1 comments/ 3773 views/ 0 favorites PLUR-dahar By: cowboy109 There are 256 rooms. Every room is identical: Two InvaCare CS7 beds, oxygen supply hookups, a chair with blue confetti upholstery, and a Sony TV under the ceiling. All the likeness could have the monotony of being trapped inside a nightmare. Yet, the people filled the rooms with emotion. If you really think about it, humans are these skinny poles, perhaps 5-6 feet tall. The bed is definitely twice their size and triple their weight. Yet, these small space absorbers can fill the whole room. Sometimes, their intensity is so strong that one could swear that the color in the room changes to paint the room red with anger or serene with blue. Scents could be so overpowering to take your breath away. Some patient families filled the room with a scent of spice, cinnamon once. Kandace flipped the switch to turn the yellow light above the door on. With the back of her hand, she pushed the hand sanitizer to squeeze out a cloud of white onto her hand. On automatic her hands wrung themselves, while her hip pushed open the door. Her long brown hair swung around with the move. "We've discussed this, mom. It's not normal to wet your bed!" a forty-year old woman with drab clothing, yet bright red high heels yelled. Her chest was rigid, holding in the air. Her face had grayed from anger. "I don't know who you are and why you are yelling at me. I'm not stupid. I should be at work right now," barked a white haired, skinny woman in a hospital gown who was fighting to shake the blanket of her bare foot to climb over the railing of the hospital bed. "I don't understand why this blanket is holding onto me? It's trying to imprison me." Kandace dashed forward, bouncing in her white sneakers. Being all day on her feet, having top of the line sneakers was her pride, like a jungle warrior might have a rare bowie knife to bestow that extra edge in battle. Moving around all day also kept her body trim without an ounce of fat. "Ms. Wellington, I am Kandace. Your boss as called and asked us to run some checks. He wants you to be in top form for the upcoming project," Kandace cheeks rouged a little. They always did that when she was lying. "He did?" asked the frail woman in the hospital bed. "But, I haven't finished the floor design for... it's that word... it sleeps my tongue... I can feel it... I'm not stupid." The presumable daughter eased out of her wide stance with the arms in the side to sink into the blue confetti upholstered chair with her face falling into deep chagrin. An inhale rose out of her tight chest as a snap for oxygen. "Oh, you are an architect," exclaimed Kandace with an overly squeaky voice and big grin. Her cell phone vibrated. A task list flashed on it. "Antibiotics rotation due for room 103a. Call button in room 105b. Day shift due in 20 minutes." She slipped the black phone back into the pockets of her blue drawstring scrub pants. "Yes," said Ms. Wellington proud. "Here, take my card. Our firm also has a residential building division." Ms. Wellington found her purse on the nightstand behind her. It was tiny, white little thing with creases that suggested it was older than the Civil War. Perhaps, three packs of cigarettes would fit into it. The scrawny, wrinkled fingers fumbled around in it. Kandace licked her lips looking again at the task list on her phone. The daughter buried her face in her palms not being able to watch her mom struggling to search her purse. "Just a little longer," said Ms. Wellington with an angelic smile of a little girl trapped inside of a decayed body. Her long hair had thinned so much that it had to be carefully combed. Kandace placed her hand lovingly on the shoulder of the old woman. There wasn't a shred of flesh were the deltoids should have been. The face on the old woman melted. "You are so kind, child," Ms. Wellington said, and a tear rolled down her face. "I'm not working anymore, am I?" "No, Ms. Wellington. You are seventy-two years old. It's unlikely that you are still working. Your daughter loves you a lot," Kandace explained slowly, while checking the IV line on Ms. Wellington's wrist. She tucked on the heart rate sensor to ensure a good fit. The daughter let her arm sprawl open on her lap. The tension had given way to long-term exhaustion from caregiving. "It's so sad. It's so sad. It's so sad," repeated in Kandace's head as she looked between the two. Her fingers swiftly checked off boxes on the clipboard, while the phone vibrated again. "Have you had a bowel movement today?" The daughter shook her head in place of Ms. Wellington. A last loving look were all the blessings that she could send the two before she had to swiftly walk, carefully restraining herself from running, out of the door. She flipped of the on-call light. Her sneakers were squeaking as she turned to a sprint to room 103a. She flipped the on-call light no. She pushed down the handle. Mr. Rosen was listening to Jazz music playing an air saxophone. He was a gentleman with a British silk morning robe wrapped over his hospital gown. His gray hair was carefully groomed, as if he were ready to step of an airplane and wave at an audience of press photographers. "I ain't got anything else to do all day here," he'd explain his habit of keeping a meticulous appearance. "How are we doing today, Mr. Rosen," asked Kandace putting a little extra pep into her voice, eying the early morning gray outside of the window. "With you, my dear, it's all sunshine," belted the old gentlemen with a charismatic smile. "How is your pain on a scale from 1 to 10 today?" asked Kandace taking the little come-on with a wink of her right eye. "Just splendid. There is no pain at all," said Mr. Rosen. He was the only senior man who had this meticulously trimmed nose hair. He must have gotten up two hours before sunrise to be ready for her daily morning visit. Kandace pulled down his sheets and untied his silk robe. "You know, I have to check your abdomen," said Kandace, while her fingers swiftly peeled the clothing away from Mr. Rosen." Her fingers were soft and youthful. "Of course, my dear," replied the old man with a mixture of haste and lust in his eyes, being filled up by a young woman. The abdomen felt hard like a brick. "So, you don't have any pain today," asked Kandace questioningly, while she worked her way through the abdominal quadrants with soft double handed presses. Mr. Rosen's eye corners twitched down and he sharply inhaled air. His face was tensing up to struggle against the involuntary pain reflex. "Maybe, a little," he admitted. "You have to be honest with me, Mr. Rosen. We can't treat you if you don't tell us what the truth is," lectured Kandace. Mr. Rosen shook his head in frustration and pressed out the words, "If I were really honest, I'd tell you to elope with me to Vegas and get married." Kandace typed an alert to the on-call doctor on her phone, while she warned Mr. Rosen. "This is serious. Only twenty years ago, someone with your infection would have died." "Yeah, I know," bawled Mr. Rosen. "I just don't know how to live anymore without having a woman smile at me. Nothing tastes right anymore, when I can't smell a woman. It makes my heart feel so alive to be close to the feminine energy. Oh, my Sandy..." Mr. Rosen was panting from hyperventilation. He turned his face away to hide it. "I know to a pretty, young thing like you, I'm only an old fart." He pinched his eyes with his hands trying to plug up the stream of tears. Kandace carefully touched his free hand, and told him warmly, "You know that I appreciate all your gallantry, Mr. Rosen. It makes my day to be treated special. And I'm sure, you'll find a new love." She had learned inside of every asshole in the street is a scared, little child that simply wants to be loved. Time and again, the façade of every hard ass breaks when the face personal illness and the sense of loneliness and abandon that comes with it. Her phone double-vibrated. "Mr. Rosen, I would love to stay. Unfortunately, I got paged and have to see another patient. Here are your antibiotics," said Kandace. She placed the pill on the bed side table. She quickly checked of boxes on the chart and initialed it. She whirled out of the room. Passing the nurse desk, the daytime shift nurse Sylvia looked up from her computer and called out, "Your behind on the charts. I'm done covering up for you!" "I'll get 'em to you, asap," called Kandace back without slowing down. 215 days, it had been 215 days that Kandace had been a nurse. 