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Valerie

By: litpervgrrl



1.

I guess I was a bit of a late bloomer; I didn't have my first orgasm until I was eighteen years old. I had never been particularly interested in boys and sex and all that. My family wasn't well off, and if I was going to get into a decent university (unlike my sister Valerie who was still living at home and going to community college), I would have to get really good grades. I had tried masturbating before. Everyone said there was nothing wrong with it, that it's totally natural, etc etc. It just didn't do much for me. 

So I was caught totally off guard when one night, as I was absently touching myself between my legs, I started to get seriously turned on. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. It was kind of my habit to play with my pussy before I went to sleep; it was relaxing and felt nice. All of a sudden, my petting started feeling really good. I couldn't stop; I didn't want to stop. I could tell that my cunt had gotten really juicy. My clitoris seemed to have swollen until it was the size of a marble. I rubbed and rubbed until waves of pleasure washed all over me like surf at the seashore. So that was orgasm! It was the best feeling ever. I knew then that I had struck gold.

From then on I masturbated almost every day. Sometimes I would give myself two or three orgasms before I went to sleep. I thought about sex a lot. I was very curious. Mom had, of course, explained the mechanics of reproduction and the female body to me when I had first started getting my period. She was a nurse, and had given me a very thorough clinical explanation of sexuality. That was fine, as far as it went; I didn't want to end up pregnant; but I wanted to know about the good stuff.

I wasn't very interested in the boys at school, and frankly they didn't seem very interested in me either. I was kind of a freak. Sometimes I felt like a giraffe dressed up in girls clothing; I was taller than most of the guys in my senior class, and my butt and hips stayed distressingly wide no matter how much I worked out. As if to spite me, my top half was, well I wouldn't say flat, but I had nothing like the bust that my older sister proudly sported. To top things off, I wore glasses, I had broken my nose in a bike accident when I was ten and it was still crooked, and was I always studying, and got 'A's in all my classes. I wasn't exactly a boy magnet.

My friend Jenny lived up the block. We were the same age, and we had been best friends since junior high. Jenny was half Caucasian and half Vietnamese, and still had the body of a little girl. She was short and had curly black hair, and a flatter chest than me. From behind, you might have thought you were looking at a twelve year old boy. Puberty seemed to have passed her over. We had never really talked much about sex, but one evening she called over to our house. "Andrea, come over here! I found something I've just got to show you!"

Jenny had found a stack of old pornographic magazines in a box in her attic, and we looked through one of them that evening while her mom and dad were out. I had giggled and said "Ew gross!" the way I thought she expected me to, but secretly I had been incredibly turned on. I liked looking at the pictures of naked women exposing themselves so shamelessly; I loved their big tits and round asses, even though I thought they should have hairier pussies. There was a spread of two girls doing it to each other, which I had never thought of before, but I realized that I found the notion quite intriguing. Best of all, there had been pictures of a man and a woman actually doing it; having sex. I had never seen a naked man before, and there it was in all its glory, hard dick and all, sliding that big thing into that lucky models pussy-hole. By the time I went home, I was super turned on, all sensitive and juicy, and I couldn't wait to run up to my bedroom and play with my clitty. Maybe I could get Jenny to loan me one of the magazines. Or maybe, just maybe, Jenny would want to act out some of the pictures we had seen.

I hadn't expected anyone to be home at our house. Mom worked nights at the hospital, and Valerie was supposed to be out on a date. Valerie was 21 and she had a steady boyfriend, but she was a "good girl" and had told me before that sex was painful and gross, and that she was going to stay a virgin until she got married. Me, I had no intention of waiting that long. I didn't think that sex was gross at all.

There was a car parked in our driveway that I didn't recognize, but all the lights were off. I quietly let myself in and locked the door after me. I was about to head upstairs to my bedroom when a noise in the living room stopped me in my tracks.

Hardly daring to breathe, I tiptoed up the hallway and peeked in. There on the sofa was my goody-two shoes sister and her boyfriend, Mark.

Mark was 24, tall and slim, with thick rimmed glasses and unruly hair. I had seen him before, and I thought he was really hot. I didn't think he had ever noticed me before; he probably thought I was just a kid.

Mark and Val were on the couch, making out. They were kissing deeply, and Valerie's shirt was open, her bra unsnapped, and her big boobs were totally exposed. Mark was playing with her tits as they kissed, and she seemed to be encouraging him. Her nipples were erect, stiff and red and the size of gumdrops. I had always wished that I could have boobs like hers. From where I was standing in the dark hall, I could see the bulge in the front of Marks pants where his penis was straining to get out.

'I wish I was Valerie right now' I thought to myself. I was rubbing myself through my own pants 'I would be all over that action!'

As I watched, Valerie's skirt seemed to ride up all by itself. I saw her white panties, stretched tight over her pussy. Her legs seemed to spread as Marks' hand found its way down there, petting her through her underwear. I was creaming in my pants.

Suddenly Valerie stopped him. "That's enough!" she said in a voice that left no room for argument. I couldn't believe it! Neither could Mark. He begged, reasoned, and pleaded, but her mind was made up. No more fooling around.

"Besides, my little sister could get home any minute. You don't want her to catch us here like this do you?" My heart thumped in my chest.

"Could you at least give me a handjob?" Mark asked "I'm so turned on, I'm about to come in my pants."

"No way!" Valerie made a face. She relented a little. "I understand that guys have… needs. If you really need to, you can jerk off in the bathroom."

'Jerk off in the bathroom?!' I couldn't believe what a prude my big sister was! And what a waste! What was this totally hot guy doing dating her? He could have any girl he wanted. If only I was the older sister… 

It was a split-second decision. Quiet as a mouse, I slipped into the hall bathroom and sat down on the toilet seat.

Mark walked in a couple of heartbeats later. He flipped on the light and closed the door. Then he saw me.

"Andrea!" he hissed "What are you doing here? What did you see?"

"Ssh!" I whispered "We don't have much time. I heard what Val said, and I felt bad for you. I'll give you a handjob."

"What? You're too young!"

"Am not! I'm eighteen." I said, eyeing the bulge in his pants lustfully. "Take it out, I'll show you."

Mark really wasn't in any condition to argue. He unsnapped his jeans, dropping them around his ankles. His hard prick eagerly sprang out of his boxer shorts. 

I was a little surprised at how big it was. All that was supposed to fit up inside your pussy? Still, it looked really nice. I wrapped my hand around it. My fingers barely reached around its girth. It was scalding hot in my hand. He was rock hard and quivering. The mushroom shaped head was bright purple, and oozing clear liquid from his pee-hole. Tentatively I stroked him. I was surprised at how silky soft he was, despite being so hard. It felt really good to touch him. His balls were drawn up tight. 'How weird' I thought 'To have so much stuff hanging out between your legs!'

"Hurry up!" he whispered "I don't want Valerie to get suspicious."

It didn't take long. I loved stroking his cock. It made me feel incredible; powerful and sexy. I mashed my thighs together as I jerked him off, squishing my swollen cunt-lips together. I squeezed his penis hard and moved my hand as fast as I could. Suddenly it happened. He half moaned, half growled, and his entire body went rigid as he squirted glob after glob of pearly white juice out of the end of his penis.

"Don't stop" he whispered as I milked his softening prick. More and more leaked out. Of course I knew that sperm came out of a guys penis, but I had never imagined that it would be so much, or so forceful. How cool! It had gone everywhere; onto the wall, onto the toilet, on the floor, on my hand. I tasted a little. Not bad, a little salty.

"Mark, are you done yet?" Valerie was just outside the bathroom.

He kissed me softly on my head. "I'm just cleaning up. I'll be out in a sec!"

"Hurry up!" my sister said from out in the hall "I've got to go to the bathroom."

Mark and I hurriedly mopped up his semen with toilet paper and flushed the evidence down the toilet. He kissed me again, on the forehead. Then I hid behind the shower curtain.

I heard Valerie sit down and pee. I expected her to flush and leave, so that I could make my escape up to my bedroom. Instead, Christy stayed sitting on the commode. I heard little squishing noises, heard her breath change and become more rapid, and I knew that she was masturbating. I never would have imagined that she did it; she was such a good girl. Well, I had just given her boyfriend a handjob. I suppressed a giggle.

2.

I gave myself three or four orgasms that night, and more over the next couple days as I replayed the memories of sexy Mark and his big dick. I was hungry for more.

"Are you going out with Mark tonight?"

"Yeah" Valerie answered absently "We're going to see a movie. Why?"

"Could you get him to drive me over to my friends' house? Her mom said she'd drive me back home? Please?"

We both had our licenses, but Mom had taken the car to work. It took a little begging and wheedling, but Christy agreed to ask Mark for me. Mark didn't seem to mind much.

"Where does your friend live?" he asked as we drove down the block. The car was humming with sexual tension. I was wearing my pink party dress, which was a couple years old and a little small on me. It rode halfway up my thigh. I wasn't wearing any panties.

"Right there" I replied, pointing back at Jenny's house. "Keep on driving."

"Listen" Mark said "About the other night…"

"Did I do a good job?" I asked.

"Yeah" he said "Yes you did, but…"

I could see the bulge that had formed in the crotch of his jeans. I could tell he was at least as horny as I was. "I want to do it again" I said "I want you to teach me all about sex."

"We shouldn't. I'm too old for you. It wouldn't be right. I'm dating your sister." he added almost as an afterthought. "We can't have sex, Andrea."

"But we could do the other stuff" I persisted. I was a little disappointed; I was really looking forward to losing my cherry to him. But I wasn't going to give up that easily. "Like you could teach me how to give a blowjob."

He pulled up into a driveway, and used a remote controller to open the garage door, which closed after us. We were alone in the dark.

"This is my place." He said "Don't worry, my roommate isn't home. We don't have much time though. Valerie thinks I'm just dropping you off."

"Kiss me." I said. He hesitated. "I'm not in love with you or anything. Just kiss me, please."

We kissed for a while, and I thought it was really nice. I liked having his lips pressed against mine, his tongue in my mouth. I was starting to get super turned on. But he was right; we really didn't have much time. I would have to figure out a way for us to have some private time together. Meanwhile I wanted to use our time to the best advantage.

I broke off the kiss. "Would you like me to suck your dick?"

His penis could have answered for him: it was practically bursting the zipper of his jeans. "Only if you want to." he said.

Oh boy did I ever! Some of the girls at school talked about blowjobs like they were something gross; something that girls had to do in exchange for dinner and a movie. Not me. I thought it was super-sexy, and I couldn't wait to get my mouth on his thing.

He unzipped his jeans, letting his penis out. It was just as big as I remembered, if not bigger. (Looking back, I realize that he was about average size, maybe a little bigger. At the time though, his tool seemed the size of my forearm.) I didn't know how I was going to get that thing in my mouth, never mind my pussy.

"Just start by licking it" he said "Like a popsicle."

I lowered my head to his lap, stuck out my tongue, and licked the length of his shaft. He groaned as my tongue reached the sensitive purple head. I tasted the clear liquid that was oozing out of the end. It was sweet and sticky. I was hooked.

So was he, apparently. We took it kind of slow, with him stroking while I licked and (very gently) played with his testicles. As we got into it, and we both got more and more excited, I took the end of his penis in my mouth. I could only get about half of it in, and it filled up my entire mouth. It felt incredible. It was a little bit scary, having that huge living thrusting thing in my mouth like that. I was afraid I might choke, or accidentally bite him. Mostly though, it was just fun and sexy.

I felt his hand on my inner thigh, snaking up under my dress. As I kept sucking, I wriggled around to give him better access. His exploring fingers found my vagina. I reached down and helped him find my clit, which was screaming at me, and felt like it was about to explode. 

Mark rubbing me was even better than me touching myself. He kept his fingers nice and slippery from my oozing vagina, and diddled my button until I thought I had died and gone to heaven. If this was what sex was about, I was all over it!

Mark's thrusting in my mouth was becoming more insistent as he fingered me. I concentrated (as best I could while his fingers drove me crazy) on sucking him as hard as I could.

"I'm going to come!" I knew what that meant. I wanted to make him do it into my mouth. His fingers momentarily stopped working their magic as his whole body went rigid and his ass lifted up off the drivers' seat. Suddenly, he was squirting hot, salty, sticky boy-come into my mouth. I swallowed and kept sucking. It wasn't nearly as much stuff as the other day, but it still felt like a lot. I swallowed all of it. I liked that he was really inside me now. 

His fingers started up again as his shrinking wet dick plopped out of my tired mouth. My own body shook as his rubbing sent me over into orgasm. It didn't stop, it just kept going and going like a wild roller-coaster ride. I thought I was going to pass out as I ground my sticky pussy onto his hand.

At last it was over. I licked his finger off, and we put our clothes back together. I felt like I was floating. We kissed again, like friends this time.

He drove me back to Jenny's house, which was just three houses down from ours. On the way, he told me that he'd never done that before.

"What?" I asked "Gotten a blowjob or played with a girl's pussy?"

"Neither one." he said "Your sister is the only girl I've ever seriously dated, and… well you know."

I was amazed. Mark was 24, worked for a computer firm, and was gorgeous. "Have fun at the movies" I said as he dropped me off in front of Jenny's place "Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky tonight."

3.

I had dinner with Jenny and her mom and dad. It was hard not to tell her what I had just done. She was my best friend. But it was my secret. I thought about how bad my sister would feel if she ever found out, and I resolved never to tell.

After dinner, while her parents watched a movie downstairs, Jenny and I hung out in her room. She got a magazine out from under her bed. We leafed through it, giggling at the pictures and softly reading the stories aloud. I was thinking about the things I had just done with Mark, and getting excited all over again.

Finally I had to ask her. "Jenny, do you ever, you know, masturbate?"

She burst out laughing. "Yes! All the time! I was afraid you would think I was weird!" We both laughed and laughed with relief.

"Do you want to do it?" I asked when we had stopped laughing. "Now?"

"Together?" 

I nodded.

"Ok." 

We silently stripped out of our clothes and lay down, completely naked on her bed. We held hands as we started rubbing.

"How often do you do it?" she asked me.

"Basically every day." I answered "Sometimes more than once."

"Me too." she replied.

We started out lying side by side, but after a little while, we moved so that we were sitting on the bed facing each other. That way we could watch. Jenny's body was fascinating; all the same parts were there, but it was the differences that were interesting. She was a tiny little thing. Her boobs were smaller than mine, and her brown nipples stood straight out. She only had a thin triangle of black pubic hair, but her pussy lips were puffy and more prominent than mine. I could see her inner lips peeking out, glistening with moisture. I had never really looked at another girl naked before. I thought it was cool. I liked watching her play with herself. It turned me on.

"Oh Andrea" she half whispered "I'm going to come."

"Me too" I replied.

She spread her legs even further apart, and slipped one finger up into her hole as her other finger stayed busy on her clit. I copied her actions, feeling her eyes on my splayed vagina. We came at almost the same time. It was incredible.

"That was so much fun!"

"I'm glad we did that."

"I'm glad you're my friend."

After that, we got dressed, and I went home. Valerie wasn't home yet. I went to bed and masturbated one more time. My pussy was tender and sore, but satisfied. What a day it had been!

4.

That Saturday, Val and Mark were going to see a movie in the afternoon. Valerie asked if I wanted to come along

"Sis" I said, feeling guilty "I don't have to come. I don't want to screw up your date."

"It doesn't matter." Valerie said "We're just going to see a movie."

I don't even remember what the movie was about. I think it was a comedy. I sat next to Mark, and he sat next to Val. Hardly anyone else was in the theatre. Mark and Valerie held hands. I played with Marks penis through his pants. It felt naughty and exciting and super fun. He was so hard! I didn't want to make him come in his jeans. I was just priming him for later. When Val got up to go to the bathroom, I stuck my hand down his pants, and gave his hot erection a squeeze. He took the opportunity to reach between my legs, petting my pussy through my pants.

"Try and play with her pussy!" I whispered in his ear. "I bet she lets you."

When Valerie sat back down, Mark casually let his hand fall onto her lap. She didn't seem to mind. As I surreptitiously watched, his hand slipped under her skirt. She still didn't object. I softly stroked his penis through the denim as he played with Val's pussy under her panties.

After the movie, Valerie said she had homework to do. My bet was that she was going to go masturbate. I asked Mark if he would drop me off at my friends' house. He said sure.

"Did you make her come?" I asked as soon as we were alone.

"I don't know." he said "I don't think so."

"I want to taste your finger" I giggled "Is that weird?"

"I don't mind." he said, extending his finger for me. I sucked on it, pretending it was his dick. I thought I could still taste my sisters' pussy juice on it. I felt so horny I thought I was going to go crazy.


Valerie



"You're kidding? Right?" my ex-husband Alan asked incredulously.

"Now, why would I kid about that?" I returned the question with annoyance.

Alan was temporarily speechless and I could hear him fumbling for the right words.

"I'm telling you because when you pick up Alana, Valerie might be there and I want you to be cordial," I stated firmly. 

Explaining my current situation to my ex husband was proving to be difficult. 

"Kate, I...ah...don't know what to say, except...congratulations," he stated with sincerity.

"Thank you, that means a lot to me Alan," I articulated with gratitude and ended the call.

With some trepidation, I reread the email that I had composed for Valerie. We hadn't seen each other for a few days and I wanted to express how I truly felt about her. 

My Beautiful Valerie, I am counting the hours until I can see you again. I can't stop thinking about you. I want to hold you in my arms; kiss you and feel your body next to mine. 

For the first time in my life, I'm deeply in love with someone and that someone is you. You're my best friend and my lover. Without you, I would be lost. 

With love everlasting, Kate  

I hit the send icon and sat back with a smile as an image of Valerie drifted through my mind.  

To my amazement, I fell in love with a woman; a beautiful, sexy and fiery woman. As inexplicable as it seemed, my soul reassured me it was authentic.   My mother, pillar of pretentious manners and icy emotional detachment, was aghast when I told her. 

"Katherine, you were not brought up that way," my mother voiced ignorantly.

In spite of the fact that I asked her countless times, she refused to call me Kate. 

"I see mother, so its nature not nurture; it's part of my genetics," I argued mockingly.

"I really don't care for your tone of voice and rudeness," My mother stated with anger and a hurt look.

"Do you think I get it from dad's side of the family or yours?" I asked with a bitter tongue.

My mother harrumphed angrily and left the room in a huff. When I told her about Valerie, I wasn't seeking her approval or advice. I just wanted her to know. 

I couldn't help but recall how immensely irritated I got with my parents exaggerated airs. Miraculously, my sister, brother and I seemed to be well adjusted in spite of the sterile atmosphere of our childhood home. 

I was the youngest and only blonde haired child in a family of dark brunettes. One evening at the dinner table, my brother made an off color comment concerning my parentage and was grounded for a month. 

The Wonder Years:

"Deidre, take your sister upstairs and show her how to properly care for herself," my mother commanded like some rich dowager in a Victorian novel when my sister walked through the front door. 

I was a month shy of my thirteenth birthday when my first period made its appearance. My panties and pajama bottoms were stained with blood. Normally, I would have gone directly to my sister and circumvented my mother but I couldn't find Deidre anywhere in the house. 

"There, there, don't cry," my sister said trying to comfort me and put a sympathetic arm around my shoulders. 

I was sniffling and fighting back tears because my mother's words were like a harsh reprimand. I considered my sister Deidre to be a godsend because she gave me the love and compassion that our parents seemed incapable of. 

With patience and gentleness, Deidre showed me what to do. Later that day, I saw her sitting in the side yard reading a book. I snuck up from behind and put my arms around her in an embrace. 

"Thank you Dee," I said with gratitude and kissed the back of her head. 

My formative years through high school were spent under Deidre's protective wing. She was the only person in our house that cared for me and paid attention to me. 

My mother and father were advocates of the Victorian proverb, "Children should be seen and not heard" only they went one step further, "Children should not be seen or heard."   

Although my parent's pretended they were affluent when I was growing up, we were middle class at best. We had no servants waiting on us, no fancy cars in the driveway, no cotillions or coming out parties, no lavish vacations to faraway destinations. 

Dinner was held in the dining room every night except Sunday and attendance was mandatory. It was the only time during the day that we shared any physical space with our parent's. 

My father was silent most of time unless my mother engaged him in conversation which was rare. She made comments and commands that she didn't expect an answer for. There was no exchange of ideas or thought. 

My mother sat with a regal bearing and imperious attitude at one end of the table while my father occupied the other. Her frosty exterior exuded a coldness that penetrated every square inch of the room. 

We were expected to sit up straight with a linen napkin on our lap. Any joking or humorous interplay between my siblings and I was discouraged. 

This may seem like a minor thing but instead of granulated sugar in the sugar bowl, it was filled with cubes and a pair of silver plated tongs on the side. Tea or coffee was served only in the good china and sometimes, I felt as though we time warped back to Edwardian England. My friends thought we were goofy.   I attended public schools albeit in a district considered one of the top ten in Pennsylvania. My mother claimed I was getting a private school education without the expense. I was considered very bright and got excellent grades.  

Each child was required to learn to play a musical instrument. Of course, we weren't allowed to choose and I was given the oboe. Whenever I hear or see the word, it conjures unpleasant memories of my teacher, Mr. Jankowski and his hideously bad breath. I had absolutely zero talent and it drove him crazy.

Except for my required appearance at dinner, I was at my friends' houses the rest of the time. Although I was very studious, I loved the numerous sleepovers and parties that kept me away from home. I was a casual drinker but avoided drugs at all cost. 

Like most teenage girls, I was fascinated with the opposite sex. I had a Cate Blanchett type of body; slender and small breasted. My long dark blond hair had a natural wave that was easy to shape into different styles and I garnered a fair amount of interest from boys. Lack of dates was never a problem for me.  

Although all my sexual experiences in high school revolved around boys, nothing transpired below my waist. There was the usual kissing and groping in parked cars or dark corners at a party. 

By senior year, I was very adept at giving my boyfriend hand jobs. My skill level was such that sometimes he couldn't hold out for more than two or three minutes especially if I used some lotion as a lubricant. When I think back, I was rather proud of my talent at the time. 

After graduation, I attended a very well known Pennsylvania public university of considerable size. My bookish nature prevented any outlandish partying but I did my fair share. While I had misgivings about joining a sorority, I pledged and was delighted I now had sixty new sisters. 

Suddenly, I discovered that my social life was much busier. Meeting guys was simplified with all the parties and socials that the sorority sponsored. I must have been approachable because I got asked out at least once a week or more by a myriad of different men.

Although I dated regularly, I never met "the one", the one person that would sweep me off my feet. There were a couple of boyfriends that I liked a lot but love was not part of the equation. 

The old adage that, "time passes quickly" is no joke. In the blink of an eye eight years had passed since college graduation and I was a divorced single mom awakened in the middle of the night by my daughter's croupy, labored breathing.

In the emergency room of the hospital, I was informed that Alana would be admitted for testing and observation. Alone and close to hysterics, I kept my composure and found the strength to put on a brave front for my daughter. 

Unbeknownst to me, my daughter's asthma attack would open the door to a life changing event for both of us.      

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter:

Admittedly, it was a strange way to meet someone, in the respiratory wing of the hospital. Both our daughters had been admitted for lung related problems and they were sharing a room.

Valerie sat on the window side near the drawn curtain divider between the two beds. To my surprise, I was curious about her and looked in her direction but tried to be as unobtrusive as possible. She was medium height like me but had a sexy way about her. My interest was interrupted when the nurse appeared and took both our girls to therapy.  

"God, I hate this waiting around crap," was the first thing she said to me when we were alone.

I nodded my head in agreement.

"I'm headed to the cafeteria for a coffee. Want to tag along?" she asked very kindly.

"Sure, I could use one," I answered in agreement.

"Hey, I'm Valerie, she stated with a very firm handshake.

"Kate," I informed her.

In the cafeteria line, I got a good look at Valerie with her straight blonde hair, blue eyes and slim figure. 

"Jesus, she's not only pretty but a hot body too," I thought to myself.

I was captivated by Valerie but clueless as to why. She had a crisp unaffected way of speaking and her smile, an infectious smile that warmed my heart. 

"Do you think these doctors know what their doing?" she asked with sincerity.

"I try to think they do but sometimes..." I answered warily. 

Valerie glanced at her wristwatch.

"Damn, I hope they bring Cassidy back before I leave for work," she said anxiously. 

"Cassidy; I've always liked that name for a girl," I stated wistfully.

Valerie gazed at me with an intrigued look on her face. 

"If it's ok with you, I'd like to bring some candy for your daughter tomorrow?" I asked politely.

"That's really nice, sure. Cassidy loves chocolate," she said.

Valerie looked at her watch again. 

"Shit, I've got to go. Please tell Cassidy that I love her for me," she implored.

"You bet, consider it done," I said with conviction.

"Thanks Kate, I'm glad we met," she stated warmly.

When visiting hours ended at eight, I bade both girls good night but on the lonely drive to my home, I kept thing about Valerie and her "girl next door" pretty looks. 

Like me, Valerie appeared to be a single mom. She wore no wedding ring and no mention of a father or husband. 

For the remainder of our daughters hospital stay, I became more and more infatuated with Valerie. Her blue jeans looked molded to her body and despite the fact she was average height, she looked tall and lanky. 

On one occasion, Valerie wore a sleeveless top and I marveled at the definition in her arms. From her wrist to her shoulder, hard muscle clearly showed through her almost translucent skin. She caught me looking several times and just smiled. 

Valerie was very friendly towards me but there was toughness about her, a kind of "don't fuck with me" attitude. It carried over to the way she walked with a self assured strut. 

"Can't touch this!" It communicated subliminally. 

When Valerie spoke to me, she looked directly into my eyes and it had a way of commanding my attention. Her speech was clear, concise with a little smoky character and belied some type of formal education; in other words, she was no dumb blonde, far from it.

Sometimes, it was hard for me to concentrate on her voice because I would be admiring her pretty facial features; deep blue eyes, creamy pale skin, short golden blonde hair that exquisitely framed her face and very sensuous mouth. 

For the last eight years, I'd worked in a high profile area of a major east coast bank and met significant amounts of people. But, quite honestly, no one captured my imagination like Valerie.

Alan, my ex, visited in the evenings and stayed until we were practically thrown out. In spite of the divorce, he and Alana had a very close father/daughter relationship. But, it was difficult for me to see him especially since our final divorce papers were imminent.  

While Alan and Alana spent time together, I would sit with Cassidy and keep her company. She was an utterly charming little girl with the sweetest nature. When we chatted, she spoke mostly about her mother and it was readily apparent that she adored Valerie. 

The day before Cassidy was scheduled for discharge, I received the official documents ending my marriage. It saddened me to think that it was over but I knew with complete certainty that it was the right move. 

As I drove to the hospital the following morning, I was feeling depressed about the divorce and the fact it might very well be my last hours with Valerie.

When the nurse took the girls for their final therapy session, Valerie and I went to a small coffee shop across from the hospital. 

"Feeling blue?" she asked my sad eyed face.

"My divorce was finalized yesterday and I'm still in a bit of a shock," I said with weariness and tears filled my eyes.

"My condolences," she stated very kindly.

"I don't know why I'm reacting this way because my marriage was a mistake from the beginning," I confessed readily.

"Then, why did you get married?" she asked curiously and it was the type of question I would have asked.

"It's a long story but, I feel comfortable telling you because...I...you've been very kind to me the past few days," I spoke with veracity. 

Valerie smiled at me in such a winning way that it made my heart beat faster.

"I met Alan, my ex husband, in my senior year of college. He was kinda cute and we dated a few times but I had no romantic feelings for him at all. 

One afternoon in my dorm room, Alan told me he was in love with me. I said I was flattered but I had a boyfriend back home. For weeks, he pestered me with questions trying to get me to reveal who that person was. Why it was important to him, I'll never know. 

One night we went bar hopping and by midnight, I was very drunk and sprawled out on his bed. Alan's persistence in wanting to know who my mystery man was had reached my boiling point. I told him my steady was a college football player with a great body and personality,

'He's every girls dream guy,' I waxed poetically but in a very boozy voice. 

Alan turned green with envy. I mean, he was so jealous that his body was shaking." I said with a fair amount of pride.

"Where you in love with the guy back home?" she asked probingly.

"That's just it, there wasn't another guy. I made it up because I didn't want him to get any ideas that he had more than a snowballs chance in hell with me," I stated firmly. 

Valerie's eyes lit up with delight.

"Ooh, you little devil!" she exclaimed. 

"Alan wanted me to leave but in my condition, I wasn't going anywhere. I teased him and told him I'd pretend he was my studly football player boyfriend but the alcohol made me horny as heck. One thing led to another and I not only lost my virginity at the advanced age of twenty one but got myself knocked up," I articulated sadly.

Valerie gazed at me with sympathy.

"Alan was a decent guy and proposed when he found out that I was with child. Rather than face my parent's, I accepted and we tied the knot at a small civil ceremony. Alana or Alan with an extra 'A', was born and we lived happily ever after. 

But, our marriage was no fairy tale; he loved me but I didn't love him. He wanted to have a lot of sex and I didn't want to have any. I refused to go to counseling, threw myself into my job and taking care of Alana. After five very turbulent years, he moved out.

"I blamed myself for the debacle because Alan would have made a fine husband for someone else. We procrastinated for a year before we went to the arbitrator. Cleanly and efficiently the property settlement and child custody were ironed out.

