9 comments/ 53940 views/ 10 favorites Accidental Girl By: marybethsanford Characters: Bob Anderson, also known as Bobby; Ms. Miller - Bob's teacher; Julie Carter - Bobby's girlfriend; Rose Bickford - Julie's landlady; Ms. Abby Matthews; Ms. Barbara Turner, Abby's Administrative Assistant; Hilga, from In Home Nursing; Julie's friends: Cindy, Sandy, Tracy and Brenda; Nurse Bell; Nurse Carol; Mike Austin - Abby's Attorney; Sally, Abby's house keeper and Henry, Abby's driver. Synopsis: When a guy dresses like a girl the rest of the world begins debating the right and wrong of it along with the reasons why. Some will argue that it's nature as the cause. Others will tell you it's nurturing as the reason. No one, in either group, is going to agree completely that someone becomes a transsexual simply by accident. Things like that just don't happen that way, and isn't that funny. Bobby moaned as loudly as the other guys in the class. Ms. Miller, as always, smiled over those moans. Education, she once said, is only painful to those unwilling to learn. Bobby moaned again, although silently this time, as he looked at Ms. Miller's handout and began to read: "Class: Psychology 101; Teacher: Ms. Miller; Task: Essay Assignment Number Four: A question to consider, research and answer: For the girls: What do you think it's like to be a boy? For the boys: What do you think it's like to be a girl? For both genders: Consider each other's clothing, in context, beauty or looks, health aids, sports, hobbies, interactions with the opposite and same gender, concepts, thoughts, etc. I expect at least two thousand words, in a draft form, due next Monday at the start of class. Also be prepared to discuss your opinions and how you arrived at them during class." Ms. Miller was at it again, Bobby thought, and this assignment worse than the last. That last was agonizing for the boys. For any boy to write an essay about girls and what happens to them going through puberty. Of course the girls wrote about the boys under those same set of circumstances but it wasn't the same. Questions with depth she'd said. Ms. Miller, Bobby decided long ago, was a nut. "Hey," Bobby said as Julie walked up with that light smile she often had for no other reason, she said, than it was easier than frowning. "Hey! So why the long face?" Julie asked. "Ms. Miller again," Bobby said waving the paper in Julie's face as he said it. "Love that woman," Julie said. She'd walked Bobby through her own puberty covering that last assignment giving Bobby long moments of shivers at some of Julie's detailed descriptions. He didn't want to know most of what she'd told him as Julie added, "so what's she doing to you this time?" "What's it like to be a girl. Hello? I mean what's it like to be a girl as if I care to know that. She's doing this stuff on purpose," Bobby said. "I know. Someone should do something about that! She's like... you know, teaching for heavens sake. Now who would have expected that kind of thing from a teacher," Julie said sarcastically. "You know what I mean," Bobby said not missing Julie's tone. "Yes I do and honestly Bobby, nothing I've read on this assignment sheet is all that difficult. So what's the big deal?" Julie asked and added, "she's even allowing you to formulate an answer in any number of ways. Nice." "Nice. So you up for the interviews?" Bobby asked. "Interviews?" Julie answered. "Questions and answers. You know, I ask you what it's like to be a girl and a short time later, much later, you answer me in about two thousand words or more," Bobby said. "Right! So why don't I just give up my evening, go to the library, write down everything I know about being a girl and then just give it to you?" Julie said. "Would you! Gosh Julie, that would awesome," Bobby said not missing the sarcasm in Julie's voice as he added a bit of his own. "Or, we could go get a pizza, your treat, obviously, rent a movie, my choice, and when I've been bribed adequately, I give you an inside look on the life of a girl," Julie said. "Great, now why didn't I think of that! And I suppose that movie is going to be a what... one or two tissues?" Bobby said. "Are you kidding me? With you paying for it I'm going all the way and find me a three tissue movie, "Julie said as she took Bobby's hand. "So you'll help?" Bobby asked confirming he had gotten a yes somewhere in that conversation. "Of course," Julie said and added, "who doesn't want to talk about themselves and what girl is going to not take an opportunity to explain why we're so superior to boys." "Right! OK then. Pizza and your movie and I get two thousand words on your insight into the feminine world," Bobby said laughing. Bobby was being sarcastic but he also knew he'd get a lot of information from this girl he often called a friend and sometimes a girl friend. The two terms meaning two different things often enough. Bobby and Julie's relationship was unusual