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Not a Date

By: MJRoberts



ALL CHARACTERS IN SEXUAL SITUATIONS ARE OVER 18.

Characters are fictional.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Copyright © belongs to MJ Roberts, 2014. All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce without permission from the author. 

Also, thanks to all the readers who have reached out and become friends. And thanks for all those who have sent compliments, that means a lot.

Enjoy!

MJ

 

Not a Date Ch. 02



ALL CHARACTERS IN SEXUAL SITUATIONS ARE OVER 18.

Characters are fictional.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Copyright © belongs to MJ Roberts, 2014. All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce without permission from the author. 

Enjoy!

MJ

*


Early morning Saturday, sunlight streamed through my blinds. With my brain still foggy about what I may or may not have done with my boss, I reached over into an empty spot that was still warm.

I was alone. I jerked awake.

I vaguely remembered Ryan leaning over me and saying, "I have a really busy day and I need to get an early start. I'll see you at work on Monday."

"Mmn..nnnn..." I had said.

Crap.

I think I hate waking up to an empty spot when I expect a big, strong body to be there. And, even in sleep, I had expected that when I woke up, he'd still be there.

My mind went back to our sex session on the rug.

Holy heart failure, Batman!

I actually put my hand over my heart as my morning wood bounced a little, remembering.

Daaaaammmmnnnnn.

I looked over at the space in bed next to me.

Fuck.

I didn't even have his phone number.

But surely he had mine. He had access to personnel records. He would call. He had a busy weekend. I had a nothing-planned weekend. The weekend dragged on. To say it went at a snail's pace would be giving credit to the snail. I cleaned my place. I caught up on my bills. I stewed.

Last week I had asked him to go out with me on Friday, on a non-date. I felt pretty sure of who I was Friday afternoon and where we left things late Friday night but as the weekend wore on I ended up doubting myself. 

Friday night seemed like the start of something really special. I mean after watching him for three years at work, I could tell you Ryan was mild-mannered, classy, well-spoken. He was always so...reserved. I guess Ryan seemed like a play-it-safe, adult, serious, step-by-step slow and steady kind of guy.

But then last night. Wow! Showing up in the tuxedo? Handing me that single white rose. The way he held my hand when we walked home. The way he kissed me at the door, like he really wanted me but he wasn't sure where I stood.

The man was romance on a stick. (So to speak.)

Then, when I yanked him in (so to speak), gone was the slow and steady guy. Instead, holy fireballs. Talk about going zero to sixty, zero to six thousand, zero to six million, in 6.6 seconds. Whoosh.

Daaaammmmnnnn.

And that tattoo. Who would have guessed that?

He was... even more male than I expected. 

I was sure it was lust AND romance. I mean, that kind of connection? Gotta be.

But as the weekend wore on, I wondered. Maybe love 'em and leave 'em was his thing.

Even then it would have been worth it.

Fuck he was hot.

Never in my life have I so looked forward to a Monday morning.

*

"Helllllooooo Monday!" I said out loud to myself and jumped out of bed. I showered with record speed, dressed with care, didn't even need coffee (but had some anyway). I mean who was I kidding, like I was going to make it through a day without coffee. 

I considered rubbing one off before going to work so I didn't seem so eager. It sounded like a good idea but it also just seemed so nasty. I mean I was dreaming of tracing down that amazing back tattoo down to that incredible ass with my fingers, my tongue, hell even the tip of my dick. Oh yeah. Sigh. Still it didn't seem right, just because I was a horn-dog didn't mean I wasn't feeling some budding blooms of romance and whacking off to a guy you had one non-date with no matter how hot he was was hardly classy.

My mind went to war with myself over the issue for a few minutes but I ended up just splashing cold water on my face. Really, REALLY cold water, and going to work early. So I'd seem eager, sue me.

I got to work. No Ryan. Nine a.m. rolled around. Still no Ryan. Don't panic, Jake, I told myself. Maybe he has a meeting off-site or something. It's not like he's not going to show up for work. I practiced deep breathing exercises while I focused on my computer. Promised myself I would take up yoga.

Ryan sauntered in late. The fucker.

"Morning, Boss," I said politely, ducking my head to hide my smile.

"Cortman," he said curtly not even giving me the courtesy of turning in my direction or a cursory look.

He'd never called me by last name before.

Fuck. That didn't bode well.

He went into his office. Came back out. Dropped a huge stack of papers on my desk with a loud thud. "Cortman, you've got a lot of work to do," he didn't exactly sound happy. "I expect to see some progress."

What the fuck? 

I looked down at the pile. My body resonated with tension. Had he been playing me? No. Noooo. I didn't think so. So what was up with this? 

It took a lot of willpower to focus on work. I looked up at Ryan a lot. Glancing at him through the glass walls of his office. He was on the phone gesturing angrily and pacing back and forth for quite a while. At about 10:30 he closed all the blinds on the windows. Then I couldn't even look at him anymore. Whatever. Fuck him.

Lunchtime came around and he opened his door.

"Cortman!" he bellowed. I stood up fast. "Can I see you in my office?"

I hustled in there.

"Close the door." His voice was serious.

I closed the door behind me. I took two steps toward him.

His next stage whisper was like a yell and it rushed over me with the force of a hurricane. "On your knees, bitch."

Faster than I could think my knees hinged of their own accord, bending forward, dropping me to the floor hard.

He stalked over.

Looking at me like I was prey.

But we he got to me he smiled, hugely. It was like being lit up by the sun. 

He gently palmed my head and placed it against his hip. His hands stroked my hair; he massaged my scalp.

Oh my God. I melt against him.

Suddenly everything is right, and so right there, so vivid, so...immediate.

"Hi, baby," he says in a warm voice. He rubs my shoulders. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. 

"Fuck, I was worried," I whisper.

"After Friday? Really?" he whispers back.

I nod against him. 

"How was your weekend?" Ryan asks me.

 You're asking me how my fucking weekend was? 

"Good," I say automatically. Pause for a beat. "Sucky. I was obsessing over this hot guy and he didn't call me."

Ryan laughs, a velvet, chocolaty sound that warms me down to my toes. He strokes my hair again.

"I didn't have your number."

"Thought you might get it from the personnel files."

"I thought about it but then I was called down to Jacksonville at the last minute."

"When I didn't hear from you..." I can't stop myself from talking, like some other part of my brain has taken over; jeez, I'm gonna sound like a fucking pussy. "Are you seeing anyone else?"

He speared his fingers into my hair, made a fist, grabbed, and yanked my head back hard until I was looking up at him.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

That was surely heard outside his office.

He went back to whispering. Tightened his grip on my hair harder, crouched down a little bit. "After Friday night you can even ask that?"

"I was just--"

"I think you should know me better than--"

"And that wasn't a no," I said.

"Yeah. That was no," he said.

I smiled up at him. He released me.

"Asshole," he said, but he smiled when he said it. 

"I was pretty sure, I just wanted to be--"

"Shut up."

"Make me. Give me something to stick in my mouth." I turned my head so it was facing his crotch and breathed out a large push of hot air. 

"Don't tempt me." He soothed my hair, went back to massaging my neck. 

We were silent again for a moment. I felt completely content. I shouldn't have teased him like that.

"I've known you for a while but I still don't know much about what you do outside of work," Ryan said. "What are your hobbies?"

 Hobbies? I'm kneeling at your feet and you fucking want to talk about hobbies? 

"Fantasizing about guys with Celtic tattoos. Obsessing about hot bosses. Resisting pleasuring myself over tuxedoed--"

"Yeah, yeah, enough, you'll inflate my ego," Ryan said.

"I can think of something else I'd rather inflate," I breathed on him again. I liked teasing him.

He chuckled.

"Nice," he said. "But not what I had in mind for today's lunch menu."

"Your other hobbies," he said.

"I still play soccer."

"Must be what keeps you in such great shape."

"Not as good a shape as you," I whispered.

We were silent for a second. I let my fingers glide over the fabric on this thigh.

Ryan offered me a hand up. He took me in his arms. Then he held the back of my head, tilted it at just the right angle, kissed me. Softly at first, then with more intensity. He brushed his lips against my ear. "I missed you," he whispers.

 Not as much as I missed you,  I thought.

He let go of me and patted the edge of his desk. "Hop up."

 What? 

I follow directions.

He pulls my legs apart. Steps between them. Caresses my jaw. Smiles at me like a kid in a candy store. Kisses me again. Fuck, he's a great kisser. He unbuckles my pants.

 WHAT?

He is not really thinking about having sex at the office is he?

Ryan pulls my zipper down.

Holy shit.

He is definitely thinking about having sex at the office. My eyes dart over his shoulder to the door. He didn't lock it, did he?

"Lift your hips up," he whispers. His voice is harsh, commanding, hot.

I shook my head. Not a no really, just an automatic response.

"Oh yeah," he says.

I lift my hips. He pulls my pants and underwear down, grazes his teeth down my inner thigh. Takes off my shoes and socks. Throws everything aside.

Kisses his way back up.

My heart is pounding. I'm hard. It's partially from fear.

He smiles that wicked, I'm-in-control smile at me again.

"You're enjoying this," I hiss.

"Nahhhhh," he answers.

Rat bastard.

Then my cock is in his mouth. For like a split second. Almost before I can register it, he stops.

Fucking Joker-Penguin-Riddler lovin' rat bastard.

My heart is in my throat and I'm breathing hard. I look over at the door. I'm sure he didn't lock it.

"Lock the door," I whisper.

"No."

He yanks me forward a little, palms my ass, giving it a quick caress then brushes a finger near my entrance.

Panic surges through me like a lightning bolt and my eyes bulge wide.

"Ryan!" My whisper is loud. 

He cocks an eyebrow up at me.

"I've never..."

Jeez, I can't even fucking say it.

"Bottomed. I was always the taker." I don't know where this is coming from. Again it's like aliens have taken over my brain and are speaking out of my mouth. Yeah, I'm a guys' guy, and I don't always bottom, but Ryan had me that way on Friday for Christ's sake but for some reason it came out of my mouth like I was a virgin. What the fuck? 

Ryan looks like I set a match to him.

He fists my hair again. Leans in until we are nose to nose. His stare is intense. 

"But, for me, you're going to do whatever I want, aren't you?" There's barely any tone to the whisper. The words come out on a rasp. Savage.

I want to nod but he's got too tight a grip on my hair.

"No," I say. But it is clear from my tone and expression that I mean yes.

He chuckles that warm laughing sound again. Caresses me with his thumb circling my entrance. Spikes my adrenaline. 

"Tell me what I'm going to do."

"Put me on bottom," I say very quietly.

He shakes his head. "Say it the way I'm going to do it."

Words fail me.

Ryan caresses my balls. He bends forward until his lips are at my ear. "I'm going to pound my cock into you until you can feel me up in your throat. Drive in and out into that beautiful tight hole until you beg for mercy."

I wanted to beg for mercy now. But excitement wins out over fear. 

I look over Ryan's shoulder at the closed, unlocked door again. Anyone could come in at any moment.

"We could get fired," I whisper.

Huge wolf smile from Ryan.

"Yup."

He takes a tiny bottle of lube, a condom, a handkerchief, a washcloth, out of his pocket.

Holy shit, he  planned  for this.

I close my eyes and practice zen breathing and zen thoughts. Very slow deep breaths. I feel the lube, I hear the condom rip. I work very, very hard at slowing my heartbeat. 

Ryan throws my legs up onto him and takes one arm and belts it across my thighs like a steel band.

"Jaaaakkkkeee..." he whispers softly.

"Mmn," I say.

"Brace," he says.

Then one big hand clamps down, hard, over my mouth, and he plunges in hard, opening my body and soul impossibly wide as he buries himself to the hilt.

My eyes widen and I scream soundlessly behind his hand.

He waits for me to adjust.

I bite him.

"Bad," he says with both a smile and a reprimand in his voice. "Bad boy, Jake. No."

I bite him again.

He pulls all the way out and hovers, almost punishing. Then he plunges back in again. Slowly withdraws, slowly pushes in. Then he's off and running, pounding mercilessly and I'm glad he has a hand over my mouth because I don't know what I would do if he didn't.

He bends his knees slightly, changing the angle. Even though he's wearing all his clothes, I see him in my mind without a shirt on, his chest glistening, that fabulous back ink expanding with each thrust, and it's like he's getting wilder and wilder as he moves. His nostrils flare. 

My head falls back as my neck seems not to work anymore but he cranks down hard on my mouth and uses his hand on my face like a lever to force my gaze back on him. 

"Look. At. Me."

Got it boss.

I can't believe it's possible, but he pounds harder. Holds my face harder. I wonder if that's going to bruise. I look down at his hand and he releases my face, which is good because now I need to pant just to breathe.

Ryan uses his newly freed hand to grab my cock.

Oh, fuck.

I bite my lip to keep from crying out.

He's making a soft growling noise deep in his throat, his lips are peeled back from gritted teeth and he looks like some growing wild animal. A dragon.

And still he strokes me, matching his thrusts with his hand.

My palms slip.

Doesn't stop him; he just leans into me harder.

I shake my head. I can't hold it any longer.

"Together," he demands. "One. More. Second."

Something in my brain fries; I'm not sure I understand the words.

Then he's got the handkerchief over me and I explode. I feel him come in me a second later. My body thunks back on the desk, making a loud noise. I hit my head on a stapler but I don't care. I hit my head on it again and it releases a bunch of staples and jams.

He pulls out. I stifle a groan at the weird sensation of going from so full to not at that angle. Then he's dressing me, moving me around like I'm some limp doll, but I'm staring at the drop panel ceiling still trying to figure out basic functions like blinking while he's putting on my shoes.

Ryan stands me up; my knees wobble and go to jelly and he has to stabilize me a second before they hold. He walks me over to the door and it seems like he's about to usher me through it.

My body comes on-line enough for my hand to shoot out and press a palm flat to the door before he opens it. 

"For the love of God, Ryan," I whisper. "Give me a second."

I look at him and he has a 'yeah, I am totally the man' look on his face.

"You're not all that."

That breaks his face into an even wider smile.

"Hey, office sex would be a turn-on for anybody. That's the only thing that makes it exciting," I whisper. "You," I say. I put my hand out parallel to the floor and wiggle it in a so-so gesture. "Enh."

He laughs, puts his mouth to my ear. "Yeah, Pretty Boy. Whatever you say."

"Your technique needs work." Ryan clamps the very top part of my ear between his teeth lightly. I ignore the shiver that runs down my spine.

"Maybe you should watch a Youtube instructional video or something."

He bites down a lot harder.

I elbow him a quick one in the ribs before he draws blood. "Let go, Asshat."

Ryan laughs and muscles me out of the way and opens the door. He pushes me out with a little shove and I stumble forward toward my desk.

"I expect better from you, Cortman," he says behind me in and I hear the door close. Not exactly a slam, but close. 

Holy fucking Mary mother of God.

And then some.

I sat back down and stared at the papers in front of me and the words swam. The world was still thundering in my ears; it was taking all my willpower to try and calm down. I stared at the same pages, doing nothing. I cupped my hand around my forehead as if I was deep in concentration when really I was in a stupor. All I could see was a repeat of everything, I-Max-movie-plus style times 1,000 on a channel called 'technicolor multi-sensory holy shit' but even more so: The pulse in Ryan's throat, the feel of the tip of his cock up against me, my glib comments, and oh my God, the smells. I spent a lot of time in the men's room wondering if the drop from incredible euphoria to trying to pretend to be normal was going to make me throw up.

I would have asked to go home but my boss would have known exactly what was wrong with me. To hell if I was going to let Ryan fuck me into fucking off. 

Not that I was being very productive at my desk. It was hours before my heart rate came down from stroke level. I wasn't sure if this was just one aberration, a long weekend with moments from Fantasyland, never to be a real relationship or not. Whether it was or it wasn't, I was going to have to start doing more cardio, I couldn't be in as good a shape as I thought if it was three o'clock and I was still feeling like a doctor's visit was in order.

Now, I'm a watch whatever cartoon is on, roll with the punches kind of guy. But my brain was so happy there was no way I could even figure out what channel this thing with Ryan and me should even be on. (Well, obviously a triple X channel, but...)

Ryan, the super quiet, amazingly talented, totally conservative looking, proper-speaking architect guy.

And this.

The holy thermonuclear explosion.

Yowsa.

Ryan finally came out of his office. Strolled over and leaned on my desk, with all the casualness of any laid-back boss in the world. Picked up the pile of stuff I was supposed to be making progress on, but because of my flummoxed state, hadn't made any changes to.

"Good work, Cortman," Ryan said. "Keep  it  up."

Double entendre much? I coughed into my hand.

I looked up and I thought there was a smirk there and a twinkle in his eye. He surreptitiously dropped a folded note on my desk. I peeked a glance at it. 'Dinner. My place. Eight o'clock. Stay the night.'

"Definitely keep it up," he said as he walked away.

Asshat.

*

 Dear Reader,

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Thanks, sincerely;

MJ



Not a Date Ch. 03



 This is a copyrighted work of fiction. Do not reproduce without permission from the author. Thanks. 

Not A Date

Monday night Ryan cooked. He made spaghetti sauce from scratch and homemade meatballs and put it over pasta he gave a fancy Italian name but just looked like little spirals to me. We watched an old black and white foreign film which didn't make my top ten list because nothing blew up. He acted like it we were just two dudes hanging out, and other than me teasing him with one quiet ribbing of, "Yeah, I know, I wore you out at lunch," and later the quip, "You gave at the office," I didn't push him.

We both slept on our right sides, and we spooned up together in bed, with his hips snuggled firmly against my ass and his tight abs a warm heating pad against my back. I didn't think I'd be able to sleep with the bastion of male hotness literally radiating heat behind me but he threw one heavy arm around my waist and within seconds I was sleeping the sleep of the dead. 

I woke up with a sense of deja vu. Warm spot behind me, no Ryan.

"Fuck," I said sitting up. There was a yellow post-it note by the bedside table. 'You looked too handsome to wake. I hit the gym. Let yourself out. See you at work. - R.'

I smelled coffee. Really good coffee. Which is the only reason I wasn't totally pissed as I crumpled the note in my hand. "I'm going to have to teach that asshat some—" I looked at the clock. Fuck. I had about ten minutes before I was going to be late. 

FUCK.

I jumped up and ran down to the kitchen. I poured myself a cup of coffee and stood drinking it, naked, while I realized that I had slept so long I didn't have time to go home for a change of clothes. I'd have to go back to the office in the exact same outfit I wore yesterday. Shit. Wouldn't that send tongues a waggin'? I looked up at the ceiling and thought of Ryan's closet. Surely he had something I could wear. He wouldn't mind would he?

I didn't have much time to debate how he might feel about me raiding his closet. I ran back upstairs. I decided to go commando. Ryan was bigger than me, and he had a lot more, well, everything. Too much firm round ass for off the rack shit, I was betting big man had his crap tailored. I listened to the soft krkchk-krckchk sound as I frantically pushed hangers around on the pole. His pants were not going to fit me unless I borrowed a pair of sweats. I looked at my own pants in a heap by the bed. They were black, plain, nothing distinctive. They would do. Shirts.

I realized Ryan was broad in the shoulder, how great his chest was, but it wasn't until I was looking at his shirts that I really got a feel for what being that size would be like. I was in good shape, but I'm built like a normal guy, not some Adonis body builder. I didn't want to go into the office wearing something where the seams where halfway down my shoulders.

I found a fancy dress shirt in a soft material. I didn't know what the hell it was, like a combination between silk and velvet or something. It was off-white, it had the very slightest coral-pink-tan tint to it. I bet it was skin-tight and obscene on Ryan, but it would be loose, but still fit and be dressy enough on me. 

I didn't have many other options. I'd wasted too much time deciding. I got dressed and raced to work. Belatedly I had the thought the shirt probably cost as much as my first bike. Then I thought fuck it, if Ryan likes it, it would be worth it. Then I thought I was thinking too much.

I was late. Ryan's door and blinds were closed. 

Around lunchtime there was a staff meeting. Both Ryan and this woman from accounting looked at me and simultaneously said, "Nice shirt." The woman's delivery was flirtatious; Ryan's was dry.

 Yeah? Take it off me.  I thought, while giving him a very quick, subtle, challenging raise of the eyebrows nobody else saw.

I missed most of the meeting. Okay, all of the meeting. I arranged my face into what I hope was a very definite I-am-paying-close-attention expression and floated back to dream land. Sleeping next to Ryan had been nice. Very nice. I had felt his warm breath on the back of my neck and heard his soft breathing and felt so secure and then... boom... out like a light. I could definitely get used to that.

But gay guys tend to fall into to categories: travel toothbrush and full bathroom drawer. I didn't know which one Ryan fell into. I darted a discreet glance his way. A guy with his looks could get a lot of miles out of his travel toothbrush.

The meeting ended, and for a second I worried that I might have missed something important. Then I reminded myself that most meetings were waste of time bullshit. Everyone filled out and milled about, leaving in different directions. I heard one guy mumble as he walked away, "Not my ideal vision of how I wanted to spend my lunch time."

"Me neither," I whispered to myself. "I can think of other things..." I must have said it with more vehemence than I realized because I heard Ryan's warm laugh behind me.

He gave me a quick clasp on the shoulder and then released me. 

"Nah, boss," I said. "That was actually the best office lunch time I've ever had."

Ryan squinted his eyes at me. Menacing.

