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The Past

By: Forerunner



I shouldn't have been there. I knew it as I got off the plane. I knew it as I picked up the keys to the car hire place and I knew it as clutched the last letter she ever sent me as I punched the address into the sat nav. And I sure as hell knew it as I stood, in the rain, with lightning sheeting across the sky, and knocked on her front door.

Officially I was in Boston on business. Officially I was attending a conference after which I was to travel to New York and spend a couple of days at our head office. As far as my wife, boss or anyone else knew that was the course of events. I had a hotel that I'd already booked into. I'd already spoken to my wife and heard my 9 month old daughter burble down the line at me. I'd showered, shaved, changed and phoned down to the front desk to hold my calls. Officially I was turning in early to be fresh for the conference. Officially.

Unofficially I was knocking on the door of someone I never thought I'd see again. By rights I shouldn't. By rights I shouldn't want to. But here I was all the same: stood in my best suit, with a long coat over the top, the rain pouring off the porch roof behind me whilst I stared at a beautiful wood door painted in a rich and vital red.

I'd rehearsed what I'd say to her during the entire flight. I could already make the assumption she'd not be pleased to see me. It would be what I said next that would determine if I got a door in the face, invited in or the Police called.

The door opened with the heavy click of an old door mechanism working. Gemma stood in the doorway, blonde hair drawn back and up, showing off a neckline that I'd kissed a dozen times, and emphasised her jaw line. My eyes were pulled down to the satin nightgown that stopped just below her backside. I felt a familiar feeling stir deep within me, something primal.

I honestly couldn't decipher her expression. A word hasn't been invented for the Technicolor emotions that worked across her beautiful, high cheeked features. She opened her mouth to say something but all that came out was a squeaked exclamation. I took my chance. The speech prepared and rehearsed earlier in my hotel room just vanished as I looked into those impossibly blue eyes.

'I missed you.' I said with a half smile.

I felt like the biggest prick on the face of the Earth. That was the best I could do? I miss you? Her features settled on something close to surprise before she realised she was stood in her door way, wearing a nightgown.

'Come in.' she said simply and stepped aside allowing me into the hallway of her home.

As I shook my coat from shoulders, water pooling around my feet, I took in my surroundings. The elegant wide hallway was simply decorated with a wide curving staircase leading up to the second floor. Large pillar candles stood clustered on each side of the banisters casting a warm flickering glow. Garlands hung from the ceiling, twinkling lights intertwined within. They'd decorated early for Christmas.

Gemma led me into the living room that was similarly decorated only dozens of lit candles framed a crackling fire. Sofas sat squat either side of the fire with a mango wood table in-between. On the table stood two full glasses of red wine. Gemma's plethora of expressions at the door was starting to make more sense.

'Am I interrupting something?' I asked weakly.

Gemma sat on the far sofa, her robe falling partially open revealing a black and red lace babydoll that framed her figure and told me everything I needed to know about the evening she had planned. I noticed the black stockings and red high heels for the first time. 

'You're supposed to be.' She sighed and took a sip of wine. 'William is working late. Again.' She drained the glass with practised skill. 'I thought you were him surprising me.'

'I'm sorry to disappoint.'

'Me too.' Gemma reached for the bottle and poured another glass. 'And just what the hell are you doing here anyway?' The anger she should have felt at the door was rising.

'I'm not entirely sure.' I said with a thin smile. 'I was just in town for business and I knew that I couldn't be in Boston without seeing you.'

'Terry, it's been five years.'

'I know.'

'Five.'

'I know.'

'You're married.'

'I know.'

'I'm married!'

'Believe me, I know that too.' I hadn't sat, I was still in the living room door way and I started pacing the room. It was my turn to feel angry. 'I remember getting the email. That's right, she did it by email ladies and germs.' I stopped by the fire place letting the flames dry out my soaked suit trousers. 'You came back to Boston to see your mother and you ended up marrying some guy you met in a fucking bar on a night out with your sister. At Christmas.'

'So what?' Gemma got to her feet and shoved me accusingly. 'You want an apology? Is that it?'

She stared up at me, blue eyes full of pain, outrage and regret. She knew what she'd done had been wrong. Not so much her actions, I know what it's like to fall in love with someone whilst still being in love with someone else. It was how she handled it. Tried to turn me into the villain because of the hurt and betrayal I felt. Granted, I didn't make it easy either but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I looked down in to her hers, at her face framed by loose strands of her golden hair, at the full lips painted a pastel rouge. I gently placed my hands on her shoulders, feeling her warmth through the silky fabric.

'I'm here because I missed you. Because it's been five years and I never wished you a happy life or even said goodbye. Because it's been five years and I wanted you to know who the man you knew had become. But more than anything I just wanted to see you, one last time.'

She frowned. I use to hate it when she frowned. Then tears started to fill her eyes. I use to hate that more. I don't know why I did it, but for the life of me; it seemed like the right thing to do. I kissed her.

There was a flicker of resistance. A moment when she tried to pull away but then Gemma melted into my embrace and kissed back. We kissed like we'd never been apart. We kissed like we were making up after a fight. We kissed like we knew it would be the very last time we would ever kiss each other again.

As our mouths opened and I felt the tip of her tongue press against mine it came with a surge of desire. My hands slipped between the folds of her robe planting them around her petite waist, feeling the lace against her soft skin. I moved my hands up parting the robe, her arms going limp and it sliping off her body as my hands reached her breasts trapped and trembling within the lace and silken confines of the babydoll.

I cupped them firmly and moved my thumbs over her nipples eliciting a whimper from her quivering lips. I worked them harder as she pulled my jacket off and started to go to work on my shirt. My shirt came away in a shower of buttons, Gemma's fingers probing the contours of my chest. It was in better shape than last she saw me and I was pleased by the eagerness with which she moved.

As Gemma struggled with my belt - she could never do belts - I moved my right hand down her beautiful, petite, feminine frame until I felt the damp smoothness of her panties. Gemma broke the kiss and gasped, my hand hovering millimetres from her swelling pussy. I searched her features for some sign that she wanted me to stop. If there was one I couldn't discern it and I kissed her again, sliding my fingers between her legs and started to massage her pussy through her panties.

Already damp they were sodden in moments, my fingers' physical memory quickly finding her swelling clit and working it just the way I knew she liked. Her knees buckled at the familiar touch and she whimpered as I held her in place.

I continued to work her pussy making her gasp and groan until she finally worked my belt free and undid my trousers. The belt buckle clattered to the hard wood floor as she reached out looking for my shorts to yank down and instead she found lace. 

Gemma pulled away surprised. I was stood before her with my rod hard cock straining against a pair of black French knickers. She looked at me and smiled.

'For me?' She cooed.

'Kinda. I remembered how you always liked me to wear them.'

She leaned in and started to rub my cock through the fabric. 'Feeling lucky were we.' She smiled.

'Trying to remember what it was like to be with you.' I said as she pulled my cock free and dropped to her knees.

She slowly licked the head of my throbbing cock before gently blowing on it sending a wave of tingling pleasure through me. She looked up at me, her mouth open, the tip just inside her mouth, her teeth hovering a hairs breadth away. She smiled around my cock before taking it fully into her mouth.

My mind exploded as her mouth worked up and down, her hand chasing it as she worked my shaft. Her tongue danced around my cock before pushing it as deep as she could, the head colliding with the back of her throat. That was a new trick...

I pulled her head up, kissing her, pushing my tongue into her mouth and tasting my precum on her, causing my hand to spear downwards and rip Gemma's panties from her in a single motion. My fingers were already pushing into her hot wet pussy before she even had time to register the violence with which she'd been exposed.

As I pushed a third finger into her she started to massage her breasts, pulling them free of her garment and offering them to me. I immediately took the right nipple in my mouth, biting, licking, sucking causing her head to flop back and a moan of pleasure to escape her lips. She reached down trying to work my cock some more, but I wouldn't allow her, instead I pushed her to the sofa and spread her legs wide.

Her glistening pussy was exactly as I remembered it. Exactly as I'd dreamt of and imagined a hundred times in the last five years. She stared down at me over the mounds of her perfect breasts, hair tousled and out of place, her hands reaching, running through my own. I smiled at her. Then, as I pushed two fingers back into her welcoming pussy the tip of my tongue found her clit.

My tongue worked furiously as Gemma squirmed beneath my touch, her wetness filling my mouth and running down my hand. She whimpered and gasped as I pushed my tongue harder and harder against her swelling clit. She started to work her pussy up and down, her breathing becoming faster and faster. I worked my tongue in time. I pulled my fingers free in a squirt of wetness and clamped both hands on her firm pale buttocks, pulling her pussy flush against my face. I knew the signs.

Gemma came in a cry of release, her body trembling as I continued to work her clit, overloading her mind making her cry out. I refused to let go, pushing her into a second orgasm that caused her to squirt down my face and chest. Only when her body was trembling and she begged me did I stop.

With shaking hands he pulled me to her licking her wet from my lips and chin before kissing me deep.

I felt her hand around my cock, her fingers smearing my precum over its head before I felt her move it to the opening of her engorged pussy.

I'll admit: I hesitated. Just for a moment. Then I was in her and it was as if returning home after years of being away. It felt familiar but different. I felt Gemma's legs wrap around me, the heels of her shoes spiking my buttocks urging me on. Her finger nails raked my back and she pulled me ever deeper. She didn't want sex. She wanted to be fucked. Fucked hard and fast and frantic. She wanted me to fill her up and throw her away. And that's exactly what I did. Forehead to forehead I stared into her blue eyes as I fucked her. I fucked her hard. Harder than I'd ever fucked any woman in my life. Every thrust caused a slap of skin, made her body shake and made her whimper.

'Cum in me.' She whispered between gasping breaths. Sweat beaded both our brows. 'I want to feel it just like I use to.' She smiled and I felt my heart leap. I felt something that had merely smouldered at the beginning of his evening burn anew. 'Please.' She begged.

It was the last straw. With a cry of overwhelming sensation I exploded deep inside her pussy.

'I can feel it.' She moaned as I continued to pump my seed into her. She kissed me as my orgasm surged through me. When we broke away she looked at me the way she used to when she'd thought of something bad to do. 'I want to taste it.'

I smiled at her. It wouldn't be the first time. I slowly pulled out of her and lowered my lips to Gemma's wet and gaping pussy and started to suck. It didn't take long for my mouth to be flooded with my cum. I kissed Gemma hard, pushing my tongue into her mouth taking my cum with it. She made a yummy noise in her throat as the cum mixed in our mouths.

She pulled away liking her lips before swallowing.

'I missed you too.' She said gasping.

Someone behind us cleared their throat. I span round to see a man stood in the door way, coat in one hand, flowers in the other.

'You must be Terry.' He said.

The Past



"Oooh! Uncle Mark! We've got to go to the ferris wheel, and then the bumper cars, and then I want a chocolate banana!"

"Don't they sell regular bananas?"

"But I wanna-"

"You'll just get hyperactive, and then you'll get giddy, and then you'll get tired, and then we'll have to go home early."

"But, but..."

"No buts. Now are you having fun, dear?"

"Well, yeah..."

"Then just enjoy yourself. Sometimes its best to just live in the present than fuss about the details. If you're having fun, and there's no reason why you shouldn't be having fun, just have fun. That's a bit of wisdom from your Uncle there."

"Pfft."

"Come on! There's still more of the fair to see."

Its a hot July day and the Northville County fair is in full swing. I, Mark Shapiro, am babysitting my excitable, impatient, and frequently smelly but otherwise adorable niece as my sister and brother are on vacation.

"Oh my god! Is that a gorilla?"

"What?"

"Look! Over there!"

Grabbing me by the hand, my niece dragged me through the throng to a small stage past the equestrian stalls. A tall, torrid looking brunette in a circus ringmaster costume was directing a rather large ape around to do tricks. Despite its shambolic gait it completed its tasks with suprising agility, and the assembled crowd grew. My niece tugged my sleeve and I lifted her up on my shoulders to get a good view.

Incredibly, once the tricks were done, the large ape gave a curtsy in sync with the ringmaster.

"Wow, they really trained him well."

"Uncle Mark! We've got to get his autograph!"

"We? And an autograph from an ape?"

"Come on! Pweez?"

A sigh. I relented. If I gave her another "no" here, I might suffer "no" inflation and she'll get pouty the rest of the afternoon. Besides I was a bit curious how they transported an ape all the way over to Northville, and asking for an "autograph" meant I could at least get a closer look at the rather attractive looking ringmaster.

We headed behind the stage, smiling at the fair staff. I've always noticed that if you smile and walk briskly like you know what you're doing, nowhere is off limits. A couple dozen meters in deep backstage I started to hear a familiar Texas accent. I followed it round a corner only to find, well, what I guess was the ringmaster.

At least, from the neck down. The ringmaster's pale, shapely form stood in great contrast to very tan, very cute face that now stood on top of it. What looked to be the face of the ringmaster on stage flopped in front of her chest, brown hair and all. She gave me a horrified stare.

"Your... face..?"

"What are you doing back here? Who are you?"

"Oh err, we really enjoyed the show, and my niece, she wanted an autograph..."

"Fans aren't allowed back here!"

Suddenly a hand tugged at my wrist.

"Uncle! Look! Its the gorilla!"

I gave the ringmaster a shrug, and she rolled her eyes as I went off to catch my niece. True enough, I spied the ape looking curiously at us a few meters away. A towel was hanging from its neck as it stood bent over, resting on its knuckles.

It looked friendly enough, but I realized I really shouldn't let a little girl that close to a several hundred pound gorilla. With dawning comprehension I dashed after her.

"Wow! A real ape!"

"Look, dear, don't come too close-"

"Mark...?"

Someone called out my name as I grabbed my niece back. I swung round to see the tutting face of the woman playing the ringmaster- but how would she know my name?

"Is it really you?"

It was definitely coming from.. the ape? Its realistic, I assume rubber face remained impassive as a familiar, feminine voice emanated from the mask.

"Uh?"

"Its... been a long time."

"Hollie? Is that you in there?"

"Hah, afraid so..."

Hollie Malone was, argh. A bad memory. How to put it succinctly- Mark Shapiro was not popular in high school. Mark Shapiro did not have a great time, in high school. Mark Shapiro had a massive crush on Hollie Malone all four years. To his surprise she said yes to his asking her out for prom. Only to show up in the arms of that smug fuck Julian, or Julien or whatever the fuck his name was.

Oh the laughing. That cackling laughter of all her girlfriends as they pointed. I ran out, didn't even bother going to grad night.

But hey, social contract! It had been, what, 7 years now? I was over it. Totally. After college I took over my dad's import/export business. I was a stable, respected member of Northville society, out here babysitting my niece, not going to... show my... rage...

"Oh hey. Hollie. Its ah, been a while."

"You got that right..."

"Wow... is that really a costume?"

"Yeah! Its animatronic, look!"

The mask suddenly made a range of exaggerated expressions, contorting into the archetypical faces of anger, happiness, and... sadness. I might have genuinely found this interesting if nearly all of my willpower wasn't focused on looking nonplussed at encountering someone I never, ever wanted to see again.

"That's really... cool. Come on Nicki, we've met the ape."

"Wow, I didn't know gorillas could talk! And you're a girl gorilla!"

"Its just a woman in a costume, dear."

I pulled her closer as we began to leave the backstage area. We had nearly got to the entrance when I heard my name shouted again.

"Mark wait!"

It was Hollie, still dressed completely as the ape.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"That's nice."

"No really, I-"

"It was a long time ago, I'm over it, really."

"But I'm not."

"What?"

"I never got an opportunity to apologize."

"Alright, I accept your apology."

"No, I mean properly. What I did to you was-"

"Horrible, but that's the past now and-"

"Look, can I... show you something?"

The "gorilla" took one of its nailed fingers and pressed down on its nipple, which apparently was a button, opening up a panel in its chest. From there, it removed a comparatively dainty phone.

"If we're going to have a conversation, why don't you remove the costume, and we'll talk like people?"

"I can't, I'm stuck in here all day, and the next show's going to start soon... here, what's your number?"

"Hollie..."

"Please?"

I rolled my eyes and gave her my number.

"Here, I've texted you an address. Could you meet me there, 8PM, on Saturday?"

"Is this some joke...?"

"This might be my last chance to get forgiveness from you, Mark. Please."

"You already have my-"

"I know you haven't forgiven me. Who would? What I did was terribly cruel. But... I've changed now. I promise. And I want to prove it to you."

With a sigh I took Nicki's arm and began to leave without a word to Hollie.

"Uncle Mark?"

"Yes?"

"Did you know that ape?"

———————————————————————————————————

237 Varian Street. I wasn't really going to go... was I? I mean believing in her intentions was how I got into that mess all those years ago.

But as I sat in my living room on Saturday I began to reconsider. What could she be planning? I thought it doubtful that she'd somehow get all of the people I hated from high school together to laugh at me another time.

And besides, if she did I wasn't afraid of them. I wasn't the shy, introverted kid I was in high school. I'd welcome an opportunity to confront them, shame them for their childish cruelty. I had too much going on in my life to worry about petty pranks.

But... was that the right thing to do? I prided myself on how much I had changed. How in control I was. I was callum, even keeled. The best revenge is living well. Accepting her apology and leaving was the right thing to do, and reflected the best on who I was now.

And... I didn't have anything better to do Saturday night.

———————————————————————————————————-

I parked my black sedan and walked towards 237 Varian. I had dressed in a nice jacket and slacks; not because I wanted to impress Hollie, but because if anything I was confronting my past. I wanted to look my best as I said goodbye to scrawny, skittish, geeky and sentimental Mark Shapiro of old.

To my surprise the address was a large stone building, somewhat dilapidated, all weathered masonry on the outside. Hollie came from money, which added to my surprise at seeing her working at a fair, but I still expected her to live in.. you know. A house. Or apartment. But that was making assumptions; did she even live here?

Gods, was this another fucking prank? I walked up to the door and found a gargoyle door knocker. I knocked twice, absolutely punctual, preparing my best look of utter contempt.

"Is it you Mark? Come in, its unlocked!"

I opened the door and walked into a cavernous looking building, dimly lit with electric candles but mostly illuminated with moonlight shining in from the glass ceiling. It looked like this building used to be some sort of arboretum, or church; it seemed rectangular in plan.

"It used to be the Chapel of Contemplation, before those scandals with the Universal Church. I bought it and fixed it up with my inheritance."

Hollie hove into view, almost completely covered up by a long rubber raincoat, somewhat like a mackintosh. In the moonlight she was just as beautiful as I remembered, red haired, dimpled smile... though her eyes were somewhat sadder than I had ever seen, a far cry from the cruel stare I remembered from prom night.

"I'm sorry to hear you parents died."

"Yeah... when my mother died I realized I lost all the real family I had. My dad didn't disown me but he only really loved my mom. Made me rethink a lot of things."

"Oh?"

"What I did to you... the most cruel thing I've ever done. There was no reason for it, I just felt like being horrible so I was. And I was horrible. You... considered me a friend, didn't you?"

I did. The pain of the humiliation blotted out anything prior to prom night, but I hadn't asked her out of the blue. We shared a number of art and language classes growing up. We did actually talk from time to time before she humiliated me.

"In a sense. That was a long time ago."

"I don't expect you to forgive me..."

"Well that's where you're wrong. I've changed. I'm not the Mark you knew. Whether or not you were looking for forgiveness I've decided to forgive you anyway. I've got too little time for grudges, and everyone deserves a second chance."

I even half meant it. I surged with pride as I took the moral high ground. I gave her a forced grin. But her sad eyes didn't shift.

"Not me. Not Hollie."

"What? Why not?"

"Sometimes... I wish she'd just go away forever."

Oh crap. This wasn't an apology. This was a cry for help.

"Wait, no, you haven't been thinking of-"

"Disappearing forever? Why not? Who'd miss me? All of my friends, "Julien" or whatever, they weren't my friends. I was a horrible bitch with money; its the only reason they ever hung out with me. Hollie might as well be dead."

"Don't do anything rash-"

She reached under her coat. I was getting ready to tackle her, worried that she maybe had a gun or a knife. I wasn't prepared for this but, who I was now, wasn't going to let her hurt herself.

"Hollie, no!"

I pushed her down on the hard stone floor, landing on her breasts. I pushed myself up, holding her arms down. For a moment, we just stared awkwardly at each other.

"Look, I admit I didn't find it easy to forgive you, but nothing is worth throwing your life away. There's lots of good people out there. You're a lovely young woman. Your life's hardly over."

"Mark..."

She motioned with her eyes for me to look down. Now that her coat was unbuttoned I noticed... something strange. Hollie had pale skin... yet her neck was... oddly tan. And... she was wearing a cheerleaders outfit?

"You're hurting me, Mark."

"Oh, sorry!"

I rolled off and helped her up. She tossed aside the raincoat with a flourish. From the neck down she was dressed in a Northville Panthers cheerleader outfit... except all the skin showing was a deep latte colour. She also seemed to have more defined muscles and larger breasts. After giving me a weak smile, she began walking towards what used to be the church podium.

"You messed up the reveal a bit but.."

"Wha?"

"After my dad died, I had a really bad self image. I mean, why wouldn't I? I hated myself and how callous and cruel I was to the few people who really cared about me, you and my mom included. I really did want to get rid of Hollie then. But after chickening out a couple times I found it easier to... wear a mask."

"What do you mean?"

"I've always liked... disguises. The more elaborate and all encompassing the better. They... excite me, and at the time being another person, or another creature, was... very appealing to me. I wanted to be anything but Hollie... even a slobbering beast."

"I don't understand..."

"I'm getting to it, Mark. You're the first person I've shown this place. Anyway, I took my inheiratance and bought this place, started fixing it up. I put my costumes here and started up a troupe of sorts. Its kinda kitschy but it pays the bills and I have a lot of fun, being someone, or something, else. You, sort of met Mandy, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"She's my roommate of sorts, but she's staying with her sister this weekend."

She reached underneath the lecturn and pulled out what looked to be the face of.. Ardwen? The leader of the Wood Elves in Saeheron Online?

I quickly realized as it flopped in her hand, staring at me with green eyes that it was a mask. Being an elf, Ardwen had knife shaped ears and an angular nose and high cheekbones. Her hair was cropped short and platinum blonde; elaborate twisting tattoos covered her face. All of this was reproduced perfectly on the mask.

"Mark... how about we start over?"

"Ardwen- I mean, Hollie, I haven't played Saeheron in ages..."

"Why, were you embarassed? I thought it was pretty nerdy too, but then I realized it was just like wearing a costume, but online... you become a different person."

"Look, Hollie..."

"I'll be Ardwen for you, Mark. I'll pull on this mask, and Hollie will be gone. I had a feeling you wanted to confront the past, and I respect that. But how about fixing it?"

"You can't fix what's already happened, Hollie."

"No, but you can have another memory, so strong that it made whatever came before irrelevant... You're a different person now Mark, strong and confident, nothing like how you used to be. You forgot we were friends once, all because of my cruel joke."

"I'm not sure I can do this with you Hollie..."

"You wouldn't be doing it with Hollie. You'd be doing it with Ardwen, head cheerleader at Northville High, who you've been friends with for years. You've been thinking about her like you did about Hollie, except Ardwen hadn't, and won't, fuck it up. Its two weeks before Prom. Its your chance."

She took the mask in hand and stretched it tightly over her own face, grunting as the rubber and silicone aligned. "Ardwen" looked a little off with the staring eyes, but... god she was beautiful. She gave me a cute smile and bounced over to one of the pews, patting the seat for me to sit with her.

Exasperated, I complied. She looked at me expectantly with fixed glass eyes.

"This is... really awkward."

"Asking a girl out for prom is always awkward. Now hold my hands."

Her voice was a bit muffled under the mask. I took her hand in mine. Was I really going to do this?

"Hollie, I mean Ardwen... I've been meaning to ask you a question..."

"What is it sweetie?"

"Would you... mindgoingouttopromwithme?"

Theatrically she clasped her hands in excitement and hugged me tightly. She whispered yes, in a voice that was considerably higher pitched than Hollie's, even muffled under the mask. I reluctantly put my arms around her as well.

Eventually she removed herself from our embrace and looked at me expectantly.

"Hmm?"

"Well?"

"Aren't you going to give me a kiss?"

"I don't know you, Ardwen-"

Hollie returned with a frown.

"Mark, you've been with Ardwen for years... she loves you. She'd have asked you out herself if that was the convention. Look, sometimes its best to just live in the present instead of worrying constantly about the details. If you're enjoying yourself, and I know you are, and there's no reason why you shouldn't..."

"That.. sounds familiar..."

"I remember your father would always give kitschy nuggets of wisdom like that... I've actually come to believe them..."

She smiled, and Ardwen returned.

"I love you Mark."

"Err, I love you too Ardwen."

Taking that as a yes, she pressed her rubber lips against mine as she fell over me, Hollie's hot wet tongue exploring my mouth.

"Mmmphf"

She took hold of my arm as she kissed me. Though Ardwen's glass eyes were open, I could see Hollie had closed hers underneath. She pulled my hand over to her breasts, and I obliged, my left hand moving over to her skirted ass.

Eventually we detached and "Ardwen" gave me a warm smile- but it was Hollie's voice that first spoke.

"Mark...?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you have any girlfriends in college?"

"Uhh, a few-"

"Liar."

"I did too! Denise and... Emily."

"Did you ever... make love to Denise or Emily?"

"I was, uh, more a wait till marriage kind of guy."

"Hmm... I have to admit, so is Ardwen... at least, in this form..."

"What do you mean?"

"You know how in the Battle of Errenwood, Ardwen changed into a wolf to sneak past the goblins?"

"Its been a really long time since I played Saeheron, Hollie."

"Well, anyway, lets just say... she can make use of that transformation for pleasure as well..."