at best, beginning one late night at the library when Julie unexpectedly got her period. They were alone at a table in the back when Julie jumped up and ran to the girl's bathroom in a panic. Bobby followed stopping short of the door asking Julie if she was OK. She wasn't but wouldn't for the longest time say why, until Bobby asked, as tactfully as he could, if she'd gotten her period. Bobby's sister had done that very same thing one day and the solution, as it happens, was the same now as it had been then. Bobby got Julie's keys, went to her house, then to her room and with the help of Rose, found panties, a skirt and with a great deal of foresight a plastic bag for the clothes Julie had soiled, along with the pad she needed. It had impressed Julie on several levels that act of kindness her knight in not so shiny armor performed that evening. It was other things she liked about him as well and not too long after that incident. For one thing Bobby didn't panic when she dragged him to a makeup counter and for a boy to know the names of some of the stuff girls are made of fascinated her. It took some doing to get to the bottom of Bobby's understandings of such things, but she did and by that time they had a relationship of sorts. Bobby was the only boy in a very large house shared by his mother, his aunt and her daughter, his cousin, growing up. He'd lost his father and uncle in the same year on an oil rig accident in the middle east when he was too young to know his father. Growing up with girl stuff was just something he'd done. And no, Bobby made very clear when Julie's smile twisted slightly one day, he'd never gotten any closer to that girl stuff than any other boy. Unless you counted Halloween and that part of this came long after they'd been intimate. Of course Bobby made a very cute girl and that too was at least one of the reasons Julie liked him. That last was never said outside of teasing him over those pictures of Halloween, but it was there nonetheless. "You could probably answer most of that question yourself," Julie noted as she took a bite from the second slice of pizza she'd started. "Not likely," Bobby said defending his ego which was already at risk given the subject matter. "You grew up with woman! With a girl even, and, if I can point out those pictures from your Halloweens, you've worn her clothes, albeit only briefly, but that definitely qualifies you far better than most boys," Julie said. "Growing up with it and knowing about it are two different things. Wearing girl's clothes, and I only wore them Halloween just for the record, doesn't give you any better insight into being a girl than you knowing about boys by wearing pants," Bobby said. "Yes it does, but I'll accept your denial since I do have some experience with a boy's girlaphobia," Julie noted. "Girlaphobia? Is that what that is?" Bobby said laughing. "It is. Why guys can't be open about what girls are about is so fascinating that I may very well limit my practice to just that when I get licensed," Julie said. "Doctor of Girlaphobia. Has a nice ring to it. So doc, can you truly cure me of girlaphobia or am I doomed to die never having known a cure," Bobby said clutching his chest. "I can cure you but you're not going to like it," Julie said and added, "starts with a bubble bath." "Not in your wildest dreams and you're drifting off the point of that pizza I should add," Bobby said. "Well, go ahead and suffer then. See if I care. Now then, let's go find a movie I can sink a tissue into and perhaps, although this could just be wishful thinking, it's something you might enjoy as well," Julie said. "Right," Bobby said picking up the pizza box with the four remaining slices taking up only half the space. Both had eaten two with a large soda and it was enough. Both were the same size and that too Julie liked about Bobby and half his tee-shirts now mixed with her own. She was also grinning as the pushed themselves through the door to the sidewalk. "What?" Bobby asked. "Nothing," Julie answered. "Nothing with you is something! So what is that nothing making you smile?" Bobby asked. "I was just thinking is all," Julie said without taking it any further. "The answer is no," Bobby said. "I haven't said a word," Julie said in a mock innocence. "Don't have to! I've seen that grin before and it doesn't matter what the question is because I won't like it," Bobby said. "So hearing me out isn't going to hurt then is it?" Julie said. "No, it's not because no matter what, the answer is no," Bobby said. "Will you at least hear me out? I mean listening to what I have to say is actually one of the keys to a good relationship," Julie said. "I'll take my chances," Bobby said. "It could put you at risk of sleeping alone tonight," Julie said looking mischievously at Bobby. "I buy you pizza and I'm about to rent two hours worth of guy torture tape and you're cutting me off," Bobby said. "Absolutely! Besides, that pizza and tape is for your class assignment so don't go adding any additional things to that bargain. This is separate. Getting laid was not part of that deal, this part is," Julie said. "You ever think about selling stuff? I mean you'd be great selling cars or something," Bobby said. "Really? So that's a yes then?" Julie asked. "No, that's a no still, but you'd be great selling cars," Bobby said. "And you my friend are sleeping alone tonight," Julie said as her face changed slightly to the hint of a frown. "Come on, what did I do? OK, OK, tell you what... 