"I had better get back to work," I said, feeling like a teenager and carefully holding back a goofy smile.

"Yes, you'd better," Ryan said.

I worked hard on getting the advertising perfect for a few new accounts. I tried to think of subtle ways to flirt with Ryan, but there weren't any opportunities. He left early afternoon to go somewhere and didn't return to the office.

Hell. I still  didn't have his number.

Tuesday was extremely busy. Ryan ignored me. I wound up tighter as the day went on. I don't know what I wanted from Ryan, but I wasn't getting it. I was feeling needy, tense. It wasn't horny exactly, although God, did I want him. It was something else. I don't know what exactly.

More practicing of the deep breathing.

Wednesday morning I couldn't decide whether to dress with extra care or to fuck it. I decided on fuck it.

"Morning Jake," Ryan said as he walked past me.

"Yo," I said. That got a smile. Not what I intended, but again, what the fuck. I reminded myself that one non-date, one peel-the-paint-off hotter-than-hell office sex session, and one spaghetti dinner with a sleepover didn't necessarily mean we were dating. Fucking yes, dating no.

I looked up at his door when it closed.

But I wanted to be dating. I bit the inside of my cheek. I had to find some way... I tapped my pencil, fast and repetitively against the edge of my desk. I often did that when I'd put together a deal or new copy. I should think about my situation from an advertising stand point. Sell the sizzle, not the steak. Maybe I didn't want dating. Maybe part of me wanted something a hell of a lot more than the word dating implied. 

I was biting my pencil when Ryan came out. He just cocked one eyebrow up at me and kept going.

Well fuck. So much for smooth.

I had broken two pencils by the time Ryan got back, but I had a plan.

Little did I know, Ryan had a plan of his own.

"Cortman! My office!"

"Yes, Sir," I said and walked in. He shut and locked the door behind me. A locked door. I liked that.

He opened his arms, and I walked into them. Aaaah. "Hi, baby," he whispered in my ear.

"You turn me into a babbling idiot," I said.

"Nah," he said. "You were like that before."

I smiled at him. I brushed my lips against his ear. "How was work this morning?"

"A fucking nightmare," Ryan said. "Fortunately I have plans for a magnificent lunch."

"Nuh-uh," I said. "No more sordid office sex for you until I get a raise."

"I could give you a rise," Ryan said. He brushed the back of his hand against my thigh. "But that's not what I had in mind."

Ryan went behind his desk and lifted up a picnic basket.

"Where did that come from?" I asked.

"While someone was getting his beauty sleep, I was planning on plying you with the perfect lunch."

My heart leapt into my throat. It was too soon to fall for this guy.

"Come on," he said. He led me over to the side of his office, and we sat down on the floor. He opened the picnic basket and began taking out containers. He found what he was looking for. He loaded something onto a pita chip and held it out to me.

"I made this," he said.

"What is it?"

"Seafood salad."

I took a bite. "Oh my God, Ryan, this is delicious."

He was smart, funny, sexy, talented—and he could cook. I pinched him on the bicep.

"What was that for?"

"Just checking," I said.

He fed me more of that wonderful concoction. 

Ryan brushed hair out of my face, caressed my cheek, stared into my eyes like I was the only guy on the planet. 

"See," he said. "All the awful disasters of this morning are washed away. You're my own little oasis, Jake."

"I think it's the seafood salad that's the oasis."

Ryan took out a small bottle of sparkling apple cider and two plastic champagne glasses. He poured us drinks, and while I was sipping mine, he said, "We kind of put the cart before the horse, you know, with how I sort of lost control and went all 'hey I'm the fast and the furious' from the very beginning of our non-date."

I tried hard to arrange my expression so it looked like I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, although obviously I did.

"So I was hoping a little romance would make up for that."

He took out some chocolate-covered strawberries and fed them to me, very slowly, holding each one up with an exaggerated sensuality that hovered right between extremely romantic and comical.

"Mmmn," I said. "It makes up for it. So now we can have office sex?"

"No."

He finished off the last of the strawberries, and I watched him lick his fingers.

I'd known Ryan for three years. We'd had hundreds of conversations about work. While we'd never hung out outside of work before this week, when you work with someone you learn some things about him. I gathered those bits of knowledge around me like a security blanket. It wasn't nearly enough.

"Ryan, what do I really know about you?"

"You know I'm good in bed."

"Actually, I've never sampled your charms in a bed."

His voice dropped much lower. "That could be remedied."

Yowsa.

He leaned in toward me until we were almost nose-to-nose. "As a matter of fact, I can absolutely guarantee you that will be remedied. In short order."

"Enh," I said. "And if you're not up to snuff I can throw you back?"

He raised one questioning eyebrow at me.

I couldn't keep a straight face. "Just because you can do it on the floor and on a desk doesn't mean your skills will translate."

"Well maybe someday you'll get lucky, and you can find out." He started packing up the remains of the picnic. 

Ryan finished cleaning up, and he gave me a wonderfully sweet kiss. "Will you come camping with me this weekend, baby?"

"Camping?" Yikes.

"Yeah. I have this really beautiful spot where I like to hike and camp, and I'd like to show it to you. I could bring all my gear, and we could make a weekend out of it."

Double yikes. "You know, Ryan, mankind has spent thousands of years developing creature comforts indoors to get  away  from camping." 

He made a sour face.

"Sure thing, hot stuff. I'd love to." 

"Great," Ryan said. "I have to fly to Seattle tonight. Don't get me started on the craziness the company wants for that job, but I should be back late tomorrow or early Friday. The weather's supposed to be good; we can leave right after work."

I did a mental sigh. Camping. "Do I get to bring my iPad so we can watch scary movies and porno?"

He rolled his eyes. "Back to work, slave boy."

"Fine, fine," I said. I knew when I was being dismissed. At least I had Friday to look forward to. "So it's a non-date, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, Cortman, of course, right. It's a work order."

*

Friday I brought a change of clothes to work. I found that I was kind of excited by the idea of camping. I'd been camping once with the Boy Scouts and hated it, but Ryan was no Boy Scout.

We drove almost two hours north. Pretty soon we traded Ryan's jeep for a gentle slope at the base of a mountain. The gentle start seemed good, but I could see it would get steep quickly. 

Ryan had on a huge hiker's pack that extended way above his head to just the top of his ass. Much bigger than my little school-like backpack that just held essentials like change of clothes and lube. 

We walked side-by-side for a while. Ryan pointed out different types of trees and flowers. Taking in the sights and smells of the lush forest and walking on the increasingly uneven ground was relaxing and invigorating at the same time.

We stopped when we saw a doe and two baby deer walk across the path only a few feet in front of us.

After a while we fell into an easy silence, and I tried to remember every bit of information I'd gathered about Ryan over the last three years. His grandparents had worked in a bakery. He was really close to his dad. He grew up in a mining town but moved to Boston when he was sixteen. 

He was an amazing joke teller. I was pretty good with the witty comebacks, but I couldn't tell jokes for shit. At last year's Christmas party Ryan was cracking a small group of us up. I was a little drunk, but I remembered one joke I particularly liked. Was it about an agnostic? How did it go? 

I started laughing.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"That joke."

"Which one?"

"You know, about the agnostic and the insomniac."

"Oh, that one."

"How does that go?"

Ryan sighed. 

"Come on, tell me again."

Ryan made a disgusted sound. "We're in the middle of nature's most beautiful bounty, and you want me to tell you agnostic jokes?"

"Please, please, pretty, please," I said, sounding like a five-year-old on purpose.

Ryan arranged his posture and expression in a way I could never do. "What do you get when cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?"

"I don't know, what?"

"Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog."

I cracked up.

"It's not that funny."

"It is when you tell it."

He shook his head and turned around and started hiking again.

We talked about Ryan's experiences hiking different parts of the country, how he always wanted to draw, how I always thought I would write a movie script, and this year's Oscar winners and nominees.

"What's your favorite movie?" he asked me.

"It's a toss up between Back to the Future and Resident Evil."

Ryan stopped and turned around. He cocked one eyebrow and mouthed 'Resident Evil'. Then he grimaced. He turned back around.

"There's also Die Hard," I said. "That's a classic."

He stopped. Just stood there for a second, continued on.

"The Matrix, that's one of my favorites, the first Blade is great, and the Spiderman movies of course, and ahh... let's see Anchorman, Talladega Nights, Dumb and Dumber—"

"Okay, okay, Jake, I get it. I think I've got the idea now," Ryan said. "If there's a chase, explosion, or scatological humor, you're good."

"Yup. That about sums it up. What about you?"

"Amélie." 

I racked my brain to figure out what the hell he was talking about. "Isn't that a French film about some girl on a bicycle?"

"That's the one."

I remembered an insurance commercial where the woman said, 'I unfriend you.' "Did the bicycle hit a land mine and explode?"

He sighed.

"Nope. Didn't see it," I said.

We walked for another 45 minutes. I was beginning to think wherever we were going, it was too far for me. Then trail got much steeper. The good thing about this was that I got to stare at Ryan's gorgeous ass. Those beautiful firm cheeks in his short blue shorts were very close to my eye level. The bad news was I was getting winded. Time for some stalling.

"You know, it's too bad your ass is so flat. If you came to the gym with me I could give you some pointers."

He looked over his shoulder at me and raised an eyebrow but didn't stop.

"Some lunges, squats. Give you some roundness, fill you out a little."

He snorted. "Wise ass."

"Wise-judging-ass."

I reached out and felt his tush below the pack. "I could grade you on your improvement. Just so you know you're making appropriate gains."

Now he stopped.

"Listen, if you need a break, just say so. We're almost there. If you want, I could carry you."

"Just trying to help you out, bud."

He snorted again and turned back around.

I smiled at his backside and took a deep breath. Now I had a second wind. I might not be able to tell a joke like Ryan could, but he wasn't the only one with a sense of humor.

We walked another 100 yards and then crested a hill to face the most breathtaking vista I ever saw. 

"Wow, Ryan."

"Yeah," he said.

"Wow," I said again.

He put his pack down. I don't know what I expected but this beautiful lake in a crater with the snow-capped mountains from the shore on the far side reflected on the mirror-like surface wasn't it. I looked down at the bed of moss I was standing on, and the huge trees around us, and the field of wild flowers to our left. My mouth hung open like an old-fashioned Christmas soldier nutcracker waiting for the world's largest nut. 

Ryan took in my expression and laughed.

"Yeah. That was the expression I was looking for. Man might have been improving indoors for a thousand years, but he's been searching for perfect ways to escape it for a thousand more."

I looked around, trying to take in everything.

"Listen," Ryan said.

I expected silence but there was a cacophony of sound.

"What's that ka-hik-it?"

"Tree frogs."

I could hear frogs, birds, squirrels fighting or mating, small animals scampering, and rustling of leaves. The sounds of hundreds of things vibrant with life.

A cool wind blew off the lake.

Ryan put his arm around me.

"Thanks, Ry," I said.

He gently kissed my cheek. "My pleasure. I found this place about eight years ago. I never brought anyone here before."

"It's fantastic," I said. "Let's inaugurate it." I wiggled my eyebrows lewdly. 

Ryan shook his head. "Let me set up the tent and the hammock."

"Hammock?"

He sent me a smile so blinding it made all the scenery disappear.

Ryan unpacked his gear. It was amazing how much stuff he could fit in that large backpack.

"You need any help with the tent?" I asked.

"No. It's an easy pop-up."

I watched his efficient movements as he pitched the tent and hung the hammock between two trees. He took off his shirt and used it to wipe his face. I felt a lump in my throat at the sight of him.

Ryan walked to the edge of the lake and stared out. I came up behind him and used my tongue to trace the long sickle-like slashes of black on his back tattoo. He made a soft "mmn" sound. I wrapped my arms around his waist. I grazed my teeth lightly on his shoulder.

"Ryan," I said softly. Oh God. "Please be my guy."

He took one of my hands, put his hand over it, and slid it up over his heart. He looked over his shoulder at me. "I thought I already was."

I shook my head against his shoulder.

"What? You think I have office sex with everybody?"

I shrugged against him.

"No," Ryan said. "Just the annoying ones."

I shrugged again.

He turned around in my arms. "Just in case it wasn't clear. Yes, I'm your guy. You're my guy. I'm not having office sex with anybody else. Or any other kind of sex." He kissed the back of my hand and then turned it over and kissed my palm. "I don't want to have sex with anyone else." Ryan softly bit the tip of my forefinger. "Only you."

Holy shit.

I slid my hand to the back of his neck. I kissed him, and as my tongue danced with his, I hoped he could feel not only my passion but my gratitude. 

I pulled him toward the tent. He resisted and pulled me to the hammock.




Not a Date Ch. 03



"Ry, you can't have sex on a hammock."

He raised an eyebrow and gave me an expression I interpreted to mean, 'Wanna bet?'

"Who said anything about sex?" Ryan said.

"I did," I said.

Ryan chuckled. He got on the hammock and stretched out on his back. He put his hands behind his head. I climbed on next to him. I laid on my side, cushioned my head against his bicep, and threw one leg over both of his. 

"Just because you found the most romantic spot in the world doesn't mean you're all that," I said as I caressed the flat planes of muscle on his chest and zeroed in on one nipple. "You're just a tiny little minnow," I said as I teased that nipple up until it puckered up like a stone raspberry. I scooted down his body and flicked his other nipple with my tongue. "That's a big lake right there, I could always throw you back."

Ryan clambered on top of me, rocking the hammock violently, smothering me with his chest while grinding his hips.

"Hey, Ryan, you can't do that—"

He rolled us, and I was caught up in the fabric for a second before I felt the cool breeze whooshing by my side as we were airborne. THUMP.

"—we're on a hammock. Or were."

Ryan landed flat on his back on a bed of moss and I landed on top of him. I kissed his neck. "Finally, I get to be on top." 

"Oh no," he said.

"Yes," I said.

He tried to push up, but I held him down. He wiggled out from under me and headed to the shoreline. "Come on, let's jump in for a quick dip in the lake."

I tackled him around the waist and pulled him back. "Ry, it's almost sunset. That water will be freezing. I'll shrivel up like a little thumb, and then I'll have to make a lame excuse like I'm a grower, not a shower, to keep you interested."

"Wuss."

"We can go swimming tomorrow," I said.

I held him to me, his back to my front, one hand around that trim waist, one hand on his heart, much like I did earlier. I kissed and nipped my teeth along the top of his tattoo, his shoulder, his neck. I fitted the front of my hips into his ass. 

We watched as the sun painted the sky orange and magenta and some kind of loon strutted with a crazy neck-wiggling motion at the water's edge, not too far away.

I wasn't sure exactly how to say what I wanted to say, but it was important. I couldn't let him always take over, and I didn't want to be just part of who I was.

Sometimes the best way to say something is to just say it. "Ryan, I want to be inside you."

He stiffened in my arms. It was like a bow string going tight, or a wood board suddenly under held-in-place tension.

"I don't usually roll that way," he said.

"I don't usually roll the way we've been rolling. At least not on a consistent basis." 

I didn't want to push him, but I didn't want to leave it alone either. I massaged his shoulders, kissed his neck, ran my hands down that gorgeous back.

"Are you willing to try?"

He consciously loosened his muscles, tensing and relaxing each group one by one, and I thought I saw the tiniest bit of a nod.

"For you, yeah."

"Ry, it's not a deal breaker if you don't. I'm not going to dump you if you don't want to bottom."

His voice was so quiet I had to strain to hear. "I've never done it before."

He turned around to look at me. "I've always been the taker, never the taken."

His expression was way to serious. I reached around and goosed him. "Virgin ass is my favorite."

He shook his head at my antics and smiled.

It was going to be okay.

I looked over at the tent but decided against it. I pulled Ryan over to a bed of grass and encouraged him to lie down until we were side by side. I licked his collarbones, and then took one nipple in my teeth and rolled and pulled and sucked while working the other. I kissed down his body, keeping my pace slow, stroking my hands on the side of his hips in a slow easy rhythm that matched the lapping of the water onto the shore.

The sun set completely. The temperature dropped, and Ryan shivered. 

"Don't worry," I said. I had meant the words to come out sexy, but my tone sounded playful instead. "I'll keep you warm."

I slipped my tongue under the waistband of his shorts. I pulled them off, working the shorts over his erection, and set him free. I let out this puff of air, a reflection of my 'Oh God, every time is impressive, every time is as impactful as the first time' reaction.

I wrapped my hand around his cock and started pumping, slow and steady. I wanted to keep him waiting as long as possible, but that meant waiting myself—and with Ryan's cock in my hand I was anything but patient.

I slid down until I could look at his cock eye-to-eye, so to speak. 

"You're beautiful, Ryan," I said. I gingerly stuck my tongue out and touched a spot on the underside where the shaft met the head.

Ryan grabbed my hair. "Fuck, Jake." His breathing was ragged. "You're killing me. Don't make me wait. Blow me."

I stuck my tongue out again, ran it along the engorged rim of the head, retreated, and blew on the wet skin.

"Aaargh. Jake, please, do it."

I took in that hard glorious column and tightened my mouth around his cock as I sucked down deep. I slid my mouth and hand in tandem. On the upstroke I came all the way off until the top of cock made a popping sound every time it escaped my lips. I never let him out of my mouth for more than a second before I plunged right back down.

Ryan arched his back and thrust his hips into me as he groaned. I grabbed his hips, digging one hand under him to get a good grip on his ass and held him still as I opened my throat wider and set a punishing rhythm.

"JAKE!"

I smiled around his cock as I heard him yell. He satisfied me even more with his primal grunts and screams as I brought him right to the edge and then slowed down to the most languorous, snail's pace you could possibly imagine, over and over.

I was torn. I couldn't decide if I wanted to bring him to orgasm right then and let him come in my mouth—which seemed like a really good idea—or leave him hard and wanting so that later we could come together.

I took my mouth off him.

"No. God no. Don't stop. Please Jake, don't stop."

I grabbed him and flipped him on his stomach. He was okay for a second. Then I got on top of him. He struggled. I fought him, splaying his arms out on the ground above his head, then gripping him hard on the back of the neck. Still, he squirmed up against me, like he was itching to get up.

I squeezed his neck harder, and he stilled, but I could see it took effort. 

"Relax. Breathe with me, Ryan. Breathe." I slowed my breathing way down, taking huge audible inhales through my nose and exhales through my mouth. As Ryan matched his breathing to mine, his body relaxed somewhat.

I let my body go loose over his, I soothed my hands over his arms and his wrists.

"I'm going to fuck you," I whispered. He tensed up again. I let my voice express the heat I felt, and it got all raspy. I grabbed his wrists and then tightened my hold. "I am going to pound that sweet ass over, and over, and over again until you get it as good as I got." His muscles bunched up even more, his arm muscles quivering under where I had them pinned down, and not in a good way.

"But it doesn't have to be today. It doesn't have to be tomorrow, or next week. Just because I want you right now, doesn't mean that I'm not willing to wait."

I bit his neck. "I'll wait as long as it takes."

I reached under him and stroked his cock. I couldn't get much motion with my hand trapped between his body and the ground, but obviously I got enough because he groaned.

"Jake, just do it," he said. Like diving off a diving board into freezing pool. Something you'd be better off just doing without waiting and thinking about it too much.

Right. Because that's the response I wanted. Like it was doing your taxes, something to get over with as soon as possible.

I tilted him up to the side so I could get a little more freedom for my hand. Up and down, up and down. Subtle increase in speed. I traced the edge of his ear with my bottom lip.

"Please, Jake."

"Yeah," I said. "Asking is good. Begging is better."

I kissed and rubbed down his back, then up his legs, then the muscles of his ass. 

I really wanted him. But if I messed this up I might never get another chance. Fuck. Where's my sense of humor now?

I jumped up and ran to my pack and got my bottle of lube. Okay, okay, I can do this. As many times as I've been on both sides of the equation, I don't think I'd ever been with someone who hadn't. 

I paused for a second, ready to give it up. Then I looked at how gorgeous his ass was.

"Jake?"

"I'm here," I said.

He turned around and looked at me. A warm breeze came through and bathed us and I took it as a good sign.

"I want to," he said. "I just never found anyone I wanted to before." 

I looked up and said a silent prayer to whatever was up there. I used enough lube for three guys, and started telling Ryan every wonderful thing I could think about him, and there was a lot.

I gently pushed one finger into him, rotated my hand, and crooked my finger in a come hither motion. 

He groaned.

"That's it, Ry. I want to touch every part of you, know every part of you. " I spoke right into his ear. "Own every part of you, from your heart to..." I withdrew my finger and slowly put it back in, "your cock, to this amazing tight place inside you." I withdrew my finger. 

I closed my eyes and made Ryan my entire focus. His pleasure was my pleasure. Every tiny change drove him higher. Fuck, yes. I found the right spot inside him and scissored my fingers across it. 

His muscles quivered now for a totally different reason.

I reached around with my other hand and found his cock and the noise he made and the way his body jerked in reaction fed every cell in my body so they felt like they were bursting. He was bucking against me.

It was heavenly, glorious. I put a condom on, and lubed it up. I pulled Ryan up to his hands and knees and positioned myself. I paused, poised with the tip of my cock brushing against his entrance.

Ryan twisted around and looked at me. "You want me to beg Jake? Please, I'm begging you. I want you. Fuck me. If I have to beg to get you inside me, I'll beg."

