20 comments/ 44386 views/ 4 favorites Skipping the Turkey Baster By: Green_Gem Shivering against the cold biting winds Morgan blinked back her tears as the casket was slowly lowered into the grave. The first snowflakes speckled across the tombstones was confirmation that Old Man Winter was about to spread a blanket across the cemetery as they laid Ben to rest. A week before Christmas, he'd finally given up the struggle against inoperable cancer and slipped away. Morgan's blurry gaze turned to Josh who swayed unsteadily at the graveside as he fought to keep his emotions under control. Although he'd had time to prepare for the inevitable passing, the excruciating pain of loss and the harsh finality of death were now only beginning to hit home. The burial service completed, Morgan made her way towards Josh and hugged him tightly. He was her best friend and she had come to care very deeply for Ben as well. "Are you alright?" she whispered, "Just hang in there, okay." "Yeah," Josh choked. "You coming back to the house?" That was the last thing Morgan wanted to do. There was nothing that irritated her more than post-burial gatherings where people stood around drinking and eating while they tried to be polite, making small talk, sharing stories, particularly funny ones, about the deceased. To her it seemed a kind of trivialization of that special, but now, lost life. And while Ben and Josh had made no secret of their love for each other, there were still a few disapproving members on both sides of the family. She couldn't handle that. Not today. Not right now. "I'll see you later, when everyone's left," she said as she let go of his hand and trudged back to her car. The ride back into the city was slow. The streets, a sloppy mix of mud, slush and snarled traffic. With only two days left to Christmas the frenetic throngs of eager shoppers were everywhere, in cars, on the sidewalks, spilling out of brightly adorned stores laden with shiny colored packages. As the feathery flakes of snow drifted onto the windscreen, Morgan let her mind run through her memories of Ben. She knew there was comfort to be taken from reminiscing about the memories of a deceased loved one. It was sort of like finding a trunk of old clothes that hadn't been worn in years and letting them breathe as you touched the fabrics and reminisced about the events and times gone by. She recalled the first time she'd met Ben and the sparkle in Josh's eye as he introduced them. He had inadvertently let slip that he and Ben had spent the weekend together, and Morgan had breathed a sigh of relief that her good friend had finally come out of the closet. She'd long suspected that Josh with his never ending string of unsuitable girlfriends might actually prefer men, and she was thrilled that he'd found such a gorgeous match. Ben was tall and well built with dark hair and laughing brown eyes. He was driven by his energy and his passion for his job as a sales account executive. It was hard to believe that he had been tragically struck down in his prime, reduced to a shadow of his former self in the last six months of his life. Josh had been there for Ben all the time, lovingly nurturing, watching helplessly as he withered and weakened. And Morgan had been there for Josh. "But there were so many good times as well," Morgan said aloud, her voice breaking the monotonous sound of the wipers clearing a path on the iced windscreen. She recalled the dinners, the conversations, the silly arguments, Ben's crazy sense of humor, his love of antiques and the pleasure he got from sharing a good bottle of wine. The bittersweet feeling of nostalgia, ignited with the pain of a freshly made wound washed over her as she reminisced about all the loose ends that came together from remembering a special friend. Thank God, there would be no more pain and suffering for Ben, but ever present in the back of her mind were the nagging thoughts about Josh. He was devastated. How would he cope? Would he ever feel anything other than the chill of winter in his heart? *** Josh tried to cope by leaving. After the most painful Christmas of his life, he volunteered to take on a two month assignment, to set up the financial and auditing systems in a new operation that the multinational group of companies he worked for had acquired. It would be a shitty assignment, his Director had warned; living out of a hotel five thousand miles away from home, working amongst strangers, troubleshooting and grappling with system problems. It would be tough and lonely. He advised Josh against going. "Tough and lonely?" Josh said bitterly. "More tough than having constant daily reminders around me of a seven year relationship that I thought would last forever? More lonely than looking into an empty bottle of Jack Daniels and wondering why the fuck this happened to me?" He ran his hand angrily through his sandy-blonde hair and glared at his boss. "Lemme take the assignment. You'll be saving me. Trust me on this." *** Morgan struggled out from under a luscious dreamless sleep. Her body coming alive to the start of another day. Eyes still closed, she gave a sigh, then a soft whimper. She was trying to remain where she was, in a state of half sleep, but she sensed deep within her womb a tingle of anticipation, as if something quite exquisite was happening. She stretched her legs, tensed them and moved them a little further apart – and was fully awakened. Instinctively, almost imperceptibly, her pussy was grasping and letting go, grasping and letting go. With every contraction her grip strengthened and was held longer. Another whimper, another sigh. She could feel the beat of her heart quicken, as she writhed with the pleasure of every erotic sensation. Past her flat tummy and between her long tapered legs a head topped with short blond hair worked feverishly at her smooth pussy. The skilled tongue lapping around her slick and swollen clitoris while two fingers caressed inside her velvet depths. "Ahhh, fuck yes!" Morgan moaned as she grabbed at Lynn's hair and pressed her face tightly against her wet pussy. Morgan's body moved rhythmically to her own wanton thrusting as she rode out her orgasm, writhing and bucking against the tongue that had invaded her pussy. "Oh God," she groaned as she came and almost immediately came again, the second orgasm tripping over the first under her lover's practiced oral skills. "Good morning," Lynn said, moving up to kiss Morgan wetly on the mouth as she sighed in post orgasmic bliss. She positioned her slick matted pussy over Morgan's smoother but equally wet one and began to move, rubbing herself, faster and faster until she trembled and cried out in ecstasy. "Mmm, it is a good morning," Morgan