'Hey Julie, why don't you tell me what you're thinking' and while you do that I'm going to be looking really interested and when you're done, then I'll say no but I get laid," Bobby said. "Nope! We get the movie, popcorn and as soon as the credits start rolling you'll be walking back to your own room," Julie said. "Fine, what is it that's got you in such an uproar all of a sudden?" Bobby said. "You and your girlaphobia," Julie said. "I knew it! I knew it was going to be something like that," Bobby said. "You don't know dip," Julie said and the tone suggested instantly that Bobby might not even get the benefit of the movie he was about to rent. "Hey, lighten up a little. Come on, give. Honestly, I'll at least listen," Bobby said hoping to turn this turn of events in his favor. He could easily say no and was sure he would but not getting laid tonight wasn't worth the risk. "Go with us tomorrow," Julie said. "Go with you where?" Bobby asked. "Us! Go with us tomorrow," Julie repeated making it clear it wasn't just her. "Go with who where?" Bobby asked. "Cindy, Sandy, Tracy and Brenda! We're going to look for a dress for Brenda, she's going to be in her sister's wedding," Julie said. "That's it? That's what you wanted to ask?" Bobby said. "Yes, that was it, that was the mole hill you turned into a mountain," Julie noted. "Then why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Bobby said. "Because I was thinking that if you went with us... as one of us, you'd get a lot of material," Julie said. "As one of you? OK, stop right there! Now see that, you did it! You did it just like I said you would and now you know why I said no. OK, I listened and the answer is no," Bobby said. "You haven't heard the rest of it," Julie said sounding as calm as Bobby was excited. "Don't need to. I got to that part where you said 'as one of us' and that's all I needed to hear," Bobby said. "Go as one of us wearing the same things you're wearing now almost," Julie said. "Almost? What does almost mean?" Bobby asked. "Part your hair, add a little bit of makeup, change your tennis shoes for my tennis shoes and a bit of padding and that's pretty much it," Julie said. "That's pretty much it is right! Do you girls, when you girls ask this sort of thing of guys, ever consider what it is you are really asking?" Bobby said. "Ignoring a guy's girlaphobia or not," Julie said. "Girlaphobia is legitimate in this case. You're asking me to dress as a girl! Julie, guys don't dress as girls! Not for any good reason except a few that, I should note, can Mark a guy for life," Bobby said. "I'm asking you to allow me to feminize you, go out with the girls yes, but safely. Safely, discretely and in the end you've got five girls to get information out of," Julie said. "No, what I've got is five girls that will never ever let me live it down and no good reason besides," Bobby said before adding, "besides, the only person I need to interview is you." "I know, I know. It was just me testing you a bit. I suppose I just needed to confirm what I already suspect," Julie said. "What?" Bobby asked knowing full well he was being baited. "That you, like most men, are truly cowards at heart. You talk brave and can be when it comes to guy stuff but try on a little bit of femininity and you run whimpering to mommy," Julie said sounding disgusted. "That's not going to work," Bobby said and added, "you're bating me! You know it and I know it so you can stop wasting your time now." "And Halloween, what was your reasoning for Halloween then? What allowed you to suspend all of this macho B.S. for a dress that night," Julie asked. "That was Halloween," Bobby said now cursing his decision to go as Julie's girlfriend to her guy disguise. Julie had wanted to go as cross dressers which simply meant they sharing clothes and they had. "Come on and give me a slightly better reason than that. I mean what is it about Halloween? Do you guys have a secret pack about Halloween? Something that says it's OK to dress as a girl on that night and that night alone?" Julie asked. "Believe it or not the answer is yes," Bobby said and added, "guys can dress as girls without getting branded. Teased yes, but not branded! Unless of course they go too far," Bobby said regretting that last. "Panties?" Julie asked. "Those were your idea, remember," Bobby said. "And you