I caressed his hip. I hadn't paused because I wanted him to beg me, although that was nice. I paused because I was remembering a hundred little moments where he showed his strength. I remembered him that first night, carrying me up the stairs, and him taking control and fucking me so good, but so top heavy in the office.

Suddenly it was like a great roar started in my toes and blasted its way through my whole body and out the top of my head. I pictured myself ramming into him with all my might. I held back, and it took all I had to restrain myself. I forced myself not to move. 

"Jake?" 

I pressed in to him just the tiniest bit, moving his legs a little to where I thought it would be more comfortable. 

But then I stopped.

"Jake?"

"I'm not sure this is going to be the most comfortable position for a first time," I said.

The low growl from deep in his throat sounded violent. "Just do it."

His voice was filled with need. Not, I want to get over it, but I want to get into it.

Oh, yeah.

I eased past that first hard ring of rigid muscle and was so glad for the lube and my own self-control as I slid into the tightness.

My head fell back, and I took in the darkening sky. I gave myself as second to practice all the deep breathing exercises I'd ever learned in my life before I leaned forward that last little bit to push all the way home. Then I froze to give him a minute to adjust. 

It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I found one gnarly knot on a tree, and I focused on it for all I was worth until I returned to something more human than rabid animal. I pulled out slowly, almost all the way out, and pushed in just as slowly, inch by inch, my view changing from the knot to this marvelous man in front of me who was letting me do this.

He squeezed, and my control snapped. 

I pulled and plunged into him, hard. I waited a minute, pulled out and hit him once more, slamming into him, burying myself to the hilt.

I waited again. Judging. Hoping he was okay, needing a clear response from him.

I ran one finger over the tattoo and did a little in and out.

"Oh God, Jake. Fuck yeah. Please. Oh God, don't stop."

That was it, like something let loose inside me, I hammered into him. His groaning only spurred me on. I had a moment where I could imagine what we both looked like, me fully dressed, him completely naked on all fours on bed of grass, with me relentlessly slapping up against him. 

I opened my knees slightly to change the angle. I let all the want I felt pour out through me. I swiveled my hips so with each thrust and withdraw so I dragged against his prostate. I used my stomach muscles to make my cock rotate inside him, taking note of every sweet spot. I watched as I pushed myself in and out, relentlessly driving harder and faster, my cock twitching hard against his insides.

He squeezed his muscles around me. My groans blended with his. Still, I had the urge to show him I was a man, not a man but the man. I pictured pistons and pile-drivers and I let my lower back and hips loosen as if their hinging muscles suddenly sprang free. I curled my fingers hard into his hips and ass and yanked him back to me with each plunge of the pounding.

And still, I wanted to fuck him harder. Sweat dripped down my forehead. I resisted the urge to say, 'Warm now?' 

I was too busy panting.

I increased my speed. Pressure was building up, and I could tell Ryan was about to come, but I didn't want him to yet.

I reached around and made a ring of my fingers at the bottom of his cock and squeezed.

The sound he made would stay with me forever.

I leaned forward and grabbed his hair. I yanked his head back and his eyes rolled up to look at me.

I very slowly withdrew. Slammed into him. Repeated the procedure.

"How do you like that?"

No answer. Slam. The smack of my hips up against his ass was even louder.

"Ry?" I eased in and out. I let go of his cock and his hair and put one hand on his hip and clasped one hand hard on his shoulder. I rocked into him, built to more of a crescendo, slowed way down, circled my hips again.

I pulled out all together. Backed an inch off him and stopped.

His panting was so loud I couldn't hear anything else.

"Ry?" I asked. "How does that feel?"

He was shaking his head. I wasn't sure what that meant, but then I figured out that he couldn't get any words out.

"Incredible. World bending, incredible rush."

Thank God.

"More."

His words primed my entire being all over again, and I speared myself into him.

"Ready to take it home?" I asked.

"As long as the pleasure doesn't kill me, yeah."

"It might."

If I thought I drove into him hard before, the throbbing hammering I gave him then was a slaughter. I cranked down on my hold on his shoulder and used it to slam his body back against mine as I pounded into him.

My lips curled up and away from my teeth as I grit them together to keep from coming. I felt the vein pop out at my throat, and my nostrils flared as I tried desperately to gulp in air. My balls seized up, my back bowed, and I let out a sound that was ferocious and echoed off the lake.

I shot off what felt like endless streams. My whole body went from coiled tight to exploded release, and I heard Ryan yell. Coming at the same time was erotic as hell. The thought put me into a fuzzy euphoria that lasted until I realized I was totally spent.

As in, too boneless to remain on my knees, spent.

I keeled over.

Ryan looked at me. His eyelashes were damp and looked extremely long and black. His pupils were dilated, the aqua color looking much more green than blue. His expression was set on wonder, in an 'I just saw the face of God and realized the true meaning of loss and love' look.

I put my hand out and made the so-so motion. "I don't know. Still enh."

He rolled his eyes.

"I did my part," I said. "So it must be you."

He rolled away from me, and I snuggled up behind him.

"Back up, you big egomaniac," he said. "I'm on the wet spot."

I backed up, and he did too. He snuggled his butt against me as I spooned into him.

"Are you all right?" I whispered.

"Yeah. That was... Does it feel like that to you?"

"No. When I do it to you it's bound to feel better."

"I'm in love with someone who thinks Resident Evil is high art and has the witty sensibility of a thirteen-year-old."

 In love? 

Ryan pulled my arm around him and tucked our twined hands under his chin. "I'm better than all right. I'm really good. I've never been that raw, that vulnerable with someone. But I'm okay with it; it felt amazing. It's just that it's so, so different."

"As long as you don't burst into song," I said.

He snorted.

We laid that way for a while. The evening grew colder and the stars made their debut, first one by one, and then hundreds at a time seeming to pop out at once against the dark velvet sky.

"Come on, it's getting cold," I said. I lightly slapped his hip. "I'll get a blanket or a sleeping bag or something to put over you."

He shook his head and sat up. "Nah. If you gather some kindling I'll get a fire started."

"Okay," I said. I let my smile sparkle up into my eyes. "But you got to admit, I kept you warm with just my magnetism for a while there."

"Yeah, baby," he said and kissed me. "You did." He paused. "Don't let it go to your head."

I went to the tent and found a flashlight. "Just so you know, grass doesn't count. You still haven't proven your skills translate to a bed."

He smiled his big wolf smile at me. "There's always next time."

# # #

 Dear Reader,

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MJ



Not a Date Ch. 04



This story starts right where Not A Date chapter 3 ends. You may want to read NAD 1, 2, and 3, first. Alternatively, this can read as a standalone story.

*****

POV - Ryan

I woke up before Jake. It was amazing how child-like he looked when sleeping. I stared at him, and my heart lurched. Last night had been magnificent. More than magnificent, earth-tilting. 

But truthfully, this morning, I didn't know how to take it. Switching roles with Jake, my self-image had the rug pulled out from underneath it. In the twisted alleys of my mind, I've always been the big, strong guy. In every way. And that meant being a top. Being a bottom, even once, even as good as it felt, was weird on my ego. 

What was I worried about? That my whole world would come crashing down?

Yeah. I guess that covers it.

I slid out of the double sleeping bag as quietly as I could. Jake's breathing didn't change; he didn't even twitch a muscle.

Man, that boy sleeps like the dead.

Is it because he lives life to the fullest, so when he conks out, he's really out? Nah. He's probably just a heavy sleeper, lucky bastard.

I'm just the opposite—breathe on me sideways, and I'm awake enough to chair a board meeting. Maybe it's an innate instinct to protect. Or maybe I just needed a sleep doctor. 

Although, I slept pretty soundly last night. Hell, every night Jake's been with me, come to think of it.

Freaky.

I grabbed a pair of shorts and walked out of the tent. I just stood there naked for a second, with the shorts in my hand, staring up at the mostly dark sky. 

I put the shorts on. Watched the beginning of the sunrise. Did some stretches.

For a second, my thoughts were too scrambled to make sense of anything. As if last night fundamentally changed something. Everything.

Who the hell was I?

Before last night, I would have known the answer to that right away. Now, I didn't know which way was up. Did Jake fucking me change something? Did it change everything?

I paced back and forth.

And Jake. He was funny, smart, talented, cute and holy hell in bed. Or not in bed, per se, but everywhere.

I flushed hot just thinking of it. Oh, fuck man, the sex was hot. Hottest I've ever had, hands down.

Hands everywhere.

Hands on my hips, pulling me backwards onto his cock...

I looked back at the closed flap of the tent. Looked over the lake at the rising sun.

Sigh.

And Jake. Yeah, he was all that. And more. Kind. Sweet.

Oh God, he was sweet.

Ryan, get a grip.

I could admit it to myself. I've wanted him since the first day he walked in the door three years ago. But I didn't know if he was gay. I hadn't wanted to risk an office romance if it had even a tinge of 'bad idea'. 

I can admit that every article of clothing I bought or put on, I had him in mind. I dressed to impress every single day. Specifically, there was only one person I wanted to impress.

Jake.

Fuck, I've got it bad.

Thank God he said something and asked me out. Otherwise, I probably would have been pining for him for the next three years.

I'm usually the one who makes the first move. Part of my big-man-on-campus, dominant alpha male thing, I guess. But not this time. This time, it was Jake who had the suave start. Or not so suave. I laughed as I thought of that ridiculous ruse he thought up on the spot. 

God, I love him.

I closed my eyes against the onslaught of pain that caused me.

From what I've seen, Jake's not the type of guy to really love with his whole heart like I am. He's the kind of guy to make a witty remark when it gets too close to emotional. He was a teenager in a man's body whose jocular repartee was an easy way to keep everyone at arm's length.

Yeah. I was charmed. In love. But at arm's length.

Fuck. I hate that.

I hate feeling like this. Soft. Wussy. A wave of anger washed over me. That's better.

I hit the ground and did a couple of push-ups. Then a bunch of one-arm push-ups. Much fucking better.

"Oh my God. You're working out? You crazy savage. Want me to sit on your back while you do push-ups, just to give you a bit of a challenge? Maybe I should find a tree trunk you can carry."

And there he is. That's my boy. Sarcastic before the word hello.

And naked. Very, very naked.

I popped up to standing. "Just keeping myself fit for you, lover."

He snorted. "Forget keeping fit for me. How about providing coffee for me? Need. Coffee."

"No coffee out here in the wilderness," I said.

He looked like I hit him.

"Only kidding, baby," I said.

"Grrrrrr..."

I smiled. Yeah. That's Jake. Make me smile before hello, too.

I walked over to him, pulled him into my arms, and nuzzled his neck. "Hello, baby."

"Coffee." This time, he said it with a 'me Tarzan, you monster' inflection.

I laughed.

I kissed his neck, slid a hand down to his hip. "I have to get back on top," I whispered.

"Whatever," he said. "Feed me coffee, and you can fuck me while I gulp, if you'd like."

I blinked.

"I'll have my coffee with two sugars," he said and paused, "and some Ryan cream."

"Gross."

"Yeah, but pretty funny."

The sun came all the way up, instantly making it warmer.

"I'm up now," Jake said. "I guess I could fuck before coffee."

"Always the romantic," I said. 

"You want flowers with that?" Jake asked. He bent down, picked a dandelion weed and handed it to me, wiggling his eyebrows. "Now you ready?"

I ignored him and started a fire, got water in the pot, started coffee.

I crouched down by the fire. He came and cuddled into me, as if he was going to be all mushy. I got the feeling he was going to apologize, not for being crass and wise-ass, but for being so before coffee. He gently stroked the back of my hair where it met the top of my neck.

Goosebumps broke out over my skin. Jake lightly brushed my arm, and what he meant as a casual caress caused my blood to boil and a tidal wave of lust to roar.

Growling, raw need took over. With a lunge, I turned around and tackled him.

I don't know how he did it, but Jake flipped that out-of-control switch in me every damn time.

I ground my hips against him with a primal, fast, ferocious desire to fuck him. Viciously. Violently. No condom, no lube, just savage take over.

I saw something flash in his eyes.

Fear.

I backed off.

His panting was loud.

We didn't say anything. 

It was a long second in time. Me, crouched like a predatory animal on the balls of my feet. Him, half-sitting―half-lying, with his arms propped behind him and a look of wild shock and raw vulnerability on his face.

Like he'd never seen me before.

Like he didn't know what would happen.

Like he'd been thrown overboard and was waiting to see if someone would throw him a lifesaver.

But like whatever I did, he would take it.

I stood up slowly and took off my shorts. I walked over to him, opened my legs in a firm stance and stroked my cock.

Really slowly, standing almost on top of him, I aimed my dick at him and slowly, slowly stroked as I grit my teeth and thought about what I wanted to do.

He didn't move.

His face asked a question, which I interpreted to mean 'do you want me to get up on my knees and let you come all over me?' 

But that's not what I wanted to do.

Without a word, I turned and walked away.

He followed me into the tent.

I put a condom on with one hand and picked up the bottle of lube with the other.

"GET DOWN ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" I yelled.

Oh shit. This is not how I wanted to do this. But it was like I couldn't stop.

Jake laid down, face up, still looking at me with that expression of open wonder.

I knelt down and got between his legs, lined myself up with his hole.

I squeezed my eyes shut. This was not how I wanted to do this.

"Jake," I said helplessly. My voice sounded strangled, gurgled, out of control.

"It's okay," he whispered.

I shook my head. It was not okay.

"I get it," he said.

Oh God, I love him.

I shook my head again. 

"Ry." The way he said my name, low and accepting, like he understood everything and still wanted me, just made the desperation more... desperate. "Take what you need."

Oh God.

Just the very tiniest bit, I pushed against him. He grabbed my ass and pulled me in a little.

Fuck, it was good.

"You're so tight," I whispered.

"Yeah," he whispered back. "It's the breakfast special."

I couldn't help it; I laughed. And just like that, the spell of desperation was broken. 

I slid the rest of the way in and watched his eyes roll back in his head.

"Baby," I said softly.

"Do it," he said.

In a way, we'd always fucked. It was always so intense, so blazing hot, so fast. But this time, I wanted something different. I wanted to make love to him.

Please, God, let me do this right and make love to him.

I slid in and out, slow and sinuous, sexy and loving, hopeful and vulnerable, and still—yeah—hot.

I pushed his knees up higher. I wanted to say something to him, but I didn't know what.

"Baby, you're the best thing that ever happened to me." In. Out. I looked down to watch my cock love him. 

"God, I want you so much; it's more than I can handle," I said.

He reached up and pet the back of my head, softly stroking my hair. "It's all right," he said. "It's all right. I got you." 

Jake smiled up at me, his lips curling up the tiniest bit in a cross between a smirk and a super hot, magnified, sunshine ray of pleasure.

In. Out.

My toes started to tingle, and I couldn't hold back any more. I let my eyelids flutter down to half-mast as I started to push in and out of him faster.

"Jake, Jake." My face tensed up. My body was fighting itself, straining, trying to make slow, beautiful, love-making movements to please him and resisting so hard against its need to barrel forward. 

"Jake," I said. My voice said it all. My need to be top but not to hurt him in any way. I needed to be big, but I needed not to make him feel small.

He looked me right in the eyes, warm and accepting. Still searing right into my soul.

"Ry. I get it. I feel you. I GET it." 

Thank God. 

The look of warm acceptance from him said even more than his words. Then he caressed my waist and gave me a full-out sexy, wolf smile. He opened his mouth and licked the edge of his teeth.

Oh fuck.

"Ry, it's okay. Let go."

Faster.

"Oh God. Oh fuck. Oh God, Jake. Jake!"

"I got you," he said again. "I got you." 

My right hand started to seize up into a claw. I was losing the battle against holding back. He was so hot. I couldn't stop pumping harder and faster. My whole body tightening. 

His 'ah, unh, ah' sounds. Fuck, oh God. And the moaning sounds, oh God, his moaning.

The roar in me just got louder, mixing with the slapping sounds, the sight of me stroking in and out of him. My body started heating up, and up, and up. My temperature spiked past fever toward consumption.

My reserve was slipping; I started pounding into him harder.

"That's it. Fuck me, Ryan."

This feeling was not normal. This feeling that my whole body was turning to molten gold.

"It's okay, Ry. Let go." 

Jake moaned loudly, the most visceral, primal, pleased, sexy sound I've ever heard. Not just a groan or a plea. A loud 'uhn' on a sigh, like all he wanted in the world could only come from me.

Oh shit.

I had to breathe through my mouth. I couldn't get enough air.

No, I can't let myself go this way. I can't.

It was too raw, too vulnerable, too... complete.

"Give it to me, Ry. It's okay. I want you. Let me see you." 

Jake scratched his nails down my back as our eyes locked.

Faster. Harder.

Tears started to roll down my face. My chest heaved, and I started to scream. Unintelligible 'ah...unh...ah' sounds getting louder and louder.

This was making love. But I couldn't do it anymore; I needed to fuck.

Something broke loose inside me, and I started hammering into him. 

Crazy. Ferocious. Thunderous.

Glorious.

Magnificent.

I wasn't going to last, but I didn't care. I grabbed his thighs harder and let my animal self take over.

My whole body shook with the need to come.

Give more, I told myself. More, Ryan. A few more strokes. He's right there, almost there. Hold out. You can do it. 

I came hard. Incredibly hard.

He came a moment after. 

We stared at each other. My face was so hot, and my ears had that kind of buzzing ringing sound, the kind that causes temporary deafness after an explosion goes off.

Then he was laughing.

What?

"Feel better?" he asked.

I grinned sheepishly. 

"Yeah," I said. I pulled out of him and cleaned up.

"Well, that took the edge off," he said. "Ready for round two?"

I looked at him and couldn't hold back a smirk. Still the same old Jake. I might have changed, but he didn't.

"Oh sure. Give me thirty seconds," I said.

After about ten seconds, he said, "That was thirty seconds. How about now? Now? Wait a sec. Now?"

I just shook my head.

"Enh." He jumped up. "I think I earned my coffee."

I grabbed him and kissed him. A long, thorough, possessive, 'you are mine, and I'll do anything for you' kiss. Then I let him go to finish making coffee.

"I changed my mind," Jake called out from the tent. "I LOVE camping."

I smiled. Jerk.

I handed him his coffee and made breakfast. I kept looking at him, trying to suss out if he was okay. I didn't want to be some domineering asshole who took and took and just did what he wanted with no thought about his boyfriend. I didn't want to be a domineering anything. Yeah, dominant maybe. Domineering, no. I certainly didn't want to hurt Jake because I was too self-serving to notice. No way.

Jake ate a huge breakfast, cracked wise, told me a funny story about being in a café during the week, and seemed as happy as the sky was blue.

We made love twice more that day, between hiking and swimming and lying in the hammock. It was still fast and furious, but it was also sweet and stable and the same holy hell awesome sex we had before we came up camping. Thank God.

"I could get used to this," Jake said.

Oh yeah. Me too, baby. Me too.

Sigh.

Sunday, I spent a lot of time reading while he took repeated naps.

Poor guy. I must have worn him out.

Now, if that doesn't make a guy smile, I don't know what does.

Smile.

In the mid-afternoon, we cooked s'mores over the fire.

I love my job, but for the first time in a long time, I wasn't looking forward to Monday.

Because I didn't want this to end.

While in a way, it seemed like a really long weekend—because I had changed so much—it was also far too short.

I looked at the afternoon sun, getting lower in the sky. Of course it has to happen. It was time to go. 

We started hiking back down, which of course, was a hell of a lot easier than hiking up. I could tell Jake was mellow. He only made two or three wise cracks.

POV - Jake

I stared at Ryan's ass as we hiked down the mountain. Although, it was a little harder to see under the pack than it had been when we were hiking up, because of the angle.

I thought about the weekend, or more specifically the morning. The thing about Ryan was he was kind of hard to figure out. It was sort of like he was two different types of people rolled into one. Which, hey, I like a good puzzle any day. This could be interesting.

On the one hand, he liked boring as shit movies like—what the hell did he call it? Amèlie. What was with that? So he had this really artistic, adult, sensitive side. And then, holy shit, he was staggeringly stupendous, shockingly super awesome, fucking fantastic caveman yesterday morning. What was with that? That was like, intense. Major intense. But, oh shit, was it hot. 

I thought I got it at the time. I mean, I knew then. I'm still kind of pretty sure, I think. He just has to be like, I don't know, king ape. Which is fine, I like to be court jester. As long as he lets me wear the king's robe and pretend to be king ape once in a while, I'm fine. Especially if he goes all caveman on me afterwards like he did. Holy fuckballs that was hot. Whoa.

I tripped over a root and landed flat on my face.

Boom.

Mouth full of dirt.

"Shit."

"Baby!"

He turned around to help me up. Lifted me up with one hand is more like it. Dusted me off. Oooo baby, baby. Brush me again.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was fantasizing and watching your great tush, and I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking."

He smiled at me.

"Maybe I should let you walk ahead."

"Nope. I'm good."

He shook his head at me.

Like I'm going to give up the view.

We continued walking, and I continued ruminating. Let's see. First not-a-date. Holy hot fast sex on my floor. Second non-date, yowza incendiary holy smokes hot sex in his office. Third sort of date, just sleeping. Fourth—camping—definitely date. Sex on the grass, sex in the tent, sex in the water, sex against the tree, sex on the grass again.

Ryan turned around and looked at me. "Jake are you okay? Your face is a little red."