groaned, stretching languidly as Lynn rolled off her and lay quietly until her breathing had softened. "And it's late," Lynn said reluctantly swinging her legs off the bed. "I've got two early morning appointments one after the other. Fuck! And this business of still having to go back to my apartment sucks!" Morgan raised herself up onto her elbow and swallowed hard, "Lynn, you know-" "Yeah, yeah, you're not ready for a live-in relationship. I know you need your... space," Lynn said wryly. "Its okay baby, I'm just being a bitch, but you know, that's me." At forty five, Lynne still had an athletic body and the energy of a woman fifteen years younger. She flashed Morgan a sultry smile as she zipped up her pants and stepped into her shoes. "But think of the benefits though if we moved in together. I could wake you like this everyday." "Oh God, I'd never get any writing done if I was this relaxed every day," Morgan said, trying to keep her voice light to mask the twinge of guilt she always felt whenever Lynn brought up their living arrangements. "Damn, I still can't tempt you huh?" Lynne sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair and struggled into her jacket. "I'm getting there, I just need ..." "Yeah baby, no sweat, "Lynn said bending down to kiss her again. " I better get home to shower and change. I'll call later if I survive the fucking day." *** The moving-in- together debate was not a new one, Morgan thought as she stood under the shower and lifted her face to the hot spray. It was one of two issues she and Lynn could not get resolution on. Ever since her divorce became final three years ago, she had lived alone. At first, she'd hated it, especially during the four terrible months when she had worked as an escort. A shudder of revulsion washed over Morgan at the thought of that time, that terrible period in her life when unable to find a job that paid enough to settle her debts from the marriage, she'd been forced to sell her body. She sponged herself hard as if trying to wash away the ugliness, the memories and shame of that time, but still it lingered and stung like an old wound. She had loved Colin, her husband, until he had disappeared leaving her with all the debts from their affluent lifestyle and a note that said he loved her, but not enough for a lifetime and he'd found someone else. Getting back on her feet had taken courage and endurance. The debt collectors had been unrelenting and four months of escorting, doing two to three men a night, except for the days of the month when she was menstruating, had brought in the money she'd needed to settle all the outstanding amounts and restart her life. The bile bubbled up in her throat as the memories flooded over her. Images of faceless and mindless fucks with hairy men, smooth men, ugly men, old men, fat men, young men and rough men. It was a blur of endless erections and condoms and lubricants followed by showers and baths trying desperately to scrub herself clean. And then, when she could finally surrender to the oblivion of exhausted sleep, the cocks would come out of the dark to torment her. "For fuck's sake, you've had my body, now leave my mind alone," she'd scream out aloud as she buried her face in the pillow, trying to blot out the images of the penises that haunted her mind. Cocks –just cocks, no faces, no bodies, not even money, just cocks. Light ones, dark ones, thin ones, fat ones, skew ones, curved ones, big headed ones, pointy ones, veiny ones, circumcised ones, uncircumcised ones - all dancing around victoriously as she struggled to sleep. But she was a survivor. That one thought got her through most days. Sometimes it was a like a mantra playing over and over in her head, blocking out the grunts as she lay pinned under the sweaty body of some thrusting stranger. "I will survive. I can get through this, I am a survivor." After her four months of shame and defilement she took solace in her freelance writing and with Josh's help managed to secure some research assignments which lead to her being appointed as a regular freelance writer for two magazines and a quarterly lifestyle publication. She had slowly put her life together and Lynn had been in it for the past year fulfilling her need for gentleness and the soft touch of a woman, but still, it was hard to imagine living with anyone again, trusting someone that much. She'd never be that naïve again, that vulnerable. What if they suddenly stopped loving her? Dumped her, left their debts as the only reminder of their relationship? It was not something she could consider. Rinsing the soap suds from her body, Morgan thought of the other issue that always came between herself and Lynn. It was the deep yearning to have a child of her own. She'd broached the discussion several times, tried to explain to Lynn just why it was important to her to have a baby. It had been a dream when she was married, which had never been fulfilled, and looking back on the circumstances, Morgan realized, not having a child then had been a blessing. But now, settled as she was, with all the love in the world to shower upon a child, it had become a deep aching need for her. The ideal, of course would be to have a baby with someone whom she loved, but the possibility of a long term straight relationship seemed remote. The fact was she loved Lynn, but her own baby would be a part of herself, someone whom she could nurture, watch grow up, share things with, be proud of, give a better life than she had had, and love unconditionally. During the baby discussions, Lynne always listened, but seemed unable to identify with the desire Morgan had and would defend her position by pointing out all the reasons why having a baby was not the smartest thing to do. To some extent Morgan could understand Lynn's personal reluctance. She'd been a lesbian all her life, not a stereotypical dyke though, but still her maternal instincts had never blossomed and taken hold of her. Added to that, she had broken into the realm of a male dominated world with her successful career as an architect. Morgan toweled off. It was all so complicated she mused, as she ran a brush through her hair and stared at herself in the mirror. A sudden thought came to her mind, one that rarely occurred to her. She was pretty. Not a beauty but cute with chestnut hair that framed her oval face and fell around her shoulders. Her bright animated eyes lit up her face when she smiled. She was tall - almost five feet ten and in good shape for someone who enjoyed more than just the occasional pepperoni pizza and chocolate praline ice cream. She threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater, tied her hair back into a ponytail and applied some mascara and lip gloss. At thirty four and still blessed with a flawless complexion she could get away with light makeup. She checked the time. Josh was back in town, she was meeting him for a late breakfast at Roma's and she had to get groceries - her fridge was shamefully empty. *** Morgan sipped her second cup of coffee and watched Josh fork the last bit of bacon and French toast into his mouth. He'd lost a little weight, but the dark shadows under his blue eyes had faded. "God, it's so good to have you back," she smiled, "And you're looking a whole lot better." "Yeah..." Josh replied. It seemed pointless to tell her how hard it was, how the memories and little reminders were always still there. Talking about it gave him that heavy as lead feeling that he'd tried so hard to shrug off. Morgan reached across the table to cover his hand. 