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First Blush Ch. 01

By: MJRoberts



This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Copyright belongs to MJ Roberts 2014. Please do not reproduce without permission from the author. 

FIRST BLUSH

The thirty-piece band was playing the first song I recognized since I got here: It Had To Be You. It was Memorial Day, and I was standing in the corner at a 400 guest wedding. It was definitely the most grandiose event I'd ever been attended. I decided I didn't like grandiose events. Which I guess makes sense because I'm more comfortable with my nose buried in a textbook than at a party. I would have stayed in my back yard reviewing math proofs and getting ready for next fall if I could have.

But an 18-year-old distant cousin of mine was getting married, and my father decreed that I had to come, so I here I was. I was wishing for a simple picnic and fireworks in the gorgeous holiday sunshine instead of getting lost in the throng of the well dressed.

A brunette in a fancy, low-cut red dress stepped in front of me. I recognized her immediately.

"Hi," she said and smiled a mega-watt smile. "You're obviously one of Joe and Marsha's sons, but I'm not positive which one. "

"Eli," I said.

At the same time she said, "Eli?"

I nodded. 

"I thought so." 

It was easy to see how she could be unsure. I had three younger brothers, and we were all very close in age. We all had the same fair coloring with flaming red hair and a smattering of freckles.

"I'm Dawn," she said, touching her chest.

"I know," I said. "You like exactly the same."

I hadn't seen her in about nine years. She was ten years older than me, which would make her 32.

"You don't. Look at you, all grown up. The last time I saw you, you were like a shy colt. Those amazing, piercing baby blues are exactly the same though."

I felt a slight blush run to the top of my cheeks at the compliment.

"Thanks," I said.

She came and stood beside me, so we were shoulder to shoulder.

"Happy Memorial Day," she said with a good dose of sarcasm as she looked out at the crowd.

I tried not to roll my eyes.

"You know what would make this shindig even better?" she asked.

"What?"

"Three hundred and twenty-five less people."

I smiled. I'd always liked her.

"I heard you graduated from college."

She lived on the East Coast; I lived on the West Coast. But her mom and my mom kept up with each other. Still, it surprised me she knew.

"Yeah, last year."

"And you majored in math, something specific, ah, data analytics or something."

The way she said data analytics I could tell she had no idea what that meant.

"Yup."

She was an artist. I tried to remember what she did for a minute. Scarfs? "You still making those batik scarfs?" Whatever the hell batik was.

"Yeah," she said. She turned to me and her face let up. "A chain of gift shops associated with international museums picked them up, so I'm really busy with orders."

"That's great."

"Mmn-hmn."

We were silent for a minute watching the people dance, drink, and cavort.

"Gay?" she said.

 WHAT?  

"Excuse me?" Heat flooded my cheeks. My ears tingled the blood rushed there so fast. Damn. The top of my ears were probably beet red. 

"I didn't mean to step all in your business. If you don't want to talk about it or anything, that's okay."

"Um, ah."

"I was just curious, you know, if you had a boyfriend."

I blushed harder. I gulped. "Kah."

"Never mind."

Jeez. No one had ever asked me that. But I didn't want to be in the closet or anything.

"Um, yeah, I am. What, do you have super gaydar or something?"

"Pretty much. And it can run in families. Of course there are the other two."

"What? Who?"

She looked at me like I was nuts. Her expression said, 'How could you not know?' But she didn't answer me.

"Anyway," I said. "Yes, I'm gay. No, I don't have a boyfriend."

"Well," she said. "I don't have a boyfriend right now either."

The bride and groom danced by leading a long conga line. The bride had on a plastic tiara that read 'bride', the groom had on a hat that read 'groom'. The bridesmaid had on a hat that said 'Memorial', and the best man had on a hat that said 'Day'. 

"Oh dear," Dawn said.

When the conga line passed Dawn said, "I have someone who you have to meet." She grabbed my bicep and pulled me across the dance floor. I thought perhaps she meant another cousin or something until we were almost to the big French doors. A shaft of light highlighted a very handsome man standing in profile to us. 

I started to pull back as I tensed into full alert. My heart sped up. Dawn tightened her grip on my arm.

"Hey Greg," Dawn called.

He turned to face us and I thought,  when novelists write 'they saw each other across a crowded room and he felt an instant attraction', this is what they're talking about. 

Then we were next to him. Dawn was speaking, and I had to work to concentrate.

"...Is a math genius specializing in data analytics. Greg is the Dean of Astrophysics."

Still holding my arm, she put her other hand on Greg's arm and pulled us both so we stood closer together.

"Oh, I see somebody I have to talk to. Bye." She scurried off. I looked at her retreating back. What?

Greg stuck his hand out. "Greg Stricklane."

I reached out to shake it, on automatic reaction. "Eli Karkowski."

"Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise," I said.

"Data analytics," he said.

I nodded.

"How do you apply it?"

That's what people ask when they mean, 'What the fuck would you use that for?' or 'Where could you possible use that?' or 'I have no idea what that is?' I stifled an inner sigh.

Maybe he saw my expression because he said, "Noooo, I mean do  you  apply it?"

I launched into a huge speech about applications of mathematical neural networks in medicine, ecological planning, and population control. I stopped myself after about three sentences. A tiny blush started across the bridge of my nose. Oh God, how embarrassing.

"Sorry. That's really boring unless you're a total math geek."

"I am a math geek. Physics is largely math."

"Hmm," I said. "Well, applying data analytics to astrophysics," I said. "This is pretty new, we can take photos of stars and galaxies, run them through the new proofs and equations, make 3-D extrapolations, and use them for more complex mapping, rocket building, and things like to tell professors where they should be looking for new stars."

Greg leaned forward until his lips were very close to my ear. "You know intelligence is a huge turn-on."

I blushed from my hairline to my collar.

"Nice." He chuckled. "So is a delicious blush."

Holy shit. Dawn didn't introduce me to Greg because he was a science geek. She introduced me to him because he was gay! I guess my gaydar didn't work as well as hers.

"Ahhhh... well, I can send you some links if you'd like."

"Yes. I like."

Hard to miss that one.

"Um... ahh...." I blushed harder. Damn fair coloring.

"It's getting stuffy in here," Greg said. "Would you like to go outside and walk in the gardens?"

I put my finger under my collar. It was suddenly too tight. I pulled at the neck of my shirt more but it suddenly was closing in on my adam's apple with a choke hold. I couldn't speak. I nodded.

He walked out the glass doors, and I followed. The flowers were in riotous bloom, and the colors and sweet smells provided a welcome distraction from my nerves. Greg led me into a hedge maze, and the relative privacy both terrified and excited me. 

A brief burst of fireworks exploded across the river. We stopped to admire the red, white, and blue spider-shape sparkles.

"It's usually one of my favorite holidays," Greg said.

"But not today?" I asked.

He stared at me intensely. "No. Today it is absolutely my favorite holiday."

My face got hot, and I looked down and pushed dirt around with my toe.

"I could stand to walk around a little more," I said.

We walked in a comfortable silence. I felt like I should say something, but I didn't want to ruin how good it felt walking beside him. I kept taking surreptitious glances at him. My hopes soared so high. His dapper grey suit looked like it cost more than my car, and I wondered if it would feel silky. I longed to touch it. My fingers clenched and unclenched slightly. 

It was weird how comfortable I felt around him, because I'm usually not only shy, but a little cautious around new people. Instead I felt sort of the way I would with someone I've known for a long time and was really comfortable with, if you added a dose of hoooo-boy excitement into the comfort mix. 

Like riding in the world's most luxurious airplane. And standing in an open doorway with a parachute.

"So, my friend," he said with a smile and a great deal of humor in his voice. "Would you like to come see my collection of etchings?"

Even I recognized that for the over-the-top pick-up line it was meant to be, and we both burst out laughing. Then I held my breath. I waited for my brain to catch up and be able to form an appropriately witty answer.

I thought, 'Oh no, please don't blush again.' But I did. I couldn't find any words to say how much I wanted him.

He brushed a finger against the back of my hand ever so lightly. "Too soon?"

I shook my head. Then I nodded my head. Then I nodded my head more vigorously.

I wiped my palms on my pants. "Actually," I said when I could find my voice, "Art appreciation is a turn-on."

He smiled at me. God, he had a great smile.

"Come on, my car's this way."

I followed him out to a big side parking lot and was almost to his car when I blinked myself out of stupor. "Wait a sec, I have to go back inside and tell my family I'm leaving."

"Okay. I'll wait here."

I ran in, found one of my brothers, and in the vaguest terms possible told him I had a ride, and he should tell Dad. I ran back out to Greg. I was almost panting when I got back out. That got another superstar smile from him.

Jeez Eli, eager much?

"Ready?" he asked.

Oh yeah. Like for about five years.

He held the door open for me. I couldn't decide if that was weird or the kindest, most romantic gesture I'd ever seen. I opted for the latter and gave him a tentative smile.

I didn't know what kind of car it was, but I sank into the luxury of the seats and stared at the dials, which reminded me of the console of a plane or a space ship—although I'd never seen one.

Greg rocketed us down the wide tree-lined road with a finesse that was a 180 from how I drove. He handled the curves like a pro, and I wondered if his proficiency extended to other things.

That thought made me think where we were going literally and figuratively. I could hardly just blurt out that I was a virgin, never even been kissed. Wasn't it supposed to be painful the first time? What if I was no good at it? What if this was my one chance to experience what it was like with a guy, and I messed it up?

My heart pulsed a pulverizing fast rhythm as it galloped away from me trying to burst out of my chest. I clenched my jaw, then my fists, then my eyes, then the rest of my face. I probably looked like I was sucking on a sour lemon. All of my skin flushed hot, surely turning me a hue slightly darker than tomato red.

I told myself to breathe, but I couldn't.

I heard the car screech as it swerved. Greg cut across three lines and abruptly pulled over.

"What, what?" he asked.

I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't face him. The space in the car closed in around me. I turned an even darker shade. I'd bite off my arm before I'd tell him I was a virgin.

"Eli, what's going on?"

Um. Heart palpitations, sweaty palms, trouble breathing.

"Eli, answer me, what's going on?"

I couldn't speak.

Greg grabbed my chin firmly and turned my face to him.

"Eli, open your eyes."

I did and I could feel them frantically darting around the car. Like my eyes were wild horses desperately trying to escape.

"Eli, look at me."

I shook my head ever so slightly.

"Eli." His voice was firm. Calm. I looked at him. "I want to know, right now, what you're thinking and feeling that has you looking like you're about to stroke out."

I didn't answer.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do. We don't have to go to my place. We can go to a fancy restaurant, or for a walk in the park, or to a bar. I can take you back to the wedding."

The pressure around my heart released but the air also got colder. "I don't want to go back to the wedding, or anywhere else," I said. "I want to go to your place."

"We can go to my place and not do anything," he said. My shoulders relaxed a little bit, and I think my color returned to normal. 

"I want to do everything," I whispered.

He shrugged slightly and gave me a look that I interpreted to mean, 'So what's the problem?'

Then his eyes widened. I could see when he got it. "Oh God," he said.

Greg unhooked his seatbelt and then unhooked mine.

"Shit," he said.

"It's okay," I said. "I want to. Anything. Everything."

Greg leaned forward, nuzzled my neck, put his lips near my ear.

God he smelled so good.

"I'll be gentle," he said softly.

My cock jumped, straining toward him.

"Very gentle."

I said the first thing that came to my mind, "I don't want you to be gentle. I want you to be fierce."

He let out a quiet, growling sound deep in his throat.

"I just need you to be slow. Very, very, very slow."

"Eli, I can be glacier if that's what you need. As long as you give me the honor of letting me get you there."

Greg brushed my lips with his, ever so softly.

The most magnificent thing I'd ever felt.

He backed up a little, and I stared into his eyes. I'd thought they were brown, but this close I could see little streaks of gold in them.

Greg rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip. I touched the light brown wave of hair that hung low over his forehead, pushing it the side.

He palmed the side of my face, tilted my face, and leaned in to kiss me.

Oh yes. This was where I was meant to be. His tongue explored my mouth in a slow, sensual rhythm. I thought of stars and heaven and how could I possibly get more.

