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Jesse

By: helena_snow_renn



My first orgasm? It was in my first car, the one I referred to as the turd-mobile, as it was shaped just like one on wheels with a non-descript tannish-brown color, tapered on both ends. Like that joke, "Why are turds tapered?" "So your ass doesn't slam shut." Anyway, I mean the car, not the orgasm. 

My attraction to Jesse started when he laughed at my dumb jokes. 6'2" and blond, he had gold in the front of his smile, capping a slightly crooked front tooth. He was 'nice' in that fourth-generation Scandinavian/upper Midwestern kind of way; everybody liked him. Considering I'd had a fling with his best friend earlier in the summer, which ultimately ended in me getting fired from my job, he should have been totally off limits. If anything, it reconciled my former co-woker and me back to our friendship at least, due in no small part to said buddy boy more or less setting us up. I'd never held any credence for other people's rules.

His sport was wrestling; he was a state finalist. He was extremely built, but not bulky and he was ripped. I've always been your garden variety short, stocky, wide-hipped German. Jesse man-handled me like I was just a little wisp of a girl. He wasn't shy about grabbing and squeezing, moving me to where he wanted me. I'd known him for thirty-six hours and he was to be leaving in the morning when this story played itself out. We never saw each other again. 

To back up just a little, the previous night had been spent in a barn with about a dozen other people who worked at summer camp. For hours, we'd made out and groped, trying to be inconspicuous, zipping our sleeping bags together. Everything about him was hard, intense--from the ice-blue eyes to his washboard abs to his throbbing nine-inch prick. Even just playing with it, I knew I'd never seen one that big. Moreover he bit, he sucked, he prodded long elegant fingers around and into me till I was bruised and sore but still not satisfied. His sexual mein was like he was starving. 

So that next night we took off, speeding crazily down a gravel road in the mountains. It was pitch moonless black, and I had dirty headlights. All we cared about was getting away and crossing as many boundaries as possible. With his tongue in my ear, fingers up my cunt; me trying to drive with one hand, the other wrapped around his own personal stick shift, we eventually found a secluded spot and pulled over. 

Dropping our clothes as we went, each of us jumped out of the car and into the back, using the corresponding back doors. It was too tiny of a car to go over the seat. We'd already had two days of teasing each other, both of us just wanted to fuck. I unzipped his pants and he practically ripped mine off of me. Naked, kneeling on the seat, we embraced and rubbed our bodies together. He towered over me, and I suddenly realized I was getting off on the feeling of being overshadowed by a dominant male, even though I'd been just as blatant about wanting him as he's been about wanting me. We pushed more urgently, inciting each other's vivid sensuality. As Jesse dug into my back with short, blunt fingernails, I strung hickies around his neck, wishing I could bite through his skin. Not to hurt him, but because it felt so damned good to maul at him with my mouth. The whole time I had his erection in my fist, Jesse practically gritting his teeth while I squeezed it for all I was worth. He fumbled through his clothes in the dark. I heard the crackle of wrapper and the snapping of latex. It touched me that he cared enough, both of himself and of me, that he'd taken the initiative on the matter. 

I was putty in his hands, though I definitely wasn't keeping my hands to myself. He positioned me looking at the car door, one knee on the seat, one foot on the floor, like him. With his free knee he spread mine, grabbing my ass in his powerful hands and tipping it toward him. I felt his stiff cock inching up my thigh toward my cunt, whose wetness was running slowly down the insides of my legs. Somehow, he entered me fast and slow all at once. I felt every wonderful inch go in, more than I'd ever taken, and suddenly he was just there, in, pausing to wrap his arms all the way around me. He was definitely moving, thrusting--hard--but at the same time he rocked me back and forth in his arms in front of him, forward and back as he impaled me. It was almost like being in a swing. Step after stuttering step he pushed me toward something I hadn't seen the end of yet. 

Abruptly Jesse released me and pulled out. He was breathing hard, tense, the starlight throwing the lines of his sculpted young body into sharp relief. Not understanding, I threw a silent question at him over my shoulder. 

"I've gotta stop or I'm gonna come," he panted. Swiftly, I put the mental pieces together. Oh. We were on borrowed time; had snuck off for this as it was. We were young enough that we were indeed defying "the rules," but old enough to know better than to be satisfied with just a two-minute fuck. As this all occurred to me, I was more than happy to help him make it last. 

Turning to face him, I stroked his sharp cheekbones, then the silky ash-blond hair that even in such dim lighting was gilded to a silver tone. My need for touch, tactile, took over. His body was my playground, his skin hot and firm under my hands as my nerve endings went wild with touching him. Combined with the visual this time, it made me just as insistent as Jesse. Soon we were grabbing and pulling at each other, a storm of sliding hands and mouths, driving each other into a what felt like a blast furnace of sex. I had it's bit in my teeth and I ran. The relative newness and intensity of sex itself was a fever that we were going to break. Jesse loomed over me, like a protector, an aggressor, a man to match me, woman.

Picking me up under the arms like I weighed nothing, Jesse laid me down on the car seat and flattened himself over he, grinding his cock, which was thumping in a rhythm of its own, against my lower belly. Then he took me like he had before, swiftly/drawn-out, one inch at a time and all at once, roughly but carefully. It was almost too much, my whole body pulsed hot-cold-hot in waves; I screamed. Though already caught up into his own sexual groove he asked, hoarsely, "Did I hurt you?" 

"No!" I rasped out. "I love it."

We went animalistic on each other, bodies arching and twisting, humping like dogs, fucking and screwing like it was the last minutes of eternity. It kind of was, for us. I willingly went along with his violence and in doing so, gave it back to him in kind. Caught in a net of starry white-hot sex, I struggled against it and deeper into it, using Jesse's body and the mental stimuli we'd been leading up to this with, I allowed my own inner self to go where it never had before. 

Very psychologically, with a full-grown and harder than steel penis shoving in and out of my dripping cunt, the owner of which bent my will and my body to his, never mind now much I wanted it, and very tangibly, low down, right above the place where I could feel his cock pushing its limits in my depths, there was muted explosion. It spread like flashfire, outwards to my extremities till even my fingers and toes tingled. Jesse knew, somehow, even though I didn't announce it, just felt it. He lay still momentarily, feeling it, eyes closed, forehead wrinkled and eyebrows knotting in concentration. I felt his teeth at my jugular and he clamped down, grabbed my waist and in movements that had turned almost mechanical, pushed himself to the edge. With a noise that sounded almost like a strangled animal, he went motionless and came. In my pussy, which was still coozing all over him, I felt his sperm gush out into the condom. It was over just like that. And nothing was ever the same. 

**************************************************

Click my button! Write something! All responses acknowledged.

