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Here to Stay Ch. 01

By: tml_writer



"Hey, Matt? I can't tell which one of these shirts is the black one," Emmett Clark shouted frustratedly across the apartment while trying to feel the difference in the fabrics over and over again. He heard Matt's footsteps start down the hall. 

"Whoa, man, put some jeans on. You know you're not my type," Matt joked, walking through the doorway seeing Emmett stand in his underwear near his closet. 

"Yes, and wouldn't Suzanne be glad to hear it," Emmett poked back. 

Matt and Emmett had shared an apartment ever since they were dorm mates their first three years of college. They had become close friends, and Emmett was grateful for it. Matt assisted him whenever he could, whether it was walking somewhere new, crossing a street, or picking out clothes. In short, Matt was Emmett's vision. 

"Here you go, Matt said, taking the shirt out of the closet and handing it to Emmett. 

"Thanks," Emmett responded as Matt left the room. 

Emmett wondered yet again where he would live, and with whom, once Matt and Suzanne were married. He had been looking for months, but none of the places or people seemed right. In two weeks, though, it was happening whether he was ready or not. 

For the second time that day, Emmett cursed his blindness. He wanted so badly to just be able to live by himself after Matt moved out. He knew, though, that it really wasn't realistic, and since he had no family to speak of, he didn't have a place to fall back on. He was relying on his friends at this point, as he had been incapable of finding somewhere outside of an assisted living facility, which was a nice environment. The problem was that Emmett thought his age of 29 was fifty years too young to be living there. 

After dressing, Emmett walked into the kitchen. 

"You ready?" he heard Matt ask. 

"Yup," Emmett responded, putting his bag over his shoulder and grabbing his cane, placing it in the bag. Matt drove him to the university and helped him to the main doors of the musical arts building. 

"Thanks," Emmett said, walking through the doors. He got his cane out and started down the hall, counting his footsteps. A familiar voice interrupted the silence that echoed through the halls. 

"Dr. Clark, may I help you to your studio?"

"Thank you, Clara, that would be greatly appreciated," Emmett agreed, folding his cane and putting it back in his bag. 

Once in the office, Emmett sat his bag down and leaned against his desk as he heard Clara, one of his students, sit at one of the pianos. 

"Thank you again, Clara. Now, shall we get started?"

--

"Listen, would you just meet him? In person? Emmett's a great guy, and even though he can afford the rent on his own, it's just . . . easier for him to have someone around." Cassidy Andrews looked into the skeptically smiling eyes in front of her, pausing only for a moment. "Besides, you need some company. You live alone on the other side of town, all you do is work, and you could use someone to bond with. The apartment is really big, and Emmett has been my best friend for almost a decade, although that fact alone might scare you away. Seriously, though, it would be great."

"Cassidy, I don't know?" an inquisitive Gavin Adams started.

"Just take the time to meet him, in person. You've got two weeks to make up your mind before his current roommate gets married and leaves." 

"Two weeks?!"

"Just meet him," Cassidy demanded. 

"Alright, alright, I'll meet him. When?" Gavin asked. 

"Are you free tonight?"

--

"I'll see you Monday, Will," Emmett said, closing the door behind his last student of the day. All seven of them had asked the same question that day: when would Emmett perform a solo faculty recital? 

"It has been a while," he said to no one in particular. His thoughts were interrupted by his ringing cell phone.

"This is Emmett," he answered, flipping the phone open.

"Hey, Em!" Cassidy greeted excitedly through the speaker.

"Hey Cass. How are you today?"

"Great." She paused. "I'll get right to the point. Do you have any plans tonight?"

"Nope. Why?"

"What? How a guy like you has any night of the week open is beyond me. Well, anyways, great. There's someone I want you to meet," Cassidy informed Emmett.

"Cass, you know me. I don't?"

"Relax," she interrupted. "I'm not trying to set you up. He might be willing to share your acre of apartment with you," she teased. 

"Okay, what time?"

"Meet me at the main doors of the music building in two minutes."

Emmett chuckled at his friend's eccentricity as he hung up the phone, picked up his bag, and locked his door. 

Cassidy greeted him the moment he opened the door to exit the building. 

"Where are we going? And does this stranger that I'm meeting have a name?" Emmett asked as he took her arm. 

"Do you remember that chef I've told you about? Gavin Adams? He's a really good friend of mine. It's actually hard to believe that you haven't met yet," she commented as they got in the car. "We're going to Kelly's coffee shop. She won't be home for a few more days, though, so it will just be him and us."

"Mmhmm. Gavin. Got it. So, how do I know that Gavin isn't an ax murderer or some creeper?"

"Well, he might be, because I've told him almost everything there is to know about you and he's still willing to meet you," Cassidy jested. Emmett laughed.

"Wow. That's promising." A comfortable silence passed for a few minutes. 

"He doesn't know you're blind yet," Cassidy blurted out quietly and spontaneously. Emmett turned to face her as much as his seatbelt would allow, aghast. 

"I can't go, then, Cassidy! You failed to mention the most important thing about me!"

"It's not like he's not open-minded."

"Cassidy Andrews, living with a non-handicapped gay man is probably bad enough for someone like him. Living with a blind one is completely different and even worse," Emmett practically shouted. 

"Hey, Em?" Cassidy asked quietly.

"What?" Emmett asked, trying to be angry. 

"I've never, in the ten years that I've known you, heard you raise your voice like that."

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Don't apologize," Cassidy said. "It's great."

They pulled up to the café, parked, and walked in the door, smiles on their faces. 

--

Gavin was reading the restaurant reviews in the newspaper when Cassidy walked in with Emmett holding her shoulder with one hand and arm with the other. Gavin knew it was rude, but he stared at the sight. He didn't know how to respond. He'd had absolutely no idea that Emmett was blind, but the part that struck him the most was that Emmett was the most gorgeous man he had ever seen. He stood maybe an inch shy of six feet tall, had rather pale skin, dark brown hair cut somewhat short and pushed back stylishly with some falling over his face, and a body with a muscular swimmer's build to die for. Emmett's most stunning feature, however, were his eyes. They were so dark brown they were almost black, and were deeply expressive. Gavin gaped open-mouthed as they approached the table. 

"Hey, Gavin, this is the famous Emmett Clark," Cassidy informed him. 

"She flatters me; don't listen to her," Emmett responded to Cassidy's remark. Gavin blinked a few times and tried to speak, but stuttered instead. 

"Uh . . . um . . . hello," he finally managed, grabbing the hand outstretched in front of him and shaking it. Emmett noticed a firm handshake, even if Gavin wasn't the most eloquent person at the moment. 

"Em, what do you want to drink?" Cassidy asked as Emmett took his seat. 

"The usual, please."

"Gav, come with me to the bar," Cassidy ordered, grabbing his arm as she walked by his chair. 

Once they were at the counter and had ordered their drinks, Gavin found his voice before Cassidy. 

"You failed to mention two very important things, Cassidy Andrews."

"Two?"

"Yes, two. Number one: he's blind. More importantly, number two: he's extremely good-looking. I haven't seen someone I've been this attracted to in a long time."

"You checked the mirror lately, sugah?" Cassidy asked jokingly in a mock Southern accent. 

"Enough with the sarcastic shit, Cass. Seriously, I don't know if I could live with him. I don't know what to do, or how I would help him, and being around a man that attractive would be a little difficult. I mean, those eyes . . ." Gavin trailed off.

"Yeah, they are blacker than black and show every emotion he feels. If you ever want to know what he's thinking when he's not speaking, that's the place to look."

"But¬?"

"Yeah, I know. They don't look like a typical blind person's eyes. Medically speaking, his eyes can see. See, Gavin, Emmett wasn't born blind. When he was 14, he and his parents were in a car accident. Both of his parents died on impact, because they weren't wearing seatbelts. Anyways, both of them died and Emmett was left blind. According to every doctor he's seen, there's nothing wrong with him. His brain just doesn't interpret what he sees, and no one knows why. He's a medical mystery."

"Wow. Both parents and his sight. That would send me over the edge," Gavin breathed. 

"He's a strong one," Cassidy said, picking up two coffees and walking back to the table. Gavin grabbed his cup and followed. As he sat down, Emmett faced him.

"So, I presume she told you the whole story about how I lost my vision and how no one can figure out why," he stated matter-of-factly, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Yes, I told him. But he's still here, obviously," Cassidy butted in. 

"So, um, I've heard that you're a phenomenal pianist," Gavin said, attempting to make conversation. 

"Again, Cassidy flatters me," Emmett argued. "I'm okay. I really enjoy teaching some very, very talented students, though."

"Well, that's a plus in being an esteemed professor at one of the best conservatories in the nation," Cassidy retorted. 

"You know what, Cass? I don't really appreciate your sarcasm," Emmett joked. "What do you do, Gavin?" There was a pause, and Emmett could feel and hear Gavin and Cassidy looking at each other and arguing silently. 

"I . . . uh . . . I'm a chef at a couple of restaurants," Gavin finally responded. Emmett could tell there was something he was missing. 

"Chef, yeah, that's what it's called now," Cassidy said.

"If you really don't want to tell me, it's not a problem, at all. I didn't mean to be nosy," Emmett said, trying to ease the awkwardness of the situation. 

"It's no problem, not at all," Gavin said. "So, how much is the rent?" Emmett was grateful for the change in topic. 

"Total, it's about 3000 dollars per month," Emmett informed him somewhat sheepishly. He could tell by Gavin's coughing that he had choked on his coffee from the surprise. 

"Oh, my god," he sputtered. 

"I can pay it," Emmett tried to respond. "Really, I just need someone to live with so I don't have to live in a retirement community because of the assisted living thing. I'm sure you figured that out as soon as I walked in and you saw that I'm blind." Gavin stared, at a loss for words. He had no idea what to say to the bluntness of Emmett's statement. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Cassidy apologized to Gavin.

"It's okay. I guess I'm just a little taken aback at the suddenness of this whole thing. I really need to think it over and try to get to know you a little more, Emmett. And no, by the way, I won't let you pay the whole rent. I have more than enough resources to cover my half if I take you up on this." He paused to look at the time. "I'm really sorry, but I have to get going. I have to be at work by 9, so I'll have to hustle. Cass, I'll call you, but I'm pretty sure I'm free for tomorrow night. Emmett, I'll talk to you later. Sorry I have to run." With that, he walked briskly out the door and down the sidewalk. 

"Cassidy, shame on you. I feel bad, and he probably does now, too. He couldn't just come out and say, 'You know, I'm really not into the whole taking-care-of-the-blind thing since I'm not even 30, I'm single, and a successful chef.' or whatever it is that he does. Thank you so much for the awkward moments and discomfort. God, could you really be this incapable of some forethought?" Emmett stood up, and Cassidy did the same, returning their cups to the bar. 

"I'm sorry, Em," she said as they walked out the door. "If I may, though?"

"You may not," Emmett interrupted. Cassidy snarled back once she walked around the car and sat in her seat. 

"You know what? I'm going to anyways. To be quite frank, I haven't seen you this uncomfortable about your blindness before. Ever. Not even after a bad performance, or tripping on an uneven floor, or even running into someone or something unintentionally."

"He's a really nice guy, isn't he?" Emmett asked rhetorically. "Never mind, I'm sure he is. It wasn't fair to him?not in the least, Cass?to put him in this situation. Does he even know I'm gay?" Emmett paused and awaited an answer. When one wasn't presented, he continued. "He doesn't. Great. Yet another thing to scare him off. I might as well cross this one off the list of prospective roommates, too."

"He won't care," Cassidy informed him. "He's a very open-minded person, like I said before," she said with a hint of annoyance. Emmett exploded.

"Open-mindedness has barely anything to do with living with a blind person, Cassidy. Patience? Yes. Determination? Yes. The ability to cope with frustration? Yes. Open-mindedness? Only initially."

"We're here," Cassidy intervened once they had arrived at the apartment.

"I'll walk myself in," Emmett said. 

"No, I'll?"

"Cassidy, I can do it. I'm a big boy now," he said sarcastically.

"You are so bitter tonight."

"I just had the shit embarrassed out of me by one of my best friends who thought that she could arrange a living partner for me without telling them straightaway that I'm fucking blind. That's just not something you leave out, Cassidy. You fucked up. Just admit it and move on. It's not the first time, and it certainly won't be the last. I wish you'd stop blaming my insecurities for that, though." Emmett shut the car door and walked up to the building. 

"Dr. Clark, may I help you to your apartment?" Cecelia, the doorwoman asked. 

"Cecelia, first of all, my name is Emmett. I don't know how many times I've told you to call me by my name, even when we're outside a personal setting. Secondly, no, I'll walk myself up tonight. I'll be fine, but thank you anyways," he responded, probably a little too curtly. He had no trouble counting his steps to the stairs, ascending three floors, then walking to his door. Once there, he took out his key and opened the door. 

"Matt?"

"Yeah, I'm here." 

"Wow. It's awfully early for you to be home."

"I, uh, I'm feeling a little under the weather," Matt answered. In the eleven years that Emmett had known Matt, Matt had never gotten sick, aside from the slough of hangovers during his undergraduate years. 

"What's wrong? Are you sick? Can I get something for you?"

"Yes, I'm sick. No, you can't get anything for me. I'm comfortable here on the couch watching movies and attempting to eat ice chips without throwing them up."

"Okay. If you need anything, just let me know. I'll do what I can." Emmett walked down the hall and into his room as the phone rang. 

"Get that," Matt asked more than demanded. 

"Emmett speaking," he answered. 

"Hey, Em, I'm sorry and you were right," Cassidy said. 

"It's okay. I overreacted, too," Emmett assured her.

"No, you were completely justified in everything you said."

"Hey, Cassidy? Matt's sick. Would it be possible for you to give me a ride to work tomorrow?"

"You know I would if I could, Em, but I can't. I'm going into the design studio at five in the morning tomorrow."

"Crap. Kelly and Joe are still on vacation, aren't they?" Emmett asked. 

"I swear, it's like their second honeymoon," Cassidy answered. "No one can reach them or anything."

"It sounds like I'm taking a cab tomorrow, then."

"Well, you could give Gavin a call?"

"I'm not calling someone that I met personally for the first time today to have them take me to work at six in the morning. No freaking way. I'd rather walk the entire way."

"Wow. Okay, whatever suits you," Cassidy relented. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Have a good night."

"You, too." 

Emmett hung up the phone and sat on the bed with a large sigh. He took off his shoes, and then lay back on the bed, wishing he could stare at the ceiling. After ten minutes, he sat up, undressed, and went to sleep. 

--

"Gavin, where's your head?" one of his coworkers shouted at him from across the kitchen. "Take this to 32!" 

"Sorry, I guess I'm just not feeling like myself tonight," Gavin said distantly. He picked up the desserts and took them out. 

"I hope everything was great tonight, folks," he said as he set the plates on the table in front of the man and woman. The woman spoke up.

"Everything is gre?" She paused as she looked up. "Gavin Adams?" He immediately looked at her questioningly. 

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" he asked, studying her face.

"Laura Dotton . . . we graduated together."

"Oh, wow. Hi! You look great. What brings you here?"

"Well, I live here now. What about you? This restaurant is great. Are you the manager?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah, kind of. This is one of my restaurants, actually."

"Oh, my god! That's amazing." She paused. "Well, I have to get back to my date," she said, looking at the man sitting across from her at the table. "This is Mark, by the way, my fiancé."

"Nice to meet you," Gavin said, nodding in a jealous Mark's direction. "Don't worry, I'm not going to steal her from you any longer. Have a great night, you two."

Gavin walked away, thankful for the interruption in thought. Ever since earlier that night in the coffee shop, he hadn't been able to get Emmett and the situation at hand out of his mind. Could he handle living with a blind person, and a stunningly attractive one at that? He figured there was only one way to find out. At the same time, though, it wasn't fair to Emmett to just give it a month's trial, and then say, 'You know, I really don't like living with you, so try to find someone else to share the apartment.' Gavin realized he couldn't do that. 

He glanced up and checked the clock. Midnight. Not bad for a Thursday night. As he walked out the door, his phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hey, Gavin, it's Cassidy. Will you do me a huge favor?"

"Sure. Consider it done. What is it?"

--

Emmett woke up, got a shower, and ate breakfast. He picked up his bag and extended his cane.

"See ya," he heard from the couch.

"Bye. Rest up. You're going to need to be well for your wedding," Emmett replied. "Is there anything you need?"

"Nope. Have a good day. I'll be out with Suzanne and the wedding planner all night. Well, the wedding planner will leave eventually," Matt chuckled.

"Okay, just don't give Suzanne this rot. It's not exactly every girl's dream to throw up on her veil while walking down the aisle."

Emmett walked out the door and down the three flights of stairs. As he entered the lobby, he heard his name. 

"Hey, Emmett." Emmett immediately recognized the voice as Gavin's. 

"I'm going to kill Cassidy," Emmett snarled. Gavin chuckled at his remark.

"Don't worry; it's really not an imposition. I have to be at one of the restaurants by 6:30 anyways."

"Well, thank you, I really appreciate it," Emmett said, folding up his cane. Gavin walked over, but stood awkwardly in front of Emmett.

"You'll have to forgive me, but I have no idea what to do," Gavin said sheepishly. Emmett placed his right hand on Gavin's left shoulder, and his left hand on Gavin's arm. He couldn't help but notice how muscular Gavin was, but pushed the thought from his head. At that moment, Emmett was glad that he couldn't be visually attracted to him. 


Here to Stay Ch. 01



"Lead the way, but not too fast. Also, try not to let me run into anything," Emmett teased. 

"I'll do my best," Gavin replied. He tried to ignore the electricity that ran up his arm and shoulder from Emmett's firm but gentle grasp. 

"Good morning, Dr. Clark," Pete said, opening the door to the building. 

"Good morning, Pete. Have a nice day," Emmett replied jovially. 

