16 comments/ 51415 views/ 28 favorites Jim and Chad By: GnarledWood [Author's Notes: This story is dedicated to a co-worker. Chad, if you ever happen to read this (which I seriously doubt) and figure out that you're the one I'm writing about, please don't hate me for the fantasy and please continue to be friends with me. It's just a fantasy that will never be acted out in our very happy yet separate, monogamous, straight lives with our own families. I know that we would both be devastated if the events described early in this story really happened; however, if they did, maybe this could be the story of how we become more than just friends as we rebuild our lives. For the rest of you reading this story, I apologize in advance for letting you know that this is a fantasy, since knowing this seems to destroy the story for some. But no matter who you are, my hope is that you will get drawn into the twists and turns of the story and completely forget about this particular paragraph.] * Prologue I started with a mid-Atlantic company a few years ago. The company was small but growing enough each year that management finally had the resources and the need to build a new building. Unfortunately, in the move from the old building to the new building, all of us workers got demoted from our own quiet offices to some spot in a noisy cube farm. None of us liked the situation, but it was either put up with it or leave. Shortly after we moved into our new building, Chad was hired by the manager of a nearby group. Although he sat only a row away from me, I never heard him in the office noise. He seemed to be quiet and shy. I noticed that he was a good worker: he was in on time each day (if not early), took a short lunch, and left work only after he had put in a full day. This was quite unlike a number of other people in the office, and I respected him for it. I also noticed one other thing: Chad was really good looking. He was one of those rare people whose face was perfectly formed and symmetrical, with a good jaw line for a nice-looking, rectangular front and side view, and with well-groomed, short brown hair that made him look athletic. He always wore loose clothing so I couldn't really figure out what his body was like; however, I could tell that he had some fairly well developed shoulders under all that clothing. Although I could never get an accurate measurement, he seemed to be just under 6 feet tall, because his eyes were a little lower than mine if we stood to discuss something. To me, no matter which way you looked at Chad, he was just downright good looking. Chad was also approachable and you could easily start a conversation with him. He also had a good sense of humor, but I quickly discovered that the humor wasn't his second best feature: Chad's second best feature was a bright "megawatt" smile that either made you weak in the knees or insanely jealous. Unfortunately for me, it was the former rather than the latter. So how did I collect all these impressions about Chad? It was the only reason why I ever liked cube farms: when we moved in, Chad's cube wasn't quite finished so I got to catch glimpses of him whenever I went anywhere else in the building. As with every good situation, however, they finally finished Chad's cube, so I didn't get to see as much of him as I would have liked to. Damn cube farms. As time went on, Chad became more involved with the people around his cube. I heard him every now and then, and I liked knowing that he was becoming popular. Of course, with his good looks and affable demeanor, he couldn't help but be popular. Everyone liked Chad, and he genuinely seemed to like everyone else. He wasn't a stuck-up snot like some of the other good looking (and not so good looking) men and women that I had to work with. Over a number of months, I got to work with Chad on a few projects, unfortunately not on a regular basis, but enough that I could get a better look at him. During our project working sessions, I noticed Chad's eyes were a medium to dark blue depending on what he wore. They made me nervous and jittery, and I had to work pretty hard to control my reactions. Needless to say, I seemed to lose my concentration when working with Chad. I always hoped that I wouldn't embarrass myself around him, but I'm sure there were some times when he thought my brain must have been scrambled or something close to that. As part of a group from the office, we played some golf together. He was damn good, and when he got his slice under control, he put a large number of people to shame. Unfortunately for me, I was never much competition. Although I tried to keep myself from doing so, I was also able to observe Chad's body during these games. He wasn't flabby or anything like that, but obviously he didn't work out and that made it easier on me. I didn't work out either and it showed. I had loved life and life had rewarded me with a spare tire around the middle. The image I saw in the mirror always made me wish that I had turned down that extra slice of pizza and that second (or third) beer. I wish I could have thought of Chad in a different manner but I seemed to be hooked on him from day one. He was one of those very few with good looks and who was also personable, genuinely interested in other people, and had a good sense of humor. In short, he was the complete package. He was one of the very few guys that got put on my "short list." Being on my short list meant that, even though I was happily married, I'd jump into bed with him if he offered. Up to this point in my life, I had always thought of myself as straight, but with a few kinks, and Chad seemed to bring out that kinky side a little more each day. Unfortunately, about a year later, Chad got married, so I sadly had to remove him from the list because I knew it could never happen. I guess my list was destined to have only the two actors and one actress that had been on it before Chad came along. Life continued rocking along as happily as it always had. My hair was beginning to turn a silvery gray around the temples and my wife was ever so jealous. She had always said that men got more distinguished and better looking with age. To her credit, however, she wasn't aging at all. Into our early forties, her face had no wrinkles or lines and she kept herself in good shape, except for those few extra pounds she couldn't get rid of after having two kids. We were set for the rest of our lives together. Unfortunately, I didn't know how short our time together would really be. One relatively warm April evening I was driving home from work wondering why the traffic in our section of the suburbs had been such a problem. Driving up to my house, I noticed a state trooper's car parked in front. As I drove into the driveway, a couple of troopers got out of the car. To make a long story short, I found out from them that I was "suddenly single." A drunk dump truck driver had fallen asleep, run a red light and taken out several cars. Unfortunately, my family was in the first car to be hit. Apparently none of them had suffered because of the force of the impact. From that point forward, my emotions ran wild through hurt, pain, anger, despair, and, finally, loneliness. Life had become a disorienting mess. It was as if I had been transported to a part of the country I didn't know, where everything was covered in a constant fog. There's a little light but everything was still cold, damp, and not quite visible. And now I had to function without the lover, companion, and family that had been with me for the last fourteen years. About a month after this ordeal began, Chad dropped by my cube, leaned in and said "Sorry to hear about your family." I got a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, and I barely managed to croak out a "Thanks." Although I don't cry easily, that night I went home and cried the most that I had ever cried. When I realized it, not only was I finally grieving the major loss of my family, but I was also grieving the fact that I would never be able to get to know Chad better. Over the next six months, I coasted through the lawsuits and work and my life in general. The bright, long days of summer kept me from becoming too depressed, but by the time October rolled around, those days were getting shorter and a full-fledged depression began to set in. Also, the change off Daylight Saving Time was about to happen, and I knew that less sunlight would probably send me over the edge. So I made major changes to my life. I sold the house because it had way too many memories and bought a large, top floor, three bedroom, two bath condo overlooking the upper end of the Chesapeake Bay. I also visited my family doctor and asked about anti-depressants. He said that he would prescribe some, but on one condition: I had to start a daily regimen of exercise and join a health club. Since I had always thought of health clubs, specifically the showers in health clubs, as "too public," I purchased a treadmill and a weight machine and began to exercise at home. I still joined a health club that had a number of racquetball courts and began to relearn racquetball, but I only played there--I always took the showers at home. The health club is where I met Robert, an incredibly good-looking stud that was also a manager. Robert became a "close friend" and I enjoyed his company from time to time, but that's a different story. On the exercise program, I began to loose inches around my middle and began to add some muscles in my chest and back, an area that I had not been proud of for most of my life. I also began to get better definition in my leg and arm muscles. I say "began" because at my age it took a lot longer and a lot more effort to get everything looking like I wanted it to look. With the exercise and the anti-depressants, I got through the fall and winter months, especially those times around the holidays when you're with extended family who all too often liked to remember what life was like before "the accident." I didn't make it through with flying colors, but I did make it through. I also got some unexpected help from Robert in that cold, snowy February around the time that would have been my wife's birthday. Now I only had to get through the first anniversary of the accident. I was muddling through April when I overhead someone in the next cube say that Chad was having problems in his marriage. Although I didn't hear the whole story, apparently his wife wanted to move away to California and he wanted to stay. About two weeks later, I heard through the grapevine that she had filed for divorce and moved to California without him. I felt really sorry for Chad and wondered why anyone would treat him so stupidly. A couple of weeks later, when I finally saw him in his cube again, I stopped by, leaned in and said, "Sorry to hear about your marriage. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm available." The first look he gave me was something I had never seen from Chad before, and when I figured it out, I realized that I had hit a really sore point and he was pretty pissed that I had mentioned it. But the look quickly softened and he said "Thanks." Based on his tone of voice, I knew he'd never take me up on it. After that short encounter, I realized that I still hadn't learned the lesson that sometimes it's just better to keep your mouth shut. After work on a Monday in early June, Chad and I happened to be walking out to the parking lot at the same time. I asked him how it was going, and he replied with the standard "Okay." We walked a little further in silence, and as I was about to say good-bye and turn to go to my car, Chad asked me where I had been working out. He and a few other people had noticed how I had changed and he was interested in doing the same thing. He also said that he needed to find a place to relieve some of the tension and frustration he was having with the divorce proceedings. I explained that I had my own exercise equipment but that I had also joined a health club that had good equipment and a lot of racquetball courts. He was disappointed that I had my own equipment but seemed interested in the club. When I suggested that he come to the club as my guest that coming Friday, he was tentative, but still accepted. On Friday, I was excited about meeting Chad at the health club. We had planned to meet at 9pm, I'd show him around a while, and then he'd leave and I'd play my usual single-person game of racquetball from ten to eleven. I was genuinely interested in helping this guy find a place to relax through some exercise. Chad was right on time, and we got through the club quickly. I showed him around the areas I knew (racquetball courts and weight rooms) and then pointed to the other areas that I didn't frequent (the showers). Once we had finished, we walked up to the front desk and I introduced him to Robert. On hearing Chad's name, Robert looked over at me, flashed a quick grin, turned back to Chad and said "Jim's mentioned you a couple of times. Glad to finally meet you." They shook hands, and when Chad turned to look at me, I turned a bright red. "Robert and I play racquetball against each other sometimes, and I was hoping that I could get you to play sometime as well," I responded, hoping that this would cover what I really had said to Robert about Chad. After Chad turned away, I shot a disapproving look back at Robert. Of course he ignored the look, but at least he changed the conversation to the features, benefits, and costs of a membership. After a minute, Robert looked at me and said with a grin, "You can go now. I'll take it from here." Chad added, with an even bigger grin and a chuckle, "I'm a big boy, you can leave now . . . Dad." I laughed out loud and knew that it was meant as a joke, but I was still somewhat hurt by the comment. Yes, I was a fair amount older than Chad, but I wasn't that old. As I walked away, Robert called out "You have court 7 tonight." Ah, yes, Court 7 and all of its memories. Monday morning couldn't come quickly enough. When it did, I stopped by Chad's cube to see what had happened after I left. With a somber look on his face, Chad told me that the entry and monthly fees were too much for him right now, but he'd keep it in mind later. I was disappointed, but an idea popped into my head. I asked him to come into a nearby conference room for a minute. He was wary for a moment, but hopefully I overcame his hesitance when I offered to pay for his first year on the condition that he play a racquetball game against me each week. He said he'd think about it, and that's all I could ask for. The next day Chad was in his cube and I didn't bother him. I did happen to see him a couple of times in a nearby conference room having private phone conversations. Toward the end of the day, he came to my cube, plopped down in a chair, and quietly accepted my offer for a membership at the health club. He also muttered something about needing to draw a face on a racquetball and hit it really hard many, many times. I grinned and when he saw me, he blushed and said that he really didn't mean it. I quietly and jokingly said, "Like hell you did." He grinned back at me and laughed, and the sparkle in his eye acknowledged that I got what he meant. We discussed meeting times and found out that Friday evenings were convenient for both of us, especially since neither of us had much else of a life at this point. So we agreed to meet at the club that coming Friday to work out all the details. That Friday, we met, got him signed into the club, and played our first game against each other. Although Chad was younger, I was better and beat him easily. But little did I know that this wouldn't be the case for much longer. As a younger guy, he readily adapted to what little I really knew about the game, and he taught me some new moves as well. As we went through the summer, I realized that Chad's body was slimming down in the waist and getting better defined through the chest, arms, and upper back. Because he was wearing shorts, I noticed that his leg muscles were getting larger and better defined, especially the large muscles on the fronts and backs his thighs. His legs also looked a hairier to me than before, but they had probably always been that hairy and I was just studying them more closely now. As I found out later, he had been to the club almost five nights every week since early June, and his body showed it. Now in late August, I found that I couldn't play against him without getting some sort of "bedroom thoughts". The perfect face finally had the perfect body to go with it. All I could think of was what a moron his ex-wife must have been. The first Friday in early September, I noticed Chad's game was off. Well, actually it was as if he weren't even there. I won two games in about thirty minutes instead of the hour and a half, best 2-of-3 grudge matches that we usually played. On the way out to our cars that night, I asked if there was anything he wanted to talk about. He quietly said, "The divorce was final today." Under the dim parking lot lights, I saw his eyes begin to glisten from the tears, and all I could say was "Sorry, bud." He turned, put his hands on the top of his car, and leaned into them. It was then I noticed that he had begun to cry quietly. After a few seconds, I couldn't help myself. I put a hand on his shoulder, slowly turned him around to face me, and pulled him into a hug with his arms over my shoulders and my arms around his middle. Holding him gently, I said "Let it go, bud. Let it go." I was kind of surprised when he leaned into me and continued the quiet crying for another three or four minutes. During that time, a whole range of emotions flooded me. First there was anger that anyone would treat this great guy so shabbily. Then there was a sadness that he had to go through this. But the final emotion made me feel more guilty than I had in years. Because of the situation, I was glad that I had stood in such a way that only our upper bodies were touching. With the heat of his body against mine, the strength of the muscles in his back where I held him, and the touching that I had wanted to do for almost four years, my cock got the hardest it had been in some time. He was a good friend who really needed a shoulder to cry on, but I had violated that friendship by getting a hard-on. Geez, I felt so unworthy. Luckily for me, Chad never knew about it. Had he discovered it, he probably would have decked me right there and never spoken to me again. And at that point in my life, I needed his friendship way more than he needed mine, so I kept all those feelings to myself. After the crying subsided, Chad slowly pushed away from me. His eyes still glistened from the tears, but he looked more relaxed than he had in a while. Maybe holding him and letting him get it out of his system was what he needed. He looked at how wet he had gotten the shoulder of my t-shirt and apologized. My response was "That's what friends are for." I paused for a couple of seconds, then made the wild ass comment, "Now go home, take a good shower, have a beer, jack off to some porn on the Internet, and get a good night's sleep. You need it." He looked surprised at my comment, but I reached over and ruffled the hair on his head and said, "Go. Get out of my sight and have some fun for a change." He stared at me for about another five seconds as if he were going to ask a question, but then he told me "Good night", got in his car and drove away. After I watched him turn the corner, I got into my car and pulled away. I was going to go home to do exactly what I had told him to do, but my porn tonight was going to have to be someone that looked as close to Chad as I could find. During that early September, our friendship changed much for the better. I gave in to Chad's requests and began working out with him at the club on weeknights. More than ever before, he started joking around, playfully punching me, and running into me in the racquetball court. Because of the change, my jack off sessions in the shower at home afterwards got more intense. Before I did anything stupid that would have damaged our friendship, my job forced me to go on travel for a couple of weeks. Jim and Chad On the Friday night before I left, I cornered Robert away from everyone else in the place and said "I'm going on travel for a couple of weeks. Will you keep Chad out of trouble, especially a couple of weeks from now on 'gay Friday'?" Robert assured me he would, but he flashed that killer smile of his and I felt uneasy. "And would you please not fuck him before I get a chance?" I added. When he saw the seriousness in my face, he got serious as well and responded, "I know what Chad means to you. I would never do anything to screw up your relationship." Relieved, I added, "Thanks, bud. I owe you." With that statement, Robert flashed his killer smile again, looked quickly down at my crotch and back up, and said "Paybacks are hell, you know." I felt a tingling in my crotch and ass from that quick look, and decided to leave before it became too obvious how I'd have to pay him back. Being away was difficult, but work kept me busy through all waking hours. We were deploying a new, multi-site, multi-million dollar software system and being the technical lead meant I had to be there for everything: the predeployment user meetings, the tiresome meetings with management to endlessly discuss risk management, the actual installation followed by immediate bug fixes, and the closing "training" (aka, gripe) sessions. And this had to happened at three locations, Washington, D.C., Dallas, and Sacramento, so I built up quite a bit of airline miles during those two weeks, too. The trip had been a success, and I came home on the first Sunday in October. I was relieved that everything had gone so well, but was exhausted from the 90 to 100 hour work weeks and weekends. Because I really wanted to see Chad the next day, I went to bed early. Soon I was in one of the deepest and most relaxed sleeps that I had been in for a while. As I got to work early that Monday, some people had heard about our success and were congratulating me and the rest of the team. The rest of the morning went by quickly with people dropping by and the inevitable e-mail cleanup chore that I was faced with. At lunch I looked around but Chad was nowhere to be found. I asked one of the people in the cube near him, and they said something about Chad taking a vacation. They weren't really sure where or why he'd gone, because he'd left work abruptly the previous Thursday afternoon. After hearing this, I felt kind of selfish. Of all the people in the office, his face was the one I needed to see and his voice was the one I needed to hear. He wasn't here and I felt really empty because of it. I left a couple of messages on his cell phone, but no response. It was almost as if he was avoiding me. As the days progressed, someone told me that Chad was in the office, but I never heard him and couldn't find him. He seemed to be working in a number of locations both in the office and outside. And then it happened: on Friday afternoon I saw Chad in the parking lot, but instead of coming to see me, he got in his car and drove away. My suspicions about him avoiding me had just been confirmed. I watched helplessly as he turned the corner and drove out of sight. I barely made it to my car before losing it. Luckily no one came out of the building during that time, so I didn't have to explain why I was crying even though I'd had a successful past few weeks. Without Chad in the picture, not much else really mattered. As I walked into the club later that night, Robert spotted me and saw the rotten mood written all over my face. He looked at the schedule and said, "You have Court 7 tonight with me as your racquetball partner. Chad called and said he wouldn't be in tonight." When he looked up again, he saw the beginning of tears in my eyes and said "Go on in, I'll be there in a couple of minutes." As I waited for Robert, my mind raced through thoughts about why Chad was acting the way he was. It all led back to what Robert had probably said. When Robert arrived, I asked him to tell me what he had told Chad the previous week. He had told Chad about "gay Friday", the first odd numbered Friday of each month where management turned a blind eye to the "No Sex in This Building" rules. He told Chad that good-looking guys were hit on heavily by other guys on those nights and that he might want to stay away. Robert had also added that if Chad ever wanted to "experiment" with another guy, then Chad should let him know so that he could arrange it with someone they both knew. After Robert's last statement, I suddenly realized that I was the only person common to both of them. Neither had traveled in the other's social circle until they met at the club, so in one statement Robert had let Chad know that I was at least bisexual, if not gay. As I slowly began to boil from that revelation, I asked him, "When did you tell Chad this?" Robert responded, "It was during the day on . . . I believe