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Acceptance

By: JoshuaGlynn



You know all the usual stuff, don't read if it's illegal or you don't like sex or sex between two males offends you. Joshua Glynn reserves all rights to this story, the characters, and the world they live in. 

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Acceptance 

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I was a typical teenage boy. I liked all of the things most typical boys my age were into, girls, games, girls, sports, girls, cars, girls, movies, and did I mention girls! I had dated several girls since freshman year, and I had fooled around with plenty of them, but I had not had sex with any of them. 

I wanted to have sex as much as the next guy, but I wasn't interested in a "one night stand." I wanted a relationship. It wasn't until my sophomore year that I found a girl that I really liked and dated steadily. Her name was Janice, and she was beautiful. 

I was kind of a big guy, not fat really, but broad and tall. I had always been a big guy. By eleventh grade, I was six foot-one, two hundred and forty pounds. I had a bit of a beer belly, but I looked like a line backer. Everyone always asked me 'why I didn't try out for sports' and although I did enjoy playing sports for fun, I had other interests. I was a geek! I loved chess, choir, band, and drama. I was even in several school plays. Yep. I was a geek, but I was a very popular geek.

I was friends with most of the jocks, and I was always invited to all the big parties. At the same time I had no problem fitting in with the geek crowd either. I stuck up for them any chance I got, and our school was a fairly bully free zone. The goths, the nerds, even some of the outed gay crowd, were all counted as my friends. I was and all around kind of guy. I loved it!

Janice was very special to me. I knew I had strong feelings for her, and she had strong feelings for me. I don't think, however, that we were ever really 'In Love'. Oh we liked each other enough to have sex. We were each other s firsts. We both came from Christian homes, and although we didn't really want to 'wait for marriage.' We both had the opinion that a committed relationship, was about as close as we wanted to get for a while. She was like me and didn't like the idea of just sleeping with the next guy that came along. We just really clicked together and we were the couple of the tenth and eleventh grade.

I also had this best friend. His name was Sylvester. I always called him Sly. We had been best friends for almost four years. Its beginnings are a bit strange though. You see Sly had been the skinny runt that all the neighborhood kids picked on. That was, until I moved into town. 

I had been walking through the new neighborhood, just checking things out, when a commotion caught my eye. I was fourteen at the time, but I had already started getting big. I liked to workout on the home gym, and just really liked working out, I know weird huh?

There were three kids about my age or maybe a year younger, none of them as big as me, picking and hitting this small, skinny kid. I started getting mad... I hate bullies. I ran over to see what was going on.

"Hey! What are you guys doing to that kid?"

"Who the fuck are you, dillhole?"

"Yea, mind you own business!!" the tallest of them said to me. 

The tall one then grabbed the poor kid again and he cried out in pain, tears streaking his face. His shirt had been ripped and I could see a bruise on his side. That was all I could stand!



I walked up to the first smart mouth, and landed a blow right on his nose. He went down holding his nose. I then spun around and round house kicked the shocked one standing to my left. He spun around and landed face first on ground, not moving. I think I knocked him out. That just left the asshole still holding on to the kid. 



He released the kid once he realized what I had just done and I'm sure the look on my face wasn't helping much, because he looked terrified. The small kid fell to the ground, being released, clutching his bruises. The asshole backed away, turned, and tried to make a run for it, leaving his buddies behind. I hate bullies, but what I hate even more are bully cowards! I did a sweep kick to his legs, and he fell to the ground planting his face in grass. I walked up, used my foot to roll him over on to his back, he was still groggy, and I applied pressure with my combat booted foot. He sobered up quick as he doubled up and grabbed at my foot, trying in desperation to relive the pain. He was crying out a bit loudly.

"I guess that hurts then doesn't it?" I lifted my foot slightly and before he had time to get his hands around it, I jabbed down my foot quickly. His cries stopped as he rolled over onto his side, in the fetal position, sucking in air. None of the kids ever messed with Sly again after that.

Sly and me became instant friends. There was always something about him. We just clicked. He was my best friend and I loved him like a little brother I never had. (I was an only child.) We had had so much in common. We both loved all the same things, did most of them together, we even slept over at each others houses on the weekends. 

We talked about, well just about everything, especially Sex. When we found some porn mags in his older brother's closet, we would sit for hours reading and looking at the pictures and talk dirty, we never jerked off around each other like some kids did. We were actually kinda shy around each other. We had never been naked around each other before, but I had no problems showering at school around the other guys.

I had the broad chest, tall, muscular thing going on for me, but Sly developed into quite a strong and well toned young man himself. He came over and worked out with me often and he loved to skateboard. Skateboarding was one thing I never had the coordination for. Every time I tried I would bust my ass. Sly however, was awesome!

Sly, at eighteen, was about five foot six, one hundred and fifty-six pounds. He had that skater / swimmers body, with jet-black hair that was always hanging in his bright green eyes and this pale, almost milk colored skin. He was always getting bad sun burns in the summer. He had these funny dimples in his cheeks when he smiled. All the girls thought he was so cute! 

I was cool for Sly, because he went from being the skinny kid that everyone picked on, to the cute little guy that was at all the cool parties, and hung out with the cool kids. The biggest benefit for him though was all the older girls that always went, "Aww he's so cute!" at all the parties. No one ever picked on him again. 

Sly, unlike me, was a little horn dog and used his new found fame to get it any chance he could. He started at fifteen, with a sixteen year old hottie, and never looked back. He dated a few girls his own age, but he loved the older girls.

He actually had sex before me. We talked about it all though, he always told me how much fun it was and how good it felt. He was always bragging how he lasted a good twenty minutes or more. It was a few months after his first sexual escapades that I started getting serious with Janice, and we had sex for the first time. It was awesome, just as good as he had described, but better I think. Mine and Janice's relationship was more caring then his generally were. Most of his conquests were one-nighters. 

It was my senior year, around thanksgiving. Me and Janice had been together for almost two years. Things were good between us, but we both knew that something was not quite right. We cared a lot for each other, the sex was great, and we both remained faithful to one another, but neither one of us could say the "L" word. We had talked about it several times. We knew that at some point, we would have to break it off, but for the mean time, things were great, and we had big plans for prom night. We figured that we would probably go our separate ways when we left for college. 

Sly had just turned eighteen and I had turned eighteen over the summer. He was staying at my place one weekend, as we had done for four years, whenever we didn't have dates planned. It was around midnight. We were in my room, in my king sized bed, as always. As usual, we were laying there discussing the week's events. Also as usual the talk turned to our love lives, and sex.

"Did I hear right? Did you dump Kim and go back to Amy again?"

"Yea, what can I say? Amy is an amazing fuck! But that is it, you know... the only thing Amy wants is physical, and that's cool. She could be the perfect girlfriend. I mean she has a hot body, she is smart, popular, great sense of humor, but there is no real emotional connection there. I love sex with her, but I just need more... I'll probably break up with her in a week or two again."

"How many times have we talked about this man? You need to lay off the sex a bit, and just date for a while... find the girl man!"

He was grinning at me, "Man you know me! I want something more, but Sly jr. just keeps getting in the way." We both laughed at that. After a while of just laying there, almost falling asleep, Sly started a conversation that would change me forever.

"Um... hey Josh? You ever have, strange sex dreams? Things of you doing things you wouldn't ever do?"

"Ahh... What do you mean?"

He took a big breath, "Well... I have.... Um... been dreaming of... oh just forget it!" He rolled over, away from me. I knew from the shakiness of his voice that this was something he wanted to talk about, but he seemed... afraid.

"Go on Sly, you know we can talk about anything." I wasn't as prepared for what he had to say as I thought I was.

He rolled back over, I think I saw a tear in his eye. "Josh, I've been... I've had several dreams lately... of..." he took a deep breath. "...of having sex with a guy!" He was staring at me, waiting for my response.

"Wow..." I was a bit dumbfounded. I knew a few guys that said they were gay, but I never talked to them about the homosexuality. Being the nice straight boy that I was, I had had it beaten in that being gay was a betrayal to ones self. It was abnormal! Although around other straight guys you can joke around at being gay, but you made it clear to all in the room that it was just for a joke, and that you were as straight as they come.

Being a born and raised Christian, you are told from the time you can understand, that to be gay or have gay fantasies was wrong! It was a sin against God! And my best friend in the world was just confessing to me to having Gay fantasies... My gut took over and I said the same thing that any straight boy would say if his manhood was put into question... the totally wrong thing! "Dude, that's gross... how can you stand having gay dreams?"

The wide look in his eyes, and the water that began to form told me I had said the wrong thing. I knew it was wrong as soon as it had left my lips. The look on his face told me I had just fucked up! His voice was quivering, "You think I want these dreams..."

There was something about the way he had said it. It was like he was trying to convince himself, and me, that he didn't want the dreams. "That's not the worst part." He was openly sobbing now, "The worst part is in these dreams... I'm having sex... with YOU!" his voice had raised at the end. I was shocked! He was not only having dreams about gay sex, but gay sex with me in them. None of that prepared me for what happened next.

With the tears still streaming down his face, he moved up quickly over the top of me, and placed his lips on mine. My initial straight boy gut kicked in and tried to get him off of me, but I didn't really end up trying very hard. With my eyes locked into his tear soaked green eyes, waves of pent up emotion came over me from out of nowhere.

You know how they talk about life flashing before your eyes before you die. Well I had one of those moments. The past four years flew past me in the blink of an eye, and I realized, in that moment, that what I had mistaken for brotherly feelings of friendship, where much, much more. I loved Sly! I could see it all, plan as day.

My straight indoctrinated mind had not let me see it. I realized that I had always been very attracted to Sly. He was the only guy I have ever felt... shy around. I had no problem being but naked in front of the guys at in the gym shower. I was never really that modest of a person, just around Sly. All of it just to hide my own attraction, and feelings for Sly. All of my perceptions of our relationship changed with a simple kiss.

Five minutes later and our first kiss was still going on. We were exploring each others tongues. Our hands were exploring our bodies. Mine was caressing his face, hair, and the back of his neck. His were on my chest checking out every inch of pectoral muscle. When we finally came up for air, Sly started to move off of me.

"No, just lay down here." I said taping my chest. He unstraddled my waist and lay down on top of me draped off of my right side. We lay there for a while neither of us wanting to talk about what had just happened. His head resting on my chest, and my arms around him, He felt like he belonged there. 

I broke the silence, "Ok, First..." he propped up to look at me. He had this angelic look on his face. I continued, "I'm sorry for what I said a few minutes ago. I was not being honest with my self. I... I think I'm in love with you Sly!" his face became a huge grin. As I said it, it did all click in my heart. I did love him. "I haven't had dreams about you, that I can remember, but I realize that I that I have had strong feelings for you, for a very long time."

He had those tears again, "Thank you! I have been waiting to talk to you about this for almost a year now." He moved up a bit a kissed me again. A few seconds later the feeling of a hand rubbing my cock though my shorts, made me realize that I had been hard for quite some time now. I became aware of his prick too, as it was pressed firmly against my hip. Part of me started screaming in my head that this was wrong. The other part of me however, was beating the hell out of the first part. My whole being wanted this, badly.

My right hand found its way to his ass, while my left was grinding his mouth into mine, pushing down on the back of his head. His tongue was on fire. This was so much hotter then with Janice. His hand left my cock, and made its way under my shirt and found a nipple to tweak.

I was getting so turned on by this. Sly broke our kiss, "I want to see you... all of you!" He jumped out of the bed and ran across the room to the light switch. It was about one o'clock in the morning. As my eye became used to the light, Sly began striping off his clothes as he walked back to the bed. 

His body was amazing. All the working out had really paid off. He had these six pack abs I would kill for, instead of the slight beer gut I had going. As his shorts hit the floor, I saw the one part of his body I never seen. His cock was beautiful. It was so hard that it was practically pointing at the ceiling. His trim, black pubes were a real turn-on and his nuts where large and hung low, at least a good five inches from his body. 

His cock was long, about eight inches I think, but skinny, like the rest of him. I think the only fat part of his body was the head of his prick. It was big, puffy, and a deep shade of purple. It looked a bit off since the rest of his body was a milky cream color.

I sat up and started to shuck off my shirt. He jumped on the bed and went straight for my shorts. I was proud of my six-and-a-half inch monster. What it didn't have in length it more then made up for in girth. I was about as big around as a Maglight handle.

I couldn't believe I was doing this, but at the same time I knew I wanted this more then anything in my whole life. Sly had flipped a switch in me and years of pent up emotion came crashing through both of us.

He took my rock hard monster and began one of the best blowjobs I have ever received! (That is still true to this day!) His mouth was on fire. I was so glad that my bedroom was in the attic over the garage, and that my sleeping parents' room was on the other side of the house. I'm sure they would have heard the screams and moans of pleasure coming from my lips.

I didn't last long under his assault. Within a few minutes I could feel the pressure building up.

"Sly... I'm about to cum!" That did not have the effect I thought, he started to work harder.

It was then that he did something I really didn't expect. I felt his wet finger press into my asshole. My initial reaction would have been to stop him, but it was way too late for that. His finger slipped into my ass, and slid surprisingly painlessly, until his knuckles were pressing against my cheeks. I felt his fingertip start to rub something deep inside me, and I exploded into rapture. I flooded his mouth with a weeks worth of built up cum, and screamed, "FUCK!!!"

My whole body shook from the earthquake traveling though my body. When it slowed down I was tingling from head to foot, from the best orgasm of my short life. Sly crawled up and kissed me slowly, sharing a bit of my cum with me. I had to admit, I tasted pretty good. I had never even thought of trying my own spunk before. It was actually a bit of a turn on for me.

Sly broke the kiss after a while, and looked deep into my eyes, "Josh... can I make love to you?"

I didn't know what to say at first. There was still a whisper of that hetero-voice in my head saying, "No! It will make you GAY!!" but I had already decided, I was in love with this boy, and I wanted to experience everything I could with him. I was a bit scared too, because I thought of how it would hurt, but I just smiled at him, "Yes, I would like nothing more."

I rolled over to the night stand, opened the drawer, and pulled out the petroleum jelly that used to beat off with. He smiled as he read my mind. He took the jar and scooped out a finger full as I pulled my legs back. I felt the cold jelly on my ass, and then his finger as he slowly worked it around my asshole. He slowly started to push into my ass again, working the jelly around just inside.

He kept looking at my face to see if he was hurting me, but he went slow and worked my hole open, a little at a time. It really felt good! There was no pain the whole time as he worked one, two, and finally three fingers into my ass. Every now and then he would hit that spot again as he worked his fingers in and out. My cock jumped each time. It was now very hard again.

After a few minutes of this, Sly removed his fingers and leaned forward to kiss me again. He leaned back with a hungry look in his eyes, and I felt it. His cock pressed against my ass as he slowly pushed in and out, right at the entrance. He slowly pushed further each thrust until the head broke the event horizon of my ass. There was a brief moment of pain as his head popped in, but it was replaced soon with waves of pleasure. 

He slowly worked his way in until his balls came to rest on my cheeks and I felt full, like I had to take a shit. Once he was all the way in, he leaned back down and we kissed for a good minute. When his lips left mine, they slowly made their way down my neck, and then on to my chest.

He then, started to move his hips. Wow! I couldn't believe how good it felt. It was so different from any sex I had ever had. Not just because I was on the receiving end, but the emotions, the passion, it was more... raw, more... animal. Maybe it was because I had cared for Janice, but I had always known that didn't really "love" her. This... this was pure Love!

Sly sat up and started getting a faster rhythm going. I could hear and feel his low hanging nuts, slapping my ass. I really wanted to experience this, so I whispered to him, "Harder baby! Hit it harder, I know you can!" the look on his face when I called him 'baby' was worth the price of admission, and harder he did.


Acceptance



My bed started to squeak from the pounding Sly was giving my ass. He had placed his hands on the back of my knees, pressing them into my chest, shifting my ass so his stroke hit from a slightly different angle. The change felt amazing! I could feel my nuts tightening up. 'Shit I'm about to cum again!' I thought. It would be the first time I had ever had an orgasm without being touched.

My second orgasm of the night felt even more powerful then the first. The first shot hit my nose, dribbling into my mouth. Sly grabbed my cock like it was an arcade joystick. The next few shots hit his chest, and then drooled down onto his hand. My prostate was screaming from the stimulation, I was shivering all over as my orgasm was slowing down. My ass had been squeezing his cock with every wave, but as I started to come down, he started pumping his seed deep into me.

We had both been moaning and swearing rather loudly. Sly collapsed on my chest, his head resting against my neck. We were both breathing hard and sweating all over each other. 

The next thing I remember is waking later that morning with Sly draped across me, now laying on my right side, his head on my chest now. He was quietly snoring. He was so cute!

I just laid there for about an hour, thinking over this morning's revelation. I couldn't believe I had never seen it before. I had been so blind. I even realized that there were a few other guys at school that I found personally attractive for one reason or another. My mind had been so closed. Now, it felt as though a weight had been lifted off...

I have considered myself bisexual ever since, and still a monogamous person. I did break things off with Janice the next day. She was a bit upset at first, because of the suddenness, but we talked a long time about it, and agreed that we were just fooling ourselves and that we should get out there and find that right person for each other. She was still one of my best friends for a long while, until I lost contact with her a few years later after college. 

Me and Sly were together.... and that's all I really cared about.

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End



Acceptance



I heard the door open and my wife came in. It was late but no later than her usual night of work. She walked into the bedroom and I could see in her eyes that she was frisky. I hoped I knew what would come next. She peeled her clothes off and left them in a pile beside the bed which creaked as she climbed onto it and straddled my head. Her strong thighs touched my cheeks as she steadied herself against the headboard. I could smell the sweet aroma of her arousal as she lowered her wet pussy to my waiting mouth. My hands slid up her stomach to her tits and gently squeezed them as gravity combined with her contracting cunt muscles to fill my mouth with warm thick cum. I swallowed the creamy goo and then sucked her meaty pussy lips into my mouth as she ground her hard clit against my nose.

"Suck my pussy sweetheart," she moaned softly as I licked and sucked her well fucked pussy. She had been fucked hard and her pussy was reddened and swollen.

"Did his cum taste good my love?" she teased as I continued to swallow drops of man juice that I licked from her lips.

"Mmm," I moaned into her grotto as I plunged my tongue and bottom jaw inside my wife's gapping pussy in search of more cum. She rode my face hard and it was coated with her delicious juices when my lips found her hard swollen clit. I sucked it into my mouth and flicked my tongue across it over and over until she came hard on my face.

"You're a good pussy eater," she praised as she collapsed on the bed next to me. She started to stroke my hard cock fast as I savored the flavor of her cum filled pussy on my lips.

"Make love to me" she said, guiding me by the cock.

I rose onto my knees and pointed my cock at her smooth, soaked pussy as she reached under me and forced a saliva coated finger into my ass. I groaned loudly as she expertly massaged my prostate while I furiously pumped my hard rod.

"Cum for me ," she said softly as I passed the point of no return. I moaned loudly as I unloaded an enormous load of thick cream into my wife's pussy. At that point my wife tensed and moaned with her own climax. My load was much bigger than the one I had just ingested and it start to drip down to her ass quickly.

"Good job, now clean your mess up babe," she said playfully as she grabbed my head and guided it to her cum filled pussy.

That was my thing. I loved cum.

I loved how it felt and how it tasted.

I loved a lot of things.

I love her.

I obediently licked my seed from her body and held it in my mouth moving up to share it with her in a passionate kiss. She loved cum too.

"When are you going to let me watch you take a load from the tap?" She chided. It was my wife's contention that my willingness to eat a creampie from her pussy or my own cum meant that I was bisexual. The truth was that I was not attracted to men at all and in my mind that made me completely straight.

"If I brought a friend of ours home you would to suck his cock, " my wife taunted.

"You would enjoy that wouldn't you?" I teased.

"Damn straight I would. " she continued, "You're my cum loving hubby and you're just waiting to get it right from the source, aren't you?" She was really getting tired now, so we kissed, snuggling close and fell asleep.

--

A week later I was home alone while my wife was at work . I was sitting in just a pair of boxer briefs when I heard the door open down the hall. It was only 10:00 which was much earlier than usual. I walked out of the bedroom expecting to see just my wife but she was not alone. A close and special friend was with her. He had met her at work and followed her home.

She took her shirt and bra off before pulling his tight black tee-shirt up over his head, and worked his belt open and his jeans free. He looked at me and smiled as my wife pulled her pants and panties off and sank to her knees.

She pulled his pants down to his ankles and took his flaccid cock in her hands. I watched in silence as my wife took his semi-erect dick into her mouth and sucked on it as it grew in her mouth. His dick was long and thick as my wife fit it into her mouth. 

I pulled my boxer briefs off and grabbed my cock with my right hand as I watched my wife give a blow job to another man.

I slowly stroked my cock with my eyes riveted to the show she was putting on. Then my wife said, " you boys will have to wait, I need a quick shower."

With that she rose up and went to the bathroom for what seemed a quick rinse.

Dropping her towel she climbed on the bed. She kissed me, then started sucking our friend's cock again.

"Come closer," she said as she motioned for me to sit beside them. I moved slowly, as though I was in some sort of lust induced trance. I knelt naked beside my wife and watched as her spit covered his big dick. "Want a taste?" my wife asked softly as if reading my mind. She pointed the thick bulbous head of his throbbing meat at my mouth.

"Do you?"

"Yes," I said softly.

My wife put her hand on my head and guided it to his cock. I hesitated for a moment as I pondered the ramifications and then I parted my lips and accepted his hard rod into my mouth. I could taste the briny flavor of his precum as his cock slid against my tongue.

'I am doing it' I thought, as I closed my eyes and surrendered to my lust.

My cock twitched and saliva spilled from my mouth as I slurped on his thick rod.

"I knew you wanted to suck a cock, Honey." My wife whispered in my ear.

"You want him to cum in your mouth, don't you?"

I moaned around his thick shaft. She knew me too well. I wrapped my hand around his shaft and sucked on the delicious drooling head with my eyes closed tightly. I had never experienced such an erotic feeling. I could feel the veins and ridges of his meat as they slid over my lips and across my tongue. A cool liquid ran over my exposed asshole as I sucked and stroked his cock. I wanted to look back to see what my wife was up to but couldn't see. I could feel the smooth lubricated head of a vibrator rubbing and buzzing against my asshole and I moaned softly.

"Relax Honey," my wife said as the fake cock entered my asshole. 

I groaned loudly as I continued to slurp on his delicious cock. She fucked me slowly at first with long strokes that massaged my prostate and made my cock twitch with each thrust. I sucked on his spongy cock head as I pumped my fist over his smooth hard shaft hard and fast while my wife fucked my ass. Then she managed to slide beneath me, between my legs and take my cock in her mouth.

She increased her pace to match mine and my orgasm began to build. I came hard and almost without warning. My dick spasmed and pumped a tremendous load of thick cum into her mouth as my wife eased the vibrator from my ass.

"Rest Honey, while I get fucked," she said as she scooted up the bed and our friend eased his cock into her from behind, sliding into her.

I then, taking a trick from her, eased underneath them between her legs and licked at her pussy as he stroked in and out.

"Oh fuck yes," she hissed as my tongue flicked over her engorged clit while he fucked her hard from behind. My wife came hard. Her body shook uncontrollably as she moaned and cried out loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear. He continued to pound his huge cock into my wife as I moved from licking her hypersensitive clit to his slippery shaft. His breathing became erratic and it was clear he was going to cum.

I wanted a fresh thick creampie to lick from my wife's cunt.

"I'm gonna cum Deb," he grunted as he furiously pounded his dick into my wife.

"Where do you want it?"

"Put it in his mouth," my wife said without hesitation.

"Open wide," he said coarsely as he thrust his girl juice covered cock into my mouth.

I felt his head hit the back of my throat as it began to spit. I swallowed the first two blasts and they slid down my throat like a warm salty oyster. He pulled back until just the tip was in my mouth and his cock continued to spurt. I closed my eyes as he filled my mouth with his warm tasty cum. I held it there and savored its salty essence before swallowing it all like a whore. 

