1 comments/ 14595 views/ 1 favorites The Collection By: Separated Sarah walked into her home through the unlocked front door and kicked off her high heels. She was relieved to have gotten off early that Friday and was looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Dressed in a thin, but conservative white blouse and black pants, at thirty-four years of age, Sarah was a beautiful woman with long, thick chestnut hair that flowed like a waterfall to the middle of her back. Standing just a little over 5'9" she had maintained her weight at 125 pounds most of her life. Long, lean and graceful, most would describe her as a truly gorgeous woman with the fabulous smile of a happy soul. Her radiant beauty and personality had carried her to a satisfying career in real estate. Sarah could hardly anticipate how her life was about to change... As Sarah softly padded into the living area she saw Dave, the foster child she had raised from the age of thirteen. She and her ex-husband had taken custody of Dave from a negligent family through a social services program years ago. Less than two years later she caught her former husband fucking a young, but not especially pretty waitress. Despite the ensuing divorce, Dave had remained welcome in her home. Now, at the age of twenty, he had filled out into a handsome young man with intelligence and ambition. Shortly after moving into the Meacham home, and with Sarah's encouragement, he had started a lawn mowing business serving the neighborhood. Slowly, and with considerable wisdom and foresight, he grew the business until he owned several trucks with individual work crews, thousands in equipment and plenty of long-term contracts. Dave mostly worked from a small desk in his bedroom these days, but still enjoyed going out and getting dirty with the guys as often as he could. Currently, Dave was slumped in the couch with his head reclined on the back and his eyes closed. From behind him Sarah opened her mouth to speak, but was quickly shocked into silence as she noticed movement when she had drawn close enough to see over the top of the couch. She stood stock still trying to quiet her breathing as her brain processed the scene before her. She was able to see the straight silky blonde hair belonging to her next door neighbor's eighteen year old daughter. Sarah's breath caught as she watched as the girl slowly bobbed as she knelt on the floor between the boy's outspread legs. Dave was naked from the waist down while Shay wore a very sexy tangerine bikini as they had both recently came indoors from the pool. Dave's left hand rested lightly on top of the girl's head as she sensuously pleasured him with her mouth. Shay Beck had lived next door to Dave since he first arrived at the Meacham's home and she had been in love with him since the first day she had set her eyes upon him. Tall and handsome even as a young boy, he grew taller, bigger and morphed into the ideal image of male sexuality. Dave seemed somewhat shy with a slow, easy smile and possessed an intelligence and maturity well beyond his young age. Shay found excuses day after day to be around the handsome youth and was insanely jealous of other girls competing for his attention. As she grew older she began to struggle daily to find the appropriately revealing outfit she would wear around Dave. Her dreams were filled with the idea of being his wife one day and nursing his children in their happy home. Sarah found herself frozen at the sight of her half naked foster child and the precious teen blonde. The thought of stopping the young couple never went through her mind. She consciously tried to stifle her now ragged breathing to keep from alerting the lovers of her presence. Oh my god, they look beautiful! Clearly she could see the lovely girl's eyes as they looked toward his face seeking his approval of her performance. His eyes were closed but Shay knew she was doing well because of the expressions ranging through his face as she sucked his cock. Shay's movements were slow and deliberate as she sought to please him for as long as she possibly could. A third of his cock was constantly buried deep in her drooling mouth as she moved an inch with each steady bob of her pretty head. Dave forced his eyes to open so that he could watch the lovely teen working on his cock with her glossed pink lips wrapped securely around him. Her mouth descended slowly and her tongue was always, always firmly pressed against the underside of his shaft forming a warm and wet cradle. The sensations slamming through his brain as she moved her head up and down in a sensuous rhythm felt like warm honey being poured over his cock over and over again. Every so often she would stop and drool inside of her mouth just a little so that his cock was always slickened by her