"Just fine. I always turn this shade of red when I'm trying to see under your pack and use my X-ray vision to burn through your shorts." 

Ryan shook his head at me.

And, even with all the searing sex, the best thing about this weekend was probably when Ryan said, "I'm your guy." So, he's a caveman and a metrosexual. What the hell?

Now, I shook my head.

And he can cook.

Totally weird.

But pretty awesome.

POV - Ryan

We were silent for most of the drive back. Once we got back to the city, I asked, "Want to stay the night at my place?"

"I didn't bring another change of clothes," Jake said.

Which I took to be a no. 

I dropped him off at his apartment. I kissed him long and hard, trying to let both the possessiveness and the caring come through. I caressed his cheek. 

Then I gave him a gentle kiss. "I'll see you at work tomorrow morning. Oh wait, I won't. Crap. I just remembered I have an early morning meeting in Seattle. Fuck. Okay. I'll see you in the afternoon if I get back early enough."

"Okay," Jake said.

"It's too long," I said.

He rolled his eyes and hopped out of the car.

I went to the Italian restaurant to pick up something for dinner. There was a waiter there, a little blond twink who'd flirted with me once before. I'd forgotten he was there until I went in. He saw me standing by the door and put a lot of extra swish in his hips as he sauntered over. I looked down. I didn't want to encourage him, not even the tiniest bit. But it was good for my ego. I hate to say it, but the fact that Jake didn't want to come home with me, or invite me up to stay with him, bruised my heart a little. I completely gave myself up to a guy, and he was okay with seeing me whenever.

Maybe Jake wanted to see me more. Maybe he was just cautious. Maybe I would never fucking know because my boyfriend is a comedian.

Fuck.

I ordered the most decadent, fattening, cheese-filled thing on the menu. I took my to-go box from the twink as he batted his eyelashes at me, and I very subtly shook my head.

I didn't even put my food on a plate. I ate out of the Styrofoam container, standing up at the sink. Not really like me. I could use a drink too.

Maybe I'd watch a movie. Resident Evil, my ass. I took out my iPad and went to Netflix streaming. No, no, crappy, no, seen it, no, hell no, romantic comedy, no. The Book Thief. Yeah, that was just about my speed. Seeing someone else go through something tough was bound to make me feel better.

I went to sleep early.

In Seattle, I was off my game. I presented my drawings, and that of one of the other architects, to the potential client, but I couldn't tell if he was satisfied or not. He kept the meeting short, which was not a good sign. He didn't hire us on the spot. I hate that.




Not a Date Ch. 04



I didn't get back to the office until 2 p.m. I saw Jake, and his lips were full and pink as if he'd been biting them.

Oh, I'll bite them for you, baby.

I walked over to his desk and leaned over next to him. I'd put on new cologne that I'd bought especially because I thought he'd like it. I could tell he noticed when his nostrils flared.

"How's work?" I asked.

"It was good until you walked up smelling so great," Jake said. "Now I can't concentrate."

Bingo. I'll drive you nuts, too, scrumptious.

"You feeling okay?" I asked in a lower voice, getting even closer to him.

"What? Huh? Oh. Oh yeah, I'm fine."

"Good," I said.

I probably should leave him to get back to his work. But I didn't want to. I wanted to stand near him for the rest of the day.

"It's too late in the afternoon to have lunch time sex, isn't it?" he asked.

I shook my head slightly.

He grinned up at me and gave me wide eyes; it was a boyish look, enticing. "You make the rules, Ry. You're the boss."

I smiled back down at him. Anybody walking by would probably think we were having an affair. I didn't give a damn. If they gossip, they gossip. I wasn't going to let it stop me from smiling at Jake or making him smile.

I leaned so close his face was only inches from mine.

"Come to my house for dinner tonight?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah. Sure. But I want to go home and get a change of clothes first. Then I don't have to do it in the morning."

"Okay. I'll see you when you get there." I had to push myself to stand up and leave him to go into my office. I closed the blinds. If I were staring at him I wouldn't get any work done.

I had drawings to complete. It took a Herculean act of will to concentrate on them.

At three o'clock, I took a break to go get a late lunch. I hadn't eaten since breakfast at 6 a.m. and being hungry wasn't helping my focus.

I was walking to the café on the next block, sort of spacing out thinking X-rated thoughts of Jake, when I almost literally bumped into Kyle.

Fuck.

We had lived together for a year. When he dumped me for someone else, the break-up was nasty. But he smiled when he saw me. It seemed overly solicitous and comfortable, but what the heck.

He gave me a big hug. "Hey Ryan, I was just thinking of you."

As Jake would say, grrrrrrr.

"I'm working for Seaburg, Barbring, Weiser now," Kyle said.

The second biggest law firm in town.

"They're planning on building two office buildings, and they're looking for a new architectural firm. So naturally I thought of you."

Uh-huh.

"Let's have a snack in the café, and I'll tell you about it."

I'd rather cut off my own toe. But it's business. I plastered on a smile.

We went into the café, and I ordered a big lunch. Hell, I was starving. If he was going to keep me captive, I might as well try to enjoy it.

Kyle was really serious about this project. The two buildings they wanted to build were a decent size, and it would be a great boost for Jonowsky & Sons.

I finished up lunch as soon as was polite and promised him I'd draw him up some preliminary sketches. I paid for both our bills and we got up, walked out, and stood on the sidewalk for a minute.

He stepped in close to me. "I want you back, Ryan. Come have dinner with me tonight."

"Can't," I said. "I'm not single."

"Well, when you dump the guy you're seeing, give me a call."

Again, as Jake would say, grrrrr. Or as I would say, no fucking way.

He reached out and caressed my cheek with the back of his hand. I looked away. And saw Jake staring at us.

Jake turned on his heel and walked away.

Fuck.

"Gotta go," I said. I ran after Jake. I caught up to him and grabbed his shoulder to spin him around.

"It's all right," he ground out, his face grim. "You can do whatever you want when we're not together. It's not like you said we're exclusive." 

"Yes, I did," I said.

He blinked.

"I can explain," I said.

His whole demeanor changed. "You don't have to, Ry. I trust you." 

What?

"Whatever the reason, I'm sure it's okay," he said. He stepped closer to me. "I don't even have to hear the story. I completely trust you. I just had a minute there where I went insane."

God, I love him. He's perfect.

"I was going to the café for a snack," Jake said. "I think I can go back and get one. I've calmed down now."

I put my mouth to his ear. "Stay hungry," I whispered. "And I'll give you a personal snack later."

I could tell he was smiling.

I went back to the office. It was a little easier to concentrate knowing I would see Jake again in a few hours. And be able to completely ravish him.

Finally, I actually got some work done.

Jake came into my office at 5:30. "Okay, boss, I'm going to knock off for the day."

"I'll be right behind you," I said and he snickered. "My concentration is shitty anyway."

He smiled.

"Okay, baby," I said. "See you in a bit."

I thought I'd work for another ten or fifteen minutes, but it was about a minute later when I quit. I'd had a long enough day being only semi-productive. I wanted to take a shower before Jake came over.

I walked down to the parking lot. Jake was still there, next to his car, and there was a very good-looking guy standing way too close to him. A guy who had his hand on Jake's shoulder.

What the fuck?

I stopped in my tracks. 

How long had they been standing together? An ugly, multiple-tentacled monster reared its ugly head. Jealousy.

Okay, Ryan, get a grip. I needed to give Jake the same courtesy he gave me. 

I saw Jake put up his hand in the universal sign for stop.

Good boy.

But Mr. Handsome didn't back off. 

Okay, fuck courtesy. It was time to stake my claim.

God, that guy had his hands all over Jake now.

GRRRRRR.

I bet my murderous expression as I stalked toward them was like a roaring meteor coming. 

Just as I was a few feet away from them, Mr. Handsome saw me and sulked away.

That's right, sucker. You better run. Before I fucking run you over.

I came up behind Jake and put my arm over his shoulder.

He jumped. Then he smiled at me, a full-on sparkler.

"Boy, am I glad you're here. Great timing, too."

"Yeah," I said. "A minute earlier, and I would have broken his jaw."

"I like it," Jake said. "Big, strong boyfriend saves me from sleaze ball."

"You better believe it," I said and then I kissed him, a thorough kiss designed to sear his socks off.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "Thanks to you." He looked down and looked up at me coyly. "And hungrier than ever."

"Good. That's the way I like you."

I gave him another greedy kiss and reluctantly let him get into his own car instead of throwing him over my shoulder in a fireman's carry and throwing him in mine.

It had only been about a week and a half since our first "not-a-date". I should give him some space. But I didn't want to; I wanted to be with him twenty-four seven.

I have more control than this. I just have to remind myself to use it.

I drove home spacing out about him. Oh, Jake can be dangerous.

But then again, so can I.

I got in the shower, and as I was soaping up, I thought about Jake again. I should probably jack off. So I can feed Jake dinner before I jump him. I washed my chest and let my hand slide lower. Yeah, this is a good idea. Prevent myself from being the animal I wanted to be. I grabbed my cock. I was already hard.

I leaned back against the tile. I stroked my cock and pretended it was Jake's mouth. That's right, baby. Suck me. Let me in that beautiful, hot mouth of yours. Just like that. Fuck, oh fuck, Jake. Keep going.

Forget the bed. I'm going to fuck you in the shower. With the warm rain beating down on us and me rock hard against you.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Nobody's going to touch you but me. Let me pleasure you, baby. Let me inside you.

My balls seized up, and I came hard. 

Phew.

As Jake would say, 'that took the edge off.'

I moved the shower head around to make sure I cleaned up. 

Yeah, baby. I want to take the edge off. 

I thought of Jake. In my mind I pictured him, what I wanted to say to him. I want to take the edge off because I want to pleasure you slowly. Entice you. Because if I cared any more, I would implode—or maybe explode—as soon as I saw you.

I'm going to have some fucking control, damn it.

You're the one I want to see writhing and screaming out of control.

And I'm going to bring you there. 

I got dressed with care, put on the new cologne again, and went down to the kitchen. I wanted to make something special. I got out my cookbooks and began to look for something that would be extra conducive to seduction.

Because he deserved to be seduced, every day. Even if he didn't realize it yet.

Jake arrived at a quarter to seven. He was in a t-shirt and shorts, hot and sweaty. Oh yeah. Hell, maybe before dinner was fine. He must have gone to the gym. He had a garment bag over his shoulder.

"I thought I could shower here, if that's okay with you. That way I got here earlier."

"It's okay." Oh yeah it's okay. Like maybe I need another shower myself. So I can wash you off.

"I'm making Greek food," I said instead, biting my lip to keep the beast at bay. "I just started so it's going to take a while."

I hugged him. Nuzzled his neck. Smelled him. I rubbed my hands down his sides. "Don't shower," I whispered.

"Huh?"

"The sweaty male thing. From you, it's a huge turn-on. I want to throw you down and lick you."

"Ick."

I let him go. Shower it is.

"I'll be quick," he said.

Oh, you better.

He went upstairs, and I was curiously calm. Now that he was here, everything was okay. Cooking put me in a flow where I didn't think of anything else. I love cooking because of that. Nothing else exists for a while.

He came down in just a pair of jeans. Oh yeah, before dinner would be just fine.

"It smells great," he said. "Want any help?"

"No, I got it under control." Ha! I wish...

"It really smells wonderful."

"Thanks. Make yourself at home. Why don't you watch some TV or something?"

"Got any DVDs?" he asked. "Anything where the villain gets chomped or the building explodes?" He smiled at me. "Resident Evil 3 maybe?"

I smiled back at him. "Not my usual fare."

He gave an exaggerated sigh and went into the living room. Where he obviously checked out my DVDs. He yelled, "HAH!" with joyful excitement.

Yeah, I added to my DVD collection recently. All the Die Hards. Blade. The Terminator. Tropic Thunder. The Batman series and, oh yeah, three movies of Resident Evil.

I might not be able to tell him I cared about him every second of every day, but I could show him.

He came back into the kitchen with arms loaded full of DVDs. 

"You listened."

"Of course I listened," I said.

"And you did something about it," he said.

"I didn't want you to be bored."

"Around you, I could never be bored." He turned around and walked back to the living room.

I heard pumping intro music, and after a few minutes I heard a major ka-boom, whoosh-ha, and a huge fireball of an explosion.

"Ry," he yelled from the living room.

"What?"

He sang it in long slow syllables. "Thank you."

You bet, baby.

When dinner was ready, I pulled him into my lap. I only made one plate for the two of us, and before I ate, I carefully put each morsel on the fork and fed him bit by bit.

When we'd eaten everything on the plate, he said, "That was great. Can I have seconds?"

"Not yet," I said. "I don't want you overly full when I try to get intimate with you." I licked my lips. "I want you to work up an appetite."

"Hah," he said.

"Let's go watch the rest of that movie you were watching."

"Okay."

Turns out the movie was Tropic Thunder. Pretty funny actually.

"Amèlie my ass," Jake said. 

Speaking of ass. I grabbed Jake to me.

"Baby," I said softly. I pushed him back on the couch and lay down on top of him.

"So hungry for you," he whispered. 

"Not as hungry as I am."

I kissed him, slowly, savoring every part of the kiss.

"Let's go slow this time," I said.

"Well then you'll definitely have to lead. I don't think I can manage it."

I kissed him, and it was so sweet, so incredibly sweet.

I got off him.

"Come on, baby, let's go to bed."

"Bed?"

"Yeah. I want to make love to you. In a bed."

"Well that's a novel concept," Jake said. 

"Yeah," I said. "It's new. But I want you to get used to it."

I took his hand and led him to the bedroom. When we got there, I hugged him to me and kissed his neck.

"This time will be different," I said.

"Different how? What? No hard feelings?"

It took me a second to get what he meant. "Very funny," I said. I put his hand on my cock. "Plenty of hard feelings. I'm just going to deliver them soft and slow this time."

Jake ground his hips against me. "I bet not," he said with a smile in his voice.

Yeah. That's my boy. 

I thought about my shower earlier.

"Kneel," I commanded.

He dropped immediately. I stepped closer so my fly was right in front of him.

"Take it out," I said.

Jake opened my pants, lowered my underwear and very carefully handled my dick.

"Suck it," I said.

He put his mouth over me.

Oh fuck. Yeah.

He was very slow and deliberate. I put my hand gently on the back of his hair.

"I love you," I said.

His gaze rolled up to mine. 

"Mmn," he said around my cock, deliberately lashing his tongue over the sensitive part of my cock. 

Jake used his hand and mouth in tandem, so slow, so perfect, so right.

You're the one for me, baby. There's only you. There will always be only you.

"Stop," I said.

He stopped immediately.

Good boy.

I want to fuck you. Oh, yeah. Right now. Totally. I'm going to take you.

"Stand up, baby," I said, offering him a hand. 

"Strip for me." 

He smiled. Devious. He unsnapped the buttons of his fly, slowly. Very deliberately, he opened the fly a little, swayed his hips slightly side to side and pulled his jeans down.

He wasn't wearing any underwear.

Oh, fuck yeah.

His cock was standing out full and proud, pointing right at me like a thick arrow knowing exactly where it wanted to go.

"Undress me, baby," I said.

Jake didn't hesitate. He undid the buttons of my shirt, and after every one he opened, he kissed the skin it revealed. He took my shirt off and tossed it over a chair. He got down on his knees. My pants were already open. He pushed them all the way off. He followed the fabric with his face close to my leg.

Oh yeah, baby.

"Come on, baby. Bed," I said. "Now."

"Bed? What's that? I've never heard of that."

I pulled him over, gently pushed him down, coaxed him over on his side facing away from me. I lay down beside him and put my mouth to his ear.

"Well, you're going to hear of it now. And I'm going to make sure you never forget it."

I felt him smile.

I wrapped my arms around him and caressed his chest.

"Did I ever tell you how much I like your body?" I asked.

"What? No."

"Well I do," I said. "I love it."

I rubbed lower.

"It's perfect for me. All of it. Just like the rest of you."

He sighed, a contented, satisfied sound.

I ran my fingers softly up the bottom side of his cock.

"Let me make love to you, Jake," I whispered in his ear. "Let me make love to you."

He made that same gratified sound again.

I stroked him slowly, letting the tension build until he was thrusting his ass back against me.

Oh, that's it, baby. That's it.

You make me feel so powerful, so male.

So right. 

I rolled away to get a condom and lube out of the nightstand.

I took my time with him. I used an ocean of lubricant, let my fingers make love to him, opening up more and more for me, slow and steady.

"You're letting your fingers do the walking," he said.

"Shut up."

He smiled. I felt the movement against my cheek.

I'm going to wipe that smile right off your face, comic boy.

I curled my fingers.

He arched into me.

"You feel so wonderful, Jake," I whispered. "Whenever your hair touches my face, or your heels touch my shin, or you squeeze that tight ass around me."

"Don't make me wait anymore, Ry," he said.

"Beg," I commanded.

"Please, fuck me."

"No," I said. "Say 'please make love to me.' '' 

"Please make love to me, Ry. Please. I can't wait anymore, Ry. I need you."

Yeah. That's what I'm waiting for.

I put on the condom, put more lube on it, poised behind him.

"Ready, babe?"

"More than ready."

I slid into him, into his slow and steady heat. I groaned.

I cradled him to my body, lifted one of his legs a little bit and started rocking in and out of him.

He moaned, and it was my undoing. 

I plunged in and out of him, going faster than the sane part of me wanted to. I heard myself mumble over and over with each stroke.

"Love you, love you, love you, love you."

His moans filled my ears, and it was the best sound in the world.

"Stroke yourself, baby," I said. "Come with me."

Again, I couldn't last nearly as long as I wanted to, but the connection was so intense, I'm not sure time mattered.

He came, pushing back against me, and I came inside of him a second later.

He laughed.

"What's with this laughing shit?" I asked.

He laughed harder. "It's joy, Ry. It's my overwhelming joy bubbling out."

"Oh, well, that's good."

"Ready for round two?" he asked.

I was still inside him, partially hard. I shook my head. That's my boy. Bust all the intimacy up into bite size pieces.

Sigh.

I pulled out of him and disposed of the condom.

"You okay, baby?"

"Oh yeah," he said.

I spooned up behind him and pulled him into me. I very, very gently caressed his soft cock.

I smiled. "Oh," I said. "I heard a joke yesterday."

He twisted partially to look at me. I kept lightly stroking his cock.

"How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?" I asked and waited a second. "His hand caught fire."

There was a second's pause, and then Jake cracked up. He laughed and laughed, longer than I thought was warranted. Leftover joy maybe.

"It's not that funny," I said. 

"It is when you tell it."

I'm really beginning to love when he says that. I hugged him tightly.

"You ready to go to sleep?" I asked.

"Yeah, Ry. You wore me out."

Now, that's what I like to hear.

*

POV - Jake

I woke up in the middle of the night and didn't know where I was. Then I felt the heating pad radiating warmth onto my back, the gentlest breath on my neck and the heavy arm around my waist.

Heh heh. That was Ryan.

I yawned. I wanted to get up to go to the bathroom. I wanted to have sex with him. I wanted to go back to sleep. I never wake up in the middle of the night. It was being in a strange bed maybe.

I twisted over my shoulder to look at him. He was hard to see with just the tiniest bit of moonlight coming in through the Bermuda shutters; the sliver of silver highlighted his strong cheekbone but the rest of his face was deep in shadows. So I couldn't see that definitive chin, or strong brow, or long lashes. But every classically handsome line was etched in my memory. I didn't really know how to take all this. I really liked everything. The commanding words. The big hands roaming my body. His body wrapped around mine.

Not that I'm going to depend on it or get used to it or anything. Although, if we last that long, the heat sure will be nice in the winter. I won't need an electric blanket or anything.

Good thing that 'I love you' didn't freak me out. Right.

POV - Ryan

Every time I woke up next to Jake, it was wonderful, but this time it was truly miraculous. I guess having tender lovemaking in a bed makes for great sleep and an even greater wake up.

Stay with me, baby. Move in with me.

I got up, washed up and put on my gym clothes. I wanted to kiss him on the cheek, but he looked too peaceful to wake. I left him a post-it note.




Not a Date Ch. 04



He was at his desk when I got into work.

"How's everything going?" I asked, standing near him and bending over so it looked like I was peering at his work.

"Shitty, you rotten bastard," he whispered.

"What?"

"This post-it note shit in the morning really sucks. Don't do it anymore." 

"Huh? Wait, what? I left you a note. I had to go to the gym. I didn't want to wake you up."

"Tough shit. Wake me up anyway."

He sounded really serious.

"I made you coffee before I left," I said, trying to placate him.

"Which is the only reason you're still alive. Waking up without you makes me grumpy. Get away from my desk."

I smiled.

Oh yeah. He loves me too. He just won't admit it yet.

I went into my office. I left the blinds open so I could stare at him. Work went by pretty quickly. At 5:45, I saw him start packing up to leave. I went out to him.

"Come by my house for dinner?" I asked quietly.

"That depends, you big lug. Are you going to be in the bed when I wake up?"

"Hey, I call the shots here," I said jokingly.

"Not on this one," he said.

I stepped closer to him. "I'll be in the bed with you when you wake up."

He smiled at me. "Then I'll be right over as soon as I stop home to get a change of clothes."

I smiled back at him. I wanted to kiss him right there, but I refrained. "Okay," I said. I went back into my office.

I watched Jake leave. I had more work to do, but I couldn't concentrate. I tried for a few minutes but then gave up.

