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Something to Offer Ch. 01

By: Penelope Street



Part 1 of 2: My First Love 

Reclining on my sofa, I watch my pre-pubescent teenage daughter playing on the lawn with several other neighborhood girls, knowing these carefree days are short-lived indeed. I realize that she'll soon be interested in rolling around with boys instead of girls, even if she doesn't want to admit it. 

The prospect of having mature discussions with my daughter, of helping guide her through the difficult time to follow, leads my thoughts back to my own sexual awakenings; a curious tale that ends with her miraculous conception at the very moment I discovered the true love of my life.

Not that my amorous activity started out on a high note. My initial experience was with the boy next-door. Not the proverbial, good-natured, wholesome boy next-door, but the far more common pompous jackass next-door. Of course, at the time I thought he was the handsome husband-to-be next-door. This fantasy was painfully crushed when all the bastard had to say the next day was, "Tubby babe like you better learn to swallow, 'cause you got nothing else to offer."

Although I didn't understand at the time what he meant, I knew it was a rejection; and not just any stray dismissal, but a stinging rebuke based solely upon my stocky stature. In retrospect, I should have told my mom, but I never did. Instead, I allowed this single slur to scar my psyche throughout most of adolescence.

Even so, my early high school years were generally enjoyable. I participated in some of the more academic extra-curricular activities. I had my share of friends, all of them female. The closest of these were Lynn and Denise, whom I had known since elementary school. By the time the three of us reached high school, we were a tight-knit trio, sharing our joys, dreams, and sorrows.

The one thing I never shared however was this nagging voice in the back of my mind, "No boy will ever want you." I had even begun to console myself that at least I'd loved and lost; if only once, when an odd request changed the course of my love life, and most likely the rest of my life as well.

It began one Friday afternoon in mid-November of my senior year, when I was walking to the school bus and Billy Drake appeared suddenly at my side. 

"Hi, Wendy."

I looked about, as if there might be another Wendy nearby, so surprised was I that one of the athletic crowd would deign to speak to me. 

"Hi," I replied tentatively, certain there must be a catch.

Billy's gaze shifted to the pavement before us. "You're eighteen, right?" 

"Yes." It was true; I'd legally become an adult just in time to be one of the six or so people in Pennsylvania that favored Jimmy Carter over Ronald Reagan.

"You suppose," Billy half-mumbled, "that I could, uh, ask you to buy me some beer?"

I stopped. My first inclination was to summarily reject the request, but I filed my spite under 'unnecessary' and changed my mind. "Ok," I agreed with a shrug.

Billy's eyebrows shot up. "Cool!" He grabbed my hand and began to lead me in the opposite direction. 

"Uh," I muttered. "Where are we going?"

"To my car," Billy replied curtly, as if I was daft not to have known.

After a few paces I realized a jock was really walking with me and holding my hand. Not that I had any foolish delusions that I was his girl or anything, but I found myself smiling just the same. I couldn't resist the impulse to grip his hand back.

The instant Billy felt my returned pressure he shook his hand. My spirits sank for all of a second before I heard a dull thud and saw Billy flinch out of the corner of my eye. I turned to search for the source of the noise just in time to see Billy's crumpled athletic jacket slide from his body to the ground.

"Sally was right!" came a voice to my left, beyond Billy. "You are a two-timing prick!" I craned my head from behind my companion to see the speaker. I expect my eyes must have widened considerably as I saw Cindy Pierce.

Cindy's face was so exquisite, her figure so fine, that one could practically hear the crackle of cocks hardening whenever she walked past. One of the upper echelon, she'd have been a serious candidate for prom queen if she'd only paired up with an equally elite athlete, instead of just an ordinary jock. In spite of the accompanying drop in her social status, Cindy had remained Billy's on-again, off-again, girlfriend for as long as anyone could remember.

"It's not what it looks like," Billy stammered.

Cindy crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Really?" 

Billy declined to meet her stare or answer her allegation, opting instead to reach down and pick up his jacket. 

The awkward silence got the better of me. "We're just going to get some beer," I said.

Cindy merely tilted her head and smirked.

"Yeah," agreed Billy, standing. "We're just getting some beer for after the game."

Cindy's brow jumped into her forehead. "And you need to hold hands for that?" 

"Well, uh, we... " Billy stammered, worse than before.

Cindy sighed as she uncrossed her arms. "I didn't think so." She turned and stalked away. 

Billy's gaze remained rooted to the ground as the gathering of chance onlookers slowly dispersed.

"I'm sorry," I finally offered, breaking his trance.

"Well," Billy shrugged. "I think it was about time for our monthly break-up anyway."

For the remainder of our silent walk to Billy's car I kept trying to convince myself that it wasn't my fault that Cindy had dumped Billy, but no matter how many ways I found to tell myself, I couldn't find one way to listen. The initial portion of the ride was more of the same. Neither of us spoke a word until we reached the liquor store.

Billy retrieved his wallet and handed me a twenty. "Get a couple six packs."

I took the bill. "What brand?"

Billy shrugged. "Whatever's cheap."

I felt like public enemy number one walking into FBI headquarters as I entered the establishment. After gaining my bearings, I found the beer cooler, grabbed the cheapest swill I could find and then headed for the counter. All my apprehension was for naught; the old man at the register barely looked at me, let alone ask for my ID.

Back in the parking lot, I opened the car door and set the cans in as far as I could reach before climbing in myself. Only after I'd settled in did I realize that I'd put the beer directly atop Billy's jacket. 

"I'm sorry," I said, lifting the cans to the side before attempting to straighten the garment.

"Don't worry about it," said Billy. "This is my last semester in sports anyway." He tossed the jacket in the back seat as if he were tossing garbage into a dumpster.

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

Billy sighed. "I'm failing second year math. Again. I'll be lucky to graduate. If I could find a job, I'd take it and dropout tomorrow."

I stared at the floor. I was sure I was going to Pitt. I never put much thought into the plight of those not destined for college. "I could help," I suggested. "If you want."

"What?" Billy asked. "Find a job?"

"No," I replied, trying not to laugh. "I could help you with your math."

"Huh," Billy snorted. "Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean you can make it easy for me."

"I didn't say it would be easy," I responded. "I just offered to help." 

I turned my attention out the passenger side window; very much wishing the trip would soon be over. Only then did I realize we weren't heading toward my house. I turned back to Billy. "I live the other way."

"What?"

"You're going the wrong way," I said. "I live off highway eight, southeast of town." 

"Damn," Billy uttered in a subtle, yet serious, way. After a few seconds of consideration, he looked my direction. "You sure you don't want to go to the game?" 

Football has always been big in western Pennsylvania, never more so than when I was a senior. The Steelers reign as kings of the NFL was still so fresh we didn't realize it was over. Pitt and Penn State were both ranked in the top ten. Our high school was a perennial district power. The successes of the local teams were a stark contrast to the failure of the local economy; many turned to the gridiron as a means of inspiration or, at the very least, distraction. The game, however, had never interested me; I knew Dan Marino was cute, Terry Bradshaw wasn't, and that was about it.

"I'd rather go home," I declared before adding, "if it won't make you late for the game."

"Nah," Billy replied, steering the car into a convenient parking lot. "Plenty of time. We just get together before the game and hang out anyway."

For a moment, the thought of seeing how the proverbial other-half lived appealed to me, but I figured Billy would ditch me as soon as we were there and then I'd either be bored or begging a ride. Besides, my mom would wonder where I was and probably worry, even though I wasn't specifically forbidden from going places without informing her.

Billy guided the car back onto the road going the opposite direction. The conversation during the remainder of the journey consisted of small talk. I felt he was just as uncomfortable having me in the car as I was being there.

"Thanks for getting the beer," Billy said as he pulled into my driveway.

"No problem," I replied as the vehicle came to a halt. I opened my door, intent on departing.

"Did you mean what you said?" Billy asked, delaying my exit.

I looked over my left shoulder at him. "About what?"

"About maybe helping me with my math."

"Sure," I shrugged. "I guess; I mean if you want to. When?"

Billy nodded solemnly. "Soon."

"Next week?"

Billy raised his eyebrows in a begging manner. "Tomorrow?" 

I smiled. "Ok."

Billy replied with a grin. "Great. How about I pick you up about six?"

"Fine," I nodded, resuming my departure.

"Thanks," Billy added as I closed the door.

I nodded in reply and gave a tentative wave before walking around the front of the vehicle.

"You're ok," Billy called from an open window as I reached my porch. I stood wondering what to make of this minor compliment as he backed his car from the drive and sped away.

* * * * *

I prepared for my upcoming tutoring appointment as if it was a true date. Sure, I knew Billy just wanted to stay in sports, but I also knew that I'd have him all to myself for at least a slice of an evening. I took two baths, combed my hair for half an hour, and changed my outfit a half dozen times. 

I expected my mom to drill me over going to so much effort for a study session, but she only smiled and offered the use one of her girdles. In hindsight, I'm sure she understood all too well what I was experiencing. 

Although initially repulsed by the idea of borrowing anything of my mother's, a little before-and-after comparison convinced me otherwise. I eventually settled on my best push-up bra, a low cut white blouse, a snug pair of jeans and a black sweater. 

To Billy's credit, he didn't keep me waiting, his headlights illuminating the drive promptly at six, followed by a quick beep of his horn. I was at first dejected he didn't even bother to come to my door, but reminded myself it wasn't a real date. Gathering my belongings, I walked out to meet him wearing a genuine smile in addition to my carefully selected attire.

Climbing into the passenger seat, the dome light provided me with a good view of Billy's grease-stained jeans and ragged T-shirt. I concluded that he was indeed interested in studying, nothing more, and chided myself for being foolish enough to have a glimmer of hope that we might eventually be more than study pals.

To my surprise, Billy noticed that I had noticed. "Sorry 'bout the grubs," he explained. "I was helpin' James with his Nova and I didn't have time to go home and change."

"No big deal," I replied. "Not like it's a date or anything."

"No," Billy snorted, putting the transmission in reverse. "I guess not."

My eyes fell to the seat and a card with the words "Happy Birthday" over a small bouquet of flowers.

"Is it your birthday?" I asked, lamenting that I might have missed an opportunity to express my interest with a gift.

"Not until Wednesday," Billy replied. "Cindy just mailed it a bit early, I guess."

"Cindy?" I all but gasped. "Are you two back together?"

"No," Billy began. "She mailed it the day before we broke up. That's what I meant by a bit early. Go ahead and read it if you want. Pretty funny if you ask me."

My hand moved toward the card as if it was a snake. Picking it up, I flipped to the interior. There, below the token sentiment were Cindy's words:

Happy Birthday Billy! 

But this card isn't really your real birthday present. You wait and see. I love you more than you can know, and I always will. 

Love, Cindy. 

I tongued my lips as I finished reading, unsure what I should say. Eventually I settled upon nothing and simply returned the card to its spot.

Looking at the road ahead through Billy's gritty windshield, it dawned on me I had no idea where we were going; or, for that matter, why. I had been so excited about the occasion I had never considered Billy's intended destination.

"Where are we going?" I asked, trying not to sound concerned.

"My place," Billy replied nonchalantly. "Why?"

"Nothing," I shrugged. "Just seems a bit silly when we might just as well have studied at mine."

"We can go back, if you want," Billy offered, "but I'd rather change first, if that's ok."

"No big deal," I replied. "Just trying to save you a bit of gas."

Billy nodded his agreement. "Good idea. Let's do that next time."

"Deal," I said quickly, thrilled there might be a next time.

Billy's home was a row house from the early part of the century, on a hill overlooking downtown. Even in the relatively dim moonlight I could tell it had seen better days. Many houses looked that way in that era of double-digit inflation and similar unemployment, but I had somehow harbored the silly expectation that all the popular kids must live in houses nicer than mine.

I still don't know if I looked surprised or if Billy was already self-conscious about his dwelling, but he at once addressed the structure's condition. "Hope you'll pardon the mess. The house is a bit old; y' know."

"No problem. I like Victorians," I said, hoping to sooth any embarrassment he felt.

Billy tilted his head and examined the facade with some scrutiny before asking, "What's a Victorian?"

"It's the style of home," I answered. "From when Queen Victoria was alive."

Billy grunted, shrugged, and then nodded. "Never knew we ever had a queen." He moved to the porch and unlocked the door. Throwing the portal open, he reached inside to turn on the light and then stood aside so that I might enter first.

"Thank you," I said, and walked through the opening into the foyer, which was really just a wide corridor with a stairway to one side.