Alan was a good provider and he's an excellent father to Alana. He takes his parental responsibility seriously and visited her every night this week. For that, I'm very grateful to him but between us, it just wasn't meant..." I stated with a depressed air and the tears reappeared preventing me from finishing.

Valerie placed her hand over my wrist and gave a sympathetic squeeze. While I gazed into her face, full of empathy for me, I revealed one of my innermost feelings to her.   

"A month ago I celebrated my thirtieth birthday and I realized that I've never been in love, you know, romantic love. The kind that you read about that's supposed to curl your toes, make your heart beat faster, all that," I said despondently.

Valerie's hand was still on my wrist and the sensation of warmth was almost seductive. I wanted to say more but it was late. 

We hurried back to the hospital and found our daughters back in their room. Cassidy had changed to her street clothes and was waiting patiently. 

"Mommy, can I play at Alana's house sometime; please mommy?" she asked so endearingly that it melted my heart.

"Sure, when she feels better," Valerie answered and looked at me.

"You bet, maybe next Saturday?" I asked hopefully.

Our seven year old daughters had bonded as friends. Valerie and I exchanged cell numbers and email addresses with the understanding that email was the best way to communicate with her.

In a couple of days, I was dying to see Valerie again. I missed her. My daughter Alana wanted Cassidy to spend the next Saturday with us and I waited until Monday to email the invitation.

As an activity, I suggested going to a farm in Lancaster County where "pick your own strawberries" season had begun. I surprised myself by ended the message, "Fondly, Kate."  

Valerie replied that it sounded like great fun but she had to be back no later than three because of her work schedule. 

Saturday morning both Alana and I impatiently waited for their arrival. When a red Toyota Camry pulled into the driveway, Alana yelled,

"Hooray, she's here," excitedly. 

Silently, I echoed the same sentiment. 

Everyone piled into my Lexus SUV and off we went. With baskets in hand, we chose a spot among the rows and knelt to retrieve the luscious fruit. Valerie was in front of me and I inwardly sighed when she bent over. She was wearing tight jeans that showcased a very sexy pair of legs and ass. 

"What's wrong with me? I mentally chastised myself but another question kept surfacing,

"Why am I attracted to her?" 

In about an hour we had enough fruit to feed a small army. The girls had a great time giggling and laughing but they were dirty from scrambling among the rows.

While Valerie helped me wash the strawberries, our daughters were sent to the shower. They emerged talking quietly among themselves conspiratorially.

"Mommy, is it ok if Cassidy stays with me while her mommy's at work?" Alana asked with pleading eyes.

I looked at Valerie, who had a smirk on her face. 

"Can I mommy? Please? Cassidy begged in the most adorable fashion. 

Valerie rolled her eyes but she was smiling the entire time. Her hour of departure had come and I walked with her to the car.

"Thanks Kate, you're a real friend," she said with fondness and put her hand around my back pulling me forward and touched her cheek to mine. 

The sensation was off the charts and I felt a little lightheaded. I was tongue tied and kept smiling until she drove away. Involuntarily, my hand touched that side of my face.

"Wow!" I thought to myself. 

With pizza the consensus for dinner, the girls activity lessened until they both were yawning. Finally, they were in bed and I could relax with a book I'd been reading. 

After a couple of chapters, I nodded off but was awakened by what sounded like muffled crying. When I opened Alana's bedroom door, Cassidy was sitting up sniffling as Alana snored contentedly next to her. 




Valerie



"What's the matter sweetheart?" I asked with a parents' concern.

"I miss my mommy," she said tearfully. 

"Oh sweetheart, she'll be here in few hours," I said with compassion and picked her up.

Cassidy put her arms around my neck and cried softly on my shoulder. I carried her to my bedroom and sat in an old oak rocker that I used on many a night to soothe Alana. As I cradled her in my arms, I remembered the song that my sister Deidre would softly sing to me when I woke from a bad dream.

"You are my sunshine My only sunshine. You make me happy When skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, How much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away"

As I gently rocked Cassidy, I trilled the lyrics. It was the only stanza I could remember and I repeated it slowly over and over. Gradually, she calmed down and a peaceful sleep overtook her. I looked down at her nestled in my arms and smiled when I saw how closely she resembled Valerie. 

"You're gonna be real heartbreaker when you grow up; just like your mother," I thought admiringly.

When I heard the back door open, I realized that I had fallen asleep in the rocker holding Cassidy. Valerie's head appeared in the doorway and she smiled affectionately.

"Any trouble?" she asked in loud whisper.

"No, she missed you," I answered and gave the slumbering child to her.

"Thank you," she said with gratitude.

"You look tired, stay the night," I invited in a very quiet voice.

Valerie looked at me curiously but nodded her head in acceptance. After she left Cassidy in Alana's room, she sat wearily in the easy chair. I made us both a cup of herbal tea and without realizing it, was humming the song that I sang to Cassidy.

"That sounds very familiar," she said curiously.

Quietly, I sang the verse I knew and ended with tears in my eyes. 

"Sorry, but it reminds me of my sister Deidre," I said reaching for a tissue. 

Valerie covered my hand with hers in sympathy and the warmth that it imparted seemed to reach every part of my body. 

In spite of our different schedules, we had a genuine friendship and were constantly in contact with each other. We exchanged frequent emails and I found it an easier way to communicate.

Every time I saw Valerie, my attraction seemed to grow a little stronger. I thought about her a lot and would wonder what she was doing. 

When we were with the children, we had fun and laughter would fill the air. Sometimes, I caught Valerie looking at me and while it surprised me, I was thrilled that she showed an interest in me. 

We shared parenting tips. Our daughters were required to carry an inhaler and knowing the problems that might arise with one of them, was a relief if one our kids visited the other.   

On the weekends when Alana was at her dad's, I started hanging out with Valerie on Sunday's. We went to brunch, the museums, shopped for our kids or her favorite, Atlantic City. She loved to play the slots but only the nickel machines.

"I work too hard for my money to throw it away," was her motto.

Over time, I recognized that Valerie possessed a real sweetness underneath her mildly tough exterior. She had been deeply hurt sometime during her life; I sensed it without being conscious of what the circumstances were. 

Once I got past that defense mechanism, I discerned that she had a good heart, a tender heart, a loving heart. 

I saw an individual who spoke her mind and was nobody's fool. But, Valerie was also a caring, compassionate, kind, thoughtful and gentle person. When I looked at her pretty smiling face, I was grateful that she was my friend.  

But, Valerie had a quick temper and I saw flashes of it on occasion. I guess it went hand in hand with her stubbornness and I shied away from anything that might set her off. 

There were feelings growing inside me that baffled me. Some of them I had no point of reference for because I had never experienced anything like them. There was one constant that I was certain of; I wanted to be in her company as much as possible.  

When the heat of summer arrived, the girls were clambering to go to the beach. The very thought of seeing Valerie in a swim suit or bikini had my loins buzzing like a bumblebee in flight. 

My Lexus was packed with all the necessities as we sped toward the Jersey shore on the Atlantic City Expressway. Cassidy was teaching Alana a Beach Boys song and in no time we were all singing "Surfing USA."

Valerie was wearing a cute T shirt and shorts over her bathing suit. 

"Girl's got great legs," I murmured admiringly. 

However, I noticed that whenever we were with our daughters, Valerie dressed conservatively and when it was just the two of us more provocatively. 

The first order of business when we arrived was applying sunscreen to the very pale skin of our daughters. We planted our chairs and umbrella close to the water and watched the kids play and splash in the surf. 

Valerie's one piece fit her like a glove and my imagination ran wild picturing her in a bikini.   

In mid afternoon, we went for a walk along the shoreline because the girls wanted to look for shells. Valerie put on a baseball cap to shield her face from the sun and she looked like a model from the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated. 

Valerie was getting a lot of stares but she was either oblivious or just plain ignored them. 

"With your body, I'd wear a bikini," I said as a compliment. 

Valerie looked contemplative for a minute.

"I don't like to draw attention to myself when I'm with Cassidy," she said moodily.

"But Valerie, you're very pretty and people are going to look at you," I stated knowingly.

Valerie stopped walking and stared at me for a moment.

"Are you trying to butter me up?" she asked with a broad grin. 

"No, I'm just stating a fact..." I answered weakly.

"I want to know what you think?" she asked demandingly and really put me on the spot.

"I...ah...think...yeah, you're very pretty..." I mumbled, afraid to look at her.

Valerie put her arm around my waist and gazed at me with a wide, happy grin.

"Thanks, you're a dear friend," she said contentedly. 

We were walking to the beach chairs when Cassidy ran toward her mother.

"Mommy, I have to go...to the bathroom," she said with an urgent face. 

The poor child was cross legged and holding herself.

"Go in the ocean, sweetie," Valerie suggested kindly.

"I can't mommy, I tried too..." Cassidy said tremulously. 

"Ok, my precious girl," Valerie said with compassion and scooped up her daughter. 

As Valerie walked to the rest room, cradling her daughter, she smiled and kissed Cassidy's adorable face happily. I couldn't hear them but it was obvious that Cassidy was giggling as her mother spoke with an exaggerated expression. 

The tenderness and love between Valerie and her daughter had tears flowing down my face. When they returned my eyes were still leaking.

"Hey, are you crying?" Valerie asked perplexed. 

"Oh, not really," I answered lamely.

"You could've fooled me," she stated and handed me a tissue.

My tears needed an explanation and honesty was the best policy.

"When I saw you holding Cassidy and the...bond you have..." I blubbered.

It was as though time stood still as Valerie looked at me with affection.

"You're the same way with Alana," she stated with moisture in her blue eyes. 

Just then the girls ran under the umbrella giggling and smiling. 

"We're hungry," they broadcast simultaneously. 

At the amusement pier, Cassidy and Alana went on ride after ride as Valerie and I smiled and waved with enthusiasm. While the girls were on the "Wild Mouse" I was feeling introspective. 

"Did you ever wake up one day and think, 'how did I get here?' and I mean really ponder why," I asked in a subdued tone.

"Yeah, a few too many times," she answered with resignation.

"But, when I look at Alana's and Cassidy's dear sweet faces, it all makes sense to me," I said wistfully and waved at the passing girls for the umpteenth time. 

"Why Kate, you're getting all philosophical on me. But, yes, I know exactly what you mean; it gives me a sense of purpose," she related with melancholy.

We stood silently until the girls exited the ride and broad smiles returned to our faces. A bucket of warm Johnson's caramel corn and Kohr Bros. ice cream cones rounded out our evening. 

Two very tired little girls fell asleep against each other as we sat on a bench facing the ocean. It was time to leave. When I got in the drivers seat, a huge yawn escaped my mouth.

"Kate, let me drive, I'm wide awake," she offered sincerely.

As I sat in the passenger seat, I gazed with wonder at Valerie, illuminated in the glow from the street lights. 

Our relationship turned a sharp corner one weekend when Alana was at her dad's and Cassidy at her grandfathers'. It was a cool and rainy afternoon and I prepared an early supper of salmon and salad. 

"You like to cook," Valerie said with a smile. 

"Yeah, but don't ask me why because I didn't learn it at home," I admitted soberly. 

We sat at the kitchen table and ate in uncharacteristic silence. Valerie seemed preoccupied and had a solemn look on her face. 

"A penny for your thoughts?" I asked quietly trying to break the ice.

"I was just thinking about a close relative," she said solemnly.

Valerie rarely talked about her family and I knew very little about her. I kept quiet because I knew if she didn't want to talk about it; no amount of coaxing on my part would persuade her. She had that stubborn streak but then; so did I. 

"Kate; is your mom still alive?" she asked inquisitively.

"Yeah, she lives in Ardmore," I replied in an even voice.

"Do you see her much?" she asked with a kind of pained look.

"Not really, mostly at holidays," I answered truthfully.

"Today's my mom's birthday," she stated sadly.

"Oh; will you see her later today?" I inquired.

"Nah, she died when I was sixteen," she replied sorrowfully.

"Oh Valerie, I'm so sorry," I said with genuine feeling and touched my hand to hers.

"You know Kate, I can't help but think how different my life might have been if she had lived," she spoke softly.

"In what way?" I asked with my curiosity practically killing me. 

Valerie sighed very deeply.

"I wasn't very close to my mom but I loved her. Actually, I'm closer to my father and brother and I want you to meet them someday, she said firmly.

I acknowledged her request with a nod of my head.  

"Before my mom died, I was living the typical suburban life. I was a good student in school and my grades were excellent. Because I was considered a talented gymnast, I had a shot at a college scholarship.  

I had plans to attend college and get a degree in sports medicine. But, that all ended when a truck ran a red light and plowed into the side of my mother's car. She died on the way to the hospital from massive internal injuries," she said with sorrow. 

I gazed into her wet eyes and for the first time saw a vulnerability that moved me. 

"Turns out the bastard driving the truck was under the influence when he hit her and was three times over the legal limit. The rotten son of a bitch got six years for vehicular manslaughter. Six lousy years; with good behavior he would be paroled in three.  

My entire life was turned upside down. I was incapable of handling the grief and I got very angry. In the span of a few weeks, I became one of the most rebellious teenagers on the planet," she uttered with deep regret. 

I took Valerie's hands in mine and held them. 

My dad and brother tried to help me cope with her death. We attended grief counseling sessions and group therapy sessions but I had gone off the deep end. I started hanging out with the wrong crowd and dabbled in drugs, mostly pot and coke. 

They couldn't leave any money lying around because I would take it and buy coke. I was kicked off the gymnastics team for missing too many practice sessions. My grades dropped and so did my chances for attending a decent college but I managed to graduate high school," she said in a remorseful voice.

The pain and hurt in Valerie's face made my heart reach out to her. 

"I refused to get a job and was a total party animal. I used my room at home as a crash pad and avoided my dad and brother. When I look back, I don't know how they put up with my nonsense. 

I was a complete societal misfit and I was damn lucky I never got arrested for possession. This went on until my twentieth birthday. During a party at my friend Angie's house, I got so wasted that I was literally like a rag doll. 

I had a thing for Angie but she was with her boyfriend Carmen. Anyway, the three of us wind up in her bedroom and the deal was if I wanted to do Angie, I had to do her boyfriend. 

I figured what the hell, why not. When I finished with Angie, he screwed me but I was so high from the drugs and booze that I don't remember feeling anything. It was the first and last time I fucked a guy," she pronounced with self contempt.

Valerie could see the shock registered on my face but she kept on going.

"It took a few days but when the haze in my head finally cleared, I remembered what happened. My first inclination was to go and kill Carmen and Angie but instead I bought a pregnancy test and I think you know what the result was. 

My family is Roman Catholic and in spite of the fact I hadn't been inside a church in years, I knew in my heart I would never get an abortion. 

I was twenty years old, pregnant, no job and practically homeless. I swore off all drugs and alcohol; totally cleaned up my act. I talked to my father, hoping he wouldn't kick my worthless ass out in the street.

Both my dad and brother were very supportive. I managed to stay out of trouble and when Cassidy was born, I had some very tough decisions to make. 

I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the Carmen, Cassidy's father. But, I needn't have worried because when she was one year old, the stupid bastard got himself killed for non payment of a sizable drug debt. I know it sounds pretty callous but... 

My friend Tasha helped me find work as a dancer and I rented an apartment near my dad's. Both he and my brother babysat Cassidy when I worked and still do," she articulated poignantly.   

I was visibly moved by her story and tears flowed down my cheeks. 

"Kate, I think of you as one of my dearest friends. I've trusted you with the welfare of my daughter and on every occasion you've treated her like one of your own. She's my most precious possession and I'm very grateful to you," she stated expressively.

"Thank you," I mumbled with in a crying voice. 

Abruptly, I thought back to what she said about her friend Angie and I'm sure I had a bewildered look on my face.

"You mentioned having a thing for your friend Angie and doing her. You mean you had sex with her?" I asked like a total numbskull.

"Well yeah, what did you think I meant?" she asked in a slightly raised voice. 

I must have had a totally befuddled look on my face.

"Kate, I'm gay. I prefer women," she stated with some annoyance. 

Until that very moment I had absolutely no clue as to Valerie's sexual orientation.

"But, you...don't...look like..." I faltered.

"Because, I don't look butch?" she asked with an elevated tone. 

"Ah...yeah...I guess so," I stuttered nervously. 

"Not all lesbians are butch; are you that naïve?" she asked with more anger. 

"Please don't yell at me," I pleaded with a quivering lower lip.

Valerie's face softened and she looked at me with curiosity.

"You were really clueless about this, weren't you?" she expressed with sympathy.

"Yeah, I...had no idea...but it makes no difference to me. You said I was your one of your dearest friends but I think of you...as...my best friend. I don't want that to change," I implored in a blubbering voice and the tears tumbled down my cheeks.  

Valerie's gazed at me with understanding.    

"If this doesn't beat all hell, you are something special after all. I was hoping...I guess that makes me naïve too," she said humbly. 

I knew right then and there that I wanted to be more than just friends with Valerie. A powerful urge, a sexual urge was manifesting itself for the first time. 

That same night, I tossed and turned in bed as thoughts about her had reached the,  "I wonder what she looks like naked," boiling point in my head.

I got so damned aroused that I fingered myself with fantasies of Valerie's unclothed body running rampant in my head. That was a first for me but instead of feeling some self loathing, I instinctively knew that the strange feelings and emotions taking precedence in my heart were real. 

Then, it all started to gel in my head, the affectionate glances between us, the contentment and joy of her company, the strong feelings that resounded throughout my body. I shuddered with fear as I realized that I was romantically interested.

Valerie's revelation drew us closer together and although I didn't realize it at the time, love was blossoming. It was as though an invisible barrier had dropped between us and I longed to see her, to talk to her, hear her speak and gaze into her eyes. 

Sometimes, I emailed more than was necessary but seeing her words on the computer lifted my spirits. I was falling in love for the first time. By late spring, my compelling physical desire for Valerie required frequent masturbation. 

In the early evening one Saturday night, I was paying some bills and reviewing some personal paper work when I ran across a slip of paper with Valerie's name, cell phone and work phone on it. 

Although, those numbers were already committed to my cell phone memory, seeing them written on paper was arousing my curiosity.  

In all that time, Valerie never mentioned where she worked only that it was second shift and she was a dancer. I stared at the phone number written on the note and my curiosity was killing me.

"Leave well enough alone," my brain scolded with wisdom. 

I could have easily called the number and hung up but since I was seated before my computer, I did a cross reference search on line and a place name came up that surprised me. 

"Diamond Jim's Gentlemen's Club," I whispered to myself and remembered overhearing some of my male colleagues at the bank talk about it.

"Oh my god, it's a strip club," I said out loud.

But, in the back of my mind, I'd had my suspicions when Valerie told me she was a dancer. She rented a very nice condo, wore stylish clothes, paid cash for everything, I could think of dozens more examples.  

In our fair city, the only place that you would find women dancing in the evenings was at the establishments that catered to men. I was dying to see Valerie nude or at least semi nude. The most unclothed I could recall was last summer when she wore cute little tops, shorts and a one piece bathing suit that showed off her awesome body.    

Something overwhelming, a compulsion, a desperate need to satisfy my curiosity took hold of me. I wanted to see her dance and if my speculation was correct, she'd be scantily clad.  

Before I was even aware of my actions, I was driving downtown toward the waterfront in the direction of the Diamond Jim's. It was a brightly lit place with neon signs amid old warehouses and factories.

The parking lot was full and I waited scrunched down in my seat until I saw someone pull out of a space. I stopped in front of the entrance door plastered with signs that listed the rules for patrons. 

"Scuse me but are you in line," a male voice asked me from behind. 

I must have jumped ten feet.

"Er...no," I said weakly and stepped out of his way.

When he opened the door, I saw a very large and muscular young man behind a small counter taking the cover charge fee of ten dollars.





Valerie



I was having a furious internal debate with myself about my actions. Valerie and I were best friends and I had no right interfering in her life. But, I saw myself pull the door open and walk in. The noise was almost deafening as rock music filled the air.


"Ten dollars," the man behind the counter asked but when he looked up, he smiled at me.

"Does Valerie work here?" I asked timidly in a loud voice.

He looked puzzled for a moment.

"Oh, you mean Shannon, that's her stage name. I think she just started her set, yeah, she just went on stage," he said looking behind him. 

I prayed to God that no one would recognize me. My brain was on auto pilot and I handed the bouncer a ten. He leaned towards me and spoke loudly in my ear.

"Go to the end of the bar at the stage entrance for a seat. It's away from the crowd and more private," he shouted with a friendly wink.

"How long does a set last," I yelled. 

"Usually three songs," he yelled back.

The main room was tightly packed with men along the sides of a long "U" shaped bar. They were paying strict attention to a sexy woman holding onto a brass pole fixed to the stage. The stage occupied the area in the center of the bar with a wide path acting as a buffer between the dancers and patrons. 

"Dear God, it's Valerie, I mumbled to myself with embarrassment.

I tried not to look and stayed in the shadows until I found an empty spot at the far end away from the crowd just as the bouncer advised. A Metallica song reverberated throughout the room and I was hoping that Valerie wouldn't notice me right away.

Several men threw paper money toward Valerie and like a spectator at an auto accident; I couldn't help myself and looked. She was clad only in a tiny "G" string and ridiculously high platform shoes. With her hands on the pole, she undulated her body facing the cheering men and sometimes away. I was mesmerized.

"Great butt," I marveled quietly and realized that all her body parts looked breathtaking.  

Several times Valerie reached from the stage to the bar for a bill that a patron was offering. When she had it firmly in her grasp, she folded it and placed it under the side of her "G" string then gave them a dazzling smile.

Valerie's very pretty "girl next door" looks were enhanced by well applied make up and was one of her best features. However, what intrigued me the most was her exquisite hardbody. 

As Valerie moved in a long fluid motion with her hands above her and behind grasping the pole, I marveled at her very flat belly with the outline of a six pack. The dramatic overhead illumination highlighted the taut muscle that lie just underneath her shimmering pale white skin. Her small but round breasts rode high on her chest with long pink nipples and, her legs and ass had a beautifully symmetrical, sculpted look. 

Towards the end of her set, Valerie faced the pole and reached up holding it at the very top. Quickly, she brought her legs up to a sitting position then wrapped her ankles where her hands had been and dropped head first toward the stage. Then, she reversed the process. It was a remarkable display of athleticism.

Valerie finished her routine stark naked to the wild cheers from the crowd and walked off the stage holding her "G" string and money. She waved over her shoulder with her free hand in response to the applause and gradually her eyes looked in my direction. The stunned look on her face was worth a thousand words. 

"What are you doing here?" she asked in harsh whisper.

"I came to see you," I answered dejectedly and cast my gaze downward at the sight of her nude body. 

"I'm working," she hissed and pulled me past the curtain toward the dressing room.   

"I wanted to see you dance," I said very sheepishly with my eyes on the floor. 

Valerie was madder than a wet hen. I felt like a child in her presence and tears coursed down my cheeks. 

"Jesus Kate, don't cry," she demanded without any sympathy.

Several girls in flamboyant outfits very similar to Fredericks of Hollywood type stuff were sitting in front of brightly lit mirrors applying make up. 

"Yo Val? Who's your cute friend? I heard someone ask with a thick Philly accent.

"This is Kate," she replied wearily.

I looked up and away from Valerie at three very attractive women smiling at me; a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. 

"Hi," I said barely above a whisper.

"Why are you crying?" the girl with the Philly accent asked very kindly.

"She's crying because I yelled at her for coming here to see me," Valerie said angrily.

"She came here to see you? Ah, that's so sweet of her," the redhead stated with a great deal of sentimentality. 

Her kind words turned my tear duct faucet on and my eyes erupted anew. Out of the corner of a wet eye, I saw Valerie putting her street clothes on.

"Shit, I wish my girlfriend would come and see me work a few times. I'd give her a free lap dance just to keep her happy," the brunette declared.

The blonde haired girl with the Philly accent brought me some tissues with a look of compassion on her face. 

"Don't be upset honey, Val can be testy sometimes," she stated kindly.

"Hey Val, can I give your girlfriend a lap dance. It'll cheer her up, guaranteed!" the brunette exclaimed with a laugh.

Suddenly, I felt Valerie's vise like grip on my wrist and firmly she guided me to the rear exit door. 

"Goodbye pretty Kate, come back and see us again," the Philly blonde girl announced nicely.

"Bye Kate, if you get tired of Val; look me up," the redhead stated.

"Bye," I croaked tearfully as I went through the door. 

With my arms folded in front, I kept my gaze fixed on the ground. I could feel the heat of Valerie's scowling face on me and I started crying harder. 

"I'm sorry Valerie, I really am," I sobbed. 

Valerie took me in her arms and I bawled my head off on her shoulder. 

"It's ok, I'm not mad anymore," she said gently. 

Valerie held me firmly against her body and kissed my wet cheeks a few times trying her best to comfort me. It was the first time I experienced her full embrace and I wanted to stay there forever. 

It took me awhile but I got myself under control. When I looked at Valerie's face, her eyes were moist. 

"Feel better?" she asked softly.

Still enveloped in her soothing arms, I nodded my head. 

"I'll see you as soon as I get done work; ok?" she asked sweetly. 

"Uh huh," I answered quietly. 

Valerie gave me another tight squeeze and as I slowly walked away, I heard her open the exit door.

"Kate's a sweetheart, Val..." I heard the redhead say before the door shut.

As I drove home, practically in a state of shock, the image of Valerie's gorgeous nude body was permanently burned into my memory and her hugs outside the club confirmed my physical desire for her.

It was half past twelve when I heard someone knocking. I opened the door and Valerie was glaring at me 

"How did you find out?" she asked accusingly and threw her purse on the sofa.

Valerie's compassionate attitude outside Diamond Jim's had reverted back to anger. 

"It's very easy to cross reference phone numbers on line," I said in a matter of fact way.

"Why Kate? Why did you go there? What did you expect to find?" she stated in a tired but irate voice. 

"I expected to find you. You told me you were a dancer and I wanted to see you dance," I said nervously but sincerely. 

"You wanted to see me dance even though you knew it was strip club?" she asked with skepticism.

"Yes...Valerie....I, ah..." and the tears were back for an encore. 

"You really wanted to see me dance in my birthday suit?" she asked with warmth.

"Yes...Valerie...I couldn't take my eyes off of you," I blubbered. 

Valerie's entire demeanor changed. For the second time that night, she pulled my body against hers in an unyielding embrace and I cried on her shoulder. 

"It feels so good when you hold me," I bawled in her ear.

"I'm sorry Kate, I thought you were going to accuse me or condemn me because of the way I earn my living," she said apologetically.

I held on to Valerie, not wanting to let go.  

"So, you liked my performance?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, I did...and..." I stammered.

Valerie's face broke out in smile.

"Did you get turned on watching me?" she asked with intrigue, probably knowing full well that I did.

The sight of Valerie during her routine soaked my panties and I diddled myself as soon as I got home. 

"Yeah, it was very erotic," I said honestly.

Valerie tenderly embraced me.

"I'm flattered, very flattered," she said in the sweetest voice.

Valerie smiled with a romantic look in her eyes as though it was the highest compliment I could pay her. 

"Tell me, do you think I have a nice body?" she asked innocently but I believe she already knew the answer.

"Nice? You have a beautiful body, a great body," I gushed like a school girl enthusiastically. 

Valerie gazed at me affectionately and my heart started racing. Slowly her head was moving toward mine.

"My God, she's going to kiss me," my mind screamed with want.

When Valerie's lips met mine, every part of me thrilled from her touch. After a few modest kisses, she regarded me with a loving look in her eyes and my heart throbbed with emotion.

How could I possibly admit to Valerie and even myself that I was falling for her, hard. I started shaking.

"Valerie, I...ah..." I faltered and looked into her blue eyes.

"You're falling in love with me, is that what you're trying to say?" she asked me very soothingly with a look of yearning. 

"Yes," I sighed heavily with acceptance of the truth.

If and when our relationship reached the next level, there was no doubt in my mind that Valerie would be the dominant one. She knew more about people and emotions than I could ever hope to amass.  

"For all your knowledge Kate, you can be very naïve about some things, especially matters of the heart," she stated confidently.

Valerie's words sounded like a rebuke and tears came to my eyes. When she tried to embrace me, I pushed her away. When she tried again, I pushed even harder and before I knew it we were on the floor in a full blown wrestling match. It didn't last long.

Valerie's strong arms flipped me on my back as though I weighed nothing. Quickly, she sat on my stomach and bounced up and down a few times, knocking all the wind out of me. My attempts to break free were ineffective and amused her 

"There, that's better," she purred like a jungle cat and gazed at me with a predatory look.

For a few minutes, Valerie looked thoughtful. With tenderness, she very gently stroked my hair and caressed my face affectionately.

"I've already fallen for you, Kate," she said very lovingly with enormous affection in her eyes. 

My entire body resonated with feelings for her. 

Valerie's deep blue eyes bored into my soul and with amazing nimbleness, she sprang to her feet and extended her hand to me. When I reached up and clasped it to mine, she pulled me upright as though I was weightless. Gently, she enveloped me in her steely arms and kissed me with raw enthusiasm. 

"Oh...umm...ooh...umm..." I moaned into her mouth.

"Do you want me?" she asked sweetly with a wide smile.

"Oh God Valerie, please don't make me beg," I groaned as my pussy creamed uncontrollably. 

"Say it," she commanded in a very sexy voice.

"Yes, oh yes, I want you!" I cried out. 