"Oh, I will, Dr. Clark. I will. You do the same, but I can tell you will, too," Pete replied, no small amount of reference to Gavin in his voice. Emmett couldn't help but to chuckle at the cheerful, African-American doorman. If he could have seen, he would have watched Gavin's face blush to a bright red shade. Pete didn't miss it, though, and winked at Gavin when Gavin glanced back, causing Gavin to blush even more. 

Emmett got into Gavin's car, and Gavin did the same. Emmett heard Gavin fasten his seatbelt, and let out a relieved sigh. 

"So, you mentioned that you had to be at one of the restaurants this morning. You work at more than one?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, I work at three restaurants," Gavin answered. "I have a pretty flexible schedule, though, and spend a lot of time at home?"

"Because you own them?" Emmett asked, interrupting. Gavin stuttered for a few seconds and Emmett went on. "Just because I'm blind doesn't mean that I'm a complete imbecile. You'll come to find that I'm actually more perceptive than most people who can actually see."

"I didn't think that you were an idiot," Gavin informed Emmett. 

"Well, thank you. Many people think that automatically because I'm blind that I'm slow."

"I can definitely tell that you're not, now." Gavin paused. "You're actually the first one to figure it out. Even Cassidy doesn't know that I own them."

"Why haven't you told her?"

"I don't know. I guess I don't want people automatically assuming things about me when they discover I own three restaurants."

"Yeah, I'm definitely not paying the full rent if you live with me, now that I know the cash you rake in," Emmett said sarcastically. Gavin laughed. Emmett was immediately entranced by the sound. Shaking his head, he pushed the thought from his mind.  

"It's the last day for my students, and then summer. I only have to teach a few days every week," Emmett said, excited. 

"That's great." Gavin thought for a moment, then took a deep breath, not going unnoticed by Emmett. "Emmett, what are you doing tonight?"

"Absolutely nothing. You'll find, as you get to know me, that most of my evenings are completely free, aside from the nights I stay in my studio and practice."

"Well, I'd love it if you came with Cassidy and me tonight."

"I would like that, too."

"What time can I pick you up here?" Gavin asked. 

"Oh, no, I don't want you to?"

"Well, if I'm going to live with you, I'll have to get used to this, so I might as well start."

"That's a very smart thing to do. A trial period," Emmett replied. 

They walked to the door in a comfortable silence. 

"What time?" Gavin asked again.

"Around six should be good. I'll be hungry, though. You can't say that I didn't warn you," Emmett said, smiling a very big smile. It took Gavin aback, and he stared for a few moments before opening the door. 

"Six it is," Gavin said. "I'll see you later." Gavin walked away as Emmett started down the hall.



Here to Stay Ch. 02



Cassidy stared as Gavin led Emmett into the club. She smirked to herself, proud of the match. She knew they would get along. There was only one problem: Gavin was a little too crazy for Emmett. It was readily apparent, written all over his face and in his eyes. At least with Emmett he didn't have to worry about being obvious in that manner. She could tell, though, that Emmett was, as with almost everyone else he met, keeping himself distant enough to only be friends, and nothing more. Cassidy watched as Emmett took his seat, inadvertently letting his hand slide down Gavin's arm. Gavin shuddered at the contact, his arm tingling from Emmett's light touch. 

"Hey, you two," Cassidy shouted over the music. "How was dinner?"

"It was great," Emmett answered, smiling. "The food was really good," he added, turning his head and smiling in Gavin's direction. Cassidy immediately saw Gavin's eyes light up. "The company wasn't too bad, either." 

"Yeah, at least for you," Gavin retorted, laughing. 

"Hey, I'm going to go get a drink. What do you want Emmett?" Cassidy asked.

"Ice water with lemon. Thanks, Cass." 

"Not a problem. Is it okay if I steal Gavin, too?"

"Shouldn't that be up to Gavin?" Gavin interrupted, referring to himself.

They walked over to the bar and waited. Cassidy looked at Gavin, who was looking across the room at Emmett, watching. Once he noticed Cassidy staring at him, he was a bit uncomfortable. 

"You're going to be great, you know. You're already waiting for his beckoning call to give you an excuse to touch him, or talk to him, or do something for him." Gavin stared at Cassidy after this remark, surprised. Cassidy laughed at his, 'Am I really that obvious?' expression. "You need to be careful, Gav. I don't know how it happened, but I can already tell you're crazy about him, after spending one night with him. He needs someone to live with, to be a friend. He doesn't need a boyfriend."

"He's gay?" Gavin asked, shocked.

"What? You didn't¬?shit."

Gavin grabbed the ice water and beer off the counter, walked over to the table, gave Emmett his drink, and sat down, leaving Cassidy to wait at the bar alone.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gavin asked, a little too sternly. Emmett's heart immediately dropped, and he shifted uneasily in his seat. "Why didn't you tell me you're gay?" Gavin repeated. Emmett immediately closed up, and Gavin noticed the change in expression in his eyes. 

"The same reason you don't tell people you own and run three restaurants. I don't want people to judge me for what they think I am; I want them to see the real me and gather their own conclusions." Emmett waited a beat. "Sorry you had to find out from Cassidy." 

"Did you think I'd care?"

"I didn't know, honestly," Emmett replied, feeling Cassidy slide into the booth next to him. No sooner had she slid in that she slid back out, pulling Emmett¬¬—or trying to, anyways—with her. 

"Come on, let's go dance, Em," she cajoled, taking his arm. 

"Cass, I'm in the mid?"

"Come on," she demanded, taking him with her. 

Gavin watched as they made their way to the dance floor. He felt guilty, in a way, for not coming straight out with the truth. Gavin figured that Emmett would realize it soon enough, though. He took a sip of his beer and glanced to the dance floor again, but his eyes stopped. He watched Cassidy and Emmett dance, and was completely enthralled. He quickly realized that both of them were extremely good dancers, graceful, and overall, quite an attractive sight. What really entranced Gavin was Emmett, though. The way he moved perfectly, the way he looked, the fact that a bystander would have no idea that he was blind. Gavin stared the entire time they were out there, and was brought back to reality by Cassidy's remark to him. 

"Hey, Gav, hasn't anyone ever told you that staring isn't polite?"

"What, is there some beautiful woman alone out there?" Emmett asked.

"Uh, not exactly, Em," Cassidy said, looking at Gavin. She mouthed, 'You didn't tell him?' to which Gavin shook his head in the negative. 

"Oh, that's right, because I was with her," Emmett continued, chuckling at his own joke, oblivious to the tense moment between Gavin and Cassidy. 

"Emmett, I really need to go. I have a pressing social engagement," Cassidy told him, getting up from the table. She kissed his cheek. "I'll talk to you later." She leaned over into Gavin's ear. "You better not fuck this up, because I will kick your ass if you end up hurting him." She smiled and walked out. 

"What time is it?" Emmett asked Gavin.

"Ten-thirty. I'm getting a headache. Do you want to come outside with me?"

"Yeah, I'm ready to split anyways. I know it's early, but I don't care."

They walked outside, happy for the comparatively quiet noise of the city rather than loud music. 

"I've decided to accept your offer," Gavin told Emmett as they walked down the sidewalk. "I called the movers and they can have me completely moved in three days, so in about a week I'll call them."

"That's great." Emmett stopped walking and turned to face Gavin. He didn't know where Gavin's eyes were, but he made his best attempt to look into them, even without seeing. "Thank you, Gavin. I know it's only been a night, and you're moving in with a stranger, but it means a lot to me that you'll take the time out of your life to help me, and learn, and just care."

Gavin stood there, tears forming behind his eyes. In barely over 24 hours, Gavin had fallen head-over-heels for Emmett. He didn't believe that anything of true substance could ever form in that amount of time, nor did he believe in love at first sight. But somehow, Gavin felt something for Emmett he had not felt before. He took a deep breath and gathered his composure. 

"You're welcome, Emmett. I need a friend, anyways. Other than Cassidy, I'm pretty much alone." 

"No girlfriend or anything?" Emmett inquired.

"Uh, about that. I didn't get the chance to tell you inside, because Cassidy stole you to go dance. I . . . uh . . . I really don't care that you're gay, Emmett, because, well, I am, too." Gavin did not miss the surprise in Emmett's eyes. 

"Oh. Uh, okay."

The two started walking again for a few minutes until Emmett stopped. 

"Do you want to see my apartment? It's still early."

"If you wanted to show me, that would be just fine."

They drove to the apartment building, and Gavin escorted Emmett inside, only to be greeted by an enthusiastic Cecelia. 

"Good evening, Dr. Clark," she said. Emmett could hear the smile in her voice. 

"Hello, Cecelia. I'll have you know, I'm about to give up in having you call me 'Emmett'." Emmett paused for a few seconds before continuing. "Oh, where are my manners. Cecelia, this is Gavin Adams. He will be sharing my apartment after Matt moves out in a few days."

"That's wonderful. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Adams. Emmett," she nodded. 

"The pleasure is mine, Cecelia," Gavin answered back. 

"Thank you, Cecelia, for finally getting my name right. I'll see you tomorrow evening."

"Good night, Emmett. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Adams."

"It's Gavin, Cecelia," Gavin replied. "It was nice to meet you, too."

Emmett and Gavin went up the three floors, and stopped outside the apartment. Emmett unlocked the door, and stepped in, finding the lights and switching them on. Gavin followed him in, closing the door gently, then looked around and stopped. 

"Wow," he said, staring at the high ceilings and chic design. 

"Yeah, I wish I could see it most of the time. Having it described to you and actually seeing it are two very different things," Emmett replied, setting his bag and cane down in their designated spot. "May I get you a drink?"

"Uh, no thanks, I don't think I'm going to stay that long," Gavin replied. 

"Well, this is the kitchen and living room."

"I see. Uh, where's the kitchen table?" Gavin asked.

"We eat at the counter," Emmett answered.

"Oh." Gavin looked to his right to the living room, which wasn't quite as large as the kitchen. It was simply but elegantly furnished. Emmett then led him over to the hallway. He pushed open the first door on the left, and Gavin peered in, surprised. 

"Yes, surprisingly enough, we have our own laundry room. It's wonderful," Emmett stated, closing the door. He walked to the second doorway and flipped on the light just inside. 

"This is my bedroom," Emmett said, stepping around the queen-sized bed and to the bathroom, "and this is my bathroom." Gavin stared at the sight. It was immaculate. Everything had its own place. The bathroom was very large, and featured a double sink, a shower, and a large, jetted bathtub. Gavin's thoughts immediately wandered to what could be done in both the large shower and large bathtub other than bathing. He pulled himself together as Emmett led him out of the room and across the hallway. 

"This will be your room. Matt tends to be a little messy in here, so I won't go in, but you can take a look." Gavin stepped into the cluttered room. It was very large, had a double-sized bed, and also had the bathroom connected to it. It was also a nice bathroom, but only had a shower, toilet, and single sink. Emmett then showed him to the last room, a small bedroom made into a fitness room. It had a treadmill and a small home gym. 

"This is what it looks like: my fitness room. I have to keep myself in shape somehow, and running outside is kind of out of the question," Emmett laughed. "So, that's all to my apartment. It's not huge, but it's definitely functional and I love it," Emmett said. 

"It's quite nice," Gavin agreed. "What's that room at the end of the hall?"

"Oh, I almost forgot. That's my practice room," Emmett answered, opening the door. The far wall was all windows, but in the middle sat a sizeable Steinway grand piano. 

"Wow." Gavin admired, then looked at the time. "Well, I have to get going, because the restaurants are probably swamped. Thank you for showing me around. I'm actually a little excited to be living somewhere new."

"You're quite welcome," Emmett replied, walking to the door and opening it. "Have a great night, Gavin."

"You do the same," was what came out of Gavin's mouth while he was thinking, 'Oh, I will since I've seen you.' He stepped out into the hall, went down the stairs and entered the lobby. 

"You take care of Emmett, Mr. Adams. He's a keeper, I'll have you know," Cecelia said to him as he crossed the marble-tiled floor, winking. 

"In the short period of time that I've known him, Cecelia, that has become quite obvious to me," Gavin replied, smiling. "And it's Gavin, Cecelia. Gavin."

"Alright, Mr. Adams. Have a good evening, Mr. Adams," she smiled back. She held the door as he exited and walked down the sidewalk into the night. She was surprised when she turned around and Emmett was approaching her. 

"Emmett, what are you doing?"

"Well, Cecelia, I figured that you could use some company tonight. Or maybe it's just that I could use some company tonight," Emmett answered. 

"Well, alright. Come on outside and take a seat on the bench. I can sit with you for a while, but I have to get home to Pete before one in the morning this time," she said, helping him to their favorite chatting spot. "So, where'd you find him?" she asked bluntly. Emmett laughed heartily.

"You remember Cassidy, don't you?"

"Mmhmm. It's hard to forget one like her. She's a beauty and a brain, even a little odd at times. She fits you perfectly. Well, if you were . . . nevermind."

"Yes, I know, we'd probably be married if I batted for that team, so to speak. Well, anyways, he's been a friend of hers for years now, and we've just never met. Finally we did, because he was interested in moving in when Matt moves out in a few days."

"Well, you be careful. Boys like him are dangerous," she warned.

"Out of curiosity, how'd you figure me out?" Emmett questioned.

"Honey, I've been around the block. I can tell when something's a little different. And, like you said: if you were straight, you and Cassidy would be married, and happy even. I remember there was a time when she had the look in her eyes that I see in yours right now for Mr. Adams."

"Is it that obvious? And, wait, Cassidy did?"

"Yes, she did. But I knew it would pass. She's an intelligent young woman and she will find someone. And yes, it's quite obvious to me, darling, but not to him, don't worry. When you're around him, you have yourself in a little shell." Cecelia paused for a moment, putting her hand on his knee. "You should try letting your guard down a little bit," she told him gently. "You could use someone."

"That's the last thing I should do, Cee," Emmett said. "That last thing I need is someone to get involved with, and then break my heart. He's probably not interested in me, anyways. I mean, come on, I'm blind."

"First of all, your blindness means nothing if he really felt something for you. But secondly, you should work that out with him. You'll have plenty of time to do so, seeing as he's going to live with you. He seems grounded enough that, if something falls out, so to speak, he won't run. He'll keep living there and be the friend you need."

"I know that; I was able to tell when I met him. He seems great." Emmett took a few breaths. "He's attractive, isn't he?"

"Oh, honey, he's one of the finest pieces of meat I've ever set my eyes on, if I'm not being too subtle," she responded good-naturedly. Emmett gave a small chuckle. "He's a few inches taller than you, he has blond hair cut short and tousled neatly, and he has a body to die for, which I'm sure you can tell when you feel him up every time he leads you somewhere." Emmett laughed again. His face turned to a stony expression just moments afterwards. 

"Cee, I don't know if I can do this," Emmett said softly, leaning forward to rest his arms on his legs.

"Sure you can. I know you, and you are strong enough to get through anything."

"Thanks, Cee. I don't know what I'd do without your sage advice," Emmett said.

"Now, I don't know about my advice being sage, but I'm here for you," she responded. "Let's get you back upstairs."

Emmett walked up, got in bed, and fell asleep, exhausted. 

--

Emmett wiped the tears from his eyes and applauded as he heard the minister give Matt permission to kiss his bride. Cassidy had sat beside him, holding his hand, and Gavin sat on the other, restraining himself from grabbing Emmett's other hand while kissing the tears away. Once the recessional music had ended, the three got up and headed inside. Dinner passed quickly, and Emmett was enjoying himself immensely. Finally, the music started, and Cassidy pulled him up. 

"Come on, stud, we need to go dance," she ordered. Gavin watched them as they gyrated, waltzed, and swing-danced according to the music. They were definitely the two most talented dancers up there, but once again, Gavin found himself absorbed in Emmett. Gavin had moved in with Emmett two days earlier. He was tired; he had sat on the edge of his bed, staring across the hall, watching Emmett sleep for the past two nights. He knew it seemed a little creepy and a lot cliché, but Emmett was so beautiful and at peace when he slept. It gave him a sort of consolation. 

"Hey, you look a little bored," a voice said, rousing him from his daydreaming. Gavin looked up to see Suzanne. "And lonely. I didn't miss your transfixion."

"Hey you. Why aren't you dancing with your lucky bride?" he joked, pointing to Matt. She laughed. 

"Well, first of all, he's a bad dancer, and secondly, he's on his way to the little boys' room. Want to dance?" 

Gavin got up and danced for a while, his eyes still wandering over to Cassidy and Emmett. Finally, Suzanne turned his head back to her and looked him in the eyes. 

"You are a mess," she shouted over the music. "Go dance with him!" Suzanne walked over to Cassidy and yanked her away from Emmett. Emmett was slightly panicked at the loss of contact, until he heard Cassidy's voice. 

"I'm getting a drink with the bride," she told him quickly as a slow song came on. Emmett laughed and stood there, unsure of what to do. He was clearly unable to just find his way back to his seat. Gavin saw his apprehension and walked over, taking a deep breath. 

"Hey, stranger," he said, putting a hand on Emmett's shoulder and bending his head down to talk into Emmett's ear. "May I dance with you?" Emmett heard Gavin's voice shaking as he asked this, and couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face. 

"I would like that," Emmett said back, feeling the side of Gavin's face brush against his. The feeling was thrilling. Emmett put his arms around Gavin's, pulling him closer and putting his hands on the back of Gavin's shoulders. He felt Gavin's hands stall awkwardly on the sides of his hips, then finally move around him to his lower back. Gavin looked down at Emmett's face, observing the happiness behind his eyes. 

"I'm sorry I'm so bad at this," Gavin apologized. 

"You're not bad at it," Emmett responded. "You just need to be taught how." 

"Well, you're a good teacher. I'd be flattered to have you teach me."

"I'm flattered that you'd let me," Emmett responded, his head reeling at the thought of dancing with Gavin again. He rested his head on Gavin's shoulder as they swayed slowly. 

