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Punished at St Sade's

By: Julie20



I went to boarding school at the Convent of St Sade where rigid discipline was very much at the centre of life. It was a "crammer" for 18 year olds who had failed their A levels. No-one knows more about punishment than nuns and correct behaviour was enforced by pain and humiliation. All of us girls came from the sort of home where our school hols were spent under the watchful eye of our parents and there was definitely no opportunity to meet boys during term time so I am fairly certain we were all virgins. I know I was. Of course I knew the mechanics of sex and where he put his horrible thing up inside you but the thought of a boy doing that to you horrified most of us and none of us had actually seen an example of the organ in question. We were told that when we became married we would do our duty in allowing our husbands to do what they needed to do to us.

Modesty was seen as very important so that when we undressed for bed in the dorm we would always pull on our nightdress before reaching up inside it to remove our knickers. When we changed for gym we would face the wall so there was no chance of anyone seeing our breasts or, heaven forbid, anything "down there". Of course facing the wall meant that one's curved girlish buttocks and the unspeakable dirty slot between them were facing the room but, as all the other girls were facing the wall, no-one should even see our bottoms. When we went to the showers we were wrapped in our towels until we were between the individual partition walls in the showers which came up to our neck.

If any girl did take an unhealthy interest in one's body it would be our duty to report her to the nuns. We were all encouraged to inform on our friends because if you saw your friend going wrong it was your duty to report her so that she could be punished and corrected otherwise you would be guilty of the same sin as her. 

Despite all these controlling measures we were all normal healthy, growing girls with the attendant passions but when you could not resist doing – that is when you found your hand going where we could not even mention in bed – you had to make sure that you were under the covers in the dark and you made yourself keep silent and prayed that the bed did not creak. If one of the other girls heard you pleasuring yourself she might report you and then you would have to stand up in Assembly and tell the whole school what you had done. This would probably be followed by a very thorough caning with you stretched over the table and facing the school so that they did not see your bare bottom when you were bent over with your skirt raised and your knickers around your ankles. The staff sat on the platform in Assembly so all the staff, some of whom were MEN would see your bare behind and the vivid red stripes across the white flesh. Of course being seen red faced with your nose running and tears streaming down your cheeks as you kicked your feet and begged for mercy was so deeply humiliating that it added to the pain of the caning. 

The Headmistress was Reverend Mother who was a very strict and severe nun who had been a nun since she was sixteen and she had definitely never been troubled by unnatural urges of the flesh. There were, as has been said above, some men on the staff; some were ordained priests and some were not. I guess crushes between girls and staff of either gender may have happened but the consequences of these becoming known do not bear thinking about.

So it was against this background that I made my big mistake. I had happened to find the word "Lesbian" in a dictionary. You will think me very immature for an eighteen year old but you have to remember the sheltered world in which we were all kept; our television and reading material were very strictly controlled and most of us hardly knew ANYTHING. Well at tea time I was giggling with my friends around our table and I said that I thought Sister Fortitude was probably a lesbian. How could I have been so stupid, stupid, stupid?

Of course one of them was bound to inform on me and the axe fell at breakfast the following morning. As I came into the refectory with the rest of my dorm Sister Patience bustled over to me and told me to have a drink of orange juice and then hurry to Reverend Mother's study. For a moment I froze in horror. I was being summoned to Reverend Mother's room and was not even being allowed breakfast; of course I had forgotten my casual remarks of the day before so I had no idea of the reason for my summons but I knew it could only be bad. The other girls said nothing as I gulped down a glass of juice and then practically ran out of the refectory fearful of keeping Mother waiting.

I stood in front of the ornately carved oak door trying to control my panting and making sure that my hair was not straggling over my face then I knocked and heard her commanding voice bid me enter. She was sitting behind her huge desk and she did not ask me to sit so I stood practically to attention but with my hands entwined just below my waist. Reverend Mother did not waste any time before coming to the point and she spoke about the sins of gossip and false witness and coarse language. Of course with every word she spoke I felt more and more wretched and she made me sound like the Whore of Babylon. Then she paused for a second before pronouncing sentence.

"You are to be sent to do penance in the annex."

My mouth fell open and I thought I was going to faint. She might as well have punched me in the stomach. The annex was a self contained part of the school building down in the East Wing. It was reached down a cold gothic stone passage and through a huge arched oak door which was always kept locked. The domain of fear was presided over by Father Worthy and Sister Penitence who was a grim faced and terrifying nun. Father Worthy was a huge man with a red face. If he so much as looked at you he made you want to back away, his eyes seemed to bore right into you stripping away all your clothes and he gave the impression that he could see right into your mind and was disgusted at what he saw. Some girls had gone to the annex and never been seen, or even spoken of, again. Mostly girls did return from their penance but none of them would ever say a word about what happened there. Some girls had been sentenced to spend every weekend in the annex and on Friday evening before going to knock on the terrible door they would be really quiet and withdrawn.

My shocked and befuddled mind was dimly aware that Mother was still speaking and I forced myself to try to take in what she was saying. It seemed that before being taken to the annex I was to be made an example to the rest of the school and, in Reverend Mother's warped, sadistic mind, the punishment would fit the crime.

".......and so, as you have tried to undermine Sister Fortitude's dignity by your slander you, in turn, will find what it means to lose your dignity. You will now remove your clothing."

My arms, of their own volition, went across my chest in defence and my mouth fell open in horror. Surely she could not mean that I was to undress right here in front of her in the middle of her study. She raised her voice in command.

"If you continue to disobey me I will have Father Worthy undress you on the platform in Assembly."

Driven by the fear of having that man touch me I stripped off my red cardigan and placed it on a chair then I pulled off my tie and it joined the cardigan. Anxious to obey the command of the woman who was silently watching my every move my fingers fumbled open the buttons on my white blouse and put the garment on the chair. I now felt very exposed with lots of bare white skin showing and my neat little breasts only protected by the white regulation school issue bra.

Stealing a glance at the woman who was looking at me with utter contempt on her face I knew I had to further expose myself. Miserably I reached behind, which pushed my breasts out, to unfasten the grey skirt and let it fall. Now I was just in white kneesocks and my white bra together with my regulation white cotton knicks. I had to stoop to pick up my skirt and place it on the chair and, as I did so, I was very aware of showing my cleavage to the hawklike pedagogue behind the big oak desk.

Although her instruction to undress had been clear I could not imagine she meant me to uncover any more of my body so I stood facing her with my fingers woven together in front of the slight, puffy swell between my legs. No-one had seen me so unprotected except the school doctor who made annual inspections and I even hated exposing my body to the doctor as keeping covered up had been so ingrained into every girl in the school.

Her voice was level and terrifying as she spoke.

"You have not finished doing what you were told to do girl and my patience with your disobedience is beginning to wear very thin."

I knew that the command carried within it a threat of more punishment and as my self- respect drained away I hunched up my body and reached behind to my bra clasp. As I pulled the straps from my shoulders the garment came away and I felt the cold air on my boobs. I was aware of a very uncomfortable tingling in my tender nipples as I placed the warm bra on the chair and then made my hands go to the sides of my knickers and push downwards.

My face was burning as I exposed my little furry triangle to the woman's eyes and I was aware that the embarrassing hair did nothing to cover the fleshy lips between my thighs. I also shed my shoes and socks.

Reverend Mother stood and came around to my side of the desk.

"Have you not learned to fold your clothes child?"

"Yes Reverend Mother, sorry Reverend Mother."

I bent to fold each garment aware of my breasts hanging free. To my intense alarm my nipples had swollen and I had a terrible urge to caress them to ease the discomfort but I knew I could not do that. There was also a tightness between my legs which was increasing.

When there was a neat pile of folded laundry on the chair Reverend Mother ordered me to fold my arms behind my back and hold my elbows in my hands. As soon as I had adopted the humiliating position she strode to the door and opened it.

"Come with me."

This was too much. I fell to my knees on the carpet.

"Please Reverend Mother don't make me go out into the corridor. I can't go out there like this. Please."

She moved like lightning towards me and I never saw the slaps coming. Her hand caught me across the left cheek and then zipped back onto the right making my face sting, my ears ring and my eyes water. The anger in her voice was terrifying.

"Get up right now and come with me!"

It was impossible to withstand the force of her command. I stood, placed my arms behind me and walked out of the door into the corridor with her. Girls were trooping into Assembly and, of course, they all gawped at my naked body. Some gasped and others giggled with their hands over their mouth. The air was full of whispering. In utter misery I walked beside Reverend Mother into the hall and up the steps onto the platform where she positioned me at the side of the stage facing my peers.

I was looking at my toes and trying to make the tensions in my nipples and down there go away as Reverend Mother opened the Assembly and then she began to speak about me. Every word was like a whiplash as she told the whole school what a disgusting creature I was and how I needed correction for my own good and to discourage any girl who might be in danger of becoming like me. Towards the end of the discourse when I was having to work really hard at not sobbing out loud she put her hand into the pocket of her habit and took out a large white bar of school soap. She advanced upon me telling the school about the penalty for filthy speech and she ordered me to open my mouth.

Of course I obeyed and she thrust the soap into my mouth and commanded me to bite down. A ripple of laughter ran around the hall and then Assembly continued with songs, prayers and notices as I stood naked, exposed and totally humiliated. But she was not done with me yet as I discovered at the end of Assembly. 

"Because Tara has chosen to use her tongue for such filthy purposes she will be denied the gift of speech for the rest of the day and she will spend the day in humiliation in the hope that she learns not to repeat her offences."

The whole school knew the traditional way of denying speech and, sure enough, the cast iron scold bridle was brought from the back of the platform. It was made of black strips of metal and looked rather like a domed bird cage. The thick band around the base hinged open and when it was swung shut the thick, iron tongue welded to the inside was forced between the lips of the unfortunate wearer. Rev Mother removed the soap from my mouth leaving evil tasting foam filling my mouth and then the dome went over my head and the cold iron invaded my mouth and the device was padlocked shut with the lock hanging from the front of the base band. Because of the domed structure going up over my head like a helmet I was forced to look at the world through the bars as my mouth was held wide open by the iron between my teeth.