Jesse



This is my first submission to this website, so any *constructive criticism is appreciated. Thank you. 

~~~~~

Growing up in a very small, close-minded town as a gay teenager was not an easy thing to do. In my high school, there were a little more than 300 people that attended. The school was filled with "hicks", as I referred to them (being the "rebellious" teen that I was), and finding another person to help ease some sexual tension was a very difficult, if not an impossible task to achieve. I was the only kid at my school who openly admitted to being a homosexual. No one seemed to mind, and even if they did I had a lot of the more "jocky" students behind my back in case they decided to cause me any trouble. 

Despite being out of the closet, I was still unable to get any attention from someone who may even just be curious about sex with another male. My hand was barely enough to keep my high sex-drive under control, and I suffered through high school without another cock to play with. All I could do was go home (which was a 15 minute bus ride to the middle of no-where, mind you), and jerk myself off a few times before I passed out. It was a very depressing time in my life indeed.

So here I was, a recent high-school graduate, still living with my parents, and still a virgin. I didn't have a driver's license, so I was unable to contact anyone and meet up for some quick sex. I was average looking, 5 foot 5 inches with an average build, brown hair and eyes, and a raging member pressing against my jeans at all times. I never thought finding someone to fuck would be so difficult, it was just a matter of where I was raised. I was unlucky, to say the least. Until I got a phone call one evening. 

I answered my phone with a confused "Hello?", not expecting a call at 11 PM at night. On the other line was what sounded like a very nervous guy, who replied with a very muffled "Hey... is this... Jason?" I confirmed who I was and then asked who I was speaking to. It was a boy from my high school named Jesse.

~

Jesse was an adorable kid to say the least. He was an inch or two shorter than me, which was surprising seeing as how I was very short myself. We were only a year apart from each other in age, with him being 18, and myself being 19 at the time. He had curly light brown/dark blonde hair, the softest, most soothing voice I have ever heard, a smile that made me want to melt, and the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen in my life. The only problem with Jesse was that he had very Christian beliefs, with his family being very harsh towards the gay community. That put me off a little, but I still managed to play out certain fantasies in my head, starring him.

~

There was a brief silence on Jesse's side of the phone. I could tell that he was very nervous for some reason. "Hey..." he said sharply, "You're... gay, right?" I chuckled a little bit, and replied with, "Yeah, why?" 

"I was just wondering because..." He paused for a while, "Because I was wondering if... I could try stuff with you?"

I was completely shocked, unable to grasp that I had just heard those words muttered from his lips. I collected myself because I realized that I had a golden opportunity to experience sex with a very gorgeous boy. "I mean... sure, if you want. What do you have in mind?"

"I just want to experiment a little. Do you mind if... I come over?" My parents were out of town, thankfully, so I agreed. I gave him the directions to my house and then prepared myself for what I might experience in the coming hours. I quickly cleaned my room, made my bed, and confirmed that I looked well enough to impress this beautiful boy. Then I waited in the most painful anticipation that I have ever experienced.

I saw headlights coming slowly up my driveway, and that is when my heart began beating extremely fast. I heard Jesse's car door shut, and foot steps up to my door, followed by three slow knocks. I tried to make myself relax a little, and then got up to answer the door. When I opened it, I saw him standing there, twiddling his thumbs, with a scared look on his face. He was just as cute as I remembered him being, seeing as the last time I saw him was at my graduation. I told him to come in, and he followed. I lead him to my room, and sat him down on my bed, he looked around, inspecting my living quarters. I asked him if he would like anything to drink. He respectfully declined.

"So... What are you interested in?" I asked, trying to get a word or two out of him. My heart was still racing. He simply shrugged his shoulders, and said "I'm not sure."

"We don't have to do anything that you don't want to." I said, reassuring him that I wasn't going to go to fast, make him uncomfortable, or hurt him. He relaxed his shoulders, and that is when I made my move.

I sat down beside him on the edge of my bed and unzipped his jacket about three quarters of the way down. Sliding my left hand underneath the fabric, I felt his firm chest beating away. While doing so, I could feel my dick begin to harden. I looked Jesse in the eyes and smiled. I always smiled when I looked into his beautiful eyes, even when I was in a bad mood. I moved in and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. I moved back and asked him if that was okay, he nodded, so I continued. This time, I parted his lips with my tongue and began to passionately kiss him. He was a little bit shocked at first, but then he relaxed and joined me. The friction that I felt between our tongues was turning me on so much, that now I had a rock hard erection, escaping out of the side of my briefs. I was still in disbelief that I was able to touch this boy in the way that I was.

Without parting our lips, I moved my hand slowly down his chest, and onto his lap. I softly squeezed at his crotch, making him let out a soft moan. I parted our kiss and once more asked him if he was okay with what I was doing. This time, instead of reassuring me, he moved in and began to kiss me once more. That was the reassurance that I needed to continue. 

I unbuttoned his jeans, and patiently undid the zipper. Once the zipper had been undone, I reached inside of his jeans and caressed his bulge. The let out another moan. His cock was already hard! I broke away from our kiss and tore my shirt off. He stopped and I noticed that his eyes had redirected to the bulge that was in my lap. I began to smile. I quickly looked into his beautiful blue eyes before sliding his jacket off, and removing his shirt. My cock twitched at the sight of his smooth, toned torso. I pushed him onto my bed so that only his legs were dangling off of the side. With my left hand I was massaging his balls through his underwear, and with my other head, I scooped the back of his head and lowered my lips onto his, sliding my tongue back and forth against his, before breaking the kiss and moving my hungry lips toward his sexy bright pink nipples. I licked and sucked those beautiful nipples for what seemed like a good five minutes, before leading my tongue to his neck. I kissed his neck and he continued to let out soft moans as I rubbed his hard member through his tight underwear. 

I kissed Jesse one more time before moving my tongue to the center of his lightly haired chest. I dragged my tongue slowly down his fuzzy trail, leading down to his belly button, and eventually down to his lightly trimmed bush. I began to hesitantly pull on the elastic band of his boxer-briefs as I looked back into his gorgeous eyes. I spun him so that he would be completely laying on his back. I tugged at his underwear again, before he arched his back and made it easier for me to slide his jeans off. I took only his jeans off at first, because I still wanted to give him one last look-over with my eyes before unleashing the beautiful instrument hidden beneath that layer of cotton. 

I got in between his legs and set myself down on my stomach. At this point, my basketball shorts had completely fallen off of my body, leaving me with only my white, pre-cum drenched briefs on. I kissed his hairy thighs in multiple spots. I could hear him breathing heavily, and I could tell that he knew what was coming next. I massaged his underwear hidden pouch with my mouth, as I pulled on the elastic band once more, freeing a beautiful 6 inch cock. I could see that Jesse's cock was pulsing, and even had a bead of pre-cum escaping from the head of his shaft. This got me very excited. 

From there I slid off his boxer-briefs, and got a full view of his thick throbbing cock, and huge, full balls. My mouth began to water as I looked at his cock. I looked back into his eyes, in a way to get permission to touch his beautiful member. When he nodded, I lowered my hungry lips onto his dick. I gave it short kisses up and down the shaft, and then grabbed it and squeezed. Jesse let out a loud moan this time, and I deviously smiled. I was having the time of my life. 

I rolled his balls back and forth between the fingers on my left hand, and used my right hand to guide his cock into my hungry mouth. I began to suck on the tip of his penis, and he let out a very loud moan. I started slowly letting in more of his cock into my mouth, until my nose was buried in his pubic hair. His cock was very tasty, and I soon began to speed up the pace at which I sucked. I felt him writhing underneath the pleasure that my mouth was giving him, and I could not of been happier. I sucked and sucked until I felt as if he was about to explode, and then stopped.

I heard him sigh, disappointed that I didn't allow him to cum, but then greeted his lips with mine, and began to passionately kiss him once more. He pushed me away from him before saying, "I want you to fuck me."

I was surprised that he was allowing this to go this far, but I wasn't going to object to his command.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I want to feel your cock inside of me."

These words almost send me over the edge. I freed my raging erection from my briefs, and then asked Jesse to turn over. I can't believe that I hadn't given his ass any attention until now, because it was truly a work of art. He had a beautiful big, but toned and proportionate bubble butt that drove me crazy, and now it was right in front of me, his pink hole staring me in the eye. I spread his ass cheeks and began to devour his tight hole. He moaned with pleasure as my tongue danced around his perfect opening, just waiting for me to fuck it. I could of continued like this for hours, but my cock wouldn't let me do so. 

I noticed Jesse's cock peeking out from beneath him, so I squeezed on the shaft, which sent a good amount of pre-cum flowing from the purple swollen head. I scooped the pre-cum up with my index and middle finger, and then did the same to my dick. I used the pre-cum as lube, as I slowly inserted my fingers into Jesse's tight asshole. He was moaning a lot louder than before, as I worked his hole with my fingers, before removing them, and placing the head of my cock at the opening. 

I told Jesse to relax, arch his back, and breathe. He began to do so, and I carefully began to push my cock into his hole. He buried his face into my pillow and let out a muffled scream, which made me collapse on to him and whisper in his ear, "Do you want me to stop?" He told me not to, so I let him adjust to the tip of my penis for a few seconds, before carefully pushing more and more of my cock into him. It wasn't long before I felt his ass resting up against my hips. I gasped loudly, as I had never felt this sensation before. I began to slowly move in and out of Jesse, as his short pain began to turn into immense pleasure.

He was moaning louder now. As I pumped him faster, I could feel my climax beginning to rise. I didn't want to cum yet, though, so I told him to flip over. I wanted to see the rest of his beautiful body before I came. 

I pushed my cock back into his tight asshole and started fucking him harder now. I grasped the back of his skull and looked into his beautiful eyes. I then looked down at his cock. I let his head rest on the pillow as I continued to fuck him hard, and then I grabbed onto his cock. I started stroking his hard, meaty rod as I thrust in and out of him, giving both him and I an abundance of pleasure. 

"I'm about to cum." I told him, as I continued to pick up the pace at which I was thrusting. 

"Please cum inside of me, please." He told me, and those were the words that sent me over the edge. I stroked his cock even faster as I started to climax. I began to cum, shooting cum into Jesse's beautiful tight hole. As he felt my juices being shot into him, he began to orgasm as well. Jesse shot 7 or 8 huge ropes of cum, covering his chest, following by several smaller ropes, dripping down over my fingers, and onto his pubic hair. It was so beautiful, and so sexy. 