My elven cheerleader girlfriend stepped off the pew and walked off to one of the alcoves of the converted church, where a Chinese silk dressing screen obscured a section of the room. Ardwen disappeared behind... and then a hand held up the rubber mask of her face. In Ardwen's girlish voice, the obscured figure shouted out.

"No peeking!"

I sat anxiously on the pews for what seemed like ten minutes before I heard a low growl emanate from behind the screen. Slowly a large grey wolf emerged, red eyes glaring at me as it drooled over the stone floor. It moved menacingly towards me, its sharp teeth bared.

A part of me suspected this was probably Hollie, but the realism of the suit made me nervous. I stood up and cautiously approached it.

"Good doggie...?"

"ggrrr"

"is that... you Ardwen?"

"RAWR"

Suddenly the "wolf" pounched on me, pinning me down with its heavy furred body, I shut my eyes as I braced for whatever came next. Yet, instead of my throat being torn out, I felt a slobbery tongue move up and down my face. Opening my eyes again, I saw the wolf panting merrily, before nuzzling my face with its nose. Briefly I could see Hollie's blue eyes beneath the wolf's lenses.

I stood up, and hatching an idea, picked up a candle from a candlestick holder and tossed it down the hall. Dutifully, the wolf bounded after it, grabbing it in its mouth for retrieval.

It was agile, but I could tell by its rather thick haunches and slightly wobbly gait that it wasn't quite a wolf. When it returned and deposited the candle at my feet I petted it tenderly.

"Good boy.. or.. good girl..?"

"Ruff!"

"Girl then. I see."

Its task complete, the she-wolf began to circle around me playfully, before walking in front of me and kneeling down, exhibiting its tail.

For a time, I just sort of stood there, confused, as the she wolf occaisonally looked at me before returning to position. Eventually I heard a familiar sigh emanate from inside the suit.

"Mark..."

"What?"

"Fuck me, Mark. Fuck me deep. Don't worry if you didn't bring a condom, its all rubber in there anyway..."

"I'm not really... into bestiality.."

"Its not, Mark. Its me, Hollie, underneath. You liked me, right?"

"Its my tits underneath this fur, its my face in this mask, its my pussy you'll be fucking. Come on Mark. I want you. I want you bad. Grrr...."




The Past



"Hollie..."

"I'll do anything you want... I'm your bitch, and you're my master... "

"I've never done BDSM-"

"You're not doing BDSM... you're just rewarding a loyal pet. Do you know what its like, Mark? Being in these hot suits all day? I love Mandy, I really do. But she doesn't understand. Sometimes I go to bed like this, you know that? I actually need her help to get out, but I trap myself till morning... How many nights has Doris the Gorilla used a vibrator because she didn't have anyone to satisfy either her, or horny Hollie underneath... please Mark. Let me make it up to you..."

I relented. I unbuckled my belt and dropped my pants and freed my member. The wolf looked on, slobbering anxiously with what I could only assume was a animatronic tongue. Eventually I stood to attention, and ordered my pet around. I lifted up her tail and entered her slowly at first. Soon she started moaning, first as wolf, but feminine moans revealed a bit of Hollie was leaking out as she came closer and closer to climax.

It was as I was pumping that I noticed that the "tail" wasn't connected to the rest of the suit... instead it fit into- I concoted a plan for later. Eventually I felt her tighten around my shaft, and I knew she was close to orgasm as the she wolf's legs began to buckle underneath the pleasure. Hollie yipped frantically, but I wasn't done yet.

I pulled out, grabbed the tail/anal-plug roughly out of Hollie, and rolled my wolf lover over on her back. Locking eyes with the woman underneath, I shoved the plug deep within her furred snatch as my left hand roughly massaged her tightly bound breasts underneath the wolf suit.

"rowll, ahhh"

"You like it baby? You like being my bitch?"

"Uff, yes, ahh, please master..."

"You like being bound up in there?"

"Oh yes, ahh, please, collar me and take me home with you, master, I'll be your bitch, I'll make it up to you..."

"How, she wolf? How will you make it up to me?"

"gah, its really tight, uf, I'll be whoever you want to be... I know Hollie doesn't deserve you, ahh, but.. Ardwen is nice... I'll be her for you..."

"I don't think so."

With added effort I increased the speed and force with which I shoved the plug inside her. Eventually she orgasmed violently for a second time, moaning and yipping as she alternated between she wolf and Hollie. When she finally grew still, I rolled her over and took her pointed face in my arms.

"I forgive you Hollie. And if you've really changed, you do deserve me. Or anyone you want."

For a second I could almost swear I saw the wolf smile, but to my surprise she pounced on me again, before turning around and carefully taking my still extended member in her long canid throat, sucking me off. After I had been satisfied, I searched around her neck before finding the zip, allowing me to free Hollie's sweaty face from her prison of faux fur and rubber.

"Hah, I can't believe it."

"What?"

"That all those years ago I turned down a man who would do that for me. Thank you."

"I can't deny that was weird but... I found it fun."

"Soo..."

"Hmm?"

"We've got the weekend, you know. How about you show me your place?"

"Sure, I'll help you out of there-"

"No! I mean, I've spent quite a lot of time on this ensemble... there's a collar over there, and a leash. It'll lock me in. No one will know I'm more than just your malamute or something, and... you have no idea how much that arouses me."

"I never said no to you in Mrs. Puchinello's art class, Hollie."

I stood up to pick up the red collar-

"Nuh uh! Mask back on please. I can't put it on with these paws."

"But you've just-"

"I was a bitch to you before, and I'm a bitch for you now. Maybe later you can hang out with Ardwen; she's sweet. But right now..."

I sighed and pulled the she wolf head over Hollie's smiling, sweaty face. Tonight, I'd made amends with an enemy, made a new friend, found a new lover and, even-

"Woof!"

Got a new pet.

© 2014 Dieter Schaumer All Rights Reserved



The Past Alive in the Present



I always appreciate feed back. Enjoy. 

*

As a young man, I always found some of my family member's behaviors to be rather curious. I always noticed these seemingly innocent comments and gestures. As I got older and more perceptive I started to really enjoy the attention from my aunts and cousins. I of course fantasized about girls my own age that were not in the family, but there was something about an older women, especially my aunt Danica that really got me going.

I had just started going to college. With a few women under my belt I felt a craving for something more. Unfortunately, girls my age seemed to lack any complexity and seemed rather boring to me. Besides, Vanilla has never been my favorite flavor. 

I was going to school to become a mechanical engineer so I had my hands full with my studies and didn't have much time to date. 

My aunt Danica lived near my dorm. We always had an open door policy which was why I would frequently drop by to escape the distractions of my student life. She treated me like a son and I always felt wanted. She would let me swim in her indoor pool and even cook me a great Italian dinner. Our conversations would frequently go on well into the night. We had a very special connection and I loved being in her company. 

Aunt Danica was a social worker who worked with victims of sexual abuse. She was also a very smart woman. Her husband, Ira, ran a large business and was almost always gone during the week. I would drop by and more often than not, it would just be her and I. She would show me how to cook and we would share a meal that felt like I was home again. 

I really admired my aunt. She had come from a very difficult childhood and upbringing. She never shared any details but I know that she somehow managed to get past all of that. The fact that she was kind and caring always struck me because I knew she was never treated that way growing up. If I were having difficulties she would always listen so intently. She would look into my eyes and I felt seen and comforted. Looking into her eyes was hypnotic. They were deep, beautiful, brown pools. I could only handle the intensity of her gaze for moments at a time. She seemed to enjoy that power over me in some strange way. 

Danica was a beautiful woman. She had olive skin and wavy black hair. She totally seemed not sexually interested towards her husband but at the same time gave me the impression that she was a bit of a freak in that region. I couldn't get away from this sense I had of a concealed darkness that she carried. I found it intriguing and captivating. She sort of had the same vibe as Charlize Theron; beauty with darkness. She loved to wear flowing cotton skirts and tank tops. I loved it when the sun would set and shine light through her skirts outlining her long lean legs. 

I felt very close to her and I think she felt the same way towards me. I was a very perceptive young man and I could really see her for who she really was. I believe this fact had allowed her to trust me. Trust was Danica's greatest treasure.

I had many fantasies about Danica. I would masturbate to the image of catching her in the shower or maybe even in the act of getting herself off. It was incredibly taboo to have these fantasies. I would cum so much that the spurts would almost hit my face. I couldn't imagine that she would have any real interest in me sexually although all of those comments she would make made me wonder sometimes. Perhaps she just wanted to help her nephew with his self-esteem.

I had just arrived at Aunt Danica's home after a long day in class but no one was home. I really wanted to go for a swim so I let myself in. I hadn't planned on swimming when I left my dorm so I didn't bother to bring swim trunks. Danica wasn't home at the moment, I figured I could sneak in a quick dip. I went into the pool room and took off all my clothes. I figured I could just jump right into the shower that was connected to the pool room if she came home at any time. 

As I swam in the pool the water felt exhilarating against my body. As I swam towards the shower I noticed her bikini hanging from the shower head. Suddenly thoughts started to swirl in my head. The bikini was small and black. I would guess the top was a nice perky B cup. The bottoms were hanging inside out and I could see the soft fabric that came in intimate contact with my aunt's pussy. My pulse was a bit elevated and I started to feel a little shaky at the thought of doing something a little bit naughty with that beautiful bikini. The water rushed over my naked body and felt exhilarating in the pool as I swam.

I got out of the pool and my dick was at already on its way to being fully hard. I walked over towards the shower and craned my neck to make sure no one had pulled up in the driveway. You see, the shower did not have a curtain unfortunately. It was like a tiled walk in closet. My pulse quickened as I turned on the hot water. I grabbed the top first to get a feel for how big my aunt's tits were. She always wore padded bras and it was hard to tell. One time I did see her in a t-shirt after she had just gotten up. Her nipples were hard and looked half an inch long. They were beautiful and pointed up ever so slightly. I think that is why she always wore those damn padded bras. 

I hung the top back up carefully to keep it in the same position. I grabbed the bottoms and inhaled deeply. I picked up the faintest scent of her and almost felt weak in the knees. What I was doing was completely wrong but that just added to the fun. I licked the cloth that had been such intimate with her pussy and tried to get a taste. My back was to the opening of the shower when I heard a gasp above the sound of the sizzling shower. I spun around with the bikini bottoms in my hand to my aunt Danica. She had a look on her face somewhere between horror, rage and nausea.

I was frozen in time. I quickly tried to think of a lie but I know she had seen me tasting her delicious pussy. I was fucked. She dropped what was in her hands and quickly left without saying a word. I looked down in shame and noticed that I had a giant hard-on to top it all off. 

"How in the hell was I going to get out of this one," I thought to myself as my mind started spinning.

I put on my pants and looked out of the side window in pool room that could just barely see into the kitchen. Danica was pacing around with a crazed look in her eyes. 

"What is she thinking? What have I done?" I panicked. 

I contemplated how my life in this family may be over. Without thinking I jogged into the house to finished getting dressed. I entered the office and went to shut the door. Just before it clicked, Danica grabbed the handle and ripped it open. She looked like she had seen a ghost and didn't seem to be in her right mind. I was frightened. Her skin was flushed and posture was ready for a fight. 

"Jake, you have crossed a line with me that can never be recovered," She said with a tremble in her voice. 

You could tell that she was overrun with conflicting emotions. 

"Is this how you wanted our relationship to be?" Her voice rang at almost at full volume. "Do you want to eat my pussy?" 

I stammered, "No, I was just not thinking."

"You got that right," Danica's voice wavered. 

Suddenly she put one leg up on a chair near the corner of the room. She pulled her dress up exposing her small black panties. She ripped her panties to the side exposing her soft black pubic hair.

I could just make out her deep red lips as I stood fixated in shock unable of any response. Danica then took her finger, looking right into my soul, and slid it deliberately in her lubricated folds. I stared transfixed on her finger. 

The slightest guttural sound escaped her lips, "ummm." Her awareness seemed to snap back to her rage, "Is this what you wanted, you sick little fuck!?" Danica's desperation for answers reached a crescendo.

She smeared her moistened finger diagonally across my mouth. At this point in time I didn't know what the hell was going on. I could smell her complicated and seasoned pussy. It smelled so good and I felt my erection start to rise slowly.

I watched her look down at her finger. It was still quite wet as if she had dipped it in aloe. I could see her rage growing. 

"You like that don't you? You want your auntie's pussy don't you?"

"No Aunt Danica, I just made a stupid impulsive decision. It doesn't have to be like this." 

She quickly responded, "Too late for that, you can't un-ring the bell." 

Danica appeared to begin to realize what she had done. It was now impossible for her to be able to explain away her behavior. Her face sank and her eyes hit the floor.

Suddenly, it was as if she left her body and lost all inhibition. She looked down and noticed my raging hard-on now just cresting the top of my jean's waist band. I was so aroused that pre-cum had formed a trail down the head of my dick disappearing into my shorts. She walked over to me, took out my dick and smeared the pre-cum off and looked at it. 

"I want you to see how violated I felt when I caught you." Danica's tone became sadistic.

She gently sucked my cum off of her finger. I was almost dizzy watching her. I couldn't believe my eyes what she was doing. 

"Mmmm, Aunty loves your cum," she said with a sadistic look in her eyes. "Isn't that what your twisted mind wants me to say?"

I was frozen at this point in time with my mouth wide open. More cum was oozing from the head of my pulsing cock. 

She wiped up another finger full and said, "Your turn, you little deviant." 

She proceeded to push me down onto the couch forcing my mouth open. She was kneeling over me and let my salty seed drip into my mouth and on to my lips. Like a crazy animal, she kissed me, licking all of the remaining cum off of my still agape mouth. 

Danica gasped with pleasure, "Now you are going to make up for turning me into a whore." 

She took my cock fully out of my jeans and started pumping more pre-cum from my engorged member. She got some more on her finger and wiped it on my lips kissing me at the same time. Her body is was shaking and I was on the edge of cumming from such intense stimulation. 

"Now you are going to jerk off for me while I watch," she says, her eyes now glowing with anticipation.

Her face was flushed and her breathing was shallow and heavy. She was radiant in her heightened state and I was in awe. I grabbed my cock and started to stroke it, looking at her.

She gazed deep into my eyes and whispered, "Look at what you have made your aunty do."

I was on the edge of cumming as she slid her panties down her hips and lean legs. I stared at her panties dumbfounded. They were soaked and the little white patch of cloth that came into contact with her pussy was translucent from her sweet juices. Danica lifted up her leg and placed her foot next to me on the couch. 

"I want you to smell my pussy so you will never forget how naughty you have made your aunty." 

At that precise moment I began to cum with such force that it shot against her inner thigh and ran down towards her knee. She gasped and used her moist panties to sop up my cum. 

"It looks like you made a real mess of things," she chided. "Now you are going to clean it up."

Her panties were completely saturated. She again pushed me back into the couch and squeezed her panties until a drop of cum formed on the lowest point. 

With a forceful voice she demanded, "Lick it up!"

Her eyes widened as the drop fell into my mouth. She then opened up her panties and told me to suck the cum out of that delicious patch of cloth she had seasoned for me. I quickly sucked them clean.

"You like that?" she asked. "You are making your aunty very wet right now. Now you are going to finish cleaning up this mess you made."

She put her sweet pussy to my face for me to pleasure. Her pussy lips were puffy and red. I could smell her sweat and see her clit just cresting her outer lips. She pushed my face into her pussy and I started licking up all of her salty and tangy pussy juice. 

"That's a good boy, ohh, ohh, you are going to make your aunty cum if you keep that up. You had better not make your aunty cum, your job is to clean, not make me cum," her pitch frenzied. "You sick little fucker, you want to make your aunty cum don't you?" She said between her gasps. 

She was on the edge of cummimg and her clit had grown sticking straight out almost a half of an inch. 

Danica looked down at me and said, "You want to suck your auntie's little dick don't you."

"Yes...,"I whispered, in full ecstasy from her delicious pussy on my tongue. 

I danced my tongue all the way down her pussy to her tight little asshole. My tongue probed her sweaty ass hole and made its way back up to her clit. She moaned, and gave little gasps. 

"You dirty boy! How could you do this to me?" 

I began to suck on her clit as she came. She grabbed my face and shoved it hard into her soft and inflamed pussy. I felt her hot pussy pulsate against my chin. Her climax continued as she closed her eyes in a state of rapture. Danica shivered and moaned softly. She pulled my head back. I could see her clit throbbing. 

Tears began to well up in Danica's eyes. She then quickly gathered herself up and ran out of the room without another word. I sat there in shock wondering what my future would hold after today's departure... 



The Past Can Be Dangerous



I was like any other usual day. I was sitting at my desk totally immersed in a computer task when the phone rang loudly. 

"Hello," I answered quickly and dazed. The phone seemed to be still ringing in my ears. I rarely received calls during the day so it was a complete surprise for someone to call. 

"Hello, how are you?" Barb's familiar soft-spoken voice asked. Her voice calmed me a bit but the ringing was still echoing in my brain. I relaxed a bit more and replied. 

"You scared me half to death."

"I'm sorry," she said speaking in a quieter voice.

"I'm ok now," I reassured her

"Guess what?"

"I'm in suspense, so tell me." I replied in a joking tone but still a bit tense. 

"I bought a house. I hope to move in soon."

"Hey that's great, so you won the lottery?"

"Close enough. I got my divorce settlement I feel rich and free again."

"Wow, so what are you going to do with the money you got?" I grinned as I looked out the window and noticed an attractive blonde postal delivery lady walk by the open window who hesitated for a moment waved a hello, smiled and she continued on her way to my mailbox outside. Waving back with the phone on my ear I continued listening to Barb.

"$55,000 feels like a lot for me, " Barb replied.

"I am glad for you," I replied with a happy tone. 

"I wanted to ask you. Would you be willing to help me move in to my new place? I'll treat you to a dinner and a movie."

"Hey, dinner sounds nice and a movie sounds like a great idea. It will give us a chance to catch up on things. Just don't expect me to be easy since you have become rich."

"What if I throw in some popcorn?"

"Ok, you got me," I replied jokingly.

"Hey that's great. It will probably take all day since it's just the two of us. I have quite a few things to move. Furniture and some large items I just can't do on my own. You can always stay over at my new place if you like." This could be interesting, I thought. I hadn't heard from Barb in months and now she calls me up from out of the blue having not heard from her in months and asks me to help her out, the hook a free dinner. It had always worked on me in the past and now it seemed was no different. I could never say no to her requests and I think even she kind of knew that. Since we had met we have always had a good casual friendship but not a close one. Over the many years we had been friends I always had a crush on her and I think she knew that. I felt, if she wanted me to be closer she knew I could easily fall in love with her. She always had other men in her life but they had come and gone. Something in the back of my mind was wondering if she wanted to change our loose relationship. It must have been 6 months since I had heard from her. Maybe she just wanted to rekindle our loose friendship. That would be nice I thought. 

We were two different personalities. Barb had always been a good friend but I sort of disliked her over confident attitude. I had always been less than open in my feelings towards her in fear that she would not return them as I sort of had a fear of rejection, especially from her. My feelings for her were deep and strong as Barb was very attractive, very confident of herself and self-assured and I was not. I always had fantasies about her but I wasn't sure if she would ever consider me as an intimate partner, as I always tended to be too shy and reserved for her but there was a side of me that could change, if given the right persuasions. 

I had known Barb about fifteen years and even today with the both of us in our late thirties she would continue to show her casual but flirtatious side of herself. There were also other times she could show herself to be very self-confident and a sexy looking businesswoman but even other times that she could be a quiet and vulnerable. She would always display her feelings openly whenever we were alone together at her place. 

Barb was very beautiful and attractive. She had a slender body with perky breasts and a nice cute ass. There were times that Barb would display her casual home lifestyle and be dressed in a dressing gown that would barely cover her. She would usually wait for me to arrive before getting ready to go out for an evening of dancing or a casual dinner. I would usually patiently wait and read something as she had a shower and got dressed before we went out. Barb would sometimes make it known to me that it was not a date but just a friendly get together. Was this for my sake or hers? I was never sure why. She knew and saw herself as sexy, today on the phone was no different it seemed. 

I arrived the next day at Barb's place at 8:30am as planned. A rented van was parked outside the front door with a plank resting from the van to the front door. I greeted her and walked throughout the house with her so she could show me what we had to do. Once a plan was made it was time to work. During the moving process throughout the day on several occasions Barb's would brush by me in very close quarters with either her breasts or ass in order to move around furniture or desks. Each time she looked at me smiling. I felt these occasions were deliberate. Of course I didn't mind. If she was trying to make an impression on me it was working. 

After spending four long hours moving furniture, tables and chairs and boxes into the van we finally got underway and headed for her new place up-Island. We cleaned, painted unpacked, and moved her things into a beautiful new blue green trimmed single story house. Things seemed to be winding down and then Barb announced she was going to take a bath in her new bathtub. 

"Let's take a break. I need to soak in a hot tub and relax. My arms and neck are killing me. Can we order a pizza and stay in and eat? There are some beers in the fridge," she said as she disappeared into the bathroom. I was tired as well and wanted to go home, but I thought she might be offended if I left early. Hunting in the kitchen I found a phone under a pile of papers, ordered dinner and found a chair in the living room sat down and began watching TV. 

I reminisced over the day's events and thought about Barb's temptations and wondered what our sleeping arrangements might be. There was only one bedroom and the other rooms were stuffed with boxes. Home was a four-hour drive and I didn't have the energy for that. There was only one bed and a small two-person couch in front of the TV that would definitely be uncomfortable to sleep on. A plan rolled in my mind that we might watch TV together and after endure the long drive home. Sometimes, when we were alone at her old place, when she would take a shower she would sometimes leave the bathroom door ajar. I was convinced she did that to place the suggestion for me that she was available and naked behind that slightly open door. I then noticed that once again the bathroom door was of course ajar however, a little more open than usual. I could hear her moving about inside the bathtub. The water was splashing about rather loudly inside and I thought she maybe having difficulty getting used to the larger self-standing tub that came with the house. It was different from the smaller more modern ones these days. 

Just then the doorbell rang. The pizza! Great I was starving. I opened the door, greeted the pizza boy and handed him twenty dollars which included a generous tip. 

"Hey, thanks buddy! Have a nice night, ok," the delivery boy replied as he turned and headed down the stairs to the street.

"Your welcome," I generously replied.

Closing the door and with the hot pizza in hand I called to Barb, 

"Pizza's here. Should I put it in the oven to keep warm 'til your ready."

"Ok, sure, I be out in a few minutes," Barb voice echoed a reply.

Walking into the kitchen I placed the two cardboard boxes it into the oven and turned it on low. Returning back to the living room I sat down again and began to watch the TV program that was on. A few moments later I began to hear moaning coming from the bathroom loud enough to concern me that maybe she had slipped or hurt herself. I got up, moved closer to the door and peeked inside. Her eyes were closed her head lay back and the water splashed about in the tub. Barb's wet shoulders glistened by the bare frosted bulb above her. Her head rested against the back of the bathtub tilted looking towards the door from where I was looking in from. I could imagine her supple breasts just under the water line and her hand down between her legs. I was becoming quite aroused and unknowingly brushed the door causing it to creak slightly. Barb's eyes opened slowly and seemed not at all startled to see me standing at the door looking in on her. I was caught and frozen not knowing what to do or say. 

"I've been waiting for you," her soft voice said. Still in shock at being caught I looked down and away from her. 

"I've been hoping you would come and peek in on me." 

"What, Really?" I replied sheepishly.

"My shoulders still feel stiff. Would you massage them for me," she asked in such a cool, calm sultry voice? Amazed at seeing her beautiful slender naked shoulders, I graciously responded. 

"Well, Ok. If you like." I entered the bathroom, walked towards the tub and crouched down on my knees at the back of the bathtub. Barb's long dark seductively beautiful hair flowed like a gentle waterfall over the backside of the tub. As my nervous, gentle hands began to massage her shoulders and neck she moaned, exhaled and completely relaxed under my hands. She was in utmost pleasure. I beheld her beautiful wet slender bare shoulders and lovely dark hair in front of me. As I glanced down I beheld her large wet breasts and submerged hair-trimmed pussy under the water line that made my cock grow hard. Her skin was warm, wet and supple. I continued massaging her neck and shoulders for a few minutes and then she then she opened her eyes and asked me.

"Would you get into the tub with me?" For a second I thought she was joking and then she turned right around faced me and gazed into my eyes. I felt as if she could see right through me. I looked down and away briefly, her incredible beauty and confidence made me feel unworthy of her. 

"Look at me," she said. I looked back into her fiery green eyes, luscious lips, gorgeous face and incredibly beautiful body and smiled. "Stand up and turn around," her stern voice commanded. For a moment I thought she was going to ask me to leave. I hesitated and waited for her to direct me. I felt her arms wrap around my waist and her fingers undid my belt and unzipped my pants. They fell to the floor with a thud. She then turned me around and looked up at me. 

"What are you?" I asked being cut off in mid sentence.

"Just do what I tell you to do, please," her stern, coy voice ordered. I stepped out from my pants and slid them aside. Her fingers began unbuttoning and removing my shirt. Not a word was said. Our eyes were fixed on each other as she disrobed me. My mind was racing with a wild idea of us making love in the bathtub. Why me I thought, why now? Excited but nervous I let her do what she wanted. She tossed my shirt aside to the floor. Then her fingers slide underneath the elastic band of my underwear and shivers ran up and down my spine with excitement. Gravity then took over and they fell to the floor exposing my manhood to her.

"Oh my! It looks so big and wonderful," she exclaimed. "Get in the tub, we're going to have some fun together." Her eyes gleamed in excitement. I stepped into the tub behind her and sat down. My legs wrapped around her cute little ass and paralleled her legs in the tub. Her body was as lean and trim as I imagined it to be and I began to massage her neck and shoulders again. 