I was made to stand naked and bridled as the whole school filed out past me and then Reverend Mother told me to go to join my classmates. I was to follow my normal school timetable but, of course, I would not be taking part in any discussions in class or even during breaks. 

The first lesson was French with Sister Patience and, of course, I arrived last and had to slip into my place as the lesson began. Someone had placed my book bag beside my chair. The wooden chair was cold and it stuck to the skin of my buttocks. Whenever I tried to move I made a rude sound as my skin came free of the wood and made my classmates giggle. I cannot describe how it felt to be sitting there with my naked nipples pointing at Sister Patience at the front of the class but the thought was beginning to fill my mind that the next lesson was Maths with Mr Turner. I was certain that I would die of embarrassment.

Well, eventually the lesson ended with all the girls around me putting up their hands and answering questions while I sat mute with all that humiliating ironwork locked on my head. Now I knew that I would have to stand up and walk out of the room showing once again my dark secret hair and my most private place down there. My heart was pounding as I stood up and, of course, my bum had stuck to the chair so it came free with a loud noise and a tearing sensation which made me squeal into my iron gag.

Two girls behind me giggled.

"She's got a red bum as if she's been spanked."

"Well she should be spanked for running around with nothing on like that. She's lewd."

Of course I could not answer them. My heart was still pounding as I made my way to the maths room where I would meet Mr Turner the youngish Maths master. How could I possibly bear him looking at my naked body? And to make it worse I was damp between my legs and my nipples were standing out like two tiny red cucumbers. As I went into his room I held my book bag in front of me which made walking awkward and I hurried to sit down.

"Tara's in my place Sir."

"Tara, you know where your seat is. Move so Jenny can sit down."

Feeling foolish I moved my seat once more giving his eyes another good look at my body. We did a practical exercise which involved measuring the room with yardsticks and tapes and Mr Turner made me move around the room helping with this so I had to hold one end of the tape. This involved crouching down with my boobs hanging down and reaching right up into the top corner of the room, so I was on tiptoe at full stretch and showing every detail of my body. 

Laura, on the other end of the tape, took so long to write down the measurement that I had to stand like that for ages and I was so embarrassed that I fumbled and dropped the tape to a chorus of "Oh Tara" from the whole class. I bent down to retrieve the tape and returned to my horribly exposed position until Laura had done what she had to do then, when I was allowed to move, I stumbled over a wastebin and blundered into a desk causing it to move and bang into Susan who screamed in pain. Mr Turner happened to be holding a wooden yardstick at the time and he brought it down with all his strength across my naked buttock making me scream into my gag and cut my mouth in the process. Of course the whole class laughed.

He spoke to me angrily.

"Tara, if you cannot do anything constructive you had better spend the rest of the lesson standing on that chair at the back of the room."

Miserably I climbed onto the chair with my face to the wall and he told me to turn around so that I could still see the blackboard (and so that he could see the front of my body). So there I stood for the rest of the lesson balancing on the seat of the chair. Because I was at the back of the class they all had their backs to me although several girls could not help turning around to steal a peep at me. Mr Turner was facing me the whole time and enjoying an uninterrupted view of my boobs. I kept my hands clasped in front of my fuzzbush with my left hand over the top of the right one but I could not keep my right hand from pressing into my soft depths which made standing still quite an effort. I have to admit that I felt a certain degree of pride to see the definite bulge in the front of Mr Turner's trousers and to know that it showed he was being affected by me. This pride was tinged with a little fear as I was fairly sure that his filthy male mind was imagining doing unspeakable things to me.

After an absolute age the bell signalled the start of Break and the girls trooped out while I was made to stay in place until they had all gone. Then Mr T gave me permission to follow the others which meant that I had to walk the length of an empty classroom under his lustful eyes. As usual a lot of the girls went to the tuck shop at break but, of course, this was denied to me as a girl can neither eat nor drink with a lot of scrap iron locked into her mouth. I was hungry and thirsty and was a little worried about what was going to happen at lunchtime. Break was a very lonely time as I could not speak to my friends and none of them wanted to be with me for fear of incurring Reverend Mother's wrath for associating with such a sinner as myself.

The end of Break was a relief in the sense of ending my time alone just resting up against a wall watching all the other girls from afar but it also meant another ordeal. The whole time from Break to Lunch was a Gym lesson and Gym was taken by the very same Sister Fortitude whose sexual leanings I had slandered. Sister Fortitude was younger than most of the other nuns and she normally wore a navy tracksuit instead of a nun's habit although she did keep her head covered in a black scarf. I had been having dark thoughts about the young nun during break because I had realised for the first time that Sister Fortitude always supervised us in the changing room and showers. In my girlish naiveté I had always assumed that she did this to ensure we did not transgress the rules but now, for the first time, it had occurred to me to wonder why she spent so much time among naked and half naked schoolgirls. I was very nervous about how she would treat the girl who had spread gossip about her.

Everyone else in the class trooped into the changing rooms but Fortitude stood at the changing room door and ordered me to follow her into the gymnasium while the other girls changed. Of course I would spend the whole lesson in the same humiliating nudity as I had spent the rest of the morning.

There was a distinctly unpleasant tilt at the corner of Fortitude's mouth as she told me that I would spend the time waiting for the other girls to change by warming up. Then she began barking orders for me to do star jumps, running on the spot and sit ups. I was very aware of how my little boobs bounced and how much I showed of my most intimate parts as I did my enforced exercise with the padlock on the front of my bridle rattling. I was sure that Fortitude was really enjoying my discomfort. As I was bouncing about with my skin scarlet and running in perspiration girls began to drift in from changing and they just stood and watched while making little remarks among themselves.


Punished at St Sade's Ch. 02



The Second Bite

Fortitude was actually a very moral person. I had been at St Sade's for a long time before she introduced me to her special kind of love and then it was only after I had been sent to the annex to do penance for falling foul of Reverend Mother's strict rules.

After I served my penance and returned to the main school Fortitude and myself had to keep seeing each other but, of course, this was very dangerous for both of us and we had to be extremely careful. Sometimes she would summon me to her office on some pretext and we would make love behind the locked door or, on other occasions, we would sneak separately into the sports pavilion where Fortitude would lock us in and we would lie in each other's arms on cushions on the floor. It was during these times that our conversation would nearly always find its way to the paradox of pain and pleasure and to the essential balance between sin and punishment. 

During my ordeal in the annex at the merciless hands of Father Worthy and his acolyte, Sister Penitence, I had been awakened to the inbuilt kink in my nature which dreaded being hurt but also craved the cleansing power of pain. Fortitude and myself were kindred spirits in that she had learned many years ago to need pain and I greatly admired her powers of endurance. At Sade's hardly anything is allowed to remain secret (which made our meetings all the more frightening) and Father Worthy and Reverend Mother were very well aware of the deep flaw within Sister Fortitude. For this reason she herself was obliged to make regular visits to the terrible annex to be subjected to a level of pain and humiliation which I found it hard to contemplate.

While I had been imprisoned in the annex I had witnessed my dearest Fortitude enduring her penance and seen her body twisting and writhing as she absorbed the penalty for her sins and the sight had repelled me but at the same time I just could not forget it. I could not rid myself of that perverted curiosity. What would it be like?

The human mind is infinitely complex and I believe that no mind is able to frame rational sentences to describe its own profound workings but somehow the image of Fortitude bearing her suffering had become bound up with our secret forbidden love for each other. This was what I was trying to put into words as the shadows on our naked flesh deepened that evening as we lay beside each other with the perspiration shining on our bodies. Could I endure pain to prove my love for Dearest Fortitude, could that noble act deepen the bond which we had and oh what heights of ecstasy we would reach when I returned to her arms for her to sooth my scars after I had born my just punishment. 

Fortitude understood my deep need for cleansing pain as she knew well the deep guilt which we both carried and she knew that only real penance could balance on the scales the forbidden joys which we shared. However there was genuine concern in her voice as she whispered to me with her tender lips brushing my ears.

"What you are suggesting is very noble Sweet Tara but I hope you understand that the penance would have to be real. This could not be a sort of game or act. You must realise that if you did this thing you would have to subject yourself to Father Worthy and you would be in his hands until he was satisfied. Once in the annex you would have no way of escape and you would have to bear whatever he wrought upon you."

The mention of that huge man and his merciless, cruel hands made me shudder but I was determined that my courage should not fail. Oh how naive we are at eighteen. Fortitude hugged me and told me that she was proud of my courage and determination and would write a note to Father Worthy which would cause him to treat me very severely. Later that week she called me to her office and showed me what she had written about me. I sat before her desk reading her neat handwriting and I don't remember all of the content but various phrases stuck in my mind.

"Prurient mind....unnatural interest in other girls...moral weakness..lax in modesty."

I swallowed hard as I knew that once she had delivered her note the whole ghastly scenario would begin to roll forward and no-one would be able to stop it. We both knew how Father Worthy would react to the note but I needed this; I craved it. I could not look at Sister Fortitude as I passed the note back across her desk and sealed my fate.

That very same week I came out of my final lesson on Friday afternoon and found Fortitude standing in the corridor waiting for me. The other girls went on their way before Fortitude spoke.

"I have come to take you to the annex."

We walked in silence down the stone flagged passageway to the East Wing and then we were in front of that arched oak door and Fortitude told me to pull the little chain which would ring the bell and summon my nemesis. She kissed the top of my head and then we heard the door unlocked and the huge form of Father Worthy stood before us in his black cassock and shiny black shoes. His eyes started at the top of my head and slowly moved down my uniformed body; I could not see his mouth watering but I knew that it was. For some reason my attention fixed on his huge hands which seemed to be the size of dinner plates as he spoke.

"I will take it from here, Sister Fortitude. Come inside child."

I walked forward and he closed the door behind me cutting off all hope of escape. We were now in a sparsely furnished room with oak panels on the walls. Worthy sat on a wooden chair and spoke quietly and menacingly in a monologue which briefly covered my fallen state and the need to come through punishment for my own good. He said that he would help me but I had to place myself in his hands; he finished by telling me to undress.