Immediately a feminine voice issued from a room to my left. "Billy? Is that you?"

"Yeah, Mom," Billy called back, closing and re-locking the door.

A tall woman appeared wearing a simple blue bathrobe, her hair in curlers. She stiffened when she saw me, apparently not expecting her son to have company. 

"This is Wendy," Billy said simply. "We're gonna study math a bit together."

Billy's mother smiled. "Really? Well, that's wonderful. Please, Wendy, make yourself right at home."

I nodded politely and smiled. "Why, thank you, ma'am." 

"Yeah, mom, thanks," Billy added, in a tone far more dismissive than grateful.

Mrs. Drake sighed. "Ok. I'll leave you to your studying." She retired with a deliberate reluctance, back the way she had come. I realized with some horror that I often treated my mother the same way, and resolved to catch myself next time and do better.

"This way," Billy said, motioning with an open palm up the stairs.

I led until I reached a small landing crowded with five closed doors.

"First one on the right," Billy directed.

I opened the door and tentatively pawed the wall inside for a light switch.

"It's a bit low," Billy said, reaching his arm underneath mine. He flipped the switch, illuminating his room. "Maybe people were shorter back then."

I giggled politely at the mild jest and entered the room. I was prepared for a total mess, having heard some of my friends talk about their brothers. I was relieved to find it cluttered, but nowhere near the sty I had anticipated. 

Billy moved to his desk and with both arms gathered the pile of loose papers. He looked aimlessly about for a better location for them before finally settling on the foot of his unmade bed. "I'll be right back with another chair," he said, darting from the room.

I chuckled to myself, thinking that at least he could count to two.

When Billy returned and the true tutoring began however, I found very little room for amusement. I quickly discovered that Billy really wanted to learn, but he simply didn't have the mental faculties to do so. Sure, I knew I was smarter than most, but I never quite grasped until then that claims of "I don't get it!" were sometimes true. I had always imagined other students got poor grades because they were lazy.

Inside of half an hour, the combination of the close quarters, the Drake's thermostat setting, and perhaps my own frustration level, left me feeling a bit overheated. Hoping a little more comfort might provide a fresh perspective, I removed my sweater and tossed it on the bed atop Billy's pile of papers.

Whatever interest Billy might have had in numbers vanished in favor of trying to look down my blouse. At first I was annoyed by his lack of attention to what I considered to be the topic at hand. Soon enough though, I became excited by his fascination with my breasts; I intentionally leaned and moved in various ways to give him a better view. 

I wondered if Billy had a hard-on and even dropped my pencil once as an excuse to take a peek, but my reconnoitering proved inconclusive. Nevertheless the final portion of our studying was far more enjoyable, and no less effective, than had been the first part.

The trip home was mostly forgettable. I think I spent the bulk of the trip trying to think of something interesting to say, and saying nothing instead. 

"When do you want to meet next?" I asked as the car pulled into my drive.

Billy shrugged. "Soon."

"Wednesday?" I offered, before reconsidering. "Oh, I forgot that's your birthday."

"Doesn't matter," Billy said. "I'm not doing anything anyway."

I smiled. "Ok, then. Wednesday it is."

* * * * *

I awoke the next morning fairly aglow, feeling more alive than I ever had before; a boy had finally shown an interest in me, a decidedly physical interest. A cute and available boy, too. I resolved that if there was an opportunity for more than mere ogling, I was not going to miss it.

I spent the next several days learning everything I could about physical intimacy. The public library and the local smut shop turned out to be excellent complementing sources. I discovered what the boy next door had meant with his once-cryptic slam. 

After I got over the shock, I decided that if that's what a pudgy girl had to do to get a guy, then that's what I would do. Looking back, I can easily see that I all but oozed insecurity, but I was also resolute. I purchased a dildo and began practicing; determined that when the time came, I would be ready.

My excitement mounted as the Wednesday before Thanksgiving approached and with it our alleged study session, though cracking the books was no longer on my agenda. Keeping an eye on Billy as much as I dared in the interim, I had some confidence when his car pulled into my drive that he and Cindy had not yet reconciled.

I still smile when I recall the twice over Billy gave me as I answered the door. My sheer black blouse really got his attention.


Something to Offer Ch. 01



"Hi," was all the boy could mutter. His eyes kept falling to my bosom as if they were made of lead and gravity had suddenly tripled.

"We're in the basement," I said, motioning which way he should go.

"You've got a nice house," noted Billy, checking out the decor as he went.

"Thanks," I said, following him down the stairs.

"Where?" Billy asked, stopping at the bottom.

"Anywhere," I answered. "This level's all mine."

"Really?"

"Sure," I nodded. "It's just mom and me here most of the time. She gets the upstairs."

"So," Billy said. "Your parents are divorced too?"

"No," I replied. "My dad's in the navy; on submarines. He's gone for a few months, then he's home for a few months."

"Wow," Billy said. "You're lucky."

"Why? Because my dad's gone?"

Billy shook his head. "No. Because you have one at all."

"Oh. Maybe so, but I don't have a desk," I noted, in a semi-apologetic tone. "I usually just study on the bed, or the couch." Truth was, I hardly studied at all and I'd moved my desk into the garage as a pretext to get him on the bed or the couch.

"Couch'll do," he replied.

As I had hoped, Billy focused on me instead of the ostensible subject at hand. I replied by leaning on him, grazing his shoulders and arms with my breasts as often as I dared. The evening seemed to be going just as I had planned, yet I wasn't sure how or when I should raise the stakes.

I was at a complete loss what to do next when Billy provided me with what turned out to be a golden opportunity. "Can I use your bathroom?" he asked, after several minutes of mysterious wiggling.

"Sure," I motioned through my bedroom. "It's on the right, beyond the closet."

"Thanks," Billy said.

As soon as the door shut I sprang to action. I ditched my bra and pants, leaving only my see-through blouse and my panties. Killing all the lights save my reading lamp, I reclined upon my bed. Lying on my side with my head propped up on my left hand, I waited, reminding myself to breathe.

I confess, a nagging voice begged me to abandon my all-or-nothing gambit. I suppressed the suggestion, convinced my chances would never be better than they were at that instant. Even so, I had to resist one last urge to grab my blanket when the sharp creak of wood signaled the door's opening.

Billy had the stunned look I expected when his eyes found me.

With a deep breath, I gathered my reserve confidence. "You want to maybe take a break from the studying?"

Billy just stood there.

After a few seconds, I felt the moment somehow slipping away. I tried to appear calm even as a sense of desperation sought to overwhelm me. "Did you wash your dick?" I asked.

Billy's brow straightened. "What?"

"You did just pee, didn't you?"

His eyes wandered. "Yes."

"I was thinking you should still get a special birthday present." I tilted my head down and my eyes up. "But I think it should be clean first, don't you?"

Billy's body went rigid as his eyes grew noticeably wider. I licked my lips for emphasis. He bolted for the washroom. When he did return, the bulge in his jeans left little doubt as to the location and state of his cock. He moved to where I reclined, standing before me with obvious expectation, but bashful nonetheless.

Billy's reticent demeanor left me feeling completely in control. I hesitated for but a moment before boldly reaching out and grabbing his belt, pulling him to the edge of my bed. With my free hand I fumbled for his zipper. Resolving to calm down and not look like such a rookie, I moderated my pace and soon found the elusive metal tab. Then, with a slowness I judged to be sensual, I lowered it.

I could hear Billy's heavy breathing above. All doubts I had that he may not have really wanted me were long gone. In spite of my corresponding arousal, I resolved to go even slower and savor every moment.

Loosening the belt and his trousers, I pulled Billy's underwear down just enough to reveal the tip of his cock. I looked up to his eyes, moved my face forward, and tentatively licked the exposed portion of his shaft. Billy let out a gasp as my tongue lingered for just a moment on the apex of his crown. As I withdrew I noticed a bead of moisture replace my tongue at its aperture. 

Emboldened, I loosened his jeans more and pulled his shorts down, tucking them neatly under his balls. His cock was free, though it showed not the slightest inclination to succumb to gravity. I reached forth and grasped the base of his shaft.

I moved my tongue to the edge of his sac before drawing it at a deliberate pace along the underside, all the way to the tip. Without ever removing my tongue I brought his cock horizontal and took the head within my mouth. The single drop became a steady seepage as my tongue explored his engorged knob and my lips applied a steady, sensuous massage to the veined region beyond.

Soon Billy's hips began to move in a slow, rhythmic gyration, at first inviting me to accept more of his cock, but soon compelling me to do so. "Oh," he gasped feebly between pants. "You are so good."

I picked up my own pace to match his movement. Curving my tongue, I formed a trough to guide his cock as it pistoned within my mouth. I felt his shaft harden and widen as his more supple head flared and expanded. I thought his release might be imminent, but I wasn't sure. For the first time, I felt out of control, uncertain what I should do next.

To my surprise, Billy's hips stopped moving. I paused in kind. "I'm really close," he said between breaths.

I slid my lips from his shaft and began to stroke it gently with my hand. "So?"

"So," Billy's eyes wandered. "I thought you might want to finish me with your hand." He looked back to me before adding, "Or something."

I smiled broadly; pleased both by his unexpected sense of chivalry and that I felt once more in command. "What's the matter?" I asked with feigned modesty, "Didn't any of your other girlfriends ever do it right?" 

I immediately engulfed his rod and began to suck it vigorously. I kept my eyes locked to his pubic patch, unwilling to check his expression. I'd just claimed to be his girlfriend and wasn't confident of his opinion of the matter.

"Oh yeah," Billy gasped, as his hips quickly resumed their movement. "Oh," he practically begged. "Go for it."

I did, and I had not far to go. Billy issued a low moan, like my dog used to do when I rubbed behind his ears. His cock's head flared dramatically, becoming hard and wide in an instant. From my research, I expected to feel his cock pulse but I got no such warning before his first blast coated my palate and tongue. The suddenness and magnitude of the eruption shocked me; although I could feel his cock throbbing, there seemed to be naught but a steady geyser filling my mouth.

I froze, stunned not only by the volume of the fluid, but also the flavor and texture as it coated every surface of my mouth. I resisted the impulse to at once expel both the viscous mass and its source. Instead, I just puffed my cheeks wide and clamped my lips around his cock for the duration of his orgasm.

As I felt his offering subside, I glance up at Billy. His wide eyes were locked upon my face. "Oh, jeez." He blinked and shook his head. "You are so hot."

I moved away from his body, allowing his shrinking member to slide from my mouth. As I did so, a thread of semen trailed from my lips, clinging resiliently to the tip. For the first time, I felt truly naughty, but in a fun and wonderfully wicked way. 

Looking up to Billy, I brought my right index finger vertical, twirling it in the stream. With a devious grin, I popped the digit into my mouth and sucked it clean before I downed his load in a single resolute gulp. 

Satisfied I had properly accomplished my task; I withdrew, locked my hands behind my head, and lay back upon my pillow with a broad smile on my face. "Happy Birthday."

Billy's mouth fell open, but two breaths passed through it before his simple response followed. "Thanks."

"How'd I do?" I couldn't help asking, though I knew well the answer.

Still panting, Billy dropped to his knees by my side, leaving his pants in their state of disarray. "That was awesome," he muttered, laying his head upon my pudgy midsection, his eyes locked upon my own.

Stroking my fingers through Billy's moist hair, I realized at that instant his eyes beheld me not only as the most beautiful girl in the world, but as the only girl in the world. It felt so wonderful to be looked at in that way. Deep inside, I had the confidence to believe it was not the last time a lover would so adore me.

* * * 

I found much to be thankful for on turkey day, but lingering doubts echoed in the corners of mind. Was I really Billy's girlfriend, or just an isolated cheap thrill? I cursed my foolish planning, that I had left four days before I would see him again; four days for him to forget me; four days for him to pick up the phone and call Cindy.

I need not have worried. Billy did pick up the phone early Friday afternoon, but it was me he rang. "Are you busy tonight?"

"No," I replied in a hesitant yet hopeful manner.

"Well, would you like to maybe go to a movie?" he asked, just as tentatively. "If you still want to be my girlfriend, that is."

His words ricocheted through my head like an echo from some distant dream I never expected to become a reality. I could feel my heart pound as I came to comprehend it was all true: a boy had asked me out on a date! It seemed like such a big question in one's life deserved a big response, but I couldn't think of one. "Sure," I replied.

"Cool," Billy said. "The usual time?"

"Six?"

"Great," Billy concluded. "Maybe we can even grab a bite after the movie."

A big bite, I hoped. "Sounds good," I said.

