0 comments/ 13480 views/ 0 favorites Weekly Sessions By: budnging She had come to me from a recommendation of a colleague. I had a full patient load, nothing too exciting really. A mix of bi-polar, manic-depressives and one obsessive compulsive. This one though, this one was so very, very different. I had only agreed to the meeting to be courteous. She arrived at five, my last patient. My secretary Sara buzzed me, to let me know she was here. Lauren stepped into the room, and I instantly felt my heart skip. She was wearing a long dress, a deep blood red and black. I know nothing about fabrics, just that this was dark, a swirling pattern. She had on far too much jewelry, so much that it worked. I saw that each finger had a ring. Multiple bracelets on each slim wrist. My mind jumped at obsessive compulsive- that would be the mark here. The makeup so perfect, the hair swept back except for the ringlets she dangled on each side. The effect was breathtaking and carefully calculated. I could not see the shoes. Only razor sharp tips, black like the dress. She settled back into the chair, my hand weak from the grip she gave when we shook hands. She looked around my office, eyes appraising the contents. She stopped at the Tamara De Lempicka, then the Alma Tadema, Rosetti. I saw her lips curl into either a smile or sneer. I could not tell. She swept over the bookcases, the historical figures in the glass case, painted by me. She said nothing, staring with dark intensity. I could tell I was being snap judged also, the realization focusing me back to the task of getting her to talk, to tell me why she was here. We made small talk, her medical history, family. She had a deep lyrical laugh. She told me that therapy was not her idea, but her husbands. He felt that she had become too aggressive, was not herself. She laughed as she told me. I felt myself hanging on her every word, much more than most patients, I'm ashamed to admit. I blushed when she caught me staring at her mouth as she formed words, wondering what she tasted like. We agreed to a weekly schedule, Fridays, my last appointment. I went home and could not get her out of my head. I realized when she left that I had been hard since she walked in. I had nothing to base this arousal on; I had met more attractive women, had been to bed with them. This was different, the way she studied me, sized me up was thrilling. I wondered what she thought of me, my mind drifting to what she looked like under those clothes. Like a teenager I went to my bedroom, slipping down my pants, jacking off quickly, the semen sticking to my stomach. I dressed before my wife got home, sheets changed to avoid any questions. Weeks went by, I learned of her past, the wanton sexuality. She spun tales that would have made DeSade blush crimson. She dressed more provocatively each time we met, her stories more detailed. I was not sure what was true, what was her fantasy life. My hands shook sometimes as she told me of nights prowling the streets, picking up men, fucking them, leaving to find another, the sperm still hot in her as another man slipped in. She told me that she loved that feeling, one mans semen lubing her as she took another in. They always told that she was so hot, so 'wet'. Lauren told me that she had to stop herself from laughing, giving her secret away. She said she always agreed, told them how good they were, blah blah, blah....lies whispered to shut them up. My hands tried to write as she crossed and uncrossed her legs deliberately. I had a clear view, right to her center. I thought the lips called to me, parted and wet. I could hear them, then I truly felt like I was losing my grip, that I was going to need my own therapist. Now every session ended with a locked door, fisting my erection till I was spent, no longer able to wait till I got home. If Sara knocked, I practically screamed to just answer the phone, leave me be. I know she knew what I was doing. I stopped caring. Each week the stories became more vivid, details spilling onto detail as she teased me. I knew she was pushing me, wanting to see just how far she could go in driving me mad. The scenes now included women, threesomes with me and her, secretive musings about Sara, questions about my wife. She said that she had been with a few women, had played with them but preferred men, their weight, smell, cocks. She said that when she wanted another threesome now, two men filling her. She teased me asking about my sex life, what I wanted, had I fucked Sara? She said she could talk to her, set the three of us up. It was hard to steer her back, the image of her and Sara playing with me was fogging my brain. She left each session laughing at me, a bemused smile at my white knuckled grip on my pad. Friday arrived again, months later now. I was so eager, in thrall. I was no longer a therapist. I was her scribe, recording the details of her debauchery. She arrived early again, as was her pattern. Sara eyed me with that same suspicious gleam she had been throwing me each week as I ushered Lauren in. As before she was dressed to excite me. This time it was the miniskirt and a sleeveless turtleneck that accented her tits. She pulled her chair closer this time, I could feel her breath. I could not look at her, stared at my notepad as she started. "Do you want to know what I did last night?" she asked. "Of course.... please" I creaked out. My eyes never looked up, afraid of what would stare back. "I went by your home Doctor. I saw where you live. Nice place. I had a man with me. I have no idea what his name was, he thought mine was Sheila. We fucked on your lawn Doctor. I rode him right there. God it was so nasty! He had a nice big one, it went so deep. You like hearing this? How I fucked on your nice green grass?" she asked eyes locking on mine as I looked up, startled. "Yes" I finally managed; my mind was doing somersaults, picturing her. I imagined standing at the window, watching as I stroked myself. God I wanted her, all of her. "He turned me around, doggy style, slapping my ass as he drove into me. I told him you were my ex. That it was a grudge thing against you. Hell, he was drunk and horny; he would have fucked me on his mom's yard at that point. Well Doc, I fucked him, then sucked him off when he came, drank all that come down, felt it slide to my belly, warm, sticky..." she said, hands now sliding up my legs. I felt her grip my erection, heard a deep moan, realized it was mine. "I want you, no more talk. I know you want me, that you're hard now. I bet you jack off right after I leave don't you? You dream about me like I have you, nights when I fucked them, thinking of you" she said, her face inches from mine. Her breath seemed hotter than a normal person, sweet like cinnamon. I was motionless, unable to form words. I had pictured her doing this in my mind, never thought they would happen. Lauren stood, unbuttoning her shirt slowly. I watched her shrug it off, falling down her arms. Her bra was white, the lace pattern delicate and expensive. She reached into her bra, pulled her breast up, pulled my head to her nipple. I suckled like a newborn; sounds coming from me that were new, primal. I reached for her; she backed up quickly, a stinging slap on my cheek bringing me to focus. "What… I ... sorry..." I managed to get out before she silenced me with a finger on my lips, her faced a crooked sneer, then she kissed me her tongue kicking in my mouth. Completely confused now she stepped back again, skirt gone, puddled at her feet. She had on a garter belt, white, her hose matching. She settled back into her chair, only