel it shaking like a young bird in my hands. I felt sick while he was talking, but I tried as hard as I could not to show my revulsion or pity. I just tried to stay there, and keep him calm. Both officer Reed and officer Kushner were giving me incredulous looks, and I couldn't really blame them. I felt like shit, and it looked very bad. It looked like I was crushing on (which I was) trying to befriend (which I was) and trying to seduce (which I wasn't, but was having some guilty fantasies about) a traumatized young rape victim. I felt like the scummiest rescuer in the history of all good samaritans. I think that Aaron was a little bit loopy off of the pain medication, because otherwise I don't think he would have told us as much as he did. He looked down at the coverlet which was pooled around his sternum. "I was working at the Purple Rain, and normally there are no guys, but that night there were two." He gave me a shy look. I saw Reed scowl a little. The scowl lightened with concern as Aaron cried a little, three hoarse painful sobs. "I w-was so-o stuh-stuh-stupid! H-he wa-was dancing and... and..." Aaron was inconsolable for a minute or two. Reed and Kushner waited there, shooting daggers at me with their eyes as I tried to comfort him, rubbing his thin shoulder through the flimsy hospital gown and shushing him gently. "He came up to the bar," Aaron's voice was little more then a hoarse whisper. "and he was flirting with me. He seemed so nice." I clenched my jaw. I remembered, how Aaron had been laughing and giggling and looking so sweet and shy. Had the sick fuck been high? Or had he marked out Aaron for rape even then? "I remember, I asked Jessie to take my shift a few minutes early, he asked me to come out back with him, and I thought he wanted to give me a kiss." Kushner wrote something down on a pad. "Jessie who? Does she work at the Purple Rain often?" "Jessie Dufrane. Ma'am? I don't remember a lot after that happened. It was very, very blurred until Daniel showed up." I felt a guilty little thrill at hearing my name from his mouth. Even though his lips were swollen and purple and the voice was a rasp. Reed shifted forward. "Try. You never learned this man's name, so you need to give me the best description you can and try to describe what he did to you. Did you injure him in any way? The nurse says there was some foreign skin found under your fingernails, did you scratch him in a visible area? Anything you can remember will help us to find this guy." My respect for Reed grew a little, even though my heart was breaking a little. Aaron was so tired and hurt, and I wasn't looking forward to finding out what that sick man had done to him. Aaron sniffled a little, but his voice came out clear. "He was tall, but not huge-tall. About six feet, maybe a little more. I'm about 5'7", and he was about half a head taller then me. He had spiky blonde hair, very light blonde, ash blonde. He had very bright blue eyes, bright indigo almost. He was muscular, and thin. He had average shoulders, not broad, but not thin." Aaron gave me a look that almost broke my heart. He was so ashamed, so ashamed that he had dared to have a crush on the man who had raped him. "He had a small scar on his chin. It looked like a bass clef." He saw the officers uncomprehending eyes. I took a pen from the side of the table. "Its a small symbol in music. It's at the beginning of every line in a peice of music from a bass instrument. Bass guitar, bass saxophone, tuba, trombone, bass clarinet, they all have the bass clef symbol in front of them. This is what a treble clef looks like, which you've probably already seen, and this is what a bass clef looks like." I drew the French violin shape of the treble clef and the simple curve of the bass clef. Aaron was looking at me with wide eyes. "I played trombone in high school." "Bass guitar." I said quietly. Kushner cleared her throat and Aaron flushed a little. "I remember scratching him. When I first went out there he...he stunned me by grabbing my hair and hitting my face into the w-wall. A f-few times." I felt sick. His voice was breaking a little near the end but he took a few deep breaths to clear it. "I was a little more awake after a few minutes. He... he had me against the wall with my arm twisted b-behind me. I managed to twist away briefly, and I tried to crawl away, but when he grabbed my shoulder I scratched him. Right here." He pulled his right hand briefly out of my grip to touch his chest, up high and to the right, just below his armpit. He put his hand back into mine. "I managed to kick him once, at the knee, before he took my shoes off. He swore, and held onto his knee. It hurt him, but after that he st-started h-hitting me, and I don't remember anything after th-that." Aaron cried a little. He was so tired from crying already that it was just a few hoarse little hitches in his chest. After that the police were mostly done. --- Aaron wasn't going to be discharged for another five hours or so, and he was very tired. I offered to give him a ride home to his apartment when he was done, and he accepted gratefully. He was so tired that he fell asleep mid-sentence. "Thank you so much for all of your..." His sleepy little mumble deteriorated into a soft snore. It was actually really good timing, because I needed to get some work done. I went out to the lobby, ordered a tuna salad sub and some coffee, went out to the car to grab my laptop and got to working. I didn't look the part whatsoever, but I was an editor for the Star Tribune. I did most of my work away from the office, and I had nice flexible hours. I was a big hulk, half Italian, quarter Greek, and a quarter Ojibwe. One of my coworkers thought it was a compliment when she said 'you could be really sexy if you dropped a few pounds.' Bitch. Anyway, I stayed in the lobby, sipping and eating and getting as much work done as possible on my limited amount of sleep and high level of stress. I didn't get a lot done, I kept thinking about him, hoping he was okay. After about two hours I gave up when I realized that Aaron had no clothes. It had been overlooked, and in a normal rape case I guess that the family would have brought clothes but no family or friends had showed up, and according to Reed, someone from the police station had gone to the ally to pick up his shredded blood-soaked clothes as evidence. I went to the gift shop, and I managed to find overpriced shorts, a t-shirt that had the name of the hospital on it, and a pair of boxers that had 'nice bass' and a picture of a fish on the ass. I wanted to know his shoe size before I bought a pair of plastic thongs there. I put all of the things in a plastic bag and tried to get a little more work done. -------- AARON -------- When I woke up my mouth tasted horrible. I felt tired still, and my head ached and the medication was starting to wear off. But I woke up with a smile on my face because Daniel was in the room, typing away at a laptop. He saw me and my heart melted just a little at his blurry smile. "I got you a little something. Marie came in earlier to give you these." He handed me a plastic bag and a small orange bottle filled with lozenge-shaped yellow pills. "She said to take one in the morning and one at night, but skip it if the pain isn't too bad and don't take more then one pill every eight hours." I opened the bag and saw that he had bought me some clothes. They looked a little big for me, but that didn't matter. "Daniel? Thank you, for everything." It felt so wrong, having a crush on the man who had carried me to the hospital bleeding from my face and nose and rectum. "No problem Aaron, really it isn't. Do you need some help getting up?" I probably could have managed it, but I wanted to feel his warm gentle hands. --- He seemed a little jumpy as I directed him to my apartment building. We had been talking about his work, and my lack thereof. I had taken college to become an English teacher, but my one disastrous employment had lasted four weeks before the superintendent noticed a rainbow bumper sticker pasted to my shitty little car. He had fired me, and then warned local school districts that I was gay. It was a point against me, and even in very liberal settings no one wanted the risk. We stopped by my apartment building and Daniel put his hand over his face. I wished that I had my glasses so bad, even a few feet away, I could barely see his face. "Aaron? Can I ask you something?" I had heard the expression 'my heart was in my throat' before, but i had never felt it. I could feel my pulse in my neck and jaw. I didn't trust my voice, so I just nodded, and leaned in a little closer. I could see him a little better. He didn't have the lean wild sex appeal of the man who had raped me, he wasn't conventionally handsome either, but his face was spare and strong and his dark eyes were full of anxiety and liking. "This feels so wrong, but it kinda feels right too. I know that we just met, and I know what you went through, but I really like you, and maybe we can be friends?" He looked so hopeful, and I could read that he didn't just want to be friends. Maybe at first. I didn't care, I was just so relieved that he had dragged this shy wanting out into the open. It had taken the worst night of my life to find a kind, sensitive, lovable man. "Do you have a pen? We can exchange numbers." His smile was so wide, I probably would have been able to see it if I were blind. Tenderness Ch. 02 *Just a quick warning, there is no sex in this chapter, and it's mostly for development. But good things will come for those who wait... ^_^ All Characters are 18+* --------AARON-------- The first three days after the attack were definitely the worst. I had made a firm pact with myself to call it 'the attack' and not 'the rape', because whenever I heard, thought of, or used the word 'rape', I would get teary and sniffly and stupid. I had been attacked on a Friday, and Daniel had asked me to go on a date on Monday. The three days in between were the worst. I insisted on going to work on Saturday and I regretted it. I was still in a lot of pain, counting the minutes until I could take that pill. I was weepy, and sometimes I would break out into sniffles when someone asked about my black eyes, or sometimes for no reason at all. Mostly it was the little things, things they never show about the soap-opera rape victims. Like how I started bleeding after I went to the bathroom and had a small nervous breakdown over weather or not I should call the hospital. Like the pity in my friend Jesse's eyes, or how guilty she was over letting me go to the back with him. Like how much I cried when I was trying to help the police sketch artist make a portrait of Mr. Rapist. That's what the artist kept calling him, Mr. Rapist. At least she had been kind and sympathetic. Mr. Rapist had worn a condom, but it had broken. They had found traces of semen in my anus, but not enough to do a DNA test. I didn't remember him putting on a condom, but they had found a scrap of white latex in there as well. Here is another thing that never happens when someone gets raped on TV or in a novel. I contracted an STD. Mr. Rapist had Chlamydia. I went to the clinic and the doctor put me on antibiotics, Azithromycin, and another pill that I couldn't remember. The doctor told me that only one in four men who contracted Chlamydia even experienced the systems, and I hoped that Mr. Rapist didn't know he had it until his dick rotted off. The best thing in those worst days was Daniel. We didn't have our first official date until Monday, but on Sunday I heard my doorbell ring in the middle of my millionth little breakdown of the day. I swore, wiped my eyes with a cold paper towel to make them look less red and went to the door. Percocet, the pain pills, took the pain away but they also made me a little loopy and weepy. I looked through the little glass eye in the door and I saw him clearly for the first time. He looked nervous as hell, and was standing at the door wearing a dark green cotton shirt that was soft and clinging in all of the right places and blue jeans. The sleeves were rolled up to show his muscular forearms, and in one hand he held a laptop case and in the other he had a large paper bag with grease stains on the side. I opened the door after frantically dabbing my eyes with the cold towel. Only after I had opened the door did I remember that I was only wearing baggy red plaid pajama pants and a loose t-shirt. My hair was a mess and my eyes were puffy with crying and lack of sleep. I must have looked like shit, but Daniel only flashed this beautiful shy smile. Daniel was such a big guy, and he was so clumsy! When I answered the door he started tripping over his words trying to explain why he was here a day early. "Hi Aaron! I know it's a day too soon, but there's a Thai restaurant that I always go to that's about a block away, and I was trying to call you but I think your cell phone is dead, not that I'm blaming you for your cell being dead, but I ordered some extra and I hope you like Thai and I was wondering..." The babbling run-on sentence sort of faded off, and even with his naturally dark skin tone, his blush was very deep. He looked so shy and insecure, and in this big manly body, it was sort of cute. "Hi to you too!" I giggled a little as he gave a bashful 'oops' smile. I was blasphemously grateful that my voice wasn't still wavering. "Please come in! Thanks for coming Daniel." I opened the door and let him in. My apartment was very small, one bedroom, one bathroom, and a little kitchenette.. I didn't even have a table to eat at. I usually ate on my bed while watching the fifteen-inch TV. "I know it's not much, I usually eat on the bed... Can I get you a drink? I got water, milk, mountain dew..." That impromptu dinner date should have been awkward as hell, but we sat on my bed, nibbling Thai food and talking about his job and family, about the best modern horror movies, the flaws of time travel, favorite pop music, and heaven only knows what else. We talked about everything on that mattress, and we talked so long that I forgot about taking my pain pill on time, that's how much he distracted me. He had come over at six, and he got up reluctantly to say he had to go home and feed his pets at about nine thirty. When I asked him what pets he had, he listed off an iguana, a cat, two corn snakes, a tortoise and an ancient sleepy husky named Noel. That was probably the most awkward moment of the night, when I got a sick fluttery stomach and wondered if I should kiss him. He solved my anxiety in a heartbeat as he leaned in and gave me a brief peck on the cheek. He looked thrilled. --------DANIEL-------- Sometimes I wondered if something was wrong with me. Aaron Beck was a cute, sweet, sensitive little guy with the world's most beautiful smile. He liked bad SciFi movies, Lost, Nirvana, and Smashing Pumpkins. He even liked me, for some unfathomable reason. In ordinary circumstances, I would've loved every moment of it and hoped that it would last. But Aaron Beck had also been brutally beaten and raped, and that changed things. I told Annabel and my brother Marcus about Aaron. I told my mother, and I told my friends at the editors office (the 'you need to lose weight' bitch excluded), and with one exception, they all thought that I was moving too fast, if not in the wrong for trying to date such a bruised guy in the first place. The one exception, which surprised the hell out of me, was my boss at work. I hadn't even meant for her to hear, but she had overheard me talking with my coworkers and later on she called me into her office to 'ask me about a piece I was doing'. My boss was Sharon Delesseps, a slender woman with greying blonde curls who always wore red, or at least fuchsia. Slender was a kind word to use on her, usually when she did something unpopular the common epithet attached to Delesseps was 'scrawny bitch'. Her voice was crisp and brisk. "I heard you talking about some poor bastard who got raped. Don't try to interrupt Arceiro, I don't care that you're gay, I've known that for years and I don't care. I just wanted to put my input in on the situation." She leaned forward while I stood and sweated uncomfortably in the coolness of her office, simultaneously hanging on her every word and wishing that I could be anywhere else but here. "It's your say or not if you start dating the boy, but don't you dare try and get out of his life." She glared at me. "If a word of this gets out of this office you will be fired so fast that they will hear the sonic boom in Chicago. Swear on it Arceiro!" My mouth was dry. "None of this will leave the office, Ms. Delesseps." "Good. When I was twenty years old I was going steady with the man that probably would have been my husband. I walked home from an old friends house at about five in the afternoon, and I was abducted and raped by a man in a blue sedan." I couldn't get a word in edgewise, not of apology or shock or even a question. "After he finished he threw me out of his car without stopping in front of my home. Henry never spoke to me again and I tried to kill myself twice because of the silence. No one wants to talk to a rape victim. They don't know how to sympathize and they are too afraid to get out of their comfortable little bubble even to stop some poor girl from slitting her wrists in the tub. Right now if you are talking to this boy, seeing him, being with him, don't stop. If things get too messy and you need to leave, make sure to clean up your mess and get this kid a therapist. Hell, get him one now. Get him a fucking cat for all I care. The kid needs a warm body to talk to, and make sure he has one whenever he needs it. What the hell are you still doing in here?" "Thank you Ms. Delesseps." --- It was her frank analysis/demand that made me stop at Aaron's apartment on Sunday, and I had a really good time. I had been afraid that all that was really holding us together was the circumstance of me bringing him into the hospital, and that in real life we would be total opposites. I had still been holding onto this fear when he brought up how excited he was for the 'Firefly' Marathon on the SyFy channel this Wednesday. It would start at eight in the morning and end at eight in the evening, and it would include several episodes that had never been aired. Firefly was my favorite show ever. We gushed like fangirls over how awesome the show was, and about how much we had loved watching it as teenagers. Then we talked about which characters we liked best. I liked Wash and Zoe, He liked Wash and Kaylee. "But to be perfectly honest, even though he was a complete asshole, and just the comic relief in most of the episodes, I always had a huge crush on Jayne." Right then and there, he looked so cute with his mussed hair, fawning over my favorite things and embarrassed about crushing on the biggest, hairiest guy in the series. I could have leaned in and kissed him, right on those perfect full lips that were still bruised from his brutal attack. "What about you? Who did you like?" He looked genuinely curious. "Simon, duh!" I did a little hand-flop with a ridiculous little gay-voice thrown in. Aaron laughed so hard that he nearly choked on his chicken curry. --- One thing that had always made dates awkward for several of my (straight) friends and my (straight) brother, was that there was such a limit of imagination. I listened to my brother complain that he really liked this girl at school, but he didn't have money to go to a restaurant, and there were no good movies playing. I think that a creative and well-thought out date by my brother's standards was going bowling. All through growing up I heard about my brother and his straight friends fumbling through what seemed like the most boring dates ever. Except for the obvious, (i.e., them getting way more sex and acceptance then I ever would...), I never envied them one bit, and promised that if I was ever in charge, that I would try to make varied and interesting outings that would only be 'dates' in the sense that two people who cared for each other were hanging out together. It went so well! --------AARON-------- When five o' clock got closer and closer, I got nervous and panicky. I had no reason to be, and my rational mind kept telling me to calm the fuck down. First I got dressed in slacks and a button-down shirt, and then I remembered that he told me to wear something casual, but kind of nice, so I took off the slacks and I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, then I gave a frustrated cry and tore off those clothes because they were too sloppy, and I nearly had a little breakdown because I absolutely hated khakis and the way they looked on me. In short, I was a frazzled little bundle of nerves because of my wardrobe. I had never felt as effeminate and stupid as I did now. At about fifteen minutes to five, I found a choice of clothes that seemed the least offensive. The jeans were very dark and I liked the way they fit on me, not too tight, but form-fitting. On top I wore a clingy wine-colored sweater with a high neck that hid the remainder of the cruel bruises and bite marks on my neck. I kept messing with my hair. Daniel had told me that he thought my ponytail was cute, so I kept it in and tried to arrange sexy little flyaways to frame my face. I had always liked the shape of my face, oval and slender. I carefully and judiciously used cover-up around my eyes. I looked like a fist-fighting raccoon without it. Nothing could be done about red-purple-black nose, as it was too sensitive even for the makeup brush. I considered putting makeup on, but I didn't see the point. I was so swollen up and bruised that it seemed futile to try and make my face pretty. I put little silver hoops in my ears, and sat on the edge of the bed, eight minutes left and waiting. Some alien had taken over my clock, and the green digital numbers were going abnormally slow. I tapped the clock nervously. I fidgeted, I cleaned my kitchenette, I tapped the alarm clock that was my only clock. I suddenly remembered that I would need to take my pills. I rummaged around in my junk drawer and found a little black cylinder. It was one of those tiny plastic containers that they used to hold rolls of developed film before digital cameras. I put my night-pills in there. The yellow lozenge of the pain pill, the pink and white plastic tablet filled with powder, and the white compressed-powder disc that I took for the Chlamydia. After a moments thought, I also put in a blue breath mint, just in case. I looked down at the little assortment of various chemicals in pill form, and suddenly felt a wave of depression. I had a narcotic and two antibiotics next to a blue-speckled Altoid in hopes that I would be able to give Daniel a kiss, a real kiss. It seemed so incongruent, and so hopeless. Just so messy. I hated Mr. Rapist with every piece of me. Just as the tears were welling up in the corners of my eyes, I heard a brisk knock on the door. The feeling in my chest was like my heart had grown wings and was trying to burst out. I ran to the door and opened it, wiping away tears and patches of flesh-colored makeup. Daniel was standing there, looking just as nervous as I had been minutes before. He was wearing faded Levi's with copper rivets, a black shirt unbuttoned enough to show a white undershirt and a few curls of chest hair. His hands were shoved in his pockets and his coarse strait black hair was in a ponytail pulled back from his face. He smiled and from and instant he went from looking nervous and tough to looking sweet and a little shy. I felt my breath catch in my throat. He didn't feel good about his body, but I felt warm and a little aroused by the way his broad shoulders strained the fabric, just a little. I liked the way those faded Levi's fit on him, front and back, and the sight of the shirtsleeves rolled up a little to see those muscular forearms made me gasp a little. We stood there in the doorway for a moment, just checking each other out, and then we realized what we had been doing and burst out laughing. "You look fantastic." I whispered, feeling inevitable heat rush up my neck into my cheeks and ducking my head, unable to look at him for a moment. "Thanks Aaron, you don't look half bad yourself." He was kidding a little, but I could tell that he really meant it. Bruised face and all. "Wanna come out to the car? I have some fun stuff planned for tonight..." He went on as we walked to the car, I just liked to watch him. His talking about the evening gave me an excuse to keep looking at his beautiful body, and wonderful face. --- I loved just being around Daniel. I would have agreed to hang out with him anywhere, jury duty in the middle of the night, slumming at a McDonalds, anywhere. But the evening that he had planned out was really fun. He told me about how boring dates had been for his brother, so he tried to be creative. The first place we stopped at, was a bowling ally called Heroes. We didn't go there for the bowling, we went for the Lazer Tag. We went up against a team of eight steely-eyed teenage boys with us, four steely-eyed teenage girls, a boy scout troop leader with a heavy gut and a nasally voice, and a ten-year-old girl with a cast on her ankle. We kicked their asses. The troop leader was always getting shot, and trying to be the general and give out nasally orders, but the teenage girls were dead serious, and as effective as Marines. The girl with the ankle cast was a natural sniper, hiding in a corner and picking off the boys over and over again while they didn't know who was shooting them. Me and Daniel bumbled around, shooting, shouting lines from old war movies and laughing hard enough to bust a lung. We probably got shot more, because they could always hear us laughing, but we went back to back, and when one of our suits powered down the other covered them while they ducked down to avoid fire. You lost ten points for every shot fired and gained five hundred for everyone shot and lost four hundred for everyone on your own team shot. At the end of the game we had beaten them by about ten thousand to eight thousand. We went out of the game, exhausted and giggling. We had both stripped down to our undershirts, his a beater and mine a white t-shirt and both were kind of sweaty. We went to the bathroom to cool off with damp paper towels before putting our outer shirts back on. We ate at the little diner inside the bowling ally. I couldn't take my eyes off of him while he wiped himself off. The fistful of wet towels in his hand sopped up gleaming tracks of sweat on his bronze skin, and left the skin clean and gleaming faintly. I had the sudden urge to lean in and smell him, but I blushed at the impulse and didn't act on it. I just kept my eye on him as he bathed, and enjoyed the warmth of his shy glances. I had never been on a date so openly. My one boyfriend, Bryce, he had been terrified of being seen in public. I had felt a little hurt at the time, but later, I found out that he and a former boyfriend had been badly beaten by a policeman when they had held hands while walking. I had to be inconspicuous with Daniel too. It seemed to be one of the unspoken rules of being gay, even of being openly gay. We talked and giggled, but we didn't really dare hold hands or flirt overtly. We still got a few strange looks, and a few of the girls on our team had known, if not the boys. We had a more subtle way of flirting. It must have been obvious to anyone who knew what they were looking for, but we did things in little secret ways. He passed me the large Sprite we were sharing, and our fingers touched. We always looked in each others eyes. I licked a bit of ketchup off of my thumb and touched my thumb to his fingertip when I passed back the drink. The meal, at a bowling ally, eating fries and chicken strips and mozzarella sticks and a greasy fish sandwich, was more sensual then any meal I had eaten with Bryce in public or private. --- I guess I was being too harsh with Bryce though, we're all human. Bryce had been raised in a family that was not just Christian, but Mormon. On the outside he was a happy gay atheist, but just under the surface he was still a scared closeted boy who was terrified to be seen with a boyfriend where potential bashers could see. What some would call his flaws, that's what attracted me to him. I was shy and terrified of sex. I wanted to have it, yes, but I always tensed up and sometimes freaked out whenever Bryce got too close. It was like a sexual form of claustrophobia. I thought that since he had been raised in such an unforgiving family and had been deep in the closet for so long, that he would be forgiving if I was painfully slow and frightened when it came to actual physical contact. I had been right, but only for a while. We had both underestimated how bad I was. Technically we had been dating for a few months, but our pitiful attempts to get me to relax lasted three weeks. I had no problem kissing, and I spent several hours kissing during those weeks. Endless sweet kisses and shushes and muffled whimpers. Endless cautious gropings that were swiftly withdrawn, endless cold showers and muffled sobs. He tried to do it methodically at first, get me used to taking off my clothes in front of him. He would take off his shirt, I would take off mine, he would strip out of his pants, I would nervously kick out of mine. He would strip out of his underwear and I would begin to hyperventilate and have a silent panic attack. Tenderness Ch. 02 He switched tactics. We started doing things in absolute darkness, under the influence of different mood-altering substances. We tried alcohol and pot, and I even tried inhaling something from a tiny brown bottle, but we never got much farther then me stroking his cock, and our furthest conquest, him sucking and fondling my cock while I was so drunk I felt like I was falling. After our furthest conquest, he broke up with me, and after almost two years of thinking about it, I forgave him. I had been curled up on that bed, so drunk I felt weak and sick and crying brokenheartedly. After those dark confused fumblings, I never really liked anything that altered my perception. I never drank anything stronger then Mountain Dew, and I never smoked pot again. I had been so afraid and confused by how I felt. I loved men, and I knew I was gay. I knew that I wanted to have sex, but as soon as I felt his hands on me I always froze. Eventually my weeping and begging for him to stop had driven Bryce away. I hoped, I wished, I prayed, that the same thing wouldn't happen with Daniel. --------DANIEL-------- During the meal, Aaron was flirting with me. I had some gay friends and relatives that would lightly flirt with every man alive, but something was very different about Aaron. I couldn't put my finger on it at first. I thought about it during our second round of Lazer Tag, I thought about it as we drove in my silver Hybrid, and I thought about it when we went to the Mall of America to go to Underwater Adventure. For those who have never been, Underwater Adventure is an aquarium with a moving walkway that goes through a tunnel of water. Different sections of the tunnel had sharks, manta rays, colorful fish and turtles. He hadn't been to Underwater Adventure since it had been called Underwater World and he had been fourteen. Aaron was enchanted, oohing and aahing over the fish and sharks like a child. A large family of tourists was in front of us on the slowly moving walkway and they kept giving us puzzled looks. I kept thinking about how Aaron had flirted during the meal. I thought about it in the serene blue tunnel of water, where all of the sounds were simultaneously echoed and muted. A large tan turtle moved up towards my face and looked sourly at me with a grumpy, yet somehow wise expression. --- At first Aaron protested me paying for everything, the Lazer Tag, the meal, the Aquarium, but then I told him that I lived in a small apartment and I worked as an editor for the Star Tribune, while he lived in a glorified closet as a part-time bartender. I loved buying stuff for him. I had always been kind of frugal, but it didn't seem like a cost if I was spending it on Aaron. I loved the sound of his delighted laughter. I had the feeling that most of the time, he didn't laugh a lot. I tried to hear his husky delighted cry of laughter as often as I could. I heard it constantly when we had been shouting and shooting in the neon craziness of the Lazer Tag room, and I loved his giggle when we watched small fish peck algae off of the grumpy turtle's shell. After the Aquarium, it was nearly nine o'clock, and I asked him what he wanted to do next. He smiled, and my heart broke a little to see his pretty brown eyes surrounded by dark purple bruises. "How about we go a little closer to home? Maybe we can take a walk or something?" "After dark?" I mentally cursed myself. I wasn't afraid of seeming like a pansy, but so many things were just a reminder of how he had been attacked. Half of the night I had been analyzing everything I said, just to make sure it didn't have any double-meanings, or reminders of what had happened. But this time, it rolled off of his shoulders. He just looked into my eyes and said, "You will protect me." My heart melted a little in my chest. --- We had parked near his apartment and we were walking through a small pocket park. It was almost ten o' clock on an unseasonably cold May night. So except for one hurried looking woman walking a mid-sized fluffy dog, we hadn't seen another person. We were warm from laughter and shivering. We were talking about families. I had been the lucky one, because as far as families, mine was the most accepting that I had ever heard of, really ever. He had been raised by his father after his mother died from heart failure. He had been ten years old. His father had disowned him when he came out at age sixteen. His Grandma had taken him in, and it was his her who had helped him pay for college with her savings. She had died about a week after getting his diploma. "Dad has started seeing me at Christmas again, and I come over sometimes. I think he's trying to wrap his head around it a little, but mostly he's trying to make make me fall in love with a girl who lives in the apartment next to him." He had a smile on his face, but I could sense years of rejection and heartbreak in his voice. "He found out about, you know, today. He wants to come over tomorrow. I...I think that if he found out about you he would have a heart attack." He looked down at his tennis shoes hitting the dark pavement of the bike path we were walking along. His voice was a little wavery. "I wish I could tell him, I