0 comments/ 82234 views/ 32 favorites A Tale of Two Cousins By: fantasyhunter2 Authors Note: This story includes descriptions of both homosexual and heterosexual liaisons between first cousins. If you find either gay male sex or incest objectionable you should try another story. * It was March and I was on top of the world. I was in my second year of college and had finally adjusted to life outside the cocoon of growing up protected and comfortable under the care of my loving parents. Some would say that I was smothered in my childhood. I prefer to look at as being showered in love. How much my closeness to my parents contributed to me being a late bloomer is debatable in my mind. Others seem more convinced that I was babied and over protected. Some even insisted that was the reason that what they called a handsome hunk was still a virgin four months short of his twenty-first birthday. I can't really lay all the blame for my awkward shyness at the feet of my parents. I knew them and what they tried to get me to be. What dating I did in high school was almost entirely due to their encouragement. My freshmen year at college away from their constant prodding actually resulted in me being less social. I just never felt what I assumed other guys felt. My body had matured normally, but it seemed my libido didn't follow suit. I was eighteen before I discovered masturbation and that was more accident than exploration. One morning I awoke early, over an hour before my alarm. My cock was so hard that it actually hurt. Looking back I think it was likely that I was in the middle of a wet dream. Because of the discomfort I pushed my pajamas down and began to rub my dick in the hope of relieving the situation. That was how I had my first waking orgasm. Admittedly it was an eye opening experience. I soon was intently repeating the scene on a regular basis. Still I didn't really connect the pleasure I was getting from masturbation to dating girls. Of course I knew all about sex. It was taught at intervals in the schools and my parents were very open and forthcoming about almost everything. My father even explained oral sex and other alternative ways to get and give sexual pleasure. Those conversations were for the most part excruciating for me. Things began to change during the summer between my first and second years of college. Me and my best friend since kindergarten, Jack went on a 30 day backpacking adventure in Europe. He was also a nerdy late bloomer when we started college that seemed to have started rapidly blooming that freshman year. Though he was still technically a virgin when we set out on our trip, he had many sexual experiences to regal me with. He went into great detail about the different techniques employed by the three chicks that had sucked his cock that year. His description of eating pussy made it seem like the nectar of the gods flowed from between a girl's legs. A guy would have to have been dead not to be aroused by his tales. For the first week of the trip I managed to find private places to jerk off to relieve the need his stories created. However, one night we needed up sharing a very small room. It was only slightly larger than my closet at home. The bathroom was shared dormitory style and offered no privacy at all. The town we were in was a beach town in southern France. My friend went into great detail discussing what he would like to have done with the nearly naked girls we saw sun bathing that day. The more he talked the more images of the first bare tits I had ever seen live came vividly back to me. My cock grew hard and began to demand attention as he went on and on about sucking their tits and ripping off their skimpy bottoms to lick their pussies. I decided that the only hope was to wait until he was asleep and then jerk off in the dark. But he didn't seem like he was ever going to stop fantasizing out loud about hot French babes. At some point I looked over his way and saw that he was rubbing his own hard cock threw his underwear. "I hope this doesn't bother you, man. All those bare tits got me going. We can't fucking use the bathroom, it is like grand fucking central in there." "Um er, I guess not. I was trying to figure what to do about it myself." "Shit, we've been friends too long to be shy," He said and pushed his underwear down. Suddenly I was staring at the only hard cock other than my own I had ever seen. He looked over at me as he started stroking. "Well, aren't you going to beat it?" I felt like I really didn't have much choice and there was nothing to lose anyway. He couldn't say anything since he had started the action. I pushed the gym shorts I was wearing down and began to pump my throbbing cock. Since he continued looking my way, I didn't bother to avert my gaze away from his cock. As we jerked off in our separated beds we chatted nervously about the girls on the beach and how much we wanted to fuck them. Soon both of us had little puddle of cum on our bellies. He wiped off on his sheets and I followed his lead. Then he got up and turned off the light. We went to slept in the nude without any discussion of what we had done. The next day we took a train to Italy. The long ride gave me a lot of time to think. I thought of what we had talked about and the girls on the beach and his hard cock. The thing was even though I had talked about the girls and their tits and pussies and wanting to fuck them so badly, I didn't truly feel that desire deep down. I liked jerking off, but I still couldn't translate that into wanting to bring another person into the equation. It seemed simpler to just masturbate. Jerking off with my friend added a new wrinkle that I wasn't sure how to interpret. A few days later we found ourselves in another situation that offered no privacy. Jack just came right out and asked me if I was in the mood. The next thing I knew we were naked and laying in our side-by-side beds jerking off. Neither of us attempted to hide that we were watching each other. But what ever thoughts we had that night we kept to ourselves. I assume that we would have continued jacking off together if not for a momentous occurrence. Jack lost his virginity to a very mature Italian woman he met on the train from Naples to Venice. I spent our two days in Venice sightseeing alone while he fucked his temporary Italian mistress day and night. Though he never admitted to knowing her real age I was certain that she was at least forty maybe more. The idea of fucking a woman not much younger than my mother creeped me out a bit. We spent our last week in Greece and I avoided discussing sex with Jack. Fortunately all of our accommodations that week offered private bathrooms. Jack and I have never spoken since about those two nights. But I thought about them a lot. I also thought a lot about the European women we met and ogled as well as Jack's Venetian lover. Those thoughts led me to consider the idea that fucking might be more pleasurable than jerking off. I dated some more that fall and even managed to both get my first blow job and my first taste of pussy. The girl was not very enthusiastic about cock sucking. She seemed to treat it like a chore she was obligated to do after a few dates. In addition, her pussy definitely did not ooze sweet nectar as Jack had led me to believe. It was a pleasant enough experience and we repeated it a couple of times before we mutually agreed our relationship wasn't meant to be. That is one reason I was still a virgin