My cock was stiff and my wife pushed me onto my back and sat on my hard dick as our friend recovered. They kissed and he caressed her body as she rode my cock hard. I had already cum once and despite her fervish pace my climax was not close.

Our friend recovered quickly as we fucked and in no time his rod was back at full attention begging for a suck. He knelt next to us and my wife took his cock into her mouth, and he started humping her mouth in rhythm to us.

"I want you both to cum." she panted.

A steady flow of tremors soon shook her body until she came so hard she nearly blacked out. That set me and our friend over the top and we both came, me shooting deep in her pussy and him into her mouth as she swallowed every drop.

Our friend left shortly after, leaving us satisfied and happy. We saw him off. She and I went to bed together and she kissed me deeply, both of us savoring the taste of pussy and cum on our lips. "I knew you wanted to suck a cock my love. Next week maybe Rich can deflower your ass. You will like that won't you?"

"Yes, I probably will sweetheart, at least I'll try," I replied honestly.

"You know you're bisexual, like me right?" she asked.

"Yup. Does that bother you?"

"Not at all. In fact, I think it is really hot."



Acceptance Ch. 01



They had been friends for quite a while. Having met at a party neither really planned to attend, their friends found it interesting how well the two had bonded. Their spouses, however, did not find the time the two shared to be that appealing. Given how close they became and the level of comfort each had with each other, moving from friends who told each other everything to a more intimate relationship surprised only the two of them.

Andy was the older of the two. A well respected leader and public figure in town, he was an average guy who led, for the most part, an average life. He was married, had two kids, and lived in the suburbs with the requisite dog, cat, and two car garage. Andy's bisexuality was known to his wife and a few very close friends. He did not advertise it, and he had not really acted upon it before. He knew, however, that he was attracted to other guys, especially younger guys like Al.

Al also lived a fairly average life. He had recently married and found himself between jobs when he and Andy first met. He was openly bisexual and had the boyish good looks and youthful build that Andy found himself attracted to. With the benefit of youth, Al was muscular and slender. He had a boyish face that ensured he would be carded every time he ordered alcohol, but his youthful looks masked his intellect and understanding of the intricacies of life.

At the party, Andy was at first captivated by Al's demeanor and boyish charm. The two barely spoke to each other, but both wanted to get to know each other better. They exchanged numbers and conversed for a while before becoming what everyone considered to be best friends. As the months passed, Al discovered Andy's bisexuality and his desire to explore his limits in a relationship with another man. Over time, Al decided to give Andy an opportunity to act on his desires.

The two often rode around with each other. One afternoon, Al drove to an area not far from the city and along a long winding dirt road. It was late spring. The afternoons were warm amd the evenings still got a bit chilly. As the sun began to set, Al stopped the car in the middle of the road, took the keys, and began walking down the road. 

Andy was, at first, puzzled. Then, worried something must be wrong, he got out and caught up to Al. He knew Al and Al's wife were having problems, and he expected that when he asked what was wrong, Al would talk about his marital issues, something the two of them had done countless times before. The answer he got, however, was both shocking and exhilarating at the same time.

Al put the keys to the car in his blue jeans pocket. He told Andy that he would have to accept his bisexuality before the two would return home. Confused, Andy told Al that he had acknowledged his bisexuality already. Al said "acknowledging it and acting on it are two different things, and the only way we are leaving here is for you to prove you are truly bisexual to me."

Andy knew he was attracted to Al. Al's boyish face, his contagious smile, and his toned muscles all appealed to Andy's desire to be intimate with another man. Because their friendship was so strong, however, Andy had long accepted that Al would always be the proverbial forbidden fruit. Rather than risk being a fool and freaking Al out by admitting he had a desire to be intimate with him, Andy went about each day as the ever present and ever willing friend. 

On occasions, Andy got a brief peak at Al's smooth chest or a glance at his crotch, which, by the way Al's jeans seemed to bulge, appeared to be well endowed. Al's smooth, hairless legs reminded Andy of professional swimmers, and his hairless chest appealed to Andy's hetero and bisexual desires. 

As the sun set, the lights from the car offered the only shadows on an otherwise cloudy night. Standing with his back to the car, Andy noticed the long slender shadow silhouettes cast by the two men. Andy also noted that both were wearing t-shirts and neither were prepared for a long period in the nighttime cool air.

Andy asked Al for the keys so he could drive the two of them home. Al said "if you want the keys, you will have to kiss me".

Andy replied "I don't think that is going to happen" though secretly, his cock hardened immediately at the thought of touching Al's neck or kissing his soft lips. He hoped Al had not noticed the bulge as it grew in his pants.

Al said "we are only leaving here tonight when I am satisfied that you have proven to me you are truly bisexual".

"Don't make me take the keys by force" Andy replied. Of course this was no real threat since Al could surely win any scuffle that might occur between the two. 

It grew darker outside and the sounds of the woods grew louder. Andy realized that he did not really know exactly where they were, and he doubted seriously that he could find his way back to the main road without Al's help. After some consideration, he asked "how about a kiss on the cheek?" Al responded "you know you want to kiss me. Since you are stalling, now you are also going to have to lick my cock."

This made Andy's cock grow even stiffer. He could feel the pre-cum oozing out and worried that it might leak through his jeans. Hoping to satisfy Al, Andy quickly kissed Al's cheek. As he pulled his head back, Al grabbed the back of Andy's head and forced their lips to touch. At the same time, Al rubbed Andy's crotch and squeezed his stiff cock. 

Sensing that Andy would not back away, Al released Andy's head, took his hand, and moved it to Al's crotch. Andy could feel Al's hard dick and knew instantly that it was larger than his own. Without hesitation, Andy began to run his hand up and down Al's crotch imagining how his cock and balls looked.

Al stopped kissing Andy and whispered quietly in his ear "before this night is over, you will experience all there is to learn about truly being with another man."They had been friends for quite a while. Having met at a party neither really planned to attend, their friends found it interesting how well the two had bonded. Their spouses, however, did not find the time the two shared to be that appealing. Given how close they became and the level of comfort each had with each other, moving from friends who told each other everything to a more intimate relationship surprised only the two of them.

Andy was the older of the two. A well respected leader and public figure in town, he was an average guy who led, for the most part, an average life. He was married, had two kids, and lived in the suburbs with the requisite dog, cat, and two car garage. Andy's bisexuality was known to his wife and a few very close friends. He did not advertise it, and he had not really acted upon it before. He knew, however, that he was attracted to other guys, especially younger guys like Al.

Al also lived a fairly average life. He had recently married and found himself between jobs when he and Andy first met. He was openly bisexual and had the boyish good looks and youthful build that Andy found himself attracted to. With the benefit of youth, Al was muscular and slender. He had a boyish face that ensured he would be carded every time he ordered alcohol, but his youthful looks masked his intellect and understanding of the intricacies of life.

At the party, Andy was at first captivated by Al's demeanor and boyish charm. The two barely spoke to each other, but both wanted to get to know each other better. They exchanged numbers and conversed for a while before becoming what everyone considered to be best friends. As the months passed, Al discovered Andy's bisexuality and his desire to explore his limits in a relationship with another man. Over time, Al decided to give Andy an opportunity to act on his desires.

The two often rode around with each other. One afternoon, Al drove to an area not far from the city and along a long winding dirt road. It was late spring. The afternoons were warm amd the evenings still got a bit chilly. As the sun began to set, Al stopped the car in the middle of the road, took the keys, and began walking down the road. 

Andy was, at first, puzzled. Then, worried something must be wrong, he got out and caught up to Al. He knew Al and Al's wife were having problems, and he expected that when he asked what was wrong, Al would talk about his marital issues, something the two of them had done countless times before. The answer he got, however, was both shocking and exhilarating at the same time.

Al put the keys to the car in his blue jeans pocket. He told Andy that he would have to accept his bisexuality before the two would return home. Confused, Andy told Al that he had acknowledged his bisexuality already. Al said



Acceptance Ch. 02



Standing on a dirt road in the middle of no where, Andy and Al continued to kiss and fondle one another. For Al, this was the night he had been waiting for since he first learned that Andy was bisexual. Al had thought about many different ways to encourage Andy to take the first step towards sexual freedom, and often masturbated thinking about being Andy's first real male lover. 

For Al, masturbation had, unfortunately, become routine. His wife would frequently insist that Al ensure she was sexually satisfied, and shortly after having an orgasm, fall promptly asleep. The frustration of being sexually ignored left Al to finish the job himself. While he cannot remember when he first began masturbating to the thought of being with Andy, Al certainly remembers that it is a frequent fantasy that usually ensures he ejaculates fairly quickly. Dominating Andy, forcing him to accept his sexuality, and feeling his mouth wrapped warmly around Al's cock was always a sure fire way to have an explosive orgasm. For Al, tonight would be a fantasy come true.

He scouted out many areas before deciding on this particular location. Al liked the fact that it was fairly secluded. He also liked the fact that there appeared to be fairly fresh tracks in the dirt, which indicated that someone travels the road periodically. This appealed to Al's risky side. He imagined what it would be like to see Andy naked on his knees giving Al a blow job when someone drove by. He also knew that the dark night would alert him to approaching cars, which made the public location an ideal spot to get the adrenaline rush of public sex, while affording a degree of safety.

Al planned this day for a long time. He often started heading towards the location, but butterflies in his stomach kept him from taking Andy all the way. The friendship the two shared was very intense. Al did not want to jeopardize losing Andy as a friend, and secretly hoped to make him his long term bisexual partner. 

As Andy kissed Al, he felt Al's tongue brush lightly on his lips. Instinctively, Andy parted his lips and allowed Al's tongue to explore his mouth. The thought of kissing another man is not something Andy really entertained, but feeling Al's lips press against his, and experiencing the intimacy of tongues touching was sensually erotic. This, coupled with the fondling of Al's cock and the feeling of Al's hand as it caressed his rock hard dick, made Andy at ease. Andy sensed that he was so comfortable with Al that he would do anything Al asked.

Al slowly moved one hand to Andy's head and pushed him down towards his knees. "You owe my cock a kiss" said Al. Andy pressed his face to Al's pants and lightly kissed his jeans. "Oh, a smart ass" said Al. "For that, now you are going to have to suck my cock." Andy glanced at Al with a look that conveyed insecurity. Before he protested, Al said "don't worry, with a little practice, you will become an excellent cocksucker." "Make that my personal cocksucker," Al added.

Andy reached tentatively and began to undo Al's belt. He noticed for the first time that Al had a medium sized belt buckle with a bucking bull. For a moment, Andy thought about what it would be like to be ridden by Al. This thought made his cock stiffen and his ass ache.

As he began unbuttoning Al's pants, Andy contemplated what Al's cock would look like. While he would not admit it, Andy had, on more than one occasion, thought about how nice it would be to see Al's cock. Now and then, he caught glimpses of the bulge in Al's jeans and found himself staring at the bulge and temporarily day dreaming of being Al's gay lover. Andy never imagined he might actually get to touch it, much less taste Al's cock. He was cautiously slow with the act of freeing Al's cock to the night air, hoping to memorize every moment so that he could masturbate as he replayed it in his mind later.

Andy's wife preferred a clean shaved look. So, every Sunday, he would diligently shave the hair from his pubic area. He worried that if Al decided to make him show his cock, Al would laugh because Andy did not have any hair around his pubic area or on his cock or balls. As he slowly unzipped Al's pants, Andy first saw the gorgeous head of Al's penis glistening with pre-cum. Without thinking, Andy licked the pre-cum from Al's cock head. He felt Al's cock stiffen at his tongue's touch and pulled Al's pants down to his knees and eagerly slid Al's cock into his mouth. Andy imagined that Al's cock must be at least 8 inches long, and he instinctively began to suck Al's cock, savoring every inch. 

As he sucked Al's cock into his mouth, Andy ran his tongue along the underside of his shaft. When he pulled back, he put firm pressure on the shaft with his tongue and slowly sucked, trying to milk every ounce of pre-cum out of Al's throbbing dick. Andy began to fondle Al's balls and noticed that they felt smooth. As he admired the feel of Al's balls and the taste of his cock, Andy noticed that Al was also clean shaved. By the looks, Al had recently shaved. This made Andy more comfortable with the thought that Al might want to see him naked.

Andy became more vigorous in his sucking and felt Al's cock stiffen even more. Al rested one hand on Andy's head and helped guide his cock in and out of Andy's mouth. Andy felt Al's breath grow shallower and shallower, and felt his cock grow and harden. Without warning, Al shot his cum into Andy's mouth. Instinctively, Al held Andy's head against his groin as he released wave after wave of cum into Andy's virgin mouth. Andy gazed into Al's eyes as he eagerly swallowed every drop of cum and licked Al's shaft to ensure that no sperm had been wasted. Andy ran his tongue along Al's sensitive head and milked the last drops of sperm from him.

After finishing, Andy began to stand up. Al put his hand on Andy's shoulder and told him to take all of his clothes off.



Acceptance Ch. 03



Kneeling in front of Al in the headlights along a dirt road, Andy contemplated the fact that having just completed his first blow job, he was now being told to strip naked. Nudity was not a major issue for Andy, he had after all, in younger days, been to a nudist colony on numerous occasions. The fact that his best friend, who had driven them to this location and demanded not only a kiss but a cock sucking as well, was now ordering him to strip naked made his cock harder.

The taste of Al's cum was fresh on Andy's tongue. He could smell Al's cock on his breath. The stiff cock in his pants, which by now was oozing pre-cum so much Andy could feel it Running down his leg, ensured that Andy would follow Al's instructions. This was not lost on Al, who knew by the look on Andy's face that Andy was thoroughly enjoying his first gay male experience. "I said take your clothes off" said Al. "Do it now" he commanded.

Andy thought about the days he spent at the nudist colony as he slowly began to remove his shirt. It was not lost on him that being nude at a nudist colony differs entirely than being naked in front of his best friend on a dirt road at night after having given him a blow job. Most notably, at the nudist colony, Andy did not have an erection. Now, he was conscientious about his dick, because he knew it was not as big as Al's. As he pulled his shirt off, the crisp spring time air blew gently through his chest hair and his nipples instantly became erect. 

Al admired Andy's chest. He knew from the days Andy did not wear at-shirt under his polos that Andy had a hairy chest. Al envied this since his own chest did not have a single hair on it. Al also admired Andy's nipples. They were small, and initially flat. Al assumed the cool air had made them stiffen. He enjoyed watching Andy's involuntary strip tease and the nervous excitement that Andy's face conveyed.

"Take off your shoes and socks and then stand up" Al said. 

Andy slowly removed his shoes, hoping that his erection would go away. However, as he removed his socks, he realized that being barefooted was, in his fantasies, a sign of submissiveness. This thought, coupled with the act of removing his shoes made his cock even harder. As he felt the dry dirt on the bottom of his foot, Al touched his shoulder and said "Stand up and take off your pants". Andy slowly rose. Al could see the bulge in his pants and knew he was ready to explore his limits.

"It's a little chilly out here" Andy said.

"Shut up and take your fucking pants off" Al replied.

Andy stood still, momentarily shocked by Al's tone. Al was equally shocked. Normally, Al would be less demanding in a gay relationship. For some reason, Al felt as though it was important to be forceful with Andy to help him overcome his fears of being fully engaged in homosexual acts. The fact that Andy was so responsive to Al's commands so far strengthened Al's resolve to dominate his best friend. It also ensured that Al knew he would engage in every activity he had fantasized about in the past. Al felt his cock begin to stiffen again. "I said take your fucking pants off" Al yelled.

Andy unbuttoned his pants. As he pulled down his zipper, he felt his wet boxer briefs and knew that the pre-cum would be quite noticeable. Al noticed the wet spot immediately and knew that Andy was sexually excited by Al's domination. Andy slowly pulled his pants down, revealing the silhouette of a his rock hard cock straining against the boxer briefs. Al stared intently at Andy's crotch while Andy finished removing his pants.

"Turn around and face the woods" Al commanded.

Andy turned around. "Put your hands on your head and do not move" ordered Al. Andy locked his fingers behind his head and stood motionless with his arms up. 

Al walked up behind Andy and reached around and slowly caressed his cock and balls. "I can tell by your hard cock and your wet stain that you are enjoying this" Al whispered. Slowly, Al began to kiss Andy's neck while rubbing his own erect cock on Andy's ass. "After tonight, your mouth and your ass will no longer be virgin" Al whispered. And with that, he pulled Andy's boxers off mad ordered him to turn around.



Acceptance Ch. 04



Andy wondered how he had gotten to this point. One minute, he and his best friend were just heading out to dinner, the next, he found himself standing naked on a dirt road in the dark with headlights from the car casting a long shadow of his silhouetted body across the road. And what was it Al just said? "After tonight, your mouth and your ass will no longer be virgin?"

Having just finished giving his friend a blow job and, much to Andy's surprise, swallowing his entire load, Andy had somehow allowed Al to dominate him into stripping completely naked. Al, though a number of years younger, was being quite adamant about his commands. Andy found this to be very erotic, though he had always imagined that he would be the dominant one in a gay relationship.

As the thoughts about tonight's events ran through his head, Andy did not notice that Al was intently studying his nude body. Wanting to remember every inch of Andy's body, Al purposely refrained from immediately glancing at Andy's cock, though he definitely wanted to see, touch, and taste it. Beginning with Andy's head, Al took inventory of his every detail.

Al had always loved Andy's hazel eyes. He noticed that if Andy wore blue toned shirts, his eyes were blue and whenever he wore green tones, his eyes would be green. Al found the blue eyes comforting since they matched his own, but he found the green eyes erotic and inviting. He was happy that Andy had worn a dark green shirt today.  As he admired Andy's eyes, he thought to himself that Andy must be in deep thought since he did not seem to notice Al staring at his naked body.

Andy's facial features only faintly revealed his older age. Al thought that his lips, which had a slight downward turn on each end told a story of a man who had experienced many things and who seemed to be sad more than happy. He resisted the urge to touch Andy's lips with his finger and scanned his neck and chest as he savored the sight of his naked friend standing in front of him.

The hairy chest and erect nipples made Al's cock stiffen more and begin to generate pre-cum. Al imagined what it would be like to suck and bite Andy's nipples, and made a mental note to be sure to do that as the night progressed. As Al's gaze moved further down, he noticed that Andy's body hair ended just below his belly which, while not remotely fat, hid the six pack Al sported. Thinking about this a moment, Al recalled Andy touching his six pack abs once and remarking that he should "enjoy those abs now since they will slowly fade away."

The lack of hair in Andy's pubic area excited Al. He thought he was in the minority when it came to keeping his cock and balls shaved. It was evident that Andy was meticulous in his personal grooming and Al imagined that Andy's pubic area must be quite smooth. As his eyes moved towards Andy's cock, Al spotted a small mole about a quarter of an inch away from his cock shaft on the right side.

The first impression Al had of Andy's cock was how stiff and straight it was. Al saw pre-cum dripping in a long line from Andy's cock to the ground. He knew from the amount of pre-cum Andy was oozing that Andy was ready to engage in far more intimate sexual activities. Al estimated that Andy's cock was about five and a half inches long and that its girth was probably comparable. Andy's cock head looked like a perfect helmet fitted tightly on his shaft. Approximately a quarter of the way from the top, Andy had a perfectly dark round line going all the way around his shaft as a result of his circumcision. Al reached forward without thinking and, with one finger, rubbed the pre-cum off of Andy's cock. He slowly inserted his moistened finger into his mouth and tasted for the first time Andy's salty pre-cum.

When Al touched Andy's cock, Andy immediately snapped out of his distant thoughts and back into reality. "Did Al just lick my pre-cum off of his finger?" Andy wondered. The thought, coupled with the realization that Al had just touched his cock almost made Andy orgasm. Suddenly he realized that he was standing totally naked in front of his best friend on a public dirt road in the middle of no where. Suddenly, he recalled that Al had just said "After tonight, your mouth and your ass will no longer be virgin". Andy's cock began to drip even more pre-cum.

Before moving forward, Al continued to mentally inventory Andy's naked body. He noticed his thighs and lower legs were very muscular. Al figured this was related to the fact that Andy jogged and rode a bike on a fairly routine basis. Andy's feet looked vulnerable to Al, especially in the dirt. Al noticed that Andy had a birthmark on the inside of his right ankle that look like a dog's paw. Al found this to be fitting given the fact that Andy was so good with dogs and thought it might explain why Al's own dog had taken such a liking to Andy. 

Satisfied that his mental inventory was solid, Al took a few more up and down glances of Andy's nude body and said "stand right here and do not move." "Do you understand?" 

Andy nodded yes. Al said "if I ask you something, say yes sir, don't nod your damn head." 

Andy promptly answered "yes sir."

Al gathered all of Andy's clothes and took them to the car where he locked them in the trunk. When he returned, he looked at Andy and said "Kneel down." 

When Andy was on his knees, Al pulled his cock out of his pants and instructed Andy to lick the pre-cum off of it. After he finished, Al said "Are you ready to become my gay lover?"

Andy nodded yes. Al stuck his cock into Andy's mouth and said "didn't I tell you not to nod your damn head?" With Al's cock in his mouth, Andy mumbled "yes sir."

Al instructed Andy to stand up and to walk to the front of the car. As Andy approached the car, Al said "I am going to make your ass mine." 



Acceptance Ch. 05



Al watched as Andy walked naked to the front of Al's car. Al admired his best friend's ass and thought about how nice it would feel to slide his cock in and out of Andy's virgin asshole. When Andy reached the front of the car, Al said "Put your hands on the hood of the car and spread your legs." He put his cock back in his pants and approached his friend, happy that he had packed some lubricant in the glove compartment.

"Yes sir" Andy replied. Andy did as Al instructed. Andy noticed how cool the hood of the car felt and wondered how long the two of them had been parked along this dirt road. His cock was still hard and Andy could feel pre-cum drip onto his foot from time to time. His mind raced. Before this night, he had not actually touched, much less sucked another man's cock. And except for periodic trips to the nudist colony, he had not been naked in front of someone in public this long, and he certainly had never sported a hard-on dripping pre-cum everywhere in front of anyone.

As Al pressed his body against Andy's bare back, he reached both hands around and gently rubbed Andy's nipples. Al felt Andy's breathing escalate and began to pinch both of Andy's nipples. In addition to breathing harder, Andy let out a low, almost inaudible moan. It was obvious that Andy's nipples were highly erogenous. Al made a mental note to pay more attention to Andy's nipples as the night progressed.

Moving his hands down slowly, Al wrapped his left hand around Andy's cock and gave a firm squeeze. He caressed Andy's balls with his right hand, gently rolling them in his hands and lightly squeezing them and tugging on them as he began to stroke Andy's cock. After a few minutes, Al moved his right hand to Andy's ass and began rubbing his ass cheeks, making his way ever closer to touching Andy's asshole.

This was all apparently very erotic to Andy. He rocked slowly in motion with the stroking of his cock, and he instinctively spread his legs further apart as Al's hand neared his asshole. For a moment, he forgot where he was. Al's hand inched ever closer to Andy's asshole. As he found the sensitive area surrounding Andy's ass, Al slowly massaged the area with one finger, making circular motions that got closer and closer to Andy's sphincter opening. Al knew Andy enjoyed this since he noticed that Andy's breathing became shallower and his butt muscles loosened, making access to his asshole easier.

Al gently pushed in on Andy's asshole. Andy's lack of objection to the invasion of his ass served as an opening for Al. Al pushed his finger slowly into Andy's asshole and began gently massaging and relaxing the sphincter muscle. As he managed to get his entire finger into Andy's ass, Al saw headlights in the distance. He leaned closer to Andy and whispered into his ear "I should make you stand here while this car passes, but I want to fuck your ass, so go hide in the woods."

Al removed his finger from Andy's asshole and walked slowly to the driver's door. Andy rushed quickly into the woods and hid behind a large oak. He was certain that whoever was in the approaching car would be able to see him. His cock quickly became limp, and he crouched naked behind the tree. Andy suddenly realized that it was much chillier outside than he realized and began to shiver.