129 students had started studying with her. All but 35 had dropped out by the end of the AP classes in biology and sciences. Only 12 had made it through the training program. They all had developed a caffeine baseline. Every day, she felt like she fucked up. Every day, she stayed long behind her shift to catch up on tasks. Every day, she came home and felt like crying for all the burden that she collected from her patients. And every day, she knew that she made a difference in many lives. Everything, she did meant something. She was the light in the darkest days of her patients. And that's why she wasn't going to crawl into the bathroom and cry. That's why she was going to the next room and do her best. Something knocking hard onto the ground made Kandace skip a step. Her senses were sharp like a hunting hound hearing a branch snap in the underwood. Doing a ninety degree turn on the balls of her feet, she opened the door to the next room. There was a blood everywhere. A smear line of blood was above the bed. The sheets were running with bright red, liquid blood. Ms. Wellington's hand was red. Blood was smeared on the railing of her bed. She had one leg already on the ground. Her arm was raised grotesquely into the air. The old woman was struggling to get out of bed. Her gown had caught the opposite railing and was holding her back. "Hold, Ms. Wellington, let me help you," Kandace bit her lip. Her eyes looked feverishly. The black eyeliner, that had given her a beautiful, professional look, made her look haunting now. Throwing herself full body into the struggle, Kandace grabbed Ms. Wellington's ankle that was stirring in the air with one hand and the bleeding hand by the wrist. Kandace looked around. The daughter was nowhere to be found. "I'm late for work," barked the old lady. "My billing rate is triple your billing rate. Let me go, you little intern-child!" "CODE GREEN," yelled Kandace out into the hallway. She could have easily overpowered the old irrational person. Kandace had gone to a few kickboxing classes. The problem was that Ms. Wellington's body was easy to injure. Kandace struggled to keep the old lady from hurting herself. Kandace carefully eyed the foot stirring over her head and the blood running closer to her hold. During the nightshift, there were at most three people on the large floor. They could be anywhere. "CODE GREEN," repeated Kandace again, steading herself. Bertram was the first to appear in the door. He was the tall black nurse with an afro. He snapped on the blue gloves and straightened Ms. Wellington on the bed. He got the fur-lined restraints out from the bed and placed them on Ms. Wellington's wrist and ankles. Male nurses have this ability to turn off their empathy and do what is needed. The whole event had felt like she was swimming under water. Kandace was still shaken, when Bertram cooly told her, "I'll be back with an IV kit for you." When Bertram returned with the plastic wrapped IV kit, Kandace was washing the blood of her hand in the bathroom. "Always put on gloves first. Never sacrifice yourself for one patient, because if you live you can save hundreds of patients. And don't worry, I'll deal with grump-bumpy from the morning shift." Bertram delivered all this with a breeze air and a smile. Kandace had a professional crush on Bertram. He was always cool and easy. And he was already out of the door. It felt like he was everywhere, while she was this clunky barge. She layed out the IV kit on the stainless steel tray: IV needle, extension hose, saline solution for priming, anti-septic solution, and tape. She split the tape in the middle to make two skinny tapes and attached them to the back of her glove to be ready for later. She screwed the saline flush onto the extension hose. She pushed the saline solution to the front and let a drop squirt into the air. "Ms. Wellington, you might feel a pinch, when I insert the IV into your good hand," said Kandace gently to prepare Ms. Wellington. Ms. Wellington was facing the wall and treating Kandace with the silent treatment. Kandace waited for the rubber around the old woman's arm to inflate the vein. Then, she poked. Ms. Wellington burst out talking to the wall: "This is all because of Obamacare. It's all Obama's fault. If Bush were still president, this wouldn't have happened." Kandace thought about all of her gay friends. She pinched on the insertion side to block the blood from streaming out. She thought about the gay wedding of her best friends Lucy and Becky. She fished the extension hose from the tray. There had been 99 balloons flying up into the air. She started screwing the extension into the IV. Every balloon had carried a dream, a wish, or a hope from a wedding guest. The thread of the extension didn't want to grab. Kandace adjusted and tried again. Her dream had been to bring something playful into her life. After all the hard studying and long hours in the hospital, she felt that the play in her life had dried up. "Damn bugger," escaped her lips. She looked at the IV that so stubbornly had resisted her threading approaches. She had left the cap on! With one hand pressing on the IV site to keep the blood from coming out, she couldn't get a good grip on the IV needle to unscrew the cap. She bit her lips again. She didn't want to be the greenhorn nurse calling out for help twice in an hour. Using her teeth was tempting, yet a severe breach of protocol. "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can," was the great quote from Arthur Ashe that came to her mind. They had reminded her of that over and over in nurse school. Don't expect yourself to be perfect. Do what you can do. Kandace could sense Ms. Wellington stirring any moment about the hold up. Start over or let a little blood squirt was the question. With all the blood still around, Kandace went for the second option. She undid the cap. Blood started rolling out. She quickly screwed on the extension and wiped the blood away. The moment, she was done, she hated herself. She had taken the low road. Instead of facing her mistake, telling Ms. Wellington about it, and starting over, she had done a sloppy cover up. She had let herself down. Adrenaline had the effect of focusing on the moment, making everything slow down, so that she could react to things. The after effect was a blur, where she barely felt present. It was like she was standing outside of her body watching herself clean