I walked into the parking lot and heard fighting noises. I looked up and saw four guys beating and kicking on some guy curled up on the pavement.

What?

"HEY!" I yelled loudly. I didn't think; I just barreled toward them. They stopped and stared at me. I was almost on them when, as one, they turned and ran. I was torn on whether to run after them or check on the victim. I chose check on the victim.

Holy shit, Jake!

I bent down to check him out. He was making terrible whimpering sounds. He had a shiner that was going to be an awful black eye, a gash on his jaw, his knuckles were bruised, and I was guessing he had some other injuries.

"You okay, baby?" Probably the most stupid question I had ever asked, but I had to know how badly he was hurt.

"Oh, peachy." His voice was funny, like it hurt to talk. "I just thought I'd examine the pavement for micro cracks, you know, in case I want to report to the company that I need to have my own parking spot." 

I smiled. At least his spirit's not dead.

I went to help him up, and he yelped.

"Okay, okay, easy." I got him up and reached into his pants pocket for his keys. We were basically in front of his car, and I didn't want to take the time carrying him to mine.

"Let's get you to the hospital, baby."

"Sounds terrific," he said. Then he mumbled, "Probably time for my rabies shot and my prostate exam anyway." 

Yeah. That's my Jake.

Speed limits didn't exist for me as I raced him to the hospital. I helped him out of the car and he sucked in a huge breath when I went to put his arm over my shoulder.

"No, no! Not that side."

"Okay, baby, okay. I hear you."

I went around to his left side and helped support him from there. Luckily, the emergency room wasn't too busy, and they let him in right away. 

I hated waiting. I paced.

Finally a doctor came out. I'm glad they didn't give me any next-of-kin, what's-your-relation-to-the-patient crap.

"He's got a concussion, two hairline-fractured ribs, a broken wrist and bruising in multiple places including his face. We set the ribs and the wrist, and he's stable. The nurse will come get you when you can go in."

The wait seemed long. It was probably only another twenty minutes, but since I'd found him on the ground, every minute was the longest millennium.

The nurse came and got me and showed me to his room.

Oh baby.

His eyes were closed. His cheek was bandaged. His right eye was already black and blue.

I sat by his bed.

"Does this mean I ruined dinner?" he joked.

I took his hand. "No, baby. It just means I'm going to feed you Jello."

He laughed. "Ouch. Oh, ouch."

I smiled. Okay, no making him laugh.

A nurse came in and gave him some pain meds.

"Sleepy," he said, about ten minutes later.

"Rest, baby," I said.

"You gonna be here when I wake up?"

I smiled again. "Yes, I'm going to be here."

"Because if you go to the gym while I nap, and I wake up without you, I'm going to beat your ass. I've got nothing to lose, my knuckles are already bruised."

"I'm going to be here when you wake up," I said.

"Good," he said. And within ten seconds he was snoring.

A while later, I saw two police officers at the door. I went out to talk to them, carefully shutting the door behind me. I told them everything I knew, which was not much. They didn't seem very hopeful. They wanted to talk to Jake, but I insisted that it could wait until he felt wide-awake and able to talk to them.

Nurses came in frequently, waking Jake up for one thing or another, and when they were gone, he promptly went back to sleep.

Three hours later, a nurse came in and handed me discharge papers with follow-up instructions.

"You're letting him go?"

"The doctor said he could be discharged as long as someone stays with him through the next twenty-four hours and wakes him up every two hours to check on him, because of his concussion. Will you do that?"

"Absolutely," I said.

"Thought so," she said. "I'll send up a wheelchair in a minute."

"Okay," I said.

Jake woke up. "Going home?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm going to take you to my house; it's bigger." 

I wished I could do more, but I wasn't sure what.

"I can't believe you got beat up," I said.

"Aw, I'm fine. You should of seen the other guy," Jake quipped.

I shook my head. Jake.

I felt helpless as I watched the aid help him into the wheelchair, and as I walked beside them as we exited the hospital. I gingerly helped him into my car, into the house, and up to my bed. His moan as I moved him to lying down was pitiful.

He was half asleep when I pulled my big, white lounge chair next to the bed and settled down in it.

He looked at me. "Not coming in?" he asked and gestured to the spot next to him on the bed.

"Nah, baby. I'm going to stay up so I can wake you every few hours."

"Sadist." 

I smiled. "Yeah, I could go all Marquis de Sade on you or whatever works."

He laughed. "Oh, ouch. Ouch."

"Sorry, baby," I said.

"Hold me?" he asked. He looked small and lost. 

Oh baby.

I got on top of the covers and let him carefully arrange himself around me so he was draped over my body in a way that didn't bother him.

"Sleep, sweetheart," I said.

"Ry?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think those guys... Do you think they had anything to do with that other guy who was hitting on me yesterday?"

As soon as he said it, I felt a bone-deep intuition it was true.

"I mean, they seemed pretty focused. They were right by my car; they could have been waiting for me specifically. I can't think of anything else it could be. One day, I turn down a very persuasive sleaze ball and the next day, I get beat up. Am I grasping at straws or does that make sense? What do you think?"

I think I'm going to find him and kill him.

"I don't know, baby."

But I'm sure as fuck going to find out.

"You know, I wasn't scared at the time," Jake said. "I was too busy defending myself. But now, when I think back on it, it's really scary."

I should have been there when it started. I wasn't there to protect him. My body tightened up.

"I wish I had walked you down to the parking lot," I said.

"Thank God you came when you did," Jake said. "Or can you imagine how bad those guys would have been hurtin'?"

We both chuckled.

"Ouch, ow," Jake said.

"You've got to stop making yourself laugh," I said.

"I can't," he said.

I know.

"Sleep. I'll hold you," I said.

"Okay."

I woke him every two hours for a minute to make sure he was okay. He obviously was, but every time I woke him, he got crankier and crankier. 

When I woke him at 6 a.m., he said, "If you wake me again, I'm going to withhold sex for a week."

I stared at him.

"And then I'd have to say, 'believe me, this hurts me more than it hurts you.' So don't wake me again."

"I think you're out of the woods now," I said.

I went down to the kitchen. I was so angry. Furious. Someone attacked my Jake. Yeah, he's my Jake now. I banged my hand on the counter, making sure I did it a lot softer than I wanted to, because I didn't want to wake him.

I had to do something.

I started to cook because I knew it would calm me down. I think I took every vegetable I had out of the fridge, started chopping them, slicing and hacking my knife down like a madman. When I had cut everything in sight, I decided to make chicken soup. It would be easy on Jake's jaw. And chicken soup was supposed to cure almost everything, right?

Maybe it could cure boiling rage.

I set everything going for the chicken soup and went to check on Jake. Sleeping. Thank God.

When it was a little more of a decent hour, I called my boss and told them that Jake had been attacked. They were appropriately shocked and appalled, and told me to tell him to take all the time he needed. I asked for the day off too, and they readily agreed. They didn't make any questioning remarks, which I appreciated.

I made Jake a fruit smoothie for breakfast, making sure it wasn't too cold. The look in his eyes made my heart lunch.

"Thanks," he said, taking the big glass from me. "I bet I look like shit."

"You should see the other guy," I said. It was probably the third time we'd said that joke so I didn't expect him to laugh.

He did.

"Ow, ow."

"Oh, baby." I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I did this on purpose, you know," he said.

"What?"

"I wanted you to have to give me a sponge bath."

We chuckled.

"Ow, ow."

I smiled at him.

"Let me take care of you, Jake, okay?" I pushed an errant lock of hair out of his face, stroking the back of my knuckles down his good cheek.

He started to cry.

Oh no.

"Baby, come here," I said.

I moved all the way onto the bed, propped myself up against the headboard and cuddled him into me.

He wasn't making any noise. The tears were falling silently down his cheeks.

"It's okay," I said. "It's okay."

I swear to God if I ever find those guys...

"I'll take care of you," I said. "I want to. I'll give you a sponge bath and change your bandages. I'll make you smoothies and soups until you are so tired of liquids you beg me for solid foods. Anything you need, Jake."

He nodded against my chest.

"I have to call in to work," he said.

"I already called."

"You did?"

"Yeah, good thing too. Your direct boss can be a real bitch."

He smiled. "Oh, ouch."

"Sorry, baby."

"I don't think I can get dressed and undressed without your help," he said.

"Maybe I'll just keep you naked," I said.

I could tell he worked at refraining from smiling. He was learning.

I definitely want to keep you naked. Stay with me, Jake. Stay.

"You need some water, babe?"

"Uh-huh," he said.

I got him a cool glass of water and watched him drink. 

He was worse than he let on. His ribs were obviously killing him.

I took care of him all day. I fetched things for him. Made sure he took his pain meds. Rubbed his feet to distract him from the pain. Cuddled him to me often, reassuring him he was safe and all right. I pet his soft brown hair.

I knew I'd like caring for him, but I had no idea I'd like quite so much. Every little thing I could do for him made my chest expand to the size of the room. Every time he looked at me, open and vulnerable, needy and grateful, I wanted to hug him to me and squeeze him tight.

He looked fucking hot. The bruises didn't diminish his hotness in the least. If anything they gave him an edge that made him look even hotter.

We watched the first Resident Evil movie. I obviously didn't enjoy it as much as Jake. It was okay. Watching Jake watch the movie, that's what was awesome.

Stay, Jake.

After the movie, I carefully pulled him onto my lap, gently kissed down the good side of his cheek and neck.

He slowly got out of my lap, being very careful of his ribs and wrist, and bent down in front of the couch to stare up at me. He knelt between my legs and looked in my eyes with an intense, wanting, gaze. I loved what I saw in his expression: gratitude, happiness, adoration, unbridled fierce desire.

"I want you too, baby," I said. "You're in no shape to do anything, but you'll get well soon and I'll ravish every part of you, head to toe." My hand dropped to my crotch and I rubbed my dick through my pants. "I'll fuck you right here on the couch, on the floor. Punish you and that gorgeous, hot tight ass, with my big dick." 

He smiled wide. "Oh, ouch," he said.

I leaned forward, closer to him. "I'll shove it in your mouth and make you suck me," I said, my voice getting lower and huskier with each word. "I'll rub our dicks together, jerking them off side by side in one hand until we're so hard, we could use our dicks as hammers." I rubbed myself harder. "I'll fuck into you so hard, you'll see stars, beg me for more, call out my name."

He whimpered.

Yeah, that's it baby, be mine.

It was tough but I turned off the sexual energy and leaned back. "When you're better. For now just let me pamper you."

He scootched a little closer to me. "My left hand works," he said. He reached out and ran his hand over my waist. "Open your pants, let wrap my hand around you."

I shook my head.

"Please. Please, Ry. Let me see your cock. Let me feel it. You're right; I want you. I want your dick everywhere. I maybe can't take all that right now, but I can touch you. I need to touch you. I need it."

Oh God, say that again, baby.

"I need to see and feel the strength that is you," he said. "I need to feel... you." He looked up at me with puppy dog eyes and almost automatically my hands went to my belt buckle. 

"Please, Ry. Please, please, please. I'm begging you."

I unzipped my pants. Pulled the halves of the fly apart.

He rubbed the good side of his face against my crotch.

"Oh God, Jake."

"You smell so good, so strong," he said. I melted right there.

He used his left hand to carefully take me out. He started stroking, a slow, steady jerk. I felt all the blood go to my cock, so quickly it almost made me lightheaded.

"Baby," I said. I let my eyelids drift down until they were almost closed.

"I'll do anything for you," Jake said. My eyelids flipped open. "Anything." 

Yes.

Jake continued his slow torture. He stared at my dick like it was an amazing mystery. He was a little awkward with his left hand, which strangely made it kind of... sweet. He kept up with the unhurried up and down motion, building the tension higher and higher just by doing the same wonderful squeeze and pump, slow and steady. 

My thigh was hot where his forearm rested on me. He leaned in closer, and I could feel his warm breath on the top of my dick, every exhale bathing me with every stroke. He concentrated on working the head and any calm, laid-back enjoyment I had promptly disappeared, replaced with a panting, roaring need. 

Pretty soon I was thrusting up into his hand. Every time I was with him, part of me was still surprised at how off-the-charts, amazingly good it felt.

"Oh fuck," I said.

Everything in my body tightened, like a bow string suddenly strung too tight. Lights danced behind my eyelids, and I exploded into his hand.

It took me a minute to catch my breath. We were frozen for a second. His hand stayed on me, wet and sticky. He looked at me like he never wanted to let me go. Finally, in slow motion, he brought his hand to his mouth, and his tongue darted out to taste.

"My God, Jake."

He started to smile, but caught himself.

"Oh, ouch?" I said.

He smiled. "Ouch, ouch."

"Sorry."

We cleaned up and settled on the couch again. My body felt like limp, like a piece of fabric or a puddle of water. It was all loose and satiated, like my muscles were wobbly and smiling at the same time.

We watched another movie, this one called The Host, about an alien who lives in a human. Again, not my cup of tea, but it was okay.

We went to sleep early. It took him a long time to get comfortable. Finally he found a way to lie on his good side, and I spooned up behind him, careful not to touch anywhere that might hurt.

"Jake..." I started. But I didn't know how to finish, what to say. "I wish I could make you feel better." 

"You do."

Oh, baby. Take comfort in me, baby.

In seconds, he was asleep.

Love expanded in my chest. I was so sad he was hurt, but I was glad he seemed willing to stay with me for a while. I wished I could do more.

I ran to the office early in the morning and got some work to bring home. I mostly took care of Jake and only worked when he napped. I know he still felt like hell but part of this was heaven for me.

When he woke, I kissed every inch of his good side. His dick twitched when I kissed his hip, but I kept going to his leg, and he calmed down a little, seeing I was all about caring, and not so much about sex.

Not that I stopped wanting him.

The third day, I really had to go into work. I really didn't want to. I managed to make it only a half day, but told my bosses I'd work the rest of the day from home.

I got home, and Jake was in the kitchen making coffee. 

"Making coffee with just my left hand sucks," he said as soon as I got in.

"Here, J, let me do that for you."

I fixed his coffee and went to my drafting table to work. At about six o'clock, Jake came in.

"Blow me," he said.

"What?" My dick heard him, and I told my cock to calm down.

"Blow me," he said again, walking a little closer.

"Jake, you're still a mess."

"There's nothing wrong with my dick."

Hard to argue with that.

I pushed my chair back. I tried to think of reasons why I shouldn't. Like maybe it would get all his blood pumping and that wouldn't be great for his bruises or something. Nope. I couldn't think of one reason.

"Come here," I said and crooked a finger at him. My voice was low and demanding.

He came to me. I like that in a man.

I put my hand on his hip. "You sure?" I asked.

Jake nodded.

I nuzzled his neck on the good side. I smelled him. He smelled dirty and sweaty and acidic, but he still smelled good to me.

"I can't get enough of you," I said.

"Well, that's good," he said.

"I'm so glad you're here," I said.

"Ah, well, that's good too."

He was wearing one of my white undershirts and a pair of my grey sweats.

"I like my clothes on you," I said.

"Most of your stuff won't fit me right, you big Adonis." 

I rubbed his hip getting closer and closer to his crotch. 

"Baby..." I said softly.

"You don't have to," he said in a voice that sounded unsure, and was so soft, I could barely hear him, despite our faces being so close together. Then there was a hitch in his voice. "It's just...it's just..."

I pulled back to look at him. "What?"

"I want to feel with every part that still works."

That's not very romantic.

"And what I want to feel is you."

Oh, baby.

I slowly sank to my knees and began rubbing him gently through the soft fabric of the sweats.

He moaned.

Oh yeah. That's it, Jake.

"Make it all go away for a while," he said.

"Okay."

I rubbed harder, feeling the outline of his hardening dick grow. I pulled the sweatpants down to his thighs. I leaned in and breathed warm air on his cock, then pulled the pants the rest of the way down and had him step out of them.

I stroked him very lightly. He was so perfect. It seemed like forever since I'd seen his dick up close, and admiring it, and him, was a huge turn on.




Not a Date Ch. 04



I looked up at him for a second. His expression said 'please, I want you, I need you'. I smiled at him.

"You just gonna dick around with it?" Jake asked.

That's my Jake. Very funny. I shook my head.

"No," I said. "I'm going to do more."

I slid my lips over the head, waited a second, licked and sucked, and then sank further over him.

"Oh God... Take your shirt off," he said.

I pulled off him. "What?"

"Take your shirt off," he repeated. "I want to look down and see you."

I whipped my shirt off and threw it on the floor. I flexed for him.

"God, you're hot," he said.

"Not as hot as you, love," I said.

I took his cock in my mouth again and lavished him, giving him everything I had. Jake's moans were music to my ears. He was right; he deserved to focus on pleasure and forget everything for a while.

I fell into an easy rhythm, bobbing up and down and using my hand. It felt so right. My cock swelled from how much I enjoyed what I was doing and from the delicious grunting turned-on sounds he was making. 

"God, I love how broad your back is," Jake said. "And I love how that awesome, fierce tattoo moves when you move. I love looking at your shoulders."

I stopped. Great. He loved my torso.

"And?" I asked.

He looked down at me, confused.

"And I love how you smell. I love how beautiful your butt is."

"And?" I asked again.

He shrugged. "And I love the way you blow me?"

I got up. Paced back and forth in the office, not looking at him. You know what? Fuck you.

"What?" he asked.

"Forget it," I said. I couldn't even put into words why I was angry.

I picked up my shirt to put it back on, but I changed my mind. "I'm going to take a shower and cool off," I said.

I stormed out the office. I could hear Jake moving behind me. He raced around me and stopped me before I got to the stairs. I could tell that moving that fast cost him.

"What the hell?" he asked.

"Never mind, Jake. It's not a big deal."

"It feels like a big deal," he said. "But I don't know what 'it' is."

Precisely.

I stared at him. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"What?" he asked again. "Did I say something wrong?"

"It's not what you said, Jake. It's what you didn't say."

I didn't want to be an asshole. "Look, I'm sorry," I said. I gave his good shoulder a soft caress. The last thing I ever wanted to be with Jake was a needy, irrational, demanding fuckwad. I just needed to get away from him for a second.

I tried to step around him, but he blocked me. I couldn't exactly push him out of the way, with his injuries.

I hung my head, defeated. "Just let me go to the shower, okay?"

He stepped out of the way, and I trudged up the stairs, feeling like my legs weighed a thousand pounds. What was wrong with me?

I got into the shower and closed my eyes as the spray rained down on me. I didn't even have the energy to raise my arms to shampoo.

I heard Jake get in with me. I felt his breath on my back.

"Hey, big guy," he said.

"Hey."

"I get it."

I turned around and looked at him. "You do?"

"Ah, sort of, maybe. I mean we've only been going out for like a week and a half. It's a little early to go all bitchy on me."

I turned my back to him and closed my eyes again.

"Okay," he said. "I don't get it. I thought we were having a good time."

"Yup," I said.

"So what's your problem?"

I turned around and glared at him. Then I turned back to put my face in the spray. "Forget it," I said through the water.

"No," Jake said. He put his good hand on my waist. "Oh, fuck," he said.

"What?"

"I'm not supposed to get my wrist cast wet."

"Shit."

"We were going to bag it. I got distracted."

I turned off the water. Looked at his wrist cast. Soaked.

"Oh shit, Ry. What do I do? Do I have to go back to the hospital and get a new cast?"

No, ya big dummy.

"Help," Jake said.

Yes.

"Come on, baby. Get out," I said. I got out my hair dryer, plugged it in, and turned it on to a low, just barely warm setting.

"Come here," I said. "Give me your arm."

I very carefully cradled his wrist and ran the air of the blow dryer back and forth over it.

"You know, when I asked for a blow job, this isn't what I meant," Jake said. Then he smiled wide at his own joke. "Oh, ouch."

I smiled. My Jake. Hard to be mad at him. He was who he was.

We were silent as I continued to blow the cast dry. I made sure to angle the air under the cast where I could, so his skin wouldn't be damp and get irritated.

"Better?" I asked.

"No," Jake said.

Sigh.

"What happened, down there in the office?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Come on, Ry. Talk to me. What happened?"

"You love my back."

"Yeah..."

"And you love my tattoo."

"Yeah," he said.

"And my waist, and my ass."

"Yeah..." His voice was getting more wary.

"That's great," I said in a totally flat inflection.

"Are you worried I just want you for your body? Because I also want you for your un-understandable, incomprehensible, brooding bitchiness."

I smiled. He was great. I shouldn't be pushing him. I didn't want to say what was bothering me.

"Jake, I love you," I said softly.

"So what's the problem?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Oh, for Christ's sake!" he said. "You need me to say it? Really? You don't get that I adore and worship you every second of the day by what I do?"

"I don't need you to say it," I said.

He stared at me. He tried to cross his arms over his chest, but between his ribs and his wrist he couldn't do it. "This is a mental arm crossing," he said. 

I smiled.

"You do need me to say it. Fine. I love you. There. Satisfied?"

"I don't need you to say it," I said again. Which was good, because the way he said it was like I forced him to, not exactly encouraging. "I just need you to feel it."

He made a disgusted, snorting, gurgling sound and walked out of the bathroom. With his left hand he flipped me the bird behind his back.

"You know how to ruin a good blow job," he said over his shoulder. "And it's not like I can even whack off properly with my left hand. I'm seriously right-handed." 