"Look at them," Cassidy said to Suzanne and Matt. The three of them looked at Emmett and Gavin, awkwardly dancing, exchanging a few words, then settling into each other. Matt looked back at Cassidy and saw her smirking quite smugly. 

"You fiend," he grinned. "You knew."

"Listen, I didn't do anything. I just introduced two friends to one another. They did all the work," she smirked again. 

"Yeah, but you had a hunch," Suzanne accused. 

"Me? Meddle with something like this? Never." Cassidy retorted sarcastically, taking a sip of her champagne. 

"Come on, you," Suzanne said to Matt. "It's time for us to make our exit."

"We'll finally get to the best part of these shenanigans," Matt smiled mischievously. Suzanne slapped him lovingly on the arm and they walked away, hand-in-hand. Cassidy said her goodbyes, then returned her attention to Emmett and Gavin. Another waltz had come on, and she saw Emmett patiently trying to teach Gavin what he could. 

"Put your feet in front of mine, like this," Emmett told Gavin, lightly grabbing his leg and positioning it. Emmett straightened and put his hand on Gavin's shoulder. "Your posture is horrible right now. I know you sit with good posture, because every time I sit with you, your back is as straight as a board."

Gavin straightened up just as the piece ended. The two stood uncomfortably as the next song started. Cassidy approached them and led them away. 

"Come on, you two, let's head out," she told them.

"What time is it?" Emmett asked.

"Eleven, but I have to be to work tomorrow by six. So, I don't know about you two, but I'm going to split."

The three walked outside together, through the parking lot. 

"So," Cassidy continued, "did you two have a nice dance lesson?" She looked at them and saw both men blush. "I'll take that as a 'yes'."

Cassidy left as Emmett got in Gavin's car. 

"Was she okay to be driving?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, she was fine. She didn't even finish her glass of champagne, and she ate a big dinner," Gavin answered, starting the car. The twenty-minute drive home was quiet until Gavin had parked and they were walking into the building. 

"Thank you for dancing with me, if you could call it that," Gavin said quietly. "No one has ever done that with me before."

"I can tell," Emmett teased, then becoming serious. "You're quite welcome." They walked in the doors of the building to be greeted by a good-humored Cecelia and Pete. 

"Well, if it isn't Emmett and Mr. Adams. Why, you two make a snazzy sight."




Here to Stay Ch. 02



"You sure do," Emmett heard Pete chime in. "How was the wedding?"

"It was wonderful," Emmett answered. 

Cecelia looked the two over. Emmett was clearly quite happy, as told by his mannerisms. Gavin, however, possessed a longing behind his eyes. She watched as he looked down at Emmett affectionately, and realized that he was completely hooked. 

"They'll end up together, you know," Cecelia told her husband softly as Gavin and Emmett walked up the first flight of stairs. "Mark my words, they are made for each other."

"I think so, too, and even if I didn't, I wouldn't argue with you," Pete answered. "I know better than that," he smiled.

Emmett and Gavin finished the last flight of stairs and walked to the door of the apartment. Gavin opened the door for Emmett, and Emmett walked in and proceeded straight to his room. Gavin went to his room, changed into a pair of comfortable shorts and tee-shirt, and hung his suit in the closet. Just as he was doing so, he heard a small crash and what sounded like pieces rolling all over the floor, and a shouted, "Goddamn it!" He rushed out of his room and knocked on Emmett's door.

"Hey, Emmett, everything okay in there?" Silence ensued, but Emmett finally spoke quietly.

"Uh, wow, this is embarrassing, but I could use a little help. Come on in," he replied. 

Gavin opened the door and stopped at the sight. Emmett was sitting on the floor in his tux pants, wearing no shirt, cufflinks and shirt studs rolling all over the floor. The box for them was lying in the corner, where it had bounced after it had been thrown against the wall. Gavin, however, couldn't take his eyes off of Emmett. Even sitting down, Emmett's muscular stomach, torso, back, and arms were apparent. His hair was messed up, and his eyes and face glowed with exasperation. Gavin knew that he would never see anything sexier, so he took in the sight. He wanted so badly to wrap Emmett in his arms and never let go, but reality wouldn't allow for that. 

"Uh, Gavin, you okay?" Emmett asked, intruding on Gavin's reverie. He could feel Gavin was still there, but couldn't hear him. 

"Uh, yeah, sorry. Let me help you clean these up." Emmett could hear the edge in his voice. "What happened here, anyways?"

"I got them all out of the shirt, but I couldn't find their designated places in the box," Emmett said, looking down. "I guess I just got really flustered."

"That's okay. I can't even imagine how frustrated I would get if I couldn't see." Gavin paused, then realized. "Oh, god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like that," he said quickly. 

"No, it's fine. I understand what you meant. It's not like I can beat around the bush anymore, either. I can't see, and that's that. It's okay to mention it and talk about it. I'm way past that phase," Emmett said. 

Gavin collected all of the pieces that were strewn about, put them in the box, closed it, and handed it to Emmett after he had stood up.

"Here. I don't know where you want them," Gavin said softly. 

"Thanks, Gavin. I don't know what I'd do without you." Emmett wrapped his arms around Gavin in a hug. Emmett was a naturally touch-oriented person, as he was blind. However, touching Gavin felt different. Gavin, though, didn't know what to do, but finally wrapped his arms around Emmett as well. The embrace lasted no longer than ten seconds before Gavin stepped away, blinked, and tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"No problem," he croaked, walking out of the room and into the kitchen. He sat on one of the chairs at the bar, wondering what had happened. He had never been moved so much by anyone before, nor had he ever responded so much to someone's gestures, mannerisms, appearance, and touch. Before long, Emmett wandered out into the kitchen in lounge pants and a tight sleeveless shirt, yet again stealing Gavin's captivation and breath. 

"Want something to drink?" Emmett asked, completely unaware of Gavin's situation. "You sounded a little dry in there."

"Sure. Some water would be great," Gavin said, pausing and thinking. "Wait, what am I doing, sitting here letting you get it for me. You should be sitting down and I should be getting you a drink." Gavin didn't expect that statement to irritate Emmett, but it did. A lot. Emmett turned around from putting ice cubes in the glasses, fire in his eyes. 

"Listen, just because I'm blind doesn't mean that you need to wait on me hand and foot. Believe it or not, I could probably function without someone most of the time, but there are isolated instances, like the one you just witnessed, that I could use a pair of eyes around here. Don't ever make the mistake of thinking that because I'm blind, I can't take care of myself. I'm not incapable of being independent. Is that clear?"

Gavin had gotten out of his seat and walked over to Emmett by the time Emmett reached his rhetorical question. Before Emmett could do anything about it, Gavin had scooped him up in his arms. 

"I know you're quite capable of doing it yourself. The problem is, I want to do it for you," Gavin stated pristinely, setting Emmett down in one of the chairs. "Meet your match, Dr. Clark." 

Emmett didn't know what to do. He was so impacted by the gesture he couldn't speak. At the same time, however, he was so angry that Gavin had belittled him. The entire time he was filling the water glasses, Gavin watched the change of emotions flutter through Emmett's eyes. Then they shut, and Gavin's heart sank. 

"Here's your water," Gavin said, then walked over to the couch, picked up a book, and sat down to read. Emmett was livid at Gavin's brusqueness. He walked over to the couch, found Gavin, grabbed the book from his hands, and threw it across the room. He then sat down on the table in front of the couch, facing Gavin. Gavin noticed his eyes were still shut. 

"Do I have your attention now?" Emmett asked angrily. 

"Uh, yeah," Gavin whispered, surprised. Emmett opened his eyes, showing both his sadness and his fury.

"Good. Now, let's get something straight. You are not going to take my life and my independence away?" He was interrupted by Gavin's finger on his lips. 

"Emmett, I'm so sorry," Gavin apologized sincerely, holding Emmett's face between his hands. "It was supposed to be a funny, harmless gesture. I'm sorry. I'll let you do whatever it is that you do on your own." Emmett suddenly blushed and shook his head out of Gavin's grasp, trying not to notice the sparks from Gavin's touch and the knots in his stomach. He was so speechless from the gesture that he just sat there, staring into what happened to be Gavin's eyes. 

Gavin was absorbed in Emmett's gaze. 

"You have the most beautiful eyes, Emmett," Gavin whispered into the silence. Emmett immediately shut his eyes, blocking the world from seeing his emotions. Gavin let out his breath slowly in disappointment as Emmett got up. 

"I think it's time I went to bed," Emmett said, walking down the hall and shutting his door. 

Gavin turned out the lights, walked to his room, and sat on the bed. Looking up at the closed door across the hallway, he put his head in his hands and started silently crying. He knew that Emmett would keep his eyes closed around him now, and he knew it was his fault. 

"Why did I say that? Damn it," Gavin cursed, waiting for sleep to overtake him, but it never did. He wished he had the drive to walk across the hall and apologize, but he didn't. He couldn't let Emmett see him like this. Gavin lay awake, staring at the ceiling, small tears dripping down out of his eyes. He didn't know why, or how, but everything Emmett did affected him. Finally, Gavin just spread out across the bed, giving up on sleep. 

Across the hall, Emmett had been thinking about his roller coaster of emotions that evening. He knew that Gavin had feelings for him, and he also knew that he had feelings for Gavin, but Emmett wondered what would happen if it ended disastrously. He crawled into his bed and sighed, the thoughts in his head silencing themselves, unable to hear Gavin's barely audible sobs across the way.



Here to Stay Ch. 03



Cassidy studied at the two as they sat across from her at the table. Something was very different the last few times she had seen them, and not for the better. Emmett rarely opened his eyes anymore, especially around Gavin. He was also much more reserved and distant. Gavin was even worse. It was painstaking to even look at him, let alone into his eyes, which were now surrounded by dark circles. He seemed perpetually tired and sad, except when he was at work. Cassidy noticed he had gotten drunk when they went out last night, which was almost inconceivable. Gavin just didn't do that, not after what had happened years ago, anyway.

Emmett excused himself to go to the restroom, and Cassidy seized the opportunity. 

"Alright, Gav, what the hell is going on?" Gavin slowly looked up from staring at the table and into her eyes. It was worse than she had originally thought. 

"He won't open up. He's put walls up around himself and hasn't opened his eyes since I made that stupid comment last week after the wedding," Gavin mumbled. 

"You're not making sense, Gavin. Are you okay?" she asked, concerned. 

"I told him his eyes were beautiful, Cass, and so he shut them and hasn't opened them around me since then. He hardly talks to me, he doesn't ask for anything at the apartment unless I offer, and he barely touches me when we go somewhere, and only if he doesn't feel like getting out his cane. I can't take it, Cass, I can't. I need out. It's like he's disgusted by me."

"He's definitely not disgusted by you, Gavin. And, by the way, there's no way out now. You agreed to this, and when things get hard, you can't just walk out. He can't just move out or find someone else. You're it for him for a long time, sweetie."

"I don't think he wants me around for that long, Cass. He can't stand me, and I can't take it. I can't live with someone I care about and not be able to talk to them, touch them, or look at them. I just can't take it," Gavin choked, his sentence interrupted by a small sob. 

"You need to tell him that. I can't work this out for you. You two are going to have to work this out on your own." Cassidy looked back into Gavin's eyes. Her own eyes widened in realization and she put her hands up on the table. "Oh, my god. You . . . you're . . . oh, my god. Do you want to talk about it? Who?" Cassidy asked stupidly, then paused, and her face became even more shocked. "Oh, no. It's Emmett, isn't it? I should've seen this coming. I knew you got along and such but I never thought . . . even at the wedding . . . that you lo?"

"Cassidy, please shut up. I don't even know if I am. It's too fast. I mean, I don't even know his favorite color, not that I could since he doesn't talk to me?"

"Your eyes don't lie, Gav, and it's all written there. You?" Cassidy glanced up. "Oh, good, Emmett, we were just wondering if you had fallen in." Emmett chuckled and sat down. 

"Well, you two need to get home, because I know that a certain someone sitting beside you has to be at the restaurant tomorrow at five in the morning, and it's almost eleven now," Cassidy told Emmett. 

"What?" Emmett turned to Gavin. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Not that you'd have listened if I did," Gavin retorted spitefully. Emmett's ears immediately turned red, and Cassidy knew she needed to get a word in now before it was too late. 

"Listen, you two, continue this back at the apartment. You're only a five-minute walk, so go. Now. That's not an option."

Gavin reached for Emmett but Emmett turned away. 

"I'll walk with my cane," Emmett said curtly. It was a good thing that there were only two other people in the small bookstore, because Gavin broke down. 

"You know what? I don't give a damn what the fuck you do. I'm done. Walk yourself home," Gavin almost shouted. "You want your goddamned self-sufficiency, here it is. Take it and fucking relish it." With that, Gavin walked out the door without looking back. Before Cassidy knew what to do, Emmett had thrown his cane against the wall and sat down in the chair, fists clenched. 

"Emmett?"

"Goddamn it!" Emmett yelled. "I hate him, Cassidy. I cannot stand him. What could have possibly made you think we could live together?"

"Do you? Do you hate him? Or do you just hate the fact that you've finally been matched up with someone as stubborn as you?"

For the first time that night, Emmett opened his eyes and looked up at Cassidy. There were so many emotions swirling in them that she couldn't pick any out. 

"You know," she continued, "if you keep shutting him out, your emotions and feelings and thoughts are just going to be trapped in. That's not good, not in the least." Cassidy looked at an apparently unfazed Emmett. "Come on. Let's walk to your place. It's obvious you need to sit and think a little bit."

Emmett sat in the chaise lounge in the empty apartment once he had arrived and changed out of his jeans and shirt and into his favorite pair of lounge pants. He knew he'd shut Gavin out. It had been deliberate. The last thing he needed right now was a romance that would end and leave him?and the life he had created, for that matter?in shambles. Emmett convinced himself that Gavin wasn't different from any other, and would eventually lose interest after being shut out. He had not expected, however, for Gavin to get more persistent and finally challenge him. Gavin had left him alone at the bookstore. Emmett then realized that Gavin had left only because he was with Cassidy, not alone, because Gavin had known Cassidy would show him home. He recognized, though, that Gavin had still walked out on him. Challenged him. 

Gavin's words spun through his head: 'relish it.' Could he relish his isolation? Emmett realized that he couldn't. Gavin had flipped his world upside-down. He realized that his independence meant less to him now than it ever had. He didn't just need someone to live with him; he needed Gavin. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. Emmett stood up and started pacing around the kitchen. He was even more enraged as he realized that he had no reason to be angry with Gavin. Gavin had done nothing wrong, and nothing on purpose. Emmett's thoughts were suddenly obliterated when he heard the door open quietly. He whirled around and started speaking as soon as the door was shut. 

"You. Please just turn around and take yourself right back outside, because?"

Gavin had walked over, but interrupted Emmett by grabbing Emmett's face with his hands, bending down, and kissing him. It was the most electrifying kiss of both of their lives, and Gavin knew, in that moment, that he would never fall for anyone else. Emmett was completely taken aback, and was speechless after the kiss had ended. He even wanted to be angry with Gavin for how perfectly their lips fit, but he couldn't. He still couldn't summon any words, either, as Gavin wrapped his arms around him and spoke into his neck. 

"I'm so sorry, Emmett. I'm so sorry I left you there, I'm sorry I acted the way I did, I'm sorry that I didn't make you listen to me the night I told you how beautiful your eyes are. I can't help it, Emmett, it just happened. I haven't slept for three days now, because I can't bear the fact that you won't talk to me, or look at me, or touch me." Gavin broke the embrace and grabbed Emmett's face in his hands again. 

"Emmett, I need you to tell me what you really want. Do you really want solitude? Do you want to be alone with your independence? If you can honestly tell me that that's what you really want, I'll leave you alone, as long as you're happy. That means so much more to me than anything else." Emmett grabbed Gavin's hands in his. 

"That's what I wanted, Gavin. But I don't know, now. You came and just mixed up everything I thought I knew. I tried to shut you out, I did."

"Really? I didn't quite notice," Gavin said, laughing uneasily. 

"Let me finish," Emmett demanded, taking a deep breath. "I couldn't shut you out, no matter how much I tried. I thought you were the same as any other person: you'd come, and then you'd go. But the more I tried to shut you out, the more you tried to get in. Until tonight, I really didn't know what it had done to you. On the way home, though, Cassidy told me that you look like death-warmed-over and were completely distraught. I want to be so mad at you, Gavin, but I can't, because you didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry, Gavin, for causing you so much pain and stress. I didn't know . . ."

"That apology is what I wanted to hear," Gavin said, kissing Emmett's forehead. "What I need to hear, though, is a concrete answer. Do you want to be alone?"

"If being alone means being without you, then no, I don't." Emmett opened his eyes, and Gavin saw the sincerity. He bent down for another kiss, this one deeper and more passionate than the first, his hand touching the side of Emmett's face gently. When the kiss finally ended, Gavin kissed Emmett's forehead again. He held Emmett tightly. He noticed now that Emmett was shirtless, and ran his hands up and down Emmett's muscular back, loving the feeling. He leaned in for another kiss, but Emmett pulled away. 

"Now, now, it's midnight and you have to get up before four, so you need to get what little sleep you can. Gavin proceeded to his room, took of his shoes, and lay on the bed. Moments later, he was absorbed in a deep sleep. Emmett sat on the couch, planning on reading a book, but after running his fingers across two pages of Braille, he drifted off. 

--

Gavin looked at the clock. It was ten minutes before four in the morning. He knew that if he didn't get up now, he wouldn't be on time. He got out of bed, into the shower, and dressed before finally truly waking up. He stepped out of the hallway and into the kitchen, made a pot of coffee, poured a cup and walked over to the couch. He smiled at the sight. Emmett was asleep, one leg thrown over the back of the sofa, the other resting on the cushions, his book on the floor. Gavin stared. Emmett's hair was messed up, he wasn't wearing a shirt, his pants were turned awkwardly; however, Gavin thought it was perfect. Emmett was so peaceful lying there. Gavin wanted to kiss every inch of exposed skin, but didn't want to wake Emmett up, so he finished his coffee and brushed his teeth. He walked over and kissed Emmett on the forehead. 