Valerie carried me to the shower and removed my clothes, swiftly and erotically. I felt embarrassed because my body was nothing like hers and she saw the look in my eyes. 

"Why the long face?" she asked nicely.

"I...ah...don't have a very good body," I said crestfallen and my eyes filled with tears.

"You have a lovely body, it's slender and very appealing," she said with sincerity.

Valerie wiped a few of my tears away and taking my hand led me into the large glass enclosed shower. The sight of her naked body was jarring because it looked like a sculptor's vision. When she held me close in her tender embrace I sighed with enormous satisfaction. 

I wanted to please Valerie, give her pleasure and hear her scream my name. With all the skill and determination I could muster, I gingerly washed Valerie's body using my hands and some scented soap. The sensation of her skin and hard muscle under my fingers was intensely erotic and I moaned the entire time. 

When my hands cupped Valerie's breasts, I marveled at the firmness but her nipples were a delight and I tweaked them with tenderness. My fingers stroked the crinkled pink ends until they hardened into tight cylinders and I lowered my mouth to one with a hunger that inflamed my soul. 

With the warm water cascading over us, I drew a turgid bud between my lips and gently suckled. 

Dear God, it was intoxicating! 

"What have I been missing all these years," I exulted silently as my lips tugged at the sensitive flesh of her nipple with a contentment that surprised me. 

With continued craving, I sucked harder and whipped my tongue over the end to her passion filled groans. 

"Oh...Ooh...oh Kate...oh...umm..." she brayed her approval. 

Involuntarily, my hand dropped between Valerie's legs and I ran a finger up her slick crease. I repeated the process until I felt a swelled nub peak from under its hood and ended every stroke with a quick flick over her clit. 

With my mouth firmly attached to a tit and fingers working Valerie's pussy into a soaked mess, I brought her off in my amateurish way but it was the best I could do at the time. 

Valerie wailed and her body visibly stiffened with each contraction. As the sensations subsided, she slumped against me and it took all my strength to hold her up. But, my arms failed and we slid to the floor of the shower in a heap with her on top of me. 

"Valerie...I...can't breathe..." I gasped and she rolled off me.

"Hmm, not bad, pretty good actually, she said very pleased and stood up.

Valerie picked me up off the shower floor and cradled me in her arms. As she carried me to the bedroom, she kissed me with passion. Her amazing strength and agility reminded me of an Amazon Warrior. I was a little shorter in stature yet she handled me effortlessly. 

As Valerie tenderly dried my naked body, I stared with curiosity at her pussy with the closely trimmed little triangle of hair above her slit. I'd never thought that girls' privates could look attractive or appealing but hers did. An overpowering desire to lick her, to taste her came over me and I gazed at her sex hungrily.

"You're eager for the beaver," she purred with amusement and pulled me effortlessly on top of her prone body.

Valerie kissed me with intense desire and I humped my sex against her muscular thigh. After an especially long and passionate kiss, I was breathless.

"Whew," I panted rapidly as new and powerful feelings coursed throughout my body. 

Valerie looked like a break dancer when she whirled her legs so that her crotch was in front of my face and mine to hers. I was hungry for my first pussy and was impatiently pulling her legs apart. 

The heady aroma from her sex was like a drug and I licked the soggy flesh with inexperience but intense need. I felt my thighs being pried apart and her breath on my slit. I was hairy, unshaven because I had no one in my life that required me to maintain the area.  

"Hmm, nice bush," she growled appreciatively.

Valerie started slowly with light licks and I tried to match her tempo but the faster she went the more I howled and lost my focus on what I was doing.

Cunnilingus was one of my ex husbands favorite activities and I let him perform on me occasionally. I considered him talented until I experienced Valerie's tongue.

The flood of incredible sensations in my body was astonishing. I was almost delirious from the pleasure and cried out, moaned and panted like a wild woman. Her tongue dug into my slit with ferocity and a finger toyed with my butt hole. 

My head was spinning and I was completely lost in a world of pleasure. Unable to perform on Valerie, my head came to rest on her thigh and I moaned, groaned and yelped like bitch in heat. 

"Oh God...Oh Valerie...Oh...Oh Valerie..." I kept repeating as huge breaths and pants escaped my lungs.

The sounds of sucking and slurping filled the room as Valerie's mouth engulfed my entire sex. She attacked my clit with a battery of lightning licks and whips that sent me soaring to another plateau. 

As I gasped for air, I humped Valerie's face with her tongue buried in my pulsating slit, lapping me furiously. Intense feelings and sensations throbbed throughout my entire body and an orgasm of colossal proportions was closing in. 

When the waves hit, they surged through my body with incredible power. Lost in sheer ecstasy, I screamed Valerie's name.

"Oh...Oh...Oh Valerie...Oh Valerie..." I shrieked like a banshee.

Contractions seized my pussy as my body froze and shook. Nothing I previously experienced came remotely close in magnitude. 

As the last remaining sensations slowly drained away, my entire body sagged then collapsed on the bed. I was shaking and drenched with sweat when Valerie pulled me tightly against her. 

I stared at Valerie's face wet with my secretions and she was smiling at me with a look of elation and pride. 

"Oh Valerie...I...oh..." I moaned incapable of completing my thought. 

"Shh...rest for awhile," she said so soothingly.

Enveloped in her tender embrace, I slowly lost consciousness.  

 The following morning I woke to the sight of an empty space in the bed next to me. I instantly felt despondent because I wanted to continue what we had started the previous night. I mistakenly thought Valerie had left until I heard sounds coming from the family room. 

When I walked in, Valerie was clothed only in a pair of panties and performed one handed pushups on the carpet. I gawked at her in disbelief. 

"Forty seven, forty eight, forty nine and fifty," she counted quietly. 

Valerie's body glistened with a light sheen of sweat. She was changing positions to her other arm when she saw me.

"Hey, sleepy head, you're awake," she exclaimed happily.

Valerie sprang to her feet and kissed me sensuously on the lips.

"Gotta do fifty push ups with my left arm, you can watch if you want," she said sweetly. 

I watched with total fascination as she very slowly did fifty pushups and didn't appear to be out of breath. To me it was remarkable display of strength and when she stood up, the subtle coating of sweat enhanced the look of hard muscle underneath her skin. Her body was lean with an extremely well defined musculature yet exquisitely female in appearance.  

"Valerie, how did you get so strong?" I asked practically gushing with admiration.

"I've been doing the same gymnastics routine since I was twelve and working at the club helps a lot too," she stated honestly. 

As Valerie performed some very difficult floor exercises, I felt like a total slug despite that fact I was slender with very little fat on my body. I worked out but well below her level of fitness.

I quietly went to the kitchen and made a fresh pot of coffee. With mug in hand, I went back to my bed and hid. 

"What in the world can she possibly see in me? My body looks deficient compared to hers," where the thoughts and questions that kept running through my mind. 

Valerie popped her head in the room holding a mug of java. 

"Hey, I'm gonna take a quick shower then...hold on cause I'm gonna join ya fer some fun," she hollered in her cowgirl voice. 

With my head still in a quandary, Valerie's freshly washed body flew into bed but I kept my back to her. When she snuggled against me, I stayed immobile until she raised her upper body and looked down at my face.

"What's wrong? You look upset," she asked in a hurt voice.




Valerie



When I turned to look up at Valerie, my eyes were dripping but hers had a wounded look. 

"Kate, please tell me what's bothering you," she pleaded so sweetly that my heart ached.

"Well, I...you see...oh, it's just that..." I wasn't making much sense.

"Are you upset because you had sex with a woman last night?" she asked in a wary voice.      

"Oh no, it was the most amazing sex I've ever had with anyone," I blurted out with passion.

That made Valerie smile very broadly but soon the frown returned.

"So, are you going to tell me?" she asked with more anger in her voice. 

"I just don't understand what you...see in me. You have a great body and mine...well...it's just average," I replied very meekly.

"Why are you selling yourself short? First of all, I'm not attracted to my body type. I like slim, pretty girls that are very feminine and baby, that's you," she declared earnestly.

"Thanks," I said smiling coyly at her. 

"Are you intimidated by me?" she asked with that hurt tone again. 

"Not really, I love your strong body, muscles...and...but I love all of you, the inside and the outside," I proclaimed with yearning. 

"You said that you love me," she cried tearfully.

"I do love you Valerie," I declared and threw my arms around her neck pulling her on top of me. 

Valerie kissed me with unbridled zeal and her tongue invaded my mouth with persistence. My heart throbbed in my chest with intense feelings for her. 

"Umm...umm...ah...," I moaned.

Valerie, while only an inch taller, outweighed me by at least fifteen pounds of solid muscle and the sensation of her hard body on top of me was overwhelmingly erotic. My hands caressed her silky skin from the top of her rock hard butt up to her neck. 

Our deep passionate kisses made by body erupt with craving for Valerie. I kept trying to reach her ass because I wanted to grip it in my hands. She broke a kiss and gazed at me with lust in her eyes. Than scooted her body up so I could grasp her magnificent butt. 

That overpowering hunger to feast on Valerie was back and I yearned to finish what I started last night. She was very perceptive and saw the need in my eyes. As she brought her beautiful body up to a kneeling position over my face, I pulled impatiently on her ass but she kept her hot juicy crease above me.

Slowly, Valerie lowered her dripping pussy to my lips. My tongue flew up and down her soaked folds in search of her tangy secretions. With my hands tightly holding her ass, I devoured her pussy with a desire to please her, totally. 

My tongue caressed her labia with gentleness but urgency and slowly I spread my entire mouth over her sex. 

"Oh...umm...oh god...oh...umm..." she kept moaning.

I lavished her clit with feathery tongue whips. My hunger was relentless and I plowed through her folds again and again with swift but light licks over her now swollen bud. Hot juices dripped into my mouth and I noisily gulped them down my eager throat.

I just couldn't seem to get enough and sucked with maddening desire as my assault on her inflamed clit continued furiously. 

"Oh...oh Kate...oh fuck...goddamn it..." she howled    

Valerie mashed her sopping wet pussy on my lips and rode my tongue like a rodeo star. The sight of her hard body was awe inspiring as the muscles in her arms, shoulders and stomach stood out because of her exertions. Suddenly her thighs imprisoned my head and squeezed so tightly that I was lightheaded. 

Then I heard her scream my name and I was in heaven.

"Oh! Oh! Oh Kate...oh Kate..." she shrieked as her orgasm flowed in waves. 

Valerie fell on her side next to me and her sweaty body was shivering. I threw my arms around her and using all my strength pulled her as close as possible against me. I gently kissed her moist face with intense feelings beating in my heart. 

"So, this is what love feels like," I thought with wonder.

While my entire being rejoiced, I held Valerie's muscular body. My mouth and chin were sticky from her juices and I didn't want to let go of her. I had never experienced such wonderful closeness with anyone.  

"You never had sex with a woman before me?" she asked inquisitively.

"No, you're my first" I answered very shyly. 

Valerie kissed me with passion. 

"Still love me?" she asked hopefully.

"Oh Valerie, I love you so," I cried with emotion and held on to her.

I gazed at her with loving eyes.

"Have you ever been in love?" I asked curiously.

"I guess I wouldn't call it love, more like infatuation," she answered.

"With who?" I asked 

"One of my gymnastics teammates but..." she said wistfully.

Valerie was smiling with an enigmatic look on her face.

"Recently, I fell in love with a very pretty girl, a lot like you, slender like you, sexy like you and just adorable, a real keeper," she said enthusiastically.

Suddenly, I felt very hurt and my eyes welled up.

"Oh, I see," I said with an injured voice and was on the verge of weeping.

"Kate, it's you, don't you know; I'm describing you. I'm in love with you," she exclaimed with tears.

"You love me?" I asked with desire.

"It's been you from the first day at the hospital," she confessed

"Gosh Valerie, I was attracted to you too," I said bawling. 

"I love you Kate," she blubbered.

I looked at Valerie with something akin to adoration in my eyes and kissed her yearningly. All the love and passion that resided in my soul was because of her, only her.

"Am I really a keeper?" I asked with my heart pounding savagely in my chest.

"Yes, oh yes" she said smiling and crying at the same time. 

"Valerie, can I ask you something?" I inquired with a faux petulant look. 

"Yes Kate, ask me anything," she whimpered. 

"Can we make love again? Because...well...I think I need lots of practice," I asked with a sly grin and flung my arms around her neck.

Except for bathroom breaks and some food for sustenance, we never left the bed that glorious day.  

Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe:

The next morning I heard my alarm go off and I realized that it was Monday, a day of work. I gazed at the sleeping figure next to me and kissed Valerie gently on the forehead. So much had happened in the last thirty six hours and I was in seventh heaven.

I staggered into my kitchen and quickly made a pot of coffee. As I sat down to partake of my first cup, I saw a very sleepy Valerie in the doorway.

"Come back to bed Kate," she begged drowsily. 

"No can do, I go to the gym for an hour then it's work time," I said with regret.

"Oh," she said and put her arms around me from behind. 

I rested the back of my head against Valerie and gloried in the wonderful sensation of her embrace. I was literally dying inside because I wanted to spend the day with her but...

"Why won't you stay with me today?" she whined sadly.

"Because I have to work and pick up Alana from after school care," I said sadly.

"I understand Kate, we have our kids to think about, our jobs and..." she expressed with gloom.

I stood up and took Valerie in my arms and looked deep into her blue eyes.

"I love you and I want nothing more than to spend the next week in bed with you but...we have responsibilities," I stated firmly. 

I pulled Valerie's lips to mine and kissed her with stunning ardor. 

"Not even time for a quicky?" she pleaded with soulful eyes.

"Oh my love, I want you too," I cried on her shoulder. 

Valerie carried me up to bed and we made love with passion and heat. 

At work, I accomplished very little as Valerie dominated my thoughts. I checked my work scheduled and decided I could take Wednesday afternoon off if she was free. 

By the time I emailed her, Valerie was already at work. After Alana was in bed, I tried to read a novel that I'd just purchased but when I saw that one of the characters was named Valerie; I threw the book in frustration.

I had fallen asleep in the chair when my cell phone went off. My spirit danced a jig when I saw it was Valerie.

"Miss me," she asked sweetly.

"Oh God, yes!" I declared.

Just hearing her voice and my heart soared like an eagle in flight. We arranged to meet Wednesday afternoon at her condo. On the day of our rendezvous, the morning hours crept along like an old lady in a walker. 

At one, I bade my administrative assistant Laura goodbye and literally ran to the parking garage. Thirty minutes later, I was at Valerie's, knocking on her door. When she opened it, I stared at her with love throbbing in my heart.

When Valerie shut the door, I leapt into her arms and kissed her with deep passion. Soon, clothing went flying in all directions.

"I missed you so much," she panted heavily as I pulled her top up and off.

My hands caressed her breasts and thumbed the nipples.

"Do you still love me Kate?" she moaned 

"Yes, oh God yes, I love you," I growled lustily.

Valerie was pulling my blouse off as I hungrily sucked her nipples. Our mood was interrupted by a ripping noise. In her zeal, Valerie had ripped the seam almost up to my armpit. We both looked at the damage with surprise.

"I can always buy another one," I said very hastily and threw the torn garment on the floor. 

"I love you Kate," she cried with joy. 

An afternoon of lust quenched our appetites for the moment but as the weeks of lover's trysts at her condo or my home progressed, it was evident to me that I wanted more, a lot more. 

I wanted Valerie in my life every day, I wanted to wake up with her in the morning and kiss her goodnight with my arms around her. I wanted to share my life with her and hoped she wanted the same. 

On a Sunday morning when our daughters were with family, I lay next to Valerie and lovingly stroked the silky skin of her back. I was deeply in love with her and was scared about expressing my feelings. But, I knew I had to. 

"Valerie?" I murmured.

"Hmm?" she answered and turned to face me.

Valerie looked down the length of my body with a smile.

"Kate, your body looks more toned, more fit," she said admiringly.

"Thanks," I replied and felt my face redden.

"Think you're stronger than me now?" she asked aggressively but with playfulness and tried to grab my wrists.

"Valerie stop!" I yelled and rolled away from her and jumped out of bed. 

I started running down the hall stark naked and giggling but she tackled me near the top of the stairs and enveloped me in her muscular embrace. Swiftly, she turned me on my back and pinned my arms with her hands; then sat on my belly with an adoring look. Body and soul, I was her prisoner and gazed at her with emotion bursting in my heart. 

Valerie pulled me to my feet and carried me back to bed. With my arms around her neck, I kissed her face lovingly. 

"I love you Valerie, so very much," I whispered with feeling from the depth of my soul.

Clear little tears crept into Valerie's eyes and she started to sing in a very soft voice. 

"You are my sunshine My only sunshine. You make me happy  When skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, How much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away" 

Tears ran in torrents down my face as I held the woman that I loved. 

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I want to share my life with you," I sobbed on her shoulder. 

Valerie gently held my face with her hands and kissed me with fiery passion. 

For rest of the morning, we talked about which one of us should move in with the other. We determined that since I owned my home free and clear, thanks to my divorce settlement, that it was the most logical choice. Then we had the logistics and timing to consider because Cassidy and Alana were in second grade. 

Valerie surprised me when she indicated that she wanted to attend college and earn her sports medicine degree. 

"I've got enough saved for tuition and living expenses," she said with pride. 

I encouraged her to follow her dream with my complete support no matter what.

"The older I get, the less of a future I have in dancing. They want girls primarily from eighteen to twenty five and I'm on the south side of twenty five. I can always dance part time if money becomes an issue," she said with assurance.  

Before we made any final plans, we spoke to our daughter's one on one. When I broached the subject with Alana, she was very excited about having a "sister". Then, she got a very thoughtful look on her face. 

"Mommy, how come I don't have blonde hair like you? Cassidy has blonde hair like her mommy," she asked with endearing innocence. 

From infancy, Alana had dark brown hair just like my family. I didn't know how to fully explain in child's terms and did the next best thing.

"Ask Valerie the next time you see her," I told her with a wink and sure enough she did.

Seeing Valerie stammer through her answer was a side splitting affair for me. 

Eventually we ironed out all the details and with only a few days before move in, we were holding each other close and tenderly kissing in the bed we would soon share together. For some odd reason, I remembered the night I went to see her dance at Diamond Jim's.  

"Valerie, what's a lap dance? I asked curiously. 

"Oh, just what it sounds like. I'd have to demonstrate," she said in a dreamy voice.

"Will you show me sometime?" I asked with want.

"Uh huh," she answered in a tone that suggested that I forget about it.

"Do think the girl with the brunette hair was serious about giving me a lap dance? I mean, she's very attractive and all..." I asked with fake coyness. 

Valerie looked at me with fire in her eyes and taking me by the hand led me to an overstuffed chair and sat me in it.

"Stay right there and don't move!" she barked and ran out of the room. 

When Valerie returned she was made up and wearing her tiny G string. She straddled me in the chair moving her muscular body in synch to a song on the radio. There was minimal contact but it was highly erotic and my pussy was creaming by the time she finished.

"Well? What'd ya think?" she asked in a breathless voice. 

"It was...ah...ok, I guess," I said in a teasing way as I reached up and palmed her nipples. 

"Why you..." she started to say but I pulled her on top of me and kissed her with deep emotion pulsing in my heart.

On moving day, the skies were sunny and blue, a good omen. 

When Jamie, Valerie's brother arrived, she gave him a bear hug. 

"Ouch Val, you squeeze like a boa constrictor," 

"You're such a wimp," she stated disparagingly. 

"Don't take your eyes off of her for a second; dangerous woman," Jamie said mysteriously to me.  "Brother Jamie, you finally got one right; she can't take her eyes off of me because she's madly in love with me," Valerie crowed. 

Jamie gave her a nasty look that dissolved into a grin.

"I'm happy for you Val," he trumpeted and hugged her. 

They were regarding each other with the affection of a brother and sister who love each other.

"If anyone deserves some happiness, it's you," Jamie said with emotion and his eyes welled up. 

"You were always the sentimental type," she tried to say admonishingly with a tear filled gaze.

"Ahem," Jamie uttered and pointed to her eyes. 

By now, I was crying.   

A Sister's Love: 

In autumn, I received an email from my sister Deidre. She was arriving in town to attend the wedding of an old high school friend and wanted to meet me for lunch. I had been putting off telling her about Valerie and this was the perfect opportunity. 

Valerie and I were living together and it was time I told the one person in my family that I deeply cared about.  

From the moment I met her at the restaurant, I could tell by the look in Deidre's eyes that she suspected something was up with me but chose not to ask. That was typical behavior on her part because she knew I'd spill my guts before I said goodbye to her that day. She understood me better than anyone in my life.

We chatted in a friendly manner through the salad course but the remainder of our noon repast featured some very funny impressions of our mother by Deidre. 

When I was a teenager, she commented to me quite a few times that she found it hard to believe our severe, uptight and prissy mother ever had sex more than three times. 

"Charles, you may kiss me now, no tongues," she said in a formal, upper crust voice.  

Charles was my father's first name and I laughed until my sides hurt.

"Charles, get your wicked willy away from me; it's not our anniversary," she mimicked skillfully.

"Stop, you're killing me," I begged with laughter. 

When lunch was over, we walked to the hotel Deidre was staying at and sat in a quiet corner of the beautiful atrium adjacent to the lobby. My mood turned serious and although my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Valerie, there were sentiments in my heart that I wanted my sister to hear. They were long overdue.

"You know Dee, I was very lucky you were my big sister growing up," I said lovingly.

"Why do you say that?" she asked curiously.

"Because you took care of me and watched over me as though you were my real mother," I said with tears in my eyes.

"If I'd been your real mother, your childhood would have been much happier," she said with vehemence.

"But, I feel so fortunate that you're my sister. For as long as I can remember, I've looked up to you, confided in you, needed you and no one made me feel more loved than you," I said with tearful gratitude.

Deidre's eyes moistened and she looked very serious as though she was dredging up past memories. She was quiet for a few moments and it seemed as though she was gathering her strength before she spoke.   

"From the time you were a baby, something inside me refused to let you suffer the chillingly cold care of our mother. I was seven when mom brought you home from the hospital and the first time I saw you, you won my heart. I had a sister, a baby sister and inwardly, I was overjoyed," she said with a pleased but sad voice

I took Deidre's hands in mine to comfort her. 

"Mom called me 'the little mother' with a lot of sarcasm but I ignored her. I held you, fed you, burped you, changed your diapers, bathed you and tended to your needs every free moment I had.

It wasn't a duty forced on me by anyone but something I desperately wanted to do. I remember running home from school so I could hold you and when you looked at me with your smiling little face, so happy; it filled my heart with love. I grew up fast but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

In the evenings after dinner, I would take you to my room and read to you just like Tom Selleck in "Three Men and a Baby." As you got older, you would coo and fuss happily as I read aloud most of my homework assignments. English, science, math problems, you listened to all of it.

Jesus, I almost forgot what a little potty mouth I had growing up. I would cuss something awful in the privacy of my room and of course you were usually with me. I distinctly recall a night when you were three and lying on my bed flipping through the pages of a picture book. Unexpectedly, you looked at me with a very pensive expression. 

'Dee, what's a fuckin asshole?' you asked so innocently.

Merciful saints alive, I almost busted a gut cackling and giggling. You didn't have the slightest clue why I was laughing and it took me a long time to persuade you not to repeat it to anyone.   

'Ok, I won't,' you said in a matter of fact way and you never did, as far as I know.   

After that incident, I guarded my tongue from cussing when you were around.    Don't you see Kate, you saved me. With you in my life, I experienced the emotions and feelings that were absent before your arrival. For the first time in my very young life, I was able to love and feel loved by another human being; you loved me back," she expressed with deep emotion. 




Valerie



I gazed into Deidre's wet troubled eyes with admiration as tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Didn't you ever stop and think it was odd when you got a cut or a bruise, needed advice, wanted to share your feelings about something or someone, talk about your troubles and really, anything that affected your life; that you came to me? When typically, a daughter would go to her mother?" she asked in a tragic tone.

It was the first time that my sister had revealed her inner most feelings and memories about our symbiotic relationship as siblings. 

"You were there for me Dee and I'll never forget that," I said emotionally and brought her hands to my cheek in a loving gesture.

"She should have been there for both of us," she said with contempt for our mother.

"I can't help but feel a little sorry for mom since dad passed away. She's all by herself in that big house," I said with some remorse.

"I'd like to say I feel the same but..." she murmured in a voice that trailed off. 

Deidre as the oldest child had suffered the most from our mother's lack of involvement in our lives. She was dropped off on a daily basis at Aunt Peg's, my mothers' older spinster sister, who cared for Deidre until I was born. However, our Aunt was just as emotionally detached and coldhearted. 

"The only child mom showed any interest in was Dennis and that's because he was a boy; the heir to the family name. With three divorces before the age of forty, I believe he suffered as much as we did," she said with bitterness and sarcasm.

Unfortunately, we were all deficient in the marriage department. Deidre and I were one time losers.

"To this very day, I can't fathom why our parent's had children. The only reason I can think of is that it was strictly for appearance sake. Look at us the happy family. Did you ever notice that Dennis, you and me were the only ones smiling on the photos dad took? 

The glass was always half empty for mom and dad. Dad would sit in the den when he got home from work with his martini in hand and not say two words the entire night to anyone. As crazy as this might sound, at least mom spoke to us. 

Christ, when dad died, I don't think I shed one tear; now that's sad," she expressed with some regret. 

"Enough! I don't want to talk about our childhood anymore; it's too painful. Some memories are better left in the past, at least that's what my therapist says," she uttered wistfully. 

We both sat looking sad eyed, staring into space. 

"Hey, how bout a drink? It's not too early," she asked pleadingly and her mood lightened quickly. 

We walked across the lobby to a small but elegant wood paneled pub. When I ordered a martini, Deidre started to chuckle. 

"As I recall, you developed a real fondness for this type of poison, when you were at home during college breaks," she declared.

"Yeah, whenever dad mixed up a batch for himself, I sneakily skimmed some off the top for myself until I learned how to make them. It was my way of coping until I went back to school," I verbalized with a mouthful of gin.  

We sat in silence until we finished our drinks.

"Dee, I...ah...you see..." I stuttered incoherently.

I wanted to tell Deidre about Valerie but lost my nerve because I terrified thinking how she might react. Her sister, her little sister was in love; only it was with a woman.   

Deidre was regarding me with that "here it comes" look on her face. It was now or never. Before I got word one out of mouth about Valerie, my eyes welled up and tears started to fall very rapidly. 

Deidre guided me to her room where she held me as I cried on her shoulder.

"This has to be about love or a relationship," she said wisely. 

I nodded my soggy face in agreement.   "I met somebody and...fell in love but...she..." I blubbered. 

Deidre's eyes grew wide with astonishment. 

"Did I hear you correctly? A she; a female by gender?" she asked incredulously.

Again, I nodded my head in the affirmative.

"Holy Crap! Did you tell mom?" she asked with enthusiasm.

"Yes," I mumbled.

"I wish I'd been a fly on the wall when you told her," she exclaimed excitedly. 

Deidre's comment made me smile and chuckle.

"Mom told me I wasn't brought up that way," I said scornfully

"Kate, if you love someone and you know in your heart that it's real, than gender is irrelevant," Deidre spoke with wisdom.

A mental image of Valerie flashed in my mind and I smiled broadly. 

"You got it bad?" she asked referring to my love for Valerie. 

"Worse, I love her so much it hurts," I answered with accuracy

Deidre held me close. Gently, she rocked me the way she did when I was a child. 

"I know in my heart that I can't live without her," I expressed emotionally. 

For the better part of an hour, I told Deidre all about Valerie and what she meant to me. 

"Are you looking for my approval in some way?" she asked with trepidation.

"I guess, yeah," I said sheepishly

Deidre held me close and gently rubbed my back.

"And, she makes you happy?" she asked soothingly.

"Oh God, yes; I've never been happier," I stated with conviction.

"Kate, I'm thrilled for you and I'll always be there for you. You can count me," she said with tears in her eyes.  

"Thank you sis; I love you," I stated with gratitude and held her tight. 

My Everything:

Valerie's pretty face had a serious look of concentration as she studied for an exam. 

"Kate, did you have to cram this much when you were in college," she asked with a frown and closed her Anatomy and Physiology book.

It was a gorgeous autumn weekend and I knew Valerie wanted desperately to spend some time outside. From the kitchen window, we could see our daughter's playing in the yard. 

"I studied just as much as you are now," I said with assurance but in truth, probably less.

Valerie was in her sophomore year and I was tremendously proud of her. She danced occasionally at Diamond Jim's but at the tender age of thirty, she was considered middle aged for her profession. 

"Do you think it would be good idea if I slept with Professor Gilman for a better grade?" she asked with a snicker. 

"Now, why do you think that?" I asked with a stunned look.

"Oh, the way he stares at me in class," she said like a Parisian coquette. 

'You brat, if you do..." I growled menacingly and jumped on her back. 

Valerie wrestled me onto the carpet with the same result as always; her seated on my belly. 

Cassidy and Alana came running into the house at that instant.

"Your mom won again," Alana said dryly to Cassidy when she saw me on my back. 

Valerie and I howled with laughter as the girls looked at us like we were crazy. Later that day, I was checking emails on the computer. 

"Whatcha reading," Valerie asked when she slid next to me on the seat in front of the computer. 

"An email from my sister Deidre; she's inviting us for the New Years holiday," I said with excitement. 

