30 comments/ 164280 views/ 188 favorites I Hate You By: artisticbiguy The following is a complete work of fiction. Disclaimer: The following story may contain erotic situations between consenting adults. If it is illegal for you to read this please leave now. Any resemblance between the characters and any real life person is completely coincidental. Please do not copy or distribute the story without the author's permission. Please feel free to send any feedback or comments through the writing journal or you can send it directly to the link below. Please just remember to add something in the subject line so I know it's not Spam. Enjoy! ***** "I hate you," were the last words spit at me as Justin slammed the door closed on me and our friendship. To say I was stunned would have been an understatement. I didn't even notice when Tina slipped on her clothes, kissed me on the cheek and left, saying, "I'd better go." My best friend had just stormed out of my life, and I didn't know why. ***** Taking English 201 while the sun was shining, and there was a soft breeze, and the temperature was 85 degrees, was torture. Don't get me wrong, I loved language, I spoke three fluently. Of course, being a Theater Major, my primary interest was the spoken word. That was why I was taking English 201 over the summer; I wanted to clear up my schedule for more performance credits. Most everyone else was there because they were retaking the course. I thought that was pitiful. There were three of us who really cared about the subject. One was Gloria; she was from Argentina and English was her second language. The other was Justin; he was a freshman who had CLEPed his way through his 100 level English courses and came to the University a semester early. He wanted to be a writer and we hit it off from the beginning. Of course, we were an odd pair. I'm "Mr. Social". Nearly everyone in the theater program knew me or knew of me. Hell, I was recognized all over campus. If someone had me in their class they remembered it. Justin was a geek. Saying Justin was a geek was like calling a trout a fish. He was almost the classic, academic nerd. Justin was a short, wiry guy with unruly brown hair, glasses that did nothing for his face and clothes that were best described as "skater geek". His one non-academic pastime was his board. It was the only part of Justin that broke the geek mold. His board was as much a fixture for him as his book bag and laptop. The first time I saw him really skating, not just using the board as a quick ride from class to class, was about mid-semester. I was heading down to the fields for a Saturday morning game of Frisbee when I caught sight of a small group of skaters using one of the twisting sections of the back lot to do tricks. I'd been so impressed by one guy catching air off the steps that I didn't notice I was walking into a "skate zone." "Look Out!" I spun out of the way and hit the grass. When I looked up, ready to curse the careless son-of-a-bitch out, I saw Justin looking down at me. "Hey, Bryan, you ok?" He looked so different standing there, shirtless without his glasses, that I almost hadn't recognized him. He was a wiry little fuck. He had laughing eyes that were all but hidden when he wore his glasses. "Damn, Justin." I got up and brushed myself off. "I know you like me, but you don't have to plow me into the dirt to get my attention." Justin looked down. "Yeah, sorry Bryan." He turned to head back to the start of the skate run. Why'd it bother me that he thought I was mad at him? "Hey, how long you going to skate?" Shrugging, he looked at his watch. "Another half hour I guess. Asphalt will be too hot to do anything after that." "Some guys are getting together for Frisbee down on the field. Why don't you come down after you're done?" He was a bit short but if he had the moves that'd make up for it. He blinked at me. "Really?" "Yeah, I'll even hang while you finish your freaky shit." The smile he gave me in response just melted me. It wasn't sexual, I like girls, but he was just such a cute kid that it was like having a puppy. He impressed me that morning. Justin was an ace on four wheels. He could do spins, jumps, twists, ride railings, and there didn't seem to be anything he couldn't do on a board. That sure blew away my original idea that he was a simple geek. I think he was showing off, but it worked. I couldn't stop complimenting his skill as we got down to the games field. "I just can't believe a bookworm like you can skate like that." He beamed. "Dad insisted that I had to be outside doing something 'physical' any day it wasn't raining. I hated team sports so I just rode my board around. After a while, I just got into it." I laughed and waved at the guys. "Hey guys, this is Justin." They all greeted Justin with smiles. I looked at our group and realized we could play teams of three. "Want to do teams?" The affirmative nods went all around but Justin looked a bit unsure. I smiled and put my hand on Justin's shoulder. "Well, since Just's already shirtless, we'll be skins." Tony decided he'd go skins since he was shirtless too. Teams were set. Smiling, I handed my Frisbee to Justin and peeled off my shirt. When I tossed my shirt beside his board, he just watched with a wide-eyed wonder. He probably couldn't believe I'd just take him on my team sight-unseen. I laughed and mussed his hair. "Come on, squirt, let's teach these lard-asses that brains and beauty always wins over brawn." Everyone laughed but I think I put Justin on the spot. He blushed. He did play like a pit bull though. His throwing arm sucked, but he wasn't afraid to dive and roll so he could catch a hell of a lot of tosses the others would let go by. We didn't win, but it was not for a lack of effort. That was when we started hanging together more. We made Saturday morning board and game a ritual. Justin would skate till the asphalt got uncomfortably hot and then we'd head for the fields for a Frisbee or V-ball game. He tried to get me on the board a few times. All I ended up doing was breaking my ass on the pavement, and trying to look like I meant to do it. Of course, I got him back. I got to spike him into the sand more than a couple times in V-ball. It was kind of like sibling rivalry; I loved it. I'd always wanted a kid brother, and Justin fit the bill perfectly. It was near the end of the summer session when I got my room assignment and realized I'd lucked out; I didn't have a roommate. Justin had gotten placed in one of the older dorms, Brownstone Hall; the place sucked. We were having lunch just before exams week when I decided I didn't like the idea of living alone. "Just," I asked between bites of my hotdog, "would you like to room together?" I thought he was going to choke. I should have waited till he'd finished swallowing his bite of burger. He dropped his burger on his plate and took a huge swig of Coke. He blinked back the usual tears from just having something try to dive down the wrong pipes and coughed. "You mean it?" He looked at me like I'd just offered him a winning lottery ticket. "Yeah. My freshmen roommate sucked, and since you didn't sign up for anyone you know you're going to be in a crapshoot for whom you get." I shrugged. "We get along, and there's a chance they'll stick me with some jerk at the last minute. At least with you, I know this year I'll like my roomie." He smiled; the only thing ruining his puppy-dog look were those fucking glasses. "You don't mind rooming with a freshman?" For a guy who really had decent, if odd, taste in clothes, why he wore glasses out of the sixties was lost on me. Laughing I punched him in the arm. "Nah, you're a geek but you make me laugh!" ***** Stafford Hall was a major step up from Brownstone. In Brownstone, there were two community bathrooms per floor. The rooms were like sardine cans. The only saving grace was the ceilings were high enough for people to loft their beds. Rooms in Stafford were larger and one bathroom was shared between two dorm rooms. As with every college student with obsessions, Justin and I had to decorate our halves of the room with examples of our interests. My half had posters of Shakespeare in the Park, Le Miz, Phantom, and Rocky Horror. Don't ask me why I love Rocky but I do; something about the expressive freedom and audience participation was just a natural high for me. Justin put up a poster of Mark Twain, one that listed the requirements of creativity, and a couple pro skater posters. Along with the picture of his parents, he had a picture of a skater catching air. At first I thought it was a picture of Justin, but the guy had darker, longer hair. "Hey, Justin, who's the skater?" I nodded to the picture as he stuffed his socks and underwear into his dresser. He came over and picked up the picture. His fingers traced it. "That's Matt, Matt Thompson. He was my best friend." I don't know why, but the whimsical, almost longing smile that touched his lips when he said it made me jealous. I bit back the stupid feeling. "Was?" He just sighed and set the picture back down. "Yeah. He was a year ahead of me in school so I haven't seen him in over a year." Shrugging, he grabbed some shorts and opened a drawer. "We still email, but he went to school up north. Since I started University in the summer, I haven't seen him since Christmas Break." "That's less than a year." I smirked and tried to keep the mood light but it didn't work. "Yeah, but he'd met someone and all he could do was think and talk about 'love'." He sounded a little bitter as he stuffed his shorts in the drawer. "I'm happy for him, but it felt like I wasn't even there." The way his shoulders seemed to sag with the memory got me down. I liked his normal, bouncy self. He was a puppy, and when he moped it was just as bad as having a golden retriever pup that looked lonely. I draped my arm over his shoulders and mussed his hair. "Well, you've got me now. I won't be graduating and leaving you behind." His smile nearly sparkled as he looked up at me. "You're the greatest, Bryan." I laughed and went back to my unpacking. "Yeah, it's hard to be perfect, but someone has to do it." Oh yeah, I'm modest too. ***** Rooming with Justin was perfect. We had enough common interests to never have boring conversations but we were individual enough to have lives outside of the dorm room. Once I got him used to being somewhere other than the library or the room, Justin made friends easily. There wasn't any of the glomming that can happen when a new student makes friends with an older one. We just clicked. One great thing was neither Justin nor I brought anyone back to the room. It was a sanctuary of study, relaxation and camaraderie. I'd dated a lot in high school. Sex was great, but I just couldn't seem to warm up to anyone as more than friends. Being in theater I'd never thought much about who was gay and who was straight. It was never an issue for me; I liked girls. If a guy liked me, I didn't freak and usually I'd be flattered, but I was sincere in my disinterest. Of course, just because I liked girls didn’t mean I had time for one. I was as fanatical about my theater studies as Justin was about his writing. Neither of us dated, though we both had a handful of girl friends that might have wanted us to ask. I wasn't alone; I had Justin. I didn't feel sexually frustrated because my hand was one damn good lover. Life was good. Girls could wait. We were kicking back, looking at the autumn leaves after a game of Frisbee, when Justin turned to me. "You don't date." I laughed. "No time." Justin looked at me curiously. Something about the way he'd do that, his head cocked to one side and his lips set in a thoughtful pout, just made me want to hug him. He was just that damn cute; especially after games without those fucking glasses. I grabbed him around the neck and nuggied him as he laughed and half-heartedly tried to get away. "How can I have time for dating with you around? You're such an attention hound!" He pulled out of my hold and stuck his tongue out at me. His face was flush and he studied his toes for a second before smiling. "Ok." We were best friends. That was enough. ***** I don't think I could remember when I was happier than I was with Justin as my roommate. We were buds. Nothing was ever an issue. We could just be honest and talk about anything. The other great thing was that we were just like brothers; personal space was a non-issue. Justin really was a brain. He studied, he researched, he wrote constantly and he skated. The only breaks to his routine were my performances. He didn't miss any. It was like having my own cheering section. His only area of academic weakness was exams. The boy totally freaked over tests. Away from a test he could tell you everything about the subject in complete detail, but in the test he was lucky to put four sentences together that made sense. He never felt he'd done them right, though he never received a grade below a B. The week of Finals had him in a total panic. I tried to ignore Justin's frantic search for some obscure note he was certain would be the focus of his Philosophy exam. After his third attempt to destroy his notebook I finally couldn't take it. "Justin, chill out!" I tossed my textbook down and got up. "You're driving me nuts." Watery eyes looked back at me and his chin was shaking. "I'm sorry, Brian. I'm so fucked up." How do you stay mad at someone like Justin? I certainly can't. I went over and massaged his neck. He was as tense as a board. "All you need is a good night's rest, bud. You've been drinking Coke like water and falling asleep at the desk for days. You're going to be fried by finals." He bowed his head and nodded. "Yeah. I've always been like this. I used to drive my parents nuts." "So, how'd they deal with it?" I was digging into one of the knots in his shoulder and he moaned. "It was really stupid." "What?" "How Mom dealt with me." He shrugged off my hands and stood up. "Thanks, Bryan." He looked embarrassed. "You didn't tell me what they did." I smirked. "How can I help my bro out if I don't know what to do?" "Drop it; it doesn't matter." He was looking more uncomfortable by the moment. I reached out and mussed his hair. It