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Between the Bars Pt. 01

By: carsonshepherd



Chapter 1

"Do you know that guy?" 

"Huh?"

My friend Andrew lifted his chin in the direction of the corner. "Don't look yet, but there's a guy over there who keeps looking this way. He keeps looking at you like he's trying to place you."

"Really? Is he hot?" 

"He's not bad," Andrew nodded judiciously with his eyes over my shoulder. "Could use a shave, but I know you like the scruffy type."

I snickered and continued eating my greasy, delicious burger, the sort of thing Neil would have pouted over my eating if he'd been here. But he wasn't, and despite what he thought, my arteries could handle it. "Well tell me when I can look, would you?"

"Look now. He's reading. But be casual."

I rolled my eyes; did my friend think I was a total idiot? A social retard that didn't get out much? Well... okay, that part was true. I didn't get out much, actually, but I still remembered my social skills. Turning sideways in the booth, I leaned back against the wall and took a drink of my beer. This allowed me a view of the corner, and the guy who was sitting at the corner table across the room over my shoulder. An empty plate was pushed back and he was sipping a bottle of Beck's while he read the newspaper with his cheek propped up on his hand, elbow planted on the table. 

Not bad? The man was beautiful. An evening ray of sun shone through the window and flooded him like a spotlight and I had to draw my breath just looking at him. The sun painted gold in his shaggy brown hair that fell over his forehead almost to his eyes and flecks of gold illuminated his stubble. I stared at the way his hand cupped his jaw, fingers lightly drumming his cheek as he frowned down at the paper spread in front of him. Dark brows, strong but boyish jaw, probably in his early thirties same as me. Clothes rumpled, like a traveler; a battered leather satchel on the floor next to the chair. He wore jeans, a long-sleeved pullover and lace-up boots. My eyes wandered all the way down to his feet and then back up and I found myself looking into a pair of eyes so blue they startled me even from across the room. He'd caught me staring and he was grinning at me, and I dropped my eyes instantly with my face blazing. 

"Dammit," I said under my breath.

Andrew, who'd watched the whole thing, was laughing. "You are so red," he told me. "You're cute when you blush, you know that?"

"Shut up," I snarled at him. I ducked my head to hide my red face. God, I hated blushing in public. It made me feel so self-conscious. If crawling under the table wouldn't have made things even worse, I would've done it.

"He thinks so too," Andrew said relentlessly. "He's still smiling. You should go say hi."

"Yeah, right." I rolled my eyes. Andrew knew better, but he never gave up. He was persistent; I had to give him that. My friends were always trying to get me past my shyness; but most of them had finally accepted it was a lost cause and left me alone, except for Andrew. Ever the optimist.

"I'm gonna go pay our bill." He swung his legs around and went to the bar with our check. I kept my head down, but I could see him cross the room and to my horror, he headed straight to the part of the bar that was right next to the guy. The guy. I knew Andrew, he'd talk to anyone and he was smiling at the guy as the barmaid took the bill from him. I sent him frantic mental messages: Don't do it, don't do it, but it was too late. He was already doing it, turning around and talking to the guy at the table. I groaned, sinking down into my chair.

Nonetheless, I had to watch from under my eyelashes. I watched the guy laugh and reply, and then they both looked at me grinning and I took my cell phone out of my pocket and flipped it open as if I was answering it even though nobody was there. "Hello?" I said to no one. What an idiot I am. "Uh-huh, yeah," I mouthed into the phone while staring down at the floor under the table until finally Andrew came back over with a big smile on his face. I said cheerfully," Okay. Sure, talk to you later," and flipped the phone closed.

"You asshole," I commented as he sat down to finish off his beer. I had turned around to face him so the guy was behind me again and I didn't have to avoid looking at him. 

"You're welcome," Andrew smiled. "He's in town on business, just till tomorrow. I told him he should come down to the WETbar tonight and meet us. You're coming, right?"

I groaned and started making my usual excuses. I need to write, but this time Andrew wasn't hearing it. 

"You're coming. Don't make me come to your house and drag you out the door. Besides, how many words have you already written this week? How many hours research?"

I made a face.

"You need a break, Rylan. You've hardly been out of that house since Neil moved out. I know you're a writing machine, but you can't work all the time."

"It's not really work." I shrugged; a little embarrassed to admit how much I loved spinning my silly little tales. I loved the research. I loved the urgency of a story that wanted to get out. I loved the letters I got from fans, except the scary ones. Most of them were wonderful people, my fans, but some of them worried me a la Stephen King's Misery, and so I wrote under a pseudonym and guarded my identity jealously. Otherwise, I couldn't be happier with that part of my life.

"I know you love it," Andrew shook his head indulgently. "What is this time? Regency England?" 

"Yeah, always a favorite." The readers loved my Regency work and so did I; it was probably my favorite historical period. However, I didn't talk about my in-progress stories and my friends didn't ask, although they did read the free copies when the proofs came in. 

"Well, Regency England can live without you for one night. I'll pick you up at ten so be ready."


Chapter 2

At ten, I was sitting at my monitor in jogging pants, and Andrew was pounding on my door with his boyfriend Louis and our friend Josie in tow. They stormed in and complained loudly about my not being ready while I threw on some decent clothes. I didn't want to go. I was right in the middle of Chapter 16 and it demanded to be written, but Andrew was right, I hadn't been getting out enough. Sometimes, I'd be startled to realize I hadn't left the house in days. Not that it bothered me. I was perfectly happy writing, cooking, drinking tea and not getting dressed. If it weren't for my friends, I'd stay that way; and sometimes, I didn't even answer their calls.

Ugh. The Friday night bar scene. I wasn't looking forward to this. It was starting to rain, too. Atlanta in December, dreary and cold. Moreover, I wanted to stay home and write. So, my frame of mind wasn't the most cheerful, but I got in Andrew's SUV anyway. They did their best to drag me into their conversation but I stared out the window without seeing what passed outside, instead I saw the cobblestones and carriages of Victorian London.

Spring Street was swarming with drunken people spilling from bars, laughing and stumbling as they made the rounds of the clubs. I cringed inwardly. Just the sort of thing I liked to avoid, but the sooner we got it over with, the sooner I could get home and return to my nice fantasy world, slipping into it like a comfortable bed. The real world could be such an annoyance.

A quick scan of the crowded club when we walked through the door showed that the guy from the café wasn't here, at least not that I could see. I was relieved, but also maybe a little disappointed. Those eyes, so intensely blue... the eyes that every male romantic lead character had, but I'd never actually seen in real life. Male leads had to be scruffy and dashing rogues with a heart of gold. He looked the part but there was a certain spark there, and I had to admit that moment he smiled kept happening repeatedly in my mind, like the birth of the sun.

So, Friday night. The place was packed and I sat at the end of the bar drinking my way through a battalion of pints. Josie talked to me while we watched Andrew and Louis dance. Now, there was a relationship I never thought would last, the 12-year age difference could've been the Grand Canyon. But somehow they made it work, and Louis was the cutest little twink, someone I thought was just a bubblehead at first but I now knew was more serious and grounded than most people a lot older. When they kissed on the dance floor, everything else disappeared for them and they were surrounded by a little dome of light, a glow, their own world where nobody could touch them.

"Wah," Josie pouted as we stared at them and greedily gathered the scraps of their beauty. "Why can't I find that? It's not fair."

I shrugged and downed a long smooth gulp of my beer. I was starting to feel pleasantly toasty. Drinking made me so much more witty and interesting. "You might one day."

"But why can't it be like your books, Ry? I wanna get kidnapped by pirates and be ravished by a pirate captain that I hate at first, and then fall in love with and we live happily ever after."

"That's fantasy," I snickered. "You know it's not real. Drew and Louis are just lucky sons-of-bitches. Nobody gets to have what they have. I don't even want it myself."

"Such a cynic," she shook her head. "You're just saying that because Neil fucked you over."

My cynicism was famous and alcohol only made it more pronounced. "Neil had nothing to do with it. He knew about me going into to it. I warned him I'm not romantic, I don't do the touchy feely crap."

"I know, but you must have it in you somewhere... your books are so romantic, you can't be as hard and cynical as you pretend."

"I am. Like I said, that's fantasy." I was really getting a head of steam now and other people around us were even starting to listen. If I'd been sober, I would've been mortified but drunk I didn't mind yammering to a crowd. "In those stories, everybody finds their soul mate and lives happily ever after. People buy the stories because they love the fantasy. But in real life, it just doesn't happen. There is no happily ever after because the plot lines aren't wrapped up neatly in the last chapter. The subplots don't get resolved. Nothing ever fits into a chapter outline. That's what makes reality such a fucking drag."

Someone laughed and that only encouraged me.

"Now Neil... he wanted a soul mate. He wanted someone to understand him and be there for him. He wanted an emotional crutch and he wanted it to be me, even though I told him that isn't my thing. I told him I need space, and he couldn't handle it. I don't want a soul mate. I don't need that level of emotional involvement. I need to concentrate on my work. I need to be able to withdraw when I'm writing and not have someone pouting or throwing a tantrum because I'm not paying attention to them. And I warn these men, but they can't accept it." I shook my head in amazement. "I don't think I ask for much in a relationship... I just want a nice quiet, peaceful domestic arrangement with no drama, and someone who leaves me alone when it suits me. I'll even cook and you know I'm a great cook."

"And I'll bet you have men lined up around the block," said a husky stranger's voice in my ear. I felt a hand on my arm at the same moment I turned around quickly and saw those brilliant blue eyes and the sunburst smile from the café. I flushed, but instead of going into full blushing-and-stammering mode, I just grinned. Ah beer, the great social equalizer.

"Oh yeah. Who could turn down all this?" I held my hands to present myself and earned the full intensity of his smile. It actually made my heart give a little jump and the almost-forgotten thrill of brand-new lust zipped over my nerve endings as he wrapped his arm around me and drew me off the barstool.

"Nobody I know," he growled in my ear. "Come dance with me."

"I don't dance," I protested but I was going with him, letting him pull me, waving to Josie as she watched in amusement from the bar.

"That's okay, I don't either."

It all worked out because the dance floor was crowded enough that even if either one of us could dance, there wouldn't have been much room. Instead, he locked his arms around me and we swayed to the techno beat; he felt so good. I slid my hands around his waist and up his lower back, feeling the curve of his muscles under the shirt and his body against me, and soon we were grinding together. He was a couple of inches taller and his thigh fit firmly between my legs, pressed against my crotch, so that every time I moved I rubbed my cock against it. I was hard now, hard and tingling. My blood raced through my veins and reminded me of what I'd been missing. I didn't even know this guy's name but I didn't care. I moaned in my throat as his hands caught my hips and pulled me against him making my whole body recoil from a massive jolt of sexual energy. This guy, whoever the fuck he was, radiated it, smelled of it.

"So," he breathed in my ear. Words casual but deep, husky rumble conveyed layers of hidden meaning. "What's your name?"

The fact that he'd picked up my thoughts could've alarmed me but it didn't. I was past caring, my fingers fumbling with the back of his shirt, tugging it from the waistband of his jeans. I told him my name and he laughed softly as my hands found his warm, smooth skin beneath the shirt. Goddamn it, he felt good. Muscles tight, rippling, flesh that could make me lose my way.

"Nice to meet you, Rylan." 

It was not lost on me even in my sex-clouded state that he didn't mispronounce my name Ryan like people invariably did, and I always ended up annoyed and correcting them. I tilted my chin back and lightly nipped the outside edge of his ear while I answered softly, "Nice to meet you too..."

"Daniel," he supplied, catching his breath. That encouraged me and I nibbled down to the lobe, letting my breath tickle him so that he shivered in a very sexy way. His hands were suddenly on my ass, firmly grabbing my butt cheeks, and moving with my hips so I was slowly and steadily humping his leg on the dance floor with everyone watching. This kind of exhibition was unheard of for me but I was so fucking turned on right now, I didn't care who stared.

"So, Daniel." I barely managed to form the words without groaning. "If you go get us a cab, I'll tell my friends I'm outta here."

He drew back and met my eyes, but nodded. As he broke away, his tongue flicked out and softly brushed the corner of my lips that were parted for my breath, and left me stunned. 

With his body gone, I felt bereft and I stood still a moment, reeling with desire, before I could summon the will to move. When my limbs would obey my brain, I made my way over to Andrew and Louis, who were standing at the edge of the room talking to a couple of friends. They grinned and tried to draw me into the conversation but I shook my head impatiently and tugged Andrew back.

"I'm leaving."

"Really?" He eyed me and noticed the breathy and slightly flushed state I was in, and he laughed. "Not alone, I assume?"

"No."

"Not the guy from the café?" he demanded, eyes lighting up like a kid at Christmas.

"Yeah. Him." I half-grinned and half-choked, ending up gasping for air as I felt a little stab of nervousness creep into my gut. "What the fuck am I doing Andrew?"

"Taking him back to your place and fucking the hell out of him, idiot." He gave me a little shove and I took the hint heading toward the coat check near the door, where Daniel was just hanging up the phone and collecting his bag and leather jacket from the coat check girl. He looked up at me and grinned and I felt my cock give a little twitch in my jeans, which were uncomfortably tight just now.

"Cab's on its way," he said as I claimed my own jacket. Catching the sleeve, he pulled it on me and I found myself facing him and his mouth coming down on mine... I gasped and he took the opportunity to slide the tip of his tongue past my lips and give me a sweet, too-brief taste of him. Lips so soft and stubble a bit rough, scraping my tender skin, making it burn. He pulled away and left me hungry and wanting more, smiled at me and gave me a little push through the door to where our cab waited at the curb outside in the rain. 

"Is it a long way?" 

Daniel nuzzled my ear in the back seat of the cab while the rain pelted the windows in a captivating rhythm. I could see the eyes of the middle-aged black man who drove looking at us in the rearview mirror now and then, so I refrained from sticking my tongue down his throat the way I wanted to.

"Torturously long," I whispered against his cheek. "But that's okay... you can wait, can't you?"

"Oh yes." 

We settled into the backseat with our hands in our own jacket pockets and a little space between us, but I couldn't stay away and I inched closer. I just wanted the outsides of our thighs to touch, just a little. Just enough to feel the electricity his touch sent through me. I squirmed impatiently and he noticed, smirking at me under his lashes. Even in the dark, in the rain-splashed flashes of lights from signs, streetlights and the headlights of passing traffic, his eyes were so brilliant.

He leaned his head closer to mine against the back seat. "I can wait," he whispered, a breath in my ear. "But can you?" and his eyes dropped to my lap where the outline of my hard cock pressed against the top of my thigh. 

"You know," he kept on, soft and relentless, "the first thing I noticed about you when I saw you was your smile, laughing at something your friend said. I kept looking up at you to see if you were smiling again. I was drawn to your lips... the way you licked them after you took a drink of your beer..."

This made me blush and I laughed, staring down while his breath brushed my cheek.

"And you turned around and stared at me, up and down before I looked up. Oh yeah," he laughed softly, "I knew the whole time. You were so sexy when you blushed. I wanted to drag you to the john and bend you over the sink but didn't think I'd see you again... which would have been a shame. It would've been a shame because I kept looking at your lips and thinking what they could do to me... kissing down my chest and my belly and wrapping around my cock..."

A gasping squeak came from me. I couldn't help it. His words were getting to me no matter how I tried to fight it. I was the man of steel, dammit, and he was melting me into a puddle without a single touch. Just a low, husky, slightly southern whisper in my ear under the eyes of the cabbie that was plainly worried about what might happen in his back seat.

"I think your lips would be pretty around my cock," Daniel whispered and my belly clenched, abs flexing in an effort not to rub myself against my jeans. My hands balled up into fists in my jacket pocket as he kept on and I shivered from his husky voice in my ear. 

"I want to see you lick my balls because I love that. Then I want to watch you lick my cock up and down while you unbutton your pants and play with yourself."

I gasped without meaning to. Dammit. My cock ached and he grinned at my stricken look, my hungry breath. He was enjoying this. My fidgeting was uncontrollable and I raked my fingers through my hair. Watching me, he nodded.

"Yeah, do that," he laughed softly, "'cause that's what I'll be doing while you're sucking the head of my dick... I'll be tugging on your hair and making you moan. You'll like that, won't you? Having your hair pulled?"

His own breath was getting jerky as he kept up his barrage of images.

"I love watching someone who really loves sucking cock. You get this look on your face, you know that? I love looking down and seeing that look, seeing your eyes looking up at me while my cock is down your throat. But know what else I like?"

There was a pause and I closed my eyes and gulped a breath. I shuddered. But this time, he didn't keep on. He stopped and waited. I opened my eyes and saw he was waiting for me to ask him what he liked. I swallowed and licked my dry lips. It wasn't easy for me to say things like this. I didn't want to look stupid or say something that would humiliate me later, but I had to this time. I had to if I wanted him to not stop.


Between the Bars Pt. 01



"What?" I finally breathed in the barest whisper.

A slow grin spread over his face and he glanced at the cabbie, then leaned close to my ear so his arm pressed against mine and our thighs touched slightly. I could smell him, something faintly soapy, and his hair brushed my cheek and made me shiver. He was seducing me and it had been so long since someone did that I felt unworthy and out of practice, even if it was thrilling.

"I love watching, but I like doing it, too. I'd like to push you to your back and lick you, taste you because I know you'll be so sweet... so hard and ready for me..."

Oh my god. I groaned and I was almost sure I'd said it aloud but then the cab came to a stop and when I looked up, I realized we were sitting in front of my house and the cabbie was staring at us, waiting for his money.

Fuck. 

I fumbled for my wallet and shoved him what I hoped was enough cash as I threw open the door and tumbled out into a puddle with Daniel behind me and we splashed up the front stairs, his hands tugging at my clothes while I fitted the keys to the lock.


Chapter 3

The door slammed closed and his leather bag dropped, dripping, to the floor. My back hit the wall of the dark foyer and his mouth crashed into mine, demanding lips and rough stubble and a soft, utterly delicious tongue invading my mouth, tasting me while I wound my hands in his soft damp hair - mist of rain like a spider web - and pulled him down, licking and sucking fiercely at his bottom lip. Yeah, bruise him; make him sore and tender, lips swollen from sucking me. 

His lips left mine. I groaned with disappointment, but then his hands pulled and tugged, peeling off my leather jacket, expertly unbuckling my belt. My head fell back against the wall and I couldn't move, I could only stand there and gasp while my knees got weak from the feeling of his fingers tugging at my fly, unzipping my pants. I caught the flash of his grin through my haze as he sank to his knees on the hardwood floor at my feet.

I wanted to grab his hair, but my palms braced me back against the wall and if I let go, I might slide to the floor. His hands slid inside my jeans and over my hips to cup my ass in both hands while a hot tongue traced the damp patch on my boxers, teasing the head of my cock through the thin knit. His tongue swirled around and around until my knees were weak and I moaned. Then, he chuckled as he grabbed my jeans and underwear in handfuls and jerked them down. My cock sprang out and it would have slapped my belly but then his warm, soft mouth caught it and his tongue circled the head and licked the juice from the slit until I almost screamed.

"Mmm," I whimpered pleadingly. 

Swallow me... I couldn't move and I moaned in pleasure and frustration while he slowly, tenderly slid his lips down my shaft and his wet tongue caressed the pulsing veins on the underside. Oh my god oh my god. He played with my balls with one hand while he sucked lightly, not enough to make me cum and Jesus I wanted to cum so fast and so hard, to drown him as my juice spurted down his throat in a river. I opened my eyes and peered down just in time to see him unbuttoning his own jeans with one hand and pulling his own hard dick out. The sight made me groan and he grinned around my cock, smug. He looked fucking incredible stroking himself and I felt hot waves start to ripple through me from my balls out to my fingers and toes.

I bit my lip. Daniel squeezed the base of my cock as he sucked, and with his other hand, he mirrored the same pressure and rhythm on himself. I was limp against the wall now; he let out a little moan and the vibration of his mouth around my cock made my knees go weak. The hot little tingling waves exploded into a little fire and I whimpered from the pleasure, and from the visual, watching him jack himself. His eyes turned up to mine and all the sudden I was done, the orgasm snapped and I went off like a roman candle into his mouth, so fast and so hard... and as he swallowed, his body tensed sharply and a little muffled moan caught in his throat. His eyes rolled back; and I stared open mouthed as his cum splattered the polished wood of my floor in big, creamy blobs. 

For a moment, neither one of us could move. Still on his knees, he tipped his forehead against my thighs until he caught his breath, only his grip on my hips holding me upright. My hand shook as I wrapped it in his hair. So soft, thick, like damp silk in my fingers. I pulled his head back and he looked up at me and grinned, then he was on his feet and pressing me to the wall, kissing me and filling my mouth with his tongue that tasted deeply of my own cum, warm and salty and just a hint of bitterness and I clung to his lips and tasted it greedily. 

"Sorry about the floor." 

"Fuck the floor," I purred. I never thought I would purr, but there was no other word for it. Damn him.

"I usually prefer something softer, like the couch, or your bed. I don't want your back to hurt when I'm fucking you." Hot breath teased my hairline and I shivered even as I shook my head. No.

"I usually don't..." A bit troubled, I started to explain, but he cut me off with a finger to my lips. 

"That's fine, it's okay. Whatever you like, however you like. We've got all night; that was only something to take the edge off."

A hot jolt shook the pit of my belly and I pulled away to flip the light switch. Didn't want him to see the shudder that went through me, how his words affected me, he didn't need to know that already. Sexy growl be damned, he was still in my territory. I pushed him back a step.

"So... would you like to come in for a drink?" 

He laughed at my formal invitation and the double entendre at the same time... still in the hallway and already he'd had a drink. But I had yet to have mine, and the thought made my mouth water. 

"Thought you'd never ask."

Relaxed and lazy, I opened the leaded-glass doors to the living room and turned on a lamp, while Daniel dropped his bag on the floor and draped himself over the leather sofa. The low lamplight cast a honey-colored glow over his skin, his face was soft and satisfied, lips so luscious I had to bend over the arm of the couch and taste them before heading to the kitchen to get drinks. I also brought out rolls, ham and cheese and made two sandwiches because I am always hungry after a good hard orgasm.

My legs were so wobbly. I laughed at myself, all jellied. A puddle of goo. It'd been way too long since I had a decent fuck... or any fuck at all, for that matter. It wasn't like me to bring home a stranger from a club, but this time was different. Daniel seemed sweet and sincere, not likely to be a psycho, and it didn't matter anyway; I wasn't planning to marry him. I planned on taking Drew's advice and fucking him all night and again in the morning, and then sending him on his way so I could get in a full day's writing after breakfast. 

But in the meantime, I had this gorgeous man waiting for me, and I wasn't going to waste a minute more than it took to get my strength back. Grabbing the plate with two sandwiches and the beers, I practically ran back into the living room. 

"Food? Just what I needed." Daniel's eyes lit up and he gave me a smile that was positively heart stopping as he grabbed the ham sandwich. 

I noticed his eyes as I watched him eat. He looked tired, a little haggard even, with circles under his eyes that marred his smooth skin. At least three days of stubble there. Some people did wear stubble for the look but the general scruffiness of his whole appearance told me he'd been traveling a lot, but he was obviously not a transient; his clothes were too expensive. No, he was just trying to get somewhere. And despite the fact that he was just a one-night stand, I couldn't help but be interested. Details and life stories were how I made my living after all.

"Are you in town on business?" I asked in the midst of our comfortable silence, as we sat on the floor next to the coffee table, my leg thrown over his. 

Daniel gave me a quick glance. He hadn't mentioned being from out of town; but it was obvious to anyone paying attention. It seemed he wasn't used to people paying attention. Most people don't. "Just passing through," he finally answered casually. "Unexpected family business came up and I need to run home to see to a few things in the morning."

"Oh, I hope it's nothing bad," I said sympathetically. This gave him the opportunity to tell me more without my asking directly; he saw the opening, but he didn't take it. He just shrugged.

"Nah, it's fine." Then he turned that disarming smile on me again, looking me straight in the eyes. That was a fine point of dealing with people. Always looking them in the eyes. "This is a nice place you have. What do you do, Rylan?"

Repeating the name, that was another point. He was good. 

"That," I gestured across the room at the bookcase filled with hardcover proofs of all my novels, about thirty in all in the eight years I'd been selling work.

"Really?" He got up with his sandwich and went over to the bookcase, randomly pulling out a book. "Pink Moon," he read off the title. "By Cassandra Quinn."

I shrugged. "These publishers have a formula, and part of the formula is a woman writer. Cassandra Quinn is just one of my pen names; I have three that I use for different lines of books. That's a Starfire Romance, standard capture fiction where the heroine gets kidnapped and falls in love with her captor."

With a grin, he flipped the book over, with its colorful cover portraying a woman with tits half-bursting from her tight bodice and a shirtless man embracing her passionately, and read off the back jacket. 

Chestnut-haired beauty Blythe Halstead was as spirited and untamed as her favorite steed. Rather than waste her time on needlecraft, fashion and the stifling morass of social obligation, she sought the freedom of the open country and the misty, forested lanes surrounding her family's estate. The worst fate she could imagine was to be bartered as a bride to the portly, stuffy, lecherous Lord Oliver. 

Needing money to escape that loathsome marriage bed, Blythe disguised herself and took to the roads as a masked highwayman. One fateful night, as she was relieving a wealthy couple of their valuables, she heard approaching hoof beats and turned to see a black horse and cloaked rider bearing down on her. 

Geoffrey Hawke prided himself on being the most infamous rogue, robber and rakehell in the county. He was determined to find this new upstart poaching on his victims and dispose of the competition. 

But when he unmasked his foe, he found himself gazing into a pair of emerald-green eyes that stole his heart...

Laughter cut Daniel short and he looked up at me with his eyebrow raised comically. I grinned rather wearily. Yeah, so people laughed. So what? 

"People buy them," I pointed out.

"I see that." He looked around and took in my expensive house with the custom leather furniture and inlaid woodwork and hand-woven Oriental rug. Starving artists were a dime a dozen. Writer friends of mine struggled with freelance, while I cranked out four or five guaranteed sellers a year without leaving the house, and the checks rolled in. I never claimed it was Tolstoy. When I first started I hid what I was doing from all but my closest friends, I was embarrassed about writing "trash" and considered myself above it; but now, if people thought I was a hack, I didn't give a fuck.

"Hey... if you're making money and making people happy, it's great," he said with a shrug. "People love these books. My mom is addicted to them. You're obviously good at it, so it would be a shame to waste that talent."

I smiled at him and nodded as I finished off my beer. Exactly my point. He'd sat back down on the floor next to me and our eyes locked just inches apart. His scent brushed across my senses and my cock gave a little twitch to tell me it was reviving. I sat perfectly still as he lifted a finger and lightly trailed it down my throat, tugging at my shirt collar. One by one, he pulled the buttons of my shirt open and then traced his fingertips down the front of my shirt, over my sternum and down my belly until he reached the open fly of my jeans.

"So... wanna show me the rest of the house?"

I melted under his touch. Just a fingertip and I was a puddle for this man. "What parts do you want to see?" I mumbled as he brushed his finger down the length of my cock through my jeans. He grinned and the tip of his pink tongue flicked over his full bottom lip that I just had to lean over and nibble between my teeth.

"Oh, you know," he said lazily, "the good parts. All the naked ones."

Damn clothes always in my way.

Still on the floor in front of the couch, I greedily tugged Daniel's long-sleeved shirt over his head while he pushed his tongue into my mouth. I sucked on it the way I'd been wanting to since he teased me with that not-enough kiss in the club. Fuck, he tasted good... luscious and sweet, slight malty flavor of beer and some essence that took my breath away and I pushed my tongue in deeper to seek it out. That taste, and then a scent, it was just a hint of some delicious smell that was driving me out of my mind and I had to find out what it was, I had to get to its source so I could have it, just a tease wasn't enough.

"No."

I tried to pull away but he growled under his breath and caught the back of my head. I was going to lick him all over until I found that smell. But he possessed my mouth and he wasn't about to stop kissing me; his tongue danced over the roof of my mouth while his lips nibbled me in tiny little bites. Oh goddamn it, he just made me swoon, literally made my knees weak like a teenager, my hands slid over the smooth, muscular curves of his back and it was like stroking a lean panther stretched out next to me.

"Upstairs," I panted against his lips and he nodded and recaptured my mouth. I hauled him up, never breaking the kiss, and backed him toward the stairs with my fingers hooked into the waistband of his jeans. Get upstairs and get naked. It wasn't easy to guide someone up a flight of stairs backward, kiss and strip at the same time but somehow we managed it, stumbling and laughing the whole way. I never stopped sucking his tongue, leaving a trail of clothes behind us like breadcrumbs.

"That how I find my way out of here?" he asked. 

I snickered, steering him toward my bedroom door at the top of the stairs. "In the morning maybe. I'm damn sure not letting you out of here before then."

"Mmm, I promise I won't try to escape," he purred.

That made me shivers all over. Naked, fucking gorgeous and mine, at least for tonight. I pushed him back to the bed and he sprawled out across the rumpled sheets while I flipped on a light, and then I turned and stared in amazement at what was lying in my bed waiting for me. 

A little groan escaped my throat, almost a whimper. Fuck, he was beautiful. The pale light of the lamp illuminated him like a halo. Golden skin that went on forever, long muscular thighs, sinuous hips and his long, gorgeous cock lying on his belly, thick and ready, the flushed head gleaming with pre-cum. Sharply defined abs and lean corded muscles of his chest and arms all laid out for my eyes. The man worked out, that was obvious because he was fucking perfect; so perfect my knees shook and butterflies took flight in my stomach.

His eyes took me in and I wavered with a second's insecurity. I was pale, I didn't work out and I spent most of my time in a desk chair. Not flabby but nothing like him. Still, he didn't seem to care; he smiled in welcome as I got to my knees on the bed between his slightly spread legs. His eyes were so blue against the pale tan of my sheets. I sank down into his mouth with my hands braced above his head, up on my knees above his body. I closed my eyes and groaned as his tongue probed my mouth intimately, tasting every part of me until I was weak and he hadn't even touched me yet, only just a light hand on the naked skin of my lower back.

"I'm glad we both came earlier," Daniel suddenly laughed against my lips. "Or I wouldn't be so patient."

"Me either," I agreed as I nibbled the little spot where his jaw curved into his neck. Oh so sweet and stubbly.

"How do you like to fuck, Rylan?" His raspy growl in my ear was sudden and it startled me. I couldn't answer, but at the same time, his words made my cock drip onto his belly. I could feel the sticky liquid bubble out, string down and make a little puddle right under his navel. I couldn't see it but the picture in my mind was perfect. How did this man know what words did to me? They made me shiver all over, made my knees shake, made my hips weak. I was a word junkie and nothing turned me on like words but it was usually in books, nobody I'd been with ever pushed that button in me. Nobody had ever tried.

His hands on my lower back guided my hips in a short thrust and the tip of my cock lightly swirled through the liquid on his belly, the mixture of both our juices, and painted his skin like the feathery stroke of an artist's brush. I groaned and nipped his neck but I didn't speak, and he understood my silence, how I couldn't answer.

"You like to bite, don't you?" Oh, that raspy fuck voice again, making me shiver. I nodded quickly and scraped my teeth down his collarbone. Skin so tender, slightly salty, luscious when I licked away the marks my teeth left behind.

"Mmm. Bite my nipples, I like that.... Oh yes." He sucked in a breath as I licked my way down the center of his collarbone and trailed tiny bites to his nipple. My cock was leaking like mad now and my heart knocking so hard against my chest, I could almost hear it. The combination of his words and his maddening scent was sending me into orbit and my arms were about to give out. 

"Yeah, now bite it... not too hard... Ah." Sharp little intake of breath, his body tensed as my teeth found the hard nub of his nipple and bit down gently while I lightly sucked it, swirling my tongue around and around while he encouraged me, his hands stroking down the curve of my back to skim my ass and I moaned. 

"Mmm yes, that feels good... Now don't forget the other one..."

My tongue flicked the other nipple while my front teeth bit into it. I bit harder this time, slowly pressing down into the flesh, licking and sucking; and Daniel's hands slipped from my back and knotted into the sheets while he squirmed and bucked under me so deliciously.

"Oh... oh fuck that hurts but don't ..."

I chuckled in my throat and released his nipple and I wasn't sure if his sigh was relief or disappointment. When I withdrew, he was panting through his mouth and the pale light showed a sheen of sweat on his upper lip.

"Bastard," he breathed, and I laughed, dipping down to lick the indentation between his abs. Jesus, his stomach was fucking gorgeous. When he tensed, every muscle was sharply defined in a perfect, lean, rippling six-pack that made me breathless as I explored it with my tongue and my lips and my teeth while I breathed in his scent. That elusive intoxicating smell I'd caught earlier was strong now; it was the smell of his cock and it was very hard, it twitched eagerly on his belly while I nuzzled lower and nosed the very edge of his pubic hair.

"Oh yeah baby," he groaned. I knew he wanted me to suck him, but there were areas I had still not tasted; and so, I just traced the line of his hip up to the light trail of hair under his belly button. Oh, now that was a sweet spot, right under his dick, right where the juice pooled, a mixture of his and mine. I licked it greedily, brushing his cock off to the side with my hand, holding it there while I tasted his pre-cum, marking his skin with my spit.

"How does it taste?" he growled.

"Delicious," I spoke for the first time and he laughed at the same time he groaned in pleasure from my sucking his delicate skin. 




Between the Bars Pt. 01



"You're so quiet and that's okay... but I'll get you talking, Rylan. I'll teach you to fuck me with your mind and not just your dick and you'll thank me always..."

I just figured he was babbling now, so I kind of chuckled, and then went on to the serious business of licking the sweet cream from the tip of his cock. Such a pretty flared head that pulsed when I wrapped my lips around it and sucked lightly. He gasped and thrust his hips upward, but I stopped him with my hand on his belly. I didn't plan to get him off this way, but it was so deliciously tempting I couldn't resist just a little taste before I flipped him over.

Warm and hard and so silky against my tongue, fitting so perfectly against the roof of my mouth, I almost sucked him off but I made myself pull back because I wanted to taste his ass. I couldn't believe this beautiful man was giving himself to me like this - he was so perfect, so out of my league - and I wanted to experience everything I could. I wanted to lick his hole and slide my fingers inside his tight ass, gently suck his balls before I finally slid my cock into his tender hole.

"Ohmygod," I breathed without meaning to, squeezing my eyes closed.

"What're you thinking, baby? Tell me about it... tell me what gets you off."

I took a deep breath and traced my tongue lazily over his ribcage. I didn't answer right away. My natural shyness made this harder for me than it should've been. I flipped him over to his belly and he stretched out with his arms over his head. All that golden skin and hard, flowing muscle made me speechless with awe at the same time it inspired me. The back of his neck... his biceps and defined shoulders, the smooth curve of his spine into his lower back. God, how I loved that little dip at the very base of the spine - and then his ass... firm cheeks a bit paler than the rest of his skin, begging to be licked and squeezed and slapped. My cock was growing more urgent and demanding. I was again glad I wasn't bursting to cum, because surely it would've happened too fast; he was just fucking gorgeous.

"What gets me off?" I finally said breathlessly. "Looking at you like this..."

"Mmmohyeah," Daniel purred, wiggling a bit, rubbing his cock against my sheets. The sight made me so hot; I literally broke into a sweat. "You're an ass man, aren't you Rylan."

"Very much so," I managed to answer while staring at all that golden, naked perfection. That little spot right at the very top of his crack, right where it started, was fascinating me. I couldn't take my eyes off it. I wanted to drive my tongue into it, see if it tasted as delicious as it looked. My dick throbbed and I absently rubbed it while I stared at him like a hungry dog stares at a steak. 

"Then tell me what you want to do to it... tell me and then do it."

Words came so easily for me in my head and flowed onto the page, but they somehow got tied up in my throat before they came out of my mouth. In certain situations - like at the bar - I could get going, but one-on-one was much harder for me. I didn't want to sound stupid, but at the same time, I was never going to see this guy again. He was here in my bed and he was taking me out of my humdrum life and making me feel things I hadn't felt in so long, I barely remembered them at all and so what the hell did it matter if I babbled like a fool?

"I want to nibble the back of your neck and all the way down your spine," I whispered shyly in his ear. I trailed my fingertip between his shoulder blades and he shuddered while I nipped his neck right where it curved into his shoulder. "And when I get to your ass...."

"What?" he gasped when I paused. This wasn't easy for me but I loved the way my words made him squirm against the sheets. I had to just stop and stare with my mouth open, drooling at all that gorgeous flesh writhing from what I was saying, me. 

"When I get to your ass, I'm gonna spread it and lick this spot right here..." 

"What spot?" he demanded, glancing over his shoulder at me; he was so beautiful, eyes glazed with sex and his lips flushed and wet.

"This one."


Chapter 4

On my hands and knees above him, my cock brushing his skin, I licked a trail down his back to that little place that I was fixated on, that little indentation between his ass cheeks. I swirled my tongue around it until he was gasping; and then I did exactly what I said and spread his cheeks with my palms and licked down the cleft to his tender pink hole, probing it with my tongue, licking it, sucking the skin around it lightly while he moaned into the pillow.

"Oh fuck... Daniel, you taste so good." I gasped dizzily, his ass cheeks were so round and firm in my hands when I squeezed them and my cock was aching now, leaking furiously onto the sheets between Daniel's legs. For a moment, I drifted in a haze not able to form a coherent thought; but then I buried my tongue in his ass again and it didn't matter anymore, the whole world was nothing but this warm, tight hole and the whimpers that came from his throat. 

"Yes," he breathed. "That's it. Push your tongue in hard, Ry. Show me how you want to fuck me."

Oh my fucking god. I let out a low, hungry growl against his ass and pressed my tongue past his tight ring so that it surrounded me with his warmth and I tongue fucked him relentlessly, until he drew his knees up under him and lifted his ass, pushing back against me. I was shaking all over and fighting not to cum but goddamn, he was so fucking wanton, he was melting my bones.

"Yesyesyes... just like that... you're fucking me just right, Ry." Daniel was on his elbows and knees now and he threw his head back, arching back against my tongue and moaning in short, harsh gasps. "Slow and easy at first, then so hard and so deep... until I taste your cock... can you fuck me like that, Ry?"

"Mmmhmm." I could only mumble because my mouth was occupied with his sweet ass. My finger slid inside him easily and he twisted under me and moaned sharply.

"More," he demanded greedily. "Put in another finger."

He was spread out for me with a light sheen of sweat glazing his skin, all the lines of his muscles tense and taut. My knees were shaking as I slid my middle finger into his tight hole alongside my first finger and I felt his hole flex and tighten around them as I stroked the smooth passage. God, I loved that moment of eager acceptance, it just drove me wild knowing he was open and waiting for me; I pulled my tongue away and he whimpered in disappointment, but still pushed back against my fingers fucking him slowly in and out.

I draped myself over his smooth golden back, pushing him down to the bed, and he rubbed himself against my weight and purred. 

"That's it," he growled as I nibbled his shoulder, catching the flesh hard between my front teeth. I wanted to eat him up, devour him, pound into him until we both came apart. "Fuck me with your fingers Ry, open me for your cock..."

That made me groan and jump to my knees, pulling my fingers out of his tight hole. I had to stare at it for a moment: so tiny, flushed such a dark pink, fluttering, open a bit from the invasion of my fingers. Greedy, wanting me. He writhed impatiently while I fumbled in the bedside drawer with hands that shook so that they could hardly tear the paper; and the sensation of my lubed hand wrapping around my sheathed cock was so intense I groaned aloud, shivering up on my knees.

"Yeah, get that cock ready to fuck me," Daniel growled, making me weak. Quickly he put a pillow under his hips, lifting his ass, spreading it wide for me. The combination of the sight before me and his words sent a knot of sparks down my gut and deep into my balls to trail off into my shaking thighs and I couldn't hold back any longer. 

Yes. I was going to fuck him until he couldn't see straight and I slid my lubed fingers back into his hole where they felt so warm and cozy, wiggling them to make him tingle all over, slowly pushing my third finger inside with the other two and he winced slightly, but he groaned. "Mmmyeah, yeah, stretch me, fuck me into this mattress..."

I couldn't wait anymore and I sank into his tight warmth. It was home for my cock, so sweet and tight and slick, feeling his sweaty back against my bare chest and his sharp, clean smell pouring over me like the most beautiful and intoxicating mist, losing myself in my thrusts and he undulated under me, strong and wild. It wasn't going to last, not for either one of us. I burned and ached and a the knot of need clenched tighter and harder in my balls until I pinned him to the bed and lay still, breath heaving in his ear. He felt slippery, squirmy and electric.

"I need to cum," I growled.

"Yeah? Me too," he grinned over his shoulder, turning his head to capture my lips with his hot open mouth. 

He was breathing as hard as I was, and pushing his hips back against my throbbing cock, taking me closer and closer to the edge even though I wasn't moving at all. I felt drenched, spit and lube, sweat and juices all over me, drowning in a wave of sex and I was helpless against the tide. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't help the little whimpering moan that came from my throat as I thrust into him and picked up his rhythm.

His round, tight, muscular ass under me was so tempting. I didn't want to cum so soon but it was unavoidable, it was overwhelming me like a flood and I pulled back, shifting to my knees. Wanted to mark that ass, make it mine...

Smack.

His whole body jolted in surprise but then he growled and pushed his ass upward into my slow thrusts, and I rubbed away the sting of my smack, the slight pink handprint that was so pretty on his pale golden brown skin. 

"Hell yes, Ry." There was a wild excited note in his voice that made me shake uncontrollably as I panted for air. His harsh demands made me so fucking hot, growling at me while I thrust into him. "Yeah, smack my ass while you fuck me, baby." 

Smack, this time on his other cheek and even though he was expecting it this time, he jolted again and rocked backward so his balls slapped mine and a bead of sweat trickled down the center of my chest and dripped onto his back. Orgasm licked at the base of my spine but I fought it off, pushed it back impatiently, as he ground against me so shameless and wild.

"Yes... like that, Ry, just like that... Just do it again and make me cum so hard. Smack me, Ry." Smack, smack while he groaned long and loud in his throat and threw his ass up against me. That changed the angle so that I hit a certain spot inside him and I heard him give a wild gasp, gripping the sheets in handfuls, and his hole flexed against me in tight spasms and I lost it.

"Yes... fuck, yes." I gritted my teeth, and then I came in a rippling jolt of pleasure turning me inside out and backwards and he trembled under me and groaned his own orgasm into my sheets. I collapsed on to him, his back heaving against my chest, and we lay there together as I absently petted away the last trace of redness from his ass.

Time passed and I think I drifted in and out of consciousness until we could both move again. When I pushed myself over my side, my arms were weak and shaky and it had been so long since I'd fucked until I was a puddle, I had to grin smugly. It was hard to move enough to shed the condom and drop it into the trash. Daniel had rolled over to his side facing me, his lashes shadows over his half-closed eyes, and he gave me a lazy, satisfied grin as he stretched his arms over his head. His ribs and the lean muscles under his arms flexed under his smooth skin and I stared in awe at all that delicious flesh. Damn...

"Made a mess out of your sheets," he yawned apologetically.

I shrugged. It was a miracle I could still move. "Need to get up," I grunted.

"Uh huh. Where's the bathroom?"

I lifted my arm just enough to gesture down the hallway. So heavy. He got up and I lay there and drifted until I felt a warm, wet cloth on my belly, wiping my cock clean of lube and spunk. That was nice. Sleep tugged at me, but the beer finally forced me to get up and stagger to the bathroom for a piss. 

Passing by my office door, I noticed my computer screen glowing gray and expectant, and I had to go in. My open file drew me. The little world I was creating tugged at me but I wasn't planning on writing; I was too tired. However, I quickly re-read the last few paragraphs on the screen, making sure I was still in the story, still in my flow. 

"This where you do your writing?" Daniel's sleepy voice asked me from the door. I looked over my shoulder as he came in naked and dropped down on the couch, curling up like a small boy in the corner with his eyes drooping.

"Yeah, most of it." The rest of the house had been professionally decorated, but this room - a disorganized hodgepodge of books, notes, mismatched furniture and stereo equipment - was all mine. My grandma had crocheted the soft afghan Daniel was pulling down from the back of the couch. It was actually the master bedroom, with an attached bathroom and deep bay windows looking out onto the small backyard. I slept in the second bedroom down the hall because I spent all of my time in here. A bedroom just had a bed in it.

"Ever fucked in here?" he grinned.

"Actually no. Most people don't even get to come in here." I pecked out a sentence, my mind half-on Daniel. "You make a nice addition to the place, though."

He smiled as sleep started to drift over him. He looked so cute; my heart gave a little skip. However, he was leaving in the morning. This was just a one-night thing. So heart-skips weren't allowed. Still, I planned to wake him up early and give him something to remember before he left.

Finally, he roused himself and sat up, blinking. "You staying up to write, or coming to bed?" 

I pulled my mind out of the story, hit save and started the backup. The story could wait but this gorgeous man in my bed could not. "I'm definitely coming to bed."


Chapter 5

Hot wet mouth wrapped around my shaft. I thrust hard and my orgasm is so fucking close, just out of reach, so intense... I moan and let it explode and ripple through me...

"Ry."

A vaguely familiar voice saying my name startled me from sleep with my heart pounding until I opened my eyes and saw Daniel next to me. I remembered who he was, and why his hand was slowly stroking my belly under the covers, so warm with his smooth naked body curled against me and the slow sound of the rain against the gray windowpanes. My cock was already hard from the dream, and I purred sleepily as his hand wrapped around it and stroked slowly.

"Morning."

"Morning," he nibbled on my ear. He flicked his tongue down my neck and I stretched and groaned. Fuck, he was nice to wake up to, all that endless rippling muscle between my sheets, warm hard cock nestled against my thigh, nipping my neck with his lips as his thumb spread my juice around the head of my cock. I stroked the curve of his ass and reached up to wind my other hand through his soft hair. He made a little sound of approval because, as I already knew, he liked having his hair pulled.

"Fuck me," he mumbled in my ear. He still sounded sleepy and heavy, and so sexy it made my balls tingle. "Then let's go back to sleep. It's raining."

"Mmm." I smiled and nodded, my eyes closed back against the pillow. He rolled over and reached into the drawer; I lay there drowsily while he rolled the latex down and lubed me. Nice... no thinking, just a warm cocoon of sex and sleep, cozy pattering rain, his delicious sweat-tinged smell and his ass fitting into the curve of my body like a spoon when he pulled me to my side and I curled around him and nuzzled his hairline. He raised his leg, spreading his ass.

"Don't thrust. I'm a little sore from that hard fucking you gave me last night. Just let me take you."

I smiled at the thought of making him sore... his tender little pucker swollen and red from being battered by my cock... and I caught his thigh and held it up while he slowly pushed back against my shaft until it slid past his tight ring and then he sucked in a breath and stopped. I held perfectly still until he moved again. He slid me inside him and then I was totally buried in his slick tight warmth and I could feel every little pulse, every little flutter of his muscles gripping me, stretching around my invasion and I was motionless while sparkly pinpoints of pleasure zinged over my nerves, all the way down till it made my toes curl. 

Daniel was humming softly in his throat the whole time, but he hadn't moved yet. My cock throbbed with delight, content to stay right where it was, its very favorite place in the whole wide world. We lay still in our cocoon and it could've been a minute or it could've been hours. Finally, he moved back against me and I slid his leg into the crook of my arm and held his ankle. I was the one buried inside his ass but he was fucking me in a slow and lazy early-morning rhythm. He caught my mouth with his over his shoulder and his tongue tasted so warm and sweet even after sleep, toying and sucking at mine in slow, languid sweeps that made me weak.

I locked his leg behind my knee so I'd have a free hand. I needed to wrap my hand around that cock, hard and flushed and dripping on his belly, I wanted him to cum so hard, watch the cream splatter his flexing abs, wanted to watch his face while he came. He threw his head back when I lazily pinched his nipple and he looked so beautiful, flushed and needy, panting through his parted lips, eyes rolled back. Need hit me hard in the gut and I slid my hand over his ribs down to his hip. 

"Do you want to cum?" I growled.

"Yeah... fuck yeah..." 

His breathless groan, my cock driving into him hard, the slap of my balls against his ass, the slight squeak of the bed, the driving rain against the windows. I wrapped my hand around his cock and it was so warm and hard, thick, every vein pulsing in time to my thrusts and he reached up and grabbed my hair as I stroked his cock and fucked his ass, oh so tight and sweet, I couldn't stand it I was going to cum so hard I might black out.

"Oh my god... right there. Right there, yes yesyesyes."

All that slick flesh writhing against me and his cock twitched and tightened in my hand, drawing up. He pulled my hair, crying out with his lower lip caught in his teeth as he spurted all over his belly and down my hand. His hole tightened around me sharply and then I lost it too and shot, twisting in the hot bursts of sensation like a wave that rolled me over and over until I crashed on the beach and lay there panting and motionless and emptied out.

Collapsed in a sticky, panting heap of flesh, it was a long time before we moved. I started to drift off a few times, but finally Daniel pulled away and sat up on the side of the bed, letting out a groan as he rolled his shoulders and his neck.

"Damn. It's been a long time since I've been fucked like that," he grinned.

"Really?" My ego swelled to enormous proportions.

"Hell yeah." Tidying up, he dropped the lube back into the open drawer; and he pulled something out, grinning. I froze. "And what have we here?"

A deep, horrified blush spread over my face, as he held up my black silicone dildo, realistically sculpted and complete with balls. Shit. I wanted to crawl under the covers, but he was inspecting it with great interest rather than laughing at me as I immediately thought he would. He felt its weight, encircled it with his hand and pretended to jack it, nodding appreciatively.

"Nice," he said. He glanced over at my scarlet face and smiled, stretching out to brush a kiss over my cheek. "You're cute when you blush, but don't be embarrassed. Picturing you fucking yourself with this is hot."

My flush became paralyzing and I lay there in mute horror as he stroked the tip of the dildo down my thigh, dropping his voice to a low growl.




Between the Bars Pt. 01



"I know you get it all nice and slick... do you like to suck it? I wonder if you push it in hard, or slow and easy. Do you like to be fucked hard? Mmm, I like the idea of your legs in the air and this in your ass. What do you think about when you're fucking it, Rylan?"

He knew I wasn't going to answer; but despite my dismay, I felt a little tingle at the base of my cock. It was just too soon for either one of us to be up for another round and he knew it. He sat back up and dropped the dildo in the drawer with a sigh of regret.

"Too bad I'm not staying in town a little longer. I'd love to watch that."

"Maybe you'll come to Atlanta another time," I said shyly.

He shrugged and stretched out next to me, resting his heavy head on my shoulder. "Maybe," he mumbled. "Now... it's too early. Go back to sleep."

We both slept, still covered in juices. I woke before him and slid out of bed without disturbing his slow, even breath. I felt fantastic as I showered, even if my thighs were hitching a bit from the strain of all that fucking. It was an amazing feeling. I was grinning like a sap when I walked back into the bedroom naked and found him awake, blinking at me.

"Hey."

"Morning, again." He scrubbed his face with his hands. "I need to get moving. Mind if I take a shower?"

"Not at all. Towels are in the closet behind the door."

As he staggered off to the bathroom, I pulled on some jeans, grinning when I heard a groan over the running water. Least I could do was make him some breakfast after fucking him into oblivion. I went downstairs, still sleepy, still not caffeinated; and as I crossed the semi-dark living room to the kitchen, I tripped on something.

It was Daniel's leather bag. I bent to pick it up so I could move it out of the walkway; when I did, it tipped sideways and something heavy fell out and hit the floor. My first thought was it barely missed my toe. Then, I reached for it and saw what it was, and I stopped dead.

A handgun. 

Wrapping my hand around it, I turned it over so I could inspect it in the dim light. It was a SIG-Sauer P229 forty-caliber semi-automatic. This gun had an automatic safety, not a conventional one, so if it had a round in the chamber, it would be ready to fire with a double-action trigger pull. I tried not to panic. This stranger had brought a gun into my house. Immediately, I started thinking all kinds of terrible things - that he was going to rob or murder me - but my rational mind got a hold of itself and reminded me he'd had plenty of time to do it already, if that were what he intended. Also, it was a very popular weapon for police officers, so it wasn't out of the question that he was in some sort of law enforcement. No doubt he was carrying it for protection while he was traveling and it was perfectly legal to do so, as long as he were properly licensed; and he seemed perfectly harmless and law abiding. No big deal, I decided. I wouldn't even mention it; he was leaving soon anyway, and I'd never have to see him again. I just picked up the gun, put it back in the bag and set the bag on the couch, and then I went into the kitchen and started the coffeepot.

My morning routine involved watching the local news on the TV in the corner of the kitchen while fixing breakfast. It was more the drone of the morning anchors I listened to than any interest in what they were saying. I fried some bacon and made a quick cheese omelet, only paying attention to the news with half an ear while I replayed some of the more erotic moments from last night in my head.

"...And out of Florida, Tallahassee police are searching for Detective Daniel Braden. Detective Braden disappeared Wednesday after allegedly being involved in the shooting death of a fellow officer. Details are not being released, but he is wanted for questioning and anyone who might've seen Detective Braden is urged to call Crimestoppers at..."

My heart in my throat, I ran for the TV as they showed a picture of the police officer on the screen. Yes, it was him. The picture was older but there was no mistaking it. The man on the TV wanted for questioning in a homicide in Tallahassee was in my fucking shower. That was why he had a gun. Holy shit. He was a cop and he was a suspected murderer.

Wildly, I spun around to grab the phone, but when I turned, Daniel was in the doorway in his jeans and t-shirt, hair wet, staring at me. I froze in my tracks, heart pounding and knees shaking.

"I didn't do what they're saying," Daniel told me urgently. He took a step toward me and I edged backward. The phone was about halfway between us, lying on the counter, and if I could somehow stop him for a second I could grab it and dial 911...

He saw my eyes darting to the phone and took another step toward me, keeping his voice calm and beseeching, his hands lifted unconsciously to show his good intentions.