really do. He's probably going to use what happened to me as an argument to why I should be straight! He wont say it, but he probably th-thinks that God is p-p-punishing me!" I heard one muffled sob before I hugged him tightly and desperately, trying to squeeze his grief and pain away. --------AARON-------- Daniel was very sensitive about his weight. We had never expressly talked about it, but I had always gotten the impression, and he always looked so guilty when he was eating. He worked out, but he told me that he had lost some weight, but never enough. I had thought that he was a good size when I met him, and he looked really good, sexy in his clothes, but now I loved the sheer size of him, the tall broad muscular breadth of him, down to the slight softness of his stomach and chest. I hadn't felt like crying the whole night, nearly five hours of near-euphoria, and now all of that happiness was crashing into a nearly delirious sense of grief. My dad's homophobic righteous attitude towards the attack was just enough to set off everything else. I was so humiliated that I was crying in front of Daniel, but I was grateful that he was there for me to hug, and that there was so much of him to hug. He was startled by my sudden outburst, but he held me tight. It felt like we were the only people in the world, under a light post in the middle of a tiny park, me enfolded in his arms with his big muscular body surrounding me and protecting me. My face was against his strong chest, and I could feel his heart beating against my cheek. Our bodies were entirely pressed together, but I couldn't feel anything, and I was glad. I think I would have gone a little bit insane if I had felt an erection. My cheekbones and eyebrows were wet, because his shirt was soaking up my tears. His arms were around me, tight across my shoulders and around the small of my back, with his right hand cupping the back of my head. I expected him to start shushing me, telling me to stop, please stop. But he said something different. "I'm here Aaron. I'm here. Just let it all out." I felt him moving slowly and a little clumsily so we were sitting on a park bench. I was still clinging to him but he didn't seem exasperated or annoyed, he just held onto me. I sat next to him on the park bench and he held me tight against his chest and now I was in an awkward position but I didn't care. I just cried and cried and cried, and Daniel held tight to me the whole time. --- I slowed down eventually. His shirt had two big wet patches on it, about an inch apart. I had expected to feel humiliated, and I did, a little. But mostly I just felt tired, and relieved. He took care of me, and he hadn't been impatient, only gentle. He kept his arm around me as I sat up and let out a little hitching sob. I leaned on his shoulder. "Don't say that you're sorry Aaron. I have no idea how painful this is for you, and if you ever need a shoulder... well, a chest to cry into, I'm here." I giggled a little. "Can I say thank you?" He laughed a little too. My glasses were blurry and crooked from crying, but I could see that he looked a little shy. "Yeah, I think that's okay." It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, and I didn't know I was going to do it until I did it. I leaned up and kissed him. My eyes were closed, so I missed a little at first, and my lips touched his flat cheek and the corner of his mouth. I could feel the very beginning of light stubble against my cheeks. He was just as surprised as me, but he recovered and gently moved to the left a little so our mouths were touching. It was like a little slice of heaven. --------DANIEL-------- His lips were soft and swollen and so tender that he yelped a little from the pressure of my mouth. His cheeks were soft and smooth and boyishly hairless, I guessed that he only had to shave a little fuzz from his jawline and chin and upper lip. His tongue was shy and small and soft when it nudged my mouth for entry. I know that you're not supposed to kiss with open eyes, but I always had. His cute glasses were crooked and smeared from his crying jag and his eyes were swollen shut from crying and old bruises. He was beautiful. Not in a traditional way, but to me he was beautiful, and he was trusting. It was there, holding this frail young man in my arms that I realized what had been so different about his flirting. He trusted me. He absolutely trusted me. He let himself go limp and soft and vulnerable when I held him in my arms. The look in his eyes was always innocent and infatuated and free of guile. I held him tighter and felt my heart throb with something that I told myself was infatuation, but way down deep I knew it was love. I wanted to keep Aaron protected, and never let anyone hurt this sweet man ever again. The kiss broke and he looked up at me with a wavery little smile and eyes that positively glowed with trust and infatuation/love. I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Let's take you home Aaron, it's late." --- I walked him to his apartment, it was unseasonably chilly, and I could see my breath in the air, and there were two cold patches on my chest where the wind whipped against Aaron's tears. He lingered by the concrete stairs up to the apartment. "Daniel?" He had cleaned his glasses, and wiped his face with a fold of that clingy form-fitting sweater of his. I liked the way that sweater fit on his slim waist and slender shoulders. He was so small and vulnerable up close. He smiled shyly at me. "I had a really fun night tonight, and I wanted to thank you. Not just for... for understanding, but for the night, and for the date, and just for everything." He was blushing. "I would love to do it again." "Me too, and I'm just grateful that we had fun, this was the first real date I planned!" I leaned in and kissed that soft bruised mouth as gently as possible. Tenderly. He kept his eyes opened as well, and the kiss broke early and sweet. I pecked his cheek quick. "Be careful Aaron, and I hope we can do this again soon." He smiled, and he looked so happy. "My next night off is on Saturday." I made sure he got into his building safely and set off walking towards my car. I was so happy that I couldn't stop myself from smiling hard enough to hurt. Tenderness Ch. 03 *Sorry I haven't submitted in a while, I recently discovered web-camming and I've spent the last few days in a horny fog... *clears throat* Anyway, no sex again in this chapter, but good things come to those who wait^_^ All characters are 18+* --------AARON-------- I was so happy the next day; hell, I was downright joyful. I woke up at eight with everything feeling sore, and I suddenly remembered that I had completely forgotten to take my pain pill. It wasn't a laughing matter, because I had also forgotten the antibiotics, but it just made me feel so happy that Daniel could take away my pain like this. I took my pills, and all day long, when I was going food shopping and doing some other errands, I couldn't stop smiling. I smiled at strangers and cashiers and other people in their cars. Sometimes they smiled back, a little confused, and other times they just gave me strange looks, but I found that I just didn't care. Daniel called me on my cell, sounding a little bashful. "I know that you're not supposed to call after the first date, thats supposed to be kinda clingy, but I couldn't help it. How are you?" I laughed out loud. "Ugh, I'm just glad you called first! I think it's okay if we're both a little clingy!" He laughed and asked me if I wanted to see the Firefly marathon at his apartment, since he had a large flatscreen TV. He sounded so excited. I agreed. I had been a little bummed about having to see the most awesome show ever (fangirl squee!!!) on my tiny little toaster of a TV. We ended up talking for about twenty minutes, and we would have talked more but I had to beg him to stop because I had a crappy cell plan and we would soon talk me into bankruptcy. --- After my talk with Daniel, I saw that I had a new message. This was pretty rare, only about half a dozen people had my number anyway. I listened to it, and I felt surprise and shock and sudden fear fill my chest. It was Dad. "Hello Aaron." The stiff formal voice was so like him, ever since he started trying to bond with me again, Christmas and birthdays and a few rare occasions, our conversation was awkward and stiff and formal. "I'm in town today, like I said in that email... I hope you got that. I'm going to be at your apartment soon, at about five, and I brought some dinner, I remembered that you liked Chinese food? Anyway, call me back soon." Take-out? He hated all Asian food with a passion. He was really trying to make me happy, and that made me a little scared and very grateful. The thing about Dad was that he really did love me, but my orientation grated on him so much. He hated this as much as I did, how fragmented it had become between us. I felt a sick swooping feeling in my stomach. If he ever found out about Daniel... A boyfriend was bad enough. He was able to handle my orientation a little better when I was single, but when he found out about Bryce he had gone insane and slammed his fists into the wall, trying not to hit me or any furniture. He hadn't talked to me again until Bryce was history. A boyfriend was bad enough, but one right after what had happened? He would call me a pervert. He would say that I liked what happened to me. He would be disgusted, maybe even to the point of violence. I was in the laundromat down the street, and I had been laughing and giggling. I jumped in the air when a very pregnant redheaded woman tapped my shoulder, and timidly asked me if I was alright. I realized that my eyes were full of tears and my mouth felt weak and trembling. "I'm s-sorry, n-nothing's wr-wrong." I was totally lying, and beginning my first official breakdown of the day, but she was tactful enough not to bother me about it. She sat back down, glancing through a book of baby names and giving me worried glances. --- I threw all of my clean laundry back into the mesh bag without folding it. I was too upset and I wanted to get back to my apartment before I fell apart completely. I nearly ran down the sidewalk, and within moments of closing the door I just collapsed onto the couch and had a little breakdown. That was one thing I hadn't been prepared for. I was crying all the time now, and at the most inconvenient times. I was just glad I had been at the laundromat and not at the grocery store, or somewhere even further away. It was four thirty, shit. I was not ready for him to be over. I had to go around my apartment and hide any evidence, no matter how remote, of anything even slightly feminine. I scoured through my bathroom, hiding my little pink jewelry box that held my makeup and earrings deep in the cabinet. Ditto for the colorful hair binders. I rolled up the rainbow bath mat that Jesse had given me for my birthday and hid it under my bed. I took down the posters on my wall. I had some band posters that were alright, but I couldn't keep the Elton John poster, or the XX Revolution (a local band that played at the Purple Rain) poster. I also hid the little iron artwork I had of two interlocking male symbols, you know, the circle with the arrows pointing up and to the right? I looked around my apartment and then realized that I was wearing a pink shirt and jeans that were far too tight. I dug through my laundry and changed into looser jeans and a baggy blue shirt. I hated leaving my hair down, but he wouldn't stand for it being in a ponytail. Of course, he hated my hair, but that had been my very first rebellion against him, the first time I had told my father 'no'. So I wouldn't cut it for him. I flinched when the doorbell rung, and my stomach felt weak and sick. I went to the door and looked through the little glass eye, hoping irrationally that it was my landlord, or maybe my neighbor, or someone other then Dad. Nope, it was him. He had a rolling suitcase in one hand and a greasy bag in the other and I was reminded uncomfortably of when Daniel had come, unconsciously ordering my favorite food, and sweating bullets with anxiety. Dad was anxious-looking too. I opened the door, and for a moment he just stared at me. He was only forty-two, he had married my mother when he was eighteen and she was sixteen, after they hadn't been careful enough at a drive-in movie. For a moment while he was staring at me, he looked shocked and very young. He was staring at my black eyes and red nose, of course. I couldn't stop my hand from going up to cover my nose for a moment, then I forced it down. I expected him to sigh and look away, I expected him to make an awkward hello and try to inch inside without touching me, I expected for him to break into his lecture about how I was living in sin there and then. What I didn't expect was for him to drop his suitcase and our dinner and enfold me in a desperately tight bear-hug. "Oh Aaron!" His voice was so low and tearful that it came out like a groan. "I'm so sorry!" Shocked and confused and grateful and crying, I held my weeping father in my arms as he babbled into my shoulder. "Anything could have happened! That sick bastard could have killed you and I would have still been in Duluth trying to find fucking pamphlets to send you! Jesus I'm sorry, I don't want to stay away from you anymore Aaron! Anything could happen. I don't want to lose you!" After that it became unintelligible with his deep sobs. --- Dad pulled himself together and I invited him in. He sat on my bed with a ham sandwich that I had made him while I nibbled on Kung Pao chicken. We were both still sniffling a little. He was making an effort, and honest-to-God effort. He still hated my being gay, I could see him eyeing my hair, and I could tell he was biting back some comments, but he was trying! He was so afraid of losing me, that he wanted to make a concerted effort to be father and son again. It was so awkward though. We had spent six years saying nothing to one another after he had kicked me out of the house, and two years of rare painfully awkward meetings that had often ended with me in tears. We ended up watching sports on the tiny TV and him asking me questions about my job, and if I had any luck getting a real job. That hurt a little, but he was right. I had been trying over and over to be a teacher again, but there were few openings, and all of the schools that had openings had been warned against me by that dick principal. When I told Dad about him, he scowled a little, but didn't say anything. I already knew his thoughts on the matter. When I was fifteen, and pondering wether or not to come out to my father, he found some piece of news about a teacher who had molested a male student and went off on an angry tearful rant about how 'they should have never let a fucking fag like that into the school at all.' I agreed with his hatred of the man who had molested the kid, but it had hurt and frightened me deeply at the time, how he lost control like that. He hesitated, and his shoulders slumped a little. "Aaron? I don't want to fight anymore, but honestly, how can you still think you don't have a choice? How can you still delude yourself that this...Lifestyle...is the only option after what that man did to you, and after what happened when you were twelve..." I cut him off, and I was surprised by the vicious edge to my voice. I had never fought against my father, I had always just nodded and flinched. I had cringed against the wall when he started throwing furniture and beating his fists against the wall to stop himself from hitting me. I had agreed with him and wept when he was gone. I had never actively argued with him. "Don't you dare! D-Don't you fucking d-d-dare! Th-That has n-nothing t-to... n-nothing to..." I wanted to scream at him, to make him flinch away. I wanted to snarl at him about the injustice and inaccuracy of his words, about how being raped by a man didn't mean that all gay men were evil. I wanted to scream that I had been born this way, and to stop blaming the way I was on what had happened when I was twelve. I wanted to drown out his hurting words in my own fury, but I was crying. I hated crying, I couldn't say what I needed to say, and I felt so fragile. He was looking at me with that look that was supposed to be comforting, but really it was pity at how 'deluded' I was. That look said that I was lost and needed to be guided, that I was broken and needed to be fixed. He had been trying, and he really wanted to help me, but I couldn't deal with this right now. "Get out." I whimpered. "Aaron, I have the right to speak my opinion, and you need help. I know that right now you are confused and you need my help more then ev--" "GET THE FUCK OUT!!!" I was screaming and crying and for a terrifying moment, I thought he was going to ignore me, but thankfully he got up and got out. His mouth was a trembling line in his stony face, and all of a sudden, my father seemed old. He left my apartment, and I had a long cry on my bed. I wanted Daniel, but he wasn't here, and I didn't want to call him because then he would know how upset I was. I didn't want him to know how fragile I was right now. I didn't want his pity. I cleaned my face carefully with a soothingly cold towel and I took my pills. For a moment, the three pill bottles stood on the shelf in a row, and I could feel a strange, frighteningly powerful, and seductive pull. An insidious urge to pour all of the pills in a bowl like brightly colored sugary cereal and just gobble them all up. My fingers were trembling, and I clenched them into fists so hard that my long nails cut into my palms. I took slow whimpering breaths, shaky with sobs. Then I imagined Daniel's face. I imagined him, laughing and shy, and then again, serious and gentle. I remembered how I had heard the steady powerful throb of his heart against my cheek. After that, I took one of each pill, and got ready for work. I did not cry. --- I worked that night, and thankfully, fewer people were asking me about my eye. I thought it was just because they were being more sensitive, but when I mentioned it, Jessie shook her head and told me that the bruises were fading. I went to the bathroom instantly to check it out, and it was true. Earlier my bruises had been very dark, purple edging on black. Now they were a lighter plum-red color, and in some places, faded to pale lavender. I felt a little shallow, but I nearly started crying with joy. I was going to look normal soon! After such a miserable day, it was nice to have one little victory. Even with my upbeat attitude after the wonderful date last night, I had still had a few minor meltdowns. I think that Dad had probably made it worse. They were brief and hard and miserable, like summer thunderstorms, but they had passed quickly. They happened with very little provocation mostly. I got two of the drink orders wrong, and after each one I ran to the bathroom and had a mini-meltdown. After I got home I tripped on the rolled-up rug shoved under the bed and had a slightly longer meltdown. I hated feeling so fragile, like anything could break me in half. It was alright with Daniel, because whenever I felt breakable and weak around him, I knew that he was there to keep me safe. But now when I was alone. I couldn't wait until tomorrow, when I would be safe again. --------DANIEL-------- The apartment I lived at was owned by a man named Franklin who honestly didn't give a shit about how many animals you owned, as long as you cleaned up after them. Noel, my ancient lazy husky was sleeping on his big doggy-bed in the corner. Malcolm the iguana (yes I named him after Malcolm Reynolds) in his cage under the heat lamp. Geoffrey, my tortoise lurking in a glass aquarium munching lettuce. Zoe (sigh, named again after Firefly...) my cat was sitting on the couch in front of the TV, giving me an ironic green glare. Kit and Kat, my corn snakes were curled into a ball of orange coils in their aquarium. I was dressed and ready for the Marathon, jeans, sock-feet, and a brown t-shirt with a silhouette of a T-rex and a Stegosaurus on it. The Stegosaurus had a speech bubble that said 'curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!' God I was such a geek... My apartment was fairly small, and neat because I had to keep it free of pet fur for my neighbor's allergies. I still worried and went around, cleaning the house as much as I could. I had pulled the big blue couch in front of the TV, but then I was panicking and wondering if that would be too close for him, and if he would want to sit somewhere else... The doorbell rang at exactly seven forty-five when I was still panicking. I ran to the door and pulled it open. Aaron was standing there, and suddenly my puffed-up sense of urgency and panic deflated. He was wearing those red plaid pajama pants, and a T-shirt with Jayne on it. Below his picture were the words 'Public Relations'. He had a bag of chips under his arm and his hair was in a messy ponytail. He smiled shyly up at me, and I felt the grin spreading unstoppably over my face. "Come in!" I said. Noel stretched and trotted up to give a half-hearted sniff and a lick of Aaron's outstretched hand. "Oh! You are a big squishy cutie aren't you!" Aaron got right down and started scratching Noel's stomach and rump. The big old husky just collapsed on the wooden floor with a moan of pleasure. He was in doggy heaven. I took him on the tour, introducing him to my animals, showing him the rooms. He was delighted by my waterbed, and insisted on lying on it for a bit before we continued the tour. He was smiling a lot, very bubbly and upbeat, but I sensed that while he was genuinely happy, he was also a little bit down about something. I got him a drink of Mountain Dew from the fridge, and he asked me if I had any dip to go with the chips. I dug around in my cupboards and when I turned around with a container of dill and garlic dip in my hand I saw him take a quick gulp of Dew and a big swallow. I was nearly 90% sure that he had tried to distract me so I wouldn't see him take his pills. My heart throbbed painfully for him, especially when he looked up at me with such a shy sweet smile on his face. I reached out and tucked some hair behind his ear, and he smiled even wider up at me. I liked being able to take care of him, little things, like tucking his hair, or wrapping my arm around his shoulders, pouring him a drink and tucking the afghan around him when he got a little cold. I liked his closeness of course, and I kept having thoughts of him naked, and pleasant little fantasies involving what would happen after he healed, but somehow the little things, the tender things, they almost seemed more important. Alright, enough of the romantic sappy shit, and on to Firefly! --- We had so much fun. We were geeking out over our favorite show so much, that if he hadn't been snuggled up tight under my arm, we might as well have been two nerdy friends, and not boyfriends. We were both quoting lines, laughing our heads off at Wash and Jayne. During the commercials, we discussed the mysteries of life, such as if women's clothing is designed to make them look sexy and strong, or vulnerable. Life on other planets, Hilary Clinton's secret sex life, how Firefly was more accurate then Star Wars, everything. It was after a cute, romantically charged moment between Malcolm and Inara (Geez, why wont those two EVER get together...) when Aaron leaned up and kissed me, right on the lips. It was a sweet little peck, and then he ducked his face into my chest, blushing. We were snuggled up on the couch, him tucked under my arm with his head on my chest and his legs curled up under him on the cushion. "What was that for?" I murmured, amused, and slightly alarmed because I was slightly aroused. He bit his lip, taking the question very seriously. "For... I guess... For being there." He was completely unknowing of my boss's recent words to me, but nearly quoting her concerns. "Lately, a lot of shit has happened. People have been treating me weird, and...and I've been stupid and crying at the drop of a hat...and you're just... there for me. Is that stupid?" "No, it's not stupid at all. After what happened, I think you're allowed to be a bit of a mess." He giggled a little at that, and wiped his eyes. "Thank you Daniel." Almost everyone I knew called me either Dan or Arceiro, I kinda liked that. It wasn't exactly a nickname, it was more like a term of endearment. The commercial break ended, and we shut up again. It wasn't an awkward silence though, it was a nice one. He was holding my hand and snuggling against my chest. "I can hear your heart." He murmured. Tenderness Ch. 04 *I promised that if you waited, good things would happen! ^_^ And here they are! Ladies and germs, I present, Tenderness 04! All characters are 18+* --------AARON-------- I wished that that day could never end. We kept kissing each other, and it was amazing. The first kiss, the one I had given him when I was sobbing my eyes out at the end of our first date, that had been amazing. Now, it was just a series of little ones, where we never even opened our mouths. It was like we were testing each other, or something. All I know, is that when I left his house at eight to get to work, we shared a long kiss that was earth-shattering. His tongue was in my mouth, mine was in his. Our eyes were closed and it was hard telling where I ended and where he began. When the kiss broke we were both flustered and his eyes were shining and we were both panting, but he was a perfect gentleman. When I was driving home to change, I wondered if he had jerked off when I left. We were spending so much time together, but we hadn't done anything but kiss. I wasn't ready to do anything but kiss. I was so worried after that. Was he perfectly understanding as he seemed? Or was he frustrated that I wouldn't 'put out?' The more I thought about it, the more the second seemed true. I had friends, lesbian and gay, where sex on the first date was very common. Even among the most stable and steady-going of my friends, the third date was the mutual agreement to have sex of some kind. That night at the bar, I felt guiltier and guiltier. I started to feel like shit. I felt worthless. I felt conniving, and greedy, and selfish. I listened to a woman named Jenny complain that her sweet new partner wasn't licking her pussy even after four dates. I suddenly felt sick, and rushed to the bathroom. I looked at my pale sick face in the mirror. I needed Daniel. Would I have to just grit my teeth and bear it for him to stay with me? I knew I wouldn't be able to make love with him, I was still torn up down there, and I needed to have a follow-up with my doctor to make sure there were no complications with the disease I had picked up... But I didn't want to have sex! Not yet, that would ruin everything! He would realize how panicky I got, and how afraid I was. As soon as he knew how afraid I was of having any kind of sex, he would leave! Tears were starting to flow down my face, when my phone buzzed. I was so shocked that I gave a startled little hiccup and stopped crying. I checked my phone, sure it had to be my dad, but hoping it was Daniel. The screen said VOICEMAIL FROM DANIEL, so I listened to his message, biting my lip nervously. "Hey, Aaron! Sorry about calling you at work, but I totally forgot to ask you... Call me back when you get this message, but, since you had a day off this Saturday, I was wondering if I could maybe take you to meet my parents. They are really friendly and understanding, and they've been begging me to bring my new boyfriend home! They're kinda embarrassing, but I bet they are just gonna love you! Call me back, bye!" His voice was soothing, even as a grainy machine-recording. I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I was getting nervous, of course I was! I always got stupid and obsessive about little things, and big things too. I just panicked. I let out a shaky laugh and kissed my phone. "Thanks Daniel." I whispered, before wiping my eyes and getting back to work. --- Me and my Dad tried again on Friday. He was in Minneapolis for the rest of the week. He had come down to check on me, but he was also visiting some relatives that he hadn't seen in a few months. No one in my family had been able to accept me, none of them even tried. Maybe Mom would have. We went to a Twins game in the new Target Stadium. I was kind of clueless when it came to sports, but I loved going to sports with Dad because it was the one time that he ever truly relaxed around me. He was so preoccupied by the game that he joked and laughed and he gave me bear hugs when we won home runs. He became a different person when he was at sports games. What can I say? There was a baseball game and a bunch of men ran around on a field chasing a little white ball while my father treated me like his son. I had a good time, but I still didn't pay that much attention to the game. I'm not even sure who won... --------DANIEL-------- I had been nervous before around Aaron. If we had been just hanging out alone, I'm sure that I might have been less nervous. But he was coming to meet my family now! I wasn't afraid of them being mean to him, I was worried about them overwhelming him. I hoped he would like them. My mother was an accountant for the city zoning board, and my father owned an Italian restaurant downtown. They lived in the second floor, and I had grown up with the smell of garlic and tomato and basil. I had wanted to have a romantic dinner with Aaron in the restaurant, but my mother had changed it around, so now we were having a family dinner up in their flat with not only my parents, but my sister, and my brother Marcus and his fiance Diane. I was picking him up. I drove my Honda up to his apartment at about seven twenty and instantly felt a little flutter in my chest as he stood up. He had been sitting on the concrete steps in the warm afternoon, waiting for me to come. He stood up, and he looked unbelievable. He was wearing tight dark blue jeans and a shirt of a shiny dark grey. His hair was in a tight ponytail and he was wearing sparkly earrings. That much I could see from far away, but as he got closer and closer I saw more and more. Maybe this is strange, but for me, the sexiest part of the human body that wasn't overtly sexual was the neck. Aaron had shyly told me on Wednesday that he really liked my forearms, so maybe everyone likes a certain part of the body. For me, it has always been the neck. His throat was very slender and shapely, I could see the way the V of the muscles in his neck moved. He was really glamming it up tonight, sparkly earrings, bangles on his wrists, a couple of rings on his hands, and a pretty choker necklace. He liked wearing jewelry, that was another thing he had told me. I loved that choker, it was a black ribbon that went around his throat, and it had a tiny bell as the pendant. I could hear the softest little jingle when he opened the car door to scoot in. His eyes were beautiful, pale brown and open. He was looking at me nervously, judging my reaction. His eyes were lined very lightly with dark eyeliner. I couldn't resist him, coming in my car so cute. I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. He giggled. "Hi Daniel, I felt kinda silly waiting out there like that. If anyone had seen me, they might have suspected that I was gay!" He did the last bit in a joking voice and I laughed with him, not before I snuck a kiss on the sweet spot just under his ear. Wednesday had been highly informative for the both of us. We had been snuggling and kissing, and I had found out that he had a sensitive little zone right under his ear. Feel for it, right under the earlobe where the corner of the jawbone meets the neck. One little kiss right there was enough to get a surprised little moan and a deep blush. I chuckled at him while he was bright red and looking so flustered and cute. He leaned forward and kissed me right on the lips. "Ow!" I was more surprised then hurt when he nipped my lower lip, hard. "You deserve it!" He said loftily. "For making me blush." I laughed so hard I was turning red. "Alright! Alright! We're even... Let's drive off to my dad's restaurant before we start cat-fighting." --- "Did I overdress?" "No Aaron, you look beautiful." Usually telling him he looked beautiful made him flush and smile shyly, but today he was really worried. "I wore all my stuff, and it looked pretty back in the mirror but now I'm going to meet your family! Your dad probably has connections to the mafia..." I snorted, surprised into laughter by that one. He gave me a strained smile, but despite his attempt at humor, he really was very nervous. He was trying not to obsess, but he was very fidgety. He nervously played with the bangles on his wrist. "Are you sure they're gonna be okay with me? You said that they were really nice, but..." I reassured him, and tried to keep the conversation going, but he kept answering me tersely, in one or two syllables. He was scared. It took me almost until the end of our car ride to realize how scared of meeting my parents. I pulled the car over into a parking lot for a convenience store. It took him a second to realize that we had stopped. I turned the car light on, and in the slightly yellowish light of my car, he looked very pale. "Aaron? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Of course he wasn't okay, but I needed to ask him, I needed him to tell me. He took a deep shaky breath, and I got a powerful sense of deja vu. I remembered the first time he had been in my car. How could I forget? He had been bleeding and crying and terrified. Now he was scared, and getting ready to cry. "I know I'm being stupid." He whispered, not looking at me. "I know how... how weird I'm being." His voice had a tearful edge to it, but he was trying very hard not to start crying. "I f-feel like I'm a fucking piece of glass or something. I always feel like I'm about to break. I'm sorry Daniel..." I leaned over, and it was awkward and a little uncomfortable because of the armrests between us, but I carefully put my arms around his shoulders, careful to go slow, in case he didn't want a hug. He snuggled into my embrace and I held his head against my chest as he let out a few shaky sobs. It wasn't like our first date, where he had been moaning and shivering with feeling. This time it was just a few hiccups. I kissed the top of his head and I could smell the shampoo he was using, something light and fruity and delicious-smelling. "My family is going to love you Aaron. They got used to having two gay kids a long time ago. They didn't like my last boyfriend, but he was an asshole." I nudged him so we were looking each other in the eyes. "You're not an asshole, are you?" His eyeliner was a little smeared. He giggled, and I could feel his slender shoulders relaxing a little. I dug around in the glove compartment for some tissues, and wiped his eyes a little. He let out a trembly laugh. "You take such good care of me... I should hire you..." I kissed his cheek, tasting a tear. "I love taking care of you Aaron. Just one more swipe... and... there! You look beautiful. Doesn't look like you were crying at all." I kissed him on the nose, and he smiled shyly. "Thank you Daniel." --------AARON-------- I hated breaking down like that, but I seriously felt sick. I felt a little better when Daniel was holding me, but now, pulling to the parking lot of his father's restaurant, I was starting to feel queasy again. He saw me putting one hand on my stomach, and he gave me a reassuring smile. I felt a little better, but even Daniel, the one amazing thing in my life, couldn't make me feel too much better. He looked amazing tonight. He was wearing a leather jacket that was well-worn and black, it creaked pleasantly and it smelled good. Under it he was wearing a dark blue button-down shirt that was unbuttoned a little to show a little skin. He was wearing matching copper bracelets and chain necklace that looked fantastic on him. We got out and started walking towards the restaurant. I wanted to make a little idle conversation, because my stomach felt loose and sick and sloshy. "This area seems really familiar, aren't we close to your house?" He chuckled. "You're right, I'm such a mamma's boy that I ended up living about three blocks away from my parent's house." He surprised me by holding my hand. That just wasn't something that gay couples could really do in public, unless they were in the theater district, which held nine of Minneapolis's gay bars. It was something that was very risky, but he knew I needed some comfort. My hand was cold and clammy, but his was big and warm. I squeezed it, and felt some of the sickness alleviate. "It's okay Aaron, they're going to love you." How could he know that? Why was I panicking so much about this? Was I so terrified that he would leave me if his parents didn't like me? I released his hand when we stepped inside the glass doors, and it's a good thing I did, because the moment we came in, another man ran up and tackled Daniel in a bear hug. "Danny! It's been too fuckin' long bro!" I was laughing, and the sick feeling in my stomach was almost forgotten, because the look on Daniel's face was just priceless. A mix of embarrassment and brotherly love and annoyance. They wrestled playfully for a second and then Daniel backed away and introduced us. "Marc? This is my new boyfriend Aaron, Aaron? This is my doofus younger brother, Marcus." Marcus was an almost eerie look-alike of Daniel. He was a little paler, taking more to the Italian side of the family, but the facial features were very similar. He had slightly tilted eyes, whereas Daniel had large ever-so-slightly downturned Italian eyes. Marcus was also a little thinner and shorter by about an inch. The next thing I knew, he was tackling me in a bear hug. His body was hard and bony compared to Daniel. He squeezed a shocked laugh out of me and backed away, grinning hugely. "Good to finally meet you little brother, Danny's told us so much I feel like I know you already!" I looked over at Daniel and he just shrugged and blushed. "Come meet Di and the parents, you'll love them!" And with that, we were being swept through a small wooden door and up a narrow flight of steps into the flat above the restaurant. --- In no time at all, we were sitting at a wooden table covered by a red table cloth. The air was hot and full of the smell of chicken parmesan. Diane, Marc's fiance, and Daniel's mother were bringing out dish after dish of food. The two women were polar opposites, but they got along well, joking and laughing. Daniel's mother was so small, almost petite. Alexandra was very curvy and she had these bright black sparkling eyes that were identical to Marc's eyes. Her hair was cropped short and she was wearing a skirt and a red top and some small gold jewelry. Diane was tall and slim, with ivory pale skin and blue eyes. The only thing they had in common was their dark hair. Diane was also pregnant, only six months, but the bump looked huge because she was so slender. When I had come in, I had been greeted by all of them. Daniel's mother had swooped in and given me a fierce hug while saying "Welcome Aaron, so happy to finally meet you!" Diane had laughed and greeted me with a friendly hug. Even Daniel's father, a thicker balding bespectacled version of Marcus pulled me into a gruff one-armed embrace. How had I ever been afraid of meeting these people? In a whirlwind of hellos and handshakes and laughter we were sitting at the table. I watched a mound of fluffy mashed potatoes running with butter get placed in front of my nose, and the platter of grilled chicken breasts covered in melted cheese. There was a pot of noodles swimming in a garlicky cream sauce and a plate of spiced asparagus. Diane was bringing a huge bowl of mixed fruit to the table, and in the kitchen I could spy a pie and some sort of spice cake. "How are we going to eat all of this?" I blurted out, unable to tear my eyes away from all of the delicious food. My naive comment drew a bout of easy laughter. "It keeps sweetheart, but there are never many leftovers in this family! Do you want some wine? Or would you prefer some water..." Alexandra was pouring wine into Marc's glass, looking at me and spilling a drop on the tablecloth. "Woah mom, watch it! Try the wine Aaron, trust me on this. Even people who hate wine love the Arceiro family wine. We make it ourselves." I blushed, they were all looking at me. "Um, I don't drink a lot, but I'll have a glass please." Daniel was sitting next to me and I loved the feeling when he put his hand on my shoulder. "I'll make sure to cut him off if he gets rowdy!" He teased gently, and I loved it. I loved the way he talked to me, around me. I loved the way he treated me, like a prince. Annabel walked in from the doorway. According to Daniel, she was the reason he had been at the Purple Rain in the first place. I would always be in her debt for that. She took after her mother a lot, darker skinned then Daniel, with striking slanted eyes. Her hair however, was a dark bronzy color and her eyes were dark green. She was gorgeous. She smiled shyly at me, and then another girl, pale and thin with maroon hair and a pierced septum followed her in. She introduced Rose to her family and I was glad that the attention was off of me. Daniel's family was amazing, but there was only so much attention I could take. --------DANIEL------- Aaron had been so afraid. I don't think it even seemed possible to him, that a family could be accepting of a gay child. Now he was sitting, quietly taking seconds, and even thirds! Where on earth was he putting it? He always complimented my mother and sister on the food, but other than that, he stayed very quiet. He was so shy, but he was smiling. He was having fun, he just didn't want to talk. Rose, Annabel's new girlfriend was a bit of a blabbermouth, so Aaron was safe. I had been agonizing over what stupid or insensitive questions my family might ask. Especially if Marcus drank a little too much wine, which he always seemed to do. Hell, I was drinking too much wine. The glass seemed to never get empty, and it never really did. We filled each others glasses when they got low, without talking, without even really breaking conversation. Aaron's cheeks were getting a little flushed and he giggled a lot while stuffing food into his hollow leg. It seemed deliciously funny to me. He was getting so amused, laughing breathlessly. My family seemed to like him. They would treat him well no matter what, but I think they truly liked him. I mean, my other two boyfriends really weren't that much to compare. My first boyfriend was another boy at my college. He had been a lanky boy with tattoos sleeving his arms. He could suck me all day long, but he was a rude asshole who always got drunk and started insulting people. He was paranoid and always thought I was trying to insult him. He never answered my phone calls, and laughed at me when I insisted on wearing condoms, or wore a helmet on my bike, or wouldn't smoke pot at parties. We had been on and off for nearly four years before I finally said we were through. Number two had been Isaac. I had loved Isaac, and he had broken my heart. He had been a wonderful blonde man a few years older then me. We had been living together for two years, and dating for nearly three. A week before my 27th birthday, I found him in the apartment with another man. They hadn't been having sex, I might have gone insane if they had been. But they were soul-kissing on my couch. I hadn't even kissed another man for just over a year. I put my arm around Aaron's shoulders, and he giggled and snuggled into me. "You smell nice..." He burst into tipsy laughter at that. I snorted and hugged him tight to me in a headlock. "Oh yeah? Well you smell like wine, how much have you had to drink?" He laughed helplessly, covering his mouth. Tears were running down his cheeks. The rest of my family laughed too. With the exception of Diane, they were all as drunk, or more drunk then we were. "I am officially cutting us both off, we gotta get home tonight." Everyone was so drunk they thought that I was hilarious. --- I cut us off both a little too late. I didn't feel safe driving, and Aaron was a little worse then I was. I offered to buy a cab, but Aaron looked so guilty. Tenderness Ch. 04 "You're always buying stuff for me, I'll pay for the cab!" He was sitting in his chair, the demolished remains of two slices of pie on his plate. Seriously, he must have eaten ten percent of his body weight. Did he have two hollow legs? We argued about who was going to pick up the cab, when Rose made a sudden contribution. "You guys are boyfriends! 'Bel tells me that Danny lives like a block away, why don't you just have a little sleepover, rattle the rafters a bit." She snorted with laughter and started another round of cackling around the table, but I was the only one that saw the guilty panicked look on Aaron's face. I stood up and stretched. "Hey Aaron, wanna see my old room?" My dad snorted. "You know we rented that to Freddy Krueger years ago." More cackling. Aaron was lucid enough to know that I was trying to rescue him from my nutball drunk family. "Sure." He murmured. He got up and followed me down the narrow hallway. My room was clean, but otherwise it was exactly as I had left it from my senior year in college. It had been a tradition to live at home during the summer. A double bed that had always been exactly two inches short for me, a dresser that doubled as a closet, a desk with an ancient early 90's PC still hooked up to it. Posters of a couple local bands, and Brad Pitt as he was in 'Fight Club'. I sat on the bed, shaking my head to try and get rid of the dizzying amount of alcohol in my veins. Aaron sat next to me and leaned into me. I kissed the top of his head. "You okay Aaron? I'm sorry about Rose." He took a deep breath. "I... I want to sleep over, and I love being with you, I really do..." He looked like he was struggling to speak, but couldn't find the words. "But maybe... Maybe I should pay for the cab..." I forced myself to expose the elephant in the room. It would be the first time we talked about sex, and my stomach was squirming with embarrassment. But it needed to be said, needed to be kept in the light. "Aaron? I don't want you to feel like we need to have sex." He flinched and looked up at me. I could see the embarrassment on my face reflected in his, but also he was curious, and grateful. I took another deep breath. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, or obligated ever. I mean, I never expected you to be ready right away. I... I hope you know that... well, as long as you still want me, I'm in this for the long haul. I want to be with you, and I really like being with you. I'm not just being an asshole and waiting for when you're ready." I kissed him on the forehead. He hadn't said anything, but tears were streaming down his face. I would have been panicking, but he had a huge smile on his face. His eyes were filled with pain and gratitude and something close to devotion. I felt a huge warmth spread through my chest. I kissed him on the mouth this time, and he hugged me to him very tight. "Thank you Daniel." He whispered, in a choked little voice. --------AARON-------- I was high on love, drunk on love, reeling on love. He understood! I had guessed that he would, but guessing and knowing are two different things. He had looked so embarrassed when he had to talk about it, but now he was smiling and hugging me. I was buried in his muscular chest, smelling leather and a wisp of cologne and a deep masculine smell that was just his smell. He smelled so amazing. A loud knock on his bedroom door made us both jump. Marcus's voice was loud and reeling, he was a few glasses of wine away from passing out. "Momma sez you have to clean the sheets yourself!!!" Then he howled with laughter and stumbled to the bathroom. I looked at Daniel, and he looked at me, and we burst out laughing at the same time. Now that all of that awkwardness had been aired out, Marc was hilarious. --- We left at about eleven thirty. We had been there for three and a half hours. Daniel promised to call his mother when we got there, because even though he lived three blocks away, the neighborhood wasn't the best, we were both still tipsy, and a gay couple. I was a little terrified and paranoid when we walked to his apartment, but the walk went smoothly. There were a few cop cars around, but we didn't run into anyone. I still breathed a shaky sigh of relief when we slipped into the apartment building. "Yup, I live in a war-zone." Daniel joked. I giggled. "Anywhere in Minneapolis is a bit scary when you're drunk and wandering around late at night with your boyfriend!" He snorted. "I just get a little happy feeling whenever you call me that. Say it again." "Boyfriend!" He pretended to shudder, making me laugh. "Boyfriend! Boyfriend." "No more!" He pretended to pant. "I don't think I could take another!" He opened the door to his apartment and Noel ran to greet us, whining and wagging his tail furiously. I dropped to my knees to love him up a little, and he covered my face with sloppy dog-kisses. Zoe eyed us, aloof and cold on top of her couch. He kissed me on the cheek. "I can find you some pajamas, they'll be huge on you, but better then your date-clothes." --------DANIEL-------- I got him some matched pajamas. They looked a little dopy, but I liked getting them because they were comfy as hell. I was putting some fresh sheets on the bed and trying to clean up some of the dirty clothes when he walked in. He had washed off his makeup and taken off his jewelry and taken off the hair binder. He looked adorable in the matched pajamas. A set of dark blue silky material that had been too tight on me, but I had never thrown out. The pants were rolled up at the ankles and sleeves. He looked sleepy and adorable. He also looked very young. A huge yawn cracked his jaws. "Th--Thank you Daniel. This means a lot." He came in for a hug and a goodnight kiss. He slipped his tongue in my mouth, and I wanted him so badly it hurt. The kiss ended and he slipped under the covers. I looked at the vulnerable shape of his body curled up under the blanket, and I was glad that he felt so safe with me. Meanwhile, I went to the bathroom to masturbate quietly. I felt like like a teenager again, but I didn't think I could handle holding it off until tomorrow. I took a shower and finished up before marching like a good boyfriend to sleep on the couch. --- I had always been a light sleeper, so when a baby started crying in the apartment above me, I gave up and got up to get a snack and some hot cocoa. I was still kind of sleepy, so I jumped about a foot in the air when Aaron tapped me gently on the shoulder. I turned around with a surprised yelp. He was standing there, yawning and rubbing one eye. His hair was mussed and he looked so cute and sleepy. He mumbled something unintelligible and yawned again. "You scared the shit out of me." I whispered, grabbing another cup and spooning instant cocoa powder into it. "What did you say?" "Bad dream..." He mumbled a little louder. He nudged under my arm and snuggled into my chest. I took a moment to hold him tight. I didn't let go until the kettle started to whistle. "Come on Aaron..." I murmured. "Cuddle and cocoa, that fixes everything." He let out a shaky little giggle and he took his cup out to the couch. --------AARON-------- We sipped our cocoa, not saying anything. The dream had been terrible, but now I barely remembered it. Something about being in a dark alley, but there had been a swing set in the alley too. That was all I could remember, that, and it was terrifying. I shivered, and Daniel's arm closed more tightly around my shoulders, as if to keep me together. I rested my head on his chest. "Daniel? Am I too clingy?" He kissed the top of my head and took a sip of cocoa. "No way Aaron. If you ever need me, just call. I just want to make sure that you're okay." A huge pang of guilt rocketed through my stomach. I didn't deserve him. This sweet amazing man was buying things for me, loving me, treating me like something precious. What had I ever done for him? He was treating me like a prince and the most I had ever done for him was kiss him. He was amazing, but I was so fucking insecure. Maybe it wouldn't happen today, or tomorrow, or even for a week if I was lucky, but as soon as he realized how deep my fear ran, he would leave. "Hey? Aaron, are you okay? Must have been an awful dream... Don't cry Aaron, shh." I was only sniffling a little. I needed to make sure he stayed with me. I wouldn't be able to handle it if he left me. He was the only thing keeping me sane. I took a deep breath. We were on a couch, in each others arms, and I was still a little drunk. There would be no easier time then now. I turned my head slightly and kissed his chest through his green pajama top. He didn't say anything. I could feel the slow rise and fall of his breath, and the healthy thump of his heart. I nuzzled my cheek against him and then raised my head to kiss him on the lips. His mouth was warm and firm and sensual. His lips parted slightly, and his tongue entered my mouth. I sucked on it gently. It was working. I didn't feel bad. I didn't feel that terrible mixture of fear and guilt and cheapness that I had always felt with Bryce. I didn't feel like I was being blackmailed, or cheated, or bought out. I just felt simple love, and a growing urge. I wanted to be naked with him. I wanted to have sex with him, and make him happy. We went slow nonetheless. He put one arm around my waist and the other hand cradled the back of my neck, sending shivers down my feverish skin. He broke the kiss, and gently ran kisses down my jawline. I whimpered as he kissed me on the sensitive spot under my ear. I could hear his breathing, faster then it had been. He took my earlobe in his lips and growled playfully. He ran more kisses down my throat. My breathing was light and fast. My skin felt hot and dry and liquid warmth filled my body and I could feel nervous sweat under my arms and in my crotch. I felt like I was filled with electricity, and my cock was as tight and swollen as a drum. I tangled my hands in his loose coarse hair as he ran nibbling kisses across my collarbone. "Are you okay with this Aaron?" His eyes were dilated in the dim light, beautiful and full of love and concern. I nodded and kissed his mouth again, tasting him, moaning softly with how good I felt. I felt good. For the first time I could remember, I felt sexy and loved and unafraid. Then he undid the first button at my throat and started kissing the sensitive little dimple at the center of my collarbone. With that first button, my feelings of security didn't go away, but they were shaken. I felt the first sour tang of nervousness and the faint prickle of fear. I closed my eyes, and tried to concentrate on the tender way he was stroking my side with one hand, or the gentleness of the hand on my chest. He moved, and that just made me feel a little more nervous. He got down on his knees on the floor so he was at eye level with my chest. He leaned forward through my slightly spread legs and continued to kiss me gently, tonguing my skin. I felt a little better, and I stroked the hair on his head, but then I could feel the hotness of his breath on my chest, and his hands moved the second button through the hole. He wanted to go down my chest, and give me a blowjob. He was so excited, so into it. I felt a little sick, and then I felt a wave of despair. This wasn't Bryce! This was Daniel! This was my amazing understanding sweet Daniel. How could I be feeling sick, and only after two buttons? He wasn't like Bryce, trying to force me over the rough spots, and keep going when I felt upset. Daniel looked up and saw the tears beading in my eyes, and that I no longer looked like I was enjoying it. "Aaron? Aaron, why didn't you tell me to stop?" His face looked hurt, and I cringed inside. "I don't want to force you to do anything that makes you feel bad." Then I really started to cry. I felt so ashamed, so scared. He was hugging me now, buttoning up my shirt now, but what about when he got sick of blue balls? What would happen then? "Shh... Aaron, I'm here Baby." "Please." I choked, crying into his arm. "Please, I can do it. I c-can do it, I promise." He looked shocked. "No Aaron, don't ask me to hurt you. I don't need to have sex with you right now, Shh..." His arms were so comforting, but I refused to be comforted. "You'll leave!" I sobbed. "Y-You'll leave j-j-just like B-Bryce did!" Then I sobbed into his chest. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean that!" He held me without talking for a long time, shushing me gently, and rubbing my back with his big warm hand. After a long time, he whispered. "Whoever Bryce is, he's an idiot. He didn't know when he had a good thing." I felt a little better, but only a little. "He tried. But... But I was always so scared." Nothing but silence for a moment. Then he kissed my ear. "I have an idea Aaron, but only if you want to try it." He whispered his idea into my ear. I wiped my eyes on the green cotton of his pajama shirt, and we went into the bedroom. --------DANIEL-------- My boss had told me not to leave Aaron alone, and I thought I had understood why, but I didn't fully understand what she had told me until today. I hadn't understand how incredibly fragile Aaron was. He had only dated one other man, and I found myself hating him. Whoever this 'Bryce' was, he had instilled my sweet little Aaron with the idea that I wouldn't love him unless he had sex with me. I had an idea. If it were entirely up to me, I wouldn't have gone this far. But Aaron really wanted to do something, and not just because his asshole boyfriend had brainwashed him into thinking there couldn't be love without sex. We went to my room, and we lay down on top of the covers. I carefully settled myself behind him, and I hugged him gently. He was always more relaxed in my arms. It was dark, and I couldn't see him at all, but I could feel his body. I kept my lower body a little separated, not wanting to scare him if I got an erection. I nipped his earlobe gently, and I felt a lot better when I heard his soft moan. He had stopped crying. "That's it Aaron. Now just... y'know, jerk off. I wont touch you down there, I'll just be here, okay? Emotional support." A shaky giggle, and then I could feel his arm moving in the dark, and the soft rise and fall of his breath. I kissed his neck gently, teasing the sensitive skin just a little with my teeth. I could feel his skin vibrate a little as he moaned. The silky pajama shirt was so smooth, I rubbed my hand across it. I could feel the warmth of his skin, and two hard little nubs against my fingers through the fabric. "D-Daniel?" His voice was soft and breathy. Timid, but breathless from arousal. "Aren't... Aren't you going to...?" "I will Aaron... Don't worry baby. Right now, it's all you. Just keep going." I nibbled his earlobe, and I could feel his hand moving faster, could hear the soft rhythmic pounding of his hand on flesh. I rubbed his chest, and gently tweaked his nipples through the silky fabric. I ran kisses up and down his vulnerable neck, and it just came out, I couldn't stop it. "I love you Aaron." My stomach instantly clenched, and my insides writhed coldly with fear. I had said it too soon, he was too insecure to handle it, it was the wrong time, he didn't love me back, he would think that I was a big clumsy stupid galoot. A million self-reprimands hit me at once, and I cringed a little. My erection had been like a long hot stone against my thigh, but now it shriveled with shame. Aaron had frozen in my arms, his shoulders trembling. Then he suddenly turned around, and his body was pressed fully and intimately into mine. I could feel his prick against my stomach, through the fabric of my pajama shirt. It was so hard and hot. His mouth was against mine, and even though my eyes were wide open, it was so dark that I couldn't see him. I felt his eyelashes against my cheeks, felt the hot pearls of the tears that fell from them. I could feel his breath in my mouth and against my cheeks, I was inhaling his breath, inhaling him. I was dizzy with how close we were. His hair brushed my cheeks and he was making noises that were a clumsy mix between laughter and sobs and moans of passion. "I love you Daniel." He whispered, burrowing his head under my chin to nip at my neck in a way that drove me crazy. "I love you, I love you, I love you Daniel." As if remembering himself, he drew his pelvis away from where he had been grinding his throbbing cock against my torso. I felt high and dizzy on love as our tongues and hands explored. I was careful not to touch his groin, but our admission had given him a generous boost of courage. He let me put my hands through the seam of his shirt and explore his chest. His nipples were hard and velvety, poking into my fingers as I fondled them. His chest was a little soft, tantalizingly smooth. I latched onto his neck and sucked, drawing an excited little moan from him. His hands were inexperienced and timid and shy. They explored my body in such a sweet way. I was insecure enough about my body, but Aaron somehow made me feel more confident. With my other boyfriends, I had always been sucking in my gut, and nervous about having sex with the lights on, and ashamed when I ate in front of them. Aaron made me feel sexy, just the way I was. Soon, we were exploring each other with only one hand. My cock was so hard, my body was flushed and aroused and amazed. I hadn't had sex in more then a year, and I found myself having to slow down, to deny myself, just to make it last longer. His tongue was in my mouth, my left hand was in his hair, my right was flashing up and down my cock. His breath was hot and tasted like wine. I felt his hot flushed cheek against mine as he whispered in my ear. His breath tickled me. "Daniel! I'm gonna... I'm gonna come!" He sounded breathless, and joyful. "I love you Aaron." I whispered, stroking my cock harder, feeling heat build up to a tremendous peak inside of me. --------AARON-------- For a moment, when we were both done, we didn't speak. Daniel moved around, handed me a tissue from the table by his bed, and we both cleaned up. It was too dark to see anything. After I had wiped myself and pulled the pajama pants back up, I moved into his arms. I was kind of hot, especially after jerking off under the covers, but there was no where I'd rather be. "Daniel?" He kissed my forehead. He was breathing deeply, and I could feel his muscular chest against mine. "Hmm?" He sounded a little tired. His lips were smiling against my forehead. "Do you have to go back to the couch?" He chuckled softly, and kissed me again, this time on the nose. "I'll stay here all night Aaron. Wild horses couldn't drag me away." We got comfortable. I slept on my stomach, with my arms under the pillow, and he rested on his side, with his arm over my shoulders. I wanted to say something, but it took me a minute to think it through. "Daniel?" "Hmm?" He sounded very sleepy now. "Thank you Daniel. I just want to thank you. This was amazing." "Mmm... You're welcome Baby..." His words faded into a soft breathy snore. I giggled in the dark, and closed my eyes. This wasn't first time that I had been with a man. But it was the first time I hadn't been raped or coerced or uncomfortable. This was the first time that it had been something beautiful. I loved him so much, it hurt. Tenderness Ch. 05 *I just want to say that I am SO sorry for the delay on all of my stories. It's been a busy semester and I've just gotten off for Winter Break. Thank you for waiting, and here is the next chapter of Tenderness! All characters are 18+* --------DANIEL-------- I'm not much of a morning person. When I was roused to a very sluggish state of semi-consciousness at about seven AM, I went back to sleep right away. I was roused by the warm body under my left arm yawning, squirming, and leaving the bed. I rolled sleepily into the warm indent his body had left, and dozed, waiting for him to come back. When he didn't come back after about ten minutes of dozing, I started to wake up. Very slowly, might I add. Waking up wasn't one of my strong suits. I yawned and stretched, and went limp. The bed was so warm... I didn't want to leave. Eventually I did get up, stretching and wincing from the slight headache I had. If I hadn't cut us off when I did, it would have been worse, but my head still ached hollowly. The strangest thing though, I could smell bacon. I might as well have been bugs bunny, or maybe the coyote, floating heels up and following my nose. I stumbled down the hallway, eyes half shut. I nearly tripped over Zoe and she gave me a reproachful meow. I got into the kitchen, and Aaron was already there, moving around the kitchen. A panful of bacon was sizzling on the stovetop (with Noel attentively sitting near the stove, eager little opportunist!) and a chopping board piled high with chopped onions and green peppers and garlic. A bag of cheese and a carton of eggs were sitting on the counter. Aaron turned and looked at me. He was red-eyed from chopping the onions, and he smiled shyly at me. "Morning Daniel." He murmured. "Was it okay that I did this?" I fell to my knees melodramatically. "Oh Aaron, I might have to beg you to come over and make my breakfast every day! This smells so good!" He giggled and sniffled as he went back to chopping the onions. "Get up and set the table silly, the eggs aren't even cooking yet! Do you like peppers on your omelet?" I got up and snuck up behind him to nuzzle the back of his neck. I could see a lopsided red mark that I had left there last night. He giggled and leaned back into me. He looked so sweet and sleepy and happy. "I'll take everything you have out Babe." I felt ridiculous and giddy with love. He finished chopping and started mixing bacon and eggs and all of the ingredients together to make omelet mix. I set up two plates, two cups, and two forks. I shooed Noel from the kitchen over and over while he gave me a mournful look. I fed the animals and poured us both some orange juice. The cooking omelets smelled divine, and my stomach rumbled. I almost never had breakfast. I had eggs and bacon around the house because I liked to eat them for lunch and dinner, and they were easy and fast. Aaron was so at home in the kitchen. He had that quick easy grace when it came to working with food. Little things, like how fast and efficiently he chopped the vegetables and the practiced flip of the wrist when he folded the omelets. I had a dining room table and I put our places right next to each other. He slid the omelets onto our plates, blushing cutely when I praised them over and over. "Stop it! I just made you breakfast! Its not a big deal..." He was blushing bright red. I swooped in and kissed his mouth hard and released with a loud smack. "Means a lot to me sweetheart." I murmured, grinning ear to ear. --------AARON-------- It was the morning after. I had never had a morning after before! Daniel was such a joker, but he kept making me blush. He was sort of clingy this morning, but in a good way. I loved how he kept reaching out to touch me, to brush his hand across my shoulder or cheek. To give me a quick kiss, to mess with my hair. I thought he might be a little horny, but was being careful not to push me too far. I felt a squirmy excited little feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to be the one to initiate it this time. If we went slow... If we went nice and slow, I could do this! First, breakfast. I was surprisingly hungry. With a happy little feeling, I realized that I was probably hungry because I had had sex last night! Okay, maybe a lot of couples wouldn't consider it sex. Other then a few kisses and some light petting, we hadn't even touched each other. It had been in the dark, so we hadn't even seen each other. But considering how maudlin and shy I had been last night, hell, how maudlin and shy I had been since I was a little kid, I thought that I was doing great. I rinsed the dishes off, stalling a little because I didn't quite know where to begin. Finally I just sort of blurted it out. "Um, Daniel?" He had been in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. "Hmm?" "Um... Nevermind." I instantly felt like smacking myself. I needed to get ballsier then this if I was ever going to initiate anything. I walked to the bathroom and he was gargling. He grinned at me, innocent of the struggle going on in my mind. "Hey, what's up? Did you want to stay over for a while, maybe watch a movie or--" I interrupted him by jumping up on my toes and giving him a kiss. The kiss was passionate and clumsy and quick, with my tongue in his mouth. I fell back onto my heels, and felt a hot blush spreading over my face. "--something..." Daniel looked slightly dazed for a second, and then he smiled again and cupped my face in his hands. He pressed his mouth into mine and I whimpered softly. He was a much better kisser then me. His lips were gentle, and he had a way of teasing me in a very playful and erotic way. He would deepen the kiss, and then lean back just enough so that our lips were barely touching and I would