I grabbed the suit jacket material on his shoulders, desperate to get him even closer to me. The fabric was silky, but it was nothing compared to the smooth wonder of his kiss.

He came up for air.

"I could do that for twenty-four hours straight. And then twenty-four hours more," I said. "Please Greg, please. It's so good; kiss me again. Show me."

He chuckled and then kissed me again, harder, pushing me back into the seat. I kissed him back with everything I had. I wanted to put his hand on my cock, which was begging for his touch, but I was too shy.

Greg broke off the kiss again. "Better?"

"Much better." I wanted to get him naked as soon as possible. Did that make me a cliché? The stereotype of a gay guy who hooks up with someone he barely knows? I felt like I should ask him some questions to get to know him better, but my cock was throbbing, and my head was reeling. 

Come on Eli, come on. Get enough blood to your brain to make an attempt at conversation. I was really having a hard time with that. Work brain, work.

"So you have any siblings?"

"One younger sister. She's good friends with the groom, which is how I got roped into going to that monstrosity in the first place."

"So you have a favorite place to vacation?" What is this, twenty questions. Shut up, Eli, shut up.

"Yeah, Aruba. You ever been there?"

"Ut-uh. My parents won free tickets to three days stay in Aruba and couldn't go, so they gave the prize to my sister and me. We decided to make a whole week vacation of it, and we had such a good time, we've gone back every year since. Their slogan there is 'One happy island'. You can't beat that.

There was a lull in the conversation and I struggled to think of something else to ask him.

"Did you always want to be an astrophysicist?"

"No, when I was a little boy I wanted to be an astronaut... but I was afraid of flying."

I laughed. 

"Then I found out I was colorblind and that nixed that."

"You're colorblind?"

"Absolutely and completely." He feathered his fingers over the freckles on my one of my cheeks and across the bridge of my nose. "But I can tell that you're a redhead." He brushed his lips over the freckles on the other side. "With the palest milky-cream skin. And I'm betting those super intelligent eyes, with their piercing stare, aren't the intense grey I see but a brilliant blue."

He moved toward my eyes, and I closed them as he kissed each eyelid.

"Are they blue?"

I nodded.

"Thought so."

Then he kissed me again, hotter this time. I felt like I knew enough about him now. Hell, even if he turned out to be a serial killer it would be worth it for this. Although I doubt my cousin would introduce me to a serial killer.

I smiled against his lips.

"What?" he asked.

"Thinking too much," I said.

"I can fix that." Then he kissed me. The car melted away, my body melted away, my ability to think, or move on my own melted away. I don't know what he did to get me to surrender not just my mouth, but my whole being, but whatever it was, he could do it again and again. His tongue teased mine with perfect carnal thrusts. 

Fireworks exploded, their booms seemingly too close. I lazily opened my eyes from half-mast to all the way open. When I bent my neck I could see the rocketing blooms open high in the sky through the top of the front windshield.

"When I kiss you, I see fireworks," I said.

"When I kiss you, I only see you," Greg said. "But there's fireworks for sure."

More fireworks exploded, sounding like gunshots.

"I might not see them, but I definitely hear them," Greg said.

'That's my heart,' I wanted to say.

He kissed me again.

"And I feel them. Boy do I feel them," he said.

He smiled at me and I smiled at him. He was a sap! I liked it. I bit my bottom lip. His eyes followed the motion.

An even bigger rat-a-tat sound had us both ducking.

"Maybe we should get out of the danger zone," Greg said. 

Might be impossible while I'm with him.

"Definitely," I said.

Greg turned the car back on, and we zoomed toward his place. I tried to think of all the ways adrenaline junkies get drunk going high speed. Because whatever it is guys who jump out of parachutes feel, I thought that might be close to what I was feeling. Nothing solid above, no firm ground below, wind rushing by with equal parts 'hell, yeah,' and 'oh, shit.'

I put my hand on the smooth surface of my window. Trees flashed by, and I focused on the dappled sunshine from the late afternoon shining through, making the glass the perfect warmth. 

Then we were there. The parking lot of his apartment building.

"Last chance to change your mind and turn this into a date where we go to 7-11 and get a slushie."

I shook my head. "I'm all slushied out. I had my fair share of slushies at the wedding." 

 I need something more like Grand Mariner or top-notch scotch, Greg. Something sophisticated and smooth. I think that's you. 

We were quiet in the elevator. My doubts leapt back in, attacking like giant spiders from a sci-fi movie. 

He took a second fumbling for the right key to his door, and I reminded myself that freaking out—or worse, passing out—before getting over the threshold would be the epitome of uncool.

Then he opened the door. I walked into his living room decorated in soothing white with touches of black and grey.

I hardly believed it, but there, on his wall, was an amazing collection of zinc squares with thin-as-a-pen line grooves, and matching prints. Etchings.

I laughed.

"I thought that was a line," I said.

"It was," he said. "Why do you think I bought the etchings?"

"Jeez," I mumbled. "How many boyfriends have you had?"


First Blush Ch. 01



He came and stood right in front of me. He looked me in the eye, intense and serious. "No one I wanted as much as you." He took my right hand and put it in his, first as if he was shaking it, then interlocking our fingers. "I knew as soon as I shook your hand that I wanted you. Needed you, even, maybe."

I pulled my hand away.

"Drink?"

You betcha. Make mine a double.

"That would be great."

He opened a large bar cabinet to reveal an array of bottles lined up by height.

"What would you like?"

"Aahh...Baileys?"

"Baileys it is," he said and poured me a healthy dose.

I knocked it back and held out the empty glass.

"Hit me."

"I think that's more of a sipping drink than a shot."

Oh, right.

I blushed.

"Um, yeah, sure, but, ah, if you don't mind, I could use another."

He poured me another and watched with an amused face as it actually took me two gulps to get the whole drink down that time.

"Just one more," I said holding the glass out to him.

He took the glass and put it on the top of the cabinet.

"Half of one," I said.

Greg shook his head.

"A quarter."

He smiled. "I have other things I'd rather give you. I want you to be sober when I do."

I looked down at the rug. Black and white. I pushed the nap around with my foot.

"Somewhat sober," he said. "Pliable, influence-able."

I looked at him; he poured a little bit more Bailey's in the glass.

"Delectable, memory imprintable."

He brought the glass over but didn't give it to me. Instead he took my hand and dipped my finger in the creamy liquid. It was cool to the touch and he swirled my finger in it, and it felt smooth, clingy, heavy. He curled my finger to scoop up as much as possible. Greg looked at me and with intense eye contact, very, very slowly brought my finger up to his mouth. He held it there for a second before he sucked it between his lips. His gaze never left mine as he flooded my senses.

I felt his teeth, his tongue, the inside of his lips. And I mean I felt them everywhere.

Apparently driving and physics weren't the only things he was good at.

I blushed.

"Besides, I think it's time you gave me something to drink. Don't you?"

I went to nod and shake my head at the same time so I ended up rolling my head around like someone just made me into a bobble-head.

"You might have just asked me a question," I said when I could breathe again, "but it must have been above my pay grade. All I could hear was..." I stuck my tongue out. "Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh...." I pulled my tongue back in my mouth. "I think that's what happens when you aspire to the minors, and you find out you're in the big league. They take away your hearing."

He smiled at me. Shit. I'd waited all my life for a smile like that.

I cupped my hand behind my ear. "What?" I paused. "I can't hear you."

Greg put the glass down. He came back to me and took both my hands in his. His voice was quiet and serious. "Then I guess I'll have to show you the way."

He walked backwards, still holding both my hands and pulling me with him, to a short hallway I assumed led to his bedroom. It was the most natural thing in the world to follow him.

Oh, my God. Forget embarrassing myself. What if I let him down?

He just kept walking backwards, keeping that steady, calming eye contact, while I felt like a colt fighting the urge to bolt. I stepped with him, so when his left foot slid back mine stepped forward. Without me realizing it, we had fallen into synch.

"Greg, I don't know how to dance!" I said. It seemed to come out of nowhere; we weren't dancing.

"You don't have to know before you start, if you have a partner who will help you find the rhythm," he said. 

He pulled me back a few more paces, and then we were standing beside his bed. I looked around his room. It was ultra-modern. Dark grey walls, glossy black dressers, and a shiny black bed cover framed by blindingly white silky sheets. 

My nerves got the better of me. "I get you dig the black and white thing, but would it hurt you to have a pop of color?"

Greg brushed his hands through my hair. "I have a pop of color."

Greg never stopped looking into my eyes as his hands coasted up under my lapels and over my shoulders. He slid my blazer off me. He didn't look away for a second as he folded my jacket and placed it on an end table behind him. 

"This room has all the color it needs."

I blushed.

"Well, now it does," he said.

He kissed my hot cheeks.

"Damn fair coloring," I said. "Next life I'm coming back as an olive-skinned Mediterranean."

Greg shook his head. "Don't. Next life come back exactly as you are."

He opened the top two buttons of my shirt, and I stilled his hand. He nodded. 

"Glacier slow, I promise," he said. 

I was crushing his hand I was squeezing it so hard. I let him go.

He opened one more button.

"Hon, look at me."

Like I was going to look anywhere else.

"Eli, look right here." He touched his forefinger to the bottom eyelid of his right eye, so he was pointing right at his pupil. "I want you to focus everything, your vision, your thoughts, the overwhelming sensations, the fear—I want you to focus it, right here."

I zeroed in on that one eye. I thought it was brown but now I could see it wasn't really brown at all. It was a myriad of colors: maple, mahogany, nutmeg, oak, orange, honey, gold. Streaks of sunrise with tiny flecks of dark green. I was watching his eye so closely it looked like a huge movement when the eye rotated slightly to the left and refocused. 

What was he doing?

He was staring into my right eye. Going down his personal rabbit hole into me as I fell deeper, through him, into mine.

"Now breathe," he said.

"Yeah... right."

"You can do it, Eli. You do it all the time."

I felt a touch, feather light, along my collarbones and into the little notch, the dip in between. God yes. My eyes fluttered closed.

"No, hon. Look at me. Stay with me."

The panic rose again. I had said slow, I hadn't meant intimate.

"Right here." He tapped that spot right at his eye. "Right here. I got you."

"Yes," I whispered, my voice barely coming out at all. "But do you 'got me' too much?" 

His gaze held mine and mine held his. I was more naked than I'd ever been before.

"We can always stop," Greg said.

"Not if you want to live," I said.

"All right then. Will you trust me?"

I gave the barest of nods.

"That's not very much of a nod," he said.

"I trust you," I said.

"Good," he said. "Blink."

I blinked.

Then I blinked again and again. I didn't realize how good it felt to blink. How long had we been staring at each other like that?

"Now look at me," he said. I zoomed right in on that golden ring, sucked immediately into the dark pool in the center of his eye.

"Now watch me watch you," he said.

I had to pull back a little, refocus from drowning in his pupil to seeing both his eyes at once.

Fuck. 

No one had ever looked at me like that before. But there was a word for that intense glow. Hunger.

Greg watched me watching him. In slow motion he brought his finger up to his own lips and kissed it and then brought it down out of my field of vision. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to follow his finger or stay focused on his face but I didn't have much choice; I was trapped in that enrapt stare. Even though I couldn't see his hand, I was hyper aware of how Greg dragged that finger kiss around the bottom of my neck, in a figure eight over my collarbones, and then settled that kissed finger into the dip in between the clavicle bones and rubbed gently. As if he were implanting his kiss there.

Of their own accord my eyelids lowered to half-mast as I groaned.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Greg said and my eyes snapped open. "Not great at following directions, are you?"

I went to protest, but he put a finger across my lips. 

"Then you'll just have to do nothing, won't you?"

Oh God.

My eyelids fluttered closed again as he kissed the path his finger had taken. He opened the buttons on my shirt with a deliberate care and a painstaking slowness. He kissed each new patch of skin revealed with reverence. I could picture each button, slowly being coaxed through the buttonhole by his deliberate fingers. Every time he parted my shirt I had that moment of glorious anticipation, knowing where his lips would go, but still having to wait a second between the release of the button and the brush of his lips.

I will never, ever, ask for anything to be slow again, so help me God.

