2 comments/ 18661 views/ 0 favorites Self Defense By: simply_cyn Her mind was made up. No one, not even this man, her angelic gift from above, was going to get close enough to hurt her again. Her heart had suffered enough bruises and cuts to last a lifetime and she would be damned before she allowed it to happen again. But a part of her wanted to believe, if only for a moment, that his sugar-coated words could be true; that she was gifted with both his heart and his mind. There were always those doubts though ... those self-defensive words that crept into her heart just when things looked too perfect. "If it seems too perfect ... then it's not." And this was too perfect ... he was too perfect. But she blindly allowed it to continue, for her mind to be fooled into thinking that maybe, just maybe, he could be the one. Her heart ached to be loved, to be healed from those past wounds that had hardened it so and here before her, was her beacon of light. He shone brightly out among the others, as if sent straight down from heaven above to heal the girl that cried out in pain when alone with her dreams. She was falling in love ... that much was obvious; not only to herself, but to those around her. They noticed that something different in her mannerisms; the endless smile, the extra bounce in her step, the light in her eyes. It was beauty to behold because for so long she had that dull expression that comes from being trampled beneath the feet of uncaring men. But now ... now her fire was returning and it was glorious indeed. Everyone said so. But still there was that part of her, that anger that simmered beneath her skin, never too far from her thoughts, over the past heartache and lies that had come her way down this lonely path of love. Even as she sat for hours on end in conversation with him, getting to know him better and allowing him to get to know her, she couldn't help but look at him at times and wonder if he was a master at lying through his teeth. She was starting to think what man wasn't a liar, a thief of hearts, an untamed rogue that could care less of the disasters he left behind in his wake. In still moments though, she allowed herself to believe ... to dream ... to hope. Perhaps he was the one that would make it all better, to make her past stop haunting her in tormenting moments and allow her to blossom beneath his care and attentions. He was everything that she had hoped for and he was so down to earth, realistically speaking. Financially, he was in control. He had a good head on his shoulders. He was confident about his goals and his abilities to make her dreams a reality. They had so much in common. Would it be so wrong to let him in close? Over the next few weeks, they spent more time together and she allowed herself to believe. It was almost an unfamiliar feeling, this surge of hope that sprang through her and she tried so desperately to tread cautiously as her trampled heart began to soar. She should have been more careful but she carelessly wanted to believe. He doted on her, put her up on a pedestal that she had forgotten even existed and she began to believe his honeyed words. All she began to see was him and even as she began to thrive on the moments that she spent in his arms, somewhere in the back of her mind screamed out in horror to beware! But all that seemed to matter was him and the time that she spent with him ... moments lost in one another's arms, endless hours on the phone, exchanged e-mails back and forth and countless other times spent in one another's company. Her hardened heart was beginning to soften. But then the impending happened and everything changed from bittersweet moments to betraying hatred. A supposed moment between friends, an innocent display of affection perhaps; things that would have come across as normal exchanges between two people in passing were seen as blatant unforgiving crimes in the heart of a doubter. That jezebel that called herself friend wrapped around his arm like the two-timing whore she really presented herself to be ... the love of her life, the protector of her heart, the healer of her wounds was now in the lovely clutches of her lies. And he loved it ... it was apparent in his smile whenever he saw her. These things were pointed out innocently enough through the eyes of another that longed for the bleakness of where she used to be. Hatred grows deep with support from others that feel the same shame of its solitude. It's true what they say about sorrow needing its throngs of supporters. The pain was unbelievable. This was betrayal in its purest form. She couldn't see past the picture that had been presented to her. Even though the information had been told in words, in an ugly whisper in her ear, presented so innocently as though she was stupid enough not to see what was going on ... in her mind, it was as clear as a beautiful portrait had been painted with quick sure strokes that could not be denied. He was playing her and anger rose to the surface as quick and sure as a single shot to her heart. He would pay. She could feel the cold icy fingers of nothingness close in around her heart, securing the steel band in place once more. He would pay. The glimmer in blue eyes turned to stone, the warmth of her smile fading into a tight line across lips that once shimmered like the sweetest of berries. He would pay. A myriad of past haunts and old lies came spiraling into one pure thought process and she could feel only hate and