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The Professor Ch. 1

By: Enchanttress



As I sit here grading test papers from my last class of the day, my mind begins to wander as I come across a test paper of one of my students. His name is Anthony very well mannered young man. With his deep big eyes, so soft and warm. His strong muscular build, his dark hair, and his impressive smile. Although, I know that in my line of work, its dangerous to think such things, but sometimes the mind takes on its on life. Today was one of those days. 

I had been teaching here at this college now for just a couple years. It was all new to me in ways. I had a change of careers at middle age. Strange as it would seem, I went from being a cop, to being a writer, now that is turn around. And although, I myself had never gotten the opportunity to go to college, here I was teaching, up and coming writers the art of putting ones thoughts together on paper, so that it would be interesting, and compelling enough for everyone to read. 

Anthony was a good student, although he seemed a bit distant at times, and kind of withdrawn. I would secretly watch him, as I would hand out assignments to the class as he would flip through the sheets of paper, with this blank look upon his face. My mind would wander to what could be on this handsome young mans mind. I say young, although Anthony was in his 30’s, but for me who was 40, that was younger, and I knew it. Again my eyes glanced down upon the test that Anthony had taken. Looking at the questions, and knowing that he knew these answers, X across it, another one wrong. 

Making my mind up to talk with Anthony the next day, maybe offer him some tutoring. With this thought, my lips spread to a tiny smile. As I thought to myself, now Lynn, you know better, and this is just to help him. Remember that, and it will be fine. 

Waking the next morning, I began my morning routine as usual, with the alarm going off, reaching over to the bedside table, tapping the snooze button! Again, what seemed like just an instant had passed, the alarm sounded again! BUZZ! Sitting straight up in my bed, as my thoughts raced to what seemed like something that was propelling me, a dream, or reality. I wasn't quite sure, searching in my thoughts for what had just been within my mind, looking a bit bewildered and confused. As I rubbed my eyes with my fingers, thinking God, something is making me feel so enticed by this day, and I just can't put my finger on it. Struggling with my thoughts, trying to find any remnants of my dream, and not being able to come up with one. As I stand and stretching my arms above my head, headed for the bath. 

Turning on the water for the shower, I turned to my closet, to see what I was to wear today. Leafing through my many pants and blouses, but bypassing them. For some reason, my hand reached to this very nice dress, that I had recently bought. I hadn't wore it yet, seems I was waiting for just the right moment. Although I didn't realize today was the right moment at the time. Pulling it out of the closet, as I held it before me, very nice, very sleek, very shall I say sexy. It wasn't a very fancy dress, kind of simple really, white in color, with its rounded neck, coming just above the roundness of my breasts, whereas the sleeves came up over the shoulder, and just slightly over my arm. The material was of a stretch nylon, cotton fabric, kind of like a silkiness fabric. Soft to the touch, but thick enough to press against the skin, showing every curve without, showing the skin showing through. The neckline was rounded, but in the center was white lace so that the material of the dress itself, framed my breasts. As the dress moved down the body, with a stretch like a second skin, over my waist, down over my hips, to just passed my buttocks, so that as I moved, the dress moved with me. A wide, gold belt to complete the picture. Placing the dress on my bed,as I head for the shower.

Within the shower, as I stand there, my fingers moving against my skin, I feel a warmth inside me growing. This feeling,I had not felt in such a long time, I almost didn't recognize it. The yearning for the touch of another. My fingers sliding down my neck along my breasts, looking downward at them, the nipples erect from the water splashing against them. Are so I thought. As if my fingers took on a life of its own, they began walking down my body, along my stomach, to my hair line of my most burning desire, slowly my finger moves the neatly trimmed hair, brushing against it gently, as my finger presses downward, to the opening of the lips of my love nest. Parting the lips with my fingers, as the other, gently touches my clit, I feel a shiver pass through my body, and a slight moan escapes my lips. Pressing against my clit with my finger, I feel the pulsating within, gently stroking it back and forth, as I feel tingling below. Then without hesitation, my finger, moves downward to my wetness, sliding back and forth upon the closed lips.... I feel the heat of my juices building, dripping from inside me. As the tip of my finger, captures it. Then without thought, my finger presses within me, as I feel the walls of my love nest wrap around it, pulsating against this tiny finger, yearning for more. As my finger moves in and out once twice, I feel myself getting caught in fantasy. Then suddenly the water turns cold, and it brings me back to reality. Turning the water off, as I dash out, wrapping myself within the bath towel. I move to the mirror, and glancing at my watch notice that 45 minutes had passed since I went into the shower. 

My mind had completely lost track of time as my body took over me. As I dried my hair, curling it, to make sure that it was styled just so. Looking in the mirror, seeing the flush in my face, as my thoughts moved back to the shower, wondering if they had anything to do with the dream, I so badly wanted to recall. Thinking to myself, now Lynn, don't be so embarrassed at your thoughts, you are only human, with human needs. Smiling as I recalled the feeling, but still yearning for that touch of another, to complete what my own body had began. 

Carefully, I applied my makeup, as I finished, I reached for my panties, looking at them and smiling, as I touch the white lace, opening the crotch, I think to myself, hummm wonder what my students would think if they knew their teacher was wearing crotch less panties. Slipping them up my legs, as I feel the lace lie against my well-trimmed love nest, the feel of soft exquisite material. Then methodically placing my stocking upon one leg, then the other. 

As I move into my bedroom, and glance down at this dress, a smile crosses my face. Slowly making sure that it is perfect against my body, as it slides down over my breasts, fitted against my waist and hips, and just barely covering the edge of my stockings. Then reaching for the ankle strap white heals that bring out the strong calves that my pants conceal. As I stand in the mirror, turning my body one way then another. Smiling to myself, and thinking yes this is it, the right time! 

As I arrive at the college, I glance toward the campus, and there he is, Anthony, the student that I have to talk to. Slowly, almost deliberately, I move out of my car, in a very seductive way. As I park, making sure that when I open my door, I will be face to face with Anthony. Stretching one leg out then the other, watching as Anthony stands there before me. Smiling I look at him, and ask if he could help me bring my papers to class for me. Without hesitation, Anthony agrees, as I think to myself, was that a grin I seen on him. Holding on to the door, Anthony's hand reaches out to help me out of my car. 

I look up to him, the feel of his strong hands on mine, looking into the depth of those wondrous eyes. So big, and beautiful, so deep with thought. Smiling to him as I thank him, I turn to reach for the papers.... as I bend down, my buttocks brush against Anthony's jeans... and silently I smile to myself thinking, was that a bulge I felt within them. Lifting the papers, as my hips brushed against his jeans, I turn to him, and said, here they are, I do thank you for your help. I also want to talk with you about something if you don't mind. Seeing Anthony smile, and say, no problem ma'am, what is it would you like to talk about. I motion him to the building, and say we will talk when I get into the classroom if you don't mind. 

As we near the classroom, my heart begins to beat faster. Not sure, exactly how to approach him about what was causing him to be so distracted. And also, something inside me was stirring, not sure, why it was coming out now, but knowing that somehow or another, he was the reason for the episode earlier in the shower.

The Professor Ch. 10



My mind was racing as I hurriedly made the trek to Cullen to collect my notes and books that I needed to finish my paper. I would call Mom and Dad from Lissia's place. I sprinted up the five flights of stairs to the stacks and got to the carrel like my hair was on fire. I stopped at the door and caught my breath, 'God what has just happened?' I unlocked the carrel and gathered my papers, notes and books that I needed. Locking the door I began to worry that anyone who was in that committee meeting today might have the same sense that Dr. Hunter did that there is something between Lissia and me. I started creating monsters worrying about the consequences for both of us. I could always go into the Army but Lissia's entire professional reputation was on the line for me and now even Evie who championed me even though she prompted me to answer easy questions on issues of race. I needed desperately to get control of what was happening. Maybe my cognitive abilities were being flexed and exercised to the maximum to grow stronger relational cognition. I was reaching and borrowing trouble...I didn't know what to think -- I knew what I felt. I love Lissia.

The drive to Lissia's went quickly. She was sitting on the porch swing wearing a beautiful purple sundress, barefoot and smiling. She was gorgeous but I am very biased. It is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder -- that's me the beholder of great beauty. Lissia's was hidden behind that terrible darkness of her teen years. The barbed wire and parapets of her making keeping those away who would hurt her further were breaking down and unraveling. She came off the porch as I got out of the car, holding her arms open to me, "My baby, my brilliant and accomplished baby." We hugged so tightly we just couldn't turn loose. We took each others' hand and walked up the steps into the house, "Where are your books?"

"I'll go out to the car and get them in a minute -- I have been racing like crazy to get here Lissia. My heart is pounding like a jack hammer -- feel this," I put her hand on my chest.

"Oh my Steven, sweet baby let's sit for a minute," as we did I took her into my lap and she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me so slowly. It seemed that we kissed and 'made out' for the better part of an hour. We were 'hungry' for our nearness and physical comfort just in holding one another -- it is the most calming sensation in the world for the love of your life to wrap her arms around you and profess her love -- requited love.

"Lissia?"

"Yes sweet man?"

"I'm worried about something and I need you to walk through it with me," I needed to open this discussion quickly so we'd be prepared. 

She stroked my hair and rearranged it with her forefinger as she watched me very carefully -- now she was hovering. I liked it actually. Anyway I let it out, "Dr. Hunter thinks that you and I are seeing each other because his daughter Sandra ate at Pino's Sunday night and he told her about us."

Her face grew wan, "No he didn't."

I nodded, "He did. The saving grace in this is that Dr. Hunter is a dear friend of mine who loves us both. He said that we were sharing 'lovers' looks during the meeting. So I wonder who else might think that. I mean, Evie tossed me two softball questions and her loquacity yields way too much information -- unintentionally that's just Dr. Marshal I think. But my worry is deeper than Dr. Marshal I'm scared for what might happen to you -- I can always go into the Army and resurface in college after the Army but your career could hang in the balance baby and I couldn't have that."

She kissed me, "Steven, I need you to relax, your jousting at windmills like the Man from La Mancha. What you did today blew everyone away. Dr. Hunter and Dr. Martin who've been so important to your history education were astonished at your polish and absolute command of history and when you quoted John Stuart Mill in front of some very Mill-loving professors you accomplished a fait accompli. It was over. If we had been alone at that moment I would have made love to you right then and there. Baby I told you that I didn't care who knows about us because you professed your love for me," she whispered, "I don't think that's changed for us has it?'

I shook my head, "Not for me. If I knew where we could go tonight to get married I would steal you away."

Her smile was crumpling and her eyes softening as she carefully studied my face, "I feel like I'm in a romantic movie. We been swept away in a rather dramatic fashion unbeknownst to either of us haven't we?"

"We have Lissia, I love the 'we' of us. I never had this before now..."

We sat for a while until I realized the time, "Lissia may I use your telephone to call Mom and Dad?"

"Sure baby," she smiled, "I'll leave you alone."

"No, no I want you next to me," I told her quickly. 

She hugged my neck, "Steven are you sure?'

I nodded, "No secrets. This is us, the 'we'."

She sat on the arm of the club chair as I dialed home, "Hi Mom. How's Dad? Did he take his 3 o'clock medications? How's his breathing? Sure Mom I wanted to tell you both some good news if you can get on the extension. Uh huh, yes ma'am. Hi Dad, how're you feeling? Good. I guess he's still angry with me -- really? That's an improvement. Well a kick to the balls has a way of getting to the point. You gonna let him stay. Sure but Dad if I find out that he's broken that trust -- he's mine. Your voice is fading so let me talk for a while. The Academic committee for undergrad and grad schools have approved my application for a dual BS-MS degree so I can take advantage of the ROTC scholarship. I know Dad I can hardly believe how lucky I am. Well it is a blessing. Yes sir. Actually Phylissia was on the committee. I know I was shocked. She's right here Mom I'm at her home I'm going to finish my paper this afternoon over here where it's quiet and a little closer to school if I need any more information. Do you want to talk with her? Sure, hold one," I held my hand over the receiver, "Mom and Dad want to say hello.

She looked fearful as I patted her arm, "Hello Major and Mrs. Edwards. I'm fine thank you. How're you all especially you Major? Steven keeps me updated on whether you're behaving sir. Stop that. Oh yes ma'am you would have been so proud of Steven today. He is so well read, so studious and so confident. No it's a tribute to how you raised him. He told us that today -- how much he owes you both and how much he loves you. He's very proud of you too. Really Mrs. Edwards? I love you too because of this wonderful man that you and the Major have raised. I will -- I want him to be wildly successful as you do. Okay, here's Steven," she handed me the phone and retrieved her handkerchief from her dress pocket to dab her eyes.

"I will Mom. Sleep well Dad. No I don't know how long I'll work -- you know me when I get started. Okay. I love you both. See you later," I hung up the phone and looked at Lissia. She slid off the arm of the chair into my lap, "Steven what is happening with your family and us?"

"I think this is bigger than us," as I pointed up as I stood up, "Is it still okay for me to work here with you today?"

"Of course I couldn't wait for this to happen," she was grinning.

"I need to get my books and things from the car," I told her.

"Let me help you," she put her finger to my lips, "no arguments okay?"

I smiled, "Okay, thank you baby."

As I opened the door she was shocked at all the materials, "Is this for one paper?"

"Yeah," I have to make sure that what I write is well-documented. I take it very seriously," I told her.

"No kidding, Steven this is big time research," she was awestruck as I loaded my arms.

"Let me get the door, let's go to the kitchen with those books and papers," she urged a direction kind of like herding a cat.

I finally got everything onto the kitchen table and then thought, 'what about supper.'

Lissia and I returned to the sofa to talk for a while -- I was still a bit rattled over what had happened for the day but sitting with her made it feel right. We held hands and propped our sockless feet on a big hassock. I looked at our hands, fingers interlaced and our arms holding the other one's and I smiled, "You know there's something beautiful and very erotic about our skin touching -- I don't know how to describe it."

She laughed easily with us now, "Steven surely you know what that's called..."

I didn't, "Arousal?"

She giggled, "No...it's called jungle fever...we both have a degree of it because of the societal taboo, the legal ensnarement and the personal barriers that get thrown up like Dr. Spinney tried yesterday. I watched you -- you weren't going to let him get away with his bigotry but deep inside there's a place in us both that says even though y'all say 'no' we say 'yes'. It is very erotic when I see your very light skin with my very dark skin. Evie said she wet her pants when she saw us kiss for the first time because she never imagined herself kissing a white man until I kissed you or you kissed me whichever way it happened."

She was right it is very erotic but it was not the only reason she aroused me so. I could feel us both getting hot. I could tell she was thinking the same thing I was - her nipples were now poking against the fabric of her dress and our breathing with quickening. I turned to face her on the sofa and she smiled, lightly touching her tongue to her bottom lip. She looked like a schoolgirl. The sensation was amazing for both of us as I slipped my arms around her and pulled her to me, kissing her slowly at first then increasing the tempo of our kisses. "Lissia I love you so," I professed to her.

"Sweet, sweet Steven I love you too my darling man, the lover of my soul," she held me closely to her. She kissed my neck and unbuttoned the top few buttons my my shirt and kissed my chest. 

That did it for me as I kissed her neck, while massaging and squeezing the flesh of her legs. I slid my hands under her dress; she was as naked as the day she was born. I pulled back and looked at her, "Oh wow Lissia..."

"I want you Steven so badly," she whispered hoarsely as we laid down on the sofa kissing one another where every bit of bare skin could be found. This moment was probably the most erotic experience of my life that she purposely wore nothing under her dress because she wanted me to make love to her. What I would learn is that more than the physical act of making love is the soul beckoning act that creates the desire. We tore down barriers be those intellectual, racial or societal we ripped through those like gossamer strands restraining joy that became unfettered in one another's arms.

I don't know when I picked her up but we ended up on her big four poster -- naked. I had learned to concentrate in the sixty-nine position although she was so skilled at sucking and swirling my dick I would lose my focus. As she lay on her back skillfully manipulating my hard dick I licked and nuzzled and teased her clit and her pussy my tongue found it's undirected path to her anus and I licked her all over...there was nowhere on her beautiful body that my tongue had not been. As I licked her clit it glistened and hardened and her pussy was pulsing out juices the like of which I had not seen from her before. I kissed and licked and then slid two fingers into her pussy and my thumb joined my tongue in working her clit and in a single eruptive move her pelvis threw my head back as she began breaking out in her pre-cum cold sweat and she was moaning like I've never heard -- I held on and continued to lick and finger and manipulate her pussy and clit and just as suddenly as she lurched she came in a swift and violent orgasm coupled with a throaty, "O H H H H...STEVENNN!" She collapsed back onto the bed, her dark, beautiful svelte body glistening with sweat, my hard dick had popped out of her mouth and I turned around and lay beside her raising her leg slightly as she smiled shakily to me patting my face whispering raggedly, "Oh Steven what did you do to me?"

I inhaled, "I'm not done yet. Baby I want you to feel so loved and so completed as the beautiful and magnificent woman that you are -- my Lissia..." I kissed her and slid the head of my hard dick against her drooling pussy lips. She moved under the pressure parting her left leg slightly allowing me to slide into her wet, hot, swollen pussy, still pulsating from her orgasm.

She moaned as my dick slid into her sweet belly, "oh yesss...that's what I neeeed...oh....yes...now...uh...oh...yesss..." her arms reaching for me to hold on as I began moving my hips in a slightly circular , driving motion, her belly began moving to my rhythm and she leaned her head back as the tempo increased. Each inward stroke increased in speed until our bodies were-slap-slap-slapity-slapping as we both started trying to find something to hold on to the faster I pumped. My breathing quickened and I was sweating like a racehorse -- we hadn't turned on the fan -- who cared at this point. The bedsprings and frame were rocking, creaking and squeaking with strange but a metronome like beat, our heads were filling with the scent and sounds of our sexual prowess as we kept the pace rising to our orgasmic crescendo. My balls were tightening as she panted out her groans and grunts.

"Oh...gawd...Ste...ven...oh...my ba...by," she panted looking at me with lust-filled half open eyes. I kept pumping and suddenly rolled onto her belly burying my dick deeply into her as her eyes widened with excitement and just plain lust as she would later confide, "Now baby faster...pullllleasseeee?" Her physical desire was a joy to give her as we rocked her bed into a frenzy my ever-tightening balls were reaching their breaking point as she begged me to cum in her. Her vaginal muscles tightened on my dick so hard I thought she cramped on me and her pelvic thrust bucked me straight up as she came again...her orgasm triggered a wicked ejaculation that caught me by surprise as I felt jets of fiery hot cum shooting into her fines sweet belly. My sweat was dripping onto her already wet skin, her breathing was slowing down, her eyes were closed as she whispered, "My Steven, my lover...what are you doing to me?"

The real question for me is 'what was she doing to me?' She slowly opened her eyes and a sweet smile crossed her lips. I pulled out of her and laid beside her my leg laying over hers, my right arm across her beautiful breasts as I cradled her head in my hands and forearms, "I love you Lissia...so very much."

She stroked my face and looked at me with the softest, most endearing gaze I'd ever experienced from her or any other woman, "Steven this is far more than I ever imagined that I would have in my life. I don't know how I deserve you. Dr. Hunter is right I couldn't keep my eyes off of you today. I listened to and hung onto every word that you said wanting to know more about this dear man who has captivated me."

I kissed her sweet lips, sweeping stray hairs from her forehead and cheeks. "You've stolen my heart. I was worried today after Evie threw me a softball that you'd do the same thing. I was anxious that you might think I couldn't handle myself today and because of where our love is taking us you might tend to protect me. Thank you for letting me be who I am in front of your colleagues."

"Steven when Dean Kaplan began trying to attack you I wanted to jack-slap his ass but you calmly took him down to the appropriate size and never let him gain an advantage. Then you quoted John Stuart Mill precisely and it got deathly quiet in there -- Kaplan had nothing to say and I wanted jump up and shout 'AMEN!' Thankfully I didn't then everyone would know what dear Dr. Hunter already knows." She kissed me and we held each other until we drifted off to sleep.

In about an hour or so we awoke and took a shower. We both needed to get to work. Lissia was going to grade papers in the dining room and I would type my paper in the kitchen. After our shower Lissia came into the kitchen and we made sandwiches for supper with that wonderful smoked ham with a side of sweet potatoes washed down with a big glass of unsweetened ice tea. We cleaned up the dishes and set about our work. When I began writing I go blind, deaf and dumb because I am so focused on my work and this paper was my last for the semester. I don't know how long I'd been working but there was a knock on the door that caused me to stop typing. I did get up to make sure she was safe and I heard her say 'Dr. Spinney.' I went back to work. I'll let Lissia tell this part to you. 

LISSIA CONFRONTS DR. SPINNEY

As Stephen told you he was busy hammering out his final paper when Dr. Spinney, my pastor, came calling -- knocking rather firmly on my door. I opened it slightly, "Dr. Spinney I didn't expect to see you this evening."

"Good evening Dr. Wright may I come in?" he asked in his most officious voice. I could tell this man had something on his mind.

I sat in the wing chair and showed him the sofa asking him to sit, "What brings you out this evening Dr.? You haven't been to see me in the two years I've been coming to New Macedonia..."

He got the idea I didn't like his just dropping by unannounced, "Well child I'm gravely concerned about the direction that your life is taking."

"In what way," I pushed him. I knew what his bigoted ass was gonna say.

"Well let's just say it doesn't look good for a learned professor such as yourself to be bedding a white boy," he grinned like a possum eating shit.

"Who I date or see is my business -- do we understand each other?" I pushed him.

"No it's not your business if you're a member of MY church," he condescendingly told me.

"That's funny Dr. Spinney I was raised to believe that the church is the body of Christ and that the congregation calls it's pastors -- so it's not YOUR church, without our tithes you wouldn't live in that fine house or drive that fine car or wear those $200 suits," I glared at him. "Our visit here is done Dr. Spinney. If you want to throw me out of your church -- go ahead cause my $150 a month tithe goes with me and I know a few others who'll be happy to go with me as well. And just for your information Stephen and I are going to be married -- we don't care what you or the rest of the bigoted, hateful world thinks. You can get up on your feet, lock your knees and carry your sorry ass out of my house and stay out -- I can find another church you pompous ass!"

That scrawny son-of-a-bitch stood up holding his hat by the brim not knowing whether to shit or wind his watch so I pointed toward the door. He excused himself and left. I was fuming and stomping that's when I noticed the typewriter from the kitchen had stopped. I turned around and there was my sweet baby walking over to me on his tiger paws. He took me in his arms and held me so tightly and kissed my neck and face -- he held my face and looked into my eyes with those crystal blues of his and said so sweetly, "My dearest Lissia I love you -- don't worry about that phony preacher -- let's focus on us and school and getting everything right with us."

Have I told you how much I love Steven? Lord God I do love this man. He held me in those big ol' arms of his for the longest time singing 'My girl' by the Temptations. He knew all the lyrics and we danced while he sang it to me and when he stopped he looked at me again, "You're my girl -- forever and ever Lissia -- don't ever worry about anything. I love you sweet baby."

I can't tell you what every girl wants but I knew what I wanted and he was 6'2", black hair, blue eyes and strong as a tiger with the intensity of ten men and an unimpeachable integrity. He loved me warts and all and that is what I had dreamed about - I got the dream I just didn't know he'd be white but like he told me we were sweet together like marbled cake his white cake and my chocolate cake swirled all together. We were all swirled together now.




The Professor Ch. 10



We got back to our work.

STEVEN CONTINUES

That Dr. Spinney is a sorry sack of human excrement. I could tell Lissia was upset by what he said to her. She didn't tell me everything at once just dribs and drabs but she was hurt by his nasty attitude toward us. We both got back to our labors. We finished around midnight. Lissia read my paper behind me. I wrote on the influence of the Templars on Medieval European society. She made quite a few comments and all of them were interesting. She hadn't done much reading on the organization or their purpose so she was fascinated and burned through my thirty double-spaced pages quickly. She looked up, "I want more. This is the kind of writing that gets published baby. Your grammar is perfect, no misspellings and everything is very neat -- this is for Dr. Hunter?"

I nodded, "Yes my last paper -- I don't have to take his final so tomorrow I'll be over to mow the lawn and begin laying out those planting beds."

She smiled, "We'd better get some rest."

I nodded and reluctantly packed my books, portable typewriter and papers and loaded them into the car. I wouldn't let Lissia help. It would be really hard to leave tonight but I would have to manage it. We kissed once more very slowly and said good night and professed our love. She stayed on the porch until I pulled away. The drive home was long and fortunately uneventful. I parked in the driveway at home and brought in my books and papers. All the lights were out as I eased my way to my bedroom. I undressed in the dark, wound the clock and pulled the alarm tab for 0500 hours. It would come to soon but tomorrow was the last day of class for the summer and then off to Ft. Benning without Lissia. I fell asleep quickly -- the alarm would startle me awake in the morning. I was again thankful for Lissia, Dad and Mom.



The Professor Ch. 11



I woke up at 0430 hours and stared at the clock's radium impregnated dial and hands. I was always afraid that I'd be late for an exam or when a paper was due which was my premier, scary nightmare. I didn't know the nightmares that awaited me in my future I'd just deal with the crazy ones right now. I pushed the alarm tab in and got up, fumbled around for my flashlight and found my running clothes and got dressed for a long run. A lot had happened in a few days. It was cool enough outside where I could get a ten mile run in before class. It took about 90 minutes to cover that ten miles unlike the high school track days where the coach would crawl us for running 'slack times.' I walked the last quarter mile to the house to cool down. It didn't take long for me to sweat like I had cut a sweat artery. I walked into the garage and went into the house. Dad was surprised to see me coming in.

"Steven! How was the run?" he smiled. He looked good.

"It's good Dad. How're you feeling?" I smiled and went over and hugged him.

"Actually feel good right now. Tell me more about the meeting yesterday," he was really interested. I told him all the details and he smiled, "So Phylissia was on the committee? Did you know it beforehand?"

"No sir. She was very professional, very tough, Dean Kaplan was a bit of a pain though but I listened to him very carefully and answered his question and then put it back in his court. I don't think he liked that -- he voted against me but it was a 10-1 decision so when I graduate I'll have a BS/MS History undergrad and Mathematics in graduate level work along with a commission to 2nd Lieutenant."

He was proud of what had happened and of me, "You know son I got my GED in the Army. The Depression was hard so we had to work to help feed the younger ones. What you've accomplished is icing on the cake for Momma and me. We're proud of your courage too, son."

I must have had a strange look on my face, "Thanks Dad but it doesn't take courage to do what I've done it's just as you say butt-in-chair work so I did that thanks to yours and Mom's training."

"No Steven, with Phylissia. I couldn't do what you two are doing even if I had a love like yours. You have the courage of ten lions, son. Your brothers are terrified of you right now. They didn't know the courage in your good heart. I hope they come around. She's a fine young woman. I never thought I'd say that about a black woman or man but you've taught me something about living son."

"I wasn't trying to teach anyone anything Dad. I was respecting your wishes. You told me to bring her home so I did," I told him.

He patted my arm, "Let's eat some breakfast." He and I made coffee, scrambled some eggs, fried sausage and toasted some wheat bread. We ate our fill, talked and then cleaned up the dishes. It was a good morning with Dad I didn't know how many more there would be. He seemed to know it too.

I went to shower, shave and change for class. It didn't take long. I had my routine down to sixteen minutes. I gathered my books and papers and stuck my head in the den and told Dad, "I'm heading out Dad!"

He waved as he sipped coffee and read the paper in his chair with the dog in his lap -- they were a real pair of pals, "Have an easy day son and give Phylissia a kiss from Momma and me."

"Will do sir!" That was an easy one. I checked to make sure I had all my papers and books. Did one last check of the car and hit the road. I was at school earlier than usual so I went to Cullen to check my library books in and clean up the mess I made in the carrel. As I was walking toward Cullen Dr. Hunter hailed me, "Steven!"

I turned, "Hi Dr. Hunter!"

"How are you this morning? You're up early," he allowed.

"I couldn't sleep you know the old nightmare late for the final and all," I smiled and patted my briefcase.

"If you have your paper ready I'll take it and you don't even have to come to class," he was such a great teacher and friend.

"Oh and Mom sent you and Mrs. Hunter some shortbread," I told him as I set my books down.

"I'll take the shortbread first if you don't mind," he laughed.

I smiled, "Yeah her shortbread will give you a heart attack it's so rich."

"Yes indeed it will unless you have it with a cup of strong, black coffee," he smiled as he handled the foil-wrapped shortbread as though he was handling gold bullion. Then I handed him my paper. He smiled, "So did Phylissia read your paper?"

I was caught like a deer in the headlights, my face flushed red, "Yes sir."

"It's okay, I figured it out. She's a wonderful teacher and a sweet friend of ours. I had told her about you for quite a while I just didn't tell her your name," he confided.

I didn't know what to say. I was mortified for a lack of a better term.

"Steven? Steven?" Dr. Hunter was worried.

"I'm sorry sir I just can't think straight right now. I don't want anything to happen to Dr. Wright," I was shaking all over.

"Sit down here Steven. Let's get this straight between us. I wanted her to meet you she is so misunderstood by her students and colleagues. I know her as charming, intelligent and compassionate, but she apparently has the reputation of being a bitch when nothing could be further from the truth," he confided in me. "I noticed something different in her yesterday -- it was like a light switch had gone on in her -- she was different in a wholesome way, in a very human way. When I saw you and her together it was so obvious to me it was practically shouting from the rooftops. I don't want you to worry, I know you will even though I tell you not to worry. I hope you'll trust me with this. Okay I need to go and you need to have coffee with a beautiful sociologist whom I would bet is waiting to see her champion." With that he got up and headed toward his office with my final paper and Mom's shortbread.

I sat there like a lump of cold, wet clay. I finally got up and trudged over to Cullen and checked in the library books then went upstairs to the carrel, the door was partially open so I tapped on it and Lissia opened it. She was radiant, "Hi baby," her voice was husky and barely audible. The look on my face said it all as she pushed the door shut behind me, "Oh Steven what's wrong baby?"

I broke into a cold sweat, "Dr. Hunter knows for sure now."

She smiled, "I know -- he was just here. He told me that you're the young man he'd been trying to set me up with."

I sat down, "I am...I mean I have no idea what's going on..."

She patted my thighs, "Sweet lover listen to me...it's okay Dr. Hunter is a dear friend his wife Estelle is a black woman he met in France and he could bring her here because they were already married."

I was stunned I had known Dr. Hunter for two years and didn't know that his wife was black. I just knew that she was younger than his first wife who had died then he met Estelle in France, "Whew!" was all I could utter.

"What are your plans for the rest of the day?" she asked me.

"I need to drop this paper off with Dr. Quinones, then go over and cut the grass and lay out the flower beds along the porch so we can start getting the right plants in place; after that I'm wide open. Tomorrow I need to go to the ROTC Supply and pick up my uniforms and three sets of orders," I laid out what was on the agenda.

"What if you cut the grass tomorrow and we drove to Galveston today after I post the grades?" she smiled ever so sweetly.

"I'd love that," I breathed out deeply.

"Good let's take my car. Do you need to get anything out of yours or can you just park it in my garage?" She persisted getting very domestic.

"Lissia there is one thing I want to do with us," I softened my voice.

"What's that baby?" she wanted to know more.

"I have a savings account at the university credit union and I want you to have access to the account in case anything ever happens to me...you know in basic training or wherever," I confessed frankly to her.

She sucked a small breath in, "No Steven let's not talk that way. Okay baby? You're scaring me."