"I hope that's not the only reason you got in here?" She said sternly.

"I thought you wanted me to massage your shoulders?"

She took my hands pulled them around her waist and raised them to her breasts. 

"Have you ever wanted to play with some of these?" 

"Oh yes." I whispered seductively into her ear. 

Slowly and erotically I massaged her breasts and began kissing her neck. Exhaling she relaxed and laid her head back and pushed me back to lie in the tub. The hot bath water relaxed all my tense muscles except one, which was increasing in size and stiffness. My cock slid between her ass cheeks as she continued pushing herself back into the tub until she lay completely on top of me. My penis popped up from between her legs, which relieved the pain and pressure of her on top of it. As her head lay back on my shoulder, she pursed her lips and kissed my ear and whispered to me. 

"I love you. I always have you know." I looked into her beautiful green, seductive eyes and in that moment I wished it would last forever. I now knew what she really wanted from me all those years ago. My soul was melting and it wanted to boil with hers. I wanted her so much. Our lips touched and we kissed softly and passionately. We kissed for what felt like a blissful eternity. Each one lasted longer, harder and deeper. With each increasing moment our passions grew stronger for each other and was building to what would become such a most wonderful climax that only we could experience. I wanted each kiss to last forever. She whispered the words that filled my heart with life. The words I had always wanted to hear from her all of my life. 

"I've wanted to make love to you for so long." 

As we kissed my hand slid slowly down her small tight belly and down to her waist searching for her womanhood to pleasure her. I felt a small patch hair and started fingering her clit and slowly penetrated her vagina with my finger. She moaned in delight as her head rested on my shoulder, her eyes opened and looked into mine. 

"You're making me feel incredible, but I want to show you how much I truly love you. " She sat up, slid off and turned around and faced me. Pulling me up into a siting position she made room for herself to lie on her front. She then took my cock in her hands and began stroking it tortuously slowly. Looking up to me she seductively licked her lips, opened her mouth and slid her mouth completely over my cock. I never have had a woman do this to me before. I closed my eyes, relaxed my head over the back of the tub and completely relaxed as she did her magic on me. I was totally engulfed within the experience. Her lips moved slowly up and down on my shaft and her tongue cooled my burning red-hot tip. All my senses were on fire. I was totally and literally engulfed in the most wonderful feeling I had ever had. The hot water, her swirling tongue around the tip made my entire body tremble. I opened my eyes, looked down and saw her staring back up at me with her beautiful piercing green eyes. She continued sucking, her head bobbed up and down on my rock hard and raging hot cock. Her nipples rubbed against my legs as her head moved up-and-down in rhythm. As she quickened the pace faster and faster my cock felt like piston pumping in and out of her mouth. My insides were ready to explode like a steam engine on overdrive. 

"Stop or I'll cum inside your mouth." 

Between each gulp and breath she responded, "I want... to... taste you..." 

I looked up at the ceiling in utmost amazement and closed me eyes. I couldn't believe it. Was this a dream or for real? It was hard for me to believe I was with her in the tub, like this. The woman of my fantasies was giving me the most incredible blow job of my life. She continued faster and faster, the pressure within ready to burst. 

I squirmed underneath her expert hands and cat like raspy tongue on the tip of my cock. The most tremendous orgasm ripped my insides apart. 

"Oh, Barb...Oh..."

Like a fire hose being turned I exploded full throttle into her mouth! She moaned in delight and swallowed my semen like a baby bird would eat from its mother's mouth. She swallowed it all and continued licking and sucking for further drops of my semen.

Her green seductive eyes looked up at me and she said in such a soft, seductive, delicate voice no one could resist, "Pleasure me like that too? Please...." 

We changed positions. Barb slid back into the tub with her back against the tub and spread her legs for me. I laid on my front with her beautiful wet, naked body before me. I took in everything of her including watching her finger herself in front of me. I looked up at her as she looked down at me. 

"Eat me," she said. "Eat me like a bowl of fruit and don't stop even if I scream my head off." Her pussy lips looked moist like a clamshell ready to be opened and suckled. I licked her fingers and brushed her hand away with my tongue. Her fingers combed through my hair as I began to lick her pussy with my tongue. She held my head down so I couldn't pull up from her. She tasted as sweet as I had imagined and I continued to suckle her oyster shaped vagina until I slipped my tongue inside. I then heard the most beautiful sigh from her then she inhaled quivering. 

"Oh my," I heard her cry. I continued pleasuring her penetrating her vagina with my tongue. Her moaning became louder and I opened my eyes and looked up to see her looking down at me watching. Each time I sucked, licked and penetrated her vagina she just kept watching. I felt like I was on trial. This exhilarated me more to quicken my pace. 

"Oh... Yes...!" She moaned. I continued pleasuring her. Suddenly she became hot, wet and creamy and she tasted like deliciously hot, salty caviar. Her gasps for breath became deeper and harder for her to make. She could hardly breath as she screamed out her words of utmost orgasmic ecstasy. 

"Oh... Oh... Oh, yes! Yes..." My hands on her waist felt her stomach quiver and heave up and down as intense orgasms ripped through her innards. My tongue the object of her utmost pleasure slid in and out of her very slowly and torturously. I was like a cat licking milk out of her hole. For me it was the most delicious salty seafood dinner I had ever enjoyed. For her she was screaming, gushing, and heaving with each thrust of my tongue as it pushed deeper and deeper into her pussy.

"Stop! Please stop.... You're killing me," she screamed. I continued, but more quickly and deeper now. "Stop! Oh my, please stop." She tried to pull me up and off her by pulling my hair but I stayed down on her and kept penetrating her faster and deeper with my tongue. Her bloodcurdling scream scared me half to death and was loud enough I thought that the neighbors would surely hear for miles around. Well, I thought to myself, she did say don't stop even if she did scream. Her legs closed in on my head and ears. Her thighs began squeezing hard as if she was trying to kill me to stop. I pulled my tongue out from her hole, licked her sweetness off her clitoris and kept licking her orgasmic juices that flowed like a salty waterfall from her hole. Orgasms ripped through her insides in waves without me. She opened her legs and I looked up at her. Her head was laid back, eyes closed and was gasping for air. 

"Did I hear, keep going?" 

"Oh no... please stop! You're killing me." I stopped and waited for her to catch her breath. A moment or two later she took me by surprise and slid into the tub towards me and with enough force that I ended up on top of her in one fell swoop. The quarter-filled tub of water went with her as she slid down underneath me. In the process half the water soaked the floor. She shrieked and gagged in surprise when the water came rushing back over her head. She tried to sit up but couldn't as I was still on top of her. Her head was underwater for a second or two as she gasped for air. I slid quickly off from on top of her and pulled her up to a sitting position in front of me and held her in my arms. Steadying her she coughed and sputtered trying to regain her breath and looked at me. 

"You ok?" I asked looking into her blinking, tearing eyes. She quickly wrapped her legs around my waist to further steady herself. 




The Past Catches Up



This story is complete, all three chapters are posted.

Chapter 1, Jerrod Tells About His Past

When I was growing up I was often told to watch the things I say and do, our past has a tendency to come back and bite us in the ass. I never paid a lot of attention to it and enjoyed my life. According to my parents I was somewhat of a wild child and didn't heed their warnings often enough.

In high school I would pull pranks, skip school and my parents were often called in to see the Principal. They warned me to straighten up before it was too late. In my senior year I buckled down and studied so I could get into to college. It was surprising to most people that even with all my antics I was an intelligent kid and got really good grades.

I partied a lot my first two years of college. I was an underage drinker that had a phony ID. It didn't make much difference since most of the parties I went to were private parties. There were always a lot of booze and women, with most women being rather loose and intoxicated. The sex was free for the taking and I took a lot.

A week didn't go by without a party and lots of sex. I was still able to do well in my studies and keep up my grades. I had a position waiting for me when and if I graduated from college.

My dad was the president of the bank in our town in Ohio. He told me that if I graduated from college and kept my nose clean that he would make me a vice-president of the bank within three years of graduating from college. Till then I would learn all the aspects of the banking profession and be groomed for the vice-presidential position.

This was an opportunity that not many people were offered and I was smart enough to know it. I just liked having fun and sowing my oats while I was young. I practiced safe sex and most always used a condom. I had sex with a lot of different women and most more than once. Many of them told me that they weren't looking for a husband but just having a good time.

I was in my junior year at college when Nicole, one of my bed buddies told me she was pregnant. I was shocked and not sure what to do. It shook me up pretty bad and I knew I had to tell my parents. I told them I didn't love her and I doubt she loved me. She was a total party girl and slept with as many guys as I did girls.

My dad told me that I ate the steak and now had to pay for it. He often used phrases like that. I told him I didn't want to marry Nicole and she said she wasn't going to have an abortion. Hell, I wasn't even sure it was mine; I told my dad that I always used condoms with Nicole. It didn't impress him and he told me I couldn't buy my way out of this one. All I could do was wait for the baby to be born and get a DNA test done.

When my mom heard that I might have gotten a woman pregnant she shook her head, but told me there was a new test for checking DNA of a fetus. It didn't hurt the baby or the expectant mother. Dad said to tell Nicole that I would be willing to pay for the early DNA test and if it is my child that I would take responsibility as the father.

I told Nicole about the test and at first she said she wouldn't do it. I figured she just picked me because she knew I came from a wealthy family. I told her that my parents would pay for the test and pay for her pregnancy if I was the father. I let her know that I would care for the child, if it was mine but we wouldn't be getting married.

She finally agreed to the test and it came back that I was not the father. It was a big relief to me but I felt sorry for Nicole. She told me at least she had the baby's DNA and could find out who the father was. It ended up being my friend Joe and he told Nicole that he would marry her.

Months later she had the baby and she and Joe moved into an apartment. They said they would wait awhile before getting married. Time will tell if it works out for them.

My dad told me I was lucky this time and I might want to think twice about where I put my cock; that's exactly what he said. It was a wakeup call for me and I cut way back on going to parties and spent more time studying. Instead of having a bunch of one night stands I actually started going on regular dates. Before sleeping with anyone I asked if they were on the pill and I used a condom as well. I wasn't about to take any chances.

I dated some nice women but we didn't click. I wasn't really looking for a steady girlfriend or future wife. My dates were all nice women and I did have sex with a few of them but I just didn't see myself spending the rest of my life with them.

I guess I did what my dad suggested I do, "Grow up and be responsible for your actions." That's what I was doing.

I graduated from college and my dad did get me a position at the bank like he promised. Everyone knew I was being groomed to move up the ladder. I thought back on how lucky I was to have good parents and live through a stage of my life where, "I came through the college fire a little singed but not burned." It was another of my dad's statements.

Life for me was good and I had no problems finding dates. Fine looking women came in the bank everyday. I guess I was beginning to look for that special woman. My mom always smiled at me when I talked about dating. She told me that there was a special woman out there for me and I would know when I saw her.

Mom and Dad dated in college and got married shortly after graduation. Mom told me it was love at first sight and dad agreed with her. It seemed they were meant for each other and I have rarely seen them raise their voice to each other let alone argue.

Dad told me one time that they each accepted each others faults and worked on having a good marriage. My younger sister recently graduated from college and married her boyfriend of two years. She said she knew he was the one when they met in the college library. It must be nice to know you had found the right person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

They are both licensed to sell real estate and work for my mom who has her own real estate and insurance agency. It made my mom very happy to be able to help them out and give them jobs, sort of like my dad did for me. Julie, my sister and her husband Ted are both studying to also sell insurance.

****

I've been out of college for three years now and dad was talking to me about moving me up to vice-president. Roger, our current vice-president was ready to retire. Dad said he was going to post an ad in the paper for a new loan officer to replace me. He told me he wanted me to do the initial interviews and narrow it down to a few applicants and together we would select the most qualified applicant.

We must have had fifty applicants, but most of them didn't have near the qualifications we were seeking. I narrowed it down to ten applicants and brought each one in for an interview. There were five men and five women, but one woman stood out from all the rest.

Her name was Elisabeth Marie Anderson. She had this beautiful smile that showcased her dimples and white, even teeth and blue eyes. She was dressed in a business pants suit but it didn't hide the killer curves she had. I have to admit I was taken back when I first saw her.

She introduced herself and I asked her to sit down. I already had her resume and was going over it with her. I noticed she was from Akron Ohio and graduated from a college in Michigan. I had often wondered why people went to Michigan for college when Ohio had so many schools.

She told me she did go to a university in Ohio for one year and then transferred to Michigan for the last three years. She had family in Michigan and stayed with them while attending college. She didn't seem to want to embellish it any more than that.

I noticed she was in the honor society and on the dean's list the entire time she was in college graduating with honors. During the summer months she worked in a credit union doing a number of accounting and reception jobs. I had to admit that her resume was very impressive as was her looks.

After the interview I asked her if she could return in a couple of days for another interview with the bank president (my father). He and I together would be making the final decision on our new associate. I thanked her for coming and assured her that she was one of our final three choices.

****

I had a meeting with my dad and told him I narrowed it down to who I thought were the three best candidates. There were two men and one woman, all with some accounting and banking backgrounds and were college graduates. The woman was the top of her class and my first choice.

My dad looked at me and said, "I can see from your enthusiasm that you prefer the woman. I take it she's a looker?" my dad smiled.

I tried to cover and made a fool of myself, "No ... ah ... I mean ... um, yes she is a beautiful woman but I believe she seems to have the best qualifications." My dad laughed lightly as I told him that all three would be back to meet with him in a couple of days.

****

I introduced each of the interviewees to my dad and he talked to them one at a time. Even though I favored Beth, my father would be making the decision. When I interviewed her she told me I could call her Beth, that everyone did except her mother who would call her Elisabeth Marie when she did something wrong. It made us both laugh.

The new employee would be working in our main office and I would be running one of our branch offices a few miles away. After the interviews my dad called me in and told me to call Miss Anderson in and to apologize to the two gentlemen and send them home.

A big smile crossed my face. My dad said he chose her because of her intellect not just her looks. I had to get the smile off my face as I had to go tell two people that they didn't get the position.

She smiled at me when I told her the bank president wanted to speak with her. I turned to the two men and thanked them for applying for the position but it has now been filled but we would keep their resumes on file for any possible future positions.

Beth would be starting the following Monday and I would be explaining her duties to her. I would be dividing my time between helping her get situated and getting myself situated and updated on the duties of the vice-president at the branch office. I explained to her that my present secretary Sally would help her if she needed anything if I wasn't available.

She learned so quickly that even my dad was proud of her. He told me that she was doing an excellent job and that Sally had said that the clients really like dealing with her; she was so personable. Even my mom said she liked her from the minute she talked to her. She even went as far to say I should find a woman like her.

What mom and dad didn't know was that I had asked Beth out a few times and got turned down politely. She told me she didn't think dating her boss was a good idea. She did say that after she has been there for awhile that maybe we could have dinner together.

I believe it's true when they say that most men want what they can't have. I knew I wanted to at least date Beth. She seemed so intriguing to me. She was a very beautiful woman, but almost living a secret life. I guess not really a secret, it's just no one knew much about her seeing she wasn't from around here.

I read over her resume and even did the background check for security purposes. She was squeaky clean as well as intelligent. Her parents came down to visit her and she introduced them to me, my dad and Sally. They talked about how proud they were of their daughter.

On weekends Beth would often go home to see her family so I don't know if she dated anyone. Sally told me a number of men that came in the bank had asked her out but she nicely rebuffed their advances. One day she came in wearing an engagement ring. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I really felt bad, I was really falling for this woman. Later that day Sally saw me moping around and said she had something to tell me. She said that Beth told her that she wasn't really engaged but that it might stop some of the advances she was getting.

Beth and Sally were quickly becoming good friends, but whenever I asked Sally questions about Beth she wouldn't say anything to me that wasn't business related. I remember Sally saying, "You want her because you can't have her, right Jerrod?" She went on to say, "She's a wonderful person and I'm not telling you anything about her other then business related. If you want to know something, ask her yourself. Oh, just so you know, she considers you a hunk," she smiled and walked away.

Sally has worked at the bank for a number of years. She's married with two kids. She was offered the loan position before we filled it but said she enjoys being the secretary and it works best for her family. Her husband was a supervisor in a local factory and they seemed to have a good marriage.

Beth often went with Sally to the local exercise gym and bought a membership. They usually go after work a few days a week but always when it was women only. They were both good looking women even though they were ten years different in age. They seemed almost like sisters.

I didn't have a lot of free time since I was working, running the branch office and overseeing Beth's training at the main office. At least twice a week we would have a business meeting going over banking procedures and updating records. Dad was always at the head of the table and I did my best to sit next to Beth.

Usually after the meeting we would all have lunch which Dad picked up the tab. He told Beth she was doing a good job and that I wouldn't need to oversee her work anymore. It was a good thing for Beth but it meant I couldn't be with her as often.

A couple of months went by and my dad said he was having a nice dinner for my mother's birthday and it was for our family at a swank restaurant. Since I was single he told me I could invite a guest. I didn't hesitate to stop in to see and ask Beth to go.

At first she wasn't sure what to say. I told her it was just family and I had a plus one and I wanted it to be her. She accepted and I was all smiles. I told her when it was and that I would be picking her up. She knew it was a dress up affair and I wondered how she would look.

****

I picked Beth up the day of the dinner and she looked sexy as hell. She wore a blue sequence dress that showed her curves and came a few inches above the knees and a V-shaped neckline which showed her ample breasts. There ended up being more guests since my mother's siblings were all there. She had three sisters and two brothers and they all flew in with their spouses from different states for mom's birthday party.

It was great to see all my aunts and uncles. We rarely all got together except for funerals. I introduced Beth as my date and my uncles told me what a lucky guy I was and not to let her get away. They all kept calling her my girlfriend and after correcting them a number of times, Beth just laughed and said to let it go. "They don't believe you anyway." God, I was falling for her head over heels.

After dinner we all went to the lounge and had drinks and listened to the music. Dad asked Mom to dance and I asked Beth and we danced to the slow numbers. I held her close and could smell her perfume. She was intoxicating and I couldn't get enough of her. I told her that she was the perfect woman and she said not to say that, no one was perfect.

I must have upset her and didn't know why but she went to the ladies room. Upon her return I apologized for anything I might have said to upset her, that was the last thing I wanted to do.

She said she was fine and things seem to be ok. A couple of my uncles as well as my dad danced with Beth and said when they talked with her that she told them she really liked me. I wasn't sure if they were kidding with me or not, so the next time I danced with her I asked her.

"Did they really say I said that?" asked Beth.

"Yes, were they kidding with me?" I replied.

She smiles and said, "No, they asked me what I thought of you and I told them I liked you from the first time I saw you but that you were my boss and I didn't feel we should date."

I stopped dead on the dance floor and pulled her to me and kissed her softly for a few seconds. I pulled back and said, "I had to do that. I'm not sorry."

Her mouth fell slightly open and she stared at me not saying anything. I took her back in my arms and we continued our dance. I knew my dad and uncles saw us kiss but no one said anything.

It was near the end of the evening when the party started to break up. Some of my relatives had rooms in the hotel and I wished I had booked one even though it was driving distance from my home. I thought, 'Who knows, I might have gotten lucky,' but again I knew Beth wasn't a pushover.

All the guests said goodnight to my mother and also to Beth saying they hope to see her again. My uncles told me to hold on to her, she was a good catch. I know she overheard them but just smiled. We got in my car and I headed for her home. We had a little small talk and she told me how much she liked my family. I pulled up to her condo (which she was leasing) and I went around and opened her car door. I walked her to the door and I could see her thinking. I wanted her to invite me in but I wasn't about to push her. Things so far have been going great.

She turned to me at the door and I kissed her for the second time that night. This time she kissed me back and I wrapped my arms around her. "I really like you a lot Beth. I think of you all the time."

She stared at me for a few seconds as though she was reading my mind. "Do you want to come in for a nightcap? I have a chilled bottle of wine in the fridge."

I smiled as she opened the door and I took her wrap and placed it over a chair. Her place was immaculate just like she was. She asked me to sit down while she went and got us some glasses. I chose the couch hoping she would sit next to me. She came in with two glasses of wine, handed me one and sat down on the couch next to me.

I took a sip of wine and so did she. She again said what a wonderful time she had and I stopped her by kissing her again. We began to make out like two horny teenagers for the first time. I had my hand on her thigh and slid it up her leg; she didn't stop me. I felt her panties and they were damp.

"Beth, I want to make love to you. I don't want to push you into anything you don't want to do and promise to be gentle. I just want to be with you so much."

I had no idea what type of a sexual background she had but most people knew mine was pretty wild even though I settled down in the last few years. I had true feeling for Beth and didn't want to push it. I couldn't remember the last time I cared for a woman this much.

Since she was good friends with Sally, our secretary and office manager, I'm sure Sally told her about my past. Other than her college and working transcripts I didn't know a lot about Beth.

"Jerrod, I care for you; I really do. I don't want this to be a one time thing. If you want to be in a relationship then I'm yours. I trust you enough that I believe you will be honest with me."

She stood up and reached for my hand, I took hers and got up. She looked at me and leaned forward and kissed me. She turned her back to me and asked me to undo her zipper on her dress. I pulled it down and she let the dress fall at her feet leaving her in only her bra and panties.

She took my hand and we walked to her bedroom. I had already slipped off my sports coat and tie earlier when we were making out. She unbuttoned my shirt slowly and still was staring at my eyes. I slipped off my shirt as she undid my belt buckle.

We kissed and I put my hands on her ass and pulled her tight against me. I dropped to my knees and kissed her belly. She was so soft and warm. I lowered my face to the fuzzy area below her belly button. As I kissed her there she pulled my head tight against her. I literally licked and kissed my way down to the top of her trimmed muff.




The Past Catches Up



While on my knees I put my hand on the waist band of her panties and pulled them down. I stood up and noticed she had removed her bra. I dropped my briefs and we went to the bed. We started our hugging and kissing and I worked my way down her body. She had beautiful tits and I had to take the time to suck on each one.

She lay there with her hands above her head and gave me free rein to her body. We didn't talk but she was moaning most of the time as I kissed and licked her beautiful body. I wanted to take time and eat her pussy but I wanted her so bad. I did kiss and lick her clit and could smell her sex.

I apologized to her and told her I had to have her. I had put a condom on her nightstand and grabbed it and put it on. She smiled at me and spread her legs as I took my very hard cock and rubbed it twice over her pussy lips and pushed it into her very wet pussy. It was so hot that I had to hold back from coming. We didn't last but a few minutes and she had her eyes closed and was biting her lip as I felt her reach an orgasm.

I pushed in hard and her pussy squeezed my cock and I came as hard as I have ever come. Squirt after squirt entered the condom as we both pushed hard against each other. We were both breathing hard and I leaned down and kiss her. My cock softened and I pulled out of her and lay next to her.

I spoke first, "I'm sorry I came so quickly but I wanted you so bad. I promise to do my best to last longer next time."

She smiled at me and told me how good it felt and was happy there would be a next time. She walked to her bathroom and I heard the shower and afterwards she came out wrapped in a towel. During this time I had taken off the condom and wrapped it in a tissue and put in in her waste basket. She asked me if I wanted another glass of wine and I said I did and she went in her living room to get it.

I took the opportunity to go to her bathroom and relieve myself and clean up a little also disposing of the condom. When I came back into the room she was sitting on the bed with our glasses of wine. I went to slip on my briefs and she told me it wasn't necessary and smiled. I sat next to her and we drank our wine.

She told me she went on very few dates and had never had a real boyfriend. Ever since college she never really trusted most men. She figured all they ever seemed to want was the sex and she wanted more than that. I was surprised when she said there were a few nice men she went out with but because of her distrust of men she really never gave their relationships a chance.

"Why me? I have kind of a bad past which I'm sure you know about," I asked.

"Because you didn't push me. Sally has told me a lot about you and I adore you mother and sister. They treat me like family and I feel very comfortable around them. Besides I think you're a hunk," she said and laughed out loud.

It was getting late and Beth asked me if I wanted to spend the night. I look over at her and kissed her. I don't know what made me say it but it just came out. "I'd love to spend the rest of my life with you."

I know it kind of surprised both of us but she smiled at me and took our wine glasses and set them on the end table and turned off the light. "Let's start with taking it a day at a time," she said.

This time I climbed between her legs as she spread them wide and I began to eat, suck and kiss her beautiful pussy to let her know how much I cared for her. I didn't stop till she climaxed and came all over my face. I moved up and kissed her with her juices on my face. I rolled over on my back and she mounted me and we fucked till we both came.

I love that position because I could see her facial expressions as well as having my hands free to play with her tits.

****

We began dating regularly after that night. We became a couple and got together at least twice a week to make love. Yes, it was love. There was nothing we wouldn't do for each other in the bedroom.

At work we acted professional but like good friends. My family and Sally knew how much we cared for each other. I would get a little jealous when men would kind of hit on her but she always handled it professionally.

About six months had gone by and I wanted to see more of Beth. I decided to ask her out to dinner and ask her to marry me. She was dressed in a tight blue dress that was well above her knees. She knew it was one of my favorites on her, sexy but almost slutty.

We went to a swank restaurant and had a couple of drinks in the lounge waiting for our table. I saw a guy sitting at the bar that kept staring at us. I guess I should say staring at Beth and I have to admit I didn't care for it. I didn't say anything to Beth because I didn't want to ruin the evening.

I was happy when they called us to our table just to get away from this jerk. We had just finished dinner and I pulled out the ring and asked Beth to marry me. With tears in her eyes she said yes, as I slipped the ring on her finger.