'I know it's tough, but you know I'm here for you." "It's the damn emptiness," Josh said softly trying to blink back the wetness that threatened to pool in his eyes. "If only there was something more than just memories," he said wistfully. "I've become so much more aware of our mortality, of the fact that you can be snuffed out in a second without having achieved what you really want from life." Josh stared intently at Morgan, "If there is something I've learned from losing Ben, it's that there are no guarantees of endless tomorrows. You have to make each day count, go after what you want, don't wait around hoping and procrastinating." "Yeah," Morgan said softly, "You're right, but sometimes it's so difficult. I know, I want-" "What?" "Nothing." She said abruptly, overwhelmed by her thoughts." It's nothing. Forget it. We're talking about how you're doing." "Morgan, what's up with you?" "Okay, okay!" She took a deep breath, "I want to have a baby. There, now I've said it." she blurted. "Wow this is pretty sudden isn't it?" The old biological clock ticking? Morgan shook her head. "No, it's not sudden at all. It's been on my mind for a long time." She smiled self consciously, "But being in a relationship with a woman, doesn't exactly make it easy to achieve. I don't know if it's the clock ticking, but I am broody and I do want to have a child of my own. Does that sound so crazy...?" "No, not at all. Are you thinking about adoption?" Morgan shook her head again. "No, I want to be pregnant with my own child." Josh arched his eyebrows, "And what does Lynn say about this?" "That I'm insane. That motherhood will change everything." An intense look filled her hazel eyes. "Of course having a baby will change my life. I know there are sacrifices to be made, but I want to do it. It's worth it and of course there will always be place for Lynn in my life. I think she's just unsure of this, it doesn't matter how often I tell her." Josh sipped his coffee thoughtfully. "So, if you go through with this, you planning to use a Sperm Bank?" "No!" Her answer was emphatic. I know most lesbians who opt for pregnancy want the donor to be unknown, but I want to know exactly what I'm getting." Morgan smiled and her face lit up, "And, I want my child to know who its father is." "That's very generous of you, so you'll pick some guy. He'll masturbate in an empty mayonnaise jar and Lynne will slurp it up in a turkey baster and squirt it inside you." Josh said with a curious smile on his face. "Doesn't that just sound awful? Like a laboratory experiment," Morgan said wrinkling up her nose. "I don't know about turkey basters. They seem pretty unreliable to me, but I've read about Do-It-Yourself Home Kits, and of course clinical inseminations performed by a doctor. I've done a lot of research on the subject, believe me." "So, you really are serious, aren't you?" "Yeah," she said nodding and furrowing her brow. "I'm not sure about all the details yet; you know, about how I want it done and how I'm going to get the donor." She paused and then asked in a soft voice, "Do you know any men who might want to be donors?" "You mean like some gay guys?" Josh said grinning. "Straight or gay, but not promiscuous though," Morgan said in a matter of fact tone. "I'm not taking any chances." "A lesbian nightmare," Josh chuckled. "Having to deal with sperm is bad enough, but tainted – oh shit! You're right of course." He paused to think. "So, a monogamous guy, with an AIDS clearance. Any specific religious affiliations? Or you okay with mixing up the gene pool?" Morgan laughed at Josh's gentle teasing. "A mix is good, but there is something else," she said seriously. "What?" "Well, I know this sounds selfish, but I want someone who will not try and get custody of the child. He needs to understand that even though he fathered the baby, it's mine. It lives with me." "A deadbeat dad! Charming." "No, not exactly. I don't mind him seeing the child. Like I said," Morgan reflected thoughtfully, "I want my baby to know its father. My dad died when I was young and I've always felt that something was missing from my life, so if possible, I'd want the father in the child's life, but no custody," she said firmly. "I get the picture. Anything else?" Morgan laughed, "Well, while you're making the list - Tall, good looks wouldn't go amiss." She winked naughtily and sipped at her coffee. "Blonde and blue-eyed to balance your dark looks?" "Maybe..." "Can't say I know anyone like that," he said seriously, but I'll let you know if something comes to mind." "Good," she said, feeling a great sense of freedom at having shared her desire with Josh. "It's a hell of a commitment I know, but I'm ready for it, and you're right about going after your dreams, not putting off for tomorrow. That makes so much sense." *** During the next week Josh found his mind inexplicably drifting back to the conversation he'd had with Morgan. They had been best friends for years. He'd met her before she got married and had been there for her when she went through her divorce, during the black days of escorting when she'd become withdrawn and secretive and over the past year or so when she had become involved with Lynn. In all that time he'd never seen her look as happy and enthusiastic as she did when she talked about having a baby. Her eyes had sparkled with life and energy, and something more, something which Josh had come to recognize and understand so well. Hope. The look of hope radiating from her eyes resonated deeply with Josh and tore at his heart. He could give her this dream, make it real for her, but it wouldn't be without consequences, without pain. It wasn't just a deposit of his seed. It was more than that. It was a part of himself that he would be giving, that would grow, that would say Josh Mitchell was here. He'd never thought about the prospect of remaining childless, of not carrying