"Rylan, please. Listen to me. I didn't kill anyone. The crime scene was tampered with and the evidence is all fake."

"So you were framed. Isn't everyone?"

"I really was framed, Ry. Listen. Just calm down and I'll tell you the whole story. Will you at least listen?"

I was scared as hell, but unless he had the gun down the back on his jeans, I wasn't in any immediate danger the way I saw it. Crossing my arms, I lifted my eyebrow expectantly and stared at him, waiting, while a voice in the back of my mind screamed at me that I was a flaming idiot for even giving him a minute to explain himself before I called the cops.

"I'm a detective with Internal Affairs," Daniel began with a deep breath. "Know what that is?"

"Investigating the police from within," I shrugged. I sounded ice-cold when in reality I was shaking like a leaf.

"Right." He nodded; relieved I was with him so far. "I was undercover as a vice detective, working on drugs and prostitution and illegal weapons; but I was investigating a ring of dirty vice cops. These jack-offs are running an illegal gun-smuggling ring between Tallahassee and Chicago, with contacts in the Birmingham and St. Louis PD's. This week, I was finally able to nail down the proof I needed on my wire."

"But my cover got blown. I'm not sure how, but I have my suspicions and proving them will be my next step, once this is over. When they found out I was an IAD investigator, they could've killed me but that would've been too easy. Instead, the leader of the Tallahassee ring, Sgt. Adkins, shot another officer who was deeply into this, using my weapon, and tampered with evidence to make it look like I fired the gun. He wanted to discredit me and send me to prison, to send a message to IAD that he was untouchable."

"But why didn't you go to the police commissioner or something?"

"Because." He sighed heavily. "This thing goes very high, maybe even up to the top of the force. Internal Affairs couldn't even protect me. That's how high it goes. Now, every undercover cop has a contingency plan in place, just in case things go sour; it's an escape hatch nobody knows about so nothing can be used to trace you. I used mine. I went to my safe house instead of going home where I knew they were waiting. I shredded my credit cards and disabled my electronic equipment, anything that could be used to track me electronically. Adkins smashed the camera equipment I was wearing the night I cracked the case, but it was set up on a digital feed to the Tallahassee PD internal network so it's safe in there for now. I'm not stupid enough to keep the originals of my evidence anywhere near me; if I got killed it'd all be lost. I only had copies and I destroyed those before I left. The originals are with another IAD detective up in Chicago who's working this case from the other end. That's why I was headed up there. I need to get to him so we can bring these assholes down. I have a contact in Atlanta, so I took the soonest bus up here, and he got me a flight out of here today. I was just going to get something to eat and then crash at a hotel for the night when I ran into you."

He smiled and shook his head ruefully. "Leave it to me to let my dick get me in trouble. I never should've gone out to meet you, but I didn't think it would do any harm. I didn't think the story would be out this fast and I damn sure never thought my face would be plastered on the morning news." He glanced over my shoulder at the TV in disgust. "So now I'm a fugitive. I can't show my face at an airport, let alone ID."

"And how do I know you're telling the truth?" I demanded, with a bravado I wasn't entirely feeling.

"I dunno. You don't, I guess." He slumped, sighing. "Let me show you my badge and ID, at least." He reached back and I jumped, giving an involuntary gasp at the sudden move; and he dropped his hands and stepped toward me. "Please don't be scared, Ry... the last thing I want to do is hurt you. Here. Take my ID out of my back pocket yourself if you need to."

I nodded, mentally telling myself to get a grip; and he turned around and held his arms out while I drew his wallet out of his back pocket. There was no gun there and I was not looking at his ass and how delicious it was in his jeans. Not at a time like this.

Identification, gold detective's shield with a badge number. That was it.

"There's nothing here that says you work for Internal Affairs," I protested. I felt disjointed because I realized now I wanted to believe him. I didn't want him to be a murderer, or even a crooked cop trying to lie his way out of it. I wanted him to be one of the good guys because he looked and acted like one, and he fucked like a dream. But without proof, how could I be sure?

"No, because I'm undercover," he explained patiently. "Even though my cover's blown, we don't carry around anything to link us to IAD. In a case like this, it could be my death warrant. I can't ask you to go on faith, but... that's all I have right now." 

"Fine." I handed him his wallet back and stepped back a few paces until my back was against the center island. "Your story sounds plausible and there's no way for me to discredit it, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. If you just leave now, I won't call the police."

He sighed and he looked so dejected, gazing down at the floor before he looked up at me with his brilliant blue eyes again.

"I wish I could do that, Ry. I really do. But it's gone beyond that now. I can't walk away from here, because I can't go through airport security to catch my flight to Chicago. The airlines would've been notified by now and I'll be arrested. I have to clear myself, because I have to bring these guys down. It's my job and I'm in too deep to walk away from it now. You don't know how many people have died because of these dirty cops, all over the country." Another sigh, heavy and resigned. "I wish I could leave you out of this, but the fact is, I can't. I need your help because you're the only help I've got right now. You're going to have to drive me to meet my contact in Birmingham."

****

hor's note: Thanks to Black Shanglan, Lady Christabel and all others who have given me feedback and encouragement on this novel.



Between the Bars Pt. 02



The room smelled stuffy, like motel rooms invariably do, but I sighed with relief as I flopped down on the king-sized bed. I was forced to share that bed with Daniel tonight, but there was plenty of room for him to stay on his side and me to stay on mine. I eyed him cagily as he stripped down to the borrowed khakis and propped himself on pillows against the headboard with the chicken bucket, bottle of beer and the remote. 

Dammit. Confronted with his bare chest, his rippling abs, his sexy belly button and the line of silky hair beneath it disappearing into the waistband of the pants, there was no way I could keep the images of last night from bombarding me, and I rolled over on my belly to hide my cock nudging against my jeans. 

"Tired?" he asked me with his eyes riveted on the news. So far, there was nothing about the case in Florida on the local news. He switched to CNN, sipping his beer.

"Yeah," I said briefly. Just talk to him as little as possible. 

"Here, have a beer before they get hot. You going to eat?"

My belly growled at the smell of the chicken and I'd never wanted a beer so badly in all my life. I didn't want to accept anything he had to offer, but at the same time, I had to eat, didn't I? Fuck. 

Instead of answering, I just snarled, and Daniel laughed, reached in the bucket and drew out a chicken breast, holding it out to me. I took it with bad grace and ate it, still lying on my front facing the TV, pretending to watch the news when I was focused on ignoring him. I'm not thinking about him. Not aware of his body, not smelling him - faint scent of my soap and that essence that drove me so wild last night - not thinking about last night at all, or this morning, not thinking about how it felt when he pushed back on my cock and I slid inside his tight ass...

I stifled a groan. My cell phone, which Daniel had tossed on the bedside table, rang just then and I froze and looked back at him in alarm. This was something we hadn't talked about; my phone didn't ring during the trip because my friends knew not to call me during the day, when I was working.

Daniel glanced at the caller ID. "Who's Nick? Your boyfriend?"

"No, my editor. We're working on a second draft." My heart thumped as the reality of the situation washed over me all over again. This was no game. I was in danger here, if I wasn't careful.

"Answer it. But watch what you say."

Swallowing, I flipped the phone open. "Hello?" I tried to sound as normal as possible but to myself at least, I sounded hysterical. "Hi Nick. No, it's okay." I listened to his chatter and mumbled responses, my eyes on Daniel who was listening to every word. "Well actually, I can't email you right now because I'm not at my computer. I needed a break, so I'm taking a few days off and going home for a visit; I didn't take my laptop, and soon the cell phone coverage will be gone too. I'm not sure, maybe a week. Yeah, it was sudden but I'm fine. Just a little burned out, I think. Sure, just email them to me and I'll catch up when I get back. Okay Nick. Bye."

"Good," Daniel nodded as I ended the call. My heart was still racing but I was oddly pleased by his praise before I caught myself. His opinion of me didn't mean shit. "Is it unusual for you to leave town without telling anyone?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe a little."

"But nothing to where someone would call the police if they didn't hear from you."

I shook my head. Daniel didn't know I sometime went days without talking to anyone in person, only exchanging email with even close friends like Josie and Drew. 

"They'd just think I was in the zone and I'd call when it wound down."

"The zone?"

"Oh, you know. Writing in a smooth flow." I blushed because I hate talking about my work, especially with non-writers. They had no idea.

"I think you should call a friend and tell them what you just told your editor, so they won't wonder where you are and start asking questions. That will buy us enough time to get to Chicago before anyone realizes you're not visiting home. But don't try anything stupid, okay?"

I nodded resignedly. It was a good idea. And maybe, if I talked to Josie, something in my voice would tell her things were amiss and she'd look a little deeper; but I wasn't getting my hopes up. Josie wasn't known for her stunning mental prowess; but if I talked to Drew, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from saying too much. Fuck. I dialed her number and she sounded just as cheerful and bubbly as ever; there was obviously a man in her apartment so she didn't pay a lot of attention to what I was saying. Then she scared me half to death with an afterthought just as I was about to hang up.

"Hey, you know that guy you went home with last night? I thought I saw him on the news the news earlier!"

"Oh?" I forced myself to laugh. "Doing what?"

"I dunno... the police were looking for him or something. They said he was a cop. It was in Florida I think."

"Nah, I doubt it... Craig's a construction worker from somewhere in Alabama. He left this morning after I fucked him until he could hardly walk."

Staring at me, Daniel lifted his eyebrow in disbelief and I smirked, but this was no laughing matter. He listened until I hung up and I dropped back against the bed, damp with nervous sweat. I thought for sure I was sunk when she said she saw Daniel on the news.

"Craig?" he questioned, amused.

"It was all I could think of on the spur of the moment." I shrugged weakly.

"It was fine. You're fast on your feet. Thank you."

"I'm not doing any of this out of the kindness of my heart." I got angry. "I'm doing it because I don't have a choice. You made me come along and neither one of us can afford to forget that."

He looked at me, and then shrugged his shoulders. "You're absolutely right. I can't start thinking I can trust you, can I? In that case, give me back the phone."

I handed the phone over and glared at him. It was easier this way really... easier to see him as the enemy, so I wouldn't have to like him and I wouldn't have to question my own feelings and my motives for doing any of this. It didn't make him any less sexy, but at least it put up a wall between us. I watched him put the phone in the pocket of his pants, then stand up, and go over to his bag he'd dropped on the chair.

"I need a shower. And since I can't trust you, you're going to have to sit where I can watch you. Can't take the chance of you doing something stupid like calling the cops, can I?" He dug around in his bag.

"And how can you watch me while you're taking a shower?"

"Easy." He flashed a grin as he pulled something from the bag and held it up. Handcuffs. I gasped when I saw them dangling from his finger. "These make a great babysitter."

"You've got to be fucking kidding."

"You just said we're on opposite teams. That must mean you'll turn on me if you get a chance. So, I have to play it safe."

Smiling sweetly, he slipped one of the cuffs over my wrist and I was too stunned to do anything about it. I struggled, but that only made the metal cut into my wrist even more and I bit back a cry of anger and pain. I called him every name in the book, and some nobody'd ever thought of before, as he escorted me to the bathroom with his arm around my shoulders. The indignity of the situation was just unbearable. I caught the bathroom doorframe with my hands. I felt trapped and helpless and panic rose up and choked me, threading through my anger.

"Fucking let me go, Daniel, you son of a bitch."

"Oh, so feisty." 

He smirked. I gripped the door as hard as I could, I was absolutely determined he was not getting me into the bathroom, but all he had to do was give the handcuffs one jerk and I let go from the pain, and he was able to push me inside. He cuffed the other end to the handicap bar next to the toilet and stepped back, looking a bit regretful but more than just a bit amused.

"Listen, I didn't want to do this. I want to make this easy on both of us, Ry. But you've decided to make it hard." He shrugged, grinning at me. "I'm sorry I can't trust you, but those handcuffs really look good on you."

He stopped and looked at me like he was waiting for me to say something, but I sat down on the closed toilet seat and stubbornly looked away. He just shrugged and unbuttoned his pants, setting the key on the edge of the tub out of my reach. My arm was twisted rather uncomfortably in the handcuffs and it would soon be numb, but I'd be damned before I uttered a word of complaint.

I stared at the corner above the door as the pants dropped around his ankles and he stepped out of them naked and tossed them out the bathroom door where I couldn't get to them, since the cell phone was still in his pocket. There was absolutely no way I was giving him the satisfaction of looking at him. No way. Nope, I wasn't stealing a glance at his firm ass when he stepped into the tub. I definitely wasn't watching through the clear shower curtain when he turned the water on and tilted his head back so the steamy spray could splatter his face and stream down his lean, hard-muscled chest...

"Mmm." A low throaty groan echoed around the tiles and a shiver shot straight down my spine.

Fuck.

I cursed under my breath, but I couldn't stop looking at him. He moaned again as the water soothed his muscles. Oh sweet Jesus. His skin was tawny golden brown with a distinct tan line low on his hips and his round smooth ass cheeks were pale and so tempting and spankable. The hot spray pelting down just made him gleam like a god, hard muscles all sleek and slippery and delicious and I groaned silently, shifting on the toilet seat as my dick hardened. It ground against the hard crotch of my jeans and I squirmed while I gritted my teeth together hard.

The clear vinyl shower curtain was fogged, but his body was clearly visible through the veil of droplets that trailed down. Reaching up, Daniel braced his arms against the tiles and leaned forward onto his hands with his shaved head down so the water could pour over his neck and down his spine in rivulets that streamed down the crack of his ass. I licked my lips, mesmerized and it wasn't fair that he leaned back then, flexing all his muscles along his back in a long, slow stretch. The scent of the soap teased me and I sucked it in.

"Ahhh," Daniel groaned as he arched his back, the water pelting his face. He ran his hands over his face and over his head to his neck and he shivered. The sound of his low groans made my balls tingle and he knew it, damn him.

Shit... The urge to touch myself was almost too strong to resist but I bit the inside of my bottom lip and the pain brought me out of the trance, until I looked again and he was soaping himself slowly.

Hands smoothed wet flesh in lazy circles, stroking down his chest, over his ribs and down his hips to his ass, slowly rubbing the stiffness from his muscles. Both hands soaped his belly and I stared as he wrapped his sudsy hand around his cock and stroked it. It wasn't hard, but it wasn't soft either and my mouth dropped open as it thickened in his hand and he gently soaped his balls. Fuck... 

His fingers teased his balls I licked them and the light hair tickled my nose and slid under them and soaped his hole my tongue swirled around the tender rose colored pucker  and his cock was hard now, flushing with blood and the plump juicy head hit the roof of my mouth and I sucked it lightly tracing the satiny ridge with my tongue and his thumb traced the slit, dancing over it, teasing it, teasing me. I happened to glance up and he was looking though the water-streaked shower curtain straight into my eyes, his cheeks flushed with more than just hot water.

***


Chapter 8

Through the splattered shower curtain, our eyes held. I watched his wet lashes flutter, and then his eyes rolled back in pleasure as he slowly stroked his cock in his soapy hand. A little moan left his throat that I could just hear over the drone of the shower. 

"Like that?" he asked hoarsely. "I know you're hard. Bet you'd like to have your hands free, wouldn't you, Ry? So you could wrap them around my cock... like this..." 

His hand tightened around his cock and he jacked it more firmly, stroking the fat, dark head and I began to sweat in the damp heat while my dick throbbed and I couldn't tear my eyes away even though I was getting angry that he was toying with me like this. 

"I'll unlock you if you like... just keep a close eye on you," he growled. "Very close." 

I had to swallow hard before I could say anything. "Fuck you."

"Oh yeah... I like that idea. You fucked me so good this morning, and last night. Was your dick sore from fucking me?" he purred. He tilted his head back a bit as his hand stroked and gently squeezed his balls while he jacked his cock. I forced myself to close my eyes to block out the sight, but behind my eyelids, I still saw the image.

"You're such a whore," I said between my teeth.

"I know." That rough velvety growl of his hit me right in the gut. "We don't have to waste this trip being enemies you know...I'm sure we could find a way to make it interesting..."

I knew we could too, but there was no way I was playing this game, especially not on his terms. Not while handcuffed to the handicap bar. I stared above the shower and inspected the ceiling tiles in great detail. If he expected me to just drop to my knees, he was sorely mistaken... and I wasn't tempted by his luscious curving dick either. 

In the hot spray, Daniel was too far gone to notice what I was doing. He started out teasing me but he'd quickly reached the point where he couldn't stop. Even though I wasn't looking at him, I still saw him reaching back to grip the handicap bar to steady himself. I saw his knees give a little as he jacked himself a little faster, a little harder, moving his hand expertly up and down his shaft. He moaned, his breath harsh and gasping in the little chamber of tiles. My mouth was so dry, I couldn't even swallow but I didn't look... No, not even when he threw back his head and moaned as a jet of cum spurted from his cock and splattered on the clear shower curtain. I watched the thick, creamy spunk slide down the vinyl as Daniel leaned back against the tiles weakly and caught his breath, laughing softly.

I sat there looking up at the ceiling like I was terribly bored as he peeled back the shower curtain and stepped out with one tanned, dripping leg. The rest of him followed all naked and gleaming; I swallowed and tried not to imagine my tongue licking off every drop of water from his skin. Damp warmth radiated off him as he stepped very close to me and reached for the towel hanging on the rack behind my head, deliberately pushing his now mostly-soft cock close enough to my face that I couldn't turn away. When I glanced up at him, he was leering down at me, looking straight at the bulge in my jeans.

"Mmm, I feel so much better." 

Daniel groaned and stretched six inches from my face. The small bathroom put us in close quarters anyway and he wasn't making any effort to put distance between us. He patted himself dry with a towel and then reached for the key and unlocked the cuffs. I snarled and rubbed the feeling back into my semi-asleep arm as he wrapped the towel low around his hips. Little droplets of water gleamed in his treasure trail. 

"You want to take a shower too?" he asked sweetly, glancing back at my cock.

The urge to get myself off was strong but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that I was beating off to his little performance so I shook my head firmly.

"Not right now. I've got some writing to do."

"Oh." He looked vaguely surprised, and I hoped a little disappointed. "Okay."

With a shrug, he let me out of the bathroom, and he went over to the bed, pulled back the covers and lay down after dropping the towel. I made myself not look at his naked body. I took the notebook out of the Wal-Mart bag and opened the package of pens. Too bad he didn't think to get toothbrushes, but I actually did appreciate that he'd grabbed these things for me. I wasn't sure why he'd done it; surely, it would end up benefiting him in some way that I'd find out later, but for now I was just glad I had paper and pen. If I had that, I'd be okay.

Am I going to die? I didn't know the answers to that question and that made my chest tighten and my hands begin to tremble. I couldn't think about it. I took the notebook over to the small writing desk in the corner by the window, flipped on the light and started writing, and soon I was okay.

"I'm going to sleep, Ry."

Some time later, Daniel's voice cut into my thoughts. He'd been drinking beer and watching TV, mostly flipping obsessively through the news channels. I looked up and focused for a moment. It was past midnight and I yawned involuntarily. "Will the light keep you up?" I asked; and then I regretted it, because what did I care about his sleep?

"The light's going off. You're going to sleep."

I stared at him in disbelief. He was telling me when I could go to bed? "What?"

"I can't keep an eye on you while I'm sleeping, can I? You'll have to be right next to me so I know you're not up to anything." Stretched out with the sheets up to his waist and his hands behind his head, Daniel watched my anger and resentment play across my face. His eyes were so fucking blue and they read me so easily. I couldn't hide my feelings even if I wanted to; redheads never can. My easy blushes always betrayed my anger or embarrassment, things I would rather keep hidden. "Listen," he pointed out quietly, "You were the one who decided to fight me on all this and make me not trust you... you made your bed, Rylan. So come lie in it."

At least he didn't say "Come lay in it." 

Despite my anger, I almost laughed at myself. Bad grammar, the unforgivable sin to an English major. Worse than kidnapping.

He did have a point, though. There didn't seem to be much point in making it difficult. There were other battles worth fighting, like my going back to Atlanta tomorrow, but right now, I was tired. 

"All right," I finally said. "But only because I'm ready." I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't obeying his orders, but I did flip off the light and drop my sweater and jeans on the floor and I crawled between the sheets in my boxers and t-shirt.

I closed my eyes. The bed was big and Daniel was way over on the other side. Plenty of room between us, no need for me to think about him being naked between the sheets right next to me. I'd wake up at home and this would all turn out to be a crazy dream. No more ham sandwiches right before bed.

The sheets should have been cool, but they weren't. His warmth seeped into me even from the opposite side of the bed. I squeezed my eyes shut and curled up on my side facing the wall with the sheet and blankets pulled up to my chin like a protective shell, closing my ears to the little sounds he made, little huffs and grumbles and sighs as he tossed and turned. Sleep. I was going to sleep and not thinking about the way he moaned and writhed under me, naked, slippery and wanton.

Dammit.

Gritting my teeth, I curled into a tighter ball as my dick stiffened.  Traitor.

Next to me, Daniel suddenly moved all the way across the bed until his shin touched my calf and his strong arm slid over my ribs. The silky hair tickled me and I shuddered as I felt his breath against the back of my neck. He pulled closer until he was spooned against my back touching me all over, all that lean delicious flesh pressed against me and my heart knocked against my chest with the sudden onslaught while my cock throbbed in hot waves.

"There, that's better," he murmured.

"Fuck!" That was all I could get out after stammering a few times. I remembered I was supposed to be pissed off and I struggled, but his arm locked around me and held me tight and all that I accomplished was rubbing my ass against his naked crotch. He wasn't hard at first, but I was and I'd rather die than let him know it. I pushed ineffectually at his arm that pinned me like an iron band. "What the hell are you doing?" I hissed.




Between the Bars Pt. 02



"It's okay, I won't take advantage of you." He sounded rough and sleepy, but slightly amused and goddamn it, why did his voice have to be so sexy? "Even if that's what you want. I just can't relax unless I know you're not going to sneak off. If you try to get away, I'll wake up; I'm a very light sleeper when I have to be. It's either this or I handcuff you to the headboard. Your choice."

"Fuck you," I snarled, still pushing at his arm. It was like trying to move a brick wall but at the same time, his skin was so smooth and warm and he was all man, all muscle and he felt so fucking good against me I just wanted to melt into him and soak into his bones. His cock was partly hard now just from my struggling against him, but he didn't seem driven to do anything about it, and I couldn't do anything about mine no matter how it demanded me to. Not while we were this close, not without him knowing it. With a petulant sigh, I gave up and stopped struggling but I still didn't relax, I held my whole body stiff and rigid so he would be damn sure I wasn't cuddling him. That would be giving in and I couldn't do that no matter how much I wanted to, because that would mean he won.

"Sure, just wake me up when you're ready," he said in that thick sleepy voice, chuckling while his breathing got slow and even. My heart still knocked but I inched away from his body just a tiny bit. It just wasn't fair for him to feel this good and be this close to me. His arm tightened and pulled me back against him and there was nothing I could do but lie there with every muscle in my body tense.

Soon he was asleep. I could tell because I'd slept with him the night before and I knew the pattern of his breath. He was heavy and solid in his sleep, immovable. His thighs were so strong and the light hairs brushed the backs of my legs; his cock was a warm weight against the crack of my ass. I saw him stroking it under the cascading water with his head thrown back; then it was the feeling of penetrating him from behind and I shivered and forced myself not to rub against him. It was useless, though. My cock ached from all the teasing, all the sensations, all the mental images and I was desperate for relief but I had no idea how I was going to get it without Daniel knowing what I was doing.

I stared at the wall in the dark. Cold in here and Daniel was so fucking warm, like a glowing stove wrapping me in heat. I shifted and his magnificent abs pressed against my lower back. His feet were even warm, toes tucked between my ankles. I kicked them away and he tightened his arm around me to let me know he was aware of my movement. That only brought me into sharper contact with his naked body and I stifled a groan. This was not working. There was no way I was sleeping like this.

"Where you going?" he muttered as I pulled away.

"Bathroom. Is that allowed?" I sounded about as cuddly as a wolverine and he chuckled that low sleepy laugh that made my dick so hard. Fucker.

"If you really, really have to."

I had to all right. I was thankful for the darkness as I raced to the bathroom and turned the lock behind me. No light, didn't need it. I yanked off my shirt. My back hit the wall and I slid down while I wrapped my hand around my cock, impatiently pushing my boxers down. The tiles were cold on my bare ass but my hand was warm and I bit back a groan as I teased the head with my thumb. My hand was a practiced lover that knew exactly what I craved. 

Sweet pouty cherub lips wrapped around my dick, blue eyes looking up at me... 

Lotion. I'd seen it earlier on the vanity in one of those tiny bottles motels have along with the miniature shampoo and bar of soap. I fumbled for it but I couldn't find it in the dark so I had to flip the light on for a second. When my eyes adjusted, I caught a brief glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror behind the door, on my knees on the hard tile floor with my boxers down around my knees and my dick sticking out in front of me. My face was flushed and my lips red and wet, damp strands of hair stuck to my sweat-glazed neck. I looked completely slutty and out of my mind. Fucking Daniel. I grabbed the lotion bottle and flipped off the light, sinking back down to the floor. 

The lotion was cool and slick as I stroked my cock and it felt so good but I didn't have time to relax and draw this out; I needed to get off fast, before Daniel started to wonder what was taking me so long. I squeezed another blob on my fingers and circled the rim of my hole. It fluttered and my breath quickened. 

Push your tongue in and show me how you want to fuck me... Smack me again and make me cum so hard...

Shuddering from his raspy voice in my head, I threw my heel up on the side of the bathtub, sinking down so my cock hit my stomach and I stroked it while my finger slid effortlessly inside me and I bit my lip to keep from crying out. Didn't want to think about him but I couldn't stop the images and the sound of his words from flooding me and I didn't care anymore. 

Another finger filling my tight hole and the tingly sensation burst inside me. I came so fast and so hard, it left me weak and panting, splattered with cum. I lay there collapsed against the wall, spread out in a heap, for a moment to catch my breath before I got up and flipped the light on, turning on the hot water tap in the sink. My face in the mirror was flushed with residual excitement. And shame. My head knew there was nothing to be embarrassed about, it was a perfectly natural thing, but there was still some little voice in the back of my head that was implanted in me too early to ever root it out, no matter how hard I tried, and kept me from expressing certain things sexually that came out much more easily in my writing. The fact that I'd given in to Daniel pissed me off, but he never had to know.

"Took you long enough," Daniel grumbled when I lay down, dressed and cleaned up. He threw his arm over me again and my heart just went on in its slow, satisfied beat instead of racing wildly from his touch. I relaxed into his warmth, eyes getting heavy. "What the hell were you doing in there?"

"Fried chicken gives me the shits."

"Oh yeah?" He snickered in my ear, drifting off to sleep. "I'll just bet it does."

***


Chapter 9

Rain poured down in sheets as I went to the office for check out, with Daniel waiting in the Honda. Stepping out under the roof, I shivered in the cold. Crazy. Neither one of us had so much as a jacket, and he thought he was going to Chicago in December? Well, not me. I wasn't going to Chicago and as soon as I got back in the truck I planned to tell him that.

Wet and shivering, I climbed into the driver's seat. Rain pelted the roof and the windshield wipers slapped their rhythm, trying to keep the glass clear enough to see. I had my speech all planned, but Daniel was talking on my cell phone. That was odd. I didn't want to seem like an eavesdropper but there was no way I could help listening.

"I'm fine, Wyman. You sound more like my mom every day. Nag nag nag." He rolled his eyes and smiled slightly at whoever was on the other end of the phone. "Nothing on the news since I left Atlanta and I've been out of sight since Birmingham. I'll be in Chicago late tonight." His eyes went to me and I tried to pretend I was concentrating on backing out of the parking space. "Never mind about that. Got anything good to tell me? I could use a break, man. I'm flapping in the breeze out here."

There was a long silence, broken only by occasional grunts or "uh-huhs" from Daniel. The thumping of the rain prevented me from hearing what Wyman, whoever he was, was saying even though I tried. I heard his voice faintly, but I couldn't make out the words or tone.

"They've got audio. No shit. Are you sure?"

His voice was low and I felt his tension creeping into my own nerves.

"So the FBI is going to take care of everything. Clear my name and protect me until this breaks. All I have to do is make the call and meet this agent at the field office when we get to St. Louis."

My heart started to thump. The FBI?

"Scott, are you sure about this?" he questioned. "How did you hook up with the feds on this?" There was a long silence while the voice on the phone explained and Daniel listened intently. "Have you had her checked out? I know you know your job, man, but I'm trying to stay alive here. I'm nervous as fuck, I need to know that everything's cool before I..." Another pause. "And did you speak to her directly, or just through your captain? Okay. Yeah, I know." He grinned briefly. "That paranoia's bailed your ass out of a few jams too, right? Got that number?"

He dug the pen and notebook out of the back seat where I'd tossed it and scrawled a number on a blank sheet. "Okay, got it. I'll be in touch. If you need to get a hold of me before I get to St. Louis, call this number I'm using. No, it's not my cell, do you think I'm crazy? It belongs to someone I'm with." His eyes went to me again while he listened to the phone. "Civilian. He's just giving me a ride, it's no big deal. Well, I didn't have a choice after Birmingham, now did I? Once we get to St. Louis, it won't matter anyway. All right. Catch you later."

After saying his goodbyes, Daniel flipped my phone shut. He turned to me.

"Change of plans."

"Yeah?" I said like I hadn't heard anything that was just said. The dumb act came naturally to me. It wasn't hard to convince people I was innocent and oblivious, lost in my own little world. Hell, a lot of the time, I was.

"Yeah. That was Scott Wyman. Works in IAD up in Chicago. He's the one I was going to see, who's working this case from the other end. He had an FBI agent contact his captain about getting me on interdepartmental task force to take this case national. Once in a while, IAD works with the FBI on cases like this when they cross state lines. Anyway, the field agent in St. Louis has some audio she wants me to hear, so I can ID some people from Tallahassee to link them with the Missouri suspects. The FBI is going to protect me until these people are brought down."

"What about the murder charges?" I asked, although I had no idea why it should matter to me. I was getting caught up in this drama was all. I couldn't help it. It was like being in a movie, except the actors were all real. I was nothing but a bit part, but it was exciting now that the possibility of danger was fading.

"The FBI will make that all go away." Daniel nodded. His words were reassuring, but instead of being overjoyed the end was near, he was tense and distracted with a fretful line between his eyebrows. 

Despite his doubts, I was flooded with relief. Just a five-hour drive and this would all be over. I'd leave Daniel in the hands of the FBI and be on my way. I could get back to my life and never see him again. That was a good thing. I ignored the little hitch in my chest that might suggest otherwise. What did I need with excitement? I had a novel to finish and a second draft to edit. This thing I started writing in the notebook last night was just for fun, just something to distract me. Daniel and his problems were nothing but a big disruption and I couldn't wait to draw back into my routine like a turtle in a shell.

"Until then, though, we still need to be careful not to be recognized. I don't want to get you in any trouble. You wouldn't last a night in jail." He shot me a grin that sent a funny little tingle through me. Jesus, that hadn't happened to me since my undergrad years. Oh god. I groaned to myself. I was getting a schoolboy crush on a handsome, dangerous cop who oozed sex. The sooner I was away from him, the better. "If you pull into a drive-through I'll buy you breakfast."

"Good thing for you I'm a cheap date," I snorted and he laughed.

We had our sausage biscuits and coffee in the car. The temperature had dropped in the night and it was getting cold enough to make us both shiver until the car warmed up. If I hadn't been driving to St. Louis and then turning around and heading back, I would've insisted we stop somewhere and buy a jacket, especially when I was the one who had to get out and pump the gas, shivering in the chilly wind. Daniel handed me the money and when I came out of the gas station after paying, he was behind the wheel. 

"I'll drive. Got a map?"

"We don't need one, I know the way." 

Normally, I didn't let people drive my vehicle, but it was a long drive and I'd done it all so far, so I deserved a chance to sit back and ride. Neither one of us slept well last night. I was used to sleeping alone and I had never slept close to any of my lovers. I didn't like being crowded, let alone being pinned under someone's weight. Also, Daniel woke up several times in the night with violent starts, waking me instantly. When I asked him what was wrong, he said nothing, but his heart thumped heavily against my back and I was sure he had to be having nightmares. I tried not to feel any sympathy for him, but I knew he'd be just as glad as I was when all this was over even if he did thrive on excitement. This whole running-for-his-life thing was disturbing his sleep. 

The temperature dropped steadily as we went further north, and by the time we made it to the Illinois side of the St. Louis metro area in the early afternoon, it was close to freezing. The radio was issuing a winter storm advisory by evening. I planned to be out of here by then after dropping Daniel at the FBI field office in the city. We'd had a quiet ride up from Nashville, through Paducah and onto the state highways in Illinois. I'd made this drive many times, so I knew the shortest route. I passed the time scribbling in my notebook, while Daniel kept his thoughts silent. 

The Arch came into view. I glanced up when I realized we'd stopped. Daniel had pulled into a truck stop and parked in the corner furthest from the building, out past a parked eighteen-wheeler. 

"What's wrong?" I questioned.

"Nothing's wrong." 

Daniel turned to me and gave me the full benefit of his bone-melting smile. His eyes lingered on my face like he was memorizing it ... as silly as that thought was. He'd forget me the minute he got out of the truck and walked away without looking back. That was just the nature of his job, to use whatever tools he needed to accomplish his objective, and I was just something to help him to that end. It was okay. It would all be over soon and we could both move on.

I tried not to think about this morning when I opened my eyes in the dim gray motel room, waking to find Daniel half-consciously rubbing his nose in my neck while his body stretched out and relaxed next to mine, his arm heavy across my chest and his morning hard-on nudging my thigh. His skin was so fucking warm and I pushed him away, jumped up and headed to the bathroom with my heart pounding and my dick begging for his touch.

"Then why'd you pull over?"

He cocked his head and I felt my stomach give a little flip from the way his lips curved in at the corners. Smiling like that, looking at me. Fuck.

"I wish I had the words to tell you how much what you've done means to me."

"It's not like I had a choice," I mumbled as heat crept up my face.

"You had a choice, Ry. You know you did. You know you could've just refused to do this, but instead you chose to help me, to believe me... no matter how much you bitched about it." He laughed slightly and then he lifted his hand and touched my cheek. I knew it was red and I felt foolish; he ran his thumb lightly over my jaw, his eyes following his touch, and I tried to hide the shiver that ran through me, swallowing as I cursed myself for being such a ninny. 

"Well," I forced a smile, "turns out my gut had something to say after all."

"Yeah. Thank you for listening to it."

There was a split-second where he slid his hand behind my neck, my breath stopped and then he leaned across the center console and his mouth caught mine and covered it, his tongue slipping inside, lingering over the edge of my top teeth, tasting my tongue and twining around it. Shock froze me but only for a moment then my eyelids drifted down and I wrapped my arm around his neck like I'd never let go and I lost myself in his kiss. "Being lost in a kiss" was a phrase I'd repeated in my books a hundred times but until this moment, I thought it was only a tired cliché. His tongue probed and teased, lightly tracing my lower lip and I caught it playfully and sucked on it, then he was slowly fucking my mouth in and out with his tongue and the thrusts made me whimper as my cock got fully hard and strained against my crotch.

"Shit, Daniel." I drew back panting, grinning in a dazed and bleary sort of way. "If this is how you thank people then I wish I'd been a lot more helpful."

He laughed against my neck where he was nibbling little kisses along my jaw. 

"I'd like it."

His mouth slid over mine again and his fingers reached for my crotch and nimbly unbuttoned my jeans. I can't say I stopped him but I did hesitate slightly.

"What about them?" I gestured out the window at the people gassing up their trucks and milling around not too far from us.

"We'll just have to charge admission." He grinned, but then he ducked between the seats and climbed over the back seat into the cargo bed, beckoning me with one finger while he shimmied out of my khaki pants he still wore, his lean hips and belly emerging for my hungry eyes. "Come along, little redhead..."

I scrambled over the seat in record time, pulling my jeans down as I tumbled into the cargo bed where he waited with that breathtaking smile of welcome. I was caught in my clothes and he helped me ease them off while the cold drizzle misted the windows around us. Nobody would be peeking into cars in this weather, and I didn't care by now anyway. I didn't care that it was chilly and the cold made my nipples hard and my skin prickly. I didn't care that the rough carpet would leave rug burns on my knees and my elbows. I didn't care about much of anything except Daniel kneeling over me naked, straddling my stomach and grinning with his hand wrapped around the base of his cock, stroking it slowly.

"You gonna watch this time, or look up at the roof of the car?" Daniel teased. "You can't fool me, Ry... I know you were watching the whole time while I made myself cum for you..."

I let out a little groan and nodded while I avidly watched the way he circled the head with his fingertips, then stroked his balls, just like in the shower only this time the view was better because there was no soap, and I felt free to just stare hungrily instead of pretending like I wasn't watching. Fucking pride, making me miss that opportunity, when I could've slipped into the hot spray with him all wet and naked and gotten on my knees and felt his cum drench my throat instead of making him jerk off.  

A wide grin spread over my face because I had the chance to make up for that now.

I put my hands on his strong thighs and slid down between them so that his knees were on either side of my neck and his cock was right above my face and I could see every vein pulsing and the thick head flushed and eager. A sticky little drop welled up in his slit from his stroking and I lifted my head and licked it off and it was deliciously warm and salty-sweet. He dropped his hand from around his cock and stared down at me and I could see his chest rising and falling rapidly, his nipples hard from the cold, his belly so smooth and inviting.

"Oh yeah, I was watching and it was so fucking hot my dick almost melted," I growled. I wrapped my hand around his shaft, so warm and so hard, and licked it from the base to the tip and made him groan. "You made me crazy, I was so hard watching you..."

"Yeah, I saw," Daniel smirked and I got my revenge by licking his balls. The scent went straight to my pleasure receptors and for a moment, I was totally hypnotized. I sucked them gently, gripping his muscular ass in my palm while I teased the head of his cock with my thumb. Shit, he smelled good...




Between the Bars Pt. 02



"But I learned a lot," I finally tore myself away and went on between tracing a line down his inner thigh with my teeth. His gorgeous ass flexed in my hand; I wanted to fuck it, but fumbling for a condom and lube would've killed the mood so I'd just have to be satisfied with sucking his dick until he begged for mercy.

"Oh yeah?" he asked in that husky voice he got when he was turned on, "what did you learn?"

"What you like." 

I stroked his shaft harder, the way I'd seen him in the shower. I lifted my head and wrapped my lips around just the tip of his cock, swirling my tongue around and around until I heard a little moan come from his throat.

"Mmm yeah, I like that, baby... and what I like is hearing you tell me how much it turned you on," he whispered as his strong hand went under the back of my head, supporting it at the right angle for cocksucking. "You're not as shy as you pretend, are you, hmmm baby?" he panted while I slid my lips down his shaft and buried his cock in my hot mouth. "Oh, shit..." He gripped the back of the seat with his other hand, his weight falling forward as his knees went weak.

Yes, fuck my face...

I couldn't speak with a mouthful of cock, so I just moaned and sucked, guiding him forward with both hands on his ass now, handfuls of tight round muscle flexing and so very spankable. His thighs were shaking now and he was breathing harshly, so close to orgasm, just about to trip over the edge when he suddenly pulled back from my mouth and left me bereft and startled.

"What's..."

He looked down at me with his eyes dark with lust and his face all flushed, his breath panting through his lips, and gave me such a sexy smile that I broke out into a sweat despite the cold. Turning around, he kissed his way down my belly and sank down to his side next to me so that we were in the sixty-nine position. I shivered when his hand spread over my belly and smeared around the little puddle of juice that had dripped onto my skin while I sucked him, and when he licked it from his fingers my stomach gave that jump that it seemed like only Daniel could make me feel.

He made me feel a lot of things I thought I couldn't feel. When his tongue dipped into my slit, an intense surge of electricity shot through me and left me reeling. My moan was muffled by his cock in the back of my throat. It felt so good nestled in the roof of my mouth, warm and smooth, it was hard to breathe but I didn't care. The need to cum burned through me but I held off even with my dick buried in his hot, wet mouth. I tried but it wouldn't be for long, it felt too fucking good.

Oh, the things he could do with his tongue...

The beginnings of my orgasm gathered around the base of my spine and it was too late... I sucked him harder so he could join me but then he pressed that spot under my balls with his fingertips and I was done for. Tiny pinpricks of light behind my eyelids exploded into sunbursts as I shot into his mouth, down his throat in a flood.

He thrust his hips forward into my face while doing that low, sexy cry of "Oh!" The hot seawater jets of his cum filled my mouth and spilled out of the corner even as I swallowed and swallowed, greedy for every drop. God, he tasted good...

"Uhhh," Daniel groaned, his head dropping to the rough carpet while our chests heaved in tandem. "It's fucking freezing in here. Gimme my clothes before my dick falls off." I grinned and reached behind his shoulder for his shirt.

"We definitely can't have that."


Chapter 10

"No, I can't use your cell phone." 

That's what Daniel told me when I offered to let him call the number his friend gave him, instead of using the payphone on the side of the gas station. I saw his uneasy glance at the surveillance camera angled from the corner of the building, but he took a deep breath and I could plainly see him reminding himself that this would all be over in a matter of hours. Everything was fine now. The FBI would take care of it. No need to worry about the camera. Still, he pulled his Wal-Mart hunting cap over his shaved head and drew it down to his eyes, and added the sunglasses. He took a calling card out of his wallet.

"That number could be traced and it's better that you stay out of this as much as you can. If they never even know your name, it'll be good. I'll be back in just a minute."

I was puzzled but I just watched as he got out of the car and went to the payphone in the cold wind . What did it matter if the FBI knew my name, or where the call came from? But he was the cop, not me. It was his job to be paranoid.

The drizzle had intensified into icy-cold rain. It would be sleeting by nightfall and I hoped that wherever the FBI took Daniel, it would be somewhere out of the weather, not on the road, in case this winter storm got bad. I was headed the opposite direction after I took Daniel where he needed to go, but St. Louis was going to be hit hard. Warnings were all over the radio. Daniel was from Florida and as far as I knew, he didn't know much about winter weather. I watched him shiver in the cold at the payphone, crossing his arms and hunching his shoulders, turning his back to the biting wind and the needles of rain to scrawl on the same sheet of paper he'd written the phone number on.

"Brrrr." He shuddered, rubbing his arms, as he jumped in the car and sighed gratefully when I turned the heater up to full blast. He blew on his clenched hands. "Shit, I'm freezing, Ry."

"You need a coat. The FBI probably won't have one waiting for you. I should've made you stop along the way somewhere and buy one." I frowned unhappily. His cheeks were so red from the wind.

"You're so cute when you're fussy." He grinned over at me and I blushed, covering my embarrassment with annoyance. 

"Well?" I snapped. "Did you get an address, or are we just gonna drive around the city all day till we find the FBI office?"

Drawing the sheet of paper out of his back pocket, he read off the address. "Know where that is?"

"Yeah. It's down by the VA hospital. Shouldn't take long to get there." I nodded briefly and pulled out of the truck stop to get back on the highway that would take us into the city. 

The ride was silent. We'd said our goodbyes, for the most part. A mutual blowjob was better than any words. Instead, I mulled over the last two days. Never would've imagined something like this happening to me, not in a million years. Nothing ever happened to me. I made sure of it. I made sure nothing touched me, and from the very beginning, I was so angry with Daniel for dragging me into this whole mess. But now, it was almost over and the danger was gone, and I couldn't deny even to myself that I was a little bummed I'd never see him again. Why did it always happen this way? When I met an interesting and intelligent man, he was unavailable to me; yet, I couldn't get rid of the losers and bums.

"So," I broke the silence, which had become a canyon between us. It wouldn't be long before he was gone for good, but we could at least talk until then. "What do you think happens next?"

"Hmmm?" He looked up from his intense contemplation of the St. Louis skyline rising up to meet us out the rain-splattered windshield. "You mean with the investigation?"

"Well, I kind of meant with you," I admitted. It wasn't easy to say that... not as if I cared, I was just curious. "Are you planning on going back to Tallahassee when this all gets settled?"

"I don't know." He shrugged and went back to staring out the window.

I swallowed. Fine. He didn't want to talk. It wasn't like him to be unfriendly, but since we were a few minutes away from never seeing each other again, he'd clearly decided talking wasn't worth the effort. 

"It was a cell phone."

It was my turn to look up. "Huh?"

"When I called this agent I'm meeting. It wasn't the field office. It was a cell phone."

"Yeah? And do you think that means something?"

"No, probably not. Just odd. And odd things get my attention, you know?"

I nodded. His instincts were finely tuned.

"I'm sure it's nothing though."

He shrugged and stared out the window again, but I felt his tension. I'd always been sensitive to other people's emotions, but for some reason I was even more so with him. Not that it mattered. Still, his unease crept into my subconscious and my heart beat faster and the inevitable butterflies fluttered in my belly as I approached the street where our destination was. I started looking for something that could be an FBI office or some sort of official building, but this street seemed to be mostly industrial. The uneasy feeling increased and I glanced over at Daniel for reassurance, but he seemed to be looking around and noticing the same thing I was. That something didn't seem right.

"Well..." He took a deep breath and made an effort to smile at me. "This should be it up here, huh?"

"Yeah." I nodded. It was silly to be nervous. "Right down there."

He was watching the numbers on the square gray buildings. Finally, he pointed. "That's it."

A chain link fence, topped with a strand of barbed wire, surrounded the parking lot next to the building; a gate had been slid open and two cars waited. One was a plain 4-door sedan with regular Missouri plates; and the other was a St. Louis County Sheriff squad car. As I slowed, pulling closer to the curb, the doors on the sedan opened and I saw feet start to get out. Dark shoes of men, but no women, was the FBI agent supposed to be a woman? Daniel took another deep breath and put his hand on the door handle.

A police car. That isn't right, is it? There should be official vehicles with government plates. A parking lot with barbed wire... unmarked building... 

I will never know what made me do it. Daniel glanced over at me and started to smile his farewell. He opened the door and stuck his foot out as I came to a rolling stop next to the curb. I felt this huge weight right in the center of my chest as men got out of the squad car, men in dark suits and not uniforms, and then I just took my foot off the brake and stomped on the accelerator, tires squealing on the pavement as the vehicle sped off. Daniel slammed the door, his face ashen as he whirled around to stare out the back window at the men who stood there watching us drive off, their mouths moving silently as they gestured wildly at each other. 

"Fuck." My heart was a jackhammer in my chest, my mouth filled with sawdust when I tried to stammer out an explanation. "Shit. Daniel, I don't know why I did that. It just... something was just not..."

"Just go. Go."

No thinking anymore. I took the next right practically on two wheels, doubled back a block and then took another right, all the time glancing in my rearview mirror. "Are they back there? What fucking happened?"

"Nobody following us. You just drive and let me worry about the rest. Go."

A more torturous route through the heart of the city, nobody could've invented. I took scary side streets instead of the main road and my heart raced so that I thought it would explode. The sky grew darker and grimmer as the storm approached, trailing us to the nearest bridge. The rain started to crackle when it hit the windshield, turning to tiny splinters of ice. Daniel was tense and silent, watching the mirrors, finally looking up sardonically when I took an isolated stretch of highway surrounded by trees.

"I hope you know where you're going."

"I do."

The wide bridge was under us and we were back in Illinois, a long way north from where we'd crossed into St. Louis the first time. Daniel had relaxed just a little but he looked increasingly doubtful as I drove further and further into more rural country, taking county roads that didn't even have a dividing line. As we passed through a tiny little town hugging the riverbank and I turned up yet another asphalt paved road, Daniel could stay quiet no longer. 

"Rylan... where the fuck are you taking me? In case you hadn't noticed this storm is about to throw a wrench in our travel plans."

My heart had slowed as the adrenaline burst dissipated, leaving me a little shaky, but I felt better now that we weren't exposed on major roads and I was on my home ground. 

"Relax." I grinned. "We're going to my house."

His eyebrows went up and he stared at me. "What?"

"I grew up about ten more miles up that way."

I pointed to the fields that were now visible since we'd risen up from the river valley. The sky was bleak and threatening and soon this sleet would be dangerous. I could feel the tires starting to crunch over the icy road and I slowed and engaged the 4-wheel drive. Yes, this was my hometown, if you could call the clusters of houses dotting the county roads, surrounded by wintry fields, a town. There actually was a town, with a tiny post office, a convenience store, a church and couple of taverns, but it was another fifteen minutes past where we were stopping. As I turned down the road that led to my property, I felt the tightness in my chest ease; Daniel nodded slowly, but I could feel him begin to relax too. 

"I keep my house... my grandparents left it to me," I explained, because he still looked puzzled. "I visit enough that I keep it stocked with basics; it'll be warm and safe until this storm's over. And we can get a breather for the night, kinda figure out what happened and what you're going to do."

"Okay." Daniel nodded, but I could feel his uncertainty and something almost like fear, and I reached over and took his cold hand in mine. 

"Don't think," I told him. "We'll get to my house and get out of this weather. We'll turn on the heat and get under some blankets, and then you can think. We'll get this figured out, okay?"

Another nod, and he squeezed my hand as I turned into the familiar gravel drive that led back into the fields.

***



Between the Bars Pt. 03



Chapter 11

The motion-sensor lights on the house had flicked on when I drove up and headed down the driveway to the big barn in back. Daniel looked puzzled when I jumped out and threw open the big double doors, but then he caught on and climbed into the driver's seat and pulled in. I closed the doors behind us, locking the Passport in the barn and motioned Daniel to the house. The ice pelted us and thick black clouds choked the sky. He shivered in the wind with the rain running over his shaved head and down his neck, clutching his bag, following me up the old-fashioned cement sidewalk past the old hand-pump for the well, and my grandma's flowerbeds that were now empty and full of brown weeds, to the back porch where I used to play. The two-story farmhouse was old, but solid. It had weathered storms a lot worse than this one.

I unlocked the back door and let him into the dark house. He rubbed his arms and looked around in dismay at the cold, gloomy kitchen.

"Hang on a minute. I gotta go flip the breakers."

Without meaning to, I brushed a kiss over his cheek before I headed back outside to lift the doors into the root cellar. I pushed the buttons on the old-timey glass circuit breakers, the familiar smell of must and the dirt floor pungent in my nostrils.  Why did I kiss him? That was so stupid. My stomach lurched when I thought about what he must be thinking right now. 

Okay. Knock it off. I took a deep breath and grabbed a jar of golden home-canned peaches from the shelves against the wall. They were from last summer, but they would still be fine. They'd be good with whatever canned food we could scrounge from the cabinets, probably jars of tamales or corned beef hash. 

The sleet was coming down even harder when I ran back up the wooden stairs and slid the bar back in place over the doors when they slammed shut. Small, hard pellets of snow mixed with the frozen raindrops. I eyed the glaze of ice forming over the bare-limbed trees. This was going to be a bad one. We were lucky to get here when we did, before the roads got too treacherous. Nobody could've followed us all the way here.

I repeated that firmly to myself and shut down on that line of thinking. Safe here. A breather, time to think. The screen door clattered shut behind me and I shivered in the kitchen, shaking the icy rain from my hair. Daniel was on the other side of the room, kneeling in front of the old iron stove. He'd found the shovel and ash bucket and was clearing out the stove's belly, scooping out the ash to start a fire. Kindling and old newspaper were in a basket next to the stove, just like they'd been for as long as I could remember. With the lights on, things looked a lot more cheerful, totally normal and reassuring.

"It's a good stove," Daniel said as I set the peaches on the counter and got out the jar of instant coffee above the sink.

"Yeah. It really keeps the room warm." I smiled faintly at the two rockers on either side of the stove. I could almost see my grandparents sitting there rocking. They'd like Daniel. "Well, we have electricity for now, but if the ice keeps building on the power lines it could go down. We don't have any gas, though; we keep it shut off when nobody's here so that means no stove and no furnace. The water heater's electric so when the tank has time to heat, we'll have enough hot water for a bath." I put water into two mugs and popped them in the microwave. "There's plenty of wood on the side porch and a fireplace in the living room, so even if the power does go off, we'll be fine. Can you take care of lighting that fire?" I asked his back.

"I think so." He was tearing the newspaper in strips in the proper way, so I was satisfied he knew what he was doing. 

"Okay. I'll go get us some warm clothes."

My old room upstairs was freezing. I stayed only long enough to get enough long johns, flannel shirts and wool socks for both of us out of the closet and dresser. Yep, definitely sleeping downstairs. My grandparents' room was close enough to the fireplace that we wouldn't freeze. I planned on making sure we both stayed very, very warm tonight even if we had to use body heat.

Back in the kitchen, he had a small fire going in the stove. "Where did you say the wood was?" he asked. He looked so sexy sitting back on his heels, a smudge of soot across his chin. The kindling blazed, but I knew he still had to be chilled to the bone, especially with all his hair gone. I'd never been attracted to bald men, but he made the shaved look sexy, all sleek and feral.

"Side porch, right out that door. Put these on first, before you freeze," I ordered, dumping the clothes at his side.

No argument from him. Gratefully, he stripped and reached for the long underwear. His bare chest prickled from the cold, the nipples standing out in hard nubs. His lean belly flexed as he raised his arms to pull the shirt over his head and I was mesmerized by the silky line of hair under his navel that disappeared into the waistband of the khakis he'd borrowed from me, now crumpled and smudged. The long underwear shirt fell into place covering his hips, and then he shed the pants, stepping out of them when the fell to his ankles. When he bent to hike up the long johns, I caught a glimpse of his luscious pale ass, and then the outline of his cock lolling against his thigh and his balls weighing down the thin waffle knit. He smirked at me when I realized he'd caught me staring - again - but I just blushed a little and grinned, shrugging. Who could blame me for looking?

"Ahhh warmth," he breathed in relief as he pulled on the thick red-and-black plaid flannel shirt I'd brought down and buttoned it up the front. "I've been cold so long I almost forgot what warm is like."