I have to admit it was one of the happiest moments of my life. A woman I really loved had said yes to marrying me. Then, in the next few minutes everything went crazy. This jerk that was staring at us from the bar came up to our table and said, "Damn, it really is you Beth. I would recognize those legs anywhere."

Beth looked at this jerk and said, "Oh my God! Brad, please just get out of here and leave us alone." She looked scared to death. It was like a deer caught in the headlights

"Beth, do you know this guy?" I asked.

"Hell yes she knows me. Your slut girlfriend tried to get me expelled my final year of college. She ruined my chances of getting a good job," said this guy Brad.

"Please, just leave Brad!" Beth was starting to cry.

I was upset and told the guy, "Get the hell out of here before I fuck you up!"

"Maybe you should know that your whore girlfriend gave me and my buddies syphilis and then left our college."

I got up and cold-cocked the asshole on the left side of his face and he staggered back a few steps. Beth screamed out, "Please stop!" as she got up from the table.

Brad tried to swing at me but I blocked his arm and hit him hard in the stomach as he fell to the floor. I was pissed and kicked him at least a couple of times. The next thing I knew was security pulled me off the asshole and said that they called the police.

Within minutes the police arrived and questioned me. Brad was carried out in an ambulance and taken to the hospital. The police told me I was under arrest for assault. I got really pissed and said that all I was doing was protecting my fiancée.

They told me I could tell it to a judge. Witnesses said I hit the man first and then kicked him a number of times when he went down. They said he was belligerent but never even threw a punch and didn't have a weapon of any kind, not even a beer bottle.

I had to pay my bill and asked where my date was. The waiter said she went to the ladies room and then left in a taxi. I looked down at the table and the engagement ring I had just put on her finger was setting there. I paid my bill and picked up the engagement ring and left with the police officers wondering how such a wonderful night turned so horrible in the blink of an eye.

I called my dad from the police station and he came down and posted my bond. I told him exactly what happened and he said it must be some kind of mistake, Beth wasn't that type of woman. Dad loved her like a daughter. She never denied anything that this Brad fellow said. Did she lead some kind of second life? I didn't know what to think.

****

On Sunday I tried to call her over and over but she wasn't answering. I went by her apartment and she wasn't there. I wondered where the hell she went. On Monday I had to open the branch office of the bank but I did call Sally and asked if Beth showed up. She said Beth went in to see my father and gave him a resignation letter and that she was too ashamed to talk to me.

I told her I had a meeting but would be down to the main branch within the hour and to not let Beth leave. I did make it to the office but both Beth and Sally were gone. Dad told me that my mom and Sally took Beth someplace to talk with her. I asked dad if he was going to accept her resignation and he said, "No way, she's family. I don't know what happened in her life but if anyone can help her it's your mother and Sally."

Later in the day my dad called me and said the women weren't back yet but we had other problems. This Brad Murray was suing me for assault. Dad said he sent his lawyer to see this Brad guy and he looked pretty bad. The left side of his face was a bruised mess and he had a cracked rib. Dad did say he was going to check into Brad's background and see what he could find out.

Chapter 2, Beth Speaks

I wanted to just disappear after what happened at the restaurant. I love Jerrod with all of my being and he was the only man I have ever trusted and loved. When he asked me to marry him I was the happiest woman alive and then minutes later that asshole Brad showed up. I've never lied to Jerrod but there is some things in my past that I never told him.

I thought the best thing I could do is resign my position and head back home to Akron but Sally called Amy (Jerrod's mother) and the two of them took me out to a beach house to talk. I didn't know what to tell them. Amy told me to just tell them the truth. We sat down with a glass of wine and I told them my story.

I told them I was ashamed of my past and have never told anyone, not even my own parents. Amy told me I needed to get it out. I had held it in way to long and it wasn't good to do it. She told me that neither she or Sally would judge me, they were there to help me.

I began by telling them that I was a teenage geek. I was extremely smart and also quite overweight. I would go as far to say that I was fat or at least chubby. I had braces and wore glasses. I never went to a prom or was ever on a date. I didn't really have any male friends. Sure, there were classmates but no one I could be close to.

I was accepted at a college in Ohio with a full ride scholarship. I was happy and so were my parents. The only problem is I would be living on my own. The first year I would live in a dorm with another classmate. Her name was Sandy but we didn't have a lot in common. She wanted to become a nurse and I was in business. We didn't even have classes together.

Again I felt somewhat alone. I actually went home most weekends where I at least had my parents and I knew the people in the neighborhood. I talked to one of my instructors and she said maybe I should take exercise classes. It would get me more involved and seeing I was worried about my weight it might help me lose weight.

That's what I did. I started out going twice a week and eventually went four times a week. It was an all women class and I met some new friends. I was slowly losing weight and felt good about myself. When I went home my parents told me I looked good. I was still chubby but I knew I lost quite a few pounds.

I went to the dentist and had my braces removed. I was feeling pretty good about myself. I attended my first party ever; I had read about in the school newspaper. I was sitting there when a guy asked me to dance. I told him I didn't dance and he said all I had to do was move my feet.

His name was Lance and he was a bit on the chubby side and probably not the best looking, but he was the first guy ever to pay attention to me and ask me to dance. I stayed with him for the rest of the party. There were a group of us sitting together and they passed around some weed. I told Lance that I never tried it and he told me not to be a party pooper.

I wanted to fit in. I was tired of always being alone. Even though I was overweight I had feeling and wanted to be loved. I did take a couple of hits and got buzzed right away. Lance reached over and touched my boobs and I wasn't sure what to do. I told him I didn't want to be touched in public and he convinced me to go to his room. I was pretty much out of it and went with him.

When we got to his room he kissed me. I was scared that I wasn't doing it right but he told me I was doing fine. He undid my blouse and began playing with my breasts. I knew this was wrong but I always wanted someone to want me and Lance did.

We were on his bed and he began sucking on my breasts. He slid his hand down and unbuttoned my jeans and pulling down the zipper. I had on my pink panties and he slid his hand down under my panties and onto my mound. It felt wrong yet so good, I was being wanted by a man and I let him have his way.

He slipped off my jeans as well as my panties and got between my legs. I told him I was a virgin and wasn't on the pill. He said, no problem and slipped on a condom. He rubbed his cock up and down my vagina and I know that I was totally wet. He pushed his cock in me and I felt a sting but after that it felt good. I was having sex for the first time.

We probably only lasted a few minutes but I did come. I had my first sexual orgasm. I can't say it was all I hoped it would be but at least I had an orgasm.

I ended up seeing Lance at least once a week. We didn't have any classes together and all we did was have sex. When I went home I went to the doctor and got on the pill. The last thing I needed was to get pregnant. I never told my mom about getting the pill or that I was having sex.

****

One evening Lance had some more weed and he convinced me to try it. He said the sex we had after smoking weed was the best. I knew I shouldn't but did it any way. I got high and Lance got me naked. He was sucking on my breasts and then began to fuck me. I didn't tell him I was on the pill so he still used condoms.

As we were fucking, the door opened and his roommate Dan came in. I told him we should cover up but he said Dan has seen naked women before. I was half out of it and he kept fucking me and Dan came over and started kissing my fat tits. I jut let it happen and the next thing I know, Dan had his cock out and rubbing it against my face. I had never sucked a cock before, not even Lance's.

Dan turned my head and I opened my mouth and he pushed his cock into my mouth. He said it felt good and I felt proud that I must be doing it right. About that time Lance came in the condom and pulled out. I felt empty since I hadn't come yet. Dan pulled out of my mouth and got between my legs and began fucking me.

It wasn't long before I came hard, feeling his cum shooting in me. Lance told him that he wasn't wearing a condom and Dan said he didn't believe in them. I then told Lance that I had been on the pill for a couple of months now. He was a bit pissed at me for not telling him and making him use a condom.

Lance and I got together a couple of more times but it wasn't the same. I had thought about it and I couldn't believe my so called boyfriend let another man have me.

It was around spring break when I heard that a lot of the guys and even a few girls were going to Virginia Beach. I wanted to fit in and asked my parents if I could go and they told me I was much too young and nothing good could come out of it. Of course I was mad at them but didn't tell them I had already slept with two guys.

When Lance and his friends got back from spring break he told me I missed a hell of a good time. They found a nude beach and everyone got high and had a regular orgy. I told him I might have had sex with him but I would never take part in such a thing.

I pretty much broke it off with Lance after that. Besides I had lost quite a bit of weight and was feeling better about myself. A friend of Lance's asked me out; his name was Brad. He was a senior and I actually felt special that he would ask me, a freshman out.

He said there was a big frat party and it was the last one of the season. It was the first time I was ever invited to one. He told me it was a semi dress up affair and to wear a skirt and blouse. I was so happy that I was invited that I never thought about if it was true.

I dressed up in a new skirt and blouse that I had bought for the occasion. Brad picked me up and took me to his frat house. There were a few guys standing around and I saw a couple of girls but they weren't dress up. They just had on jeans.

"When does the party start?" I asked.

"We always start a little late. It will be a while," said Brad as he handed me a drink. I didn't really drink and wasn't even old enough but I took the drink from Brad and sipped it. Someone turned on some music so I had to wonder if this really was a party. One of the other girls gave me what they called a jello shot. It was some kind of alcohol put in jello. I took one and she told me to swallow it all at once.

I did and it wasn't too bad and she told me to take another. I had two more before Brad came back with another drink and sat next to me on the couch. It wasn't long when I began feeling woozy. I don't know if I was drunk or if they put something in either my shots or the drink.

I told Brad in slurred words that I wasn't felling good and maybe I should go home. He helped me up and took me to his bedroom and lay me on the bed. It was then he began undoing my blouse. I was too out of it to fight him off. He removed my blouse and bra and then undid my skirt.

I lay there naked and he took off his pants and briefs and got between my legs and pushed his cock in me. I looked up and saw Lance, Dan and a couple of other guys. I knew then that I was going to be gang banged. I lay there as Brad laughed and said, "So, you never would take part in an orgy, little girl. I got news for you; you're in one now. If you try telling anyone about this it will our word against yours. Who do you think they're going to believe?" He laughed as he fucked me hard. I didn't feel pain but I didn't feel pleasure either, just sort of numb.

He came hard in me. I felt his cum hitting my insides. He got off of me and told Lance it was his turn. Lance took no time at all to mount me and without a condom. He told the other guys that I was his first and they all kind of snickered. After Lance it was Dan and then a couple of other guys I knew as Archie and Roy.

I eventually was totally out of it. I fell asleep somewhere along the line. When I woke up hours later everyone was asleep. Brad was on the bed and others on the floor or went back to their own rooms. I got up and headed to the bathroom.

I couldn't believe the amount of cum that came out of me. I sat there a good fifteen minutes crying and using toilet paper to get as much out of me as possible. I wanted a shower but wanted to get out of this frat house.

I found my clothes and quietly got dressed and headed for my dorme. It was the middle of the night and I had to walk about a mile. The campus police stopped me and asked where I was going and coming from.

I actually told them somewhat of the truth that I was at a frat party and fell asleep and was heading to my dorm. They told me I shouldn't be out alone so late at night and told me to get in their vehicle and they drove me to my dorm. I thanked them and they waited for me to enter my dorm.

I quickly went to the showers and stayed in it for half an hour. I know I couldn't wash away what happened to me but the shower felt so good. I went back to my room and slept till almost noon. When I woke up I wished it was all a dream but it wasn't.

For the next two weeks I pretty much kept to myself. Whenever I saw any of the guys from the frat house they snickered at me and I went the other way. All I wanted to do was make it through the season. I wasn't sure what I would do next year.

I woke up one morning with a horrible rash on my pubic area. I knew I had to go to the school nurse. She looked at me and said I had syphilis. I was almost in shock. She told me she needed to know all the sexual partners I had sex with in the last couple of months. The last thing they needed was an outbreak of syphilis on the campus.




The Past Catches Up



I didn't know what else to do so I told her about the gang bang and she got really mad. She told me too many guys get away with this shit. I gave her the names of the guys I remembered but told her there could have been more.

She shook her head as she wrote down the names. She told me she needed to know who this originated with and how many other might have the disease. I was happy to hear that it was completely curable through shots but they needed to get it early.

When the guys were called in to be examined they found that five had the disease. Three of them in turn gave it to their girlfriends. When it was all said and done there were twenty-two people who had the disease. It spread around campus that I was the one who it originated with.

I talked with the nurse and she said it wasn't me, it was Brad. He contracted the disease over spring break along with two other men that weren't at the gang bang. She said thanks to me they were able to stop an epidemic. She also said I should files charges against Brad and his friends.

If I did they would hold up their graduate degrees till after the case was heard in court. More than likely all the participants would be expelled. The nurse told me more women need to come forward to stop this kind of activity.

I wanted to help but I just wanted to forget this ever happened. I had two weeks of school left. I didn't talk to anyone. For some reason everyone involved blamed me. I didn't file any charges and switched colleges after the end of the season. The nurse did put the syphilis data on all the school records including mine.

I went home for the summer and told my parents that I was switching schools. I wasn't happy there even though I had a 4.0 grade point average and made the dean's list. I was easily accepted at a college in Michigan that I chose that was close to my aunt's house. I didn't want to live on campus. The whole party scene wasn't for me.

Amy hugged me and told me that everything would be alright. We had another glass of wine and I finished telling my story.

I had joined an exercise class at the new college and got down to a size 8. I felt great about myself and my aunt took me under her wing and we went to a beauty salon and I had somewhat of a makeover. I was showed the proper way to put on makeup (my mother didn't believe in makeup) and my aunt actually said, "You will be asked out a lot. Don't sleep with just anybody, the right man will come along and you'll be glad you waited." I almost broke down when she said that. If she only knew.

I almost blurted out what had happened to me but I kept it in. I didn't date a lot in college but I did go out with a few nice men. I didn't drink till I was old enough and stopped smoking pot altogether. To be honest I did have sex with a few guys that I though might be the right one but it wasn't till I met Jerrod that I fell in love.

Now I ruined it for us and don't know if I can ever face him again. The happiest day of my life turned out to be the worst day ever. I lost the only man that I have ever loved.

"You didn't lose him Beth. He's still there and worried to death about you," replied Sally. "He was on his way over to see you when we left. Give him a chance. He's a great guy and you are a wonderful couple that is meant to be together."

"I don't know if I can tell him what I told you. It's so embarrassing. He's a guy and probably won't understand that I just wanted love and looked in the wrong place for it and paid the price."

"Honey," said Amy. "I'll speak to him. I'm his mother and know him better than anyone. He doesn't need to know every little detail but I'll let him know you're not the woman this Brad guy said you were and that you love him."

"He was arrested and taken to jail. It was my fault! He did it to protect my honor and might have to go to prison because of me. I heard that Brad is filing charges of assault against Jerrod."

"Beth, don't worry. Ed (Jerrod's father) is checking into this case. He's not going to let his son go to prison for standing up for his girlfriend. Besides Ed loves you like his daughter, the same as I do."

I was crying and Amy hugged me. I knew it was time to go back to the bank and see Jerrod face to face.

When we got back to the bank, Amy went in first. She asked Jerrod into the office and she told him the highlights of the story I told her. She did tell him I caught syphilis and how that happened. She reminded him of all the crazy things he did in college but outgrew them. She told him how much I love him and tried to put my life back together and holding all of these things inside of me.

When he came out of the office I was sitting at my desk. I was half afraid to look up. The bank was full of people and I was trying to act natural as possible. Jerrod came up to my desk and said, "I already did this once but we got rudely interrupted." He put the ring on my desk and I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. He got down on one knee and said, "Beth, I love you with all my heart, will you marry me?"

I started crying and the bank became silent, everyone waiting for my answer. "Yes I'll marry you," I said while still crying. The bank erupted with joy and shouting. Everyone coming up to congratulate us.

We wanted to set a date but we had to wait to see what would happen in his lawsuit.

Chapter 3, The Conclusion

My dad came over to Beth's desk and ripped her resignation in half and handed it back to her, smiled and went back to his office.

In the following days Beth and I were able to talk about her past and I told her we never had to talk about it again. We saw each other most everyday either at the bank, when I came over to the main office or after hours when we went out to dinner or just spent time together in her condo.

We made love at least a couple of times a week. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for her, or her for me. She loved it when I sucked on her toes or spent a lot of time kissing her belly below her bellybutton. We almost always made love but every now and then we would have raw sex like when I would take her anal or she would let me come in her mouth.

My dad found out that Brad worked for his father as a salesman at his auto dealership. He made an appointment to go see Brad and his dad at their business.

"What do you want?" said Brad. "I'm suing your son for what he did to me. I can't help it if his girlfriend's a slut."

My dad said he got really mad and could have put the son of a bitch back in the hospital. Brad's dad stepped between them and told his son to watch his mouth. It already put him in the hospital once.

My dad looked at Brad and said, "Listen you belligerent cock-sucker. I love Beth as my daughter and you call her a slut one more time it will take more than your dad to keep me from killing you. I got Beth's school records as well as yours and I know what you did to her. The only reason you were allowed to graduate was because she didn't file charges but that's going to change."

"What do you mean change?" asked Brad's father.

"You and your son know what he did and I convinced Beth to file the charges which if you're convicted, you'll be spending quite a bit of time in prison."

"You don't have any proof," replied Brad.

"On the contrary. I contacted a few of the other guys that were at the gangbang, Lance and Dan will both testify that you arranged everything and the records show that you were the one that brought syphilis to the college. I think I have a pretty good case. There is no limitation on time to file charges for what you did."

"Wait," said Brad's dad. "Is there any way we can talk this through and settle out of court?"

"As much as I would prefer to see your son go to prison I don't really want to put Beth through this if I don't have to. If your son drops all charges against Jerrod and you send him to another of your dealerships away from this city where Beth or Jerrod would never have to see him, we won't file the lawsuit."

"Bullshit! You won't file any suit," replied Brad.

His father told him to shut his fucking mouth as I threw the lawsuit folder on the desk. "I need your answer now. I can either go back to my bank or to the courthouse. Your choice."

Mr. Murray picked up the folder and read all the charges against his son. I could tell his son had never told him the truth.

Brad looked scared to death. He played his trump card and lost. His dad looked at him and told him to call his lawyer and cancel the damn lawsuit. He knew I wasn't bluffing and even though his son was an asshole he was still his son.

Brad made the call and I reminded him that there was no time limit on what he did to Beth and that I never wanted to see his fucking face again. I left their office and could hear his father calling him every name in the book. His dad had looked through the file and saw what his son was accused of doing.

I went back to my lawyer's office and told him the good news. He called the courts and verified that the case against Jerrod was dropped. Dad stopped by the restaurant where the altercation took place and talked to the owner who knew my dad. He said since the case against Jerrod was dropped that he would see that any charges stemming from the altercation at the restaurant would be dropped also. Dad did promise the owner that our wedding reception would be held there.

I went with Beth the following weekend to meet her parents. They were pretty old fashion and mom told me that I should ask her dad for Beth's hand in marriage. I don't know why but I was a little scared in meeting her parents again but they were very nice people.

When I ask them for Beth's hand in marriage they both smiled. They knew what I did for a living since they had stopped by the office when Beth first started at the bank. Beth showed them her engagement ring and said now we could make plans for the wedding. They wanted to pay for our wedding but I told them it wasn't necessary we were financially able to handle it.

Her dad objected and said they had saved money through the years and he was paying for his daughter's wedding; that's the way things are done. I had no choice but to agree. We sat down at the dinner table and had a wonderful home cooked meal. I slept on the couch. We spent the night but I wasn't allowed to sleep with Beth till after we were married.

In the morning we had a nice breakfast and said our goodbyes. Amy, Sally and Beth worked on the wedding arrangements. Beth and I both decided not to have bachelor parties. We didn't need last flings or anything like that, we had each other.

The wedding turned out wonderful. Beth's dad was a very proud father walking his daughter down the aisle. Sally was her matron of honor. I asked my dad to be my best man; I don't know any other man that I respect more. Our wedding was small and we only invited our closest relatives. On my side all my aunts and uncles showed up. I met Beth's aunt who she stayed with while she went to college.

I remember her aunt telling her that she waited for the right man. It made Beth blush. My parents and Beth's parents got along fine.

I have to tell you how beautiful Beth looked. She wore a white wedding dress and I swear she looked like an angel. I can honestly say I never saw any woman look prettier. I had tears in my eyes but they were tears of love and joy. When the minister said, "You may kiss the bride," I was the happiest man alive. I didn't want to stop. My dad said, "Save some for later," and everyone laughed.

We did go to the restaurant where all the trouble started but the manager treated us like royalty. We had a wonderful buffet for all our guests and then headed into the party room for the reception. Dad had talked with Mr. Anderson and said he would like to pay for the reception since he had a couple of hundred friends and acquaintances coming to the reception.

Mr. Anderson agreed especially since he or his wife didn't drink. Beth and I danced and I held her close. We did drink some champagne to celebrate our marriage but neither of us wanted to get drunk. We danced with everyone who asked and I even danced with Mrs. Anderson. They played a song 'Daddy's Little Girl' and Beth danced with her father. They both had tears in their eyes. I took my mom by the hand and we joined them.

I know I owed my life to having two great parents that no matter how bad I was or what I did, they always stuck with me. If it wasn't for mom talking with Beth my life would have never been the same.

After the reception Beth and I went to our room and made love all night. Dad gave me one of his little blue pills to make sure it would be an all nighter. I did everything that Beth loved. Sucked her toes, kissed her belly, and gave her oral sex till she climaxed all over my face and then kissed her.

I took my cock and rubbed it up and down against her pussy teasing her till she finally said, "Stop teasing me and fuck me. I love you so much."

The following day we left on a cruise and when we stopped in the Bahamas they had a regular beach and a nude beach. I asked her which one she wanted to go to. "Jerrod, I love you all my heart and soul but the only person who will ever see me naked is you."

What was a bit funny was her bathing suit didn't cover much. A bra and under panties would cover more. She knew she looked good by all the looks she got from other men but she said, "They can look as much as they want but only you can have me."

We ended up having sex in the water. I don't know if anyone noticed but I didn't care. I was with the woman I love.

****

We settled in and I moved into her condo which now was our condo. She was off the pill ever since the wedding and we hoped to start a family. We made love or had sex most every night for the first month or so. It worked because she came home from the doctor's beaming with joy and told me she was pregnant. It didn't stop us from making love.

We both learned from our mistakes and hoped we could pass our knowledge onto our kids as they got older. We hoped they would listen but we will be there for them either way. We'll let them know that their past will catch up to them when they least expect it.

*

Thank you for reading my story

Comments are welcome and appreciated

DG Hear 



The Past in Colorado



When I was four years old, my mom died in an automobile accident. I had no brothers or sisters; it was just my dad and I. Both of my grandparents passed away when I was in my early teens. My dad was an only child and my mom had a brother and sister, neither of whom my dad particularly cared for. So, in the end, it was just the two of us. 

For as long as I can remember, he taught English Literature, starting out at community colleges and steadily working his way to the university level. On the side, he also wrote extensively. 

His job took us all over the country, sometimes living in one place for two or three years, and then packing up to move to another town and another college where he would teach. Throughout it all, I managed to get by well enough, even with the lack of long-term friendships. To be sure, I did have friends, but always in the back of my mind was the prospect of having to pack up and resettle in a new school and start over again. I enjoyed it somewhat, however. I met a lot of people and saw places I probably would otherwise have never visited. 

The one constant in my life was my dad. He was always very attentive and knew the moving was hard on me, so we did many things together. And all these years later, I look back and can see just what a wonderful father he was. 

Right after my mom died, I spent a lot of time sleeping in their bed. Soon it became a regular habit and lasted until I was about twelve years old. I was entering my teen years and spent more time in my own bedroom, chatting with what few friends I had on the phone, talking about boys, movies, and all the nonsensical things teenage girls enjoy gabbing about. 

When my dad wasn't at school, he was tucked away in his study in front of his typewriter, and then later his computer, spending many long hours writing and editing. I'd sometimes come in and pester him; just sitting on the floor talking about how my day went and asking him about his. He'd type away, lean in and stare at whatever he was working on, smile and nod, and ask me questions. I knew I was being a bother, but he never said anything otherwise. He seemed to enjoy the company, even if it was a distraction. 

***

I had my first date with a boy when I was fourteen. I was very excited that evening, running around the house, frantically getting myself ready. My dad would follow me around, trying to keep me calm, but never quite succeeding. And when my young suitor arrived, he walked me downtown to the movie theater - neither of us old enough to drive. On the way home that night, he gave me my first kiss. It was a romantic Saturday evening in May, and I had goose bumps the entire way home. 

I told my dad all about my date when I got home, and he was nearly as happy as myself. When I explained how the young man had kissed me, he tilted his head down and gave me a stern expression, although the smile growing on his face betrayed his thoughts. He was genuinely happy for me. But I could sense he was perhaps a little sad, too. His little girl was growing up. 

That night lying in bed, I searched my mind, trying to recall every detail of my date. I recalled the expression my dad gave me when I told him about that first kiss. There was just a hint of disappointment, when I gleefully exclaimed how I was becoming a woman before his very eyes. And then I thought about how he never dated. I'd never put too much consideration into it before, but now that I was beginning to date, I wondered why he didn't. I thought it might be because of my mom. Although I only have vague memories of her, I still have pictures; of her and me, her and Dad at their wedding, the both of them together in college. She was a beautiful woman and, going by how highly my dad spoke of her, she must have been a wonderful person. So growing up, I tried to be just as good for my dad, as she was for him. I did everything for him, as my age would allow; making dinner, keeping the house neat and orderly, and doing the laundry. It was hard enough being a single parent, let alone one with a fulltime job, so I did my part to make life at home easier for him.

