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Nature's Calling

By: Kojiki



Here my submission to the Earth day 2009 contest. Hope you like it, feedback would be nice good and bad I like them both. Many thanks to ill_eat_wince for editing this.

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"Francesca what are you doing?" Lucian said to Francesca, who was on a tree branch several feet's from him. The small black haired woman looked down towards the man at the ground. From that height the tall man look so small. She took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh scent of rain that was lingering in the air. She loved how it smelled pure, fresh, and simply just wonderful. A mischievous smile flew across Francesca's face.

Lucian watched in horror as his wife fell from the tree branch she was sitting on. "Francesca!" Lucian shouted as he raced to catch the falling woman. His heart was racing so fast and hard, adrenaline started to rush through his blood, the world seem to slow down. 

Just a few feet from certain death she grabbed a small but sturdy branch. Her open glove prevented her hand from getting injured while also adding grip to her hold. She made certain that the ground was ok to land on, then let go of the branch and landed squarely on the ground. Francesca glanced over to where Lucian was standing but quickly her vision was blocked by Lucian's strong chest. 

Lucian held Francesca for a long time, calming himself down, riding himself of all the horrible scenarios that were playing in his head. Then he felt Francesca's small arms wrap around his waist. He backed up a little but not relinquishing hold of her. "I'm sorry Lucian, did I scared you?" the small petite girl looked at him with sorry eyes. He let out a long sigh of relief. Resting his forehead against hers, he looked right into her dark brown eyes. His shoulder length brown hair fell like a veil giving them a small scene of privacy. 

"You scared the shit out of me Cesca. What the hell were you thinking?" He tightened his grip on her bringing their bodies closer. 

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you like that, forgive me Lucian" she apologized lightly kissing his lips. Lucian responded by kissing her more deeply. His tongue licked Francesca's lips seeking entrance to her warm moist mouth. Needing it, Francesca allowed him entrance. Their tongues danced and fought for dominance, their hands caressing each other's backs and necks. 

"Francesca..." he whispered her name.

"I'm sorry" she apologized again. 

Reluctantly Lucian let go of her advising that they should head back to cabin. The walk back was a long and silent one, Lucian was clearly mad at Francesca for pulling that stunt. Francesca cursed her own stupidity. This was supposed to be a fun weekend; Francesca had gotten a cabin from a friend of hers up in a secluded mountain. She loved nature and all it's wander, she even fought to save the park near their home that was about to be turned into a parking lot for the nearby mall. 

Lucian loved Francesca very much but he always hated all the crazy stunts she pulled. He glanced back at her. She was walking behind him silently, not making any form of sound. She reminded him of a stealthy tigress. How she did that it was a mystery to him. 

Once they got to the cabin Lucian headed straight to the kitchen. He was a chef so naturally the job of cooking dinner fell on him. Francesca was a freelance graphic designer. They had met each other while Lucian was looking for someone who could design their menu in the restaurant where he worked. Francesca had answered to the ad and did a superb job at it. Eventually their relationship grew from there and they were married.

Lucian was chopping some carrots when he heard Francesca call to him. He stopped and looked across to the dining table. "Yes?" he asked her putting the carrots into the pot of boiling water. 

"I said I was sorry, I know I shouldn't have done that but I'm quite capable of knowing what I can and can't do" she explained walking inside the kitchen resting her hip on the counter. 

"True, but it's not funny when you see your wife falling off a tree that is four stories high. Don't ever do that again" he put the knife down and looked at her. In his eyes she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He couldn't bear the fact of losing her. 

He reached towards her wrapping his arm around her slender waist. With his free hand he reached for her chin and gently pulled it up so their eyes could meet. "I mean it baby. A word of warning would be nice before you decide to do something dangerous."

Francesca let out a small sigh, "Fine I will warn you if I decide to do something dangerous." the word dangerous coming sarcastically out of her beautiful lips. She balanced on the balls of her feet and gave him a playful kiss. A smile made its way on Lucian face. Then Francesca burst out laughing.

"What?" he asked completely oblivious to the things that were happening. 

"Well this..." she said as she placed her hand over the bulge in his pants rubbing it. He groaned in response "And the water in the pot is overflowing " 

Lucian looked back towards the pot indeed it was overflowing. He cursed to himself. He got distracted trying to lecture Francesca. Quickly he turned off the heat and glared at his wife. She simply grin at him and headed to the dining table.

Later that evening, Francesca decided they were going to go for a night-time walk "Wow! This amazing, is it not Lucian? Look at all the stars in the sky!" She seemed like a little child experiencing something new. She skipped around the clearing. Suddenly stopping, she turned to where Lucian was standing and sent him a warm smile.

He felt the jolt of excitement course trough his body and straight to his cock. She looked like a forest nymph enjoying what nature so beautifully crafted. "Francesca" her name came out rough and husky. He extended his hand towards her. She shyly pressed her knuckles to her mouth. She always loved that low sexy voice of his whenever he was aroused. Slowly she walked towards him, with a slow sexy stride. "You are so beautiful" he whispered in her ear holding her tightly to his body. 

Francesca could feel his hard desire for her, her body, in return responded to the sensation. Her breasts felt heavy and needing and so did her pussy. "You are beautiful, you can't see it but in the moon light your skin glows silver. I just want to lick you all over." she planted little kisses on the nape of his neck with her tongue she made small little flicks at his pulse. 

Instantly Lucian's muscles tighten in response. His hand went under her blouse exploring the softness of her flesh while the other held a firm hold on her. His hand made its way to her right breast cupping it in his large hand. She moaned softly arching her back towards him. "Lucian I want you to fuck me right here, right now" she said her voice low and raw with need, her eyes clouded in a haze of desire. Francesca took the bottom of his shirt and pealed it off from his torso. Her hands spread across his chest feeling the hardness of his muscles. He was built lean and slick, broad shoulders and a flat belly. Lucian took possession of her soft mouth, exploring the richness of her mouth with his tongue. 

Soon her top came off exposing her breasts to the soothing spring breeze. Her brown nipples were already hardened beckoning for Lucian's hot mouth. Slowly he bent his head, and then he blew on her hardened peek causing her to shiver with delight. "You love it when I do this, don't you Cesca?" gently he took one of her nipples in his slick mouth, he flicked it once, twice, and then he glanced at Francesca. Her head was tilted back looking straight at the sky above, lips partially apart. "Oh, yes I love it" she said in satisfaction holding his head close to her. He continued to give pleasure to her breasts; he noticed that her legs were struggling to stay upright. He took her into his arms and softly he pressed her against the cool grass below.

He got down on his knees between her spread legs. She looked at him with sparkles in her eyes. A smile tugged Lucian handsome face. Francesca stretched her hands towards him, and invitation of a seductress. Gently he pressed a kiss on the corner of her lips. His hands, a tantalizing caress trailing ever so slowly from the side of her waist to her hips. While he traveled lower form her neck to the valley of her breasts his hands unfasten the bottom of her shorts. He played with her belly bottom and in one swift movement he took her shorts off. The smell of her sex aroused him even more. He could feel his member hard wanting to be freed from the confinements of his jeans. 

She was wet with anticipation for him; her juices soaked the insides of her thighs. Restlessly she moved her pussy closer to Lucian's mouth. His eyes were absorbing the beauty of her simmering black curls caused by the combination of light of the moon and her wetness. Tenderly he laps his tongue over her entrance lightly touching her clit. She whimpered in pleasure. Her hands were searching for Lucian's head so she could hold him close to her pulsating pussy. 

He took her clit in his mouth, gave it a little flick of his tongue while he gently inserted one finger into hot and tight count. He then began to thrust his finger into her while he sucked and flicked her clit in his mouth. Restlessly Francesca started to move her hips; her breathing came in short gasps. Lucian knew by the clinching of her virginal muscles and her moans that her orgasm was coming. Now with two fingers inside of her he started to pump faster into her. She arched her back and screamed as her orgasm came in a rush of hot liquid. Lucian took the sweet salty taste of her into his mouth drinking from her like delicious nectar.

She laid there in the cool grass catching her breath. She was caught off guard when she felt Lucian thick cock entered her. She grinned at him "Come on wild man, fuck me!" He pulled out slowly and with a swift thrust he was inside her again, he continued to thrust into her increasing the speed each time. Whenever he pulled out she griped his shaft tightly not wanting him to let him go. 

Still with their bodies connected Lucian took Francesca to his chest slowly holding her upright he rolled himself to the cool grass. He took in the view as she sat above him, the starry sky making a beautiful background for her. Francesca began to thrust herself onto Lucian's hard cock inside her. Her breasts bounced with the movement of each thrust making it a more arousing to Lucian. She quicken the pace then she let her head fall back looking at the stars above, that combine with the pleasure of their love making was beautiful. Deep inside her she could feel her second orgasm coming, she was gripping Lucian's cock so tight the seer friction was driving him mad with pleasure. He started to groan, a sure sign that he was about to come. "Together honey, lets come together, I want your hot cum to fill me up and combine with mine" She moaned softly her hands on his chest teasing his nipples. He gripped her hips and he started to bury deeper into Francesca tight pussy. She started to scream out of the sheer pleasure her husband cock brought her. With a groan and a deep thrust Lucian exploded inside Francesca filling her with his hot sperm, triggering her own orgasm. Her body jerked as the wave of pleasure rushed through her. 

They laid there in the cool grass with their bodies intertwined. "Oh god that was amazing" Francesca panted out. 

"Yes it was, the best. I love you Francesca" he said taking deep breaths, he kissed her forehead. A gust of chilling spring wind washed over their naked bodies, they shivered from the cold. "I think is time to head inside now Cesca" Lucian said sitting down holding her close to him. 

# 

Francesca awoke to the alluring scent of breakfast. Quickly she got off bed and readied herself for the day with a light colored t-shirt and baggy cargo pants. She greeted a good morning to Lucian giving him a kiss on the cheek while he worked on the scrambled eggs. She went to the refrigerator and took out the carton of orange juice and took a drink from it. She started to remember the event that happened last night, along with her dream. Instinctively she put her palm over her womb. 

Lucian glanced at her wondering what she was doing so quietly. He saw that she was in deep though then he noticed her hand over her womb. "What's wrong honey?" he said. Francesca snapped out her thoughts and looked at Lucian. She opened her mouth to say something but quickly closed it smiling at him. "It's nothing just thinking about my dream last night" 

"What happen in that dream?" he asked curiously preparing the plates. She took a buttered toast taking a bite out of it. "Well...I was pregnant in the dream and it just got me thinking that's all" 

"I see...hmm... a baby eh, it would be nice no?" He told her with a grin in his face. They have been married for four years now and the thought of expanding their family wasn't too far off. Her face went crimson and she quickly looked away from him with her hand covering her mouth. Lucian knew that she was blushing, he adored that about her. "...maybe..." she said looking at the floor. 

# 

"Hurry up you slow poke!" Francesca shouted form the top of the hill to Lucian who was slowly walking up clearly exhausted. He wiped off some sweat from his forehead and pressed on forward. When he finally reached Francesca who was waiting for him she had her arms across her chest and an annoyed look. "Could you be any slower" she told him both hands on her hips. "Easy for you to say I'm the one caring all the stuff" he accommodated the backpack that was caring all the food and water for their little picnic. Francesca wanted to have lunch at small clearing atop the small mountain. "Can't we slow down and enjoy the view Mother Nature has to offer? After all today is Earth Day" 

"I guess I could slowdown for ya, but I want to get to the top, up there we can admire all of nature has to offer" she started to walk. Lucian well-liked the view he was seeing, the sawing of hips from side to side was mesmerizing, hot blood flowed through his blood stream straight to his groin. He wanted to make love to his beautiful woman out here in broad daylight. "Lucian!" Francesca shouted.