Al sat in the driver's seat and cranked the car. The approaching vehicle pulled up along side of him and the driver rolled down the passenger's window and asked Al if everything was OK. Al told him everything was alright. After briefly discussing the weather, the friendly driver continued on. To Andy's surprise, Al drove off behind the other car.

It became very dark. The terror of being left alone in the woods completely naked gripped Andy. "Surely Al is coming back" he thought. As he watched both cars' taillights disappear into the distance, Andy began to wonder if Al had, in fact, left him. 

Replaying the last thirty minutes or so in his mind, he was confident that Al would be back. After tall, Al seemed adamant about fucking Andy's ass. As much as he was certain he would not let Al touch him again if he did not return, Andy also knew that he wanted more than anything to feel Al's touch, suck his cock, and feel him penetrating Andy's ass. 

Pissed or not, Andy had, in fact, become Al's gay lover and was ready to submit to his every wish and his every desire. 



Acceptance Ch. 06



Andy estimated that approximately 10 minutes had passed since Al drove off. "Where the fuck did he go?" Andy said out loud to no one in particular. He wondered if he should begin making his way in the direction Al drove. It was one thing for Al to drive away. It was a completely different thing to have left Andy naked when doing so.

Watching the horizon intently, he finally saw headlights approaching. Andy was certain it was Al's car, which had a brighter driver's side headlight as a result of work the two had performed on it about a month ago.

The car slowly passed Andy. After about a hundred yards, Andy saw the car turn around and return to his location. Al got out and called for Andy. Andy approached the car. "Get in" Al said.

"Where are my clothes?" Andy asked.

Al stared at him a moment and said "Haven't you learned anything yet? If I tell you to do something, what the fuck are you supposed to say?"

"Yes sir" Andy replied.

"Good" said Al. "Now get the fuck in the car."

Andy sat in the passenger's seat. It was not lost on him that he was completely naked. Nor was it lost on him that after a moment, the warm car, coupled with the thoughts of all that had happened so far, made Andy's cock stiffen. As Al got in, he looked at Andy's cock and said "So, you missed me, huh?"

Andy replied "Yes sir."

The response told Al that Andy had finally accepted Al's dominance over him and made Al's own cock stiffen. "I found something you are going to like" said Al. The two drove about a mile or so down the dirt road and Al turned into a small clearing and turned off the lights to the car. Al continued to drive down what appeared to be an old driveway. About 200 yards or so later, Andy noticed a dilapidated old barn. Al pulled the car to the rear of the barn and shut off the engine.

It was very quiet. The sounds of the woods slowly grew louder. Al turned to Andy, leaned in slowly, and kissed him. As Al's hand rubbed against Andy's cock and balls, Andy's lips parted and allowed Al's tongue to slip once again inside. The kiss and the fondling went on for several minutes. Once pre-cum began oozing out of Andy's cock, Al pulled away and said "Go inside and wait for me."

"Yes sir." Andy replied. 

As he walked into the barn, Andy thought about how submissive he was being to Al. Andy had always imagined that he would be the dominant one in a male relationship. As far as he could remember, he also recalled that Al had always talked about being the bottom in previous gay relationships. 

The two men had developed a strong bond and a very close friendship. There was literally nothing the two could not talk about with each other. Both knew of their current relationships and their past lovers, and both knew about each other's bisexuality.

On many occasions, they had discussed their various sexual escapades and Al knew that Andy was exceptionally submissive in his marital relationship. Al also knew that Andy would likely be the dominant one if their own relationship developed further, but he surmised that Andy would need to be dominated first into having an intimate relationship with Al. It was Al's hope that after this domination and introduction to the gay lifestyle, Andy would take charge and become not just his male lover, but his dominator as well.

While Al was not completely aware of the Dominant/submissive lifestyle, he had learned over the past few months about it from Andy. Al always listened intently, though he appeared outwardly to be rather indifferent to what Andy was saying, whenever Andy discussed being a dominant or submissive in a D/s lifestyle. It was from these discussions that Al learned that nudity, forced submission, and sex in a public place were turn-ons for Andy. Al also figured that based on their conversations, Andy was more than open to having an intimate relationship with Al but that he would not act upon his desires unless Al took the first steps. 

When Andy gave Al the blow job, Al knew that Andy was truly committed to his bisexuality. The forced nudity and submission to Al's commands gave Al the sense that his gamble on taking the initiative would pay off. 

As Andy walked into the barn, Al reached over and removed the lubricant he had stashed in the glove compartment. Before going inside, he also got a duffel bag from the trunk, which he had packed with a variety of sex toys.

As Al began to walk towards the barn, his cock got harder at the thought of what would transpire during the course of the evening.



Acceptance Ch. 07



As he entered the barn, Andy noticed that looked like it was in good shape. He could tell from the aged look of the wood and the gaps in between the slats that it was a very old barn. The main area was open and there was a ladder to the right of the door entrance that wend up to what Andy figured was a loft. It was dark in the barn, and Andy hoped that Al had thought to bring something for light since he had an expectation of seeing Al's naked body for the first time.

Al left the car and headed into the barn with the lubricant and the sex toy duffel bag. Thinking that it looked fairly dark, Al returned to the car and got a battery powered lantern from the trunk. As he pulled the lantern from the trunk, he thought about how Andy was always chastising him because of the amount of junk he kept there. Al laughed to himself thinking that for one time, Andy would be happy that there was a plethora of items in the trunk.

As the door to the barn opened, Andy could barely make out Al's silhouette. He could tell Al was carrying several items. Al put everything down and turned on the lantern. The soft glow of the light dimly lit the barn. Al breathed in deep as he saw his best friend's nude and stiff cock. "Sit on your knees" Al told Andy.

Andy knelt down. He hoped that Al would undress in front of him. Andy had frequently wondered what Al's naked body looked like. The thought of finally seeing it and being able to touch it made more pre-cum ooze out. 

Being in no particular hurry, and feeling fairly secure in the barn, Al slowly walked over to Andy. He stopped directly in front of him and put two fingers under Andy's chin and pulled his head up. "I need to ask you something, and I want you to think about your answer before giving it. Do you understand?" asked Al.

"Yes sir." Andy replied, his heart beating quickly wondering what Al might ask him. Because Al had adopted a routine of telling Andy he had a question before asking it, Andy was not necessarily shocked by Al's statement. Kneeling in front of Al naked with his cum still fresh on his breath made this time, however, different. Whatever Al asked, Andy knew he was willing to entertain Al's request. Quite frankly, Andy thought to himself, anything Al ever wanted, Andy would give or do for him if it was within his power.

Al took a deep breath.  His eyes conveyed that he was pondering just exactly what he wanted to say. As he glanced at Andy's naked body and into Andy's eyes, Al's eyes darted around, signaling his desire to ask something, and his fear of what the answer might be.

"Just ask. The worst I say is I cannot." Andy said. The reply was so well established that it gave Al peace in articulating his question.

"You and I are both married and we are both bisexual." said Al. He continued "I know that you want to explore your bisexuality. Having been with other men, I will understand if you cannot give me what I want." Al paused and stared for a moment at the floor.

"Ask." Andy said.

"I am glad that I am your first bisexual partner" Al said. "The more I have gotten to know you, and the more we have experienced together, the more I wanted this night to happen" he added. "What I want to know, is whether you think that you and I might become lovers, not just periodic fuck buddies?" Al asked.

The question itself momentarily stunned Andy. The day he first met Al, he knew he had a strong desire to be with him. Al had a quiet demeanor that conveyed both dominance and vulnerability. As the two became friends, Andy found the time the two shared as peaceful and relaxing, even if the two did nothing more than change a flat tire. Al's vulnerability appealed to Andy's inner desire to help others, though he had never quite experienced with others the satisfaction that helping Al gave him. Al's boyish good looks and, what Andy referred to as his "contagious smile" attracted Andy to Al in a way that went above simple friendship. Hearing Al express a desire to be more than just friends, or just friends with benefits, made Andy, for a brief moment, speechless.

Andy looked into Al's eyes and replied "Since you came into my life, I have felt younger, happier, and more alive. Whether hearing from you in person, by phone or by text, I immediately feel better about my day. When I see you, my heart flutters and memorizes your every detail. When we are apart, I wonder how you are. I am able to share everything with you without fear of judgment, and I tell you things no other person has ever heard. I never expected that I could love another man and often only thought that my bisexual desires were more fantasy than real. In the last hour, I have learned more about myself than I ever knew, and I have no doubt that you are the only man I want to help me explore my fantasies."

The answer made Al's heart flutter. He placed his hand on Andy's shoulder, looked him in the eye, and said "If you mean that and want to be my gay lover, bend over and we will seal this deal with an ass fucking you will never forget."



Acceptance Ch. 08



Andy got on all fours and awaited further instruction from Al. Al walked to the door of the old barn and picked up the duffel bag.  He brought the bag to Andy's feet and laid it on the floor. Al unzipped the bag. Andy looked back to see what Al was doing.

"Did I tell you to move your head?" Al asked.

"No sir." Andy replied. By now, Andy had become adept at using the proper responses whenever Al asked him something.

Andy looked ahead and tried to guess based on the sounds what Al was doing and what he concealed in the duffel bag. Fear of the unknown rushed over Andy, followed immediately by an unexplainable excitement about what might happen next. As the thoughts associated with each took their turns manipulating Andy's mind, his cock became flaccid. Al noticed out of the corner of his eye that Andy was beginning to soften, and took a moment to watch as Andy's cock began its descent. Al noticed that pre-cum continues to leak from the head of Andy's cock even though he was now completely flaccid.

Al removed several anal toys from his duffel bag and lined them up in the order he intended to use them. He took out some lubrication and methodically applied it to each of the toys. Al anticipated that he would have to start out fairly easy since Andy had not ever been fucked in the ass. He remembered, however, that Andy was highly turned on by the fingering he had received earlier while leaned across the hood of the car. 

Determined the toys were sufficiently prepared, Al applied some lubricant to his fingers. He walked up to Andy's head, bent down, and said "OK. If you are going to be my gay lover, I will own your ass which means that you will accept anything I wish to do without objection. Is that what you want?"

Andy nodded yes. The finger fucking Al gave him earlier took hold of the other thoughts running through his head. And though he knew he wanted to explore his bisexuality, he also knew that he would be completely happy exploring it with no other man that Al.

"I asked you a damn question." Al said.

Andy's eyes got wide. He looked up and said "Yes sir, my ass if yours."

Al took two steps and knelt near Andy's ass. He noticed that Andy's cock was leaking pre-cum even faster. He also noticed that Andy's cock was beginning to get stiff again. Al placed a hand on Andy's ass and worked his fingers towards Andy's asshole. As he did this, Al watched Andy's cock get stiffer and stiffer. Al was concerned at one point that Andy's cock looked like it might rupture.

As Al circled Andy's asshole with his finger, he noticed that Andy's breathing once again became calm. He also noticed that Andy's ass seemed to raise slightly. Al could tell that Andy very much wanted to experience the pleasure of another man's cock in his ass. This made Al's cock stiffen in his pants to the point that Al had to adjust himself to make himself more comfortable.

Al inserted one finger into Andy's asshole and began to gently fuck Andy. It was quite evident that Andy enjoyed this. Al began massaging the rim of Andy's ass hole with a second finger. Slowly, he inserted the second finger into Andy. Andy gave some resistance as the second finger worked its way inside. Al used both fingers to continue to prepare Andy's ass for Al's cock.

After a few minutes, Al began rubbing Andy's rim with a third finger. When he started to insert his third finger into Andy's ass, Andy moved forward and clinched his ass cheeks. Al slapped Andy's ass hard and said "This is my ass now, stop fighting me or you are gonna have trouble."

Andy could not stop trying to prevent Al from inserting his third finger. He reached back with one hand and tried to get Al to stop. Al grabbed Andy's arm and pinned it behind Andy's back. Al leaned up to Andy's ear and said firmly "Your ass belongs to me now. If I have to use force to do what I want with it, I will." 

The threat of force nearly made Andy orgasm. "It is a little much, can you go a little slower?" Andy asked.

"Slower?" Al responded. He added "I promise you that when you decide you want to fuck my ass, you will be desperate to shove your cock right in and start going at it. I am trying to teach you right now how to properly appreciate an ass."

"I'm just not sure how much I can take right now." Andy said.

"Oh. You are gonna take all I want to give you right now." Al replied. "After all, you gave your ass to me. I will do as I please. If you try to stop me again, I will be much more vigilant in taking and taming your ass." he continued.

With that, Al forced his third finger into Andy's asshole and began roughly fucking Andy while using his grip on Andy's arm to steady and control Andy. Every time Andy tried to shy away from the finger fucking, Al put more pressure on Andy's arm. The pain associated with the awkward pinning of his arm made Andy forget about the finger fucking he was receiving. 

After a few minutes, Al shoved his hand towards Andy's head and, with all three fingers firmly in Andy's ass, leaned forward and said "I am going to let your arm go. You will put your hand on the floor. You will then be still while I finish preparing your ass. Do you understand?"

Andy said "yes sir."

Al let go and Andy complied. Al finger fucked Andy's ass for several more minutes until he was satisfied that Andy would be more compliant. Al removed his fingers and gently inserted a small anal plug into Andy's ass. The plug slipped right in and Andy did not resist.

When he finished finger fucking Andy, Al walked around to the front and told Andy to kneel. "Take my clothes completely off." Andy complied. While undressing Al, Andy took a moment to memorize every inch of Al's gorgeous body. The lack of chest hair turned Andy on. Al's firm ass and muscular arms and legs conveyed his commitment to working out at the gym regularly. The six pack abs beckoned Andy's attention as he admired their Adonis like resemblance. 

Pre-cum on Al's cock head once again made Andy instinctively lick Al's cock. Andy ached to give Al another blow job and to experience his warm salty cum on his tongue again. 

"Get back on all fours." Al commanded.

Andy complied quickly. Al walked behind Andy and knelt with his legs between Andy's legs. Al removed the anal plug and picked up a slightly larger dildo. Without warning, Al inserted the dildo into Andy's ass and began fucking him with it. Andy once again began protesting.

Al quickly spread Andy's legs wide with his own and leaned over Andy's back. Al jammed his thighs behind Andy's, grabbed Andy's hair and pulled his head back, and fucked him vigorously with the dildo. After a few minutes, Al removed the dildo and placed an even larger one at the opening of Andy's asshole.

"You will thank me for this one day." Al said.



Acceptance Ch. 09



Just hours ago, Al and Andy were best friends out riding around. While each knew everything there was to know about the other, Andy did not realize that tonight, he would become closer to Al than he ever imagined. Al, on the other hand, had planned this evening for a long time. His ultimate hope was to seal not just his desire to be intimate with Andy, but his desire to become Andy's boi toy.

What began as Al's demand for a kiss on a desolate dirt road, turned into the opportunity Al had hoped for but had not truly expected. One kiss led to a sensual blow job, which led to the stripping of his best friend and Al's eventual need to leave his friend naked and alone in the woods for a short time. Had the unexpected car not arrived when it did, Al is sure this night would have turned out different.

Finding this old barn after leaving Andy in the woods was a stroke of luck. It offered a certain privacy that made Al feel comfortable, and it offered the enclosure and seclusion Al believed was necessary for Andy to be "at home" with his bisexuality.

Al pushed the larger dildo into Andy's ass. Andy let out a moan and instinctively reached back to remove the foreign object. This angered Al. Al quickly forced Andy's body to the ground. Al moved around quickly and sat on Andy's back facing Andy's ass.

Andy could feel Al's balls and Al's stiff cock on his back. He was certain that he also felt the slippery pre-cum oozing from Al's cock onto his lower back. Andy could see Al's feet straddle his head and felt the weight of Al's body pin his torso to the ground.

Al began fucking Andy's ass with the larger dildo. He held Andy's body down with his own weight, and he used his free arm and hand to keep Andy's legs from interfering with the fucking of his ass. Al vigorously fucked Andy in this manner for about seven or eight minutes. He could feel the sweat begin to form on Andy's back, and he could see Andy's ass cheeks slowly cease to tense up every time the dildo penetrated his ass. He could also tell by Andy's breathing that Andy was beginning to enjoy the fucking rather than fight it.

Pulling the dildo from Andy's ass, Al gently breathed warm air onto each of Andy's ass cheeks. He savored the sight of his friend's ass, and gently kissed each cheek to reassure Andy that this was about becoming closer, not about being tortured.

The removal of the dildo from his ass was both welcoming and unsettling for Andy. He was certain that the next toy would be even bigger. He was secretly thankful that Al had broken his ass in, and he found the entire domination and ass fucking to be quite sensual and erotic. While Andy had been happily married for more than 10 years and not involved with anyone else during that time, he found the encounter with Al peaceful and hoped that this was not a one time event.

"Do not move your ass" Al said as he stood up. Andy complied and laid motionless when Al's weight was lifted off of his body. 

Taking a moment to stare at his friend's naked body lying face down on the old barn floor, Al longed to caress Andy and to kiss him gently. At the same time, the use of force needed to subdue Andy into the submissive state he currently exuded made Al tingle with erotic feelings in a way he, as the perpetrator, had not experienced before. 

Al thought briefly of the time he was first kissed by another man. It should not have been a surprise since it happened a gay bar. However, the intensity of the force used by the other man took Al by surprise and, inexplicably, made his cock harder than he had ever recalled it being. After a few drinks, Al made small talk with one of the other men in the bar. They ended up standing next to each other in the dark hallway leading to the restroom. When the man moved in to kiss Al, Al instinctively moved back. The man grabbed both of Al's arms and pinned him against the wall. He shoved his knee into Al's crotch and kissed him. When Al refused to allow the man's tongue into his mouth, the man kneed Al's balls, making him gasp. With one motion, the man's tongue was quickly inside. After the kiss, the man released Al. Al quickly left the bar, torn by the eroticism and fear it struck. And while the ordeal was unexpected, it was one Al never forgot and cherished from time to time as he masturbated.

As the memory of the event faded and gave way to the sight of Andy's naked body lying on the floor, Al knelt beside Andy and began to sensually rub his back and his ass. "I want you and I to experience things neither of us has ever experienced" Al said quietly. "I want something from you I have never wanted from anyone else" he added.

Andy rolled onto his side and faced Al. He looked deeply into Al's eyes with a gaze that conveyed to Al that Andy was ready to hear any confession. Al had appreciated from the beginning of their friendship that Andy had never judged him or put him down. Al knew from past actions that Andy would literally give Al the shirt off his back, and seeing Andy lie naked in front of him made him flash for the briefest moment the contagious smile Andy seemed to seek from Al whenever they were together. 

"I love my wife" Al said, "with all my heart. And while she fulfills a part of my life, I know that I want and need a bisexual relationship to feel whole." Al continued, "in the past, I was content to seek that relationship randomly when the urge would strike me. Now, I only want to be with you."

Andy's gaze sharpened. Lying on his side, naked, with a cock harder than a steel rod and moistened with pre-cum, Andy thought about the appropriate thing to say. He reached slowly over and touched Al's semi-hard cock. As Al's cock slowly stiffened in his hand, Andy said "Al, if it is within my ability to give to you, I will give you whatever you want. You have always known that and have never taken advantage of it." 

Without removing his hand from Al's hard cock, Andy continued "you and I share something with each other much deeper than friendship and much more passionate than we have with our own wives. So if you want me to be your only bisexual lover, I will accept."

Al looked at Andy for a moment and said "then let's seal this once and for all."



Acceptance Ch. 10



The force that Al used in preparing Andy's ass for Al's cock was exhilarating to Al. At the same time, Andy thought he should have felt violated by the act, but was oddly intrigued by the fact that he found himself to be so submissive to Al's commands and Al's strength. Andy wondered if the relationship between Al and himself would always be one where Al would be the dominant partner, but decided that he was certain that Al would willingly give himself to Andy if Andy found the confidence to become more dominant in their relationship.

The submissive feelings Andy was experiencing made him pull Al on top of him. With their faces only inches apart, and their cock and balls resting on one another, Andy put one hand around the back of Al's head and said "fuck me and I will be yours."

Al lifted his weight off of Andy and rolled him over. He quickly put lubricant on his cock and slipped it between Andy's ass cheeks. Andy instinctively raised his ass up in the air to give Al easy access. Al quickly rammed his cock into Andy's asshole. The force made Andy flinch forward. Al instinctively grabbed Andy's shoulder with one hand and his hair with the other and pulled him towards Al's cock.

Al began fucking Andy harder and harder. His cock slid in and out of Andy's ass rhythmically. After a few minutes, Al began to slowly fuck Andy's ass. He was confident that by now Andy was sufficiently subdued into the moment, and he let Andy's hair go. Andy rocked back and forth onto Al's cock. Al reached under Andy's chest and began pinching his nipple. Al could tell that this made Andy even hornier. Al began fucking his friend's ass harder and faster. 

Andy could hear Al's breath getting deeper and shallower. He could feel the intensity of Al's cock sliding in and out of his ass and felt confident that Al was getting near the point of no return. With one hand, Andy reached back and grabbed Al's ass and pulled it towards his own. The feeling of Andy's hand on his ass shocked Al and sent him into what he was certain the hardest, longest, and most sensual orgasm he had ever had. 

Andy felt Al's cock swell inside of him. Al shoved his cock deep into Andy's ass. Andy could tell by the throbbing of Al's cock and the repeated forceful clenching of Al's ass cheeks that Al was spewing his cum into Andy's ass. Andy felt Al's body shiver slower and slower with each remaining thrust. With his cock still in Andy's ass, Al fell over onto Andy's back. The sweat from his chest mixed with Andy's sweat. His breath became rapid. He rested his head between Andy's shoulder blades and let out a long sigh.

Sounding like he had just crossed the finish line after an arduous marathon, Al said lowly "you are mine now."

Andy replied "now, we need to seal this deal to make you mine."

With his cock still in Andy's ass and his head laying between Andy's shoulder blades, Al opened both eyes widely. He had been so focused on his own desires that he had forgotten that Andy had yet to cum at all. Al slowly moved one hand down Andy's torso and felt his unmistakably hard cock. This, Al thought to himself, was going to pose a problem.

Al had always been the last to cum whenever he was with others. He knew that his own libido quickly left after he had an orgasm. As the last of his semen was forced out of his cock into his friend's asshole, he pulled his quickly softening cock out of Andy's ass. Al sat back and admired Andy's ass as it rested in front of him.

Andy slowly turned around and faced Al. "So, you want it in the ass or in the mouth?" Andy asked.

Al was not particularly in the mood at this point to orally or anally please Andy. His sexual desires had plummeted as he had emptied his load into Andy's ass. He knew, however, that it was important to give Andy release if Andy was going to be willing to undertake a long-term relationship with him.

"You choose." Al said.

"Both then." Andy replied.

"Get on all fours." Andy said. Al turned around and knelt with his hands and knees on the floor.

Andy grabbed one of the lubricated dildos and quickly forced it into Al's ass. As Al flinched, Andy straddled him, his cock and balls dragging on Al's back. Andy grabbed Al's hair and pulled his head back hard and looked into Al's eyes. "I will be your sole bisexual lover, if you are willing to be my boi." Andy said.

Al looked approvingly at Andy. 

"So" Andy said "does my boi want to suck cock now?"

Al said "Yes sir."

Andy stood up and walked in front of Al. He guided his cock to Al's mouth and rubbed it gently on Al's lips. Al could taste the salty pre-cum and began licking the head of Andy's cock. Slowly, Al began sucking Andy's cock into his mouth. He instinctively reached up and began to fondle Andy's balls. 

Andy bent over slightly and began to fuck Al's ass with the dildo. He could tell by Al's body language and his cock sucking technique that Al was highly turned on by both the anal and oral aspects of his bisexuality.

Al was very good at sucking cock. He had a slow rhythmic form and applied good pressure and grip. He teased Andy's cock with his tongue, and fondled his balls sensually. After a few minutes, Andy's cock began to swell as the feeling of Al's mouth on his cock and the thoughts of tonight's events played in his mind.