it was Thursday afternoon of last week." It was at that point I lost it and did something really stupid: acting on sheer anger, my 6'1" 205 pound, nicely-muscled older body pushed and pinned a 6'3" 235 pound, well-tuned, very muscular, younger body up against the wall. I was beyond pissed, and starting yelling at Robert about how he had cost me a really close friendship. I yelled that Chad has been avoiding me all week and drove away when he saw me today. I yelled that I should somehow make him hurt for this, because I hurt so bad from it all. With my last statement, I saw the look on Robert's face change from shock and sadness to anger. Within a second, I found myself being pushed around and back against the wall, all so quickly that it took my breath away. While pinning my arms to the wall, Robert moved down within about two inches of my face and hissed, "You don't know half the pain I've been going through watching you two these last couple of months. You don't see me anymore. You don't have time to be with me anymore. I hurt but I cover it up because I know you're probably the happiest you've ever been. So don't tell me that I should be hurt because of this. I am already hurting." After a few seconds of trying to understand what he had said and meant, my face and eyes must have told him that I was sorry because he loosened his death grip on my arms. I quietly said, "Sorry, bud. I never knew. I thought we got together only for the sex." Robert let go of me, turned away, and responded quietly, "It was only the sex until I saw how happy you and Chad were all of last month. Then thinking back to July made me realize that I wanted more than just sex." After a few moments, I walked up behind Robert and scratched his back for a while. At this point in our relationship, I knew him well enough to know that it was one of the most calming influences on his psyche. Then I wrapped my arms around him and said, "If it doesn't work out with Chad, I'd like to see where our relationship might go. But all the women here will really be disappointed." He responded quietly, "Fuck 'em." I responded in a joking manner, "Hmmmm, haven't you already done that?" I paused waiting for the chuckles which came through about four or five seconds later. Robert then broke away from me, turned around and laughingly said, "Damn you! You always make it so difficult to stay angry." After a longer pause, he looked straight into my eyes and continued in a calmer tone. "But I have to say one more thing, even though I don't really want to. You have to give Chad some time and some space. He'll come around. I know because I found out quickly that he and I are similar. We share common interests. And we're the types that always come back to you because you're always there. We can depend on that no matter what else happens. So no matter how hard we try, we can never seem to find a way to get over you." I was stunned by what I had just heard, and I'm sure my face showed it, too. When I was finally able to answer I said "I'm not sure I know what to say." Robert looked away and responded, "You don't have to say anything. It'll all work out somehow." After another few moments, he looked at me and said, "So, are we going to play this game or what?" After about an hour of playing a single game, we had to stop at a 28-28 tie. The ball had remained in play for 10 to 15 hits per serve, and each of us had run the other ragged. Usually Robert won, but his game seemed a little off that night. Before we left the court, I asked "Are we good?" Robert looked at me, smiled that huge grin of his, and quietly said "Yeah, we're good." I put my hand in the middle of his chest and said, "If it doesn't work out with Chad within a couple of months, we really will have to see where our relationship goes." Robert looked me straight in the eyes and said "Count on it." Over the next couple of weeks, I kept busy and away from Chad. It pained me to do so, but he didn't seem to want to have anything to do with me. I heard his voice in the area every now and then, but I never made any effort to go see him. Unfortunately, he never came to see me either, and this further saddened me. Luckily, I was also out on travel some of that time, so the pain was diverted to work. The customer already wanted changes to the system we had just installed and I was required to accompany those changes. The long weeks and weekends were beginning to drive me a little crazy, especially with no exercise and no other release for that matter. There never seemed to be enough time or energy for either. Finally during the first week of November, I was able to slack off and work a normal 40 hour week. On Wednesday afternoon I got a peculiar voice mail from Robert who said he had someone he wanted me to meet. When I called him back later that night, he gave me the details. The guy was a virgin and needed someone gentle to break him in. I laughed as Robert gave the details, and then asked him why he didn't do it. Robert said that this guy was a good friend and he'd never be able to face him again if he did. I hesitated, but Robert pushed. I hesitated again, but after a month of not hearing anything from Chad, I finally relented. I asked Robert if the guy had seen a doctor and Robert said that he was looking at an all-negative test sheet. Then I asked about the guy's looks. Robert laughingly said "He's good looking, but of course not as good looking as me." Robert then quickly added, "You need to prep yourself on Friday, so leave work early. Also, take a nap. You'll need it to keep up with this guy. I'll make sure he knows how to get prepped as well. He'll be there about 9pm, but if he doesn't show by 9:30, come to the club and we'll plan to get together as soon as I can leave." Soon thereafter, we said goodbye to each other and hung up the phone. I was then left to wonder what I was about to get myself into. Friday Because of the recent double workload, I planned to take off Friday afternoon and all of Monday to "recuperate" as I told people. Little did they know what I had really planned. About 2pm that afternoon, I began to doubt the sensibility of doing what Robert had asked me to do. So I called him and told him that I was going to have to cancel and to apologize to his friend. After a few moments of silence, Robert told me that I couldn't cancel, that everything was already in motion. After a couple more exchanges between the two of us, Robert outright said, "You'd be a fool to back out of this, and after looking back on it, you'd really hate yourself for backing out of an agreement to do this." Robert had played my trump card: I always did what I agreed to do whether or not I really liked it. I finally relented again and Robert assured me that I would have an enjoyable weekend. As I hung up the phone, all I could think of is that I wouldn't be able to stand this "newbie" for the night, much less the entire weekend. With no excitement, I did the full-enema cleanout procedure. I hated the way it tasted and what it did to my bowels, but I always did the first time with a person so that there were no "intestinal surprises." After my bowels settled down, I lay down for a nap. I glanced at the clock and it was around 4:30pm. I figured that I'd sleep for about thirty minutes, have a little food and then work until this guy came by. I drifted off into a restful but mentally active sleep. I had several dreams about Chad, none of which helped my mental state about the situation. When I woke up, I looked at the clock and it said 7:45pm. After a moment, I mentally said to myself "Oh shit" as I realized that I had overslept and still had to take a shower and get other things ready. At 8:30, I finally put on my jock strap, gym shorts, t-shirt, and sweat pants. I was ready for whoever this guy was, and if he didn't show up, I was also ready to go to the club. Just as I was finished getting ready, the phone rang. I let it ring and then looked at the Caller ID. It was Chad's cell phone number. Trying to calm my jitters, I answered and asked "Hey, what's up?" Chad flatly stated, "Uhhh, we need to talk. It'll take only about five minutes. I'm in your parking lot. Can I come up?" I responded, "I'm expecting someone at 9. Can we have this conversation another time?" "No, it has to be now or never." Since he had given me an ultimatum, I finally decided it was probably better to get this over with now rather than to drag it out. After a pause, I responded quietly, "Sure. Come on up." I hung up the phone and walked to the front door about the time Chad topped the stairs in the condo lobby. Along with his workout bag, he was carrying a beer can which I thought was odd. But for this confrontation maybe he needed the beer as much as I did, and it made me wish I had drunk one. As always, Chad looked good in his sweats. I was always entranced by his looks, but this time that feeling was combined with another: sorrow that this would be the last time I would see him this way. Since he wasn't staying long, he dropped the workout bag by the front door and kept his coat on as we walked to the kitchen table. We sat down around it, him on one side and me on the end. Not too close, but not too far away either. He set his beer down in front of himself and asked if I had reading glasses. (Middle age and computer monitors are hell on the eyes.) I got up and pulled a pair off the nearby kitchen counter. Immediately after retrieving the glasses and sitting back down, Chad asked "When were you going to tell me about you and Robert?" "What do you mean?" I asked. "I mean the sexual relationship that the two of you have," he responded. I had hoped that he would start with some small talk first, but with the question and tone of voice, he obviously he wanted to get this over with quickly. Unfortunately, I've never been able to hide from any question about sex, so my blushing face confirmed that I had such a relationship with Robert. After a few seconds I responded quietly, "Probably never. I never really expected you to find out because you're straight. If I had told you, it would have destroyed our friendship, a friendship that I value highly. I'm sorry if this offends you, but what Robert and I do together is really a private matter. Why do you ask?" Chad paused for a few seconds as if trying to decide something, then he pulled a folded-up piece of paper from his coat pocket. He said, "If I had known, maybe I would have done this sooner." At the same time he spoke, he slid the paper over to me. The moment I had dreaded had just arrived. I thought it was probably a court order that Chad was giving me to let me know I should stay away from him permanently. I put on my reading glasses and unfolded the paper. As I looked at it, though, I had to reorient my thoughts. This looked like some sort of a list . . . a list of tests for different types of . . . venereal diseases and AIDS. I was shocked by what I was looking at, and it must have shown because Chad reached over and pushed my jaw up to close my mouth. I felt myself blush again, then the blood drained out of my face, and I began to shake. He must have seen the effect that this was having on me because he chuckled, pushed his beer over to me and said, "Looks like you need this more than I do." The swig of beer helped shock me back to reality, whatever that may have been at that moment. I finally regained my composure and began to think through all that I had just seen and heard. Still not quite grasping the situation, I looked over at Chad, who had an incredibly wicked grin on his face. After a few moments, he added, "And Robert sends his regards." Finally realizing that I had been set up, Chad and I had a good laugh. I asked, "So, how long have you and Robert been planning this?" "I went to him a little over two weeks ago to find out what I needed to do. We planned this down to me asking for you to get reading glasses." He paused and then added, "He also told me some things about your relationship." I blushed and looked away from Chad's eyes. "How much?" I asked. "Not too much." After a short pause, Chad added, "But he says that he loves you." "It was just sex for him until he saw you and me together in September," I responded. I looked up to catch Chad's eyes, just about the time he lowered his. He then looked back up to meet my eyes. After a few moments of looking at each other, we both looked away. We both had just realized that the joke was over and the reality of what we were about to do was here. I shifted uneasily in my chair. "Are you sure want