like them," Julie said. "And I liked them! OK, so? I mean that doesn't change what you're suggesting," Bobby said. "It does a little because I thought it was pretty brave of you to do that! Fun for me as well remember," Julie said. Julie had wanted to wear Bobby's underwear that night and she wanted him to wear hers so she didn't feel guilty wearing his. She wanted to be authentic she'd said, whatever that meant. He'd done it and admitted he'd like it. Any guy would if that guy was being honest. Didn't make him a cross dresser or anything else because that was the last time. "Now we're going to try a different tactic, right?" Bobby asked. "About you being brave? That's not a tactic. Listen Bobby, you are brave. Hell, I can't name another boy, not one, that would have done what you did that night in the library. You are special and admitting it or not doesn't change that. I'm just saying that this wouldn't be all that risky and it would truly get you a lot of insight into us being us for an hour or so," Julie said softening slightly her voice. "Why can't you girls understand why we guys can't do that sort of thing?" Bobby asked. "Because we can't imagine something like that being as horrifying as you guys make it out to be. Hell, you passed that night... remember? No one even knew you were a guy till we told them," Julie said. "Doesn't play into this," Bobby said as they reached the video store causing Bobby to add, "can we take this up later?" "Yes," Julie said pushing the door open and walking in ahead of Bobby. It was the films that started raising Bobby's blood pressure. Julie was bating him again as she picked up: Dress code and Ma Via Rose, then La Cage Aux Folles along with To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar. "What are you doing?" Bobby asked. "Getting a few movies to watch," Julie said. "You've got about eight hours in your hands already and that's not the question! The question is what are you doing?" Bobby asked. "I'm not sure yet. Here, hold these while I go ask the guy where I can find the Crying Game and Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert," Julie said. "Is there a point to this?" Bobby asked. "I think so but honestly I'm not sure yet," Julie said. "Well you come back here," Bobby said in a loud whisper as Julie turned to walk off. "What?" Julie asked. "That guy is going to see these and those other films and start wondering and you know that," Bobby said. "Wondering? Oh, you mean that you might... You know, like that sort of thing? You're right, I'll bet he does," Julie said as she turned away to walk again towards the sales desk. "Will you come here! Please," Bobby said. "What now?" Julie said. "What is your point?" Bobby asked. "My point is? Let's see? OK, my point is that you might just as well go along with my idea because no one outside of me and the girls is going to know it's you. On the other hand, a lot of people are going to start guessing otherwise beginning tonight," Julie noted and added, "So, what's it going to be, an hour in secret tomorrow or the next few weeks giving off a bunch of hints?" "You wouldn't," Bobby said. "Right! Excuse me, I have a few more films to get. Oh, and that part about you wearing panties? That's no longer a secret either," Julie said as she turned towards the desk again. "Julie! Wait," Bobby said. "What?" Julie asked. "This isn't funny," Bobby said. "It is! I mean think about it. You could easily dress as a girl and not blink an eye... an eye covered in mascara I might add and yet, you can't rent a few films. Of course it's funny," Julie said. "I'm serious," Bobby said. "So am I, so do this one thing for me tomorrow?" Julie asked. "Julie, what the hell is so important that I've got to pretend I'm a girl?" Bobby asked in frustration. "Because I just began to realize that we're not really joking about that girlaphobia as funny as it sounds and this assignment is going to get blown off by you. Honestly, it's a great opportunity for you to really get a taste of what we are about. An honest and safe way to step into my shoes and I mean that both figuratively and literally," Julie said. "And I can't count Halloween as that experience," Bobby asked and added, "or those half dozen other times growing up?" "Half dozen? You said you dressed as a girl a couple of times," Julie noted. "Will you stop! That's not the point! I'm saying you're putting me... a guy... at very great risk asking me to do that and you know it," Bobby said. "A half dozen times? You got pictures?" Julie asked. "I'm about to go Postal here," Bobby said as Julie smiled. "Come on, for me! One time, one hour. One lousy hour. We doll you up... No, forget that word! We get you looking like one of us, take you shopping to one store and drive you back, no one the wiser and you a lot smarter," Julie said and added, "and it's not even all that girlish either. Jeans, tee shirt and something in your hair."