"Ok," Billy agreed. "See you then." 

"Yeah," I concluded. "See you then." Hanging up the phone, I wandered into the living room and collapsed on the sofa. I actually had a boyfriend. My euphoria was unbounded. I lay there the rest of the afternoon just wondering if my life had reached its pinnacle. Surely, I thought, it can't get any better than this.

* * *

"Did you see the game?" Billy asked as he backed his car out of my drive.

"No, I didn't go," I admitted. "Who'd we play?"

"No," Billy snickered. "We play tomorrow afternoon. Pitt just beat Penn State 14-9"

"Oh," I replied sheepishly. "I didn't see that one either."

"Well, do you at least know what movie you want to see?" Billy asked.

I shrugged. "Anything's ok with me."

"What have you seen?"

I thought a moment, but could not come up with a good fib. "Nothing."

"How about Private Benjamin?"

"Ok," I answered quickly, knowing life did get better. Not only did I have a boyfriend, but he was also taking me to a bona fide chic flick.

Billy chose to drive all the way to New Kensington, a half-hour away. I'm still not exactly sure why. I wondered at the time if he wanted to get far enough away that he would not likely be seen with me. Whatever the case, the long trip taught me that, while life could get better, it was also not always as good as it seemed. 

Our conversation was all small talk, primarily because Billy's brain wasn't big enough for anything else. Sure, I had a boyfriend, but he was a moron: a handsome, sexy, and even considerate moron to be sure, but a moron nonetheless. 

I had, however, concluded by the time we got to the theater that boys frequently dated girls who weren't too bright just because they were pretty and put out, so it was ok for me to do the same. 

My dilemma thus resolved, I very much enjoyed the silly little movie, the cheap fast food afterwards, the equally silly chatter on the drive home, and the blowjob in our school parking lot.

When we finally arrived at my house, Billy even bothered to get out and walk me to the door. 

"When can I see you again?" he asked as we reached the porch.

I resisted the temptation to blurt out 'Anytime!' and pretended to think about it as if I had a busy schedule. "Sunday night's ok," I suggested. "If we don't stay out too late."

"Do you like to do anything besides movies?"

"Well," I glanced down at the cement as I rubbed it lightly with the tip of my shoe. "We could just stay in and study." I bounced my eyebrows as I spoke that last word.

"Study?" Billy tilted his head. "I thought Wednesday was our study day."

"And what happened on Wednesday?"

Billy had to think for a few moments. "Oh," he finally nodded. Then he looked at me most seriously. "Is that what you really want?"

"Sure," I said confidently. "Girls like sex too, you know."

"Ok." Billy chuckled. " If that's what you want."

"Yes," I nodded. "Is it what you want?"

"Well," Billy paused to toe the same concrete I had only a minute earlier. "Yeah. I want you." He leaned over and kissed me. I didn't even realize what he was doing until it was over and he was once again looking me in the eye. "You're exactly what I want."

I gulped, still feeling a bit cheated that I had all but missed my own first kiss. "Sex then?" I laughed at my Freudian slip. "I mean six?"

"Sure," Billy grinned. "Sex at six."

I reached for my door handle. "Thanks for a great evening." 

Billy put his hand on the frame of the screen, delaying my departure. "Thank you," he insisted, lowering his face towards mine. 

This time I was ready. When Billy gently grasped my lips between his own, I responded in kind. He pulled his hand from the frame as I removed mine from the knob. We caressed one another, with lips, hands, and everything in between. So long did we remain locked that I even had time to wonder if he could taste some lingering remnant of himself within my mouth. If he did, he certainly did not seem to mind.

My mother was reading a book on the couch when I entered our living room. In hindsight, my first date was an important occasion for her as well, but at the time I didn't understand that. 

"How'd it go?" she asked.

I tilted my head toward my shoulder and shrugged. "Ok."

"Good." Mom looked at the floor, back to me and then nodded. "I'm glad you had a good time."

"Me too," I replied. "Thanks." With that I headed downstairs. I have often lamented that I didn't sit down with her and share every sordid detail; but I was, after all, just a teenager.

* * *

Saturday came and went so slowly that I wondered what I ever did before Billy. Watch too much television, I suspect. When Sunday afternoon rolled around, I watched the Steelers beat the Dolphins, just in case he asked about the game.

Billy had other things on his mind than football come Sunday evening, greeting me with a kiss instead of a question. I grabbed his hand and started to lead him to my den. 

"Is that your dad?" Billy asked, nodding towards a portrait as I turned.

"Yes," I acknowledged. I'd always thought that portrait of my father in his white sailor's uniform was among the goofiest. I had always imagined my dad as the Skipper, but to me this shot made him look like Gilligan.

If Billy shared my condescending opinion, he did not disclose it. "He looks happy. Does he like the navy?"

"I think he did then," I replied. "That was before he met mom."

Billy creased his brow. "I should think he'd have been happier after he met her."

"He was," I chuckled. "But not with the navy. We don't see him that much. He's often said, if he had it all to do again, he'd have joined the army instead."

Billy nodded as he stroked his chin. "So you don't travel to where he is?"

"He's on a ship." I tilted my head. "One that's under the water. Kind of hard to travel there."

Billy shook his head. "No; the ship has a dock, right?"

"Yes," I said. "The submarine has a port. We used to move when I was younger, but since his port changed with each new ship it meant we never lived in one place long; and he was rarely in port anyway. Of course, I don't remember that much from back then. When I started school, my mom insisted we find a place to stay. Since then he's been making the trip from whatever port he's at to here. It's a lot better that way."

Billy nodded. "You've got a cool family."

"I have a cool boyfriend too," I whispered. "But I'm hoping to warm him up some."

We all but fell down the stairs in one another's arms.

After what seemed like an appropriate amount of kissing and fondling, I reached down to unzip Billy's jeans. Releasing his lips from mine, I started to sink to my knees.

Billy stopped my progress, catching me with both hands beneath my armpits. "I'm in the mood for something else tonight, if that's ok?" 

He pulled me once again upright, working his hands down to my hips and then under my T-shirt. Slowly, he began to raise the garment. At once I felt completely vulnerable; Billy hadn't seen me truly naked yet. I noticed I was breathing hard, and tried to calm down as I raised my arms to assist with my own disrobing.

When my blouse cleared my arms, I seized the opportunity and did the same with Billy's shirt, although he had to finish the job since I couldn't quite reach high enough. I started to unfasten his belt, but Billy stopped me again. Placing one hand on either side of my waist, he half-rolled, half-tossed me onto my couch.

I found myself breathing hard again as Billy knelt beside me and began to caress my lower abdomen. I sucked in my gut as much as I dared, thankful when he soon moved his hands to my bosom.

After gently caressing my breasts through my bra, Billy gently pulled the garment down and moved his mouth toward my areola, his eyes locked on mine as he did so. I puffed my chest out to shorten the journey.

Billy's lips found my flesh and I released my long-contained breath in a single extended sigh. Starting with a delicate nibble, he proceeded to tenderly woo my body with lips and tongue. I ran my fingers through his hair, enjoying the moment, but soon I wanted more. Billy's suckling was pleasant, but I knew this was only the opening act and I was ready for the main event. 

Billy either sensed my desires, or shared them. His hand moved slowly across my midsection, slipping its way under my jeans and into my panties. His lips never left my breast as he first rubbed subtle circles in my puffy and furred muff before moving down to stroke my already moist crease. He massaged me only long enough to part my lips and find my entry before sliding a welcome digit within me.

I dearly wanted something more than a finger inside me. Then I had a troubling thought. After fretting for a few seconds I decided confessing sooner was better than later. "I, uh, don't have any contraceptives."

Billy sat upright and looked at me funny. "What?"

"Birth control."

His eyes widened. "You aren't on the pill?"

"I, uh, ran out."

"Oh." Billy's eyes wandered for a while before returning to me. "I can always pull out."

I wasn't sure that was a good idea, but I wasn't certain it was a bad idea either and I really wanted to fuck. "Ok," I agreed.

Billy stood and started to remove his jeans. I sat upright and did the same, pausing a single insecure moment before shedding my panties. I rose wearing only my dislocated bra, and Billy soon took care of that. Holding both of his hands low within my own, I led him backward into my bedroom where we fell onto the mattress as one. 

Foreplay was over; I rolled to my back with Billy aboard. Pinning his erect shaft between our two bodies, he moved rhythmically, teasing me with his cock, running the tip up and down my crease in the same manner that he had just done with his finger. 

Each trip down, his crown ever so subtly probed my entry before slipping out to move north and massage my clit. Each time I held my breath, silently begging that this trip would be the last; until, finally, his crown found a home, wiggling into my wanting passage.




Something to Offer Ch. 01



I had a brief moment of anxiety, unsure how he would feel with me; then my already warm inside was warmed further by his firm and massive member. I felt so full, so wonderful; so alive.

"Yes," I gasped, as all thoughts of anything besides physical fulfillment flew from my head. Billy steadily increased his tempo, pounding my pussy to the next level with each stroke. Somewhere within me an ember that had begun to smolder when Billy's lips were on my breast broke into full flame. The inexorable sensation overwhelmed me; my body convulsed, somehow exploding and contracting at the same time.

My eyes and mouth flew open at once. I wasn't sure what had happened, but I was sure I liked it.

"You are so hot," whispered Billy, bringing his lips to my own.

Nothing beats a hot kiss during a hot fuck, and I immediately climaxed again. Billy picked up the force and pace. I knew his culmination could not be far away. I closed my eyes, intent of savoring the final moments, wondering what it would feel like when his cock exploded within me.

Suddenly Billy was gone. So involved had I become, I had forgotten the plan. I looked down just in time to see his first burst spring from his cock and sail over my head. My eyes instinctively followed the streaking white missile. I was still looking up when the next shot struck me squarely below the chin. I turned my attention back to his still-spasming cock to see his final spurts land first on my breasts and finally on my stomach.

Billy sat back on his haunches; panting so hard I thought he must surely collapse.

"Well." I smiled. "You made quite a mess."

"That was the plan," Billy managed between breaths.

I smiled. "That wasn't my plan."

"What?"

I sat upright, nuzzling my nose to his. "Pull out a bit sooner next time and you'll see." Not giving him a chance to reply, I concluded our alleged study session with a final lingering kiss.

* * * * *

Monday morning found me with Lynn and Denise, camped on our usual benches where we waited for the opening bell of school. In retrospect, we were as unlike physically as three girls could be. I was a brunette, medium height and at least a bit chubby. Denise was tall and gangly, with blazing red hair and more freckles than anyone could ever have counted. Lynn was the blonde, short, yet hardly petite, but with a face so divine I often found myself coveting it.

Naturally, the first thing we three discussed was what we did over the four-day break. When my turn came, I was unsure what to say about my amorous adventures, so I avoided the subject, focusing on family instead. 

"Dad's not back for another month," I began, "So mom and I just had turkey sandwiches. Seemed silly to make a big meal for just the two of us. We had a good enough time though."

"You didn't do anything else all weekend?" asked Denise.

At the time I found her question haughty, but I think the truth was I was looking for any excuse to brag. "Well, I saw Private Benjamin," I said, before adding, "and fucked Billy Drake."

Lynn laughed. "Oh fucked Billy, did you?"

"Sure," I said matter-of-factly. 

"Yeah," teased Lynn, "In your dreams."

"In my dreams too," added Denise. "Right before Cindy Pierce scratches my eyes out."

We all had a decent chuckle and the conversation drifted to more mundane topics, the same stuff we'd always talked about, except now it all seemed so terribly dull.

By the time lunch rolled around, I had yet to see Billy and I was feeling a tad low. I went to eat with Denise and Lynn at our usual spot and chat about more of the usual stuff, which was no more interesting at noon than it had been in the morning. Almost immediately I found myself daydreaming, wondering if I needed to put myself back in the loved-and-lost class.

Lynn snapped me out of my daze. "Wendy?" 

I refocused on my friend. "What?"

"I just asked how Private Benjamin was," Denise said. "Or did you make up that too?"

"It was ok," I replied.

"Are you feelin' ok?" asked Lynn. "You hardly touched your food."

"I guess I'm just a bit tired," I offered. "Maybe I just stayed up too late." I looked across our table at the pair of them, expecting some sort of reply. Instead I noticed them both stare up and behind me, mouths agape. I reversed my own head to seek the source of their fascination. When I did, I think my heart must have leapt out of my chest and danced on the table before returning to its proper place. He had sought me out after all!

"Hi, Wendy."