on the most fateful day of my life. The other was that despite taking the next step on the journey of sexual discovery I wasn't really sure what I desired. My shy awkwardness had vanished. I had no trouble talking to girls or making dates. I was pretty sure that if I really wanted to I could get a girl to sleep with me. But that was the rub. I just didn't seem to want it bad enough to make it happen. At the same time I didn't really want anything else either. Some might say I was confused, but the fact was I really just thought jerking off was easier than going through the whole dating ritual to get an orgasm when they we were easy enough to come by on my own. The only thing that troubled me at all that spring was the occasional thought of Jack stroking his cock next to me while I jerked off. I didn't really know what to make of that. In the end none of that much mattered because my world came crashing down on March 18th. I am still not sure how I survived the phone call from my Uncle Frank and the days that followed. My parents had been in a freak car accident. They were in the hospital and my aunt was on her way to get me. By the time I got home, my father had died and my mother was in a deep coma. I said goodbye to her silent sleeping body as they removed her respirator two days later. Shock had already set in and I was in a kind of waking coma. I don't remember actually signing the paper that appointed Uncle Frank my representative and gave him power of attorney to settle all of my parent's affairs. I never returned to school. Someone else went to pack up my dorm room and handle the paper work to have me withdrawn. After the funeral, my mother's sister, Aunt Cecelia took me home to her farm halfway across the country. Uncle Frank, my father's brother liquidated my parent's property and established a trust fund that would support me for life over the next few weeks. Only a few very personal things were kept for me. Those were stored away until I was able to handle memories. I didn't know any of this was happening for almost six months. It didn't occur to me to ask and no one thought I was of a mind to make decisions. They had been my world and they were gone was all I knew. Aunt Cecelia and her husband, James were good people that owned a small farm in a very rural area. They had an eighteen year old daughter, Mary and a son, Roger about a year older than me. They were happy and comfortable but they did not have anywhere near the financial means of my parents. Their farmhouse was small and there wasn't really any extra room for me. But everyone thought I was better off being away from where I grew up and all my other relatives lived in that area. Uncle Jim had worked hard while his wife was away to fashion a private space for me. He had taken an alcove off the living room that had been Aunt Cecelia's sewing area and curtained it off. He even changed the paint and wall decorations so that it looked manlier. I am not sure if I made a face when I saw where I would be living but he quickly reacted to what he thought was my disappointment. "Don't worry, Bill, I plan to get a wall and door built soon. There just wasn't enough time since your...oh well just don't worry," He said stumbling over his words. "It is fine, Uncle Jim. Please don't go to any more trouble over me," I said hoping I hadn't insulted him. That was when Roger piped in. "This is silly. Billy and I have been sharing a room on visits since we was born. We can still share. That is if you don't mind, Billy. I think my room is big enough to get another bed into it," He said hopefully. "That sounds good," I replied in the flat tone that had become my standard way of speaking. "Come on, let's take your stuff up. We can haul the bed up later." We each grabbed a suitcase and I followed him up the stairs. His room was adequate, but seemed much smaller than I remembered. As I stood there thinking about squeezing another bed into the room, I remembered that I was much smaller the last time that I was there and so was his bed. Our last two visits had been at my house. Since it had been three years since our back and forth visits came to and end, I figured I hadn't been in that room since I was about thirteen. He had also traded in his twin beds for what looked to be an extra long queen bed. Considering he had grown to several inches over six feet the larger bed was probably a must. "Rog, I appreciate you offering to share your room, but if you put another bed in here you won't be able to turn around. I will be fine downstairs." "Bull, you don't need to be sleeping in the damn living room. Hey, I got an idea. This bed is plenty wide enough for two. We used to share a double at that beach place your parents had. It will be like the old days on vacation." The mention of my parents and the beach caused me to burst into tears. It was the first time I had cried over losing them. "Oh shit, I am sorry, I am ass for mentioning that," He said as he gathered me into his arms. I pressed my face into his shoulder and sobbed. He held me and let me cry for about a half hour. "Thank you, I think I needed that," I said without lifting my face from his shoulder. "Sharing a bed is cool, if you really don't mind. It is probably better if I don't sleep alone downstairs. Fuck it hurts Roger." "I can't even imagine, Billy. But you can count on my shoulder being here anytime you need it." "And mine too baby," Aunt Cecelia said. "I know it hurts but I promise it will get better." I looked up from Roger's shoulder and saw my red-eyed aunt standing in the doorway. I wasn't really sure what embarrassed me more: saying fuck in front of her or her seeing me in the arms of her grown son balling like a baby. She didn't mention either one. "So you two all set to bunk together?" She asked as if she hadn't heard our conversation. "Yes, ma'am," Roger said. "We thought we could make due with just the one big bed though. No reason to drag that old one up here." "Probably best, you two would hardly fit if we added another piece of furniture." It was soon dinner time. I asked to be excused from sitting at the table that evening. I wasn't hungry and the thought of a family dinner was just too much for me. After they finished dinner, I watched TV with Roger and Mary for a couple of hours. Since days on the farm start early, bedtime comes early too. Sleep was the one activity I looked forward to those first few days after my parents died. It was the only time when I managed to stop thinking about what I had lost. For some odd reason the sad thoughts did not invade my dreams. When we got up to Rogers room, I realized that there was a small issue with the bed sharing arrangement. When we were kids at the beach sharing a bed, I still wore pajamas to bed. But I hadn't owned a pair since I was a junior in high school. More often that not I slept in the nude at home. In the dorm, I wore either underwear or gym shorts to bed. My gym shorts were still at school waiting to be packed up along with the rest of my old life. I wasn't sure how comfortable it was going to be sharing a bed with a Roger while wearing only underwear. As I watched him unbuttoning his shirt, I knew I had to bring the subject up. "Um, Rog, there is something I hadn't thought about." "What's that?" "Well, when we were kids sharing a bed, I still wore pajamas." "Yeah, what's the issue?" "I don't own any pajamas anymore." "Oh, what do you sleep in?" "Um, well, underwear or nothing." "That's