"Poor baby," I said trailing after him.

"Thank you for drying my cast," he said.

"No problem."

"Do you want me to go stay at my mom's?"

"Hell no."

"So what are we going to do?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said. "I just want you to know that I love you because of more than your hot body and gorgeous face. More than because of your witty comebacks. More than because of how sweet and talented you are. I love you because you're you. All of you."

He made that disgusted, gurgling sound again.

"Can we put that on a Hallmark card?"

I gathered him to me. 

"Maybe, if the card has a picture of your dick on it," I said. "That way everyone will want to buy one."

I gently kissed his ear on his good side, and figured that was that as far as conversation was concerned.

"This is all so new, Ry. I mean, I've never really..."

"What?"

"I've never really felt like this. I've never had a real, you know, whatever it is we're on our way to taking a stab at. It's just weird and new. I've just, you know, had temporary things; I've never had, like, a real relationship. I need you to be patient."

"Okay," I said, "I'm patient."

"No, you're not."

I laughed. "Okay, I'm not." 

"Fuck me, Ry," Jake said. 

Instantly, my dick twitched and plumped. I reached down to literally get a hold of it. Like by pressing myself with the heel of my palm, I could make it calm down. 

"Not a good idea, baby. You know I want to, but how would we even do it?"

He smiled evilly at me. "I bet we could figure it out."

"You can't be on all fours; you can't put any weight on that wrist," I said. "I definitely can't be on top of you, even if I were careful, I'd crush into your ribs."

"I could be on top of you," Jake said quietly. "Sit down slowly on you and ride you."

I groaned. More blood headed south; my dick liked that idea just fine. But I shook my head.

"You wouldn't be able to lean on me well, and I wouldn't be able to hold you firmly enough to get good leverage." I caressed his good hip and gripped it. Then I caressed his bruised hip, and he flinched a little. "Nice try, though."

"I bet we could manage," Jake said.

"Baby," I said calmly. "We'll wait. It will just make it sweeter."

Jake moved away from me and walked up to the wall. He spread his legs and arms, as if he were going to lean spread eagle against the wall. Then he did so, but instead of putting his right hand on the wall, he put his right elbow down against the wall, effectively taking all weight off the cast.

He turned around and looked at me over his shoulder and wiggled his ass. He leered.

"What's a matter, big boy?" Jake asked. "Scared?"

"That's not exactly the emotion that came to mind," I growled. 

I stalked toward him and fit my hips against his ass.

I nibbled his neck on his good side and carefully slid my hand around until I could caress the front of him.

"Thank God they didn't ruin my junk," Jake said.

"Amen," I said. Or else I'd really have to track them down and kill them.

"You sure you want to do this, baby?" I asked, rubbing him harder. "I could just jerk you off, being you're so... handily-handicapped and all."

He shook his head. "I want you inside me, Ry. I can take it." He ground his ass back against my erection.

"Fuck," I whispered.

"Yeah, let's," Jake said. "Oh, ow."

"Stop smiling," I said. "I don't want to hear any 'oh, ow' when I fuck you. And if you want to stop or change your mind, now would be a good time to do it. Because it seems like it's been a long time, and I don't mind telling you, you're rubbing that cute little ass against my cock is getting me cranked." 

"Oh, ow," Jake said again.

"Stop smiling," I commanded.

"Fuck it off me," Jake said.

I reached up and tweaked his nipple on his good side.

"Oh yeah," Jake breathed.

"I, however, can smile as much as I like, handsome," I said.

"Bastard," Jake said.

"You started it," I said. I rubbed his nipple between my fingers and was rewarded with him grinding harder against me. A growl escaped my lips.

I was so careful with him. I kissed him on the cheek, neck, shoulder, and upper back.

"Hold on a second, baby," I said.

I got lube and a condom out of the bedside dresser. I went very slow, kissing and nibbling, and caressing him, while I got him ready. I kept murmuring to him between kisses. Not even full sentences really, just how I loved him, and respected him, and wanted to care for him, pleasure him, be inside him. 

The heat radiating off him got hotter and hotter, and a nice flush appeared across his upper back.

I kept working inside him, hoping to get to his soul as well as his body. I gently searched and found spots to make him ground back into me and worked them gradually harder and harder.

"Please, Ry. Please!" 

Okay, baby, okay. Whatever you want, I'll take care of you.

I put the condom on and pushed into him very slowly.

Oh God, it was fantastic.

I gave him a moment to adjust. I pulled back out, dragging over every spot I could, and slowly slid back in.

Oh yeah. 

I clamped my teeth around his good shoulder, steadily increasing pressure to keep myself in check. I had to keep my wits about me. I didn't want to press on any of his bruises by accident. 

I made every pumping stroke as drawn-out and deliberate as I could. I was building the tension between us, letting it spark up higher and higher like flint blocks being slammed together. I let go of my bite on his shoulder. 

In and out. Oh yeah, that's it. 

My eyebrows furrowed, and my face scrunched up in my intense concentration to make it as good as possible for Jake without hurting him.

"I can take it," he said.

I kept up my slow assault, pushing in and out of him, prolonging the great joining between us without going any faster.

I concentrated on feeling my stomach and back muscles curl, bunch, and unfurl. I tried to focus on holding back while keeping up the rhythm of my hips rocking into him, putting music into the in and out for him. But it got harder and harder to hold back. God, he was so hot. There was that smell he was putting off, that hot male musk getting stronger and stronger. And that 'ah, ah, ah' moan he was making.

My eyes had been half-shut, but I opened them now to stare at Jake. His left hand pressed hard to the wall. His back muscles tense and quivering. He was breathing in loud, heavy pants.

"Please, Ry."

Oh, fuck yeah.

I tightened my grip on his left hip. Pistoned in and out in a needy but controlled rhythm. The build of my arousal pushed us harder.

"Please, Ry. Harder, faster, more. I can take it."

Say you love me, baby.

I cranked down my grip on his left hip even more, and Jake lilted to his right side a little bit, leaning on his right elbow for support.

"Ready?" I asked.

"God yes, please, yes."

I pounded harder, bit the bottom of his left earlobe.

"Ry!"

That's it, baby. Come for me. 

I still held back a little, fighting against the tide of my hunger, the great smell Jake was giving off, the little whimpering noises he was making.

His noises got louder. I let myself fuck him a little harder, focusing on enjoying the burn between holding back and letting myself go.

"Fuck, yes, God, yes, oh, yes, oh Ryan. Shit. Fuck. I'm almost, I'm going—"

He came hard and joy slammed into me with the force of a truck.

I pumped harder, faster, gritting my teeth, trying to extend our coupling just a few seconds more.

Boom.

I followed Jake into the abyss.

"Holy shit," Jake said.

"Not bad for a cripple," I panted.

"Aw, don't sell yourself short," Jake said.

That's my Jake.

I pulled out and disposed of the condom.

"Want to relax in my arms for a while?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said.

Like forever, I thought.

POV - Jake

Well, you gotta say one thing for Ryan, he knows how to fuck. Well, you have to say two things for Ryan, actually. He knows how to fuck, and he knows how to make a guy feel like a million bucks. Cared for. Special. Amazing.

Seafood salad. Hand-dipped strawberries. Homemade chicken soup, brought to me in bed. Rubbing my feet. Holding me in his lap. Buying all those movies I like. He knows how to pamper a guy. I have to admit, I kind of like it.

And, boy, can he give a sponge bath.

He makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over. So what if he's got shitty taste in movies? At least he liked Tropic Thunder; I know he did. He'll come around. People change.

POV - Ryan

It was a wonderful night. With Jake in bed, it's all wonderful.

I had to go into work the next day. I really hated leaving Jake.

"I can get along without you for a few hours," Jake said.

I skipped the gym and went right to work. Work was pretty torturous, but I got through it. I wanted to go to the café down the block and pick up one or two things for dinner. I was almost there, when I saw Mr. Handsome.

I was on him and took him down to the pavement in a flash. It was like I didn't even realize I was moving. I was on top of him, and he was looking up with a distinct 'what the fuck?' expression.

"You!" we both said at once.

"You had those guys attack my boyfriend," I said. Not a question. A statement. The look on his face said it all.

I took him by the shoulders and gave him a slam into the pavement.

Oh? Ouch, ouch? "Yeah, there's an ouch for you," I said.

"Listen, listen," he said. "I was... a little crazy. I'm not used to getting turned down. I just wanted him to get a little lesson. They weren't supposed to really hurt him."

"Well, they did," I ground out between my bared teeth. "I had to take him to the hospital."

I forced myself to get up, and I dragged him up with me. I hauled back my arm and cold cocked him a huge right hook to the jaw. 

"If I ever—"

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Listen man, I'll pay for his hospital bills. It was wrong; it was crazy. I've never done anything like that before, I swear."

"And you won't again," I said. My voice was low with menace.

"Let me make it up to you," he said. "Let me make it up to the two of you."

I shook my head. I let go of him. 

"Go," I said.

He turned around and ran from me. After he left, I thought maybe I should have asked him how he contacted the guys who actually beat on Jake, so I could scare some 'don't you ever dare' into them, but there wasn't any point. They weren't going to come back.

I took a deep breath. That was kind of refreshing actually.

I bought what I needed from the café and went home.

"More coffee," Jake said as I came in the door.

"I'm on it, babe."

I put the food bag down and made the coffee. "I ran into someone today."

"Who?"

"Mr. Handsome."

"Who?"

"Slick, sleazy, all hands. Macked on my boyfriend in the parking lot."

"Oh. Did you get all his info so I can press charges?"

I stopped. Fuck.

"Ah, actually I was too busy beating the crap out of him to think about that."

Jake smiled at me. He came over and hugged me. "That's even better. My hero."

Oh yeah.

I kissed him gently. "How's all the aches and pains?"

"Better," Jake said. "Especially my face."

I kissed him again.

"And I'm pretty sure I can lean weight on the cast now, if you get any ideas."

I smiled at him.

Yeah, I got one all right.

"Would you like to eat first?" I asked.

"No."

All right then.

*

Friday Jake wanted to go back to work.

"And how are you going to write?" I asked.

He gestured pecking on the computer keyboard with just his left hand.

"Take another day," I said. Oh, God, what if he feels good enough to move home? "You can go in on Monday."

"I'm getting a little stir crazy here, Ry."

"Tell you what. We'll go out tonight."

"Really?"

"Hell yeah. We'll let people think I beat you up."

He laughed.

"No ow, ow?"

"Nope."

Mmmmn. I raised my eyebrows at him and slid my hands down his chest. "Maybe you are getting better."

Jake raised his eyebrows back at me. His voice got low and husky. "Why don't you try me out and see?"

Oh, fuck yeah.

I looked at the clock. If I skipped the gym and the shower, I definitely had time. 

Jake got naked in record time, and so did I. God, he was so beautiful. 

He got on the bed on all fours. I guess he didn't have any problems leaning on that cast anymore. I knew I still had to be really careful; I took a second to take stock, to make sure I wouldn't put any weight or pressure on any of his week points. Looking at him, even with his taped ribs, and his cast, and his bruises, I was overwhelmed by him.

"How did I get so lucky?" I asked.

"Save any orphans lately?" he asked. 

"No," I said stalking toward him.

"Discover cures to any diseases?" 

"No."

"Maybe you were a warrior in your last life, and you saved thousands of people. And this is your reward," Jake said.

I ran my palm down his back. God, his skin was so smooth.

"Even if I saved a million people," I said. I kissed his shoulder. "It wouldn't equal the glory of this."

I nipped down his back. I knew we had a time constraint. I knew we had to rush. But just for a second, I couldn't. 

"How do I make this special for you, baby? How can I make this better?"

He carefully twisted over his shoulder to look at me. "It's not possible, Ry. You couldn't."

My chest swelled, filling with a warm fullness. Like a sunny, tender lake blossomed inside my heart and expanded out.

I kissed down his spine. I caressed his back. I opened him up.

Suddenly, a vision of my favorite spot by the lake came to me, and that weekend, and all the times during that weekend that we made love there. Jake was like nature in a way, just himself, amazing in his totality.




Not a Date Ch. 04



I worked him with my fingers, still forcing myself to go slow. 

"Ry..."

And then he started moaning.

So much for slow.

"Please, please, please, please."

He's so, so wonderful. "Tell me what you want, baby."

"Bring the Universe to me, Ry," Jake said.

And I did.

*

Work sucked. My creativity was not exactly on point. My concentration was in the toilet. I kept looking out my office window at the empty desk. Jake's desk. People kept popping in to ask stupid questions.

I had deadlines to meet, and instead I kept daydreaming, floating off to fuck Jake in my mind.

Buckle down. There's work to be done.

I knocked off early.

I couldn't wait to get back to Jake. See how he was. Cook him dinner. Make love to him again.

Marry him.

Wait WHAT?

Oh no. It's too soon. Way too soon. I pulled the car over.

Shit.

Mother fucker.

This is not a problem. I'll just keep it to myself.

I got home. Jake was eating peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon. He had the jar cradled to his chest, holding it there with the cast, and was clumsily eating with his left hand. It was adorable.

"Hey, baby," I said.

"You do know I think you are like... the greatest, right? Like... you know, better than porn?"

I smiled. "I know, babe."

"Good, can we fuck now?" 

"When did you become such a horn-dog?"

"Like always?"

A line from an old Paul Simon song came to me. 'Who am I to blow against the wind?'

"Yeah J, I guess if you really, really want to, we can fuck."

*

POV - Jake

It was weird. I could tell that Ryan was still being really careful not to hurt me. It was funny really. In a way, I felt stronger than ever after being beat up. It might not seem like it, but I sort of held my own against those guys. I did fight back and get a few killer blows in. BAM! It was hardly a fair fight though; I'm lucky I only got hurt as badly as I did.

As crazy as it seems, in a way, now that I've recovered a little bit, I feel a little like, 'yeah, I've been through the war zone and, you know, I'm cool.' I know this is a pretty juvenile attitude. If you pair it with the, 'oh I'm so glad my boyfriend is waiting on me hand and foot' and 'oooo it's so nice to have a reason to take a week off from work' you pretty much have a combination that epitomizes why I have a hard time really thinking of myself as a hundred percent an adult. 

Then all the time off gave me even more time to think about Ryan. I was having a new fantasy where I got to show him off naked to all my friends. It was really raunchy. I put him up on a pedestal and slowly stroked him until he got hard. He threw his head back, and I told my friends, 'Now this is what you should be looking for' and 'This is what you really want'. And then Ryan got more and more excited and came, his cum looking like a huge creamy fountain shooting into the air. 

I guess it was because I thought he was so great that my subconscious wanted to put him on display. 

Or maybe I just had too much time on my hands.

POV - Ryan

We stopped by Jake's apartment to get him something to wear for our evening out. We couldn't decide where to go at first, but we decided on Tapa Goldfinch, a trendy club that was a mix of in hot spot and tourist attraction without being too "precious".

Jake decided to wear a tight black Nirvana T-shirt with a button-down white dress shirt open over it, and black worn jeans that fit him verrrrrry nicely. Oh yeah.

"We could stay in," I said, feeling up his butt.

"No," he said.

I sighed over dramatically. "Fine."

We got to Tapa, and it was already getting crowded. We found a table right away. A waitress saw us and said she would be by to take our drink orders, but then disappeared, never to be found again.

"Shit," Jake said. "I'm really thirsty."

"What do you want, babe?"

"A Bud Light."

"Okay, I'll get you one."

I went to the bar. It took a while. The bartender was hustling her ass off, and I had to wait while she served a few other customers before I could even really get up to the bar. I got a Bud Light for Jake, and a Cognac for me.

I turned back to our table and Jake was talking to an older, distinguished looking gentleman. Hmmn. At least I didn't feel the overwhelming jealousy monster take control of me.

"Hey, Ry. Nigel, this is Ryan. Ryan, this is Nigel."

I put our drinks down and shook Nigel's hand.

"Is it all right if Nigel joins us?" Jake asked me. "There's nowhere else left to sit."

"No, no," Nigel said in the most upper crust English accent I'd ever heard. "I wouldn't want to be a bother."

"No, hey, the more the merrier," I said.

Nigel sat down with us. A few minutes later, he waved into the crowd. Another older gentleman came over. I think immediately they're a couple. Something about the way the other guy stands so close to Nigel maybe.

"Jake, Ryan, let me introduce my mate, Liam." Because he's so English, mate could mean anything.

Liam sits down and joins us. The small talk is nice and in minutes, Jake charms the heck out of them, regaling them with stories of his faux paus, and very American snafus. 

I get up to get us all another round of drinks. When I get back, I find that Jake has sold them on my skills as an architect. He was deep in the thick of things with them. They were some kind of patrons to the arts. Sounds like they were building a concert hall. Interesting.

The longer we spent with them, the more I liked them. Jake put Nigel's number in his phone, and gave him his number. We all got up to dance. I held Jake's hips gently in my hands. Nigel and Liam looked over and gave us huge smiles.

Jake whispered in my ear, "Pay for their bill."

"Huh?"

"Pay for their bill," he said again.

They didn't look like they were hurting for money. Nigel's suit looked like it cost as much as some people's rent. I was about to mention that to Jake, but thought better of it. If my boyfriend asked me to do something, I was damn well going to do it. I was still trying to woo him. Hell, if he asked me to buy a round for the whole restaurant I probably would.

"Sure thing, babe," I said in his ear.

He smiled at me, and my heart thumped a little faster.

Can we go home now?

'Cause I have some things I want to show you, now that you're feeling better.

"Have you had enough cure for your house-bound stir crazy?" I asked. "'Cause I'm feeling like home would be a great place to be right now."

He smiled against my cheek. "I could deal with a dull night at home," he said. There was a note of sarcasm in his voice that made me think it would be anything but boring at home. 

Time to expedite our exit.

I paid our bill, and Nigel and Liam's. We said our good-byes, and I hustled him out of there.

I held the car door open for him, and helped buckle him in, although he probably could have done it himself. I went around the driver's side and got in myself.

"How much better are you feeling?" I asked him.

"Other than the wrist and the ribs, all better, why?"

I looked at him. I grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him to me. I plunged my tongue into his mouth, tasting him, licking into him, penetrating him.

"Oh fuck," I said when I stopped for a second, and then kissed him again.

"Yeah," he said when we came up for air. "Definitely all better. I love it when you go all caveman on me."

"I love it when you drive me to crazy caveman. I swear Jake, I've always been a little bit alpha, but you make me fucking barbarian."

He laughed. "Hardly, but okay. Bring it on."

I dragged him to me. Planted both hands hard on each side of his face, and kissed him until we were both reeling.

"How fast can you get us home?" he asked.

"I can't make it that far," I said.

But I thought about it. I didn't have lube with me anywhere, although we could stop somewhere. The car was small, the backseat was small. Home might be better, I could drive fast.

"Oh, it's just sweeter if you wait," Jake said in a very snotty voice, obviously mimicking something that I had said to him earlier.

I grabbed him and kissed him again. Fine.

"And I get to fuck you this time."

I was in the process of turning the engine on, but I stopped short.

I looked at him.

"It's time," he said, suddenly serious.

"Are you up to it?" I asked quietly.

He palmed his crotch with his good hand. "I will be by the time we get home."

I shook my head.

That's my Jake.

"All right," I said. 

"Yeah!" he said and did a little shimmy dance in his seat. "I get to be on top of the world."

My lips twitched as I held back a smile. I started the car and headed home. I was much less apprehensive about it this time. So, he'd be the one to rock my world as the rocker instead of the rockee. 

Oh, and I'm guessing payback will be a bitch.

***

Yeah, Jake had his way with me, and I didn't have a freak out afterwards. I was able to completely deal, leave him in bed, and go out for a quick shopping trip to get two or three things I needed to make us a late night snack.

When I got in Jake was kneeling in the middle of the living room, head down, wearing just a pair of faded jeans. My first thought was that this was a submissive position, that he was doing it to play the perfect sub. A single shaft of gold from my overhead pendulum light spotlighted him. I saw him there, looking so beautiful, and humble down on his knees, and my dick twitched hard. Maybe he knew me even better than I knew myself. 

Because seeing him, head down, eyes closed, with the willing, respectful, reverent, patient emotions on his face, all laid bare for me to see, was probably the best gift I ever got.

Oh holy fuck, he's amazing.

I wasn't surprised he didn't look up. I mean, that fit. But as I stalked over to him, it was like he hadn't heard me at all. I got closer and I realized I had misread the situation. WAY misread it.

Jake wasn't on his knees to give a submissive gift to me.

He was praying.

I walked a little closer. Jake looked up.

"Oh. Hi, babe," he said, and in one graceful move he popped up to standing.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked.

"Oh, ah." He looked down at the floor and looked a little embarrassed. "I just, ah, um, I mean."

I stared at him.

"I've been praying for help with forgiveness."

"Huh? What?"

He shrugged. "It's like. After I first got beat up, it sort of took a while for my emotions to catch up with me. I was scared, and then I was relieved, and then I was angry. Grrrrr," Jake said.

I smiled at his fake growl.

"Then I was really angry."

You and me both, baby.

"I was angry at the sleaze ball, angry at the guys who beat me up, angry at myself," he paused and pointed up.

My gaze followed his finger to the ceiling.

"Angry at everything."

Wow. Okay.