"Hi, Billy," I replied. I wasn't sure whether I should sit, stand, or jump onto the table and yodel at the top of my lungs. I decided on the former, mostly because it involved essentially doing nothing.

"I was thinking we could eat lunch together," Billy suggested. "If you want to. And your friends don't mind."

I didn't think they would mind, though I felt a bit guilty about not really giving a shit if they minded or not. "Sure," I said, standing. I looked back to Lynn and Denise. "If you don't mind."

Both just shook her heads, their agape expressions having rendered their mouths useless.

I grabbed my lunch and my pop can. "Where to?"

Billy nodded to the unoccupied end of one table across the cafeteria. "Over there?"

"Sure."

I led the way, not looking at anything other than my destination, but imagining everyone must be looking at me. I'm sure I must have glided across that cafeteria, a good six inches off the floor. Only years later would I fully realize why having lunch with Billy in front of everyone made me so much happier than anything we'd ever done in private. And I was happy; life had gotten better again.

When we were finished eating, it got better still. As we walked from the table Billy slowly reached down with his hand to find mine; and this time when I gently squeezed back he didn't let go. 

In between classes, Billy started meeting me at the door and walking me to the next one. At day's end, we shared our first truly public kiss. 

"I don't want to wait until Wednesday to see you again," Billy whispered as our lips parted.

"You don't have to," I whispered back.

"When?"

"Now?" I suggested

Billy didn't reply other than to head for the parking lot. Within half an hour we were in the cozy confines of my bedroom, in one another's arms.

"I want to try doggy-style," I announced after what I thought was an acceptable amount of foreplay.

"Ok," Billy grunted with a smile.

The sensation of being fucked from behind was decidedly different. Each stroke somehow seemed to venture deeper, massaging yet another portion of my womanhood that yearned to be touched. Yet, somehow it was all just a big tease; taking me to the edge and just leaving me there. Not that I really had much of a chance. 

Just when I was wanting more, he was gone. Again, his withdrawal had caught me by surprise. I spun around as quickly as I could, expecting to see Billy's cock pumping semen all over my bed.

There was no mess however. Billy had followed my instructions precisely. His cock sat before me, bobbing slightly in an almost beckoning fashion. I could see the shimmering of my own moistness upon his shaft. Though I had sniffed my fingers on many occasions after a good frigging and had always enjoyed the scent, I was still a touch reticent at the prospect of engulfing an entire mouthful of my own juices. 

My eyes bounced to Billy's face. He panted through his just parted lips, his muscled chest throbbing in time with his breaths. His eyes were wide, almost begging. I gulped. You told him you were going to surprise him, I reminded myself. You can't let him down!

Shifting my focus back to his cock, I crawled forward and threw my lips over his massive member. My eyes widened as the acrid tang of my own arousal saturated my taste buds. I found the musky flavor of pussy to be similar to its aroma, only better! Unlike the acquired taste of masculine ejaculate, this was a flavor I relished at once, which only added to my excitement. I began sucking him with a furor. 

The reward for my efforts came within seconds as Billy's flavor first joined, then obliterated my own. The shock of my first blowjob a pleasant memory, I kept sucking, ingesting as I went, until his spent and shrinking cock had nothing left to offer.

"You are so hot," gasped Billy.

He'd said it before, a lot; but I never tired of hearing it. I bounced my eyebrows and flashed a smile. "So you liked that?"

"That was unbelievable. You're unbelievable!" Billy chortled. "How could I not like that!"

"Good," I whispered. "Let's do it again tomorrow."

We did just that. And every night afterward until a scattering of telltale red spots in my panties signaled the beginning of my unwelcome cycle. Not that Billy minded much, since he still got a blowjob. I guess I didn't mind either. I had come to covet the feel of hard throbbing cock within my mouth.

On Sunday Billy dropped by later than usual. I didn't really think much of him being late, but I should have. As soon as my tongue touched his dick I tasted it; or more appropriately tasted her. The flavor was subtle to be sure; he must have washed. Still, I recognized it easily, so similar it was to my own. Her taste wasn't bad; I suppose I could even have enjoyed it if not for the realization that came with it.

My eyes glazed as I pictured them together, her naked body accepting the cock I had come to think of as my own. Cindy was so beautiful; I could hardly blame him for going back to her. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't do anything. Except finish what I had started, of course.

Later as I finally drifted off to sleep with tired, red eyes, I still didn't know what I should do. Part of me wanted to dump him. Part of me wanted to fight to keep him. Part of me hoped he might think enough of my cocksucking skills to keep me on the side. Lying there lonely in my bed, being number two did seem highly preferable to being number zero.

* * *

Dawn brought a new day and a fresh burst of confidence. I categorically concluded that I would not be cleaning another girl's scent off of my boyfriend's cock. Billy avoided me during the morning, removing any doubts I had regarding my course of action. At lunch, I marched straight to where he ate, surrounded by a few of his jock friends.

I came right to the point. "Are you and Cindy back together?"

"I, uh..." Billy's eyes wandered everywhere but upon me.

"I thought so," I interrupted. "I knew I tasted someone on your dick last night. I figured it was her."

Billy could but stare for some time. "I'm sorry..." he eventually started.

"Don't be," I cut him off. "Hey, it's not like we were engaged. I had fun. Hope you did too. You and Cindy have a lot of history. I hope you find a way to stay together this time." 

I did not wait for a reply. As I turned and walked away the realization that my first real relationship had ended sought to overwhelm me. I tried not to weep. Sure Billy and I weren't engaged, but I had thought we might be a serious couple for more than a fortnight. 

As the afternoon wore on, I came to imagine what a perfect maneuver I had performed; I had dumped Billy publicly, without overly embarrassing either of us, and had advertised both my availability and my qualifications. Still, boarding the bus for the long ride home that afternoon was one of the most melancholy experiences of my life. In that instant I felt myself sinking into my dumpy little loser persona, resigned that no boy would ever want me on his arm again.

I could not have been more wrong. I knew boys talked, but I never knew how much. I had so many hopefuls ask me out over the next few days that by Thursday I was giddily excited to discuss my prospects with my friends.

"They're all jocks," noted Denise with a wry smirk.

"So?"

"So, you know all they want is sex, don't you?" asked Denise.

"Sure," I smiled. "What do you think I want them for?"

"I don't know," Lynn observed. "It just seems so, well, sleazy, to go out and have sex with some guy, well, just to do it."

"Yeah," added Denise. "It's like you're turning into, well, a slut."

"A slut?" I stammered. "You said you dreamed about doing it with Billy too!"

"That was a joke. And even if I did dream it, not like I would want to do it."

"What?" I tried to suppress my ire. "It's ok for the boys to like it, but not for us? That's the kind of crap our mothers had to put up with, and their mothers before them. That's what equal rights and sexual liberation are all about. I'm glad I can enjoy sex and not feel guilty about it."

"Does your mother even know?" asked Lynn.

Her question caught me totally flat-footed. If I wasn't feeling guilty, wasn't doing anything wrong, then why hadn't I told my mother? I'm sure my pause and my expression had already provided the answer long before my lips did. "No," I admitted. "I guess I'm still not sure she'll understand."

"I'm not sure I understand either," said Denise

"Are you still going to be our friend?" asked Lynn in the solemnest of tones.

"Sure," I replied, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well," Lynn glanced at her food before returning her gaze to me. "You used to go to movies with us."

I took some time trying to absorb the situation from their perspective. I had more or less abandoned both of my friends during my liaison with Billy. Although I'm sure it's a blessing in disguise, empathy can sure take the wind out of one's sails. I spent the remainder of the afternoon weighing my responsibilities against my desires and my options.

By the time I got home, I hadn't reached any decisions regarding my friends, but I had made another, more important resolution. Without giving myself the opportunity for cowardice, I sought my mother, finding her reading in her bed.

"Hi mom," I said, parking myself on the edge of the mattress. 

"Hi," my mother replied, throwing a glance my way. "What's up?"

"I, uh, broke up with Billy."

"What?" she asked, this time without looking away from her book. "You two aren't study pals anymore?"

There was some tinge of sarcasm in her voice. Or maybe I just knew even my mom couldn't be that naive. "We haven't been studying. But you knew that, didn't you?"

"Well, if you had been just studying," Mom nodded, "I'd have been shocked. "Was Billy your first?"

"Yes," I replied, before even realizing that wasn't completely factual. Then I realized it was true enough. The first boy to touch my heart was more deserving of the title than the first boy to touch me elsewhere. Billy was my first love. The other twerp was just a footnote, at best.

"Are you ok?" Mom asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I'm fine. He's a nice guy and has a lot to offer the right girl. I'm just not the right girl. For him anyway."

Mom looked rather puzzled. "You don't miss him then?"

"A little," I began with a sigh. "But you know how they say most men think with their dick?"

Mom nodded, with an anxious, yet curious expression.

"Well, Billy should," I said. "Because it'd raise his IQ at least twenty points." 

We both had a chuckle at poor Billy's expense and I got up thinking a good laugh was a fine note upon which to end.

"Wendy," Mom prompted in a tone that stopped me in my tracks. "What are you using to keep from getting pregnant?"

"Well," I turned. "Billy was, uh, pulling out."

Mom looked over her reading glasses. "Do you know what they call people who practice that method of birth control?"

I shook my head innocently. "No."

"Parents."

We both smiled in unison a few seconds later when I finally got the jest. But I also knew it wasn't completely a joke. I returned to Mom's bed, this time sitting beside her.

"What should I do instead?" I asked.

"I take it you intend to," Mom paused for a breath, "to remain active?"

"Yes," I nodded softly. "Unless you think I shouldn't"

"Would it matter?" Mom asked. "If I thought it was wrong?"

I rubbed my nose as I considered the issue. "Yes. It would matter."

"Would it change your mind?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "What do you think?"

"I'm not completely sure what I think," she said. "But regardless of my opinion, I won't tell you to stop. You're old enough to make up your mind."

"What about Dad?"

"Well, you are his little angel," said Mom. "And no father ever thinks any boy is good enough for his daughter. But give him a chance. He may surprise you."

I nodded. "Should I tell him then?"

"I think I probably should," she replied. "But give me few weeks to turn that one over in my head. We've a more pressing issue, remember?"

"What?"

"Do you have a new boyfriend yet?"

"No," I replied, wondering if she intended to set me up with someone.

"Ok then," Mom began. "Let me make an appointment for you and let's see what we can do about contraceptives. It'll probably be a few weeks before I can get you in to see the doctor."

Well, I guess that was sort of setting me up with someone, but old Doc Peterson wasn't exactly what I had in mind. "Won't he just tell me, well, that I shouldn't be having sex or something?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," Mom answered dryly. "Doctors are people too. I'm sure she'll understand."

When her meaning finally became apparent, I had to blink back a tear. I moved to hug her. "Thanks, Mom."

"No, my little angel," Mom said as we embraced. "Thank you." 



Something to Offer Ch. 02



© 2004 by Penelope Street

Part 2: My True Love

"I told my mom," I announced with pride the next morning.

Denise and Lynn looked at me dumbfounded for several seconds. Lynn finally spoke first.  "What'd she say?"

I shrugged. "Not much. She was more concerned about pregnancy than anything else. She's making an appointment so I can get on the pill."

Denise's jaw fell. 

Lynn, however, smiled. "Aren't you glad you told her?"

"Yes," I replied, almost as an admission.

"It still seems wrong," Denise noted.

"What?" I asked.

"Having sex with someone besides your husband."

"I don't have a husband," I retorted.

"Exactly," Denise countered.

I dropped my brow and shook my head. "What is the big deal?"

Denise sighed. "It just seems so; I don't know; personal."

I smirked. "That's part of what makes it special."

"How can it be special," Denise responded. "If you do it with just anyone?"

I was stunned by what I considered to be an entirely baseless allegation.  "I will not just do it with anyone," I asserted in the harshest whisper I could muster.

Denise steered her narrowed green eyes straight into my soul. "Sure seems like it."

"What is the big deal with you and sex?" I asked. "It's a natural thing, yet you act like it's something evil." 

The question seemed to stun her for second. The next second her face melted. "It's just," Denise began with a sniff. "I tell myself I'm waiting for marriage, but who'll want to marry me anyway? Heck, no boy has ever even tried to hold my hand. I'm just a boobless beanpole!"

A tear rolled down the redhead's cheek. I started to protest, but my agitated friend continued her rant. "You may be captain of the math team Wendy, but I can do a little arithmetic too. Fifty-three percent of the population is female. If every male marries one of us, that's still more than one out of ten of us girls that gets left out. One out of ten! And I'm going to be one! I just know it."