bitterness replace the warmth of her trust. Revenge is a vengeful companion when allowed to feed upon one's past memories and at this moment it ruled above all else. Even as she prepared for her evening with him, her one final moment in his arms, she knew what had to be done. Mechanically she moved through the motions of her ultimate seduction even as her face froze into a beautiful stoned smile. Carefully applied make-up, precise placement of pins into curls of fire that cascaded into shimmering waves over her shoulders, the exact selection of the evening dress that would seduce him into her bed one last time; these things played out against the beat of her blackening heart. Men ... they could only see past the hardening bulge of their pants when presented with the lovely vision that greeted him at her door this eve and plans of a night out were quickly scraped when he realized her intentions of spending the evening in between silken sheets. The bastard couldn't even see the dull gleam in her eye as his own was riveted to the curve in her breasts displayed lewdly in the bosom of her gown. Her hatred grew even greater as his natural attraction to a woman's flesh only reinforced her self-acclaimed reasons to put an end to his deceitful heart. As she rode him, she could feel the hatred welling up within, the glimmer in her eye growing, not only with the passions that she allowed him to stir this one last time but also with the surety of what must be done. It was a shame that he had to be destroyed as his cock was so delicious and did such wonderful things to her when she allowed herself to feel. But he would pay. He did not deserve to fuck her again ... or anyone else for that matter. Her eyes narrowed to tiny little slits as she watched his head jerk back in pure bliss, his eyes closing in passion as he thrust up into her. She could feel her breath starting to grow more rapid as she reached back slowly, fingers searching in the sheets jumbled around him as she felt his balls swell beneath his ass. He would pay dearly. The feel of his hands grasping her hips, pushing her harder down onto his raging cock with his thrust, as if he had some kind of control over her only spurred her anger even more. She could feel her own impending orgasm as her fingers curled around the fine bone handle of the slender knife, its edge glimmering in the dancing candle light as she brought it closer. He was so lost in the moment of his building release that he didn't even see the flash of it as she raised it over her head, fingers curling around it menacingly as her other one joined in, hips rocking forward, faster with each thrust as she felt him like steel up inside her. And then, just as his fingers dug into her hips and he thrust up one final time, her hands came down with a cry, the wickedly curved blade slamming into his chest. She could hear a definitive crunch and the spew of blood that shot up over her even as thick ropes of hot cum splashed against her walls. His scream was lost in both his cry of passion and hers of rage. Again she withdrew as his eyes glazed over in shock, his fingers weakening on her hips even before her tried to reach up to stop her but by now, her anger was far greater than his strength and again the knife thrust into him even as her hips continued to rock on him. The blood gurgled in his throat even as he screamed out, flailing beneath her and then as she withdrew once more to angrily slash at his throat, her shockingly calm and still form covered in his blood, he ceased to struggle beneath her. Suddenly it was as though she saw him as he was when she was most happy, that moment in time when she believed in him and the promises of his love and a small tear kissed the inside of her stormy blue eyes. Her hand trembled a bit that held the knife and it fell limply to the bed beside her thigh still possessively pressed to his hip as she straddled him. A soft cry escaped her throat as she looked down at this man that she had once believed to be her savior from above, his eyes beginning to glaze over as the life seeped out with his blood. "I told you not to hurt me," she whispered as she leaned close to his ear, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. His glazed eyes rimmed with pain and horror met hers as he struggled to breathe. She could see he was struggling to find a way to speak even as death's fingers wrapped around his rapidly chilling form. "Why?" he choked out, a trickle of blood slowly running from the corner of his mouth as he looked up to her. Her fingers calmly brushed aside his now matted hair from his pain-wretched face, a lone tear slipping down hers as she watched him breathe his last. "Self defense," she whispered. Self Defense We just moved to a new town. My boys were pretty upset with the move, but we had to go where the job took us. Once we got settled, I started looking into clubs or activities they could join. I narrowed it down to a membership at the community center for swimming and other periodic events or martial arts. Martial arts won, hands down. Two boys? Learning how to fight? Yeah, no contest. That first day, I watched proudly at my kids in their gi while they began their workout. I snapped a few pictures for their dad, who couldn't make it because of his work schedule. I just finished sending my little memories when you sat next to me. I barely glanced, focused on the kids but I was acutely aware of you all the same. Maybe it was because there