have to lunge forward a little to continue it. He was such a sexy kisser! I decided to try. I took a step backwards, and he had to take a step forward. I drew him down the hall, nearly tripped over Zoe, and teased him into the bedroom. He suddenly became very careful. His eyes were open, and his hands were very gentle. I was slightly frustrated, but at the same time very glad. I still felt good, but I didn't want to go too far. He reached for the lights, but I grabbed his hand, and kissed the palm. "Leave them on?" I felt anxious, but not scared. I wanted him to see me, and I wanted to see him. He smiled and kissed me again. I sucked on his tongue gently. I could feel him. It was an intoxicating dizzying feeling. We were pressed wholly against each other. I could feel his cock against my hip, it was like a length of stone through the fabric of his pajamas. I knew that he could feel me. His breath was slightly ragged. He whispered into my ear. "I love you Aaron." "I love you, too." I whispered. We had to break apart to get into the bed. I lay down on my side, facing him. He shoved a pillow in my direction, smiling shyly. I rested my head on the pillow and blushed. I would be lying if I said it wasn't awkward, especially that first moment, where we didn't really know how to begin. The dark had helped us last night, now it was more awkward. Daniel helped to break the tension. He chuckled, leaned forward, and gave me a tender kiss. "Want me to go first baby?" I blushed and nodded. "Please." We leaned our upper bodies a little closer so our foreheads were touching. I was looking into his beautiful brown eyes. He had little pale flecks around the pupils of his eyes that looked like flakes of gold. He pecked me on the lips, and then reached into the waistband of his pajama pants. My cheeks were flaring with heat, and my groin was throbbing. He pulled out his cock, and I saw it for the first time. It was beautiful. He seemed shy and a little unsure of what to do. I didn't have the courage to touch him where I really wanted to touch him, but I reached out and touched his chest, I had never felt anything so intimate. I could feel his heartbeat. He stroked his cock slowly, moaning softly. His cock was uncircumcised and dark skinned, with a thick base and a large shiny helmet. If I had to guess, maybe seven inches. He was so tall, that I had been a little afraid that he would be bigger. I used to have fantasies about large cocks, but ever since Mr. Rapist, not at all. I don't know why I had ever fantasized about a huge cock, it hurt too much. I tried to shake that monster out of my thoughts. I leaned forward and kissed him, a small needy sound escaping me. I reached into my own waistband and pulled out my cock, trembling a little with my own daring. He smiled, and there was so much love in his eyes. Well, lust too, but there was still love. "It's beautiful Aaron." We stroked ourselves and kissed. He always let me make the first move. His eyes on me made me so aroused that I found myself having to hold back. --------DANIEL-------- Aaron was so timid, but he was finally mine. I just felt so possessive of him. He looked so beautiful, across from me on the bed. He had unbuttoned his shirt, and I could see his vulnerable white chest and stomach tensing and heaving with his breath. I could see his nipples, they looked so sweet and tender, so pale and tiny and erect with his arousal. His cock was about five inches long, with a pronounced upward curve. It was circumcised and flushed and precome was dribbling from the slit, and I longed to lick it up. He wasn't ready for that yet, but maybe he would be soon. His blushing face was surrounded by his messy brown hair and he was gasping and his pale brown eyes kept looking right at me, as if for assurance. I unbuttoned my shirt and he blushed and reached for my chest with his free hand. He buried it in my chest hair, and tweaked my nipple with a mischievous little smile. He was so sweet, I just wanted to eat him up, and I longed to pull him closer. I kissed him hard, I needed to touch him, to feel him. I was getting close, heat was building up in my groin. I nibbled on his full lower lip. "I'm gonna come Aaron." I whispered, panting hard. "Me too." He whispered, his eyes shining with arousal. He moaned softly, and his hand started moving faster and faster on his delicious curved cock. I just wanted to reach down and grab it, but not yet. I stroked my own cock, slowing down to tantalize myself before speeding up and gasping for air. He closed his eyes, but I kept mine open. We came at almost exactly the same time. --- After we had cleaned up wordlessly, we ended up looking at each other and bursting out laughing. He hugged me tight and went to change back into his clothes. We were both kind of embarrassed, and it had been more then a little awkward, but I was glad that it had happened. For the obvious, as well as it proved that last night hadn't been a fluke of some sort. A third bonus, he was getting a little bolder. There was just one thing I had noticed that had me thinking. Last night, he had said something about how he had been scared to have sex with his one boyfriend. But his boyfriend had been before the rape. I had always assumed that his fear of sex had stemmed from that bastard who raped him that night at the Purple Rain. But he had been afraid before that. Had he had a bad experience with sex even earlier on? Had he been abused? I just didn't know, and I didn't want to ask him, not yet. We put in a movie, The Matrix, and snuggled up on the couch. As it turned out, the Matrix was his favorite movie of all time, and I had to deal with him whispering the lines of the actors with the exact same inflections and pitch, including an eerily accurate impression of Carrie Ann Moss. If I had closed my eyes, I could have sworn she was in the room. --------AARON-------- All good things have to come to an end, I guess. After the Matrix, Daniel finished getting dressed and he gave me a ride home. He gave me a kiss that made my breath come short and my toes curl in my shoes. I stood on my doorstep, breathless as his car drove away. I already missed him. Jesus, was I that clingy? I went inside and checked my emails on my laptop. The very first thing I saw made me gasp in shock. --------DANIEL-------- I had just stopped at a cafe to grab some coffee when my phone buzzed. I saw it was Aaron. I answered it, and was in the process of saying 'hi' when he interrupted me, talking about a mile a minute. I could barely understand what he was saying. "Omigod omigod omigod!!!!! Daniel! You'll never, he... that dumb fucking... omigod!! I was checking my emails and... Omigod!!! Daniel! I just got an interview!!!" It took a second to register. I had just gotten to the head of the line so I got out of line so the woman behind me could take her order. "Aaron, what's going on?" "Ohh! I got an INTERVIEW Daniel! That same school with the dick principal that told everyone I was gay? They got a new principal a few months ago, and their English teacher is on maternity leave! The job is only about four weeks, but the old teacher is moving, so if they like me they might keep me on for next year! Ohhhh! I GOT AN INTERVIEW!!" Aaron sounded like he was bouncing off the walls. I had a huge smile on my face and I couldn't stop it. "Hey, that's fantastic Aaron, how--" "I know, right? Sorry, sorry, what were you saying?" I laughed out loud. "I was going to say that that sounds great! I bet I can get my family to celebrate, does that sound good?" "Hell yeah! I have Tuesday off... The interview is on Wednesday... I have an interview! Holy shit I just can't stop saying that!" He giggled maniacally and I laughed with him. He was so fucking cute right now, I wished that I was there with him, but I probably needed to give him a little space, didn't want to smother him right away. "Sounds amazing Aaron. I'll call my parents, talk to you later?" "Yup, I love you Daniel." He giggled again. "That's the first time I said that on a phone before!" "Goofball." I chuckled. "I love you too, seeya." "Bye bye." I hung up. I was so happy for him. An interview didn't mean much, but he hadn't even had a chance for months, and he had really been looking. I was just glad he had an interview, and I was hoping that it would go well for him. I walked out of the shop, smiling for him, and it wasn't until I reached the office that I realized I had forgotten to get coffee like I had planned. --- I got the family together again. This time, Marc and Diane weren't going to make it, but my uncle Jack, aunt Marie, and my cousin Tyler were coming. I even heard that Tyler was going to bring his boyfriend over. It had been almost eight months, and I still hadn't met him. I had to be at work until seven, so Aaron was already in the flat when I got there. I moved through the restaurant and climbed up the stairs. When I opened the door, I could feel my jaw swing open. He was carrying a glass pitcher full of ice water, and when he saw me, he was so startled that he dropped it. I gasped as ice water flooded over my knees and feet and drenched the wooden floor. The pitcher shattered. Aaron fell on his knees and let out a panicked gasp as he cut himself on some of the glass shards. "Ow! Oh my God!! I'm so sorry Mrs. Arceiro! Owowowowow! I'll clean it up!" He was panicking, and he looked stricken with embarrassment. "You cut your hair." I could hear myself say stupidly. Then I shook my head and got down on my knees to help pick up the pieces of glass. It took five minutes, several soaked washcloths, four band-aids, a tearful apology, and my exasperating mother insisting that no, it wasn't Aaron's fault, but eventually we were back on track. Mom insisted over and over that she had never liked the pitcher, and eventually he calmed down. The pitcher had actually been a mother's day gift from Marc, but my mother wasn't one to cry over spilled milk. Plus, Aaron had actually started crying with frustration and shame when he apologized, so she hadn't wanted to agitate my poor sensitive boyfriend any further. I couldn't stop staring at his cute new haircut... It wasn't too short, it stopped at the nape of his neck, and he had teased it a little, so it looked cute and messy and it framed his heart shaped face. With his square black glasses, he just looked adorable! I couldn't help it anymore. I put down the potato masher and scooped Aaron up in my arms. I swung him around as he giggled helplessly. When I set him down I kissed him so hard that he gasped. Mom playfully smacked me with the rolled dish towel, you can guess where. "Get to work you two... no shenanigans unless you want to clean your own damn sheets." My mother was speaking sternly, but grinning as she said it. Predictably, Aaron blushed. He started talking, gushing about the interview, and how he had wanted to get a shorter, more professional haircut. "My dad's probably gonna be over the moon." He murmured, looking suddenly a little depressed. "Hey, don't let him get you down sweetheart." That was my mother, the sweetest, toughest, kindest woman who ever lived. "You're here, and here you're not allowed to frown, so lemme se you smile." Aaron gave her one of his shy smiles, and I hadn't thought it possible, but he looked even cuter with short hair. He looked gorgeous today. He was a little more casual then he usually was; with acid-washed jeans and a black shirt with sleeves that reached partway down his forearms. The shirt was tight in all the right places, showing his slim sexy figure. Also, it had a wide neck, so I was able to see a few inches of his pale pristine shoulders, and the sexy lines of his collarbone. He was so cute! He had a hemp necklace today, a matching hemp bracelet, some silver rings. He even had a tri-force belt buckle, which just cracked me up. He was such a nerd! A CUTE nerd! I leaned in and nibbled on one of his newly-exposed ears, and he squealed and slapped me playfully. "Bad Daniel! Bad dog!" He giggled. "Am I gonna have to spank you?" I nuzzled up against his neck, smelling soap and light musky cologne and feeling his warm, fresh-showered skin. I nipped him there, and his breath came in a ragged gasp. He froze in the middle of putting pot-roast on the ceramic platter and shivered deliciously. "Is that a promise?" I purred, nipping him again to hear him gasp. I yelped myself as my mother thwacked me with the towel. Her voice was thick with the laughter she was trying desperately to hold back. "Let Aaron work... Jack and Marie and the kids are gonna be here at any moment..." "Yes mom." I said seriously. As soon as her back was turned, I gave Aaron's perky little ass a light slap, just to make him jump and hear him giggle. I had loved his ponytail, but he looked even cuter now! I just wanted to eat him up! And from the coy look in his sexy brown eyes, it seemed like that could be a distinct possibility. --------AARON-------- I felt so stupid! I had dropped her nice pitcher, and I had upset the knife rack, causing three sharp blades to clatter on the floor. I had cut-up knees, and Daniel had cut his hand... I was a disaster in the kitchen, and after nearly dropping the plate of tender roast and gravy, she seemed to realize it at last, and sent me to set the table in the dining room, smiling ruefully. I loved cooking, but I was way too clumsy. I had been worried about Daniel... Mrs. Arceiro loved my new haircut, and I liked it, but I knew that Daniel had loved my old hair... I needn't have worried. If anything, he was acting kind of ridiculous now that my hair was shorter. He kept teasing me, touching me, kissing me. He couldn't keep his hands off me. Part of me was squirming with embarrassment at being fondled in front of his mother, and the rest of me just wanted to barricade his bedroom door and get naked with him. Tenderness Ch. 05 He looked stunning, despite his protests. He kept his hair in a short braid for work, and I thought that it was nothing short of sexy. He was cultivating a small beard on his chin, a vertical rectangle below his full lower lip. The outlines were meticulously cared for, and I thought it looked very sexy on him. I kept blushing, imagining what that little patch of rough dark hair would feel like, on my face, on my chest, and lower down... I blushed and leaned forward to hide my erection, cursing myself. Daniel gave me a knowing look, grinning devilishly. He had changed out of his work clothes, but he wasn't all the way dressed yet. He had changed into jeans, and a black undershirt. A copper chain swung on his dark chest, and I could see the outline of his muscular chest and slightly softened stomach. He smelled of cologne, but I could swear that he must have been pumping out pheromones or something, because he just smelled amazing to me. He was totally showing off, and loving every minute of my awkward reaction. I flicked his sexy ass with the dish towel as he passed, and he pretended to give a high-pitched yip of surprise, smiling roguishly at me. I jumped a little when the door to the flat opened and five people flooded through. Instantly, Daniel's merciless teasing stopped and he went up to hug his tall handsome uncle and his tall handsome cousin and his short beautiful aunt. His cousin's boyfriend stood to one side, looking a little awkward, and his father pushed through the crowd to lift up Mrs. Arceiro in a sweeping hug. I got introduced to everyone. They were all talking at once, so I was pretty shy. I really wanted them all to like me. Jack was a big guy, a little heavy. He grinned all the time, and like Annabel, he had bright grey eyes despite his dark Greek-Ojibwa skin tones. He was Mrs. Arceiro's younger brother, and their surname was Alanis. When Daniel introduced us, he scooped me up in his arms, and I choked a little as he lifted me above the ground. "So nice to finally meet you, Aaron!" He boomed. "Danny wont stop talking about you!" I grinned up at Daniel, and he blushed. Marie stepped forward. She was so beautiful. Other then the flatness of her chest and a slight heaviness to her jaw, there were no indications that she hadn't been born this way. She was wearing a knee-length black skirt and a scoop-necked blue top and a light scarf. Her hair was dark blonde, and almost to the middle of her back. She was wearing light makeup, and beaming at me. I had been terrified of making mistakes, so Daniel had coached me. Marie was to be called Marie, not Mark. She, not he. She hadn't gotten any actual surgery, but had been taking estrogen for years. I hugged her, a little awkwardly, but she seemed to forgive me for my blushing clumsy greeting. "Great to meet you!" She cooed, and her voice was very feminine, just slightly deep. Tyler bounced forward. He was adopted, and he shared none of the family's features. He was lanky, and dressed somewhat femininely. He was wearing a stretchy top with horizontal stripes and a boat neck, and clingy black dance pants that lovingly cupped every curve. He was very lean and muscular. Daniel had told me that he danced and swam. He was living in Duluth right now, and had just come down so his boyfriend could meet the whole family. His lean muscular body put me to shame, and he looked slightly haughty. He was nice, but he was attractive, and he knew it. He smiled hugely at me, showing a mouthful of blinding toothpaste-ad teeth. He bowed jokingly and shook my hand. "Glad to meet you, Daniel wanted to show you right away! Everyone got miffed at me because I waited a few months to see if mine would last!" He turned to coax his boyfriend closer, and I saw Daniel scowling. Tyler seemed a bit air-headed, and he had no idea that he had just accused our relationship of not lasting very long. His boyfriend was just as slim and pretty (if not quite as muscular) as he was, but a bit older. He was slender and dark-haired, and he had one of those long angled faces that seemed sexy and a bit feminine. He was looking a little apprehensive at being here, so I felt a bit of a connection with him. His feminine qualities were accented by the amount of dark eyeliner he wore, as well as his bright maroon fingernails, numerous ear-piercing, and the v-necked girl's top he was wearing. Tyler was almost bouncing with excitement. "Uncle Nick? Aunt Alexandra? Danny? This is the boyfriend I've been 'hiding' from you. This is Axel Rogers!" Axel chuckled and gave a pretend curtsy. Annabel bounced through the doorway, cute in baggy jeans and a maroon leather jacket. The gang was all here, and we sat down to eat. --- It was my second time here. Also, a lot of attention was taken away from me by Tyler and his boyfriend, so I was able to sit next to Daniel in relative peace. The family was indeed 'a bit miffed' that Tyler had been dating Axel for eight months before bringing him home, but they made it up by trying to stuff him (he barely ate more then a salad and a little dollop of mashed potatoes) and give him some of the Arceiro family wine (which he had no problem imbibing a lot of). I just liked to sit back and listen. After a few questions, Marie and Tyler were tactful enough to realize that I was too damn shy for my own good and stopped asking questions. Marie kept giving me kind looks, and laughing at my few clumsy jokes. Dinner was amazing, as usual. I tried to drink less wine then I had last time, but it was very good. Because I had broken the pitcher, if I wanted to have anything but wine, I would have to get up. I didn't want to leave the table, leave the amazing circle of people that I was starting to think of as my family, so I ended up drinking too much wine. When I went to the bathroom in the middle of the meal, my cheeks were bright red, and I was giggly. I tried to compose myself, get a strait face, but I kept laughing at myself. I just gave up after a bit and went back to the rest of the family. I was a bit bolder with five or six glasses of wine in me, so I did tell everyone about the interview, and the dick principal who had made it so hard to get a job. "Divine justice!" Axel muttered. He had drunk more then me, but other then being a bit more talkative, he still looked sober. "Cosmic justice, nay, universal justice... It's perfect, you getting a job at the place where homophobic fucks like him tried to keep you out!" I decided that I liked Tyler's boyfriend after that. --------DANIEL-------- Tyler didn't drink, and he decided that we were a little too drunk to be trusted to walk home alone. Tyler could be a little thoughtless sometimes, but he really was a nice guy. His new boyfriend was a lot older then him, and was definitely giving out a 'bottom' vibe. I wondered how they got along in bed, especially when Tyler told me that he was a tried-and-true bottom, and that he absolutely hated being on top. Aaron was tipsy. Okay, maybe a little more then tipsy. In the backseat of the car he was leaning on me, giggling at nothing and playfully attempting to tickle me. He found out that I wasn't ticklish, and pouted adorably. "It's not fair! I'm so ticklish, I can't get you back though!" I poked his stomach and he bent over with a little squeal. "Not fair! So not fair!" With that, I attacked him, mercilessly tickling his soft stomach and sensitive armpits. He laughed breathlessly and tried to push my hands away, his face red and tears of laughter streaming from his eyes. "Enough!" He gasped, going limp. "I surrender!" Axel looked back at us, grinning. He seemed very amused. He could hold his liquor better then both of us, he had gone through more wine then both of us and still seemed perfectly sober. Aaron sat up, breathing heavily and giggling sporadically. We got to my apartment and I opened the door for him. "Thanks for the ride guys, it was nice to meet you!" "Yeah, thanks a lot Ty, nice to meet you Axel!" And with that they drove away and we went up to the apartment. Aaron was smiling up at me, looking coy and shy and unbelievably cute. His glasses were crooked, and that just added to his charm. I fixed them, and we started up the stairs. I would be lying if I said I wasn't aroused by this point. He blushed, and I could see him trying to fix his acid-washed jeans a little. I could see the bulge briefly as he adjusted, and my mouth watered. I wanted to taste him so bad. My first boyfriend didn't like me touching his dick, but Isaac had loved it more then anything. I had loved giving him blowjobs. I knew that I was a top, and I knew that Aaron was definitely a bottom, but I just loved giving oral sex. Just something about how good it felt to make my partner feel good. The sounds he made, the sheer delightful feeling of bringing his cock from something small and soft to something large and hard. Just thinking about it was giving me a raging hard-on. When I looked at Aaron, he blushed and looked down. Wether through low-grade telepathy or pheromones or just body language, we were both suddenly and insanely horny. Outside the door to my apartment, he gave me a shy look, biting his lower lip. I could see his eyes dart to my crotch, but he looked eager, not frightened. I fumbled with the key, and he giggled softly. I smiled sheepishly, and this time, the key slid in. The door closed behind us. Noel gave us a sleepy look and laid his head on his paws. Aaron looked up at me in the darkness of the apartment, and then stepped in. He got on his toes and suddenly we were kissing. His sweet full mouth tasted like wine and chocolate (Mom's chocolate pie was to blame for that) He leaned forward, in an almost aggressive way. I was so surprised when my back hit the wall. He used his new leverage to get on his toes and kiss me harder, with a soft moan. I could feel his hard cock against my thigh. "I missed you." He whispered. He broke the kiss and started walking to the bedroom. He had a spring in his step, his face was a beautiful blushing mixture of shy and eager and cocky and cute. I followed him, a hoarse chuckle in my throat. He was so sexy... I was so lucky to have him. In the bedroom, his shyness overcame him. I left the lights off, but I kept the door open. That way, I could see him. He stood, facing the bed, his back to me. I moved in, pressing my entire body firmly against his. One hand caressed the side of his face, and the other went in front of his slim stomach, pressing him even further against me, so he could feel how hard I was, how badly I wanted him. He gasped softly, and then groaned and pressed back against me. My own breath was coming quicker, in hard gasps. I reached down, and I was squeezing his package through the mottled jeans. He whimpered softly, and arched his head to the side. I leaned down and kissed him hard on the exposed curve of his neck. I sucked and he moaned, practically squirming with how good it felt. I wanted to go slow with him, but damn! He was so sexy right now, in how he was acting and responding. I kissed him again and nudged him forward onto the bed. He turned onto his back and smiled shyly and happily up at me. I wanted him so badly right now, I hoped he would be ready. --------AARON-------- I knew that he wanted to do this so badly. I tried to encourage him. I crawled on the bed and lay on my back. I unbuttoned my jeans, and looked up at him, breathlessly. I needed to tell him this. He crawled over me, and he was kissing me. "Daniel?" I whispered between kisses. He kissed my neck, he was already starting to go down on me, and I had to stop him, it felt so good... "Hmm?" "Wait... Please, just for a minute." He looked up at me, confused. "Do you not want me to? We can do other things..." I shook my head. "No! I do want you to! I want it more then anything!" He chuckled and kissed my mouth, and I was distracted for a moment. "But... But we need a condom..." He looked horrified. "No! Not yet, you aren't healed yet... I just wanted to--" I cut him off. "I know what you want to do... But I'm still taking medication. When... That night when we met, he gave me Chlamydia." There, I had said it. And to my surprise, I could feel some of the anger and shame and grief, but it wasn't debilitating. I still felt happy, I still felt horny, I was in Daniel's arms. He was very quiet. "Why didn't you tell me Aaron? Jesus..." His voice broke slightly, and he kissed my chin gently. I kissed his nose. "Don't worry Daniel, I just don't want to make you sick. Chlamydia can be transmitted orally. Do you have any condoms?" He smiled, and I could see the effort that went into the smile. He kissed each of my eyelids. "Sure thing Babe... One minute..." He left, and I bit my lip. Why hadn't I told him? I guess it just never came up after I trusted him enough to tell him. I was overjoyed at how much safer and more comfortable I was around him, and my cock was standing up through my open fly, constricted by my pale blue underwear. I giggled to myself, and started to strip. When he came in, he had something tucked in his hand, and I could practically hear his jaw drop. --------DANIEL-------- Why hadn't he told me? It hurt a bit to realize how badly that fucker had hurt him, and how ashamed of it he was. My erection had wilted, and I was seething with anger and pity and frustration. I grabbed the packet of condoms that I had gotten at a Walgreens just the day before. I had some left over from when I was with Isaac, but I wasn't sure how long condoms took to expire so I had gotten some new ones. One of those little variety packs. I opened the bedroom door, and I gasped with shock. All of my anger and frustration dissolved. He was naked, gloriously naked and stretched out on my bed. His face was sweet and blushing and framed by his pale brown hair. He had gotten rid of his glasses and his dark eyes sparkled in the dim light. His slender body was soft and pale and beautiful, spread out for my eyes, and his hand was on his slender cock, stroking. I could see a pearl of precome glittering at the tip of his flushed head. "...Wow..." I whispered, feeling my face flush just as deeply. He giggled, a little nervously. I moved forward and his smile widened. "Um... I feel a little underdressed." He whispered, blushing. I realized that I was still fully dressed. I crawled onto the bed and squirmed out of my shirt. I leaned and kissed his soft mouth, we were only touching with our mouths. "Better." He whispered breathlessly, his eyes sparkling. I crouched over him, and I groaned softly. My cock was pressing against my jeans so hard it was almost painful. I lowered my body so I was touching his slim torso with mine. I kissed him hard and he arched his sweet little body up into mine with a soft moan. He cupped the back of my neck with one arm, and the other hand was on my back, pressing my hips into his. I could feel his cock rubbing against my jeans. We were so close to each other. No more of the tentative touches, careful kisses. I carefully watched him, made sure I wasn't hurting him or frightening him. He was gasping, his eyes were sparkling. He was the one leading my hands to his body, encouraging me to touch him intimately, to touch him harder, to kiss him harder. I could feel his hand at the waistband of my jeans. He was clumsy because his hand was sandwiched between our bodies, but determined. I pulled back a little to kiss him on the nose. "I love you Aaron." I whispered. "Are you ready?" I could feel his flushed cheeks against my lips, against my cheek. "I love you too Daniel." He whispered. He sounded so happy, so aroused, so shy. He kissed my mouth, his mouth tasted of chocolate and wine. He was so sweet. I kissed his chin, and he whimpered softly. I was crouching over him, he clung to my shoulders with his hands, very tentatively pushing me down. He was so shy, so timid. He had been very timid with his only boyfriend... It was a lot of pressure. I wanted everything to be perfect for him. I went down more slowly then I had ever gone before. I didn't want to spook him. I spent a full minute just kissing and nibbling and licking the side of his neck. He stroked my hair, and whimpered softly. I could feel his hips moving slowly, grinding his exposed genitals against my stomach in a way that drove me crazy. He moaned softly when I kissed the bony ridge of his collarbone. I ran my lips down the ridge, and then went lower. I could feel the very faint soft peach-fuzz of his chest hair against my lips. He didn't have a lot, but a small patch, about the size of a lemon. It was clear and soft. I nuzzled my cheek against the slight roughness, and moved over to kiss and suck on his tiny flat nipples, bringing them to points. He tangled his fingers in my hair, and he was very excited. His soft gasps and whimpers and squeals got louder as I ran gentle lines of kisses down his soft flat stomach. I rested my hand flat on his hip, and I could feel soft pubic hair with my thumb. I stroked it. My mouth was above his navel, but my hands were flat on either side of his groin, and my fingers teasing the skin all around. I could feel his cock brushing and grinding against my chest. "Please Daniel." He whispered. His voice was shaking, and I looked up, but he wasn't scared or anxious. His eyes were dark and glazed with arousal. I reached into my pocket and took out the foil-wrapped condom. It was a 'bare skin' condom and it promised that it was 40% thinner then other condoms. I hoped that that was true. I wanted him to feel this, to feel me. I lifted myself and lovingly stroked his throbbing bright-red cock. The head was flushed and he was so hard... I stroked the head with my thumb, and he whimpered. When I withdrew my thumb a string of precome connected to his cock to the ball of my thumb. It took all of my self control to stop myself from bringing my thumb to my mouth, but instead I took the condom and carefully applied it to his cock, rolling it down to the base. I kissed the inside of his thigh. He was propped up on his elbows, looking at me, flushed and smiling. I stroked my fingers through his pubic hair, trimmed short and furry and a shade of bright auburn. "You are so beautiful Aaron." I whispered. He gave me a sweet smile, and he let his head fall back with a gasp as I reached between his slim thighs and gently cradled his ball sack. The skin was soft and fuzzy and loose and warm. I could feel his testes resting in the palm of my hand, heavy and loose. I chuckled. "Do you like that Aaron?" I kneaded ever-so-gently, rolling the soft orbs in my hand. My other hand encircled the base of his cock and moved it so the tip drew little circles in the air. I could see beads of sweat on Aaron's forehead as he moaned and buried his fingers in my hair. "Please Daniel!" He moaned. "You're driving me crazy!" And that's when I was sure. I was absolutely positive that it was okay to go down on my sweet beautiful boyfriend. Through a condom, sure, but that was only temporary. "As you wish Aaron." I whispered, drawing a breathless giggle from him. I leaned up and I kissed the tip of his dick through the thin warm rubber. I opened my mouth and engulfed the slender head of his cock in my mouth. I could feel the warmth of him, all through the very thin rubber. I could taste traces of lubricant from the condom, but that disappeared, and soon enough it was easy to forget that the rubber was there at all. He was cradling my head in his hands, looking down at me from where his head was propped up on pillows. His eyes were open so wide, so warm and filled with love. His cheeks were flushed with a splash of hectic color. Tenderness Ch. 05 With my fingers, I massaged the fuzzy skin at the base of his groin, feeling his muscles flex as he arched his hips. He was moving needfully, but carefully. He didn't want to choke me on accident. He was making little gasping noises, he was so sensitive. "Daniel..." He whispered, arching his head back and closing his eyes. He was trembling. He whispered my name again, stroking my hair. He was shaking, on the ragged edge, trying to hold himself back. I gently squeezed his testes, just enough for a gentle pressure. He gasped, and suddenly I felt them tighten slightly, move towards his body. I wished that I could have felt him coming. It had always been one of the most rewarding parts of blowing Isaac. Hearing him moan, and feeling his cock spasm into my mouth. I could still feel the tip filling, still see his chest heaving for breath, still hear him gasp and cry out. His fingertips dug into the roots of my hair. I gently stroked his groin, burying my fingers in his soft pubic hair. Up close, each strand looked like a wire of bright copper. I massaged him gently, until I could feel his cock going soft between my lips and through the warm rubber. I kissed his hip, and looked up at him tentatively. My own cock was aching and leaking all over my underwear. He sat up, and