9 comments/  9189 views/  2 favorites

Love's a Bitch, then We all Die Ch. 01

By: JoiseyMadison



Disclaimer:

This is a work of pure fiction. In tribute to Halloween, I have very loosely based the premise of this story on the cancelled Showtime TV show, DEAD LIKE ME, whose premise I always found witty and a quirky look at life after death. The characters in this story as well as the writing are all my own creation, however the basic ideas were adapted from the show and I wanted to give credit where credit is due.

I hope you enjoy it. Those who know my writing know its not wham bam sex so if you're looking for that kind of story, please kindly pass this one by. Those who choose to read it, please take a moment to comment and vote. Sorry it took so long to post but schools been crazy. Good luck to everyone in the contest. Thanks all.

* * * * *

The young woman's scream shattered the night, echoing in the crisp night air as she ran. The tree branches tore at her clothing, trying to keep her in the grips of the nightmare she had stumbled into. Just this morning her life had been perfect, full of light and promise, but now she was reduced torn clothing barely covering quaking flesh, stumbling over the rocks and fallen branches that had tore her bare feet to ribbons.

A desperate sob escaped from her parched, cracked lips as the howl pierced the night. She ran towards the glistening glassy surface of the lake. The boat was moored to the dock. If she could get to it, she would escape 

Dark hair feathered across her face as she whipped around when a branch cracked behind her, splinters biting into her heels as she backed up onto the dock slowly. When she saw a shadow appear, she gasped. No," she whispered. "Leave me alone, Damian. I don't want this."

"You can't stop the change."

"This isn't my fate! I don't want this!"

"But you do. I can feel your excitement, taste it across my tongue sweeter and thicker than the honey between your thighs."

He smiled as she shuddered. She started to deny it but he leapt forward, knocking her to the dock. She screamed as he pressed her down, his hands fumbling with what was left of her clothing, ripping it off with a sound like flesh tearing.

Her body arched welcomingly under his as the beginnings of the change swept over them. The hair upon his forearms and face began to grow thicker, fuller, his shoulders broadening under her lengthening nails. He leaned his head back, and opened his mouth wide as his face elongated. When he howled again, hers answered... 

A shoe bounced against her newly pointed ears a moment before the scene went black, making the fate of the two furry lovers uncertain. I arched a brow as I glanced over in the direction of the stray Doc Marten, calmly munching on a mixed handful of dill pickle chips and M&Ms. I had a craving for a salty sweet combination and I had already polished off two miniature bags of sour gummy worms and half a dozen packages of Tart&Tinies.

"Guess you're not a fan of the warm and furry."

A growl more realistic than the ones we'd been hearing from the tube for the last hour, trickled from between my roommate's teeth. She slumped lower in her overstuffed armchair, black bangs sulkily brushing the tip of her nose. 

"Movies like that represent just how perverted the Halloween tradition has become. It's not about pagan magic's and mystery anymore. Most people don't even know the true meaning of Halloween anymore. When I was teaching folklore at the University, young people knew there was more to this night than B-rated horror movies on TV, candy that rots our teeth out of our head and costume parties where people get to live out the tool side of their nature and be applauded for it."

"It's just a movie, Miranda."

"You're telling me that this commercialization of death doesn't bother you?"

"We live in New York. We see more death walking through Central Park at 2pm."

"I can't believe you're making light of this, Allison." "It's just a movie. Actors have to make a living."

"Its not just movies! I mean look at the T.V. guide listings for Christ's sake. Look at this one right here." She pointed dramatically at a spot on the little book with a polished red fingernail long enough to be a talon. I pitied that scrap of paper, but wouldn't have traded places for it for the world. 

"Last Dance; Former prom queen meets death on the dance floor and must decide whether the good life is really the live life. How can you not be bothered by the fact that most people don't even believe in the afterlife, yet Hollywood makes billions a years by exploiting it?" Her green eyes narrowed; almost disappearing beneath the heavy black liner that made her look vaguely Egyptian though her accent was pure mid-west bumblefuck. 

"I bet death will come to meet her dressed all in black and be some A-List Hollywood star."

"I liked the one with Brad Pitt. He was easy on the eyes."

"I don't know how you can be so flippant about the stereotypes, Allison. You of all people KNOW what death looks like. When the hell have you ever seen a self-respecting reaper walking around with a sickle?"

