50 comments/ 71508 views/ 169 favorites Her Brother Ch. 01 By: tamgreen My girlfriend had the sexiest mouth. Nice smooth lips, natural deep pink, full and soft with an impish little smirk lingering perpetually at the edges even when her expression was neutral. She also had gorgeous eyes - warm hazel with little flecks of green and gold. I thought I could die for those eyes. I was sure there was no butt in the world cuter than hers - round, perky, perfectly grabbable. When she wore something snug, I had a hard time tearing my eyes off of that cute behind. Even her name gave me pleasant shivers. Lisette. Lisette Labelle. Her family was from Montreal. She'd moved here as a child and had just a faint whisper of a Francophone accent. I didn't know more than half a dozen words of French, but Lise told me once that "la belle" means "the beautiful", and for a long time I had a habit of calling her "Lisette the Beautiful". She certainly was. We met in college. It was easy to hook up then, easy to get along. We spent so much time embroiled in classes and papers and part-time jobs to pay tuition that we had to pack as much fun into our limited free time as we could manage - at least, that was Lisette the Beautiful's philosophy, and I would have agreed with nearly anything that came from her irresistible lips. She took me to friends' parties, to pubs and clubs, anywhere loud and boisterous and alcohol-fuelled. I was never a party kind of a guy, nor was I much into drinking culture, but I would have followed Lisette to the ends of the earth, and getting a bit tipsy made it easier to cut loose and be social in the way she wanted me to be. I would have liked to stay in and cuddle, maybe watch a few good movies, but she was restless, wanting to get out into the world and splurge after the drudgery of classes and paper-writing, and thought movies were antisocial. I suppose she never really asked me what I wanted to do, but I didn't mind. She was radiant and full of life, and I was unremarkable in every way possible. I was a fade-into-the-backdrop sort of guy. There was nothing special about me, nothing exciting, and I wasn't much to look at either. We were the sort of couple about whom people would say, "How did a schlub like him manage to score a knockout like her?" I had no idea how I managed it, but I was thankful every day she wanted me by her side. I wore whatever she wanted to dress me in and cut my hair according to her recommendations. I suppose I became more socially acceptable thanks to her influence. My girlfriend let me have sex with her, and for this I felt undeservedly privileged. I was a virgin when we met, and had always considered myself a loser. We didn't do it often, but it made the times we did do it all the more special. Sex with Lisette certainly wasn't like it was in the movies or on the Internet. She didn't touch me a lot, or put her mouth on me. She mostly just lay back, closed her eyes, and waited for me to finish. I never complained - how could I? I was lucky just to be able to see her naked, and she even let me put my penis inside her. I never expected it to be like it was in porn. Everyone knows that stuff is completely unrealistic, and I had also heard that in real life, sex isn't nearly as big a deal to girls as it is to guys. I thought she was sweet to indulge me. My family never liked her, nor did most of my friends. This should, perhaps, have been a red flag for me early on, but I assumed no girl would ever please my family. As for my friends, I saw less and less of them, and instead ended up with Lise's friends most of the time. A couple of my oldest friends once took me out for coffee just to warn me, intervention style, that Lisette was a "user" and a "pathological narcissist" - that she only kept me around because I worshipped her. Instead of considering whether there might have been truth to this, I felt deeply hurt on Lisette's behalf and parted ways with buddies I'd had since primary school. Lise told me I'd done the right thing in cutting the "poison" from my life, and I believed her. I couldn't tolerate people speaking critically of my girlfriend. I thought she was an angel, and she made me feel like the luckiest guy in the world just to be near her. I closed my ears to dissent. When she picked out all my clothes and styled me according to her taste, I thought it was love. I wanted to be her toy to dress up. When she audited all of my homework, I thought it was love. She wanted me to get good grades so I would have a more promising future. When she told me what to eat or what not to eat, and put me on an exercise program, I thought it was love. She cared enough to help me be healthy, and it was true I needed to lose a few pounds. I wasn't crazy about what I saw in the mirror. Maybe, with Lise's help, I could be a better man. There was a lot I could stand to improve about myself, and she helpfully pointed out all the ways in which I could do so. We graduated at the same time - her degree was in Communications, and mine was in Microbiology - and she straightaway picked out an apartment for us to live in. We'd never discussed moving in together, but of course I wanted to. She had been doing an internship with a Public Relations firm, and they hired her on full-time straight out of school, so she felt very secure and pleased with herself, as she had every right to be. I was fine with her picking out all of our furniture and everything. She was the one with the impressive, high-powered career. I had a humbler job, working in Quality Assurance for a factory that produced bottled water and other assorted beverages. Lise liked to tease me that I had the most boring job in the world. She was probably right, but I enjoyed it well enough - I found the work to be tranquil and strangely rewarding. I supposed that meant I was just a boring kind of a guy, and was all the more grateful to be with such a dynamic, charismatic woman as Lisette. I had thought our life together would be bliss. She was a natural leader, and I was content to follow. It seemed we complemented each other - yin and yang. It was, of course, not quite as blissful as I had envisioned. At first I blamed myself, and Lisette probably blamed me too. She caught me watching porn once, during the first two weeks of our cohabitation. I knew she wasn't comfortable with porn, and I felt guilty every time I watched. I was feeling wound up - we hadn't had sex once since moving in together, and I had been looking forward to doing it in our own bed we shared. She simply hadn't felt like it. Instead I caved and turned to the Internet. "How could you do this to me?" she shrieked, bursting into tears instantly. "How could you?!" "Lise... I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling as bad about making Lisette cry as if I'd run over a kitten with my car. "It's cheating! Don't you understand it's cheating?" she sobbed. "You're being unfaithful to me!" I shook my head slowly, not necessarily to deny her judgment of the situation, but simply at a loss and bereft of words. She thought I was arguing with her. "Yes, you are!" she insisted, pulling my iPad out of my hands and pointing at the screen. "You're cheating on me with this disgusting, fake slut! Is that who you want me to be, Cody? Is that the sort of girlfriend you expect? Some kind of pornstar with fake boobs who will perform for you, and slaver all over you like a dog?!" "No - no!" I replied quickly, my voice trembling with panic. "Sweetie, you're perfect. You're the most perfect girl I could ever ask for. You're so much better than I deserve. Everyone says so, and I know it's true. I'm weak, and I'm sorry. I screwed up. I'm so sorry I hurt you. Lise... please forgive me. I love you. I love you so much." She gritted her teeth and flung my iPad across the room. It hit the corner of our mantelpiece, and a network of cracks spread across the screen. "Bastard! How can I love you right now, when you take me for granted like this?" She sniffled noisily and wiped at her eyes, smudging her makeup. "How can you expect anything from me? Forgive you, really? I don't know, Cody. I need to think seriously about this. I need some time." I hung my head, paralyzed. The thought of losing her was unbearable. I would be so alone without her. I would be nothing and nobody, without a home or friends or even an identity. "I... that's fair," I stammered. "I guess I don't have much right to ask forgiveness. Please... I don't want to hurt you. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you, I'll do it. I promise. Just tell me what to do." She sighed and sobbed a few more times, pacing back and forth across the room. "I'm going to have to think about that. And you should be thinking about it too. I expect you to be a better man." "I will," I promised. "I'll be better." I bettered myself as best I could. I didn't complain once about my broken iPad, deciding it was fair for me to lose my tablet privileges. I made breakfast and dinner for Lisette every day from then on - all of her favourite healthy meals. I brought her roses every few days. I left her little love notes, and bought her cute trinkets. I did everything I could to show my affection and appreciation for her. I began to feel as if I were simply dropping stones into the Grand Canyon of her disappointment. Still, doing anything else was unthinkable. I had screwed up, and I had to put in my time. A month in, we still hadn't had sex. I felt guilty even about masturbating. I took to doing it whenever she went out in the evenings with her friends, or in the bathroom at work over my lunch breaks, as I couldn't even get privacy from her in the shower - she might wander in at any time, and she thought it was suspicious if I locked the bathroom door. I felt like a cheater and a failure every time, but I still seemed to have to get off on a daily basis. If I didn't get some kind of sexual release, I was even more miserable. Things did get a little better. She stopped bringing up the porn incident, and at least started giving me little hugs and kisses again. I would have given my right arm to simply have a nice, long cuddle, but she wasn't ready for that much touching. When I came home from work one day, she was talking on the phone in French, which I guessed meant she was talking to a family member. I knew she had strained relations with her family, and she seemed a little concerned, so I became concerned along with her. I sat next to her on the sofa and offered a hand to hold, but she brushed me off. I sat patiently and waited for her to need me. After she hung up the phone, she turned to me, licking her lips. Such pretty lips. How was she so beautiful? Even now I felt dizzy, gazing at her. "So my baby brother is going to move in with us for a while," she said. "Oh... what?" I stammered, taken aback. "Well, not 'baby' - he's eighteen now," she clarified. "I'm not happy about it either, but mama's moving in with her new boyfriend and doesn't have room for him anymore. He's going to school here, so it's a convenient place for him. Hopefully he can find a good job and afford to live on campus maybe, but not yet." She sighed grievously and rolled her eyes. "I'll have to be substitute mama. He might be handful, so be prepared. We're going to need to be strict with him." I stared down at my hands, remembering how she'd talked vaguely about her brother in the past. I had a strong sense he was a bit of a troublemaker. "Oh. Lise... you're really sweet to take on this responsibility," I said softly. "Where can we put him, though? This place isn't that big, and we haven't got a spare bedroom." "Well, obviously he'll have to sleep here on the sofa!" she exclaimed irritably. She grabbed a notepad and a pen from the coffee table. "I'm going to have to make a new budget." I smiled a little. "You're so good at that." "Speaking of budget, you didn't buy lunch today, did you?" My face fell, and my posture followed. "Yeah... I went out for a sub," I admitted softly. She dropped her pen and frowned at me. "What kind?" "Meatball," I mumbled. She looked me over disapprovingly. "Oh, Cody, honestly! How can you put such gross stuff into your body? Look at you - you've already put on some pudge since graduation. Meatball subs aren't going to do anything about that." She poked one of my love handles. "I know," I sighed, leaning on my knees. "I was stupid." "I don't want to have to buy you new clothes. Things are going to be tight for a while, with Julien around. You have to think about consequences, for heaven's sake!" I nodded. "Yes. I should know better. I'll make my own sandwiches from now on." "You should be eating salads more. If you must have sandwiches, whole wheat bread only, no mayo, and I'm not buying you any deli meats. Those things are packed with chemicals. They'll kill you." I nodded again. "Healthy sandwiches only. I promise." "You know I care about you a lot, right, Cody?" I looked up, and she was smiling at me. That smile was such a rare treasure. Her eyes, they were so gorgeous! I grinned like a moron. "I know, sweetie. You take such good care of me." She kissed my cheek, and I felt the warm tickle of it lingering there long afterward. Every little bit of affection from her was a precious gift. Lisette's brother arrived a few days later. It was a Friday, and Lise had taken the day off to help him move in. I was uneasy as I drove home from work. Having a troubled young stranger sleeping on our sofa was an uncomfortable thought. I liked my privacy, and Lisette hadn't even discussed the matter with me before agreeing to let her brother stay. Wasn't it our apartment, not just her apartment? I shook these thoughts from my head. Lisette was showing kindness to the most vulnerable member of her family - how could I be so selfish as to resent her for that? I stepped inside our apartment and neatly hung up my keys and my coat as I regarded the unfamiliar pair of well-loved-looking Chuck Taylors nesting amongst our shoes. Immediately a very 'Lisette' type of thought occurred to me - he needed some new shoes, or at least to give those a good cleaning. It was a surreal sort of moment, as I recognized very quickly that I would never have had such thoughts without Lise's influence. In fact, I used to wear a terribly worn but comfortable set of sneakers when we first met, and it took her no time to remark upon them. When I first realized that a gorgeous girl was paying attention to me, I had been more than willing to throw away my favourite shoes to please her. After leaving my sensible work shoes next to our guest's high tops, I entered the living area, following the sound of two voices chatting away in French. They paused their conversation and looked up at me with twin pairs of warm hazel eyes. I was breathless. The resemblance between Lisette and Julien was startling. Julien was taller, thinner, paler, and with slightly shorter hair and a stronger bone structure, but he certainly had Lisette's gorgeous eyes. His mouth, too, was like hers - soft, full lips with a natural pink blush, and a hidden smirk lingering at the edges. I looked at Lise's mouth, and then her brother's. Somehow, in some way I could not identify, his mouth was even more beautiful. He looked like someone who could trigger an apocalypse if he smiled, and so he carefully did not. I felt dopey standing there, speechless, staring at a teenage boy, but he drew my eyes like a bright splotch of colour on a white landscape. His elegant, youthful features concealed far more than a smile. There was a whole world behind them, rigidly suppressed. I was slightly in awe of him, and simultaneously wary and tense. "Hi," he said at last. "Hi," I echoed. My eyes slid over to Lise, who was giving me one of her Looks - one I knew well. It was the Look she gave me anytime she expected me to act like a normal person and be sociable. "Pleased to meet you," I added at last, moving closer to him and extending a hand, though these things had never come naturally to me. "I'm Cody." "Julien," he replied. His hand was thin, soft, and cool, and gripped mine with the delicate caution of unfamiliarity. "Um... thanks for, like... letting me stay." I almost told him it was his sister he should be thanking, but did not truly want him to think I was opposed to his presence. "It's okay." I shifted from foot to foot, glancing at Lisette again. She seemed to be disapproving in some aspect, but I could not guess what she was expecting of me. "Why don't I get started on dinner?" I suggested, needing to fill the silence. "You two can... keep on catching up." Julien glanced between the two of us. "Um, you guys... don't have to feed me, or anything. I don't wanna be a mooch - I can fend for myself." "Nonsense!" Lisette assured him. "I know if you're left to your own devices, you'll eat nothing but fries and gravy, or pizza. None of that filth in our household, right, Cody?" She went on without waiting for me to respond: "There's nothing but good, nutritious food in this household, and we're going to keep you healthy and fed as long as you're with us. It's really no more work to cook for three than for two." I nodded. "Sure. I'll just...." I let my sentence trail off as I retreated into the kitchen. The ambient noise of them continuing their conversation in French lulled me into a haze as I prepared dinner. There wasn't room enough in our little apartment for a proper kitchen table, but there was an island that, besides providing extra counter space, served as a separator between the kitchen and living room, and as an eating area. It had room for exactly three chairs, side by side. I felt like an outsider as we sat there in a row, with Lisette in the middle. They spoke mostly in French, though I realized belatedly that Lise was doing at least 75 percent of the talking. Julien was soft-spoken, kept his sentences brief, and seemed to give away little emotion in his voice, whereas Lisette was dramatic and her tone regularly climbed up to boisterous excitement and descended to bitterness or vitriol. Every time she took on that low, disapproving tone, I felt a knot form in my stomach. I had prepared Lisette's favourite rosemary chicken, with asparagus and yam on the side. Keeping in mind that Julien especially enjoyed fries, I'd cut the yams into little wedges, tossed them in oil and salt, and baked them to vaguely resemble fries. He devoured them with lots of ketchup, but only picked at the rest. Lisette turned to me suddenly in the middle of their conversation. "You can get my brother a part-time job at your work!" she said brightly. Without waiting for a response, she turned back to Julien: "Cody's job is pretty lame, but he likes it there. He can get you a position doing some general labour or something." I cleared my throat slightly. "I'm not sure of that, actually." She turned to me again. "What? Of course you can! Come on, Cody - we need you to do your part here." "Really, don't..." Julien mumbled. "It should be no trouble at all!" Lise continued. "Sweetie," I said patiently, "I'm just one of the guys that works in the QA department...." "I know what your job is - I'm not an idiot!" "No, I didn't mean.... That is, I just have no say over these things. I can't just... get people jobs." "Jeez, Cody! I understand you're not the hiring manager!" She rolled her eyes with intense exasperation. "Is it so beyond you to find the guts to talk to your boss or something?" I placidly chewed on an asparagus tip and swallowed before responding. "I don't know, Lise. I'm not sure my boss even knows who I am. I don't really, um... I don't think it would be appropriate." "I swear!" she huffed. "You boys are so helpless!" Julien and I met eyes briefly behind her back, and then returned to our plates. "I can handle myself," he said softly after a few minutes of silent eating. Her Brother Ch. 01 Lisette responded in French, something that sounded dubious. She received a phone call as we finished up and retreated to our bedroom to take it. A friend was apparently having a crisis, and I knew Lise loved solving other people's problems, so I expected her to be on the phone a while. I began clearing away the dishes. Julien quickly moved his plate to the sink so I wouldn't have to. "Sorry... sorry I didn't eat much," he mumbled as he noticed me noticing the food left on his plate. "Not that hungry I guess." "It's okay." I glanced at him curiously, wondering if he really wasn't hungry or just didn't like the food. I wasn't the sort of person to ask. "I can help with dishes...?" he offered. I shrugged. "There isn't much. I can put most things in the dishwasher. I've got a few pots and pans to wash by hand though. You can dry if you like." "Sure." After loading the dishwasher, I rinsed the pots and pans as best I could and then filled the sink with soapy water. I found washing dishes strangely comforting. Something about soaking my hands in hot water, perhaps. Julien stood next to me at the drying rack, ready with a clean towel. "The sweet potatoes were really good," he finally remarked after a few minutes of silence. "Oh... I'm glad." I smiled hesitantly, but he kept his eyes down. I was curious about what he'd been through, that Lisette warned me he was going to be a handful. He certainly didn't come across as some kind of hoodlum. He wore a baggy black t-shirt with a classic Batman logo on it, and slim fitting black jeans with slashes across the knees. His hair spilled down almost to his shoulders, sometimes falling in front of his eyes, and he gave a little toss of his head occasionally to get it out of his way. "I can make them anytime you like," I added, and then paused, still wondering if he didn't care for the rest of the dinner I'd made. It was starting to bother me - not because he wasn't being forthright, but because he was our guest, and I wanted to be a good host. "If you let me know the sorts of things you like for meals... I can make them for you. We can... you know... compromise." He licked his pretty lips and thought about this. "You always do the cooking?" It was my turn to take a moment to think. "I guess so. Most of the time we've lived here it's just been a habit I fell into. I make breakfasts and dinners. We take care of our own lunches. Lise does the shopping - maybe you could go along with her one day and pick out things you like. I'm sure she'll let you know if she won't allow it." I chuckled lightly. He released a sharp sigh. "She's like... the fun police." I suppressed a laugh at this. "I wouldn't exactly put it that way. She... cares about her boys." He looked up at me with an expression that was so raw and piercing I nearly lost my breath. "I think she thinks everyone in her life would go to hell in a handbasket if she weren't around." He swallowed hard. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down. "Our mom was always the same. I'm so tired of it. Dad was too, and he took to drinking and left years ago. I mean... I don't want to sound like I'm being critical of you for liking her or anything. There are all kinds of people in this world, and there's someone for everyone. But my mom drives me crazy, and so does my sister. I'm not going to stay here long if I can avoid it." I had no idea how to process or respond to any of this, so I just stared into the suds for a little while. "I'm sorry," he whispered after a minute or two. "That probably sounded mean." "No... no, it's okay," I said cautiously. "You can be honest. It's... not as if I don't understand your point of view. Lise has to have everything 'just so'. I guess I'm just... yunno... fine with that. I'm not that opinionated. And we have a good life. She keeps me motivated to take care of myself. I might be living in a cardboard box, weeping and covered in my own filth if I didn't have her." I let out a monosyllabic laugh. "I'm easygoing. I match well with, uh... dominant personalities." He looked down at the pan he was drying for a while. He took a few deep breaths, held them, letting them out again after pausing. He seemed like he wanted to say something, but was having trouble speaking up. "Hmm?" I prodded gently as if he'd said something and I hadn't quite caught it. He shook his head, finished drying the pan, and clutched at the dish towel. He took another deep breath, and looked up at me again with that aching, raw expression. "I just... I mean...," he began, twisting the towel in his hands. He lowered his voice to a soft whisper and leaned slightly closer to me. "I know I've only known you for like... an hour and a half. But... I think you're really nice. Too nice, maybe. I... I just don't like the way she talks to you. To us. That's all. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He dropped the towel into the empty dish rack and fled the kitchen. I continued cleaning up, occasionally looking across the island to watch him go about his business. He settled on the sofa and spent some time sorting through his possessions. He had two cardboard boxes, a small suitcase, and an ancient-looking but sturdy backpack. He dug through the backpack, rooting around for something specific. The something was his phone charger, and as he pulled it out, a fluffy teddy bear briefly popped out with it, its leg tangled in the cable. He quickly grabbed it, stuffing the little fellow back in his bag. He glanced across at me, noticed I had witnessed his bear, and blushed. But I loved that he had a stuffed bear in his backpack - I absolutely adored it. I smiled widely at him, and his expression softened a little. I thought he might smile back at me, but the closest I saw was a little twitch of one side of his beautiful mouth. Ten minutes later, while I was busying myself with preparing a lunch for tomorrow, I heard a crinkle of plastic cellophane from the living room, and moments later, Julien crept up behind me. I turned to face him, and he was holding his hand out, palm up. Upon it sat three Oreo cookies - an offering. I glanced toward the bedroom; I could hear Lisette, still embroiled in conversation. I felt a strange tingle of exhilarating rebellion wash over me, and I grinned uncontrollably as I reached out to accept the sweet contraband. "Thank you," I whispered. He placed a finger to his lips, and smiled behind it, ever so slightly. I almost dropped my cookies. He was so beautiful. Julien the Beautiful. ========== I reached for Lisette as she was undressing for bed. "I love you," I whispered. "Love you too," she yawned, shrugging me off and crawling under the covers. I joined her, and reached for her again. "I miss you." "What? I'm right here." "I know. But we haven't... you know.... It's been a long time." "What's the matter with you?" she hissed, pushing me away. "My brother's in the next room!" "We don't have to... I mean...." I trailed off, sighing. "Could we just... cuddle?" "I've got a lot on my mind right now, Cody. I'm not feeling very touchy-feely. Please respect my personal space." "Of course... of course. If you need space, I respect that." She fell asleep quickly, and I lay there awake for some time, hugging my pillow. I knew I was supposed to be "the man", but I felt needy, affection-starved, and fragile. An hour went by and I still couldn't sleep. I was almost tempted to masturbate, but I knew she'd wake up and be offended. I finally got up and crept out into the main area of our apartment, dressed in a t-shirt and boxers. I moved very quietly so as not to wake Julien, intending to get a glass of milk, but when I glanced at the sofa I realized he wasn't there. I looked over at the bathroom, and it was unoccupied. The door to the balcony was slightly ajar. I went over and pulled it open, slipping outside to join Julien, who was leaning against the railing with something clutched to his chest. He quickly drew a wrist across his face as I stepped through the doorway, but it was obvious he'd been crying. I felt immediately guilty at having barged in on a private moment. There was no way I could undo my intrusion, however, so I stayed and tried to make the best of it. "Sorry," I whispered, leaning against the rail beside him. "Are you okay?" He shrugged, crossing his arms tightly over the object pressed against his chest, which I realized was his teddy bear. I felt like melting. Whatever harsh impression Lise had of her brother, I could see that he was only a boy, and a sad one. "Sorry," I reiterated. I could feel the sorrow radiating off of him, and it worsened my existing fragility. I had to do something for him, but I didn't know why he was crying. I looked out over the cityscape, and all its twinkling lights beneath the dark canopy of night sky and barely visible stars. It was always a tranquil sight for me. "I come out here sometimes... when I can't sleep," I whispered. "It's crazy to just... look at all those thousands of windows out there, and think... every human experience is happening in front of us. People out there are laughing, crying, eating, sleeping, dancing, making love, being born, dying, hurting each other, meeting for the first time.... I dunno, I just find it really... calming. Maybe that sounds weird." He sniffed. "No. No... it's... really nice. Kinda beautiful." He paused and squeezed his bear tighter. "Really beautiful, actually." I let the silence sit for a few minutes. I wondered if he was worried about school, about his future, about his strained relations with his family. I wondered if he was upset about something to do with his mother and her boyfriend, or if Lisette had made him feel bad, or if he'd gotten his heart broken. My instinct was pointing toward the latter. I spoke up again, hesitantly: "Do you miss someone?" He nodded slowly, and then faster. I heard him gulp back a sob. He needed a hug... badly. We both did. I didn't even think about putting my arm around him. It was just the right thing to do. Unlike Lisette, who often showed no reaction to an affectionate touch, or even pushed me away, Julien responded instantly as if we were a pair of magnets, and he'd only been waiting for a touch to activate. He shifted his weight to lean against me instead of the balcony rail. A moment later, he turned his whole body toward me, and I turned to him, and he was pressed fully against me, his head on my shoulder. Both of my arms went around him, squeezing him just as he squeezed his bear. I let out a long breath. Empty parts of me suddenly felt filled. Needs I had only marginally realized had been aching within me were being met. Years ago I had been in a car accident and spent some time in the hospital, hooked up to a morphine drip. I remember pressing that button and the rush of blissful ease, weightlessness, and relief from pain that had followed. Julien was a shot of morphine to me. I had no hesitation about holding him. I had no hesitation about stroking his back, about pressing my cheek against the top of his head, and inhaling the scent of him. His hair smelled like apples. He released his grip on his teddy bear and wrapped his arms around me instead. The bear stayed sandwiched between our chests, insulating the pounding of my heart. Julien clutched me tightly as he cried on my shoulder, his fingers pressing into my back. "I've been really lonely," he whispered against my neck. "Me too," I whispered back, not fully understanding how true it was until I'd said it. "Me too!" He was shivering. It was a bit chilly out tonight, but maybe that wasn't why. I continued to stroke his back. The way he held me with need was possibly the most perfect moment I had ever experienced. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Don't be. Honestly. Don't." We continued to hug each other, and I felt the tension in his skinny body gradually ease, until he just felt warm and pliable in my arms. We rocked a little, getting to know each other, bonding in silence. In that moment, I could not remember what it felt like to experience worry. I gently tousled his hair, which was the same chestnut colour as Lisette's, and every bit as soft. Softer, even, since it wasn't full of assorted styling products. "How can you be lonely?" he asked suddenly. I sighed, and inhaled the sweet scent of his hair again. "I guess sometimes two people can be close... but still really far apart." "Oh," he said softly. "She's... keeping you at arm's length then?" "I guess so," I sighed. "Literally." "Oh...." "Sorry, that's... probably a little TMI," I chuckled awkwardly. We were still hugging. His grip on me had relaxed a little, but now it tightened again. "It's okay," he whispered. "I, um... ha. I guess I was... a little weirded out about staying here at first... knowing my sister might be... doing stuff with her boyfriend while I'm in the same apartment. Like... ew. But now... I actually feel kinda bad you're not getting laid." He let out a short laugh. "Been, uh... a while?" I smirked. "Yep. A long while. Like... not even once since we've moved here." "Jeez. What's her problem?" "Wish I knew. But I don't really wanna... yunno... have expectations of her just because we're in a relationship. Her body, her rules. I respect that." "Hm... I guess...," he mumbled dubiously. "Still. That really bites. She does seem kinda... weirdly cold toward you. Especially considering how sweet and understanding you seem to be with her. I mean, she's a heinous bitch to me, but I give her a lot of the same. Isn't a girlfriend supposed to... actually act like she likes you?" I considered this silently for a while. The things he was saying sounded very similar to the complaints my family and friends used to have about my girlfriend. And in recent months, the only friends I had around were her friends, who were always on Team Lisette and expected that any boyfriend of hers should worship her, without any expectation of it going the other way. "I'm sorry," Julien added after a long pause. "I shouldn't be... criticizing your relationship like that. It's none of my business." "No, I... I'm actually kinda glad. It's possible that I really needed to hear all that. I make a lot of excuses for her. Maybe... maybe I need to.... I dunno." I trailed off, thinking. "Stand up for yourself more?" he suggested. "I only say it because... it's something that I struggle with. I think you and I are... similar." "I think you're right." I smiled slowly. "Thank you. Thanks for your perspective. And for the hug. I really needed one. A lot." "Me too," he chuckled, squeezing me once more. "Although I... think it sort of became a cuddle a while back." I felt a tingling warmth spread over my body. "Uh-huh. I guess it did." "N-nothing wrong with that... right?" "Course not. Two lonely guys... enjoying a cuddle. Nothing wrong with that." He sighed contentedly. "Um... thanks for not making fun of my bear." "Why would I? He's adorable. I'd never disrespect a man's relationship with his bear." Julien laughed. I wished he weren't still resting on my shoulder, because I would have loved to see his face. "Anyway," I continued after a pause, "as far as Lise goes... this conversation never happened. Right? I kinda think she wouldn't appreciate me discussing our lack of a sex life." "No problem. I wouldn't tell in a million years." He lifted his head finally and looked me in the eye. "And the Oreos?" I smiled widely. "They never existed." "Not in this household. God forbid we should put anything into our bodies but good, nutritious food!" He mirrored my grin. The full weight of his gorgeous smile hit me like a ton of bricks. I could have almost bitten his darling face. "Oh, you're so cute!" I exclaimed before I could stop myself. His expression was momentarily startled. He flushed and stepped back from me, grabbing his teddy bear before it could fall. He pressed it against his smiling mouth as if to hide his cuteness behind it. I noticed then that the bear had a little red felt heart stitched to its chest. "S-stop being so nice... you're cheering me up." I blushed a little myself. "God forbid," I chuckled nervously. "Uh, I guess we should probably get some sleep, hm?" He nodded, and lingered a few moments before retreating back into the living room. I followed, shutting the balcony door behind us. "Well... good night," I whispered. "Hope the sofa isn't too bad." He dove into a snarl of blankets and writhed until he had made himself comfortable, still clutching his bear. "It's pretty nice, actually." He smiled at me, making my heart thunder. "Thanks for... making me feel better." "Ditto. And... I'm really glad you're here." "I'm starting to feel the same," he whispered. "Night!" ========== Lisette shook me awake in the morning, ten minutes before my alarm. "Breakfast," she said groggily. I squinted at the clock. "I've got time." I yawned and rolled over, hugging my pillow. I heard her scribbling with pen and paper. "What are you writing?" I wondered. "I'm making a schedule for Julien. He'll just sit on his butt all day playing video games or abusing the Internet if I don't give him tasks. He needs to focus on job hunting." I felt a surge of annoyance flare up in the pit of my stomach. I rarely, if ever, felt annoyed at my girlfriend, but since the conversations I'd had with Julien yesterday, I was seeing Lisette through a lens other than infatuation. "Sweetie," I began carefully, "it's been several years since you've lived with your brother. Aren't you making some big assumptions there?" She stabbed her notepad hard with her pen, either dotting an "i" or ending a sentence with particular passion. "Of the two of us, Cody, who do you think knows him better?" she asked curtly. "Well, you, certainly," I said with as much patience as I could muster. "But... that doesn't mean he's not an adult now. Why not give him a chance to prove himself?" "You're so naive," she muttered. "You have no clue what trouble he's gotten himself into. And have you even looked at him? He's a mess. Those horrible shoes of his - they should have been in the trash a year ago. He dresses like a homeless kid. He needs a haircut. He slouches, and he mumbles, and has no idea what he's doing with his life. I guess you didn't really follow the conversation yesterday at dinner, but we were talking about course selection. He's just planning to take an assortment of classes that sound 'fun'! He has no career prospects. He has no major in mind. He's going nowhere. He's going to waste his time and his money and end up in the gutter or in jail if I don't step in. I've also got to take him shopping - he's not going to impress anyone in a job interview the way he's looking now." I pressed my face into my pillow. It was difficult to listen to her tearing Julien apart like this. I sat up finally, unable to stay silent. "Lise, couldn't you give the poor guy a break? Honestly, most people just entering college have no idea what they're doing with their lives. I think taking a variety of courses is a good idea - it's exactly what I did my first few semesters." She regarded me with a furrowed brow. "Yeah - and you were floundering, as I recall. Directionless, not to mention socially inept, and a complete slob. Thanks to me, you got yourself sorted out. He'd do well to look to you as an example of how a man can improve himself." "I wasn't...!" I began, frustration coming across in my voice. My connection with Julien last night seemed to have broken a spell. My brain wasn't putting Lisette the Beautiful on a pedestal anymore. It used to seem like the worst thing in the world to disagree with her, but now it seemed necessary, and I was suddenly exasperated with myself for not doing it more often. I took a breath and calmed my tone. "I wasn't 'floundering'. Lise... I wasn't 'directionless', and I wasn't 'inept'. I was figuring myself out, and for goodness' sake, I'm just a quiet, introverted person who doesn't care for parties and noisy pubs. You dragging me to all those things didn't 'improve' me - I just wanted to spend some time with you, so I let it be on your terms. You know what I like? Relaxing, and wearing comfortable clothes, and yes, eating junk food once in a while, but you didn't care what I liked, because it wasn't what you liked. I really miss my comfortable clothes, and my old sneakers." Her Brother Ch. 01 Lisette's pretty eyes widened steadily as I spoke. "Where is this coming from?" she gasped. "What are you saying?" I closed my eyes for a few moments. I had been suppressing so much for so long I'd neglected to realize I had such a festering wound from the way she had been treating me, and now it badly needed to drain. "I just... I'm just realizing I've come to think things like, 'I'd be so lost without my girlfriend, I'd be nobody'. But... I think you made me feel that way. I didn't feel like 'nobody' before I met you. You took issue with everything that was 'me', and tried to rebuild me into your ideal boyfriend. I let you... on account of being in love. I preferred being your boyfriend to being myself. I let you take over my life. And now you're trying to do the same thing to Julien - picking apart everything about him, and trying to make him into the sort of man you personally approve of. It's not right - you've got to stop!" Lisette clenched her teeth. Her chin trembled. "So!" she hissed. "Now I'm some kind of monster on a rampage? All this time you play the sweet, caring boyfriend, treat me like a princess, and out of nowhere, I'm Queen Bitch? That's real nice, Cody. Real nice. I just love how every problem is my fault just because you've suddenly discovered an ego." I sighed. "I didn't say you were a bitch or a monster. Look... I'm sorry to dump all that on you at once. I probably should have given it some more thought first... and waited for a good time for us to talk things out. I just... I'm having trouble right now with your... controlling tendencies. But I'm not the one who's important right now. Julien's a sweet kid, and he's probably more capable than you give him credit for. I'd like to see you treating him with a bit more respect." She pressed her pretty lips together into a less-than-pretty little angry line and fumed. "He's been complaining about me behind my back, hasn't he? You two have been conspiring, like two little bratty kids in the back row complaining about teacher!" She slapped her notebook down on her nightstand and threw back the covers with a vengeance, climbing into her bathrobe the moment she stood up as if she didn't want me to look at her body. She placed her hands on her hips and glared down at me. "I can't believe you're lecturing me about respect, when you're gossiping about me with my baby brother. I've told you before, there's a lot you don't know about Julien, so this little tirade of yours about how to treat my own brother is pretty pathetic and ignorant. From now on, Cody, why don't you let ME deal with MY family... and you mind your own gosh darn business?" Without waiting for a reply, she whirled around and left the bedroom, robe flapping behind her. A few moments later, I heard the shower running. I rubbed my eyes tiredly and forced myself out of bed, padding out into the living room. Julien was still unconscious. He looked like a perfect doll in the innocent vulnerability of sleep. A perfect doll with tousled hair and a tiny spot of drool at the corner of his sweet mouth. I noticed things I hadn't noticed yesterday: his long lashes, his smooth skin, his flawlessly shaped eyebrows. I wanted to keep watching him sleep, but it was probably creepy of me, and besides, I had to prepare breakfast immediately or I'd be late for work. I started some coffee going, turned on the oven, and began chopping vegetables. Either the percolating of the coffee machine or my chopping woke Julien. He shuffled over, wearing only rumpled pyjama shorts. I froze as he leaned on me from behind, placing his chin on my shoulder to peek at what I was doing. I could feel the heat of recently departed slumber radiating off of his bare flesh. "Morning," he whispered. "Hey, you," I whispered back. I couldn't rouse the necessary coordination to continue chopping while his chin was on my shoulder. "Uh... you like mushrooms?" "Yeah, I don't mind em." "Onions? Peppers?" "Sure." "Tomatoes?" "No. No tomatoes." "Check." He finally peeled himself off