"I'm trying to be realistic. I worked too hard to leave this kind of money to my brothers. Mom and Dad refused it, telling me that it should go to you," I held her hands and studied her beautiful, dark eyes.

"Oh Steven I don't know what to say...you've caught me off guard," she was very still as I handed her the pass book. She opened it and almost dropped it, "Steven! What kind of work have you been doing? There's over $8,000 in this account...my house didn't cost that much."

"I've been working and saving since I was eight. I had $13,500 when I started college I built it back up after I bought my car back in '63...so I just work and save. Lissia it's important to me that your name is on this account. I told you that I love you...that means forever..." she put her finger on my lips.

"I...I...I...I need to think about this I won't say I won't do it but Steven this is a pile of money baby...isn't there anyone else?" she pleaded.

"We can talk later - right now I need to drop off this paper, get over to your house and park my car to get ready for a drive to Galveston," I smiled. I kissed her slowly and thoroughly. Her lips and tongue were so sweet and hot I loved kissing her. I especially loved the feel of her lips; I guess their plushness just made her kisses so exciting and delicious for me, "Lissia I love kissing your sweet lips."

"Do you enjoy my thick lips?" she smiled.

"I really do and your soft smooth skin excites me," I confessed my secret.

"I'm glad baby because our physical characteristics are different and that can be intimidating even to some black men," she admitted.

"Not to me, your beauty haunts me when I'm not with you," I was embarrassed to tell her that.

"Steven! You're such a romantic man," she stroked my face. "I didn't know I haunted anyone."

"Lissia I can't stop thinking about you day and night...you're always on my mind and in my heart," I told her as she massaged my forearms with both of her hands. "Why don't we get going so we can enjoy the day in Galveston? How long will it take to post the grades?"

"Long enough to walk over to the Liberal Arts building and tape them to my office door," she smiled, "then I'm yours for the day."

"Cool," I smiled broadly, "I stuck my chest out. I like this. I know a really good seafood restaurant in Galveston, the Seaview we can eat and watch the waves. Great fried shrimp and trout, with hush puppies and cole slaw."

"Stop it! Stop it right now I'll be so hungry by the time we get there I'll eat the putty out of the windows," she joked. She leaned toward me and we kissed one more time.

I was off like a shot toward Dr. Quinones' office. His office was in the Engineering Building near the student parking lot where I could park. I ran up two flights of stairs and knocked on his door. Dr. Q was a slight man who was originally from Cuba. He possessed two doctorates: one in applied mathematics and the other in spatial mathematics. His brilliance blew me away. He was quiet and very perceptive. He opened his door, "Esteban, it is so good to see you! You did very well yesterday -- we're so proud of you! Come, come sit down tell me what's gotten you so excited."

"Thank you Dr. Quinones...I...well I need to give you this paper," I was flustered; he was so polite and so genuinely nice. 

I handed the paper and he shook his head, "Esteban you didn't have to write this paper, you did very well this semester."

"I know what you told me sir but you know how much I wanted to increase the use of derivatives in modeling in a more varietal way...well I think I've come up with the foundation for my master's thesis," I told him eagerly.

"Really!? Already?" He asked.

"Yes sir. If you could look at it and maybe we could talk about it Friday or next week some time I sure would appreciate it...I want to plan my course work around this concept but if it isn't feasible from your perspective that is how the non-positives function then I need to rethink the domains and possibly the whole perspective," I explained.

"Okay Esteban, school is over for the semester, relax...take a break you work too hard my son...go play...go do something where you can smell the fresh air away from here...go find a pretty girl and take her dancing but leave here...now go...go and have some fun!" He shooed me out of his office with the promise that he would look at my premise.

I walked quickly to the car and piled my brief case and a few text books in the back seat and made the fifteen minute drive to Lissia's home. I backed the car in near the garage and opened the garage and the car trunk. I took the mower and other tools out and found a place in the garage where I could keep them and still back the car in -- it looked like I was going to have to straighten out that garage too. I had backed my car into the garage and was closing the garage door as Lissia pulled her TR-3 into the driveway. Her smile was radiant. I had my sunglasses and baseball cap as I strode across the drive to greet her. I took her in my arms and kissed her, "Hi beautiful."

"Hello my handsome man," she absolutely glowed. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay, what is it?" I grinned.

"Well it seems several of the female students decided that I must have changed my hairdo," she smiled.

I didn't know what to say, "Okay...since when?"

"That's just it I haven't, they've noticed something different. In fact two of them noticed I was smiling during the exam while I was writing this to you," she handed me a note. "They wanted to know who the man is."

I could feel my face blush, "Wha...uh...well...what did you tell them?"

We walked toward the house, I said that some real joy has come into my life and I thanked them for noticing," she stopped me on the walkway; "Steven baby they told me the sadness is gone from my eyes. I didn't know it showed so apparently even to my students."

I put my hand on her shoulder and rubbed her neck lightly, "There is a wonderful light in your eyes that emanates from that healing heart of yours. The clouds are rolling away and the light is shining through. Lissia you are the most wonderful woman I've ever know and those students will learn that too now that the 'barbed wire fortress around your heart' has opened. I am so thankful for you; you're stunning and brilliant," I kissed her and held her tightly as she sniffled a bit.

"Let's go inside before I turn into a blubbering baby out here," she breathed out a short ah. "I'm going to change into some comfortable clothes, help yourself to some iced tea."

"Thanks sweetie, do you want some?" I asked.

She stood in the doorway undressing as I stared, "Yes but this," she motioned with her opened palms all the way from her breasts to her knees, "will wait until after our Galveston adventure."

"Aw shucks," I snapped my fingers and wolf-whistled.

"There a small ice chest in the pantry that we can put the iced tea jar in and some Cokes if you want them," she slowed.

I found everything and she came out wearing a beautiful pink sun dress, sandals and floppy straw hat. She certainly knew how to dress, "How many dresses do you have?"

She laughed, "I make them all and save hundreds of dollars."

We gathered up her things and loaded the car. She handed me the keys, "I want to watch you drive the TR." It was an easy drive to I-45 and it took about forty-five minutes to get to Galveston. We got off at 61st Street and drove to the first left onto Seawall Boulevard and headed to the beach ramp that allowed us to drive onto the beach and park. As we came to a stop, she looked at me, "Steven this is beautiful. You seem to know your way around pretty well I guess you bring all the little chickies here." She winked at me.

"No, Dad and I fish two of those jetties right over there, plus we bring him to the USPHS Hospital on 103rd Street," I confided in her.

"I'm sorry I wasn't aware that this is where he had to come," she got quiet.

I stroked her cheek, "Lissia you wouldn't have known this. It's okay baby. Come on let's walk down the beach."

We raised the top on her car to keep the sand and sea air out of it. We took our shoes off and walked at the water's edge watching the flivvers and sand pipers running just out of reach of the growing surf as the tide began to change. We talked and shared our dreams and how we could forward together. There were very few people on the beach since it was the middle of the week and school wasn't out yet. The few who were there were shocked to see this white guy with his black girlfriend walking hand-in-hand on the beach. We walked and talked for two hours...it was long enough for us to get hungry, "How about some lunch?" I asked her.

"Yes! I'm famished. Fried shrimp?" She was like that school girl who had never lost her effervescence. We went back to the car and I had her sit in the passenger seat so I could wipe the sand form her feet. She was astonished that I would do that as I slapped her sandals together to get rid of the sand. I then went to the driver's side and did the same for me. We drove up to Seawall Boulevard and parked across from the Seaview Restaurant. I held her hand as we crossed the street together.

As I opened the door to the Seaview the rich aroma of fresh seafood and baked bread trapped you and drew you in. Effie Spanos, Georgie's wife met us, "Steven, how's you daddy. He feel better? I pray so hard for Major." Effie was short, deeply olive complexion and wonderful Greek accent. She hugged me like her son, "Now who is this beautiful young woman Steven -- you never bring girls so this is special."

"Mrs. Spanos this is Dr. Phylissia Wright, Dr. Wright this is Mrs. Spanos," I smiled as Lissia took Effie's hand.

"I am so happy to meet you Mrs. Spanos," Lissia charmed her.

Effie hugged her and kissed her, "Steven is in love with you so that is good. You two sit and my name is Effie. You sit I'll bring your food and some nice tea."

Lissia was in shock, "Steven?"

I looked at her and winked, "Yes baby?"

"How...I mean...what just happened?" she didn't know what to say.

"She knows everything just by looking at you, it's eerie but she's never wrong and even if she was who would tell her -- she's a romantic," I smiled.

Effie doted on us and kept coming over to check on us. The Spanos'loved my Mom and Dad especially my Dad. He helped liberate Greece during World War II so he is a hero to them and to me as well.

I held Lissia's hand and stared into her eyes, "Lissia I really want you to be the beneficiary on my account and my SGLI (serviceman's group life insurance)."

"I will only say yes if you're serious about us getting married," she was quietly serious now.

"I am very serious about us," I told her. "I could die tomorrow having found my true love in you. I honestly need nothing more."

"Oh my God Steven, you are so dear to me and I love you so much," she held onto my hands, her eyes softened and her smile crumpled into that innocence that turns me into a gooey mess.

Effie and her daughters appeared with fried shrimp, freshly caught and fried speckled trout, hush puppies, cole slaw, tartar and cocktail sauce and giant glasses of unsweetened ice tea with lemon, "Eat, Dr. you and Steven must eat -- lovers need their food." With that she kissed Lissia on both cheeks and me -- as always on the mouth. She squeezed my head, "He's Greek can't you see?"

We both laughed and began enjoying our meal. There was no way we could eat that much food and when we stopped Effie brought some lemon meringue pie and strong Greek coffee along with more kisses. While we were drinking our coffee Effie and Georgie came out and sat at the table with us. Georgie smiles, "Steven how's you Poppa?"

"Well Mr. Spanos he's holding on as well as we could expect. You know how tough he is," I told them rather solemnly.




The Professor Ch. 11



"The Major, have you met this great man doctor?" he asked Lissia.

"I have Mr. Spanos. He is a very strong man and very much admired and loved by my Steven," she smiled to him as she squeezed my hand.

We sat and talked with the Spanoses for about a half hour. After I paid our bill Effie and Georgie hugged and kissed us both urging us to be careful, to give their love to my parents and to love each other all the time. They were dear sweet friends to our family. As Lissia and I walked back across the street to her car she wondered aloud, "Why can't the rest of the world act like this?" I could hear the bitter sweetness in her voice -- it was almost a nostalgic melancholia that begged to be teased out to its conclusion.

We drove toward the Bolivar Ferry at the east end of the Island -- one of the great, free guilty pleasures of mine. We parked the car in the automobile parking lot and walked aboard. We climbed the stairs leading to the catwalk in front of the wheelhouse. We could feel the giant diesel engines idling as cars and trucks filed aboard under the watchful eyes of the deckhands. Then the engines rumbled to a start as the ferry pulled away from its moorings headed toward Bolivar. As we churned through Rollover Pass I watched Lissia's face as she enjoyed her first experience on the ferry -- there were dolphins running ahead of the ferry, gamboling and enjoying the closeness with their human relatives. The salt air was refreshing and invigorating. We walked around the catwalk and down the stairs to the inside passenger bay where the smell of diesel and salt air comingled into a less-than-pleasant vapor. We returned to our watch positions in front of the wheel house for the return trip to Galveston Island. As we docked on Galveston Lissia was dreamy-eyed with the day, "Steven I didn't know this world existed. I have loved this day with you like no other in my life."

I hugged her closely to me as we walked to her car. I held the door for her and as she turned to get in I took her in my arms and kissed her very slowly. Folks around us were shocked to see our love so openly expressed -- neither of us cared what they or anyone else thought, "I love you Lissia -- for my life I'll never know another woman."

She held onto me tightly, "I love you too sweet baby. My life is complete too."

We drove toward I-45 on 61st Street where I pulled into a carwash, "Let's pull the top up and rinse the salt from your car otherwise you'll be fighting rust." We ran the TR-3 through the rinse twice and then pulled the top down for the drive back to her house. I took the drive slowly and we arrived uneventfully at her house in a little over an hour. We got out and I pulled my car out of the garage so we could put her car inside. She tried to protest but it was to no avail. This time we went into the house through her kitchen door. The back portion of the porch was in the shade and it felt cool on the porch.

***********************

LISSIA SPEAKS UP ABOUT US...

Hi friends who've been reading along with us. Thank you for reading Steven's writing; he's so generous with how I felt and how scared I was for so many reasons. Just so you know where we are right now I'm visiting with him for a month...I know you can fill in the blanks about 'why'. So I'm reading and talking to him while he writes. We have a lot of interruptions as you can imagine, but he's still sweet and lets me get away with all the fun I can stand.

When Steven professed his love to me I couldn't believe it. Rape had left me angry and bitter and barren. But something amazing happened -- Steven. He showed up in the darkest hours of my life with a sweetness that stole my heart and a toughness that made me tremble to be around him. He always calls me beautiful. I'm not. He says I am. I asked him if I was beautiful like Diana Ross he just laughed at my question. I asked him why he did that. He said, "Baby it's simple I don't know Diana Ross, I know you and your heart -- if you are beautiful on the inside you're beautiful on the outside." 

I would go to the university swim center and watch him play water polo with the other students and professors or just watch him swim laps. He never stops moving -- there's a restlessness about him -- he says it saved his life in Vietnam -- I'm so thankful for that. I think it was God not being finished with us.

When Steven cleared the hurdles for the dual degree program he was so afraid others might think that Evie and I rigged the vote -- he never thought he was that gifted. He wrote about the night that he came over to finish the paper on the Templars -- at one point I was reading behind him and he was typing slower than I was reading and he just put his head down on the typewriter and started laughing. He said, "Baby I can't type any faster, besides I'm writing this paper for Dr. Hunter." I went over and put my arms around his neck and started kissing his sweet self and he grabbed me over the back of the chair, lifted me like a pillow and I wound up in his lap scared shitless at what he'd just done. Taught me a lesson not to mess with him when he was working."

We spent a lot of long evenings me grading papers, he writing and solving these lengthy complex mathematics problems. We got very good at working out the kinks in our backs and sexual libidos. I don't know who taught whom. Steven was a virgin but he sure acquired skills very quickly. I asked Steven if I could tell this story and he said sure. I had some burning down...there girls. You know, my first reaction was he's given me a disease. I was pissed off that he might have cheated on me; lied to me and that he gave me something. I finally went to my OBGYN and she looked at me and asked me how often I was having sex. That embarrassed the hell out of me. I told her everyday two or three or four times a day depending. She asked depending on what. I told her depending on how much time we had to spend together. She said I didn't have gonorrhea or syphilis or Chlamydia -- I had 'honeymoon cystitis'. I wanted to know what that was and she said too much sex that I needed to give my pussy a rest -- well those are my words. Now I was embarrassed because I thought badly of Steven. He was so sweet. He made sure that we followed the doctor's instructions and that I took the anti-inflammatory and antibiotic meds. We abstained from sex for a week that was painful as well but I didn't need a worse bladder infection. He didn't run. He made sure I was comfortable.

I have to talk about the Major and Mrs. Edwards because of how they treated their son with such respect and therefore they treated me with equal respect. In today's world that isn't an issue -- I'm glad of that - not that there aren't issues to deal with but in the 60s they let me be part of their tight family group. Hal and George were always a problem for Steven and me -- they behaved like the assholes that they were but around Steven they had to watch their step. I saw him throw his fat-assed younger brother around like a bag of peanuts -- Steven is strong as hell. Anyway as the Major's health failed him Steven would always ask me if I wanted to go with him to see his Dad. I always did -- he was one of the few 'old white men' that I trusted. The Major would tell stories of his time in the military but would stop when he got to the tough parts and ask about us -- he called us 'his future.' Mrs. Edwards would sit with me for hours and we'd sew and talk like she didn't know I was black. One Sunday in her church she introduced me as her future daughter. She made a complete transformation according to Steven. I want to talk about the Major's death but it's not time yet.

Steven always treats me like a lady. We went to a few places that would not seat us or they would take forever to seat us and Steven would say something to the maître'd and in a few minutes he'd show up with that pompous ass in tow and extract an apology and a table with very fast service. Steven took no shit from anyone and still doesn't. I liked being on his arm. I was proud to be his love and he made me feel loved and respected wherever we were.

We never argued like some couples. Steven's logical brain processed information differently. He'd ask hundreds of questions and before long you realized he had a firm grip on his position and it was odd that he never tried to convince me that I should take his position. Early on I tried to pick fights with him -- hell that was useless. We usually ended up in bed -- him between my thighs with his big ol' dick in me -- I loved seeing his fine white ass between my dark thighs -- it is so erotic I get wet even now thinking about that.

I embarrassed the shit out of him one day. One of his ROTC buddies made a snide remark about not being a man until you split a black oak -- I looked him up and down and said it wasn't likely he'd even split a sapling with his pencil dick.

But I want to tell you about the afternoon that we returned from our first trip to Galveston together. That day was magical. Stephen drove my TR-3 like he'd driven her all of his life. It was the longest ride I'd ever taken in the TR in the passenger seat but there would be so many more wonderful days and nights ahead. The day was glorious, a tall blue sky and billowy white clouds with the comfortable May breeze gliding us along to the island. Steven knew the island like he knew his neighborhood. He showed me all the places that he and his Dad fished; where the family swam and played on the beach and now where his father went for his medical treatments. We had the most wonderful lunch with the Spanos family in their restaurant and it was surreal how we were treated, well how I was treated because I was Steven's girl -- we were family too and loved like their children. I was almost in tears -- all through my life among white folk I was invisible or treated like shit; but this was way out of left field -- I never expected to be treated with such affection by total strangers. These people are in Steven's life and they're like him -- he is so casual in his treatment of everyone -- everyone is his peer regardless of what he said about not being my peer until he had earned his Ph.D. I'm his senior by eight years and yet he makes me feel wonderfully young and innocent with his kindness. I remember now what it was like to be a child because Steven has gently loved me back to spiritual wellness.

He took me for a ride on the Bolivar Ferry we made several trips on the ferry for free to Bolivar from Galveston and back. The salt air, the birds, the porpoises, the churning of the big diesel engines under the steel deck plates, the hissing of the water as it broke away from the blunt bow of the ferry were background pleasures as he held me close and kissed me on the neck and ears, whispering his commitment and passion for me. I felt my soul wrapping itself inside and all around Steven's being and his living. He made my joy his priority not his afterthought. There were times I had to gasp in little breaths just to breathe with him. Being his girl is powerful and wonderful. Somewhere in our love Steven grew away from black and white -- I was his Lissia now and he was my Steven.

As we were leaving the island he made sure the TR was washed free of the salt air and sand. He didn't want it rusting and becoming a problem for me -- something I wouldn't have thought of. I held his hand and watched him as we drove to the house. I was completely overwhelmed by the day and all that had happened. I had never been romanced. I don't know if anyone in my circle of friends had experienced anything like this -- I am certain Evie hadn't. When we got home Steven moved his car out of the garage and put mine away being careful to snap the tonneau cover and raise the top. He backed his car to the garage door as one more step of being safe. I watched the care he took with something that wasn't even his -- amazingly respectful. 

We walked up the back steps onto the cool porch and went into the house through the kitchen. He was careful to lock the door behind us. I was trembling like a schoolgirl. His eyes were so gentle and crystal blue as he held his hands to me; I stepped out of my shoes and pressed my body against his wrapping my arms around his strong neck. His kiss was fiery hot and we were wanton as we strove to love one another. His strong hands were on my hips and he moved them to my ass as he squeezed and massaged them. I have a round butt that is more than a handful but not to his big hands. As he slid his hands up my body my thin, cotton dress went with his powerful grasp. He suddenly learned my secret for the day I wore nothing but the dress my shoes and my smile. I was backed against the table and his dick was protruding against his slacks like a hard iron rod poking my abdomen, "Oh baby!" I breathlessly blurted out, "Steven!"

"Yes my love?" he whispered hotly into my ear as he kissed my neck and throat. "Lissia baby I love you so very much. I am so proud of us. Everyone sees how beautiful you are and it makes me proud to be your man," his words urgently poured off his tongue as I held on for dear life in his arms. When all of a sudden he swept me up like a rag doll and carried me to bed. I couldn't control my breathing, my heart was pounding in my ears and screaming like overloaded power lines. The fire that was burning through my body was out of control as he laid me on the bed and slid his hands under my dress and in one motion it was off of my already sweating body. I leaned up with him between my knees and began undoing his belt and pants while he unbuttoned his shirt. He lifted his feet out of his slacks and his Jockey shorts. His beautiful hard dick popped out for me to suckle and lick. I loved to taste him. The veins on his dick were turgid and prominent, his shaft white and sparkling with my saliva, the head of his dick invited my mouth for a loving visit...I waited no longer I swallowed as much of his dick as I could and sucked him out to the head and then back down. I swirled and wrapped my tongue around him getting his dick wetter and harder with each pass. I couldn't stand it any longer and lay back on the bed. Steven lifted my legs, my ass and my upper body like he was curling weights and in one motion I was lying in the middle of the bed with his very active tongue working over my clit. I had never had my pussy eaten before Steven -- I took a chance early on and told him what I needed and he was willing to bring me pleasure beyond the pain I had experienced. His willingness to be my lover not my 'fucker' changed my life. 

Steven brought me to a raging orgasm and he kept licking me until he rolled me up on my shoulders and teased my pussy lips with his dickhead. He rubbed his dick up and down my clit and my soaking wet pussy until I couldn't take it any longer and I screamed out, "Oh gawd Steven now! I need you in my pussy!" I was acting like a trashy slut from Dowling Street screaming out my needs but I needed that man's loving and he slid into my pussy in one long, slow stroke that caused me to gasp.

He grunted, "Oh Lissia your pussy is so wet...ohhh baby what're you doing to me?"

It was what he was doing to me our lovemaking started in Galveston he just didn't know it we were just going to have our orgasm here as he began pumping his big dick into my belly...his sweat was dripping off of his nose onto my tits, I was holding onto his arms as he pumped into me I could feel my orgasm cumming and my legs involuntarily wrapped around his waist as he began pistoning that big piece of man meat into my pussy with complete abandon. I came with a shout, "OH STEVEN!" I could feel my pelvis buck upward as he drove into me -- I couldn't get him deep enough as he rolled me onto my side where he could get a longer, deeper stroke and it didn't take but a few of his powerful thrusts before he shot his biggest load of cum into my already drenched pussy. His dick and balls kept spurting cum like a machine until his dick finally shrank out of my pussy. I leaned up on my elbows and looked down at his cum-covered shiny white dick laying against my very dark, shiny, cum drenched thigh. It was the most erotic thing I'd ever seen or have since. In that moment we went from the autoeroticism of sexual taboo to abiding love. We laid into one another's arms and kissed for a long time. He tenderly pushed the wild hairs back from my forehead, his eyes were gentle and sweet; beginning to fill with tears, we both heard in our hearts the music of Etta James singing, 'At Last.' Here was my forever love and I his...



The Professor Ch. 12



Our day in Galveston was my best day ever. As much as I hated to leave Lissia, I needed to go home and unload my books and get some rest. Lissia and I took a long while kissing good-bye I guess we were getting a preview of what our farewell would be like as I headed off to Ft. Benning in a few weeks. It was still light as I left and of course I got caught in the evening traffic so the drive took longer than anticipated but I got there in one piece. I went in to check on Dad; he was surprised to see me, "Steven! I'm glad you're home son. How was the day?"

I went over to him and got down on one knee and hugged him, "Thanks for everything Dad. It was a really great day." I leaned back and looked at him, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. I actually puttered around in the shop today," he was thrilled about that. "Steven I want you to have the boat when I'm gone," he announced clearly.

"Dad...I...I just don't want to think about that," I was getting a lump in my throat.

"Steven, you need to start thinking about what's around the bend for our family; your brothers can't do this – you have to – I'm sorry to put this on you but Son you pack the gear to do this okay?"

My eyes were welling up, "Yes sir I'll do my best to make you proud sir."

"So how is Phylissia?" he smiled.

"Oh Dad she's amazing. I don't know how to tell you..." I admitted as my heart pounded.

"Steven."

"Yes sir?"

"Marry her," he shocked me.

"We can't Dad – the laws of Texas won't allow it," my heart hurt as I told him that.

"Go north son, get married and bring your bride home to us," he was serious.

"I want that more than I want to live Dad," I confessed.

"I can see it all over you. I've never seen you like this and it's good for my heart to finally see you happy and not so obsessive about accomplishing your objectives yesterday. You need balance Son and she is that balance for you. Son she is razor sharp, beautiful and very accomplished you're a perfect match. Steven I want you to be happy. I love you Son. You've made your Momma and me very happy," those were more words than he'd ever strung together for me at one time in a very long time. He kissed me as I got up to retrieve my books, papers and the typewriter from the car.

I finally got everything into my room and filed into folders for the 'just-finished' school year. I began to change the typewriter ribbon and I opened my briefcase to retrieve the extra ribbon and there was the card from Lissia – she had written on the outside of the envelope, 'My Dearest Steven.' I opened the envelope and pulled out the card with a drawing of a single daisy on its front. I opened the card and found this, 

"My dearest Baby, the Love of my life – 

I had given up on happiness when you showed up at my office door. As I first laid eyes on you I had to catch my breath you were so confident and beautiful, not arrogant but comfortable with who you are. I love how you've come to love me; your gentle, sweet ways and your absolute honesty with me about everything. I thought God had forgotten about me but He showed me that I was wrong. Our first kiss was a lightning bolt for me. I knew I needed more than one kiss and one moment. Your persistent, loving ways broke down all of my resistance to love. Yesterday in front of those revered academics you handled yourself with such aplomb that you gave me pause to once again ask your age. Steven no matter what happens for the rest of our lives I will always love you. God sent you to me sweet man – I love you so – your Lissia." She had drawn a heart by her signature. 

The knot in my throat grew and my eyes burned. I was missing her greatly right now. I lay back on the bed and took a deep breath, "Oh God how do I deserve this woman?" I drifted off to sleep dreaming about us...

I slept for a while but awoke to the sound of someone knocking on the front door. Dad and I were the only two at home so I got up and went to the door opening it to find Lissia, dressed in a yellow sundress with a child-like look of being a little lost. I quickly opened the door and we hugged each other tightly, "Oh Lissia I fell asleep dreaming about you – I just read that beautiful card...I love you baby so much."

She was crying now, "Steven I felt so alone without you there I had to find you...is this alright?"

"It is! I am so happy right now," I took her hand and walked into the den where Dad and his pup were. "Dad, look who's here!"

He turned around and his face lit up, "Phylissia what a surprise! Come in here and let me hug you."

Lissia went over and kissed Dad, "Hi Major. I hope it's okay that I just showed up. I missed Steven so much."

He held her face with both hands as she held him tightly to her, "I just told Steven to marry you – of course it's more than okay."

The look of shock on her face was astonishing. She was getting weak in the knees as I reached over for her, "Come sit down – before you fall over." I sat in Mom's rocker and Lissia sat on the hassock, leaning back against me.

Dad shared his feelings about us to Lissia as she sat in complete shock, wiping her tears, "Major I don't know what to say..."

Dad smiled, "Phylissia we love you and what your love has done for Steven. He's always been a good boy, with good grades and very driven to succeed. But he's changed in here," he told her as he patted his chest, "And that is all you. When Steven called and said he was bringing a black girl home I was furious but I began to realize that he had followed my advice – be friends first, don't listen to other people about someone - you find out for yourself and he did what I taught him. When I saw the two of you together I knew your relationship with him was very sacred to Steven and that was enough for me."

She looked back to me, "I almost blew it with you...it was so close to my not finding the man of my dreams...I almost let my nasty pride get in the way..."

I kissed her right temple, "It didn't though did it?"

She smiled, "Do you see what he does to me Major? Every time I try to warn him about how close danger is he just smiles and waves it off as though it's just a warm breeze and not the fires of hell."

Dad smiled to her, "He's been that way since he could walk.

"Major I feel like a teenager chasing after Steven like this but I dearly love him," she was leaned back against me holding tenderly onto my arms.

"Phylissia, Steven and I talk about you every day. We have no secrets. He admires your courage and intelligence – that speaks volumes to you as the kind of woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Make no mistake about it when I told Marsha about you the first time she was on the verge of a stroke and then I told her how happy you've made Steven and she cried," she has been worried about him because he is so driven to succeed. I guess you've seen that haven't you?" he asked.

"Yes Major I have," she told him quietly.

"As far as we're concerned you're our family because Steven loves you and wants you to be his wife," he nodded his head emphatically, "so get used to us being worried about you because we love you too."

Lissia leaned back into me even further and I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her neck, whispering, "I love you baby so much."

Mom came home with a few groceries and we got up to help her. When she saw Lissia she practically ran to her, "Oh baby, Phylissia, thank you for coming to visit. You're staying for supper and no arguments," Mom was crying and Lissia held her close.

"Thank you Mrs. Edwards I'd love to stay," Lissia was as charmingly Southern as Mom. Mom asked me to go to Harwell's barbecue and pick up some brisket, links and potato salad while she and Lissia talked.

Dad stood up, "I'll ride with you Steven." He hung his arm around my shoulder as we walked over to the kitchen table to kiss our ladies. 

"How many are we feeding Mom?" I asked as I wondered where Hal and Georgie were hiding out.

"The four of us Steven – your brothers are going to the lake with their girl friends' families," so we'll be a small group tonight. I was relieved - I just didn't feel up to fighting with those two snakes.

I excused myself for a moment and took Lissia in my arms and kissed her, "I love you my baby. We'll be back in a little while," I held her tightly for a moment.

"I love you too Steven," she smiled weakly, "I already miss you." I nodded my agreement while Mom and Dad kissed.

It didn't take us long to drive to Harwell's but it was always good to be with Dad. We took our time at the restaurant while he drank a cold beer – a long-neck Falstaff. I knew Mom would be unhappy about that with all his medicine but it didn't matter – it was his one beer for the month. We chatted with Billy Harwell, Sr. – the family had been friends of ours for quite a while. We finally roused ourselves and paid for the barbecue, Billy didn't charge Dad for the beer. I just shook my head. Life was pretty slow-paced here, not like my go-go pace at school so I was feeling a bit antsy. We carried our barbecue treasures into the house where we found Lissia and Mom sitting in the den having a very deep and tearful conversation. I joined Lissia on the sofa and kissed her on the forehead whispering, "Hi baby." She leaned against me and took my arm. She had told Mom about the rape and why she wasn't comfortable visiting her family. They had reached the point of the discussion about her and me going to visit her family. Lissia was worried about the fallout.

Dad heard some of it and he filled in the blanks very quickly, "Would you like Marsha and me to go with you two?"

I spoke up before Lissia could, "I think it's something that I need to do Dad." I could feel Lissia trembling.

"Thank you Major...I...well...it should be easy to go home but there is too much history and too much pain there. I've run long enough and like Steven says 'we need to face this together," she half-heartedly agreed with me.

"May I ask you a question Phylissia?" Dad continued very quietly.

"Yes sir," she was listening to him now.

"Were the three fellas who raped you black?" he was blunt.

"Yes sir," she looked puzzled, "why do you ask?"

"Steven is white...they might see your love for him as an insult...maybe that no black man was good enough anymore," his words hung out there like a neon sign.

"I see what you're saying...I hadn't thought of that," she pursed her lips and leaned back against me reaching for my face blindly with her open hand.

I hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head.

Mom spoke up, "Phylissia we can be there with you to attest to your love for Steven."

