1 comments/ 12172 views/ 2 favorites Long Dark Nights - Kai's Story By: XXNoraJeanXX I knew from early on that I wasn't like others, even if it wasn't apparent to anyone else before I reached puberty, it certainly became apparent to me at that point. I was born as a boy with all the proper male organs. I was raised as a boy as well. However, it was easy to see, even as a child, that I wasn't like the other boys. I was delicate, small and feminine. My skin was far more fair than almost everyone else in my village. My eyes were large and blue, where most people's in the village were narrowly slanted and dark brown, and of course that included my parents. My lashes grew long and framed my eyes in such a way that certainly made me look like a girl. My parents kept my hair cropped short in an effort to make me appear more masculine. This only really served to make my eyes stand out that much more. I was slight in build and found myself bullied often because of this. I was certainly different than all the others and as a result, myself and my family were treated differently. Small villages are like that. I wasn't like any of the others. Being different inherently made me "wrong". I was picked on, ignored, left out, and hated just because I was different. My parents were loving though. They didn't have any more children after me. I knew my mother cried and prayed I would become like the others. My father was quite stoic and tried to treat me like a normal son. He played ball with me in the fields and taught me how to fish. I wanted so badly to be normal for their sake. Then when I hit puberty and my body truly started to change I hid it from them. I hid it from the world. I started to developed breasts. I was very thin so the growth was extremely apparent to me as soon as it began to happen. I did everything to hide it. I wore shirts too large for myself. I used bandages wrapped tightly around my chest to minimize them. It worked for a long while, but they just kept getting larger. I hid away and spent as little time as possible in the village. At the same time I also noticed my genitals growing and changing. I didn't know what was happening to me, and I grew depressed as the years marched on. Finally it came to the point where my chest had grown to proportions that could not be hidden. I didn't want to leave my room anymore, so I started to refuse to do so. My mother had been homeschooling me for years, but I now I refused her lessons as well. My father tried to coax me out of my room, but I refused him just the same. I kept the room dark, and only came out at night when they were sleeping. I was confused and scared. I am sure they were too. Mostly I was ashamed. I had heard my mother crying and praying for me several times. She would bring me food and leave it just inside the door. She would tell me she loved me and wanted to help me. She begged me to tell her how. There was nothing she could do for me. Years went by and I became a young adult. Even still she asked me often to let her come in and look at me in the light. I told her I was hideous and didn't want her to see me. The truth was, I wasn't hideous at all. In fact, I was very beautiful. My face was delicate with perfectly smooth fair skin and high cheekbones. My lips were full and soft. I grew no hair on my face or chest. I did have hair under my arms, and at my crotch. I wasn't very tall for a male, and I had narrow shoulders. My breasts had grown very full and large by the time I turned eighteen. I still bandaged them to keep them as hidden as much as possible, but sometimes I didn't. I secretly liked them. They were beautiful and suited my body. My stomach was perfectly flat and my hips were flared ever so slightly. Between my legs I carried a very long and thick penis with a very large and heavy scrotum. Long shapely legs, and petite feet. It was an odd view to look down. Even very unexpected to myself. I let my hair grow very long over the years. It was black as night and shiny. With my genitals hidden I was every bit a female. I was stunning and even with all my self loathing, I knew I was truly and exceptionally beautiful. I had hid during all of the last years of my childhood. Finally, at eighteen I knew that change was on the horizon for me. My parents were not obligated to support me anymore, though they seemed to gladly do so. But, a son was expected to work and help the family. I should have been doing so for years. I was a burden in more ways than one. I had made my family become ostracized from the rest of the village. Sure, they still attended religious services every Sunday, but even there no one would talk to them or even sit near them. I heard my mother cry to my father often for this. I felt sick with guilt. They had given birth to a son, but what had I become? What was I going to do? How could I make things right for them? I thought about cutting my hair and trying to look more masculine. It was all futile however, since my breasts were so large and full. My nipples were thick and large. They could no longer be hidden. They were full with high nipples. I enjoyed touching and pulling on my full long nipples. They were extremely sensitive and grew very hard and long when touched and pinched. They were a deep shade of pink. Almost purple. The areolas around them were also large and dark. As I played with them my cock would grow huge and hard. Of course I had not seen any other cocks to compare mine too, but I knew it was large and equine like. My balls were large and very round between my legs. They were very heavy and ached most often. I didn't dare touch my long thick cock. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but it seemed like a sin to do so. I suspected even the way I touched and toyed with my breasts and nipples was a sin, but it was almost impossible not to. They begged to be touched. It made me feel ashamed, but sometimes while playing with my nipples my cock would spasm and shoot a thick creamy liquid all up my stomach and over my breasts. Sometimes onto my face even. The ache in my balls would go away for a bit. It always returned though. I remember how scared I had become the first time it had happened. It had felt so breathtakingly amazing that I had instantly burst into tears after my body stopped shaking. I had been toying with my nipples for a long while. My cock had been hard between my legs the entire time. It stood like a huge pole with a thick bush of dark black hair at the base. My balls ached badly, but I had become somewhat accustomed to the discomfort. I wanted badly to touch myself there, but refused to give in to that instinct. I was already enough of a monstrosity. I had pinched my nipples hard causing my breath to catch, and that is when it happened. My massive cock jerked hard toward my breasts and face. My balls tightened impossibly. Then almost instantly my cock pulsed and shot several thick hot streams of white cream all up my stomach, and over my breasts. It was incredible and left me stunned. The stuff was all over my skin. I felt both ashamed and enthralled with what had just happened to me. Most nights I slipped out into the dark and down to the river. It was peaceful and the moonlight lit my way. At first I was scared of the inky dark water of the lake. I would just sit on the edge and maybe dip a toe. As time went on I grew bolder and stripped off my clothing. I stood in the moonlight and showed the universe my true form. I was a man, but I looked every bit a woman except between my legs. I had large full round breasts and a long thick cock. Not only did I look like a woman, but I was of course fiercely beautiful too. I eventually found the nerve to go into the lake. To swim in the nude. I loved the feel of the cooling water on my breasts, cock and balls. I would swim for hours and come out of the water feeling refreshed and alive. I did this so often without it ever being discovered that I became complacent and less vigilant. I didn't see her hidden among the trees at the water's edge. I had been swimming and enjoying myself for hours. Finally, growing tired, I came out of the water. I made no attempt to shield my cock or breasts since I never thought I wouldn't be alone. I came out of the water and stood on the bank ringing out my long thick hair. My cock was hard and jutted out in front of me almost crudely. It was so thick and long. I knew even if I had tried to live outwardly as a woman it would be impossible to hide under skirts. I turned and heard someone gasp sharply. I immediately grabbed for my clothing where I had left it behind a large log. It wasn't there. I began to panic. "Who's there?" I called out. What choice did I have? Most likely whoever it was had my clothing. I didn't want to return home fully nude. There was no answer. I wanted to hide myself but it was impossible without going back into the water. "Please, I will go back into the water. Please just leave my clothes for me." I was begging the very darkness. I had clearly heard the gasp of another surprised human, but I hadn't been able to determine where it came from. Slowly I retreated back into the lake. For the first time it didn't bring me solace. I just wanted whoever was near to go away and leave me be. Surely they had seen me. Of course they would tell others. I was a freak of nature. I watched the sandy bank and trees for movement. "Please give me back my clothing!" I pleaded with the darkness. A small dark figure detached itself from the deep shadows and moved into the moonlight. It was petite and very slight. At first I could not tell if it was a small woman or a child. As it came more into the pale light it was evident it was a small woman. She held my folded clothes to her chest. Her eyes connected with mine. Was she scared of me? I honestly couldn't tell. "I won't hurt you. I am sorry if I scared you. I just need my clothing back. I won't come near you." The petite figure seemed to freeze on the spot. "I saw you." Said a soft voice that didn't sound like any other I had ever heard. She had an accent. From where I had no idea. "I am sorry for that. I thought I was alone." I felt heartsick that she had had to be subjected to what she saw. It was confusing and surely disgusting. "I thought you were the most beautiful woman when I saw you swimming. I found your clothes by accident and wondered why a woman would wear men's clothing." There were so many questions in her voice. "I can't explain this." I said simply. I wanted her to go away. I wanted to run away myself. I knew I would never come back to this spot. I wanted to plead with her to leave my clothes and leave me. I wanted to plead with her not to tell others about the monster she had discovered swimming in the lake. "You are a man?" It was a question almost worded like a statement. "I am a man. I know I am disgusting. I won't hurt you." I said. I didn't sound like a man any more than I looked like one. My voice was also very feminine. I watched as she stooped and placed my clothing on the log, but then my heart sank as she sat down on the log next to the clothes. "Why don't you come out of the water?" She wasn't scared? "I can't do that. It is a disgrace enough that you had to be subjected to my nudity once. I am sorry for that. " "I'm not." She said simply. "Please come out here." Her voice was soft but commanding all at the same time. Something in me responded to the command. I found myself walking out of the lake and stopping just at the water's edge. The water still lapped at my feet. I attempted to hide my breasts and cock. I was still rock hard between my legs. My thick juicy nipples were also heavily swollen and hard. "Put your arms down." She commanded again. I did as I was told without even knowing why I complied. She stood and approached me. My heart beat sped up to an impossible rate. "You are the most exquisite female I have ever seen, with the exception of that between your legs." I felt heat rise on my skin as she pursued me. She circled around me using her eyes to fully examine me. "Yes, Ma'am." I felt dumb and didn't know what else to say. She smiled at me. I was a little taller than she was. "You live as a man or a woman?" "I live only in that I am alive. I have no actual life as a woman or a man." My honesty seemed to catch her off guard. She looked sad as she looked up at my face. She was the first person in years to actually truly look at me. I felt naked beyond my actual nudity. I felt barred right to my very soul. "It must be so tough." She stepped close and reached up with one small hand. I flinched as she placed it on my cheek. I could not even remember the last time another person had touched me. "Your breasts are so large and beautiful you could surely not hide them no matter how hard you tried. And that..." She looked down at my jutting cock. "That could not be hidden by any skirts or even trousers." She declared. "Yes, Ma'am." I agreed. She was the very first person to see and acknowledge my plight. Just hearing someone say it and understand it brought tears to my eyes. "Do you think of yourself as male or female?" She asked. "I was raised male. I am neither and I am both." I was speaking in riddles without actually meaning to. My entire life was a riddle. "I suppose I try to identify more with being male." "You are beautiful." Her voice was wistful. I was stunned speechless. She took my hand and brought me back to the log. We sat in the soft dry sand side by side. I remained nude at her request but she was fully clothed. She wore a blouse that was a tad too big for her and hid her breasts under the fabric. She had on a heavy dark walking skirt that showed the flare of her hips and nothing more. