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A Bend in the Road

By: Oldguy45



This story is the expression of a fantasy that I've had for a long time. It is partly autobiographical, in that I took some incidents and events from my own life and used them. But I've never had an actual homosexual experience or been involved in a gay relationship. Therefore, the story is pure fantasy—my idealized version of what it might be like to have a gay lover. For those of you who are gay, the story might not ring true. For that, I apologize. Please know that I dealt with my fantasy and the subject matter as honestly as I could. I'm sure that this story probably resembles in some ways my other submissions to this site. That is fine with me. I like the way I write. In my writing, I experience the romance that I lack in my real life. In any case, I hope that you enjoy the story.

I would say that I'm a reasonably good-looking, forty-three year-old man. Brown eyes, salt and pepper hair, average weight, five feet eleven. I'm told that I have a good sense of humor. I can tell a joke. I've been fortunate to enjoy good health as well. I watch what I eat and I exercise. I own my own title abstracting business, and it involves standing around a lot in courthouses, so I make sure that I go to the gym from time to time.

My wife Margaret and I divorced about two years ago after being married for twenty-five years. We had raised two children, a son and a daughter, and when the youngest left home, we looked at each other and asked, "Who is this person?" There was nothing left of the marriage. We tried for a while to enjoy being together again, like when we first married, but there was nothing there. So we moved on. Margaret became involved with someone about eight months later. She was happy, although she had no plans to remarry. I, on the other hand, had dated a few women I wasn't really interested in, then nothing. 

The loneliness gets a little tough, sometimes.

I said that I'd been healthy. That was true until earlier this year, when I came down with pneumonia. Mycoplasma pneumonia, in fact. My doctor said it was "community acquired," which means that I got it from somebody else. Hell, I could have told him that. Anyway, it put me in the hospital for five days while I got a course of antibiotics.

For the first two days, I felt terrible. All I wanted to do was sleep. I didn't want food or anything to drink. I just wanted to lie in bed. On the third day, I felt better. I decided to ask my nurse if I could take a shower. 

I was a little surprised when a young man entered my room that morning. He was carrying a clipboard, had on colorful scrubs, and was wearing a stethoscope around his neck.

"Good morning. Is it Richardson? Mr. Cliff Richardson?" I affirmed that it was. He took my wrist and looked at my hospital identification band. "My name is Tad Sorenson, and I'll be your nurse today," he said.

It was the first time I'd seen him. The first two days, my nurses had been females. Tad was young, maybe twenty-five or six, and fair-skinned, with light brown hair. He was slender, with blue eyes and small, even white teeth.

"Good morning, Tad." I said. "Hey, would it be possible for me to take a shower today? I feel a bit scummy."

"I don't see why not, sir," he replied. "We'll just cover your IV site with some plastic wrap to keep it dry. But first, I need to do your assessment. Can you lean forward in the bed while I listen to your lungs?" He leaned over me, listening to my lungs with the stethoscope. I was suddenly more aware than ever of my funky odor.

"I'm sorry if I'm a bit ripe," I said.

Tad was leaning over me, concentrating on my lung sounds, his stethoscope on my chest. I noticed that he had a very nice watch, an Omega in fact, and that his hands were small and nicely formed. He nails were clean and trimmed, and his fingers were long and slender. He wore a heavy gold class ring on his right ring finger. Tad did not smell funky. He smelled good. "Excuse me," he said, taking the earpieces out. "I couldn't hear what you said."

"I said, I'm sorry if I smell bad," I said.

"Don't worry about it, Mr. Richardson. I've smelled much, much worse," Tad said, taking my wrist and looking at his Omega while he counted my pulse. He wrote something on his clipboard and told me he'd see me later, then left the room.

A little later, they brought me a breakfast tray with the usual, bacon and eggs. I almost never ate bacon and eggs, but for the first time in several days, I was hungry. I ate everything on my plate, and the coffee and orange juice too. About that time, the patient care tech, a middle-aged black lady, came in and said she was going to "clean me up" and change my bed. I told her I wanted to take a shower and she rolled her eyes a little. "I spoke to Tad about it already," I said. She put the bed linens down on the chair and left the room. 

Five minutes later Tad came in the room and said, "Okay, let's fix that IV so that you can shower."

"I think I made the tech mad," I said as Tad disconnected the line and flushed the site.

"Who? Mary? Don't worry about her. She's used to her patients not being able to even talk to her. You are a bit of an oddity around here, sir. A patient who can ask questions and make requests." Tad said this while deftly applying plastic wrap around my IV site and taping it in place. "There," he said, "that should keep it dry. Do you need any help getting to the shower?"

"No," I said, getting up from the bed. But then I couldn't reach around and get the damn gown untied. 

"Let me help," Tad said and I felt a gentle touch and a breeze of cool air as my gown was untied from the back. I stepped into the small bathroom and took off the gown. I handed it through the door to Tad. As I closed the door, I glanced at him. He was looking at me openly, even somewhat appraisingly. I was glad that I'd spent as much time at the gym as I had.

"Call if you need anything," he said through the door. I told him I would, and turned on the water. The hot water felt really good. I shampooed and then started on my body. As I scrubbed off the dirt, my hand wandered to my penis, now semi-erect. I usually masturbated at least three times a week, but I hadn't felt like it lately. Maybe tonight, I said to myself.

I put on clean underwear and Mary helped me into a clean hospital gown. For the first time in days, I felt human. I shaved and put on a little after shave lotion. I still coughed occasionally, but not nearly as much as when I came in.

Tad was in and out during the day. I was reading a book by Cormac McCarthy when he came in once. He remarked on it. "Oh, so you read McCarthy too. I've read a couple of his, but I don't think I understand everything that's in them."

"I've read Child of God, All the Pretty Horses, and Blood Meridian," I said. I enjoyed them, but I don't understand them either. I've never been able to get what the critics mean when they say Blood Meridian is about 'regeneration by violence.'"

"Still," Tad said, "there is something compelling about them. They're so simple on the surface, yet deep. You know?"

Tad's shift ended at seven that evening, and I was sorry to see him go. He checked on me one last time at about six-thirty. "So, are you working tomorrow?" I asked.

"Sure am," he said, giving me a smile.

"Will you be my nurse tomorrow as well?"

"Most likely," he said. "We keep the same patients for several days. It's called 'continuity of care' in healthcare talk."

"Good. I'll be looking forward to talking about McCarthy's books with you. How about No Country for Old Men?" I asked.

"I've seen the movie, but I haven't read the book. But it was a real downer as a movie." Tad said.

"It's the first movie I've ever seen by the Coen brothers that has absolutely no humor in it at all." I said.

That night, as I lay in bed, I thought back to a couple of experiences I'd had when I was younger. For instance, when I was about twelve or thirteen, I had a friend named Robin. We used to camp out in his backyard in an old abandoned station wagon. We'd watch TV and smoke cigarettes. Another thing we did was get completely naked, and stand in the street in the middle of the night. We could see the headlights of approaching cars well before the cars themselves came into view. Robin and I would wait until the last second, then run back into his yard as the lights shone on us. We never got caught, but a few times, the cars paused at the top of the hill. Our late-night shenanigans later progressed to sexual experimentation. A couple of times, I put Robin's cock into my mouth and he did the same to me. I'll admit, however, that he didn't seem to want to suck me as much as I did him. It was terribly exciting, but we never carried it past the experimentation stage. Another time, when I was in the Navy, I met a young man name Kerry. He was somewhat effeminate, with a soft North Carolina twang and slender hands. We became friends while I was in hospital corpsman school. When the time came to leave school and join the fleet, we rode home together on the same plane. I never saw him again, but I often thought of him afterward.

Both Robin and Kerry looked like Tad.

The thing is, I told myself, I love pussy. I mean really love it. I always loved getting close to my wife's pussy, kissing it, licking it, eating it up. I loved fucking her as well. Other than those experiences when I was young, I'd never been attracted to men. At all. And now, here I was thinking about the past, and thinking about Tad. I caught myself wondering what he looked like naked.

The next day, I felt a bit better. My doctor came in, examined me and told me that I'd be able to go home the next day. When Tad came in, I told him the news. "That's great," he said, smiling. "I have orders to discontinue your IV and put you on oral meds." Later that morning, he deftly pulled my IV out and gave me a handful of pills to take. I took another shower and shaved carefully. I put on some after-shave lotion I had in my case. Tad even remarked on it. "Well, you must feel better if you've put on lotion," he said, "it smells pretty good."

He was in and out during the day. We talked and got to know each other a little. I sensed an attraction. Was he leaning over a bit closer than he had to when he listened to my lungs? Did he hold my wrist a bit too long when he counted my pulse? Was that bright smile only for me? Or did all his patients get the same one?

I was let down when he left for the day. "Will you be back tomorrow?" I asked.

"You bet," he said. "It will be my third day of a three day stretch. Don't be surprised if I'm a little grouchy."

"I doubt that," I replied, "but I'll be on my best behavior."

He laughed, a good sound, "Okay, sir, I'll see you tomorrow."

The next morning, I was up early showering. I wanted to be ready for my doctor, and honestly, for Tad as well. I shaved carefully, put on lotion, brushed my teeth, and generally made myself presentable. As predicted, my doctor came in and promptly discharged me. I suddenly became alarmed. What if I had to leave before seeing Tad? And then I caught myself. What was I thinking? Tad was a man. I could remember acting like this for a woman a long, long, time ago, but never for a man. Did this mean I was turning gay?

No it didn't, I told myself. I just liked Tad and wanted to say goodbye to him. Anyway, I needn't have worried. When Tad came in he said, predictably, "Well, Mr. Richardson, your doctor has discharged you."

"Good," I said. "Do I leave right away?"

"Heavens no," Tad said, "I've go to do the paperwork first. It will be a little while."

"Okay," I said. "I'm at your disposal."

Later that morning, Tad came to my room, a sheaf of papers in his hand. There were forms to sign, and prescriptions, and something called "discharge teaching." We got through it all fairly quickly. I was dressed and ready to go. "Is that it?" I asked. 

"Yep," he said. "But you have to wait while someone takes you down in a wheelchair."

"You're kidding," I said incredulously.

"Nope," he said, smiling. "Hospital rules. We can't take the chance that you'll fall and hurt yourself on the way out."

"Who's going to take me?" I asked.

"Probably one of the techs. Mary, I would think," Tad said, a little smile on his lips.

"Hrmph. She'll probably be glad to be rid of me."

"Anyway, Mr. Richardson, It's been a pleasure taking care of you. Take care of yourself." He stuck out his hand. I shook it.

At that moment, something happened inside me. Suddenly, I had to see Tad again. I said, "Tad, how would you like to go out sometime? Maybe have dinner or see a movie?"

He looked surprised. "Well, I don't know," he said. "I've never been out with a patient, I mean, former patient, before."

"Nothing elaborate," I added hastily. "I thought maybe we could just have an evening together. Do you by chance play golf? We could hit a bucket of balls." I realized I was talking fast and sounding like a fool, a desperate one at that. I reached into my pocket and took out my business card. "Here," I said. "Call me if you'd like to go out." Tad still had hold of my hand. He gave it a quick shake and took the card.

"Tell you what," he said, taking out his pen. Tad wrote something on the back of the card and handed it back to me. "Why don't you call me? Here's my number."

A surge of excitement coursed through my body. I know my hand was shaking slightly when I took the card back. Still, I managed to sound casual. "Okay. I will," I said. 

"Well, I have to go. Take care, Mr. Richardson," Tad said, turning to the door.

"Cliff," I said, "call me Cliff."

He turned, smiled and said. "Okay, Cliff," and left the room.

I turned the card over and looked at it. Written on the back was "Tad Sorenson" and a phone number. There was also a little smiley face.

That night, back at my house, I was having mixed feelings. While I definitely wanted to see Tad again, I wondered what I would be getting myself into if I called the number. Where was this leading to? Did I actually propose to "date" him? I had always considered myself strictly heterosexual, notwithstanding my youthful experimentation. I loved pussy! But at the same time, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I put his card down beside my phone and decided to think about it a little.

That night, my sleep was full of dreams, and they all involved Tad, or Robin, or Kerry. I took it as a sign. All day long I planned what I was going to say. That evening, with shaking hands, I picked up the phone and dialed Tad's number. It rang eight times and I was just about to give up when somebody picked up and in a breathless voice, answered, "Hello!"

"Hello," I said, "I'm calling for Tad."

"This is he."

"Tad, this is Cliff Richardson."

"Oh yes!" Tad said. He sounded pleased, and my heart gave a little lift. "How are you, Cliff?"

"I'm much better, thank goodness. I felt pretty bad for a while. Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to..." I stammered.

"Go out? Sure, I'd love to."

I barely managed to get the next few words out, but I managed to say, "How about dinner? Maybe a movie?"

"That's fine," Tad said. "When?"

"Tomorrow night. I'll pick you up at six-thirty." I was feeling a little more confident now. This was just like making a date with a woman.

"Make it seven-thirty. I have to work and I don't get off until six forty-five."

"Seven-thirty it is, then," I said. "See you then." As I hung up, a palpable excitement filled my chest. I still didn't understand it, but I was happy to have it. I hadn't felt this way in a long time.

The work orders for title abstracts had piled up while I was gone, and I spent the next day at the courthouse doing research and fending off lawyers' offices while I tried to catch up. It didn't stop my anticipation from mounting, though, as the day wore on. 

I had gotten direction to Tad's place and that night at seven-thirty, I was there to pick him up. He lived in an upscale apartment complex and I admired the nice cars parked in the lot as I pulled in. I hoped I was dressed okay. I had on my best shoes, light linen slacks and a button-down dress shirt, worn open. I had shaved carefully and put on my favorite cologne. I had even done my nails.

Tad answered the door and asked me in. I was impressed. I though he'd said that he was a contract nurse, and so would only be at this assignment for about three months. Still, the apartment was tastefully furnished and appointed with small touches that added class and comfort. He had made it into a home, if a temporary one.

Tad himself was dressed in a creamy yellow sport shirt, fashionable blue jeans and penny loafers. A preppy look, but I liked it. When he greeted me, he smiled as if he meant it. I stood nervously in the living room while he got ready. A couple of minutes later, he came out with a sweater over his arm and said, "I'm ready, let's go."

I had spent a lot of time thinking about where we should go. I wanted to impress him, without appearing to try too hard. On the other hand, there was still a little part of me that rebelled at this being a "date." Weren't we just two guys going out for dinner?

I took him to the nicest restaurant in town.

It was a steak place called Rufous, and it was on the edge of town, nearly hidden in a grove of trees. I had been there only once before, and it had cost me a pretty penny. Something told me that Tad was used to being taken out to nice places, and I didn't want to disappoint him.

Tad ordered the smallest, most expensive steak they had, "half a baked potato, sour cream only," and a salad. I ordered a T-bone with fried onions and steamed vegetables, and splurged on a very nice, garnet-red cabernet to drink with it. For dessert, we shared a dish of peach ice cream and a slice of pound cake. I could hardly believe it, nor did I protest, when Tad carefully scooped a little cake and ice cream onto his spoon and held it out for me to eat. "Together, Cliff, eat them together," he said as I closed my mouth over the treat. I looked into his smiling eyes as I swallowed. I was suddenly a little weak.

I had planned for us to go to a movie, and I told him so, but then I said, "Do you mind if we just drive around a little and talk?" Tad said that was fine with him.

We drove around in the country for a while, and then ended up at his apartment. "Would you like to come in?" he asked.

"Sure," I said. I hoped I didn't sound too eager.

He made coffee and put on a CD—I couldn't tell you what it was if my life depended on it—and sat down beside me on a very nice leather sofa. He was at one end and I was at the other. I wished we were closer. Then Tad looked at me and said, "Okay Cliff, be honest. Just what are you doing here tonight?"

I was surprised. I know that I blushed. For a moment, I didn't know what to say. I started to stammer, "Well, I just thought it would be nice to..."

Tad interrupted me. "Listen, Cliff. I know you know that I'm a gay man. I know that you are not a gay man. Is this just an experiment for you? If it is, I want you to know that I've been down this path before, and I got hurt. I like older guys, but I'm not going to put my heart or my body out there for some aging pseudo-gay Casanova who just wants to know how it feels to have a man go down on him."

I looked at him. "The truth is, I don't really know. When I was younger, I did a little experimenting with a friend, but it never developed into anything. It passed, and I've been exclusively with women for the rest of my life. Hell, I was married for a long time. I've always enjoyed sex with women. But there must have been something in the back of my mind, something dormant, something waiting, the whole time. And then I was in the hospital, and a little vulnerable, and I saw you, and I suddenly had to get to know you better. Tad, I'm attracted to you physically, I won't deny it. I love your hands. But I also think we have a connection that goes deeper than just that. I promise you my feelings for you are genuine. I will not hurt you and I'll treat you with the utmost respect. I am nothing if not a gentleman. Still, if you want this to end now, I'll understand."


A Bend in the Road



He smiled and said, "A gentleman. What a novel concept in this day and age. Cliff, I believe you." He patted the couch next to him and said, "Slide over here." I slid over eagerly. "Now put your arm around me," he said quietly. I did so. "Have you ever kissed a man before?" he asked. "No," I said. "Well, there's a first time for everything," he said. Tad turned toward me, put his hand on my face and pulled me down. Our lips touched, our mouths opened, I felt and tasted his tongue, and I kissed and was kissed by a man for the first time in my life.

I cannot describe the feelings that kiss produced in me. I felt a rush of excitement unlike any I had felt before. Tad was both more aggressive and more submissive than a woman. At first his tongue was in my mouth, but then he drew my tongue into him, and gently sucked on it.

I was erect within seconds.

We sat on his couch and "made out," for want of a better term, for about fifteen minutes, and then to my disappointment, Tad pushed me away gently. "Cliff, I think it's time for you to go," he whispered. I could see that his face was flushed and that he was breathing heavily; I was gratified to know that he was excited too.

"Okay," I said, "but one more before I go."

Tad obliged me with another kiss, this one slightly more chaste than our previous ones. I reluctantly got up and walked to the door. Tad followed. When I opened the door, he leaned against the opening. A little smile played across his lips. I took his hand in both of mine and asked the age-old question: "When am I going to see you again?"

"Call me tomorrow and we'll see," he said. "I'll be in and out during the day." Then he smiled a trifle ruefully and said, "I hope that I don't live to regret this, Cliff."

"You won't, I promise," I said, and walked on air to my car.

I worked at the courthouse the next day, but my mind wasn't on my work. Tad was all I could think about. Finally, at one o'clock, I dialed his number. He picked up on the fourth ring.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi Tad, it's Cliff Richardson."

"Oh hello!" he said. I was thrilled. He actually sounded happy to hear from me.

"How's your day going?"

"Just fine. I'm cleaning up around the house. How about you?"

"Routine, for once," I replied. "I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed last night. It was a bit of a revelation for me."

"Oh? How so?"

"It's hard to explain over the phone. I'd have to tell you in person." I said this fervently hoping that he'd agree to see me again soon.

"That can probably arranged, Cliff. What did you have in mind?"

Knowing that this was a clue for me to take the lead, I said, "If you're not doing anything this afternoon, why don't we meet for drinks?"

"Sounds good. I know just the place."

We arranged to meet at one of the local sports bars where one could get a drink or a beer or a steak. I was there at five. Tad showed up at five-ten. He was wearing crisp khakis, penny loafers and an expensive linen shirt of several pastel colors. I waved him over and he smiled when he saw me. On his way through the restaurant, I saw several other male patrons look at him. Some watched appreciatively, others with barely concealed disgust. It was a bit of a shock for me. Suddenly, I wondered if I wanted to be associated so closely with a gay man. I mean, wouldn't most people now assume that I was gay also? I must have been frowning when Tad walked up, because he said, "What's the matter, Cliff? Is something bothering you?" He sat down across from me and looked into my eyes.

"Nothing," I said. "Just thinking about my ex-wife."

"Mmmm-hmmm," he said dubiously. It was obvious that he didn't believe me. Then it occurred to me. Tad had encountered this before. He had told me that he'd "been down this road before," presumably with other men like me, men who had never been in a homosexual relationship before. It became clear that this whole encounter was a test. A test to see whether I was embarrassed to be seen in public with Tad. Even his outfit was part of the test. Tad looked great to me, but his dress and the way he carried himself practically shouted his orientation to the world. I looked around the restaurant. It was filled with men. Most of them were professional types, like me, with shirts and ties. But there was an appreciable number of working class guys and college students. There were women, but not many of them. At this time of the day, this place was mainly male. 

And then I decided that it didn't matter. I had not felt this way about anyone, male or female, in a very long time, and I was not going to let anything ruin it. It was then that I threw myself totally into the relationship with Tad. To do so was such a relief that I must have been smiling, because Tad's face lit up and he said, "Wow! What a change! You have such a nice smile, Cliff, when you choose to let me see it."

"Tad," I said happily, "you have no idea how glad I am to see you. I have been looking forward to this all afternoon." I reached over and patted his hand, his beautiful hand.

Tad looked down, then back up at me from under lidded eyes and said, "I'm glad you're glad. I think we're off to a good start."

We ordered drinks and sat talking for two hours. During that time we also ate, but I don't remember what we had. We talked about everything: politics, movies, our families (including my children), all the things people talk about to get to know each other. At about eight, we got up to leave, leaving our long-suffering server a generous tip. I walked him to his car, a very nice gold-colored Avalon. "I would ask you over, Cliff, but I've got to work tomorrow and the next day. I have to get some rest and if you came over, we might spend the night...talking." He blushed attractively. (My heart actually beat a little harder.)