When I finished cumming, I collapsed my body onto his, smearing Jesse's cum in between our chests. I kissed him again, us both breathing heavily into each other's mouths. I licked the load that was left on my fingers, and then began to passionately kiss Jesse again. I wonder if he liked the taste of his own cum.

After we both rested a few minutes, I pulled my now semi-flaccid cock out of Jesse and lay down next to him on the bed. He rolled over as well and put his head and hand on my chest, and he rested his leg on top of mine, intertwining us together. We both then began to drift off to sleep, both satisfied that we were able to experience this perfect moment with each other. 



Jesse



I was 18 and living on my own in the southern US. I lived 8 miles from town, where I could drink and hopefully get laid. Since I didn't have a car I usually had to hitchhike. Being that it was always warm out, at night too, I wore my blue jeans and a denim vest. No undershorts it was just too hot. I stood six foot tall and weighed 125 lbs. My blonde hair was cut in a short crew cut. My blue eyes always got attention. My pale white skin was smooth and flawless and naturally lacking body hair. 

As I stood by the side of the road trying to hitch a ride a '70s model convertible pink Cadillac with steer horns on the hood passed me going the opposite direction. I noticed that it made a U-turn and soon had pulled up to me to ask directions. The driver appeared to be in his late 30's to 40's and was a black man with a lisp, like one that I associated with openly gay men. He was nicely dressed. Seems he was in town on business at the local bank and was looking for a place to get a cold beer. I told him I could show him where if he would give me a lift there as well. He agreed. We chatted on the ride and I found out he was 38. 

When we got to town he parked just down the block from the bar and we went in for a drink. He offered to buy me one as he didn't want to drink alone. He ordered a pitcher and we got to know each other some while we drank. I decided I would be on my way for the night as there were many bars nearby that I intended on going to. He said if I was around when he left for his motel he would give me a ride back to where he picked me up. I thought that would be nice.

As closing time was at 2:00 am and I was going home alone I looked down the street and his car was still there. I waited for him. He seemed pleased to find me there waiting. As he drove he said he was too drunk and didn't want to drive any more than he had to. He said his motel room had two beds and that I could sleep there and he would drive me the rest of the way in the morning. Being drunk myself I was agreeable. 

We got to his room and the a/c had it nice and cool. I settled into one of the beds, still wearing my pants due to my lack of undershorts. He commented that it didn't look comfortable to sleep in my jeans and I mentioned why I was. He said I should get comfortable. I stood with my back to him and in the light from the TV I stripped off my jeans giving him a good look at my tight white bubble butt. Then I slipped under the sheets.

I must say that for years since I watched my first girlfriend sucking my dick that I was curious about doing it myself. She seemed to enjoy it so much, it made me want to try it. Now I was far from my family and friends and naked in a motel room with a gay man. My drunken state had my mind racing and my seven inch dick hard. 

We began chatting as we lay there in separate beds. The conversation quickly turned to sex. Now I was stroking my hard on as we talked. Then he said he was going to get in my bed because he couldn't hear me so good and that way he'd be closer to hear better. My heart raced as he slid under the covers in the bed with me. Soon as we talked he reached over and touched my pubic area at the base of my dick to "show" me where he meant as he spoke. His hand slid up my dick and he commented on its length and the mushroom head and that he liked my slight curve to the left. That quick touch felt great and I wanted more. He slid closer to me and I to him. He tried to kiss me on the mouth but I didn't really like that idea. I was in his arms with his hairy body pressed against mine. He reached down and stroked my dick again. My hand slid over his hairy beer belly and down to his cock which was hard and actually smaller than my own, about 5". 

He commented that he was small and that most black men were much bigger. I had no idea. I told him he was the first man I'd been with. His cock felt so good in my hand as I stroked it. He bent down and took my dick in his mouth for a few moments then he lay next to me again. Now I went down on him, my first cock, it was dripping precum and I tasted it and it was sweet. I licked it all off the head and then licked my way down the underside of his shaft to his balls. He laid on his back while I licked his balls then took them into my mouth. They were bigger than mine and had coarse pubic hair on them. I kissed and licked my way up his shaft to the head then I opened my mouth and took my first cock into my mouth. I was able to take all of him easily down to his balls. Soon he stopped me and we changed positions. He said he wanted me to suck my first cock in all the positions and after that I could suck him in my favorite. We did just that. Turns out my favorite position that night was me on top in a sixty-nine. 

He sucked my swollen dick so good and I loved having him in my mouth. His hands were on my ass pulling me down to him. I was close to cumming and tried to pull out when he pulled my ass down taking into the first deep throat of my life. He had all of me inside his mouth, the mushroom head of my dick down his throat. Then he began to swallow. OMG his throat was massaging my dick. All the while I'm moaning and sucking his cock. His hands on my ass hold me in deep as he swallows, his hips pump up to bury his cock in my mouth. He grunts as he shoots load after load into my eager mouth. I swallow all of it. He pulls my ass down again taking even more of my hard dick into his throat. Suddenly my anus spasms and then my dick throbs and I feel my cum shooting down his throat as he swallows. My mouth opens and his plump cock slips out as I moan in pleasure. My trembling body collapses onto him as he sucks wave after wave of cum and orgasm out of me. When it subsides he releases me and I roll off him.

We get comfortable again. His arm around me as I lay next to him, my head on his chest and my arm on his belly as my hand softly caresses his body. We drift off to sleep. We awaken in the morning still holding each other. My hand moves down to find his cock hard. I play with it for him. He rolls me onto my back and goes down on me for a moment. He then gets up and goes to the bathroom. When he comes back he moves between my legs and goes down on me again. Then he begins to push my legs up as he licks his way to my tight little butthole. When he began to lick it I couldn't believe how good it felt. He licked me good and began to tongue fuck my ass. This made me crazy. Then he came up on top of me with my legs on his shoulders. His hard cock aimed at my ass. I reached around and began to jerk him. There was lube on the bed next to me that he brought from the bathroom earlier. He told me to put some on his cock while I jerked him. I did and as I stroked him I rubbed the head of his cock against my wet asshole. It felt so good rimming my ass with his slippery cock. 

Then as I did this he pushed forward driving about an inch of his cock into me. Before I could protest he pushed again and buried himself balls deep in my ass. I winced and moaned as my ass twitched trying to adjust to his cock. Then he began to slowly hump my ass. He moved faster and deeper as he planted a kiss on my open mouth forcing his tongue into my mouth and muffling my moans. My hands roamed his chest and arms. Then my hands felt his ass as he humped me, he began to really pump me fast and hard. It was feeling good for me and my hard dick was leaking precum. I felt his cock swell and get really hard then a few pumps later and he grunted and began to cum in my ass. I could feel his throbbing cock dumping his seed in my ass. When he was satisfied he let my legs down and rolled off me. He went down on me and I came in his mouth. We spooned and drifted off again.

When we next awoke we dressed and he gave me a ride home.



Jesse



The club was packed, just like it was every Saturday night. I was standing against the wall watching Jesse grind up against some shirtless twink, just like I did every time we went clubbing. Sweaty bodies approached me and asked me to dance, but I declined. It was my job to keep an eye on Jesse. Granted it was a self-appointed position, but it was important to me to watch out for him. My best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life.

Jesse waded through the crowd and stepped close to me, giving me his phone number acquisition update. I smiled and nodded and watched him disappear back into the crowd of half naked men moving in unison to the latest dance pop song blaring over the speakers. I nursed my one beer of the night. Another self-appointed position, designated driver.

We were in front of Jesse's apartment building. I stopped the car in a red zone and watched him stumble out.

"I'll help you inside," I told him, cutting off the engine.

"I'm good," Jesse slurred his words and stumbled again, face planting onto the small grassy area in front of his building.

We slowly made our way up the walkway, Jesse's arm was draped over my shoulder and he was leaning against me with almost all his weight. I punched in the security code and managed to open the big metal gate with one arm and one leg. We stopped at Jesse's door and I held my hand out for his keys.

"Pocket," he said, leaning his head against the wall.

I reached into his left pocket and caught my breath when I felt his dick against my fingers. The keys ended up being in the right pocket. My hands were shaking and I had to steady myself just to open the lock on the door.

Jesse's apartment was tidy and smelled like vanilla. On the nights we went clubbing he would spend the day making it shine in case anyone was coming home with him. Most of the time it was just me dragging his drunk ass into bed and leaving him there to sleep it off.

We made our way into his bedroom and I let go of him when we reached the bed. He slumped onto the comforter. I pulled his shoes and jeans off, doing my best not to leer at his hard-on tenting his boxer briefs. I quickly pulled the comforter over him.

"Ryan," I was halfway out the bedroom door when I heard him call my name. I went back to the bed and sat beside him.

He took my arm and pulled me close to him. "Stay with me," he whispered.

"Not tonight Jess," I kissed him on the forehead and watched him pass out for good.

I made my way back out of the apartment building. The lingering smell of alcohol on Jesse's breath helped remind me that his request meant close to nothing. When I got to the driver's side of my car I noticed the parking ticket.

"Perfect," I said under my breath.

---

When I showed up at Jesse's apartment to check on him he was laying on his couch with an ice pack on his head. Still in his boxer briefs and still reeking of last night's club outing. I set a Venti Cappuccino on the table next to him.

"How you feeling?" I asked him.

"Shhh, don't talk so loud," he groaned.

"You owe me 85 bucks," I said smacking his feet out of the way and sitting at the end of the couch. He put his feet in my lap.

"What for?" he grunted.

"Got a parking ticket carrying your ass to bed," I told him.

"You should have let me fuck you, would have made the $85 ticket worth it," he teased.

My heart fell and I had no comeback. I did not even think he would remember asking me to stay. We sat in silence until Lady Gaga singing "So Happy I Could Die" suddenly broke into the air. His ringtone. It annoyed the fuck out of me. Jesse looked at the caller ID and pressed the silent button. I wanted to ask who it was but I had no right.

"Did I give out my number last night?" he had the ice pack back on his head.

"I have no idea," I really didn't.

The phone beeped indicating the caller had left a message. I wanted to reach for the phone and play the message on speaker. But I didn't. He picked it up and put it to his ear.

"Oh shit, I did," he said into the phone. He held it out and pressed the speaker button.

"Uh, hey, this is Mark, you gave me your number last night. Was wondering if you wanted to maybe grab a coffee sometime. Anyway call me xxx-xxx-xxxx."

"Which one was Mark?" Jesse said to the air.

"Well, I should head out, I have to be at work in an hour," I picked up his feet and scooted off the couch.

"I'm not calling him back," he told me under the ice pack.