to go through with this?" I asked. After what seemed like an eternity, Chad responded quietly, "Yes and no. Yes, because I'm curious and Robert has told me how good it can feel, and no, because of how painful it might be." I waited and then responded. "Well, it will be painful at first, but as we get used to each other, I think you will find it . . . enjoyable, uh, really enjoyable. Fucking a good looking guy, like you, and getting fucked by that same guy always turns me on, but unfortunately most guys don't seem to believe that until they've felt it personally. So no matter what I say, it won't make much difference until you've actually experienced it for yourself." "Robert told me you made a policy of being on the giving end instead of the receiving end of the first fuck." After a few seconds, Chad added, "Why is that?" I took a deep breath, sighed, and explained what had happened. "One of my college roommates and I experimented some. We agreed that whatever one did, the other would get to do, too. So I let him do me first. After that painful first time, it was time for me to do him. He begged off saying that I was too big for him, and it would be too painful for him since he was so tight. I was still naive and trusting at 19, and a couple of weeks later, I let this happen a second time. When he asked a third time, I kneed him in the groin and told him 'No' until he let me do him. He never raised the possibility again. Luckily the semester ended a couple of weeks later, and I never had to have him as a roommate again. After that experience, I vowed that I'd never again get fucked first." After hearing that, Chad simply said "Ouch." After a short time, he said, "I have a second question." "Shoot," I said. "Why did I have to drink all that stuff that made me shit everything out? That was probably one of the most painful, and messy, experiences of my life," Chad said. I paused and then explained, "It cleans you out so there are no 'intestinal surprises,' as I call them, to ruin the situation. I know it tastes bad and it's painful, but for our first time together it's better that you're all cleaned out. As time goes on, condoms are what we'll use, but for a first time, this is better. Just to let you know, I've done the cleanout as well so there's nothing in me either. I know it's rough, but I think you see why as we go through the weekend." Jim and Chad After finishing the explanation, we sat silently for what seemed like another eternity. I was halfway expecting another question from Chad, but when there was none I asked, "Are you nervous?" Chad quietly answered, "Yes." I quietly replied, "I am too." I looked up to meet his eyes. A small grin came across his face, and I know that I grinned as well. Soon we were both laughing. For me it was a release of some of the tension of the moment. Hopefully it was for him as well. I upped the pace. "Let me get this started. We're going to go back to the bedroom. You're going to strip down to your birthday suit, lay face down on the bed, and I'm going to give you a back rub. After that, I'll rub your legs and feet, and then I'll slowly introduce you to what I hope will be the pleasurable sensation of getting fucked by a guy. It will be painful the first time, but I really think you'll find it enjoyable shortly after that. Along the way, if you can remember what I do to you, then after I'm done, you can do the same thing to me. Does this sound okay to you?" After a few moments, Chad nervously said "Yeah" while looking down at the table. Seeing his nervousness, I made a loose fist, and slid it across the table until it touched his arm. A few seconds later, he looked up at me and said "Yeah" again, but this time he was less nervous. We both got up from the table and slowly made our way back to the bedroom. Being November, as we passed the thermostat, I stopped, upped the temperature to 76, and put it on hold so that the temperature would stay the same all night long. As I made the change, I said "Nervous and cold are not good things." That got another chuckle out of Chad. But it seems that I needed the temperature change more than Chad because my hands were getting cold from the nervousness, and that certainly wouldn't be a good thing when giving someone a back rub or anything else. In the bedroom, I pointed to the bathroom and said, "Go in there, strip down and put your clothes on the counter. When you're ready, let me know, and I'll have you come back out here. Oh, and take a leak to empty your bladder." With that, Chad went into the bathroom. It hit me as he entered: the next time I would see him, he would be completely naked. During that time, I slipped out of my sweat pants, leaving on socks, shorts and a t-shirt. I pulled back the covers on the bed, put out a pillow where Chad's head would go, and put out a couple of towels on that part of the bed where he might accidentally piss on as he got fucked. I also heard him taking a leak in the toilet, so I know that these wouldn't get used much. Finally, I got out two small tubes of lube and put one on each of the nightstands on either side of the bed. A short time later, I heard Chad's voice from the bathroom saying, "I'm ready." "Come on out," I replied. I wasn't quite prepared for what I saw as Chad came out of the bathroom, and I lost my breath at the sight. The perfect face did have the perfect body. I had never seen Chad with his shirt off, and the situation left me speechless. The workouts had increased his pectoral size and he had added muscles in his upper back that you could see from his front. Although he had always looked broad to me, the muscles on his shoulders made him look even broader than I expected. He had lost any fat he might have had around waist and he was working on an 8-pack abs. The result was a nicely-formed V-shaped body. And that V-shape was covered with a light coating of dark brown hair, mostly on his pecs, but also included a wide trail from his chest over his abs and down to his crotch. And when I looked at this crotch, I noticed that he had also a very nice package: a large hard-on was sticking up at a 45 degree angle with a large patch of hair at the base. A pair of large balls hung below his cock and the hair flowed from his crotch down onto his legs. Thank goodness I had adjusted myself while he was in the bathroom because I was instantly and incredibly hard just looking at this really nice-looking body. I must have taken longer than I should have looking at his body because Chad interrupted the look by clearing his throat and giving me a sly grin. He must have figured out that I really enjoyed the view. When I realized this, I blushed, but I tried to recover by saying this: "Slight change of plan. I want to make sure that you're fully relaxed so I'm going to massage your front before I massage your back. So, I need you to lay down on your back with your head on the pillow and your hands behind your head." The I-know-bullshit-when-I-hear-it look I got from Chad indicated that I had failed to recover. So I looked down at the floor in front of me and said "Okay, I've never seen you without a shirt, much less fully naked. I want to play with you a while." The comment made Chad laugh out loud and made me feel much less nervous. He then jumped on the bed, rolled over on his back and adjusted the pillows and towels around him. I got on the bed next to his side and sat facing his body with my legs crossed. As I started to stroke his chest with my one hand, Chad reached down, grabbed my other arm, and asked "When do you get naked?" "When you turn over. No need to divert attention from the plan," at which point I reached down and lightly brushed my hand over his hard cock. Although he didn't let go of my arm, he did close his eyes and moan. After a couple of seconds, he reopened his eyes and said, "It would be nice to have you naked while I'm naked so I don't feel so self-conscious." A few seconds later, he added, "By the way, I find you good looking, too." The comment took me by surprise. I had always thought of myself as okay looking, but never in the same class as Chad and Robert, who I thought were in that special class of "Too Good Looking" or TGL. Deep inside I wanted to make Chad feel more comfortable, but I was also afraid of doing anything that might make Chad change his mind. After a long pause, I recovered by saying, "The place hasn't warmed up yet, and as nervous as I am, I need to keep the clothes on to stay warm. You really don't want me to get cold hands." Chad almost immediately dead-panned, "Yeah right. I'm the one laying here with nothing on, giving a guy access to my family jewels and its attachment, and you're the one that's nervous?" The laughter overtook both of us. It was what we needed to relax some more. After a few moments I added, "Laughter is always good in the bedroom as long as you don't point." We laughed a few more moments, and then I said, "All in good time, my friend." As I got up on my knees to start massaging his chest, Chad let go of my arm. He could see the bulge in my shorts and he stared at it while I massaged his chest. A few moments later though, he closed his eyes and began moaning as I massaged him. I worked his pecs, and slid down to his stomach to massage the upper part of his abs. I skipped over his crotch and massaged the muscles on the tops of his upper and lower legs, all from the same location on the bed. Then I sat back down with his crotch in front of me. I rubbed up the inside of his closer leg until my hands brushed his balls. Although not as well, I then massaged the inside of his other leg. Finally, I lightly massaged his balls, separating them and squeezing them lightly. Then I massaged his lower abdomen underneath his cock, my fingers running through the hair. I was so glad that he had lots of hair. Although I enjoyed the silky smoothness of women, hair was something that I really enjoyed about guys. After a short time, I wrapped my right hand around his cock and gave it a few short strokes. His eyes opened briefly and moaned, "It's about time." As I stroked his cock lightly, I checked it out more closely. He was cut, with a purple head larger than his shaft. His shaft was just under six inches around and just under seven inches long. I figured this out using my fingers as temporary measuring tapes. I must have taken longer than I had thought, because Chad cleared his throat and said, "So how big am I and how do I . . . compare to you?" "You're not huge, but you're big. You aren't too big around that you'll injure a guy when you fuck him, but you're still big enough to make him moan and groan a lot. And you're long enough that stand-up sex won't be a problem, but not so long that you'll hurt a guy in the missionary position." I paused and then said, "And we're about the same size." After a few seconds, he responded, "Then getting fucked by you is going to be some experience." Hearing that and feeling his hard cock in my hand, all I could think of was how good it would be to get fucked by him too. It nearly caused me to shoot, but I needed to save it for later. I wrapped my right hand around his cock again and began to stroke more earnestly, all the way up and down the full length of his cock. Chad began to moan and groan more and, after another minute or two, he began to lift his hips slightly. It didn't take much longer, and I knew he was ready to shoot when he grabbed my arm again and held it tightly. I stroked him faster, and I could see the muscles tightening all through his stomach, legs, and chest. His head tilted back and his hips came up a few inches. He opened his mouth and began to say "Ah Ah Ah Ahhhhh". On the "Ahhhhh", I felt the pulsing begin in his cock, and his body trembled as each load came rocketing out. The first shot was a giant quarter-sized glob that landed in the middle of his chest, the second was thick and ropey across his upper abs, and the remaining five shots pooled on his lower abs where they mixed in with the hair. I kept stroking him as he kept pulsing, and the pulsing eventually got less and less until it stopped completely. Eventually he began to soften so I used my whole hand on top of his cock and balls to massage the entire area lightly while he recovered. I reached over to get a towel to clean him off. Since he still had a hold of my arm, he felt me move and I heard, "Not yet. Gimme a little more time." I chuckled and said, "That good, huh?" With his eyes still closed, he gave me one of his mega-watt grins. He added later, "I think that's the strongest