up the bloody sheets and stains on the wall and railing. She watched herself typing on the computer to finish her charts, while the station turned bustling around her. The bright morning light was piercing down the hallway. The doctors with their white coats had arrived for morning rounds. The gaggle of nurse interns was messing around the floor. Steward, the Latino kitchen server had arrived with his cart and was stopping at each room. She was checking check boxes on the screen and hitting F5 for the frequent "an internal error occurred, please try again" interruptions of the antiquated hospital software system. The first time that she had a break to catch her breath was looking into the mirror in the locker room. Her skin was smooth. The eyeliner still gave the white of her eye a sparkle. Yet, underneath her eyes looked tired. She had treated her hair with thickening hair spray to create luscious waves in her brown hair. She had given herself a candy-pink lip gloss to look beautiful and professional. The silver stud in her ear gave her a little pizzazz. Most people would think that she still had a sparkling appearance. Yet, she knew herself well enough to see beneath the makeup. She was dog tired, put-a-fork-in-me done. Physically and emotionally, she was raw. A little sadness crept on her. These early years in her life were supposed to be a wonderful spring of entering the adult world, a joy to learn new things, make new experiences, and leave the first marks on this world. She was simply tired and felt incomplete. When she got home, the day felt like it was going strong with golden sun filling up the apartment. Her roommate was sitting on the couch in pink scrubs. She was watching golf. She had a towel wrapped around her head to try her hair. She was sitting Indian style and holding a pillow in her lap. "Hey, Kandy, our HBO doesn't work anymore." "Oh, Bling, I forgot to tell you, I didn't have the money to pay for cable." Bling was Kandace's room mates' nick name, because her blond hair was always standing out in any crowd. "No worries, I was having trouble scrounging up the money for my half anyway. We are still on for Orange Kids tonight, right?" asked Bling. "Definitely! I so need to dance out all this drama in my life!" replied Kandace. "Don't go sleeping in your scrubs again. That's so gross!" yelled Bling toward Kandace bedroom. Kandace cheek hit her pillow. Belly down, she passed out with the blinds wide open to soak her in golden sunlight. After having spent the whole day sleeping, Kandace and Bling were driving to San Bernardino in the evening. It was an hour long drive down the freeway. They car was an aging, gray Honda Civic. The corners were orange-brown with rust. The passenger door had a dent from a pillar during parking. A black bumper sticker said, "I'm a nurse. What's your super power?" Kandace was bopping her arms in the air to the electronic music playing from an ancient tape. Bling was leaning forward with her tongue sticking out one mouth corner to focus on her driving. "I got this," cheered Bling to herself. She was indicating to overtake a giant eighteen wheeler. Kandace's arms were loading up with candy from the wrist to the elbow. Candy are bracelets made from colorful plastic pearls with little charms interspersed. One was a cuff, five strings of candy were side by side to from a more intricate pattern with candy: The face of a Sesame Street character.She had loaded up a lot of candy to trade with other girls at the EDM festival. On her head, she was wearing an ocean blue wig with curls that fell down her body. She had a big flower band around her head with yellow and pink flowers. There were sparkles painted on her face. She was wearing a rhinestone bra that pushed up her boobs into perky round mounds the size of a large, firm grapefruit. Around her hips, she was wearing a bikini bottom from turquois stretch fabric that matched her hair. The bottom was so low that it was half way beneath her hip bone. The bottoms had fabric cut out to show even more skin. The only big blotch of fabric was right over her crotch for decency. Her tender, skinny belly was well revealed. She had a beautiful belly bottom. A big chain was hanging down all the way to her belly to make it more interesting to look at her skin. Bands were running over her thighs to create a little fairy story fantasy look. Beneath her knees, she was wearing big furry and pink warmers to give her that unique raver look. She was ready to party. She showed all her youthful beauty with lots of skin. She looked vulnerable with nothing to hide. Her face was smiling big with exuberance. They drove through the evening night, bouncing to the music. Pairs of headlights chased down the road with them. There was a solemn air around them and inside was already party time. Kandace eyes' sparkled with anticipation with throwing herself into the ocean of party with abandon. Festivals were easy. They were pure joy and let her disconnect from work. PLUR-dahar They peeled off the freeway in San Bernardino. Five minutes on surface roads, they found the festival grounds. A lot of cars were already stacked up. Barely arrived cars had everyone shuffling inside of the car to get ready. The air of action time was present in the parking lot. A bunch of guys were sitting on a truck bed, while they were smoking and drinking. A tall male couple was walking toward the venue. They were dressed in all black. They were evidently a couple, because they dressed in matching vests, chaps, and Zorro hat. A snobby BMW pulled into a parking space among all the beaters and lovingly aging cars. Kandace got out of the car. She was so excited. She was bouncing from one leg to the other and throwing the other leg to the side in the air. Bling felt rushed to lock the door and dropped the keys. Kandace made a heart sign with her hands in front of her heart and said "PLUR" (Peace – Love – Unity –Respect) to Bling. Then she broke out laughing. Kandace grabbed Bling's hand, and they jumped down toward the venue entrance. Kandace felt a surge of adrenaline, because she knew that her outfit would draw attention. And then she caught the first set of eyes lingering on her body. A girl with an Indian headband looked straight back at her. Kandace knew the fast glimpses that people gave her during the day. That girl looked at her for a full two seconds. Kandace had to step with a little more confidence to willingly let people look at her skin and outfit. It was only a minute until the first boys hollered to the two girls, "Yo, we want to party with you!" Kandace smiled on the inside and kept jumping down the parking lot with Bling. A guy with an eye mask and Matt Hatter hat mumbled, "Molly! Molly! Molly! Pure shit!" An Asian girl in bikini with a tiger hood and tiger gloves was roaring and clawing in the direction of her friends. A guy with a face mask was walking on stilts. He was a towering giant above the growing crowd of people that clustered into a line two hundred people long. He meandered through the crowd and kept the people fatigued by the line entertained. He also had stilts at his hands, which made him look a bit like an insect. Overhead, the lights from some of the stages were already flickering. The dum-dum sound of the drums already carried out to the parking lot. Kandace and Bling hopped right to the front of the line. Gray metal barricades were creating space at the entrance. They also segregated people into different