Greg pulled the tails of my shirt out of my pants and opened his mouth wide against my belly. He raked his teeth across the skin that touched my waistband. He opened my belt.

"Do you know CPR?" I asked.

He looked up. "I know CPR."

"Glad you have that knowledge, because I think you might need it."

"I know I'm going to need mouth to mouth," he said and kissed me.

Boy, I really set myself up for that one, I thought. But then I couldn't think at all because he deepened the kiss, and my knees literally got weak. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stand.

"Help," I squeaked.

"Help?" He put his hands on either side of my face, his palms cradling me. "What's going on?"

Loss of muscular-skeletal function, loss of the ability to stand upright, paralysis, nothing major.

"Eli, you have to talk to me. This relationship is never going to work if you don't communicate. What do you mean, help?"

Relationship?

He used one thumb to stroke my cheek. "Hon, you've got to talk to me. Just tell me what's going on, please. Whatever it is we can fix it, but I don't know what to do if you don't tell me what's going on."

"I just found out I have a disease. It's called 'knees-to-Jello-itis. It comes on suddenly. The effects are devastating. Now that I have it I seem to be having trouble... standing?"

I'm such a dork.

"It's fatal." Greg smiled at me. "I'm sorry to say your prognosis doesn't look good."

But maybe I'm not alone.

I bit my bottom lip. Greg's eyes dilated.

"There's no cure to the disease, but we can treat the symptoms," Greg said. He turned me slightly and then gently moved me until I was sitting back on the bed.

"A multi-pronged attack, as it were," Greg said. He bent down and took off my shoes and socks. "First, we need to elevate your feet." He swung me around so that my entire body was on the bed and put a firm hand on my chest to push me back. "Second, we need to remove any constrictive clothing."

He went to work on my belt.

"Somehow I feel like you're taking advantage of the situation."

He loomed above me, his face not far from mine, his smile all 'cat that got the canary.'

"And don't you forget it."

He completely undressed me and then I was totally naked, and he was totally dressed. I resisted the urge to cover myself with my hands. 

"How could I possibly want you so much and want to run and hide behind a privacy changing screen at the same time?" I asked.

"That's normal. That's why I had you focus on my eyes. Which I think it's time to do again."

I watched him toe off his shoes and had a sarcastic thought about how that made us equal, as if it was a power thing, him being dressed and me being so vulnerable.

He laid on top of me and the weight felt fantastic. He was bigger than me. We were close to the same height, but he was broader.

Face to face, toe to toe, groin to groin, something shifted. I strained up to kiss him. I would do anything to have him if I could only get him to hurry. I surged my hips up against him.

He uttered a satisfied chuckle. "Now that's what I'm looking for."

"Please Greg," I said and it was like someone else was speaking, my own voice seeming to come from very far away. "Please, please Greg. Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it."

"Here's what to do," he said. "Don't do anything."

Arrgh.

Greg shimmied down toward the foot of the bed. He clasped my ankles in his hands and opened my legs slightly. He circled one ankle with his hand and rubbed his face against the other.

What was he doing?

"You feel this?"

Duh. 

"Not this," he said squeezing my ankle. "This." He breathed warm air over the inside of my anklebone, ghosted his cheek up my leg an inch or two in a caress so light it was like he was brushing the energy above my skin rather than the skin itself. "The connection."

I nodded.

"Good," he said.

Greg dragged his cheek, nose, and lips slowly up the left side of me from my starting from my ankle. At the same time he used one large hand to glide up my right leg. His hand spanned my thigh as he breathed in deep, rubbing his face over my leg like a cat. Petting and rubbing up my leg with his hand on one side, and seeming like he could absorb me through every sense, every pore, every shaft of hair dragging over me on the other.

Greg continued the climb until he was nestled right in the crease where my leg met my torso. His face on one side, his hands on the other. He stopped there and drew in a loud inhale, breathing in deep.

My God, he was smelling me.

I was hard before. When I heard the sound of that breath and the tickling feel of his nose just barely touching the edge of my pubic hair and looked down at him, framing my cock with his face on one side and his hand on the other, everything went into overdrive.

My cock twitched hard, making a jump from lying straight up on my belly to standing proud in the air. It was vibrating like a tuning fork.

Greg chuckled, and I could feel the laugh on my skin.

"You're an evil man," I said.

"You're about to find out," he said. Then he continued to glide up the sides of my body, foregoing my cock completely.

NO, no, no, NO.

He kissed up my body until he found my nipples. I never thought I had particularly sensitive nipples; I figured that was a girl thing. I never got it when guys talked about their chests all day long. Greg used his teeth and very delicately pulled one and gnashed his teeth around the very tip while mimicking the action with his fingers on the other side.

I bowed up underneath him trying to get more.

"Hmm," he said. "I'm making note of all your hot spots."

"They're all hot spots," I said.

With him they were. It was like I didn't even know I had nipples before. 

He went back to his ministrations. Greg sucked my nipples, nuzzled my neck, and skimmed his teeth on the underside of my arms.

"I didn't know it could be like this," I said. I guess I had been imagining a hook-up. This didn't feel like a hook-up.

He looked at me. "Like what?"

"So helpless and powerful at the same time."

"Then I must be doing something right."

"Not something," I said. "Everything."

He put his mouth back to my fevered skin. Everywhere he touched lit a fire. I could literally see the blood rush up underneath my skin to meet every caress from his cheek, brush of his lips, soft stroke of his fingertips. As if my very essence was staining me in its urgency to get to him.

Greg kissed me again. I was lost; lost in all the hunger and bliss. The kiss changed. I couldn't tell you what he did differently. His tongue was still dancing with mine, coaxing in his play between patience and passion. But something in the kiss changed. I groaned into his mouth. 

It wasn't just that he changed the kiss, although he did. I changed. I surrendered.

He placed tiny butterfly kisses down the middle of my chest and then opened my legs wide and settled between them. He licked the bottom of my balls, around my shaft just the tiniest bit, and stopped.

I think the control was going to his head.

"Slow enough for you?" he asked.

"Don't make me hurt you," I said.

Greg smiled. He gathered up all the pillows from the bed and pushed them behind me, shifting me and encouraging me until I was propped up a little, still lying down but almost sitting. 

"Eli," he said. Just that. Just that one word. But the way he said it, like it was an enchantment he'd been searching his whole life to find or a mathematical proof he'd never gotten but suddenly saw unfold.

Then he wrapped his hand around me and took my cock into his mouth. My head thunked against the headboard.

In the millions of times I've fantasized blowjobs, I never imagined it could be this good.

Again with the slow.

Aargh.

It was getting increasingly hard to breathe as I watched him suck and pull. I wanted to put my hands in his hair but then he did something new with his tongue, putting it flat against the bottom of my cock as he glided up and down. It scorched all the neurons that would have let me coordinate that simple action.

The way he propped me up gave me an amazing view. Greg went up and down over my cock. He looked at me, those gorgeous eyes burning as he stared at me through the curtain of wispy fringe bangs that had fallen in his face. Then he closed his eyes like he was experiencing the world's greatest delicacy and it was all he could do to not fall into madness and ecstasy while he savored it. 

He gathered speed. He used both his hands in tandem with his mouth. Then Greg changed his angle a little bit, taking me further down into his throat. He stopped.

In a horse raspy voice that was more crackle than sound he said, "Need you."

Then he was on me again. My balls contracted so much I bit my bottom lip, trying to not pop off. He pushed my legs further apart. I was so swollen. I shook with need. Watching him go up and down on me, faster and faster, was too much to take.

I swung my arm up and out to the side and banged my fist against the headboard.

Greg stopped. He looked at me.

My mouth hung open, and I panted loudly until I could talk. "Can't hold on any longer. Please. Can't."

He traced one finger down the side of my shaft, and I almost came right there.

"Then don't, baby. I got you. Let me drink you down, all of you."

Fuck.

My feet were burning, my body coiled tight, my brain screaming at me to touch him. 

Then Greg slid his mouth over me. The suction was so tight and the rhythm so fast. I pounded the headboard with my fist again, and again, as I screwed my face up tight. I fought my body's need for release. I wanted to make it last so I didn't look like some school boy who came right away, but I certainly wasn't looking cool and collected as I bucked up under him, my whole body bowing off the bed in the throes of the pleasure.

Greg stopped.

I panted again and stared at him in disbelief.

Greg gave my cock one gentle stroke.

"Mine," he said. 

That one word was enough to put me over the edge. He barely had time to get me back into his mouth before I exploded. 

He sucked me down, continued sucking and milking until there was nothing left. I collapsed further into the pillows and listed on my side, completely spent.

Fireworks exploded, the quick succession of booms sounding like they were bursting right outside his window. They were completely anticlimactic.

Greg stood up and my lids drifted shut.

"Don't go to sleep on me, handsome."

Sleep? How about dead?

"I've got a part two in mind and you're going to want to be awake for this."

"Uh-oh," I said lazily. I really was a dead man.

# #

 Dear Reader,

If this story tickled you, then please be so kind as to honor me with a high five. It's only a mouse click away.

I love to hear from readers. (PG comments only please.) I read every note and welcome corrections and positive feedback. 

Please visit my author page and click on the contact page to get in touch with me. I really want to know what you think. It just takes a minute.

If you want to read more about any specific characters, please let me know. 

Enjoy!

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks, sincerely;

MJ



First Blush Ch. 02



This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Copyright belongs to MJ Roberts 2014. Please do not reproduce without permission from the author. 





First Blush Ch. 03



Eli

I opened my eyes, saw a sleek black dresser, and had no idea where I was. Sunlight was streaming through the big window. Someone was snoring. Greg.

Everything flooded back to me. The speeding car ride. My finger in the Bailey's. My fear. Greg's agonizing slowness. His mouth on my cock. The amazing grunting noises he made when he was inside me. 

I turned slightly to stare at Greg. His broad back faced me; his hair was mussed. I peered over at his face. He looked totally peaceful. His mouth He looked totally peaceful. His lips were relaxed and slightly parted as he breathed softly in his sleep.

God, that was the most incredible night of my life. I should send my cousin flowers or something for introducing us. Forget flowers. Something bigger, like a car or a house.

There was something I was supposed to remember from last night. Something he said as I was falling asleep maybe? I couldn't remember what.

I got up very slowly, carefully, and quietly. I wasn't crazy about the idea of putting my fancy suit back on, but it was all I had. I started to pull up my pants and my keys jangled.

"Morning, sexy." Greg's voice was sleepy.

I had my pants almost all the way up and I froze, not sure what to do. I'm not sure what my expression looked like. I'm guessing it was sort of 'walk of shamer gets caught', because Greg laughed. 

"Hey," I said.

"Would you like something more comfortable to put on?" he said pointing toward a drawer. "Shorts or something?"

"Ah, yeah." 

"Or you could just stay naked," he said and reached out toward me. "Yeah, I like that idea better. Naked."

I stood there, my pants almost up to my hips, not sure if I should pull them up that last little bit or not.

"Come here, baby," he said. He sat up a little bit and opened his arms. I left my pants where they were and held them up with one hand as I walked over to him.

He hugged me, burying his head in my upper chest.

"You feel so good. How can you feel so good?" I whispered. 

Greg just chuckled. He playfully pulled me over him onto the bed and my pants fell halfway down, because I hadn't fastened them.

"Are you a morning sex person? Or an I have to have coffee before I can fool around person?" Greg asked me.

Oh God, I didn't know. I started to blush. How inexperienced could I possibly be?

Greg put a hand on my lower back and ran a quick hand over one side of my ass and down my leg.

Fuck yeah.

Then my stomach growled.

"I guess you're a breakfast before sex person," Greg said.

He pushed me off him and got up.

Wait! I wanted to say. No, no. I'm a Greg before breakfast person. But of course I was too shy. He was already walking to the dresser. I admired his backside.

"Here. Put these on." He threw me a pair of shorts that were actually a pair of dark grey sweats that had been cut-off mid-thigh level. I pulled them on and tightened the drawstring. They were amazingly soft. I realized that he must have worn them and washed them hundreds of times to get them this soft. It was a turn-on wearing something that was a favorite of his.