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun. It was hard to tell if she was attractive or not, but it was obvious she was not from this village or any village nearby. "Where are you from?" I asked when my curiosity got the better of me. "I am originally from Italy. My husband is a doctor there and was sent here on a mission." I had no idea why but my heart fell at the mention of her husband. Then I wondered where he was? Why did he let his tiny wife out to wander at night? I shoved those questions aside to ask something else I was curious about. "How old are you?" "It is rude to ask a lady her age, but since I am wondering the same about you why don't we both share?" "I am almost nineteen." I volunteered automatically. "I am twenty four." She said. My cock was still rock hard and my balls were full and painful. They both pulsed uncomfortably every single time she spoke or moved at my side. When she accidentally brushed me I felt my cock pulse. As if sensing my discomfort she looked down. "You have been hard this entire time. Does it hurt?" "Yes." I looked at her. I didn't hold back. She hadn't gone running and screaming yet, so I was going to enjoy this bit of human interaction. "Why don't you take care of it?" It was a question said as a command. I was immediately confused by it though. "What do you mean?" I blinked. "Touch yourself until you climax." I swallowed thickly. The dismay and confusion was surely etched on my girlish face. "Oh my! You have no idea how to masturbate yourself?" She cried out. I shook my head. She smiled softly as she regained her composure. "It's okay. I am sorry for being surprised. You just have such an amazing cock that I was sure you had been enjoying it for years." She paused. "Have you ever had sex?" I had vague notions about sex. My mother had never taught me and I did not spend any time with the other kids in the village so there had been no chance to learn tidbits from them either. "No." She nodded wordlessly. "Which hand do you predominantly use?" I lifted my right hand. She took it and wrapped my delicate fingers around my huge thick cock. Her fingers brushed my cock sending shocking waves of pleasure throughout me. My hand was too small to wrap around my own cock, but touching it felt good. Placing her equally small hand around mine she showed me how to stroke up and down my shaft. The pleasure it created made me lose all composure. I forgot where I was. I forgot who was with me. I simply closed my eyes and let the amazing feelings spread from my groin to my belly and then throughout my body. When my cock erupted with the hot thick white cream this time it was far more intense than anything else I had ever experienced. Spurt after spurt flew from my cock. I felt it landing on my breasts and shoulders and even my face. Some landed on my lips but I resisted the urge to lick it from them. My breathing was ragged and fast. To my own ears I sounded like an animal. When I finally opened my eyes I looked toward her expecting to see disgust. She had the most unusual expression on her face. It was not at all disgust. Quite the opposite, actually. "I have to go now. I will see you here tomorrow night, unless the weather is bad." She quickly leaned over and kissed me square on my cum covered lips, then up and disappeared into the trees like a sprite. I slumped back heavily against the log. I didn't even know her name. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I sat very still for a short while just replaying the entire thing in my mind. Had it been real? Had another person actually seen me? After cleaning the cum off myself in the lake I dressed and sneaked through the night back to my home. I crawled into my bed with a smile on my face for the very first time in a very long time. Long Dark Nights - Kai's Story Ch. 02 I slept most of the hot day away as was normal for me. My mother left food and drink for me just inside my door. I woke up sometime in the early evening. I was wide awake and pulsating with anticipation. I hadn't recalled ever feeling anticipation before. I couldn't wait until the night came and I could slip away and back to the lake. I wondered if she truly meant it when she said she would come back. I tried to mentally remind myself that she might not come back. After all, I was a freak of nature. Surely she would think twice before coming near me again. I woke up hard and needy. My cock jutted up from my crotch obscenely. For the first time I almost admired the look of it in the minimal light of my room. It had brought me so much pleasure the night before and it seemed to have impressed the doctor's wife. I didn't dare stroke it no matter how much I wanted to. I wasn't sure what stopped me, but after having shared that with her it seemed wrong to do it on my own. I wasn't thinking logically but that didn't matter. My thick nipples also begged to be touched but again I did not. Instead I wandered into my private lavatory space my father had built for me and attempted to relieve myself. It was extremely difficult to urinate when rock hard. I managed and then set about washing myself. I wanted to be every bit as beautiful as the doctor's wife had made me feel. I used some of the soap my mother had left for me to wash my hair. Then I slowly and methodically worked my way down my body cleaning myself thoroughly. I looked in the mirror above the wash basin and saw a beautiful woman with large proud tits looking back at me. I tentatively smiled at myself in the mirror. I couldn't recall the last time I had