"Right right I'm going" 

When they got there indeed it was beautiful, much like the small clearing in the back of the cabin this one was broader and open. Birds chirp making beautiful music for them to hear. While Francesca ran around mesmerizing each tree Lucian prepared the picnic area. Just as he was about to call her for lunch, he was assaulted from the back, Francesca's breasts pressed tightly against his back, arms tightly fasten to his neck. "Francesca would you at least act your age?" He asked her with no real reason.

"Ah no mentioning of my age now, you know I hate it" she said rubbing herself to him like a cat. His cock felt very uncomfortable in the tight quarters of his jeans. He inhaled deeply trying to calm the wild thoughts going through his head. "Come let's eat" 

Francesca sat next to him her body layered with small dots of perspiration. She didn't know if it was the heat or the conversation about her dream that has gotten her all in heat. She took a water bottle and choked it down. Some of the water was dripping from the side of her mouth making its way to the valley of her breasts in her low cut t-shirt. Lucian watched with attentive eyes at the small stream of water. He could not help himself anymore; he lowered his head moving closer to the valley of her breasts and licked the small stream all the way to the corner of her lips. He looked at her eyes licking his upper lips slow and sexy. He pushed her to the ground, and hastily he removed her shirt revealing her luscious breasts her nipples were already hard beaconing to him.

"Lucian" she said with need in her voice. She wanted him really bad, she wrapped her legs around his waist she ached for him, and she wanted him deep inside her. He bent down fastening his mouth on to hers hot and possessive. He desperately needed to be inside; restlessly he pressed his hard on against her jeans in effort to release his desire. "Francesca I want you so much it hurts" 

"Come on wild man" with that remark they shed the reaming clothes they had on. Lucian bent and took in one of her perky nipples in his mouth. In response she arched her back towards him. He sucked and teased her driving her to the brink of insanity. "Lu...I want you inside me now please" she begged him. She ached for him she desperately seeking relief, the only relief that Lucian could provide for her. He was riding a wave of high lust and passion. He pressed the tip of his cock to her moist entrance, in one sure hard thrust he was inside her; she gasped griping his shaft tightly. 

He began to thrust in a fast rhythm, each driving them over the edge. Francesca met each thrust with him; she bit her lower lip as her orgasm was building rapidly. Lucian hands explored the soft curves of her velvety body; he secured his grip over her rolling over taking her atop him. She was surprised by the act, the corner of her lips curved into a suppressed smile. He held himself up right his arms giving his support. 

Slowly she started to ride him; her hands spread wide open to his chest feeling his hot soft skin. Her body rippled with pleasure/pain as his cock drove her to the edge of never ending pleasure. He groaned as he released his seeds into her. She felt his hot cum flowed inside of her triggering her own orgasm. They felt like a shattered piece of glass free falling through time and space. 

They lay down on the grass; bodies intertwined together hands slowly caressing each other bodies. "Hmm, out of all the wonders in this Earth I think the woman's body is the greatest of them all" Lucian said kissing the nape of her neck. She laughed at the comment making her aware of the delicious soreness all over her body.

Nature's Calling



Author's Note: This story is for the Earth Day Story Contest 2012 so please, please, please don't be hesitant with your votes. Or your criticism. Either one works for me.

Thank you so much!! I hope you enjoy!

Hugs and Kisses!

VampGirl.

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~*~Day One~*~

I slapped a mosquito getting ready to greedily begin draining my precious blood supply.

Were the little bastards multiplying? As soon as I squashed one, two more were waiting impatiently on the sidelines to latch on. The bloodsuckers were freaking swarming me. I cursed that damn bug repellent that had grossly exaggerated its claims to leave the recipient bite free and unmolested from creepy crawlies for up to twelve hours. Try twelve minutes and that was generous.

Or twelve seconds, I thought, slapping my palm to my neck.

Clomping through twigs, dirt and other forest debris, navigating around the giant sequoias and fragrant pines, I breathed in a deep lungful of the crisp, fresh air. No hint of exhaust fumes or the revolting stench of dumpsters long overdue for a visit from Mr. Garbage Man. It was refreshing, I had to admit that, but I still resented the fact that I'd allowed myself to be dragged from the safety of my nice, comfortable dorm.

Nothing good could come of this. Already I was missing a pint of blood, I could feel blisters forming on my feet and every few minutes a branch would just happen to break free and brain me.

To say I wasn't the outdoorsman type was an understatement. Anything bad that could happen in those supposedly great outdoors I had experienced: getting snagged by the seat of my pants as a tot while climbing a tree, dangling precariously for hours because I was too stubborn to relinquish my pride and call for help; kayaking and getting more soggy than I anticipated when the motherfucker capsized on me, no match for the rapid water; mistaking myself as bait and getting my cheek hooked while fishing, garnering me a nice little scar.

Not only that, but the weather forecast never factored me into the equation. When sunshine was predicted, it turned dark, cloudy and foreboding the minute I ventured outside. When storm clouds were percolating up above, I'd go out and thunder rumbled ominously, white-hot lances piercing the charcoal sky. A simple rain turned into a hurricane warning, mild winds segueing into a tornado.

Suffice it to say, we were a volatile match, Mother Nature and I. I loathed the temperamental bitch and the feeling was entirely mutual.

A fact proven as a felled tree materialized out of nowhere and tripped me. The forest floor suddenly came up and whacked me in the face.

Grumbling under my breath, I heaved myself up to my hands and knees, spitting dirt and pine needles from my mouth. I glowered ahead of me at Molly and Rick, resenting the hell out of both of the little twits for dragging my sorry, lazy ass to the middle of scenic no-fucking-where. As if being a third wheel wasn't enough, I was now dirt stained, abraded and in desperate need of some dental floss.

I narrowed my glare at the back of Molly's pretty red head, wishing for heat vision for the briefest second. It was her damn fault I was out here in the first place, forcing me to trample through the lush vegetation of the forest and incurring the wrath of Nature herself. Her fault I'd spent six torturous hours in the car with her and her nauseatingly doting boyfriend Rick from Los Angeles to San Francisco. Her fault I was now mosquito bait.

All. Her. Fault.

And it was all because I'd been dodging her false, unfounded and completely not true claims, the manipulative wench.

Allow me to paint the scene: me, sitting there like the studious psych major I was, the prof standing at his lectern rattling off his thoughts on neuroscience of free will in his bland, droning, snooze-inducing voice, and Molly furtively motioning to me three rows down. I ignored her to the best of my ability, alarmed by that familiar gleam in her emerald eyes. I recognized that gleam, dreaded that gleam. It never boded well for me. I always ended up doing something, entirely against my will, that I forever regretted.

I was still scarred, both mentally and physically, from our failed rescue of the lab rats attempt. Those suckers bit, hard, and the mad scientists imprisoning them had freaking acid at their disposal. I was still debating over forgiving her for that one.

Okay, digressing here.

There I was, ignoring her, or at least trying to, when Molly's patience wore thin and she began stage whispering my name.

"Ethan. Psst, Ethan. Ethan, Ethan, Ethan. Earth to Ethan Sharp."

My cheeks flamed as I attempted to meld and become one with the wood of my chair, sinking so low down my chin snapped sharply against my desk. Our fellow classmates snickered, shoveling a heaping pile of kill me now to my mortification, and Professor Hennings even halted his lecture at the disruption.

"Mr. Sharp, Miss Fitzgerald," he droned, "is my lecture interrupting your stimulating conversation?"

"No, Professor," we meekly replied.

His beady eyes bored into us. "May I continue?"

"Yes, Professor."

I successfully evaded Molly for the remainder of class and even managed to dodge her when we were finally dismissed. It was only stalling the inevitable, though. She knew where I lived.

Only sixty seconds had elapsed since my mad dash into my dorm room when the door suddenly swung inward, rebounding off the wall and revealing Molly. That had to be a new record for her. Nothing and no one could thwart her when she was determined.  

And by that gleam in her jeweled eyes, she was very determined, indeed.

I groaned in defeat. "What do you want this time?" I demanded, collapsing onto my bed.

"Camping. You, me, Rick and the glorious outdoors," Molly announced gleefully.

I blinked. Me and the outdoors? She had to be fucking kidding me. "You're fucking kidding me," I muttered.

"Nope. 'Fraid not, lover. We have an extended weekend on our hands and we are gonna take advantage of it."

"Why?" What I was really asking was, why me? Or maybe it should've just been, bury me now. 'Cause Nature would fucking murder me if I reneged on the tenuous truce I had with her to keep my distance.

"Because you owe me one, Ethan."

I scoffed. "The hell I do. If anything, you owe me."

Shrugging, she leaned against my desk, arms folded over her chest. The movement caused her breasts to plump up, giving an enticing hint of cleavage. It should've excited me, revved my engine, made me drool, something, but I remained infuriatingly unaffected. "We could stay here all weekend instead," Molly suggested, her all-knowing gaze steady. "Discussing your failure to face the truth confronting you head-on."

Not this again. I rolled my eyes even as my hands balled into two impotent fists. "Don't start, Molly," I warned, or maybe pleaded, quietly. "Was I not a good boyfriend to you? Did I fail to impress you with my sexual prowess?"

"You're an exceptional lover," she said, smirking as my cheeks flushed an embarrassing scarlet. "We always had fun together but a woman knows, Ethan. You were always distant, detached, better suited as a friend than a boyfriend. I wasn't what you wanted or needed."

There went my jaw clenching, nearly snapping and unhinging the bone. I seriously did not need to be having this conversation with her again. "Maybe I just have a problem with commitment."

"Or maybe you just need to stop denying who you are," she countered.

My teeth gnashed but I remained outwardly calm. Outside, I was composed. Inside, mass hysteria and panic. "Fine, I'll go camping with you and your whipped puppy," I snapped. Anything to escape this.

A victorious smile bloomed on Molly's deceptively angelic face. "Goody. We depart at dawn, my lovely friend."

I watched her flounce off, teeth still attempting to grind themselves into nubs. Damn manipulator. She played me again, plucking my strings like a fucking violin. I seriously needed to start reevaluating my choice of friends.

Because of my bad taste in friends, I was now on all fours on the forest floor, heaving the remainder of the dirt and leaf stew I'd ingested. I stumbled to my feet, swaying, and stomped after Molly and Rick with the baby tree -- sapling? -- Molly had thrust to me at the beginning of our hike dragging behind me. The burlap protecting its roots snagged at twigs and other things littering the ground but I couldn't scrounge up enough energy to lift it any higher.

Lest you think I was a puny weakling, let me assure you that I was in perfectly good shape. I might have been huffing and puffing as if I was about to blow a house down, sweat might have been running off me in rivulets and saturating my t-shirt so it clung uncomfortably to my skin, but when you subsisted primarily on caffeine and not much else like I did, you found it did wonders keeping you high-strung and jittery but it did absolutely nothing for your stamina. My only saving grace was that I wasn't forced to climb the mountains I saw jutting in the distance. That incline would've killed me. Or else I would've plummeted to my premature demise.

Lagging behind Molly and Rick, I allowed my gaze to rove, watchful for any of nature's hellish minions. Squirrels and birds and skunks, oh, my. If Dorothy had been within reach, I would've throttled the bitch for her damn ruby slippers, chanting all that there's no place like home bullshit. I was way out of my comfort zone here.

Better than the alternative, Sharp, I thought. Yeah, way better than having Molly pick at my brain, dissecting my troubled little psyche.

Maybe you're wondering why I capitulated to Molly so easily, considering my feud with the outdoors. Maybe you're a Smarty McSmartpants and you've already guessed. According to Molly, it was so obvious. I, of course, thought differently.

The reluctant homo. Now, where hadn't I heard that sad sob story before?

Before you start making snap judgments, know this: I wasn't gay. The locker room was never a feast for my eyes. At most, the other dudes only earned cursory glances from me, and that was strictly for comparison's sake. Every guy did it, no matter if they claimed otherwise. I was proud to say that, even at a modest 5'8'', with a lithe, wiry frame, I was packing some impressive wood in my boxers. No ego check required; it was simple fact.