"No," I said, "it's quite all right. I have to work tomorrow too. I'd like to call you tomorrow night though, if it's all right."

"Absolutely," he said. "Call me tomorrow night."

"And by the way," I said, handing him my card, "here are my numbers. Both my cell and my house phone are on there, as well as my email address. "Okay then, 'bye," I said, leaning in. Tad favored me with a smile and firm peck on the lips. He then slipped into his car and drove off.

The next two days we didn't see each other, only talked on the phone. They weren't long conversations, just keeping-in-touch talks, but they were pleasant enough. On Friday night, I asked Tad if he'd like to spend Saturday together with me. To my delight, he said yes, and on Saturday morning I picked him up at his apartment. First we went to the gym, where we both enjoyed good, hard workouts. We played a couple of games of racquetball, each one of us winning one. Afterward, we went out to lunch. Over a second glass of cold white wine, Tad told me that he'd always found older guys more interesting than younger ones.

"You said you'd been down this road before." I said. "Do you mind telling me what you mean?"

Tad sighed and looked away. Then he looked at me and said, "When I was twenty-two, just out of nursing school, I had an affair with an older man. He was a doctor at a hospital where I worked. Very handsome. Very distinguished. Wealthy. The whole package. I fell in love with him. He took me to Italy with him, for heaven's sake. Then I found out that he was divorced, no, actually just separated from his wife. He had teenaged kids. He told me one night that he was on the verge of reconciling with her. I wanted him to make a choice. His family or me. It was stupid of me, I know, to force him to choose." Tad wiped a tear with the back of his hand. I gave him a napkin. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose. "I don't want you to see me like this," he said.

"I'm sorry I brought it up," I said. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh, it's all right," he said, laying his hand on mine. "But you can see why I'm a little 'gun shy' if you know what I mean. Anyway, in the end, he chose to go back to his family. I chose to move on. But it still hurts a little when I think about him."

"Is he a local doctor?" I asked.

"Heaven's no! I couldn't stand to be around him anymore. He's in another state, and good riddance to him."

"Well Tad," I said, "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. My wife and I are totally and completely divorced, with no chance of getting back together. My children are living their own lives now. Now, I'll admit, this is the first time I've ever been in a relationship with a man, but I feel kind of like I've been waiting for it, for you, my entire life. I want to make this work between us. God! I can't believe I'm saying this! It's so different from what I've been like before. But it feels really right to me."

"I'm glad," Tad said, looking at me.

We spent the rest of the afternoon shopping. Tad helped me pick out a new shirt and shoes. They were both of a style that I would never have chosen for myself, but I figured I was broadening my horizons in several ways. Afterward, we went over to my house for dinner. I already had the grill set up and the steaks marinating. I opened a bottle of my (best!) red wine and we started on it while I grilled. Tad made fettuccini alfredo and a salad. I had put a record album on my turntable while we cooked. "I can't believe you have a turntable and records," he said, kneeling in front of my entertainment center. He pulled out an album and handed it to me. "Let's play this one," he said.

I looked at it. It was by Dire Straits, an album title Making Movies. Actually one of my favorites. "Good choice," I said. "I really like this album." Soon we were enjoying Mark Knopfler's guitar playing. Then "Romeo and Juliet" came on, the second track on the album. "I love this song," I said to Tad.

"Me too," he said. "It's so romantic."

I couldn't help myself. I put my wine glass down and came up behind Tad. I put my hands on his slender waist and turned him around. He moved into my arms and we exchanged the first kiss of the day. It was perfect. It was quite a while before we broke the kiss. Tad patted me on the chest and whispered, "More of this later, baby. I'm starving."

"I'm starving, too," I murmured.

"Patience, big boy. Good things come to those who wait," he said, turning back around and pouring sauce onto noodles. I picked up my glass, refilled his and mine, and went back into the yard. The steaks were done. I brought them in and set our places. Tad served the fettuccini and the salad. We ate hungrily, talking little, the silence companionable.

The sun was going down as we drank coffee on the back porch of my house. I lived out in the country. My porch looked out upon a field, with a patch of woods bordering it. The sun set behind the trees, the shadows lengthened and stretched toward us. It got a little cool. We went inside and sat on the couch. The room got darker, so I lit a candle or two. I put on another album, this time a really old one—The Best of Bread. Tad put his head on my shoulder. I played with his hair. It was very fine.

"That feels nice," he said quietly.

"You have the nicest hair. So straight and fine."

"Cliff."

"Yes."

"Please kiss me now."

He crawled into my arms. I looked into his eyes, half-closed with anticipation, mouth slightly open. His body was warm and firm; his muscles moved smoothly under my hands. I pulled him close and kissed him, gently at first, then more deeply, more hungrily. The kiss went on and on. I felt it in my whole body. Tad was a better kisser than any woman I'd ever met, even my wife. It was like he threw his whole being into the kiss. I was erect within moments.

I felt Tad's hand on my chest, and then his fingers unbuttoning my shirt. His hot breath seared my skin. He took my nipple into his mouth, sucked gently. My belt became unbuckled. My pants were deftly undone. His lips moved back up my throat; I was kissed again. A warm hand went under the band of my shorts and grasped my cock. A rush of pleasure coursed through my body. It had been years since I'd had my cock touched by another person. My ex-wife and I had not made love for at least a year before we separated. Tad slowly worked his hand up and down on my erection. It made no difference, none at all, that it was a man handling me instead of a woman. "Oh baby," I moaned, "that feels so good."

"It's going to feel better," Tad whispered into my ear. He lowered his head onto my lap. I felt his hot breath on my stomach. He pulled down my shorts and took my cock into his mouth, sucking it just right. He was warm and wet and very practiced. I could already tell that no woman had ever sucked me with as much skill and relish. We went on like that for several minutes, and then I had to stop him—I was getting ready to cum. "Let's go in the bedroom," I murmured. We got up off the couch and I led Tad by the hand to the back of the house.

We undressed quickly and got into bed together. I was struck by how much the same, yet how different it was from making love to a woman. Tad's skin was certainly soft and smooth. He had hardly any hair anywhere, and what he did have was soft and light. He kissed ardently and somewhat aggressively, but let me take the lead. He took my tongue like a woman. I kissed him on the neck and nibbled his ear, then moved lower to his chest. He moaned. All this time, there was the undeniably arousing, yet strange sensation of our genitals being squashed together. We were both hard. He lay back a little, and I looked at his pale smooth body by the light of the lamp. I ran my hand over him, ending at his crotch. I hesitated.

"Have you ever handled another man's cock before, Cliff?" Tad asked.

"No, I never have," I managed to choke out.

"Then we're both about to get a treat. Go ahead, lover. Touch my cock."

Tad was about seven inches long, fairly thick, and cut. He obviously trimmed his pubic hair, because it was no more than a springy little bush. His testicles were large, the sac drawn up firmly. Tad's cock was fully erect. I put my hand around it and squeezed gently. He sighed and inhaled sharply. "Oh yes baby, that feels good." I moved my hand up and down on it a little, and a small drop of clear pre-cum appeared at the tip.

"I want to do it," I said.

"Do what, baby?"

"I want to suck it."

Smiling, Tad looked at me and with a mischievous glint in his eye, asked, "Suck what?"

Now I was smiling. Now I realized that for many years, I'd waited for this moment. I'd waited for the right time, the right man, and, heaven help me, the right cock. "I want to suck your cock, Tad."

"Go ahead, Cliff darling. Enjoy yourself. Oh, and don't worry about my cumming in your mouth. We'll get to that later." With that, Tad laid back a little, displaying his slender, pale body and hard cock to me.

I was literally trembling with anticipation, and with trepidation. I had never sucked a man's cock before. This was unknown territory for me. I scooted down so that I was directly over his groin. I picked up Tad's cock and placed a tentative kiss on the head. I ran my tongue over the bulbous glans and took it into my mouth. He tasted smooth and alive, a warm living thing. He was also nice and hard. I sucked ardently. For a second, I couldn't believe what I was doing: I was actually sucking another man's cock, and enjoying it. Just as quickly, I accepted it and realized that this was what I wanted. I settled in to give Tad a good cocksucking. "That's good, Cliff," I heard Tad say. I tasted something a little salty and realized that it was Tad's pre-cum. I squeezed the shaft and milked a little into my mouth. Tad groaned. I figured I must have been doing all right. Suddenly, I remembered all the times that women (the few that I'd had) had sucked my cock. I remembered how much I liked it, but also that most of them didn't seem to enjoy what they were doing. It was something to get past, so they could get my mouth on their pussies, and then presumably my cock in there. I made up my mind right then and there that Tad would never feel that way about my cocksucking.

The excitement got too much for me, and I moaned with a mouthful of Tad's penis. I opened wide to get more of him into me, closed my lips tightly, and sucked hard, moving my head up and down. He groaned again, and thrust his pelvis forward a little. He was fucking my mouth, and I loved it! I threw my body over his, laying my head down on his stomach, the warm wonderful taste, smell and feel of his dick overwhelming me. I was moaning and didn't even realize it, and more than anything in the world, I wanted that man's cum in my mouth. But then he gently pushed me away. "Let me do you," he said. 

Tad pushed me back on the bed and got between my legs. He started by kissing the insides of my thighs and working slowly toward the center. As he did so, my cock got harder and harder. He cupped my balls in his hand and kissed and sucked them, then planted a line of wet sucky kisses all the way up my shaft. When he got to the top, he engulfed the head with the wettest, most ardent cocksucking mouth I'd ever felt. "Oh! That feels so damn good!" I cried. Without missing a beat, he deep-throated me, something no woman had ever done. Slowly he crawled up my shaft. I felt his talented tongue every millimeter of the way. I looked into his eyes, his pretty eyes, and I couldn't help but give a little thrust. Then down he went again. This time he worked me a little with his hand, and the sensations were exquisite, beyond anything I'd ever known before. It wasn't going to take much of this before I exploded, and I told him so. To my amazement, it made no difference to him. He kept on sucking. He went back up to the head, and sucked gently, concentrating on the tip. His slender hand began moving up and down on my shaft; his mouth worked his magic on my glans.

"It's going to happen Tad, very soon!"

He took his mouth off and said, "You can cum in my mouth, lover. I want you to." Then down he went again. I spread my legs open and relaxed, letting Tad suck my cock and take me anywhere he wanted me to go. I closed my eyes as an engulfing warmth spread through my body, its center at my cock. I felt a knot of pleasure-pain forming at the base of my penis. I felt Tad's warm hand and wet mouth drawing my essence. And then I came.

I grunted sharply as a bead of hot-sweet-sharp semen made its way up my cock and blasted into Tad's ever-so ready mouth. I was helpless in ecstasy as my orgasm roared through me. It was by far the most intense climax I'd ever experienced. I looked down to see Tad busily sucking and swallowing every drop of my cum. He finished and let my cock drop out of his mouth with a soft pop, then crawled up beside me on the bed. He kissed me and I kissed him back, hard. Smiling down at me, he asked, "Did you enjoy that, Cliff?"

"I've never felt anything like that," I said. "No woman has ever made me feel that way. It was like you totally accepted me. It was the best. I need to rest for a moment, but then I want to do you."

A few minutes later, I was ready. I laid my head on Tad's belly and looked at his semi-erect cock. I picked it up in my hand, then kissed it all over, from root to head, nuzzling it and feeling its warmth. Slowly it came to life in my hand. When it was hard, I once again took it into my mouth. Carefully, I sucked the head and glans, trying not to let my teeth touch it. While I did that, I played with his balls and worked the shaft a little. This was going to last, I told myself. Tad shifted a little and I felt his hand on my head. He ran his fingers through my hair. "Am I doing it right?" I asked. "You're doing just fine," he replied.

I shifted forward and took a little more. I wanted to get the whole thing in my mouth if I could. The press of the head against the back of my throat made me gag a little, so I backed off. I let myself fully experience what I was doing. There was nothing in the world but his cock and my mouth and what I was doing to him. He began moaning and I responded. I picked up the pace and worked my mouth up and down over the shaft. Tad tensed. He was close to cumming. I heard him say, "Finish me off with your hand, baby." Reluctantly, I took him out of my mouth but licked the tip as I jacked him off. Tad thrust a little, and then his hot warm cum spewed out. Most of it ran down my hand, but some of it got on my lips. I took a little into my mouth. It had a salty, alkaline taste. The smell was also a bit alkaline. Not unpleasant. Tad was uttering quiet grunts as his cum pumped out. I jacked his cock a little more, then stopped, knowing that it would be getting sensitive now.




A Bend in the Road



Now I was left with the sticky aftermath of our lovemaking. Unlike Tad, who'd swallowed me, I had to clean up a little. I disengaged myself slowly from him and walked shakily to the bathroom. I came back with a washcloth, cleaned up the mess, and crawled into bed beside him.

"How did I do?" I asked.

"Not bad for a first-timer. You've never sucked a cock before, have you?"

"Well, when I was younger, I did a little experimenting. Let's just say that I've had a cock in my mouth before, but I never finished the job." I actually felt a little embarrassed at telling him this. I had just sucked him off, and telling my gay lover about former experiences had caused me to blush a little.

Tad smiled at me and caressed me gently. He turned on his side. I put my arm around him and drew him close. "I really don't know how to feel," I said. "I suppose that I've been harboring these feelings for a long time, yet never really acknowledged them. I always thought that I was straight, through and through. I believed that the things I did in my youth were aberrations, nothing more. I guess not. I guess they were actual desires coming to the surface."

"I've been like this for as long as I can remember," Tad said. "I don't know any other way to be. I'm under no illusions as to what I am, or what I want."

"Have you ever been with a woman?" I asked.

"I tried it once, but it didn't work. To me, a woman's genitals just aren't appealing. I mean, the smell and the moisture and the hair. It all just seems so unsanitary. Yuck. I like a good, hard cock. But that's not everything. I like men because of the way we are. Women make good friends, but men are much more to my liking as lovers. We know what we want. We want to get off. If a man's cock is hard—hell, even if it isn't—I can get him off. Not so much foreplay bullshit. I don't have to spend weeks or even months cultivating a relationship before I can get a man in bed. And baby, if you cum, I'll know it. Just like I'll know it if you don't cum. No faking. I hate that about women. Some men claim that they can always tell if a woman is faking her orgasms. Bullshit. I know women who've never had an orgasm, and yet their husbands and boyfriends believe they're satisfying them every time they make love. Let me tell you, honey, a man believes what he wants to believe. If she makes enough noise, he'll think she just had the best orgasm in the history of orgasms, while all she wants to do is read a fucking romance novel."

"Wow," I said. "That's a bit cynical, Tad. I hope you don't feel that way about me."

"Cliff," he said gently, "you are my lover, and special to me. Yes, I've been around the block a few times. I've been used a few times, by men and women. But I've never cheated on a lover. I will not cheat on you. And as long as you treat me well and are honest with me, you will have my heart and my loyalty." He grasped my cock gently, and fondled it until it was hard. "Now," he said have you ever had anal sex?"

"Yes, with a woman."

"Well, you've never had it yet, until you've had it with me. Have you got any lube?"

"I believe I've got some K-Y around here. Funny, I never got rid of it."

"Then find it," Tad said, "I want your cock up my butt."

I looked in the bedside drawer and found the tube. Tad got into position, his butt in the air, his butthole fully exposed. From this angle, it looked like a woman's ass, except the opening was maybe a little hairier. I put a glob of lube on his asshole, and some on my cock, and got behind him. From the times I'd done this with women, I knew to go slow. I placed the tip of my cock against the opening, and pushed forward slowly. Tad pushed back, which surprised me a little. Normally, when I had done this with women, they'd resisted or protested, or made me feel like they were doing me a huge favor. Not so with Tad. Before I knew it, the head of my cock was inside. Now Tad was taking deep breaths and moaning a little. "Is it too much?" I asked anxiously.

"No baby, you're doing it just right," he whispered. Then Tad pushed back again, and my whole cock was swallowed up by his butthole. "That feels good," Tad said. "I so love a nice hard dick in my ass. Stroke me a little, lover." I started moving back and forth, grasping him by the hips. He was very smooth and warm. "Now hold up a minute. Stay deep," he said.

He got very tight around me. I mean really snug. And then he began moving back and forth. Tad was milking my cock, loosening up on the downstroke, and tightening on the upstroke. It felt wonderful. He pulled up a little, and his hole danced around the head of my cock a few times, then he plunged back down. I moaned loudly. I heard him chuckle and say, "Pretty good, huh?" "You have no idea, Tad," I managed to get out. "That's just it," he said, "I do have an idea." He slowed his rhythm a little to let me catch my breath. I caught his hips again, and thrust into him over and over. I pulled back and worked the head into his asshole, then shoved my cock back in. It was feeling very hot and good down there, and I was going to cum soon.

"Oh baby," I'm gonna cum," I exclaimed.

"Go ahead! Don't hold back! Give me that hot cum!"

He leaned up and back, and I felt his hand come around and grasp my ass, pulling me closer. I put my arm across his chest and we kissed. I reached around and grasped his hard cock, jerking it a little. But to be honest, I couldn't concentrate. I was so close to cumming that I let go, took hold of his hips, and fucked him for all I was worth. He went back down on his elbows and took it like a man.

A familiar tingle in my groin signaled to me that I was very close. I slowed a little, enjoying the feeling of his tight, hot anus around me. I worked the head a little more, then plunged in. Suddenly I felt the cum bubbling up my shaft. I cried out loudly and jerked spasmodically as Tad took the second load of my cum that night. Jetting into his asshole, I felt for a second like I was leaving my own body. The rush of pleasure was something I'd never felt before. Tad was once again tightening and loosening, milking every drop out of me. Somehow, he'd known just when I was climaxing, and he was doing his best to make it as pleasurable as possible for me. Needless to say, it worked.

When my long, intense climax was over, I collapsed into bed beside him. "I'm getting too old for this," I sighed. Tad snuggled up to me and kissed me on the shoulder.

"Very satisfying," he said.

"Very," I said.

"I can see that you're tired. Sleep now, honey. We'll talk in the morning."

I hardly heard the last few words.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. I lay there quietly, going over in my head what had happened the night before. I could hear Tad bustling around in the kitchen. I hoped he was making coffee. Then, nature called and I got up to pee. I washed my face and hands and ran a bath cloth over my cock and balls. I brushed my teeth. Then, still a little tired, I went back to bed. A few minutes later, Tad came in. He was wearing tightie whities and an undershirt. "Good morning!" he called out cheerily. He sat down on the bed and leaned in for a kiss. To my credit, I didn't hesitate. I kissed him warmly. "Well, that's a change," Tad remarked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, I've been with a few men on their first times, and usually they are a bit standoffish in the morning. You know what the song says, 'It's in his kiss.'"

"Well, I'll admit that I've got a few things to think about," I said, "but I don't regret what happened last night. Not one little bit."

"Good," Tad said, "then get something on and come eat. Unless you want me to take care of you right now." He whipped the covers back to reveal my semi-erect cock. He ran his finger down its length.

"No," I said, getting out of bed. "I'll come and eat." I put on a t-shirt and boxers and went into the kitchen. We had cereal, toast and coffee.

"I like to eat light in the morning, although I could make you something more," Tad said, crunching on toast.

"No, this is fine," I said.

"Good. When we're done, you can run me home."

I looked at him. "You don't have to go. We can spend the day together."

"Listen Cliff," Tad said, putting a hand on my arm. "It's been my experience that, after the first night, if we've had sex, most of my older lovers like to think about it for a while. It's all so new to them that they have to mull it over. Right now, you're probably thinking about last night and how good it was. I'm thinking about it too. But later, since you're not a gay man, you'll have second thoughts. I don't want you getting in too deep when you're not ready. So you can take me home this morning and call me later this week."

I started to protest, but then I realized that he was right. The boner I was sporting right then was the result of my thinking about what had happened between us the previous night. It would be better for both of us for me to consider where I wanted this relationship to go.

"I suppose you're right," I said. "I want you to know that I want this to continue. But I'll do what you say and think about it. And I'll call you later this week."

He smiled at me. "Good. Now, big boy, would you like me to take care of that hard-on I know you've got?"

I grinned. "How did you know that I have a hard-on?"

"My lovers always have a hard-on in the morning. They can't seem to get enough of me," he said, laughing a little.

"I know exactly how they feel," I said. Tad took me by the hand and led me back to the bedroom.

He sat on the edge of the bed and said, "Come over here."

I stood in front of him, my erection making a tent of my boxers. "What have we here? Oh my goodness, Cliff has a problem that he needs taken care of. Well, I am a nurse after all." He pulled my shorts down, exposing my nice thick cock. "Oh yes, let's see what we can do here."

Tad took the head of my cock into his mouth and began sucking me gently. "I'm going to have to lie down," I managed to say before my knees buckled.

I kicked off my shorts and lay down on the bed. Tad crawled up between my legs and parted his lips over my cock. He swirled his tongue around the head, then plunged down, taking half my length into his wet, warm mouth. "I love sucking a cock in the morning," he gasped, before plunging down again. When he came back up, he tugged with his slender hand. With just the right amount of speed and pressure, Tad sucked and tugged on my prick until, with a strangled whisper, I managed to say, "Oh baby! I'm going to cum very soon." He plunged once again onto my raging, rock-hard phallus, this time taking its full length into his sucking eager mouth. He stayed like that for a few seconds, then came up, took a breath and went back down. I could feel every caress of his talented tongue. This time, I felt my orgasm building powerfully. Down Tad went, and up ratcheted my excitement. Finally, with little warning, I climaxed, shooting gob after gob of thick hot gooey cum into Tad's mouth. He caught and swallowed most of it, but some ran down my prick onto his hand.