smiled. Perhaps, today I could loath myself just a little bit less. It was finally time to sneak away. My cock had finally gone phallic but still hung heavy between my thighs with my balls. I dug deep into my trunk and pulled out a long skirt I had taken from my mother's old clothing. I didn't know what made me want to do it, but I wanted to dress like a woman for the doctor's wife. My mother never missed the clothing I had taken from her since she had grown wider in her middle area and could no longer fit into it. It felt strange putting on a skirt and I still couldn't imagine what possessed me to do so. I guess I just wanted to be pretty for the doctor's wife. I wore one of my own shirts, but chose one that was a bit more snug fitting. I didn't own anything to wear as a brasserie. I brushed my hair out until it was perfect and glossy. It fell straight to my lower back. It smelled nice when I swung it over my shoulder. I felt good as I left the house and prayed all the way there that the doctor's wife would stay true to her word. I made my way slowly down the bank to the little outcropping by the side of the lake. I didn't see her right away. "Hello!" She called out softly. She was hidden at the edge of the trees. My heart tripped hard in my chest and my mouth suddenly felt filled with cotton. I waved but could not actually respond. I was also suddenly very hard again, and my skirt did nothing to hide it. I felt my face flush with heat. We met halfway, and she quickly took my hand. She pulled me over toward the fallen tree log. "You look beautiful!" She declared looking at me in the moonlight. She had placed a blanket in the sand for us and she told me to join her sitting on it. I did as she requested. Her hair was down tonight and she looked softer somehow. It looked to be a rich shade of chestnut brown. I couldn't be sure of her eye color but they were most likely a deep brown. She smelled nice. I found myself breathing a little faster with unbidden excitement. "Did you wear a skirt to look pretty for me?" Her voice held no trace of unkindness or mocking. "Yes." My voice sounded strained. My mouth was so dry. Without even asking the doctor's wife reached into a bag at her side and brought out a bottle with water. She placed it to my lips and asked me to take some. I took a long drink of the water before she lowered it from my lips. "What is your name?" I blurted. "Sophia." "Sophia." I repeated testing the sound of it in my own mouth. I liked it. She smiled. "So what is your name?" "Kai." "That is a fine name, Kai." We both fell into silence as Sophia stared at me. At first her scrutiny made me uncomfortable, but the longer we sat and she examined me so closely the more comfortable I became. She wasn't disgusted. In fact, I would almost venture to say she was quite enthralled. Without asking permission she grasped the material of my skirt and pulled it up to my waist. She fully exposed my still hard cock, but she didn't touch me there. She just looked, but even that I could almost feel. My face heated as I watched some cream dribble from the end of my throbbing cock. I liked her looking at it. I watched her as she left my cock exposed and then took the bottom of my shirt. She began to lift it up off of my small figure so I raised my arms to help her removed it over my head. Now my big tits were also fully exposed. My big nipples hardened and pointed right at Sophia. A strangled little sound escaped from my throat before I could stifle it. "It's okay, Kai. You are a beautiful man. I like looking at you." She paused and chewed her lower lip for a moment. "Can you tell me, did this occur naturally?" I nodded. "I was born biologically a boy, but I was always very delicate. As a small child I resembled a girl far more than a boy and that is how it has been ever since. When I hit puberty these grew." I gestured toward my tits. "You were not medicated? Were you given hormones?" "Not that I know of. I don't think my parents would have done that. They wanted desperately for me to be and resemble a boy." "What if I told you that I think you are truly perfect the way you are?" Sophia asked. I looked at her face trying to detect any falseness there, but there was none. She was being genuine. I felt my heart crack and tears flooded my eyes. I felt like a fool for crying, but she was the very first person to see me and she liked what she saw. For the first time in my life I didn't feel like a complete monster. "Take all your clothes off for me." "Yes Ma'am." I stood and quickly shed all of my clothes. She had me turn in all directions so she could see my body in the moonlight. She liked my ass too. She said it was round shaped and very girlish. I was still hard and showing no signs of it going down anytime soon. She asked me to sit back down next to her. I almost gasped as she placed her warm palm on my thigh so near my heated cock. "I am going to start referring to you as a girl." Sophia stated matter-of-factually. "Okay." I didn't honestly care either way. In fact, something inside me secretly thrilled at her calling me a girl. "Remember how I taught you to masturbate yourself?" "Yes Ma'am." I felt something heady settle in my belly. "I want to watch you do it again." She reached for my hand and wrapped it around my thick long cock. I immediately started to stroke myself there as she had shown me the night before. It felt so good and instantly cream began to ooze out of the head of my cock. Sophia didn't hesitate in taking some of the white cream on her finger and then putting it in her mouth. I grunted loudly at the feel of her finger sliding over the swollen big head of my cock. I kept stroking and without even thinking I reached with my other hand to tug on my elongated nipples. I closed my eyes and sank into the sensations. I bit my lower lip to the point of almost hurting. My heart was racing and my breathing was coming faster. I noticed Sophia was breathing harder too. She seemed as caught up in what I was doing as I was. I was getting closer and closer. My heavy balls tightened painfully. I was so close. Almost there. "Stop!" Sophia commanded and pulled my hand away. My eyes flew open in pain and disbelief. My jaw dropped but I couldn't form any words. My balls were so tight and so painful. I needed release. Tears sprang to my eyes as new sensations coursed through me. Sophia leaned forward and ran her hands over my face. She