"Calling who back?" I said in mock sarcasm. I left him lying on the couch and hoped he was telling the truth. My instincts told me otherwise.

Work was more stressful than usual that day. It just seemed like the universe had sent all the stupid customers out in the world and every one of them was looking to buy cheap furniture at a Swedish build-it-yourself store. It was all I could do not to kill small children who jumped on the display beds and punch the people asking questions like "what size sheets does this twin bed take?"

The worst part was I had no texts from Jesse through my entire shift. He always sent at least one or two. I told myself over and over that it was simple. He fell asleep. But my imagination kept telling me other things. He had called Mark back. They were out sipping lattes and flirting incessantly. They were rolling around naked in Jesse's bed. You know, all those paranoid thoughts I have when he manages to forget to text me.

I finally fell sleep some time after midnight after staring at my phone only yielded more frustration and imaginary sex between Jesse and some twink named Mark whom I hadn't even caught sight of but just knew how to describe in my mind. The next morning my phone woke me up with a message.

Don't hate me.

Jesse's text read.

My heart fell and I closed my eyes again.

Why?

Was all I could type.

I called him back. He's so nice!

Smiley face.

Here we go. They had talked for several hours, he told me. Mark was 19 and still living with his parents until after college. He was only out to a few friends. He was in school studying graphic design. They had no plans to meet up yet but I knew it was only a matter of time. I mhm'd and aha'd between his long texts and when he finished with his story I told him to just be careful.

He's harmless.

Another smiley face.

Right.

--

Somehow I found myself standing against the wall at RAVE, sipping a beer and watching Jesse grind up against nameless twink #47. It was Wednesday night and I had just worked a full day. But Jesse begged and I broke and there I was. The clientele started getting to know my patterns, and I was beginning to wonder if that was a really bad thing. Nobody approached me for a dance or a drink anymore. They knew I'd just say no.

I took a swig of beer and looked out onto the floor. Jesse's arms were wrapped around the neck of some tall skinny young thing. I really despise this channel. Wish I knew where the remote was. As my mind made amends for what I was doing to myself sticking with this show I saw Jesse approaching with the tall skinny thing.

"Ryan! This is Mark!" Jesse yelled into my ear, shoving Mark in my direction.

We shook hands and nodded to each other.

"I'm going to get us a drink, be right back," Jesse yelled over the music.

Mark and I stood there staring at each other in silence. I hoped my eyes were saying what my mouth wasn't. Be very careful with whatever game you are playing or I will hunt you down. Jesse returned with their drinks. They stood with me and took two big gulps before returning to the dance floor. I watched for about 10 more minutes and then pulled out my phone.

I gotta get home, work tomorrow. Be safe. Xoxo

I figured he wouldn't hear it over the music and his new plaything was distracting him, but I wasn't about to leave without telling him. As I waited outside by the valet Jesse came running up.

"Why are you leaving? It's early," he said grabbing my arm to pull me back in to the club.

"I'm tired, I have work tomorrow, you are in good hands," I said, without looking at him.

"I see. I did not know he was going to be here, he showed up on his own," Jesse got defensive.

"Never said you did, and I really do have to go," I stayed firm.

"Don't start this Ryan, I'm just having some fun," more defensiveness.

"Be careful," I walked to the front of my car and handed the valet a tip.

Jesse got into the passenger's side and pulled out his phone. He sent a text message and pocketed it.

"What are you doing? Go back inside and have fun, you wanted to come here," I turned the car off and sat there.

"No, I came here with you, I am leaving with you," Jesse told me, reaching for the keys and starting the car back up.

"You're so weird," I said as I pulled away from the curb.

We got to Jesse's apartment and I parked down the street in a legal spot. He could walk half a block and I was not about to stop at a red curb for any reason.

"You coming in?" Jesse looked at me and smiled.

I really wish he would not do that. Despite wanting to stand my ground and leave him here with a simple goodnight, there was so much of me that wanted to follow him inside. When it came to Jesse I always went against my gut. So I cut off the engine and followed him into his apartment.

"Want a beer?" Jesse asked from the kitchen.

"No, thanks," I sat on the couch.

Jesse came back with a bottle of water and a beer. He handed me the water and sat down close to me despite the massive amount of space the couch held.

"There is nothing going on with me and Mark," Jesse was looking at me with his serious face.

"'Kay," I said.

Jesse reached up and put his hand on my face, turning my head so that I was facing him. He leaned in closer and pressed his lips to mine. I let myself kiss him back, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him in closer. I slid down the couch and let Jesse lay on top of me. We kissed and rubbed against each other, slowly removing shirts and pants until we were both just in our underwear. I could feel his hard shaft against me. He reached for the band of my underwear and let his fingers slip inside.

As I felt his finger graze against the head of my dick Lady Gaga came blasting through the air. Jesse ignored it. He kissed me deeper, running his tongue against mine, grinding his hips into me. Two minutes later it was Lady Gaga again. Jesse pulled the phone from his jeans pocket and looked at it. He silenced the ringer and let it go to voicemail again. He returned his attention to me, kissing my neck and chest, flicking his tongue against my nipples.

And, Lady Gaga again. "Hello," Jesse answered. He listened to the caller as he ran his hands over my chest and stomach. He stopped just as he got to my crotch.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure everything will be fine, just go sleep and you can figure it out in the morning," Jesse said into the phone. His hand rested on my stomach. "I should go," he told the caller. "Night," he ended the call.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"Mark's parents were questioning where he was and who he was with, it freaked him out," Jesse explained.

"And he called you?" I asked a little more harshly than I meant to.

"He doesn't seem to have anyone else Ryan, so yes, he called me," Jesse leaned in to kiss me again.

"I don't like this kid Jess," I blurted out.

"He's not a kid he's 19, and you don't know him," Jesse countered. 

"19 is still a kid and I know enough," I said pushing Jesse off me.

"Stop being dramatic," Jesse tried to push me back down.

"I have to get going," I told him, grabbing my jeans.

"What the hell Ryan, it was just a phone call, I'm here with you," Jesse raised his voice.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, get some sleep," I kissed him and walked out the door.

--

Friday morning I woke up with my phone beeping at me.

You awake?

Jesse's text read.

I am now.

I replied, quicker than I should have.

What's new?

His standard question for everything. It meant hi, how are you, what are you doing, all in one.

Just woke up. You?

Thought maybe we could hang out, finish what we started the other day. 

I don't think that's a good idea.

You don't want to?

You know that's not the case. I just think it is a mistake. 

Explain.

We want different things, Jess.

You just said you want me. I want you. Seems simple enough no?

Jesse. You don't want me. You want my ass. You want options. I'm not an option. I am the choice. I won't take anything else.

What are you talking about?

You have other people in your life that you want. I can't be your sometimes lover. I need to be the only one. You know that about me.

There is no one else in my life. 

So no more Mark?

I haven't talked to him in 2 days. Why are you always bringing him into this. He has nothing to do with us.

I know you well and I know that this kid is in there, in that head of yours, and in your heart. You can't lie to me, I've been around too long. You have a pattern.

Jesus Ryan you are always so intense. There is nothing going on with Mark or anyone else. You know I love you, I don't know what you want from me.

I want you to understand that I can't, won't, be 2nd best. I won't be optional. Our relationship stays as it is as long as you still feel the need to go clubbing and searching for something else. I've been right in front of you for 4 years and it hasn't been enough. No amount of sex with me is going to fix that for you. Sorry.

You know I despise ultimatums Ryan. You are asking me to change who I am. You know I can't do that.

I'm asking you to understand me and love me the way I need to be loved. You can't do that, so, I will not put myself in a situation where I am the one who loses. You don't get to have it all princess.

Whatever.

That was his final word. Whenever he could not counter argue it ended in whatever. I was shaking, near tears, but I felt good, getting the words out into the open.

The weekend went by in a blur with no word from Jesse. I was at work on Monday when my phone started buzzing with texts.

I need you. 

Where are you?

Ryan?

They were about 5 minutes apart. When I went on break I called him. It went to voicemail.

"Jess, I'm at work, you know I can't talk or text when I'm on the floor. I am on break now, I have 10 minutes. Call me."

Jesse did not call back until after my shift had ended. I spent the 6 remaining hours pacing the showroom floor, barely paying attention to customers. I sent him several texts when I could go on break and tried to call again at lunch. My head ran through a gamut of scenarios. They all had to do with Mark.

"What's up?" I answered on the first ring.

"Mark was kicked out of his parent's house, so I had to go get him," Jesse broke the news.

"Where is he now?" I asked, but I knew the answer.

"Here," Jesse confirmed my thought.

"'Kay'" it was all I could think to say.

"I couldn't just leave him on the street Ryan, he's scared, alone, and he called me," Jesse tried to justify it.

"I can't tell you what to do, just be careful Jess, you don't really know this kid," I tried to keep my voice calm.

"I wish you would stop calling him a kid," Jesse snapped.

"He's 19. You are 31. He's a kid," I snapped back.

"Whatever," Jesse's usual retort.

"What did you need me for?" I asked.

"I need you to just be here for me, be my friend," he told me.

"I am always your friend Jesse," I assured him, "but you know I never hold back my words and you know how I feel about this," I reminded him.

"I know. Just trust me. I need to help him, but I need you too, I know I am being selfish but I need you both," his voice was shaky.

"I'm not going anywhere," I meant it. As hard as it was on me, I couldn't just walk away now.

We hung up and I went about my week as usual. I worked my shifts, came home, watched some TV, did some reading, and went to bed. Jesse and I exchanged texts daily with updates on the Mark situation. Nothing had changed. Mark had made no attempt to find somewhere else to be and Jesse had not pressed him to. As far as I was being told nothing was happening between them, and I wished that my gut was not telling me otherwise.

--

If you told me that I would be standing against the wall at RAVE again I would have told you to go to hell. But here I was, watching the dance floor and drinking a beer. It was Saturday night and the room was packed with bodies. Amongst the crowd Jesse and Mark were moving to a different tune than what was blaring over the oversized speakers. I looked in their direction just in time to see them in a full lip lock. I averted my eyes and chugged my beer.

My brain went over the aspects of the evening and asked why I was torturing myself here. I had no business being at the club, it was not my scene. So why was I still standing against the wall pretending I had a purpose in this place? My job had been outsourced. I set my beer bottle on a nearby table and headed for the exit, promising myself not to come back under any circumstances. When I got to my apartment I shut my phone off.

When I woke up late Sunday morning I turned the phone back on and found several text messages and a voicemail. Jesse looking for me. I set the phone down without answering him. I spent the day doing busy work, trying to stay distracted from the want, need, to pick up the phone and call him back. While I was on a marathon walk I felt it vibrate in my pocket.