cool, I only wear pajamas when it is cold myself and it sure isn't cold this time of year. I think we will survive being in the same bed in our skivvies." I laughed at his choice of words. But still I felt funny about the whole thing. At that time I was mostly wearing briefs and that day for some reason I had on the briefest pair I owned. Since he said skivvies I figured him for a boxer kind of guy. "So you usually just sleep in your underwear?" I asked as I pulled my shirt over my head and he began to unzip his jeans. "Some, but lately, like you I have been going all natural at night." "Really? I always wondered if liking to sleep naked was weird or something." "If so we are both weird, cuz." For some reason I couldn't take my eyes off Roger. I felt anxious as I anticipated the lowering of his jeans. Neither of us was ever shy, so over the years we had undressed in front of each other regularly. I don't think I had ever given the idea of seeing him naked a single thought before that evening. But it seemed that the years since our last sleepover had changed my thinking. When he dropped his jeans I saw that he was wearing old fashioned tighty-whities. I also couldn't help but notice that he seemed to be rather more endowed than the last time I saw him naked. His cock really filled out the pouch of his briefs. Even though I still felt a bit of trepidation about my skimpy underwear, I had to get on with my own undressing. I was painfully aware of how odd it would be for me to stand there staring at my cousin with my pants still on. "Damn, you city boys go for the fancy undies!" He exclaimed when I stepped out of my pants. "These aren't my usual everyday underwear. I bought them when I was dating this girl that thought it would be fun to do a strip show for each other." "Damn, Billy, you been getting your knob polished and not telling me?" "If you mean did I get laid, no, I am still technically a virgin. All we did was oral a few times." "Well that is a hell of a lot more than I have done. The pick-ins are pretty slim around here. Most I ever got was a hand job and I dated that girl over a year before she would do that. Damn I have never even seen a pussy. She let me play with her titties but said below the waist was off limits. I think she thought if I got her pants off I wouldn't stop." "Yeah, well, I am not sure having a chick that will get naked with you but not let you do it isn't worse." "Maybe, but I would like to find out. So we gonna keep our balls smashed all night or are we gonna get over that queer bull shit and just let it all hang out?" "Fuck it, we are family, no reason to be all weird about a little more skin." He casually slipped off his briefs and tossed them in the hamper. When I pulled mine off, neither of us made much of a secret that we were checking each other out. We didn't talk any more that night. Even though it was clear we both had taken notice of the changes in our bodies since our last time in bed together, the subject wasn't broached. We simply crawled into our respective sides of the bed and turned our backs to each other. I soon heard the telltale change in his breathing indicating that he was asleep. I am not sure how long I remained awake listening to his soft snoring before I drifted off. I remember feeling very comforted having the warmth of his body so near by. It was almost as if he was there to protect me from some unknown danger that lurked near by. At some point in the night I awoke briefly. I suppose it was the unusual sensation I felt that invaded my slumber. Roger and I had obviously shifted around in the bed. While we were still back to back, the space between us was gone. His ass was pressed against mine and his arm was hanging down between us so that his fingers were touching my back. My first thought was to nudge him away, but I liked the way his warm bear flesh felt where it touched my skin. Again I felt comforted and so I chose to just enjoy the sensation. Oddly, I gave no thought to any sexual implications that arose from the idea of enjoying such intimate touch. When I awoke the next morning, Roger was standing across the room wearing a towel. His wet hair told me that he had been up early and was already showered. "Good morning, sleepy head," He said cheerfully when he noticed that my eyes were open. "Billy, it isn't required or anything, but if you are going to help with chores you need to get a move on." My preference was to help with whatever to keep busy. Idle time would just mean more time to dwell on my loss. But I had a little problem. As I did almost every morning, I had awoken with an erection. Normally my dick simply deflated in a minute. However, that morning, my cock was much harder than usual and no matter how hard I tried not to think about my condition it just seemed to get bigger. I couldn't imagine simply tossing aside the sheet and letting Roger see my erection. I pulled the sheet tighter around my body hoping I had my hard cock completely hidden. A Tale of Two Cousins "Um, maybe, I could catch up to you in a bit," I mumbled as he tossed off his towel. As he slipped on his underwear he gave me a good look as his impressive endowment. I supposed that my thoughts about what he looked like hard were due to my condition. That thought however, brought back memories of jerking off with Jack. "Billy, if you're worried about me seeing that morning quaker you are trying to hide under there, relax. We all get them, its no big deal. Mine was so hard this morning it hurt." Somehow his relaxed way and the knowledge that he had woken up with hard-on relaxed me. I threw the sheet off and sat up. I feet a little embarrassed when he didn't avert his gaze. "Damn, you have grown up cuz," He said playfully. "Go grab a shower so we can get down to breakfast." I looked around nervously wondering how I was supposed to get down the hall in my condition. "Its cool, Mom and Mary are downstairs in the kitchen. Dads already out setting up the milking machine." Walking down that hall, naked with my dick still halfway erect gave me one of the strangest sensations of my life. In addition to showering and brushing my teeth I took time for a quick jerk off. Even after the embarrassment of exposing my erection to Roger and my naked walk to the bathroom, my dick wouldn't go down if I didn't take care of it. The return trip with a towel around my waist was much more comfortable. Roger had apparently already gone downstairs which gave me a very welcome few minutes alone to get dressed. Before putting my clothes on I stood naked in front of the mirror over his dresser looking at my body. I am not sure why I chose that moment to notice changes in my appearance. But notice I did. I was no longer a nerdy awkward boy. I was a mature and seemingly desirable looking young man. I had hair in all the right places and not too much in the wrong places. I imagined that if I wanted to I might even be able to make a few bucks posing for revealing pictures. My aunt's calling from the bottom of the stairs wiped away my thoughts and I quickly got dressed. When I got to the kitchen, I found that both Mary and Roger had already gone out to do chores. My aunt served me the biggest breakfast I had ever seen and then told me where I would find the men. As I stepped out the back door I ran into Mary who was returning from the hen house with a basket full of eggs. I notice that she too had grown up. Even in overalls her curves were very obvious and the tee