lines. Bodies were pressing against each other inside of the barricades. Everyone was dressed in festival clothes, bright, skin exposed, and magically fantastical. The security people were all chubby guys in sloppy black pants and t-shirts. They moved little around. A trickle of one person at a time cleared through the entrance way. The two stood right at the entrance behind the barricade, holding onto the metal tubing with both hands. Bling waved a security guy over. He waddled side to side because of his fat gut. He looked bored and unimpressed. "Hey, we want to get in," said Bling. The crowd of two hundred people in line took little notice of her. It was too loud. The security guard leaned over the railing to look at Kandace butt. Her butt was only half covered by the skimpy bikini bottom. Her butt was firm and perfectly round, begging for a squeeze and ready to make a heart skip a beat. The security guy nodded and lifted the barricade a little to let the girls squeeze in. Kandace gave the grumpy guard a candy bracelet. Now, he was dressed in all sloppy black clothes with a happy, colorful bracelet. The guard never said anything, yet he smiled a little, which seemed a momentous act of communication for him. The girls hopped past the other security guards. Guys were carefully patted down for contraband. The girls in their skimpy clothes were allowed to bounce right past them. Getting into the venue, there was a sense of space. The ground had been trampled hard. The grass had long been trampled to death. There were a few trees. Everyone who got in had immediately moved towards one of the tents, leaving space behind. Flyers and garbage was discarded on the ground and trampled flat. Boxes with sound equipment had been left here. They got into the first tent. People were already standing side by side. The whole tent was full of hundreds of people. The music was thumping loud, those rolling beats and piercing high sounds. The bored people were standing in the back of the tent. The girls wanted to get to the center of the fun. They stepped into the spaces between people to find their way to the front. The spaces got increasingly tighter. They had to turn sideways to squeeze onward. The music volume was swelling to a loudness that was sense altering. The music was blaring all the thoughts and worries out of the brain. The flashing lighting required capturing snapshots of the surroundings with each flash. It required becoming present and in the moment. Kandace felt the urge to jump. Somebody had slapped her on the butt. She turned around. There was a wall of five people behind her. All the faces were looking onward to somewhere else. She couldn't make out who had slapped her. In this tight area, she knew that it was open hunting season on her body. She smiled on, not letting it disturb her amazing night. She had to keep up with Bling, who was needling herself in between people. They were 100 feet from the stage. They could see the DJ high above everyone wearing a red cape. He was telling people to clap overhead. Everyone started clapping and jumping. Kandace felt herself even more lost in the crowd. She soaked up the fun atmosphere and let it flow through her little body. Someone pushed her. She fell onto a girl with blue hair and already sweaty body. The girl's pupils were highly dilated. The girl immediately hugged Kandace. The girl gave Kandace a candy bracelet. They traded. The girl was obviously high on Molly. The blue haired girl hugged Kandace again. The blue haired girl snuggled her body against Kandace with tenderness and love. Kandace smiled. She knew that would be her in about an hour. Kandace squeezed the body of the blue haired girl and followed Bling deeper into the crowd of bodies. A shoe kicked Kandace in the head. Kandace turned around. There was a girl with dragon wings sitting on the shoulders of her bare chested boyfriend in white fur pants. The dragon wing girl had wrapped her feet around the back of her boyfriend, so that she could dance free handed high above the crowd. The boyfriend had wonderful pecs. His face was cut clean. Kandace felt jealous for wanting to have a stud like him. They had made it to the front. A small group of girls was dancing together. They joined them. The girls provided each other with a little protection. A dark wall of guys formed around them eager for each one of the hot headliner girls. The music sung about "living on sexy nothing." It felt so true that moment. Kandace felt that she could live on sexy nothing all summer long. She felt so happy in her outfit. The music was rolling. All the girls around her smiled and were happy. There was one girl whose outfit was a little more refined like the other girls. She was wearing this Russian girl uniform. It was gray. It had red Russian military stars. It had fur lining to suggest that it was for cold weather. It was also so skimpy and body hugging. It fit her so perfectly. That's the hallmark of expensive clothing, a really good fit. That girl danced over the Kandace. They danced together for a little bit. Then the girl leaned in to shout into Kandace ear: "I really like your outfit. You really bring the spirit." Kandace felt happy to be acknowledged by this alpha girl. "I really like your dress as well!" she shouted back. Their sweaty bodies were bumping against each other, while they kept dancing. Their lips were touching each other's ears. They felt each other's sweaty bodies. "I'm Briana. Do you want to roll!" asked the alpha girl. "Hell yeah!" shouted Kandace back. Briana reached under her bra to pull out two blue pills, "Caribou blue," yelled Briana into Kandace's ear. A deer like animal was stamped onto the pill. Kandace pulled sixty dollars out of her rhinestone bra. She reached into Bling's bra to pull out another sixty. Bling at first grabbed her boobs in panic. Once she saw that it was her roommate, she let Kandace have access to her bra. The roommates popped the pills together. Briana moved on dancing elsewhere in the girl circle. The music died. Kandace looked up at the stage. A new DJ had walked on. He was introducing his set with a sound cut. A loud bang, like a baseball bat to a steel drum, echoed through the festival tent. The sound rung slowly out. Without music and light going, everyone was standing around. It was a bare moment. The girls looked awkward at each other: "What are we doing here?" The guys who had been barely bouncing along the music looked completely bored. The white light without strobes let everyone take in each other rather than being focused on all the flash. There were a lot of normal looking faces standing around. Another steel drum bang sound ran out in the festival hall. Kandace could feel her body getting a little tired from dancing for half hour. Molly hadn't kicked in yet. "We all have demons," announced the DJ in a sound distorted to sound heavy and pronounced. "Some of us have the discipline and determination to face them. Only a pure heart can slay demon." His voice grew dark and mystical. "I'm bringing you the light to carry in your heart. That's not enough. You have to take it. You have to embrace it." A soothing piano solo set in. "Embrace the light," called the DJ with a dark baritone voice. Everyone started dancing and pumping their fists in the air. Bling's body was pushed against Kandace's from the crowd. The smooth sweaty skin glided up and down as both jumped. Bling's body felt like honey. That's when Kandace realized