Ryan. Where are you?

I stopped and sat on a bench at the park I had come to during my walk through the neighborhood. I held the phone in my hand contemplating what to do.

Wasn't feeling the club so I went home. You were busy, I did not want to disturb. Hope you had fun. I'll talk to you during the week.

The phone went back in the pocket and I power walked back to my apartment. I could feel the vibrating as the text messages came in. Ignoring them was rough. I read through them when I got back to my place but never responded. He was angry and confused, and I needed him to feel that way for a while.

On Wednesday I worked a double shift, a coworker had asked me to cover for her and I was all for spending more time working than not. It was not really a busy time at the store so my day was mostly spent setting up new displays and decorating mock rooms. It felt good getting to help design the spaces. That was my ultimate goal someday. Interior designer. For now I was stuck working for minimum wage while I paid off my business degree. A kneejerk reaction to the "what do you want to be when you grow up" issue. College was a must, so I went with the easiest route. Now I was 28 and wishing I had known who I was 10 years ago. But that's for another time.

I was tucking the duvet into a bed frame when I heard my name and I looked up to see Jesse standing outside the children's room display.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I approached him.

"He's gone," Jesse's voice was shaky and hoarse.

When I got closer I could see that his eyes were puffy and red. "Gone where?" I asked, pulling him over to a chair.

"I don't know, he just left, without saying anything," Jesse said slowly.

"Sorry," it was all I could think to say at the moment.

"Why would he just leave?" Jesse asked.

"I don't know Jess, did something happen?" I wondered.

"No, everything seemed fine. He'd been down because of his parents but we were having no issues," Jesse told me.

"How can you be sure he's gone, gone?" I asked.

"He took his stuff, everything he'd had with him when I picked him up," his eyes were filling with tears.

I was silent for what seemed to be forever. My brain was fighting with my heart. I had the extreme need to scream at him. This was not the reaction of a man who felt "nothing" for this kid. 

"I called him a couple of times but he never answered, sent him texts, no response, and I looked for him around town, but I could not find him anywhere," Jesse told me.




Jesse



"Maybe, he's not as needy as he made it seem?" I tried to make it sound like more of a question than an accusation.

"He told me he had nowhere to go, no one to help him, he's not out to many people and those he is out to are not really OK with it," Jesse defended.

"Jess, I'm sorry that this is happening, but I can't do this here, now, I have to finish my shift, go home, I'll come over after work," I pulled him up from the chair and walked with him toward the front of the store. "I'll see you soon," I hugged him and watched him walk through the parking lot.

After work I sent Jesse a quick text to let him know I was on my way.

It's OK. He's here. We're talking. xoxo

Should have seen that coming.

--

My phone rang several times throughout the day both Thursday and Friday. I ignored it every time it rang or buzzed with texts and voicemails from Jesse. Saturday night I went out with a group of coworkers. Dinner and a movie was much more my speed. When I woke up Sunday morning my phone was dancing on the nightstand. I had put it on vibrate Saturday morning and left it silent.

"Hello," I decided to answer.

"What the hell Ryan, I thought we were friends, why are you ignoring me?" Jesse's voice came through the speaker, loud.

"I've been around, just really busy, sorry," I kept my voice calm, emotionless.

"You're being ridiculous and you know how much I hate jealousy," Jesse's voice stayed at level 10.

"Can't imagine why I haven't answered the phone," I said under my breath.

"I told you that Mark had nothing to do with us, why are you acting so put out?" still no change in tone.

"You're the one making a big deal out of things, I've been busy and not answering my phone, is that a crime?" I finally started raising my voice.

"Fine. I'll let you get back to your life," Jesse huffed.

"'Kay bye," I said into the speaker, and I pressed the end button.

You are acting like it is a crime that I am helping someone who needs me. Don't pretend you haven't been ignoring my calls. I know you well. And don't ever fucking hang up on me again.

Jesse's text came through as soon as I put the phone back on the nightstand. I looked at it, rolled my eyes, and set it back down. The beauty of texting. I could wait as long as I wanted to answer him.

After a nice hot shower and some breakfast I picked up the phone and typed in my reply.

You know exactly how I feel about this and why I feel that way. But if you need a refresher, I would be happy to explain it all again. You do not get to decide when I answer my phone. You made a choice, I'm making mine. I'm here for you, when I decide it's right. Take that tone with me again and the time will never be right.

I stared at the words for a while before hitting the send button. 

His response came in quicker than I expected.

More ultimatums. I thought our friendship was about love and trust, not rules and regulations. Yes, I know how you feel about Mark and I have told you I am not leaving him on the street to die. He asked for my help and I am giving it to him. He needs me.

What he needs is someone to latch on to while he hides in the closet. He's using you to avoid what he has to face up to. You are in no position to take care of him, you can't even take care of yourself. You are acting like you are some selfless martyr. You aren't. You just like having some kid follow you around like a puppy.

Fuck you. He is not a puppy and I am not a martyr. He is in a bad place and I am helping him out of it. This is not permanent and we are not a couple. As soon as he can get out on his own he will be gone.

You keep telling yourself that. I am your friend and I love you, you know that is true. But I won't watch someone ruin your life because he found your soft spot. I am always going to be honest with you. This isn't going to end well. There is nothing I can do or say that will change what you are doing but I cannot sit back and keep quiet either. You knew that about me when you met me.

Please just do not ignore my calls, I need you, you know that. But I need to help him, too. There is no way I am just throwing him out now. He's here, he isn't leaving until I know he has somewhere to go.

OK. I need to go to sleep, I work another double tomorrow. Sleep well, be safe. Xoxo

I love you Ryan. Xoxo

I set the phone down and rubbed my temples. I really despise being in love. 

--

I decided to keep my schedule busy so that I could stay at a safe distance from the Jesse/Mark situation. It soon became clear that no matter how far I retreated, there was no safety. Just after lunch on the third day in a row of working double shifts I came out of the break room and nearly ran head first into Mark. I looked up just in time to see him turn to Jesse and show him the price tag on the shelving unit he was looking at.

"Hey!" Jesse greeted me like this was normal.

"Hi," I forced a smile.

"We, uh, I came in to get a bookshelf, need a new one," Jesse stumbled over the sentence.

"'Kay, I'll go get Maria, this is her department," I tried to escape.

Jesse grabbed my arm "You can't help?"

"No," I pulled my arm away.

Jesse followed me as I went back into the break room.

"You can't be in here," I pushed him back out the door. He kept coming.

"Don't act like a child, I need a bookshelf, I came to get one," Jesse pushed me further into the room.

"Your lies are getting so out of hand you don't even know you are doing it anymore," I blurted out.

"Lies? So I don't need a bookshelf?" Jesse acted dumb.

"You have a fucking trust fund, this is a cheap excuse for a furniture store. When you need something you go to Beverly Hills ritzy, not San Fernando Valley below average!" I shouted.

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm not here for you," Jesse retorted.

"You live less than 10 minutes away from Beverly Hills and you are at MY store in Burbank, see you can't even keep up with your own lies," my voice kept rising.

"Stop acting like a child, who are you to tell me where to buy a fucking shelf?!" he yelled back.

I grabbed Jesse's arm and pulled him out the break room door, stopping when we got to Mark who was staring at a shelving unit pretending he hadn't heard our little exchange. I tracked down Maria and explained that there were customers who needed a bookshelf in the shelving department. She looked at me funny, knowing full well that I could help them just fine myself.

"Please just help them, you'll understand when you get over there," I whispered.

Maria nodded and headed in their direction. I retreated to the far back of the store and made myself busy with a kitchen display.

After my shift I sent a text message to Jesse.

We need to talk. No holds barred. Alone. Come to my apartment tomorrow at 11AM. I am off work. No excuses.

At 11:05AM the next day there was a knock at my door. I took a deep breath. He was alone, and only 5 minutes late. I was momentarily impressed. I let him in and we headed for the couch.

"This is going to be one of those all out in the open talks," I announced.

"OK," Jesse nodded to me.

"How long have you been sleeping with him?" I asked without hesitation.

"A while," Jesse answered.

"Are you in love with him?" I kept calm.

"Yes," Jesse admitted.

"Does he love you?" I kept the rapid-fire questions going. No need to stop and think.

"He says he does, yes," Jesse answered.

"When were you going to tell me the truth?" I prodded.

Jesse took a long pause. "I don't want to lose you and I did not mean for it to go this far. I hoped that he would get tired of me and leave and it would be all over, but he's not going anywhere, I've tried to be mean, I've tried to encourage him to find someone else, he just, won't," he kept his eyes on the floor.

"Of course he won't, he's living the good life. He's got a rich daddy to take care of him, he knows you love him and won't kick him out, why would he want to leave?" I tried to stay logical, keep my emotions level.

"They always do," Jesse's response was more matter of fact than sadness.

"I'm not waiting around for you Jess, this isn't healthy," I told him.

"Are we going to do the 'him or me' ultimatum thing again?" Jesse snipped.

"If that's what you want to call it, fine, but this is getting way out of control, if you loved me, I would be enough, there would be no need for you to seek out other people, but that's not the case, it never has been," I let honesty reign despite myself.

"Every one of them is gone and you are still here, doesn't that count for anything?" Jesse tried to justify.

"Not really. It says a lot about what an idiot I am, always on the sideline waiting for my turn, we both know my turn isn't coming," I stayed with the truth.

"I have said it before, I know I am selfish, I want it all, I don't want to lose you, why can't we just be like we were?" Jesse kept on the same line.

"What were we?" I asked.

"We had fun, we went out, hung out, guys came and went and things were always OK," Jesse tried to explain.

"Things were never OK Jess, I just dealt with it internally, this is not OK, I need more than you can give me and you need someone that isn't, me," my voice started to crack.

"I need you, I always have and always will," Jesse tried to assure me. "You are the only one who knows me, the only one I let in fully," he continued.

"And it's still not enough, you can't deny that. If it were enough you wouldn't need to be at RAVE every other night looking for more, you would be able to let go of this kid and just be with me, without all this bullshit," I pointed out.

"What does this all mean?" Jesse asked.

"It means that you made a choice, and that's the choice you are going to have to live with, I can't stick around anymore hoping for someday, it isn't going to come," I looked at my feet.

"There was never a choice Ryan. I have enough love to go around. My relationship with Mark doesn't change anything between us," Jesse pleaded.

"It does though, it changes everything, you now have a live in boyfriend, that changes things a whole lot," I reminded him.

"He's not my boyfriend," Jesse said.

"What the fuck Jesse, he's living in your house, sleeping in your bed, you're out buying furniture together, you are in love," I shouted.

"He'll leave, it won't last, I just need to wait for him to figure that out," Jesse said quietly to his shoes.