cradled my head in his hands. His cheeks were covered in hectic bright color. He leaned forward and kissed me hard. He removed the condom and rolled on top of me. He was still breathing hard, and I could see tears in the corners of his eyes. I cupped his face in my hands to break the kiss. "Hey... Hey Aaron, what's wrong? Are you okay?" I wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and it rested on my fingertip like a jewel. He gave me a watery smile and licked the tear from my fingertip. "I'm so happy." He whispered, kissing me twice on the lips. "I want to do it to you now." I moaned softly when he reached down and coyly squeezed my groin through my jeans. "Are you sure...?" I whispered breathlessly between kisses. He nipped my lower lip between his teeth, grinning with his eyes shining with love. "Never been surer." I rested one hand on his smooth naked back and the other cupping the back of his head. He was kissing my neck, and he nipped me there too. I chuckled. "You're a little biter aren't you? I'm not sure wether to kiss you or spank you!" In response, he bit my chin and gave me a shy cheeky grin. "Give me a break... It's my first time." He nuzzled his soft cheek against my chest. He was so cute... The blanket was covering us from the waist down, and as he slid down the blanket crumpled, revealing some of his pale skin. He kissed and nibbled each of my nipples, turning them into hard sensitive points. For a moment he rested his face against my chest. He smiled up at me after a moment. His angelic face was surrounded by his soft silky brown hair. "You're heart is beating really fast." He whispered. I tucked his hair behind his ear. "Now who do you think is responsible for that?" He kissed my chest and moved down further. I jumped a little when he stuck his tongue inside my navel. It was just so unexpected, and it made my groin twitch warmly. My cock was rock-hard through all of this. He was being very cute and sweet, but damn it if he wasn't also being the sexiest little man ever! My adorable Aaron hesitated a little once he was between my legs. His hand was cupping my crotch, curiously feeling me through the fabric, squeezing lightly. He ran his fingers through my crooked black treasure trail, deep in thought. It struck me as a little comical, he was naked, kneeling between my legs, and the distant puzzled look on his face made him look like a college student studying for a final. It took all of my will to say it, but say it I did. "Listen... Baby, if you don't want to, you don't have to... trust me." He looked startled, and he blushed a little. "I... I just wasn't sure how to start." My heart melted. He just looked so cute and unsure. "Just unzip my fly... I'm sure you'll be fantastic." He smiled up at me. I cupped his head in my hands, feeling his silky hair against my fingertips. He unzipped my jeans and pulled them down a little. I lifted my hips to help him. My hard cock was outlined by my red briefs, and Aaron traced the outline with the tip of his finger, circling the patch at the tip that was soaked through with precome. I moaned softly with need and moved my hips slightly. He put his mouth on the tip of my cock through the hot damp fabric. I groaned and bumped my hips when I felt him sucking the damp fabric, tasting my precome. With that, he slid my underwear down, and I was able to watch as he cradled my cock in his hand like it was something precious. I watched him run his tongue from the base to the tip, and realize that I was the first person to feel his tongue there. He was shy, and a little clumsy. He accidentally scraped me once with his teeth, but it didn't matter. He had gotten over his fear of sexual intimacy, at least this much. I cradled his head in my hands, and I enjoyed it. I loved every minute of his shy wet tongue and sexy pink lips and the deep wet warmth of his mouth. --------AARON------- I had never done this. Never. With Bryce, I had never had the courage, and Mr. Rapist hadn't been interested in my mouth. When I was twelve... Well... That didn't count. I refused to let that count. His cock was like a living thing in my hands. So warm, pulsing slightly, so soft. He had shaved all of his wiry black pubic hair away. His groin was so smooth, the skin was almost silky. I stroked the base of his cock and cupped his heavy balls in my hands. They were big and round and sensitive, wrapped in a bag of silky loose skin. I engulfed the head of his cock in my mouth. He groaned, and I did too. He was so hot. I felt like I was burning my lips. I lapped my tongue against the head, tasting musky precome. His hands were on my head, caressing. He whispered my name while I worked on him. He stroked my cheekbones and tucked my hair back. I felt so loved, and I loved being able to make him feel good. To be able to take care of him after he had spent so much time and effort taking care of me. I loved it when he moaned and rested his head on the pillow, thrusting his hips shallowly. I loved the way he touched my hair and face. In short, I loved. I loved him so much, and the sex didn't change anything. If anything, the sex made me love him more. And that's what sex was supposed to be about. When Daniel got close, he warned me. I rested my cheek on his thigh and stroked his thick throbbing cock with my right hand. I wanted to watch him. I wanted to see his face when he came. His cheeks were flushed. I was stroking his slick member and he was moving his hips in a quickening tempo to increase the stroke of my hand. His hand was still tangled in my hair. He looked down, and our eyes were connected. Connected until he threw back his head and let out a long groan of satisfaction. I felt warm hot come slick up my hand and his cock, but I didn't look. I just kept my eyes on his face, his handsome flushed face and gasping mouth and beautiful gold-flecked eyes. --------DANIEL-------- We never changed back into pajamas. Aaron was spooned into my body, his soft taut buttocks against my crotch and his back against my chest and his legs tangled in mine. His head was resting on one of my arms like a pillow, and my other arm was draped over his naked body. I wouldn't have had it any other way. He was lightly running his fingertip over my hand. He was very sleepy, and very quiet. "Hey..." I murmured into his ear. I gave the velvety edge a gentle nip. "Are you feeling okay Aaron?" He wriggled even further into my arms. I loved how close we were. "I'm doing great Daniel." He murmured sleepily. "That was amazing... I'm just a little tired, and I got that interview at noon tomorrow..." The side of his neck was warm and soft. I kissed him there, and he giggled and reached back to cuff me on the cheek. "Shoo, fly." He whispered, his thin torso trembling with laughter. "I gotta get some sleep!" "I just can't help it." I purred. "You are so damn cute. I could stay up and just kiss you all night." He giggled as I started kissing his shoulders and neck. "Wait... 'just' kissing? You're turning into such a tease..." He laughed breathlessly when I tickled his stomach. He turned around and his brown eyes were sparkling in the dim light. He kissed me so hard that our teeth clicked together. I could feel his soft fuzzy pubic hair against my stomach. He sighed and rested his head on my arm. His eyes were nearly shut, his long lashes making dark elegant crescents under his brows. "I... I really love it here." He was so sleepy, he was barely audible, just mumbling softly under his breath. "I love you Daniel..." I kissed him on the forehead. "Glad to know it sweetie-pie." His eyes snapped open and he grinned. "Sweetie-pie? Seriously?" I blushed and gave his lips a quick kiss. "I'm experimenting... What should I call you? Googly-bear? Honey-bunch? Pumpkin-head?" He giggled hard at that last one. He yawned and stretched sinuously, playfully slapping my wrist when I reached to tweak his sweet little nipples. "Seriously though? I really loved tonight. I'm glad that.... I'm glad that I could reciprocate... And it felt really good. I feel a lot more comfortable now, and I just want to thank you." We were solemnly silent for a moment or two. Then in a soft sincere voice, I murmured. "Why, thank you sugar-tits." He nearly fell of the bed laughing and trying to tackle me. We wrestled playfully for a little while until I was pinned under him with my arms behind me, and he was sitting on my lower back. "Uncle!" I gasped. We were just play-wrestling, no way I could ever hurt him for real. "Nah." He said loftily. "I think I'll just sleep here tonight." And with that he pulled the covers over us and lay down on my back. I could feel his soft cock resting between my buttocks and his slim torso resting on my back and his head resting between my shoulder blades. It was surprisingly comfortable. He was like a slightly heavier blanket. I could feel his breath in my ear, hear it getting shallow and slow. He was already asleep. I snorted quietly and closed my eyes, enjoying my sexy little blanket. It had been an excellent day. *Aight, just a quick rundown. The New World is going to take a while to update, I've had to erase a large section of the new chapter to go in a different direction, I'm sorry for the wait. Alone at the End of the World is also going to take a while, but I promise that I've been making progress on it. I would say that I'm a little less then halfway done with the final chapter of the trilogy. It's gonna be heavy! That's all I can say! Also, I'm going to have a single-chapter story coming out pretty soon, It will be the 'spiritual sequel' of my popular nonconsent story, 'The Slave Girl' only it will be in gay male, and the owner of the main character will be Norse. It will be called 'The Slave Boy', and I predict that I'll be able to post it in a week or so. I apologize again for the wait, and for opening several story lines at once. I may be taking on more then I can handle, but I just can't stop! I have so many stories in me!!! I promise that I will NEVER leave a story line hanging. I will always provide and ending, and hopefully one that will satisfy. Kisses and Spanks, --Cruel* Tenderness Ch. 06 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am sorry for the delay. I truly am. I've been studying, I've been procrastinating, I've been dodging taxes and eating babies and putting gum on the seats and doing all of the things that evil people do. I am sorry, but Alone at the End of the World will be finished soon, I'll have a stand-alone viking story soon, and I'll have the last chapter of New World soon. If all goes well. And if it doesn't... I'm sorry. All characters are 18+* --------AARON---------- When I woke up in the morning, he had rolled over and I was comfortably squished under his shoulder and arm. His hair was in a messy halo around his sleeping face, and he was snoring very softly. I never wanted to leave, but unfortunately, my head was aching slightly and my bladder was painfully full. I tried to roll off to the left, squeeze out from under him without waking him up. He grunted and his arm, instead of resting heavily on my bare back, snaked around my waist and pulled me back in. When I was snug to his side, he sighed deeply.... and resumed snoring. I tried to pry his arm off from around my waist, slipping my hand under his and lifting his arm away, but that just made him hug me tighter. "Damn." I whispered. Then it just seemed deliciously funny and I had to put my hand over my mouth tight to stop myself from laughing out loud. I had to pee! Why wouldn't he let me go? My soundless laughter and shaking made him groan and roll onto his back, pulling me with as if I were just a teddy bear instead of a human being. I was sprawled on my back like an upturned turtle, my back against his chest and his arms hugging me tight around the waist. Incredibly... the lunkhead was still asleep. I turned my head to see the alarm clock, and the numbers said that it was seven thirty. I tried futilely to escape without waking him up, and he just shifted slightly, still holding me tight. It was kind of cute, but I really did need to go. I took a deep breath. "Daniel Lewis Arceiro, let me go dammit!" He snorted and jerked awake, and with that I slithered out of his arms and ran to the bathroom, giggling helplessly from the surprised look on his face. It looked like he had been goosed! When I came back... He was asleep. I checked the alarm clock. I had hours. I wanted to snuggle with Daniel. I slipped under the covers again and sidled up to my unconscious boyfriend. When he felt me snuggling up against him, he let out a semi-conscious groan and flopped his arm over my shoulders. I felt like my heart would explode with love. --------DANIEL-------- I dragged a comb through my hair, wincing. I had pulled on some pajama pants and he had pulled on some boxers. His sexy little ass was sashaying around my kitchen, making something that smelled heavenly. "Hey, Aaron? What are you cooking in there? It smells amazing!" "Potato pancakes, my Gran's recipe. I am SO glad that you have enough garlic for it.... Do you have any oregano? Or basil?" I snorted. "My family owns an Italian restaurant, my mom would skin me alive if I didn't keep spices around the house! Check the top cupboard above the sink. What was going on this morning? One minute I'm dreaming, the next minute you were yelling at me!" He laughed out loud at that. I loved the sound of his laughter, he just sounded so open when he laughed. I put my hair into a black binder and started brushing my teeth. "You..." He burst into giggles. "You wouldn't let me go! I had to get up and use the bathroom, and you wouldn't let go of me even when I wiggled." I felt my cheeks flushing. He seemed to think it was funny, and that was a good thing, because my stomach was squirming with embarrassment. "Huh... Guess I am kinda clingy." I spat into the sink and splashed some water around in my mouth, and then some on my face. I walked down the hallway to see him. Piles of grated potato and onions and egg sizzled and spat on my biggest frying pan. He had a bowl filled with more of the mixture. It smelled buttery and garlicky and savory and delicious, but not nearly as delicious as the cook! I trotted up behind him and nuzzled the back of his neck, feeling his new short hair tickle my nose. He giggled. "Cut it out, it'll be ready in a minute! That tickles!" I backed away and set the table. His ass looked absolutely delectable in his soft blue boxers. The hem of the shorts ended barely below his perky buttocks, the only thing keeping them from being briefs was how loose they were. Noel had given up begging and was curled on his doggy bed, looking at us mournfully. I ruffled his ears and I got a quick bark and lick. "Am I forgiven, lumpy?" I cooed, ruffling his fur. He sighed and let his head fall with a soft thump, looking up at me complacently. --- I had eaten ten of the potato pancakes. Part of that was that they were pretty small, but most of it was that they were Goddamn delicious. With ketchup, and (to my bewilderment) applesauce. It was about nine. Aaron was cleaning the dishes, and I stood next to him to dry and put away. "Well, I need a shower, and some mouthwash..." He grimaced, and ended up looking cuter then ever. "But then maybe we can walk Noel, and then I want to go home, get dressed and ready for the interview!" He looked excited and petrified at the same time. I dried our forks and put them in a drawer. "Well..." I mused. "That sounds fine and dandy... but I need a shower too..." I waggled my eyebrows at him suggestively, and he burst out laughing. Though he was laughing, he was still blushing prettily by the time all of the dishes were dried and put away. --------AARON-------- He had a pretty big shower. A shower-head set over a deep bathtub. When I got to the bathroom, he was testing the water with one of his hands. He grinned at me, and his hair fell over his face. He had taken it out of the ponytail. My cheeks felt red-hot, and there just really was no hiding of the erection that had distended my boxers. "After you, Sweetheart." He murmured, pulling back the blue shower curtain. I took a deep breath and hooked my thumbs in the elastic waistband of my underwear, pulling it down in one quick yank, nearly tripping when I pulled my feet out. It was Daniel who caught me. My face and hands were pressed against his naked chest for a sweet moment while I caught my balance. I could feel his heartbeat against my hot blushing cheeks and the palms of my hands. "Woopsie-daisy." He chuckled, cradling my face in his hands to give me a quick kiss. He ruffled my hair, grinning hugely. I took off my glasses and dove into the hot spray of the shower, my skin tingling from arousal and excitement. --------DANIEL-------- Aaron was in my shower. And if that wasn't an arousing thought, then I didn't know what was. He poked his head from behind the translucent curtain. His cheeks were spotted with droplets of water, and he was half-squinting because of his bad eyesight. His cute mussed hair was damped down with the spray. "Coming?" He whispered. I grinned and slid out of my pajama pants. His eyes went wide as he looked me down, and then he squinted comically as he tried to focus on my groin. I leaned forward and kissed his wet lips hard as I moved into the shower. It was dark and slightly crowded in the bathtub. The water pressure was on high, so I was getting sprayed by the water deflecting off of his shoulders. I hugged him close to me as the water slid down our bodies, making streams of water between us. I could feel his cock against my thigh, and my cock was grinding into his soft flat stomach. I could feel him moaning into my mouth, feel his eyelashes fluttering against my nose. I broke the kiss, and he was beautiful. Water hung in crystal droplets from each individual eyelash, and the fine spray from the powerful jets made a halo of water around his shoulders and head. His eyes were wide and half-blind and trusting. He had this shy, lustful look on his face that made my semi-hard cock twitch and flush with blood. I leaned forward and kissed his neck, sucking gently. I didn't want to give him a hickey for his big day... not on his neck at least. He mewed softly. "No... Daniel, no hickeys... please..." His voice was so high and breathless, such a turn-on. I pulled my lips from his skin. He gently ran his hands down my chest, tangling his fingertips in my chest hair, pinching my nipples. He was so focused in his activity, exploring my body. He leaned in so close that his forehead rested on my collarbone. I felt him kiss my chest, and felt his hands wrap around to my lower back to press me closer to him. I groaned softly as my cock rubbed against his soft flat abdomen. I could feel the softness of his pubic hair against my semi-turgid cock. I rubbed my cock against his stomach, feeling myself grow harder and harder against him. He tilted up his head so his chin rested on my shoulder, and then I gasped as he wrapped his lips around the side of my neck and sucked hard. The pressure and his teeth was so erotic that I gasped and humped my hips hard into him. I could feel his perky erection against my hip, and I reached down to fondle it. That made him moan deeply, but then he giggled and pulled away. He was flushed and wet and adorable. His cock stood perfectly strait out and bobbed gently when he moved. He was feeling playful. And that's what it was, we played. We soaped each other up with my body wash and the rough blue loofa. We always stopped a little short of making each other come. Teasing and rubbing and kissing was all we did, and by the time he turned off the water and we were both squeaky-clean, I was nearly stupid with lust. We stumbled to the bedroom. He chased me, brandishing a rolled-up towel and flicking me with it. When we got to the room, I took the towel and dried his hair, covering his head with the towel and vigorously rubbing his head while kissing him so hard our teeth clicked together. He pushed me down onto the bed and crawled on so we were facing each other. The light was better now, and I could see the dim shadows of the bruises that still darkened his face. He had small cuts on his forehead and eyebrow and nose, each one filled with hard dried blood. I could see the rough scratches and old bruises on his soft slender torso. I didn't get less aroused, but suddenly I was so gentle with him. I just wanted to hold him close to me and never let him go. He rubbed his cock against mine, and I reached down. I was able to hold both of us together, and I started to stroke. He mewed and thrust his hips, kissing my chin, and going down the side of my neck to give me a hickey. I couldn't help but smile at that. What a little hypocrite. --- I got the call from Aaron at three in the afternoon. His interview had started at one. He had good news. "I got the job Daniel! The new principal, she's really nice! She says that they desperately need an English teacher, so I'm going to be there tomorrow! I have some quizzes to grade. The old teacher left plenty of notes and planned the rest of the curriculum, so it shouldn't be too hard. Rachel says that if I do a good job, she'll bring me back next year! I'm so excited Daniel!!" I congratulated him on his interview, and I really was happy for him. Aaron had some self-esteem problems, and it hadn't been helped by having to work as a bartender for two years. He had suffered application by rejected application, and even slurs about his orientation during his long job-search, and now he finally had one. "Um... I gotta go... I'm at the clinic, and they called my name. Just... y'know, getting the checkup." His voice was very soft, and a little sad. It bothered me, but he wasn't too bad. He was still excited by the job. "Well, don't worry Baby. I hate going to the doctor as much as the next person. Maybe we can go out for dinner tomorrow, celebrate your first day. Hey, maybe I can even give you a relaxing massage." He giggled at the exaggerated smarminess of my voice. "We'll see, bye Daniel, I love you." "Love you, too." --------AARON-------- This wasn't the cheap Target clinic I normally visited. The hospital had directed me to a clinic that would be able to take care of my 'individual needs' better. I hated that. It was another part of the rape that kept haunting me, all of these little euphemisms. People were afraid to just come out and *say* things around me. They couldn't have just told me that the doctors here had the right equipment, or that they had more experience with rape cases, they had to be suited to my 'individual needs'. The clinic was more expensive, but this would be my last time visiting them, if there were no more complications. I hung up with Daniel and followed a nurse back to a small room. I sat on the crinkly paper on the padded bench and played with my phone, opening it and closing it until the doctor came in. One compensation, my doctor here was very good. Dr. Harvey was an older stout man, but he was able to make me feel more comfortable. He was unafraid to speak to me plainly, and I could tell him about even the most sensitive and embarrassing problems about the rape. He had given me a stool softener after I told him about how I had been defecating blood. He had offered the names of a couple of therapists. I wasn't mortified whenever I broke down around him. He came in, his reading glasses perched precariously in his thick grey hair. He asked me a few questions. "Welcome back, I bet you'll be glad to leave these unpleasant encounters behind, yes?" I chuckled and nodded. "Okay, any change since last time? Undue pain? Tearing? Blood?" "Um... no. Actually I feel a lot better. I think I wont need the pain pills much longer..." "Sounds good! Keep the Percs around just in case, but if the pain is gone, then you should just need to keep the ibuprofen handy. There, I just saved you a prescription for glorified aspirin." I giggled harder at that one. He gently thumbed some of my bruises, and announced that they probably would be invisible in three or four days, but might be painful for a bit longer. He said my nose was doing well. My blood and saliva tests from the last visit came back and I was officially uncontagious for Chlamydia. I felt my eyes stinging, and I bit my lower lip hard to stop myself from sniffling. He smiled gently, and offered me the tissue box. "Careful, son. You're leaking." I let out a soggy hiccup and took a couple of tissues. He called me 'son' a lot. It was nice. I usually hated it when people called me 'son' because it felt patronizing. My dad was going to visit tomorrow, one last visit before he went back home. I wasn't as petrified as I had been for the other visits, but I knew that no matter how well it went, it would be uncomfortable. Dr. Harvey politely turned away to finish writing something on a clipboard. I saw him reach for a box of blue latex gloves and I made a face. "Hmf, I don't like it much either, son, but it has to be done. Last time, I promise." Maybe Dr. Harvey was a very kind and sympathetic doctor, but nothing could make this part of the check-up any less pleasant. I got up and unbuckled my slacks. My good tie, the blue silk one I had gotten for Christmas from my dad, dangled down and folded up on the table as I bent over slightly. I pushed my slacks and underwear to my knees and put my hands on the edge of the table. He was quiet. It was kind of impossible to make small talk for this kind of thing. It was short and unpleasant. His lubed finger poked the sore swollen tissues in and around my sphincter for about ten seconds. He wiped me briefly with a tissue, and then I was pulling my pants up and he was taking off the glove. "I have to tell you young man, you are incredibly lucky. A little rougher, and you would have needed surgery for that nasty tear. You are a quick healer though, swelling is down a lot, and the tear looks closed up. I would be careful and keep taking those softeners for a while. Any pain?" "Not much, a little bit near the tear." I flushed. He smiled. "Good, it looks like you're gonna beat this thing." He washed his hands in the sink, and I gathered up my coat and scarf and gloves. The heat was getting finicky in my shitty little car. "Aaron, wait for a minute." I lingered in the doorway. He dug around in his binder. "Where... Where did I put the damn thing? Ah, here." He handed me a smearily printed flyer. "Listen, I was very serious when I suggested that therapist the last time, but I realize how high those bills can run, especially for a young guy like you, with student loans still hanging over your head. I just heard about this recently, but from what I can find out about it, it's a very good group. I have another patient who attends it. I even called the group leader." The flyer was printed on pale blue paper. It was for a support group that met twice a month at a local church. The group was called 'Survivors'. It was for men who had been survivors of abuse. It had a list of bullet points at the bottom. Physical abuse, spousal abuse, sexual abuse, rape, childhood trauma, neglect. At the bottom, printed in all caps, "WE SURVIVED, BUT NOW WE WANT TO THRIVE. LEARN TO LIVE, LOVE, AND ENJOY LIFE" "Now, I know that the flyer isn't the most informative, but I spoke to the group leader. It's a small group, usually between ten and thirty men at each meeting, and a lot of them come more then once. The leader told me that most of the men there are heterosexual survivors of childhood abuse. It's supposed to be a very open environment, and the leader said that your orientation wouldn't be a problem. I seriously advise you to go to at least one meeting. The next one is this Friday." I read the flyer twice as he spoke. My stomach had shriveled into an uncomfortable ball. "I'm not..." I whispered. I didn't know what I was trying to say, but it was okay, because Dr. Harvey interrupted me. "Aaron. I don't think anyone who hasn't been raped can understand what it's like to go through this. But I see a lot of victims like yourself come through these doors, so I can say that I have a rough idea. I have two kinds of patients. Those who seek help, and those who don't. There are exceptions, of course. But I can tell you that those in the first group usually do better. You need someone to help you get through this. I understand that your partner is helping you as much as he can, but please, go to at least one of the meetings. For my sake." I hesitated for another second, but then I nodded. "Okay Dr. Harvey." He smiled back and snatched the flyer from my hands. He scrawled the address and the time of the next meeting. He also scribbled down a number. He had atrocious handwriting. "That's the number of George Heinlein. He's the leader of the group, and you can call him if you have any more questions." "Thank you for everything Dr. Harvey." I whispered, blushing slightly. "No problem, son." --- The classroom smelled like whiteboard cleaner and books and wood from the desks and the faint, but unmistakeable scent of teenagers. That polecat musk of body odor and perfume and shampoo and hormones. Speaking of body odor... I quickly reached into my shirt with a few tissues to dab away the nervous sweat in my armpits. I threw the crumpled tissues in the little dustbin as soon as the first student walked in. A junior girl with dark skin, jeans, a sweater and a hijab scarf carefully covering her hair. She looked down at the desks in confusion as she sat, because I had placed a single strip of spearmint gum on every desk. Tenderness Ch. 06 I smiled nervously at her and sorted through my notes again. I had to take care of four class periods. Two periods of American literature. Honors English for freshman, and one senior class of World Literature. The students of my first American literature class trickled in. Bobbing their heads to music coming in from their headphones. Texting, talking giggling. Each of them were confused by the strip of gum, and most of them didn't take it. As if afraid it were some elaborate trick. I had noticed the NO GUM ALLOWED signs all over the hallways as I walked in. The final bell rang and I stood in front of my class, feeling sweaty and weak. They were all very quiet, very bored. I had the class textbook in my hand, and I lifted my arms in front of me and theatrically dropped it. The loud CLAP it made on the dull off-white tiles made every student jump. Uneasy giggles spread throughout the room. "Good morning." I said cheerfully. "Happy to see so many awake faces. If you don't like spearmint, I also have 'Juicy Fruit' up at my desk. My name is Mr. Beck, and I'm going to be your American Literature teacher for the rest of the year. They murmured softly. They seemed to collectively decide that the gum wasn't a prank, so the soft static of unwrapping became a dull roar, along with the sticky sounds of chewing. "Countless tests have proved that chewing gum actually makes you more focused. So much so, that the military have their troops chew it during combat and training. So, as long as you keep it in your mouth and not under the desk, I don't see why I should deny you the privilege." I saw a couple of grins and laughs. I saw two girls lean close, and I could hear one whisper. "--more fun then bitchzilla--" It gave me a small boost of confidence. I took another deep breath. "I know it must have been pretty easy-going these last few days, with several subs who didn't know the material. Fortunately, I'm getting here just as we start the last book of the semester, so your principal was kind enough to let me choose the final book, as I don't know a whole lot about 'The Great Gatsby'. I opened up the cardboard box of books on my desk. "Instead, I was happy to realize that Albany high school has one of my favorite high school reads by Robert Cormier." I passed out copies of 'I am the Cheese'. "Alright, attendance." --- I got through the day in this manner. I went through twelve packs of gum, and there was a wad roughly the size of a soccer ball in the waste bin when I left the room for my lunch break. I felt exhausted, three of the classes were right in a row, and now I had half an hour to eat lunch, and two free periods to read up more on the class material and plan my 'I am the Cheese' curriculum. Rachel, the school principal had told me that the best thing to do would be to stick with the written curriculum, but I hadn't read 'The Great Gatsby' since I was a sophomore in high school, and 'I am the Cheese' was one of my favorite books. If I could pull this off, it would look really good. The teachers lounge was small, right off of the cafeteria with a wall of glass windows so we could look in. I bought a lunch from the cafeteria, mildly astonished by how good the food looked. In my high school, it had been a rotating wheel of about five or six reconstituted foods, supplemented by some form of potatoes, and maybe some pudding. Today, they had chicken patties, with actual steamed broccoli and a salad bar. I loaded up my partitioned tray, feeling absurdly like I was in prison. It was almost like an out-of-body experience, because I was in line with a bunch of high-schoolers, and they looked so young! And yet I was the youngest teacher here by ten years. I sat in the teachers lounge, and it just became more pronounced. I was a little hard to accept that these men and women were my colleagues now. I was so used to being the student, and not the teacher. My time as a TA at the university seemed distant, and different. I felt a little better when I was back in my room, writing quizzes and rereading 'I am the Cheese'. --- Here were my seniors. It was easy to tell that they were seniors. They all took themselves so seriously, it was almost cute. All of them had this body language that screamed confidence and easiness. Most of their grades were slipping. They had already applied to their colleges, most had already gotten accepted. To them, this was just an exercise. I made my same little speech with the gum. They all seemed to think it was pretty funny. "Shakespeare!" I cried, getting their attention. "Obnoxious bastard, wasn't he? Seems like you can't get through a year of schooling without reading something by this pretentious old fart, can you?" I had their attention in milliseconds. I nearly cracked up, one girl had a look of shocked properness on her face. She could have been in her sixties. "The way I see it, you are all nearly adults. I say 'nearly' because you haven't quite gotten into that pattern of thinking yet, but you are. Next year, when you go to your schools, or bum out and take a year off to get 'perspective'--" I made a smoking gesture, drawing a few shocked and delighted giggles. "Whatever you do, they are