1 comments/ 5258 views/ 0 favorites My Psychic By: bornin54 Twenty years is a long time. Twenty years is a long time to work with one woman. It is even longer time to desire one woman. Trust me. I know. Tess is my assistant. The term "assistant" really doesn't cover her position adequately. She knows our clients as well as I do. She knows our business as well as I do. She is probably as intelligent as anyone I know. She, however, didn't want the responsibility of being known as a lead sales person. Somehow she found career fulfillment assisting me in our company. Tess is simply an incredible woman. In addition to being incredible Tess is the most beautiful woman in my world. Yes, we've worked together for 20 years. She is no kid. Age is not the determiner of beauty. Tess is about 5'5", slim, small A-cup breasts, fair skin, blonde hair (undoubtedly and admittedly dyed), an enticing ass, slender thighs and killer blue eyes. She stays in great shape and always dressed well. I call her style modestly sexy. Tess always smells good. Many a young man would call her a MILF. Many a man of any age has hit on her. But I am the one that gets to spend 8 hours or more with her every day. I am indeed fortunate. Over the many years we have worked closely together. She has been the most faithful woman in my life. Certainly much more so than my cheating wife who I divorced about ten years ago. One doesn't work together that long without becoming close. We became great business partners and close friends. I knew intimate details of her life and her family and she mine. I knew when she went for her mammograms and pap smears and she knew about my colonoscopy and prostate exams. But our relationship in all the 20 years never became sexual. That is until last week. Every day I came to the office knowing I would be able to see my beautiful Tess. Like I said, her style was modestly sexy. Seldom did one get a good shot of extra skin or soft breast through an unplanned gap in her clothing. Believe me, I looked every day. I cherish the few times I did get to see something. This day was no different than any other summer day. Being hot outside she wore a simple skirt and a button up blouse with sandals. This day was also no different in that I spent a fair amount of my imaginative effort in wondering what kind of underwear she was wearing and what it would if feel like to be that underwear. I had deduced over the years that she wore a variety of styles of panties. Some days I could find panty lines and other days there were none discernable at all. I came to the conclusion that she sometimes wore bikini type panties and other times a thong. The day had been long and busy. Between my office area and hers is a partial wall that was about seven feet high. This allowed us to talk during the day while we were both busy even though we couldn't see each other. It was the end of a very busy day. We were the only two left in the office. This was not an unusual situation. In my imagination I had often thought about taking advantage of her during these times. However, I was never willing to risk the trust our working relationship required and had earned. Over the years I had learned by observation of others that good friendships almost always last longer than affairs. This night, as we were both finishing up our tasks we were chatting idly over the wall. Or so I thought. Tess asked me, "Did you know that I am psychic?" "Oh sure." I said, thinking she was simply teasing me. "It's true!" Tess insisted. I have known some who call themselves psychic and have always considered them to be phony. If not phony at least they were terribly deluded. So I challenged her, "OK, prove it." I heard some gentle rustling at her desk. I was puzzled. She then stepped around the wall with something dark dangling over her outstretched finger. I quickly realized it was a black thong. I couldn't help but smile. She walked to my side and draped it over my head. When I inhaled I could smell...Tess. It was a blend of clean mild perfume that she usually wore plus the warm musky smell of what must have been her pussy. "As a psychic," she said, "I know that you have been wondering all day what kind of panties I was wearing." Well, she was absolutely right. "I know more," she said. "Really?" I was curious. Tess bent to reach my arm which was dangling at my side. As she did I could smell her sweetness. She grabbed my arm just above my wrist and placed my palm on her smooth skin just behind her knee. Then she gently pulled my arm up. My hand rubbed slowly up the back of her naked thigh. Tess said, "I know you want to be sure that what I draped over your head is truly the thong I've been wearing today." I looked at my arm disappearing up her skirt. My hand reached the top of her thigh and was clearly moving on to the fullness of her heart shaped ass. She urged my arm higher to the top of her ass. No thong material. Next she urged my hand over to the crack of her ass. She gently pressed my fingers to explore. I let my fingers slowly probe the warmth of her ass crack. I rubbed slowly up and down. I ran my finger in slow circles around her ass hole. I could feel the fine hairs that all people, women included, have in that area. I was reveling in my good fortune. Even more so in the feel of her warm ass in my hand. This was new territory and it was definitely working for me. My breathing was becoming shallow. I wasn't sure how far this would go. I was a bit nervous as well as turned on. "I know something more about your thoughts. Want to know what I know?" said Tess. "Sure." My mouth was just a bit dry. Looking me