now her legs were over the chair arms. I watched her slide her right hand down, brush her lips, her clitoris, so delicately, then stop. She placed both hands under her knees, drawing herself open and legs back. I was mesmerized by her cunt lips. They parted open, the fluid now shiny and obvious. As she strained to open her legs even farther, I saw the chair staining from the wetness, realized that my shirt was wet, a line of drool coming from my mouth unnoticed by me. I went to her on my knees, her eyes on me, no words but her command clear. I sniffed her, that dark musk that is a woman. I felt myself getting harder, the wool of my pants itching against the throbbing in my shaft. I leaned in, trying to delay our pleasure, lost completely as I drank her in. I plastered my face to her lips, sucking deep, hard. I licked fast, as hard as I could. My hands held her open now, fingers under her knees, opening her wide. My mouth and lips sizzled as I waggled my head, fucking her with my face, pushing against her. I raked my fingers down, sliding two of them into her. I sucked her clitoris, felt her tremble; call out as she came, legs shaking. I curled my fingers up, touching those rough pads, felt the swelling fluid. I pumped them, another finger added. My lips still glued to her clit, hand racing in her. I felt the swelling, the trembling as she started to lose control, no longer forming words other than 'fuck, FUCK ...FFFUUUUCCCCCKKK!!!!!!!!' as she peaked. I pulled my head back, waiting. The dam finally burst, the streams of fluids hitting my face, soaking me. I opened my mouth again, it filled quickly. I drank greedily. Still I fucked her with my hand, orgasm after orgasm rippling, till she grabbed my wrist, stopping me. She lay there, so open for me, exhausted. I stripped, finally free of clothes. I did not care about ethics, or her mind. I wanted her body. I wanted to be one of her stories that she hissed to another man as he fucked her. I straddled the chair, grabbed her head. I pulled her mouth to me. I had heard her stories of sucking countless cock after cock, how she wanted to be fucked like that, rough, used by men. I pushed it till I heard her breath kick out in a cough, spittle running down her chin as her eyes teared up. Still no words from her, just a look in her eyes of raw need, daring me to go on. I pushed in again, slipping into her throat, her hands on my ass, pulling me in making me go deeper. Again I heard the cough, but held her, choking her with my prick. Then I pulled back, the saliva now running freely down her face, makeup now a mess. "God YES, do it, c'mon fucker, DO IT," she heaved at me, hands pulling me, stroking my shaft. " You wanted this didn't you? I knew it the first time you looked at me" she stopped talking when I pushed the head in again, only gurgled around me as she laughed and tongued, sucking me till I screamed her name out. Her head dipped down, laving my balls wetly, the licking sounds an obscene chorus as she kept up the talking till she pushed me higher, tongue stabbing at my anus. She pushed me roughly then, down to the floor. I started to lay back; she stopped me again, rolling me till I was on my hands and knees, her hands pawing my ass, my cock from behind. I felt that wet tongue again, lewdly circling my ass, heard then felt the spit hit me, her finger pushing against me... I almost shot off right then, but felt her squeeze me, cutting the semen off. Her finger replaced her tongue, going slow, steady, till I felt her knuckle. She withdrew, added a second finger, sliding in and out as I wanted to do to her. I turned then, grabbing her and pushing her back, no longer wanting to please her, just wanting to be in that wetness, to come. I pulled her legs up roughly, placed them on my shoulders, pinning her. My hands held her wrists a she was bent double this way. My hips pumped fast, hard, needing release. I finally cried out, shooting shot after shot of come into her, holding her immobile. I slipped out, cock not really soft, just not as hard. Lauren lay there, mouth open, tongue licking the air as she pulled her nipples. I dipped my fingers into her, felt my come, pulled white fingers out. She took them gladly, holding my wrist. She sucked them like a child eats ice cream, the whorish delight causing me to blink, the room still spinning. She guided my hand back into her, wanting more. She crawled to my cock sucking down the last drops. She finally was satisfied that there was no more laying back to swirl her fingers over her clit again, hips pumping up at the air. I knew I could never, ever keep up with her. I think I passed out, blacked out, what's the difference? I felt a hand on me, tapping my cheek. I looked up and my secretary Sara was over me, a smirk on her face. I was still naked, my clothes piled where they had fallen. She turned and left, her hips swaying a little more than normal, one last glance back at me with that same smarmy grin. "I'm leaving, you better get dressed, you have play tickets tonight. I suggest you put on a tie!" Weekly Sessions Weekly Sessions Helping a couple move into a new lifestyle Week 1 "So you both had affairs? Did you believe that they would cancel each other out and leave your marriage unaffected?" I posed the question with no inflection in my voice that would represent a judgment to the couple sitting opposite my chair. I aimed for curiosity, not judgment. I was trying to get them to talk about their relationship and the issues that had brought them to my counseling office. The couple sat in two separate chairs so we formed a loose triangle of sorts. The two of them were several feet apart, about as far apart as they could be and still be in our three-way conversation. They studiously had both avoided the more relaxed and cozier sofa when they came in because they would have had to sit close together. Both were nervous and avoided looking at the other. We'd spent several minutes where Lisa and Brad introduced themselves to me, and I to them. They'd each talked about their education and current jobs. They'd been recommended to my family counseling practice by Mike Davis, a previous patient who I counseled along with his wife Jan as they formed an open marriage and weathered the attendant stresses when they started on that path. Brad and Lisa had come at their marriage problems from different directions, and now they were struggling with an approaching split. Lisa spoke first in response to my first tough question for them, "I don't think we thought about a tit-for-tat. I sort of knew that Brad was doing something, and I guessed that it was with our friend Sarah - actually, she's my best friend ... or she was. Since they started fucking, I haven't talked to her." There was an obvious bitter tone to Lisa's voice, and I felt her use of the 'f' word displayed her anger. I asked in your curious tone again, "And then you got ... involved, so to speak? Was that justified because of Brad spending time with Sarah?" "Yes, with our neighbor Mike. He kept flirting and paying more and more attention to me. I liked it and just naturally responded to him. I never thought of it as a revenge fuck. Mike was so pleasant and suave. When we started to see each other it just felt so natural and comfortable." I thought that Lisa kept using the word 'fuck' for shock value with her husband. Every time she said the word, Brad would twitch slightly. I almost had to laugh at how textbook this couple appeared to be. Brad finally spoke up with bitterness in his voice, "Yeah, you responded by getting into bed with him. I thought you'd been doing