She was nodding her head now, "I understand where you're coming from...I do. We can talk about this over supper can't we? I mean when I was growing up we solved our problems over the dinner table."

Dad smiled, "I'm hungry too." He stood up and held his hand out to Lissia and she took his hand and hugged him to her. He patted her face, "It'll be okay. Steven is rock solid and as you know quite fearless."

It was in that moment of Mom and Dad's conciliation that I realized how important complete honesty and openness is in a relationship. Intuitively I got that but this cemented it for me. 

Mom came over and put her arms around Lissia, "It's okay darling, like Pete said, we're watching out for you and Steven will be with you. He can get you in and out quickly if he needs to...trust him sweet daughter."

Lissia looked back to me and held her hand out to me taking my hand like a lifeline and coming closely to me, "Oh baby I am so afraid."

I held her tightly while Mom and Dad looked on, "I know you are – I can feel it. We'll get through this together. We ask lots of questions in our family. We have a pretty good sounding board – if you run away from it you lose out on the wisdom imparted through the homespun Socratic Method. You tell every single thing you need to make you comfortable as we go through this and we'll do our best to make it happen – that's my promise." I spoke ever-so-softly to her, "Lissia sweetheart, I love you more than my life itself. If they get to you it'll be because they gone through me. They get one chance to get it right with you – just like my brothers."

She looked up at me and patted my chest, whispering, "Okay, okay...I understand. I'm not gonna lie and tell you I think it'll be fine cause you'll see right through that...just know if I'm flaky or acting stupid it's cause I am getting a bit crazy over this and you'll need to calm me down," she slid her arms around my neck and I held her tightly.

I kissed her softly and she smiled up to me, "How about some brisket for a good Texas portion of comfort food?"

We all pitched in to set up the supper table while Dad took a chair. We gathered around the food with unsweetened tea and piping hot brisket and links and mustard potato salad. Mom said a blessing thanking God for Lissia. We ate and talked and we arrived at a plan of action. We were going this week – Saturday to see her parents. Mom told her she was staying with us tonight. It was a powerful evening.

LISSIA'S IMPRESSION...

When Steven went home after our day in Galveston I took a shower and felt so alone. I didn't realize how important a good relationship was until I had one. I'm not sure I washed everything while I was in the shower but I got to thinking 'girl you're just damn stupid for letting him go away like that – go get him.' So I did. I had the Edwards' address and I had a sort of idea where they lived so I dried off and grabbed some clothes and my pistol and headed toward that address. I cried half the way there I was so scared but I calmed down enough not to speed like Steven tells me 'don't add to the angst with more trouble.' I found the street on the first try and there was his car.

I could barely walk I was shaking so badly I never even thought about barging in on family time or anything like that I was here so what the hell. I knocked on the door. Nothing. Then the door opened and there he was, I almost collapsed on the porch. He was so excited to see me he forgot to unlatch the screen door and I was pulling on it. All of my academic life we dealt with the pain of unrequited love – I had NEVER experienced requited love. Listen to me this is powerful – you lose your appetite and you just can't focus – at least I couldn't. Steven on the other hand gets even more focused so he can get done to spend time together. Anyway he took me into his big ol' arms and squeezed the breath out of me. He took me back to see the Major and he sure was glad to see me – I was in shock – I was ready to have to wade through a mile of 'what-the-hell-are-you-doing-here-stares-and-such.' I was wrong again – damn it and was so relieved too. The Major hugged me like his child and while I was still standing he told me that he told his man-child to marry me. I almost fell over. Steven guided me to an ottoman in front of him and I sat there leaning against him trying to get my breath.

We talked for a while when Mrs. Edwards came home. That lady is something else again now. She set her groceries down and came running to put hands on me. She hugged me and kissed me like I was her child. I'd find out later that she always wanted a daughter. I picked at her a bit and told her, "yeah but you didn't know she'd be black did you?" She froze and then started laughing so hard she was crying.

She patted my hand, "No I didn't but I wouldn't change a thing Phylissia." And just like that she had me like a deer in the headlights. We got on pretty well I'd say and she shooed Steven and the Major to a barbecue joint up the road for supper. Now let me say something about the Edwards family – they know seafood and they know barbecue cause what they brought back was a piece of heaven. Anyway Mrs. Edwards and I talked – I told her about the rape and she started crying, bless her heart. Then she got mad. That little woman stood up on her heels and crowed her contempt. Hell she had a righteous fire in her belly, pissed me off all over again. Steven and the Major got back in time to hear the rest of my telling and the Major was quite indignant and would have started World War III if we'd a let him. They gathered their family circle around me so tightly I feared for anyone who messed with me. Any fear about my skin color was so far gone it didn't leave footprints. (Steven's laughing at me right now because of my 'narrative' as he calls it. Okay I need a kiss I'll be right back. That was a three hour interlude...don't ask. I love me some Steven).

Mrs. Edwards told me I was staying the night. I didn't argue with her. I really needed to be close to Steven. Steven'll tell you how that all worked out. We figured out a plan for me to go home with Steven and tell my family. I was so scared for Steven – I know these people and they trust very few white folk 'cept for Mr. Bob Kleinschmidt. The Major said Steven could handle and he trusted him to do that. He was that sure of his son's ability. I was beginning to think I was marrying superman or as the Germans call them, Übermensch. I get distracted if Steven is in the room so I had to trust him. We talked for hours sitting at that table right up to the point of having some homemade peach ice cream that they had made a few days ago. 

Then the Major said something that floored me and stunned Steven, "Look I know the two of you are very much in love. Why don't you pull out that sleeper sofa and sleep there tonight? That doesn't mean you're to have sex. I can see how upset you both are and I think you need to hold each other tonight." I couldn't speak and Steven, bless him, was turning every shade of red under God's sun. 

Mrs. Edwards looked at me, "We know that if it was legal in Texas for you to be married that you would be right now. I know how I'd feel if I were in your shoes Phylissia. Besides I have some PJ's you can wear they button all the way up to your nose." Evie would never believe this – not in a million years – not that her nosey-ass would ever find out.

MY WORDS AGAIN...

A word about the interlude (that was 7/6/2012 – Lissia is sitting here laughing as I write this – she is incorrigible). I still love her and her ways...

Anyway our night was quiet and calming for both of us. I showed her my tiny bedroom that I shared with Georgie. She was astonished at all the books and files. I told her I was a geek in high school and then showed her my yearbooks of course I had to show her my football and track pictures. She read all the comments in my yearbooks – laughing at my naïveté. I let her have some fun – she got to the honors page and pointed, "Valedictorian?"

I nodded and turned the page for her, "Let's move on okay? Besides you're gonna hafta to show me yours."

"My what?"

"You know what...your yearbooks," I winked at her, "I've seen everything else."

She grinned sheepishly, "I'm a total slut for you...damn it...but I love you so much...I just can't help myself."

"Can a guy be a total slut for his girl?"

She howled, "Why not? You're very good at it too."

"Easy baby," I pointed to my dick as it started swelling.

"Yikes," she smiled, "we have to be careful."

We got up and went into the den where Mom was waiting with some PJ's and a robe for Lissia, "You can change in the middle bedroom whenever you're ready for bed. Steven can pull out the sleeper sofa. The sheets and pillows are in the hall linen closet Steven."

Lissia took the PJ's and the robe, "Thank you Mrs. Edwards. I think I'll change now."

"Come on let me show you the bathroom and the bedroom," they left Dad and me alone.

Dad was grinning, "Be careful tonight Son. Your Momma is struggling with this one."

I promised him, "I will Dad," I sat down on the hassock opposite him. "Thank you for trusting me," I nodded to him.

He was solemn, "I am guessing the rape ruined her child-bearing."




The Professor Ch. 12



That was the second time tonight he'd been so dead on – my eyes smarted and burned. I got choked up, "Yes sir," I could barely speak.

He leaned forward and patted my arm, "I know this is difficult. She is a sweet woman who dearly loves you. You two can rise above this Son."

"I know Dad but it hurts my heart that someone would do that to her," I confided.

"That's what was on your heart the other night wasn't it," he probed me.

"Yes sir," I was sullen.

"Steven she won't like it one little bit if you go on the prod for her family – even though they're estranged and there are hard feelings they're still her family – don't forget it," he warned me.

We talked until Mom and Lissia came out all buttoned up wearing a robe and the PJ's. It was late. Mom and Dad kissed us goodnight and I retrieved the bed linens and pillows. Lissia and I made up the sleeper sofa afterward I changed into my PJ's and a robe which I never wore. We got under the covers and talked for several hours. I told her what I promised Dad – she was so sweet about it, "We should be respectful of your parents." It was the first time that we spent the night together.

We slept like farm hands – we had had a full day. I let her sleep the next morning while I made coffee and started browning bacon and beating the eggs to scramble. The aroma of the freshly brewed coffee woke her up. I went over and kissed her good morning – she was an early riser and got up quickly and began stripping the bed, folding the sheets and we folded the sofa bed into the frame. In a few minutes she came back out face washed and wearing her sun dress. We had breakfast with Dad and she headed home. I told her I would see her in a few hours to finish the lawn. Mom and Dad were very loving toward Lissia – they were worried about her too for fear of what Dad had asked about her not thinking that black men were worth the effort.

I spoke at length to Mom and Dad while they ate breakfast. They both wanted to make sure that I knew that they wanted to go with us on Saturday. I thanked them but told them we'd call if we needed them. I got up and got changed to go work on Lissia's lawn; told Mom and Dad goodbye and headed out. 

When I got to Lissia's she said she had a doctor's appointment and would be back in a few hours. She sort of left abruptly - without a kiss. I wondered what had happened. I mowed, raked and trimmed the lawn; collected the grass clippings and began laying out the beds with an old garden hose cutting in the outline with a foot-driven edger – it looks like a flattened out hoe with a quarter moon-shaped blade. I had cut the shape in and was digging out the first cut with a mattock when she pulled into the driveway. She got out of her car and ran over to me in tears.

"What's wrong baby?"

"I...I...I'm so sorry," she bawled.

"For what?" I led her to the swing on the porch.

"Oh Steven I had this terrible burning in my vagina...I thought...oh I'm so embarrassed," she wasn't making any sense. "I thought you have given me a disease," she spat out.

It was like a punch in the stomach, "What!? I've never had sex before us." I was stunned.

"I know...I am sorry please forgive me?" she begged.

"How could you think that of me," I asked her quietly.

"Oh Steven, please listen to me...I got so scared," she begged me, "please listen to me I need to tell you everything."

She opened her purse and handed me her prescription bottle and I read the label, 'Take one 250 mg capsule four times a day for cystitis. Stay out of the sun. Drink plenty of fluids.' I looked at her, "What is cystitis?"

"Dr. Andres called it 'honeymoon cystitis' – it's a urinary tract infection from too much sex," she confessed.

I felt awful for several reasons one was the obvious distrust she had of me and the other that she was in pain from this infection, "Let's get you in out of the sun baby." We went just inside the door and I kissed her sweetly, "Let me finish this work and we can talk – is that okay I asked her?"

After I finished the lawn layout and digging the new flower beds I quit for the day taking a seat on the front steps to pull off my soggy boots. I had gotten my 'sweat towel' from the car and was mopping my face when Lissia brought ice water out to me, "Here baby," as she handed me the water. She sat the pitcher down next to me then took a seat by my side. 

"Thank you sweetheart," I breathed out. I was exhausted today; the heat, humidity and in part the emotional strain had beat me down. I poured some ice water on the towel and draped it over my head.

Lissia was upset, "Steven I am sorry for the way I acted. I made an assumption that was damned wrong will you forgive me?"

I looked at her sadness and saw both pains. I held herr sweet sorrow in my hands and kissed her lips, "Of course – Lissia I love you so much I can't help but forgive you – you're my life. I want no one else. You have to know how much it hurts me to see you suffering and to also think that you would think that I'd cheat on you or lie to you. I got a double-whammy."

She threw her arms around my sweaty neck and shoulders, "Oh baby I know it...I really do – I wish I could take back what I thought...but it's like my daddy said once 'when you slap someone's face they never forget it.' I am so sorry for hurting you..."

I kissed her slowly, her kiss was very passionate. I'd never known the kiss of forgiveness before. It's not like the one of lust; it's like your souls are exploring one another to make sure that all the anger and hurt has gone away and you want to make it right with each other. We sat holding each other on the steps, with a cold, sweating water pitcher between us. When we relaxed our hold Lissia took the towel from my head and poured some cold water on it, wrung it out and dabbed its coolness on all the hotspots on my face and head. Finally she whispered, "Let's go in and get you cleaned up – I don't want you working any more today even if you do it to relieve your tension baby. You need a shower and some iced tea and I need my Steven."

She had me. I stood up taking the water pitcher with me. I put my sweaty arm around her and she pulled me tightly to her. Love means warts and all; not some of the times but all of the times when it is hard to say 'I love you'. I learned again.

After I showered and changed into the 'extra clothes' I always carried for after the lawn work Lissia and I sat in the shade on the side porch on her glider. I put my feet up on a cable spool she had appropriated for a 'coffee table' and she laid with her head in my lap and her knees bent. The windows were open in the house and we could hear the record player as it offered Etta's sad, sweet voice to us. We worked through how we'd resolve those thorny issues like the one that just happened. We both knew that our growing edge was caution which translates into trust. This meant that everything had to come out into the open or we'd have no chance as a couple. We committed ourselves to making that growing edge our strength and not our weakness. We talked about Saturday and how we'd approach meeting her Mom and Dad and we devised our plan.

"Steven I don't know if I can abstain from sex for a week," she confessed.

"I know...the truth is I'm addicted to your sweet lovin'," I grinned and kissed her nose and then her lips. "But you have to remember what the doc said...I don't want this infection to become a bladder infection or kidney disease."

We roused ourselves and ran a few errands and stopped by the nursery to pick up the first round of plants for the beds. The folks at the nursery were surprised by our pairing – we obviously weren't a yardman and his client. No one said anything or refused to help us but the tension and shock was palpable. We just smiled and were gracious as they helped us load the plants and organic materials into the trunk of my car. Back at the house we unloaded everything – we had a light supper and lounged around for a while. I went home around ten – kissing her slowly and thoroughly goodnight.

Friday was spent planting and talking and getting ready for Saturday. As I left Friday night we agreed that I would meet Lissia at 0630 to drive to her parents' farm an hour and a half away. About 10:30 Friday evening Lissia called me to tell me that she had talked with her Momma and told her that 'we' were coming. Her Momma told her to 'come on home' even if she was bringing 'blue eyes'. Mothers are the same everywhere – they love their babies even if they bring their troubles home with them. Lissia and talked for about an hour. Mom and Dad talked with her a bit too, just for some assurance that everything would be alright. Lissia was gravitating in trust toward my parents and I like that a lot. I was proud of where my parents had come in their trust of me and their love for Lissia – I wouldn't have believed it could happen but it was right in front of my eyes. I told her, "Good night baby. I love you. I hope you know that and I will do whatever we need to do to keep us safe and happy."

My sleep was non-existent. I tossed and turned like a fish on a hook. When I finally got up around four my bed looked like it had been tied into knots. I made it up and got into my running clothes for a short run. I put the coffee pot on and took off in the still, humid South Texas air. I finally blew through the barrier of physical tiredness to a refreshing place that has become known as a 'runner's high.' I walked the last two hundred yards to the house and went inside to shower and shave. Dad and Mom were up. I kissed them good morning and we had breakfast together. All the words had been spoken about safety and love and perseverance. They trusted my decision-making and told me as I left for Lissia's to bring her back here for the night. They were determined to keep her heart comforted. I told them I would. 

I got to Lissia's at 0600. She was waiting for me. She'd had the same kind of restless night as I did. We met on her porch and held each other tightly – her body felt fragile and tiny in my arms as she trembled slightly, "Oh Steven thank you. I'm so happy to see you baby." We kissed passionately and she held onto me as though I was leaving forever.

"I love you Lissia – you're mi Corazon," I didn't smile much I was tense as well. "How is the cystitis this morning?"

She smiled a little, "It still hurts but I'm taking my medicine...Steven I'm so sorry for the way I acted to you about that...I feel so awful baby...I know how wrong I am for thinking that," she was still smarting from the sharpness of her own rebuke.

"Baby we're okay. You and I didn't know each other very well when we first made love did we?" I asked her.

She shook her head with her lips in a tight grimace, "No we didn't."

"So did you know for absolute certain that I was a virgin or that I was clean?" I pushed a scary line.

"No I guess not," she whispered, "but Steven that's twice I could have lost you and this one would have been the worst."

"But it didn't happen did it?" I smiled to her as I watched her heart aching.

"You're right," she kissed me sweetly and passionately and we held each other closely.

I parted us, "Baby how about packing a small bag with some overnight clothes? Mom and Dad..."

She pointed to her bag on the floor, "I did already. I called your house to see if you'd left and your sweet Momma told me to pack some clothes for church that I was coming home with you."

I breathed out, "Oh my God." 

I bent over with my hands on my knees and she grabbed me, "Steven! Baby are you okay?!"

I stood up nodding, "Yeah I just had a moment there. Anxiety. I'd get these before big games. I'll be okay."

She hugged me, "We don't have to go..."

I put my finger to her lips this time and she blinked and her intensity softened as she whispered, "I forgot who I was with for a moment – a real man."

"For a real woman," I smiled, "Let's go baby and show your parents who we are."

We took my car up US290 toward Hempstead and turned onto FM3346 and then to FM1887 for about a mile or so. The road leading up to their farm was about a mile long, "Is this your Daddy's land?"

"Yeah all this on both side of Wright Road," she traced her finger along the fields, "there's some pickers out there now looks like the cantaloupes are coming in."

This is a big farm, "How many acres does your Dad farm?"

"Well among he and his brothers they farms about 1800 and the other 1400 or so is pasture and coastal Bermuda grass for hay," she was very casual.

"This is a big spread," I noted aloud but mostly to myself.

"I don't miss it," she growled, taking my hand, "it's not too late to turn back baby."

Her hands were damp and I looked at her face, bead of perspiration had popped out on her upper lip and it was quivering, "We'll do this together baby."

The farm house was big with a wraparound porch, now I understood why she had one for her own home. There was a huge red gravel parking area that accommodated pick up trucks, two ton dump trucks and all sorts of farm implements and wagons. There were six outbuildings – four of which were pole barns for hay and melons. The other two were for some horses and a few milk cows plus their rolling stock. This was a three storage silo farm – nothing cheap here, "I raised my eyebrows. I guess we're here."

She winced, "Yep," and let out a long breath. We left the windows cracked to let the heat out but keep the flies out as well. 

I got out and went around to her door and held it for her, "Let's go baby – it's show and tell time."

"Well it looks like you got yourself an early riser baby," it was her Momma, Elsbeth Mercy Wright. She ran up the steps to her Momma and hugged her, crying on her shoulder, her Momma patting her back as I walked up behind her, "Now, now baby girl you home now, ain't nothing to it okay?" 

I waited patiently smiling to her Momma with no reciprocation from Miss Elsbeth as she preferred to be called. Finally Lissia and her Momma let loose of one another, "Momma this is Steven Edwards. Steven this is my Momma."

I took off my straw Resistol® and extended my hand, "Good morning Mrs. Wright, it's a pleasure to meet you ma'am."

She half-smiled, "Likewise Mr. Edwards."

"Please call me Steven ma'am," I smiled

"Uh huh, I will Steven," it sounded like she was trying to get a hair off of her tongue when she uttered my name.

Great start. Lissia took my hand, "Where's Daddy Momma?"

She tossed her head to the side, "At the pole barns if you want to see him."

"Momma let's us sit down for a minute...we need to talk," Lissia was squeezing the feeling out of my fingers.

We sat at the kitchen table and Lissia poured us each some coffee. Mrs. Wright watched me suspiciously as she measured out four teaspoons of sugar into her coffee. She made it the way I enjoy it – strong. I took a swig and nodded.

She smiled, "Like that black coffee like you like your women Mister?"

"How's that's ma'am?" I asked her.

"Strong, hot and black?" she grinned.

I blushed, "Yes ma'am I guess that's very true – great metaphor."

She rolled her eyes, "Oh child not another one of those book heads."

Lissia laughed, "Hardly just a book head Momma. Stephen works three and four part-time jobs to pay for his education – he's not a stranger to hard work Momma."

"Well I didn't know if those Lee Riders, boots and hat were for show or not," she stared at me.

"If I can't use these clothes to work in, go to school in or go to church in I don't own them," I told her.

"What about that fancy hat?" she pushed it.

"Dad gave it to me for Christmas. I wear it when I'm going to nice places ma'am...when I need to look presentable," I smiled thinly.

She looked dead at me, "You bedding my baby girl?"

"Mrs. Wright I respect you because you're Phylissia's mother and you're my elder. My parents raised me to be a gentleman. I won't discuss with you or any other person the details of my relationship with Phylissia – I love her. If she wants you to know something Mrs. Wright she can tell you whatever she wants to but I don't talk and I'd prefer it ma'am if we could keep our conversation polite," I was getting provoked and I knew it but this was Phylissia. My parents never embarrassed Phylissia.

Lissia looked at her Momma, "I tried to warn you Momma. Don't mess with him. I told you that I told Steven about the rape and what it did to me and as you can see he didn't run away like you said. Momma I don't want this to be a fight. I love Steven – he is respectful and loving to me and his parents told me that because their son loves me that they love me – that they trust him to do the right thing always and you know what Momma? He does and I do too."

Her Momma's eyes began tearing up, "Oh child I never thought I'd see the day when you'd fall in love with anyone..." her voice trailed off.

"You mean especially a white man Momma," she pushed her Momma.

Her Momma nodded and blubbered out, "Yes."

"The truth is Momma Major Edwards challenged me to think about if I was dating Steven because no black man was good enough for me. I can answer that today easily. I date Steven because I am in love with him..." she was crying now too.

"Mrs. Wright, Lissia and I are going to be married even if we have to go to Maine or New York to get married we will. The state of Texas is wrong not to allow us to get married and if you're against our marriage on the basis of our racial difference then you're no better than those legislators who make up those irrational laws," I held my ground.

I had gotten her attention, "You know how many babies been born to black women that white slave masters put in 'em?"

"I have no idea. But I have to tell you something - I know a little bit about slavery and black landowners and this farm has been around a while. I suspect that this is not a 'forty acres and a mule' farm there's way too much land. Which one of your great grandparents was the free black owner of this land? I don't gamble Mrs. Wright but I smell a rat here and you're playing a game with me," I stared at her and she looked at her coffee stirring it furiously.

"Momma?" Lissia spoke sharply to her Momma. "Steven asked you a question. You always told me that it was rude not to answer when we're asked a question," Lissia pushed hard.

She nodded and looked at me, "You're a smart boy aren't you Mr. Edwards? Did Lissia tell you about our family?"

"No ma'am I had no idea how big your spread was and to answer the smart part of your question – I read a lot and that is an area of American history that gets overlooked especially when it doesn't fit the political agendas of the day. You see I know that there were black confederate units that fought at Fredericksburg," I watched her swallow hard.

"Steven is a history and mathematics major Momma – Dean's List – working on his bachelors and masters degrees at the same time. So you can't bullshit him Momma. I didn't tell him about our family except the rape part – the part that has torn me out of this family," her heart was breaking. I rubbed her back as she held onto my other hand. I never heard Mr. Wright come in but I stared at him. He's a tall, broad shoulder, dark skinned man with big, hard working hands and a steady gaze. Lissia saw him and didn't stand, "Hi Daddy this is Steven. Steven this is my Daddy Mr. Cyrus Wright."

I stood and extended my hand and he actually shook it, "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Wright." He didn't smile or blink he just sat down – Elsbeth got up and poured him some coffee.

"Why are you here Mr. Edwards? You trying to rub our nose in the dirt?" he was insolent.

"Why would I do that Mr. Wright?" I pushed him.

"Well you some rich white boy got lucky with our Ph.D. daughter and you think you can waltz in here like you own this place acting all high and mighty?" he glared at me.




The Professor Ch. 12



"I haven't been rude to you on your land Mr. Wright so there's no need for your rudeness to me sir. I will tell you what I told your wife and you can pass this along to Phylissia's brothers and sisters too '"Mr. Wright I respect you because you're Phylissia's father and because you're my elder. My parents raised me to be a gentleman. I will not discuss with you or any other person the details of my relationship with Phylissia – I love her. If she wants you to know something Mr. Wright she can tell you whatever she wants to but I won't talk about our relationship except to tell you that I love your daughter with all of my heart and it is my intention to marry her - I'd much prefer it if we could keep our conversation polite sir," they both had their chance. Lissia's hand tightened on my forearm. "Lissia didn't want to come here sir. She was scared to do this exactly for the reasons that you are exhibiting right now. She's your daughter. You've treated her as badly as any other townie who knew about her rape. I know that she wouldn't get a chance to be a proper wife isn't that right sir?"

Both of her parents look apoplectic. Lissia was silent. I stared at her parents, "Well?"

"You think you know shit Mr. Edwards but you don't know what it's like," he argued and then shut up.

"Teach me what I don't know don't just clam up sir. Are you a coward who let's other people tell him how he's to treat his own child?" that one cut him and he started to cry.

He looked at Lissia, "I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry, child will you forgive me for how I've treated you?"

Lissia was up and on her feet. She knelt down next to her Daddy and put her arms around him, "Yes Daddy I love you and Momma. Please don't shut me out. What Kevin and his buddies did was wrong but it was just as wrong for you to treat me like I had a disease for the rest of my life." Her Momma got up and put her arms around both of them. I leaned back and watched with tears rolling down my face.

I couldn't believe what had happened. Mr. Wright looked up and held his right hand out to me, "thank you Steven for bringing my baby back and slapping some sense into my stubborn-assed head."

I took his hand, "She loves you and Mrs. Wright sir. She just wants to be loved."

They held each other for a while. There were quite a few 'sorry's' and 'forgive-me's' and finally Lissia stood up and came over to me and sat in my lap. She kissed me on the mouth in front of her parents who by now were sitting with their chairs next to each other holding hands wiping each others tears. There would necessarily be a lot more of these family gatherings where they needed to mend some bridges.

Mr. Wright looked at me, "You got some balls on you Mr. Edwards. I carry a pistol I coulda shot you."

"Maybe," I smiled as I pulled a little .38 snub-nosed Smith from my boot holster and held it up, "I carry too sir."

He started laughing, "Damn Momma that's a serious young man!"

She slapped him on the chest, "Oh I know it he didn't take any shit off me either." 

The three of us talked for a while. Her parents asked a lot of questions and while they were sure they were going to butt heads with me they were equally as sure that Lissia wasn't going to tolerate any bad behavior on their part. She didn't want to stay for lunch and deal with her cousins and uncles who always ate on the farm at lunch. We said our goodbyes for a while – her parents shocked me by shaking my hand and hugging my neck – telling me to come back. They held onto Lissia for a while and finally she told them, "We've got to go Momma, the Edwards have invited me to church with them tomorrow." 

It was a parting bombshell.



The Professor Ch. 13



Lissia and I left her parents' farm with a deep sigh of relief. Lissia said it best, "I can't wait to get home...that was so hard. I need to be in your arms Steven," she held onto my hand with both of hers, her feet pulled under her on the bucket seat, watching me as I drove. We stopped in Hockley to eat some lunch at a barbecue joint that Lissia knew about. We sat in the car for a little while so she could get her composure back.

"How're you doing baby," I needed to know. I could see she was on the verge of pouring out her tears as I pulled a handkerchief from my hip pocket, "Here sweetheart." 

She took it and dabbed her eyes, "Thank you baby for being with me this morning. I'm sorry for the way they treated you – that was wrong...so wrong," she shook her head from side to side and pursed her lips with the corners turning down as she dabbed at her reddening eyes.

"Lissia I love you sweetheart more than I love life itself. I never want them to hurt you again. I hope I wasn't too hard on them," I offered.

She looked at me, "Oh Steven no one has ever defended me like that. Daddy is the most feared black man in Waller County and you backed him down and told him what I've felt all of my life but didn't have the guts to tell him and when you pulled that pea shooter outta your boot and lordy that room got quiet...you could of cut the silence with a knife...a dull one too. No baby you sealed our standing with my family. They won't fuck with you. The Major said that you're fearless – he's right...bravest man I've known. The Army's getting a good man who'll be fine leader."

"I just don't want your parents hating you or pushing you away because of me," I was truly worried. I was looking in her daddy's eyes when I showed him my pistol...he wasn't exactly thrilled that I brought a gun but he did yield a bit of respect to me for thinking that far in advance. 

We talked for a while until she felt she could go inside. I got out and went around to her side of the car and opened the door, taking her hand in mine, "Thank you Steven. You treat me like a lady and not like the tramp who waved her panties at you," she teased me.

"You are a lady. I like it that you want me romantically and sexually," I kissed her cheek and she squeezed my hand.

We ordered our food at the counter and paid for it along with two ice-cold Barq's root beers in long neck bottles. We ate brisket and links on butcher paper with plastic forks and knives. No sauce just a couple of pieces of Mrs. Baird's white bread on the side. We were both hungry. I think that high pressure situations and the aftermath create a need to feed and we did. Lissia started laughing, "Here we are eating Texas comfort food again."

She is so beautiful when she laughs. I hadn't gotten to see her laugh very much. She is so relaxed and stunning when she enjoys herself. She smiled and talked more freely at this moment than at any time since we'd met. There was an enormous weight lifted off of her shoulders and well...mine too for that matter. We finished our lunch and got back in the car heading for her home. She sang and hummed songs of all sorts as we rode along enjoying the time together. "Steven?"

"Yes baby?"

"I know Dr. Andres said to wait on the sex but I need to be naked with you," she knew what she wanted with us and I had told her to let me know what she wanted and I would do that so...

"Okay but promise me if this is painful that we'll stop," I urged her.

"I'm not saying I will or won't but I just need my man right now," she whispered and stroked my forearm, staring at me...I felt very conspicuous.

The ride to her home went quickly. We went in and locked the door, turned on the overhead fans and held each other, kissing and professing our love. Each of her kisses was getting progressively hotter and wetter with her tongue and mine wrestling for lingual dominance...I think it was a draw that ended with us naked on her bed and me with a raging hard on. I was trying my best to take it easy but she is so wonderful and so loving that her sexuality broke down any resistance that may have been there. I had told her I was addicted to her loving – I am. Her body, like mine, has a unique aroma to it that draws me like a moth to a flame – pheromones are so subtle because they comingle with body odors – the good kind – the sexual aroma that drives me crazy. When we got on that bed I took a nosedive into her pubic hair and began licking my way down to her pussy...

"Uh...baby?" I looked up at her smiling face and she was pointing to her lips forming a kiss...I told you I was horny. I crawled up her gorgeous body and sank my tongue into her mouth and kissed her with all that I had, my dickhead was pressed against her pussy lips and she wiggled and rolled her pussy up to engulf my hard dick. She gasped, inhaling, "Ohhhh....yeah...oh Steven."

I froze, "Are you okay?"

Her face relaxed and that sensual smile crossed her lips as she whispered, "Oh yes baby...make love to me baby we've had the foreplay at the farm..."

I was learning what constituted foreplay and it's not all the stuff we've read in books, or heard in the boy's bathroom or the sexual experts tell us – foreplay starts when we get to that place mentally with one another where we admire, love and desire being with that person emotionally and physically and that events where our visceral strengths that are so attractive to one another get put on display. You begin making love to a woman mentally and emotionally before you ever lay hands on her and it can't be contrived or pretended – your pheromones reveal your desire.