was always fun to do. Justin's hair was soft and felt almost like silk. "Come on, Just. What?" He couldn't meet my eyes. "Mom used to hold me and sing me to sleep when it got bad." Normally I would have laughed if someone told me that. Instead, I thought it was just too adorable. I'd long lost my image of Justin being a geek. He was just Justin, the guy who wore his heart on his sleeve and could still be cool about it. "Oh." He blinked at me. "Oh? I'm a fucking wimp and all you can say is 'oh'?" His voice was trembling. "It's weird, but I accepted you're weird when we became friends." My first impulse was to hug him but that seemed a bit presumptuous. "I'm just trying to figure out how to get your Mom up here to help." Justin blew. "Oh, fuck you! I don't need my Mommy to kiss my booboos!" He grabbed for his stuff and made like he was heading for the door. "Hey!" I grabbed his arm. "I didn't mean it that way." He tried to pull away but I'm a hell of a lot bigger and stronger. I had a wildcat on my hands as he tried to get loose. His books went everywhere as the struggle overturned his unzipped book bag. Landing on his bed, I held him to me and didn't let go till he stopped fighting. He started to cry into my shirt. "I'm sorry, Bryan." By the way he was shaking; I knew he was scared. I think he was scared I'd laugh at him or reject him. I looked at the clock. It was nearly ten, early by our standards, but not too early to catch up on some well needed rest. "Let's get some rest, Just. I don't think either of us could study any more tonight." I let him go and stood up. He nodded absently and got off the bed. We stripped down to our boxers and took turns brushing and using the toilet. I waited till he was back before I pulled back the sheets and climbed into his bed. He just blinked at me. "Bryan, what are you doing?" "You're Mom's not here; I thought I'd help my little bro' out." I don't know why I was worried he'd say no. It wasn't like I wanted to have sex with him. I just wanted my best friend to keep from losing it completely by Wednesday. "You don't have to…" "Oh shut up and get in." I snapped at him but kept a grin on my face. "I'm not going to threaten your virtue!" That, at least, made him laugh. "Not that I could stop you if you tried." "Yeah, I could have had you any time I wanted; I'm such a stud. Now get in here before I change my mind." Justin got in, and I reached across him to turn off the desk lamp. It was a little weird at first. I wasn't sure what would be comfortable. Finally I just wrapped my arm about him and pulled him up to me. Spooning felt too intimate but in single beds you don't have much space. Justin seemed to be holding his breath. I couldn't think of any lullabies. Finally I just started humming a love song from one of the plays I'd been in. It was a soft, relaxing tune so I hoped it would work. After a couple minutes, Justin relaxed and just sank against me. He murmured something I couldn't make out and his body trembled for a moment before he fell asleep. It took me a lot longer to get there myself. I really liked how it felt to hold someone. I fell asleep wondering if it was time to start dating again. I woke to the horrible feeling that something was missing. I felt around the bed while my brain booted up. Justin wasn't there. I actually had a moment of panic before I heard the toilet flush. Chastising myself, I stretched and tried to get the rest of my brain engaged. Justin came in. He looked a lot more rested but he avoided looking at me. "Morning." I got out of bed, reached out and mussed his hair. "Feeling better?" "Yeah, thanks." He rummaged around, picking up his books while I got rid of my morning woody and had a piss. His eyes followed me as I went back to my bed and flopped down. "Are you ok with me?" I blinked. "Sure, we're cool." I smiled at the ceiling. "It was kind of nice. I've never sung someone to sleep before." He was giving me that puppy-dog smile again. That was the Justin I'd become friends with. He didn't say anything but I think he was a lot happier. Finals came and went without a hitch. Justin and I were having our breakfast ritual; Starbucks coffees, muffins and fruit out in the park. It was cold but we didn't care. We'd started it last summer and had no intention of stopping. I realized this would be our last meal together till the next semester. We were both packed for the holidays and would be heading home to our families for Christmas. I raised my coffee to him with a smile. "To a semester survived!" He laughed and raised his cup. "To not freaking out in exams." That made my smile broader. I hadn't thought about it all week. I picked up my muffin and brought up my idea between bites. "I think we should start dating next semester." Coffee spewed everywhere as Justin tried not to choke. He gasped a few times and stared at me. "What?" I shrugged. "You know, girls, dating? I think we're becoming hermits. Maybe we need some more social outlets, you know?" When I looked back at him, he looked like someone had killed his dog. He just stared at me for a few moments and then looked back at his coffee. "Yeah, sure." I draped my arm across his shoulders and gave him a quick hug. "It'll be great, Just. You'll see." Or at least, that's what I thought. ***** Things started getting tense when we came back from Winter Break. I couldn't put my finger on it. Justin's normal "easy going" smile seemed more strained. We never did get around to dating. Justin added another course to his load at the beginning of the semester, taking him to twenty-one credits, which was insane. I had been accepted into the "University Players," the campus performance troupe, so I was too busy to think about it. We didn't talk as much and we'd spend more time in the room in silence or with background music as the only sound. I Hate You I noticed Justin's smile was gone again when I was trying to pick out something to wear for an audition for Romeo & Juliet. His eyes seemed to almost push at me. "Why do you do that?" I had no idea what he was talking about. "Do what?" He grunted. "Wander around nude all the time." He rolled over and went back to reading his textbook. I suddenly felt self-conscious. I mean, I didn't care if he wanted to look at me or not but I didn't think I was exactly unpleasant to look at. Hell, I liked what I looked like when I looked in the mirror. Tall, black hair, strong jaw, lean body, wide shoulders, I was put together pretty well. I didn't exactly spend time ogling myself, but an actor should know what his physical appearance lends to for parts. I looked down. Yeah, I was naked. I'm a thespian; we have to change in all conditions back stage; at a certain point you just stop worrying about it. "I didn't know it bothered you." He made a dismissive sound. "Did I say it bothered me? I was just curious." "Never thought about it, really, you rather I keep the towel on?" Justin shut his book and jerked off the bed in a huff. "Why the fuck should I care what you wear, Bryan?" He grabbed his textbook and board. "I'm gonna hit the library." He brushed past me and left before I could get a word out. Something was wrong. I just wish I knew what it was. I didn't have time to run it down. I had auditions to get to. I was so stoked. I'd been cast as Romeo for the Shakespeare performance during "theater week". What was even better was that Tina was cast as Juliet. We were perfectly matched for the parts. Tina was one of the best actresses in Campus Theater. I couldn't think of someone else I'd rather be working with on the performances. We had a month to get our parts perfect, and like the consummate professionals we were, we dove in feet first. I had to tell Justin. We got back to the room after we received the rehearsal schedule and I couldn't contain myself. Justin looked up, his face a mixture of bewilderment and annoyance as I drug Tina in with me. "Justin, I got the part!" For a brief moment, that puppy dog smile curled his lips. "Which one, you only rehearsed a half dozen?" "Romeo!" I stepped back and gestured to Tina. "This is Tina; she's Juliet." His smile tightened and he looked her over, assessing. "You'll make a great pair." "We're going to have to rehearse a lot; we've only got a month." I couldn't wait to get going. Apparently, neither could Justin. He just nodded and tucked his laptop into his backpack. "I've got some research. You guys can use the room." I hadn't wanted to banish him from the room. I'd wanted to share my happiness with my best friend. That kind of killed the fun. "Ok." He was almost out the door before I asked, "See you at dinner?" He paused. "Yeah, sure, I've got to eat anyway. Thanks." I just didn't get it, so I cornered him at dinner. "Ok, Justin, what gives? Last semester you didn't mind when I rehearsed in the room." He frowned at me. "Well, last semester I wasn't taking twenty one credits." I shrugged. "Granted, but that hurt when you just walked out like that. I thought you'd be happy for me." Stabbing at his mashies he sighed. "I am. But look at it from my point of view; Romeo & Juliet is a romance." "So?" I couldn’t see how that would affect anything. His eyes were sad when he looked back up at me. "It'd feel like I'm the third guy on a date, Bryan. I know it's just a play but you guys are going to be declaring your love and kissing and stuff." He shrugged and looked at his plate again. "It'd be too distracting." "It's not like I'm dating Tina or anything, Just. It's just acting." He shrugged. "I know. Let's drop it, ok?" I sighed. "Ok." Either I was over at Tina's room or she was over in ours every day. I should have seen something was really wrong. Last semester Justin had enjoyed when I rehearsed with others in the room, but from the first day he kept ducking out when we used the dorm room. I honestly thought it was that he needed to study for finals and didn't need the distractions. Exams were only a couple weeks after "theater week" and he was taking the course load from hell. I thought that was all it was. Justin had ducked out to hit the library, as usual, just after Tina arrived. We went over the scenes again, fine tuning our tone and inflection and trying to be two people in love. Maybe we did that too well. I don't actually remember which one of us didn't stop the kiss, but it had kept going and going. It didn't stop for longer than a few moments when we were stripping out of our clothes. Sure, our lips were a lot of places other than our mouths, but I think it was just one long, ecstatic kiss from the point we stopped talking to the point Tina was under me, crying out from her second orgasm, as Justin walked in. The look on his face was indescribable; if you mixed horror, heartbreak and betrayal together you might get close. I was scrambling off the bed, stammering, while Tina was trying to cover herself. Justin just glared at me with that look and finally blew. He didn't actually say anything in English; it was more like some primal sound of pain. It made me feel like I'd betrayed him. "Justin, wait!" I grabbed his arm as he tried to get out the door. The look of raw pain in his eyes caused me to flinch back. That's when he said it and left. It felt like my life was over. ***** I was still sitting on the bed, staring at the floor and trying to understand why I hurt so much when Justin came back in. It was after 1am. He looked like he'd been sick, or crying, or both. He didn't say anything. He just pulled out a bag from under his bed and started putting some clothes in it. I stared at him in stricken disbelief. "What are you doing?" He shrugged. "Jeff said I could room with him till the end of the semester." That hurt worse than when he walked out five hours before. The first time had a good dose of shock in it to numb the pain. The idea that he would just walk away from our friendship was like a slow, burning acid that seemed to eat its way from my heart to my gut. "Why?" I think it was the fact I had to choke it out that made him look at me. "I thought we were friends." He was crying again. "I guess that's all we were, Brian. It's not your fault I thought it was more." I blinked at him. All the times he'd looked at me and smiled at me came flashing back. The puppy-dog smiles, the private jokes, the times we'd just sit and talk till all hours, they all looked different when viewed at from that point of view. The first time he saw me shirtless over the summer, the times I came out of the shower without worrying about a towel, all those shy, flustered looks suddenly had new meaning. The most surprising thing was I'd been playing along. Me, Mr. "thanks but I'm not interested", had been flirting right along with him. God, I was such a fucking dick. He had turned back to his bed during my revelations and had finished stuffing what he'd need into his bag. I looked at his back and had to ask, "Do you really hate me?" Justin looked at me again; it was as if I'd slapped him. He didn't say anything, but I could see his answer in his eyes. His eyes didn't leave mine as I stood up and crossed the gap between our beds. He was trembling as I bracketed his face with my hands. Fuck Romeo and Juliet, the volumes being spoken by the way he trembled said more than a thousand flowery diatribes about love. I bent down and kissed him. He whimpered as I pulled back, and looked at me like I'd just punched him. "Bryan…" I put my finger to his lips. I didn't want any words. I didn't want to talk myself into or out of this. I'd spent so much time focusing on words and speeches and dialogue that I'd missed all the rest of what was being said. I wanted to listen to the rest of the conversation; I wanted to feel what we were saying with our bodies all the way to my soul. I kissed him again and he responded. His hands, gripping my hair, were gasping I've wanted this for so long. My hands, sliding down to find the hem of his shirt, moaned Let's not wait any more. The shirt, however, said You're such a fucking klutz. It nearly strangled him and caught on his glasses before I got it over his head. His cheeks were flushed with excitement and more than a little embarrassment as he settled those ugly-shit frames back on his nose. Slowly pulling the specs