Miranda glowered and I switched my attention back towards my bag, crunching on another mouthful of potato chips, whistling low as the salt stung my lower lip. I've known Miranda long enough to know that when she started in on one of her rants, it was time to get real nice and quiet and pretend that I was part of the scenery. Blend in was my motto. She might have been dead, but she still packed a wallop and I wasn't the fighting type. 

I wasn't a lover either to be perfectly honest, because both emotions required a level of passion that I tried to avoid whenever possible. I liked to keep my head down and out of the way. Giving a shit just complicated things and my life had enough complications in it without adding more to the mix.

I chomped a chip. Miranda meant well. Aside from the black clothing and rants about everything and everyone, she still held out hope that there had to be more to life than what was. I on the other hand, firmly believed that life would eventually turn to shit and being prepared for it with a Coke and a smile was the best possible plan of action.

I mean, look at the people of the world for instance. We're governed by laws. Bad people get punished by human law and then get out on parole six months later to maim and kill again. Good people get spit on by most of those parolees and then punished by Murphy's Law which sends them out to my corner of town. 

True, those words might have sounded like the diatribe of one of those new age cynic assholes who believed that God was dead and human nature was just leading us all down a path of self-destruction, but they had the general idea - at least about us all eventually destroying ourselves.

As far as the whole death, Heaven and Hell bit, I knew for a fact it was all real. I also knew that God existed-he was upper management. The other guy was lower management but we peons never dealt with either side directly. We were sort of the middle ground, taking souls in our spare time when we weren't struggling through life just like every other moron who wanted to live in a city where the average salary couldn't buy you coffee and a morning donut.

Oh yeah, one important point I guess I should mention.

I'm a reaper. 

As in grim reaper, but the not cartoon kind all in black and definitely not to be mistaken with death, because that doesn't go over real with the circles I travel in. 

Death is a whole separate division in the bureaucratic hierarchy of the afterlife. We're just the fall guys, there to make sure that souls get where they're going. Where that is exactly, isn't part of our jurisdiction. Actually a lot of things aren't under our jurisdiction, which means we usually feel like we don't know our ass from our elbow. 

For me, this state of affairs isn't that different from my past life when I worked 9-5 at a dead-end job and the only stimulation I got on Friday nights was from my purple plastic friend stashed in my panty drawer beside my bottles of Jack and Midol. 

Being dead hasn't changed anything except my name and my apartment, a crappy little studio in SoHo. Whoever said that the afterlife is supposed to be all light and happiness is probably on mind-altering drugs and shouldn't be allowed near small children.

My chair creaked as I got up to refill my empty bowl, my gaze moving away from Miranda for a moment to the clock. She continued her rant and I nodded absently, offering a few grunts in acknowledgement to nothing I had actually heard as I studied the bright plastic alphabet letters I had arranged on the refrigerator as a reminder of tonight's gig.

J.B. Duff , E. T. D. 12:00 a. m. Central Park.

Miranda thought it was tacky that I liked to use the kid's toy to keep track of my pick-ups, but it was a sure way of not mixing up our Post-its when we were both home. That had happened once and lets just say I got the short end of the stick there; blood does not come out easily from silk. I yawned as I looked at my watch to make sure that the wall clock hadn't died again.

It was 11:20p.m. Forty minutes till the witching hour and estimated time of death for the unknown J.B who could have been man, woman or child for all I knew. I always hated the anonymous ones. They could be tricky as shit. Family reunions were the worst.

I set the empty bowl down on the tiny two-seater table in the kitchen and grabbed the leather jacket draped over the back of one of the chairs. I'd never owned a leather jacket when I was alive, but the girl this one had belonged to wouldn't need it anymore. This late at night, the tiny bloodstain on the right sleeve would look like ink. I grabbed my keys and dropped a few fish food sticks into Mr. Happy's bowl before I moved back to the living room where Miranda was still going strong. 

"What time is your pick-up?"

"Same as yours. Cassandra said it's a double. She thought it would e easier to go together."

"Good. So let's go." I got her jacket from the closet and tossed it to her before I checked my hair in the mirror. 

The whole reflection thing still took some getting used to. It'd been five years since I'd joined the ranks of those who gave less than a rat's ass about life because we didn't really live it, and I still got spooked every time I passed a storefront window.