There were strict rules about undressing in the dorm and changing for gym in a way which reduced the risk of other girls seeing one's body but now I was standing defenceless just three feet in front of a red faced man who would watch my every move. Of course I had undressed for Sister Fortitude and enjoyed her undressing me but that was very different. There was no point in my arguing or resisting; if I did so I knew he would simply hold me down with one hand while the other tore the clothing from me.

I felt a little bit sick as I unbuttoned my cardigan, stripped it off and placed it on the polished table then removed my tie and put that with the cardigan. 

"Your skirt next."

Not wishing to reach behind which would cause my small breasts to jut out I slipped my skirt around so that the zip was at the front and I unfastened it then bent to slide it down and pull it off. My face was burning as I was very aware of now displaying my white school pants as I folded my grey skirt on the table. I bent down to remove my regulation black shoes and bright white socks leaving my bare feet on the dark wood floor. Then I just had to stand facing him as I unbuttoned my blouse exposing my skin and my small white brassier which, of course, was also school issue. I felt my brown shoulder length hair tickling my neck and knew that I had come to the point of having to remove my underwear and expose those parts of my body which I had been taught to keep hidden from everyone. It may sound like a cliché but my lip did really turn inwards as, like a robot, I unclasped my bra, slipped the straps from my arms and felt cold air on my nipples which were tingling and, against my will, beginning to swell. Of course the man would not fail to notice that detail and I was sure that he would take it as further confirmation of my immorality and an excuse to punish me even more.

I placed one arm across my breasts but then realised that this would make removing my knickers very awkward so I put both hands to the sides of my most intimate garment and slid it downwards. As I did so the thought came to me that even this "most intimate" little garment was not intimate to me at all for it was school issue. They even controlled our underwear and at "the time of the month" we had to go to School Stores and request "School Ones" to absorb our issue of blood. Perhaps my mind was deliberately wandering to deflect itself from the horrific situation but I found myself thinking that in this environment which set such store by modesty and privacy we had no privacy at all and the nuns even knew when we menstruated. 

So there I stood with him just three feet in front of me looking like a boy at a sweet shop window. I was standing with my eyes downcast and my feet together. My pathetic little 34A boobs ran straight down to the red nipples and then had a little curve underneath. My tummy was fairly flat and my dark pubic fuzz was a perfect triangle which pointed downwards like an arrow directing attention to the puffy lips between my thighs. I knew the dark fuzz contrasted obscenely with my white skin.

Worthy grabbed my upper arm so that his fingers dug in making me whine and he dragged me out into the passageway. We went along the corridor then he opened a door and led me down cold stone steps into the musty smelling basement which was lit by a few orange bulbs. We went into a room of whitewashed brick. It had a stone floor and I did not really take in much of the room because all my attention fell upon the contraption to which he pulled me at one end of the room. I was shivering from the cold and probably also in fear.

I was facing what looked like a huge wooden cotton reel obviously made of very old wood. It was fixed to a small wooden platform and at each corner the platform had sturdy iron rings with lengths of rope nearby. He backed my unresisting form against the wooden reel and, as I lay back against the curved surface he bound my ankles to the iron rings so that my legs were wide apart. The physical discomfort of this position was exceeded by the feeling of exposure and vulnerability as well as the growing fear as I tried not to think about what he was going to do to me. My tormentor then moved behind me and dragged my arms backwards so that I was lying over the wooden reel with my spine arched backwards and my face staring upside down at the wall behind me. My wrists were tied to the rings at the rear of the platform.

He moved out of my very limited field of vision and there seemed to be a very long time as I waited in terrible tension feeling the wood against my back and buttocks. Then his hands descended onto my belly and he began to explore my naked body. I was still staring at the wall and unable to see what was happening but I could feel his hot, rough hands roving all over my skin. He stroked my stomach, my thighs and my breasts including my very sensitive nipples which he squeezed forcing a yelp from my lips.

Then both his hands began to concentrate on my pubic lips stroking and rubbing with increasing pressure. Of course I could not suppress the little groans deep in my throat nor could I keep my body from writhing under his attentions but the ropes ensured that my writhing was confined to flexing and unflexing my muscles. Actual movement was denied me.

His questing fingers began to dip into my pussy (I learned that word from Fortitude) and I felt myself moisten. My body almost exploded when he found my clitty and began to massage and tease it. I felt that my own body was betraying me as I had no wish to respond to this horrible man but I had no choice. I fought to keep my orgiastic moans inside me but he was skilful at playing with a young girl's body and there was nothing which I could do to control myself. Eventually the scream of defeat and intense unwanted pleasure escaped my lips and echoed around the chamber as I screamed for him to stop but he kept working at me bringing me again and again past the point of no return. My heart was pounding and my breasts were rising and falling at a dangerous rate as my skin shone with my perspiration and I howled and howled throwing my head in all directions with my now sweat soaked hair sticking to my face.

When he stopped it took a while for the storm to subside and then I was lying there panting and feeling very cold due to the moisture covering my skin. Just as I began to slip into some sort of peace I felt a sharp pain between my legs and realised that he had struck me with something. My vision was still limited to the wall behind me so I had no warning when the second stroke landed once again on my labia dragging a howl from me. 

He moved to where I could see him and I saw the riding crop with its brown leather strap wound around his hand and the leather plaited around the wooden shaft. He raised the weapon again and I tried to shy away but my bonds held me so he hit his target which was my left breast. The blows kept coming at random raining down on my breasts, my belly and my pussy. When I was almost insensible he threw away the crop and I felt his now bare legs touching the inside of my thighs then his weight was coming down on my sore belly and his organ was pressing at my intimate opening. I was not a virgin, he had seen to that on my last visit, but I was still quite tight and he forced his way in as the torture chamber echoed to his repeated primeval grunts and my shouts of protest and pain. All I could do was remain there bound backwards over the curved timber as he took me again and again and shot his hot fluid into my innards and over my belly and pubic hair where it congealed as a horrible stinking, sticky stain.

I was dimly aware of his untying my wrists and ankles then he threw me forwards over the barrel and used his hands to spread my legs. My head was now hanging down near to the floor with my hair covering my eyes and I experienced unspeakable horror as I felt pressure against my anus. I had no idea that a man could push his member into that tight aperture and even less idea that any man would wish to do so but I felt his erect member forcing its way in with all his body mass behind it. I felt a deep tearing sensation as he forced entry but the real pain was the psychological one. To be used in that obscene, perverse way while I just had to remain there and take it was the worst humiliation which I had ever endured. When he pulled away from me I slid to the floor and curled up into a shaking, weeping little ball of used up flesh.

But he was not done with me yet. Hands reached down to me and dragged me across the floor to a small cage which squatted on the floor. The bars were black mesh and he laid me on my back on the cold stone. As I looked up at him towering over me I saw that his cassock was now back in place. He reached down to me and I did not realise that he was holding a steel clip until I felt the agonising pain in my left nipple. To readers of bondage magazines nipple clips are routine but I promise you that in reality they are anything but routine. A woman's nipples have a lot of nerve endings and she holds within her breasts the very centre of what makes her feminine so an attack at that point goes right to the heart of her identity as a woman. My hands automatically came up to remove the clip but he easily swept them aside and knelt on my arms as he fitted the second nerve shredding clip to my other nipple.

I could not stop screaming as he held my left wrist against my right ankle and began to bind them together then my left ankle was tightly tied to the right wrist. He pushed me backwards into the cage which was about a three foot cube although my feet still rested outside the cage.

He took from his pocket a slim silver chain with hooks on the ends and, to my horror, clipped one end to my left nipple clip and the other end to the rope around my ankle. This pulled on my nipple and I bent forward to ease the pressure. As I did so he clipped a similar chain between my right nip and my ankle then he forced my legs backwards into the cage so that my knees were under my chin and he clanged the door shut securing it with a padlock.

I was so immersed in my predicament that I did not actually see him leave the room. By bending forward I could prevent the chains from tugging on my tender nipples but that caused sharp pains to run up my back. My other option was to raise my feet off the floor and pull them up towards my chest as I rocked back on my bottom but that position strained the muscles at the back of my knees. In the hours which followed I would switch many times between these three positions but every position had one thing in common with the others and that was that it left me in agonising pain. Of course all the pain being heaped upon the outside of my body was only the melody of my suffering which overlay the deep theme of internal pain from Worthy's assaults upon my private openings.

I moaned, grunted and wept as cramp added yet another pain to the catalogue and all the while I remained there caged like an animal with neither food nor water. My tortured nipples would sometimes go numb but then when I moved I would scream as movement caused the pain to flood back. At some point urine flowed from me and collected on the cage floor beneath me.

And all this while I thought of Fortitude. I thought of the pride in her eyes as she welcomed me back from my trials and of her loving hands as she soothed my abused flesh. My beloved Fortitude did indeed give me the fortitude to endure my punishment and to soak up my pain.

Of course I had no sense at all of time but I know that at some point a black gown swept into view outside my tiny and cramped prison. The black shoes beneath the gown were of feminine design and my jaded mind reached the conclusion that Sister Penitence had come to play her part in my ordeal. She bent, fiddled with the padlock and swung open the door. My feet moved forward out of the cage painfully dragging upon my nipples and sending new waves of agony through my body. Her hands came into the cage and, with no attempt at gentleness, she removed my clamps then she moved away.

The next thing that I knew was of a powerful stream of freezing water directed at me instantly soaking my body and washing throughout the cage. The jet kept coming and pounding into my face and my aching and sore body then suddenly it ceased and I was left dripping and shivering but still tightly bound.