off, I set them on the desk and studied his face. My fingers traced under his eyes, brushing away the tears and whispered though their awe filled touch, You have such beautiful eyes. His lips sought mine out, begging Please, tell me you meant it. I think the chill that ran down my spine and the moan that escaped my lips said enough. He didn't say anything; Justin was as hooked as I was. To anyone listening you'd have thought we were "trying to stay quiet," but we weren't, we were communicating on so many levels that words would have ruined it. Can I? His eyes were searching mine as he brought his hands to my chest. I nodded and closed my eyes as Justin's lips began searing my skin with tentative but hopeful kisses. It was all I could do to keep standing as he got to my abs. I was achingly rigid and his tongue kept brushing my tip as he tasted my navel. Then he licked me. The only part of me that didn't scream was my voice. My fingers were digging into his shoulders as he lathed around my head like it was an ice cream cone in danger of melting. He was killing me. After only a minute I had to drag him back up. He looked disappointed, but when he saw the sweat and tremors his lips curled into a smile that said Oh, you liked it. I pressed the smartass little bastard back on the bed and fought with his jeans. The desperation in my fingers snarled Just wait till I get you back! I yanked off his jeans and briefs in one motion and stopped. He was so pretty; ok, pretty wasn't the right word because there really wasn't anything effeminate about his features. That's the problem with trying to find words, sometimes there simply aren't ones that work. My body stretched out over his and I just lay there, trembling, as every place we were connected sighed, Yes. He began kissing my neck again; his hands wandering as his lips asked, Is this ok? My fingers smoothed away his concerns as I marveled in the silkiness of his hair. His hands made it to my ass and elicited a moan as they squeezed. My hips were panting, God, yeah, as we ground against each other. I shuddered as his fingers brushed between my cheeks and touched me. It wasn't unwelcome but I wasn't ready. Sorry, was what his hands whispered as he started pulling back. I clenched my cheeks and held his fingers there. The reassuring pressure promised, Next time. That had him looking at me. His eyes were so full of emotion that I couldn't understand it all. I just nodded and let my lips pressing against his say the rest. Yeah, there will be a next time. He suddenly gripped me and he couldn't hold back the startled cry as he flooded our bellies with his release. Biting my shoulder he rode through the shock of it. His teeth hissed, Oh fuck, oh god, oh… That did me in. Just the idea that I could do that to someone without saying a word threw me over the edge. I clenched my eyes shut and exhaled my own strangled surprise as I joined him. When we both stopped shaking, I sank down against him and nuzzled his neck. Justin's fingers played sleepily in my hair, saying, I don't want this to end. Rolling over on my side I pulled Justin to me and spooned against his back. As my arms held Just, the soft tremble that passed through him sank into my heart. With my cheek resting against his hair, I looked at the wrecked sheets of my empty bed. I had no intention of going back to it. My nose brushed his ear, asking, Forgiven? His contented sigh and rapid descent into sleep was all the answer I needed. Body language, who knew? ***** The applause was deafening as Tina and I took our second bows. As the curtain fell for the last time, Tina hugged me and kissed my cheek before practically dancing toward the dressing rooms. We had a new understanding after that night of release. It was more honest, more real, and I was sure it would be a friendship to last a lifetime. Justin smiled at me, his eyes moist, as I came off stage. The curl of his lips and the tense excitement in the way he stood said, That was awesome. I didn't need to ask. Everything he did spoke volumes on how he felt about the performance; but we had our game, and I enjoyed it. "What'd you think?" I looked into his eyes and couldn't help catching my breath. Without his glasses, he really did have the most beautiful eyes. His lips curled into the most mischievous smirk I'd ever seen. "I hated you in that scene." I snaked my arm around him and his body did that tremble that will always make my stomach do flip-flops. I nuzzled his neck and hoped everyone was watching. They knew me as Mr. "thanks, not interested", but the way our bodies fit so effortlessly together affirmed, Thanks, I'm taken. I kissed my way back up to his lips before smiling into Justin's misty eyes. "Yeah, I know; I hate you too." I Hate You "I hate you!" she screamed as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry baby..." he said softly, as if trying to coax a scared animal. It infuriated her all the more; this smug little prick was once again belittling her! "Tell me something, do my thoughts or my feelings mean nothing to you, or am I really just someone for you to fuck?" she asked, her voice now menacingly sweet. "Love, come on, don't be like that...you know I care about what you feel. It's just that I think you're using this as an excuse to not face up to things. Would I have married you, if I didn't love you?" he asked her, his voice still calm, his gaze still reassuring. Melissa was fuming, she just looked at him, and a wave of disgust welled up in her. "You son of a bitch, you smug son of a bitch! So, the way I am, the person that I am, is nothing more than something for you to improve, to meet your high standards?" she could feel the rage building up. For once, she'd like to hurt him, to really get him where it hurts. Melissa stalked over to her husband, who was reclining on the sofa. "Oh, and one more thing, you didn't marry me because you love me, we got married because I was pregnant. Don't confuse matters." She watched as the understanding dawned in his eyes, the way the hurt came right to the surface, before he abruptly banked the pain. "Fuck you, Melissa." Was all he was capable of saying. Melissa should have seen the thin ice she was walking on, but she was on a roll. She needed to vent. "Yeah, well maybe you should Derek," she shot back at him and made to walk away. His hand snaked out and grabbed her upper arm, spinning her back round to him. Pulled taut against his body, she was made aware of how small she was. His large hand held the back of her head, as he crushed his lips to hers, and tried to force a response from her. Melissa responded, taking his lip into her mouth, gently and sweetly, before biting down hard, tasting the explosion of blood in her mouth. He reared back instinctively. She just looked at him coldly. So much pain, so much anger was reflected in her eyes. "God, she looks hot!" Derek thought to himself. He lowered his head again, lip still slightly bleeding, he kissed her again. But she refused to respond. It was as infuriating as it was arousing. "Damn it, Melissa, I want you, can't you see that?" he whispered, pressing his throbbing dick against her midsection. But Melissa merely looked away. It was as if she didn't care. "Don't fuck with me, Melissa. Don't behave as if you don't want me, or this" - he grabbed her ass, and pulled her firmly against himself -"I know what you say in the throws of passion, I know how you scream, all the nasty things you want. How you beg for me...don't behave as if you don't want me as much as I want you." "Oh I know Derek, but you know what? You just aren't worth it anymore. I say those things to convince myself that you're worth it. That you're a decent fuck, not because I mean it." She pushed him away, as if suddenly repulsed by him. Melissa turned away, and folded her arms. Derek saw red. Viciously, he pulled her back to him, and slapped her. It stung. Melissa responded, her hands like claws, and made to scratch his eyes out. He grabbed her wrists, and restrained her, adding to her frustration. Melissa kicked savagely, nearly getting him between the legs. In response, he turned her around, and pulled her against him, crossing his arms over her front, and locking hers at her side. "Mmm...You're beautiful when you're angry..." he whispered softly. She just elbowed him, and tried to bite his arm. He reached for her waist, and tossed her over his broad shoulder, and walked to the bedroom, Melissa screaming and kicking the whole way. She didn't want this! She didn't want to...she didn't want to want him. He tossed her onto the bed, unceremoniously and lay on top of her. It seemed the only effective way to restrain her. "Get off me you oaf! You're killing me..." "Well, at least that makes something we can agree on" he smiled, and reached for his ties in the bedside drawer. "You my love," he continued, "have a very sharp tongue," as he gagged her with the first tie. Her look spoke volumes. Slowly, Derek tied up his lovely, and fuming, wife. He tied her left wrist to her left ankle, and her right wrist to her other ankle. Leaving her with her legs drawn up, and her body exposed. He got up and walked out of the room, surprised and slightly scared, Melissa attempted to scream through the gag, not that it did much good. Derek returned soon after with a knife, and the fear in her eyes grew. He came and straddled her waist, his erection pressing hard against his jeans. Looking into her eyes, he lowered the blade to her shoulder, watching how her chest rose and fell in quick succession as her fear grew in leaps and bounds. He placed the edge against her smooth skin, and pressed, Melissa turned her head away and started to cry. Derek cut through the strap of her dress. Then went to the other shoulder and did the same. Lowering the dress, he exposed her breasts to the cold air. She just stared at him, in fear and wonder. He ran the blade gently between her breasts, she held her breath, for fear he would cut her. "You see my love, you are mine. You belong to me. As a result, I feel I have to mark you as mine." She wriggled wildly at the last part, now truly petrified that he would hurt her. "I'm going to carve my name into your skin, and every morning when you look at yourself in the mirror, you'll see my name. And know who owns you." He lifted the blade, so it was at a 45-degree angle to her skin, and made a small cut. A tiny line of red blood came to the surface. Melissa screamed through her gag, and wildly tried to wriggle away. Derek grabbed her chin roughly, "Don't move, bitch." He warned. Looking down again, he selected a new spot, this time moving up from the bottom of her breast, to her nipple, and made to cut there. It was too much for Melissa; the intensity of her fear caused her to piss on herself. Which Derek found most interesting. "Oh, and what's this?" he asked her, lifting up the hem of her dress to look. "It's wet here," he said, as he pressed his middle and forefinger against the material covering her crotch. "Is this because you want me, or is this something else, I wonder?" Melissa just cried, so humiliated that he would torment her like this. He undid the fly of his jeans, and his engorged cock sprang free, pushing his jeans to his knees, he positioned himself between her legs. Melissa was aghast; surely he wouldn't do her when she was like this. He wouldn't use her urine as a lubricant...for she wasn't wet. "Oh please no," she thought, "please, don't let him do this!" He moved the material of her panties to one side, and pressed the head of his cock into her. Very slowly, he pressed into her. She was tight and dry, but the piss helped. He told her all of this. He thrust in and out a few times, Melissa growing more and more mortified with each stroke. He stopped, and Melissa silently whispered a prayer of thanks. Derek pulled out and removed the gag, "I'm sorry love," Melissa whispered contritely. "No you're not." he replied, and straddled her face. "Suck it." "What? I can't do that...its been in, its covered in my - " " - Piss. I know, I want you to taste it, and then I want you to clean this bed, with your tongue." "Now Melissa." he ordered her again, when she seemed reluctant. She gingerly licked the tip of his dick, and then recoiled in disgust. Unimpressed by her behaviour, Derek placed two fingers against her pussy, and smeared her juices over her lips. Melissa thrashed her head against the bed in revulsion. But Derek, just grabbed her by the hair, and held her nose. Eventually needing to breathe, Melissa opened her mouth. Only for it to be filled with Derek's cock. He moved her head back and forth slowly, talking to her the whole time, "That's your piss, slut, do you like how it tastes? See, you aren't moving away now, are you...you must really like it. I wonder what your friends would think if they saw you doing this. Lets find out." He pulled out of her mouth and got off of her. Lifting her up, he carried her into the back yard. A wire fence only separated their house and the neighbours. He placed her onto the garden table and watched her. "See, at any moment, our neighbour could come out and see you like this...naked and tied up like. I bet it'd really make him hot...maybe I should call him out?" "No!" she shouted quickly, "No, please don't do that...I'll do anything, just not in front of Mr. Tauchen. You know he's my boss! Please," She pleaded, "Anything?" Derek asked her tentatively. Derek walked round to Melissa's head, "Suck him." He ordered, to test the sincerity of her claim. She did so willingly, loudly sucking on his dick, bobbing her head back and forth as best she could, no longer concerned about the fact that it was covered in her piss. Now certain that she would do as he told her, he carried her back to the bedroom, grabbing a drink from the fridge along the way. He locked the door, and untied Melissa, left her on the bed, and sat on the chair across from it. "Touch yourself," he commanded. "I want to see you play with yourself, and fuck yourself, the way I am so completely unable to. Or else." he continued coldly. Nervous, but still compelled, Melissa sat back on her heels, and started to stroke her clit self-consciously. She pinched her