"They look good on you," he said. He strode toward me with that hungry look in his eyes. "Maybe I can train you to wait for breakfast."

There was a loud knock at the door. 

"What?" Greg said.

"You expecting someone?" I asked.

He shook his head and put on a robe. He went to the door. 

I tip-toed down the short hall and peeked in the living room. 

Greg was standing in the open doorway. A gorgeous, over quaffed blond man was asking Greg for some papers. My cheeks got hot. Was it a lover who left something here?

"I told you maybe I'd stop by on Sunday," the blond said.

"Yeah," Greg said. "I just didn't think it would be so early, and I thought you would call first."

Greg turned around and went through the dining area into what must have been his office. He left the front door open, probably so it wouldn't seem like he was shutting it in this guy's face. The guy let himself in and walked into the middle of the living room. He turned around to take the place in, so as soon as he got the hallway, he saw me, watching him from the shadows.

"Oh-ho," he said and jumped a little.

Shit. I didn't think about what it might mean, to have someone Greg knew see a guy coming from what was obviously the bedroom area in just a pair of shorts.

"Are you one of Greg's students?" My face burned hot. I shook my head furiously. 

Greg came back into the room with a stack of papers. "Found it."

"Hey, Howard." Greg smacked the papers against the man's chest. "Stop staring. I see you met my friend."

I shook my head again. Greg was talking to Howard, but still I hadn't met him so the headshake seemed natural to me.

Greg came and took my wrist and pulled me forward. "Howard, this is my  friend, Eli. Eli, this is Howard."

Howard looked me up and down. He stuck his hand out, and I automatically stuck my hand out to shake it. 

"I can't stay," he said. "I'm on my way to church. I'm sorry to have dropped by so early, it's just that it's on the way."

"Nice to meet you," I said.

Howard nodded. He bobbed the papers up and down. "We are going to discuss this, Greg." Howard walked to the door, but then looked over his shoulder at Greg for one parting shot. "Assuming your boy-toy doesn't wear you out."

"Fucker," Greg said good-naturedly after he shut the door. "Now where were we?" He turned to me and I'm not sure what he saw in my expression, but he didn't like it. I turned and walked back to the bedroom, thinking maybe I should just leave.

"Hey," Greg said. "Hey, hey."

I looked around the bedroom like I couldn't decide what to do first. Put my dress shirt on?

"Hey," Greg said again. He grabbed me and pushed me up against a wall. "What's bugging you?"

"You and him," I jerked my head toward the front door. "I mean... you..." I looked down. I had no claim to Greg. None. I had no right to be jealous. 

"Me? With him? No. Eli. Hey, no." He tilted my head up so I looked at him. "Never. We went out on one date, when he first came to the University four years ago."

I put my hands over my middle - trying to cradle the awful empty feeling that plummeted into the pit of my stomach.. Greg took my wrists and held them up against the wall on either side of my head.

"Listen to me Eli," he said. "He punctuated each point by taking my wrists and slapping them back against the wall gently. "Never." Bam. "Slept." Bam. "With him." Bam.

Of their own accord, my hips surged toward him. He pressed me into the wall, using his hips to capture mine. Greg nuzzled my neck.

"Is that what bothered you?"

Yeah. But I'm not going to say that. "A lot of things bothered me I guess."

"Listen, Eli, I've had lovers. But I don't have any that I'm casually fucking. I don't have a love trove of guys who think it's okay to just come over and get a booty call. I'm not seeing anyone and I'm not going to see anyone else while I see you."

Greg dropped my wrists. "I want to give this thing a chance," he said. "So I'm not going to see any other guys while I..." he ran a hand down my side and my whole body leaned into him. He chuckled. "While I give this a chance to bloom. Okay?"

I nodded.

"That jealousy thing is kinda cute, though."

I blushed.

"Was that the only thing that bothered you?" Greg let me go. When I didn't answer him right away, he nodded his head toward the door and walked into the kitchen. I followed him. 

"The whole thing bothered me," I said. "He, I don't know, he rubbed me the wrong way or something. I was worried that maybe people didn't know you were gay at school, and that it wouldn't look good."

Greg scrunched up his nose. "Whatever. I have tenure, they can think whatever the hell they want. I'm not a flaunter, but I'm not a hider either."

"He asked me if I was one of your students."

Greg whipped around to look at me. "He what? The little shit."

"Yeah," I said, and looked down at my feet.

Greg put down the carton of eggs he was holding. 

"I don't date students. Just so you know. That was a shitty thing to say."

"I thought so too, but... I guess I get where he's coming from." I gestured to myself. "I look like a well-fucked teenage Howdy Doody."

Greg laughed. "You do not." He pulled me to him. "Well, maybe the well-fucked part. Are you well-fucked?"

"Better than ever before," I said and we both laughed.

"Do you like omelets?"

"One of my favorites," I said.

"Good, because it's one of my specialties."

Just another way we fit.

"Come on, you can wash the yellow peppers and the tomatoes while I crack eggs."

I had more fun over breakfast than probably any meal I'd ever had. Just being there. I looked down at my empty plate and played with my fork.

"What?" Greg said.

"What, what?" I asked.

"What has you looking forlorn and playing with your pretend food?"

I shrugged. "Nothing. This was a great breakfast. It's an amazing holiday weekend. I just want it to last."

"One second at a time, Keemosabe. Or Howdy Doody. Or Mad Lib."

I smiled at him. 

"Not that I see you that way, of course. I see light striking off the hundreds of shades of light grey of your hair, and pearly luminescent almost white of your skin, and darker grey of your lips, and I see a masterpiece better that's better than any artist could ever capture."

It wasn't right to like a guy this much when you only met him the day before. But what was I going to do? He was right. Carpe diem and all that. I had to just live with it.

"How about we take a shower together?"

Oh. That will be new. Carpe diem indeed. I nodded my head. Maybe a little too enthusiastically, because he laughed.

Greg's bathroom was like everything else in his place. New, modern, black, grey, and white. He adjusted the water. I watched the robe glide over his back and butt as he moved. He took off his robe and threw it on the back of the toilet. Greg crouched in front of me and grazed his teeth over the side of my belly. He opened the drawstring, and pushed one side of the shorts down, rasped his teeth on the part of my hip he'd exposed.

The shorts were basically caught on my erection. Greg looked up at me and smiled. He took the waistband of the shorts in his teeth and pulled out and then slowly pulled the shorts down.

"Now you're just showing off," I said.

Greg caressed my dick and I groaned. "I think  you're  showing off," he said.

He stepped in and held out a hand to me. I got in with him. As soon as he closed the shower door it was like we were in our own little world. There was the sound of the pounding of the water hitting the tile and the fresh warmth from the steam rising around us. Greg squirted shampoo in his hands and motioned for me to turn around. Then his hands were in my hair, massaging, rubbing, working in the shampoo. 

"Gaahhh...ooohh," I said.

He laughed. "How come you don't make that sound when we're in bed?"

"Um, 'cause you're not rubbing my head like this when we're in bed?" I asked. "Is that a trick question?"

Greg laughed again. The shampoo smelled like green tea and apples. Greg had one of those fancy showerheads that came off the wall. Something I didn't have at home or had at school.

He held my head back, protecting my face from the water with one hand while he held the showerhead close and rinsed my hair with the other.

"That's two luxuries I don't have at home," I said when he'd finished.

"What?"

"Ah, moveable showerheads and personal hair wash guy."

He chuckled. 

"The only one who ever washes my hair is the old Korean lady in the chair thing at the hairdresser's, and when she does it, it doesn't feel like this."

Greg kissed my neck. "No?"

"No."

"Does it feel like this?" He fit my body to his, clamped one arm around my chest, ran a hand down my side.

I shook my head. Suddenly I was struggling to catch my breath. Greg's body was so slick up against mine, electricity shot through me and one word roared in my head. 'Need.'

Greg bit my earlobe softly. He soaped up his hands and then went back to holding me the same way, my back to his front, my ass snuggled up to his hips so I could feel his erection pressing firmly against me. 

"We fit," I whispered. I didn't think he heard me over the water but he must have.

"Yeah, baby. We fit. We fit perfectly."

Greg took one soapy hand and wrapped it around my cock. "Put your hand over mine," he said, his voice low and growly through the sound of the water. I did. The absolute weirdness of feeling another man's strong hand between my own and my cock completely at odds with how amazingly right it felt. Staring down at both of our hands was more erotic than I possibly could have imagined.

Greg turned my head around so he could kiss me. The kiss matched the stroking, slow, languorous. Then he let go of my face and went back to kissing my neck. The combined anonymity of having him behind me and yet knowing it was him was a huge turn on.

"Set the pace," Greg said. 

I shook my head.

He stroked my cock, long and slow. "Show me," he said. "Show me how you'd do it if you were alone."

I shook my head again.

"Why are you shaking your head, hon?"

"I want you to lead," I whispered.

"What?"

He put his ear to my mouth. "You," I said. "You. I want you lead."

"I am leading," he said.

"Totally," I said. I surprised myself. I wasn't even sure what I meant by that. He kept stroking my cock with that same rhythm and I ground my ass back into him. "When you had my wrists pinned to the wall, it was so hot," I whispered.

"You liked that?"

I nodded furiously. Greg started to pump his fist slightly faster and I bit my bottom lip.

"What else do you like?"

"You," I said. "Just you."

He stilled his hand completely. 

Ah, fuck.

Suddenly I was aware that I was panting. 

"What. Else."

I didn't know what to say. I loved everything. He gave my cock a firm squeeze.

"Answer me, Eli. What else do you like?"

"I like it when you blow me," I whispered. "I love it when you're behind me like this, and you have your hand on my cock, and my hand's around yours, and you're stroking me. Please, Greg, please. Don't stop. I like this. This. I like this."

He resumed the stroking and my body arched into his. 

"I like when you set the pace," I said. "I like when..." My eyelids fluttered as my sentence drifted off.

Greg gripped my hair and yanked my head back.

"What?"

That.

"When what?" Greg asked. "You like it when what?"

Except my throat constricted. All I could do was moan. My whole body was hot. Steaming. Everything was magnified. The hard ridge of Greg's cock behind me, the feel of my palm against the back of his hand, the pressure of being so close to the edge.

Greg slowed his stroking and I whimpered.

"You like it when what?"

I braced my hands against the cool, white tile wall and the glass door and opened my legs further, because I was worried without bracing and the wider stance I'd have trouble standing.

"I like it... when... you..." but then his stroking picked up speed and I was grunting, not speaking. "You. You. You."

He turned us slightly and then the water was pouring down onto my chest and my cock.

I tried to say, 'I like it when you take control.' But then I was coming, shooting up and out into the water and over my hand. I half collapsed and Greg held me up.

"I guess I'll just have to figure it out," Greg said in my ear, his voice sounding like a low and sexy purr. Greg soaped his hands up and washed my whole body, quick strokes that were tender and efficient. 

The water got slightly colder. Greg adjusted it so it was warm again. He hugged me to him and his erection pressed tightly against my belly. "You are so sweet, Eli. You have no idea. So, deliciously damn sweet."

I nodded into his shoulder. 

Greg bit my neck and suckled. He pulled away for a minute and shampooed, soaped, and rinsed himself quickly, all the while making sure I was still in the warm spray. He flung his hair out of his eyes. Then he gave me a hug. He was holding me to him when he said, "Well, baby, you ready to get out of the water?"

I nodded and shook my head at the same time. So I ended up bouncing my chin against his shoulder in jerky motions.

"I don't know what that means," Greg said.

"I want to stay in here forever," I said.

"We don't have condoms in here," Greg said.

"And I'm totally ready to get out."

Greg chuckled.

He dried me with care, which was wonderful because I hate drying myself. I'll walk around half dripping sometimes because I'm too lazy to towel off thoroughly. Then he used the towel like a rope around my midsection to pull me toward the bed.

"So," I said, suddenly nervous and awkward again, staring at his erection. I bit my bottom lip. I had no more words to add anyway.

"That's fucking sexy when you bite you lip like that, baby," Greg said. He kissed me and pulled my bottom lip between his teeth. "But then everything about you is sexy."

Just like that, my nervousness went away. "I'm awkward, and geeky, and inexperienced, and you're like this happy tiger with a favorite meal."