The truth was I'd never had any reason to question my sexual orientation. Since puberty and my first glimpse at one of my older brother's skin flicks, I'd been all about the ladies. Short ones, tall ones, skinny ones, fat ones, freckled and bespectacled, it didn't matter. I loved women, all of them.

Until Kieran O'Brien.

Who was he? Glad you asked. Molly's cousin was the first and only glitch in my womanizing endeavors. Without saying a word, removed and detached in a way that stupidly intrigued me, he had captivated me. Stole my breath. Seized my heart. And caused a horrifying and instant boner to tent my pants.

For a straight guy to suddenly be panting after another guy was... disturbing, to say the least. I consoled myself with the thought that most guys had their confused moments, where they wondered... right?

Right?

The man was an enigma wrapped inside a mystery and cloaked in inscrutability. He had a way of seeming apart from the crowd, there physically but still removed. Emotionally, that is. Like he couldn't deign to grace us peons with his full attention, the spoiled, egotistical bastard. His aquamarine eyes, so bright, were always flat and vacant. I'd suspect he was hopped up on drugs if not for the fact that his body was a temple, undiluted by any harmful substances. It was a temple I would've gladly worshipped at. You know, despite being one hundred percent hetero.

I didn't need to be a psychology major to know I was all insane in the membrane.

My... attraction to him was a demon I'd been attempting to exorcise. But it was a tenacious little shit, clinging stubbornly, invading my every waking moment, insidiously creeping into my (wet) dreams. It had reached the point where just the thought of him had me salivating, a raging hard-on springing to disgustingly eager attention.

For eight months, I was constantly confronted by his too sexy presence, and by an unflattering reflection of myself, someone I didn't even know. Someone I didn't like. The first inklings of doubt had sprouted in my mind and I fucking hated it, hated him for making me doubt.

When Molly and I broke up -- amicably, of course -- I'd been relieved, a huge weight lifting off my shoulders. Not only would I stop feeling guilty about my lusty and abnormal thoughts but, because I wasn't her boyfriend anymore, I wasn't obligated to attend those family functions with her. I didn't have to see him anymore. Surely everything would snap back to normal.

Um, no.

Nothing and no one I did quenched this... this... obsession.

I was beginning to think I had a problem here.

I cursed under my breath. "Molly, are we there yet?" I called, not quite managing to quell the whine in my voice.

Molly grinned at me over her shoulder. "Just a few more minutes, pouty."

"Pouty?" I muttered indignantly. How dare she? She was the one who dragged me out here, blackmailing my ass into motion with her threat of delving into my innermost fantasies and exposing them. Exposing me. She was such a—

Jesus, I was pouting.

A sudden squawk had me glancing up and I caught sight of some bird that looked like a sparrow but it had a black-capped head and two white tail feathers. It was the briefest of glimpses as it soared up, up and away. I supposed I should've considered myself lucky that the thing hadn't shit on me.

Unfortunately, it had happened before.

Quickly on the sparrow-looking bird's white tail feathers was a bird I did recognize, and not just by its red-feathered tail. A red-tail hawk. A freaking bird of prey. Its hooked raptor beak was great for gouging out eyes, its thick, chunky wings outspread as it soared high above. I resisted the impulse to shield my eyes and hunch my shoulders, kicking up my pace and quickly catching up to Molly and Rick. Yes, I was using Rick as a human shield now; his hulking mass would be pecked before mine was.

I hiked interminably -- actually, probably just ten minutes, but it felt interminable -- and finally a break in the trees was ahead of us. We shouldered through and I got my first glimpse of where we would be staying for the weekend.

Molly had said it was a simple log cabin outside Yosemite National Park. Under-fucking-statement of the fucking century.

My jaw dropped.

Oh, it was a log cabin, all right. It just sat on about a gazillion acres, with this insane wrap-around porch complete with actual wood railings, bark and all. And a moat! No lie, there was a fucking moat surrounding the property, with colorful little fishies swimming around. A nice blend of medieval castle meets Goldilocks' B&E escapades.

But all that paled in comparison to...

My previously unhinged jaw clenched. Narrowing my eyes, I turned an accusing look on Molly, who was doing the whistle, rocking back on her heels, wandering gaze, innocent act. "Molly," I snapped.

She batted her eyelashes. "Yes, Ethan?"

"Something you'd like to share?"

She twisted a lock of her flaming hair around her finger, widening her eyes, so innocent it was nauseating. "Oh, yeah. Did I forget to tell you Kieran would be joining us this weekend?"

I scowled. "Molly..."

"Ethan..." she mimicked. "It's his cabin. We're the interlopers here. He is being very generous allowing us to come here. How about some gratitude?"

"Gratitude? When I didn't even want to come in the first place?" I scoffed. "Fat chance of that. You totally orchestrated this."

Rick furrowed his unibrow. "Am I missing something here?" he asked.

"Yeah, a brain," I told him, rolling my eyes.

Circumstances outside my control had me glancing over at the small drawbridge that allowed people passage across the moat, to the man standing so stoically with his strong hands grasping the thick rope along one side, his gaze intent as he stared down into the sparkling water. His silky black hair was tousled and even at a distance and not directed at me those crystalline eyes impacted me. The sun, in all its blazing glory, caressed the muscled contours of his body, his alabaster skin igniting with a golden hue.

I was suddenly envious of those golden rays.

Mmm, me likey, a part of my brain whispered.

Shut the hell up! the bigger and stronger part snapped.

Gulping with some difficulty, I averted my eyes, again with some difficulty. I didn't need to be ogling that man. He was a man, for Christ's sake. I should've been drooling over the way Molly's tank top stretched to accommodate her buxom bosom. Hell, I'd seen that buxom bosom, tasted it, even. Knew it was a feast for a starving man. So why the hell did I find myself again dragging my gaze to Kieran O'Brien?

That brooding, introspective bastard.

Slowly, he became aware that he had an audience, and that intense, aquamarine gaze rose to sear me with heat. I was actually singed, no lie. Those eyes, always so devoid of emotion, his face always so expressionless, flickered with the briefest show of confusion. And, if I wasn't mistaken, some heat of his own. But it was quickly eclipsed, his former blank mask reclaiming him.

I hated myself for hating the absence of that brief show of emotion. For actually yearning to see something other than that fucking calm neutrality.

Yearning. God, that was such a chick word.

"Why, Molly?" I demanded, not once allowing my gaze to waver from the perfection standing on that drawbridge. And he was perfection; even I couldn't dispute that, as insistent as I was in my heterosexuality.

Jesus, he had that poorless, airbrushed look, like he'd been Photoshopped. Seriously, had the man never suffered acne? Ever had a pimple marring that smooth, alabaster skin? It didn't appear so. Of course, he had a rich daddy who probably had the world's best dermatologist on speed dial. Who said money couldn't buy happiness? At the very least, it could buy the things to make you happy.

"Why what?" Molly asked.

"Why did you bring me here? Here, of all places, with him?"

"I'm not sure I understand, dear Ethan," Molly said, still feigning innocence. She even allowed her delicate brow to furrow in mild confusion, but that glint had returned to pulse in her emerald eyes. She was enjoying herself. "Is there some reason I should be aware of that you would want to avoid my cousin? Hmm?"

"No, of course not. That's ridiculous." Shit, that came out too harshly, too quickly.

Molly's lips twitched. "Uh-huh. Sure, Ethan."

Poor, oblivious Rick was watching us, his face scrunching up more and more as he attempted to divine the meaning of our conversation. "Do Ethan and your cousin not get along or something, Mol?"

Mol. How cutesy. I tried not to gag.

"Oh, they get along, all right." Molly snickered. "Too well."

Rick's eyebrows slammed together again, looking so much like our ape ancestors that it was like evolution had never happened. "Then what's the prob—"

"Rick, don't try to think," I interrupted, and none too kindly. "You'll strain something."

My gaze had wandered again, I realized. I'd been successful in tearing it away from Kieran but it zeroed back in, meeting the jeweled, fathomless depths of his icy eyes. I gulped, feeling that intense stare of his reach deep within me, igniting a flame of unquenchable desire. It was horrifying and if you think having a boner because a guy just looked at you was flattering, well, you're stupid.




Nature's Calling



While Molly soothed Rick's bruised ego, we meandered our way across the clearing, each step bringing me closer and closer to Kieran O'Brien. He was pulling me, as surely as if he was magnetized and I was just a little paper clip too light to resist the pull. It sounded cliché, I knew, but it was impossible to ignore.

Allow me to be frank here while still being Ethan. I was never one to deny my urges. I was usually crude, rude and always in the mood but when your rampant libido was snuffed out to all others but one man, well, you tended to start wanting to curb your natural impulses. So even though the lustful beast inside me wanted to tackle the man and ravish him, the sensible, straight guy knew I needed to avoid temptation at all costs.

Kieran O'Brien was the biggest temptation of all.

I needed to remain vigilant, leery. I needed to keep distance between us so that magnetic pull couldn't draw me inexorably closer.

Of course, it didn't help that I was already swooning like some nancy schoolgirl.

"Kieran!" Molly screeched, dropping everything and flinging herself into her cousin's arms. Kieran caught her, smiling ever so slightly, his firm, totally kissable lips puckering to press a smooch to Molly's forehead.

"Hey, baby doll," he murmured, his gaze going over Molly's shoulder to pinpoint on me. I may have faltered, stumbling under the impact of that intense gaze, and I didn't think it had anything to do with Nature's usual antics.

Kieran and Rick did the perfunctory handshake greeting but I stood back, still caught and completely ensnared by his aquamarine eyes. Jesus, I was supposed to be doing the aloof, unaffected thing, but it wasn't working. Especially not when his seemingly dispassionate yet blatant perusal of my body had me flushing. He took in everything, from my brand new flannel shirt down to my brand new hiking boots. I knew I looked like a miniature lumberjack in these stupid clothes but everything I owned wasn't hiking appropriate. Molly had relished the shopping expedition. I, however, had simply endured it.

A smile twitched at his lips and even those crystalline eyes thawed a little, melting around the edges. "Cute," he remarked.

Cute? My back straightened, indignation singing my cheeks with a furious blush. That was the most condescending word in the English language and he thought I was cute? How very rude of him. I was sexy as sin, thank you very much. Again, no ego check required.

Of course, I really didn't give a shit what he thought of me. Really, I didn't. I didn't.

Okay, you beat it out of me, I did.

That smile that had only been hinted at curved the corners of his sumptuous, sensual mouth. "Learn to take a compliment, Ethan," he advised quietly.

I blinked. "You remember my name?" I asked incredulously.

There was no further reaction on his face, his words very matter-of-fact. "Of course I do." Before I could bask in a ridiculous glow at that, he continued, "You dated my favorite cousin for almost a year. So of course I remember."

Well, what an impression I must've made on him. I'd never even entered his radar, hadn't imprinted myself in his mind as he had done me. Really, that should've been a relief.

So why did I feel so empty and hollow inside? Why did my stupid heart ache?

Damn it, I'd turned pussy in about a heartbeat. Where was my fucking pride at? On second thought, where the hell was my damn masculinity?

Molly accidentally-on-purpose stumbled into me, knocking me into the startled, muscular arms of Kieran. I blushed, my hands clutching at those hard forearms, feeling the impact clear down to the marrow of my bones. My cock gave an excited twitch at the close proximity.

Biting my lip, I peeked up at Kieran through the fringe of my lashes, disconcerted to meet his gaze instantly. He was already staring down at me. His face betrayed nothing but there was something in his eyes... something that intensified as his hand rose, fingers brushing a brief but electric caress across my cheek. I closed my eyes, breath catching, my fingers clutching his wrist, and turned my face into that warm caress against my will.

But in the next instant, I was clutching only air, stumbling forward yet again. My eyes snapped open, seeing Kieran's averted gaze, the muscles of his throat convulsing as he swallowed. He steadied me, putting several paces between us, and I was loath to admit that I felt bereft at that distance. And horrified with myself at my reaction. But I was even more horrified that the moment was now ruined.