My hand patted nondescript brown hair into place, though the poker straight strands never needed much fixing. They just hung as limply as overcooked spaghetti around a face with a generous mouth with thin lips, a too pointed chin and wide, freckled cheekbones, illustrating that though death might get you a crappy apartment with a fierce looking landlord and fiercer leather jacket, it couldn't make you a knock-down, drag-out hottie. Of course I couldn't really bitch since this was the first time that I had seen the face I'd been born with in a year. Only on Halloween could we be seen for who we truly were."Time to go."

"You haven't been listening to a word I've said, have you?"

"Course I have. The world sucks and so does everyone in it who still needs to breathe air. Let's go. I want to grab some moo-shu pork before we hit the park." 

"That's not enough time for takeout." Her eyes narrowed. "We'll see if you're this facetious when they start running re-runs of The Corpse Bride."

I paused, poking my head back inside the apartment. "Don't even go there."

"Well I'm sorry, but I needed to get some kind of reaction out of you."

"You're going to get my heel up your ass if you don't shut up and get the hell out of this apartment now so I can get some MSG into my system and think about grease instead of how many ways I'd like to kick your ass."

She sniffed as she pulled on her hoodie with the cat ears sewn to the top and then slid on a black sequined eye mask. I had a white one that matched the bridal veil my boss, Cassandra, had sent over with a note to have a "Happy Halloween." I planned to respond with my keys and a smiley face drawn into the side of her car but hadn't gotten around to it yet.

Everyone was a comedian.

"Will you at least concede that Halloween has become perverted by big business and is a disgrace to the pagan rituals and traditions that have held it sacred for thousands of years?"

"Do I get my pork?"

"And an egg roll."

I grinned as we walked out the door. "All right, Miranda, you win. Halloween has become all about women wearing lingerie with bunny ears for men who stuff socks down their pants. Trick-or-treating is now a cash business and B-rated movies keep has-been actors in Hollywood."

She beamed. She was proud that she had managed to get someone else to drink the Kool-Aid. Bully for me.

"But I still think that Brad Pitt was easy on the eyes..."

* * * * *

I hated my life. Miranda had won the fight and I hadn't gotten my egg roll or even a sniff of one. I was hungry and tired and it was going to be a long night, especially since it was five minutes to midnight and not a single Tom, Dick or Harry, let alone a J.B. Duff, had walked by. 

"It has to be a man," I muttered. "Always unreliable." I breathed into my chilled hands, and then rubbed them up and down my arms, trying to breathe some life back into the dead cowhide covering me. The temperature had dropped about 10 degrees since the afternoon and I was planning on having a cup of microwave hot-chocolate with real marshmallows if J.B. Asshole ever decided to grace me with his presence. 

"I'm freezing."

"Yeah, well join the club."

I watched my breath float away in a round ring, and then glanced around the park. This late at night, the only people around were the occasional homeless man and of course two girls standing on a bridge who looked like a serial rapist's fantasy come to life. A little bit from either spectrum to whet the appetite.

"so who's your appointment tonight? Anyone good? That lawyer from your last pick-up was fun. If I ever get married again, the sucker better pray he doesn't want a divorce or I will bury him."

"It's just something Cassandra asked me to do when I saw her earlier. It's no big deal."

I arched a brow. She was being evasive. Miranda was many things, but evasive was never one of them. She also never fidgeted and as I watched, she twirled her hair around her finger twice and shifted from foot to foot.

I felt my eyes narrowing. "Who is it?"

"You'd better put your mask on, Allison."

"I'll die before I wear that thing. Answer me."

"You're already dead."

"Well..before I die again then."

Miranda arched a brow and I burrowed deeper into the collar of my jacket to try and spread some of the heat from my cheeks to my nose. She was trying to change the subject and I knew it, but I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to know who was on that Post-it of hers if she was trying so hard to avoid answering.

I'd only been dead five years. That was barely a college degree for most people these days. I hadn't really had time to lose anyone close to me, not that there really had been that many in that circle to start with when I'd been alive. As far as I knew, my parents were still alive and miserably married and my brother and sister were each living in separate wedded bliss in opposite ends of the country.

I wanted to know who was on that Post-it." 

I really needed an egg roll.