cradled my face and brought hers near. "Shhh sweet one. It is going to be okay. I know it hurts, but not tonight. You have got to promise me you won't allow yourself to climax until I say you can, do you promise?" I looked at her. I was in a haze of discomfort like I had never known. Sure I had denied myself release before, but not like this. Not when I had been right at the brink of oblivion. Not when my balls were so close to erupting. A tear slid down my cheek and she leaned forward and kissed it away. "I promise." I whispered. "I am going to love you Kai. Mark my words." I was stunned, but I also knew I was already falling in love with Sophia. I simply nodded and tried to get my breathing back under control. Sophia jumped to her feet. "Let's go swimming!" Her voice was playful now. She quickly shed her clothes and stood before me just as naked as myself. My jaw dropped. I stared rudely. I had never seen another naked person before. I had certainly never seen a woman naked before. Her breasts were small compared to my own and the nipples were also small and dark. Her stomach was mostly flat but had a nice soft roundness that mine lacked. Her legs were short and muscular. It seemed impossible but my cock grew harder and my balls grew far more painful while looking at her. I noted that she somehow had no hair between her legs. "Come on!" She called out as she turned and dashed toward the water. The cool water helped to sooth me. We played and swam for the better part of an hour. We splashed and chased each other. Every so often Sophia would swim close to my body allowing hers to slide against mine. It felt incredibly erotic and left me breathless with needs I truly didn't even understand. Once we were both refreshed and tired of swimming we trudged back onto the riverbank and back to her blanket. It was plenty warm and we didn't need to cover up. We settled down onto the blanket and immediately found each other wrapping our arms around one another. Our naked bodies pressed close together. "Kai?" "Yes Ma'am?" "I have brought some things for you. I want you to take them with you. I brought you a brassiere. Will you try wearing it?" "I will try." The idea made me both nervous and excited. I had wanted one for a long time. I had larger breasts than most women in my village. "I also brought you some body sugaring. It is for hair removal. You spread it over the hair you wish to remove then place a cotton strip and then pull away quickly. It will remove unwanted hair." I must have looked as confused as I felt because she explained further. "I want you to remove the hair from under your arms, all the hair from your legs, and all the hair at your crotch. I want you to be very careful but be sure to remove all the hair on your balls as well." I bit my lower lip hard. I wasn't sure how I felt about this, but nonetheless I found myself agreeing. "Yes Ma'am." She reached into her bag and handed me a bundle of items. "There is also some lovely coconut hair wash, and a comb, oh and some lotion. Use all of it. I want to you to be soft and smell pretty. You are such a lovely girl that it only seems fitting. There is another little surprise in there but I won't tell you. You can discover later at home. " "Thank you." I said genuinely. I had never been given a nicer gift. I loved all the feminine things she had bestowed on me. I planned to use them just as she had asked me to. We sat in silence for a while longer. Our arms clinging to each other. I felt sadness overtake me when she pulled back and dislodged her arms from their tangle with my own. She reach over and took my face and kissed me. It was like nothing I could ever imagine in my wildest dreams. Her lips danced over my own and I could feel a slight moistness from hers. She tilted her head and parted her lips. On instinct I parted mine as well. Her playful tongue slide over my bottom lip and into my mouth. It massaged my tongue. I could taste her and it was intoxicating. Before I knew what was happening she was on her feet and pulling her clothes back on. She collected her things quickly and began to run off, but before she did she turned to face me. "Kai, please remember you promised not to orgasm. I trust you to keep your promise. Also, please remove all the hair, but be careful sweetie. " "I promise." I said solemnly. "Oh, and one last thing. I can't be here tomorrow night, but I will be the next night. I can't wait to see you again!" And she was gone. She sprinted into the trees and disappeared. I missed her even before she was out of sight. Long Dark Nights - Kai's Story Ch. 03 I woke up earlier the next day with excitement coursing through me. I couldn't wait to fully examine in the daylight the items Sophia had given me. I sat near the window and opened the tin that held the body sugaring salve. It smelled almost good enough to eat. I closed the tin and sat it beside me on the floor. Next I pulled out the brasserie. It wasn't fancy at all, but certainly functional. I held it up to my big tits and surprisingly it seemed like it would fit. I decided I would put it on after bathing. I put it aside and reached for the lotion, bar soap and hair soap. It smelled girly and lovely. I couldn't wait to use it. There was one more item in the bundle. I reached for the silky material and found myself holding the most exquisite pair of women's underwear. Did Sophia mean these for me to wear? She must have! I ran the underwear over my cheek and revelled in the feel against my skin. I realized then that I absolutely could not wait to wear these undergarments that had originally been intended for women. I was hard and throbbing at the thought. I also realized I wanted more women's clothing. I wanted to feel and look feminine and pretty for Sophia. I went to my door and listened for my parents. My dad would be away working, and most likely my mother was out in her gardens. She spent hours a day tending to her expansive gardens. She had no choice since they were both a source of food, as well as income. The house was silent. I stepped out of my room and crept down the hallway. Everything was quiet and still, so I snuck to my mother's bedroom. I went right for her cabinet and dug to the very back where she kept the clothes that no longer fit her. I knew her tops would not fit over my huge tits. Her chest was much smaller than mine. Her older skirts fit my narrow waist and hips perfectly