of me and watched from a short distance as I prepared a veggie frittata, sans tomatoes. Once it was in the oven, I sat with him, and we had coffee. He loaded his with milk and sugar. I had mine with just a little sugar. "Sleep okay?" I asked. "Yeah, pretty well." I sipped. His hair was an adorable rat's nest that I wanted to tame with my fingers. His face still had faint sleep lines. His chest was boyish, completely hairless. "I, uh... had a little talk with Lise this morning." "Oh?" "She was trying to make some kind of schedule for you for the day. I kind of unloaded on her a bit." I rubbed the back of my neck and frowned, listening to the distant whine of her hair dryer from behind the bathroom door. "She might be on the warpath today, so... sorry. I definitely opened a can of worms." He bit down on his bottom lip for a few moments. "It's probably my fault. I vented to you a lot." I shook my head. "No, I'm glad you did. It made me realize I needed to do a little venting myself. I don't think my timing was great though. And I wasn't especially tactful. Anyway... she thinks we're conspiring against her or something." "Maybe we sort of are." He smiled shyly. I couldn't help but grin. He was so disarming. I slung an arm around his naked shoulders, and he leaned against me. "It's not like we're plotting her doom," I chuckled. "We just want to be treated like grown-ups, right?" "Yeah. That... that'd be nice." He pressed his face into my shoulder, muffling a brief chuckle. "Am I allowed to hoard Oreos and sleep with a stuffed animal and still be a grown-up?" "Of course!" I laughed, squeezing him against my side. "You have my permission at least." Lisette's hair drier quieted, and soon the rattle of the doorknob sounded. Julien and I quickly, instinctively, separated and sat up straight as she stepped out of the bathroom. Moments later, she swept into the bedroom and shut the door noisily behind her. I felt a strange rush of exhilaration mixed with guilt. I was forced to consider why I'd just been cuddling my girlfriend's brother... and more importantly, why we'd both been afraid to get caught at it. I glanced across at Julien, and his cheeks were flushed. I supposed he'd been having the very same thoughts. "I should take my turn in the shower," I said breathily, standing and slipping away before he could respond. I took full advantage of the opportunity to have an unsuspicious excuse to lock the bathroom door. In the shower, I jerked myself off hard and fast, lubing my stiff cock with plenty of soap. My mind was an abstract pornographic filmstrip of rapidly switching, intensely sexual imagery designed to get me there as efficiently as possible. In the moment before my climax, however, I was picturing the sexiest mouth in the world, wet-lipped and smiling coyly - it could have been Lisette's, but deep down I knew it was her brother's. I clenched my jaw painfully tightly to keep back any telltale noises. My fluids swirled harmlessly down the drain, and as my body calmed from the intense orgasm, I was thinking of how it had felt to have Julien's warm, mostly-naked body next to mine, his chin resting innocently on my shoulder. Once I'd gotten myself all scrubbed and dressed for work, Lise and Julien were sitting at the kitchen island, arguing in French. I tried to calm the inner flare of stress that surged up at Lise's vehemence, and at the appearance of the schedule she had written up and was now pushing on him. I took the frittata out of the oven, served up breakfast for the three of us, and helped myself to a second cup of coffee. I didn't want to sit in the third chair this time, to be cut off from their conversation. Instead I stood across from them, facing them, and ate standing up. Lise paused mid-lecture and glared up at me. "What?" she demanded. "This really doesn't concern you." "Why can't it?" I asked calmly. "I'd like us all to talk. The three of us." "Yes - please, could we?" Julien begged his sister. "No more French. I think it's rude to leave Cody out." Lisette clenched her jaw. "This is a family matter, as far as I'm concerned." Julien sighed, and his posture sagged a little. "Um... I don't think it is, really. This is about you wanting to make sure I'm... not being a freeloader, or whatever." He looked up at me, and then at Lisette. "This apartment belongs to both of you. You've been nice enough to let me stay awhile. I swear, I'll do my part. I'm actively job hunting. And... I can manage that without instructions." I watched him fold Lise's sheet of notepaper in half, and then in quarters, and slide it toward her. "I'm not a little kid. If you don't trust me... fine. I've got savings. I'll pay one-third rent, and buy all my own groceries. We'll just be temporary roommates." "Your own groceries!" she exclaimed, her voice dripping with cynicism. "What would that be, a big case of Hot Pockets and gallons of Mountain Dew?" "Lise!" I cut in sharply. I was surprised by the force of my own voice, and she was too. I hated the condescending way she was speaking to her brother, and I reacted instinctively. "Cody!" she snapped back. "Butt. Out. I'm not kidding." "Lise!" Julien exclaimed, sounding close to tears. "Stop, both of you!" Lisette shrilled, pressing her hands over her ears. "You're driving me crazy!" Julien and I met eyes silently. "I have to go to work," she said after a few moments of silence. She pushed away her breakfast dishes and grabbed her purse. "I should go too," I muttered, quickly putting her dishes in the dishwasher and tucking the breakfast leftovers into the fridge. I turned to Julien, who was looking defeated, his shoulders sagging. "Hey," I whispered, touching his shoulder briefly while Lise was digging for her keys. "Don't worry, okay? I'll do what I can." He looked like he wanted to hug me, but he stayed still. "Thanks. Thanks for breakfast. And... for everything." "You're welcome. I'll be home around half past five." After giving him a little squeeze, I followed Lise out the door, just barely managing to catch her in the elevator. "I'm not arguing with you, Cody," she said tightly. "I don't know what's come over the two of you, ganging up on me like that, but I'm not going to argue with you." "Does that mean you're not willing to have a discussion?" "It means I'm not impressed with your attitude, and I'm not going to indulge it." She crossed her arms and pursed her lips. "I'm really not sure what that implies, but I'd like you to at least listen to my opinion. I know he's your brother, and I know you care, and want him to have all the best chances in life. But I don't think you're helping him by... taking over. Remember how stressful it was trying to balance work and college for the first time? He's going through a lot of change, and he's obviously pretty upset about something. The way you're treating him might just be piling on extra stress. I really think you should just let him do his thing. Give him a chance to be an adult... all on his own. Would you consider that?" Lisette rolled her eyes. "I don't know how many times I need to repeat myself. There's a lot you don't know about Julien - get that through your head! For your information, I'm respecting his privacy by not telling you details. I'm sure he's been sweet-as-can-be with you to try to win you over to his side, but for your own sake, don't take him at face value. Seriously. Trust me when it comes to my brother. I know things you don't, and that's that. Anyway, stress is part of life. No one achieved success without stress. He should be feeling the pressure. If he's not feeling pressure, then I'm going to pressure him. People like you and him think you can just take it easy and coast through life in blissful mediocrity. I won't stand for that." I swallowed hard. "Mediocrity? Is that what you thought of me when we first met? That I was just some... mediocre slob?" "Don't take that whiny tone with me. It's really irritating." "Please answer the question." "Cody - jeez!" She jangled her keys impatiently as the elevator door opened and we stepped out into the underground parking level. She began to stalk toward her car, her heels clopping and echoing in the cavelike structure. "Lise!" I called after her. She whirled around and set a hand on her hip. "WHAT?" I took a deep, cleansing breath. "Julien at least thanked me for breakfast. I don't remember the last time you did that. I think you could stand to learn from his example a little... rather than the other way around." She squinted at me, looking both confused and annoyed. "I thank you plenty! What do you want, a parade? And when do you ever thank ME for anything?" I bit the inside of my cheek. Since we'd moved in, I'd been doing nearly all of the cooking and cleaning. When she did laundry, she did only her own, and even that was because when I'd tried to do ours together, she berated me for mixing different fabrics and wouldn't allow me to touch her clothes again. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be thanking her for. Correcting all of my mistakes? Monitoring my diet? Pointing out every time I put on a few pounds? I did happen to thank her every time she let me have sex with her, but that now seemed like a thing of the distant past. What an idiot I'd been. What a stupid, mindlessly fawning lap dog. She finally threw her hands up in frustration and turned back to her car. I retreated to mine, and we both left, driving in opposite directions. ========== I was in a fog all day at work, trying to puzzle out how to handle Lisette now that I had found a backbone and she wasn't liking it. When I wasn't fretting over this issue, I was distracted thinking of Julien, of how great it had been to hug and cuddle him, of his breathtaking smile and how it made everything seem right with the world. I was also inescapably curious about Lise's warnings about him, about what secrets there might be that they were both keeping from me. It was with mixed stress and excitement that I returned home at the end of my day. It was Friday night, and we had the weekend ahead of us. Maybe I could take Julien out for some "guy time". I knew Lisette wouldn't like it, but she had "girls' night out" on a regular basis with her friends, and what could she do to stop us? Lock us in a cage like her very own little pets? When I came in, Julien was sitting on the sofa in a little blanket nest, reading a book. He looked up and gave me a tiny smile. "Hi," he said softly. "I missed you." He missed me? Lisette never said things like that. I stood and stared at him, startled by this realization. She didn't seem to miss me when I was gone. Usually it was me who initiated every "I love you". If she gave me a compliment, it was almost always in polite response to something I'd said. How had I been with her so long without noticing these things? Julien seemed to illuminate them because he shone in every way she didn't. Julien was warm and inviting, and made me feel wanted. With Lisette I felt barely adequate, often less than adequate, and was struggling constantly to be better. Was this how she and her mother had both made Julien feel his whole life? Was this what drove their father away? "I-I'm sorry," Julien stammered after a few long moments of my silent rumination. "Was that... a weird thing to say?" I shook my head. "No... not at all. I was just thinking of how much I missed you too." He brightened immediately and set his book down on the coffee table next to his laptop. I approached him, and it seemed perfectly natural to dive down onto the sofa and tackle him with affection. He laughed, and we rolled around in the tangle of blankets, hugging each other tightly. The no-holds-barred way he clung to me was deeply satisfying. We ended up cuddling there on the sofa, embracing and leaning on each other. I was expecting Lise to walk in the door any minute, but for now I would take advantage of every moment alone with her sweet, adorable brother. Julien the Beautiful. My phone bleeped with a text message notification, and Julien leaned away from me so that I could check it. I pulled my phone from my pocket and found a text from Lisette: [Working late, don't wait up. Make sure Julien has lots of veggies at dinner. Also take him shoe shopping (NICE job interview shoes, we can buy, budget $80) and haircut too if possible. Pls don't argue!!] I furrowed my brow at the screen, and moments later showed Julien the text. He made a disgusted face. "She seriously does think we're eight years old, doesn't she?" I nodded. "I'm starting to think so." I typed out a reply: [Not arguing. Take care.] I set my phone down with a sigh. "Okay. Julien, do you need new shoes?" "No, I have nice ones in one of my boxes. I wouldn't wear my Chuck Taylors to a job interview." "See, I figured you weren't an idiot," I said with a wry grin. "Do you want a haircut?" "No. I like my hair." "I like it too. There, we're done that crap. What do you want for dinner?" His eyes lit up hopefully. "Pizza?" I grinned. "I don't think I've had pizza in at least six months. Could it at least have veggies on it?" "As long as it also has pepperoni and sausage and bacon!" "Good enough for me!" I laughed. "One large super-deluxe pizza, coming up. We could also order a few cans of Coke...?" "Yes!" "And those cinnamon-sugar things?" "Mmm, yes!" He wriggled excitedly. I laughed and grabbed him again, tousling his hair. "Awesome! Tonight's gonna be you and me, and whatever we want to eat!" He squeezed and nuzzled me, laughing with delight. "You're my favourite brother!" "Do you have others?" I teased. "No... but if I did, you'd still be my favourite." I was once again flooded with affection for him so overwhelming that I wanted to bite him. I was at a loss to understand my own inclinations, but I was loving every moment with him nonetheless. I resisted the urge to gnaw on his sweet face and instead turned my attention back to my phone and made our delivery order. "Now, we can't have any leftovers, and all the trash needs to go straight down the chute so Lise doesn't find out," I said as we waited. "I hope you're hungry!" He nodded. "I'm skinny, but I can pack in a lot of pizza!" "I bet you can," I chuckled, poking his flat stomach. We continued to chat a while, and eventually I paid attention to the book he'd been reading - it was "Game of Thrones". I asked him if he'd watched the series. "Not yet, but I own the first season. It was a Christmas present from a friend. I wanted to read the books before watching." "I've only seen part of an episode. I wanted to give it a chance, but Lise made me turn it off because it was too violent, and... yunno... naked." I laughed awkwardly. "She basically equated it with porn." His cheeks coloured, and he smiled sheepishly into his lap. "Not surprising. So I guess you're... not allowed to watch porn either?" He ended with a brief chuckle. I was quiet for a few moments, considering how much I wanted him to know. Well, he already knew his sister wasn't putting out - how much more information could be inappropriate to share at this point? "Nope. She gets, um... pretty upset if I do. She says it's the same as cheating." He seemed to consider this deeply, and then gave his head a little shake. "So, um... did you wanna watch with me? I won't tell." I suddenly felt warm and tremulous all over. Julien wanted to watch porn with me! The thought was both shocking and titillating. I'd never watched porn with a friend before. And watching it with a friend I found shockingly attractive, and had deeply enjoyed cuddling with, seemed like a great big Red Flag scenario. The bell rang, saving me from having to answer - our dinner had arrived. We dove into the pizza with gusto, each grabbing for a slice the moment the box hit the kitchen counter. The slices we took were connected to one another by delectable gobs of molten cheese. They separated unevenly, like a wishbone, and I apparently won the pull - a few too many toppings clung to my slice, leaving his partially denuded. Her Brother Ch. 01 "Hey - no fair!" he laughed. "Gimme some of that back!" "Mmmmm!" I groaned indulgently, taking a big, cheesy bite and reveling in the pure joy of sneaking delicious junk food. I grinned smugly and shook my head. "Luck of the draw, kiddo!" He pouted melodramatically and took a slow bite from his piece, consisting only of crust and sauce. I laughed and took pity on him. "Awww, who can resist that face?" I plucked a slice of pepperoni from my piece and offered it to him. Grinning cheekily, he leaned down and grabbed it between his teeth. He closed his lips around the tips of my fingers, which thrilled me in that moment far more than I knew was reasonable. We ate till we were groaning with excess. I made all of the trash and empty soda cans disappear, so that there was no evidence for Lisette to find when she returned home. We even kept the balcony door open for a while to air the place out, both chortling as if we'd gotten away with some kind of caper. I was feeling a bit liberated, a bit uninhibited, almost as if I were tipsy. I opened the drawer of a side table and pulled out my broken iPad to show Julien. "See that? That's apparently what happens when I get caught with porn." He clapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes widening in shock. He finally let his hand drop. "She didn't!" "She did." I nodded slowly. "She seriously did that because of porn?" "Yep." "How are you even... I mean... how do you put up with that?" He cringed. "I'm sorry, but... with my mom I didn't have much choice. She's my mom, and she had the right to punish me. But you... you do have a choice." I sighed and tucked away the tablet. "Such is the power of self-delusion I suppose. At the time I thought it was... fair. I think I've just been completely lacking in self-esteem, and... I defaulted to her being right about everything, and me being wrong." He carefully leaned against me, resting his head on my shoulder. "You think that's what they do? People like her, and my mom? Tear down people's self-esteem... so we become dependent on them to feel like we have any value?" I considered this for a minute. "It's possible that's what they do, although I don't necessarily think they do it on purpose. The way they treat us can seem pretty disrespectful, I guess... but honestly, I think it mostly comes from a place of fear. They're afraid of what might happen if they lose control." "Hmmm...," he sighed softly, pressing a little closer to my side. "I guess losing control can be scary sometimes. Losing control can be... a disaster. But... maybe sometimes... it's exactly what we need." My heart thudded so violently, I thought my entire body was vibrating. I inhaled the sweet apple fragrance of his hair and shuddered pleasantly. I craved to be closer to him - the kind of closer that required less clothing in the way. What was happening to me? Losing control. Oh hell. I was in love. I had fallen headfirst in love with my girlfriend's little brother. I'd been enchanted with him at first sight, and loved him for sure when he'd given me Oreos. And now I was snuggling with him on the sofa while my girlfriend was out, I was sexually repressed and inescapably horny, and he was talking about needing to lose control. How had I let myself get into this situation? I had never even been curious about guy-on-guy stuff before. Where was this coming from? Did he know what effect he was having on me? Was he torturing me on purpose, or was he just a sweet, cuddly, lonely kid who liked to "male bond" in a slightly out-of-the-ordinary manner? I didn't have time to ponder for long, as I received another text message from Lisette. When I read it, all of my whirling thoughts of Julien faded, and the indulgent meal turned to stone in my stomach: [We should see other people.] I stared at the message, failing to comprehend the full meaning of it. "What is it?" Julien asked softly, noticing my stricken expression. "Hang on," I said distractedly, typing. [What? U breaking up w/ me?] Her reply came a minute later: [No not exactly. Trial separation I guess?] My thumbs moved frantically. [Why? B/c I disagreed with u for the 1st time EVER??] [So sick of your attitude. Need a break.] I gaped at this message. What did she mean? I had an inkling, but I didn't want to assume. I typed anyway: [R u seeing someone already? Is that why? Ur already seeing someone else. Ur not really "working late"....] I waited a few minutes for a reply, while Julien sat patiently beside me. Finally, she responded: [Well, you cheated, Cody, so you chose this. We might as well just call it what it is. We're both seeing other people and that's that.] My breath came in short, harsh puffs. My thumbs stabbed at the tiny keyboard: [PORN ISNT CHEATING!!!] [Disagree. Done with this. Don't expect me back tonight. Turning off my phone now.] My hands were trembling hard. I could barely breathe. I was finding it impossible to process this. Even though I knew now it wasn't true, my brain insisted on panic - if I lost Lisette, I would lose everything. I would be nobody. Julien touched my arm. "Are you okay?" he breathed. "I don't... know," I said woodenly. I scrolled back through the brief conversation. After a few moments' consideration, I passed him my phone, letting him read the whole thing. "Oh... shit," he finally whispered. "Shit. Oh, that's.... I don't even know what to say." I shook my head slowly. "Me neither." There was an uncomfortable silence, and then I heard the noise of a new text message. Julien was still looking at my phone, so he saw it first. "Oh god, oh god, oh god!" he gasped. He stared at the screen, eyes growing wider and wider. "No - oh, you fucking bitch!" I watched him, morbidly fascinated, as he doubled over, my phone still clutched in his hand. "What does it say?" I whispered. "Do I want to know?" He didn't answer, but his shoulders were shaking. I realized he was crying. I waited. At last, he dropped my phone on the coffee table and shifted away from me. He grabbed his teddy bear and retreated to the balcony. I took a few cleansing breaths before picking up my phone to see the new message: [BTW I might as well warn you about your new BFF Julien. He didn't get kicked out because mom's moving. He got kicked out because he's a little perv. He's been going through a thing where he thinks he's gay, and he got caught with some truly disgusting stuff on his computer, sent dick pics to all his friends, and sexually assaulted his prom date. He was nearly arrested. If he acts all sad about not having friends, it's his own doing. Maybe you think he's a nice kid, but he's basically an amateur predator. Just watch out. For your own sake.] I shut my eyes and set my phone aside, silently processing this. My own problems slowly evaporated in the face of the accusations being levelled at Julien. I could only assume that whatever he'd done, it had been greatly exaggerated. It was difficult not to ignore everything else in favour of the one, seemingly most salient fact here: that Julien - Julien the Beautiful - was gay. I left my phone on the coffee table and walked stiffly to the balcony as if I'd been programmed. I could feel my own heartbeat in every one of my fingertips. It was windy, and Julien's hair was whipping around wildly. He was shivering, probably with tears, but it was also chilly out. His mouth and nose were pressed against his bear's fuzzy head, muffling his sobs. "How much of it is true?" I asked loudly to be heard over the wind. I stood behind one of his shoulders, almost leaning on it as he'd leaned on me this morning while I prepared breakfast. He sniffled a few times and lowered the teddy bear a few inches. "Some," he said hoarsely. "Only some. I swear." "I believe you," I said, wrapping my arms around him from behind and squeezing him until he stopped shaking. I spoke closely into his ear: "Come inside. Tell me everything. I want to hear your side." He sniffled again, and gradually leaned back against me. "I... I think you're the first person to actually mean that." I kissed the top of his head, and then ushered him gently inside. I didn't take him to the sofa, but all the way to the bedroom. "Stay here with me tonight? You might as well not sleep on the sofa, when half of this big bed is going to waste." I crawled in, pushing back the blankets. He wiped his eyes and sat down on the edge of the bed, still hugging his bear. "I mean... unless it's weird to be... in your sister's spot," I added. He shrugged. "Not really. It's not like anyone's been having sex in this bed." He glanced back and gave me the tiniest smile. In a few moments, we were both laughing. Julien finally lay down beside me. He pulled out his phone and fiddled with it for a minute. "Thanks for... not judging," he whispered. "I trust you, so long as you don't give me any reason not to." He sighed. "Okay. So. Um... my mom and my sister really don't... get it. I'm not... 