"You have the ability to end it and you won't, you are letting your need to be loved at all costs win out," I kept on him.

"Give me a little more time, he'll leave, we both know this," Jesse looked at me for the first time since the conversation started.

I looked at him and chose my words carefully "I am not going anywhere, yet. But. I am also not going to let any of it go, and I will not hesitate to tell you the truth even when it would be better not to," I kept my voice firm.

"OK," Jesse was just relieved to know I wasn't bailing.

We sat in silence, not looking at each other. My head wandered in the forest with an axe looking to cut off my heart at the arteries. My heart held its ground, hiding behind the biggest tree it could find.

--

Another week went by and I worked so many hours that they had no choice but to force me to take the next few days off. Monday morning I woke up early for no reason. My mind started to work its magic, over-thinking and overanalyzing every text and brief call Jesse and I had exchanged that week.

I wondered if a nice jerk off session would help me loosen up and fall back to sleep, so I wrapped my hand around my morning wood and started to stroke my dick slowly. It wasn't long before my mind wandered to the short encounter Jesse and I had before Mark had called and interrupted us. My dick throbbed and twitched as I recalled the touch of Jesse's hands on my body, his soft but strong lips against mine. And then it was like a switch turned on and suddenly I was watching Jesse make love to Mark. Moment over. I released my grip and cursed at the ceiling.

After eating some breakfast I decided fresh air was a better idea than sitting in my apartment staring at the television. I took my time walking around my neighborhood, strolling around the park, watching the stay at home moms or nannies, I couldn't tell for sure, play with their kids.

When I got back to my apartment I took a very long very hot shower and tried to jerk off again. Still, I could not get past the visions of Jesse and Mark in various states of sexual pleasure. I got out of the shower and wondered if I was somehow defective.

It was early evening when my phone beeped at me.

I need you.

I rolled my eyes and stared at the phone. A hundred different stories rushed through my brain about what could possibly be wrong now.

What's up?

He's gone.

Again?

This time he's really, gone. He said he wants to just be friends.

I pressed the send button, knowing his number was the last one I had dialed anyway.

"What happened?" I asked, as concerned as I could get my voice to sound.

"He just, packed up and left, told me that he just wants to be friends, that this is too hard for him to handle," Jesse's voice was shaky and gruff, he had been crying.

"Too hard, what the hell?" This genuinely surprised me.

"Something about not being ready to be in a full blown relationship," Jesse explained.

"I'm sorry Jess. Maybe it's for the best?" I hoped he heard that the way I meant it.

"I just don't get it, one minute everything is fine, the next it's too much? Too much what?" Jesse was trying to make sense of it.

"Do you want me to come over?" I knew the answer before I asked.

"Yes," Jesse's voice cracked. He was crying again.

I got to Jesse's apartment quicker than I should have, he was going to owe me a lot more money if I got a ticket for speeding. He had left the door unlocked for me so I just let myself in and found him lying on his bed. I sat down next to him and put my hand on his back.

"Why would he just leave?" Jesse asked me.

"I really don't know Jess. He might just be telling the truth. He's young, he's not ready to be living with someone," I amended my words, now was not the time to remind him he was living with a child.

"I told you he'd be gone soon," Jesse said into the comforter.

"I'm sorry," I was. I wanted this to be over but not this way.

"Why me?" Jesse asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Why you what?" there were way too many answers to the question. I needed specifics.

"Why do I find the ones that are so damaged and want so badly to leave me?" Oh. That one.

"I don't know babes," now was not the time to launch into my psychoanalytical mind warp.

Jesse sat up and looked at me. His eyes were red and puffy. I held out my arms and he moved closer so that I could wrap them around him. After a few minutes we moved to lie down and there we stayed, quietly cuddling, for quite a while. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but I held my tongue. Now was not the time.

We fell asleep in each other's arms and I stirred awake when I felt him move.

"You OK?" I whispered.

"Mhm," he sighed.

Jesse sat up and I followed suit. We were sitting close, his shoulder against my chest. I could feel his breath on my neck. He looked at me and I visibly saw the shield he keeps over him lift. His eyes cleared and all the love he truly felt for me washed over me in a rush of emotion. Tears formed in my eyes but before it could turn into a full sob Jesse leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. He reached up and gently brushed his hand over my cheek.

Our mouths moved with hunger and want, kissing, nibbling, teasing. I leaned back slowly, pulling Jesse on top of me as I kissed his neck and chest. Jesse pulled my shirt over my head and laid his bare chest against mine, returning to my lips. His hands were hard at work on my jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them. He reached inside and pressed his hand against my hard cock.

I traced his back with my fingers and stopped at the band of his pajama bottoms. I slid my hand inside and massaged his ass, pulling him closer to me, feeling his hard cock against mine. I slid his pants off and wrapped my hand around the shaft of his dick. Jesse pulled my jeans and underwear down and teased my cock before moving to get me fully naked.

He returned to me, laying against me, kissing me deeper, pulling me closer. While one hand stroked my dick Jesse prepared my ass with the other. He gently pushed against my hole and watched my eyes to be sure I was OK. I nodded to him, letting him know I wanted him to make love to me.

I sat up and kissed his neck and chest as I rolled the condom onto his dick. I took my time rubbing generous amounts of lube over the shaft, stroking him off as I coated it fully. Jesse reached down and gently moved my hand away, letting me know he was way more than ready to enter me. I laid back and let him take over.

Jesse's hands were wrapped against my thighs, he pulled me close to him and I leaned my legs against his shoulders. His cock pushed against my ass and opened me up, sliding into me, making my eyes roll back into my head. I let out a soft moan and told him to keep going. When I felt his balls against my ass cheeks I let my legs fall to the bed and pulled him over me.

Jesse made love to me with strength and precision, hitting every possible spot and making me shake with pleasure. He kissed my lips, neck and chest and kept his eyes on mine as he thrust his hips against me. I could feel his dick throb harder inside me and I knew he was ready to burst. He let out a deep moan as he wrapped his fingers around mine. His whole body shook as he filled the condom with his cum. He kept his dick inside me while his hand wrapped around the shaft of my dick. It only took two short strokes before I was shooting cum onto my stomach.

He leaned over and kissed me, letting his dick slide out of my ass.

"Wow," Jesse exhaled next to me.

"Ya," it was all I could say.

"Can I use your shower?" I asked him after a few minutes.

"Sure. OK if I join you?" he answered.

We showered together in his big spa style bathroom. The hot water felt good against my sore ass. Jesse wrapped his arms around me as we stood under the water. We kissed and played as we washed off the sweat and cum we had shared. When we stepped out of the shower Jesse handed me a towel. I wrapped it around my waist and looked at him. Years of love and desire swept over me and I could not help but smile. Just as I was about to tell Jesse what I was feeling I saw the shield cover him again. I decided to wait for another time.

--

I followed Jesse back into his bedroom and started gathering my clothes.

"You're not staying?" Jesse asked as I was pulling my jeans on.

"Uh, sure" I pulled my jeans back off.

We climbed into bed and Jesse pulled the covers over us. He kissed my neck and cheek before settling in next to me. It took a while for me to fall asleep completely. It seemed like I had just drifted into a full sleep when Lady Gaga filled the room. I felt Jesse reach for the phone. He didn't answer it.

"What time is it?" I asked quietly.

"8:15," Jesse's sleepy voice was in my ear. He had moved closer to me.

Jesse's hands were exploring my body and I felt his lips against my shoulder blades. He reached around and grabbed my hard dick, brushing his thumb over the head while his fingers massaged the shaft. I moaned in approval. He quickened his stroking. And. More fucking Lady Gaga.

"Fuck," Jesse yelled into the air. He silenced the ring and stared at the phone. "Hello," he answered.

My instincts suggested I take that moment to go to the bathroom and figure out how to make coffee with the fancy machine Jesse had on his counter. I was moving things around trying to figure out where the coffee went when Jesse joined me in the kitchen.




Jesse



"Sorry," he reached over and pushed the piece of machine I had just pulled out back in place. He pressed 2 buttons and the machine came to life.

"Everything OK?" I asked, just to break the silence.

"Mark says his friend tried to rape him," Jesse told me.

"What?" my mouth fell open.

"Nothing happened. He's being dramatic. His friend came on to him, it freaked him out," Jesse's voice was calm.

"Came on to him?" I asked.

"Touched his arm, tried to kiss him," Jesse explained.

"My God Jesse, what's with this kid?" I folded my arms over my chest.

"What do you mean?" he played dumb.

"He called you to say he was almost raped, because the guy touched him?" I was dumbfounded.

"Girl," Jesse said.

"Even better. What did you tell him?" I was starting to fume.

"That he needed to calm down, that his friend doesn't know he's gay and that he needs to stop making things more complicated," Jesse said.

"'Kay," I was a bit surprised. He said the right thing, didn't coddle the kid. I was semi-impressed.

We had breakfast together and I hung around for a few hours before I decided to make my way back to my own apartment.

"Let's go out later," Jesse suggested.

"Where should we go?" I asked, putting on my shoes.

"RAVE?" he offered.

"No Jesse, I'm not going clubbing tonight," I was immediately annoyed.

"Why not?" Jesse pressed.

"I have to work tomorrow and I hate clubbing," I told him. I headed to the front door with Jesse following behind me. "You go, have fun," I suggested.

"No," he said smiling, he kissed me goodbye "Don't like to go alone," he added as I stepped out the door.

Jesse left messages and sent texts later that night but I ignored them. Instead I spent the evening planning my exit, when I had cried myself to exhaustion I finally fell asleep and woke up 2 hours later dreading the long day of work I had agreed to.

When my 2nd shift ended I drove to Jesse's apartment instead of home. I gave him no warning, had not even talked to him since I left the day before. I took a few deep breaths and listened for movement inside, waiting to hear voices in case he had changed his mind about going to RAVE alone and picked up some twink who might still be inside. This is what he does to my head. I knew there wasn't anyone else in that apartment. I knocked.

Jesse answered the door and his face softened as soon as he saw me standing there. He pulled me inside.

"Ignoring me again," Jesse tried to sound un-phased.

"Sit down Jess," I suggested. He sat on the couch. I sat on the chair across from him. "This dance we've been doing, it's getting old," I started.

"What dance?" Jesse asked.

"The one where I pretend you are going to stop going to clubs because we're together and you pretend you are just going to have fun and dance," I told him straight out.

"We're going to do this again?" Jesse huffed.

"Again, and for the last time," I told him.

"What does that mean?" he pretended not to understand.

"It means goodbye Jess," the words caught in my throat.

Jesse sat in silence. "Why?" He asked after a few minutes.

"Jesse if you don't understand why," I raised my voice.

"Ryan, this is ridiculous, why are you making everything so dramatic and weird," he interrupted me.

"The only reason I am here in person is because you deserve more than a text message or a note left on your dining room table," I stood up.

"Don't do this Ryan. You leave and I won't take you back," he tried to spin it like it was his choice.