"Oh Lordy, Cliff! I didn't think you had it in you," he said looking at me. There was a little splatter of semen on his lower lip. I saw his tongue snake out and lick it up.

"I usually don't. But this is a special occasion."

He took me back into his mouth and cleaned me thoroughly. Then he sat back on his heels, patted my thigh and said, "Okay, big boy, time to take me home."

I reluctantly got up and got dressed. To be sure, I was full of conflicting emotions. But I also knew that I would be calling him later in the week. When I pulled up in front of his apartment, I pulled him close and kissed him long and sensuously. I wanted him to know that it wasn't going to end there. I wanted him to know how I felt. He kissed me back the same, then broke the kiss, patting my chest and saying, "Whew! We'd better stop or I'm going to have to change my policy." Then he got out. He gave a little wave, then walked lightly over to his apartment.

* * *

I'd like to say that I couldn't resist calling him right away, but it wouldn't be true. Tad had been right, I needed time to think. I wondered if I'd been gay all along, but had not realized it. I doubted that, since, as I said before, I'd always enjoyed pussy. I loved women, while at the same time I knew perfectly well how aggravating they could be. My ex had been, on the whole, a good wife. But she had also been a bitch sometimes who had bartered affection (if not sex) for money and used premenstrual syndrome and her monthly period to treat me like shit and even lash out at the kids. At times, I was amazed that we had ever married in the first place. We basically had nothing in common by the time we were divorced. I was getting nothing out of the marriage, and neither was she, even though she wouldn't admit it. It was a relief for both of us when we split up. It is possible that my marriage had colored my feelings toward women. During the marriage, I'd been tempted, but never slept with another woman. I had looked at them and seen my wife looking back at me through their eyes. Even if I had started a relationship with one of the women I knew, how long would it be before they started acting like her?

I couldn't deny the physical attraction to Tad. Though not muscle-bound, he was very fit. His skin was smooth and the muscles beneath were hard. He had very little hair, just a little sprinkling in his pubic area and on his arms and legs. He had great eyes and a sensuous mouth. I loved his smile and his sense of humor. Tad had fine light-brown hair and a discreet spray of freckles across his nose. In short, he was for me, the perfect man.

What would my children and ex-wife think if they found out about us, though? That was a sticky one. In a perfect world, I would have spent as much time as possible with Tad and said to hell with the rest. But the world is not perfect. So, I had to figure out whether what I got from being with my male lover was worth what I was going to pay.

Tad had already been hurt before when a former lover had left him and gone back to his family. No worries there—I had no family to go back to. What Tad was really scared of was being used, hurt and abandoned. Well, isn't that a fear that we all have? I certainly didn't want it to happen to me. While my ex would probably smile sarcastically and say "I knew it" when she heard (and she would hear, eventually) that I'd gone with a gay man, it would probably hurt my children. Wendy and David were both in their twenties now, and out on their own. They were both modern adults, and liberal in their thinking, but how would they react to this? I could only imagine that learning their father was engaged in a homosexual relationship would, to coin a phrase, "rock their world," and not in a good way. On the other hand, they've got to have known how desperately unhappy both me and their mother had been. And while my ex had moved on with another man (good luck with that, by the way) I had been floundering of late. The relief of ending the marriage had not ended the loneliness. To tell the truth, I had been at a real low point when Tad came along. Now I realized that even as I pondered the ramifications of my relationship, there was a little voice deep inside of me that was singing. Singing with joy at having found Tad. I decided that I didn't really care what my ex-wife thought. That was the first thing. The second thing I decided was that, when the time was right, I would sit down with my children and tell them what had happened. I would tell them how I felt. I would be honest with them. I would open my heart to them and let the chips fall where they may. I was happy for the first time in a long time, and it was because of Tad. I wasn't going to let it go.

I had left Tad on Saturday morning. I made my decision on Sunday night. I didn't want to appear too eager, so I held off until Tuesday night before I called him. The phone rang twice, then his answering machine picked up. "Hi, this is Tad, leave me a message, please." I started to talk, but he picked up. "Hi Cliff," he said. "Sorry about the machine, but I'm screening my calls right now."

"Telemarketers?" I asked.

"Um, something like that. What's up?"

I was suddenly feeling awkward. Even though we'd made love, I still felt unsure of myself around him. I desperately wanted him, and I wanted him to want me. But I wasn't sure how Tad actually felt about me.

"Well, I've thought about us. I'm ready to continue with our relationship. Let's see how far it will take us." There, I'd said it. I hadn't actually told him that I was in love, but what I was feeling was certainly close to it.

"I'm glad to hear that," he said. But then he said nothing else.

"So? When can we get together? I'd really love to see you." I wondered why he was being so noncommittal.

"I'll tell you what. Call me later this week, maybe Friday night."

This struck me like a blow. Why was he putting me off? "Tad, is everything all right? I've thought about it and I want to be with you. Isn't that what you wanted?" I was starting to get upset.

Tad said, "Listen, I really like you. But I can't talk now. Call me later this week." Then he whispered into the phone, "We'll talk later this week. I promise."

"Okay," I managed to say, dumbfounded. As we hung up, I was left with the impression that someone else was with Tad, someone that he didn't want me to know about.

I managed to hold off until Friday night, but it was difficult. What I really wanted to do was confront Tad and say, "What the hell's the matter? I thought we had something!" But I managed to contain myself. On Friday evening, with (once again) trembling hands, I picked up the receiver and called. He picked up as soon as I started speaking.

"Hi Cliff," he said. He sounded okay, but maybe a little guarded.

"Hi Tad," I said. "How's it going? You left me a little worried the other night. Is everything all right?"

"Well Cliff, it's a little complicated. Look, let's meet somewhere where we can talk."

"Why don't I just come over? Or, why don't you come over here? I'll fix us a nice dinner. We'll have wine, listen to a little music and ...talk."

To my great relief, I heard Tad laugh. "Is that all you want, Cliff? To talk? Sounds like a seduction to me."

"I won't lie to you, Tad, I want you. But you're calling the shots tonight. If all you want is to talk, then that's what we'll do." I waited anxiously for his reply.

"I'll be over in twenty minutes," he said. I took a breath for the first time in five minutes.

"Great," I said. "I'll have everything ready."

"I'll bet you will," he said, and hung up.

I had already showered and put on cologne in hopes we would see each other tonight, so all I had to do was chill some wine and make some dinner. I put a nice sparkling white wine in the freezer, making a mental note to get it out before it froze. Then I put a turkey breast in the oven to roast. I set out brie and crackers, lit candles, and tossed a nice fresh salad. I made a pan of wild rice with mushrooms, and got the coconut cake I'd bought earlier that day out of the refrigerator. I brewed a pot of strong coffee as well, his favorite brand. These were all things that I knew Tad liked. I put in a CD that I also knew he liked, and had just pushed play when there was a knock at the door.

I opened the door and there he was, dressed in pressed corduroy jeans, an ecru dress shirt and his standard penny loafers. He looked great. I told him so. "Thanks," he said, giving me a big smile.

"It's so good to see you," I said.

"It's good to see you, too," he replied.

I gave him a big hug, feeling him against me, smelling his scent. He was warm and firm and he hugged me back, for which I was immensely grateful.

"There's cheese and crackers on the table, if you're hungry," I said. I suddenly remembered the wine in the freezer; thankfully it hadn't frozen. It opened with a pop, and I poured two glasses. It was a little sweet, but mainly bubbly and tart. The wine and cheese were a good match.




A Bend in the Road



"You splurged," Tad said, eating a little cheese and sipping wine.

"Well, I hadn't seen you in a few days. I wanted it to be special." I looked at him. "I want all our times to be special."

He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder. "Me, too."

The rest of the night went well. We ate well of the turkey, rice, and salad. After dinner, I pressed a small piece of cake and a cup of coffee on him. We talked about work, about politics, about sports. I poured another cup of coffee and we took it into the living room. I put on a long Beach Boys CD and turned down the lights. On the couch, we turned to each other. I played with his hair. "After what happened last week, I did a little soul-searching," I began.

"You did? And what did you find?" He looked into my eyes, then looked away.

"I found that I don't care what other people say or think. I don't care what my children or my ex-wife thinks. I just want to be with you. To tell you the truth, I can't believe that I'm saying it, but it's true: I just want you."

"Cliff, do you know that the hardest person I had to come out to was myself? All through my teenage years, I denied to myself who and what I really was. I figured that I hadn't met the right woman. When I met her, I would want her the way other men wanted women. But it never happened. Oh, I had plenty of opportunities, but it just wasn't right. Instead, I just thought about men. Finally, when I was twenty, I admitted to myself that I was gay. And it was like, 'Oh, what a relief!' I could finally relax."

"Well," I said, "I'm not exactly relaxed right now. In fact, I'm excited. I'm always excited around you. I don't think I've ever felt this way before, with any woman. As a matter of fact, Tad, I'm going to explode if I don't kiss you right now."

I leaned in and our arms went around each other. We kissed fiercely, passionately. I wished it would never end. "Tell me that you want me too, Tad."

"Oh I do, Cliff. I do!"

We left our coffee on the table and hurried to the bedroom.

Laughing, smiling, we undressed each other. I kicked off my shoes and took his off. I unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his chest. Off came the shirt. I reached for his belt and undid it. "Oh baby, what am I going to find when I pull your pants down?" 

"Pull them down and find out," he whispered huskily.

I knelt in front of Tad, undid his pants, and pulled both his pants and underwear down at the same time. His cock jumped out. "Oh lord, it looks so good," I said, taking it in my hand. I licked the head and kissed the shaft, nuzzling it eagerly. "Get naked, Cliff," Tad said, and I quickly undressed. We fell on the bed together, kissing. Our tongues darted into each other's mouths. Tad kissed my neck, his hot lips tracing a lazy trail down to my nipple. I moaned in pleasure—it had seemed forever since we last made love. He moved down to my stomach, then lower, and I felt his breath on my cock. A warm, wet, appreciative tongue slid from the head of my cock to the root, then back up, where he engulfed me with his ardent mouth. A wave of feeling washed over me and I let out another groan. Tad worked his hand up and down the shaft, causing me to grunt. I took it as long as I could, then said, "Baby, if you keep doing that, I'm going to cum too soon. Let's change positions."

We shifted so that we were lying on our sides, each one facing the other's crotch. Now we could suck each other. After a little rearranging, we were set. I took Tad's sizable cock into my mouth, enjoying its smoothness and warmth, and sucked hard, trying to keep my teeth from grazing him too much. (After all, I was inexperienced.) At the same time, I was experiencing the most delicious sensations myself as Tad worked on me. We were both giving out with little cries of ecstasy. It was, for me, the most divine sexual experience I'd ever had. Tad knew exactly how to suck my cock. He alternated hard and soft, knew just when to let up and nibble on my shaft, then when to plunge back down and take to whole thing to its root. I was hard put to keep up with him. At times, I just wanted to lie back and enjoy what he was doing. But I wanted to give as good as I was getting, so I gamely kept sucking.

Tad took his mouth off and said, "Let's try something different."

"Anything," I said.

"Have you got any baby oil?" he asked.

"I believe so," I said. "Should I get it?"

"Get it and bring it to bed."

I got up and rummaged around in my bathroom cabinet. In the back was a bottle of baby oil that Margaret had kept. I brought it to bed.

"Have you ever heard of frottage?" Tad asked.

"No," I said.

"It's called cock-to-cock. We rub our cocks together. That way we get to lie on each other and look each other in the eyes. Here, I'll show you."

We sat up in the bed, facing each other. Tad poured a little oil into his hand, then took my cock into his hand and rubbed me down with it. He poured a little on his cock, too. Then, we scooched closer together so that our cocks were side-by-side, touching. "Now," he said, "take both cocks in your hand and start masturbating us together."

What a feeling! Unusual and sexy, at the same time. I loved looking at our two cocks next to each other, touching each other. It was like they were making love. Tad leaned in and we kissed. He placed his hand on top of mine and we stroked our cocks together. We fell to our sides, stretched out, and began making love again. "Get on top of me, lover. I want to feel you on top of me," Tad said. He opened his legs and soon our oil-slippery cocks were trapped between our bodies, rubbing against each other, and our bellies. I felt his hand grasp us both while I was moving against him. Our mouths were glued together. We were fucking face to face! "I'm not going to be able to keep this up for long," I managed in a strangled whisper, between kisses. "Me neither," Tad said. "Let's try to cum together, baby. I want to mix our sperm." I groaned with pleasure when he said that.

We went for it. Tad held us with just the right pressure. I could feel, with my cock, the shaft and head of his cock gliding against me. His eyes were closed, his mouth open. He was clearly deeply in the throes of pleasure, as was I. I never wanted that moment to end. I wanted always to be there, with my lover Tad. I felt the familiar tingling that told me I was about to climax. "Oh baby, I'm going to cum soon!" I said. "Go for it, I'm with you." Tad said. A few more strokes and I cried out as the semen burst from my cock, drowning me in pleasure. There was suddenly something hot and sticky between us. The smell of my sperm hit me, heightening my ecstasy. Tad grunted and released his cum then too. I could feel it jetting between us, mixing with mine, joining us together.

We went a few more strokes, until it became too intense, then fell back side by side. There was semen everywhere. We were both heaving huge sighs, replete with happiness and sex. I looked up at our bodies. "We made a mess," I laughed.

"We sure did."

I rested a few more minutes, letting my breathing return to normal, then got up and wet a washcloth with warm water. I cleaned us both, then crawled into bed and pulled the sheet up around us. "Are you going to stay the night?" I asked.

"If you want me to."

"Of course I want you to. Tad?"

"Yes?"

"I...uh, nothing."

"No, what is it?"

"Nothing. I'll tell you in the morning."

We slept, for a while. During the night, I got the urge to suck his cock. I carefully got over him and pulled the covers back. Tad was on his back, his arms thrown back over his head. It was if he abandoned himself to sleep. His cock lay against his belly, semi-hard. It was a nice cock, I thought. Not too big, or too small, and nicely shaped. As I said before, Tad was cut, with a perfectly proportioned head. I picked it up gently, handling it. It got hard almost immediately. Tad, in his sleep, swiped at my hand, and I dropped it, but then I picked it up again. I gently kissed it from root to tip, smelling his skin and the residue of our lovemaking. I moved my hand up and down slightly. It got harder. Taking a deep breath, I placed my mouth over the head and sucked gently. Tad shifted a little, to give me better access. I hoped that he was having an erotic dream, and that I was the star. I plunged my mouth over him, taking as much of his erection as I could get into my mouth. I sucked hard, tasting a little pre-cum as I did so. Tad groaned a little. Was he still asleep? It was hard to tell. His eyes were still closed. But then I looked again and saw him smiling, still with his eyes closed.

I chuckled, mouth full of Tad's cock. He said, "Didn't you get enough earlier?"

I reluctantly took my mouth off long enough to say, "Sorry man, but I'm a bit besotted with you. I've missed you the past few days, and I'm going to make the most of our time together."

"Well, from the look of my cock, and what I'm feeling, you are certainly a fast learner."

I looked at him. "I want to drink your cum," I said.

"Do you think you're ready to swallow a man's semen?" he asked.

"I think I'm ready to swallow yours," I replied.

He smiled, and opened his legs wider for me. I got down to business. I used every trick I had ever experienced while getting my own cock sucked. I nibbled the shaft like a corn cob, swirled my tongue around the head, flicked the glans, and took him as deeply as I could. Tad groaned and thrust into my mouth. I could tell I was getting to him. It made me feel proud and a little powerful. I had this beautiful man under my control. I was in control of his pleasure. I was the giver, and I was joyfully giving him the best I could. I found it deeply gratifying.

Keeping my mouth on him, I gently grasped his shaft and began tugging at him, while moving my mouth up and down on his head. I knew this would be very intense, so I took it easy for a little while, but gradually I increased the speed and pressure. "Oh baby, suck my big hard cock!" Tad hissed. I gurgled in reply, anxious now for his rush of semen. I had decided to let it spurt down my throat. I didn't know if I was ready for the taste, but one way or another, Tad was cumming in my mouth.

He threw his arms back over his head, spread his legs even wider, thrusting into my avid mouth. He moaned continuously now, and I could tell he was very close. I paid attention to his breathing. When he started gasping in short, sharp breaths, I got ready to receive his essence. Sure enough, Tad grunted, tensed, and said "Oh baby, here it comes!" His cock seemed to swell and then I tasted the slightly alkaline flavor of my lover's semen as it jetted over my tongue. Tad grunted with every spurt, and I sucked gently, milking him dry with my hand and my mouth. I swallowed as fast as I could, and got most of it down. The residue that remained in my mouth did not really taste that bad after all. I crawled up beside him in bed and kissed him deeply. Our tongues swirled together, and he drew mine into his mouth.

"Well, what did you think?" he asked.

"I thought you tasted wonderful. I want to do it again, lots of times."

He smiled at me, and we fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning, Tad was up before me. I showered and put on a robe. He was in the kitchen making coffee. I loved to see him moving in my kitchen. He seemed very much at home. I allowed myself a little fantasy for a few moments.

We had coffee together. I felt so happy to be with him. He looked so good in the morning. I was gazing into his eyes when he said, "Cliff, I have something to tell you."

His tone jolted me back to reality. "What?" I asked, suddenly anxious.

"The other night, when you called, I wasn't alone."

"You weren't? Who were you with?" I asked the question, but I already knew the answer before he told me.

"Do you remember the doctor I told you about? The one I had a relationship with?"

Tad was holding his coffee cup tightly, and looking down.

"Don't say it, Tad, please," was all I could get out.

"You don't understand, Cliff. He's separated from his wife. For good this time. He swears he's never going back to her. He needs me, Cliff."

"I don't fucking believe you are saying this, Tad! You are the one who warned me against hurting you! And now this! Shit! He's probably just going to hurt you again." I was so hurt and angry that I couldn't look at him. Tears sprang to my eyes.

"Listen, Cliff. I want you to know that I'll always..."

"Don't say it, dammit!" I was suddenly utterly defeated, overcome by hurt. I looked at him. For the first time I noticed that he was fully dressed. 

"I suppose I'd better go," he said, getting up.

"Yes, I suppose you'd better." I still couldn't look at him.

I heard the door close and his car start. Then Tad was gone.

I spent the next three weeks in a fog of sorrow. It hurt so bad that I could hardly stand it. Even the people I worked with noticed. My friend Ron, who worked at the courthouse, tried to snap me out of it. We had a "boys' night out" with beer and football. He even tried to fix me up with his sister. But I had changed. Out of habit, I still looked at women, but they honestly didn't interest me in the same way as before. Being with Tad had outed me, at least to myself. Not that I was interested in other men—yet. But I found that I could look at women dispassionately now, without being interested in them sexually.

And then, one day at the courthouse, deep into a complicated 40-year search of an obscure property in the middle of nowhere, my cell phone vibrated. It was a text message:

"You were right. I was wrong. Coming back to town. Would love to see you. Can we talk? Please call me. Tad.

With trembling fingers, I dialed his number. It rang. There was a click. "Hello?" he said. 



A Bend in the Road Ch. 02



The phone rang. I opened my eyes, disoriented for a few seconds. Then I remembered where I was. I was at Tad's, sleeping with him in his bed. The phone rang again, and Tad sleepily answered it.

"Hello?" he said. "Oh. Hi Chris. What's up? Oh. How bad is she? Is she on a ventilator? Okay. All right. I'll be there as soon as I can. Bye."

I glanced at the clock on the bedside table. 3:47 a.m. Phone calls at this time of night were never good. "What is it?" I asked.

"It's my Mom," Tad said. "She's sick and in the hospital."

"Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that," I said truthfully.

"Well, it's been coming for a while. She has COPD and doesn't always take very good care of herself." He lay back down in bed and turned to me. We kissed. We were both naked, and our flaccid cocks rubbed gently against each other.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"Well, I guess I'll have to call in for a few days and go to her. My family doesn't know much about medical things. We'll have to decide how to treat her and all that." Tad snuggled closer to me. We both started to get hard. I admit I was a little surprised. When my mother had been sick and died, my ex-wife and I hadn't had sex for a month. "In the meantime," Tad said, "I need to get some more sleep. It's a three-hour drive back home and I'll need to leave this morning." He reached down and gripped my erection gently. "Don't worry baby, I'll take care of you before I go."

"Tad, I'll never refuse sex with you, but if you'd rather not..." I started to say.

"No, Cliff. I want to. I know how to take care of my man. Now, spoon me and let's get back to sleep."

I turned on my side and snuggled up close to Tad. As I drifted off to sleep, my still-excited butthole reminded me of what had happened the evening before.

I had picked Tad up at his apartment and we'd gone out to a dinner and movie, just the usual Friday night date stuff. We'd gone to a nice Italian restaurant and had pasta and a spicy red wine, but Tad said not to order dessert, because he had something special for me at his place. The movie had been okay, some romantic comedy which Tad liked, but which I probably wouldn't have gone to if I hadn't been with him. I didn't mind, though, because we held hands the whole time and Tad smelled great. I kept inching closer to him all through the movie just to catch his scent. By halfway through, I had a hard-on made of steel, and Tad noticed. Now Tad was nothing if not discreet, but he did pass his hand briefly over me and give a little squeeze.

"Looks like we have a problem to take care of when we get home, don't we?" he whispered to me.

All I could manage was a strangled unintelligible groan.