Andy realized that he and Al had talked about many things, but that he had not ever discussed whether or not Al liked to swallow cum. Wanting to be sure that their new found relationship was not over as fast as it began, Andy began to pull his cock out of Al's mouth just as he felt the he was about to orgasm. In one quick motion, Al grabbed Andy's ass and pulled it towards his head and shoved one finger deep into Andy's ass. This caused Andy to have an explosive orgasm in Al's mouth. Al kept his grip on Andy's ass and slowly cleaned Andy's cock with his mouth and tongue. Al made a note that Andy's cock head was very sensitive after he came, and took pleasure in making Andy shutter by licking and kissing his cock head. 

After a moment, Andy removed the dildo from Al's ass and pulled him up. The two men stood face to face, cock to cock. Andy looked at Al and said "So, I guess we have a deal now, boi."

Al leaned in, put one hand on the back of Andy's head, and gave Andy a long kiss. Andy could taste his own cum on Al's lips.

The two men quietly dressed, packed up the duffel bag, and walked to the barn door. It was approaching midnight. As Andy reached to open the door, Al put his hand on Andy's shoulder, leaned in, and said "Acceptance as each other's bisexual lovers is only the beginning." 



Acceptance of a Contract



Prelude

My name is Marcus. I am a mercenary commander, a leader of a band of misfits, outsiders, and those who do not belong to what the majority say a normal world. From a rugged untried professionals, my regiment became the most feared, and effective mercenary units in the world. It is not the size of the organization that matters. It was the equipment, quality of men, training, experience, discipline, and sheer will power that have allowed my mercenary regiment to rise up in its current status. The Rim-Cats are not cheap to hire but once it is deployed, the client nation can rest assured that they have a mobile armored regiment guarding the safety of their country from internal and external threats. 

The Fertile Valley of the Two Rivers, Ankarian Desert, the Middle East

Defense Minister Ahmed Al Shabah waited patiently in his office, sitting on a comfortable leather chair. He reviewed the proposal submitted by a mercenary company and middle aged Middle Eastern man pondered the thought of hiring an elite mobile armored regiment to help his country quell the insurgency that plagues the country of Ar'Raq. It has been over six years since the western coalition have invaded and deposed their country's ruthless tyrant. But in doing so, the coalition of western nations have unleashed Pandora's Box. Half a dozen factions started to fight among themselves for the control of the country, but the ruling elite of Ar'Raq have been voted by the majority faction of the country and yet cannot help to stem the tide of anarchy that occurred. The Defense Minister is under pressure from the Prime Minister in finding a solution to this problem, though the coalition of western powers have done their share of the fighting, it was not enough for the insurgency to be finally and totally defeated.  

"Allah oh merciful GOD, help me in this time of need, I do not know what I should do to finally give peace to my country and I hope that this will finally be the solution all of us are looking for," he have prayed glancing on the proposal. 

His dilemma does not stop there, on Ar'Raq's eastern border lies Phartia. The country of Phartia is ruled by a religious zealot Shiite president, while the ruling Sunni of Ar'Raq have became weak to mount a proper defense if they are invaded. The ruling elite of Phartia supported the Shiite insurgents in destabilizing the government of Ar'Raq, among those insurgents are the foreign Mujahadeen warriors who came into the country to evict the armies of the foreign devil of the western coalition, the Mahdi holds a third faction, which fights for the control of the country themselves under the banner of the religious leader, the Islamic terrorist also infiltrated the country and fights to bring shame upon the western coalition, and finally the local warlords who enacts barbaric raids taking what they want, pillaging, raping, looting, and murdering innocent civilians, government troops, fighters of other factions, and the western coalitions soldiers as well. Ar'Raq is a mess beyond comprehension and yet Defense Minister Ahmed Al Shabah and his government have decided to hire a foreign mercenary regiment. They have signed the agreement two weeks ago and hoped that it will bring them the security that they need for the sake of their people. 

"Very interesting," he commented at the capabilities and prior experience of the personnel of this elite mobile armored regiment as he reviewed them again, "they are what my country need."

The buzzer of his intercom emits a loud buzzing sound. Defense Minister Ahmed Al Shabah knew that his appointment just arrived. Finally he can personally talk to the mysterious Colonel Marc the Black Cat of the Rim-Cats Regiment, a regimental mobile combat team. Though it will cost his country five billion Euros a year, he have deemed it a good price for the mercenary's expertise.

"Sara, lead our guest into my office please," he instructed the secretary working for him.

"Yes Minister," she replied. 

1 The Contract

Office of the Minister of Defense, Ar'Raq City, Republic of Ar'Raq two hours earlier

The moment I got out of the jet liner, the dry hot air of the Middle East have engulf and nearly overwhelmed me. Though I just arrived and still having a bit of a jet lag, I cannot relax for the appointment to meet with Ar'Raq's Defense Minister is scheduled within two hours, just enough time to shower, dressed up for the scheduled meeting, and drive towards the Defense Ministry Office. I arrived at the office with five minutes to spare. Making my way towards the secretary I offered to her the letter of agreement, my ticket to see the Defense Minister of Ar'Raq. 

"Good afternoon Mr. Marcus," she greeted smiling after reading the letter, her voice trailing a slight Arabic accent, "The Defense Minister is waiting for you."

I nodded my approval gazing at her well developed body, she looked rather young around early twenties as my mind raced thinking how she would react if fucked by me. She stood up and opened a filling cabinet, leaning forward her well rounded ass can be traced from the long western style skirt she is wearing. She fetched a file and handed it to me, my eyes gazed a bit lower to her chest marveling at her rounded breast, I smiled at her and she in turn smiled back. 

"You will need this Mr. Marcus since the Defense Minister wanted you to explain your men's capabilities," she explained her eyes meeting mine. 

"Call me Marc and I didn't even know your name," I replied to her extending my right hand. 

"I am Sara Ibrahim," she giggled a bit reaching for my hand, grasping it, and we both shook hands, "I'll let the Minister of Defense know you're here Marc."

She pushed the intercom button and spoke in Arabic, a reply came and she moved away from her desk.

"Right this way Marc," she ushered me inside the office.

Two hours passed and I walked out of the office with a slight smile on my face. This contract has been secured though many questions were asked by the Defense Minister and I have provided the answers he wanted which my regiment and I can deliver. Because of the Defense Minister's trust in my regiment's abilities, the government of Ar'Raq signed another two years contract which gives my company three years of work. Fifteen billion Euros is a very high price and yet the government of this country is willing to it for their security. 

"Did you get what you wanted Marc?"

"Oh I did Sara," I replied to her with a wide grin on my face. 

"Wonderful," she exclaimed, "I'm under the impression that you're new here."

"Yes I am."

"Have lunch with me since I got a two hours break," she offered.

"Sure why not," I replied as Sara joined me exiting the Defense Ministry building. 

Sara Ibrahim showed me a well known restaurant in the city, ordering some kabobs and an ice tea, my stomach started to rumble in anticipation of the meal to come. The young woman sitting in front of me giggled hearing the rumbling stomach. 

"You must be hungry aren't you Marc," she stated to me giggling.

"Uh yes I am actually," I honestly replied.

Our food arrived and we started to eat our lunch. We have talked for about an hour mostly about her family, her job, and her dreams in life. Sara Ibrahim grew up in a small village thirty minutes from the capital. During the tyrant's regime her older sister was kidnapped and raped by the tyrant's eldest son, her family was devastated and only found their solace in sending their daughters to college, hoping for a better life outside the country. After graduating top of her class in political science, the western coalition invaded at the time she was barely sixteen years old. Very few achieved what she have achieved in scholastics at her young age, when the regime was toppled and an interim government took over she was given a post in the Ministry of Defense as a secretary, five years later she is still the secretary for the Defense Minister. She don't have a brother, her parents now live in the capital city in one of the luxurious apartments of a wealthy neighborhood, and her sister now married a man from Hu'wayt, a small emirate country south eastern of Ar'Raq.

"I'm impressed with your accomplishments Sara," I have praised her sipping my tea, gazing at her well rounded tits.

"I never met a mercenary before Marc," she confessed, "You're the first."

"Well there are first times for everything," I replied taking another bite of my kabob. 

Sara's cell phone rang. Quickly she flipped the portable phone open and answered the call. She spoke in Arabic which I can only understand a few words, sipping my drink I continued with my meal. After Sara finished her phone conversation, she placed her cell phone back into her purse and smiled which is in turned was returned by my own what others call my charming smile.

"I got the rest of the day off," she said to me, "Looks like your regiment coming over have made our port busy and so did the ministry office. Because of that I am not needed for the Defense Minister will not be bothered by anyone only preparations with your whole regiment. I don't know what you told the Defense Minister but he is very impressed with you Marc."

"I was only honest of what my men are capable of and how they can aide your government against the enemies of your country," I have replied.

"But with only just a regiment of three thousand men?" she asked skeptical about what can be done, "isn't that too few for a country like Ar'Raq?"

"It is enough unless your country wanted to pay ten billion in Euros for two regiments."

"Oh," she said a bit surprised, "One regiment should be fine then."

I laughed and finally finished my meal.

"Well I am a bit tired and still suffering from a jetlag," I explained to her, "you go ahead and go home. I will go back to my hotel."

"My single apartment is a few blocks away from here. Why not come over and rest there instead," Sara offered.

"What about your parents?"

"They are out of town for a few days, so I am alone in the apartment."

"Alright," I agreed with her. 



Acceptance of Denial



This story is completely fictional, with no reference to any characters or individuals whatsoever, living or deceased; any likenesses to any individuals is by coincidence only. All characters are of the legal age of consent for acts of a sexual nature. If you shouldn't be reading adult content, you know what to do. There is also a moment of physical (non-sexual) violence. You may use this work freely but mentioning the original reference is appreciated and only reasonable. 

The World War Two theme is prevalent throughout the story, and I apologize for any errors or mistruths regarding accuracy and authenticity in regards to historical significance . The erotic part doesn't start immediately, as there's a slow build up during the plot; if you're looking for a quick fix, something else might be more suited. Please enjoy. 

~***~ 

1. 

When they came to collect me, I was standing in my studio by the large window overlooking my backyard, watching the winter snow drift down from the sky in the pale afternoon sunlight. I had been painting earlier, but had taken a break to clear my thoughts. I swept loose strands of my ash blonde hair out of my eyes, smoothing them back over my scalp, thankful that my short back and sides offered me reprieve from an excessive amount of hair. 

The smell of slowly drying paint wafted around the room, strong but comfortable, a scent that calmed me. Yet, even as I heard a car pull up sharply at the front of the apartment and heavy, fast footsteps approaching the front door, I suddenly didn't feel so tranquil. 

It was close to the end of another very cold winter in Stuttgart, southern Germany, nineteen forty. These were unpredictable and worrying times, nothing could be expected these days, everything was questionable. The German Nationalist Party had gained huge support and the German military and it's leaders were experiencing some huge wins in the war. Being anything other than what the Nationalist Party wanted you from German citizens was a risk to your wellbeing and your life. 

For a moment I almost believed that the footsteps belonged to visitors to fellow neighbours, but there was something too firm about those strides. I turned away from the window, and walked over to the front window, peering through the curtain as I examined the street below. A large black car had pulled up by the footpath, and I saw a group of half a dozen men, dressed in the black German military police uniform approach the front door. 

Before I had a chance to even wonder what was going on, a loud knock could be heard. I stepped back from the curtain, panic hitting me like a pile of bricks. What did the police want with me and why were there three of them? It seemed a little much for someone who hadn't committed a crime, although these days just being a Jew or a homosexual, for example, was enough to be causing trouble in the eyes of the police and military. 

"Open up, it's the police," came a muffled shout from below, as I forced myself to move towards the door of the studio and down the stairs to the lower floor. The front door was only metres away and I approached it, just as another loud knock began on the other side, more persistent than the first. 

"Open u-," continued the voice on the other side as I quickly unlocked and swiftly pulled open the door. 

"Miss Feldt?" I could see the judgement in his eyes as he regarded my scruffy appearance and short hair bleakly. Seeing a young woman in her mid twenties wearing pants and a loose cotton shirt must have unnerved his uptight expectations somewhat and I almost laughed in his face, knowing his discomfort. 

"Good afternoon," I replied, coolly, my determined gaze burning through the officers. 

"Miss Feldt," the officer continued, his voice no longer containing any traces of uncertainty. "It has come to our attention that you are required to attend the Stuttgart Transfer Campus immediately." 

"Excuse me? I haven't committed any crimes, what's going on?" I tried to control my fears as the group of officers shoved open the door and stormed the threshold, their shiny boots heavy on the floor. 

"We have been permitted to confiscate and store any and all property which is required in this process. Please cooperate or we will have to use stricter methods." The officer held up a clipboard, pointing to the stamped paperwork on it.  

"We have been fully authorised to carry out this arrest by the Stuttgart Transfer Campus." He gestured to one of his companions, a tall, stocky brute who held up a pair of handcuffs. "If you choose not to comply, you will be restrained." 

I watched, dumb-struck as the other officers wandered through the building, opening cupboards and draws and shuffling through a small stack of letters and bills on the kitchen table, in the dining room beside us in the hallway. What were they looking for? Evidence? Confidential information? What of my paintings, I realized with a start, will they take all of them? Steal them and sell them? 

"Please, just tell me what's going on!" I begged, plagued by the situation. 

"You'll know soon enough, Miss," the officer with the clipboard replied shortly, frowning at my question. 

The Stuttgart Transfer Campus was a well-known place in Stuttgart, infamous, actually. All the locals knew how much trouble you'd have to be in to land yourself a place within its walls. Some close friends had known people who had wound up there for one reason or another, and had never been heard from since. When it was first built in 1938, it was all very hush-hush, until large numbers of people had been brought into the place, many whose fates were never known. 

What was known, however, was that it was essentially a one way trip to somewhere else unpleasant, like a concentration camp or a forced labour camp. At first, Jews had been the main group of people brought there, then there had been 'traitors' and even rumoured resistance members from the community who were targeted. Anyone who didn't fit the bill for the 'perfect' German citizen was sent through those walls and often never returned to society. And now I was one of those people. 

Once the military police from Stuttgart Transfer Campus had swept through my house for an initial examination of my belongings, they packed me into their vehicle. We travelled for about twenty, long, drawn out minutes until we were passing through the security clearance gates, one after another. I remember thinking how locked up the place was up close. I'd never gone near the place before since it wasn't an ideal location to be hanging around and I rarely had any need to be in this corner of Stuttgart anyway. 

It was an odd thing, really, being trapped between two armed Stuttgart Transfer Campus officers in a vehicle. If I wasn't so afraid I'd have laughed at the situation. It seemed so pitiful, so foolish, how my people had signed up as officers just to arrest their own people, in the name of 'German honour'. In my opinion, the war was such a waste of time and lives. Had no one learned from the First World War? 

The rest of that evening was quite strange, in that time had moved to fast or too slow at different moments. I was led into the entry grounds by the officer with the clipboard and taken in though the initial signing process at the front entryway, where I confirmed my identity and signed my attendance. Then I was led into a consult room by another guard, where I waited at a small desk for someone to enter, after I was informed that I would be assessed. 

I spent several minutes, or it could have been half an hour waiting, everything seemed to be taking so long at this point. Then the metal door behind me opened and plump man in a more refined and slightly more decorated uniform shuffled in and sat down in front of me, across the desk. 

"Good evening Kristin, I'm SS-Hauptscharführer Hoffman. You may address me as Sir or Officer at all times," he announced sharply, as he placed a folder down on the table. 

"Hello," I managed to answer, sounding miserable, even through my own ears. 

"So, you're in Stuttgart Transfer Campus for assessment at this point. I'll be your evaluator for today." I said nothing, simply observing as he opened the folder and ran his chubby finger down the first page, eyes narrowed in concentration. Resting his hands on the table, he clasped them thoughtfully, as he peered at me eerily. 

"I will explain to you why you are here, Miss Feldt." I looked up into his burning eyes as he stared through me without blinking, his gaze insistent. "This morning, at approximately seven o'clock, your Uncle Vessmer was arrested and brought here. He is a man with... Unsupported beliefs here, which have been deemed unacceptable." 

I stared at Officer Hoffman, horrified by what I was hearing. 

"He has been transferred to another secure location, where he will no longer be an unsuitable part of society." 

"Where is he?" I asked, suddenly regretting my question. What did it matter? Uncle Vessmer was gone and I knew in that moment that he might not even be alive. 

"That information is classified. At this point his children, your cousin's, Markus and Sara Vessmer, are missing and we have not yet found them." Hoffman's lack of elaboration was exasperating. 

"Oh," I muttered, wondering if Markus and Sara had been able to flee the country, knowing that they could be next for arrest. There was a slim chance they were still alive. 

"What do you know about their whereabouts?" Officer Hoffman asked suddenly. 

"Nothing. I'm surprised they weren't moved with him. This is all news to me." Officer Hoffman took a long moment to stare me down through my denial, looking for any signs of lies, any kind of weakness. 

Finally he sighed, looking down as he brushed through the pages of the folder in his hands. "So you're an artist," he remarked, a sceptical undertone in his voice. 

"Yes." I was tight lipped, silently fuming at his not so subtle disdain. He was probably baiting me, I guessed, but I wasn't going to let him get to me. It was a clever tactic to pin something on me and lower my chances of getting out of custody. 

"You're here because of your Jewish connections, Miss Feldt. Your Uncle and your cousins had few connections, but you were one of them. And an important connection too. We intend to find out where your missing relatives went. Whether or not we find out, your connections with Jewish individuals has identified you as an untrustworthy and doubtful German citizen. Therefore we will decide what sentence you receive in due time. Do you understand?" 

"I, uh, pardon?" I struggled to breathe, my throat running dry in horror. 

"I'll give you some time to think about it," he stood, "You'll be placed in a holding cell until we speak again." He gathered up the folder before walking towards the door and departing from the room before I could think of anything to say. 

A moment passed, until another guard opened the door, crossed the room and led me out and into the holding cell. It was a minute room where I sat at a small, bolted down desk, trying not to be blinded by the bright lights of the room. A small metal bunk was positioned in the corner of the room, securely bolted down also, and a toilet was stashed in the other corner. I wondered briefly if someone else would be placed in confinement with me, once I saw the bunk bed, but then I thought that perhaps I'd rather not be face another detainee-I was in no mood for conversation. 

After some time, guards entered the holding cell and took me through several corridors until I reached a reasonably sized office. At the large timber desk sat Officer Hoffman, working though several stacks of paperwork neatly aligned on his desk. Looking up as I entered, he readjusted himself in his seat, twirling his pen between his chunky fingers. 

"Hello again, take a seat Miss Feldt," he waved to the seat opposite him facing his desk. I attempted to smile in response, but I faltered awkwardly. He watched as I walked over to the seat, aware that the guard remained in the room beside the door, silently watching. 

"I have reviewed your situation Miss Feldt, and have come to an approved solution. You'll be transported to the Stuttgart Detainment Facility within the next few days. Once there, you'll undergo further assessment." 

"How long will I be there?" I asked, dreading his response. 

"Until such time that you are informed." Officer Hoffman gave nothing away, much to my disappointment. 

I was brought back to my room after my second meeting with Hoffman. I remember seeing no one during the entire two days after being told what my future held. I was confined to that one small holding room for the whole time, passing the hours by sketching unrefined portraits in a notebook I had been given by a guard after seeing Hoffman for the second time. It served as a good distraction as I tried to whittle away the hours by any means possible. 

For a few hours on both nights, I twisted and turned as I attempted to sleep, dreaming of white walls and long endless corridors, with someone calling my name in the distance. 

2. 

During the morning on my third day of custody, I awoke to someone banging on the cell door. I lurched out of my bed and sat there, with the sheets wrapped up around me as the locks within the door slid open, until the door swung open. A single guard entered, holding in his arms a brown paper package which he gave to me carefully, seeing how nervous I was. I swear I caught him smile gently at me, a solemness in his eyes. 

"You have five minutes to change. You're departing for the Stuttgart Detainment Facility immediately after," he told me calmly, then he turned on his heel and left me, closing the door behind him. 

I dressed quickly, knowing that time was flying by and everything was changing so quickly that I had to move along with the change or risk being left behind altogether. I left the room in a hurry, abandoning the notebook on the desk, I didn't need it at this point. 

Once again, I found myself losing track of time as I was led through the corridors and out into a large transport yard to the side of the campus. I was hauled into a large bus, along with what looked like another seventy people who had been held at the Stuttgart Transfer Campus grounds. I wondered how we could all fit in a bus, there were so many of us, with only one place to go. There were guards along the isle of the bus, and no one moved, there was nowhere to run as the bus moved swiftly through the almost deserted morning roads. 

The Stuttgart sun rose slowly, basking everyone in the bus in a strange crimson light, and even as the first flakes of snow for the day began to fall ever so gently, the sun shined on. Just as the sun rises, we must live. All we can do for now is live until we cease to exist... 

The Stuttgart Detainment Facility was as daunting as I had predicted, with higher, stronger concrete walls enclosing the buildings within. This place was a prison of all levels, I realized, as the bus slowly entered the first security buffer, then the second, the third and then passed through the grey walls into the facility's grounds, only to stop at another vehicle security buffer. In comparison to the Stuttgart Assessment Facility, this place was a fortress of security. 

On entering the grounds, the first thing that hit me was how pale and grey everything looked-there were no plants at all, just a vast expanse of bitumen and a massive building up ahead. Smaller buildings had been placed along the larger building, along with half a dozen security towers in sight, each with at least two guards within them. I took a deep breath, steadying myself as I looked around and saw vehicles moving containers, supplies and materials around the place. This was a well organized misery hole, that was for sure. 

The bus pulled up at a vehicle bay, and we were all hoarded off, some of us were shoved onto the platform below. A few people yelled, a couple of women were crying, their faces hollowed by who knows what kind of sorrows and many nights of no sleep. 

One of us, a man with several fingers missing, collapsed, either in trauma or illness. One of the guards from the Detainment Facility nudged him with a boot, then started yelling as the man burst into tears. 

"Get up, you swine!" spat the guard. "Stop, leave him be!" Yelled a young man from our bus, who had started trying to lift the now sobbing man to his feet. "Fuck you!" Yelled the guard, before pulling out his sidearm and whacking him on the head with the butt of the handgun. The loud crunch of metal against flesh was heard by all of those surrounding the scene. Screams broke out as the younger man collapsed, a strange wheezing sound coming from his throat. 

"God no," I whispered, as drops of blood splattered over the snow on the platform. I turned my head away, raising a hand to my face, wondering why my cheek felt strangely warm and cold simultaneously, only to find I was wiping away a single stream of tears. 

We had been ushered away along the platform then, into the large warehouse-like building, leaving the older man screaming in terror behind us, several guards now surrounding him and the crumpled form of the younger man. 

Our group huddled together in the huge building as our names were called and we were each weighed, measured and sent through to a large, open room, with a large metal stage centred at the front. There were no seats, so instead we were lined up and ordered to stand silently. I ended up at the front of the group, second from the end of the line. It seemed like we were waiting for something, someone, I realized, as several people entered the stage from a door behind the stand. 

Several heavily armed guards flanked a woman who walked out to the centre of the stage and stood confidently above us all. She wore a black Nazi uniform, decorated with more badges than any of the officers I had seen so far. I noticed the red SS patches on either side of her collar, she was definitely a higher officer. The black material fitted perfectly over her figure, with every seam tailored to fit, and I felt a pang of envy, knowing that the clothes I had been given were at least one size too big. Even among her comrades, she cut an imposing figure, standing there, brimful of authority and harshness. 

She was by no means a younger lady, I guessed at the time that she must have been in her fifties. Her porcelain complexion, slim, angular face, with sharp cheeks and thin lips gave her a severe, chiselled appearance. Her pale blonde hair reminded me white gold, forming soft waves around her face, falling just level with her jaw line. Her figure was well camouflaged by her uniform, but it was clear that she was definitely sculpted to some degree. Judging by her aura, she wasn't someone who'd willingly let herself go, no matter how busy life or her schedule was. 