The large, hag-faced nun crouched down and cut the ropes from me then she pulled me from the cage and dragged me to my feet but, as soon as she released me I stumbled and she had to support me again. This did not please her and her hand slapped both sides of my face knocking my head from side to side as she barked at me to stand up. I put my hand on top of the cage and managed to stay there with water dripping from me and my hair straggling over my face. Again Penitence slapped my face and my breasts and used my hair to drag me upright so that I felt the hair would be dragged from my scalp but this time I managed, by sheer willpower, to stand. She threw a large towel at me and ordered me to dry myself which I did with her unfeeling eyes watching every move. She managed to convey the message that I was an object of disgust and that she wanted to touch me as little as possible to avoid contamination.

I was not permitted sufficient time to dry myself completely especially as so many areas of my body felt too tender to touch but, when Penitence decided that I was dry enough, she ordered me to follow her into the passage. I dragged myself along the corridor and up the stone steps in her wake and we came to the panelled room where I had denuded myself for Father Worthy.

Penitence handed me a morning after pill which she ordered me to swallow and then she pointed towards a pile of clothing on the table. I went to the table and leaned upon it for support but I found that the clothing was not the same as that which I had shed. There was a white blouse like my own but there was also a short pleated plaid skirt, a pair of white ankle socks, a plain white vest as may be worn by a boy and a pair of maroon gym knickers. This was the regulation uniform of the junior school and I looked at Penitence in confusion. Her explanation was terrifying.




Punished at St Sade's Ch. 02



"You are to be sent to the junior part of the school. You will use their dorm; you will eat with them, have lessons with them including gym and you will use their playground. You have proved that you are a silly immature girl so you will be treated as a ten year old until you can show that you are fit to return to the senior wing."

My mouth fell open and I almost lost my grip on the table which was keeping me from falling to the floor. This was an appalling humiliation and I would have to endure it all day every day. The juniors did gym in just vest and knickers. My friends in the sixth form would see me in my junior uniform surrounded by little girls and the little girls would titter at the big girl who had been sent down eight years.

I knew that there was nothing I could do to resist my penance so I miserably picked up the awful maroon pants. They had picked out the largest sized clothes which they could but nothing was going to be comfortable for an eighteen year old. The knickers were faded and washed out so they had been worn by someone else and being worn meant that the elastic was stretched so I could at least pull them up although they did not quite reach up to my waist. My bottom and the soft area underneath felt squashed.

Next it was the horrible plain white vest which crushed my breasts flat with the resultant discomfort. I knelt down and pulled on my ankle socks then stood and put on my blouse. It felt very odd not to have a bra; as you know I am not full figured but with the tight vest holding me in I looked almost flat chested. Then it was the pleated skirt which was embarrassingly short and meant that the slightest movement would show my knickers. Between the short socks and the short skirt I appeared to have a vast amount of bare white leg on show which I knew would have all the male staff leering at me while pretending to be so proper and holy.

Once attired in my outfit which I knew had been calculated to make everyone laugh at me I turned to face Sister Penitence. Her face remained hard and expressionless and she gripped my upper arm just as tightly as Worthy had done when I arrived then she marched me through the annex door back into the school for my walk to the junior wing. My face was still sore from the slapping which she had given me but now it also burned with embarrassment as we walked past girls who had been in my class or the classes immediately below. I saw hands go to mouths and I heard their whispering and giggling. Some of them almost bent double due to laughing so much.

I had been prepared to endure pain in the annex but I could not have reckoned on being subjected to such intense, prolonged and public humiliation. Once again St Sade's had proved itself able to devise a punishment worse than I could have imagined.



Punished at St Sade's Ch. 03



Chapter Three

Fallen Sister

At 25 Sister Fortitude was not much older than the 18 year old girls at St Sade's whom she took for Gym lessons. When she was really honest with herself she had to admit to a tingle whenever she happened to go into the changing room and find herself surrounded by fresh young 18 year old girls wriggling out of wet swimming costumes or running, with pert breasts jiggling, into the showers to wash off the mud so that their glistening white bodies came into view.

Fortitude definitely did not "prey" on her girls but every so often one would appeal to her in a very special way. One such was dear Tara and their secret meetings at which they revelled in each other's warm bodies were well worth the incredible risks involved. Fortitude had been deeply upset when the harsh regime at St Sade's had swept sweet Tara back into the junior wing of the school. Father Worthy, who oversaw discipline, had detected a character flaw in Tara and decreed that she should spend an indefinite time in a class of ten year olds where she would wear horrible maroon knickers and her sweet breasts would be imprisoned in a plain white vest. Being treated as a little girl instead of the young woman which she was would be a burning humiliation for poor Tara which was the whole point of the punishment.

Although Fortitude would miss Tara greatly she was extremely relieved that her own relationship with the girl had remained hidden. The penalty which would descend upon Fortitude if the secret had come out did not bear contemplation.

It was exactly one week after Tara's demotion when, after breakfast, Reverend Mother said that she would like to see Fortitude in her study at 6pm. The order was not given with any venom and could have arisen from any one of several quite routine reasons so Fortitude was not at all worried. If she had known what awaited her she may well have run out of the gates and never returned.

That evening Fortitude knocked and was bidden to enter. Reverend Mother was seated behind her huge desk and the only chair was occupied by a thickset woman with a short masculine hairstyle. She wore a severe black business suit and a crisp white blouse buttoned right to the throat. Reverend Mother did not waste any time in pleasantries as she introduced the visitor.

"This is Sister Stringent who is our new games mistress and senior year head."

Fortitude's mouth fell open.

"But I'm the..."

Feeling awkward she stopped and Reverend Mother continued in a voice which sounded like Doom.

"It would have been better for you to have confessed your indecency with Tara and all those who went before her but now your past sins have caught up with you, child. Your immoral lover has been demoted thus leaving a gap in the Sixth Form. That gap will be filled by yourself."

Fortitude was not sure that she was hearing correctly. Were they really going to make her one of the girls? As Gym Mistress it had been her role to berate girls for laziness and to oblige them to run the cross country course in the rain to toughen them up. She remembered how, in the gymnasium, she had made the girls stretch backwards so that every detail of their puffy labia pressed against their tight shorts as if they were naked to her eyes. Girls can be far crueller than boys and there would be many scores to be settled.

Fortitude begged for another punishment and she pleaded that what was being proposed was far too harsh for her to endure. Reverend Mother was angered by her whimpering and replied with some force.

"This is not a proposal. It is your just punishment. For as long as you are permitted to remain with us you will no longer be called Sister Fortitude. Your name will be Sister Fallen and you will remain with us until we decide otherwise. Your vows bind you to us as does the fact that you have no money and nowhere else to go. If you did leave us your crimes against the girls in your care would be made known to the authorities.

"As Sister Fallen you will sleep in Dorcas Dormitory."

This last news almost made Fortitude fall to her knees. The Dorm Captain in Dorcas was a lazy and overweight girl called Tamsin with whom Fortitude had been very strict. Tamsin was the worst kind of bully who could inflict bitter pain and humiliation and then smile and appear the perfect angel. Her father was incredibly wealthy and had donated many thousands of pounds to school funds so Tamsin could do no wrong. Fortitude had done some research on Tamsin's father and found that he was a pornographer and owner of several "Clubs" which were in fact brothels and he also owned a company which manufactured shackles and all kinds of restraints and bondage equipment. Despite all this, he was described at St Sade's as a successful businessman. Such is the power of wealth.

To be in Tamsin's power was a terrible fate and yet, to her intense embarrassment, Fallen found that the tiny muscles between her legs were tensing and she was actually moistening. She had always known that her character included a shameful kink which seemed to crave punishment and this had been fed by her visits to Father Worthy during her years at St Sade's. Fallen had never been touched by a man in a consensual way but it was in the annex where Father Worthy dealt out correction that she had lost her maidenly virtue.

Reverend Mother had now stood up and extended a hand towards the terrifying form of Sister Stringent.

"Sister Stringent will now prepare you for your new, lowered status."

When Stringent stood up Fallen could see that she was tall and thickset like a Russian shot putter. She stood immediately in front of her victim and gave a curt command.

"Get your hands on your head."

It was impossible to disobey and Stringent's hands went straight to the waistband of the smaller woman's tracksuit. Without the slightest pause she stripped the garment down to the ground exposing Fallen's slightly damp and very brief lilac cotton briefs. Sister Fallen was horribly aware of Reverend Mother watching the whole process and condemning her for such immodest underwear.

Stringent gripped the bottom of the tracksuit top and pulled upwards so that Fallen was forced to raise her arms over her head for the garment to be dragged off as if the large nun were undressing a small child for bed. Now Fallen's little bra was on show with the curve of her breasts very much in evidence. The bra was the next thing to come off and Fallen felt the cold air on her nipples making them stand to attention as if yearning for Tara's sweet touch.

Next the briefs were dragged down and off and then there was that awkward dancing on one leg as trainers and socks were shed and briefs and trousers were disentangled from Fallen's feet.

The recently deposed Gym Mistress felt horribly vulnerable and ashamed to be standing naked under the disapproving glare of the two other women. Stringent turned to a small pile of clothing which was folded atop a low cabinet and ordered Fallen to get dressed.

It was not the same uniform as worn by the girls. It seemed that a special uniform had been assembled for Fallen to make her stand out. There were five identical pairs of grey gym knickers, seven pairs of grey kneesocks, three grey blouses, one pair of black gym shoes and one grey gymslip. The two ugly, functional sports brassieres were also grey and too small so that Fallen felt she was being squeezed when she put one on.

Sister Fallen was nearly in tears as she dressed and found that the knickers were one size too small so they pinched at the legs, did not pull all the way up and squeezed uncomfortably underneath. She was horrified at the shortness of the gymslip which showed an indecent amount of white thigh and would make it very difficult to avoid showing her pants like a stupid, careless little girl.

No sooner was Fallen dressed than Reverend Mother said she had just ten minutes to take her spare clothing to her locker in Dorcas Dorm and then get to evening chapel. She fled from the room with her little pile of spare clothing over one arm. Her hair had fallen over her face and her cheeks were wet with tears. She knew that she was scarlet as she could feel her cheeks burning. Mercifully all the girls were in Prep so she made it to the dorm meeting no-one apart from two women teachers who, just an hour ago, had been her equals on the staff. They did not speak to her but the expressions on their faces conveyed their disgust for her.