that for the past year." Lisa turned to her husband and said in a caustic tone, "Only the past six months. I'm sorry. He ... well, he filled a void in me that you weren't. I'd already guessed that you were already fucking Sarah." I held my hand up in a 'stop' gesture because the couple seemed on the verge of an altercation, not something I wanted to happen in our first counseling session. The tone was bitter. "Just for a few minutes, I'd like you to both suspend judgment about what happened in the past, right up to when you walked into this office. Try to temporarily accept what has happened with curiosity but not judgment or rancor, if that helps. Now, I'd like each of you to tell me where you would like your marriage to go from here? Do you want to remain married? Is counseling a lost cause, but you both feel you need to pretend to go through it for some reason? Are you willing to work to save what you've invested in each other?" Brad spoke immediately but with controlled anger in his tone, "I want to remain married to Lisa. I'm still in love with her, but I don't know whether she loves me. We haven't used the 'L' word in months ... And, I hope this counseling can put us on a different track and heal what we've both done to the other." He folded his arms across his chest, as though to say 'So there!' I turned to Lisa, and she spoke hesitantly and more thoughtfully, "I ... I want to get back to loving Brad. The spark is still there, but honestly ... I don't know. I got taken for granted or ignored for too long - years, and so I started to find solace with another man. I'm willing to put in the effort around this counseling, but only if we start to see some progress. If things don't change ... well, I won't see any reason to continue." Brad spoke up, "You hooked up with a married man. At least Sarah is single." Lisa blushed, "Yes. I don't know what his wife knows about us - me? Mike told me they had an open marriage, and I never questioned that statement; otherwise, I ... might have been more cautious. I never talked to Jan to verify what he said. Before all this started, we'd seen them socially a few times. Suddenly, I feel guilty for not being sure about her." Brad started to talk, but I made a subtle gesture, and he paused. I asked Lisa, "Please continue. What about the future?" "I'd hope we could go back to what it was like the first year we were married - only better than that in many ways. We were so in love, and we were like rabbits, making love all the time, and we paid exceptional attention to each other. I felt so loved and special. We'd both do little things for each other - gifts, special acts of love, loving touches like a surprise massage - in the nude, or we'd just sit and talk together for hours whenever we could. One time I remember we took sandwiches and a bottle of wine down to the lake to have dinner; we built a fire at the edge of the water and practically stayed all night, just talking to each other about the things that were important to us, and what we hoped for out of life. We couldn't get enough of each other." Brad softened and said, "Yes that was a special time in our lives. I loved it too." I gestured to Lisa, "What about Mike?" I tried to pose the question in as neutral a way as I could. I was curious how Lisa would respond. Lisa balked before she realized she'd given a visible knee-jerk response to my question; "Oh, ... I don't know. I hadn't thought about that. I guess I'd like to remain friends with him in some way ... and with Jan too. They're a nice couple. I'm ... I just don't know what ..." She shook her head with indecision. I turned to Brad, "What about you and Sarah in the future?" Brad blushed, "She's the one that urged me to come to counseling when I told her Lisa suggested it. We've gotten serious the past couple of months. She's recently divorced and probably is not looking to repeat anything like a real deep relationship in the near future, plus she's adamant that she doesn't want to be the cause of our breakup. She also wants to be sure that our seeing each other doesn't mess up our counseling too badly. She even said she'd come in and talk to you if that would help for any reason. As for the future, well, I guess that like Lisa with Mike, I'd hope we could be friends. I confess to really liking her - with or without the sex." Lisa looked surprised at Brad's statement. "And your relationship with Lisa?" I posited. Brad thoughtfully said, "Yeah, I'd like that to go back ten years too. That first year we were married was fun. It was as though we didn't have a care in the world, and we could just dote on each other. But then, over time, I think we both took each other for granted, and we got wrapped up in our jobs and the house and making money to pay for our toys. I have a never-ending list of things to do on the house." I asked, "Do you have money problems?" Brad shook his head, "I'm not sure how to answer that. We have a lot of credit card debt, plus the mortgage and car payments on two cars. We also have a home equity loan. Most months it's tough to be able to pay off everything. Coming to see you - to afford you - was a big move for both of us, but we agreed that it's important." I nodded, not sure how to respond to that. I asked, "Did you argue about money?" Lisa jumped in, "Yes, we did, all the time. We have different priorities, but we've been coming together more and more on what they are. We want to get out of debt." I raised an eyebrow to pose a question. Brad said, "I had been thinking longer term - building-up equity in the house, protecting the few assets we have; Lisa was more short-term oriented - wanted to spend any surplus right then, or even take on a little debt to do something fun or get a coveted toy. That said, I'm easily convinced to get my own toys too." "What are the 'toys' you refer to?" Lisa and Brad both laughed. Brad blushed, "Mine include a motorcycle, ATV, deluxe ride-around lawnmower, snowmobiles, and a small boat, to name a few of the large ticket items." Lisa added, "That's unfair to Brad because all those 'toys' sound so male. I have my expensive hobbies too: photography with only the best equipment, horseback riding, golf at a club I wanted to belong to, making jewelry, and ... well, I just started taking flying lessons, but I'm not going to renew the club membership." I just nodded and again tried not to show any judgment about how overboard I thought both of them sounded with their hobbies, assuming they were all ongoing. I noticed how Lisa had moved to defend her husband. "Are your jobs secure?" Brad nodded, "Yes, thank God. I'm in technical sales and have been getting ahead in my company. The company is growing. Lisa is ..." Lisa interrupted, "I'm in marketing for a small ad agency downtown. This year things have been going really well, so I'm feeling good about things. I'll get a nice bonus ... that'll help payoff the credit cards." I paused and studied my notepad where I'd taken notes when they introduced themselves. I started to edge back to the gorilla in the room. "You're living apart now, is that correct?" Brad nodded. "I took a room with a single friend - a guy who's away for three months on assignment, but I check in on the house and to get clothing, mow the grass, and other stuff all the time. I try not to bug Lisa when I do. We've only been apart for two weeks." Lisa just nodded to confirm the fact. I could sense the distance they'd put between themselves. I checked the clock on the wall, placed so it would be obvious to my patients. I had explained when we started our session not only that we would end the