"You can stow your bags inside," Kieran mumbled, and I was slightly heartened to hear the sudden huskiness of his voice. He cleared his throat but the words that emerged were still tinged with a rawness that struck a delicious chord inside me, thrumming with vibrations that had all my nerve endings tingling. "We can get started after you're settled."

Why wouldn't he look at me?

Why did I want him to look at me?

I followed behind a giddy Molly and a still confused Rick across the drawbridge, swallowing past the constriction of my throat. With every step away from him that I took I expected to feel that inexplicable connection I'd experienced with him for a too brief moment lessen but if anything it just stretched... stretched... a tether that was stretching to capacity and threatening to snap me back to his side.

Cursing myself for my weakness, I glanced back at him, startled to find that he was already staring back. He was staring back. I caught a flash of... longing?... before his calm neutrality reasserted itself and he whipped his head around, glaring down at that sparkling water, his hands clenching the rope once again. Tantalizing veins stood up in his forearms.

Maybe, just maybe, he didn't see me as just his cousin's ex. Maybe, just maybe, he remembered me for a different reason. I squelched the idiotic hope that sprung eternally, forcing myself to turn around and follow Molly and Rick into the cabin.

Man up, Sharp, I chastised myself.

"I see Kieran's made a few modifications since I was last here," Molly said, stopping and gazing around.

I did some gazing of my own, gaping yet again. This place was humongous. A big, open space, the living room boasting a cathedral ceiling, with this brown suede sectional sofa that could double as a very comfy bed. There was a large loft up above, with two bedrooms and a bathroom, and I leaned to the side to peek into the kitchen and connecting dining room. I saw the glint of chrome appliances and it somehow worked with the earthy feel of the place, with the exposed beams and logs.

And so many windows. No matter which way I looked, I got a view into the outdoors, seeing all those giant sequoias and pines, the sun dappling the ground and little critters scurrying about. I thought maybe I saw the plumed, black-tipped tail of a gray fox but it disappeared into the trees before I could get a closer look. There must've been a door or some windows opened because I heard the gentle soughing of the breeze outside, the rustle of leaves and the soft cadence of birds out there. And was that the calm susurration of water? An actual babbling brook?

Now this was luxury camping. Seeing, smelling and hearing, without touching or tasting. That's what I called the ideal nature expedition.

Stowing our bags in one of the upstairs bedrooms, we took our scraggly baby trees and trooped back outside, finding Kieran had already begun digging a hole on the fringes of the property. I averted my gaze from the shirtless man, from the sun-glazed muscles rippling, drool building and building until I was sure there was a steady stream dribbling from my bottom lip.

You are straight, Sharp, I snapped at myself. Start acting like it. Belch, scratch your balls, beat your chest, do something!

That would've been much easier to do had the man not been so... hawt.

"Rick, why don't you and I plant our tree over there?" Molly suggested, indicating a spot far away from where Kieran was digging. "I notice a serious excess of elbowroom among the troops there. Kieran, why don't you help Ethan?"

Subtlety was not Molly's strong suit. I glared after her but I didn't find myself objecting. I was simply taking the path of least resistance. That was it. It had nothing to do with being alone with Kieran O'Brien. No, siree.

"Oh, and Ethan?" she called over her shoulder. "You might wanna help Kieran spread some sunscreen on his back. We Irish have sensitive skin, you know."

I noticed Kieran glance at Molly with the slightest furrow to his brow but he bent back to his task, silently scooping out dirt, the sun caressing that sinfully muscular body and glinting off his shiny black hair. I took a deep, shuddering breath, strengthening my resolve to resist him, before tripping over my own feet to his side. I plopped the tree down beside the fresh mound of excavated dirt and waited for instruction. He was the expert here; I was just a neophyte.

His eyes flicked up at me briefly before returning to the ground. He cleared his throat. "You can place the tree in now," he said. I started to and that smile twitched at his lips again. "You need to take the burlap off first."

Rolling my eyes, I ripped the burlap off, then dropped in the tree. I watched him scoop in dirt around the roots until the hole was filled halfway. Then he poured in some water to, in his words, settle the soil and release any air pockets. I was allowed to shove in the rest of the dirt, crouching and sinking my fingers into the soft soil, patting it smooth around the edges.

Now, if I was gay, wouldn't I be bemoaning the ruin of my manicure? Further proof. I'd never gotten one and had no plans ever to.

I kneeled there on the ground, arm brushing the smooth, warm skin of Kieran's, as he built a soil berm to form a depression around the edge. He filled the depression with water several times but we couldn't complete the whole thing because Molly was bogarting the mulch. I really didn't know why the hell we needed mulch anyway.

I reached over for the water bucket, my shoulder pressing against his, our hands colliding. There was eye contact for the briefest moment, breath held suspended in my throat, and I watched that strong hand tremble infinitesimally before he clenched his jaw resolutely and steadied it.

Would he ever let loose? Did I even want him to?

Cursing under my breath, I stood up and surveyed our handiwork.

My tree was lopsided but it was in there. A sense of pride unfurled inside me. I glanced up at the clear blue sky, seeing a lone cloud skitter across the sun. Shit, with me out here, that cloud would be joined by others, darker and bigger ones, and rain would pelt us and ruin the whole weekend. As much as I didn't want to be out here in the wilderness I also didn't want this torturous experience exacerbated by rain.

There, I helped replenish your ranks, I thought. Or maybe I was beseeching. How about a temporary reprieve here?

In answer, that lone cloud soared away, becoming thin and wispy before entirely dissipating. Huh. Maybe Mother Nature had heeded my call, after all. Who knew you could bargain with the vengeful bitch?

Grinning, I returned my gaze to Kieran, finding he was watching me again. My breath caught, grin slowly slipping away. Those damn eyes, so blue, so intense, penetrated deep and gripped my soul in a crushing, bruising fist. His lips parted and I expected words to emerge but instead he shook his head and glanced down again. I hid my disappointment well.

Stupid disappointment.

We worked in silence, packing up the small shovel and scattering the leftover dirt around the trees, and each quick brush of our bodies was ratcheting up my awareness of the man. Ratcheting up my arousal, my horror and even my curiosity. I was on the damn brink. Of what, an orgasm or a fucking existential crisis, I couldn't tell you. All I knew was that my throbbing, aching dick was weeping for a touch and I didn't think my own would appease it.

After another of those tantalizing brushes of our fingers as we were both reaching for the burlap to dispose of, I finally had to ask, "Are you gay?"

His eyes flicked over but he remained infuriatingly neutral. "Are you?" he countered quietly.

I opened my mouth but swallowed the instant refusal I'd had formulated. It was garbled up in my throat, anyway. Somehow, any evasions or outright lies that worked on Molly and even myself wouldn't work on Kieran. I met his impenetrable, icy eyes and the dreaded admission slipped free of its own accord. "I don't know," I whispered brokenly.

Fuck. That right there was really the crux of all my problems, wasn't it?

******

My confession, however lame it was, hung over me the rest of the day. A dark, abysmal cloud threatening great bouts of rain far worse than any the sky could unleash. But every once in a while, my eyes would meet Kieran's and no matter the distance, the constriction around my chest would lessen.

After a while I stopped looking over at him. Better to suffocate myself than allow him to relieve this self-doubt or insecurity or whatever the hell this was.

As full night descended, a chill settled over us, too, and Kieran quickly and efficiently built a fire. We huddled around and Molly made a bag of marshmallows materialize out of thin air, distributing them and some twigs. I attempted to roast my marshmallows but after losing six of them to the greedy flames I finally conceded defeat and flung my twig into the fiery trenches.

Just as I did that, this horrendous screech startled the silent night, save for the crackling of the logs and the chirping of nearby bugs. It sounded like a woman screaming bloody fucking murder.

I jerked upright, whipping my head from side to side, and I didn't need a mirror to know my face had blanched and my eyes were as big as saucers.

"Coyotes," Kieran explained softly.

Funny, his explanation didn't settle my nerves. I remained tense, wary, my gaze skittering around the dark surroundings, the trees only silhouettes and somehow foreboding, their branches like skeletal appendages swaying eerily in the breeze. Reaching for me. Grasping.

I was beyond relieved when Molly announced it was time to turn in.

"Make sure you get rid of all the food out here," Kieran said. "We don't need bears sniffing around."

My eyes widened. "B-bears?"

"Yeah, black bears," Molly told me. "They have a keen sense of smell and a heightened memory for food. They'll break into cars if anything even resembling food is inside. They can even recognize the shape of coolers."

Um, gulp.

My gaze skittered around again, peering into the darkness, and when some leaves rustled it was like a fire was lit under my ass. I jumped up, shooting for the cabin in giant, leaping bounds, falling through the door. I do believe I broke some world records there. Cowardly Lion Syndrome in all its glory.

Kieran, Molly and Rick straggled behind me, and before I could get swept up staring at Kieran, I called first dibs on the shower. Snatching up my bag, I skedaddled up the stairs to the loft, enclosing myself inside the bathroom. There was a pretty rustic feel to the bathroom, a lot of earth tones, with a glass shower stall sporting about six showerheads. Pulsating jets and all. I nearly drooled.

Stripping, I powered up the jets, stepping beneath the scalding spray. Steam quickly fogged up the room, my skin nearly blistering, but I preferred my showers on the verge of giving me third degree burns. I didn't feel clean otherwise. Interpret that however you wanted.

I bowed my head, dripping strands of brown hair hanging in my face and droplets clinging to my eyelashes, allowing the pounding jets to soothe all the kinks and knots bunching up my muscles. I felt the tension drain out of me, letting it gurgle down the drain with the water. The sweat, the tension, it all washed away. If only I could get rid of that stupid, unflagging erection doing an impressive ten-hut.

Groaning, I quickly lathered and rinsed, shutting off the water and toweling dry. Cinching the towel around my hips, I wiped off the steam on the mirror, meeting the blurry, distorted reflection of my own face. There was an unnatural flush to my cheeks from the water, my brown eyes impossibly wide. And was that an expectant gleam there? They fucking shined.

Shit, I was actually excited about returning downstairs, to Kieran. What the hell was going on with me here?

I was clearly divided on the issue. My mind was insisting one thing, that it was beyond wrong to want that man, but my dick had other ideas and it was infecting other parts of my body, too. Emotional parts. It was horrifying but it was pulling me inexorably for the stairs. I barely had enough time to throw on some loose basketball shorts and a Nike tee before my bare feet were padding down the smooth wood of the stairs.

To Kieran. Damn it.

The living room was dim and gloomy, lit only by the bluish glow of the 55' Plasma HDTV, and Kieran was sprawled on that big suede couch watching Limitless. Flickering shadows leapt and quivered on the walls and across his face but I saw no sign of Molly and Rick.

I skidded to a halt. "Uh, where's Molly and the Cro-Magnon?"

Silently, Kieran hooked a thumb over his shoulder. I followed the direction he indicated and glanced out the huge windows behind him, seeing that a tent had been erected in the yard. The flickering glow of a lantern provided silhouettes of the happy couple and they were, well, gyrating. I still considered busting up their little outdoor tryst, to prevent me from making a fool out of myself in here, but before I could I heard a dreamily sighed, "Oh, Rick." Those damn windows or that damn door was still opened.

Shit, as much as I didn't want to be alone with Kieran, I wanted even less to interrupt that.

I was stuck with the lesser of two evils. A very hot, very tempting evil.

Clearing my throat, I perched my ass on the very edge of the couch, in the farthest spot from Kieran I could manage. Clasping my hands between my knees, my shoulders hunched, I stared intently at the television to avoid glancing at him. But I didn't need to glance at him. I could feel him, his presence radiating with enough magnetism that I felt my body leaning unconsciously to the side.

I caught myself before I ended up sprawled across his lap. Stiffening my spine, I sat ramrod straight, body clenched to avoid anymore leaning.