It was the work of a moment to put her clothing into the small locker beside the narrow bed and then dash downstairs to join the girls who were making their way into chapel. Again no-one spoke but hands were put to faces and there was much giggling, staring and whispering.

Fallen squeezed into the end of a pew and the girl next to her opened her mouth in disbelief when she recognised her then turned to the girl on her other side and began furious whispering. It was a normal evening service and Fallen was glad that talking during chapel was forbidden. When the service ended Reverend Mother came to the front of the chapel and said that she had a regrettable announcement to make. She then commanded Sister Fallen to come forward.

Fallen felt like a terrified child as she made her way to the front and was made to stand facing her former pupils as Reverend Mother recited her crimes. Each word was like a slap and Sister Fallen kept her eyes firmly on the floor as she felt herself shrinking smaller and smaller.

Reverend Mother explained about the change of name and then the former gym teacher became aware that the pedagogue had taken a large cardboard sign from a seat behind her. A girl from the front row was invited to come forward and, on behalf of the whole school, to hang the sign over Fallen's head by the loop of string attached.

To her horror, Sister Fallen saw that the sign was written in large black letters and she heard Reverend Mother say that it was to be worn every day as part of Fallen's grey punishment uniform. As a deeper humiliation Reverend Mother ordered Fallen to read the sign aloud and then she made her read it again as the first time her voice was not sufficiently loud.

"I am a disgusting pervert who shamefully abused my position of trust." 

After chapel the girls had a free hour before bed. This time was normally spent in the common room reading or playing board games but Reverend Mother ended her diatribe against Fallen by saying the Dorcas dorm may go to their dorm early to give them time to get to know their new girl.

Fallen could not believe that Mother could be so stupidly naive or so horribly sadistic. Surely it must be obvious to her how Tamsin would spend a whole hour "getting to know" the gym mistress who had given her so many detentions.

Fallen could not have been more miserable or scared as she went up to the dorm surrounded by her new dorm mates who all took the opportunity to slyly poke her or pinch her on the way. When they arrived in the dorm and Tamsin very carefully closed the door Fallen was already bruised with the spittle of several girls running down her face and hair.

A ring of girls formed around Tamsin and Fallen and Tamsin was wearing a horrible grin.

"Well Sister Fallen what are we going to do with you? We shall have to be very careful now that we have a pervert in the dorm won't we."

"Look Tamsin, I....."

Tamsin barked at her to shut up and get down on her knees. Fallen hesitated and then, knowing she was beaten, slowly obeyed. Tamsin continued to speak in her awful, slightly lisping voice.

"Reverend Mother will believe whatever I tell her and I can get her to do whatever I want or Daddy will stop giving money to the school. If you once disobey me I will have you going around the school all day stark naked with men teachers leering at you or perhaps I could get Mother to put you on a lead so I could lead you around on hands and knees. You could kneel under my desk and lick me out in lessons. Would you like that Bitch?"

Despite the tears welling up in her eyes and the bile in her throat Fallen had to bite back the reply "Yes please Miss". Now that she was here totally under the control of this vicious schoolgirl Fallen was tapping reserves of shame and submission which she had kept down for most of her life. She did not understand why this situation was making her soooo desperately tingly in her most private places but she knew that she wanted everything Tamsin could dream up.

Tamsin ordered Fallen to stay on her knees and strip so that the dorm could see exactly what they were dealing with. Of course the horrible, humiliating sign had to remain around her neck. Fallen denuded herself to the tune of raucous laughter filling the room as everyone saw that her underwear matched her grey punishment uniform. The underwear was soon on the floor and about twenty girls were staring at their ex teacher's naked pussy and breasts and making horrible, demeaning comments.

Tamsin and another girl slowly took Fallen's arms and moved her onto her back on her bed where she instinctively hunched up with her legs together. Tamsin stood back grinning evilly.

"Don't be shy Miss. Get your legs open and show us your pussy."

Fallen knew that there was no point in arguing so she slowly obeyed but her nerve almost failed her in obeying the next command.

"Let's see you amuse yourself. Get your hand down there and show us how wet you can make it, show us how to do it properly."

Utterly defeated, Fallen moved her hand between her legs and began to stroke her pussylips. Almost of its own accord, her hand began to grind more firmly and then her fingertips were touching her tiny hot button. Ever since that horrible evening service in chapel Fallen had been becoming more and more tense and since Tamsin began to dominate her the dark need in her mind had been growing in its intensity.

Soon her head was back and she had two hands, moist with her juices, sliding in and out of her slit. Her knees were bent and her feet were digging into the mattress as she gasped and moaned much to the delight of her audience. She knew that her climax was not far away and when it came it caused cheers to run around the group of girls who were enjoying the show. Despite the massive erotic charge running through Fallen's body it was bitterly shaming to be forced to so demean herself for the entertainment of this hunting pack. Her rational mind was almost out of action and Fallen would have found it impossible to say whether she loathed this treatment or craved even more of it. 

"Go on Tammy, show her your special weapon."

This cry was taken up by several of the girls and Tamsin went to her locker returning with an implement which made Fallen genuinely scared. It was a wooden phallus complete with a huge carved ball sac at one end. The weapon was slightly curved upwards with a bulbous tip and its length and girth were surely much larger than would be possible in the genuine article.

Fallen found the phallus pushed into her hands and she lowered it towards her opening then pressed it to her warm flesh. The item was perfectly smooth and felt wonderfully sensuous in her slippery hands as she eased it inwards feeling it stretching her. She groaned as she pressed the intruder home but she knew that she would not stop. There was a delicious ache as the hard wood filled all the available space pressing against the straining walls and then she was working it in and out and revelling in the cheers of the girls. If they wanted a show she would give them a show the like of which they had never seen before.

Sometime after her brain ceased keeping accurate records Fallen was laying on her back with her legs splayed and the wooden weapon lying on the bed between them. She was sighing deeply as her mind floated on a sea of endorphins but she was dimly aware of the sweat slicking her entire body and the dull ache which seemed to fill her whole lower body. The message was running around the dorm that it was not long till lights out and someone raised the concern that the new girl was so sexed up that she might rape them all as they slept. This was taken up by other voices and someone suggested that they ought to restrain her to ensure their safety.

Fallen only offered token resistance as a dressing gown cord was fetched and girlish hands raised her to a sitting position to that they could work behind her securing her wrists. Most of these girls had learned knots in Guides so they knew how to ensure that knots did not come undone and they were very thorough in winding the cord around both wrists and then twisting it in between the wrists knotting it at every stage. They did have the decency to throw a blanket over their victim and then she was lying there helpless and naked as, all around her, nubile girls stripped off their clothing and paraded in front of her taunting her.

"Did Tara do this for you? I bet you'd like to get your hands on this.....do you like my pussy?....Did Tara have a nice bum like mine?...Could she wobble her boobs like this?"

Eventually they were all in bed and the lights went out. Fallen lay there, trying to wriggle into the most comfortable position which she could find. It was maddening that she could not get her fingers anywhere near to her pussy or her nips but eventually she slept.

As Fallen had done everything which Tamsin demanded, what happened the next morning was bitterly unfair but people like Tamsin do not need to be fair. The housemaster in charge of Dorcas dorm was Father Gentle, a small, mild mannered man. His timing was unerring in that he always managed to make his morning rounds at exactly the time when the maximum number of girls were running around in their underwear or just pulling on their bra. When Father Gentle arrived that morning he was met by a chorus of girls.

"Sir, Sister Fallen was doing things to herself last night."

"She was making really loud noises Sir. We thought she was ill."

"We didn't want to tell but it's for her own good isn't it Sir?"

"The bed was going up and down and everything Sir."

With each word poor Fallen felt smaller and smaller. When she had been a colleague of Father Gentle they had got on really well and it was unspeakable to have her masturbatory practices paraded before him like this. St Sade's treated "self abuse" very seriously and Fallen knew that Father Gentle would have to respond to the complaints which he was hearing. He just said that he would take steps that night before bed to ensure that the offence was not repeated and to make clear to Fallen that such disgraceful behaviour was unacceptable. So Fallen would have to spend the whole day wondering what punishment awaited her that night.

The girls made their way down to breakfast and, while they were eating, Sister Stringent came to their table and said that Sister Fallen had to report to Mr Grunge the caretaker and grounds man after breakfast. She was to assist him all morning and then join the girls for Gym after lunch.

Grunge was a tall man who was universally known to be "creepy". He could not look at a girl without making it very clear that he was mentally undressing her and all the girls avoided him. A morning with Grunge was the last thing which Fallen wanted but she made her way to the tiny room which was his sanctum. The room contained his steel bucket and mop and it smelt of bleach. One wall was taken up by metal shelving containing bottles of cleaning fluid of various types.

When she arrived the delight on Grunge's face was all too clear. She had been placed under his command for the morning and he was going to enjoy himself. He spoke in his broad rural accent.

"Reverend Mother says you're to take off your dress and blouse so's not to get 'em dirty."

There was no point in arguing. The room was small so Grunge was about three feet in front of her as she shed her gymslip and grey blouse exposing her horrible bra and grey gym knickers. The knickers were so tight that she was sure she was displaying every detail of her pussylips clearly outlined against the cloth as if she were nude. Grunge could not help revelling in his sense of power.




Punished at St Sade's Ch. 03



"Not so haughty now are we Miss?"

"No Mr Grunge."

Her morning mission was to polish all the ground floor corridor floors so she set out with her bucket and polishing cloth to the far end of the school intending to work from one end of the building to the other. Of course she was on her knees the whole time and she found the corridors to be very busy. There always seemed to be girls being sent on errands from one class to another or teachers hurrying about or members of the admin staff going about their business. No-one spoke to her but people would whisper to each other as they went past and she felt male eyes on her buttocks as well as on the puffy swelling of her pussy which was in the air as she bent to her work with her face scarlet and her hair falling into her eyes.