"You know that Halloween is the only day that we are revealed for who we really are and you've only been dead five years. All you need is someone to come by and recognize you...."

She trailed off, smiling triumphantly as I held up one hand to make her stop, the other reaching for the mask that had been in my back pocket. It was a little smushed, but you could still make out the silhouette of the kissing couple in the corner of it. Had there been a dog around, I would have invited him to mark his territory on the sequined atrocity.

She moved around to help me tie it, but I stopped her when I saw movement on the path. "Someone's coming." I glanced at my watch and nodded in satisfaction as Mr. J.B Duff decided to keep his appointment with five minutes to spare. I whipped the half-tied mask off and let it flutter from my hands to the ground right in front of J.B's path as he came up onto the bridge. I dove for it, knocking into his knees, both of us nearly going down.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry! I'm such a klutz," I gushed, my hand moving to his leg to brace myself as if I had suddenly reverted to my sea legs. I widened my eyes, channeling every blonde I had ever met as I retrieved my mask, one hand stroking up his leg in the process, giving him the last cheap thrill of his life before I straightened.

Mission accomplished, our eyes met, his looking slightly unfocused before he pushed past me and Miranda, moving down the bridge onto the next path that was shadowed by the trees. I grinned at Miranda, but the look on her face made it falter.

I knew that I shouldn't turn around. I could feel it deep down in my bones, but you know human nature. We are physically incapable of putting our heads into the sand when we really need to. You'd think death would make us smarter. 

Miranda was looking over my head at something and I turned even as she said, "Allison, I'm sorry."

"Shit," I murmured with feeling. 

Not the most eloquent words I had ever spoken, but I'm not sure there really is a speech book anywhere that discusses the appropriate things to say when one's former fiancé who was never prompt in his life, shows up on time for a date with death.

"This isn't happening."

"I'm sorry, Allison. I should have told you, but Cassandra didn't want you to know. She had me nab his soul earlier at the local diner so you didn't have to see it. She knew how you would get."

"So you thought, well I'll just let her see him then say, 'Whoops! By the way it slipped my mind that your fiancé is about to meet his maker?'"

"Well from what you told me about him, I don't think it's his maker he's meeting tonight."

"Ok, that is so not funny."

I turned back to look at the man who was approaching J.B. Duff and held my breath. Five years later and the son-of-a-bitch still had the ability to take my breath away. Of course since he was responsible for my death , that didn't come as a surprise.

He looked good. 

Really good. 

Too good for a man who was going to be a chalk mark on the ground in the next two minutes. 

My gaze slid over him, taking him in. I considered warning him, but I knew the show would go on no matter how I felt about it. I had a front row seat for the action so I might as well take advantage of it.

His dark hair was longer, tugged back into a short ponytail that I immediately deemed ridiculous so I wouldn't think about what it would look like if it was left to curl around those strong features, highlighting his cheekbones and the cleft in his chin.  

He was though he'd put on some weight since the last time I'd seen him. It filled out his leather bomber jacket and low slung blue jeans nicely, making him look more like a man than the boy who had broken my heart, leaving me stranded at the altar waiting to say I do while the whole church whispered, "He didn't!"

Oh yes he did.

He hadn't even left a note. He'd skipped town leaving me alone in my white couture dress that I had managed to snag at a sample sale, sitting in the middle of a pile of presents with a bottle of champagne. 

It was the damn champagne that did me in. I thought, 'Hey, why not? A two hundred dollar bottle is sitting here just going to waste because I've been jilted and hope my not-to-be-future husband bites it somewhere hard. Why not take advantage and indulge?' It seemed a brilliant idea at the time, at least until I opened the bottle. My claim to fame is to have been done in by a cork that popped up, bounced off my ridiculously large tiara to the ice bucket and then ricocheted back to catch me in my drunken mouth, effectively sealing off my air passage and any curses I could have put on Garrett.


Love's a Bitch, then We all Die Ch. 01



I glanced at Miranda as she pointed at her watch. I swallowed then looked back towards Garrett and J.B. I could hear them arguing, their voices getting louder and louder. Garrett pushed J.B. who apparently wasn't a fan of the hands-on-game. I saw him reach into his pocket and closed my eyes.