The silence, that damned silence, was getting to be a little awkward.

Apparently, Kieran thought so, too. In my periphery, I saw him pluck up a small remote. One press of a button and I heard a gentle whirring of gears, the wood ceiling up above sliding away, revealing a sheet of Plexiglass that protected the interior of the cabin from the elements and gave us an unobstructed view of the velvety, starry night sky. My lips parted, a sigh escaping. That was amazing.

Almost in a trance, I laid back on the couch, staring transfixed at the flickering pinpoints of brightness in the sky. In LA, I never got the opportunity to do much stargazing, and I'd forgotten just how beautiful the sky could look. And, yes, I was aware that sounded sissified.

The couch shifted and suddenly Kieran's head was beside my own, the top of his brushing against my shoulder. Silky strands of midnight black hair tickled the side of my face but I didn't find myself scooting away. It felt... nice. Ridiculously so.

His pale arm rose, indicating a cluster of stars. "That's Cassiopeia," he told me softly.

I tried to see it but I couldn't. I thought maybe I recognized the Milky Way but I could've been mistaken. Constellations hadn't ever been my forte; I just thought the sky was beautiful like this. It always ended up reminding me that the universe was a gigantic place and I was just a small blip among billions. That might've been disappointing to some but to me it was comforting. Comforting to know that whatever mistakes I made, someone else had made the same mistakes. If I loved, hated or grieved, someone else was doing the same.




Nature's Calling



I was insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

I cleared my throat and searched for something to say to Kieran. Unfortunately, idle chitchat also wasn't my forte. "Do you live here year..."

He made a soft sighing noise.

Hitching up on my elbow, I gazed down into Kieran's face, his eyes closed, lashes dark twin crescents on his pale skin. Deep, even breaths whispered in and out of his slightly parted mouth. He looked so... young. Innocent. A real Sleeping Beauty. My hand rose and my fingers hung, suspended and trembling, over that silky hair, preparing to smooth it off his forehead, but the emotion currently gripping my heart halted me.

Tenderness. I didn't do tenderness, not with anyone, and I didn't plan to start here. Not in this moment, at this place, with this man. No. I refused to.

My fingers curled into a fist but I couldn't quite tear my gaze from his peaceful slumber.

Shit, I was really in trouble here, wasn't I?

~*~Day Two~*~

I awoke at the buttcrack of dawn.

It took me several long seconds to recognize my surroundings. You know the feeling, that anxiety you couldn't entirely quell when you were confronted by things unfamiliar to you, that thought of, oh, shit, where the fuck am I? I stared up at the open ceiling, the first bright rays of dawn glinting and burning my retinas, the cobwebs dusting off my memory enough for me to remember, vaguely, that I was somewhere in the wilderness with Molly and Rick.

And Kieran.

A blush burned my cheeks as I remembered -- shit, did I remember -- the night before, that close call I'd had where I'd nearly caressed the man's silky hair. I didn't normally do shit like that and the fact that I'd almost done it to Kieran, to a man... It was fucking with my mind.

I'd actually slept with him. Well, next to him. Pressed right up against his warm, muscular body all night long, keeping me on edge even in my dreams, I'd snuggled up close, breathing in the woodsy, spicy scent of his cologne. It was soothing, damn him.

Speaking of, where the hell was he?

Stretching my arms above my head, I pulled the kinks out of my back, feeling my bladder protest. I had to piss worse than a fucking racehorse and that running water I heard was not helping matters.

I rolled to my feet, a jarring impact that left my legs tingling, and paused for a moment to orient myself. The water I heard wasn't coming from upstairs but it didn't appear to be coming from outside, either. I tilted my head, listening closely. It seemed to be coming from... there.

More curious than I was concerned with relieving my bladder, I followed the sound to the back of the cabin, not even pausing at the door I'd assumed led outside. I shoved it open. Strode over the threshold.

And gaped.

Kieran, all nekkid and wet and glistening, stood just a few tantalizing inches away. But almost as enticing as that view was, but not quite, was the actual room he was in. If it could even be called a simple room. There were no walls, no ceiling, only the trees standing sentinel against prying eyes, the floor smooth granite that tapered off into the springy grass. There was some ingenious pipe work at play, a pole extending to the middle of the space, a round showerhead spitting out a gentle stream of water.

Water that was currently pelting the delectably naked and oblivious Kieran O'Brien.

I fully admitted it took several minutes for me to avert my eyes. It was a backside view but I couldn't say I was complaining. His broad shoulders tapered down to slim hips, muscles rippling in his back as he raised his arms to lather up that raven-black hair, teasing water droplets sluicing down that smooth back. I followed one particular drop's journey, mouth watering as it crept closer and closer to the dip in the small of his back, heading right for the crease in his firm, muscled ass—

Oh, my God. I was ogling him again. While he was naked. Without his knowledge.

How skeevy could a guy get here?

And, yet, I couldn't stop myself from lowering my gaze, following the trail of that single droplet as it continued its desultory journey. I was going to hell for this, I knew it, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop even with mental berating echoing in my cranium over the whole straight issue.

I frowned suddenly. Wait. Was that...?

What... was... that?

Almost indistinguishable against that alabaster complexion were crisscrossing, pale lines marring the perfection of his body. Some were puckered, some tinged the slightest shade of pink, but they were all angry and long, bisecting both cheeks, curving around his hips and even running in jagged spears down his thighs. There were so many, dozens.

I would've thought kinky but some instinct had me knowing those were inflicted rather than accepted.

My horror in that moment surmounted anything I'd felt at myself for the feelings only he seemed able to evoke in me. A tiny, barely audible sound of distress squeaked past my throat, but apparently it was loud enough to alert Kieran.

He whipped around, aquamarine eyes snagging my own, his lips parting ever so slightly. His nostrils flared, eyes widening just enough that their icy depths crystallized even more, becoming two glaciers. His version of shocked, I assumed.

"I-I'm sorry," I stammered, stumbling back and out of that outdoor shower room.

Hands shaking and transmitting the trembles to the rest of my body, I scrambled up the stairs and into the bathroom, pressing my back against the closed door. The barely suppressed fury contained inside me wanted to explode out and crush skulls.

Who the hell had done that to him? And where was the motherfucker so I could kill him?

I banged my head against the door, grimacing. Why the fuck did I even care? I never got this involved with a girlfriend before, never concerned myself with their past hurts or even fears, and yet with Kieran I cared. Inexplicably, impossibly, I cared.

Fuck. I was really in trouble.

Shaking my head, trying to rattle out those ridiculous notions tumbling around my brain, I drained the weasel, quickly washing my hands and brushing my teeth. I think I stalled a little more by organizing his medicine cabinet but finally I just had to buck up and go back downstairs. Face Kieran and pretend I hadn't seen anything.

I found him in the kitchen. He'd thrown on a pair of jeans, riding low on his hips and exposing a few of the scars curving up around his smooth skin, but he was shirtless and barefoot. Jesus, even his feet were gorgeous. How was that even possible?

Tentatively, I tiptoed in, scooting out a barstool pushed up to the island and copping a squat. Kieran made no reaction that he heard me but his shoulders tensed briefly and he asked, "Are you hungry?"

"Starving, actually," I admitted. "I could probably eat a horse, hooves and all."

Those broad shoulders tensed even more, shaking, and I got the distinct impression that he was stifling an amused chuckle. When he spoke again, I could hear a smile in his voice. "No horse," he said. "But we do have waffles, bacon and hash browns."

"Breakfast fit for a king," I approved lightly. "Need any help?"

A minute shake of his head answered me.

I sat silently, watching him bustle around the kitchen preparing breakfast, his movements so graceful and confident. Not once did he turn to fully look at me and that incident in the outdoor shower was hanging out right there in the kitchen with us, a big, fat elephant we were both trying to ignore. It wasn't a successful attempt on my part.

Clearing his throat, keeping his gaze lowered, Kieran placed a steaming plate of food in front of me. Silently, he sat across from me, twirling his fork between his fingers before quickly cutting into his waffles. His impeccable table manners were putting mine to shame. He speared up small bites and I watched his lips close over each one, sliding along the tines with almost pornographic aplomb. I doubted he even realized how erotic he looked while eating.

Jesus, I think I was drooling. Again.

"Do you live here year round?" I asked him, biting into the crisp bacon.

He slowly shook his head. "No, I only stay here when I need some R&R," he mumbled.

"R&R?" I smirked. "What do you do, anyway?" I, of course, was imagining that he did nothing. I mean, come on. He had a rich daddy supporting him. What was so stressful in his life that he needed any rest and relaxation? Wasn't his whole life rest and relaxation?

"I founded a non-profit organization called Shelter From the Storm," he told me, making certain to keep his eyes downcast. "It provides shelter, food and clothes for impoverished people. Currently, I've bought some property and renovations are in development for apartments. Something very affordable for them."

My eyebrows sprang up, impressed despite myself. "How old are you?" I demanded.

"Twenty-two."

Jesus, I was twenty and hadn't even decided if psychology was even the road I wanted to travel down. He was only two years older and already had a business, one that actually benefitted others. Maybe I'd misjudged him. Maybe he wasn't the spoiled, rich golden boy I'd imagined. Maybe there was actually some depth to him.

Of course, if that was the case, I really was screwed. I'd accepted my attraction for him to some degree but I'd had hope stored away over the fact that he was a spoiled, rich golden boy who was born with a diamond encrusted spoon shoved up his ass. Those types always turned me off -- at least the few shallow debutantes I'd dated had -- so I'd been safe in that attraction.

Now, not so much.

"Does your dad help you out with that venture?" I asked, pushing down those other thoughts for now and forking up a heaping pile of hash browns. They were delicious but I doused them with ketchup, anyway. Everything always tasted better with ketchup.

Kieran's eyes flicked up briefly but he quickly glanced back down. "Um, no. We aren't really on speaking terms."

I cocked a brow. "Falling out?"

He made a soft scoffing sound. "Something like that," he murmured. "He's not exactly happy with the lifestyle I've chosen."

My fork paused mid air, jaw hanging open to accept the syrupy triangle of waffles, my gaze snagging his as he glanced up. The lifestyle he chose? Did that mean a gay lifestyle or doing charity work? Or something else I wasn't aware of?

Those scars I'd glimpsed flashed through my mind and my stomach turned over, heaving violently, bile creeping up my throat. No, it couldn't be...

Kieran's expression betrayed nothing, as usual, but his icy eyes held mine, old and new pain bleeding into their aquamarine depths, bruising them a deep sapphire. A touch of color stained his cheeks and he quickly averted his eyes but I couldn't get that image out of my head. Or get rid of my newest suspicions.

We finished breakfast in amiable silence. Kieran seemed content without conversation but I had to mentally restrain myself from shooting out questions and demands. The last thing he needed from me was a damn interrogation. And the last thing I needed was to get caught up in this thing, to get even more entangled in Kieran O'Brien.

As much as I told myself to leave it be, I found myself wandering outside the minute Kieran retreated upstairs to finish getting dressed, searching for Molly. The tent offered only a snoring Rick splayed out on sleeping bags, his mouth hanging loose and drool seeping from the corners. Jesus, he was disgusting. How did Molly stand the lumbering jackass?

Shaking my head, I backed away from the tent, arms huddled against myself and chafing my hands together for warmth. The dewy dampness of the chilly early morning had goose bumps pebbling my skin but I had to admit the place looked enchanted. Everything fresh and new, the earthy scent of damp earth wafting up my nose, the silvery hue of dawn sparkling off everything.

I picked my way around the cabin, passing by Kieran's outdoor shower, and came upon a small deck around back that overlooked the sparkling moat. Molly sat up there, her legs crossed at the ankles and propped on the railing, her bare toes wiggling. The sun lent a copper shine to her red hair, the freckles across the bridge of her nose in stark relief.

I had no idea what she was fiddling with -- was that a bar of soap? -- but she didn't appear to be projecting the need for space. I climbed the stairs and sank into the lounge chair beside hers.