that the Molly had kicked in. And she smiled. And that smile released serotonin in her brain. It felt so good. Kandace shouted, "Embrace the light" with the DJ as she felt her whole body lighting up with joy. She willingly bounced against other bodies, gently of course, to feel the people around her. This little mousy girl noticed it and rubbed back against Kandace. They had this little moment of deep connection on the dance floor. "Oh, you are so rolling!" yelled Bling into Kandace's ear. "I love you so much," yelled Kandace back at Bling. And Kandace tried jumping up on Bling for a full body hug. They almost fell to the floor. Many helpful male hands were holding the two up and kept them from falling. They let all these strangers touch them. A girl grabbed both of their hands. The girl had only black pasties on and silver bottoms with black boots. The black pasties girl pulled the roommates through the crowd to a side exit. The roommates were so excited to go onto an exploration. Their skin was pushing through in between bodies. The skin sensation felt so good through the distortion of the drug. Fur was pushing into their face. Despite being constantly on the verge of being crushed, the drug made them feel safe and sound. When the white flap of the tent closed behind them the mystery pasty girl said, "You guys are way high. The boys were eying you too much. I'm taking you to a safe chill out space." Outside the tent, festival goers were walking into different directions. Everyone was on his or her way to some stage or meet up point. The pasty girl knew her way through the hills, generators, and vendor booths. The smell of fresh pizza drifted through their noses. It made them dream of running through the wheat fields in Italy. In a moment of clarity, Kandace realized that she was drenched in sweat and had absolutely no idea about the passage of time. Her body moved with ease, when it should have been severely sore and tired already. The pasty girl let them over the grass to a white dome that was about twenty foot weight. It was made of metal bars. Someone had put a cloth over it. The pasty girl found the entrance and held the fabric open for Kandace and Bling. Both crouched low to squat under the metal bar. Outside lights flickered matte on the cloth over the dome. The dome was dark. There was a rug on the ground. There were lots of odd shaped pillows. People were lying all over the ground. Everyone was evidently high. Everyone was hugging or spooning at least one person in cozy, intimate silence. There were five girls and one guy in a fluffy rabbit costume. Seeing the other girls set the roommates at ease. One of the girls in the center called out, "welcome, friends." The girl reached her arms wide. There was little to recognize about her in the half-light. She seemed to have gone for the sexy school girl outfit with a very short plaid skirt, tiny white shirt, and pig tails. Kandace let herself down on the floor next to the pig-tail girl. The pasty girl simply lay on top of both of them. There was no concern or worry about physical touch. And Kandace's human baby instinct took over. She cuddled herself up against her new friends, skin-to-skin. And she felt the love pouring out of her and into her. They were holding each other in silence, feeling the community. At some point, the pasty girl said, "That's Kyle. He's Suzy's girlfriend. He's cool." She looked at the guy in the tent dome. The pasty girl had felt like she needed to explain. Kyle was snuggling into Suzy. Suzy had her legs wrapped around Kyle. Suzy was running her feet up and down Kyle's backside. They were full-mouth tongue kissing. Suzy's body was writhing in abandon under Kyle's body. It was a break of rolling etiquette to go overtly sexual in some circles. "Girls, you don't know how good this feels. I had the worst day today. I had felt like crying. I would have cried, if I wouldn't have felt too despondent to even cry," revealed Kandace to her two new friends. "I'm on Prozac. I tried to cut my wrist a month ago. I couldn't deal with my boyfriend breaking up with me," revealed the pig-tail girl. "I love you both. I feel like I could scoop love out of my heart and into your hearts," said the pasty girl with deep sincerity and caring. "I think I killed someone last week. I made a mistake on the chart. I'm a nurse. Betram, that's my co-worker, he said that he would have died anyway. The injuries were too severe. I can't stop thinking about it," shared Kandace spurred on by the feeling of connection. The pasty girl started kissing Kandace all over the face. "I'm sure you did your best. I can feel that you are a true spirit. Like, you really care deeply." "I do," mumbled Kandace. "I really care deeply. That's why I struggle so much." The realization was so profound that Kandace sunk deeply inside of herself. The pasty girl kept moving the kisses down to Kandace's chest. The pasty girl moved Kandace's bikini to the side. The kisses convened on Kandace's boobs and focused on her nipples eventually. It felt great, while Kandace ruminated on her life. Kandace's head fell to the side. Kyle had pulled down his pants. He was rolling a condom down his penis. Suzy was completely naked. Kandace took all this in without alarm. She simply watched the two bodies like someone watches pigeons in the park. The pigeons twaddle around pecking on the ground. Kyle was kneeling. His body was high off the ground. Kandace could see all the details of the muscles on his belly in the half-light. The penis was six inches long. The rubber was completely translucent, strangely invisible. Kyle entered Suzy. Suzy immediately wreathed and groaned with the throes of sex. That's when Kandace felt something was amiss. She sat up and looked for a body part that belonged to Bling in the cuddle pile. She found a leg that looked like Bling's. She pulled on it. "Bling, I want to leave. Let's go dancing." Being a good friend, Bling immediately go up. Bling looked very sad at her cuddle buddy. "Why are you going?" asked the pasty girl. Kandace dragged Bling out of the dome, while adjusting her bikini to cover up. "I'm not prude. They were fucking," said Kandace to explain. "You don't have to explain, Kandy. Let's get water. We need to hydrate," said Bling. The grassy hill was filled with clusters of friends sitting in circles. The smell of chronic occasionally wafted through the air. A red glow was visible nearby. The muffled sound of drums-n-base going rabid nearby blew over the festival ground. Some girls where twirling glow-in-the-dark hula hoops. A guy was trying to go magical with LEDs attached to the tips of his gloves. A promoter girl with red velvet panties was passing out flyers. A trail of discarded flyers was on the ground like a long beard trailing thinner as people had walked farther away from her. The air felt cool. They looked for the entrance into the little village of vendors. Two guys walked up to them. They had bandanas. They were wearing suspenders over their bare chests. They immediately paired up with one girl each. Kandace felt little. Her head was as high as his chest. She looked up at him. She still had the warm sunburst of Molly inside of her. "Hey, you look cute," said that guy. "I'm Brad." Kandace looked a little smitten at the guy. She also knew that this would constantly happen when she went to the crowded places. "I'm Kandace. We are looking for water." "I'll buy you a bottle of water," said Brad. He pulled