'going through a thing'. I've always been gay. It's just been... hard to be honest about it. I come from a pretty homophobic family." I thought about this. Was Lisette a homophobe? I didn't recall ever witnessing her disparage gays, but she certainly didn't have any gay friends. "Not surprising that it should be difficult for you," I remarked. "I think it must have taken a lot of guts to come out." "Yeah. It caused, um... a bit of a shitstorm. But the hardest thing maybe... was having a huge crush on my best friend." Julien rolled a little closer to me, and showed me a photo on his phone. It was a picture of him and another good-looking guy, both in tuxedos and looking as happy as I'd ever seen a couple look. They each had an arm around the other, and with their free hands they were both lifting a pant leg to show off their matching Chuck Taylors. I smiled. They were the same shoes as sat in our entranceway right now. "That was prom," he whispered. "He took me - my friend Miles. Everyone at school thought he was a hero... because he was supposedly straight... and not ashamed to be his gay buddy's date. I came out like... six months beforehand. Miles knew I liked him, and even though he told me he wasn't bi-curious or anything... he'd sort of... get romantic with me here and there, because he knew it would make me happy." He lifted his teddy bear, poking at its little red heart. "He gave me this on Valentine's Day. And then when he asked me to prom... I was stupid enough to think it meant something." He squeezed the bear against his chest. "I think Miles was... confused. Maybe I was too. But I was sure I was in love with him. And with all these signals he gave me... I always had hope there was a chance." I lay on my side, watching him gaze up at the ceiling. "I don't think that's stupid at all." "Well, I definitely did get stupid later on," he sighed, pressing the bear against his face for a few moments. "Prom was such a good time. It was amazing being his date. He was so sweet to me. He held me so tight when we danced. Everyone loved us together." He sniffled and narrowly held back a fresh bout of tears. "We went to his place afterward. Just... hung out in his room. I was so excited. It seemed like... anything could happen. He told me... 'You can kiss me if you want to. I'll let you.' So I... I kissed him. I was like, really... really attracted to him. He started, um... touching himself. Like... through his pants. We were both, like... turned on." I stayed silent, barely breathing. "He was really... acting like he wanted something... yunno?" Julien continued. He crossed his arms over his eyes and groaned. "I opened up his pants and I... I touched him. He didn't stop me or anything. He just looked me in the eyes as I touched him. It was just the most incredible moment of my life. And then... then his mom walked in on us. She... freaked out. And Miles... he freaked out even more. He hit me... he fucking hit me! He yelled at me and acted like I'd just groped him uninvited, out of nowhere. He complained to his mom and she threatened to call the police. I was so scared, I just... I just ran outta there. I just ran home." He rolled over, facing away from me and shaking with more sobs. I shifted closer and cuddled against him, holding both him and his bear. "Shhh," I soothed. "It's okay. You're safe now." He shivered and placed his hand over mine. "He called me later... to apologize. Said he had to act that way so his mom wouldn't know he was, like, experimenting. I believed everything he told me. He said he... liked me touching him, and wanted to do it again. He said he... he wanted to... see me naked. But he didn't know how... how we could manage it. Since his mom was like... not wanting him to be near me anymore. So he asked me to send him a pic. He begged me. Ugh... I'm such a moron. I took a pic and texted it to him, and made him promise to be careful. He promised... but I never talked to him again. Next time we were at school... I found out nearly every guy we knew had gotten a copy of my photo. He must have used one of those apps that masks your number... because it looked like it was from me. Seemed like everyone was either laughing at me... or wanting to hurt me." "Shhhhit," I breathed. It had been a long, long time since I'd uttered a swear word - Lisette didn't approve - but the situation certainly called for it. "What a bastard." "Yup. It was a good thing the school year was basically over. I might've got suspended or something." He sniffled noisily. "I just... can't understand why he'd turn on me like that. We'd been best friends for years. He always acted like he was fine with me being gay...." I squeezed him close to my body. "Probably one of those fear things," I whispered. "He probably wanted you, but he was afraid of what it would mean if he gave in to those feelings. So he lashed out. I think people are at their worst when they let fear control them." He was quiet for nearly a minute. "I never really thought of it that way. That... that actually kind of makes sense." He sighed, shivering a little. "I've been torn between love and hate for Miles. Now I kind of feel sorry for him. I resented so much that he... ruined me so effortlessly... and everyone still thought he was a hero. A martyr, even... for having been 'victimized' by me after he'd been such a good sport about fake dating me. But... he knows the truth in his own heart. And it's a shame he couldn't face it." "He really missed out," I whispered. He pressed my hand and went quiet again. After a while, he whispered back: "My sister's missing out too. She has no idea what a good thing she's had all this time." I smiled unsteadily at the back of his head. "Usually people remark on how unbelievable it is that I managed to score a catch like her." "They've got it completely backwards." I pressed my face into his hair, nuzzling him. He pushed his body back against me, and for a few minutes we just snuggled. It was a snuggle I would have traded my entire two-year relationship with Lisette for. I could not recall ever feeling so contented, or so connected to someone. "So...," he finally continued, "my mom found out about the picture as well as my, um... encounter with Miles. Both our moms had... quite the discussion. Police were involved, briefly... nothing ever came of it. They didn't want much to do with the 'he said, he said' nonsense of a couple of teenagers fooling around after prom. They wanted to know about the photo, but I was already eighteen when I took it, so it was really nothing more than a joke and a waste of time for them. My mom still treated me like a sex offender though. I really should have wiped my browser history. I really, really should have. There was a some pretty 'out there' stuff... especially after things went bad with Miles. I was in a dark place. A bad combination of being horny and hating myself. It was... nothing illegal, I swear. I don't think. Just... like...." "You don't have to tell me." "Do you... want to know what I watched? Or would you rather not?" I considered this for a few moments. "I'll admit to being curious. But you're not obligated." "It's okay. I think... I think I'd rather you just know the absolute worst." He sighed deeply. "Really, just... I watched a helluva lot of gay porn. Whatever was available. It's not that I necessarily liked all of it. Like I said... I was in a dark place, and I just... I sampled everything. Hardcore BDSM... gangbangs and orgies.... Um, uh... watersports." He paused. "Mom cried. And then she screamed at me... and took away all my Internet privileges. And made me feel really horrible about myself." He paused again. "Do you think I'm a perv?" "Of course not!" I replied, feeling strangely relieved. "Julien... everyone gets curious. Your mother and sister strike me as incredibly narrow-minded, maybe even deluded. I think they might be surprised by just how normal you are." "Y-you think so?" "Yeah," I chuckled. "I've certainly watched stuff like that. It's the Internet - it's freely available, and curiosity is normal. I can't say I've watched much in the way of guy-on-guy... but certainly, some 'extreme' stuff. I guess I was lucky I was watching something fairly vanilla when Lise caught me, or she might've broken more than my iPad." I paused, lowering my voice to a soft whisper. "If you still wanted to watch... I'm open to pretty much anything." He became very still. "H-huh?" My heart thudded. "Uh...? Before the pizza came... remember, you were asking if I wanted to watch...?" He pulled in a short gasp. "Ohh.... Um. Uh... oh. I actually meant... 'Game of Thrones'. I wanted to watch 'Game of Thrones' with you. S-sorry that wasn't... clear." "Oh!" My face burned hotly, and my heart pounded. I chuckled awkwardly. "Oh... of course! Of course that's what you meant. We can watch that... yeah! I'd love to. I mean, if you still want to." "Ummm.... Ha. So... you thought I wanted to watch porn with you, and you were... into it?" I regulated my breathing carefully. "Mmm... mm-hm." His thumb stroked my hand twice, softly, driving me crazy. "And if I only watch... gay stuff?" "That would be... okay." He swallowed. I heard his throat click. "Cody? What are you... thinking right now? What are you... feeling?" I deeply inhaled the scent of his hair and shivered. "Well... what I'm thinking is that Lise is pretty ignorant of the fact that she's systematically repressed me to the point that I became lonely and sexually starved, and then gave me carte blanche to see other people, at the very same time as she left me alone with her gorgeous... sweet... huggable... absolutely delicious gay brother." Julien released a long, trembling breath, and sucked in another one, holding it tightly. "What I'm feeling is...," I continued, whispering in his ear, "ravenously horny. But even more than that... I'm pretty sure I'm in love." He let out the breath he'd been holding, and this time it was accompanied by a small squeak. "I'm sorry if this is a lot at once," I continued. "I don't know why all these words are coming out but I can't seem to stop them. You can probably feel my heart - it feels like it's going to burst right through my ribcage. I know I'm probably on the rebound or something right now, and maybe this is a terrible idea, and I know I don't hold a candle to your Miles in the looks department, but if you ever had any interest in kissing me, now would be a good time, because I'm having a hard time stopping myself from rambling and...." He rolled over abruptly, forcing me to let go of him. In one smooth movement, he pushed my shoulders down so that I was lying flat, slung a leg over to straddle me, collapsed over me, and sandwiched my face between his hands. He stopped my mouth with his own, and I melted into the sweetest, hottest, most smouldering kiss of my life. I gripped Julien by his hips and pulled him tight against me. My hands slid up his body, beneath his shirt. He was very warm, and very soft. His lips were even warmer, even softer, and deliciously slick as they slid against my own. His tongue darted against my lips, and I parted them eagerly, letting him invade me. Her Brother Ch. 01 Julien's kiss claimed me; his kiss taught me what a kiss was supposed to be. With Lisette, each one was like a treat thrown to a dog for good behaviour - something she gave away to occasionally reward me. Julien's kiss wasn't a treat, or even a gift. I felt his hunger, not just in his lips and tongue but all over his body. Julien kissed me out of want - need, even. It was a mutual need, and it was an intimate connection shared equally by both of us. Our tongues clashed and twined; we tasted each other's desire, and it fuelled the heat. I realized his body was beginning to rock a little as we made out passionately. I was unaccustomed to being so close to another guy, and it was a little bit of a shock, and an instant fascination as well as a source of intense arousal when I felt a hard pressing against my lower belly that could only be the hardness of an erection trapped inside his jeans. He was gently, perhaps unconsciously, pressing his cock against me. Humping me. Keeping my mouth fixed on his, kissing him continuously, I slid my hands back down to his hips and urged him to slide a little ways down my body. He shifted inch by inch until I could feel the stiffness of his erection colliding with my own. I groaned urgently against his mouth, and he suddenly reared back with a huge gasp. He propped his hands on my chest and panted, staring down at me with pure astonishment. His stunningly beautiful eyes were wide and wild. "I'm s-sorry!" he huffed. "Why? I asked you for it!" "I... I'm... losing control!" He looked slightly sheepish. "Sometimes we need to lose control. You said that." I ran my hands up and down his sides. He bit down on his precious pink lip, and took on an expression of deep concern, his smooth, youthful brow knitting very slightly. "I like you too much!" he burst out, his voice trembling. "I don't want to ruin another friendship!" "You haven't ruined any," I soothed. "Miles was the one who ruined that friendship. And I'm not him. You're safe with me. I want you, Julien - I am one hundred percent certain of that." The worry on his brow relaxed a little, and he gave a slightly wobbly smile. He sniffed and wiped at the corners of his eyes. "Cody... Cody. I... I don't want to just fool around... you know? I want a boyfriend really bad." I took his hand and kissed his fingers, tasting the salt of his tears. "I'd be your boyfriend." I kissed his palm. "If you'd have a schlub like me." He looked astonished again, and his chest rose and fell rapidly. "What about... her?" I shook my head slowly. "I'm done. It took you to make me realize that she never made me a better man. She only ever tore me down. She never loved me - she loved the person she was trying to make me into. My big mistake was loving a pretty face enough to overlook everything that wasn't pretty." I reached up and stroked his bottom lip with my thumb. "You're prettier. This mouth - this is the sexiest mouth I've ever seen. When you smile, I nearly die every time." I drew my fingers up his cheek, and my thumb stroked his eyebrow. "These eyes - these are the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen. Ancient armies could have gone to war for eyes like these. You're the most beautiful creature in the world... and the best part is, your beauty goes all the way through." He dropped his head and let out a little squeak. "I don't know what to say to that." "You could always kiss me again...?" He laughed unsteadily and collapsed over me again, bringing his mouth close to mine. He paused, and I groaned to feel his warm breath on my lips. "I just need you to promise one thing," he whispered. I trembled beneath him. "What's that?" "Don't put yourself down anymore. That's what my sister did, and I'd hate to see you carrying that on. I think you're super cute... and if you're gonna be my boyfriend, I'll be reminding you all the time how adorable and sexy you are. It's only right that you believe me." "You think I'm sexy...?" I breathed, slipping my hands up under his shirt. My cock throbbed of its own volition. By the way his eyes flicked down and the light gasp that momentarily cooled my wet lips, I knew he had felt it. "Hell. Yes." He punctuated each word with a small, intimate kiss. He sat up just long enough to strip off his shirt, and then our mouths connected with heat and hunger. I was completely unaware of the passage of time as we kissed, and my hands explored his soft, bare skin. Julien was a sensory feast, and I was ravenous. I remembered how deliciously satisfying it had felt to hug him for the first time, and this was that feeling multiplied, plus an overwhelming dose of erotic thrill as he penetrated my mouth with his tongue and began again to gently press his hardness against mine. "Ohhh!" I groaned as we finally paused to catch our breath. I felt charged up from head to toe, and hard as granite. "Is it just me, or is this better than sex?" His seductive mouth curled into a cheeky smirk. "Umm... I only really have self-pleasure and porn to compare anything to. But... kinda sounds like you've had some pretty lousy sex." His fingers played teasingly with my shirt buttons. "Very possibly," I chuckled. I flicked open my top button and nodded, giving him permission to help himself. His smile widened, ramping up my pulse, and I reached up to slide a finger over his bottom lip. "My pretty virgin...." He caught my finger in his mouth and sucked on it as he unbuttoned my shirt from top to bottom. I breathed heavily, enjoying this little preview of his oral skills. He let go of my finger once he had exposed me from the waist up, and ran his hands over my belly and chest before lying down on top of me and wriggling a little. We both relished the sensation of bare skin on bare skin. "This feels so good," he whispered, kissing my neck and cheek. "Mm-hmm," I agreed. "I'm really turned on right now," he breathed into my ear. "Really, really, really," "I can tell," I whispered back. "And I am too." "I can tell," he giggled, humping me firmly and growling a little. "Oh!" I gasped at the pressure and friction. "Are you, uh... also feeling really... confined?" I tugged on his belt loops. "These jeans, uh... if you were inclined to take them off... you know, for the sake of comfort...?" He giggled again. "Oh, you wouldn't mind that?" "No, I wouldn't complain." He sat up and undid his button and zipper. I couldn't stop staring at the silhouette of his hard cock. Was this happening? Was I really about to experience another guy's hard-on? I was having undeniably lustful thoughts about it. "One second," he said sheepishly, climbing down off of me and standing up so that he could properly remove his pants. He faced away from me as he did so, and when his jeans dropped, I held my breath. He was wearing a snug pair of red briefs that emphasized the pert outlines of his round buttocks. "Wow," I exhaled. He peeked back over his shoulder coyly. "You like my butt?" "Yeahhh," I said stupidly, unable to remove my eyes from it. I had thought Lisette had the market cornered on cute butts, but here it was, most certainly right in front of me - the cutest butt in the entire world. Julien eclipsed all others in the cute butt department. "Umm... if you start walking around the apartment without pants, I'm not going to be able to look anywhere else." "Not even... here?" He turned around with a sly grin, the tip of his tongue protruding slightly from between his lips. He rubbed a hand gently back and forth across his now barely-contained erection. "Uhhhh...!" My eyes followed the movement of his hand, fascinated. Unthinkingly I mumbled, "Lise sure didn't have THAT...." His hand stopped. I looked up, and his face was somewhat startled, his eyes wide and round. "Oh... shit," I breathed, slapping a hand over my mouth for a few moments. My cheeks burned hotly. "I'm sorry - that was an idiotic thing to say. I'm seriously the most awkward person in the world. I don't know what possessed me to talk about your sister in a context like this! I'm sorry! Did I ruin it?" After a brief pause he burst into laughter, and rubbed at his bulge