When I had my second date with this same boy a week later, I felt a twinge of regret at leaving my dad home alone. In fact, as the night wore on, I found myself wanting more and more to be at home with him. And by the end of the evening, I couldn't get in the house quick enough. I ran to my dad's study and burst in, while he sat his desk, working on a manuscript. He turned to me with a big smile, as I grinned, standing in the doorway breathing hard. Then he turned off his computer, stood, and walked me out to the kitchen where he got us two bowls of ice cream and asked me all about my evening. 

That night, when we went to bed, I was standing in my room about to crawl under the covers. I paused, and then walked out of my room and over to Dad's, knocking softly on his door. 

"C'mon in," he said.

I opened the door and found him sitting up in bed reading. He put a hand in his book and closed it, smiling at me.

"What's up?" he asked. 

I stepped in and asked if I could sleep in his bed. It had been quite a while since I had and seemed to take him by surprise, but he nodded and pulled back the covers. I grinned and hopped in next to him, and we sat there for a moment, both of us silent, and me grinning from ear to ear. 

"Whatcha readin'?" I asked.

"Oh, uh..." Then he held up the cover so I could see it. "Probably something you'd find boring," he said.

I craned my neck to get a closer look, and then curled my lip. 

"Yeah, probably," I replied. 

I sat there under the covers with my hands on my lap, not quite sure what to say, but happy all the same to be there with him. He finally glanced at me, saying, "So, uh... you mind if I...?" And he held up his book. 

"Nah, go ahead," I chirped. 

He gave me a warm smile and opened his book. 

From that night on, not every night, but on occasion, I asked if I could sleep in his bed. I'd done it for most of my life and, in a manner, missed the closeness. And now, in my naive way of looking at it, I was doing it because I didn't want him to be lonely. 

***

We moved two more times, before I finally graduated from high school. During those years, I managed to become a cheerleader. My dad wasn't much of a sports person, but he went to every game I was at. That is, every match - wrestling match. I was a cheerleader for the wrestling team at the school where I first became a cheerleader. It was during my freshman year and most of my sophomore. And then, of course, we moved again. But during my junior and senior year, I was able to become a football cheerleader. 

Even though I knew it was torture for him, my dad showed up to the games when he could. Sometimes he'd have work to do, papers to grade, something going on that would prevent him from coming. But, nine times out of ten, he was there in the stands. 

It was during my senior year, not long after I turned eighteen, that my dad had his first date since my mom's passing. He was at a home football game, just to come see me cheer, and some of the girls sitting on the bench with me saw me waving to him. They asked if he was my dad, and I nodded happily and gave him another wave. One of the girls remarked that he was attractive and another added the same sentiment. In a word, they referred to him as "hot!" I guess in the back of my mind, I'd always considered him handsome. And as I sat on the bench, everyone around me chattering loudly, yelling out words of encouragement to our team, I thought about what they'd said about him. I slowly turned and looked up in the stands. He saw me and smiled, giving me a little wave, and I grinned sheepishly and smiled back, then quickly turned away.

That was the first time I ever consciously thought of him in terms of his sexuality. I couldn't bring myself to refer to him as "hot", though he was certainly handsome. But I also knew I shouldn't be thinking about my own father like that. Still... I had to force myself not to turn and have another look. He may not have cared for sports, but he did take care of himself. He worked out in our garage all the time; as far back as I can remember. He jogged, had a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do, and even fenced in college. 

While I was thinking of him, someone shook my shoulder, bringing me out of my trance. It was one of the girls sitting next to me. The game had ended and everyone was walking off the field. Apparently we had lost. As we left the stadium, one of the girls asked if my dad was single. I laughed, saying something about how he was probably too old for her. She giggled, replying that her mom was single and she thought maybe he could ask her out. I considered it for a moment and thought it wasn't a bad idea, so she and I quickly arranged for them to meet in the parking lot, under the pretense of discussing our next cheerleading practice. 

I practically had to drag him with me to see my friend and her mom. He kept asking why it was so important and, when we were standing by their car, he figured it out. My friend and I introduced them, and then made an excuse to stand a few feet away, forcing our parents to converse, if only briefly. A few minutes later, we returned. They finished chatting, and my dad gently shook her mom's hand, and then we went to our car and drove home. 

"So, what'd ya think?" I asked happily - perhaps too happily.

He glanced at me from the corner of his eye and smirked.

"About the game, your cheering... or Janice?"

I furled my eyebrows. "Who's Janice?" 

My dad chuckled, replying, "Your friend's mom, ya doof. It was a little obvious what you two were up to back there."

Rather embarrassed, I tried not to grin and said, "Sooo... what'd ya think of her?"

He laughed again. "What'd I think? I think you need to be a little more subtle, that's what I think."

I reached over and poked his leg.

"No! C'mon, you know what I meant. Seriously, what'd ya think of her? Interested?"

He smiled broadly, as we turned into our driveway. 

"I dunno," he replied. "Maybe. You think I should ask her out, is that what this is all about?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. I guess it's up to you."

He shrugged, too, and turned off the headlights. "Ok," he said. "Maybe I will."

As we got out of the car, I don't know why, but I wasn't as happy about this as I knew I should be. 

***

A week later, Dad was in his bedroom getting ready for his big date with Janice, as I sat on the bed watching him put on a tie. He turned to face me and held out his hands.

"Well, how do I look? Presentable?"

I smiled. "Yeah," I said, trying to look happy for him. "Very handsome."

He grinned and walked over to his closet for a jacket. While he plucked through the hangers, I watched, thinking he was a fairly nice looking guy. And in that moment, in an instant, I felt the slightest hint of jealousy growing in my heart. Feeling a bit dejected, I pushed myself off the bed and walked out and down to the living room. A few minutes later, he came tromping down the steps and stood in front of me, as I sat on the couch. 

"Well," he said, adjusting his tie and looking in a mirror. "You know where we'll be. I dunno what time to tell you I'll be home. No later than... I dunno... midnight?"

He turned and glanced down at me. I looked back to the television and held up my hand. "Yeah, ok," I replied with a sigh. "I might be in bed." 

He gave me a funny look, saying, "Bed? On a Friday night?" 

I picked up the remote control and shrugged. "I'm tired," I lied. I wasn't tired. In fact, I was becoming more and more jealous of this other woman with each passing second. I just wanted this night to be over. 

He looked at his watch, and then came over and leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"See ya later, kiddo."

"Ok," I mumbled, as he walked to the door. "See ya."

He was standing with one foot out the door and looked back at me.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "Go have fun on your date."

I glanced at him, still aiming the remote at the television. He had a puzzled expression on his face, but grinned and closed the door with a wave. Then I lay back on the couch with a heavy sigh.

There wasn't anything interesting on television, which worked out well, because I wasn't interested in watching it. I tossed the remote off to the side and sighed again. I missed him already and it hadn't even been five minutes. I wondered if he ever felt the same way, whenever I went on a date. I stood and walked out to the kitchen to get a drink, and then went over to my dad's study to look for a book to read.

His walls were filled, top to bottom, with hundreds of books. Most were fiction, though a few non-fictions could be found here and there. I slowly walked around the room, letting my finger skip from the spine of one book to the next, finally landing on my mom's old college yearbook. I hadn't looked at it in a long time. The pages with his and mom's pictures were marked with little strips of paper so they could easily be found. I pulled it down from the shelf and flipped through it. My parents met in college, and this yearbook had their graduation pictures in it. She had a big circle drawn around my dad's with little hearts encircling it. I smiled, as I gazed at his picture, running my finger over it. Then I turned to the page with my mom's picture. She and I looked so much alike. Not exactly twins, but I did inherit some of her facial and physical features; her red hair was the most obvious. I definitely had her eyes; hazel with little dimples under them. And we both had a sprinkle of freckles around our noses. In another picture, she was standing with a group of people, members of a drama club. She was laughing and had her arm around a girl. My mom was wearing shorts and a t-shirt with a big peace symbol on it. She and I could have probably passed as sisters, if not mother and daughter. Sadly, I didn't appear to have inherited anything from my dad.

I looked at a few more pictures, and then carefully returned the book to its place on the shelf. 

In the bottom drawer of my dad's desk, he kept a box of family photos. I sat on the floor next to the drawer and pulled it open, and then fished out the box. 

I went through all the pictures from my childhood, mostly of me with my dad on birthdays, holidays, or just random pictures of us together. The more I looked at them, the more depressed I became. Why was I feeling like this? I should be happy he was finally out on a date, having a good time, being with someone more closely his own age. At the time, I didn't know why it bothered me, but it did. I wanted him home with me. 

I put the lid on the box and returned it to the drawer. I'd never snooped through his stuff, but now I began to wonder what else was in the drawers. I carefully pulled one open - just a stapler, a few pens, a little box of paperclips, index cards; nothing very interesting. In another drawer were two boxes of envelopes and some manila folders, printer paper, and a book of stamps. Then I pulled open the last drawer. It was full of random items: a dictionary, thesaurus, and a bag of pens. As I searched through it, I found a small white envelope. I reached in and carefully opened it. Inside were a handful of photographs. I plucked them out and fanned them in my hand. They were various pictures of me, from when I was very small to the present, the most recent being a few of me in my cheerleader uniform at the last football game not a week before. I smiled. Some of them I knew he had taken. He'd call my name and I'd turn just in time to see a bright flash. But my favorite picture was one of us standing together, our arms around each other, as we smiled for the camera. It was at a football game, and one of my friends took the picture for us. I removed this one from the rest and set it on his keyboard, leaning it against the monitor so it would stand upright where he could easily see it. Then I put the envelope back in the drawer and closed it. 

Out in the living room, I plopped down onto the couch and sighed. An hour had passed since he left. I tried to wile away the time by watching television, tried to watch a movie, but couldn't and finally forced myself up and went to the bathroom.

I turned on the water and filled the tub, resigning myself to a nice bubble bath. I took plenty of showers, but not many baths. As the tub filled, I chuckled, thinking the reason I didn't take baths was because my dad seemed to always get into the shower before me and used up most of the hot water. He didn't do it on purpose, but I would sometimes scold him for it. Now seemed a good time to take advantage of his absence. I poured some soap into the water and swished it around with my hand, lathering up the water until the surface was covered with a layer of white foam. Then I stood and undressed. As I watched the tub fill with water, I glanced into the bathroom mirror. My breasts weren't very big, small and poking out like soft white cones from my chest. My skin was very pale with a few freckles laced around my neck and shoulders, tapering off down my arms. My hair was in a ponytail, and I reached back, removing the rubber band, and shook my hair out. It stopped just below my neck. As I looked into the mirror again, I thought back to my mom's college pictures; we did look rather alike. 

When the tub was filled, I gingerly stepped into the hot water and eased myself down, letting my body get use to the heat. And when I was completely seated, I gently laid my head back and sighed, closing my eyes. After a minute or so, I let my hands roam across my body, rubbing the bubbles over my chest and arms. I smiled; it felt very relaxing. And then I began thinking of my dad, wondering what he was doing right at that moment. 

To me, he was the best dad in the whole world. He was kind and thoughtful, very sweet to me. Other girls my age probably would have taken advantage of his parental kindness, but I never did. I couldn't. He gave me so much love and respect, and I felt I owed him as much, if not more, in return. He never raised his voice to me and only spanked me once when I was very little. I was six years old and don't even remember what it was I had done. All he did was give me two swats on the butt. But he always said he felt bad about that, and I guess I behaved so as not to put him in that position again. 

As I lay in the warm water, my hands drifted up to my breasts. I gently massaged my nipples, feeling them harden under my fingers and began thinking of some of the guys I'd been on dates with. They were all nice to me and very cute. The most I'd ever done with a boy was kiss him. If they tried to bring a hand up to my breasts, I'd giggle and slowly push it away. And I was still a virgin. A lot of my friends weren't, having traded it in for a moment's worth of selfish pleasure. But I wanted to save myself for the right person; someone I was deeply in love with, someone who was as passionately in love with me, as I was with him. My hand drifted down from my breasts, down across my belly, and between my legs. I moaned softly. Then the vision of my dad suddenly appeared in my mind and my eyes shot open. I jerked my hand away and lay very still in the water for a moment. Far in the deep recesses of my mind, I could feel it trying to process what had just happened. I tried to ignore it and sat up, leaning forward to unplug the drain. Then I stood, as long sheets of bubbles slowly slid down my body, and turned on the shower to rinse. 

While I dried, I used the towel to wipe away the steam on the mirror and looked at myself. I was simultaneously thinking about how similar I looked to my mom and thinking I should pretty myself up for my dad when he came home. Then I quickly turned and went my bedroom to get ready for his arrival.




The Past in Colorado



Standing before my closet, I tapped a finger against my chin, trying to find something to wear. Usually I wore a t-shirt and sweatpants, unless it was summer, and then I wore shorts. I flipped through my hangers until I found what I was looking for: a purple nightie my dad had bought for me a few months before. I found it in a Victoria Secret catalog and had to beg him to let me buy it. He seemed unsure, saying he thought it might be a little much for someone my age. But I begged and pleaded and he finally relented, albeit with a great deal of apprehension. This would be only the second time I'd worn it. It wasn't very revealing at all - just a simple two-piece nightie. It was very tame, compared to everything else in the catalog, but looked plenty sexy all the same. 

I dropped the towel around my waist and slipped it over my body. Then I went to my mirror and worked my hair with a brush and blow dryer. The clock on my dresser said it was nearly quarter till eleven. He could be home any time, so I rushed along. When satisfied with my hair, I sat at my dresser and applied a tiny amount of makeup. I didn't care for it and rarely wore any, but thought if I was going this far, I might as well do it right and have some fun. No lipstick, however. I didn't want it to get on my pillow, when I went to bed. 

When I was ready, I stood and looked at myself in the mirror, my hands on my hips, turning from side to side. I grinned, thinking, damn, what man in his right mind could resist this! But my smile faded. The "man" in question was my dad. I turned and walked briskly out of my bedroom, turning off the light and going down to the living room to wait. As I sat there, my conscience was beginning to gnaw at me. I was doing this for my dad, but so what? I just wanted to look nice for him, I reasoned. My conscience tried to continue the debate, but I ignored it. I was in a good mood and wanted to keep it that way. 

I sat on the couch, pulling up my legs, and flipped through the channels. I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was a little past eleven. Just as I began to wonder when he was coming home, I saw headlights moving across the curtains of the living room window. It was my dad pulling into the driveway. My heart began to race. I shot upright and placed my hands on my thighs, fidgeting, trying to find a good pose. Then I heard the car door close. He'd be walking through the door any second. Frantically, I flopped around on the couch, quickly sampling one position after the next. The keys were in the door. I flopped some more and, when the door slowly opened, I was in the exact same position I had started in - leaning down against a pillow on the couch. I propped my head against my elbow and put on a happy face. Then he stepped inside and grinned when he saw me.

"Hey, still awake." 

I sat up and smiled, my heart thumping madly. 

When he turned from closing the door, he saw me in my nightie. My chest rose, as I took a deep breath. He fumbled with his keys for a moment, looking down at them, and hung them by the door. Jamming his hands in his pockets, he turned toward me. 

"Have a nice evening?" he asked. "Not too boring, I hope."

Still smiling nervously, I shook my head. "Nope," I replied. "Not too painful."

"Good, good," he chuckled.

I just knew he had to be wondering why I was dressed like this.

We were both silent. I hadn't thought about what I was going to do when he was actually home. He finally broke the silence and gestured to me, saying, "So... isn't that the, uh, lingerie you bought a while back?" I smiled and looked down my body, running a hand across my midsection and pressing the satin fabric against my chest. When my nipples poked out, I quickly pulled my hand away. I smiled timidly and nodded, beginning to feel embarrassed. 

"Um, yeah..."

I tried to think of something to say; some excuse for why I was wearing it. But I knew exactly why. My conscience had been reminding me from the moment I put it on. 

"Um... This is only the second time I've worn it," I replied sheepishly. 

I looked up to gauge his reaction. The little wrinkles around his eyes deepened, as he smiled.

His head slowly bobbed. "Well," he said. "Looks really nice."

I took a deep breath and grinned, my chest pushing out. But when I felt the tips of my breasts straining against the fabric again, I quickly sucked in my stomach. 

"So," I stuttered. "It, uh... it looks ok? You like it?" 

He shrugged. "Sure," he replied. "For what it cost, it better look good."

I giggled and rose from the couch. As I stood in front of him, I let my fingers pull out on the sides. 

"I dunno," I said, looking down at it, almost too embarrassed to make eye contact with him. "I was just thinking... I dunno... I took a bubble bath and just sorta felt like... wearing it, I guess."

I glanced at him and he smiled, his hands still in his pockets. He slowly nodded.

"Looks nice," he said. 

My grin twitched, at hearing that word again: just "nice". 

He hooked his thumb toward his bedroom, saying, "Gotta take my jacket off." Then he turned and went upstairs. 

I stood there for a minute staring down at the floor. The depression I had fought off all night was slowly returning. I looked up the steps, down the empty hallway toward his room, and could see the door open. Then I gazed down at what I was wearing. I felt like a dope. What in the world was I doing? I turned to the television, and then leaned over and picked up the remote, turning it off. Slowly I trudged to the stairs and, no sooner had I put my foot on the first step, then my dad appeared in the hallway above. He was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. As he approached the steps, he stopped and looked down at me. I tried to smile in reply, but my heart wasn't in it. I let my eyes drop and took another slow step up the stairs. Gazing down my body, I thought, "God, you're an idiot, Jessica."

As my dad came down the steps, he placed a hand on my shoulder, as he went to pass me. 

"Somethin' wrong?" he asked.

I forced a smile and looked up, shaking my head.

"Nope," I replied. 

He raised a disbelieving eyebrow. 

"I was just gonna change for bed," I said softly.

This time, he raised both eyebrows and nodded. "Oh... well, ok then."

As he continued on, I slowly raised my foot to the next step, and then heard him speaking to me from the hallway by the kitchen.

"Hey, Jessie?"

I stopped, staring down at the carpet, and said, "Yeah?"

"Well, come down where I can see, when I talk to you," he replied.

Sighing and wanting to put on my regular clothes, I grudgingly turned and stepped down, peering around the corner into the kitchen. Dad was opening a cabinet and pulled out a bowl. When he saw me, he turned and said, "You look really nice, sweetie. You're a very beautiful young lady." I forced another smile, knowing that was the sort of thing a parent was supposed to say. Then he pulled open the silverware drawer and reached in for a spoon. 

"Want some ice cream?" he asked, stepping over to the freezer. 

My head slowly wagged. 

He opened the freezer and reached in for the tub of ice cream. Holding it in his hand, he called over to me. I raised my eyes and he smiled big. "You're beautiful, no matter what you're wearing," he said warmly. 

"Thanks," I mumbled. 

He didn't seem to think my gratitude was convincing, so he took a deep breath and set the ice cream on the counter. He walked over and put his hand on my arm.

"I'm sorry," he said, gently squeezing my arm. "You're just as beautiful as your mom. Same eyes, same pretty red hair. It doesn't matter what you're wearing, ok?" Then he brushed the hair from my face. 

"You look very lovely," he said with a tender smile, and I felt the sour mood enveloping my heart slowly ebb. "Don't change, ok?" 

"Ok," I muttered. 

"Want some ice cream?"

I shrugged.

He grinned. "That a yes or no?" he asked. 

When I shrugged again, he wrapped his fingers around my arm and pulled me into the kitchen. As he went to get another bowl, I stood leaning against the counter.

"Dad?" 

When he looked at me, for an instant his eyes drifted down my body, down my legs and slowly back to my face. It seemed to be an unconscious reaction on his part, to seeing me standing dressed like that. A surge of adrenaline shot through my heart, as my hands fidgeted nervously.

"Can I just share yours?" I asked. "I don't want much."

He nodded and closed the cabinet. 

"Sure," he replied. 

We sat on the couch, side by side, with our legs crossed and knees touching. Every now and then, he'd hold out the spoon for me, as I leaned forward and took it into my mouth. By the time the bowl was empty, the depression that had tried to make a second assault was now firmly in retreat. I was feeling good - very good, very romantic. 

When we were both yawning, he helped me to my feet and gave me a soft smile. 

"You're a very beautiful young woman," he said, and I felt myself blush. "Ready for bed?" he asked. I nodded. "Alright," he said. "Let's go to bed, sleepy." 

The way he said that made my heart flutter. I followed behind him all the way upstairs, up to his bedroom. As he stepped into his doorway, he suddenly stopped and turned, causing me to nearly bump into him. Apparently he thought I was going to my room. Startled, we both took a step back. He gave me a curious grin, and I hesitated for hardly a second and gestured to his bedroom, mumbling, "I was gonna..." It seemed to take him by surprise. After all, I was eighteen years old and asking to sleep in the same bed. 

My dad's eyes roamed, as he thought about it. 

"Oh... ok," he replied, seemingly befuddled, and then turned and walked over to the bed. 

I knew the feelings welling up inside me for him weren't normal, but at another they felt right. They certainly didn't feel wrong. Perhaps in my mind they were, but not in my heart.

We crawled under the covers and, after a few minutes of lying in the dark, I turned and looked at him, as he faced away from me.

"Dad?" 

"Hmm?"

I smiled in the dark. 

"Thanks," I whispered.

He strained to look over his shoulder, thinking about what I'd said. And in the faint light, I saw him smile. 

"You're welcome," he replied. 

I leaned over and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. He grinned again, and then turned away and closed his eyes. I pulled the blankets up over us and curled up behind him. 

***

Over the next several weeks, I felt really good. I couldn't wait to come home and see him after school. I'd sit on the floor next to him, as he sat at his desk typing at his computer. I felt giddy, yapping about this and that and nothing in particular, content to be in his presence and happy with his genuine interest in hearing all about my day. 

He only had that one date with Janice, his reason being they didn't seem to click. I didn't care what his reasons were, only satisfied it didn't work out. And for my part, I began dating less and less, until one day, not long before my senior prom, my dad questioned me on this.

"Gotta date for the prom?" he asked, as he dumped the spaghetti from the pot into a strainer sitting in the sink. 

I was standing next to him watching. "Nope," came my curt reply.

He set down the pot and picked up the strainer, shaking it a few times, and gave me a puzzled expression.

"Why not? Didn't anyone ask you?"

I nodded. "Yeah, a couple guys asked." But then I shrugged. "I dunno... they just don't interest me, I guess." 

Dad chuckled and gestured to the cabinet. "Wanna get a couple plates?" I turned to retrieve them and came back, setting them aside one another on the counter. He used a big fork to dole out the long wet strands of spaghetti.

"Were you hoping for someone in particular?" he asked.

I shrugged again. "I dunno."

He smirked, replying, "Geesh, Jess, you don't sound real enthused about this."

I shrugged once more and said, "I am, I guess. I just don't know who I wanna go with."

He handed me a plate and we went to the dining room table to eat.

"Well," he said, jabbing a fork into the mound on his plate. "You better ask someone soon. The pickin's are gonna get awful thin."

I poked at my spaghetti with my fork, thinking quietly to myself. Then I had an idea. I looked at him, anxiously saying, "Dad?" 

He looked up, just as he pushed the fork into his mouth, and raised his eyebrows.

I smiled and said, "Ok... here's what I'm thinking." I laid my hands flat on the table and giggled nervously. He swallowed, and then asked what my idea was. "I've had three guys ask me to prom, ok? And I like them all, but my problem is, I'm friends with all three of them. I don't wanna take one and have the other two mad at me. Sooo..." And then I grinned meekly.

Dad raised a hand, as he held another load of spaghetti up to his mouth, replying, "So...?"

I giggled again. "So," I said. "I was wondering... and you don't have to, but I was wondering, if maybe you would like to take me... to prom." He stopped chewing for a second and stared at me. I was smiling from ear to ear. Then he blinked and slowly set his fork down and reached for a napkin, dabbing it against the corners of his mouth. He glanced at me, and then set the napkin down. Suddenly I was scared he might decline my offer.

"Well," he said, clearing his throat, and then reached for his glass of water. I watched, as he slowly raised the glass to his mouth. He seemed to be thinking about it, as he took a sip, and then set it down.

I leaned forward and bobbed my head a little, saying, "Well?"

He looked across the table at me and smiled. "Wouldn't that seem a little odd?" he asked. 

I furled my eyebrows, as if shocked he would think such a thing. "No," I replied. "Why should it be? I think it'd be fun. You've never danced with me, anyway. Plus, this way, they can't be mad at me... because I came with my dad. See how that works?" I wiggled my eyebrows and nodded happily.

He chuckled and pushed his fork into his spaghetti. "Oh, all right," he said, as if this was such a terrible bother to him. But he was smiling. I clapped my hands together gleefully and jumped from my chair and dashed around to give him a kiss on the cheek. As I sat back down, he was shaking his head, but still smiling. 

***

A few weeks later, I was in my bedroom getting ready for the dance, while he did likewise in his room. I hadn't let him see my prom dress and, in turn, I had no idea what he would wear. I assumed he'd rent a tuxedo.

I sat nervously in front of my mirror, making last minute adjustments to my hair and makeup. I pinned my hair back, leaving two long, curly strands to hang down in front of my ears. My dad had never really seen me all dolled up, so I wanted his first time to be special. I opened my jewelry box and pulled out a string of pearls, delicately lacing them around my neck, and looked in the mirror and smiled. Then I stood and took a few steps back so I could see my dress. It was white satin with puffy shoulders and a large billowing skirt. I giggled nervously, thinking how it almost looked like a wedding gown. Carefully, I then lifted the skirt to reveal my white low-heel shoes and sheer white stockings. There was one last item I needed to install. I stepped over to the dresser and opened my sock drawer. Reaching far in back, I pulled out a small box. Inside was a white and red garter. I took it from the box and stepped to the bed. Putting my foot on the mattress, I slipped the garter up my leg, halfway between my knee and hip. With everything in place and satisfied I was presentable to my date, I walked over to the bedroom door and slowly opened it. 