I've ever cum." After waiting a while, he opened his eyes, did a partial sit-up with both elbows under him, and took a look at the results. He reached down and touched the cum on his chest and crotch, and then said, "Yeah, that's the strongest I've ever cum." He then lay down and looked over at me with those piercing blue eyes of his. "Hand jobs tend to bring more out in a guy," I said. After a long pause, Chad replied, "It also helps to have someone you like do it for you." I looked at him and he returned the look. He hadn't said "love" yet, but he had made a first step. Looking him in the eyes, I added quietly, "The feeling is mutual." I used the towel to clean him off, making sure that none of that gorgeous hair was left matted. Soon Chad changed the subject. "So what do you have in those shorts?" "A jockstrap." He laughed at the statement. Obviously I had evaded the real question successfully this time. "Okay, smart ass, let me be more direct. Take off all your clothes. It's my turn to get a look at your goods." The moment of truth had finally arrived. I started to ask "Are you sure you want me to take. . . ." only to be immediately interrupted by Chad saying, "Yes," and tugging at my shorts. I knew I had to do this, but I was unsure. I was older than he was, the hair was sprinkled with gray, and older bodies just don't look like younger bodies. But I did it anyway. He looked on as I slowly took off my t-shirt, socks and gym shorts, leaving on only the jockstrap. As Chad looked me over, he got this sly grin on his face. "So you've been hiding a well-muscled and nicely hairy body from me, too." And I noticed that his cock had begun to lengthen again. He sat up and ran his fingers through my chest hair and stomach hair. I pushed him back down to the bed and said, "Not right now. I need you to turn over. You might want to lay on that pillow to be more comfortable." With a big grin on his face, he said, "So, this is the part where I get fucked, right?" I laughed and said, "Yes, and lay down before I have to tie you down," which got a chuckle from him. After he got situated and comfortable, I began the massage. With one hand on top of the other and the fingers intertwined, I used the heel of my doubled hands to massage around and down one side of his spine to his butt and then back up the other side. All the time, Chad moaned lightly. I did this a couple of times along the spine and a few inches to either side. Then I massaged his upper arms, shoulders and neck with a kneading massage. He moaned louder on this part so I kept it up for a longer time. I worked my way down each arm, massaging each part including his hands, followed by a massage back up the arm. Then I worked down his back again. As I got a little too close to a side, Chad moved abruptly and said, "Don't massage my sides." I asked, "Why?" He replied, "Because we aren't that close." I laughed. I'm thinking here is a guy, on his stomach, completely naked and about to let me fuck him, and he says "We aren't that close?" But when the object of your affection is naked next to you, your mind gets fuzzy at least some. Finally, I got what he was saying. "Oh . . . OOOOHHH . . . okaaaaay . . . so what you're really saying is that you're a little ticklish?" I asked with a slight grin on my face. "Just a little", he said. At which point I put one hand on each side and began to tickle him. He began to thrash around like a wild bucking horse, and before I realized it, he had turned around, sitting with his face about a six inches from mine, and was holding my balls tightly in one of his hands. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Do that again, and I'll have to hurt you." And then he squeezed. As I felt the pain from my balls being squeezed, I said, "Okay, okay, message received loud and clear." He held on to make sure, gave a extra hard, quick squeeze, and then let go. Although I was still in pain, I did notice one thing: his actions had certainly taken any immediacy out of my situation. He lay back down on his stomach and got comfortable again. While trying to recover, I continued the massage, skipping over his butt and moving down his legs. I massaged the well-defined thigh muscles and then continued down to his calves. Remembering what he had just done when tickling his sides, I made sure that I didn't tickle the bottoms of his feet as I massaged them. I had taken several minutes on this set of massages to make sure that I could recover from the little stupidity of earlier, and now I was almost back to normal. At this point I had Chad spread his legs. I sat down in between them and took a look. There was a light coating of hair on his butt cheeks that got much thicker in the crack and ran from the top of his crack all the way down to his balls. Geez, I thought, this guy is hairy in all the right places and I love it. That's when I began to massage around his butt. I massaged the thighs up to and onto his butt, and I reached down and massaged his balls which were laying there. I ran my hand lightly over all of his butt, balls, and upper legs. Then I lightly ran my middle finger from the lower part of his spine, down between the cheeks, and down to his balls. That got a loud groan and a shiver out of him. As I continued to massage his cheeks and begin to work into crack, I noticed that he was moaning more and more. With my middle finger, I massaged more and more around his hole and then massaged the hole directly. After working around his hole for a while, I reached over to the nightstand and got some lube for my middle finger. Using that lubed finger, I massaged around and into his hole. As I pushed in, Chad's moans turned into quick breaths and I noticed he was tensing up. When he didn't loosen up soon, I had to say something. "Okay, bud, here's what you need to do. Take a deep breath, hold to the count of 5 and let it out slowly. Repeat a couple of more times and try to relax your ass muscle a little more each time. Pushing out like you're trying to take a dump will help sometimes. It'll take some time for the pain to go away, but it will go away." I pulled my finger out and slowly continued to massage his hole from the outside. He took the deep breaths and shortly after that, I was able to push my finger back into him easily. He was beginning to loosen, so I did what I really enjoyed doing to myself: I moved my finger around in a circle, alternating directions and rubbing along the muscle itself rather than across it which is what an in-out motion would have been. As I went faster and faster, I noticed his hole getting looser and looser. He was also beginning to moan more and louder. Soon I stopped. Chad sighed and spent some time catching his breath. I noticed that he relaxed even more, not just in his ass muscle but all over. I pulled my middle finger out and then inserted both the middle and ring fingers. With my fingers side-by-side to stretch him some, I moved my fingers up and down the muscle instead of in a circle. Chad began to moan and groan and I could tell he was enjoying it. After a short time, I stopped and pushed in and down in search of his prostate. Being a young guy, his prostate wasn't too big, but it was big enough to find easily. I pushed down on it with both fingers and began to massage it, then I moved my fingers around to massage the sides and top and bottom for a short while. Finally, I put one finger on top of the other and massaged the center of it hard and fast. All of the sudden, Chad yelped. I stopped rubbing and asked if he was okay. With a pant in his voice he said, "Don't stop, keep going." As I started massaging his prostate again, he tried to push my fingers out as if he were taking a dump, but I wouldn't let him. I continued to rub his prostate and massage his ass muscle more and even faster. Soon, with his voice sounding like what you'd sound like if you tried to talk while trying to push out a really big turd out that won't come out, Chad said, "Damn, now I know why some guys like to get fucked." After about another ten to fifteen seconds of prostate massage, I noticed that Chad wasn't breathing. He hadn't passed out on me because he was groaning heavily, but he wasn't breathing either. So I stopped, and he started panting heavily. He had really gotten into this and in such a short time. I wanted to massage him more, but I didn't want him to pass out either. I told him, "You need to learn how to breath, big guy. Try to alternate pushing with breathing so that you can keep going without passing out." After a few seconds, he replied between pants, "I'll try, but the feelings are really intense." "You're doing well otherwise, but now I need to stretch your hole some more. If it begins to hurt, let me know." With that I pushed the two fingers up against the top of his ass muscle with a little force and then pulled them down to the bottom with a little force. No response from Chad. Then the same thing a second time with more force. Still no response. On the third time I pushed up and down pretty hard. When I pushed down, Chad whimpered, so I stopped for a little while because I knew that I was hurting him. I rubbed his back with my free hand while continuing to massage his ass muscle like I had earlier. I asked, "Why didn't you tell me sooner that I was hurting you?" A few seconds later and sounding as if he were in pain, he responded, "I didn't want to be a wimp." With those words, I wanted him more than ever, not for the physical pleasure, but as a soul mate who would do whatever it took, even bearing with personal pain, to bring pleasure to others. I probably would have stopped there, but my hardon was about to burst and my lust for his ass had begun to take over what I did. Jim and Chad I pulled my fingers back, put a third with the group, and pushed the group back into him slowly. At the same time, I rotated my hand back and forth so that all three fingers would massage his ass muscle as they entered his body. Soon Chad was squirming and panting and groaning with pleasure again. I got up on my knees and removed my jockstrap with my spare hand, leaving my cock and balls to finally hang free. My cock stood up at a 45 degree angle. I was probably the hardest I had ever been in a long time. I told Chad, "Get up on your hands and knees and spread your legs some." As he did what I asked, I continued to twist my fingers in his ass. Shortly after he got into position, I pulled my fingers from his ass, spread the lube and wetness on my rock hard cock, aimed it for his ass, and moved until the head was against his hole. "Now push back on me slowly," I said, and he began to push back against my cock. He initially resisted, but let his ass muscle relax some more. When my cockhead popped past the ass muscle into him, he cried out, "Damn, you're big." Although I could tell he was in pain, he continued to push back onto me until most of my cock was deep inside him. At this point, the pleasure and lust were so great that I didn't really care whether Chad was in pain anymore. After waiting a few more seconds for the insides of his ass to adjust around me, I grabbed his hips and slowly began to piston in and out of him. I watched as my cock disappeared slowly inside him and reappeared as I pulled back, repeating the trip time and time again. A sense of urgency built in me as I felt the heat of his ass wrapped tightly around my cock. Faster and faster I went, now totally lost in the sensation. I don't know how much longer I took, but it couldn't have been too long. I felt a boiling begin deep inside me and I tried to hold back for as long as I could. Soon, all of my muscles began their pulsing contractions. Loads of cum shot out of me and deep into him, again and again and again, so many times that I lost count. The pleasure was so intense that it took my breath away. Everything from my head to my toes concentrated on the tightness around my cock and the feeling of cum rushing through it. All of this continued for what seemed like an eternity, and I vaguely remember wishing that it could have been. After a few more moments, I came back to reality. My cock had started to go soft and I slowly pulled it out of Chad's ass. Chad collapsed face forward onto the bed and I collapsed on my back next to him. Both of us were panting heavily, me from plowing his ass and him from trying to push my cock out of his ass. After we had regained our breath, I turned on my side and rubbed my hand lightly all over his back. "So, are you going to be okay?" I asked. "I hurt," was all he said, his