I inhaled her scent and kissed her as she slid her long, brown legs around my waist locking them behind my knees. We hadn't had sex in a few days so we were both horny it didn't take long for my first orgasm to churn up my hard dick. She was grinding against me trying to get as much of me inside of her as she could and I was trying but failing to be careful – she has this amazing pussy that contracts and squeezes my dick that just tore me up. Our huffing and puffing sounded like a pair of racing locomotives trying to get that orgasm first. We were sweating like racehorses with a slap-slap-slap rhythm of my balls smacking against her sweet ass with every down stroke, she only added to the rhythmic calamity her grunting with each stroke and suddenly she cried out, "OH GAWD!" 

She came like a burst reservoir and her orgasm triggered mine, "OH LISSIA...OH BABY! CUMMING!" My load and her flood joined forces and drenched her, me and the bed linens. 

She relaxed her legs, panting out in hoarse whispers, "Okay...okay...okay...that's what I needed...it's burning now..."

I pulled out of her and she hugged me tightly, "Oh Steven Michael Edwards I love you so much...,"she whimpered.

I held onto her for dear life whispering back, "I love you sweet Lissia my sweetheart and love."

We held each other for a while until I brushed some hair away from her face and kissed her glowing nose and lips. She smiled, "Hi baby."

"Hi."

"I think I need to take two antibiotics just in case," she confided, "I'll be okay don't worry okay sweetie?"

That's like asking the sun not to shine, "Sure," I told her in a very unconvincing tone.

"Really, it just burns a little," she tried to convince me.

Lissia got up and went to the medicine cabinet and I followed her, "Okay is there anything else you can do to relieve the burning besides the antibiotic?"

She pointed to a jar on the shelf above the sink – 'Massengil', "I'll mix some with water and use the douche to at least take the immediate burn away – baby I promise you it only burns a little it's nothing like the other day – seriously – I wouldn't lie to you," she pleaded.

I kissed her and massaged her beautiful ass cheeks, "Okay. I'll take a shower while you take care of that...unless you need me to help you."

She hugged me and kissed me, "Steven baby there are certain things a woman needs to do alone and this is one of those and as much as I love you and want to be with you every minute that I can be – I got this one..." she winked.

I showered and got dressed then proceeded to pull the sheets off the bed along with the mattress pad and tossed them into the washer. Lissia came in while I was starting the laundry, "Steven, baby I would have done that." She hugged me from behind while I set the washer for its cycle, "You're spoiling me."

"You deserve to be spoiled you're my baby and I want you to feel loved beyond measure," I turned and looked at her as her eyes clouded with tears, "oh sweet Steven you keep doing these things to me that just steal me away from reality. Everything I was taught growing up flies in the face of how you treat me...I...well no one would believe this at all...men in our community expect women to be at their beck and call with food, laundry and babies and whatever else." She held me close and kissed my neck and began softly singing, 'At last my love has come along my lonely days are over and life is like a song...' – it had become our song, her sweet voice and profound love were mesmerizing me...she was beautiful, intelligent and talented...I mean what more could I ask for oh...and she loved me back.

After she showered, we picked up her suitcase and got into my car for the ride to my parents' house. I felt her watching me the whole way. At one point I smiled to her, "Hi beautiful," she made me happy.

"Hello my handsome Texas man, my fearless knight," she stroked my right hand and smiled as the afternoon air breezed through the open window of the Super Sport. We got a few stares at our small town stop lights. At one of the lights we saw my high school track coach who waved with his mouth hanging open. "You just keep smiling like this is normal," she laughed.

"It's normal for us isn't it," I pushed the point.

She slowly shook her head, "Steven, Steven, Steven what am I gonna do with you?" 

I got quiet, "Love me Lissia that's all I want."

"Then you've got what you want because I love you forever," her voice got very quiet and assured, "there is no one like you anywhere – I want no other man and this isn't about your race or what happened to me it's about us Steven – you're my everything. I love who you are down to the last freckle on your chin."

As I pulled into my parents driveway I stopped and leaned over and kissed her, the lingering sweet and very emotional kiss of two star-crossed lovers whose destiny was being written as we kissed and dreamed, "My Lissia, my love thank you and thank God for you for coming into my life. I am so proud of you and your courage to be willing to love me so openly. I'm proud of how you went home today to face down the 'haints' of your life. I'm proud of your willingness to forgive what hurt you so deeply in the worst of all circumstances. I'm thrilled that you came to find me the other night and that my parents trust you and love you like their own flesh. You're my wife in spite of what Texas says..."

She inhaled a whimper, whispering, "Oh Steven you did it again baby...I can't go in your parents' house all blubbery and teary-eyed...that you regard me as your wife just salves my wounded heart...I love you my husband."

I looked up and saw the front door open with Mom and Dad standing in the doorway waiting for us.

LISSIA TALKS ABOUT 'GOING HOME'

You need to know that I was scared shitless about going home. I was scared for Steven no matter how brave he was nor how confident he or his parents were about his ability I was sure he was gonna die...there was no doubt in my mind...but I knew I'd be there with him if that happened. I was afraid he didn't know what he didn't know about my family...damn it. I should have trusted him but his actual age didn't really give him credit for his maturity – intellectually and emotionally. He was a 50 year old man in a 20 year old body...how the hell did that happen? Anyway the whole ride there was terrifying for me...Steven just took it in stride like it was what we had to do today so let's go get it done. My stomach churned over and over like I needed to retch. I had that bile taste in my mouth half the day. Watching Steven drive to our destiny I thought forward for him in the Army – I just knew he'd be a fine soldier. And that scared the shit out of me too.

When we got to the farm everything was familiar, the smells, the sounds and the emotions of fear and anger and betrayal. I could barely stifle what I was feeling. I was so upset and then I'd look at my baby - calm and confident knowing damn well it was all under control and I thought, 'if he only knew what the fuck he was driving into he'd turn and run.' But that ain't even in his makeup – the man doesn't run from shit. He told me one time it was because he couldn't outrun danger so he'd just stand and duke it out. My heart hurt so badly I had the flight instinct.

Steven opened the door for me and when I saw Momma on the porch holding her hands out to me telling me to come to her I ran to her open arms and she hugged me and patted my back...loving on me like everything was okay. Mom was rather chilly toward Steven almost mocking him. Then we went inside and it got worse when we sat to coffee – she embarrassed him with her comment about liking his coffee like he liked his women 'strong, black and hot' and Steven didn't miss a beat he smiled and agreed. I warned her not to fuck with him cause he's no kid when it comes to quick – she kept pushing it and asked him if he was bedding me. He very politely said that gentlemen don't talk about their ladies so don't ask and he stated as plain as day that we were getting married he didn't ask her permission he told her what we were doing. She tried that righteous indignation with him – that shit don't fly. Then she made the grievous mistake of trying to fake him out about the farm. He asked a few questions and Momma was running like hell. He found us out real quick. Great granddaddy was a free black man who was propertied and wealthy – he also financed a 'colored artillery unit' in Virginia. The other great granddaddy was a landowner in Louisiana - free black as well – no slave history in our family. That's one of the reasons our family was held in high regard in Waller County. Momma tried to bullshit Steven and he found her out and she tried a different approach with him. 

Then Daddy came in and tried his best to push Steven around and Steven called his bluff too. So Steven jumped his ass about how he'd treated me after the rape and wouldn't let him up and flat-ass told him he wouldn't put up with his bullshit either. Steven was as calm as anyone I've ever known. The hotter it got in that kitchen the calmer he seemed to get. At one point Daddy told him he had a pistol and coulda shot him and with me sitting in his lap Steven pulled a .38 outta his boot and held it up and told Daddy with a sweet smile that he coulda, maybe, but that he carried too. Daddy liked that – I think he liked the fact that Steven has a pair of cast iron balls or cajones. Steven held me in his lap and let them know that I was his woman and that he was my man. I don't know if there was ever a time when I loved him more than in that moment. We left there, we didn't stay for lunch I didn't want to deal with the other part of the family – those assholes would have been laying for Steven so we went back to Hockley and had some barbecue – me shaking like a leaf the whole ride – Steven just calm as you please like this was a school project on his TO DO list. He told me that as long as he could stand in front of me he knew it would be okay. What about that y'all?

Steven Baby I love you!!

BACK TO MOM AND DAD'S HOUSE

(I love you too Lissia Sweetheart!!)

I got out of the car and went around to Lissia's door and held it for her and then retrieved her overnight bag. She'd already gone to hug Mom and Dad. She and Mom were chattering away leaving Dad and me to fend for ourselves – he just looked at me and grinned, "Whatta you know about that?" He shook his head, "How'd it go Steven?"

"It was hard on Phylissia Dad. She's been pretty upset by it all. We've talked a lot about it – probably wouldn't hurt for you and Mom to ask us both some questions just to make sure we're understanding all that happened. I may have been rude Dad," I confessed.

"What did you say?" he turned to face me.

"Well Mr. Wright said he had a pistol and he coulda shot me so I showed him mine – told him I carried too," I sort of grimaced when I told him.

I could see the corners of his mouth turning up all the while trying to keep a calm demeanor, "Did you shoot him or anyone else?"

"No sir."

"Good." He patted my back and we went into the kitchen to join our ladies who were already sitting at the table talking with iced tea in front of them. 

I went over and kissed Mom and then sat next to Lissia and kissed her, "Catch us up ladies, please?'

Mom shook her head, "Just girl talk. It's none of your business Steven." 

I looked at Dad and he put his hands up palms facing me as if to say, 'Don't look at me.'

Dad started with the questions, "So Phylissia how'd everything go with your parents?"

Lissia took off at a dead run recounting everything blow by blow with Dad half smiling and Mom in shock. When she finished explaining it all she looked at me, "Did I tell everything?"

I shrugged, "Dad asked you to explain how it went from your perspective and you just told him. Personally I'd say you nailed it."

She patted my cheek, "Okay Mr. Logician."  I love her soft touch – I get so excited around Lissia. She leaned against me and smiled to Mom, "You've raised a sweet man Mrs. Edwards."

Mom beamed, "We tried to raise him to be a gentleman and to respect women. I'm proud of him and his Daddy is too."

We sat and talked for a long while dealing with the challenges of being what is now called a biracial couple. Mom very openly asked Lissia questions about growing up black and Lissia fielded those questions beautifully. Mom shocked me when she told Lissia how wrong her attitude has been toward black people and she did something amazing, "Phylissia if I could take back every ugly thing I ever said about black people I would. I can't and I want you to know how sorry I am for the attitude I held toward you and other black folk. Momma and Poppa raised me better than that."

Lissia reached across the table and took her hands and squeezed them, "Mrs. Edwards you've blessed me with your Son – you've trusted me with your baby – he's my baby too we both love him passionately don't we?"

That scene choked Dad and me up he looked away and I looked down with burning eyes just holding onto my sweet Lissia. 

Our evening was quiet, Mom had leftover pot roast that was outstanding. We ate our fill and then drove to Vicki's Drive-In for root beer floats. We were quite a treat for those who were there. Several of my buddies saw Lissia and me together and almost ran into one another's cars – this was the day of driving round and round the drive-in restaurant – cruisin' as we called it back then.

We got back home in time to watch the news. There were two stories about Vietnam that we all paid close attention to, especially Lissia as she squeezed my arm tightly – I patted her hand and she looked at me and I hugged her closely, whispering, "I won't tell you not to worry." 

We watched another story of marches against segregation – I could feel my anger rising, I didn't know I was trembling, but Lissia sat up, "Are you okay?"

"No I'm not," I was furious. "There was no reason to let this go on – it was time to stop segregation and hate right now."

She stroked my face, "Easy baby give them a chance to get it right..."

"They've had two hundred years to get it right," I was angry partly because segregation was wrong and the other part because of the laws that kept us apart. We were going to have to go out of state to get married or be put in jail. 




The Professor Ch. 13



I had tears rolling down my face as she took my face in her hands, "Baby, please don't do this. I know you're upset. We're part of this too – look at us we're changing people around us too..."

Mom and Dad didn't know what to say and Lissia was anxious for me – she was beginning to understand what I'm made of and why I'm so driven. She held onto to me and Dad got up and changed the channel to Gunsmoke or Bonanza. That wouldn't fix the problem for me...I had a bitter taste in my mouth that somebody with a hate-filled heart could keep Lissia and me apart from one another. I leaned forward and took a few deep breaths, "I need to go run a few miles okay?"

She looked bewildered, "Okay baby please be careful."

I went into my room and changed into some running clothes and went back into the den and kissed her, "I'm sorry for being so upset. Please forgive me?"

She hugged me close to her, "It's okay. Have a good run and remember where you left me okay?"

She was funny, "Okay sweetheart...I love you."

"I love you too baby," she pursed her lips and sat down to talk with my parents.

The run helped me unwind. I ran over five miles and ran hard. The sweat was pouring off of me like I had run through a rain shower. Walking the last third of a mile to the house I felt relieved. I hated 'running' out on Lissia but I felt that Mom and Dad were okay with her and that they wouldn't verbally attack her. I could hear laughter as I walked into the garage – a good sign.

As I opened the door I heard Lissia laughing out loud as my Dad was regaling her with 'Steven stories'. I was groaning inside as I walked into the den, "Hey everyone."

Lissia came to me quickly, "Hi baby. Feel better?" She kissed me.

I nodded, "I'm sorry I got so upset – will you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive, imagine how I would have felt if you had been angry because folk are marching," she patted my soaking wet t-shirt. With that she hugged me tightly, whispering, "I love you Steven – my loving husband."

Those words made my heart beat even faster, "I love you sweet wife of mine."

I took a shower and changed into shorts and a t-shirt and Lissia excused herself to shower and change. Dad and Mom were worried about me so we talked a while – they bragged to me about Lissia, her intelligence and her wit; and how she admires me and my courage. I told them both I learned what I do now at home so they're responsible for me having a strong character. I noticed that Mom had already brought out the linens and pillows and Dad reminded me of the rules. I acknowledged that this was their home and their wishes would be respected by us. Lissia came out in her 'button-up' and robe with a refreshed look on her sweet face. Mom and Dad stood and told us good night. We hugged them and kissed them both.

We pulled out the sleeper sofa and made up the bed. Lissia snuggled up to me and we talked quietly for several hours. "Today when you cornered Momma you had knowledge that I thought was esoteric, known only to a few families but you used your logic, reasoning and command of history to draw out the truth. How do you do that?" I felt myself withdrawing a bit but she wouldn't let me, "Steven my darling husband, please don't pull back from me."

"I feel guilty for being so hard on your Momma but the truth should always be told no matter how painful it is. Look at the lies that have kept us apart. Look at the anger it caused in you with me when you thought I had lied to you about sex. We can't do things this way. Our country has to be truthful with one another. We act like politicians have the right to lie to us because we're too lazy to get off our butts and do what our forefathers did – forge a new nation where freedom abounds for everyone not just a privileged few or we'll be like the Bolsheviks or monarchs – both hungry for power both hungry for total control. We have to take a stand – where is that? What are you willing to give your life for?" I was on my soap box but this was burning in my heart.

"Oh Steven there is a fire in you like nothing I've ever seen. You scare the hell out of me. I'm beginning to see what motivates you and why knowledge is so important. Oh God I want to be with you every step of the way just to see where we're going. Is that okay?" she was persistent with me.

"Yes Lissia, it's more than okay - I couldn't do this without you. Your intellectual independence has given wings to my thoughts and encouragement in how I have always felt but was stifled in the contrived environment of undergraduate studies. Meeting you and listening to you think aloud and yield your position when new facts showed up to test your norms, just blows me away and then that you are so sweet and so gentle to teach me to love you. I...I...well I don't know how I am so blessed to have you to love me and me to love you," I was getting choked up – I loved her so much that my heart ached and she was in my arms. I was afraid to turn loose of her that it might be a dream that turns to a nightmare without her.

We talked for a long while and eventually she had a lot of questions about tomorrow and what our church was like and I finally admitted that I didn't know it's sort of like a new chain you don't know how strong it is until you exert some pressure on it. 

"How's the cystitis baby?"

She smiled, "It's feeling lots better – thank you for checking with me. And baby listen you don't have to solve the segregation problem all by yourself. You've got enough anger for ten men. You know I've been through this for a long while..."

I nodded my agreement, "I just want everyone to know each other so that we don't misunderstand one another and act stupidly.

"I know sweet man, I know it better than I know my own name and God knows I want all this hatred to go away so we can live our lives..." she hit my desire perfectly. I watched her eyes carefully as she closed the distance between us with her sweet lips.

We slept soundly waking around 0500. I woke up and she was moving quietly around the kitchen, the coffee was perking, she found the bacon and was making pancakes. When Dad and Mom added on the den they built a cook's kitchen with a griddle. I glided over to her and slid my arms around her, "Good morning my angel. I love you."

She turned around, "No one has ever called me an angel." She hugged me tightly and we kissed – morning breath and all – we didn't care – love is blind, deaf, limps and has no sense of smell. She likes sweaty men and I'll take her no matter what state of dress or undress she is in – we're certainly a pair to draw to.

Dad came in unbeknownst to us, "Could an old guy get some coffee in this cheesy diner?" It was good to hear him joking around. He came over and put his arms around us, "How'd you sleep? I hope you got some sleep." He winked and embarrassed me – 

Lissia watches me carefully and she patted my face, "We slept beautifully, Major. How do you feel this morning," she asked him as she hugged and kissed him.

He took a seat, "Let's see how do I feel? I have a beautiful, successful, intelligent daughter, an accomplished scholar for a son and a loving wife – I'd say I feel pretty good."

Lissia looked at me – she was tearing up and she went over and hugged Dad kissing him on both cheeks, "I love you Major – you and Mrs. Edwards have given me a wonderful gift, the chance to love your son – my life is complete. Thank you."

Mom came into the kitchen in a few minutes; she hugged and kissed us. She and Lissia immediately fussed over breakfast – they were determined to feed their men and they did. We enjoyed our Sunday morning with them. After breakfast Dad and I did the dishes and I went for a brief five mile run to clear the cobwebs. After the run I showered, shaved and dressed in a navy blazer and club tie with a blue button-down collar shirt. Lissia came out dressed in a beautiful pink linen suit – she was stunning, her hair pulled straight back covering her ears enough not to hide her diamond stud earrings. She knew how to dress. We told Mom and Dad that we'd meet them at church I wanted to go early and talk to Reverend Roland Broughton the pastor at our little Methodist Church. Lissia was very nervous and I tried to calm her as I called Reverend Broughton to make sure it was okay for me to come by and he graciously agreed.

We pulled up to the church and parked in the oyster shell parking lot behind the pastor's study and knocked on his door in the portico. He opened it and welcomed us into his study. "Reverend Broughton I would like you to meet my fiancé Dr. Phylissia Wright, Dr. Wright this is my pastor Reverend Broughton."

He was almost speechless but he held his own for a former farmer from East Texas who had graduated from Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. "So where did you two meet," he asked.

We told him the printable parts of our meeting and he smiled, "That's very interesting that you would become so attracted so quickly."

I nodded, "Yes sir. Dr. Wright is the first woman I've experienced an intellectual peer relationship with sir. Her gentle, kind and loving ways are a testament to her character and her terrific soul sir."

"Dr. Wright I've been Steven's pastor for five years and he's never brought a girl or a woman to meet me and you have agreed to marry one another," he smiled, "God's hand is in this but there is a great risk for you both. State laws won't let me perform the marriage ceremony – the Methodist Church will but Harris County won't issue you a marriage license. I can tell you're in love."

"Thank you Reverend Broughton," Lissia spoke carefully to him, "Steven has been very upset about this – he has this strong calling to see justice served and he's worries about my safety all the time. His intensity scares me," she half-smiled as she squeezed my hand.

"He's been like that as long as I've known him," the Reverend smiled.

We talked for a while and he prayed with us before he led us to the door. He had to get ready to preach and we found our way into the sanctuary much to the shock and surprise of everyone there, all conversation stopped and a few folks sat down on their pews with their mouths hanging agape. Mrs. Bertha Adamson, the self-appointed church mother and self-proclaimed 'most righteous among us' came right over and held her hand out to Phylissia as I introduced her as Dr. Wright. Mrs. Adamson was shocked that there was a black woman in church and a doctor to boot. The news travelled like wildfire as we made our way to the pew our family normally sat on. There was a wide circle around us until my parents and our neighbors showed up to hug us and kiss us so everyone could see how important Lissia was to our family. Mom introduced Lissia to several ladies from the WSCS (Women's Society for Christian Service) as Steven's fiancé and her future daughter. All the years of collecting money and raising funds for the eradication of segregation had suddenly come to a moment of truth – are you just checkbook Christians or do you mean it?

The service was very typical Methodist. Reverend Broughton was not the best preacher but he was a great pastor – he hugged us both at the door and told Lissia to come back again and to bring me as well. 

Somewhere behind us we heard, "It's one thing to give money to help those people but I don't want 'em in my church." I looked behind me and spied the culprit. I asked Lissia to wait with Mom and Dad I wanted to talk with someone.

I found Mrs. Spezak and confronted her, "Ma'am that is hateful and ugly. Dr. Wright is my fiancé that's not going to change but I'll tell you one thing you just blasphemed. Jesus said 'whatever you do to one of my family members you do to me.' You just cursed Jesus – shame on you." I made sure I said it loud enough for everyone to hear. I looked around at those who were nearby, "We're going to continue to come to worship here because other churches don't want us there either – this is my home church – I've known you all of my life and I am disgusted at your behavior. I won't rest until this attitude is driven out of this congregation or I'm dead. Shame on you all."

I felt Reverend Broughton's hand on my back, "I've met Dr. Wright. She is a lovely, intelligent, Harvard-educated woman who loves Steven enough to sacrifice her relationship with her family and her church to marry him. Don't make me ashamed that I'm your pastor with these two fine young people who have the courage of their love and faith in God to come openly and worship with you. Shame on you all – you owe these two an apology."

Reverend Broughton had always been a friend he was now a hero. I turned to face him and Lissia was standing there facing me – I held my hand out to her and put my arm around her, "I love you baby with the love that God put in my heart for you alone." We hugged Reverend Broughton and we left with Mom and Dad. They were both broken-hearted. It would be a long week for them with the phone ringing off the hook with support and apologies.



The Professor Ch. 14



Our short ride home was tense and silent. When we got home we changed into comfortable clothes and helped Mom get the lunch on the table. She had baked a ham and scalloped potatoes while we were at church. It was all ready to serve when we walked in. Lissia helped Mom with the ham -- slicing off delicious slabs while I loaded the table with the potatoes, rolls, butter and iced tea. There was always a relish plate with green onions and radishes -- Dad's addiction as he calls them. I heard Mom shoo Lissia to me, "Go ahead child, Steven needs your sweet arms around him." That put a lump in my throat.

She walked on cat paws over to me, "Hi Baby. How're you doing?" She kissed my neck and I held her to me, my eyes smarting -- Mom knew me too well. "I love you my sweet man. You have such a great, good heart I could only stand there while you called out those people in your church -- I can't do what you did."

"Not such a good heart Lissia if you knew what I was thinking at the time," I confessed quietly to her. I looked at her and her smile softened and her eyes were gentle like a spring rain refreshing the dryness of my heart, "I love you Lissia -- I don't care what they or anyone else says ever." I kissed her a lover's confessional kiss -- one of assurance not lust.

She patted my chest, "Let's put some comfort food in us. Your Momma made a peach pie too," she was smiling and caressing my hair and face. We turned around to take a seat and saw Mom and Dad smiling -- we joined them at the table and Dad offered a blessing. We ate our fill and sat around after lunch sipping coffee and eating pie, just talking like families do on Sunday afternoons in the South.

After lunch we cleaned up the dishes and were sitting in the den when my brother finally showed up. They walked into the den and to their shock saw Lissia and me with our arms intertwined sitting on the sofa. They could hardly speak. I stood up and called them over whispering to Lissia, "Stay seated." "Hal, Georgie I like you to meet Dr. Phylissia Wright -- Dr. Wright this is my brother Harold or Hal as we call him and my younger brother George or Georgie."

My Dad stood up and gave them the look, "Dr. Wright and your brother are engaged to be married. So welcome her to the family boys." His words had a familiar edge to them that Lissia didn't pick up but well-known to us.

"Good afternoon Dr. Wright -- it's nice to meet you," Hal grudgingly admitted with Georgie following suit, "Good afternoon Doctor it's nice to meet you." Talk about awkward this had all the marks of being the worst introduction ever.

Dad told them, "Sit down boys and spend some time getting to know your future sister. She's not only beautiful she's is brilliant and Steven loves her very much which means your Momma and I love her the same way -- the way we expect you both to treat her as priceless person she is...because she loves your brother." No pressure here -- whew.

We all chatted for a while and when Lissia interrogated my brothers on their academics they turned into cowards choosing to evade the topic with Hal stating, "We're not as smart as Steven," and Dad stepping in by saying, "You're lazy it's not about being smart."

Dad let them up off the mat and they excused themselves as we stood to go back to Lissia's home. She needed to wash clothes for her committee meeting at the university tomorrow and we were going to a movie in Rice Village. We hugged Mom and Dad, thanking them for their love and support. Lissia kissed my parents like a loving daughter would -- with Mom holding onto her, "My babies I love you."

"We love you too Mrs. Edwards..."

Mom stopped her, "It's Mom not Mrs. Edwards." They hugged each other and shocked me to death. Dad and I stood with our mouths open yet again. I would learn later from Dad that she was so angry at my brothers' behavior that she scolded them and told them that if they ever acted like that again to their sister that they could pack up and leave now. Boy when she changes she radically changes.

Lissia and I went to the car where I opened her door and let her in her seat as she reached across and unlocked my door. We waved to Mom and Dad headed toward her home. She was quiet for a while then, "How can your brothers be so different from you?"

I shook my head as though I was trying to clear some cobwebs, "I don't know the answer to that other than what my Dad said to Hal about being lazy -- it takes work to personally learn about someone else and to be involved in their life; it's easier just to accept as accurate bigoted statements that you hear because you're too lazy to check the facts. I guess the short answer is what Dad said, 'they're lazy.'

"Have they always been lazy? I mean you work like a field hand do they help out around the house?" she was astonished that they could get away with it.

"Well it's sort of my fault I'd always go behind them when we were working to make sure that the work got done the way Dad or Mom wanted and I fixed what they screwed up...so," I clenched my lips and teeth in a tight line, "my mistake and it happened so frequently they just expected me to fix what they broke. Dad found out what I was doing and he laid into me told me to stop fixing their mistakes and when I stopped they got burned. Then they called me a tattletale and some ugly things and told their friends that I was a snitch so you can imagine how I've been treated for trying to do the right thing. I learned a serious lesson, once you start fix what someone else breaks they never take responsibility for fixing it they just keep breaking stuff. Now it's better to do what my parents need done without involving them. They've spent so much time screwing around they don't know how to do things properly," I regretted opening that can of worms, "Sorry baby you didn't ask for an interpersonal discourse and I gave it to you."

She started laughing, "You gave me what I asked for in the social dynamics of the family. I couldn't have scripted your answer better if I had handed it to you. Steven your parents love your work ethic and I especially do -- it tells me I won't have to hound you to help around the house or such as that."

"You're right - you won't have to hound me, I generally start early and that makes Hal and Georgie mad because Dad comes in and scolds them for lying in bed. I finish early so I can study or do other things on my list while they're still dawdling," I shared.

"Do you know how to rest?" she pushed the string some more.

"I do when I'm with you but there's a dichotomy because I want to be the very best for us...so...I'm afraid to relax too much," I admitted.

"Why baby?" as she grabbed onto my forearm.

"I realize how fragile young relationships are and I never want to give you cause to wonder if you've made a mistake," I told her what was hiding in my heart. 

We turned up her street and I didn't remember driving past her house, "where are you going baby?" 

I was so embarrassed, "Sorry, sometimes I can't concentrate on anything but us when we open up like this," I turned around in her preacher's driveway and drove a few houses to hers, parking close to the garage and getting out to open her door.

She put her arms around me as she got out, "My sweet Steven -- you are such a gentle man with a great good heart I don't know how I deserve you -- I don't. I need to be with you all the time -- I...I...well...I want to know what you're thinking and feeling and doing...I want to touch you and hold you close to my heart. I feel so guilty stealing so much of your time from your family especially with your Dad being sick and they love you so much...I don't know how we do this," she shook her head and then rested her forehead on my chest.

"Let's go inside baby so we can get you unpacked and relax for a while. We've had a harrowing few days that we need to be alone with one another for a while," I kissed her slowly and sweetly. I loved her so very much that I wanted to cradle her in my arms forever and keep her safe from the world's hate but I knew that wasn't possible -- she'd seen far more than my young years would see by the time I reached her age.

We went in through the front door picking up the Sunday Chronicle -- we needed to check the movie schedules. We got her unpacked and she began washing a load of clothes for tomorrow and we sat on her sofa and talked for a long while. We had to analyze and reanalyze all that had happened with her family, my family and my church -- then she interrupted us and observed, "We're letting what others do affect us way too much. This is our life and I don't want someone else's monkeys on our back."

I laughed, "You're right Dr. Wright," I winked at her.

She rolled over on top of my and started tickling me, "Oh you! If you weren't so big and strong I'd spank you."

I held her tightly as she struggled to free herself, "You know I can't resist you -- whatever you want from me you know I'll do it," I whispered to her as though we were in a crowded room and I wanted the intimacy of this moment to linger.

"I know you'll do what I want and I never want to take advantage of your sweetness and generosity. Steven I didn't know love could be like this with such gentle, sweet passion. I had no idea such a young man could be so confident and mature in his desire and knowing what he wants. You have completely taken me aback from what I thought I knew -- you and your love sneaked up on me and captured me forever and I love you. So there," she punctuated her commitment.

I helped her fold her clothes and square the laundry room away. We decided that we'd go to the Gulfgate cinema to see the 'Sound of Music.' This was the most popular movie at the moment and we knew we were going to be eyeballed a lot but we were going and we did. There were a lot of shocked people to see us together although no one seemed to have the courage to speak openly to us -- mostly middle aged adults and some young couples. Sometimes it's hard to be ugly when those whom you strive to attack are imposing. We were a tall couple by the standards of the day and based upon the way we felt toward one another I have no doubt that most of the folks there sensed how we felt and gratefully let us alone. The theater was cool and dark, the music was refreshing and it felt like a real date. In those days the only things sold at the concession stand were Cokes, popcorn, coconut logs, Tom Peanut Butter logs and jujubes. We shared popcorn and a Coke. Lissia rested her head against my shoulder and we held hands as we enjoyed the movie and this 'quiet' time together. After the movie an older couple came over to us and spoke. The man said, "Pardon me for interrupting you two but I wanted to come over and say how courageous and beautiful that we think you are," they smiled and we suddenly realized they were a white man a black woman, although a very fair woman. 

I introduced us, "I'm Steven Edwards and this is Dr. Phylissia Wright," as I extended my hand. We all shook hands as they introduced themselves as Dr. and Mrs. Kerbow from Lincoln, Nebraska. 

They met right after World War II at a Naval Hospital in Philadelphia where he was a surgeon and she his surgical nurse. We stood and talked for a while and they invited us to have some pie and coffee at mall café. We gladly joined them and spent a delightful evening talking about their history. They quickly asked about us and were surprised at our difference in age and then the whole story came out -- well not everything. Mrs. Kerbow was smiling from ear to ear holding Lissia's hand, "You are so beautiful child I can't believe that you're older than Steven and a PhD -- indeed!"