right in the eye she pressed her hand to mine on her ass indicating that I should continue fondling her ass. Then she began to unbutton her blouse. She slipped it off her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. "You were wondering if my bra and thong were a matching set," she said confidently. Damn if she wasn't right again! "You are really good at this," I told her. "I know," she responded in a breathy whisper. She pulled my other hand up and let me cup her small bra covered breast. The bra was thick and padded. I was wondering what they look like uncovered, especially the color and shape of her nipples. At that same moment she reached up and undid the front clasp in the center and shrugged off the black bra. She draped it over my head along with her thong. It was warm from her body heat and her scent lingering on the bra's material was intoxicating. "You've been what my tiny breasts really look like, especially the color and shape of my nipples," she reported accurately. Her breasts were fabulous. They were small, pointy cones. The fact that they didn't sag was amazing given her age and that she had two children. The dark pink nipples were smallish but topped with pencil eraser sized protrusions. I was pleased to see them protruding. It indicated to me that she was really enjoying this at least as much as I was. I so wanted to put them in my mouth. Tess said, "Taste them," as she put her hands behind my head and directed my lips to her right nipple. Even though my mouth seemed dry I mustered my resources and found enough saliva to slobber over it. Mmmmmmm.... My left hand on her ass, still probing, and my head in her hands as my lips and tongue explored her nipple. How could this get better? She reached down to my right hand. She moved it up the front of her left thigh. She stopped it just short of her pussy. Tess predicted, "You've been wondering...shaved or natural." This is a psychic batting a thousand! My hand slid up the front of her thigh. As I reached the top of her thigh I immediately felt soft downy hair. I could also feel some stubble along the side. She was obviously a trimmer and shaper. I let my fingers wander through the soft texture of her hair. Tess reached behind her. She loosened her skirt. She told me to take my hands off of her, "...but just for a moment." Her skirt dropped. She was now naked except for her sandals and her smile. "I know for years you've been wondering what my natural hair color is," whispered Tess. "Yes, it is true," I answered her. Her pubic hair was light brown. Let me recap. Tess, my assistant and friend of 20 years was now standing naked before me in my office. She, now being a proven psychic, was totally in charge. I was sitting in my chair just a bit dumbfounded and a whole lot delighted. The evening was young. The doors were locked. And I was in no hurry to go anywhere. Tess's skin was smooth and white. Her pointed breasts topped with dark pink protruding nipples, and I could smell her warm scent. Tess slowly did a 360 degree turn in front of me. I love skin. And I was privy to seeing all of hers. "You like what you see, don't you?" asked Tess. It was the first time this psychic asked me a question rather than making a statement. "Tess, I like very much." I said. Tess lifted her leg and set her foot on the front of my chair at my crotch. She bent before me and unbuckled her sandal. She repeated this action with her other leg. Next she leaned back on my desk, lifted her foot to my crotch and rubbed my hard cock. Of course it was hard! She leaned back on my desk. "You want to taste my pussy," she stated matter of factly. I leaned in and kissed her pussy. As I kissed her I inhaled deeply. I love the scent of a lover's arousal. My tongue gently and tentatively probed. Pungent, sweet, salty....mmmmmm. I confess that I was still a little nervous about the whole situation. This was totally destroying the patterns we had established. On the other hand I now had my mouth on the most delicious pussy and my hands exploring the body I had spent years desiring. So I started eating with more gusto. I sensed she was approaching orgasm. Her pussy was more than moist. I was lapping at her pussy like a starving man. Gently, yet firmly, she pushed me away. My tongue was stretching to maintain pussy contact as long as possible. Psychic Tess was in firm control of the situation. She bent down and kissed me passionately. She reached for my hand, leaned back, and placed her feet on my shoulders. She cocked her knees outward and started playing with herself right in front of me. The fingers of one hand dug deep and while the tips of the fingers on her other hand rubbed circles around her clit. Occasionally she rubbed one of her wet fingers across my lips. I was learning what ambrosia tastes like. She had her first mild orgasm. Tess laid back on the desk for a minute catching her breath. As she did I was kissing the inside of her thighs. "Put your finger in my pussy," Tess ordered. With my palm up I slipped my middle finger quickly insider her. She squirmed lightly. "I've wondered for most of these twenty years what it would feel like to get naked with you." "So did I." I confessed. "I know" said Tess matter-of-factly. She took hold of my hand and started moving it as if it were her favorite sex toy. In, out, all around. I was feeling so used. So delightfully used. I didn't want this to end! In a few minutes she came hard. I watched and felt her pussy convulse and contract. I felt her sex fluids flowing over my hand and down my wrist. She didn't squeal like a young woman. Rather she let out a deep uninhibited