I didn't have long to wait. The shot came a minute later. I jumped, my eyes flying open. Garrett lay on the ground with a widening pool of darkness around him.J.B.'s head shot up in our direction. I saw his eyes widen as he jerked the gun up towards us, backing up a step. 

To his credit, he managed to fire, but the bullets missed us by a mile. He wasn't so lucky. He stumbled over Garrett's body and fell backwards into the lake. He screamed a few times, bobbing and flailing, begging Miranda and I for help. We sat on the bridge and made ourselves comfortable. She offered me another gummy worm and I took it, chewing until J.B. Duff went under and stayed there. 

"This is bullshit," I muttered. "I can't believe this is happening."

"Everyone dies, Ally.""

"Can the life lesson crap, Miranda. Tonight is not the night for this. God I need a cigarette,"

I patted my pockets down, trying not to look at the body lying on the ground just twenty feet from us. No matter how much time I spent around death and dying people, I still hadn't quite gotten over the 'eww gross' stage yet when I saw a dead body. 

I had no problem with stripping them of their valuables. It wasn't a problem with my morals. Those went out the window the day I realized that my afterlife wasn't going to help me pay my bills or survive. Pocketing some loose change and a few billfolds here and there was supplemental income. 

I didn't like all the blood and guts that you saw in my division. We handled all the messy deaths - murders, gruesome accidents, suicides, etc. I once had a headless guy sit next to me for forty-five minutes on the platform after a train accident. It's a whole different kind of creep factor.

I would have taken the headless guy tonight over having to look at Garrett's body. I didn't know how to feel. My emotions were jumbled like a ball of twine, knotting in my stomach till I wanted to puke. 

Granted the man was partially responsible for my death. That wasn't a grudge that I would let go of easily. I liked it right where it was actually; keeping my heart nice and warm. He deserved my scorn and contempt, but somehow looking at his body sprawled there on the grass didn't fill me with my usual sardonic glee at the sick irony of the world and how it equally fucked everyone, going round and coming back again.

Actually it pissed me off. 

I'd loved him once.

 Hah, yeah right like you really mean that in the past tense

I frowned. I had been done in by a cork on my wedding day, buried in all my wedding finery (my mother's idea) and now I was living in a crapshoot apartment, waitressing during the daylight hours just to scrape enough together to get by. But Garrett got to live his life and go quick and clean and now move on to whatever happy place awaited for him.

It was bullshit. 

"I can't believe you just stood there!"

I breathed a smoke ring over my head and looked calmly at J.B. Duff who was standing beside me. I passed the cigarette to Miranda who took a puff and then handed it back to me. I tapped some of the ash on J.B's shoe, taking some amusement in the fact it went straight through to the grass and spooked the shit out of him. 

"What did you expect me to do? Jump in after you?"

"Any decent person would have!"

"Any decent person, sir, would not be standing in this park at 12:00a.m killing my fiancé."

He blinked then looked at Miranda who held up her hands. "Don't even look at me. I have my own pick-up to worry about."

"This is bullshit!"

Amen.

I stiffened, turning slowly as Garrett appeared behind us. He wore that bewildered expression you usually saw on the new ones. First came the blinking eyes and disorientation, then the disbelief. After that it got real interesting with attempts at deal-making and all sorts of other fun stuff.

Garrett rubbed a hand through his hair, looking first at Miranda then J.B and finally me. He blinked again, going pale which was a neat feat for someone that was dead. He blinked again, his mouth opening and closing a few times like a fish out of water. He looked back at Miranda and she hopped off the bridge, offering him a hand.

"Whoa...Ally? What the fuck?... What the hell happened? Wait what are you doing here? You're dead!"

Yeah, I'd always liked his brains myself.

"No. You're dead. She's undead," Miranda interrupted with a smile that was empty as a light-bulb but dazzling. "It's a difference we're pretty proud of actually.

"This isn't happening."

He looked at J.B again, pointing a finger. "You shot me, you son-of-a-bitch."

"Hey don't start pointing fingers at me, mate. I have enough problems of my own. Your little girly there just sat there and watched me drown. I want to speak to someone about that."

"You're free to write down your complaints, sir, and when you're finished you can shove them up your ass."

I grinned at Miranda, but felt it slip when Garrett pulled away from her, leaning towards me. I instinctively pulled back as he invaded my personal space. His brown eyes were dazed as he grabbed me by the shoulders, holding there.