"Uh-huh," Greg said. He pushed me down on the bed. "And hungry. Very, very hungry."

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Copyright belongs to MJ Roberts 2014. Please do not reproduce without permission from the author. 



Dear Reader,

If this story tickled you, then please be so kind as to honor me with a high five. It's only a mouse click away.

I love to hear from readers. (PG comments only please.) I read every note and welcome corrections, suggestions, and positive feedback. 

You can leave a public comment or use the contact tab on my author page to get in touch with me. I really want to know what you think. It just takes a minute.

I tend to put up chapters as I think they should go together, but sometimes they just come up as I write them.

If you want to read more about any specific characters, please let me know. 

Enjoy!

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks, sincerely;

MJ





First Blush Ch. 04



Greg *

I pushed Eli down on the bed with a hard shove and fell on top of him. He laughed. It was a great, joyous sound. 

"You have no idea how hot you are," I said.

"I'm not hot," he said.

"The fact that you don't know it, just makes you even hotter," I said. I nibbled little bites up his neck. "And don't contradict me again. You're the fucking hottest thing on the planet. The only thing hotter than looking at you, and hearing you laugh, and showering with you, is knowing I get to be inside you."

Eli arched up into me. I nestled my erection into his hip. He had come in the shower but I hadn't, and I wanted him. I was torn between wanting to rush and wanting to definitely not rush.

"So," I said teasingly. "You want me to lead...totally."

He flushed deeply from his head to toes; it was the darkest grey I'd seen him go so far, his skin probably looked purple.

"Oh, you heard that."

"Oh, yeah," I growled. "I heard that."

His skin actually got darker.

I laughed. "It's okay, baby." I kissed down his nose, his cheeks, his jaw, the places that had just changed color. They were warm. "I like it."

Eli closed his eyes and looked like he was concentrating on his breathing, deep breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth.

"As a matter of fact," I said and I ground my cock against his, which was already semi-hard again, "I really like it."

He smiled up at me; it was beatific, positively angelic. 

"I want to do what you like," he said softly.

Inwardly I groaned. My cock twitched against him.

"But, I don't know what that is?"

The way he made it a question had the show me, tell me, please, part laced right into it.

I'm not someone who usually dates younger guys, but something about his innocence and openness was a huge turn on.

"I mean, do you like..." He put his hand out, palm down, then slid it around until it was palm up. The way he made the motion I thought he was caressing something at first, it took me a second to figure out what he was getting at.

I shook my head. "I'm a total top," I said. I could see from his facial expression that he hadn't heard that saying before. I watched as he digested the meaning and then his face relaxed. He smiled.

"I've bottomed before, it's just not my thing," I said. I paused. "I mean, it feels really good."

His face screwed up.

"But it doesn't feel right."

Eli's face relaxed again. I liked that he was so easy to read. No guessing with this one. 

I kissed down his chest until I came to his nipples and sucked on one for a bit. I kissed down his body, enjoying how incredibly smooth his fresh-washed skin was. There was just something about him.

"I want you so much, Eli," I said. My voice came out low and husky and he arched up into me again. "But..."

He stared up at me, so completely open and vulnerable to my lead. Something in my heart broke.

"But I want to do everything right. I want to talk to you, listen to you, know you."

"Right now?" he said.

"Well," I said. "Maybe not right now, maybe in a minute." I wanted to kiss the top of his head and work down, not missing anywhere. I got distracted kissing his ear, then his jaw. 

I forced myself to go slowly. I didn't want Eli to think that I just wanted his body. Although, boy did I want it. I wanted him to know it was him, all of him, that had captured my interest.

I rubbed my nose near his crotch. "I want to teach you to do so many, dirty, filthy, things. Really nasty," I said. I looked up at him and smiled. 

He smiled back at me. Then he apparently thought of something that bothered him and his face went quickly from panic to disgust. I was trying to talk dirty to him, not freak him out.

I scooted up next to him. He started choking. Whatever he had thought of was making him gag! I slid one arm behind his shoulders. Worry spiked through me. What the hell could bother him so much? Last night he offered to blow me, so the idea of having my cock in his mouth couldn't be what had him gagging so badly. What was it?

"Eli," I said firmly. "Eli!" Shit, shit, shit. "What are you thinking about?"

He shook his head, embarrassed I think, to say whatever had him all caught up.

"Breathe, baby, breathe." I forced myself to breathe very slowly, hoping he'd mimic my pattern. I gathered him in close and held his chin. "We are not, EVER, going to do anything that makes you react like that."

He made one last retching sound and calmed down. I'd have to be really careful with him. "Baby," I said. I pulled him close to me and stroked the side that wasn't up against me. "Sssh... I'm a perv, but I'm not that much of a perv." 

His coloring went back to normal. I kissed his cheek and stroked down his chest. "But you've got me really curious now, baby, what were you thinking about?"

A fresh stain appeared on his cheeks. He shook his head.

Damn, he's cute when he's embarrassed. "Let me think," I said. What would have him gagging? I could only think of one thing.

"Snowballing?"

He started choking again.

"Sshh, sshh, shhh." A fierce desire to protect him rose up in me. I straddled him and grabbed his face in my palms. "Listen to me, Eli. We will never, ever do anything you don't want to do. Never."

He calmed a little, but not enough.

"That's not my thing, doesn't turn me on. I don't want to see you drink your own cum."

He relaxed.

I do however want to see you drink mine, I thought. But it wasn't the moment for more dirty talk.

I got off him and gathered him to my side again. "Trust me, I can think of a thousand fantasies that are super hot." I started caressing him and pulled him up against me even harder. "Fuck. The reality is super hot. I don't need anything that doesn't put you over the moon to get my rocks off."

I took his hand and put it on my dick, which was still pretty hard.

"You do that Eli, you." I took his hand off my cock and he whimpered.

"I am going to find out what turns you on and you are going to find out what turns me on. We're not going to do anything we don't both like. It seems like we're in a pretty good synch so far."

He nodded.

I started bring my hand from his side to his crotch, making big circles over his hip, balls, cock, abdomen, and back to his side. He thrust his hips up.

Seeing him react, it was all right there, all his emotions so close to the surface. 

"Baby," I whispered. "I would rip apart anyone who ever threatened you. Growl and take down anyone who wanted to hurt you. And I certainly would never put you in a position you where you might feel bad, or uncomfortable, and I put you there myself. Never."

I didn't know where the words were coming from. He looked up at me like I was a hero. Fuck. But I guess that was okay because right now I felt like I would step in front of a speeding bullet for him.

"Baby, please," I whispered. I kissed his ear. I just didn't know what else to say to him to let him know how great he was. "You don't know," I said. "I don't have words for it. How I want to make everything special for you."

There was no way to describe how big he made me feel. I scooted down and kissed the back of one of his knees. I kissed my way up the back of his thighs. I opened his legs wider, and continued kissing up, but when he realized where I was heading he backed away from me shaking his head.

"Gross," he said.

I wrapped a firm arm around his lower stomach and dragged him back to me. "Eli..." I said firmly and I let the just the hint of a reprimand skim through my tone. "Trust me. You have to trust me." I yanked him back down into the middle of the bed and opened his legs further. 

I could feel his nervousness and I could tell he didn't want me to tongue his hole. "Eli, look at me," I said very firmly. I let my fingers trace where I was going to go, close, but not inside. "Okay?"

He nodded.  My entire chest got hot, maybe because I was flooded with emotion by how much he trusted me when he was so vulnerable like this. I kissed the taught back of his thigh and up to where it met the curve of his ass. I let my tongue reach and just barely trace the delicate skin near where outside changed to inside, almost but not quite reaching the sunburst of lines where I'd enter him. And I licked so carefully, teasing, staying clearly on the side of safety.

Eli arched up off the bed. Suddenly something changed for me. It wasn't about my pleasure, or our pleasure. It was about him. And letting him know we were connected. But more than that. It was about pouring everything I could into all these touches to let him know I would do anything I could to lead him into the most wonderful romance. I scooted up beside him and dragged a finger down his sternum and then circled his heart.

He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Baby," was all I could say. I tried to infuse something into my voice, all the tenderness and want and expansion I felt. But it was impossible. I clasped one of his hands to mine and held it over my heart.

"Yeah, I want to bury myself in you, over and over," I whispered. "But it's not a good idea, not so soon after last night."

Eli made a face like he was going to say he could take it whether it made him sore or not. I shook my head.

"There will be plenty of time for that, sweetheart. Plenty. Now, I just want to connect with you." I squeezed his hand tighter.

He smiled at me, bright as the sun.

"You turn me into a mush, Eli," I said. "I'm not usually like this." I bit his earlobe. "I'm a big, tough, strong guy," I said. I licked the shell of his outer ear. "All this sappy stuff, well..."

I looked at him and he was grinning like an idiot. I nuzzled my face into his neck. I had to switch the hand that was holding his into my other hand so I could have my right hand free to stroke him.

"Spend the day with me?" I asked.

He nodded.

"I'm usually pretty private, but you just strip my defenses raw," I said.

He shrugged. 

"Look at me, E."

He did.

We stayed like that, staring intently at each other, holding our clasped hands over his heart, with me stroking his side, and his belly, and near his cock, caressing him, ever so slowly.

Finally I said, "Close your eyes," and he did. I just watched him, the most beautiful tableau I've ever seen. I reached down and grabbed that hard column, barely moving at first, just letting him feel.

I increased my pace steadily, watching every little change. How his mouth opened slightly, and his breathing got shorter and louder. How his eyes scrunched tight as he tried to fight it. I locked his torso tight into mine as he arched up and bit his lip. Watched the glorious, riotous bloom of pleasure on his face the second before he exploded all over his stomach and my hand.

Eli opened his eyes and looked at me like I was some type of God. For as long as I live, I'll never forget it.

I got a cloth to clean him up, and gathered him to me. I just held him, cuddling him and holding him as he drifted off. I had a fierce desire to show him parts of my life, everything from what my classes were like to joining in the racket ball game I had scheduled for later this afternoon.

I wondered what he thought about assisting teaching at the U. Did he even live nearby? We had so much to talk about. 

He was completely limp in my arms, and his breathing lengthened.

One step at a time Keemosabe. 

Maybe it had been a mistake, jumping into bed with him so soon. I wanted to woo him. Maybe I could start over in a way, and woo him fresh, every day.

I'd have to think of a plan. Because I wanted everything about his introduction into... whatever this was, to be as perfect as I could make it.

I wouldn't fail. 

Maybe every date, every sexcapade I'd had until this moment was practice for this. 

Who knows?

I was content to watch him. Eventually my eyelids got heavy and I shifted him slightly so his head was resting on my chest. I breathed in the fresh scent of his hair.

I couldn't remember ever being so content.

I'd take him out on a real date tonight if he was free.

Hopefully this was a start of something really good.

*

I cancelled my racket ball game. I offered that Eli could come with, but he'd never played before, and three people on one court with a newbie could be a little much.

"The mathematical probability that I'd get hit or trip over my own feet or both is pretty good," Eli said. "Close to one hundred percent."

Part of me wanted to spend all day in bed with him, but I didn't want to overload him, or wear him out.

We went for a walk instead.

We ended up at a street fair that was going on at a park. I'm not a big public displays of affection guy, and being with Eli didn't change that, but I found I often put my hand on his lower back to steer him through the crowd, or held hands while we looked at something. 

I bought him a corn dog on a stick, and he ate it with no thought at all to how absolutely sexy he looked doing it. He was just pure pleasure. I also bought him a large salted pretzel, which he fed me a bite of, and I lingered just a second to long, licking his fingers.

I wanted to buy him something, but I didn't really see anything appropriate. There were a lot of big paintings, and pottery, and silver jewelry, but nothing that really seemed like it was right for him. Yet, I wanted to commemorate the day.

Finally we came to a booth that had these small prints laminated on key chains. I found one I liked. It had multiple shades, going from light to dark. I picked it up.

"What color is it?" I whispered to Eli.

He looked at it and then at me. "It's a series of reds. Carroty-red, orangey, pinkish, warm red, burgundy."