though. I found three that I liked a lot and tucked them under my arm. I turned quickly to sneak back to my room before my mother could return. My heart slammed into my chest when I realized that I was too late. I saw her as soon as I turned. I was immediately conscious of how I would look in her eyes. My tits were huge and heavy with thick juicy nipples that my light sleep top did absolutely nothing to conceal. In fact I knew my nipples and areolas would be highly visible through the fabric. I wore loose cotton sleep pants that were equally bad at concealing my enormous, and embarrassingly semi-hard cock. My hair was long and flowed down over my shoulders and back. I was stunning without a doubt, but a monster all the same. The sheer look of terror on my mother's face spoke volumes. I felt my heart constrict painfully in my chest as she gasped and crossed herself before placing her hand over her gaping mouth. "Kai?." She gasped. I didn't respond. I was simply too stunned by being caught and seen by her. I had known the day would eventually come, but I had hoped to minimize the damage of what she or my father would see when it happened. I had hoped to try to conceal my big tits and of course my equine-like cock. I felt so exposed I wanted to vomit. "What happened to you?" She asked softly as tears filled her eyes. I didn't respond. I stared at her and she stared back. I knew what she was seeing. She saw woman where her son should be. "Did you do this somehow?" She asked so softly it was hard to hear her. "No!" I needed her to believe me. I didn't want to be this way. I wanted to be a normal man and lead a normal man's life. That, unfortunately, was not a possibility for me. I moved a little toward her, pleadingly. She jumped back. "Mother, please believe me..." "Kai, my eyes are tricking me. I don't know what to believe." "I know what I look like mother. I have always been slight and small. I was forever being mistaken for a girl. Then puberty came and I grew these." I gestured toward my pendulous tits. I watched my mother as she seemed to calm a little. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I was so scared." It was the truth. I was scared that they wouldn't love me. I was scared they would send me away. I was scared of the very look I was seeing now in her eyes. A choked sob escaped from my mother. "Kai....Kai...." she couldn't finished what she wanted to say. She crossed the small space between us and wrapped her arms around me. It was the first time my mother had hugged me since I was a child. Soon enough we were both blubbering and crying. "Please don't be scared, Kai. I am your mother. I love you exactly as you are." The words left her lips and lodged in my heart. Instantly I fully relaxed into her embrace. There was nothing so soothing as a mother's unconditional love. "I have so many questions Kai, it has been so long since you let me talk to you!" "I will answer anything." I wanted to bare my soul to her. She stepped back and looked me up and down. "If it wasn't for that massive thing between your legs you would surpass the most stunning woman in the village as most beautiful." Her voice was filled with awe. I blushed furiously. "I need to see you!" She declared in a purely efficient way. I took another step back letting her fully take in what I had become. "No no! Take off everything." I peered at her unsure what to do. Did she really want to see me completely nude? This hardly seemed appropriate, however I also didn't blame her for her curiosity. I hesitated and shuffled my feet several times while she stared on expectantly. Finally, seeing little reason not to show her I stripped off my sleep clothes and stood completely nude before my mother. Immediately, my horse cock thickened and lengthened. I was ashamed of this, but it was always like this. I was hard more often than I was phallic. "I am sorry." I stammered. "Oh! It's okay, my son." She flapped her hand in the air as if to say all was normal. I watched her examine me. At first she pointedly ignored my massive throbbing cock. She looked at my face, and she touched my hair. She ran the silky strands through her fingers. Her fingers then trailed down my face and over my plump lips. She continued to explore with her fingers down my neck and finally to the top of my tits. Without hesitation she used both hands and cupped my tits. My thick nipples were hard and long beyond reason. The skin of my areolas puckered tight. I stifled a groan as she ran her thumbs over the excessively sensitive nipples. "These are amazing..." She whispered. She looked down at her own and then back at mine with awe in her expression. I remained silent as she continued to toy with my tits. She examined them totally and I assume found them to be perfectly natural. Finally she moved her hands away and left them to hang heavy on my frame. "Do you hate them?" "No. I answered honestly. I hated the effect they had on my life, or lack of life, but I loved my tits. They were a part of me. They made me feel feminine. I loved my sensitive nipples. I loved looking down and seeing deep cleavage. "They are a part of me." She nodded but didn't respond. Her dry warm hands continued down my flat stomach. She was getting nearer and nearer to my pulsing cock. I felt a bit of the white cream ooze out. I felt even more ashamed now. "I am sorry, Mama. It is always like this. I can't seem to stop it." "It's okay, Kai. It is so large!" I looked down in time to see one of her hands wrap around my shaft and her other hand tucked between my legs to cup my enormous balls. I held my breath and didn't move. I felt a trickle of sweat run down my back. There was no excitement, because she's my mother. I didn't feel any desires toward my mother. It was the situation that was making my mind and body go crazy. "You are so large and heavy here! Impossibly large!" She was talking more to herself than me. "Do you hate this?" She asked. "No." Again this was an honest answer. It was big and uncomfortable. It was embarrassing, but I loved my cock. It made me a man. I loved being a man. "I can't imagine a woman being able to make love to you." Her voice was filled with dismay. Suddenly she looked up at me while still holding my manhood. "Do you like women?" I look at my mother surprised by her question. I had always assumed she knew little of the world. Less than me, and I knew very little. It was also an odd