Kandace onto his side and started walking. "I just need some water. We haven't drunk in a long time," stated Kandace. "Yeah, you gotta hydrate. I got you," said Brad and kept walking her towards a vendor booth. They walked side by side with his arm around her. She eyed Bling to see if she was following. "DJ Scribble lets the bass drop bad ass," said Brad trying to impress Kandace. "We were just at this cuddle dome. It got a little intense. And I got weirded out," said Kandace. Brad right away eased up a little and gave her more distance. As promised, he bought each girl a bottle of water. "Thank you," said Kandace. "We want to go dance." She pushed her hand against Brad's bare chest to get rid of them. She took Bling's hand and walked to the nearest music tent. "Hey, I bought you a drink," called Brad after her despondently. They ended up in a deep house tent. The soul, ambient, and lounge vibe of the music embraced them and changed their mood. The tent was crowded. They tried to push their way to the front of the stage. People were too standing too tight. Their girl strength and little weight didn't manage to push people apart to slip in between. They tried to dance in the middle section of the crowd. There were a lot of standers – people who didn't do drugs and didn't dance. The atmosphere felt kind of cold. They tried to close their eyes and escape into the dreamscape that the music was drawing onto their minds. The lights were pulsating against the inside of their eyelids. An elbow hit Kandace in the temple. The crowd was shoving because it was so packed. The bad vibe started seeping into her trip. Kandace tried to close her eyes again holding onto her friend. A hand grabbed her bulbous butt. She swatted it away. The hand came back to finger on the hem of her bikini bottom. She grabbed the fingers hard and squeezed them with rage. Her fist bent them real good. She felt her bikini bottoms pulled down to the smile of her butt. She pulled on her friend to get out of there. They started violently pushing against the wall of people to get out. The fingers kept touching her butt and pulling on her bikini bottoms. She stopped fighting the fingers and desperately held onto her bikini bottoms. If she held it in the middle, the hands tried to pull them down on the side. The pokey fingers made her squirm. She started hitting people in front of her to get out of the way. Towering and more towering people were in her way. The crowd was pushing on her from all sides. Another hand started pulling on her rhinestone top. Her boobs were quickly hanging out. Nobody took notice, not even the guy with the studded leather jacket whom she was being pressed again by a wave of pressure moving through the crowd. She could feel the rough leather on her nipples. Those fingers kept following her and tormenting her. PLUR-dahar Her trip turned dark, real dark. Anxiety flooded her. Fingers were twirling her nipples. All she tried to do was hold onto her clothing, so that she could compose herself later and not have to run around naked. In the crowd, she had given up on keeping the clothing in place. Her fist was around the bottoms at the front. In the back, her butt was in the air. A hand was slapping her butt and trying to explore the space between her butt cheeks. Being a girl in skimpy clothes, there was little protection. She was shaking her butt to keep the crawling fingers from reaching her pussy. "Who does that?" shot through her head. Both roommates fell through the last layer of the tight crowd. There was no more resistance. They could freely push ahead and run out to freedom. Kandace turned around. The perps had stayed in the safety of the tight crowd. She pulled her clothes back into place. Her trip had worn off. She felt anxiety. She felt stressed about all the guys trying to get her. Paranoia was spreading. "I have to pee," she said. The girls walked to the long rows of porta potties. A long line of girls stood there. She started feeling safer. The emotion of panic was still pushing in her. She could feel the psychic fingerprints of the perps left behind on her body. She told Bling about it. Bling hugged Kandace to make Kandace feel better. The moon was high above the festival grounds. They were deep inside of the night. A girl started screaming help from inside of the porta potties. A sarcastic girl called out, "just another dweeb peeing in her boots, because she's trying to hover." The screams got more desperate. The porta potty door opened. There were two girls inside. One girl was standing and screaming. The other girl fell out of the porta potty with convulsions. "Betty," screamed the standing girl. Kandace immediately ran over there. Her medical training kicked in. Betty had a seizure. Kandace had to move her body, so that she wouldn't harm herself during the seizure. Kandace grabbed Betty by her shoulders and started dragging her over the grass away from the porta potty. Then Kandace kneeled down and held Betty's head to keep the head from hitting the ground with a convulsion. "I swear, we didn't take any drugs," stammered the girl standing in the porta potty. A crowd of girls started drawing closer. "Oh my god, the poor girl!" "Fucking amateur hour!" "Someone do something!" "Here is some water!" A bottle hit the ground next to Betty. Kandace knew that she had to wait out the seizure. The time felt like eternity. The arms and legs of the girl were flailing. The crowd was curious and scared to draw close at the same time. Kandace felt alone with Betty on the ground. "Betty is in good hands. Kandace is a kick-ass nurse," explained Bling to the freaked out girl, still in the porta-potty. "A nurse and not a doctor," whispered Kandace to herself. Betty started choking on her tongue. Her breath was a distressed roaring. When the roaring turned silent fear shot through Kandace's bones. The whole crowd froze, too afraid to make a sound or move. Kandace jumped up and ran to the pump station for washing hands. She frantically pulled sheets of hand towel paper out of the box. She ran back to Betty on the ground. Kneeling over Betty's face, she pushed the cheek skin in between Betty's teeth. Then, she pulled the tongue out as best as she could get a grip with the paper towels. The chest lifted again with an inhale. The paramedics came running across the floor with a stretcher and a box. The paramedics in tight, crisp blue suits, both young man, kneeled down right away. The light-blue gloved hands checked vitals, attached heart sensors, and put an IV line down to supply her with saline solution. Betty had calmed down from her convulsion. She was slowly coming too. At first, she let everyone work on her. "Wait, what is going on?" asked Betty. "You had a seizure! I need you to be real honest. What have you taken today?" asked the lead paramedic. "I got a red pill with a tiger. I forgot what that was again," replied Betty. The head paramedic shook his head. Betty's friend finally got out of the porta potty. She felt her way along the wall of porta potties to slowly steal herself away. She whispered, "I can't go to jail. My parents will be mad." A few seconds later Betty's "friend" was gone. The paramedics strapped Betty on the stretcher. They put a chest and thigh restraint across Betty to make sure that she couldn't throw herself off. "It's not necessary," protested Betty. "I know that the dragons in the sky are not real. I just got this psychic vision to see into another world. I'm an