on the family name when he had become involved with Ben. He'd believed he had everything, but now as he thought of the emptiness he wished that there had been some way Ben could have fathered a child. A child who carried his spirit and his lifeblood, a small part of Ben that had been immortalized, that he could still love, still hold. He blinked back the tears as he reached for the phone. Ben was gone forever, but maybe there was still some hope for Morgan and for him. She answered on the second ring and he was careful to sound casual as they chatted generally until he steered the conversation to what was on his mind. Skipping the Turkey Baster "Morgan, I've ...been thinking," Josh blurted, "Have you come up with a donor yet?" "No," she paused, holding her breath. "Why? Have you?" "Maybe," he swallowed hard. "Most of the stipulations are fine, but the deadbeat dad part is hard to wrap my mind around...You said it was okay for him to be in the baby's life, but what exactly does that mean? Birthday cards, controlled visitation?" "Well," Morgan replied softly," It would depend on the father. I mean, most donors don't really want to be part of the child's life, not in any great way like building a full relationship. If he did want to, that would be fine but I want custody of the child. Full custody. We'd have to draw up some kind of legal agreement, spelling everything out..." She heard Josh's soft breathing on the phone. "Why, who do you have in mind?" His voice sounded small. "I was thinking that I might be prepared to do it." "What?" Morgan whispered." Her heart skipped a beat. "Oh my God, Josh, you'd really do this for me?" "No," he said quietly. "I'd do this for us!" Oddly his words brought a sense of calm to her. She smiled into the phone. "Do you want to come around later to talk?" *** Morgan tossed and turned in bed trying desperately to shut her mind off from the thoughts that were racing through it like an express train. Josh had left hours ago, but still his decision was about to change her life irrevocably. She had never dared hope that Josh would volunteer to help her, but she was eternally grateful he had. She had always loved him on some level. Not as a woman might be in love with a man, or another woman, but she loved him dearly and it seemed almost destiny that he was going to father a child for her. Strangely when he spoke of it, his deep blue eyes lit up. It was as if he too needed this, needed the opportunity to create another small part of himself. Something that would have his blood and spirit coursing through it. He had been just as firm though as Morgan. While he could accept her need for custody, he wanted to be a part of the child's life. He was not doing it as a nice gesture to help her out. Morgan smiled in the darkness as she recalled his words, " This is not a be- nice- to- lesbian- day where I breed without emotional or financial costs and simply be content to have my lineage reared at a distance by doting females. That's not what it's about." He had agreed to them drawing up a legal contract giving her full custody, but with the proviso that he had visitation rights and reasonable access to the child. It was easier for Morgan to agree to, easier than she had anticipated, but while Josh spoke, the genesis of an idea she'd had, blossomed forth and spilled from her lips. "I know this is unorthodox for people like us..." She hesitated and a pink tinge flushed over her cheeks, "And I would never have even imagined it with anybody else, but we know each other well, care for each other..." She paused and then blurted it out, "Do you think it might be possible to... to try and conceive this baby normally?" "Normally?" Josh said, his eyes widening. "You mean, as in do the deed? Have sex? Fuck?" Morgan's cheeks flamed. Jesus, she was acting like a stupid virgin. She got technical and tried to let logic speak. "Well, the success rate on clinical insemination is not great, maybe a fifteen to twenty percent success rate, whereas maybe doing it conventionally during my fertile time is better..." Josh shifted uncomfortably in his chair. This was one aspect he hadn't considered. It wasn't that Morgan was unattractive, and he'd had plenty of heterosexual contacts before he'd met Ben. But this was seven years later, and Morgan was his best friend. Shit, regardless of whether he could even still perform with a woman, this was bound to change their relationship and the idea of duty sex was anything but arousing. "Morgan, I don't know..." Her heart slammed against her ribs. Truthfully, the idea frightened her as well even though it seemed the most likely to be successful. Although Josh was a good looking guy there were never any sexual vibes between them aside from an occasional flirt and an openness to talk about their relationships. But now, for one night, she had to see him differently, as a man with a cock who would put that cock into her. Maybe it wasn't such a great idea after all. "Okay," Josh said breaking into her thoughts. "Maybe we can try it conventionally once, but if it doesn't work, we go the artificial route." With sleep eluding her Morgan sat up in the bed, plumped up the pillows and flicked the switch on the small bedside lamp. It threw a soft glow over the bed and nightstand. Her eyes came to rest on a small photograph of Lynn who smiled happily from her frame, blue eyes shining with adoration as the wind blew back her highlighted blonde hair. God this was going to be complicated, Morgan thought. Complications she had never ever thought of came to mind. Like the possibility of losing both Lynn and Josh. Lynn, because maybe she wouldn't support the idea at all, or because of her anxiety of how their relationship would be after the baby. And Josh? God knows what he would actually feel like when he laid eyes on the baby for the first time. It was a cliché, she knew, but you could never know how you were going to feel about a child until it was physically there. Would he end up hating her for denying him full rights to his child? She glanced at the time on the clock radio, 3-25 am and her mind refused to shut down. Christ, problems always seemed insurmountable in the dark wee hours. She would talk to Lynn tomorrow, make her understand; make her see how important it was to have both her and a baby in her life. *** Morgan poured Lynn a glass of wine when she arrived at her apartment the following evening and casually unpacked Lynn's favorites; huge seedless grapes, clam chowder and dark chocolate rum truffles as she casually mentioned her discussion with Josh. "You actually want to do this?" Lynn exclaimed, visibly startled. "Yes, and Josh is perfect. He'd be a good father for any child, and he's promised to be involved but stay at a distance. He had a physical exam for work last week and is HIV negative, "Morgan said animatedly, "I couldn't hope for better and you know how much I care for Josh as a friend." Lynn's face rippled with concern." Yeah, but how do you know a couple of years down the line he doesn't try and get custody? I think it's better to have no contact with the father." "No way, he'll never do that. He's given his word and we'll sign preconception papers in front of a lawyer, get a proper contract drawn up." Lynn paced the room like a lawyer, looking for loopholes going over the logistics, the precautions, arguing, debating. 