going to treat you like adults then. So during my four weeks here, I'm not going to treat you like children. You've had eighteen years of that." "So, you might hear me swear, here and there. You might even catch me talking about sex or drugs. Crazy, right? I learned the most about literature from my Lit professor in College, and he was batshit insane. He swore like a teenage boy, and got us involved in discussions that started with Oscar Wilde, and ended with us talking about how legalizing marijuana would end the current economy crisis. I want this class to be discussion-based, and I want people to be unafraid to speak their opinions. Any questions?" A girl in the back row with unfortunate skin but a body like a model raised her hand. "Um, can't you get in trouble for this kind of thing?" "Almost definitely." I said calmly. "But, if any of you tattle on me, not only would that be childish, but you would no longer be able to chew gum, so I trust you." For the first time, the class broke into howls of laughter. I felt moderately proud of myself. --------DANIEL-------- The final crusts of ice on the lakes and the final piles of slush in the supermarket parking lots had finally bid us adieu. Just in time for mid-May, too. It was an amazing warm night, and I was treating my adorable boyfriend to a high-end dinner in downtown Minneapolis. We ate outside, at a table for two. The restaurant was smack in the middle of the theater district, and there were four other gay couples. Aaron was still a little nervous, but he was so excited about his first day as a teacher, that he didn't care. Ice clicked at the bottom of his glass. I had offered to buy him a drink with dinner, and he had chosen a strawberry mojito, of all things. It was silly, it was cute. It tasted sweet when I kissed his lips across the table. His cheeks blushed to roughly the same color. Maybe this was a silly thing to notice, but I loved how, official, our relationship was. We went out on dates, we had normal conversations, we held hands. Neither of my former boyfriends had been like this. It had only been a few weeks, but I felt like I had been with Aaron for longer, in a good way. In an amazing way. --- I drove him to his apartment. When I stopped at the side of the street, he told me to go to the underground parking lot. "I... I wanna talk to you about something." He said quietly. He was so serious, but he smiled a little bit near the end. "I have an ulterior motive, is that okay?" I kissed him on the cheek. "Always baby." --- His apartment was so small. He kept it very neat, but he was still pretty self-conscious about it compared to my apartment. I watched him change into his pajamas, baggy plaid pants and a loose t-shirt. He showed me a flyer for a victim's support group. I read it while he leaned on my shoulder, wiping off makeup with a sponge. "I... I was wondering if you could come with me. I'm kinda scared." I kissed him on the cheek. "Of course I'm coming with. Someone needs to bring the tissues." He groaned and hit me with one of his pillows. I wrestled playfully. When he had me pinned on my back with my arms above my head, I leaned forward to peck him on the mouth. "I love you Aaron. I'll come to this thing with you, maybe it will really help." He grinned, and lowered his body so he was lying on top of me. He rubbed his cheek against the silky material of my nice red shirt. "I said I had an ulterior motive." He purred, lowering himself more. I groaned softly as I helped him unbutton my shirt. His soft short hair was tickling me. He licked little circles around my nipples. His hot little tongue was everywhere, driving me legitimately crazy. "Guess what?" He whispered. His fingers were carefully working under my waistband. I kissed the top of his head, breathing heavily as his fingertips brushed against the swollen tip of my cock. "What?" He unbuttoned my slacks, and suddenly his hand could fit in there, and his fingers curled around my shaft. I hissed softly with pleasure as he squeezed. "I'm not contagious." He said it in a hopeful shy voice. The next thing he knew, I was kissing him hard. "What a thing to hide!" I whispered. "You cheeky little monkey!" "Love you!" He giggled, kissing me back, slipping his tongue into my mouth. --- His mouth was so hot, so wet. I could feel him moaning softly, needfully, mewling around the head. I could feel his fingertips caressing my inner thighs, my testes. I was slurping on his cock. Propped up on one elbow, and watching him suck my cock. We were in the 69 position on our sides. I didn't want to squish him, and he was too shy to kneel over me. So we were on our sides, and I was reeling with the fantastic sensation of his rough hot little tongue lapping precome from my cock, while tasting his precome on mine. The condom-blowjob I had given him the night before just couldn't compare. He tasted sweet. --- I couldn't stay, he had to get up early, but I got to tuck him into his tiny cramped bed. He was so sleepy, so gorgeous. He clung to my neck like a monkey, his head tucked into my chest. "Love you." He murmured sleepily as I detached him. He was asleep before I could turn off the light. --------AARON-------- I had no idea what this Survivors thing would be like. If Daniel hadn't been in the car with me, I would have turned around when I reached the address. It was a huge Baptist church that looked like a giant. It was set into one of the local suburbs, three stories high, with a massive and aggressively Caucasian Jesus in all of the stained-glass windows. "Listen, if it turns out that this is some exercise in bible-thumping, we'll be out in a minute, okay Baby? It didn't say anything about religion in the flyer. Normally if a support group is religious, you can tell right away. They probably just meet here." He was making sense, but I still hesitated outside of the tall glass doors. I had never seen a church this big. When I was still living with my dad, we had gone to a little brick building with about a hundred in the congregation. This monstrosity looked like it could hold the population of this suburb. I nearly expected to burst into flames when I stepped inside. My relationship with religion was long, but strained. I hadn't gone to church once since my grandmother died. The place was deserted. We followed paper signs with arrows on them. We passed a fellowship hall, several offices, and (I swear this is the truth) a small gymnasium. Eventually we got to a room with the SURVIVORS flyer on the door, and a smaller paper sign underneath that said. WALK-INS WELCOME. "You okay honey?" Daniel put his hand on my shoulder. He was wearing his creased leather jacket, and a black shirt. I could smell his body wash. I had been reluctant to take a shower this morning. I liked smelling like him. "Yeah, lets just do this." I whispered. He hugged me briefly in the emptiness of the hall. I buried my face in the warmth of his chest, wishing I never had to let go. --- It was an empty all-purpose sort of room. White walls and dull nondescript grey carpet. Several chairs had been pulled into a circle, and about fifteen men were milling around the room, drinking coffee and making small talk. Most of them were congregating around a small folding table with a huge thermos of coffee and a tray of home-made cookies. They saw us come in, but no one seemed particularly interested in making eye contact. A lot of the people here looked exactly how I felt, nervous and wishing they were somewhere else. A stout man with a round smile-creased face and a full salt-and-pepper beard covering his cheeks and chin and upper lip sat down on one of the chairs and called. "It's five o' clock." That was it, and everyone flocked to the chairs, maybe stopping to snag an extra cookie on a napkin. Me and Daniel each grabbed a chair and joined the circle. Everyone was looking around the circle. Evaluating the others. Everyone looked frightened. Maybe some more then others, but everyone looked apprehensive. Everyone knew that they had to share something. I found myself relaxing slightly. Only slightly. The round-faced man leaned forward and spoke. "My name is George. I started this group in 2005, and I see some new faces, there usually are, so I'm going to say a little bit about us." "In Survivors, it's a very simple message. 'You are not alone.' It is so easy to feel alone. So easy to think that you somehow aren't a man. So easy to think that you have to suffer in silence. If you're new, maybe this will open your eyes, maybe you'll feel better, or maybe you'll think I'm full of bullshit, but either way, I want everyone to feel comfortable here." "I'll go first." He told us his story. Unashamed, he told a group of seventeen men about how his father had sodomized and beaten him repeatedly as a child. He told us about how he was so ashamed when he grew up. About how he was afraid to open up to women, how to be intimate. During his story, I held Daniel's hand. Somehow, I had forgotten that we were in a group of straight men. Somehow it didn't seem to matter. --------DANIEL-------- This group, this cheesy AA clone of a group... It was eye-opening. It was fascinating, it was frightening, and eye opening. I heard some truly horrible stories. The group started at five, and went on till seven. Each man took six or seven minutes to talk. A few skipped, but everyone sympathized. After each story, we talked, discussed. They were so open. They were so kind. A lot of them were crying. It was as if every one of them had left society at the door, taken off the tough-guy persona that they had to wear in public. Some of the stories were horrifying. One older timid man talked about how his ex-wife had burned him with cigarettes. He cried, and said that no one took him seriously, because he outweighed her, and because she was a woman. He said that she had broken his arm. And as a group, we supported him. We sympathized, and told him that he was still a man. Aaron was on the verge of tears for the whole meeting. His eyes were huge and glassy. One of the men told about when he had run away from his abusive father when he was fourteen. He had been tired of his father beating on him, but when he stayed at a shelter, he had been raped by a wino with foul breath and an ulcer on his cheek. "He was so small... I probably weighed more then him, but I was so scared." He had AIDs. When it got to me, I shook my head. I felt like an impostor. All of these men had been hurt in some way. I was here in their midst, unscarred, unharmed. Aaron lifted his head and clenched my hand tight in his fist. "Um. My name is Aaron, and I'm a high school teacher, I'm twenty four." "Hello Aaron." Everyone parroted dutifully. Even I mouthed the words. "Um. My mom died when I was ten, heart failure. My dad kicked me out when I was sixteen. He loved me, but when I was sixteen, I... I came out." I looked around, somewhat defensively, holding tight onto Aaron's hand. I felt like a mouse in a viper pit, but their faces hadn't changed. Maybe it was some kind of rare group-therapy voodoo, but no one was judging him. No one was mad. Maybe if we had met on the street, some of these men would be bigoted and opinionated, but not here. "My dad... He was pretty religious, but he also hated... He hated what I am for a different reason." My ears pricked up. This was new. "He hated all of homosexuality because of something that happened when I was twelve years old." My breath halted in my throat. Maybe it was the hypnotic quality of this room, or maybe he was just finally ready, but my Aaron, my poor bruised Aaron. He going to spill his secrets. "I had to stay after school for some test or something. I had to make it up. I always walked home because I only lived a block or so away, and to get there I always cut through the playground at this nearby elementary school." He paused briefly to wipe his eyes. His voice wasn't shaking yet, but it would be soon. I whispered into his ear. "Are you okay with this, Baby?" He nodded, and held my hand even tighter. "One day, when I was walking home I saw this man at the playground. He was running around with a dog leash in his hand and calling out his dogs name. I can't remember what it was, I think it started with a T." "He looked really upset. He seemed really old to me at the time, but he was probably just in his thirties. He asked me if I could help him look for his dog, and I said I would." Aaron wiped his eyes again, and sniffled under his breath. "Trevor. The dog's name was Trevor. He went to this little road near the playground, I think it was someones driveway actually. Like one of those really long ones. And he looked under this car and told me that Trevor was stuck under there. He asked me if I could crawl under and help his dog, because he was too big." Aaron's voice was shaking. "When I... um. When I got on my hands and knees to look under the car, he opened the door. It was a big red van. He pushed me inside. He was... Um... really strong." Aaron was crying full out now. I put an arm around his shoulders. "Baby..." "He k-kept me in the van for a cou-couple of hours." George Heinlein had a box of tissues, and he was passing them around the circle. A couple of the men snatched a sheet from the box as they passed it over to us. I couldn't see any hate or disgust in their eyes. Only compassion. Only sympathy. Aaron took two tissues from the box and blew his nose with a honk. For a second it was quiet, and then he let out a watery giggle. A couple of others joined in. "When I got home my dad was... He was furious. Not at me, he loved me. But from that day on, he hated homosexuality even more. He thought that gay men were just indiscriminate, that we'd fuck anything that moves. Even if it was a child or an animal. When I came out at sixteen, he thought I was sick. He thought that... that gay was something that got spread, like a disease, or like vampirism, or something. When I got angry at him and told him that I wasn't sick, he kicked me out of the house, and I lived with my grandma." He was calming down. The tears still flowed, but his voice was steadying. "I went to college, Gran helped me pay for it. Still got some loans, but not as bad as I thought they'd be. It was pretty hard to get a job, especially because early on during an interview, a principal found out that I was gay, and he told a lot of nearby schools about me" "A couple of weeks ago, I was working as a bartender at the Purple Rain. There was a man there who came up to the bar and flirted with me. He got me to go out back with him, and he knocked me unconscious and raped me." Tenderness Ch. 06 He was done. That was the end of his story. He just shut up and leaned against my shoulder, shaking with suppressed sobs. I tried to comfort him. I felt so exposed, so afraid for him. He had just bared his soul to a roomful of straight men. I cupped the side of his head in my hand. "Shh... Baby, do you want to leave?" George leaned forward. "Please don't go. I know that this can be painful, and a lot of you might be afraid of judgement, but that isn't what we do here. Let's talk." Aaron took another handful of tissues and nodded, unable to speak. A man across from us, he had been molested by his uncle. He spoke first. "I know that this is hard, and um... this might be an insensitive question." George interjected. "Then he doesn't have to answer it if he doesn't want to." "Well, for a long time after what my uncle did to me, I thought that I must be gay. Because I, y'know... I got... aroused... by what he did to me." He was a younger guy. Only a little older then Aaron by the look of him. "I figured that since I got aroused, I had to be gay, so I tried to be gay. I didn't think... I didn't feel like I 'deserved' to have a girlfriend, or to be happy. Is that what happened to you?" I felt Aaron stiffen under my arm. "I love Daniel. I am gay. I've never liked girls." I felt a little thrill at the first three words. --- The meeting went on longer then we thought, until about seven thirty. But I never felt like I wanted to leave. It was stressful sometimes, but it was so intense. So interesting, for lack of a better word. Finally though, George got up and stretched. With that the spell was broken, everyone was quiet and uncommunicative again. Everyone got up, and a few went to scavenge the remnants of the cookies and coffee. Aaron went up to talk to George, looking shy. When he came back, he was smiling. I asked him what they talked about on the way back to the car. He smiled up at me. "I want to go next time, and I offered to make the refreshments." I couldn't help it, I scooped him up in my arms and swung in a circle. "You are so cute!" I growled. --- I went into his apartment with him. I wanted to talk. He had been pretty cheerful, but I could just sense how fragile he was feeling. I sat in his room with him, and he sat down next to me on his little bed. "How are you, Punkin?" He smiled half-heartedly at the awful nickname, but the smile didn't have it's usual charm behind it. "I've never told anyone that before." He whispered, leaning against me. I combed my fingers through his short soft hair, mussing it. "Not even you... I feel like I should have told you first." "Hey... It's a pretty intense thing to share. I'm surprised that they managed to pry it out of you. They have weird voodoo there." He giggled. "You noticed that? It was like they were all brainwashed! And they did it to me too!" I kissed his ear, and then slid to right under his ear, that tender little spot that drove him purely crazy. I ran my tongue in little circles around that erogenous zone. He melted in my arms, letting out a little moan of excitement. We both jumped when someone knocked on the door. Aaron froze in my arms. "Oh shit." He whispered. His eyes were getting wider and wider, shining with panic. "It's my dad." He whispered. His voice was timid, and hollow. "I forgot." I got up, feeling my erection shrivel as I did. His dad... I remembered how he had broken down on our first date. He loved his father, but his father had so much control over him. "He doesn't know about you." Aaron whispered. His eyes were getting wet. He was so stressed out. The pounding came again. "He's gonna kill me Daniel." I heaved Aaron to his feet. "I wont let him, I promise. We just have to go and meet him, okay? Why is he here anyway? Are you sure it's him?" Aaron walked numbly with me. "He wanted to congratulate me on the job, and visit me before he went back home." I sat on the couch just as the door thudded again. Aaron stood in front of the door, looking so unsure. --------AARON-------- When I opened the door, Daniel looked nearly as tense as I felt. Dad was standing in the doorway, holding a bottle of red wine and a red envelope. He was smiling, he looked so happy. "Hey Aaron, what's wro--" Then he saw Daniel sitting on the couch. Daniel was wearing his work clothes, slacks and a blue shirt and a red striped tie. His hair was pulled back in a businesslike ponytail. He was wearing his gold-colored watch, and his big dark hands were folded. How could I have forgotten my dad was coming? How could I subject Daniel to this? "Um... Dad... This is Daniel." Dad was standing in the doorway still, his face frozen. His hand clenched so tight on the neck of the bottle that I thought it would break. I saw his adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "Hello." He said stiffly. I could see all of the cords in his neck sticking out. "Nice to meet you Daniel." He walked in and put the wine and the envelope down on the table. "I can't do this right now Aaron. I'll come back later. I don't want to do something that I'll regret." He was gone. The door was closing slowly behind him. He had set the bottle of wine down on it's side, and it rolled off the table, shattering on the linoleum floor. Wine washed all over the floor and soaked into the rug I kept in front of the fridge. The door clicked shut. Daniel was there in a second, picking up the glass, throwing it in my little white bin, looking up at me. I still hadn't moved. I couldn't move. He stopped picking up glass and came up behind me to hug me tight. I let him hold me and let my head fall back onto his chest. I could feel tears streaming from my eyes. "Hey, Aaron. I love you. And he loves you too." I turned around. I didn't sob aloud. I just buried my face in his chest and let him hold me. --- Daniel promised to stay the night. He just had to go back to walk Noel and feed all of the animals. I called Dad. He answered on the first ring. "Dad, I wanted to tell you about him." I blurted into the phone. "But... But I was scared." I couldn't hear anything. The silence on the phone was more then I could bear. "Dad?" I whispered. "Please, say something." "I'm trying Aaron. I just don't know what to say." I sniffled. "Say, 'I love you'. Is that really so h-hard? I love you. After all of this, I still love you. Sometimes I wish I didn't, it would be easier." "I don't know what to say because you lied to me, Aaron. Here I was, thinking that maybe after what happened that you would--" "That I would, what? Come to my senses? Wake up? Realize that I have been living a life of sin? It doesn't work that way d-dad." I was trying so hard to keep my voice level, but it was starting to slip. "Do you want to know why I didn't tell y-you about Daniel? Do you?" "Aaron..." I could hear him begging. I felt sick, but I also felt a vengeful sort of pleasure. The pleasure of being the one twisting the knife. It was undeniable. "Because of my wall, that's why. I still have cracks on the w-wall from when I told you about Bryce. I don't trust you. I don't feel safe around you. I'm not safe around you." "Aaron, I would never hurt you." He was miserable, but I didn't let up. "D-Dad? Daniel made me better. He helped fix me up when I was broken. All you've done is break me more. Either learn to accept what I am, or don't come back." I let out a soft sob. "Because wh-what you're doing now? I just can't fucking handle it." I shut my phone. I heard it ringing, but I didn't answer it. I was too busy muffling my screams inside a pillow. --------DANIEL-------- Maybe it was some sort of karmic balancing. We had gone to a meeting where I had spoken to some of the least judging men I had ever seen. So then I had to see Aaron's father. He was a younger man then I had expected, almost handsome. The single look he gave me, it was full of hatred, but I was used to that. I had seen and dealt with homophobic people before. I had been afraid for my safety before, but this... it was personal. Aaron's father looked at me like he blamed me for everything that happened to his son. When I got back after feeding the crowd at my apartment, Aaron was sitting in the dark, hugging his knees. I had a bottle of wine to replace the broken one. I had changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt. Later, I reflected that that was just another thing I liked about Aaron. I could dress down. I hadn't been able to do that with Isaac or Nick. I stepped up and nudged his shoulder with the bottle. "Wanna get drunk? Drown your troubles at the bottom of a coffee mug?" "Yes please." He whispered. --- I turned on the lights, and we sat on his bed, drinking wine from coffee mugs. I had flipped on the TV, but wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention. All of my attention was focused on Aaron. The bottle of wine was gone, and Aaron was lying back, staring at the ceiling, silent. I turned off the TV, and methodically stripped his clothes. I pulled up his pajama pants, digging for them in the bottom drawer. He called it the 'scrub drawer' it had all of his baggy holy shirts and slippers and sweat pants. I stripped down to my boxers and slid in next to him on his tiny twin bed. He kissed me, slipping his tongue in my mouth, but I could tell he wasn't into it. I ended the kiss and pecked him on the nose, both eyelids, and the forehead. "You don't have to just for me, trust me." He kissed me again, this time just with the lips. "Thank you Daniel. I... I don't know what I would do without you." We shifted until we were spooning. I rested my hand on his hip, and kissed the back of his neck. "Tomorrow? You're coming to my apartment, and we'll have a spa day." He giggled, and I couldn't help smiling. It was good to hear him laugh. "Yup, a nice deep bath instead of your cruddy little shower... might even play geisha, give you a little rubdown..." He laughed harder, curling up. I curled mercilessly with him, I was going to snuggle him to death. "We'll do facials, drink margaritas, bitch about menopause, all of that good stuff." He howled with laughter. I held him tight, keeping him together until he fell asleep. --- I was startled awake by a hot wet mouth on a rather vulnerable part of my anatomy. I looked around, startled and blinking in the bright soft light that leaked through his window through the metal blinds. I looked down at the hump in the blankets, a hump that was tiger-striped by the shadows of the blinds. I lifted up the hem of the blanket and looked at the gently bobbing head of my boyfriend. My semi-hard cock was sliding in and out of his soft red lips. He looked up at me with his pale brown eyes, smiling around my cock. "Someone's frisky." I gasped. I groaned and let my head fall back. Blood was rushing to my groin. My mouth tasted foul, my head was creaking, but by all accounts, it was still a pretty fantastic morning. I made a sound halfway between a yelp and a moan. He was getting good. He flattened my cock so it lay against my stomach, and he ran his tongue down the length in slow flat licks. I moaned and shivered at the waves of sensation. I groaned as Aaron lowered his head on my cock, enveloping it in his sexy mouth. I reached down and rubbed his shoulders as he sucked, I curled my fingers to caress the back of his neck. I could feel the sweat beading on my forehead, on the back of my neck. Aaron's skin was damp and soft. His mouth was slick and soft. I relaxed every muscle in my body to prolong the inevitable, to enjoy this sensation for as long as I could. "Aaron..." I whispered, my eyes falling closed, my body tensing. "Aaron... I'm going to... I'm going to come Aaron!" Aaron whimpered softly, his sexy body flexing and writhing under the sheet as he threw himself into the blowjob, his cheeks hollowing around my cock. The sight of the hollows in his soft cheeks, and my thick cock disappearing between his soft pink lips drove me crazy. He rested his cheek on my hip, his lips still touching the base of my cock. He laid my cock on his cheek and stroked me, drawing his hand over my saliva-slick cock. I groaned and every muscle in my body flexed. I was able to open my eyes in time to see come spurt from the tip of my cock and pool on his cheek. He smiled shyly up at me, resting on my thigh. I flushed and reached at the side of the bed for the box of tissues, giving him one to clean his face with. He wiped his cheek and I sat up, drawing him into my lap and kissing him. I loved holding him in my lap, his shoulder under my chin, his soft neck against my cheek. I reached around his waist and stroked his throbbing member. "You are so sexy." I purred into his ear. He just moaned, tilting his head back onto my shoulder in a way that was frankly erotic. His beautiful swan-neck was exposed, I couldn't help it. I sucked gently on the skin, nibbling and biting. He moaned and his hips twitched, thrusting his cock further into my hand. He liked it, so I bit harder. "Dan... Daniel!" He cried. I withdrew from his neck to watch his face as he came, the look that was almost like pain, but was all pleasure. The way his features relaxed after he was done. I felt his cock soften in my slick hand. --- "Dammit Daniel!" I jumped from where I was sitting on his bed, tying my shoes. I felt a jolt of panic, I didn't know what was wrong, but I was petrified anyway. "What?" He came out of the bathroom in his jeans and sock-feet, rubbing the side of his neck and scowling. "You gave me a hickey, it's HUGE." I started laughing, I couldn't help it. I laughed until tears streamed down from my eyes. His stern face broke into a reluctant grin and he cuddled up on my lap. I tweaked his soft little nipples in my fingers. "Shoo, fly! I gotta brush my teeth. You too... you reek." I put a wounded hangdog expression on my face, and tickled his soft flat stomach. He giggled and pulled away, strutting to the bathroom, sticking his tongue out at me. I did the same, only I waggled mine. He rolled his eyes and disappeared into his bathroom. --------AARON-------- I was pleased to say that Daniel wasn't entirely joking. We had a quick shower that made us both crazy-horny, and after the shower he gave me a VERY thorough massage that ended with me squirming and coming into his mouth. When I turned to reciprocate, he grinned guiltily, and showed me his come-smeared hand. He had been so excited just from sucking my cock. "I've never done that before." He murmured. He was snuggled behind me, we weren't exactly asleep, but resting. Completely naked and clean and warm. His skin felt so good. "Lucky me." I murmured, kissing his hand. "That felt amazing." He kissed the back of my neck. "I mean... I've never had the courage to do this sort of thing. I just feel so comfortable around you, y'know? I love you Aaron... You make me feel sexy." I wiggled further into him, my heart imploding with love. "I love you Daniel." There was really nothing else that needed to be said. -- *One chapter left to go! Almost done with the last chapter of Alone at the End of the World... The third chapter is out, but one more is coming. I'd say I have five pages left to write (word, not literotica) Tenderness Ch. 07 *I said I would post this before April was over, and I was right! I posted this on the 30th, so it counts! ^_^ This is the end of Tenderness, my last dangling plot, and I have new ones up my sleeve, but I want to finish them or at least get further along before I start to submit. It might be a little while until you hear from me again, but no worries! I will keep writing! Also, the song mentioned in the end of this submission, I advise you to pull up a youtube video and take a listen as you read. It really helps to convey the mood. I hope you enjoy, and thank you for following!