"So it's like you then," I said. "A perfect combination of amazing colors."

He blushed.

"We'll take it," I said to the clerk.

I gave it to Eli, and brushed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I want you to have something from this weekend."

He blushed again, and I could see what he was thinking.

I laughed. "Something else from this weekend."

Eli took the key chain and immediately put his keys on it. "I love it," he said.

"I'm glad."

I took his hand in mine and we walked the rest of the way up one side of the street and back the other. The sun was shining, the sound of kids laughing percolated through the adult conversations, and the smells of food from the street vendors as we passed by all added to the perfection of the day.

We found a place in the park to sit down, and sat on the grass.

"Can I ask you something?" Eli asked.

"Sure," I said.

"Ah..."

I just stared at him. "What?"

"Um, what's you ethnicity?"

I laughed. "You're wondering about my tan," I said. 

"Yeah," he said, and looked embarrassed. He blushed, but just very slightly.

"I mean, you don't have to tell me."

"No, I don't mind," I said. "You can ask me anything, Eli. Really. I'm mostly French and English, and I'm part Native American. So this is as light as I get. I'll get even darker in the summer."

"I like it," he whispered.

"I'm glad. My maternal grandmother is three-quarters Cherokee, and she grew up on a reservation. I spent all my summers there as a kid, with my sister and my cousins, learning the traditions."

"Neat," Eli said.

I laughed at that, because it seemed like such a childish word. 

"Is your grandmother still alive?"

"Yeah, she lives with my parents now. I see them a lot."

Eli nodded.

"What about you?" I asked.

"What about me? Oh. Um, let's see. I'm Irish and Polish. My family has been in the United States for over a century. And I'm Jewish."

"Really?"

"A hundred percent."

I didn't really have anything to say to that.

"My family's not very religious though. We celebrate all the major holidays, but that's about it."

"Did you have a..." it took me a second to think of the right word, "Bar mitzvah?"

"Yeah," he said. "I was so nervous I broke out in hives, it was really embarrassing. But I'm glad I did it."

We were quiet for a few minutes after that.

"When did you know you were gay?" Eli asked me.

I shrugged. "I guess I was about twelve or thirteen and I sort of suspected."

"Me too," he said.

I lay back on the grass and pulled Eli next to me.

"I should have courted you more," I said. "Maybe not slept with you on the first date, not even a date."

"It was perfect," Eli said.

"I can buy you a nice dinner tonight," I said.

"Whatever," Eli said. "I'd love a nice dinner. I'd also be just as happy with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as long as it's with you."

He started turning color and slapped his hands over his face.

"Damn fair coloring," he said.

"I like it," I said. "I'll never have to guess with you."

"Well, that's great for you. Me, I don't get to hide or win at poker."

I laughed. 

"Come on, Eli, let's walk back."

He told me stories about his brothers as we walked back. 

Once we got home, I looked on the internet, and found a fancy Italian restaurant that I thought would make for a good date night. We got a romantic table in the back, and I made sure Eli ate until he was full, which was a lot of food, for a somewhat skinny guy, he could put it away.

When we were done, it was time to drive him home. Part of me didn't want him to leave.

"Where do you live, kiddo?"

"In Statesburg," he said.

Yikes.

"I can take a bus, if it's too far."

"No, no, don't be silly, baby. I'll drive you. It's late. I don't mind." And I didn't. I opened the car door for him. Statesburg was about an hour and a half away, the way I drove, when there was no traffic, which there wasn't. 

He was easy to talk to. We talked math theory, and physics, TV shows, and movies.

"Hey, I have a question," he said.

"What?"

"What's the deal with Pluto being downgraded from a planet?"

I laughed. "I had nothing to do with that," I said.

"I mean, I liked Pluto."

"Yeah, baby," I said. "Me too."

Then we were at his place. It was a small three-story building, in what looked like a so-so neighborhood.

"I live with two roommates," he said.

I nodded.

"I need your number, baby," I said. 

We both took out our phones. I called his, then we were set. He started to open his door, but I stopped him.

"I can't see you this week," I said. "This is the last week of classes before final exams. I have extra office hours, teacher assistant evaluations to complete, and papers to grade."

"Okay," he said, and for once I couldn't read him.

"But I'd really like to see you again. Next weekend?"

He smiled. Big, bright, and beautiful.

"I'd like that."

I reached over and kissed him. He tasted wonderful, like the tiramisu he had for desert, and under that, strong, willing male.

"Baby," I said, softly pulling his forehead to mine.

"I need a nickname for you," he whispered.

"I need a good one for you, Blushes. All the ones I have sound too mushy, and I'm not a mushy guy."

"So you say," he said. He smiled. He nipped at my lower lip, and then he was gone.

I waited until he was in his building, and then I drove away. I pulled over just a few blocks later.

I put my head against the steering wheel. I had only known him the weekend, but he definitely got under my skin.

"I don't think I've ever liked someone so much," I said out loud to myself. That scared me a little. I banged my head against the steering wheel once, twice. "I shouldn't be this possessive. I just met him." I stopped talking out loud but I knew what I was thinking, at some point, he would probably need to date someone else to get some more experience. But I felt like if any one else touched him, I'd beat them to a pulp. 

"Get a grip," I told myself.

I put the car in gear and drove. After a few minutes I had a silly grin on my face. It had been a great day.

*

The week went by unbearably slow. It seemed like all my students had fried their brains. The University had some computer breakdown in payroll and everyone's checks were delayed. The library had a small fire, and the water damage from the sprinklers caused major problems.




First Blush Ch. 04



The only high points of my week were talking to, and emailing Eli.

Then finally, it was the weekend.

I had reservations for dinner, and then plans to take him to a movie. When he arrived at my place he was so enthusiastic and eager. He gave me a big hug and peppered my face and neck with kisses. My plans immediately went out the window. I lead him to the bedroom and got him naked in record time. 

I didn't even take off any of my clothes. I pushed him down on the bed, and held his wrists down while I plundered his mouth. Then I kissed him all over, biting the sensitive place where his neck met his shoulder. I lavished his nipples, which made him arch up into me. I worked my way down, marveling at how clean, and smooth, and fresh, and wonderful the skin on his belly was. I nipped at his hip, slid my hands up his thighs, and then I was there. I stood up his hard column and sucked it into my mouth, and the combination groan sigh he made was music to my ears.

I forced myself to start slowly, despite the fact that I was so hungry for him, I wanted to hurry, hurry. I used my mouth and hand, brought him to the edge, slowed down, brought him to the edge again, over and over until he was pleading.

It was so good, so simple, so hot. 

"You're delicious," I said. 

In a quick move I flipped him over onto his hands and knees. I got what I needed from the nightstand, and prepared him for me. I rolled the condom on my cock and paused, slid one hand over his low back as he arched slightly. I marveled again at how smooth and creamy and young his skin was.

"You're so beautiful, Eli," I whispered. And then I pushed into him. Very slowly, watching our bodies join, feeling like a deep possession was struck as he cursed on an exhale.

"Feels. So. Good." He said.

Once I was fully seated in him to the hilt I paused, letting him adjust.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," he breathed.

And then I started pounding, relentless. Once I started, I just went harder and harder, faster and faster; it was like I couldn't stop. I reached around and grabbed his hardness, stroking him in time with my hammering, until I heard him cry out and stiffen and squeeze around me.

"Greg!" he screamed, and his voice was the most beautiful thing I ever heard. My toes were on fire, and then my legs, and my entire body quaked as I pounded into him one last time, my vision exploding in white light, as I collapsed on top of him.

My panting sounded so loud.

I rolled us onto our sides, still joined for a second. He started laughing hysterically.

"It's not right that it should feel that good," he said. "That's just... you're the physics guy, you understand the universe, but that's not normal, right?"

Now I chuckled. "No baby, it's not. It's exceptional."

"I thought so," he said. "Not that I have any frame of reference. But there's no way the world could function if everyone's mind gets blown that hugely. I don't think I can stand."

"Well the good thing, baby, is you don't have to. You probably shouldn't say things like that though. You'll inflate my ego."

"I don't care," Eli said. "You're probably the best lover in the whole world. You deserve an inflated ego."

I laughed. I pulled him to me so we were spooned together, making sure he had enough pillow tucked under his head.

"You want to rest for a little bit?" I asked him.

"Yeah, that would be nice."

"I'll feed you in a little bit," I said.

"That would be great. I'm famished."

"You're always famished," I said.

He shrugged. "What can I say? High metabolism."

I smiled. It suited me; I liked feeding him. It felt like providing for him, every way I could do that pleased me.

"Rest, baby," I said.

*

I woke up with someone softly kissing my neck. Eli.

Tons of little butterfly kisses, getting firmer. Then he jumped on me. I rolled over on him and pinned him down. He was smiling.

"Am I allowed to do that?" he asked.

I ground my morning wood into him. "Do what? Wake me up with kisses? You bet."

"Initiate," he said.

"Oh," I said. "Is that what that was?"

He blushed. God, I will never get over loving how easily he blushes.

"Yeah, that's what that was. I've been awake for like, 15 minutes, but it seemed like 15 hours, and you looked so good just sleeping there, and I wanted you—"

"Show me," I said, and rolled off him.

"What?"

"Show. Me." I growled. I threw the sheets and blankets off the bed. Eli was just wearing a pair of my shorts. I took his hand and put it over his slightly growing bulge.

I moved his forearm for him a little bit. "Take your shorts off, E."

He looked at me, with a delicious combination of innocence, lust, and wonder. Like he couldn't believe I just said that, so it took him a minute to process, and as soon as he did, he scurried to follow my direction.

"Stroke yourself for me, Eli," I said. "Let me see how much you want me."

"I want you," he said.

"Then do it. Let me see."

He did. His head tilted back into the pillow, and his low back arched up, and his cock was completely hard and beautiful in a few strokes. I took one of his nipples and rubbed it between my fingers, and he moaned.

I thrust my hand into his hair, fisted a handful, and pulled gently, and his body jacked up hard while he moaned loudly. 

"Don't come yet, baby," I said. The hair pull had almost put him over the edge. I'd have to remember that.

"Oh, God, Greg. I need you. Please, I need you," he said. "I'll do anything, please, Greg, please."

I leaned down until my mouth was at his ear. "Please, what, babe?"

"Please be inside me, Greg." His eyelids fluttered. "Please make love to me. Don't make me wait anymore, please, I'm begging you."

"Okay, okay, baby, don't worry," I said. "I'll take care of you." 

I kissed him. I let all the hot, fierce need that had built in me from watching him, pour into the kiss. I broke away for a minute to get what I needed from the bedside dresser, and lined myself up with entrance.

I kissed him again, stroked his cock, let the urgency wash over me.

"Please!" Eli said again and I plunged into him. 

His hands were on my hips and ass immediately, pulling me, begging me, urging me to pump right away. I felt triumphant; I wanted to laugh and roar and shout.  But I just stared at him. He had his eyes closed and his head tipped back and his mouth open, and he looked like he was in the best place in the world. And maybe he was.

I let loose with my hips, driving into him, moving small circles with the in and out and side to side. The headboard banged against the wall as I increased the force of the rhythm, and I had a vague thought that I was denting the drywall, but who the fuck cared? This was Eli, I would fuck the bed through the wall and not stop if it would get him to look like that.

I wanted to palm him, but I needed both hands for leverage, the way I was going.

"Do it for me, baby," I said. "Come for me, Eli. Show me. Explode."

And he did. No sooner had I finished the word explode then I felt his release between us, and with a huge shout, and the universe expanding, I followed a second after.

"Now that's the way to wake up," I said at the same time he said,

"I guess it's okay then if I initiate sometimes."

"Initiate anytime you want, Blushes. I like knowing you want me as much as I want you. Because I do want you, I want you big time."

He smiled at that, a pure, huge smile.

"I love your smile," I said.

He blushed and looked down.

"Come on, babe. Let's shower and clean up. I've got plans for today."

"Really? What?" He said, sounding like an eager puppy.

"You'll see," I said and slapped him on the butt as he ran for the shower. "Come on."

I took time washing his hair for him in the shower, and remembered how hot it was being under the water with him last weekend. I cleaned up quickly myself. I dried him off, glad that I sprung for the new fancy towels.