The worst time was when the bell sounded for change of lessons when the corridors would fill with girls rushing between classes. One girl, the horrible Shirley Quick, deliberately kicked over the bucket of soapy water causing a great outbreak of giggling among her followers. As Fallen knelt in the puddle of water with soap suds on her face and her bra soaking where she had been splashed, Shirley put on her most polite voice.

"I am so sorry I got you all wet Miss Pervert."

After lunch Fallen joined the girls filing into the changing room where Stringent was waiting for them. She announced that they would be going on a cross country run which was not a popular idea at all as it had recently rained and the course would be very muddy. Stringent then turned to Fallen and her words made it clear that she intended to stamp her authority very firmly upon her predecessor.

"As Sister Fallen has the advantage of training and has been keeping fit in exercise of various types (pause for giggles of embarrassment) it seems only fair for her to be handicapped in the run. Sister Fallen will be naked for the run."

A gasp went around the room and Fallen's mouth fell open in silent horror. All she could do was to denude herself and then wait for the other girls to get into vests and gym skirts. The whole school would have been able to look out of classroom windows and see a pack of girls jogging out into the woodland with one very pink girl in their midst.

Fallen was horribly aware of her bouncing breasts and of her bare feet squelching in the mud. The other girls in their gym shoes had much better grip as they ran but Fallen was having difficulty in keeping from sliding around and her legs soon became much muddier than any of the others. She felt really vulnerable with the cool air blowing her pubic bush and the girls behind her watching her quite ample buttocks jiggle as she ran.

They rounded a corner in the track which they were following and saw the course wend its way out into the rough country but Julie, the girl at the front of the pack, stopped running.

"Are we going to take the short cut?"

Beside the track ran the wooden fence to the orchard. If they hopped over the fence and then crossed the orchard they could rejoin the track about half a mile before it went back to the school buildings. By common consent all the girls climbed over the fence and Fallen went with them quite enjoying the feeling of, for once, being one of the group.

Running on the grass of the orchard was much easier than the muddy lane where they had been but suddenly the leading girls stopped and turned back causing them to collide with the girls behind. The reason was obvious; Grunge's Land Rover was parked a little way ahead and no girl dressed in a short games skirt wanted to meet Grunge. What he would do if he encountered a completely naked runner did not bear thinking about.

There was a hurried conversation and it was decided that Fallen would have to hide in the drainage ditch and wait for Grunge to drive away. If the whole pack stopped he would be bound to come and investigate what they were doing so it seemed safest for the pack to run on and rely on safety in numbers to keep them safe from his lecherous clutches. Fallen would be able to follow the pack as soon as Grunge was out of the way. As they had taken the short cut she would still have plenty of time to get back to school in the allotted time.

Fallen was actually grateful as the girls helped her down into the ditch full of freezing, muddy water and made sure that she could not be seen then they ran on and she was alone desperately hoping to hear the sound of the Land Rover starting up and driving away.

If Grunge had been wearing his normal Wellingtons Fallen would have heard his approach but, as it was, the first she knew of his presence was when a pair of worn old shoes appeared on the lip of the ditch in which she was cowering. She looked up as he towered above her and literally looked down his nose at her. There was nowhere to run; she had been caught.

"Cheating on a run are we Miss? I wonder what Sister Stringent would do to a girl who cheated in her first lesson."

Fallen thought of Stringent's powerful arms and knew that she would be able to swing a cane more viciously than most men and that any caning would certainly not be carried out in private. She thought of herself bruised and sobbing, probably naked, in front of the entire school. The helpless girl meekly came up out of the ditch in response to Grunge's command and stood with one arm over her breasts and the other going down to cover her bush as the water dripped from her shivering body. It occurred to her to wonder if the whole situation had been contrived -- the short cut, Grunge just happening to be waiting for her, the other girls running on.

Grunge's huge rough hand gripped her left breast making her wince and he pushed her backwards so that her back was against an apple tree. Now, still mauling her soft breast, he allowed his other hand to stroke her pussy furr. Fallen swallowed but she was aware of having very mixed emotions. She was frightened of what Grunge was about to do to her but somehow her fear and total powerlessness were having an unwanted effect on her. She did not want to enjoy this and it was horrible to think of doing so and yet there was a definite tingling deep in her lower belly.

Grunge was working on her right breast now and the hand between her legs had found her pussylips which it was groping with no pretence of gentleness or technique. He was being very rough with her delicate parts and causing her to writhe against the rough trunk of the tree. She could not help gasping and pleading for him to stop but that only encouraged him and he began to ram his fingers inside her. He had taken his hand from her breast now and was using it to unzip himself and take out his erect manhood.

There was no more foreplay. As soon as the obscene phallus was free he pressed his sweaty body to hers and rammed into her then, with much swearing and grunting, he was withdrawing and ramming again. Fallen could not keep silent but she was desperately trying to keep her cries muted so that they did not reach the school.

Grunge was completely oblivious to the fact that he was hurting her quite badly as his manhood filled her channel and thrust up towards her vital organs. When he was sated and had shot his hot semen into her he withdrew with semen covering her pussy hair. Fallen slumped to a sitting position on the wet grass and her back scraped against the tree on the way down. Her legs were wide apart displaying her red, violated intimate parts. Her nose was running and she hated herself for the fact that there were tears running down her cheeks.

But Grunge was not yet finished. He entwined one hand in her hair dragging her forward to her knees and steered her face to his groin. He issued a guttural command which was almost unintelligible but the gist of it was all too clear as he guided her mouth to his now semi erect organ. She had no choice but to take him in her mouth and he shouted at her to put some effort into it. His hand in her hair was forcing her head back and forth and each forward stroke made the intruder touch the back of her throat making her choke. Her lips were locked onto the shaft which tasted of salt and other things which she did not like to think about.

He had sprung to full erection now and his semen filled her mouth and ran down her chin. With a cry of triumph he threw her backwards onto the ground and stood over her as he zipped himself up.

"I reckon I should do Reverend Mother a favour and give you the thrashing you deserves."

Fallen had taken enough punishment and she vigorously shook her head although she was, at present unable to speak.

Once again his hand was in her hair and he sat himself on a thick tree root pulling his victim over his knees so that her face was down in the long grass. When the first slap landed it made her whole body shake and a scream leapt from her mouth.

He spanked her furiously while keeping one hand pressed down on the back of her neck. Fallen could not keep from struggling and incoherently pleading with him to stop. It went on and on long after the point when her entire bottom was sore and bruised. When he eventually finished spanking he rammed his fingers between her legs and into her slit. He worked at her until her bottom was bucking uncontrollably and her screams of pain had become the wild cries of unwanted orgasm.

Then she found herself flung onto her back where she curled up trying to shut out the sound of his raucous laughter as he walked back to his Land Rover and drove off. She did not know how long she lay there but in the end it was the cold which made her pull herself painfully to her feet and walk back to school.

By now the runners had showered and changed back into their school uniform and half a dozen girls, including Tamsin, were standing on the steps to cheer her home. She had not taken the time to wash the dried semen from her face and hair and she knew that there was no disguising what she had been doing. Stringent must have been standing just inside the door because she emerged when Fallen was about to enter the building.

"We will not have such dirt in the school. You wash there."

Fallen looked to where the teacher was pointing and miserably noted the horse trough full of rainwater. Much to the mirth of the watching girls, Fallen had to climb into the cold water and Stringent stood over her repeatedly forcing her head under the water so that she bounced up choking and with strings of mucous hanging from her nostrils. 

After her washing in the horse trough Fallen was allowed to drip her way to the changing rooms for a shower and then to put on her grey punishment uniform complete with its humiliating cardboard sign. For the rest of the day groups of giggling girls would steal surreptitious glances at Fallen as they whispered among themselves.

"Howled like a bitch."

"Grunge gave her a proper seeing to".

"Serve her right."

"She obviously enjoyed it."

Fallen spent the time in a perpetual blush.

At bedtime all the girls were in a rush to get into their nightclothes before Father Gentle came in to carry out the punishment for Fallen's reported masturbation of the previous night. By now Fallen had drawn a long, white school nightdress from the school stores. When Gentle came into the dorm Fallen's worst fears were confirmed as she saw the heavy white canvas and broad leather straps hanging over his arm. The jacket was an accepted method of discouraging nocturnal self groping but was only used for the most persistent cases. Those girls who were not already in bed quickly got into bed as Gentle walked up to Fallen.

"Now you must realise um, Sister, that we have to do this for your own good. If we can make it impossible for you to, um, abuse yourself you will find the urges will decrease. The canvas will make you quite hot at night so I think we'd better have the um, the nightie off now. Nice and quick now."

This was going to be very embarrassing. Only last week Fallen had sat in the staff room drinking coffee with Father Gentle as an equal and now he was going to be allowed an unrestricted view of her naked body but there was nothing she could do. Not looking at him, she dragged the white gown over her head and put it on her bed. She kept her arms across the front of her body but, of course, she had to move them when he held up the strait jacket for her. She pushed her arms into the broad sleeves and Father Gentle went behind her leaving the straps at the front of the garment dangling between her legs.

Then Father Gentle dragged on the straps attached to the ends of the arms and her arms were painfully pulled across her breasts and around behind her back. He used all his strength to pull the straps to the tightest notch possible and Fallen felt the strain on her shoulders and realised that she was now completely helpless. Still behind her, Gentle reached for the straps between her legs and dragged them backwards and upwards to connect them to the buckles attached to the back of her collar. Now she had a wide canvas gusset flattening everything between her legs and her whole body was encased in canvas with just her legs and behind bare.

"Lay on the floor please now."

So he was going to make her spend the night on the dorm floor as an example to all the other girls. Lowering herself to the floorboards without the use of her arms was awkward but soon she was lying on her back and Father Gentle bent down to her holding a broad strip of canvas with straps at each end. He wound the canvas tightly around her ankles and lower calves and buckled it as tightly as he could but there was one more humiliating restraint to be applied.

This was a wide canvas gag which went around her mouth so that it pushed between her teeth and buckled at the back of her head.

"We don't want you disturbing the other girls do we Fallen?"