"I love you, Emmett," he whispered, wishing that Emmett would hear so that he could know, but grateful that he was asleep. 

--

Emmett woke up, unaware at first as to where he was, and then realized he was on the couch. He got up and walked to his room, pressing the button on his alarm clock, which informed him that it was past noon. He went right into his practice room and practiced without so much as changing or eating. 

Gavin walked in and heard the piano, completely enthralled. It was the most beautiful sound he had heard. Emmett had always practiced in his studio at the university before. Gavin walked in the room, then behind a completely unsuspecting Emmett and wrapped his arms around Emmett's bare torso, kissing up his shoulders and neck. Emmett jumped, surprised by the sudden attack on his nerves. 

"What are you still doing in these duds?" Gavin asked. "It's almost six o' clock, and I have dinner reservations made for us."

"Really? I lost track of time, I guess. That happens a lot when I practice," Emmett said, reaching behind him, finding Gavin's shirt, grabbing it, and pulling him down for a mind-blowing kiss. "Will that distract you long enough for me to get ready?"

"That made me want to help you get ready," Gavin purred, completely intoxicated by Emmett's taste and feel. 

"Well, maybe I'll let you choose my clothes. But if we match, I'll kick your ass," Emmett laughed, walking into his bedroom. Gavin heard the shower go on as he fell onto the couch, exhausted. He shut his eyes and soon heard the water turn off, rousing him from his rest. He walked into Emmett's bedroom as Emmett walked out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Gavin couldn't help himself. He walked up to Emmett, pulled him close, and kissed him, running his fingers through Emmett's wet hair. 

"You have no idea how gorgeous you are, Emmett," Gavin said, breathing slowly after breaking the intense kiss. 

"And you have no idea how amazing you feel," Emmett sighed back, "so we'll call it even."

Emmett walked into his closet, stepping past the shoes to the shirts and jeans. 

"Come on," Emmett invited Gavin. 

Gavin stepped in, put a pair of jeans in Emmett's hands and said, "You better put these on before I act on my temptation to take your towel off."

"Excuse me, Mr. Adams, but I don't believe that your motives are pure and modest," Emmett teased, pulling the towel off by himself. Gavin turned around before he could see anything. "You can turn back around," Emmett said. "I put underwear on underneath the towel just in case you got a little frisky," Emmett grinned. 

"Why, you little tease," Gavin smiled, pulling Emmett in for another kiss and running his fingers lightly up and down Emmett's back. He ran a hand across Emmett's lower back, causing Emmett to shudder and almost collapse. 

"That wasn't very nice," Emmett said, trying to blink away his arousal and stand on legs that felt like Jell-O. Gavin smirked, marking in his memory that Emmett's lower back was a sensitive spot. "Now, you, out. You picked my jeans. That's all, otherwise I have a feeling I won't be able to put any clothes on."

Emmett put on the pair of jeans, a nice shirt, a tie, a vest, and a jacket. They complemented each other perfectly. 

"I don't know how you remember where everything is to be able to put it together like that, but I have to tell you: you look stunning. I'll be lucky to have you dangling on my arm tonight," Gavin joked. 

"Dangling? Maybe I'll bring my cane," Emmett taunted, smiling. 

"You'll do nothing of the sort, Dr. Clark. I will take great pride in taking the lust and desire of every woman and gay man in the city out without him needing his cane." 

"You have a cane, too?" Emmett asked, feigning ignorance.

"You better stick to your piano-oriented job, not comedy," Gavin told him. "That way, I can surprise you like I did today while you're practicing and unaware," he whispered into Emmett's ear, causing Emmett to shudder. Gavin kissed him again, this time only a peck on the lips. "Come on, we better be going."

They walked down the stairs, and as they walked through the lobby, Cecelia noticed the markedly different looks on their faces. She also didn't miss the fact that they were holding hands and dressed up. 

"Good evening, you two," she greeted. "Dressed up and going to dinner, I presume?"

"Yes, ma'am," Gavin answered. "Do I have your permission to take this fine gentleman out for a bite to eat and then some coffee?"

"Are your intentions honorable, Mr. Adams?" Cecelia prodded.

"Yes, ma'am. I'm even saving dessert for when we get home," Gavin smiled. Cecelia let out an exuberant laugh while Emmett blushed profusely. 

"You guys have fun. And Emmett?"

"Yes, Cee?"

"After you've returned to your normal skin tone, try to go easy on him."

"Have a good night, Cee," Emmett replied. They walked out the door that Cecelia was holding for them and started down the sidewalk. 

"We're walking tonight," Gavin informed Emmett. 

"That sounds good to me," Emmett replied, squeezing Gavin's hand. Gavin's head reeled as he smiled broadly. It was a dream come true for him: he was walking down the sidewalk holding hands with Emmett. People passed them, and some stared, but Gavin was unfazed. A couple of girls walked by and whistled at them, then broke out into a series of, "Aws" and "That's so cute," when they noticed Gavin's and Emmett's entwined hands. 

"According to most of the pedestrians, I have the most beautiful man on my arm right now," Gavin said into Emmett's ear as they stopped to wait for traffic. 

"You know, I offered to bring my cane so I didn't make you look bad," Emmett beamed, stepping in front of Gavin, facing him, and placing his hands on Gavin's chest. "Plus, for all I know, you're probably making me look bad."

"Emmett, you would stand out in a crowd of men as the most stunning one," Gavin told him, turning him around and covering Emmett's right hand with his and threading his left arm around Emmett's lower back. As they crossed the street, Gavin noticed Emmett blushing. 

"So, you didn't tell me where we're eating this evening," Emmett said. 

"Well, it's this wonderful little Italian restaurant. I got reservations only because I know the owner."

"Do you? And just how well do you know the owner?" Emmett asked. 

"Oh, no, this isn't my restaurant. That would be disastrous. I would never go there when I'm spending time with you, because as far as I'm concerned, you deserve my full attention, not them." 

Emmett blushed again as Gavin guided him through a door and into the restaurant. Emmett was surrounded by the most heavenly smell that he had ever experienced. He heard Gavin mumble a few words to someone, and before he knew it, he was being led to his seat. Emmett sat down, and Gavin took his seat across the small table. Gavin watched intently as Emmett slowly and gently felt everything in front of him on the table. Afterwards, he set his hands in his lap politely. 

"I have to know where everything is, so I don't break something, or knock it over, or spill my glass of water," Emmett explained, looking away, feeling Gavin's eyes pierce him. 

Dinner passed uneventfully, and Emmett had never tasted such amazing Italian food in his life. He discovered that the owners, a husband and wife, were from Italy, and had moved there when they were young. They started the restaurant 40 years ago, and ever since it had been one of the most successful in the city. 

Gavin was fairly quiet throughout dinner, but his eyes rarely left Emmett. He couldn't bring himself to look away. Everything Emmett did was so endearing. 

"I'm paying, since you took the time to make these reservations, and took the time to bring me," Emmett stated when the meal was coming to an end.

"Oh, no you're not," Gavin argued. "It's already done. The owners and I have a sort of deal," Gavin said. He saw the fire rise in Emmett's eyes. 

"You are so frustrating sometimes," Emmett said. 

"Oh, you don't know the half of it," Gavin replied, no small amount of innuendo in his voice. The anger immediately disappeared from Emmett's eyes, replaced by something like shock. 

"Come on, you, let's go get some coffee," Gavin said, smiling. 

"Only if I can pay for it," Emmett said, crossing his arms in mock pouting, then rising. 

"Alright, deal," Gavin answered, pausing for a few seconds to join Emmett. "But you should know you've paid me enough by giving me a chance in your life."

"Well, it was somewhat inevitable, seeing as you're living with me," Emmett joked, smiling to break the tension. He looked up to steal a quick kiss before threading his fingers between Gavin's and resting his other hand on Gavin's arm. They walked quietly to a nearby café like that, listening to the sounds of the city while engrossed with each other. 

They sat at a small, round table. Emmett removed his jacket and put it on the back of his chair, and offered money to Gavin. Gavin took it, but put it back in the pocket of Emmett's coat as he leaned in and kissed Emmett on the cheek. 

"I'll be right back," Gavin said into Emmett's ear. He walked up to the bar and waited for their drinks, talking with one of the baristas. 

Emmett smiled to himself. He couldn't remember a time that he had been this happy. 

"Dr. Clark, how are you today?" Emmett turned to answer the question. 

"I'm great, Clara. Are you having a good week?"

"Yes, I am. You know, if I may say so . . ." she trailed off, waiting for Emmett's response.




Here to Stay Ch. 03



"Go ahead," Emmett said, a touch of wariness in his voice. 

"You seem a lot more cheerful than you've been in a long time. Would the reason for that be the stud standing up at the bar?" Emmett couldn't help but smile.

"Clara . . ." he said, shocked. "I can't believe you'd . . . yes," he finally answered. 

"Well, good. I'm so happy for you. The piano has its place in life, but you can't hide behind it forever and shut people out," she said affably. "I'll let you get back to your date, because I have to run with mine, otherwise we'll miss the ballet. Have fun tonight," she said implicatively. 

"You, too, Clara," Emmett said. He heard the door open and close behind him as Gavin took his seat, handing Emmett his coffee. 

"Who was that lovely young woman?" Gavin asked. Emmett could barely distinguish a hint of jealousy in his voice. 

"Don't be so envious. If anything, I should be jealous of you and that man behind the bar that you were talking to," Emmett said. Gavin leaned over the table, close to Emmett's ear. 

"That's Sam. He's about 300 pounds and a five inches shorter than you," he said before he sat back, laughing almost hysterically. Emmett reveled in that sound. 

"Anyways, that was one of my students, Clara. She's one of the most talented and hard-working pianists I've ever met. She's going places."

"Her date hated that you were prettier than him," Gavin chuckled. Emmett laughed, too, but his smile faded when Gavin continued a few moments later. 

"Emmett, there are some things you should know," Gavin said gravely, out of the blue. "I, uh, I used to party. A lot. And get drunk even more. And, well, have sex a lot," Gavin stuttered, squirming in his seat. 

"I know," Emmett informed him. 

"What?" Confusion was stamped on Gavin's face. 

"When Cassidy, Suzanne, Matt, and I used to hang out during our undergrad years, they always used to tell me about their good friend, and oh, the stories they told. The goal was to get me to loosen up more and have a little more fun, but as you can imagine, when you're blind and drunk, it's impossible enough to walk and keep your balance, let alone meet people. Well, one time Cassidy got pretty trashed and let your name slip. When I met you a few weeks ago, though, I could tell that you had changed. What I saw was someone who had isolated himself entirely. My guess is that you found less satisfaction in partying and sleeping around than you did in just being alone."

"I was always left with the most horrid feeling," Gavin choked out. Emmett set his coffee on the table and grabbed Gavin's hands with his. 

"The point is, Gavin, everyone has a past. I don't care about yours, as long as that's what it is: in the past. Not the present, not the future, because those are open books, and I'd like to have a part in both."

Gavin blinked the tears forming behind his eyes away, ashamed at the display in public. He realized that Emmett was everything he had ever wanted and needed. After realizing how hard he had fallen for Emmett, he found his voice. 

"I don't know what to say, Emmett."

"Then why are you still talking?" Emmett asked, leaning over the table and giving Gavin a short kiss. "Let's go home."

They both got up, and Emmett put on his jacket, feeling in his pockets, and pulling out the twenty-dollar bill he had given Gavin. 

"Gavin Michael Adams, this had better not be what I think it is," he stated in a motherly way. 

"Maybe you put it in there and forgot about it," Gavin laughed, reaching for Emmett's arm. The rest of the walk to the apartment was silent, but very comfortable. Cecelia's voice greeted them before they got to the doors. 

"You two have fun?" She got her answer from the looks on their faces before either of them had spoken a word. "I'm glad," she said, opening the door. 

Once at the apartment, Emmett walking side to the counter and turned around, hearing Gavin shut the door. Gavin turned his head and looked at Emmett, and didn't delay for any longer. He walked over quickly and covered Emmett's mouth with his. His hands wandered up Emmett's chest as Emmett's grasped Gavin's neck and the side of his face. The kiss was gentle and passionate. Gavin finally pulled away, leaving both of them breathless. 

"I've been waiting to do that all nigh?" Emmett interrupted Gavin by grabbing his tie and pulling him into another kiss, this one more aggressive. Tongues warred while breathing was forgotten. Emmett pulled on Gavin's bottom lip with his teeth, eliciting a moan from Gavin as he stepped away. 

"I'm sorry," Emmett apologized. "I didn't think you'd mind."

"I didn't mind at all. I don't know if we're ready for that much, uh, physically, yet." Emmett stepped over to Gavin and wrapped his arms around his neck. 

"Thank you," he said, kissing Gavin's chin. They stood in the embrace for a few minutes, neither of them wanting to move. Emmett finally pulled away, walked to his bedroom, undressed, and got in bed. He got back out of bed as soon as he had lay down.  

Gavin went to his room, stripped to his underwear, and got in bed, shutting his eyes. He couldn't figure out whether or not he wanted to laugh, cry, or scream with joy. 

"You didn't think you were getting off that easily, did you?" Gavin's eyes fluttered open, only to focus on Emmett's silhouette standing in the doorway, clad only in a small pair of black briefs. Emmett walked over, grabbed Gavin's hand after a few seconds of feeling for it, and led him across the hall. He pulled Gavin to him, feeling their bare chests touch as Emmett kissed him briefly. They got in the bed, and Gavin wrapped his arms around Emmett, Emmett lying back against Gavin's chest. They fell asleep that way, neither of them overlooking the perfection of the way they fit.



Here to Stay Ch. 04



Emmett woke up on Gavin's chest, his arms threaded under Gavin's and under the pillow Gavin's head rested on. Emmett kissed the smooth skin that covered Gavin's upper body. 

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up," Gavin whispered groggily. "It's almost nine." Gavin flipped Emmett over and rolled on top of him, suspending himself on his elbows. He leaned in and kissed Emmett on the eyelids, and then took advantage of his open mouth. 

"Good morning to you, too," Emmett said, wrapping his arms around Gavin's torso, drawing Gavin down on top of him. "I'd love to stay in bed all day, but I have a lesson today, and Cassidy is meeting us for coffee at two. Plan accordingly," Emmett bossed good-naturedly. 

"What if I don't let you leave this bed? Then what?" Gavin smiled. 

"Paybacks are a bitch, Mr. Adams," Emmett said, kissing Gavin's chin, then nibbling on Gavin's bottom lip. "I won't stop until you let me out of bed," Emmett threatened while Gavin writhed on top of him. 

"If you keep that up, I'll be so turned on I won't ever be able to leave the bed," he said, pulling away and getting out of bed, pulling Emmett up to his feet with him. Emmett threw his arms around Gavin's neck, kissing his chin again while spinning around. 

"Thank you," he said, walking into the bathroom. Gavin's eyes followed Emmett. Gavin's pulse spiked as his eyes skimmed over Emmett's wide shoulders that tapered down his muscular back to his narrow waist, his black briefs resting below his hips tantalizingly. Emmett's full butt and muscular legs flexed as he walked through the doorway. His voice echoed through the bathroom, pulling Gavin back to reality. 

"You know, it's not polite to stare."

"It's your fault. You just look too damn good," Gavin retorted. Emmett's face peeked around the doorway.

"And don't you like it," Emmett said, smiling widely. 

"You are such a tease!" Gavin shouted, running into the bathroom, picking Emmett up and setting him on the counter. Gavin stepped between Emmett's spread legs and kissed him fervently, kissing from Emmett's neck down his chest and flat, muscular stomach to his hips, sucking on the bone there. Emmett felt himself becoming aroused and pulled Gavin up, away from his arousal. 

"Sorry. I just can't keep my hands--or lips--off you," Gavin apologized breathlessly, kissing Emmett chastely on the lips. He stepped back, kissed Emmett's hand, and left the bathroom. Emmett leaned back against the mirror behind him, taking a deep breath. Was he ready? He needed to tell Gavin the truth. Emmett slid off the counter and walked to Gavin's bedroom door to find it shut. 

"Oh, god, yeah," he heard Gavin mutter inside, and Emmett realized what Gavin was doing. The recognition crushed Emmett. He felt so ashamed that he didn't satisfy Gavin enough, and even a touch angry, but mostly confused. 

Emmett quickly walked back to the bathroom, showered, and dressed. When he walked out, he could smell that Gavin had showered as well. 

Gavin looked at Emmett as he entered the kitchen and immediately knew something wasn't right. He walked over and put a hand on Emmett's neck. 

"Emmett, what's wrong?" Gavin noticed Emmett had shut his eyes. 

"Nothing, why?"

"Emmett . . ." Gavin tilted Emmett's face to his, and immediately saw the pain in Emmett's eyes when he opened them. 

"What did I do, Emmett? What's wrong?" Emmett heard the desperation in Gavin's voice, but tried to ignore it. 

"Honestly, it's nothing. I'm just worried about today with Cassidy. I'm nervous. That's all," Emmett said semi-convincingly. Gavin saw through it, but gave Emmett some space. 

"Whatever you say," he said, taking Emmett's arm and walking downstairs. They grabbed a bagel on the way to the university, and Gavin walked Emmett to his studio. 

"I can only imagine having you as a professor one-on-one behind a shut door," Gavin said, his voice full of mischief. This seemed to distance Emmett even more. Gavin grabbed Emmett's face and held it between his hands. 

"Listen, I don't know what you're worried about or what I did to cause you pain, but I'm here. It hurts that you don't trust me enough to tell me." He stared into Emmett's non-responsive face. "Have a good day, Emmett. I'll see you at Kelly's at two. Cassidy's going to pick you up." Gavin kissed Emmett's cheek and walked away. 