nipples, and looked confused when they hardened. When her pussy started to get wet, she looked at Derek, as if he could explain this strangeness. When she looked at him, she saw how aroused this was making him. His dick was starting to drip with precum, and his gaze held so much heat. Every so often, he'd take a sip of juice, as if he were merely watching an extremely hot porno. To her surprise, she realised she was enjoying this. "Cum for me." he said, this time his voice cracking with desire. Taken away by the intensity of him watching, and his control over her, she found it relatively easy to cum. Her movements became shorter and faster, her breathing light pants, before long, she was lying on her side, screaming as the peaks of her orgasm rippled through her. Still lying there, over coming the final waves of her climax, Derek got up and walked over to the edge of the bed. Aware of his presence, she knelt in front of him. "That was very good," - she blushed and smiled in response, - "I think you deserve a treat." She looked up at him questioningly. He held his dick in his left hand, and released a golden wave of piss over her upturned face. He grabbed the back of her head with his free hand, so she couldn't move away. "Suck me, my little slut." He ordered her when he was done. A bead of yellow liquid still hung from his cock. Having accepted that this turned her on, Melissa willingly reached forward to suck him, enjoying the way he got hard in her mouth. He stopped her, and told her to get on all fours. She assumed the position, and waited excitedly for his penetration, on the bed. He got on the bed behind her, and pressed the tip of his dock against her opening. She gyrated her hips in response. "You want this?" he asked softly, "Mhmm... yes...so much," she whimpered. "Tell me what you are." he commanded, his voice still low. "I'm...your wife," she said gingerly, licking her lips, knowing it wasn't the answer he wanted. "No, Melissa, tell me what you are." He ordered her again, this time with more authority. "I'm...I'm your...I'm your slut," she whispered the last part. He pressed his head into her, and she moaned in gratification. "Again." "I'm your slut," she moaned in desire and resignation, "I want you, I want to feel you deep inside of me, please, over and over again..." she said, her desire now removing her inhibitions. Derek was all too willing to oblige. He fucked her hard, pushing deep into her. Causing her pain and pleasure simultaneously. She came again, clamping hard on him; he continued to fuck her, making her scream, her pussy still overly sensitive. She pushed her hips back to meet his, wanting more of him. He was getting close to cumming, he felt that tingle down his balls, and pulled out of her abruptly, spurting his load all over her face and breasts. Lying beside her, taking her into his arms, he told her, "I don't want you to clean up, I want you to wear my cum tomorrow, to show everyone that I own you." He kissed her forehead, and closed his eyes. The next day, she did. I Hate You When Kat moved across the country for university she was determined not to let her relationship with James be ruined. This is a conversation between the two.) James: Go on... you use a toy while thinking of me sitting behind you, playing with your nipples and kissing your neck. Oh and take pictures for me. Make me wish I was there. Kat: What kind of pictures? There's a long pause during which Kat crosses the room to get her favourite vibe and sits cross legged on her bed waiting for a response. James: Just document your playtime for me. Surprise me. Kat: So pictures like this... (Kat sends C:\Users\Kat\Documents\Camera\2008-02-13-08713.jpg) (Transfer of "2008-02-13-08713.jpg" is complete. ) James: Yeah, that looks great. More like that one... and go lower too. Kat: It's cold outside my duvet though James: Excuses, excuses. Just imagine me there warming you up... or...imagine you're kneeling, I'm behind you kneeling as well, kissing your neck, playing with your nipple s with one hand and playing with your pussy with the other... (Kat send C:\Users\Kat\Documents\Camera\2008-02-13-09177.jpg ) (Transfer of "2008-02-13-09177.jpg" is complete.) James: Yes, just like that. But while i'm kissing your neck and playing with your tits, my fingers would be rubbing your clit... before sliding slowly inside you... Kat: Mmhmm ... Like this... (Kat sends C:\Users\Kat\Documents\Camera\2008-02-13-09769.jpg ) (Kat sends C:\Users\Kat\Documents\Camera\2008-02-13-09785.jpg ) (Transfer of "2008-02-13-09769.jpg" is complete.) (Transfer of "2008-02-13-09785.jpg" is complete. ) James: Do that while you're on your knees... and have it inside you... Kat: It's been inside me all but the first photo James: Well then take one to show me. With it inside you with you on your knees. (Kat sends C:\Users\Kat\Documents\Camera\2008-02-13-10364.jpg) (Transfer of "2008-02-13-10364.jpg" is complete. ) James: Heh yeah... Just like that. Kat: That do you? Cause stopping to take photos is annoying it interrupts my playtime James: One more for me, on your knees, leaning back... cam fairly close, toy almost completely out of you while you're spreading your pussy lips slightly and touching your clit Kat: Don't want much do you? (Kat sends C:\Users\Kat\Documents\Camera\2008-02-13-09786.jpg) (Transfer of "2008-02-13-09786.jpg" is complete.) Kat: now can i just play? James: yes, but you cant cum till I say Kat: I hate you James: Just imagine... me there between your legs... eating you out... sucking and gently biting your clit. While the toy is still inside you... Kat: You are pure evil James: No, if I was then I'd keep going until you were about to explode... then stop Kat: Yes, that would be mean. James: Until you're almost screaming, and moaning my name... Kat: So umm.. soon then James: Exactly, so you have to stay like that so close, needing to cum but you can't Kat: Mmm! You are evil James: I know. Can you imagine me moving the toy.. then playing with your tits as my cock rubs against your pussy teasingly... while my thumb still strokes your clit Kat: You're just really torturing me now. (A long pause ensues while Kat continues teasing her pussy with the vibe, the pad of her thumb rubbing back and forth across her clit.) Kat: James?! James: What? Kat: Stop being mean to me! James: But it's fun... making you think of me putting my hard cock in your hot wet longing pussy sooooo slowly... Kat: Mmmmm yes... but please... I'm so close James: Having me thrust hard inside you.. tugging and lightly twisting your nipples Kat: Oh fuck... James.. please James: Before you can cum... I want one more picture that must have your pussy in it and that shows me how horny you are and how much you want to cum... Kat: Please, just let me cum : James: Nope Kat: I hate you so much right now James: Would you be saying that if I was there? Fucking you hard... playing with your tits and your clit... Kat: Yes if you were being this mean to me. James: Well, you should be a good girl then shouldn't you? Kat: I hate you. I hate you. James: Be nice or I'll say you cant cum at all Kat: Nooo! (Kat sends C:\Users\Kat\Documents\Camera\2008-02-13-09796.jpg) Kat: That is one sopping wet, actually making my duvet wet, dying to cum pussy (Transfer of "2008-02-13-09796.jpg" is complete.) Kat: Now please?! James: I want you to work yourself as hard and fast as you can and when I say you can cum... I will count down from ten Kat: OK (James proceeds to count down from ten, the gap between the numbers growing longer and longer. Slouched low in her chair, feet up on the desk, either side of the laptop Kat's eyes never leave the screen as she works her vibe faster and faster in her pussy. Struggling not to cum. Her vision blurring as the wait between One and Cum seems to last an eternity.) James: CUM (Several minutes later) James: Kat? You ok? Kat: Mmhmm... Sorry I just lost my ability to type. James: You enjoyed? Kat: I hate you. I Hate You Amerks92hockey rocks for editing another of my grotesque scribblings and turning it into a well read story. Please Comment and please vote... let me know what you think of my story and how I am make it better for next time... As we walk into your room from the coffee shop, I push you hard against the wall. Not hard enough to hurt you but hard enough to get my desires across to you. While pinning your body, I reach down and pull your hands above your head, lacing your fingers and holding them high. I begin kissing at the nape of of your neck, biting it lightly and moving along towards your ear. As I kiss your delicious skin I pause to whisper how sexy you are... How much you turn me on... How much I want to make you cum. Your only response to me is "I hate you" which brings a low laugh from me. Your breathing changes while I am talking, your body thus betraying you as you become more turned on. Your hips swaying, your breathing quickening, your body beginning to give in to your own wanton desires. With my right hand I begin roaming across your sides, back, and ass. Gently, I start massaging you through your clothes and teasing your senses even more. Nipping and licking my way along your neck to your jaw, I tell you how I am going to taste your body and make you cum. With my free hand I grab a hold of your ass cheeks to emphasize my words. I continue to knead that sexy ass as I tell you how my tongue is going to wiggle and probe your tight-n-sensitive back door. I gently squeeze your fingers, press my body harder into you and caress your sweet cheeks more. I tell you how I will soon be stroking my tongue from your clit to your tight asshole. I tell you how I will soon be tasting every inch of your naked-n-raw flesh that I desire so much. "Do you want it Michelle... Do you want to squeeze my head between your thighs, squeeze my tongue with your anal muscles as you cum? Do you want to taste the sweetness of your ass on my lips as I passionately kiss you?" As the words roll off my lips I feel your body shake with anticipation and excitement. I reach around and take your right breast in my hand, caressing it like I did your succulent ass. Your nipple hardening against my touch. Again your body reacts to my touch so I release your hands. I release them just long enough to wrap my palm around your soft throat. Quickly I move my hand from your soft tit and slip it into the front of your PT pants. My fingers grazing across that sensitive little nub, your deliciously hard clit. Together I use my hands on your throat and crotch to guide you to the empty bed in your room and push you against it roughly. Bending you at the waist I push your face into the mattress, then yank your PTs and panties quickly to the floor. You begin to protest but I tell you to keep your mouth shut and enjoy the pleasures I am giving you. I drop to my knees behind you, gripping the soft globes of your ass as I slowly pull them open. I stare mystified at your cute little starfish as it winks at me. Starting at the top of your soft crack, I make long licks all the way to your clit. You wiggle, moan and gasp as you feel the warmth of my tongue slither through your crack, across your asshole and deep into the folds of your pussy. You squeal as my tongue dips inside your soft flesh and then strokes your hard clit. With every scent, every taste, my desire for you grows. You continuously move your hips trying to make my tongue hit your fun spots and also to get away from its assault on your body. Your try and stand back up, only to be forced back across the bed as I cram my tongue deep into your delicious little ass. While enjoying the sweet tangy flavors of your ass, I lay a hard smack to both of your cheeks. A low moan escapes your mouth in response, so I slap each cheek again. Despite your urge to move away from me, your frustrations get the best of you and you push your ass back harder into my face. With a mouth full of delicious ass I continue my duties as the devils little helper. Again and again I run my tongue from your juicy pussy and clit to your tasty ass. I hear you panting and moaning into the mattress, your fingers clutching the fabric as the sensations begin to overwhelm you. If you could see me, my face is soaked with your juices... A smile stretching from ear to ear because I know how much pleasure I am giving you. The sweet aroma of your asshole and dripping pussy filling my nostrils, flooding my taste-buds and overpowering my senses completely. Your own emotions now betraying you constantly as you thrust your hips repeatedly against my face. The muscles of your ass cheeks gripping at my head as you attempt to trap my tongue within your anal ring. As you begin to move too much I give you another quick smack to each cheek. As much as I had hoped it would give you pause it only heightened your eroticism and made you moan louder into the mattress. Since you are so turned on, I decide it's time for you to take a more active role in your own pleasure. "Gimme your hands, hold your ass open" I say. You reach back, pulling your sweet cheeks apart and quickly expose yourself completely to me. With my own hands now free, I lick a finger and insert it slowly between the soft lips of your soaked pussy. I bury my finger to the knuckle then pull it free and suck your juices from it. Again I slide my finger in and out of your dripping womanhood but this time reach forward and offer to share your juices with you. Greedily you suck my finger as though it were a small cock. You lick and suck at it, savoring the sweet deliciousness as I just did. Pulling free from your mouth I repeat the process over and over, each of us enjoying the raw, sweet taste of your juices. Eventually I slip my finger back inside you but keep it there as I grind the rest of my fingers hard against your little clit. Since you are holding your ass open, I lean in and begin tickling your puckered asshole with the tip of my tongue. I begin by licking just the outer edges of your cinnamon-ring to tease you. Your body responds by arching your ass directly into my face. I then move my tongue a bit as I attempt to lick each ridge of your anal muscle, moving from the outside edges, along the dirty creases, to the delicious center