shirt and bib seemed to barely contain her growing breasts. I stopped to talk to her for just a moment as I didn't really want to be any later getting with the men to help out. The way she smiled and played with her hair made it feel like she was flirting with me. As we parted she turned toward me and made a suggestion. "All the chores should be done by lunch. Maybe after you and I can take walk so I can show you around the area." I tried to convince myself that it was just an innocent offer of kindness from my cousin, but it felt more like she was trying to get me alone. There was a definite feel of sexuality about the offer and a romantic encounter with my cousin was not something that appealed to me. I am still not sure if it was her being my cousin or just a general lack of interest in life at that point. I still found it hard to believe that fucking could be that much better than jacking off and I knew what a hassle it was having even the barest of sexual relationships with a girl. I was certain getting entangled in something with Mary would be a disaster. "Um, ok, maybe, I will have to see what your parents had in mind for the afternoon," I replied and quickly walked away. Being a city boy through and through I doubt that I was really much help with chores. But the hard work was good for me. The morning passed quickly without a single thought of my parents. By the time we got back to the house, I was ready for the big midday meal my aunt and Mary had laid out for us. Hard work meant big appetites. It also meant that you cold eat as much as you wanted and not worry about getting fat based on the evidence before me. My uncle and Roger packed away enough food for several men and they were both fit and trim. Mary and my aunt were a little more dainty but they put away more food than any city girl I knew could. They didn't have any extra fat on them either. I silently made a note to keep working along side them so that I wouldn't leave the farm in a few months with a spare tire. As the dishes were being cleared away, Mary brought up the subject of our walk. Uncle Jim interjected that since it was a light chore day he had hoped the three men could get some fishing in. He politely told Mary she was welcome to join us. He also made it clear that it was up to me whether I went fishing or sighting seeing with Mary. As my grandmother used to say, I was on the horns of a dilemma. I didn't want to hurt Mary's feelings, but I also didn't want to risk that my feelings about her motive were true. In addition, I didn't want to disappoint my uncle by rejecting his kindness. Fortunately, Mary solved the dilemma as I was trying to come up with an answer. "Well shoot, you guys go on and go fishing. It isn't everyday daddy has the time to go have some fun. Billy and I can take a walk tomorrow or the next day. There will be plenty of time to see the area. Mom and I will find something to do around the house." I decided that I was wrong about her motives and very grateful to be off the hook. As it turns out I may be the worst fisherman ever born. They took me to their favorite spot which they claimed always yielded a mess of trout. Not only was I unable to catch a single fish but they only caught three that were too small to keep between them. They of course didn't lay any blame on me, but I sure felt like it must have been my fault if they always caught fish there before. "Some days they just don't bite," Uncle Jim said as we got ready to head back to the house. "Yeah, member that time up at Ready's Creek?" Roger added. "We were there two whole days and barely had a nibble." "That was a time a son. But it is about being out relaxing enjoying the company of family anyway. Did you have fun, Bill?" "Oh, yes, thank you for bringing me out here. I am sorry about being a fishing jinx though." They laughed and assured me that there was no such thing. I wasn't entirely sure they were being truthful and if they were I was sure they were wrong. Aunt Cecelia was clearly surprised that we came home empty handed. "Well, I declare, I can't remember my men being skunked at the fishing hole in years. Bright side is I don't have to clean them smelly things, but now I got to figure what to do about supper," She said cheerfully. "Cel, I'm sure you got enough leftovers in that icebox to feed us for a week," Uncle Jim said and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "I'll find us something. Now the three of you skedaddle and get cleaned up. I ain't having no men at my table that smell like a creek." Mary giggled and the three of us dutifully marched up the stairs. With only one bathroom we had to shower assembly line style. We went from oldest to youngest. When I finished and returned to the bedroom, I was surprised to find Roger was still wearing only a towel. He was sitting on the bed reading a magazine. The loosely wrapped towel was tented at his crotch. "Hey Cuz, can I asked you something?" He said after I closed the door. "What does a tit feel like in your mouth?" "What are you reading?" I asked confused by the question. He held up a Playboy centerfold. "Oh man, that is hot!" "Even hotter close up." I took the hint and walked over next to him to get a better look at Miss February. I immediately regretted that decision. I felt really weird standing next to him in just a towel, looking down at the picture and seeing his tented towel below. "So did you ever suck on that girl's tits?" He asked in a very excited tone. "Yeah." "So what do they feel like?" "You never touched that girl's tits that gave you the hand job?" "No, she had a look but don't touch rule." "Damn, I think my girl liked her tits sucked more than having her pussy licked." "So what do they feel like?" "I don't know, skin, I guess; soft skin." "Come on, Billy!" "I'm telling you, not much different then mine, except no hair at all." I was stunned when he reached up and ran his fingers over the left side of my chest. I guess I was too stunned to react. I just stood for a minute while he felt up my chest and played with my hardening nipple. Finally, I told him to cut it out and he apologized. "Shit, sorry, I couldn't help it. Looking at this picture just made me want to touch a tit so bad. God I guess I am weird." I put my arm around him to comfort him without really thinking. "You aren't weird Rog. Everything is cool. I shouldn't have said it felt like mine, its different but hard to describe you know." "That's the thing I don't know," He said as I was noticing the heat of his flesh where our bodies were touching. "I'm sorry that I can't explain it better." "No big deal, I guess we should get dressed and go eat." As I stood up I noticed that his towel had slipped and his very hard cock was sticking out. "Um, do you want me to get dressed real quick and give you a few minutes alone?" I asked gesturing toward his large hard cock that I was having trouble taking my eyes off. "Oh shit, I'm sorry," He said but didn't cover up. "No problem, we are even sort of." "Oh yeah. Billy, you ever jerk off in front of anyone? You know like a circle jerk." I felt like we heading into dangerous territory. The only other guy who I had ever seen hard and jerked off with was Jack. I had relegated that experience to a short indulgence in curiosity due to the situation. I couldn't see Roger and I doing what Jack and I had. Actually, I wasn't sure I would be comfortable doing it with any guy at that point. Added to that was the fear that it would bring back my fantasies of touching other guy's dicks. But still I chose to be honest. I explained about the no privacy and the horniness and then asked if he had ever done it. "No, I don't have any friends close enough. But I think about sometimes. Does that make me a weirdo?" "Come on stop it. All guys think about stuff. Doesn't have to mean anything." "Would you do it with me?" A knock on the door saved me for the moment. "Mom, says to get your behinds downstairs," Mary said as she opened the door. 