'I don't know," she muttered at last. "I'm still worried. I guess I would prefer you to think on this a while longer. It's not as easy as you think. Your life will change. This is a major decision." Morgan smiled and held Lynn's hands in her own. "I know this is life changing," she said softly. "But I'm thirty four years old and I want this. I want a baby, my baby." She paused for a second. "It won't take anything away from us, I love you too much, but I need to do this for me. I want you to be here forever, but I know I can't expect you to take on this responsibility. I know you have a career, your own plans, but I'd be so happy if you'd at least support my decision." "Oh shit!" Lynn grumbled, "You leave me no choice, I suppose. She hugged Morgan and mumbled into her hair, "Christ, now I'm headed towards being a Godmother." Morgan laughed, but she braced herself for Lynn's reaction to her next comment. This was going to be the hardest part. "There's one last thing," she said softly. "Yeah?" Lynn's tone was wary. The look in Morgan's eyes had alerted her. "I'm not going to go the artificial insemination route, you know, the do it yourself kit or the clinical insemination. Not at first anyway..." "Fuck!" Lynn spat bitterly as the realization dawned on her. "You're going to sleep with him? Jesus! I don't believe it, Morgan, thousands of lesbians conceive without fucking the guy. What's your problem?" The look of betrayal in Lynn's eyes spoke in louder volumes than her words. A wave of guilt washed over Morgan, but she stood her ground. "We've agreed to try naturally once and I hope to God it works." Morgan blinked back the tears that had sprung to her eyes. "Please Lynn is the notion of wanting my only child to be born out of care and closeness rather than some cold clinical, contrived exchange of body fluids so bad?" Imagine one day having to tell a child they were conceived from dad's jerk off spunk and mom's big syringe? God, that's awful shit for a kid to digest. It sounds like some laboratory experiment with rats or guinea pigs. I really don't want that. Please..." "Whatever," Lynn shrugged. "It's your body, your life, your decision." She gathered her jacket and bag. "God, Lynn! This is not about phallic worship, you know that! Not after what I've been through." "Yeah," Lynn said cynically, as she reached the front door. "I do know, and that's why I just can't understand this." The slamming of the door resonated in Morgan's ears. She and Lynn had never had an argument like this, one which looked so impossibly difficult to resolve. Tears spilled from Morgan's eyes but she wiped them away angrily. She was a survivor. She could do it, alone if necessary. She could do this. She reached for the telephone and dialed Josh's number. "I'm ready to move on this." "You talked to Lynn? She's okay?" "No, she's uptight, but we're going ahead." "Morgan," Josh said soothingly, "Don't rush this. Get things sorted out with her first. Relationships are important, don't blow it. There will be time later." "I don't know if she will ever accept this..." "You mean the sex?" Josh sighed, "I don't have a problem with the mayonnaise jar, remember I haven't been with a woman in seven years..." "Oh shit," Morgan said, "What a fucking pathetic pair we are. Me, the divorced ex-escort turned lesbian and you, the never quite straight guy with the string of female conquests but the one true male love." She heard Josh's soft laugh on the other end of the receiver. "But we're going to try making a baby the conventional way. I'm ovulating next week." "Damn, so soon?" Josh said with a nervous laugh, "I'll have to up my intake of Vitamin B and pumpkin seeds!" "Great, come for dinner on Tuesday night. I'll cook." *** Morgan paced the living room, threw a couple of pillows from the floor onto the couch and transferred a pile of magazines to a chair in the kitchen just as the buzzer sounded. She felt her heart leap to her throat. She was tingling with nerves. It had been one thing to plan it but a completely different thing to go through with it. She had dressed casually in black jeans and a white tee shirt that ended just above the waistband. Her hair was drawn back into a ponytail. "It's me, can I come up?" Josh said. Morgan buzzed him up and then ran back to the kitchen, turned the heat down on the pasta, stirred the meat sauce, added some more oregano and tried to steady her breathing. She felt drained and anxious, Lynn had refused to take her calls all week and somehow the whole idea felt as if it were spiraling out of control. She glanced in the hall mirror, shook out her dark hair and nervously applied some lip gloss as the doorbell rang. He was casually dressed in khakis and a blue open necked shirt that accentuated his eyes. Morgan couldn't help but notice the way he looked her over and she felt a twinge of self consciousness. Maybe the short tee shirt showing a glimpse of her flat stomach was too blatant. After all, this wasn't exactly a date. "You look nice," he said as he handed her a bunch of long stemmed yellow roses. "Oh my God," she gasped staring at the perfect blooms. She couldn't remember the last time anyone had given her flowers. The sweet gesture touched her deeply but she tried to make light of it. There was enough pressure already, no need to go and get all emotional. "They're gorgeous," she said smiling, "but you really shouldn't have Josh – you know I'm a sure thing already." "Yeah," Josh said producing a bottle of wine as well, "but I figured flowers and wine ought to do it for both of us." They both laughed and the tension was broken. "There's a bottle already open on the counter," Morgan said. "Pour yourself a glass. I'll check on the food, it's just about ready." She got out a cylindrical glass vase and dunked the roses in with water as Josh spun a stool around at the counter and poured himself a glass of wine. He watched her whip up vinaigrette for the salad. "What can I help with?" he offered. "Nothing, everything's done," Morgan said quickly as she grated some Parmesan, "Well, later, you're