I peered out into the hallway. The door to my dad's room was wide open.

"Dad?" I called out. "You ready?"

"Yeah," he replied. He was downstairs waiting.

I opened the door and stepped into the hallway, holding my skirt up, as I made my way to the top of the steps. I stopped before reaching the stairs and said nervously, "You ready?" I saw my dad's head suddenly come into view down below. He could see my face, but nothing else. And when I grinned, he did likewise.

"Ready," he said.

My heart raced, as I took a step forward, letting myself come slowly into his field of view. When he saw me standing at the top of the stairs, he whistled.

"Good God, Jessie," he mumbled. "You look beautiful."

Hearing that put me on the verge of tears, but I wore a broad smile. Very carefully, I made my way down the steps, holding my skirt up high so as not to trip over it. And when I came within reach, my dad held his hand out. As I took it, he guided me down. When I was standing in front of him, I felt my face flush red with embarrassment. My teeth were showing, as I grinned, my eyebrows high. He held my hand out to the side and gazed at me.

"Thank you for asking me," he said softly. 

I giggled nervously, my teeth chattering – a strange quirk I have whenever I'm grossly nervous. 

"You're welcome," I squeaked.

He made no effort to hide his delight, letting his eyes roam up and down my body. God, I was nervous. And when our eyes met again, he smiled and held out a box to me. Inside was a red corsage. 

I gasped, having not thought of this moment. It didn't even dawn on me that he'd get one. He opened the box and pulled it out, stepping over to me. As he went to put it on my wrist, I asked him to pin it on instead. His eyes met mine and he smiled. "Ok," he replied and carefully, but cautiously, brought the corsage to rest just above my breast. I felt the tip of his finger slip under the fabric of my dress, as he pinned it to me. When it was firmly in place, he stepped back. 

"Looks a lot better there," he said. I felt so nervous; all I could do was giggle. "Matches your eyes," he said with a grin. My stomach muscles contracted, bending me slightly at the waist, as I fell into fit of nervous giggles. 

He took a few pictures of me in the living room, and then I took a couple of him. He had the tripod set up and put the camera on it, so we could get some of us standing together. In the last picture, I stood just in front of him, both of us looking at the camera. My hands were clasped together, hanging down in front, and then I wondered what his were doing. I looked and they were just hanging limp at his sides. I reached down and brought his hands to my waist and rested mine atop his. We smiled and there was a flash. 

As we walked to the car and were just about to get in, I stopped abruptly and cried out. 

He was about to open his door, when he asked what was wrong. 

"I forgot something!"

"What?"

I dashed to his side of the car and grabbed him by the arm, towing him back to the house. Inside, he questioned me again, as I walked over to a chair and placed my foot on the seat. He cocked his head, as if puzzled, and I snickered. I wiggled my finger for him to come closer. When he was standing next to me, I slowly hiked up the skirt on my raised leg to reveal my garter. As I worked my fingers on the fabric of my dress, I smiled at my dad. An anxious expression crossed his face, as he folded his arms, holding a hand to his mouth and trying to hide an embarrassed grin.

"Gotta do it, dad," I said menacingly.

He wiped his hand over his mouth and shook his head.

"Oh God," he groaned.

I chuckled.

With the garter in view, and nearly my entire leg exposed, he sighed and dropped his hands and stepped closer. Then, very carefully, he put his fingers around my thigh and grasped the garter. I pulled back on my skirt just a wee bit, so he could see I was wearing stockings. When the white strap of my stocking came into view, his hand paused for but the briefest second, and then resumed its descent. 

Deep in my mind, I couldn't believe I just teased me own father.





The Past in Colorado



When the garter was off my leg, he stood and twirled it around his finger. "I think it's a tradition or something," I said with a devious smile, brushing down my dress. He rolled his eyes and slipped the garter into the pocket of his jacket.

We pulled into the school parking lot and had a tough time finding a spot near the doors, but finally parked near the football stadium. I was just about to open my door, when he held up a hand, saying, "No, no. Let me. I'm the guy." I grinned and he added, "I think it's a tradition or something." I giggled and said ok. Then he came around to my side, opened the door, and held his hand out for me. I laid mine atop his and thanked him, as he helped me step out. Then he shut the door and we walked to the gymnasium, my arm in his. 

Several other couples were walking in with us, one of them a friend of mine. She had her arm through her date's, the same as I held my dad's, and she smiled and waved.

As we walked into the building, a teacher was there to greet everyone. He taught biology, but since I was a senior and he taught that to sophomores, I only knew him by name. He asked if we'd like to sign the register, and my dad seemed a little embarrassed at first, but leaned down, penning both our names. The teacher craned his neck down to look and he smiled. It was almost a smile of pity, as if taking my dad to prom was a sign of my inability to find a date. I wanted to grab him by the neck and tell him I had three offers, but turned them down in favor of my dad. Instead, I gave him a phony grin and we continued on to the gym. 

Inside, it was crowded. People were milling about, dancing, sitting and chatting. The music blared loudly. My dad leaned down close to my ear, saying, "I feel outa place here." I swatted his hand and pulled him closer. 

We walked around for a few minutes, as I waved to various classmates, stopped to talk for a moment with others, and then lead my dad over to the archway to have our picture taken. The photographer asked if I'd come with my dad, and once more I forced a smile and said yes. Then he ushered us under the arch and tried to pose us side by side; my dad with his hands behind his back and me with mine in front. As he returned to his camera, I muttered, "This pose sucks."

He chuckled, replying, "Have him change it then."

Just as the camera flashed, I held up a hand. Blinded, I blinked my eyes wide, while my dad rubbed his. The photographer didn't look happy about my sudden movement.

"What's that?" he sighed, putting a new photo plate in his camera.

"Um... can we try a different pose?"

"Sure," he muttered. "Just tell me when you're ready."

I turned to my dad and smiled.

"How ya wanna do this?" I asked. 

He shrugged. "I dunno. It's your prom."

I stepped up to him and giggled nervously, as I awkwardly put one arm around him. He held up both his, trying to figure out what I was doing.

"Ok," I said, trying to direct him. "Now you put your arm around me... No! Not on my shoulder! God, I'm your date, not your drinkin' buddy. Around my waist... yeah, like that... no! Dad, c'mon, work with me."

I finally stepped back, grabbed his hand and wrapped it tightly around my waist, as we clasped our other hands together in front. 

There was another flash.

Blinded once more, the photographer shuttled us out of the way, making room for the next couple in line. 

We ended up over by the buffet table next. 

"Care for something to drink?" he asked very gentlemanly. 

I smiled and nodded, and he poured us two glasses of punch.

"Thank you," I said, taking a sip. 

Now came the uncomfortable silence. As with my lingerie, I hadn't thought this far in advance. I just knew I wanted him to take me to prom, but hadn't thought about what would happen once we got there. Then my friend from the parking trotted over. She smiled when she saw me and held her arms.

"Oh gawd, Jess," she cried. "You look so beautiful!"

I hugged her and returned the compliment, and then she gestured with her eyes in my dad's direction. 

"Oh, uh... Becky, this is my dad. Dad, this is my friend Becky. We're in the same English class."

"And study hall," she laughed. "Oh, and lunch."

My dad smiled and held out his hand to her. 

"Very nice to meet you, Becky. I'm Stephen. You look very lovely this evening."

She giggled again, as she took his hand, replying, "Nice to meet you, too." 

We chatted for a moment, and then she invited us to sit with her and her date and another couple at their table. I looked at my dad and he smiled. 

"Sure," he said. 

I grabbed his hand and Becky took mine, leading us away. 

When we arrived, she introduced us, thankfully referring to my date as Stephen and not the mortifying "her dad". And since he and I didn't look anything alike, he could have easily passed as a legitimate, unrelated date. 

Dad helped with my chair, and then stepped over to help Becky with hers. As he went to have a seat, she smacked her date's arm and gave him a glare. 

"What?" he cried.

A conversation that had been put on hold was now resumed, and I jumped in when the opportunity afforded itself. We talked for what seemed a long time, but my dad sat only smiling, never complaining, and even refreshed the drinks of all three ladies present at the table. Becky and the other girl glared at their dates, as my dad walked away with their cups. 

We chatted some more, but I was starting to sense maybe it was making my dad uncomfortable. I glanced at him and he smiled. As I turned back to my friends, I reached under the table and softly placed my hand on his leg, giving it a gentle squeeze. I wasn't sure how he'd react, but a moment later, I felt him place his hand atop mine, squeezing in reply. As I sat and listened to my friends, a broad smile swept across my face. 

Then the moment I'd been hoping for finally arrived: a slow song. The two girls, still smarting from the lack of courtesy from their dates, reluctantly followed them to the dance floor. I turned to my dad and blushed. Glancing down at my hands in my lap, I stuttered and said, "Dad, would you..." But before I could finish, he stood and held out his hand. 

"Will you dance with me?" he asked.

My chest heaved, as I breathed in deeply. I took his hand and nodded, and then he led me to the dance floor, putting his hand around my waist and pulling me close.

As I grinned up at him, letting him sway me along in time with the music, I suddenly became conscious of his height. He was a good six inches taller than me and could look right down the front of my dress. I didn't have nearly huge breasts, being somewhat petite, but I had enough to have cleavage and he was getting an eyeful from his angle. And it didn't help that I was wearing a push-up bra. 

I looked away, my face flush with embarrassment. 

"Those pearls look nice on you," he said. 

I strained my eyes to see them on my neck. 

"I bought those for your mom when I took her to a dance," he said. "Just before I proposed to her."

I smiled up at him.

"They look just as nice on you," he said with a grin. 

I leaned my head against him and sighed softly. 

The remainder of the night followed along this simple theme. At one point, though, when a fast-paced song came on, he did pull me out onto the dance floor. I was pleasantly surprised to see that my dad, at the age of forty-one, could still cut a rug. 

When the festivities came to an end, we walked out to the car. I was happy, but, at the same time, a bit dejected that it had to end so soon. 

***

Dad helped me out of the car and held my hand, as we went into the house. We were standing just inside the doorway, as he hung up his keys. When he turned, I was standing in front of him, my hands hanging down and fingers interlaced. Then he stepped up, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"You looked beautiful tonight, Jessie."

Then he leaned down and softly kissed my forehead. I took a quick breath and thanked him, saying how handsome I thought he looked. He was about to walk away, when I reached a hand out for his. He stopped and turned to me. I looked up and went to speak, but hesitated. The wrinkles around his eyes deepened, as he grinned. Then, very quickly, I propped myself up on my toes and softly kissed him on the lips. I stepped back, staring down at my hands, and nervously whispered. "That was supposed to be for my date," I mumbled. "So... I guess you're supposed to have it now." He put his hand on my arm, and then leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

"Thank you," he whispered, and then gave me a warm smile and walked upstairs to his bedroom. 

I undressed in my room, while Dad did the same in his. I was wearing a white lace push-up bra with matching garter and stockings that I'd bought for my date. In fact, I'd planned on losing my virginity on the night of my senior prom. Unfortunately, I didn't find someone I felt deserved something that special.

Just as I was about to unclasp my bra, I stopped and looked at my door. I walked over to the closet and put on my robe, and then carefully opened the bedroom door. The hallway light was still on and the door to my dad's room was open a crack. I tiptoed over and knocked softly, peering inside. My dad was sitting in bed reading. 

When he saw me, he slipped a hand inside the book and closed it, saying hi. Only the small reading lamp next to his bed lit the room. My heart began pounding, as I licked my lips and jammed my hands deep in the pockets of my robe, slowly walking in and stopping at the foot of the bed.

He stared at me for a moment, and then finally asked if I had a nice evening. I nodded, and then looked to him and stuttered, "Dad... c-can I show you... something?"

He adjusted himself, as he leaned back against his pillow, and smiled. "Sure," he said. My knees were trembling, as I slowly stepped around to his side of the bed. My trembling hands came out and I hooked my fingers into the belt of my robe.

"I... I d-don't want you... to freak out, ok?" I whispered.

He smiled, but gave me a puzzled look. "Ok... I won't."

"P-promise?"

He squinted his eyes and slowly nodded, wondering what I was up to. 

"Ok," I said. I licked my lips again and swallowed, saying, "I got this for my date... for the guy who was supposed to be my date... but, I uh... I guess that ended up being you... but I didn't know it was gonna be you... ok?"

He nodded once more and quietly asked if I was all right. My head jittered up and down nervously, and then I slowly pulled my belt loose. I lifted my eyes to his, and he gave me a curious smile, but then looked down at my hands. I let the belt fall apart and brought my hands up to my collar and slowly pulled open the robe, letting it fall down my shoulders where it hooked onto my elbows. I stood before him in my negligee, my hands shaking and held up just high enough to keep my robe from falling to the floor. Then I swallowed hard and looked up at him. I felt like I was going to throw up.

Dad seemed to be staring right through me, as if in a deep trance. There was no expression on his face. My eyes drifted down my body. My breasts, pushed up as they were, jiggled as my body trembled. 

"W-well?" I asked, my voice cracking. 

He sat staring blankly at me. 

"Dad...?"

Then he took his glasses off and carefully set them and his book on the nightstand. He swung his feet to the floor and stepped over to me, carefully bringing my robe up my shoulders and tying it shut. With his hand still on the belt, he put a finger under my chin and lifted my eyes to his.

"You're a beautiful young woman, Jessica," he whispered. 

I felt like crying for humiliating him like this. 

"Thank you," I replied with a whimper.

"You oughta get to bed," he said. 

I nodded and turned to walk away, but stopped and glanced over my shoulder.

"Dad... I love you... you're very handsome." 

And then I quickly walked to my bedroom and shut the door. Inside, I fought back the tears and took off my robe. I looked at myself in the mirror and sniffled, and then removed the negligee, placing it in my dresser drawer and silently vowing never to wear it again. 

In the middle of the night, I awoke to go to the bathroom. My dad's door was still open, and when I came back down the hall to my room, I peeked inside his. The light was out and he was sound asleep. Wearing only panties and my robe, I quietly entered his room and slipped into bed next to him. I lay facing him for a while, and then closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. 

***

The next morning, I awoke to sunlight flooding through the open windows. Still groggy, I slowly sat up, shading my eyes from the bright light. The bedroom door was closed, and I glanced to my dad's side of the bed. He was gone.

With much effort, I flung my feet to the floor and looked down my body. My robe had come untied during the night and my bare chest was exposed. And then memories from the night before slowly drifted back to haunt me. My eyes fluttered and I grunted, wagging my head in disgust and cinching my robe closed. I stood from the bed, mumbling, "God, probably saw my tits." Then I trudged to the bathroom. Inside, I took off my robe and panties and turned on the shower. Outside in the backyard, I heard the lawnmower start. I peeked out the window and saw my dad pushing it around the yard. Then I went back to the shower and stepped inside. 

A short time later, I was in my bedroom, standing at the closet naked and trying to decide what to wear. There was then a soft knock at my door - my open door. Before I could react, my dad poked his head inside, saying, "Hey Jess, you know where the..." And then our eyes met and went wide. We were both mortified, as he looked me up and down and I gulped. Then he quickly pulled away and shut the door. It all happened very fast. 

"Sorry!" he called from the hallway. 

Utterly stunned, I clasped a hand to my chest, breathing hard. My dad had just seen me naked. Worse yet, he checked me out. Or so I thought. I gasped nervously, and fell back onto the corner of my bed. 

"It's.... it's ok," I yelled back.

I looked down at myself, at my naked body, and sighed. As incredible, or idiotic, as it may seem, when I saw my bright orange pubic hair, my first thought was, "God, I really need to trim that up." Then I chuckled and fell flat on my back, my heart still racing wildly. 

A few minutes later, I walked downstairs – this time, fully dressed.

"Dad?"

Outside, I heard the lawnmower start up again. I had butterflies in my stomach, as I walked to the backdoor leading out to the patio. Through the sliding glass door, I saw him pushing the mower. He finished one row and, as he turned, happened to look in my direction. I giggled and stuck out my tongue. There was a moment of hesitation, as he lifted a hand and waved, then continued on his way, shaking his head, likely from embarrassment.

Half an hour later, I heard the mower stop. When he didn't come inside right away, I walked out the back door and found him pushing the lawnmower into the garage. I walked down the steps in my bare feet, my arms folded, and headed toward the garage. As I stood in the doorway, he placed the mower behind our bikes, and then turned in my direction. I leaned against the door and give him a knowing smile. When he saw me, he stopped and brushed his hands together with an anxious chuckle. He tried to grin and mumbled, "I, uh..." But he was clearly uncomfortable with what had happened, and said, "Sorry 'bout that."

I smirked, replying, "What were you gonna ask me?"

Then his demeanor changed dramatically, obviously an attempt to bring things back to a normal plane, and said, looking back at the mower, "Oh, I was just wondering if you knew where the oil for that thing was. I found it." As he walked past me toward the house, he patted my shoulder. I gave him a pretend glare and came up behind and smacked him on the behind. He yelped and gave me look of surprise. 

"Bad boy," I grumbled, still pretending to be mad at him. But the truth is, I was the bad person here. What he did was an honest mistake, an accident. What I did the night before had purpose and intent behind it, only I was too ashamed to admit as much.

In the kitchen, I made us sandwiches for lunch. Dad walked in and took two glasses from the cupboard and asked if I wanted something to drink. I smiled and nodded. After he poured the drinks, he came over and set mine on the counter next to me. Then I heard a slight sigh from him.

"I'm really sorry about what happened earlier," he said. "I, uh... I shoulda knocked and waited for an answer."

I was cutting our sandwiches in half and paused. I shrugged, saying it was ok, and then quietly apologized for what I did the night before. He was taking a drink and set his glass down, resting a hand on my shoulder. 

"Nah," he said. "Don't have to apologize. It was your special night."

I glanced at him and smiled. Dad squeezed my shoulder, and then turned to go out to the living room. But then he stopped in the doorway and looked over at me.

"Say, uh... Jess?"

I set the knife in the sink and looked to him.

He was standing slightly sideways, like he didn't want to face me directly.

"You looked, uh... very beautiful... last night."

I took a deep breath and smiled, as he glanced at me. "Thanks," I mumbled.

He stood there for a moment, staring at the glass he held, and after a short pause said, "I want you to promise me something, sweetheart."

"Sure... ok."

Then I watched his chest rise, as he inhaled. He looked right at me and said, "Jess... I want you to save yourself for someone special, ok?"

My heart leapt into my throat, and I nodded quickly, replying, "Yeah... ok. I will. Promise."

His face relaxed and he slowly nodded, and then walked out to the living room. 

***

For the next few weeks, there seemed to be a lurking tension between us. Nothing that left you feeling bad or awkward, rather it was something unacknowledged, something we both knew existed, but tried to ignore. We went on with life as usual, but this strange feeling remained haunting in the background. I spent many long hours thinking about it; thinking about my dad and the feelings I had for him. I knew it was wrong, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why. Why was it wrong to love him? But more specifically, why was it wrong to be in love with him? And that's what it was: a romantic inclination I was developing for him. At first I thought it was merely a phase, something I'd get over in short order, but it had been slowly growing over the last few years. In fact, it seemed to have always been there, only now coming to fruition where I could recognize it for what it was. When I went out on dates, I always felt awful about leaving him behind, for not being with him instead. He went on two more dates with other women, after the one with Janice, and all three times I felt nothing but sadness and jealousy. And when he came home, I was practically all over him; talking with him, talking about anything other than his date, subconsciously reminding him of me - of what he already had at home. I didn't even think of him in terms of sexuality. Sure, I thought he was a nice looking man and, judging by the remarks of my friends, they seemed to think so, as well. But it was more than that. I admit to being attracted to him, but it wasn't something of a solely sexual nature. I was becoming greatly attracted to him on an emotional level. Everything about him seemed perfect to me. He was kind and generous, thoughtful and courteous. He was interesting to talk to and fun to be around. I enjoyed his company tremendously and looked forward to being alone with him every day. Even if all we did was rent a movie and order pizza, I was happy as could be, sitting next to him on the couch and sharing the last breadstick. I felt bad when other teens my age talked ill of their parents. I simply couldn't, because I had no reason. What was there to complain about? In my eyes, he was perfect.




The Past in Colorado



What I finally admitted was not that I was falling in love with my dad, but that I was already there. I was in love with him and had been for some time, only now willing to accept it for what it was. I also knew I wanted to stay along the course I was heading. It was definitely thin ice I tread, going into uncharted, perhaps even dangerous, territory. In the end, I feared my actions might destroy our relationship. But the feelings I had for him were strong and persistent, gathering strength with each passing day. The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to be with him, and the more courage I mustered to continue onward.

***

After I graduated from high school, I spent the first few weeks of summer sitting around at home with little to do. Every day, I'd head into town to meet Dad at his office on campus for lunch where he was an associate professor of English at the university. Sometimes we'd walk downtown to an outdoor cafe and other times I'd bring us something to eat. And he was always happy to see me. I'd put my arm through his and we'd casually stroll down the sidewalk talking. Then one day, while sitting on a bench outside his building, he asked if I decided on a college to attend. I shoved the remains of a bagel into my mouth and nodded.

"What'd ya decide?" he asked. 

As I chewed, I pointed my finger downward. 

"Here?" he asked. 

With my cheeks bulging, I nodded and tried to smile. 

"Thought about a major?" he asked. 

I swallowed, nodding once more, and took a sip of my soda. Then I smacked my lips, replying happily, "English."

Dad grinned and put his arm around me.

"Now why would you pick that?"

I took another drink and shrugged. 

"Lemme guess," he said. He brought a hand to his chin and affected a look of careful consideration. "Would I have anything to do with it?" he asked.

I nearly choked when he said that. I hadn't actually thought of that as my reasoning, but in a way, he was right. I had to admit it. Choosing English as my major would bring me into closer contact with him. But I also picked it, as it was something in which I had a genuine interest. After all, our house was filled to capacity with books, and when you're the only child in a single-parent household, sometimes your best friend is a good book. But I didn't want my dad to know any of this. 

"You want me to pick something else?" I muttered.

He hugged his arm around me and chuckled. "No, no," he replied. "It's a good major. I think you'll enjoy it. Plus I'll get to see you more, huh?"

I leaned against him and smiled.

"Been thinking where you wanna go on vacation?" he asked.

Every summer, come hell or high water, we always went on vacation, and he always let me choose the destination - within reason, of course. 

"Let's go back to Colorado," I replied. "That was fun. We could go whitewater rafting again, camp out in the Rockies. That was a lotta fun."

He crossed one leg over the other and nodded. "Yep, ok," he said. "Sounds good."

We talked for a while longer, and then strolled back to his office. I was in such a blissful mood, as I held his hand on that sunny day, swinging our entwined fingers. 

***

Over the next month, I filled out all the requisite paperwork to become a student at the university. I also worked out an itinerary for a weeklong vacation to Colorado. This would also be the time that I, for lack of a better way of putting it, would make a move on him. Not necessarily in a sexual way, although the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to. What I wanted was to advance the relationship we shared. And, being so far from home, we would be forced to deal with it; unable to simply walk away and pretend like it didn't happen. This vacation would be the turning point, one way or another. I was scared, unsure of what would happen, but felt an instinctual determination to take the next step.

In the meantime, I continued to take little steps in that direction. I'd meet him for lunch and hold his hand whenever I could. If he put his arm around me, whether we were sitting or standing, I'd move a little closer. And I spent less time in my bedroom and more in his. I made every effort to be with him, to let him I know I was there for him.

***

One night as he sat in bed reading, I was sitting on the edge of his bed brushing my hair. I was looking in the direction of his dresser and had an idea. Without looking, I asked if I could keep a few things in one of his drawers. There was a momentary pause before he answered. 

"Well," he said. "I guess that'd be ok. How come?" 

I continued to slowly brush my hair and shrugged. "I dunno," I replied meekly. "Guess I'm just in here enough, it'd be nice to have some socks and stuff more handy." 

Socks. That's not what I had in mind to put in there. 

"Ok," he said. I slowly turned to look at him. He smiled, adding, "Just pick a drawer, I guess. You can move around whatever you need."

I grinned. "Thanks," I replied. 

The next day, while he was at work, I opened his top dresser drawer. It was filled with socks, t-shirts, and boxer shorts. I put my hands inside and carefully pushed everything a few inches to the left, trying to create enough empty space on the right for my stuff. I wasn't sure what I could remove from his drawer in order to create more room, so I settled for the eight or nine inches I was able to scrounge. Then I went to my bedroom, opened my top drawer, and picked out a few items. 

Socks, a couple t-shirts... then I thought about my panties and bras. Then I thought about my lingerie. The lingerie might be going too far, so I settled for socks and t-shirts, a few panties and bras. Surely he'd see these. I picked out the items and carried them to Dad's room, and, one by one, arranged them in their new home. Socks in back, t-shirts on the bottom, panties and bras on top - where he couldn't miss them. 

Satisfied that everything was in place, I closed the drawer and went to meet him for lunch.

That night, as he laid in bed reading, I crawled under the covers next to him, and he asked if I had enough room for my stuff. I rolled over, my face planted against the pillow, and smiled up at him. "Yep," I replied. He turned his eyes to mine and smiled. "Unless you wanna gimme an entire drawer," I happily suggested, wiggling my eyebrows up and down. Dad went back to reading his book and chuckled. But then he took me by surprise. 

"Yeah, sure," he replied. "Just make sure you put my things where I can find them again." 

Elated, I reached out under the blanket and gripped his leg. My hand landed on his hip, my fingers not a few inches from his groin. Startled, he looked down at me and smiled fitfully. I grinned and thanked him once more.