session after fifty minutes, but also my overall philosophy about couples therapy. I suggested, "I would like to meet individually with each of you for an hour next week. I want to explore with each of you the roots and motivations for your marriage, your work, your affairs, and how you'll deal with them eventually. Can you both think about that before we meet?" Brad nodded. Lisa said, "Yes, I'll be glad to share that with you." Week 2 Brad sat opposite me in the chair, obviously more relaxed than he'd been the week before when Lisa was present. I started the session with a simple statement: "Tell me about Sarah." Brad rambled around, "I knew Sarah through Lisa; they were friends. Things started to happen after I'd meet Sarah a few times at the Starbucks next to my office. I was in there almost every day, and she'd be there also because the place was near her job too. At first, we just waved hello to each other, but then I took the initiative one-day and talked to her. I felt like a clod because I thought she was so sophisticated, but she was friendly and put me at ease. We ended up talking all morning that day, and finished knowing a lot about each other. I didn't mention Lisa too much, but we acknowledged our relationship and her friendship with my wife." "How did you portray your marriage?" "I probably said we were going through a rocky period and not much else. Sarah didn't respond either way that day, and we moved on to other topics." "How did things get ... more serious?" "One morning I met Sarah for our morning cup of coffee, and I could tell she'd been crying. Her eyes were red and her makeup was streaked. I pushed a little, and she confided that she and her exhusband had a bad argument. She was sad that the guy she'd loved had moved on and left her in the dust, even humiliated her with rude comments after they decided to cool things down." Brad paused and then went on, "That day, Lisa had told me she would be late getting home from some late client dinner, so I was on my own for dinner. I asked Sarah out for drinks and dinner. She accepted immediately, and we made arrangements to meet." Brad paused and looked at me, I think to judge how much to reveal to me at this point in our session. He continued, "We met after work when I picked her up at her condo. She kissed me at the door, and it was like a jolt of electricity for each of us. If I weren't in love before, I was then. We went out to dinner, and we flirted incessantly over the meal. We'd done a little of that over coffee, but this was at a whole new level. Reflecting back, we were really out to seduce one another." He paused and added, "The seductions worked. After dinner we went back to her place for a nightcap, so to speak. The night cap was a lot of sex?" I asked, "Foreplay?" Brad chuckled, "A lot of it. We made out for an hour with our hands all over each other, teasing in a sexual way. I gradually got into her blouse and under her bra so I could suck on her beautiful tits, and she went wild with desire and passion. I couldn't remember the last time ... err, Lisa had responded that way to me." After a pause Brad went on, "Suddenly, my pants were around my knees and Sarah was giving me a blowjob - something else I couldn't remember in the recent past. We shifted around, and soon I had a finger inside her pussy. The next I knew we were naked and Sarah had straddled my hips on her sofa. She lowered herself onto me, as I held my erection up for her. I was harder than steel. We slid together so easily; I just thought it was meant to be. We made love twice, and then I went home. Although it was late, I still got home before Lisa." "How did you feel?" "Guilty, you mean? Not at all, I felt on Cloud Nine. I felt loved and needed by someone again. I tried to think logically about the situation, for instance, telling myself that I was feeling New Relationship Energy, and that our apparent honeymoon phase would eventually pass and that we'd see each other's faults and part ways. I knew I was amplifying Lisa's faults and my worries about her having an affair, and I also knew I was partly using that as justification for my actions." "May I inquire how you knew about Lisa's affair?" "Sure. We'd seen Jan and Mike about once every month or two for a cookout or dinner, or even just drinks on the back deck when the weather was good. Lisa and Mike had started to make 'ga-ga' eyes at each other one time, and then I noticed they had their own little private jokes together. I knew for sure one night after I got home on the late side. When I went to take my shower, I happened to see Lisa's undies on top of the laundry; the crotch was covered in cum. I was shocked, but decided to hide it instead of confronting her. I'm not sure why I responded that way. I found her playing around arousing." "You're a cuckold?" "In a way. I didn't end up with my cock in a cage, or having to eat Mike's cum from Lisa's pussy, but I did turn a blind eye to what was going on. For a long time, I was sure that Lisa didn't know that I knew. Occasionally, Lisa would excuse herself to go over to his house for an hour or so when Jan was away. She'd have some good excuse about planning something on the weekend, or a surprise for Jan, or something. The excuses were lame, but I let them go by unchallenged. I realize I wanted her to go and fuck him. Sometimes, I'd jerk off while she was over there just thinking about what they were doing." "Why?" "I found the idea of another man fucking my wife erotic and arousing. I wasn't facilitating the affair except by feigning ignorance of what was going on. I found drippy underwear sometimes after that, so I was sure I was right. Lisa also started to talk about Mike and Jan's open marriage, as though we should do something like that. I'm guessing she was feeling a little guilty. I guess because I was silently complicit, we did have an open marriage." I said, "You used the term 'fuck' between Lisa and Mike, and 'make love' between you and Sarah. Would you care to comment on that distinction?" Brad thought, "I guess I didn't want Lisa falling out of love with me, and in love with Mike. Deep down I was worried she might leave me for him. I have my insecurities and jealousies. As for Sarah, I was in puppy love with her from the start. The sex was a beautiful addition to our relationship at that point." ." Brad continued, "Based on what Lisa said last week, she seems to be 'in love' with Mike now. I sensed she doesn't want that to end. I can't say I blame her, he's a man's man - handsome, seems to have his act together, and oozes sex appeal." He thought a minute and added, "Yeah, you're probably right. What's the adage about affairs, men do it for sex, and women do it for love." I was silent to see what Brad would say next. Brad continued, "I was not a good husband. I neglected Lisa. When we got married I was all over her and couldn't do enough for her, but then I got selfish - I admit it. I wanted her only when I wanted her. I started to focus on my career, and that resulted in long hours, work over the weekends, late nights, and so forth. When I wasn't working I played hard with the toys we told you about last week, or working on the house. I guess because it was always available sex became an afterthought." Brad sighed, "Lisa complained at first, but then just gave up on me - on us. She became fiercely independent, developed her own circle of friends and hobbies, and just did her own thing. Occasionally we'd find ourselves available to each other. We'd maybe go out with others, but it was as though we were hiding from being alone together. Yes, we'd