After the movie, when we got into the car, I leaned across and kissed him, hard, on the mouth. "Ooh now, big boy! Concentrate on your driving," Tad said with a smile. "I promise you an evening to remember when we get home."

We got to his apartment and Tad made me wait on the couch while he made coffee. I could hear him bustling in the kitchen while NPR played on his radio. For some reason, that evening it was vaguely irritating to me. After awhile, Tad brought out coffee and two plates. On each plate was a beautiful piece of cheesecake. I noticed that Tad's was quite a bit smaller than mine.

"Ta-da!" Tad said proudly. "Homemade cheese cake. What do you think?"

"It looks great," I said.

"Well, go ahead. Try some," he said.

I took a bite and it was just right. Creamy and a little tart with a hint of lime. I must have mentioned at some point that I liked cheesecake and Tad had made me one. "It's delicious, Tad," I said. "Really good."

Tad sat beside me on the couch, turned toward me, hands on his knees. I looked at him, thinking what an attractive man he was. As I did so, I saw a hint of color touch his cheeks and he looked away. "Thank you for the cake," I said quietly.

"You're welcome, Cliff," he said. "I don't want it ever to be said that I didn't feed my man properly."

I leaned over and kissed him gently. His lips were soft and searching, his tongue inquisitive, but not pushy. "I should drink my coffee before it gets cold," he said, a little flustered.

We finished our coffee and cake and sat quietly on the couch for a while. Although our relationship was still new, I felt so right about it. I bathed in Tad's love and warm regard.

"Are you going to stay the night?" he asked, lips against my ear.

"Just try to kick me out," I said. I turned toward him on the couch and took him into my arms. There was the breathless moment, the long second just before we kissed. I looked at him. His mouth was slightly open, his eyes closed. He was ready for my kiss, and I was ready to kiss him. Our mouths came together. Tad took my tongue into his mouth, sucking on it gently. His lips were firm-soft, gentle and seeking. I wanted more, and bore down a little. Tad gave a little moan and gave in completely to me. My cock immediately sprang to attention. I loved the way he responded to me.

We came up for air. "I think we should take this to the bedroom," he panted.

Without a word, we moved to his bedroom, turning off lights as we went. In no time at all, we were naked together in his big warm bed.

Tad's body fascinated and excited me. It was hard and soft at the same time. Tad worked out regularly (and made me work out with him). There was no way to miss his masculine musculature. He had great abs and pecs and biceps. But he also had the softest skin I've ever felt. Even softer than a woman. He was also nearly hairless. His pubic hair was neatly groomed, and he had little in the way of chest or armpit hair. When I kissed him, his skin tasted sweet.

Foreplay was sweet and long, with lots of kissing and touching. I loved the way Tad handled my cock. But he was also good with his hands in other ways. He was firm while kneading my shoulders and deft and gentle with my neck and face. He loved to squeeze my buttocks together and grind against me, something that made me reel with pleasure. Tad also uttered little moans and grunts while we loved, something that heightened my excitement.

Tonight, I wanted Tad in my mouth, so I slowly moved down his stomach to where his hard, eager cock waited. I nuzzled it ardently, inhaling its smell, giving it little kisses up and down the shaft. I circled the head with my tongue, feigning swallowing it, then went back down the shaft again. When I could stand it no longer, I quickly went back up the shaft and engulfed Tad's cock with my mouth. I moaned as his warm, hard rod filled me. I was totally in love with his cock. Cock-drunk, that's what I was. I sucked him hard, then slurped him juicily while using my hand on him. A faint saltiness reached me. Pre-cum, that's what I was tasting. I wanted more, and sucked him a little harder.

Tad was starting to moan continuously and I thought happily, here comes my reward, my mouthful of Tad-cum. But then I felt his hands on my face, gently lifting me off. I disengaged reluctantly, still enraptured over his cock, and looked questioningly at him. "Cliff, baby," he said smiling, "I want your butt tonight."

I swallowed hard. Tad and I had been together for a little over a month. We had made love lots of time, but until now, I had always been the one who put my cock into Tad's bum. So, I was a little nervous, but totally willing to have him do it, if it would make him happy.

"Okay," I said. "How do you want me?"

"On your hands and knees, baby, with your butt up in the air," he replied with a somewhat evil glint in his eye.

I got on my hands and knees and stuck my hairy butt right up at Tad. I felt his breath on my butthole, followed by a quick, light sweep of his tongue. "Oh yes," I heard him murmur. The next thing I felt was a cold glop of lubricant on my asshole. My heart lurched a little. Now, I confess that at times during my life, I've stuck things up my butt when masturbating. But they'd always been little things: candles and things like that. I'd never experienced anything really big before and, while Tad wasn't huge, he had a respectably sized cock.

"You're my first, Tad," I said. "Please be gentle with me."

"Don't worry, Cliff. I'll be gentle with you. But I'm horny tonight and I need to fuck."

The next thing I knew, I felt the end of his cock against the puckered opening of my butthole. I shifted a little, giving him a better angle. I could feel myself giving way to his slow, steady pressure. It started to hurt a little.

"That hurts a little," I said.

"Okay," Tad said. "I'll slow down."

I don't think he slowed down. But, at least he didn't speed up. He continued his slow, insistent pressure on my asshole. Slowly, he wedged the tip of his well-lubricated cock into me. It didn't exactly feel good, but it didn't feel bad either. It just felt...big.

"Slow, baby, slow!" I grunted.

No answer from Tad. He was concentrating. I remembered the handful of times I'd taken my ex-wife's asshole. She had not really enjoyed it, but when I was doing it, I did not care. I was totally focused on getting into that thing. And, let's face it, it felt good on my cock. A butthole feels different from a pussy. Tighter, more muscular, and just plain more naughty.

There was a rush of feeling as the head of Tad's cock popped past the opening. I groaned in mixed pleasure-pain. "How's that, Cliff?" Tad said archly.

"Okay," I grunted, but don't shove it in yet. Let me get used to it."

Tad held still while my ass stopped freaking out. After a couple of minutes, it settled down, and I said, "Okay, baby, push him on in."

Tad needed no more urging. He pushed the rest of his slippery prick as deeply into my ass as he could. I groaned again. This was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I was glad he had used a lot of lube. I could feel his pubic hairs rubbing against the cheeks of my ass. Then he started thrusting, and I was nearly overwhelmed by the sensation. My own cock began to swell. Tad gripped me by the hips and I buried my face into the pillow, grunting with every thrust. I shifted a little to give him a better angle and take him deeper. My asshole was definitely getting stretched tonight. At first, it felt a little bad, but then it began to feel better. Warmer and more intimate. I felt very, very close to Tad. He withdrew until he was almost out, twirled around some, then plunged back in. He varied his strokes, sometimes going deep, other times shallow. All the time, he kept murmuring and muttering "Oh baby, yes! Your butt feels so good, Cliff! I really needed this tonight, lover! I hope you're ready for some cum, 'cause I'm gonna give you a real load!"

Totally into it by now, I replied in kind, "Yeah, baby? Are you going to give me all your hot cum? Oh Tad, it feels so good!" Just when I didn't think it could feel better, it did. Tad bent down a little, hunching over me close and tight. I felt his hand close around my cock. He started jacking me off at the same time he was fucking me. I could feel the pre-cum dribbling out. Tad rubbed his thumb, slippery with my pre-cum, over the head of my cock. "Oh baby," I cried out, "that's gonna make me cum!"

"I'm really close now, Cliff. Does my big cock feel good in your tight ass?"

"Oh yes, yes baby! It does feel good, so good.!"

"Then I'm going to cum. Cum in your ass, Cliff darling. Oh! Ungg! Oh baby, here it cums!!" 

His movements got spastic and jerky. He had taken his hand off my cock and now gripped my hips again. He gave several inarticulate grunts and thrust deeply as his seed jetted from his cock into my asshole. Tad continued to thrust until exhaustion overtook him and he slipped out of me and collapsed to the bed.

I laid down beside him, my cock still rock-hard. My asshole was singing with his onslaught. I quickly gripped my cock and with a few strokes, masturbated until I had cum all over Tad's belly. There was a lot of semen, and I rubbed my cock in it, smearing it all around. The room was filled with the scent of asshole, and semen, and sex. Tad leaned over and kissed me roughly on the mouth, our tongues grappling. I confess I had never experienced him like this. 

I liked it, though.

"Whew! I needed that!" Tad said, breathing heavily.

"Man, I've never seen you like that," I said. "You were an animal."

"You mean, I wasn't your nice demure little gay lover?" he asked. "How did you like it?"

"I liked it. But it was...different." I was trying not to offend. I loved Tad, but tonight he hadn't been the Tad I knew. It would take a little getting used to.

"Don't get worried, Cliff. I'm not like that much. But sometimes, I just need to fuck, and I mean right then. Didn't your wife ever get that way?"

"Who, Margaret?" I snorted. "Not hardly. No, I actually liked being taken tonight. Let's do it again sometime."

"We will," he said drowsily, already drifting off to sleep.

We woke up about seven-thirty. We took turns going to the bathroom, as men have been doing since time immemorial, then climbed back into bed. We snuggled together for a few minutes, then Tad gently grasped my cock. I immediately started to get hard. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling.

"What have we here, a little problem?" he asked.

"You could say so," I murmured.

"Well, I guess I'll have to take care of it before I go."

Without further adieu, (which was one of the things I loved about Tad) he took me into him mouth and began sucking me gently. I lay back on the bed and enjoyed the sensations. At times like these, I couldn't help but compare Tad to my former wife. Margaret had been adequate in the sex department, but only just so. For example, when she'd go down on me, she'd hesitate and play around and take forever to actually do the thing. I believe she thought she was teasing me, but the message I was receiving was reluctance. She was hoping that I'd just fuck her and get it over with. Tad was completely different and much, much better. For one thing, Tad really loved to suck cock. For another thing, he was very good at it. With him, teasing was really teasing, and then he got down to business. Take now, for instance. Tad was kissing my cock up and down the shaft, nuzzling it lovingly. I could feel his lips and tongue tracing the route of the big vein on the underside. He nibbled on the tip and swirled his tongue around on it. Then he'd give me a few gentle tugs before plunging down and taking me into his mouth. Oh, and Tad had this thing he did with his teeth. When he was really into it, I would sometimes feel his teeth scrape me ever so gently. Not enough to hurt, but just enough to let me know they were there. It added a little danger to his fellatio.

I could feel his teeth now, along with the working of his throat, and his tongue traveling lazily over my cock. I groaned a little, closing my eyes and opening my body and mind up to the exquisite sensations. Tad hunkered down a little, laying his head on my belly. His fingers traced little trails of pleasure up and down my shaft and he played in the hairs on my balls. Then he took me gently in his hand and tugged three or four times, resulting in pulses of pleasure. I felt a momentary coolness as he disengaged briefly before swallowing me again.

"I'm going to cum very soon," I managed to say.

"Mmmmm," was what I got in return.

Tad started sucking and jerking me in earnest then. He wasn't rough or anything, but I knew that he meant business. He meant me to cum. Momentary coolness again. "Cum in my mouth, lover," he whispered before engulfing me. This time, Tad took me as deep as he possibly could. My entire cock was in his mouth. I could feel the back of his throat with the super-sensitive head. The pleasure was intense. I cradled his head gently, running my fingers through his fine hair. I couldn't help but thrust a little, get a little...bit...deeper. I felt like I was being transported to another plane of being. This plane contained only Tad and me and the feeling of losing myself in him, in his mouth.

Without realizing it, I was practically sobbing now. This had to be the best blowjob I'd ever gotten from anyone. I was completely spread-eagled on the bed. I had given myself over completely to Tad and the pleasure he was causing.

Finally, there came the little tickle of pleasure-pain that I always feel before ejaculating. It started at the base of my cock and grew and grew until it formed a little knot of feeling. Abstractly, I knew what it was. It was my semen gathering, growing in weight and quantity, ready to fly out of my cock. A few more sucks, a few more seconds, and I would cum gloriously into Tad's eager mouth.

The contractions started and it felt like I left my body as I flew away on a wave of pure pleasure and pumped bolt after bolt of hot, aching sperm into Tad's mouth. I grunted over and over again, past all control, thrusting gently. Tad moaned as I gave him my essence, sucking and swallowing, sucking and swallowing. Finally the pleasure became acute, almost painful. Tad sensed this immediately and pulled off, sucking hard as he did so. I was taking huge breaths, still riding the wave of pleasure as it subsided. Tad flopped beside me. He reached down and, in a few movements, masturbated to climax beside me. There was semen everywhere. Some little part of me was proud that Tad had mine inside him.

We lay like that for a few minutes, then Tad said, "Well, if I'm going, I'd better get packed."

"How long do you think you'll be gone?" I asked.

"Hopefully not more than three or four days," he said. "I suppose it depends on whether she gets better or not."

"Are there any old boyfriends at home that I should worry about?" I asked, half-jokingly.

He stopped and looked at me. "Nope," he said. "No old boyfriends. I never lived the lifestyle when I was at home."

"But your family knows you're gay," I said.

"They know. I told them years ago. Fortunately, it's just not an issue, at least with my immediate family."

Tad packed carefully for the next hour or so. He was always very picky about his clothes and his grooming, and he obviously didn't need my help. So, I went into the kitchen and made coffee. He didn't like to eat heavily before traveling, so we had bagels and cream cheese.

When he was ready to go, we stood at the door. "Okay, well, I'll see you in a few days," he said.

"Okay," I said.

We kissed, hard, then embraced for a long time. "I hope your mom's okay." I said.

"I hope so to. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"What about work?" I asked. "Do you need me to call them?"

"No. I'll take care of that. Well, I'd better get on the road." He picked up his bags and opened the door. We walked out to the car.

"Drive carefully, Tad. I mean that. Do you need any cash?"

"Gosh, Cliff, you sound like my Dad. No, I don't need any cash. I'll be fine."

"Okay. Call me tonight. If you can, I mean."

"Count on it," he said. He started to get in the car, then leaned in for one more kiss. I kissed him hungrily.

"I love you," I stammered. Tad looked at me and smiled, then made a kissing motion with his lips. He got into his car, backed out and drove away.

It was a beautiful Saturday morning. I was standing in the parking lot of my lover's apartment complex. He had just left, and I was looking at the rest of the weekend alone, without him. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with the rest of the day.

Wait a minute, I told myself. You've lived alone for a while. There are plenty of things to do, plenty of things to occupy yourself. There was housework and yard work and reading and a couple of movies you wanted to watch and you hadn't updated your Facebook page in forever. It would be all right, I told myself.

But I was still a little lonely.

Still, I couldn't very well make a fuss about this. Family came before everything. And, this was his mother, after all. At that moment, I sincerely hoped the old gal would be fine, and Tad would come back to me soon.




A Bend in the Road Ch. 02



I couldn't believe I had told him I loved him. It was true, of course. I did love Tad. I loved him both romantically, and as a friend.

I wished he had told me he loved me, too. But maybe he was just playing hard-to-get. He had been hurt in the past, after all. Maybe he wasn't sure. I could accept that. On the other hand, I couldn't accept that Tad was just stringing me along, that I was just a dalliance for him. His feelings seemed genuine.

In any case, I wouldn't know for a while. All I could do was wait and hope. I hoped it wouldn't be long.

The rest of the day was a bit dull. Tad and I were going to spend it together, having lunch and shopping, then home for a movie on the DVD player. But I went home instead and cleaned the house and did the laundry. I did go work out at the gym, and felt better for it. Tad called that evening and said that his mother was pretty sick. He wasn't sure how she was going to do or exactly how long he would be gone. She wasn't on life support yet, but she might be soon.

Sunday was equally dull. I hung around the house and watched sports on TV. I worked out again. I did a little paperwork to get ready for the week ahead. I had several title searches to do at the local courthouse, and a couple to do in the neighboring counties. I got the forms ready, watched a little more TV, drank a couple of beers on the porch, ate dinner and went to bed early.

The next morning, I was at the courthouse when it opened. The local searches were all short ones that wouldn't take too long. I knew the staffers and other abstractors at the courthouse, and we talked and joked a little while we worked.

There was a young woman there that I had seen only a couple of times, though. We were working together at a table when she introduced herself as Jenny and asked me a question. I helped her out and we started an on-again, off-again conversation that lasted until lunch.

"What are you doing for lunch?" she asked.

I looked down at her. She was petite, and cute, with short blond hair, a little turned-up nose (just the kind I like), and impish blue eyes.

"I'll probably go to the mall and get a plate of Chinese food," I said.

"Mind if I tag along?" she asked.

"Uh, no. I guess not." I said. I was a little surprised. I had meant to call Tad, or at least text him during my lunch break, but I supposed it could wait.

Jenny was a young paralegal, just out of school, working for a lawyer's office in town. This was her first assignment at the job and she was anxious to do well. I promised to help her as much as possible, given my schedule. I worked for several lawyers, doing their title work, and I had to get my work done as quickly and accurately as possible.

At five, the courthouse closed. As we were leaving, Jenny came to me and said, "Would you like to meet for a beer or something after I go to the office?"

I looked at her tight little body, her pretty face and her inviting smile and was tempted. But I said, "Not tonight. Maybe later. I have some stuff I need to do around the house. But thanks for asking."

"Okay," she said. She gave me a little wave and walked down the street towards her office. I walked to my car.

When I got home I poured myself a glass of wine and sat down at the kitchen table. I dialed Tad's number. "Hello?" he said when he came on the line.

"Hey," I said. "How's your mom?"

"Well, she's sick and they're considering moving her to ICU, but she's holding on. What's going on there?"

"Nothing, just the usual. It's kind of lonely around here." I tried not to sound like I was pouting too much. Damn it! I knew he had to go to his mother. I just missed him acutely.

"Well, hang in there. I'll be home in a few days—I hope."

"I miss you. And I meant what I said before you left," I said, knowing that he'd remember the three little words I'd uttered in the parking lot.

"I know you do, baby. I care about you, too. Oops, it's visiting hours. Let me go. We'll talk again tomorrow."

"Okay," I muttered, "bye."

"Don't sound so hangdog, Cliff. I'll be home soon." he said. "By for now," he said, and hung up.

I was left feeling worse than before I had called. He didn't really seem to be missing me at all, and here I was, in agony. Shit, this was worse than high school. It would have been better if he told me he loved me, too. But, apparently Tad wasn't going to commit to that, at least not yet. I didn't really blame him. Why say something if you don't mean it?

I spent the rest of the evening writing up my searches and getting ready for the next day. That's the thing about title abstracting. It's all about the paperwork.

I had been at work for about an hour the next morning when Jenny walked into the deeds room at the courthouse. She was wearing a rather short but pretty dress with multicolored diagonal stripes and three-inch heels. She carried a briefcase and a purse and her cell phone and her keys in her hand and she jingled a little as she walked by, giving me a wink. This caused a little stir in my belly and I smiled at her.

She came over and stood by me. Her perfume wafted over to me. She also brought in a little of the cool air from outside. "Hi Cliff. How's it going?" she said, with a little twinkle in her eyes.

I couldn't help but smile. "Just fine, Jenny. How about you?"

"Couldn't be better. I'm loving life today."

"Is that so? Why?"

She smiled up at me. (I'm not very tall, but Jenny was even shorter than me.) "Oh, I don't know. Just feelin' happy, I guess."

"Well, good. I hope you have a great day." I glanced back down at my work.

"Well, I can see that you're busy," she said. "We'll talk more later."

We worked all morning, sometimes even side-by-side at the same table, but did not talk much more. However, at a little past noon, she sat back in her chair, rubbed her eyes and said, "Whew! I need a break." She turned to me. "Cliff, let me take you to lunch."

My first impulse was to refuse. After all, I was the man and could buy my own lunch and hers, for that matter. But then I thought better of it. "Okay," I said. "Where are we going?"

"I'm in the mood for a steak sandwich. How about you?" she asked.

"Sounds great," I said. "Just let me get to a stopping point, and we'll go."

I spent the next ten minutes wrapping up a few things and getting ready to go. While I was doing so, I noticed that several of the other people in the room, staff and abstractors alike, were giving me sly looks. One of the older male abstractors whispered, "Lucky man" to me as I gathered up my papers. I looked at him quizzically.

We went to a place in the mall that sold steak sandwiches. During lunch, we talked about everyday things, mainly work. Jenny was 22, ambitious, and wanted to do well in this job. "What about you?" she asked. "Are you married? Do you have kids?"

As you can guess, this presented me with a problem. I could answer her question truthfully and honestly, but not really completely. I don't know why I answered her the way I did, but I told her that I was divorced from my wife and had two grown children. When she heard that I was divorced, I could swear that her eyes lit up a little. I did not tell her about Tad, or that I was in a same-sex relationship with him. Why? I don't really know. No, that's a lie. I do really know. There are actually a couple of reasons. The first is vanity. Jenny was young, pretty, and interested. For an older guy like me, that's a strong attractant. The second thing is that I wanted to think that I could be with Jenny, even if I chose not to. I could see the invitation in her eyes and I didn't want to ruin my chances. The last reason and the most troublesome was that, despite my joy at being with Tad, there must have been some part of me that wasn't ready to admit that I was gay. I didn't really feel gay, not that I even knew what that meant. I just knew that I was still attracted to women.

Jenny tilted her head, smiled at me impishly and asked, "So Cliff, are you dating someone right now?"

So help me, I blushed. I was caught. "Umm, yes. I guess I am," I managed to stammer.

"But they're out of town this week."

"Oh really," she said. "Is this an exclusive thing? Or are you seeing other people?"

"Well, up to this point, it's been an exclusive thing. I mean, I haven't seen anybody else while I've been seeing this person."