Then next day, I awoke about an hour after he left for work. I swung my legs onto the floor and hopped over to the dresser and pulled open the drawer. A smile crept across my face: he'd been in there that morning. Some of his socks and boxers had been moved around. There was no doubt about it - he'd seen my panties and bra. 

I ran to my bedroom and pulled out some more panties and bras and socks, and then hauled them to his room. For the next half hour, I tried rearranging things in his top drawer so that everything would fit. In the end, the left half was his and the right mine.

That night, as he sat in bed reading, I walked to his bedroom door and softly knocked. I peeked inside and Dad smiled, waving me inside. As I closed the door behind me, he said, "Ya know, you don't have to knock. Just come on in." I stood at the side of the bed and giggled nervously. 

"Ok," I whispered. 

He went back to his book, as I held my hairbrush in my hand.

"Dad?"

He turned to me.

I held up the brush and timidly asked if I could keep it in his bedroom. He nodded and returned to his book. I went to the dresser and slowly opened the drawer with my clothes in it. There was a mirror on the dresser, and I could see him sitting on the bed behind me. I gazed down into the drawer, running a trembling hand over my bras and panties. Well, I thought, this is it. If I'm going to move into his room, I might as well take full advantage of it. My lips formed into a tight circle, as I breathed in and out, and then I grasped the bottom of my t-shirt and pulled it over my head. I was too scared to lift my eyes and look into the mirror to see if he was watching. I carefully folded my shirt and set it on the dresser, and then reached back to unclasp my bra. I let it fall down my arms and quickly folded it, placing it in the drawer with the others. Curiosity got the better of me and I carefully raised an eyebrow, looking into the mirror. He was still reading. Feeling relieved, but also a bit disappointed, I suddenly put my hands over my breasts and turned slightly in his direction.

"Dad?" I said nervously. 

He didn't look up, only nodding his head. "Hmm?" he mumbled.

Subconsciously, I was thinking, "Look at me, damnit!" But then I thought, wait - what am I going to say? Once again, I hadn't planned that far ahead. As I frantically searched for something to ask, he looked in my direction. When our eyes met, he seemed alarmed. I could feel my face burning red and glanced nervously down at my hands covering my breasts. 

"I, uh..."

Think, damnit!

He was staring at, stunned or mesmerized – I had no idea. Only my hands covered my otherwise nude torso. I wasn't quite facing him, but he could definitely see that I was naked from the waist up.

"Do you, uh... do you think maybe I could.... Could I get something to drink? You want something to drink? I was just thinking, I'm thirsty and was gonna go get a drink. You want one?"

I winced. That sounded stupid. Especially given that I was standing there in front of him with my hands covering my breasts. It was a very surreal scene.

"Uh, yeah," he mumbled. "That'd be, uh... fine."

I smiled and quickly turned back to the dresser, releasing my breasts and resting my hands on the drawer. I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to control my breathing. "Jesus, what're you doing?" I thought. When I opened my eyes, I was looking directly at the mirror and saw my dad's head turn back to his book. My heart skipped a beat. He could see my breasts in the mirror. I snatched a t-shirt from the drawer and pulled it over my head. 

"I'll be right back," I said. 

Dad glanced at me, but didn't smile right away. Instead he gave me an odd expression, one I hadn't seen before and it frightened me. He didn't appear angry or upset, just surprised, uneasy. 

"Ok," he replied. 

***

Over the course of the next few weeks, before we left for our vacation, I gathered more courage to do little things like this around him. I wanted him to become comfortable around me, even seeing me at least partially nude. Some might say I was trying to seduce him, and on a subconscious level, perhaps that accounted for some of my motivation. But I convinced myself that I was attempting to make it easier for us to live together. Although I accepted that contrivance, I also knew there were ulterior motives that were less than exemplary.

I did these things in an attempt to deepen the bond between us, not really caring how it happened. At times, my conscious would pipe in and question my motives, but I tried to pass it off as innocent, knowing this wasn't entirely true. I knew what I was doing and why, even if I was reluctant to accept it. 

When I visited him over the noon hour, I went from merely holding his hand, to putting my arm around his waist. If we were sitting on the couch watching a movie, I'd lean against him or hold his hand whenever I could. Sometimes I'd leave my bedroom door open a little, as I changed clothes, and eventually left it wide open, even if he wasn't around. I talked to him about what he was doing for his classes and which I should take come fall. I engaged him in conversation, trying to make an honest effort to get to know him as another adult, a friend, and not simply as my father. And the wonderful thing is I didn't have to force myself to do any of this. I was genuinely interested in getting to know him better, and the more I learned, the happier I became with my decision to continue along this path. And for his part, he actively engaged me in conversation, as well. He seemed as interested in me, as I was in him, and this served to embolden my determination to press forward. 

***

One afternoon, I was online from home and saw him log into the university's BBS from his office. Just as I sent him a message, one from him popped up on my screen.

Me: Hey daddy!!! Him: How's your day? Me: Hi *smooch* I'm fine. How's your day going? Him: So-so. Just updating my health insurance here. I keep putting it off. Me: Sounds fun. Is something wrong with your health? Him: No, but you're 18 now and if I want to keep you on my policy, I have to update this thing. Me: Do you want to keep me on your policy? Him: Yes Me: You don't have to if you don't want to. Him: No, that's fine. Me: Just "fine"?! *glares at him* Him: Ok Ok! It fills my heart with joy to have you on my health insurance policy! Happy now? Me: A little happier... I guess! Him: How much do you weigh? Me: God, dad! That's kind of personal! Want my bra size, too? :P Him: Weight will do. I have to fill it in here. Me: I see. 114lbs. Him: How tall are you? 5'6"? Me: 5'5" Him: Smoke or drink? Me: Gross! No! You know that. Him: Just checking. God only knows what you do when I'm not home to keep an eye on you. Me: Oh right! I think it's the other way around! Me: 34b Him: "You sank my battleship!" What's that? Him: Never mind. Me: What? You asked! Him: No I didn't. Me: Oh. Well, now you know. But you probably could have guessed it, anyway. Him: How on earth do you figure that?? Me: You've seen them! Duh! Him: *rolls eyes* Jess, that was an accident. Me: Hey, speaking of my boobs, want to know what I got today for our vacation? Him: What's that? Me: I bought a new bikini! :D Him: What you mean, dear, is - you bought it, but I paid for it, right? Me: No! I didn't use ANY of your money. :P Smartalec! Him: That must be a first. How much was it? Me: Too much, but I think it looks nice. Want to see it when you get home? We should get you something. Him: I don't think I need a bikini, but thanks. Me: You want to see it? Him: Ok Me: That's not very enthusiastic! I tried to find something nice for you, mister! Him: *rolls eyes* Me: What?! I'll just take it back then. Fine. Sorry to be a bother. Him: Oh Jess, come on. I was just kidding. Of course I want to see it. Me: You sure you want me to model it for you? Him: Yes, sweetie, I'm sure. Me: *swoons!* Yea!!! :D Him: You're silly. :) Me: Yeah, but you love me all the same! Him: True Me: I love you, too. Him: I love you more. Me: No way! :P I love you a BUNCH more! Him: Nuh uh! I love you more than a bunch more! Me: I love you ten times ten more than a bunch more! Him: *scratches head* Is that possible? Me: Of course it is!!! *jumps in his arms and smooches him* Him: Ah! Ok, if you say so, lady! *is smothered in smooches* Me: I'm IN love with you, so there!!! 

Oh crap! Did I just say I was in love with him? There was a brief moment of silence. My words just came out of their own volition. I thought fast and tried to bring the conversation back to a normal level, before he could think too much about what I just said.

Me: What time are you coming home? Him: Same as always I guess. About 5:30. Me: Still want to see my new bikini? Him: Yes Me: Okey dokey, Pokey! I'll have some dinner ready when you get here! See you then! *smooch*

I waited a moment for a reply, and then, just as I was about to log out, a message popped up on the screen from him. I caught but the briefest glimpse of it, before it disappeared. 

Him: I love you, too, sweetheart. *hugs* ... *kiss*

I sat staring at the monitor for a long time. He kissed me. Well, sort of. Any other time, he'd say "*hugs & kisses*", but this time it was a simple "*kiss*" all by itself. Maybe I was reading more into it than I should, but it made my heart soar, nonetheless. 

When he arrived home that evening, I was in the kitchen fixing dinner. I walked out to the living room to greet him, giving him a hug. As he set his briefcase down, I stepped back smiling, my hands in the back pockets of my shorts. 

"Wanna see it?" I asked, grinning nervously.

"What's that?" he replied.

With trembling knees, I swiped a sweaty hand across my mouth, saying my new bikini. He pursed his lips and nodded.

"Well, uh... sure. Ok," he said.

I had him sit on the couch, as I stood in the middle of the living room. He held up his hands, saying, "Um... Ok, where is it? You gonna go get it?" 

I chuckled nervously, replying, "I, uh... I got it on. I told you I'd model it for you."

The smile on his face slowly waned. "Oh," he said. "Alright then."

I breathed in and held my breath, as I put my hands at the bottom of my t-shirt and, in one swift motion, pulled it over my head. His eyes drifted down my chest to the two small red triangles of thin fabric covering my breasts. Dropping my shirt to the floor and trying to mask my anxiety, I said, "I thought red would, uh... I dunno... match my hair better." He slowly nodded. Then I brought my hands to my shorts and carefully unzipped them, keeping my eyes down, too embarrassed to look him in the face. 

I couldn't believe I was actually doing this, but at the same was pleased that I'd been able to muster the courage. I knew I was really pushing the envelope, and I could scarcely believe I was doing something so tawdry, so out of character, but my blind, naive courage drove me forward.

Wiggling out of my shorts, I let them fall to the floor, and then stood straight and stepped out of them. I placed my hands on my hips and tried to affect a decent pose, silently hoping he wouldn't notice my wobbling knees. 

"So... what do ya think?" I asked skittishly. 

Dad took a deep breath and softly clapped his hands to his knees, slowly bobbing his chin and staring at my body. It was obvious he was uncomfortable with my callow performance, and I began having regrets, as a sense of shame fell over me. Now I simply wanted it to end.

"That's, uh... That's really nice. Looks good," he replied. 

"Seems like a good fit," I added tensely, clearing my throat. 

I stood motionless, letting my image burn into his mind, but after a few seconds, bent down and stepped into my shorts. As I put on my t-shirt, I asked for his final opinion, not that I cared any longer. I just wanted to bring an end to this childish display. He rubbed his hands on his knees, replying, "Yeah, ya know... It, uh, looks good. I'm sure you'll turn a few heads." Then he gave me a silly wink and looked over toward the kitchen. "Somethin' burning?" he asked.

I sniffed the air. "Oh crap!" I exclaimed.

Fortunately, none of the food was too damaged. 

***

As we ate in the dining room, we talked about work and school and our last visit to Colorado a few years back. My dad suggested we get an air mattress to bring along, seeing as how last time we simply rolled our sleeping bags onto the hard floor of our tent. As he took a drink, he said, "I must be gettin' old. My back can't take lying on the ground like that any more." 

"Yeah," I replied sarcastically. "You're really old for only being forty-one." 

He grinned, saying, "Well, you make me feel younger." I stopped chewing and stared at him. Then I slowly swallowed and smiled back. My heart skipped a beat. As he ate and talked about what we could do in Colorado, my mind was stuck repeating those words he just said to me. I sat there watching him, listening to him, but not hearing anything else. That was the moment I first consciously admitted to myself that I was falling deeply in love with my dad. 





The Past in Colorado



For the remainder of the evening, I had bells on my toes. As he helped me wash dishes, we'd playfully bump our hips together, standing side by side at the sink, talking and laughing. Later, as I sat on the couch next to him and leaned against his shoulder, I felt as though I had never been so happy in all my life. 

***

For the next few days, we continued along like this. I held his hand whenever I could, taking advantage of every opportunity to make physical contact. Perhaps the happiest moment was when we were walking downtown. His arm was draped over my shoulder while I held mine around his waist, hugging him close. I felt like a couple in love. But two things still nagged at the back of my mind: how he felt about me, and the knowledge that this was my father. Nothing we were doing could be seen as overtly sexual in nature, considering our relationship. There was nothing wrong with holding my dad's hand, hugging him, or even showing him a new bikini. On the other hand, taking into consideration all of these tiny moments, these little acts of playful touching, the frequency at which they occurred, and the motivation behind them, it could only lead a rational person to one conclusion. 

I desperately wanted to know how he felt about me, how he felt about what was happening, but I was too scared to ask him. I felt if I did, it might shatter what I had built thus far. So instead, I bided my time, staying on this path to see how far I could take him, before it all became too obvious where it was leading. And I wanted that time to occur during our vacation.

Two days before we were to leave, I came into his bedroom one evening and shut the door. As usual, he was sitting in bed reading. When I walked in he smiled, and then returned to his book. I was wearing my robe, having just come from taking a shower. I stepped to his closet, placing my hands on the belt of my robe, and glanced over at him. His nose was still buried in his book. Then I took a nervous breath and cautiously removed my robe, hanging it in the closet. I was completely naked. I made another glance in his direction, but he wasn't looking. I turned and went to his dresser and opened the top drawer containing my undergarments. Slowly, I opened it and pulled out a bra and panties, setting them atop the dresser, and closed the drawer. With my back to him, I picked up the panties and, using the cover of darkness on my side of the room, very carefully turned my eyes to the mirror. He was watching. My heart pounded and my hands shook, as I leaned over and stepped into them. I glanced in the mirror again and he was still watching me. Then I reached for my bra. As I was putting it on, I inadvertently lifted my face to the mirror. Our eyes met. My lips twitched and teeth chattered, as I tried to return a casual grin. He didn't look away, only giving me an unsettling smile in reply. When my bra was clasped, I turned and walked over to the bed, nearly in a cold sweat. Dad watched the entire time. 

When I was under the covers, I reached for my clock to set the alarm.

"Watcha readin'?" I asked, trying to keep things normal.

"Oh, uh..." He held his book up so I could see the cover. I looked over my shoulder and chuckled, as I set the clock on the nightstand next to me.

"Thought you didn't like him?" I said.

Dad shrugged, saying, "Yeah, well... Sometimes it doesn't hurt to give it a try. I'd only read one of his books. Figured I didn't give him a, uh... fair shake."

He was clearly as nervous as myself.

"Like it?" I asked.

Before he could answer, I rolled over so I was facing him. The blankets came up to my waist, and my breasts were clearly visible through the sheer fabric of my bra. Dad's eyes darted down to my chest, then to the book in his hands. 

"Yeah, ya know, uh... it's not too bad."

We chatted for a minute or so, and then I let him go back to his book. What I feared throughout all of this was reaching the point of overdose. I wanted that to happen in Colorado, where Dad would either have a talk with me about my behavior or say nothing at all. But so far, so good. He hadn't said anything, and I wondered if he had any idea what I was doing. He had to. He wasn't an idiot by any means. Therein I found a scant amount of comfort, and perhaps some insight into what was going on in his mind. After all, I reasoned, if he's not stupid, then he knows what I'm doing, and if he knows what I'm doing and isn't saying anything about it, then he must not disapprove.

***

The next day he went to campus for the morning to take care of a few things, before we left for Colorado. In the afternoon we did some last minute shopping for a few items, in particular an air mattress for him. I really hadn't thought that an air mattress could play a part in bringing us closer together, but it worked out as such. There are two basic types: single and double. Dad and I stood in the store looking at both kinds on the shelf. He pulled out a box containing a single.

My eyebrows furled and I folded my arms, saying, "And what do ya think I'm gonna sleep on?"

This was no longer about any indecent feelings I had for him. Now it was about physical comfort. If he didn't have to sleep on the hard ground, I didn't see any reason why I should. 

He looked at me and shrugged, saying I could get one, as well. I rolled my eyes and pointed to the price tag on the box he held.

"It's cheaper to get a double than two singles," I grunted, which was true enough, even if it did conveniently play into my overlying intentions. 

"Ok," he mumbled, replacing the box on the shelf and taking a double. 

As we walked off to pay for it, I put my arm around him and, without even thinking, blurted out, "God, you'd think you didn't like sleeping next to me or something." Just as the words left my mouth, I cringed. We continued walking in silence for a few minutes. But my fears of the worst were allayed when, as we walked out to the car, he asked if I wanted to grab some dinner. He was smiling, and a wave of relief swept over me. 

***

That evening, we packed our clothes, sleeping bags, tent, and camping gear, cramming it all into the trunk and backseat of the car. It would be a twelve-hour drive from our home to Colorado, so we decided to go to bed early. As with the night before, I took a shower, and then went to his bedroom, shutting the door behind me. Dad was sitting in bed and looked up, as I came in. I asked if he remembered to put the maps in the front seat, remembered this or that, and stepped over to the closet to remove my robe. His eyes remained fixed on me. But when I took off my robe, a towel covered my torso. While we talked, I went over to the dresser and opened the drawer with my stuff in it. I pulled out my panties and bra, and then took my towel off. Standing naked in front of him, though angled away, I kept him talking, as I dropped the towel to the floor and reached for my panties. I glanced at him to make sure he was still watching me, letting him know I was ok with him seeing me in this manner. I'd grin and chuckle, as we chatted, and his eyes never left me, though it was somewhat obvious he was nervous, if not bewildered, by my behavior. When I was dressed, I stepped to the bed and slipped under the covers. I scooted a little closer to him and brought my hand up to his book and pulled it down so I could see it.

"Still workin' on the same book?" I asked.

That's when I noticed the book vibrating slightly. Dad's hands were almost imperceptibly shaking. 

"Yep," he said softly. There was just a hint of anxiety in his voice. But it was going to be a long drive the next day, and he really needed to get a good nights' sleep, so I kept our talk short. 

Letting him see me fully nude like that was one more conscious step on my part. Although it still nagged at me that he was my father, truth be told, I honestly didn't care any more. In the back of my mind, I found comfort in knowing, at least believing, that if he disapproved of any of these little sexual gestures on my part, he'd stop me. And when he didn't, it only served to reinforce my feelings for him. 

***

The next morning, we awoke at 5am. Dad gave me a gentle shake and soon I was sitting up in bed. He took a shower first, and then I quickly jumped in after he finished. When I returned to the bedroom, I figured he would be downstairs making breakfast, but he was in the bedroom standing at his closet. He was wearing jeans, but no shirt, trying to find one in his closet. I stepped up behind him and reached around to hang up my robe, giving him a bit of a start. As from the night before, I was naked and went back to his dresser to get my panties and bra. Then I walked over to my room for shorts and a t-shirt. Whether or not he watched me, I had no idea, but I certainly wasn't opposed to the idea. I had already taken that step and couldn't retract it now.

After a quick breakfast, we were on the road. 

***

The drive was pleasant and we listened to a book on tape, helping make the time pass more quickly. We'd talk now and then for long stretches, as well. 

When we at last reached Colorado, it was nearly six in the evening. We drove to our first campground and found a spot to set up the tent. When everything seemed to be in order, Dad asked if I wanted to take a walk through the woods. I smiled and nodded and took his hand in mine. And as we walked down the trail, I felt him squeeze my hand and the butterflies in my stomach fluttered. 

We walked for about an hour before the mosquitoes became more than we could bear, having left the repellent at the campsite. So we returned to the campsite, made a fire, and roasted a couple of hotdogs.

The campground, though small, was filled to capacity. We sat on the ground next to each other in front of the fire, chatting quietly until about ten. Dad yawned and looked around. We could see other campers, small groups of them doing as we were - some sitting and others standing around campfires, their bodies lit by the soft orange light. I put my arm around him and leaned against his shoulder. 

"Tired?" he asked. 

I nodded and yawned. 

He helped me to my feet and led me to the tent, unzipping the door and letting me step inside. It was a large tent, large enough for a small family, which left plenty of room for the two of us. Dad took his t-shirt off and sat on the mattress, setting the alarm clock. Then he looked up, just in time to see me taking off my bra. He made no attempt to avert his eyes. I hadn't really expected this. I'd been doing it so often lately, that it only seemed natural: when you go to bed, you undress, without a lot of thought behind it. 

My heart began racing and my breathing quickened, as I dropped my bra and slowly unzipped my shorts. As I stepped out of them, he asked if I was ready for the light to be off. My knees trembled, and I lowered myself to the mattress and nodded. I was tense, but dog-tired. He clicked off the light and soon we were fast asleep. 

***

Sometime during the night I awoke, my bladder screaming for release. I forced myself up and looked over my shoulder to Dad. We had unrolled our sleeping bags on the mattress, but slept atop of them, sharing a light blanket. I slowly rose, reaching for my shorts and shirt. When I was dressed, I carefully unzipped the door of the tent and stepped into the cool night air. All the people that had been standing around their fires were now tucked away in tents and campers. I folded my arms and quietly trudged to the latrine not far off. 

When I came back to the tent, I stopped at the door, holding the zipper in my hand. A cold chill shivered my body, and I paused for a moment in thought. My teeth chattered, as I unzipped the door and stepped inside. Dad was still sound asleep. My heart thumped, as I removed my clothes - all of them. Then I kneeled down onto the mattress and gently shook his shoulder. 

"Dad?"

He groaned and slowly turned to me, straining his eyes in the dark. I cleared my throat, asking nervously, "You have to go to the bathroom?" 

He squinted again, muttering, "Hmm?" 

"Do you have to go to the bathroom?" I whispered.

He seemed a bit puzzled at first, but then I think his eyes adjusted to the darkness, and he could see me kneeling naked next to him. He slowly sat up on his elbows, and I sat back smiling nervously. I ran a hand over my sweating forehead, and then returned it to my trembling knees. 

Still not quite awake, he wiped a hand over his mouth. 

"Uh, yeah," he mumbled. Then he rolled off the mattress, put his shoes on, and walked out of the tent. 

I fitfully awaited his return, clenching my fingers and wondering if I was making the right decision. 

A few minutes later, he was back inside the tent. He zipped the door and took off his shoes, trying not to look at me. Then he lay down, and when he went to pull the blanket up, I reached out with a trembling hand and stopped him. Without saying a word, I pulled it away and scooted closer. In the dark, I could see him looking up at me, as I kneeled next to his waist. I coughed, a little squeak emanating from the back of my throat, and then reached down and hooked my fingers under the band of his boxers and tried to pull them down. Suddenly, I felt his hand on my wrist. I glanced at him. He wasn't smiling, only staring back. I looked down at my hands and continued pulling them down. This time, he didn't try to stop me. As his penis came into view, it suddenly sprang upwards. I gulped and had to force myself not to stare, as I pushed his shorts down and pulled them off his legs. It was the first time I had ever seen something like that in the flesh, so to speak. Then I sat up, beads of sweat rolling down my face, and reached down into the dark and wrapped my trembling fingers around him. 

"Jess," he whispered hoarsely. 

With sweaty hands, I slowly stroked up on him. He quickly grabbed my wrist. I stopped stroking him, saying quietly, "Shh... Just don't... say... anything." Then I glanced at him, as he gripped my wrist.

He hissed my name again.

"Shhh," I replied nervously and gently squeezed him. His body tensed under my hand, and with the other, I peeled his fingers from my wrist and resumed stroking him.

Thinking it might make it easier for both of us, I told him to close his eyes. Reluctantly, he complied and I felt him begin to relax. My heart throbbed in my ears, as beads of perspiration rolled down my face. Then I pulled my hair around my neck and cautiously leaned forward, taking him into my mouth. Instantly, Dad's hands were on my head pushing me away. I turned to him and whispered a little louder. "Shhh," I said. "It's... It's ok." Breathing hard, he held his head up and stared at me for a moment, and then slowly dropped to his pillow and gripped the blanket. I took him in my hand once more and lowered my mouth over his penis. 

It was the first time I'd ever done something like that and, to be honest, it probably wasn't very good. After a while, my jaw was becoming sore, but Dad's breathing was coming quicker, so I figured I must have been doing something right. I used my hand to gently masturbate him, giving my jaw a rest, and then took him into my mouth once more. After what seemed like an eternity, I felt him suddenly lurch in my mouth. His hands clasped the sides of my head and he softly cried out. 

"God... Jessie... stop," he grunted. "You have to... stop..." 

But instead, I sucked harder, gripping his penis tightly and bobbing my head along his length. He groaned and thrust his hips upward, driving deeper in my mouth and causing me to gag and pull back. And when just the tip was in my mouth, I felt it pulse against my tongue. He was ejaculating. He gasped and gripped my head, arching his back. The first spurt shot to the back of my throat, but before I could react, another followed, then another and another. My mouth was rapidly filling with semen. Whimpering, I didn't know what to do, having never performed this act before, so I did what I'd heard other girls my age say they did: I swallowed. 

As I held his penis, I could feel the jets of warm fluid stream up its length and the heavy musky scent filled my nostrils. I was scared. My eyes were clamped tightly and I swallowed as fast as I could. When it seemed he had stopped, I brushed the hair from my eyes and turned them to him, still holding the tip of his penis in my mouth. His chest was heaving up and down and he was breathing rapidly. I slowly rose and sat up next to him, gently stroking him. I was a nervous wreck. I glanced down at his penis in my hand, still very rigid, and couldn't believe I had actually sucked him off. When I coughed, he opened his eyes and looked up at me with an expression of profound disbelief. 

"Jess," he gasped. 

My body began to perspire profusely and my teeth chattered. I was really nervous now, terrified at what he would say. In the dark, I turned my eyes to him. He was holding his hands over his face. Then he reached down and carefully pulled my fingers from him. 

I didn't know what to do, my nerves becoming heightened with each passing second. I lay down next to him and hesitated before slowly put my arm across his chest. Dad's eyes were closed, and he was shaking his head slowly, softly muttering my name.

"Jess..."

I felt like crying and sniffed, rising up on my elbow.

"I'm not... sorry," I whispered. "I love you so much." Then I hugged him, saying, "I'm in love with you." When I said that, his chest rose and he sighed, holding a hand to his forehead. 