I'll show you. I almost said it, but now wasn't the time to perv on him, not after what he'd just been through. My libido was making a comeback, but his might not be. He had a lot on his mind and it would probably be best if I just backed off for now and saw what happened later. Watching him kick off his boots and pull the wool socks on, seeing his shaved head bent reminded me of the pellets of sleet abusing it and trickling down his bare neck and I thought of something.

"Wait a minute." I headed to the closet in the cold living room where all the cold weather gear, coats and boots and mittens and so forth, were all kept. "Here. Most body heat is lost through the head you know." Back in the kitchen, I put a wool stocking cap on Daniel's bare head and pulled it down to the tops of his ears. My fingertips brushed his scalp and he sucked in a sharp breath, closing his eyes on a shudder. "Sorry, are my hands cold?" 

"Umm, yeah. Kind of." He shivered again and smiled at me. "Thanks, Ry."

"No problem." I was glad to do it, glad to make him a little more comfortable, even if I didn't like to think too much about the warm feeling that spread through me when he gave me a gorgeous blue-eyed grateful smile. While Daniel brought in wood from the enclosed side porch, I used the microwave to make instant coffee and heat up some canned chili. I also filled the big enamel stockpot with water and put it on the stove while Daniel built the fire up.

"What's that for?"

"I dunno." I shrugged. "My grandma always had a pot of water on the stove in case we needed it."

"Probably a good idea." He crossed his legs under him on the floor next to the stove. "So you grew up here, huh? I never would've guessed you for a farm boy."

"Yup. All my life till I went off to college." Flipping on the weather radio, I reached down a bottle of Bailey's from a cabinet and poured it into the mugs with the coffee. "Fed chickens, drove a tractor, the whole deal."

Handing him the mug, I went over and picked up the phone, which was probably one of the last of its kind with the big receiver and small, square keypad on the base, mounted to the wall with a long, stretched-out spiral cord. I heard a dial tone so I punched in the familiar number quickly before the lines went down. The ice was pounding against the windows and I could see it getting worse outside. The weather radio droned a severe winter storm warning.

"Charlotte. It's Ry. Yeah, we just drove up right as the roads started to ice. No, I parked in the barn." I rolled my eyes and then held the phone away from it slightly as the voice on the other end hollered. "Yes, we. No Char, we broke up months ago. This is someone else." I glanced at Daniel who was listening to every word with an amused expression and I edged into the pantry and lowered my voice. "Yes, he's very nice and fucking gorgeous. Just met him actually... I know." I smirked. You're such a tramp, she'd told me.

"I don't know how long we're staying, I guess until the weather lets us leave. We've got firewood and plenty of blankets and kerosene for the lamps and plenty of candles if the power goes down, so we'll be fine. Oh yeah?....Sure, that'd be great, but..." I dropped down to a whisper. "Tell him not to come too early, and knock before he comes in, okay?"

After stifling laughter, I hung up the phone and strolled over to the stove to sit down in my grandma's rocker with my Bailey's and two bowls of chili. Daniel took one and started eating, probably just realizing, as I did, that we hadn't eaten since early this morning. Even from a can, it tasted pretty damn good.

"That was my Aunt Charlotte. She lives across that field behind us." My aunt, but only six years older than more and me like my big sister. We pretty much grew up together right here in this kitchen. "She keeps an eye on things while I'm gone. She said the interstates are closing, and the county's already decided it will be too dangerous for the salt trucks tomorrow, so we might be here until the next day. In the morning, she's going to send her husband Paul over here on the 4-wheeler to bring us some more firewood and stuff." And to spy, I'm sure.

Daniel stared at me with such a puzzled expression, I asked him what was wrong. "What's a salt truck?" he asked.

That made me laugh. I poured more Bailey's into what remained of our coffee while I explained about the county road maintenance crew of two snowplows and two trucks that spread rock salt on the pavement to melt the ice. In all his travels around the world, he'd never seen such a thing. He grew up in Florida and he'd been a lot of different places but most of them were hot like the Persian Gulf. As soon as he said that word, he clamped his mouth shut and looked away, and I didn't pry. Instead, I went and opened the peaches. The weather radio was a lulling background hum, taking me back to mornings before the bus came and my grandpa reading the paper in his rocker while my grandma clattered at the counter.

"Here. You'll like these. My grandma canned them."

He took the bowl, looking up at me from the floor where he still sat, his sock feet curled under him. God, he was adorable. "So how long have your grandparents been gone?"

"Let's see, about four years."

"They both died at the same time? That's awful, I'm so sorry."

"Died?" I repeated blankly. Then I burst into laughter while Daniel stared at me in startled bafflement. "They're not dead, Daniel, they just retired and moved to Sarasota."

"Oh... that's good, then." He grinned and poked the yellow-orange fruit in his bowl with the spoon. "So that means the peaches aren't four years old, right?"

We both laughed some more, our giggles fueled by Bailey's on an empty stomach, and Daniel was so fucking cute in that wooly hat, I had to sink down to the floor next to him and kiss him. He tasted like sweet, peachy summer sunshine and I dipped my tongue into his mouth and drank him down like cool water from a well. 

"My hands are warm now." I slipped them behind his neck and rubbed the slight stubble that was starting to grow out. He shuddered again, shivered hard and caught his pouty bottom lip between his teeth, and I felt his body stiffen and then quiver against mine while I watched in fascination.

"They weren't cold earlier," he admitted with a coy smile that snaked straight into my cock. "It's just that... well, since I shaved my head any little touch feels very intense. I discovered it in the shower last night. If I'd known it was this erotic I would've done it a long time ago."

My breath caught and I shivered myself at the thought of a casual touch like brushing his scalp being such a powerful turn-on for him. An innocent touch on the back of the head could even happen in public, nobody would think anything of it and anyone could be watching and not know that his dick was getting hard, bulging against the unforgiving denim of his jeans...

Getting to my knees next to him, I pulled off the hat and drew his head forward so that his forehead was resting lightly against my chest. I slowly ran my hand up his neck and over his head, letting my palm stroke the silky stubble and the roundness of his smooth warm scalp, circling it while he shivered in a spasm of pleasure. My cock ached at the warmth of his breath coming in short little puffs through my shirt, his fingers coming up to cling to my hips.

"I miss your hair," I said. "I loved running my fingers through it and pulling it, but if this turns you on, then I can learn to like it too."

"It'll grow back," he muttered against my sternum, rubbing against my hand like a cat. He tilted his head back with his eyes closed and let out a little sound that was almost like a purr and my knees started to tremble.

"I won't see it."

He opened his eyes briefly at that comment, but his head fell back against my hands as I lightly trailed them both over his scalp and soon he was rubbing against me, stroking my cock through my jeans with his other hand sliding up the front of my shirt. I groaned and undulated my hips against his hand. No thinking right now, plenty of time to deal with everything later, the layer of ice growing thicker and thicker outside insulated us from the outside world in our own little cocoon.

There was a pop around us. Everything went black and silent just long enough for us to pull away from each other and look around, and then the power came back on. Outside, it was getting darker as the daylight faded into the storm clouds. It would be too dark to see if the power went out again within the next hour. Regretfully, I dropped my hands to Daniel's shoulders and pushed him back slightly so that he had to stop groping me.

"Shit. We need to get everything ready for when the power goes out."

"But it just blinked, it won't go off completely."

"Have you looked outside lately?" I questioned, lifting my eyebrow. I hauled him to his feet and steered him by the shoulders over to the window over the sink. We could see the barn from here. Standing behind him, I put my chin on his shoulder and pointed to the power lines running between it and the house, bowed and drooping with the weight of the ice. "See that? That's us, about to lose our electricity until the power company can get out here and repair the lines."

Instead of staring at the power lines in dread, his eyes lit up at the snow beginning to pile up and cover the bleak icy landscape. "It's snowing," he said, turning to me with a wide smile that was so unselfconscious and purely excited that I turned to jelly. He was a southern boy, and snow was still something exciting to him.

"Yeah. Part of the reason I live in Atlanta now." I sounded grouchy to cover up that warm glow his smile created in the pit of my stomach. "Now come on. We need to get the fire lit in the living room. There's a kerosene heater and some lanterns, as well as plenty of candles and flashlights. Radio says it's going to get into single digits tonight."

"Mmm, it'll be like a campout. Got any marshmallows?" He rubbed his lightly stubbled cheek against mine and I shivered. How did he do it? He had a magic ability to forget his tension and live completely in the moment. The outside world was cut off and so he didn't bother to worry about it. When he had to deal with it, he would; until then, having a warm place to sleep was enough.

"No, no marshmallows, but I can teach you how to make popcorn over an open fire if you like." I nuzzled the sensitive back of his neck, grinning when he sucked in his breath and leaned back against me. I was starting to think that maybe winter storms weren't so bad after all.

****


Chapter 12

"Fucking gorgeous, huh?"

Blushing, I faced the mantle, where I was trimming the wick on a glass hurricane lamp with red oil in the base. 

"I thought I was being quiet." I grinned through my embarrassment and heard Daniel laugh. He was at my feet, putting a log into the fire. 

"You were, but I have really good ears."

From the corner of my eye, I saw him get up and he was behind me, wrapping his arms around my chest. He buried his face in my neck and his body felt so good pressed into me from behind, every inch of his warm flesh fitting into me, that I had to brace one hand against the mantle to keep my knees from getting weak. 

"You did the right thing," he said in a low voice. The words didn't register on me at first because the feeling of his soft breath in my ear and his goatee tickling me made it hard to concentrate on his words, but I made myself focus because I realized he was being serious. "Earlier, when you drove away. Everything was wrong with that situation and I tried to convince myself it was okay, because I wanted this all to be over. I kept telling myself it was fine when my gut was telling me it wasn't. But you listened to yours and got us out of there."

Squeezing me, he hooked his chin over my shoulder. We fit together so comfortably. It shouldn't feel this right, should it? He was so warm. I could feel his cock pressing into my ass from behind and it was partially hard, but he simply held on to me. I reached up and put my hand over his and then he twined his fingers in mine and stared over my shoulder into the fire crackling at our feet. 

"I looked behind us as you took the corner, Rylan. One of the men in the squad car was there that night."

I gasped slightly and he nodded against my shoulder. The night he was almost killed.

"Yeah, it was a set-up, and I should've never gotten within a hundred miles of it. Even a rookie would've known better. But I let myself get careless because I was tired and worried and scared, and I probably would've died if not for you." His forehead dropped lightly to my shoulder and I felt his chest rise and fall a little more rapidly. "I trusted Scott Wyman, so I didn't question why this all seemed so easy. When something's too easy, it's always wrong. I trusted him because he was Special Ops like I was and I thought that was an unbreakable bond. But loyalty doesn't mean anything when money's concerned."

"There are some people who can't be bought," I said softly.

His arms tightened around me and I reached up and brushed his cheek, still clutching the mantle for dear life. The icy snow pelted against the windows and on the roof; the fire blazed and popped, surrounding us in warmth. Daniel felt so good. We weren't going anywhere tonight, we were going to fuck, it was inevitable; but being in his arms like this while he made me feel things with his words, things I didn't want to feel and hadn't thought I could feel anymore... it was so dangerous. I couldn't afford to feel this way, not about him...

"Yeah. Sometimes you get lucky and stumble on some loyalty." He breathed a soft laugh in my ear, relaxing his hold on me. "You saved my ass, Rylan. Again. You know that, don't you?"

"Sure I do. And you owe me at least a blowjob."

Daniel's sexy laugh dripped down my spine. It pooled in my gut and I was instantly hard. His fingers released mine and skimmed my chest. He teased my nipples through my shirt until they were hard nubs and I let out an odd little whimper that would've embarrassed me if I cared anymore.




Between the Bars Pt. 03



"I'll give you more than that. I'll give you anything and everything you want." 

Oh god. I shifted restlessly under his hot, relentless breath. Part of my brain warned me how bad this was, but the rest of me didn't care. The fine soft hairs of his goatee tickled me and scratched me beyond what I could handle. He hadn't even kissed me yet and already I felt desperate and overloaded. My nerves were raw and jumpy from everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours; I needed an outlet and I needed it now.

Spinning in his arms, I wrapped my arm around his neck and found his hard, sculpted abs under the layers of clothing. His tongue teased and licked at my lips and then slid into my mouth, warm and sweet, playing with mine and I was lost in his taste, addicted to it. I shoved my tongue between his teeth and growled hungrily when he squeezed my ass. Fuck, I smelled his cock and I wanted it. I pulled my mouth from his and dropped to my knees on the bricks of the hearth, dragging the long johns down while I yanked his flannel shirt open. I purred happily at the sight of his cock smacking his belly.

"Mmm, greedy," he grinned. Daniel's hand came down to rest along the side of my face as I nuzzled his warm crotch. The pubic hairs tickled my nose as I ran my tongue through the thick, silky golden curls swirling over his balls and into the crease of his thigh. With the flat of my tongue, I licked up the sensitive underside of his shaft to that sweet spot just beneath the head. That made him moan and I smiled, glancing up at his eyes.

"I want this." 

I wrapped my hand around the case of his cock and licked the tip, and Daniel watched with his eyes gleaming while I rubbed it against my cheek, then my lips and my chin and even over my closed eyelids, just to feel it on my skin, feel it everywhere. It was warm and silky; it smelled so good and felt so good when I slid my lips over the thick head and sucked it lightly, circling it over and over with my tongue until I tasted his juices well up. I started to sink my mouth down his shaft, but he suddenly pulled away leaving me bereft.

"Hey," I protested. He held me on my knees, with his cock in my face but not letting me close enough to touch it.

"You like being on your knees, Ry? Maybe on your knees with your ass in the air, and a big, shiny black dildo sliding in and out of your hole..."

My heart started pounding directly in my throat. "But I don't..."

"I know, you don't bottom," he interrupted my protest. "But see... I think you do." He kept me on my knees, but dropped his voice down to a low, hypnotic rumble that I had to strain to hear. The heat in my face had nothing to do with the flames in the fireplace next to me but for some reason I didn't even try to move. "I think you've just never had a good top. I think someone fucked you over, maybe even hurt you."

He stopped, and his face wasn't smug or even looking for an answer, he was just looking at me. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out and I looked away. 

"You missed the feeling though," Daniel went on softly. "That feeling of something filling you up and hitting that little spot inside you... so you bought that big black dick I saw in your drawer. Cocks are a lot easier to deal with when there's nobody attached to them, aren't they?"

My blush was so deep and intense, I felt a little dizzy and my heart was thumping in that low, hard banging I hated so much. My throat was thick and muddy. 

"Don't be embarrassed. It makes me hot thinking about it. I wish I'd grabbed it before we ran out." He grinned briefly and put his hand under my chin, lifting my face so he could see my eyes. I didn't want to look at him but I did. I couldn't not look at him. I loved looking at his gorgeous blue eyes and nothing I told myself could stop the warm feeling I got when he smiled at me. "It's safe, you know. Serve and protect, that's the police creed."

Safe. It was critical for me. I lived my life for safe. I locked myself away in my master bedroom-turned-office for safe. My very own ivory tower. Daniel had dragged me out of it kicking and screaming, but in the end, he was right. I could've stopped him, but I didn't. 

And I didn't stop him when he took my hands and pulled me up to my feet, his mouth taking mine as he tugged my sweater and my t-shirt up, releasing my lips just long enough to drag them over my head. A minute later we were in my grandparents' squeaky old iron bed, kerosene heater battling the chill in the room, me naked but barely feeling the cold with Daniel's naked body stretched out over mine, skin hot from the flames. I skimmed my palms from his smooth ass cheeks up his golden back, closing my eyes as he wiggled his hips between my legs, making his hard cock slide up next to mine.

"Fuck," I gasped. Already I was leaking, making a pool on my belly. I could feel his arms shaking a bit with all his weight supported on them.

"Mmm, yeah." Daniel dipped his head and nibbled my left nipple. I rubbed myself against the warm weight on his cock, trying to get friction between our bellies. "And I know how to do it right... push it in nice and slow and let you stretch around it, let you push into me and show me how deep and how fast you want it... and my cock will be so warm inside you and you'll feel so nice and full..."

A strange sound came from my throat. In a haze of lust, I barely noticed his hands rolling me over, until my face was in the dusty-smelling pillow and his hot mouth was on the back of my neck. I didn't move as he shifted his weight more fully onto me, pushing me down into the bed, pinning me firmly. I was pinned and I loved the feeling of his cat-like muscular body on mine, his six-feet-two-inches of warmth and hardness. Instead of struggling, I let out a sigh of what sounded like relief. Relieved that I didn't have to fight this, I didn't have to do anything but lie still as his tongue lightly traced the curve of my spine down to the top of my ass.

"You're going to lift your ass for me," he told me in that low hypnotic voice that made me lose the will to resist, not that I wanted to at this point anyway. "You're going to open for me and I'm going to put my tongue in you until you scream. And then...." A husky little chuckle brushed over my skin and made my cock leak onto the quilt, and I couldn't stand it anymore. "I'm going to fuck you nice and slow at first, until you can't stop yourself and you beg me for more."

"God. Daniel."

Tugging, hands gently drawing me up to my knees. The cool air brushed my exposed ass. My back arched upward and I dropped my head between my elbows, clutching handfuls of the sheets to stop my wild shaking. How did he know?

"You look so fucking hot on your knees." 

That low raspy voice...warm hands on my ass cheeks, parting them and oh god I couldn't stop shaking. My elbows collapsed and my face went into the dusty pillow and my mouth filled with cotton as I bit into it. I didn't want him to stop, not ever.

"Mmm such a tight little hole... I can't wait to taste it." 

Just his rough growl made me whimper and I shot out of my skin when his agile tongue slid down my crack and circled my hole. The pillow muffled my moan, and then disappointment crushed me when he pulled away leaving my cock aching.

"Get your face out of that pillow," the rough, commanding voice told me. "I want to hear you scream. I want you to shake the fucking walls." Hands stroking my ass, my hips, my trembling thighs struggling to hold me steady. "There's nobody to hear, nobody for miles." Softer whisper this time, soothing and knowing some deep part of me. "You can let go, Rylan. Just stop thinking, let me take everything away for awhile and you can just not think, not worry...."

"Oh fuck," I breathed aloud while my heart hammered in my throat. His hot breath on the tender skin of my ass and then his tongue, lapping and probing at my hole; I arched into him, and then I just gave in, letting the whole world drop out from under me with the strangest sensation of falling. Just falling into him, the skillful strokes of his tongue teasing my hole, darting in and out. Oh god, so much relief to just let go, not think. My head dropped low between my arms while I listened to the soft, greedy sounds he made licking my ass. 

When his tongue slid past the tight ring of muscle and slipped inside me, I moaned and melted, all my resistance gone. I pushed back against him and he groaned, pulling my ass wider with his thumbs, pressing until his finger slid inside me and I felt quick, exquisite tingles radiating out and curling in my balls. 

"Daniel," I breathed as I twisted against him. I wanted that finger, I wanted more, everything he had.

"I need to fuck you, I need to fuck you now... your wallet in your pocket?" Impatiently, he reared back and suddenly empty, I sank down into the mattress in a sweaty, panting heap. My cock throbbed so hard, I knew I'd come the minute he entered me. I needed to be filled and I'd not had a real live cock in a very long time. Hot, hard, thrusting, pounding flesh instead of sleek unforgiving plastic. The first inch and I'd be gone. Wanting it made me shake all over, waiting while he slid naked off the bed to grab my jeans from the floor.

"I don't have a condom in my wallet," I said when I realized dimly what he was doing.

"Goddammit." He disappeared and I rolled to my side, stroked myself impatiently. My cock was wet from my juices. The wind howled and beat at the windows but it was warm in here... warm and safe. I'd never felt this safe.

"Ry?"

I looked up at Daniel standing naked in the doorway, a horrified look on his face. "What is it?" I demanded.

"Please tell me you have some condoms stashed around here."

"Holy shit..." I caught my breath, my eyes darting up to his as I shook my head. "You don't have any in your bag?"

"I thought I did."

I whimpered with disappointment, my hand stroking and squeezing my cock. Fine then. I couldn't help myself, I couldn't wait anymore. On my side, I lifted my knee, I slid my wet finger inside my hole, filling the empty spot that still tingled from his tongue, his fingers. He stared at me open-mouthed from the doorway for a split second, then he remembered to take a breath.

"Of fuck.... that's so hot baby... But don't cum, not yet. Hang on."

Reluctantly, I stopped, letting my finger slide out even while my hole tightened to keep it inside; he was gone from the doorway and I squirmed restlessly.

"Where are you going?" I called impatiently. "If you can't fuck me, then I'll just have to do it myself."

***


Chapter 13

"Wait, baby, please," he called desperately from somewhere beyond the doorway. The electricity was still on, but it was only a matter of time before the power lines succumbed to the weight of the ice. It happened every time we had an ice storm out here because the electrical connections had never been modernized, it was connected to the outside of the house instead of being buried. In the winter, the house was always prepared and kept stocked with emergency supplies, lanterns and candles and everything we needed to stay warm. We'd gotten everything ready so that there would be no fumbling around in the dark. Still, I heard a thud and a muffled curse from the kitchen.

"You okay in there?" I asked, amused. 

"Yeah...." muttering, "fucking fucker..."

It hit me then, the creeping realization over what I'd just done and said... I'd never done that in front of someone, never even admitted I did it let alone said it out loud and now I just did both, right in front of this person I'd only met a few days ago. Had it even been a few days, I didn't even know anymore, time was losing its relevance to me.

Hurried footsteps were coming toward the bedroom and I grabbed the quilt and rolled up in it, burying my burning face in the pillow. Just thinking of him finding my dildo in the drawer was too much to bear and his comments replayed repeatedly in my brain until my veins were filled with shards of ice. Cocks are easier when there's nobody attached... My dick was still hard but I couldn't look at him, not now and not ever, I was never going to look at him again. 

"Hope you saved some for me..." His voice, slightly breathless, his weight pressing down the bed and the whisper of objects being set down carefully. Then he paused, touching me through the quilt. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Silence. I couldn't speak even if I hadn't had my face in the pillow. 

"Rylan... what is it? Did I say something?"

The little note of worry in his question was so adorable, I was suddenly ashamed of myself for being so selfish, not thinking of him, just of myself. I hated my own shame and I hated that I wasn't normal, because he didn't deserve this. It wasn't his fault that I was so fucking... like I was.

"No..." I pulled the pillow away from my face and looked up at his eyes even though it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. He looked so sweet and anxious, I actually managed a smile. "It's not you Daniel. It's me, I just..."

"I know," he said; and because of the look in his eyes, I actually believed that he really did know. For the first time in my life, I felt as if someone really understood me and it was almost scary, the emotions that brought out. He smiled at his hand as he slid it into my hair, rubbing his thumb over the base of my skull in tiny circles. "But you don't have to be embarrassed with me. It's hot... so hot to see you like that, touching yourself because you have to, because you're so hot for me you can't wait anymore..."

That rough sexy voice cast its spell over me and I felt my paralyzing blush fading and leaving the overwhelming desire to please him. I'll do anything you want, anything just guide me, show me... I felt frantic and disconnected as he unwound me from the quilt and I lifted my hips when he slid a pillow under them, riding the waves of his voice talking to me every second while his hands positioned me the way he wanted me, on my back, hips up and knees apart.

"I can't fuck you but I want to watch you, I want to see exactly what you like so when this ice melts and we can take a snowplow or a dogsled to the nearest drugstore, I'll be ready, I'll know exactly how you like to be fucked... Show me, Ry."

Something cool and firm slid into my hand and when I finally focused my eyes, I saw it was a slim white candle from the emergency supplies. It had never been lit and it was sleek and tempting. I slid it through my palm, feeling my hole start to tingle as I thought of him watching me, jacking himself over me while I fucked myself with it... 

"Yeah, that's it, get it ready." His breath was coming a little faster now and his voice sent shivers through me. Years since I'd let someone fuck me or even wanted to but right now, I'd give anything to feel his cock invading me. He moved away for a second, reached down and grabbed what I saw was a big bottle of yellow corn oil. When he held it up with a smirk, I laughed. So that was what he was banging around in the kitchen for. "Appropriate for a farm boy, I thought," he grinned and I nodded my agreement.

Careful not to spill anything, he opened the cap and tilted the bottle over my belly, pouring out a thin rivulet from my just below my belly button and over my cock. Cool droplets trickled down my balls. Looking up into his eyes, I ran my palm over my belly, smearing the oil all over it and down over my cock so that it was so slippery it slid effortlessly through my hand and my hips jerked involuntarily and I groaned.

"Mmm," Daniel breathed. He was panting now, watching me intently with his eyes dark and heavy and his hand lazily rubbing his cock. It glistened with precum and I couldn't stop looking at it. "Tell me what you think about when you're fucking yourself with that big black cock in your drawer. I want to know everything you've never admitted to anyone, Ry, everything that secretly gets you off so hard your head almost explodes when you cum."

"There are two guys," I said even though I had no idea why I was telling him this, I'd barely even said it to myself let alone aloud. "I don't know who they are, but I can't get away. I can't even see their faces."

"Do they have you restrained?" he asked softly.

I swallowed, it wasn't easy for me to say this. Major deep dark confession, fantasy I hid in the darkest places, so that I didn't even consciously think about it. "Yes... just my wrists. And I can't see because I'm blindfolded and they have me on my hands and knees..."

"Oh fuck," he said involuntarily, his eyes widening. "What do they make you do?"

"They... um, one of them is in front of me and the other one is behind me." I slid the candle through my oiled hand, making it slippery. Daniel's eyes bored down, watching intently as I reached down and teased my hole with the end of the candle. This was making him so hot, my embarrassment faded, anything for that look of animal lust on his face that came from my words and what I was doing. "The one if front of me is holding my head and making me suck him, it's hard to breathe but I don't care, I could suck his dick forever and ever." 

Slowly, I let the candle slide into my hole and its cool length made me moan raggedly. Daniel put his hands on my knees and pushed them back slightly, staring down, watching my tender hole flutter around the slender wax column. My cock twitched so hard with the need to cum that I wrapped the fingers just of my right hand under the head and squeezed firmly so that the pressure and slight pain backed the orgasm off and bought me more time. I wanted to make Daniel a limp puddle before I let myself cum but it wasn't going to be easy. 

"And the other one is fucking you, pounding into you from behind and making you moan around the cock in your mouth..."

"Yeah." Whimpering, I squirmed as I slowly slid the candle back and forth past my tight ring in gentle little thrusts. Daniel's chest rose and fell rapidly and he was flushed, so damp and beautiful with his sheen of excitement, barely restrained as he stared down at me slowly fucking myself. It felt good, but at the same time, it was a tease. When it bumped my prostate I writhed, but it was so slender, there just wasn't enough girth to fill me the way I craved. His cock could do it, it was so nice and thick, but I couldn't have that and the frustration was crushing me and tearing me apart.

"Daniel. I need more," I whispered with something like desperation. I felt split open and exposed and deliriously free. Nothing mattered. He'd said it was safe and it was, for once in my life I believed that. "Something thicker."

No answer but a low growl. He jumped off the bed and returned a second later with a wicked grin and something hidden behind his back. 

"Close your eyes."

I obeyed, letting the blackness drift through my mind, not thinking, just like he told me to, letting myself go and just feeling the hard wax inside me and my hole tingling around it, craving more as I slowly rotated my hips into the feeling. Sounds of him fumbling around, plastic cap on the bottle of oil, the anticipation growing, wondering what he had.

"Now turn over," he said in an impossibly sexy voice that just blazed through me like a fireball. I tossed the candle on the floor and flipped over, draping my hips over the pillow. My cock throbbed under my weight and I parted my knees and drew them up. I spread my ass for him, just the way he promised I would. I did everything he wanted me to do. Not thinking was such a relief.

I felt something cold, hard and slippery pressing at my hole. It was thick and not especially rounded at the end, and there was a little jolt of pain and surprise as it invaded my hole. Gasping I twisted around to see what it was and Daniel withdrew it so he could hold it up and show me what he was putting in me. My eyes widened, and then I laughed. It was my grandpa's MagLite, long, slender, sleek and shiny metallic blue. Its thickness was the girth of a C battery plus the metal sheath.




Between the Bars Pt. 03



"Is this a cop thing? Fucking someone with a flashlight?" I gasped with a combination of lust and amusement.

"I left my nightstick at home." A grin flashed over his face and then his fingers slipped inside me and we both moaned. Then the flashlight pressed into me and I relaxed, rubbing my cock against the pillow to help turn the pain into pleasure. Eventually, Daniel's harsh voice penetrated my fog. "Yeah, it's a cop thing... you're under arrest and you can't get away... too bad my partner's not here so you could suck his cock."

I realized what he was doing and the world abruptly shifted off-kilter, I couldn't feel my legs and arms, his voice was a lifeline holding me to the earth or I would've just fallen off as the fantasy overtook me. Instinctively, I pulled myself to my knees and my chest fell to the bed, my arms over my head, my ass in the air as the flashlight went past my resistance, stretching me, spreading me so wide and he was talking but I couldn't hear his words through the rushing in my ears. I couldn't get away, could almost feel something wrapped around my wrists holding them down, and the relentless thrust in my ass, Daniel's palm flat between my shoulder blades pressing me into the bed. 

"Fuck yes baby... you're mine, you're my slut..."

The words caught my ear and instead of shame, I was proud but it was all so confusing and I didn't want to think. I moaned into the mattress; Daniel's hand moved down my hip and around, encircling my slippery oiled cock in a firm grip that felt so good, I almost lost it. Then he shifted, changing the angle of the object in my ass; it was stroking my prostate now hitting it repeatedly. My knees went weak and I fell face first into the bed, bucking back against the orgasm that blossomed deep inside me and spread out, blazing through me all the way to my fingers and toes in waves that left me wrung out, gasping and trembling with the aftershocks as if I'd been pulled under and spit out on the shore. 

"Fuck. God."

That was probably my voice. I didn't know anymore. There was a puddle of creamy wetness under me, but I didn't care. I lay there until Daniel's hands rolled me to my back. His warm body drowned me and he fucked my mouth with his tongue as he thrust his hips against me, his steel-hard cock trapped between us. It was the closest we could get to fucking. It reminded me of high school and made me feel giddy and innocent again, just for a moment. My hands were on his head, petting the soft stubble, making him shudder violently and then he moaned into my mouth, crushing me in his grip. I felt his cock surge; he stiffened and let out a cry and then shot, flooding us both with his rivers of cum that slid and squelched between our slippery bellies. 

"Uhhh," he mumbled as he collapsed on me. He was heavy but I loved his full weight; I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into me, wrapping my legs around his. I felt his heart beat against my chest, heavy but not racing alarmingly. His breath was harsh and uneven against my ear and then slowly evened out, until finally he lifted his head and looked down at me heavy-lidded.

"That was the best non-fuck ever."

"Mmm, yeah." I laughed and then gave him a shove. "Now get off me, you weigh a ton."

In our heavy post-orgasmic stupor, we eventually managed to get the bathtub filled with what hot water we could eke out of the water heater, and I leaned back against Daniel, my arms wrapped around his knees as we relaxed in the warmth of the water and the heater in the corner. After washing off the oil and spunk, we got so drowsy neither one of us wanted to move.

"Mmm." Daniel made a contented sound and rubbed my chest. "You were so hot... I knew somewhere deep down, you're a total slut."

Heat crept into my face but I grinned, tipping my head back against his shoulder. "But only for you."

"Oh yeah?" he whispered in my ear. "But it felt good to let go, didn't it?"

"Yes," I said; and it did, even though I was still a bit embarrassed when I let myself look back on all the things I did and said, and all the images racing through my brain. "It's just been a long time since I've been on my knees for anyone."

"It suits you." He laughed, which made me blush even deeper. I was beginning to not let it paralyze me, though. I relaxed into the slightly scummy water, my toes propped on the old-fashioned knobs at the end of the claw foot tub. No shower here, just a hose with a sprayer that attached to the old fixture. This was my home, and it probably should've worried me that Daniel was quickly becoming part of it, but somehow I just couldn't bring myself to care. I just closed my eyes and let his goatee scratch my ear as I leaned back against his chest.

***


Chapter 14

"Ry, wake up, quick." 

I came out of sleep with a jolt, my heart racing, to find Daniel shaking me urgently with his eyes wide. I sat bolt upright, startled and confused.

"What is it, what's wrong?" I demanded.

"Come look, you gotta see this!"

Grabbing my hand, he pulled me to the window while my heart pounded with alarm and my sluggish brain tried to figure out what the hell was going on. The room was quite cold. A layer of ice crusted the bottom of each windowpane and I shivered at the chill, crossing my arms over my chest, while Daniel pushed the curtains aside and pointed out the window. 

"Look!"

Still bleary and confused, I looked around at the snow-covered yard, the ice-encased trees, the fields cloaked in a heavy blanket of white as far as the eye could see. I had no idea what he was pointing at.

"Look at what?" I asked blankly.

He was standing there completely naked gazing out the window with a huge smile on his face, eyes dancing like a kid at Christmas, and my words seemed to disappoint him. "The snow," he said, slightly crestfallen. "It's just... I've never seen this much, you know? Only in pictures."

"Oh, right." I eyed it up where it mounded against the tree out front. "It's about seven inches. That's a lot in one night."

"Can we go out in it?"

The last thing I wanted to do was trudge around in snow halfway to my knees and get cold and wet before I'd even had my coffee. I'd much rather pull him back under the warm blankets and wrap my lips around his shaft until it was hard and pulsing and spurting down my throat. But he looked so excited, so adorable and boyish, there was no way I could refuse him anything. I smiled resignedly as I pulled on the long underwear I'd been wearing last night before bed. 

"Sure, if that's what you want."

When we went outside, bundled in coats and boots and hats from the front closet, I read fifteen degrees off the thermometer nailed to the light pole outside the back door. It was cold as fuck but Daniel didn't seem to care, he loved it. While he tried to make snow angels in the hard, ice-crusted snow, I checked out the power lines. The electricity had finally gone off last night after we'd gotten out of the bath and dressed in long johns and socks, and were curled under a quilt on the couch watching an old John Wayne movie on one of the five channels the TV could pick up from St. Louis. The candles were already lit, flickering around us, and so when the lights and the TV went off we just stayed where we were, drinking watered-down bourbon from my grandpa's stash above the fridge and talking. 

"Shouldn't we get the driveway shoveled for when it's safe to leave?" Daniel called to me. His cheeks were bright with cold, blue eyes sparkling with the novelty of real snow. Even in a bulky parka, a blaze-orange hunting cap with earflaps on his head, he was so gorgeous it hurt.

"There's ice under all that snow," I pointed out with a shrug. "We won't be leaving today, and maybe not even tomorrow. So you might as well leave it and come inside where it's warm."

"What about the power? It should be back on soon, right?" Obviously, he wasn't ready to give up his winter wonderland adventure and go in the house. 

"This isn't like the city," I reminded him with a smile. I pointed upward where the wires connected to the house and showed him how the weight of the ice had pulled it loose. "They don't just flip a switch. The electric company has to send a truck out, which they can't in all this ice; and I can't call them to report it because the phone is dead. I checked it while you were getting ready."

"What about your cell?"

"Daniel, I lost cell phone reception almost as soon as we crossed the bridge. The nearest cell tower is two counties over."

"Oh." He thought about that for a minute, then shrugged cheerfully. "Well, it's okay. I'm going to shovel the walks, at least. I saw the shovel on the side porch. You go in the house, you look like you're freezing."

Didn't have to tell me twice. I was in the house next to the stove in a split-second, my twinge of guilt at leaving him outside to do the work alone easily assuaged by the chill in my bones. Cold weather had never been my thing. Instead, I ran water in the teakettle and put it on top of the stove. The fire had died down to coals overnight, but I'd built it up to a blaze before we went outside and the room was getting nice and warm, at least compared to outside. The pot of water I'd put on last night was still hot, so I ladled some of it in a pot and dumped it in the bathroom sink to wash up and shave. In the linen closet, I even found a couple of toothbrushes that had never been opened; after two days, I'd never been so happy to brush my teeth. 

Back in the kitchen, I dug a can of corned beef hash from the cabinet. Even though she had a perfectly good gas stove, my grandma cooked on the woodstove in the winter, and she'd taught me as well. The iron skillet I got down to fry the hash was probably as old as I was.

While the hash cooked and the coffee water heated, I stared out the window at Daniel. Last night was the first time we'd really talked. Despite everything we'd been through, we knew next to nothing about each other. We'd started out on not very friendly terms after what was supposed to be a one-night stand; and so not much information had been exchanged. He didn't even know my last name until he'd commented on the framed, signed photos of John F. and Robert Kennedy side by side on the living room wall, above a little shelf with a row of candles. That got me explaining about sharing a last name but no relation, and then talking about Catholic school and Mass and all the tedious inhibitions and guilt about sex and self-pleasure the nuns had managed to instill in us without ever directly mentioning such things. 

"And forget homosexuality... our priest never, ever talked about it or said the word... in fact now that I'm older, I'm pretty sure Father Simon was gay too." I'd had a few drinks by now so I was very chatty and probably obnoxious, but Daniel was indulgent and interested in my stories. "He was never one of those priests that people whisper about though... he was a good man and when I came out as gay he was the one who talked to my grandparents about it, made them see I was still the same person I always was... it wouldn't have turned out as well without him."

"Your grandparents never suspected, then?" Daniel had asked.

"No, I don't think so, but they probably should have." I snickered. "My Gran can hear you say shit, fuck or damn from the other side of the house, but she never caught on to the sleepovers I used to have with my friend Matt. She'd have died if she knew what we were doing all night upstairs with the stereo on."

That caught Daniel's attention. He wanted to hear all the dirty details of teen sex, all the boys I blew in backseats on country roads. There hadn't been that many, mostly Matt. All my stories until college were Matt stories. He took my virginity, took everything, and I gave it willingly, until giving hurt and I had nothing left. Wild and desperate sex, three or four orgasms in an hour, unlimited sexual energy, constantly horny and dying to steal a few minutes alone so I could suck him off. Or on my knees with my school uniform khakis pushed down around my thighs and Matt's big cock sliding into me with a delicious burning pain that made me bite holes in my bottom lip to keep from crying out.

Outside in the frozen whiteness, Daniel had managed to clear the sidewalk. He paused a moment and rested his arm on the handle of the shovel, swiping his forehead with his gloved hand. My cock started to get hard as I stared at him and remembered what my stories of underage sex led to last night, intense half-drunk groping and then my cock buried in Daniel's hot mouth while I jacked him slowly, sliding my fingers in and out of his tight ass. Cum for me. Cum in my face, his low and demanding growl, my cream dripping down his chin and the look in his rolled-back eyes when he shot in my hand and I smeared it all over his belly and wrote my name in it with my finger, and then slowly licked him clean.

"Shit, it's cold." Daniel came through the back door in a swirl of cold and snowflakes pulling his gloves off and rubbing his hands together at the stove. He was still smiling though; he hadn't stopped since he saw the snow out the window. I put my hands on his icy, red cheeks and he sighed with relief at their warmth on his skin. "That smells good, I'm starved. You were right about the ice, it's about an inch thick under the snow. We're stuck here."

Oh, what a shame. I pulled off his hat and ran my hand over his head, making him shiver with more than cold. It pleased me no end that the lightest, most innocent touch to his scalp drove him wild.

"But I don't know where I'm going to go anyway," Daniel said with a shrug. His sudden seriousness made me back off from my plans to peel his clothes off and have my way with him. He hadn't talked about what happened in St. Louis much, or where the events left him, but there was only so long we could avoid the subject. The teakettle whistled and I pulled it off the stove and made instant coffee while he finished taking off his cold weather gear next to the warmth of the fire. 

"I can't go back to Florida right now. There might be a warrant out for me by now. I wonder if even my friends on the force think I'm a cop killer."

"Surely, they know you wouldn't do that," I said softly as I handed him a coffee cup.

"Maybe. I'd like to think you're right." He sank down in my grandma's rocker with his sock-covered toes close to the stove, sipping his coffee absently. "But they're probably monitoring the phones of my friends, anyone I'm likely to get in touch with, so I can't make any calls. I was planning on heading to Chicago and getting together with Scott Wyman before things went too far. Right before I left, I mailed him the originals of all my evidence, which I didn't even give to my captain. The case was too sensitive to share within the department so I used Scott as an outside safety net. But he turned on me. He sent me straight into a fucking trap and almost got me killed."

"Is it possible he just didn't know the FBI agent was in on it?"

"It's possible. Maybe he just didn't have everything checked out properly. In that case, he's just stupid instead of a dirty cop." Daniel shrugged with a disgusted half-smile something like a sneer. "Either way he's a liability to me, and to my investigation."

"The originals you sent him, they're not the only copy of your evidence you have, is it?"

"Of course not. That would be stupid. But I don't have access to any of the copies right now, either. Somehow, I have to get to one of those copies and put them in the hands of someone who can be trusted. I just don't know who that is right now." 

He sat there with the coffee cup in his hands silently staring at the ash pan under the stove. After a second, I took the hot frying pan of hash off the stove with a potholder and put it on plates. It had to be hard on him, not knowing what to do next or who to turn to. At least being snowed in, frozen in a block of ice, gave him a chance to think.

"Hungry?"

Shaking off his thoughts, he smiled at me and took the plate I handed him. I sat down on the other rocker across the stove from him and pondered how normal it felt to just be sitting here in this kitchen eating with him, so quiet, not even a clock ticking, just the squeak of the chairs rocking slightly and the crackle of the flames in the stove. 

"So, you used to be in the military?"

If he was going to fuck me with a flashlight, I should at least know something about him. For all I knew he had a wife and kids, although it was highly unlikely, considering how much he liked my dick up his ass.

"Yeah, for awhile."

I paused, waiting for him to elaborate, but he just ate his hash.

"So... Army, Navy, Marines?" I finally asked.

"Army."

"Oh yeah? My uncle was in the Army in Viet Nam, he was a Jeep mechanic. What did you do?" 

"I was in the Army for awhile and now I'm out. That's pretty much it." He shrugged.

He'd mentioned the Gulf, he'd mentioned Special Ops. There was a story there but he wasn't sharing it, he was shutting me out. His short, stubborn answers just made my curiosity grow. "So... does that mean you can't talk about it? It's top secret?"

This time, a snort and a roll of the eyes. "You watch too many movies."

The tone was light, but I sensed him drawing away and closing off, his defenses crashing down like a iron gate. I backed off instinctively. I didn't mean it to sound like an interrogation, but it did and nobody likes that, especially not someone with something to hide. I didn't know what Daniel was hiding; before now, I hadn't even realized there was something buried in him that he didn't let anyone see, not even whomever he was closest to. Just as I couldn't be pushed, Daniel couldn't either. When confronted with a force trying to propel me, I resisted it, and so did he. I could understand. When he wanted to talk, he would.

"Yeah, I do." I grinned at him over the top of the stove. "How about a porn movie where I get to watch you fuck all your bunk mates? I could be the new recruit that you had to show the ropes."

"Ropes? I like the sound of that."

The stiff shoulders relaxed and he shot me a smile that hit me squarely in the pit of my stomach, tingling down into my cock. Ropes... "Do they have you restrained?" his voice rasped in my ear, firm hand on my back, calling me his slut, taking me to a place I never let myself go. I felt different now. I felt relieved that my secrets were out, but I was embarrassed I'd given so much of myself away. My instinct was to demand it back, to question him and make him give me answers, so I wouldn't feel like I was getting nothing in return. The nothing was terrifying. Was he laughing at me? If he was, I couldn't deal with it.

I let him take me to that place inside, the place that scared me. He didn't force me or push me, he only guided me and his confidence made my fears go away. He always had to be so strong and save the fucking world, and that had to be one hell of a burden. I couldn't ease that for him. Cooking for him, ensuring he was warm and finding him a toothbrush was all I could do. Guess that meant I cared.

Sexual sparks crackled between us, but I didn't want to push any more than I already had. There were plenty of little things that needed doing. Dishes washed, wood brought in, water refilled. I did a few of them after showing Daniel how you washed and shaved in an ice storm. When he came out, I was standing at the sink with my hands in the dishwater staring out over the fields of ice-crusted snow, blurring into the bleak gray sky until I couldn't tell one from the other.

Hands slid down my hips, a warm body pressed against my back and I leaned my head back, closing my eyes. He was warm and scrubbed, smelling of soap and mint toothpaste, and I couldn't stop a little moan from catching in my throat. Shit, nobody had ever made me moan like this. Just his touch made my dick so hard it was almost painful when it nudged the edge of the counter and I couldn't decide whether to rub against that or the hard bulge pressed against my ass through the thin clingy knit of his long johns. 




Between the Bars Pt. 03



"Thank you," he breathed in my ear.

"For what?" It was so fucking hard to think when his hands were stroking my thighs, pulling me back into him.

"Anything. Whatever." His hand covered my cock and squeezed it lightly. "This."

His hands turned me then and I grabbed his shirt, soaking it with dishwater, while he caught my hair and tilted my head back to kiss me. I pushed my tongue into his mouth and god he tasted so fucking good I never wanted to stop tasting him. Was there something addictive in his spit? Because that would explain how he made all these physical things happen to my body when he touched me and it wasn't just my cock, I felt him in the pit of my belly and the depths of my balls all the way out to my fingers and toes. His tongue lightly scraped the roof of my mouth and I sucked it deeper, it tasted so fucking sweet, sweeter than candy. Just kissing him made my head spin out of control and I couldn't think, everything around me was a blur but him, his arms around me and his hips grinding gently against mine so that his cock rubbed mine through the rough denim of my jeans.

The sharp edge of the counter digging into my ass woke me from my haze and so I slid backward until I was sitting on it next to the sink. Our mouths were still locked together as Daniel pulled me forward against him so he was standing between my thighs. I wrapped my legs around his, sliding my hand under the waistband of his long johns so I could stroke the tip of his cock with my thumb.

"Yeah, touch me," he whispered. Always happy to oblige, I wrapped my hand around his silky hard length and slid it slowly to the base and then back up again, drawing a groan from his throat.

"God... I want to be in you so bad..." he whispered with his eyes closed and the look of sheer need on his face mirrored the way I felt, that desperate burning ache for the one thing we couldn't have. He braced his feet apart while I jacked him long and slow, feeding him my tongue until I was totally lost. I was sliding off the counter and sinking to my knees on the kitchen floor when I suddenly heard the loud roar of an engine outside, getting louder as the vehicle approached over the frozen snow.

"Shit, what's that?" Daniel groaned, his fingers still threaded in my hair. I was getting up but he was unwilling to let go, still hoping it would go away.

"It's Paul." I sighed resignedly as I got to my feet. The whole universe was conspiring against me, more specifically, my dick and its satisfaction. 

"Who?" he demanded with his face scrunched up in disbelief.

"My aunt's husband, remember she was sending him over to check on us?"

"We're fine." He growled.

I grinned, adjusting my lingering erection in the confines of my jeans. "He's known for his fabulous sense of timing."

"Nice way to meet your family." Daniel looked down ruefully at his cock tenting the thin clingy knit of the long johns and we both laughed in a jumpy, frustrated kind of way. "Way to make a first impression."

A glance out the window showed Paul pulling the snowmobile alongside the barn, his red face barely visible in all the scarves and hats and earmuffs. His bright blue coat stood out sharply in the frozen whiteness.

I sat down at the table and drew the chair up so the table blocked the view of my lap. Daniel went off to the bedroom to put some jeans on just as Paul pulled a couple of white plastic grocery sacks from the little space under the seat of the snowmobile and came up the walk. Despite my request to Charlotte, he didn't knock before he walked right in and I couldn't help grinning when I thought about what his reaction would've been if we hadn't heard him drive up when we did.

***


Chapter 15

"Too much ice for the four-wheeler, had to bring the snowmobile," Paul said by way of greeting when he blustered in, dropping the grocery sacks on the counter before he went over to the stove to get warm. He glanced at me sitting at the table; normally I would've hugged him, but not in my current state of arousal. He looked slightly puzzled at the omission, but he wasn't one to ask a lot of questions. The thought of how he might take the feel of my hard dick pressing against him made me grin to myself. "So how's it going?" he asked.

"Fine." 

"Good." He nodded, pulling off his hunting cap, insulated gloves and the scarf wound around his neck. Paul was a solid, wide guy several inches shorter than me, with big hands and a round baby face. He was good looking in a teddy-bear sort of way, with thick shiny black hair and slightly sad dark eyes, quiet and cuddly, the kind of guy who could fix anything and make everything all right. "She was worried you'd be out of wood," he said. He didn't have to say her name; there was no other female to talk about. In his world, every "she" meant Charlotte.

"Holding up so far." I nodded.

Daniel came through the door just then, dressed in some jeans I'd found for him and that red-and-black plaid flannel shirt. A glance at his crotch showed me he'd managed to solve his own problem somehow; from there, my eyes skimmed over his lean body in the borrowed clothes. Something about a man in a flannel shirt made me so hot. Or maybe it wasn't all men; Paul was wearing one too when he shed his coat and he did nothing for me. No, it was just Daniel. Pictures of him taking care of his cock in the bathroom swirled in my head and I crossed my legs under the table. Fuck, he was hot. For a moment, I just sat there admiring him, and then I realized they were both kind of looking at me waiting for me to make introductions and I recovered my manners. They nodded politely when I introduced them, shook hands, exchanged a little small talk while I thought about naked fat women and dead puppies to make the ache between my legs go away.

"So where are you from, Daniel?" I heard Paul asking when I finally noticed what he was saying and I looked up, dismayed. Shit.

"Paul," I said sharply. "Don't start grilling him."

"It's okay. I'm from Tallahassee, lived there all my life until I went into the Army."

"Ry's grandparents live in Florida. What do you do for a living?"

"I'm an Internal Affairs investigator with the Tallahassee police," Daniel answered. He paused and looked at me before continuing, offering a surprising amount of information. "I was an Army Ranger for about six years, and when I finally got out five years ago, I went back home and joined the force. I worked in vice, but very bad things were happening in the division and when Internal Affairs approached me about joining them to investigate the vice squad, I agreed and I've been doing that ever since."

This was all in answer to Paul's question, but he was looking my way when he said it, giving me the answers I'd sought earlier, now that I wasn't asking. Telling me without words that asking would get me nowhere, that he would tell me what he wanted me to know in his own time, on his own terms. I could accept that. Not that I had much choice. The one little push I gave him could've been a major setback; it could've forced him even further into his shell. I should've known better. Observation was the key to this man, not questions. If I was ever going to know him, there could be no pressure from me; I could only be open to what he was ready to give. 

"Oh, a cop," Paul was saying, brightening a bit.

I knew Paul well enough to know that he wouldn't tell Daniel that he was the chief of the volunteer fire and rescue squad. I wasn't going to tell him either, because I didn't want them to get into a lengthy conversation. I wanted Paul to leave. Fidgety and impatient, I was having a hard time keeping my mind on their words, on anything but tearing Daniel's clothes off. I needed his touch, his tongue buried in my mouth, the hard weight of his naked body on me, making the whole world stop. The images in my mind tugged at me like a dream I couldn't wait to get back into and reality seemed maddeningly inconvenient, nothing but an obstacle keeping me from what I craved.

"What'd you bring?" I asked abruptly.

Stopping with his lips open just about to respond to Daniel's question about when the roads would be clear, Paul eyed me with amusement and then turned around to the grocery bags on the counter. As much as I hated being so easy to read, sometimes it was good having a face that told everything I was thinking. It made conversations so much shorter.

"That's just some stuff Charlotte sent over, in case you didn't want to come back with me. I could make two trips, take you both over to the house...?"

"No," I shook my head almost too adamantly, making Daniel snicker under his breath. Paul rolled his eyes slightly but just started pulling some stuff out of the grocery sack. "I mean... we're dry, we have food, we have plenty of wood and kerosene for the heaters, so there's no need for us to impose on you. We're fine here. Right Daniel?" I asked brightly.

"Yeah. Being cut off from the outside world is actually kind of nice. I haven't felt this relaxed in a long time." He leveled me a scorching smile that literally made me quiver where I sat and my hard-on surged demandingly in response. Fuck, Paul, won't you ever leave?

Over at the counter Paul was pulling bread, milk, eggs, some cellophane-wrapped cheese slices, butter and a package of ham lunch meat out of one of the bags. The other one contained a Thermos and a bottle of rum and a 2-liter of Diet Coke. I grinned when I saw that. My aunt was the fucking best.

"This is beef stew." He tapped the Thermos. "She thought you might like some lunch."

"How're we going to keep this stuff from spoiling without any power?" Daniel asked, puzzled. Paul stifled a snicker, and I smiled indulgently. He was so cute when he didn't have a clue. In the winter, the porch was another refrigerator; and there was a giant freezer right outside the back door if we'd needed it. You couldn't do that in Florida.

"If you take it out on the side porch, it'll be just fine, baby." 

"Oh. Yeah, that makes sense." With a grin, Daniel grabbed the grocery sack and left the room. I stared after him, watching his ass in the slightly tight jeans, and looked up startled when Paul coughed.

"This should get you through the day and night. The county is saying the roads will still be closed off tomorrow. The next day it should probably..."

"Listen Paul," I interrupted. I didn't care if I sounded rude. I was desperate, and I could see the amusement in Paul's brown eyes but for once, I didn't care if I was making an idiot of myself. "You don't have a condom in your wallet, do you?"

"My wife won't let me have one," he deadpanned. And yeah, it would've been funny, if I hadn't been in such a predicament. Daniel came back in the room then and Paul bit back a smile, politely turning his eyes from the way I shuddered at Daniel's presence beside me. Even though he didn't touch me, I felt his warmth and electricity through my clothes and it sent waves of need through me. Obviously, it showed, because Paul picked up his coat and pulled it on.

"I better get home. Charlotte wants you to come over tomorrow. I'll send the kids over to get you around noon."