"My name is Obersturmbannführer Adler. As you know, this is the Stuttgart Detainment Facility. I would welcome you, but this is not a very welcome place," her voice was loud, crisp, clear. It carried itself through to all of the group, with all its smooth throaty tones. She paused for a moment, assessing each of us, one by one, her sharp eyes moving systematically from one of us to the next. 

"You all know why you're here, but you don't know what lies ahead. This is a facility for management and distribution of individuals who do not fit society, and who do not encompass all of the true and honoured German values. You saw outside what can happens here when you fail to keep in line, so obey the rules and don't cause trouble," looking around, Adler was met with nothing but our silence and engrossed stares. 

"So what can you expect here? My answer is nothing, there is nothing you can expect anymore. Many of you will be sent away to work in specialized locations. Others will remain here until we see fit. All in all, be aware that we have no obligations to any of you... So be aware of what you do and show respect to your superiors." 




Acceptance of Denial Pt. 02



This is the second part of Acceptance of Denial which continues on from the events in the first instalment. I suggest you seek the first part out if you haven't previously read it, to gain a full understanding of the plot and characters. Despite the apparent controversy of the first instalment and thanks to the positive feedback from many readers, I decided to continue and complete what I began. 

Trigger Warning: 

The World War Two theme is still prevalent throughout the story, and I apologize for any errors or mistruths regarding accuracy and authenticity in regards to historical significance. I have only loosely based the plot and characters on historical facts, there are many things regarding this story which are not in line with history. I also want to make it clear that I do not wish to cause any intentional offence despite the seriousness of the themes. Please remember that my opinions are not reflected within this story, I have separated myself from the outlook of the completely fictional characters. 

Also, the erotic parts don't begin immediately, so if you're looking for a quick fix, something else might be more suited. Please enjoy. 

~***~ 

1. 

I awoke sharply, my fading dreams swirling around me, their clarity slipping away as my mind lurched into a sudden consciousness. My eyes flashed open as I grappled to control my senses, my heart racing in my chest. Looking around, I found I was lying on a single bed in a room that seemed vaguely familiar. Tasteful wallpaper wove its way across the walls and fine oak furniture consisting of a closet, desk and bedside tables were positioned around the room. 

My surroundings were by no means unpleasant, but I felt an odd feeling of disconnection with the unfamiliarity of it all. My limbs ached, I realized, as I lay there, propped up on my elbows as early morning sunlight streamed through the window beside my bed. And then I remembered. 

I remembered being taken from my apartment from one facility to the next and all of a sudden I knew where I was. I leapt out of my bed and stared down through the sunlight and outside, only to be faced with the cold, greyness of the Stuttgart Detainment Facility's grounds. Guards were marching groups of detainees across the area within my sight, their voices drowned out by a strong wind blowing through the grounds. I rubbed my eyes wearily, knowing there was still more to remember, trying to piece together how I had ended up here in this room. 

A chain of strung out images and memories slammed through my mind and I closed my eyes in a futile attempt to slow them down. Soft, bare skin, black fabric yielding in my hands before sliding down and along toned legs, soft moans and whimpers of echoing desire and a dark, eerie gaze of possessive lust. All of those very memories were of Adler and I froze, knowing what had come to pass the night before, as I summed up the time we had spent together. 

Knowing what had occurred last night, I needed to try and find out what I was feeling and gain some kind of clarity in all of the confusion I felt. I wanted to forget what had happened, but I knew that this wasn't something that could be ignored or erased. It would have been foolish to convince myself as though last night would have no impact on me. I stared out the window, desperate to know what this all meant for me, slowly trying to find some kind of understanding of last night. 

After last night's encounter with Adler, she had dressed before she led me out through her office and across the hall to the room where I had slept within. It was my sleeping quarters now, Adler had explained, before wishing me a good sleep and leaving the room. She had told me that she would see me in the morning as she would be free for a short while. Now that the next day had arrived, I wondered if I would be able to hold a conversation with her and whether we would continue on with the beginning stages of her portrait or I'd end up trapped in another of her escapades. 

It was clear that Adler had made her intentions known last night and despite my reluctance to her sudden actions, she had pursued her intentions until they had favourable results for her. I felt grimy and warped, tainted to the core and as flawed as I had ever felt in my life. Somehow I had become something horrible last night, unwisely submit to Adler, knowing that it would serve no good whatsoever. Yet strangely, I felt alive and liberated in that moment, feeling as if I had some kind of twisted chance to earn myself a way out of this situation. 

There was a slight, flickering hope hidden within me that if I could please Adler, perhaps she would keep me alive. I had something to offer, even if I was going to be used by her, I realized. If I served a purpose for Adler, by both painting for her and providing her with her desired sexual gratification, I had two purposes which allowed me a sliver of hope for survival. If she was going to use me, I thought, then I would fulfil her expectations in order to survive. Although I had undeniably felt some kind of indescribable and distorted attraction to her last night in the haze of my suppressed sexual urges, logic was now filtering through my thoughts. 

I paced the room now, close to regretting what had happened, but realized that I could use this all to my advantage. In these dark times I could rely only on myself and the chances that only luck could bring me. I would have to see what Adler would do from this point onwards, as dangerously unpredictable as she was, I had to be careful. If I followed her lead with caution and docility, I knew I had half a chance. 

In a state of strange calmness I moved towards the closet and opened it, only to find several cotton shirts and two dark pants hanging within it. I plucked one of the white shirts out, still on its hanger and ran my fingers carefully over the material. It was a soft blend of crisp cotton, a quality item crafted from fine materials. I examined the dark pants as I pulled them from the depths of the closet, they were thick and crisp, but not too heavy-a mix of cotton and the newer nylon fabric. Heavy leather boots had been placed at the base of the wardrobe and I plucked them out of their place and placed them on the floor beside me, marvelling at the solid feel of them and their shine. 

I decided to freshen up, so I unbuttoned and shrugged out of my bed shirt and pulled on the crisp new shirt, momentarily surprised at the good fit. Adler must have gauged my size well, she was observant with almost everything, I smirked at her accurate estimation. Even the pants fitted well as I slipped them on eagerly, turning to face myself in the mirror to survey my new outfit as I fastened the buttons of my shirt and stooped to pull on the boots, which shone almost as brightly as Adler's. I wasn't used to such fitted clothes, I generally wore loose-fitting clothing, but this was a welcome change. 

I tidied the mess of bed sheets , carefully smoothing out the creases with my hands, hurrying to get the room into a presentable order in case Adler suddenly appeared. I folded my bedclothes and placed them into the wardrobe, hurrying to shut the closet's door. I straightened my collar, determined to look my best and moved to the other side of the room, the soles of my boots snapping stridently on the floor. I opened the door leading out into the hallway and found that only one guard was positioned out guarding the door to Adler's office and the studio. 

He regarded me silently and I announced myself. "Miss Kristin Feldt, I'm here to see Frau Obersturmbannführer Adler as per her request." His eyes softened in acceptance and he nodded, "Go ahead Miss Feldt, she is currently free." "Thank you." I raised my hand and knocked at Adler's office. 

"Come in," a now familiar voice responded, from the other side. I pulled open the door and entered, feeling her presence, even as I closed the door behind me, keeping my head down modestly. I looked up to meet Adler's scrutinizing gaze from across her desk. "Good morning Kristin, you look very fine in those clothes," she welcomed me softly, her eyes scanning my figure openly, satisfied approval in her small smile. 

"Good morning, Frau... Erika, I mean," correcting myself at Adler's expectant raised eyebrows. "Thank you for the clothes, they are very comfortable," I added, taking a careful step towards Adler, who was amidst a pile of folders and paperwork, a half finished coffee clutched in her hand. 

"You slept well, I trust?" Adler asked, before her eyes watched me over the rim of her cup. "Yes. I found that I was quite comfortable." "You're a restless sleeper on the other hand," she stated, placing her cup on the table. "Pardon? How so?" I could not mistake the doubtless tone in her voice. 

"There's a restlessness in your eyes, a darkness under your sockets that lingers even now," she rose from her chair, stepped around her desk and moved quietly towards me, her eyes never leaving my face. "Even you don't know the extent of this darkness, Kristin... But I see it, spreading through your mind and your flesh... A beautiful, ridden creature..." I looked away from her at the floor, numbness spreading through me at the truth in her words, she had become peculiarly sympathetic. 

She walked around me, her hand running along my outer chest and trailing along to my other shoulder as she moved behind me. My nerves sparked with some kind of perplexing current as she came to face me again, her hand sliding up along my neck to cup the side of my face, turning my gaze back to focus on her. 

Erika's other hand grasped the front of my shirt, even as she leaned in to place soft kisses along my jaw line, her lips moist and burning with their contact. I couldn't move myself under her touch, completely immobile as she held me in a state of debilitating trance. My legs became surprisingly unsteady and my arms ached to wrap around her, but I held off, unsure if she would permit me to touch her. 

"I know this darkness within you, Kristin... It is what defines you now," Erika's words were murmured into my ear and I swallowed, closing my eyes, praying for some kind of deliverance from her intensity. I felt her power as she descended upon me, her lips stirring against mine as she pulled me deeper into her grasp, her tongue invading my vulnerable mouth, even as I tried to resist her for a moment. I gave in, terrified to anger her, somehow knowing that to resist her would be an offensive defiance, something that would lead to her revealing more of her darkness in the form of displeasure. 

She stood back from me, quickly and without a trace of remorse at the distance between us, her demeanour changing as she returned to the seat at her desk. "I'll be here for the next half hour, Kristin, so you can carry on with your sketches while I sort through the rest of this paperwork." 

I gathered what normal countenance I could as I nodded and went to collect the sketchbook and materials I needed from the studio adjoining her office. I felt her eyes on my back as I retreated into the studio to gather up the equipment I needed, not wanting to waste any time on proving my efficiency as an artist to Adler. 

As I scrounged around for the items I required, my thoughts somehow wandered to my cousins as I found myself hoping that they were alive. Had they made it out of Germany after all? I shook myself, knowing I had more pressing matters to focus on and returned to Adler, who was downing the last of her coffee, looking like an icon of severity in the large chair behind her desk. 

"Continue on then," she asked, her voice strong, almost as if she were giving an order. She could go from hot to cold in a moment, I noted, almost afraid of her change. She looked up at me from the paperwork and gave a brief nod, before continuing to flip through the pages, pen in hand and completely focused on her work. 

It was almost as if I wasn't there for the entire half an hour, in which I brought her to life in my first sketch of her. After roughly half an hour her eyes honed in on me and I stopped the sketch to await her words, unable to function as she watched me. I wondered if I would ever get used to her forceful presence, the way her gaze could freeze the progress of time and leave it paralysed, just as she did to me. 

"Well, I have duties to see to, and I will be away from this office for the rest of the day. However, I will return here this evening. I trust you will be well occupied today?" she placed the pen down and tidied the pile of papers. "Yes. I expect to make much further progress, and perhaps more when you return later." 

"Good. I'll see you later today," Erika stood, her hair shining in the light in unison with the badges of her uniform. She had not softened, I could see, as her eyes burned with an impatience to tackle the tasks ahead. 

"Take care," I nodded, standing as she strode away from her desk, dominance resonating from each of her steps, her flawlessly astute posture only accentuating the power of her movement. She raised an eyebrow and slunk from the room, opening and closing the door behind her. 

The stillness of the room was not at all calming, as I stood there, running my fingers through my hair in frustration. In one moment Adler could be so friendly and inviting, then sensual and flustering, before transforming into the icy Obersturmbannführer I had known on first sight. There was something about her volatile changes which both terrified and excited me and I longed to understand her. I needed to experience her firsthand, which meant I would not only have to witness Adler's breed of darkness, but experience it directly. There was something about her that I sought after and had become disturbingly addicted to. 

I left Adler's office and sauntered into the studio through the adjoining door, pacing the room in a state of trepidation. I thought of my cousins, worrying about them, knowing that they could be captured, or tortured or killed. I wrung my hands as I struggled to steady my mind, the studio felt confining, the walls seemed to force down in on me as my thoughts knotted and constricted themselves together. Markus and Sara could be dead, I panicked, my brow creasing in apprehension as I began to dwell on the seriousness of the situation. 

God, why did I do it for them? I shouldn't have encouraged them to flee, but what other choice did I have? They were the only family I had-my parents had died in a tragic fire at a restaurant when I was three years old, I had survived as I was being cared for by a nanny at my childhood home. With no siblings, as I was my parent's firstborn and ultimately, only child, I had been raised by my Uncle and Aunt, with Markus, Sara and I being very close-they were almost like older siblings.  

After Aunt Clementine had passed away from pneumonia as my cousins and I were progressing into our years of adolescence, Uncle Robert had turned to Judaism as a form of sustenance and optimism through his grief for the passing of his beloved wife. Although both Markus and Sara had become a part of the Jewish community through their father, they were not as devout as he, whereas I was not interested nor pressured to be a part of Judaism. Still, my nonexistent belief in Judaism was completely overlooked by the Nazis, they had demonstrated complete disregard for the fact that I myself wasn't Jewish. 

I was uneasy that day, the worry in my mind keeping me preoccupied with thoughts of my cousins, knowing that if I was found out by the Nazis I would be interrogated and who knew what else. I knew I couldn't give them away, we had already lost Uncle Robert and I felt that I owed him, Mark and Sara, as they had provided me with a stable family life when I had no one else. I was determined to keep believing in Markus and Sara, they had to survive, and I needed to hold out hope for them. 

2. 

Despite the sickening worry that I felt all through the day, I had finished several detailed and realistic sketches of Adler, which had allowed me to gain a much more perceptive understanding of the form of her features. As the twilight hours fell and the sun slunk down beyond the distant city line, I heard footsteps approaching the studio and looked up as the door opened and Adler stepped into the room. 

For a moment I only stared at her in silence, unsure of whether I should stand or remain seated, what would be more polite? Adler looked tired and somewhat tense for once, I observed, as she watched me sitting there, sketchbook in my lap and pencil in hand. 

"Good evening, Kristin," the weariness was well hidden in her voice as she greeted me. "Hello," I replied, straightening in my seat as her gaze washed over me, bearing no readable emotion. Something told me not to ask her what her day had been like-she seemed rather flat in her distant manner. "It was an eventful day," she answered my unspoken question, remaining where she was, resting a hand on her hip with a sigh. 

"What have you done so far?" she asked, looking curiously at the sketchbook which revealed another half finished sketch of her. "Quite a bit," I informed her, looking up as I hoped she would be pleased with what I had created so far; I did not want her to think I was being lazy or idle. 

Adler took a few steps towards me then, reaching out towards me. "I'd like to see them up closer," she said, as I passed her the sketchbook, resting my hands in my lap, the pencil shaking in my fingers. Her presence had me trembling again, as I battled to retain my composed appearance. Even if I was cracking inside, I couldn't afford to let her see it too openly. 

"Excellent," she whispered approvingly, drinking in each of the portraits as she carefully turned the pages, satisfied by my depictions of her. "Thank you," I replied, my heart suddenly twisting in a warped dance of contentment and joy. 

She handed the book back to me after she had examined each of the sketches, smiling softly for once as I looked up at her. "We should continue with your work for a while. I will have dinner within the hour," in the brief silence before she spoke, I could see other words begging to be ushered from her lips. 

"I don't feel like dining alone this evening, would you like to join me?" She looked somewhat hopeful as she stood there beside me-was she pining for my company? No, I dared not to hope, I thought, as I tried to focus myself on the present moment. 

"Er, yes, if that's what you'd like?" I had been called on by a waiter for the past day, who had served me fairly decent meals in a highly courteous manner. However, I felt that obliging Adler with her suggestion, or politely worded demand, would be more beneficial rather than deciding to go against her wishes. "Very good," she seemed appeased then, as she moved to sit opposite me in the seat which she had occupied the first time we had begun her portrait, only the night before. 

"We'll use the natural light this evening, if you don't mind?" I asked Adler, knowing that the way the light was falling on her enhanced her features in a way that the ceiling lights could not. "Go ahead," she permitted, nodding briskly. 

Her posture was as strict and acute as usual, her uniform emphasizing her look of daunting power, her look of distinctive discipline. I felt a spark of tension shoot through me as I remembered her form stretched out above me, as I drove her to a roaring climax only last night. A part of me ached to see more of her-I was still yet to see her upper torso in a more revealing position, but I quickly tossed that fleeting thought aside. 

In that last half hour of the dying light, I began sketching the base underlay of the portrait's composition. Adler's figure consisted of a mass of loosely structured pencil work while her facial features were also drafted with light outlines and shading. I had barely scratched the surface of what was yet to come with Adler's portrait. 




Acceptance of Denial Pt. 02



We spoke very little, so I was somehow able to focus almost entirely on what I was doing with her portrait, while I kept my thoughts under control. I was thankful for the silence, but not so relieved about Adler's gaze never leaving me-she was still just as focused on me as she had been the previous night. Nevertheless, I knew I had no other choice but to ignore her attention and carry on as if I was not aware of her vigilant surveillance. 

"Well, I believe it's time for dinner," Adler broke the silence as she glanced at her wristwatch and stood, her pale sheen of hair dissonantly luminous in the evening sunset, as the day swiftly faded into darkness around us. 

"Yes, you're right, and we're losing the light now as well," I agreed, pausing as I held the tip of the pencil just in line with the canvas, before I sat back, knowing that the session had come to a close. Adler regarded me without a sound, as I stood, leaving the canvas to place the pencil on the table and move over to the windows to close the curtains. 

Adler moved to the door just as I pulled the final curtain across, watching me silently in the dimness, a little light spilling in from her office through the doorway. I caught myself gazing at Adler for a little too long and I think she must have noticed, because her eyes widened slightly, before narrowing just as discreetly. I blinked uncertainly and in the next moment her eyes had returned to their normal, assertive state. Eager to put that moment behind me, I promptly moved towards Adler and the two of us left the room. 

Leaving the darkened studio behind us, we entered her office, within which the fireplace was still littered with simmering embers which mutedly glowed. "Follow me, my quarters are just along the hall," she directed me as we strode through her office and out into the passageway, where a guard saluted Adler as we passed him. I nodded, petrified of the fact that I was going to her private quarters; I felt like a lamb to slaughter. A jumble of blurred, chaotic thoughts blurred my concentration, trying to imagine what awaited me in the course of the evening. 

I persuaded myself that it would just be a quiet night of a civil dinner shared with Adler-nothing more, but somehow I knew that I was blatantly lying to myself. Obviously what had transpired last night couldn't be forgotten and I knew that she wouldn't leave things be-her ardent kiss today had proven that, even if her cold composure immediately afterward had left me mystified. My denial was palpable, as was the odd silence between Adler and I. She must have had a bad day, that was for sure. 

We made our way along the walkway, past the elevators until we navigated a bend in the passage and continued on a few more metres until Adler stopped beside a large double door where two guards saluted her. One of them stepped forward to quickly pull open the door for us, and Adler marched into the room beyond with a confident eagerness that somehow gave away that we had arrived at her quarters. 

These were definitely her place of primary residence at this facility, I admitted, as I followed her into a large open living area which consisted of several luxurious leather lounges at the immediate side of the room, where I stood in the doorway. A huge, elegant dining table, fashioned from opulently carved oak and adorned with sophisticated pre set tableware stood on the other side of the room, looking as if it could seat over a dozen people. 

Two waiters stood at the dining table, dressed in crisp, white uniforms, silently waiting until their assistance was needed. A larger door stood on the other side of the room and I guessed it led to her bedroom or some other space, while several less significant doors were located along the walls. I was awestruck at the lavishness of her quarters, to say the least. 

"Well, we're here," Adler announced with a smile, raising her hand to beckon me further into her space. She looked far more contented then, relaxing now that she was in her own quarters- to me it was like a mass of stress had been lifted off her shoulders. She moved freer too, as she called to the guard outside to shut the entryway door behind us and drifted towards me, her hand wrapping gently around my arm as she walked me further into the room. 

"Come, let us enjoy dinner, Kristin," Adler smiled, as we walked over to the table and sat down at its closest end, signalling for me to sit beside her at her right side. She looked up at the two waiters, "We're ready for dinner," she informed them. They nodded and one of them quickly turned to exit through a door behind the dining table, to bring food with them, I guessed. 

I silently gazed at the assortment of neatly arranged crystal glasses, hand painted porcelain plates with golden trims and what looked like sterling silver cutlery. "You're very quiet Kristin," Erika announced, as she waved to the remaining waiter, who dotingly poured her a glass of pale, shimmering wine. "Would you like some wine?" she asked, as the waiter stood patiently between us. 

"Er, yes," I replied, looking up at her anxiously, already regretting my decision to welcome alcohol into my system-I needed to be fully aware of my surroundings, but at least Adler intended to drink also. Perhaps it would even calm my nerves a little, even though there were still risks associated with relaxing in the company of Adler. 

"Come now Kristin, be calm. Relax." She eased back into her seat, sipping from her crystal glass, resolute blue eyes calling me out on my uneasiness. "I'm sorry, I'm just not used to these surroundings," I took a shaky sip of the wine, fighting back nausea. I looked up at her momentarily, not meeting her eyes, then down at the table again. I felt vulnerable, I didn't know what to say, and I didn't know how to use the elaborate set of cutlery in front of me. And I didn't know what the future held. 

"You worry too much. Although these must be nerve-racking times for you. But they are for everyone at this time," her tone was serious, troubled almost. "Why? Things seemed to be all in order here," I said, placing my glass of wine back to the table. 

"Well, it is plain to see that things are well controlled here, in this facility and in Stuttgart as a whole, but there are other... Aspects which do not seem so good." I watched her, as she looked out over the table, a faraway look in her eyes which I hadn't seen before. "There have been more bombings throughout Germany." "Where?" I asked, my eyes widening with shock. 

"Many towns and smaller cities have been hit. The British have been targeting a variety of our industrial sectors: mines, factories and even supply facilities have been damaged and destroyed. More lives have been lost. I've seen reports on the damage, but in the end they can only try to crush us," she laughed mirthfully, her solemness disappearing. 

I felt that for a moment her confidence was false, was she at all unconvinced of the future too? She certainly wasn't letting any doubts show clearly though. "They haven't touched us yet, Stuttgart is unscathed to this day," she waved her hand nonchalantly, her expression that of defiant smugness. 

The sound of footsteps approaching distracted me from Adler and I looked over my shoulder to see four waiters enter the room, each of them laden with large plates of intricate food. For a moment I felt a twinge of irritation, there was no way the two of us would eat all of this fine food, it seemed excessively greedy. Even more so, the inmates of the facility had no option but to eat the watery mush they were served, while here we were about to delve into an extraordinary meal. 

Adler and I watched as the waiters placed the platters, stacked high with roast turkey, smoked salmon, seafood and an array of roast vegetables and salads, around Adler and I. When Adler had her eyes fixed elsewhere, I took a moment to run a hand through my hair in an attempt to tidy the ashen strands, I felt uncomfortable and didn't know how long this dinner would last. I could do nothing but go along with the conversations and oblige Adler with my meek and polite presence. 

As dinner ensued, Adler and I made small talk about the weather and upcoming Christmas celebrations, not that I had any plans in regards to the festive season, aside from being locked up in this facility. We spoke about art, and Adler quizzed me on my education and my childhood. Although I was a willing contributor in the conversation, I didn't feel that asking about Adler's past would be appropriate; she still had barriers that I knew I couldn't break through. Besides, what would I gain with crossing lines and exploring her history? 

Somehow, however, Adler had finished her glass of wine and the waiter had poured her another at her request. As she progressed through her second glass, she seemed to open up a little and I found that she was more agreeable with my opinions and more openly stated her own. I marvelled quietly at how she had changed, even as the waiters returned with servings of dessert. The deliciously fragrant sweets were placed onto the table while the savoury platters were promptly removed from sight. 