"Oh, do you think you and Alana will go?" she asked with a disappointed tone.

"Not just Alana and I, you and Cassidy are coming with us. Otherwise, I won't go and I mean it," I stated emphatically.

Valerie threw her arms around me and kissed my cheek. 

"You're too good to me," she whispered affectionately.

When I turned and looked at Valerie, my heart was quaking with emotion. 

"I think of you and Cassidy as part of my family, our family; all four of us," I said with damp eyes and a quivering lip.

"Oh Kate, I love you so much!" she cried with happiness and held me tenderly. 

Deidre met us at the airport and gave hugs all around. When she got to Valerie, she gazed at her with a huge smile.

"You must be Valerie," Deidre said with warmth in her voice and embraced her.

"You've made my sister very happy, thank you," she said with fondness and kissed Valerie's cheek.

Valerie's eyes welled up and she pulled Deidre tightly against her.

"Ooh, you were right sis; she's very strong," Deidre said with admiration and everyone giggled with good humor.

Deidre welcomed us to her home with a view of the Rockies in the distance. Cassidy and Alana were captivated with the snow capped peaks. 

I would like to say "alls well that ends well" but we have a lot more living to do. Our daughters are a constant joy to us and keep us grounded. The health problems that plagued them a few years ago have improved dramatically; so much so that they're able to participate in sports.  

Recently, Cassidy started with gymnastics, just like her mom. Valerie was impressed with the facility and volunteered to help coach. They welcomed her with open arms. 

Alana is like me in some ways but I see much more of her father in her. She's studious but enjoys sports, especially soccer. No oboe lessons for her. 

And, Valerie, my love, my passionate lover, "My Everything" as Barry White sang so beautifully; when I think about her my heart leaps with joy like the ballerina in "Swan Lake". 

My life with Valerie has been nothing short of extraordinary. I've loved every minute, through the ups and downs, the happy times and the sad. I want nothing more and nothing less than to grow old with her. 

Sometimes, I feel incredibly lucky to have what I now have; a solid family with good kids and a loving partner. 

The sugar in our sugar bowl is granular; no pretentious bullshit at our house.



Valerie



She was little. She wore sandals and a natural linen sundress, short, with shoulder straps that were no more than strings. Around her neck was a narrow choker of lavender-colored velvet. Her name was Valerie.

What had I done to deserve Valerie? Not a damn thing. At that cafe on a muggy afternoon in Amsterdam we just stared at each other, sipping wine. Moments earlier, she had appeared at my table out of nowhere. She was exceedingly cute and clean. She could have passed for a virgin if not for her knowing smile. She pulled up a chair and asked if I would please order her a glass of Chablis.

From the beginning Valerie acted as if she belonged with me, or even to me, as if she had just returned to the wrought iron table after powdering her nose. But there was no powder needed on that perky little nose. Actually, she wore no makeup at all, not even lipstick. Her cheeks were like fresh apricots, begging to be kissed. Her youth showed too in her moist, pink lips. Her teeth were perfect. Her blond hair was short and bouncy. Her blue eyes had that mock-innocent twinkle that lit me up and will be with me forever. Take it from me: There is magic in the world.

I was 50, for christsakes, and down. After a year of feeling sorry for myself following the death of my wife, I had flown with high hopes to Amsterdam, seeking passion. I had never been to Europe, but the sex trade of Amsterdam had always figured prominently in the stories my college friends brought back with them, and thus in my fantasies for almost three decades since. I was overdue for some fantasy fulfillment.

Until Valerie sat down I had been sliding toward self-pity again. I had spent a day and a half cruising the red-light district, but, to my disappointment, nothing had aroused my interest. Most of the whores in the windows and on the sidewalks seemed old and tired. And I was never one for garter belts, fishnet stockings, big breasts, or painted faces.

But now, here before me, was a bare-legged, smiling dream come true. She knew what I wanted. I knew she knew.

She spoke English with hesitation and a thick Dutch accent, but she knew the language. Gradually, we covered the basics. She had recently turned 18 and run away from a wealthy family, just after graduating from a posh rural prep school. She had a comfortable studio apartment a few blocks away. She was making a living and getting to know men on her own terms. She knew that at her tender age she didn't have to wait for Johns to come to her; she could pick any man she wanted, and she picked me. It was quite a boost to my ego, needless to say. Yet I realized that this lovely girl was smart enough to choose men who seemed non-threatening. This was all a phase for her, a grand adventure. Hooking would not be her life's work, but she was curious about all that life had to offer.

After our second glass of wine, during which Valerie began to stroke the back of my hand with her smooth little fingers (well-manicured, but no nail polish) and kept up that naughty smile, I felt more alive than I had ever felt before. And yet she calmed me. Yes, this was really happening. Everything was unfolding as it should.

We held hands on the way to her apartment. As we walked, ostensibly comparing the English and Dutch words for windowboxes, sidewalks, and whatever else presented itself, we both knew my thoughts were elsewhere. I hope my smile was not the leer I was feeling as I imagined her firm young thighs brushing lightly against each other as she walked. That of course led to visions of her lower lips, pressed together now but soon to be slick, opening to my touch, and to my tongue, and to my lucky, lucky penis.

Finally we were at her place. She locked the door and knitted her fingers together behind my neck. She was so beautiful, so fresh. I had to catch my breath. She noticed, and she laughed a little as she tilted her chin and rose up on tiptoes to kiss me. My hands held her at the waist. My God it was sweet.

We stood there kissing, lightly at first, just brushing lips, cheeks, noses. But soon our lips were wet and locked together. Soon my hands were holding her sweet bottom, just two round little handfuls of firm flesh. As I pulled her tight against me she moaned and flicked her tongue against mine. Fireworks of passion had begun, our hearts were pounding. Suddenly our tongues were twirling, mashing against each other. I broke off to kiss those delicious, endearing cheeks, to nuzzle her ear, to lick her neck, but quickly we were back to tongue wrestling. My fingers explored the band of her cotton panties.

Valerie dropped her arms and backed away, breathing hard. She looked at me with surprise, as if she had not expected to get so excited so early. Then she smiled. It was a tender smile, but lit with joy, anticipation, mischief. She slipped out of her sandals. Then she reached up and pulled her panties down and stepped out of them too. Then she slid the string-straps off her shoulders and let her dress fall to the floor. There was no bra. That smile, oh God she kept smiling that wonderful open-hearted smile as I surveyed her teenage body. She was proud of it, as well she should have been. Her creamy skin. Her high breasts with hard little wild-strawberry nipples pointing straight at me. Her figure was perfect, and a little silver belly ring just above her naval set off her flat tummy. Below that was the most endearing pudenda I had ever seen. It was another smile, her "vertical smile," as Tom Robbins put it — the cutest little pouting bulge covered with light fluff atop taut, silken thighs. She was a blossom at the peak of her bloom.

She interrupted my reverie with the words, "We go to bed now, yes?" She blushed. I noticed her breasts were moving, and I realized her breathing was still rapid. Then I smelled her scent, wafting from her warming vagina. Pungent, a classic female scent, it was nevertheless simple, clean. I wanted to rip my clothes off like a schoolboy and jump on her, but I didn't want to make a fool of myself. This was no ordinary prostitute, no ordinary girl for that matter. I decided I had a role to play; wasn't I the "mature" member of this coupling?

"Yes," I finally replied. "Oh yes." Following her lead, I shed my clothing, not too fast, not too slow, and stood facing her. I drew in my belly in a weak attempt to hide my little paunch. She saw that, too. The corners of her mouth revealed wisdom beyond her years. I still work out three days a week, so I told myself I was in good shape for my age. It's just that "for my age" is such a big qualifier. I was nervous.

Slowly I took four steps and placed my hands gently on her tiny shoulders. I can't tell you how smooth and firm she was. I nuzzled her hair, her ear. I kissed the tender nape of her neck. My erection leapt up. Then I bent my knees and picked her up, as a groom lifts a bride. She giggled, God bless her. A few steps and I was setting her down on her bed. It was a girl's bed, with a pink, flowery cotton bedspread and ruffles around the edge. She drew me down to her lips.

As long as she didn't seem to be in a hurry, I wanted to make it last. She began a series of light moans as I kneaded her breasts. Then I started to kiss and suck her nipples, my hands caressing her everywhere above the waist. I slid my hand slowly down her flat tummy, pausing to toy with the belly ring. Her moans grew louder. She gently directed my mouth back to her own, and mashed her open lips against mine. Then she began scissoring her legs, slowly, with the soles of her feet sliding back and forth on the bedspread. One knee would rise, then the other. I smelled her again. Her musk was filling the room now. I was inflamed, dying to consummate a union with this enchanting nymph, but I forced myself to maintain a steady pace. I was propped on my right elbow. Our eyes met as we continued to kiss and moan. We knew there was no turning back. Everything was so right. My hand moved steadily down to cup her silky mound. She parted her legs slightly. Time stopped. All was quiet as our roller coaster climbed toward its next peak. Even our kiss was frozen. Her eyes searched mine. When I saw her brows move a fraction of an inch closer together to convey a certain anxious look, I slid my finger gently down along the curve of her crevice, just grazing the flesh, all the way back to her perineum and slowly back up again. When I came to her clitoris on the way back up, she jumped; it was a bare wire. She turned her head to break the kiss and let out a long, low, feline growl, contented yet hungry. The next time my fingers headed back down along her hot slit, she raised her knees and spread them.

"I want to feel you in me," she said. Her fingers found my erection and lightly danced around its head. I was swooning, barely able to control my passion, but I didn't have to think; my fingers knew exactly what to do. I looked into her eyes again and dipped a finger in and out of her honeypot, just an inch or so. Again her body jerked as if shocked. I added a little pressure so that my tickling turned to stroking. I outlined her labia, spreading her wetness up and down along her delightful young pussy. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. She bit her lip. Her brows tightened another notch, her little forehead wrinkled, and now she was clearly pleading. I felt her fingers curl around my erection. "Now." she said. "Please?"

In a flash I was between those knees. I was holding myself above her with my elbows locked. I wanted to watch her adorable little face as I entered her. I pushed slowly in. It was still not the time to plunge; I held back with all my might. Her wet vagina was hot and tight, and soon gave way, welcoming my manhood. That wonderful first stroke, and I was all the way in. I felt Valerie's heels on my back. Her eyes rolled back in her head. I lowered myself and clasped her to me, this tender young girl. She wrapped her arms around me. We were one as we rode the planet though space. The galaxy was an awesome, heady place to be.

At first I moved only slightly. I pulled back an inch, only to be pulled back by her legs and sucked in deeper by her awakening vagina. I felt her getting wetter, hotter. I increased the length of my stroke, but not the speed. It was then that I clearly felt her constrictions. She was milking me rhythmically. No one-way fucking here; she was fucking me back to beat the band. With difficulty I raised myself back onto my knees and elbows. There was that lovely, centering smile again, but this time there was sweat on her face and her eyes were bright with unashamed lust, at once giving and demanding.

With our eyes locked again, I stepped up the pace with longer, quicker strokes. Her eyes widened, then closed tightly. On the in-strokes, her moans turned to grunts, then shouts. Again I increased the speed. She rocked with me, picking up the rhythm with her sugar walls. I felt her juices flowing. No sooner had she pulled me down for more tongue wrestling than she turned her head and screamed, climaxing in a series of long, violent shudders. Her vaginal constrictions were now contractions, no longer deliberate but completely involuntary, erratic. With superhuman effort I somehow managed to hold back my own orgasm (one of the few benefits of age), varying my stroke according to what she seemed to want, until her shuddering subsided. She sighed, content and deamy-eyed. Then she realized I was still hard within her.

"Now you," she said, in her cute, pouty Dutch accent. She reached down to encircle the base of my erection with her thumb and forefinger as I started pumping again slowly. She squeezed a few times, then suddenly, yet gently, reached back and closed her fingers around my testicles. I erupted as never before, a Roman candle lifting off at the base of my spine and crashing through the top of my skull as rivers of semen gushed from me into my Valerie. I had planted my seed.

When things had settled down we lay on our backs looking for animals and faces in the swirls of the ceiling plaster. I did not want to go, and I struggled to bring myself back to reality. I reminded myself that, even though it might have been my best sex ever, even though I felt a primal attraction to this girl, it was still sex for money. I got out of bed.

"Where are you going," she asked.

"To get my wallet," I replied. "And to get dressed."

Her eyes saddened. I wondered why, but was afraid to get my hopes up.

I brought the money over to her and she sat up. I was still nude. In one fluid motion she took the money with one hand, setting on the nightstand, and grabbed my flaccid penis with her other hand. A second later I was in her mouth and my knees buckled. She sucked me perfectly, her hand following her mouth up and down, pulling. Immediately I was hard again. She was in complete control, but again I felt that there was no hurry. She pulled me onto the bed and told me to kneel. I knelt. She was on her knees too, and she continued to suck, lathering me with plenty of warm saliva. I bent over her back to stick a finger into her sticky vagina. She reciprocated by snaking her free hand to her mouth for lubrication, then between my legs and up to my anus. I gasped as she slid her longest finger into my asshole and kept it there. I tipped myself backwards onto my back and into heaven. The new angle enabled her to probe more deeply into my rectum, all the while continuing to suck my pole, and she new exactly where this was going. I spread my legs, knees up. I felt as high as a kite, deliciously, wickedly submissive, vulnerable. I heard myself gasping through ragged breathing. "Yes, yes," I said, looping my legs across her back. As soon as I did that she started to massage my prostate. I was totally hers. She was at my core. "Oh my God," I shouted, and just then she increased her suction and quickly curled her finger and I came buckets into her mouth. She kept sucking and swallowed every drop. I had never, ever, felt such release, such fulfillment, and, finally, such utter exhaustion.

"Mmmmmmm," she purred, slowly, tenderly removing her mouth and both her hands from my private parts. She lay down on her back, her head on the pillow. I was laid out the other way, my head next to her feet. I was spent, drifting, eternally grateful. In love.

"Oh my god," I whispered, over and over. We draped our arms over each other's shins. We fell asleep like that. When we awoke it was dark. She turned on the bedside light and we both sat up.

"I'd like you to stay for dinner," she said.

"I'd love to," I said.

First we took a shower together. We nuzzled as we soaped each other. We eyed each other sideways as we dressed. I was stuck with my same clothes, of course, but she put on purple shorts and a baby-blue T-shirt. She opened a bottle of wine and lit a joint. We then prepared a meal of stir-fried vegetables with rice, chatting together as if we were old friends. 

The dinner was ready, and we ate it like shipwrecked sailors. Then we leaned back in our chairs and sharing our histories, rambling from one memorable experience to another. I told her about my wife's long, tragic bout with cancer. She told me she had been to bed with only nine other men before me, including her boyfriend back home, to whom she had given her virginity. She had been in Amsterdam a month, but she had not exactly thrown herself into the sex trade. On the contrary, this girl who had so boldly approached my table at the cafe turned out to be rather timorous in comparison to others in her profession. Though she appreciated the experience she had gained, she clearly had mixed feelings about the whole game, its health risks, its depersonalization of sex, and so on. Finally I said, "Listen, wherever life takes you, you should know that you are the loveliest, most delightful creature I have ever met, and what we had together on that bed earlier was nothing short of cosmic."

As soon as the words were out, I slapped myself mentally. Don't lose your cool, I thought; for all she is, she is still a whore; tomorrow she will have forgotten you. Here you go again with your heart on your sleeve like some sissy; that was always your problem!

She got up and took our dishes to the sink. She stood there with her back to me for a few seconds. I looked at the floor. But then she turned and walked over to me. Standing above me, bashful but determined to speak, she said, to my amazement, "I'm so glad you said that. I wasn't sure what you were thinking. Sex with you was the best ever for me."

You can imagine how my heart soared. In seconds we were back on the bed hugging, rolling, kissing, undressing. Valerie lit a candle and we began to stroke each other again. Without hesitation we told each other what felt good, not so good, better, and better still. I kissed her face, ears, neck, shoulders, breasts, tummy, knees, thighs. I remembered some massage moves, and they made her purr. When she opened her legs to me again I went down to taste her sweet nectar. Her golden public hair was so fine that it fluttered with my breath. I licked her crack from bottom to top. God she tasted good! It was the most heavenly taste, so sweet and clean and right. I stuck my tongue in further. I sucked on her clitoris and made her come, bucking against me and clasping her thighs tight against my ears. After a pause for some more kissing and whispered endearments, I returned to that slippery vulva, that furry little mound that drew me like a magnet, and slid my middle finger up Valerie's vagina.

I was, of course, as hard as can be. But I was more interested in pleasing her. With my finger up her cute little snatch I asked her if she had ever heard of the G spot. "The what spot?" she said. I explained the spot as I searched for hers. I knew I had it when she let out a long loud, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," and spread her little legs as wide as she could. I kept my finger right there. She panted as if in labor, her glistening lips sucked like a sea anemone at my finger. She started to writhe, moaning loudly.

Power was in the air. Sexual energy. I continued to massage the spot, bending to suck her nipples and watching her tension mount higher and higher. I had made women come this way before, but I had only read about the phenomenon of the "female ejaculation." Actually, I had written it off as myth. But when I delivered the coup de grace to Valerie by jerking my finger forward, she not only jumped and let out a great shout; she also squirted about a third of a cup of sweet, transparent liquid out of her urethra. That was it! My God, it's true. And I made it happen.

It took a while for Valerie to collect her thoughts and regain her composure. She sat up, eyes wide and eyebrows up. "What was that?" she asked. At first she thought the excretion was urine, but when I explained, she was in awe. A whole new world had opened up. She was so grateful. It was gratifying to me, to say the least. It encouraged me to experiment some more, but first Valerie saw to it that my own needs were met. She sucked me hard, pressing a finger hard against my perineum whenever she felt my tension building. I knew she was maximizing my pleasure while saving my orgasm for her sugar walls.

Sure enough, when I was literally aching for it she straddled me and, with a beatific smile, placed my penis at the entrance to her sweet, sweet pussy and lowered herself to sheath me in pleasure. She wanted to repay me, and she did it in spades. Starting out slowly, with me twirling her nipples, she began to pant. She straightened her back and squeezed me. Again, the milking began; I had never known a woman who could control her vaginal muscles so well. Up and down she slid, bathing me in her warm, slimy cunt juice. In her face I saw compassion, nurturing. I saw love. There was no reason to hold back this time, so I let it go, spouting inside her like a sperm whale. She pressed her hands against my chest, then leaned down to kiss me gently as I lost all control, spasming, jerking. I came and came. When my tremors finally subsided, we slept soundly in one another's arms.




Valerie



Late the next morning it started all over again. We stretched and yawned and turned to each other. We smiled, kissed. I was hard as a rock, as I usually am in the morning. With no preliminaries Valerie sat up, lifted the sheet, and began to nonchalantly suck on my erection. She licked and slurped as if she were a five-year-old with her favorite flavor Popsicle. I stroked her rump lightly and, sucking me harder now, she came around for a sixty-nine, presenting me with that fleshy little clefted peach right in my face. She hovered there, then gently settled her pussy lips atop my mouth and nose. I spurted. "Breakfast," she chirped, sucking me dry.

We got up to visit the toilet and share some muffins, but soon she was back on the bed in just her T-shirt, with open arms and legs.

"Come love me," she said.

"I'm only human," I replied, "but I'll give it my best shot."

By now we were familiar to one another, so we were more relaxed than ever. Foreplay with Valerie was child's play, so natural and easy. When my fingers reached her pussy this time I noticed she was wetter than she had been yesterday. I guess she, too, got excited easily in the morning. I rolled her shirt up above her breasts to feast on her two tiny strawberries as I inserted a finger all the way into her cunt.

"More," she whispered.

At first I didn't understand, but when I added a second finger she purred into my neck and opened her legs wider. Massaging her clit with my thumb, I added a third finger.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm," she moaned. It was a low-volume, high-pitch, interesting-but-what-else-can-you-show-me moan.

She began to gyrate her hips. She pulled my ear to her mouth and again whispered, "More," and giggled.

Upon adding the fourth finger I noticed Valerie was really getting excited. Her elastic cunt was sucking my hand. I had heard about fisting as something lesbians do to each other, but I had never attempted it. This seemed like the time.

"Do you trust me?" I whispered.

"Absolutely," she said. Her eyes were closed.

Placing my thumb at the base of my middle fingers to form a single wedge, I slowly pushed farther into her. Her honey flowed, soaking her ass and the sheets below and ensuring me easy passage as long as I took it slow and easy. I have thin wrists, which had always caused me to think of myself as effeminate but now became an asset. I proceeded up her gradually expanding canal. By now I was kneeling between her legs. She was concentrating on the ceiling, taking slow, deep breaths punctuated with whimpering and the word "yes." Finally, I was in way past my wrist, in uncharted territory. Sexual energy crackled in the air again. I was already a little bit scared, and then Valerie's breathing seemed to stop. When I felt that my whole hand was up inside her uterus (all the way up in her uterus!), I tentatively began to move my forearm in and out, only an inch or two in either direction. She must have felt like she was being fucked by a horse. She made little gurgling sounds. Then I went all the way in, opened up my hand, and fluttered my fingers against her uterine wall. I didn't know what to expect.

Valerie's head snapped up off the pillow. She was looking toward me, but she was looking through me. Her feet came off the mattress and she reached down and grabbed her ankles. She let out two big farts. Nobody cared. Next came a long grunt that bordered on a shout at the end. She was sweating heavily.

She went back to whimpering as I began to slightly increase the speed of my pumping arm, my fingers lovingly stroking the spongy walls of her innermost recesses on each downstroke. Louder whimpers. Then I pressed the middle finger of my other hand, well-lubed with her bountiful juices, up against her anus, which was tightly compressed due to her overloaded vagina. Just as she realized what I was about to do, I did it, plunging that finger in up to the hilt.

All hell broke loose. A string of guttural, animalistic grunts came from deep in her chest. Her eyes were tightly closed, her mouth wide open, her throat and jaw tight as she gasped for breath. At last it came: wave after orgasmic wave slammed through her body like seizures. Her darling little cunt bore down on my hand, contracting over and over again but never fully releasing — it didn't want me to stop. Her rectum did the same to my finger. I had never experienced such power. I was in awe. It was as if she were giving birth; she was in another dimension.

When her spasms finally stopped, I slowly removed my arm, hand, and finger from her orifices and she reached up and pulled me to her fiercely for a tight hug. I cradled her tenderly, with wonder and respect, until she fell asleep.

When she awoke later, she was still a mass of jelly. For an hour our so we cuddled on the bed and exchanged sweet pillowtalk. I was in love, no question about it. I could not picture life without her. I tried not to think about the future.

We showered and decided to go out to dinner, and that, too, turned out well. Over a delicious meal we talked non-stop. We were interested in everything, fully alive. When the check came, I opened my wallet and was at first surprised at how much cash I found there. Instantly I realized that Valerie had put back the money I had given her the day before. I looked up at her. That smile again. So far, so good.

###



Valerie



She was my sister eleven months older than than me in years but but much younger in attitude. She would have been at home in the flower girl age. She pretty much believed in free love although she was conservative with her pussy when it came to men any woman that wanted it could have it.

She was now twenty seven, married and divorced twice. She almost ended up in jail when the financial firm he had worked for was discovered to be another ponzi scheme. She was just a receptionist and had no knowledge of the company dealings.

The investigation learned she was an easy lay and thought about charging her with solicitation but decided they had the big fish and let the minnow go.

One thing Val always did was trust people. The entire experience was a deep hard blow to her that was compounded when she tried to get another job. She was soon homeless.

She called me and asked if she could crash with me for a while until she could think of something. I made it clear it could not be a permanent home for her but invited her to move into my home.

I lived in a complex of patio homes and I had two bedrooms. My second bedroom had its own small bathroom but was otherwise empty. I would need to get her a bed and some furnishings for her. She had told me she would be arriving with just a suitcase, everything she had she had already sold.

I made good money in a publishing house and that was not going to be a problem. I decided to wait until she got there so she could pick out what she wanted. 

She knocked on my door at nine that evening. She looked terrible. I hugged her to me and she began to cry. She had a fever. I took her to my bed and gave her night time flu medicine and after disrobing she was soon asleep. She went into my bed nude but I was not surprised, I had seen her naked often from the second I turned eighteen. I went to get her suitcase and found little that would fit her, she had apparently lost more than twenty pounds. I put her stuff in the closet of the second bedroom and took out one of my t-shirts for her to wear. I wondered when she last ate. 

Later that night I went to check on her and she was resting comfortably. I put my cheek against her forehead and noted her fever had diminished.

I went to my computer desk in the kitchen and began to write her a long note. I expected to be at work when she got up.

I told her where the food was and gave her suggestions on the stuff in my freezer. I told her to spend the day taking baths in my tub, eating, and sleeping. We would figure everything else out that night.

I slept on my recliner then readied for work. I had forgotten she was in my bed and walked out of the bathroom naked. She appeared to still be sleeping so I dressed and went to work. She called me at noon to ask where her suitcase was, I told her then suggested she just wear the t-shirt I had taken out for her.

"Oh, I hoped it was for me to wear but decided you had just left it out. Thanks. I had the linguini and shrimp from the freezer. If you don't mind I will have the second one this afternoon."

"I don't mind, eat anything you want. Did you take the cold medicine I left out for you?"

"Yes, that I figured was for me. Thanks. Where did you sleep?"

"My recliner, I fall asleep in it at times so it was OK. Tomorrow is Saturday and we will go shopping for your stuff. Make a list of what you need that's not furniture and we will get those too."

"I love you. Thanks for putting up with me. See you tonight. Bye."

I left work a bit early and found her masturbating on my bed. She did not see me so I quickly detoured to the kitchen, waited five minutes, then called her name. Her answer was in a somewhat strangled voice when she said, "Be right there."

She was still a bit flushed when she came to me and gave me a terrific hug and kiss. She had never held back on either so it was what I had expected. What I did not expect as the rapid rising of my cock, it had seen her masturbating.

I opened the freezer door and pulled out a dinner and put it in the microwave then told her I was going to shower and to fix herself a dinner when mine was ready.

I was masturbating before I got wet. I was still in the shower when she came into the bathroom and peed. I needed to show her where the second bathroom was.

When I got back to the kitchen I was wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt. She had both our dinners plated and had a beer for each of us. Our conversation became halting when I saw she did not want to discuss her life. I saw something I never expected to see, my sister was afraid of the world.

After dinner I hugged her to me and softly kissed her lips. She clung to me and sobbed. I led us to my recliner and sat her on my lap as I waited for her to cry herself out. 

As I kissed her tears she said, "You were right. You told me I would not be ready when I was hurt. You were right when you said you would be there for me when it happened. I love you."

She gave me a long kiss that I had to end when my cock regained consciousness. I led her to her bedroom and told her to imagine what she wanted where and asked her if she had made a list of everything else she would need.

"Yes, it's on the back of the note you left me. I can get all of it at Cube Mart."

"Good, now let me show you something," and opened the door to her bathroom.

"Oh, sorry. I had to pee and couldn't wait. I don't have a tub."

"You can use mine, in moderation. As you already discovered I have no bubble bath soap."

"It's on my list."

We held hands as we walked to my living room and sat to watch TV, I sat on my recliner and she sat on my love seat. During a commercial I got up for a beer and got her a glass of sweet red wine.

"Oh, yum. I love this stuff. We need to add it to the list."

"Not a problem, Cube Mart carries it."

When I returned from the kitchen with second drinks for us I sat on the love seat with her. She leaned on me and I put an arm around her. During the next commercial we kissed. It was not a brother-sister kiss but it was not sexual in nature. We both enjoyed it very much.

After the late news she asked me if I was comfortable sleeping on the couch.

"Mostly," I answered.

"Your bed is huge. We can both sleep on it without bothering the other."

"You sure?"

"Yes, or I can sleep in here."

"No, my bed together would be better."

We got up and brushed our teeth, she did so in my bathroom then peed as I stood next to her.

"Oh, sorry," she said. "It's just that I feel so comfortable here. We shared the same bathroom until you went to college and we did the same thing often, remember?"

"Yes, but if you will excuse me I need to pee."

"If I didn't mind before why would I mind now?"

"Because you should."

"Oh,"

She walked out and I peed. I was flushing when I noted she had not closed the door. She had never closed the door while growing up. I'm sure she had seen me masturbating by the bathroom door as she took her shower. She in fact began masturbating in the shower during my last summer at home.

I had an erection as I slid into bed.

"I'm going to masturbate now and it looks like you need to do that too. Go ahead, we are further apart than we were in our shower."

I really had to masturbate so I slid my gym shorts off but kept it near me to catch my cum. She was already masturbating. I did not last long and neither did she. I threw my shorts on the floor and saw her throw he t-shirt on the floor.

Both of us understood we were both naked on the same bed. She leaned over me and gave me a long sweet kiss.

"Good night. I love you," She said and turned away from me.

I kissed her neck and when I turned turned towards her she took my hand and placed just under her tits and snuggled her ass to me. We were spooning as we went to sleep.

I woke up alone in bed. I could hear her in the kitchen so I got up to find some gym shorts to wear when she walked past me and slapped my naked butt as she went to the bathroom. 

"Coffee is ready. Stay nude, I will be," she said.

I held my shorts in my hand and then decided, "Why not."

I waited for her to pee and as I began she grabbed my cock from behind and aimed the stream for me. I had an erection by the time we sat for coffee.