I barely noticed Paul getting all the cold weather gear on and heading for the door. I was too fascinated by the sly gleam of sex in Daniel's blue eyes staring into mine; so fucking intense, they were almost electric blue. The moment I heard the door latch click shut, I launched out my chair and attacked his hot, waiting mouth. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close so I could feel his muscular shoulders flexing under my hands. His baby-fine stubble tickled my palm as I stroked his scalp, teasing his tongue with mine, feeling him trickle through my body like warm liquid and soothing my desperate, raw impatience. He was my fix. Just a taste, and it helped, but I needed more. All morning, all I could think about was dropping to my knees for him. I finally let go of his neck and slithered down his body, scratching at his clothes to get to his flesh underneath.

My fingers were sure, pulling his shirt open. His nipples were already hard little buds when my tongue circled them and I pulled lightly with my teeth and heard him breathe in sharply. His eyes were so fucking blue looking down at me and the corners of his lips were curled up in a little smile, watching me as I dragged my tongue down his sternum, swirling it in circles while I breathed in his scent. The outline of his cock strained against the denim begging me to free it, but first I had to lick his amazing abs over and over, dipping my tongue into his belly button. 

"Mmm... what are you doing..." Catching my shoulders, Daniel rotated his hips so my tongue swept his belly button. It was small and cute and I fucked it with my tongue until he moaned and tilted his head back. I grinned when I felt his skin prickle under my hands and his cock gave a twitch.

"Want me to take it out?" I breathed my hot breath on the sharply defined outline of the head. 

"Yeah," he whispered. His hands caught my hair and a chill went down my spine when he tugged at it.

"Want me to lick it?"

"Yes..." he hissed.

My tongue traced his slit through the denim, then down the underside to that little place just under the head where all his nerves knotted into a hot spot that sent him through the roof. His knees hitched and I reached up and opened the button of his fly.

His cock sprang free and brushed my cheek. He sighed with relief and grabbed my hair. I looked up into his slitted eyes as I drew the zipper down, licking each millimeter of skin all the way down his shaft. A clear, sticky drop of liquid welled up into his deeply defined slit. His cock left me breathless. I stared at the pre-cum oozing up, then trickling out on the fat, flushed head. It drew me like the sweetness of honey.

Oh god, the taste. It exploded on my tongue and I grabbed his ass so I didn't sway like a drunk. His hand fisted into my hair. I closed my eyes and wrapped my lips around the thick head of his cock, my lips catching on the flared ridge, feeling it hit the roof of my mouth where it fit so perfectly, so warm and juicy. With my tongue, I could actually feel the blood pulsing in the sensitive little veins on the underside and I made a greedy little sound as I sucked at it. 

Daniel gasped at the vibration and his other hand, the one not in my hair, came down and stroked his balls and tugged them gently. Seeing him take charge of his own pleasure was the most erotic thing I'd ever seen. Looking up, watching his face, I sucked without moving my head, just surrounding his cock with the warm pull of my mouth and my tongue, watching the way his head fell back and his jaw dropped, lips parted, eyes rolled back while he uttered low, throaty sounds that made me tingle in waves, even though my hand was nowhere near my own dick. Touching myself didn't even matter; I didn't want to be bothered with it, I could just watch him and be happy.

"Oh... god... that's...."

Usually so vocal, all Daniel could manage was a few mumbled words. I felt his cock swell and his balls tense, felt his knees give, felt his hand tighten in my hair till it was almost painful so I knew he was about to come and I began to slide my mouth up and down his shaft, swirling my tongue over the head, until suddenly he pulled back on my hair.

"Wait," he panted, face red. He grinned down at me with his mouth open and gorgeously flushed and wet, his eyes glazed. "I want you bent over this table with your ass in the air."

His hands pulled me up and then he was grabbing me, peeling my jeans down, turning me around without any conscious thought on my part. My brain seemed to be on autopilot, just watching while he did what he wanted to me. The feeling was so fucking amazing, I was shaking all over, whimpering under my breath, my cock so hard it was almost painful when he pushed me against the table. Yes, fuck me, fuck me until I can't think. Think for me. Take my thoughts away.

Hands pulled me apart and fingers stroked my crack, teasing and circling my hole while something cool and slippery dripped down. A warm tongue and hot breath licked and teased my ass. A finger slipped inside my pucker, and then another finger stretched me a little wider; all the while, he whispered to me and I was caught up on the waves of his husky voice, I couldn't think, I bent forward across the cold table and arched my back, gripping the opposite edge of the table for dear life.

"Mmm, you know I love your ass Ry... it looks so hot when I push my fingers into it, you know that? So tight... God, I want to fuck it so hard..." 

He growled with frustration and pushed a third finger inside me, a little rough, and my chest hit the table. His hands were warm probing at my hole. I writhed against the table, I arched my back against the invasion.

"You like that?" His voice was getting harsh and choppy. The warm, slippery tip of his cock danced over my ass cheeks, leaving a shining trail.

"Yeah." I was getting so close, my balls ached, yellow sparkly waves of fullness pinned me to the table while his fingers fucked me slow, delving deep. His hand pulling me up now, his warm body against my back, hand wrapping around the base of my cock while the fullness inside me turned into an explosion. His breath panted heavily in my ear and his body kept me upright while the orgasm ripped through me and my fingers and toes jerked with each spurt of cum that splattered across the table. I fell limply onto my arms, and Daniel jacked his own hot, sticky cum over my ass cheeks and my lower back.

"Holy fucking fuck," he breathed and the table shook with our giddy laughter.

****



Between the Bars Pt. 04



Chapter 16

"I'll do the dishes, you go write."

I clutched the edge of the table and pretended to swoon. "I've been waiting my whole life to hear those words." 

Daniel rolled his eyes and snickered, but in a way, it was true. I pretty much gave up on the relationship thing when Neil moved out. Before that, really. Before he ever moved in. Obviously, there was no man out there who could deal with my need for space and time to myself. They claimed they could. Maybe in the beginning, they even tried; but the accusations always came around like the same song on repeat. "You're self absorbed, you don't care about my needs, you spend more time in front of that computer than you do with me."

Neil used to get so angry with me because I'd spend evenings in my office, where he was not allowed, with the door closed instead of going to clubs with him.  "Why do you even want me here?" he asked and in the end, the answer was, I didn't. Maybe Daniel really did understand. Maybe he was the one man who could accept me the way I am but it didn't matter, did it? These few days of constant togetherness pushed us into an accelerated mode and things were moving so much faster than they normally would in the outside world. We'd never relate the same way when it was over, even if we did see each other again, and I doubted we would. It would never work, our lives were too different, we were too different. 

But the fact that he'd noticed my distraction while we were eating, the way I flipped through my notebook and stared off into space, and knew I had to write made me feel a spark of hope that there might be someone out there for me after all.

Still, I hesitated. "But what are you going to do?" I asked uncertainly. I'd been made to feel like a shit so many times for wanting to write instead of "spending quality time" with someone that the guilt still lingered.

"Oh, don't worry about me, I can always find something to do." He was already pouring hot water from the pot on the stove into the sink for dishwater and he turned his head and gave me that smile that made my heart skip. Shit, I cringed inwardly. "I'll probably read for awhile. I saw some copies of your books in the bookcase and having time to just sit and read is rare for me. Now would you go?"

Just another second of hesitation because I couldn't quite believe he meant it, but he gave me an expectant look so I grabbed the notebook off the table. God, it had been a long time since I wrote anything longhand, but I used to do it for hours and hours upstairs at my desk, the view from the window nothing but acres of fields, swirling wheat or bright green corn, changing with the seasons. So cold up here, but that was nothing new. I grinned as I dragged the kerosene heater upstairs and set it next to my desk. Grandpa would never let me have it in here because of the risk of fire but now that I could have as much heat as I wanted, I'd long ago decided I was never going to be cold again.

Wrapping a blanket around my feet, I sank down into my old desk chair. At first, I wrote facing the door because I kept glancing up every ten minutes expecting Daniel to come through the door with some excuse to interrupt me, like a cup of tea. That's what Neil used to do and I tried to be nice about it, but it always got on my nerves. If I wanted tea, I would've come downstairs to get it.

After awhile, when Daniel never made the trip upstairs, I relaxed and forgot about it. The next time I looked up with any real awareness of my surroundings the wintry late afternoon light was fading outside. The snowy fields spread in every direction, turning shades of gray and blue; the wind rattled my windowpane and I grinned as I stuffed an old sock along the base of the window to keep out the persistent draft. This old house never changed.

Downstairs, Daniel was curled up on the couch with a quilt and a book in his lap, the oil lamp casting light on the page from behind his shoulder. He smiled when I flopped down next to him and stretched.

"What time is it?"

"Getting close to five." He flipped the book upside down on the coffee table to hold his place. It was one of my earlier works, Dark Beauty. I grimaced.

"That's not a very good one."

"I'm enjoying it." Daniel lifted the edge quilt and I slid under it next to him, snuggling down into the warmth, letting my head fall on his shoulder. He smelled fucking delicious. "Get a lot of work done?" he asked, wrapping his arm around me.

"Hmmm? Oh.... yeah, I guess so." I closed my eyes halfway. I wasn't sleepy, exactly, just still half in my fantasy world, and totally relaxed and content with his warmth surrounding me. As the fireplace crackled and popped, I watched the blue flame lick at the logs through my heavy eyelids. Daniel's thigh pressed against mine under the quilt and I put my hand on it so I could feel the muscle under the smooth, worn denim.

"Whatcha writing about? A strong-minded heroine who bucks social convention and follows her heart?" he grinned.

I laughed. He'd picked up the theme to most of my books quickly.

"No, not this time."

"Well, what is it then? I'm interested."

"Oh... It's stupid really." I blushed and talked too fast, the way I did when I got embarrassed. I hated talking about my work while it was still in the drafting phase, when the idea was so ephemeral that any criticism or negativity could kill it. "Earth has finally used up nearly all its natural resources and so the scientific community sends small groups of researchers into space to explore unknown planets and do experiments and surveys, to see if they can be mined for sources of energy."

"A sci-fi story," Daniel said, smiling with satisfaction. I blushed deeper and nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, it'll never sell or anything, I'm just writing it for fun. I'll probably never finish it."

"Who cares? Tell me more, it sounds interesting."

"Okay." I took a deep breath and plowed on. "So one particular group of scientists are headed to the planet KRS12. There's a malfunction with their craft and it crashes on the planet, and everyone dies except a small boy. He's rescued by the native race on this planet and a family takes him in and raises him as one of their own. He remembers his first name is Duncan but he grows up not knowing anything of who he is, or his parents, or his own race."

"And what is the native race like? Is the planet like Earth?"

"Uh, kind of. The natives call the planet Osari. The basic makeup is like Earth, the atmosphere and all, so the Osarians are very similar to humans." Up until now, I had no idea what the planet was called. It was coming to me in flashes while I talked, like a movie in my head. "But they're different you see, because they've adapted completely to life on their planet, and Osari is mostly covered in water. What land there is, is marshy or rocky."

Daniel smiled, watching the genesis of my inspiration play on my face. I couldn't stop grinning because it was all so vivid and I was exhilarated by the clarity in my mind's eye. This didn't happen very often but when it did, it was very exciting. "And because they're surrounded by water...?"

"They've evolved with gills. They're amphibious." I looked at him and laughed with sheer amazement. "Just how the fuck do you know exactly the right question to ask anyway?"

"I dunno, it just seems obvious," he shrugged. 

He pulled his legs up and crossed them underneath him on the couch cushion, leaning forward so the quilt fell off his shoulders. The firelight was an amber glow over his face and while I gazed at him in fascination, a wave of warmth and delight washed over me, so intense and joyous it almost scared me. I caught my breath and for a moment I was literally speechless as our eyes kept meeting, irresistibly drawn together, and I watched the corners of his eyes crinkle into those little laugh lines, and the play of his smile across his kissable lips. They parted and the tip of his pink tongue peeked out to wet them and I knew he could feel my hand trembling slightly on his thigh. I didn't know whether I was happy or totally horrified at these feelings I thought were gone forever. 

Shit. Why now? Why him? Why always someone I can't have?

"So," he finally said softly. The resonance was there and I knew that he was deliberately interrupting it, deflecting it. I got the feeling this was just as scary for him as it was for me; we were both fighting it and both slowly losing. "Tell me more about Duncan. How does he fit in with the Osarians, when he can't breathe underwater?"

I pulled my hand off his leg and crossed my arms. Self-preservation, this. We could fuck, but nothing more. "Well, he knows he's different and the other boys torment him. They hold him underwater until he almost drowns and things like that. But his adoptive family has a son, Kai, and they're raised like brothers and they're best friends. Kai will never let anything happen to Duncan. He always seems to appear just in time whenever Duncan's in trouble. It's when they're almost grown that the mining ships from Earth appear." I leaned back against the couch again and shrugged. "That's all I've got so far."

"It's a very good start," Daniel nodded.

"Don't expect a share of the royalties," I joked. "Now, what about that rum and Coke? Did you put the Coke out on the porch to keep it cold?"

"Yeah... that's a good system," he said as he pushed the quilt off and went through the kitchen doorway. I stayed where I was staring at the fire, pulling the quilt up to my neck.

"It's handy on holidays. We put a lot of food out there to stay cold." I laughed at a memory. "One year, Gran had all the pies on the floor out there, and someone left the door open and the dog got in. He ate the middle out of all the pies before we caught him. It was so funny. My poor grandma, she didn't know whether to laugh or cry."

"Oh no, what did you do?" he called.

"Just cut around the dog-eaten part and ate them anyway." I laughed. City folks would've thrown the pies away and ran to the grocery store to buy more. 

A cool glass of rum and Coke slid into my hand and Daniel perched on the coffee table with his drink. I could tell he was getting restless from sitting around the house all day. He wasn't used to being trapped indoors, and even before the ice storm he'd been sitting in a car for a couple of days. The inactivity was starting to bother him. 

"So Ry, what about your parents? You never talk about them. I'm guessing this is your dad's family here, since you have their last name?"

"No, my mom's. My parents never got married. That's her and me in that picture." I pointed at a framed picture on the wall of my mom, very young, holding me as a small boy under a tree bright with golden autumn leaves. Her long strawberry hair blew across her face and she was laughing, while I stared into the camera with big serious eyes. Even at that age, I took life very seriously.

"You look like her," he decided after looking at the picture for a minute. The whole wall was covered with pictures and portraits of the whole family, including me. Ugh. I looked so dorky with my red hair and braces. "If you don't mind me asking, how did she die?"

"She's not dead either," I said with a grin. "My whole family is disappointingly alive and well. She just decided I was too much responsibility and I've lived here with my grandparents since I was about eight years old. Right now she lives on some Indian reservation out in Ronan, Montana with some guy I've never met." I shrugged.

"And your dad?"

"Joe Cochran. I don't know him all that well. He used to come around about every summer and take me to Chicago for a week, took me to the museums and theaters and libraries, I guess so I wouldn't be totally uncivilized living out in the cultural desert of Illinois. When I was at Northwestern, he was living in Chicago at the time and I'd see him once a month or so. Right now, he lives in Raleigh, North Carolina and restores old houses. I haven't talked to him in awhile. He's an all right guy, I guess."

"Well, he has an all right son." Daniel smiled at me over his shoulder and I made my heart not do that skipping thing. Oh, damn. "My dad was there, but he wasn't around. At least not much. He was one of those cops who can't do anything but live the job. My mom tried, but she was always locked in the bedroom with a headache. She has some kind of chronic migraine syndrome."

"So you were all by yourself," I said softly. 

He paced up and down the room, looking at the pictures on the wall with his arms crossed restlessly over his chest. "No, never. I had to take care of my little sisters. They're twins, five years younger. I barely remember a time when I wasn't changing their diapers, feeding them and helping them with their homework. I fixed more school lunches than my mother did, I'm sure."

"That's a lot of responsibility for a kid." It fit him though, his strength and his independence and his fierce dedication, his need to save the world. But I couldn't help but wonder who was going to save him, what it would take to mend what was broken inside him, that he would never show to anyone. 

"Yeah, I guess it is, but I managed." He sat back down on the edge of the coffee table and gulped his drink. "I wasn't like you. I had girlfriends and everything, no boys. I didn't really know why it never seemed right with any of those poor girls. I thought I was going to marry one of them when I got out of the Army."

"So you didn't know?" I asked curiously. I just couldn't reconcile doubt and uncertainty with Daniel, but I knew it was a fact, a condition of being what we are. We all have to travel a road, he'd found his somehow as we all did, gone through the same hell and come out on the other side. My heart just forced me to go through it at a much younger age than he did. "I just can't imagine not even suspecting."

"I knew. I just wouldn't let myself think about it. I thought it would go away if I just ignored it and never acted on it. If I went into the Army and did everything I was supposed to and married a nice girl and had kids, I could just be normal. You know, normal and miserable." He shrugged irritably. "And my dad would've thrown me out if he ever suspected. So, I joined the Army right after high school and got the fuck out of there as fast as I could."

I sat up, close to his knees, and just watched him, just listened. He'd never talked about himself like this before, and he might never again.

"The American public has no idea what really went on over there in the desert." He stopped, and I sat and waited but I didn't ask. I'd known enough Viet Nam vets - friends of my mother's, broken, wandering in and out of my life - to know not to ask. He'd never talk about it. I had a strong urge to wrap my arms around him and hold him but I seriously doubted he'd let me, so I stayed where I was, just waiting for him to talk when he got ready to. When he did, he started at a totally different point, skipping over that part. 

"I had a lot of sex while I was in the Army, and when I got out and came back to Tallahassee. It was a thrill and I got addicted to adrenaline over in the Gulf. I became a vice cop just like my old man and I was just like him, married to the job, only with no wife and kids to neglect. Chase bad guys all day and fuck all night and the hell with the danger in either one."

"What finally stopped you?" I asked softly, because it seemed empty and sad as hell to me. Something had changed him, something had anchored him and I was starting to see that the anchor was gone and beneath his world-saving exterior, he was lost.

"Dear old Dad got gunned down by a dealer. He should've been retired by then, but he just couldn't let go. They were about to pension him off and then he got himself killed instead." 

There was the unresolved pain of losing a father he could never get close to, but that wasn't it. What else? I said in my mind, but I didn't ask, and Daniel didn't tell me. He tipped back his drink and finished it off, and then stood up and asked me what I wanted for dinner. 

"You're going to cook?" This amused me for some reason, possibly having to do with the very strong, un-iced rum and Diet Coke I'd just polished off.

"Hey, I've been known to cook." He gave me a playful shove, knocking me over sideways on the couch. "We have ham and cheese and eggs. I can make omelets."

"On a woodstove? Fix me another drink while you're in there, why don't you. And this time, put some ice in it."

"We don't have any fucking ice." He dropped down over me and unerringly found my ticklish spot under my arms. I screamed and doubled over, clutching my ribs as I tried to roll away under his relentless tickling. 

"If you open the front door, you can just chip some off the porch rail, genius." I kicked at him, laughing hysterically. "Oh god, Daniel, stop... please stop." Thud. I hit the floor, curled into a ball and lay still, clutching my ribs. He stopped short, looking down at me in concern.

"You okay?"

"Happy now? I'm going to get you for that," I promised. 

"Mmm, I can't wait for my punishment." He pulled me up and I growled, because I couldn't stay mad when he purred into my ear in that sexy voice, pressing his body against mine. His hand ran over my back and rubbed the spot where I fell, making my cock twitch. "I'll make you feel all better."

"Okay. But I want dinner first. And don't burn my toast."

****


Chapter 17

W-E-L-S-H

"Ha! Double letter score on the W plus a double word score, that's thirty points," Daniel gloated. "Read it and weep, PhD. boy."

I didn't take the time to mention my lack of a diploma. "You can't use that word, that's not a word." 

"The hell it isn't. Since when is Welsh not a word?" he protested. The rum made it hard to spell so he was excited to have a decent word at last, after staring at the tiles blankly for several turns only to end up with words like "and."

"It's a word, but it's proper and you can't use proper words in Scrabble. It's not legal." 

"Says who?"

"The rules say no slang and no proper words, and that includes names of countries. 'Welsh' is an adjective but it still counts as proper. I'll find it for you." I dove for the rulebook and started looking it up but he grabbed the paper away from me and held it out of my reach, smirking while I grabbed for it over his shoulders. We were on the floor in front of the fireplace with the Scrabble board between us and my knee hit the board and made the tiles jump and slide into chaos. "Dammit, Daniel, the game."

"Screw the game. That's a bullshit rule if I've ever heard one."

"Only because you were losing," I grinned.

I found myself straddling his lap; the rulebook tossed aside, as he pulled me forward and wrapped his arms around my back, grinning wickedly up into my eyes. A slow burn started in my cock and it hardened against him.

"Besides, I don't follow the rules. I make the rules." His hands slipped under the hem of my shirt and skimmed my lower back. His face was shadowed by the fire behind him and I swallowed as I stared down at his eyes and the way they crinkled at the corners when he smiled like that. Through his jeans, I felt his dick nudge me and my knees weakened while my heart began to thump. 

"A law unto yourself, that must be a cop thing." 

Always a sarcastic remark when I felt at a loss to say something, or when I was tempted to say something important or, heaven forbid, tender and emotional. My other lovers hated that about me but the look in Daniel's eyes told me he had my number, that he wasn't fooled. His fingers drew light circles over my back up to my shoulder blades and I broke out into a sudden sweat, squirming so that my cotton shirt brushed against my sensitive nipples.





Between the Bars Pt. 04



"Yeah, it is," Daniel whispered, as he watched me. His lips were luscious and so very addictive and I groaned as I dropped my head down to flick my tongue over them. "But there are a lot better games we can play."

"Cops and bad guys?" I grinned against his mouth, rubbing it with the tip of my tongue, wetting his lips. His breath smelled of rum and it drew me like a magnet, irresistible, warm and sweet when he laughed softly. His hands were on my hips now and I ground against him in short little circles that bumped our hips together until I couldn't think, I didn't want to think. I captured his mouth and pushed my tongue past his sweet lips. His tongue teased mine and he sucked lightly on my bottom lip, nibbling it with the edge of his teeth when he pulled back to trail kisses over my jaw.

"I wanna fuck you like this. When we get a condom - I'll walk ten miles through the snow if I fucking have to - I have to fuck you like this," he growled in my ear and I went weak, clutching his neck for dear life. He pushed his hips up under mine and it felt so fucking good, oh god. He was blazing hot from the fire. My cock screamed for relief inside my jeans, the crotch was unbearably tight, digging into my tender flesh and I was going to explode with him thrusting his cock against me through our clothes. "I want you to ride me just like this... I want to be so deep inside you, all the way inside that tight ass while you ride me so hard we both die. Will you ride me, Rylan?"

"Yeah... Oh god, yeah." I swiveled my hips down against him and whimpered, biting my bottom lip in my desperation. He gripped my thighs while the hard length of his cock collided with my balls and it almost hurt even while it sent jolts through my brain and I couldn't fucking breathe. The frustration was a sharp intense ache inside me and I was so empty, I needed the one thing we couldn't have and I was going to go off like a rocket if he kept on like this. "Daniel, oh god, oh god, stop, stop..."

"Mmm." He groaned as I pulled away and dropped onto the floor in a panting heap. I couldn't stop staring at his lips, dark, wet and swollen with my kisses. I wanted to tear his clothes off. I rose to my hands and knees and slowly crawled toward him while he stared at me dizzily, eyes wide as if he'd never seen me before. His chest heaved just as breathlessly as mine did and it made me grin knowing I affected him that way.

"You know, Rylan, it might do you some good to break the rules once in awhile," he told me with his wicked smile. He leaned back on his elbow and watched me lazily as I moved toward him. "You play it way too safe, you know that?"

I faltered but I didn't want him to see how his words struck me. He needed someone like himself, reckless and addicted to danger, not somebody boring and cautious like me. As soon as we got out of the farmhouse and back into the real world, and all this was over, this would be obvious. It would never work. We both knew that. Or at least, I was painfully aware of it, and being reminded right at this moment knocked the wind out my sails. Why did he have to say that now?

My uncertainty had stopped me in my tracks on my hands and knees, facing the fireplace, Daniel watching me with slightly puzzled amusement. It wasn't his fault I felt this way. I would never force my way into a place in his life. When the time came, I would step aside, so he would never have to find a polite way to get rid of me without hurting my feelings.

Before I knew what was happening, he'd flipped me over on my back, straddling my hips and pinning my wrists above my head with one hand. My heart was suddenly pounding and a cold anxious sweat broke over me and I had to get away now. I fought wildly to break free but he was strong, holding me down, his face a leering mask staring down at me, looking strange and even threatening in the dim firelight. His heavy body was a weight on my chest that made me start to gasp for air while panic flooded me in an ice-cold wave.

"Fuck! Daniel, what're you... get off me."

"Relax, just let go. I'm not going to..."

"No. I'm serious, dammit, let me go." I twisted under him desperately; the catch in my voice wiped away his smile, and when he looked down at my face and saw what was in my eyes, Daniel let go and moved off me immediately. The threatening air was gone and even though my heart still thumped, the panic slowly receded, reason returned and I felt bad because I knew he would never hurt me. The concern and confusion on his face made me feel even worse.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that." I drew a long breath and let it out slowly to even out my breathing, while the splinters of ice thawed in my blood.

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed like that. I didn't mean to scare you."

I cringed. God, that made me sound like such a pussy. "It wasn't you, you didn't do anything wrong. My adrenaline kicked in and I couldn't control it for a second. It used to happen to me sometimes... I'm fine now." I nodded to reassure him and reached behind me to grab the rest of my rum and Coke, gulping it down. Daniel still looked doubtful and his blue eyes watched me closely as my breathing returned to normal and the visible signs of my panic went away. As a cop, he was very attuned to those bodily reactions. Suddenly, he jumped to his feet.

"Be right back."

The strong shot of rum had restored the edge of my buzz, and I didn't think much about where he might have gone. The choices were limited; he was either in the bathroom or getting more drinks. I stared at the fire. What is wrong with me? That hadn't happened to me in years; I'd almost forgotten what a panic attack felt like, and now I remembered just how awful they were. My logical, thinking brain knew without question that Daniel would never hurt me but something about being pinned by him had transcended that knowledge and driven itself straight into my unconscious. Dammit. Now he was going to see just what a loser I am...

"Here."

Something hit the floor in front of me with a loud, metallic thump. 

"I want you to have those."

With a questioning glance up at Daniel, I poked at the handcuffs with one finger. They were vaguely unpleasant to me, like a reptile dropped in my lap.

"And do what with them?" I asked dubiously.

"Whatever you want. Use them on me, or put them away somewhere and never touch them again." He stared down at me with his eyes dark and shadowed, face a bit flushed from the rum but he was very serious. "I shouldn't have cuffed you like I did in the motel, that was wrong. So I just want you to have those so you'll know I won't do it again."

I started to smile automatically and tell him that wasn't necessary, that I was over that, but the look in his eyes told me how important this was to him. He wasn't going to express this in words. This was a trust thing with him; he wanted my trust, and so he was giving up his means to control me. The handcuffs were more of a symbol than anything else; they might not mean that much to me but his cop paraphernalia was very important to him. Giving up a piece of that was a big gesture. It meant more than just handing over his cuffs and telling me I could use them however I wanted... it meant that to earn my trust, he was putting that trust in me.

Nodding slowly, I picked up the cold metal handcuffs. I held them in my hands and felt their weight. They'd hurt my wrists and rendered me helpless. That trapped, out-of-control feeling scared the hell out of me. Back in the motel, there'd been no guarantee Daniel wouldn't hurt me. I was sure of him now, but there was always that little whisper of doubt in the back of my mind, those persistent questions that never let me entirely trust someone.

Daniel still hovered over me, watching me in the dim firelight. Beyond its warm circle, the room was dark and chilly. I waited to see what he would do; finally, he dropped to his knees facing me and leaned in close, nuzzling my neck. He felt so good against me and we fit together perfectly; I closed my eyes and lost myself in his smell but at the same time I felt a stab in my gut because I knew it would all be over very soon. I should've been tired of him by now, trapped alone with him in this small, cold house with nowhere to go; we should've been short-tempered and irritable, sick of the sound of each others' voices. With most people, it took very little time before I was ready for them to go away and I was relieved when they were gone. But I wasn't tired of him. I wanted more time.

"How do you want me?" he whispered in my ear.

When I drew back, puzzled, I saw that he'd dropped his arms on my lap wrists-up and he looked straight into my eyes. He smiled a bit when the realization of what he was offering appeared on my face, but it was a patient smile and his trust overwhelmed me. When he leaned in and brushed his lips over mine I was trembling and he pressed his face to my neck again, leaving his hands in my lap, waiting. 

"Just try it," he said so softly I almost couldn't hear, and then changed his tone to a sexy murmur in my ear. "Want me to get naked?"

I nodded, forcing confidence. "Yeah... get naked and bring one of those chairs over here." 

I pointed at the dining room chairs around the table behind us, close to the kitchen door, and watched him go get it. He was making this easy for me. He'd been making things easy for me since the very first night. I watched him bring the chair close to the fire; he pinned his eyes on mine, while he slowly unbuttoned his flannel shirt, dropping it on the floor. He lifted his arms and peeled off his t-shirt and the flickering light from the flames played over his flexing stomach and his chest and his nipples that were stiff and flushed from the chill in the air, his golden flesh, lean and smooth like a lion's warm rippling hide.

He was so fucking beautiful and my heart started to thump in my chest. Gratitude washed over me for everything he had done for me, the way he understood me. Some other emotion that I didn't want to think about too closely started to leak from some locked-up place inside me and I had to swallow hard and clench my fists at my sides to fight the sudden weakness in my knees.

"Pants too?" he drawled, giving me a sexy smirk.

"I said naked, didn't I?"

I smirked back at him and crossed my arms while I hungrily watched him unbutton his too-tight jeans and push them over his naked hips. The way he moved was hypnotic, even when he lost his balance a little kicking the jeans off his legs and he stumbled and caught the edge of the couch. His cock bobbed and I stared at it as he hopped around on one leg and finally got the jeans off, kicking them to the side, and then he straightened completely naked and beautiful in the firelight. He lifted his arms and stood still while I devoured the sight of him, all that muscle and the light arrow of silky hair from his belly button down to his pubic hair curling around the base of his cock, which was hard and gorgeous, the thick flared head flushed a deep pink color that made me drool.

"Now what?" 

"Um." I closed my mouth and pulled myself back into the role, pointing at the chair. "Uh, sit down with your hands behind your back. Is that okay, to put your hands in back?"

He did what I said but I could tell he was trying not to smile at my hesitation. "Don't ask, just do it."

I took the handcuffs in my shaking fingers and opened them awkwardly, moving around behind him. His arms were around the back of the chair and his wrists were already together, waiting, and I closed the metal around his wrists as gently as I could, not handcuffing him to the chair so he had freedom to move. It turned me on to see him restrained and at my mercy but at the same time, nervous butterflies flipped in my stomach.

"I don't want to hurt you though..." 

"Come around here," he said quietly.

The serious note in his voice startled me but I did as he said, leaving him still cuffed. When I was standing in front of the chair, he looked me in the eyes and smiled. He looked so fucking hot I had a hard time concentrating on what he was saying. "You're not going to hurt me. I won't let you, okay? Handcuffs don't hurt unless you struggle, and I'm not fighting you. Besides, I like it."

"You don't seem like the leather type to me," I grinned slightly.

"It's not something I need to get off, but it can be fun." He gave me that heart-stopping smile, the one that had me under arrest even when he was the one cuffed. "Now. I'm yours, what're you going to do with me?"

****


Chapter 18

All I could do was stare at him sitting there naked with his hands bound behind him; I couldn't think and the fuzziness in my brain was soft and comforting, like floating in a fog. He was so far out of my reach. And yet, when I came back to earth he was there, my own fallen angel just looking up at me with his deep blue eyes, waiting to be touched, and my heart pounded along with the aching pulse of my cock trapped in my jeans.

"What am I going to do?" I grinned and moved behind the chair, running my fingertip down the back of his neck. It thrilled me when he shivered. "I'm not sure yet..."

I wondered what he wanted me to do, but he'd already told me not to ask, just do it. He'd put the reins in my hands and I wanted to be good at this; I wanted to please him. I focused and then I knew exactly what to do. I already knew what he liked most. I was going to tease him and excite him and make him shake with need before he came so hard his head exploded. 

I felt more confident as I trailed my finger Daniel's neck and over the back of his head, where I knew he was so erotically charged. He drew in a short, surprised breath, biting his lip; I laughed and brushed my teeth over the outer edge of his ear. Over his shoulder, I could see the fat head of his cock start to darken even more and a tiny bead of moisture welled up in his slit. Grinning even wider, I leaned against his back so he could feel the hard bulge of my dick pressing against him through my clothes and know what he did to me.

"I could push you to your knees and make you suck me, then cum all over your face..." Just thinking of it sent a shiver down my spine. "Mmm, you'd look so pretty with my cream dripping down your chin." I was stroking his head with my fingertips while I rubbed my cock against his shoulder blades just above the back of the chair. I would have to unbutton my jeans soon because the pressure was getting uncomfortable. Daniel sat very still, but his breathing was getting heavy and uneven, and I was so turned on I had to stop and take a few deep breaths to settle down and focus.

"Or I could bend you over the chair and spank your ass till it's all red and burning. You like that." I bent closer to his ear and growled into it. "That ass of yours is just made to be spanked, you know that? That what you want me to do?"

"Yeah," he breathed, squirming in the chair. My heart thumped heavily against my ribcage and I dragged myself away from him, leaving him panting harshly.

"But you don't get to decide," I whispered with an evil grin. "I do."

Over his shoulder, Daniel lifted his eyebrow at me, slightly impressed. He didn't think I could pull it off. But the corners of his mouth curled up in a grin and I could see he approved, and a warm feeling radiated all through my body. He was bound and helpless, I had control, but this wasn't about me. This was about him and what got him off and I was going to make him cum so hard that afterward he'd be limp and drained.

Slowly, I circled around the chair so I was standing in front of him, facing him with my back to the crackling flames. He tilted his chin up and looked at me and I swallowed hard. Seeing him like this rendered me speechless. When I finally recovered my voice, it was harsh and raspy, not cool and confident like I wanted it to be. 

I ran my hand over the obvious bulge in the crotch of my jeans. His eyes dropped and he watched as I rubbed the hard ridge of my cock and traced the flare of the head. It felt so good but I didn't take my eyes off him. The firelight made him glow in shades of gold and amber and bronze, a gilded sculpture. He was so hard, and it was all for me.

"Remember that little show you put on for me in the shower? Where you stroked your cock for me, and tugged on your balls and jerked yourself while I watched.... But I couldn't touch you because you had me cuffed to the handicap assistance bar?" 

He smirked, eyes still on my hands, which were now slowly unbuttoning my jeans. "I remember."

"Yeah... You liked that, didn't you? You liked making me watch you cum. You liked that there was nothing I could do but sit and stare. Didn't you?"

"Mmmhmm. I really liked how you looked at the ceiling and pretended not to watch," he grinned. 

"I was watching," I told him. "I watched you spurt on the shower curtain. I wanted to be on my knees catching it in my mouth, licking all the water off your skin. And now I'm going to show you what I did in the bathroom after you fell asleep."

In some distant way, I couldn't believe I was doing this but it didn't even bother me. I was in another place in my head where shame and embarrassment couldn't intrude. The look in Daniel's eyes sent me there and I was so focused on his need that nothing else seemed to matter. Quickly, I stripped down to naked skin. I barely felt the chill of the room or heat of the fire against my back. He watched me with burning eyes as I wrapped my hand around my shaft and stroked it slowly. I imagined it was his hand on me at the same time I stared at him, watching the way his breath quickened and the little drop of liquid dripped from the tip of his cock and glistened down his shaft. There was a shiny pink spot just under the ridge of his fully hard, swollen head that I couldn't stop staring at. I wanted to lick it and suck it and I stroked myself harder, my eyes rolling back a bit as I struggled to keep them open. I wanted to see him, wanted to know he was watching me.

The desperation of the night in the motel seized me. He needed to see what he did to me. I dropped to my knees, jerking myself more slowly. My face, I knew, was red and flushed and damp the way it was in the mirror that night. Daniel licked his lips as he stared at me naked on my knees. My cock surged in my hand and I ran my thumb over the tip, spreading the sticky pre-cum all over the head while I spread my legs and lifted my knees up so he could see better. Two bright spots of red were spreading over his cheeks and his eyes started to glaze over with lust as he stared at me. 

I grinned through my own sexual haze. "You like that? While you were sleeping I was locked in the bathroom doing this... because watching you got me so hot..."

"I knew you were jerking off," he said harshly.

"Mmmhmm." The tingling pressure grew in my balls and I groaned, sliding my other hand down to gently squeeze them. "Oh shit," I whispered. Gasping for breath, I pushed myself back so my back was against the couch and I spread my legs wide, propping my ankle on the coffee table just like I'd put it on the side of the bathtub. I'd never been this open and exposed to someone and it excited me so much I almost came right then and there. But I slowed down and got a grip on myself because it wasn't time yet. 

"Yeah, and I wet my fingers," panting, I slid my first two fingers in my mouth and sucked them until they were wet. Daniel's eyes got very wide and his cock was dripping while he squirmed restlessly in the chair. "Got them nice and wet and then..."

I reached down and touched my hole. It tingled and I felt electricity race through me and settle in my gut. With a whimper, I slid my finger inside and across the room, Daniel let out a groan. It was hard to keep looking at him, hard to hold back, but I squeezed my cock hard just under the head and the intensity faded just a little so that I was able to speak again, in a harsh raspy voice that sounded nothing like me.




Between the Bars Pt. 04



"Oh god Daniel. It feels so tight... I want you to be in there." What it would be like on my knees with him behind me... slowly pushing into me and my muscles wrapping around his hard shaft filling me up, owning me, possessing me. He was panting in hard jerks and so was I now, eyes slitted to watch him totally at my mercy, unable to touch his cock and give himself the pleasure and relief he needed. 

For a reason I didn't understand, I suddenly stopped caring about my own orgasm. I got to my knees and crawled over to him with my cock aching. I crawled between his legs and spread his knees with my hands. His head went back and he groaned deep in his throat when I wrapped my hand around his throbbing shaft. I ducked my head and closed my eyes as I gently sucked his balls into my mouth, first one then the other.

"Rylan... please..." He was panting hard and his hips swiveled against my hand. "Let me out of the cuffs, I want to touch your hair..."

"Uh-uh." I grunted and shook my head with my mouth full of his sack and he melted back whimpering. My mind was blanking again, drifting on his scent and the taste of him and the way his cock pulsed in my hand. I drew away and climbed onto his lap straddling him with my cock against his belly and his next to it. He tilted his head back and gazed up at me with this indescribable look of trust and need and I wrapped my arm around his neck and licked his open lips. 

"Soon... we'll be out of here soon and I'll get to feel you in me..."

He whispered 'Oh god' or something and I started to ride him. I thrust my hips into him and the chair thumped on the floor and our cocks slid together between our stomachs; it was almost like fucking and Daniel moaned deep in his throat and it sounded so beautiful I shivered all over. The tingle in my balls deepened into a burning fire that raced up my spine. I wrapped my hand around his cock and stroked it. He bucked his hips and I felt his abs tighten and his back arch; he shot in my hand, splattering his stomach with his warm cum. Watching it spurt out pushed me over the edge and I finally gave into the orgasm licking at my insides. Yellow bursts of light exploded behind my eyes and I came so hard that for a moment, I actually felt dizzy from the pleasure and I collapsed on Daniel's heaving chest and we stayed locked together limp and slick with sweat and juices until our breathing finally slowed. 

Reaching back, I unlocked the cuffs and Daniel brought his hands around and rubbed his wrists, opening and closing his hands to get the feeling back into his fingertips. I got off his lap, bending to kiss him before I pulled him to his feet. After a quick, chilly cleanup, we were under the layers of warm covers in bed with the heater on. Daniel wrapped his warm body around me and I drifted mindlessly, hovering between sleep and oblivion.

"You did great," he said in my ear. He sounded far away and it took a second for me to come back from wherever I was drifting. "I'm proud of you."

The praise made me feel warm and happy, like a puppy being petted. "You didn't think I could do it, did you?"

"I knew you could. I just didn't think you knew it." He stroked my arm with his warm hand and then reached behind him to grab something. He hung the handcuffs on the bedpost next to my head. My breath caught in my throat and I stiffened, knowing exactly what he wanted, even though he didn't say it.

The silence hung thick between us. The tightening in my crotch confused me and I lay still on my side with my back to him.

"Talk to me," he said in a low, commanding voice, right next to my ear. 

"Uh, about what?" 

"You need to tell me who hurt you. We can't get past it until you do."

My stomach sank. "Oh." I stopped, hoping he would let me off the hook, but he peeped around at my face with his eyebrow lifted expectantly and I sighed. Fuck.

"Okay," I said reluctantly. "Just remember you asked. You remember me telling you about Matt, right?"

He nodded and I rolled to my back and stared up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, so Matt was my first love. He told me he loved me too and I believed him because when he fucked me, it felt like love. Anyway. We talked about going away to school together, somewhere that we could be open about who we were and our relationship. It was difficult to hide it. We were going to move to Champaign and go to the U of I, but I got a scholarship to Northwestern and as much as I wanted to be with Matt, Northwestern has an outstanding English program. Getting a scholarship there was a big deal and I couldn't disappoint my grandparents. Evanston and Champaign weren't that far away, we promised we'd visit each other.

"We were pretty busy the first few months of school and didn't see each other. I didn't exactly plunge into the gay scene in Chicago but I did explore it a little bit. I'm sure you know how exciting it is when you first come out and see you're not all alone in the world after all. It was an especially intense time for me, being from a small town, and never having known anyone openly gay. But I didn't fuck anybody else because Matt was the only one I wanted. I wrote him all these passionate letters; he didn't answer most of them, but I didn't expect him to; that just wasn't his style.

"I finally went to see him. I wanted to share all my new experiences with him; I wanted us to go to gay clubs where we could kiss and dance and everything else we'd never gotten to do in public. But when I got there, I saw that Matt wasn't going in the direction I was. He was living a different life. He'd pledged a frat and was living in the frat house; so instead, we ended up going to frat parties. I was disappointed but it was okay because we were still together."

Stopping, I took a deep breath. Daniel was lying beside me with his arm folded over my chest, his chin resting on it, his eyes huge and bottomless so close to mine. I glanced at him and he nodded encouragingly. He could tell this was hard for me.

"Okay." I swallowed, stalling. "So, we went to this frat party with some of his buddies. It was something new and I was having a pretty good time even if it wasn't exactly where I wanted to be. I had a lot to drink and smoked a little pot, so that I was feeling pretty uninhibited. I probably didn't even know how wasted I was. I'm not even sure how we got back to the frat house, but I ended up in Matt's room with him and about four of his friends. We... uh... got to talking and I'm not sure how it happened... I was drunk, too drunk to know what was going on at first, and then when I finally understood I couldn't stop them..."

Daniel drew in a sharp breath and his eyes narrowed. He stared at me, but I flushed and couldn't continue because my throat was so tight. Finally, he reached up and gently brushed my hair back from my eyes.

"So these frat boys, they..."

"Yeah," I interrupted before he could say it. 

"And Matt? What did he do?" Daniel asked. He didn't sound angry or upset, just calm and encouraging, reminding me that he was a detective after all. 

"Actually... I'm not sure. I was so wasted, Daniel. Everything got all mixed up and I just... I think he just kind of watched, he didn't do anything to me but he didn't try to stop it either."

I closed my eyes, shutting out the details. Shutting out the memory of Matt's eyes, and his face that night just looking at me, just watching while I was helpless and in pain. I'd never told anyone exactly what happened that night and I didn't plan to now. I'd finished with it years ago, locked it away, filing it for future reference when I might need it some day, the day I wrote a "serious" work. Someday, I would use all that pain to create something and nobody could take that away. Until then, it was mine alone.

"What happened afterward?" he asked softly. 

"I dunno, I guess I passed out. I woke up while it was still dark. I was on the floor and Matt and one other boy were asleep in the room. I grabbed what I could find of my stuff in the dark and left."

"Did you call the cops?" There was a sad note in his voice; he knew what my answer would be.

"No. What would they have done? I was drunk... I was high... the cops wouldn't have believed a little gay boy anyway. I just got the fuck out of there."

"Yeah," he said simply. "Most rapes don't get reported. The victims are too ashamed to tell anyone."

"I'm not a victim. I was stupid. I shouldn't have been there; I shouldn't have let myself get in that situation. I should've known better."

"It wasn't your fault, Rylan. You were with the man you loved, you had no way to know he'd violate you and betray your trust like that. You thought you were safe."

Safe. His words struck me like a punch in the gut, and for a split-second, everything I'd kept locked up inside threatened to burst. Gasping, I instinctively curled into a ball and Daniel was there, holding me and whispering in my ear that it was okay, that nobody would hurt me again, all the things I needed to hear then but I didn't because I never told anyone. Wrapped in his arms I let him take all that old pain away and when it was finally gone I felt wrung out and empty and totally clearheaded. I looked up into his blue eyes and I saw nothing but a refuge there. Daniel was my safe haven. I wouldn't let myself think about later, when this would all end. I was safe with him. Closing my eyes, I let him take my arms - in front of me, not behind - and there was nothing but peace when the metal closed around my wrists and the lock clicked.


Chapter 19

The low sheet of gray was finally gone from the sky, leaving it high and thin and shockingly blue. The fields stretched in every direction from the kitchen windows, endless white expanses of glittering unbroken nothingness. The sun reflecting off the whiteness made tears sting my eyes. Three miles away across the southwest field, a plume of smoke rose from the nearest neighbor's chimney, but nothing moved. I felt like Daniel and I were the only two people in the world, frozen in this spot like insects in amber; and instead of lonely or restless, I didn't think I'd ever been more content. 

The fire popped in the fireplace behind me and I glanced through the kitchen door over my shoulder at Daniel on the couch next to the fire. He'd been reading under a blanket and he'd dozed off. His face was half-hidden, snuggled into the quilt, and his sides rose and fell with the slow rhythm of his breathing. I smiled because he looked so fucking adorable. Yeah, he was content too. He'd stopped pacing around like an animal in a cage. When he got out of bed and spotted me at the table with my notebook early this morning, he came up behind me and rubbed my shoulders before bending down to kiss me, and when we parted we'd stared into each others' eyes until I finally had to look away, heat rising in my face.

That odd butterfly feeling I'd had in my belly then was back now, as I gazed at him snoozing under my grandma's quilt. Shit. My heart flipped and I groaned to myself because I was in serious trouble.

I'd started writing almost as soon as I woke up and I'd been scribbling away pretty intently until now. The words flowed more smoothly than my hand could keep up with, having to scrawl it longhand. It had been a long time since I'd been in the zone like this. I found it odd that Daniel's presence, and everything that happened last night, didn't distract me. Instead, it seemed to make me more focused than I'd ever been before. 

Usually when writing, I got up and wandered around, played computer games, flipped through channels on the TV, all the electronic distractions I'd set up for myself. I didn't have any of that here and everything was so much simpler; and instead of annoying me, having Daniel here put me at ease. I'd never felt this all-encompassing desire to be with someone. My eyes darted to the window where an icicle was forming drop by drop on the eaves outside and my heart sank. The ice was melting and time was running out. Paradise lost.

"What you looking at?" Daniel's rough, sleepy voice cut into my thoughts. He blinked at me, smiling sleepily and rubbing his eyes with his palms, and my dick got hard. I was suddenly afraid he could read exactly what I was thinking so I ran my hand through my hair to cover my nervousness.

"Damn, I need a shower." I shuddered when I realized how greasy my hair was. Sponge baths weren't cutting it anymore. Daniel could run a damp cloth over the soft stubble on his head but I needed shampoo.

"A shower would be nice, then I could stick my tongue up your ass." 

He watched me, his grin getting wider as my face heated. He loved making me blush.

"Why are you getting red, Rylan? You liked it when I talked dirty last night," he taunted me softly. Everything that happened last night washed over me in a wave and I felt my stomach drop like I was on a roller coaster. Thrilling but somewhat nauseating. 

"Last night was different," I said when my throat finally let me speak. I stared down at the table, untwisting the end of the wire spiral of my notebook.

"Yeah, it was. Last night was something entirely different." His self-satisfied grin softened and he lifted the quilt and patted the hollow next to him, in the curve of his body. I'd never seen anything so inviting. "Come here."

I got up and went over to him, bracing my hands on the back of the couch. He pulled me down next to him and wrapped his warm arms around me, and I buried my face in his neck and closed my eyes. My cheeks and my lips burned a bit, scraped raw from his stubble, constant skin on skin friction last night. When I shivered, he mistook it for cold and pulled the quilt over my shoulders.

Daniel drew a long breath and I froze, waiting. I was afraid he was going to start talking about last night and I didn't want to talk about it. There were too many things I couldn't put into words and I didn't want to try, not now and maybe not ever. To my relief, he just closed his eyes and didn't speak.

When the lock clicked around my wrists last night, my thoughts stopped. It was the first time in my life my inner narration was silent and I just let myself be in the moment, without telling it to myself in my head so I could understand it and remember it later. Like a dream, the images were hazy and disconnected, awash in emotions.

Hands on me, lips, hot skin everywhere, flesh on flesh, his weight pressing me down keeping me safe. Overwhelming peace, total security. My hands bound and my mind quiet, relief, no struggle. The kind of surrender I feared more than anything in the world until Daniel showed me what trust meant. He showed me what it meant to be safe and in return, I turned myself inside out for him. Somehow he knew what I secretly needed, what I could never admit even to myself let alone to him; I didn't know how, but he knew. He knew. Pillow cool against my face and my chest, fingers wrapped around the bed frame's iron bars, wrists bound together with a short chain; my eyes closed while Daniel's hand landed sharp stinging blows on my naked ass cheeks. His voice in my ear, telling me.

It's not wrong to want this. It doesn't mean you're weak. It doesn't mean you liked being hurt.

His telling it to me made it true. My secrets climbed out of the box in which they were locked and Daniel took the fear and the shame away. He was the light in my darkness.

He opened an eye and looked at me when I squirmed and swallowed. There was still shame there because I'd never opened myself like that before, not even with Matt. I was wide open and if he mocked me or used my secrets against me, I had no defense. He could destroy me like Godzilla crushed Tokyo and it fucking terrified me.

"You okay?" he asked softly. He squeezed me and the anxious tightness left my chest. Safe here.

I nodded. He wouldn't do that to me. He'd promised me. He'd promised me that when the cuffs came off, we didn't visit that place again. Only when I wanted to. Only when I asked for it.

When the cuffs were on, I didn't have to ask for anything. 

"We got any food left? I'm getting hungry." His belly rumbled under my hand for emphasis and we both laughed. I sat up, reluctantly leaving the warm cocoon of the quilt, muttering something about lunch even though I had no idea what time it was. Clocks didn't matter anyway. There was no schedule to follow and nowhere we had to be; so, when tummies growled, it was time to eat.

Movement caught my eye in the blinding whiteness outside the window, in the field past the corner of the barn. Two four-wheeled ATV's approached, one of them trailing a big yellow raft-type inner tube with black handles tied on with yellow nylon rope. The riders were Jeremy and Madison, Paul and Charlotte's two kids, my cousins. Watching them park the ATV's and tromp up to the house, I clutched the edge of the counter with the realization that if Paul let them drive the four-wheelers over the frozen fields, then the roads would very soon be passable for a car and that meant we'd be leaving soon. It also meant condoms.

They burst in the back door in a swirl of cold. Maddie threw her arms around me in a snowy bear hug while Jeremy headed straight to the stove's warmth. He was fifteen and didn't have much to say, like his father. Maddie was the outgoing one. She grinned up at me, her freckled cheeks red from the cold. In the puffy parka and layers of scarves and mittens, she still looked like a little girl, but she was getting so grown up. She was almost fourteen now and according to her mother, already the battles over low-slung jeans and belly-baring tops had begun.

"Mom sent us over to get you," Jeremy announced after we all greeted each other in our usual low-key manner. "She said bring your stuff."

"You've got power, then?" I asked. Daniel appeared in the doorway and my eyes automatically lifted to him. When he walked into a room, he was the center of it. The kids stared at him and he smiled, looking totally at ease while Jeremy answered my question.

"Yeah. Mom figured you'd be ready for a hot shower."

"Sounds great," Daniel grinned at me from under his lashes and I fought the heat in my cheeks. I didn't want the kids to see me blushing, but Maddie's eyes were just as sharp as her mother's and Jeremy hadn't missed a trick since he was born. He looked between us skeptically, while Maddie was busy pulling off her coat.

"You can sleep downstairs in the guest room," Maddie piped up. 

Daniel and I exchanged a glance. Jeremy continued to stare at Daniel while I introduced them. 

"My dad says you're a cop."

"Yeah, I'm a detective down in Florida," Daniel nodded. Not even suspicious Jeremy could resist that smile and he grinned back.

"Can I see your badge?"

"Jeremy," I protested but Daniel said of course and went to go get it from his bag, which he'd stashed in the dining room. Leaving the kids in the kitchen, I went back to the bedroom and got what little we had together. I saw him sliding his gun out of the bottom of the bag when I walked back in carrying some dirty clothes I wanted to throw in Charlotte's washer.

"I'll leave this here," he said quietly and I nodded. I knew he didn't feel safe without his gun, so I appreciated him not bringing it into my family's home. We found a safe place for it in the bookcase.

The kids inspected his detective's shield while I put everything in a grocery bag. There wasn't much. It was still down in the teens according to the thermometer, so Daniel and I piled on layers of sweaters and warm socks and all the other cold weather gear from the closet. My grandpa's clothes fit Daniel, so he had plenty to wear. My grandparents left all their coats and things here, since they didn't need them in Florida. Heading through the door, I enviously imagined them sipping mimosas in the warm Sarasota sun while I froze my balls off.