--

"Okay, you need to tell me what's up," Cassidy demanded, sitting across from him in Kelly's café. 

"I really don't know, Cass. I really care about him. More than I thought I could. It's just . . . this morning when we woke up, he went a bit too far--"

"Wait, what do you mean, 'when we woke up'? You slept together?"

"Yes, and that's all it was: sleeping. Anyways, we got a little carried away in the bathroom. The part that scares me is that I really want to go farther with him, because he makes me feel safe. But at the same time, I can't have that be the basis of our relationship."

"Do you really think--never mind. That's between you two." 

"Anyways, when I stopped him this morning, he seemed really cool with it. He respected me, but I was outside his room when I was supposed to be in the shower, and I overheard, and well, he took care of it himself, if you know what I mean." Emmett paused to blush. "This is told to no one, do you understand?"

"Em, I'm your best friend. What else can I do if not listen and give input to you, then keep my mouth shut?"

"Thanks. Anyways, I just," Emmett paused, letting out a breath, "I don't know. I feel ashamed, guilty, and angry at the same time."

"You shouldn't, not at all. I don't see what the big deal is. Think about it. If Gavin got you all stirred up, didn't want to cross that boundary, and you needed release, wouldn't you just do it yourself? I don't see the problem. He cares about you just as much, if not more, than you care about him. You actually have no idea how much he feels for you. I bet he just knew that his, uh, excitement, wouldn't go away if he didn't do something about it."

"So, I'm reading too much into this? Again?"

"Mmhmm. Sorry, darling, but it's different in the world of the seeing," Cassidy said, taking a sip of her drink. Emmett laughed, taking the comment in stride. "Speaking of Gavin, here he is now." Emmett heard the door open and close. "It's about time," Cassidy sneered. 

"Sorry I'm late," Gavin apologized, coming over to the table. He leaned down and gave Emmett a kiss on the ear. Gavin saw him shudder from the contact. "Hey, you. Feeling better?"

"Yes, I am, thank you," Emmett answered, grabbing Gavin's hand under the table. 

"I ordered your usual," Cassidy told him. 

"Thank you." 

"I really have to get back to the studio to practice, but I need to use the restroom first. Coffee goes right through me," Emmett said. He got up and counted his steps to the bathroom. 

Cassidy glared at Gavin from across the table. 

"What?" Gavin asked innocently, seeing the look on her face. 

"You need to be careful. Emmett is finally opening up to you, and you can't blow it."

"Cass, I don't plan on it. I know this sounds really cliché for having only been in the relationship, roommate or more, for a month, but I don't ever plan on going anywhere. Honestly, he's it for me."

"You don't understand, though, Gav. You need to be careful how you, uh, proceed with things," Cassidy told him. 

"I don't plan on rushing him physically, if that's what you mean."

"Well, no, I'd hope not, since it will be his first time," Cassidy said, finishing her coffee. 

"What?"

"Oh, shit," Cassidy said, realizing by the look on Gavin's face that he didn't know. 

"Wait, what do you mean by 'first time'? You can't possibly expect me to believe that a man as gorgeous as Emmett has never--"

"Listen, Gavin," Cassidy said seriously. "Once most guys found out he was blind, they ran. The few that stuck around treated it like a fad. 'I'm dating a blind guy,' seemed really nice since they got so much attention out of it. After the fun was over, though, they left, especially when they found out he was genuinely interested in someone to spend his life with, not a quick fuck."

"He's never done anything?" Gavin asked. 

"Gavin, let me put it this way since you're having such a hard time grasping this concept. You are the second man he's ever kissed. Ever. The first guy was the only other man he'd ever let his guard down with. His name was John. The asshole broke it off suddenly and left Emmett at the restaurant where he'd ended it while he went his own way. Emmett sat there for two hours until Matt was able to pick him up. Listen, I'd love to stay and talk, but I am supposed to be at a client's house in ten minutes. Tell Emmett 'bye' for me," Cassidy said, walking out. Emmett emerged a couple seconds later. 

"You, me, home, now," Gavin ordered, practically picking Emmett up. Emmett was very confused, and asked the question eating away at his insides before they reached the building. 

"Where's Cass? Why is this so urgent? And why at home?"

"Where better?" Gavin asked to answer his question. 

Once in the apartment, Gavin led Emmett to the couch, and then sat on the table in front of it, facing him. Gavin put his hands on top of Emmett's, which were resting on his legs. 

"Why didn't you tell me, Emmett?" Gavin asked softly. He immediately noticed the tears come to Emmett's eyes as he blushed and looked down. He closed his eyes and pulled his hands out from underneath Gavin's. 

"No, damn it, Emmett, I'm not letting you shut me out now. Why didn't you tell me?" Gavin asked persistently, grabbing Emmett's hands again.

"It's so hard for me, Gavin. I was going to this morning, but you were, uh . . ." Emmett trailed off. 

"Shit," Gavin cursed under his breath, beating himself up. 

"No, it's okay. I understand; I would've done the same. But the last time I told someone, he broke it off on the spot. He wanted nothing to do with me. His name was--"

"John," Gavin interrupted. 

"I'm going to kill Cassidy," Emmett said, wiping a tear from his face. "I was--am, for that matter--so afraid that you would leave, Gavin--"

"Emmett, he was an asshole. I'm not going anywhere. If you never decided to bring a physical aspect to this relationship, I'd still be here. That's how much you mean to me, Emmett." Gavin grabbed Emmett's face in his hands, moving to sit down next to Emmett on the couch. "I love you, Emmett. You need to know that. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, no matter what you or anyone else tells me." Gavin leaned back against the arm of the couch, pulling Emmett into him. He wrapped his arms around Emmett and kissed his ear lightly. 

Emmett's mind was reeling. He was so overwhelmed that he didn't know what to do but let the tears keep falling. 

"What? What's wrong?" Gavin asked, concerned. 

"I love you, too, Gavin," Emmett sputtered out, turning over to wrap his arms around Gavin. "This wasn't the way I planned on telling you," Emmett said into Gavin's chest. "I didn't even know if I would get the chance."

Gavin kissed Emmett's forehead, then leaned back again. The two lay there that way, falling asleep in each others' arms. 

--

Gavin woke up and looked down, smiling. Emmett was fast asleep with his arms wrapped around Gavin tightly. Gavin kissed the top of his head and then looked over to the window. The sun was just starting to set, so Gavin looked at the clock.

"Shit!" Gavin exclaimed, realizing he was supposed to be at one of his restaurants over an hour ago. Emmett stirred, but snuggled into Gavin's chest even more. Gavin thought that this display was the cutest thing he'd ever seen, but unfortunately, he had to end it. 

"Hey, Emmett," Gavin whispered gently in his ear. "It's time to wake up. I was supposed to be at work a while ago," Gavin said, sitting Emmett up. 

"Then why are you still here?" Emmett teased, blinking the tiredness away. "Go, go to work. I'll be here when you get home. I should be practicing anyways, not cuddle-raping you." Gavin laughed and kissed Emmett ardently. 

"You can do anything to me and I would probably enjoy it," Gavin smiled, kissing Emmett again. Emmett pushed him off the couch and Gavin stumbled to his feet, surprised. 

"You're going to be really late now. Go," Emmett ordered. 

"I love it when you tell me what to do," Gavin whispered suggestively, bending down and nibbling Emmett's earlobe. Emmett gasped and pulled away, kissing Gavin quickly on the chin while rising. 

"You are a lost cause," Emmett teased. "Now, seriously, go!" Gavin kissed Emmett deeply one more time before he left. 

"I'll see you later. I love you, Emmett," Gavin said, kissing his forehead. 

"I love you," Emmett answered, "but if you don't get out of here now, I might not let you leave at all tonight."

Gavin laughed, and Emmett heard the door close, signaling Gavin's departure. Emmett walked to the piano room, sat down, and practiced for the six hours that Gavin was gone. 

--

Gavin walked in the house a few minutes after midnight, hearing the piano play. He walked through the kitchen and down the hall, then leaned in the doorway of the room. 

"Have you been practicing this entire time?" Gavin asked. Emmett jumped, surprised at the voice. 

"Yes," he said simply. "But now that you're home, I can think of other things to do with my hands." Emmett stopped and blushed. "Sorry. That was a little too far."

"You are too damn cute when you blush," Gavin said, pulling Emmett up into a staggering kiss. 

"You need to stop that," Emmett said, pulling away. 

"What? What did I do?" Gavin stepped away, grabbing Emmett's hands in his. 

"If you keep kissing me like you just did, I'm liable to never let you stop," Emmett said. 

"Yes, that would be tragic, wouldn't it?" Gavin smiled, kissing Emmett again. "Did you miss me while I was away?"

"No, silly, I had my piano," Emmett said matter-of-factly. Gavin thought he was serious until he saw the playfulness in Emmett's eyes and Emmett continued. 

"I'm just kidding. Lighten up," he said, while encircling Gavin's waist with his arms and resting his head on Gavin's shoulder. Gavin ran his hands through Emmett's hair and sighed. 

"Let's go to bed," Gavin said, yawning. "I know you have a few lessons tomorrow and I have to be at the office for the restaurants at seven." He leaned down and picked Emmett up, carried him down the hall, and set him gently on his feet in the bedroom. He proceeded by unbuttoning Emmett's shirt and slipping it off of him, then lifting Emmett's undershirt over his head. Gavin ran his hands down Emmett's chest and stomach and wrapped his arms around Emmett's waist, drawing Emmett in. They kissed tenderly while Gavin ran his hands up Emmett's back and Emmett ran his hands through Gavin's hair and down his neck. Gavin leaned Emmett back onto the bed and removed his jeans. Gavin then stood up and removed his own clothes, then lay back down on his side next to Emmett, resting his head on one hand, running the other down Emmett's chest. Emmett shuddered from Gavin's light touch. 

"Good night, gorgeous," Gavin said to Emmett. Emmett rolled on top of Gavin. 

"Good night," Emmett said, leaning down and kissing Gavin. Emmett lay back down, and felt Gavin's bare chest against his back. Gavin draped his arm over Emmett's waist before falling asleep. 

--

Cassidy looked at Emmett. For the first time for as long as she had known him, there was a true happiness behind those eyes. Not only that, but every time she had seen him and Gavin exchange glances, she picked up on a fire there after the day at the café last week when Gavin had learned Emmett's secret. 

"So, does Gavin know we're here?" Emmett asked her.

"No, but he will soon enough," Cassidy said, taking the last bite of her lunch. Sure enough, Gavin walked out to greet his customers, like always. Cassidy noticed Gavin spot Emmett sitting there and watched the smile spread across his face as he made his way over. Emmett turned in Gavin's direction and surprised him.

"Hey," Emmett greeted. 

"Hey, you," Gavin said, leaning down for a quick kiss. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Well, I could feel Cassidy staring at you--call it a sixth sense--and I smelled you when you walked over."

"Smelled me? Maybe we should shower when we're home." He paused. "Enjoy your lunch?"

"Yes; the food was great," Emmett said. 

"Uh, hello," Cassidy said, interrupting their one-to-one conversation. "May I interject?"

"Yes, but I have to get back upstairs. I'll talk to you later, Cassidy. Emmett, I'll see you at home," he said, giving Emmett another quick kiss, then disappearing. 

"It's a little annoying that every time you two are around each other, anyone else around ceases to exist," Cassidy said. 

"Cass--"

"I'm happy for you. Don't mind me," Cassidy said. "Alright, I have to get back to my office and plan a remodel for some bitchy WASP. She wants her kitchen completely redone. Let's walk back to your apartment," Cassidy said. 

Once there, Cassidy said goodbye and left. Emmett got a drink, thinking about his plan, then put it into action. He walked to Gavin's room and felt his way around, carrying all of Gavin's belongings into his room. Emmett moved all of the clothes into his dresser and huge closet, and put his other things in the nightstand and bathroom. Satisfied, he walked to his practice room, sat down at the piano, and practiced for a few hours. Afterwards, he went to the refrigerator, looking for something to eat, when he heard the door unlock and open. Emmett spun around, surprised and slightly afraid, until Gavin's voice filled the room. 

"You're not allowed to eat," Gavin said. "I've already made plans for us."

"Well, hello to you, too," Emmett smiled. "What are you doing home so early?" Gavin walked over to him, embracing him. 

"What, aren't you happy to see me?" Gavin asked, feigning disappointment. 

"I should show you how disappointed I am," Emmett answered, smiling widely. 

"Well, I'm sure I'd like that, but we need to get going. I'm going to go get changed, and you should do the same. Tee-shirts and jeans should do for tonight, and you might want a sweatshirt since it might get a little chilly this evening."

Gavin walked back to his room to change, only to find his dresser empty. He looked in his closet, nightstand, and bathroom, which were also empty. He immediately expected the worst, and was absolutely crushed. He sat down on the bed, dizzy, nauseous, and on the verge of tears. 

"Emmett," Gavin called. Emmett immediately heard both the panic and the despair in his voice and rushed down the hall, wondering what had caused his alarm.

"Gavin, what's wrong?" a concerned Emmett asked, standing in the doorway. "Where are you?"

"On the bed." Emmett walked over to the bed and sat next to Gavin, who immediately enfolded Emmett in his arms. 

"What did I do, Emmett? What did I do wrong?" Gavin asked, finally giving in to the tears lurking behind his eyes. 

"What are you talking about Gavin?"

"Where are m--" Gavin didn't finish, as Emmett finally figured out what the problem was.

"Shh. Follow me," Emmett told him, grabbing Gavin's hand and leading him across the hall. Emmett opened his closet door and switched on the light. Gavin stepped inside and saw all of his clothes hanging or folded on the shelves next to Emmett's. 

"See? I figured there's no sense in two rooms and two closets and two bathrooms since you're in here with me most of the time, anyways."

Gavin breathed a sigh of relief, moved by the gesture. He tried to imagine the time and effort it took Emmett to move all of his possessions from one room to the other and organize them, all without being able to see. He turned around, tears in his eyes, and saw Emmett leaning against the doorframe of the closet, beaming. Gavin was touched, and the tears started falling again. 




Here to Stay Ch. 04



Gavin thought for a moment. He hadn't cried in eight years. Then, when Emmett came along, his entire life had been turned upside down, and it seemed he cried more than a pre-menopausal woman.

"Oh, my god, Emmett," Gavin croaked, barely above a whisper. 

"I can move it all back if you want me to--"

"No, this is perfect," Gavin intervened, walking out of the closet and practically collapsing on the bed. "You had me scared shitless."

"I'm sorry. I should've told you when you started down the hall to the other room."

"No, you're fine." Gavin paused, taking another deep breath, then smiling. "Thank you."

"Well, I figured it was logical enough, and I wouldn't have it any other way than having you as close as possible." 

Emmett walked back to the closet and changed into a tee-shirt, but had trouble with the jeans he had picked, as they were button-fly. 

"I don't know why I can't do this today . . ." he sighed, trailing off as he felt Gavin step up behind him, chest against his back, surrounding Emmett with his strong arms and gently buttoning his jeans. After he had finished, Gavin wrapped his arms around Emmett, one around his waist and the other around his chest. Emmett found the gesture very thoughtful and romantic, and rested his head back against Gavin's shoulder. 

"Thank you," Emmett said softly.

"You're welcome," Gavin replied, kissing Emmett's temple and stepping back. He proceeded to change his own clothes, listening to Emmett. 

"So, are you going to tell me where we're picnicking tonight?"

"How did you--"

"Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I'm not observant," Emmett interrupted. 

"Emmett, I know that. You pick up on things that most people don't." Gavin sat next to Emmett on the bed. "That's one of the reasons you're so darn endearing," he whispered, nibbling on Emmett's ear. "And besides, you informed me of your perceptiveness first thing when I moved in here," he said, continuing his attack on Emmett's ear. 

"We'll have time for that later," Emmett said, backing away from Gavin's inviting mouth. Gavin was dumbfounded at Emmett's curtness, but Emmett cleared up Gavin's disappointment with a kiss. "We just don't have enough time as I would like to do that right now." Emmett took a breath. "Anyways, I found the extra dishes in the refrigerator that weren't there yesterday afternoon, and you mentioned that we would be outside. I just assumed we were going on some kind of picnic."

"Well, you're right. As you probably already know, the symphony is having a concert in a nice park in one of the suburbs this weekend. I bought two tickets, so we will be sitting on a blanket on the grass, eating food and listening to Beethoven's first, Brahms' fourth, and Tchaikovsky's sixth symphonies, not to mention Rachmaninov's third piano concerto. I'm looking forward to the company the most, though," Gavin said, kissing Emmett quickly. 

They discussed their plans for the week ahead on the drive there. Once there, they spread the blanket out on the lawn and ate. They were still eating when the symphony started. Eventually, they finished, and Gavin cleaned the food up, putting everything back in the small cooler. He crawled back onto the blanket and sat behind Emmett, straddling him. Emmett leaned back and shivered, feeling the warmth from Gavin's chest seep into his back. As it got dark, Gavin lay back, propping his head up with his bunched up sweatshirt, and wrapped an arm around Emmett. Emmett lay on his side next to Gavin, with his head resting on Gavin's chest. 

"Thank you for tonight, Gav," Emmett whispered. Gavin looked down into Emmett's eyes, suspending everything else going on around them. 

"It's no trouble, as long as I get to be with you," Gavin said, kissing Emmett's hair. 

"I love you, Gavin," Emmett said. 

"I love you, too, Emmett," Gavin said back, gently taking two fingers and brushing back a piece of hair that had fallen in Emmett's face. Gavin held Emmett tightly for the rest of the concert, and held his hand the duration of the trip back to the city. 

They went immediately to bed after they had put the food in the refrigerator. Once in bed, Emmett could bear it no longer. He flipped himself on top of Gavin and kissed him deeply, his hands exploring every inch of Gavin's outstretched arms. 