were still several empty seats and you decided to select the one next to me. Or maybe it was your cologne. Whatever it was, I noticed you but pretended not to. That was until you spoke. "Which one is yours?" You leaned closer to whisper quietly. I glanced at you and noticed the arms of your black tee stretching around your large bicep. "Two. The blonde there and the little brunette who is acting like he is in a bad karate movie." I motioned with my head, my arms folded without thought. Perhaps I was already trying to keep myself from you subconsciously. "Yours?" "The student instructor, there." He pointed to the teen in front of the class helping the senior instructors. I smiled, "You must be proud. It's our first day." I laughed when my youngest fell in mid kick but got right back up like he was having the time of his life. "I am." You confirmed and we watched silently for a few more minutes. "First day. Are you new to town?" "Yeah, just a few weeks ago." We chit chatted politely. Small talk. Nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, I'd had almost the same conversation several times over the past few weeks. Where we moved from. What brought us here. How do we like it. Innocent. But there was something there. Humming under the surface. At the end of class, we said our goodbyes and I collected my boys. I found myself actually putting make up on for the next class and casually glancing at the door for your arrival and when you did enter, I once again pretended not to notice. I manged to hide my disappointment when you sat behind me instead of either empty seat I'd sat myself between. At the end of class, you nodded my way and I returned a nod before leaving. I chastised myself for even entertaining my silly thoughts. I was a happily married woman. You were married to, if your wedding band were any indication. Silly. I stopped by the table at the door which held flyers for upcoming special classes. Noting the woman's defense class, I decided to sign up. Why not? It was practical and my boys would get a kick out of mommy learning some moves too. I arrived that Saturday night and kicked my shoes off at the door. Pulling my long brown hair into a messy ponytail and tugged my tank top back down over my yoga pants. I felt a little self conscious as I looked at the other ladies. Most were trim and fit where I had curves and softness. I was taking a sip from my water bottle when I heard the class being called to a start. I almost spit my water out when I seen it was you were was standing up front with the other two instructors. If I wasn't feeling self conscious before, I certainly was when you looked up and seen me. I noticed a small smile play across your lips that made me dash my eyes away. I sat cross legged on the mat along with the other ladies and listened to the lead instructor run down some stats and share a few stories. They demonstrated a couple techniques, all made to make us feel like bad asses by the end of the two week course. After a while, we grouped off a few ladies per instructor for a more hands on demonstration. As luck would have it, you were our instructor. I let myself fall to the background while one lady, a blonde who looked like she lived in a gym, volunteered to try out the move first. For whatever reason, it made my stomach turn to see her flirt with you. And she so obviously was flirting. When she went through the move, I was secretly hoping she'd fall on her face. But no luck. I encouraged the other lady to go next. At least this one wasn't throwing herself at you. "My goodness." The blonde leaned to whisper conspiratorially to me. And I looked at her like she had two heads. She didn't notice tho. Her eyes were locked on you. "I'd love to come across him in a dark alley." She said as she raked her eyes down your body. I rolled my eyes and kept my head straight ahead. Finally, it was my turn. I nervously stepped forward. "Be gentle." I teased. "Where's the fun in that?" You teased back and made the move to grab me. As instructed, I blocked and grabbed and spun until I was out of the grab. You smiled. "Good. Good. Now..." with your hand on my shoulder you spoke to the other ladies in our small group. "If you attacker comes up to you from behind..." And put yourself behind me. Your body pressed into me. I gulped and tried to focus on the lesson, not the warmth of your body. Or the hardness of your chest and thighs. Or the strength in your arms wrapped around my chest. Slowly. Ever so slowly, you moved showing the possibilities from the aggressors point of view and then went on to show the possible moves we could use to counter the attacks. We weren't far into the demo before I felt your erection pressed against my butt cheek. I tried to pull away a bit so as not to embarrass you but you casually moved me back against it and my body responded in kind. When my turn was finished, I watched from the side line. You weren't nearly as attentive to the other ladies, especially the blonde. I did find a little satisfaction in that, but it also left me wondering. The lose fitting pants kept your erection hidden, yes, I looked. But I wondered if it were just the friction of our bodies drawing the response or if it were something else. Did the other two also have that effect on you? At the end of class, we rejoined the others on the mat and I kept feeling your eyes on me. I'd look away shyly only to be pulled back. "Next Saturday. Same place. Same time." We were dismissed. "Don't