"That thing of yours seems to be a high maintenance item."

"It has not been until you came here."

"Oh. You are welcome."

I gave her the finger and she said, "Maybe later."

As we planned the day my cock slowly diminished and when we went to get dressed it was mostly limp.

She did not have anything to wear that looked good on her but I decided we needed to get to the furniture store first so we could have the stuff delivered before that night.

She chose stuff half a step over cheap although I insisted she get a better mattress. At the Cube Mart she scoured women's wear as I went to the grocery section. All in all she cost me fourteen hundred dollars that day, less than I had expected. Val was a thrifty shopper.

She put her new bed linens in the washer along with her new bras and panties. She put the linens in the dryer but hung her undies in my bathroom. I complained and she said,"You are welcome" then I gave her the finger and she said "Maybe later."

We had a running gag going. It seem we had always had a running gag going mostly started be her. I had not realized I missed those.

Her furniture came in at five and we had her bedroom set up by eight. To celebrate we drank wine. Somehow both of us ended up naked on the love seat. I had an arm around her as before but my fingertips were softly teasing a nipple. We kissed. It was definitely not a brother-sister kiss.

Val got up and as she said "more wine please" she walked to her room. When I joined her back at the love seat she had two towels. After taking a big gulp of wine she began to masturbate. I began to masturbate.

She soon had a leg draped over mine and was well into her pleasure. I leaned to her and kissed a tit. She moaned. I somehow decided that was going too far and concentrated on my cock. She had an orgasm and kept going. "Tit," she said.

I leaned over and slurped her nipple in my mouth and gave it a hard clamp down with my lips. She groaned and I went back to my cock.

She groaned loudly into a cum and I was soon splattering all over the place. Her hand slid down and she caressed my balls as I squeezed the last drop of cum out of my cock. I let go and her hand slipped up my cock and she smeared a glob of cum on the head of my cock with her thumb.

She watched her hand through half lidded eyes. A few moments later she brought the fingers she had masturbated with to my lips. I sucked them in.

About five minutes later our episode was over. We cleaned up and finished our wine. On our way to bed we embraced and kissed. She pressed her body to my cock. I pressed her tits to my chest. We slept well that night.

I had watched her fuck men and women, she hid me in her closet when she brought someone over. The first time she did so was on my eighteenth birthday. After the guy left she had rubbed her tits in my mouth then kissed me hard before saying happy birthday. I was my best birthday present ever.

We were a bit shy around each other the next day. I decided to take us out to lunch and we held hands as we walked in and as we walked out after a fabulous meal. We walked around for a while, neither of us wanted to let go of the others hand and it only happened when I was passing her ice cream cone to her.

When we got home the tension was gone and we became nude. We kissed. We played. We watched a football game. Well, there was a game on the TV. We were kissing as she sat on my lap on the recliner.

After a long tongue filled kiss she said, "It is now later."

I slid a finger over her pussy and began to masturbate her as I devoured her tits. Her orgasm was dramatic and loud. As we kissed she moved her ass over my knees and turned to face me. He grabbed my cock and began to masturbate me.

I noticed that she gotten so close to my cock that its underside was parting her pussy lips. I ejaculated over both of us. As the fusillade faded she scooted closer and kissed me. My cock slid into her. We decided to ignore that and concentrate on the kiss.

The cum covering us got cold and we stood. We both watched as my cock left her pussy. We walked to my shower and cleaned each other up then went to get some wine. We sat by the kitchen table and kissed.

"We shouldn't go any further," she said.

"You are right, in fact we have already gone further that I dreamed we would."

"Not me, my dream has always been we would fuck. But recently my life has made it clear that some things are right and some are wrong. Hell of a time to realize that."

"Yeah. But I will be going down on you soon however."

"Thank you, thats not worse than what we have already done and neither is a blowjob."

"Glad to hear that."

We kissed. 

"We need a nap," she said and walked us to my bed. We cuddled together and dozed off.

Our growling tummies woke us and we peed then returned to the kitchen and stared into my freezer.

"What's in the big tupperware? She asked.

"Turkey and dressing from the Texas Home cooking place. They had a special for Halloween."

"Lets have that," she said.

It took a while for it to cook so I placed Val on the kitchen table and ate her pussy. She almost broke my neck on her first orgasm then my nose during her three rapid fire cums after that. She had just released my head as the timer went off.

We served our plates then held hands as we thanked having each other. The meal was fabulous and after we cleaned up the kitchen we went to the love seat to kiss. I did caress her tits and pussy lips and she did caress and squeeze my cock but our concentration was on the kisses.

"I have never been kissed like that," she said.

"I have never kissed anybody like that."

"Why not?"

I knew the answer to that but it was the wrong answer so I hesitated. She waited.

I gave the wrong answer. "Because I have never loved anyone as much as I love you."

Her kiss told me she understood.

"I love you three times as much as you love me. Marry me," she said.

She was crying. 

I said, "We already are."

Her sobs overwhelmed her and I carried her to our bed. We made love, we fucked. We promised each other our future.

The next morning she followed me into the shower and sucked me off. By the time I was dressed she had coffee and sausage ready for me. She was wearing my t-shirt. She walked me to the door and kissed me bye.

From that day on we were husband and wife in an ordinary love filled marriage.

I eventually got her a part time job as an editor with my company. She thrived in it but declined all offers to work full time.

"I already have a full time job," she said.

I gave her the finger.

"Tonight," she said.



Valerie



She won't look at me. 

She isn't interested, obviously not in the mood to rehash the past. The past is all I can think about; it's all around me. 

Her brother who is also my best friend married the girl he's been with since freshman year of high school. All of our old friends are here, mostly married with children. It's like I'm having one of those dreams that don't make sense with people you used to know in starring roles, doing and saying bizarre things that don't quite match up with the fading memories of them in your head. 

A girl—Lexi? Alexis? whatever— I used to fuck back in the day walks in with her husband. She used to do a tremendous amount of coke. She probably shouldn't even be alive. She comes over and talks to me using big words in not the quite right ways, and Alexis's husband stands next to her proudly. 

I get away from them as soon as I can and look back at her.

I stare at her, her gaze touching everyone but me. I wish I could have a fraction of her composure. I hate her fucking ambivalence more than I hate being at this fucking wedding. So I decide to be a dick. I order a big drink and slink up to her, all false bravado. 

"Valerie. Hey."

Her dark eyes flick over to mine, but her expression hardly changes. She doesn't verbally greet me; instead, she nods. Fury temporarily flares in my chest but I temper it with a forced smile.

"I heard you just got in. How's school?"

She sips her drink before she answers. Her drink is something pink and alcoholic and girly. "Good. How's work?"

So this is how it is going to be between us. This detached bullshit is wearing thin. I've been inside her, for God's sake.

"It's good," I shrug. "Making more money now. Can't complain."

Her eyes are watching her brother fling Theresa around on the dance floor. "Good for you."

She says that like she means it, and I wonder if that isn't worse. 

"Yeah." The words are tumbling out before I can stop them. "I've missed you, you know."

Valerie doesn't answer. She is standing there, all adult-like, and it drives me crazy. 

Her smile comes, but it's not real. It's not the smile she used to give me. But she ends up looking at me and I realize I can't be a chooser if I'm already a beggar. 

"Thanks." She looks at me closely, analyzing every wrinkle. "You look different. I can't figure out what it is."

I just lift my shoulders up and drop them down. Then we drift into an uncomfortable silence. Her throat shifts as she swallows her drink. Heavy lashes flutter, casting shadows across her cheeks. Unbidden, memories flash through my mind- Valerie laughing, Valerie happy, Valerie kissing, Valerie cumming, Valerie, Valerie, Valerie.

I want her still. That never stops. That gnawing desire has been with me so long I can't imagine what it would be like not to want her. But just like always, it's a temptation I can't allow himself to have. I've given in before and it's only made me feel like a bigger piece of shit.

"What are you thinking so hard about?"

Valerie's voice is soft and she almost sounds like she used to, like she still cares about me.

"The past." I don't need to elaborate. The way she shuts down tells me she knows what I mean.

She digs into her purse for her phone and checks it. The angles of her face are illuminated in the unnatural and eerie glow. "No wonder you had a frown on your face."

"I'm really happy to see you, you know," I tell her. 

Her expression changes. "Really?"

"Really." 

She throws her phone back in her bag and sighs. "I knew I was going to see you. I tried to prepare myself but... It's always a shock." Her hand toys with her hair, a darker brown than it used to be. "I'm seeing someone, you know."

I did know that. When her brother told me, I thought it was a good thing. Now, hearing it from her lips cements it and makes me ache. "Yeah, Tom said. That's great."

The strap of her bridesmaid's dress is falling down her arm. It makes her look vulnerable somehow. My fingers twitch, eager to adjust it and feel her warm skin, but I resist. She has someone in her life now.

"He's really... stable." She reaches over and pulls the strap up herself.

Her eyes are a little sad. Knowing Valerie, I don't really see that as a compliment. I feel worse, reading between the lines. After me, she probably longed for someone safe. 

"Good." I don't mean it, and I think she can tell by the tone of my voice because a tiny smirk flits across her face. 

Her mother calls her name and she walks away, not looking at me again.

******

Tom comes over to me at some point. I must look worse than I think because he claps his hand on my shoulder.

"Maybe I shouldn't have forced you to come."

"Nah, man, I'm glad to be here."

He looks down at the empty glasses in front of me. "Sure."

"I mean it. I'm happy for you."

"Things ended up as they should have," he says. 

I know what he means and I agree. It is amazing our friendship lasted what happened with Valerie. That Tom can sit here and care about me, joke with me, is a testament to what kind of guy he is.

I fucked his baby sister, then I fucked her over. It is my modus operandi. Love 'em and leave 'em fast. It dates back to my childhood, but doesn't everything? It's boring to rehash all of that.

My eyes catch Valerie laughing and the ache burns in my chest. 

"I never deserved her," my drunken mouth says.

Tom shifts next to me. "No one does. But you specifically made sure you didn't, right?"

Wincing, it all floods back to me. Valerie was happy with me when she graduated high school. We held hands. We were young. She was young. Then it was too much. I was pulled to one side of the country. She fled to the other after she caught me making out with her friend. 

Now she's in fucking graduate school and she wants to get her doctorate and be a shrink. She probably understands me better than I do. Maybe that's how she could stomach talking to me tonight.

"Look, man, let it go. Let it go for tonight. Dance and hang out with our friends. They are the same guys, I swear." He laughs. "They can't believe you're here. They want to shit on you so bad for your new job."

"My kindergarten teaching career? I'm ahead of my fucking time."

Valerie is surrounded by Tom's new wife and the other bridesmaids. I want to see her face. It's disgusting how desperate I've become.

"None of them can picture you around sticky kids."

"I've changed." I stare at the linen tablecloth. "I'm not the same asshole I was. Not even the same asshole I was a year ago."

"Oh, God. No." I look at Tom and he's shaking his head at me. "You wouldn't."

"What are you talking about?"

"You want to try again with her. Valerie."

I snort. "What? That ship has sailed."

"Don't you fucking dare try to get her to come into your room tonight or our friendship will officially be over."

"Tom, I don't—"

"You do. You're always going to love her. You're always going to regret her. And you're never going to have her. That's the end of it, do you hear me?" He gets up and stares down at me. "I have forgiven a lot. You know that. Don't make this harder on me, please."

He sees a relative waving at him and forces a smile, leaving me behind.

I'm anxious. This is typically when I'd cast my net and find the most available girl here, take her outside and fuck her or something. Get it out of my system. But I feel Valerie's eyes on me sometimes and it feels like such blasphemy to do something like that here, near her. It feels wrong touching anyone else.

Around midnight things are winding down. The band is tired. Theresa is hammered and Tom is embarrassed, apologizing to his grandmother after Theresa knocks off her wig. 

Valerie sits at her table alone, texting. Who? I wonder. Probably her boyfriend. 

Tom says he's a lawyer, or trying to be a lawyer. He says he has his shit together and treats her really good. They're talking about moving back to the east coast. Back to New York, maybe. That simultaneously thrills and terrifies me. 

I want her as close as possible, but it hurts like it would hurt hugging the sun. 

Now my thoughts are getting poetic, so I go off to have a tequila shot. Some kid I used to be friends with, Jefferson, spots me and his smile is fucking vile. He remembers who I used to be and hasn't learned yet people grow up. At least in some ways.

"Hey, man." He slaps my arm in greeting. "Long fucking time no fucking see. What are you doing here?"

"Tom."

"Yeah, but you know, the whole Valerie thing. Shocked to see you, that's all. Not as shocked as she was, I bet, though, right?"

I kind of want to punch the shit-eating grin off his face but that would undoubtedly cause a scene.

"She knew I was coming." I scan the room, desperate for an exit. The last thing I need is this idiot drumming up trouble for me. He's probably about to pull out coke or some pills from his coat pocket and I don't think I'm strong enough to back away from that. Not tonight.

The bartender comes over. "Tequila shot, please." 

Jefferson snorts. "Tequila? No, no, we want shots of Jameson. Everyone at the bar gets a shot, woo!"

Valerie is down at the end of the bar. I missed her come up there somehow, and now she's laughing blatantly at the asshat beside me. 

The bartender gives us two Jameson shots apiece, probably in hopes we'll go collapse somewhere. 

"So, I got some awesome shit with me tonight."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"The finest shit you'll ever lay your eyes on." He lets me have a little peek at a bag of crystals in his coat pocket. Meth. "Wanna come outside with me?"

God, the temptation is unbelievable. I thought I'd be strong tonight. I'd see Valerie and it would suck and it would be what I'd deserve, but I never thought I'd have to stave off the temptation to use again. That rabbit hole, that fucking dark tunnel of drugs, is one I never want to stumble down again.

But Valerie is beautiful and not mine. I'm being a pussy about it but it's so much harder being so close to her. I haven't seen her since she came back that last time to pack up her stuff.

She loves another guy. Someone who deserves it, too, probably. I hope so, at least. And he loves her and he takes care of her and he probably even "makes love" with her and it all makes me so sick and furious that I want to punch a nun in the face.

"Can I squeeze in here, you guys? No room on the other side." Valerie's little body slips in between me and Satan himself. She's pressed up close to me—too close—but I smell her perfume and I'm practically touching her, and I forget all about the delicious high I could be having right now. She smells like peaches with a hint of vanilla. I feel like such a dork thinking that but it's true, and I really wish I could spread her out on the bar and see if other parts of her taste like peaches, but we're in a public place and she doesn't even want me.

I wouldn't care about any of this if I snorted. But that would be cheating.

Jefferson's smile turns flirtatious. "Valerie, you look beautiful. I told you before but I've gotta say it again."

"Thanks," she says. She says it casually, not because she's vain but because I can tell she hopes he'll get the message and scurry off. 

"Your brother tells me you're in grad school these days. So grown up!"

She just smiles. 

"And you're seeing someone, right? What's his name, what's he like? Tell Uncle Jefferson."

"Wade, and he's great." She doesn't seem uncomfortable relating this information, and again I'm struck with feeling insulted, ridiculous as it sounds. She doesn't even seem to care I'm sitting right here, listening to this fabulous life she's cultivated without me.

But who am I shitting? It's what I deserve, and it's a good distraction from the crystals in Jeff's pocket (it's not but it's good to keep telling myself that so I don't tackle him and take all of them for myself).

"Why couldn't he make it?"

She takes one of the little tiny straws on the top of the bar and plays with it. "He actually had a funeral to go to."

"Holy shit," Jefferson says, faking sympathy. "Makes you think about life, right? A wedding and a funeral."

"I think your date is looking for you," Valerie murmurs. "Over there. By the bathroom. Maybe you have something she wants." Valerie shrugs. "Something she needs in the bathroom?"

Jefferson starts. Those sentences have a multitude of meanings. Some innocent, some not. He's not a complete idiot, and she's not a complete saint, so he deduces he better actually scurry off before Tom punches his brain in. 

"Right. Well, it was good to see you both. Behave."

"Loser," Valerie says under his breath when he's far enough away. Then her angry and dark eyes glare at me. "I cannot believe you were going to go use with him."

"What?" I need a drink. I turn to the bartender but Jefferson is now monopolizing him on the other side. "What are you talking about?"

"I know Jefferson like I know the back of my hand. Total sleaze and druggie. And I saw him show you something in his breast pocket and I'm not a moron." Valerie waves over the bartender. "I'll have a gin and tonic. He'll have a glass of water," she adds, pointing at me. "A big glass, okay?"

The bartender smiles at her.

"Hey!"

"I've told you a few times in our lives that I can't stand by and watch you be a doofus. You can be a doofus tomorrow or the day after that, if you like, but tonight we're stuck in a room that isn't big enough and I can't bear to watch you get annihilated." 

I am quiet for a minute. She cares, it dawns on me. She still cares. She was always sort of crazy; it shouldn't surprise me. 

She moves a little closer to me and sips on the gin and tonic the bartender happily puts in front of her.

"Be careful with that, lightweight."

"Just because I'm talking to you doesn't mean we're friends," Valerie says, cutting me down. "I'm not much in the mood to joke around with you."

I shift on my feet. "Sorry."

The silence is awkward and I hate it.

"I hear you're considering moving back at east."

She looks at me beneath her lashes. "Where did you hear that? Tom?"

"Where else?"

She blows a puff of air out and I smell the alcohol on her breath. It didn't occur to me before but now I realize with a strange mixture of amusement and annoyance she's drunk.

"It's a faint possibility at this point. Wade is debating a position he's been offered, and we both miss our families out here."

I fight back my urge to make fun of his name, reminding myself his name could be Dirk and he'd still deserve her more than I do.

"I'm sure it would make your parents really happy."

Her eyes come back to me, still half covered beneath those thick mascaraed lashes. "Would you be?"

Something snaps in my chest like a tightly wound rubber band. "I don't think we'd see much of each other." 

She puts both elbows on the bar and squeezes her upper body between them, pushing her breasts together in the most mouthwatering, erotic way imaginable. She catches me staring and laughs, but doesn't call me out on it.

"Don't you see a lot of Tom?"

"Not as much as before."

Before. So much meaning can be packed in a single word.

She calms down a bit, losing her tipsy goofiness. "I hate that what happened between us fucked up your friendship. He was your anchor."

"Anchor? What do you mean?"

"He could always bring you back to earth. No matter what bender you went on, or how bad you fucked up, he could bring you back. I hate to think there's this huge rift between you."

As if he can sense us talking about him, Tom's head snaps in our direction and his gaze narrows at me. What he said earlier floods back into my mind and I realize we're dangerously close to one another. I step back and shake my foggy head. 

"I think I need to go sit down."

"All this time I've imagined you fucking anything with a pussy and two legs," Valerie whispers. "Tom said it wasn't so, you'd calmed down and grown up, but I thought he was just cheering me up. Because in spite of everything? I wanted the best for you, and I think he was worried that if I got an idea of how bad things were it would put me in a funk."

Her eyes catch mine. "But you have been doing well, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"Tonight must have been really hard on you. And you have a lot of temptations around you."

She has no idea.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I ask, sounding like a needy teenaged girl.

"Two reasons. One selfish, one selfless. Both are so tangled up I can hardly tell one from the other. Wanna hear?"

"Can I get a drink first?"

Valerie grins that fucking grin and I could almost get hard just from the curvature of her lips. I'm such a pussy.

She waves over the bartender again. "Two shots of Jameson, please."

"What! You don't do Jameson, and I don't really, either."

"You did with Jefferson."

"I had no choice!"

The bartender comes back and gives me a fucking smirk, knowing this shot is the one that's going to put me over the edge. He probably thinks I'm exactly like Jefferson. Douche.

I eye the shot like it's going to stab me. Valerie giggles. "It's just a shot, Michael. Don't be a pussy."

It's the first time she's said my name all night. I turn to her and she must notice it, too, because her cheeks turn pink.

"Do the shot, Michael."

The whiskey burns like fuck but it's worth it. Valerie's face twists with disgust, but once the liquor settles she smiles at me. "Whoa."

She crooks a finger over at the bartender. 

"I literally can't drink anything else," I tell her.

"Relax, baby, it's for me."

She says "baby" meaning infant, but my mind goes back to all the times she called me baby before. Sweetly, usually before she said she loved me. Shocked, when I said something really obscene. Lustful and desperate when my mouth was—

"Here." She shoves another glass of water at me and miraculously produces two aspirin. "Drink."

So I listen, watching her suck down another gin and tonic. 

"Alright, so as to why I'm being nice to you." She hops up on a bar stool and swivels around. "One is that of course I still care about you and I want to see you do well. I know you're sorry. I got your letters. Tom even admitted it. I know you're sorry, okay? I know it. And I appreciate it. It's nice to hear it from someone who broke your heart."

"Valerie—"

"Shush," she interrupts, putting her little finger against my lips. She stares at my mouth, nearly transfixed, but she stops herself from showing any more emotion and whips her hand back. "The other reason is because I want to fuck with your head."

That stops all my drunken thought processes. "What? Fuck with my head?"

"Yeah. I'd say I'm doing a pretty swell job at it, too."

I look around for Tom. "You're drunk."

"Yep," she giggled. "Not as drunk as you."

"That's not true."

"We just hold our liquor differently. In this moment, right here, I'm more powerful than you."

I look her up and down. I don't know this woman standing in front of me, her black bridesmaid dress silky and begging to be torn off. I like her like this, but it aches me to know the Valerie I once knew is different. Cynical. Maybe even a touch cruel. "You've changed."

"I grew up." She steals a cherry from behind the bar and sucks on it. "You've changed, too."

I barely listen to her. She's sucking on a fucking cherry and it's so red as it slips into her wet, pink mouth.

"I see what you mean about fucking with my head."

Her mouth twists. "Don't you think you deserve it?"

"What does fucking with my head entail?"

"Mostly what I've done. Being nice to you. I didn't plan it, if it makes you feel any better. I was terrified to see you. I was afraid my heart would splinter into thousands of pieces and I'd collapse right on the floor. But then I saw you and it was like, I just knew I was going to be okay. I thought, okay maybe we'll say hello and that'll be it. But I saw your eyes, how they watched me. And it infuriated me that you thought you had any right to look at me that way."




Valerie



"Valerie. I'm sorry. I don't know what to do here. I'm really drunk and confused. I should probably head back on the bus to the hotel. It's coming soon, right?"

She gets closer to me. Her breasts are against my chest and I swear to fucking God I can feel her hard nipples through her dress and my shirt. I wonder if she's wearing a bra. A quick glimpse makes me think no. And fuck, her skin is so pink and white against the black dress, so creamy and tasty-looking. I'd fuck her right here if I could get away with it. 

I'm swaying on my feet and reach out to hold the bar.

"You're coming back with me."

My lungs and my heart stop pumping, squeezing, releasing. "What?"

Blood rushes straight down into my cock. 

"What?" I ask again.

Her grin is wicked.

"Are you fucking with me again?"

Her white teeth bite into the juicy cherry, and then she tosses the stem on the bar.

"Yes, but I mean what I said. You're coming into my room and you're fucking me."

My cock wants out of pants and inside that warm, wet and tight pussy I know so well. My head doesn't even give a fuck what she's doing anymore, what her incentive is. I forget about Tom, about things like repercussions, that I might be tearing open wounds that had only slightly begun to heal. 

I don't give a fuck. I just want to sink into her and forget everything that's happened. Pretend like our two years apart didn't happen.

My dazed eyes travel down her body. Her long white legs swing back and forth, sometimes letting her heels cling against the metal pole of the stool. I imagine them wrapped around my back as I drill her.

"Why?"

"Because you do it so well. And because I think we owe our relationship, the memory of it, a better ending than you fucking Laura."

"We didn't fuck."

She looks down and stares at my throat. "You might as well have."

"Hey," I whisper, reaching to touch her cheek. 

She slaps it away. "This isn't going to be lovemaking, Michael. I don't want that. We aren't the same people we were before. I just want to be fucked by you. I want you inside me, so hard and fast. I want us to slide against the sheets. I want the people staying in the room beside mine to hear us. I don't want apologies and whispers and delicate tender touches. Don't even dare do that."

"This is really fucked up."

"I'm in room 34C. Come if you want and I'll make you come all night."

It only now dawns on me I'm standing between her spread legs. I'm sure she can feel my hard-on on her thigh. I push against her a little and her eyes flutter shut.

"Do you know how wet I am right now?"

My own eyes close. "No, but I really want to."

"34C," she whispers again. 

Then she hops off the stool and heads back over to her family, her familiar smile back on her face. If we didn't just have that conversation, I would assume the woman in the long heels is the same Valerie I knew and loved two years ago.

But I know better now. I fucked her up big time, and she's intent on bringing me to my knees. 

And I'm intent on letting her.

***********

I'm soberish by the time the party bus takes us back to the hotel. She was on the first round of buses so I'm not forced to watch her and wonder what the hell she's really doing. Is this for me, or for her? And does it matter?

Tom watches me like a hawk when we get back. Everyone files into the hotel bar. The advantage of a NY wedding is never taken for granted. The bar is open until 4am. Many of the partiers have no intention on stopping now, and they're too drunk to remember this isn't an open bar and they're probably about to drop hundreds.

I'm sipping a beer (and a water) in the corner. Tom comes over and pulls out the seat next to me.

"What were you and Valerie talking about before?"

"Our relationship," I say smoothly. "You know, finding closure."

He doesn't believe me. "She got dark, man. I know you see it now."

"I loved her. I feel like I still do. I feel responsible."

Tom looks around and settles back in the chair. "Be careful. She's gonna try to tear you apart."

"Tom, I—"

"I didn't want to tell you. Didn't want to guilt you. Shit happens, people break up. Yeah, I got put in the middle and that sucks but I never really blamed either of you. You acted like a dick, absolutely, but she was young and everything was messed up." He gets up and puts his hands on my shoulders. "Stay away from her. For your own good, for hers. Okay?"

"I don't know if I can," I confess, bracing myself for a punch in the eye. I feel shitty that Tom has to worry about all this on his wedding day. "I love her."

He moves around and picks up his beer, shaking his head. "I was hotheaded before. I love you. You're my brother. And you and Valerie have always been toxic, one way or another. Do what you think is best, though I can probably guarantee it's not. Just leave me the fuck out of it. I don't want to know anything. Don't confide in me, or whine to me, and you can tell her the fucking same."

He is probably drunk but I'm taking this as permission. I'm a guy, after all, and my cock's been tormenting me since her little bar scene.

I get up, nearly knocking over my seat, and hurry up to 34C. I knock and it takes her fucking forever to answer, so long I debate running away hundreds of times. But then there she is, standing in the doorway, her hair still pinned up and her makeup perfect. The only difference is she now stands in a black silk robe.

"Come in."

There are no preliminaries. No chit-chat. She drops her robe and I drink in the sight of her body, the dips of skin between her ribs, the delicious heaviness of her perfect bests, the dark pink of her nipples. Her neck is longer and more regal than I remember. Her hair's grown, and the dark locks just whisper against her nipples. 

Her soft smile is almost sweet, but not bashful. Two years beforehand she would have been embarrassed on display, blushing and trying to cover herself. Now she stands proudly, hands on her side so I can see everything. Each breath she takes lifts her luscious tits and it takes everything inside of me not to rush her and throw her on the bed and fuck the crazy out of her.

"Want to watch me finger myself?"

This is every fantasy come to life. I am suspicious. Too good to be true, and all that stuff. She's going to pull the rug out from under me at any moment, and a big part of me doesn't care. I'm looking at her naked body. I'm harder than I can remember in a long time. I'm well equipped with jerk-off material for a lifetime. 

And all that still isn't satisfying because I'm not so sure I know the woman standing in front of me.

"Who are you?" It's asked without thinking, and I curse myself. She could end all this now just because of a stupid question.

She doesn't ask what I mean. "I'm Valerie," she says.

"No, you're not. You're not the Valerie I know. Who are you?"

She comes closer to me. Wraps her bare arms around my neck and presses her nipples into my dress shirt. Now I can definitely feel them and I sigh with pleasure. My cock is insistent against her stomach and twitches when she lifts up on her tiptoes to kiss my nose.

"I'm Valerie, but I'm never the same Valerie twice. That's true for most girls. We're never the same woman twice. We change every second. We're chameleons."

I hate this all of a sudden. I want to disentangle myself from her. "You sound really pretentious right now."

She shrugs, still wrapped around me. "You still want to fuck me." Her eyes flick down to my cock.

"You have a beautiful body, but believe me—my mind is turned completely off. I don't recognize you and I don't like this game anymore."

Her hand is suddenly wrapped around the shape of my cock through my pants. It's not a great deal of pressure but, like I said, I've been ready to blow my load for a better part of the evening.

"Stop this. We have to stop. You'll be sorry tomorrow," I say. "You will be. This is a fun fantasy for you, calling the shots and making me beg or whatever. I get it. But it isn't going to undo what happened. And what about Wade?"

"Shut the fuck up, Michael. Either you want to fuck me or you don't. Make your choice." She smirks. "As for Wade, we have an open relationship. We're not as serious as everyone, AKA my family, would like to believe."

She stops fondling me and goes over to the bed, climbing on top of it and giving me an excellent view of her ass and just the hint of pussy below it, a sight I love well. 

Then she rests prone on the bed, one arm bent above her had, the other resting innocently against her abdomen.

"Tick, tock," she whispers. 

I've had enough. Game or no game, regrets or no regrets, this is happening. It is basically destined. 