Between the Bars Pt. 04



I huddled on the back of the ATV behind Madison. It made her so happy when I let her drive; she was a good driver, and I remembered being fourteen and desperate to be treated as a grown up. Daniel eyed up the inflatable raft and asked if he could ride on it.

"But it's five miles," I protested. "It's dangerous, you could be killed."

He shot me a brilliant grin, making my heart skip. His eyes were exactly the same shade of blue as the sky behind him. I forgot about the kids, watching with interest, and stared at him with my mouth slightly open. God, he was fucking beautiful.

"If an inner tube can do what drug dealers, crooked cops and Iraqi soldiers with machine guns haven't managed yet, then my number is up."

I had to laugh, shaking my head. Dammit. He had a point.

The wind was cold in my face as we sped across the frozen field, following the set of tracks made on the way over. Pulled behind Jeremy's four-wheeler, the raft bounced over bumps and flew into the air while Daniel clutched the handles with snow flying in his face, whooping with glee. I grinned. He looked like a kid, face flushed with the cold, laughing, wild and daring and completely in love with life. At first, I'd hated him for dragging me kicking and screaming out of my neat, quiet little life but now when I thought about going back without him my heart seemed to sink; but I put it out of my mind for now... Plenty of time to think of that later. 

Finally, we pulled up into Paul and Charlotte's back yard. Their house was also in the middle of a field, with a big metal storage barn and a few smaller outbuildings gathered around it; heavy equipment was parked neatly in a line next to the barn. Paul owned his own excavating business, and my aunt Charlotte was the school secretary at our old grade school. Their brick split-level home was solid and spacious and a lot more comfortable than the drafty old farmhouse. I carried the grocery bag of dirty clothes I'd held in my lap the whole way over, as well as another with my notebook and our toothbrushes. I took Daniel's gloved hand as the kids sped off on the four-wheelers and he wrapped his snowy arm around me, red-faced and grinning, as we walked up to the porch. 

"That was fun. You should've tried it."

I shook my head. "No thanks. If it was about eighty degrees, I might."

He laughed just as the door flew open. My aunt flung open the screen door and threw her arms around me.

"Squirrel Bait!"

"Monkey Butt." I hugged her back. She hurried us into the big, spacious kitchen; it was so warm and smelled delicious, of fried chicken and rolls and spices. I breathed in appreciatively, my stomach growling. Charlotte was talking a mile a minute while Daniel and I shed our snowy boots and coats and peeled off scarves and sweaters. 

"I can't believe you've been over there in that cold house all this time. It must've been awful. I told Paul to bring you back but he said you had plenty of firewood and you wanted to stay although I have no idea why when you could've been nice and cozy over here. You have to be hungry. I made your favorite, Rylan." She turned and smiled at Daniel, who was hanging back a bit, uncharacteristically shy. "And you must be Daniel."

"Yes ma'am," he said, shaking her outstretched hand. His mellow drawl dripped from his lips like sweet, thick honey. I shivered, sharing Charlotte's appreciation. "Daniel Braden, nice to meet you."

She looked him up and down admiringly and by the way she was smiling, I could tell she liked him. "Listen to you! Such a proper Southern gentleman."

"Not always," I said under my breath and I grinned to see Daniel's cheeks redden slightly more, this time not from cold. I'd never seen him blush. I didn't even know he could blush.

Charlotte punched me on the arm. "Shut up, Master Squirrel Bait. Daniel, it's so nice to meet you. I'm Charlotte Harlin, Ryan's aunt. I'm so sorry you've been trapped over there in that icebox, come in and get warm. Do you like fried chicken?" she asked as she headed toward the stove across the room. I arranged our snowy boots on the doormat with the other shoes and barn boots that already lay there, and hung our coats on the pegs over the furnace grate so they could dry. On the other wall, next to the fireplace, a floor-to-ceiling Christmas tree twinkled. I'd totally forgotten it was only two weeks until Christmas. 

"Yes'm, I do," Daniel answered politely. "Thanks for having me, Ms. Harlin."

"Oh, Lordy," she laughed and I smirked. "Don't call me that, please. It's Charlotte. Come in and eat. Everything's ready. Rylan, get you and Daniel a plate while I go round up the kids to eat."

"Where's Paul?" I asked.

"He's out with the county snow crew." She pulled on a coat and slipped her feet into oversized boots.

"You mean..." I looked over at Daniel quickly. His eyes widened in comprehension. "The roads are clear?"

She shook her head firmly. "No, they're still closed to traffic, only the road crews can get through. But tomorrow you'll be able to get out." 

When the door closed behind her, I turned around to Daniel. "Well, looks like tomorrow..."

"Yeah." He grinned and wrapped his arms around my neck, drawing me closer. "I'm sorry in a way. This has been kind of fun. But we can't stay here forever, and I know what our first stop is going to be."

"Mmmhmm." I closed my eyes as his mouth captured mine and he scraped his tongue lightly over the edge of my incisors, teasing the tip of my tongue with his until they played lightly. I clutched his shoulders, moaning softly. I wanted him so fucking bad and just the very thought of finally procuring that all-important latex disc just made my knees go weak and butterflies flip in my stomach. 

Grinning, I pulled back and took Daniel's hand to lead him toward the food before Charlotte got back with the kids. 

"Hey Squirrel Bait," Daniel whispered. 

I cringed at the nickname. "Huh?"

"I can't wait to fuck you," he said under his breath just as the door swung open and I had to turn to the stove quickly to hide the hard-on that suddenly dug into the crotch of my jeans. 

****


Chapter 20

"He's beautiful. Those blue eyes."

Charlotte gave a dreamy little sigh as she gazed out the window at Daniel, who was walking toward the storage building with Jeremy and Maddie hanging on his every word. Amidst the conversation over lunch, it turned out Daniel was a classic car buff, which I didn't know because it never came up before, and so Jeremy was taking him out to show him the 1968 Mustang Paul had been restoring for years. Maddie went along because she followed her brother everywhere he went. I smirked, scraping chicken bones onto a plate.

"Yeah. I know."

"And he likes you a lot, too. I can tell." She nodded.

"You think so?" I asked, trying to sound like it didn't matter. "We haven't known each other that long."

Charlotte gave me a knowing look over her shoulder. I wasn't fooling her. "Doesn't matter. He watches you, even when you're not aware of it. That means he likes you."

"He does?" I blushed deeply and Charlotte laughed.

"And you like him a lot too, don't you."

"Yeah." I nodded shyly, my face flaming. I put my hand on my stomach. "I... I get this funny feeling when he smiles at me, you know?"

"Really? So you're fall --..."

Charlotte stopped mid-word when she glanced at me and saw my eyes bug out and my mouth start to open in protest. She smiled and reached over and pushed my hair back from my eyes, stroking my red cheek. Then she gave it a little slap.

"So, tell me how you ended up on a road trip with this gorgeous man without any condoms. Are you fucking crazy?"

"The trip wasn't planned," I answered with a shrug. I knew Paul would tell her the whole story so it was no surprise she already knew about our dilemma. "We were just running to Birmingham, Alabama really quick and ended up here."

"And how did that happen?"

I hesitated. "Well, that's Daniel's story to tell, not mine. He'll have to decide if he wants to tell it to you."

Her brow wrinkled curiously, but she didn't press the issue. Instead, she jabbed me in the ribs with her elbow. That was just how Charlotte showed affection; I was used to it. She used to hold me down and tickle me until I pleaded for mercy and nearly wet my pants. No wonder I was screwed up in the head.

"So... you don't have any condoms in the house, do you?" 

Charlotte laughed. "I'd kill Paul if I found a condom and I don't even want to think about the kids having any."

"Doesn't hurt to ask." I dodged her, grabbing her arms as she snapped my butt with a dishtowel.

Twisting out of my grasp, Charlotte somehow got behind me and pulled my arm backward; I swiped with my ankle and knocked her off balance. We were rolling around on the kitchen floor when Daniel and the two kids came back into the house, laughing and talking. They were obviously fast friends now. Daniel looked startled to see us pummeling each other, while the kids just rolled their eyes and ignored us. They were used to it.

"Mom, can we go tubing down at the Millers' hill? It's not that cold out," Jeremy assured her as we lurched to our feet and straightened up our clothes, breathless with laughing. "Daniel's never been tubing."

"Yeah... okay... but don't stay long. And get your long johns on because it most definitely is cold, young man, don't try to bullshit me."

"I might go with them, it sounds fun," Daniel said while they ran to their rooms to get dressed. "Wanna go?"

I shook my head. "No, but you go ahead if you want. Or, you can stay here and take a nice steamy shower with me while the youngsters are away, instead of going out there in that nasty cold. What do you think?"

"Um," he gave Charlotte an uncertain glance but when she just rolled her eyes and turned away, he grinned at me. "You make a good argument."

"I can be very persuasive," I breathed right next to his ear as the kids ran back in the room. Won over by Daniel's charm, they were disappointed he wasn't coming along but finally they left and I grabbed Daniel's arm.

"Mind if we borrow your shower, Charlotte?"

"Sure. Use the one in mine and Paul's room. It has a safety bar," she grinned. "Towels are in the closet behind the door. I'll put this laundry in when you get out." She called after us as I quickly marched Daniel down the hallway. "Have fun."

"You sure she doesn't mind?"

"Nah. Don't worry about her." I pushed him against the back of the door, locking it with one hand while unbuttoning his shirt with the other. He grinned at me, letting me pull his clothes off while I nibbled at his chin and down his neck with short biting kisses.

"How quiet can you be while I tongue-fuck you?" 

Peeling off his shirt, I shivered. My dick was so hard and he hadn't even touched me. 

"Can you be totally quiet?" he went on in my ear, his breath hot and relentless. "Not make a sound while I eat you out?"

I was sure I couldn't, but I nodded my head to speed the process of getting us both naked. I turned on the water and let the steam rise over the top of the glass enclosure while I peeled his off his layers of clothing - flannel shirt, long underwear, jeans, socks, greedy to touch his skin, smell him, trace the line of his hipbones with my fingers down to his soft golden brown pubic hair. He caught a breath when I raked my fingers in the silky curls. I wrapped my hand around his cock and it was so warm and solid and beautiful. I whimpered longingly, like a hungry puppy. The urge to fall on my knees was almost more than I could resist but I needed that shower first. The rising steam made me flushed and damp, and I hastily shed my own clothes while Daniel watched, still leaning against the door, naked, with his eyes heavy-lidded and sultry.

The water felt so fucking good splashing on my face. The hot water streamed down the back of my neck and my shoulders and down my back into the crack of my ass. So hot and steamy and soothing, washing away the days of never being quite warm. Daniel didn't get in the shower with me but now the glass door slid open and his lean body pressed against me from behind, every inch of me in contact with his skin. I felt his hard shaft against my ass, nestling into the crack, and I leaned back against him and sighed with contentment. Oh, yeah.

Soapy hands washed me from head to foot. I was grateful for the stout metal safety bar attached to the enclosure wall because gripping it was the only thing keeping me from slipping to the tiles in a boneless heap. I tilted my head backward, eyes closed, as Daniel lathered deliciously sweet-smelling shampoo into my hair, massaging my scalp with his fingers while the tip of his dick danced and slid over my butt cheeks and his wet, slippery skin grazed the back of my thighs, my lower back, my shoulder blades, everywhere I was most erotic and sensitive.

"God... Daniel, that feels..." I let out a groan. He laughed softly, moving me under the spray to rinse away the lather. When my hair was squeaky clean, his hands turned me around to face him. Then, I was drowning in wet slippery golden flesh and a hot hungry mouth and streaming water, a very hard cock sliding over my belly, everywhere at once, nudging at my balls. It felt so good I threw my head back and clutched his shoulders, biting back a moan. Pressure gathered in an aching knot in my balls and my legs almost couldn't support me.

"Turn around so I can wash your back," Daniel said. His voice was strained and harsh and I had to smile knowing this affected him just as it did me. The head of his cock was deep red and swollen, so tempting, but I didn't have any willpower to do anything but what he told me.

Turning around, I braced my hands against the tiles. To get better balance on the slick molded plastic floor of the enclosure I spread my legs a bit and leaned my weight onto my hands. This naturally lifted and spread my ass and I chuckled when Daniel sucked in a breath between his teeth. Being spread for him like this made my knees tremble with a mixture of shame and excitement and I needed his hands on me, to reassure me it was okay

Teeth nipped at my shoulder while his soapy hands slicked down my back, making slow circles, down my spine to my hips and then finally cupping my ass. He soaped up my cheeks, then ran his fingers down my crack. My hole tingled but I didn't move. His slid down slowly, circling my hole, teasing it and then slipping away when I pressed back to get his fingers in me. He chuckled softly in my ear and I closed my eyes and lost myself in the feeling of his slippery finger stroking that little spot under my balls. Nobody had ever lavished this much attention on my ass - I'd never let anyone - and it felt so good. My cock leaked and twitched as he ran his thumb around the base of my balls, swirling in little circles, then cupping them gently in his hand. I spread my legs more to give him better access and he pressed into me, his other hand running lightly over my back. For once, he wasn't talking dirty in my ear, he was just breathing, touching me, moaning slightly now and then.

The weight of his cock was warm and solid resting on the top of my ass. His balls were soft against my crack. I drifted, losing myself in his hands and his body against me and his breath getting raspy in my ear while the water pounded down on us in our own little steamy glass-enclosed universe. His hand wrapped around my cock and stroked it slowly. Dimly, through my sexual cloud, I felt his cock slide down my crack. Electricity shot through me. His hips took on a slow rhythm and I bit back a scream from the pleasure of his hand jacking me while his cock slid up and down in my crack so slippery from the water and the soap.

"Jesus... fuck..." Daniel groaned under his breath. 

So hard to stay quiet, my knees buckled and I threw my weight against my hands. No thinking, just the pleasure and the water on my face; I wanted to scream and cum while he fucked me. His cock caught at my hole and I wanted him in me so bad, filling me with his warmth, ached for him I couldn't stand it...

"Daniel."

The head of his cock teased my hole and the noise in my head was so loud I couldn't think, don't care anymore just fuck...me... fuck.

Suddenly, he shoved me forward away from him. I was confused and bereft, my head still spinning in my haze of need; I looked over my shoulder at him, standing there with his face red, panting like he'd just run a marathon. When he ran his hand over his wet face, I saw his hand shaking.

"Gotta stop," he growled. He swallowed hard while I stared at him blankly. His eyes burned, dark and clouded like someone in a fever. "You better get out before I fuck you raw."

A flash of his cock inside me without a barrier of latex, just feeling nothing but his flesh and the hot spurt of his cum deep in me made me go weak, but I forced the image out of my mind and the reality of what had just almost happened dawned on me. The animal lust was still there but reason returned and I nodded, swallowing hard. I reached out and touched his flushed cheek before I slid the glass door open and stepped out onto the rug.

Still dazed and stupid, I stood and stared at myself in the mirror. My own face was blazing red and my mouth was open and panting.  I can't believe what we almost did. And I almost let it happen. I knew I was clean and disease-free and he'd already told me he was too, but we both knew that was no guarantee. He was the first person I'd been with since splitting with Neil after two years of monogamy; but Daniel admitted he still picked up tricks in bars down in Tallahassee and that made the equation very different. I made an accusing face at myself, glared sternly into my own eyes in the mirror. Are you fucking crazy?

"Daniel. I'm sorry," I said over the rush of the shower. I'd only noticed in the back of my mind but the water had gotten noticeably cooler; he was about to get a blast of cold. I half-smiled when I heard him give a little gasp of dismay.

"No, it was my fault."

The water went off with a squeak of turning faucet and he pulled the glass door open and grinned at me. I stared at him, naked and dripping, blue-eyed, fucking delicious. My cock was hard and eager but at least my brain was back in control. 

"I had an unfair advantage," he told me. 

"Yeah, you did." I grabbed two towels out of the cupboard behind the door and tossed him one. "You were holding my dick hostage."

He laughed and there was a little silence as we dried off. He was still just as hard as I was but we both held off. I watched him the mirror, drooling over the luscious curves and hard lines of his beautiful body, his luscious ass and long legs, all that smooth golden flesh and his dick so tempting and ready. 

Finally, he looked up into my eyes in the mirror before us. "Would you have stopped me, if I'd actually started to push inside?"

"Yeah, I would've stopped you." I nodded emphatically. I needed to convince myself of that just as much as I did him; he had so much on him already, he had to know that he wasn't solely responsible for what happened between us. It was too much of a burden for him to carry alone. "We just got too carried away."

"Uh-huh." Dropping the towel, he wrapped his arms around my neck and dipped his head to kiss me deeply. I clutched his hips feeling the room tilt off-kilter. "Soon," he whispered against my jaw. "We just have to wait a little longer. We're almost there. I can't wait to bury my dick inside you so deep you taste it."

"Mmm," was all I could manage to half-whimper. Reaching back, I dropped the toilet seat and sat down on it, pulling his hips close to me. He put his hand in my wet hair as I licked the head of his cock and then swallowed it down my throat. The low, sexy moans he couldn't keep back turned me on and I stroked myself rhythmically while I looked up into his eyes, sliding my mouth up and down his shaft. I could see his ass in the mirror behind us and I loved seeing the muscles flex, watching him buck into me, fucking my face. 




Between the Bars Pt. 04



My balls ached and I felt a deep tingle blossoming at the very base of my cock and radiating out through my belly and up my spine. My moan made him shiver and I sucked him harder, swirling my tongue around the juicy head of his cock on every backstroke. Just as the tingle in my balls started to explode into yellow sparkles, Daniel bit back a cry and thrust hard into my mouth, catching my head to hold it still. His warm cum spurted into my mouth in such a thick stream, it dripped out the corner of my lip even as I was trying to swallow. The thick, buttery taste got me off and I muffled my own cries with his cock while I came all over my hand, and splattered my thighs with sticky cream. Daniel looked down at me and grinned as he withdrew, wiping the drop of cum off my chin with his thumb.

"We better get dressed before the kids get home," I mumbled when I could finally speak. After a nice shave and getting dressed, we emerged into the kitchen. Charlotte looked up from the sink where she was peeling potatoes for dinner. 

"Have a good shower?" she asked cheerfully.

Daniel and I looked at each other and grinned. "The best," I answered; and for a passing moment, to my complete surprise, I thought I saw a slight blush cross my shameless aunt's cheeks.

*****



Between the Bars Pt. 05



Chapter 21

"So how's the dissertation coming?"

I groaned. Fuck. Why did she have to ask me this every single time she saw me? It bordered on nagging. I especially didn't need this in front of Daniel, who was now listening curiously. Families were so damned embarrassing.

"You know how it's coming," I muttered.

"You're still not finished? And have you even worked on it at all?" Charlotte prattled on, stubbornly oblivious to my stare of death. "It's been how many years now?"

"I've worked on it."

"Opening the file from time to time doesn't count as working on it."

"How is it any of your business anyway?" I said under my breath; I almost hoped she didn't hear me, but Charlotte had inherited my grandmother's radar ears. 

"Oh, I don't know, maybe it's my business because I want you to get your doctorate?"

"Nothing but a worthless piece of paper." I scowled at her, turning red under Daniel's slightly confused look. "My publisher doesn't care if I have a PhD. after my name and neither do my readers, so why should it matter to you?"

"Your readers think you're a woman named Cassandra," Charlotte reminded me sarcastically. Daniel laughed softly and even I had to crack a slight smile. "I just want you to get something out of all those years of hard work, even if it is just a worthless piece of paper. You've earned those letters after your name and if you'd just get off your ass and finish your dissertation, you could get a teaching job instead of sitting around staring at a computer screen all day."

"Wait a minute," Daniel said. "I'm confused. I thought you already had your doctorate."

"Well, I do and I don't." My face was blazing. Charlotte had an uncanny ability to hit on the one thing that would embarrass me most. "I've finished all the doctorate course work at Auburn and I picked my dissertation and had it approved... I even have it mostly written." I cringed, waiting for the inevitable question, and of course, it came.

"What's it about?"

"The Death of Spencer: Childe Harold's Pilgrimage and Byron's Assault on the Elizabethan Virtues." Reluctantly, I told him the title and waited for the blank stare of "Huh?" Shit. I hated talking about it with people not in the academic world; it was so embarrassing, having to spend five minutes explaining what the title meant. To my surprise Daniel actually seemed interested, so I talked a little bit about George Gordon, Lord Byron, and his wild life of debauchery that shocked society, the rumors of liaisons with both sexes, and the affair with his half-sister that eventually led to his downfall.

"Well, it seems like you have all your information; so what's the hold up?"

Now, I was really embarrassed, squirming in my chair like I'd just been called on in class and everyone was staring at me waiting for me to answer and I was frozen. "Um... I have to present it to the committee and it's just... not ready."

"At the rate he's going, it never will be," Charlotte said, as if I wasn't even in the room. She was being a total bitch, which was nothing new. I understood her frustration and I knew it was motivated by her loving me and wanting the best for me, but at the same time, she needed to butt out. Nagging and pushing were the two fastest ways to get me to dig in my heels. You'd think after knowing me my whole life, she would know that. It barely took Daniel a week to figure it out. The thought amazed me, the way he could get me to do anything, say anything, get past issues that I'd struggled with my whole life, and he did it without pushing one bit. How could he know me so well when he knew almost nothing about me? 

He smiled at me and I blinked, startled out of my cloud. I'd been staring at him like a crushed out schoolboy again; it was mortifying, but Daniel slid his hand over under the table and gave my thigh a squeeze. He thought it was cute, even if my aunt did roll her eyes as she got up from the table and grabbed the coffeepot to refill our mugs. 

"Besides, you know I don't want to teach," I growled at Charlotte.

"Then what do you want to be when you grow up, Rylan?"

"I think he wants to be a writer. Wait. He is a writer." Daniel gave me the full intensity of his smile and my heart did the flipping thing it seemed to have just begun when I met him. I stared into his blue eyes, speechless, awed by the way he always said the right thing. He was fucking wonderful. His hand rubbed light circles on my leg and I just slowly melted down into a big, quivering puddle on the kitchen floor. So much joy he gave me but such sharp stabs of sudden pain, realization that it was almost over.

"He'd be a good English professor though," Daniel added, eyes twinkling at me. I could just see the dirty little ways he could earn extra credit dancing through his head.

"Not likely," snorted Charlotte as she banged around. "This is the kid who deliberately got a B in honors chemistry senior year in high school so he wouldn't have to be valedictorian and get up and give a speech at graduation."

"Won't you ever shut up?" The embarrassing secrets were too much and I got up from the table and stalked off. They were laughing at me; I just knew it. Charlotte was telling Daniel all about what a dork I am, how I threw up when I had to give class presentations. I always ended up getting good grades, but there was always a moment, when I first stepped up to the lectern and all the eyes were staring at me, that my throat closed up, my knees got weak and I was sure I couldn't do it.

Presenting my paper to the dissertation committee was a black cloud over my life. It had to be done, and eventually I would do it. I would finish the dissertation and present it, but not until it was perfect. My facts were perfect. The paper was impeccably researched, arranged, edited and just waiting. Byron was a natural choice for me, it was easy and I knew the work would be highly praised; the academic publication would be good for my "legitimate" writing career and the people whom I was supposed to be eager to notice me would finally know my name. 

Charlotte and the rest of my family knew that and they didn't understand why I still hesitated. They were thrilled at the prospect of having a doctor in the family even if it was a doctorate in English literature. Frankly, sometimes I wondered myself why I couldn't do the deed and get it over with; but the fact of the matter was, something in me wouldn't let me because it wasn't what I really wanted. And in order to face that committee, those strange faces all gathered around staring at me and listening to me and judging me, everything that comprised my worst nightmare, I had to really want it. 

Daniel seemed to understand when he came into the living room and sat down beside me. I tried to explain it to him and he nodded thoughtfully. It was something I'd never tried to articulate until now and the vague dissatisfaction I'd always felt with my academic career was much clearer now. Making sense of it all filled me with relief.

"So... just start over," Daniel suggested with a shrug. 

"You don't just start a doctoral dissertation over."

"Why not?"

"You have to re-apply to the program, get a new advisor, submit a prospectus and get it approved by the committee, which can take months and then you have to research it and-"

He lifted an eyebrow and I stopped. 

"You know, maybe I could start over. Maybe not at Auburn, but I could get into a doctorate program somewhere else, and write about something I really like." I thought of my scribbled-in notebook, rapidly filling up. "Science fiction doesn't get much respect in the academic world; it's certainly under-represented but there's so much there, so many possibilities..." Suddenly, so many possibilities and so much to say, a door opening on the boredom, freeing me from my work on Byron which, I now realized, I'd grown to hate so much I'd never finish it. It wouldn't be easy to admit defeat, to leave behind several years' worth of work, but to get free of the corpse of Byron that I dragged behind me, the failure would be worth it. I actually felt giddy. "I think I can do this, Daniel."

"Sure you can."

"You did it again. How do you know?"

"I don't," he laughed. "It's all you. All I do is ask the questions, the answers are yours."

"But knowing the right questions to ask..." I turned to him and buried my face in his neck. He was fucking amazing. Dammit. He smelled incredible too, clean and soapy and delicious from our shower. I knew I shouldn't, being in someone else's house right out in the open where the kids could walk in any minute, but I couldn't help myself. My lips begged for his taste, and I pressed my mouth to his collarbone and flicked my tongue over the satin skin, making him tilt his head back against the couch to allow me better access.

"I should stop," I whispered in his ear as I nibbled the edge. He laughed softly, almost a purr. He made me so hard. I didn't want to stop and I let out a little growl as I caught his bottom lip between my teeth. I tasted coffee when his tongue twined around mine. I felt him groan in his throat as I reached down and circled the head of his cock with my thumb through his jeans.

The back door banged right behind us, startling me, and the house filled with the kids' loud laughing voices and the stomping of snowy boots. I jumped away from Daniel to the other end of the couch, grinning at him. His mouth was red and damp from my kisses, and he quickly crossed his legs as Maddie and Jeremy trooped in, followed by their dad. Paul came over and greeted us, shaking hands with Daniel; and as he walked away toward the kitchen where the kids were clambering around Charlotte, he dropped a small brown paper bag in my lap. 

When I peered inside, my breath caught. Condoms. A whole box of them and a small tube of KY jelly. Finally, at last, after all this time, Paul got out of the frozen house, and once on the roads he actually thought to stop and get condoms for me. Flooded with gratitude, I pictured him stopping at the convenience store for coffee with the rest of the county road crew and casually buying condoms and lube, unconcerned with the stares and the crude joking remarks. That was Paul. I wanted to run over and kiss him but that could wait until later.

Grabbing Daniel's hand, I hauled him to his feet. "Um, Daniel and I are tired, we're going to go downstairs and take a nap."

"Oh, um, okay," Charlotte said, lifting an eyebrow as she watched me steer Daniel to the stairs. Paul glanced at us; he didn't grin but I saw his eyes twinkling. "I made the bed for you and put towels in the bathroom."

"Thanks."

I slammed the basement door. On the stairs, I thrust the little paper bag at Daniel. When he opened it the puzzled frown left his face and a huge grin replaced it. He wrapped a hand around my wrist and pulled me down the stairs with determination. The dark-paneled guest room was spacious and warm from the furnace humming right beyond the wall and the freshly made bed was deliciously tempting. Daniel twirled the lock on the doorknob. As he turned to me grinning, my mouth was suddenly dry and my feet seemed frozen to the spot, the backs of my calves pressed to the bed.

"Problem?"

"No, I just... I don't know, I'm kinda nervous but I don't know why, I shouldn't be, I mean, that flashlight was a lot bigger than your dick." I grinned nervously. 

Daniel stared at me until my babbling stopped. I blushed in a way I thought I was over with him and he waited until it had faded a bit.

"You done?"

"Yeah." I nodded, voice suddenly harsh. A little pulse started in my throat. It was stupid to be nervous with him. "Just so much expectation, you know, so much waiting and I don't want you to be..." I stopped before I could say disappointed.

He didn't need me to say it. "I won't be." 

My heart thumped hard against my chest. Daniel took the condoms and lube out of the little sack and placed them on the bedside table while I watched with my knees shaking. He smiled at me, and then I was going backward, falling, landing on the soft mattress with Daniel's weight pushing me down and his body lean and hard on top of mine. Clothes came off, I didn't know how but I was naked, tugging at Daniel's shirt while he unzipped his pants and let out his long shaft, already hard again, brushing my inner thigh.

"Shit." He looked down at me already flushed and panting lightly. "I can't wait to be in you." He pushed aside my hands, still trying to get his clothes off. "Roll over," he growled and I was helpless against his demands, I did exactly as he said and rolled over my stomach. His shirt never made it off. Hands all over me, lips, tongue, down my spine to the top of my ass, parting my legs. My cock leaked into the sheets. I shivered when I heard him groan and pause as he looked down at my spread ass.

His hands were shaking when he stroked my ass cheeks. His palms drew them apart and I jumped when I felt his tongue slide down my crack and circle my hole, painting a wet circle around the tender flesh, teasing, then darting away when I tried to push back against it. Even down here with the door closed, we still had to be quiet and when his tongue slipped past the rim of my ass, I buried my face in the pillow to stifle my cry. Silence wrapped us. I wanted to tell him how good it felt, his sweet tongue buried in my ass, but my mind couldn't find the words and I just clutched the sheets and rubbed my cock against the mattress. Needed more than a tongue, needed him...

"God. Turn over."

I rolled over. I lifted my knees. I wanted to look into his eyes, at his red mouth, teeth catching his lower lip. That armpits of his shirt were dark with sweat. He caught the backs of my legs and put my ankles on his shoulders. I loved his eyes when he was turned on like this, on the edge, the way they got dark and clouded with lust. His fingers fumbled with the condom while I watched, lazily stroking my own cock. The empty ache inside me was overwhelming.

"Can you take it hard?" 

"Yeah. Hard."

I groaned under my breath as his slippery index finger slid in me. He teased, stroked, lubed until I twisted in frustration, his dark eyes pinning me down, burning right through me. 

"Need it now."

The finger slipped out and the thick, blunt head on his cock pushed in. It burned, but I tried not to wince because I didn't want him to think he was hurting me. I took a deep breath and pushed down, letting him slide into me, letting him fill me all the way to the top, the burn was intense but I welcomed it, oh so very long since I had a real cock inside me and I wanted to feel it. Daniel's eyes rolled back as he felt my tight muscles surround him. I felt him tremble a bit, fighting the need to thrust; he didn't want to hurt me. I moved my legs off his shoulders and wrapped them around his back, pulling him down onto his elbows. The shift in weight adjusted the angle of his penetration and I let a moan escape. God, it felt good.

So deep in me, possessing me, finally, finally filling me up and soothing the empty ache that had roared inside me like a blaze. Daniel's mouth caught at mine as he thrust steadily, slow at first and then building, gathering the burning fullness into a tingly knot. So good. His tongue pushed into my mouth; he moaned and his hips faltered. "Yes, Daniel, come inside me, yes." I whispered in his ear, fingers digging into his back, and he buried his face in my neck to muffle the sounds of his orgasm. Somehow, while he was still hard, he slid his hand between our stomachs. I didn't think I was close until his hand wrapped around me and then I came so hard. We lay there like that, in a sticky and panting heap, until I could finally gather up my wits to speak.

"I thought you wanted me to ride you."

"I do. That'll be round two, but I need a little time." He wiggled off me onto his side next to me, his half-limp cock still pulsing contentedly against my thigh. After a moment, he got up and went to the bathroom, bringing back a warm wet cloth. After I cleaned up, he wrapped his arm over my chest. His lips played at my ear and I relaxed just letting the euphoria slowly ebb. "You know," Daniel whispered in my ear as he stroked my arm that was resting over my head, "at home I have some black Velcro wrist restraints. They're nice, a lot more comfortable than the handcuffs."

I swallowed and mumbled something, trying not to blush. Not because I didn't like the idea, or the mental picture, but because I did. And he knew it.

"They'd look very sexy on you. You can try them out on me first, of course. Would you like that?"

"Yeah," I whispered shyly. Just saying it was an overwhelming relief. I felt wrung out and exhausted but in a good way. I liked it when he took me hard. I never thought I'd want someone to have that power over me again, but my trust in him was surprising, simple and transcending. 

"Okay?"

"Yeah... it's just... I'm not used to thinking of myself as a bottom, you know?"

"You're not. Not any more than I am. I like being bound just as much as I like being in control. You can have it both ways, at different times. With the right person, it's soothing to know that whenever you want, you can relax, let go, just be." 

I closed my eyes, letting his warm weight calm me. "I don't think I want to do that with anybody but you," I admitted without meaning to. The honesty was a little more than I wanted to let out but there was no way to stuff it back in now. Shit.

"Good. You shouldn't. I'll always take care of you, Ry. Promise."

His voice was getting thick and drowsy and I felt my eyelids droop. "And who takes care of you?" I asked, but we were both asleep before he could answer.

******

Chapter 22

The scent of food woke us with growling stomachs. No idea what time it was, no clock in the room, but it was probably close to dinnertime. I lounged on the bed watching while Daniel picked through the mound of clothes we'd thrown on the floor. Wearing nothing but the cum-splattered t-shirt he'd never managed to take off before fucking me, he was dangerously sexy. I stared at his ass in amazement when he bent over and the shirt rode up and exposed his round, pale, delicious cheeks and the little dimples just above, right at the base of his spine. The muscles carved out smooth indentations in the sides that offered his ass cheeks up like plump fruit just waiting to be plucked. Somewhere, a heavenly choir sang in joyful exaltation at the sight.

"Aren't you changing?" 

"Nope." He grinned and buttoned his flannel shirt over the t-shirt, instead of taking it off like I'd expected. "I like the thought of sitting around the table with your family, with your cum smeared all over me."

I shivered. So sweet and so slutty all at once. The combination blew my fucking mind. "It'd be rude of us to stay down here and fuck until morning, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, but we have a big day tomorrow, so we'll need to get to bed early and get plenty of rest," he reminded me with a smirk.

I grinned, but only briefly. I lay back and watched him pull some pants on before I finally asked the question that had been nagging at me for days. "So what about tomorrow, anyway? Have you figured out your next move?"

He tossed me my clothes. "As soon as I download my video files and send them to my captain, I can go to Chicago and get the rest of the evidence."

"But won't that video feed clear you of the murder charges?"

"Absolutely."

I clutched my clothes in my fingers, but I didn't make any move to put them on. "Then... it'll all be over. You can go home. Back to your life."

"No, I can't. Not until the case is closed."

All the worry and frustration I'd been bottling up suddenly rushed into my mouth and choked me. "But all the charges against you will be dropped and Adkins will probably go to death row for killing a cop. Justice will be done, Daniel, isn't that enough?" 




Between the Bars Pt. 05



"No," he said simply. He wasn't looking at me anymore, sitting on the edge of the bed pulling his socks on while I stared at him. He looked blank, emotionless. I tried never to push, never to stand in the way of what he needed to do, but I just didn't understand this. Why was he putting himself in danger? Like someone in a horror movie, he was walking down the dark corridor toward certain death, and I was sitting in the audience watching, powerless to stop him. "Adkins is a cold-blooded killer but he's only one man. He's only a link in this chain. Take him out and someone else will step right into his place. The chain has be smashed, all the way to the top, every last link. Then justice will be done. Then it will be enough."

Still that emotionless face, a cool factual tone from him, but just beneath the surface calm I could feel something vibrating in him like an electrical current. There was something more here. There was always something more, and he always shut me out, so completely I never even saw the walls coming until I crashed into them. Everything, I told him everything, showed him my darkest places, the things that made me shiver in the black hours before dawn; and in return, he gave me nothing. I knew nothing about him. The sexy grin and the hot ass were only a cover for the brick wall that kept me out. I was tired of walking into it with every other step, I wanted to fling myself at it kicking and screaming until it crumbled.

"Dammit, Daniel. You're gonna get yourself killed if you go up there. They're just waiting for you. If you'd gotten into that car in St. Louis you'd probably fucking be dead right now."

"You're probably right."

His agreement just pissed me off even more. "Why do you have to save the fucking world? Being a cop isn't a religion, it's a job. Yeah, these are bad people and they've done a lot of bad things, but this is not a personal crusade. Let it go, Daniel. Tell your captain where the evidence is and let him send someone to get it. Let someone else finish this. You've given them the rope. They'll hang themselves."

"Actually, it is personal," he said in such a soft voice that it almost seemed like he didn't want me to hear. But I did, and he knew I did; and after I stared at him intently, waiting, he finally shrugged. "You're right, Rylan, I can clear my own ass and back out of this right now with my hands clean. Hell, I know I'm not the only cop who can do this job. I know it's not altogether healthy to make an investigation into a personal mission, but Adkins and all his dirty cops got my partner killed."

"Oh, and that's part of the police code? Revenge for fellow officers?"

"Not my partner on the force, Ry. My life partner."

My impassioned rant fell flat and I stared at him, words dying on my lips. He had never talked about a lover before. All the pain and loss I'd sensed in him were so clear in his eyes right now. That was what changed him. He fell in love, but now that anchor was gone and he was adrift. It made sense, the missing pages of his life, left unspoken because he was blocking out the pain, burying that part of his life to stop the hurt.

"I didn't know."

"I know you didn't." He reached up like he was going to touch my face but his hand dropped and he rested his elbows on his knees, staring downward. "I never told you. Been almost two years. He went on a drug raid and never came back. Ray was a good cop, too good, too honest. Adkins had the whole vice squad by the balls, but he couldn't drag Ray down to their level. He knew too much, and I told him and told him that he was in real danger, but he just laughed me off. Said he always watched his back." 

Sliding closer, up behind him, I watched his profile but I didn't touch him even though I wanted to. If he finally wanted to talk, I wanted to listen to every word.

"I was a vice detective too, but our captain knew Ray and I were lovers and he wouldn't let us work together, said it would compromise our effectiveness on the team if we were focused on each other. Still, I shouldn't have let him alone go that night. I should've been there looking out for him. When they called, I asked him not to go. Said I had a bad feeling, asked him to stay home with me. But he'd been working so hard on cracking this drug ring; he had to be there when the shit went down. He wouldn't let it go." 

So, Ray couldn't let it go either. I couldn't help but flick back to what I'd told him less than a minute ago. Daniel, let it go. Let it go before it kills you.

Daniel shook his head, still looking down at the floor. "They said a dealer popped him in the head, but Ray would never have been that careless, not even in a crisis. He always had his wits about him, a lot more so than me." Brief smile, wistful. "I never got to see him one last time to say goodbye. By the time I got the call, he was already dead. There was, God, so much blood. I don't know who actually shot him, but I knew Adkins was behind it, and as the cover-up unfolded, I realized that it went even higher. I secretly joined Internal Affairs while keeping my vice shield, because I knew that if I could just get close, I could get Adkins. It's not revenge. Ray wouldn't want me to get revenge, but I owe him justice." 

Pain rolled off him in waves. I felt it break over me and shatter. Beneath his world-saving exterior, he was lost, and as much as I admired his courage and his strength, his pain was what finally broke down my last defenses and ground them to powder. I'd do anything to take it away, reach right inside him and tear it out, let my love fill in the broken parts.

Yeah. Love. There was no point in denying it anymore. I'd felt the strange tugging and sharp darts for a while now, but when I tested out my skin, I felt it spread out all through me, pulsing in my blood. I didn't need him to love me back right now. I didn't want anything from him; his load was too heavy already. I just wanted to give him the single most important thing he'd lost since his betrayal in Florida, the thing he most needed right now: loyalty. There was so much on his shoulders, so much I couldn't help with. All I could do was love him.

I moved closer to him, slid my arm around his waist. He resisted for a second, and then he leaned back against me and dropped his head back onto my shoulder, closing his eyes while I wrapped my arms around him and just held him. Without speaking, I let my love surround him and flow into him through my touch. Just letting himself be held was not, I sensed, something he let happen very often. But god, he felt so good in my arms.

It would've been fine with me to hold him like that all night, but finally his stomach growled audibly and he sat up and pulled away from me gently. When he swallowed hard and could only glance at me before looking away, I knew he'd felt a bit, of what I gave without question. I looked up at him, naked both physically and emotionally, stripped of my defenses and let him see me, totally open to him.  Whatever you need, you can have. 

I didn't push him to not look away. This was no battle of wills. What I offered was there for the taking, when he wanted it. I got up from the bed and got dressed while Daniel pulled his boots on. My hair was a mess, but at least it was clean and not greasy when I combed through it with my fingers. Daniel was a bit withdrawn now, but I just kissed him and led him to the basement stairs by the hand, accepting his silence. I knew what it was to feel exposed and caught off guard after you've revealed more than you meant to; but Daniel had made it safe for me and I could give him no less.

The steak, butter-roasted potatoes and steamed broccoli were delicious, especially after days of canned food, but I didn't have much appetite. Sitting around the table with the chattering kids and Charlotte and Paul, all I could think of was Daniel, who was eating silently next to me without looking at me. His cum-splattered shirt made me grin to myself but more serious things took precedence. He was determined to walk into danger. Thinking his convictions would save him. Thinking it didn't matter if they didn't. It just made me sick inside to think of him being hurt or killed, losing him the way he'd lost Ray, but I knew I couldn't try to stop him. I'd said everything I had a right to say, and anything more would only push him from me. All I could do now was let go. Part of the whole love thing, apparently. Trust. The hardest part. 

"Is your Internet up?"

They stopped talking and looked at me, slightly puzzled. My question was totally out of the blue, nothing to do with what they were talking about. Charlotte lifted an eyebrow at me and nodded slowly.

"The phones came back on this morning, so yes, it should be working."

"Daniel needs to use it for some police stuff."

"Sure. You know where it is," she said.

Dinner wasn't over yet but Daniel was on his feet in an instant. I didn't know where he was going when he ran in the direction of the stairs, but then he came back up a minute later with something in his hand. He was just as jumpy as I was. I took him out to the glassed-in sun porch that was Paul's office, and after I logged into the dial-up connection, I got up.

"I'll leave you alone, then," I said as he slid into the desk chair and plugged in his portable USB storage device. That's what he'd gone downstairs for, then.

"No, stay. I want you to see this, Rylan."

I believed in his innocence. Even in the beginning, when I accused him of kidnapping me, I never thought he was a killer. I didn't need the video to prove that to me, but I still wanted to see it. I wanted to know what he faced, what he'd been through, really see through his eyes. My heart beat faster just imagining him there, facing that danger alone and knowing that he was staring death in the face. Eyes glued to the monitor, I waited as his fingers flew over the keyboard. The browser identified a secure site within the Tallahassee Police Department network.

Invalid Filename

1 of 3 tries

The error message pinged and he retyped it patiently.

Invalid Filename

2 of 3 tries

"Huh?"

Now he was frowning in confusion as he carefully typed his password a third time. The error message pinged again and a security notice popped up.

Unauthorized User. Access denied and then the screen went blank. Daniel stared at it, eyes wide.

"Fuck," he breathed. 

"What happened?"

"I dunno. Someone's changed the security codes so I can't access the encrypted files." He looked up at me in stunned disbelief. 

"But who?"

"I don't know. Adkins and his boys couldn't have done it; they don't have my user codes. Only one person knows... Ah, fuck."

His fist came down hard on the desk, making me jump. The stunned look was gone; instead, he was pale with rage. 

"Fucking Olmos. He was the one who blew my cover. It all makes sense now... Shit." Daniel took a deep breath. I knew he was clearing his head. "Olmos is my captain," he told me grimly. "I didn't know who leaked my IAD investigation. Now I know."

"Oh god, Daniel." The impression I got from the couple of times he'd mentioned his captain, was that he was one of the few people Daniel trusted. This had to be a huge jolt. I put my hand on his shoulder in concern but he shook it off impatiently, standing to pace the room.

"What are you going to do now?"

"There's one copy of that video feed. I sent it to Scott Wyman. I can't get into the Chicago PD intranet on my own, not from here. I'm just gonna have to go up and find my old buddy Scott and get him to help me."

The way he said help and the dangerously calm look on his face gave me a chill. 

"Daniel," I said softly. I stopped because I couldn't say the things that were teeming in my head: No, don't, it's too fucking dangerous.

"Tomorrow, if it's okay with you, we'll leave for Chicago. Once we get there, I want you to take me where I need to go and then leave. Drive back to Atlanta. I don't want you involved in this, Rylan."

"I'm not just leaving you there."

"You don't have a choice. You're a civilian and I'm not putting you in harm's way. You'll just be a distraction."

That hurt, but I refused to let it show. He didn't know stubborn. 

"Fine," I said with a shrug and meant exactly the opposite. There was absolutely no way I was leaving him alone. He'd already been abandoned too many times. He didn't know it yet, but I was staying.

He gave me a long appraising look and he opened his mouth to say more, but then Paul's voice from the other end of the house startled us, calling my name loudly and the running of Maddie's feet coming closer.

"Rylan! Rylan, get in here, quick! You're on the news!"

******

Chapter 24

"And in local news, the St. Louis county sheriff's office is asking for your help in their search for Detective Daniel Braden, a Tallahassee police officer who's wanted in the shooting death of a fellow officer. Although there has been no official comment, sources within the department have revealed that Braden was involved in a drug-trafficking ring that may operate across state lines. Braden was last seen in St. Louis three days ago, in a green Honda Passport registered to Rylan Kennedy, a resident of Atlanta, Georgia. The driver of the vehicle was not identified, but Kennedy has not been seen since Friday. In a phone call, he told friends he had returned to his home in Milam, Illinois, but the ice storm paralyzing the area has halted the search effort. Anyone with information on Rylan Kennedy or Detective Daniel Braden is urged to call the county sheriff's office at..."

A rushing sound cut in my ears off any more words as a photo of my own face popped up on the screen next to the same photo of Daniel I'd seen on the news back in my kitchen. 

Charlotte, Paul, and both of the kids were staring at us with their mouths and eyes wide while we stood next to the couch, facing the TV. Daniel had turned pale and I gripped his hand at my side. I stepped slightly in front of him. I had to make them understand. I had to make the shocked, horrified, and slightly fearful looks go away.

"It's not like they're saying," I said when I could speak.

"Sit," Charlotte whispered, pointing at the other end of the couch. "Tell."

We sat. I pulled Daniel's hand into my lap. There had always been an unspoken rule around Charlotte's kids, they knew I was gay and they knew what it meant, they'd met some of my boyfriends, but they'd never seen me hold anyone's hand before, or kiss, or anything like that. I didn't care; they were old enough to deal with it now and I wasn't letting go of Daniel, not ever. I held his hand firmly while he slowly told them story from the beginning, going back to the night of the shooting. The only details he left out were the two of us meeting in a club and going back to my house to fuck. He glossed over that part but Paul and Charlotte picked up on it and traded a quick look. They couldn't believe I'd gotten involved in something like this and their look plainly said, Should've known.

Daniel went through the story carefully, showing his trained eye for detail. When he caught up to the present time he looked over at me hesitantly. "I think that's about it, unless Ry noticed anything I left out. He's the storyteller."

I shook my head. "No. You got it all."

"And you trust him?" Paul looked past Daniel, straight at me. "In your heart, you believe he's telling the truth about everything."

"Yes. Absolutely." I nodded without hesitation and Daniel gave my hand a little squeeze. He was still pale. Everything rode on Charlotte and Paul right now. All they had to do was pick up the phone and call that number and it was all over.

"Okay." Paul looked at his wife and she nodded. The kids nodded enthusiastically when he looked at them for their agreement. It had to be unanimous. "Then we trust you too, Daniel. We believe you and we're not going to call the cops, so you can relax. We'll do everything we can to help you."

Next to me, Daniel caught a breath and I felt him go limp with relief, but he still hesitated looking at Paul with a mixture of doubt and disbelief. "You'd help me? Even if you might get into trouble? But why?"

"Because it's the right thing," Paul shrugged and the rest of them nodded their heads.

Daniel had always lived in the city and he'd never been surrounded by a tight-knit community where everyone stuck together and fiercely looked out for each other. Friendships between families went back generations and at the first sign of trouble, the wagons circled and people stepped up to help each other. The bonds of family blood were even stronger, unbreakable, unconditional. The love between Charlotte and me had encompassed Paul many years ago, and now it stretched to include Daniel, because she knew from the first time she saw us together, even before I did, that I loved him and she would do anything for me. This love was huge and eternal and I only now realized how much I'd missed it living so far away. My gratitude was so overwhelming I couldn't speak; and Paul didn't give Daniel time to say anything. He wasn't interested in thanks.

"So tell me your plan of action. What are you going to do next?"

"Well, I'm not sure. This," Daniel gestured toward the TV, "changes everything. I guess I shouldn't be surprised there's a search on... these people aren't going to give up until they kill me. Right now, the law is on their side and they have all the resources at their disposal. They won't stop just because I disappeared for a couple of days. I should've planned for this. I shouldn't have let it catch me off guard."

"And what were your plans before you saw the news?" Paul asked after giving Daniel a moment to ponder.

"I have to get into the network to retrieve that video file. I was going to have Ry drive me to Chicago and take me to Scott Wyman's place, but I see now that's too dangerous. I could've dealt with him alone, but now he's sure to be followed because they know I'll be looking for him, and I can't take on the whole Chicago PD by myself. Which is a shame, because I was looking forward to a little persuasion." He paused to think that over. "I have three things I need to accomplish. One: Get into the network and download my video. Two: Take the video to someone I trust. Three: Get access to the rest of the evidence."

"Who do you trust up there?" I asked.

Wyman had been instrumental in setting him up, and now that Captain Olmos was out of the equation, Daniel was pretty much alone. He had no one to go to. The thought was chilling.

"That's the problem. I don't know," Daniel admitted. 

Charlotte had gotten up and she came back and handed us all a beer, which I opened gratefully. Maddie and Jeremy were given sodas. I would've expected them to get bored and wander off, but they were fascinated with the proceedings. Nothing this interesting ever happened around here. 

"The way I see it, you need someone on the outside," I said slowly as an idea turned in my brain. Sometimes, it took a bit of time for my thoughts to fully develop. I was good at doing it in the pages of a novel but it could be challenging in the real world, where things happened much more quickly. "Someone impartial and not accountable to the police department."

"Yes... and the FBI would've been the place to go, but after what happened in St. Louis, I'm just not sure about them either. It could have been a ruse, or it really could have been FBI involvement. There's no way to know and I just can't take that risk." 

"What about the ATF?" Charlotte said.

"I can't involve the ATF until after I get the video. I can't call them with unsubstantiated accusation; they don't act on rumors, they have to have proof. Besides, if I do it before I clear myself of this murder, I'll be arrested." He shook his head, his frustration growing with each dead end.




Between the Bars Pt. 05



"The press."

Daniel lifted an eyebrow and everyone looked at me and waited for me to complete my thought.

"You need help getting access to Wyman. A reporter could do that, be your contact point so you won't be spotted if anyone is watching him. A reporter could break the story in a live Internet feed, so that your video will be safely on their secure network as soon as you get it and nobody can alter it or take it away. The proof of your innocence is incontrovertible once we secure the video files... with that, we buy the chance to access the rest of the evidence."

"We?" Daniel questioned, but the corner of his mouth was tugging in a smile. "When did this become we?"

"Did I say we? I meant you," I answered sweetly.

"Uh-huh. We'll discuss that part later. That's a good idea, Rylan, but the problem is, you can't just show up at the Tribune office with a crazy story and expect a reporter to believe you without question. They're even more cynical than cops, hell, they're likely to call the cops on me themselves."

"You forget, I went to Northwestern." I smiled. Yeah, my moment of inspiration was turning out to be brilliant. "I have a good friend up in Chicago who works for the Sun-Times. I haven't talked to her in awhile, but we'll be able to trust her. I know she'll help us."

"Do you have her number?" Daniel asked immediately. I knew he was impressed with my idea and the warmth of his approval felt very pleasant. To be able to help, it was all I really wanted. To help him and keep him safe, to be someone he could trust, his port in the storm where he'd been lost and alone for so long.

"Not on hand, but I can get it." 

On the Sun-Times website, there was a phone directory for the offices of the different departments within the paper. I didn't know what department Kat was working in nowadays, but after I talked to a friendly lady in the City pages, I was soon connected to Kat's voice mail at the Editorial desk. Dammit. If only I had her cell number. In addition to leaving her a message, I also e-mailed her from the portal on the website. When I hung up, I shrugged at Daniel who was waiting with thinly veiled impatience, a crack in his calm.

"I sure hope she checks her messages."

"You did everything you could. All we can do now is wait."

So we waited. Outside the windows, darkness deepened the shadows on the snow from gray to indigo. Paul watched TV in the den, the kids played their X-Box on the television next to the fireplace and Charlotte moved around the house doing various chores and whatever else she did. Daniel and I drifted restlessly from one thing to the next until we finally ended up standing at the window, looking out at the full moon shining down on the dark snowy fields, breaking and refracting so the silvery light sparkled like countless tiny diamonds. We'd both been feeling suffocated, caged and crowded, in a house filled with people, waiting, with nothing productive to do and nowhere to get away from it; there was so much on his shoulders right now and yet his eyes still lit up when he gazed at the moonlight on the snow. I leaned closer to him so that our shoulders touched and he smiled at me. I wanted to kiss him so much, but I couldn't. Not with everyone around us. I didn't even care about the cold and the dark; I wanted nothing more than to be back at the farmhouse with him, just the two of us, for what could very well be our last night together.

Love you, scared for you, don't want you hurt. Can't say any of those things so just press the sensitive skin of my upper arm through my clothes into his warmth, and try not to imagine the worst.

The phone rang. Finally. After we'd just decided she wasn't going to call, it finally rang. We both jumped and stood there tense. Charlotte answered it and brought it to me. "It's for you, Rylan."

"Rylan Kennedy, what the hell is going on? I just saw you on the news!"

I smiled at the voice on the phone. "Hi Kat. It's been awhile but you still sound the same."