We moved on to the topic of my family life, which I was at first timidly disinclined to discuss, but Adler charmed me into feeling a little calmer about it. I found myself revealing more of myself, although I worried I might regret it later. Most unexpected of all was Adler's honesty and frankness which became apparent as I had just finished telling her about the difficulty my Uncle had gone through after his wife's passing. "I understand all too well the pain he suffered," Adler murmured, her finger slowly dragging itself along the rim of her nearly empty glass as she looked away from me before her gaze returned. 

Somehow her eyes looked unnervingly expressive as she sighed and took a deep breath. "I lost my husband to pneumonia nine years ago, you see. After I lost him, I still held out hope that it was all a lie-that things would turn out to be a nightmare and I'd wake up with him beside me. Obviously it was a defence mechanism, I was clearly in denial, which often occurs after losing someone you care for. But I can understand why your Uncle turned to religion, since in times of darkness we cling to any kind of hope to ease our pain. Unfortunately, however, he chose a faith which has led to trouble further down the line." 

"I'm... Sorry about your husband, Erika," I said, unable to imagine the pain she had gone through all those years ago. "Thank you," she murmured, her lips turning upwards in a small smile. "But it is in the past now, thankfully. I still have two children who are alive and well, so I am not alone in all senses of loneliness." 

"That is a good thing," I nodded, unsure of what to think now. Clearly she had formed a family, but whether or not she was a lesbian in the time of her family's days, I didn't know. Maybe she had always been a closeted homosexual? Or maybe she was just toying with me only, and she had never- 

"Kristin? You haven't had much of your wine, is it not to your liking?" Adler's words yanked me back into reality and I was lost for words for a moment. "Oh. Forgive me, I just don't drink very often and didn't want to overdo it." "What do you think would happen? You're good natured and humble, I'm sure you would cause me no offence," she laughed, her eyes sparkling mischievously at my shyness. 

"Perhaps it would be best if we had a few less presences with us?" she looked over at the waiters who stiffened attentively. "Clear this table will you? Leave the wine with us and leave the room to us," she ordered, her eyes snapping back to me as they hurriedly stepped around the table, skilfully removing the abundance of remaining platters of food. They left the room, exiting through the doorway they had used earlier, closing the door behind them with a dull click. 

"I think it is better without them," she murmured, her voice filling the void of silence within the room, now that we were alone. She sat forward in her seat, her body turning towards me as she moved. My eyes flickered back to my drink, and I reached out and clutched the glass, sipping it quickly, hoping she didn't see me ogling her. 

"Oh Kristin, how you make me laugh," she chuckled, knowing that I was drinking from the glass not because of my own free will, but because she had mentioned it. I fought back the urge to blush as she stared me down, either to intimidate me or because she found me fascinating, maybe it was a mixture of both. I think she enjoyed knowing that even at a mere mention of such a small thing, I was so prepared to please her. 

"It's quite good," I said, emerging from behind the glass, a tight lipped smile threatening to unleash upon my face into a full scale beam like that of Adler's. "Would you like some more?" she smiled, before clasping the bottle and standing to offer it to me. I blinked, realizing I'd finished the entire glass in my eagerness. Her eyes lured me into agreeing almost immediately. 

"Er, yes please," I admitted, deep cravings for intoxication stirring within me; I was one of those who found it difficult to stop after I'd begun. The words had barely left my mouth when Adler had popped the cork again and begun pouring the glass full for me again while I held it out for her. 

Adler poured another glass for herself and sat down again, still smiling. "Kristin, listen, about last night." I stopped mid sip and the wine went down in a lump as Adler ran a hand through her hair, her movements betraying a hint of nervousness for the first time during the evening. "I... Er," I muttered, trying to delay what she wanted to say, I was too afraid to hear her thoughts. 

"Kristin, be silent," Adler silenced me with a reserved look and a raised finger. She took a moment to gather her thoughts as I held my tongue. "I know we haven't really talked about it. I don't know what you've been thinking, but I know I've been dwelling on it quite a bit today and I want you to gain some kind of understanding," she sighed, her voice mellow and thoughtful. 

"I don't have many words that can explain this adequately, they all fall short of my thoughts of the matter. They fall short of explaining many things... But the point is, I wanted to do what happened last night and when the moment presented itself, I took the chance. I don't know what would be best to say, but I want you to know, Kristin, that I'm torn between right and wrong with you." 

I didn't know what Adler meant, there were so many possibilities of things that she could be truly trying to imply. Was she trying to justify last night to me, or maybe to herself? Was she trying to tell me that she regretted last night, or was she saying that she simply didn't know what it all meant? I just couldn't piece it all together. All those alternatives flew through my mind as I sat frozen in my seat, trying to form my own response to her. 

"I'm not sure what to think about it either," I confessed, placing my hands on the table, my palms and fingertips pressing into the rigid oak almost painfully. I looked up at Adler, who watched me attentively, before continuing. "I was, I am confused about last night, I don't know what to think or feel either. And you're an officer, Erika; you could send me to my end, and yet here we are right now, and there we were last night. I can't understand it." 

"You don't have to understand Kristin. Let me worry about the confusion and the unknown. I don't want you to have that burden," her voice was a whisper now, concern filling each of her silken syllables. Her hand crept over to mine, encasing my fingers in a warm embrace. Somehow I appreciated her gesture of consolidation and relaxed under her touch, her words awakening some kind of acceptance within me. 

We sat there for a moment, the two of us saying nothing. I allowed her hand to remain with mine, letting her warmth spread through the coldness of my own. I felt awkward and shy, not knowing what would happen next, or what all of this meant. With my free hand I brought my glass to my lips, drinking quickly until it was empty. I just needed something to numb my nerves, to stop my thoughts from colliding into each other. I looked up at Adler, whose expression was completely blank, carefully hiding any traces of emotion, as I reached out and grasped the bottle of wine. 

"I think that's enough for now," Adler murmured darkly as the fingers of her free hand wrapped around my fingers, crushing them vaguely against the bottle. Wincing at the sharp, then throbbing pain, I held my breath, completely numb aside from the discomfort she had created and the sudden racing of my heart. Once she was certain that I'd got her message, she loosened her grip on my hand, only to pull my hand from the bottle and up to her lips as she stooped slightly. Her lips brushed against my hand then pressed firmly still, the sensation of them against me gone too quickly. 

"Stand up," she told me, lifting both of my hands, which she still held captive, I followed her guidance as she pulled me upward to my feet. She abandoned her seat along with me, and stepped around the side of the table to me, stopping for a moment to let her eyes trail along my figure. Once her eyes met mine again, she gently released my hands to place her own around my arms, closing the gap between us with a single, light kiss; she seemed to be testing the waters. Perhaps she was checking to see if I was willing to continue with her. A part of me derided that she even seemed to care, since she had control over almost every aspect of my life now. If I had resisted, she would either let it be or make my life difficult, and I was just too afraid to risk the latter. 

She pulled back from me, her eyes searching mine for any aversion to her. Carefully, I wrapped my arms around her waist. I had to follow through with this, I couldn't forget that this was how I had to survive now, even if it meant giving myself away to someone evil. Her eyes widened as she felt my embrace and we just stood there for a moment, Adler looking calm and in control and myself feeling completely diffident. I couldn't decipher my thoughts, even as I leaned in to kiss her back, it seemed as if I were trying to give her a token of my acceptance. My final coherent thoughts told me I just had to play along and keep up my facade of compliance. 

Despite her intimidating uniform, which only served to heighten the blatancy of her sickening involvement in the Nazi regime, she still looked very striking and almost alluring. I could only ever feel the warped sense of fear and attraction I felt for Adler when I was near her and within her grasp. When I was on my own I was sickened by her and everything we had done, but strangely, in her presence I felt only fragile and susceptible in her arms; like she had some kind of tranquillizing impact on me. 

All my thoughts trickled down to a snuffed out emptiness as Adler's lips responded against mine, her heat and pressure almost causing a whimper to escape from my own. Her grip tightened around me and I settled my hands along her back, spreading my fingers against the fabric of her jacket; as I became greedy in my urges to feel myself against her. Everything became nothing, as thoughts became sensation. 

Perhaps I was then beyond the point of fear, and I think that through my actions and longing towards Adler, she had summarized that I was becoming just as engrossed in being with her as she was with me. I think the alcohol or maybe the feeling of strange disconnection I had felt within myself for the past few days had finally taken its toll and now I no longer had control over myself with reason or with logic. After all, the life I was now living was not one of reason and I no longer found any connection with common sense. 





Acceptance of Denial Pt. 02



Adler pulled back from the kiss, leaning in against my neck to shadow small kisses from the crest of my ear to the base of my collar as I closed my eyes, struggling to not moan aloud. I didn't want to lose myself so quickly, but Adler knew her way into the cracks of my reluctance so well, and already I was putty in her hands. Her lips were at my ear then, her breath sending my nerves on edge, for such a simple thing, it was intensely intimate. 

"After last night, I told myself no more. But I can't resist it..." I listened, the sound of blood roaring in my ears, as her words wafted into jumbled whispers and sighs. Even as her hand came up to rest behind my neck, her grasp only served to heighten my state of aching emotion which had completely taken me over. This was too much for me to bear, yet her words continued. 

"After everything, I just can't help myself with you," she pulled away from my neck and I looked down at her, seeing the darkening of her eyes and the truth etched over her features. I was lost for words, staring down at her breathlessly as her fingers loosened around my neck to run along my neckline to the ridge of my collar, slowly tracing their way along the veins and tendons. We kissed again, deeper this time, as I became bolder with her avidity. 

Adler broke the kiss, her lips still close to mine and whispered, "I want to go deeper..." Her words were uttered so softly that for a moment I did not feel that I had heard anything at all. This was surely a dream, the pinnacle of unreality, a strand of ambivalence drawn out by my weakened subconscious. 

I was so internally nullified that I initially failed to put meaning to her words, but then I realized that there could be an endless array of possible implications for her words. She might have meant that she wanted to continue with our interactions, which, at this point, was already clear. Or she might have been implying that she intended to venture further and progress along the lines of the previous night. I mustered together enough bodily control to nod in response of her words, even as her eyes transfixed mine, trying to give me some kind of clarification. 

I was adrift as we immersed ourselves in more kisses, each one more immeasurable and fiery than the former. Just as I thought something had to happen, Adler's lips disappeared from mine, her hand vanishing from my neck, as she wordlessly led me from the kitchen table to the large double doors at the other side of the room. I was afraid, my inner thoughts of fear and disquiet stirring beneath my lust, unable to break free from their confines within my mind. She opened one side of the door then entered the unseen room, guiding me in behind her, a small smile playing at her lips. 

It was pointless to wonder where we were, it was clear that this was Adler's room. The large bed in the centre of the room, outfitted with a finely stitched quilt and satin sheets came as no surprise, as did the ornate furniture bordering the walls. The large electric chandelier at the centre of her room illuminated our surroundings in a warm glow, highlighting the elaborate features of the room. 

Adler's room reminded me indistinctly of the rooms of my uncle's house from my youth, but I refused to dwell on any thoughts of him or my past right now-it all hurt too much. Nor did I want to remember the guilt and shame that I felt when I wasn't being so distracted by Adler; I couldn't handle my regrets and longed for some kind of reprieve. The chance of acquittal from my guiltiness was something which Adler was now offering me. 

As I stood beside Adler, taking in the sight of her fine sleeping quarters, she moved away and the sound of her closing the door behind us echoed out. That very sound seemed to announce itself as an action which verified the whole meaning of us being there. I turned as she dimmed the lights from a switch on the wall, which gave the room a mysterious and more intimate feel. Adler took a step closer to me, her eyes twinkling lustrously as she ran her hand along my jacket, working from the lapel down to the base seam. As her hand reached the base of the jacket, she trailed it even lower until her fingers grazed at my aching lips, brushing only slightly against my swollen clit through the fabric. 

She smirked as I froze under her caress, pulling her hand back only a few inches, she stepped closer to me. Without thinking, my hand lunged out and I gripped hers firmly within my grasp. For a moment, I couldn't believe how brazen the wine had made me, but immediately after, I was bracing myself to be hit or screamed at. Adler was caught off guard, that much was sure-for a split second I could see the surprise flare in her widened eyes, then some kind of anger or, I don't know, passion lurched from within her. 

Her mouth found mine again and we became slippery tongues and quiet moans, giving in to the merciless emotions which had slaughtered her restraint and my judgment. I felt like I had crossed a line, touching her so abruptly and so firmly, and I didn't know what she thought of my actions. Still, I released her hand and in that moment she pulled back from me, her hands rushing to the hems of my jacket, sliding it off my shoulders and letting it drop to the floor. She had no care for my clothes, she focused on me entirely, as she ran her hands across the lengths of my collarbones through my shirt and down along my breasts. 

The sensations from her touch rippled through my chest and nipples exquisitely, creating even more of a throb within my clit. Even through my undershirt, Adler could feel the unabashed tautness of my nipples, which were quickly responding to her encouraging fingers. I felt so vulnerable and open to her, even through what remained of my clothing. 

Even so, there were no traces of thoughts left within my mind, my consciousness seemed to remain unattached to me. I still didn't know what she was thinking, and suspected I never would know. Later on I would be thankful that I was absorbed in the moment, since it allowed me to be a little more at ease. 

Adler's face betrayed very little emotion, aside from a slight smirk as she moved her hands against me, becoming far more controlled than moments before. My heart thudded in my chest as she began to unbutton my shirt from the collar down, I could feel myself trembling as I felt her fingers steadily progress. She had become unwavering in her coolness, her eyes never leaving mine, even as the final button was released and she ran her hand down from the base of my neck, along and down to my abdomen through my undershirt. 

I felt a building sense of anticipation shiver through me from her touch, and I think she knew I was quickly unravelling, placing her lips against mine in a silent broach of her understanding. As the kiss ended I felt her hands rest against my shirt, tugging the shirt off me while I cooperatively shrugged out of it. 

As she removed each layer of my clothing, I felt more and more aware of the fact that she was peeling through my layers of concealment and would soon have me as exposed and as defenceless as I had ever been with her. I silently thanked the Gods that I had alcohol in my system to numb almost all of my perceptions of the unfolding circumstance. Her eyes swooped down to my belt as she grasped it, undoing the buckle with more tenacity than I had shown with hers the previous night. Where I had been inquiring and lenient, she was resolute and firm, confident with her actions whilst still being acutely attuned to my responses. 

The belt slithered from my pants, dropping to the floor amongst my jacket and shirt with a muffled thud as Adler pointed to my shoes. "Take off your shoes, it'll make this easier," her voice was still strong and commanding, even while her eyes betrayed her inner passion. 

I bent, hastening to pull off my boots, thankful that the zips along their sides made the process much faster than laces would have allowed. As I went, I removed my socks, knowing that soon enough I would be completely naked anyway. All the while Adler had watched me as she removed her belts and undid the fastenings of her jacket. 

For the first time during that evening, I remembered that she still had a gun, as she removed it from her hip, turning away to place it into her wardrobe. She pulled off her boots and socks, setting them beside the wardrobe as well, then closed the closet's door and faced me again, her eyes even darker than earlier as she herself began to shed her clothes, along with me. 

I remember Adler's possessive gaze as I slid off my pants and allowed her the first glimpse of my legs and the black underwear which fitted me tightly, but still didn't reveal much to her through the fabric. Now that I wore only basic underclothes, she was able to see the slimness of my legs and the pale, delicate tint of my skin. 

My slight bone structure was not something I prided myself in, I had always longed for more curves and a more elaborate figure, but her pleased expression made me feel a little more whole-more genuine. It was strange how she made me feel validated as a human being-I know deep down that I was a very sensitive and self-effacing person; which was why I gullibly allowed Adler to certify my worth. Still, while she watched me, I could see that it was with a hunger that led to a genuine, if warped, attraction to me. 

As she placed her jacket on the seat by the desk in her room, she returned her hands to urgently unbutton the shirt beneath, her fingers well practiced and unfaltering as she progressed. I watched her silently, then moved closer to her, kneeling before her, the feel of the carpet soft and yielding under my knees. My hands unzipped her pants and wrapped around her ass, my fingers kneading her soft skin through the fabric. 

I wondered dimly why I had the nerve to caress her so strongly, but the alcohol and my lust had faded away any of my hesitation. Adler moaned, fingers threading through my hair as she enjoyed my touch, and I was glad I had become a little bolder. Even before her pants had slowly shrunk down her thighs, I could smell her fragrant excitement from the swollen depths within her panties. 

l ached to fulfil my urges and fought back a blissful shudder as I ran just the tip of my tongue along her panties, down from her clit and along to the base of her lips, leaving a glistening trail as I pulled back to look up at her. She had her eyes closed, her face raised to the ceiling as I moved my hands to the front of her and stood, grasping more of her shirt while I lifted it away from her. The cotton of her shirt creased in my hands as I pulled it away from her body, revealing the soft, flawless skin of her chest and ribcage. Finally, her breasts were visible, although the white bra covering most of her shapeliness left the finer details to my imagination. 

She lowered her face from the ceiling and kissed me unfalteringly, leaving the taste of her saliva to linger as she moaned under the soft, circling caresses of my hands against the muscles of her abdomen and back. The warmth of her skin almost matched the heated ferocity of her mouth against mine as she smothered my lips again, her arms wrapping around me as I responded equally to her enthusiasm. I felt her movement as she began to direct us back into the centre of the room, our lips still entwined with fervent waves of emotion. 

As my legs made contact with the soft quilt on the bed behind me, Adler stopped moving and trailed her hand down to the base of my back, her voice softly demanding. "Lie on my bed, Kristin," her words were hypnotically soothing and I obeyed her, sitting down at the end of her bed. 

At that point in time I felt quite disoriented and blindingly exhilarated. I lifted my legs to move further up the bed on my hands and knees until I allowed myself to sink into the softness of the quilt, watching as she approached. She lowered herself onto the bed and moved lithely along it until her face was only a breath away from mine. 

When I suspected that she might speak again, she kissed me hungrily instead, her body sidling up closer to me. Her warmth soaked into me, even through the fabric of my undershirt. Her arm wrapped around me and I pressed myself along her length, enjoying her hand wandering from my upper arm to my elbow, and then to my ass, where her fingers gripped me tightly. I felt my heart flutter as she moved her hand from me and rose above me on the bed, lifting her leg and shifting to straddle my hips, her toned body immense and intimidating. 

She gazed down at me, almost tenderly as she drew her fingers along the front of my shirt, her touch slow and unhurried, until I whimpered underneath her, betraying my impatience. Her eyes widened slightly at my agitation and she slid down my legs a little, pulling on the front of my shirt. "I want to see you," she breathed, and I raised my upper body as she tugged the shirt upwards, revealing my breasts and midriff. 

Adler sighed as she tossed my shirt away and ran her hands along my collarbones, appraising the structure of them as she absorbed the sight of the rest of my torso. I wasn't muscled by any means and was quite willowy, with smaller breasts and a slim waist, which had initially bothered me in my younger years, but which I now enjoyed. I had come to appreciate that I had a more masculine figure, since I avoided receiving most men's ogling gazes, which I found was a benefit. 

I felt more vulnerable than ever but my fear was mixed with a potent sense of excitement, knowing that I was involved in such a risky, dangerous act. Adler's hands moved downwards, her fingers tracing around my breasts and gliding over the soft flesh to their sensitive peaks, where she circled my nipples. 

She was so tender and slow with her movements, I was caught between wanting her to go faster or to remain at the same pace. I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut, I couldn't stand the torture of feeling Adler's thighs locked around me, or the sight of her with minimal clothing, let alone her insistent caresses, which were nearly unbearable. 

Adler exhaled, one of her hands closing around the side of my face, her warm fingers digging into my skin. "Open your eyes, don't look away," she growled, bearing more of her weight down on me, and my eyes snapped open in obedience. Her eyes were burning ferociously, and I was afraid of what she'd see in my own and what I could see in hers. I didn't dare to try and decipher what she was thinking, she was too difficult to read at that point. 

Her hand remained at the side of my face while her other hand continued down my ribcage to my stomach, the tips of her fingers trailing ripples of sensation through my skin. I couldn't look away from Adler, so I braced myself and placed my hands around her legs, running my fingers along her tensed thigh muscles, feeling their heat radiating into my palms and along my own bare legs. Her hand left my face to join the other, her fingers tucked into the waistband of my briefs, slowly pulling them away from my abdomen. 

The rush of air against my pussy was a relief, but was soon forgotten as Adler pulled my briefs down lower, one of her hands sliding lower until her fingers brushed against my clit. I gritted my teeth and shook at the sensation, my eyes widening in shock at Adler purred her enjoyment, her eyes still not leaving mine. I whimpered as she pulled my briefs down further, prompting me to lift my hips off the bed for her to grasp and pull the thin fabric along and off me. 

My breath shook as I felt the rush of air more openly this time. Adler couldn't resist breaking her gaze to take in the sight of my trimmed mound, running her fingers along my short, dark blonde trail. She looked back up at me, smiling slightly, satisfied with what she saw. I was far too incoherent to string together some kind of response, and before I knew it the moment was gone. 

She lifted her arms behind her back, releasing the clasp of her bra with a smoothness that astounded me, letting the straps slide down her arms until they reached her wrists, before tossing them somewhere onto the floor. Her breasts were free and beautiful, with soft, creamy skin, the same tone as the rest of her body, with rich pink areolas and nipples a shade of light crimson in their stiffness. 

She was more ample than I when it came to breasts, she was so curvaceous and well shaped that I found her so intrinsically unique and such a contrast to my own form. I was surprised that her nipples were already so hard, she was being taken over by the effects of her body's needs and knowing that I was a part of her desires made me feel proud. 

Without thinking twice, I reached up and caressed her breasts, each of my hands kneading and stroking the fullness of her chest, watching as she closed her eyes and raised her head to the ceiling. Her chest rose and fell with her slow shaky breaths as I caressed her, focusing my attention to her swollen nipples which I manipulated and rubbed gently, while my heart raced in elation. She moaned when I pulled at the sensitive buds to see her response, and continued firmly tweaking and squeezing them between my thumb and forefinger to enhance the strength of the sensation when I saw she enjoyed the feeling. 

She brought her hands up to clasp over mine and looked back at me, her lips slightly open in an expression of ecstasy. I struggled to breathe as she pressed my fingers deeper into her breasts, until my fingertips were pressing into her sweltering flesh and I was afraid I would begin to hurt her. She removed her hands from mine and lifted herself off my waist to lie beside me, and I turned onto my side to face her. 

Her arm wrapped around me and her hand came to rest at the small of my back and I felt comfortable, even as I looked into Adler's eyes and accepted her kiss, which was soft and tenderly reassuring-something I needed to feel in the midst of everything that was happening. As the kiss ended I let a sigh of calmness escape my lips to brush against Adler's, which she felt, and took as a sign of contentment. 

She knew I was ready to progress further and let her hand slide down from my back to the base off my ass, before slipping downwards to cup my ass. I kissed her deeply, longing for her to go further, desperate for some kind of release for either myself or her- I just wanted to please her. In my eagerness I had grasped Adler's waist and had slid my fingers into the waistband of her panties, which had reminded her that she still hadn't removed them. 

She broke our kiss and pushed herself up onto her knees with her free hand supporting her. As her fingers on my ass began to knead and massage the delicate skin, she looked down at me, "Take them off," she instructed, rotating her hips slowly to clarify her meaning. I reached up and tangled my fingers in her panties, deliberately taking my time. I wanted to test her and see whether she would cope with me controlling the timing of my acts. 

She moved her hand, resting it over mine like she had earlier, then snaked her fingers downward to clamp around my wrist-she was going to make me pull them down, I realized, as the pressure around my wrist built rapidly. It was so erotic, my hand tangled in her panties, the power and strength of her manifesting quickly into pain for me. 