of your sweet, sweet hole. As each pass of my tongue caresses your asshole, I add a little more pressure and a little more lust. As my desires grow, I slide a second between the soft folds of your pussy, stretching your further and pleasuring you more. With two fingers slipping in and out of your dripping cunt, your ass cheeks open in your own hands and my tongue teasing your sensitive asshole... I start to devour you. I lock my lips around your dark stained hole and suck it hard as I slide my tongue up your sweet ass. Your breath catches a bit and then you squeal as I fully penetrate you. Slowly I begin to fuck your ass with my tongue as though it were a mini cock. Sucking, licking, tonguing and biting... I begin eating your asshole like it is my last meal. Your moans now sound like half screams as the excitement and sensations begin rocking your body. I feel your juices seeping out of you and dripping down my hand as my fingers continue working on your tight pussy. With my free hand I reach out and smack your ass hard, again. I smile inside as your body jumps a little with each impact. I feel your asshole clamp down momentarily on my tongue as you take the sting of the smacks. I feel you then relax as my tongue slides completely into your tight-n-tasty backdoor. With my tongue fully buried in your ass I begin wiggling it, twisting it, and thrusting it deep inside you. With complete abandon I attack you with my mouth, in your mind it feels like I am trying to eat your soul through your ass. Reading your body, I take my fingers from your pussy and remove my mouth from your juicy ass. With another quick smack to each cheek, I slowly slide my pussy soaked finger into your asshole. I love how your body fights my finger at first by clamping down on my intrusion with your anal muscles. I love even more how your desire for ass play right now betrays you. I love how your tight asshole relaxes allowing my finger to easily slide deep into your dirty ass. Twisting my fingers and sawing it back-n-forth as I slide it into your ass repeatedly. While doing all this I lean in and begin licking at your stretched brown ring of muscle and nerves. The combined stimulation of my finger filling your ass plus my tongue stroking your sensitive anal nerves is obvious by your loud panting and moaning. I then dip down and suck your clit hard between my lips as I continue finger fucking your hot-n-juicy ass. I graze your clit lightly with my teeth, suck it with my lips and bathe it with my tongue. All this attention to your yummy parts then causes your body to relax, your asshole continues to loosen around my finger till it is gliding through your ring and making you almost cum. Spitting your clit from my mouth, I slowly stand-up behind you and in doing so pause long enough to slip a fresh finger into your pussy. You wail loudly as I now stretch both your pussy and asshole. Leaning over you as I finger your sweet holes, I begin whispering in your ear. "Do you want it Michelle, Do you want to cum? Do you want to drown me in your sweet nectars as you cum in my mouth or would you rather cum, shaking on my cock as I pound your beautiful pussy into submission?" I say as I lean back and take in the view. You have no idea how hot-n-sexy you look right now Michelle. From this angle I see your gorgeous face all flushed and sweaty. I see all your yummy bits on display as you lay there bent over the bed holding yourself wide open. I see your tasty little rosebud shimmering wet with my saliva and your own juices, the folds of your pussy glistening with your wetness and your hard little clit begging to be sucked. I feel your body responding to me, your asshole massaging my finger as it easily slides in and out of you. I see my middle finger gliding effortlessly through the swollen wet lips of your pussy. It's almost too much for my senses and I have to force myself to divert my stare back to your sexy face. I wish I had the willpower to stop what I was doing and kiss you right now but alas I do not. We will both have to "suffer" and deal with the pleasures at hand because I am by no means ready to stop. As I am looking at you, I bottom out my fingers and again grind my knuckles against you. The smile and moan that light up your face once again tell me your are thoroughly enjoying yourself... even if you hate me for torturing you like this. As before, I drop to my knees behind you but this time I pause to reach down and free my cock from the confines of my pants. With my hardness now free, I begin anew with my worshiping of your body. My lips, fingers, and tongue ready to continue the Devils work at tormenting your orgasmic little body.. Pulling my two fingers from you and reaching up, I quickly force them into your mouth. I have always been the guy to share my good fortune with others so why should this time be different than any other. Your own passion getting the best of you, you release your cheeks and grab hold of my wrist so I can't take it away. With renewed fever you start sucking hungrily at my fingers, savoring every elicit taste and flavor your pussy and ass has to offer. Suddenly I slap your ass very hard with my left hand. Once, twice, three times, making your body sting and yet almost cum. While you are distracted by the momentary pain, I yank my hand from you, my fingers making an audible pop. I take my hands, spread your cheeks wide open and slide my tongue as deep into your slightly gaped asshole. I couldn't help myself, your sweet little asshole looks so tasty, so sexy, so pure... It looks fucking hot winking at me, still gaped open the same size as the finger which was just buried in it. I couldn't help myself as I ran my tongue from your tongue to your ass over and over again, sucking up your juices as I went. Eventually I stopped my tongue bath just long enough to slide my tongue once again into your asshole. As deep as humanly possible I slide my tongue into your tight little ring, the sweet tangy flavor of your ass filling my mouth as I go. The delicious taste and my tongue coupled with your pussy juice still wet on my lips is driving me wild. You jump a little as I suck hard on your swollen anal ring and begin to violently fuck your ass with my tongue. Too much, it's all too, too much as I reach down and begin to stroke myself. I feel you jump as the heat of my cock comes in contact with your leg. Slowly stroking myself I begin alternating between your pussy and ass with my tongue. Probing, licking, sucking, I pleasure you as my hand is rapidly stroking my cock. I'm now torturing myself as I can't stop debating whether to continue dining on your soul or simply stand up and push my swollen cock deep inside of your wetness. Much to my sadness I realize I need to bring things down a notch. Right now, making/letting you cum would be as easy as shooting chickens in a bathtub and I certainly don't want this to be too easy on you. Releasing my cock, I stand, grab your wrists and hold them back over your head. While holding them there I slap you hard on your ass cheeks again. I stand up behind you now, take my cock and rest it against your wet and swollen clit while grinding myself against you. I hear you moan as my cock teases your hard nub and you moan even louder as I release your hands and grab your hair roughly. Your locks are soft, wet with sweat as I pull hard on your scalp. "Do you want it Michelle, do you want to finally cum? Do you want me to finally give you that release your body needs so much?" I say as I wrap my free hand around your throat. Squeezing down hard I pull you up to look at me by the neck and hair. I stare into your eyes and see tears. At first I think I have hurt you but before I can asks what is wrong I realize it isn't physical pain which is making you weep. Those are tears of passion and sexual frustration. I realize you are about to cry because you want and need to cum so, so bad. Too bad I am in charge of this game and there is no way I am letting you cum yet... you are not ready yet. Still holding you by the throat I lean into you and taste the saltiness of your first tear. It is wet and cool on my lips, which is a stark contrast to how your wetness between your thighs felt a few minutes ago. "Tell me what you want Michelle... use your words and tell me exactly what you want" I say as I twist your hair a bit more. "Do you want this married cock to fuck you till you cum or would you rather taste my cock as it slides into your sweet mouth?" I ask. With a loud groan you push your ass back at me as your answer. Your voice is raspy as you choke a bit from the pressure of my hand. Finally through a gasping voice you say "I jussst wa-aant t-t-tooo cum!!" "Say it Michelle, tell me what the fuck you want or I will leave" I say. With that I release your throat and hair only to take a light hold of your sexy face. I bring my lips to yours and kiss you passionately. As our lips mash together, our tongues begin to battle each other. As I break our kiss I grind my hardness against your wet pussy and slide my finger into your mouth. "Which will it be, do you want to cum or shall I leave?" I ask. Your response is quick and catches me off guard as your hand shoots between us and grabs hold of my cock. "Get the fuck off me Winn, get the fuck off me and let me have some of this cock," you say with a squeeze. The passion in your eyes is almost frightening but says it all while being very hot. I push off of you and stand there waiting, curious as to how you think this will proceed. Again you surprise me but this time it is with your speed. You are quick like an Emu as you flip your body around so your head is hanging off the edge of the bed and level with my hardness. Without any hesitation you reach and grab hold of my cock. A moan escapes your lips as your grab me and guide me into your mouth. Now it is my turn to moan and groan, the wet heat of your mouth acting like a bolt of lightning through my body as you take my cock in deeply. Reaching up, your hands grab my ass to give you leverage as you begin sucking my cock like you life depends on it. As if I wasn't turned on enough, your mouth begins to bring me close to the edge of orgasm. Over and over you pull me by the ass, then push me away... moving my cock in and out of your mouth. Slow then fast, just the tip, then choking on the shaft as you suck my cock with uninhibited passion as though you were a woman possessed. You are working me so well I soon feel my cum beginning to tighten in my balls. To give myself a moment of rest I pull out of your mouth and then feel your wet lips sucking and licking at my balls. To further take my mind off the intense pleasures you are giving me I lean over you and run my tongue roughly against your clit. Soft fast strokes of my tongue much like you are doing to my balls. I reach up and slap your clit soft then harder. You respond by running your tongue from my balls to my taint, stopping just short of my shaved asshole. Now virtually lying atop you, I spread your lips wide with my left hand. As I expose your dripping hole and hard clit, I slap your pussy hard with my right hand. One, two, three hard slaps I feel your body beginning to shake like before. You reach under me and slide a finger inside yourself, stirring around in the juices and soaking it with delicious. I try and catch your finger in my mouth as you pull it free but you are Emu quick and begin sucking the finger before I can get to it. I expect you are about savor yourself again but am shocked when I suddenly feel you probing at my tight asshole. Although I clench up at first, you continue to probe me causing my anal muscles to slowly relax. As I suck your clit into my mouth again, I slide my own wet finger deep into your ass. Together we begin teasing each other's assholes as we lay there locked together. I feel you pull free from my ass, then slide back into me with a wetter finger. I love how you just tasted my ass as you licked your finger to get it wet again. As we continue to finger and lick each other, I feel your body continue to tense and shake again. I know how desperate you must be to cum. We've been going at it for over an hour now and I still won't let you release your orgasm. When you take my cock back into your mouth and begin massaging my asshole deeply with your finger, you almost make me cum as you graze my prostate. You feel me jump and begin sucking me harder. My brain is on fire with sensations as your mouth continues to glide along my cock, your finger continues to probe my ass. Your free hand now wrapped around my hardness, jerking me in your mouth as you suck passionately on my swollen cock. With each thrust of your finger, suck of your mouth and twist of your hand you are pushing me closer and closer to the edge. While you are feverishly pleasuring me, I continue to slip my finger in and out of your ass while dipping my tongue into your honey flavored petals and sucking your clit. I guess I want to test you, I want to see if your sweet ass can take it. I want to see if in the heat of passion your cute little asshole can take two of my fingers deep into your puckered depths. With that I slide a finger deep into your pussy and pull it out, watching in awe as a string of your sweet nectar drips from the tip. I then slide my other finger out of your ass, take it into my mouth. I suck away at your tangy sweetness, both to savor the sweet flavor and to re-wet it so it will slide back into you smoothly. I then pair my two fingers and place them against your tight hole. I run my tongue along your clit and then slap it hard as I push my fingers forward and slowly insert them into your ass. Your muscles fight me at first, but begin to relax and allow my two fingers to penetrate you. With the second smack to your clit, your asshole completely relaxes and allows my fingers to slide together deep into your wanton little asshole. As my fingers come to rest fully in your ass I pause to let you get use to the fullness. As I pause, I suddenly feel your teeth grazing along my cock as though you are trying to tell me to continue. Taking my cock from your mouth you moan loudly, "Holy fuuuuck," you say as I smack your clit again. I Hate You Since my