"Am I really dead?"

"Yep."

"But I wasn't ready to die."

Hah. Like I hadn't heard that one before.

"Well then I guess you shouldn't have been picking up dope in the middle of the Park in the middle of the night. Not a real good life plan for anyone."

"What? I'm not a drug addict, Allison."

"No? So what pray-tell were you doing? Curious minds and all."

"He's a Narc, the no good bastard."

I felt my mouth drop open into a silent O of surprise. Miranda whistled low and then took J.B's hand and led him safely out of range.

"You're a cop?"

"Well I was until about ten minutes ago."

"I thought you sold insurance."

"I was undercover."

"I'll fucking say. No wonder the rate quotes you gave me for my Volvo were crappy." 

He shot me a dirty look and looked over his shoulder at his body for a moment then back to me. "Christ, this is a fucking mess. It was supposed to be a standard transaction and pick-up."

"Aren't you supposed to have a partner or something?"

"Yeah, he's one of my best customers," J.B. chimed in. I grabbed Garrett by the front of his shirt as he tried to get at him. 

"Whoa, ok. Look this has been a long night for all of us and I plan to go home and get so drunk I will be fascinated by the fact I have feet. So, Garrett, you need to go with Miranda over there and J.B., you need to come with me so you guys can move into the light and all that happy horseshit."

Garrett's eyes narrowed. He looked down at my hands, slowly sliding his over mine. "You look good, Ally. For being dead and all."

"I died but I am not dead, Garrett. I'm part of the undead."

"Like a vampire?"

"No. I'm a reaper and we shouldn't be having this conversation. We're not supposed to fraternize." 

It was a load of crap but it sounded good and I tried to focus on the fact that he was dead to avoid focusing on my suddenly elevated heart rate. Hunky ghost or not, he was a dead man and I wasn't into kinky stuff. But I had to keep reminding myself of that fact when he touched me, his hands still big and calloused, confident as he kept me right where he wanted me. 

It was dark, I was tired and I shouldn't have been thinking of how sexy my dead ex-fiancé was because it might have led to something equally stupid like the words, 'take me' falling out of my mouth. I hadn't had a drink in the last 36 hours so I had no excuse for suddenly wanting to drag him away from Miranda and J.B onto the nearest park bench. 

The wind rustled through the trees and made me shiver as it kissed my skin. I suddenly felt more warm and alive than I had in the last five years. I cleared my throat and pushed his hands away, choosing anger as the lesser of the two evils that would get my heart rate up and the blood flowing to all the right places. I pointed my finger at his nose, taking J.B's hand with my free one.

"Look, Garrett, we had some fun, you dumped me and I moved on to a whole new life."

Literally.

I gave him my best 'talk and die look' knowing that if he opened his mouth again, I might be tempted to cover it with my mouth, licking into him, pulling him down on top of me so I could...

Fucking A.

"Look, I don't have time for this. You ruined my life and karma's a bitch. Now you go with that nice woman over there and enjoy your afterlife. I sure as hell am going to enjoy mine. 

"Let's go, Duff."

I dragged J.B away, trying to figure out why karma only decided to show her bitch side to me.

"Hey Duffie, you don't mind if I call you, Duffie do you? How would you feel about stopping for an egg roll?

* * * * *

Someone was pounding at my bedroom door. The blinking lights on my alarm clock declared that I had been asleep for only two hours. That didn't bode well for the longevity of the person standing on the other side of that door.

"Go away."

"Allison, it's Miranda. Open this door. We have a problem."

"The only problem we have is you talking. Go away."

"Allison, open this door immediately."

I groaned, letting my face drop into the pillow, sinking deeper and deeper into it till it flattened out on either side of my head. I wanted to just lay there and slowly smother, but since I'd been there and done that, I sighed and rolled over. The floor was ice cold against my feet as I scuttled to the door on the balls of my feet. I yanked the door open, ready to give Miranda a piece of my mind.

I closed it immediately when I saw Garrett standing next to her.

Coward? Nah.

"Allison open this door."

"What the hell is he doing here?"

"He's the problem I was trying to tell you about. Now open this goddamn door or I'll just have him walk through it."