I take my clothes off leisurely. Deliberately. I'm still waiting for her to say, "Nevermind, I hate you! Leave, you pig! You broke my heart and left me paralyzed with pain for months!"

But none of this comes. This is a game she will see through to the end. 

All that's left for me to bare is my cock. I push the boxers down and she gasps with delight when my dick bobs back up.

"I've missed that cock," she admits. "It did good things to me."

I stalk over to her and climb over her.

She's naked and pliable beneath me. My naked cock rests against her slick pussy lips, and I can feel both our arousals mingling into a mess of desire. 

"I want this pussy."

"Take it. Don't hold back. Fuck it hard."

And so I do. I slip into her so easily, that unbelievably delicious wetness guiding me into the wonder that is her tight pussy.

I nibble on her right nipple, standing so proud and desperate. Her eyes roll back into her head and she lifts up in a wave, her nipple and pussy raising and allowing me in deeper. Her nipple, delectable as it is, will have to wait a bit. I need to focus on fucking her. My fists rest on both sides of her head as I begin plunging in and out at a relentless pace. She grunts with each thrust and I'd forgotten how much I love that sound.

Then I slow down. My movements are slow but deep. Valerie is wild, thrashing beneath me.

"More! Harder!"

But I'm a cruel bastard and I want to torture this side of Valerie. I'm pissed she's shattered the fantasy of the girl who used to blush when I only kissed her. Maybe this is what she means by fucking with my head—robbing me of some of the happiest moments of my life with a girl who no longer exists.

She's impatient with me now and starts humping back at me, letting my cock swirl around her walls with no help from me. Then I pop out and she groans, eagerly taking a hold of me and letting her pussy suck my dick right back in. She's a wanton slut, this woman beneath me, but when she looks up at me and the connection that's always been between us sparks as potently as ever, I wonder if it's not all an act. She's dropped her mask for a second, I think, and I feel a sliver of hope.

I circle my tongue around her other nipple and push it against my tongue when she whimpers.

"You're tormenting me," she moans, her voice throaty and deep.

She turns against my arm to hide the desperation in her face. I feel her eyelashes against the sensitive skin of my inner forearm. 

"Please, Michael, fuck me."

I have had some awesome sex. Some truly incredible experiences. But never, ever in my life have I been so ready to pound someone until the only word they know is my name.

I pull out and she's really pissed now. Her head swings back so she can glare at me. "Michael!"

I toy her clit with my thumb, and then press the slippery head of my cock against it. Her head flings back and I take the opportunity to suck her neck.

Her hips are wild against me, blindly searching to bring me back inside.

Only when I see her tears do I shove myself back in.

"Oh!" she screams. "You feel so good!"

I'm ready to come now and I can't wait to see her explode around me. My movements are intense, direct and purposeful. We're going to come together and it's going to be pure ecstasy. 

"Come on," I urge. "Come with me!"

My fingers slip between us and I rub them frantically against her. Her legs flail around, tensing and relaxing over and over again. I feel the warm rush of her release. Her breath stops, her mouth is slack and her eyes are stuck wide open. She gets rocked back and forth by my driving pumps.

It's going to be over soon, I realize, and we haven't even kissed. I can't allow that. I bend over and she opens her mouth to say something—probably to protest—but I don't give a fuck. I kiss her soft, wet lips and let my tongue fuck her hot mouth. She moans into it and her hands snake down to my ass, clutching it to bring me even closer. Her tongue rides along with mine and it's so fucking good I'm going to come any second.

I tear my mouth away and pant into her face, touching my forehead to hers. "I'm going to come, baby," I groan.

Her dark eyes glitter with excitement. This is what she wants most of all and I'm more than happy to give it to her.

I come in a great torrent. My body shudders like I'm a wet dog. My cock swells, and tightens and releases all over again inside her. When I'm finished I don't want to slip out of her, and it seems she's as desperate to keep me with her as I am.

But I have to come out. We both know that. I pull out and fall down next to her, chest heaving. My head turns to look at and I'm terrified at what I'll see. A mocking smile? A rueful frown? 

She merely looks satisfied. Content. Even a little tired. She looks back at me and a wicked smile curves her face. I grow concerned. But then she crawls down the bed until she's face to face with my cock. Her eyes stay focused on mine as she gives the head a long, wet, hungry lick. The remaining cum on it sticks to her tongue, and as she pulls her head back a long string of it follows. I swear another surge of cum drips from the slit. 

Then my cock's engulfed by her mouth. Her tongue swirls around, cleaning off every last bit of our cum off of me. Only when she's sure I'm licked clean does she join me back up by the pillows. 

I'm too numb to thank her, or kiss her, or hug her so hard we both burst.

"That was amazing," she announces after a few minutes.

"I'm glad you thought so. I think so, too."

Her eyes meet mine and she runs a hand up my chest. "It was as good as I remembered. Even better."

These are words any man wants to hear, and I grin. "Oh, yeah?"

She rolls her eyes and gets out of bed, not bothered in the slightest that I'm watching her walk around naked. 

She slips into the bathroom, presumably to clean up, and comes back out in sexy red lace panties and an oversized white t-shirt. She shivers her body under the covers and smiles at me when she seems me watching.

"You look confused."

"I am," I confess. "What the hell was that? What are we? What did this mean?"

She shuts me up with her mouth. "Not everything has to mean something."

"Cut the bullshit, Valerie. What was the point of this? To fuck with my mind more? Make me miss you more?"

She traces an invisible circle on my chest and keeps her eyes trained on it. "I thought I was over you. As over as you can be when it comes to your first love. We started talking. Of course I was attracted to you. I yearned for you. Then I snuck peeks and saw you watching me. You looked wrecked. I got what Tommy alluded to but never came out and said: you were lost without me."

She kisses my nipple. "I got a little intrigued. How far could I push things? Did I want to? And yeah, I wanted payback. I wanted to fuck with your head. I wanted you to feel, for five minutes, how hard it is to be a girl. Especially a girl in your fucking web."

Valerie's kisses on my chest are open-mouthed and wet. My cock springs to life and I'm insatiable. I'm seconds away from tugging her up and making her ride me when she starts talking again.

"And then this turned into a test. Could we resist one another? More importantly, can I resist you? Obviously not. And another part of me truly wanted a different last memory of us, because we were great together and it's not fair that it ended with such shit."

Her tongue slides down to my belly button and then runs a line across the bottom of my abdomen. The surface is ticklish and tender. I want her back, I think.

"I want you back," I say out loud.

Her mouth stops it languid journey and she lifts her head fully. Her hair runs across the tip of my sensitive cock.

"No you don't."

"I do. Desperately. I'll beg if you want."

"Michael... We're so different."

"No we aren't. We just need to reacquaint ourselves."

"Wade—"

"Is a pussy," I interject. "If I was dating you, there'd be no fucking chance we would have an open relationship. I'd be the only cock you knew. Ever."

I can see her warming to the idea. She likes it. Then she bites her fingernail and studies the shitty painting on the wall.

"I don't think I'd last another breakup with you."

"Me either," I agree, and it is truth.

Her dark eyes search mine, almost desperate to find lies in them. But there aren't any. I grew up. I had a taste of happiness too young when I was too stupid. I won't give that up now. 

Her head moves back down again and without any preamble she brings her cock deep into her throat.

My head falls back and I fist the sheets. "Fuck!"


The sensation of her hair all over my pelvis, my thighs, even caught up with my dick is outrageous. My hand shakily clutches a bunch of it, mindlessly pushing and pulling her onto my dick.

She lets me fuck her mouth for a while and then she releases me, straddling me so she can ride me. She swings her long hair back over shoulder and makes my cock disappear inside her. She grinds down against me, letting her clit mash against the root of my dick.

My hands greedily run up the sides of her body before finding their homes cupping her breasts. Her eyes drift shut and she's so fucking beautiful on top of me.

One of my hand drops down so I can flick her clit. I want to watch her have a devastating orgasm again and that usually is the way to do it.

It doesn't fail me. She shakes through a tremendous orgasm that seems to go on forever. I lift my hips up and hammer into her to prolong it, and she begs me to stop, but I don't. She is beaming and glowing when the orgasm subsidies, and then becomes dedicated to drive me nuts.

Her stride is fast and rough. I'm going to come soon. I scream this at her but she acts as if she doesn't hear, fucking me like a mad woman. Her dark hair flies around us and her soaked pussy grows wetter by the second. She leans back and rests her hands by my knees so I can have a better view of me sinking into her. Her pace picks up again.

I'm going crazy. I'm biting my lip, I'm screaming, I'm practically crying. 


Then I erupt. She feels the first gush of cum and pulls herself off, sitting beneath my dick and jerking it off so that I splatter her stomach. It's a fuckhot sight and I come even harder because of it.

She laughs when I come down, and then disappears into the bathroom to wipe off my spunk.

When she gets back to bed with me, I tug her close. "Will I see you again?"

She's quiet for a moment. I can feel her take a deep breath. "Maybe."

"Maybe means no."

"Does an 'I don't know' sound better to you?"

"Let me take you to dinner." I don't care how desperate I sound.

"Let me think about it. Call me. Maybe next week, okay?"

"I don't have your number anymore," I pointed out. 

I could hear her smile. "You'll have it soon enough. Might have to work for it, though."

I'll take it. I smile as I fall asleep, my face buried in her hair.

********

When I wake up, I have no idea where I am. I'm laying on wrinkled sheets, I have a hangover and I smell Valerie's perfume.

Valerie! 

I touch her side of the bed but she's not there. A little of her makeup is smeared on her pillow. I pull it over to me and take a whiff (I'm weird, so what). 




Valerie



"Valerie?" I call, but the only place she could be is the bathroom and I see it's open a bit, and dark.

Maybe she went out for coffee, I assume. Not surprising she didn't leave a note. I'm a little pissed off but whatever.

We have to go downstairs for brunch soon. Every one will be there. I wonder how I'll be able to stare her father in her eye, laugh with Tom, knowing what I did to their daughter and sister the night before.

An hour passes. Valerie doesn't come back. I do what I didn't want to do in the first place: I text Tom.

"You hear from Valerie?"

"Yeah," is his annoyingly succinct reply.

"Know where she is?"

"Back in LA. Or in flight. Dunno."

I sit down on the bed. I don't even have her fucking number. "What's her #?"

Ten agonizing minutes later he answers me. "Between you two. Not getting involved. See you at brunch."

I don't bother shaving. I shuffle downstairs, looking like shit, and make a beeline for Tom.

"It's important," I say, ignoring Theresa's glare. 

"She made me promise not to give it to you." Tom sighs and looks at Theresa, who is making some pretty interesting expressions. "Look, it's the day after my wedding. I can't worry about your drama anymore."

And then he lets Theresa drag him off to say hello to all her aunts and uncles again and I'm lost. 

Valerie has fucked me, and fucked me over. She's gotten her revenge. I can't begrudge her too much; I deserved it.

I leave the brunch early, pick up a bottle of rum on my way home and get obliterated as soon as I open the door to my apartment.

*****************

Two weeks later I'm sicker than I've ever been in my entire life. The flu like I've never seen it has ravaged my town and I am the latest victim. I rest in bed, texting my friends and even my mom to complain. Truthfully the illness is a respite from having my heart stomped on.

Then I call in sick to school, but they want me to call the substitute teacher myself. Such pains in the asses, I think to myself, but I scroll through my address book on my iPhone. Mandy, her name is, I think.

But before I get there my eyes catch on something. I scroll upwards.

"Never Same Woman Twice" is a new entry for sure, and I know who it is even before I press "call". She was always big on serendipity, on destiny. I can imagine her now, the morning after we had sex, staring at me sleeping and as unsure about it all as I was. So she relied on fate. 

"If he finds me, it's meant to be," she probably told herself. 

I'm irritated, but more than that I'm fucking elated.

She answers almost immediately. She's groggy though and I remember she's still on the west coast and three hours behind. 

"Valerie," I breathe.

"Took you long enough, jeesh. Do you have a cold?"

"The flu," I mutter distractedly. "What if I never found this, you crazy girl?"

"Our paths would have crossed again some day."

I roll my eyes and rest my head against the pillow. Pain in the ass.

"So what girl are you today?"

She is silent for a while and I would wonder if she is still there if I couldn't hear her breathing.

"The kind of girl who packs up all she owns to move back to NY and start all over. With everything and everyone."

"With me?"

"We'll see," she says, a smile in her voice.

"'We'll see' means no," I laugh.

I'm laughing but I'm really dying inside because all I want is to touch her.

"Bye, Michael. Rest up."

"When are you coming back?" I manage to ask before she hangs up.

"A month, maybe. Could be two."

"Call me? I want to get to know you again. Please."

"You must be on some really awesome flu medicine."

"Valerie."

"I'll call you," she promises and then I hear nothing.

***********

We don't really speak again. Tom is off in la-la-land and he meant it when he said he didn't want to be in the middle.

I've sent her a few texts. Her answers are curt and discouraging.

Her last simply said, "Will call you when I'm town." 

I didn't expect hearts and flowers but I thought we were on a path to something great again.

I've just left school one spring afternoon and I hear my phone go off. I connect with bluetooth and say "Hello?" just as I come up to a red light.

Silence for a moment. Then, "Michael? It's me. I'm in town."

I take a deep breath. "Valerie." 

The light turns green.



Valerie



She was caught off-guard when he whisked her discreetly to the security office and questioned her. She felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. 

"No. I didn't." She stammered. 

"Yes, you did. I saw you. You put it down your..." He motioned to her 34 DDs. "....down your ... shirt." 

His accusatory stare sliced right through her making her feel like a vulnerable little girl. Shame welled up in her golden eyes, and she felt the first hot tear cascade down her cheek.

"It was the first time," she sobbed. "I p-promise. I'll never do it again. P-please let me go." Of course, it wasn't the first time. Of course, she'd do it again, but she didn't really want to. She just couldn't help herself and she didn't know why. 

Hiding anything from the stormy blue eyes confronting her was impossible. She could see the liar she was in them, and it scared her. 

"I'm sorry." She sobbed. "I'm so so sorry!" Casting her eyes down in guilt she caught a glimpse of her tears dripping onto her heaving breasts. A box of tissue appeared somewhere between her eyes and the floor, and she took some. Not able bear her accuser's eyes she kept her gaze beneath his badge as she sobbed and dabbed her eyes. She thought of the movie Mall Cops and all the lame, creepy security guards she had encountered in shopping malls before, but, although he was no prince, he certainly wasn't lame or stupid. Late forties she guessed, a little bit of a belly, strong arms and a rugged, yet, not too ugly, face. The eyes she couldn't look into were intelligent, cold and scary; yet, somehow, compassionate. His eyes were his best feature and... "Oh, my God!" she shuddered to herself. "Am I checking him out? He could be my father!" She heaved another sob, and, with it, her big bare bosom swelled out the top of her tank and jiggled again. 

Not that he didn't notice the lithe curve of her young body and her big firm naturals spilling over like root beer floats... he just didn't let it affect him. He noticed but didn't ogle her and averted his eyes whenever he caught himself "noticing." Besides, having raised a daughter of his own, he was more concerned about the young lady's condition than he was her body. 

"Okay, then." He said. "Put it on the table."

She dug into the cleavage of her immense shelf and pulled out the eye-brow liner. She still could not meet his gaze.

"The rest," he ordered. She reached in back of her, under the waist of her low-cut jeans to produce a lip-stick that she'd concealed in the crease of her pleasantly round derriere. 

"Is that all?" Biting her lower lip and pushing her long blond bangs out of her eyes she looked up at him and nodded.

"Take a seat." he motioned to the metal chair at the plastic table. 

He slid a chair up opposite hers, sat down and folded his hands.

"So you aren't some poor, broke girl who needs to steal make-up, are you?"

Valerie shook her head.

"You're just a little spoiled college girl who gets her thrills stealing things she could easily buy. Well, you know what? This is going to cost you a whole lot more than it's worth."

Shaking her head in denial, she started bawling again. "Oh God! Please. No. Can we handle this somehow? I can't have a record. I just applied to law school. I'm graduating summa cum laude. This will ruin my life." Once again the double d's heaved and jiggled with her sobs and the tears formed glistening streams as they dripped into the valley of her beautiful bosom. Steve pushed the tissue to her and she buried her face in its soft white folds.

She whimpered a minute or two before she finally looked up. Big golden eyes, glazed and red from crying, pleaded with him. "Sir, I really need to, somehow, make this go away. I'll do anything, anything you want, if you can just let me go." 

"Oh boy," steve sighed. You've a problem, haven't you? Seeing you go down the tubes for a lipstick and eyeliner is a tragedy, but you're not going to stop stealing, are you? You'll get caught, again, because you're a kleptomaniac. You realize that don't you? You can't stop stealing."

"You're good at it, too. Look on the security tape, and, unless someone really knew what was going on, they could never tell. You reach in back to pull your shirt down and you got the lipstick. You reach down your front to pull the v of your tank up and you got the eye-liner."

"I need to see some I.D." The tiny purse dangling from the gold chain on her shoulder barely fit her I.D. which was wrapped in four $100 bills. 

Steve chuckled when he saw the money and picked up her I.D. "Valerie... pretty name," he said and copied her information. Then he stared at the writing pad and tapped his pencil. "Valerie, Valerie, Valerie. What are we going to do?" 

Steve clicked the ID on the table, handed it back to her and fixed her with a stare. She lowered her eyes and drew her shoulders up as though she considered it all and had no answer. And though she tried to control her emotions, she let out a little whimper, then another and had to struggle from breaking down again. 

Steve studied the young lady in front of him and thought about his own daughter. Certainly his girl had had her share of mistakes before she got it right. She made it though, and was living a very successful life. Steve was proud of his daughter and he felt sorry for the young woman sitting across from him. He wanted to help her if he could. 

"Tell you what Valerie. I don't think we caught you on security tape, and just between us, I didn't find anything on you; so, we're going to make a deal. Since you can't go into a store without stealing something, you come see me every day. You browse these aisles and buy one thing every day that I'm on duty for 50 days. Maybe if you know you're being watched, you can overcome the impulse to steal."

Hearing what Steve said, Valerie raised her eyes from her despair. She bit her lip for a second, found the courage to meet Steve's gaze, and asked, "But what if I do?"

"Then I'll spank you." Steve dead-panned. 

It took a second or two, but Valerie's tear stricken face relaxed and she let out a little chuckle. "Maybe that's what I need," she joked. 

"Well, Valerie. You need something, or you wouldn't be doing this. An educated, sophisticated, beautiful, young woman like you has to be missing something in her life to be a klepto. Maybe by shopping here every day without stealing anything, you can find out what it is. If it were simple as a spanking, I'd give you good hard one, but that's probably not it, Valerie."

She wasn't stupid. Valerie knew she was a kleptomaniac, but on her own, she had never been able to do anything about it. She hated herself for it but for some reason the satisfaction, or thrill, or whatever she got out of stealing things, was greater than the self-loathing she felt afterword. She looked at Steve and saw concern and kindness in the eyes that frightened her. "Who is this man?" she thought. "A Mall Cop? Isn't it beneath me to be counseled by an hourly wage employee? ... but he makes sense.." 

And he was offering her a chance and some help; so,Valerie put away the shreds of pride she had left, listened respectfully, and nodded in agreement.

"So, listen, I have to get back out there. You leave out that door." Steve pointed to the back entrance of the security office. "That way nobody sees you and neither one of us gets caught. You come at 4 tomorrow afternoon, look over the aisles for 7 minutes and buy one thing. You might not see me but I'll see you, so don't do it, or I will catch you. Okay?"

"Really, Sir? You're really going to let me go?"

"If you agree to my terms."

"Oh, I do. Oh thank you so much. I'll be here tomorrow. I'll do whatever you want."

"Well, just shop and don't steal anything. That's all you have to do. Also, when you come to the store, don't act like you know me or even recognize me. You understand that wouldn't be good, don't you? I need to protect my job. If you need to talk to me or something, when you leave, I'll go to the security office and you can knock on the back door. Sound good?"

Valerie nodded and then the impulse came over her to hug him and Steve caught Valerie's wrists and held them firmly keeping her away. "Hey, it's alright. I'm not your Daddy, okay? Just shop for me, and don't steal. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Sir," Valerie replied. Steve released his grip on her wrists and Valerie offered Steve her hand. Steve wrapped his hand around hers and Valerie asked "May I know your name?" 

"Sir is fine, Valerie; just call me Sir. Now go home, and try to figure out what Valerie is missing in her life that Valerie would throw it away so cheaply."



Valerie - A Deep and Dark December



Note- The following is copyrighted. Legal notice appears at the end of the story.

*

A winter's day, "in a deep and dark December". Sally Thatcher shivered violently as she stepped out of the house she and Valerie Burbon had shared for five years. Sally wore the down-filled neck-to-ankle coat Valerie had given her, but no shoes and no other clothing. Master Charles had ordered her to wear nothing else but the adult diaper and the belt, pins and pad beneath that fitted tightly against her buttocks and vagina. She ran to the taxi and jumped into it, past the door Valerie held for her.

"Squinch over, darling," said Valerie, climbing in next to her lover, friend and soul-mate. 

Valerie at least wore high fur-lined boots, a black micro-skirt and a mauve camisole under her down-filled neck-to-ankle coat.

Ralph, the taxi driver, knew his fares well. "Hi, ladies," he rumbled, "the usual?"

"Right," said Valerie. Ralph knew the way almost blindfolded (what a cute idea, thought Valerie; Ralph blindfolded--lots of possibilities. Ralph was chubby, slightly pasty--a few good whacks on his fat ass and who knew what could happen? "Down, girl" she told herself).

The Lincoln Town Car rolled neatly out of their driveway, onto Spring Street and turned right toward the Interstate. Just one Southbound exit, a hard left at the head of the exit ramp, hit the brakes at the gate to The Estates, and up the hill to Master's House.

"The horse knows the way," thought Valerie, "through the freshly fallen silent shroud of snow."

Cold. Minus eight Celsius, even at noon. Snow everywhere, the sky grey and dim through the trees.

Finally, the driveway and the porte cochère. 

Ralph was the beneficiary because Valerie was a generous tipper, now that her pay at Delgrasi Publications matched her advertising sales and production skills, and Sally's disaster control business had turned back from the brink of disaster. 

Valerie and Sally had had to beat Francine Traline into submission (literally--pun intended) to force Francine to take the money for Francine's share of the house she refused to live in. Such a talented, inventive Domme, crying on the floor as Valerie rolled the bank check for the $100,000 into a cylinder and shoved it into Francine's red, beaten cunt. "I love you, you damned bitch!" Valerie had screamed. "Sally loves you too, so take the damned money, it's shit compared to what I feel for you!" 

Valerie mused, "I wonder what the bank teller thought when she got the check," and giggled.

Sally moved closer to Valerie, and almost touched her hand, although Master had forbidden contact between them for this week. Sally thought about Valerie's mouth on her clitoris, Valerie's fingers in her anus, then Valerie's beautiful fingers twisting her nipples, her nails raking Sally's belly, pinching her skin, slapping her hard wherever she could reach, Sally screaming out Valerie's name again and again as her orgasms piled one atop the other, like heavy surf rolling on a moonlit beach. Then she stopped; she might accidentally climax, and that would be infidelity to her Master.

But here was Herman the butler, and the open door, and Sally running in to get to the warmth. And both of them shedding their coats. 

"Valerie, it's good to see you, but Master wants you naked," said Herman.

Valerie removed her coat, boots, skirt and camisole, and handed them to Herman. Sally kept the diaper and its contents on. Herman nodded, and deftly closeted Valerie's clothes and Sally's coat. "Master is in the lounge. You know the way."

Valerie led Sally into the lounge. Charles Arthur Jameson Vanquil, sitting on the 18th Century Chesterfield sofa, on which he had first hand-fucked Valerie to orgasm after orgasm so many years earlier, looked lazily up from his laptop computer. He wore a Gieves & Hawkes three-piece navy pinstripe suit, Turnbull & Asser light pink shirt, with an L. Van Hees striped tie and black patent leather boots. A naked, plump, dark haired woman lay at his feet.

"Ah, Valerie, and dear Sally too. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Master, your orders," said Valerie, as she and Sally knelt in front of him.

"Out of the way, bitch," snapped Charles to the naked woman kneeling at his feet. She crawled away on hands and knees, her plump buttocks and her fleshy cunt twitching as she went.

"Oh, this is my new acquisition, Yvonne. Say hello to Valerie and Sally, two of the best subs I have ever known."

"Hello, Mistress Valerie and Mistress Sally. How may I serve you?"

"Moron! I didn't say they were Mistresses!" yelled Charles, picking up a paddle marked Ruffnex Mizzou '56 and landing a solid blow to Yvonne's underside, causing her to squeal. "She really is a pig, but I love to flog a fat ass and thump some fat tits." Yvonne turned toward him, and a second blow landed on her left nipple, causing a scream.

Charles had taken up collecting, and using, exotic flogging materials.

"Now you may warm Miss Sally's feet," said Charles, in a quiet voice, the anger of a moment before now forgotten. "Sally, sit here beside me," said Charles, and as Sally rose Charles absently stuck a finger inside her diaper. 

"Good girl, you kept it all together. Now," turning to Yvonne, "do Miss Sally's feet."

Yvonne took Sally's toes, one by one, into her mouth, suckling them and warming them. She licked Sally's insteps. As the soles of Sally's feet were dirty and Master Charles was a stickler for hygiene, Yvonne warmed the soles of Sally's feet between her breasts. "Amazing what you ladies can do with a pair of tits," Charles chuckled.

"Now, before anything else we shall see how you obeyed my orders. Failure means punishment, and I want to see how Yvonne can handle a flogger and a tawse. Sally, you first."

Sally removed the diaper, exposing the belt and pad. She undid the clip at the front of her abdomen, and showed the pad to Master Charles.

"Good, splendid flow, plenty more where that came from. Now unclip the back and let me see it all. Yvonne, get the paper towel and make sure none of that blood gets on my rug. If any does, your blood will follow. Metaphorically, we hope." 

Yvonne held the paper towel against Sally's vulva, catching the trickle of red menstrual blood. Charles examined the pad, sniffed it, remarked "'98 Chateauneuf-du-Pape Vieux Telegraphe it isn't, but 'twill serve," and told Yvonne to pin the pad back onto Sally's belt, and put on a fresh diaper on her.

"Now, Valerie, let's see how you are dealing with the lunar tides. Yvonne, remove Miss Valerie's tampon--with your teeth, and if you bite her lovely pussy, I will pull out your public hair. In handfuls."

Valerie stood up and spread her long legs wide apart ("My word, besides being bi you do have a wide stance," said Charles, "you must consider running for the Senate"), and Yvonne crawled underneath her, lifting her head and mouth toward Valerie's engorged pussy.

Like bobbing for apples upside down, Yvonne tried to put her tongue on the narrow string that hung limply down from the tampon, but the string was short and the tampon well inserted. Yvonne's tongue touched Valerie's labia again and again, lightly and then less lightly, but the string eluded her. 

Valerie started to become aroused, but Master Charles said sternly, "None of that, you are both on stimulus and orgasm restriction. Speaking of stimulus restriction, if only I had Ben Bernanke here---ah well, disappointment comes even to Doms of the highest order." He absently, almost wistfully, took up Ruffnex Mizzou and brandished it once.

Yvonne's tongue scraped against Valerie's clitoris, causing a slight shudder, which provoked Charles to bring Ruffnex Mizzou into play against Valerie's ass and Yvonne's back. Then Yvonne caught the string, rolled it in her mouth, caressing it with her tongue, and gently pulled the tampon, soaked with menstrual blood and fluid, from Valerie's vagina.

She crawled to Master Charles like a retriever and proffered the prize.

"Good bitch," said Charles, stroking her hair and patting her cheek. "Now keep the paper towel between Miss Valerie's cunt and the floor, while I look--Good afternoon, my dear."

Sally slid quickly from the couch, and knelt in front of Master Charles as his Lady appeared at the doorway.

Lady Nadine glided into the room. Her soft, almost ethereal steps belied her sturdy body, hardened and sculpted by weight training, boxing and bicycling. Her "little black dress" was almost unnoticeable, unless one could tell it was the work of a master couturière. Her black Manolo Blahniks seemed barely to touch the floor. Diamonds sparkled from her tiny tennis bracelet as she lifted her hand to her husband's lips, and the fancy canary yellow mined diamond ring on her finger belied its simplicity. Valerie saw that Lady Nadine was wearing a good year's income plus a healthy bonus for the average Delgrasi employee.

"My love," she said, kissing his hands in turn, "how nice you are home today, the one good thing about this horrid weather. We were so short-handed at the shelter, between the snow and the holidays, I was run ragged." Lady Nadine volunteered at a shelter for battered women. As she came into her home, she had changed out of the old sweatshirt, ragged jeans and boots she wore when she volunteered, and of course when at the shelter did not wear any jewelry except her plain white gold wedding ring.

Lady Nadine went on, "and one poor girl had her lips split top and bottom, two black eyes with open sores around them, and I think a couple of broken ribs, a Christmas present from her 'boyfriend'. I was putting some antiseptic on her forehead, where he had cut her as he blackened her eyes, when he showed up, despite the protective order."

As Charles greeted his Lady, Yvonne had placed a fresh tampon in Valerie's vagina with a practiced hand. Valerie enjoyed the contact. Yvonne remained kneeling, with the used tampon hanging from her mouth. Valerie then knelt beside Sally.