have sex, but even that got to be few and far between, particularly since for the past months we both had Sarah and Mike." I asked, "Do you feel you need to do something to change that situation?" Brad was blunt and answered instantly, "Yes. Hell, yes. I thought a lot about Lisa after last week's session with you. I want to stay married to her, but I want to try to be the husband she wants and needs. I was a shit for most of the past decade. I want to change that. I guess I need to start over again with her - date her, romance her, and fall in love again, if she'll have me. Last night I even dreamed that we had a recommitment ceremony. If I could work it, I'd do that and more." I posed, "How will you feel about her infidelity?" Brad sat back in his chair, obviously challenged to respond. "That'll be hard, and I'm not sure. I can forgive her, but not forget what happened. It doesn't matter who went first; we were both unfaithful to our marriage. Somehow we have to start over." I again held my tongue to see where Brad took the topic. "Lisa said last week she still wants a relationship with Mike. I'm not sure I could handle that if other things don't change, like how she acts towards me. I'll have to think more about that. I guess if I love her enough I'd want her to find happiness in any way that she could, even if it were occasionally in the arms of another lover." I made a mental note to explore that same topic with Lisa the following day when she had her appointment with me. We chatted some more around the same topics, and then our session ended. Weekly Sessions Lisa sat back and relaxed a little. I posed the question, "What have you thought about over the past week, anything interesting?" I chuckled to myself at how neutral that question was. She nodded. "I saw Mike twice over past week, but Brad and I didn't connect at all. I know he came by the house a couple of times. He left little notes on the back of his business cards that he'd been there." "And how did you feel about those encounters?" "Well, I missed Brad. I guess I made up for it by bugging Mike to see me again yesterday. I asked him more about his open marriage too. He told me again about that. I felt kind of strange knowing that his wife Jan was home alone while we made love. I ... well, I doubt I'd want to be in her shoes." "What do you suppose that feels like?" "Mike told me she urged him to come to my arms and give me a satisfying evening. Through him, she even sent her love. I haven't seen her in a few months; she's very nice - cute even." I think Lisa forgot that Mike was the person who had recommended my services to Brad and her. "How will that relationship impact your marriage in the future?" "Oh, God. I knew you'd ask that question, and I've been thinking about it all week." She paused, and made eye contact; "I don't know for sure. Brad won't like being left alone at home the way Jan tolerates. He'd pout for sure, and it might force things apart ultimately." "Is that what you want?" "NO!" she cried. "I want to be married to Brad." "To have your cake and eat it too?" I teased in an obvious aside. "I guess so." Lisa smiled at me. "How would you like Brad to respond?" Lisa spoke slowly, "I'd want him to send me off the way Jan did Mike; to say 'Go to Mike and have a fabulous evening with him.' To tell me, 'Go fuck his brains out, but come home horny.' I want him to wait for me and be mildly jealous - just enough so that he paid me a lot more attention when I got home. I'd want him to compete for me ... to woo me and want to be my lover again. I want him to get motivated to spend more time with me, and to not bring the office home with him at night or over the weekends." "Do you feel guilty about your relationship with Mike?" "Yeah, a little. I didn't think I would at the start, but I am now because it's driven Brad away ... but then he also took himself away because of how he felt about Sarah, and that made me mad at him too." After a pause she said, "We really put this marriage in a death spiral, didn't we?" "Is it too late?" "No, I don't think so, but we do have to start over." "What does that entail?" "I guess we need to date and fall in love again. I'm willing to try." "Would you like me to encourage Brad to do that with you? To ask you out on a date?" "Oh, yes, absolutely. He'll be shy, and probably be a little pissed at me, but could you?" "I will call him before next week's session and suggest just that." "Thank you." I asked, "If you fall in love again with Brad, what will happen to your relationship with Mike?" "I want to love both of them. I'm sure I can, because I'm almost there now." I gave her time to think. Lisa went on after a minute, "We do people a disservice by allowing them to only love one person in the name of exclusivity and monogamy. I know I could love Brad and Mike, and probably others at the same time. My heart would grow, and I would feel so good about it all. I wasn't born with a limited reservoir of love to dole out so that if I gave it to one person, another person would have to suffer that they didn't get it. I have an infinite supply; we all do. It would have to be in the open; however." I asked, "Does any part of that seem idealistic to you?" Lisa laughed for the first time in this session. "Yes, all of it, but I still feel that way. I think we're brainwashed by society into thinking that monogamy is the sacred end all of a relationship. That's bullshit, pardon me. If we did it openly, Brad could love me and keep Sarah in his life. I'd have Mike. Maybe Brad and I could both love Jan, or whomever. Sure, we'd have our disagreements and petty arguments, but none of them would be deal-breaking, just like a normal relationship." "Lisa, what about Brad's infidelity?" "Part of me wants to say, 'Right, what about it?' No big deal. We both made our affairs a big deal because they became substitutes for what we weren't getting in our marriage and didn't want to fight to get. We were both in denial, and did what we needed to do for ourselves. We should have sat down and talked, and maybe reached the same result, but at least we wouldn't have been pretending the other didn't know what was going on. We were lousy at communicating. We never let the other know how bad things were getting or what our ideas were to fix it." "And that would be different now?" "I'm willing to make that the new rule if we both behave that way: no more secret lives." "How will your own behavior and acts have to change in the future?" Lisa sighed, "I will go back to trying to work this out with Brad - we'll negotiate more. We'll talk more. I will flirt more with him and be more receptive to our lovemaking. I'll even take the initiative. I'll make myself available for dates, and even suggest them. I'll make sure that Brad knows I'm thinking of him, and that I want to be married to him - that I love him. I do, you know." "If you continue with Mike, Brad may think of himself as a cuckold. What do you think about that?" "I ... I don't want to humiliate Brad in any way. I wouldn't tease him about it either. Based on what he said, he is aroused knowing I've been fucking Mike, but I wouldn't lord that over him. I'd use that arousal for our own good. I hope he'd see that?" She paused and added, "I guess you can tell that I don't want to stop seeing Mike." I nodded. "What do you think the adverse effects of that might be?" Lisa thought. "Jealousy in all its many facets for one, and that could get bad if I don't manage it with him and with myself. I guess there'd be awkward situations once in a while, for instance if I were out with Mike and