He stood over her giving a brief lecture to Fallen and to the whole dorm about self abuse and then he was gone. Of course all the girls left their beds and formed a ring looking down at their former gym mistress. Some of then stepped over her and then they began to strip off their nightdresses and parade their naked bodies over and around her.

"I bet you'd like to get your hands on this like you did with Tara. How does it feel to have it so close but out of reach Miss?"

There was much laughter as girls displayed their pussies and jiggled various sized breasts at the helpless young woman then Tamsin announced that she had an idea. She organised for two girls to roll Fallen onto her belly and then she stood before her and very slowly removed her own nightdress. Next Tamsin removed Fallen's gag. Tamsin took a pillow from Fallen's bed and placed it on the floor near Fallen's head then she very carefully sat down on the pillow and spread her legs. Fallen's entire field of vision was filled by Tamsin's thick pubic hair with white flesh and the black slit running down the centre. Tamsin used her fingers to pull her cunny open.

"Come on now, let's see you move forward like a little white maggot."

The strait jacket at the back only came down to just above Fallen's buttocks with the strap separating the cheeks. The bare buttocks were an inviting target and Fallen knew that to disobey Tammy would bring painful retribution so she inched forward until her nose was almost between Tamsin's labia.

Tammy began to rock back and forth and she ordered Fallen to go to work with her tongue. When Fallen had been with Tara what they had done had been an expression of affection and shared enjoyment but this was plain sexual slavery. Fallen forced herself to lick Tamsin's smooth skin where it was bald with the hair around the perimeter but still wisps of hair found their way into her mouth. Sometimes Tamsin would pull backwards so Fallen was left straining forward with her tongue waggling against empty air much to the mirth of the audience.

At other times Tamsin moved forward and ordered her slave to get her tongue right inside or to pay attention to her lovebud.

"If you can make me cum I will let someone else have a turn."

All the while Fallen's tender breasts were pressing into her arms and the weight of her body was restricting the blood flow to her arms. Sweat was building up between her legs and all the pressure down on her own pubis was just like masturbation so her own breath was becoming unsteady and she was soon soaking inside the cruel restraint.

No-one in the dorm wanted to be left out so there was not a single girl who did not feel Fallen's tongue at her cunt. The girls soon got the idea of working in pairs with one girl being tongued and the other slapping Fallen's exposed bottom to inspire her to work harder. They used a cold, wet flannel to keep her buttocks wet as a spanking on a wet behind is much sharper.

The girls were taking turns so that when a girl had climaxed she returned to her bed to rest or to continue the fun with her own fingers but Fallen just had to move on to the next girl so her efforts were ceaseless and she lost track of where one orgasm ended and the next began.

It was horrible to have the whole dorm witnessing her orgasms as she lost all hope of dignity and her cries for mercy and rest became mingled with her involuntary cries of pleasure. 

Fallen had no idea of how long her humiliation continued but eventually the dorm needed to sleep so the gag was once more buckled in place and she was left on her belly with her sweat slicked body stinking of girl juice. It took the sexual charge a long time to subside especially with the continued pressure of the strap between her legs and all she could do was rock her body back and forth like a see saw on the fulcrum of her pubic mound.

As she drifted into an endorphin drugged sleep there were two thoughts in her mind. One was the suspicion that Father Gentle had heard the uproar in the dorm. Had he come to stand outside the door and relished hearing every single gasp, cry and moan? How would she face him tomorrow when he came to release her?

The other thought centred around something which Tamsin had said. She had joked with her cronies about her dad finding a job for Fallen in his business. Tamsin's father certainly had enough influence with Reverend Mother to make such a thing possible. Fallen imagined being "auditioned" by one of the man's club managers. She imagined the coarse male fingers testing the firmness of her breasts and then to what job might she be put? Would she be a stripper disrobing for the pleasure of a roomful of drunken, lustful men or would she work in one of the upstairs rooms? Would she go from being a nun to spending her whole day being used by one man after another? Such a thing would be truly horrible and yet......

The only thing which could be said about her future was that it was very uncertain.



Punished at St Sade's



When the formal lesson began Fortitude had the whole group doing PT exercises such as star jumps and sit ups then we moved on to mat work and vaulting over the box. She kept us working at full speed and, whenever I went over the horse, she made sure she was on hand to grab my bare body and give me an extra push as I grunted into my steel gag and was very aware of how damp I was down there. In fact, to my horror, I knew that little droplets of moisture were forming between my legs for all to see.

In short it was nothing more than ninety minutes of pure torture mixed with sexual overtones between Fortitude and myself of which I am fairly sure the other girls were totally unaware. Twice I lay on the floor panting and feeling I could not move a muscle and she stood over me blowing her whistle and berating me until I stood up to face even more mistreatment.

When the bell rang for Lunch the other girls went to change and Fortitude ordered me to go to the refectory to report to Reverend Mother. I was not happy about this at all but what could I do but obey?

As soon as I entered the refectory Reverend Mother grabbed my forearm in a painful grip which caused my face inside its little cage to crease up. With the few girls who were at lunch early watching she dragged me to a place behind the top table where a heating pipe ran down the wall and she threaded a length of string around the pipe and around the front of the bridle so that my head was tied to the pipe. Then she left me so that I was obliged to stand there displaying my naked bottom to the whole room with my face up against the wall.

I stood there for the whole of lunch and I am ashamed to say that I could not keep my hands from going to the soft tender area between my legs. I told myself that, as my back was to the room, no-one could see what I was doing between my body and the wall but now I realise that I was fooling myself. I was hopping from foot to foot and my breathing was irregular and forced and accompanied by little moans and gasps as my questing fingers rubbed with increasing vigour and became wet with my juices. And I was doing all of this a few feet from the staff dining table with the whole school watching me. My mind was so flooded by treacherous endorphins that it had no control and I was unable to think about what I was doing but now it seems that my morning of bitter humiliation had somehow triggered something deep within me and all my sexual responses, so long suppressed, had now exploded.

Lunch finished and the school filed out into the playground to spend the remainder of the lunch hour in socialising leaving me still tied to my pipe with my mouth dry and my stomach rumbling. Sister Fortitude came to me and, without warning, her hand landed in a stinging slap across my left buttock making me yelp. Two more stingers landed causing me to hop vigorously from foot to foot then she put her head very close to the ironwork around my head and whispered so that no-one else could hear.

"That was for the disgusting display which you were giving during lunch. Everyone knew exactly what you were doing."

Then she returned to her normal voice.

"Now it is time for the little animal to be fed."

She cut the string binding me to the pipe then reached between the bars around my caged head and gripped my ear which she used as a handle to drag me out of the room, along the corridor and out into the yard where the school was milling around. I was dragged to the back door of the kitchen where the pig bin, containing the scraps from everyone's meal had been tipped into an earthenware trough. Producing a key from her pocket Fortitude unlocked the horrible bridle and pressed down on my shoulders so that I was kneeling at the trough. Then she grabbed a hank of my hair and pressed my face down into the trough with its mixture of cold soup, squashed vegetables and rice pudding.

My bottom was in the air and I knew that the fleshy lips between my buttocks were on view as I lapped up the cold mixture with my hair falling over my face into the trough. Fortitude stood over me as I ate with a little ring of girls standing around at a safe distance to enjoy the show. When Fortitude felt I had eaten sufficient my hair was painfully grabbed and I was hauled to my feet with my face, hair and even my boobs covered in bits of food. She dragged me to an outside tap which she turned on full blast and forced my head under the freezing flow then picked up a rag and began to vigorously rub my breasts. To the watching, giggling girls she appeared to be just washing me but both Fortitude and I knew exactly what was being done to my tender nipples which were now standing to attention and throbbing very uncomfortably. 

After what seemed a very long time I was hauled to my feet and turned around with my soaking hair sticking to my face and cold water running down my naked body and I beheld the huge, black-clad bulk of Father Worthy who must have been standing watching my being washed. I tried to shrink back from the forbidding man. Could he have been there when I was face down in the trough showing my most secret part? I desperately hoped that he had not witnessed my debasement but I think I knew that he had seen everything.

I had expected to have all day going to lessons in my nakedness before being taken to the annex but it seemed that he had come for me now. The horror of the morning had taken me to my limit and beyond and now it felt that the devil himself had come to take me. I just could not face any more and I hugged Sister Fortitude with my face pressed to her bosom as I begged her in floods of hysterical tears not to let him take me. His huge hand closed over my forearm and I saw the big emerald ring which he always wore. For some reason my eyes locked on the ring and I noticed that the jewel had been swung to one side exposing a tiny silver needle. He lifted his hand from my arm and I felt a scratch on the back of my hand.

A childish voice deep inside my mind spoke in a very calm, matter of fact way,

"He has scratched my hand."

There was a whooshing sound in my ears and I sank to my knees feeling that I was shrinking and a horrible black cloud was gathering around me and blocking out all the faces looking down at me. They were moving their lips but I could not hear what they were saying. My arms were weightless and I was falling into a deep, dark pit.

Even in unconsciousness I was not to be allowed any rest. I don't know what the drug in the ring had been but it unlocked that dark place deep within my mind to which I had consigned my most shameful fantasies. I saw myself naked and stretched over Mr Turner's desk with him taking me by force; then I was on my bed in the dorm with my legs splayed wide apart and every girl in the dorm taking turns to play with my sensitive flesh. I had long had a secret crush on Alycia who slept in my dorm and had huge rounded breasts and now I saw myself caressing her naked breasts while Reverend Mother stood by with her cane ready to punish me for what I was doing.

After an age of the most arousing and debasing visions I found myself floating and feeling a gentle stroking between my legs. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Sister Fortitude sitting on the bed beside me and stroking my most private and tingly part. For a while I thought this yet another fantasy but then I looked around and saw that I was on a narrow wooden bed in a bare stone room which had an iron grille instead of a door. I knew that I was in the dreaded annex.

Fortitude spoke.

"I have come to help Father Worthy. Sister Patience is taking my Gym class."