"My dear, you should have called. I would have had the brute attended to."

"My dearest love, no need. I had that lovely taser you gave me. The creature shoved aside Willis, our new security man, and put his hand on me to push me away--"

Charles growled, "If he hurt you he can kiss his balls goodbye."

"My love, wholly unnecessary, do not fret yourself. I placed the taser in his crotch and gave him 50,000 of the very best volts. I think I will bring him to the next meeting of the Board of Trustees of the Opera Society, if he is out of jail by then. We are doing Die Zauberflöte, and he will make a wonderful Queen of the Night, if he hits the same notes at the audition as well as he hit them today." Lady Nadine was a patroness of the Opera Society. She began humming Mozart's famous aria.

"Madam," said Charles, "I should never doubt you. But you will excuse me just a moment--oh, please sit down." She sat beside her husband, putting her hand on his groin.

"How nice to see you missed me," she said. She began humming again. "Perhaps tonight Beethoven," she said thoughtfully, imagining what to hum as she fellated Charles. 

"Just not the Hammerklavier sonata, my love, and I do get to reciprocate. Fellatio and cunnilingus--who could resist?" said Charles.

"My darling man, if I were vulgar I'd say you just said a mouthful," she giggled.

"I must conclude my interview here, dearest, please forgive me."

He carefully removed the tampon from Yvonne's mouth, patted her head absent-mindedly, and, holding it by the string, examined the tampon. It was shrunken and turning dark brown as the blood congealed.

"Excellent," said Charles. "Save this with the others, and we will make a fine necklace for you to wear at your coming-out at Mephisto's." 

Turning to Valerie and Sally, "If you wondered at this menstrual fancy of mine, I am having various of my subs and my fellow Doms' subs save their used tampons to make Yvonne a necklace to wear to Mephisto's. Betsy Flanagan and her door people are also contributing. I got the idea from Sitting Bull, actually. I once saw a necklace his Lakhota warriors presented him, made from the bones of the trigger-fingers of Custer's men. I would have liked to acquire it, but I believe it's in the Smithsonian or some such place. Priceless, of course. But the aroma cannot equal Yvonne's necklace, can it, little one?"

"No Master, you are so good to your slave, Master," said Yvonne. "I call her my little Seven-Eleven," said Charles, "she works weekends at one of them, and is only available to me on weekdays."

Turning back to Yvonne, Charles, placing the business end of the tampon in Yvonne's hand while dropping the string, said "Now take a good sniff and show it to Herman, and he will show you where to have it hung out to dry." Yvonne sniffed, and scampered from the room, not quickly enough to avoid one last dismissal from Ruffnex Mizzou.

"And now, Valerie and Sally, you will continue your menstrual control through the end of your periods. I am pleased you have been able to synchronize your cycles as I wished, such a happy coincidence. Now please remember, plenty of fluids but no alcohol and no diuretics while you are menstruating. I want plenty of flow."

Sally slightly nudged Charles' arm. "Permission to speak granted, slave," he said.

"Master, am I to keep saving my used napkins?"

"Of course, slave."

"And giving them to you?"

"Yes."

"What will you do with them, Master?"

"Why, my dear Sally, you know better that to question your Master." Ruffnex Mizzou caught Sally first on one arm, then the other; she yelped.

"However," he went on, "I am feeling rather expansive just now, of which generous condition I do hope neither of you will attempt to take undue advantage. So, my dear Sally, answering your impertinent question, first I will direct you to sign and date each napkin. Some of them you will use to wipe your vagina after play, and you will date and autograph those in contrasting colors, as I direct. I will take all of them to Mephisto's and auction them for charity, to benefit the homeless shelter at your little church and for Lady Nadine's shelter for battered women. Any of those not sold at Mephisto's I will offer to the readers of Literotica, in an on-line charity auction. I can well imagine some of the more avid among them bankrupting themselves to be able to smell, or lick, one of your used sanitary napkins, especially one soaked with your blood and cum, and masturbating themselves into a gibbering insane frenzy, cumming again and again, imagining they are consummating their love with their sweet Sally, as they squirt their fluids onto their precious relic, merging with yours." 

"Oh, how sweet," said Valerie, earning a sharp tap from Ruffnex Mizzou. Lady Nadine smiled, "charming."

"Now," said Charles, "all restraints previously ordered remain in force. Tell me, why did you come to see me on a week day?"

"Master," Valerie began slowly, "your slave first came to you at a time in her life when she was in despair. I buried myself in work and meaningless, loveless sex. Because of my pain I was of no use to anyone. Then I met you, and Sally, and Rachel and Giggy, and suffered with Francine and forgave her, and my life became wonderful.

"But the pain of Mike's death never left me, and I have it still. He gave up something he held dearest in the world for me--he gave up being a father. I can't have children; my tubes are scarred and can't be repaired. Mike wanted to adopt, but I just couldn't bring myself. He gave up what he loved best for me...."

Charles interrupted Valerie. "We know all that. Spare us. How about IVF?"

"In vitro?" 

"Yes, in vitro. If you need a sperm donor I would be happy to add you to my "A" list as a prospective donee...."

"Ahem, my dearest husband," said Lady Nadine.

"Your pardon once more, my dearest love. And yours, Valerie. I have a prior exclusive commitment along those lines, featuring direct insemination, coming soon, my Lady and my love, to the vagina nearest you. Please accept my regrets, Valerie." 

"Master, I cannot have a baby, but Sally can. She is my life partner and my soul's other half. I want her to have our baby. And since Mike cannot be the father, I want his brother to be the donor."

"Oh yes, the kidney man. Your Mike looked after his family during and after the surgery."

"Master, how do you know that?"

"It's on the internet, of course, along with everything else in the visible universe. But won't Joe's wife object?"

"Master, Joe's wife threw me out of the Burbon family after Mike died and I pledged myself to Sally. Eve is a total Bible-bashing, "queer"-hating, vicious woman. I would take her abuse for Joe's and his children's sake, for Stephanie's sake (Mike's mom), but this woman told Joe and Stephanie that they had to choose between her and me. Joe loves her, and Stephanie was fearful that she would lose her granddaughters (they are darlings, and I miss them terribly). George, Mike's dad, died shortly after Mike; Mike's death killed him and nearly killed Stephanie. Only her granddaughters, and her need to keep their mother from ruining them, keeps her alive. Diane, Mike's sister, had moved to Japan to teach by then, and doesn't get back to the States much at all. I've exchanged e-mails with her, but very few.

"Master, I am willing to take Eve Burbon's venom, crawl to her, even put Sally in the face of that filth and pain, just to get something of Mike's, something as precious as Sally's baby. I must do it, whatever happens. I can still hear her screaming, "You damned bitch, you rotten stinking perverted whore, don't you dare call yourself Burbon! Stay away from my children! I'll kill you if you come near my babies! You're worse than any criminal, you ought to be burned alive, you and your whore girlfriend. God hates you, you should die of AIDS and burn in Hell like your queer faggot friends---"

"That's enough, Valerie," said Lady Nadine, "I have heard that at the shelter from the mother of a lesbian teenager we took in with her face slashed with a razor...no, the mother didn't do it, some boys thought that it was fun to terrorize a 'lezzie'. And that was her mother's sympathy after she threw the girl out of her home. Please, spare us the rest."

Sally was crying softly. Valerie said, "Master, I beg you---"

Charles waved his hand impatiently, pulled Sally to him and held her. He seized Valerie's hand and pulled Valerie toward them. They hugged each other. Lady Nadine sat staring at the rug.

Charles spoke, "It gets better, it really does. I know it hurts, you want to die, the people who you love hurt you, the whole world hates you, and it seems like death is the answer, but it gets better."

"Master, let me go speak to Joe and Eve."

Sally said, "Master, if Valerie goes, I go too."

Charles looked thoughtful, then spoke. "Slaves, especially you, Valerie, be very careful. What you will be telling Eve is very hurtful. You are trying to take her husband from her--" Valerie angrily shook her head-- "no, Valerie, I know you intend no physical contact between Joe and Sally, but that's not the point. You want Joe to give Sally a Burbon baby. Eve threw you out of that family. I could see the resentment, pain and yes, the hatred in your face just now when you told us what she said then. But what will she think of you when you go to her house and ask for Joe's sperm to make your baby? Are you sure this isn't your answer to Eve cursing you and Sally? Are you absolutely sure you're not doing this to cause Eve pain, to get back at her, to hit her where it will hurt the most? If you're not ready to forgive her, I won't tell you not to go, but I urge you--don't go if you can't forgive her for then, and forgive her for now."

The blood had drained from Valerie's face as Master spoke. "Master, all of that may be true, but I will call Joe and ask to see them. I'll say nothing about why. If they say no, it's over. And Sally dearest darling love, we will have that baby, I swear it!"




Valerie - A Deep and Dark December



"Valerie, one more such outburst from you, and you will seriously wish you had restrained yourself. You must not tax your Master's patience." Ruffnex Mizzou struck edgewise on her shoulder, causing her to cry out briefly.

"Why, my dear," said Lady Nadine, with a delicately mocking smile to Charles, "you are growing quite philosophical for a Dom in a jerkoff story. Until you spoke so eloquently just now, I had almost forgotten you graduated from Harvard. Whatever would the Hasty Pudding boys think?"

"Now slaves," said Charles, "get dressed and go to work. It's after 2 o'clock, and I will not permit my slaves to risk employment, health or liberty. Go!"

Turning to Lady Nadine, he said, "My dear, will you join me for a late lunch? I can forgive your Foxcroft and Wellesley diplomas, and even your Phi Beta Kappa key, if you can forgive me Harvard and mine. And of course the dear Hasty Pudding boys." As they rose from the couch, Lady Nadine smiled and took his hand.

***********************************

Six o'clock. Sally shut down her laptop and put it away. She had gotten out the last of the e-mailed proposals for new clients. She heard the door of Valerie's Lexus slam, and her boots walking across the garage as the garage door closed. 

Quickly Sally shucked her bathrobe, knelt on the floor in front of the entrance door, her head to the floor and her face turned away, with her buttocks and vagina exposed. Her period had ended earlier and she had carefully washed her cunt.

Valerie walked in, radiating cold. Sally shivered.

"I need to start dinner," said Valerie, who disliked cooking. "I feel like stoving over a hot slave tonight." She laughed. "Get up, Twinklestar, no play tonight. We're on restriction, in case you'd forgotten. I can't even lay a tap on that lovely cunt."

Sally stood up, splendid in her nakedness, her body open and utterly receptive. Valerie sighed. "One Martini each (I'm just about finished with my period), and then let's get dinner. Oh how I want you."

Sally started singing to Valerie: "I love you, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck, cause I love you". It was the song Sally's mother, long dead, sang to Sally as a baby.

Valerie looked fiercely at Sally, her eyes bright with tears. "I love you more, dammit, I love you more. I want you to have Mike's baby, my baby. I will fucking KILL for that baby!"

***************************************

Valerie decided that work was the answer. No touching Sally, no love, so girl, you gotta work. The alarm went off at 4:30. Valerie had slept in the third bedroom, the River Room they called it (corny, because denial is a river in Egypt). It was cold and bare, purposely, not to encourage any forbidden activity.

Valerie's shower was brief, much as she yearned for the hot water and a hotter hand on her vulva. A can of liquid breakfast, a half cup of black instant store-brand coffee (tasting like she felt, hot and bitter) and she dressed hastily, doing her makeup with less than her usual care.

Sally staggered downstairs, half-awake. Valerie blew her a kiss and said "Don't come nearer in that bathrobe, or it's cookies for both of us when Master finds out I raped you before you even had your orange juice."

Sally dropped the bathrobe and stood naked before her love. "Goodbye, Mistress, I love you."

"Bye sweetheart." And out the door she went, hoping the cold would kill the pain she felt, denying even a kiss to the woman she loved.

June had a fresh cup of good coffee waiting for her, her computer booted with her e-mails displayed, and a quick précis of the latest gossip.

"Mary's review was stunning, the ponies love the new Pony's Paddock format, we're under budget this month on ad production costs, and the Colonel is glowing." The CEO of Delgrasi was a former Army lieutenant colonel, and was referred to as such. "The Colonel says 'buck up and keep going'. You have a 2:45 meeting with Mr. Hogginbottom from Modern Watersports. They want to advertise their new line of underwater wear."

It was a good day. The Colonel liked to say that a hit on the brass was worth ten on the enemy. Valerie tended to agree.

Lunchtime came and went. Valerie had a tuna salad and a diet tea at her desk, replying to e-mails and IMs without a break, until nature called and she went to the ladies'.

Nature satisfied, she removed the tampon and as she had said the previous night, her period had ended. She put the used tampon in a plastic bag for Master. Yvonne was in for quite a Saturday night. She expected Master might suggest an auction to her as part of her coming-out.

"If I can get off restriction I might just bid for Yvonne myself," Valerie thought, "and give Sally a treat. That fat butt could take a lot of hits, and Sally would love that plump cunt to pieces. Oh well, back to the grind, and that pompous fool Hogginbottom will try to put a move on me again, like I'd spread in exchange for a fucking two-page spread in Popular Sub Swimsuit Edition ...."

Another loveless night at home, albeit with a great chicken dinner Sally worked all afternoon to prepare and a really good Russian River chardonnay (no play, no sex, no period, so wine was permitted). Sally's work was going well; she gave Valerie some pretty large checks to deposit (Valerie did all their finances).

Next morning was Decision Day. Valerie decided to come to the office later than usual (warning June the night before by IM) and call Joe Burbon from home. She would call him at his work.

Joe, like Mike, worked construction jobs. Unlike Mike, Joe was not a foreman, just a laborer. Construction being dead between the economy and winter, Joe drove a snowplow for the town he lived in, and picked up whatever odd jobs he could get.

Diane gave Valerie Joe's work number at the county office, in response to an e-mail, surprisingly without a warning about Eve's hatred. Valerie wondered: is this a set-up?

Best to be prepared. Bring a taser? Better than a gun, for sure. No dead bodies, no blood.

She called the town office in the distant county where Joe lived and worked. "Maintenance". "Joe Burbon, please". Without covering the receiver, the woman who answered called out "Hey, Bourbon, it's some broad and you got five minutes personal."

Joe's voice was strong, like his brother's. "Burbon," he said.

Valerie took the deepest breath she could, her chest tighter than any corset ever made it. "Joe, it's Valerie." "Valerie who?" "Valerie" her chest was aching, her throat was tight, she gulped "Burbon." 

"What the fuck?! Why are you calling now?"

"I need to talk to you and Eve."

"What about?" 

"I need to do it in person, not on the phone."

"Bring your girlfriend then."

"Why? Eve will kill her, she'll---"

"You want to talk, bring her. If you don't, then don't. I gotta go."

"I want to talk."

"Give me a number I can reach you at, say in an hour. I gotta work and call Eve."

Valerie gave her cellphone number. Joe said, "I'll call you." "Goodbye, Joe." "Maybe yes, maybe no," he said, and rang off. 

Maybe yes, maybe no. Not much. Sally looked the question.

"He said he will call. If I go, you must go too. But this could be an instant replay of Harv." Harv tried to kill his former lover, Francine; the bullet meant for Francine deformed the cartouche on Valerie's precious collar.

"I'll bring my collar. We go together."

"I wish you could bring a .44 magnum."

"Mistress, no."

"All right, no. I must run, baby. Till soon." Air kiss, and run.

********************************* 

Valerie couldn't focus. June had some lovely gossip about Imogene the receptionist rubber girl and her new boyfriend Froggy the sticky-tongued, and Mary's assistant Javier's new love (a newly-arrived muscleman from Senegal with an apparently inexhaustible seminal capacity--"I mean, Mary my dear, four times in just two hours, and positively flooded me each time! I've been farting cum all day."), and "you have a hush-hush staff meeting post-lunch. The buzz is that it's bonus time, and my babies need shoes. Calendar otherwise clear," but Valerie just made the appropriate (or inappropriate) responses automatically. She let her coffee get cold (June raised her eyebrows and looked down her nose at this). 

"Valerie, are you all right? Is something wrong with you and Sally?"

"June dear, no, it's all good. We're on restriction, but that isn't it, we've been through that often. I've got a family problem, but not with Sally. I just can't talk about it now."

"If you need to, I'm here."

"No, June, you're great, and I appreciate that, but I can't. Work is work and friends are friends. I don't want to hurt you, but no."

Two hours since the call. Nothing.

Her cellphone rang. "Valerie, Joe. This Friday, late, like after 8. Eve doesn't want the kids to hear this."

"OK, Joe, where?"

"The barn, not the house. Eve doesn't want the kids to hear this." The kids were Naomi, fourteen, and her sister Nicola (Nicky), eleven. Valerie mentally agreed; no child should hear this or have to deal with this.

"Okay, Joe. See you."

"Yeah, see you." 

Valerie was numb. She had to call Sally but couldn't. June buzzed her on the intercom. "Staff meeting in five minutes. Colonel says, everybody hit the head and land running."

The Colonel earned his Army nickname "Colonel Smoke" by virtue of his grizzled silver-black hair and polished ebony skin. The tiny combat infantryman's badge was always in his buttonhole; he left off the miniature Silver Star he had earned in Vietnam as a kid draftee in Tet; he thought wearing the decoration was boastful.

Colonel Smoke was nothing if not direct. "None of this leaves this room, OK?" Nods all around; it was true, Delgrasi leaked less Sally's diapers. "I got good news and bad news. First, the good news. Print media's dying, everyone is either broke or bought, but Delgrasi is making out fine. Merit bonuses this Christmas. Point system based on increase in revenue from you bottom-line accountables, sliding scale 4% to 15% of base; non-accountables (staff and support), 5% of salary. Now the bad news. Just a rumor, not on the web or anywheres particular, but News Corp is sniffing around the family. Rupie Murdoch might want us. What the family will do nobody knows. Will and Rocky Delgrasi won't sell, but they don't control the show. They'll be rounding up support from the sit-on-their-asses cousins who think the world owes them. Now this is critical--I don't want resumes going out because people think they'll lose their jobs. We're specialists and we have a deep moat. No competitor comes close to us. But I don't want staff jumping off the chopper before we hit the DZ--comprendé? More to follow when known. Meeting over--move!" The Colonel wasted no time. Everyone went back to their desks, telling their waiting colleagues "pep talk from the Colonel. Merry and happy--maybe."

Valerie was less than enthusiastic, but mouthed the line well. Her businesslike attitude covered her distress. Friday was coming.

*******************************************

Joe and Eve Burbon lived on an old farm Joe bought years ago at a tax sale. The old farmer's wife had died, her children lived far away, the house was a wreck and the barn falling down. No one could make a living on that exhausted land, so the heirs let it go for taxes.

Joe and Eve were homesteaders. No money, just sweat and love. Joe re-roofed house and barn, replaced rotted wood, saved the money to pay plumber and electrician and watched them, learning how to do by himself to save the money he didn't have. Eve and Joe brought the farm back from the dead.

Mike helped them when he could, and tended both house and Joe's family when Joe got the kidney transplant that saved his life. Eve's brother Tommy helped when he could get back from his duty station with the Coast Guard.

Joe and Eve slept under the staircase in the house, in the hayloft of the barn, wherever they could. Eve gave up the pain and frigidity of her childhood under Joe's hands, lips and cock. They "christened" the house and the barn those first hungry years, with cum and with sweat. Their hard, calloused hands could still show their love for each other and for their home.

The house and barn were finished, clean, well-tended now. Naomi and Nicky had a home where it was great to grow up. Then Mike married, and then Mike died.

The ride was long and frightening. The snow was blowing around, although there had been no new snowfall so far that day. Spring Street was plowed, the Interstate was clear, but once leaving it behind, with miles to go on county roads, driving was a nervous, sweating series of skids, snowbanks, obscured signs, invisible lane markers, oncoming trucks and blanketed streetlights.

Valerie finally pulled her Lexus off the county road, onto the snow-covered gravel strip in front of the barn, and thanked the auto gods for antilock brakes and electronic stability control. Sally released her seatbelt and pulled on her skiing gloves.

Valerie took a shallow breath, slipped her seatbelt, opened the door, and winced as the cold air hit her face. "Time to go, sweetheart. Be strong." "Mistress, I love you; you are my safeword." They slammed the doors together and walked toward the barn, snow crunching under their boots and the wind reddening their faces.

The barn door opened easily. Valerie had not seen the barn for years. Now it was part storage, part stables for Naomi and Nicky's horses (bought from savings scraped up through the years), part Joe's workshop. They walked to the workshop.

On the wall were mounted deer and moose heads. Valerie remembered that Joe and Mike would go hunting with their father George, although Tommy would not go the one time he was there during the season. Eve loved to hunt, Valerie remembered; Eve and Joe each got a buck every fall, and the meat lasted a long while in their big freezer in the barn.

Joe loved to tell the story, how he and Eve were coming back with two bucks in the pickup bed and their rifles in the rack Joe put beside the rear seat, when the new game warden pulled them over. He scrutinized their hunting tags, and said, "Ma'am, you shot which buck?" Eve pointed to the 12-pointer, a candidate for a Boone-Crockett acknowledgment. "That one, Ma'am?" the warden asked. "Yep," said Eve, her thin lips tightening and drawing up her slight five-foot-two frame. The warden looked at the buck; one clean hole through the heart.

"I never doubt a lady's word," the warden said, smiling, "but let me just place my watch on yonder tree and see how well you shoot," clearly thinking that Joe had shot both deer and was using his wife's tag for cover. That was the last he saw his watch, because Eve took her Winchester, chambered one round with practiced ease, brought stock to cheek with a tight spotweld in one fluid motion, and squeezed off the round that blew the watch apart at two hundred yards, in the dusk of a November night, over iron sights.

Eve said scopes were for pansies.

Everyone laughed at the story then. Now Valerie wondered. If Eve lost it tonight, how was her aim when she was mad?

Valerie opened the door, and stepped in, Sally following. Sally closed the door.

Eve stood next to Joe. Birthing and raising two children had not changed her slight build, almost childlike breasts, and her tight-lipped mouth seemed drawn even tighter. Joe was clearly uneasy.

"Hello," said Valerie. "Hi," said Joe. Eve and Sally looked at each other, looked quickly away.

"Eve," said Valerie, "whatever you think of me now, I was a good wife to Mike. I loved him. Maybe you know or maybe you don't, but we didn't have sex with each other, from the day we met until the day we married. I'll swear by anything you believe in, I never looked at anyone else until the day Mike was put in the ground, and I wished and prayed that day that I was in the ground with him.

"I couldn't give him a baby. My tubes are scarred. Mike understood; I couldn't handle adopting a baby, so Mike gave up his dearest wish for my sake. He was never a daddy.

"I don't know what happened to me. Part of me was dead and part was a ghost until I met Charles. And then I met Sally. You don't want to know about that, and that's okay. But I want a baby. I want Sally to be a mommy. And I want--and I want--"

Valerie's voice broke. Eve stared at her, her eyes bright, drilling holes in Valerie's face, her thin lips even tighter, her breath coming in short sniffs. Eve's hands clenched and unclenched. Joe stood like a tree, hardly breathing himself, his huge hands clenching like his wife's.

Valerie plunged ahead, her head spinning "I want a Burbon baby. I want Joe to father her artificially and Sally to mother her and we'll adopt her and there will be no contact between Joe and Sally and me and you will never need to see the baby or me or Sally ever again and we'll go and as far as you need be we'll be dead like you want us to be and"---the words gushed from Valerie as she shook, and Sally was barely able to stand.

"How the hell do you know what I want?" Eve shouted. "How the motherfucking hell do you know me? Because I yelled something at you five years ago and you went away mad? How do you know what made me do that?! You ain't God. You may have a college education and a cool job and a big house and a fancy riceburner out there, but you ain't God. I ain't got a college education and that. All I got is my faith and my guns, like your man said. You don't know enough. But you might, you just might, hurt enough to understand me."

Valerie started to speak, but Eve cut her off. "Listen, dammit. Don't talk, listen. I grew up hard, with parents who whupped me good. I was never good enough, never worked hard enough, never ate little enough. God was watching and God was vengeful and would repay with awful recompense, and my parents were in place of God and never let me forget I would die and go to Hell. I wanted to kill myself, but that would only mean I'd go to Hell faster. I suffered in that house of a child's tears beyond anything y'all ever do. Y'all claim to have safewords (Valerie gasped; how could Eve know this?). I had none. But I did have, thank you Jesus, I did have Tommy.

"Tommy took many whuppings for me. Tommy took care of me when I was sick, did his chores and my chores, helped me with schoolwork. Tommy was mother and father and Jesus and God for me, when the words mother and father and Jesus and God were just pain and misery.

"My parents told me God hates queers, that this country is damned because God hates queers, and I believed them. I wanted them to love me and Tommy, and stop hurting us (Valerie was shaking; Sally was leaning on the barn wall with her face in her hands, and then threw back her hands and leaned into the wall as if she was being beaten), and they would love me if all the queer faggots would all get AIDS and die and go to Hell.

"Tommy and I grew up somehow. Tommy escaped first, and I was right behind him. I clerked in some stores, lived on nothing, barely escaped being a whore just to live, and then once again God proved to me She exists--first She sent me Tommy, and then She sent me Joe. I should have been a psycho frigid bitch, but I met Joe." 

She looked at her husband, and the pain vanished as her eyes teared. "You taught me what it means to love, but the queer thing was still there. Joe wouldn't let me teach our kids that, and I love him even more for that. But it was still there. Until last month."

Eve stopped. Valerie heard nothing but the blood rushing through her ears. Eve had thrown her arms around Joe, but her thin arms could not reach around the big man. He wrapped his arms around her and held her.

Eve took in a big breath, like a drowning man.

"Tommy came home. His time in the Coast Guard was up. Do you know what he was in the Coast Guard? Do you know, you wise ladies?"




Valerie - A Deep and Dark December



Valerie shook her head. Sally was looking away, her head down, her arms stretched out as if bound and submitting beyond the limits of pain.

"My Tommy, my wonderful brother, was a rescue swimmer. Fifteen started in his class and five finished. They washed out the rest, they couldn't hack it, but Tommy could. Do you know what they do, dear ladies, these rescue swimmers? They jump from a helicopter into thirty-degree icewater in the Bering Sea in January, in twenty-knot winds, in fifteen-foot waves, to save drowning men. They must swim fast and strong, get the men in the basket and hoisted quickly, before they or the men freeze or drown, or the chopper runs out of gas and they all die.

"My Tommy, year after year, risked his life in the cold and the dark for men he never knew. There are women with babies who wouldn't have the husbands who made those babies without my Tommy. There are men breathing air who'd be ice-covered corpses without my Tommy. Fifty men he saved, and when he had saved three one night but lost the fourth because he was exhausted, he quit. Said he wouldn't lose another man because he was weak.

"So they sent him to a desk job in New York harbor, and he finished his twenty years, and he wore his dress uniform with all the medals he got and came home. And ours was the only home he knew. But he brought someone with him." And Eve shuddered.

"Tommy came home, and sent Joe away, and sat me down and told me--and told me--and told me--" Eve was near breaking, but went on. "Tommy said he was gay, he loved men, he had found a man and wanted to spend his life with him...." Eve's scream of pain hit Valerie like the bullet Harve shot at her throat. Like the deer Eve shot with the bullet in its heart, Sally choked and collapsed. 

Eve struggled, her arms moving as if she had no control. "I had to choose between my own hate and the brother I love better than my life. And I chose Tommy. You chose Sally. Take the baby and love her." And Eve began to cry gently.

Valerie rushed to her. Sally scrambled to her feet but was too slow. Eve and Valerie grabbed each other and held on, their sobs coming in great rending gulps. Sally joined them.

And then there was nothing to cry about any more.

Eve spoke. "If Joe agrees, you can have his stuff whatever you call it, for the baby. You must both adopt the baby. She must be completely yours. But we will still see her, and be her aunt and uncle or whatever. And one more thing--"

Valerie said "Whatever you want, Eve."

"If Joe is giving you a baby--I want him to give me one first!"

Joe smiled and looked at the three women. "Eve, whenever you're ready, darlin'." He kissed her. 

"Now I'm gettin' thirsty," said Joe, "and I got to make sure the girls finish their homework and get to sleep. So I'll just see to Naomi and Nicky, and get somethin', and come back."

He got an old barn coat, walked out the door and over to the house.

"I'd love to see them again, Eve," Valerie said. "Even though they're only nieces by marriage, I still love them."

"Tomorrow morning. Too much excitement now, they'll never get to sleep and we couldn't talk in front of them." 

"Of course not. They don't need to hear any of this, even when they're old enough to deal with it."

"I saved the toys and gifts you sent them, even when I didn't want them to have anything from you perverts. They prolly outgrown them by now." 

"Give the gifts to Toys for Tots. I'll get Naomi and Nicky new ones this year, and deliver them personally." 

"They'll be glad, they still ask after you."

"Mistress, permission to speak." 

"Sally darling anything yes yes yes. And please, darling, when we're here, Valerie."

"Valerie, can we stay here tonight? I'm scared to drive back, and you are exhausted."

Eve said, "You can use the spare room and our sleeping bags. No beds, but good sleeping pads and we got good hot water. Y'all will have to share the bathroom and we get up early to do our chores."