"Hey, Fitzgerald," I greeted. "I gotta ask you something about—"

"Doesn't this smell good?" she interrupted, shoving the soap under my nose.

I sniffed. "Yeah, sure. Now, about Kieran—"

"I make this for Kieran," she said, again interrupting me. "He likes using that outdoor shower while he's here. It's the most eco-friendly shower ever and I make this soap out of all natural ingredients so it's not harmful to the environment."

I blinked. "You make soap?" I demanded incredulously, momentarily forgetting my agenda. How hadn't I known that?

"Yup." She bobbed her head. "Shampoo and conditioner, too."

Shaking my head, I snorted a laugh, marveling at Molly's eccentricities. "Um, that's weird," I told her. "But, uh, about Kieran—"

"I'm not gonna delve into Kieran's personal life," she murmured, long lashes veiling her eyes. "Not even for you, Ethan."

"Can you just tell me if his dad..." What? Beat him? Whipped him? Hated him? How the hell could I finish that sentence?

Molly's mouth twisted in a grimace. "His dad," she sneered. "His dad disowned him years ago and Kieran, glutton for punishment that he is, keeps going back searching for his approval. Approval that he'll never get because Uncle Liam is a narrow-minded prick too set in his backwater, bigoted ways."

O-kay, then. "But what about—"

"He couldn't accept him the way he was so he tried molding him into the perfect, model son. When that didn't work, he tried beating him into submission. When that still didn't work, he disowned him, completely renounced him as his son." Her eyes narrowed. "Kieran's been through some shit but instead of just surviving, he's thriving. And he deserves some happiness, for once. Deserves someone his dad will be ashamed of but who he'll always cherish."

Shit, that's why Molly brought me here...?

"And you do, too, Ethan," she continued quietly. "You deserve to finally get what you need, what you want."

My jaw clenched. "What I want is for you to quit bringing this shit up."

"But Ethan..." she beseeched.

"No," I snapped. "I'm not gay, Molly."

It was the first time I'd said it aloud and the lie tasted bitter on my tongue. The most truthful I'd been had been yesterday, to Kieran, but I still couldn't bring myself to explore any of it further. For one, would a true gay dude only lust after one man? Then again, did a completely straight guy do any lusting after the Y chromosome at all?

You could see what a quandary I was in here.

"Ethan," Molly started quietly. "You really need to stop denying who you are. So you like guys. Is that really such a bad thing?"

"One guy," I corrected against my better judgment. And, yeah, it was a very bad, disturbing thing.

She frowned. "Huh?"

"You said guys. No, only one guy," I gritted out.

"Kieran?" she demanded.

Damn it, why was my head nodding? I shouldn't have been nodding, shouldn't have been encouraging her, giving her more ammunition to fire at me later on. But I couldn't seem to stop myself. My fists clenched and I purposely kept my gaze straying. The minute my eyes stopped roving I was afraid they'd fill with tears or some shit and I was not turning into a crybaby.

"That... is so... romantic," Molly sighed dreamily, clasping her hands over her heart. "It's like a movie of the week. One man, a womanizer too afraid of commitment to keep a relationship for over a year, being swept off his Nikes by the only man he's ever desired. That would be the best rom-com."

"More like a horror movie," I groused.

"Oh, what do you know? It's romantic," she insisted.

"Whatever," I muttered. "Can we drop this now?"

"Depends." Molly quirked an eyebrow. "Are you still in denial?"

Sighing, I left Molly there with her homemade soap, retreating back into the cabin. I didn't have time to dwell on my confusing and conflicting feelings, thank God, because soon the other three were raring to start the day. Molly suggested fishing and majority ruled in her favor. I think it was safe to assume I was the only one who objected to it -- you might remember me mentioning getting my cheek hooked? I had no desire to repeat that experience but I was dragged along, anyway.

So there I was again, stomping through the underbrush, mosquitos swarming and making a snack out of me, the tree cover so dense the sun couldn't even penetrate. But this time I wasn't lagging behind all by my lonesome.

I peeked at Kieran from the corner of my eye. He shortened his long strides to meet mine, steadying me whenever I stumbled, sweeping away scraggly branches before they could slap me in the face, all without directly looking at me. We were both excelling at maintaining distance without actually separating physically.

Damn it, what was it about him that he had me questioning every relationship I'd ever had? In hindsight, each one of them had been shallow, superficial, only concerning ourselves with getting off on a regular basis. I hadn't invested much of myself in those relationships, never got to know any of them past a surface level, and I never allowed them to get any glimpses inside me. All those women had been mild distractions, nothing less and nothing more.

So why did I actually feel around him? For him?

I was really harping on this, wasn't I? Sue me. This was fucking life-altering shit here. I reserved the right to harp.

So caught up in my internal battle was I that I didn't notice Rick and Molly shove past some low-hanging branches. Branches that swung back and lashed me directly in the face. The sting of it brought a tear to my eye, the shock of it stealing my breath.

Kieran jerked to a halt beside me, his cool hands suddenly gripping my chin, tilting my face up to him. His aquamarine eyes, always so carefully devoid of emotion, were radiating worry and concern for me now as he inspected my face. It was touching, really. His thumb brushed along a sensitive spot on my cheek and I winced despite myself.

"Just a scratch," he murmured, but his thumb was still feathering caresses along my cheek.

Why hadn't he moved back yet? Was he leaning closer? His chest brushed against mine and my skin tingled beneath the thin material of my t-shirt, my breath catching at that electric contact. Apparently, it didn't even need to be skin to skin for me to get zapped, and I wasn't sure really how I felt about that.

My brain was a little muddled at the moment.

His icy eyes, hooded and shadowed now, dipped down to my lips for a fraction of a second. Not even a fraction, more like a fraction of a fraction of a second. But it was long enough for me to realize that he was debating kissing me. Or was he? I couldn't really tell anymore and his close proximity was stealing all my thinking processes.

He leaned closer... closer...

My breathing quickened, my eyes shuttering, pressing closer...

And closer...

"Kieran! Ethan! Hurry your asses up!" Molly shouted.

Mood effectively ruined.

Our eyes met for just an instant, and I gasped, shocked to see his hadn't completely iced over. Quite the contrary. Those aquamarines burned bright and jewel-like, smoldering with a molten heat, before he quickly snuffed out the flames.

I watched him turn tail and flee, his head bowing, hand rising to massage the nape of his neck. My fingers clenched into fists, grinding my molars together. I shook my head, hanging it in shame, despondently stomping after them.




Nature's Calling



I was not a happy camper.

I was even less of a happy camper half an hour later, precariously balanced on a cropping of jagged rocks, yanking on my fishing pole and watching the bobber bob along. I tugged on the line, reeling it in a little, trying to tempt the rainbow trout into biting. It wasn't working. This was the most boring and tedious sport ever.

Sighing, I tipped my head back, gazing around. The jutting mountains were a breathtaking backdrop, trees crowding close on either side, towering, soaring into the sky, the water rippling and sparkling in the sun. The surface of the water reflected back the image of nature at its most beautiful but I couldn't find it in myself to admire it.

No, I was too busy admiring Kieran, fool that I was.

Aviator shades protecting my eyes from the glaring sun, I watched him through the tinted glass, his wrist flicking forward and releasing his line into the water. He was standing right at the shore, his jeans cuffed up to his knees, legs submerged in the water to mid-calf. His face was still so neutral but he seemed at peace, tension leeching out of him the longer he was here.

I glanced away, disgusted with myself, wishing it was that easy for me.

But, no. I was tensed, wound taut to the breaking point. And I couldn't say it was anxiety about being here that had me this way, or even fear that I'd topple off my precarious perch and belly flop into the water, or nerves about upcoming finals back at school.

No, it was all Kieran, damn him.

Kieran, Kieran, Kieran. Someone hand me a noose now so I could fucking hang myself. I couldn't keep up with this obsession.

Something had to be done here.

******

Something wasn't done.

We pissed away the rest of the day fishing. Or, in my case, amusing the fish with my inept skills with a rod -- har, har. Between Molly, Rick and Kieran, the accumulated fish caught reached into the dozens, but I hid my envy well. If some of Rick's fish ended up being liberated and set back into their aquatic home, well, that was just an accident.

Back at the cabin, Molly assigned the task of cleaning and gutting the poor, deceased fish to me and Kieran. I thought about protesting but, really, what was the point? Molly always got her way.

On the back deck, there was a nice wooden surface that looked as if it had been used for just this purpose before, with plenty of nicks and stains I didn't want identified. It was clean, though, so I slapped the rainbow trout down and watched Kieran for instruction.

"What do we do?" I asked him.

In answer, he whipped out a wicked butcher knife and chopped the head clean off one.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed.

I gagged, watching the head tumble off the table, bouncing several times before finally coming to a stop. Head up, beady black eyes round and protuberant, and staring right at me. I left the rest of the head chopping for him.

He gave an uncharacteristic grimace. "I don't like doing this," he admitted.

Accepting a fillet knife from him, I followed his lead by taking one of the decapitated fish, turning it belly up and eviscerating the son of a bitch. From asshole toward where his head used to be, I sliced him open, triggering my gag reflex when I reached inside the poor bastard for his entrails. After repeating that process way too many times for my peace of mind, I took the old toothbrush Kieran handed me, cleaning the blood vein that ran along the spine.

After rinsing the disemboweled, decapitated fish, I gladly handed them off to Molly for cooking. Although, honestly, after seeing and participating in the grisly details of its preparation, I wasn't so sure I could eat it.

I scrubbed my hands raw, using a nail brush to get into every crease, scalding hot water melting off a layer of my skin. If it got the blood and gore off, I didn't care. If only I could scrub my brain just as thoroughly to remove the memory of that particular experience. I had a feeling it would haunt me for the rest of my days.

Retreating outside with Kieran afterwards, leaving Molly and Rick to their cooking duties, I settled in one of the lounge chairs on the deck. The waning sunlight cast shadows up here but the sky was tinged crimson, tapering off into striations of pretty pinks and purples. It lit the whole area on fire, the grass tipped in a burnished gold, the trees and shrubbery tinged an orangish-gold. It was gorgeous.

And I just consigned another slice of my masculinity to hell for that thought.

I tipped my head back, glancing over at Kieran. His face had an odd flush to it, courtesy of the blazing sunset, his black hair reflecting a reddish tint. Now, he was gorgeous, but I'd never voice that thought aloud. Not ever. "I've noticed something about you," I murmured.

His eyes flicked over. "And what's that?" he asked, taking my hand and examining the raw skin of my knuckles. That movement disproved what I was about to say to him but I said it, anyway.

"You don't touch people."

True, he'd touched me a couple of times, was touching me right now, but briefly and mainly for inspection of injuries. He'd hugged Molly when we arrived but it had been stiff, the handshake with Rick quick and grudging. Since then, he'd maintained a safe distance from everyone, tensing anytime someone accidentally brushed against him. Like yesterday, with me, planting that tree. He shied away from Molly, even, anytime she got too close.

He gave a noncommittal shrug, not confirming nor denying my claim, his cool fingers a nice balm to my hot and scraped skin. I shivered at that contact, feeling those light touches grip something deep inside me, my heart speeding up.

I cleared my throat. "Why is that, do you wonder?"

"I just don't like physical contact," he mumbled.

I glanced down at our hands, which had become clasped together, his no longer intent on soothing my injuries. Fingers loosely intertwined, they hung together in the space between our chairs, and I didn't find myself objecting or pulling away. He glanced down, too, as if aware that he was making himself out to be a liar.

He shrugged again. "You're different," he said.

And that's all that he would say.

******

It turned out that, when confronted by a fish I'd helped gut and behead, my appetite did a nosedive. All grilled and golden brown, nice little lemon slices bordering it, the fish gave off a heavenly aroma. But I still saw those beady black eyes staring up at me with accusation plain in its dead gaze.