"Mrs. Kerbow you flatter me. Steven tells me all the time that I'm beautiful I just thought that love was blind in one eye and couldn't see out the other..." Her remark brought gales of laughter at the table.

"I'm glad you said that Mrs. Kerbow, she doesn't know how stunning she is," I admitted as I admired Lissia's beauty.

Dr. Kerbow quickly agreed, "You are beautiful Dr. Wright. Steven and Mattie are correct."

It was now Lissia's turn to feel humbled for her beauty and her intelligence. She needed to know how stunning a woman she is. We sat with the Kerbows for about two hours. When we left they asked us to stay in touch and to please come to see them in Nebraska maybe we could get married up there in their home. We were shocked and thrilled to meet this mixed race couple. Our ride back to Lissia's home was animated to say the least. She was talking at high speed and was so excited to finally meet a successful couple that she was going to write the Kerbows a letter as soon as possible so we could arrange a visit. We both felt a strong sense of community now that we had kindred spirits where love conquered the manmade barriers and cleaved the 'Gordian Knot' of fear that so tightly bound human relationships. We had had a very long day and were looking forward to some special time to share our day. We were both pretty excited. I was thrilled that other people got to tell Lissia about her intelligence and beauty -- I know it's important for lovers to admire one another but we are sometimes blinded by our love and to hear how others see us or perceive reinforces what our lover has said.

Our days began running together with Lissia having meetings and my having to get ready for training. A week out from my leaving I celebrated my birthday and my parents gave me a 'birthday party' -- barbecue and family that's all I really wanted. Lissia had become such an integral part of Mom's circle that they planned it without my knowledge. I had taken Dad down to Galveston for his appointment with his cancer doc and when we got back they were nowhere to be found. Dad was tired so he took up his place with the dog in the recliner and kicked back. My older brother worked at a large retail company in a neighboring town and my younger brother was 'somewhere' probably with his girlfriend -- I didn't know at the time. I retrieved the brass for my uniforms and continued polishing it making sure there was no lacquer on any of it. After about an hour Dad woke up and came over to the kitchen table where I was polishing the brass, "Looking good young candidate."

"Thanks Major," I smiled.

He grinned, "You like doing this don't you?"

"Yes sir I do actually," I admitted.

"How about the boots and shoes?" she wondered.

"You can see your face in them sir," I stood to get them.

"No, no that's okay. I'll see them another time. I'm proud of you Steven. Has Phylissia seen you in your uniform yet?" 

"No sir. She's seen the uniforms of course but not on me since I'm not authorized to wear them yet," I told him -- he knew the Army regs thoroughly.

He nodded, "She's gonna love her soldier."

He was a trouble maker, "Don't start stirring the pot Dad."

"Who me?"

"Yes sir -- you that's who," I pointed at him and just laughed.

We both heard Mom's car pull in, "They're back."

We met them at the door with puckered lips and that brought a howl of laughter and some very nice kisses I might add. Even though Lissia had wakened me this morning singing Happy Birthday over the telephone she told me again and again and sealed it each time with a kiss. She was not happy that I wouldn't let her drive out to the house -- that I insisted on going to pick her up. So we had a running conversation about me being overly protective of her. I finally said, "It's not negotiable. I am what I am says 'Popeye' -- you're stuck with me baby."

"I'm hardly stuck with you I'm stuck on you and in love with you but not stuck with you like a consolation prize. I hit the jackpot with you," she was so charming as her fears subsided and she more and more became that innocent lover she always wanted to be - she could never regain her virginity but her stained being was no longer feeling stained -- she was loved and accepted without hesitation and that is what she had longed for in her life -- wholeness. 

It wasn't long before our close friends showed up including our pastor Reverend Broughton and his wife Miriam. Several high school friends who would meet Lissia for the first time though they'd heard about her. She and Mom had baked and prepared a four-layer chocolate fudge cake; our neighbors brought homemade ice cream and the Harwells brought barbecue. When everyone had gathered included my Johnny-come-lately brothers and their girl friends they sang happy birthday to me -- Lissia held my arm and stayed close by while Reverend Broughton and his wife chatted with us. Everyone had to come 'meet' my fiancé and she of course, was gracious and charming. I watched her interactions with our friends -- she was amazing fielding questions and speaking at length on various topics including the Selma march and the Civil Rights movement. She exhibited no visible signs of fear but I stayed near her.

Reverend Broughton had prayer and we sat down to barbecue wherever we could find a place -- we'd set up picnic tables on the patio and several tables inside. Lissia and I sat outside with Dad and Mom and the pastor and his wife. Lissia wouldn't let me get tea or food or anything for myself -- I was uncomfortable being 'waited on' -- she pointed her finger at me, winked and smiled saying, "this is your birthday -- I can spoil you today like you spoil me all the time. 

My face turned red and Reverend Broughton smiled, "that is the right way to get a relationship off to a great start by spoiling your future wife." His wife patted his arm, "That's right if momma's not happy nobody's happy." 

Lissia leaned over and kissed me whispering, "but I'm gonna make you real happy."

Dad raised a glass of tea and called everyone to raise their glass in a toast to my birthday which they did and wished me may more. Lissia came over and hugged me and kissed -- she was dressed so beautifully and she smelled like citrus, I was completely overwhelmed by what was happening as was she. Mom and Dad hugged and kissed me telling me how proud they were of me. Then Dad stood up and pulled a small box out of his pocket, "Steven I have a tradition to pass along to you," as he handed me the box, "these are my 2nd lieutenant bars from when I received my direct commission. I want you to wear these proudly, General Akers pinned them on me -- they were his." 

My heart was pounding in my chest because that meant he knew he wouldn't be there to pin them on me. I stood and hugged him with tears in my eyes. Lissia figured it out very quickly and stood and hugged Dad and Mom and then kissed and hugged me. As I watched Dad sit down he smiled and nodded, then patted my forearm, "You can do this Son you have a wonderful wife beside you just like your Mom is beside me. Be a leader Steven, lead with integrity always and remember I love you."

Lissia had tears rolling down her beautiful face -- I kissed them and dabbed them with a napkin, "I love you sweetheart," I whispered softly to her as she stood up and abruptly left the table going into the house. 

I started to get up but Dad grabbed my arm, "Wait a minute she'll be back."

She returned with a rather large box that was obviously heavy and set it in front of me, "Happy birthday my sweet man. This is part of your gift -- I couldn't carry all of it," she smiled and then I stood and took her in my arms and kissed to applause and wolf whistles from good friends. My brothers were in shock. I open the wrapping paper and the box -- it held volumes 1 & 2 of the Oxford English Dictionary in blue leather binding. I was in shock these were expensive, "Lissia! Oh my gosh sweetheart this is too much." My hands were shaking. I set the books down and hugged her, "baby you shouldn't have done this -- I love them. Oh Lissia this is so sweet of you."

"Now you can never misspell another word -- the other eleven volumes are in the house," she smiled, "Happy, Happy Birthday baby!" 




The Professor Ch. 14



I held both of her hands and just stared into her eyes, "Only another bookworm could appreciate the value of this gift. Thank you baby." I was overwhelmed. The night was wonderful with the exception of the surliness of my brothers it was odd though their girlfriends were sweet and kind to Lissia telling her how beautiful she is and how they'd never met a PhD before -- she chatted with them at length much to the chagrin of Hal and Georgie.

The night was catching up with Dad and everyone began helping clean up the festivities which was common back in our day -- we didn't leave someone with the mess at their home even if we were invited -- everyone pitched in to cleanup. Mom and Dad came over and told us to spend the night here. Mom had put the sheets on the sofa and Lissia had sneaked her bed clothes and a change of casual clothes into my car. She went in and changed into her PJs and robe while I pulled out the sofa.

Mom and Dad came in and kissed us goodnight wishing me the blessings of another year and telling us to sleep well that they'd see us in the morning. I went into my bedroom and changed into PJs and a robe. My parents had a folding screen that we used whenever family would come for a visit that we pulled out now that Hal and Georgie were home. We climbed into bed and snuggled up for the night -- respecting Mom and Dad. We talked for several hours, Lissia was beginning to get a bit melancholy because the days were winding down now toward my training and being gone for the summer.

"Baby?"

"Yes Lissia?"

"This felt so good today working with your Mom, getting your birthday ready and then your friends and neighbors and your pastor and his wife coming over and...well...you know...making me feel like I belong here," her voice was small, gentle and endearing.

"You belong here with me Lissia. Everyone knows it. Dad says my love for you oozes out of my pores. Lissia you are my life -- I cannot imagine not having you to love. I didn't know it was legal to be this happy...well right now it's not is it? I screwed that up," I felt terrible.

She fixed that with her sweet kisses, "I know what you meant and I agree. I can't imagine not being your wife -- I can't. If you had told me two months ago we'd be where we are right now I'd have told you that you were crazy as hell -- but look at us." We fell asleep holding each other and it wouldn't be the last time before I left for Ft. Benning. 

We rose early and got breakfast started with the coffee brewing. I dressed and took a five mile run and came back in sweating like a pig but Lissia met me at the door with a hug, a kiss and big glass of water. I showered, shaved and dressed for breakfast. Lissia and I were going to her house to finish the gardens today. When I came into the kitchen Mom, Dad and Lissia were already at the table drinking coffee and waiting for me. They looked like they were up to something. Dad spoke up, "Son the three of us have been talking since you're leaving in a few days why don't you pack a suitcase and spend a few days with your sweet fiancé?" 

Mom smiled, "It's the right thing to do Steven. I know you'd be married right now if the state would let you and we love Phylissia so much -- we trust your heart to her -- we know she won't hurt you nor you, her." 

I was in shock and I looked at Lissia, "Is this okay with you?"

"Steven your Mom and I have been talking for a while about our love and it hurts her heart that we can't be married -- she wants us to be happy. We don't have any secrets among us and this isn't tawdry or vile this is us waiting out our time we know it's coming but you need to be okay with this too my darling Steven. She looked as innocent as a new bride and just as enchanting. I agreed without a fight believe me my heart was going crazy. After breakfast I packed a few things in an overnight bag and took a suit bag with a blazer shirt and tie. This was going to be something. I felt very adult and very strange. My parents hugged us and kissed us and said they'd see us in a few days. Lissia held onto my arm with her hands and an arm - this moment felt like we were going off on a honeymoon.

As she settled into her seat for the ride home Lissia was aglow with anticipation, "Oh Steven I cannot believe this...your Momma and I had such a sweet time together -- she fussed over me and worried about me all the while worrying and fussing over you -- she hates that we can't be married and well...she believes as you and I do that the state is wrong. I never imagined that your parents would send you and me off to spend some very quiet time together...I know I'm rambling and I...I...I can't get focused right now," she sputtered.

I reach for her hands and she readily took mine -- I lifted her hands to my lips and kissed hers as I drove, "I know Lissia all this has caught me completely by surprise but I do know that Dad and Mom will be talking with my brothers and the pastor. They aren't happy with Hal and Georgie right now -- frankly I think they need to spend a month working for your Daddy on the farm..."

That brought a laugh, "Ha! Wouldn't that be somethin'?" 

I shook my head, "It'd be somethin' alright I'm not sure where that'd end up. Baby?"

"Yes my beautiful man?"

"Thank you again for the Oxford Dictionary. I've used it so much at Cullen and never imagined that I'd be the owner of a set. You spent way too much money on me," I was still amazed at her gift.

"Oh Steven, that is just a tiny thing compared to what I see in our future. Your hunger for knowledge and truth compelled me to look at what you would truly want -- you're not given to baubles and bangles and shiny objects -- you strive for truth and accuracy and that is the standard by which we should all live so you and that set of Oxford fit well together. Who knows maybe you'll study under the Newton Chair of Physics one day at Oxford," she was very earnest in her opinion.

"You're very generous about me but you said the other day that love is blind and limps well sweetheart I think it is right now. I work hard at my education -- it doesn't come easily," I warned her.

"I don't see that -- I see the cognitive function of your thought processing center - what you learn or acquire immediately begins cross-checking and verifying with what is said or reported," she observed carefully, "I'm a sociologist, an observer of the human condition and social situation, 'sitz em leben' -- a person's seat in life. I am trained to make observations just like that -- you might even call me an authority on the human condition."

"Bingo -- I walked on my tongue, thank you doc," I winked to her and she tugged on my forearm with both hands.

We drove quietly and happily to a respite. Our life had been crammed full of tension and anxiety. The route to her home was now burned into my driving instincts and it happened so subtly I scarcely noticed it as I casually wheeled into the driveway. "The yard is looking nice Steven," she noticed how green the grass had become and colorful contrast of the plants that were blooming.

"It does look lived in and loved upon doesn't it?" I smiled to her.

"Yes," she whispered wistfully, "it does."

I went around to her side of the car and opened the door for her -- she had finally stopped racing to open the door and allowed me time to be a gentleman. I held her hand as she stepped out, faking a misstep and falling against me wrapping both arms around my neck, kissing me and as we parted lips I was smiling, "Very nicely done."

"You mean I a bad actor?"

"No I mean I like the way you did that -- I'll take your kisses anyway I can get them baby," I kissed her nose as she patted my chest. I walked us to the front door and she unlocked it, "I'll bring in the bags," she started to protest and I smiled and winked she mocked anger with her hands on her hips so I took her in my arms and kissed her slowly, "I'll get the bags."

She breathed out, "Whoa...okay...I'll just be in here."

Once inside she called me to the bedroom, "Steven bring the bags in here."

I walked into the bedroom and loved what I saw she was lying on the bed completely naked. I dropped the bags and just about fell over my feet getting undressed and clambered onto the bed next to her kissing her sweet, soft lips. She was gorgeous, her skin was radiant like her smile; her legs -- long, dark and luxurious; her breasts were luscious with the nipples at full attention like my burgeoning erection; her belly was firm with just a slight, soft upward flow to it that just blew me away and her scent called me to the sweet place of our physical experience. "Lissia you are so sensual and sleek like this wonderful, sexual creature that came into my life so that we could please one another only. I can't take my eyes off of your stunning beauty and my heart aches to be with you all the time. I love you sweet Lissia -- my beautiful wife."

She rolled onto her back and held her arms open to me, "Make love to me my beautiful baby. Let's not waste these hours -- let's remember us forever."

I needed no encouragement to make love to Lissia. I kissed her slowly, making sure our tongues massaged and manipulated one another's tongue and mouth completely, moving on to her lips and chin and neck down to that sweet, soft spot where she always put one finger tip of perfume. I kept kissing her neck working my way to her ears -- first one then the other all the while our legs and abdomens were doing their physical magic rubbing and wrapping one another into this 'square knot' passion -- it took a moment for me to realize that she had begun rubbing her pussy lips against my hard dick -- our breathing had intensified and our conversation disappeared into nothing but grunts, pants and 'yes's'. I pulled back a bit and looked into her eyes she was panting and begging me to keep going...her lustiness for me fed my lust for her. I kissed down her beautiful chest taking great care to kiss every exposed and covered inch of her breasts, lifting each one -- kissing the sweet soft flesh where the breast and the chest come together, making sure that each nipple was suckled and attended to with wet, sloppy slurping her panting was increasing as I worked my way down her abdomen and her tender soft belly crossing down into her pubic hair licking and kissing the creases at the hip tracing my hot wet tongue down to her clit -- her scent began growing stronger and stronger as more and more juices were flowing from her pussy. 

I licked her clit and rolled the tip of my tongue around it until it swelled like a little finger so I slid my tongue down her clit in between her dripping pussy lips licking each one carefully and slowly finally plunging my tongue into her pussy about the time she came the first time rocking my head backwards -- she never knew it -- I held on and kept running my tongue in and out of her pussy until she cried out, "STEVEN!" I knew she was ready for me as I kissed my way back up to her nipples, her nostrils were flared out and her breathing came in short gasps as I looked at her. "Steven I need you in me baby...now!" My dick head pressed against her pussy lips and quickly disappeared into her soaking wet pussy swallowing me to my balls and clamping onto me for all she was worth. I lifted her legs onto my shoulders and began long, slow strokes and she begged me, "Faster...damn it Steven....now...ohhhhh," I pumped faster and harder turning loose of her legs she threw them around my hips and rocked into me like a bronco. I was a few strokes away from cumming as she came again nearly throwing me off of her and that cranked my engine...my cum shot into her belly like a fire hose and I kept pumping as she begged me, "yes...yes...that's it....keep going...oh yeahhhh...uh." We both ran out of steam and I collapsed onto her beautifully soft body, "Oh my wonderful Steven I love you so..."

I was spent, "I love you too my sweet Lissia," I panted and rolled onto my side as she rolled a leg over mine and wrapped her arms around me as best she could, "this is wonderful..."



The Professor Ch. 15



NOTE TO OUR READERS: This has taken a long time to produce because we took time out to get married – yes to each other! We're concluding our story with this chapter. We'll stay in touch with several of you who have contacted us via email. But mostly Lissia and I are going to get 'caught up on our lives together'. We hope this closing chapter brings everything into focus for you and that you share in our joy.

***********************************************

"How's the cystitis baby?"

She smiled, "It's almost gone, thank you for asking. You make me happy Steven darling."

"Are you still taking the antibiotic?" I was hovering again.

"I am - just like Dr. Andres told me to," she winked.

"Thank you baby I want you to be healthy and happy..."

She tightened her hold on me, "Oh Steven my life is so different because of us; I don't know what adjectives I can use to talk about how I feel – you said you never expected us – I surely didn't; our families didn't either. I don't know what the future holds for us but baby I'm in our relationship for the long haul..."

I kissed her slowly beginning with her forehead and her nose...I kissed every soft spot on her beautiful face and finally her sweet lips. A few weeks back I'd never even shaken hands with a black woman and now I was lost in love with the most beautiful woman I'd ever known or would ever love...she happened to be black. Our relationship had traveled so far past lust that it was a speck in the rear view mirror of our shared personal relationship journey. Our breathing began to match breath for breath and it wasn't long before we were asleep in one another's arms. There is no feeling like falling asleep with the love of your life; feeling her tender touch and soft caress; the lingering fragrance of one another mingled with the sweetness of love.

We awoke to one another after a while, not caring the hour, just filled with a satisfied joy that caresses lovers into forever. We talked about what would happen on Monday when I had to report to school for the ride to Hobby Field. We were both a bit melancholy about my leaving but we knew I had to do this. My greatest heartache was making sure that she and my parents stayed connected while I was away. Mom and Dad would drive over to Lissia's house Monday and the four of us would go to the ROTC area so I could board the bus for Hobby Field. We would have to be careful at school – we discussed our goodbye kiss – think about the stupidity of having to plan your goodbye kiss. 

"Steven?"

"Yes baby?"

"I need us to talk about something that has been rolling around in my brain ever since your interview for graduate studies and the dual degree," she admitted.

I sat up and rearranged the pillows so we could lean on them against the headboard, "What's troubling you," I asked her as I interlaced our fingers and kissed her lips. I watched her eyes carefully.

"Dr. Kaplan was trying to make you fold and run when he said to you, 'That you quoted Mill precisely – I think it was and he asked, aren't you worried that if you go to war you'll be killed or maimed – and why do that when there's so much work to do here to right so many social wrongs.' Do you remember what you answered him?" 

I nodded, "I do. I told Dr. Kaplan that our nation has allies that one of those allies is the government of South Vietnam, whom we promised to help; that there are young men and women in South Vietnam that the Bolsheviks don't want to be successful or to be productive, to learn at the university level, professors like you that they'll murder - doctors, lawyers and religious leaders whose lives are in danger while we chatted idly among ourselves. I told him that his work is here fixing the societal wrongs and that my work is preserving liberty wherever it is. Then he said something like 'They haven't known liberty...' And I told him that was the greatest reason that they should and challenged him to think about someone other than himself. He just doesn't understand that it sometimes it takes our blood to dissolve and destroy tyranny. It goes back to Mill again."

Lissia smiled, "Then you recall the events you cited about original Constitutional Convention when Thomas Jefferson argued with John Adams telling him, "That the tree of liberty must be refreshed with the blood of tyrants and patriots."

"I remember it well – I thought I'd shot myself in the foot. Why do you ask?" I pushed her.

"Do you think we should be fighting wars in other lands when we aren't threatened directly?" She was worried.

"If I make a promise to you that I will help you if you get into trouble no matter what would you expect me to keep that promise?" I asked her.

"You would without question...but this is a war," she was anxious.

"I would to honor my word to you and yes it's a war – freedom can only be gained with shared sacrifice – even if it means my life..." the words were chilling – her expression was frozen as her eyes searched mine trying to understand how I arrived at that conclusion.

"Where does that come from inside you?" she wanted more.

I started slowly in the words that best define what I believe and felt, "When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

"The Declaration of Independence," she tightened her lips into a small frown and nodded, "I knew it..."

"There's one more piece of that desire that is critical and since I've fallen in love with you it has become the centerpiece of my desires, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. I want us to share in that promise and every other child or student or pairs of lovers wherever they are – especially for their Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. We can't be free unless all men are free. And it may cost my life. 'Greater love has no man than this that he lay down his life for his friends'...it may come to that for me and I urgently believe that. I can't walk away from this my baby – ever. It's for us as much as it is for the people of Vietnam," I was tense and anxious and passionate. I hadn't really realized the gravity of those words until I learned that Lissia and I couldn't marry – our freedom – our liberty – our happiness was stripped from us by bigotry and fear – our nation wasn't living out its Declaration of Independence.

"Oh my sweet, noble man where did you come from? How did you get this great, good and noble heart?" she leaned against me and wrapped her beautiful arms and body up with mine. "I thought I was against this adventurous war that Johnson was taking us into but I've changed my mind."

"Johnson is doing this because of our agreement with South Vietnam and inside of that agreement he's found footings for his grandiose schemes," I spat out my words.

"What do you mean?" 

"He's creating a dependency situation like the feudal system in Europe where the fiefs and serfs were dependent upon the king or the barony for everything and before long they only performed mediocre work and got addicted to what the barony or the king dropped from the table," I could taste the bitter medicine that he was foisting on the population.

"Why would he do that?"

"Power, votes, control." I explained.

"Oh my God and you think he's using us black folk to get that," she was breathless.

"Yeah. The Republicans passed the Voter Rights Act, an act he fought against since he was in Congress and later the Senate so now he needs the black population's votes to beat back the Republican candidates...so yeah I think he'd use black folk to get his political gains. He doesn't care about civil rights – he's been involved with the Democrat Party here in Texas and it's filled with bigots and klan-members," I was angry again.

"He's hoodwinking us," she sat upright. "This is slavery all over again."

I nodded, "Yes...that's what it looks like to me too. I can't prove this but logic seems to favor the prepared in this case. Rather like the carpet baggers who swindled slaves out of their forty acres of land." 

"So how is he getting away with escalating the war in Vietnam with all the hawks who voted against him since he claimed Goldwater was trying to start World War three," she wondered.

"That's just it he needs those hawks to support him in 1968 – he appeases the hawks and creates his great society which is nothing more than a welfare state while the hawks are cheering on the war effort and being satisfied with fighting communists in Vietnam rather than in the streets of America. His war efforts build the Military Industrial Complex that President Eisenhower warned us about because it becomes a political tool," I smirked wryly.

"And you get caught in the middle doing the right thing...he is such an asshole," Lissia spat out. "I voted for Goldwater and will vote against Johnson again in 1968. He can go fuck himself and his welfare plantation."

"The Vietnamese people who think they are fighting for their freedom are going to get abandoned when we get 'tired' of fighting that war like the Korean War. At least the truce line at the 38th parallel is the line of demarcation between freedom and totalitarianism. Dad thinks this is going to turn bloody and nasty before it's over. He's probably right about that too," I breathed out hard.

"I love you Steven so very much. I wish it didn't have to come down to this," she acquiesced the point.

"I love you too sweet wife of mine...I wish people would just get along and stop this kind of inaneness. I'm not nor do I have a desire to be a politician. I will fight not for Mr. Johnson but for a free Vietnam with happy kids, hard working people, good schools and a healthy economy." We talked for an hour or so and finally she got me calmed down and we fell asleep in each other's arms again.

Lissia roused herself to attend to hygiene and I went into the living room to call Mom and Dad. I asked them to have a dozen red roses sent to Lissia for tomorrow with the card, "To my darling wife – I will love you forever – Steven." I thanked Mom and Dad and told them how much I loved them for recognizing Lissia as my true love. They both told me they wanted me to finally be happy and I promised them that I was beyond imagination.

Lissia came into the living room as I hung up the phone, "How's your Daddy?"

"He's doing okay. They asked about us and how we're feeling. I told them that I was happy beyond my wildest imagination," I smiled to her as she easily closed the distance between us.

Her arms slid around my neck - her lips met mine with passion and a lover's knowledge of our personal geography, our kiss lingered and was sweetly hot and provocative, as we broke our kiss her face was radiant, her smile pliant and her eyes were deep, liquid fire that ignited my heart with joy, "My beautiful Steven I am so glad we're together. You've shown me what I was missing in my life..."

"You stole my words...I didn't know us or about us or that we could be – us. It's hard to believe all that's happened – I mean look at us...like I told Mom and Dad this is beyond my imagination that I could love and be loved this way...never did I think that this could be real...Lissia you said whatever happens forever – well I'm there too," I confessed all of me to her and held her tightly for such a long while. We eventually went in and took a shower – we were going to the nursery once more before I had to leave.

The nursery folks were getting accustomed to our coming. We bought ten flats of perennials to plant all around the yard to add more depth to the landscape. Lissia couldn't believe her eyes when it all got planted. She shot a whole roll of film – 36 exposures on 35mm Kodacolor. I would eventually get to see the pictures – three months later but she was thrilled at her new 'lawn' as was I. 

We were pretty domestic for a few days – she fixed dinner for Mom and Dad on Saturday - they got there just after the red roses arrived – Lissia was still crying, "Look at this," she told Mom. 

Mom hugged her while I thanked Dad, "Here's $20 for the flowers Dad." 

He refused it, "Son when you can make your woman this happy there's no amount of money that can be placed on the value of her happiness."

Lissia and Mom stopped hugging and Lissia came over and hugged Dad, kissing him on both cheeks, "You have done such a wonderful job with your son – I love you both so much."

"Thanks Mom," I whispered as I tried to give her the $20. She just smiled and kissed my neck.

Then Lissia turned her attention to me again, "We've been together every minute for the past few days when did you do this?"

I smiled as she held my hands, "I can't give away my secrets now can I?"

"No," she hugged me tightly, "I guess not. These are the first flowers I've ever gotten from any man."

Her admission stunned me, "I'm glad I thought of it first."

"I am too, baby, I am too. We have a lot of firsts together don't we?" She pulled back and looked into my eyes as I nodded and smiled – I could feel my face flush red as she stroked my cheek.

Lissia showed Mom and Dad around her Victorian-styled craftsman bungalow and she walked them onto the porch so they could see the 'new' landscaping. Dad smiled, "Well it looks like someone knows what he's doing."

"He does," Lissia spoke up as she tightened her grip on my hand, smiling to me. She led Mom and Dad inside and showed them pictures of the 'jungle' before I attacked it and began getting control of it. 

Dad smiled, "Don't put work in front of him – it's Katie-bar-the door."

We sat down to a sumptuous meal of chicken and dumplings and all Dad could say was, "Can Momma and I live with you?" He brought a smile to Lissia's face. We talked for hours drinking tea on the side porch and telling stories about our quiet lives – they mostly told stories on me growing up while Lissia mentally recorded these moments for her replay in the quiet times when we weren't together. The day ended too soon. It was another one closer to Dad not being with us so we treasured it and drew it out as best we could...squeezing all the good out of the moment. He blessed us by being here as did Mom. We worked out the details of Monday – Mom and Dad would come to Lissia's home and we'd all leave together to take me to the ROTC Center at the University.

On Sunday we went to an Episcopal service near the Private university campus - we were inconspicuous as this was a relatively open community. We got a lot of exercise during worship with the standing up and kneeling and sitting. The service was dry as dust – the music stultified and stodgy – this wouldn't be the one. Our ride back to Lissia's home was very quiet – we were both feeling a bit maudlin and a sense of loneliness was creeping in for both of us. I didn't know what was in store for me at training – I had never been away from home for more than a week plus I'd never had a fiancé or even a fulltime girlfriend so I didn't know what was coming on our front. Lissia on the other hand would have a lot of down time and time to worry and think about things – she would need to be busy. We talked about that possibility with my parents and they promised me that they would keep Lissia busy and check up on her. The sabbatical would start in three weeks for her - she buries herself in her work – she's relentless in her research and in her preparation. But this was different – we were different now – there was so much at stake. She had sailed through her education and her teaching stints just as I had zipped through my studies and my work pretty much unscathed by the world at large. We weren't going to be so fortunate now. We offended a large part of the population because of our pairing and we had to be prepared for what that meant – that is the unknown variable in this whole calculation.



LISSIA'S IMPRESSION

I watched Steven over the few days we spent together. He poured himself into the work around the yard – laying out larger plans and more work for when he returned. He was trying to ignore the elephant in the living room – our upcoming separation while he was away at Fort Benning Georgia. I knew there was no damn way those crackers over there would allow me to rent a room to be near him for even a weekend. I couldn't keep my anxious brain off of his leaving – he wasn't running out on me – he was doing what he was supposed to do – as he always does without fail or complaint. The Major told me that you always, always knew where to find Steven – his values and character were so pure that he always did what was right and would exhaust himself trying.

He gave me roses! No man has ever sent me flowers or so much as given me one flower. He is cagey I don't know how he did it but I suspected the Major's hand in this. His Momma and Daddy came to supper and we enjoyed them being with us. They loved my little house especially my favorite room the wraparound porch with ceiling fans. The Major admired the work Steven did on the lawn. We're proud of his hard work period. His Momma and I swapped some recipes – she took chicken and dumplings home for the Major - we had a sweet time with them. The Major got out of breath real easy so we watched him. I didn't have air conditioners so I kept the ceiling fans running. I couldn't believe how normal it felt to have dinner with Major and Mrs. Edwards – this was Fantasyland just like the one in Disney Land. I didn't know what to think I only knew I loved how they treated us – me especially - I'd of never believed it had I not been living it. We sat around talking like we had been doing this together all of our lives. It was so peaceful – I didn't know life could be like this especially growing up on a farm where the work never ended.

On Sunday we went to an Episcopal Church – the Major called 'em 'whiskeypalians.' We stood and knelt, stood and knelt for over an hour – that's enough to make anybody take to drinking. We didn't go back there – it was more about their benign neglect than any other reason. But there was more – we had drifted into that gray area of sadness that settles in on a relationship when separation is imminent – and it was imminent alright. At least the sabbatical work started in a few weeks so...I could be preoccupied as though I wouldn't worry about my baby and where he was and what he was doing. The Major and Mrs. Edwards were gonna check in on me they said – I wasn't sure how faithful they could be with the Major being sick. We'd have to see how that worked out. I expected Evie to be putting her nose back into my personal life again.