n-dimensional being. There is a dimension, where I'm a doctor! I'm really fine!" The paramedics ignored Betty. They had heard all kinds of nonsense all night. Kandace admired that male caregiver had this ability to turn off empathy. Kandace felt worried about Betty, because she was all alone, abandoned by her fake friend. The roommates followed the paramedics. Kandace kept holding Betty's hand. "MOVE," yelled the lead paramedic. The crowd opened up like Moses' parted sea. Some looked very worried, crumpled and pained faces. Other people thought it was funny. They walked middle through the vendor area. "MOVE," repeated the lead paramedic annoyed. Just like for kids, at festivals heaven high joy is often side by side with the deepest holes. They made it to the medical tent. It was lit up brightly, disturbingly brightly. It brought reason to the crazy festival world. A guy wrapped in a black blanket was restless and jumped around on his butt, "Fucking ants, fucking ants, somebody douse me in gasoline to burn off all these ants!" Another guy had a blood covered face. Blood was streaming down his face. Kandace made a mental checkmark. He probably hit his face into someone's head dancing. All the blood is really not bad. He'd be fine in no time. A number of people were lying passed out on field beds with IV fluid dripping into them. These were the more risky cases. Depending on the drug reaction, they could have lasting brain damage. A generator was humming. A triage doctor directed the group to the far corner of the tent. Betty was a non-emergent case. The paramedics put Betty down. "You guys can stay with your friend. Someone will come to do blood work and figure out what she took," said the lead paramedic and turned away to walk to the next rescue. Kandace wanted to protest that she didn't know Betty. Though, she knew that company was more important for Betty than explaining the truth. The paramedics would have asked her to leave. "What's your name," asked Betty. "I'm Kandace," replied Kandace the formal introduction made Kandace feel the full sober nature of that point in the night. The party was over. All the people that had gone too far were rounded up here, out of sight to not warn the festival goers of the danger. Kandace got real pensive and serious. A sort of post-drug blues was starting to set in. Bling's face also looked real damp. Her body was slouched over, sitting on a field bed. Bling was waiting. A guy was sitting on a field bed nearby with a wool blanket over his shoulder. Under the blanket, he was bare chested with wide cuffed pants. A smiley was painted on his chest. He hurried pulled on a green inhaler. While he drew the medicine into his lungs, he held eye contact with Kandace. There was something touching about it. It was like two souls meeting, two souls who knew what was going on in all this madness here, two souls who were in charge of their emotions to take the right action. He smiled softly. Kandace's lips simply wanted to smile back so badly. So, she did. "Something in the air triggered my asthma. I gotta warn you, I'm still rolling a bit," said young handsome under the blanket. "I'm all out," said Kandace. "I wish it were still going on." "You can always start it again," said young handsome. He smiled at her warmly again. The warmth in his eyes were piercing into her heart. She had to smile back. All this warmth, like being cozy and safe with family enveloped her heart. And then something kicked loose in her head. There was another dump of serotonin. He knowingly nodded, "there you feel it again." He touched her hand. He gently interlaced his fingers in between hers. All the stimulation let her head glow again with good feelings. Her body was shivering from the cold sweat. He pulled her closer and put his blanket around her. She protested, "But you'll be cold!" She sat down on his lap and wrapped the blanket around the both of them. He smiled as she cozied against his chest. He lifted the blanket over their head to form a cone around them. "Now, we are in the shoosh-shack," he said with a smile. His lips were so close. She could feel his presence in her face. Looking into his eyes only a couple inches away made her doozy. She went to kiss his lips. She wrapped her arms around him. And she hungrily sucked on his mouth. With lazy motions, he swallowed her tongue into himself. She felt all this strength around her. When she came up from under the blanket, her lips felt alive. She felt so refreshed. A nurse was drawing blood from Betty. "I'm Jason from Pomona," said young handsome. "I'll just keep calling you young handsome," said Kandace back with an air of flirt. Her heart was beating like a butterfly. Molly was rolling in the synapsis of her brain again. She felt happy, safe, engaged, and daring. Her hand caressed Jason's chest. Jest was getting goose bumps of Molly from the tactile stimulation. Kandace could tell from his eyes, especially his dilated pupils, that he was just as high on love like she was. "I'm so glad I met you," whispered Jason into her ear. Kandace thought about the girl on her boyfriend's shoulders at the beginning of the night. She imagined herself on his shoulders. She imagined herself protected from all the groping hands. She fantasized about how daring her outfits could be with a strong boyfriend like him. Her dream of going bare chested with body paint could come true. "I don't ever want to let go off you," she whispered back into his ears. He seemed so responsible form how he handled his asthma and Molly. "Who are you?" she asked him. "I'm a mechanic. I got to community college to study psychology. On the weekend, I go riding my bike in the mountains," his words only fanned her dreams even more about Cali love. "Who are you," Jason asked her back. "I'm just a broken thing that doesn't need fixing but loving," she whispered back at him with the deep honesty of Molly. "Every strong person draws their strength from their broken pieces inside," Jason hugged her back. "Don't ever get rid of your broken pieces." "Aw," said Kandace and cried on his chest. He softly caressed her fake wig. He felt his heart pouring out. The nurse returned. She looked at Kandace and Jason. The nurse shook her head and said, "Love birds." Then, she turned to Betty and told her, "You had a super dose of caffeine with a little LSD. You had an epilepsy. You need to hydrate and then see a doctor. There is an underlying health condition that got triggered. We are going to send you to a hospital. How can I reach your parents or a boyfriend?" Paramedics came with a cart. Betty got loaded up. She looked worried. "Sorry guys, only the patient can ride in the ambulance," explained the nurse. "Can we meet her in the hospital," asked Bling. "Are you close friends?" asked the nurse. "No, we found her at the porta potties," answered Bling. "Then, I can't share information with you about which hospital she is going to," said the nurse firmly. "And you Jason, get out of here. Stop taking up field beds," she added with a smile and a wink. The trio got up and walked out of the bright, clinical lights back into the festival world. Kandace had her hands wrapped around his. She felt happy walking together with him. To her, it felt like they were strutting, like a king and his queen. The night sky was bright with stars and the moon. The late night Molly had a way of being calmer and deeper. She could feel the warmth of his hand spreading into her hand and up her