moan like a real woman satisfied. I just watched her lay there splayed before me. She recovered to normal breathing. The sweat that was dripping from her forehead evaporated to a glistening sheen. When her composure was regained she smiled up at me and said, "Thank you. I hope you don't feel too used." "On the contrary, PLEASE, use me again sometime," I almost begged. Tess said to me, "As your psychic I know you have a hard on. And I know you will be beating off to this evening for a long time. Keep the thong and bra to remember and," she paused with a big smile, "to use as you see fit!" She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. My hands held her ass. With her arms around my neck, my hands on her ass, and her face only an inch from mine she looked me with a twinkle in her eye and said, "Next time, YOU get to use me." She pushed me back to my chair. I watched as she gathered her skirt, blouse and sandals. She threw the blouse over her shoulder and swayed out of the office. My eyes didn't leave her ass until she walked through the door to the back room. Do I believe in psychics? Yes, I do now! My Psychology Of Been A Cross-Dress It has to be said, why this was wrote I am not sure, I am finally beginning to understand the journey I began at the age of six and perhaps doing it this way helps. It's a short narrative, that attempts to explain my thinking and the frustration of accepting who I am. This is not an erotic story; it is factual, honest, account of ones person struggle of the internal and external influences that have come about, without going to much in the dark past of my life. I'm not sure if anyone other than me will actually read this, if anyone other than me is really that interested, though the grammatical errors will undoubtedly be in, it has to be said that it was probably the hardest piece of writing I have done to date. For years it had been hidden, closeted away, indulge once or twice a week, with age I thought the desire, the need the compulsion would fade, it didn't, it got worse, stronger and more resilient. The unyielding ambition, the thought consuming wants of my other personality expanded, frustrations grew, depression commenced, long periods of that, I knew something had to be done an incentive to get things back in order. By the time I was 33 the pain was unbearable, the anguish terrible, mood swings, loss of temper, the distant feeling, sensations of been trapped. I lived my girlfriend, and her three kids, most of whom were grown up, late teenagers, I thought a lot of them, a lot of her but realised I was sacrificing so much of me to make them happy. I couldn't relate this to her, that sickening sense that maybe she would understand, but her kids maybe not, those few months of self inflicted agony, tore the relationship apart. Right or wrong, and don't get me wrong, I still feel awful about it, but I had subconsciously made a decision not to fight to save the relationship. I knew it was going hurt, I was giving up an entire family and a woman that I had come to respect and love, but the complications were massive. In truth I felt atrocious, self confidence slumped to an all time low and in my head was this war between who and what I was. It was a compulsion to accept the inevitable, to embrace my true nature, but to embrace it alone and destroy the very things that for so many years had made me "happy". When the split came, it was more complicated than I thought, gut wrenching, I went through a period where I tried to save it half heartedly, but then backed off as the other side kicked in. I've learnt that when times are sad and depression sinks in, there is only really one thing where I find solace in, the same place I always have had ever since the age of six. The dye, as they say was set, choices made depressed, hating myself, my family, friends oblivious some not caring or at least feeling like that. The compulsion grew within me, the real true need to discover the acceptance; at least my own acceptance of me was paramount and with it came the birth of Nicole. Nicole or Nicola as she has become known, has always existed, few times she has surfaced, but only ever in discreet corners of the world, well my world really! What's changed is a fundamental understanding of her; she is her own lady, who still at times struggles with her femininity. She tries to reach perfection, to understand the mind set of her status, the psychology of her gender and the clash which that often brings. She is loving, compassionate, loyal and always respectful to her superiors, a submissive lady that is hopeful of acceptance, adaptable and open-minded but sane and cautious, often quite shy till one gets to know her. She has visions of how she should look, of at least the true, naked desire to be that female in looks, tirelessly she works to perfect the art of make up, to show her radiant beauty that is there, she hopes, but knows it takes time. Nicola, is in case anyone hasn't guessed by now a tv/cd, though she when dressed believes and acts as a lady. Many TV/CD's and the general population today think of them as nothing more than just sexual enjoyment, they dress for pleasure, but for her, for me, for we both are entwined and will forever be, you can not separate one from the other. There is something sexual/sensual, but 99% of it is just pure nature, a craving in my nature, in my creation that demands to be acted and portrayed. What do we/I want as a person, I guess the same as everyone, to be understand, loved, but also respected, to know that someone knows every aspect of you, accepts who and what you are, encourages