face still buried in the bed. Immediately I said, "Sorry that I got a little carried away there." After a pause, he turned slightly and replied, "Actually I don't hurt too much, but I have a really good idea about how it might feel to get raped." "Sorry, bud. Do I need to take you to a hospital?" I asked. He propped himself up on his elbows and, looking down at the bed, said, "The pain isn't that bad, just my ass muscle is taking some time getting used to being stretched." Then he turned to me, looked me straight in the eye, and added with a grin, "But I don't hurt enough to stop me from fucking the hell out of your ass." I grinned back and said, "And that I'm sure you'll do." After a pause, I added, "But before we go on, I think you may want to go sit on the toilet. I, uh, dumped a pretty big load inside you and it'll probably want to come out. So you may want to go do that sooner rather than later." Not really believing me, Chad said, "Okay," and he got up and started toward the bathroom. Then he ran into the bathroom. I heard him mutter something like "just made it" as he sat down on the toilet. Seems that I had also pushed a lot of air into him because he had a lot of gas, too. I began to snicker, passing gas always seems to do that to me, and I heard him do the same. While waiting for Chad to return, I adjusted the pillows and towels to lay face down on the bed and expose my whole backside to him. Chad flushed the toilet but the noise of the refilling toilet covered him coming out of the bathroom. Next thing I know, he was next to me. He leaned over my body and began to massage my upper back. His technique was good and he massaged the most tense muscles around my neck and shoulders. This made me moan and groan. Next, he worked down my back. I noticed that my left arm was between his legs, and my left hand could have easily reached his balls. I should have grabbed them just to surprise him, but I didn't. He continued the massage down my back and then lightly over my butt cheeks. After that he massaged my upper thighs, making sure his fingers grazed my balls every now and then. He worked his way down my legs, to my feet, and then back up to my butt. He said, "Spread your legs so I can massage your butt better." As I spread my legs, I felt him crawl into the space they left behind. Obviously we both knew what was coming next. For what seemed like ages, he ran his hand lightly over all of my ass, between my legs, and the exposed portions of my balls. He was feeling the hair all over my ass, legs, and balls, and it was driving me wild. I moaned and said "Geez, that feels good." He then lightly moved one of his fingers up and down my ass crack, finally stopping to massage around my hole. I glanced backwards and said huskily, "You'll need to massage my ass muscle so I can handle you, but you won't need to do too much." I also got a glance at his cock. It was hard again, sticking straight out of his body. Not the 45 degree upward angle of earlier, but hard enough that he was going to ride me really well. He lubed his finger and began to probe and massage my ass muscle. He moved his finger around in a circle which caused me to moan and groan fairly loudly, and my ass responded by opening up quickly. He added a second finger and began to probe for my prostate. He found it quickly and massaged in a circle causing me to moan, groan, and try to push him out. Then he added a third finger and stretched me open some more. Then I heard him say, "Get up on your hands and knees." I got up on my hands and knees and I felt the bed move as he got positioned behind me. After a moment, I felt the heat and pressure of his cockhead on my hole. He slowly pushed against my hole and, after a short time, his cockhead popped into my ass. It was painful at first because I hadn't been fucked in a while and I said, "Stop there for a moment while I adjust." The pain slowly subsided and I finally said to Chad, "Okay, now push in." He continued pushing slowly into my ass until he was all the way in. Then he began to pull out. With that I began to moan again, and he picked up speed. With his shaft rubbing my ass muscle and his cockhead rubbing against my prostate, it wasn't long before I moaned and said, "Fuck me, Chad, fuck me." He picked up his speed to medium. The thrusting began to drive me wild and I involuntarily started to try to push him out of my ass. "Keep pushing into me," I said with a groan. "Don't let me push you out." He continued at this pace for what seemed like an eternity. I began to pant as I alternated between breathing and trying to push him out. That seemed to trigger something in him, because he shifted his thrusting into high gear. I was panting when I said, "Fuck me, fuck me, FUCK MEEEEEEEEE." Soon I heard Chad with a muffled voice say "I'm gonna cum." I squeezed around him tightly, and that caused him to say "AaaaAAAAHHHHHHH" and I began to feel the pulsing in his cock and the heat of his cum as it shot into me again and again and again. No longer able to squeeze him, I groaned loudly and went back to alternating between breathing and trying to push him out. His fucking was driving me absolutely nuts. After a short time, Chad stopped the pistoning and slowly pulled out. When he let go, I fell forward onto the bed, and he fell on his side next to me. He continued to pant as he recovered from the workout. I lay there with my arms under my head and my head turned to get a look at him. He looked relaxed with his eyes closed. The perfect face had finally gotten a piece of ass, literally. After a short time he opened his eyes. Realizing that I was looking at him, he asked "And how long have you been looking at me?" "Since we both fell down here on the bed." "I wish you'd let me know. I don't want to look goofy in front of you," he said. "You didn't. You looked very relaxed," I responded. After a few more moments, he said, "Thank you. My wife would have never let me do what I just did to you. Anal sex was taboo to her." That comment caused a flood of emotions that I quickly repressed, but not without starting some tears. I kind of croaked out, "And thank you to you, too. My wife never let me do what I did to you earlier." Realizing what he'd just said, he comforted me by putting his hand on my back and lightly rubbing it around. I also noticed that his eyes were a little wetter, too. After a few moments, I rolled over on my side facing him, cleared my throat and said, "With all this physical activity, we need to take a shower and get cleaned up." Chad grinned at me and chuckled a bit at the comment. "What?" I asked. "Robert said that you like to take lots of showers. He said that it seems you two have had more sex in the shower than anywhere else here." "Damn him. He spoils all the fun. And what else did he tell you?" "Not too much. He did mention something about in front on the TV and on the deck, but I didn't quite catch all of it," Chad responded. "It's good that he told me about the shower, though. At least I know what's coming next." I noticed that there was a twinkle in his eye as he made this last comment. "So do you think you're up to it?" I asked. Chad responded, "Well after what I just did to you, let's just say my ass doesn't hurt anymore." I grinned and sat up. Then I realized that he had dumped a big load up my ass. "Ooops, gotta go sit." I jumped up and ran into the bathroom just in time to sit on the toilet. Meanwhile, I heard Chad chuckle and get off the bed. As he walked into the bathroom, I couldn't help but stare at him. Even soft his cock was long, long enough to hang way below his ball sack which was hanging pretty low at this point. And the hair on his chest and stomach made me get hard again. At that point I hoped that we'd be able to find some way to become lovers, because he was everything I ever wanted in a partner. Unfortunately that made me wonder even more if I would be good enough for him. Chad broke my trance by opening the shower door, going in, and commenting, "Now this is a shower. It's bigger than any shower I've ever seen." By then I had joined him there. He continued, "So did this condo come with this shower?" "No, it's custom installed. Normally a double-wide, extra long tub goes here, but I wanted a large shower with two shower heads and a seat. So I got it as a special option. Also, the towels hang right outside on the outside of the glass so that I never have to reach too far for a towel. One's always available." "This is really nice, but why the handicap bars?" I blushed some and then said, "You'll find out soon enough," which got a puzzled look from Chad. Chad turned the middle of the three sets of knobs in the shower. Cold water came out one nozzle straight onto his stomach. He yelped and jumped back, and I couldn't help but laugh. I adjusted a different set of knobs and the water started coming out of the shower head. It quickly turned to warm as the hot water got to the shower from the water heater. He added, "Geez, it takes a Ph.D. to operate." I laughed and pushed him into the water. He rinsed off all over and then stood under the spray for a short time. "Next," he said, and stepped out of the water waiting for me to rinse. "You need to get soaped up first," I said, getting the soap, rubbing it on his chest, and gently pushing him back into the water so that it cascaded down his back. I could tell that he liked the idea because his cock began to stir, not much, but enough for me to tell. I continued up and over his shoulders, getting his neck well. "Hold your arms out," which he did. I soaped up his left arm, his armpit and lightly down the side, making sure I didn't tickle him. He flinched as I did his side indicating that he was really ticklish. Then I did his right arm and side, lightly touching his side again. He flinched again. "You're really ticklish, aren't you?" I asked. "Almost too ticklish. Tickling is painful sometimes. That's why I reacted the way I did a while ago. Sorry." "No problem. I didn't know," I said. "Funny thing, that has only been since I started going to the club in June." "You've lost some fat in your side and gained muscle. Same thing seems to have happened to me, too," I added. "Oh, really?" Chad said with a twinkle in his eyes. I looked at him directly in the eyes and said, "Don't get any ideas. I can hurt you, too," as I reached down and grabbed his balls and held them carefully but tightly in my hand. "I get the picture," he said chuckling. After a short pause, I let go and said, "There's some shampoo on the wall. Get some and wash your hair while I wash your legs." He reached over, got the shampoo, and started to wash his hair. I squatted down in front of him and washed his stomach, lower abs, cock, balls, and all over his legs. I had him lift his feet one at a time to wash them completely. During all this washing, I noticed that his cock liked the attention, and it was standing straight out. As I stood up, I reached out, stroked his cock, and said with a grin on my face, "He seems to like the attention." "Yeah." Then he got serious. "But too much more and he'll be shooting again," he said, as he pushed my hand away. Then I responded, "We'll get back to him later. But first I have to wash your face. Close your eyes. When I'm done, I'll guide you into the water so you can rinse. And then I need to wash your back." Washing his face was really just an excuse for me to take a longer look at it. He closed his eyes and I soaped up my hands. Slowly I washed his forehead, moving down to his nose, the area below his nose where a mustache would have been if he had one, down around his chin and the front of his neck. Finally I put a hand on each side of his face and began to wash his cheeks and the upper sides of his face, the soap mingling with the shampoo. I lingered doing this because I was now holding this perfect face between my hands and I wanted to look at it longer. Had he not had soap all over his face, I probably would have tried to kiss him right then and there. During that short pause, Chad did something I wasn't expecting. With his eyes closed, he reached out, put a hand on each of my hips, and pulled me closer to him. Within a few seconds, my cock was rock hard and it began to rub against his. It was difficult for me to continue, but I finished by washing his ears and guiding him into the water as I had said I would do. He had to let go to turn into the water to wash his face, but with his hands now free, he quickly rinsed the soap and shampoo from his head. He began to turn back around, but