We talked for a long time as I told the story for the second time today. It did sound preposterous in some places; I wouldn't have believed it either if someone had walked up to me and started telling it to me out of the blue. But Kat knew me, and she knew I wouldn't lie, or be taken in by a wild story. We sort of became friends by proximity when Kat was dating my old roommate, Amelia. She was always at our apartment and at first we didn't have much to do with each other, just saw each other as a necessary evil, but somewhere along the line we started talking when Kat would call Amelia, and the next thing we knew we were friends, long after Amelia was out of the picture. Kat was the only one of my friends who knew what it was like to be gay in an Irish Catholic family and so we got each other.

"She wants to help us," I told Paul and Charlotte, who were waiting in the den when I finally hung up. Daniel had been listening the whole time Kat and I talked, and I'd consulted with him as we made plans for tomorrow, so he already knew that she was ready to do whatever we needed. I knew this story would be too good for her to pass up. She wanted to help a friend, of course, but a good exclusive like this might even land her a front page piece, or even her own column. The danger was worth it to her.

"We're going to meet her at her apartment tomorrow and she's going to contact Wyman for us and arrange a meeting."

Paul nodded thoughtfully. "That's good. I've been thinking, Daniel. Rylan's vehicle has been identified so the cops are going to be on the lookout for it." He and Charlotte exchanged looks. "We want you to take our car in the morning."

"We couldn't..."

Paul cut off Daniel's protest. "The way I see it, you don't have a choice. Rylan's truck is locked in the barn, but maybe you'll be well on your way when they find it. You need to get out of here in the morning as soon as you can and I've got the Subaru all gassed up and ready to go. It won't be long before the police come to the farmhouse looking for you, and then they'll come here."

"Fuck," Daniel cursed, while my heart started to thump in my chest. It was all becoming real now. "I left my gun at the farm."

"The snowmobile has a headlight." Paul got up from his recliner. "Come on. I'll take you over there right now so you can leave early in the morning."

"Go," I told Daniel when he looked over at me. The kids had gone into their rooms so I brushed a kiss over his lips as he and Paul went to get their cold weather gear on. When they had gone, I sat down next to Charlotte and took a deep breath. She wrapped her arms around me comfortingly.

"Don't be scared, Squirrel Bait."

"I can't help it," I admitted. I buried my face in the sweet-smelling strawberry blonde hair draped over her shoulder. "For him, not for myself. They'll kill him if they can. These people are totally ruthless." What we saw in Birmingham proved that.

"He won't let that happen." Charlotte patted my back. "Daniel knows what he's doing, baby. He's gonna take care of you."

"I know." 

"Leave early in the morning, while it's still dark. Don't use the interstate. Don't stop anywhere unless you absolutely have to. Take Highway 16 out to 51 and don't drive fast, but don't drive too slow either, it's suspicious."

I nodded, pulling away. "We'll be careful."

"I know you will. You take care of Daniel, too. He needs you." She smiled at me. "Maybe he doesn't know it yet, but he needs you. Now go down and get some rest. I'll send him down when they get back. Try not to worry too much, Ry. I know it'll all work out."

I did what she said, but the fear dogged me. There was a lot at stake here. I couldn't lie; I didn't give a damn about Daniel's investigation. It could all go to hell for all I cared. It was Daniel's cause, his mission, but there was no way I was letting him sacrifice his life for it. He was going to live whether he liked it or not.

*****


Chapter 25

"No. It's not safe."

"I'm not letting you go alone."

Daniel stared down at me, and then he sat down on the side of the bed and faced me. I'd waited until he came back from the farmhouse with Paul and I was naked and waiting for him in bed before I told him that whatever happened in Chicago, I was going with him. That I wasn't leaving him.

"I don't want to argue with you." He tried to look directly into my face, but his eyes kept sliding down my chest to where the blankets were bunched around my hips, exposing my belly button and the edge of my pubic hair when I deliberately shifted. 

"Then don't." He didn't know yet that it was pointless to argue with me anyway, but he would learn soon enough. I grinned at him to take away the edge of my words and I wiggled a bit to let the covers ride down even more so I could show him that my dick was getting hard just from his walking into the room. "It must've been cold out there on that snowmobile, all dark and icy with the snow blowing in your face," I said sympathetically.

"Yeah. Very cold." He nodded while staring at my crotch. 

I reached up and ran my hand over his smooth scalp. The soft blonde stubble was as silky as kitten fur under my touch. He shuddered, drawing in a breath. I grinned because I knew exactly what it did to him, and it excited me knowing my touch could make him shiver. I drew his head closer and brushed my lips over his hairline, then the outer edge of his ear, cold to my lips. He bit his lip when I murmured softly, stroking the soft curve of his neck. Before I met him, I never knew just how sexy an exposed neck could be. So much male beauty there in the fluid muscles across the shoulders, that graceful arch of the spine into the base of the head.

"Then maybe you need to get some of those clothes off and get under the covers where it's warm."

I lifted the edge of the covers to invite him in. His eyes never left my naked skin while he stood up and hastily pulled his clothes off, kicking them aside impatiently. The impending argument was totally forgotten, of course. I forgot it myself the second his body slid next to mine and I pulled the covers up and enveloped us both in the warmth.

"Fuck, you are cold." I gasped with shock when his icy hands and feet sought out my heat.

"Warm me up," he growled roughly. 

"We need to get your blood pumping." I closed my lips around the outer edge of his ear. It was cold to my lips. I nibbled and felt him shiver. I liked making him shiver. I draped myself over him and wrapped my arms around him until the chill went away. His hard cock jabbed me in the belly right next to mine and I slowly rubbed my hips against his. A little explosion like the pop of a firecracker went off and radiated up through my core. He moaned softly. Fuck. We had to be so quiet in this houseful of people

"That's better," he whispered. His tongue peeped out and I met it with mine. We kissed with just our tongues before I caught the back of his neck and attacked his mouth.

Fuck he tastes sweet. A sheen of sweat breaks out over me. I smother a moan into his mouth, tasting him, clinging to his tongue while he deliberately thrusts it in and withdraws, slowly fucking my mouth.

His hands slide down my back. He gives me a wicked grin as he catches my bottom lip delicately between his front teeth and bites down while at the same time he cups my ass cheeks in his hand and squeezes them. His hands are rough but his teeth are oh so gentle and I squirm and writhe against him, whimpering into his mouth. My cock is so hard and it begins to ache wildly as he manhandles my ass, pulling my cheeks apart, roughly spreading my hole. It tingles as the cool air brushes it.

"Daniel," I breathe. Desperate, pleading. I'll have tiny bruises on my ass but I don't care.

He tugs at me. It takes a second to figure out what he wants but then I get on my hands and knees and crawl up him. He stares up into my eyes. My balls trailing up the smooth skin of his belly and then his chest makes my knees quiver. His skin is damp with sweat between my thighs, firm hands on my ass. I am both afraid and secretly hope he'll bring his hand down across them in a sharp slap but he doesn't and I can't ask. 

"Sit on my face."

My breath catches in my throat. I bite my lip, shuddering. I brace my hands against the wall and lean into them. Glimpse of his wicked flashing eyes between my thighs under my balls, then his hands are pulling my ass open and his tongue twirls around my hole and then dances away. He licks and sucks that spot just under my balls until I'm whimpering between my clenched teeth. Can't make a sound. Want his tongue in my ass, his fingers, something, such a tease, that devilish tongue flicking my hole then darting away leaving me empty and aching, knees trembling, cock dripping slowly down onto the sheets. I arch my back, suspended in his torment.

"Fuck, Daniel," I whisper.

He hums into the crack of my ass and the vibration nearly makes me fall over. I buck my hips down and then his tongue slips into my ass. It feels so fucking good. I twist endlessly and then his finger slides inside me. The slight burning shoots a thin streak of pleasure up my spine. Flash of him on his knees with his ass spread for me so wanton and slutty demanding more. The first night we ever fucked. Another finger slips past the tight ring of my ass alongside the first one in a slow twisting motion. I clamp my mouth shut on a cry of both pleasure and frustration because it feels so good but I want his cock now that I can have it after waiting for so long.

He pushes me off him. His face is flushed and mouth red and swollen from tongue-fucking my ass. I can't stop staring at it as he reaches over and grabs a condom and the lube. My hands are trembling too badly to get the package open so he takes it from me and sheathes his cock in the thin, slimy latex. I slick him up with lube until he moans softly and stops me but I don't use it on myself because I want to feel that deep, satisfying burn as he sinks in me to the hilt, stretching me so wide...

"Oh god."

"Shhh." He breathes in the dark and I look down at his face as I straddle his hips on my knees. His cock brushes my balls from beneath and his body is stretched out under me...golden skin, tight flushed nipples, abs rippling and his arms... love his arms, the smooth hard curve of his biceps, that line of corded muscle down his forearms, wrists, then his hand reaching up to grip my left hip. My other hand wraps around the base of his cock to hold it steady so I can slide down on it. His eyes stare into mine clouded with lust.

His cock splits me. I wince at the pinch but the pain shoots out in delicious tingles and radiates into my fingers and toes. He grips my hips and moves fluidly under me, staring into my eyes as I sink down on him. Oh god, his cock. So fucking warm and feels so good filling me. I watch him bite his bottom lip to keep from crying out with pleasure, falling into the moment. Our skin slides together and my thigh muscles tense, taking him deeper. Love you Daniel. 

I shouldn't speak, need to be quiet but I can't stop myself. 

"How do I feel?" I whisper. I stare at his eyes, watch them roll back into his head as I slowly begin to ride him, watch him struggle to form words. 

"So good," he breathes. 

"Tight?" I feel his cock brush the edge of that little spot inside me and I almost can't speak from the waves of pleasure but this feels important.

"Fuck yeah... so tight... Mmm." He lets out a deep growl as I take him all inside me to the hilt. I'm sitting on him and all words and thoughts are gone in the feeling of him pounding inside me, lifting his hips in rhythm to my thrusts. The bed bucks against the wall in light thuds. Shit. I put my hands to the wall and push backward; it quiets a bit. I stare down at him and his red face and his lips so luscious, trying not to make a sound, while our light panting breaths filled the space and I rode his cock so it swiped over my prostate again and again, hitting it and pulling away, hard and fast. The power was unbelievable.

He drew his knees up and I leaned backward and gripped his thighs for support, arching my back, face to the ceiling. Oh fuck, the pleasure was so intense. I groaned deep in my throat. My orgasm unfurled at the base of my spine and his hand came up and pressed against my belly and then I was done. I dropped forward, locking my mouth onto his. I cried out my pleasure into his mouth, muffling the sounds as I shot between us, climaxing silently in hard intense shattering bursts. Rippling around him in waves, felt him tense, felt him grab me hard when he came. Hips stopped moving and I swear I felt him pulsing inside me, going slowly limp with contentment.

"Oh my god, Daniel," I breathed in his ear. He hugged me hard and we started laughing like two giddy teenagers. My heart gave a jump when the dark shadow of tomorrow fell over me and I suddenly grabbed him and held on tight until my stomach stopped flipping.

A steamy shower relaxed us both even more, but when we had gotten back into bed and curled up under the blankets, tangled together, I didn't want to sleep. Not when time felt so short.

The small basement window offered only a faint silver glow in the dark room but it was enough to see his face on the pillow next to mine, turned to face me. His eyes were closed and his breath was soft and even. His thigh was thrown over mine, a comforting weight. The uncertainty of what was going to happen to him was more than I could stand.

"Daniel?"

"Mmm."

"You asleep?"

"Mmmmno." He cleared the sleep from his voice.

"You and Ray... how long were you together?" I asked softly.

"Four years," he answered drowsily. "But we knew each other in high school, so we were never strangers. Like we'd always been a part of each other."

"Really?" I thought of something. "It doesn't bother you to talk about him does it?"

"No, it's okay." He smiled with his eyes closed. "He was four years older than me so he was a senior when I was a freshman. We were on the wrestling team together but he wasn't in my weight class so I never wrestled him... I was just aware of him, watched him, the big hunky Puerto Rican guy who never seemed to notice me."

"Ray was Puerto Rican?" I don't know why that surprised me but it did.

"Yeah. His name was Ramon but nobody got to call him that but his mother." Daniel smiled faintly and opened his eyes, looking up at a point past my head. "He did notice me, though. When I joined Tallahassee Vice after I got out of the Army, he remembered me right away. I didn't know he was gay in high school, but then again, I didn't know I was either. He took me under his wing on the force, helped me, watched my back on the streets and in the office. He made sure I stayed safe out in the clubs too. I cleaned up my act a lot because I couldn't face him with some of the things I was doing. We were such good friends, we were so comfortable with each other, I didn't want to screw up our friendship by bringing sex into it but eventually it just happened. We slept together a few times... then I was staying in with him instead of going out at night... and the next thing we knew we were in love, and then we were moving in together."

I put my arm over him and held him tight. I didn't want him to keep on if it hurt too much, but he seemed calm if a bit sad so I didn't interrupt.

"We didn't keep it a secret on the force, but it's not a widely accepted thing either, so we were discreet about it. I hated not being able to tell the world he was mine, but he always knew the right things to say to keep me from getting bitter. I'd always said I'd never live that happy-hetero suburban life with a husband and a picket fence but I was, and I so happy I didn't care. We agreed on an open relationship but neither of us wanted anyone else. I only wanted Ray."




Between the Bars Pt. 05



His body tensed. I stroked his back and he tipped his forehead into my arm.

"We were always so busy. Always working late, always giving everything to the force. Ray was involved in a shelter for runaways and he gave so much of his time helping those kids. Never wanted thanks, just did it because someone had to. We always meant to take a vacation and get away, spend some time just the two of us, but we kept putting it off, thinking we had plenty of time next year. But then our time ran out."

I felt him swallow hard and I rolled to my side and drew him closer, resting my chin on top of his head. 

"I was a pallbearer at the funeral. I didn't have to, but I wanted to. I couldn't just watch while they put him in a hole in the ground."

"Daniel..." I whispered his name so lovingly. I'd do anything to take his pain away but I couldn't, nothing could. I could only hold him tight.

"I stood there watching while everyone gave their condolences to his mother. They presented the flag to her and she received all his honors. Once he'd come out as gay, she barely spoke a word to him... she didn't even look at me the whole time. Our friends on the force who knew about us couldn't even acknowledge me publicly. It just felt so hollow, a sham. The next day I was back at work, going through the motions, but I wasn't even sure I wanted to keep going. My friends watched me and kept me from taking stupid risks, but for awhile I didn't care if I lived or died."

I cringed. "Ray wouldn't have wanted that," I told him softly.

"I know. That's the only thing that stopped me from giving up. He would've wanted me to keep going and so I did. Joining IAD to get Adkins made me focus on something other than coming home to an empty house. I started doing normal things again, going out to bars, hanging out with friends, fucking, but I just felt so tired inside..."

"Empty."

"Right. Exactly."

"And what about now?" I whispered. I knew I shouldn't pressure him but I just wanted some inkling that he had feelings for me. Something more than just casual, more than just a fuck, even if it was selfish. I felt it, yeah, but I just wanted to hear it.

"Now? I just want to get through this... to finish the job, and to keep you from getting hurt. Although, if you'd just listen to me, it would make that part a hell of a lot easier."

Despite the bitchy note that crept into his voice, I hugged him and smiled as I relaxed into sleep. It wasn't exactly the declaration I wanted, but it proved he cared. He wasn't going to deliberately get himself killed because he suddenly had something to live for. Even if he couldn't say it aloud, it was something. For right now, it was enough.

****

Author's note: Without the help of the late Colleen Thomas this story could not have been written. Colly, I will never forget your knowledge and your kindness. I miss you.



Between the Bars Pt. 06



Chapter 26

My dick was already hard when I woke up curled around Daniel with his warm bare ass shoved against me. I didn't have to open my eyes to know where I was or what was going on because even in my sleep, he was there. I snuggled against his back while he slept heavily, facing the concrete block wall on his side with his arm thrown over the pillow as the darkness lightened into dark gray shadows. I didn't want to wake him when he was finally peaceful. His sleep was very troubled, at least until I woke him up from a shallow doze with my mouth wrapped around his dick.

Just thinking about last night made me shake all over. My face flushed and I buried it in the naked pillow although there was nobody to hide from but myself. Last night, after we'd talked and then slept a bit, his flesh was so hot under the blankets with the darkness pressing down on us. We stroked and licked and groped, all hands and mouths and sweaty skin, sloppy uncoordinated kisses, clashing teeth and seeking tongues. Daniel's hands came down to squeeze my ass and I suddenly froze as the sensation of his hands sent wild tingles through me and I wanted... My heart thumped madly in my mouth. I couldn't tell him, I couldn't ask. I wanted it, I ached for it, but I didn't know how to put my need into words. I couldn't. I just trembled under his touch and stared into the dark where I could see the faint gleam of his eyes.

I didn't have to ask.

I don't know how he knew, but he did. 

At first, I worried. When he rolled me over and pushed me to my knees. The bed might squeak and pound the wall. What if someone wakes up, what if Charlotte or Paul or the kids hear the sharp sound of hand on flesh? Charlotte will know even if the kids have no idea what they're hearing. She would know and tell Paul and they'll talk about me, discuss the situation. That I let Daniel spank me, that I moaned with pleasure from it. What will they think? Of me?

But then he'd stripped the pillowcase off and wrapped it around my wrists, snug but not tight, and pushed my hands over my head so my fingers curled around the edge of the mattress and I stopped thinking. Thinking about things wasn't my responsibility anymore. No thoughts, no decisions, no shame, just floating. Delirious. Quivering in a non-thinking sexual cloud just surrounded by danieldanieldaniel and nothing else, his voice in my ear telling me everything he's doing while his hands give such lovely stinging attention to my ass. Then fucks me hard on my knees from behind and when I cum, and then cum again, it's not the end, just another moment in a series of moments that blow my fucking mind. 

The orgasm didn't matter that much because it started happening in my mind the minute he started this and didn't stop until I fell asleep groggy and exhausted and aching in a damp pile tangled in Daniel's arms and legs. He slept too, barely moving at all. 

I used to think I was an accomplished top. In the lifting gray shadow, I stared at his peaceful shape while he slept, thinking about what he'd told me last night. I wasn't really listening in my cloud but apparently, it sank in anyway. That bottoms actually have more control. Something about giving up control making me more powerful. Making him responsible for me, always aware of my feelings and my pleasure. I loved that he was doing that for me but I'd sure as hell never done it for anyone before him. I thought I was a good top because everyone got off, but it was really about me. I didn't know how to be a good top because I'd never had one. Daniel said that the first night at the farmhouse and he was right. He knew.

Now he was teaching me the way Ray taught him. It had to be Ray. Strong but loving. You don't learn that on your own. He'd started showing it to me when he was handcuffed to the chair. Maybe somewhere along the line, somebody has shown Matt.

Matt. Fuck. I rubbed my nose and my lips against Daniel's neck. Matt stopped entering my mind years ago, except in random thoughts. When I was in graduate school, he tried to contact me through my grandparents but I deliberately lost his number. I didn't have anything to say to him, not even "fuck off."

"Hey." 

Daniel looked over his shoulder and smiled at me, that incredibly sexy sleepy smile, his ass shifted against my crotch and everything else was just gone. I pulled him backward and pushed my tongue in his mouth. I didn't care about morning breath. Just a little more time, steal a few more minutes. My hands wandered over his body memorizing every hard curve and every inch of skin, while he closed his eyes and panted, rubbing against my touch like a cat. My cock slid between the muscular cheeks of his ass. 

I snaked my hand around his hip, stroked his shaft and caressed his balls. He purred in his throat. I pushed him to his stomach and licked down his back. He caught the edge of the mattress. For a second, I paused and just stared at all that naked male perfection, his shoulders and arms and back, lean and smooth and rippling with muscle, spread out like a feast for me to devour. Then, I raked my fingertips from his hands all the way down his arms, over his shoulders and back, down over the shallow dips of hard muscle to his round, sweet ass cheeks. My dick leaked a slippery trail over his right thigh. 

My tongue gravitated toward that place that always drew me, the valley at the top of his crack, drawing his ass cheeks apart to breathe on his tender pucker. It was too dark for me to see his hole; it was just a shadow between his pale cheeks. He shivered and buried his face in the pillow. 

I found his hole with my tongue and circled it delicately, sucking at it lightly and breathing in the light cinnamon scent while his hips jerked. I loved watching him flinch and shudder and rub his cock against the mattress. I loved watching him mouth the pillow to keep from making a sound. The rising sun gave me more light to see him by, see how he moved and responded as I slowly tongue-fucked him. Making him feel good was suddenly my everything. 

He pushed his ass back into my face and I buried my tongue in his tight hole. I felt it flex, wanting more, telling me what he wanted. A touch of lube and I slid two fingers inside him, and he lifted his ass with a little moan he couldn't bite back. 

"Want to make you feel so good," I told him. He whimpered in response and I smiled, licking the underside of his balls while I slid my fingers in and out. "Does it feel good?" I breathed on his hole.

"Yes." Daniel drew his knees under him and arched his back, face still buried in the pillow. For some reason, that made me tremble with excitement, knowing he couldn't make a sound or everyone would hear. His hole twitched around my fingers, fluttering, coaxing. On my knees, I quickly got ready and then I pushed him over to his back. I wanted to see his face. His legs slipped around my waist, pulling me into him. He caught my neck and dragged me down to kiss him. We both sighed with such relief I slid into him and stopped.

We stared at each other as I slowly started to thrust. God oh god, my dick demanded to fuck him hard and fast but I held back, letting him set the pace. I watched his face, his reactions, felt his body. When I relaxed and stopped thinking about the tingling knot of pressure building inside my balls, I felt him and I could feel exactly what he needed, it was like slipping out of my own body into his and it was fucking ecstasy. 

He smiled up at my wide startled eyes, caught my mouth and kissed me and pulled me into him harder and I was lost. I angled my thrusts upward and twisted my hips, fucking giddy, intent, shaking, watching him as he threw his head back and bit his lip as my thrusts hit his prostate. I slid my hand over his scalp and rubbed it in between thrusts and Daniel started making this low, growling whimper in his throat. Around my dick, the muscles of his tight ass began to clench in hard spasms. 

I looked at his face just in time to see his surprise. The whimper broke free of his throat and spilled out his lips the moment he grabbed my biceps in a hard grip. He writhed as his dick erupted and shot his hot cum between us, without either one of us touching it. I kept hitting his prostate but much more gently, staring down at him in wonder, the way his face got flushed and the way the muscles of his ass throbbed around my dick and it felt so fucking good I couldn't stand it. A deep tingling ache quivered through me and I dropped my head and locked my open mouth over his. With starbursts popping behind my eyes, I moaned and gasped into his mouth while he watched me cum with silent delight. Finally, I fell forward onto his sticky chest and he held me as we both broke into giddy laughter, and his hands went all over my back and my ass, kneading and squeezing, reassuring and greedy.

"Jesus Christ, Rylan. What did you do?" 

"Let's see... rimmed you, then fucked the hell out of you?"

"Yeah. That's it." He laughed softly and then got very still. "We need to get up, you know," he whispered as if not saying it aloud would lessen the blow. I pulled out and rolled over onto my back beside him. My stomach clenched with anxiety and fear as the reality of what faced us crashed down on me all over again.

"I know."

Hiding in my aunt's basement, in this bed, wasn't going to make it go away. His hand wrapped around mine and gave it a hard squeeze before he slid out of bed and padded naked to the bathroom. We showered and dressed in silence, with the grayness outside the small basement windows lifting relentlessly into daylight. As I stripped the cum-stained sheets off the bed, I caught sight of Daniel near the door, loading his gun with deft fingers, and I stopped and stared at him, my stomach tying in knots. Yeah, somewhere in the time we'd spent in the farmhouse I'd forgotten the hard, ass-kicking cop side of him and seeing it so blatantly knocked the wind out of me. It reminded me how much about him I didn't know and that scared me, but I knew he needed it because that was what would keep him alive. He slid the gun into the back of his jeans and buttoned the flannel shirt over it.

He saw me looking. "Know how to use one?"

I nodded. My grandpa taught me everything about guns when I was still in elementary school. 

Trying so hard not to worry, not to choke with fear for him. It wouldn't help. I had to be calm and focused so I could watch his back, since that was all I could do to help him. He didn't want me involved, but he needed my eyes and my mind's ability to see clearly, even if it took time. Like Charlotte said, he might not know it yet, but he needed me. He needed me and I wasn't going to fail him.

Upstairs, Charlotte was already in the kitchen with a full pot of coffee and plates of breakfast while Paul sat quietly at the table eating. The kids were obviously still in bed. A sliver of sun pierced the edge of the field and flooded the landscape with sharp icy glitter and long, indigo shadows. I shook my head doubtfully when she pointed to a plate of eggs, bacon and toast, hand on my stomach.

"I don't think I can."

"You need to eat," Charlotte said much more gently than usual. I could see the anxiety in her eyes even though she tried to hide it. "Please, Ry. Who knows when you'll get another chance."

"She's right," Daniel added. Despite the urgency to get on the road, he nodded at me encouragingly and we sat down to eat. Nobody spoke. My food made a lump in my throat. When Daniel put his fork down, I jumped.

"Be careful." Charlotte put her hand on his shoulder. 

"I will." He hugged her suddenly. "Thank you."

She kissed his cheek and pulled away, turning to me. Smiling through the worry. "Hey, Squirrel Bait. Don't do anything stupid, okay?"

"You know me," I shrugged.

She put her hands on my shoulders. "That's what I'm worried about." We tried to smile but then she was hugging me hard, whispering in my ear. "Please be careful, Ry. Don't want you hurt. Take care of him, Daniel."

"I will," Daniel answered. Paul was standing now, handing Daniel the keys to the Subaru Outback we'd be driving to Chicago. 

"If something happens and we can help, call." Paul looked Daniel straight in the eyes and I loved my aunt's husband so much right then. I'd never known anyone so straightforward and honest, willing to do anything to help if it was the right thing to do. These two were risking a lot for us. If things went bad, it could come down on them, but it didn't matter to them because that was just the way people did things around here. I could tell Daniel was a little overcome by all this, he struggled for something appropriate to say, but finally, Paul just reached out and shook his hand and told him to go.

"Don't be a hero. Stick to your plan, and take care of Ry for us."

We headed out the door then, before things got emotional, throwing our few things into the backseat. The car was filled with gas and hopefully it would be enough to get us all the way there. The plan was to stick to the back roads, and not to stop unless we absolutely couldn't help it, which should put us at Kat's place before noon. The scenery on the state highways from here to Chicago was mostly endless fields and barns, with the occasional pig farm you could smell miles away. The few small towns we'd encounter would be easy enough to avoid. There was a map in the glove compartment but I knew the way. Anytime I'd gone on a trip to the big city with my grandpa, we always took the back roads because of his irrational hatred of interstates. There might be some state cops here and there, but if anyone just happened to run Paul's plates, nothing suspicious would turn up. A lot could go wrong, but there was nothing else we could do. We had to try it.

****


Chapter 27

"So many fucking cops. Are there always this many cops?" 

The closer we got to Chicago it seemed like police cars were everywhere and every time I saw one my heart jumped straight into my mouth and my stomach churned. I was at the wheel now because I knew the roads from my years at Northwestern. My knuckles were white and my eyes constantly checked the rearview mirror.

"They're always there," Daniel answered calmly. "But you only notice them when you're doing something illegal."

"Oh, like speeding, or aiding and abetting a fugitive?"

He shot me a look. "Ray used to do that," he finally said. "Made jokes about things when he got scared." He kept looking at me thoughtfully. "It's funny. You remind me of him sometimes."

My ego didn't like him saying the word "scared," but I was, and fear makes me snappy. "I can see how you'd get me confused with a big Puerto Rican cop." 

"It's not that," he ignored my smart-ass comment. "You're nothing like him but there are just times when I see things about him in you. Like your sense of humor, and your bravery."

"Brave? Daniel, I'm scared as hell." I laughed nervously.

"So am I. Only idiots have no fear. When I first joined vice, Ray was on the team for my first raid. I put on this macho act that I wasn't scared of anything, and I remember him telling me it was bullshit. That brave people do their jobs despite being afraid. The adrenaline fear creates keeps you alert and cautious. If you lose that, you lose your edge and somebody could die."

"I must be pretty brave then after all." I managed a laugh.

"You are." 

He smiled at me and once again, did that thing where he kept looking at me, long enough for me to lift an eyebrow and say, "What?"

"Nothing." Shrugging, he looked away out the windshield. "Ray would like you, I think."

I thought I knew what that meant and my heart actually skipped a beat. It sounds ridiculous, but it felt like it was about to jump out of my chest. Just a little more time. We just have to finish this. When it was finished, we could move on. Although, I wasn't sure what we were moving on to, and I wasn't going to think about it until I had to. Right now, I couldn't dwell on the fact that Daniel lived in Tallahassee and I lived in Atlanta, and that my life would bore him to death. All that was on hold.

"You know where we're going, right?"

This time I shot him the look. "I get you where you need to go, don't I?" I asked, making him remember how I got him out of St. Louis to the relative safety of the farmhouse. The reference wasn't lost on him. He nodded and answered softly.

"I trust you."

For a moment, I flew. For a cop in a dangerous situation, trusting the wrong person could be fatal, and the fact that he put his trust in me meant everything. As I took the city streets toward Wicker Park where my friend Kat lived, we were silent but I couldn't stop a silly grin from creeping over my face from time to time, even if it was out of place right now. Daniel sat next to me, quiet with his own thoughts, and I kept stealing glances at him. He caught my eyes and smiled and slid his hand over onto my thigh, a gentle and reassuring pressure. 

According to the numbers on the buildings, Kat lived just up the block. I swallowed the panic that rose up in my throat and looked over at Daniel. He looked a bit pale himself but he lightly squeezed my thigh and we traded a shaky smile. 

The only parking was on the street in front of Kat's building. It was freezing, as Chicago in December usually is, so at least everyone else was wrapped up in bulky coats and hats, with sunglasses over their eyes, and we didn't stand out with our cold weather gear that protected us from recognition just as much as the elements. Even so, with our pictures on the news there was still a chance someone might get a good look at us. Every cop in the city was on alert. Logically, I knew they had no reason to be watching Kat, but that didn't stop my gut from lurching.

When we got out of the car and walked through the icy chunks of old snow onto the sidewalk up to the door, I had the panicky feeling that Daniel was out in the open and exposed like a hunted rabbit. Fuck. I wanted to grab his arm, put myself between him and the world, but I didn't want anyone to look our way for any reason, and even here in Wicker Park, people might stare. I just wanted him safe. My heart was banging against my chest when we slid into the cold little lobby and pushed Kat's buzzer.

"Rylan, get the fuck in here!"

The door burst open, someone grabbed me and I had an armful of a foul-mouthed little whirlwind with butch-cut black hair, dragging me into the hallway with one hand while latching onto Daniel's coat with the other fist, talking and talking.

"Been glued to the news all morning, just knew I'd see you on CNN in the back of a state patrol car. Made it okay, no trouble, no roadblocks or car-to-car searches on the interstate?"

"Yeah, we stuck to the back roads and it was fine," I assured her. I laughed apologetically over to Daniel who looked both bewildered and amused. "This is my friend Kat."

"Kat Grissom with the Sun-Times." She stuck out her hand to him as she swung her apartment door open, checking him out with her blue eyes that saw everything all at once. "And you're Detective Daniel Braden."

"Pleased to meet you, ma'am." He shook her hand. That Southern charm of his was innate and effortless and even Kat, hard-assed cynical Chicagoan that she was, melted a bit even as she lifted an eyebrow skeptically. 

"Uh-huh. Come on in, guys, just throw your things over there in that chair. I want to go over some of the facts with you. I've got my editor clued in and we're ready and waiting. As soon as you furnish us with proof, we're ready to proceed." 

She stood by talking while we put down the few things we'd brought and stripped off all the cold-weather gear. The relief of simply making it here without anything happening made my knees feel a little shaky and Daniel had been waiting at least an hour to go to the bathroom. He slid his gun out of his waistband - he'd moved it from the back to the side while we were in the car, so he wouldn't be sitting on it - and tucked it into his bag before he disappeared down the hallway Kat pointed him. 




Between the Bars Pt. 06



Kat fed us gourmet-shop chicken fettuccine she had stashed in the fridge. I wasn't truly hungry so I just picked at it, but Daniel ate his dutifully. Something he learned to do in the Army, eat whenever he could. Perched on the edge of a stool while we ate at the kitchen island, Kat got us up to speed.

"I'm supposed to meet Scott Wyman tonight outside the precinct so we can talk about the case. I thought I'd bring him back here, where you two will be waiting, and you can talk to him, Daniel, and convince him to get into the Chicago PD network and download your video files to my system, and I'll send them to the server at the Times for safekeeping. Once it's there, I can break that part of the story and you'll be instantly proven innocent in front of the world." She grinned. The Pulitzer Prize was probably dancing through her head. 

"What if Wyman doesn't want to be convinced?" I asked. She blinked at me like she hadn't even thought of that when it seemed obvious to me. "You can't just break his fingers and force him."

"I can," Daniel said under his breath. He grinned at me, and at Kat who was looking worried, wondering if her plan had holes in it. "Don't worry. Once I talk to him, he'll do it. I'm very persuasive. And while he's here, he can tell me where he's keeping the rest of the evidence in the case against Adkins, and I can take him with me to pick it up, just in case he tries to fuck me over again."

Though he was just as matter-of-fact as always, I sensed a hard edge in his words. I also didn't fail to notice that he was using "I" and "me" again; it was back to being a solo effort. I knew it was only because he wanted to protect me, but if he thought I was just going to let him push me aside, he had another thing coming.

We talked over a few things while we ate and Kat typed a few notes on her laptop on the counter next to her. Her apartment, though pleasant and airy, was small and I couldn't help feeling claustrophobic. For once, I was the one pacing restlessly, while Daniel sat still at the center island carefully reviewing Kat's notes. When the door buzzer went off, though, we both jumped out of our skins.

Daniel was instantly on his feet, hand darting behind him for the handle of his gun before he realized it wasn't there. "Who's that?" 

"Don't worry," she told us, going for the intercom. "That's just Alex Stanbury, a colleague from the Times. We can trust him." She pushed the button and said "Alex?" into the intercom. A male voice answered "Yup."

"Why'd you call him over here?" Daniel was still jumpy and displeased.

She paused before buzzing Alex in. "Because when I go to meet Wyman, it wouldn't be smart to go alone, and neither one of you can get that close to the station. I called him for backup, and he's also very good with computers in case we need help with Wyman."

Suspicion still lingered in Daniel's eyed but he knew Kat was thinking straight and he nodded his head. She hit the buzzer and a few minutes later, heavy footsteps came up the hallway. Kat opened the door and let in a big, round young man with a sweet face somewhere in the scruffy beard and wool cap. He smiled shyly and shook our hands when Kat introduced us all. Along with the teddy-bear cuddliness, there was a definite gay vibe in the way he looked at Daniel when he thought nobody noticed.

The minute Alex sat down at his laptop, his awkwardness disappeared. In just a few seconds, he was working with Daniel to get past the Tampa PD's intranet security codes. He didn't even need the USB. His fingers flew over the keyboard and when I saw Daniel turn and look at him with something approaching awe over a brilliant point he'd made, I actually felt a stab of jealousy. Fuck, I hadn't been jealous in so long I didn't even think I felt it anymore. I didn't like it and I squelched it immediately, so he would never suspect. I trusted Daniel and I wouldn't put the burden of being responsible for my feelings on him. Soon enough, I had myself almost convinced I'd never felt it at all. Nope, not me.

There was no way I could keep up with the technical aspects of the conversation between Alex and Daniel, even as Alex patiently explained everything in layman's terms. Kat was talking at great length into her cell phone, gesturing as she paced around the apartment, so I used her desktop computer to log into my own email. There were quite a few frantic and worried messages from friends who'd seen me on the news, and about a dozen each from my editor Nick and Lauren, my agent, but I couldn't answer them. The words blurred as I read fear and despair from Josie and Drew and Lauren. Bringing my dear friends such worry broke my heart. But if someone was watching them, waiting for me to make contact, an ISP address could be logged and lead to my whereabouts, and Daniel's, and all this would be for nothing. 

****


Chapter 28

"I hope you're not planning on doing anything...-"

"Stupid?" Daniel supplied when I stopped to consider my words. 

"I was going to say risky. But stupid works." I nodded and he laughed slightly. 

"Don't worry, Ry. I didn't come all this way to fuck up now." 

He stared out the windshield into the dark, lit by streetlights and the bright circles of slow oncoming headlights, squinting in concentration. In the front seat, Alex was at the wheel of Kat's SUV. The tinted side windows protected Daniel and I from being seen while we sat here waiting for Kat to arrive in Alex's car with Scott Wyman. Night had fallen and we were parked on a side street about a mile from the station house where Wyman had just gotten off his shift. Daniel thought this was a better, safer plan than sending Kat and Alex to bring him back to the apartment; he felt like less would go wrong if he were there himself. At first, he tried to get me to stay at the apartment, but when I pointed out he might need extra backup if Wyman freaked out, he couldn't argue with my logic. 

"I think this is them," Alex mumbled softly. 

I tensed up and expected Daniel to do the same, but he didn't. When I glanced over at him, he was casual and relaxed with no sign of nervousness. Just a cold gleam in his eyes that reflected in the headlights. He leaned back into the corner of the seat, staying out of the light, while we watched Alex's car stop of the other side of the street. Kat and a guy who had to be Scott Wyman crossed the snow-scraped street and came closer to the car. Wyman looked confused and skeptical, arguing with Kat as she opened the passenger side front door, right in front of me.

As he got in, he was protesting and then Kat slammed the door behind him. Alex hit the locks and Wyman's face dawned with alarmed realization, eyes flickering around, demanding what the hell was happening as the vehicle moved away from the curb. At the same time, Daniel sat up out of the shadow.

"Hey Scott," he said in a low, even voice. His gun was nowhere in sight, but I knew it could be in his hand in an instant. Wyman gasped and stared at Daniel with his mouth hanging open; and then I watched a huge grin spread over his face.

"Fuck. Danny. It's you. With this manhunt and what I heard about St. Louis, I didn't know what to think."

"I'll bet," Daniel said evenly. 

"What in the hell happened, man?" Wyman went on seemingly oblivious to Daniel's demeanor. Odd, very odd. "They said you evaded capture but you were headed there to help them. Did somebody set you up?"

"You tell me, Scott."

The way the man's eyes flew open was almost comical. He was average looking, nothing special, not like Daniel. Just a solid-looking guy in khakis and a parka who probably had a wife and kids and a picket fence.

"You don't think I had anything to do with..." When he finally looked in Daniel's eyes in the dim light of the streetlights passing by, he started shaking his head adamantly. "I didn't, Danny, I swear. I didn't know anything about a set-up, the orders came down from the captain and I was just..."

"Just following orders," Daniel finished with a slight sneer. "Did you have the orders checked out? Did you follow up with them and then double check just in case, or did you just leave me out in the fucking cold? Yeah, I thought so."

"But the captain came in my office with an FBI agent and told me exactly what I told you, I didn't have any idea it wasn't legit."

"So your captain's in on it too."

Wyman's eyes bugged out. "Never noticed anything off before."

"We both know that's no guarantee." He growled, and I knew his thoughts were on Olmos, his own captain, the one person he thought he could trust.

"No, but you believe me, don't you Danny? That I didn't turn on you? You know I wouldn't do that, right?"

Daniel sighed wearily. Something about the way this guy was behaving, like an eager, slobbering puppy rolling over to the alpha male, the way he kept calling him Danny, rubbed me the wrong way. He made my skin crawl, so I was surprised when Daniel finally made a face.

"Yeah," Daniel said grudgingly. "It wasn't intentional but it was still sloppy and it almost got me killed. You can get my trust back by getting past intranet security on the CPD network and downloading my video feed."

"I can do that, no problem." Scott nodded eagerly.

"And as soon as we're done with that, you're going to take me to the rest of the evidence so I can finish this."

Scott's agreement was a little slower this time but Daniel seemed to accept it at face value. Honestly, I couldn't believe it. My instincts were all going against trusting this guy, but I told myself that Daniel knew him better than I did. They were in the Gulf together. I trusted Daniel's gut, but that didn't mean I wasn't watching Scott Wyman's every move. I wasn't taking my eyes off him for a second.

After introducing me to Scott without any explanation of who I was - he hardly needed it with my face all over the news - Daniel spent the rest of the trip back to Kat's telling him an abbreviated version of the events that got us here. When we pulled up in front of Kat's building, I followed along in silence behind Scott, Daniel and Alex as they all discussed the security within the police department's internal network. Yeah, Daniel had it all under control, and I wanted to be relieved. I really did. 


Kat had beaten us back to her apartment and was waiting. In Kat's living room in front of Alex's laptop, Scott remotely accessed the Chicago Police Department's files where he had encoded and stored Daniel's video feed. Everything went smoothly though I could tell by the tension across Daniel's shoulders that he was expecting trouble after what happened to him in the Tallahassee network. With a USB cable, Alex directed it to Kat's computer, remotely hooked up to the Sun-Times' server. Daniel called me over from the couch where I was scribbling in my notebook to keep my mind off my unease.

"Rylan, watch."

They were huddled around a small box on the screen. I had to squint because it was dark, grainy and hard to see but when the action started happening on the screen, it was unmistakable. I wedged myself against Daniel's warm body and he leaned against me. My heart banged in my chest as we both stared at the tiny images. 

I was seeing exactly what he saw that night, seeing through his eyes.

A door leading into a house. The camera shook with Daniel's steps and I could see his hands in the bottom edge, opening the screen door with gun drawn. Another cop with him, walking close. I could see bits and pieces of his body but not his face. Frowning, Alex turned up the volume but when nothing came out, he let out a growl and turned pleadingly apologetic eyes up to Daniel.

"Shit. The audio feed dropped."

"No matter." Daniel shook his head without looking away from the screen. He was grim, but calm. I had to force myself look away from him, back at the screen. I didn't want to look. I knew what was going to happen.

Through the door and down a cluttered hallway. Crappy house like you always see on Cops with a filthy floor. Dim shapes in room with a couch, men in police uniforms. Their faces are grainy but recognizable, for someone who knew them. I heard Kat make a little sound in her throat and I tensed because I knew what was coming. The man, the big cop on the other side of the room, talks to Daniel, his mouth moving silently, and the other cops in the room fidget around nervously, pacing and peering through the shabby blinds like they're waiting for someone. 

The cop on the screen suddenly smiles right at Daniel. This is Sgt. Adkins. There is a scuffle as the officer he came in with knocks around Daniel. The camera jumps and jerks wildly then finally stops close to the floor. Daniel must be on his knees at this point and the periphery of the camera catches the toes of other officer's boots on either side, standing behind Daniel holding him down on the floor. One of the other officers, alert now, comes forward and then appears back in the camera's eye with a gun in his hand, which he hands over to Adkins. Daniel's gun. I just know it. They took Daniel's gun and now he's on his knees, unarmed and helpless. He's standing here right next to me unharmed and whole, but I still feel an overwhelming sick fear and my knees get weak. I want to look away but I can't. I stare at the tiny blurry image on the screen, we all stare as Adkins lifts the gun and points it at Daniel. Smiles and pulls the trigger.

A giant, soundless jolt; something drops onto the floor next to Daniel but beyond the camera's reach. After a moment of confusion, the camera turns and there is a leg, lying on the floor. A body and a river of dark blood. Officer McKee, the one who walked in with Daniel, the one who disarmed him and pushed him to the floor, shot with Daniel's gun. I know he dies. 

The camera can't show us if he was killed instantly or if he's in a pool of blood, in agony. Adkins doesn't even look at him. He just stares at Daniel and grins while the blood seeps closer to where Daniel is motionless on the floor. At Adkins' command, another cop comes forward and drags Daniel to his feet from behind and pushes him face-first against the wall so that all the camera sees is the stained wallpaper. 

And then the camera jolts, the picture turns to static, and goes black.

There was a brief silence in the room, broken by Daniel.

"There's your proof," he muttered.

I started to grab his arm but he moved away from me. I let him go but I looked him in the eyes to make sure he knew that I never doubted it, ever.

"What happened when the camera stopped?" Kat demanded. "How did you get out of there?"

"One of Adkins' men grabbed me and pushed me against the wall. When he did, the camera came loose. He spotted it and ripped it off me and smashed it." Daniel shrugged. "I figured I was already dead by then. Adkins shot McKee with my gun because he wanted everyone to think I was the dirty cop, that I had killed McKee and he was the big hero for bringing me down, to prove to IAD that he couldn't be touched. He was going to arrest me and make sure I was sent to death row. When they found the wire he was about to beat the hell out of me, just to get his point across before he took me in. With so many witnesses from the force, nobody would've believed me."

When I saw him that day in the café, he wasn't bruised and beaten. My mind went back and spun through our first meeting. He looked a little tired, but he didn't show signs of the terrible ordeal he'd been through. It awed me, how this all seemed routine to him.

"But then...?" Kat prompted gently after she'd given him a moment. 

"But then whoever owned the house came home. Or a rival gang or something. I don't know what happened. Thugs were everywhere and shots were fired and I saw a chance to get the fuck out there in the confusion, so I did. When something like that happens, you don't question it. I didn't stop to analyze the situation, I just slipped out the front door though the gunfire and blood and I was gone. I drove around for a while to make sure I wasn't being followed, and then I headed to my safe house. You know the rest from there, I think."

The rest was that he ditched his vehicle, caught a Greyhound to Atlanta and hooked up with me. He could've died. If Adkins had had ten more seconds, Daniel would be dead. My legs turned to water and I had to sit down.

"That's amazing," Alex mumbled from over at the computer. His eyes worshipped Daniel shyly before he looked away blushing. 

Daniel shook his head dismissively. "Nah. Just my job."

"Now that your story has been verified I'm going to put this on the wire," Kat said, going back to her hardened reporter persona. "It won't take long for it to be up on all the news sites," meaning soon, Daniel's innocence would be indisputable. He couldn't be arrested for murder and the police, FBI and ATF would have to move in on this investigation and take over. The relief was staggering.

"Okay Scott," Daniel turned to him as Kat disconnected cables and slid into her chair and Alex typed on his laptop. "Now where's my evidence?"

"Um, see... the thing is, I don't... exactly know."

"You don't know?" Daniel repeated after being speechless for a moment, while Scott squirmed under his ice-cold glare.

"Yeah. Well, when this shit all started to come down with you, I got nervous. I knew they'd figure out that you had a copy of all your evidence, and I knew they'd trace it back to me at some point. I didn't want it nearby in case they started watching me, so I hid it."

"And you don't know where?" Daniel was having a hard time staying calm. It was a rare and unnerving sight, seeing his jaw muscles tense as he struggled not to explode. He started to pace before his excess energy couldn't be contained.

"I... Not exactly. See, I put it in a geocache."

"A what?"

"A geocache," Alex spoke up in his usual shy mumble. "It's a sport, or a game... People put items into a container and post the GPS coordinates on this website forum... and then when someone finds it, they log it."

"Right," Scott nodded. "And I left instructions with the container asking whoever found it to move it to another set of coordinates. It's not lost...I know it's in the Chicago area. All I have to do to find it would be to decode all the coordinates and then track it on a GPS."

"That's all, huh? I can't fucking believe you put evidence in a major nation-wide criminal case into a fucking game, Scott. What the fuck were you thinking?" Daniel remained calm but only just barely.

"Hey, back off, man. I told you I got nervous and I have a family, remember?"

That headed Daniel off. I saw his little intake of breath and his eyes dropped to the floor. I knew he was thinking about Ray. He'd already lost his own family to this. That was enough.

"Okay. Okay. Let's just find this goddamn container of yours before somebody else does."

"No problem." Scott pulled a chair up next to Alex, who was already on the official Global Geocaching website. Daniel watched them, and so did I at first. But the long day of strain and anxiety had me totally drained so I sank down on the couch to keep an eye on Scott. Before I knew it, my eyes were so heavy, I thought I might just close them for a few minutes.

*****


Chapter 29

I woke up sleepy and confused. Daniel was half-reclining next to me in the corner of the big sectional couch, slowly running his fingers through my hair. It was dark except for the glow of Alex's computer on the other side of the room, where he was still hunched over the screen pecking steadily at the keys. 

"Did you find it?" I asked in a voice that turned out much more sleepy and plaintive that I'd meant it to. Daniel smiled.

"Almost," he answered softly. I noticed that across from us, on the other side of the sectional, Scott was restless lump. Kat must've gone to bed.




Between the Bars Pt. 06



"What time is it?" I put my head in his lap. The denim of his jeans was soft against my cheek, warmed through by his skin. His fingers tugged gently at my hair. I was starting to get a little turned on but I tried to ignore the shivers. Not exactly the right time.

"Almost four. Scott had gotten those coordinates encrypted, and he didn't know the code. Alex had to break it. He's getting it all worked out now."

"I should get up so we can go when he's finished." I started to sit up but Daniel caught my arm.

"We're not going yet, we're going to wait till morning." 

"Oh." 

I was content to lay my head back down on his lap and close my eyes while his fingertips brushed my scalp. I was torn between sleep and the tingles slowly gathering in my belly and spreading down into my balls. I knew he was doing it on purpose. My dick started to rise despite Alex sitting just couple of yards away, and Scott sleeping nearby. I sucked in a breath and Daniel laughed softly. His touch became deliberately slow and sensual and when I looked up at him, he was gazing down at me intently, eyes crinkled in the corners. He teased me with his fingertips, raking through my hair and over all those sensitive spots on my neck and shoulders that he knew so well. I nuzzled his thigh and reached up to stroke the faded denim in little circles with my palm. Of course, it crept up from his thigh to his crotch and I smiled even wider, eyes still closed, when I felt him getting hard. Alex was probably looking but I didn't care. All I cared about was the faint but distinct throbbing of his erection pulsing under the pads of my fingers.

My head hit the couch cushion as Daniel suddenly stood up, dumping me off his lap. He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him through the doorway into the small, warm bathroom. Alex stared over his shoulder at us. The door clicked shut and Daniel flipped on a small light above the sink with one hand as he turned me around to face him. I loved seeing that smile when he dropped his chin to kiss me. The light in his eyes made my knees weak. He wrapped his arms around me, surrounding me, kissing me, tasting my mouth. His tongue traced patterns on the roof of my mouth and I sucked at it greedily, clinging to his neck. I pressed my hips forward into his and the friction of my cock against his made me moan with pleasure.

"Shhh." He grinned and whispered against my lips. "We always seem to end up in the bathroom."

"Yeah. In someone else's house, where we can't make a sound."

I didn't mean to sound pouty but I did, and he ran his hand through my hair with a gentle touch. "When this is all over, Rylan, I promise we'll spend time together, somewhere that it's just us."

"Can it have electricity this time?" I pretended to complain as I pulled his lips to mine. I loved kissing him when he was laughing. I loved the softness of his lower lip when I drew it between mine and nibbled. I loved our noses smashing together as we stared into each others' eyes. I loved the little kisses he trailed down my chin, over my jaw, on my nose and forehead and eyelids. 

Hands, skimming down my chest, teasing my nipples through my shirt just the way I liked it. His hands and his lips were slow and tender, instead of demanding. I reached up and ran my hand all over his head and felt him shiver in response. Without saying the words, I tried to put all my love into my answering touches and kisses so he would feel it surrounding him. He brushed his lips and tongue down my neck to that little spot on my collarbone and I felt my knees start to go out from underneath me. 

With a smirk, Daniel eased me back against the sink, so that it was supporting my weight. Then he locked his eyes on mine and started to sink to his knees. I instinctively gripped the edge of the sink and struggled not to throw my head back. I wanted to watch him.

I watched him run his hands down my chest and over my belly and down my thighs in one smooth stroke that left me trembling. I watched him nuzzle the hard ridge of my cock through my pants, and lick at my balls. I watched him grin up at me devilishly as he popped the button on my pants and drew down the straining zipper.

My cock sprang right into his face and he licked the length before wrapping his lips around the head and then I was totally lost in his warmth. We never broke our stare as he sucked my cock slowly with his hands on my thighs. Warm tingles shot up through my belly until I felt them in my fingers and toes and all I could see were his eyes through a haze of yellow sunbursts. He'd somehow unzipped his pants with one hand and he was stroking himself while he sucked me off, looking up into my eyes, and I was fucking lost. The intensity of the sight got me off so hard I bit my lip and scratched at the sink while I shot into his mouth and he never looked away as he swallowed my cum steadily. I caught the back of his neck and trembled through my aftershocks, the world tumbling and spinning like a dryer around me, and his eyes went back and he moaned softly around my deflating cock as he spurted into his hand and onto my pant leg. Then he was laughing and wrapping his arms around me, back on his feet, kissing me with his sweet juicy mouth.

"Fuck, you taste good," I whispered. I closed my eyes and tried not to tremble like a leaf. God, his taste, his scent, the way he kissed me just...

"No, that's you." He laughed. I sagged against him, laughing weakly. I was in a warm little cloud now and somehow without my noticing, Daniel had gotten me tucked in and zipped up and back onto the couch with his arm wrapped around me and everything was hazy. The last thing I was aware of, dimly, was his voice telling me to get some sleep.

***

"Shit!"

When I sat up and it was gray morning and Daniel and Scott were nowhere to be found, I knew exactly what they'd done. Alex was snoozing in the recliner and I got right in his face and shook him.

"Where the fuck are they?"

"Wha-huh?" He started awake with a snort and stared at me blearily, trying to make sense of what was happening.

"Daniel and Scott. They're gone."

"Yeah." He nodded, eager to be of help when he'd finally shaken off the sleep. "Daniel wanted you to stay here, he said you were safer here. He and Scott went to go locate the geocache."

That son of a bitch. He'd dragged me into the bathroom to give me a blowjob so I'd crash out and he could get up and leave me behind. "Motherfucker," I swore softly. "Get up and take me to him, Alex."

"But, it's okay, Scott's with him..."

"I don't trust Scott. Dammit, Alex. You know where they are, I know you do."

"But he just didn't want anything to happen to you," Alex protested, even as he lurched to his feet and started fumbling for his shoes. 