Emmett left Gavin's lips and kissed his way slowly up each arm, smelling Gavin's clean, masculine scent. He nibbled his way up Gavin's neck to his ears, causing Gavin to shift beneath him. Emmett finally returned to Gavin's lips, kissing them, then biting his lower lip gently. Gavin gasped from the sensation as Emmett brushed his hand across Gavin's underwear while he nipped his lip. Emmett continued to rub Gavin's rapidly hardening sex through the fabric while sucking on a spot just behind Gavin's ear that he knew was sensitive, and then bit Gavin's earlobe. 

Emmett finally moved Gavin's underwear out of his way and stroked Gavin's arousal while kissing him. 

"You didn't tell me that you were packing down here, Mr. Adams," Emmett said, the mischief palpable in his voice as he ran his thumb over Gavin's glans repeatedly. 

"Oh, god . . . Emmett . . ." was all Gavin could muster. He writhed in pleasure beneath Emmett, taking every ounce of willpower he possessed to not come at that moment. It would have worked, too, but Emmett had other plans.

Emmett straddled Gavin's legs, kneeling, and started stroking Gavin's large member. He stroked harder and harder before licking and nibbling Gavin's nipples, while simultaneously grabbing Gavin's balls. 

Gavin gave a series of guttural moans as he shot between their bodies. Stars glittered behind his eyes as he lost himself in the pleasure. Emmett waited until Gavin's orgasm had passed, then licked his way up Gavin's body, cleaning him off, reveling the taste. Emmett finally reached Gavin's mouth and kissed him deeply. Gavin could taste himself in Emmett's mouth, but he didn't mind. 

"I love you," Emmett told him quietly, kissing Gavin's closed eyes. 

"Oh, Emmett," Gavin managed, wrapping his arms around the man he loved. He felt Emmett shaking. 

"What's wrong?" Gavin asked.

"I hope nothing," Emmett said, horrified that he had done something wrong. 

"You're shaking."

"I'm nervous," Emmett said bashfully. "I've never done this, and I didn't want you to be disappointed." 

Gavin threw Emmett onto his back and hovered over him, clutching his face.

"Emmett, let's clear two very important things up right now," Gavin said, pausing to kiss the man beneath him. "First of all, the only way you could ever disappoint me is by not being happy." Gavin kissed Emmett again. "Secondly, what you just did to me right there was better than anything I've had. Ever. Not even comparable. Faster, definitely, but better." 

"You're just saying that," Emmett said, looking away. Gavin took the opportunity and put his mouth right next to Emmett's ear and whispered. 

"No, I can honestly say that, because it was with the man I love more than life itself." Gavin kissed Emmett's cheek, then turned Emmett's face so he could kiss him properly. It was a long, deep kiss, enough to make anyone blush. It was so full of love that the two saw fireworks behind their closed eyes. Gavin pulled away, sliding his hand down Emmett's hard stomach. 

"Now, your turn."

"No," Emmett protested as he put his hands on Gavin's shoulders firmly to stop him. 

"What?"

"No."

"Em, that's not fair. You can't do that to me and then not let me pleasure you--"

"My pleasure was pleasing you," Emmett said, kissing Gavin almost chastely. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Gavin relented, throwing his underwear across the room, then removing Emmett's and doing the same. 

"Why, thank you, Mr. Adams," Emmett said. "Those were getting a bit constricting."

"I do what I can, doctor." 

Emmett shook against his lover with laughter, bringing an enormous grin to Gavin's face. They both fell asleep smiling.



Here to Stay Ch. 05



Emmett woke up to find that his pleasure was not just in a dream. He weaved his fingers through Gavin's short hair as Gavin swallowed Emmett's entire length, causing Emmett to cry out and arch his back. Gavin played with Emmett's balls with one hand, and circled Emmett's rosebud with a finger of the other. This proved too much for Emmett, and Emmett tried to warn Gavin, but was unable to find the air or words. 

"Ugh," Emmett mustered. Emmett's black world flashed to white as he came hard, breathing heavily and moaning quietly. Gavin felt Emmett's penis jerk in his mouth as the first rope of cum went down his throat. Gavin kept swallowing as Emmett shot again and again, unaware that anyone could ejaculate so much. When Emmett was finally finished, Gavin held his softening cock in his mouth, sucking and licking it. 

"Gavin, stop," Emmett gasped, shuddering. Gavin released him, realizing his sensitivity, and crawled up to Emmett and enfolded him in his arms. They lay there, sated. 

"Good morning," Gavin said with a smile playing on his words evident to Emmett. 

"Paybacks are a bitch, you know," Emmett said, kissing Gavin again and getting out of the bed. 

"Yes, you've warned me of that before. I look forward to anything you do to me to 'pay me back'."

"Gavin, seriously, that was truly . . . there are no words."

"You're welcome," Gavin said almost haughtily, kissing Emmett again. Emmett broke the kiss and caught his breath. 

"Come on, you. You have to be to work in a couple of hours and I have to be at the studio today, as well," Emmett said, rising from the bed. Emmett's words went in one of Gavin's ears and right out the other. All he could do was stare to take in the sight. Emmett stood by the bed, his slender, muscular body glowing in the sunlight coming through one of the windows. The light sprinkling of hair all over his body glistened. Gavin's eyes traced over his man's shoulders, well-defined chest, flat stomach, narrow waist, and then back up to Emmett's mussed hair. 

"When you're ready to talk instead of stare, I'll be in the shower." Emmett turned and walked into the bathroom, and Gavin watched his muscular, round ass disappear in the bathroom, then heard the shower turn on. Gavin stepped into the bathroom and relieved himself while talking to Emmett. 

"I couldn't help staring, you know," he said. "The way you looked, you were practically begging to be thrown on the ground and taken advantage of." Gavin turned and saw Emmett through the small opening between the shower wall and the curtain, and his breath was suddenly stolen. He watched as the water cascaded over Emmett's hair and face, then trickled down his body. Realizing he couldn't bear to just watch, Gavin stepped in the shower quietly, turned Emmett around and kissed him, running his hands all over Emmett's wet body. Emmett broke the kiss and raised one eyebrow playfully. 

"And just what do you think you're doing?" he questioned.

"I'm sorry," Gavin sighed. "I couldn't resist." Gavin pulled Emmett into a toe-curling kiss. When Gavin finally relented his assault on Emmett's mouth, he whispered into Emmett's ear tenderly. 

"You have no idea how beautiful you are. You take my breath away every time I see you, every second you're with me. I love you, Emmett."

This time it was Emmett who pushed Gavin into the wall of the shower and initiated another voracious kiss. Gavin moaned from the contrasting sensations of the cold tile on the shower wall against his back and Emmett's hot flesh pushing against his front. 

"Emmett . . ." Gavin sighed, wrapping his arms around the man he adored. Emmett's fiery mood was suddenly extinguished as a more tender disposition took over. They held one another as the hot water flowed over them, kissing occasionally. Finally, Emmett kissed his way down Gavin's body, feeling every peak and valley of muscle and skin on Gavin's upper body under his lips. Emmett ran his tongue down Gavin's stomach, stopping to explore his navel, then continued down to just above Gavin's pubic hair. Emmett bit the bare skin gently, evoking a scream from Gavin as he fell back against the wall of the shower. Emmett wrapped his mouth around the tip of Gavin's erect penis, moving his tongue underneath. Gavin, who normally prided himself as having control, flew over the edge as Emmett slid a finger gently into Gavin's ass. Gavin thrust forward, and Emmett swallowed every drop of release while slowly drawing his finger from Gavin's pulsing hole. Gavin, weak from the intensity of the orgasm, slid down against the wall of the shower. Emmett caught him and pulled him back up, kissing him amorously. 

"See what happens when you wake me up?" Emmett smiled. 

"Emmett," Gavin said, opening his eyes. 

"Yes?"

"Emmett," Gavin said again, looking into Emmett's deep brown eyes and seeing the love and smug satisfaction. Gavin put his hands on Emmett's shoulders and ran them up his neck as they kissed. Emmett felt the care and passion behind Gavin's kiss as their tongues intertwined and hot breath mixed together. 

Finally, after what could have been ten seconds or ten minutes, Emmett turned and grabbed the soap, but Gavin stepped up behind him and plucked the bottle from his hands. 

"May I?" Gavin asked softly, opening the bottle and pouring some soap on the washcloth. He lathered the soap and washed Emmett thoroughly, slowly, and affectionately, enjoying every moment of contact and exploration. Soon, Emmett pulled the washcloth from Gavin's hands. 

"My turn," he said, almost as if giving an order. They delighted in each other, running their hands all over each other, each shampooing the other's hair, and kissing each other romantically under the hot water and steam. They dried each other off with warm, fluffy towels, reveling in the perfection. 

Emmett grabbed the top of Gavin's towel, now around his hips, stopping him from walking away. Gavin froze, almost backing away, and Emmett felt it. 

"What?" Emmett asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Let's get dressed," Gavin answered shortly. Emmett saw it was not the right time to press the matter, and walked with Gavin to the closet. 

--

The next week passed uneventfully. Gavin seemed far away, causing Emmett's insecurities in himself to rise, wondering if he had done something wrong. Gavin still told Emmett that he loved him, but it didn't have the same drive behind it, and his kisses seemed almost distant and were always quite short. 

"What's the deal, Em?" Cassidy asked, looking into Emmett's thoughts through his eyes. 

"Gavin and I were kissing a few days ago, and when he walked away, I grabbed his towel around his hips to stop him. He seemed tense as soon as I did it. He hasn't been the same since."

"That's how Rick always used to stop him, by grabbing his waistband, whether playfully, seriously, at home, in publ--" Cassidy stopped in her tracks when she saw the looks of confusion and anger flash over Emmett's face simultaneously. 

"Who the hell is Rick?" Emmett asked.

"Oh, god. Why do I always have a knack for letting people in on something they don't know?"

"Cassidy, who the fuck is Rick?" Emmett asked again.

"Rick is Gavin's ex."

"What?" Cassidy saw that Emmett was crushed. Understandable, since this information should have come from Gavin when they had talked about previous relationships. "When?"

"A little more than eight years ago."

"Why?"

"Emmett, you--"

"Why, Cassidy?" Emmett persisted. Cassidy was silent for a moment before she went on.

"Gavin cheated on him," Cassidy said quietly, bluntly. "He had a big night, and he made a mistake. He's regretted it since."

"I'm so goddamned naïve." Emmett tortured himself, blown away. He knew Gavin had been around, but he had never imagined that he could do that to someone he cared about. 

"Emmett--"

"Do you have somewhere to be?"

"Yes, I do. How did you--"

"I'm not a dipshit, Cass, contrary to everyone else's beliefs. Please, go. I need some time before Gavin comes home," Emmett said bitterly. 

"For what it's worth, Em, he loves you. A lot," Cassidy said as she kissed his cheek. She showed herself out, shutting the door behind her. Emmett sat there for a few minutes, then slid his plate and glass to the floor. He heard them shatter just as he did at that moment, melting to the floor on the other side of the counter, resting his back against the cabinets. No sooner had he started sobbing when the door opened. 

Gavin saw the shattered plate and glass, but not Emmett, and was immediately alarmed. 

"Emmett?" Gavin called. Emmett tried not to hear the concern that was evident in Gavin's voice. Gavin heard Emmett's voice come over the counter. 

"At what point was it not clear that I was interested in a lifetime with you, and only you?" Emmett sobbed. Gavin stepped around the counter and saw Emmett's tear-streaked face. He was shocked by Emmett's admission, but also crushed by the scene in front of him. 

"Emmett, what's going on? What are you talking about?"

"I can't do it, Gavin. I just can't."

"No, oh, god, no. This isn't happening. Tell me what's wrong first so we can work it out."

"I just can't take the uncertainty and doubt, because I don't know if they will ever leave me. I'm better off without them." Now it was Gavin who got a little angry.

"Uncertainty? Doubt? This coming from a blind man who's made a life for himself and has faced real uncertainty. This isn't uncertainty, Emmett. You're just too goddamned stubborn and insecure to let me in and see I'm not leaving."

"Insecure? No, my blindness and life I'm secure with, unlike you and having someone grab your towel around your hips. Which one of those is harder to cope with? It doesn't sound to me like there's even a comparison. Or is it just that Rick isn't out of your system, and that reminds you of him? 'Not leaving.' Would you really stay, or would you just do what you did to him?" Emmett immediately felt a pang of regret at the words, but pushed it away with his fury. If he could have seen, he would have watched the surprise, and then darkness creep over Gavin's demeanor. 

"Fuck you," Gavin spat out. "If you haven't seen by now that I'm not interested in anyone but you, you never will. You think you're so damn sly that since you're blind, you can just shut everyone else out when you want; after all, it's only a blink away. And for what? For what fucking reason, Emmett?" Gavin shouted. 

"To hide your cowardice, that's why. Well, Emmett, I hope you're proud of yourself. Not only did you meet your match and someone who can stand up to you--and maybe the only one you'll ever meet--but you just succeeded in pushing him away." Gavin walked to the door, tears in his eyes. 

"Leave," Emmett said through his own tears. "Get the fuck out. You would've anyways; you people always do."

"You people? Is that all I am to you?" Gavin asked. "Yeah, I fucked up the last relationship I was in, and I regret it, but I would've stayed here, Emmett. The difference is that you didn't let me. You were almost open to me. Almost. But I don't want almost. I want all the way. Everyone deserves that." Gavin took a breath, and continued quietly. "Congratulations, Emmett. You've reduced me to nothing, and why? To prove a point? Why? I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted, everything you need. I'm even sorrier I'll never get my heart back. I never thought with you that I was wasting it."

"Wasting, huh? You're sorry you wasted it on someone like me?" Emmett continued quietly. "Just go, Gavin."

"I'm going," Gavin said, walking out the door. Emmett slumped to the floor, practically bawling. After a few seconds, he got up, ran out the door, through the halls, down the stairs, and into the lobby. 

"Gavin!" Emmett called. He dashed out the main doors and heard Cecelia's voice.

"Emmett--"

"Gavin!"

"Emmett?" Gavin said, turning around. He saw Emmett on the other side of the street, tears streaming down his cheeks, looking more than forlorn. Part of him wanted to walk away, but he stayed. "Emmett, what are you doing? Go back inside."

"Gavin, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I can't take back what I said in there, but I need you to know I'm sorry. Inside, I knew you weren't going to leave me. It's so hard for me to trust, though, without being able to look in your eyes. I overreacted, Gavin. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Oh, god, Emmett . . ." Gavin breathed. 

Without thinking, Emmett walked onto the street to run to Gavin. He heard Cecelia's voice. 

"Emmett Clark, get back here this instant--"

"Emmett, no!" Gavin cried, interrupting Cecelia. Gavin stared in horror, as Emmett didn't even hear the car coming.



Here to Stay Ch. 06



Gavin stared blankly ahead, holding Emmett's hand firmly between both of his. Susan walked in. 

"Gavin, it's ten o' clock. Visiting hours are over," she stated as gently as she could. Gavin looked up at the nurse. 

"I know. Thank you," he said, starting to tear up again. He had cried every day at those words for the past week. 

Susan left the room as Gavin stood and leaned over Emmett. He kissed Emmett's forehead. 

"Emmett, I love you," Gavin choked. "I'll be back tomorrow." He kissed Emmett's hand and left. 

Gavin arrived at the apartment and went directly to bed. He could still smell Emmett on the pillows and sheets as he lay down. He buried his face into the pillow, taking in Emmett's scent while sobbing. 

The doctors were hopeful. Emmett was in relatively good condition. He had hadn't broken anything, which the doctors attributed to his relaxed physical state when the car struck, but there was head trauma. He had taken two blows, one from the windshield of the car, and the other from the pavement. The doctors, however, were extremely satisfied with the recovery process anatomically. Regardless, Emmett remained in a coma, tearing at Gavin's heart. He jumped at every phone call, praying that it would be the hospital telling him that Emmett had awoken. 

Gavin tossed and turned all night. Although he was exhausted, he couldn't stay asleep for more than an hour. His mind was littered with thoughts of Emmett, as it had been for the past nights. Emmett's words ran through his head: 'I'm sorry . . . I knew you weren't going to leave me . . .' 

Gavin was back in the hospital at eight the next morning, sitting at Emmett's side. Susan looked at the sight. At first, Gavin had been too embarrassed to show his tears in front of anyone at the hospital. Now, however, he cried openly. He had dark circles around his tired, sad eyes and had stubble on his face. 

The first night, she had informed him that no one was permitted in Emmett's room except immediate family. Gavin had all but threatened to break into the room to see Emmett after telling her Emmett had no blood relatives. She had let him in the room after a couple of hours when she found out from an adamant Cassidy that Gavin was as close to family as Emmett had. He arrived just before eight every morning, like clockwork, and left at ten every night. He helped the nurses and doctors if he could, whether it was when they had to reposition Emmett to prevent blood clots and discomfort, or filling out papers and information. She admired his dedication to Emmett, and prayed that Emmett would pull through as she proceeded to another patient, glancing back one more time to ensure everything was okay. 

--

Cassidy walked into the hospital room, not expecting the sight that awaited her. Emmett lay on his back in the small bed with Gavin's large frame lying next to him. Gavin had somehow wrapped his arms around Emmett, his face nuzzled in the crook of Emmett's neck, and his legs dangled off the edge of the bed. Cassidy chuckled to herself as she closed Gavin's computer. 

"Always doing work for the restaurant," she said quietly to a sleeping Gavin. "Well, it's about time you actually got some sleep."

She sat in the chair in the room and drew designs for a client for the next two hours, oblivious to Susan's occasional checks on Emmett. A doctor finally walked in and talked to Cassidy, paying no attention to the couple on the bed. 

"Good afternoon," he said to Cassidy's familiar face. 

"Hello, Dr. Munich," Cassidy greeted. "How's our Sleeping Beauty?"

"Still completely stable, or seemingly so. The cranial swelling is almost completely gone, and his bruising is healing nicely, although he'll be sore for a while when he wakes up." He was interrupted by his pager screaming on his belt. Cassidy heard him curse as he ran out the door. 