I stepped to the door and turned the knob. I paused for a moment, I knew it would be the last time I walked through it. "I love you Jess," I said over my shoulder and stepped into the hallway.



Jesse & Ashly



It was a perfect day to be huddled under the blankets with a lover. Outside, the season's first blizzard was rapidly covering the campus where Ashly and Jesse were both music majors. The two roommates and lovers had decided to forgo the dorm parties, celebrating the inevitable class cancellations, and instead simply spend the day together, enjoying each other's company. 

Jess tenderly stroked his boyfriend's hair, as he reflected on the progression of their relationship. It began in early high school, when Jess and his (straight) twin brother, Kit, would host coed sleepovers, which generally went unsupervised. Ash and Jesse were always unusually close for boys, and when the girls, naturally more platonically affectionate, had decided to combine their sleeping bags into one shared sleeping place Jesse and Ashly followed suit. It began with just hand holding and cuddling, and slowly progressed into sleeping naked together in the same bed. They had never had sex, but had engaged in occasional fondling, and constant cuddling and kissing. 

It took even longer to formally title the relationship. Although the openly held hands, and showed other signs of affection, even within the walls of their high school, a label had never seemed important to the love they openly professed. It was Kit's girlfriend, Lynn, who finally took it upon herself to clear the confusion for her fellow student population. Jess, was a self proclaimed bisexual. Ashly's sexuality was the mystery that kept the school talking. Lynn finally approached Ash, and demanded in her usual overbearing, but delightfully cute and cheerful way, 

"You're gay, right?" Ash simply shrugged and said,

"You know, I'd never really thought about it?"

"But is Jesse your boyfriend?" Ashly smiled slowly, and nodded.

"Yeah...yeah, he is." 

That was junior year. The relationship has seriously progressed since then, but had still never been consummated...it had always seemed worth waiting.

Now, freshman in college, huddled together naked in bed, watching the snow fall from their fifth story window, Jess couldn't imagine a more perfect moment to finally express his love in the most intimate way possible. He pulled Ashly close, and began to kiss his lips, trailing downward to the neck and shoulders, nipping gently at his lover's neck, while still playing with his long, straw coloured curls. 

Ash moaned gently as Jesse's mouth lowered, and his hand found Ashly's stiffening penis, and stroked it gently to life. As Jess's kisses continued downward, Ash's moans deepened, in anticipation, as he wondered hopefully whether Jess was going to take the relationship to a new level. He was not disappointed. 

"Ugghhh, Jess..." Ashly gasped out loudly as his boyfriend's lips encircled around him for the first time. Jesse moved slowly up and down his shaft, pausing at the head, to encircle his tongue several times around the sensitive flesh. After several minutes of this teasing, Jess finally quickened his pace, swallowing Ashly more fully. Ash entwined a hand is Jesse's long black locks, as he reached the intensity of his peak. Jesse slowed his motion to a torturously sensuous teasing that Ash could no longer endure, as he erupted into Jesse's mouth. Jess continued his servicing until his boyfriend's intense orgasm was completely over, and swallowed every drop, despite it being his first time.

Ash reached down, and pulled his boyfriend up to lay level with him in bed. "I love you" Ash whispered, 'That was amazing." Ash fully intended to repay the favour, but Jesse had other ideas.

" A bit later, love." He told Ashly mysteriously. After about thirty minutes of cuddling, petting, and watching the snow fall, Ash had reentered a state of arousal; what Jesse had been waiting for. In between kisses, Jesse looked at his lover and murmured, "Ash...please...?" So connected were the two boys that nothing more had to be said. Ash reached for the lube in the top nightstand drawer ( an off to college present from Lynn, just in case). After Jess was sufficiently lubricated, they lovers shifted into a spoon position, Jesse on the inside. Ash slowly traced Jesse's circle of flesh several times with his erection, until Jesse, unable to wait any longer, reached back to guide Ashly into him. Ashly eased inside, slowly and lovingly, and Jesse pushed back to meet his lover's first slow thrust. Pain was only a fleeting notion; quickly overcome with pleasure, and the tenderness of the interaction that final connected Jesse to his lover as closely as possible. "I love you." Jesse moaned.

"I love you too," Ash whispered, as he kissed the nape of Jesse's neck. He reached out stroke Jesse, as he moved inside him, Jesse moaned, the sensation causing him to contract around Ashly. Both Jess and Ash began to reach their peak, crying out confessions of love. Being the first time, it had all happened rather quickly, but would be remembered forever.

After rinsing off in a steamy shower, Jesse and Ashy climbed back into bed, limbs entwined, and fell into a deep, contented sleep. Tomorrow, they could look forward to favours to be returned, and a new, increasingly intimate expression of love and dedication. Now, they were happy to just sleep in each other's arms, a perfect picture of love and innocence, as the snowfall continued to cover their campus, and frost formed on the windowpane.



Jesse and Hector



I'm not very experienced writing erotica, but trans guys are underrepresented on here so I thought I'd contribute. Contains light bondage and vaginal fisting. Note: the trans man here uses the words "clit" and "cunt" to refer to his genitalia (as opposed to, say, "cock" and "front hole").

—

Jesse's not reading the newspaper. He has the newspaper open in front of him, propped upright on his knees. But the words just aren't sinking in. He's too preoccupied with other things, like how Hector was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago. Keeps glancing at the clock as if that'll help. Scratches his beard. Glances at the clock again.

Finally, footsteps. The key in the lock. Hector, running a hand through his thick brown hair. "Let yourself in, I see."

"You're late." Jesse doesn't move. "How'd your day go?"

"Oh, nothing new." Shrugs his coat off his shoulders. "Are you hungry?"

"Want to fuck?"

That makes Hector laugh. "Ah. Hungry for something else, I see."

Jesse folds the newspaper, tosses it on the table. "Well? Yes or no?"

"How could I say no that face?" Hector's coat goes on the table too. "That permanent scowl of yours just sets my heart aflutter."

"Fuck off." Jesse heads for the bedroom, pulls open the closet door. "You should tie me up."

"Then you should take off your clothes." Hector's behind him, one finger in Jesse's belt loop, pulling him away from the closet. "So you want to be tied up, do you?"

" 'S what I said, isn't it?" His shirt's on the floor, followed quickly by his socks and pants.

"Well, I'm afraid I can't do that."

Jesse looks up sharply. Hector's got his hands on his hips. "Not until you suck me off."

Jesse gazes after him as he sits on the edge of the bed and unzips his fly. Rolls his eyes. "You could've just asked, you know." Kneels between Hector's legs, pulls down the front of his boxers until his cock rises free. 

It's a nice cock. Average size, maybe a little thicker. Easy to handle. Jesse runs his tongue along its length, then closes his lips around it and sinks down, letting it hit the back of his throat before pulling up. He works up to a steady rhythm, hears Hector's contented sigh. "You're so kind to me."

Jesse would respond, but he feels Hector's fingers resting on the back of his neck now, which means he's about to get cock shoved down his throat, so he relaxes, breathes, and there it is, Hector's hips pushing forward, hand pushing down. Jesse opens his throat and takes it, squeezes his eyes shut for a second, waits, and the pressure lets up. Then forces him down again, and he feels it this time, filling his airway. Contemplates slipping a hand between his legs to rub his clit, but he knows he'll get more than enough of that later. So he lets it go.

Hector releases his head, so he sits back on his heels, coughs once, just breathes for a second. But Hector's standing, brushing past him. "On the bed."

Jesse kneels there, folds his arms behind his back so they'll get tied in a comfortable position. They've done this before. He feels the rope winding around him, cinching tight, and then Hector pushes him onto his back, folds each leg up and ties it like that. He's in his boxers now, and an undershirt. He'll lose his clothes by the end of the night, but not yet. He taps lightly on Jesse's clit. "Goodness, look at the size of it. So aroused already."

Jesse rolls his eyes. "Yeah. Probably because I want you to fuck me."

"Oh, I'm not going to fuck you yet."

Of course not. It was worth a try.

"However, I will blindfold you. So you just stay right there and amuse yourself." The bed creaks as he stands. "Maybe think about how much you want my cock in you right now. Or something."

Jesse would think of something else just to spite him but he doesn't really want to, if he's being honest with himself. He's still thinking about it when Hector returns with the blindfold. Jesse turns his head to the side so Hector can buckle it closed.

"Excellent." 

Jesse envisions what he must look like right now. Blindfolded, on his back, legs splayed.

Hector's tongue on his clit.

He twitches. Can't help it. Makes a noise, too. Can't help that either. But that's fine. Positive feedback mechanism. Signals that he's getting turned on just turn him on more.

Hector's mouth on him. Lips on his labia, tongue running along either side, back up to his clit. Sucking on his clit now, and Jesse exhales hard, toes curling in the sheets. 

Fingers brushing his entrance. Jesse stiffens, hoping, praying, but of course not, of course Hector just leaves his fingers there. He considers lifting his hips, trying to get those fingers inside him, but he knows Hector's not going to let that happen. And will probably take his hand away altogether. So Jesse deals with it. 

Until he can't.

Because he can feel them, every second, right fucking there, and he starts moving his hips, without realizing it at first, but he keeps going, arching off the bed a little, trying to convince Hector to just slide them in already. Hector's mouth comes off Jesse's clit and he chuckles, high and light. "I'm sorry, do you want something?"

"Yeah, I want your fingers in me." Obvious to both of them. But hearing it out loud gives Jesse a minor perverse thrill. Probably Hector, too, since he's the one who asked.

"What, these fingers?" Presses them lightly to Jesse's cunt, on either side of his entrance. 

Jesse's hips thrust up at the sensation, but Hector backs off too quick. Jesse lowers himself down again. "Yes. Those."

"You like getting fingered?"

He grins. "Yeah."

"How about just one? Is that enough?" Slow circles with one finger.

No, it's not fucking enough. "More."

"Two?" One finger on either side, up and down.

He hesitates. He could ask for three, although it's a little painful sometimes when he starts off with that. He likes feeling full, but right now.... Nods at Hector. "Yeah."

"So three then."

Asshole. Stops thinking about that when Hector shoves three fingers in him. "Mmmm-m-m-m—" Stuttered out from his clamped-shut lips. Fuck. Fuck, that feels good. Mild pain, yes. But it'll go away soon.

Hector manipulates him ruthlessly. Curls his fingers up, pumps them back and forth so the friction at Jesse's entrance and the pressure in that one spot has him moaning, grasping at the sheets under his back. Then withdraws suddenly and slaps Jesse's crotch, just lightly, not enough to hurt very much, but enough to provide a definite counterpoint to the undiluted pleasure radiating from between his legs. Then shoves his fingers back in, spreads them so Jesse lets out a broken-sounding "ahh—" before pulling out almost all the way, ramming in hard, not letting up, just pumping and pumping with so much force Jesse's whole body is moving back and forth with it. Jesse listens to the stream of "hah, hah, hah" coming from his own mouth and doesn't even try to stop because he knows he won't be able to. It turns into a sharp inhalation through his teeth when Hector slaps his cunt again. But then the fingers are back inside him, stretching and probing, Hector's thumb on his clit, and Jesse can hardly find the space to catch his breath.