"That's why," Lynn began with a big smile, "we should encourage lesbianism. It puts the numbers back in our favor!"

I cut Lynn a sharp glare for what I took to be a most ill-timed jest, before I directed my attention back to Denise. "You're not going to be left out."

The redhead pursed her lips before snapping, "How do you know?"

"Just a few weeks ago I thought the same thing. I figured no boy would ever want anyone as fat as me. But then..."

"You're not fat!"

I turned to see Lynn's smile had vanished; her lips were barely parted over her clenched teeth.  I looked down at my pear-shaped form. "Are you sure?"

Lynn's eyes narrowed as her nose wrinkled. "I'm sure!"

"Yeah," Denise chipped in. "You're not fat."

I crossed my arms and rubbed my elbows as my eyes wandered betwixt my two friends.  "Thanks." 

Lynn smiled, and then opened her mouth to say something, but the bell for class cut her off.  "We should talk again at lunch," she noted as the clanging subsided.

"We always do," I said.

Lynn put her hands to her hips. "You know what I mean."

Denise sighed. "Why?"

"Because we should," Lynn insisted. "That's why."

We did talk at lunch, and then some of the next day too. Lynn and I managed to convince Denise that she was more than pretty enough to attract any boy worth having. She still insisted she was saving herself for Mr. Right, but she no longer seemed concerned about me fucking as many Mr. Wrongs as I wanted. Soon the three of us giddily discussed what boys we liked as casually as if we were picking out a sweater.  

Before long, Christmas came; and with it my father. Being unsure what Mom had told him, I was timid around the man at first. I suppose I'm still not sure what exactly she told him. I never talked about sex with Dad and he never asked.

If my father was disappointed with me, he never showed it.  He seemed his jovial self; Mom and I were both thrilled to have him home for the holidays. I don't recall much of what we did over the break. Probably just sat around together and watched the tube. With my dad there, I suspect that meant a lot of football. 

For the local teams, there was mixed success on the gridiron. The Steelers lost their final contest and missed the playoffs, but Pitt and Penn State both won their bowl games with the Panthers finishing number two in the polls. 

On a more personal note, Billy Drake failed his mathematics course and was ineligible for sports during the spring.  I felt like I had let him down, although, in hindsight, I'm not sure I could ever have taught him as much as he needed to learn.  Cindy Pierce stuck with him though, even though he was no longer a real jock, confirming that she truly loved him for who he was and not what he was. 

The New Year started as most do, with high hopes. Mine centered around a boy named Joel Dirks. I'd carefully selected him because he seemed pleasant enough, was in the choir instead of sports, didn't appear to have a girlfriend, and was in at least one of my classes. That he was cute didn't hurt either. 

After several days of stalking, I managed to find a moment alone with my intended quarry. "So," I began as casually as I could. "You have a girlfriend?"

Joel shook his head.

I smiled. "You want one?"

The lad creased his brow. "You?"

I nodded. "Yes."

Joel shook his head twice. "Sorry," he replied in a flat tone. "I just couldn't think of you in that way."

I pressed my lips into a thin white line as I absorbed the unexpected rejection. All of my old insecurities broke out of lockdown and began to riot. "Ok," I managed with a nod. "Thanks anyway, I guess."

"No problem," Joel shrugged. "See ya 'round."

I stood in the corridor and watched him walk away. After having what seemed like the entire football team wanting to be my boyfriend I was stunned that someone didn't want me. I absently scratched my brow as I considered how I could tell my two friends after bragging most of the previous week about my selection.  

* * *

"Did you really expect every boy to want to go out with you?" Denise asked with a self-satisfied smirk.

I tried to take my medicine like a big girl. "Yes," I nodded. "I suppose I did."

"You need to ask someone you're already friends with," Lynn suggested. "At least a little. You hardly knew Joel."

"Yeah," Denise added. "What did you see in him anyway?"

I had asked myself the same question most of the morning. "I don't know," I admitted. "Do you ever wonder if we really control who we're attracted to or if it just sort of happens?"

"Yeah," Lynn nodded, her blue eyes bright. "I wonder that a lot."

"Me too," Denise added.

"Who are you attracted to?" I asked, to neither of them in particular.

The two girls looked to one another as if each wanted the other to answer.

Denise finally shrugged. "Mark Blum."

Lynn creased her brow. "That little geek from the science club?"

Denise nodded.

"So why don't you tell him?" I asked.

Denise sighed and pursed her lips. "I'd just feel embarrassed."

"Why?" I countered quickly.

"Aren't the guys supposed to do the asking?"

"Why?" I repeated. 

"I don't know," Denise replied. "It just seems that's the way it's done."

"That's the way it was done," I insisted. "I'm not going to sit around and wait for some boy to come to me either. Remember who came?  All the jocks, that's who. Why should they have all the fun?"

"I'd be embarrassed too," Lynn admitted.

"You?" I queried. "I know guys ask you out; cute ones too. Why don't you ever give one a chance?"

"Oh, I have someone in mind," Lynn replied.  "But the timing's not right. I can feel it."

I shook my head. "Now is always the right time to ask."

Lynn responded with a similar shake of her head. "Not this person. When you see who it is, you'll understand."

Denise tilted her head.  "Now I am curious."

"Me too," I agreed.

Lynn smiled. "Too bad. For now you'll just have to trust that I'd rather spend my senior year with you two than with some guy I wouldn't give a shit about in five years anyway."

"Fine," I shrugged. "Have it your way." I turned to Denise. "That still doesn't explain why you don't tell Mark how you feel."

Denise twisted her lips for a few seconds before replying, "I'd be too afraid he'd just laugh."

"Not me," I insisted. "I'm not going to play turtle just because one fool doesn't know a good thing when it asks him out."

* * *

In spite of my oath and my intention, I found myself unwilling to make the move. I made a list of candidates and discussed them amongst my friends. The specter of rejection, however, kept my resolve suppressed.

Thus it was nearly a month later before I again dated and it was my next boyfriend who did the asking, at our lunch table no less.  The first hint I had of his arrival was the stares from my comrades seated across from me.  They had had that same look when Billy Drake had shown up. I turned, half-expecting to see him again, unsure what I would do if I did. As my view passed beyond my shoulder, instead of Billy, I saw glasses, freckles, braces, and Mark Blum.  

"Wendy?" Mark prompted in a trembling voice.

"Yes?"

Mark's eyes wandered as he swallowed.  "I was wondering if maybe you'd go to a movie with me."

My mouth dropped slightly. I inhaled as if to reply, but was flabbergasted.  "I, uh…" I began, then stopped.  I snapped my focus to Denise, intending to let her know I had in no way gone after her beau. 

To my surprise, the redhead was all smiles. "Sure she would!" she announced before turning to me. "Wouldn't you?"

I looked back to Mark and smiled. "I, uh, guess so."

Mark flashed his full set of braces. "Great!" Eyes wide, he turned and strode away, moving more like a zombie than a boy.

I snapped my head back to Denise. "What do you mean saying 'yes' for me?"

For the first time I could recall, my friend was excited to the point of giddiness. "Oh, you just have to," she squealed.

I leaned across the table and asked in a hushed tone, "Why do you want me to go out with the boy you like?"

Denise moved her face closer to mine. "As long as he's seeing you, I know he's not seeing anyone else. Then, when you dump him, maybe I can pick him up on the rebound!"

I dropped my brow and my jaw. "That's just weird, Denise. What exactly do you want me to do?"

Denise sat upright and shrugged. "I hadn't thought that far. Just date him for a little while until he's good and hung up on you, and then break up with him."

I looked back over my shoulder in the direction Mark had departed. "What does he see in me?" I wondered aloud.

"You're smart," Denise offered without hesitation. 

Lynn flashed a wicked smile. "Maybe he's heard you're easy."

My jaw fell. "I'm not easy!"

Lynn's smile broadened. "I didn't say you were. I just said he might have heard you were."

Considering the blonde's meaning, I brought my lips together as if to speak, but I could find no words. With reluctance, I admitted my liaison with Billy might have given me a somewhat seedy reputation, one I had even cultivated. I looked back to Denise. "What if he does think I'm easy? What if he wants to do it?"

Denise put her hands below the table and leaned still closer to me. "Go for it!  Break him in for me!  But you have to tell me all about it!"

I shook my head. "I don't know if..."

"Please," Denise begged. "Do it for me. I'd do it for you!"

I raised my eyebrows. "You'd fuck a guy for me?"

Denise withdrew her face. Her smiled vanished. "I don't know," she admitted. "But it's not like you haven't done it before."

I felt myself tense, but realized in the next moment that in her giddy state, she had meant no affront. "Aren't you the one that thought sex outside of marriage was bad?" I inquired.

"This is different," Denise protested. "It's Mark!"

I had never seen my friend so excited about anything. "Are you sure?" I asked.

Denise smiled again. "I'm very sure!"

"You better be," Lynn said. "Because here he comes."

I turned to see Mark sheepishly returning to our table. "I forgot to ask what day," he said. "I was thinking Valentine's Day, if that's ok."

I smiled. "What day is that?"

"Saturday after next."

"Do I get to pick the movie?"

"Sure."

"It's a date," I concluded. "You want to pick me up at six?"

Mark's eyes wandered again. "My mom will have to give us a ride. I don't have a license yet."

"Oh," I said. "I do. Maybe my mom will let me use her car."

"That'd be great!"

"I'll ask tonight," I declared. "And let you know tomorrow."

Mark nodded. "Great."

I smiled for a few seconds, expecting him to depart. "See you then?" I prompted, brows high.

"Right," he started. "Great. See you then."

I turned back to my friends as my new boyfriend ambled away.  He looked so scrawny compared to Billy. I realized the true reason I didn't want to date him was because of his appearance; the very reason, I am sure, that many guys discounted me. In that moment, I felt shallower than I had before, or have since.

The days leading up to our movie date were among the most awkward. I felt very much like a common harlot, hired by my friend to seduce her beau and then, somehow, find a way to pass him off to her. But I knew what rejection felt like. I wasn't sure I could hurt Mark, even for Denise. My stomach was far from settled when my date climbed into the passenger seat of our family wagon. 

"Hi!" Mark said, flashing his full set of braces. "What are we seeing?"

"Well," I replied, reaching for the ubiquitous column shifter. "I think it's either The Incredible Shrinking Woman or Flash Gordon." 

"It's your pick," Mark reminded.

My initial inclination was to make him see the former, so that he'd never want to go out with me again. "I really don't care," I admitted.  "Did you have a preference?"

"How about My Bloody Valentine?" Mark suggested.

"What's that?"

"Horror film."

"Ok," I replied, being completely naive regarding the entire slasher genre. I cannot recall any other pair of syllables that I have ever uttered that I came so soon to regret. My hands spent most of the next two hours in front of my eyes.

On the way home, I determined to put my hands to much better use and took Mark to one of the parking spots I'd discovered with Billy.

"What, uh, what are we doing?" my date inquired as I steered into the dark and deserted lot.

I killed the ignition and slid across the seat. Bringing my mouth inches from his, I whispered. "What do you think?"

Mark tongued his lips. "I, uh, ..."

I terminated what was certain to be yet another naive inquiry with a kiss. As our mouths explored, our hands did likewise. Even as our lips intertwined, I managed a smile when my novice lover went to second base without invitation, albeit through my blouse. I returned the favor by moving my palm to his groin. I emitted a low snarl as I felt the hardness, and the damp spot, in his trousers.

"No," Mark gasped, breaking our kiss as my fingers found his zipper.

"No?" I queried, with a mischievous smile. I slid down his form as I continued to peel his jeans from his loins. "No what?" 

"No. I don't..." Mark started as I freed his erection.

His protest terminated as my lips first met, then enveloped, the end of his shaft.  He didn't issue another objection after I had him in my mouth; he was mine for the night. As fast as he unloaded in the front seat, I knew he'd be ready for round two in the back.  Round three was an unexpected bonus.

An hour later we cuddled in the folded-down cargo area of the wagon, in what I imagined to be the afterglow of a magnificent fuck. I closed my eyes and relived the magic of the first cock exploding within me and how my pussy seemed to clench in sync with every spasm of my lover's pulsing shaft. For a handful of minutes, I bathed myself in that naive bliss. The first clue I had that my partner was feeling something entirely different was a single sniffle.

My eyes bolted wide, wandering for several seconds before I dared prop myself up on one elbow. "Are you ok?"

"No," Mark whimpered before he burst into tears. The eruption of the boy's sorrow was no minor weeping; he turned on the full waterworks in addition to gasping and sobbing.