Neither of us spoke for a very long time. I finally sat up and looked at the clock on his side of the mattress. It was almost three in the morning. I leaned against my elbow, and he opened his eyes and turned to face me. My fingers picked at the fabric of the mattress and I shrugged. 

"I dunno what to say," I whispered. "But I meant what I said. I'm in love with you." 

When he didn't respond, a tear fell from my eye and I asked if he was mad. He must have sensed I was crying, and placed his hand on my knee. 

"Jess, sweetheart... We can't... we can't do this."

I slowly shook my head. "Don't say that," I replied plaintively. "Don't tell me that."

He squeezed his fingers on my knee. "Jessie... C'mon, please don't cry..."

I sniffed and wiped my nose. "Are you mad?" I asked.

I closed my eyes and waited for the worst.

After what seemed an eternal pause, he whispered no, he wasn't mad.

I took a deep breath, and then asked if he still loved me.

"Yes," he whispered, rubbing my knee. "Very much."

My voice cracked and stuttered, saying, "You d-don't have to answer... b-but I wanna know... I wanna know, if... if you love me... the same... like I love you."

He rose next to me and helped me sit upright in front of him. Then he ran his hand over my face, brushing the hair from my face over my ears, and lifted my chin. In the faint light, I could see he had been crying. He smiled and leaned over to hug me. 

"I'll always love you," he whispered. 

I put my arms around him, hugging him close and pushing my breasts against his bare chest. I began crying again, and he stroked my hair, saying he loved me. 

A few minutes later, he gently laid me back onto the mattress. As he sat next to me, I reached for his hand and brought it to my lips, kissing it softly. He smiled, as I held his hand to my chest, and then I slowly moved it to my breast. 

"I'm in love with you," I whispered, still fighting back the tears. 

He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"I know, sweetheart," he said. Then he pulled his hand away, brushing his fingers against my cheek.

"I love you very much," he whispered. "Let's get some sleep."

Then he lay down facing away from me. I turned and looked at him in the dark, suddenly feeling very lonely. I rolled over and scooted up behind him, snuggling him close.




The Past is Present



Sally could have sworn she knew him. From the very first time he came into her restaurant the thought had come into her head, "I've seen him somewhere before."

He was so striking that it should have been easy for her to recall, but somehow the memory could not be retrieved. That nearly black hair and dark blue eyes were unusual, and his good looks, with almost the prettiness of an attractive girl. His sensual mouth that when he smiled revealed beautifully white and even teeth; but the memory would not surface.

The first time he had appeared in the restaurant it had been with a couple of other students. It seemed they had come to celebrate some academic triumph. The other two had drunk heavily, but he had been restrained. 

Even in eating he had been almost as abstemious as one of those ascetics of long ago you could read about, but in all else there was nothing ascetic about him. She had been all too aware of his virile young body, lithe and with a sensuality about it that had sent a little frisson of excitement through her. 

She had been annoyed by that tremor. No one – no man – had caused that response in her, and she had been determined they never would. Ever since...but no, she wouldn't think of that; it was all in the distant past; over and done with. 

From the very first she had been aware that his eyes were upon her. That was not unusual since she was sufficiently self-aware to know that she attracted men. That had been one of the reasons for the restaurant's success, but any suggestion, any hint from one of her male customers, and they soon felt the cold draught of her rejection.

In a way she had been flattered by his frank stare of admiration since she was at least eighteen years older than him, and there were, after all, two very pretty waitresses about his own age, but he took not the slightest notice of them.

His gaze had been for her as she moved about among the customers playing the friendly hostess. She was good at that; flattering, sympathising and joking; but for some reason she could not quite define, she did not go near his table.

He came in at other times; sometimes with fellow students but often alone, and always his eyes had followed her round the room as if he was hypnotised by her.

She often wondered why he came because he drank so little and seemed to take no interest in the food, but it was her own response that most puzzled her. Why did he look at her so intently and why did she always feel that thrill of excitement when she saw him come in through the door?

Now, with the restaurant closed and the place cleared up and staff gone, she sat alone with him in the little office behind the restaurant bar.

His request was not unusual. Many of the university students came in to ask if there was evening work; washing up, cleaning floors or even waiting at tables if they felt they could manage it; anything to make a few dollars to supplement their meagre student grants.

She had been surprised by his request for work since she had always thought him to be financially well off. Not that he spent a lot of money in the restaurant, but his clothes, although casual in the manner of students, were obviously expensive, and she had noticed his car when it was parked in the area behind the restaurant; it was a model that did not come cheap. She had always thought that he must have well-off parents, or some liberal source of income.

Now he had approached her to ask for a job washing dishes and she was in the process of interviewing him. It was strange because although he had been in the restaurant many times, they had never exchanged more than a few words of greeting. His voice, unlike his slightly feminine looks, was a very male baritone and his speech beautifully articulated without being affected.

Given her view that he did not seem to be in need of money and there were plenty of students who did need it, she almost refused his request outright; but something in his eyes, something that both attracted and disturbed, had made her say, "See me after we close."

The interview was rather pointless really. Sally knew she was going to give him the job though if you asked her why she couldn't have given a coherent reason. She didn't need an additional washer-up and profitable though the restaurant was, she didn't need to be paying out more wages, small though they were.

She looked at him across the desk behind which she had sat as a sort of barrier or defence. He looked back at her with smiling mouth and eyes. Then the now familiar quiver of excitement that this time seemed to centre in her lower abdomen and cause a ticking sensation in her clitoris, and this in turn brought on a hardening of her nipples.

Even as she said in as formal a voice as she could muster, "Very well, Peter, I shall only need you on Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings," she knew she should not be giving him the job.

He had been very polite and eager, but for all those smiling eyes she sensed danger; danger to herself. She tried to crush this feeling, telling herself it was stupid, just as that hint of sexual arousal had been stupid, yet the feeling persisted.

She seemed to be arguing with her self as she spoke; "What would he want with me? With his looks and charm he could get almost any girl he wanted and he's hardly likely to have a sexual interest in someone so much older than him." 

But lurking deep in her psyche and barely acknowledged, was the thought, "What would I want with him?" Yet she had given him the job when her instincts had told her not to; given him the job when she did not even need his labour.

He rose and said, "Thank you very much, Mrs. Marlow, I'm sure I shall give satisfaction."

She looked at him sharply; had there been some double meaning in his words? Innocent though they were, it had been the way they had been said. His continuing smile was ingenuous.

"No, it was me," she decided, "I'm being silly and it's got to stop."

"Goodnight, Mrs. Marlow, I'll start next Thursday, then?"

"Yes, be here at six o'clock, goodnight."

He left. "Mrs. Marlow" was a title she used in the hope that it would defend her against some of the more suggestive of her customers. No one had ever met or even seen Mr. Marlow for the very good reason that there never had been a Mr. Marlow. 

Sally had never been married, had never entered into a "relationship," and her determination was that she never would. It could be truthfully said that she was as chaste as a nun. Her life was centred on her restaurant to the extent that she even lived above it in a small flat. 

She locked the restaurant door after Peter had gone and stood for a moment listening to him start up his car and watched it through the window as he drove past. 

At that moment she realised she had not even asked for his address or a contact phone number. She would have to do that when he arrived the following Thursday to start work.

She sighed, took a last look around the restaurant, switched off the lights that were still on, and made her way upstairs to the flat, a shower, and then her virtuous bed.

As she showered that night she took longer than usual and did something she had never done before; as she washed she explored her body, lingering over her breasts and sex organ, even letting a finger slip inside her vagina. She gave her self a mental slap on the wrist when she became fully conscious of what she was doing and how much she was enjoying it.

Normally she slept soundly, undisturbed by disquieting dreams or nightmares. Not so that night. They were not exactly erotic dreams, neither were they by normal standards frightening. They were images of Peter's smiling eyes and the reiterated words, "Guess...guess...guess..."

For all their lack of fearful content Sally awoke perspiring. "Guess what?" she asked her self repeatedly, but found no answer, and then falling asleep again she had the same dream. Throughout the night it came to her until she dreaded going back to sleep.

When, after having fought against sleep she had finally succumbed in the early hours of the morning, she awoke from that sleep feeling that her world had changed but she didn't know how.

The room looked the same, and, when she took a morning shower to wash away the odour of female perspiration that clung to her body, she found the shower was the same, as was the restaurant when she made her early morning inspection.

It was all the same but different. There was a different atmosphere that was not exactly unpleasant, but was very disturbing. She found her self wishing it was Thursday and for a moment did not know why; then it struck her, "Peter will be here."

She breakfasted and after that the day began. The day staff arrived to prepare for the lunch time customers. Sally found her self unable to concentrate properly, and her staff, always used to her being very much alert to what was going on, were puzzled by her seeming inability to answer their questions in her usual incisive manner.

Poor Gordon the chef got his head snapped off when he tried to discuss the next day's menu and stock orders. He was immediately apologised to by Sally who said, "Sorry Gordon, I just don't seem to be myself today."

It was true, she wasn't herself, but couldn't make up her mind who she was.

Normally the hours and days flew by for Sally as she attended to the details of her beloved restaurant and played the hostess to the customers. Now time dragged by and the question "Guess what?" kept beating in her head. 

She began to wonder if she needed to see a psychiatrist and made an effort to be the usually dignified but friendly hostess. But she left many customers bewildered when it became clear that she hadn't really heard a word they said, and had made incongruent responses to their remarks and questions.

Another change took place when Thursday arrived. From being a somewhat depressed and preoccupied woman, she suddenly became bright and effervescent; so much so that all those around her were somewhat uneasy about these unusual mood changes.

There was some return to normality when Peter arrived and started work, although they didn't associate Peter's arrival with the change in Sally.

The two pretty waitresses, who had always been rather flirtatious with Peter, were delighted he had joined the staff, but then become somewhat put out when he did not respond to their coquettish behaviour. He replied to their suggestive quips only briefly, and seemed totally absorbed in the task of washing and clearing up.

"A new broom always sweeps clean," one of the older members of the kitchen staff remarked sagely. The others nodded, and she went on, "He'll soon get bored with it and I'll bet he chucks it in; these students always do in the end."

To the general annoyance of the staff the prophecy did not come true quickly enough. They all knew that Peter was not really required, but he flung himself into the tasks and was always the last to leave.

Involved as he seemed to be in the work, Peter no longer openly gazed at Sally, but she was always aware of his presence, and it was almost as if he was still watching her. Several times she was on the brink of telling him he was no longer needed, but stepped back from the edge, unable to speak the words.

She got to the point where she finally admitted to herself that she was fascinated by Peter, even that she was in love with him. However much she tried to tell herself that this was madness and nothing could ever come of it, her days and nights were filled with thoughts of him, and worse, imagining herself to be in his embrace – surrendering her long preserved chastity to him.

To be with Peter was like being in hell; the thought of not being with him was another sort and more fiery hell. She tried to lose herself in work, telling herself she would conquer this nonsense; it did not help. She even took to masturbating, something she had rarely done during her many years of celibacy. None of it helped; if anything it seemed to heap more fuel on the fires that burned within her.

It was all so crazy because despite being in each others presence several nights a week, they spoke little. It was only when the restaurant had closed and all the other staff had gone and Peter was still bustling around giving a final wipe and polish to this and that, that they conversed at all. Even then it was nothing; they merely talked about the evening and how many customers had been in and other fairly inconsequential things.

It was not what they said, but how they looked at each other that really passed the message. Sally knew where it all must lead to unless she could find the strength to dismiss Peter, but that strength she could not find. So she waited, a willing victim, if victim she was to be, for the denouement.

She might have made the move herself, but the last vestiges of female pride held her back, besides, she knew for certain that one night Peter would approach her. Yet she had long to wait. 

Night after night when Peter was on duty she moved with an uncomfortable ache in the region of her mons and wetness between her thighs. She took to looking at Peter's groin and could see plainly the hard lump that often pressed against his tight trousers. 

It took five weeks, but finally it happened. Even though she had decided she could not or would not make the first move, Sally relented so far as to ostentatiously lock the front door of the restaurant before Peter had left. 

She moved towards him where he stood by the bar that he had just finished cleaning. For a moment they stood looking at each other, and then Peter put his arms round her, pulled her close and kissed her. 

It was not a deep passionate kiss, but very soft and tender. When they broke from the kiss Sally felt her legs grow weak and she sagged against him making a little whimpering sound.

"You know I want you, don't you Sally?" he said very quietly.

"Yes," quavered Sally, "come up to the flat and make love with me."

On the surface it was as simple as that, but Sally was quivering uncontrollably as they climbed the stairs in silence to her flat. Partly it was in anticipation of what was to come, but along with that was the realisation that she was about to break the resolution she had made after..."No, that is in the past, this is different," she told herself.

They entered the flat and Sally was wondering, "Where?" Her bedroom had only an austere single bed, not the most romantic place for making love. She need not have troubled herself, for it was Peter who chose the place.

In the lounge was a large divan. Sally used it to relax on when on rare occasions she did take time off from working or thinking about work, to listen to music or watch television. 

Peter, seeing the divan, drew Sally to stand before it, and then kissing her again he began to slowly undress her. She was dressed in the clothing she customarily wore in the restaurant, a simple white blouse and black skirt. Beneath she wore only black bra and panties and black stockings with a suspender belt.

She felt Peter remove her blouse followed by her bra. He was still kissing her but with increasing urgency as he paused in his stripping her to cup and fondle her breasts. He bent his head over her breasts and kissed each nipple in turn, and then, with mouth open he kissed her deeply, thrusting his tongue into her mouth. 

Sally, for all her thirty seven years, could only rely on her instincts to tell her how to respond. She pressed her still shaking body against Peter, feeling his hard manhood against her lower abdomen. 

"Be gentle with me," she whispered.

"I'll be very gently," Peter replied as he undid the fastener at the top of her skirt. The skirt dropped to the floor and he began to remove her panties, his mouth once more pressed to hers.

The panties removed he left her stockings on and then stripped himself. He pressed her back tenderly onto the divan to lie on her back. He then carefully parted her legs and raising them to expose her sex organ, he bent forward and kissed it.

Sally gasped with passion and Peter came to lay beside her, his mouth once more on hers as his fingers explored her vagina and clitoris.

"You're very beautiful, Sally," he murmured, and Sally, her throat dry, could only gasp, "Oh Peter...Peter..."

Feeling that her vagina was ready for him Peter came between her legs and Sally felt the hard tip of his penis press against her vaginal opening. It was at that moment Sally realised what the possible consequences were if Peter ejaculated into her. A few moments before she might have protested, telling him they must wait until they had some means of contraception, but now he was in her, pressing his length into her, and she no longer cared. 

She wanted him...wanted him as she had never wanted anything else before in her life. She surrendered completely to him only begging once more that he would be gentle with her.

His lips fastened to hers and his hand fondling her breasts, he began to move in her, drawing back until she almost begged him to press into her again. He moved so slowly at first, as if relishing every millimetre of her warm wet vaginal tunnel. He began to move more rapidly and it as then she felt it. Before it had always been self-induced, but now it came with a force she had never known before. It seemed to begin deep inside her and she feared it. She tore her lips away from his and began to plead, "Don't darling...please don't...I'm frightened...it's coming and I'm afraid..."

But he did not stop, instead he relentlessly moved in her even more rapidly and with greater intensity. It swept over her like a storm dragging a scream from her that seemed to come from her deepest self. It was torment, yet she wanted it...wanted the great creative moment...the moment of the deepest physical and spiritual fulfilment possible between man and woman.

In the midst of the storm of passion that raged within her she heard Peter give a loud groan and felt the first discharge of his sperm enter her.

She clung to him crying out, "Oh yes...oh yes...darling...deep...deeper..."

He had finished but still she clung to him unrestrainedly crying out, "I love you...I want you...I need you..."

The years of denial were over; her pride her dignity gone as she continued to agonise her way through the torment of her orgasm. The business woman, the restaurant owner, the woman who had fended off so many would be lovers, had finally succumbed to a young man nearly half her age.

She was aware of Peter's eyes on her, watching her writhe in her orgasmic aftershocks. He still moved within her, but with a penis no longer hard and rigid, but soft and pliable.

When the last tremor had gone Sally lay with Peter still in her, unable to look at him. She turned her head away but even in this movement that seemed like rejection she said, "Don't leave me, stay with me tonight."

"Of course," he said, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead, "I'll stay with you as long as you want me."

All reticence gone, Sally whispered, "Stay with me always."

Peter did not reply, but lifting her up in his arms asked, "Which way to the shower?"

She let him carry her to the shower, and there, under the cascading water he washed her, cleaning out his sperm from her vagina and in the process arousing her again. She stroked his penis and it rose in her hand. She felt a strange wonderment; had that really been inside her only few minutes ago, and would it presently be moving in her again?

She soon found the answer. Back on the divan Peter explored her body unhurriedly. He fondled and kissed her breasts, sucking on her nipples for a long time as if he were a child drawing nourishment.

Finally he once more opened her legs and raised them so that he could clearly see her sex organ. There was no hurried kiss now. She felt his fingers exploring her, parting the lips of her vulva to expose her inner lips. 




The Past is Present



For a long time he gazed at her sex organ, gently touching it with his finger. He seemed to be fascinated by her and he was so long in his touching and looking she began to feel embarrassed. 

She had never thought the female organ to be particularly attractive, and had in fact been surprised when he had kissed it for the first time. She was even more surprised when, as he lifted the little hood of flesh to reveal her clitoris he murmured, "So beautiful."

With those words she felt something warm and soft enter her vaginal tunnel. She had been lying back letting Peter do what he wished to her, but now she glanced down and was stunned to see that it was Peter's tongue that was penetrating her. 

It came to her that there was surely few things more loving than this that a man could do to a woman, and as Peter transferred his thrusting tongue to her clitoris she felt it happening again. 

Once more she feared being stretched on the agonising rack of orgasmic torment, but this time she made no plea for mercy. Instead she welcomed the torture she was about to experience, for it was the torture of love.

She put her hands behind his head and held him close as his tongue moved faster, and then with a cry of abandonment she gave herself up to the delicious anguish that flooded over and through her.

When she was past her climax Peter suddenly came over her and penetrated. While she experienced the tremors of her fading orgasm Peter pressed into her and released himself. This time she was much more aware of his ejaculations and worked with him in rhythmic movements. As he finished he gave a gasping sigh and relaxed. This time it was Sally who looked at him and stroked his hair, murmuring words of love.

Within three days a new double bed arrived early in the morning before the staff arrived. Peter had come to stay, but Sally did not want the staff to know of their relationship, at least for the time being. For all that Peter had freed her from her long years of sexual abstinence and she had rejoiced in this, she still felt that somehow people would think less of her if they knew, especially as Peter was so much younger than her.

Fortunately Peter was off to lectures before the day staff arrived and in order to account for his presence in the late afternoon Sally had extended the evenings he worked to a full week. 

This made the staff resent him even more since it was very clear that his services were not needed on the slower nights in the early part of the week. Suspicions were aroused and the sagacious lady commented, "There's something going on there, mark my words." Her hearers nodded. 

As far as their sex life was concerned it was as if a great dammed up bank of sex drive had been released in Sally. Mostly it was she who approached Peter for sex. 

They engaged in oral and anal sex, and often Peter would sit astride her, folding her breasts over his hard shaft as he worked it between them, but he seemed to have almost a fetish about ejaculating into her vagina. He would wait until he was about to come and than transfer his penis to her vagina.

They had done nothing about contraception and from time to time Sally would ask, "What if I get pregnant?" and he would reply, "That would be wonderful."

Feeling that she was safe and Peter would not desert her if she did get pregnant, she would respond, "It would be beautiful to get pregnant with you, darling."

Happy in her sex life Sally became more high spirited in the rest of her life, and this too was noted by the staff. "She's riding for a fall," our sage lady said, and again the others nodded.

It was almost impossible that a healthy and fertile woman, engaging in sexual intercourse at least once every day and usually more, would not get pregnant. And so it happened.

Once it had been confirmed by the doctor Sally told Peter. She waited until they had finished copulating once night, and as they lay relaxed and happy, she said, "Peter, I'm going to have a baby."

He said nothing for a few moments but turned on his side to face her, and with his head propped up by his elbow and hand stared at her.

Sally looked at him searchingly, anxious lest after all he might not be pleased, and she seemed to see something in his face that had never been there before. His dark blue eyes were narrowed and his mouth was set in a smile that did not really seem to be a smile.

"You are pleased, aren't you, darling," she asked uneasily.

"Oh yes, I'm very happy," he replied, "It's what I've been waiting for."

"That's wonderful, darling," Sally said, relieved.

"You are sure, aren't you?"

"Oh yes, the doctor has confirmed it."

"Good, wonderful. The only question is, who will you give this one away to?"

"Peter, I don't know what you mean, why should I give away my baby?"

"You gave one baby away."

Sally felt a cold shudder run through her and her face was drained of colour.

"How do you know that?" she gasped. She was struggling for breath and thought she was about to faint.

Through her turmoil of emotions she saw Peter's sneering face and very slowly he said; "I know it because I am the baby you gave away."

Sally heard the words but could not comprehend them.

"Stop it Peter, if this is a joke it's cruel, terribly cruel and you're making me feel ill."

"Giving me away was cruel, and I felt ill when I learned I'd been given away for adoption, so why shouldn't you feel ill now?"

"But it's not possible...it's not true...tell me it's not true."

"Oh it's true all right, mother," he jeered. "A lovely surprise isn't it, having a grown up son? Do you like having me for a son?" 

"How did you find me," sobbed Sally, "they're not allowed to reveal..."

"Oh yes, they are now, the law has changed. If an adopted person wants to know who their birth mother was, they can demand the name be given. After that it was easy. It was my good luck that you still lived in the same city as me," he laughed nastily, "even the suburb right next to mine. That was careless of you, mother," he spate out.

"But we've been..."

"Yes, we have, haven't we, and you've enjoyed it haven't you, mother?"

"You knew...you knew all the time."

"Of course I knew, you silly bitch. From the moment I first came into your bloody restaurant I watched you. I saw you fending off the boozy sods who tried to get into your nickers; I watched you playing the dignified hostess, and I thought, 'That's how I can punish her, I'll make her want me to fuck her'. It was so easy, mother, so very easy, and getting you pregnant is just the icing on the cake."

"But why...why did you want to punish me, Peter," wailed Sally.

"Why...you ask why? Surely it's obvious. You gave me away...my own mother and you didn't want me; I've hated you for that. I wanted revenge for being rejected, and now I've got it. Now perhaps you'll tell me why you gave me away."

"I...I...Oh my God..."

She had been staring at Peter and suddenly it came back to her in a blinding flash of memory; the dark hair and blue eyes, the face leering down at her while the others pinioned her to the ground...the face almost feminine yet contorted with lust. "We're going to fuck you until you beg for mercy, bitch," he had said as he thrust into her, tearing her hymen apart.

He had been the first of...four was it...or five? She'd never really known. She'd begged for mercy, but they did not stop. They had grabbed her as she came home from the university library late one night. She'd been dragged into a car crowded with young men and driven to an isolated reserve. There they held her down, tore off her knickers, and now she remembered the first one and Peter was the image of him.

"I was raped," she screamed. "Can you understand that, I was just eighteen and they raped me; I didn't know what to do...I was a virgin and they raped me."

"So?" was his derisive response.

"So my parents told me to have an abortion, but I couldn't face that, so I had you adopted out. For God's sake, I knew you went to a good home. Look at you; the best clothes, a flash car, and I knew you didn't really need the job...there were others who needed it more than you but I..."

"But you fancied me."

"Yes...no...it wasn't like that..."

"What was it like then?"

"It was...was...I don't know. There was something about you. I was...I knew you...I'd seen you somewhere before but I couldn't..."

He laughed, "But you can now?"

"Yes, you animal, you're just like your father, the bastard who raped me first...and now...I gave you everything, I loved you, and you've done this to me, knowing it was incest."

"And didn't you enjoy it...mother?"

Every time he said that word, "mother," it was like a whip lash. It was filled with hatred – the desire to inflict the final humiliation – and above all it was this, his venom that broke her.

He rose from the bed and began to pack the few things he had brought to her flat. 

"I'll leave you now, mother. I've done what I came here to do, so I'll leave you to think about the baby you didn't want, and what you're going to do with the one I've put in you. 

"I wonder what you'll do. Will you tell everyone that you've been fucked by your own son – the son you didn't want? Or will you make up some fancy story about being raped? It'll be fun if you try and charge me, won't it? Why a mother let her own son fuck her; why she took him into her employ when as all your staff know you didn't need anyone extra; and how it happened that you let him live with you? Good luck... mother."

Four weeks later in a small corner of the local paper an article appeared that in substance said, "Well known restaurant owner Mrs. Sally Marlow found dead. A father and his young son fishing in the river noticed what looked like a bundle of rags floating in the river. They threw out their lines in an attempt to hook the bundle and discovered it was the body of Mrs. Marlow."

"After the autopsy it was discovered that Mrs. Marlow was pregnant. The coroner, after hearing witnesses who said Mrs. Marlow had been behaving erratically in recent times found that, 'Mrs. Marlow had committed suicide while her balance of mind was disturbed.'"

At the funeral of Sally Marlow few of the mourners noticed the young man with dark hair and dark blue eyes who stood at the back of the congregation weeping.

Report in the local paper. "The body of Peter Mainwaring was found in his car on a lonely road south of the city. He had apparently fixed a hose to the exhaust pipe of his car and put the end in the rear window of the vehicle leaving the engine running."

"At the coronial enquiry witnesses said that Peter was a bright and happy young man with a brilliant future before him, and none could think of any reason why he should want to kill himself." 

"The coroner declared an open verdict. The police are continuing their investigations."