Joe returned. "Had to put down another insurgency. Nicky decided it was her turn to kill her sister. They may both just make it alive to 18, but it'll be close. Eve darlin', you sure you want another one? I was going to sell these two and buy a new truck--" Eve slapped him hard. He laughed. "Tommy and Jean-Guy went to visit friends in the Capital District and won't be back until Monday. It's started snowing again, so Valerie and Sally, you ain't drivin' anywhere tonight. I'll be out before dawn, plowin'. Good money. You could use their room, or the spare room--" 

"Spare room is fine," said Valerie, "It's just one night and we don't want to cause trouble or disturb anyone's privacy. We'll buy all of you breakfast, if we can find a restaurant."

"Great," Joe said. "Ya know, I'm really thirsty, but I thought beer wasn't right. How about cocoa? My momma always said, 'have some cocoa, you're such good children.'"

Sally said, "Yes, we are all such good children."

After the cocoa and whipped cream, Sally and Valerie lay side by side in the zipped-together sleeping bags. Sally had gotten her iPad from the car and IM'd her report to Master Charles.

His reply was typical: "Delightful, my dear Sally. Love and forgiveness triumph over hatred and revenge. How trite, how clichéd, how beautiful. Makes an old cynic like me positively barf with an excess of human kindness. Now that I have tried to trash everything decent and worthwhile (and, thank God, failed), I remove all restraints from my lovely slaves. Enjoy yourselves, my dears." 

Their response was also typical. Sally started, "I love you a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck cause I love you--" Valerie's kiss overwhelmed her. The snow fell as gently as Valerie's kisses. Sally let her body scream her orgasms. Valerie's hyperventilating climaxes tore all the pain to shreds. They slept in each other's arms, like good children.

***************************

Charles Arthur Jameson Vanquil smiled, shut down his laptop and put it away. Lady Nadine Vanquil removed her Manolo Blahniks with her toes, and stretched. Charles grabbed her hair and pulled her from the couch. 

He really should have kept his left hand closer to his body. Lady Nadine throws a fine right jab, for a patroness of the Opera Society, and this one caught his stomach. "Oof," said Charles, "I knew, my dear, that the crème brulée would have been a better choice for dessert than the Kaiserschmarn, but Rosette, aside from having a really lovely scream when flogged, definitely knows how to cook." At which he feinted with his left and caught Lady Nadine a sharp blow to her upper arm with his right. "Darling," she replied, "if you want to punch me on my tit, you really must be less obvious," and her left right combination caught his chest and jaw.

His open hand landed on her cheek with a solid whack. "Disdain of the obvious is clearly a trait of the imperfectly-educated, small-minded woman, such as attended Wellesley," he said.

"I find domestic violence tedious after it has served its stimulative purposes," she said, slipping under Charles' left hook, ducking and weaving and grabbing her husband's testicles. "Oooh, look what I found." She squeezed. Charles' face went white as he gasped out, "Madam, you are placing the prospects for a mutually satisfactory evening in extraordinary jeopardy."

"Oh, jeopardy," she said, "I loathe those obvious television games shows. So predictable. But I'll take your penis for ten thousand, darling, and you can have my gourmet vagina, as you call my dear thing, for twenty five." Lady Nadine had her own money from her successful day-trading ventures, and Master Charles was her financial, as well as her intellectual, equal. "Deal," he replied.

*****************************

Charles' thrusts increased even more, as Lady Nadine's orgasm subsided. Was this four or five, and why should she care?

"My dear sweet boy, are we there yet? Are we having fun yet?" Her control was, thought Charles, extraordinary. Suddenly he grunted and spasmed, his body convulsed as the orgasm hit him. "Oh yes, we are there, aren't we," said Lady Nadine.

They lay spooned, his hand on her breast, his penis slowly receding, as she gently tightened and released her kegels, milking the last of the semen from him. They breathed gently. She took his hand, raised it to her mouth, and kissed each finger. 

"Vanilla sex, how quaint. How utterly kinky and perverted. But such fun," she said softly, "such fun." 

"My darling love," he said, "move over, dearest, I'll sleep on that side, you shouldn't have to sleep in our secretions." "It's a big bed, dearest, and I don't mind, but I'm glad that chivalry isn't dead."

As the snow fell, and as Charles and Nadine drifted softly asleep, still locked together, the last sperm from his orgasm, nested in her open cervix, swam to the ovum slowly descending from the tube, met it, and together they moved as one to her waiting uterine wall. And as his parents slept, in the warm darkness, Charles Arthur Jameson ("Chip") Vanquil II began his life.

Merry Christmas.

*

Copyright Notice - The preceding is a "derivative work", as that term is defined in Title 17 United States Code §101. The characters named Valerie Burbon, Sally Thatcher, Stephanie Burbon, Mike Burbon, George Burbon, Diane Burbon, any brother of Mike Burbon (hereinabove named "Joe"), any child or children of any brother of Mike Burbon (hereinabove named "Naomi" and "Nicola" a/k/a "Nicky", respectively), Lady Nadine Vanquil, Charles Vanquil, Herman the butler, Harv, Javier, Imogene, June, and Betsy Flanagan; and the term "Mephisto" as applied to a club or place of public amusement or assembly, and the terms Delgrasi or Delgrasi Publications, as applied to a trade or business publishing and distributing special sexual interest periodicals, and the character the Colonel, a/k/a Colonel Smoke, in connection therewith (all the foregoing named characters and terms are hereinafter collectively the "dweaver999 products"), are the property of dweaver999, and all rights in and to any or all thereof are copyrighted and reserved to dweaver999, pursuant to the provisions of Title 17 of the United States Code, and the Convention for the Protection of Literary and Artistic Works, signed at Berne, Switzerland, on September 9, 1886, and all acts, protocols, and revisions thereto (said Convention, acts, protocols and revisions collectively the "Berne Convention"). The balance of the foregoing, exclusive of the dweaver999 products, is copyrighted, and all rights reserved in like manner, by estragon, pursuant to the Berne Convention and said Title 17 of the United States Code. No part of the foregoing may be reproduced or distributed in any form, whether or not for profit, without the express prior written consent of both dweaver999 and estragon. Use of any of the dweaver999 products by estragon in the foregoing is made under one single license from dweaver999, for this publication and for no other. All brand names and trademarks, trade dress of any description referred to in the foregoing, or materials copyrighted or otherwise legally-protected incidentally referred to in the foregoing, are the property of the respective holders thereof. The publication of the foregoing, and the references hereinabove, do not create any principal-agent, partnership or joint venture between dweaver999 and estragon, other than as licensor-licensee to the extent herein set forth and not otherwise, and none should be implied; neither has any authority to act for the other, except as may be specified by separate written agreement and signed by each of them in each instance. This publication neither creates nor evidences any assignment of any copyright reserved herein or elsewhere by any party. Any reference to any person living or dead, or to any actual acts, transactions or occurrences, is purely coincidental, except as to public figures or institutions. In respect of all such public figures or institutions a qualified Federal and State Constitutional privilege is hereby asserted.

Phew!

Now may I have a vote or two, please, and a few comments.



Valerie and the Bachelor



Valerie was ecstatic, overwhelmed. She read and reread the invitation. Her attendance had been requested at the home of Mr. Marcus Burke. It was a formal affair planned for the second Friday of this very month. An RSVP was requested. 

Valerie was employed at the same advertising agency as Mr. Burke. He was a senior partner. While his was a high level decision making, lucrative position that meant scads of prestige, oodles of money, gobs of recognition, and tons of flattery, Valerie's job was somewhat different. She had worked in the data processing section until just three weeks ago, but for some reason that hadn't been clear to her then she had been reassigned to Human Resources. In both positions she was invisible, a nonentity. No one noticed her. No one commented on anything she did, and certainly no one bothered to take the time to appreciate how hard she worked. She was Valerie Carlyle, the under paid, unappreciated, and innocuous nobody. That is to say no one ever noticed her except for Mr. Burke. For some reason he had taken an interest in her when she was in data operations. He called her in once to commend her efforts, and once he even took her to lunch at the little eatery around the corner. Well, in hindsight one could see where things were headed. The private office commendation and the lunch date had been the first steps in a lighthearted flirtation. It had led to a couple late afternoon dates at the alehouse on the corner, but beyond that, nothing.

To be sure, Mr. Burke had proven to be a true and complete gentleman. If he had any interest in Valerie in any way other than friendship she hadn't picked up on it. In fact, she was a little disappointed when she had been transferred to Human Resources, since that moved her well away from Mr. Burke's areas of authority.

Now, however, with the invitation in her grasp, Valerie felt like she understood the reason for her transfer. Mr. Burke, ever the gentleman, wanted to make certain that, if he and she continued to see one another, and on the off hand chance their up to then very casual dates led to anything more serious, no one would be able to accuse him of anything. No favoritism, or, heaven forbid, harassment. Her transfer to Human Resources now made any continued contact above reproach.

Valerie had liked Mr. Burke upon their first meeting, and even before he had taken any interest in her she had found herself from time to time mooning over him. In fact, most of the women in the office mooned over him. Marcus Burke was a hunk. He was tall, tanned, muscular, and clean looking, and while not what she would call handsome, he was certainly eye catching. He wasn't married, though from what she heard there had been a Mrs. Burke a few years earlier. According to the gossip, he had been given the bum's rush. It was rumored his wife had been quite promiscuous, and she had led him on for quite some time before he caught on and got off that merry go round. 

Valerie, when she wasn't especially busy, often found herself fantasizing about becoming the new center of Mr. Burke's attention. She imagined that through her personal wit, charm, and grace she restored in him a renewed confidence in the opposite sex. Of course, in her fantasies, her reward for her selflessness and virtue was a deep abiding affection that led to a massive engagement ring followed by an enormous wedding, a splendid honeymoon, and the classic happily ever after. In her fantasies she was Joan of Arc, Florence Nightingale, Grace Kelly, Mary Tyler Moore, and Marilyn Monroe all rolled into one irresistible, if totally fanciful, personality.

No one had been more shocked than she'd been when he started to take notice of her. There had been the wonderful coffee breaks in the afternoon, and the heart warming after work salads. Yes, and now here she stood at her front door with the proof he had noticed, he had grown to care, and he did want to be around her. After all she was standing here with her own personal invitation to a party at his house. There it was. His invitation with her name on it. 

For the next several days Valerie lived and worked in a kind of erotic romantic haze. Each day drew her closer to the evening of the party. Finally the big day drew nigh.

Valerie couldn't let anything fall to chance. On that evening of evenings she absolutely had to be at her very best. A week before the party she went shopping for a new dress. For the first time ever she decided to go to Nordstrum's. She wasn't holding anything back. It was a go for broke, shoot for the moon, opportunity. Though she owned a couple nice cocktail dresses, for the big night Valerie decided she needed a new 'little black dress'. Nordstrum's had just the item she had in mind. It was the requisite black; it had translucent long sleeves, and a hem-line that came to just above the knees. Its texture was a mixture of silk and cotton. The silk gave the dress a low, understated sheen, while the cotton gave it a sturdiness that prevented unnecessary wrinkling or that slouched baggy, slinky, look silk sometimes suggested. The two fabrics gave the dress both allure and stability. The dress had a modestly low cut neckline that revealed a just hint of cleavage. When she tried it on she fell in love with it. It was erotic but not blatantly sexy. 

Valerie was a smallish woman not like so many of the movie stars and models. She wore a size eight. Her breasts were small, only a 34B, but they were well formed, and a smidgen of padding in her bras always gave her just the right push to enhance their appearance. Valerie wasn't small and bony like some women. She had just enough flesh to give her that slightly soft demure appearance she'd heard men liked. When Valerie looked at herself in the mirror, in her new dress she saw herself, and correctly so, as being just about right.

She complimented the dress with a pair of dark, charcoal colored, nylons, a black bra with only that slightest hint of uplift she loved, and a pair of three inch black heels. Everything was plain, simple, and modest, but certainly, she hoped, eye-catching. She just knew she was going to be a stand out at the party. She hoped Mr. Burke would notice her. 

On the day of the party Valerie arranged to leave work right after lunch. She had planned an appointment at the hairdressers. She wanted to have her hair done, and be able to get home early enough before the party to give herself some time for personal relaxation. The hairdresser knew her, and understood how she liked her hair. This time Valerie intended to take things a little further. She arranged it that her hair would be cut a little shorter and thinned a little finer than usual. Valerie's hair was thick, actually quite luxuriant. She hoped by thinning it a little the dresser could arrange for some soft bangs, a tight uplifted pony tail, and a few softly curling ringlets that would cascade around her temples and ears with perhaps one or two delicate wisps intimating toward her blue eyes. Valerie knew she had beautiful hair, and she had a well-structured heart shaped face. Her hair she knew would accentuate her natural good looks, her delicate only slightly up turned nose, her large vivacious blue eyes, arching eyebrows, rich long lashes, and her pert dimpled chin. Her skin had a clean, fresh, look, more like a child's than an adult's. Valerie was twenty-six, but her skin was clear, free of any major blemishes. It was radiant and soft

The only downside to her reverie was her life long carnal frugality, or what she called her secret social disability. Some said she was frigid. Some of the boys she dated said she was a lesbian. She knew that wasn't true. She liked men. She thought about men all the time. She liked looking at men. She told herself it was a disability, but she knew the truth. She knew she was pretty. She had always been pretty, but all through high school and college she had never had more than a handful of dates. Some girls had all the fun, but she'd never been one of them. She remembered some girls got the quarterback or the fraternity president. She always got the nerd or the creep who couldn't keep his hands off her. When she was in high school she had initiated a dating policy that had worked for her, but had undermined her social activities. She would willingly accept dates, but she insisted on driving herself and meeting the boy at the date site. This was an inconvenience, but she'd never been trapped in the great outdoors with an octopus, and she had never found herself out of gas in somebody else's car. She knew boys only wanted one thing. She knew what the one thing was, and she had vowed early on that that was to be saved for just one man. She wasn't cheap. That was her disability. She was going to be a one-man woman. At twenty-six years old Valerie was still a virgin, a virgin right down to the bone. But she knew when the right one came she'd give it up. She had a hunch that right man was Marcus Burke. At least she fantasized that it was Marcus Burke.

As the afternoon of the party faded into early evening, Valerie lounged back in her only easy chair in her quaint little apartment and thought about what it might be like. She so hoped she carried herself well. She hoped and prayed Mr. Burke would notice her, and she prayed feverishly that nothing went wrong.

Valerie rested until 6:00. Mr. Burke's residence was only about forty minutes from her apartment. She took one last look in the mirror. She had a pearl choker. It was small and delicate. She clipped it to her neck. She took her pearl stud earrings and affixed them in each of the single piercing of each ear. She gathered the rest of her things, her purse, that black evening wrap that matched her new dress, and took off for her big night. She thought. She prayed. This might be the biggest night of her life. 

Valerie got to the party at just about the perfect time. The guests were invited to arrive at 7:00. She pulled her little Honda Civic up to the front door at precisely 7:00. A young man in white shirt, black pants and bow tie took her car and drove it around to the back. 

She saw other guests were starting to arrive. Luckily, she wasn't the first but she wasn't dragging in with the main herd either. She was just a little ahead of the curve, but not obviously early. Valerie started up the short staircase to the front door. 

As she reached the door a rather dignified older gentleman dressed, apparently as the butler, opened the door. Valerie stepped inside. The butler took her wrap, and politely asked her name. She responded Valerie Carlyle. The gentleman took a cursory look at the guest list, and said. "Right this way please." As he spoke he added. "Ms. Carlyle, a very modest difficulty has arisen regarding this evening's activities, and I've been asked to escort you to a side room for a very brief conference with two of Mr. Burke's social secretaries." He led her to nearby side door. 

Valerie didn't have the slightest clue what could have gone wrong, and she certainly didn't know how that could possibly relate to her, but very shortly she was to be apprised of the situation.

The butler ushered Valerie into the side room. Magically two smallish middle aged ladies appeared. The older of the two spoke first. "I'm to believe you're Valerie Carlyle?"

Valerie answered in the affirmative.

The second lady proffered Valerie a chair and one of the sweetest smiles imaginable. "Ms. Carlyle, we've a very serious conundrum this evening."

The second lady chimed in. "When Mr. Burke hosts these types of parties they are always intended first to provide some relaxation and entertainment for the guests, but secondly, and just as important from Mr. Burke's perspective, they are intended to further the cause of the company that both you and he work for."

Valerie was confused. "I understand, but I don't see where I fit in." 

The second lady continued. "Well Mr. Burke always manages to arrange to have one server, a hostess, who carries on the duties of personal, shall we say, service assistant. Let us say a young woman whose main responsibility is to be discreetly near Mr. Burke at all times, but not so near as to appear to be hovering. This young woman acts to facilitate the needs of Mr. Burke and of anyone he may be having discussions with at any particular time. This serving person may be asked to obtain drinks, or perhaps a snack, for someone at a moment's notice. This server would be someone nearby and attentive to what Mr. Burke is doing and saying, but distant enough so as not to be intrusive.

Valerie listened attentively and commented. "I can understand all this, but I don't understand what any of this has to with me. 

The first lady took Valerie's hands in her lap. "Ms. Carlyle, the young woman who was expected to act in the capacity of the person we've been describing has met with an unexpected accident."

The second lady continued. "When Mr. Burke heard about this unforeseen occurrence he checked the guest list and saw your name. It seems Mr. Burke invited you strictly for personal reasons. You have no financial stake or remunerative purpose for being here. Virtually all the other guests are either clients or prospective clients. You are the one and only guest whom Mr. Burke invited simply out of the joy of having your company."

Valerie replied. "So you want me to be a server, a servant for the evening." Valerie frowned and then bristled. "What you're really looking for is a maid."

The first lady chimed in. "Mr. Burke suggested that we ask you personally. This would be a great favor you would be doing for him. 

Valerie answered. "I came here to have dinner, meet some people, and enjoy myself. I didn't come over here to be a maid or a servant."

The first lady smiled and answered. "Of course, I'm sorry we even brought it up. Go on in and have a wonderful time."

With that the first lady turned to the second and with a downcast look said. "Well, do you want to tell him or should I?"

The second lady spoke softly. "I'll tell him."

As the two social secretaries got up to go, Valerie made one last inquiry. "Is this really that important?" 

The first lady answered. "Don't worry Ms. Carlyle. Everything will be fine. You just go ahead and enjoy the evening."

Valerie found herself in a quandary. She had been planning for this party for weeks. All her hopes, her silly fantasies about Mr. Burke were somehow entwined in this evening's activities. She had her heart set on being the great guest of the evening. Now her host needed her in an entirely different capacity. She was being asked to humble herself, to degrade herself, to become just another servant, another irrelevancy in an irrelevant life. She couldn't, she wouldn't surrender this opportunity to be the belle of the ball even if it was just a fantasy. But her host, the man she had come to impress. Her imaginary prince charming was asking her to become a serving girl, a drink hustler, a cleaner up of spills, and a gatherer of food for other people. She had believed she would be one of the people for whom drinks and food were to be gathered. Now she was being asked to be just another invisible servant, another nobody. 

Valerie looked at the two ladies. "If I did this, what would Mr. Burke expect me to do? Tell me again."

The two ladies first looked at each other then they looked at Valerie. Then the first lady spoke. "Well Ms. Carlyle, first you'll be an excellent listener. You'll listen for requests for drinks and for food, but just importantly you'll be listening for information. You'll keep an ear out for comments and asides that the guests would not intend Mr. Burke to hear. In that regard you'll be serving sort of like a corporate spy. Later Mr. Burke might ask you if you heard anything worth repeating. On another level, Mr. Burke will be discreetly watching you and watching to see how his guests treat you. Mr. Burke is a very sensitive man. He hates it when people who find themselves in vulnerable situations are treated in disrespectful or dismissive ways. How his guests treat you, someone they won't know, will be a barometer of how any new client might treat the people he needs."

The second lady interjected. "Ms. Carlyle, no one wants you to become the victim of some other persons poor grooming, and Mr. Burke never intended that you find yourself in any kind of situation like that. Like we said earlier, you're the only guest he invited just for the joy of good company. Still, if you agreed to step up on this, you might be placed in a vulnerable situation. Believe us when we say, that's not why you're here, and if for some inexplicable reason you are compromised, Mr. Burke's response will be swift and sure."

The first lady added. "Ms. Carlyle, Mr. Burke likes you. He really likes you. He wouldn't ask this if it weren't really important."

Valerie was convinced. "OK, I'll do it."

The first lady responded. "Wonderful. Now come with us. We have to get you ready."

Together the two social secretaries each took one of Valerie's hands and partly led partly pulled her to another side door. The second lady said. "We'll come in here and get you dressed and prepped." 

While opening a closet and getting a pair of clothes hangers the first lady said. "We need you to get completely undressed"

Valerie looked askance at the two women. "You want me to change clothes?"

The first lady continued. "Well, first we'll get you undressed, then we're going to give you a thorough bath."

Valerie spoke up. "But I bathed and cleaned up thoroughly before I got here?"

The Second lady responded. "Of course dear, we know that, but Mr. Burke has some very precise ideas about how he likes things to proceed. And you did agree? We're just going to have to go along with the program. Now hurry up and get undressed, we don't have a lot of time."

Valerie supposed she should do what she was told. She didn't want to let Mr. Burke down, but she had agreed to what seemed to be turning into a kind of silly state of affairs.

The two women just stood there and waited for Valerie to undress.

Valerie was by nature a modest person, and she had to admit she was a little on the timid side as well, and these two ladies were becoming more intimidating by the moment. Valerie didn't think this was deliberate, she thought it was more a function of her own lack of assertiveness. Valerie took off her expensive new black dress; her shoes, stockings, and, waited for and additional instructions.

The first lady politely cajoled Valerie. "When we said undressed we meant everything."

Valerie felt ridiculous, but she followed their orders. Uncomfortably, and quite a bit self- consciously Valerie slipped off her bra and underpants. She undid her pearl choker. Took out her earrings. She stood before the two women with one hand trying to cover her exposed breasts while the other valiantly tried to cover her vagina. 

The two women smiled at the nude young woman in front of them. While one pulled Valerie's hand away from her vagina the other freed her breasts from their protective cover. 

The second woman looked Valerie over and spoke to the first woman. "She's not bad looking. Let's get things going."

The fist lady smiled at Valerie and said. "You have a beautiful little shape dear. Dressing you up will be fun."

Valerie felt like they were talking about her like she was a doll or some toy. 

The ladies took Valerie by the wrists and led her toward a large bathroom. Inside they swiftly went to work. Turning on the water at full velocity they herded Valerie into a walk in shower. Each lady put on an apron and proceeded to thoroughly scrub Valerie from head to toe. They washed her hair, her upper torso and her legs. Without letting her leave the shower they quickly toweled her off, but before she could make another move the ladies were plopping huge gobs of some kind of soapy cleanser all over her. The first lady explained this would guarantee that you'll have no trace body odors other than those that are naturally yours. We can see you're petite and quite lithe. You have very little body fat and will therefore exude no unwelcome aromas. The lady continued by saying. " I find you very attractive. Really adorable! I'd be surprised if any odors you emitted would be anything but appealing."




Valerie



"He did that to you?"

"I asked him to. He wouldn't fuck me. Val, he loves you. It was stupid and we were horny, but he really does love you. Please, be angry at me, not him."

"Dre, you should have told me."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's partly my fault. I should have let him… do things. I just never felt ready."

"I'm really sorry. I don't want to steal your boyfriend. I won't touch him again."

"I need to think about this" Valerie said "I still love you. You're still my sister."

I felt terrible all day. My horny selfish pussy had ruined everything. I couldn't concentrate on school or anything. Jenny asked me what was the matter, but I couldn't even tell her.

Valerie tapped on my door that night. We talked for a long time. She told me about the guy who raped her, the way her hurt her, and the nightmares afterward. She told me about meeting Mark and falling in love with him even though she was still afraid. We both had a good long cry together. Then she told me.

"I want to have sex with him." Val said "But I'm still afraid to. Will you help me?"

"Of course I will Sis."

"Mark's coming over tonight. Will you be there with me? Will you teach me?"

If Mark was surprised to see both of us when he came over to pick Val up, he didn't show it. He said 'Hi' to me and asked if Valerie was ready to go.

"I thought" said Valerie "that maybe we could just stay in tonight."

"Um, that sounds ok." Mark said, glancing at me.

"All three of us." Valerie said, nodding.

Wordlessly, we made our way to Valerie's room. I found myself lying on the bed with Mark and Val while they kissed. Then Mark kissed me. It felt weird, knowing that Valerie was watching.

"I want to see you naked" Valerie breathed. Mark stripped, and Val and I admired his tight, slender body. His dick was still soft. I think he was unsure what was going to happen. So was I for that matter.

"Show me" Valerie said to me "show me what you do to him."

Self consciously, I started to go down on him. I felt Mark's big dick hardening in my mouth.

"Take off your clothes" Valerie said "I want you to teach me."

I stood up and we stripped together. Valerie has a beautiful body. She has long, shiny black hair like mine, but that is pretty much the only feature we share. We have the same color blue eyes, but hers don't need correction. She is tall for a girl, but not as exceptionally tall as I am. She is curvy in all the right places. I have already mentioned her lovely bust; the rest of her body was just as perfect. Her waist was slender, her tummy nearly flat, her hips were gently curved. She had a full bush of dark pubic hair, shyly disguising her petite labia. I felt awkward and unattractive standing naked next to her.

"Go on" Valerie said "Suck him."

Mark looked from Valerie back to me, and layed down on the bed. His cock was hard and wet and looked delicious. I wasn't sure just what was going on here, but Val nodded encouragingly, so I got back on the bed with Mark and went back to work on his erection. I really got into sucking his dick. I couldn't stop my fingers from straying between my legs where my pussy was hot and slick from the excitement of the situation.

"God" Valerie said "You really like doing that, don't you?"

"Yeah" I said, a little guiltily "I think its fun."

"Don't stop then" she said sitting down on the bed next to Mark "Touch my… vagina the way you did the other day" she said to him.

I sucked gently on the head of Marks penis and stroked him as I watched him touching my sister. Valerie spread her legs and held Marks hand against her pussy. She closed her eyes and rubbed his hand up and down her furry slit.

I was getting really excited, and I could tell Mark was too. I didn't know what was going to happen next, but I was going to have to have an orgasm soon or I would go crazy.

"Mark" Valerie said, sitting up and moving his hand away "I want you to do it to me. I want to have your penis in my vagina. Andrea, will you help me?"

I ran back to my room for the condoms I kept in my underwear drawer. When I came back, Mark and Val were kissing, and she was tentatively stroking his hard cock.

I tore open a package and handed it to Mark. He unrolled the latex down the length of his dick. Valerie lay down on her back on the bed. I sat down and held her hand. She was trembling.

Mark knelt on the bed, his condom-covered penis pointing straight up. "Are you sure you want this Valerie?"

"Yes. I love you Mark." she said spreading her legs. I could see her pussy, and it looked dry and closed up tight like a clam.

"Why don't you lick her a little bit first?" I suggested.

"No" Valerie broke in "Just do it to me."

As I held her hand and stroked her hair, Mark climbed between Valerie's thighs, guiding his cock toward her pussy. She closed her eyes and winced.

"Don't worry" he said "I won't hurt you."

He was rubbing his penis softly up and down her sex. Valerie was holding her breath.

I saw him press gently forward, nosing the tip of his cock into her. Val's eyes flew open. "Stop! No. I'm sorry, I can't. I can't do it."

Mark climbed off and kissed her, grasping her other hand. "It's ok Valerie. It's ok."

"Do Andrea instead" Valerie said "It'll be like doing it to me."

"Are you sure?" I asked. 

She nodded "I want this. I want it for me and for you."

I climbed on top of Valerie. Her body felt nice under me, soft and warm. My pussy was drooling; I was so ready for this.

I felt Mark position himself behind me, guiding his cock into my hot, ready entrance.

"I love you Val" he said

"Fuck her Mark" Valerie urged "Do it to her!"

Mark thrust forward, sliding his girth up inside me. It felt heavenly. It was miles better than the dildo. I wiggled around, trying to get more of him inside me. My breasts were pressed up against Valerie's, and that felt nice. "Yes, Fuck me!" I gasped.

Mark started fucking me, sliding his beautiful cock in and out of my hungry pussy. "Oh Valerie" he moaned "She feels so good!"

Underneath me, I could feel Valerie's hand moving, masturbating as her boyfriend fucked me. "Come inside her" she almost snarled "Come in her fucking little cunt!"

"Yeah" I encouraged him "Fuck me hard and come inside me!"

Valerie and I started kissing deeply, sharing tongues in a very unsisterly way. Mark was fucking my cunt hard and fast, and I could feel my orgasm washing over me. I pinched and twisted Valerie's hard nipples as I came, Mark's rampant cock emptying itself into the latex condom deep inside me.

We disentangled ourselves, and Mark threw away the used condom. Valerie's fingers were still busy on her clit. Her pussy was open and drooling. We watched together as she brought herself off.

"Valerie" Mark said, rummaging through his pants pockets "Will you marry me?" He had come up with a small box, and opening it revealed a ring.

"Yes, Oh yes!" Valerie said, tears running down her cheeks "I'd be happy to marry you Mark. I love you so much!"

They embraced and kissed, forgetting me for a minute. I felt a little embarrassed to be there with them at that moment, naked and sticky and still a little horny.

"Maybe" Valerie said, breaking off the kiss "Andrea could teach me about anal sex next."