I reached to pull his head to my shoulder, unsure what to say, much less what was the source of his distress. "What is it?" I finally managed.

"I wanted my first time to be special," the boy gasped between sobs.

My chest felt hollow in an instant; the lad's now crushed hope had pummeled my core as a one-two punch with Denise's similar wish.  The third blow landed but an instant later as I grasped the implication that the back of a station-wagon in the parking lot of an idle factory with an unworthy seductress was far from special in his eyes. Examining our forlorn surroundings amid his continued wailing, I could but agree.

"I'm sorry," I offered. "I didn't know."

"I said 'no,'" Mark recalled between sobs. "But you didn't listen."

You should have said it twice. I started to defend myself thus, but realized he had said it a second time before I had appealed the decision to what in teenage males is always the highest authority.

In my headlong rush to deflower the innocent youth I had never imagined he might not want a girl. Oh, I imagined he might not want me, and had set out to prove otherwise; but it never crossed my mind he didn't want any girl; at least not yet.  My spurious attempt to confirm I was pretty on the outside had shown instead how ugly I could be on the inside.

"I'm sorry," I repeated for lack of anything better to offer.

"Oh," Mark moaned between sobs. "I so wanted to wear white to my wedding."

I never grasped until that moment how boys could be just as sentimental as girls, and just as traumatized, about surrendering their virginity. My tears joined Mark's as I understood I'd done Denise's bidding after all; I'd broken him in and broken his heart, all in one night.

* * *

"So what'd you see?" Denise asked first thing Monday morning, her smile so wide I thought her braces would surely spring from her teeth.

"My Bloody Valentine," I said.

"What's that about?" Lynn asked.

"A Valentine's Day party in an abandoned mine," I related. "Then everyone acts like morons while some lunatic kills them all."

Lynn shook her head slowly. "Oh; one of those."

"Oh," Denise squealed, "I love those kind of movies."

I wrinkled my nose. "You do?"

"Yes!"

"Explains why you think sex is a bad idea," Lynn quipped.

Denise either missed or ignored the joke. "Did Mark like it?"

I nodded. "I think so." 

"What'd you do afterwards?" Lynn inquired with a sly grin.

"I went home."

"Really," Denise asked. "You didn't go to dinner?"

I snorted my contempt. "No! And I'm glad I didn't eat before either.  I still don't have my appetite back."

"So," Lynn started, her eyes mischievously large, "did you go home alone?"

"Yes," I asserted at once. "I took him home and drove straight home myself."

Denise bounced her brows. "Did you at least kiss him?" 

I pressed my lips together and exhaled a long breath through my wrinkled nose.  "He had popcorn stuck in his braces," I lied. "I just couldn't."

Lynn's features contorted from her forehead to her neck. "Yuck!"

"No kidding," I agreed.

"Hey!" Denise started. "I get stuff stuck in my braces all the time."

"Yeah," I grunted as a half-chuckle. "And I don't want to kiss you either."

"Very funny," Denise snapped. "When are you taking him out again?"

"Depends if he asks me out again," I said. "But I don't think he will."

Denise's jaw dropped a bit. "You can ask him!"

I bobbed my head ever so shallowly for several breaths. "What if I don't want to?"




Something to Offer Ch. 02



"What?" Denise replied. "Why wouldn't you want to?"

I ran my tongue beneath my upper lip as I contemplated how honest I ought to be. Not very, I quickly decided. "I just feel wrong about going out with someone you like better than I do."

Denise's face sagged. "Why?"

I turned to Lynn. "How would you feel if I dated some boy you liked?"

The blonde merely smiled. "I'd be happy to share a boy with you."

I smirked, feeling betrayed by what I took to me another jest. 

"Yeah," Denise added. "That's it. We're sharing, right?"

"What?" I stammered, brows down. "I don't think we're meant to share boys!"

"Hey," Lynn started. "You were the one that was all ready to buck every tradition as long as you got to buck Billy Drake too."

I shook my head and briefly dropped my gaze. "I'm sorry, but I can't just like Mark because you want me too, anymore than I could unlike Billy when you thought I should."

Lynn nodded slowly. "I know what you mean. What really stinks is when you like someone and you know they like you too, but you're just not sure how much or in what way."

Denise twitched her lips for some moments.  Her eyelids blinked frequently as the orbs behind them shifted.  Finally her gaze once again settled on me. "I'm sorry," she offered. "I guess I was a bit selfish." She brought her eyes back to mine.  "Will you at least tell him I like him?"

At last I thought the time was right play my trump card. I flashed a broad smile before announcing, "I already did."

Denise gaped for a handful of seconds before recovering. "You did?"

"Yep."

"When?"

I shrugged. "On the way home."

Denise's jaw dropped again. "How? What'd you say?"

"Well," I began. "When I took him home, but we talked a bit en route. I was thinking to try and kiss him, in spite of the popcorn, but I couldn't very well do it while I was driving, so I just asked him point blank if he wanted to fuck."

Denise shook her head in disbelief. "You just asked him that?"

"Sure," I replied. "Why not ask him? How else was I going to know?"

"What did he say?"

"He said, 'No.' So I pressed him a bit and then told him I expected my boyfriend to put out."

Denise's jaw fell yet again. "You didn't?" she gasped.

"Sure I did," I asserted. "You did say you wanted me to break him in for you; right?  And I would have, but he stuck by his guns, said he wasn't interested; then mumbled something lame about wearing white to his own wedding."

Denise flashed more of her braces than I think she ever had before, or since. "He said that!"

"Yep, he did," I affirmed with a shallow nod.  "So then I said, 'Well, I know just the girl for you.'" 

There was no way I could have grasped at the time I spoke it how that half-truth would spell the end of a very important chapter in my life, and the beginning of another.

Lynn and I didn't see much of Denise after that day. We both missed her, but were thrilled for her as well. She and Mark were engaged before the end of the following summer.  He went to some Ivy League college and is probably a millionaire by now. Last count they had five kids.  

I never told Denise the truth about what Mark and I did that Valentine's evening. I figured that was his secret to share if he wanted to. Since she and I are still on speaking terms, my hunch is he never did. 

I hope Mark has forgiven me, but I don't imagine I'll ever pardon myself. Sure, my logical side knows that, at least in the eyes of the law, we were both consenting adults; but my emotional side has long since convicted me of statutory rape; life sentence, no parole. To this day, when I see the first stylized cupids of February, my eyes moisten as my thoughts drift back to a kind young man who just wanted to see a movie, nothing more, on what should have been a sweet and innocent Saturday night.

Thus the most romantic of days has been forever spoiled for me. I can still smile on another holiday, however; every Thanksgiving when I recall Billy Drake and our special fortnight together. At least I know he wanted me and I was his girl, if only for a few weeks. 

Billy finished the semester and took Cindy to the prom, even though he didn't graduate with the rest of us. I doubt he ever did. Early that summer Billy married Cindy and then joined the army, the latter being easily the smartest move he ever made.  The two tempests got divorced a few years later, but as of our ten-year reunion they were once again married and all smiles.  

As for me, I never dated again in high school after that Valentine's Day. For a time, I considered going back to dating jocks; but I knew what they wanted. Six months before, I had thought I wanted it too, but suddenly something seemed missing. I knew I longed for more, but couldn't put my finger on what it was.

For carnal pleasure, I turned to my little collection of toys, the ones I had originally purchased as training devices. These I could use without commitment or guilt.  I fantasized about many partners, including Billy, and Joel; but another person kept recurring in my visions, one whose presence in my thoughts I found as exciting as I did disturbing. It would be another half-year before my dilemma was ultimately resolved; in both my conscience, and my heart.

* * * * *

Fortunately my quandary did not affect my grades in any way. I graduated third in my class. Both Pitt and Penn State accepted me for the autumn semester, but I managed to land a full scholarship to the latter. In spite of my allegiance to the local school, money talks and it talks loud; I began making plans to attend the rival institution. I was thus looking forward, rather than backward, when the phone rang one steamy August afternoon.

"Hey Wendy!" Mom called from upstairs.  "It's for you."

I picked up the receiver of my basement line, issuing a timid, "Hi."

"Hey. It's Lynn." 

"Lynn!" I squealed, realizing how long it had been since I heard her voice, and how wonderful it was to hear it again. "What's up?"

"Not much. How've you been?"

"Fine," I acknowledged with a nod no one could see.

"Haven't heard from you. I was just wondering if you were still alive."

"Sorry I haven't stayed in touch," I offered. "I've been so busy planning for college, you know."

"Yeah, I do. You're going to State, right?"

"Yes."

"Me too!" 

"Really?" I gasped.

"Yes!" Lynn cried. "Isn't that amazing."

"Yes," I agreed. "It is." The prospect of having one of my dearest friends close when I expect to be all alone seemed like a dream come true. "I didn't even think you were planning to go to college?"

"I wasn't," Lynn related. "But my dad talked me into it.  Have you found a place to stay?"

"I was thinking to live in one of the dorms."

"What do you think about sharing an apartment?" 

"I don't know," I said.  "Don't they cost more?"

"A bit, but not as much as you might think."

I twitched my lips as ideas tumbled through my head. "I'll need to ask my mom, and probably my dad too."

"But would you want to?" Lynn pressed.

"Yes," I declared after but a moment's thought.

"Then see what your mom says and call me back," Lynn insisted. "I know my dad will be much more comfortable if I'm living with someone I know."

"Ok," I agreed with a nod. "I'll call you right back."

"Ok," Lynn replied "I'll be waiting!"

"Bye."

"Bye."

I replaced the receiver and rushed upstairs. "Mom!"

"In the kitchen!"

I found my mother staring absently into the fridge. "What y' doing," I inquired politely.

"Wondering if I should have a snack or break down and make dinner."

"I'm not hungry," I responded. "If that matters."

"Ok, snack it is," she declared and started to drag out sandwich makings.

"Mom, I was wondering; what do you think of me sharing an apartment with Lynn?"

Mother opened the silverware drawer and grabbed a knife. "Which one is Lynn?"

"Lynn Radcliffe. She's the cute little blonde."

"The one that lives over in the heights?"

"Yes."

Mom tongued her cheek for a few moments. "Is she going to want an expensive apartment? 

"I don't know," I admitted. "She just called.  I don't even know how much apartments are. Why would you think she'd want an expensive one?"

"Because she lives in the heights. Her family must have some money."

"Oh," I said. "So, are apartments more expensive than dorms?"

Mom shrugged. "I expect they're about the same, but don't include meals.  Dorms are just more conducive to studying instead of partying.  It also means you'll probably need a car, and that's more expensive too; a lot more expensive." 

"I don't think we'll do much partying," I said. "Lynn is kind of shy. She's never even had a boyfriend."

Mom nodded slowly. "Well, since you don't seem to know very much and my hunch is neither does Lynn, how about I call her mom and talk about it?"

My knees shook as I tried to suppress my excitement. "Oh! Thanks, mom! You are the best!"

"I didn't say 'yes.'"

I flashed a wide smile as my head moved in a feverish bob. "I know, but if there's a way, I'm sure you'll figure it out."

* * *

I was right. Mom was the best and she did figure it out.  Labor Day found Lynn, myself, and both of our mothers unloading the household basics from a rental truck into a very modest apartment. 

Mom and I both got a bit teary eyed as the time came to say goodbye. I had been so busy making preparations and then executing them that I had not considered the magnitude of the impending parting.  

I am sure Mom felt the same way. "Goodbye, my little angel," she said, initiating a hug. "Take care."

I returned the embrace. "I will, Mom. You too."

Lynn exchanged farewells with her mother on the other side of the vehicle. Before we knew it, we were both watching the truck pull away. I tried not to cry. As I turned my face to my new roommate, I saw that her eyes were every bit as moist and red as I imagined my own to be.

"We should go see a movie," Lynn suggested with a sniff.

I nodded my agreement. "Which one?"

"I don't know. Let's just go see what's playing."

"Ok," I said.

We climbed into the little white car that Lynn's dad had bought for her. She started the engine and then looked to me. For a few moments we just stared at one another, then we both laughed as we realized we had no clue where to go.

"I suppose we can just drive around until we find a theater," I suggested. "That way we'll get to see some of the area as well."

"Sounds like a plan," Lynn agreed.

Amid giddy small talk, we toured the college town, stumbling upon a theater within half an hour.  Eyes bright and all smiles, Lynn and I strode to the ticket window and perused the possibilities.

"How about American Werewolf in London?" my companion proposed, glancing at her watch. "At least it starts fairly soon."