cock is already out of your mouth, I decide it is time to reposition and push myself off you with my free hand, my fingers still filling and stretching your sweet ass. As I push myself off you, your finger slips from my ass. I am surprised as I feel a rush of cool air on my stretched little hole, an almost emptiness with your finger gone. Still sliding my fingers around within the muscular ring of your ass I pull your hips around with my free hand. I now have you lying sideways on the bed. As I position you, I bring your left leg up and lay it on my shoulder. I now have a great angle to watch your pussy drip as I continue to finger that sexy butt of yours. I reach down now with my left hand and fish the small bottle of mineral oil out of my pants. Biting the top, I twist the cap and liberally pour the liquid all over your sweet pussy and ass. Almost instantly my penetrations of your ass get 100% easier as the lube works its way into your stuffed little hole. I then pull my fingers free from your ass for a quick moment. I reach over and spray the oil directly into your gaping hole. "I want to pleasure you, not hurt you," I say as the cold liquid blasts your sore anal ring and spatters the inner walls of your naughty little hole. With a generous amount of oil now coating you inside and out, my fingers become a blur of passion as I rapidly slide them in and out of your backdoor. You wail and moan into the mattress as the sensations course through your body. As you get louder, I slap your clit harder again and easily slip two of my left fingers into your juices and oil soaked pussy. Now you are practically screaming as my fingers have you stuffed in both your pussy and ass. To keep you quiet I pull my hand from your pussy, take hold of your head and force your hot mouth once again around my cock. Now I get to share in your pleasure, enjoying the feelings as you not only suck my dick but moan around it. Still drilling my fingers into your asshole your body starts to convulse again, your much awaited orgasm building. In between my own moans of pleasure I ask you, "Do you like feeling so full, so wet, so ready to cum...Do you want to cum now Michelle? Tell me with your mouth, suck my cock like you mean it. Make me believe you want to cum." Suddenly it feels like heaven just went down on me as you begin sucking me ravenously, your hand a blur as you stroke my cock into your mouth. Both of us moaning and panting as we bring each other closer and closer to cumming. Reaching over, I grab your hair hard and forc my entire cock into your mouth and quickly yank your head free. You cough lightly with a gag as I say, "Enough." Sliding my fingers from your ass I push you and roll you over. "It's time to cum gorgeous, get on your bed on your knees." And as quickly as I say it, you roll off the bed and hop on yours. I grab your pillows and stuff them in front of you to scream into. I move behind you and slap your ass cheeks. Positioning my cock against your pussy, I poke you with just the tip. I smack your ass again then slip a finger in and out of your oiled ass as I say "Tell me Michelle, Tell me now." With a yelp and a moan you practically scream, "fuck me, please just fuck me Winn, let me cum and fuck me." Before the last words even leave your mouth, I slide my entire length into you. I hear your scream loudly into the pillows, your body shaking hard as you instantly begin to cum. Your pussy begins milking my cock as your muscles contract with your orgasm. Through your moans and screams I hear you shouting, "yes, yes, yyyeessss, oh fuck." over and over. Since you finally found your orgasm I decide to make it even better. I grab a hold of your hips and pull you tight against me. You are almost falling off the bed as I grip your throat tightly and pull you even harder onto my throbbing cock. By now I begin pounding my cock into you. Your wet pussy feels so amazing as I begin fucking you for all I am worth. As if I didn't think you were sexy before, you are blowing my mind with how hot you are as you cum. With your throat in my right hand, I slap your ass hard with my left, then reach forward to pinch your nipple hard and quickly wrap my hand in your hair. Using your hair and throat as leverage, I pound my cock into you as hard as I can. "Cum for me Michelle, cum hard... Cum now... CUM NOW MICHELLE!!!" I yell as you begin screaming even louder and shaking even harder. With my own orgasm now dangerously close I keep fucking you as you cum again and again. With each jolt of your orgasm, I feel your pussy contracting around me, your juices making us just a little wetter and your body shaking just a little harder. Even through the pillows, your orgasmic screams of passion are almost deafening. As the strongest of your orgasm waves hits you, I can feel your juices running like warm honey and dripping off my balls as they slap your clit violently. Finally you can't take anymore and reach back slapping my thigh. Rightly so I take it as a sign you need me to stop, that your body can't handle any more pleasure. Gradually I ease my pace until I have all but stopped sliding in and out of you. My own orgasm is so close it feels as though at any moment I will explode. I pull my cock from you and rest the tip against your tender asshole as I begin stroking it quickly. My hand is pounding my hardness as I press the wet head into your ass over and over. As my tip pushes through your anal ring, the feeling is finally too much for me and my orgasm crashes through my body. My cock swells just a little bit larger as my cum starts to explode just inside your ass. You and I both moan loudly as my hot cum starts shooting into your heavenly asshole. Again and again and again my cock pulses as more of my sweet cum shoots. As I paint your insides with my sweet juices, it begins to leak around my cock and drip down onto your well fucked pussy. My whole body shaking as the final throws of passion hit me and my orgasm begins to subside. Slowly, so I don't hurt you I pull my softening cock from your deliciousness and drop to my knees. Hungrily I begin lapping up my cum, licking your pussy clean and sucking your sweet asshole dry. I collect it all in my mouth as I drain your body of every drop of our juices I can find. Rolling over, you sit up to face me and lean in to kiss my wet lips. Taking your head in my hands, I kiss you passionately. Our tongues fight as we share the tastiness of our combined passion. Kissing, tasting, enjoying, we share the wonderful blend of flavors that our spontaneous lust has created.... After a while we break our kiss and I ask you "Is that what you wanted Michelle? Is that what you needed? Did you ever think this guy would be able to do that to you when we met a few short weeks ago?" With a smile on your face you laugh and say "Your stupid... ... ... I hate you," with a wink. I Hate You (Justin's Side) The good things about going to college during the summer semester were smaller classes, sunny days and weekends skating. It also gave me time to write and prepare for the adjustment from living at home to being a college student without the intensity of the Fall Semester. I'd always been a bookworm; my father had to practically kick me out of the house to get me to do anything other than read, write and study. Dad had been a jock; I wasn't what he'd wanted out of a son. My sister was a better son to him than I was; of course, as far as Dad was concerned, he had two daughters. Yeah, my parents knew I was gay. They'd been cool with it, and supported me through my coming out, but I know it was just one more disappointment for my father. When I had a chance to go to college early, I jumped at it. The only problem with summer semester was the heat. Why I chose a southern college was beyond me. I suppose I was planning on having warmer winters and didn't think about the fact that summers would broil your skin off by noon. Of course, that also meant there were a lot of great looking guys wandering about with their shirts off. I think that's how I fell for Bryan; it wasn't quite love at first sight, we had English class together so we'd already seen each other a lot, but it was definitely infatuation at first stumble. "Look Out!" It was all I could think to call out as some idiot walked right into the skate-zone while I was taking my turn. He ruined a really good shot at some air. I didn't plow right into him by a combination of his quick reflexes and my nearly throwing myself off the board to keep from hitting him. He was muttering to himself as I got back to him, shaking his head and brushing himself off. I realized who it was before he looked up. "Hey, Bryan, you ok?" He looked stunned, and for a moment I was worried. Then he had to hit me with that ironic sense of humor of his. "Damn, Justin." Standing up, he finished brushing off. "I know you like me, but you don't have to plow me into the dirt to get my attention." I choked. I hadn't planned on being in the closet, but I also hadn't told anyone I was gay. I didn't realize it was that obvious. The worst part was that I did like Bryan. He was tall, handsome, intelligent and really nice. I looked at the ground and turned to go back up to the start of the run. "Yeah, sorry Bryan." "Hey, how long you going to skate?" I stopped and checked my watch before shrugging. I really hadn't made any friends yet at school, and I was feeling a little lonely. Being a freshman sucked. "Another half hour I guess. Asphalt will be too hot to do anything after that." "Some guys are getting together for Frisbee down on the field. Why don't you come down after you're done?" He looked me over like trying to assess if I was up to it. I blinked. "Really?" "Yeah, I'll even hang while you finish your freaky shit." He winked. I don't think I'd ever had a good looking guy wink at me before. It was only friendly, but damn if it didn't curl my toes. I nodded and jogged back up for my next turn. I did better that half hour than I'd done the last two weeks; I think having an audience helped. One thing was for sure; I'd impressed Bryan. "I just can't believe a bookworm like you can skate like that." I beamed. I couldn't believe how good it felt to have someone notice. "Dad insisted that I had to be outside doing something 'physical' any day it wasn't raining. I hated team sports so I just rode my board around. After a while, I just got into it." He laughed and then waved at some guys tossing about a Frisbee absently. "Hey guys, this is Justin." They all greeted me with smiles. Bryan was apparently quite popular with a diverse set of people, and the addition of a geeky freshman didn't seem to faze them. I thought that was so cool. Bryan looked at our group for a moment. "Want to do teams?" The affirmative nods went all around, but I was feeling more than a little outclassed. Bryan just smiled and put his hand on my shoulder. "Well, since Just's already shirtless, we'll be skins." Tony, a dark guy with shoulders about two miles wide, decided he'd go skins since he was shirtless too. Teams were set; I was doomed. Smiling, Bryan handed me the Frisbee and peeled off his shirt. I just stood there, awestruck. Bryan was perfect; tall, dark hair, hazel eyes, wide shoulders and just enough hair on his chest and abs to say "I'm all man". I felt like such a loser; I also had to fight the urge to throw a bone. That would have gone over like a lead balloon. He laughed and mussed my hair. "Come on, squirt, let's teach these lard-asses that brains and beauty always win over brawn." I blushed. I couldn't tell if he was teasing me because he knew what I was thinking, or if he was just having a good time. We didn't win; honestly, I suck at team sports. I'm not scared of the ground, getting hurt or looking like an idiot. I just don't seem to coordinate well with others. Bryan didn't seem to care. In fact, that was when we started hanging together more. We made Saturday morning board and game a ritual. I would skate till the asphalt got unbearable and then we'd head for the fields for a Frisbee or V-ball game. I tried to get him on the board a few times. He sucked at it almost as bad as I did at team sports, but tried to look cool doing it. I suppose it was just as well; he got to spike me into the sand more than a couple times in V-ball. It was kind of like sibling rivalry; to me it felt almost like foreplay. Being with Bryan made me feel special; not the "in the glow of a popular guy" special, but he simply seemed to genuinely like me and went out of his way to make me feel welcome. Ok, I had a crush on him by the end of the summer. What gay guy wouldn't? It was near the end of the summer session when we got our room assignments I'd gotten placed in one of the older dorms, Brownstone Hall; Bryan said the place sucked. We were having lunch just before exams week when Bryan threw me for a loop. "Just," he asked between bites of his hotdog, "would you like to room together?" I thought I was going to choke. I dropped my burger on the plate and took a huge swig of Coke. Blinking back the tears, I coughed. "You mean it?" I couldn't believe a sophomore as popular as Bryan would want a freshman roommate. Not to mention, Stafford Hall was a great place. "Yeah. My freshmen roommate sucked, and since you didn't sign up for anyone you know you're going to be in a crapshoot for whom you get." He shrugged. "We get along, and there's a chance they'll stick me with some jerk at the last minute. At least with you, I know this year I'll like my roomie." I smiled; if only he knew how incredible he made me feel. I still couldn't figure out why Bryan liked hanging out with me. He'd never shown any indication that he was gay; if anything, he seemed indifferent to the whole idea of dating and sex. "You don't mind rooming with a freshman?" Laughing he punched me in the arm. "Nah, you're a geek but you make me laugh!" * * * * * Bryan really didn't push me about explaining my family life or anything. He just took me as I was. I don't think I ever told him how important that was to me. I was so overwhelmed with being a freshman, and away from home, that it was great just to have someone who was there for me. It only got better when we moved in. The