'Oh geez, you guys are slow." Fortunately her eyes were drawn to my bare chest and not Roger's hastily covered crotch and slowly collapsing tent. As she stood there with a hungry look in her eyes I felt like I was being judged in the county fair. "Damn, sis, you wanna get out so we can get dressed." "You boys didn't used to hide your wee-wees from me," She said with a giggle as she left the room. I flashed to a memory of us as little kids. We were out behind one of the barns playing. What we did was just innocent kids stuff. It was a game of show me yours and I'll show you mine. But I am pretty sure if Uncle Jim had caught us pulling down our pants and showing his little girl our tiny penises he would have taken a belt to our bare butts. I doubt he would have been any happier about her lifting her dress and pulling down her panties either. Up until that point it had been a forgotten memory for me. I didn't ask Roger if he remembered that day. No more was said about jerking off. We got dressed in silence and went down to supper. About an hour after supper, I gave into the tiredness brought on by the early start to the day and unaccustomed chores. I kept my underwear on and climbed into Roger's bed alone. Though I woke up when he came up a little while later, I feigned sleep. I watched him strip naked through a slit in my eyelid. He crawled into his side of the bed. Since my back was toward him I couldn't see what eh was doing. But I a few minutes the sounds I heard told me that he was jerking off. As he got more into it, the bed shock a little and his breathing became raspy. It was an unusual erotic experience for me; a kind of auditory voyeurism. I felt my cock get hard in my underwear and considered rolling over to join him. But I just couldn't do it. In a few more minutes, his stifled gasps told me that he had cum. Soon after his breathing became rhythmic. As I listened to him sleep I considered jerking off to relieve my need. But I never touched myself. I went to sleep with my hard dick still imprisoned in my briefs. The next two days were filled with chores from sunrise to sunset. There was no time for Mary to suggest a walk or for Roger and I to discuss sex or masturbation. I was grateful neither of those subjects came up. Dealing with the weight of my grief was enough to handle. I had no idea how I would deal with Mary if my suspicions about her motives were correct. I wasn't sure that I really believed fooling around with her would be such a horrible sin. She was a pretty a young women and it wouldn't be like we were going to get married and have kids. But I had been taught that incest was wrong and she was my first cousin. In Roger's case there was even more doubt. My thoughts about him were even more troubling. Thoughts of touching his dick invaded my dreams. That added another dimension to the already present taboo of incest. In the world I lived in being queer was the ultimate taboo. Even though nothing was said, I was pretty sure that Roger was wrestling with similar thoughts. Both of us kept our underwear on when we went to bed together exhausted on those nights. I am not even sure it was a conscious act on my part. Somehow having my cock covered up just seemed a safer bet. I found out that on weekends chores were light. There was always, milking and egg gathering and the like, but anything that could be put off was left for Monday. Since it wasn't yet planting time that meant when Saturday rolled around we had the whole afternoon free. Mary had hinted about the walk as she headed out to the hen house. Still not ready to face her privately, I chose to hide out in Roger's bedroom. As it happened that was a bad decision. I tried to do some reading, but the plot of the novel made me think of my parents. I was sitting lone sobbing when Roger came to check on me. "What's wrong, Billy?" He asked innocently. "I I I can't stand it, it hurts too much, Roger. Why, fucking why did they have to die?" Roger sat down next to me and gathered me in his arms. I retuned his embrace and he let me cry and vent my pain and frustration. We held onto to each other tightly, with me sobbing and cursing and him just holding me. After awhile, my sad thoughts gave way to erotic thoughts. I like being in his arms and not in a way that was acceptable to me. I lifted my face from his shoulder and looked into his eyes. My vision was blurred by tears and my eyes burned. "I am so sorry, Billy, I wish I could do something," He said in a sincerely concerned tone. All I could think of was his cock. I told myself silently that I shouldn't have those thoughts and that I wasn't queer. Unable to reconcile my thoughts I pushed away from him and ran out of the room. At the bottom of the stairs I ran into Mary. "Bill, what is wrong?" She asked sounding worried. "I was thinking about my parents and it made me sad," I semi-lied. "I'm sorry, can I do anything?" "Will you take me on that walk now?" At that point I hoped that I was right about her desires. If she wanted me, I was ready to go as far as she would allow me to go. I needed to prove to myself that I wasn't queer. If that meant fucking my cousin then that was what I was going to do. "Sure, we and go now," She said and smiled at me. We went out the back door and through the fresh turned patch of ground that would soon be the household vegetable garden. Beyond that a rickety wooden gate opened to a dirt path. To the right was an old, long dormant outhouse. My uncle had put indoor plumbing in about the same time that I was born, so I had never had to use the small outdoor john. The path to the left led to some fields that were going to be plowed and planted with corn in a few weeks. We didn't talk as we walked through the open fields. The only sounds were the crunching of old fallen cornstalks under our feet. I fought to get the picture of Roger's nude body and the sounds of him jerking off out of my head as Mary led to spot where we could easily climb the fence and enter the meadow where my uncle's sheep grazed. "Watch out, now, it is no fun stepping in sheep poop," She warned me as she took my hand to help me down off the fence. At least looking for piles of sheep shit kept my mind from wandering to less wanted thoughts. But as we passed through the field I began to wonder where she was taking. "Mary, where are we going anyway?" "Mostly, we are just walking. When I am sad I come way out because I can forget about anything in these fields. But this is also the way to special place I wanted to show you." "Oh ok, thanks, I am feeling a little better. So what is this special place?" I asked as we came to the edge of meadow. "There is a creek that was dammed up by beavers years ago back here," She explained as we entered a stand of woods. "Beavers been gone a long time, but they left a pond, which is great for swimming in the summer. Water's probably too cold to even dip our toes in today. But it is pretty back there and maybe if you're still here in