* --------AARON-------- Daniel was sleeping on top of me again. I sighed. It happened every time. The big lump would always be sleeping on top of me if (and only if) I had to pee like a racehorse. The trick was to get out quick, squirm away before he subconsciously hugged me or got woken up unceremoniously. I took a deep breath, puffing out my torso as much as I could. I breathed out as fast as I could and squirmed out. I skidded on some jeans that tangled my feet and nearly crushed a sleepy surprised Zoe. She hissed at me. "Sorry! Sorry!" I yawned, pulling up my boxers. It was five thirty, and I had to be at the building for the last day of school at six thirty. I stumbled to the bathroom and picked up the red toothbrush from the cup he kept by the sink. Despite my sleep-clouded mind, I grinned with delight. I had a toothbrush over here. I slept over here two or three times a week now, sometimes more. I also had pajamas (though I rarely wore them) a robe, slippers, and a couple of sets of clothing. I finished brushing and ran the shower on the cold side of lukewarm so it would wake me up. --------DANIEL-------- Damn, but he was turning me into something of an early riser. I could hear the shower sputtering against the tiles. I got an idea, and I grinned to myself, rolling out of the bed and wincing as I accidentally stepped on a shirt full of sharp little buttons. The clothes strewn around my once-neat floor made me grin. He had been a wild little man last night. I pulled on boxers and jeans, stumbling down the hallway to the kitchen, moving fast. I managed to get the bread into the toaster and the eggs cracked in the pan before he padded down to the kitchen, wrapped in his soft blue robe with one of my towels draped over his head as he rubbed his hair dry. He squinted. "Do my blind eyes deceive me?" He ran back to the bedroom and came back, giggling and unfolding his glasses. He put them on. I loved how cute he looked with wet hair. "They don't! Daniel is in the kitchen!" I snorted. "Watch your tongue there, mister... I've been cooking my own meals for eight years now..." He laughed. "Yup, and the last time you tried to make me breakfast you burned the hell out of it. Thanks Daniel." He came up behind me and hugged me around the waist, rubbing his cheek against my back. "No problem Sugar..." "Hmm... that one wasn't very silly." He was walking down the hall, nudging Noel out of the way with one foot. Noel loved Aaron. Following him everywhere. We had to close the door when we messed around in the bedroom, because the old codger would try to come in. I flipped the eggs, cussed when I broke one of the yolks, and buttered the toast. Sure it wasn't the omelet that Aaron had given me on monday, or the home-made donuts the week before... but hell, I didn't have his magic hands in the kitchen. He came back looking so professional. He was wearing his red shirt and the black tie. His black jacket was slung over his forearm and his hair was combed in a slightly layered look. Not like that little squeaky rat Bieber... but more like Jason Behr, in Dragon Wars. I chuckled, I was watching more bad scifi movies then ever before. He ate hungrily, smiling at me from across the table. He was so confident. He had gone to another of those meetings, this time without me. His dad had been leaving him alone, and the bruises were all but gone. He sopped up the last of the egg yolk with his bread crust and snatched his laptop case and jacket. "Bye! Love ya!" He closed the door behind him and Noel whined softly before padding over to his doggy bed and collapsing with a sigh. Zoe was curled up on top of the TV. The reptiles were all in the living room, arranged from the biggest cage (Malcolm) to the smallest cage (Geoffrey). I liked reptiles, and they had all been rescues. I had gotten Zoe and Noel in pet stores, but the rest I had gotten from a reptile rescue. Too many people bought them, thinking they'd be cool and then getting rid of them when they bit someone, or when they got bored of them. Reptiles are too big of a responsibility for most, they live for a long time. I started to feed them. Pellets and zucchini for Malcolm, lettuce and pellets for Geoffrey. Kit and Kat hadn't eaten in a week, so it was time for their meal. I dropped two pinkies in the cage and watched them. It was almost a zen thing, watching them slowly ingest the little frozen mice. Noel whined, looking at me miserably. "Don't worry, you fuzzy lump." I snorted. "I'll get to you in a minute." I jumped when the key scraped in the door and Aaron came in, panting and flustered. "Dammit, I'm sorry Daniel, but I need a ride! Shit, I'm gonna be late!" I got over my pounding heart and put the top back on the aquariums. "Kay Babe, can you feed Zoe and Noel while I grab my shoes?" He gave me a harried but radiant smile and dashed for the closet, Noel lumbering at his heels. "Did you flood it again?" I heard the can-opener racheting. I had brushed Noel's teeth regularly since he was a puppy, but they were still getting worn enough so I had made the switch to wet food a few months ago. "Nah, I think it finally bit the dust this time. It's completely dead and it wont make a sound. It's sixteen years old. I'll just have to take the bus until I can afford a new car. DAMMIT!" I chuckled a little, but not loud enough for him to hear, he was upset. I walked to the door with my keys in my hand and my shoes on my feet just as I heard the cat food tinkling into Zoe's dish. Aaron put the bowl on top of the TV and hurried out of the door with me. --- I had never actually seen where he worked. It was a big building made of grey bricks with a football field in the back. I drove him up to the front. "Thanks a million Daniel... I owe you one." He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. I was surprised, he was pretty tentative to show affection in public. It was really sweet. Then he was scurrying towards the doors, his tie flapping over his shoulders in the wind. I chuckled and started up the car, driving to work. --------AARON-------- I was still an hour early for class, but I had plenty things to wrap up. I was in my classroom, drinking coffee, updating grades and clearing out my desk when Rachel, the Principal came in. "Hey Rachel." I murmured. "What's up?" She had a bundle of papers in her hands. "It's time for your student evaluation. All of the students get to fill out a half sheet of these for every teacher. It doesn't have a huge bearing, but it helps teachers to improve their technique. But this is a unique case. Normally you would be here for a semester and then all of your students would turn in an evaluation of you as a teacher that has slightly more bearing. You only had a month or so, so all of your students including the seniors will fill out one of these for you." I took the hefty block of papers from her and put them on my desk. I took the top sheet and looked at it. It was just three questions, and a space at the bottom for notes. --Did this teacher make you feel stimulated and engaged? --Was this teacher a competent speaker, could you understand everything that s/he said? --Would you have this teacher again? --Notes, thoughts, suggestions. Rachel sat down with a sigh. "I'm pretty sure you'll pass with flying colors. You're not supposed to look at the sheets, TAs will be doing the rounds during the end of each period. I'll be tallying your score and reading all of the notes." She gave me a wry look. "I'm sure you'll get a pass from all of the girls." I was so startled that I nearly sprayed her with coffee. "Wh-what?" She covered her mouth with her hand and laughed silently behind it. "I'm surprised you haven't noticed. I'm the principal, I don't even see many kids on the daily basis, but I hear the girls in the lunchroom talking about you, in the halls, even the bathrooms." I was flushed. It honestly made me a bit uncomfortable. "Well, I hope I can come back next year on my own merit, and not just because there are no other male teachers below thirty five." Rachel laughed extra-hard at that last comment. --- The schools were all pretty lazily run, so the last day of school was basically a day for the teachers to work their asses off wrapping everything up while the kids just goofed off and got their friends to sign their yearbooks. For my first American Literature class, I just put an episode of 'The Office' on the projector and let them have fun. I handed out the evaluation cards and told them to put them in a pile on the empty desk by the door when they were done. Now that my eyes were opened, I did realize (with an undercurrent of embarrassment and alarm) that many of the girls kept looking at me out of the corner of their eyes. I may have been paranoid but I could have sworn that the group of giggling girls in the back were talking about me. A shy Asian girl asked if I would sign her yearbook, and after I signed hers I was surprised and touched when the rest lined up. Most of the class let me sign their yearbooks. My freshman class was louder and more frantic. I was glad to get back to my juniors at third period. I was starting to get writers cramp from signing yearbooks. My right hand had a smear of multicolored ink down the pinky and wrist from resting against bright pen and sharpie ink. --- I had all of my remaining stuff in a cardboard box to bring home. Daniel was being a lifesaver and had offered to give me a ride home. I was weighing the pros and cons of running to get another coffee from the lounge in my head, when one of the senior girls rushed in. She was early, most of the kids didn't come in until a minute or so before the bell. I blanked on her name for a second, but then I remembered. Her name was Savannah, a short pretty blonde girl who was always very vocal during the discussions. Her face was flushed and she looked like she was about to cry. "Mr. Beck... I'm sorry, I didn't m-m-mean t-to!" I stood up, startled. "Savannah, what do you mean? Are you okay?" She glanced frantically at the door, we were alone in the classroom. Tears spilled from her eyes. "Savannah,--" I murmured. "I saw you this morning." She whispered, wiping her eyes roughly with her sleeve. I saw you get a ride from that man... and he kissed you in the car. I thought it was kinda cute." I felt the blood draining from my face. She let out a choked sob. "I... I told my friend, Jessica. But I didn't know that she would get so freaked out. She told everyone!" The door opened as one of the boys, a skinny nerdy kid named Quentin, shouldered in. Savannah promptly shut up and ran to her desk, wiping her eyes. She looked perfectly miserable. My mouth felt very dry. Quentin was busy digging in his backpack for his yearbook, looking shyly at Savannah. I put my hand up in a way that I hoped was reassuring, and I left the room with my coffee cup, my mind racing. I was paranoid. But even accounting for my paranoia, something was up. A group of senior girls, Jessica among them, was whispering and talking. When I walked past, she pointed at me. A boy in my class, one of the basketball kids was staring at me intensely from where he leaned against his locker. I went into the teachers lounge and put my mug under the spout of the coffee machine. No one else was here, so I took a few deep breaths and sat down. I kept my eyes closed and cupped my head in my hands, simultaneously thinking and panicking. By the time the machine beeped to tell me that my mug was full, I had calmed down somewhat. I just had to get through this class. I had no idea what it was going to be like, but after this I would get to see Daniel. Just fifty minutes. I took a sip of my strong bitter coffee and walked back to class. --- I'm not sure who-all Jessica told, but she had almost certainly told most of the class. While I was in the lounge, they had obviously been talking about it, because several groups of students shut up when I entered the room. I could hear barely-muffled whispers and all of them were staring at me. Savannah's eyes were red and socketed. I was shocked by how miserable she was. I gave her an encouraging smile even as I felt beads of nervous sweat forming. When the bell rang and there was little to no yearbook activity, and all of the students were just staring and whispering, something snapped, and I stood up from my desk. I strode in front of their desks with a determined expression on my face and a sick feeling in my stomach. "It looks like we might just have one more day of discussion." I announced. I took a deep breath. "I'm gay." As I had expected, the room broke out into a dull roar of whispers. I spoke over them. "I was serious when I said that this would be a discussion. Please keep the whispering down and ask your questions and make your statements one by one. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean that I am no longer your teacher." The whispers quieted. Savannah raised her hand high, determined. I nodded in her direction. I could feel the crushing weight of their gaze. "I just want to say, I was the one who told Jessica, and I regret it. I don't know what she told all of you, but being gay isn't bad. My little sister is lesbian." She looked down, finished with her statement and flushing bright red. No hands came up, so I spoke. "Maybe you knew this, and maybe you didn't. But I applied to this school two years ago. The former principal found out what you do now and he made it very hard for me to get a job. There is a stigma for any LGBT people who want to get a job working with kids. There's a stigma against LGBT people in almost any workplace." I was surprised at the next kid to raise their hand. Joey Temple was a certified ladies man. A loud joker and prankster, popular and well liked. I had heard him joking with his friends, calling them 'faggot' or 'gay' or 'retarded' whenever they were joking. "What does that stand for?" He murmured, tentatively. "The LGBT?" "It stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender." I answered. "Transgender, that's like, transvestites right?" I shook my head. "Transgender is when you are born as one sex, but you identify with another. They may not necessarily be gay or lesbian depending on what gender they identify with, but they get lumped with the rest of us." As the questions continued, I began to relax. They were curious. With the exception of a few kids who kept silent and glaring, many of them were just curious. "Are you a Christian?" One of them asked. Another asked if I had ever had a girlfriend. We ended up discussing LGBT's in politics, and gay marriage across america. I ended up lecturing a bit about stonewall and the marches on Washington. A timid girl in the back asked. "Um, a couple weeks ago you had a really big hickey on your neck..." She never got to finish her question, the class dissolved into laughter, myself included. "Yes." I chuckled when the laughter died down. "That was my partner, Daniel. He gave me a ride this morning because my piece-of-shit car bit the dust." I saw what time it was. "Listen, you have the rest of class to do what you should have been doing. Yearbooks and my evaluation card. When you're finished, please put them on the empty desk by the door." I hesitated. "I had a lot of fun teaching you all this year. I hope I get to come back next year, and I hope that you all have a great summer. This is your last year in high school, so I hope that whatever you plan to do afterwards, you exceed at." Savannah resolutely stood up and stalked to the front of the room with her yearbook and a fluorescent purple marker. I signed it. Thanks for the opportunity, there is nothing to forgive, Have an amazing life. --Aaron Beck I ended up signing all but three yearbooks. Jessica, her boyfriend, and the kid who had stared at me so rudely in the hall, Jason. When the bell rung, they filtered out of my class to go to their last hour. I sighed, exhausted. The last hour had really taken something out of me, I had been so tense. I gathered up my last few things, closed my laptop, texted Daniel, and and got ready to leave. I let out a startled gasp when I realized I wasn't alone. I put my hand over my pounding heart and looked up at Jason where he stood in the doorway. I felt a twinge of uneasiness. He stood a good half-foot taller then me. A lot of kids here were taller then me, but Jason also outweighed me by a good forty pounds or so. Mostly muscle. "You're going to be late Jason." I murmured. I put my laptop case over one shoulder and turned around to pick up the cardboard box. The uneasiness jolted straight up to panic when I turned around and he was right there, towering over me, his muscles straining the t-shirt he wore. I dropped the box and took a step back, bumping against the desk. His tanned serious face broke into an expression of embarrassment and concern. "Shit! Sorry Mr. Beck." He knelt down and helped to put the stuff back in the box, babbling an apology. His cheeks were flushed. I knelt down to help, feeling embarrassed myself. For a single horrible moment I had thought... I shuddered and tried to get rid of those thoughts. He picked up the box. I had strained to hold the heavy mishmash of papers and binders, but he carried it like it was empty. "Um, can I help you with this? Walk you to the parking lot?" "Uh, sure." I answered. We were walking through the hallways, empty except for the hall monitors and a few people scurrying to their classes. Jason walked next to me. We didn't say anything, and I could feel myself sweating. I blinked in the bright sunshine. The sky was a hot dry blue and the sea of teenager cars winked into my eyes. I couldn't see Daniel anywhere. I checked my phone quick. Jason sat down on the curb with the box loosely cradled in his hands. "Um. I'm sorry I made you jump back there Mr. Beck. I... I want to tell you something but I just don't know how to say it." He ran a hand through his hair. I made an off-hand observation. He was very handsome. He was a tall slim boy with dark hair and a serious face. He always had girls after him. I sat down on the curb next to him, close, but not too close. "Well, how about you just say it. I'm hardly in a position to judge." He sat with his arms crossed and his elbows resting on his knees. He ducked his head between his arms and said. "I don't know who else I can tell. I'm--" He took a deep breath. "I'm gay, Mr. Beck." He let his breath out in a nervous gasp. "That's the first time I've said it out loud. I wasn't sure who to tell." I felt something in my chest loosen up. I had misread him. I had been so sure that he hated me for my confession today. "Well, that's a good first step. I know how hard it can be." He nodded, rubbing his face with his hands. "I... I just wanted to be able to say it out loud. No way I'll be able to tell my parents, or my friends. I just needed to tell someone or I'd go crazy." I hesitated. "You don't want to go through life like that, trust me. I can understand being afraid to tell your friends or family. What are you going to do after school?" Tenderness Ch. 07 "I'm going to Mankato State University." I grinned. "Then you're lucky. I have a ton of friends from this bar I work at. They came from MSU. They have the second-oldest college LGBT center in the nation. There is a huge community there. If you want my advice, maybe wait until you're more confident to tell your parents, but don't you dare try to hide yourself in college. Go to the center, be yourself for once." He was smiling. "Thanks Mr. Beck. I guess I chose the right place." I could see Daniel's car pulling into the parking lot. "Listen, if you ever need anyone to talk to, there are several LGBT hotlines that can answer your questions. And if you ever want some advice, my number is on the school website." Daniel pulled up and gave a short honk. Jason looked curiously, standing with my box of supplies in his hands. "Is that... Is that your..." I opened the back door for him to put the box into. "Daniel, this is one of my students, Isaac, he helped bring some supplies out. Jason, this is Daniel." Daniel looked so sexy. He was in sunglasses with his hair pulled back into a rough ponytail. His wrists and neck shone with copper-link jewelry and he was wearing a dark maroon shirt that looked really good against his dark skin. He gave Jason one of his amazing smiles. "How's it hanging?" Jason was suddenly shy. I saw him blushing. "Um, fine. Nice to meet you." I shook Jason's hand. "I'm glad that you were able to tell someone. You can call me if you ever need help, okay?" I started to get in the car and he started fumbling in his backpack. "Wait! Wait!" He pulled out his yearbook and a red sharpie. --- Daniel pulled out of the parking lot. The windows were open in the car and the cool breeze and hot sunlight felt amazing. I had closed my eyes just to relax and feel the breeze. When I opened my eyes Daniel was looking at me through rear-view mirror with his eyebrow raised. "What?" He grinned. "When are you going to tell me what happened today? It's hardly normal behavior for you to bring strapping young lads to meet your boyfriend." I pushed him lightly. "It's not like that at all! Get your mind out of the gutter!" I blew my breath out in a sigh. "I've had the strangest day." I told him about Savannah and the animated discussion and the yearbook-signings. I told him about Jason's confession. "I'm just glad that he told me, y'know? I hope that he does okay when he tells his parents." Daniel raised his eyebrow. "Ditto, but are you as clueless as I think you're being right now?" "Hmm?" I murmured, opening my eyes. Daniel laughed. "That boy told you he was gay. The reason he told you was because he had a major crush on you." I sat up. "No!" Daniel kept grinning wickedly. "It was all over his face. That boy was infatuated. I think he had a bit of a thing for me too... Who wants to bet that he'll be spanking the monkey thinking about us tonight?" I smacked Daniel lightly on the shoulder. "Daniel! Cut it out." My cheeks were flushed. I was actually a bit scandalized. I wasn't used to thinking about my students like that, and even though he was technically an adult and no longer my student, it still felt wrong. "Seems like every-damn-body on the planet has a crush on me now." I told him about what Rachel had said about the girls, and that just made him laugh. I laughed with him. It seemed funnier, and less creepy out here then it had in there. --- When we got back I just felt tired, I needed to fill out some forms to apply for next year, and I felt hot and kind of sweaty, so I just went to the bathroom to run a shower. Daniel stepped in as I was stripping out of my shirt. I grinned at him and said, "Hey honey." While I undid the last few buttons. He looked a little nervous for some reason. I got out of the shirt. "What's up?" He came in and put the lid down on the toilet and sat on it. "I... Well I want to ask you something but I'm not sure how to say it." He saw the expression on my face and was quick to reassure me. "No! It's nothing bad! Nothing like that..." I breathed a sigh of relief and cuffed him jokingly on the shoulder. "Don't scare me like that!" He looked at me with those sexy gold-flecked eyes of his. "I would never break up with you. I am so happy with you!" I blushed and sat on his lap, snuggling into him. "Say it again." I murmured, as he cradled me in his arms. He grinned and kissed me on the forehead. "I will never break up with you, and I am incredibly happy with you." I shrugged and suppressed a small moan as he casually laid his hand palm-down on the crotch of my slacks. My cock stirred under the cloth, and I wasn't feeling quite as tired now. "Um... So what did you want to tell me Daniel?" I asked quietly, running my fingertips up and down his wrist. He squeezed me gently and I moaned. He kissed the side of my neck. "Well, you're paid up until the end of the week, and you've stayed here for the last three days. I was wondering if you wanted to live with me." "Really?" I whispered. He nodded. "Yeah, we can take equal shares of the rent. I can clear out the short chest of drawers and half of the closet. I can get you a parking permit in a couple of days. If you need time to think--" He was still talking but I cut him off with a kiss. "Yes!" I squealed. "Yes, dummy! I want to live here. Why the hell are you still talking?" He let out a relieved laugh and kissed me back. I stood up and dropped my pants and underwear to my ankles. "Join me?" I giggled. He leaned forward and kissed me very gently, right there on the tip of my soft cock. It twitched and started to harden. He looked up into my eyes as he drew the tip of his tongue over the soft pink tip of my cock. "I'm in." He murmured. --------DANIEL-------- The water was lukewarm. The cooler water felt good after the heat of the sun. I squirted body wash on the blue loofa and started to scrub Aaron slowly, rubbing his soapy skin with the loofa and my hand and keeping my body pressed against him as the water poured down our skin. He had said yes! I got down on my knees so I could pay careful attention to all of him. He moaned softly and put his hands on my shoulders to brace himself. I scrubbed his lower back and gently cupped his sweet perfect buttocks in my hands. I had been pretty tentative about playing with him there. I wasn't sure if he was ready, and I didn't want to force him. I squeezed gently and he moaned. I scrubbed him gently and thoroughly with the loofa, his crack and the sensitive strip of skin behind his testes. I used my soapy hands to wash his soft ball sack. The loofa was too rough. They were low and relaxed with the heat from the shower. He moaned softly as I soaped them up and watched the water rinse them off. I kissed him right at the edge of the V his hips made, and I got more body wash in my hands. I used my soapy slick hands to stroke his perfect erection. He had to take a few steps back and lean against the tiles, panting and shaky on his feet. "Daniel?" He asked. He made a little mewling noise as I soaped the sensitive spot right under the helmet of his rock-hard cock. "Yeah?" He was definitely blushing. The water was too cool for it to make him red. "Do... Can you..." He took a deep breath and then reached for my hand where it was resting on his hip. He slid it behind him so my hand was cupping his sweet left buttock. "It felt good." He mumbled. I could barely hear him through the water, but I grinned. I stood so I could hug him. Our cocks rubbed together in the water streaming down our skin. "Tell me right away if I'm going too far, okay?" He nodded, and smiled. It was a relieved smile. He humped his hips slightly, rubbing that tantalizing cock against me. I dropped to my knees again, running kisses down his soft chest and stomach. I liked the contrast of my dark-olive hand against his pale skin. His cock jutted out from his body at slightly higher then 45 degrees. It was streamlined, it looked just perfect with the bright red head. I licked the head gently, teasing him. I grimaced as I tasted hints of body wash and he giggled breathlessly. I slid my hands up the backs of his thighs, feeling the soft invisible hairs. When I got up to his buttocks I clenched, unable to resist groping his sweet perfect little cheeks. Just touching his ass like this was enough to make him gasp and squirm in a good way. I searched for tender places, circling his asshole but never quite touching it. He was sensitive right above the hole, in the little triangle where the base of his spine ended. I sucked his cock, but slowly, sensuously. I didn't want him to come, not yet. He was moaning and grasping the stainless-steel shower-rack to stay up. I backed up, only teasing the tip of his cock with the tip of my tongue to look at his flushed face, turned to the side with his eyes closed and his mouth open and his hair clinging to the sides of his face. He was so beautiful like this, in the grip of passion. I pulled his buttocks apart and inched my finger towards the center. I felt the warm pucker, wet with shower water, and he shuddered slightly. I looked up, pausing in my minstrations to his cock, but the look on his face was of pleasure, not fear. I gently stroked the little hot hole and he shuddered again. I felt my eyes crinkling (my mouth was rather busy) with a grin. I had been so worried that he would be afraid if I ever tried to play with his ass, and he had such a cute ass! I went down deep, I knew he liked that. The head of his cock opened the back of my throat easily. I had gagged the first few times, but now the gag reflex was rarely a problem. He squealed softly, trembling. I felt a blob of precome squirt into my mouth. I backed away. "Do you want to finish Baby?" My first boyfriend had had a habit of withholding me from orgasm until I went half-crazy and had to beg him to finish. It had annoyed me so much that I made a promise to myself that I would never draw something out like that. He shook his head firmly. "It feels amazing back there Daniel... Please?" I was a little confused. "Please what?" He giggled and gasped. He was breathing like someone who had run a marathon. "I... I want you to finger me. I did it all the time when I masturbated, but I was just a little nervous to ask you when I was... When I was bruised down there. I'm all better though, and you're really good at it!" With an inordinate amount of pleasure, I dipped my head and very lightly licked the tip of his cock, not hard, I didn't want to drive him over the edge. With my left hand I cradled and (very lightly) mashed his testes. With my right, I started to massage the little tight pucker with my fingertips. I could feel him shuddering with pleasure. He was trembling like a tuning fork, and I started judging his sensitive spots by how much he was shaking. I barely dipped my fingers inside, I just kept massaging while he trembled and struggled to hold back. Finally, I reached for the body wash and put a glob of the clear stuff on my finger. I spread the slippery gel all around his hot little hole and then started to work in my littlest finger. He gasped and suddenly I was blinking through the layer of come he was spraying on my eyes and face. I could taste the bittersweet stuff on my face and feel it on my cheeks and eyes and forehead. He slid to the floor of the tub, gasping and shivering deliciously. We looked at each other, me covered in come that the shower was slowly washing off, and we laughed. --------AARON-------- I couldn't help it... It had felt so good! I had never thought that it could feel so good. He hadn't even touched my prostate, which had always been my goal when I fingered myself before. It was as if the cluster of nerves around my anus had been extra-sensitive, extra-aware when it was someone else's hand doing the work. I was starting to understand how women could like anal sex! And Daniel's face! We were both sitting in the tub with the water still pounding down on us, and we were laughing at the top of our lungs. I was laughing so hard that my tummy hurt and I was having a hard time drawing air in. It was a bit of a tight fit. It was a big bathtub, but we were two full grown men. I gave Daniel a hug, still trying to smother my laughing fits. "Let's get out of here, I'll take care of you in the bedroom." I nipped his earlobe and he chuckled. "I accept." He purred, turning the knob to 'off' with one fumbling hand. --- AUGUST 4, ABBOT NORTHWESTERN HOSPITAL --- Daniel was here because his sister was about to give birth. I was here because Diane and I had started hanging out over the months and I was worried about her. Everything was going normally, but she was so skinny and the baby was so huge. I couldn't help but worry a little. It had turned into an impromptu gathering, out in the waiting room. It felt like the whole family was here. Daniel's mother and father, Tyler and Axel, Marie and Jack. Marcus was over with his wife, and Daniel's dad was telling funny stories about when they were kids. Daniel was pretty embarrassed, but I thought it was cute. She had been in labor for six hours now. I leaned forward. "She told me that she did a lot of research. The way that they normally give babies in hospitals is actually one of the worst ways imaginable other than being upside-down. She found a doctor that's okay with her being in other positions." "That's what she said!" Tyler chirped. Axel rolled his eyes. Now that I saw him without any makeup or artifice, I saw that he was definitely at least in his thirties. I could also see that his relationship with Tyler was getting a little strained. They just weren't the same maturity level, and that was taking a pretty serious toll. I gave it a month. Daniel gave it two weeks. He knew his cousin a lot better then I did. "I guess doctors don't know everything." Daniel's dad grunted. Marcus ran into the waiting room. He was dressed in green scrubs and a breathing-mask over his normal clothes. His hair was hidden under a cap. "Come and see!" He said, breathlessly and joyfully. As we all got up, Daniel's mom was right behind him. "What happened? Is Diane okay? Boy or Girl? I don't see why you couldn't just get an ultrasound and tell us then! Did the birth go okay?" "Mom! Calm down, she passed the placenta almost an hour ago!" Alexandria puffed up and exploded. "SHE WAS ALREADY ALRIGHT AND YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY WAITING NOT SURE IF SHE WAS OKAY?" Marcus was trying to placate her while Daniel and I had a silent mutual giggling fit behind. Through the mixture of furious yelling and congratulations and inquiries, we managed to hear that Diane had given birth to a healthy baby girl. Eight pounds, four ounces. Her name was going to be Alex. That seemed to soften the Arceiro Matriarch slightly. --------DANIEL-------- Aaron was slightly nervous, and I knew it wasn't all for my sister-and-law. Diane and Aaron had surprised me and become close friends. One time, I had come home to find them leaning over a laptop together and picking out baby stuff. He didn't like being in the hospital. I wasn't sure if he was just adverse to hospitals like many people were (my mother included) or if he didn't like it because of the night we had met. My mother and Marcus were arguing furiously. Apparently, he and Diane had taken a half-hour or so to enjoy their baby by themselves without telling mother, and she was pretty angry and worried. I held Aaron's hand and squeezed slightly, and he smiled at me. He was so sweet. We reached the maternity ward, and Diane's room. We all managed to squeeze in as a nurse swept the curtain back. Diane was laying back in the bed, looking radiant and exhausted. Her dark beautiful hair was slicked with sweat, and she was holding her baby, little Alex. Alex was wrapped in a soft pink blanket and suckling softly at Diane's nipple. "Hi." Diane whispered, smiling. "She's so strong. She's hungry, too! When she's finished, you can hold her." She was speaking to her mother. I saw tears beading in her eyes and I ached for her. Aaron looked up to me for an explanation, biting his lower lip. I took him slightly aside, toward's the hallway. "Diane's mother and father are incredibly racist." I told him. "They've basically disowned her for marrying a quarter-Ojibwa. They refused to come to see her first child, and they even offered to pay for an abortion if she split up with Marcus. They make your dad look like a pacifist." I gritted my teeth, that was a bad mistake. Now Aaron's eyes were beading up. It was bad news to mention his father to him in any context. "Sorry." I whispered, putting my hand on his shoulder. "It's okay." He whispered, scrubbing his tears away with a quick decisive movement. "This is a happy day!" He walked briskly back to the group, and I walked with him, feeling more in love then ever. Alex had finished her meal. Diane buttoned up the hospital gown and carefully, ever-so-carefully, handed her to Mom. Alex was wrapped in a soft white blanket with little patterned flowers. She blinked up at her grandmother, and Mom started to laugh, tears streaming down her cheeks as she did. Mom held her for ten minutes, cooing about how beautiful she was, and Dad practically needed to pry Alex out of her hands so he could get a personal moment with his granddaughter. It was odd to think of my parents as grandparents, they both seemed so vital and young, they were both still in their early fifties. Alex was passed around like some precious parcel. Both Tyler and Axel declined. Tyler was embarrassed when Marie told a story about how squirmy he had been as a baby. Suddenly, it was my turn, and I had this tiny bundle of life in my arms. She was cross-eyed with exhaustion at this point. She gave a fussy little cry and thrashed around one tiny chubby arm. She was wrinkled and tiny with gigantic black eyes and a soft tuft of dark hair. I sat down to be a little more stable, and Aaron sat down next to me. Aaron offered his finger, and Alex made a sound like a baby bird and grasped Aaron's finger, unable to wrap her entire chubby fist around it. I tore my eyes from my niece and looked at Aaron, who had a look on his face of absolute wonder. "She's so tiny." He whispered. "Look at her fingernails." I looked, and I saw the soft little fingernails, not a single one larger then a grain of rice. Diane was smiling. "You can hold her, if you want Aaron." Aaron held out his arms and I very carefully passed the parcel. Aaron held her, supporting her head. She had been fussing for the last few minutes, but with Aaron, she just looked up at him with solemn crossed eyes. Aaron giggled, and I saw tears in his eyes. Happy-tears. Aaron had almost as hard of a time letting go as my mother. It started me thinking for the first time. Just a seed of a thought. Did Aaron want kids? I had always wanted a child. Maybe we could have one some day. The nurse was telling us that all of us except the father should leave. Mother was arguing, but me and Aaron got up right away and left. I held his hand, and he wiped his eyes quick. I understood. --- --------AARON-------- This was the ballsiest thing I had ever done in my life. I felt a little frightened, as I walked into the jewelry store. But after thinking about it for weeks, I was sure that this was what I wanted to do. Now that it was summer, Purple Rain was my only job again. The free time was nice, but a little lonely. I hung out with Diane a lot, I got to play with Alex almost every day. But today, I had gone to the mall, and I was looking down at a selection of titanium wedding rings with apprehension and excitement. A slim woman with tied-back blonde hair and elegant eyebrows stood behind the counter. Her own fingers sported a single large diamond ring with a wedding band. She smiled at me cheerfully. "If you would like, over here I have a section of woman's rings that would match these nicely." Tenderness Ch. 07 I was starting to feel a little paranoid, a little nervous. "Um, no. I'll just be looking at the men's rings today." Trying to be subtle had no effect. Her smile just widened by a few teeth and she said. "I know that titanium rings are very stylish, but we do have