Gavin stirred, and turned over to see what the commotion was about. 

"Hey," he said groggily to Cassidy, who had her sketches spread all over the floor. "You turned this place into a dump while I was asleep." He nodded at the papers strewn about. 

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one who has to get some work done here," Cassidy said, not even looking up from her drawing. 

"What kind of pansy-ass job is interior design and remodeling, anyways?" Gavin teased. 

"Said the gay man," Cassidy giggled. Gavin laughed. 

"Just because I plan on spending forever with this man doesn't mean I'm a fairy," he smiled toward Emmett. 

"Aw. That's cute," Cassidy winked. "Seriously, though, you know I'm teasing you about the whole pansy thing. You're as manly as guys come, minus the bad smell, unkempt hair, lack of style, dumbassedness . . . well, maybe not the dumbass--"

"Thanks, Cass. I get the idea." Gavin's happiness vanished as quickly as it had come when he looked back at Emmett. Gavin laced his fingers through Emmett's, kissing the back of Emmett's hand. 

"He'll wake up, you know. He's strong," Cassidy said, looking sympathetically into her friend's tearing eyes. "The doctor said 'when he wakes up' today, not 'if he wakes up'."

"I miss him, Cass. I miss him so much," Gavin said, cut off by another sob. Cassidy gathered her papers in a folder and stood up. 

"I'm going to grab a bite, and then I have to be to a client's house. I'll be back tomorrow. Hang in there, Gavin." She walked out, leaving Gavin alone with Emmett once more. Gavin looked down at Emmett's peaceful face affectionately, then bent down and kissed him lightly. Gavin realized just how much he had missed Emmett's lips on his for the past week. 

He repositioned Emmett, then crawled onto the bed, his legs hanging off the side again. He pulled Emmett's arms around him and sank into Emmett's chest as the tears continued down his cheeks. 

"Emmett, I miss you," he croaked. He lay in Emmett's arms for a few more minutes, then got up and did work until evening fell. After he had put his ledgers and computer away in his bag, he finished reading aloud to Emmett what he knew to be one of Emmett's favorite plays: The Importance of Being Earnest. 

Gavin looked up after part one to see a tear dripping from Emmett's eye to the pillow. He looked and saw that Emmett's pulse had quickened as well. Both, he knew, were signs of developing consciousness. 

"Thank God," Gavin said, brushing the tear off of his lover's face with one hand and clutching Emmett's hand with the other.

--

Emmett heard the steady pulse of the heart monitor and the various other hospital noises around him. As he became more aware, he had no recollection of why he was there, and was not calm enough to slow down and think about why. Tensing up, he began to panic, not knowing what to do. 

"Emmett," Gavin said softly. Emmett immediately relaxed at the sound of Gavin's voice and the feel of Gavin's hand in his, knowing that he was safe. "Forgive me, Emmett."

Emmett was overwhelmed, but finally completely aware. 

"Water," he rasped, hardly audibly. 

--

For the next hour or so, Gavin sat in the waiting room while Emmett was being examined, fed, questioned, and other various processes. While the doctor and Susan told Emmett what had happened and how long he'd been down as they ran the tests, Gavin was pacing for what seemed like days in the small, square room. 

Finally, Gavin was reunited with a much less confused Emmett. As Gavin walked in, looking at Emmett sitting up in the bed eating ice chips, he realized Emmett had lost a noticeable amount of weight, although he wasn't frail by any means. Gavin walked straight to Emmett and enveloped him in his arms, burying his face in Emmett's neck. 

"I missed you so much," he sobbed quietly, pulling at Emmett's heartstrings. "I love you, Emmett."

"Why did you ask me to forgive you earlier?" Emmett asked, surrounding a shaking Gavin in his arms. 

"I lied to you."

"About what?"

"I told you I was leaving. I can't leave, Emmett, not now," Gavin said softly. "I'm here to stay."

"Oh, Gavin," Emmett whispered. He ran his fingers through Gavin's hair, then down his face. "What's this? No product in your hair? And you haven't shaved in days. I can't believe Cassidy let you out in public." Gavin let a laugh escape amidst his tears. "I bet it looks damn sexy," Emmett said, laughing himself. 

Gaining seriousness, Emmett leaned down and smelled Gavin, his senses whirling. 

"I lied, too," Emmett said into Gavin's neck. "I never wanted you to leave. I was so scared, though." 

"I would be, too, if I were you. That sounds so cliché, but I mean it. I messed up back then, big time. I don't plan on ever doing it again. I was so drunk, and I wasn't aware of how many people I would hurt and the consequences of my actions. I can promise you, Emmett, I will never do that to you." 

"So that's why you don't drink? Aside from the fact you have a blind man to lead home almost every night," Emmett chuckled.

"Yes, that's why I rarely drink," Gavin said. Emmett smelled Gavin again, then broke the pause in conversation.

"I love you, Gavin."

"I love you, too. More than you know," Gavin replied. Their beautiful moment was interrupted by Cassidy dashing into the room. 

"Emmett!" she exclaimed, peeling a pissed-off Gavin off of him to give Emmett a hug of her own. She looked back to Gavin. "You live with him. You'll have plenty of time for that when he goes home," she winked. 

"I hate you, and you want to know why?" Gavin said. 

"Sure, why not?" Cassidy smiled. 

"It's impossible to stay angry at you." Emmett laughed, and Gavin treasured the sound. 

"It's true, you know," Emmett said to Cassidy. "How're you doing?"

"I should be asking you that. You skip reality for a week and then ask me how I'm doing? There's something wrong there." Cassidy paused. "Matt and Suzanne told me to tell you that they're happy you're among the living now."

"Where are they now?"

"Spain, for two weeks."

"I swear, they're on the longest honeymoon I've ever heard of," Emmett grinned. 

The three visited until ten o' clock, when another nurse arrived to tell them that visiting hours were over. Cassidy kissed Emmett on the cheek, said goodbye and walked out. When she was outside, she turned to the nurse. 

"Give them a moment alone," she suggested. 

"Why?" the young woman asked.

"Because they've been separated for a week and you're asking them to be separated again. That's really hard to do when they hold a piece of each other in their hearts, so just give them a minute."

"I'm not obligated to give anyone an extra minute, let alone a gay couple," the nurse spat out, malice in her voice. 

"Excuse me?" Cassidy said, smiling at the woman's audacity. "What's your name? I also want to know if you value your job here, because if you don't, go right on in there and kick him out. I'll let your supervisor know why you didn't give them an extra second. I'm sure they don't take kindly to intolerance toward patients." The nurse gaped at Cassidy, then walked away to the nurses' station. 

Inside, after Cassidy had walked out, Gavin sat beside Emmett on the bed, his hands on Emmett's shoulders. 

"I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning to take you home," Gavin said, pulling Emmett to him. 

"I don't want to spend another night without you," Emmett said, kissing Gavin's scruffy cheek. Gavin leaned in and kissed Emmett earnestly, then embraced him again. 

"I love you, Emmett."

"And I love you, Gavin," Emmett replied, kissing Gavin again. "Now go before Cassidy bitch-slaps the nurse out there. They've been going at it for a while." Gavin left reluctantly, and when he got to the door he turned around. 

"I'll miss you, Emmett," he said. "I'll miss you so much." 

Emmett tried hard not to cry, and managed, "I'll miss you, too, Gav," before Gavin left the room. Emmett spilled his tears then, ignoring the nurse that came in to check on him. He tried to sleep all night, but only dozed off before he would wake up again, missing the feeling of Gavin next to him.

Gavin faced similar problems that night, and barely slept for yet another night. Finally, after hours of tossing and turning, he relented to watching "Friends" reruns, eating popcorn, ice cream, and drinking soda, hoping for a distraction from the thoughts of Emmett whirling through his mind.

--

Emmett was going stir-crazy. Doctors and nurses doing last minute checks and Gavin filling out release papers was not what he wanted. He wanted to be alone with Gavin at home. Gavin felt similarly, frustrated by the seemingly endless lines to sign and fill out and paragraphs to read on the papers. At last, they were allowed to leave. 

Once at the apartment building, as soon as Gavin had pulled Emmett out of the car, Gavin scooped him up, carrying him up the stairs and into the apartment, kissing him the entire way. He lay Emmett down gently on the couch, then straightened. 

"Would a drink pique your interest?" Gavin asked.

"No," Emmett said, grabbing the first thing his hand came to on Gavin, which happened to be the bottom of Gavin's tee-shirt, and pulling on it. Gavin fell, catching himself with his arms on each side of Emmett. Emmett ran his hand along Gavin's face, then pulled him in for a desirous kiss. "You, however, do pique my interest."

Gavin pushed himself up with his arms and stood, sliding away from the couch. 

"There will be none of that. And you're probably sore."

"Hey, Mother Hen, I'm okay. I'm a big boy. I can tolerate being sore. Being without you for any longer, however, I cannot," Emmett said, reaching his hand out to Gavin. Gavin kissed it, got both of them a glass of water, and walked back over. He helped Emmett sit up, Emmett grunting from the pain. 

"You just need to take it easy, big guy," Gavin said, sitting down next to Emmett on the couch. 

"Yes, but I'm sure as hell not going to let that stop you from holding me," Emmett said, grabbing Gavin's thigh and pulling him closer. Gavin got up, disappointing Emmett, until he felt Gavin climb over the back of the couch and sink down behind him, his legs on each side of Emmett's. Emmett swung his legs up on the couch, and Gavin did the same as he grabbed Emmett's hands with his. Emmett sunk back into Gavin's firm chest, loving that it wasn't too hard or too soft. Emmett heard Gavin's shallow, measured breathing, and knew that he had fallen asleep, after only a few moments of relaxation. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were so tired?" Emmett whispered, kissing Gavin's hand. "I probably should have known you haven't slept while I was catching up on beauty sleep for a week." Emmett was touched that Gavin had thought of him before himself. Emmett took a deep breath, grimacing a little at the pain, then snuggled into Gavin, rested, and eventually fell asleep. 

--

Gavin sighed happily as he woke up. He became aware of Emmett's hands still in his and opened his eyes. Glancing to the side, Gavin saw the Emmett's head was resting back on his shoulder. He kissed Emmett's temple, again sighing contentedly. He opened his eyes again, this time laughing uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face as he gasped for breath. 

Emmett awoke to Gavin's body quaking with laughter. Emmett took his hand and ran it over Gavin's unshaven face, feeling the wetness from the tears. 

"What, pray tell, is so funny?" Emmett asked in a groggy tone.

"I'm sorry," Gavin managed, still laughing, but finally calming down. "I'm not quite sure why it's so funny, but I can't feel my legs." Gavin started laughing again. "I'm trying to move them, but I can't."

Emmett smiled at the sound of Gavin's laughter filling the apartment, never wanting it to stop. He got up carefully, relieving Gavin's problem. 

"Oh, geez," Gavin hissed, swinging his legs off the couch. 

"What now?" Emmett asked, standing above Gavin.

"Pins and needles," Gavin said. He sat for a few minutes, waiting for full feeling in his legs, then stood up. Emmett was in the kitchen, setting their water glasses in the sink, then turned around and leaned against the counter, facing Gavin when he heard him walk in. 

"Better now?" Emmett smirked.

"Much," Gavin replied, wrapping his arms around Emmett's waist and burying his face in Emmett's neck, kissing and nibbling lovingly. Emmett sighed, embracing Gavin. 

"I have to tell you, Emmett, you need a shower," Gavin joked, backing up. Emmett pushed him playfully, mocking offense, then pulled him in and kissed him. 

"I can think of the perfect person to do that job," Emmett whispered in Gavin's ear before biting Gavin's earlobe, eliciting a sharp intake of air from Gavin.

"Emmett, don't do that," Gavin said hoarsely. Emmett backed away, afraid he did something wrong. Gavin pulled him back in, kissing him again. "I have very sensitive ears."

"I'll keep that in mind," Emmett said, interrupted when Gavin picked him up gently, carrying him down the hall. "You know, you can't carry me everywhere now that I'm home. I've atrophied enough."

"Atrophied? Emmett, you have more definition than you did before, which was seemingly impossible before you lost the weight. Granted, you might have a slightly smaller muscle mass, but don't worry: I plan on working every single muscle group to exhaustion once you've fully recovered," Gavin hinted, setting Emmett on his feet in the bedroom. 

Emmett was turned on by Gavin's statement, so much so that as soon as his feet touched the ground, he pulled Gavin to him by the arm, threw him onto the bed, and practically leapt on top of him. He attacked Gavin's mouth, yanking Gavin's pants and underwear off quickly, leaving them around one of Gavin's ankles. Emmett undid his own pants, laying back down and grinding his groin into Gavin's, then kissed every inch of Gavin's neck, finally arriving at a sensitive spot behind his ear. Both of them were moaning as Emmett bit down lightly, sucking the skin. Gavin was taken by surprise, and let out a cry. Emmett felt Gavin explode beneath him, the sound and feeling so erotic that it pushed him over the edge. Emmett came, too, his seemingly endless amount of semen spilling between them. 

Emmett slumped down, relaxing on top of Gavin, smearing the liquid all over their torsos. Gavin took a breath and opened his eyes, exhausted. 

"Oh, my god, Emmett," he whispered. "That was amazing. Fast, again, but amazing. I'm not quite sure what I did to trigger that, but I sure am glad I did." Gavin tilted his head up from where it had rested on the mattress, giving Emmett a gentle, heartfelt kiss. "Thank you."

"Mmhmm," Emmett responded drowsily in reply, nuzzling his face into Gavin's neck. "I love you, Gavin." 

Something in the statement stirred Gavin to tears. He didn't know why he was crying, whether it was Emmett's admission, what they had just done, the fact that Emmett was in his arms again, or all three, but a tear made its way from the corner of his eye to the bed. 

"Gavin, what's wrong?" Emmett asked, feeling Gavin's shaky breathing.

"Nothing. Everything is perfect," Gavin whispered honestly, kissing Emmett again. "I love you, too. And look, you've made me into a crier. You're the only one who's ever made me cry this much, Emmett. I don't know why, but I love it."

Gavin kicked his jeans and underwear from around his left ankle. 

"Look, my pants weren't even all the way off," Gavin laughed, sitting up and pulling Emmett with him. 

"Come on, you, shower time," he said, looking at Emmett's light sprinkling of chest hair matted from their releases. He kissed Emmett sensually again, then they walked to the bathroom and stepped in the shower together, lost in one another.



Here to Stay Ch. 07



Emmett awoke, disentangling himself from Gavin gently, trying not to wake him. He rose from the bed after sitting on the edge for a moment to stretch. Quietly, he walked to the kitchen. Gavin woke up to the sound of the coffee grinder, and padded down the hall silently. 

Stepping into the kitchen, Gavin admired Emmett as he set the coffee grounds on the counter, waiting for the water to heat up before putting both in the French-press. Every toned muscle used to complete this task showed itself, and Gavin watched lovingly. It was hard for Gavin to believe that Emmett had been in the hospital only two weeks earlier. He pushed the thought from his mind, letting the past remain just that. 

"You are the only man in the world who makes the act of making coffee sexy," he said in a low voice. 

"I doubt that," Emmett said, turning around. Gavin walked up to him, picked him up and set him on the counter. He ran his hands down Emmett's chest and stomach, loving the feel of the short, light dusting of hair tickling his palms and fingertips. 

Emmett wrapped his legs around Gavin, pulling him against the counter and into a quick kiss. He wrapped his arms around Gavin's neck, and Gavin took full advantage of the position. He picked Emmett up and, while kissing him, walked toward the bedroom. 

"The coffee--" Emmett muttered half-heartedly, his nose rubbing against Gavin's. 

"Fuck the coffee," Gavin whispered gruffly, kissing Emmett deeply. 

"You're remarkably convincing, Mr. Adams," Emmett smiled, reeling from the kiss. He bent his head down for another short kiss before he had the feeling of weightlessness and the recognition that he was falling. He felt the bed embrace his impact, then Gavin on top of him. 

"You need to stop wearing these, because when you do, I just can't help myself," Gavin said, throwing Emmett's black underwear into the hamper in the corner. 

"I would think you'd have better control over yourself," Emmett teased, wrapping his arms around Gavin and grabbing his buttocks with both hands. Gavin pulled back and away after the comment cautiously. He walked into the closet, and Emmett wondered where he was going. 

"What are you doing?" Emmett asked. Before he knew it, Gavin had him in his favorite pair of lounge pants, and kissed him again. 

"Having control," Gavin said, lying on his back beside Emmett. Emmett couldn't decide whether he was relieved or disappointed, but decided he was more the former. He rolled over onto Gavin's chest, lacing his fingers through Gavin's, and stretching both of their arms up. He leaned down and kissed Gavin, wishing he could look into Gavin's eyes.

"I trust you, Gavin. I hope you know that," he said. Gavin felt a feeling of warmth as Emmett's eyes pierced into his soul. He could see the meaning behind Emmett's words reflected in the dark brown looking-glasses. 

"I do," Gavin said, kissing Emmett again, then realizing the significance of the words. He saw that Emmett had the same thought running through his head, told by his blush. Emmett rolled off of him, lying beside him on his side. 

"I know. I heard when you told me you loved me every night in the hospital," Emmett stated.

"What? When? But you were--" Gavin was puzzled. 

"Yes, I know, but I still heard. I also heard every time you read The Importance of Being Earnest. I don't know how, and I didn't realize it then. When I woke up, though, and I saw your script on the counter, I knew that you really did read that play to me in all of your silly voices."

"Emmett--"

"You're actually pretty good, you know."

"Emmett--"

"It was nice that your voice wasn't a dream, too, like I thought." 

"Emmett!" Gavin said, almost shouting, gripping the sides of Emmett's face with his hands while rolling atop him. Emmett flinched at the surprise sensation on his face. 

"What?" he asked quietly, almost fearfully. 