I stopped him. "I still need to wash your back," I said. I washed his shoulders again and down his back. I squatted behind him and gave his ass cheeks a good soaping, but didn't soap his ass crack. As I viewed his ass, my cock seemed to get even harder. Lust had begun to take over me again. I had him turn and wash off his back. Then I said, "Bend over and put your hands on the seat." He looked at me for a second or two, took a deep breath, said "Please be gentle", and moved into position. I turned the water off and squatted behind him again. I did the same kind of finger massaging that I had done to him earlier. First one finger, moving around in circles to massage his ass muscle, followed by two fingers pushing in and down to massage his prostate, and finally three fingers to stretch the ass muscle. As I did all this, he moaned and groaned, sometimes loudly. Thankfully, his muscle stretched easier and more this time, and he didn't say anything about pain. Also, there was plenty of lube and cum leftover from earlier so I wouldn't need any more lube this time. Soon I stood up, wiped some of the lube from my hand onto my cock, and guided it to his ass. I pushed slowly but steadily into him. As my cockhead popped into his ass past the muscle, he groaned loudly and tilted his head back. I stroked his back and asked, "Are you okay?" With a pant in his voice, he said, "Yes . . . Don't pull out . . . I'm not in pain . . . Push in more . . . Damn this feels incredible." As I slowly pushed in more and more, and felt the insides of his ass wrap itself slowly around my cock. All I could think of was, "Oh, my God. He's got the perfect ass, too." I slowly pistoned in and out of his ass this time, taking a look at the incredible picture of my cock sliding in and out. I was hard but didn't feel the need to cum as quickly as I had last time. Chad was also having a good time, and I could feel him alternating between trying to push me out and grabbing me tight with his ass muscle, a move which basically had the effect of drawing my cock deeper into him. After a while, I noticed that he was moaning and groaning loudly and not breathing much. As with the first time, I needed to make sure he didn't pass out on me. I stopped moving my cock, but left it deep in his ass. Then I said, "Put your hands on the handicap bars and push up. I need you to stand up so I can help you with your breathing." He slowly put his hands up on the bars, but didn't seem to be pushing up much. I reached up and gently pulled on a shoulder to help him up. Slowly he rose to a leaning position with his hands on the handicap bars. While he was still panting, I leaned into him, my hairy chest against his back. I wrapped my arms around him, one hand on his stomach and the other on his chest, both stroking the hair where they found it. And the whole time my cock was still in his ass. That's when I noticed the intense look on his face. Immediately I asked, "Are you okay?" "Yes," he replied. "Do I need to pull out?" I asked. "NO. Please no. The feeling is just so . . . intense. I've never felt . . . anything like it before . . . especially with a hairy body . . . against my back." Meanwhile, the actions of him pushing and pulling on my cock inside his ass had made me even harder, which I thought was impossible. To slow down the pace which my cock wanted to set, I tried to distract us by saying, "We need to work on your breathing. I'm going to count to five, and each time I get to five you need to change what you're doing. Okay?" I got no response, so I started counting slowly. "One, two, three, four, five," and I felt him stop pushing me and begin to pant. "One, two," and he began to push again. "You need to try to control this better. One, two, three...." At that point, Chad surprised me by saying, "Fuck the breathing, just fuck me, and fuck me hard." I resumed pumping my cock in and out of him again. I hoped that he was enjoying my cock being in him, because the tightness of his ass around me was way beyond what I had ever dreamed of. We became lost in the feeling, each of us in our own sensory bliss, and this continued for what seemed like another eternity. My cock was enjoying being squeezed by a hot hole, and his ass really seemed to like having a hard cock rub its insides, especially around the prostate. Some time later, I found myself picking up the pace. Faster and faster I went. I briefly looked down at my cock and the movement seemed like a blur to me. Soon, that all too familiar feeling began deep within the base of my cock. I could feel the cum building slowly within me, and a few moments later, I groaned loudly as my cock began to shoot another large load into Chad's ass. As I shot, I could feel each spurt splash around inside him. In response, I could feel him tighten around me and he moaned loudly as my hot cum landed inside him. I kept up the pistoning even after I had stopped cumming because his ass felt so hot and tight around me. Unfortunately my cock had other ideas, and after a few more thrusts, I had to stop because it began to soften. After another minute or two, my cock softened completely and slid slowly out of his ass. As my cockhead slid out, Chad threw back his head and gave a final moan. Jim and Chad I didn't realize it, but during this whole time, I had kept my arms around Chad and was still stroking his chest and stomach hair. I reached down to fondle his cock and found it soft because of the fucking. I fondled it more and he became fully erect quickly. He moaned and said, "Keep that up and you're going to get raped." So I kept stroking his cock. My ass was ready, and he certainly needed the release. I moved to his side and pushed him away from the seat. Then I moved in front of him, said "Please be gentle," and put my hands on the seat, bending over in front of him. The next thing I felt was one hand along my lower back and a finger from the other hand probing around my ass. As he found my hole, he easily pushed in one finger and then two fingers. He shifted around and soon I felt three fingers in my ass, along with a hand reaching under me to massage my cock and balls. That movement made me clamp down on his fingers and then involuntarily try to push his fingers out of my ass. A few seconds later, he pulled his fingers from my ass and I felt the heat of his cockhead at my hole. He pushed into me easily, and when his cockhead entered, I moaned loudly. Soon his cock was deep within my ass and he began to piston in and out of me. He pulled me up with one hand so that I could put my hands on the handicap bars, and then he leaned against me wrapping his arms around me and fondling my cock and balls and stroking my chest as he fucked my ass. The feeling of his chest hair against my back was soon more than I could stand, so I let out a loud groan and said, "Fuck me. Fuck me, bud, fuck me." With that, Chad began to fuck my ass faster and faster with his rock hard cock. The pleasure from it was immense and I found that I too was having trouble breathing because of all the groaning. I clamped down around Chad's large cock as he fucked me, but when I did, the pleasure became so intense that my ass wanted to push it out. Alternating between squeezing and pushing continued for a long time, Chad moaned and groaned his approval of what my ass was doing to him. Soon Chad was breathing heavily, and I could feel that his cock had grown larger in my ass. As I clamped down around his cock for what would be the last time in this round, Chad yelled "Oh FUCK, here I cum" and began to shoot load after load after load of hot cum deep in my ass. I could feel his cock pulsing for a long time and the hot cum hitting my insides. After that, his cock got softer and he stopped. I didn't want his cock to leave as it slid out of my ass, but knowing that he'd be fucking me more this weekend helped me let it go. At the same time, Chad almost collapsed against my back, so much so that I moved one arm from a handicap bar to hold one of his arms against my chest to help him keep from falling down. After a few minutes, Chad slowly pulled up and away from me. As he pulled away, I got a sudden chill because his warm chest and stomach were no longer pressed against my back. It had gotten colder in the shower and neither of us had noticed because we were too focused on getting our rocks off. So I turned on the shower and got it warmer again. As I turned to look at Chad, I was greeted by this dazed look with a silly-ass grin. I couldn't help but chuckle and the chuckle brought Chad back to reality. "What?" he asked. "Nothing. Just the look on your face, that's all." "What look?" he asked. "Well, a few seconds ago you had a really interesting look on your face." "Like what?" he asked. "Like you just had the best fuck of your life. Sort like this: doctor's visit, $75, lab tests, $225, shit-eating grin after fucking a friend without a condom, priceless. You could be the spokesman for one of those credit card commercials." Chad laughed out loud at my comment, but almost immediately his face turned bright red and he got this embarrassed look. To avoid my look at him, he looked down. Seeing what I had done to him, I put a hand on the side of his face and lifted it back up so we could see eye to eye. I said to him, "There's no need to be embarrassed. Sex can be viewed as either the most intimate expression of love that two people can share or, probably in your case, a new place to put your cock and have some fun. But either way, I don't care how goofy you may look, all I care about is how good a time you have." He blushed again, but held my look. The intensity made me melt and my cock get hard at the same time. After a few moments, I pulled my hand away and happened to glance down. His cock was partially hard too. I said, "Let's get cleaned up, and get something light to eat. I think we've done enough for tonight. And we don't want to wear ourselves out before tomorrow." With that, we both washed and rinsed under the shower, got out and dried off. When I asked about a change of clothes, Chad said that he had a couple of changes of clothes in his gym bag. Obviously Robert had prepared him well. Standing up in the kitchen, we each had a sports drink and a cup of yogurt. Both would keep us "clean" for tomorrow's activities, but fill us enough so we would sleep well. I was thirsty and the cold sports drink did its job at quenching that thirst. After about 10 minutes, we headed back to the bedroom to turn in for the night. As we got ready for bed, I found that he slept in the same thing I did: a pair of underwear (briefs) and a t-shirt. Most guys sleep in the nude, but he (as did I) found being completely nude to be too sticky and uncomfortable. We crawled into bed both facing each other. I looked and him and he returned the gaze. My cock took a leap and began to get hard. I got a little nervous and asked, "Do you think you could get it up again?" A look of surprise followed by a sly grin appeared on his face. "What did you have in mind?" he asked. "I . . . need you to . . . fuck me again." I said hesitatingly. "And what about you?" he asked. I paused and then said, "I can jack off at the same time," hoping that he would be okay with that. He paused a second or two, then sat up and almost ripped off his t-shirt and underwear. He already had a hard-on. I looked over at him, chuckled, and said, "Geez, I didn't think you'd be THAT eager," at which point he got a guilty look on his face. Then I sat up and took off my shirt and underwear, revealing my hard-on. I got a towel and adjusted it so that it would be under my butt when I laid back down. As I laid back down, I raised my legs with my knees close to my side and held them into position with my hands. As I did this, I closed my eyes and hoped that Chad wouldn't think of me as a pussy willing to let every dick fuck it. I felt Chad move into position next to my butt. He began to lightly touch all around my ass, running his hand lightly over the hair all over my butt and balls and around my cock. He wrapped one hand around my cock and lightly stroked it. As I opened my eyes, I noticed that he seemed spellbound by what he saw as he ran his hand all over my ass, legs and crotch. I also noticed that was lightly stroking his own cock. After another few moments, I cleared my throat and broke the spell. He blushed and a few seconds later said, "I've never seen another guy's ass this close up before." "Hope it meets your expectations," I said. After few more seconds he replied, "Oh, it does." He then