Jenny didn't seem put off at all. "Is she seeing anybody else?"

I could have corrected her then. But so help me, I didn't. Instead I said, "As far as I know, they are exclusive also."

Jenny took a bite of her sandwich, ate a french fry, and drank some of her drink. She appeared to be considering something. "Let me put something to you, Cliff. I like older guys. They are more mature and considerate. They know how to treat women. They have a little money to spend—not that that's really important to me. It's just nice when the guy can pay for a dinner or an evening out." Jenny reached over and put her hand over mine. "I like you, Cliff. You've been nice to me. You're pretty cute too, for an older guy. I'd like to be with you if we can make it happen. Your significant other doesn't even have to know if you don't want her to. What do you say?"

My heart was thudding in my chest. This might be the last time I would ever have a chance to be with a young, pretty woman. I was getting older, and pretty soon girls like Jenny wouldn't give me a second look. So I said, "What did you have in mind?"

She said, "I know it's the middle of the week, but why don't you come by my apartment this evening? We'll listen to some music and hang out for a while. Low-key stuff."

"Sounds good," I said. "I'll just go home and change and see you there."

"Don't do that," she said, chewing. "Just come over after work. I mean, you don't have anybody waiting for you at home, do you?"

Just then, I felt a little pang of anger at Tad. He had left me alone. He had even been a little short, and, in my mind at least, a little condescending to me on the phone. No, I didn't have anybody waiting for me at home. "No I don't," I said. "I'll follow you home. Shall we eat beforehand?"

"Why don't we just pick up some Chinese? I know a place on the way to my apartment." Jenny ate her last french fry, finished her drink and sandwich, and stood up. She glanced at her watch. "Crap. I've got to get back if I'm going to finish the property I'm working on."

"Yeah," I said. "Let's head back." I looked down at my meal. It was only half-eaten. I'd been so excited and wrapped up in Jenny that I'd barely eaten anything.

She drove us back to the courthouse. I noticed that she kept looking over at me and smiling. I myself noticed a distinct feeling of excitement. There was an anticipatory tingle in my groin. I wasn't sure, but I might get laid tonight!

The rest of the afternoon was a blur. We parted at the door to the deed room and went to our separate areas. From about one until five that afternoon, we worked quietly without talking. Both Jenny and I had tasks to finish.

At five minutes to closing, the deed room staff started shutting down the computers. I packed up my books and papers. Jenny did the same. I walked over to her and said, "I'm ready when you are."

"I have to run to the office for a few minutes. Do you want to come inside with me?" She was putting papers into a briefcase.

I thought for a second. "How about if I wait at your car? Then we can stop at the restaurant on the way to your apartment. I'll follow you home." I really didn't want to be seen in her law office. There were people working there that knew me.

She smiled at me and said, "As you wish. I'll only be a few minutes."

The law office Jenny worked for was right across the street from the courthouse. Jenny told me what kind of car she owned and while she went inside, I moved my car from the courthouse parking lot to the space beside her car. While I waited, I was experiencing mixed feelings. On the one hand, I was definitely excited. It was great to know that I was still attractive to at least some women. On the other hand, I was definitely in danger of cheating on Tad. I knew it would hurt him if he ever found out. Of course, I fooled myself into thinking that this was all innocent. We would go to her place, eat Chinese, hang out, and I would come home, no harm done. But there was a part of me that secretly wanted something to happen. It might have been a reaction to Tad's leaving. It could be that I felt a little abandoned. Tad hadn't exactly been affectionate over the phone. On the other hand, Tad's mother was sick. How could I compete with that? He needed to be with his family and guide them through this crisis. I was being petty and selfish expecting to be nurtured and loved during this time.

I was lost in my thoughts when a tap at my window startled me. There was Jenny's smiling face looking in at me. "What were you thinking about, Cliff? You were a million miles away."

I looked a little sheepish. I'm sure I blushed, too. "Just work," I said. "I have a big search to do in another county tomorrow. I was just thinking about it."

"Well, forget about it for right now. Let's go have some fun!" she said. She turned and walked to her car. I watched her shapely butt as she went. Maybe I would see her bare butt tonight. A little tingle in my groin sharpened my anticipation.

She drove off and I followed. We went to the Chinese restaurant and ordered take-out: almond gai ding, eggs rolls, shrimp fried rice, wonton soup. Jenny had her wallet out to pay, but I stopped her. "You paid for lunch," I said. She smiled at me and put her money away.

She lived in one of the moderately priced apartment complexes that dot the outskirts of every city. Everything looked clean and well-kept. There weren't any drug deals going down, at least that I could see. We got out of our cars in front of one of the buildings. She said, "I live on the second floor. Follow me."

Carrying the food, I followed behind her up the stairway, once again admiring the view of her legs and ass. She looked behind me and smiled. We reached the top of the stairs and walked down the landing until we got to a door. On the door hung a little sign that said "Jenny's Place." She fumbled with her keys for a second, then opened the door and we went inside.

Jenny's apartment was furnished in college-graduate-young-professional style. The furniture was a hodge-podge, but all clean and in good repair. There were posters on the walls of bands, some modern, some from the '70s and '80s. I noticed a Led Zeppelin poster and commented on it. "They're one of my favorite bands," Jenny said. "I'm a little of a '70s freak anyway. You'll see."

We put the bags down on the kitchen table and Jenny said, "I'm going to change. Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right out."

I wandered into the living room and sat down on the couch. She had a nice stereo, which included a turntable. I noticed a row of albums in one of the spaces on the entertainment center. She really must be a '70s freak if she still had vinyl record albums. I was leafing through them and finding some old favorites—Led Zeppelin, Genesis, Pat Benatar, ZZ Top—when she returned to the room. She was wearing a pink t-shirt and loose jean shorts. She squatted beside me on the floor and said, "See anything you like?"

"Yeah," I said. "I can't believe you've got Led Zeppelin Physical Graffiti. It's always been one of my favorites."

"These albums are my Dad's. I got them and the turntable a while back when he passed away," Jenny said.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said sincerely.

"Well, it was a blessing, in a way. He died of cancer and boy, did he suffer before he died. Anyway, he knew I'd always been interested in these albums, so I got them in his will. What would you like to hear?"

"Let's put this one on," I said, handing her Physical Graffiti.

She put the album on the turntable and soon, the raucous guitar chords of "Custard Pie" were issuing from the two Infinity speakers. I couldn't believe how good the music sounded, or how much I had missed it. We sat together on the couch. She was comfortably close: not crowding, but not standoffish either.

Jenny leaned over and said, "Are you in a hurry to eat?"

I said, "Not especially."

She said, "Good." She appeared to consider something. Then she said, "You want to get high?"

I was surprised, and I guess my face showed it. She quickly said, "We don't have to."

"You mean smoke some pot?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, and grinned.

It had been years since I'd smoked. I'd always enjoyed it. But you know, you get older and sort of get away from that kind of thing. "Sure!" I said.

"I'll get us a couple of beers, too," she said, springing up from the couch. She went into the kitchen and brought back a couple of cold Michelobs. "Glass?" she asked. I shook my head no, and settled back to drink. A moment later, she brought out a tray with some buds and some papers on it. She tried to roll a joint, but seemed to have trouble. The result was lumpy and misshapen, and barely smokable. She handed it to me, chagrined.

"How about if I try?" I asked.

"Please. I'm no good at this," she said.

I tore the joint apart as "The Rover" came on. Applying my age-old technique, I broke up a couple of resiny buds and soon had us a workmanlike joint to smoke. We lit up and I took a hit and passed it to her. The smoke expanded in my lungs and I was forced to cough a little, but I held it admirably.

Then the smoke expanded in my head and I got the rush. "The Rover" finished and "In My Time of Dying" came on. The first melancholy chords from Jimmy Page's guitar seemed to last forever as the pot hit my brain. Jenny handed the joint back to me and I hit it again. Suddenly, lines of force in the universe seemed to align themselves. I forced down the pang of paranoia I felt, and relaxed into the high. My mouth was suddenly dry. I took a swallow of my beer and settled back down into the couch. The music seemed to be going through me. I felt it like I hadn't felt music for years. Robert Plant's mournful wails seemed to be talking to me, and me only. Jenny looked at me with red eyes and said, "Great, huh? My father and I used to listen to these albums for hours."

"This is good pot," I said. "I haven't smoked in a while. This is better than I remember."

Jenny spoke, and it seemed to come out in slow motion. All I could focus on was her mouth. Her teeth were white and even. Her lips were full. She said, "Yeah. They say pot is a lot stronger now than in the past. You know, hybrids and stuff." She handed me the joint. I took one more small hit and put it in the ashtray. I was plenty high right now. Right then, the song ended and Jenny got up. She went to the turntable and looked at me questioningly. I said, "Put on side three." Side three had "In the Light" and "Bronyraur" and "Down by the Seaside" on it. She put the record on and came back down to the couch. This time she sat down right beside me. She tucked her legs up under her, and snuggled in. She put my arm around her and she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

I might have been high, but I didn't miss that. I looked down at her smiling face and asked, "What was that for?"

She said, "Oh nothing. I'm just having a nice time. I like you. You're cool. You smell good, too."

I finished my beer and she quickly asked, "You want another?" She looked ready to spring up, but I was enjoying having her by my side. The pot made me acutely aware of her physical presence. I could smell her light perfume and feel the warmth of her body. I massaged her shoulder a little. It felt tight and muscular. Young. That was what it felt. It felt young. I looked down at her. She smiled. I kissed her on the forehead. She snuggled in a little closer. I drifted a little, lost in the music and the feelings. The fading sunlight was orange-yellow and slanting through her apartment window as the sun went down. It would be dark soon. I wondered how long I would be here. It seemed like I'd already been there for ages, but I knew that was the pot. In reality, I had only been in her place about forty-five minutes or so. At some point, I noticed that Jenny's small hand was on my leg. So help me, as soon as I noticed this, I got an erection. I was momentarily amazed. I had no idea how long her hand had been there. But, I had been so stoned on the pot, and mesmerized by the music, I hadn't noticed it. Yet, as soon as my consciousness shifted a little to include it, up came my cock. She didn't move her hand, she just let it stay there. Still, I could feel the warmth. I wondered, distantly, if she had noticed my hard-on.




A Bend in the Road Ch. 02



The album side finished. Jenny didn't get right up. I took a deep breath, and she did too. "That was some great music," I said. "I haven't heard that album in years."

She leaned up and looked at me. My side was suddenly cold. "Are you ready to eat?" she said. "I've got the munchies something fierce."

I realized that my stomach was grumbling. "Let's eat!" I said.

We got up from the couch. Jenny got a couple more beers and I sat at the table while she bustled about with plates and utensils. Watching her young body move about was stimulating, to say the least. It became apparent that she wasn't wearing a bra. Under the shirt, her tits were medium-sized but seemed firm. I could see her nipples. I guessed that she was a little excited as well.

We ate while an old Bryan Adams record played. The food had never tasted so good. Unlike most of the Chinese places in our town, this one still aimed for quality, and it showed in the food. The eggs rolls were hot and flaky. The soup was rich and full of noodles. The gai ding was smooth and crunchy with lots of white-meat chicken. I was suddenly reminded of why I'd gained so much weight in the twenties. I used to get high and scarf Chinese food by the bushel, then follow it with something sweet. I made a mental note to go to the gym again soon. 

After eating, we went back into the living room with a couple more beers and sat down on the couch again. "What would you like to hear?" Jenny asked.

"Got any Genesis?" I asked.

"I've got Three Sides Live. How about that?" she replied.

"Put it on, girl," I said, picking up the joint and lighting it. She grinned widely, cued the record, and got back on the couch beside me. We passed the joint a couple of times. "Abacab" came on, and pretty soon we were both bobbing our heads to the rhythm. "I saw these guys in concert," I said over the music.

She looked at me, awestruck. "Wow, you must be really old," she said, then broke out giggling. I realized that she was joking and started laughing too. We were giggling so hard we ended up holding each other. That went on for a little while. We just kept looking at each other and giggling.

That was when it happened. We were both very high, and laughing, and holding each other and punching each other lightly. You know, just playing around. Once again, in a rush, I became aware of her body, her good looks, her physical attractiveness. I had her by the arms. Her muscles were smooth and warm and strong beneath my fingers. We looked at each other. We stopped laughing. I leaned down. I saw her eyes close and her mouth come slightly open. Our lips touched and we kissed. And though it felt like it was another person kissing that young woman, I felt every nuance of the kiss. I tasted the slight remnants of beer and pot and felt our tongues come together. I gathered her into my arms and deepened the kiss. It went on and on, and I felt myself falling into her. It had been so long since I'd held a woman, any woman, let alone a young and attractive one.

We broke the kiss just as the side was ending. In the silence, all we could hear was each other's breathing. "I'll be right back," she whispered, and got up.

Alone in the living room while she did whatever it was she was doing, I had a chance to consider my situation. I was a middle-aged man about to (I hoped) get laid by a young good-looking woman. I was also pleasantly stoned on good pot, with a beer buzz to boot. I was listening to some of my favorite music in the world on a good stereo. Hell, I was living the dream!

On the other hand, I was a middle-aged man who was secretly living a gay lifestyle with a young, attractive man. I had told this young man I loved him, and I really meant it. That this young man had seemed a little preoccupied lately could be chalked up to the fact that his mother was critically ill in a hospital several hours away. I had no reason to be hurt that he wasn't paying attention to me.

It dawned on me that what I was doing was wrong. Although I dearly wanted to make love to Jenny, I could not break faith with Tad, especially since he was away tending to his mom.

I caught a whiff of perfume. I looked up and there was Jenny, standing at the doorway. She was still wearing the pink t-shirt, but had removed the shorts. She had refreshed her perfume and combed her hair. The t-shirt was just short enough to reveal a pair of lacy panties. Her smile was tentative. Before I could say anything, she was moved over to the couch and joined me. Her scent washed over me. She snuggled in close, pulled my head back down and kissed me gently. Once again, my cock rose in my pants.

I let myself enjoy the moment, knowing it was probably the last time it would ever happen to me. I wanted this badly! But it had come at the wrong time. Damn! Why did I have to have a conscience? I pushed her away gently, my heart sinking at the questioning look on her face. "Jenny, I can't do this," I said quietly.

"Why?" she asked. "Nobody needs to know."

I sighed deeply, with regret. "I suppose I'll know," I said. "Believe me, Jenny, I would love to be with you. You are a middle-aged man's dream. This has been wonderful tonight. The music, the pot, the beer, you. I haven't had so much fun in decades. And I do mean decades. But I don't think I'd really enjoy you knowing that I had betrayed this other person."

She was crying now. Oh shit. I hate it when women cry. "I should have known that this would happen. I should have known! And now you've seen me half-naked and you probably think I'm a slut!" she said.

"That's not it at all. I'm just too hung up right now to really do you justice. Believe me, under different circumstances..." I stammered.

She wiped her eyes. "You should go, Cliff. I'm sorry it ended up like this."

"Jenny..."

"No," she said. "Just go."

I sighed again, got up and left. I knew as I was leaving that I had just passed up the best opportunity I would have for a long time, maybe ever. And it was then that I became angry at Tad, and wanted him more than ever. He had damn well better get his ass back home soon!

When I got back into my car, there was a text message on my phone. (I had left the phone in the car so I wouldn't be disturbed while I was cheating on Tad.) The text message said, "Where are U?" It was from Tad, of course. I decided to let him wait a little longer while I drove home.

When I got home, I used my land line to call Tad. "Where have you been?" he asked. "I've been trying to reach you for an hour."

Once again, I could lie outright, or tell a partial truth, which is practically the same as a lie anyway. I said, "I went out for Chinese food and a couple of beers, and left my phone in the car while I was eating."

"Oh," he said. "Well, how are things going?"

"Well, I'm still missing you, if that's what you mean. Quiet and a little lonely, actually," I replied truthfully. "How is your mom doing?"

"Much better," he said, and I could hear the relief in his voice. "They've moved her out of ICU and back into her regular hospital room." He paused. "I'm coming back tomorrow."

This time, there was relief in my voice. "I'm glad. It'll be good to see you again."

"Same here," Tad said. "Listen, I know I've been preoccupied and all. I hope that I didn't hurt your feelings. It's just that she's the only mom I've got."

"I understand. Believe me I do. I'm just glad she's all right, and that you are coming home. Do you know what time you'll get here?" As long as he was returning, I might as well plan a nice meal for him.

"I'm going to make sure that she's all set. I'll be meeting with her doctor in the morning and saying goodbye to my brother and sister. Let's shoot for four or five o'clock."

"Okay," I said. "Do me a favor, please. Call when you start out. That way I'll know when to meet you at your apartment. I'll cook you a nice dinner."

"You don't have to do that, Cliff. I'll just pick up something on the way," he said.

"No arguments," I replied. "I'll meet you there with the groceries. You can just relax and clean up while I cook." Tad had never given me a key to his apartment. This was okay, since I'd never given him a key to my house.

"You take such good care of me. I'll see you soon, honey." His voice was full of promise. 

I was elated when I hung up the phone. The anger I had felt before was all gone. Plus, the relief and excitement that I felt because he was returning to me completely outweighed the regret I felt over Jenny. I had disappointed her, it was true. But I had tried to handle it as sensitively as possible. And, she could rely upon my total discretion. A plus was that I did not have to return to the courthouse in the morning. I actually had to go to another county and conduct a title search there. It was Wednesday night. It might be Monday before I had to see her again. That would let her embarrassment and hurt subside a little.

For just a moment, I reflected on my actions and feelings since Saturday. Let's see, I had lied, or partially lied, to two people. I had nearly cheated on my male lover with a young woman half my age. I had totally humiliated her when I rejected her, and I had placed both my relationship with Tad, and my reputation, in jeopardy. Quite a string of accomplishments for only five days.

On the other hand, Tad was coming home! I immediately started planning the meal I would prepare for him. I was also eagerly anticipating the sex we would have when he got home as well. I hadn't even masturbated since he'd left, and I was damned horny. 

The next day, I could hardly keep my mind on my work. The day seemed to crawl by. Luckily, the title search went well. There were no real problems, even though I was in a different county than where I usually worked. At one-thirty my cell phone rang. It was Tad. He said he had just started out and would be home in about three hours. That gave me time to shop carefully.

On the way back to town, I stopped at a vegetable stand. The owner was about to close up, but I caught him just in time. I picked out some nice fresh tomatoes. They were big and red and fragrant and obviously not hothouse tomatoes. Then I went to the nicest grocery store in town and bought some Yukon Gold potatoes, boneless chicken breasts, a bundle of fresh shallots, and some fresh herbs and spices. I bought two bottles of wine: a nice Porto and an oak-aged chardonnay to go with the chicken. I also bought a box of wheat crackers and some real Stilton cheese to go with the Porto. The price of my groceries made me gasp a little when I saw it, but I figured Tad was worth it.

I went home quickly, showered, and dressed carefully, putting on Tad's favorite cologne (at least on me). Then I drove over to Tad's place to wait for him. He had texted me a little while earlier telling me that he was about twenty minutes out. When I got to his apartment complex, I only had to wait about ten minutes before he drove up.

I met him as he was climbing out with a big grin on my face. "Welcome home," I said happily. I certainly was glad to see him.

He gave me one of his "Tad smiles" which immediately lit up my world. He looked good, but a little tired. "Hello," he said. "Don't you look," he leaned in closer, "and smell nice. Just what I needed after my drive." I helped him get his bags inside then went out to my car and brought in the groceries.

"So, how was everything while I was gone?" he asked.

"It was fine, just a little lonely," I replied. "How's your mom?"

"Well, it could have been a little of Chris, my brother's overreacting. She was sick with what you call an 'exacerbation' of her COPD, but not as bad as he made out. She did spend a day and a night in the ICU, though. Chris has always been a bit of a drama queen anyway." All this time, Tad was standing at the kitchen counter with me. I had been arranging things in preparation for cooking. I stopped what I was doing, came over to him, took him into my arms and kissed him hungrily. After a second or so, he responded. His mouth got soft and receptive and our tongues slid against each other. We broke the kiss and Tad smiled at me and patted me on the chest. "My my," he said, "you must have missed me."

I cupped his hard little buttock and said, "You have no idea."

"I think I do," he replied, smiling a little uncertainly.

"I want you to try something for me," I said as I uncorked the Porto and unwrapped the Stilton and crackers. I got out a plate and put several of the crackers on it. Then I cut several chunks of the cheese and put them on the plate also. I poured some of the wine into glasses and said, "Eat some of the cheese and crackers and follow it with the wine."

I put some cheese and a cracker into my mouth and chewed. The Stilton had a strong, pungent flavor moderated a little by the cracker. I swallowed but left a little of the residue in my mouth. I took a swallow of the Porto. When the wine hit the residue, it created a delicious, creamy new flavor. I saw the look on Tad's face when he did it. "Wow!" he said. "That's really fabulous! Where did you find out about this?"

I took another bite and began peeling potatoes. "A friend of mine at work told me about it. Pretty good, isn't it?"

"It is." Tad took more cheese, cracker and wine. "Yum!" he said. "Can I help you with anything in here?"

"No, I'm good. Dinner will be ready in about forty-five minutes." I was cutting the potatoes into chunks. "Take your shower."

Tad left for the shower and I put the potatoes on to boil. I took another bite of cheese and cracker and followed it with more wine. The Porto had a bit of a kick to it. I could taste the alcohol. I could also feel it. I decided to go easy. I didn't want anything to slow me down or make me sluggish this evening.