someone we knew saw us and Brad wasn't there." I posed, "Say more about jealousy." "Well, Brad could easily get jealous of my time and affection for Mike. How severe that got would probably determine the course of both relationships. I'd hope not to get into a situation where I had to choose one over the other. I got jealous of Sarah when I thought about her; she is beautiful and single. I had visions of Brad running away with her, but he kept coming home." "How would you cope?" "Boundaries. We'd have to set boundaries and talk about them a lot. How much, how often, and all that. We'd have to pledge to watch for warning signs that we were leaning too far to our lovers and not enough to each other. We'd have to talk about why that was happening too. We'd be having some ugly and dark discussions occasionally, but if we could get through them, I think it would make us stronger." We explored some more around the day's topics, and then our time was up. Weekly Sessions Brad said, "I thought people were so absolute about trust." I said, "You can be that way if you want. I liked the way you said it a moment ago; you trust your partner to stick by your contract and the boundaries you agree upon." Lisa said in a philosophical way, "Or we could have boundaries that are a little vague, and then be tolerant, and deal with situations as they came along - be happy or sad, based on how we think. Therefore, I shouldn't feel that a trust has been violated." Brad said, "Situational ethics." I gave them a hypothetical situation. "You said you were seeing Mike and Jan this weekend. How does that make you feel?" Both said happy, glad to have friends, and pleased about getting together again. I went on, "So Brad, how would you feel if midway through the evening, Lisa and Mike excused themselves and went up to his bedroom to make love for an hour." Brad blanched. "Errr, awkward. I'd wonder how Jan felt. I'd feel a mix of happy and sad, aroused and rejected, excited and jealous. I can't put a single word answer on that situation. You just scrambled my brain. Somehow, I've separated what Mike and Lisa have done from the being our friends and seeing them on Saturday." Lisa said softly, "We should talk more about that on our next date because exactly that might happen - at least, I could imagine Mike making that offer." Brad swirled around and looked at Lisa. "Oh." I asked Lisa, "What would Jan do?" She shrugged. "I don't know. I've never been in this situation before. Mike assured me about their open marriage, but I don't know what that looks like in practice when we're in their living room, and something starts to happen." I suggested, "When you two talk, please speculate about that situation more. Consider the options and the various feelings you would both have. I recommend you have this conversation in detail before you see your friends, and that you review the boundaries and expectations you have for that evening." After a long silence I redirected the discussion again. "I wanted to come back to our brief chat about your financials. I want to get you talking about some boundaries about spending money, debt, and budgeting." The discussion took off from there for the rest of our hour, and we parted having many open issues for them to consider or for us to talk about next time. Week 5 I started this week's session with my more generic start; "Why don't one of you set the topic for the next hour, or if you have something you want to share with me please do." Brad and Lisa looked at each other, and they both blushed. Lisa began somewhat hesitantly, "It's been a busy week I think, but we've moved a long distance in our relationship." Brad said in a low tone, "I moved back home at the beginning of the week, so we're living together again." Lisa added, "And we're ... romantic again too. I mean we make love." Brad urged Lisa, "Tell Dr. Cole about Saturday." I detected a forced neutral tone to his voice. Lisa took hold of Brad's hand after his suggestion. It was the first time they'd sat on the sofa together, a more than symbolic move about their partnership. She said, "Well, we spent several hours on Saturday talking about what might happen that night with Mike and Jan. We ran all sorts of scenarios and talked about our boundaries, and reactions and emotions." Brad interjected, "I encouraged her to go off with Mike if the opportunity presented itself. I already knew they'd been intimate, so what was another time. I wanted to see how I felt - how we felt - afterwards." Lisa said, "So we had dinner with Mike and Jan, and then ... well, Mike just sort of pulled me away at one point and we went upstairs to their guest room and made love for ninety minutes. Actually, we made love twice, and Mike ate me to a half dozen other orgasms during that time too. He loves to eat pussy, and I think he's good at it. Oh, Brad's even better, but ... well ..." I resisted saying anything, but I was enjoying the recounting. I actually chortled at her embarrassment, but generally we'd moved beyond that. Brad said, "After Mike and Lisa went upstairs, I had no idea what to do. I helped Jan clear the dining room table, and our conversation was functional, you know, 'Would you get the butter dish? I'll bring the plates from this side of the table.' We stacked the dishwasher and put leftovers away, and made the kitchen spotless. I was nervous so I started to clean everything in sight." Brad chuckled, "Jan eventually stopped me. We'd been at it for over twenty minutes. She backed me up against one of the counters and kissed me. I was speechless. She said, 'Brad, relax. It's OK what Mike and Lisa are doing, and I encourage it. I know that you know we have an open marriage; this is one way it plays out." Brad said, "I was holding onto Jan's hips and she was right in front of me. I felt some real chemistry with her, but I wasn't ready to do anything serious with her. My head was all messed up thinking that my wife was upstairs fucking her husband, and we had just finished the dishes - how mundane given what else was happening." I speculated to Brad, "Do you suppose Jan knew how you were feeling?" "Oh, I'm certain of it. She described exactly my crazy state of mind to me, and I agreed. And then, she kissed me some more and we got into it, moving from kisses to deep French kisses that really connected us on many levels. We talked about those connections. We just stood there in the kitchen making out. The more we did, the more fabulous that I thought the experience." "Jan eventually pulled me into the living room, and we sat on the sofa with Jan in my lap. She's small - I even call her my Pixie friend sometimes. Well, the Pixie and I made out, but we also talked about open relationships and how they work. Jan talked a lot about jealousy and a term I hadn't heard before called 'compersion' - sort of the opposite of jealousy. Even as we talked she had me feeling her breasts." Brad continued, "Jan told me how she felt about Lisa and Mike fucking upstairs. She wanted both of them to fall in love and connect in mind, body, and spirit on many different levels. She wanted both of them to feel not only the joy of the physical connection, but also not be burdened by guilt about being away from the two of us while they made love, and thus enjoy the higher plane aspects of their coupling. She pointed out how useless jealousy was, and how much of it was a learned emotional response to certain situations dealing with lack, or fear about an undesirable result such as separation." I commented, "You already knew some of that pain." Brad said, "Yes, and Jan built on that. She