Steven and I worked out how we were gonna kiss goodbye when he left on Monday. His parents were gonna watch us like hawks so we could have our moment. This 'thing' that we had to work out pissed me off and really pissed Steven off – his righteous anger is something to behold. Do not get into his crosshairs. Our family gathering and Steven's persistent love for me didn't just make me happy it changed my way of life – I had love again. In the three days that Steven and I spent in 'our home' before he shipped out for training we made love quite a few times – it was very sacred to me and neither he nor I were willing to write about it for this chapter. We talked endlessly – opening up to each other about our fears and our ambitions and our politics. Steven shared his fears with me – that he would make a mistake that could cause someone to lose their life even though he knew that those were the perils of war. Then he told me bluntly that I was his beneficiary if anything happened and that started my long months of being terrified. I didn't care about the damned money – I loved Steven and couldn't live without him. He kept telling me that the training is dangerous because they train for war. Of course he wouldn't take a job that kept him in the rear he had to be up front but that's another story. Over the next few months I rarely got more than three hours sleep a night add to that just missing my baby and my heart was torn up.




The Professor Ch. 15



GONE TO BENNING

Sunday evening Lissia and I spent on the sofa talking quietly and listening to our favorite music: Etta James, Ella Fitzgerald, the Platters, the Limelighters and a few classical composers as well. She would cycle through trembling and calm as we held each other. I told her I would write a letter to her everyday – I lied unwittingly – I would write to her twice a day. Usually the letters were one or two pages but I'm getting way ahead of myself. I took two pictures of her for my personal effects - one was a wallet-sized portrait for the school yearbook and the other was of the two of us at the Seaview in Galveston. Both fit into my wallet. While we were sitting on her sofa she handed me a small box, "What is this?"

"Open it baby – I want to think about me while you're away," she whispered.

I opened the box and there was a gold cross and chain, "Lissia you shouldn't have done this baby. You've done too much," I hugged her closely. My heart was aching so much for her – you'd think I was going on a tramp steamer for my 'Two Years Before the Mast Journey.'

As I held it between my fingers, she took it from me, but I held her hand still and kissed the cross and she then put it around my neck, "I love you Steven Michael Edwards. God brought you to me to restore my heart and you did with such beauty and tenderness that you leave me breathless and needy," She raised up on her elbows and looked deeply into my eyes - I felt something move in my soul that made me weak all over. Her love took us to a more profound place than I knew existed. We kissed and held each other for a very long while – we had to wake up to go to bed. The night before had finally come – now it was just a wake up. My duffel bag was packed and my AWOL bag was ready along with my orders and my very thin 201 file. We undressed each other and climbed into bed for our last night together. We didn't move much we just held onto one another – dreading the alarm clock that would hurtle us forward at a speed we weren't prepared to travel. 

Mom and Dad got to Lissia's home at around 0600 hours and we shared breakfast together. Our talk was small talk. We didn't make promises and swear blood oaths over what we'd do while we were apart – we dealt with the reality – Mom was a soldier's wife she would get Lissia through this. Dad had given me his advice – do as you're told – stay within the chain of command and don't speak unless spoken to. There are four right answers to any question: 'yes sir; no sir; I don't know sir but I'll find out sir; and no excuse sir.' Never make excuses and only explain your actions when you're asked to do so otherwise it is an excuse which is the skin of reason stuffed with a lie. Mom and Dad drove us to the university. I was still wearing civilian clothes until I got to in-processing at Benning. Lissia and I held onto to one another in the back seat. We pulled into the parking lot and there was the dark green bus with wire over the windows – it looked like a prison bus. We got out and I grabbed my duffel bag and AWOL bag and reported to LTC Calwell. He then walked with me to meet my parents. He and Dad got on very well and then he turned his attention to Lissia, "Dr. Wright this is a pleasant surprise. I am glad to see you this morning." He smiled to me, "Say your goodbyes Candidate Edwards we leave in ten minutes."

"Yes sir," I spoke to his back as he quickly stepped away. Everyone else was hugging and kissing. Lissia and I were new to this and nervous. I hugged and kissed Mom and Dad and then immediately forgot what we rehearsed for the goodbye kiss. Lissia was crying and I couldn't stand it. I took her into my arms and kissed her long and slow, "I love you sweet wife of mine."

"I love you my beautiful husband," she responded as we hugged tightly. The first sergeant hollered for everyone to board. I left the three of them standing there watching me leave – Mom and Dad had their arms around Lissia and my heart was breaking – they had each other and I had the Green Machine. I watched them and blew kisses to Lissia as long as I could. I hadn't noticed that someone was sitting next to me.

"I'm Richard Carls," he said to me.

I put my hand out, "Steven Edwards – nice to meet you."

"Who's the black woman?" he was being nosey.

"My fiancé," I reluctantly told him.

"Damn."

"What?" I wanted to know what that meant.

"Nothing...just damn. You two are brave as hell," he acknowledged.

"Richard I don't think about it as brave – she my fiancé, I love her," I felt an ache in my chest as I strained to see them waving at the quickly disappearing bus.

"I feel like shit Steve..." he confessed.

"It's Steven – Richard. Why do you feel that way?" I wanted to hear this.

"My girl and I sneaked around for three years and we got caught by her parents then mine and it was a bad scene," his heart was broken too.

"She from here?" I asked.

"No we're from Cuero. Her family has lived in Texas since the 1600s. Spanish land grant and all," he breathed out hard.

"Do you still love her?" I knew the answer.

He nodded, his face darkening, "I do. She writes me everyday – she's at Texas Tech."

"Don't lose hope Richard," I told him.

"Your girl looks very familiar but I can't place her. Is she a student at the University?" he was getting way too close.

"No...no she's not," he did ask a yes-no questions so I didn't feel it necessary to tell him much more.

"She is the most beautiful black woman I've ever seen Steven and right up there with the best looking women I've ever seen period," he nodded and shook his head. "Boy we're something huh?" 

We talked all the way to Hobby Field and all the way to Benning. He would eventually become my Ranger buddy – our friendship formed because of our ladies who didn't even know one another. The flight from Hobby to Atlanta took about two hours and we boarded a bus for Ft. Benning at the airport for another three and half hours. The Army likes you to arrive in the dark so you don't know where you're going, how you got there and how to get out of there. We were herded around like lost calves with lots of screaming and shouts of 'do it now!' We loaded out wall lockers and footlockers with our displays and identified our fatigues for the next day. We finally hit the racks at about midnight and they got us up at 0430 to begin our in-processing and take our oaths. We filled out paperwork, got shots, haircuts, filled out beneficiary forms, and uniforms and boots that we didn't have already. There were 178 of us ROTC boys in the first phase which was eight weeks. Same kind of physical training as the basic soldier gets with an increased emphasis on leadership – plus we wore R.O.T.C. brass on the collars of our uniforms and the peak of our caps and helmet liners.

Each morning and each night I wrote a letter to Lissia and during the week I would write two or three to Mom and Dad. Her letters came so frequently that I was overwhelmed at mail call – but we missed each other desperately. Three weeks into training we got a Sunday off and after chapel we could call home. I called Mom and Dad first and they had just had Lissia home with them for two days and to church. It seems they shared news from their letters with one another. I then called Lissia and for two minutes tears just ran down my face as I could hear her sobbing too. We finally got calmed. We were hurting pretty good I spent $12 on that call which was about 10% of my pay. I was on E-4 or corporal pay which was $153 a month – it would go up to E-5 pay or $200 a month when we finished basic. Anyway I told her I'd call her when I could. We professed our love.

Richard and I became good buddies. He worked hard too and I like that in a person. He had taken heart from my relationship with Lissia and began an earnest and renewed relationship with Maria Elena. She sent him letters like Lissia sent me letters – abundant letters. In her last letter she advised him that she had completed the application to change schools and would be starting at our university in the fall – all of her engineering credits and courses transferred. He went ballistic in his happiness. Knowing that she'd be near him, encouraged him to work even harder. The training weeks flew by and within two weeks of graduating Richard and I, along with thirty of our classmates who chose combat arms and were in the top 25% of our class were offered a chance to go to jump school - airborne or paratrooper training. We took it – of course. Lissia and my parents were disappointed that I would be staying four more weeks at Benning but Dad smoothed that over with Lissia and Mom telling them that this was a critical qualification. 

Richard and I joined a company of R.O.T.C. Candidates from other schools to form a company for becoming paratrooper qualified. We were both now E-5 for pay purposes but wore R.O.T.C. brass on our uniforms. We bought Corcoran jump boots and were soon learning the airborne shuffle. It wasn't long before we were making our 'cherry jumps' (five required jumps) that qualified us as airborne. We were now eligible to draw an additional $55 a month for jump pay provided the unit commander designated our platoon as airborne status which he did. It felt pretty good to have one ribbon – the National Defense Medal on our uniforms but it felt really good to have our cherry wings and bloused boots with our Class A uniforms – we felt like airborne troopers even though we had a long way to go. 

We got a ride on a C-123 back to Houston landing a few miles from my parents' home at Ellington Air Force Base. LTC Calwell named me the platoon leader for our airborne infantry platoon and as such was in charge of getting us off the aircraft and into formation. The C123 taxied to a stop and he gave me the command to get the platoon up and off and form up on the tarmac. I gave the command, "On your feet! Attention! Left side, right face! Right side left face...in columns of twos...forward march!" Once the platoon was off the aircraft I turned them and marched them to the shade of the hangar and halted them, "Platoon halt, right face! Parade Rest! Stand at ease! Okay gentlemen reform the platoon by squads. Squad leaders dress and cover your squads and bring them to attention." I watched as they formed and when the squad leaders completed their orders they all faced me. "Platoon...attention!" The platoon came to attention. I did an about face as LTC Calwell walked up. I saluted him, "Sir 1st airborne infantry platoon is ready for inspection sir!"

He returned my salute, "Thank you Platoon Leader Edwards. Gentlemen stand at ease. Your gear will come off in just a moment. Your families are waiting for you – it's time to grab a kiss and some hugging. Dismiss your men Platoon Leader Edwards." 

I came to attention and saluted the colonel, "Yes sir." I did an about face and called the platoon to attention, "Platoon!" The squad leaders followed with, "Squad!" I then gave the command, "Attention!" They came smartly to attention. "Squad leaders dismiss your squads," I commanded. My heart was about to explode as I turned to LTC Calwell, "Thank you sir for everything."

He shook my hand, "Steven you're going to make a fine commander. I'd like to have a word with your Mom and the Major as well as your beautiful fiancé." 

I swallowed hard, "Yes sir!"

We walked quickly toward Mom, Dad and Phylissia. My family, including my brothers, much to my amazement, along with Lissia met me in the hangar. Lissia came running with tears streaming down her face and we drew some stares as we hugged and kissed, "Oh Steven my wonderful soldier, my love I have missed you so much. I can't believe you're here. You're beautiful. Look at you! I'm not letting you out of my sight forever." She held tightly onto my arm, gripping my hand with intertwined fingers with a vise-like hold. 

"I missed you too baby. I love you so much," between kisses and hugs.

LTC Calwell spoke to us, "Good afternoon Dr. Wright. You and the Edwards should be very proud of your soldier." As my parents approached LTC Calwell saluted my Dad, "Major your son informed me that you are the recipient of two Distinguished Service Crosses from the second war and Korea. It is my honor sir to meet you and to congratulate you and Mrs. Edwards on this fine young Candidate. He graduated at the top of basic and airborne schools and not just for our unit – he was the number one graduate in his airborne company which included regular enlistees and volunteers. His leadership kept his platoon together and not one of those young men dropped out. This is a first for our ROTC unit." He turned to face Phylissia, "You have incredibly impeccable tastes in young men. I pray to God that you can live your lives out completely – you are both such wonderful people." With that he saluted us and I came to attention and returned his salute. Lissia was in shock. 

Mom and Dad came over to us and hugged us tightly. Then Mom did what she routinely does and took our pictures – we were both crying and laughing. She admired the uniform and Dad shook my hand – his eyes were red with tears, "Son I am so proud of you." We hugged and held each other. I was getting closer to the dream of getting graduated and commissioned before he died. I didn't know that this would be as close as Dad would get for us both.

I glanced over to where Richard was standing and there was Maria Elena. They were crying and holding one another too. I took Lissia's hand, "Come with me a minute baby I want you to meet someone."

Richard saw us coming and he smiled and said something to Maria as she wiped her eyes. We introduced ourselves. Maria was charming and beautiful. They would become our good friends for a long time and would marry a year after she moved to our University – they could marry but we couldn't. "Richard I'd like you to meet my fiancé, Dr. Phylissia Wright, sweetheart this is Richard Carls he's the assistant platoon leader."

Lissia extended her hand, "Richard it is a pleasure to meet you."

He took her hand, "Dr. Wright it is a pleasure to meet you – you're more beautiful than your pictures – you and Steven are a stunning-looking couple. Forgive my rudeness, Dr. Wright, Steven this is the love of my life and my fiancé Maria Elena Garza. Maria this is Dr. Wright and Steven Edwards – they're engaged to be married."

Maria shook hands with us both, "Richard has told me so much about you both. I'm honored to know such brilliant and accomplished friends of Richard's." We chatted for a while until our families got anxious to get back to our homes and welcome us properly. That didn't include my brothers who'd yet to speak to either of us. I could tell that there was a greater gulf growing among us. My life direction was becoming more certain and focused and they were still waffling and quavering in what to do.

We sortied again with my family. Lissia had driven her car so I put my duffel bag behind the seat and the AWOL bag in the trunk. There was barely enough room in her car for a toothpick much less a fully loaded duffel bag. Our life together was restarting. "Lissia I missed you so much." I couldn't keep my hands off of her she was so beautiful. "I love you sweet baby and desperately want to be alone with you," I confessed as she drove the few miles to Mom and Dad's home.

She wiped her eyes and drove, crying and laughing and chattering, "I know. I know. It's so hard to believe that you're finally home – oh God, how I love you Steven, my sweet husband. Let's get through today and we can have some very quiet time together to reacquaint ourselves to one another."

I smiled, "You don't know how I've longed to hear you talk and just be near you again. The Army is a rough and tumble world filled with profanity, violence and excess. Sundays were my only respite when I could talk with you on the phone and at least get my Lissia fix."

We met up at Mom and Dad's house where there were friends and barbecue waiting. As we walked in, me carrying my duffel bag and Lissia carrying my AWOL bag we were met by cheers and applause. There must have been fifty people there. The house was filled with laughter and the smells of South Texas cooking and barbecue. Hal came over, "Steven...I...well you look like Dad...a real warrior brother. I can't do what you're doing in the military or with Dr. Wright...I wish I could," and he walked away. Georgie didn't bother to come talk to me he kept a wide circle around us unlike our friends including Reverend Broughton and his wife. We feasted and talked into the night. I asked Mom and Dad to chat with Lissia while I went to shower and change.

Dad came over to me as I returned to the gathering, "It's getting late son why don't you and Phylissia go on home and get caught up. She's missed you something awful Steven. Come home for church on Sunday," he hugged me, "Son I am so proud of your accomplishments."

"Dad I'm following in some mighty big footsteps sir. Your military history became well-known while we were at Benning. I had to tell them you're retired field grade and they looked you up and found your history Dad. I didn't tell them about the DSCs or the Silver Stars – they found it out on their own," I was feeling overwhelmed.

"Son you have a lot of life coming your way and you've started well. Your commander is going out of his way to reward your diligence and hard work – you cannot let him down," he shook my hand and held his gaze steady into my eyes looking for the weakest part of my being. "Say your goodnights Son. Phylissia needs you right now. She cried for a week with us. Don't let on that you know..."

"We don't have secrets Dad I just appreciate your looking after her," I sighed heavily.

"Steven she is so brilliant and beautiful and loving. I couldn't have picked a more perfect woman for your wife than Phylissia; Lord knows she loves you dearly and that you commander recognizes how important she is to you is a credit to you both. Now get out of here before you piss me off," he winked.

Lissia and I said our goodbyes starting with Mom and thanked everyone for coming over. We got hugged and kissed by everyone with the exception of my brothers. Their girlfriends apologized to us and I just smiled, "It's okay. They're not there yet."

Our ride to Lissia's home was intoxicating. It was a soft night. "Steven I feel terrible about how badly I missed you. The first week you were gone I cried all week. Your Momma and I talked all the time and your parents came and got me for a few days. They did everything they could humanly do to keep me from being so desolated."

"That's what families do baby. How did they make you feel?" I wanted to know.

"I couldn't have been treated better by anyone – they are so kind," she admitted.

"I missed you Lissia...my heart hurt for several weeks. Being with people you don't know and away from home in a rough and tumble environment begs for a soft place to land and I had none except for our memories together. I would fall asleep asking God to watch over you...I never took my cross off. I looked at your pictures all the time that's how Richard and I got through the training knowing that we had our loves waiting for us. LTC Calwell is so impressed by you and us together."

She gasped, "Oh my...that's scary."

"No I think it's okay. He wouldn't have promoted me or been such an encourager to me if we were a problem," I spoke openly with her. No secrets.

We pulled into her driveway and in the twilight the lawn was beautiful. All the flowers were blooming and had filled in so nicely, "Wow the lawn looks magnificent!"

She was beaming, "I've been mowing the grass and raking and trimming in between my sabbatical work. I'm ready for us to work on this together."

We pulled her car into the garage next to mine and closed the doors. I took my small suitcase in and she unlocked the house. There were fresh flowers everywhere, "where did all the flowers come from?"




The Professor Ch. 15



"You planted them. We have a bumper crop. They've been my friends while you were away. Come with me," she held her hand to me as I set my bag down, "look what I did for us," as she led me to the previously unused third bedroom. "I turned it into an office for us." My jaw dropped – all of my books were here including the Oxford Dictionary and my typewriter. There was even a whole wall that was slate blackboard that she found at a school that was being demolished. Mike Cowart was a student of hers, my friend and the city police chief's son who came and installed the chalkboard. She slid her arms around my neck and we kissed for a long time – I had missed her so and these kisses were like a flame-thrower. 

I stopped us, "Wait one," I hurriedly locked the front and back doors and came running back to the office doorway where she was smiling with her head tilted against the door frame.

"My sweet, thoughtful husband. Come make love to me. It's been too long," she was so sensual and so sexy I couldn't resist her. This time I lifted her into my arms and carried her to the bedroom, turning out the office light as we turned toward our night.

"It has been too long. Is the cystitis done?" I wanted to know.

"Oh yes. I'm so horny right now there's no telling what's gonna happen baby," she whispered in that husky Lissia voice that I heard over and over in my long nights at Benning.

I laid her on the bed, kicking off my shoes, stripping down to my birthday suit as she sexily removed her clothes, watching me with the most seductive gaze I'd ever known. She was going to keep this promise with a certitude that I'd never known before. I began undressing her button by button kiss by kiss. The familiar was taking over, the fan's whisper, her radiant smile and the sweet scent of jasmine filled the air around us. I unhooked her bra and released her beautiful, rich brown breasts, her nipples standing tall and looking delicious. I kissed down her neck, spending time kissing her chest and then each breast with articulate and practiced care – I dreamed about this moment and how it would feel. I could conjure up a better feeling in all of my life as I suckled hers breasts – massaging each one in succession as she moaned and moved under my touch, "Baby I am so wet...feel me..."

I slid my hand down her warm belly to a very smooth pelvic region that had once been covered in rich black curls that always beckoned me to feast on her fragrant and lush pussy, "Wow you're so smooth..."

"That's one surprise," she kissed me with such passion that I almost choked on her tongue. It wasn't long before I unsuccessfully tried to lick and tease her pussy and clit. She was right she was drenched and soaking wet, "Steven I don't need any foreplay right now...come to me baby give me your big ol' hard dick...I need you so badly," she gasped as the head of my dick pressed against her pussy lips and she reacted quickly – her pussy swallowed my throbbing dick in one swift and amazing movement. 

I cannot tell you what happened...the only word I can use to describe our physical hunger for one another was ravage. We were so physical in our passion that our bodies were pouring sweat at the same rate as our ragged and pitched breathing. Our grunting and lust filled the house with a primal sound and smell that neither of us had ever experienced. As you can imagined our orgasms came fast and hard, adding to the heat, sweat and smells of an already overwhelming scene for us both. We panted out our love for one another and crashed and burned in each others arms. Somewhere around 0200 hours we awoke groggily and disentangled ourselves from one another. Lissia's eyes were soft, her smile tender and gentle, her breathing began once again where we left off with such syncopation that it would seem contrived were it not so real in our lives.

The next few days would be the most endearing memories I would ever have the chance to share with Lissia. We went everywhere together. I went to the registrar's office and collected my class cards (IBM keypunch cards that we used back in the dark ages) - I got all the classes I needed – Dr. Quiñones and LTC Calwell took care of that. This time when I went to the business office there was only a voucher to sign and one for the bookstore. I owed no money for school and it felt good. We then drove over to the Private university to visit her office on that very private university where she was the only black faculty. She was greeted cordially and I met her suite mates as she introduced me to them as her fiancé. I was stunned at the warmth of that reception. We walked around that campus for a bit – the fragrant live oaks accompanied our stroll. We were living in a dream state. Everything was happening so fast and so surreally. I spent more time at Lissia's home as she called it our home that I did at Mom and Dad's. We went to church with them every Sunday and had Sunday dinner with them. Often we would come on Saturday in time for Lissia and Mom to cook and talk. It gave Dad and me time to steel me for the inevitable.  

******************************

Our life settled into a beautiful rhythm. Lissia and I spent all of our free time together. We loved working in the yard. We built a white picket fence around her home with and arched arboreal entrance with a yellow climbing rose on the arbor. When school started, the studies and the ROTC commitment kept me swamped. I usually spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday night at her house. When I didn't have ROTC drill I was there working on my mathematics course load since my undergraduate studies were done. We didn't attend football games at my University instead we went to Saturday home games at the Private university. We were accepted there and few people ever knew who we were. Lissia and I began running together. At first she ran about a mile eventually she was running six or seven miles every day with me. We agreed that we needed to be healthy for one another.

One Saturday morning Mom called in a panic, "Steven you need to come home it's your Dad...he's bleeding." I hung up the phone and grabbed Lissia and we raced home just as he and Mom were getting into her car to take him to Galveston.

"Mom! You get in back with Dad – I'll drive. Lissia hop in the front with me," I was giving orders like I knew what I was doing. Our neighbor up the street was the police chief of our small town he had joined us, Chief Grantham signaled me to follow him and we were sailing along behind his siren at speeds reaching 100 mph. We made it to the USPHS Hospital in Galveston in about 20 minutes. They got Dad situated into the ICU while we paced the floor. Mom was in with him. I introduced Chief Grantham to Lissia, "Chief this is Dr. Phylissia Wright, Dr. Wright this is Chief Grantham." 

He took his hat off and shook her hand, "I heard Steven was engaged to a black woman no one told me that you were so beautiful," he behaved like the Southern gentleman that he was. The Chief directed us to some chairs in a waiting area, "It doesn't look good for the Major Steven." He was my Dad's friend.

"Yes sir I know," I spoke grimly as Lissia held onto my hand and arm, her tears were building. "Dad's been trying to get us ready but there's no way that you can be ready for this..." 

My tears rolled down my face and Lissia hugged my neck, "Oh Baby I'm so sorry just cry all you need to – I'm right here." Chief Grantham came over and hugged us to him – we all needed to cry.

After a while, an hour or more, Mom came out, "Son you and Phylissia can go in to see him – he wants to see you both." Mom hugged us, "Thank you for coming Son, your brothers didn't get home from their dates fast enough. I'm so damned angry at them right now." She went over and sat with the Chief.

We went into the ICU; the nurse in charge tried to stop Lissia but I told her, "This is my wife." That shocked and quieted her as we walked over to Dad's bed. They had a tube in his right lung and one down his nose. 

He grinned and whispered hoarsely, "It looks like my stunt worked..." he gasped for breath, "you came to see me." 

I was in no mood for his gallows humor as I sat down in one chair pulling another over for Lissia, "Lissia and I love you Dad. I know this is not what you wanted. I'll be here as long as you need me..."

He freed his hand from ours, "Phylissia make sure he goes to class and studies hard – his work is important. We both know what's coming..."

Lissia stood and got the wet, cool cloth from the bedside bowl and placed it on Dad's forehead, "Major we'll stay right here with you; neither Steven nor I will leave your side and we'll keep an eye on Mrs. Edwards." She leaned over and kissed him and his smiled wanly as she sat back down. His color was turning ashen. The ICU nurse came over and increased his oxygen and his cheeks flushed with color. She check the bottle where the blood from his lung had drained, it appeared that the hemorrhage had stopped. The medical team had two IV's running and had given him a sedative. So we sat there with him for a very long time. We went out and checked on Mom. The doctor had given Mom a valium – she was anxious – the valium had calmed her down but she needed sleep.

I signaled to Chief Grantham and he came over while Lissia sat with Mom, "How is he?"

"He's not good sir," I was feeling the weight of it all, "would you mind taking Mom home? She's going to need some rest. Dr. Wright and I will stay with Dad."

"Are you sure Steven?" He looked hard at me.

"Yes sir, you know how close I am with Dad," I told him.

He nodded and put his arm around my shoulder, "Let's go in and see the Major."

We went into the ICU so the Chief could see Dad. He patted Dad's arm, "Pete, I'm taking Marsha home. I'll call Inez to let her know we're coming. Your boy here and his fiancé are going to stay here with you. They'll call us if you need Marsha."

Dad nodded, "Thanks Ike." They shook hands as best they could – the Chief and I went back into the family area where Lissia was collecting Mom.

"Call me Steven if anything changes," he had tears in his eyes, "he doesn't look good."

"I will Chief Grantham. Thank you for everything sir," I shook his hand and he hugged me close like a son. He was a slight man with a leather-tough exterior. He didn't want me to see him cry. I couldn't have anyway because of my tears.

We walked over to Mom where she was standing and Lissia was telling her our plans, "Mrs. Edwards Chief Grantham is going to take you home. Steven and I are going to stay here with the Major. We'll call you if anything changes."

Mom hugged her, crying, "Thank you sweet child of mine, thank you. Steven is my heart and you are his. I love you both so much for doing this."

I hugged and kissed Mom and we took her to the Chief's car. I made sure I had the car keys and Dad's ID cards. We got her in the car and sent her on her way. It was getting late now and we were hungry. We went back to the ICU to check on Dad. The ICU nurse met us and said that Dad was resting – they'd given him a sedative and for us to go get some supper. 

We went to the Seaview where Mr. Spanos met us at the door with a big smile that suddenly went dark as we told him what had happened. He went and got his wife Effie who hustled us over to their family booth and they flanked us as their daughters brought food to us. They loved us and sheltered us in the turbulence of this growing darkness in our life. Dad's life was ebbing as ours was beginning – the Spanoses were not going to let us go through this alone. After supper Mr. Spanos followed to the hospital and we took him in to see Dad. Dad was awake and Georgie knelt at his bedside, kissing Dad's hand, "Oh my God please look with favor on you Son Pieter." He stayed only a short while and as he left, "Stefan you and doctor come to us when the night, she get long – okay?" He was blubbering and we hugged him and he kissed us both, "Momma will come back to be with you – okay?" He left wiping his nose with a huge handkerchief – blowing it like a foghorn, wailing softly as he walked.

Lissia and I pulled our chairs next to Dad's bed and sat down. Lissia held his hand and I patted his shoulder. He fell asleep while we kept vigil over him. Dad knew his time was near – the three of us knew. I was barely keeping it together and Lissia was not. She had pulled her feet up under her on the chair and seemed so diminutive and fragile. About two in the morning Dad's breathing got ragged and I climbed on the bed with him, propping him up against me so it would be easier to breathe. I'm not sure what time his life slipped from my grasp...I couldn't stop it...he coughed and his breathing got shallower and it was almost inaudible. I saw Lissia stand up and there was this chilling rattle in his chest, his grip on my hand slackened and he sighed out his last breath. I couldn't believe it. His heart monitor rang out its alarm and I hugged him to me...I don't remember what happened after that...Lissia will tell you...

FROM LISSIA – THE MAJOR DIES

When Steven's daddy died I was with him.  Steven was holding his Daddy's hand lying on his bed with him – I heard his Daddy give that death rattle and he breathed out. I got up and went over and put my arms around he and his daddy – we hugged him tightly as my baby cried his heart out – he would never really get over that – I think coming home from Vietnam and not having his Daddy to talk to about it broke his sweet heart. Those two were tight. The nurse on duty heard the alarm and came over and told us to step away...I had to pull Steven off of his Daddy. Two doctors came in and tried to resuscitate the Major but it was no use. His body was tired from fighting the cancer. We're never ready for our loved ones to die. Steven through all the blunt talks that he and his Daddy had was putting off the inevitable. Mrs. Spanos was waiting outside in the family area when Steven and I came out. She knew. She ran over and hugged us both so tightly, speaking in Greek and wailing. After a little while she went to get her husband – Steven and I went with the doctor to his office to call his Momma.

His Momma and brothers were home sleeping forty miles away. I held onto him as tightly as I could as he told her. He was fighting back the tears remembering what his Daddy had asked him to do – I could see his devotion to the duty his Daddy had asked him to perform and God love his dear heart he held up until he hung up the phone. The doctor left us alone in his office and my baby laid his head against my chest and I held him while he cried his heart out. He stopped crying, stood up and looked at me, "We need to go home. Mom's gonna need us." When he stood up he reminded me of those grand live oaks on the campus. There is this power in their presence – a quiet certitude of being. It was in Steven. We drove quickly to his Momma's house. I'd never seen anyone so calm as Steven. His brothers were completely distraught and wailing – his Momma just leaned on Steven. I could see the pain in my baby's eyes as he began writing notes. Their pastor showed up. Steven called LTC Calwell who began arranging the military funeral. Steven's ROTC unit would be the honor guard. By 8 a.m. Steven had the funeral home pick up his Dad's body. LTC Calwell already began arranging the cortege at the Houston National Cemetery. Given the Major's military record he could have been buried at Arlington National Cemetery but Steven said no that his Momma would want to be able to visit his Daddy's grave.

Mrs. Edwards sat between Steven and me and we held her close. She looked at me, "Phylissia I am thankful to God that Steven has found the love of his life who would be with him in his darkest moment. I love you for loving my boy." My heart was melting away into tears as she held onto me and cried against my breast. Steven hugged us both close to his heart kissing us both. He made his Momma go to bed and told his brothers to go to the church with Reverend Broughton to set up the gymnasium for the service. We pulled out the sleeper sofa and lay down to catch some rest. We held each other and rocked one another to sleep. 

Around 10:30 or so I heard a commotion and in that ruckus I heard the word 'nigger' the next thing I knew George, Steven's younger brother was on his back with a bloody nose – out cold as a chip. One of his friends attempted to take Steven on – at this point I was wide awake – that boy got the word 'fucking' out of his mouth and Steven kicked him in the chin, flipping him onto his back. Steven turned and grabbed Hal by the throat and told him, "I am done with all of you bigots. You take this trash out of Dad's house. You are not welcome here. You find somewhere to stay until after Dad's funeral. I told you I'd rip your heart out and I will – I'm coming for you. But Dad is dead and you cowards couldn't even go to the hospital to be with him while he was dying. Get the fuck out of here!" Harold roused George and George's friend and they left. It was a very bad day. The long-term effects of that moment wouldn't be felt until much later when even darker days would appear.

In those bitter few days when his daddy died I never left Steven's side; Steven took care of the funeral arrangements and keeping his Momma occupied. The funeral was amazing. Their pastor had never done a military funeral. The Army Color Guard came. The ROTC Unit came. The church gymnasium held seven hundred people and there were folks standing everywhere. There were twenty motorcycle police officers that escorted the funeral procession to the National Cemetery. I'd never seen anything like it. Steven was in his uniform, holding onto his Momma and me. The rifle squad of six men fired three volleys and then came the playing of 'Taps.' It's chilling, soulful soliloquy of mourning announced the last homage to a great warrior. Then the military pallbearers stepped up and folded the flag and finally with the folded flag, the Colonel presented the flag to Mrs. Edwards, "On behalf of the President of the United States and a grateful nation, I wish to present you with this flag in appreciation for your husband's service." It was the most somber place I've ever been. I had chills thinking forward. Would I be sitting there where Mrs. Edwards was receiving Steven's flag one day?