While the potatoes boiled, I got the chicken breasts out. I washed them and patted them dry, then seasoned them carefully with a little adobo seasoning and lemon pepper. I got out Tad's heavy stainless steel frying pan and poured in olive oil, a little more than once around the pot. While the oil got hot, I got out the fresh herbs, some chicken broth, and the bottle of chardonnay. I poured about half a cup of the wine into a measuring cup and put the bottle back into the fridge. (I like my white wine a little cold.) The oil was hot, so I put in the chicken breasts to cook. I checked the potatoes—they were almost ready. I got out the tomatoes and washed them and set them on the counter. I was planning on having them sliced with a little vinaigrette dressing, salt and pepper, and maybe a sprinkle of parmesan cheese. I turned the chicken breasts over and checked the potatoes. They were done. I drained them in the sink and let them cool a few minutes while I got the garlic, cream cheese, salt and pepper, and a little fresh parsley.

Tad came out wearing a towel wrapped around his waist. I stopped for moment to admire the view. He smelled clean and looked wonderful. I must have been staring, because he looked at me and asked, "What?"

"Nothing," I said. "Just admiring the view."

The chicken breasts were done, so I took them out of the pan and put them on a plate. The plate went into the oven to stay warm. Tad took a little more of the cheese and Porto. "I'm kind of starting to feel that wine," he said.

"I know. Me too. You know Porto is fortified, right? It's sweet red wine fortified with brandy." I was starting to mash potatoes now.

"I read it somewhere," Tad replied. "It's really good, but I couldn't eat like this all the time."

"Me neither, but this is a special occasion. Now, go get some clothes or something on. I'm nearly finished in here." I was mixing cream cheese and roasted garlic into the potatoes. Tad went into his bedroom. Parsley, and a little salt and pepper went into the potatoes next. I tasted, and added a pinch more salt. I put aluminum foil over the potatoes to keep them warm and turned back to the frying pan with the drippings from the chicken breasts. I put the pan back on the heat and let the oil get warm again. I quickly minced shallots and put them into the pan to sauté. After about a minute, I poured in the half-cup of chardonnay, and stirred the mixture well. (I sometimes use a shot of bourbon, but this time I wanted to complement the flavor of the wine.) After about a minute, I poured in about a cup of chicken broth and let that cook over medium-high heat for a few minutes. I turned down the flame and put in three pats of butter. I stirred to melt and mix them, then added a little salt and pepper and some fresh parsley and a little rosemary. I turned down the heat and moved the chicken breasts to a large serving plate. Then I returned to the tomatoes. I sliced them moderately thick and put them on two dinner plates. I turned off the heat under the sauce and called out, "Dinner's ready!"

"Good, I'm starving," Tad called out from the bedroom. He came out wearing a loose white t-shirt and baggy shorts. I poured the sauce over the chicken breasts and carried them and the potatoes to the table. I grabbed a bottle of vinaigrette from the fridge, a container of parmesan cheese, and the bottle of chardonnay. Tad helped by getting plates and utensils and the wine glasses. He also lit a couple of candles.

"Nice touch," I said.

"That smells wonderful, Cliff," Tad said when he saw the food.

"I hope it's all right," I replied.

We sat down and I poured us each a glass of wine. "To your mom," I said, "and your safe return home."

Tad tasted the wine. "This is really good, Cliff. I can even taste the oak."

"Wait until you see how it tastes with the chicken," I said proudly.

I served him a breast, poured a little more sauce over it, and added a dollop of potatoes. Tab cut into the meat and ate, then followed with a little wine. "Mmm, delicious!" he said. 

"Thank you," I said. I loved feeding Tad good food and watching him enjoy it. I served myself and we ate companionably and hungrily. The conversation flowed easily. We discussed his family situation. His mom was going to need more care in the future and Tad wasn't sure how to handle it.

"It may require my relocating," he said. I felt a little chill when he said that.

"You could bring her down here," I said.

"Possibly," he replied, though my brother would have a fit. He can't really take care of her, but he doesn't want to let her go, either."

After dinner—we finished the wine, by the way—we went into the living room. 

"Do you want dessert?" I asked. "There's cheesecake left in the fridge.

"Not right now," Tad said. "Let's just sit on the couch for a while."

I put on a little quiet music and turned off all the lights except for one. We got on the couch and Tad put his head on my shoulder. I was the happiest and most content I'd been in days. I turned to him, lifted up his chin and kissed him gently. He returned the kiss. I inhaled his scent deeply and gratefully, playing my lips along his neck. We kissed again, and I pulled him to me. I caressed his arms and shoulders as we embraced, marveling at the feel of his smooth strong muscles. My passion rose, but Tad seemed to be holding back a little. "Is there anything wrong?" I asked.

"No. Nothing. I guess I'm a little more tired than I thought," Tad said.

"Listen, Tad. I need you tonight." I placed his hand on my now-raging erection. He obliged me with a firm squeeze. The rush of pleasure galvanized me. I kissed him again and pulled up his shirt. I sucked first his right, then his left nipple hard, and moved quickly down to his stomach.

"Cliff, please," he said.

I didn't listen. Within seconds, I had undid the drawstring on his shorts and pulled them down over his cock and balls. Tad might have been tired, but his cock was hard. Before he could do anything, I had my mouth on his cock, sucking hard. He tasted wonderful: warm and alive. I played my fingers along the shaft and took his balls gently into my hand. I groaned involuntarily with the sheer sexiness of the act and took him out of my mouth to flick my eager tongue all over the head. He moaned as well, and I knew I was getting through to him. It went through my head that I was silly to even want Jenny. What did I need with a pussy when I had Tad's nice cock to suck? My Tad was a better lover to me than any woman I'd ever known. He was more responsive, more understanding, and more passionate. I swallowed him again, sucking deeply and long, and was rewarded with a taste of his pre-cum.




A Bend in the Road Ch. 02



"As long as we're going to do this, let's take it into the bedroom," Tad sighed. 

I reluctantly took my mouth off him and we went down the hall into his bedroom. I was undressed in a skinny minute, then I helped Tad undress. I took off his t-shirt, kissing him on the chest as I did so. Then I knelt, naked, in front of him and pulled down his shorts. His cock was still semi-hard and there was a drop of clear fluid on the end. I licked it off hungrily. Man! I was horny for him!

We got on the bed and I reveled in the feel of our bodies against each other. Tad's skin was so smooth, so well cared for. I ground my crotch against his, feeling our cocks touch. I kissed him, hard, and ran my hand down his back and the curve of his buttocks. I touched his anus with my middle finger, running around the rim, but not piercing him. He gave a little moan when I did that. I took his cock in my hand, squeezing him gently, feeling him get hard. "How about if I suck your cock a little, baby?" I whispered.

"Suck my cock, Cliff. Suck it good," Tad said from the throes of passion. I moved down quickly and buried my face in his crotch, inhaling his clean musky scent. Laying his cock against my face, I kissed it from root to tip, then back down again. I circled the head with my tongue, but stopped at that, preferring to work my way back down again with little, sucking kisses. When I couldn't take it any more, when I had to have him, I moved back up to the head again and engulfed his wonderful prick. Tad thrust a little involuntarily with the pleasure, and I groaned in satisfaction. Careful not to touch him with my teeth, I sucked hard, moving my head up and down, and working the shaft with my hand. "Oh baby! That feels so good, Cliff!" Tad gave a little chuckle. "I did miss you, Cliff."

"I missed you too," I said, briefly taking my mouth off. But only briefly. 

He got harder. I could tell the difference. It meant that he was about to cum. Instead of sucking harder and faster, I slowed down. I meant for it to last for both of us.

"It's going to happen soon, Cliff," Tad panted.

"Mmmm."

I flicked my tongue across the head, lapping at the steady flow of fluid. The head of Tad's cock felt enormous in my mouth. It was swollen, and hot, and ready to erupt. Tad went rigid below me, then relaxed. He grunted gutturally and thrust upward as a geyser of hot, thick, sticky semen spurted from his straining cock into my waiting mouth. I moaned as my mouth was filled with Tad's essence, and I sucked and swallowed as fast as I could to keep up with the torrent spewing from him. I worked the shaft, up and down as Tad gasped "Oh! Oh! Oh! Baby!" 

Finally his semen slowed to a trickle. I knew that by now his cock would be very sensitive, so I reluctantly removed my mouth, giving him a quick kiss as I released him. The residue of his sperm remained, and I swallowed, savoring the taste.

I crawled up beside him. I took him in my arms again and kissed him. Our tongues danced together briefly. Tad closed his eyes as if to sleep, but I said, "We're not done yet."

"What do you mean?" he asked tiredly.

"Baby, I haven't cum yet," I replied.

He opened his eyes and looked at me. He put his hand on my face and caressed me. I kissed his hand. "What do you want? A nice blowjob?"

"No, Tad. I want your ass."

"Oh Cliff. I'm a little tired..." he stared to say.

"Tad, I know you were taking care of family business while you were away. I respect that. But it's been damn lonely around here without you. Now I need some sex tonight. Some real sex, not just a blowjob. So, please get on your hands and knees." I was already on my knees beside him on the bed. My cock was fully erect, and it was going into Tad's butt tonight if I had anything to do with it.

Slowly, Tad got into position. I got the lube and put some on my cock. "Down a little," I said. Tad went down on his forearms. I got between his legs and pushed them apart. His lightly-haired asshole came into view. I put a dollop of lube on his anus and pushed into him with my finger. Tad jumped a little.

"Easy!" he said, a little tersely.

"Sorry," I said.

I put the head of my cock against his opening, and started to push. He sighed deeply, grabbed his pillow, and put his head down on it. I sensed him relaxing. It was like he realized that it was going to happen no matter what, so he might as well enjoy it.

He opened gradually for me. I put on a little more pressure. He put his hand on my cock to slow me and said, "Slower, Cliff. Please."

"I'm trying," I said. But the fact was, I was so inflamed with lust at that point that I was on the verge of just shoving it in and fucking. I restrained myself with difficulty.

I slowed down and held still for a few moments. Gradually, Tad's tight anus opened to accept me. When I had the head in, I stopped and let us both rest a little. He spread a little more for me, burying his face in the pillow. I was about halfway in now, almost past the muscle that guarded the entrance. I felt him take a deep breath and push a little, and I slipped the rest of the way in. Tad groaned deeply, as did I. I pushed and hilted myself, feeling his tight warm sheath close over me.

"Oh that feels good," I said.

"Go slow at first. It's been a while," Tad said.

I tried, but I wasn't really able to go slow. I began fucking him with long, deep strokes, enjoying the closeness and warmth. My pleasure ratcheted upward with each thrust. For variety, I went deep a few times, then shallow, enjoying the feel of his tight sphincter on the head of my cock. Tad raised up against me. I put my arm around him and pulled him close. For just a moment, we caught sight of ourselves in the full-length mirror on his closet door. Two men, one young, one middle-aged, joined in coitus. Many people would call what we were doing perverted, an aberration, a sickness, or even a sin. I, however, thought of it as love at its most sublime and physical. While it is true that the act of love between a man and a woman can be intensely physical, there is a difference between heterosexual intercourse and homosexual intercourse. When a man and a woman make love, it is possible for both of them to get physical gratification, an orgasm, from the act itself. If a man and a woman have anal intercourse, it is usually treated as an alternate form of sex. Despite what you may read, the great majority of women can not have an orgasm or reach physical satisfaction during the act of anal intercourse. For a woman to have an orgasm during "regular" sex, she has to be carefully prepared and fucked just right. She may expect it or not expect it when she fucks. If she expects it and doesn't get it, she's disappointed. If she doesn't expect it, she either knows it's not going to happen, or she's just fucking to satisfy her partner.

When two men fuck, though, it's different. We had no other option if we wanted to have sexual intercourse. A blowjob is extremely pleasurable, but it can lack in physical closeness. Tad knew he wasn't going to climax from my cock in his ass, but he gave it up to me anyway, enjoying the act for what it was: a way of pleasing me and feeling close to me. I believe that Tad and I achieved a real physical and emotional union during anal intercourse.

We looked at each other in the mirror. Tad smiled and whispered, "Give it to me, baby."

I pushed him down and began fucking for my orgasm. At that moment, I loved Tad more than any person in the world. I felt the familiar tingle in my balls. I was about to cum. This was how I showed him that I loved him. At that moment, I was all his, and he was all mine. Without realizing it, I was grunting with each thrust. My pleasure was peaking. I felt Tad's anus get a bit tighter. His rhythm changed. He was loosening on the in-stroke, and tightening on the out—stroke. Tad was milking my cock, using all his skill to bring me to climax. This was what Tad brought to the bedroom. He was a consummate lover, able to sense and respond to his partner's needs, even under sexual stress. This was how Tad showed his love for me.

My pleasure reached a crescendo. I felt the bolt of semen build and then travel through my cock into Tad's ass. I was transported as gout after gout of cum shot from me into Tad. I lost control, thrusting jerkily, feeling my orgasm in every fiber of my being. My whole body rang with the pleasure. "Unghh!!" I gasped as I poured myself into him.

I thrust gently for a few more strokes, then gently disengaged myself and collapsed on the bed beside Tad. He turned to me and cuddled, kissing my face gently and holding me. "I guess I don't need to ask how that was," he said, chuckling. He knew he'd done well.

"Not hardly," I said, already feeling sleepy.

After a couple of minutes, I felt him get up and leave the bed. Water ran in the bathroom. The next thing I felt as I began drifting off to sleep was a warm washcloth on my privates. He put his t-shirt and shorts back on and climbed back into bed. He turned on his side and I turned to spoon him. "Glad you're home," I said, falling to sleep.

"Me, too," he said.



A Bend in the Road Ch. 03



This story has been on my mind for a long time. It involves two characters from previous stories of mine: "A Bend in the Road," Chapters 1 and 2. This story is going to take a bit of a different direction from the other two. All of these stories are pure fantasy and maybe a little wishful thinking on my part. I hope you enjoy this one.

*

I had been out of town for several days on a work assignment for my title research business. It had involved multiple properties at the site of a proposed strip mall in a city too far away to make it convenient to drive home every day. The work had taken all of three days, and on this Friday morning I was finished and ready to drive home.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Cliff Richardson. I am forty-three years old. I am divorced from my wife of twenty-five years. I have two grown children. I have brown eyes, salt and pepper hair (stylishly short), and a not-bad body for a man my age.

I also have a male lover, Tad Sorensen, whom I've been seeing for about four months. Tad and I met when I was a patient in the hospital he works at as a registered nurse. I was powerfully attracted to him from the start. When I was discharged, I worked up my courage and asked him out. Our relationship clicked, and we have become a couple. Needless to say, this "bend in the road" has caused no shortage of consternation among my family and friends. And I admit to having, in a moment of weakness, nearly strayed. But Tad and I are past all that now and we've settled into an exclusive, and very sexy, relationship.

On this particular day, as I set out on the drive home, I called Tad on his cell. It went straight to voicemail (of course), so I left a message that I was on my way home and would see him that evening, at least I hoped I would. 

Tad and I do not live together. We both prefer it that way, at least for now. I have a nice house and he has a nice apartment and we split the time between them. I haven't brought the subject up, for fear of being rejected, and Tad hasn't either. Why mess with a good thing?

'Tad and I are compatible in many ways. We share a love of home life, movies, books, and even (some) television. Tad likes to cook, and I like to eat, but we both are very careful. Tad gets me to the gym regularly.

Tad is, by far, the best lover I've ever had. My ex-wife, Margaret, doesn't hold a candle to him. Tad is eager, inventive, and passionate, and he takes pleasure in pleasing me. For my part, I consider Tad's body a wonderland. He is beautiful to me, with his light brown hair, blue eyes and perfect teeth. He's lean and long and the hair on his body is so light as to be almost absent. And Tad has a respectably-sized, circumcised cock which I have gown to adore. This is Cliff talking, a middle-aged man who's been with women his entire life, talking about another man's cock. Talk about a bend in the road!

My phone rang. I looked and saw it was Tad. "Hello," I said, trying not to sound too eager.

"Hi Cliff," said Tad on the other end. His voice had that little lilt in it that meant he was in a good mood.

"Hey buddy," I said. "Just wanted to let you know I'm on my way home. Are we getting together tonight?"

"You know it, hon. How about it we go see the new Jennifer Lawrence movie? It's called 'Serena' and looks interesting."

"Sounds good," I said. "Am I taking you to dinner?"

"If you like," he said.

"I like. Okay, what time?"

"Well, I'm at work now, which is way I didn't pick up when you called. Come by at about eight-fifteen or eight-thirty. That will give me time to get ready," he said.

"Okay, I'll see you then," I said.

I went to the courthouse and spent the rest of the day catching up with work I'd neglected while I was out of town. I was finished by five, so I went home, took a short nap, got up and began getting ready to see Tad.

To say that my relationship with Tad had caused a stir was an understatement. No one had had a clue, including myself, that I would take a man as a lover this late in life. The women in my life, my wife and daughter, had been shocked, but in the end more understanding than my son. He was twenty-two and a senior in college, and the news had rocked him. We were still working it out, he and I. My wife said she understood, but I could tell from her questions that she wondered what she had done wrong. Why had I turned my back on heterosexual relationships to pursue a homosexual one? My reply had been that I still loved women, but I also loved Tad. In retrospect, I think I've been a bisexual all along. I had just suppressed the urges for years.

And then along came Tad at a time when I was lonely and vulnerable, and he was just the right man for me. And so I went for it. I asked him out and he accepted. Like I said, we haven't gotten to the living together part yet, but we are planning a vacation together in a few months.

I didn't know how long Tad and I would last. I said before we were exclusive. Let me amend that by saying that I was exclusive, and so was Tad, as far as I knew. I basically took it week by week. I courted Tad in the old-fashioned way because it's the only way I knew. It was funny though. I couldn't exactly treat him like a woman, but he wasn't my "buddy" either in the typical male shared-experiences sense. He was my lover and my companion, but Tad was perfectly capable of pulling out his own chair.

I live in the country, so I had to allow myself about thirty minutes to drive in if I was to be on time. So at seven I took a shower, shaved, and dressed. I hadn't gone to the gym this week because I'd been out of town. Looking at myself in the mirror, I resolved to go at least three times next week. Was that a hint of extra weight around my middle? I wore my nicest jeans, a button-down white with blue stripes dress shirt, and comfortable hiking boots. My soft brown leather jacket completed my getup. I smiled and checked my teeth. They were fine. I'd had them professionally whitened a while back. Though sound, years of coffee drinking had turned them a slight shade of yellow. Now they were nice and white.

I straightened my house and left, carefully locking the door behind me. I wasn't sure where we'd end up this evening, but I was taking no chances with a messy house. I looked at my watch: seven forty-five. That would put me a Tad's place at about eight-fifteen or so. Good timing.

I pulled up beside Tad's Prius right on time. I could feel the anticipation in my stomach, and especially in my groin. I had purposefully not masturbated while I was away, heightening my anticipation of our reunion. As a result, my semi-erect cock tingled a little.

Tad and I had not exchanged keys yet. We still had separate places. I had confessed my love to Tad, but he had not reciprocated—yet. I considered us a dating couple, and hoped for more. I wasn't sure exactly how Tad felt about me. He could be marvelously affectionate and passionate, yet sometimes he retreated into a private world. To me, he was a bit of a mystery.

I knocked on his door, waited, then knocked again. From within the apartment, I heard "Just a minute." A few seconds later, I heard the lock turning and the chain being pulled back. I started to turn the knob, but I head Tad say, "One second!" I stopped, puzzled. A few seconds later, I heard, "Okay, come in."

I opened the door to Tad's tastefully furnished apartment. He was not in sight. "Tad?" I asked, puzzled.

"Okay," Tad said from the back of the apartment, "I'm coming out now."

I almost said, "I thought you were already out," but decided that it would be lame and in poor taste. So I said, "Okay," instead.

From the hall leading back to the bedroom walked an attractive young woman. She was wearing a dark gray turtleneck sweater with thin red threads woven through it. A small gold heart on a thin gold chain hung around her neck. From her ears hung matching gold earrings. Her hair, the exact shade as Tad's, was short on the sides and a bit thicker on top, and parted on the left. She was wearing well-fitted jeans, and sandals. Her toes were painted coral pink, matching her lips and nails. She was made up sparingly but skillfully: lips, eyes, and cheeks in perfect balance. I noted her eyes, big and bright, and, it seemed, a bit apprehensive.

"Oh," I said, stepping forward and extending my hand. "You must be Tad's sister, I'm...

"Cliff, it's me, Tad," the young woman in front of me said, stepping forward and giving me a light kiss on the lips. Her fragrance, sweet and lemony, washed over me and I reeled a little.

"Tad?" I said stupidly.

"Yes, it's me," the young woman said.

"I didn't know. I had no idea," I said, still shocked.

"I know, Cliff. It's something that I let very few people see. I kept if from you because I didn't know how you'd react." She placed a soft manicured hand on my cheek, looked into my eyes, and asked, "Are you disappointed?"

I closed my stupid open mouth, swallowed and said, "No. No, I'm not disappointed. I'm just surprised. My god, Tad, you're gorgeous."

"Tabby. Call me Tabby," she said, smiling even as her eyes glistened with tears.

(Author's note: From now on, in respect to the character's choice, I will refer to "Tabby" in the feminine, using feminine pronouns.)

I pulled Tabby close and hugged her. She threw her arms around my neck and buried her face in my shoulder. I heard and felt a soft sniffle and sob. She pushed away and said, "I was so afraid!"

"Afraid of what?" I asked, incredulous.