first really personal question he asked was over a picture. I don't think I was ready to discuss it, but I wasn't going to hide either. Along with the pictures of my parents and sister, I had a picture of my best friend and first love. God I missed him "Hey, Justin, who's the skater?" He nodded to the picture as I stuffed my socks and underwear into my dresser. I went over and picked up the picture. My fingers traced it. "That's Matt, Matt Thompson. He was my best friend." Matt had been the guy I'd come out for. It wasn't so much a full blown love affair as it was "friends with benefits." It didn't mean I wasn't missing him. Bryan cocked his head. "Was?" I sighed and set the picture down. "Yeah. He was a year ahead of me in school so I haven't seen him in over a year." Shrugging, I grabbed some shorts and opened a drawer. "We still email, but he went to school up north. Since I started University in the summer, I haven't seen him since Christmas Break." "That's less than a year." He smirked and tried to keep the mood light, but it didn't work. "Yeah, but he'd met someone and all he could do was think and talk about 'love'." I know I sounded bitter as I stuffed my shorts in the drawer. "I'm happy for him, but it felt like I wasn't even there." I was just standing there, feeling sorry for myself, when he draped his arm over my shoulders and mussed my hair. "Well, you've got me now. I won't be graduating and leaving you behind." I don't think he had any idea what that meant to me. Bryan always seemed to know what to do to make me feel great. "You're the greatest, Bryan." He laughed and went back to his unpacking. "Yeah, it's hard to be perfect, but someone has to do it." * * * * * Bryan really helped me come out of my shell during the semester. I would normally just eat, do classes, go to the library, and return to the dorm room. Bryan would have nothing of it. If I didn't do something social at least three or four times a week, he was on my case. It was like having my own social director. Don't get the wrong impression of Bryan. He was even more dedicated to his studies than I was. His studies, however, involved relating with people; he was a thespian, and that meant being able to shine in a crowd. Oh boy did he ever. To keep him from driving me nuts about being someplace other than the room or the library, I started doing some of my studies during his rehearsals. It was cool, actually, and a hell of a lot of fun. It was like having TV playing in the background, but the TV had no commercials. One thing I did notice was that nearly everyone flirted with Bryan. I do mean everyone. The guys, the girls, the teachers; they all found him irresistible. The weird thing was, Bryan noticed and played back a little, but he simply wasn't interested. How a guy who was a walking wet dream could avoid all the opportunities being thrown at him was mind boggling. I knew if I'd had people hot after me like that, I'd have been set. Sometimes, when someone would make a pass at him, he'd look at me with a "can you believe this shit" roll of his eyes and a whimsical smile. Bryan knew he was good looking; he just didn't seem to care. He treated his looks like a set of clothes or the size of his shoes; they were what they were, and he would use them if needed and keep them in good condition when he wasn't using them. At the moment, he wasn't using them. That made him all the sexier, because good looking guys who don't flaunt it are really hot. I wasn't the only one who thought that way. We were kicking back, looking at the autumn leaves after a game of Frisbee, when I just had to know. "You don't date." He laughed. "No time." Was that an evasion, or was it that he really just didn't care? I was trying to figure him out when he grabbed me around the neck and made me laugh by nuggying me. I made half-hearted attempts to get away, but I really did like having him rough house with me. "How can I have time for dating with you around? You're such an attention hound!" I pulled out of his hold and stuck my tongue out at him. Yeah I know; really mature. I was blushing, and studied my toes for a second before smiling. "Ok." We were best friends, but everything Bryan did had me believing that maybe we were something more * * * * * I really enjoyed school. I love study and research. I also had an easy time explaining things in ways others understood. I planned to go for my Masters and possibly a Doctorate, and then try my hand at teaching writing. I had only one problem; exams. I always froze during exams. Maybe it was a phobia, or a neurotic fear of failure, but the moment a test was under my nose I would forget everything. I'd survived mid-terms with only a minor panic attack; finals were an entirely different thing. If it hadn't been for Bryan, I wouldn't have survived it. I'd been frantically searching my notes for my Philosophy exam forever. After another complete disassembly of my notebook, Bryan finally tossed down his text and snapped at me. "Justin, chill out! You're driving me nuts." I knew I was losing it, but like a lemming running for the cliff I couldn't seem to stop. "I'm sorry, Bryan. I'm so fucked up." He came over and massaged my neck. God his fingers felt good. All I wanted to do was lean into him and have him take me away from it all for a while. "All you need is a good night's rest, bud. You've been drinking Coke like water and falling asleep at the desk for days. You're going to be fried by finals." I bowed my head and nodded. "Yeah. I've always been like this. I used to drive my parents nuts." "So, how'd they deal with it?" He dug into one of the knots in my shoulder and I moaned. I hadn't wanted to tell him, but it just slipped out. "It was really stupid." "What?" I swallowed. "How Mom dealt with me." I shrugged off his hands and stood up. "Thanks, Bryan." I was so embarrassed. "You didn't tell me what she did." He smirked. "How can I help my bro out if I don't know what to do?" "Drop it; it doesn't matter." He already knew I was gay. I didn't need to let him know I was a wimpy little mama's boy too. He reached out and mussed my hair. "Come on, Just. What?" I couldn't meet his eyes. "Mom used to hold me and sing me to sleep when it got bad." I waited for him to laugh at me; I know I'd have laughed at me. What college aged guy needs to be sung to sleep when he's stressed? Instead, his reaction was anticlimactic. "Oh." I blinked at him. "Oh? I'm a fucking wimp and all you can say is 'oh'?" I was trembling. "It's weird, but I accepted you're weird when we became friends." I wanted him to hold me. I wanted him to tell me I wasn't a loser. He didn't do either. "I'm just trying to figure out how to get your Mom up here to help." Oops, he hit the shiny red button; I blew. "Oh, fuck you! I don't need my Mommy to kiss away my booboos!" I grabbed for my stuff and tried to get to the door. "Hey!" He grabbed my arm. "I didn't mean it that way." I panicked. It was irrational and completely nuts, but I fought him. Of all the people I didn't want to freak out on, Bryan was the one I never wanted to do it with; so much for what I wanted. My books went everywhere as the struggle overturned my book bag. Landing on my bed, he held me to him and didn't let go till I stopped fighting. I started crying into his shirt. I was so ashamed. "I'm sorry, Bryan." I couldn't stop shaking. I'd never let anyone know what I'd just told Bryan; even my Dad didn't know. It was my secret, my shame, and now it was out. I couldn't look at him; I knew he must have thought I was such a loser. He didn't say anything about it. He just looked at the clock and was so kind and patient. "Let's get some rest, Just. I don't think either of us could study any more tonight." He let me go and stood up. I nodded absently and got off the bed. We stripped down to our boxers and took turns brushing and using the toilet. When I got back into the room, Bryan pulled back the sheets and climbed into my bed. I just blinked at him; my brain was burned out. "Bryan, what are you doing?" "You're Mom's not here; I thought I'd help my little bro' out." I looked down at my feet. For a moment his eyes seemed to beg me not to argue. I just couldn't understand why he'd go to all the trouble. "You don't have to..." "Oh shut up and get in." He snapped at me, but when I looked up he had a grin on his face. "I'm not going to threaten your virtue!" I laughed. "Not that I could stop you if you tried." "Yeah, I could have had you any time I wanted; I'm such a stud. Now get in here before I change my mind." He didn't know how true that was. All he'd have to do was ask; I'd have done anything he wanted. I got in, and he reached across me to turn off the desk lamp. I waited, holding my breath, and tried not to get excited. I had one of the hottest guys in the theater program, nearly naked, in my bed. Finally he just wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to him. We were spooning. Matt and I had done that a few times, and it was my favorite position. I couldn't ignore the bulge pressed against my ass; he wasn't hard, but he wasn't completely flaccid either. I started to wonder if he wanted me to do anything. Before I could decide, he started to hum. It was a soft, relaxing tune, and I realized in addition to everything else, Bryan had a great singing voice. I melted, and just sank against him. He had me; we both knew it. I murmured, "I love you," under my breath, and my body trembled for a moment before I fell asleep. That was the first thing I thought when I woke up. I'd told him the truth, but I hadn't been awake to know how he'd reacted to it. The long, hard part of him that was pressing against my butt led me to believe he didn't object to being there. I certainly wasn't objecting. I'd had enough toss-off fantasies of Bryan while I was in the shower that I knew exactly what I wanted to do. The problem was that his hold was a bit too secure for me to move much. I had to content myself with rubbing my ass against his shaft. I moaned a little when he pulled me in a bit tighter and started to nuzzle my neck. He wasn't awake, but I didn't care. One of his hands was petting me as I ground against him. It wasn't long before he was wedged completely between my cheeks while rubbing his chin along my jaw and ear. I wished he was awake; I wanted Bryan to push me down on the bed and fuck me. I didn't last long enough; just the feel of him against me, with his morning stubble rubbing against my ear, had me trembling as I bit my lower lip to keep from crying out. My boxers were soaked. Bryan continued to caress me for a little bit, but then he just stilled and held me to him. He hadn't woken up, and I was beginning to feel guilty. I had no real idea if he was interested, and I'd just used him as a sex toy. It took a little doing, but I got out of bed and into the bathroom without waking him. I felt so dirty. I couldn't look at him when I got back in; he'd woken up while I was in the bathroom changing my soiled pants. "Morning." He got out of bed, reached out and mussed my hair like nothing had happened. "Feeling better?" "Yeah, thanks." I rummaged around, picking up my books while Bryan went to the bathroom. He came out wearing nothing. That wasn't unusual, but this time it meant something more to me. I'd had that body against me all night; I'd shot my wad with him caressing me in his sleep. My eyes followed him as he went back to his bed and flopped down. Suddenly, I was scared. "Are you ok with me?" He blinked. "Sure, we're cool." After a moment, Bryan smiled at the ceiling. "It was kind of nice. I've never sung someone to sleep before." I felt like jumping for joy; I was so happy. We were ok; no, we were more than ok. The way he smiled and the undertone in his voice were so warm. I just knew he must have felt something. Finals came and went without a hitch. Thanks to my god of a roommate, I was able to handle it without a nervous breakdown. I was in love, and I knew it. Bryan and I were having our breakfast ritual; Starbucks coffees, muffins and fruit out in the park. It was cold but we didn't care. We'd started it last summer and had no intention of stopping. We were both packed for the holidays and would be heading home to our families for Christmas. He raised his coffee to me with a smile. "To a semester survived!" I laughed and raised my cup. "To not freaking out during exams." I Hate You (Justin's Side) His smile broadened. God I was so gone on him. That still didn't prepare me for what he said next. "I think we should start dating next semester." Coffee spewed everywhere as I tried not to choke. I gasped a few times and stared at him. "What?" He shrugged. "You know, girls, dating? I think we're becoming hermits. Maybe we need some more social outlets, you know?" My world went from Technicolor to muted greys in the span of a few short words. It took everything I had not to cry; I'd been wrong, and it hurt like hell. I looked at my cup and shrugged. "Yeah, sure." He draped his arm across my shoulders and gave me a quick hug. "It'll be great, Just. You'll see." Maybe for him; I was determined not to bother. * * * * * I had no idea what to do. I didn't want to move out, but I also knew I'd fuck up if I had to spend too much time around Bryan. I added another course when I got back; it put me in academic overload, but it also kept me too busy to think about Bryan. Ok, that wasn't true. I thought about Bryan constantly. One night in his arms; a basically platonic experience, at least on his part, and I just couldn't get it out of my head. It didn't help that he just kept getting better looking. At times I almost hated him. He seemed to unconsciously do everything short of rubbing himself against me to keep me in a perpetual state of frustration. He was standing in front of his dresser, naked as usual, when I couldn't help but stop what I was doing and remember what he'd felt like. I wanted to take that long, soft, inviting meat that he kept on display and show him how much I appreciated the view. I was practically drooling over my need to taste it. He caught me staring and he grinned at me. God I hated that; it was almost a "come hither" look. I wasn't his bitch; even if I wanted to