We were escorted back to the waiting family car and we returned to Mrs. Edwards home for a gathering of family and friends. Everyone talked about the Major with such reverence. I met his men from both wars – black and white who held the Major is such high regard and honor. Mrs. Edwards was recovering capably and ordering folks around in her normal Southern woman way with me at her elbow when one well-intentioned relative said, "Where did you find such lovely help?" Meaning me. Mrs. Edwards turned and faced her cousin, "This is Dr. Phylissia Wright – she is Steven's fiancé and my daughter – she is here to honor her Father not as MY help." You could have heard a fly fart it got so quiet. Her cousin begged my forgiveness and I nodded.

I joined Steven and LTC Calwell as they were chatting. Steven smiled and held his arm to me, "Hi baby. Thank you for everything."

I kissed him, "I love you Steven and whatever you or your Momma need it's yours."

LTC Calwell smiled to me and shook my hand, "Dr. Wright I cannot thank you enough for being Steven's strength through this. The love that you two share is powerful medicine for a shaky world that doesn't know how to behave with one another. You two could teach us how to love again." He said his goodbyes and made several offers of assistance to Mrs. Edwards which she would accept over time.

We went over and talked with his Mom. She was surrounded by family and hugged us, "why don't you two go home and get some rest. Steven, my Son, you are so strong but you need to sleep. Go home with your sweet wife. Get some rest. Phylissia take him home now okay darling?"




The Professor Ch. 15



I hugged Mrs. Edwards, "Yes Mrs. Edwards..."

She held her finger up, "It's Mom or Momma..."

I smiled to her, "Yes Momma. I'll get him home. He's exhausted," I looked into his much burned out eyes and knew it was time. He got changed into some civilian clothes and brought a week's worth of clothing with him. Our drive went quickly and quietly. We went to bed and Steven slept for ten hours mostly in my arms. I wanted to keep the ugly away from my baby. He'd had and seen enough for a while. He'd been strong enough for a while – it was time to turn loose. 

Two weeks after the funeral he had a crash – fortunately we were working on my lawn when it happened. Steven was busy planting azaleas; one moment he was digging and the next moment he was sprawled backwards on the grass – not moving. I panicked and almost broke a leg trying to get to him. He had passed out. The strain and stress had caught up with him. The fire-rescue medics came and tended to him. He was sitting up by the time they got to him – he stayed with me and we worked through his great grief. It was in those dark days as I watched him draw his strength from our conversations, visits by his commander LTC Calwell and his pastor's prayers; it was in that time that I became his woman forever there would be no one other than Steven for me – into eternity. I prayed so hard for him and he got better. Our romance kept its bloom. He and I focused on the little things, things so insignificant to the hilarious antics of college kids that we would be overlooked for priggishness and stodginess when nothing was further from the truth. 

Evie even noticed that we were 'different' - like we didn't know the world around us existed...we didn't. There was much to be busy with and she felt that she was losing her best friend and I guess that she was right too because Steven had become my best friend. We had her over to dinner several times but we didn't do the 'girlfriend stuff'. I tried to be compassionate about us but there was Steven and he worked so hard at home with his Momma, his studies, the ROTC and with us – the few moments we had we cherished and held close to us. Evie came over one afternoon while Steven was rebuilding a part of the garage wall. I didn't know that he heard Evie's part of our conversation, "Girl you know you ain't white. You cain't pass. What gonna happen when goes off to war? He gonna find himself a white woman and you gonna be shit outta luck!"

Steven came around the side porch where we were talking, "Dr. Marshal I don't appreciate your attitude. I know I've consumed a lot of Phylissia's time. It's my fault that she hasn't spent a lot more time with you since I've been in her life but that doesn't give you permission to be hateful ma'am. Phylissia's your friend and would help you faster than a cat could lick its butt. You owe her an apology ma'am..."

"Well what about you mister high and mighty ROTC-rat?" She scowled.

Steven stepped up on the porch and walked toward her, his eyes blazing mad, "Ma'am it's time for you to leave. You've been ugly and rude to two people who love you and that is wrong. Fact is you have no shame about your filthy mouth and nasty attitude. You're gonna need us one day and you'll have burned your bridges," he pointed toward the driveway, "your car is over there – it's time for you to leave."

I thought for a fast-minute she was gonna take a swing at Steven but she didn't she just broke down and cried and Steven went over to her and held her in his big old arms and I stood up and went over to her and hugged her tight to us, "Now, now Evie-darlin' it's alright. We love ya sistah and it don't matter how often we see ya we love ya. Doncha know that?"

She blubbered and cried, "Oh my babies I'm so sorry for my nasty-ass mouth – I deserved that but I miss ya so much," she leaned back from Steven's arms, "you handsome man I know why she love you so much – you ain't afraid of shit especially my fat, smart-ass self."

Steven patted her face and kissed her on both cheeks, "You play nice I've got work to finish..." He leaned around Evie and kissed me, "I love you baby so much..."

I love me some Steven. Evie never again opened her mouth like that. She and I sat on the porch while Steven kept his hands busy. Evie marveled at his industriousness and his passion for me, "Girl that man is somethin' else agin. They ain't none like him."

I agreed with her as I watched him work. His restlessness and his deep sense of loss kept him occupied. Our lovemaking had become anything but routine. His passion was always fiery tempered with a sweetness that always made him concerned about me. He told one afternoon around Thanksgiving that he never wanted me to feel like he took me for granted – he wanted me to feel loved and that our relationship was new every day. We never argued – we talked everything through completely – his respect for my opinion was so strong that he'd challenge anyone who'd try to shout me down to quiet my opinion. I always knew when that was coming. I watched his eyes then his hands, his muscles tensed up and then he stood and confront what he called the 'misanthrope' who would dare to deny me my 'sovereign right to speak my truth.' His command of the English language was mind-boggling.

*************************

Christmas was a healing time for the Edwards family and the Wright family. Steven felt that we needed to 'fix' things with our families. He was finishing up his work for two of his theory classes in the office. The familiar tapping of chalk on that blackboard meant he was deep into his work. The tapping stopped and the house was eerily quiet. I walked toward the office and saw that he had his head in his hands. "Hi baby...how's it going," I asked him.

He pointed to the board. It looked like a chalk-eating chicken had shit all over that board, "I solved the quagmire," he smiled.

"Really? It looks like some other language or something baby," I teased him.

I went over and hugged his neck and he pulled me into the chair with him. We snuggled and kissed for a long while and he suddenly stopped kissing me and said he needed to stand up. So I got up and he got on one knee and took my hand, "Phylissia Carole Wright will you marry me?"

I was flabbergasted, "Baby I said I would – what is this?"

He smiled with tears in his eyes, "I just need a yes or no...please?"

His tears started mine, "Yes my darling Steven of course I'll marry you..."

He pulled out a beautiful diamond engagement ring, yellow 18-karat gold with a 1-karat brilliant cut diamond and put it on my ring finger of my left hand, "I love you Lissia and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he stood and took me in his strong arms and kissed me the sweetest lover's kiss I've ever experienced. My heart was full of joy. I shook so badly I couldn't talk. 

Finally we pulled apart and I looked at the ring, "Steven this is too much!"

"I wish it could be more. Dad left me money with this note," he handed the note to me.

"My Son I want you to buy your sweet Lissia an engagement ring. Your Momma and I talked this over and this is what we wanted to do for the two of you. We love you, I'm sorry I wasn't around to see the ring on her finger, Love - Dad," I couldn't speak – I just looked into his beautiful, tear-filled eyes. We held onto to one another for a long, long time as we cried on one another's shoulders.

We decided our Christmas gifts would be reconciliation. We decorated 'our home' with a fresh cut balsam fir. Its fragrance filled the house. We picked a day and invited his Momma and my parents to our home for a Christmas dinner. We went down and picked up Mrs. Edwards – Momma and Daddy made the one hour drive and we had a very long talk among us. Steven thanked everyone for coming as we sat down at the table and then he started, "Mr. and Mrs. Wright I'm sorry you never got to know my father – that's my fault for being angry at how separated Phylissia felt from y'all. I was protecting her, the best I knew how. Mom I'm sorry I've been so hard on Hal and Georgie – I never meant to hurt you or Dad or his memory. It won't be long before I graduate and get commissioned and no doubt will be heading off to Vietnam. I don't want any hard feelings among us. I love Phylissia – I've given her an engagement ring after I asked her once more if she would marry me. I'm thankful to God that she loves me still and said yes. I'm going to need a lot of help from all of you while I'm away. You need to love one another and look after my baby – I'll be too far away to come running. Reverend Broughton said that whatever we ask in Jesus' Name we'll get – I ask tonight in Jesus' Name that we lay aside our differences and be a family. We need y'all in our lives."

It was deathly quiet in the kitchen when Momma spoke, "Steven I never thought my baby would bring home a white boy well you're a sure enough man so that being said I agree with you...me and Cyrus had a long talk when Phylissia called and invited us to Christmas dinner with you and your sweet Momma," she patted Daddy's hand and he nodded as if to say 'you doing fine Momma', "well we hope you'll forgive us for how we treated you but most of all how we treated our child our baby girl when it weren't her fault," she broke down and cried. Steven's Momma got up and put her arms around my Momma and stroked her head and hugged her to her heart. Daddy just cried as Steven got up and went over to Daddy and held out his hand, "Sir?" Daddy stood up with tears fallin' off his leather-like face and hugged Steven to him – I went to my men and hugged them. Our Christmas giving had been accepted. 

We talked until Daddy asked, "Are we gonna eat child or we gonna talk ourselves to death?"

Steven carved the turkey and we all pitched in and filled the table to groaning with cornbread and sausage dressing, giblet gravy, cranberry sauce and sweet potato casserole with marshmallows on top. Momma said grace and thanked God that he sent someone to love their baby that he was the best gift they'd ever had. 

Steven tried to mend fences with his brothers – they wouldn't talk to him. They would continue to create problems in his life and that was wrong.

We had Evie over for 'turkey leftovers' and she was hysterical – regaling us with stories of her love conquests and finally revealed that she was after her version of Steven – a burly, white stevedore whom she met at the Athens restaurant down near the ship channel. Steven and I were in shock. He just shook his head, "Evie, Evie, Evie you are something else again woman," he smiled and she cackled.

We had one event before Christmas that was mandatory for the ROTC unit and its members - The Annual Christmas Ball. Steven didn't assume I would go – he asked me to go. He was so polite, "Lissia, would you go with me to the Annual Christmas Ball for the unit? I want you on my arm as my fiancé – the love of my life."

I told him, "Of course I'll go with you. You didn't have to ask me you could have just said we're going..."

He turned and looked at me with a hurt expression in his eyes, "No I couldn't do that to you. I love you too much to order you around. We're going to spend the rest of our life together baby. There can never be an assumption about us – ever. I love you. It will always be my honor to be seen in public with you wherever we are."

His words just tore me up. I didn't know what to say, "Is it formal?"

"Yes. Do you have a dress?"

I smiled, "I have several it depends on how much of me you want me to show off," I winked at him.

"Lissia when you walk into a room everyone looks your way – you're sexy...you wear what you like the best and I'll be proud of you," we kissed and that started our lovemaking for the night. Our passion was so beautiful – the tempo and rhythm was second nature to us – we loved each other so much that we held each other into the night and woke in one another's arms...my bed would be very empty in a few months and not because of our sexual prowess or needs but because waking up with your love is far more desirous than anything you can imagine.

The night of the ball Steven picked me up wearing his cutaway dress blues. His commander promoted him to his unit's executive officer and he wore his rank well. He brought me cymbidium orchids in a wrist corsage. I wore my red gown that clung and a white fox stole. Steven was dazzled by my appearance and I'm glad for I asked him, "Is this okay with you?'

"Lissia you are stunning...you look like a celebrity or royalty dressed like this," he kissed me. 

Our entrance to the ball was through the receiving line where LTC Calwell greeted us with his wife, "Dr. Wright and Cadet Major Edwards how nice that you've joined us. Dr. Wright may I say that you are stunning. This is my wife Clarice, sweetheart this is Dr. Wright and Cadet Major Edwards."

We ladies took one another's hands and Mrs. Calwell told me how beautiful I was and I graciously accepted her compliment. We moved through the line and we had to stand at the end of the line behind Cadet Colonel Ciricci, the unit's cadet commander and his date as the unit's officers. Richard and Maria Elena came through and were thrilled to see us. Since I was wearing gloves Maria Elena couldn't see my ring. After all the Cadets and their dates arrived we joined Richard and Maria Elena – it seems Steven had already told Richard about the ring and Maria was begging to see it. We were giddy together. The night was lovely – we did get quite a few stares but with Steven's cadet rank they were at great risk in their assignments for being obnoxiously bigoted so he carefully listened to what was being said. His hand was always on my back – he never left my side. I had never been to such an amazing event before. There were several black ROTC cadets with their dates and I think they stared the hardest at us. A few of the young black women spoke to me in the ladies room wondering how I could date a white man – I showed them my ring, "We're engaged to be married," and that shocked them into complete surprise.

One young woman, Janet Pullen, was there with a date but really wanted to be there with another cadet that Steven knew very well. She cried when she saw my ring and asked me if she could hug me. She confessed that she was scared to be in love with man she really loved but that we had given her hope. Our fairy tale night ended as blissfully as it began. We had danced and enjoyed our evening like no other.

**************

Steven continues the story....

The New Year flew by as school was quickly coming to a close – I had a semester left. Mom was getting adjusted to Dad not being there – I hadn't made the adjustment yet but with Lissia's loving attention it was getting better. We still couldn't get married but we were getting closer. Lissia's sabbatical was going very well. She had framed in her first book and was writing all the background for it while we shared the office. She is brilliant and beautiful and my love. Her closeness to me during the time of my Dad's death changed my life forever. I would love her for the rest of my life and never want another woman. It was strange for me to feel that way I was young and my friends all had multiple girl friends – in fact they changed girlfriends like they changed socks. I wanted Lissia.

Each Cadet had to be reviewed by LTC Calwell. I went to mine not knowing what to expect. I reported in to him wearing my Class A or dress green uniform and saluted him, Cadet Major Edwards reporting as ordered sir!"

He returned my salute, "Have a seat Steven. I want this conversation to be brief. Your grades put you number one in our unit academically which means you've been recommended for the National Honor Society, Scabbard and Blade – your devotion to your academic, athletic and military responsibilities are cases in point to your character and integrity. Your Cadet Efficiency Review (CER) is a 100. With one semester left it is very likely that you'll be the Distinguished Military Graduate. It is because of your principled leadership, personal integrity, and your achievements in spite of great personal tragedy that sets you apart and as such you are being promoted to Cadet Colonel and student commander of the unit. Congratulations Steven," he smiled and handed me my CER and my orders for promotion to Cadet Colonel.

I was shocked. I couldn't wait to tell Lissia. The colonel knew it too.

"I won't keep you, I think that there's someone waiting for you who'll be thrilled to know that her fiancé is the new Cadet Colonel," he smiled and stood, shaking my hand. 

I saluted him, "Thank you sir!"

"Carry on Cadet Colonel Edwards," he returned my salute.

I walked quickly to my car ignoring three of my classmates who spoke, "Hi Steven!" I took about four steps and realized it turning around.

"Hey David, Jackie!" I called after them.

They turned around, "We figured you were so important that you forgot your lesser peers," they chided me.

"I'm sorry for that please forgive me?" I asked.

"You look like the cat that swallowed the canary," Jackie Ki grinned.

"Yeah I guess," my face flushed red.

"Okay general fess up...what is it this time...a PhD?" David teased.

"I wish," I smiled, "no I just had my annual review with LTC Calwell and it was a good one that's all. I was running to tell Mom and my girl."

I had said too much as Jackie smirked, "You know my sister isn't gonna like you having a girlfriend that isn't her."

"Who is it Steven?" David pushed the point.

"She's at the Private university," I admitted though not telling all of it.

"Oh a private school chick huh Steven?" Jackie had a wicked sense of humor that had a bite to it.

I just smiled and shook hands with David and hugged Jackie, "I've got to run y'all – this uniform is hot and I have some errands. Catch y'all on the flip side," I waved and burned a trail to the car.

Lissia was typing on her manuscript when I got to her...well our home as she reminds me routinely, "Hey baby I'm in here," I heard her call to me as I came in the back door. 

I walked into the office with a huge smile on my face, "Hello my love – I missed you and I love you," I told her as I quickly took her in my arms and kissed her. She was dressed comfortably in sweat pants and a sweatshirt in her sock feet.

"You look so handsome in your uniform," she cooed to me, "I love you sweetie. So how'd it go with LTC Calwell?"

I handed her the review and the orders. She read the review and began smiling, "So...only a 100? What else?" she kept reading and got to the orders as she read them the reality of what had happened sank in, "Oh Steven this is wonderful! I am so proud of you baby." She threw her arms around my neck and began kissing me. Of course I had no quarrel with how she chose to reward me. 

Lissia had news of her own, "I want to share something with you."

"Okay, you have my undivided attention," I smiled as I held her close.

"The private university has offered me a full professorship," she blurted it out.

"What?! Oh Lissia that is wonderful news! You see I told you how great a teacher you are..." I was grinning like a horse eating briars.

"Not so fast...I'm their first ever black faculty even if I'm on sabbatical," she confessed.

"What does that mean though? You're still an associate professor at the University and this is the next logical step..."

"Yes but it's very fast," she tried to counter.

"Okay let's look at this logically. You finished high school at sixteen went to Spelman and finished a double major in three years with a 4.0; you studied for a dual Masters in Science at Brown and were finished in two years; and completed your PhD at Harvard in four years. You were a twenty-three year old PhD. Is that because you're black? I don't think so – the high school and undergrad schools were black schools right?" I pushed her hard.




The Professor Ch. 15



She tightened her lips and grudgingly gave in, "Yes..."

"Look at me Phylissia Carole Wright, the love of my life, soon to be my wife," I urged her and she slowly raised her face to mine revealing the tears that our discussion prompted. I wiped her tears and held her in my arms, "Oh my sweet, brilliant, beautiful wife. I love you so. You astonish me with your brilliance and intellect so why would you denigrate the wonder of you – God made you this brilliant – are you kidding me? I hope you'll take their offer. I see how hard you work and how much of you that goes into your teaching...no baby you might get away with that 'I got this cause I'm black thing' with someone else but not with me. I know how brilliant you are and don't try to tell me I'm biased – I know I am about you and us but this is about your intellect and abilities and there's no bias in me about that - you're the best of the best." Lissia realized she wouldn't win this argument and began holding me close and when we're like this we end up in bed. We spent the remainder of the morning in bed sharing our love. She had loved me through a very ominous time in my life and never let go of me – her loving touch brought calm and balm to my savaged heart. She says that we reclaimed one another – it's the one thing that we'll agree to disagree on. 

After a long while we showered and called Mom telling her that we were coming to pick her up for lupper (lunch/supper) that we had some news to share. Mom was excited to see us, "I'm glad you called me I got home late and wanted some lunch but looked at the clock and thought, 'rats I'll ruin supper'." She hugged and kissed us. She and Lissia chatted while I changed clothes and hung up my uniform. I came out and collected my ladies and we headed to Harwell's Barbecue.

The Harwells were glad to see us and just started bringing food. While we were eating I told her about the promotion and the CER, "I've been promoted to Cadent Unit Commander Mom and got a 100 on the CER."

She patted my hand, "Your Daddy would be proud of you like Phylissia and I are – I love you two very much," she started crying a little, "I'm gonna miss you when you go off to the Army Steven – Phylissia and I will be pretty lonely but we'll make do won't we baby?" Lissia and Mom hugged and cried a little bit while I felt pretty uncomfortable like I was running out on them – they eventually turned their attention back on me.

Lissia smiled and stroked my hand with one hand and held it with the other, "Steven is number one in his Unit and should be the Distinguished Military Graduate and is a member of the Nation Military Honor Society Scabbard and Blade," she smiled and kissed me.

Mom got very emotional and began tearing up again. We were all thinking about Dad. I could feel him nearby – I know that sounds strange but there are times when you can almost feel the presence of that lost person in your life and this was one of those times. "Steven I know how proud your Daddy was of you and his buttons would be popping off his shirt right now, me too son, me too."

While were enjoying our meal and our time together, I purposely asked Lissia how her sabbatical was going and she talked animatedly about the experience. It had been going so well that the Private university offered her a position as a professor. She started laughing about that, "I know why they offered me a full professorship...I'm black and they don't have any black professors...so they asked me."

Mom looked shocked and patted her hand, "Darlin' it may be the reason for someone but you don't know how gifted a teacher you are. Steven has told us about your work and how he admires your ability to explain complicated topics as though they're the simplest things in the world. I don't believe it's because you're black I believe they see the gifts that you have in teaching."

I massaged Lissia's neck, "Sweetheart you don't see what I see and what Mom sees. We've watched you in extremely difficult situations hold your own and not back down from what you know to be the truth. You dealt with your parents, your pastor, Evie, with several arrogant and ill-intentioned boys and taught them a lesson all about how to love freely. It's your deep well of empathy and your capacity to rise above the most brutal of circumstances to be this wonderfully brilliant teacher and scientist of societal behavior. Your beauty and grace are the whipped cream and cherry."

Lissia had tears in her eyes, "you two are biased..." she wept and I held her close to me. We talked for a while with the Harwells who were equally smitten by Lissia and her grace and polish. It was as though she was blooming right before my eyes. I love her so much. 

The days were growing short for us as the school year was ending and once again I would be traveling to Ft. Benning for further training as the intensity would be ramping up. Lissia could feel the stress for both of us and how it would impact her. As we grew in our love she would become integral in our family life and with Mom. They were getting so very close to each other. Mom had always wanted a daughter and she got one in Lissia. They talked on the phone when I wasn't there. I loved the relationships that were growing because of love not the lust that called us from our corners of the separate worlds into one time and one moment for one another. Now we had become what we so desperately sought – family. There was a void that Dad filled and it was his impetus that pushed the truth of how we were to feel about one another without regard to our race. I regret that I didn't say it to him...Lissia saw that in Dad and loved his heart openly. She missed that in her own father and that was something I saw in their relationship – the distance that she tried to recover with limited success unfortunately for Cyrus.

*******************

We had a few weeks together before it was time again to head to Ft. Benning again. This time the training would round out the initial infantry training for leaders which was an intensified infantry MOS (military occupational skill) that all infantryman receive coupled with leadership coursework as a continuation of the ROTC school year work. Everyone in this course was ROTC. I had a little more freedom and was afforded a Cadet Platoon Leader slot for eight-weeks. Richard Carls got a Platoon Leader slot as well which is great for two students from the same university to achieve that honor. We worked extra hard and finished in the top three and were offered the chance to add another skill set by extending four weeks to complete the Army Pathfinder Course. The training included insertions by helicopter not just the traditional parachute jumps to establish landing zones (LZs), infiltration and exfiltration routes. Of course this training kept Richard and me away from our sweethearts which was difficult for us and them. There were ten of us who attended the Pathfinder Course from our cycle of infantry training – Richard and I were the only two from Texas and when we graduated we hopped a MAC (Military Assistance Command flight) out of Warner Robins Air Force Base near Macon Georgia that took us to Ellington Air Force Base near my Mom's home. They were all waiting for us. Our uniforms now included jump wings, bloused Corcoran jump boots, the officer brass of crossed rifles for our branch assignment, our pathfinder badges and our maroon berets signifying pathfinder status. We were beginning to look the part of soldiers anyway.

Lissia had picked up Mom to meet me. I was so glad to be home to hold her in my arms. I was pretty lonely this time with Dad being gone and even though I got a lot of mail from Lissia and Mom I missed my dad's brief even terse notes on how to present myself militarily. Our homecoming was caught on film by some photographers from the Houston chronicle and our picture made it into the paper. Fortunately Lissia had accepted the position at the Private university so she got not heat from the University where I was studying – we didn't give them our names and no one could identify us. The caption simply read a soldier and his girl greet one another at Ellington. We drove to Mom's home where I changed into civilian clothes. We had a long conversation with Mom. She had cooked a pot roast with rice and pan gravy, lots of salad and ice tea and of course peach pie with hot coffee for dessert. After twelve weeks of Army chow I needed real food. Mom updated me on a few high school friends one had died in Nam and another was seriously wounded. Those two buddies spent a lot of time in our home growing up. 

Lissia was beginning to sense the grave risks now. I held her left hand in mine kissing her ring, "I won't be so naïve as to tell you not to worry."

She was very quiet, "Don't do that. I'm gonna worry baby – I'm so scared right now I can't get my breath."

I slid my arm around her waist and pulled her to me, "I know sweetheart I wish I could make your fear go away – I can't."

She turned to face me, "Steven it's the time like this where my heart hurts that I can't give you a baby. I want a part of you forever and my heart hurts so badly that I can't do that for you – I feel like half a woman..." She wept quietly with Mom and me as I held her. 

Mom came over and put her arms around her too, "Oh sweet child I know this is hard but you two have more than most couples – you have a very strong love for one another – you've gone beyond like to love and your futures together. Hold on to one another tightly – the world can't touch you my babies." 

Lissia calmed down enough for us to help clean up the dishes and put away the leftovers. We were staying at Mom's house tonight so we made up the sleeper sofa. We didn't have to worry about Hal he had joined the Navy and was in boot camp. Georgie was at the lake with his girlfriend so we had the house to ourselves. We would still respect Dad wishes and save our sexual relationship for when we got home. It was good to hold Lissia in my arms again. The separation really makes the heart grow fonder. We whispered and kissed and held each other all night, waking in one another's arms. 

Lissia became more and more beautiful with each passing day. Her countenance had changed. "Lissia every time I see you, you are more beautiful and so much more relaxed," I stroked her cheek, brushing her hair back.

"It's you Steven."

"What is me?"

"It's how you treat me and love me that has changed me inside. I'm not even remotely that person you first met almost two years ago. You never hesitated to love me to touch me to hold to be tender with me. So many white folk through the years have acted like our skin color would rub off and stain their skin. You love me so easily and so beautifully I have to wake up and pinch myself just to make sure I'm not dreaming. I wake up sometimes and just watch you sleep. I touch your face and you always pull me to you – and when we're in public you behave as though I'm the only person alive – you never hesitate..." Her eyes were so tender. 

"Sweet baby mine you are the only person alive for me. As sure as there is a God in heaven you are the only woman for me – you're the one God sent for me. We've always had a powerful sexual attraction for each other but there was from the beginning an unspoken acknowledgement at first that there was more to us than sex," I confessed to her.

She smiled, "Yes – you're right about that. I can still hear me telling you that I'm black and you saying you noticed that about me – oh God Steven you just took my heart by storm – with you we've always been normal...you know...I mean this is the 1960s who thinks that black and white couples are normal other than us and maybe that sweet Janet Pullen now that she's met us. I now believe that we'll be able to marry one day soon – the Supreme Court has a case that I'm sure they're gonna rule in favor of this black woman - white man married couple from Virginia, making miscegenation laws unconstitutional. I can't wait to be your wife legally in the eyes of the state of Texas. I don't want to run away to get married and live away from home."

"I know baby - me too," my heart hurt so badly over this issue that it always felt like a heart attack I imagined would feel. I held onto her for a very long time – I couldn't get enough of her in my arms, smelling her hair, feeling her soft skin and touch of her sweet lips, her soft sighs as lay still together. I loved the way stray hairs would break loose and frame her face as though they were forest ferns adding dimensions her features in sweet and endearing mental images that would linger with me for nearly fifty years. Her long sleek neck and smooth face atop her graceful shoulders curving gently down her back and nicely rounded cheeks long, strong legs like a dark gazelle that allowed her the beauty of movement that stopped me wherever I was to watch her glide so effortlessly...she never knew how beautiful she was growing up because of an evil act...I prayed every day that she knew now. I was memorizing her in fine detail for the evitable of my future. I knew there were going to be times when she would seem so far away that I would need to remind myself that there is beauty, grace and elegance in the world waiting for us – and she was mine into eternity.

****************

Graduation came with great trepidation for Mom and for Lissia. They were going to pin my lieutenant's bar (actually Dad's gold bars) on my epaulets after I received my dual degrees. Under my graduation mortar board, gown and Master's hood was my uniform. There were some protesting booing when it was announced that I would commissioned a second lieutenant at the afternoon ceremony – the protests against the Vietnam War had hit our campus. I had become a target of the protestors that day as did all of my fellow ROTC graduates. The only good thing that came out of the booing was the crowd cheered louder than the protestors booed. 

After the degree awarding at the college ceremonies we retired to the gymnasium for the ROTC commissioning ceremony. I felt very conspicuous when LTC Calwell called my name and he then asked my Mom and Lissia to come forward to pin on my bars. He advised everyone there that because I had graduated at the top of our class and that I had applied for and been granted my commission as a regular Army commission rather than a reserve officer commission which carried with it a lifetime commitment to the military. He went on to explain that I had been the unit executive officer and commander, and was heading to Ft. Benning for the Infantry Officer Basic Course and then to the United State Army Ranger Training. I could feel the tears rolling down my face as I thought about Dad and how I wished he was with us. Lissia held tightly onto my hand and arm with her hands. I could feel her watching me. I was trying desperately to control my emotions but Dad wasn't here – I hadn't worked hard enough or quickly enough for him to see this take place. LTC Calwell announced that my Dad would have been proud to be here and sadly shared his passing with those gathered. The gymnasium was deathly quiet as he said, "Steven's mother Mrs. Marsha Edwards and his beautiful fiancé Dr. Phylissia Wright will stand in his father's stead pinning on 2nd Lieutenant Steven Michael Edwards' gold bars as a regular Army officer – the same gold bars that his father Major Peter Edwards a two-time recipient of the Distinguished Service Cross for valor, wore." He then asked me to raise my right hand for the administration of my oath of office and repeat after him, "I, Steven Michael Edwards, having been appointed an officer in the Army of the United States, as indicated above in the grade of Second Lieutenant do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign or domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservations or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office upon which I am about to enter; So help me God." I hugged and kissed Mom as she cried and then Lissia and I hugged and kissed with our lover's kiss for the whole world around us to see. I didn't realize that we had received a standing ovation. I think it was because we had broken through a bigotry barrier and not anything I had accomplished. 

We took our seats and waited as each graduating senior was commissioned. Richard graduated as DMG also and chose to receive a regular Army commission because of his academic and military success. He and I would be traveling to Ft. Benning together again – he would become my Ranger Buddy. He and Maria Elena were married by now and their lives had started together in earnest. We were thrilled for them. After the ceremony Richard, Elena, his parents, her parents, Mom, Lissia and I were standing talking when one of my ROTC fellow graduates Wesley Reissen, also a DMG, joined us with his fiancé, a beautiful young black woman whom Lissia had already met, Janet Pullen, who was now a seminary student at Union Theological Seminary in New York and Wesley was heading to Ft. Benning with us.

Janet came to Lissia and hugged her, "You gave me the courage to say yes to Wesley. Thank you both for being so brave for us." 

Maria Elena spoke up, "That goes double for Richard and me. If you two hadn't been so courageous and unyielding in the face of all this bigotry we would not have had the courage to go forward." There wasn't a dry eye among us. 