I felt a sharp ache in my clit as a new and sharp need burned within me. Before I could think of what I was feeling, Adler had tightened her grip on my wrist, her eyes boring into mine ferociously as my body began to yield to her. I pulled downwards, her soaked panties following my movement, until I released them and let them fall along her legs, where she kicked them off and away. 

She kept her hand wrapped around my wrist, less painfully now, and after a moment guided my hand up to her glimmering slit, which I could see from my angle beneath her. As my fingertips made contact with the wetness there, her grasp slackened, then she let go of my hand as I began to stroke up along her lips, from just below her clit, to the entire length of her lips. I knelt forward, my lips making contact with her pussy, and ran my tongue slowly across her folds before fluttering against her swollen clit. 




Acceptance of Denial Pt. 03



This is the third and final instalment of this trilogy. The most enjoyable aspect of everything surrounding this is your feedback- I'm grateful for the time you have taken to read any of these instalments. Receiving comments and your votes means a lot and I appreciate it. 

Trigger Warning: 

*Contains themes of violence, injuries and deceased persons.* Includes content based loosely on the bombing of Cologne by the allied air forces during the night of 30th May, 1942. 

The World War Two theme is still prevalent throughout the story, and I apologize for the alterations and mistruths regarding accuracy and authenticity in regards to historical significance. I have only loosely based the plot and characters on historical facts, there are many things regarding this story which are not in line with history. I also want to make it clear that I do not wish to cause any intentional offence despite the seriousness of the included themes. Please remember that my personal opinions are not reflected within this story, I have separated myself from the outlook of the completely fictional characters. 

This final part does reveal erotic content almost immediately, but as with the prior instalments of this piece it is very plot driven. If you're looking for a quick fix, something else might be more suited. 

~***~ 

1. 

The train rolled steadily underneath us as Erika sat on the bed, tugging off her boots with a sigh. I slid the compartment door shut behind me with my elbow, the tray of coffee and pastries shaking slightly with the rhythm of the train. She collapsed back into the quilt, relaxed and peaceful as she lay there, her hair spread out over the bed. I continued over to the bedside table and placed the tray down. 

"Is that for me?" she asked, propping herself up on an elbow, her eyebrow raised inquisitively at the coffee, then at me. "Yes. Would you like it now?" She sat up slowly, nodding appreciatively. I sat down beside her and passed her a saucer of the steaming coffee. "Thank you," she smiled at me, her lips memorizing me for a moment. I turned away from her to distract myself and picked up the remaining cup of coffee for myself. 

"What do you think of the ride so far?" she asked, after taking a sip of the dark brew. "It's been good. The staff here are excellent," I added, recalling how well looked after we had been throughout the dinner. "Good. Yes, they are some of the best in the hospitality industry. I'm glad you're impressed," she took another sip of the coffee, shuffling closer to me as I sipped my own. 

We made small talk about the trip and when her meetings would be. She suggested I try visiting several of the galleries in Cologne. One of her attendants based in Cologne would be able to escort me around the city and show me a good time. She finished her coffee and I set her cup back at the tray as I finished my own. 

As I leaned forward to place my own empty cup back to the tray, I felt Erika shift beside me, her hand wrapping around my side, the fingertips of her other hand caressing my neck. I still had short hair which a barber had kept perfectly trimmed at the Detainment Facility on a regular basis, so my neck was exposed to her touch. 

I held my breath as her lips brushed against the back of my neck, beginning at the base of my hairline and down to my collar as she pulled it away from my neck to expose more skin. My breathing became shallow as her hands snaked around to the front of my shirt, feeling the fabric loosening around me as she unbuttoned it. "I think we should use my bed rather than our separate ones tonight," she whispered as the final button came free, her hands slipping lower as she began working open my pants. 

I swallowed, gasping as her fingers slid smoothly into my pants, rubbing through my panties so slowly with an intense pressure that had me struggling to inhale. "Remember to breathe," Erika murmured, laughing quietly at my ear. I couldn't speak in response, so instead I moved my hand to hers and guided her hand a little slower, not wanting to rush any of this. She allowed me to control her movements, her own breathing a little ragged in my ear now. When I couldn't handle much more, I slid her hand from me and as I bent down to pull of my shoes and socks as quickly as I could manage. 

She leaned back from me, her body loose and relaxed as I turned back to her, wrapping one arm tightly around her waist and the other into her hair as she slunk backwards into the bed, pulling me with her. She had a strange, wild look in her eyes that reeled me in, and I was taken aback by the way her hands gripped me, firm and tight like a vice. Her fingers were digging in and I felt like I was being branded with hot irons, but what cut through all of that was something even more unique. 

She was actually pleading. When her mouth wasn't against mine, she muttered and whimpered words in an almost tortured state. "Oh please, please..." she breathed, writhing underneath me as I tried to grasp what was happening. We'd barely even starting anything and she seemed to be almost delirious, rambling feverously against my bare skin after I had hurriedly removed both my shirt and undershirt. 

"Oh God, please..." she whispered beneath me while I struggled to not be bucked off of her twisting limbs. I pressed down against her in an attempt to still her, my hands searching for all the buckles and fasteners of her uniform so I could offer her freedom from the confines of her clothes. She had removed her sidearm before I had returned to our compartment with the coffee, so that was one less obstacle. I unbuckled her belts as quickly as my shaking hands would allow, Adler's breath hot and quick, as she stilled slightly against me. I slid down from her, pulling her pants down along her legs as she lifted her waist up to help the process. 

Her jacket fell to the floor once I pulled it off her, her shirt following a moment later. She was bare aside from her bra and panties and I absorbed the sight of her sprawled out on the bed beneath me. I slid off my pants, which joined the rest of the clothes on the floor and lowered myself back to Erika, kissing away her moans. The compartment had become suddenly warm and I was glad I was wearing minimal clothing. 

"Please, Kristin!" she whimpered, arching up against me, impatient and hungry for more contact. "Erika, wha-" I tried to find out what she wanted, but her lips consumed mine as if she didn't want to explain. I didn't understand why she was being so erratic, she was startling me with this different side of her. Her mouth moved slowly against mine as my lips slackened against hers, the kiss deepening as her tongue circled mine. I realized her hand was slipping into my panties just as the tip of her finger slipped against my clit, making me moan. Erika looked up at me, biting her lip as I pulled away from her, struggling to catch my breath. 

As I moved back, she ripped my briefs down from my hips and I shrugged them down and off me, mesmerized as she reached back to unhook her bra. She tugged the bra away from herself and moaned as I caressed her nipples, her shaking limbs as toned and as beautiful as ever. Despite more than two years having passed she was still just as fit as she had been the first time I had ever met her. She had never stopped her strict fitness regime and still looked after herself. 

I lowered myself down against her pale skin, feeling the heat radiating from her as her chest rose and fell beneath me. Taking her left nipple in my mouth, I reached up with my free hand and stroked her other breast, hearing her rush of breath and purr of pleasure as her nipples hardened in harmony with my efforts. "Oh yes, harder," she begged, crying out for a split second as I complied with her wishes, faintly worried that people in the next compartment might hear us. She gasped again as I swapped to her other breast and pleasured her in the same way, her moans filling my ears. 

Erika's hand closed around my own and lead it down to the hem of her panties, where she slid my hand into them, her eyes closing and lips parting at the sensation. I moved a single finger along her pussy, leaving a trail through the wetness there, then began to tenderly stroke her slit, feeling her hips beginning to circle under my hand. I swallowed as I felt her stirring underneath me, trying to keep a hold on my own excitement. I knew she was hyped for more and I couldn't wait to give her what she needed, but I wanted to see where this could go first. 

"You tease me..." she moaned, as she pressed herself against my finger, hoping for penetration and a greater pleasure. "You know I need you so badly Kristin, give me what I need," I vaguely thought I'd never heard her speak so much during sex-somehow she seemed to be overcome with a different kind of agitation. What it was that she needed so badly, was it something different? 

I pulled my hand away from her wetness to drag her panties down from her hips until her mound was in plain sight. I tossed her panties away and shuffled my way down the bed until my mouth was only a breath away from her slick lips, which were infused with her delicious fragrance. Her scent was so thick and sweet that I couldn't resist any longer. The first stroke of my tongue had her writhing and my thoughts completely scattered. 

I couldn't hold back, I had to delve deeper into her and take every drop of her that I could. I ate her slowly as I went deeper into her, swirling my tongue around her depths until my tongue and lips were coated with her juices. I couldn't recall the last time she had become this soaked so quickly. I slipped my hands under her ass as she pressed against my tongue, rocking herself against me as I worked her into a frenzy. 

After a few minutes she was so breathless she could only manage to whisper a stream of encouragement and moan when my tongue pressed against a sensitive area. I moved my tongue as deep as I could go, then left her lips completely to flutter my tongue against her clit. "Oh my God..." she cried out as I let my tongue press flat against her throbbing button. I eased back into her, moving a little faster now, hoping to give her more sensation and enjoyment. My fingers kneaded the muscles of her ass as I worked to rouse more excitement within her. 

Looking up her body I found her staring down at me, her eyes as wide and dark as they could become. I held her gaze as her hand slid to my head, her fingers twisting lithely in my hair, unable to look away as her hips flexed, her inner muscles beginning their slow rhythmic contractions. I loved the feel of her fingers in my hair, it was a gesture of encouragement and fondness on her part, which I cherished. I sought out all her inner sweet spots, one after the other, over and over as she began to gradually whimper and moan relentlessly. 

A thin sheen of sweat broke out over her chest and her features as she began to really press herself against my mouth, her words suddenly becoming clearer as she approached her release. "Oh Kristin, harder, more... I need you so much." My tongue went limp for a moment as her words took me off guard. What was she doing? She took a huge shaky breath as I resumed my efforts, trying to shut out any further words she might say. 

"You feel so good, give all you have... Oh yes, oh yes..." I worked my tongue even faster as she drove herself against me. The effort was blinding and in a final move to tip her over the edge, I slid my tongue from within her and doubled my efforts at her clit. She shook and trembled, her body freezing up as she lost control, a short cry bursting from her throat. I grasped her hips as she jerked against me, her juices flowing abruptly along my tongue. As she calmed down I gave her one final lick and let go of her hips, taking a deep breath of air and to regulate my breathing. 

Erika lay very still beside me, her eyes closed as her breathing slowed, returning to her normal pace. I sat beside her, unsure of what to do. Usually she would turn towards me and there would be some eye contact, but she seemed to be a little withdrawn, lacking her usual willingness to communicate. After what had just happened I didn't really know what to think- she usually wasn't so vocal with words, with sounds she was, but not actually speaking to me like she had just then. 

I moved closer to her, resting my hand on her hip, timidly for once, as I lay down beside her. Still she didn't turn towards me, and I pressed my lips to her exposed neck coaxing her into relaxing into my arms. 

"Erika?" I whispered, running my fingertips along her hip as she sighed. "Please don't..." she sounded pained, and I rose up on my elbow to sweep the hair away from her face. She looked utterly miserable, a strange glimmer in her eye as she looked at me. 

"Tell me, it's okay. I can help you." "I don't think you can," she whispered, blinking quickly as she slowly turned to face me, her body facing me directly now. "What... What do you mean?" I coaxed her, my hand returning to her arm, my thumb circling against her soft skin. 

"I mean I'm beyond your help. Or anyone's. Don't you know it?" She spoke slowly, as if she wasn't used to the words she said. "Know what?" I pressed, more confused about what she meant. She hadn't ever been this faltering with her words before. "Isn't it plain now...? I thought it was just pretty clear." "Er... It's not so clear, Erika. Just tell me, if you need to. I just don't like to see you suffer like this." 

"But I've always suffered with you, Kristin. Everything about the way I feel has always been wrong." "I don't know what you mean," I whispered, unsure of what she was trying to get across. "Oh, please don't make me say it out loud, I think I'll die if I have to." "You mean you..." Surely she meant that she cared about me-was this her confession? "Yes. I need time to say it out loud though," she gazed at me silently, her gentle hand resting against my cheek. 

She laughed suddenly, her eyes softening. "You look so confused. I feel almost bad for having told you, except that I don't. I think the time will come when I can tell you more of the truth, very soon." It was clear that she couldn't get the words out, but knowing what she meant was enough for me. "I don't know what to say," I replied, trying to decipher the thoughts in her eyes. "Don't speak then," she murmured, raising herself up and above me, strong arms embracing me reassuringly. 

She looked just as beautiful as ever, a pale sculpture, her intense blue eyes tinted with the amber light of the room. I watched as her eyes began to burn with a dark fire as she moved her fingers along my skin, sparking small charges in my nerves as she went. My thoughts trailed away as her touch overran my senses and she claimed me as hers once again. 

2. 

Cologne was lively and warm, the late May sun a little kinder than Stuttgart's had been the day before. I predicted that it would be a hot summer, as I explored the city for the first of the three days Adler would be in the city. I spent several hours wandering the parks and shops of the city, one of Adler's neatly dressed personal attendants, Hans Merz, providing civil and polite company. 

He wore a dark suit and coat rather than a military uniform in order to help us blend in a little within the city-Adler didn't want us attracting any attention. Although he was by no means enthusiastic or opinionated company, at least he could hold a decent conversation about idle topics-nothing too personal arose. 

I visited one of the large art galleries in the city centre and by the late afternoon, Adler's attendant and I stopped by the Cologne river to observe the slow beginnings of the day's melting sunset. By the end of the day Hans seemed less like a guard and more like a tour guide since he was a local member of the military and was knew the city of Cologne well. Adler was familiar with him from his previous time serving at the Stuttgart Detainment facility recently, so she deemed him an appropriate choice. 

Hans and I visited an esteemed restaurant by the Cologne River for dinner that evening. The three course meal was a luxury that I hadn't enjoyed for some time. It was a strange thing, sitting there in a restaurant for the first time in years-I had never gone out to eat at restaurants since I'd been living independently and hadn't been out to dinner since my detainment. I felt somehow open and exposed when I sat with Hans as we worked our way through the servings of food until the plates had been cleared. 

By the time we had left the restaurant it was around seven o'clock and Hans decided we could stop by at a bar where we could pass a bit more time. I think he was enjoying being able to spend some time out in the nightlife after a week of military duties. Being a full time officer who was stationed at one of the military organizations in Cologne's district, his work was endless and important. The stress he must have been under at times I could never truly comprehend-but I could imagine. 

It was a large and vibrant bar, with a theme somewhere along the lines of cabaret. Even though the night was yet to truly settle for the city folk of Cologne, the turnout was still good as we arrived after a few minutes of cab travel. Hans made do with brandy and I ordered a glass of scotch. The drink burned and I distracted myself from the sensation by taking another look around at the place. A jazz band played fast paced tunes over at the stage and people began to migrate to the dance floor, a haze of cigarette smoke flowing between them. 

I looked over at Hans and he grinned, downing his drink as if he were eager to feel a bit more relaxed. The atmosphere was calming, but it was more than that- there was a sense of enjoyment which led everyone to forget about the world around them and the things that made them uneasy. The war, the division between one person and another and all of the denial could all just be forgotten in a place so carefree and relaxed-where alcohol was a social lubricant and the key to a little more freedom. 

Time went on and after a few hours we departed the now packed bar and caught a cab back to the hotel. I'd had a few drinks during the course of the night and was thankful I had dinner before enjoying the drinks. Hans was as merry as I but he kept up his cool, peaceful demeanour and didn't lose the plot-he couldn't afford to risk letting go completely-the whole idea was to keep a watchful eye on me after all. For several brief moments in the night I had felt a pang of annoyance that Adler still had eyes and ears on me after more than two years... But what could I do? I could only grin and bear it, which wasn't hard thanks to slight intoxication and a good time. 

Hans and I made small talk and laughed about the evening's events, but meanwhile I felt torn between the end of a good night out and eagerness to see Adler again. I believe Hans had no clue of the nature of the relationship between Adler and I, especially since she had told him just like anyone else that I was an artist who had painted a portrait of her, and that she simply wanted an eye kept on me so I didn't get lost in Cologne. 

That was a pretty fair and reasonable way to put things and wasn't something that would arise suspicion, unlike the fact that I was technically being held in custody for association with my Jewish relatives who were missing. I did appreciate Adler's discretion when it came to withholding that information, but it worked in her favour as it did for me and kept things simpler to any outward eyes. 

I remember asking Hans what the time was, and after checking his wristwatch beside me in the cab, he informed me it was just after midnight. I had laughed, marvelling at how time flew and Hans had agreed, but reaffirmed that it was all fine, since Adler had told me to stay out until about this time. She herself wouldn't be back at the hotel until late anyway since her meetings would take up the earlier hours of the night. 




Acceptance of Denial



With that, she turned away from us and marched away, back through the door, her guards following immediately behind her. As soon as she had gone, the group burst into poorly suppressed whispers, with Adler's name being tossed from lip to lip. "Settle down now!" ordered several of the guards, trying to hush the murmurs. 

Within the hour we had been led into a huge wash bay area, cleaned ourselves up and been given new uniforms for the Stuttgart Detainment Facility. The next couple of hours we were assessed further first medically, then answering questions about ourselves, by a large squad of officers. By the time the assessment's were done, two thirds of the group had been sent away from the Facility. None of us were told why, but I think a few of us suspected that they were either going to be transported to a labour camp or concentration camp, or even killed. 

I spoke with no one except my assessor, a finely boned man with a trimmed moustache and very slick hair. He seemed content with the answers I gave to the questions which I believed had been set up to psychologically review us. My medical assessment had gone well, I had no diseases or deficiencies that the medical practitioner could see. By the end of it though, I was glad to finally be able to stand on my own and calm down. I was standing on the outskirts of the collection of people who had passed the testing and would be staying at the Stuttgart Detainment Facility, when someone called my name. 

"Kristin Feldt? Miss Feldt?" I turned to see two guards approaching me from a door at the other side of the room. 

"Yes?" I asked, stepping forward and bracing myself for whatever was about to happen next. Heads turned in the rest of the group, curious eyes watched as the guards came to a stop beside me. 

"You've been summoned by Obersturmbannführer Adler. Your presence has been requested immediately." 

"What? Oh, what's going on, I-?" I felt my heart race, my hands shaking with nerves. 

"Come with us now, Miss Feldt." They were unyielding and I knew that I had no other option. 

"Okay," I sighed, trying to fight back my queasiness. What could Adler possibly want? 

After a few minutes of walking through the facility and travelling up an escalator, I found myself at the top of the large building's structure. As soon as myself and my two fully armed shadows reached the destined floor, I realized the décor had changed into a more classic style, in comparison to the metal industrial look of the lower levels. There were framed paintings along the walls and the floor was layered with a fine stained timber. 

Along a hallway we went, until the guards came to a stop in front of a solid oak double door. One of the tapped me wordlessly on the shoulder and pointed silently at the doors, whilst the other guard knocked quickly at the door. I knew Obersturmbannführer Adler must be on the other side of that door, and the feeling of intimidation I already felt did nothing good to calm my nerves. 

"Come in." Obersturmbannführer Adler's voice echoed through the wall on the other side. The guard opened one of the doors, and entered the room, standing to attention as I followed behind him into the room, the second guard stepping in behind me. 

I found myself in a spacious office, with an elaborate carpet floor and several large windows along the outermost wall. Bookshelves and more framed paintings were along the other walls, even a few shiny sculptures were here and there. 

I didn't have to look far to find Adler, she sat directly in front of me at a huge mahogany desk as I entered the room, a book grasped between one of her hands. 

"Ah, hello Miss Feldt, thank you for coming along today," her voice was oddly warm now as she looked up at my arrival. "You're dismissed," Adler gave a curt nod to the two guards. "Yes, Frau Obersturmbannführer," they saluted in response, before quickly departing. 

"I suppose you're wondering why I asked for you? Do you mind if I take a little of your time, Kristin?" I started at her use of my first name, as I stood awkwardly in the centre of what must have been the most elaborate office I'd even set foot in. 

"Er, no, Obersturmbannführer Adler." Addressing her felt strange, I wasn't used to such stringent titles. I felt myself wither internally in fear, everything about her was so menacing, even her title was. 

"Oh, forgive me," Adler chuckled, her voice softening with her laughter, "Let me ask, do you prefer Kristin or another version?" 

"I don't mind, either way," I replied, caught off guard by Adler's friendliness. Was this a kind of trap? 

"Very well Kristin. Well, just to clarify, you may call me Frau Adler when not in public, understood?" her voice had become more serious, for a moment. 

"Yes, Frau Adler," I replied, aware that she was being a little too comfortable for our first meeting. Was she always so charming? 

"Take a seat, Kristin. We have some things to discuss." I took a few shaky steps towards the seat, before carefully lowering myself onto the chair. Adler remained sitting at her desk, the book still in her hand. 

"So, Kristin, do remember this?" She held the book in her grasp over to me, allowing me to view the pages she had been gazing at. I stared for a moment, then gasped, recognizing my own sketches, which I had drawn in the very same notebook two nights ago. 

"Oh," I said, foolishly, lost for words. Why did Adler have this notebook? 

"You left this behind at the Transfer Campus. For just a notebook, it's got some fine sketches within it. I find your style quite impressive, especially within your paintings." She raised an eyebrow at me, smirking at my surprised expression. 

"Er, thank you," I stuttered, almost feeling proud of myself for gaining an influential fan, but feeling far too terrified to enjoy the moment to its fullest. 

"It's a pity that you have been prevented from continuing on with your paintings," Adler continued, placing the notebook down on her desk. She clasped her hands together assertively, leaning forward to scrutinize me. 

"You see, I had a read of the files of your group, but yours caught my attention. I was intrigued by the situation of your relatives, namely concerning your Uncle and cousins." 

"Oh," I replied glumly. Where was Adler going with this? 

"As you know, we've placed a high priority on ensuring that people who are required to be placed within a facility such as this one, go through with the process. And when your cousins were unable to be found, well, it was obvious they had fled the enforcers of the law. It's illegal and they've put themselves at a higher risk of persecution. And they've put that risk on you also. Unless it was a risk you willingly took part in?" She was accusing me of having a hand within my cousin's disappearance-great, I fumed, internally. 

"No, I had no involvement with Markus and Sara not being found. I didn't know they were being looked for, or were even required to go to a campus. Even though they were Jewish, I have never been Jewish. I don't understand why I'm here." I was getting sick and tired of being treated like a criminal. 

"Very well. But we are looking into this case with our resources. They will be found," Adler said pointedly, her eyes glinting determinedly. This woman's determination was unnerving. "Also, the system is designed to cut out any risks from society, and according to our system, you are a risk, being associated with Jews." 

I was silent, not trusting myself to respond civilly. Their system was a blight on humanity, I raged, fuming as I remembered the young man being beaten by one of Adler's guards earlier that morning. 

"You'll do well to remember what I told you this morning, Kristin, keep in line and show respect to your superiors." 

"Yes," I replied, feeling disheartened at her reminder. 

"Now that we've discussed that topic, I'd like to mention something else to you." 

"Yes?" I asked, curious as to her next move. 

"As I was saying earlier, it's a pity that you're unable to continue on with your works. I've seen some of your pieces before in a collective exhibition involving Stuttgart's established artists, I remembered who you were when I read your file." 

"Thank you," I said, realizing that perhaps her liking of my art would lead her to be a little more lenient on me. I laughed nervously. 

"I never would have known you'd seen my works, Frau Adler." 

"Well, during my few leisure hours I have a variety of things I willingly spend my time enjoying. Art is just one of them," she laughed at my astonishment again, leaning back in her seat, eyeing me carefully. Her eyes were an icy grey, I suddenly realized, a part of me secretly shaking my head at how stereotypically Aryan she was. 

"I have an offer for you," she stated casually, still watching me with her assertive gaze. I straightened myself in my chair, at these words. An offer? Was she going to let me out of this place? 

"My offer, Kristin, is as follows. I want you, to create a portrait of me, in that style of yours. In return, I'll give you a space of your own, away from the rest of your previously assigned group." Adler watched my reaction, gauging my response as I sat there for a moment, my mind going into overdrive. This wasn't what I was expecting. 