"Well, I don't want anything to happen to him. And you don't either, do you, Alex."

He blushed because I'd noticed his little glances and the way he got flustered when Daniel looked his way. Hell, he'd only sat up the whole night helping Daniel when he'd just met the man a few hours ago. How the fuck could I miss it? It only mirrored exactly how I felt.

"No, I... just let me go tell Kat," he practically whimpered. As he disappeared down the hall, I frantically went through Daniel's bag, searching for his gun. Please let him have it with him. My heart was racing madly and my stomach turned nauseating flips. When I found the gun, I felt my gut drop out from under me. Why did he leave the apartment without it? Wherever Daniel was with that piece of shit Scott, he was unarmed and I had to get to him. 

The gun was kept loaded, but without a round in the chamber. With a ch-chunk, I slid a bullet home and put the gun into the pocket of my parka, where it would be easily accessible. I just had this weird feeling I could barely put into words that Daniel might need it. Alex grabbed his coat and keys, affected by my urgency, and it was only a minute before we were down at the curb getting into his freezing cold car, breaths hanging in the air.

"Where are they?" 

"Busse Lake. It's a nature preserve about a half-hour from here."

"I know where it is. Is this - whatever it is - hidden, or is it in plain view, or what?"

"Hard to say. They're usually well hidden, but not buried; of course, the snow makes it all different. With all this snow cover, even when they locate the exact GPS coordinates they might still have to dig for it," Alex explained as he cranked the car and pulled out.

"How the fuck did he get a GPS?"

"Oh... uh, my cell phone has one," Alex mumbled guiltily. His tires clunked over piles of frozen, dirty sludge. I couldn't believe he gave Daniel his cell phone so he could ditch me and go off on this damn fool treasure hunt. I wanted to ask him if he was fucking crazy, but I managed to stay silent. He'd thought he was helping Daniel; no doubt, he'd thought of me as the nagging, overprotective boyfriend. Shit! I still couldn't believe Daniel trusted Scott, especially after Scott set him up once. No matter how he tried to deny it and act innocent, I was positive Scott had something to do with the incident in St. Louis and I believed he was leading Daniel into a trap now, unarmed and helpless...

"Shit. Can't you drive any faster?" I demanded between my teeth.

He hit the accelerator. I'd long since lost track of what day it was, but I assumed it was a weekend since the roads were clear of usual morning rush-hour traffic. The delay was unbearable. Panic clawed at me, leaving ragged edges. The sun crept up somewhere behind the dark bank of clouds with slow and dreadful sameness. Alex wasn't any more interested in speaking than I was. I didn't trust Scott, but I trusted Alex. Despite the paranoia that Daniel managed to pass on to me, I had from the very first moment and I was grateful for his silent presence.

The open gates of the Ned Brown Preserve were just ahead. I felt myself getting lightheaded, my body's reaction to adrenaline, but I refused to give into the looming panic. Instead of alert and cautious like Daniel said, adrenaline had a tendency to make me fuzzy and unfocused. "Do you know where to look?" I asked Alex sharply.

"The general area, yeah." He headed down the narrow, winding paved roads, following the arrows that pointed to Busse Lake. The snow here was thick and still white and fresh, coating the barren ground and the dark skeleton trees. My eyes scanned around constantly, marking everything in sharp detail. My heart gave a mighty jump into my throat when I spotted Charlotte's green Subaru parked at a pullover, and next to it, a Chicago police cruiser.

Too late. "Where?" I barked, grabbing the door handle.

"That way." Alex pointed toward the trail that opened to my left with a sign showing the way to the lake. I jumped out of the car before it completely stopped moving and as soon as my feet touched the snow, I was running, my feet crunching on the frozen snow. The gun was a burning weight in my pocket. Soon, Alex's heavy footfalls ran to catch up with me. 

Couldn't see through the thick trees. As I ran, I started to hear muffled voices. I recognized Daniel's and my heart, already racing, nearly stopped. Instinctively, I reached into my coat pocket and drew Daniel's gun, solid and cold to the touch, but reassuring. If I could just get it to him in time, he could protect himself...

A shot. Loud, muffled pop, then another and another. A shout, a scream and I burst into the clearing just as Daniel stumbled and fell into the snow. Scott was a short distance away on the left, standing over a uniformed officer lying on the ground, whose gun fell just as Scott crumpled from the shot. 

Daniel lay in the middle of the clearing, and a man was about ten feet from him. Adkins. I recognized his handsome but chillingly vacant face from the video. He bent over and picked up a green ammunition case. No question this was the geocache, the box containing the evidence. He lifted his gun and pointed straight at Daniel lying helpless on the ground, clearly alive but not moving. His eyes flicked to me as I appeared from the mouth of the trail and that distraction gave me just enough time to raise my own gun and aim deliberately. No confusion, no fear, just cold rage. He hurt Daniel. Never fire at someone unless you plan to kill them, my grandfather taught me. Calmly, I pulled the trigger for one deafening shot and Adkins fell to the ground without a sound, a look of surprise frozen on his face. 

I ran to Daniel. In the moment of firing, I was completely peaceful and clear, but seeing Daniel lying in the snow with dark blood wetting his parka and starting to drip into the snow was enough to send panic through my veins like ice water. Pushing it back fiercely, I lifted Daniel's head into my arms. His eyes flickered open onto my face.

"You came," he said. His eyes were shockingly blue against the white snow, where a dark stain of blood was starting to spread from his shoulder, soaking through his coat.

"Of course, I did. Always." I cradled him against me. His breathing was shallow but not labored and despite the large amount of blood, when I lay him across my knees and opened his jacket, the wound was in his shoulder and not in his chest. Relief almost made me vomit. "You're okay, Daniel. You're okay. We're going to get an ambulance." I knew Alex was behind us, checking on Scott and the other officer. I knew he'd get a cell phone and call for help.

"Did you kill him?" Daniel asked rather blearily, as if he were very tired. He was lucid, but the bleeding had to be stopped soon. The exit wound was larger and bleeding far more than the entry wound. My fingers found the hole in the back of his shoulder and gently applied pressure to slow the blood flow. Help would be here soon. It had to be.

"Adkins? No. He'll live. I wanted to kill him because he hurt you, and I could have." I had to stop and take a deep breath. I'd aimed directly for the throat; this caliber of bullet at this short a range would have killed him, but at the last second I veered the barrel of the gun slightly and I shot him in the side. "But I missed on purpose because I didn't want to let him off easy. I want him to pay. You will get justice for Ray, I swear it."

Daniel smiled faintly. His face was turning sickeningly pale against the blood-spattered snow. Alex came up and hovered over us, a look of horror dawning when he stared down at Daniel.

"Scott's dead," he said softly. Carefully, he set the ammunition case down next to us.

"They were always going to kill him," Daniel mumbled. "Because he saw the evidence. Only let him live this long to show them where it was. Thought he could bargain, use it to buy his life... always was fucked in the head..."

"Daniel, shhh." I held him closer to my warmth. Alex mutely sank to his knees facing me and wrapped his arms around Daniel and me, adding the heat of his big body to mine to keep Daniel warm. In the distance, coming closer, we heard sirens. They couldn't have gotten here this fast from any call Alex made, it had to be a backup call made by the patrol car before this went down. They were damn sure of themselves. Backup would have come upon the scene and found two dead perps, the fugitive cop Daniel and his accomplice Scott, gunned down by the two heroic officers. That would have been the story on the news. The cover-up would've made certain of it, but thanks to Kat and Alex, the truth would be told, complete with proof. Everything, all of it was going to come crashing down. Daniel had accomplished his mission and I hoped with all my heart that it would bring him the peace he needed.

The paramedics and the police arrived there at the same time. I felt myself being pulled off Daniel. Rough hands held me from behind and voices were talking to me but I barely noticed, they were next to Daniel checking his wounds and loading him onto a stretcher. Kat was there suddenly with a coat over her pajamas, she somehow managed to be everywhere. Dimly, I saw Alex and Kat talking to the cop who held the ammunition case, explaining. I knew Kat would make everything all right so I didn't think about that. I really couldn't care less about the evidence anyway, Daniel was the only thing that mattered, and everyone was talking at once while I stared at the paramedics loading Daniel into the back of an ambulance, his wrist handcuffed to the metal of the gurney. Face so pale, eyes closed. Wet with blood. 

"Did he force you to help him, or was it of your own free will?" 

The voice dawned on me, shaking me out of my haze. "Voluntary. He didn't force me to do anything. I love him."

"Then you're under arrest for aiding and abetting a fugitive, fleeing arrest...." Cold metal handcuffs clicked around my wrists. Wait a minute, this wasn't right, but I couldn't speak, I couldn't do anything. The voice kept talking, listing charges and reading me my Miranda rights but the creeping panic couldn't be kept at bay anymore and when I found myself in the back of a squad car everything went blurry as the monster finally swallowed me.

****



Between the Bars Pt. 07



Chapter 30

The chair was so hard. I shifted and pulled my feet up under me, wrapping my arms around myself for warmth. Cold in here too. As soon as I'd gotten to the station in the back of the patrol car, they took me to this interrogation room and walked out. I'd been sitting here, alternately pacing and trying to get comfortable in the hard metal chair, for so long I'd lost track of time. Even if I'd been wearing a watch, they would've taken it from me like they took all of my personal belongings before they brought me in here.

I knew the big mirror across one wall was one-way glass. I'd given up pressing my face to it and shielding the glare with my hands in an attempt to see out. I'd watched enough TV to know that they should have taken me to booking to charge and fingerprint me, or come in the room and questioned me, but nobody came. Nothing happened at all. No phone call, no nothing. I just sat and waited and waited in the blank little room. 

I couldn't wait anymore. I closed my eyes and let my mind disconnect, the way I did when I was small, before I moved in with my grandparents, and bad things would happen that I either didn't want to or couldn't think about. I must've sat there for a very long time, keeping my mind blank so I wouldn't go insane with frustration and worry about Daniel, lying in a hospital bed somewhere broken and bleeding and alone. When the buzzer sounded, I looked up wearily. No use hoping. They were never going to let me out, I was going to be here forever.

"Kennedy. You're out."

"But, I don't understand, they never even questioned me."

The cop stared at me like I was total idiot. "You gonna stand around asking questions, or get the fuck out of here?"

I got up immediately and stepped out into the hall. The door thunked shut behind me. "Counsel's here," the cop said over his shoulder.

"A lawyer? But I don't have a lawyer, I never even got to make a phone call."

"Tell her yourself." He pointed at a petite, very pretty lady in her twenties with long dark hair, wearing a gray suit and black high heels. She walked up to me and stuck out her hand for me to shake, which I did, confused. The cop walked away and left us standing there in the hallway

"Rylan, I'm Ariella Frieden. It's good to meet you. The Chicago Sun-Times sent me over to get you out of here."

I blinked, confused by it all. "Uh, am I under arrest?"

"No charges have been filed against you at this time. Pending investigation, you're free to go. Come on, let's go down to processing and get your personal items and get you out of here." She bustled off down the hallway and I had no choice but to follow her.

"Pending investigation? Does that mean I could be arrested later?" I asked.

"I don't have an answer to that. Because this is an... internal matter, the police are not answering my questions regarding the case."

"They never arraigned me or anything; they just held me, are they allowed to do that?"

"As long as it's for less than twenty-four hours, yes. That's why the Times sent me over here, to make sure they didn't hold you illegally. Here." 

She opened a gray metal door and pointed me inside. The bored lady at the counter, not a cop but a step up from a crossing guard, processed me out and handed back everything I had on my person at the time I was arrested, except Daniel's handgun. I didn't ask about it, but I was sure it was being held as evidence. When I came out of processing through another door, Kat leaped into my arms, with Alex right behind her. They both looked exhausted, but Kat had managed to change out of her pajamas and into business attire and put on some makeup.

"Rylan, thank god. I've been worried sick."

"How's Daniel?" I asked immediately. "Is he okay?" When I hugged Alex, I felt myself sag against him a bit. He was so solid and reassuring and I hadn't realized how fucking tired I was. I didn't understand any of this. Between the time I was arrested and the time I was released, somebody decided I didn't do anything wrong and they just let me go. 

"Yes, he's out of surgery now and doing pretty well," Kat answered. "They've got him down at Cook County Hospital and their trauma center is excellent."

"I need to see him."

"They've got him under security, so you can't see him right now." She took my hand and started escorting me toward the door, with Alex behind me at a close protective distance. Ariella followed along, murmuring into a tiny silver cell phone. "Come on, let's get you back to my apartment so you can get cleaned up and prepare your statement for the press conference we've got set up." 

"Whoa. Wait a minute." I dug my heels in and stopped. "I'm not giving a press conference."

"But Rylan, the story broke. It's all over the news, what you and Daniel did. You brought down a whole ring of corrupt cops from all over the country. The public wants to hear from you. You're a hero." She beamed, clearly enjoying all this and the role she had played in it. This bit of investigation journalism was going to make her a very important part of the Sun-Times staff.

I shook my head. "I'm not a hero and I'm not your trained monkey, Kat. No statements and no press. I want to go to the hospital and be with Daniel, and if they won't let me see him I'll wait there until they do."

Kat huffed a breath, but she considered me for a moment or two and then finally nodded reluctantly. She knew me well enough to know she wasn't getting anywhere. "Okay. You're right. Now isn't the time. We'll go down and try to get you in to see Daniel. Before that, though, we really should take you back to my place so you can clean up. You don't want Daniel to see you like this." 

She took my wrists and showed me the blood that had seeped onto the my coat and soaked into my sleeves. I hadn't even realized I was covered in Daniel's blood. It was a far cry from him eating dinner with my family in a shirt splattered with my cum. I nodded and let her lead me down the hallway marked Exit.

"The paper wants me to do a front-page exclusive for tomorrow's edition, so I need a written statement," Kat went on relentlessly. "I need to know the sequence of events the best you can remember. Who shot Daniel?"

The image of him bleeding onto the snow was branded into the back of my eyelids. It would never go away. 

"Sgt. Adkins."

"And you shot him?" She gave me a piercing look like she wasn't completely convinced I was capable of such a thing. I shrugged. I didn't consider it an act of heroism. I did it because I had to, because I'd do anything for Daniel.

The hall ended. Alex, who was slightly ahead of us, pushed open the police station's front door. He stepped back inside with a shocked look on his face and pulled it closed, blocking the door with his big frame.

"What is it?" Kat asked.

"The press is out there," Alex answered, eyes darting to my face. "All the local stations and even the networks."

I didn't miss Kat's guilty little start. Damn her. Business suit and makeup, all right. Ariella stepped outside the door and announced to all the microphones that I had no comment. Alex and I stayed just inside the door while Kat went outside and brought her SUV around, although at first she wanted Alex to do it, until I pointed out that Alex could shield me a lot better than she could. It's not that I blamed her for wanting national exposure on her story, and for her face to be on the news as the intrepid reporter who broke the story, but even if she was my friend, using this for a media opportunity really pissed me off when Daniel was lying in the hospital alone. I didn't have time for this shit, I had to get to him.

Pushing through a throng of reporters shielded by Alex's big body, having microphones shoved in my face and questions shouted at me isn't an experience I want to repeat. I hated being the center of attention anyway, but especially because I knew I was no hero. All I did was help. Daniel was the real hero. He stayed dedicated even when nobody believed him, when the whole world was against him. This case was big; it involved a lot of important people and it was going to be on all the national news stations. The glory, if he wanted it, belonged to Daniel; and if he didn't want it, I'd do anything I could to keep the attention away from him.

Back at Kat's place, Alex handed me a neatly folded stack of clothes from the couch. Cargo pants, a t-shirt and a heavy navy-blue button-down. I assumed they were his but he grinned at my obvious doubt.

"They're my brother's. They might be a little big, but not like mine. It's all we could get."

"I'm sure they'll be fine. Thanks for thinking of it." I paused in my own drama long enough to glance up at Alex's shy eyes, his little-boyish face hidden in the scraggly beard. I smiled at him and he blushed. I owed him so much. I knew he had feelings for Daniel that he fully realized could never turn into anything, but instead of resenting me for getting in the way he unselfishly did everything to help us for no other reason than he could. He was in a position to help us and he did, and that was a rare thing. His loyalty awed me, humbled me. His blush told me any kind of praise or thanks would embarrass him more than he could stand; I could relate to that, so I just reached up and gave his thick shoulder a little squeeze.

"Hey." Kat shoved in briskly and broke up our moment by handing me a plastic grocery bag. "Here, put the bloody clothes in this and I'll have them incinerated. You're going to get an HIV test, right?"

Blankly, I looked down at the rusty stains of Daniel's blood under my fingernails. We'd been so careful in the farmhouse. He'd assured me there was no reason to worry, and I believed him, but even so, he never took the chance. Now protecting each other from what might be in us was totally beside the point. Direct contact with his blood, sure there were risks, but I didn't freak. I felt only peace because whatever happened, I knew it would be okay.

"Yeah," I said because Kat was waiting for an answer. 

"Good." She kept staring at me. "And a follow-up in six weeks. Daniel will insist on it himself. It's police procedure with any direct fluid contact."

Fluid contact. The dripping blood and the spurt of cum and cold panic sweat were all condensed into two clinical words. It was ironic really, all the frustration we'd had stranded at the farmhouse trying to avoid fluid contact only to end up with this happening. In the shower, I washed it all off under the hot water. I didn't want Daniel to see it because I knew he'd be concerned, just like Kat said. He'd stop focusing on his own recovery to worry about me and I didn't want that. I didn't want Daniel to think about anything but getting better. I hoped they were giving him great drugs so he wasn't hurting. I made myself not picture him lying in a hospital bed suffering.

I'd researched ballistics and gunshot wounds extensively for a couple of my novels, so although my knowledge was specialized in antique weapons, I knew enough to know that a shattered shoulder hurt like hell, but it wasn't life-threatening. Medical treatment was swift enough that shock was not a danger, but if the aim had been better or the ambulances just a little slower... My knees went weak and I had to grab the counter as it hit me full-force. He could have died. Just like Scott, like Ray, like the officer in the video. Just a few inches to the left and he'd be gone. He could have died and then what would I have done? My life wouldn't have changed on the outside, I would've gone back to Atlanta and fallen right back into my rut like none of this ever happened, like Daniel never even existed. He was so important to me after such a short time, I'd never felt this way and the intensity of my need to be with him scared the hell out of me but I didn't care. I jerked my clothes on and charged out of the bathroom demanding we had to go.

"Shit." As Kat pulled into one of the parking areas, I stared in dismay at the Cook County Hospital complex that sprawled out over six or seven city blocks "How are we ever going to find him in there?"

"He's in Tower C of the main building, room 515," Alex answered, watching the signs out the window. "It's that way, Kat. Make a left."

"Wait, how do you know that?"

"While you were in the shower, I got into their system and took a peek at their patient list." Alex shrugged. 

I lifted an eyebrow. Well, if he could download encrypted files off the Chicago Police Department's internal network, confidential patient files should be no big deal. "Oh. Well... good job then."

"If he's under guard, it's not going to be easy to get to him even when we do find him," Kat said in the parking garage elevator. "He's not a prisoner now, but he's under protective custody at the hospital and that means there's a list of people who can see him... and I doubt you're on it. An FBI agent named Jensen has taken over the case. He's the one who came into the surgery waiting room and told Alex and me that Daniel made it through surgery okay and we had to leave. If he's there, we'll never be able to get you in."

"I'll get in." I shrugged. I wasn't leaving until I did, it was that simple. Kat and Alex looked at each other and I pretended not to notice. The creaky old elevator bumped and lurched up to the fifth floor. Alex gripped the rail until his knuckles turned white, glancing up nervously until the thing lurched to a stop. When the door slid open, he almost fell out and I grabbed his arm and held him until he got steady, just the way he held Daniel and me up.

"Okay. Daniel's room is down the hall. It'll be easy to find because it'll have an armed guard." She grinned. She loved shit like this. I, on the other hand, eyed the nurses' station with trepidation. She was going to get us kicked out and I'd never get to see Daniel. I tilted my head in the direction of the nurses at the counter in their scrubs, talking and laughing with each other in front of their computer screens. 

"But how are we going to get past them? Do you have a plan or anything?" 

"Let's just try the forceful approach first." Kat lifted her eyebrow at me and grinned. "Let's go, boys. All you have to do is follow along."

****


Chapter 31

"Sorry, you're not on the list."

You didn't even look at the list, bitch. I wanted to scream in frustration but I knew that would only get us kicked out. I took a deep breath, while Kat put on her most winning smile. The cop was a tiny, sour-faced woman who barely even looked big enough to handle a weapon, let alone apprehend a suspect. Probably a desk jockey. She didn't even give Kat a glance. Kat was one charming dyke, so the cop was clearly straight and from the way she looked at me, she was not inclined to be sympathetic to gays either. There was no way she didn't know who I was, and why I wanted to see Daniel so badly. 

The door was cracked slightly and I could see the end of the bed, and the shape of Daniel's feet under white covers, but no matter how I twisted and turned the corner of the wall obscured his the rest of him. I longed to see his face. He was so close, I could almost touch him and it killed me not to be able to get to him.

"Yes, I know, Officer, but I'm Kat Grissom with the Chicago Sun-Times and this is Rylan Kennedy, a close friend of the patient. You may have heard about him on the news. He isn't a danger to Detective Braden, he only wants to see him, he's involved with the case and he was on the scene when the shooting occurred and even protected --"

The lady cop looked at me like I was dirt on her shoes and sneered at Kat. "I don't care who you any of you are. If you're not on the list, you're not going in."

Through the cracked door, I saw Daniel's legs shift. Kat's eyes got that icy-hard gleam and I knew she was about to make hellfire rain down on this woman, so I gently took her arm just as she was opening her mouth. I had to get to Daniel and pissing this bitch off wasn't the way to do it.

"Kat, leave it alone," I said softly. "Come on."

She gave me a rebellious scowl but she went with me down the fluorescent corridor to the little waiting area where Alex was squashed into a hard plastic chair. The nurses' station was directly across and I wanted to avoid their notice at all costs. One call to security was all it would take. 

"Cunt."

"Yeah, but that cunt's gonna have us thrown out of here and maybe even arrested if you don't settle down." I sat her down in a chair and paced around while she fumed. Think, think. Obviously, the forceful approach wasn't going to work and it was time to move on to plan B. I interrupted Kat's mumbled rant about calling her boss and the police commissioner.

"Listen. I think it might be best if you and Alex leave. Three people multiply the problems. If it's just me I can figure out a way to slip in."

"No, wait," she protested immediately. "If my editor-in-chief can make some calls to the right people and..."

"Kat," Alex interrupted in his quiet mumble. It was so rare for him to speak on his own accord, we both stared at him in surprise. He blushed slightly as he went on. "Rylan's right, he'll do better on his own. We're in the way. Let's go."

"But, but wait," Kat protested and sputtered but Alex bodily pulled her out of the chair so she gave in with bad grace. "You have my number, don't you? You'll call me if anything happens and you need me, right? Or if anything develops I need to know about?" she called as Alex dragged her to the elevator. I nodded and waved as they disappeared behind the sliding doors. I knew why she didn't want to leave. She was concerned about me, yes, but she what she wanted was an exclusive. Shaking my head, I went over and sat down in the waiting area to think over my next move.

My body ached from hours cramped up in the interrogation room so after awhile I got up and started wandering. I tried to stay away from Daniel's door; I didn't want the cop to get suspicious because I kept appearing and have me thrown out, but I couldn't seem to resist the draw of seeing even his feet. As I walked past trying to stay invisible, I noticed one of the nurses coming out of Daniel's room, passing the guard. I'd noticed her at the nurses' station earlier. She was very pretty, tall, with shoulder-length brown hair and a kind, radiant smile. Somehow, I felt immediately drawn to her. This might just be someone who could be convinced to help me.

I went back to the waiting area. The nurses glanced at me from time to time, but none of them questioned me. Quietly, I watched the pretty nurse. She smiled a lot, both at her fellow nurses and the aides and janitorial staff who passed through, and at the visitors to other patients on the floor. I was more and more convinced that my initial feeling about her was right on. 

Patiently, I waited until she went on rounds again. When she stepped out of Daniel's door, I was waiting down the hallway just out of sight of the guard. She looked a little startled when I approached her but she smiled and asked if I needed something. I noticed her on ID badge that her name was Jennifer. 

"Daniel Braden. You just saw him. How is he? Is he okay?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but because of federal privacy laws I can't give out that information to anyone who isn't a family member," she said kindly. "Are you a relative?"

"No. I'm..." I decided to go for it. "He's my lover. I'm worried about him and I just need to know he's okay."

Jennifer gave me a closer look and realization began to dawn. "Hey, did I read about you on the internet? How you saved his life?"

"Yes, yes that's me." I nodded eagerly. She shook my hand, beaming.

"What you did was so romantic," she told me. "You went rushing after him and you're not even a cop."

Bingo!

"No, I'm a writer actually. My name's Rylan Kennedy."




Between the Bars Pt. 07



"Your name's Rylan? He was asking for you when they brought him out of surgery."

"He was?" My heart beat a wild tattoo in my chest but then clutched with doubt. "Are you sure he didn't ask for Ray? He calls me Ry sometimes and that could sound like Ray."

"No, he distinctly said Rylan. He kept asking where you were."

When I caught my breath, she smiled at me even more and I knew my gut had not let me down. "Then you know why I have to get past that guard, don't you? They won't let me in to see him, but he needs me. I need to be with him."

"Yes, you do." She glanced out of the corner of her eyes in the direction of Daniel's door, and the guard, and then she nodded as if making an important decision. "We're going to get you past that bitch. He got agitated when they said you weren't here, and he needs to be calm so he doesn't aggravate his injury. They had to sedate him. He's stable, medicated and doing well after his surgery but I know he'll be much better with you there."

As she talked, she led me down the hallway to a room around the corner. It was empty, with faint light coming from behind the drawn blinds. "Okay. Stay in here. That guard has already seen your face, so we're going to have to wait for a shift change. It shouldn't be too long, the shifts are only four hours. I'll be back."

Closing the door behind her, she left me in the dim room. I clicked on a lamp and relaxed on one of the beds. My nerves were wound just as tightly as in the interrogation room at the police station but at least the seating was more comfortable and I could rest, as much as I could not being with Daniel. It was probably about an hour before the door opened and Jennifer slipped back inside. 

"Here, put this on." She tossed me a patient gown. The door opened wider and a big mountain of a man shuffled in with a gurney. His black skin was a startling contrast to the white polyester of his orderly's uniform. I stripped off my button-down since I knew it would show under the patient gown; with just a t-shirt, it looked fine. "I'll take care of the guard. Ben will stop in front of Daniel's door and you just slip off the gurney and into the room."

I hopped up on the gurney as the door clicked behind her. Carefully, Ben arranged the covers over me to hide my street clothes, only letting the patient gown peek out at the top. I closed my eyes and lay very still as he wheeled me out the door and down the hallway. He plodded slowly, too slow, dammit hurry up.

"Officer? I hate to bother you..." I heard Jennifer's voice and I slitted my eyes just enough to see that the grouchy female cop had been replaced by a handsome young recruit, very tasty in his dark uniform and buzz haircut. I hid a grin. So, that was why she'd waited for a shift change. Her soft, sweet tone wouldn't have worked on the bitch. I had to admire how she managed to sound slightly helpless without crossing the line into bimbo. "I know you're working, but they just brought some new oxygen tanks up here and I just can't get the handle turned. It's so hard that first time. Do you think I could borrow your muscles for just one little second?"

"Sure," the cop's voice answered eagerly. So easy.

Their voices faded down the hall and I tensed in anticipation. The gurney slowed and when I heard Ben mutter "Go," I tossed the covers back, jumped off the gurney and pushed the door open. I clicked it closed silently. Maybe the guard wouldn't notice and it would give me a couple of extra seconds with Daniel before they tried to throw me out. 

My heart jumped in my chest when I stepped into the room and got my first look at him lying there on the hospital bed. His face was pale against the pillow, so pale. He looked so helpless draped in a hospital gown, so pale and weak. His eyes were closed and bandages swathed his shoulder, binding his arm to his body. A faint dark stain marred the white bandage where his blood had seeped through. An IV dripped something down a clear tube. For a moment, I couldn't breathe and then I closed the distance between us. I went to the left side of the bed, his uninjured side, and gently took his hand from where it lay on the blanket, the IV tube taped to his wrist along with a hospital bracelet. 

"Daniel?"

Blearily, he opened his eyes. Whatever was dripping down the tube into his arm was strong and I was grateful, because that meant he wasn't hurting. A slow, heartbreakingly little-boyish smile tugged at the corners of his lips when he saw me. His fingers curled around mine.

"Hey." It was obviously an effort for him to speak through the haze of drugs and his eyes drooped as I reached up and cupped his jaw, stroking his cheek with my thumb. It was cool and rough with stubble. I could see faint rusty splotches on his skin where dried blood hadn't been completely washed away. The hospital staff had more important things to do. I'd wipe him down in a minute, but right now, I just wanted to be near him. I couldn't hold him like I wanted to because of his wound, I didn't want to hurt him, so I just held his hand, gazing at his face with my heart pounding in relief just to be with him.

"God, I'm glad to see you," I said softly. I had no idea if he could hear me or if he was deep in a drugged stupor, but the words had to come out even if I was the only one who heard them. "All I could think about sitting at the police station was you, how I can't stand to think of my life without you. I would've climbed the walls to get to you. When I saw you fall to the ground after Adkins shot you, a little piece of me died and it's been dead until now, looking at you..."

The lump in my throat choked off my words and I had to blink my eyes to keep the tears back. I was like someone who'd been asleep for years and years. I was finally waking up and all this emotion was flooding me and I didn't quite know how to deal with it. Part of me wanted to withdraw safely back into my shell and lock myself away, so I wouldn't have to feel this way; but the other part of me reached between the bars of the prison of indifference I'd locked myself in for so long. My heart wouldn't let me push Daniel away even if I wanted to.

His eyes fluttered open and he looked up at me with that faint glimmer of a smile. He tried to speak but the effects of the drugs were too strong to let him form words and a second later, his head dropped back and he was asleep again. But he heard me.

The new guard outside the door either didn't know the door should be cracked or he never looked at it. I'd expected him to burst in any minute calling security, but he didn't. I sat there on the edge of Daniel's bed holding his hand while he faded in and out of his painkiller-induced stupor for at least an hour, when the door finally opened. When I looked up, a short little Indian man in a doctor's jacket came in, followed by a tall man in a suit with an air of authority. I had a feeling this was FBI Agent Jensen, the man in charge of this operation. I met their eyes defiantly when they stared at me in obvious shock to see me here.

The FBI guy looked pissed. "How'd you get in here?" 

I shrugged. I was certain he knew exactly who I was. "I'm very resourceful when I need to be."

Jensen turned to the door and spoke to the guard, who was hovering in the doorway looking baffled and alarmed that someone had gotten past him. "Call security."

"No," Daniel said clearly. We all turned our heads and looked at him. He still looked dazed, but he was much more alert than he'd been since I walked in the room. He held my hand tightly as he stared down the FBI agent with a trace of his usual self-assurance. "Rylan's not leaving. I wouldn't be here without him. He stays."

"This is a police matter and he's a civilian. He'll only get the in the way and disturb you."

"Actually, patients recover better with a loved one for support," the doctor said in his musical Indian accent. He turned to me and shook my hand. "Dr. Salman Advani. I know you from the news."

I introduced myself and he nodded, smiling with recognition. Thanks to Kat and CNN, I was a fucking celebrity. He approached Daniel's bed and I got up and moved to the window, sitting down on the ledge, while the doctor examined Daniel. I watched anxiously, with Jensen glaring at me the whole time. I could tell Daniel was struggling to stay alert amidst the drugs, but he did manage to ask the doctor exactly how badly he was injured. I listened carefully so if Daniel forgot something I could explain it later, when he was more coherent. 

"The bullet entered your shoulder just below the rotator cuff, slightly above the armpit." Dr. Advani gently touched the wound to show both of us where it was; he waited until I'd come closer to the bed to watch before he continued. "The bullet was hollow-point; as you know they're designed to expand when they hit bone. It shattered the scapula and caused a large flesh wound both at entry and exit points. We gave you two pints of blood down in the ER, but blood loss and shock were minimized by immediate emergency response. You're very lucky, Detective. You could have died from this wound."

My knees almost gave way and I felt my stomach turn when he said that, but I managed to pull myself together for Daniel's sake. If I let myself, I'd probably pass right out.

"Your right arm will have to be completely immobilized for at least six weeks, until the fractures mend," Dr. Advani said. "There will be considerable pain and you might never regain full use of the arm. It's possible you won't be capable of handling a weapon after you recover."

Daniel's eyes darted to mine over the doctor's balding head. We both knew what that meant - the doctor was telling Daniel his career as a police officer was over. I couldn't say I was sorry to hear it but I tried to look sad for Daniel's sake. After all, this was his career, his life's work. I'd be devastated if a doctor told me I could never write again. Of course, as zonked as he was on morphine or Demerol or whatever was dripping into his arm, he might not even remember this conversation anyway and we'd have to break the news to him again.

"You're doing okay for now." The doctor looked down at Daniel and spoke loudly because he saw that Daniel was fading out again. "If you hurt, call the nurse. Okay?"

"Nod your head, Daniel," I added.

He nodded slowly and then his eyelids drooped. The doctor shook my hand again and departed, leaving me behind with one drugged-up patient and one very displeased FBI agent.

"I could have you arrested for sneaking in here."

Returning to my spot on the edge of the bed, I picked up Daniel's hand and stared at the agent's smug scowling face. He could fuck off.

"Since you're here," he said ungraciously, "we'll need to get a full statement from you. When he wakes up, he'll have to give us one too. We need to know everything that happened this morning."

"Sergeant Adkins. The guy I shot. He's alive, right?"

"Yes, he's alive. You either fucked up, or you're a good shot - for a civilian."

"I didn't fuck up. If I killed him, I killed everything he knows."

Agent Jensen nodded slowly, still frowning at me. "Shattered ribs, collapsed lung, on a respirator, but expected to make a full recovery. He'll be feeling fine by the time they send him to death row."

I nodded with grim satisfaction. I'd always considered the death penalty a seriously flawed aspect of our judicial system, but I wanted Adkins to pay for the lives he'd taken and the lives he'd ruined, and all for what? Greed, pure and simple. My part in this was small, very small. I'd make whatever statements and do whatever court appearances I needed to, and I'd support Daniel in everything he had to do; but when that was over, I'd watch with interest to see just how high up this corruption went and how many lives it touched. Adkins himself had to be just a player in the game. Somewhere, someone rich and powerful and important was pulling the strings. The nation waited anxiously to see who it was, to see if the truth ever came out. And without Daniel - I looked down at his groggy, drugged-out face on the pillow - without this man it would not have been stopped. One detective from a backwater city in Florida just wouldn't give up, even after they took everything away from him. The heroes in my novels had nothing on him.

"We'll cooperate fully as soon as Daniel's up to it." He shifted on the pillow and moaned slightly under his breath while I watched him closely. "But for now, I think you'd better just leave him alone until he feels better."

Jensen opened his mouth and started to protest and I knew exactly what he was going to say. He was in charge here, not me. But I let go of Daniel's hand long enough to go over to the door, holding it open while I stared at him. Finally, he just shrugged, let out a breath, and left.

"Ry?"

I was at Daniel's side holding his hand in seconds, my stomach clenching when I watched him struggling to open his eyes and focus on me through the pain and the drugs. "I'm here. Rest now, rest."

"Not leaving are you? Please stay."

I struggled not to let the tears form in my eyes. Loved him so much, felt his pain but so fucking happy he was alive and here with me. "I'll be right here, Daniel, I'm not leaving. I'll stay as long you need me."

"Need you always."

His fingers caught at mine and I held his hand tight as he drifted off. "Always works," I told him, smiling through the tears I finally let fall.

*****


Chapter 32

"I didn't want Rylan to be involved in anything dangerous, but I didn't like the idea of leaving while he was asleep either. That was Scott's idea." Daniel looked over at me before he continued for the FBI video camera. Jensen was in the room, along with the witness-debriefing specialist he'd brought in to take Daniel's statement. A lawyer from the Tallahassee PD's Internal Affairs Division was flying in and would be here this afternoon to discuss the case with Daniel as soon as he felt up to it. Things had to proceed very carefully because so many active-duty police officers were involved. "Scott convinced me it would be safer and faster if just the two of us went. Said we'd just run out, get the ammo box from the woods, and run straight back. I didn't even need my gun."

I'd been instructed not to speak while the camera was running, so I bit my lip to keep from asking what the fuck he was thinking. I didn't have to say it anyway. Daniel's eyes staring into mine, asking forgiveness, told me he knew.

"I had misgivings but I let him convince me. I don't know why I trusted him, maybe because he was in my unit in the Gulf and I didn't want to believe on of my own men would betray me. I didn't think he was capable of it."

That was something I didn't know before. Daniel didn't talk about that time in his life. He'd said Scott was Special Ops, but not that he was under Daniel's command. I didn't even know Daniel had a command. Now that I knew their history, I understood a little better why Daniel didn't question Scott's loyalty like I did. Daniel took the whole "band of brothers" thing seriously and he thought everyone else did too.

"After Rylan fell asleep, Scott and I made our plans. We left just before the sun came up. Alex loaned me his GPS cell phone so we could locate the coordinates of the ammo box. It was covered by snow so we had to search for it and then dig it up. We finally found it in a shallow culvert near the lake. We had just opened it to check the contents when I looked up and saw a Chicago city police officer walking up. I thought that was strange, but when Scott didn't seem surprised to see him, it all dawned on me."

I cringed. I almost didn't want to hear the rest of it.

"I closed the ammo case back up. Scott was standing there smiling at me and of course then I knew why he talked me into leaving Rylan behind and not bringing my gun. I knew I was fucked then. That's when Adkins came around the bend in the path."

"Did Detective Wyman say anything to you at this point?" the witness expert asked. She was a nice, motherly lady who told us to call her Leslie. 

"Yeah. He thanked me for helping him dig." Daniel attempted a laugh and cringed in pain. They'd stopped the Demerol in his IV drip last night, and he skipped the last dose of oral pain medication so he could be lucid enough to do this. I didn't like it one bit. It'd only been forty-eight hours since the shooting. The intravenous antibiotics warded off infection and they were still monitoring his urine for signs of blood, in case they'd missed bone fragments that might cause him to clot elsewhere. It was a scary time and I'd wanted them to wait, but he insisted he could do it. When I asked him if he wanted to stop, he shook his head impatiently. "I'm okay. I saw Adkins coming and I knew this time he was going to kill me."

"How were you feeling then?" Leslie asked in her soothing monotone.

"Scared. I thought I was okay with dying, but it turns out I'm not." His lips twisted in a fleeting smile. Sweat began to mist his temples from the pain and the exertion of talking. "I didn't have a gun and I knew I was about to die. I did what they tell you in the Academy and started talking. I asked Scott about his wife and kids, how his sons would feel growing up knowing their father was a crooked cop, how they would live if his death benefits got taken away. He got agitated and drew his weapon. The situation was very unstable. Adkins was coming closer now, and I asked Scott if he thought Adkins was going to let him live knowing what he knew. I told Scott that neither one of us were going to walk away from this."

"And what happened then?"

"Adkins laughed behind me and said I was right."

"And what about the officer with him?"

"He had his weapon drawn but he didn't say anything. What happened to him anyway?"

"Scott shot him in the chest. He's in a coma," I answered softly from where I sat right next to Daniel's bedside. He nodded, drawing a breath from the pain. I winced. I hated this. Jensen watched from the other side of the room, not saying a word.

"Detective, what happened after Adkins told you that you were right?"

"Scott started talking to him. Trying to bargain with him. Saying he got Adkins the evidence like he said he would and he wanted his money, that they had a deal. He was screaming and yelling and waving his weapon around. Adkins told Scott it would be easier just to kill him and that was the plan all along anyway. Scott lost it then and fired his weapon. I don't think he hit anything and he started to run. The officer chased him and Scott fired another round and hit the other guy. He fell. Best I can remember, Scott went to finish him off and the cop shot him from the ground at close range."

This long speech exhausted Daniel and he stopped and closed his eyes, his breathing getting shallow under the hospital gown. I knew he was hurting and I asked Leslie if we could finish later. She said yes, but Daniel shook his head weakly.

"No, I want to finish," he said through pale lips. Arguing with him would've just drawn it out more so I sat back unhappily and let him continue. The only reason I even got to be here was that I'd already given my full statement in another room while Daniel slept.

"I tried talking to Adkins. I knew he was going to kill me so I tried to keep him talking as long as I could, asking him if he really thought he was going to get away with it, did he really think he could just eliminate everyone in his way. He's a smart son of a bitch though. He knew what I was doing. Last thing I remember was him laughing at me and raising his weapon. I don't know what happened after that. Not until Rylan was talking to me, and then I was getting into an ambulance. You came right before he shot me?" Daniel looked at me now, confusion in his eyes. "And you wounded him in the side?"




Between the Bars Pt. 07



"Yeah." I nodded. What else could I tell him? That I died inside when he fell to the ground? That I wasn't scared, that I was completely dead calm, that I was thinking of nothing but him and that's how I kept from falling apart until I was in the back of the squad car. That he soaked me with his blood but I didn't care, that I didn't think of that fact until Kat said she was going to incinerate my clothes, that I hadn't thought about it since because I was afraid of nothing that was in him because he was already part of me.

"Weren't you close enough to kill him?" Daniel asked. He seemed troubled. I thought of Ray and I knew that Daniel would've shot to kill. All his insistence that it wasn't revenge, it was justice, but even through the pain the slightly distant, fierce look in his eyes told me that if the moment had been his, he would not have missed. The investigation wouldn't have mattered to him. He was too emotionally involved. I understood that. God, how I understood it, after I watched him crumple to the ground, after I thought I'd lost him the way he lost Ray. But in the end, killing this one man, this one link in the chain, would not have brought him true closure. 

"Yeah," I answered slowly. 

From the window ledge, Jensen stared at me. He knew exactly what happened in the moment I raised the gun because I told him and Leslie during my own statement. Daniel didn't remember what I'd said while he was bleeding into the snow. It didn't matter that he didn't know. If I told him about it, it would sound like I was trying to make myself seem like a braver and more noble person than I am. Let him think that I panicked. Just knowing that he would get the justice he wanted was enough for me.

"I was close enough, but I, my hand was shaking and I missed."

"Well, fuck," Daniel muttered under his breath while I avoided Jensen's eyes by getting up to straighten his pillows and give him a sip of water. He was starting to shift restlessly under the covers, the pain making him tense and edgy, and as far as I was concerned, we were done here. He'd done enough for one day. When I went to push the call button, he didn't try to stop me this time, he just leaned his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes in exhaustion.

Jennifer, our favorite nurse, came in and I held Daniel's hand while she ordered the two FBI agents and their video camera out of the room. She raised the hem of Daniel's hospital gown and shot a syringe of Demerol in his hip to get him out of pain, so he didn't have to wait for the pills to work. I wanted to let him rest but when I started to get up, he gripped my hand and wouldn't let go as the drugs took effect, then his fingers loosened and his eyelids grew heavy. As he rolled his head back and drifted away, I lifted my hand and stroked his cheek so that the last thing he felt was my touch, and he knew I'd never leave.

I did have to eat and sleep from time to time though. Kat had offered to come and pick me up, but the other bed in Daniel's room was empty so I slept there last two nights. It was impossible to get decent sleep in a hospital unless you were on drugs and even then, Daniel woke up every few hours, writhing in pain. I'd jumped right up each time to help him and call the nurse; so I needless to say, I was exhausted. His throat sore from the ventilator during surgery, Daniel struggled to eat the tasteless breakfast on the tray with his left hand so I ended up feeding it to him, and by the time we got a little food inside him, the FBI was there. I realized in the elevator that I hadn't eaten since sometime yesterday when I had a stale granola bar from the vending machine. No wonder I felt like shit.

A ham sandwich in the cafeteria made me feel a little better. While I was eating, I picked up a copy of the Sun Times someone had left of the table. Right on the front page, there was an article about Scott Wyman under Kat's byline. She'd been busy. I called her from a courtesy phone in the cafeteria before I headed up to Daniel's room. The shot had knocked him on his ass and he needed his rest. 

"I talked to your aunt. She and your uncle are on their way up here to see you. They should be here later this afternoon."

I groaned to myself, Charlotte would be running around like a mad woman and driving me nuts, but I was also relieved because I needed her right now. I needed someone to hold me up, to tell me it was okay. "Do they know they won't be able to see Daniel if they come to the hospital?"

"I told them all about that, yeah. Also told them their car is still being held in the investigation. They're bringing you your car and they might stay here a couple of days until things settle down. Figure you could use the support."

"Yeah." Out of nowhere tears pricked the corners of my eyes and I realized just how fucking exhausted and emotionally drained I was. Fuck, I'd shot someone yesterday. Or was it the day before? I didn't even know anymore. Actually shot him. Could've fucking killed him. And Daniel almost died. He could be dead right now, if I'd slept just ten minutes longer he'd be dead. My hands started to tremble and I forced the hysterical note out of my voice. "I'm tired, Kat."

"I know you are, baby. Listen, I'll come and pick you up in a few hours and get you out of that hospital for awhile, okay?"

"Okay... yeah.... but I can't just leave Daniel here alone," I protested. "Not while he's hurting like this. You should have heard him in the night, Kat, he was in so much pain." 

"You don't have to leave him for the whole night," she soothed me. "I'll just come get you for a little while, so you can see your aunt and uncle, take a hot shower and relax for awhile. He'll probably be asleep anyway. Okay?"

Her voice seemed to come through layers of cotton. My head was fuzzy and I couldn't make clear decisions. I felt helpless, confused and unwound and I sagged against the wall, closing my eyes.

"Can I just call you later, Kat? They won't let calls in, but I can call out."

"All right," she answered doubtfully. "You don't have to do this all by yourself, you know. You won't be any good to Daniel if you fall apart on him now. He needs you to be strong and you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of him."

When I hung up, I leaned against the wall and took deep breaths until I was back in control of myself. Yeah, Kat was right. I was going to lie down in the other bed in Daniel's room and get some rest while he slept. They weren't going to keep him in the hospital much longer; when they let him out he was going to need me, and I had to be there for him. I knew he was confused that his family hadn't flown to Chicago to see him, or even called. Jensen told me he'd spoken to Daniel's mother, and the story was all over the media, there was no way his family didn't know he'd been shot and he was in the hospital. My family was making the trip, so where the fuck were his? The fucking Internal Affairs lawyer was on the way and his own mother and siblings were where?

****


Chapter 33

When I got back up to the room, the armed guard was in his chair next to the door, but I noticed the door was open and I heard quiet voices inside the room. I frowned. "Who's that?" I asked the bored guard. He didn't even look up from the video game on his cell phone screen.

"Jensen called and put them on the list."

Them? I was expecting the legal representative from IAD, but I thought it would only be one person, and I knew there was no way Jensen would have put Paul and Charlotte on the list. Worried now, I rushed into the room.

The shades were drawn just as I'd left them and Daniel was still sleeping, but a man with dark hair was sitting on the edge of his bed gently holding his hand, with another man standing behind him. Cops. I was getting used to cops and they both had the look, the lean, muscular body and the air of self-assurance that they all seemed to have, the quick movements and hard eyes. They both looked at me, into me, as I came into the room and I forced myself not to feel like I was intruding. I had every right to be here. 

"Rylan?" asked the man who was standing up. He gave me a smile, but the cop sitting on the bed next to Daniel just flicked his eyes over me before turning back and stroking Daniel's jaw. Neither one of them gave off a very friendly vibe, the smile notwithstanding, but they were cops and cops never trust anyone. Clearly, these were Daniel's friends and they only had good intentions, to protect Daniel, just like I did.

"Yeah." I nodded and stood my ground. I tried not to wonder if the guy gazing into Daniel's sleeping face and touching him and holding his hand was someone more than just a friend. Christ, maybe he had a boyfriend he never told me about and that would just fucking kill me but I couldn't let them intimidate me or make me run away.

"It's good to meet you, Rylan, I'm Gray Mitchell and this is my boyfriend, Michael Perez. We're good friends of Danny's."

Boyfriend, well that was good. Relieved, I shook hands with them both. Gray seemed a bit friendlier and even a little embarrassed by his partner's standoffish behavior. He was a few years older, early forties probably, with the stern police-issue buzz cut and stout neck, hazel eyes and a nice smile, while Michael was slender, dark and boyishly handsome. 

"So how's his shoulder? One of the IAD people told us what happened but she didn't know the extent of the injuries." 

Quietly, so I wouldn't wake Daniel, I explained what the doctor told us the day of his surgery, leaving out the part about not being able to handle a weapon. It was Daniel's decision to tell people that, not mine. "The doctor hasn't been in today yet, but if he's stable and doing well, they might release him tomorrow."

"We brought Danny some clothes and stuff," Michael said. "We'll spend the night."

"Oh," I said uncertainly. "You don't have to do that. I've been staying here, I was planning on staying tonight too."

Michael looked over his shoulder at me and took a breath. He looked like he was about to argue with me, but Gray cut him off.

"That's fine. We can get a motel." Gray shot Michael a look he didn't think I saw. Something else was bothering me, though. After checking to make sure Daniel hadn't stirred, I motioned Gray over to the window. I didn't want him to hear if he happened to wake up.

"Listen... what about his family? His calls are screened, but they'd put his mother through if she called and she hasn't. His family know what happened, right?"

"They know." He nodded, both resigned and vaguely disgusted. "I talked to his mother myself, last night. Told her the Department would pay for her to fly up, but she opted not to. Daniel's sister is having a baby and she didn't want to leave... which is bullshit in my opinion but my opinion doesn't matter here. His family is... well. They're just like that." He shrugged. "So Michael and I came instead. Hey, how about you? You okay?"

"Yeah... a little tired, but fine. Thanks." I actually managed a smile at him and then we both turned around when we heard Michael's voice.

"Hey there, stud," he was saying to Daniel, who had opened his eyes blearily and was trying to focus on him, frowning in confusion. The drugs made it hard for him to concentrate on what was going on around him.

"Michael?"

"Yeah, baby, I'm here and so is Gray." Michael leaned down and kissed Daniel on the forehead and Gray came up behind him and put his hand on his lover's shoulder, smiling down at Daniel.

"Where's Rylan?" 

It took a second for me to realize he'd asked for me and then another second that I was frozen to the spot. Michael had tensed up. I didn't know what Michael's problem was but I didn't care. Daniel asked for me when he came out of surgery and when he woke up confused. Not Michael.

"I'm right here," I said. I went to the foot of the bed where he could see me and he smiled groggily and rolled his head back. Daniel gave Michael's hand a little squeeze.

"Glad you guys came," he muttered. 

"So you finally went and got yourself shot," Gray said. I appreciated him keeping things light because Daniel was still pretty out of it. "Looks like we're gonna be busting dealers without you for awhile."

"Yeah. Think my raids are pretty much over."

Good. That was my immediate reaction but I kept it to myself in this room full of vice cops. With the possibility of never regaining full use of his arm, Daniel was facing a desk job and I was secretly happy about it. One bullet was enough. When I thought of him falling to the ground and bleeding into the snow, ice-cold fingers dug into my spine. He shouldn't have to face that kind of danger again, ever.

Fading in and out a bit, Daniel forced his eyes open. "Somebody call my mom and tell her not to come," he mumbled. "M'kay..."

Gray and I traded looks. "Sure baby," Gray said, giving Daniel's leg a little squeeze under the blanket. "I'll call her in just a few minutes."

We all watched as his head went to the side and he dozed off again. Gazing at him, Michael began talking. Although he didn't bother to look at me, I assumed he was talking to me.

"There's gonna be a shit storm when he gets back to Tally. We're just vice, we don't hear much about Danny's IAD stuff, but there are going to be hearings and an investigation into the involvement of Captain Olmos."

"He blew Daniel's IAD cover to Adkins. He was the one who set him up."

Michael stared, surprised into looking directly at me. "You're kidding."

"No, I'm not."

"He'll have to testify to all that during the internal hearings," Gray said, shaking his head. "As well as in front of all the grand juries. Adkins will be going into federal court too and he'll have to be there. It's going to be a long process. We can't talk to the media but there are going to be reporters calling him and television cameras waiting when he comes home, just to get a glimpse of him."

"He can't do any of that now. He needs to rest... he can't even feed himself yet." I hadn't thought much about what was going to happen when they released Daniel but now I began to get distressed. I didn't want him to go back to that alone. "He can't move his arm for six weeks. He's going to need someone to take care of him around the clock at first."

"We're taking him home with us," Michael stated. "As soon as he can fly."

For a moment, I didn't know what to say. It seemed like this had all been decided and I didn't get any input at all. These people didn't know me and they weren't going to give me an input unless I made them. They were Daniel's friends and they'd known him a lot longer than I had, but I'd earned a little consideration. "You know, Daniel could come home with me. It's his decision of course, but I work at home and both of you have to leave everyday. I'd be around more in case he needed something, and I already know how to dress his wounds, when he needs his meds and all that."

"But his family and all of his friends are in Florida." My suggestion didn't please Michael at all. 

"So's the press," I reminded him. "They won't be waiting at my house."

"But how long do you think it would take for them to get there? His friends will take care of him. He'll be a lot better off with us."

"Why don't you let him decide for himself, he's right here." Daniel's sleepy voice startled us and we all came closer to him, instantly stopping our discussion to listen to what he had to say. I felt a little ashamed of myself for trying to decide what was best for him like he was a child.

"I'm so glad you guys came... I know you'll be there for me, but I don't think I can deal with everything right now. I just hurt too much and I can't do anything for myself. I just want to hide out at Rylan's place until things get a little easier for me. I don't want to be a burden on you guys."