be. I frowned. "Why do you do that?" He looked bewildered. "Do what?" Maybe I should have told him, but I chickened out. "Wander around nude all the time." I rolled over and tried to ignore his naked body. I swear he sounded disappointed, or maybe a little hurt. "I didn't know it bothered you." He didn't know it bothered me? Of course it didn't bother me; it drove me nuts. I spent half my time trying not to drop to my knees and worship him. I tried to toss the comment aside. "Did I say it bothered me? I was just curious." "Never thought about it, really, you rather I keep the towel on?" I shut my book and jerked off the bed. I was getting pissed "Why the fuck should I care what you wear, Bryan?" I grabbed my textbook and board. "I'm gonna hit the library." I got out the door before he could make matters worse. Little did I know that in a few hours it would get much worse. Bryan came bursting into the room like the winner of the tri-state lottery. Behind him he was dragging a pretty girl from Campus Theater. Her name was Tina. I'd seen her a few times and she was a really good actress; she was also as good looking as Bryan. For a few moments, I was amused and caught up in Bryan's enthusiasm. "Justin, I got the part!" "Which one, you only rehearsed a half dozen?" "Romeo!" He stepped back and gestured to Tina. "This is Tina; she's Juliet." I felt my stomach tighten and I knew I must have been turning green with envy. At that moment, I hated Tina. "You'll make a great pair." "We're going to have to rehearse a lot; we've only got a month." He couldn't seem wait to get going. Neither could I; I was feeling sick. I nodded and tucked my laptop into my backpack. "I've got some research. You guys can use the room." His face fell. I knew he was excited and wanting to share; if I wasn't looking my primary rival in the face, I might have been able to share. Instead, I just rained on his parade and headed for the door. "Ok." I was almost out the door before he asked, "See you at dinner?" I paused; his eyes were pleading. I guess I was being hard on him for things that weren't his fault. He'd still been the same Bryan I'd fallen for. He continued to treat me like gold, even when I actively put up barriers and made distance. I was shutting him out, and I didn't have the guts to tell him why. "Yeah, sure, I've got to eat anyway. Thanks." He finally cornered me at dinner. "Ok, Justin, what gives? Last semester you didn't mind when I rehearsed in the room." I frowned. "Well, last semester I wasn't taking twenty one credits." He shrugged. "Granted, but that hurt when you just walked out like that. I thought you'd be happy for me." Stabbing at my mashed potatoes, I sighed. "I am, but look at it from my point of view; Romeo & Juliet is a romance." I couldn't get more obvious than that. "So?" He sounded genuinely confused; he couldn't possibly have been that clueless. I couldn't face the idea that he couldn't see how I felt; I looked at him anyway, but it hurt. "It'd feel like I'm the third guy on a date, Bryan. I know it's just a play, but you guys are going to be declaring your love, kissing and stuff." I shrugged and looked at my plate again. He didn't get it; I could see that in his eyes. I lied. "It'd be too distracting." "It's not like I'm dating Tina or anything, Just. It's just acting." I shrugged; it didn't matter, and I saw no point in bringing it up now. "I know. Let's drop it, ok?" He sighed and let it go. "Ok." * * * * * I gave them the space they needed. I know it bothered Bryan, but I just couldn't face it. I tried a couple times, but I could see the connection growing. The chemistry was almost explosive and I knew it was only a matter of time. I could see them, years from then, as one of the "hot couples" of the theater or Hollywood. Even so, I wasn't prepared for seeing it first hand. Through it all, I kept fighting with the conflicted signals I got from Bryan. He would act like we were just friends, but every so often he would do something that said it was more. Those little things: the unexpected neck massages, the smiles and warm looks when he didn't think I was looking, they all kept my hope alive. I was too caught up in what I was thinking to notice the odd sounds coming from the room as I unlocked the door and walked in. I just stood there, staring, as Bryan's sweat covered body flexed against Tina. I knew we weren't in that kind of relationship, but having it presented in no uncertain terms took the wind out of me. I couldn't even say anything as Bryan scrambled out of the bed. That only made it worse. I finally got to see what I'd been dreaming about for months; he was naked, flush, glistening with sweat, panting from exertion, and hard as a rock. I lost it. Bryan grabbed my arm as I tried to run out the door. This time I wasn't going to be restrained. "Justin, wait!" He flinched as I glared at him. He let go. I hissed at him through my tears before I slammed the door on our friendship. "I hate you." I don't think I've ever regretted anything so much as that in my whole life. I didn't hate him; I never could. That was what made it hurt so much more. I don't know how long I wandered around aimlessly. I finally ended up at Jeff's room. He was my best friend after Bryan, and he knew all about how I felt. He'd warned me not to fall for a straight guy. He'd been there himself and had honestly tried to divert disaster. I hadn't listened. He held me as I cried myself out, and then suggested it might be best if I just spent the last few weeks before exams with him. His roommate had graduated in December, and he had the room to himself. When I got back to the room, Bryan was sitting on his bed looking miserable; he hadn't even put on any clothes. I didn't say anything; I couldn't. I just pulled out a bag from under my bed and started putting some clothes in it. He stared at me. "What are you doing?" I shrugged; I couldn't look at him. "Jeff said I could room with him till the end of the semester." "Why?" He choked it out, and the pain in his voice forced me to look. He was crying, and it was contagious. "I thought we were friends." All I felt was defeated. Even with all the pain he still didn't get it. "I guess that's all we were, Bryan. It's not your fault I thought it was more." I turned back to my bed and finished stuffing what I needed into the bag. "Do you really hate me?" It felt as if he'd slapped me. I couldn't even say it; it hurt too much to know that with everything that'd happened he just never saw me the way I was. I couldn't break my eyes from his as he stood up and crossed the gap between our beds. Just being that close to him had me trembling. His hands bracketed my face and he studied me for a few moments. It was as if he were looking at me for the first time. He bent down and kissed me. I whimpered as he pulled back. My reality had just been turned upside down and I wasn't ready. "Bryan..." He put his finger to my lips. His eyes begged me not to end the moment. I didn't. When he kissed me again, I gave way. I could feel him hardening between us and the way he kissed me was too real to deny. I didn't care if it was only for one night; I needed it. Then it happened. It was like a circuit had been thrown and suddenly we understood each other. We didn't even do much more than some oral work and exploring each other with our hands before we blew. It was the most intense orgasm I'd ever had. I almost blacked out as I struggled to keep from screaming. Bryan followed me moments later, and I knew he wasn't acting. No one was that good an actor. I fell asleep, spooned against Bryan with his dripping need between my cheeks. My body trembled again, just before I fell asleep. I was where I was supposed to be, and my body knew it. I woke like I had back in December, but this time Bryan's hard-on was wedged against my ass without my having to do anything. In fact, Bryan was slowly working his shaft back and forth with slow, small motions as he kissed my neck. I sighed as I pressed back against him. He was awake. His movements stopped, but he held me tighter to him. "I'm sorry, Just. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long." "It's ok." I was smiling, but there was still a small pit in my stomach. "I love you, Bryan." I kept my eyes closed and prayed he wouldn't freak. He didn't. His fingers brushed my chin and tilted me up so he could kiss me. "I know..." When I opened my eyes, he grinned at me. "I hate you too." For a moment, the words jarred me, but then I realized what he meant. The words didn't matter; what mattered was what emotion they carried. I'd screamed them at him, but we both knew what I'd really meant. Through all the pain and frustration, I was still telling him I loved him. He finally understood. I smiled, and I knew we had a game we'd be playing for a long time. "You know what I'd hate?" He nuzzled me again and I felt him flex against my ass. "No, but I'm hating this." I sighed. "I'd hate it more if you were to finish what you've been doing all morning. I'd hate that a lot." Bryan slowly pressed me down onto the mattress, his cock never leaving my cleft as his full weight settled onto my back. "You'd hate that huh?" I bit my lip as he rocked against me. He was dripping so much that I knew we didn't need any lube. "Yeah," I gasped, "I'd really hate that." Matt had proven I was a consummate bottom. It wasn't that I wouldn't top, but I just really got off having a man in me. Matt had been a bit longer than Bryan, but Bryan was thicker and had a nice size head. He rubbed himself against my hole, pressing in a little and pulling back. I was panting by the time he felt I was moist enough to venture in. I gasped as my ring gripped around his shaft after he pressed in. Oh God he felt good. Bryan moaned. We didn't say anything else as he slowly claimed me. Honestly, I think we claimed each other. I had no idea how long he stayed above me, supported on his arms while he slowly slid in and out of me. All I knew was each stroke sent me further and further from the loneliness and frustration I'd been living with since December. When I came, I whimpered out his name before shuddering into the sheets. I must have really clamped down on Bryan because he didn't get more than three strokes further before he bent forward, shaking, and bit into my neck to muffle his cry. Bryan sank down against me as his trembling subsided. I was deliriously sated. Then he did the only thing that could make the moment even better. He chewed softly on my ear and whispered, "God, I love you, Just." We missed our morning classes. I didn't care. Bryan made love to me three times that morning. The wall was gone, and the warm looks and smiles he gave me meant so much more. That night, while lying in his arms, I asked him about Tina. He said he'd deal with it. He did. I came face to face with Tina the next day between classes, and I didn't know what to do. She just leaned in, kissed me on the cheek, and said, "You two make such a great couple." We had dinner, and she explained how it had happened, and how guilty she felt. She was between boyfriends, but she honestly hadn't been after Bryan. Now that they both knew the state of things, she knew it would never happen again. Honestly, I believed her. Over the week we discussed us, our dreams, and the fact that neither of us wanted to give up our relationship. I still couldn't believe Bryan loved me, but he said that looking back, he'd fallen in love when I'd plowed him down on my skateboard. He only asked me to do one thing; he hated my glasses. Lucky for him; I had contacts, I just never wore them. I called home and had Mom ship them to me. I planned to surprise Bryan for the opening night. As we got closer to the first performance, I got nervous. The one thing we hadn't discussed was whether or not we were going to be "out". Bryan just smiled and hugged me when I asked. I wanted a definitive answer, but all he would say was, "Just let what happens, happen." * * * * * I had to blink though the tears as I watched Bryan and Tina take their bows. Part of the reason was I wasn't used to the contacts; the other was that the performance really was that good. They had such a connection on stage that to anyone watching it the romance went further than the roles. Of course, only a week ago I believed that too. Seeing his eyes immediately search for me the moment the curtain was down and Tina had danced off to the dressing room made it clear that was not the case. Tina and Bryan did have a connection, a strong one, but Romeo was looking for someone other than Juliet. I had to stay tense to keep from throwing myself at him as he saw me and made his way off stage. Bryan was just that hot; most of the girls and nearly all the gay guys were lusting for him. Honestly, it was intimidating to be there. We'd only been officially together for a week, and I still wasn't certain it was real. "What'd you think?" The way his eyes laughed and his lips curled with mirth, I knew he was faking. He liked playing with me this way. I didn't mind; it was a reminder of how close we'd come to ending and what it'd taken to get where we were. Of course, I'd always over-analyzed everything. Bryan was all about the experience; I was all reasons why. My lips curled into a grin as I looked into his eyes. He liked what he saw; I'd put away my "practical" eyewear for the sting and inconvenience of my contacts. He was worth it. He could just melt me; the way his eyes burned as he looked into mine made my heart beat faster. "I hated you in that scene." I stiffened for a second as his arm snaked around me. Then I just let go and let him pull me in. Every time he held me I'd tremble; it was like my body was recalibrating itself or something. What ever it was, he's the only one who ever did that to me. If you've never had a beautiful, strong man pull you up against him and nuzzle your neck in front of God and creation, then you haven't lived. He kissed his way back to my lips lightly before pulling back and smiled. "Yeah, I know, I hate you too." I didn't need the words; not any more. Everything he did, or said, told me what I needed to hear. "I love you". It was easy to understand once you knew the language.