juices. Dave had already experienced many blowjobs by several different girls, but Shay was taking him to new heights of pleasure as she discovered a very natural talent for giving him pleasure. She smirked as his head lolled back onto the headrest in surrender to her talented mouth. Shay watched his face intently for the little clues that told her what made him feel good and she recorded those techniques in her brain so she would always be able to give him her best effort. She reached up with her delicate right hand and wrapped her slender fingers around the shaft of his cock just below her lips and was immediately rewarded with his groan of satisfaction. Her cool fingers were an amazing contrast to her hot mouth and tongue. The fingers of his left hand gently massaged through her corn silk hair as he encouraged her actions. With gentle pressure on each downward stroke his strong hand encouraged her to take more and more of him into her mouth. She endeavored to push the head of his cock just a fraction deeper into the back of her mouth and throat each time she went down. Shay was falling in love with the deep rumble coming from his chest as he expressed his pleasure. Sarah found herself watching intently and tried to keep still and quiet as her eyes took in the visual feast before her. She focused on the girls lips as they passed over the lower end of the foreskin of Dave's heavy cock and just a little farther than before. As the girl's lips moved back up Sarah was entranced by the light glisten on the swollen shaft as the sheen of saliva appeared. The head appeared as Shay completely removed her mouth, stuck out her tongue and lightly pushed the tip of it into the piss hole. She was immediately rewarded by a hard buck from Dave's hips. "Did that hurt?" Shay asked. "No, it was just very intense," Dave replied. "It feels fucking amazing, but don't do it too often." Shay turned her head sideways, cupped the lower part of his shaft with her open mouth and slid slowly from the top to the bottom. She continued on until she completely enveloped his left ball into her mouth. The girl flattened her tongue and used broad strokes to paint the testicle over and over again. She released the orb, slid even lower and with another broad stroke of her pink tongue, pressed hard underneath his ball sack just above his asshole. Dave's head fell back against the couch again as he released an even louder groan. "Come up here," Dave said as he reached down and pulled her by arms toward onto the couch with him. Shay stood and followed the direction his hands provided as she climbed onto him and straddled him with a leg on either side of his. She settled her aching pussy onto his hard cock and immediately felt the relief the pressure provided through her thin bikini bottom. "Stand," said Dave in his deep baritone voice. A confused look flashed across her face, but she immediately obeyed and sought to place her feet back on the floor. "No, stand right where you are." Now an excited smile of understanding splashed across her face as she placed her feet on the couch cushions and stood. His head still reclined against the back of the couch and his hands slowly slid up the tiny girls legs to finally cup each ass cheek and then followed the same path back down. His eyes hungrily devoured every inch of skin as they traced the same path his hands followed. The second time up his hands stopped at her hips and fingers tugged at the thin strings on each hip. Once untied the bottoms fell away and Shay's breath caught as her excitement mounted to higher levels than she had ever known. Almost out of control she denied Dave the pleasure of removing her top by virtually tearing the small strip of clothe away in her anxiousness to allow Dave complete access to her body. Sarah caught her breath once more as the bottoms fell away from the teenage girl. Shay was only 5'1" and naturally petite, but Sarah marveled at the perfection in that small girl's body. Her limbs were surprisingly long and lean and she had a beautiful curve to her hips as they spread away from a tiny and trim waist. From her position to the right of the couple, she admired the heart shaped, well rounded and taut ass on the teen. Breasts that were at least a C cup were capped with quarter sized pink nipples that were very slightly upturned and at this moment, very erect. A just visible trace of the underlying muscle was visible in her very flat belly. In short, the young girl's body was a head-turning sexual ideal at the zenith of perfection. Dave's voice was meant only for his toy and was soft and deep as he said, "Lean forward." Shay's legs began to quiver as she complied and brought her oozing pussy closer to his head, but uncertainty caused her to stop just short. "More...you know what I want." came the