that female to grow, and blossom, and never frowns or look down upon you as the words pervert have once or twice been spoken, to me, though they didn't realise at the time, they were classing me as that. Nicola believes in servitude, mutual respectful service, she won't just serve anyone a connection has to be there, the understanding, the principles amongst others. She knows its not just about sex, for her its been able to dress, to be guided, to live the role, the life that suits her and be in the company of an understanding, though challenging Dominant, preferably, the hope is a Mistress, however one has to be real here and accept they are few and far between, most ladies find a cross-dresser repulsive, hence the reason why so many remain closeted these days. This is a shame, as many cd/tv's have a unique understanding of how to please, serve, their Mistress/partner, it is true some of it maybe through gratitude at been dressed but also its about them having or trying to understand the form, the body and mind-set of a woman. In the last six months, Nicola has grown, her wardrobe expands and will continue to do so, her life has changed, her first "daring" outing has taken place, a rushed effort admittedly, 48hrs to gather everything and be at Manchester for the Sparkles event, which though for me lasted just 24hrs, it was utterly fantastic, and well worth the overall £500 it all cost. Now I know I could never give her up, since that first outing, she has grown exponentially, if the hope was, which at one time it was, to do it and think that maybe the feelings would ease down, it certainly was a totally misguided approach or wish, for all that it achieved was opening the true character and ways of my fem form, Nicola even further. I realised that the desires and dreams could be realised, along with the wishes, and hopes, everything got a new lease of life, rejuvenated and feeling totally at ease in her feminine form, the momentum was massive. Today my life has changed beyond anything I thought possible, Nicola isn't just an influence, she is a need, a way of life, her character, her thoughts, transcend into everyday life, she is in my thoughts always. The hunger and yearning to be her never wanes or fails, my only source of true relaxation is to bring her out, to be her and let the feminine woman shine through. A day doesn't go past when I aren't dressed, when I don't think about what I want as her, the hopes and wishes, the indulgence of femininity, to create the lady that she should be. At times I think she is over-powering the male gender that I was born as, but I know also that circumstance as they stand wouldn't permit her to exist 24/7, if a different time, different place existed then she probably would become the full time woman, but my family values and ties to my parent, sisters and grandparents don't allow that, they would frown upon it and as I have already lost my farthers family and the family I gave up to give Nicola this chance, I can not lose my mother's side. How does it feel to become Nicola, liberating, rewarding, self indulgent, happiness, all are true, but I feel like I am being me, that for this period in time when dressed, my life is honest and stress free. Even as a male I am never without something feminine on my body, which is slim, smooth, tall and leggy, lol just so you know!, the feel of silk panties, stockings or tights, lingerie that discreetly graces my form, breathes a wave of silent euphoria throughout me. Peace and serenity prevails if you like. I strive to reach the heights of perfection, to look like a man in drag, or man in a frock, is something I couldn't take, hence the testing and continuous search for that illusive appearance of femininity. Every time I dress, every time I use make up I discover something new, an element that I haven't tried but should, a new way of doing things. The internet is a limitless resource, from pictures of TV glamour models, to personal sites where one can view pictures, to glean information on how to make that subtle but delightful touches that adds to authenticity. My goal is to have pride in myself, to be able to live with that dual role, admittedly Nicola is more dominating over the male form, but that I am learning to accept, I know I can not dress 24/7, the longing is there, but circumstance isn't. I'm acutely aware of the hope I have in finding that mistress/partner, whether I will or not remains to be seen, but I want to be able to make her proud, to know that what she see's is a female who wishes to make both satisfied. Some one that can walk down the street, to be convincing, to carry off the feminine desire and not cause any embarrassment, in this world looks is everything and I certainly know that much. Nicola will continue to grow stronger, the desire to be her I am sure will never leave, she is my addiction, a person within another person, the one that makes me complete and relieves the stresses and tribulations of the day. For the first time ever since I began this adventure, almost three decades ago, now I have found that mental acceptance, recognised what makes me tick and makes me an individual. I can not see any reason why that will change, I don't believe it ever will, I am comfortable in my skin, still frustrated at times, maybe with the events coming up that I hope will be planned, such as the make over sessions and dressing services which I hope to employ, Nicola will get the chance to shine and the results might, just maybe give me the confidence to finally lay that final ghost to rest and be able to express my feminine side without fear.