"Oh, God, I'm gonna be sick," I blurted, feeling my stomach heave, my esophagus burning as bile scorched a trail up my throat.

I was up and out of my chair in about two seconds flat.

Kieran was more respectful than I was but I noticed he declined dinner, too, blasting out of his comfort zone and pecking a kiss to Molly's forehead to soften the blow.

My stomach gave another painful lurch as I cradled the toilet, my head hanging inside the bowl. Sanitary, no, but I had watery saliva gushing from my mouth and each heave of my stomach emptied its contents, until I was sure there was nothing left. Then even more emptied out. My eyes watered involuntarily, my nose red and runny, and still I heaved.

If I never saw another fish again it'd be too soon.

When my stomach finished its acrobatics, I leveraged myself up, hands braced against the sink. Now that the queasiness of the fish fiasco was over, I was now sick from puking. You know that feeling, stomach hollow and empty, throat raw and strained, every breath hurting like hell. I managed to stand upright long enough to scrub the ickiness from my teeth and tongue, gagging on every upstroke of the bristles on my taste buds.

I stumbled back downstairs, collapsing onto the couch, curling into a tight ball and cradling my aching tummy. My eyelids weighted down, shuttering closed, but I fought the seductive allure of sleep. If only I could open my eyes again.

The couch shifted beside me, a cool hand brushing against my cheek, fingers combing gently through my hair. I mumbled something unintelligible, moving into that touch, and found my head cradled in a lap, those same soothing fingers continuing with those slow, easy caresses. It was lulling me to sleep, my breathing evening out, consciousness receding. I felt safe, protected.

And still those fingers combed. Still they feathered against my cheek. Still they soothed and comforted and sated.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

Time was a little skewed when next my lids pried open, eyes feeling gritty and hot. The room was dark, the only light provided by the television, The Town playing onscreen. I watched Ben Affleck and Blake Lively going at it on a chair, feeling a warm palm on my neck, fingers tangled in my hair. I did a quick assessment of my stomach and got a twinge in response but I no longer felt like I was on the verge of tossing my cookies all over the place.

Groaning, I rolled over onto my back, my ear smashing up against a hard abdomen.

Uh-oh.

I winced, my gaze slowly rising to meet Kieran's. The shadows encroached on us, creating a very close and intimate atmosphere, playing across the harshly sensual planes of his face. My breath caught at the smolder that had returned to those aquamarine depths but it was tempered by a way too touching concern.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

Mutely, I bobbed my head yes.

"How's your stomach?" he pressed.

My mouth gaped. "It's all right."

Grinning, his fingers untangled from my hair, his thumb brushing a soft caress against my cheek. For the first time, his eyes were so warm, completely thawed, a tenderness mingling with the smoldering embers. I was caught by those eyes, ensnared, but I found it within myself to sit up, putting a few feet of distance between us. I couldn't deal with the answering emotions brewing in me, ones that complemented the things represented there.

My cock gave an insistent twitch in my pants but contrary to popular belief I wasn't completely ruled by my little head. Which wasn't all that little, by the way.

"Ethan," he whispered.

I shivered, his voice speaking my name so reverently, as if he was savoring it, making chills attack my body. Swallowing, I raised my gaze to meet his again, seeing his grin had slipped away, but the smolder was still there, stoking into a hotter and brighter conflagration. The flames were consuming me and I didn't think I could escape them this time. Wasn't even sure I wanted to by this point.

After all the teasing, all those tantalizing close calls, I was fucking primed. Moving almost unconsciously, I leaned forward on my hands, crawling, inching back to his side. His gaze tracked me, and I suddenly felt like the gazelle cornered by the cheetah, but it was an exciting feeling. He caught me in his arms as I tumbled forward, his eyes dipping down to my lips.

"Are you sure?" he murmured.

"No." Yes. "I-I don't know."

At first, I thought he was going to back down at my indecisiveness, but suddenly his palm was cradling my cheek, his head lowering until our mouths were only separated by a breath. Taking the plunge, I closed that infinitesimal gap, molding my lips to his.

Instant fireworks.

My skin tingling, limbs trembling, I sat up on my knees straddling his lap, my arms winding around his neck, fingers tunneling into the silky smoothness of his hair. All without separating our lips. A moan of unadulterated desire rumbled up my throat, a guttural groan that was reciprocated in kind from Kieran. His mouth opened, tongue darting out to tease at the seam of my lips, coaxing them apart until my own tongue could meet his.

His hands gripped my hips, pulling me closer and closer, my erection pressing insistently against his torso. The friction ratcheted up my desire, my frenzy, and I deepened the kiss, my tongue plunging deep, stroking his with wild abandon. His grip shifted, one hand rising to curve around my neck, holding my head still as his mouth ravaged my own.

God, I'd never before felt this level of urgency, this out of control. I didn't even believe I was breathing anymore, Kieran's kisses supplying all the oxygen I needed, every nerve ending, every fucking cell in my body ignited with a fierce, primal desire. Kieran groaned again, the sound so lost and helpless, exactly how I felt right now. I was on the same page with him and when had I ever been able to say that? Never had I been on the same page with a girl before, never had I even been in the same fucking book. Shit, I'd never even been in the same goddamn library, that's how detached I always was before.

But this... This was fucking monumental. This was earth-shattering.

This was... right.

Shit.

Tearing my lips from his, gasping at the sudden deprivation to my senses, I stared wide-eyed at the rosy, kiss swollen lips of Kieran, my hands trembling as I snatched them from around his neck. Stumbling back, away from him, not able to meet the confused, even hurt gaze of the man I'd been practically dry humping, I turned and fled.

Tears suddenly obscuring my vision, I escaped from the cabin, fleeing from that truth I'd been running from ever since meeting Kieran. Blubbering, snotty, I ran with no destination in mind, intent only on getting away. I blundered into the tree coverage, unable to see where I was going but not caring.

I ran, quickly developing a stitch in my side, lungs burning and sweat soaking me from the exertion. I could hear the blood whooshing in my ears, hear the erratic pounding of my heart, the rough breaths sawing in and out of my lungs, everything abnormally loud. But none of it drowned out the screaming in my own mind. Running, I didn't even care, didn't even notice the branches snagging at my clothes and hair, scraping against my skin and leaving scratches that beaded with blood.

None of that was important. Nothing was as important as what I'd just blatantly and quite joyfully revealed about myself.

No matter how much the truth had been staring you in the face, that final realization was never easy to swallow.

Not easy at all.

~*~Day Three~*~

We were leaving today.

We were leaving... and I suddenly didn't want to leave. Quite the conundrum, I knew, considering how vehement I was about not coming here but that was before, well, everything.

Now, you might be wondering about my freak out last night, my blubbering, sobbing hissy fit, and all I could say in my defense was that I was a drama queen. Who would've thunk it? I'd expended so much energy denying the truth that had already turned my world topsy-turvy so last night, that kiss, those feelings, they were just a little intense. A little too much a little too soon, you know?

I reserved the right to freak out.

But now the truth was clear, rising like a Phoenix out of the fiery embers of the bottomless abyss I'd repeatedly tossed it into, born anew and stronger than ever.

About time, right?

Crouched on the cropping of rocks I'd perched on yesterday, I flicked a small, flat stone into the water, watching it skip along seven times before sinking. Ever expanding ripples commenced, disrupting the reflective, glass-smooth surface of the water. It was one of the few things I could do with any level of skill out here.

All night long I'd been out here, wallowing in my self-induced misery, only reaching an accord with myself when the first rays of dawn filtered down through the trees. Fog still clung to the ground, a heavy, smoky shroud that sinuously undulated over the water. I stabbed my elbow into my knee, propping my chin on my fist, hearing the soft cadence of the morning birds.

There was a lot of shit left unanswered -- Kieran being the one man I desired, blah, blah, blah. Maybe I was just more into commitment than I thought, being crazily, if subconsciously, devoted to him since I first met him. All those women I'd tried it with never stood a chance because the one man I wanted had been just out of reach for the longest time.

It was poetic, really, romantic as Molly had said. It was... Fate, intervening to offer me something I never knew I wanted, what I needed. God, Molly had been right on the money, and I'd been too much of a fucking pussy to face it. I'd been a coward but no more.

Standing, I skidded back down to solid ground, treading carefully lest I topple into the water. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, and tipped my head back so I could feel the cool morning air caress my face. A fine mist sprinkled my skin, seeping into my pores and lending me a fraction of peace. Peace that had remained just out of grasp all night until now.

This was... nice. I sighed, releasing the tension that had clung to me for far too long.

As much as I loathed all this outdoorsy stuff, there was something to be said about the utter stillness and silence of dawn. Out here, at this moment, there was no need for a front. I didn't have to pretend. And there was freedom in that. Who knew Nature would've actually helped me this weekend? Nature and Molly, both conspiring to get me to admit what was so obvious, and I heeded their call like a good little boy.

Now we were leaving. But first...

First, I needed to find Kieran. I needed to finish this.

If he would even still have me.

******

Kieran wasn't at the cabin.

I stood at a loss in the living room, the silence inside deafening, not sure what my next plan of action should be. All I knew was that I didn't want to leave before seeing him and nothing, no one, would thwart me. If only I knew where to find him. And if he even wanted to be found.

Maybe he was purposely staying out of sight, hoping for out of mind, too, but I couldn't let him do that. It was as simple, and as complicated, as that.

Setting my jaw, straightening my shoulders, I strode determinably out of the cabin, my fists clenched and a calm resolution driving me. Regardless whether this thing played out the way I wanted it to or not, I still needed to find him, to see him one last time. But I faltered just outside because, shit, there were too many places he could've disappeared to.

I worried my bottom lip, chomping until I drew blood. Where, oh where, could my baby be?

Listening intently, I heard the susurrant murmuring of rushing water, the same sound I'd heard when first arriving. I'd thought of it as a babbling brook and now it called to me, pulling me inexorably into the trees. I ducked, dodged, dipped and dived away from those reaching branches, a humming expectation thrumming through my body, but it couldn't entirely quell my anxiety. Trepidation, apprehension, the whole nine yards, holmes; I was feeling it all, a volatile cocktail, shaken not stirred.

But I wouldn't let it deter me.

When finally I came upon the source of that sound, I was smudged with dirt, leaves caught in my hair and shirt a little ragged because a bush had decided to fondle me, but all of my suffering receded at the sight of Kieran. Everything else receded but him.

Eyes wide, breath catching, I gazed around this secret, enchanted hideaway. A small, natural pool of water was sparkling with a lovely emerald gleam, reflecting the wildness encroaching close, exposed rocks like stepping stones extending across to the other side. A beautiful, powerful waterfall fed the stream, frothing white on impact, ripples expanding outward to lap at the muddy embankment.

And Kieran was... naked. Wet. Standing proud and unashamed, his head tipping back to accept a nice dousing from the waterfall.

Mm-mmm. Me want, that treacherous part of my brain whispered.

I waited expectantly for the sensible side to offer objections but, curiously, none came. We were in total agreement for once.

My feet moved of their own accord, stepping closer to the edge of that lapping water, and I must have made some telltale noise because Kieran's head snapped around, icy eyes boring into me. The impact of those clear, fathomless blue depths had me faltering once again, my gaze caught and ensnared. My heart fluttered erratically, the butterflies in my stomach turning into motherfucking Mothra.




Nature's Calling



He didn't need to ask why I was there but... "Are you going to run again?" he asked quietly.

"No, no more running. I'm..." Terrified. I swallowed thickly, forcing myself to meet those bright, aquamarine eyes, forcing the admission out past the constriction of my throat. "I-I'm yours."

And I knew just how to prove it to him. Gathering the tattered remains of my courage, steeling myself for a rejection that could still come, I toed off my shoes, my hands going to the hem of my t-shirt and lifting it up and over my head. Fingers trembling, eyes never once straying from the intensity of his, I quickly undid the button of my jeans, the zipper sliding down with a hiss that would've been almost inaudible under normal circumstances. Soon my jeans were pooling around my feet but my hands hesitated at the elastic band of my ridiculous Bart Simpson, Eat My Shorts boxers, needing some sign of encouragement that I wasn't totally making a fool of myself.