command from Dave. She slowly closed her eyes and with an apprehensive expression on her face, brought her hips closer to his mouth. Her body was trembling with the built up excitement and nervousness this new situation had brought to her mind. As soon as her lower lips brushed his, she was rewarded as his tongue pushed apart her labia. His head had never moved during the whole time and had remained reclined on the back of the couch as he went to work on his lover's smooth pussy. Sarah, who had been standing so incredibly still for so long was relieved when the girl closed her eyes. She immediately reached down with her right hand and pressed the ball of her hand hard into her own pussy desperately seeking relief from the stimulation her body was going through. Her right foot cautiously moved out to give herself more room. She was both terrified of being caught and simultaneously could not turn away from the scene only seven or so feet in front of her. The beautiful woman was totally and completely captured as she could plainly see the pinkness of Dave's tongue as it separated Shay's pussy lips and began to assault the younger girl's clit. Shay was a beautiful mess as she stood in place with her eyes clinched shut. Irregular blasts of air came from her involuntarily as her body fought to climb to a better and better place with the help of Dave's skilled tongue. Without conscious thought she held her breath as her body clutched and tightened. Her back slowly arched and her perfect teardrop breasts pointed to the sky. She no longer cared about anything other than her lover's tongue lashing her drooling slit. Dave continued working on the girl's clit and once he realized Shay was close to cumming, focused on her clit with a very regular movement and pressure. He was experienced enough not to change any of his movements and with a tireless tongue, simply stuck to a nice pattern the girl could focus on. He could feel the muscular contractions in her shapely ass which was still cupped in each hand and gained his own enjoyment from knowing she was very close. Soon enough the girl bucked hard against and then away from his face as her body went into pleasurable convulsions as she came. She collapsed as it subsided and would have gone into the floor if not for his strong arms effortlessly easing her down onto his lap. Momentarily exhausted and in a state of euphoria, she wrapped both arms around his shoulders and nuzzled her face into his neck. He stroked his large hands slowly up and down her back while Shay recovered. Gently he stroked, sometimes using only the fingertips. His eyes roamed along with his hands as he examined every tiny little bit of her flawless skin. Dave knew the girl had a lot to offer and had to carefully guard his heart lest he fall in love with this gorgeous creature. Not that it would be a bad thing, but he knew they were both too young to be a committed couple. He had no doubts that Shay would be faithful to him, but he was well aware of his own predatory nature with women. There were many days that the hormonal pressure to have sex almost overwhelmed the young man and severely disturbed his focus. Instead, he focused on loving her as best he could at this moment of their lives. Shay finally raised herself and looked the love of her young life in the eyes and said, "It's time to take care of you now." As she planted her feet in the floor and stood she took both of his hands in hers and pulled. Dave stood in front of her with his large erection jutting out in front of him. Shay slid to her knees as she spoke, "I want you to come in my mouth this time." "Are you still saving your virginity for me?" asked Dave. "You don't have to ask that. The answer will always be the same-yes." With the most vulnerable and adoring look on her face she said, "You can have it now if you want." "Next time...I am going to fuck you and take your virginity. How do you feel about that?" "If you want, I can come over tomorrow and you can..." Her voice trailed off in uncertainty as she spoke. "Say it or it will never happen." Dave said as he pulled his shirt over his head to stand naked before her. "You can make love to me," Shay said softly in her tiny, melodic voice as her head bowed and her eyes went to the floor. No one else on earth could have made her say those words. She had always dreamed of a fantasy wedding to no one else but Dave since the day she had first saw him. The girl had visions of being made a woman on their fantasy honeymoon, but she knew she would let Dave have her any day and at any time. There was no point in resisting his charm, charisma and...manliness. In a low and quiet voice Dave spoke, "who said I wanted to make love to you? I said I wanted to fuck you and take your cherry." With her head still bowed she simply