"Er, you're sure you want me to create the portrait, not someone else?" I was confused by her request, but had no time to dwell on the unusualness of the situation. 

"Yes. There have been other artists through this facility of course, and plenty out of confinement. But I like your style and I want to see myself reflected within it. I want you to do it, so will you?" 

"Well I'm flattered. I think so... I mean, yes, yes I will." My surprise turned into resoluteness. I couldn't possibly pass up an offer like this. A chance like this to get away from whatever fate was ahead of me in the floors below was worth reaching out to. I could tell that this was a probably a one-time offer, Adler was a woman who was used to receiving answers quickly and moving on to other matters once an answer was given. 

"Good. I'm glad that's all settled," she smiled smugly, knowing that I had very few options other than agreeing to her terms anyway. "Naturally, you'll be given all the equipment you need. If you require anything else, all you need to do is inform us and it will be done for you. I'll see you back here tonight, I'd like us to start the portrait then." 

"Okay, that will be very helpful. I appreciate it," I didn't know what to think, this opportunity was a chance to live a little more comfortably; maybe I would avoid going to a camp after all. I was afraid to think those thoughts, knowing that it could lead to nothing but false hope. 

"I don't really know what to say, really, Frau Adler," I decided to be frank with Adler, for just a moment, to show some kind of thanks one way or another. 

"Well, saying yes is a good start. We have reached a mutual understanding, so remember to keep to it. I'm sure the portrait will be of your usual high quality. And for now, I'll keep this notebook here. You can access it later on. You'll return to your group until this evening. Until then, keep this arrangement quiet when it comes to anyone from the group, understood?" she placed a hand on her desk and pressed a small button. 

"Yes, Frau Adler," I agreed, as the door opened and a single guard came in from outside, realizing he must have been summoned by the button. 

"Excellent. I'll see you this evening," she watched as I stood. 

"See you then," I nodded, turning to walk towards the door. 

"Please escort Miss Feldt back to Area Twelve, will you, Hans?" 

"Yes, Frau Obersturmbannführer," he answered quickly, before leading me out of Adler's office and back down to the area I had been in previously. 

3. 

For the rest of the day our group was informed of the rules and terms of the facility, before being directed to their allocated work areas. Some were told they'd be working in the transport yard, myself among them, while others were sorted into the repair force, where they would be working with machinery, buildings and the like. 

I was taught the basics of examining vehicles and carrying out basic assessments of the condition of the various transport buses. At six o'clock, we were called in, along with about three hundred other inmates and directed to the food bay, where we were served up steaming bowls of bland mash from huge steel pots, manned by uniformed food attendants. 

The meal was disgusting and the watered down mash tasted vaguely like thinned potato if anything at all. Each mouthful went down in watery lumps. There was very little chatter among the inmates, I found that two thirds of everyone here were men, the other third being women. A few exhausted looking people had bandages wrapped over their eyes or around their hands, probably from accidents working, or beatings from the guards. 

Guards watched us from the isles between the long tables, and from the metal platform above us, which ran around the walls of the room. All throughout the training I had received for the vehicles earlier that day and through the dinner, I could think of nothing but the fact that I had been asked to paint a portrait of an SS officer. A person who had played a huge part in determining how people's lives would change, and who had been indirectly and directly involved with sending people to camps where they would die. 

My stomach churned, as I tried to stomach my meal, knowing I would need energy and sustenance for the evening ahead. I expected it would be draining, trying to do my best to stay calm as I began a portrait of a ruthless individual who could have me killed on the spot if she so wished. I found my knuckles had gone white around the spoon as I tried to finish the last mouthfuls of my meal. 

The realization had hit me, that I had to try and survive now, even though I didn't know what would happen when I had finished the portrait of Adler. I dreaded to think of what other options I had for self-preservation after that. There was no time left to prepare for what awaited me, I realized, as a guard approached me not long after I had finished my meal. 

I had stood, hearing him tell me that I had been asked for, gathering my last strains of calmness. It was time, I thought, time to prove myself in order to survive. Not long after I had left the food bay, I found myself walking into Adler's office through the open door, the guard waiting outside. 

"Hello again Kristin," Adler welcomed me into her office, with a smile, hearing my footsteps approaching her office. "You may close the door." 

I stretched my arm out and pushed the door shut, noticing the tremor of shakes in my hand. Adler was standing in front of the fireplace at the other end of the room. She wore her uniform as usual, opting for the official, formal look of her military attire for the portrait. 

"Hello, how are you this evening, Frau Adler?" I asked, suddenly feeling a little more comfortable in her presence. Somehow I felt that for now, she was offering me a chance of safety, and strangely, I appreciated her just a little for that. 

"Well thank you," Adler replied, turning to face me, a curious look on her face as she deduced from my tone that I was a little friendlier. "And you? I trust the day kept you occupied?" 

"I'm well thank you. And yes, today was quite busy," I looked around at the room, remembering the events of the long day. 

"Well, at least for you, you'll have other things to focus on from now onwards." 

"I suppose so," I murmured, trying to fight back flashes of blood on snow. I didn't want to think about it. Adler took a few steps towards me, seeing my solemn expression as lingered in front of me. Slowly, she reached out and placed her hand firmly on my upper arm, meeting my surprised gaze with her calm silver eyes. 

"Follow me, I'll show you where your equipment has been set up," her hand disappeared as she walked away, over to the fireplace, opening the door beside it, beckoning for me to follow her. I couldn't see what was on the other side of the door, but I moved through into the next room, as she closed the door behind us, entering just behind me as I stared in wonder at the room I had found myself in. 

A hefty easel held a large canvas, with a carved, oak seat placed in front of it, where I knew Adler would sit. A huge table was positioned in the middle of the room, with large amounts of paint tubes and fine brushes neatly arranged according to colour and size. I stepped over to the table, carefully examining a tube of paint, smiling as I saw that it was an expensive, top of the range pigment paint which I hadn't used often, due to the price. At a closer glance, I could identify the brushes as being premium quality horsehair bristles. I was impressed. 

"I hope you find the quality to your liking," Adler said, walking slowly around the room to sit down on the elaborate chair. I looked over to her, grinning despite myself. "Well?" she chuckled, raising an eyebrow proudly. 

"You've definitely found some excellent quality equipment," I acknowledged, feeling a lot better about my decision to go through with Adler's portrait. 

"Of course, Kristin," she smirked, knowing full well how valuable the paint and brushes were. "Better materials means a better portrait, correct?" 

"More or less," I mused, placing the tube of paint back and grasping a large sketchbook and several sketching pencils. 

"Alright. I think it would be best to start with sketching your face at different angles. Doing so will allow me to become more familiar with your features and give me a chance to gain more of an understanding of your aura." 

"Very well, do what you need to do. I would like to know all about my aura," Adler laughed, almost mockingly. I ignored her lack of consideration of the valuable emotional representation within art. 

"Would you like a more formal kind of portrait, Frau Adler? Or perhaps something a little more expressive?" 

"Formal would be much more suitable," she replied. "I want anyone who sees it to be aware of the power and strength of my authority." I considered trying to encourage her to show a little more of her personality, but decided against it, realized that her strength and authority was all there was to her. 

"We'll go with that aspect for sure," I answered, as I pulled the seat behind the easel over to her until we were about two steps away from each other. 

As I began to sketch her, I realized that she was not a subject that would simply direct their gaze in another direction. Her eyes sought out mine as I would look up at her, scanning and judging her features, before continuing to put pencil to paper. I was unnerved to say the least. 

She seemed incredibly intense up close, her eyes piercing through me without pause and I knew it was because of her strength and coldness that I was terrified to be so close to her. I attempted to ignore her burning eye contact, even as my heart raced in my chest. Think of something to say, dammit, I thought to myself, racking my brains for a way to end this silence. 

"You know, had you not had distinctly Aryan intelligence and features, Kristin, I think you might not be here now." I looked up at her, shocked by her words. However, I knew she was right. For the sake of a distraction from her gaze I thought about how to respond. 

"Why, because I'd have been more surely convicted with assisting my cousins?" I asked, thinking through how I had made it so far. 

"Yes. You see, had I not remembered your art, I think your situation would be much graver than it is now," she paused thoughtfully. "I hadn't ever met you until today, you know. But your paintings sufficed to make me think highly enough of you to give you a chance to finally paint a portrait of me." 




Acceptance of Denial



"Had you always wanted one, by me, I mean?" I asked, wondering how long she'd appreciated my art for. 

"Yes. Ever since I'd seen your works at the exhibit, but I've always been so busy, so I never opted to contact you. When I saw your name in the files of future inmates, I thought it would offer up a chance." 

"I was still doubtful if you were definitely the artist I had remembered of course, so I asked for that notebook to be given to you, during your time at the Stuttgart Transfer Campus." 

"Why?" I asked, dumbfounded. 

"Simply because of my curiosity I suppose. I wanted to be sure it was you and I didn't want to have you transferred under my watch to somewhere... Else. I didn't want to miss my chance. I was impressed by your unpolished sketches alone, once the notebook was returned to me, and I knew it was you for sure after that point. Your skills and techniques with those sketches were easily recognizable. Even as you stood in the group this morning, I could guess who you were by your visual description in your official personal files." 

"Well... I don't know what I'm supposed to think about this." I said, feeling apprehensive. She'd had her eye on me for a while. 

"Think what you will. But let me tell you this. I may have given you time, offered you a chance to avoid some of what goes on here, but if it's discovered that you had any involvement with your cousin's... Unavailability, I'll have no choice but to organize for you to be dealt with in the required way." 

"Yes, Frau Adler. And for what it's worth, I can appreciate what you've done for me so far," a little bit of gratitude couldn't hurt, I decided. 

"Hmm," she murmured, watching me still, as she stood up suddenly. I looked up at her, watching as she loomed me slowly, a distant part of me compared her to a prowling animal. She moved around beside me, and I sensed a bizarre stillness settle in the room for a moment. Something had changed, but what it was, I couldn't tell. 

Adler stood perfectly still, both of us aware of how she had breached my personal space, just an arm's reach away. Then she moved, the weight of her hand resting on my shoulder, her fingers gently beginning to knead the fabric of my jacket. "Wha-?" I tried to stutter, every cell in me screaming for me to lurch out of her grip, paralysing fear rising up in me like bile. 

What was going on, I wondered. I found I was unable to move, uncertain how to flee from her clutches, as she lifted the sketchbook out of my lap and lowered it onto the seat where she had been just moments ago. I even frantically considered punching her but realized she could put a bullet in me in any moment, with the firearm at her side. Trying to escape would have been useless and got me killed in the end. Her other hand grasped my other shoulder as she pulled me to my feet. I looked down at her, pure shock showing on my face as her eyes bored into mine. 

"Do you want this?" she asked, her voice a breathy whisper, her hot breath somehow enthralling, while her hands swiftly moved from my shoulders to my arms as she held me close. 

"God," I choked, failing to hide my obvious trepidation, what I could I possibly want? 

"I know," she said, voice searing and heavy as if she had read my thoughts. "I know all about your tendencies. Your report has them all... Included." 

I stared at her, my protests dying in my throat, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts. She must have known all along. Why hadn't she had me sent to a camp then, I thought numbly, knowing the punishment for being a gay woman in these times. "I don't... I can't," I breathed, trying to pull out of her grasp, this had to be some kind of sick trap. 

"Don't deny yourself this Kristin..." Adler's arms were strong and determined, yet somehow a part of me prayed she wouldn't let go, even through the strangling fear. 

"I... No," I garbled, unable to get the words out, Adler's body was so warm and solid, even through the thick uniform. I tried to look away but her gaze burned through into my mind, blazing and smouldering away though my refusal.  

Truth was I hadn't been in a relationship or even with a woman for at least a year. Part of the fear I had been feeling the entire time since I had been here was if someone were to find out about my inclination towards women. But now it was too late to do anything, and I felt within myself the certainty that there was no going back now, not with Adler and not with my life-this could end my very existence. 

Despite her terrifying presence I had been attracted to her from the very first time I had seen her earlier that day, as much as I had tried to ignore it. Her maturity and dominance was petrifying but stirred some kind of warped admiration within me, as I was torn between loathing her and wanting to obey her. The way she was like a cold, untouchable sculpture had only made me want her more, made me want to tear away her gun, uniform and badges, to see the real her. It had brought out a frightening longing to see her vulnerable, to understand this woman and see why she had become a hand of misery, a tyrant and oppressor of human nature. 

"Let it go," she murmured, almost pleading, her words ensnared within short gasps. Her eyes softened and she leaned into me, her lips pressing in on mine so gently that I almost didn't feel her. She could see the hesitation in my eyes while I fought back the urge to moan as she pulled back slightly, watching me with hooded eyes. 

"Yes," I whispered, my voice almost lost in the sound of our mingled breaths. 

"Hmm?" she moaned, as she arched up against me, her fingers sliding along my back, pressing and squeezing firmly. 

"Yes, I do want it," I sighed, admitting the unavoidable truth, looking down at her to see the understanding appear in her eyes. 

"Thank God," she replied, as I stopped trying to push her away, grasping her instead, enjoying the feel of her uniform against my fingers. 

This was so sick and so wrong, a part of me screamed at myself, but I couldn't help what I was feeling with Adler right now. She could have me killed in a moment, and everything she stood for was evil, but my conscience was gone, there was no more reason, no more thought. There was just Adler's touch, lips and moans as I lost all contact with reality. 

I closed my eyes and kissed her, quietly at first, then a little harder as she responded, running her tongue along my lower lip, tasting and savouring me. My heart raced in my chest, half in fear, half in aroused excitement, as I felt myself giving in, giving myself up for her, not caring what the future held for the first time in over three days. 

I didn't know where this was going, how far she would go, but I sensed that this was somehow not a game, but something more raw than I could bear to comprehend at the time. She was risking her position and reputation, and I was risking my life, but somehow the risks only added to the sincerity of what we were doing. What would be the point of any of this if it didn't mean something to the two of us in our own way? 

As our kiss deepened, I began to guide her gently over to the table, so the two of us had some kind of leverage, we each shook so much that I thought either or both of us would collapse. When her hip nudged the table, Adler flung her arm out and held herself up against me, her hand bracing the edge of the table. Wordlessly, I grasped the waistline of her jacket, where an assortment of leather buckles held her jacket in, and ran my fingers over the shining metal of the clasps. 

Looking up at me, she grasped my right hand, holding it still in her warm grasp, before slowly placing it against the buckles, silently granting me permission to undo the clasps. I kissed her again, slowly and firmly in appreciation of her willingness, as I began to blindly fumble with the first clasp, undoing it after a few seconds. The next clasp followed after a moment, and by the third, I knew exactly how to unfasten them quickly. 

Now, it was obvious that she was still armed, but I had lost contact with the logical part of my brain, which would remind me later on how this could have gotten me killed. Despite Adler initiating this turn of events, I would come to realize how dangerous things were in this circumstance, reacting readily to her advances. At the time though, I didn't care about the sidearm within her reach, she could have shot me and I wouldn't have been able to stop for the life of me. Despite the revulsion I had felt only moments before I had given in, I didn't even consider grabbing her gun and killing her either, even with my earlier urges. It was strange how things could change so quickly. 

Adler sighed against my mouth, knowing she was one step closer to greater pleasure, as I pulled away to lift the harness over and off her shoulders. I moved on to the large solid belt just above her hips, tugging against the thick leather for a moment, knowing she could feel it underneath her uniform. She writhed against the movement, her breath catching as I teased her, before I undid the buckle of the belt and leisurely slid it out from around her waist before tossing it somewhere on the table. 

The final obstacle around her waist was the belt fastening her sidearm, which glinted metallically at me from her hip. For a moment I felt a sudden hesitance tremor through me, until I felt the warmth of Adler's soft hand as she directed mine towards the buckle of the belt, entrusting me with removing the ominous object from her. 

This was the tipping point, we both knew, where one of us could grasp the weapon and end everything for the other. Adler watched me as I warily slid the belt out from her waist and grasped the holster, bit by bit, until it was free from her. I tossed it away then, hearing it come to a thudding rest at the other end of the table. I dared not look at the gun, caught in the fiery gaze of Adler's astonishingly intense eyes. 

We seemed to have gone beyond some kind of barrier then, knowing that the threat of her weapon was no longer existent. Adler grasped me by the front of my jacket, her eyes blazing with something I couldn't describe, as I pulled back, unable to break her gaze. Slowly, I delved my fingers underneath the seam of her jacket, to the fastener on her pants. Pausing to search her eyes and face for any sign of hesitation or reluctance, I waited until she nodded slowly in encouragement. At this sign I loosened the fastener, the zipper following moments after, the slight, unmistakable sound reaching both our ears. 

I knelt down, until I was level with the spotlessly shiny boots which extended up to the base of Adler's knees. I tugged gently at her right boot, removing it swiftly, then the left, sitting them carefully to the side of us at the desk. I ran my hands up and along her shins, massaging through the black material of her socks, eager to feel the softness of her skin. I raised my hands to the crest of her socks, hooking my thumb and forefinger into the fabric before pulling them down, ever so slowly, enjoying her skin being revealed so gradually. Once her socks were off her feet, I placed them to the side, along with the boots. 

Adler's breathing was shallow now, shaky breaths rising from her lips as I rose to my feet again, pulling her into a firm and long embrace as she kissed me. Her hand clasped behind my neck, holding me to her as she trembled against me, and I knew that now was the time, she couldn't take much more. 

I wrapped my hands around her waist, my fingers slipping into her pant's waistband, pulling outwards and testing the tightness of them. Adler lifted herself up, knowing that her pants would be next to slide off her toned body, submitting as I slid her pants downwards. Once they were free of her hips, she kicked down the trousers, kissing me desperately as I began to pull away. 

I bent down again, kneeling at her feet as I ran my hands along the smooth pale skin of her calves, then her thighs, massaging away the tightness within them. Adler closed her eyes, chest rising and falling rapidly, her breathing heavy and laboured. My head was about level with the apex of her thighs, only inches away from her panties, at the centre of which there was a glistening patch of wetness. I could smell her now, the scent of her excitement strong and intoxicating, and in that moment, I was lost. I leaned in and gently pressed my nose against the fabric, nibbling and pressing gently through the material, as Adler moaned and whimpered. Her hand sought out my head, her fingers twirling in my hair, encouraging me to continue, to press deeper. 

I ran the tip of my tongue along the centre of her panties, moaning at the taste of her, even through the fabric she was heavenly. I couldn't hold back any longer, my resolve was collapsing inside my thudding chest, this was almost too much for me to handle. I slid my fingers into the elastic band of her panties and pulled them downwards, slipping them off completely when she raised her hips off the desk. I tugged at them once more and they slithered down her thighs and calves, only to fall in a crumpled pile on the floor. 

I could see her soft, delicate folds, glistening with wetness and kneeled in, taking a long, slow lick from the base upwards, feeling her tangy juices on my tongue as I worked my way up and down her length. Adler writhed above me, whimpering as my hot breath radiated against her core, while my tongue continued its slow, gentle exploring, seeking out every curve, every crevice of her outer lips, carefully avoiding her clit. I wanted to save that for a moment. 

I leisurely delved in beyond her outer layer, my tongue stroking her inner lips, memorising the shape and silky texture of her sweltering flesh. She cried out as I eased my tongue in, further then, pressing in against her tightness, feeling her contract and squeeze against me, more of her juices coating my tongue. I slid out suddenly, to her vague disappointment, giving one more slow, long lick against her length, before seeking out her clit, finding the delicate button after another moment of exploring. 

She whimpered against my tongue, her body shaking under my hands, which remained against her thighs, massaging her tense muscles through her arousal. I could see how much she responded to my touch against her clit, she seemed so pent up and I wondered if she had found release recently. I didn't want to rush her enjoyment, so I backed off from her clit, returning to her inner depths instead. I explored her depths again, intoxicated by her juices, which I lapped up thirstily, not wanting to miss a single drop. 

My tongue probed along her walls, swirling and pressing against her from an endless variety of angles, as I sought out her sweet spots, discovering the places that made her whimper or catch her breath or freeze up her muscles. She leaned forward, her breath hissing through her teeth, a moan reverberating in her throat, as I swivelled my tongue swiftly within her, making contact with a group of sensitive areas. 

"Oh God," she moaned, looking down at me with wide, glazed eyes, her lips moist and ever so slightly apart in wonder. In that moment we held that gaze, my tongue still buried in her as deep as I could go. When I swiftly returned to fluttering her clit, she shuddered again closing her eyes. I increased my pace, wanting her to feel the rush of release; be overpowered by the feelings radiating from within her. 

"Oh... Oh God. Oh yes..." She shook and trembled, her moans turning to a stream of whimpers as I assaulted her clit relentlessly, feeling a rush of something approaching her, knowing she would be washed away in a moment. I licked her ceaselessly until she cried out uncontrollably, drifting away from the present time and I was almost carried along with her. I held back my own climax so I could see her unfurl and dissipate above me, absorbed in her pleasure and emotion. I was so close that had I even faintly brushed my clit through the fabric of my pants I'd have let go then and there. 

She shook and trembled, a panting, beautiful mess of strength and vitality, crumbling under her own humanity as the sensations of euphoria overwhelmed her state of mind. I watched her, possessed by seeing her come undone, momentarily comparing her to a stone sculpture bursting into shrapnel. She was no longer the cold stone of military representation that she had seemed to be before she had revealed her true self, I thought, as I watched her unwind and levitate before me. 

She collapsed on the table, arms splayed out to her sides in a state of sheer and all consuming bliss, her nectar flooding my eager mouth. I continued to hold her, massaging the rigidity out of her thighs and calves throughout her release as I licked against her length, prolonging her enjoyment for as long as possible. 

We stayed there for I don't know how long, as I listened to her breathing gradually steady and slowed my strokes, knowing that soon she would be too sensitive to touch in that area. I remained on my knees at her feet, dimly becoming aware of the ache in my knees and the ceaseless throb in my own panties. 

"Mmm," she murmured, slowly propping herself up on her elbows, her jacket still on her, if a little scruffy by now, she still looked slightly military. "That was... Something," she whispered, still sounding a little dazed by the entire experience. I steadied myself by placing my hands on the carpeted floor and pushing myself up. I took a weak and shaky step towards the table, leaning against it beside her, as I helped Adler sit up beside me. She grinned at me, but I couldn't smile back somehow. What happens now, I thought? Adler could see I looked worried, and couldn't meet her eyes. 

"Hey..." she whispered, soothing me as I looked away in disbelief at the situation. She rested a merciful hand on my shoulder, and I turned to face her then, seeing the concern in her eyes. 

"Don't be afraid. It seems so strange, doesn't it?" she murmured, her hand moving to fondly cup my cheek. 

"I understand..." she whispered, her once icy eyes, regarding me compassionately. All I could do was look into her eyes, I didn't know what to say, and I think she understood that. For a while we stayed there, saying nothing, Adler with her arm around me, her head resting on my shoulder. 

Strangely, I burst into laughter, shaking gleefully as Adler looked up at me, clearly startled. 

"I never would have guessed..." I giggled, turning to her and running my hands over the Adler's creased jacket, fondly straightening what remained of her disarrayed outfit. 

"You never know," she replied, smiling along with me. I grasped her hand in mine, tenderly running my thumb over her knuckles as I looked at her directly. 

"Do you still want me to continue with your portrait, Frau Adler?" I asked, cautiously, not knowing what would happen after this. 

"Of course!" Adler said, clearly taken aback. "I want you to stay, Kristin, please believe me." I could hear the sincerity in her words and felt the distantly familiar warm rush of trust in my chest. I needed time to think through it all, but I was beginning to understand what all of this meant. I blinked away my surprise, touched by her honesty, knowing her words to be true. 

"And by the way, call me Erika from now on, when we're in private like this." There would be another time then? My heart leapt at the possibility of future occasions like this with Adler. 

"Erika? That's a fine name, SS-Obersturmbannführer Erika Adler," I said, testing her name on my tongue, sampling it, as Erika inclined herself towards me, still laughing quietly as our lips met.