going to help..." She felt silly and awkward for saying it but it was almost like a much needed reassurance for her. They ate dinner and sipped their wine slowly. The conversation was general but there was no doubt about what was occupying their thoughts. "Everything okay?" Josh asked softly. "Yeah," she lied. There would be no talk of Lynn tonight. She shifted in her chair and looked at him. He was her best friend, but even more than that, she trusted him. It had been a long time since she had put her trust in anybody whose gender started with an M. The haunting strains of Sade's voice hung in the air. "You wanna dance?" Josh suddenly asked. Morgan looked at him in surprise. "We're eating," she stammered, "You don't have to do this, really." "I know I don't have to do this?" Josh said scrunching up his brow. "But, I want to do this." The music was soft and languorous, and as much as she tried to deny it, part of her just wanted to be held. Without her saying yes, he took her hand and pulled her from the chair. She wanted to hold back. Damn, this wasn't a date, but a soft, surrendering voice inside her said, "Just go with it Morgan. He's okay. You know you can trust him." At first they just sort of stood there, swaying stiffly. It had been a long time since Josh had been this close inside a person's intimate space, and especially a woman's. She felt good, softer than he'd imagined and he let himself relax into her, inhaling the freshly washed fragrance of her hair as her head touched his shoulder. He closed his eyes and tried not to think, at least not for a while. Instead, he let himself drift to a real nice place where he felt love and hope and dreams were still there to reach for. Inexplicably a tiny tingle raced down Morgan's spine, as Josh put his arms around her and held her close. It was one she didn't recognize anymore, feeling the strength of a masculine body and breathing in the freshly washed scent of a man. *** Josh's breath shuddered from his lungs and his heart hammered against his chest. Morgan's lips were dry and his were too as they brushed against each other shyly, nervously, pretending that there could be a passionate and satisfying ending to this. Their mouths met in quiet exploration and Josh took the initiative pushing out his tongue to part her trembling lips, coating them in moisture. Morgan had been with many men in her life but kissing was not something she did readily. It was too intimate, and something she kept for those whom she loved. In the dimly lit room she was feeling the beginnings of panic as her thoughts flew to Lynn and their passionate lovemaking. She tried to block the image from her mind and let her tongue merge with Josh's. Despite the conflict in her heart, she had to unshackle her feelings. She knew how to make a man feel good, she'd done it for less before and Josh was here because of a crazy conspiracy that she had created. Right now he was playing his part and all she had to do was play hers. She moved towards him, her breasts flattening against his chest as her hands moved to his waist, over his hard stomach and down lower. She heard his sharp intake of breath as she sank down to her knees. All the time she held him close, falling down his body like water in a shower. Josh's throat was dry. His stomach was knotted tighter than a hangman's noose. He'd never felt like this. It was a combination of confused longing and utter dread. He tried to swallow as he felt the first stiffening of his cock while her lips brushed against his shirtfront and the buckle of his belt, coming to rest millimeters from the part of him she wanted. For long seconds, Morgan stayed there, her hands on the taut muscles of his bottom, pulling him toward her as her cheek lay against his pants. The material was warm, radiating the heat of what was now struggling against the tightness of his shorts. Morgan could tell he was big. Perhaps bigger than she had ever known. Suddenly a wave of fear washed over her. Soon his cock would be inside her body, crammed into places it could hardly go, and she would split herself apart for him. Josh reached down and fumbled for the opening, freeing himself. Morgan leaned back as it sprung at her and the bottom fell from her stomach when she saw it. It was long and so thick. She breathed in the musk of his maleness and her head took flight above the steamy moment. Oh my God, Josh," she stammered, the panic bubbling up in her voice, "I can't." Josh looked down at her, his expression quizzical. "What's the matter? He whispered, suddenly terribly self conscious of his arousal. "I'm sorry," she said as the tears welled up in her eyes. "I feel so stupid, but I just can't do this now. I'm so sorry." Josh tucked himself away and tried to hide his embarrassment as he put his arms gently around her. "Don't apologize, its okay. You can't force these things. They take time and patience." But even as he said the reassuring words, he knew that no amount of either would make this happen for Morgan. Her heart desperately wanted one thing while her head wanted another. There was no way that they would ever be able to make love unless Lynn was there. It was the most bizarre situation that he'd found himself in but he would call Lynn tomorrow and give it a try. If she was not interested, Morgan would have to settle for the turkey baster method. *** It had been a strange and difficult week for Morgan. Her evening with Josh had made her feel uncomfortable and restless and she had not spoken to him since. Whether there would ever be another attempt, she did not know. Josh had reluctantly agreed to try it once the conventional way but she had screwed up. How weird things had turned out, she thought wryly. He was the one that they were worried about. Could he get it up for a woman? Would he be able to perform? Fuck, she thought angrily, there was no problem with him from the rock hard cock he'd produced. Clearly he was more bi than she was. But one good thing had come out of the week; she mused as she lay back and surrendered to Lynn's passionate kisses. After almost ten days of avoiding her, Lynn had called and they had patched things up. She hadn't brought herself to tell Lynn about her abysmal evening with Josh, she'd have to think about how to approach it, but for now she just wanted to lay back on Lynn's big bed, surrounded by candles and revel in her caresses. "Baby, I've missed you so much," Lynn moaned as she cupped Morgan's breast and took the hard tips in her mouth. "And I've missed you too, so much," Morgan sighed as a shiver of longing and excitement streaked through her body from the way Lynn was sucking her nipples. Her own hands caressed the older woman's tight body and she