Lips parting, eyes hooding, Kieran waded forward a few inches, enough that the water rose from his hips to just above his belly button. "Don't stop," he husked out, a ragged breath of a plea. "Please... Don't stop, Ethan."

Encouragement received. Emboldened by it, I released a big portion of my anxiety in a whooshing sigh that left me dizzy, and I shoved down my boxers. My cock, so long denied, sprang free and slapped against my belly, the tip already glistening. Still denying it, I kicked aside my discarded clothes, quickly stepping into the cool water. A chill seeped into my bones but it did nothing to douse the rampant desire that was pulsing in my dick and boiling my blood. My feet carried me to the center, wading through the clear, emerald water, my gaze never wavering from the pale perfection of the man staring so fixedly at me.

God, he was gorgeous. I stood just a few feet away, the water rippling at my nipples, pebbling them into hard nubs, my dick pulsing with each of my pounding heartbeats. I blatantly looked my fill, eyes devouring the muscled, alabaster contours of his body. His black hair was slicked back, his lashes spiked and clinging with droplets that fell with each blink, joining the rivulets running down his smooth, muscled chest, down his hard, washboard abs. I'd seen a lot of his body over the weekend but the front view had been limited to just the torso. And what a magnificent torso. But now my gaze dipped below the waist, past the gently lapping water to the wavering image of his amazing phallus.

But then he was suddenly in motion, submerging himself and becoming momentarily invisible, but the brief glimpse I'd gotten of him below the belt had my anxiety returning with a vengeance. He was long and hard, thick and hard and, oh, did I mention hard? Yet that anxiety was superseded by an even more overwhelming excitement.

Bouncing on my toes, I peered beneath the water for Kieran, feeling the tantalizing brush of fingers to my thighs just before Kieran's head broke the surface just in front of me. He tossed his head back, soaked hair flinging away from his face, blinking water from his eyes. And then I was in his arms, my chest plastered to his, our lips impacting and sending electric tingles to every nerve ending in my body. I was fucking buzzing and I couldn't get enough of those jolts, my legs winding around his waist, his dick prodding at me beneath the water.

Kieran swept me from the center to the waterfall, our bodies being pummeled as he carried me through, my ass bumping against the hard surface of smooth rock. I perched there but couldn't force my legs or arms to release him, my head tipping back to meet those aquamarine gems. What I saw in them had me gasping, wondering how the hell he'd ever appeared neutral. Because right now, in this moment, they were blazing with enough heat to start a forest fire, an inferno that I gladly surrendered to. But along with the heat and tenderness and, yes, lust was... love?

My fingers fluttered at his neck, my hands grasping each side of his face, pulling him down for a kiss that I infused with as much emotion as I was capable of. And, yes, there was love in it. I couldn't help it. I was fucking in love with him and I didn't know where or how or when it happened but it had.

"Ethan," he whispered, his lips tearing from mine only to pepper me with tiny kisses at my neck, sucking and nibbling.

Groaning, I leaned back, my arms flinging wide to hold me steady. I undulated against Kieran, unable to stop the motions of my body, unable to fight the pleasure wracking me or the raging fire ignited in my gut and spreading.

My hand gripped the edge of the rock, my elbow knocking over... a bottle of KY? I managed to snort a laugh. "Over-confident much?"

"Hopeful," he corrected, a whispered caress against my skin as he sucked on my collarbone, causing my eyes to roll back in my head and momentarily forget my own fucking name. My collarbone was always a sensitive spot. "I pilfered it from Molly."

"Molly," I muttered. "Little Miss Matchmaker."

Kieran chuckled at my disgruntled tone, even as he continued with those open-mouthed, nibbling kisses. My head lolled on my neck, almost delirious, but I was still aware enough to admit I harbored no ill feelings for Molly. If not for her, I wouldn't be here, in this moment, and that was something I couldn't even contemplate anymore. This was where I had to be, where I needed to be.

"Have you ever done this before?" I asked, my hands kneading his strong chest, smoothing up that silky expanse of flesh, gripping his broad shoulders.

He glanced up at my through the dark fringe of his lashes, his tongue dipping and swirling into my belly button. "I've never allowed myself to get this close to another person, Ethan," he murmured, fingers trailing down my ribcage, tickling touches that made me shiver as goose bumps popped up. "So, what do you think?"

I think that would be a resounding no.

And, God, that it was me who was bestowed with the honor of this... that he was trusting me... it was a humbling thing. And there was also a pride I couldn't squelch, possessiveness rearing its head at the thought that it was only me. And I was reciprocating in kind.

His cool fingers suddenly gripped the base of my cock, his warm breath wafting over the round, mushroom head. I held my breath, my eyes shuttering to half-mast as I stared down at him, at the anxiety he couldn't quite conceal before his hot mouth engulfed my cock. My brain short-circuited, losing purchase on the rock and scrabbling frantically to remain upright, a pressure I couldn't define building. His wicked tongue stroked down my length and I unconsciously thrust upward, bumping the back of his throat and making him gag, but I couldn't control myself. For the first time, I was not in control during sex, but I couldn't exactly complain.

Stroking back up, Kieran met my hooded eyes as he released me with a pop, but disappointment couldn't intrude because his tongue flicked across the tip, lapping at the pre-cum streaming out, before he swallowed me again. My hips were bucking wildly now, fucking with his rhythm, but I couldn't help myself. Couldn't help the garbled, unintelligible words spilling past my lips, couldn't help the thrashing of my body. I was vaguely aware of hearing a snap of the KY opening, his hands gripping my ass, his nimble fingers parting me, delving deep, stretching. The mild discomfort of that was barely noticed as my body suddenly stiffened, a shout scraping my throat raw as my cock pulsed, emptying itself inside the hot, moist haven of Kieran's mouth.  

Kieran sputtered, coughing, and shame slammed into me even as I slumped against the rock in sated bliss. Shame that I hadn't warned him. Shame that I couldn't maintain enough control to last longer.

Shame that disappeared when Kieran gave me a small, satisfied grin as he kissed his way back up to my lips, nothing but love and acceptance and that blazing inferno smoldering in his eyes.

I surrendered myself to that kiss, the fine mist of the waterfall sprinkling over us. I would've expected that release would have cooled the flames of this rampant desire but it really was unquenchable, only seeming to stoke it, the embers reigniting.

Kieran's lips plied my own, but I was aware of him smoothing more of that KY onto his thick, hard cock, pressing snugly against the crease of my ass. "Are you sure?" he asked softly, the tip of him probing at my entrance.

Even with the sudden return of the trepidation, I swallowed and gave him a barely imperceptible nod, my knees raising and clenching tightly against his ribcage. As much as I tried to hide my fear, Kieran could sense it, anyway. His lips molded to mine, administering deep, drugging kisses, his tongue plundering and anesthetizing all my senses enough that when the tip of his cock popped past that ring of muscle at my entrance, I was too delirious to feel any pain. His hands smoothed down my arms to clasp my own, fingers intertwining, raising them above my head to press against the rock. And then he gave a short thrust, slipping in another inch.

This time I couldn't stifle a whimper, every instinct I possessed screaming to remove the foreign object. It hurt worse than I'd imagined it would. The burning, the stretching, it was enough to have my revived cock flagging as he slipped in another small increment.

Kieran's slow, steady pace halted, and his lips whispered against my cheek. "Ethan, do you want me to stop?"

"Don't stop," I ordered raggedly. "Just do it."

His throat convulsed spastically as he swallowed, his eyes tortured with concern, but he obliged with a forceful thrust that breached me the rest of the way. I tried to will the tension out of my body, but I went even more taut as soon as he was seated all the way in me, his balls tapping against my ass. Rigid, panting, I gripped his fingers, nearly crushing them, my eyelids squeezing closed. I felt like I was being split in two.

But then a curious thing happened. That horrendous pain diminished, becoming a mild discomfort that was almost negligent, that violation becoming a slow, seductive penetration. Kieran paused to allow me to adjust but every small movement of his body had his cock probing a little deeper, a little farther, until the tip of him brushed over a bundle of nerves deep inside me.

I gasped, my back arching at the indescribable pleasure of that. My cock sprang to immediate attention again, my little soldier rallying the troops, the tingles assaulting every inch of my body. I was fucking vibrating, a moan bubbling out of my throat.

"Ethan?" Kieran demanded. "Are you all right?"

I shook my head, too incoherent to speak rationally, so I just gripped two fistfuls of his hair and jerked his head forward, smashing my mouth to his. It was a frenzied, furious kiss of battling tongues and dueling teeth, sharp nips to our lips that were soothed with the next swipe of our tongues.

It was enough to unleash Kieran from his restraint, his cock gliding out to the tip, sinking back in with a languorous thrust and with a groan that I greedily swallowed. He continued with those slow, easy strokes for too long before his hips began pistoning, wild thrusts that scraped against that tingling bundle of nerves on every upstroke. And I met him each time, the friction building up the pressure in my own cock, until I was in danger of spurting again.

His hands gripped my knees, raising them so he could deepen his thrusts, and the slight change of angle made him get those nerves at a new, more pleasurable vantage point. I came with a scream, thick ropes bathing both our chests, and Kieran became even more frenzied, getting in three more deep, hard thrusts as my inner walls spasmed around him before he stiffened and emptied himself inside me with a roar that splintered the silence and startled birds into agitated flight.

Panting, I splayed back against the rock, accepting Kieran's weight as he collapsed on top of me. My arms wound tight around him, managing to brush my lips across his temple before my trembling muscles protested.

The silence was only broken by the rushing of the water and our panting, ragged breaths.

A silence broken even more by Kieran's soft, hesitant voice.

"I used to watch you, you know." His warm breath whispered against my neck and I went still, listening intently as he spoke. "I couldn't understand what it was about you that made me jealous of my own cousin, that had me feeling things I shouldn't. Things my dad always said were wrong and sickening. I think I became a little obsessed for a while." His soft voice softened even more, becoming almost inaudible. "I love you, Ethan."

My arms tightened around him and my eyes burned curiously, but when I spoke, I noticed my own voice was whisper-soft, too. And husky, the words almost getting tangled in my throat. "Ditto to all that."

A small grin tilted the corners of Kieran's mouth, and he dragged my unyielding, tired body into the water against my weak protests, rinsing the aftermath of our... lovemaking... off our skin. My arms snaked around his neck but before I could indulge in a lazy kiss, Kieran's eyes widened, holding me at bay.

"What?" I demanded. "What is it?"

"Poison oak," he said. "We need to get you a shot of Benadryl to combat that."

Confused, I glanced down at where his wide, alarmed eyes were directed, inspecting my chest. Among the welts from repeatedly being slapped by unruly tree branches and the mosquito bites dotting my skin was a splotchy, reddish rash spreading across my chest. Jesus, if I started blistering and oozing puss, I was going to be really pissed off.

Mother Nature, you bitch. But I laughed because not even a gross, damn rash could intrude on my fulfilled bliss. Grinning, I speared my fingers into his slick, silky hair, pulling his head down for another of those drugging, soul-moving kisses.

And the two heroes walked, hand in hand, into the sunset, to their happily-ever-after.

Well, not exactly. The road we traveled was pitted and uneven but with each other, each having the other's back and always there to lift the other up when he stumbled, we could conquer all. All the negativity, all the scorn that was still so prevalent, because it was tempered with just as much love and acceptance.

We come back to the cabin often, enjoying the occasional rendezvous beneath the waterfall. As much as I'd begrudged it in the beginning, and even though Mother Nature and I still got into some altercations, the place was good for me. Kieran even more so.

I was complete. I was whole.

I was happy.

And that, dear reader, is what they call the end. But it was only our beginning.