question that I had never considered before. I felt a bit ambiguous. I thought of Sophia. She excited me a lot. I did like women, but I also revelled in being feminine like a woman. I thought about other men, and to my surprise the intimate idea of another man did not repulse me. If anything it intrigued me. I decided to answer honestly without volunteering extra information. "I like women." Once again she nodded but made no comment. She touched me a little and brought her fingers up over the massive thick purple head of my cock. She got some of the white cream on her fingers but didn't seem to mind at all. I let out a shuddering breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I relaxed slightly as she finally pulled her hands away from my cock. "Turn around." I spun to put my back to her. Curious hands ran down over my backside. She touched and caressed before pulling the cheeks of my ass apart. Instinctively I bent forward a little to let her see me there too. When she had looked her fill she turned me back toward her. "Kai, you are lovely. Every part of you is amazing." Her eyes showed me that she truly meant every word. "I am a freak of nature." "Your body is different, but that doesn't make you a freak. Your face is that of a Goddess. Your breasts a large and firm. Your stomach is flat and your hips narrow. Your backside is rounded. And that cock, Kai, that cock is like nothing else I have ever seen. You are so large. Your balls are so full. Men would give anything to carry a cock like that between their legs!" I mumbled incoherently as cream leaked from my cock and dripped onto my feet. I was feeling anxious now. I wanted to retreat and hide. "I will need to tell your father, but I am not sure how yet. Give me time with that. We will help you Kai. We will find a woman or maybe a whole harem of women that will love you and honour you. They will worship that cock." "I would like to go bathe now." I gave my excuse to escape. "What do you have there?" She pointed at the forgotten skirts tucked under the sleep clothes I had taken off. I blushed furiously at having been caught. "Oh...I am sorry. I wanted some skirts." "To wear?" "Yes. Outwardly I appear more female than male. I want to wear women's clothing sometimes. I should not have taken them without permission." I looked at my feet for a long moment. She eyed me up and down. "Not to worry. Take them. I will get you some tops that will fit you, and some undergarments. "Do you want to often dress as a woman?" "Yes, I think I do." I was still digesting this knowledge myself. It was confusing trying to explain it to my mother. She nodded. "I will get you clothing, Kai." With that she stooped and picked up the skirts and my sleep clothing and put them in my arms. She kissed me on my cheek and scooted me out of the room. I went back to my room and I ran myself a bath. I felt shaky and confused but somehow so much lighter. I found myself singing and it was the sound of a woman singing. I sank low into the warm bath water and reveled in cleansing myself with the soaps that Sophia had given me. I took particular pleasure in stroking my soapy hands up and down my shaft of my cock. I was careful to stop long before I got to the point of releasing my cream. I remembered my promise to Sophia. The problem was that my balls were growing increasingly tight and painful. They felt so full and heavy and I knew a release would make it all better. As I lazed in the tub I considered doing it despite my promise. I reasoned that she could not possibly know. I started to stroke myself again under the water, but this time in earnest. It felt incredible and I quickly came to the brink where I knew I was about to explode. Suddenly, I stopped. Tears flooded my eyes as my balls almost felt as if someone had suddenly squeezed then with a tight grip. A sob escaped my chest as I suddenly decided that I needed to honour my promise to Sophia. I would deny myself the pleasure and release I needed so badly. Tears streamed down my face. I was a mess all of a sudden. The pain in my balls left me breathless. Knowing I could make the pain go away but I refused to allow myself was confusing. I needed to give some serious thought to who I was and what I was. I slowly tried to sit back in the tub and breathe deeply. I knew the pain would not go away but it would surely ease. I let my mind wander as the water cooled around me. I knew I liked women because Sophia excited me. I thought of a another man naked and touching me, and somehow the excitement was still there. Of course I could never know for sure either way. I had never actually been with a woman or a man. Even Sophia had barely touched me. This begged more questions. Why had I denied myself the release? Why had I made such a promise to her? Why had she asked me not to climax? She tended to give me orders now that I thought about it. More interestingly, I liked it. What did that mean about me? I couldn't wait to talk to Sophia and try to figure this all out. Once out of the bath, I fully dried while emptying the tub. My skin smelled delicious. I immediately set about my next task. I needed to remove all the hair from under my arms, my legs and my crotch. I needed to be perfectly smooth for Sophia. I decided to start with me legs. I sat on the floor with the pot of sugaring beside me. I used a thin smooth wood stick to smooth it over the hair on my legs. I was uncoordinated and messy. but still managed. I placed a small swath of cotton cloth over the sugaring. Taking the bottom of the cotton strip I pulled up fast and hard. I barely contained the scream that wanted to rip from my chest. It was one of the worst pains I had ever felt. My reddened skin vibrated with pain. I decided to quit. There was no way I could do this for Sophia. I could not endure this kind of pain to the point of removing all my bodily hair. I sat there for a moment feeling defeated and more than a little sad. Then as Sophia's face played in my mind I knew I would do this for her, no matter how excruciating it was. I set back about my task until I was completely battered and crying, but smooth and hair free everywhere. When it was over I felt relieved beyond words. I kind of liked the smooth feel, but decided to explore that more later when I wasn't still reeling from it all. When I was done with my bath I returned to my room. The afternoon was getting later, but my room was not