LTC Calwell joined us, "Well this is a gathering of eagles if I've ever seen them. Steven I know your Dad was watching you receive these accolades. Very few people realize how hard you have worked just like Richard and Wesley. All of the stress of studies for a bachelor/master's degree program, ROTC and being so bold as to love the woman of your dreams – we all admire the courage that you and the very accomplished Dr. Wright have displayed for us. May God bless you. Now go enjoy your thirty days before you report to your assignments - all of you – I have some incoming freshmen to break in..." he smiled and walked away. 

We all said our goodbyes for a while. Lissia, Maria Elena and Janet would form a tight circle of Army wives and fiancés. We hugged, kissed and shook hands. Richard, Wesley and I would ride to Benning in my car so we'd see each other soon enough. Lissia and I were going to Mom's house for a graduation barbecue and then we would go home to spend our last thirty days together for a while. We didn't know what was waiting for us. Lissia's parents didn't come even though we invited them – she was understandably disappointed – but we were going to go see them anyway.

We made the rounds of friends, professors and family. The trip to Lissia's parents' home was a tense on yet again. This time I met all of her family. There was no room in her family for a white guy or for the woman who'd marry a white guy. Her parents got swayed by their Marcus Garvey-influenced preacher. We had planned to spend a few days there but left after a few hours. Our circle of friends had shrunk to the faithful. We went to visit my pastor and his wife; high school teachers and then we went home to our home and planned our wedding. The Supreme Court, on June 12, 1967 dismantled miscegenation laws in the landmark case of Loving v. State of Virginia and we were ecstatic. There were a few barriers yet to overcome – the fourteen day waiting period for blood tests to get a license and the $25 marriage license fee which we had. We decided that we'd get married after I finished Ft. Benning and before my next assignment. We went to Pino's to celebrate and joined Dr. Hunter and his wife Estelle. It was a joyous evening with dear friends. Pino sat with us for a while and chatted, we ate and talked, ate and talked. It was late when we left for home.




The Professor Ch. 15



We stayed in bed off and on for the next two days making love and being lazy. We were both so excited that our wedding day was just over the horizon or so we thought. Too quickly the time came for us to pack our bags to head to Ft. Benning. We spent a long time saying goodbye and eventually with the car packed we drove straight through to Columbus Georgia stopping for gas, food, restroom breaks and to changes drivers. We reported in to our commander for IOBC (Infantry Officer Basic Course) Class 67-8 at The School Brigade, 1st Student Battalion. We lived in the Bachelor Officer's Quarters (BOQ) and had the pleasure of sleeping in until 0600, eating in the officer's mess and driving to our unit for training. I warned the guys we needed to be running and staying in shape – fortunately some other guys there who'd received direct commissions and had been through Ranger Training confirmed my urging. So we devoted our off hours to staying in top shape while our classmates didn't work as hard. We had plenty of time to call home and talk with our sweeties, preparing them for the inevitable of Ranger School where we would have little contact with our families.

We finished IOBC and went right to Ranger Training and it started with Ranger Indoctrination and Preparation (RIP) School meant to weed out the class to a manageable size from 180 to around 90. Over the next seven weeks of days and seven weeks of nights we would run ten miles every morning, live on little food, water and sleep. Run with sixty pound ruck sacks, carry our Ranger Buddy if he stopped or be carried if we stopped. It was brutal and most of us lost all of the fat on our bodies. We were exhausted - looking like survivors of Dachau. The words of the Ranger Creed were burned into our brains especially the last line, "Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude required to fight on to the Ranger objective and complete the mission though I be the lone survivor. Rangers lead the way!" It was chilling to realize that we may find ourselves in that circumstance. Vietnam was raging now and we were going there – no question. We got our Ranger Tabs and went to the Officer's Club to have a steak – Richard Carls, Wesley Reissen, Mike Jacobs (Wesley's Ranger Buddy) and me. It was a somber celebration if not modest. None of us had the stomach for a wild party we just wanted to get our orders and go home. Richard and I got orders for Vietnam. Mike and Wesley were going to Vietnamese Language School and then to Ft. Bragg for Special Forces Training. Richard, Wesley and I drove back home for our leaves and for me a wedding.

I was home a week with Lissia and Mom when I got a devastating telephone call – my leave had been cancelled and was ordered to report to Travis Air Force Base immediately. The war had taken a desperate turn and more officers in our skills sets were needed – huge enemy build ups cut a lot of leaves short. Lissia and I had little time to get married so we postponed the wedding. It was heartbreaking. Mom and Lissia were terrified and I was angry – after all that we'd been through and now this. But I would do what I was ordered to do. Our goodbye was so hard – neither of us knew if we'd see each other ever again. We just didn't know how real that would be. 

We were at Travis two days before we were put on a civilian aircraft headed for Bien Hoa, South Vietnam. We stopped on Oahu and later on Wake Island to refuel. When we landed in Bien Hoa we were hustled through the lines of guys with their thousand yard stares laughing at the 'cherries' – us. I wouldn't see Richard for a very long time he was sent right away to Cu Chi with the Wolfhounds to fight the tunnel wars and I was sent to Phu Bai to the 101st Airborne, 1st Brigade, to join a Long Range Reconnaissance Company (LRRP). We'd had Thanksgiving at home but Christmas would be spent here. I filled out all my paperwork naming Lissia as beneficiary for my SGLI and Soldier's Overseas Deposit savings account. I made it to the company area and immediately got pulled into a platoon assignment as a rifle platoon leader of a LRRP platoon that was filled with two and three tour airborne Rangers who didn't need a brand new 2nd Lieutenant to deal with. They'd lost the three previous ones KIA (killed in action). They stayed away from me as I got to know Juan Gomez the 25 year old platoon sergeant, sergeant first class – a real warrior. He would teach me how to be a good officer and Ranger. We ran a lot of patrols, had a lot of fights with larger and larger unit. We called in a lot of heavy airstrikes. We were seeing new rifles, gear and uniforms on the dead NVA (North Vietnamese Army soldiers). There was a huge offensive coming from all of our snooping and following replacement columns listening to their communications - it was on the way and we couldn't stop it with our company it would take four months to turn this offensive around when it happened. We warned division and no one seemed to be listening except the Marines at Khe Sanh. On January 30, 1968 all of South Vietnam exploded in battle – the New Year or Tet was supposed to be a cease fire – no such luck. We operated out of Camp Evans and ran patrols daily standing down occasionally to resupply and rearm. By March we had broken the back of the NVA offensive but Walter Cronkite declared the U.S. had just lost the war and the political tide turned against our involvement and the U.S. soldier – we were now murderers and baby killers.

Then on April 4, 1968 a real horror occurred Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated in Memphis. I immediately called Lissia via MARS (Military Amateur Radio Station). She was terrified. Her life had been threatened because of our engagement. I told her to lock up her home and head to the country. I was scared for her life. I knew the pain of war losing 12 men wounded or killed in action – i didn't want to find out that Lissia had been injured or worse killed because of the riots that we both knew were coming. Dr. King's assassin was white. The country exploded, Vietnam was an armed camp with black and white soldiers menacing one another. I was made the race relations officer for the brigade since my fiancé was black as though black soldiers I didn't know would trust a white officer. On April 19th the situation worsened – my platoon got into a fierce fight with withdrawing NVA. I was hit badly in the chest, abdomen and thigh. I woke up three days later on the USHS Repose. What I didn't know was that a Stephen Edwards was killed the same day in I Corps that I was badly wounded. The notifications got crossed up – Mom and eventually Lissia were told that I had been killed. 

I was in the hospital at Camp Zama Japan when I found out that Mom had suffered a stroke shortly after the Army visited her and told her I was killed. She never regained consciousness. My brothers, both of whom were in the military went home for her funeral – I couldn't be moved. I didn't know where Lissia was and couldn't get in touch with her. Phone call after phone call with no answers. I had no contact from my brothers even though they found out I was alive. I was utterly alone now. Lissia had gone to Maine to stay for a while – but I didn't know it. Evie was up there teaching at a small college. Our long winter of despair had begun. After two months at Camp Zama I went home for convalescence leave but I had nowhere to go. Mom's house was locked up tight. I had keys so I opened the house and got my car out of the garage and headed to Galveston. I stayed at the Flagship Hotel for two weeks. When I got back to Mom's house I went to my safe deposit box and opened it. Inside was Lissia's engagement ring, my savings book and our personal effects that had value. I closed it out. Packed the car and headed to Ft. Polk in Shreveport where I would take command of an AIT (advanced individual training) company of infantry destined soldiers. My down time was spent trying to find Lissia. What I didn't know was that she had decided after a year to go to Vienna Austria to obtain a PhD in psychology and counseling. 

I returned to Vietnam in 1969 as a battalion executive officer with the 101st. After that tour I returned to the states to go back to school for a PhD in statistical methods and forecasting at Virginia University in Blacksburg Virginia. While there I worked with the ROTC unit and its corps of cadets. After I finished my PhD I taught three years at West Point and then went to the Pentagon to work in planning and operations – my wounds were severe enough to keep me out of a line unit again. I would spend thirty two years in the Army retiring as an O-6 or full colonel. I never married – I had given up on ever finding Lissia – I wasn't interested in anyone else. The internet came along and in 1998 I searched her name and found her in Maine. I didn't know what to do with that information so for two years I was in a deep sadness at all the lost years and finally my dog and I drove to Maine to fish. I found her office where she was serving as a psychologist and called her from my hotel room in Bar Harbor. We began all over again and it took twelve years before we spent any amount of time together. We pieced our story together and it was stunning when we looked at all that had happened. Lissia will finish our story for you - it still pains my heart to share this.

THE CONCLUSION – LISSIA

When the war got worse it ripped Steven and me apart. Our wedding got postponed in the midst of great joy about our finally being permitted to marry in Texas. The hurt in Steven's heart was so great that it cut through me like an axe. I got real scared for him going into battle. I knew Steven, I knew he'd be in the fight so fast – I was afraid he'd be worrying about me all the time – it was a struggle when we were together that he was so protective of me I was scared now for his safety that he'd be thinking about me and get himself killed. That war did get ugly in 1968 and right at the end of the enemy attacks Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was shot to death by a white guy in Memphis Tennessee. About three in the morning on April 6th I got a strange telephone calls from an amateur radio guy who said he had a collect call from a Captain Edwards would I accept it. Of course I would – Steven was calling from Vietnam worried about me. It was hard to talk between my crying and his anxiety plus having to say 'over' every time I finished saying something. He had a right to be worried for my safety. A lot of folk knew we were engaged – he told me in no uncertain terms to 'go home' to the farm. Lock up my house tight – don't wear my engagement ring – hide pictures of us – lie to my family if I had to – to let them know we had 'broken up' – I didn't argue with a guy used to jungle fighting – I did it. Later our home got vandalized, shot full of holes by angry folk. Momma and Daddy let me stay and truly believed that we had broken up – we hadn't but Steven couldn't take a chance. I put the engagement ring in Steven's safe deposit box along with his personal records and valuable documents and items. At one point Daddy wanted to kill Steven – he and my brothers and uncles and cousins were laying for him – even two cousins in Vietnam who swore to find him and kill him. Then a strange thing happened, I got word from Dr. Hunter that Steven had been killed. Since Steven had changed the casualty notifications to protect me I knew nothing about his condition. He wasn't dead though I didn't know it. He had been gravely wounded and was in the hospital somewhere. I called his Momma immediately. A neighbor answered the phone and told me that Steven was dead and his Momma had suffered a stroke and was in a coma. She never came out of the coma. My world was shattered into tiny pieces. I fell into a deep depression and hurt. After a few months I went on leave from the Private university, called Evie in Maine and left Texas to stay with her and heal.

I would eventually go to Austria and study psychology earning a PhD in industrial psychology and counseling, spending ten more years in Europe honing my skills. I eventually heard from Evie that there had been a mistake that Steven had not been killed. I can't tell you how bad my heart hurt. I buried myself in my work and had no social life. It turns out that Steven and I reacted in the very same ways – work became our solace. I wrote letters to him every day that never got mailed – he did the same thing to me. His poor heart was so broken – the death of his Mom, the estrangement by his brothers that has lingered, my familial estrangement and brokenness. We ran in parallel tracks – we were so much akin to one another. 

I eventually moved to Maine and opened an industrial psychology practice which involved shipbuilders and rail workers. I took long walks on the beaches of Maine and spent time reading and writing until one day I got a telephone call that turned my sorrow into a bittersweet joy - Steven found me – he was in Bar Harbor to 'fish' but the truth is, as he told me, that he had come to find me after thirty years of searching. The seventeen years I spent in Europe really put a lot of road blocks up for Steven's searches for me. But we started over. We visited for two days in Bar Harbor – that time was spent talking and crying. Our hearts were so wounded it took a long time to heal – we were both so scared and Steven had so much guilt to deal with. He suffered from survivor's guilt, a subset of post traumatic stress disorder; guilt over not being able to keep me safe; and a terrible sense of guilt over the death of his beloved mother.

*******************

Epilogue

Many of you have read our story faithfully and we thank you for being patient. We got married on July 12, 2012. It took years to heal but I have my Steven for however long this shall be. We'll answer your questions about us – but we won't write anymore to this story. We're finally together. We know that these stories are generally focused on 'raw sex' well we've been there too but inside of our physical relationship is the soul of our being – our deep and abiding love for one another. We share so much together – our love of each other; education and continuous learning; our love of the outdoors and being healthy; our political and economic views and our faith. Thank you for being interested in us. Drop us an email – we'd love to hear from you.



The Professor Ch. 2



Reaching my doorway, as I fumble for my keys, I feel his presence near me. The feeling that his eyes were upon me, and knowing that is where I wanted them to be. 

Reaching to unlock the door, I feel Anthony's hand lay upon mine. As he says, here let me help, your hands seem to be shaking. The intensity of the heat of his hand on mine, sent chills along my spine. The goose bumps formed upon my arms, as I turned to him and smiled. The door to the classroom now opened. Entering at first morning, the air is a bit cool, since the night air, seems to take awhile in evaporating. Without noticing, the nipples of my breasts become erect, from the chilled air. As I stand next to my desk, turning to Anthony as he hands me the papers that he was so kind to carry for me. As I looked at him, I noticed his eyes feel upon my breasts, smiling to myself. As I gently take the papers from his strong warm hands, he looks at me shyly, almost blushing somewhat. I smile at him, putting him at ease. As I begin to leaf through the papers, finding Anthony's test. 

Pulling it out, I hand it to him. Looking at him as he glances at the grade D. With an embarrassed look, he looks at me, and shrugged his shoulders. The face that he made, had me thinking of long ago, when I had done something as a young girl, in which I knew was wrong, but for the sake of just doing it, then getting caught doing it. The, I know its wrong, but I couldn't help myself look. I had to smile at that. This grown 30 yr old man, looking like a child getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar shall we say. As I looked at him, his handsome face with its strong cheeks, and narrow chin. His radiant smile, and his gorgeous eyes, so deep and playful. Catching myself staring for what seemed to be minutes but in reality was only seconds, when he opened his lips to say, Ms. Lynn, do you have something you want to talk to me about? I assume it has something to do with this paper. I turn at this point, not wanting you to see my eyes, thinking if he saw the yearning within them, he would know what was on my mind. Placing my hands upon my desk, as I begin to speak. 

Anthony, I have noticed that your grades have been falling for quite some time. And, although I know that at times, peoples interests change. That doesn’t appear to be so in your case. When we have oral compositions, you always do the best in the class. As I turned toward you, I noticed your eyes, gazing at me. Anthony, I murmured out of my lips. Is it that your interests have changed from the subject. You smiled, and said, well Ms. Lynn you can kind of say that. Is it my teaching methods that has guided you to a change. Well not really was your reply. As I stood there, searching in your eyes for some explanation. You smiled at me, and said, Ms. Lynn, if you don't mind, I would rather not talk about it. Confused but understood, that whatever this was, whatever that was causing your diverted attention, I was hoping would work itself out. 

Looking at the clock that hung at the back of the class, and noticing that it was 5 minutes till the sounds of the other students coming into the class, I knew I would have to act quickly on the thoughts that had formed earlier. Anthony, I spoke, would you like some tutoring, are you having some difficulties with your studies? Then without, skipping a breath, I looked to you and asked, Anthony, I will see you this afternoon after class. You and I will begin a session. 

As the class began to roam into the doorway, the rustling of papers, and the sound of books being dropped down upon the tables. Class was to begin. Anthony as usual sat at the front table, closest to the window. Which to me was to my left. As I sat down behind my desk, to begin my teaching, I noticed, that where Anthony sat, he was the only one, within my class, that could see behind my desk. No one else had the vantage point of view as he had. As I instructed the class, as to their assignment, writing a short story, no less than 5000 words, on their lives. Figuring this would give me an insight into each of my students. And although I knew that this assignment, could become large, the benefits that I would gather, as well as my students, would surpass the effort. 

I watched as Anthony, began his writing. Being very delicate as he flip the pages of his notebook. As my head looked down upon my desk, my periphery vision still on Anthony, as I saw a slight movement. Not wanting him to know that I was watching him, I tilted my head slightly, I noticed him looking at me. Not looking at me as a student to a teacher, but with lustful intent within the depths of his eyes. My heart began to beat faster, as the excitement within my body grew at this thought. Slightly, I turned in my chair so that my legs moved somewhat to the side of me. Then as my gaze continued, I watched as his hand, slowly moved from the pen that he was holding, downward to under the table. His hand brushed against the crotch of his jeans. The definition of a bulge, pushed against the material. My heart leaped with excitement. 

Slowly his hand moved against the bulge, up and down, as a sound rustled in the class, and I saw his hand moves back on top the table. By now, my sexual energies within me were aroused, and I knew that I too would have to touch myself. I could feel the wetness building between my legs, the heat of my juices pressing against my thighs. As I looked up to the room, watching as all had their heads down writing their stories. I moved in my chair slightly so that my legs were to the side of me, facing the direction in which Anthony was. My hand reached down to my dress hem, as if I was fixing it, then without hesitation, gently I lift my dress upward, as to fix my stockings. Tilting my head downward some, as with a glance I watched as Anthony's eyes moved with the motion of my hands. Spreading my legs apart slightly, my panties revealed. My hand moves between my legs, as they part further, the crotch less panties beneath my dress now opening. As my finger gently touches the glistening of my juices against my wetness, feeling the tip of my finger, warmed by my nectar, my lips pucker in a coo sound. 

Realizing where I was as I fixed my stocking and pulled my hem back to my thigh. Knowing my finger, had my hot juices upon the tip. As I turned back around to the class, fixing myself forward, as I looked around. Not looking directly at Anthony as I did this. Then as my gaze, moved across the room, from one side to the other, I turned looking into those beautiful eyes that I dreamed of, at that moment, I then knew what it was I dreamt of, it was being with Anthony! Smiling as my eyes fixed on his, as my elbow bent, and my finger that was glistening from the wetness upon the tip, moved up to my lips. My tongue barely moving out from between my lips as my finger lay against it. He watched as I began to slowly taste my juices. Licking my lips as I watched his eyes, move back, his hand moving to the bulge. My nipples peering through my dress, as they hardened with anticipation. I see a smile cross his lips, as I smile back. 

Looking to the back of the class at the clock. Noticing that it was nearing time for the class to end. I thrill ran through my body. The excitement building as the seconds passed. Within a few minutes of class to end, and seeing that no one had completed their assignments, it was given for them to finish over the weekend. The class began to pick up their journals, and head toward the door. 

Anthony moved closer to my desk, my thoughts filled with his reluctance of earlier, I began to think that, maybe I had put more into this than there really was. Slowly as you moved past me, behind all the students, as the last one exited through the door, I see you smile as your hand reaches and closes the door, turning the lock as you do. My heart, pounding beneath my dress, as you walked closer to me. Smiling as I look at you and say... Anthony, I need you to sit at your table and do as I say. If you are to learn this subject, you must pay close, special attention to every detail. Without a word, you cross in front of me, as I glances at your jeans, the bulge, quite evident within. Your strut so confident, as you take your seat at your table. 

I stand up slowly, as I walk around my desk. My hips swaying back and forth, I look at you, and smile. I watch as your eyes move up and down my body. Stopping on the edge of my desk as my hands move behind me, and gently pull me up, so that I am sitting in front of you, only I on my desk, as you sit at your table. My confidence built up within me, as I look at you with seductive eyes, and ask, Anthony, did you happen to see me fixing my stocking during class? As you smiled at me, and say uh huh. And Anthony, did you see me, umm touch myself while I was fixing my stocking? Again, you smile and murmur uh huh. One more question Anthony, did you watch as I tasted, the juices that were on my fingertip? With that you smiled, a huge smile, and winked, saying yes ma'am! 

My body, burning inside, with that remark, as I look at you and say, well Anthony, for spying on the teacher, while you were suppose to be writing your story, well you must know there must be consequences to your actions. At that your smile lightened some, and your head tilted down. Looking at you, I said, Anthony, look at me when I am speaking to you. As your head lifted, you noticed something different with my posture. My legs were now, opened a bit, and you could see, just a hint of my white-laced panties beneath my dress. Your gaze, fixed upon the moisture between my legs. I watched you as your smile grew large again, as I whispered to you. Anthony, now this is your assignment. You must sit there, without touching yourself. You again say yes ma'am. Good, that is what I wanted to hear. 

My legs, spread partly open, exposing even more of my panties to you. My fingers, slowly glide along my jaw, down my neck. As your eyes watch me intently, my fingers move downward, over the neckline of my dress, to the center of my breasts...then slowly moving to one side, circling the roundness of my breast. I see the enjoyment fill your face, as your hand moves to the edge of the table. My fingers circling the erect nipple that is pushing through the soft material of my dress. Placing my fingers to each side of my nipple as I begin to roll it within my fingertips. My lips pucker in a slight cry of pleasure. Your fingers begin to move along the table, as my other hand reaches down to my hem, lifting the dress to my lower hip. My legs spreading apart with this move, as you watch my fingers move up my thigh. Reaching the lace panties, you notice that the panties, are crotch less, and you see the moisture between the opening. The pinkness of my love nest, pressing through. 

I smile, while your fingers, move along the edge of the table, knowing you want to rub yourself, but not letting you. My fingers reaching my glistening juices, as they spread my panties even wider. Exposing my full opening to your wondrous eyes. My finger begins to move along the opening as you see the wetness fills my fingertips. You lick your lips, inviting me to let you taste. As I smile at you, lifting my fingers to my lips as my tongue darts our, circling the tips of my fingers, tasting the sweet juices of my warm nectar, mmmmmmmmmm so good, and sweet. 

As you look at me with yearning, I smile and say, Yes Anthony, is there anything you would like to say? With pleading eyes, you ask me to please let you taste. I smile and say, that I will let you taste, in due time, but for now this was your punishment for not doing your assignment.

Slowly I jump off the desktop, and begin walking to you. Moving closer to the table, as I lean over it, my mouth, moving closer to you, as I continue my gaze in your eyes, my tongue darts out, sliding along your lips. The sweet tastes of my juices still on them. You smile and lick your lips. As I move back from you, and begin to walk around the table, to where you sit. Pushing your chair from the table as I move closer. I stand before you, my hands reach back, and I lift myself, to where I am sitting on the table right in front of you. Your hands against your thighs, straining to touch the bulge within your jeans. I look at you and shake my head, no no, not yet sweetie, not until I tell you. Lifting my legs to both sides of you, as I place my feet upon your knees..... You now have the complete view of my pink wetness before you. As I reach and take your hand, lifting it to my wetness, guiding your finger along the outer edge of my pink lips, you feel my warm nectar upon the tips, a moan of pleasure escapes my lips as I press your finger into the lips of my wetness, feeling your finger move inside me, the walls of my love cave collapse around it. I feel you pressing forward, as my eyes close, with the feel of your finger within me. The electricity coursing through my body. As I feel of the sexual energies within me building. I pull your hand back slightly, releasing the hold within me. 

Looking at the juices around your finger. You begin to pull your hand to your lips, as I stop you, then moving your hand to my mouth as I bend down my lips open, enclosing around the tip of your finger, I gently begin to suckle my juices on it. Pulling your finger deeper in mouth, as my tongue strokes your finger within. I feel you move, standing before me. As your body moves against mine. I feel the bulge against my wetness, as you pull closer to me. Your hand still in mine, as you press against my lips with your yearning mouth, wanting to taste these sweet juices. 

Pulling your finger from between my lips, and your mouth presses against mine. Our tongues begin to play within each others mouths, our breathes becoming as one. Taking in each others sexual essences within our breathes. Feeling your bulge pressing harder against my wetness, as it grows even more. My hand reaches down to your zipper as the bulge insists on pushing against it, making it difficult to unzip. With force as the zipper opens, I feel the pulsating against my warm soft palm. The huge thickness of your cock, the depth of its throbbing. My body responds to this gorgeous manhood. Looking into your eyes, and I say, now Anthony, you are not listening to me. You smile as I tell you to have a seat in your chair. With reluctance you abide by my wishes, as your hand reaches for your huge cock, I smile and move my head side to side, no no, still not yet sweetie. 

I then stand before you, then bending down, and taking the sides of your jeans into my hands, I pull them down over your hips, down your thighs, knees, calves ankles, till finally they are at your feet. My lips kiss your knee, as you feel my warm breath against your skin, slowly working my mouth upward over your inner thigh. I see the throbbing of your huge cock before my eyes, as the velvety feel of my warm wet tongue slides up your thigh. My warm breath against your balls, as my tongue darts out, teasingly brushing against your balls. Your cock jumps in surprise, as my mouth moves closer to it. My hot breath nearing it. I kneel straight up before you, looking in your eyes, as gently I remove my dress from my breasts, exposing to you the roundness, of them, the nipples pink and erect with excitement. 

Cupping my breasts within the warm palm of my hand as my body moves closer to yours. Directing the nipple to your huge hardness, as I teasingly stroke it across the shaft. I hear your moans of pleasure, which excites me, making me wetter, with each cry. Then cupping both my breasts around your pulsating cock, you feel the warmth of the soft skin surround you, I begin to stroke you up and down. I feel your hand move to touch the nipple, rolling them within your fingertips. I too coo in pleasure. As my breasts move up and down the long shaft, my head tilts down. Seeing the head peer through my breasts, I pucker my lips and blow upon it. Darting my tongue out as it reaches the tip. Stroking your huge cock, up and down with my warm soft breasts.... I feel the pulsating growing within you. 

Gently I release my hold from my breasts. My hands move down to your throbbing shaft, as with one hand my index and thumb entwine around it, pulling the skin down from the head. My other hand reaches downward to your balls, as I cup them within the warm palm. Gently caressing and massaging them as my mouth moves to the base of your shaft. You feel the heat of my mouth near your tender skin, as my tongue darts out, with its velvety feel, and strokes the shaft upward. Reaching the head of your huge cock, I look at you and smile. Seeing the ecstasy build within your eyes.



The Professor Ch. 3



My mouth opens above the head, as you feel the heat of my mouth near the tender skin. My tongue darts out, as I touch the tip, pressing against the opening. As my lips enclose upon the head of your throbbing cock, my hand continues to caress, and massage your balls, my fingers moving behind them back and forth from your balls, to your butt and back again, pressing slightly upward and forward as I do, teasing and tantalizing the g-spot with the movement of my fingers. My warm velvety tongue circling the head of your gorgeous cock, sucking it with each caress of my tongue. Slowly my mouth works down the shaft, taking you into my yearning mouth, inch by inch. 

Downward my mouth moves, as I feel your hand lay against my head, your hips rising, pushing your cock deeper into my mouth. I taste your pre-cum that has formed,… mmmmmm you taste sooo great. My mouth moves downward, with your hips pushing upward, feeling the pulsating of your thick cock deep within my throat, my lips reaching the base of your shaft, as they touch your balls. Taking all you have to offer so deep within my warm wet awaiting mouth, as my mouth begins to move up and down on your thick cock, feeling you sliding in and out of my throat. My grasp upon your balls, as my hand caresses them within it. My fingers, moving back and forth from your balls to your butt and back again. Your hips pushing upward, driving your hard cock deep into my warm, wet, yearning mouth. The heat of my mouth surrounding you, as you slide in and out of it. Your thrust becoming more rapid with each push, as my hands feel your balls tightening. 

Slowing down the pace, as my mouth moves over the head, my tongue sliding down the bottom edge of the shaft to your balls, my fingers entwine over your thick cock as you feel the softness of my hand around you, stroking you slowly, as my tongue slides along your balls, taking them into my mouth one by one. As I suck them, stroking your hardness with my hand. I feel your throbbing intensify. 

I slowly stand up, opening my legs to each side of you, as I sit upon your lap... You feel the wetness that has grown between my legs... so hot, so juicy, as I lift my hip up above you. My hand moves down to your stiff cock, pointing it upward as I place the tip of the head to my opening. Slowly my hip moves downward, as I feel the head of your pulsating member begin to enter me. I cry in pleasure as the walls of my hot juices enclose around the head, tightening around you, sucking you into me slowly as the wetness grips you. Inch by inch you push into me, opening me, as your thick cock stretches the walls of my wetness... deeper and deeper you push into me, as my hips lower upon you. Your hands upon my waist as you guide me, wiggling my hips so that your hardness can enter. 

Taking you into me, the heat of my juices surround you, deeper with the push of your hips to me, till you are completely in me. Filling me with such delight as I feel the throbbing of your hardness within me. My hips begin to sway back and forth on you, as you slide in and out of me. Our juices mingling together, as our sexual essences build within our bodies, and begin to emit such nectar upon and within each other. Your hands upon my waist lifting me, and pushing down on me. I feel my insides burning, as my sexual essences build. The pulsating of your huge thick hardness, throbbing inside me, the thrusts become more urgent, as your hips move up to mine. Driving harder, and deeper with each thrust, My hips swaying back and forth on you... moaning in such pleasure, whispering to you, baby, cum for me, cum deep inside me, let our juices mingle within me. Your thrust becoming harder, pushing deep, as my wetness grips you, surrounding you with the heat of my passions. Faster the pace, as your hips move up, mine moving downward on you. Feeling my sexual essences wanting to release upon you. As you slide in and out of me, stroking you with the wet wall of my love nest. 

Sucking you deep into me as I tighten around you, holding you inside me, as you push up to me, feeling you sliding in and out, driving harder with each push, the throbbing inside me from your huge cock pushing deep... As my cries of pleasure fill the air, ohhh God Anthony baby... and I feel all my energies being released on you, your thrust sooo deep, as you cry out in passion as well. My hands move to your balls as the warm palm encloses around your huge heavy balls, my fingers press back to the opening of your butt, as I press slightly into you as I feel your hot cum begin to hit within me, my finger pushes into your opening inward and upward as you push into me. Ohhh yesss baby I am cumming sooo hard all over your huge thick cock. My body feeling your hot cum hitting deep inside me as our hips sway back and forth, pushing harder to one another. Our lips pressed against one another’s as we kiss with such urgency, our climaxes exploding upon and within each other... Our panting so quickened as we catch our breaths. Sharing our juices between us, we are completely spent of all our essences.

Our arms entwined around one another as our kiss, continues... slowly, our mouths part, as I look at you and smile... whispering so Anthony, do you think that your interest has been lost in my class. You smile at me, and say.. Lynn, the reason my work has been falling is because my attention was diverted, not by your teaching, but by you. I wanted to hold you, as I watched you everyday. My longing for you is what made me not pay attention. Laughing to myself, as I thought, what a way to get my attention!