asked me whether my separation from Lisa had been that bad. I told her yes and no, talking about the parts that were bad first. Jan linked what I'd been feeling to jealousy, and then one by one she linked each of the bad things I'd been feeling to jealousy. It was as though she could blow each concern to smithereens and make them go away. I ended up feeling a lot better about Lisa, her relationship with Mike, my relationship with Sarah, and my new relationship and making out with Jan." Brad's voice sounded more upbeat as he talked. Lisa said, "When Mike and I came back downstairs, we caught Jan and Brad really making out. He had her top off and was sucking and teasing her breasts and nipples. Jan really looked happy, but Brad looked as though he'd been caught red-handed, so to speak." She laughed. "Jan got up and went to Mike, and planted a lot of kisses on him. Brad came to me, and we kissed to. I thought it would be awkward, but he seemed to be really relaxed about the past couple of hours when I'd been fucking Mike." Brad said, "I was. Somehow, based on talking with Jan, Lisa wrapping her pussy around in a caring way as Mike thrust his cock into her didn't seem that big a deal, even if they were falling deeper in love. Lisa had assured me that she loved me - that I was her primary relationship, and I fell back on those words and trusted that she meant what she said." I muttered, "Trust again." Lisa said, "We talked about trust. We both promised that we wouldn't say things we didn't mean. So when I assure Brad that I love him, I mean it with all my heart. I'm not going to lie to him, or tell him things I think he wants to hear." Brad volunteered, "Lisa told me several times since we last met how important Mike is to her and how she loves him - and Jan. Based on what she said, I know it's not just the sex. She feels a resonance with them that is rare. In my own thinking, I've come to realize that I can't be everything to Lisa that she wants or needs. Mike can apparently fill many of those voids, and I'm glad that he can make her more satisfied and happy." I asked, "How do you feel about Mike and Jan as a couple?" Brad responded, "I feel closer to them now than before. I see how much Mike and Lisa care for each other, and I support Lisa in that. I also see how Jan and Mike love each other, and I got vibes from Jan that she wanted me too. If we'd had longer to get acquainted we could have made love. I feel flattered and honored about how we feel about each other." Lisa said to her husband, "Jan does want to make love to you. She told me." Brad just nodded at her comment. Brad said, "If I could change the subject slightly, I also saw Sarah on Tuesday over a long lunch hour. After we talked for two hours and I told her what was going on, and how things were changing, we went back to her apartment and made love." Lisa chuckled, "He came home that night all horny and eager to fuck me too, but he was also feeling guilty. Sarah had left him all turned on, and I got some collateral benefit from their afternoon rendezvous. I don't know how often they did it, but that evening Brad took me twice - both times in the living room where we hadn't made love in years. I think my knowing about it and emphasizing that I sanctioned their alone time helped assuage Brad's guilt." I smiled, "Spontaneous combustion?" Brad snorted, "It did seem like that. Having open sex with two women the same day was an ego trip I hate to admit to you. I got off on it. Sarah and I agreed to get together so long as it's not upsetting Lisa. We like each other, and this time formalized our friends-with-benefits status. Sarah had a lot of love for Lisa; she doesn't want to see her friend hurt." I turned to Lisa, "How did it feel having Brad come home to your arms from Sarah's?" Lisa grimaced but then smiled. "Well, not bad at all. I'd been with Mike over the lunch hour that same day. Brad sort of got sloppy seconds. He amazes me too. He ate me out for twenty minutes before we fucked the first time, and I know I was still seeping Mike's cum." Lisa blushed at her admission. Brad just shrugged, apparently unbothered by what had transpired. I asked, "Have you talked about birth control? I'm just curious about what might happen." Lisa said, "I'm on the pill, but Brad and I have talked now and again about starting a family." Brad nodded, "I'm ready, although I think we should let another year pass, to see how we come out of all this." I added to Lisa, "There are probably boundaries in this area for you, especially if you and Mike are going bareback, as it sounds. Lisa, would you come off birth control and continue to allow both men to be intimate with you with the possibility of pregnancy by either one?" Lisa thought for a moment, "Brad, what do you think?" Brad responded, "If Mike made you pregnant I'd be a real cuckold and I don't think I could handle that, nor raising a kid that isn't mine. I know there are other guys who could, but not me." Lisa turned to me, "There's your answer; and that's fine with me. I'd have Mike start to use condoms, and maybe avoid intercourse when I'm at my fertility peak." I asked, "Do you know if you can have children?" Both Lisa and Brad shrugged. She said, "We know of no reason we can't. We've just been career focused, but that's changing now." I encouraged, "Just so you know, I support your idea of waiting a year or so before taking that plunge, especially as you're coming off a rocky period that in some ways went on for years. I've seen others have children to try to fix a marriage problem, and usually the problem persists, maybe even becoming aggravated because of the time both parents have to spend on the baby. The results are not always good." Lisa volunteered, "Brad will be a great father when it happens. He's so caring when we're around little kids. He plays with them and gets right down at their level. They love him too. There's always laughter." Week 6 "How did this past week go for the two of you?" I smiled at the couple cuddled next to each other on the sofa. They were sitting tightly together and holding hands. Lisa smiled and Brad blushed. She said, "We had another breakthrough of some sort, I think." I looked with raised eyebrows encouraging either one of them to say more. Brad took the initiative. "I made love with Jan while Lisa was with Mike." Lisa took hold of Brad's arm and pulled it to her generous chest. I couldn't help notice her cleavage. She said, "We even did it for a while in the same bed. It was so sexy and erotic." Brad blushed scarlet but added, "I never would have thought I could do that, but we did. We switched back and forth a few times, and while Mike and I were in recovery mode, Jan and Lisa put on a sapphic show for us, eating cum from each other's pussies. It sounds gross, but it was unbelievably arousing." I had to suppress my own arousal as the story unfolded. "Ummmm." Brad said, "Jan and Mike came over to our house on Saturday for an evening cookout. It was a warm night, and we have a pool and Jacuzzi. After dinner, we all stripped down and went swimming. Lisa went right over to Mike, and it was arousing watching the two of them make out, particularly when she had him sit on the side of the pool and she gave him one of her world-class blowjobs. Jan had me sit, and turned out she can do some pretty amazing things with her mouth and tongue too." Lisa said, "After a while we kept the same partners but switched who was getting eaten or sucked on; and after that, we got on some chaises on the pool deck and started to make love. It was so romantic doing it in the night air. After the