said in a soft whisper, "you can." "I can what?" was the almost as quiet reply. Several seconds elapsed before Shay was able to work through her reluctance and whisper, "you can fuck me." "Good girl. Just so you know, I am going to fuck you from behind the first time." She submissively nodded her understanding. Conflicting emotions flooded her mind as the good side of her craved to have a beautiful wedding with her virginity intact and a perfect tropical honeymoon where her brand new husband (only Dave could ever be that man) would lovingly and caringly take her virginity while simultaneously she took his. Shay was so naïve that she could not even comprehend that the naked young man in front of her had lost his long ago. It simply never occurred to her. Sarah watched the whole scene and could not remember a time in her life where she was more turned on. She empathetically placed herself in Shay's position even though she fought hard against it. Dave was almost like a true son to her and yet her eyes found it impossible not to wander over his tall, lean body and linger each time on his very manly erection. She should stop what was happening immediately! It was her responsibility as an adult! Yet, she was as helpless as Shay... Dave reached down with sweet gentleness and cupped her chin with his right hand and lifted her head up until her mouth was aligned with his now aching cock. Playtime was over and now he needed relief! Little Shay was his brand new toy and he would take her virginity from her at his leisure-in the meantime he intended to tease her body until she became hopelessly addicted to the pleasure he gave. Again, his hand slid to the back of her head and pulled her lovely full lips onto the tip of his manhood-she did the rest. With a steady rhythm her mouth followed her hand which was wrapped around him and she simply concentrated on giving him a warm and wet place for him to fuck until he was satisfied. She submissively and adoringly worked his cock and was excited that he was going to cum in her mouth. They had played before, but this would be the first time he, or anyone, had ever shot his load onto her pink tongue. She began to feel his already large mushroom shaped head swell in her mouth at the same time his ragged breathing signaled his impending orgasm as he pumped in a short, steady rhythm...and a tiny movement to her left caught her attention... The Collection The socalled collection cubicle was about the size of an airplane lavatory. Enough room to stand inside it and that was about it. Forward of you was a flat, horizontal surface holding several objects; above that, a hi-def video screen. A screen that sparkled to life the moment the door auto-locked behind you. Seconds later you stood facing a very pretty face framed by blonde hair. She smiled at you—at anyone facing the screen, that is—and said: Hi there. Welcome to the Dyerman Fertilization Clinic. You are standing in one of our Collection Cubicles. Whether you're a specific or general donor, the procedure is exactly the same. In front of you you'll see several objects required for our collection today. On your left, in a sterile foil pouch, is a Dyerman-patented condom with a special receptacle end designed to maximize our collection of your sperm today. Dyerman condoms are custom-manufactured to be both 100% durable and reliable, yet as thin as possible to maximize sensitivity and your pleasure. Please make sure, when putting on the condom, to roll it up as far up your shaft as it will go. It's essential that no outside substance contaminate your collected sperm. Next to the condom is a small container of talcum powder for those of you who require it. Make sure to apply this only to the outside of the condom, and not to your bare penis. Again, uncontaminated semen is essential for our purposes. Next is a special Dyerman-patented tie, or noose. This is very important. After ejaculation we need you to carefully remove the condom from your penis. Make sure your penis is pointing downwards at the time. After removal, and holding the condom by the open neck opposite the receptacle end, we need you to carefully slide it through the noose, pulling it tight with your free hand. Once the noose is in place you may set the condom on the table and tighten the noose further, until you hear a click. The condom is now ready to be dropped inside the sterile plastic container to the right of the noose. Please seal the lid tightly. This collection container should already have your name and ID number written on it. If it does not for any reason, please press the red attendant button now. Thank you. The pretty face in the video refreshed her smile. Now, gentlemen! Now comes the fun part! Below this screen you'll see a menu card with five buttons beside it. After I'm done