"I meant it when I said it, and I mean it when I tell you I love you now, too. Every time." Gavin kissed Emmett again, making no hurry of stopping. 

"Thank you for staying there. Cassidy told me this week just how much you were at the hospital. I really had no idea," Emmett said, trying not to get choked up and nervous about the question he wanted to ask. He kept hearing Gavin's words to Cassidy play through his mind: "Just because I plan on spending forever with this man . . ." His thoughts were interrupted by Gavin's heartfelt statement.

"I couldn't spend another minute away from you than what I had to," Gavin said, noticing the cloud covering the sun in Emmett's eyes. "What's wrong? What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," Emmett said, but before he knew it, he was pulled on top of Gavin, his face again in Gavin's hands. 

"Damn it, Emmett, that's bullshit and you and I both know it. We are not going to play these games again," Gavin said adamantly, still seeing distance in Emmett's eyes. To Gavin's surprise, Emmett relaxed on top of him, holding him tightly and burying his face into Gavin's naked chest. He inhaled deeply and let it out shakily, taking in his favorite smell for safekeeping. Gavin was puzzled now more than angry, and his tenderness arose again.

"What are you doing?" Gavin asked quietly. 

"I'm sorry. I'm saving this moment, your smell, the sound of your voice, just in case it doesn't happen," Emmett said.

"Just in case what doesn't happen? Emmett, what's wrong? What are you talking about?" Gavin asked persistently, running his hand reassuringly through Emmett's hair and down his neck and back while becoming more and more alarmed himself. 

"Did you mean what you told Cassidy at the hospital?" Emmett asked.

"Wait, when?"

"When you said that you planned on spending forever with me," Emmett managed to get out, wishing yet again he could look at Gavin. "When you told me you were here to stay."

Gavin drew Emmett up and enfolded him, kissing his cheek. 

"I meant every word," Gavin whispered into Emmett's ear. "I'm never walking out again, Emmett. You can scream and shout and holler and do whatever you please, but you won't be alone again unless you decide to off me." Gavin and Emmett both wanted to laugh at the last statement, but found it impossible to muster the sound. They clung to one another, both of them almost desperate for the reassurance. "That is, of course, if you want that, too." Emmett saw his opportunity, and took it. 

"I do," he breathed into Gavin's ear. Gavin turned his head for another kiss. Breaking away to breathe, Gavin looked at Emmett. 

"That's all I needed to hear," he said, kissing Emmett profoundly yet again. 

They lay there for the next fifteen minutes wrapped around one another. They had closed their eyes and were close to more sleep, until finally Emmett spoke. 

"Gavin?"

"Mmm?" Gavin mumbled.

"What color are your eyes?" 

The question took Gavin aback, and he blinked his eyes open to look down and over at Emmett, who was gazing up at him. 

"They're blue-green, but they're really light," Gavin said. 

Emmett smiled and put his head back in the crook of Gavin's neck. He got up, then, attempting to drag Gavin with him.

"Come on, you. We need to get some coffee and breakfast and get out of here," Emmett said, still pulling Gavin's dead weight.

"What about showering?" Gavin asked innocently.

"What am I going to do with you?" Emmett asked, shaking his head and smiling at the man he loved. 

"Well, you could take me with you to the shower for starters," Gavin replied to Emmett's rhetorical question, getting up. 

"My, you are persistent. Breakfast first, though," Emmett said, and they walked out of the bedroom together.



Here to Stay Ch. 08



"Emmett, you're a wreck," Cassidy told him as she shoveled her last large bite of salad into her mouth. 

"I know," he said distantly. His head swam, and the nerves that he had anticipated were already coming on full-force. 

"Sweetie, we both know that you're probably not going to be disappointed by the outcome."

"I'm nervous, Cass. We haven't even . . . all the way . . ."

"And look, he's still around, isn't he?" Cassidy asked rhetorically. "I think it's cute, actually," she went on, "that you want him to be the first to see the ring, besides me, of course."

"I'm glad it meets your approval," Emmett shot back.

"Aha! Finally the sarcasm I've been waiting for emerges," she said as the waitress took their plates. Emmett had hardly touched his salad. 

"Em, do me a favor," Cassidy said, leaning in. "Take a few deep breaths and try to relax a little. Everything will be okay." 

"Cass, you don't understa--"

"You love him, right?"

"What?"

"You love him, right?" she repeated. 

"With everything in me."

"Well, okay. And he loves you, more than you or I know. So wait! What's the problem? Oh, there really isn't one!" Cassidy exclaimed. 

"Cass, lower your voice," Emmett said. 

"Yeah, yeah," Cassidy giggled. 

"Thank you for all your help in this, Cass. I couldn't have done it without you."

"Hey, Em, that's what I'm here for."

Emmett paid the bill, setting the money in the tray and finding peppermint candy. He put one in his mouth, and he and Cassidy walked out the door. 

--

Emmett put on a nice shirt and what he knew to be Gavin's favorite jeans on before he started making dinner. Cassidy helped, and by the time they were done, the entire apartment smelled heavenly. Cassidy left once everything was prepared, and everything was staying warm in the oven. Emmett paced around the apartment for a while, checked his pocket one more time, and sat on the counter and took a deep breath. 

Gavin walked in a few minutes later to find Emmett still sitting on the counter. He looked comparable to a lost puppy, with a look of nervousness thrown in. Gavin saw the place settings on the counter and inhaled, touched by Emmett's generosity. 

"Mmm. Home smells so much better than the restaurant," Gavin said. Emmett heard the smile in his voice and was moved that Gavin called the apartment "home" more and more. 

Gavin walked over and wrapped his arms around Emmett, giving him a short kiss. 

"I missed you," Gavin said, the smile still playing on his face.

"I missed you, too," Emmett replied softly. They kissed again, this time a little longer. 

"So, what's cooking?"

"Cassidy helped, since I can't use knives all that well . . ." Emmett stammered, trying to process what Gavin had just asked. 

"That wasn't the question," Gavin laughed. He saw the marked stress on Emmett's face, making his own smile disappear. "Why don't we start with what's in the oven staying warm, and then make our way to what's wrong."

"Chicken with a lemon-herb sauce, steamed broccoli, seasoned potatoes: all my recipes."

"Yes, my man does have really good taste, even if simple," Gavin said, resting his head on Emmett's shoulder. 

"Yeah, being blind does that to your taste," Emmett said softly. 

"Why so quiet today?" Gavin asked. He pulled Emmett even closer. "I can think of something we could do that would make you get really loud."

Emmett stopped Gavin's kiss by putting his hands on Gavin's shoulders, holding him back. Gavin was alarmed. 

"Emmett, what's wrong? You look like you're about to get sick."

"Gavin, you know I love you, right?" Emmett asked. Gavin felt his stomach drop. 

"Yes," Gavin said, kissing Emmett, trying to ignore his stomach's flip-flopping. "I'm afraid of where you're going with that question, but I have to tell you: I'm addicted to your lips." He kissed Emmett again, slowly and deliberately. When they finally parted, both were speechless and Gavin stared into Emmett's eyes. 

"I love you, Gavin," Emmett breathed. 

"I know, and I love you," Gavin whispered back. 

"Gavin, I didn't prepare a little speech or anything like that because I thought the words would just come to me, and I'd say what I mean. I should've known better, though, because once again, you've left me completely speechless. I love you, Gavin, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and only you. I want to be yours and you to be mine." Emmett paused, taking a deep breath while digging the box out of his pocket and opening it. "Gavin Adams, will you spend the rest of your life as my husband? Or let me spend the rest of my life as your husband? Both? Crap."

Gavin looked into Emmett's eyes again and saw, through the frustration with himself, an everlasting love. He couldn't move his mouth or lips or tongue, making it impossible to speak. Doubt and fear fell over Emmett's face from the unexpected silence. 

"Oh, Gav, I'm sorry. This is too much right now, isn't it?" Emmett choked, on the verge of tears. He misunderstood the silence. 

"No, no, Emmett . . . I mean, yes, I will . . . oh, I can't talk either," Gavin said, pulling Emmett off the counter and to his feet. The two kissed with a passion that only the fewest lovers know. Gavin pulled Emmett into a tight embrace.

"I would love to be your husband, Emmett. Always and forever, love." 

Emmett rested his head on Gavin's shoulder in relief. They stood there, in the middle of the kitchen, holding each other, feeling the heat pass between their bodies. 

"Now," Gavin interrupted, backing away, "let's see those rings."

Emmett felt Gavin take the box from his hands, heard him open it, heard the hitch in Gavin's breathing, but nothing after that. More dreaded silence. 

"Emmett, how did you know?" Gavin whispered hoarsely. 

"That doesn't matter," Emmett said. "They're ours. I wish I could see them."

"Emmett, Cassidy suggested these, didn't she?"

"Gavin, if you don't like them, we can take--"

"Emmett," Gavin interrupted, grabbing Emmett's shoulders in his hands and looking down into Emmett's eyes, "I love them. I wouldn't trade mine for the world."

"To answer, yes, Cassidy helped me. She mentioned that when she got her necklace fixed in that shop three years ago, you mentioned this ring. She told me it was very specific, and that it had a significance, but I don't need to know that. It will be yours."

Gavin looked on the inside of the band and one had Gavin inscribed on it, and the other, Emmett. As if reading his mind, Emmett started speaking. 

"My name is on the inside of your band," Emmett told him. Gavin had never felt the emotion he felt in that moment: a mix of love, happiness, and the best part--loved. 

"Emmett . . . I don't know what to say--"

"Then don't," Emmett said, putting a finger on Gavin's lips. "You don't need to in order to kiss me again, do you?" Emmett asked, moving his finger and brushing Gavin's lips with his own. Emmett wrapped his arms around Gavin's neck, and Gavin took the chance and picked Emmett up, a hand on each side of Emmett's jean-clad butt. Emmett wrapped his legs around Gavin as he transported them to the bedroom. Gavin sat on the bed. Emmett knelt above Gavin with a leg on each side of his torso, nibbling Gavin's lower lip while unbuttoning his shirt. He ran his hands up and down Gavin's almost silky chest and stomach, before pinning Gavin's arms behind him by pushing the shirt off of his shoulders. 

"You like this, don't you?" Emmett asked, the mischief that should have been present in his voice being honest curiosity instead. 

"So much," Gavin gasped. 

"Maybe I'll keep your arms pinned, then," Emmett said, kissing and sucking the spot behind Gavin's ear that made him crazy. 

"That's not fair," Gavin moaned. Emmett felt Gavin's muscles flex, then heard the shirt rip like a piece of paper. Gavin's hands were immediately all over Emmett, flipping him onto his back as Gavin covered Emmett's body and mouth with his own. 

Gavin pulled back and sat on Emmett's thighs, trying to gently unbutton his shirt. Emmett felt Gavin's hands shaking against his chest. 

"Are you okay?" Emmett asked.

"Fuck this," Gavin muttered, ripping Emmett's shirt open. Emmett heard the buttons scatter all over the room as Gavin pulled him up to pull both the ruined shirt and his sleeveless undershirt off. 

"I liked that shirt, I'll have you know," Emmett tried to say seriously, but laughed despite himself. 

"I'm sorry," Gavin half-apologized as he started to kiss Emmett's chest. 

"It's a good thing I like you a lot more."

Emmett felt the heat of Gavin's tongue all over his chest and stomach, and then on his nipples. He cried in pleasure as Gavin bit down gently, running a hand up Emmett's leg to massage the crotch of Emmett's pants. 

"Gavin," Emmett sighed.

Gavin persisted, until Emmett found an ounce of strength. He rolled on top of Gavin and kissed, licked, nibbled, and sucked his way all over Gavin's face, neck, shoulders, chest, arms, and stomach. He gently undid Gavin's pants, removing them and Gavin's underwear, then continuing his assault down Gavin's body, skipping the area Gavin wanted pleasured most. 

"Emmett," Gavin said amongst his moans as Emmett kissed up his inner thigh. "I need you inside me, now," he demanded. 

"What?" Emmett said, so shocked by the statement that he stopped his journey over Gavin's body. Gavin pulled him up on top of him and kissed him almost aggressively. 

"I need you inside me."

"I know, I heard, but I just thought--"

"I'm flexible, not just a top. I need it now," Gavin interrupted, wrapping his legs around Emmett's waist and groaning from the pressure against his butt and balls. 

"Gavin, I don't know if I can . . . I mean, I don't know how, and I've never done this before--"

"Shut up and kiss me," Gavin demanded, pulling Emmett down. Gavin grabbed a bottle of lubricant out of his nightstand as Emmett tortured his neck. It slipped out of his hand and into Emmett's as Gavin screamed in pleasure when he felt Emmett's mouth around his penis. Emmett's greased finger soon found its way to Gavin's hole, and slipped inside easily. Gavin squirmed as Emmett slipped another finger inside, surprised at the warmth and softness. Emmett put a third finger in and stretched Gavin, the line between pain and pleasure driving Gavin quickly to his climax. 

"Emmett, stop," Gavin gasped when he could breathe again. 

"Did I do something wrong?" Emmett asked, concerned. "Did I hurt you?" Emmett wriggled his fingers in concern, causing Gavin to sigh in pleasure yet again. 

"God, no," he managed, as not to worry Emmett. "You're absolutely amazing. I just can't wait any longer."

"What?"

"Emmett, I want to come with you inside me. Please, I need you now," Gavin begged. Emmett withdrew his fingers, leaving Gavin with a feeling of emptiness. Suddenly, he felt very vulnerable until he felt Emmett rub his slick hands down his chest. Emmett leaned down on top of Gavin.

"How do I do this, Gav?" Emmett whispered into Gavin's ear.

"Just push in. I'm ready. I need it, now, please, Emmett," Gavin said, sounding on the verge of tears to Emmett. 

Emmett placed his penis at Gavin's entrance, suddenly having second thoughts. 

"Gavin, I need a--"

"Do you trust me?"

"What? Yes--"

"Then just push, Emmett."

Emmett kissed Gavin as he pushed gently. Gavin felt himself stretch around Emmett's girth, feeling the twist of pain with the satisfaction of fullness. Emmett sucked air into his lungs, overwhelmed at the pressure around him. He kept sliding in until he was completely embedded inside Gavin a few minutes later. Emmett stopped and practically collapsed as Gavin shifted beneath him, taken aback by the overpowering feelings and emotions. He kissed Gavin. 

"Oh, my god, Gav," Emmett sighed into Gavin's mouth. 

"I know," Gavin said, wrapping his arms around Emmett. 

Emmett started to thrust slowly and gently into Gavin, shifting to make them both more comfortable. He didn't expect Gavin's scream as his cock pounded Gavin's prostate, thanks to the change in angle. 

"Are you okay?" Emmett asked, stopping. 

"I'm more than okay, Emmett," Gavin sighed, trying his best to smile and talk through the plethora of sensations. "Keep going."

Emmett resumed his rhythm, feeling Gavin writhe beneath him. As they kissed, they shared bliss together, and both of them realized the difference now between sex and making love. Gavin arched his back, rubbing against Emmett's chest as they kissed again, only stopping to gasp for air. Emmett moved faster and faster as they both neared their climax, reaching between their bodies to grab Gavin's penis and stroke it. 

"Emmett . . ." Gavin said, moaning with his release. He tightened around Emmett, sending him over the edge. Emmett came inside Gavin, groaning into Gavin's mouth his pleasure as he felt Gavin's release smear as they rubbed together. 

After his mind-blowing climax, Emmett rested down on Gavin. He began to remove himself, but Gavin stopped him. 

"No," Gavin said, enjoying the fullness that accompanied the love they shared. They were silent for a while, kissing, holding, and caressing each other. 

"Gavin, that was incredible," Emmett said softly after he drew back from a lazy, passionate kiss. 

"You are way too good at this for that to be your first time. I think you were pulling my leg," Gavin smiled, opening his eyes and looking at his lover. He saw the alarm on Emmett's face. 

"Emmett, you were that amazing. I've never had anything like that," Gavin admitted. 

"I'd say the same back to you, but I think that's a given." Emmett asked, smiling and kissing Gavin again. He pulled away, sniffing the air. 

"Gavin, do you smell smo--Shit!" Emmett exclaimed. "Dinner!" Emmett rolled away while Gavin started laughing. 

"I'm glad you think it's funny that we're about to set off the fire alarms," Emmett said, not knowing whether he was angry or amused. Gavin continued laughing as he got up, grabbed Emmett's pants off the chair, and wrapped his arms around Emmett. 

"Don't be mad," Gavin pleaded. "Besides, are you going to go naked to the kitchen with all of those windows in the family room?"

Emmett felt his favorite pair of lounge pants against his hands. 

"Thank you," Emmett said, putting them on and giving Gavin a chaste kiss, trying to run into the kitchen. Gavin grabbed Emmett's waistband and held him from going out of the room as he slipped on a pair of shorts himself. 

"Where do you think you're going? I'm not letting you burn your precious piano hands on some burnt food," Gavin said, passing under the waistband and grabbing Emmett's ass while pulling him close for a long kiss.

They walked into the slightly smoky kitchen, turned off the oven, opened the windows, and started the ceiling fan in the living room. After opening the last window, Emmett turned.

"Well, at least it wasn't bad enough that the fire department had to come and interrupt our first time," Emmett half laughed. 

'Our first time' rang in Gavin's ears, making him feel a fulfillment he had never known before. He sat on the couch, pulling a nearby Emmett down with him. Emmett leaned back against Gavin's chest as Gavin wrapped his arms around his man. He held Emmett tightly, fighting the tears that were trying to make their presence known. 

"I can't wait until I can call you my husband," Gavin said.

"I can't either," Emmett replied, sliding over and turning to put his back against the back of the couch, draping an arm and a leg over Gavin's body. 

"I love you, Emmett," Gavin whispered.

"I know you do," Emmett said, smiling, giving Gavin a kiss. "And I love you, too."

They closed their eyes after enjoying another passionate kiss, falling asleep, each wrapped in the other's arms.