first round, we went inside and showered together - we have a large shower stall that can hold four people nicely. We had a second round in our big bed, and then Jan suggested that we get together. I hadn't been with another woman since college, so it felt good finding my bisexual roots again." I asked Brad, "Does it bother you that Lisa is bisexual, or for that matter Jan?" He smiled, "No. It's sexy. I have no leanings that way, although in the second round I did allow Mike to grab my cock and steer it into his wife. I think Jan got off on that more than I did. Later, I did the same when I put his cock into Lisa. It was a bold and erotic move; I have to admit." Lisa said in a low voice, "We had a third round too, and we also got together on Tuesday evening." Brad said in an equally low tone, "I'd been with Sarah over lunch, so by the end of that day I'd fucked three women. This sex is going to my head and making my ego swell." He chortled a little. "I think I'm beginning to really enjoy having opened our marriage." I asked, "And how are you feeling?" Brad said with a smile, "I'm hornier than ever, but I assume you mean about Lisa and me. I'm doing OK - better than OK. Now and then I get a twinge of jealousy about her and Mike, but I know they're not going to run off with each other so I can easily talk myself out of it. Even Jan assures me that the two of them are really solid together. I know it's a trust issue again, but I'm making the judgment call that I can trust what everyone is telling me, and that is that despite all the collateral relationships, Lisa and I are each other's home base, just the way Mike and Jan are for each other. Sarah is a beautiful and loving friend, and even she knows that; she used that term about herself and me. I think I mentioned she's newly divorced and not ready to get back into some heated exclusive relationship. She was glad when I told her about Jan. I think she sees how I've mellowed and gotten things to a different place." I turned to Lisa. She said, "I had several long talks with Sarah over the week too. We'd stopped talking when she and Brad first got together. I guess it was awkward for her, but I assured her that I was cool with everything that had happened and might happen in the future. Now, it's all out in the open. We talked about feelings and our boundaries and everything." Lisa paused for a second, "I also feel that twinge of jealousy occasionally just the way Brad does, particularly when Brad is with Sarah because she's single, pretty, and available, but as he said, I'm trusting he's accurate in describing his feelings and what's going on. He doesn't know this yet, but I was thinking about asking her to join us some evening for a ménage-à-trois. I don't know whether she's bisexual, but even if she's not I'd like to see her and Brad together now that we've ironed things out. She hasn't been around recently because of all this craziness." I asked, "It sounds as though you are still finding and defining boundaries." Lisa nodded. "Yes, I think we are. The single woman thing bothers me unless I'm in the loop." Brad said to his wife, "I didn't know you felt that way. I'll talk to her about it. I think she might lean your way but let's find out." He added, "I feel better about you and Mike when I'm with Jan too - way better. We don't have to be in the same room, but just sharing at the same time. Maybe our boundary is that we don't have nooners without permission, or something like that." Lisa said, "I sort of agree, but that noon-time sex is good. Maybe you and I can figure out how to do more of that to balance things out." Brad said, "That'd be great. I love making love with you. I do want to keep some spontaneity in what might happen if Sarah and I have lunch. I'll try to anticipate and let you know, and I'll surely tell you when I see you." Lisa agreed, "I'll do the same, but let's plan our days so we have time at midday for each other." Week 7 After our discussion got underway, Lisa confided, although Brad was there too, "I think I love Sarah as much as Jan, or Jan as much as Sarah." Brad said, "Huh?" Lisa sat back and held his hand tightly, "Honey, I've always loved you, but now I also love Mike, Jan, and Sarah. I'd loved Sarah before as a best friend, but now I find I'm loving her as a romantic partner as well. Is that all right?" Brad smiled, "Yes, it's all right. Watching the two of you make love to Jan the other night was an exceptional experience. Mike got off on it too." I asked for clarification, "You had a ... fivesome?" Lisa said, "Yes. It was romantic, hot, sexy, and orgasmic. I can still think myself into an orgasm just remembering Saturday night. We did about everything with each other short of BDSM, although I did get spanked. Heck, even that made me cum." Brad chortled, "She was misbehaving." "How was that?" I asked. "Jan and Sarah had gone down on her, but at that moment she decided she wasn't going to go down on them. Everyone there had decided on a share and share alike rule in our lovemaking." Lisa defended herself; "But Mike had just sunk his lovely cock into my pussy." Brad laughed in a teasing way, "And you couldn't maneuver him around so you could be eating out Sarah or Jan while he fucked you. Lisa, that's not like you at all. You're a woman, and know how to multi-process better than any man." Weekly Sessions Lisa sighed, "Anyway, I got spanked and then I ate out my two female lovers, one at a time when Brad wasn't fucking one of them. I ultimately did both women, and both men fucked me while I did that. It was really wonderful. I hope we're not being too crude or earthy here." "Not a bit." I turned to Brad, "Do I detect that you are becoming some kind of sexual superman?" "I've been studying Tantric Sex, and I think I may drag all of us to a workshop on the subject. In the right conditions I can last indefinitely - or until the skin peels off my pecker; I can recover quickly; I can have multiple orgasms all night; and I can bring my partner to new heights of ecstasy, all without drugs or other sex aids. It's ... well, a spiritual and loving mindset, much as you've indicated." Lisa said, "He's wonderful. The three of us women love being with him. Mike is studying too, although we haven't seen any results yet. We 'play' every time we're together now. We love the group setting." I asked, "How are you two feeling about your marriage?" Brad smiled and gave me a thumbs-up. He talked nonstop for ten minutes about how wonderful everything was now, and how good he felt. I liked the transition he'd made, specifically putting some balance back in his life between work and family and play. Lisa finally spoke, "I agree; it's wonderful and solid again. I am feeling loved by Brad, attended to, romantically involved, and just everything the way I wanted it to be - even better, because things are happening that I couldn't even envision." Brad said, "Me too." His smile was infectious. I said, "Is there any reason for us to continue these sessions? We could stop but always confer if either of you is feeling ill-at-ease or uncertain about something." Both nodded. Lisa said, "Let's do that, but we have another reason to end too." "What's that?" I asked. "Well, we would like to invite you to join us next Saturday evening when we are having Mike, Jan, and Sarah over to the house. I know you'd love them and that they'd love you, and ... well, we've sort of known that your ethics pledge would prevent you from accepting that invitation if we were your patients, so now we're not. So, please, will you come? I promise you ... an interesting night." ###