talking you'll receive a video prompt asking you to choose one of the five options for viewing while you're masturbating. Each sex video lasts about 15 minutes. Although you can terminate them at any time by pressing the button a second time. Option 1 is heterosexual sex; option 2 gay sex; option 3 lesbian sex; option 4 is bisexual sex. Press option 5 if you do not care to watch a sex video while masturbating. There is a sixth option, however, and this is our most popular one by far. Here's my pal Patti to explain... The image of one smiling, pretty blonde gave way to another. This one's hair was longer, and fell to her shoulders in curls. Instead of just from the waist up, you saw this woman's entire standing body. And what a body! She appeared to be wearing a tailored nurse's scrub patterned with flowers and teddy bears. That and nothing else. Her long, shapely legs were bare, as were her feet with their painted nails. Her smile brought deep dimples. She put a hand on her hip and said: Hi, guys! My name is Patti. I'm not a real nurse but I play one on TV he-he-he. On your far right you'll see a skimpy little piece of clothing. Pick it up, it won't bit you. Feels nice, doesn't it? It's a woman's panty. In fact... And here Patti lifted the hem of her top, revealing a small triangle of white microfiber... ...they're MY panties. And with a deft move, all in one stroke, Patti pulled down her panty, stepped out it, hopped really, and held it up head-high with thumb and forefinger. She was still smiling. That's right. I wore them earlier today just for you, and put them in your cubicle. Smell them if you want. Can you smell my warm body? My perfume? Anyway, guys, I thought you might like to enhance your pleasure over the next few minutes by—make sure you put your condom on first, and roll it up tight—by stroking yourself inside my panty. Just wrap it around your penis and go to town! If you like, while you're masturbating, you can fantasize that I'm your girlfriend, or your wife, or your nextdoor neighbor, and that I'm away for the weekend and you have the place to yourself, including my panty drawer. Or for you older guys, you can fantasize that I'm your adult daughter, or your niece. Whatever gets the job done, guys! It's for a good cause, don't forget. I know our war widows certainly appreciate your contribution! Just remember—this is vital—that you put your special condom on, and roll it up all the way, before rubbing my panty over your penis. One hundred percent uncontaminated semen is always our goal at Dyerman Fertilility Clinic, LLC. Enjoy! The screen flashed back to the original, nameless woman who, if anything, was beaming even brighter. She said: Thanks, Patti. Well, I think about covers it. If you haven't already, feel free to lower your trousers. You're free to undress entirely if you like, though that may be a little difficult in your cramped quarters. For those of you who haven't already finished, a tone will sound after 20 minutes. At that point you'll have two minutes to finish your ejaculation. So please keep that in mind. Please leave your collection container in the cubicle after you exit. It will be collected by one of our medical staff. For those of you who are general donors, please follow the exit signs to the lobby. Once your sperm collection has been verified, your name will be called and you'll receive your pro rata payment, based on the amount of ejaculate you produced. The unnamed woman held up a slender finger. Oh, and one final note. Your cubicles are completely soundproof. So please feel free to, shall we say, express yourself in any way you like. No one will hear you but yourself. The smiling woman gave a little wave. Nice chatting and...Happy masturbating from all of us at Dyerman! We appreciate your contribution! The screen went blank. I wondered if there was a spy cam in the cubicle. I wondered because I'd already violated rule number one, or whatever rule it was—the one about not rubbing the panty over your penis until you'd put the condom on. I'd been stroking myself in silky white microfiber throughout the last half of the video presentation. With a sigh I set it down. The video prompt came on. Please pick which sex video you'd like to watch while masturbating, or if you'd prefer not to— I punched the five button. I didn't need the help of a sex video to get hard. I'd been hard for days. The clinic recommended seven days of sexual abstinence prior to arrival, to maximize the amount of ejaculate. I'd gone eight. Eight days, three hours, 17 minutes. I was close to bouncing off the cubicle's confined walls. The panty was merely a bonus, the cherry on top. I tore open the foil packet and rolled on the first condom I'd worn in years. A decade or more? It brought back bad memories. I hated wearing condoms. I'd had sex with a few men over the past couple of years—months even—and every single one of them complained when I, still on my knees, got the condom out of the bedside drawer and rolled it down their stiff, glistening cocks—glistening with my saliva, that is. I knew where they were coming from, believe me, but my ad on Deanslist had specified "safe sex." So deal with it. Following instructions I made sure to roll the condom all the way up to the base of my shaft, which was shaved. As were my cum-plump balls. The receptacle end, some seven inches away, instead of tapering to a rounded point like a normal condom, ballooned out instead. So this was the patented Dyerman collection condom...