"Uh-huh," I said. I wanted him to keep talking. I put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He shrugged again. "But then you were so nice, everything sort of went a way for a while." He made a face I interpreted to mean especially when you were rubbing my feet or we were having sex. "But then it all came back. Not just anger, like, anger looped. Resentment."

I nodded.

"Yeah, so." He pointed at the floor. "I was, you know, trying to get some forgiveness going. I was praying for those guys."

"You were praying FOR them?" 

"Ah, yeah."

We were silent for a minute.

"Anyway," Jake said. "It's not working. I still want to smack the shit out of them and make them watch boring French movies. But I tried. I know that resentment can eat you up inside, so I prayed to have some forgiveness, a lot of forgiveness, total forgiveness. But, yeah. I'm not quite that adult. But, what the hell, fuck it. I gave it a shot." 

I pulled him to me and hugged him.

"So yeah, I was praying that all good things, like success, and health, and love would come to them." 

"You're a bigger man than me, Jake."

He wiggled left hand between us and gave me a soft stroke and then goosed my ass. "Not in any, single way."

I kissed him softly, letting my kiss try and show all the respect I had for him.

"Listen, baby," I said. I turned him around and fit his back to my front and hugged him that way; it just felt right. "This only happened a few days ago. You're entitled to be angry, resentful, upset, whatever you want to feel. Give it a while. If you still want to do the..." I let my sentence trail off. I didn't even know what to call the thing he was doing.

"Pray for your God-damn-those-fuckers, fine-all-right-yeah enemies, purely so you get better yourself," Jake said.

"Ah, right. If you want to do that turn around thing, you can. Maybe it's just too soon. But I bet, if that's the way you want to go, you can do it." I kissed the outside of his ear. I lowered my voice. "You can do anything."

"Awwww..." he said.

I wasn't sure if I should tell him what I thought he was doing when I came in. Yeah, why not? This will be hot. I smiled to myself. Hhhhmm. How to say this?

My voice went down to a husky whisper. "You know what I saw when I came in here?"

"Unt-uh."

"You were in the middle of the room." I smoothed my hand over the front of his hip. "You were kneeling, sitting back on your haunches, with your knees spread wide open." Jake opened his legs a little, and I dragged my hand up the inside of his thigh. "Your back was very straight," I caressed his back. "But your shoulders were curled forward a little bit and your head was bowed low."

He finally got where I was going with this, because he said, "Oh fuck," and ground himself back into me. 

"Your back and shoulders glistened, every taut muscle was accentuated and bathed in gold from the overhead light. Your hair hung down and covered your eyes. Your hands were clasped together in front. Over your cock."

Jake moaned.

"You looked like an angel, Jake. Like a gift from God. Like the most perfect, incredible, gorgeous statue anyone had ever carved and then some. The fucking hottest, most beautiful sight I've ever seen. My eyes almost bugged right out of my head."

I put one hand in his hair.

"But they couldn't, because all the popping out was being done by my cock, which was jumping, pushing so hard to get out of my pants."

I made a fist in his hair and pulled his head back. "You were...awesome."

Jake moaned.

"When I came in, I thought you were kneeling on the floor because you were giving me a gift."

He tried to shake his head, but I still had a firm grip on a handful of his hair.

"And you did," I said, and my voice got smokier and huskier than I'd ever heard it. "Just a much, much bigger gift than I originally thought."

I reached around and rolled one of his nipples between my fingers. Jake took an excited, sharp intake of breath, and the sound caused me to tweak his nipple harder. 

"And now," I said, my voice coming out on a growl. "I'm going to reward you."

With one hand I unzipped his fly. I pushed down his underwear, took his length in my palm. "I'm going to pump you, stroke you," I said in his ear.

His right arm came up swiftly to grab the back of my neck, and he thumped me hard with his cast. I didn't care. I gave a few slow strokes to his cock, and his wrist stayed where it was, the rough material of the cast rubbing my neck as he tried to find purchase. He had forgotten he had the cast on. Good. I wanted him to forget everything except what I was saying and what I was doing to him. 

"I'm going to lick you," I said. "I'm going to be the one down on my knees this time."

He whimpered.

"That's right. I'm going to make you mine. Are you mine?"

Jake went to nod, but I still had one hand entwined in his hair. I let go of his hair. I grazed my teeth on the outside of his ear. I moved both hands to his chest and rubbed my palms over the flat planes of muscle, lightly skirting over the nipples.

I repeated my question. "Are you mine?" 

He nodded.

I let both hands drop down to his cock, one hand dropping even lower to his balls.

"Mmmmn-ohhhh."

"That's right, Jake. Make noise for me." 

"Oh, God, Ry, fuck."

I slowly jerked his cock. "You were so, incredibly, incredibly handsome down there on your knees, Jake. I wanted to...just...fucking..." I trailed off, not even sure what I wanted to do because I had been so awestruck. "Tie you up and fuck your mouth."

His moan was loud.

"That's it, baby."

"Oh God."

"Maybe we'll still do that one day."

"Oh fuck, Ry, don't tease me."

I walked around him, lightly trailing a hand on his waist. "You're beautiful, Jake. You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen. I only want you."

I dropped to my knees in front of him and looked up at him. "I love you. I love what you do. I love who you are. I love what you try to do, even when you don't succeed the first time." My voice turned growly. "And now I know I REALLY fucking love it when I come home and see my boyfriend on his knees."

I looked up at him and he smiled down at me.

"And you know what I'm going to do now, right?" 

Jake found his voice. "I know what I want you to do," Jake said, his voice low and sexy.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, suddenly drunk on power. "Say it."

"I want you to polish the floors. I mean, you're already on your knees, and you're so much better at cleaning than I am." 

"AAAaaaarggggggh!" I said, and hopped up to my feet again.

"Sorry," Jake said, smiling wide and not looking sorry at all.

"Oh, you are fucking going to get it, Comic Boy. Fuck your reward. It's going to be reward/punishment now."

"Bring it on, Hercules."

I ran around to his back and carefully twisted his left arm up behind him and marched him over to the grand piano and leaned him up against it. Because his fly was already open my frog-marching him the few steps caused his jeans and boxers to fall down further, exposing his beautiful tight ass.

"I swear," I said. "I want to do so many things to you, I don't even know what to do first."

"Anything you want, Big Boy."

I yanked his pants down, and caressed long strokes up his back and down the gorgeous sleek muscles of his back and ass. I crouched down behind him and licked the middle of his cheek. Then the other. Slowly circled in.

"Oh God, Ry," Jake said, his voice running higher and higher with a cross between excitement and panic. "I've never done that. I've never done that!"

"Me either, baby. But I offered you reward, and you opted for reward/punishment, and I don't have lube down here, so this is it."

I circled closer and closer, zeroing in.

I could feel Jake's body getting tenser, literally vibrating like a bow string. Oh fuck yeah. You will never, ever forget me, ever. You want to be a better person? So do I. We are sooooo going to do this.

Closer.

Finally gently licking the circle where the skin was different. Then I decided to just go for it. I plunged in, giving it everything I got.

Jake cried out, an amazing, primal, happy yell.

Yes.

Oh, fuck me, yes.

I continued to kiss him, fuck him, wet him. Hearing his pleasure made me hard.

After a bit he said, "Stop. Ry, stop!"

I stopped immediately.

He was breathing heavy.

"Can't take it anymore. Don't want to come all over the piano." 

I stood up, turned him around, and held out my hand to him. I slowly started backing up, arm extended, without realizing that he'd have to get his pants up first. I came back in close.

"Need some help with that, baby?"

"No. I figured, you know, after getting that freaking world tilting experience I'd just waddle up the stairs with my jeans and boxers around my thighs."

I pulled up his pants and underwear and gently tucked him back in. I extended my hand again.

"You're an incredible man, J. Let me take you to bed."

"Ah well, if you insist. You gonna carry me up the stairs?"

"If you need me to."

"No. I'm wobbly, but I can walk."




Not a Date Ch. 04



Jake took my hand, and I held his in mine. His was a little sweaty, and cool and clammy at the same time, as he'd been hot and sweaty before but the sudden intimacy made him nervous.

"It's okay, baby," I said.

I walked backwards all the way up the stairs, leading him. It was maybe the first time I was with him, after all our frantic joinings in the last however many days, that I felt like I could really make love to him slowly the whole time. Finally, my lust was banked enough I thought I could control it. Now it could have a slow build and I could maintain it, and not have it run away from me like a heavy barrel dropped from a tall mountain that was just picking up speed.

We got to my bedroom, and suddenly the phrase bedroom eyes really made sense, because I'm sure that's how I was looking at Jake.

POV - Jake

I should feel a little remorse about my polish the floor comment, but it was pretty damn funny. I just couldn't resist. And then Ryan's reaction was priceless. Totally worth it. I'm still having trouble wiping the silly grin off my face just thinking about it. Good thing my face totally healed up. Take him down a peg. I swear, he's just too good for words sometimes, someone has to give him some balance.

And I am sooooo up to the job.

So to speak.

And then the change from reward to punishment was a total surprise. 

Wow.

That's the thing with Ryan. He seems so buttoned up and predictable on the outside, and then he's totally not.

I think I drive him nuts.

Aw, shucks. Too bad.

Or, too good as the case may be.

As in yowza, torch-melting, inferno, yikes, wow.

He'd gone all romantic again, actually walking backwards up the stairs, all way to his bedroom while holding my hand. Really romantic actually.

Like I said, Ryan really knows how to treat a guy.

And, I really like the way he treats me, specifically, when I'm the guy, so it's a pretty good match.

We got to the bedroom, and he gave me this stare, all heavy-lidded and ready, and licked his lips.

"So what would you like now, baby?" he asked.

I really wanted to make another polish the floor comment. But I didn't want to get spanked. Or did I?

Wait, what?

I smiled at him.

"Oh, I don't know," I said. "When you were describing how I looked when you thought I was going all sub for you, that was pretty hot."

"I could describe it again, if you'd like," he said.

"Not necessary," I said stepping into his arms. "I remember it."

He kissed me, warm and sweet and slow and drugging. "Oh yeah," I said. "I way remember it."

"You're so hot," he whispered in my ear. "Annoying as fuck, but so hot."

"It's all part of my charm," I said.

"I love you," he said.

I didn't say it back. I bit his bottom lip instead. Then I let go of his lip and backed up a step. I took my jeans off, doing the same sort of hip wiggling, swishy male stripper move that drove him crazy before.

God, I love it when he looked at me like that.

The phone rang.

"Don't answer that," Ryan said.

Except, I had a pretty good guess who that was, and I really wanted to answer it. I looked over at my jeans on the floor, where my phone was still ringing.

Ryan gently led me down on the bed and very carefully laid partially on top of me, mostly on my left side. He nibbled my neck.

"Don't answer that," he said again.

Aw hell, he's right, I thought. If it's Nigel, he can call back.

The phone stopped ringing, Ryan kissed down my chest, back up again, and fastened on a nipple. Suddenly, like always when Ryan focused on me, nothing mattered but Ryan. 

Ryan slowly kissed up one of my legs. Then he stood up my cock, which had gotten hard again, and put just the tip in his mouth. 

"Ahh," I moaned. He felt so good. He had the hottest lips on the planet. The hottest everything on the planet. Ryan was one big ball of hot.

He slipped his lips further down over me, and then up with excruciating slowness. And I mean slow. Torturously slow. So this was still part of the punishment. Oh, but fuck, what a punishment it was.

"Please, Ry, please."

He came all the way off and looked at me.

"Please what?"

"Please, faster."

"No," he said firmly, and went back to that slow sinking over me and even slower dragging his mouth back off.

"You're killing me here," I said.

"Good," he said when he came off on an upstroke. "You deserve it. You're a brat."

Then he sank back down over me.

"Yes, fuck, yes," I said.

Despite how slow he was going—and he never, the fucking cocky bastard, got any faster—I felt the buildup rush into me, where my whole body got hot, and I knew I couldn't last much longer.

He stopped moving completely.

"RY!"

Even slower.

"Ah, fuck, you've got to be kidding me!" My back arched up into him. Which gave me an idea.

I pushed up.

He held me down, hard, with one large hand on my left hip.

Ryan continued his impossibly slow pace while I struggled up against him, as hard as I could, thrusting up, desperate to fuck upwards into his mouth.

"Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan!"

He stopped and smiled at me. "Enough?"

"Oh, God, fuck," I said.

I was a wreck, but in the very best way, brought so close that I was trembling, and then brought back down, too many times to really be coherent or functional anymore.

"Fuck," I said again.

Ryan easily moved me around until I was on my knees, facing the headboard. 

"If you were my sub," Ryan said, and my cock twitched hard. Ryan saw my reaction, so he made his voice even lower, drawing the word out into one sexy, incredibly, lusciously, dirty syllable. "Sub..." Ryan said, and I came.

Ryan laughed.

I let my head thunk on the headboard. Oh fuck, shit, goddamnit. I was sweating. I sagged a little.

"Oh, baby," Ryan said.

He pulled me up so I was up tall on my knees. I so blissed out, in a very drugged-like, alternative universe way, that it was only with a vague part of my brain that I realized he was getting me ready for him.

"May I, baby?" he said softly.

I nodded. Or more like, my neck muscles stopped working totally correctly at the sound of his question, and my head flopped.

Then he pushed inside me.

"Oh, fuck," I said.

A warm, satisfied, masculine chuckle from Ryan. "You say that a lot," he said.

"I'm just trying to give you some direction." 

Ryan laughed. "I love you, Jake."

Then he started to move in and out. I let my eyes drift closed, and let my body hang loose, because Ryan was completely supporting me. I just concentrated on the feel of him, completely inside my body, pulling out, coasting back in.

I focused on my heart, pictured it beating, so close to his, which was thumping a firm rhythm against my back. Two hearts, literally so close together, and two bodies so well fitted as he did his thing to me.

God, I didn't just love him, I LOVED him loved him. I really did.

POV - Ryan

We'd never tried this before, us both kneeling tall, our bodies locked together in so many places. Just like I thought, I was able to go slowly, and stay slow; it was more than amazing, it was something bordering on the spiritual.

Now if only I could ever know if Jake felt the same way. But I couldn't think about that. I had to concentrate on his pleasure.

Jake let his head go slack, so it rested back on my shoulder. I stared at his face. His eyes were closed; I could see his movement under the lids every time I pushed all the way in. His long lashes looked wet and inky black, curling away from his cheeks. And his mouth, oh God, his mouth. His lips were open, and he was breathing heavy.

Jake looked like he was in total ecstasy. 

Fucking gorgeous.

He very slowly, as it was hard work for him to move, brought his right hand up and tried to grab the back of my neck with it. The cast impeded him a little, and he ended up just grabbing a little bit of hair at the nape of my neck, but apparently that was enough for him. Jake moaned, and arched, and pushed his ass back in to me, using his pull on me as his anchor.

"Ryan," he whispered as he made this sinuous little move with his torso. Like he was too boneless and dazed out to move much, but I was driving him into such pleasure he couldn't help it.

I made my strokes in and out of him longer, and slid one hand down the front of him, gently caressing his spent cock, and he moaned.

"Ry," he said. Jake took in a harsh, deep breath, his mouth even wider. Then his eyes opened and he looked at me. "Love. You."

That was my undoing. 

I got a better grip on his hips so I could plunge in and out more fiercely.

"Yes," Jake whispered. "Please Ryan, take anything you want."

"Can you come again?" I asked into his ear.

He shook his head, but he said, "Maybe."

Hearing his willingness and surrender got me sparked up in a whole different way.

"Use a hand to brace against the headboard, baby," I said.

As soon as he did, I started pistoning in and out. The sounds of my body slapping up against him and his quiet moaning helped crank me up even more. 

I was losing my mind, one thin hair from slipping into the grip of a purely animal abyss, but I had the presence of mind to whisper, "You okay, baby?"

"Yeah," he whispered back, and the one word seemed to set him off, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah." Until it sounded like he was breathing it.

I looked down over his shoulder, and he was hard again.

My beautiful, glorious, Jake.

I reached around to stroke him. The second my fingers touched that magnificent length he came, and with a loud shout, I came a second later.

"Now, about those floors," Jake said.

I smiled, still holding us close. Joke all you want babe, I still heard you.

POV - Jake

"I think the groceries are still on the floor," I said.

"What?"

"Whatever you went out to get, Ry. Before you came in, and your truly twisted mind thought that I was kneeling, for you. I think that those bags are still on the floor, where you dropped them."

"You don't have to sound so self-satisfied," Ryan said.

"I can't help it that my boyfriend is such a perv, praying turns him on."

He jumped out of bed to go check on the groceries he bought, and I checked my phone.

Yeah, it was Nigel who called. I checked the time. It was probably too late to call him back now. I was tempted to check the message. Was it just a 'Hello, chap, pleased to meet you, thank you so much for being so pleasant,' message, or was he going to say what I really wanted to hear?

I was betting on the latter.

After all, I was pretty good at sales, and what I was selling, hey, I knew it was hell-ah great, and let's just say I had a vested interest. I was going to talk to Ryan about it as soon as he came back upstairs, but he wore me out, and before he even came back up to the room, I was asleep.

Saturday morning I woke to the smell of bacon. And coffee. Yeah, coffee!

"Ryan," I called.

I heard him run up, thunderous loud stomps taking the stairs two at a time, and he appeared in the doorway with a spatula in his hand.

How cute. He thought I was in trouble or something. He was just wearing a pair of blue gym shorts. YUM.

"You gonna bring me breakfast in bed?"

Suddenly his eyes got all heavy lidded and his gaze smoky. "I don't know. You want breakfast in bed?"

"Nah," I said and jumped up. "I just wanted to see if I could get you to come running."

He turned on his heel. "I have to go check on the bacon."

I jogged after him. "Really, I just wanted to walk behind you to see the best, most firmly muscled ass known to man," I said. "Or one man," I said, and then couldn't help it when a snicker escaped. "One really horny man," I said. I rushed forward and pinched his butt just as we were at the bottom of the stairs.

"Real mature, Jake," Ryan said. "You better be careful, or I'll withhold coffee."

I squinted hard, narrowing my eyelids into little slits as I stared death rays at him. "You wouldn't dare."

He smiled. "Nah, I wouldn't. Come on, babe. I'll serve you breakfast."

"Yeah!" I said. But when we got in the kitchen I looked at the clock. Holy time lapse, Batman! It was eleven o'clock. I ran back upstairs to get my phone. Once I was there I put my jeans back on. There was no point tempting Ryan into ravishing me before I got my coffee and bacon. And maybe pancakes. He was carrying a spatula, I bet that meant pancakes.

I could get used to Ryan. I should have asked him on a non-date two and a half years ago. To think, I could have had him making me bacon all that time.

After breakfast I listened to Nigel's message, and it was just as I'd hoped. Nigel wanted to talk to us about having Ryan design the concert halls he and Liam were building. I tried to talk to Ryan about it, but I could see his mind was on something else. As a matter of fact, he looked downright ashamed. 

It took me a minute to figure it out, but I finally got what it was. I really didn't want to have this conversation now (or maybe ever). I wanted to talk about Nigel and Liam's project.

"Ah... Jake," Ryan started.

Oh shit. 

"Jake," he said again.

I shook my head.

"I'm not into the Dom/Sub scene."

"I know," I said.

"I don't want to go to any dominance clubs or anything," Ryan said.

"I know."

"And I'm not really like that."

I rolled my eyes. Sure thing, big guy, whatever.

"It's just, you looked so gorgeous."

I remembered an old TV commercial we studied in school. I tried to toss my hair back like a female spokes-model from the eighties. "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

Ryan just stared at me.

"Awww, don't be so serious. I'm cute. I'm funny. You want to tie me up and fuck me. I get it. Big deal. Next! Can we talk about what I want to talk about now?"

Ryan shook his head at me. Not, no we can't talk now, but exasperated, my- boyfriend-can't-take-me-seriously head shaking.

I put my hand on his big bicep. "Ry, it's fine. It's not a big deal that you're a perv. I'm just glad I turn you on. I knew from that first non-date on my floor when you made that comment about putting a belt around my neck what floated your boat. It doesn't bother me."

He blushed.

I put my wrists together in front of my chest. "Besides, I look really good in handcuffs."

He raised one eyebrow.

"Are we done with this topic now? Now can we talk about what I want to talk about?"

Ryan nodded. I looked down at his gym shorts. He was hard.

"That handcuff comment really got you, didn't it?" I asked.

"You are the most captivating, fascinating, vexing, enthralling—"

"Aggravating, infuriating, I know, I know, my turn now?"

He smiled at me and pulled me close. "Yeah, baby, what's on your mind?"

"Nigel called."

"Oh."

"They want us to build concert halls for them."

"They're building a couple of concert halls?" Ryan asked.

I shook my head. "No, they're building TWENTY-FOUR concert halls. Here in the States."

"Holy shit."

"And they need an architect."

"Fuck."

"And I've sold them on your super skills. They want to meet with you and have you draw up some ideas. The Jonowskis are going to be over the moon. Over Jupiter. Over YourAnus baby." I stopped talking to do a little disco victory dance. "Oh, I am going to get such a raise. If you get this job I want you to get them to give me a plaque that says 'PR guy of the year'."

"Which you will modestly display on your desk."

"Better fucking believe it. Maybe I should get multiples, so I can put one in the men's room and keep one by my bed."

Ryan shook his head at my general antics. Then I saw a light go on over his head. "That's why you wanted me to pick up their bill."

"Business expense, babe."