"But... Danny, we can take care of you, we can do all those things for you." Michael looked positively crushed. I knew something was going on here, but whatever it was, Gray didn't seem concerned about it so that meant I shouldn't be either. But still. "Why is it okay for Rylan and not for us?"

Daniel huffed a laugh that made him wince, but his eyes still twinkled. "I haven't fucked either one of you in the ass."

Instead of a paralyzing blush, I managed just a minor one and for the first time Michael actually grinned. We were all glad that Daniel was showing a spark of his normal self. I knew how badly he wanted to get out of this fucking hospital and go home - to my home. It wasn't going to be the fun getaway we'd talked about having when all this was over, but it meant a lot to me, that he would let me take care of him that way, that he would trust me and choose me to help him through this.

The door opened and the nurses' aide came in. Sponge bath time, then whatever soft food Daniel could manage to swallow. I took this opportunity to call Kat, and let Michael and Gray spend a little time with Daniel. When I left the room to meet her downstairs, Michael got up.

"I'll walk you to the elevator."

"Um... okay." I didn't miss Gray's anxious look as Michael followed me out into the hallway. I had no doubt what he was planning to say, and when we reached the waiting area he stopped me with a hand on my arm.

"Listen, I don't want us to get off on the wrong foot, Rylan. I know what you've done for Danny. It's in all the papers. You've helped him out a lot when he needed a friend, and hell, you saved his life by showing up when you did and stopping Adkins from killing him. So, thank you for that."

I nodded suspiciously, waiting for him to get to the real point.

"You're not a cop, though, and you don't know what our life is like. The dangers and the pressures are something only other police officers can understand... that's why relationships with civilians don't last, they just don't get it. Especially not someone who writes romance novels." He touched my arm and gave me a smile edged with pity. I was so floored at his nerve that I was literally speechless. "Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just a different kind of life. I know you care for him, so I just wanted to explain to you that he's vulnerable right now. He needs people around him who understand him." 

He paused to see if what he was saying was having an effect on me. All I could do was stare at him in utter amazement.

"He does need a safe place to heal right now... we could give him that, but he wants to go with you and that's fine. He's grateful for what you've done for him and he thinks he has feelings for you because he owes you something. But Daniel's one hell of a cop and eventually, that's what he is going to come back to. That's what he needs. I just want you to know that, and not be too hurt when it happens. It's nothing against you, Rylan, you seem like a nice guy but I'm just saying, Daniel isn't going to be content with your life and I'd hate to see you try to hang on to him when you can't possibly understand who he really is. Ray might be gone, but we know Daniel a lot better than you do." Michael gave me that overly understanding smile again and lightly squeezed my arm before he took a step back. "Okay... I think we get each other now, don't you? I'll see you later."

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open, and I moved toward it like a zombie, still numb with disbelief over Michael's assumptions. What a fucker. Thinking he knew what was best for Daniel. And Ray. What the fuck did he have to do with anything? I wasn't sure whether to be furious or to just laugh in Michael's smug face.

Down on the ground floor lobby, Charlotte flew into my arms and hugged me so hard I couldn't breathe, while Paul and Kat grinned over her shoulder. Paul hugged me next and I let my head rest on his shoulder. He was a rock and I was so grateful to Charlotte for marrying him so they could both be in my life. I found myself between them, each of them with an arm wrapped around me, as we all went out to Kat's SUV that was illegally parked in the entrance. 




Between the Bars Pt. 07



"We're so glad you're okay," Charlotte was saying over and over, almost in tears. "Kat told us everything. I can't decide if you're so brave I need to cry, or so goddamn stupid I need to kill you."

"What she means is, we're proud of you kiddo," Paul grinned.

"Kat and I went and bought you a few clothes," Charlotte rattled on while Kat drove us toward her apartment. "She told me you didn't have any, that you had to borrow some from someone. Now you'll have something to wear till you get home. What's going on with Daniel?"

I told them all about his shoulder and everything the doctor told us. "I'm taking him home with me to Atlanta for a couple of weeks, until he heals a little. He needs someone to take care of him right now and I'm the only one who works from home, plus I want to do it. I know you brought my car up, but we're going to have to fly to Atlanta. There's absolutely no way Daniel can sit in a car that long. I'm sorry. None of this was decided until today."

"It's okay," Paul shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I'll drive your car down to you when you get back home to Atlanta.

"You'd do that? I'll buy you a plane ticket back, Paul. That's just... you don't know what a weight that is off my mind." I'd been worrying over it since we got everything decided and I was so relieved that it was going to work out, I was practically giddy. 

Back at Kat's apartment, Charlotte brought out a home-cooked meal she'd transported up here from home. It was delicious and even though I kept picturing Daniel struggling to eat hospital food, I ate as much as I could hold and then took a long, hot shower. While the hot water pounded down on me, I kept replaying what Michael said and a little voice of doubt in my head started to nag at me. Yeah, Daniel probably would be bored with my life. I'd known that from the beginning. Maybe he wouldn't stay. Maybe he would go back to being a cop. If he did, I couldn't stop him and I wouldn't try. I loved him and I wanted him safe, but I never wanted to be a burden or a weight on his shoulders that held him back. If that time came when he wanted to move on, I wouldn't hang on. I'd never planned on doing that. I only wanted to be part of his life if he wanted me.

Climbing out of the shower, I dried off and got dressed in the new clothes Charlotte had left on the bed. It was so nice to be clean. Michael's little talk had sent me crashing, but I enjoyed relaxing and talking with Kat and Paul and Charlotte for a while. However, it wasn't long before I was glancing at the clock every few minutes. Kat caught me and smiled. "You want to be back at the hospital with Daniel."

"Yeah, I do." Admitting it didn't embarrass me one bit. They might grin and shake their heads at my total devotion but I didn't care. "I know the nurses are taking care of him and his friends are there, but I still need to be there."

"Well I suppose that's natural considering you just watched him get shot," Kat said. "Can't blame you for not wanting to let him out of your sight."

"Yeah... I'm not supposed to be talking to you, by the way." As tired as I was, my mind was jumping around in random bursts, unable to stay on one track for long. 

"Says who?" she frowned.

"Special Agent Asshole. Says I can't talk to you because you're a reporter. The case is too sensitive. Told him to fuck off, that I'd talk to whomever I wanted. I can't discuss the investigation with you, though."

"I know. I just figured I'd keep trying as long as I could. Come on, let's get you back before you have a stroke." She got up and grabbed her keys, since I was already pacing back and forth like a puppy wanting to go for a walk. Paul and Charlotte came along with us and hugged me with promises to see me tomorrow. 

Heading to the fifth floor, I tipped my head back against the elevator wall and closed my eyes. The lobby and elevator were empty at this hour of night, past normal visiting hours. I was calmer now, but I still dreaded walking into that hospital room and facing Michael and his false niceness for Daniel's sake, or worse, that pitying smile like I was some sort of tragic heroine everyone knows will wither away in the end. Shit. Where did that guy get off? 

I was in no mood for his crap. If not for Daniel, hurt and broken in the hospital bed, I would've turned around and kept walking so I didn't have to see Michael. So, when I stepped off the elevator and saw Gray wandering around in the waiting room, coming toward me the moment he saw me, I groaned out loud. Fuck, now what?

"What did he say to you?"

"Oh, you mean your boyfriend? He just followed me to the elevator to tell me that Daniel was only going with me out of gratitude and that as soon as he was in his right mind he'd fall over himself leaving me."

"Argh." Swiping his hand over his face, Gray shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Rylan. I can't believe he did that."

"Don't apologize for him. He might be right, who knows?"

"He's not, Rylan. Danny loves you. It's obvious."

"And it's obvious that Michael can't handle it." I stared Gray straight in the eyes. "So, how long has your boyfriend been in love with Daniel?"

That made him skip a beat and a flush rose in his cheeks. "Um. I don't know that he's in love with Daniel, but Michael was really close to Ray. You know about Ray, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, anyway, Ray was like an older brother figure to Michael, a mentor, and when Ray and Daniel got together I think Michael was very hurt even though Ray made it clear that it was never going to happen with him and Michael. So, Michael was drawn to Daniel and I've heard him say that he wished he'd met Daniel first. This all happened before Michael and I started seeing each other, we've been together for about four years now and Ray has been gone almost two. When Ray died, I almost thought Michael would... well. He says it's friendship and I believe him." 

Gray shrugged. I stared at him in disbelief. These two were something else. I know I couldn't deal with my lover being hung up on someone else. Fucking someone, getting a blowjob in a club, yeah, but not being in love with another man for the entire relationship. But if Gray could accept it, then who was I to say anything? It was none of my business anyway so I just kept my mouth shut.

"So Daniel is ready to let go of Ray and move on, but Michael isn't."

"Maybe," Gray answered after he blinked for a few seconds. "You might be right about that. But he's going to have to eventually, and please Rylan, just don't let him try to chase you away from Danny. I think his intentions are good but it's not his decision to make."

I had my doubts about Michael's good intentions, frankly, but I didn't share that thought. "Well, I have no illusions that he might not be right, but I'm going to stay around as long as Daniel wants me. Excuse me. I need to see him."

Stepping around Gray, I headed down the hall to the room, where Daniel was propped up and smiling, although still a little pale, at something Michael said. He lit up when I walked into the room and went over to kiss him. 

"The doctor said I could go home tomorrow, Ry, that my urine is clear and I can get off the IV in the morning. Isn't that great?"

I smiled, forgetting all about Michael and Gray and all their crap and their drama. Everything else was just an annoyance. To me all that mattered was that Daniel was here, and getting better, and it was all over.

****


Chapter 34

"Rylan. You busy?"

I sighed patiently and hit Control-S to save my work on the dimly glowing computer screen. 

"Ready to get out now?" I called back. He was just past the doorway in the master bath, soaking in the tub. I was about to change all his bandages anyway, so as long as he didn't get the wounds in his shoulder wet he could bathe; showers were still out though. He still got tired too easily to stand up that long even with me to support him.

"Not yet... Can you help me a minute? But if you're writing..."

"S'okay, just editing."

I got up and headed through the door. The whirlpool tub in my master bath, connected to my office, had never been used until the past two weeks while Daniel was staying here. He lay back in water up to his waist with his arm strapped in the black sling that kept it tight against his chest. His eyes were shocking blue, contrasting with the white tiles. The rest of him, unfurled in the tub, was lean and naked and beautiful but when I caught a glimpse of the bruised, damaged skin around his bandages, it still made my stomach lurch.

"I wish I could get all the way in the water... sink down up to my neck and turn the jets on. My muscles are so fucking sore."

I sank down to my knees on a towel and grabbed the shower gel off the side of the tub, squeezing a big blob into my hands. It smelled sweet and fruity, like mangoes. Daniel leaned forward slightly, his tanned skin wet and shiny. His hair had grown back enough to look like a standard buzz-cut. He didn't care if he was scruffy but since I liked him clean-shaven, I carefully shaved his face every morning; he could eat with his left hand now but he wasn't coordinated enough to shave himself. About the only thing he couldn't wash on his own was his left arm and his back. I knew he was tired when his head dropped forward and he let out a little groan as I slid my soapy hands over the smooth, silky expanse of his back, his muscles so hard and rippling under the softness of his skin.

"Then you'd miss my great massage."

"Mmmhmm." He melted under my hands, his stiff muscles undulating, stretching. Touching him like this sent a warm ripple over me that filled my cock. Every time we did this, I ended up hard and aching, and so did he. I wasn't in a hurry though. He couldn't do too much, we had to take things very slowly, and also, he was leaving in the morning and I wanted to enjoy every inch of him.

"Who's going to do this after tonight?" I whispered. Watching a drop of water trail down his spine to the crack of his ass, my tongue longed to follow it.

"Michael?" he suggested, grinning wickedly over his shoulder at me.

"I was thinking Liz." I splashed him with water and we both laughed, shuddering over the image of his chunky lesbian friend in my place. She'd driven up from Tallahassee the day after Christmas to see Daniel. She stayed in the guest room and she was very nice, if not someone you would want to wash your back. Gray and Michael would be here in the morning to take Daniel back home for a couple of weeks. It was time for him to start physical therapy and the police department was beginning to grumble at his absence in their internal hearings.

"Here, put your head back." 

Daniel closed his eyes and tilted his head back, letting out a long sigh as I massaged his neck with my soapy hands, taking long strokes up over his head and circling his sensitive scalp, and stroking away the lines of pain etched on his forehead and temples. Goosebumps broke out over his body when I slowly moved my palm over his short, soft hair and under the water, his dick was hard and flushed. 

"That feels so good..."

I smiled. I couldn't keep from tasting him anymore. I leaned across the edge of the tub and licked a drop of water from his left shoulder, the uninjured one. His arms were so sexy, even the bandages gave him sort of a war-hero appeal. Hard muscles defined under the satin skin I could lose myself in forever.

"So do you," I whispered into his ear. I slid my tongue down his neck and he rolled his eyes back, reaching up to put his left hand behind my head. I caught him as he started to slip down into the water. "Whoa. Here, let me rinse you."

I grabbed the plastic pitcher off the side of the tub and turned the faucet on, letting the water run over my hand until it was hot but not too hot. I watched the look of pure pleasure on his face as I poured the water down the back of his neck, rinsing the soap away in a river of suds. 

He turned his head and kissed me, pulling me closer. I watched his eyes close as our lips teased and nibbled, but I kept mine open in case he slipped again. It was actually pretty awkward, leaning over the edge of the tub on my knees, supporting his weight and kissing him at the same time, with my hard-on trapped against the edge of the tiles, but I didn't complain because he felt so good, wet and naked, and his tongue was so sweet in my mouth. Finally, though, my knees hurt and I pulled back gently. 

"Let's get you out of there." I hit the drain and Daniel wrapped his arm around my neck, soaking me with the water clinging to his skin. I supported him carefully as he got to his feet and stepped out of the tub, dripping and shaky from the effort. He was exhausted, but still stubborn.

"I can do it," he said when I grabbed a towel and started to dry him. I hid a sigh. Even after two weeks, he still tried to fight me.

"I want to do it," I said softly against his ear. My tongue flicked out and grazed his earlobe and I felt him shudder and give in. With that settled I gently patted his face and hair dry with the towel.

"You've got to be tired of babying me by now." 

He meant it to be joking but it sounded rather pathetic. I smiled and brushed a kiss over his lips as I carefully dried his chest around the bandages. Still sore, still bruised and broken, and he was leaving tomorrow. I made myself not think of him trying to do all this alone. He said he could, that he would be okay, he'd let his friends help him and not try to push himself too hard and make himself hurt more, and I trusted him. I did. I had to trust him but I still wished I could be there for him.

"I don't mind taking care of you, Daniel. You know that."

"I know. I just don't know why."

"Um, maybe because I love you? Duh." I rolled my eyes a little before I ducked away. Grabbing a towel, I folded it in half and put it on the edge of the tub. My heart was thumping in my throat and sweat prickled in my hair that had nothing to do with the steamy heat in the bathroom. I'd never said the words "I love you" before, I didn't think I needed to. I showed it in every way I could and that was what mattered. He knew, and I was sure he felt the same way, but some little-boy part of me was still afraid he'd laugh at me, or worse, give me that pitying look Michael gave me next to the elevator in the hospital. 

"Here, sit on this." I eased him back and supported his weight as he sat down on the towel. He hated admitting how much simple things exhausted him, but I knew just by looking at him. He was tired but my words had lit a fire in his eyes and he stared at me intently, making me squirm, making me blush. I couldn't meet his eyes. I knelt between his legs and slowly dried his feet, nuzzling along the line of his calf, the light hair tickling my cheek. He relaxed then and grinned at me, spreading his knees to show me his dick was hard. Yeah, it was probably wrong to use sex to get my way, but it was the only time he gave in and let me fully take care of him.

As I slowly worked my way over his body with the towel, he fumbled with my soaked t-shirt, trying to pull it over my head with one hand. I stopped and peeled it off and he wrapped his fingers in my hair as I licked my way up his inner thigh, hands on his knees, pressing them open. The sweet scent of the mango soap made me drunk, his hot, damp skin under my tongue and his hand gently tugging at my hair and his cock inches from my face. I looked up into his eyes as I licked the tip of his dick, circling the head with my tongue. Tastes so good. 

It was different with him hurt. I had to be so careful, so gentle and that was different from the rough play and aggressive fucks we indulged in before he was shot. It forced us to be more tender; instead of fucking all night, we kissed and talked and cuddled until his nightly pain pill dragged him into sleep. It was different, but nice. Didn't mean I didn't want sex, but we both knew we couldn't do much. Daniel was too weak and I was afraid of reopening his gunshot wounds if his blood pressure got too high, so it was a lot of leisurely blowjobs for him and a lot of masturbation for me, with an occasional hand job as he felt better. 

Emotionally, we were closer than ever but I was missing the sex more and more every day. It was getting harder to wait until he felt better. I missed the warmth of him inside me, I missed being filled by him so much more than I ever imagined I could. Yeah, I loved fucking him and I could probably have done that if we were very careful, but right now I wanted him deep inside me until we forgot we were two separate people. I wanted his hands on my ass, making it burn and then taking the pain away along with all my doubt and fear. I wanted the release only he could give me.

Just thinking about it made the heat wash over me until I felt like I would implode and I moaned around his cock as I sucked it long and slow. He caught his breath and grabbed hard at my hair. I slid back from his cock and slowly swirled my tongue over his balls and down to the sweet little spot under them. He bucked and I pulled away. I didn't want him to hurt himself. Besides, I had an idea. 

"Come on." I sounded harsh even to myself. Taking his hand, I led him down the hall to the bedroom and flipped on the lamp next to the bed. He lay back in the soft tangle of sheets, blankets and pillows watching me strip in the golden lamplight.

"I love your freckles, did you know that?"

I couldn't stop the blush that rose up. "The pain pills are starting to erode your gray matter."

Daniel chuckled and then raised his eyebrow as I opened the drawer and pulled out the lube and a condom. "What're you doing? I'm so not cleared for this kind of strenuous activity," he said, amused. And not protesting.

"It won't be strenuous for you. You're just going to lie still on your back with your dick up my ass."

He grinned, eyes lighting up like he'd gotten a new bike for Christmas. "I won't tell if you won't." 

"Not a word."

Daniel's fingers lazily stroked my chest and tugged at my nipples as I straddled him on my knees. His sheathed cock slid through my lubed hand, making it slick and wet. My knees were shaking and he watched my eyes as I stroked myself until I shivered. Then he lifted his hand and I squirted some lube onto his fingers. Even left-handed, his fingers were nimble and wicked, teasing my hole, slipping in and then darting away and leaving me empty and aching. I fell forward onto my hands and knees over him, carefully supporting my own weight so I wouldn't hurt him even as I groaned and panted into his mouth at the feeling of his fingers filling me and opening me. 

"Oh, god, Daniel... fuck me." I hardly even knew what I was saying. 

"It's going to hurt if you rush this."

"Don't care."

I pushed back to my knees and leaned back. The tip of his cock brushed my ass and I wrapped my hand around the base, steadying it. It did burn when I sank down, a sharp pinch and a deep, dull burn. I stopped, suspended with my eyes closed, just waiting, waiting desperately for that split-apart feeling to pass and the pleasure to start. I felt his hand wrap around my shaft, thumb spreading the sticky wetness around and around the tip, swirling, and the deep burning tingle radiated into my balls and gathered into a knot of ecstasy and I moaned with relief when the pain went. Such a relief to have him in me.

"Yeah, fuck, more."

I moved slowly and opened my eyes. Daniel's lip was caught between his teeth and his head tipped back as I started to gently rock back and forth on his cock . The pleasure overtook him, but I felt his hips jerk and thrust upward and even amidst the waves of sex, I felt a stab of guilt. Maybe this was too soon, maybe I should've waited and not pushed him into this before his doctor okayed it...

"Daniel, are you hurting?"




Between the Bars Pt. 07



"Huh? No, fine. Great. God your ass feels good."

"'Kay... but don't move... let me do it all, and stop me if you hurt..."

Slowly, carefully I moved for both of us, using my hand to take care of myself so that his one good hand was free to roam. His cock slid in me and stroked me just right until I was trembling and the pressure was building in a slow intense rhythm like waves breaking on the beach. Daniel lay back just watching me through heavy-lidded eyes, toying with my balls, trying not to thrust. His hand slid up and pressed against the base of my belly right above my cock and he grinned at my startled gasp from what was happening - pressure from the inside and pressure from the outside - rubbing against my prostate until I cried out from the intensity, and then he reached back and grabbed my ass, squeezing it roughly. I felt his fingers on my slippery hole, pulling it open for the invasion of his cock and the orgasm hit me without warning, like a punch in the gut. Just as I exploded, he drew his hand back and slapped my ass hard. Bright sparks shot through me and I came so hard, my cum splattered his chest and ran down my hand onto his belly. The intense, tight contractions made him shudder and he came, spurting into my aftershocks.

"Holy shit, Daniel..."

It wasn't very romantic but it was all I could think of to say. He laughed as I rolled off him onto my back next to him, wiping the sweat from my face. We lay there side by side for quite awhile, letting our breathing even out, getting slow and sleepy. Finally, I roused myself out of the post-orgasmic stupor.

"Come on. Gotta change your bandages and stuff."

"They're fine," he mumbled, eyes closed. He was drifting off to sleep without drugs, but I knew it wouldn't be long before he woke up in pain.

"Maybe so, but you need your pain medicine."

"Tired of pills."

"I know you are, but you're taking them because the doctor said so. After tomorrow, you can decide for yourself because I won't be there to make you. Now come on."

Reluctantly, Daniel heaved himself off the bed and we went into the bathroom, cleaned up all the cum and did the bandage thing. The shoulder wounds had finally stopped oozing over the past week, but there were spots of fresh blood on the gauze and I felt guiltier than ever. I shouldn't have fucked him. With a grin, he assured me it was worth it and he swallowed his industrial-strength Demerol without any more complaints, so I'd feel better. Back under the blankets, lights off, he tipped his head sideways against mine. He had to lie on his back, so our cuddling was limited to me curled against his left side, head on the pillow next to his, breathing against his neck. He still smelled faintly of mango.

"Gonna miss you."

"Me too. You don't have to go, you know. You could stay here a little while longer, till you're a little better... the department can survive without you another week."

"Maybe, but we've both got work to do... you haven't gotten much done with me here."

"It's okay," I answered softly. My editor was bitching about the deadline but I really didn't care.

"Anyway, the sooner I get everything taken care of, the sooner I can come back. You could come visit for a few days in between, you know."

"Yeah, I'll probably do that." Just hearing him say he wanted to get back to me flooded me with elation. I knew what he said in the hospital, that he needed me always, but he was so drugged then I wasn't sure he meant it . When he said it now, he said it with a clear head and I was still so amazed and thankful and filled with joy that, despite my silly doubts, he really did want to be with me.

"Hey," Daniel muttered thickly as he drifted off to sleep.

"Yeah?"

"Love you too."

I smiled in the dark. I'd written about this feeling in every single novel I'd ever penned and I believed it was real, but I never believed it could happen to me. I thought I was different somehow, damaged, that nobody could really know me and still love me the way I am. Daniel did and it still fucking amazed me at the same time it filled me with wonder. He didn't ask me to do anything or be anything other than myself. He really did love me. I didn't know why but he did.

"I know."

******


Chapter 35

"What will you have to do in court when you get to Chicago?" 

I turn away from the front window, where I'm peering out for the tenth time in the past hour, waiting for the sight of Paul's truck coming up the drive. He's picking up Daniel at the airport. I was planning to go myself, but Paul just happened to be going to St. Louis today to pick up a backhoe part, and since it's an hour drive one way, it would've been silly to make another trip. The anticipation is killing me though. 

My grandma and Charlotte are in the farmhouse kitchen, cooking a vast meal. I've been helping off and on but I can't really concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes so they finally told me to just let them do it. I have no problem with that.

I drop down at the kitchen table. "Federal grand jury's convening for Adkins's indictment. My testimony won't be huge, but Daniel is a key witness. Could take weeks."

Charlotte frowns while whisking gravy. "Why are they doing this in Chicago, and not in Florida where this is all started?"

Same question we've been asking. It would make things a lot easier for us; the IAD hearings about Olmos are still gasping away and Daniel's right in the middle of therapy for his shoulder, and now we have to uproot to Chicago. "Because it's the federal government. They have jurisdiction everywhere and they can do whatever the fuck they want."

"Rylan."

I grin sheepishly, sticking my tongue out at Charlotte who's giving me the you are so in trouble smirk from over at the stove. The fact that we're adults doesn't impress my grandma. "Sorry Gram. Forgot."

Too late though, she's already coming toward me with her fingers outstretched. I clap my hand to my ears too slowly. She grabs my left ear and pinches, making me howl. 

"Son of a b..." She tweaks harder and it hurts like hell, but I manage to shut my mouth before bitch comes out and my grandma lets go and smiles.

"That's better."

I make a face and rub my ear and grumble under my breath, but I don't dare mutter out loud even when she's gone back over to the sink to drain the boiled potatoes. Grandma may look like a sweet little old lady, and the top of her head barely clears my collarbone, but she has some strong fingers and she absolutely hates swearing.

"So you have no idea how long this is going to take?" Charlotte resumes asking questions.

"My testimony should be done in a day. All I have to do is get on the stand and tell the grand jury what I saw; and I've told the story so many times I could tell it in my sleep." I shrug. "But Daniel might have to get on the stand numerous times, through different parts of the trial. There is no way to know when they'll need him, or for how long. That's why we're letting the federal government put us up in an extended stay hotel... we'll be able to come back here on weekends, or when the court goes into recess."

"And you'll have plenty of time to write," my grandma says, looking for a bright side.

"Um, yeah. Something like that. Kat wants to do a feature on us while we're up there." This story has been great for Kat's career, and even Alex, who tried to downplay his role in the events of that day, had a high-profile new job with MSNBC that he viewed with both excitement and distrust. 

Four-wheeler engines roar up behind the barn and we watch out the window as Jeremy, Madison and my grandpa turn donuts in the patches of melting, slushy snow in the field, churning up mud and screaming with glee. My grandpa looks like he's having a blast and that makes me smile. My grandma shakes her head, pretending to disapprove, even though we can see the corners of her mouth tugging upward.

"Charlotte, go outside and tell those three kids to get in here and clean up before company comes."

"Too late." Charlotte nods her head toward the driveway leading to the barn, where finally, at last, Paul's red truck is pulling into the gravel. I didn't hear it over the noisy four-wheelers. I run outside, ignoring my grandma's voice calling after me to get a jacket.

It isn't cold enough that I'll freeze without one anyway. Not like the last time Daniel and I were here at the farm. The power and the gas are on for one thing, and we're having a rather pleasant February thaw, with temperatures in the upper forties, sunshine that melts the snow off the roads and yards, and a cool spring breeze. Wouldn't bother me a bit if it stayed like this. It makes leaving the sunny coast of Florida for snowy Illinois in the middle of winter a little less jarring.

The passenger door of the double-cab truck opens just as I reach it and Daniel slides out to his feet, smiling at me, eyes so blue like the thin cloudless spring sky and I wrap my arm around his neck, careful not to crush his arm in a sling beneath his smooth black leather jacket. Clearing his throat, Paul grins, grabs Daniel's bags out of the truck's back seat and trudges up the walk without a word to leave us to our reunion.

Our eyes devour each other for a moment, and then Daniel rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes briefly, as if in relief. "God, I missed you."

"Missed you too, so much."

I reach up and brush his stubbly jaw. His hair has grown out to something resembling a short, sexy cut and his face has finally lost the gaunt, exhausted look he's had since he was lying in that hospital bed. His cheeks are smooth and not hollow. He's put on a few pounds and he looks wonderful. I pull open the right side of his unzipped jacket so I can see his arm, gently touching him with my fingers, reassuring myself he's still all in one piece. Instead of the bulky sling that kept his arm bound tightly to his chest, he's wearing a different, smaller sling without a splint that just keeps his arm supported. He grins, lifts it slightly and wiggles his fingers, and I smile, nodding at his progress.

"You need a shave."

"You'll have to get on that in the morning."

Without even looking at the windows, I know my aunt and probably my grandma are watching us from the kitchen. There's nothing else to do for entertainment. And so, I grab Daniel's hand and lead him around to the other side of the truck so their view is obscured. Why should they get a free show? Daniel leans back against the driver's side door and wraps his left arm around my neck; I put my hands on either side of his head to keep from pressing against his right shoulder, letting him draw me in, keeping my weight off him while our lips meet softly. His mouth is sweet and addicting and I'm so hungry for the taste of him after being apart for almost two weeks that my lips are needy and demanding, descending on his mouth and engulfing him. I want to swallow him. He smiles at my urgency and teases my tongue with his, swirling it into my mouth. Lips so warm. My knees go weak and I have to breathe in sharply through my nose, inhaling his scent. 

"Rylan, get in the house. Time to eat," my grandpa orders from the other side of the truck, another world. We're an island here in the driveway. I draw my lips away from Daniel's reluctantly. Our two-week separation turned into four weeks since he left Atlanta and a week and a half since I had to come home from Tallahassee for business. It's been hell, being away from him.

"Be right there."

Excited laughing voices chatter on the other side of the world, my niece and nephew going into the house with my grandpa, splattered with mud. The screen door slams and I smile at Daniel, whose eyes read a sudden flash of hesitation.

"Guess we have to do this sometime, huh?" He takes a breath, as if my family were a firing squad he must face.

"Don't worry. They'll love you, like I do." I kiss him one last time and then take his hand. We go up to the sidewalk hand-in-hand, but Daniel lets go and drops my hand when we reach the final few steps, his eyes going to the grinning faces in the window. I can't say I'm not a little dejected, but I can understand, it is his first time meeting my whole family and you never know how people are going to react. I hate adjusting my actions around other peoples' comfort zones, but it's not a new thing. It just comes with the territory and I tell myself I should be used to it by now. I open the screen door and lead him in.

The kitchen is all brightness and warmth and delicious smells of the traditional family Christmas feast we didn't get to have this year because I stayed in Atlanta to take care of Daniel. Christmas was only two weeks after the shooting and he was still in too much pain to go anywhere or be around a lot of people, even though my grandma desperately wanted us to come. Instead, I just invited Drew and Louis over and we had an elegant dinner and talked until Daniel got too tired, and then they left and we just cuddled on the couch and watched old movies, with Daniel drifting in and out of sleep, head in my lap. It was the best Christmas I'd ever had.

I love my family but they cook way too much food. Food is a production and it's also a token of love so you have to eat yourself sick or my grandma will feel slighted. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls and enough desserts and side dishes to feed an army. The army will be here tomorrow for my grandma's birthday, in the form of aunts and uncles and cousins, but for right now, it's just immediate family. Paul's next to the stove quietly reading the St. Louis paper he picked up while he was in town. Daniel returns Charlotte's hug but I can see him quailing a little as my grandma steps up with her hand outstretched.

"Daniel, it's so nice to meet you."

Of course, she doesn't have a chance of resisting Daniel's slightly shy southern charm. He's adorably nervous and calls her "Miss Opal" because his upbringing just won't let him call her by her first name without the Miss, even after she asks him to. Even though I prepared him, I can tell he's a bit bewildered by the friendly welcome. I certainly didn't get the same from his family when he brought me to meet them. Sure, his sisters were nice, the new baby was sweet and his mom wasn't exactly rude; it was just obvious that she wasn't interested in welcoming her son's lover into the family, and that was fine. I would've liked it to be different for his sake, but not everyone has a family like mine. Watching my grandma reach up and pat Daniel's cheek, and the way he smiles down at her in return, looking truly pleased and grateful, I'm just glad I can share a little of their love with him.

I feel his tension, though, when my grandfather walks into the room, damp from washing off the mud. At six-feet-four, he towers over most people and he looks very imposing with his stern face, his thick hair going from red to gray, and his piercing blue eyes, squinted in the corners from decades looking across the fields in the blazing sun. I know Daniel is nervous but he has nothing to fear. Like me, my grandpa's reserved with new people, but like me, once he knows and accepts someone, he does it wholeheartedly. 

"Daniel, this is my grandpa, Wilbur Kennedy, but everyone calls him Red. Grandpa, this is Daniel Braden."

"So you're the hero," my grandpa says as he shakes Daniel's hand.

"No sir. I'm not a hero, I was just doing my job." 

I happen to be watching my grandpa when Daniel says this and I can see that skeptical look hovering in his eyes. But when he sees that Daniel is genuine, and not just trying to play off false modesty, he smiles, which is a good and rather surprising thing, because my grandpa doesn't smile that often, especially around strangers. They like him. I knew they would. I'm sent off to put Daniel's jacket in the bedroom, where I notice his bags on the floor. I'll have to take them upstairs later. Sleeping arrangements haven't been discussed. I hate the idea of separate rooms upstairs, but every time I've brought someone home, that's been the protocol. It's easy to sneak down the hall at night, but I wish I didn't have to. I should be used to it by now, and I am, but with Daniel, it's different. I thought I was over all that and now I resent it all afresh, like it's something completely new and we're the first ones to ever have to downplay things for family. It just feels wrong, like I'm seventeen again, hiding who I really am, and it's all so unfair, and feeling all those things again when I've always thought they're dead inside me, that I've finally accepted it, is strangely exhilarating. 

When I return, Jeremy and Madison have been called in from the living room where they were playing with their new Xbox they got for Christmas. My whole family is gathering in the kitchen to serve themselves from the stove and the dishes and platters laid out on the counter and the kitchen table. When Daniel spots the pies lined up on the table, right where he bent me over, his eyes find mine over all the heads and he grins. A little tingle shoots down my spine and into my cock and I clear my throat and turn away, smirking to myself.

"What would you like on your plate, Daniel? Do you like turkey or ham?"

"Here, Ma, you can go ahead and sit down at the table. I'll fix Daniel's plate."

Daniel stands there between my grandma and Charlotte, looking uncomfortable while they fight over who gets to fix his plate. I laugh at his pleading look, but I shrug. There's nothing I can do to save him now. Apparently, they've decided to cooperate; my grandma arranges slices of turkey on a plate while Charlotte dishes up fluffy mashed potatoes and stuffing. My grandma explains that it's not cornbread stuffing like he's probably used to being from the south but she's sure he might like it, it's my favorite after all. Paul complains jokingly that nobody ever fixes his plate.

"You have two good arms," Charlotte tells her husband. Her whole demeanor changes, from brisk to adoring and solicitous, when she turns back to Daniel. Can't blame them a bit. Well I know how that wounded-war-hero thing of his gets to you. "Do you want gravy over everything, or just your mashed potatoes?"

Eventually, we all end up at the dining room table. My family isn't big on formality but the grown-ups always eat together while the kids take their plates to the coffee table. Usually, I end up hanging out with them instead of the so-called adults, but I sit beside Daniel and cut up his ham and turkey for him. My grandma is crushed that she didn't think to do it.

"I'm sorry, I should've given you smaller pieces."

"It's okay, I'm used to it," I grin at Daniel. It embarrasses him that he still can't do some simple tasks, but instead of grumbling about it like he usually does, he just lingers over me with his eyes.

"Yes, and you do a good job," he says softly. 

Everyone's suddenly uncomfortable and we break out of our little moment. We do that sometimes, look at each other and just forget the rest of the world exists. It never fails to send flights of butterflies fluttering through me. I push him his plate, looking away from his face down at the table. I just want to touch him and be near him all the time. The rest of this - as much as I love my family - it's all just an annoyance, keeping me from being alone with him.

"So Daniel, how's your arm? What's the prognosis?" my grandpa asks after a bit, while we're all eating. The food is delicious as always. My grandma and Charlotte monitor Daniel's eating carefully, watching to see if he runs out of anything he likes, or doesn't care for something. 

"It's doing pretty well, they took the splint off and I'm doing therapy three days a week. I got a referral for someone in Chicago, by the way, Rylan. I've gotten some motion back and the doctors are happy with the way it's healing. They say I'm actually ahead of schedule at this point."




Between the Bars Pt. 07



"As long as you don't try to do too much and hurt it again," I just have to say. He rolls his eyes at me; it's been a constant battle to keep him from pushing things. I understand his need for independence and his impatience with relying on other people, but damn, is he stubborn.

"Did you tell them about your new book deal yet, Ry?" Daniel deftly changes the subject.

"Oh, you have a new contract? That's great, sweetie," my grandma says. Everyone nods but I've published over thirty novels, so it's not earth-shaking news. 

"Yeah, but this one's different." I grin at Daniel. "I've always wanted to write a sci-fi novel but I never felt like I had the ability. Daniel convinced me to give it a try, and I ran it by my agent who pitched it to a couple of publishing houses... one of them picked it up, complete with an advance and they optioned a trilogy, all published under my own name. I've got to do press and everything." I shudder exaggeratedly. My family is a little more impressed this time and they all add their congratulations, but they don't realize what a big deal this is. Only Daniel and I do. He smiles at me. Time to tell them the rest.

"That's not all. Um, I've been waiting to tell you all this until it was definite, but I'm going back to the University of Illinois next semester and finishing up my doctorate. This novel is also my dissertation. I've already had it approved, and part of this trip is going before the committee for an official presentation. I figure after all the interviews I've done and testifying in front of a federal grand jury, the doctoral committee should be no big deal."

"Wait, does this mean that you're moving home?" Charlotte demands. 

"Well, sort of. I'm selling my house in Atlanta, and I'll probably be spending a lot of time in Florida with Daniel, but the rest of the time I'll be here and just drive to Champaign when I need to be on campus." I nod. 

My family is happy, I knew they would be, and it makes me feel good that they want me to be closer. Even though my grandparents live in Sarasota, this is still home to them; they've never liked me being in Atlanta, even though it is closer to them. They want us all together. This whole adventure with Daniel has made me realize how important family is. I'll be further from him, yes, but I keep telling myself it won't be permanent and we'll spend as much time with each other as we can until we can be together full-time. We've already gotten everything decided.

"Eventually, Daniel will be going back to work when his arm gets better, but I'll still have the flexibility to travel about twice a month to see him, until I get the dissertation finished and then figure out what we're going to do from there."

"Actually, uh." Daniel suddenly puts down his fork and looks over at me. The slightly tense note in his voice makes me stiffen. 

"What?"

He grins at me, but he looks nervous. My heart starts to thump. 

"Actually, I quit the force."

For a moment, I don't know what to say. We never talked about this. Everyone else stops eating to watch the scene. "You what?"

"Yeah. I'm still on medical leave, but when it runs out, I'm going to take disability. You know what the doctors say. My arm may never heal completely. There's no way to know right now, but even if it does, if I returned to active duty, it might seem okay and then fail me at a crucial moment, like a gun that jams. That would make me a liability and I can't take that chance with my life or my fellow officer's lives."

I should be happy, ecstatic even. I've wished so hard he wouldn't return to police work that I'm afraid to believe it. "But what about Internal Affairs?"

He shakes his head. "With all the publicity from this case, my cover has been completely blown; even with the gag orders, my face has been in the media too much. I'll never work undercover again, and Ry, you know I'm not cut out for a desk job. There's no way I could do that until I retire. This way, I get a disability check but I can still do something useful. Besides, even if I could return to active duty, I wouldn't. I don't want you to ever feel like I did when Ray was killed."

I still can't form a complete thought and I sit there speechless while my grandparents and Paul and Charlotte start to grin as they realize what Daniel is doing. I stammer, bewildered. "But... but what...?" 

Now Daniel is smiling and so is everyone else and they're all staring at me, waiting for it to sink in. 

"I took a job with the Illinois State Police academy in Springfield. I'm going to be teaching classes on undercover vice and narcotics operations."

"Springfield?" It sinks in now, all at once. That's less than an hour away from here. "You're..."

"Yes, I am." He nods and I feel the realization start to dawn over me. He's moving here to be with me. No long separations, no flying back and forth to Florida twice a month. Daniel wants to be where I am. Still, I doubt, I question.

"But what about a house? Do you want to live closer to your job? You've never lived in the country before. We never talked about this..."

"Well, there's this little white farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere that I have my eye on, but I'm probably going to have to make a deal with the farm boy who owns it. Think he'll be interested?"

I nod. I don't want to make even more of a fool out of myself, but I just can't stop smiling. Neither can the rest of the people watching, my whole family, right in front of my grandparents he's done this and I just can't believe it. "Yeah, I think he might work something out with you. As long as this is what you really want."

Under the table, Daniel's knee touches mine and he looks straight into my eyes. "I do."

His choice of words; I've long since gotten used to the fact those words would never mean to me what they could to other people, but right now, right here, they mean everything. I swallow to get the lump out of my throat.

"I do too."

****


Chapter 36

"It was nice of your grandparents to go stay with Charlotte and Paul. Convenient, that."

"Yeah, they've never done that before. They must really like you." 

"They must."

I curl up closer to his left side and nuzzle his collarbone. His left arm is wrapped around my shoulder and two glasses of bourbon on the rocks drip beads of condensation onto the coffee table in front of us. In a turkey-induced tryptophan stupor, we've been too lazy to keep putting logs on the grate so the fire has died down to a heap of glowing coals. Despite what Daniel might think, I didn't ask my grandma if she and Grandpa would let us have the house to ourselves. It was her idea. It was great but it surprised me. While she's never been anything but gracious to any of the men I'd brought home in the past, she never gave her approval either. No disapproval, just no acknowledgement. When she told me that she and Grandpa were staying with Charlotte for the rest of their visit, I protested, but she told me that she knew Daniel and I would like some time alone. I blushed; I'm sure my grandma knows I have sex, but we've never mentioned it and I like it that way. I hugged her to show my thanks.

"When do you start your new job? I should've asked you that before, but I was kind of distracted." I grin at him and he kisses the top of my head.

"We left that kind of open-ended. Can't really do anything until the grand jury and IAD finish with me."

"And what about the trial?"

"There's not going to be a trial. He's too valuable as a witness. They'll plead him down to lesser charges in exchange for naming names and giving testimony against his co-conspirators. Like I've said before, he's just a link in the chain."

"But after everything he's done? They're going to just let him hang out in federal prison for a few years? That's just..." This upsets me. Daniel doesn't seem bothered, but to me, it isn't just at all.

"It's the way the system works, Rylan." 

"And you're satisfied with that? You think that's justice?"

"When you're a cop, you can't think that way. I've brought in a lot of scum over the years. I do the best work I can so they won't walk on a technicality and the prosecutors have a good case against them, and after that, I can't control what happens. Sometimes, no matter how textbook my police work is, they plead out or a jury finds them not guilty and they walk. It's unbelievable, but it happens, and when it does, I know I did my job and I have to be satisfied with that. Justice is the job of the courts."

I nod slowly. All he could do was get them there and hand them over to the courts, in the best way he knew how. "Yeah. Still..." 

"That's the only closure cops get sometimes."

"But I want more for you." I feel a strange, desperate longing I've never felt before, a strong need to make everything right for him. "I want this to be over for you. I want you to know that Adkins got what he deserves."

He smiles. "You want resolution."

"Exactly. Is that so wrong?"

"No, but it's not real. That's the writer in you, wanting all the loose ends tied up in the last chapter. Doesn't always happen that way in real life." He leans over and kisses me so I know that he means it kindly. "If you weren't such a good shot, I wouldn't have even gotten that and the Feds wouldn't have any way to bring this whole thing down. So, thanks for that."

A slow blush spreads over my face. "You knew."

"Of course. Jensen let me see your taped testimony. I know what happened."

I rush to explain, to justify my dishonesty. "I just didn't want you to think I was trying to seem heroic, you know? That I wanted you to think I'm a better person than I am."

"I think you're pretty fucking great, actually. Come on." He gets to his feet and takes my hand, leading me toward the bedroom.

"You tired?"

"No. I brought something for you."

"Other than you, there's nothing I want."

He flips on the lamp and unzips his suitcase, rummaging around in an inner pocket. When I see what he pulls out, my breath catches in my throat.

Black nylon wrist restraints with a silver D-ring on each. Nothing too fancy. They close with Velcro and so does the nylon strap that runs between the D-rings to attach them. I've seen them before and automatically my heart starts to race and my throat feels thick. 

"I'm surprised they let you on the plane with those." I giggle nervously when I can speak again.

"I just had to blow the security guard." He laughs at the look on my face. "I'm kidding. Just flashed my badge and convinced airport security they were for official purposes."

"I guess that means you have to arrest me."

"Too bad for you." 

The verbal play covers the fact that I'm nervous. Daniel knows it and he doesn't put the restraints on me, he just tosses them on the bed. I wore them once when I was visiting him in Tallahassee. He told me there was a club he wanted to take me to, a certain kind of club I'd never been to before.

I was shaking with nervousness until he slipped the cuffs around my wrists and closed the Velcro. He left off the connector strap so to the unaware, they looked like two black wristbands. My hands were free and the cuffs weren't tight and for some reason, having them on calmed me and I actually felt a bit of a buzz when we walked into the club, in the back of an industrial building on a dark, empty street. It wasn't the kind of place you just wandered into. A few people recognized Daniel and he talked to some of the men there while I just looked around. The people he introduced me to were very nice and very respectful. Some of the other patrons were wearing collars and harnesses and studded leather cuffs and all sorts of things that made my black nylon cuffs seem sedate. Other than the attire, the only thing that made it different from any other club was the fact that I was wearing these restraints in public and everyone looked at them and knew exactly what they meant, and I wasn't embarrassed or shy about it at all. In fact, I felt a strange glow that I couldn't name.

"What'd you think?"

"It was... uh...not what I expected."

"It's not nearly that tame on weekends, and there's some back room action you didn't see, but I didn't want to scare you your very first time."

Since then I've been curious what happened in that place on nights when it wasn't so tame and at odd moments I've been finding myself thinking about the wrist cuffs and getting very hard, remembering what it was like to be there with him in a place where everyone knew and didn't think it was bad or wrong or perverted.

But because of Daniel's injury, we haven't done anything with the cuffs. He said it wasn't safe to use them when he wasn't completely able-bodied, in case something happened and he couldn't get me out of them. Apparently, he thinks he's able-bodied now and to be honest, it doesn't worry me that much. 

He sits down in the middle of the bed and motions me to sit next to him. I cross my legs under me, curious. My heart is pounding and my breath is beginning to get quick and shallow, from his body near me and the wrist restraints sitting just behind him on the bed. He sees my eyes keep darting to them and he smiles. 

"So I have this plan."

The raspy, sexy note in his voice makes me hard. "Plan?"

"Yes. I've come up with a plan to make you come without either one of us touching your dick. A hands-free orgasm."

"And how is that going to work, exactly?" I clear my throat. I'm so hard now, and the pit of my belly aches like a hungry beast is gnawing at it. Only he can do this to me, make me feel this way when we're both completely dressed, without even touching me, and I want him so much his words are like a lifeline that ties me to earth.

"Well," he says in this low, sexy voice that makes me shiver. His eyes are dark and intense and I want him to touch me so bad but I wait. I know it isn't time yet. "Did you get the package?"

"Yeah, it's in my suitcase upstairs."

"Did you try it out yet?"

"No... you told me not to, remember?"

"I remember, but I didn't think you'd listen." He grins briefly. "First, I'm getting you naked and slicked up with lube, so you shine for me, so wet and ready... and then I'm going to slide the plug deep inside you."

I'm shaking now and he's waiting for me to speak, but I can't and he smiles. I can see the outline of his hard cock pressing against the top of his thigh through his jeans and I know he feels like I do. The mental play is exhilarating for both of us. I've never had this with anyone else. It's a new level. Like my brain is just as excited as my body.

"Then." His voice is rough and I shake all over. My heart thumps so hard I can feel it in my dick. He looks at me, eyes gleaming, as I drop my head forward and pant. "I'm going to bind your wrists and put you on all fours with your ass in the air, and I'm going to spank you so that the plug inside you makes you feel so good. I'm going to spank you until your ass is red and burning and you come just from the feel of my hand. Can you come like that, Rylan?"

"Yes," I groan. My hand goes to my lap to touch myself, to free my cock from the tightness of my jeans. But I don't want to come, not yet. I tease the head of my cock through the cloth just enough to make that gnawing beast inside me roar with need.

"It doesn't hurt when I spank you, does it?"

"No. It feels good," I whisper. A deep, furious blush spreads over me and he watches, but he knows that I need to say this. Admitting it to myself is harder than admitting it to him, but he makes it okay for me. He makes me want to say it.

"You like it."

"Yes."

"Why do you like it?" He's gentle but relentless.

"Be-because it's you," I say so softly he can barely hear. I can't say it any louder. "Because only you can touch me that way." 

"Trust," he says when I stop and can't go on. "You trust me to do that you because you know I'll take care of you."

"God, yes," I breathe with the most intense feeling of relief. I didn't understand it myself until now and I feel an enormous weight lift off my chest. I feel so light, emptied out and new. "I know I'm safe with you..."

"Always. Now go upstairs and get that toy."

I don't want to spend time rummaging through my bag. I haven't unpacked, and thank whatever gods there might be that my grandma hasn't taken it upon herself to do it for me. I don't know if she'd know what to make of a butt plug and I don't want to find out. I grab the whole suitcase and drag it downstairs. Daniel's sitting on the bed waiting for me, naked now except for his shirt; he still needs help getting his shirts off. He can handle the buttons, but he needs me to take the sling off and support his arm while he pulls the sleeve off. When I finish, he pushes me back and asks me where it is. I unzip the pocket and pull out the toy, a sleek, smooth acrylic plug about five inches long that makes me tingle when I think about what he's going to do with it. He picked it out and ordered it online and had it shipped to me, with instructions to wait.

When I'm naked, he gently wraps the bonds around my wrists. He pushes me to the bed and flips me over, pushing my hands over my head. The connector strap hooks around one of the vertical metal bars on the headboard. The cuffs are snug but not tight and they feel so good. Daniel's voice in my ear tells me to stop thinking, to let him think, and I lose myself in a warm haze. I don't have to be nervous. It's good not to think sometimes. 

He pulls me to my knees and his voice is warm and soothing in my ears even though I don't know what he's saying. He smacks my ass hard and I moan. Oh god, it feels good. Sharp, poignant and stinging and I need more. More hard, stinging slaps that burn like electricity and Daniel's hands stroking the sting away. I need this. I need it. I don't know why and I don't care. I moan and he breathes a laugh as I thrust against the soft pillow under me. His voice telling me how hot I look and his hard, sharp slaps repeatedly on the curve of my ass until I can hardly bear the burning pleasure.

When he stops, I make this sound like a whimper but I can't move. The buzz has taken over my brain and I lie there panting until something cool drips on my skin and his fingers tease me and lube me just like he promised and his voice surrounds me in a cloud, telling me to spread my ass and I do. He slides the plug inside me and it fills me and stretches me and I moan, dropping to my elbows. The next hard smack to my ass almost makes me scream. The blow jolts the plug and it hits my prostate and then Daniel keeps on and on, smacking my ass again and again, praising me and saying "You're mine" over and over and I am, I want to be his, and I'm going to come so hard.

"Yeah, come for me now," he demands and the next time his hand makes contact with my flesh, I explode into an orgasm that starts deep inside me and the raw, edgy pleasure leaves me weak and shaking. 

In the trembling aftershocks, while everything seems to spin, I feel him slide the plug out and I feel empty and I squirm into the sheets.

"No, don't take it away."

Daniel laughs and pulls me firmly back to my knees and his body covers mine, our skins slipping together effortlessly with sweat, and when he pushes into me, I feel so relieved and I get hard again. 

"You loved that, didn't you?" he breathes in my ear. He fucks me slowly with long, deep strokes. "You love me owning you."

"Oh God yes," I say into the sheets. I never thought I could ever feel this way or give someone this kind of power over me. Not since what happened with Matt. But Daniel takes all that away. I push back against him and I let him possess me and I never have to be afraid. The bonds on my wrists are firm and he feels so good moving in me. I can give him control and know he'll never use it to hurt me. Only to make me feel good, to take all the heavy weight off me. And I'll do the same for him. I'll turn myself inside out for him.




Between the Bars Pt. 07



His rhythm changes, gets short and jerky. His breath speed up and he strokes my cock roughly. When he shoots, I come just after him, just from the feeling of knowing he's in me. And when he reaches up and releases the straps and tears open the Velcro, freeing my wrists, I drop down to my back beside him and I can't see or think in the cloud that takes over my brain and obliterates everything but the low, throbbing hum in my veins and the delicious burn spread all over my ass.

"I never thought this would happen to me again." Daniel's low voice reaches through my pleasant haze. It's almost like he's talking to himself. "When Ray died I thought this was all over for me. Most people never get this, and I've found it twice. Are you listening?"

"Mmm-hmm."

He whispers, and I understand. Some things just can't be said out loud. He doesn't talk this way so I know this is important. More important than any flowery declarations of love that I might spin on the pages of a novel.

"I was dead inside when I met you. I never expected to live through this investigation and I didn't really care. When Adkins pointed that gun at me, I suddenly did care; it dawned on me that I wanted to live after all. And you came and saved my life, but you also saved my heart. I want you to know that. I want to give you everything you want and need."

I swallow hard and open my eyes. He's sitting there next to me, looking down at my face and I reach up and touch his cheek, run my thumb over his damp, swollen lips. He is so fucking beautiful.

"You do."

He gives me that smile that has made me weak in the knees since the very first time I saw it, until it got inside me and became a part of me. He gets up and offers me his hand. 

"Come on, I'll wash your back." 

I grin and wince as I get to my feet. A deep, satisfying burn makes my ass throb. "Oh my god. I'm not gonna be able to sit down tomorrow."

"I'm sorry." He groans. "Did I take it too far?"

"No, it's okay. I like it. You were perfect." I follow him toward the bathroom, turning up the furnace as we pass the thermostat. We both like it warm when we soak in the tub. "When all the aunts and uncles and cousins are over, they'll all wonder why I'm standing up all day and only you and I will know the truth."

"Mmm, that will be hot."

I turn on the water in the big claw foot tub and we lean against the sink, kissing, as the steam rises and mists the mirror and the window over the tub that looks out onto the dark field beyond, where snow has begun to fall.

***

fin