(Big deal.) Now I was officially free to once again enshroud my stiff penis, in turn tightly enshrouded in the translucent white condom, in the seat of the woman's soft white panty. I took the blonde presenter at her word—about the soundproofed cubicle. I groaned at the touch, and not quietly. As I stood there warming up, so to speak, stroking myself languorously, eyes alternately rising ceilingward and staring at the specter of my pantied cock (I had 20 minutes!), my mind drifted to all the many times I'd done this in my own house, and, one memorable time, at my sister's. Standing in front of the large, rectangular, wood-framed mirror above my wife's chest-of-drawers. The top center drawer, her panty drawer, open. A particularly silky one selected to wrap around my bare cock, and to shoot my load in, and through in some cases, my wife on one of her frequent business trips in those days, or, more recently, out at the club where she worked part-time. Likewise standing in front of the mirror in our daughter's bedroom—the bedroom she'd reoccupied for a couple of years after college and 12 months spent in the horrible "real world." A war-torn world she claimed not to be able to handle—and who could blame her? At any rate, on those occasions when her mother wasn't home and she was out with friends, or staying over at some guy's house, I would avail myself of her panty drawer. Was there anything hotter? More taboo? Up to the point when I actually came in them (she wore a size 7, her mother a size 8) and fatherly guilt filled the sudden void. Then, in either case, mother's or daughter's, came the unblissful task of hand-washing the spermy panty in Woolite, and then putting it through a delicate tumble in the dryer before, an hour or so later, returning the defiled microfiber to its rightful drawer, as if nothing had happened. Normally, at this point in the proceedings, a wet spot about the size of a quarter would have formed on the seat of the panty enclosing the head of my cock. But of course, here, in my cramped collection cubicle, the patented condom precluded that. I was stroking myself harder now, my grip firmer, and I could feel self-control slipping away after—what?—only five minutes? Six? Eight days' worth was pent up inside me. It was crying out for premature release. I was crying out. A tear of drool escaped my lower lip. An explosion was imminent. I couldn't hold back. I let go with a shout, head once again rolling to the mirrored ceiling (security camera?). I panicked. Looked down. Was I...cumming in Patti's panty? A big sloppy mess? Then, as if awaking sweating from a nightmare, I remembered the condom. I watched its balloon end flood with thick oozing semen. Load after load of it (this would be lucrative!). Until I was spent. Done. Weak-kneed. Gasping for breath through my open mouth. A measure of disgust rising in me like a floodwater. I gulped. I was drowning... $165. My remuneration for my seven minutes' work (close to an hour if you count the before and after part). I was a little disappointed. On their website the clinic claimed they paid up to $250 for healthy, fertile ejaculate, depending on volume. Hadn't I just given eight days' worth? My all, so to speak? Or maybe the promise of $250 was just a come-on (literally and figuratively). A lure. Theoretically possible but highly improbable. Like throwing a round hoop over a square peg at the county fair. You lose (sucker). Next! Still, when you're unemployed, and have been for months, $165 is worth an hour of your time. It, along with war-ration coupons, would buy a few groceries... Don't tell my wife but I budgeted $15 of my earnings for a couple of beers at a divy bar I'd passed on the way to the clinic. Actually, a bucket of five brews was only twelve bucks, before tip, so I ordered a bucket. Figured I deserved it. About three beers in I realized the guy sitting two stools down to my right was looking at me. Again. Queer? I wasn't in the mood. Finally, though, I returned his glance. He seemed grateful for it. He smiled but his expression betrayed a measure of anxiety. He leaned