groaned as Lynn's tongue trailed down her belly, leaving a train of small kisses until she reached the wetness between her legs. "Mmm, you did miss me baby," Lynn smiled as she gently parted the dripping folds of Morgan's pussy and slipped a deft finger inside. She rubbed the finger back and forth, covering it with the juices of her efforts. Morgan groaned and moved her body, responding to the thrusts of her lover's hand. A second finger soon followed the first adding to the power of her penetrations as Morgan squirmed even more at the ripples of delight that tore through her frame. Lynn worked her fingers harder and harder, finally adding a third to the mix and bringing forth a lustful cry from Morgan. Skipping the Turkey Baster "Oh, fuck that's so good! More baby, more." Lynn pulled her fingers from Morgan just as the doorbell sounded. "Ignore it please," Morgan gasped as she clung onto Lynn in fevered passion. "I need you to fuck me baby. Please!" "I'll be right back, angel. Don't move a muscle," Lynn said disentangling herself from Morgan's embrace and shrugging on a silk robe. Morgan heard the sounds of muffled voices before Lynn returned to the candle lit bedroom. Following closely behind her was Josh. "Oh my God," Morgan said, pulling the sheet up over her breasts. What's going on here? "What does it look like, honey?" Lynn said crawling back onto the bed and tugging at the sheet. "Josh called me yesterday and tonight we're all going to make a baby. That's what's going on here." Morgan felt her heart skip a beat and flood with gratitude and love at Lynn's words and the kindness of Josh. Her eyes blurred with tears and Josh smiled boyishly at her while he unbuttoned his shirt. "Don't let me interrupt you girls," he said with more confidence than he felt, "I'll know when to join in." Lynn took Morgan in her arms and kissed her once more, this time hard and passionately. "Forget he is here, she whispered into Morgan's ear. "It's just you and I making love." In the space of a single heartbeat, Lynn was between Morgan's thighs and she picked up with her tongue where her fingers had left off. With slow licks she explored the swollen folds of Morgan's drooling pussy, pressing her tongue just inside, just at the top of Morgan's vagina, then with a flattened tongue she began to lap at her clit. "Oooh Fuck, "Morgan hissed as flashes of heat coursed through her. Lynn pulled the enlarged clit into her mouth and sucked it firmly while rolling it against her tongue. Morgan arched her back and pressed her pussy hard against Lynn's insistent mouth as intense waves of pleasure engulfed her. Her breathing was ragged as her body went rigid and a thunderstorm of ecstasy raged through her. "Oh God, Oh God," Morgan cried as her pussy spasmed uncontrollably. Josh stared wide eyed at the scene before him. In one sense he felt like a voyeuristic intruder, but on the other hand, watching the women make love had been deeply intimate and had gotten him surprisingly hard. He undressed quietly in the shadows of the room and watched as Morgan took Lynn's face in her hands and kissed her tenderly. "I love you, Lynn," she whispered. Lynn smiled, "Was that good, baby girl? she said as she reached into the drawer of the bedside table. She removed a harness and a dildo which she attached to it. The dildo was flesh colored and was carefully covered with the softest kid leather, stretched tautly, making it feel almost exactly like human skin, the skin of an erect cock. It looked to be about seven inches long but it was not overly thick. Morgan eyes widened as she watched Lynn strap the contraption on. They had never used a strap on dildo before. It had always been tongues, fingers and hand held toys. But looking at Lynn with the realistic looking cock jutting from her thighs made her feel a twinge of apprehension. "God, that looks weird," she croaked as she watched Lynn fist the appendage like it was a real cock growing from her body. "Trust me, baby, you're going to like it, she said as she climbed back on the bed. And Josh is going to like it too." "Josh laughed but his eyes were fixed on the veiny shaft and the big mushroom head. He felt a little light headed. This was one weird scene and he was getting harder by the minute. He watched as Morgan lay back on the bed with her legs spread wide open. Lynn ran her hands over Morgan's slit and inched the tip in slowly. "I want you to relax, my angel. This is going to make you feel good, but you just need to get used to it, okay?" "Okay," Morgan said as she closed her eyes and let her body relax. Her pussy was still slick from her orgasm and she inhaled sharply as Lynn pushed her hips forward to sink the dildo into her tight tunnel. As it inched in, it caressed the walls of her pussy and Morgan couldn't help but let out a sexy moan. It felt incredibly good; it filled her without stretching her and she found herself moving her hips towards Lynn's urging her all the way in. When Lynn's mound bumped against hers, she knew she had taken the entire length of it. "Is it good baby?" "Yeah, it is," Morgan groaned. "Great, because now I'm going to fuck you," Lynn grinned as she began to thrust the cock in and out of Morgan. The wet sounds of their fucking reached Josh's ears and he inadvertently began stroking his cock slowly. The sight of the juice covered cock moving slickly in and out of Morgan's pussy had him riveted and the scent of female arousal hung thickly in the air. Lynn shot a quick glance in his direction and nodded with satisfaction at the rock hard cock that he was fisting. Morgan was responding well, slamming her hips against Lynn to meet each deep thrust. "Harder, fuck me harder," she groaned as the sensations began to grow. "Turn over baby," Lynn said, withdrawing the glistening cock from her now gaping pussy. "I'm going to fuck you from behind and you can play with your clit." Morgan did as requested, getting up on her haunches and presenting her slick swollen pussy for Lynn's cock. She moaned again as she felt it slide into her. Lynn kept pumping at her while she gestured for Josh to come over. He approached with his cock rampant. In the little slit at the top, a small pearl of precum had gathered. Josh had not really expected too much foreplay from the women but the visual display with the life-like cock had excited him. There was no doubt in his mind that he could fuck Morgan to orgasm. Lynn's eyes met his as she withdrew her cock. "Come do your thing, stud," she said softly, "And don't hurt her, or I'll kill you." Morgan looked back as Josh slid his cock slowly up and down her slit, soaking it with her juice and parting her labia. He pressed the tip of it into her entrance as Lynn slipped her hand