arm. She had to pull on him to hug him deeply. "I love you," he whispered. "Don't say that," she responded. Bright colorful lights were on the roofs of the vendor booths, people were wearing EL wire. "Bling, can I use the car for a while," Kandace asked Bling with a serious face. Bling rolled her eyes. "I heard that Kid Madness is going to play the sunrise set. I want to check him out. Don't get messy!" Kandace smiled and squeezed Jason's hand, "I want to show you something." She led Jason by the hand back through the vendor booze. A girl shook her hand with a look of "Why don't I ever get a hot boyfriend?" Kandace smiled at her prize. A guy leaning against a tent pole looked straight at her boobs. It only took a gently gaze from Jason, and the other guy raised his arms up in apology, "sorry bro!" Kandace felt invincible with Jason at her side. It made her heart flutter with happiness. They stepped past the last sound stage. Only the exit was ahead of them. "Where are you taking me," asked Jason. "Trust me," she told him and pulled on his hand a little sturdier. Her heart got a little shaky now that she was getting close to her destination. She walked him straight out of the venue. There was a throng of flyer boys and girls pushing flyers against their bodies in the hopes that they would instinctively grab them. The boys and girls had really tired eyes from the late night and boredom of assaulting everyone with shiny flyers. There were gaps in between the parked cars. Some people had already pulled out and left. She walked him to the gray beat-up Honda Civic. She opened the door. She flipped the passenger seat forward. She pushed him inside. He lay back on the back seat. She climbed in after him and pulled the passenger door shut. She took off her top to show him her round nubby nipples. This was the point that made her the most anxious. Was he going to think of her as a slut or worse as ugly? He smiled big. His fingers climbed up to her boobs and played with her nibbles. She moaned and let her head fall back. He pulled her chest onto his mouth. He mouthed her nipples. Wet warm embraced her boobs. She moaned. The tension eased out of her body. She could feel his manhood growing hard and pressing against her lips. That's the moment that makes any girl happy, when she knows that she has it. She can instantly turn him on. She hastily pulled down her bikini bottoms. Her arms were pressing into the upholstery. Her feet were trying to find a spot to push her body off the ground. An unlucky knee was resting on his belly. He took it like a champ tightening his abs. She was completely naked on top of him. She had gone all out. Was he going to accept her? He quickly pulled his pants down. He was struggling with his feet against the window. He pushed his hips high. That pushed her eye. She froze for a moment for being lifted so high for passing people to see her naked body. The thrill made her breathless for a moment. As soon as he got out of his pants, she lowered herself as low as she could under the window, which made her press against him. He loved it and hugged her tightly, wrapping his body around her. His hot mouth was nibbling on her mouth. He moved for his tongue to play with her ears. "Are you clean," she asked. "I got checked out," he responded. She grabbed his bare penis and guided it inside of her. With that, her wetness was wrapped around his pole, just like that. People walked to their cars past them. They could hear the voices. Neither of them was bothered. They were both rubbing their pubic bones against each other. He pushed her chest up, so that he could reach her perfectly round grapefruit sized boobs and suck on them. A spark went straight from her nipples to her clitoris. The care started rocking as she romped out on top of his dick. "People are going to tell," he said about the rocking car. "I don't care," she responded. Her face was focused on scratching that itch that she found. And she was going to scratch it perfectly. She was going to get that dick in all the places that she needed to get it. He moaned as he came inside of her. She squeezed his nipples and told him firmly with a raunchy voice, "You are going to stay hard!" "Fuck," he hissed biting his teeth. She pressed her boobs together for a devilish cleavage between them. "Those guys will motivate you to stay hard." He smiled staring at them hungrily and groping them. Her pelvis kept humping him, trying to get the last glimmers of stiffness for her pleasure. "If you are good, you can put it in my ass," she whispered. Instantly, she felt his dick tightening inside of her. "I knew that would do the trick. I only said that to motivate you," she said laughing. It had woken Jason up. He was thrusting up into her. There was a little hope that she might make real on the reneged promise. His mouth gaped open with stern concentration to fuck her harder. "Yes, Jason, fuck me like a little fuck toy." With that, Jason unleashed even harder thrusts, ramming against her pubic bone. Her face turned into a distorted abomination of an exorcism. She didn't are about people seeing her anymore. She climbed her arms on the headrest of the front and back seats to get more leverage to ride him harder. Her boobs were bouncing wildly up and down for all to see. There is a little switch in the head, where the chase for the orgasm overrides any sense of safety or future after the orgasm. Her pussy was wet like a torrent. Her juices were dripping down on Jason's pelvis. Everything was so slippery. It made it hard to get the grip for a good rub and stimulation. During a glimpse, she realized that the sun was coming up soon. The dark blue sky had started to lighten. Then, she disappeared into an out-of-body erotically intense experience. The Molly didn't let her get off. She was eternally stuck riding a high on his cock. It was simply more firework inside of her head being set off. Both their bodies grew sweaty. Their bumps sounded like wet slaps with all the sweat. He came a second time. This time, he was groaning like a wounded animal reeling from a mortal wound. The groan must have carried across many cars around them. His juice shot into her belly. She felt territorial. She felt like she owned him now. She felt like he was marking her on her deepest inside. She let herself glide down on his chest. He hugged her for a post-coital hug. They fell asleep into a beautiful slumber. When Kandace came to, the bright Cali sun was already flooding everything. Most of the cars had left. Kandace looked around. Bling was sitting on the hood with her knees pulled up to her chest. "Hey, Bling, I'm sorry, I fell asleep!" Kandace called out to Bling. Her pussy was wet with his semen rolling out of her. "Can I use this?" she asked, lifting up his pants. He nodded. She wiped her pussy clean with the inside of his pants. "My bikini bottom would have clearly showed the wetness. Your fabric is thick." She went back through the reverse acrobatics on top of his body to get dressed. She slipped out of the car. Kandace hugged her friend, who had been sleeping sitting on the car hood. "PLUR," she told her friend (Peace – Love – Unity – Respect). "It's just like PLUR-dahar," Bling said. It was a nonsensical play on words. Kandice sounded like Kandahar. Kandahar sounded like an intense mission. PLUR was the electronic dance music motto. Nights out with Kandice turned out to be intense. Kandace wrote her number on Jason's chest and sent him off.