"All right baby," I said, and I went to fix him a big break breakfast. I made a stack of waffles, and eggs, and bacon, and gave him a bowl of cut berries. He put the eggs and bacon between two waffles and ate it like a sandwich, and then asked if he could have a bowl of ice cream to put on his next set of waffles for the berries.

I laughed silently, feeling my stomach move with my chortles. "The rest of those waffles were going to be for me," I said.

"Oh," he said, and blushed.

I got out some vanilla ice cream and gave him the rest of the waffles. I kissed the top of his head and went about making more batter.

Then I turned and saw how great he looked, enjoying his food. He had folded a waffle like a cone, scooped the ice cream inside, put the berries on top, and was licking and biting the thing.

Fuck more cooking.

I made a purring growl deep in my throat. I pulled out a chair, so hard it made a scraping noise, and sat down. Then I yanked him up and sat him down on my lap.

"That's better," I said.

He looked startled for a minute. I shifted him a little bit to make sure he was comfortable. 

"Go ahead, baby," I said softly, "Finish your breakfast."

Eli smiled at me, shrugged, and then went back to eating his cone-like concoction. 

I held my arms loosely around him and nuzzled my nose in his neck.

"You smell so good," I said.

"Whatever," he said. "It's your shampoo and soap."

"No baby, it's my shampoo and soap on you." 

I nibbled gently at the sensitive skin between the base of his skull and the back of his ear.  "You're what I want for breakfast."

His skin colored a little at that.

"But, we already missed the dinner and a movie I had planned for last night." I gave him a tap on the thigh. "Come on, E. Let's get going; I don't want to be late."

I watched him while we got dressed. Eli had his back toward me. He put on a T-shirt that fit him very nicely, in some medium shade that there was no way I could even guess at the color, and worn jeans, that also fit him nicely. I realized that I was ogling his ass, and that was not going to help us get out of the house. I put on black jeans and a white button-down shirt. I grabbed a hoodie for Eli, in case he got cold, and off we went.

When we were in the car Eli said, "My youngest brother, Joe, had an idea that we should see as many movies as we could with the word Dead in the title. So we watched Dead Poets Society, and Dead Man Walking, and Pirates of the Caribbean – Dead Man's Chest."

I took my eyes off the road for a second to look at him. He was turned completely facing me in his seat, animated.

"Then we watched 'Shaun of the Dead'," Eli said.

"Mmn, that's a classic."

"And that turned into, how many zombie movies could we watch this week."

"Oh," I said.

"So I have a new genre I love. I saw Evil Dead, and Evil Dead 2, and Dead Snow, and—"

I started laughing. "I get it."

"Deadgirl, Braindead, Land of the Dead, Return of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Day of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead."

The more he went on, the funnier it got.

"Then World War Z. Did you see that?"

I shook my head.

"It was pretty good."

"Dude. You have too much time on your hands. You need a job."

"Yeah. Starting Wednesday, I'm working part-time at the community college near me cataloging back library inventory until the fall when I start that assistant position there."

"Did you think about what I said, about UW?"

He didn't answer so I had to glance over to see him shaking his head.

"What did you say?"

"Remember, last week, I said, that I know the math prof and I think she could use an upper level TA. I could put in a good word for you."

"Work at Washington? With you?"

He didn't make it sound good. 

"I mean, you wouldn't be working with me, the math and physics departments are totally separate at UW. But yeah, where I work."

He was silent for a minute, and I wasn't sure how to interpret that. We were getting close to where we were going and I needed to pay attention to the roads, so I didn't want to keep glancing over at him.

"I mean, it would make it very convenient to meet up for lunch," I said.

"It's just...ah... I have a job. I'm going to be assistant TA-ing at Community in the fall."

I didn't say anything for a minute.

"I mean, obviously UW would be more prestigious," Eli said.

"And the pay would be higher," I said. 

"I would probably have other opportunities there, like with new research, which I certainly wouldn't have where I am."

I took one hand off the wheel and caressed his thigh. "And you could tell me the summary of new Dead of the Deader-Dead over lunch."

I found the right marina and pulled in an empty slot.

"We're going to the beach?"

"Nope. Come on." I opened the car door for Eli.  I checked my watch. "Come on." I grabbed his hand and dragged him with me until I found the boat. I dug the tickets that I'd printed out online out of my pocket.

I looked up and Eli was starting at the boat.

I put my mouth near his ear. "Wanna go on a romantic sunset dolphin watching cruise with me?"

"Yeah."

"Let's go."

I ushered him up the ramp, and a spiffy-uniformed first mate took our tickets. "That's everybody," he called up and over his shoulder to someone we couldn't see as he locked a gate behind us.

"I've never been on one of these before," Eli said.

"Me neither. Let's walk around."

A pre-recorded overhead announcement started, which reminded me of the announcements on airplanes telling you how to fasten your seatbelt. I was half listening, but I could tell Eli was paying close attention as he looked around at the lifejackets, and other emergency features. 

The boat had an upper deck, with a lot of lounge chairs jammed in close together and that seemed to be where everyone was. Eli and I found a pair of seats together in a corner, near a bulkhead.

"So do you want me to talk to her?" I asked, continuing the conversation from before.

"Who?"

"Jane, the math professor."

"I guess. I mean, that's a pretty long commute."

"Move up here," I said. "There are plenty places with cheap rent. You're already sharing with two guys there; you can't possibly have that much stuff. You could do the same thing here."

"I guess," he said. "The thing is, I would just want to make sure they found someone there so they weren't left high and dry."

I didn't tell him that I wanted him closer, or that it would be nice to see him more often. "You have to do what you think is right."

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to talk to her, forward a resume."

YES! 

I kept my cool and nodded.

"I'm sure there's five times as many zombie fans in the math department up here," Eli said.

"Never want to underestimate that," I said.

The boat's motors were loud as we pushed away from shore. An announcement came overhead that a five-year-old passenger was going to pull today's horn cord, followed by the repeated low blast of the foghorn.

"Wanna pull the horn cord, Blushes?" I asked Eli, leaning over toward him.

"That's not what I want to pull on," he whispered back, and I laughed.

A female steward came around handing out bags of croutons. I let her give our bag to Eli.

"What's this for?" he asked.

"In a little bit, we'll come up near Cragg Island," she said. "You can feed all the birds there."

Soon after that the island came into view. A group of kids near us ran to the balcony and began throwing their bread in the air. A flock of seagulls swooped down and plucked all the pieces up.

As we got closer to the island we could see different birds, and they came by in groups to greet us and get fed.

"Those are tufted puffins," Eli said excitedly at as he fed three birds that looked like a cartoon combination of a penguin and a fruit cereal spokesman. All the rest of the birds sort of looked like flying ducks to me but Eli said. "There's the loons, spearwaters, coromants, and a heron and an egret over there." He pointed and I nodded.

After we passed the island, it was calm seas for a while. "Come on," I said. "There's a viewing window, I think, on the lowest level." I pulled Eli along, and we gathered around a bunch of people who were looking through the section where the boat had a glass bottom. Eli watched the schools of fish, and coral, and seaweeds with fascination, and I watched Eli. 

After a bit, I was ready for a change, and I steered Eli up to a place on the main deck. We found a little walkway, and there was no one around at all. I stood behind him as he looked at the water. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and rested my head on his shoulder.

The wind was brisk.  

"Look!" Eli said. There was a school of dolphins jumping in the distance. "Uh-huh," I said. Jumping for joy just like I do when I see you. But I didn't say anything. I'm not one to say what I feel.

The boat slowly made a wide turn and began heading back. A few minutes later a school of dolphins swam right up to the side of the boat, practically at our feet, and sped along with us for a few miles.

"They're beautiful," Eli said.

"Uh-huh," was all I said. Not nearly as beautiful as you.

The dolphins got bored, and after a few minutes there was nothing to see.

"You hungry?"

"Hell yeah," he said. "My boyfriend skimped on my breakfast."

I laughed. We went inside. I bought us each a fish sandwich, and a basket of coconut fried shrimp for us to share, and two hot chocolates.

We sat on the same side of the bench at the tables, and I definitely crowded into his space as we ate, pressing my thigh against his thigh, occasionally leaning my face close to his.

A couple came in and I moved away from Eli an inch in order not to embarrass him. The couple smiled at us, and I smiled back. When we were done eating we went back to the spot we were at previously, portside. I reached over and zipped his sweatshirt up before I stood behind Eli and tucked his body into mine, wrapping my arms around him.  

We watched the sunset as the boat began to pull in to shore. Then everyone was coming down from the top deck, and up from below deck, and I pulled away from our oh-so-wonderful hugging while watching the water position, and just gently put my palm on his lower back.

"This was magical," he said.

"Yeah," I said. Because of you.

We were mostly quiet on the drive home. When the roads permitted, I drove with one hand on his thigh.

The roads were hypnotic, and as I relaxed I began thinking about all the positions I wanted to do with Eli as soon as we got home, and I got a little bit hard.

When we got home I lit every candle I owned, put on soft music, and held him in my arms as we swayed back and forth. That lasted a few minutes before I started kissing him, softly at first and then more passionately, and his tongue danced perfectly with mine.

I undressed him slowly, and stripped for him, hopefully making the most of the candlelight. I kissed him all over before I slipped into him, and his groan of pleasure made everything so right.

I kept the pace slow, wanting him to know this was more making love than fucking, concentrating 100% on his pleasure. Waiting until he shouted my name in his orgasm before I followed him over the abyss.

He yawned after I cleaned him up.

"What do you have to eat around here?" he said.

I shook my head at him. Unbelievable. I smiled. Just more opportunity to provide for him. "Pizza delivery?"

He smiled back at me. "Perfect."

I wiggled my eyebrows. "Then you don't even have to get dressed. In case we decide we want a round two."

*

The summer flew by.

We had fantastic celebration sex the day he accepted the job with Jane.  I helped him find an apartment that was only about a mile from my place. When I told him it was only a few minutes away he said 'perfect' before he even saw it, which I have to admit, warmed my heart as well as my ego.




First Blush Ch. 04



He frequently told me he loved the job, which was great. We had lunch together almost every day, which was even greater. 

We just finished watching the movie Dead Again, when Eli looked at me and said, "Would you like to come with me to Sukot?"

"Soo-what?"

"Sukot. It's the Jewish holiday celebrating the fall harvest. We have a ceremony outside, and dinner, and stuff. It's next Friday night."

"Sure," I said.

"My whole family will be there," he said casually.

Um, meet his whole family. Yowsa. I wasn't sure he meant it as casually as he said it.

"Okay," I said.

He smiled at me again, the gorgeous smile of his that's brighter than the sun. I'd do anything that will get him to smile like that. But I didn't say anything. 

*

"What should I wear to this thing?" I asked. I had a pair of suit pants and a button down shirt in my hand.

Eli shook his head. "It's super casual. Jeans and a nice T-shirt, and bring a jacket or a sweater."

I know Eli's parents were at the wedding where I met him, but I didn't see them there. I had an urge to impress them, but I decided to wear what I usually do when I'm not teaching, a V-neck black T-shirt and black jeans. My whole wardrobe is black and white anyway. I like to keep it simple.

"You look great," Eli said.

"Not as good as you." 

We arrived around 5 o'clock. The Sukot celebration was in a huge grassy field. To the right was the biggest tree I had ever seen, and near it were two square, I guess you'd call them huts, very large, that were three-sided, so that they were open in the front. There were about 30 people there. 

Eli walked me over to a couple standing in front of the first hut, and introduced me to his parents, John and Annie. John looked like a bigger, stouter version of Eli. Same shade of hair, same nose, same strong jaw, but no freckles. I guessed this was pretty much what Eli would look like in thirty years.

Annie was petite and drop dead gorgeous. She had her hair in some kind of upsweep do, with tendrils hanging down framing her face. Because I can't tell colors, I couldn't tell if her hair was dark blonde, or I suspected strawberry blonde, or maybe even silvery grey. 

"My other boys are over there playing Frisbee," Annie said, pointing. I saw to men who looked almost like carbon copies of Eli, and a teenager, who looked like a younger version of Eli, playing Ultimate Frisbee with about eight other people. "Why don't you boys join the game? We're not going to start for about another 30 minutes."