left slightly, confidentially. "I saw you at the clinic, right?" he said. I didn't answer. "Picking up your payment afterwards?" I nodded. I didn't want to get into this. People might overhear. "How much?" he asked, leaning over a little more. I didn't like this guy. He looked a little crazy. I lied: "$185." "$200," he boasted, resuming his upright posture. "Hey, you think they really pay out $250 to anybody? Or is that just some kind of bullshit con-game?" I shrugged. "Couldn't say, man. This is my first time there." "Me too," my fellow masturbator-for-money said. He leaned over again. "And you think that girl in the video really wears those panties they give you?" "Patti?" "I sniffed the crotch of mine and they smelled like they'd just come out of the package." I downed the first third of my fifth and last bottle of lite beer. "Don't know," I winced. "Maybe she puts 'em on and takes 'em right off again. One after the other. I doubt if she has time to, you know, walk around in them all day." "True. Could be," he admitted. He drank. I drank. I finished my beer. Pushed my stool back. "Well-" "Hey," he said, leaning way over this time and speaking in a hoarse whisper the bar racket made almost incomprehensible. "If you'd ever like to get together and jack off..." I glanced nervously around the bar. He continued: "I got a whole drawerful of women's panties. Two drawers. Every kind imaginable. Cotton, lace, microfiber...even silk. All previously worn. I buy 'em on X-bay." "Um..." "We could trade phone numbers," he persisted, pulling out an ancient smart phone. "I'll take a raincheck," I said, backing away from the bar. "You don't want my number?" "I'll...see you next month at the clinic." (This was preposterous on many counts. What were the chances I'd run into this same loopy guy at the Fertilization Clinic a month or more from now on the same day at the same exact hour?) "Oh, right," he said, seemingly pacified. Then he burst off his stool in pursuit. He was at my ear. "We could go jack off in a bathroom stall together. Want to? Or," slapping my chest with the back of his hand, "better yet we could go jack off in my car. I have used panties in my glove compartment. My windows are tinted. We could do it in the parking lot. I'm up for it again, are you?" I fled. Back home I found my wife upstairs putting on makeup at the bathroom mirror, wearing nothing but bra and matching panties (the theme of the day). "You're working tonight?" I asked. "Sort of." "What's that mean?" "Mind your own business. How'd it go at the clinic?" "I don't know. About as expected." "How much did it pay?" "One-fifty," I lied, for the second time. My wife looked around sharply, tube of lip gloss in hand. "One-fifty? I thought you said they paid two-fifty." "Up to two-fifty," I corrected. She blew air through her half-painted lips. "Wanker! I told you not to jack off last week." "I didn't! I went nine fucking days!" passing along another lie, albeit a white one. "Shee! I could make double that in a single night. A single hour." "Don't start that kind of talk up again..." "It's true! You wouldn't believe some of the officers I get." "The what?" "What? Offers! Offers I mean!" "What can I say? It'll buy some groceries..." "Beer is more like it," my wife muttered. I winced. She capped her lipstick and asked: "How did Patti do?" "Fine. Good. She was part of the video." "Did she manage to keep her clothes on?" "Most of them," I replied. "There was a main presenter—another woman. She went through all the procedures. Then Patti came on and she, well...did the sexual part." "The what?" "It's kind of hard to explain," I replied. "I'm late." Makeup perfected my wife turned and shook a red-nailed finger in my face. "You make sure you send your niece an email telling her what a great job she did in the video." "I will." "And thanking her for letting you know about the employment opportunity at the clinic." Well, I wouldn't call it an employment opportunity... "You hear me?" "Yes!" "Zip me up." My wife had just slithered into a little—very little—black dress. In a half-hour's time she'd be sashaying down narrow aisles between tables at the club—the Officers' Club—where she worked three days a week. Sometimes four. Receiving, at least according to her, more than her fair share of offers from horny majors et al. with loads of cash in their pockets and the doom of service at the front awaiting them. "I'll be late! Don't stay up!" And out she went, still hopping into her heels, and leaving me stranded in our bedroom not four steps away from the center drawer where she kept her size 8 panties. The motherlode. Standing there blinking, waiting for my wife's car to back out of the drive, I almost wished I'd gotten the phone number of that horny guy at the bar. Almost. Patti could wait.