stroked my hole and pushed a finger inside. I closed my eyes and moaned in response to the probing. "I shouldn't need too much preparation, so you can go ahead and stick your cock in me if you want to." With that statement, Chad removed his finger and rubbed his cock with the lube from my ass. He then moved into position. I closed my eyes again and felt the heat from his cockhead at my hole. He eased into me, but this time he pushed all the way into me within a couple of seconds. A loud groan left my lips and I heard him ask, "Are you okay? You look like you're in pain." I paused, then with a pant in my voice said, "Trust me. This isn't pain, this is sheer ecstasy." Then I opened my eyes to get a good look at the situation. What I saw in front of me made my cock get hard almost instantly. The eyes, the good-looking face, Chad's hairy body between my legs, and the feeling of his cock in me had always been a fantasy, but tonight the fantasy had become a reality. I even reached out and stroked the hair on his chest just to make sure. Yep, he was real. And this vision got me even harder. "Geez, you're tight," Chad said. "What's different?" "Since I finally got to see what it looks like with you between my legs, I've gotten pretty hard, and that's making my ass contract around you more." I stroked his chest some more, then worked my way down to his stomach, and finally down to his crotch. Although I couldn't see them, I could feel his hard cock and balls and where his cock entered my ass. Then I closed my eyes and said, "Fuck me, stud. Fuck me nice and easy." Chad needed no further encouragement and began to slowly piston in and out of me. I felt his cock as he did so, and I groaned loudly as I felt him fuck my ass at the same time as I felt his cock glide back and forth through my fingers. After a short time, I reached up and began to stroke my own cock. With the other hand, I stroked Chad's furry chest and stomach. Thankfully, this went on for what seemed like an eternity. Chad was taking his time and my ass thanked him for doing so. After a while, Chad picked up his thrusting speed. Based on the previous times, I knew he wouldn't be long before cumming, so I increased the stroking speed on my own cock. Apparently that caused me to tighten around him further because he let out a low, deep moan. As I stroked myself, I began to feel that familiar feeling--the boiling that starts deep within the base of my cock. It built and built as I stroked faster and faster. Chad must have been experiencing the same thing because his breathing got more ragged and uneven as his cock moved quickly in and out of me. I soon reached that point where the pleasure in my cock and in my ass caused me to lose it. Large loads of hot cum came rocketing out of my cock and splattered on my stomach, once, twice, three, four times. I moaned and groaned loudly, and I know my ass contracted even more tightly around Chad's cock. What seemed like only a second after I started spurting, Chad moaned, said "AHHHHHHH" loudly, and I felt him shoot hot wads deep within me time and time and time again. We were cumming together, I with my hand around my cock and Chad deep within me, my ass wrapped tightly around his cock. The experience was so intense that I didn't feel anything else around me. All my attention was focused on my cock, my ass, and his cock in my ass. Eventually Chad's cock got soft and slipped out of me. He collapsed on the bed beside me, on his back, his eyes closed, with a peaceful and satisfied look on his face. I got a towel and wiped the sweat off his face, chest and stomach, and then cleaned up the sweat and cum from his cock and balls. He didn't move much during this time and I soon began to hear a rhythmic breathing from him. He had fallen asleep. I grinned and chuckled quietly thinking that I had worn him out. Finally, I got up to go to the bathroom, taking the towel that I had cleaned him with and the towel that had been under me. After cleaning up, I returned to the bedroom, put on the underwear and t-shirt that I had tossed on the floor earlier, and crawled into bed. I pulled the sheet and blanket up over me and Chad. Chad shifted onto his side facing me but he was still asleep. As I lay down, I took one final look at that perfect face, silently thanking him for coming into my life and hoping he'd stay for a while. Then I reached over and turned off the light for the night. As I turned off the light, I got a quick look at the clock and realized that it was 1:15 in the morning. We'd been going at it for just over four hours, and even with the three hour nap, I was dog tired. With the dark room and warm covers, it seemed like only seconds before I too drifted into a deep and restful sleep. Saturday, Early Morning I always hated the first few Saturdays in November after we "fall back" from Daylight Saving Time, and this Saturday was no different. What used to be a leisurely sleep on a Saturday morning was now interrupted by birds chirping and sunlight an hour earlier starting about 5:30 to 6am. On any other day of the week including Sunday, this would have been a welcome event, but Saturdays were my day to sleep late. Unfortunately, because I had been getting up regularly at 6am for work on all days during the past couple of months, I was unable to sleep through 6am this particular Saturday morning. So, after taking a long look at the guy next to me in bed (and he looked good even in his sleep), I got out of bed and quietly put on my clothes. I left the bedroom, closed the door, and used the second bathroom to take my morning leak so I wouldn't wake him. Just in case I saw Chad before brushing my teeth, I also used some mouthwash that I kept in the second bathroom. After taking care of all the personal business, I put on a baseball cap to cover my messy hair, got keys, and went down to the condo building's front door to get the morning paper. As I returned, I heard rustling around in the bedroom and also heard water running through the pipes as I figured out Chad had used the bathroom. I was fully expecting him to settle back into bed and sleep a little longer, so I was completely unprepared for what happened next. About thirty seconds later, Chad opened the bedroom door and came down the hall. When I saw him, I was shocked: he was fully dressed including his coat and carrying his gym bag. As he walked past, he had a scowl on his face, said nothing, and continued to the front door to put on his shoes. Obviously he was going to leave, so I hurriedly followed him while trying to figure out what to do next. In a moment of near desperation as he put on his second shoe, I reached out and grabbed an arm and said, "Please don't leave. Whatever's got you upset, please, let's talk about it." He pulled against my hand a little more but at least he didn't pull away from me. "I can understand if you're angry with me for making you hurt. I can also understand if you're feeling guilty about what we did." He pulled a little harder. I continued, "I can also understand if you're feeling panicked about what others will think if they find out what we've done. No matter what it is, PLEASE, don't leave until we talk about it." Chad still pulled at my arm, but that's when I noticed that he had begun to shake. He lowered his head and his voice trembled as he quietly said, "I can't be gay. I just can't be." That's when I noticed he had started to cry. He dropped his gym bag and put both of his hands up to his face. I reached up to a shoulder to turn him around to give him a hug, but he fought me away. Then he turned to me and yelled, "Don't you touch me. You've taken my virginity from me. That's something I can never get back, you old fag." The comment stunned me and pissed me off at the same time. After a second, I grabbed his coat on both sides near the collar and pushed him up against the wall. Then I positioned myself within about two inches of his face and hissed, "You should be the one to talk about being a fag. You shot your wad FOUR times last night, and THREE of them were in a my ass. And by the way, I shot TWO of my three wads up your ass last night. And you really seemed to enjoy it all, both giving and receiving. So when you talk about losing your virginity to a guy, just remember that you gave it to me willingly and multiple times." With a look of defiance, he immediately shot back, "I was drunk and you took advantage of me." The comment pissed me even further and I almost hit him. But, I controlled my anger and instead, in a condescending tone of voice, I asked, "Okay, smart ass, so how many beers did you have last night and when did you have them?" "Three. One at my house and two in the car." "You really mean one in the car, because the second one from your car is almost full and still sitting on my kitchen table. I never emptied it from last night." Then I continued the analysis with an unforgiving voice, "So if the body processes about a beer an hour, then by ten last night you weren't drunk anymore. And from what I can figure out with us going to sleep around one am, we were in the shower with my dick shooting a wad up your ass about eleven-thirty. So your little theory about being drunk and me taking advantage of you doesn't hold water, mister. You gave yourself to me and willingly, too." The look on Chad's face changed from defiance to shock. When he finally realized that what I said was true, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. Soon after that I noticed tears running down his face. I released the grip on his coat but kept my hands on his chest holding him against the wall. It almost made be break inside seeing the tears and wanting to hold him, but at the same time unwilling to do so because I was still so pissed off. With a raspiness in my voice from the emotions of the moment, I quietly said, "All I want you to do is sit and talk with me for a while. After that you can go. But I really, really don't want to lose you as a friend, because I value your friendship too much. We don't have to do anything else ever again, and we can forget that last night ever happened." With his eyes shut, he reached up and wiped away the tears. I let go of him and slowly walked into the kitchen, sat down, and had a swig of the beer on the table. It was warm and flat and tasted bad, but I needed something. I sat with my face in my hands, hoping that Chad wouldn't leave, but it was up to him to make the decision. At this point, I wouldn't hold him back if he decided to leave. The longer he waited, the more I got that awful combination of panic and sorrow. It must have been close to five minutes before I heard any major noises from the front hall. When I finally did, it sounded like he was picking up his gym bag and leaving. I prepared for the sound of a door opening and closing, but soon realized that Chad had come into the kitchen carrying his bag. When I looked, he still had his coat on, but at least he hadn't left. He finally sat down next to me at the table, both of us in the same positions as we had been the night before. After he sat down at the table and got settled in, I started the conversation. "Thanks for staying. I won't keep you long, but I need to say some things. Since it's six-thirty in the morning, I'll apologize in advance if I ramble or don't make much sense. If you find it's too much, please let me know and I'll either speed up or shut up, and then you can go." With that last sentence, I looked at Chad. Our eyes met briefly and then he looked down to the table. After a second, I too looked down at the table and continued the monologue. "I said anger, guilt, and panic because those are the emotions that I've had when dealing with my feelings about sex, women, and men. After last night you'll probably have to deal with them, too. For me, the anger comes from that roommate I told you about. One of these days I'll finally let go of the anger, but it still peeves me that he didn't keep his part of the deal. Because of that, I always want to make sure that whoever gets fucked by me always gets more in return. That doesn't make up for me taking your virginity, but I hope you enjoyed riding my ass a few times in the process." I then looked at Chad directly and said, "I can understand why you're angry at me, so I apologize for what I did to you. If I had known what I know now, I would gladly turn the clock back to September when we were just good friends, and I would have made sure that this would have never happened. All I can hope is that you won't be angry with me forever."