once more, which, fortunately, had not noticeably diminished. "No, I guess not." He shuffled forward and stood at the edge of the bed, gazing down at me with an unmistakably lustful gleam in his warm hazel eyes. "You can talk about her... just so long as it's about how I'm better." I nodded slowly. "Already, making out with you has been better than sex with her - I don't think you have anything to worry about." He slid his hands up his front and pressed them overtop of his nipples with a little pout. "I don't have tits, though." I shrugged. "I'm not complaining. I always was more of an ass man anyway." I tentatively reached out to touch his bare thigh, drawing my fingers ever so slowly upward. "Touch me," he invited in a low whisper, spreading his arms. "Anywhere." I sat up and let my legs dangle down over the side of the bed, with Julien standing between my knees. I watched his eyes as I let both of my hands rest fully on his upper thighs, sliding around the backs. I wasn't accustomed to having this sort of freedom to touch someone. My gaze roamed over him, every inch, now and then returning to his eyes - those warm hazel eyes, flecked with green and gold - to make sure he was still okay with this. "Go on," he whispered, smirking down at me with his achingly sexy mouth. "I gave you permission. Don't you believe me? Touch!" I let my thumbs slide up until they made contact with the lower edge of his whimsically bright red underpants, and his expression only grew friendlier. This freedom was so heady, I felt dizzy. I took a breath and moved my hands up to cup his butt cheeks fully. We both gasped. His face reflected the astonished delight on mine. I squeezed him gently, and then more firmly, making him grin. His ass felt amazing in my hands. It was perfect - just the right size, and the ideal balance of firmness and softness. "You really are an ass man, aren't you?" he laughed, pushing back a little against my hands. "Now more than ever," I chuckled, continuing to cup and knead his butt as I leaned forward and pressed my face against his belly. It, too, was perfect - both firm and soft. I nuzzled him, worshipping his soft young skin. I kissed and licked him, poking my tongue into his cute bellybutton, drawing a brief yelp from him in the midst of a sea of happy gasps. I worked my way meticulously downward, kissing, nuzzling, inhaling the fresh scent of him, until my chin bumped against his veiled erection. "Oh... hello," I whispered. I sat back, staring at it. There was a little circle of dampness staining the fabric near the tip of his cock. "Ohh...." "Touch," he breathed once more. "Oh, shit... I can't stand it. Please touch me!" I had been ready to tease him a little more, but the urgency of his yearning was contagious, and I wanted his cock immediately. I gripped his shaft through the fabric, eliciting a loud moan from him that pleased me immensely. I stroked its length just as he had done, and he plopped his hands onto my shoulders, leaning on me to steady himself. "I'm gonna take these off now," I whispered, tugging at the waistband of his briefs. "Yes! Now!" I grinned at his order and tucked my fingers beneath the fabric of his underpants, sliding them down slowly. His erection leaped out at me, nearly hitting me in the face. His briefs finally dropped to the floor, and he stepped out of them and kicked them aside, still holding onto my shoulders. I curled a fist around the base of his shaft and stroked it firmly, to the tip, and back down, and up again. Julien threw his head back and groaned at the ceiling. Precum drooled from his tip, enticingly. "I want you so much," I exhaled, every inch of me surging with ravenous need. "Please!" he whimpered. "Mmm...." I lapped at his oozing tip to catch the precum, and he sucked in a breath sharply, his grip on my shoulders tightening almost painfully. The salty taste and slick texture of the clear fluid pleased me intensely, and I licked again, this time with a slower, broader stroke. "Fuck!" he blurted out, all of him twitching at the touch of my tongue. I smiled widely. F-words had never entered our bedroom before Julien. I was greatly enjoying the presence of the forbidden syllable. Lisette's embargo on profanity had made it an irresistibly potent taboo. "Say that again," I whispered against the scarlet tip of his erection before inserting it between my lips and gently sucking as if he were a lollipop. "Haaafuck!" he blurted unsteadily. "Oh - Cody, fuck, fuck!" It was hard to suck on him with how much I wanted to grin, but I managed, swirling my tongue around him and then slurping a little. I tried to take in a little more of him, surprised by how naturally I was taking to cocksucking. His flesh was warm and sweet and comfortable in my mouth. Julien didn't have an uncommonly great length, so I didn't have to get as far as choking myself with him before my lips reached the edge of my fist, which still gripped his shaft at the base. I gently pumped him while I sucked, giving him the royal treatment I had never been favoured with myself. "Fuck-fuck-fuckedy-damn-shit-fucking-hell yeah!" he exclaimed boisterously. I couldn't help but snort a laugh at the words that tumbled from his mouth, and accidentally inhaled a bit of saliva in the clumsy chaos of trying to laugh with a cock in my mouth. I had to pull off and collapsed into a coughing fit, which was punctuated with additional laughter. Julien collapsed down onto the bed beside me and curled up. "I'm sorry!" he moaned through his hands, which were partially covering up his face. "Don't!" I wheezed, gradually getting a handle on breathing again. Once I was no longer coughing, though still shaken by the occasional snicker, I leaned over him and gathered up his tightly bunched body in my arms. "This is new to both of us. Don't worry. We're both kinda awkward right now I guess." He peeked out from behind his hands. "Did I ruin it?" he whispered, the sly gleam in his beautiful eyes reflecting that he was echoing my earlier concern quite deliberately. I grinned down at him and kissed his bare shoulder. "Why don't you give me a feel, and see if you've ruined anything?" His hand crept out and slid curiously up my thigh. When it came in contact with the stiffened flesh beneath my pants, he gasped. "Wow, you're so hard," he whispered. "About as hard as you are, gorgeous." "Ohh...," he sighed. The clumsy moment had vanished in an instant, and he uncurled himself to give attention to my lap, nuzzling his face against my thigh, and his cheek brushed against my cock, ramping up my breathing in a hurry. I sank down onto my back and unbuttoned my pants, feeling almost panicked. "Let me!" Julien insisted, and I lifted my butt in order to allow him to slide my pants down. He left my boxers on and straightaway pressed his face against the mound of my genitals; I groaned aloud. I stared down at Julien with wide eyes as he rubbed his nose and mouth against the fabric that barely concealed my stiff erection and aching balls. He wanted it - he wanted me. He wanted to bury his face in my most sensitive parts. He desired me, and hungered for me. I had never experienced this from Lisette, or anyone. "You're amazing," I panted. "You're incredible. Julien... beautiful. Everything you do is perfect!" My cock muffled the brief laugh that slipped from his eager mouth. He raised his head for a few moments. "You too, Cody." We grinned at each other. His eyes were watering a little. When the outline of him became blurry, I realized mine were too. What was happening between us was a revelation. My whole world was going supernova, and a new one was forming, with this beautiful young man at its centre. His fingers teased beneath the waistband of my boxers as he kept his eyes on me. His expression turned slightly uncertain. I remembered what he'd told me about his friend Miles - this would have been the turning point for him, where everything went wrong. I wanted to assure him that wasn't going to happen this time. "Keep going," I whispered, stroking his hair and massaging his neck gently. "I want it. I want you." He pursed his lips, shut his eyes, and breathed for a few moments. When he opened his eyes again, they were calmer. I heard his breath quivering a little as he tugged on my boxers. Again I raised my butt to give him room. He slid my underwear down, and my erection slapped against my belly. He stared at it, and then he looked up at me. He kept his eyes on mine as he slid his fingers across my now naked cock, and I shuddered at the thrill of the gentle, intimate touch. I could see the smirk that wanted to bloom at the corners of his maddeningly sexy mouth, and I froze in anticipation of it. His soft hand wrapped around my cock, and began to stroke. I could not resist moaning - it felt so, so good. His hidden smile finally broke out in response to the noises I made, and I felt a burst of affection and excitement wash over me. I petted his hair again, but my movements were clumsier this time. I could scarcely resist trembling. "Do you have any idea," I panted, "what you're doing to me?" "Yes," Julien whispered back. "Because I know what you did to me when you touched me... and licked me... and sucked me." He turned his full attention to my scarlet-tipped penis, making gentle twisting motions as he stroked it repeatedly, now and then passing his thumb across the slit. It was a pleasing technique, and made me gasp, especially when his thumb spread oozing precum over the head of my cock. I gasped at the intense feeling of being so skilfully pleasured by Julien's hands. My eyes widened when he leaned down slowly to bring his mouth close to that slick, sensitive flesh. Just feeling the brief warmth of his breath on me as he paused, lips parted and ready to taste me, I nearly lost my mind. At last he gave my cock the gentlest kiss, and I cried out with a loud, "OH!" He smiled widely and kissed me again, the touch of his lips surer and firmer. The tip of his tongue poked out and followed the slit all the way across the head of my cock, and the noise that emerged from my throat could only have been described as a howl. "Wow, you are really responsive!" Julien giggled, his eyes flicking up to meet mine. "Makes me feel a lot better about being completely inexperienced. Guess it's been a long time since you've had this kind of treatment." "Uh, yeah, it's been about... since never!" I panted. He paused, lips tantalizingly close to my cock. "Never?" he whispered. "I mean... literally, from anyone? She never...?" I shook my head. "It's almost like my body grosses her out, and she just... puts up with it once in a while for intercourse." His expression twisted in both commiseration and anger. His fist tightened around my shaft, and he suddenly looked determined. "It's about time you got the treatment you deserve, Cody. You deserve it! Not just to be kissed, and licked, and sucked... but to have someone who wants to. Someone who thinks your body is yummy, and wants every inch of it." I gasped as he grinned and dove back down to slaver all over my hard-on, pressing his mouth hungrily against my most private bits, as greedily as a toddler with a cupcake. It was true - he wasn't just doing me a favour. As with his kisses, he was giving me this treatment because he desired it. He desired me. I fought not to squirm beneath him. There was no technique to what he did. He just licked me raw, nuzzled me, kissed me, and slid as much of me inside his mouth as he could get. I lost track of the wild noises of approval I was making, but Julien looked blissfully happy and proud as he went about his oral labours. My hands groped for something to grab onto; the pleasure was almost too much to handle. I twisted the sheets in my fists and groaned. Her Brother Ch. 02 I woke up slowly and squinted at the digital clock next to my bed: 7:48. Why was I awake so early on a Saturday? I almost groaned with annoyance, ready to press my pillow over my face, but an abrupt jolt shot through me as the memory of yesterday flooded my brain. Julien! I sat up very quickly, pillow tumbling aside, and looked around. I was alone in the bed I'd shared with Lisette up until last night, when her little brother had thoroughly usurped her place. Never in history, I imagined, had a usurper been so welcome, so appreciated, or so needed. His absence worried me for a few moments. What if none of it had really happened? I dove down to smell the pillows and sheets, looking for traces of him, and my hand brushed something soft and fuzzy. From beneath a twist of blanket I pulled a teddy bear - Julien's teddy bear - and I grinned, feeling a flood of joy and sweetness wash over me. I flopped back down on the bed, pressed the bear against my face, inhaled, and moaned softly at Julien's now familiar scent. My Julien. Julien Labelle... Julien the Beautiful. Where had my beautiful boy gone? I tucked his bear beneath my arm and left the bedroom. The bathroom was empty. I looked around the kitchen and living room, and didn't see him, but then I heard a shuffling noise from behind the kitchen island. "Jules?" His tousled head popped up above the island, and I grinned. "Looking for something?" I chuckled. He shut the door of the cupboard he'd been rifling through, and his cheeks reddened. He returned my smile after a few moments. The pretty, playful lines of his sexy pink mouth made me salivate, and I even felt my cock rise a little. "I wanted to make you pancakes," he said bashfully, "but I can't find anything remotely pancake-friendly." I felt as if I could melt into a big warm puddle on the floor. "Oh... could you be any sweeter?" I breathed, coming around the island to get close to him. I was disappointed to see him wearing pyjama pants, but it made sense considering we didn't know when Lise might be returning. I pushed his teddy bear against his chest and then pulled him close, hugging him with the bear squished between us. Julien giggled, his fingers digging into my bare back. I kissed his cheek. "I guess my sister isn't likely to buy pancake mix," he whispered. "Not 'wholesome' enough." "True. And if there's flour, it's gonna be that gross chunky multigrain stuff. Plus we've got nothing good to put on them. But you're absolutely the cutest guy ever for wanting to make me pancakes." I kissed his other cheek. "It's not too late. We could pop over to the grocery around the corner... grab some pancake mix... butter... syrup... and a big pack of bacon." Julien's eyes widened steadily, along with his smile. "Yes, pancakes and bacon!" he crowed, bouncing a like an excited kid. He gripped my bare ass cheeks with a playful growl. "Will you go to the store like this?" "I don't think anyone else is gonna appreciate that!" I laughed. "Of course they will," he insisted, kissing my neck, licking me, and nibbling at my shoulder. "You're adorable and sexy." He pressed firmly against me and giggled. "And... um... apparently kinda turned on...?" I shivered. My cock seemed to respond very quickly to anything Julien's mouth did to any part of me. "I can't help it around you, cutie. Anyway, if we're going out together, it's you everyone's going to be gazing and and appreciating, no matter what I'm wearing or not wearing. You are the most gorgeous creature alive. I'm just... well, 'average' is probably being generous." Julien's rich, deep hazel eyes fixed on mine, the green flecks in them seeming almost to glimmer. He looked wounded, and my good cheer quickly melted at the prospect that I'd said something hurtful. "Jules...?" I whispered. "C'mere," he said, grasping my hand and pulling me. His bear landed on the kitchen floor, forgotten. He stood me at the bathroom sink, hung onto my arm, and pointed at my reflection in the mirror. "Tell me what you see, Cody." I glanced over my naked self and sighed. "A kinda dumpy guy with a really hot little boyfriend...?" "No, Cody!" he moaned, pressing his face against my shoulder. "Really look, okay? Tell me what you see!" I shut my eyes for a few moments and then looked at myself again. "Brown hair, nondescript haircut... bluish-grayish eyes," I mumbled, cataloguing my features dispassionately. "Slightly crooked nose. Square face. I dunno, Julien... a mouth? A normal one. Slightly hairy but not-that-hairy chest. Flabby gut, flabby arms, flabby everything. Totally unremarkable cock. And such." Cody wrapped his arms around me from behind and peeked over my shoulder. "Let me tell you what I see, okay? I see hair that begs to be grabbed and ruffled... a handsome, honest face... a cute nose that's perfect in its imperfection, and one I plan to kiss at least a hundred million times. I see a warm smile that makes me melt. I see a sweet, cuddly, teddy bear body that feels absolutely perfect when it's wrapped around me, a body I wouldn't change for the world. And I see a cock that makes my mouth water... a cock that was inside me last night, that popped my cherry. I see the only cock I want in the whole world. And... one that's already getting a little hard again...." His tone turned playful as his mouth curled into a grin. One of his hands slid down my belly and grasped my thickening penis, squeezing it gently. "Julien," I breathed. My cheeks were warming. "How do you make me feel so good?" "It's not me. I'm just helping you see what's really there. You've been looking at yourself through Lisette's eyes. My sister's never impressed with anyone but herself. It makes her feel better to pick other people apart, and she's not going to treat you that way anymore. Because you're mine now. Mine!" I grinned as he squeezed my cock more firmly and dug his teeth into my shoulder. "You're extra cute when you get possessive," I laughed. I pulled him around to stand in front of me, making him face the mirror. "Look - who's that?" Julien cocked his hips to one side, and then the other, duckfacing and squinting at his reflection critically, making me laugh even more. "Pretty decent-looking guy," he concluded. "Scrawny, but not unsexy." I squeezed his almost nonexistent love handles. "You'd use less syllables if you just said 'sexy'. It's basically the same thing as 'not unsexy'." "Okay, I know a double negative is bad grammar and everything, but it just sounded slightly more humble!" I laughed and pulled him tightly against my body, cuddling him close. He grinned and let his head rest back against my shoulder, mashing his cheek against mine. "Yunno, Cody... all I really wanted was for you to start to see what I see, and admit that you're 'not unsexy' yourself. Possibly even full-on 'sexy'." I turned my head to kiss his cheek, and he quickly manoeuvred to try to meet my lips. Finally he squirmed away from my snug grip to rotate his whole body toward mine. "That was an awkward angle to make out at," he informed me before throwing his arms around my neck and plunging his tongue past my lips. I moaned and ran my hands up and down the soft, smooth skin of his back, darting my tongue out to spar with his. My cock was really starting to rise now, and I seized Julien by his skinny hips and hefted him onto the countertop, knocking over several of Lise's hair products. He wrapped his legs around my waist and clung to me. I smiled as I kissed him, and slowly began to rub my hardening dick against the smaller bulge in his soft pyjama pants. "Fu-u-uck," he whispered. I grinned and bit his bottom lip, humping him a bit more firmly. "Like that, little guy?" His arms tightened around my neck, his legs around my waist. His pelvis jerked to meet my thrusts, and soon we were both panting like out-of-shape joggers. His body was so tight around me that he was barely even sitting on the counter anymore. I clamped my hands snugly under his bottom and lifted him a little, shuffling back from the counter. "Whoa," I breathed with a slight tremor. "Do you think we could... have sex like this?" He threw his head back, his mouth hanging open with ecstasy. He was still humping me. "Unnhh! S-so hot! Could you... h-hold me for long?" I grunted, not so much with sexual passion now as with pure physical effort. "Dang... probably not." Julien noticed I was struggling and dropped his legs, sliding to the ground. "Oh well," he panted. "It was a nice idea." I leaned down to kiss him and ruffled his hair, releasing that sweet apple-y scent I had noticed the first day we'd met. It still released clouds of tiny butterflies deep within my stomach. "Hey - it still is. Present tense. Good motivation for me to get myself in better shape!" "Aw, man, you don't have to.... Wait, did you say 'dang' a second ago?" He smirked. "Um, yes?" "Who says 'dang'?" he laughed, poking me in the belly. "Come on, Cody - you don't need to follow my sister's rules. Fucking swear, dammit!" "Well, damn!" I laughed along with him. "I guess you're fucking right, you cute little bastard." He threw his arms around my neck and kissed me aggressively, seeming to really get off on 'corrupting' me. I grinned against his mouth and started rubbing my cock against him again, pushing him up against the nearest wall. "Mmm... mmmm.... Pancakes!" he blurted out between kisses. "Bacon!" "Right!" I gasped, releasing him and taking a few moments to catch my breath and let my hard-on settle down a little. "Whew!" "We'd better put some clothes on before we get carried away. I mean, I'd love you to fuck me all day long, but we do need to refuel in between." "Your logic is sound, little bro." He slapped a hand over his mouth and stifled a laugh. "Oh shit, that sounds so wrong." "What, you don't want to be my little brother?" I teased. "C'mon now, it was your idea. Remember last night, when we were ordering pizza? You said I was the best brother ever." "Yeah," he agreed, leaning close to me. He put his lips next to my ear and whispered: "And then we sucked each other's dicks... and you put yours up my little virgin ass... bro." I shivered. My cock throbbed. "True. So either we drop the 'brother' thing, or we're just really inappropriate brothers." "I'll think about it." He gave my bare ass a smack before scurrying off to go find some clothes. We romped to the grocery store around the corner with all the boisterousness of two young boys intoxicated with the freedom of summer vacation and up to no good. We bumped hips and laughed wildly, shoving each other back and forth, squeezing each other's shoulders, and messing each other's hair. Once in a while we just quieted and smiled at one another with the restrained glee of a shared secret. His heartbreakingly beautiful smile still made my pulse quicken, and I hoped it always would. I couldn't remember ever feeling such pure joy before. It was like I'd spent years in some kind of stasis, and now I was finally fully alive. With Lisette I'd closed up, shrunk back, buried all of myself deep inside to follow after her like a dog. Released from her leash, I was opening up like a blossom and finding my colours again, and I liked who I was. I no longer felt I had to struggle just to be barely adequate as a human being. Lisette's version of "love" had torn my self-esteem apart, and in her brother's hands I was weaving myself back together, and feeling stronger than ever. Julien, too, was blossoming. Only a day ago he'd seemed so shy and withdrawn, and so heartbroken. As we spent time together I had the privilege of seeing his true personality unfolding bit by bit. I remembered thinking when I'd first laid eyes on him that there was an entire world buried behind his beautiful hazel eyes and alluring, barely-there smile, and now - lucky me! - I was inside that magnificent world and exploring it. I was staring at him so hard I nearly walked into a signpost, and Julien yanked on my arm just in time. "Smooth move, Ex-Lax," he snorted, raising an eyebrow at me. "I do find your crooked nose endearing, but it probably doesn't need to be any crookeder." "You're probably right." I leaned close to him and lowered my voice. "I guess you'd better stop being so adorable. You're too much of a distraction." He stuck his tongue out at me. "As if I could even begin to stop!" He then launched into an off-key rendition of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way", complete with spontaneous choreography, for which I had to give him a firm noogie. We were walking into the store now and quickly quieted ourselves as we were already drawing stares with our laughter and light horseplay. "Let's be grown-ups now," Julien whispered loudly. "Grown-ups who sleep with stuffed animals," I reminded him. "Of course. Nothing wrong with that." "Nothing at all." We stifled another round of giggles as we wandered over to the packaged meat section and perused the bacon options. "So what is up with your nose anyway?" he asked casually as he examined a package. "Did you break it when you were a kid? Or were you just... as the song says... 