dark like usual. A lit oil lamp sat on the floor just a bit away from my bed. On my bed sat a pile of neatly folded women's clothing. Near the clothes sat my dinner. My mother's quiet acceptance and love left me grateful and humbled. If she could accept the monster her son had become, then I could accept myself too. *** I was rock hard the entire time walking to the lake the next night. I absolutely could not wait to see Sophia. I felt lighter than I had in my entire life. I was still flying high on my mother having seen me and still loving me. My smooth balls were painful and heavy between my legs, and the swish of my skirt over my cock was both amazing and excruciating. Now that I understood the relief a purposeful climax could give me, I craved it to the point it was hard to concentrate. Once again Sophia was already there waiting for me. She looked like an angel sitting in the moonlight next to the water. My heart skipped several beats I was so pleased she was there. I wondered if she would have me undress. I couldn't wait for her to see me in my women's under things, but more than that I couldn't wait for her to see me hairless. It was strange, but felt so sensitive and wonderful. As I drew closer I immediately noticed that she was completely naked. I moved a little faster. My balls held snug in the woman's underwear but my cock was hanging out the leg opening and was beginning to dribble cream. My mouth watered as I could make out the round globes of her tits. "My Kai! You look so beautiful. Come stand in front of me and show me how pretty you are!" I stopped right in front of Sophia, then I spun in a little pirouette like a real woman. My skirt flourished a little around my legs. She seemed pleased. "You really do look wonderful and your tits look so good in a brassiere. Do you like it?" "Yes, I feel very pretty tonight. I wanted to look perfect for you." Sophia nodded thoughtfully at me as she reached out and ran her hand over my leg. "Oh so smooth!" she squealed. I was thrilled that she was pleased. "Take some off....let me see!" I didn't hesitate at all. I slipped my skirt off and pulled my top off. I stood in just my feminine panties and brassiere. My cock jutted toward Sophia's face from the leg opening. "Do I look pretty?" I asked shyly. "Oh yes Kai! You look lovely! Leave the panties on, but take off your brassiere." She instructed. I did as I was told. She told me to sit down. "I don't have much time tonight, Kai. However, we are going to give you some release tonight." Before I knew what she was going to do she swooped down and took the head of my cock in her mouth. It was the most electrifying feeling ever. I could see her small mouth was stretched as wide as it could get. She couldn't possibly take more than the tip in her tiny mouth. Her small hands fluttered around my cock like butterflies before landing and stroking me. I groaned loudly. This was like nothing else I had ever experienced. Having someone else touch me was heady and intoxicating. I had never imagined someone even attempting to put their mouth anywhere near my genitals. She kept her mouth stretched tightly around me while she stroked me fast. Perhaps even too fast, but I didn't complain. I felt my balls tighten and knew I was on the verge of a climax. Not knowing what to do I panted. "Sophia...I...um....I'm going to...." With a quick motion of her hand she silenced me. Then she quickly returned that hand to my pulsing cock and continued to stroke fast. It took only seconds before I erupted into her mouth. I couldn't help but watch. She valiantly tried to swallow, but some exploded from the sides of her lips. Finally she pulled back with my cream leaking down her chin. She was breathing hard and her eyes were a bit wild even in the moonlight. She leaned forward quickly and kissed me hard. She used her slick tongue to force my mouth open and as soon as it did she dumped a huge amount of my own cream into my mouth. I swallowed it all down hungrily while kissing her with passion I had never experienced before. As we caught our breath, Sophia leaned against me and snuggled. So many emotions coursed through me. I knew that I was falling in love with Sophia. I also knew Sophia belong to another man. A man that looked and lived as a real man. A man that was a doctor and a missionary. I knew what we were doing was sinful, and unforgivable. However, I couldn't stop myself. I wanted so much more of Sophia. "Kai, I have something to ask you." "You can ask me anything." I stroked her soft locks of hair at her shoulder. "As you know I am married. I love my husband. With that being said, I am terribly unhappy and unfulfilled. He knows it too. He doesn't know how to fix it, so instead he ignores me and hopes it will get better." My heart tripped at the sadness in her voice. "I have no idea how any man could ignore you." "Kai, I want to ask him if I can have you. How do you feel about that?" I felt confused. What did she mean by "have me"? Like I am an object to be kept? "What do you mean?" Long Dark Nights - Kai's Story Ch. 03 "Like a pet. I want him to allow me to keep you as my pet." I was hurt. Her words stung and I pulled away from her. I'm a person, not an animal and not a pet. I had been so sure Sophia accepted me as I was. I had clearly given her more credit than she deserved. She saw me as some kind of animal to be kept like a collectable. I imagined her sending letters back to her friends in Italy and telling them all of the monstrosity she had found and made into her pet. I stood and stalked away from her. I felt disappointed in her and disgusted in myself for letting my defences down. "I am a person, Sophia." I said quietly. I gathered my clothes to get dressed. I wanted to be as far away from her as possible. With my head hung I turned my back to her. "Kai! Of course you are a person, but you can belong to me like a pet. I will take care of you and love you. It sounds so unlikely, but he wants me to be happy. Thing is he doesn't know how to make me happy." I glanced over my shoulder at Sophia. "You make me seem like a dog. Why don't get just get a dog!" I had tugged on the rest of my clothes. I looked at Sophia one last time before turning and running off as fast as I could. Tears streamed down my face as I escaped through the forest back toward my family home. I had trusted and I had been wrong. Tonight had been thrilling and devastating.