I shifted my focus to the floor, kicking at the tiles before looking back to my friend. "I don't know. I'm not in the mood for any more movies like that one I saw with Mark Blum."

Lynn smiled. "C'mon. It'll be fun. If you get scared, I'll hold your hand."  

I nodded my agreement, although I cannot say my head bobbed with enthusiasm.  My companion was true to her word, grasping my palm with her own at the first hint of trouble and not releasing it until the lights came on after the credits had rolled.  When she did withdraw her hand, it was with reluctance that I released it.

"What'd you think?" she asked as we stood.

"I liked it," I admitted. "It was a bit gory, but it wasn't near as bad as that other movie. At least this one had a plot."

"I thought it was great. We should do it again soon," Lynn said. "In the mood for something food-like?  Tacos, maybe?"

"Sure," I agreed with a smile. "I'd like that."

* * *

My social life during the initial part of the semester was much the same. My course work proved more arduous than I had anticipated and occupied a great deal of my time. Lynn, on the other hand, did not seem to study near as much and cheerfully did most of the housework.  We fit in a movie every weekend. 

In the back of my mind, I had hoped to find college men more amiable than high school boys. If anything, I think it was the opposite. I kept waiting for one to ask me out, but none ever did.  Each passing day found me more insecure, especially since more guys than I could count expressed an interest in Lynn.

Initially, I kept my thoughts to myself, but as the leaves began to fall from the trees, my spirits seemed to drop with them.  My confidence reached its old, yet still familiar, low.  At last, I could contain my anguish no longer.

"Am I fat?" I asked abruptly one evening over dinner.

"No!" Lynn insisted, an octave above her usual tone. "Not even close!"

"Then why don't boys ask me out?"

She shrugged. "Who knows? Boys our age are a lot stupider than you think."

"But they ask you out?"

Lynn shrugged again. "Show's just how stupid they are."

I cocked my head. "What do you mean?"

"I guess I'm really picky," she related. "I know what I want and I'm not going to settle for anything less."

I nodded thoughtfully, though I had no clue what she meant. "So, none of them interest you?"

"Should they?"

"What about that someone special you mentioned. Is he here?"

Lynn appeared to consider the question for a few seconds before responding, "Not exactly."

"Ok, then," I replied. "What about that Roger fellow that gave you his number last week at the Dairy Queen?"

"The one that looks like a cowboy from an old western?"

"Yeah, that one."

"What about him?" Lynn queried.

"What was wrong with him?" 

"Nothing I suppose," Lynn answered. "But all we know about him is he's handsome."

"So?" I countered.

"Would you have gone out with him?"

"Probably."

"Why?"

"Why not?" I snapped. 

Lynn's features melted. Her posture faded in the same moment. "I have his number; if you want to call him?"

I shook my head. "He asked you out. I think it would be rude for me to call. I guess I just don't understand what it is you're looking for in a man.  Are you saving yourself for marriage like Denise?" 

Lynn offered a token smile.  "No. I doubt I'll ever get married, but I am still saving myself for that someone special just the same."

I shrugged and issued another absent nod. "Ok. I guess I better hit the ol' books."

The next few days were dour ones for me. Lynn made herself scarce. Feeling rebuffed in my efforts to share my feelings with my friend, I tried to focus on studying. Quickly, I found my anxieties overwhelmed my ability to maintain even token levels of concentration.

In retrospect, I knew she was keeping something from me and I was somewhat miffed at her. Perhaps she sensed this. Or perhaps she just wanted to make me happy.

"I set us up a date with Roger," Lynn announced over breakfast almost a week later. "You know, that cowboy guy you liked."

A spoonful of cereal paused halfway to my mouth. I creased my brow.  "Us?"

"Yes, us."

I shook my head slowly. "Why us?"

"Because you said you wanted to go out with him."

My spoon hit my bowl with a clink. "I didn't say that!"

Lynn grinned. "Yes, you did."

I bowed my head sheepishly. "Ok, maybe I implied it."

Lynn's smile broadened. "I told you once if I had a boyfriend, I'd share, didn't I?"

I found her mood contagious and flashed a shallow grin as I recalled her words. "Yeah, I guess you did. But I thought you were joking."

Lynn cocked her head. Her smile evaporated. "Joking?  Why would I joke about that?"

I shrugged. "Just doesn't seem like something friends normally do."

Lynn twisted her head even farther.  "You're not going to let what normal people do get in the way of what we want to do, are you?"

"I guess not."

Lynn's head popped upright as a smile returned to her face.  "Does that mean you'll go?"

"I don't know," I said. "That depends on what you have in mind?"

"I told him we'd probably just go to a movie."

"And he was ok with us both going?"

"I didn't ask," Lynn related. "I just said we'd like to take him to a movie and he said, 'ok.'"

"Are you sure you don't want to go with him by yourself?"

"I'm sure. I don't really want to go at all."

"Then why go?"

"Because you want to go, silly!"

So we went. Of all my dates ever, this was without doubt the most awkward. I felt like extraneous baggage sitting next to Roger with Lynn on the other side. Every few minutes, my eyes drifted to our date, and his eyes were always on the screen; or Lynn.

Chariots of Fire was not the film to stir me, or anyone else, from a laconic mood. Afterward, as we headed up the aisle, I resolved to never again consult my friend regarding men. It was one promise I managed to keep.

"That was kind of slow," Lynn noted.

"You're not a kidding," Roger agreed. "I could have run to England myself in how long that movie was."

I cringed as I wondered if he knew any more about geography than he did sentence structure.

Lynn paused as we reached the lobby. "You wanna come inside when we get back to our place? Maybe we could liven things up a bit."  She glanced at me with a wide smile.

I looked back with even wider eyes.

Roger shrugged. "Really?" 

Lynn's smile vanished as she looked to me. "I, uh," she stuttered, "need to go to the ladies room first." Without waiting for a reply, she grabbed my hand and led me down the corridor.

"What are you doing?" I whispered as soon as we were as isolated as I expected to get.

Lynn's brow was low, her gaze unsteady. "I thought you'd want to fuck him. Isn't that why you date boys?"

My mouth dropped open as I realized that I had said much to give her that impression.  "That's not the only reason!"

Lynn kinked her head to look at me sideways. "Really? Surely you don't just want to go to dinner and a movie? You can do that with me."

I dropped my eyelids and nodded. "Ok, I do like sex. But Denise was right, it's better with someone special."

"Alright then," Lynn concluded with a grin. "Let's go have some!"

For a second time, the little blonde led the way. I trailed in a stupor, wondering if she had somehow decided Roger was that someone special she was seeking and, if so, why was she insistent upon sharing him with me.

"Look," Roger began as we returned. "I don't know what's…"

"Do you like blowjobs?" Lynn interjected.

My eyes flew wide. My head pivoted to see who might be within earshot.  A pair of passing middle-aged ladies leered at us as if we were minions of Satan.  I jerked my focus back to our companion.

"Uh, yeah," Roger muttered, his eyes wandering under a furrowed brow. "I guess. Why?"

"Well, I've never given one," Lynn said. "But Wendy's very good, so she can show me; if you want to help me learn, that is?"

Roger scratched his head and shrugged. "Sure."

I have often laughed when I consider it took him almost three seconds to submit that rather obvious answer. The trip home was an ominously quiet one.  I experienced too many conflicting emotions to generate a single sentence. Roger must have been reluctant to say anything and possibly spoil the karma, after all how many guys ever get two girls at once?

As for Lynn, I wasn't sure she was really thinking at all; and if she was, I had no clue what. I didn't get a chance to ask her before we were on our knees in her bedroom, unwrapping the focus of our impromptu lesson.

My roommate's eyes were large as we freed Roger's already rampant shaft. In retrospect, maybe it is only fitting that someone who looks like a cowboy should be hung like a horse.  I suspect my eyes must have grown as well at the tantalizing sight.

I noticed Lynn begin to discard her sweater as I gawked, but the action didn't really register until I felt her hands upon my own blouse. 

"What are you doing?" I half-gasped.




Something to Offer Ch. 02



"Undressing you, silly!" Lynn popped her focus up to Roger. "You do want to fuck us too; don't you?"

"Sure," Roger replied, this time in far less than three seconds.

I shook my head. "I can't. I haven't been taking my pills."

"What?" Lynn queried.

I shrugged. "I let my prescription expire. It's been almost a year since Billy, you know."

Lynn tilted her head and looked at me with puppy eyes. "Fine, but I bet he'd still like to see both of us while we suck him."

With a sigh, I considered my roommate's sudden wantonness, but a single glimpse of her shining face was enough to chase all such questions to the corners of my mind.  She looked like she was having fun, and I resolved to try and do the same.  Lifting my arms, I allowed her to bare my torso before we each discarded our jeans.

Only after Lynn removed her own blouse did I get my first look at her form. My mouth fell as I revered with my eyes the loveliness of her soft and subtle complexion; her skin was as a shimmering sheet of satin. I felt like second-hand rubbish with my pudgy body so callously exposed near her elegant one.  She smiled as she saw my eyes upon her form.  Without warning, she brought her lips to mine.

Our brief exchange ended as abruptly as it had begun. I wasn't sure if the peck was a token gesture meant to boost my confidence, or something more. As if she read my thoughts, Lynn steered her wide blue orbs into my very soul as she whispered, "You're beautiful."

"So are you," I agreed in the same hallowed tone. "You're so pretty you make Cindy Pierce look ordinary."

Lynn's smile broadened as she cocked her head. "You think I'm prettier than Cindy Pierce?"

I locked my dull brown eyes on her bright blue ones. Only my mouth moved as I whispered, "I know you are."

The corners of Lynn's mouth jumped upward as a broad smile burst across her charming face.  I felt my own mouth mimic the expression as I glanced upward at Roger. I was not surprised to see his eyes as wide as our smiles.  "You ready?" I asked.

The man's expression did not change as his head moved in a shallow nod.

My anticipation building, I redirected my attention to my alleged pupil. "The key is to caress the head, especially underneath. Especially here." I grasped the cock before me and put my thumb to the tender underside of his crown.  Roger tensed at once. 

"You have to shield your upper teeth with your upper lip," I continued, opening my mouth in example. "You don't need to take much in either.  Taking a cock down your throat may be a temporary turn on, but keeping your lips and tongue where they can do the most good is a better idea in the long run."

I paused to sniff Roger's masculinity but once before I pressed my tongue against the end of his rod.  I heard him inhale a massive breath as I began to bathe the already engorged helm of his shaft with my broadly splayed appendage.

Several minutes of such teasing produced the first hints of seepage. "Licking the head is sort of like foreplay." I squeezed his cock slightly and a small bead emerged from the aperture.  "But when it starts leaking, you know it's time for the main event. You don't have to take much into your mouth, but you do have to suck." Sliding my tightly drawn lips over the crown and onto the shaft, I caressed his member in slow strokes, accepting more of his shaft into my mouth with each cycle.

"Oh, that's good," Roger moaned. His hips began to ever so subtly squirm. 

Pushing the tip of his helmet against my palette, I worked my tongue on the more sensitive underside. Soon I felt his succulent saline offering begin to deposit en masse upon my taste buds.  It felt strange to have a cock in my mouth again after so many months, yet I cannot say that I enjoyed it as much as I had during that special Thanksgiving almost a year before. I closed my eyes and found myself imagining it was Billy, hoping to recapture the magic of that time; but that time was gone. My first true love was now another girl's husband.

"Ok, let me try."

I opened my eyes to see Lynn's face adjacent to my own. I backed my mouth off of the shaft. Shifting to one side, I watched my companion as she attempted to emulate my technique.

I was surprised how clumsy she appeared, moving her mouth in uneven motions over the end of Roger's cock. Still she must have been doing something right, because the man's hips soon began to again move of their own accord.  I glanced up and saw his head fall backward. Suddenly I felt a tinge of envy.  For a moment I thought I knew why it all felt wrong; he wasn't really our boyfriend, Lynn was merely sharing hers.  

Roger's scrotum tightened. I knew the orbs therein were readying themselves.  I wondered if Lynn was ready as well. His hands found the top of her head, lying loosely among her locks as his pace quickened.

Lynn must have failed to account for the new rhythm, or she simply lost concentration. Regardless Roger soon began varying his motion amid sharp grunts. I could tell something was not quite right, but I did not understand what for several minutes.

"Teeth, teeth," he finally squeaked.

Lynn removed her mouth at once. ""I'm sorry. It's more work than I imagined. My mouth is already tired."