'bo-orn this waaaay'?" I smiled at the fact that he felt comfortable enough to ask. Most people wouldn't. "Yeah, I broke it once, and it didn't set quite right. There isn't any real interesting story behind it or anything. I was just going through a clumsy phase during a preteen growth spurt, and literally fell on my face while running around outside. It was pretty embarrassing." He poked me in my side with a grin. "I think it's adorable," he whispered. "It's adorable that I fell on my face for no good reason?" "Well, only in retrospect," he laughed. "If I were there, I probably would have been cradling you in my arms and screaming for a doctor." "If you were there, you would have been about five years old," I snickered. "Nonetheless." He furrowed his brow at a bacon packet. "What the fuck is up with everything being applewood smoked these days? Does one wood make the meat taste better than another wood?" "I have no idea. Let's just get something middle-of-the-road." I seized one that seemed basic without being overly cheap. "Okay, works for me. Now where do we find pancake mix? Breakfast aisle or baking supplies?" "My heart says breakfast." Julien bumped his hip against mine as we walked. "My heart says 'Cody'. If you listen to it right now it's not going 'ba-dump, ba-dump'. It's going 'Co-dy, Co-dy, Co-dy'...." He patted a hand against his sternum with each melodramatic syllable. I grinned and bit my lip, consistently disarmed by his adorable nerdiness. He reached up and tried to kiss me, but I sobered and shied away, reflexively glancing around to see if anyone had witnessed his gesture. His smile faded. We paused near the end of an aisle, frozen in an awkward moment. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his eyes dropping. I could see him struggling, trying hard to be okay with the idea that I wasn't ready to be 'with him' in an obviously public way. "I...," I stammered, somewhat at a loss. "Hey, Jules. I... no, I'm the one that should be sorry." "No, no," he protested, shaking his head quickly. "I get it. It's okay, honestly. I've always... you know... known who I was. This is new for you. I shouldn't expect you to be like, 'look at me, world, I sleep with men!' without even a day to process the whole thing." Again I was tempted to look around to make sure we weren't overheard, but I resisted this time. "It's not exactly that," I sighed, squishing the packet of bacon between my hands anxiously. "I'm not... embarrassed to be with a guy or anything. It's just that this is my neighbourhood, and I haven't officially broken up with Lise yet, and if people recognize me.... I dunno. I'm worried about people thinking I'm a cheater, or some kind of man-whore, not about people thinking I'm gay." His eyes flicked back up to mine, and I watched him attempt to process the logic of what I'd just said. "Oh... you know what? Fuck it!" I exclaimed, leaning down and planting a kiss on him. "There. I don't care. I'm with you now, and I'm never gonna be with her again. That's that. Deal with it, world!" Julien's mouth spread into one of his most captivating smiles yet. His whole face lit up, the green and gold flecks in his hazel eyes sparkling and shining. He wrapped his arms around my middle and leaned on me. I hugged him tightly, right there in the grocery store, with the pack of bacon pressed against his back. People may or may not have seen us. If they did, no one bothered us. If they cared, I didn't. "That's cold," he whispered. "Oh... sorry," I chuckled, letting go of him so the cold packet was no longer on his back. "Omigod - look!" he exclaimed, pointing past me. "Hmm?" I turned around to see what he was gesturing to, and saw that the display at the end of the aisle we were standing near was an extravaganza of Oreos. It seemed like fate. I grabbed a pack, and then, after a moment, a second one. "Hell yeah! We should have gotten a basket." "I'll take those!" he giggled, grabbing the Oreo packages and leaving me with just the bacon, and we moved on to locate pancake mix, syrup, and butter. We even grabbed a carton of 2% milk, purely because Lisette had only ever allowed me to drink nonfat. Ten minutes later we were back home, and both of us instinctively quieted, knowing that Lise might be in the apartment. We looked at each other and didn't need to discuss it. I went in first, glancing around anxiously. To our collective relief, we were still alone. I watched Julien carefully untie and remove his shoes. His well-worn Chuck Taylors looked as abused and neglected as any teenage boy's sneakers, but it seemed likely that their appearance was only an expression of their age and not of recklessness. Julien treated them with a certain reverence that I found charming. He was sentimental about them, as he was about his teddy bear. Both were connections with his ex-best-friend, whom he'd long hoped would be his boyfriend. "Can I see your prom picture again?" I asked. He looked up at me curiously. I couldn't blame him for being confused about his new boyfriend's motive for wanting to look at a romantic picture of him with his high school crush. He pulled out his phone, found the picture, and handed it to me. I gazed at the sight of my sweet Julien looking ravishingly handsome in a tux, with the charmingly incongruous Chuck Taylors on his feet, matching the pair worn by his equally handsome date. They looked like they were having the time of their lives. I wondered what it would have been like to be the one to dance with Julien at his prom. As an introvert I'd never felt especially comfortable with the idea of dancing in public, or with being at any venue or event where such activities were expected. Lisette had often forced me far out of my comfort zone during our relationship; with Julien, I was sure he wouldn't ask me to do anything that might make me uncomfortable, but at the same time, the way I felt about him made me want to volunteer. "Do you think I should delete it?" he asked. I looked up at him, surprised. He had a worried look on his face. "I've been thinking maybe I should just purge everything about Miles from my life," he continued, looking down and giving his sneakers a little kick. "After the way he hurt me, don't you think it might be sort of twisted that I'm still holding onto these pieces of him so hard? The picture, the bear... even my Chucks." "No - no, of course not!" I replied, pulling him close so I could hold him. "It's not twisted. You don't keep these things because of how he hurt you. You keep them because of the good times they remind you of, right?" I felt him nod against my shoulder. "I just didn't want you to feel hurt if I'm still thinking about another guy and how much I liked him." Her Brother Ch. 02 "I'm not hurt," I whispered against his head, breathed in the fragrance of his hair, and gave the top of his head a little kiss. I inhaled him, savouring that now familiar sweet scent, reminiscent of apples. "These things, and the memories attached to them... they're not pieces of Miles, they're pieces of you. They're experiences you've had that have brought you to where you are now, and you shouldn't try to pretend they never existed. I love your shoes, and I love your bear, and I love that picture of you. You look so sexy. The two of you looked gorgeous together! It really doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I'd really like a copy of it, if you would send it to me." His fingers dug into my back. "Cody... you're so nice! Of course. I'll send it to you." I nuzzled him aggressively until he turned his head to allow me a kiss. I sucked at his sweet lips and tongue until I was getting hard all over again, and for a second time he had to remind me, giggling, of pancakes. "Damn, you are such an effective distraction!" I teased, grabbing him by the hips and giving him a little wiggle before ushering him to the kitchen. He texted me a copy of his prom photo as I organized the breakfast supplies, and then we both got to work. I fried up the bacon in a big skillet while he whipped up the pancakes. I noticed him trying to make unusual shapes as he spooned the batter into the hot pan. "What are you up to?" I chuckled. "I'm trying to spell your name," he sighed. "It's not going very well. It's really hard to make an 'O' without it just turning into a normal pancake... and the 'D' looks almost the same as the 'O'." "The effort is enough to melt my heart, little bro," I laughed, bumping my hip against his. "You're so cute." He flipped one leg back and swung it aside to thump his foot carelessly against my butt. "I can almost be romantic. There, look - the 'C' isn't too bad! Maybe I'll just let that be enough. 'C' for 'Cody'. And 'cute', and 'cuddly', and 'cock'." "A-plus!" I congratulated him, still laughing heartily. "It's like 'Sesame Street', except really inappropriate." "'C' is for 'Cody', that's good enough for me!" he sang in a growly Muppet voice to the tune of Cookie Monster's iconic anthem, "C is for Cookie". I was howling by this point, and close to tears. Julien was set off purely by the force of my amusement, and we laughed throughout most of the remainder of our breakfast preparation, interrupted occasionally by the need for kisses. We sat on the living room sofa to eat, because there was no one to tell us not to. We stuffed ourselves with crispy bacon and fluffy pancakes dripping with butter and thick syrup. Even the milk was a rich treat - I'd been stuck with nonfat for so long that I'd forgotten what milk was supposed to taste like. We had seconds, and even thirds, and by the time we were ready to surrender our plates, all we could do was groan and languidly cuddle on the sofa. "I think I could die happy now," Julien mumbled, the side of his face smushed against my chest. "Please don't," I protested lazily. "I've grown attached to you." "Okay. So what should we do now, while we're still alone?" My hand slid slowly down and cupped his soft cock and balls. "I feel like that question deserves a sexual answer, but I'm soooo full." "Me too. Seriously, it's okay. I wouldn't want to get motion sickness." I chuckled as much as my laziness would allow. Julien was the first to gather the strength to move. He reluctantly peeled himself from my bloated body and staggered over to dig through one of his boxes. "Is it 'Game of Thrones' time, do you think?" he asked. "Or I could set up my Wii, and we could play some 'Mario Kart' or something." I voted for the former option, not having energy for much other than lying back and passively watching a screen. We enjoyed a lengthy cuddle in front of the TV, with Julien tucked affectionately under my arm, at times wrapping an arm around my chest and practically crawling into my lap. The sensation of him clinging to me was deeply satisfying. He constantly assured me in tacit gestures of his genuine feeling for me. The sweetness of these small gestures highlighted everything that had been missing in my relationship with Lisette. This was what I wanted in a relationship - just being able to sprawl out on the sofa with someone, cuddle, relax, and bask, while Lise always wanted to go somewhere, have drinks, and be social, during which I mainly waited on the sidelines, babysitting her purse and awaiting the fulfillment of my designated driver duties. In retrospect I found it hard to comprehend that I'd let myself become such a doormat, and even worse, that I'd been made to feel fortunate to be her doormat. "Is it just me, or is this absolutely perfect?" I whispered, squeezing him closer to me and nuzzling his soft hair. "So perfect," he sighed. His legs tangled with mine in delicious knots. "I need every Saturday morning to be like this from now on." We were into the third episode of "Game of Thrones" when Lisette came home. We disentangled ourselves from one another and sat up. I paused the show, knowing she wouldn't abide it. I felt very suddenly tense and nervous as I heard her footsteps, and the distinctive jingle of her keys, which I hadn't realized had become familiar until this moment. I spared Julien a quick glance. He had hunched up his shoulders and crossed his arms, closing himself off. He had come out of his shell so much since we'd been alone together, but now, he was once again the shy little teenager, accustomed to being steamrolled every time he tried to stand up for himself. I felt sorry for him. We had both been victims of Lisette's narcissistic need for excessive control. I could not comprehend how much worse it must have been for Julien to grow up with her, as well as a mother whose temperament was similar to Lisette's. She walked in with a set expression on her face. Her hair was gathered up into the casual bun I recognized as her "bad hair day" style. Wherever she'd spent last night, she hadn't had her hair dryer or arsenal of products. She carried several shopping bags, apparently having spent her morning indulging in a little retail therapy. She set her bags on the kitchen island and looked over the mess we'd left, her expression growing steadily less and less impressed. "Hi," I ventured after a tense pause. "Don't worry, we'll clean it up later. You doing okay?" She looked at the mess for a few moments longer, and then shifted her gaze to me. There was something unusual in her expression. It was almost as if I could see cracks forming across her meticulously composed facade of perfection. "Lise?" I urged. "Are we going to talk?" She pursed her lips for a few moments before speaking. "The whole apartment smells like bacon. Are you just totally letting yourself go now? We have one little fight, and you just let yourself go?" I almost laughed. The pure absurdity of her characterizing her unapologetic infidelity as a "little fight" tickled me, as did her perception of my consumption of bacon as a sign of my descent into a life of reckless hedonism, but I managed to keep my composure. "We just had a nice Saturday brunch. We ate what we wanted. People do that sometimes." She spotted one of the packs of Oreos and grabbed for it, holding it up as if she'd found evidence of a crime. "And what's this?" Now I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes. "Hookers and blow, Lise." Julien sputtered behind his hands, unable to hold back a sudden burst of laughter. I shot him a little grin. "That's not funny," Lisette replied, glaring at both of us. "We think it is," I chuckled. "Come on - they're cookies. We didn't rob a bank." "Well, what exactly did you do, Cody? You I obviously didn't take Julien for a haircut like I asked you." "I don't want a haircut!" Julien cut in. "He doesn't want a haircut," I reiterated. Lisette let out a curt puff of breath through her nose, reminding me of an indignant horse. "Somehow I figured you wouldn't be able to handle the simplest task, so I went shopping for Julien myself." She grabbed two of her shopping bags and came over to place them in front of her brother. "Those are some job interview clothes for you, and a proper pair of shoes. Try them on to make sure they fit." Julien glanced at the bags, and then up at his sister. The laughter that had seized him moments ago had disappeared in a hurry. I watched him, and could see him struggling between two clashing needs: one to establish his independence, and the other to avoid what he knew would be a bitter quarrel. "Take them back, please," he finally said, his voice quiet but firm. She stared him down. I recognized her desperation to gain control of a situation in which she had no upper hand. "Try them on, Julien. Don't argue with me." He sucked in a deep breath and sat back on the sofa, bringing his knees up against his chest. "I don't have to do what you say. If I need clothes, I'll get them myself. I'm not a little kid, and I won't be treated like one." I was proud of him. "You do need them, and so far you haven't taken any initiative," Lisette retorted, pulling a shoebox out of one of the bags. "At least try the shoes. No one's going to hire you in those grotty sneakers. This is about your future, Julien. Don't be so stubborn when I'm trying to help you." "Take them back!" he insisted, furrowing his brow. "I didn't ask for your help." "Julien!" she snapped. "You wouldn't be living here in my apartment if you didn't need my help. It's why you're here, and for mama's sake if nothing else, you're to mind me. Now, for heaven's sake! You haven't even looked at the shoes!" Her attention shifted to me. "Cody, help me out here." I raised my eyebrows, not expecting her to genuinely think I was still at her beck and call after everything that had gone down. "Uh... I'm with him on this one. He doesn't need them, and he didn't ask for them." I almost added that it was our apartment, not her apartment, but I certainly didn't want it to be ours now. Her eyes flashed. "Why are you being so difficult?" I stood up from the sofa and faced her squarely. "I'm not difficult, Lise. I'm just a man, who's allowed to have his own opinion. And so is your brother. You're treating him like a child, and he's right not to put up with it. Meanwhile, you've treated me like your little lackey for our entire relationship, and I'm well past putting up with that." "A lackey!" she exclaimed, setting her hands on her hips. "Isn't that a bit melodramatic?" "No, it isn't, but smashing someone's iPad is!" I returned, my voice escalating toward actual anger. "Not to mention sleeping around on your boyfriend and thinking it's equivalent to him watching porn! Just who were you with last night, huh? Tell me, who was your retaliatory lay?" "Don't you dare talk to me like that!" she hissed, pointing an accusatory finger at me. "Who'd you fuck, Lise?" Her jaw fell open. I'd never dropped an f-bomb in front of her before. "Was it worth it?" I pressed. "Was it worth fucking some other guy to try to teach me some kind of sick lesson? I can tell you for certain, all I've learned through this is just how much of a heinous bitch you are!" For once in her life, Lisette the Beautiful didn't know what to say. Again I saw her facade begin to crumble, and she suddenly turned to flee to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. I let out a long breath and slowly sat back down on the sofa. After a few moments, I turned to look at Julien. He was still hugging his knees, but now he let go of them to give me a quiet round of applause. "You don't think 'heinous bitch' was too much?" I asked, feeling a bit unsteady. I'd never lost my temper with someone before, and I wasn't sure how I felt about myself in the aftermath. "If anything, it wasn't enough." We were quiet for a bit, and then he uncurled himself and returned to my arms. I cuddled him close to my body. I could feel both of our hearts thumping between us. My own pulse throbbed in my ears. "Are you okay?" I whispered. "This is pretty intense." "Yeah, I'm okay. I just wish she was out of our lives. I can't believe we're related. I'm scared I'll never be rid of her." I gave him a snug squeeze. "We'll get through this. I probably should try to finish talking things out with her. I need to make sure she knows things are totally over between us. She might actually still think she's going to make me grovel." Julien sighed and kissed my cheek. "All right. I'll take care of the breakfast dishes. You've got enough of a chore ahead of you." "That's really sweet of you, Jules." I