"Afraid you wouldn't want me now. Oh damn," she said, and with a striking feminine gesture turned away from me, plucked a tissue from a box on the coffee table, and began dabbing at her eyes. "I'm going to ruin my makeup! And I spent so much time getting it just right for you. I'll be back in a minute," she said, dashing back to the bathroom.

I stood there dumbfounded. The handsome, if effeminate young man I'd been seeing for several months had transformed into a lovely young woman. I had had no idea Tad was a well, what was he? Was he a transgender? A crossdresser? I didn't know. And yet despite the change, I still found myself aroused and excited. Whether this person was Tad, or Tabby, they still struck a very powerful sexual chord in me. My cock was more than semi-erect now.

I stood in the room waiting, trying to sort out my feelings. I had entered this relationship with a young, attractive man who was now presenting himself as a woman. Was this something I even wanted? If I was truly a gay man, wouldn't I find Tabby unattractive? On the other hand, a straight man would be foolish not to find Tabby attractive. In the end, I decided to just go with it and see how the evening went. I had fallen for Tad. But wasn't Tabby simply a more feminine Tad?

Tabby came out from the back, smiling. "Okay, I think I'm ready." She went over to the kitchen table and picked up her shoulder bag. It was fabric with some sort of Native American design. The she turned to me and smiled a little, looking into my eyes. It was as if she was presenting herself for inspection and approval. Without words, she was asking, "How do I look?"

I felt a slow, involuntary smile spreading over my face. "My goodness, Tabby, you look so different, but so lovely."

"Thank you," she said demurely. Then, with an exquisitely feminine and ladylike grace, she curtsied.

I held the door open for her, and with a very female jingle of keys, bracelets, and wristwatch, we left her apartment. I held the car door open for her (something I wouldn't have done for Tad), made sure she was buckled in, and drove to the restaurant.

***

I kept looking at her hands. Tad's hands had been pale and slender and soft, yet somehow still at least a little masculine. But in the week or so since I'd last been with Tad, his hands had become distinctly more feminine. It wasn't just the nail polish either. It was in the way Tabby held and moved her hands. They also looked softer and a bit glossy with lotion. They were the hands of a young woman.

"I never knew this about you," I said, looking at Tabby over my beer. She had ordered a glass of white wine.

"I didn't let you know on purpose. Very few people know about Tabby, Cliff."

She took a sip of her wine.

"Is this a permanent change then?" I asked.

Tabby swallowed and fiddled with her napkin. "No, it's not permanent. It's...It's an occasional, even a frequent thing. Sometimes I feel more comfortable, more at home with myself, dressing and living as a woman. But at the same time, I'm still not ready to give up Tad altogether. I've been Tad all my life. It's like Tabby is this wonderful vacation that I get to take sometimes."

"You sound a little confused." I said, as gently as I could.

"I'm not. I swear it. Believe it or not, I know who I am and who I want to be most of the time. But I want to know how you feel about Tabby."

Tabby put her hand over mine and looked at me. I could tell how difficult this was for her, how vulnerable she was right then. A few words from me would either reassure her of my feelings, or cut her to the quick. But I am not that kind of person. I never have been.

"Well, I'll admit that it's going to take a little getting used to," I said, "but if it's what you want, then I support you." I gazed at her. "I can't get over how pretty and feminine you are. How could I have not known?"

"Cliff, I was very good at hiding it. I rarely showed this side of me to anybody. Oh, I have a few friends who know. A couple of the female nurses at work know. I've even gone out with them a few times as Tabby."

"But you never told or showed me."

"I know. And for that I apologize. But you have become a very, very important part of my life. I wasn't sure how you'd react. And I didn't want to take the chance of losing you."

As the said this, her voice broke and she squeezed my hand hard. Tears sparkled in her eyes. "I seem to cry at the slightest thing now," she said, brushing her cheek.

The waitress came with our food. Tabby had ordered the restaurant's specialty salad, something with greens and raspberries and grilled chicken and vinaigrette dressing. She also had another glass of white wine. I indulged myself with a mushroom and swiss burger and french fries and another glass of beer.

I poured ketchup on my fries and said, "First of all, you're not going to lose me. I can't remember a time when I've been happier or more fulfilled. I want to be with you whether you're Tad or Tabby. Work it out however you need. We're a couple, or maybe a threesome." I looked at her and smiled. She laughed demurely. Good, I thought, the tension was broken. The rest of the meal went more comfortably.

Once she relaxed, her smile came back and lightened my heart considerably. The light kept catching her earrings and her eyes. Her makeup was flawless, her lipstick perfectly applied. Tabby ate very carefully. She picked through the salad and took tiny sips of her wine. I couldn't believe how ladylike, how feminine she was. Tad must have been this way, practiced it, for a long time. Or maybe it just came naturally. I didn't know. All I knew was that I was beguiled by this person in front of me.

On the way out of the restaurant, it was breezy and slightly chilly. Tabby huddled close to my side, linking her arm through mine and lacing her fingers in mine. She looked up at me and smiled. I kissed her gently and felt her hand on the back of my neck. She played briefly in my hair as our lips and tongues caressed. This is a woman kissing me, I thought.

"Would you mind if we just went home?" she asked.

"Your place or mine?"

"Mine, please."

On the way home, I kept glancing at her. It was still hard for me to believe that this was, or had been, my male lover Tad. "How long have you been...I mean, how long have you felt...?" I began clumsily.

"Pretty much my whole life. I've know I was gay since I was about twelve or thirteen. But I've wanted to dress in girls' clothes since I was much younger. I've always felt more comfortable, more myself around women, dressed as a woman. And I've always been attracted to guys."

"I guess that makes us quite a pair, then. I'd always been with women until I met you. I suppose I wasn't acknowledging the part of me that found men attractive. Then I found you, and it was like a whole new life opened up for me. I'm still a bit confused about my own identity. It's like there are two warring factions inside me. I though, I mean I think you're a helluva good-looking man. Very appealing to me. But you are also just the kind of woman I find appealing. Slender, slightly tomboyish, with fine features. That's you. I don't know who I'm attracted to more. I don't know if I'm no longer supposed to be attracted to Tad, or just to Tabby."

Tabby looked up at me and laid her hand on my arm. "I'm not sure either, honey. In some ways, I feel freer than I've ever felt. But I also feel the tug of my other life, pulling me back."

"Does your mother know?"

"Know what? That I'm gay? Yes. I came out to her years ago. Does she know that I dress as a woman? I think so. A couple of years ago, she came for a visit and found my pretty things and makeup. I made up some story about a female roommate, now gone, who'd left her things. But I don't think she was convinced."

"She didn't say anything?"

"No."

We drove the rest of the way to her apartment in silence, each of us processing our own thoughts.

When we got inside, I plopped down on the couch. "You want to watch a movie or something? Or maybe just listen to music?"

Tabby stood in the middle of the living room looking down at me. She was biting her lower lip and apparently mulling something over.

"Let's just sit on the couch and listen to music. There's wine in the fridge. I'll be back in a minute." She went back into the bedroom and closed the door softly.

I put some music on the CD player and opened the bottle of white wine from the fridge. I poured two glasses, sat back down on the couch, took off my shoes, sipped the wine and waited. I heard the bedroom door open.

Tabby stepped into the living room then. I sat up, put the glass down on the table, and stared. "Oh lord, Tabby. Just look at you."

She was wearing a sheer light blue baby doll nightie and panties. Her modest boyish curves could be seen through the material, as could the slightly darker patch of pubic hair and the outline of her semi-erect penis. The skin on her neck and arms was smooth and white. She had kept her earrings on and they caught the light. She looked like she'd removed her makeup, but her face still looked clean and fresh. Tabby's thighs and calves were smooth and just muscular enough to accentuate their curves. She was barefoot.

She looked at me and asked, somewhat anxiously, "Do I look all right?"

"I don't know what to say," I replied. I patted the couch beside me and Tabby skipped over to me eagerly. She cuddled up beside me. I pulled a blanket over us and pulled her close. We kissed and kissed again. My hands roamed all over her firm body, encountering smooth skin and flimsy material and, yes, her now-hard cock. She sighed when I grasped it, squeezing firmly, then she unzipped me and got mine out. Her warm soft hand explored the length and girth of my penis, passing her thumb over my slit. I was leaking a little, and she smeared my pre-cum over the engorged head.

I was horny and ready to get right down to it, but Tabby wanted to play a little more. "Let's get you undressed," she said, and began unbuttoning my shirt with quick, practiced fingers. It was off in a minute flat, then she said, "Stand up." I stood up beside the couch and she quickly unbuckled my belt and undid the waistband of my pants. My shoes were already off. I stepped out of my pants and stood there in my briefs, the material tenting out in front from my excitement.




A Bend in the Road Ch. 03



"I've missed you, baby," I said quietly, urgently.

"So I see," Tabby said. She put her fingers underneath the waistband and pulled down slowly, exposing my cock inch by inch, gazing at it avidly. In all my life, no other person has ever looked at my cock like Tad or Tabby did. I grew harder while she looked, my member jumping a little with each beat of my heart. I stepped out of my underwear and stood nude, completely exposed to my lover's gaze.

Tabby gently hefted my testicles and rubbed my cock on her face and lips, planting little kisses along the shaft. Her pink tongue slid out and twirled over the head, then she opened and slid me inside, sucking gently. "Oh baby doll, that feels so good," I whispered, placing my hand on the back of her head and gently nudging her forward.

She withdrew and pulled me down on the couch beside her. Our mouths locked together and we began grinding, our cocks jousting with each other. I reached down and grabbed us both, pumping our two cocks together. We both moaned. I stroked the so-soft flesh of her ass, and slid my finger between her cheeks to finger her butthole.

Tabby smelled and tasted and felt so good! Male or female, she was utterly delectable. She ardently returned my kisses, ran slender fingers into my hair. I pushed her back and ran my tongue over each small breast, sucking the nipple hard. She responded with sighs and moans, little mewling cries and sobs of pleasure and tension. I worked lower and lower over her smooth white torso, over her flat firm belly, until I got to the object of my quest.

When I had been with my wife Margaret, I had believed that she had a nice-looking vagina. Her lips were dark coral pink and beautifully formed, slightly fleshy but well-proportioned. She kept her pubic hair trimmed but not shaved, and I'd enjoyed its thickness. I had, like most other men, looked at girlie magazines and plenty of nude women on the internet. The point I'm making is that I've seen plenty of pussies in my time, and I felt that I was a good judge of pussyflesh. 

I had never paid that much attention to the cocks I'd seen in the porn I'd looked at. Perhaps I had taken note of their size. My own cock was average in every way. But I had come to adore Tad's cock. It was about seven inches long, moderately thick, circumcised, and perfectly (to my mind) shaped. The shaft curved upward slightly, and it had been perfectly cut. When Tad was hard, the skin stretched smoothly with no lumps, bumps or wrinkles. The head was just the right size and shape, flaring nicely off the shaft.

Now I moved slowly, kissing my way down Tabby's belly until I reached the object of my desire. Her cock lay fully erect against her belly, a clear drop of pre-cum glistening on its tip. It pulsed gently in time with Tabby's heartbeat. I could smell the musky, masculine scent, mixed with body lotion, emanating off of it.

Without touching it with my hands, I began exploring the lovely phallus with my lips and tongue, tasting and feeling its warmth, smoothness, and hardness. I delicately licked the crystalline drop off the end, savoring its saltiness. I made my lips into an O and placed them over the head, then gently sucked the yearning cock inside. Above me, Tabby sighed a little as her cock entered the warm moist haven of my mouth.

Man! I loved sucking this cock. I had never in my life experienced anything like the sheer sexual gratification I felt when I had Tad's (or Tabby's) cock in my mouth. Not only was I satisfying a natural impulse of mine to suck, I was also giving pleasure to a person whom I cared about deeply.

I opened up and took as much of the cock as I could into my mouth, moaning as its sweet muskiness overwhelmed my senses and sent me into a near stupor of cock-drunkenness. The penis in my mouth, the penis of my cherished lover, was my whole world at that moment. I sucked hard and moved up and down, swirling my tongue over the head, tasting the constant stream of pre-cum. My only thought now was to get Tabby's cum into my mouth.

That was when she stopped me and pulled out.

"Let's go to the bedroom," she said.

We got up and she led me by the hand to the bedroom, glancing over her shoulder at me. I was so besotted that all I could do was follow. I looked down. My cock was hard and jutting stiffly out in front of me. Briefly, I wondered where it would end up that evening, in her ass or her mouth. Tabby's cute butt moved just a few inches in front of me. Suddenly, all I wanted was to get my tongue on her butthole.

  She turned the bedside light on and pulled the covers back on her bed. Quickly, with a few deft movements, she was completely nude. Her smooth white skin looked utterly delicious. We fell together on the bed, mouths locked together, once again grinding our genitals together. Tabby returned my kisses ardently, passionately. I loved her like this!

"Sometimes I want to feel like a woman," she whispered. "Make me feel like a woman tonight, Cliff."

I didn't say anything. I just began kissing her neck and shoulders, inhaling her scent, glorying in her feel. Once again, I worked my way down her body, using my lips and tongue to communicate my ardor for her. When I got to her cock, I plunged down on it with my wet mouth, sucking hard, filling my senses with its warm hardness. "Oh baby," Tabby cried, opening her legs wide and throwing her warms over her head, "suck that cock! Suck it so good!"

I sucked on her lovely cock until she began saying, "Oh lover, I'm about to cum!!" The smell and taste of her filled my mouth and nose. Her pre-cum coated my tongue. I took as much of her cock into my mouth as I could, deep throating to the best of my limited ability. I slid my hand up and down the hard shaft, working the head in rhythm with my avid tongue. After a moment or two, Tabby cried out again, "Oh baby! Here...it...comes!!" I felt her jerk under me and suddenly I tasted the hot spurts of semen as they shot into my hungry mouth. Tabby was crying out, sharp yelps of pleasure as her salty cum exited her body in an explosion of pleasure, pleasure that I was happy to give to her.

I sucked her dry and swallowed her seed, then released her and scrambled between her splayed thighs. "I've got to fuck you now," I said tersely. "Raise up." Tabby raised her fanny off the bed and I placed a pillow under her. Without a word or having to move, Tabby reached over to the bedside table and picked up a bottle of lubricant. She handed it to me, watching me very closely.

"Are you going to fuck me?" she asked, bringing her knuckles up to her mouth. I realized that, of all the times Tad and I had made love, this would be the first time I'd ever been with Tabby. I looked down at her. Her eyes were wide, even a little anxious.

"Don't worry, sweetie," I said, my voice softening a little, "I'll be gentle."

"I don't want you to be gentle. I want to you take me." In a small voice she added, "You can be a little rough if you want to."

I didn't say anything, didn't see any need to. I squirted lube on my hard cock and moved in closer. Tabby sighed deeply. I pushed her satin thighs even farther apart and placed the purplish, mushroom-shaped head of my cock at her smooth brown anal opening.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"Push that big cock in me, Daddy," she purred.

With one smooth, steady thrust, I buried my penis inside Tabby's tight bunghole.

"Oh baby you're so big!" she cried out as I hilted myself in her.

Man! She felt wonderful. Smooth and tight and warm, not like a vagina at all. I began moving right away, giving her scant time to get used to me. I sighed and grunted with pleasure while I thrust steadily in and out. Tabby grunted with each thrust, pushing back at me, urging me deeper with her smooth writhing body. I felt the muscles in her anus grasping my straining cock, working me, milking me, trying to relieve me of my semen.

Her asshole was wonderfully snug, but soon began to loosen under my assault. I began varying my strokes, going shallow, then deep, then swirling around, working that butthole. I was out to make her mine.

"Is this what you meant, take you like a woman?" I gasped, swallowing the pleasure.

"Oh yes Daddy. Just like this."

"Do you like it when Daddy fucks your little butthole?"

"Oh yes, Daddy Cliff. I love your big hard cock in my little butthole," she said in a small voice, looking me in the eyes.

"Is your little butthole mine?" I asked, thrusting deeply and bending down to kiss her. She raised up with mouth open and took my tongue, sucking it like a cock. The kiss was so open, so passionate that I almost climaxed right then.

"I...I love you, Cliff," she said breathlessly.

"I love you too, sweetie," I said, then leaned back and continued thrusting vigorously. I could feel my orgasm start to build.

It was then I noticed her once-again hard cock, lying on her belly in a pool of pre-cum. I slowed down and grasped it, stroking it up and down.

"Can you cum again?" I asked.

"Absolutely, baby, and it won't take much."

Tabby put her hand over mine, slowing me down a little. We became a team then, working together to achieve a mutual climax. I took deep breaths and thought about football to delay my orgasm a little. My aim was to bring Tabby up to the same point I was, then both go for it at the same time.

"Tell me when you're almost there," I gasped. She nodded.

A couple more minutes of steady fucking and stroking, and Tabby looked at me with bright eyes and furrowed brow and gasped, "Almost there!" I let myself concentrate on my pleasure then, noticing the familiar tingle in the head of my cock. It built and then spread down my shaft, then to my whole body. I was floating in a sea of pleasure as it worked its way up my spine, then burst in my brain and I was crying out, "Oh baby! I'm cumming, cumming now!"

"Me too!" she grunted.

I stroked my cock into Tabby's now-compliant asshole and jerked her cock as my sperm raced down my shaft and burst out the end into Tabby's rectum. At the same time, Tabby uttered a high-pitched yelp (her second that night) and began spewing generous gobs of white stuff everywhere, her face a rictus of pleasure and pain.

I pumped until I could pump no more, until I was emptied, then reluctantly pulled my cock out of Tabby's overflowing butthole. I was heaving great breaths and my thighs were trembling, so I collapsed on the bed. Tabby turned to me and cuddled up closely, smearing the cum from her belly on me and kissing my face over and over.

"Oh Daddy Daddy, that was wonderful. I loved it!" she gushed. I turned to her and held her close, kissing her.

I drifted off to sleep then, as I've done so many times, but I woke briefly to find Tabby gently cleaning my cock with a warm washcloth. Then she helped me into my underwear because she knows I don't like sleeping in the nude. Finally she crawled back in beside me, snuggled in close, and pulled my arm over her. She was back in her lingerie.

***

We slept in the next morning, not getting up until around eight-thirty. I watched her leave the bed and pad off to the bathroom in her nightie. A few minutes later, she left the bathroom and went down the hall towards the kitchen, glancing over her shoulder at me. I kept looking at her butt, thinking how like a woman's it looked.

I got up and went to the bathroom myself. When I was finished, I was tired, so I got back into bed. A great feeling of well-being came over me. It was Saturday morning and I had nothing to do except lay around in bed with my lover. Just thinking about what we had done the night before gave me an erection. I still wasn't sure how to react to what was happening. I'd fallen in love with Tad, a gay male. And now, here was Tabby, a ...what? I supposed she was a crossdresser. Tad had been a very good looking, if somewhat feminine man. But Tabby was undeniably well...female.

Tabby came back in the room with two cups of coffee. She put them down carefully and crawled in beside me. She leaned over and gave me my morning kiss. "How are you this morning?" she asked, carefully handing me my cup.

"I'm good," I said, sitting up to take the cup. "How about you?"

"I feel very good this morning," she said. Although she hadn't put on makeup, Tabby still looked very feminine. I noted that her eyebrows were carefully plucked and there wasn't the slightest hint of a beard. Tad may have been born male, but had had his female routine down pat.

I put my coffee down and lay back with my arm behind my head.

"Tabby," I said quietly.

"Yes, baby," she said, looking at me seriously.

"What happens now? I mean, do you intend to begin living as a woman? I'm confused."

She put her cup down and scooched closer to me. She laid her hand on my belly. "I honestly don't know, Cliff. I didn't want us to go along any further without my letting you in on this, this other side of me."

I thought for a moment and said, "You know, you were very good at hiding it from me. I wouldn't have guessed. You left very few clues." And it was true. Tad and I had spent roughly equal amounts of time at each other's places, and yet, aside from seeing an occasional item of feminine makeup or jewelry, I never had guessed that Tad dress as a woman. I had chalked up the lipstick or fingernail polish to his sister. And I had never been in his closet, ever.

"Over the year, I've gotten very good at hiding it from all but a few people. Are you mad at me?"

I reached over and pulled her close. I kissed Tabby gently and heard her moan a little as I did so. The kiss affected me as well: I was getting an erection.

"No. Of course not," I said quietly. "I think you are a lovely young woman. You should do what makes you happy."

She said, "To answer your question about living as a woman, I'm not prepared to make a complete transformation. You see, Cliff, ever since I was young, there has been this conflict, this tension inside of me. I would feel it building up over days or even weeks until it became unbearable. When I couldn't take it anymore, I'd go into my mom's closet and put on her clothes and makeup, stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. Gradually the tension would ease away and I would feel quote 'normal' again. When I got older, I moved out and began buying my own feminine clothes and articles."

"You did this on your own? With no one to help you?" I asked, amazed.

"Not completely. I have a cousin who's about my age. Her name is Bethany. She knows about me. She has helped me over the years with clothes-buying and makeup and such."

"How did she find out? I mean, about you?" I stammered.

Tabby's eyes took on a faraway gaze as she remembered the moment.

"Once my mom and my aunt left Bethany and me together for the day while they went out shopping or something. We were hanging out in her bedroom playing video games when she had to go answer the phone. While she was gone, I poked around in her drawers and in her closet, admiring her girly things. I was so jealous that she got to wear those pretty things and I had to wear boys' clothes. I had picked out a dress I really liked and was holding it on me in front of the mirror when she walked in. I was mortified! I begged her not to tell. And do you know, Cliff, Bethany couldn't have been cooler about the entire thing. We actually spent the rest of the day trying on her clothes."