It takes him a second to realize that everything's stopped. He trembles. Couldn't do much else right now if he tried. Hector's hands on his knees. "Now that the foreplay's over." 

Foreplay. Right. The foreplay that's left him a sweaty, dripping mess already.

Hector unties his legs, turns him over, gets his arms. Jesse pushes his blindfold up, sees Hector undressing (finally), seizes the opportunity to chug half the water bottle that's sitting on the night stand. Hector plucks it from his hands before he's done, takes a swig himself, makes a circular motion with the index finger of his free hand.

Jesse knows what that means. Pulls his blindfold back down, gets on all fours. Feels Hector tugging his hands together and tying them like that.

Right by his ear. "I'm going to fuck you until you can't move."

That promise has never technically come true. But Hector always does his damnedest to make good on it.

Hector's fingers in him again, less for fucking this time than investigating. "My goodness. Do you know how wet you are?" Fingers withdrawn, something against him that's probably Hector's cock. "I swear, I've never met anyone so cock-hungry in my entire life."

"For fuck's sa—" Which trails off into a long, aching moan as Hector's entire length slides into him. He falls to his elbows, hangs his head, just lets himself feel it for a moment, the pressure on his inner walls. Realizes Hector's talking. "Jesse, please. You must have learned by now from the hundred other times I've done that to you."

"Of course I've learned." Hector's cock pulling out of him slowly, and he grins at the sensation. "Maybe I just like encouraging you to stick your cock in me faster."

"You sly thing." The tip pops out, stays at his entrance. "Although I'm not quite sure I believe you."

"What, that I like your cock in me?"

"Exactly." Hands running down Jesse's thighs. "I think you're going to have to prove it to me."

So he does, pushes his cunt onto Hector's cock, sighs as he feels the head spreading him open, keeps going until his ass meets Hector's body. Hears Hector's satisfied "Mmm." 

Moves forward until just the tip is inside him. Plows himself back again. And then he's lost in it, fucking himself back on Hector's cock, and all the while Hector doesn't move, just lets Jesse keep impaling himself, and Jesse's starting to think Hector's trying to tire him out when a hand lands between his shoulder blades and shoves him down into the bed, and the other hand grabs him in the crook of his hip, and then Hector's fucking him.

Fast. Definitely faster than Jesse was going earlier. Pulling Jesse onto his cock, pounding into him, and Jesse's voice shivering into the bed, "Oh my god, oh my god," until Hector's hand wraps around his mouth, shoves his face into the sheets. Feels Hector's warmth on his back. Voice in his ear. "I'm sorry, you just look so much better like this." 

Jesse remembers a few times he's done this to Hector, and he has to admit to himself it's probably true.

Then his mouth is free but Hector's fingers are rubbing his clit. He's not fucking Jesse so fast anymore, but with hard thrusts now, each one forcing a half-agonized moan from Jesse, who's moving his hips too because he can't help it, nothing feels as good as this does. He feels the edges of the orgasm, rolls his hips forward to press against Hector's fingers. "Fuck. I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come."

A low chuckle from Hector, who starts fucking him faster again, his finger practically vibrating against the base of Jesse's clit. Jesse reaches for it, shoves his ass back against Hector's body one last time, and then he's coming, trying not to yell but doing it anyway, a string of "Fuck, I'm coming, fuck, fuck, fuck" while Hector keeps punishing his clit, keeps ramming into him even as the orgasm starts to fade, Jesse gasping, up on his hands again but falling to his elbows because his strength is gone. And finally Hector's pace starts to grow erratic, and he grits out a taut "Fuck—" as his nails dig into the tops of Jesse's thighs, and he sinks to the hilt into Jesse's cunt, comes at last.

Jesse, half-collapsed, feels Hector's dick slide out of him, sits back on his heels, breathing hard. He's overstimulated and he can't think straight and he couldn't begin to describe the sensations radiating from his cunt if he tried. Pushes the blindfold up again, squints over his shoulder and is satisfied to see Hector's bronze skin also covered with a sheen of sweat. Hector drinks half the remaining water, leans over Jesse, undoes the blinding on his hands, gives him the bottle.

Jesse pushes himself upright, finishes the bottle off, chucks it on the floor. "Jesus." Goes to take the blindfold off.

Hector grabs his wrist. "Oh no, you'll be needing that again."

Of course they're not done. Jesse doesn't respond. He always says he likes to push himself, but the actual undertaking is...daunting.

"Arms." Hector shakes the rope out from where it lies tangled on the bed.

So Jesse replaces the blindfold, folds his arms behind his back, lets Hector tie them and then do his legs like they were before. The binding's hardly done before his cunt's filled again with Hector's fingers—it might be three, but Jesse's pretty sure it's four, and he lets out another shameless stuttered sound at the suddenness of it. 

The fingers rotate and spread. "Now that I've fucked you open some."

Shit.

Hector pulls out, jams his fingers in again, and Jesse's so aroused and so wet there's practically no resistance. He feels it, though, the stretching, and then Hector's thumb on his clit so his cunt clenches for just a second and god damn, he's filled up. 

The fingers curl inside him, hitting that spot again, running along his inner wall, and he's moaning and moaning, but it's too much right now—or he thinks it is, can't tell for sure because he hasn't recovered from his last orgasm. Then Hector's laughing, and that's probably not a good sign. "Look at you. Swallowing four fingers to the knuckle like it's your day job."

Shit. Shit.

"I think we can push you a little further. What do you say?"

Hector wants his whole hand in there. He has slim hands, for a man, to accompany his slim build, but Jesse still hesitates. "Wait—"

Hector's fingers curling and uncurling inside his cunt. He can tell now. That feels good.

He nods.

Pressure at his entrance. He tightens up for a second, either in fear or as an automatic reaction, he can't tell. But then Hector's other hand is running down his thigh, over the rope, and he relaxes. 

The pressure at his entrance is gone. Now it's inside him.

Relax. Relax. Forces himself not to tighten up again, tries to process the sensation in his cunt, vaguely aware of the noise at the back of his throat that sounds suspiciously like a whimper. Realizes both his legs are tensed up, lets that go. Hector, breathy. "Now isn't that beautiful."

There's a fist in my cunt.

Strangely proud.

"How's it feel?"

He nods again. That's all he can manage.

They just stay like that for a little while, maybe a minute, maybe more or less, Jesse can't tell. Then Hector starts to move, slowly, carefully, and Jesse knows he's being loud and the neighbors probably hate him but he can't stop and doesn't want to. Because he keeps thinking about how stretched he is and how full he is and he's too turned on to even think about anything but Hector's hand slowly fucking his cunt. 

And then Hector speeds up. Jesse's hips lift off the bed. "Oh, fuck—" He's pretty sure he can't take this, tries to say something more coherent, anything, but then there's one final pull and Hector's hand is gone.

He feels empty. Emptied out.

Fingers at his entrance, prying him apart. "If only you could see yourself. Gaping wide open like a slut."

He wishes he could see himself. But the thought alone is enough to excite him.

"Oh, one more thing. I'm afraid I have some bad news."

Bad news. There's no way that means anything other than some excuse for Hector to fuck him more. There's a tiny chance that it means he's just going to leave Jesse like this, but Hector's never shown any interest in orgasm denial. Quite the opposite, actually. Jesse's too drained to respond, so Hector keeps going. 

"It appears I'm hard again."

Right on the money.

"You want me..." Jesse breaks for breath. "...on my hands and knees?"

"No, that seems unnecessary. You're already spreading your legs for me."

Warmth on his cunt. And then he's not empty anymore.

Short, fast thrusts this time, and Hector's lips on his own, then on his neck and chest when Jesse's panting too hard to kiss back. Times like this, Jesse wishes he wasn't blindfolded, because Hector is a beautiful man and even his sex faces are surprisingly attractive. 

Sharp pain in his shoulder. 

"Fuck!" He knows what that was. "I swear to God, Hector, if you bite me again I'll rip your dick off."

"Fine, fine, my apologies." 

Jesse can hear the smile in his voice. He does this every few times they fuck. Hector's into biting. Jesse's not. But Hector likes to check, every so often, just in case Jesse's changed his mind. No such thing has happened.

Jesse's knees are pushed up to his shoulders as Hector shifts to a better angle to thrust into him. Hector's not slowing down this time, and the buildup of friction in Jesse's cunt is so intense that if Hector spent ten seconds on his clit he's pretty sure he'd come. But Hector's not spending any time on his clit. Just keeps fucking him and fucking him. It's impossible to keep that pace up, but when he does break it, the slow thrusts are so forceful Jesse moans just as loud, wondering how much more he can take.

When Hector comes, it's with a sharp gasp that quickly turns into a laugh, and Jesse grinds into him, because he loves making Hector feel good (when he has the space to think about it between getting fucked). Then Hector pulls out, and Jesse feels empty again.

And is again filled with Hector's fingers, because Hector seems to derive substantial enjoyment out of watching Jesse moan and writhe. Both of which he's doing right now, unabashedly, and when Hector removes his fingers, Jesse starts humping the air, in case they're just out of reach. 

"You are really—" Hector delivers a light slap to Jesse's cunt. "—the most desperate and shameless slut I've ever had the great fortune to fuck." Rolls Jesse's clit under his thumb. "Do you want to come again?"

"Yes." Lowers his hips back to the bed, overcome by the pulsing pleasure thrumming in his clit.

"Let me get this straight—you've been fingered, fucked, fingered again, fisted, and then fucked and fingered yet again and you still want more."

"Fuck you. And yeah."

"What if I just...left you hanging?"

He doesn't, thank god, fingers slipping down to gather wetness from Jesse's cunt and then back up to his clit. Jesse makes an effort, forms the words. "Probably jack off first chance I get."

"Ah. Of course you would. Now, I wouldn't do that. As I love watching you come. But." Thumb still on Jesse's clit but now there's two fingers inside him, running along his inner wall, pressing and pressing. "I think I should get something in return."

"You already came, asshole." Breathy. He can't help it.

"Yes, but that was in the past. I want something now. I want you to moan for me."

"I'm alre—" 

A hand clamps over his mouth. "Louder."

It's not difficult. The sound magnified in his head under Hector's hand, face pressed sideways into the sheets. Hector's fingers pump faster, and Jesse's moans turn high and desperate because he's getting close now, so close, and then Hector's hand is off his face but a thumb hooks in his jaw and yanks his mouth open so his panting and moaning fill the room and probably the neighbor's room too but he doesn't care because he's coming as hard as he's ever come, back arching, hips bucking wildly against Hector's hand, which slips a little from the violent motion but keeps working his clit until he's begging Hector to stop, please, stop, stop.

Hector withdraws.

Unties his legs. Rolls him on his side. Unties his arms. Takes off the blindfold.

Jesse lies there. His mind is completely free of thoughts. The fucking he's just received is too much to think about. Anything else requires too much effort. 

Hector sits on the edge of the bed, just in front of the bend in Jesse's body. He rubs Jesse's back, lightly. "Did you have fun?"

Jesse grins. He'd laugh if he had the strength for it. "Yeah. Fun."




Jesse and Hector



"Good. Then you won't mind making dinner."

Now he does laugh. "Sure. In a few hours when I can stand again." Flops onto his back.

Hector sighs. "Useless." Stands, pulls the knit blanket over him. "Here. I guess I'll be the responsible one then." Strides off toward the kitchen.

Jesse shuts his eyes. He's exhausted. His whole body feels like it's glowing. He decides to take a nap.

Hector? Hector can deal with it. He's had his way enough tonight already.