kissed his nose, and ruffled his soft hair. "Do I have your permission to tell her about us... if the conversation goes in that direction?" He nodded. "I don't want to hide anything." "Me neither. I'm glad we have that in common." We kissed once, softly, and then went our separate ways. I slipped inside the bedroom and closed the door again. Lisette was curled up on the bed with her back to me. I could see at once that she was crying. I didn't enjoy the feeling of making someone cry. I had to put in an effort not to feel sorry for her. I told myself that she was probably putting on a show deliberately to make me feel regret, because she was intimately familiar with my emotional patterns. All the same, I couldn't bring myself to be cruel. Not yet, at least. "Lise," I said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed, "tell me one thing. Please? Was last night the first time you cheated on me?" She sniffled. "Yes. Of course it was. I only did it because you hurt me so much." "By watching porn?" "Yes! I was devastated that you'd be so unfaithful to me." She shook with a few quiet sobs. I sighed. "You know, I really am sorry about that. Not because I think it was wrong, but because I promised you I wouldn't, and I did it anyway. I would like to be a man who keeps his promises. All I can say is... I did it because I felt stifled. I don't want to be one of these guys that's like, 'I'm a man, and I have needs', but... really, it was getting impossible for me to live within your restrictions. I didn't just watch porn, Lise. I jerked off whenever I could have a little privacy from you. I needed the release. I have a lot of libido, and you rarely ever seemed interested! Even when we did stuff, you barely seemed to enjoy it. I don't understand why you even wanted to be in a relationship with me." She curled up tighter, and continued to cry. "Cody," she finally sobbed after a couple of minutes, "am I bad at sex?" I balked at the question, not having expected her to be so vulnerable. "Um... well... you don't really, uh... put any effort into it, I guess. You just... lie there like you're getting a doctor's exam. Maybe that's enough for some people, but... I guess most guys would kind of like to know that you actually feel something for them." I paused. "Did last night's... activities... not go so well?" She sniffed a few times. "He was really into me. But when we got into it... he was, like... annoyed with me!" "Did he hurt you?" "No, nothing like that. He was just kind of ticked off. He called me 'frigid'. Said I was like a 'dead fish'. Am I that bad?" I sighed deeply. I actually did feel some pity for her. She'd put herself on a very high pedestal, and until yesterday, I'd helped keep her up there. She only felt secure as long as she had full control, and somehow, in her twisted mind, she had genuinely thought that having sex with another man would help her regain the control she needed. Perhaps she'd expected that I would be so hurt by her infidelity that I would become desperate to gain back her faithfulness, and it seemed to have backfired on her... badly. "Lise, I don't think I'm the right person to talk to right now if you're wanting someone to make you feel better." She moaned and hugged a pillow against her chest. "I'm just really worried now...." "Worried about what exactly?" She didn't answer for a while, and when she finally did, I barely heard her tiny voice: "My job." "Your job...?" I repeated, brow furrowing. "You were with... someone from work?" I sucked in a breath and cringed. "Oh... oh no, Lise. Tell me you didn't sleep with your boss!" She whimpered and hugged her pillow tighter. "You didn't!" She gave a small nod. "Isn't he married?" I exclaimed. "Doesn't he have kids?!" She burst into a fresh bout of sobs, pressing her face into the sheets and wailing. "Goddamn!" I marvelled, standing up and running my fingers through my hair. "I'm so done. This is disgusting. You're disgusting." "Cody!" she wailed, as if she couldn't believe I would be so unkind. "No, I have no sympathy for you anymore," I replied flatly. "I'm not going to coddle your tears and tell you it's all right. I'm actually embarrassed to have ever been your boyfriend." "Huh-how can you say that?" she wailed, rolling over to face me. She was red and blotchy, and her eyes were streaming steadily. "I need you right now, Cody!" "You really expect me to feel sorry for you?" I scoffed. "I'm in a lot of pain right now," she whimpered. "It wasn't easy for me to deal with my boss having feelings for me. And you think I feel good about the fact that he has a wife and kids? Because I don't! But he said such sweet things to me, Cody, and then he turned so cold after we did it - it was very traumatizing!" "Boo hoo," I said cynically, shaking my head. "No, Lise - whatever problems your sleazy little affair is going to cause you in the long term will be all yours to figure out on your own. I'm done with you." "Cody... please!" she blubbered, reaching for me. "We don't have to break up. We can work through this!" "Are you fucking kidding me?" I exclaimed, making her flinch and gasp. I backed away from her. "We were over the moment you decided to 'see other people'. I've already moved on." "What do you mean?" she squeaked out. "I mean we both saw other people last night, and it seems mine worked out a lot better than yours." Lisette's mouth contracted into a tight little line, and she turned off the waterworks almost instantly. "Who were you with?" I swallowed and took a deep breath. "I was with Julien." "No, I mean who...." She stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes narrowed, and her voice dropped nearly a full octave. "What?" I lowered my eyes for a few moments, and then fixed them on hers again, stalwartly, nodding. "I know it's not something you'll want to hear, but... yeah. We're kind of an item since last night." Her face was a caricature of fury. "No. No way. You did NOT hook up with my little brother." "I did, though." "That's not funny!" she hollered, her voice nearly a shriek. "You're not gay!" "Well, it seems quite apparent that I'm at least bi." "You're mocking me!" "I'm really not. It happened. And I think he's the best thing that ever happened to me." She breathed in short, forceful huffs for a few moments before leaping off of the bed and rushing toward the door. I tried to get in her way, but she darted past me. "What did you do?!" she screamed at Julien, who was washing dishes in the kitchen. She charged up to him, and he retreated, looking genuinely frightened. They rounded the island, facing off with one another. Julien's hands were dripping with soapy water. "What did you do to my boyfriend?" she demanded, fuming and glaring at him across the countertop. I stood midway between them, caught between rushing to Julien's side and moving to stop Lise from advancing toward him any further. I watched Julien's reaction. His chin trembled a little, but his eyes were bold. "We made love," he said softly, his eyes shifting to mine. I wanted to make love to him again, right that very moment. I remembered how he'd giggled at me last night for calling it "making love", and insisted we call it "fucking". It certainly had been fucking, but it had also been love, and we both knew it. Her Brother Ch. 02 "And he's not your boyfriend," he added, returning his attention to Lisette. "He's mine." Lisette shook her head slowly, seething. "This is really sick," she said in a low, trembling voice. "I don't know if the two of you are just messing with me, but either way, it's really, really sick." She began yelling at Julien in French, and he shook his head vehemently. "Stop!" he shouted over her. "I'm not listening to you! English only!" Lisette's head whipped around to face me. "You really had... sex... with him?" she hissed, her expression twisting with horror. "Yes." "You have the nerve to call me disgusting, when you had gay sex with my own brother?" "What exactly do you think is disgusting?" I challenged. "That it was your brother, or that it was gay?" "Uh, both!" she shot back. "You're both perverted and you're going to hell!" "Sure, and you think God saves a special pair of angel wings for a woman who'll sleep with a man who has a wife and children?" "Ew! Lise, you're horrible!" Julien exclaimed. "You're one to talk! You corrupted my boyfriend!" "He didn't 'corrupt' me," I cut in. "I made the first move." "I don't believe that for a moment," Lisette hissed, shifting her intense glare toward me. "My brother is a manipulative little pervert. I'm sure he made you think you made the first move. You're weak-willed, gutless, and naive!" I gritted my teeth. "I was when I was with you," I said in a low, dark tone. "You need a guy with no backbone. And that's not me anymore. Julien makes me feel like I'm a worthwhile person, a whole man who deserves respect. We both deserve respect, Lisette. So back off... and let's just make a clean break of things." "You both deserve respect?" she repeated, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "That's cute. Wait till my back is turned, fool around with my own brother, and then tell me I'm a disgusting person? I can't even believe what a hypocrite you are." "Exactly how am I the hypocrite? You're the one who opened things up for 'seeing other people' - it was your idea, and you were obviously off having your little affair well before I had Julien in bed!" "Uuugghhh!" Lisette groaned, her face scrunching in disgust. "You did it in our own bed? I'm going to vomit!" "Bet it was the best sex that ever happened in your bed," Julien retorted. Lisette lunged around the island toward him, but Julien rounded in the opposite direction. It would have been like a bizarre cartoon had there been anything funny to me about the situation. "Stop it, Lise!" I called out, feeling that I needed to end this feud but helpless to figure out how. I wanted to physically restrain Lisette to prevent her from hurting Julien, but would that be construed as assault at this point? Would she actually harm him? Before I could reach any conclusions, her steps were hampered as she tripped over something. When she saw what it was, she reached down quickly to pick it up. It was Julien's teddy bear, which we had left lying on the floor near the kitchen this morning. She held it up by one furry ear. "Give that to me!" Julien said, his voice rising in panic. "You take my boyfriend, I take your bear - and I'll do whatever I like with the stupid thing!" she snarled. "Lisette, this is madness!" I exclaimed. "Give him back his bear." "Oh, sure. Whatever you like." She pulled a knife out of the nearby block and poised it at the bear's neck. "Are you insane?!" I cried. "Put down the goddamn knife and get a hold of yourself!" Julien was nearly beside himself, clearly wanting to rescue his teddy bear, but neither of us dared to approach her at this point. Lisette looked at both of us with challenge in her eyes, and then slashed with the knife, taking off most of the bear's head, exposing puffs of white stuffing. "LISE!" Julien screamed, charging toward her. She dropped both the knife and the wounded stuffed animal and dodged away, toward the apartment door. "Crazy bitch!" Julien hollered through clenched teeth as he gathered up his bear's remains. "Don't worry - we'll get him fixed," I promised, hurrying to his side to comfort him, but his attention was suddenly arrested by what Lise was doing over by the door. "Fuck, NO!" he cried, leaving the bear on the counter and pulling away from me to dash toward the doorway, where Lisette had just exited. I hadn't noticed what she was up to, but I followed them closely, and darted out into the hallway just in time to see Lisette shoving Julien's beloved Chuck Taylors down the garbage chute. "MY CHUCKS!" Julien screamed. In his rage, he descended to his native tongue, abandoning his commitment not to speak French around me: "Salope! Salope! Je te déteste! Fou - t'es malade mental!" I caught him just in time to restrain him from striking her. She stood haughtily with her arms crossed. "Tapette," she hissed. "Enculé!" "FUCK YOU!" he screamed, struggling against my arms. "Va te faire foutre!" she yelled back. "Shhh," I soothed into Julien's ear, not letting up on my tight grip as he began to shake and sob. "Shhh. This is going no further. Both of you - this is over. And don't think I won't call the cops if I have to." A neighbour opened his door a crack and peeked out to witness the commotion. "I'm sorry," I called out to the neighbour before pulling Julien back to our apartment. I gave Lisette a hard glare. "Back inside!" Incredibly, she obeyed me, finally looking a little chastened. "This is really embarrassing," I muttered. "We're not children." "I'm sorry, Cody," Julien whimpered between sobs. He turned his body around so he could hug me. I squeezed him tightly. "It's okay, Jules," I whispered. "I'll take care of everything." "So now what?" Lisette muttered, crossing her arms and leaning moodily against the kitchen island. "The two of you ride off into a rainbow?" "Lise," I said calmly, "I'm sorry you're hurt over this, but you're handling it very poorly. Take some time and calm down. You and your brother obviously don't need to be in each other's lives right now. I'm taking him out of here, right this minute. I'll be back in a bit, and we're going to talk through some things." She growled something incoherent and stalked back to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. I grabbed my keys, stepped into a pair of shoes, and offered Julien a pair of my own sneakers. They were too big for him, but they were something for the time being. It wasn't until we'd been on the road for a few minutes that he asked where we were going. I glanced briefly over at him. He'd been leaning against the window, softly crying and fogging up the glass. "Holiday Inn, little bro," I replied gently, resting a hand on his thigh. "Only the best for my guy." He sniffled and ran a sleeve across his wet face. "How long?" "Dunno. We'll have to figure out something. I can afford to put us up for a little while, but we'll need something more permanent as soon as possible." "'Us'...?" "Of course! You think I'd stay in that apartment with her now?" "I guess not." I squeezed and stroked his leg as comfortingly as I could. "It's gonna be you and me, Julien. That's what you want... isn't it? I don't want to railroad you. If there's someplace else you want me to take you...." "No! Oh, Cody, of course I want to stay with you!" he exclaimed, leaning over to rest on my shoulder instead of the window. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about all this. My sister brings out the worst in me. And I'm mourning over a stupid pair of shoes and a toy when I should be thanking you for helping me." "Don't worry about it," I soothed, turning to kiss the top of his head while we were stopped at a light. "And there's nothing stupid about the way you feel. I like that you're sentimental. Everything's going to get better now, okay? We'll make sure of it." "Thank you, Cody," he sighed. "Of course." We drove in silence for a few more minutes. I swung through a drive-thru to grab us a couple of burgers, as it had been a few hours since we'd eaten. At last I pulled into the Holiday Inn, and we sat in the car for a few minutes while we finished eating. I turned to Julien with hesitant curiosity. "Could I ask... what was it she said to you? 'Tapette' or something?" He crossed his arms and slumped over. "That means like... it's the same thing as 'faggot'. She basically called me a faggot and a cocksucker, or asshole, or whatever. And she told me to go fuck myself." I sighed harshly, feeling anger rise in the pit of my stomach. "So. She'll cuss in French, but not in English." "Basically, yeah." I shook my head in disbelief. "I'm so disgusted with myself for being with her. I feel like I should apologize to you. I don't know that I would be especially keen on someone who would date a person like her." After a few quiet moments, he leaned over and kissed my cheek, letting his soft lips linger there. "No, really... there's nothing you should feel sorry for," he whispered. "If it hadn't happened, how else would I have met you?" I hooked my hand around the back of his neck and leaned against the top of his soft head. "Thank you," I whispered back. "You're right. I hadn't thought of it that way. I guess everything happens for a reason." I rented a room for us, and helped Julien inside. He was still sulky and distant after the conflict with his sister, so I tucked him into bed and kissed his cheek. "I'll try to be back within a couple of hours," I whispered. "If I'm going to be any longer, I'll text you, okay?" "Okay." I watched him curled up there like a sad little boy, and it tugged achingly at my heartstrings to leave him, but I was reasonably confident I could make him happy again once I returned. Back at the apartment, my first stop was to visit the building superintendent, and beg access to the dumpsters in the basement. I told him something important had gotten thrown away by accident, though I wasn't sure if he believed me. Regardless, he was amenable to my request and I was overjoyed to find only one or two people had tossed trash bags down the chute since Julien's shoes had been thrown away. They were lying there neatly, almost on the top of the pile of trash, and all of the refuse in their vicinity was neatly bagged. The beloved Chuck Taylors were unsullied and available for the taking. I grabbed them and tucked them under my arm, thanking the super profusely for his help. I placed the shoes safely in my car before returning to the apartment. Lisette was still shut in the bedroom when I walked in. I didn't bother her at first, and instead focused on packing all of Julien's things. He hadn't unpacked much, so it was an easy job. I even remembered to toss the Oreo cookies into his backpack. I gathered up the remains of his brutally assaulted teddy bear and tucked them gingerly into a shopping bag. "What are you up to?" Lisette asked. I looked up from the pile of things I had moved piecemeal to the door, ready to be moved down to my car. She had opened the bedroom door about two inches and was peeking out at me. "Packing. I told you I was moving Julien out of here. I came back for his things. And I'm going to pack myself a suitcase." "What, you're moving in with him now?" she snorted. "After knowing him for like, a day? What kind of idiot are you?" "I'm just exploring options right now, Lise," I replied, trying hard to keep my temper from flaring up again. "For the time being, we're staying in a hotel. This obviously isn't a safe place for him, and it's certainly nowhere I want to be." "So you're moving out, just like that?" She opened the bedroom door wider and took a step out. "I'm moving out for good once I figure out a new place. I can't take everything I own with me at this very moment." "Find a way," she shot back. "Because if you leave this apartment now, I'm changing the locks. You're not getting back in." I clenched my jaw and glared at her, shaking my head slowly. "You'll do nothing of the sort." "You have no control over me!" "No, but I do have control over fifty percent of this apartment. My name's on the rental agreement. You have no legal right to keep me out, and if you withhold my personal possessions, don't think I won't do what's necessary." She gasped dramatically and put on an exaggerated expression of fear. "Ohhh, nooo! Sweet little Cody is going to 'do what's necessary'! I'm so scared!" "Grow up, Lisette," I muttered. "I'll come back for the rest of my things at a later date. And there's nothing you can do to stop me from doing that. I will get the police involved if you give me any trouble." "Well, look who's found a backbone," she quipped. "Yes. Exactly. Me." I walked toward her. "Excuse me, I need to get into the bedroom." "No you don't." "I need to get my clothes, Lise," I said, my tone escalating. "What are you going to gain from keeping them? Are you going to have some kind of ex-boyfriend garage sale? Burn them and have a little party? I know you're just trying to fuck with me, and it's incredibly insipid." "You know what's insipid? You suddenly swearing because you're all excited about copying my brother, and thinking you're so cool." "Not as insipid as pretending you're Miss Moral Superiority, and then only swearing in French so that no one knows it but your brother! I know what you called him, and I think you're a terrible person. Should I even mention again that you had an affair with a married guy? You've lost all integrity. Get out of my way!" She wedged herself in the doorway. "No. You want to leave, then leave. Leave now and don't come back." "It doesn't work that way, Lise! I wish it could be that simple, but we have an apartment together, and we're going to have to tie up a lot of loose ends. Can we please be grown-ups about this? Step aside and let me get my clothes." We stared each other down for at least a minute, and finally she backed down. "Fine. Get your stupid things. I could use the extra closet space!" I packed up a bag for myself and tried my hardest to ignore Lisette, who griped ceaselessly at me. When I was ready to leave, she followed me to the door. "If you do come back, bring Julien," she said, crossing her arms. "He belongs here. Our mother entrusted him to my care. You wouldn't tear a family apart." "No, Lise, but I wouldn't stop an eighteen-year-old from exercising his rights as a legal adult, and neither you nor your mother can stop him either." I picked up a couple of boxes and went down to pack them into my car. When I returned, she was still standing there with her arms crossed. "We still have four months left on our lease!" she exclaimed shrilly. "I know," I sighed, hefting up the remaining bags. They were almost too much for me to handle, and I knew I would have a sore back tomorrow, but I didn't want to face Lisette another time today. "I signed the lease, so I'll have continue to pay half rent. Or