I couldn't resist. "And her underwear?"

Tabby blushed and punched me on the shoulder. "Yes! Of course! God, I had the biggest hard on I've ever had," she said wistfully, then added, "except with you, of course." Tabby blushed again, hid her face in her hands and buried her face in my neck. I felt her warm breath while she cuddled there.

"And did you, you know, do anything?" I asked.

"No silly! I saw Bethany as my cousin and as my, um, girlfriend. Not as a lover. Although, I saw her looking at me in a funny way several times."

"Do you still see Bethany?" I asked.

"Not much. She lives in another state. What Bethany did, though, was accept me for who I am. She was the first to take me clothes-shopping as a girl. We would meet someplace and I would change into women's clothing and makeup, and we'd go shopping. That was how I got my first women's wardrobe. Would you like to see my feminine clothes?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"I'd rather see them on you," I said.

"I rather figured you'd say that," she said.

"So how do you feel today?" I asked. "Are you going to stay Tabby, or are you going back to being Tad?"

"I'm feeling feminine today. I'd like to stay Tabby. Do you mind?" She asked it lightly, but I could tell from her eyes and the set of her jaw that my answer was important.

"You do whatever makes you comfortable and happy, sweetie," I said, smiling at her.

"Good," she said. "By the way, I want to try something this morning."

"What's that?" I asked.

"I want to give you a nice blowjob, but I want to warm my mouth with coffee first and then go down on you. How does that sound?"

"It sounds intriguing," I said.

"Be right back," she said. She hopped off the bed, feminine ass wiggling out the door. She carried her now-empty coffee cup. Thirty seconds later she was back, holding a steaming cup of coffee.

"Whoa," I said. "That looks hot."

"It is, but it won't be too hot when I put my mouth on that nice hard cock of yours."

She motioned for me to stand up. I did so and she got in front of me and pulled my briefs down. I was semi-erect, but under her gaze, I quickly became fully erect. "So nice," she said quietly.

Tabby got nude as well, and I could see her erection. I was struck once again by how feminine her body looked, despite her cock and the absence of breasts.

I lay back down on the bed and Tabby crawled up beside me. She kissed me deeply and moved down my body until she was level with my cock. She began kissing it from root to tip, moaning softly as she did so. She opened her lips and her pink tongue came out and licked and kissed it all over. She was obviously enjoying herself. Involuntarily, I thrust a little, trying to get her to take it in her mouth. But instead, Tabby picked it up and began rubbing it all over her face, inhaling deeply. She worked her way around the head, concentrating on the sensitive ridge. A large drop of clear pre-cum squeezed out and Tabby leaped it up eagerly. She twirled her sweet tongue around the crown and then pulled away.

"Oh baby," I gasped, "don't stop now."

I saw her turn away, take a gulp of her coffee, and turn back to me. She held the warm liquid in her mouth for a few seconds, swallowed, and then opened up and took almost my entire hard cock in one swift, hungry motion. 

"Oh god!" I cried out as the exquisite heat and sucky softness of Tabby's mouth engulfed me. Her warm, nearly hot mouth worked my cock ardently, sucking hard, relishing me. I had never felt anything like it before. She sucked me from bottom to top, going excruciatingly slowly, her tongue dancing on my shaft the entire way.

When she reached the end, she took her mouth off and, giggling, said, "Mmm! Coffee and cock! How is it?"

"I've never felt anything like it," I answered, and it was true.

"Here I go again," she said.

Once again she took a swallow of coffee, and then swallowed me. Delicious warmth suffused my body and I groaned in pleasure. I lay back, opening my legs wide, trying to get more of my cock into Tabby's avid mouth. I could feel every move her tongue made, feel it wrapping around my shaft, laving my head lovingly. I couldn't help myself and I thrust into her, and she obliged, taking me all the way in before slowly, achingly sucking up from the root to the tip.

One more swallow and she set to work sucking for my climax. With her hot mouth covering about half my cock, she began using her hand on me, going up and down with her head in rhythm. Tendrils of exquisite pleasure made their way through my body and up my spine. I wouldn't be able to stand much more of this before I exploded. She released me momentarily and said, "I love sucking your cock, Cliff. I really do."




A Bend in the Road Ch. 03



"It is sheer heaven for me, babydoll. Are you my little cocksucker?" I asked.

"Yours and yours alone," she replied.

Tabby set to work again with hand and mouth, working me up to a near climax before engulfing me with her loving mouth, sucking ardently and moaning with pleasure. For my part, I was not going to be able to hold out much longer. Tabby's expert ministrations caused my pleasure to build quickly. At last all I could do was gasp, "I'm going to cum very soon!"

"Mmm, give me that hot cum, baby," Tabby said urgently before taking me back into her mouth. Suddenly, the feeling of her mouth, the pressure and rhythm of her hand were too much. My pleasure peaked, became almost painful in its intensity. A sweet-sharp sensation flowed from my ready-to-burst penis into my lower body, and I felt a bead of semen travel down the length of my cock and shoot out the end, accompanied by an explosion of pleasure so intense that I nearly passed out. For long seconds, my cum pumped from me into Tabby's hungry waiting mouth, while I cried out unintelligibly, completely caught up in the throes of my orgasm. My heavens, Tabby (or Tad) could suck a cock!

When she had drained me and swallowed, she crawled up beside me on the bed and snuggled into the crook of my arm. "How was that?" Tabby cooed (with a self-satisfied little smile).

"Unbelievable, as always," I declared a little breathlessly. "Give me a moment to catch my breath and I'll return the favor."

"No need for that, sweetie. I'm going to shower and go out with some of my girl friends. I'll be gone most of the day."

"Oh," I said, a bit disappointed. I had hoped to spend the day with Tabby. Maybe take her out to lunch, get to know her. "Well, when can I see you again?"

"Call me this afternoon around five. We'll decide on something. Do you want the shower first?"

"No, you take it," I said. But I was too late; she was already headed to the bathroom. I looked at her shapely ass twitching and wondered what had happened to the young man I'd fallen for. Maybe it was better that we spend the day apart. Perhaps I needed some time to think about what was happening.

I considered going straight home from Tabby's apartment, but after we'd kissed goodbye I went to the gym instead. There, I indulged myself in a long workout, thinking about what had happened in the course of a day and night. After years of an unsatisfying relationship with my wife Margaret, I had found a very satisfying relationship with a man. But then, that man turned out to be a crossdresser. Or was he a transgender? I wasn't sure. From what Tabby said, it seemed that what I was dealing with was a crossdresser who was also gay. I had heard of straight crossdressers. Those were men who enjoyed dressing like females because it made them feel closer to women. But what about gay male crossdressers? How did they identify? I found both Tad and Tabby very attractive, for similar, but not identical reasons. I loved Tad's somewhat feminine mannerisms and his good looks. But I also loved his maleness. I found his firm, slightly angular, flat-chested body utterly bewitching. And, as I've said before, I adored the ultimate symbol of his maleness, his respectably-sized cock. On the other hand, I was hard-wired to appreciate and be attracted to women as well. And no one, especially me, could have denied that Tabby was an attractive woman. In her dress, her mannerisms, her attentiveness to me and, of course, her lovemaking, Tabby was irrefutably female.

By this time, I had finished my circuit training and I was engaged in a cardio workout on the stair climber. I hated the stair climber because it was hard and tiring. But it was so effective at burning calories and strengthening my thighs that I dared not skip it. Today, I passed a grueling twenty minutes climbing stairs thinking about my predicament. In the end, I was sweaty, tired, and aching. I had also made up my mind about what I wanted.

I wanted both Tad and Tabby, if they would have me.

***

That evening around five, as instructed, I called Tabby on the phone.

"Hi!" she said when I called. "What did you do today?"

"Nothing much," I replied. "Worked out, did some paperwork, watched some cable."

"Did you decide anything about us?" she asked, more seriously.

"I'll tell you over dinner," I said.

"Cliff, are you going to hurt me? If you are, you can just tell me over the phone."

"No. I'm not going to hurt you. I promise. I just need to see you. Tonight."

"Would you prefer to see Tad? Or Tabby?"

"Come as whoever you want. I mean it. I just want a nice evening with whomever you're most comfortable being tonight. I'll be glad to see either one."

"Okay, if you say so. How about picking me up about seven?"

"Perfect," I said. "I'll see you then."

Once again, and as always, I showered and dressed carefully. I had never let Tad see me at anything but my best. The relationship was that important to me. Tonight, I wore a pair of dark blue slacks, a pink shirt and the beige cashmere sweater Tad had given me as a present. I shaved carefully, for the second time that day, and wore just a little of a cologne that I knew Tad liked. My hair, fortunately, was at just the right length, halfway between cuttings, and (I thought) the touches of gray at my temples made me look distinguished. When I was done, I stood in front of the mirror inspecting myself for my Saturday night date. "All right," I said to my reflection, "let's do this."

I got to Tabby's apartment at seven sharp and knocked on the door. From within, I heard "Just a second." A few seconds passed, and the door opened to reveal Tabby dressed in a cowl neck sweater of emerald green over a saffron yellow skirt. She had on white stockings and high heels that matched her skirt.

Tabby's brown hair was growing out a little, but it was still short and above her ears. It was parted on the left and her bangs covered her right eyebrow just a little. She was wearing pearls this night, a single strand around her neck and two in her ears. Tabby's makeup was perfect. On her wrist hung a small purse.

"Oh my heavens," I said. "Don't you look nice."

She smiled and took my breath away. "Thank you, sir," she said, blushing prettily. She cast her eyes down and curtsied. My heart skipped a beat.

Still staring at her, I managed to ask, "Are you ready?"

"Yes," she said. She opened her purse, rummaging a little and muttering, "Keys, cell phone, okay, I'm ready." She looked at the light jacket hanging on the couch. It took me a second, besotted buffoon that I was, to realize what she meant. I quickly grabbed it and draped it over her shoulders. "Thank you," she said.

I took her to the best restaurant in town. I gave the hostess an extra twenty dollars for a secluded table, and she put us in a corner, darkened but lit by a single warm light.

Our waitress, a young woman in her twenties, came and took our order. She gave Tabby a close look, then discreetly smiled and winked at me as she walked away.

"I saw that," Tabby said.

"Saw what?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

"I saw her wink at you and smile," Tabby replied, a slight edge to her voice.

"You know, Tabby, I think that what she was doing was congratulating me on have so beautiful a date."

"Hmph," Tabby snorted, but she smiled a little.

We had chilled sauvignon blanc while we waited for our food.

"So, what's on your mind, Cliff?" Tabby asked.

"Well, all I can say is that your transformation is nothing short of magical. I mean, you make a stunning young woman."

She took a sip of her wine and said slowly, carefully, "It's hard to describe how I feel when I'm dressed and made up like this, when I'm 'Tabby'. On the one hand, I feel exhilarated and free. On the other hand, there is still something of Tad in me that's saying, 'I'm still here.'"

"What will you do about work?" I asked, knowing that at work he was Nurse Tad and not Nurse Tabby.

"I don't know. I suppose that I'll continue dressing as a man for work, at least for the time being. It's funny, Cliff, sometimes I want to dress as a man. I could even say most times I want to dress and act, even feel, as a man. But there are other times when the desire to become Tabby is irresistible. There are times when Tabby feels so right that she can't be denied. Is that pathological?" she asked, draining her glass.

I poured us both another glass of wine. I wanted her to loosen up a little, relax. I want Tabby to know that she could trust me and open up to me, no matter what.

"I certainly don't think it's pathological," I replied earnestly. "I think, like most young people your age, you are deciding who you want to be. It may take some time and soul searching, but you'll figure it out." I took a gulp of wine, and said, "I fell for the person who is Tad and Tabby. You are beautiful as Tabby, and handsome as Tad. Physically, to me, you are perfect. But who I'm really in love with is you. The inner you. The person who's funny and caring and gentle and passionate. Whether you're wearing men's clothing or women's that will not change.

Tears glistened in her eyes. "I always seem to be crying around you nowadays," she said, dabbing with her napkin.

"Baby, you have nothing to cry about," I said gently.

She gave a little laugh, sniffed a little, and looked down. At that moment, our waitress came with the food. Tabby had a small boneless pork chop with home fries and steamed broccoli. I had grilled salmon, brown rice and steamed green beans dressed with a vinaigrette sauce. I ordered another bottle of wine.

The rest of the meal went well. She had gone shopping with her female friends that day, actually some nurses from work. They had known about her for a while, Tabby said, but it was not common knowledge around the hospital.

"Do you see a problem with working there?" I asked.

"I don't think so," she replied, "but the older nurses can be a bit traditional. The fact that I'm gay has never been an issue, at least not with most people. But this might present a problem to the wrong person. However, I do have a backup plan."

"Oh yeah, what is it?" I asked.

"There is a rich old gentleman in town whose health is failing. He's from old family money. Very prominent. He has been after me for quite some time to become his private nurse. The pay would be better, and there would be benefits. But I've been reluctant to take the opportunity."

"Why?"

"Because I love hospital nursing. I love the camaraderie of the other nurses and of the doctors. It's what I'm used to. It's how I was trained."

"Does this old gentleman know about Tabby?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact he does. One night when he was a patient and I was working nights, we had a conversation. You know, one of those three a.m. conversations where you tell your secrets. It was during that conversation that he asked me to come work for him. I told him that I wasn't sure I was right for the job. He said that was nonsense and asked why." Tabby took a bit of her food and a large swallow of wine. I could tell it was starting to affect her. "Cliff, in a weak moment, I not only told him I was gay, but that I liked to dress in women's clothing sometimes."

"How did he react?" I asked.

"He began crying," Tabby said. "He said that, in that big old house that he lived in, there was a closet that he kept locked, and only he had the key. In the locked closet he kept his 'fineries' as he called them. There were dresses, petticoats, blouses, undergarments, all the things he'd accumulated in a lifetime of crossdressing.

"Is he gay?" I asked.

"No. He's straight. But in all his life, he'd never been able to wear his feminine attire outside of his bedroom for fear of being discovered and publicly humiliated."

"Wow, that's quite a story," I said, pouring us both another glass of wine. We were both nearly finished with our meal, but my head was swimming a little. I want to keep Tabby talking, though.

Tabby continued, "Quite a few years back, he said, he'd hired a photographer to take some pictures of him in his female clothing. There were even some 'boudoir' shots as he called them."

"Don't tell me," I said, "the photographer tried to blackmail him."

"Happily, no," Tabby said. "They're quite professional, and he's very fetching in them. He told me they are his prized possessions among all his wealth."

"He sounds very special," I said quietly.

"He is a special old gent," Tabby said. "He told me that if I came to work for him, I could dress any way I wanted, any time I wanted. I would never have to worry about anything professionally."

By this time, we were finished with our meal. Our waitress came by and asked if we wanted dessert. I looked at Tabby. She shook her head no. "How about two coffees?" I asked. The waitress nodded and left.

"Well Tabby, all I can say is it sounds like a good opportunity," I said.

"I know. I just haven't decided. Sometimes I just can't make up my mind."

"Well, whatever you decide, I'm behind you all the way," I said.

"Does that mean that all this," she gestured to herself, "isn't too weird for you?"

I held her hand in mine and looked into her clear blue eyes. "I'll admit that it's going to take a little adjusting on my part. But I meant what I said. I'll be here for you as long as you want me."

Tabby looked at me, finished her coffee and said, "Take me home, Cliff." She had a naughty twinkle in her eye.

On the drive home Tabby got as close to me as she could (my car has bucket seats), and kept her hand in my lap, playing with my thigh. Needless to say, driving safely was a challenge.

We got back to her apartment, put on a movie (I honestly don't remember which one.) and began making out on the couch. We hadn't bothered to undress; we just caressed each other through our clothes. I was kissing her, savoring her breath, her taste, her lips, when I suddenly had to have her in my mouth. I slid down to the floor and knelt in front of her. I pushed her skirt up to reveal, oh my god, frilly light green panties and a matching garter belt. The sheer material of the panties could hardly contain her sizable, fully erect penis. It strained against the material, a quarter-sized wet spot showing where her panties met the tip. Tabby had thoughtfully put her panties on over her garter belt, so when I hooked my thumbs under the elastic waistband and pulled, all she had to do was raise her fanny up to divest herself of the garment.

I pushed her knees apart and laid my head on her smooth flat belly. Her cock was right at the level of my mouth and nose, twitching slightly with excitement. I could feel its heat, smell its light musky scent. I kissed the head, running my lips and tongue lovingly over it, moaning as I did so. I opened my mouth and the warm hardness slid home as if it belonged there. A great feeling of contentment washed over me. I was sucking a cock, something I had always wanted to do. And it wasn't just any cock, it was the cock of the person I loved. I opened wider, taking more inside.

With my mouth full of Tabby's delicious prick, I sucked hard, feeling a drop of salty pre-cum ooze out of the slit on the end.

"Oh baby, that is so, so good," Tabby purred. It was music to my ears.

"Mmmm," I moaned, unwilling to relinquish her cock, even for a second.

I kissed her from her sparse tangle of pubic hair all the way to the helmet head, loving every one of her seven inches, savoring every moment, every nuzzle, every kiss. What I lacked in cocksucking experience, I made up in ardor, as Tabby's sighs and moans testified.

"Do you love me, Cliff?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yes baby, I love you."

"Do you love sucking my cock?"

"Yes baby. I love love love it."

"Oh baby!" she gasped as I swallowed her completely, laving her shaft with my tongue, feeling the head nuzzling the back of my throat.

I released her for a second. "Tabby honey, please give me your sweet cum. I want to do this for you. I want you to know how much I care."

I swallowed her again, my whole being centered on this wonderful hot thick penis in my mouth. It felt like a part of me. A wave of sensuality swept over me as I realized how intimate mine and Tabby's connection was at that moment.

I began moving my head up and down on her cock, and pumping gently with my fist, hoping to coax some sweet semen out. Tabby spread her stocking-clad legs wide, allowing me full access to her groin. Her soft, scented pubic hair tickled my nose. I felt her fingers in my hair, urging me on.

There was nothing in the world for me right then except the feel, taste, and smell of my lover's cock in my mouth. Her pre-cum leaked steadily now, giving me a taste of what was to come. I sucked and pumped. Tabby grunted in ecstasy, fingers twisting in my hair, thrusting her steel-hard phallus in and out of my mouth. Every fiber of my being became concentrated into one point, that point being the place where her body and my body connected: my mouth. There was nothing in the world I'd ever wanted more than for Tabby's cum to flood me. I wanted to taste her, savor her essence, swallow her hot juicy load and feel it slide down to my belly. I was in love with this cock and the person attached to it.

My efforts soon paid off. Tabby began gasping, sobbing, "Oh Cliff baby, I'm going to cum!! I'm going to cum in your sweet mouth! Oh! Oh! Oh!"

And I felt the hot salty spurts of sperm shoot out of her cock into my hungry waiting mouth. She bucked and jerked, grunting and sending the semen into my mouth with great force. I kept her inside, sucking gently, swallowing as best I could, riding out the storm in her loins, loving every precious drop of man-seed.

When the flow stopped, I slowly disengaged myself, sucking as I backed off, swallowing the last drop as I let go the tip. I crawled back up on the couch and took Tabby into my arms. She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me deeply. I got up and pulled her up with me and led her into the bedroom. We made love all night long.

The next morning, I awoke to the sunlight from the window in my eyes. I reached over to find Tabby, but I was alone in the bed. Then I heard the toilet flush and the bathroom door opened and out stepped a handsome young man in a clean white tee shirt and jockey shorts.

"Good morning," I said, yawning.

"Good morning," he said.

"Is this Tabby or Tad I'm speaking to?" I asked carefully.

"This is Tad, silly," he said, coming over to sit on the side of the bed. He leaned down and kissed me with toothpaste-fresh mouth. "And how are we today?"

"I'm fine," I said, throwing back the cover to reveal my morning hard-on. "Not bad for an old man, huh?" I asked, smiling.

"I'm surprised you can even get it up, as much as you used that thing last night." He patted his bottom. "I'm a little sore this morning."

"What can I say? I missed you. A lot."

"And I appreciate it, lover."

I sat up in bed, which gave me a few seconds to choose my words carefully. "So, no Tabby this morning?"

"No. Tad is back, at least for awhile. I love being Tabby. I am Tabby, at least part of me is, all the time. But Tabby can go back into the closet with her clothes for now." Then he stopped, took a deep breath, looked at me and asked, "Is that too weird? I mean, can you handle that, Cliff? Because if you can't, I need to know now. I'll admit it: I've fallen hard for you. But if you can't deal with me, with us, I mean Tad and Tabby, I need to know before we go further."

I looked up at his face, his blue eyes, his adorable nose, his shapely lips, his clear skin. I looked at his slender neck, his smoothly muscled arms, his fine beautiful hands. I considered his wit and humor, his warmth, his passion and his caring attitude. I thought about all those qualities that had attracted me to Tad in the first place and inserted them into the feminine frame that was Tabby. And in the end, it made no difference whether this person before me wore a dress or a pair of khakis. I wanted to be with the person. And if that person needed to be male one day and female the next, who was I to judge?




A Bend in the Road Ch. 03



I looked into Tad's eyes and said, very slowly and carefully, "I can handle it. It doesn't make any difference to me whether you are Tad or Tabby or whoever. I want to be with you for as long as you'll have me."

"I always seem to be crying around you," Tad said as tears spilled from his eyes. I pulled him down and kissed him and held him. We stayed that way for a long time.