the summer we can come back for a swim." I was pretty sure I will be there until at least the beginning of the next semester of college. I had no where else to go. Even though I didn't know that they had already found a buyer for my parent's house, I couldn't imagine going back there ever. When we reached the small clearing at the edge of what I would have called a small lake rather than a pond, I realized that we were completely isolated from the world. She led me over to a big rock near the waters edge and we climbed and took a seat. "It is beautiful here and so peaceful. Thank you for dragging me out here," I said as I looked across the pond. "It is my favorite place. I am so glad to have someone here with me. This time of year, I usually come alone. Nobody wants to trudge out here when it is too cold to swim I guess. But it is a good place to think or talk and tell secrets," She said with a big smile. "Do you have secrets to tell, Mary?" "I might have a couple, but I was mostly thinking you might want to talk about stuff." For the first time since my parents had died I opened and let my feelings pour out. I told her how much pain I was in and how lonely I felt even when I was with people. Tears streamed down my face as I described the gut wrenching sorrow that I had kept bottled inside. She cried as she put her arms around me. "You know we loved your parents and we all want to help, Bill. Mom has been hiding her tears so you won't be any sadder. Both of my parents are worried about you because you aren't talking about what happened. But I think I understand and want you to know that I am here for anything you need." I sighed and looked into her eyes as I wiped away a tear that was rolling down her cheek. She smiled and I knew something was about to happen. I was excited and terrified. I knew the door was open. I also knew that once I stepped beyond the threshold, I would forever be in a new world. I was certain that my virginity could be a thing of the past if only I asked. But in my mind something else hung in the balance; fucking Mary might well condemn my soul. However, I couldn't help myself. I leaned forward and she leaned toward me. It was like a slow motion scene in some sappy movie. Our heads tilted just so. It seemed an eternity before our lips touched. A Tale of Two Cousins Soon we were making out. She didn't object when my hands began to roam over her body. As I felt her tits through her heavy shirt and substantial bra, she unbuttoned my shirt. She fondled my bare chest as I fondled her still clothed breasts. I was startled when she broke the kiss and moved her lips to my neck. As she kissed her way down my neck and over my shoulder she sighed, "Oh god, I have wanted you for so long, Bill." I knew I should stop her, but her lips felt too good on my seething flesh. "Oh fuck, Mary!" I gasped as she licked my left nipple. As she licked and sucked my chest her hands went to my crotch and began to squeeze my hard cock through my jeans. As my fingers tangled in her hair, I knew all I had to do was let it happen and I would get laid. She loosened my belt and pulled down my zipper. When she paused I wondered if she had changed her mind due to the same doubts I was feeling. But she had other ideas. She slipped off the rock and began to undress. My cock strained against the fabric of my underwear as I watched her shed her shirt and bra to reveal her large gorgeous tits. Despite my nagging reservations, I slipped off the rock and took her into my arms. I bent and began to feast on her luscious tits. As I sucked her orbs she pushed my jeans down and reached into my underwear. The feel of her warm soft hand on my throbbing cock sent shivers along my spine. After another minute she got on her knees and pulled my briefs down exposing my cock. Then she began to run her silky tongue up and down my rigid shaft. I could see from the look in her eyes that she was enjoying doing it as much as I was enjoying having it done. It was so different from the way it had been with my ex. It was like and obligation with her, just something to keep me at bay. Suddenly, Mary had my cock in her mouth and was slowly swallowing me. She slid her lips up and down my shaft, each time taking me deeper until she had my cock head in her throat. I wondered how at such a young age she learned to be such an amazing cock sucker while living on a remote farm. However, that was not the most pressing thing on my mind as I watched my entire cock disappear into her mouth. In the pit of my stomach I felt the agony of doubt. "No, please stop!" I managed to yell out as I took her head in my hands. I pulled her head back causing her lips to slip off of my cock. "Why, Billy, don't you like it?" She asked looking confused and hurt. I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her to her feet. "We can't do this, it isn't right. You're my cousin," I panted as I looked into her beautiful eyes. I have no idea how I got the strength to protest. I wanted her so badly at that moment that my cock hurt. Or more correctly I should say I wanted an orgasm that badly. The truth was as I stood there with my pants at my ankles and my hard cock sticking out in the breeze, I had no specific desire toward her or any woman. I was still that same guy that had always been ambivalent about intercourse. "Please, Billy, I want you to fuck me. It's ok, I am not a virgin." "But we can't be lovers." "Of course not, this is just for today. I have a boy friend that I will probably marry soon. He can't ever know about this. But I have thought about what it would be like to have sex with you for too long. Besides, it will be good for you. Boys need sex. Jerking off in the shower can't be enough for you. Please don't leave me with this fire between my legs," She begged. As I stood there panting, unable to decide, fighting with myself like a cartoon character with an angle on one should and the devil on the other, she unsnapped her pants and let them fall to the ground. She stepped out of them as she pushed her panties down. I felt my cock jump as her wild tangled pubic bush came into view. She had a gorgeous body that could have graced the pages of any nudie magazine. The only difference between her and the centerfolds that I had seen was the amount of hair surrounding her pussy. I was still very naive about grooming below the waist. I just thought that Mary was unusually hairy. I quickly decided I liked the way she looked down there. She stepped forward and her bare flesh rubbed against me as she used her foot to try to push my pants off my ankles. I helped her by stepping on the heel of my shoe and pushing it off. I was still trying to fight her and nature on the inside but had nearly surrendered on the outside. In another minute we were standing there completely naked. She put her arms around my neck and pulled my face to hers. As we kissed my cock rubbed against her soft flat belly. The sensation of her warm flesh against my aching cock was driving me crazy. I had no will in me that could resist. I let her pulled me down to the ground. It was only my inexperienced clumsy that prevented my cock from entering her body. She took hold of my cock and tried to guide it to the target. In flash I was filled with dread. The worse nightmare I could imagine would be for her to get pregnant. "Wait, Mary, I don't have a condom. We can't take that risk," I panted as she pulled on my cock. "Don't worry Billy, I take the pill. I promise it is ok," She moaned in a seductive way. I felt the wetness of her pussy on the tip of my cock and pushed forward. She let go of my cock and it slid deep inside her body. "Oh yes, that feels so good!" she squealed as her pussy enveloped my entire shaft. It felt good to have my cock surrounded by the warm, silky, wetness of her pussy. But it wasn't the nirvana the books I had read and buddies stories had made it out to be. I assumed it was my shame over the incestuous nature of my first time that made me feel that way. "Come on Billy, I need it, fuck me!" She demanded. I pulled back and awkwardly thrust forward as she encouraged me. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that I was somewhere else with someone else as I rammed my cock in and put of her hungry pussy. Even though the sensations I was feeling were intense, I felt like I would never reach climax. I was pretty sure from the sounds she was making and the way she writhed under me that Mary had cum more than once, but still I could not release my seed. Pleasure began to turn to pain. I ached for the orgasm that my body or my mind was denying me. "Billy, please I need a break!" She panted after what seemed to be another orgasm. I pulled my cock out of her body and rolled onto my back. I lay there with my cock point skyward, panting and feeling desperate. She pounced on me and took my cock into her mouth. She began to suck me like a possessed woman. This time when I closed my eyes and tried to imagine being in another place and time far different images filled my head. First I saw my friend Jack, naked on his knees sucking my cock. Then it was Roger that was blowing me. In my mind I reached for Roger's long hard uncut cock and began to fondle him. I screamed as my cock exploded in Mary's mouth. When she lay down next to me she had a broad smile on her face and dribble of my cum in the corner of her lip. I hungrily kissed her and delighted in the taste of semen on her lips. "Thank you, Billy," She whispered as I fought the urge to cry. I couldn't say anything. I felt the shame of having fucked my cousin along with confusion over what my imagination had conjured up. I was relived when she explained that she had a date that night and needed to get back to the house. We quickly got dressed and started back toward the house. "Billy, I know you think what we did is wrong. But it was just for fun and I have wanted it so long. I hope you understand and won't think I am a bad person. The only other boy I ever did it with is my boyfriend that I am going to marry. Sometimes when I do it with him I think about you. I just needed to know what it would be like and it was amazing. Did you like it?" "Yes," I lied, "But I don't think we should do it ever again." "I won't ever start anything, if that is what you want. But if you decided you want me, I will be here for you." "Mary, did I do something wrong?" "No, you were perfect." "It was my first time and I couldn't, um you know, um cum in you. There must be something wrong with me." "Nothing wrong with being slow on the trigger. If you always take that long to cum, you are going to be a very popular man, Billy. But I think it was just your mind that was telling you that you were doing something wrong. I think the next time you are with a girl you will cum a lot faster." I couldn't bring myself to mention my real fear. When we got to the house, Mary ran upstairs to get ready for her date. Uncle Jim was sitting in the living room and I couldn't think of an excuse not to join him when he called me over. "You ok, Bill? You don't look so good." I realized that all the crying must have left my eyes red and puffy. In addition I am sure my hair was a mess and my clothes disheveled. "Yeah, I'm ok. Mary and I were talking about my parents." That was as far as I got before the tears came back. That was probably a good thing since I wasn't sure I would be able to lie convincingly about what Mary and I had been doing. "It's ok to cry son. Best to let it out." Uncle Jim stood by me, silently, with his hand on my shoulder and tears welling in his eyes as I sobbed. It wasn't until many years later that I knew how hard that was for him. My aunt and I were talking at a family reunion and she reminded me of that day. She told me that it was one of a very few times she had seen tears in her husbands eyes. He was a reserved man that kept his emotions inside. What I didn't know was that he had lost his mother at a young age. My out pouring of grief had brought back the pain he never let go of. That summer he did everything he could to help me come to terms with my loss. I managed to get myself together by the time Mary's date knocked on the door. He was a handsome, tall farm boy that appeared to be closer to my age than Mary's. As I shock his hand I felt an odd pang of jealousy. It was a feeling that got worse when Mary came down the stairs. It was the first time I had seen her in dress and it was a dress that was designed to accentuate her assets. I could see from the way she looked at him that her boy friend was definitely going to get laid. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to fuck her in the back seat of his old jalopy as I watched them drive away. I also wondered a bit about my Uncle's seeming obliviousness to the obvious. Either he was clueless or things were way different in the country. Father's in my town would have gone ballistic to see their daughter go off dressed like Mary was that night. Since they weren't a church going family, Sunday morning was the one day when the kids were allowed to sleep past sunrise. Uncle Jim however, did not allow himself that luxury. After dinner he and my aunt went on to bed leaving me and Roger on our own. We horsed around some and watched a little TV. However, I couldn't get Mary and her boyfriend out of my head. I just kept picturing her sucking his cock and him humping her like a madman. The thoughts led to a very uncomfortable hard on in my jeans. At some point I blurted out, "Do you think Mary and her boyfriend are fucking right now?" Oddly, Roger didn't seem the least bit surprised by my question. "I try not to think about what Mary and Steve do. Truthfully, I try not to think about Mary in connection with anything sexual. Shit, I accidently saw her tits a couple of months ago and almost came in my pants." "Geez, Rog, she's your sister! "Yeah I know and I would never do anything. God this probably sounds sick, but you can't deny she has one hot bod." I couldn't deny it and I actually felt better knowing that Roger had sexual feelings toward her too. "I guess it is hard having a hot sister around. You ever see her all the way naked?" I asked hoping he wouldn't turn the question around on me. "Nah, but I see her in her panties and bra sometimes, er accidentally of course. Damn Steve is a lucky shit!" "Damn, sounds like you want to do your sister!" "Like you don't! I can see your boner from here, Cuz!" With the bulge in my jeans it would have been ridiculous to deny that I was turned on. Problem was I wasn't sure why I was turned on. "It is just talking about tits and fucking that has me going. You know I wouldn't do anything with Mary," I protested. "Yeah, I know, me neither, but we can't help what our bodies do when we see that body." "I guess, feels a little weird though, you know?" "Like I said I mostly try not to think about it, but right now I am having trouble not thinking about how smashed my dick is in these jeans so I am going to go take care of it." He got up and headed for the stairs. I surprised myself by following him. When we went into his room he left the lights off. Neither of us said a word as we striped to our skin in the pitch blackness. I heard him crawl into bed and wasn't sure what I should do. "Come on, Bill. I will stay all the way on this side, you stay on yours," He said sounding annoyed. I got in bed and stayed as close to the edge as I could without falling out. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt something touch my hip. It turned out to be a box of Kleenex. "Make sure you don't get any jizz in my bed," He said as the bed began to shake a little. I pulled out a bunch of tissues and laid them on my belly and took hold of my throbbing dick. As I laid there stroking my cock and listening to the sounds of my cousin jacking off only inches away, I felt like there was something more I wanted. But I couldn't quite understand the desire. I was sure only that I wished the lights were on. Even though my eyes had adjusted to the dark room, I still could only see shadows. I could see that he was jacking his cock, but I couldn't see any details. I wanted to see what I had listened to a few nights earlier. But there was no such luck that night. I couldn't even see the cum spurt form his cock when he gasped. I knew he had cum though because he stopped stroking and just lay there as I continued pounding my cock in my fist. "Damn, Billy, you always take forever to empty your nuts?" He asked after several more minutes of listening to me jerk off. "It varies, I guess." "Just think about shooting your jizz all over a nice big set of titties like Mary's. That should get you over the edge," He suggested. Of course I knew that it was mostly due to me having cum in Mary's mouth a few hours earlier. I tried thinking of her tits, but the picture that kept popping into my head was Roger's cock. Finally, I gave in and just imagined it was his cock that I was stroking. That did the trick. A little trickle of cum oozed out go my cock to go with a very strong orgasm. I quickly cleaned up, said goodnight and turned on my side facing away from him. Since I didn't feel the bed move I assumed he had remained on his back. "Um, Billy, are you mad at me?" He asked softly a few minutes later. "No, why would you think that?" "I don't know I thought maybe you thought I was a weirdo because I had those thoughts about my sister." "No, I understand. I had them too." "Oh ok, so why did you turn away so fast." I decided to tell him only a partial truth. "Well, the thing is that I like jerking off and shit, but after I feel kinda funny about it. Like it is a bad thing or something. Doing it like this laying next to you, maybe added to that feeling." "I know what you mean, I feel a little strange too. I just don't want you to think I am an oddball or something." "If that was the case then I would have to call myself an oddball. I did the same stuff you did." But I was sure I hadn't done the exact same stuff. I had fantasized about touching his cock. I had no reason to think he had thought about anything but his sister's tits. "Maybe it would help if we talked about it," He said hesitantly and put his hand on my upper back. I realized that he had turned toward me and his cock was very close to touching my ass. I wanted to turn over and face him, but feared that would mean crossing a line that I wasn't ready to cross. "I don't know what there is to talk about, Roger. All we did was jerk off. All guys do it, I bet and plenty probably do it with other guys too." "Yeah, probably, but I well what were you thinking about when you came?" "Your sister's tits, like you suggested," I lied. "Why what were you thinking about?" I couldn't let down my guard and tell him that I was thinking about his cock. "Well that some but other stuff too," He answered in a weak voice as he squeezed my shoulder. "What like her pussy?" I blurted out, hoping to convince him that I had been thinking only of girls. "I don't know what hers looks like," He said as he inched closer to me. "Only pussy I ever saw was in pictures in playboy and when Johnny Wilkerson found his older brother's porn stash in their barn." I could feel his breath on the back of my neck on the heat of his body along the length of my flesh. I was terrified that he would move closer while at the same time I wanted to feel his cock pressed against my backside. As I lay there silently, I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling him exactly what his sister's pussy look like. In another minute he let his hand slide down off my shoulder and onto my chest. I would have taken it for an accident if he had quickly pulled it back, but he just let his fingers rest next to my right nipple. I didn't know if I should say something or ignore it as I hoped that he couldn't feel my rapid heartbeat. I didn't want to embarrass him, nor did I want to encourage him if he was consciously trying to make a move on me. "Billy, I am sorry for the reason, but I am really glad you are here," He said as he shifted his weight without moving his arm. The front of his thigh was resting lightly against the back of my leg. Had his cock been hard I was sure it would have been poking into my ass at that point. Neither of us moved. I am not sure I was even breathing. He pressed his face into my shoulder as his hand went from rest on my chest to a full on hug. The hug felt good and even though we were naked non-sexual. I pushed back gently bring our bodies into shoulder to ankle contact. I could feel his soft cock pressed between. "Thank you, Rog, I am glad to be here. You are really helping me more than you can know. I think I need to get some sleep now." "Good idea, even on Sunday, mornings come early." He released me from his embrace and slid back a few inches so that our bodies were no longer touching. He said goodnight with his hand still resting on my shoulder. I decided I liked the contact as I drifted off to sleep. In the morning I woke up alone. If I hadn't found a couple of cum filled tissues near my crotch, I might have thought I dreamt the whole thing. As it was, I wasn't sure if the part after I rolled over was entirely real. As I showered, I decided that the goodnight hug was a nice moment that had nothing to do with sex. It just happened that we were naked. Had we shared a hug while fully clothed it would have been nothing more than him comforting me. The lie I told myself help me to cast away the shame I felt over my fantasies regarding other guy's cocks. I also managed to believe it was true until the following afternoon. After lunch on Monday, Roger and I went across the state road to a field Uncle Jim was leasing to use as pasture to expand his dairy herd. The fences needed mending in several places before the new stock could be brought in. Uncle Jim was confident that two strapping young men could get the job done in time without his help. He was too busy trying to get their old tractor ready for one more season of plowing. As it turned out I had seemed to have a knack for mending barbed wire. After showing me once and watching for a few minutes, Roger let me work on separate patches from him. Though we stayed nearby each other we were too far apart to talk. As it turned out working that way got what seemed to be even more than twice the expected amount of work done. After about three hours of work, Roger came over and tapped me on the shoulder.