forget to check out the other classes we offer." he reminded us. I darted to the mat that held our shoes and collected mine, trying like mad to get outside before I ran into you again. "Are you signing up for other classes?" You asked, my shoe extended in your hand as I looked up. I accepted my shoe with a soft 'thanks' and slipped it on. "I don't know yet." "I teach a few of the ongoing adult courses." Were you encouraging me to sign up for your classes especially? I walked over to the notebook to flip through the sign up sheets and you pointed out the ones you taught as you came up behind me. Your fingers brushed down my arm. Nonchalant if that had been the only thing that happened that night. But it wasn't, and your nearness only served to remind me of that. I stepped to the side to put some distance between us. It was already dangerous. "Yeah? I didn't realize you were an instructor here too." I tried to make small talk while I avoided looking directly at you, lest you see the storm of desire and confusion behind my eyes. "Yeah. I've been assisting for the last couple years. My wife likes it. Gets me out of her hair and she can use the house for one of her crafting meetings or another." "You're married?" I didn't mean for it to come out so abruptly, or so accusingly. After all, I'd guessed as much already but actually hearing it I felt a bit, betrayed, for lack of a better term. "Yeah. Why?" You cocked your head to the side as if you were as confused by my reaction as I was. "Oh" I tried to cover it up and gave my best smile with a shrug, "I guess..."I laughed nervously, "Nothing. I...I better get going. My husband is on kid duty and they can get a little wild at bedtime." Part of me was pleased I could point out I was married as well. "I'll see you." And with that I was out the door without waiting for your reply. Inside the privacy of my car, I berated myself out loud. "Get it together, Becca. Jesus! One handsome guy smiles at you and you go all school girl? What the hell?!" My resolve was steel by the time the boys' next class rolled around. I purposely wore no make up. Plain, ordinary clothes befitting a married mother of two. I sat in the corner furthest form the door and plugged in my earbuds while I watched the boys go through the moves. You must have taken the hint because you too sat far away. We did well ignoring each other the other classes and I waited to see which group you'd instruct at the self defense class. Sure, we smiled and nodded politely but we both avoided each other besides that. The summer progressed and just before school was due to start, the center threw a pizza party and movie night. I left my youngest with his father since it was expected to last until 11 and he would drop off my oldest before it started. since volunteered to help out. Arriving about an hour before the kids were due, I was relieved when I didn't see you. It was growing increasingly difficult to fight the obvious tension between us. "Put me where you need me, Master Evans." I offered as jobs were being handed out. "Great. Do you mind picking up the pizzas?" "Not at all." "K...John can help since there are so many." Looking over my head. "Here he is now. John?! Can you help Becca run to pick up the pizzas?" I couldn't even bring myself to turn and look at you. I didn't want anything to show on my face. "Sure." Your voice seeped into my ear and caressed my mind. shit. I climbed into your car and kept my eyes straight ahead, hands in my lap, sunglasses on. "I have to swing by my house to grab the movies. I forgot them. It's on the way." "Ok." Pretending to be interested in the passing buildings and houses until we pulled into your drive way. You put the car in park and it was silent. You made no move to get out of the car so I finally turned to look at you. "Becca." The way you said my name took my breath. It was like a summon and I found myself meeting you half way and in the throws of a passionate kiss before I knew what happened. Panting I pushed against your shoulders and slammed myself back against the car door. My hands were shaking as I ran my fingers over my mouth, still burning from your kiss. "I can't. I..." My whole body was brimming with need. Desire coursed through my veins like volcanic lava threatening to consume everything in it's wake. I heard the door close and looked over at your empty seat. What the hell was I doing? The rest of the trip was deathly quiet. We returned to the center. Set up. Helped out. Talked to others. But I was just going through the motions. I couldn't get that kiss off my mind. During the movie, I slipped away to be alone. Inside the ladies room I stared at myself in the mirror for the longest time until you appeared behind me. I whirled around, half expecting you not to be there, but there you were. Your presence pulsing inside the small room. "What are you doing? This is the ladies' room!" I hissed in a whisper. "I can't help it. I want you, Becca. I fucking want you bad." You stepped closer and I pressed myself against the sink. "You want me too. I can see it. I can smell it." "Don't be ridiculous, John. The kiss...it was a mistake." I tried to step around you but you took a step to block me. I stepped the other way and there you stood. "Move." "Becca." Your arm went around my waist. "Kiss me again. One more kiss and tell me you don't feel it. This fucking crazy, intense chemistry we have. Tell me you don't and I walk away. That's it." "I most