He smiled at me again. "Well worth it to see you happy, love."

"We should celebrate," I said.

"We haven't gotten the deal yet," Ryan said.

"You know what the Moroccans say," I said.

"What?"

"Eat dessert first."

*

Turns out Nigel has a wicked sense of humor. Dry as fuck, but what do you expect? He's English. Liam is pretty funny too. I can see them becoming great friends. The four of us went out to dinner, and I got to sell the sizzle while Ryan got to listen to their needs and suggest ideas.

I never got to see Ryan work on the spot before, but with just a few huge sheets of paper and a pencil, he mapped out these amazing structures of curved steel and glass in seconds. 

Ryan's focus was intense. His lips were rolled in, pressed hard together, his brows down. The passion was clear in every muscle as he concentrated; creating something out of nothing with so much speed it was almost like watching video on fast forward.

It was kind of watching a superhero. 

Sexy as fuck.

Apparently there was nothing as sexy as talent. 

Except maybe Ryan with talent, single-mindedly putting all his attention on something. Which was obviously off-the-charts atomic explosion HEL-LO because I was sporting a hard-on the size of Washington Monument.

Glad we're sitting down.

I did my think-about-old-nuns thing, and the bad boy calmed down a little. 

Oh, but blowing Ryan's mind while he draws...ooooo, that will be something to look forward to. And we are going to get twenty-four of these babies. Assuming I can get my head in the game.

Talk about motivation.

Hello salesmanship. 

Not that it took much to wrap up the business part of the dinner. Like everything about Ryan, his ideas and drawings were phenomenal. 

Oh big man. Pay the bill so we can go home.

When we got home I just about ripped Ryan's clothes off. It was like I hadn't had him in days I was so turned on. He had a chance to say, "What?" before I was crushing my lips into his and grinding my cock against him.

"You're so fucking hot," I said when I took a breath. I yanked his shirt over his head. I bit his neck. "My God, you're amazingly talented. You turn me on like, I don't know, an oven." I kissed down his neck. "A microwave oven, a house fire, a nuclear plant, a volcano." 

I ran my hands all over his chest and kissed him again. Grabbed his hair. Licked his ear. "Those drawings were, fucking, atomic. Watching you work made me hard."

He chuckled. "I love you too, baby."

"I have to suck your cock, right now." I was too turned on to think straight. I tugged at his belt. "Take these off."

I tried to stay patient while he opened his belt buckle. I couldn't.

I stuck my tongue in his mouth again, trying to climb into him. Mmm. I broke off the kiss and scratched my nails down his back. Come on, come on, come on. Get your pants off. "You're handsome, and talented, and a terror in the bedroom, and I need you to fuck me, RIGHT NOW."

He got his pants open.

I groaned. "Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Gimme gimme gimme." 

I yanked his pants and underwear down, and plunged his hard dick into my mouth.

Oh yes. Fuck yes.

"Mmmn-phf."

Fuck.

I'm not usually a deep throat kind of guy, but I tilted my head back as much as I could and opened my throat wide and took him all the way down until my nose touched his pubic hair.

His loud groan only served to spur me on. I had my eyes closed, my whole world focusing on how great Ryan's cock felt in my mouth. I wrapped one hand around the base, and I used the other hand on his balls. 

I started going up and down, paying extra attention to the head. Oh, so, so good. When he groaned again, I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He had his head thrown back and looked like a wild animal.

I gently twirled my tongue in and out of the tip, around the sensitive spot where the head meets the shaft, down the underside.

His groan vibrated right through me.

I slowed down for a second, licking, kissing, worshiping. God, he had the best, most perfect cock in the whole world. I sucked off it with an audible pop.

"I am so, so, going to drink you down," I said. 




Not a Date Ch. 04



I waited until he looked down at me, then I licked my lips, purposely teasing him because I wanted him as crazy jacked as I was. Then I put my mouth on his hard shaft again, bobbing up and down.

Take that.

His thighs tightened up so hard, I could feel them contract even though my hands weren't on them.

I hummed onto his dick.

I had one thing, and one thing only on my mind. To give Ryan the orgasm of his life. 

Or orgasms maybe.

So I made my fingers into a ring at the bottom of his cock and squeezed hard.

"Oh fuck, Jake!"

It was a rush to feel so powerful against someone so hugely big in so many ways, but that wasn't why I was doing it. I pulled off him.

I looked up. His nostrils were flaring. His hair was messed up like he ran his hands through it. His fists were clenched.

He was... fierce.

I reached my tongue out and gave him the barest of licks on the very, very tip of his slit.

"Aauuuuuggggh!"

"Gotcha," I said. Then I sat back a little, put his dick on my tongue, and opened my mouth wide. The sight must have set him off. I let go of my squeeze hold on him and he immediately shot warm spurts into my mouth.

Most. Intoxicating. Thing. Ever.

I swallowed everything and then used the back of my wrist to make sure I didn't have any left on the edges of my mouth.

I looked at Ryan. He looked positively wrung-out. 

"Nice," I said. "Ryan milkshake. Can I get that in chocolate?"

He dropped to the floor and lay down next to me.

"You should draw for me more often," I said. "I could model for you in the nude or something."

Ryan just looked at me.

"Awww, you're speechless. I blew you away."

He smiled at that one. 

"Ha ha," I said. Then I started to giggle. Sometimes I crack myself up.

I lay down next to him.

"You know, Ry. You're not only a great appetizer. You also make a pretty good dessert."

"Glad to serve," he said.

Then he looked over at me. His gaze got warmer than ever before. Love.

I reached out and held his hand.

"Me too," I said quietly.

*

Sunday, I woke up to the smell of coffee. There was a tray on the bedside table with coffee, and eggs, and waffles with a small scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. The tray had a small vase with a single red rose in it.

Ryan had brought me breakfast in bed.

I heard the sound of the shower running.

I went in the bathroom and opened the shower door, careful to hold my right arm behind me and not get my cast wet.

"Morning," I said.

"Hi, beautiful."

"Breakfast looks great."

He smiled at me.

"Must have been some blow job, huh?"

Ryan closed the glass door between us.

I left the bathroom to eat my breakfast in bed, but I thought I heard the word 'brat'.

I was just putting a forkful of waffle and ice cream in my mouth when Ryan came out. His arms were raised because he was toweling off his hair and he was just wearing a small white, fuck, hand towel wrapped around his waist. It barely came down to his thighs and a huge patch of hip was exposed.

"Yum," I said around a mouthful of food.

Ryan looked at me. "Good?"

"Oh yeah," I said in the most overly lecherous voice I possibly could.

He ignored me, and went to his closet.

"Ryyyyyyan," I sang. "Thank you for breakfast."

"No problem, baby."

I was watching Ryan's ass as he bent over getting dressed, and thinking about that blow job I gave him last night. Between those two things it was pretty hard not to plow through my breakfast without really tasting it. I forced myself to slow down and chew.

I finished eating. Ryan finished dressing. We had a few minutes of mellow morning. He wrapped my cast. I showered, dressed. Then Ryan lowered me onto the bed, and carefully got mostly on top of me. He gently put my hands up near the side of my head and pinned me down.

"Babe?"

"What?" I asked.

"Let's not give the Nigel/Liam account to the Jonowskis," Ryan said.

"What?"

"You found it."

"Yeah..."

"And we haven't told anyone about it yet," he said.

"Ah, yeah..."

"What if we went into business by ourselves."

Holy shit.

"It's not that I need to be top dog or anything," Ryan said.

I looked to either side at my pinned down wrist on one side and fingers on the other and rolled my eyes. "Yah-huh."

"Or I need to be in control or anything."

I made a sarcastic cough. "Of course not."

"But think, just us."

"Ry, that would require office space, incorporation fees, licensing, advertising budgets." I went to wipe a hand over my forehead, but he still had my hands held down.

"We could work from home and rent shared office space if we needed to meet a new client. If we get this contract, this alone—" 

"We'd still need a start-up budget," I said.

"I could sell my house," Ryan said.

I stared at him.

"Where the fuck would you live?"

He looked at me.

Oh shit. Holy hole in the donut, Batman.

"But you love this house, Ry."

"Not as much as I love you, Jake. Not as much as I want to build a future with you. Not as much as I want this."

I just wanted to make sure I understood him.

"You want to move in with me. In my place."

He nodded.

"Ah... okay."

He smiled at me.

"I should give you a ring or something," he said.

"Especially if it's a cock ring," I said.

He shook his head.

"So we're going in to business," I said.

"It's up to you."

"Is it the funny business?"

He shook his head.

"Do I get to introduce you as my partner?"

His expression got soft. "Yes," he whispered.

Oh fuck. Involuntarily, I thrust up into him.

I didn't mean it that way. But then he was kissing down my chest. Oh God, he felt so good. Oh God, he's going to put that hot, wet mouth on my dick.

"Yeah, I'll start a business with you," I said. "Yeah, you can move in with me."

"Good," he said as he undid my fly.

"I just want to get my hands on your bacon," I said.

*

"That was the hottest sex I've ever had in my life," I said.

Ryan looked over at me and positively glowed.

"With someone else, I mean. I've had some pretty awesome jack sessions by myself."

His lips twitched up at the side. They kept almost twerking up and back down. He was smiling and trying to fight it.

"What's on the schedule for today, big man? I've already had breakfast in bed and sex in bed, so... pretty much all of my daily needs are met. Unless you want to bring me video games in bed? I guess I could go for some World of Warcraft or something."

He shook his head at me.

My phone rang. I hopped up to get it. Nigel. Business voice time.

"'Alo chap," I said in a fake English accent. Oops. So much for serious.

I nodded as I listened. "Uh-huh, uh-huh, you bet. Absolutely. Yes. Great. Ryan and I will get the paperwork, and we'll have it to you by tomorrow afternoon. Thanks, great. What? Oh yeah, I do. Let me talk to Ryan about it, and I'll call you back."

"We got it?" Ryan asked.

I pumped a fist into the air. "YES!" I told him what they had in mind for their budget to pay us and for building the buildings, and he whistled. I smiled. "Welcome to the big time."

"Seriously."

"What was the thing you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Huh? Oh. They need a place to stay. They're living at a hotel. They just got here Friday."

"You got them the very first day they came off the boat?"

I flipped back my hair again. "What can I say? I'm cute, funny, great to fuck... and lucky."

"Damn."

I smiled at him.

"I don't know about the great to fuck part," Ryan said.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Do I have to prove it to you?"

Ryan smiled at me. "Yeah, babe. That would be good."

I caressed his waist.

"But I think you're right about the lucky part, because you're about to get very, very lucky."

"Aw shucks, aw no, not again?"

Ryan's eyes got heavy lidded and he let out a low growl. "Oh yeah. Again."

*

I was lying with my head on Ryan's washboard abs, practicing my terrible English accent.

"Your stomach makes a 'orrible pillow, mate. Bloody dreadful."

"What was it you were going to ask me?"

"Huh?"

"At the end of your conversation with Nigel?"

"Oh shit." I sat up. "Yeah. They need a place to stay. How about letting them stay here?"

"What?" Now he sat up.

"Think about it, Ry. Don't sell the house. Rent it furnished."

"Huh. What about start-up money?"

"We could get a business loan," I said. "With a client like that in the pocket, it wouldn't be hard, and we wouldn't need much."

"Mmn-hmm."

I held my breath for a minute.

"And... or... you could sell the piano."

"WHAT?"

"You don't even play, Ry."

"I love that piano."

"You love the house."

Ryan jumped off the bed. "I love that piano more."

The 'you prick' at the end of that sentence was implied.

"Where did you think you were going to put it if you sold this house? In my little apartment?"

"Yeah, in your front room," Ryan said.

"Tight fit."

Ryan smiled at that.

I smiled back at him. I shrugged. "Sorry, man. It was just a suggestion."

"You're right. It's just, that was the first luxury item I bought when I really made it. It's just... just..."

He came over to me and put his hand on the side of my face.

"We'll buy another one, when we're moguls," he said.

"Yeah, one that has a pinstripe, or no, really cool batwings, like super, extended, extra-large, batmobile piano."

He rolled his eyes.

I held up my hands like a frame. "Dude, picture it. Shiny black fins. The piano bench could look like a car seat. Total collector's item."

Ryan made a quiet snorting sound and shook his head.

"Fine," he said.

"So should I call Nigel and Liam and tell them we have a place they can rent?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Tell them."

*

The next week passed by in a blur of activity. I had to catch up on last week's work. I had to answer everybody's questions about my cast and about being beat up. (Yes, I defended myself like a champ. Yes, my boss came and rescued me like a hero.) 

I also had to get everything in order for setting up our new business. Then I had to support Ryan while he started his work after work. We got his clothes out of his house and into my place. We spent some time giving Nigel and Liam a hand getting settled.

With all that going on, Ryan and I only had a chance to have sex like, once a day.

But I like being busy, so it's all good. 

I woke up Saturday morning. Warm spot behind me. I flung my hand out. No Ryan.

I took in a deep breath, sniffing as hard as I could. Ryan's awesome male scent next to me. Coffee coming from the kitchen. No bacon. No noises.

"Ry?"

No Ry.

Fuckshitmotherfuckin' Riddler-loving bastard. 

I pulled on a pair of boxers off the floor and went to the kitchen.

Post-it note on the coffee pot. 'Don't be grouchy, baby. I had some errands to do. I made you coffee.'

I crumpled the yellow note into a ball and threw it across the room and stomped. "God damn it. You know I fucking hate it when—"

I stopped mid-rant. I was thinking, I hate it when I can't say 'I love you' first thing in the morning.

Holy shit.

I needed coffee.

I poured myself a cup. "Oh, wow. This smells really good." I took a sip. Better. But not that much better; I couldn't believe I thought that.

"Holy Toledo."

I put my cup down and tapped my lip. Hhhhm. I looked around me. I guess part of me felt like we were just playing house. I was flying by the seat of my pants. Taking it one day at a time. Which was pretty much my way about everything.

But boy, did I like waking up next to him.

And I hated not waking up next to him.

Well shit.

More coffee.

"Too big a puzzle for me," I said out loud. I looked around to see if Ryan had made me something for breakfast before he left. Nope.

I opened a box of Fruit Loops and stuck my left hand in the box. I smashed a whole bunch into my mouth. "It's no big deal," I said to myself around the cereal. "Duh. He'll be back."

POV - Ryan

I thought all this was probably moving too fast for Jake. I wanted to do something to put everything on an even keel for him. To help him feel everything was okay. It's not like it's a hundred percent normal for two people to move in together after dating for such a short period of time. Yeah, we've known each other for years, but we've still been dating under a month.

After having Jake stay at my house I never wanted to let him go. The Nigel deal was just the perfect excuse. I wanted Jake so completely, so much, and it felt so right to keep going. Jake didn't necessarily feel a hundred percent like I did.

But, oh fuck, when he said, 'Can I call you my partner?' I thought my heart was going to burst right then. It was like an arrow shot straight from my heart to my cock. Fuck, that was hot. Ah, shit, I'm getting hard remembering it right now. Fuck.

I stopped walking to take a few deep breaths. I was right in front of a jewelry store. Huh. I stared at the display. Without even consciously thinking about what I was doing, I walked in. 

"Can I help you, sir?"

"Just looking."

Except then I saw it. A platinum ring with two slight curves on top. Very slightly reminiscent of...Batman.

I smiled wide. Now, my boy would love that. As a matter of fact, so did I. Oh shit, that's hot. 

"Yeah," I said when I caught the clerk's eye. "I'll take two of these."

I finished my errands. I was nervous walking home. My idea was to find things that would make Jake feel less pressured, not more. The rings in their small fancy jewelry boxes felt like they were burning a hole in my pocket. 

Fuck, I bought rings. It's not like I'm going to do anything with them now. Just repeat that to yourself over and over so you don't break out in hives before you get back to Jake's place. Wait. Our place.

I put my bags down and used my key to open the door. I could get used to this.

"What you got there, Charlie Brown?" Jake asked me.

I held up my bags. "You'll see." I walked into the kitchen. He followed me like an eager puppy. Too cute.

He started helping me unpack. "Fried chicken, cole slaw, crackers, pack of Bud Light, yes!"

"I thought we'd have a picnic."

"Awesome," Jake said. He looked in the other bag. "Holy shit. You bought us a Wii."

"Yeah, I can't believe you don't already have one. No boyfriend of mine is going to go through life without being able to play tennis in his living room."

"Aw shit, and look at all these games. And basketball for my Playstation! Yes!" 

Jake jumped on me, half hugging me from the side. I laughed.

"Chill, baby, chill. They're for both us. This place is smaller than my house. There are bound to be days we get stir crazy. I'm sure if I whoop your ass at virtual ice hockey, it will go a long way toward keeping the peace."

"Whoop my ass?"

"Yeah," I said, and looked at him. "You might be good at those pansy ass video games where all you're using is your thumbs." I mimicked holding a small video console and jamming my thumbs down on the buttons. "But you can bet any game where physical activity is involved, you're going down."

Jake gave me a wicked, wicked smile. "Wanna bet?"

"Yeah," I said. "Winner gets to top."

*

POV - Jake

Of course Ryan is going to win at a game like Jai Lai. All frickin' upper body strength. Who invented a stupid game like that anyway? It's totally un-American. No fair. Except, holy flaming torches, now he's looking at me like I'm dinner. Yikes! Maybe losing isn't so bad after all.

It's not if you win or lose.

It's how you play the game, right?

Bring it on.

*

POV - Ryan

I had to spend most of Saturday afternoon working on the Nigel project. I set out a schedule for myself. Five hours a day, seven days a week for the first three weeks, then I was going to quit Jonowski and Sons and work on—shit our firm didn't even have a name yet—our own stuff full-time.

Jake repeatedly came in to my office. Or, what I was using as an office, the tiny area of his small guest room where we had squeezed my drafting table. He would sort of saunter and parade around in a pair of tight boxers and bend over, pretending to look for something, and then leave.

Ahhhhhggggggg.

I swear.

Here he comes again. La di da. Fresh from the shower, wearing nothing but a blue towel wrapped around his waist.

Ggggrrrrr.

Concentrate, Ryan. I looked down at my drawing.

I can't see you, scrumptious. I'm working. I already fucked you twice today. Leave me alone.

"Ry, have you seen my..." But he opened his towel and started pulling it back and forth over his shoulders, rubbing it to dry his back, and I couldn't hear the rest of what he said.

Automatically, I stood up and went to him and put my hands on his waist.

"What, baby?" I asked and kissed him. Oh God, so sweet. Oh fuck. "You taste like chocolate."

"I had a Hershey's kiss on the way over here. I'm looking for my Fantastic Four comic book. Have you seen it? I thought I left it in here."

Like I can see anything but you.

"Oh, there it is!"

Jake gave me a kiss on the cheek. He wrapped the towel firmly around his waist. He grabbed the comic book off the daybed and left.

Oh. 

He shines brighter than the stars. When he leaves he takes some of the light away with him.

I watched the open doorway.

I put a hand over my heart. It hurt. He's an absolutely perfect in-the-moment type of guy. Like a kid riding down a water slide in the middle of summer. 

He's never even said I love you.

Everyone knows that what you say in the throes of sex doesn't really count.

He's a meteor streaking across my sky. I'm just a poor fool down on the ground.

I have to give him room to do his own thing in his own way. I have to grow here too. If I'm as mature as I think I am, then I can wait. I've got concert halls to conceive, a business to build.

Focus, Ryan.

You can accept where he is. Who he is.

Back to work.

Oh, but it's hard to work when I really just want to run my hands all over Jake. Wet Jake, naked Jake, lovely Jake.

My Jake.

Back to work.

*

POV - Jake

Ryan is hiding something from me. You'd think I wouldn't notice, but I did. It's like when my parents used to try and hide my Christmas presents and would think I didn't know they already bought them.

At first, I thought it was that he had something planned for the one month anniversary of our first not-a-date. That would be like him, some grand, sweeping romantic gesture to mark one month. But no, that was yesterday and no peep from him, just an ordinary work day, with him working like a dog, and me pretending I'm working like a dog.

I thought it would be kind of tough, him living here, but nope, really easy. Man, he even does my laundry. He says you have to separate the whites and the darks or all the whites get grey. Who has time for that shit? What do I care if my socks look a little dingy? They're still clean, right? Nope. Ryan appropriated laundry duty for both of us. Hey, big man, knock yourself out. 

You know what I learned? The sight of him doing domestic stuff is frickin' awesomely sexy. He liked coming home and seeing me shirtless on my knees? Fuck, I like coming home and seeing him doing my laundry. First time it happened, I said, "That's worth a blow job."

Of course, he just shook his head at me, like he does all the time when I'm being a wise-ass. But I thought it was pretty funny, so now I say it all the time. He does the dishes. "That's worth a blow job; that's one more blow job in your b.j. bank."

I don't think he thinks it's as funny as I think it is. But one day we're going to have a marathon weekend, and he's going to cash in on all those domestic frequent flyer points he's earning, and I'm going to have a blast. So to speak.

Which all brings me back to the fact that life with Ryan is much better than life without Ryan. Except that he's hiding something. Which is driving me freaking NUTS. I hate it when I'm not in on a secret. 




Not a Date



There was a lilt in his voice, like maybe he was serious, maybe not.

I groaned a yes and ground my ass against him.

He laughed.

"You feel, so, soooo amazing," I said.

"Imagine how good it could have been if it was actual date."

*

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