to the front of Morgan's pussy and stroked her clit. "Oooh," that's good," Morgan groaned in disbelieving delight. Her eyes were tightly shut and her face an intense mask of concentration as she felt Josh inch his cock into her slick pussy. He was thick and the walls of her engorged cunt stretched to accommodate him. He grunted in pleasure as he felt the warm tightness wrapped around his cock and she sighed in pleasure to finally feel the bursting male flesh that would hopefully make her dream come true, deep inside her. Josh felt a maelstrom of emotions as his cock slid all the way into Morgan. He knew exactly why he was doing this, but he couldn't help but think about Ben. The last person whom he had been intimate with was Ben and it had been so very different to this. Yet despite that he was caught up in a strange kind of yearning tonight. He had a need for intimacy with a warm body and a receptacle for his sudden lust. He thrust deeply into Morgan and lost himself for a moment in her tight wetness. The fires in each of their bodies merged, forming a single inferno. It was something that none of them could deny. Josh and Morgan were now one being, with only one goal. The sensation of cool gel being smeared between his butt cheeks brought him from his reverie. "What the fuck-" "Relax Josh," Lynn said soothingly," Just a little something for you as well, and to make sure you shoot a full load." Josh suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable; With Ben he was usually a top, although he had occasionally bottomed as well. But now, his ass was about to be ravaged by the girlfriend of the woman he was fucking. The scene was getting more and more bizarre, but he had come this far, and the idea of having that life-like cock ream him to ecstasy was not entirely unpleasant. Lynn gave him little opportunity to resist; she had greased the dildo up and was pressing the tip against Josh's slick hole. His heart skipped a beat and he braced himself, ready to receive the head that was pressing insistently against his entrance. He groaned deeply as Lynn pushed it through his tight anal ring and it slid all the way inside him. The fake cock was the perfect length to rest against his prostate and he growled in pleasure as the shaft rubbed against the bundle of sensitive nerves. "Oh Jesus," he groaned. It had been a long time since he had taken a cock and he had almost forgotten the exquisite pleasure. As if reading his thoughts, Lynn began to move deeper, harder, and faster. Each pummeling thrust from Lynn caused him to drive deeper into Morgan. He heard her cry out and felt her pussy clench around his cock just as his ass started to tighten and loosen spasmodically around Lynn's cock. She pounded him relentlessly and he screamed as he tripped over the edge, his come erupting hotly like a spurt of fire from a rifle barrel deep inside Morgan. She held him tightly reveling in the power of his throbs lodged inside her and when it was over they all slumped onto the bed shaking uncontrollably. "And three makes baby. Hopefully!" Lynn said relieved. *** Nine months later, Josh gripped the steering wheel with both hands and silently cursed the traffic that had ground to a halt in front of him. The Christmas parade was launched every year from the Library Gardens and he had completely forgotten that it was headed through his neighborhood tonight. With floats and fire trucks and marching bands it never changed. Santa always brought up the rear in a huge sleigh and was escorted by six bikers dressed in reindeer outfits. It was usually a festive evening and the carolers were out in full force despite the bad weather. A light drizzle had begun to fall and snow was predicted for later. For Josh it had been a tough day; it was the first anniversary of Ben's death and he had planned to spend the evening quietly at home with a bottle of wine and his thoughts. But he had no sooner got back from work when Lynn had phoned. Her usual calm voice had taken on a tinge of hysteria when she had told him that Morgan had gone into labor. "Labor?" Josh said, surprised by the news. "But she said her due date was after Christmas!" "Yeah, well doctors are great for guesstimates. They never know for sure and believe me, she's been here all day with pains. She's calling for you now. You better get over here fast!" The last of the floats passed by agonizingly slowly and the traffic finally began to inch forward. The hospital lights came into view and Josh breathed a sigh of relief. He laughed as he ran breathlessly up the stairs to the maternity ward. Who the fuck would ever have thought he'd be here, with his child being born. Lynn met him in the reception area. "Better late than never," she growled. Josh looked around, "Where's Morgan? Is she okay?" "She's better than okay. She's just delivered a healthy bouncing baby boy. They're cleaning them both up now." "A boy," Josh whispered in excitement. "I have a son?" "Yeah, we all have a son, don't forget that, "Lynn chided. Josh laughed softly. "Yeah, we all have a son," he said as he put his arm around Lynn and walked into the ward where Morgan was propped up in bed with the baby. She smiled radiantly, "Say hello to Junior," she said to Josh. Josh felt a lump of emotion well up in his throat when he looked at the baby boy. He was so tiny but absolutely perfect. "He's beautiful," he croaked. "Do you have a name for him?" "Well," Morgan said, "He has rather a long name. Meet Benjamin, Joshua, Lyndon Hunt." She looked at the awed expressions on Josh and Lynn's faces. He is named after all of those who I have loved, and he carries my surname. I think it is a fitting name for a very special little boy, don't you?" "Oh fuck," Josh said, blinking hard. "You're going to make me cry now." 'Yeah, me too," Lynn agreed. "Thank you Morgan," Josh said softly, "for giving him Ben's name. That really means so much to me, and it's incredible that he was born today. It's almost like Ben had a hand in all of this, like he is with us..." Morgan smiled and blinked back her own tears of happiness. "He is with us in spirit," she said. "Now, are we're all going to be together for Christmas. You know a real family gathering?" Josh nodded, "Wild reindeers wouldn't keep me away," he joked. "Actually, Morgan I have a special gift for you. A sort of combined baby and Christmas gift..." He laughed. "It's kind of symbolic now, but I bought it the day after our 'failed attempt' at making Benjamin." "Oh yeah, and what is it?" Morgan asked. "Would you believe a turkey baster...?" THE END Thank you for taking the time out to read this story. I would appreciate your votes and feedback which I will always reply to if there is an email address.