With one hand she continued her lovely gentle stroking and with the other she unzipped the front of her tracksuit top to allow her neat white breasts to spill out into my view. She was smiling and making soothing sounds as her working between my legs increased in vigour and her naughty fingers began to dip between my secret lips aided by the lubrication of the increasing moisture which I was supplying.

My body began to writhe and deep sighs were issuing from my throat. Fortitude leaned down to me and her free hand caressed my tender breast. Automatically my hands came up to return the gesture to her and I was feeling the smooth warmth of her flesh then, our actions choreographed by ancient instincts, our lips met and I felt her tongue exploring my mouth and slipping around my own tongue.

Our bodies were entwined now and she had pushed down her trousers and stripped off her most un - nunlike tiny purple panties allowing my slender fingers to run through her thick pubic hair and find her intimate depths where her vaginal muscles gripped my hand as if they would never let go. I have no idea of how long we coupled and the cell filled with our gasps and moans but it caused me to slip into a deep sleep.

I awoke to find Fortitude sitting beside me gently stroking my hair. She was back in her navy tracksuit but I enjoyed a thrill at the knowledge that she was almost certainly completely naked beneath her one layer of clothing. I looked up and beheld the frightening form of Sister Penitence standing behind Fortitude. Penitence was the ugliest woman I had ever seen; her face was wrinkled and dominated by her huge nose and she was big. I don't mean that she was fat but she was thick set, like a man, and abnormally tall. She was in her full nun's habit. The combined presence of Fortitude who had so recently made love to me and Penitence who had a fearsome reputation had a very unbalancing effect upon me.

Fortitude spoke quietly and gently as she explained that I had a dark seed of evil set deep within me.

"You enjoyed what we did didn't you?"

I confessed that I had very much enjoyed it and Fortitude said that my dark needs had to be given vent at times but I had to learn that pleasure must always be balanced with punishment so that my soul could be cleansed. She told me that I now had to go with Sister Penitence and I had to obey her for my own good. Fortitude stood up and moved to one side so that Penitence could advance upon me; the woman grabbed my hair and yanked me off the bed. She held my hair at about level with her own waist so that I was obliged to walk while bent double with a searing pain in my head as I felt she was pulling my hair out by the roots.

We went out through the grille and into the next door room which was lit by a single dim, naked bulb hanging from the ceiling. It was a large room with peeling plaster and bare floorboards; I was vaguely aware of sundry items dumped around the room as if this were a junkroom. An old mattress lay in one corner but at the centre of the room was a large oblong table the top of which was a thick dark plank of old wood. Ugly black painted slabs of wood rested against the side of the table and I noticed a line of metal fitments near to either end of the table top.

Penitence released my hair and ordered me to lay face down on the table. Alone here naked and vulnerable with this monster there was no possibility that I would refuse to obey. I climbed onto the hard table and she told me to place my wrists on top of the metal fixings to either side of my neck then she lifted one of the wooden stocks from the floor and fitted it over my neck and wrists bolting it in place with metal bolts which were out of my reach. She then buckled onto my wrists thick leather cuffs so that my wrists were now too wide to be pulled free. All I could do was to look straight ahead and my vision was filled by a bucket of water which stood on the floor with two long birch rods protruding from it.

My jailor had now moved out of my sight and I felt her locking the other stock over my ankles and strapping leather cuffs around my ankles to fix them in place. My legs were held very wide apart. She moved back into view carrying a tin beaker which she placed to my lips and I gulped down the water. I had been very thirsty and was also hungry as I had eaten nothing apart from what I could lap up from the slop trough at lunchtime but I knew that naughty girls did not deserve to be fed. Without a word Penitence left me alone and I heard her locking the door.

I was in great discomfort with my tender nipples pressing into the table and my limbs being held fast in such an unnatural position. I found that it was best if I lay with my head on one side but that was not very comfortable and my eyes kept going to those two birch rods. My stomach was rumbling and I felt acid in my throat. I was also increasingly cold and, apart from the physical discomfort which was very great, I was being tortured by my own thoughts. Since breakfast this morning – was it still the same day – I had been subjected to terrible humiliation and abuse and I had no idea of what lay ahead although the presence of the birch rods were a big clue. I knew that they could do whatever they liked to me in this terrible place and I was tormented by the fear that I could become one of those girls who went to the annex never to return.

It seemed that for hour after hour I lay there moving my head from one side to the other and wriggling my limbs as much as I could then my heart stopped as I heard the door unlocked and then locked again and the huge bulk of Father Worthy appeared before me. He looked down at me as if I were the most disgusting creature he had ever beheld and then he grinned and moved out of my vision. I heard him turning a handle underneath the table and to my horror the table began to hinge in the middle so that my buttocks rose while my head and feet dropped. This pulled my body taught in the stocks so I was now held very firmly with the restraints biting into my ankles, neck and wrists.

He moved in front of me and slowly removed one of the rods from the bucket flexing it in his hands as the water dripped from it. I wanted to beg for mercy but I found that my voice did not work.

Now he was behind me and hidden from my view. I heard the whoosh in the air at exactly the same moment as the rod landed searing agony across my bottom and I screamed as if my lungs would burst. He had only struck once and I was sure I could stand no more but the second stroke landed almost immediately. I was fighting against the stocks but not moving an inch; he had an easy and unprotected target which was being held firmly in place for his torture. It needs to be understood that being birched bears no relation at all to feeling the cane; I was in extreme torture. I wanted to lose consciousness but that did not happen so all I could do was to lie there as he struck me again and again and I felt my warm blood run down my buttocks and between my legs. All rational thought had ended.

There came a point when I realised that I was no longer being struck and I lay on the table gasping for air and sobbing as if I would never stop. I was only dimly aware that he was releasing me from my cruel imprisonment and carrying me as if I had no weight at all to the mattress on the floor. I did not perceive things in a rational way so it was like a nightmare as I registered a huge black shape like a vampire looming over me and descending upon me. All his weight descended upon me as if to squeeze the life from my body and my legs were forced wide apart as if he wanted to tear me asunder like pulling a wishbone.

The world seemed to be full of his loud voice but then I ceased to be aware of anything which happened outside of my own body as my whole consciousness was consumed by the tearing agony deep within my belly. It seemed my whole lower body was being stuffed with something much larger than the space available and I saw in my mind's eye a picture of myself with the whole front of my body torn open and my innards bursting out like the stuffing from an old teddy bear. As the rape went on and on he was bouncing about on top of me crushing me into the damp mattress with his saliva soaking my hair and my face.

I was not even properly aware when he raised himself from me and yanked my face to his groin. I remember the whole world going pink and a vast fat cylinder which seemed to me as large as a tree trunk moving to my mouth. I smelt his sweat and the reek of his semen (although I did not recognise the smell as I had never smelt it before) and I was choking as it seemed my whole mouth and throat were filled with solid flesh. I was totally convinced that this was death and I found that I yearned for the final peace.

I have no memory at all of the ending of his assault upon me and I am haunted by the thought that I do not know what he did to me during the period when I had ceased to keep a record of events. All I know is that at some point Fortitude was there. She was naked and lying on the mattress beside me bathing my face. I turned to her and tried to reach up to bury my face in her breasts but I could not move; all I could do was to sob and sob. She held me and, some time later, she gently bathed my body in warm water as she made soothing sounds. As I was lying in her warm embrace I felt I was truly in Nirvana; I could not have been happier and the pleasure which I was feeling was worth every minute of my ordeal. I felt a great pride that I had endured as if I had done it for her. Now I understood about the balance between pain and pleasure; they are two sides of the same coin and I wanted to endure even more punishment so that I could enjoy more of this happiness. 

I am a bit muddled about time and about the course of events but I know that at some point I was in a warm bed with proper bedding and at some point Penitence brought me a meal on a tray but I have no idea of what it was. I remember Penitence telling me that it was time to return to school. She said it in that strict voice which was the only way that she ever spoke and she said that I had to see something before I left. My school uniform had appeared on the small table in the room and Penitence watched my every move as I dressed. Moving still caused an ache between my legs and I had ugly sore welts on my buttocks so pulling up my knickers was painful. I now saw the almost paranoid modesty amongst the girls in a new light and I wondered how many of them had to hide their bodies to conceal their own scars.

When I was dressed Penitence took me along a corridor to a small room whose walls were the ancient bare stonework of the original building. The room was dimly lit and from the ceiling hung a large iron hook. Suspended from this hook and spinning slowly was a naked and bound woman.

Despite the leather blindfold and the huge iron gag which was distorting her face I recognised Fortitude. Her wrists were chained to the back of her heavy iron collar so that her arms were straining up behind her back and ropes ran from the hook above her and under her arms where one could see how the bindings were cutting into her flesh. Metal clips were biting into her nipples and hanging from the clips were heavy lead balls which were swaying as she moved. The delicate petals of skin which formed her vaginal lips were being stretched downwards by more lead weights which were suspended from these little folds of sensitive flesh and I wondered how any woman could stand such a keen and intimate pain. When she had her back to me I saw a large lump of plastic protruding from between her buttocks which was stretching her back passage to its limit and must have been hurting her greatly. The front and rear of her body showed the livid scarlet wheals of a severe caning which had included her breasts themselves. A bar was fixed between her ankles keeping her legs wide apart as they hung about three feet above the stone floor. Fortitude was not simply spinning around but was also writhing against her bonds as if trying to ease her pain but it was clear that her struggles were futile.

My first reaction to this scene was horror but, to my shame, I have to confess that all the muscles between my legs tightened and, if I had not been under the eyes of Penitence, I would certainly have dipped my hand between my own legs to ease the tension which was being aroused there.




Punished at St Sade's



Penitence looked at the spinning victim and at me as she spoke to me.

"You will say nothing to anyone about what has happened during your penance."

The threat was all too clear and yet I knew that, however obedient I was, I would need to return to this place. The monster within me had been awakened and I now knew the connection twixt pain and pleasure so I would have to come back here to experience even more of this strange paradox. I knew all too clearly that I could never satiate my lust for pleasure if I did not return here and pain was all a part of that pleasure.