will I? Because there's also the fact that you're going to owe me half the cost of all the furniture you picked out that we both paid for. I doubt you'll give that over without a fight, so maybe we can just call it even. I know how much it all cost, and we both know you'd be getting the better part of the deal by keeping all the furniture. That sofa alone was almost three thousand!" "Get out!" she screamed. I stepped out, and she slammed the door behind me. I heard her locking it and sliding the chain in place. I breathed a sigh of relief, deciding that her response was as good as an agreement. I didn't plan on paying a cent more on rent for that apartment, and if she decided to get a lawyer, I figured I had a solid case about the furniture. After making one special stop, which took nearly an extra hour, I returned to the Holiday Inn and let myself into the room I'd rented for us. Julien was right where I'd left him, napping in the bed. He snored softly. I stood watching him for a minute or two, memorizing his long eyelashes, the curves of his cheekbones, the perfect outlines of his impossibly alluring lips. How did the whole world not run after this boy, trying to steal a kiss? He was the most kissable person I'd ever seen. At last I reached down to peel up the blanket from the bottom, exposing his feet. He was wearing grey sport socks with a hole in one of the heels that, for reasons I was unaware of, made my heart melt. I sat down next to his feet and carefully slipped them into his Chuck Taylors. He stirred and sat up halfway, squinting at me. "Hauunghh...?" he mumbled incoherently. He realized after a moment that I'd put shoes on him, and suddenly he whisked the blanket aside entirely, staring at his feet. His eyes widened, and his jaw fell open. "It's a perfect fit," I whispered with a wink. "You must be the princess I've been looking for." "Cody!" he crowed, his beautiful eyes lighting up with joy. "You got them back!" "That's not all," I added, setting a shopping bag on the bed and slowly pulling out Julien's teddy bear. The stuffed animal was subtly scarred, but entirely intact. "Cody... how?" he gasped. His gleaming hazel eyes grew even wider as he realized his slaughtered bear had been revived. He picked it up and examined it briefly before hugging it against his chest. He reached out to me with his opposite hand, and I wrapped myself around both of them. "Omigod, Cody... you're my hero!" he whimpered. I felt his body tremble and I knew he was crying. I squeezed him tighter. "It was nothing," I chuckled gently, rubbing his back. His body felt comfortingly warm in my arms, heated from his recent slumber. The softness of the teddy bear between our chests made me smile when I remembered it had been in the same place the first time I ever hugged him, which seemed like forever ago at this point but, incredibly, had only been the night before last. It wasn't just a sentimental object for Julien anymore. Even though the bear had been gifted to him by another guy, it felt like something that was "ours". Julien leaned back so he could take a close look at his bear. He ran his finger across the tidily stitched-up places where the knife had slashed through the fur. His finger then outlined the little red felt heart on the bear's chest, which had mercifully escaped harm. "How did you manage this?" he marveled. "Wish I could say I fixed it myself, but I just looked up some of these places that do sewing alterations and custom tailoring and stuff. Tracked one down that was willing to take on an urgent repair." I grinned at how he seemed to think I'd done something excessively marvellous. "Would it be more magical if I told you I consulted a wizard or a fairy who taught me a spell to repair broken things with the power of love?" "Yes... I think I'll believe that second one," he giggled, lunging forward to kiss me, hard. He threw his arms around me, pressing the bear against my back. His legs went around my waist, and he clung to me like a small child, sucking hungrily at my neck. "That tickles!" I laughed, hugging and wrestling him at the same time. "Om nom nom!" he growled in a Cookie Monster voice, beginning to gnaw at my neck and collarbone. We flopped back onto the bed and rolled around, laughing, tangling the covers as we grappled, biting, licking, and kissing one another. We grew quieter and less boisterous as we settled into serious making out, spiced with slow, exquisite dry humping. It took very little time for clothes to find their way to the floor. When Julien began to slip his sneakers off, I stopped him: "Leave these on. I think they're sexy." He smiled that earth-shattering smile that made me want to swoon like a frail woman in an old black-and-white film. "You want to fuck me while I'm wearing nothing but my Chucks?" "Yes. Deal with it." "Gladly," he giggled, rolling onto his back and splaying his legs wide, Chuck Taylors pointed at the ceiling. Her Brother Ch. 02 "Fuck yes!" I growled, grabbing him by his thighs and pushing them up to expose his cute little ass. "Look at you. You're so fuckable. I'm hard as granite right now." "I love making you hard," Julien sighed. "It feels so good inside me. It feels so right. Cody... make love to me. I neeeeed you! Now, now, now!" I laughed as he kicked his legs anxiously. I was still checking out his precious backside, practically drooling with the desire for it. My cock certainly was. "'Make love', did you say? Don't you usually insist on calling it 'fucking'?" "Yeahhh... I know I laughed at you last night for saying that, but you're totally right. It is lovemaking. When it's us... you know? It's still fucking, but... it's special. Really special." The amusement around my smile melted away. My heart swelled and seemed to burst inside me in a flood of warmth that melted all the way through my extremities. I kept both hands on his cute butt cheeks and leaned down to kiss him, my tongue sliding hungrily across his gorgeous lips. He grabbed hold of me and squeezed me tightly, with all four limbs, trying to absorb me, to make us into one organism. Even the sensation of the rubber heels of his sneakers digging into my backside was sexy, and man, I could have leaped off a bridge for this gorgeous kid if he'd merely asked me to. "You're so hot," I growled against his soft lips. "So goddamn hot." "Lube, for fuck's sake!" he groaned. "You're gonna have to let me go for a sec, little bro." I grinned wickedly down at him. He scowled playfully at me and smacked my ass with both hands before releasing me with a little shove against my chest. I rolled off the bed and dove into the bag I'd thrown Julien's bottle of lube in while packing. Locating it with a crow of triumph, I leaped back onto the bed and flipped the bottle open, immediately drizzling plenty down Julien's cleft. "Eeee, that's cold!" he yelped. "Be a man!" "You can't make me!" he giggled, kicking his legs. "I'll be a boy forever. I'll shave off my pubes and be your little twink." I slicked up my aching hard-on and shuffled into position over him, grabbing his slender thighs to angle him up and keep him still. "Is that what you think I want? To put my cock inside a little hairless twink? Quit wriggling, kiddo - I need to get my cock inside you!" "Would you still want to put your cock inside me if I waxed myself all over and became one of these pretty boys?" he asked softly, his laughter calming. "Or... would you like me even better that way?" I touched the hungry tip of my cock to Julien's slick hole and let it rest there as I gazed down into his warm hazel eyes. The tiny flecks of colour in them seemed almost to glow, as if they were laced with gold dust and minuscule chips of emerald. "Do what you want with your body," I replied, smiling steadily at him. "Be a bare twink, or be as hairy as a Wookiee for all I care. It was your beautiful heart and your gorgeous smile I fell for... not your pubes." He was gasping at the gentle pressure I put on his asshole with my cock, but descended into another brief giggle. "You're so fucking romantic. I think my heart has a boner for you." I snorted and almost lost my grip on his thighs. "Heart boner! Seriously, don't make me laugh when I'm trying to get inside you." I panted and pressed my cock more firmly against his pink pucker. "Fuck... you're so tight, I can't get in. Should I stop? We didn't, uh... prep you." "I can't wait!" he said urgently, jerking his pelvis up a little. "Just push harder, okay? No mercy! Like, seriously, I need you to fuck me now, good and hard. Fuck me to pieces, Cody!" "You're sure? Are you sure?" I fretted, but clearly he was sure. I drew myself up and grunted powerfully as I gave one powerful thrust against him, and at last felt his tight ring of muscle give way to the thick head of my cock. "FUCK!" he bellowed, his body going rigid for a few moments. His eyes clenched shut, and his mouth locked open in a silent scream. "Oh shit, oh god, Jules, are you okay?" I babbled, carefully not moving a muscle. "You said no mercy! Was it too much? I'm so sorry! Holy shit, say something!" "Shhhhh," he finally exhaled. He lifted his eyelids, and I was horrified to see tears gathering around his beautiful eyes. Gradually his body relaxed, and he reached up one languid hand to cup my cheek. "No sorry," he whispered tremulously. "I told you to do it. Hurts... a lot... but it'll pass. Just... gimme a sec." I locked my eyes onto his as he inhaled deeply through his nose, and then exhaled through his mouth, over and over. His ass was squeezing my cockhead with almost painful intensity, as if it never intended to let me go. As bad as I felt about hurting him, this was all enormously sexy somehow - his pain and tightness, his tears, our mutual carnal need being held at bay by the limitations of his compact body. I needed him so much. I needed this, everything about this experience, even the anguish and fear. After a minute or two, I felt his opening ease up a little, enough that I could either pull out, or push in a bit further. I stroked his thighs lovingly and waited for a signal from him. He gently squeezed his muscles around me, making me gasp, and he managed a tentative smile. "Give me a little more," he whispered. "Slowly." Breathing heavily, I nodded and pushed into his gloriously tight ass another inch. His body became a little more welcoming, adjusting to my girth, and almost pulling me in once I'd worked another inch into him. "Good boy, you're such a brave boy, oh, that's so good," I breathed. "Does it still hurt?" "Un peu," he breathed, and then rolled his eyes at his own lapse and quickly translated: "A little. But good." "Good hurt?" "Hurts so good, Cody." I smiled euphorically down at him. He had never looked so beautiful, his cheeks flushed with lust and with the effort of accommodating my size. He squeezed my cock again; I moaned, and his eyes widened gleefully, drinking in my reaction. "You sure know how to work that hot little ass," I growled. "Why don't you start working that cock, stud?" he whispered, bucking against me gently. "I'm ready." I released my grip on his thighs and leaned down over him, my mouth seeking his. As our tongues sparred and clashed, I slid out of him until only the wider head of my cock was still inside, and then pushed firmly back into his exquisite hole, moaning into his mouth. His legs wrapped around my middle. I loved the feeling of being totally plugged into his body. With Lisette, I had come to accept that sex couldn't possibly be like it was in movies or stories. Having sex with her had always felt like a vulgar act of claiming physical relief by imposing a shameful procedure on her, and the fact that she let me do this thing to her that she did not seem particularly excited about made me feel like I was luckier than I deserved to be. I felt lucky to have someone who put up with my grossness. Julien made me feel the opposite of gross. The obvious pleasure he took in our coupling amplified mine exponentially. He accepted every part of me, appreciated even the little oddities that had always chipped away at my meagre sense of self-worth. Julien made me feel connected to him. My body craved his, and his craved mine equally. When I sank my cock into his snug hole and heard him moan with satisfaction, it felt like a true coupling. I was sharing pleasure with him, not taking it from him, or inflicting something on him. The connection created a mind-blowing positive feedback loop, where every pleasure each of us experienced increased the other's enjoyment. My hips worked more rapidly, pistoning my length deeper and more powerfully into him. The first time we'd fucked I had been cautious and dependent upon his instructions, but this time, I let my body move more instinctively. He didn't tell me what to do, and I didn't ask him if it was all right. We kept our eyes locked, drinking in the sight of one another, and we just knew. I felt like an animal, like a savage. I speared into him as if I meant to run him through entirely. He screamed out curses, both English and French, but his legs remained locked around me, and his arms continued to reach for me, pulling at me as if to force me in closer than close, to crawl right inside him. I would have, if I could. I craved him with an all-consuming thirst. It didn't matter if I was homeless for the time being, as Julien the Beautiful was my home now. I inhabited him, claimed him, devoured him. My mouth moved across his salty skin, kissing, tasting, nibbling. I took a nipple between my teeth and bit until he yelped. He grabbed handfuls of my hair and growled at me; I growled back at him. The carnal frenzy gradually calmed into a smoother, more intimate rocking, and Julien smiled adoringly up at me as I continued thrusting into him. "Can I be on top?" he panted after a minute or two. "Of course - want me to pull out?" He shook his head rapidly and eased his legs down, pushing against the mattress with one sneaker to lever us both over. I stayed carefully inside him as I rolled onto my back, pulling him atop me. We grinned at each other with new delight at having achieved this feat with my cock still firmly embedded in his ass. He straddled me comfortably and leaned back, propping his hands on my thighs just behind his bum. His eyelids lowered, his head fell back limply, and he grinned blindly at the ceiling, absorbing the pure sensation of my hardness buried inside him. He looked so triumphant and so perfectly happy. His smooth young body glowed with a light sheen of sweat. I was in awe for several still, silent moments. "You look like a sex god," I marvelled. "A cute li'l sex god... impaled on my dick." He opened his eyes and lowered his gaze to mine, his smile spreading even wider. "All I need is a set of goat legs, horns, and some panpipes. Your own personal satyr." "Hot," I chuckled, and then gasped as he lifted his ass and lowered it all at once, fucking himself on me. "Mmm, yeah! Use me, you gorgeous thing. You like riding my cock?" He let go of my thighs and leaned forward, propping himself up on my chest instead. He looked down at me with an intense smoulder in his warm hazel eyes. "I fucking love riding your huge cock, baby," he growled, pulling almost free, and then shoving his ass back down, forcing my cock back up into his tight hole. "And I fucking love when you talk dirty to me." I groaned and smirked up at him. Dirty talk was still new to me. I loved all of the naughty things Julien coaxed out of my formerly repressed self. I took hold of his hips as he began to ride me, his tight muscles squeezing and tugging at my throbbing shaft. "Your ass feels incredible! I love to see you bouncing like that, pleasuring yourself on me. Sexy little cowboy. Ride it real hard, beautiful!" He grinned and did exactly as I suggested, riding my cock with increasing fervour. "It's... not quite so dirty... when you call me 'beautiful'," he panted. "But you're so beautiful...!" I groaned. My eyes flicked down to his tempting cock, which had remained hard and bobbed wildly along with his brisk movements, now and then shedding crystalline drops of precum that splattered onto my belly. "Should I call you bitch? Slut? Filthy whore? Or just... my naughty little boy?" "Oh... oh... anything!" he cried out, his voice sounding increasingly desperate as he worked his tight little ass up and down my excited cock with greater and greater fervour. The wet slapping of our bodies was becoming hypnotic. "I'll take beautiful... I'll take bitch. I'll be your beautiful, naughty boy, Cody! I just want to be yours!" "Oh, you're mine!" I growled. "All mine, my little sex doll!" "More," he huffed, locking his eyes on mine. "Move with me - fuck me hard!" "Oh fuck yes!" I burst out, beginning to drive my hips upward as he thrust his pelvis down. I was awkwardly off rhythm at first, but soon we were perfectly in sync. My hands on his hips began to shove him down harder against me. I forced myself into him with brutal intensity, and his jaw hung open, screaming silently at me. A deep flush was spreading down his smooth neck and chest. I could tell by the tensing of his body that he was very close to climaxing. I was not far off myself. We huffed like a couple of steam engines. "Wat me to cum inside you?" I panted. His eyes widened; he nodded rapidly. His fingers dug into my chest, and his brow furrowed. I forced him down even harder and faster onto my cock, pounding into him like a great big piston, growling and grunting, and at last I felt the pleasure explode in my core and rocket out through my cock, filling his insides with several potent blasts. I had no frame of reference to know what it felt like to have one's rectum sprayed with fresh cum, but the feeling must have pushed him over the edge. He raked his fingernails down my chest, leaving brilliant red lines, and finally a cry emerged from his gaping mouth. He sounded like a wild jungle beast as he lost control of himself, shooting long, shining strings of cum across my belly and chest, his pelvis working frantically until his orgasm finally calmed, and his expression relaxed, his eyes rolling back. I felt his body losing its strength, and I managed to catch him and roll him onto his side before he fell straight into the mess of his own spend. My cock slid slickly out of him, and I felt a rush of my own hot cum dribble out with it. I pulled his warm, twitching body against my side as we both struggled to catch our breaths. One of his hands idly explored some of the mess he'd made on my chest. "S-sorry I scratched you," he mumbled. "Ohhh god that was amazing." "S'okay," I breathed, kissing his damp forehead. "It was good, all good. Like, incredible. Oh man. I can't believe I never knew sex was this fun!" He chuckled shakily and kissed my neck. My fingers idly played with his sweat-dampened locks. "I... I called you a sex doll," I recalled. "Mm-hm!" "Too much?" "No, I kinda liked it." "Hmm. Noted." He laughed again and tangled one of his legs between mine. "Cody... mmm... this is so great. You're the best. The best boyfriend. The best lover." "To be fair, I'm your first," I teased. "Shhh. I'm still allowed to think you're the best." He kissed my neck again, and then my shoulder. "Thank you, Cody. Thank you for taking such good care of me. I mean, not just in a sex way. You were my knight in shining armour today. Sometimes I worry I'm never going to be happy because of just how much my mom and sister have fucked me up. I'm like... really sensitive, and sometimes I know I can be a doormat, and you know, for most people that would probably mean a shitty personality and a lot of shitty relationships. Things could have gone really badly for me. I was so dreading having to stay with my bitch sister, especially given how depressed I was already feeling, and then... there you were, this breath of fresh air, this beautiful soul hiding in the last place I would have expected. You made me forget about my problems for a bit, and I saw this sadness in you that maybe you didn't even know was there. I saw it because it was the same sadness I was feeling... and it broke my heart to see you putting yourself in last place when you stood out like a bright star in my eyes. I wanted you to see the value in yourself... and you ended up doing the same for me. I feel like, for the first time in ages, despite the fact that I'm technically jobless and homeless, everything's actually gonna be okay." I breathed deeply and squeezed him tightly against my body, kissing his forehead. "We'll make sure it is, Jules. It's gonna be amazing. And thank you for giving me the kick I needed to snap out of Lisette's spell. It's kind of horrifying how a person can live through a terrible, soul-sucking relationship and have no idea how bad it really is until it's over. So many people warned me about her. I lost friends over her. It took you to really make the truth sink in. You're a bright star too, you know. The first time I saw you, you took my breath away." He giggled and nuzzled my shoulder. "Really?" "Absolutely. I thought I'd seen beautiful before, but you... whew! Totally lost my mind." "Omigod, omigod!" he breathed, squirming even more firmly against me as if he meant to meld our bodies together. "I remember you looked kind of spaced out when you first walked into the apartment. I thought you were upset. I thought you were uncomfortable I was there." I chuckled and kissed his head a few more times. "No, it was just your classic 'oh shit, my girlfriend's little brother is even hotter than she is and suddenly I'm questioning my sexuality' expression." "Oh... one of those!" he laughed. "I should have recognized that one. Happens all the time." I poked his cute little freckled nose with the tip of my finger. "I wouldn't doubt it, Jules." He blushed and tilted his head up to catch my finger between his teeth. We laughed, and cuddled, and teased late into the night. We enjoyed one another, putting aside for the moment the great big question mark that was the future. For tonight, everything was beautiful, because Julien was everything to me.