We started to walk over there and I saw my friend Dawn, Eli's cousin. It felt good to see a familiar face.

Dawn and Eli introduced me to Eli's brothers: Gideon, who they called Giddy, who was one year younger than Eli, Joshua, who was one year younger than Gideon, and Joe, who was 16. I could tell right away that there was something not quite right about Joe, but I couldn't tell what it was.

"Let's play!" Joe shouted.

I nodded. Eli assigned me to Dawn's team and we were ready to go. I'm actually really good at Frisbee, and I was glad this was the first thing we were doing. 

My team was ahead when Annie called us all to her.  We all gathered in the first hut, which had a long table piled high with food. John opened a book and began singing prayers in Hebrew. At various points everyone joined in for a few sentences. Of course, I had no idea what they were saying, but it sounded nice.

Then Annie opened a book and read in English. "We thank the farmers, the fruit pickers, the truckers, the grocers. The dirt, the rain, the clouds, the seeds, the seasons, the cooks. We thank the bees that pollinate, and the animals that propagate." Then she looked straight at me. "We thank the stars, and the laws of physics that govern them."

"We thank the heavens above, the earth below, and everything in between for this fall bounty."

"Ah-ah-men," everyone sang.

Annie clapped her hands.

"All right everybody. Let's eat."

Annie crooked her finger at me. I came over and she dished up a plate for me, piled high with everything. "John made all this," she said gesturing to everything on the table. "Except the challah bread, I made that. And the corn, Dawn made that."

"Oh," I said. "Thank you." 

Eli got himself two plates at once for himself and found us seats.

"What is all this stuff?" I whispered. He told me the names of everything and what was in it. It was all delicious. There was a dish with sweet potatoes and apples and raisins that I liked the best.

Gideon lived in Vancouver and was studying math. Joshua just came back from taking a year off to explore Israel. He was living with his parents and painting houses part-time. Joe was in high school, and loved Dungeons and Dragons, and just got a new computer. Joe's favorite food was meatballs.

"Eli's favorite food is everything," I said. That got a laugh.

After dinner we all sat and watched the sun set in silence. Then we all went to the other hut. We all laid down on the grass. The hut had almost no ceiling. It was just a few sparse branches with a few leaves and vines artfully draped across. I put my hands behind my head.

"Now we lay here and watch the stars come out, and just... you know, be grateful and appreciative of fall, and nature, and the stars," Eli said. He scooted closer to me and put his on my bent arm.

"You have a holiday where you watch and cherish the stars," I whispered.

"Pretty much," Eli said. "It's my favorite holiday." He was quiet for a few seconds. "And Tu'bish Vat. I like that one, too."

"Too Bish what?" I whispered.

"Tu'bish Vat," Eli said. "That's the holiday where we're thankful for the trees."

"I like your religion," I said. 

"It has its moments."

"It sounds a lot like my religion."

Eli shrugged. "I think they're pretty much all the same, when you get down to the central core."

We were mostly silent, watching the stars come out. I pointed out facts I thought he might not know, like which stars are greater magnitude that star 6, and how much brighter all the visible stars are than our sun.

His brother Joe came over and laid his head on Eli's stomach.

After a while I could hear Joe snoring.

We all lay like that, looking at the night sky, and as much as I love space, and physics, it was clear that there were things just as precious right here in Earth, not even an inch away.

At about midnight, at some unheard signal, everyone began to get up. I thanked Annie and Joe for a wonderful evening.

Eli and I got back in the car and the grace and wonder of the day stayed with us.

"Baby, thanks for inviting me. That was a truly beautiful day."

"Does that mean we can celebrate nature by having Sukot sex when we get home?"

I gave him a wicked smile. "You bet."

* 

I had a semester where I liked my classes more than usual. Maybe it was being in the start of a still somewhat new relationship, but it seemed like the months floated by in an euphoria where the universe conspired for goodness, and the stars were brighter. Pretty soon it was the last week of classes, and then finals week. Which meant starting Monday, winter break. Which meant more time with Eli. I was thinking of asking him to go away with me somewhere. Somewhere warm. I was dreaming about everywhere from Los Angeles to Caribbean islands when he called.

"Hey baby I—"

Eli was crying.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

He started sobbing harder.

"Eli, come on, tell me what's the matter?" I tried to be calm, but he sounded bad, very bad.

He tried to say something, but I couldn't understand him.

"Eli. Are you at home?"

"Ye-ye-yes."

"Okay, hold on, baby. I'll be right there. Don't go anywhere, I'll be right there." 

I drove to put Vin Diesel to shame, whipping around the corners, and making the drive in half the time. I ran up to his apartment and banged on the door. 

"Eli!"

He opened the door. His face was all blotchy. Tears were pouring.

I hugged him.

"What's wrong?"

That started a fresh bought of sobbing.

"ELI TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG!"

I carried him to the couch. "Put your head between your knees," I said. "Breathe with me. Nice and slow. That's it. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Okay, baby, that's it."

I lifted his head so he was looking at me. I raised an eyebrow at him.

He took a deep breath. "Joe was in a car accident."

"Oh my God, is he okay?"

Eli nodded. Then he sort of shook his head, then he nodded again.

"He broke a rib, I guess when the air bag deployed? And he has a concusion. It's just when my dad called, and said he was in the hospital..." Eli hiccupped and had to stop talking. 

"You were scared," I said.

He nodded.

"And then when you found out he was going to be okay, you were relieved."

Eli nodded again.

"I'm glad you called me, baby."

"It's sort of my fault."

I lowered my brows. The phrase 'What you talking about Willis' popped into my head. "How?"

"Well, I'm the one who convinced my parents it would be okay to let him learn how to drive. My mom thought it was a bad idea, that he wasn't old enough, you know, because of the Asperger's syndrome."

I nodded.

"But I said..."

He started to hiccup again.

"I said..." he had to take some deep breaths. "It's not like it's going to change, so you should let him drive now, and I kind of pushed my parents into it. Oh, God."

Eli let out a wail as a fresh sob wracked his body. I pulled him into my arms. "Listen to me. This is not your fault. Not. Your. Fault. A car accident can happen to anybody. The important thing is that he's okay."

"And now I'm breaking down in front of you, and crying like a wuss."

"Oh, baby." I stroked the back of his head. He stopped crying but then the hiccups started to come fast and furious and wouldn't stop. 

"Do you want me to get a wet washcloth for your face?" I asked.

"Hic—yeah."

"Okay." I got him a wet washcloth, and an aspirin, and a glass of water.

"Do you want me to drive you to the hospital?"

He nodded. "I'm in no, hic, shape to drive."

"Eli, I'm glad you called me. It's okay that you're crying. I don't mind driving you. Come on. Look around and see if you need anything before you lock up and let's go."

Eli's parents were in Joe's room when we got to the hospital. Joe looked pretty pathetic, with his head and ribs bandaged, and his face bruised.

"Eli!" he said in a loud, high voice. "They let me have ice cream and Jello here, as much as I want. The ice cream was great, but the Jello was yucky. Did you bring me a present? I got hurt. It was my fault."

Eli went over to hold his hand.

"Hi, Greg," Joe said.

"Hey, Sport," I said.

"I didn't bring you a present," Eli said.

"They're going to hold him here until tomorrow," Eli's mom said.

"What would you like?" Eli asked.

"Pokeman cards!" Joe yelled.

I furrowed my eyebrows. That seemed weird to me for a sixteen-year-old. "Hey, Joe, why don't I run out and get you some while you visit with Eli? They can be a present from your brother, I'll just go get them."

"Great!" Joe yelled.

Thank you, Eli mouthed at me.

No problem. I was glad to do something. I asked everyone else if they needed anything, but no one did, so I went off to find a Wal-mart or a Toys R Us. After Eli crying, and Joe in the hospital I wanted a stiff drink, but if I got into a car accident that would be two accidents, so that seemed like a really bad idea.  Instead I found a Target, got the cards for Joe, and some magazines I thought John and Annie would like and a bag of Reese's Peanut Butter cups for Eli.  Life was short, you never knew what would happen, but I could count on my man to be hungry.

*

It was only two days after that that Eli called me crying again. My first thought was that Joe took a turn for the worse.

"No, that's not it," Eli said. "Can I come over?"

"Of course baby. Are you okay to drive?"

He sniffed. "Yeah," he said.

Oh shit. I wondered what could be wrong. I tidied my place a little bit while I was waiting, putting the dishes into the dishwasher, and hanging up the clean laundry, and wiping off the bathroom sink.

Then he was at my door. My beautiful man, with his eyes all swollen and his face all blotchy. I took him in my arms.

"Tell me, baby," I said. "Whatever it is, we'll get through it."

I led him straight into the bedroom and sat him down on the bed. He handed me a letter. I scanned it quickly.

"What?" I said out loud to myself.

"Yup."

He was being laid off, effective immediately.

"Holy shit," I said.

"Yeah, I know."

I read the letter again. Funding cut, tax shift, priority, blah, blah. Fuck.

Shit.

"I just..." Tears rolled down his cheeks. "I really loved that job."

"We'll find you another job," I said. "Maybe I can—"

He held up his hand to cut me off.

I hugged him, pressing his face into my neck, and rocking him back and forth. Having this happen so soon after Joe's accident really sucked. It was like a one-two punch. 

"I'm so sorry, baby," I said.

"These things happen," he said. "I'm okay, it was just a surprise. They didn't even have the decency to tell me, I found out through the mail."

"Move in with me," I said.

"What?" he pulled away from the hug and looked at me like I was crazy. "It will give you time to not worry about expenses while you look for another job. This way if you don't find anything until summer semester, or fall semester, you won't have to worry about anything."

He pulled back from me another few inches.

"You spend half your time here anyway."

He shook his head.

"Listen Eli, it's logical. We don't need two households when we could have just one. I have plenty of room. You already have a drawer here, I'll just give you a dresser."

He frowned.

"I can get a job at a Kinkos or something. If money gets really tight I can move back in with my parents."

Now I frowned. "You'd rather live with your parents than live with me?"

He just looked down. Then I got it. I'm an idiot.

I took his hand. I traced my finger over his palm, and then I turned his hand over and kissed his knuckles.

"Don't move in with me because you lost your job. Move in with me because more than anything else in the world, I want you to."

He didn't look up, but I could see that he was smiling.

"At first all I wanted to do was introduce you to sex," I said.

"Great sex," Eli said. He finally looked at me.

"And then I wanted to introduce you to romance."

He smiled.

"Then I wanted to introduce you to..." I didn't know what word to say next. I stroked his cheek.

"Caring?"

"Yeah."

"Now let me, us, take all those things, to living together. Let me introduce you to day-by-day together life. With farting, and rushing around, and making love early on Tuesday when you hadn't planned on it."

He was silent.

"I really want this Eli. I want you. Just you. I should have asked you earlier."

He looked down again. I tilted his chin up. 

"I love you," I said.

His eyes opened wide.

"I should have said it before."

"I knew," Eli said. "You showed me. I just didn't think you were going to say it."

I kissed his cheek. "Well, I should have."

"I love you, too."

"I know, Blushes."

"I didn't want to say it first, and freak you out."

I laughed. "Good call."

"Move in with me."

Still he hesitated.

"God damn it. Don't move in with me because you're out of a job. Move in with me because we're supposed to be together."

He smiled that brilliant smile, the one that makes all the planets align.

"Okay."

"And marry me," I said.

"Fuck no," he said.

My eyes bugged out of my head.

"Just kidding," he said.

"Serves me right," I said.

I took my class ring off my finger and got down on one knee. "Eli, please marry me. I'll buy you diamonds and rubies if you say yes, and even if you don't. I love you, and I want to be with you, and I want to have children with you. I can't see colors, but my life is completely colorful with you, and would be colorless without you." I kissed the top of his foot. "Marry me, baby," I whispered.

"Yes," he said.

"Hooray!" I jumped up, grabbed him, and swung him around.

"Can we have celebration sex now?" he asked.

"Hell yeah," I said. I slipped the ring on his finger he smiled. "And every day from now on, too."

#  #  #

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