certainly will not! I am married!" I started into your eyes, my brows pinched. "You're married!" "Then I'll kiss you." And you did. Your body pressed into mine, pushing me back against the wall. You took my mouth violently. Possessively. Smashing my lips into my teeth and your tongue speared into my mouth. I shoved and pushed but you kept kissing. To my chagrin, I kissed you back with match animalistic, primal, raw desire. Your mouth traveled down my neck, kissing, sucking, biting until I was whimpering and panting. Twisting your shirt up in my fists while I attempted to climb your body. "John" I sighed and then stopped still. Another man's name coming from my mouth, my voice so laden with lust, sounded like someone else's. "Stop. I can't" Your hand snaked up under my shirt and roughly grouped my breast through my bra. My hard nipple digging into your palm. "John. Stop it. No!" I shoved and didn't even manage to make you budge an inch. I felt panic close in around my chest. "Stop it!" I tried fighting you off. Funny I didn't remember one single defensive move you, yourself taught me. "Shhhhh. Becca. It's ok....shhhh." "No!"I cried and slapped at you. "Don't do this. Please." I didn't even realize my bra was down until your mouth descended on my nipples. One and then the other you ravenously devoured. I was scared and humiliated. Ashamed. Because in spite of my fear, I was aroused. I knew it. I felt my nether lips glide along each other with every move I made to fight you off of me. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold back my moans until metallic liquid flooded my mouth. You moaned and grunted as you feasted on my breasts while I watched in rapt fascination. My hips pushed against yours, in protest at first but once I realized the pressure of my sex against your thigh sent a jolt of pleasure down my spine, I did it again. What is wrong with me? I can't enjoy this. I am married. This is rape. Both of my wrists were held above my head, smashed against the wall. Your fingers biting into my tender flesh. The pain didn't stop me from fighting tho. I had to. I couldn't just let it happen. I couldn't. Maybe if I stopped fighting, you'd stop. You'd come to your senses or maybe I could gain enough room to finally escape you. The elastic band shorts I wore offered little resistance so you yanked them down easily. I panicked. I kicked and bucked. I bumped against your already naked sex. When did you even take your pants down? Knock knock. We both froze and stared at the door. "Yeah?" I called out. "Oh sorry, I didn't know it was occupied." "I'll..." You slid inside me then. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat. "I'll be out in a few. There is another...bathroom" I tried to keep my voice steady and you slid in and out of me tight warmth. "on the other side of the gym." I looked back at you as we heard her walk away. Why didn't I scream? Call for help? "Fuck. Becca." "You gotta stop, John." My voice betrayed my words. Each syllable was laced with moans and whimpers as your cock invaded my depths. "Just this once." You promised and released my wrists to grab my hips as you started to pound in and out of me in earnest. Each thrust of your pelvis hit my clit. My body was a traitor. Lighting bolts of pleasure like I'd never experienced shot through me and my walls began to tighten around you. I blinked against the tears that were brimming over, spilling down my cheeks. I reasoned with myself, plead, begged my body to behave but to my horror a tightness began deep inside of me, one I knew I could not hold back as I tumbled, fell, plunged over the edge. I shrieked against your shoulder and dug my nails into your biceps as I came in spite of myself. Moaning and mewing in pleasure as my orgasm rocked through me. Humiliation burned my cheeks. How appropriate. Red, like the Scarlet Letter. My face wore my sin. I was being taken against my will and I fucking loved it. "Fuck yes. God." You grunted and pistoned in and out of me. Rolling your hips on the down stroke that sent little after shocks through my body. That one groan made me snap my head back, back to attention. "Don't, John. You can't." My fighting began again. More determined than ever to stop you. You didn't know, couldn't know that my husband and I had been actively trying to have another baby. But my protests died in the stale air of the ladies' rest room as I felt you twitch and pulse. Felt that powerful rope of semen splatter my womb. "I...I'm sorry." You at least looked apologetic. "I can't...fuck...I can't stop. Becca!!" Shot after shot of steaming seed released deep inside my fertile womb. "Oh God." I called out. You may have misunderstood it as a sign of enjoyment but it was a prayer that your potent seed not get me pregnant. Once you'd emptied yourself inside me, eased out and handed me a wad of paper towel to clean myself. You had no idea that the damage was already done. "I...I'm sorry." You apologized again as we got dressed. "I don't want to talk about it." I said coldly. I had to be cold. I couldn't let this happen again in spite of our undeniable attraction. "But, I want to see you again. This can't be the only time." "John." I sighed. How could I explain to you what I didn't even understand. "We will be missed soon if we don't get back." I didn't agree to see you again, but I didn't tell you no, either. I cracked the door open and looked down the hall. With the coast clear, I went back to join the others.