I followed Lynn's gaze upward and found Roger looking at me instead of her. I'm certain I must have beamed at least a little at his implicit vote of confidence. "That's ok," I said without breaking eye contact. "He's a real mouthful. I can give you a break if you want."

A smile broke upon the man's face.

"Thanks," Lynn gasped between pants, steering the man's cock towards my face. 

My tongue grazed my lips once before I gladly accepted it.  I kept my gaze locked upon his, even though his eyes closed just after the warm moistness of my mouth enveloped his shaft for a second time. Soon the man's hands rested lightly on my head and his hips were in motion for a third and final time.

My already open eyes flew wider as I felt another warm moistness envelope a sensitive area of my own body. Even before I looked, I knew what it was. My eyes fell to glimpse a hint of Lynn's pale locks as she nursed one of my nipples in much the same manner as I nurtured Roger. 

At that moment, the man grunted. Returning my attention to the expanding and leaking member within my mouth, I matched my motion to the gentle urging of his hands, adeptly managing his ever-increasing girth. All the while Lynn worked her own magic upon my bosom. I began to moan wantonly through my stuffed mouth as I delighted at the parallel sensations of being suckled as I suckled.

Suddenly Roger's fingers tightened within my hair.  He pulled my face forward, lodging the helm of his cock in my throat's entry. I immediately gagged, sputtered and attempted to recoil.  His hold did not lessen in spite of my struggles. I soon felt the warmth of his seed spilling down my throat.  

Unsure what I should do, I simply did nothing, intent on allowing the man to essentially force-feed me the remainder of his offering. In spite of my mental acquiescence to the mild abuse, my body revolted. I couldn't breathe. Tears rolled from the corners of my eyes as I began to retch.  

Lynn's mouth left my breast. From the edge of my vision I saw her stand. "What the hell are you doing!" she screamed.

Roger released my head at once. Still gasping, I turned to lean on the bed, spewing on the sheets as his cock continued to spew upon me.

"I was just…" Roger started.

"Get out!" Lynn snarled.  

Still panting through my open mouth, I looked to her face and found all pleasantness departed, her features twisted in a manner that frightened even me.

After hearing her bark, our now ex-beau decided not to test her bite. He threw on his clothes.  "Uh, bye, I guess," he offered as he started for the door.

"Good fucking guess!" Lynn yelled after him. She maintained her stature until the door had slammed; then she was at once by my side, as gentle and caring as ever. "Are you ok?"

I nodded shallowly. "I think so."

"I'm sorry," Lynn offered. "I didn't know he was going to do that."

I issued a mild snort. "Me neither." 

"Men are such pigs!"

I closed my mouth and shook my head. "No they aren't. Not all, anyway. Billy was always nice to me."

"He cheated on you!"

"We never had any agreement not to see other people."

"It's understood when you're a couple!"

"Is it? And what defines a couple?"

Lynn issued a long sigh, as if my question had somehow taken the wind out of her sails, and with it her ire. The blonde's gaze shifted below my face. I followed her eyes to the small white glob Roger had deposited on my bosom.  My eyes moved to the bed, and an even bigger stain.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to make a mess."

Lynn shook her head. "Don't be silly. I'm sure I would have done the same thing." She extended her finger to my breast and brought a good sample back to her nose. "So that's it?" she asked after sniffing momentarily.

I nodded. "Yep. That's it."

"Not what I expected."

My mind drifted back to Billy. "Yeah. Not what I expected the first time either."

Lynn sighed and tongued her upper lip. "You remember last spring when I said I was attracted to someone, but the time wasn't right to tell the person?"

I nodded absently. "Sure."

Lynn's blue eyes locked upon my own. "Well, I think it's time."

"Tell me it's not Roger?"

Lynn shook her head. "It's definitely not Roger."

I perked up. "Who then?"

Lynn's eyes wandered. "You recall when you said we often can't help who we're attracted to, and I agreed?"

"Yes."

"So you won't hate me when you find out who it is?"

"Of course not!"

"Ok." Lynn took in a deep breath. "It's you."

I blinked twice in rapid succession as my jaw fell.

Lynn's face dropped as well. "You don't hate me, do you?"

I shook my head, not that she could see the motion. "No, I don't hate you. How could I ever hate you?"

Lynn sighed. Her gaze remained low. Her lips twitched. "Are you going to move out?"

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know."

"How long have you felt this way?"

Lynn exhaled a long breath as she brought her eyes back to mine. "Years. I've always loved you, Wendy.  As long as I can remember."

It was my turn to swallow hard.  "I've always cared for you too, but I'm not sure I ever thought of you in that way."  My already open jaw fell wide as I recalled Joel Dirk's similar words, and how much they had hurt.

"What way?" Lynn asked, her eyes moistening. "We've always been best friends, haven't we?"

"Yes," I affirmed with a nod. "You are my best friend."

"Well," she began with a smile. "What could be more natural than loving your best friend?"

I parted my lips as if to reply, but I then realized I did not have an answer to what seemed to be such a simple question. "I'm not sure," I admitted after a handful of awkward seconds. "Maybe nothing."

"But you do like me, don't you?"

"Like, yes."

"Did you like it when I kissed you?"

I nodded. "Sure."

"Did you like it when I sucked your breasts?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you just liked it?"

I gulped. "No."

Lynn moved closer. "You know I only picked up Roger so I could be with you? Do we have to stop just because he's gone?"

I had no doubt what my friend was really asking. Still reeling from the revelation of her true feelings, I was suddenly forced to examine my own desires. I looked at my unforeseen, yet ardent, suitor, recalling the many times she had touched me in some token way, complimented my appearance, or bought me a small gift. She'd been flirting with me for months, if not years, and I had never done anything to dissuade her.  

How often, I mused, have you looked upon her face and been captivated by her loveliness?  You enjoyed her flirting, didn't you? You've even flirted back! How many times have you told her how pretty she is? But did you ever think she was beautiful in that way?

It was a stupid question, one that needed no answer. I knew she was beautiful in that way and every way; inside and out. In that moment I accepted that I had often looked upon Lynn with something other than simple admiration; yet I had never been willing to admit it, even to myself; even when she had been the object of many of my nocturnal fantasies.

My eyes fell from hers as I weighed my desire to pursue my fascination against society's expectation that I decline. Somewhere within me a spark of indignation erupted into full flame, a blaze that matched the growing yearning in my heart. 

Teeth clenched, I concluded no one was going to dictate whom I was allowed to love. Lynn was right. She had picked the perfect time to tell me. Without speaking, I edged forward, closing half of the distance between us.

Lynn's breathing became erratic as her eyes brightened. Her hands, fingers weaving amidst one another, moved to directly before her bosom.  Her gaze wavered, then steadied. She pressed her lips together, then forced her tongue between the union. "Oh, Wendy," she whispered before stretching her mouth upward to meet mine.

I released an involuntary whimper as I felt the passion in her lips cascade into mine. This was not the animalistic lust I had felt from Billy. While that was satisfying in its own way, this exchange was on another echelon. She released her long-caged yearnings unto me in a surge of adulation that is indescribable, even if one has experienced it.  The magnitude of her affection, and the generosity with which she shared it, touched my very essence. Never before or since have I felt more wanted, more loved, than I did that moment.

Our mouths parted, leaving me feeling suddenly empty; craving more, yet feeling somehow unworthy. Lynn moved her lips along my cheek, kissing, even nibbling as she went until she neared the cusp of my ear.  There she nibbled softly upon my lobe before whispering, "I love you, Wendy. I've always loved you."

My roommate released me at once, and then crawled past me onto her bed. Keeping her radiant face exposed to mine, she found my palms with hers. I followed her gentle tug onto the mattress, not daring to speak. I'm not even sure I was breathing.

"You're so beautiful, Wendy," Lynn whispered as I joined her on my knees. "You make Cindy Pierce look like a hag. I get wet just looking at you sometimes." She moved her free hand to cup my right bosom. "I love your breasts. They're so nice and big. I want to suck them, Wendy. I want them in my mouth.  I want all of you in my mouth."

Lynn started to bring her face once again to my bosom, but I grasped her head and offered my mouth as a substitute; one she eagerly accepted.  We kissed again, for the first time as true lovers rather than wooers.

Allowing my weight to carry me backwards, I pulled the lighter girl with me as I fell.  We landed in a pile of twisting torsos, caressing hands, and searching lips.  Somewhere in the tangle, Lynn's fingers found my muff.  My back arched of its own volition as I felt her begin to pet me. I rolled onto my back as she continued to adore me with her fingers. Her strokes were more appropriate for a worshipper than a seducer, although she was certainly both.

"I used to play with myself when I thought of you," Lynn hissed.  "Then I'd suck my fingers and pretend I was tasting your pussy; this pussy."  

"Me too," I whispered.

Lynn dropped her brow as she tiled her head. "Me too what?"

My tongue ran the length of my lips before I replied, "I've touched myself and pretended it was you."

Lynn's eyebrows bounced skyward.  "You have? Me?"

My brown eyes locked on her blue ones, I but nodded in reply.

Lynn pulled her fingers from my crease and brought them to her nose. Closing her eyes, she inhaled a single long breath. A smile graced her charming features before her lips parted and she pushed her shimmering fingers deep within her mouth. 

In the most wanton and enticing fashion, my lover drew her digits between her lips, scouring all traces of my extract from their surface. "I want you," she whispered. "I want you to mark my face with your scent. I want to smell you tomorrow every time I breathe. I want to taste you, all of you."

"I want you too," I replied in the same hushed tone.

Lynn's face melted into that radiant smile, the one that is always familiar, yet never old. Her piercing topaz orbs were locked upon my common brown ones as she maneuvered into position between my thighs, like a cat stalking a mouse. I spread my legs to welcome her. Within seconds, I felt her breath upon my sex.  My thighs twitched.  She moved her open mouth full over my crease. Pressing her lips against my flesh, she drew, sucking a substantial portion of my vulva into the warm confines of her oral cavity.

With a delicate purposefulness, Lynn massaged my loins with her lips for a handful of minutes before she brought her tongue to bear. I gasped as I felt her appendage probe my pudgy folds. My fingers involuntarily moved to the roots of her pale tresses, pleading with a gentle pressure that she do anything but quit.

My hips pushed upward to meet her. I wondered briefly if she had ever done this to anyone else.  She seemed too good to be a novice. My eyes began to twitch in their sockets. My scalp tingled.  I didn't care if she had done it before, as long as she did it now.

As if Lynn sensed my growing wants, she shifted her focus to the top of my vulva, bathing that most sensitive of areas with a wide, slow-moving tongue. I felt a digit probe my moistness. She shoved that finger as deep within me as she could, aggressively rubbing my interior just below her nurturing tongue. 

We were consumed by the moment; lost in one another's love. Nothing else was on our minds; not school, not our families, not the sun, the moon, or the stars; most especially not the thousands, perhaps millions, of spermatozoa on the bed; and on our bodies.  It never dawned upon either of us that we might accidentally introduce into me a particularly determined one. 

Blissfully unaware of the transpiring of a minor miracle, I moaned as my lover continued to lavish her affections upon me. Somewhere within my abdomen, a peculiar trembling commenced. Like the tremors of a subtle earthquake, my body began to shudder. My breathing came in spurts timed with my quivering. 

I gasped as my mouth flew wide. Then I cried out, not caring who heard the resonance of my passion. My fingers involuntarily clenched, gripping my lover's locks. I pushed my womanhood against her face as a seizure ripped its way loose from my very soul.

A strange gurgle reached my ears, but only as a distant echo, such were the throes of my convulsion. Another wave of pleasure rippled through my body.  I was somewhere else; somewhere wonderful, somewhere I had never been before, somewhere I wanted to stay, and Lynn had taken me there. 

Only when I heard my lover sputter and choke was my psyche forced back into the world where my body dwelt. I looked down as her face emerged from my loins. Her beautiful skin glistened with my juices.  "I love licking you," she purred.

I released a short sigh. "I can tell."

"Promise me you'll always let me lick your pussy?"

I passed a heavy sigh, but did not reply; at least not with words.

Lynn looked to me with mournful eyes. "You do like me, don't you?"

I moved my head, nodding it a slow, determined fashion. "Yes, I do."

"Do you like the way I lick your pussy?"

"Yes."

"Then why can't I always lick it?"

I sighed.  "Always is such a big word.  You may have known you loved me for years, but I've only known I loved you for minutes."

Lynn's mouth formed a wide circle as her jaw dropped. "You love me?" Her eyes moistened in an instant. "Did you say you loved me? You did, didn't you? Tell me you did!"