some very good feminine casts over this way, you don't have to give her a man's ring!" I flushed. I felt like everybody must be looking at us. "Um. I'm fine, I would just like to look a little longer please." She nodded knowingly and left. Only to be back a second later with a display of titanium rings for women. Slim models with diamonds set in, squiggly models, lacy rings made entirely of celtic patterns. "What style does she like" The clerk gushed. "If she likes to dress starkly, perhaps this one would be best," She held up a dark titanium ring with a diamond set in the band. "But perhaps she would like this model better..." I interrupted her, so annoyed that I forgot myself and spoke loud enough to be overheard by a few nearby customers and another salesman. "NO, Ma'am. I'm fairly sure that HE wouldn't like ANY of these rings." She stopped talking and stood there with a pair of inlaid titanium rings in one hand and her eyes and mouth shaped into perfect O's of surprise. I felt my cheeks flush and I turned around to see a young black couple staring at me wide-eyed and an older woman looking absolutely shocked. I started to edge out, feeling ashamed and afraid. "Mrs. Yancy? Come over here and help this customer with her ring-cleaning please." The other salesman walked over in a quick stride. He was in his thirties, overweight, but dressed in a very stylish grey suit with diamond cufflinks. His hair was styled and he wore a trimmed beard. He smiled sympathetically at me. "Come in the back and I'll show you the full selection. You wont have to worry about the rubbernecks." He said the last part loudly and deliberately, and the older woman having her ring cleaned looked away with a 'humph!' noise. I followed him, grateful to get out of sight. --- The back of the store looked like a bank vault. The wall was lined with locked metal shelving, and the ceiling was alive with cameras. He pulled out a chair for me and I sat down, thanking him quietly. He grinned at me. "You got some kind of guts! I didn't have the balls to go looking for rings for me and Edward, so I ordered them online. I'm sorry about Yancy. I'm gonna put in a word about her to the manager. That woman needs to have some damn sense kicked into her!" While he talked he moved across the wall of locked shelves. He pulled out two of the shelves and set them down on the table. The shallow shelves were actually spare displays, sheets of plain cardboard with slots for the rings. "These are all of the male titaniums that we have in the store right now. We have more in the catalogue, and size isn't a problem. We can either get them sized here or you can send for a new one if you don't want to worry about weakening the ring. Do you know his size?" I dug in my pocket and took out a copper ring that he had been wearing when he took me out on our first date. "Um, no, but I have this." He took it, and guessed the size in a glance, and wrote it down. "Give me your hand and I can measure your size." He saw me smiling, and he grinned back. "If only you could see how punch-drunk happy you look right now." He wrote down my size too. We talked about sizing, and engraving, insurance, and about their special three-day return policy. "Now, I wish this wasn't the case, but if something doesn't go as planned, you have the option to return the rings within the first three days with only a thirty-dollar fee if they're in good condition. These titanium babies are tough, so I wouldn't worry about that. However, if you get the engravings you want, you wont be able to return them. Are you sure you want to engrave them?" I thought about it for a few minutes, looking at the models. Then I smiled at him. "He's going to say yes." And I knew that I was telling the truth. --------DANIEL-------- Long day... It had been long, but I was satisfied. More then satisfied, I was thrilled. I had just gotten a substantial bonus. I wondered if I should just put it in my retirement fund. I had gotten Aaron to start one. My parents had gotten on me to start one as soon as my college loans were paid off, and he had just finished his, so it was good to start early. He joked and called me morbid, and I guess I was, a little. I fumbled the key into the door and heard Noel's claws scratching across the floor so he could greet me. When the door opened he nuzzled me knees, making that half-whine, half-barking noise that huskies do so well (and loudly). He used to jump up on me, but with his arthritis those days were pretty far behind him. Then I realized why he was so agitated. I smelled dinner. It was fragrant and sweet at the same time. Aaron poked his head from the kitchen and grinned at me. "Welcome home Daniel!" He chirped. I stepped in, amazed. The table was set up with the only tablecloth we had, the nice red one. He had found a candle somewhere and put it in a small cut-crystal flower vase to keep it up. Our table was big enough for six people, and I smiled when I saw that he had put our plates right next to each other. He had two bottles of Arceiro red wine in a big mixing-bowl of ice. One was already open and half-empty. I stepped into the kitchen, which was amazingly clean despite the work he must have done. He was a good cook, cleaning up as he went along. The smell got better and better until I saw the broiler pan on top of the stove. Aaron grinned, and he looked so goddamn cute! He practically bounced the few steps over to me and hugged me tight around the neck. "Got here just in time! I just pulled the steak out. Go get out of those clothes and into something comfy." I peered into the broiler pan as he messed around in the fridge. It was beef tenderloin wrapped with bacon. It was surrounded by tender seared onions and vegitables and it smelled... I couldn't even describe how it smelled! "This is amazing sugar-plum!" I heard him snort as I walked over to change out of my work-clothes. "But what's the occasion?" I took off my tie and started to unbutton my shirt. When I turned around to grab a T-shirt, he was there, smiling his big goofy smile. "Who says we need one? I love you Daniel!" And with that he yanked my Firefly shirt over my head and kissed me when my head popped out. He was dressed informally, in jeans and an old marching-band T-shirt. His bare feet padded across the floor. So I kicked off my shoes and pulled on my sweatpants to go out and join him. It was going to be the fanciest informal dinner of my life. I grinned as I was halfway down the hallway and the music started playing. He was a massive fan of Florence+the Machine, and she was starting to warble Strangeness and Charm from the iPod dock. I rolled my eyes and stepped carefully over Zoe, who meowed loudly and rubbed against my ankles as if trying to make me fall. "Scoot, cat." I grunted, nudging her out of the way with my foot, which she batted playfully. I poured us each a glass of wine from the opened bottle. He set the broiler pan down on the table on top of a ceramic pan-holder Annabel had gotten me at my housewarming party. He held up his wine glass (also a gift from the housewarming party) "A toast?" I nodded. "To love, and bacon!" He giggled and clicked glasses with me before taking a drink. --- After dinner, I was so stuffed that I felt like I could barely move. Noel had managed to beg a scrap of bacon or two and was lying content on his doggy bed. We had drunk our way into the second bottle. I wasn't drunk, I was just pleasantly buzzed. We moved our drinks and wine to the living room. This was normal, after dinner we usually watched a movie and made out a little. Sometimes it was hard to wait until the movie was done, and I had already had to wash the couch-covers more times in the last few months then the entire year before. But before I got up to pick a movie, he put a hand on my shoulder and yanked me back down. I was puzzled. "Hey, what's up?" He sat cross-legged, facing me on the couch while I sat like a normal person, my head tilted to look at him. He took a deep breath, and started to talk. I tucked his hair behind his ear as he did. "Before... Before I met you, I was living in a state of apathy. I was wasting my life, but now that we're together, everything is just perfect." I could see his eyes getting wet, despite how steady his voice was. "It wasn't just... It wasn't just the rape. You saved me from this shadow that had been hanging over me as far back as I can remember. You saved me from my father, and from my insecurities, and from myself, I guess." His voice wavered a little at the end. "Shit, I w-wasn't supposed to cry." He mumbled. I wiped his tears away, getting a little choked up myself. "What is this about, Baby?" I murmured, kissing his eyes, and feeling his tear-laden lashes. He smiled a little. It was happy-crying. "Shut up Daniel, I gotta finish this." I nodded and pretended to zip my lips. "I know that we've only been together for a few months, but I feel like I know you better then I've ever known everyone, and I want to know more." I was speechless as he brought out a little blue velvet box. Could that be...? It couldn't possibly...? There was even a little thought in the back of my head that wondered, Isn't that MY job? His hands closed over the box, the fingertips hooked around the velvet seam to open it. "I know that we could just go to Iowa, but because of DOMA it wouldn't count for anything here. I want to wait until it's legal in Minnesota, but... But I want to know now." He opened the little blue box. Nestled in the soft grey silk was a simple silver band. No, it was too bright to be silver, maybe steel or titanium. It was slim, with slightly darker edges. It gleamed like a round wink of starlight. "Daniel Lewis Arceiro?" His eyes were wide open, full of love and hope. "Will you marry me?" Now the tears were coming to my eyes, streaming down. It took all of my manly prowess to stop my hand from going to my mouth. "Yes." I choked out. He laughed, and he was crying too. We were both crying and laughing with joy. He held my left hand and slipped the band on, it fit perfectly. "I stole your copper ring." He admitted, grinning so hugely it covered his face. He dug in the blue box, lifting up the silk panel where the second ring was hiding. "Oh, I forgot! Look on the inside of the band!" He showed the inside of his while I slipped mine off of my finger. I had just put it on, and it was loathe to take it off. I peered into the insides of both rings, and in simple blocky text, they both had the engraving. 'If you can't do something smart, do something right' Suddenly I was laughing even harder. Not mean, just laughing. It was fucking perfect. "F-From Serenity!" I laugh-sobbed, stupid with joy. He nodded and slipped his band on with careful reverence before hugging me so hard I felt my ribs creak. I loved him so hard it hurt. I crushed him under me on the couch and kissed him so hard that his teeth cut my lip. I didn't care. It wasn't a sexy feeling, that's what surprised me. After pinning him down and kissing my lip bloody, I picked him up and danced crazily, I had too much energy to sit still, too much energy to have sex. I needed to scream and dance and run. I picked him up and twirled with him in the living room. He screamed with laughter and Noel jumped arthritically around us, barking his head off. After we had calmed down a little, we called everybody. We got around the landline and put it on speaker, and we called everybody we knew to tell them the news. We were up at the phone for three hours telling everybody the good news. Before we knew it, my parents were planning what they referred to as the 'pre-wedding' and were offering to cater. "Mom, what the hell is a pre-wedding?" I yelled, still dizzy with laughter and love. I had Aaron as the little spoon (you can spoon standing up, right?) and I gave him a squeeze that made him giggle, and I kissed the top of his head. Dad was panting with laughter on the line and mom had to speak up over him. "Because of DOMA you two can't get a real marriage yet! But I want to celebrate it anyway. We can let you have the restaurant for a day, and we'll cater. You can invite the whole family and all of your friends! It will be a way to consummate it!" Aaron was red-faced with wine and joy when he leaned forward and giggled. "It's been consummated Mrs. Arceiro, don't worry!" Dad had been leveling off, but at that last comment he started to roar again. At the end it was decided. We planned a date for the fifth of September, which would be a Sunday, and most people would be free. It was looking more and more like an official wedding as the planning continued. My parents were being amazing, offering to cover wine, food, location, and even a deejay. We would still be covering some of the costs, but those were minimal compared to the two thousand or so dollars they were offering to cover. They waved it off over the phone. "We paid most of the costs for Marcus's wedding!" Dad said. "And her relatives showed up just to grab booze and dash! This whole pre-wedding will probably cost about as much as that damn cake." Then I was laughing. Dad was still furious over that damn six-layer cake covered in purple frosted roses and curlicues. It had cost 1800 dollars. Aaron looked at me with a mischevous gleam in his eyes. I had told him about the cake. "Ooh! Mr. Arceiro! Can we have a cake too? I think it should be four layers... maybe five..." Mom cackled with laughter over the phone and it took a beat for my father to join in. --- When we finally hung up, we had both burned off some of that furious energy, but I still didn't feel like sex. I just wanted to snuggle and admire my new ring. I told him so, and he shrugged. "Wanna watch Serenity?" And that's what we did. We sat curled up on the couch with him in my lap. He kept his left hand over my left hand, and we kept clicking our rings together. When Jayne said his line. "Shepard Book once told me; If you can't do somethin' smart, do somethin' right." We both looked at each other and kissed. It was our line now. When the kiss broke, he looked into my eyes solemnly. "That wasn't stupid or nerdy?" I smiled and kissed his nose. "It was nerdy alright. But it was perfect." --- Aaron definitely took over the party-planning over the next few days. He did want to have a cake, and we found a place that would make a modestly sized wedding cake for about a hundred dollars. Aaron refused to have a fancy cake. "Do you know what fondant is?" He groaned. "It is this yucky clay-like crap they put on fancy cakes to make patterns and shapes. Let's stick with buttercream." We both ate a different kind of frosting that night, but that was besides the point. We ordered a small chocolate cake with buttercream frosting and two little groomsmen on top. We had to search far and wide for one with a ponytail, and Aaron painstakingly painted his face slightly darker. He also painted glasses onto the other one. We were such a cute plastic couple. There wasn't that much to plan, really, but he was so excited, and I was too. Sometimes I would be at work, and I would just look down at my ring and want to scream out the window that I was engaged. Since our engagement, Aaron had become something of an activist, and I had joined him wholeheartedly. He had signed up to an organization online and all day he called homes of voters to educate them on the upcoming marriage amendment. It wasn't coming for a year, but he was determined to stop it. I joined him, and we pinned flyers to doors in neighborhoods on the weekends. Sometimes I thought that gay marriage would become legal in Minnesota through his sheer force of will. On Labor day, we had dinner together, and I saw the invite list. Overall, we had about two hundred people, but other then the Principal of his school and a few of his friends from Purple Rain, they were all my family, and my friends. But when I got to the bottom of the list, I saw heavy eraser marks. I touched the paper, and it was rough from being penciled in and erased, penciled and erased, over and over. I rubbed the thin paper between my fingers. The invite list was under a bundle of flyers and mail. I checked some of the flyers. Along with the ones informing people about the anti-marriage amendment, there were some for his Survivors group, which he still visited twice a month. He had added George Heinlein to the list. I rubbed that bare patch of paper. It was erased too thoroughly for me to tell who it had been, but I had a pretty good idea. I looked over at him. He was reading some paperwork for the new school year, he had gotten the job smoothly, none of the other contestants were even considered as far as I could tell. I was loathe to bring up his father, but I had to. "Did you call him?" He looked up over the (fucking delicious) mushroom soup he had made and saw that I was holding the invite list. He got that sad look on his face again. "Yeah." I put my arm around his shoulders. "What's the verdict?" I asked quietly, pretty sure that I knew. Now that I was closer, I could see the cover-up around his eyes. He had bought that stuff for his bruises, now he only used it when he was crying and he didn't want me to know. He leaned on my shoulder and I kissed him on the top of his head. "He hung up." Aaron whispered. "At l-least h-he waited until I w-was d-d-d-done talking th-this time." I cradled his head as his voice broke. The makeup stained his tears, and flesh-colored water ran down his face. I wiped his face with the oven-mitt he had used to bring the pot of soup to the table. As the makeup came off of his face, I saw just how big the red socketed patches were. It had been a really bad one this time. I half-carried him to the bedroom and snuggled with him, waiting for the tears to stop. That was the only real cure for this kind of thing. I wrapped my left hand around his left hand, and our rings touched. --------AARON-------- When our rings clicked together, it calmed me down slightly. Jesse, at the Purple Rain; she bitched about wedding rings all of the time. She said that they were created by the diamond companies, along with that bullshit advice to spend two months salary on them. Maybe our rings were just a marketing gimmick, but my ring comforted me. I sometimes slipped it off (very carefully, only when I was sitting still) and looked at the words on the inside for comfort. It was nice to wear a material sign of my love on my finger for all to see. Even if they didn't know what it meant. I was so grateful that I had him now. That I had my man. I didn't want to think about my dad. I didn't want to think about my pathetic attempts to get in touch with him. I wanted my man. I loved thinking that. My man. I turned around and kissed him. I could sense how surprised he was, but then his face relaxed, and he kissed me back. I could see his beautiful gold-flecked eyes up close. He carefully removed my glasses. When he turned around to put the glasses on the side table, I sucked on the side of his neck. He moaned softly, and slid his hands under the bottom of my t-shirt. He gently fondled my nipples, flicking his fingers over them to feel them harden into points. He gently tickled my ribs, making me squirm and laugh. When I did laugh, he smiled the sweetest smile in the world. "Now, there's the sunshine I've been looking for. I rolled so I was resting on top of him, and I continued to kiss him. I slowly humped my ass against his crotch as we kissed. He snaked one hand under my waistband in the back of my pants, and he gently massaged my asshole with two fingers, making me tense up with sensation and groan. Tenderness Ch. 07 He pulled my t-shirt over my head while I fumbled with his shirt buttons. We were wearing too many clothes. For a second, we barely touched each other as we mutually struggled to get out of our constricting clothes. The second time I straddled him, he was in a far more pleasing state of undress. I gently ground my cock against his while leaning flat over his chest to kiss him hard. His hands cupped my buttocks and one dry finger was poking and tickling the sensitive skin. I craned my body over to dig in the drawer for the little bottle of astroglide he had brought home from the supermarket one day. He grinned up at me. "Thank you darlin'." He teased, taking the bottle from me so I could lay on top of him again. I squeezed one hand between us to stroke our cocks together. He penetrated my ass with one lubricated finger. I shuddered and moaned, getting briefly distracted. He cupped the back of my head with his free hand and kissed the back of my neck as I buried my face into the pillow above his shoulder, trembling and gasping. He curled his two fingers deep inside me and went for the kill. I shuddered and whimpered as he massaged my prostate. I panted in his ear as he dug his fingers inside me. "Daniel." I panted. "Do... Do you want to?" There, it was out. He paused in his merciless attack of my prostate. I lifted my head from where my face had been smothered in the pillow, panting, humping his cock with my cock. He touched the side of my face with his clean hand. "Baby, are you sure? We haven't done it yet..." "I know!" I whispered, feeling tears sting my eyes. "I've always been so damn--" He cut me off, putting his hand over my mouth, surprising a giggle out of me. "Don't go down that road Baby." He said sternly. "I made you a promise. I would never make you do anything that made you uncomfortable, and I'm keeping that promise." He kissed the tip of my nose. "So tell me honestly. Do you want to have anal sex because you think you're ready, and because you really aren't afraid that it's going to hurt, and because you want it? Or do you want to do it just because it's another square that you have to tick off of your sexual 'to-do' list?" I bowed my head, thinking. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "You can think about it as long as you want, Honey-buns. We're engaged. We're together forever. And if I never had anal sex with you, I'd still be the happiest man on earth. It's a lot of trouble, and things can get messy." I loved him so much just then. I kissed him hard on the lips. "Did I say you could stop fingering me?" I demanded, unable to stop the silly grin on my face. --- I was at the grocery store when I ran into an unexpected face. Jason looked up from the bagels he had been comparing and his handsome face lit up. "Mr. Beck?" He called. "Is that you?" He ran over, and something seemed different about him. He had always been so serious, but he seemed more relaxed, happier, more confident in his skin. I had a couple of tomatoes, we walked together, catching up. "Hey, I know he wasn't in your class, but do you know a senior named Caleb Greene? Kind of a short kid, blonde, glasses?" I shook my head, quickly going over the spice rack. "Well, he's my boyfriend! We met at the Senior camp trip. I had no idea that there were other gay kids at school." He was so excited, so happy. I grinned, I was happy that he was happy (and to a lesser degree, that he wasn't crushing too hard on me any more). "Well, I hate to upstage your good news, but get an eyeful of this." He looked blankly at the ring on my finger for a second, and then he made the connection. He gaped at me. "You... You're...?" I laughed out loud and nodded, feeling happy tears sting my eyes. "Me and Daniel are engaged. We're not getting MARRIED until it's legal, but the engagement is official. I've been working my ass off protesting and educating people about the marriage amendment they're going to try next November, and all sorts of things." We talked for the rest of the time I was there. He lived a short way from this supermarket, and had just been picking up bread, but it was fun to talk. As we parted ways, I invited him and his boyfriend to come to the pre-wedding. He was delighted. --------DANIEL-------- Noel was excited because we were moving around so much. Normally, I would have given him a big hug and a treat, but right now I was trying to keep the big shedding-factory as far away from my tux as possible. He looked up at me with that pitiful big-eyed look that he did so well. "Nah-ah! Stay away from me lump! I do not want to sweep your fur off of my shoulders tonight. I stood in front of the hallway mirror sideways, sucking in my tummy. The Tuxedo was a tiny bit tight around the stomach. It was a classic black number, with a slim black bow tie and a single button and black leather shoes. My hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail at the back of my neck. I adjusted the lapels and wiped a single white husky-hair off of the shiny fabric. "You look so handsome Daniel." I jumped slightly, flushing at being caught preening and sucking in. But when I saw him, I was speechless. His tux was a classic affair like mine. He had paid an extra thirty to get it tailored, and it was worth it. It fit his slim waist and shoulders well. He was just built to wear a tux. He had a silk grey bow-tie, and subtle silver cufflinks. His hair was silky and clean, his eyes were glowing behind his glasses, and he had the most beautiful smile on his face. I had to step forward and put my hands on his shoulders and kiss him silly. Noel jumped all over us, and after we left it took us almost a half-hour with the sticky-roller to get rid of the fur. "After this, can I be Aaron Arceiro?" He asked solemnly. Then his solemn face broke up and he giggled. "I'm gonna sound like a silver-age comic book hero." I shrugged. "What makes you think that you're the wife in this situation? You're the one that proposed. I just figured we'd keep our last names even after we marry." He nodded, grinning. "I guess that makes sense. Someone says 'Mr. Arceiro' and we both have to turn our heads? Not happening. Besides, it would confuse the kids I teach." Aaron scratched Noel's ears and the big dog panted happily. "We took you on a walk and gave you dinner silly, don't worry, we'll be back by midnight to give you walksies." His ears pricked up on the word 'walk' and he skittered to the door to paw at his leash where it hung on the coat-hook. "Now look what you've done." I joked. I looked at the fur that decorated our tuxes, sighed, and grabbed the sticky-roller on the way out. --- The party was supposed to start at seven, but when we got there at six thirty, the place was already busy. Marcus, Diane, Alex, my parents, Annabel, Rose, Uncle Jack and Aunt Marie and even Axel and Tyler. The restaurant looked strange, a lot of the tables had been pushed into storage, and those that were left were pushed to the sides to make a decent-sized dance floor. The DeeJay was here, setting up his equipment against one wall. The air smelled heavenly. The cake and a few cold appetizers were already set up, under a protective glass cover and layers of saran-wrap respectively. Mom was the first one over. She gave us both big hugs. "You two look so handsome!" She gushed. My father came over next. I had always noticed that Aaron was pretty shy around him. But he gave my father a firm handshake, and grinned. "Thank you for giving me your son's hand in marriage." Aaron said solemnly, struggling not to crack up. My dad howled with laughter until he had to blot at his eyes with his red tie. He had such an infectious laugh that he wasn't the only one. Aaron was normally so shy, but he was playing his part as the host, greeting everyone and talking. Marie was especially supportive, and she suggested that we could have our weddings together when it became legal. I thought that sounded great. They were talking about their separate activist-campaigns when Diane came up with Alex. Aaron's eyes softened and he held out his arms. Alex gurgled and giggled when she saw him, she loved Aaron. She reached out to pat his face with her sticky little hands, making sweet baby-noises. Diane sighed. "She's been fussing for hours, I managed to calm her down by walking and bouncing her for the last few hours. All Aaron has to do is pick her up and she's as sweet as sugar. I thought you'd want to say hi, Alex and mommy are going upstairs when the music starts." "Thanks Di." Aaron whispered, but he only had eyes for Alex, offering his forefinger for the baby to squeeze. I managed to drag him away from the baby as guests started arriving. Mom and Dad had a few of the waiters working in the kitchen to finish the catering, and Aaron gave a cry of delight when they started bringing out shrimp won-tons and spring rolls and curry pot-stickers. They had tried their hand at some asian recipes, and for the most part they turned out pretty good. For the rest of the night they were teased that they should have opened a chinese buffet instead of an Italian restaurant. Aaron's student, the tall serious boy that had been crushing on him so badly, arrived with his boyfriend at seven on the dot. His boyfriend was cute as a button, a short blonde kid with pale blue eyes and a cute snub-nose who was even more shy than Aaron. They talked for a little while, Aaron showed off his ring, and then they went to get snacks while I greeted Ms. Sharon Delesseps, the woman who had given me the courage to start dating Aaron in the first place. Her red dress hung on her stark body, she had a black wrap over her shoulders and she had a sort of imperious statuesque grace. She patted my shoulder. "You look lovely Arceiro, where is he." With her usual brusqueness. I pointed her over to the spring rolls. "Did you get him a therapist like I asked you?" She demanded. I was grateful to have an answer to that. "He goes to a therapy group twice a month. I go with him sometimes." I started telling her about 'survivors' and she seemed fascinated. More and more people arrived, flooding the minibar and the snack table, talking, nodding and swaying to the quiet music (the DeeJay would play dance music later) and visiting. Bethany, one of my straight cousins, bobbed around the place with a massive expensive digital camera, taking pictures so fast sometimes that the flash reminded me of a strobe light. I let her boss me around, and we got plenty of pictures of me and Aaron hugging, kissing putting cake in each other's mouths, and so on. I got to meet Jesse for the first time, George and Ms. Delesseps were having a serious conversation. Everything was starting to fall together when my Father called for everyone to shut up. He gave a speech that brought tears to my eyes. He told everyone there how proud he was of me. Aaron was right next to me, and he started to cry very briefly during the speech, but they were happy tears. My mother gave a speech, and I gave a short speech, standing up on a table to do so. It was just something brief, about how much I loved Aaron, and how glad I was that everyone was here to support us. Aaron hopped up on the table with me and kissed me in front of everyone. They applauded and there were quite a few wolf-whistles. The DJ started a dance song, and Aaron swept me out to the floor. Bethany chased us with single-minded ferocity, her camera clicking as she did. --------AARON-------- For a long time, the DeeJay played dance songs. But now, he announced. "Now, I want to slow things down a little bit. A man requested this gem for the grooms, this song proves that oldies are oldies for a reason. Written in the thirties, sung and trumpeteered by Pops himself in 1951, and it's still the best damn slow-dance song ever written." I recognized the song as it started. 'A kiss to build a dream on' sung by Louis Armstrong. His husky voice started up, rough and sweet. "Give me, a kiss to build a dream on..." The lights dimmed as it started. I rested my head on Daniel's chest, and we slow-danced. I could dimly see others moving in the darkness, like wraiths. I could feel the warmth of our bodies, and the bodies around us. The warmth of his hand on my back. My heart felt swollen with love. As Louis crooned, we spun slowly, suspended forever in this moment in time. I could hear his heartbeat, at first fast from the dance before, but then slow, to match the tempo of the song. As the trumpet started up, I looked up into his eyes. "I love you Aaron." He murmured, kissing my forehead. I rested my head back on his chest. "I love you Daniel." I had never slow-danced with anyone. It was like we were in our own little bubble. The song seemed to last forever, but when the song ended on the last crooning note, I felt we had just been dancing for a moment. The crowd clapped, and there were several requests to play the song again, it was a favorite. I felt someone tap my shoulder, right after Daniel looked up, his eyes full of shock and mistrust. I turned around and my heart stuttered in my chest. Father was there, in the old tuxedo that he had married my mother in. It still fit him. His head was bowed and humble. His eyes were full of tears. The song started again, and the lights stayed low. "Aaron. I understand if you want to send me back out. But please, let me have a chance." I moved slowly, like I was in a dream. I hugged him tight, feeling the tears choke me. "Dad." I whispered, my voice clogged with tears. I could feel his chest hitching with sobs as he hugged me tight. When we broke apart, I introduced him to Daniel, for real this time. "Nice to meet you." My father whispered, shaking Daniel's big dark hand. When the handshake stopped, he backed away. "You two should dance. Your mother and I danced to this song at our wedding. I thought that you two should get the chance." He watched as Daniel and I danced, and the happy tears streamed down my cheeks. Maybe things were really going to turn out alright. --------DANIEL-------- Everything was over. We were back in our apartment, to have our 'pre-wedding night'. But first we had to walk Noel. We stripped out of the tuxes and hung them on hangers, to be dry-cleaned the next day. We walked in the most comfortable of silences. We were both perfectly happy, we just had nothing to say. When we got to the nearby pocket-park, we were alone, and we held hands. When we got back to the apartment, I kissed him, getting ready to go to the bedroom. "Wait a minute." He whispered. He pulled out my laptop and looked up a youtube video of the song we had danced to at the party. He smiled up at me as the first notes came out of the speakers. We were in pajama pants and t-shirts. I held out my arm. "May I have the honor of this dance?" I asked quietly. He came up and folded one hand in mine, the other around my waist. We spun ever-so-slowly as his favorite song, our song, came from the laptop speakers. We didn't say anything, because we didn't need to. I kissed him tenderly on the top of the head, and we danced, because the night was ours, and we were in love. THE END *Hope you liked it! Keep an eye out for my Nude Day submission, 'The Goats!'*