I sighed, tugging down the bottom of the oversized tee shirt I wore to bed so it covered a little more than just the curve of my butt. When I opened the door, Garrett was still on the other side. He grinned and I felt my heart flip-flop. 

I shot him the bird then looked at Miranda. "Why is he here?"

"He wouldn't go into the light. This has never happened to me before. No one ever doesn't go into the light, Allison. There are rules. They die, we pick them up and they move on to wherever they're going. That's how it goes. But this one," she said pointing at Garrett, "said that he wasn't going anywhere until he saw you."

"Why the hell does he want to see me?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't say."

"Hello, I am standing right here, ladies."

We both ignored him.

"Cassandra isn't going to like this, Allison. You know how concerned she is about everything running smoothly."

That was a polite way of calling Cassandra a bitch. Wait, I take that back. Cassandra was driven and focused and expected the same of us at all costs, so correction, concerned was a PC way of calling her a heinous bitch. No matter what we called her, we both knew that this little situation had to go away before she found out about it.

Miranda looked more stressed than I had ever seen her and she wasn't the kind to get rattled easily. She'd been killed during a war protest in the sixties after she had chained herself to a gate. Not much fazed her after that, but tonight she had two spots of color high on her usually pale cheeks and I wasn't in the frame of mind to handle a reaper breakdown. I had my own problems, starting with the 6'2 one that was standing beside her, looking at my bare legs with too much interest for a dead guy.

I frowned, yanking the hem of the shirt down another inch. "Cassandra isn't going to find out about this," I said to Miranda. "And you," I said poking Garrett in the chest. "I don't know what you're trying to do here, but I can't help you. You're dead. Your time's up. It's time for you to move on and get the hell out of my apartment."

"I can't move on, Ally. It's like I told her. I just couldn't go into that light without seeing you."

"Well you saw me. Now go with Miranda before here has a melt-down. I need sleep."

I closed the door, blinking as he appeared through it a moment later. He looked surprised, and then grinned with such obvious pleasure at the neatness of that trick that I might have found it endearingly cute if I hadn't been pissed off.

"Whoa that's crazy. Why is it I can touch you but not anything else?"

"Because I'm an anomaly between life and death," I answered, distracted as Miranda yelled through the door. 

"Allison, I can't handle this tonight," Miranda called through the door. "I am going out to go have a drink and pick up a guy at a bar who actually has a pulse. I'll see you later."

"You can't leave me alone with him, Miranda!"

I jumped as I heard a door slam. Garrett grinned at me, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Sounds like she's gone."

"And that means you should follow her. I mean it, Garrett. You're breaking all kinds of rules here."

"Who makes up the rules."

"Management."

"Who's management?"

"You don't want to go there."

I sighed, tousling my hair with both hands as I started to pace. I'd been a pacer when I was alive and had perfected it the first two weeks of my afterlife. I went through the carpet in less than a year so I invested in area rugs now. They were a lot cheaper and helped change up the color scheme in the room when I was feeling froggy.

Garrett looked around the room, examining the papers on my desk. Since he couldn't pick anything up, I ignored him and kept pacing, trying to figure out what to do with him. I knew that this was somehow all going to land on my plate. It always did - granted it was usually with good reason, especially since I had been less than the perfect little reaper when I was turned over, but I had improved.

Honestly I had.

I sighed as I looked back at Garrett who was eyeing my bed with interest, It was the only item in the room that I had actually splurged on. It was a queen size waterbed with an Egyptian cotton duvet and mounds of pillows. It was large enough to easily sleep two but I wasn't planning on having a bunkmate tonight.

"Garrett," I began.

"I need to make love to you, Ally."

Whatever words I had been planning to say went on hiatus. I blinked, blinked again and then reverted to staring.

Oh... My... God...

No he didn't.

Yes he did.

I shook my head and started laughing as this was too much even for my love of irony. "What the hell are you talking about, Garrett? You're dead. Last time I checked, ghosts don't get hard-ons."

When he didn't laugh, my grin wilted a little at the edges. "Garret, tell me you're joking."

I looked up at him as he crossed the room to stand in front of me. He smiled and I punched him as hard as I could in the shoulder. "Ow, what was that for?"

"What the hell kind of game are you playing? You're dead."

"Jesus, you pack a punch. Where the hell have you been working out?"

I punched him again, ignoring the urge to shake my hand out and jump around as pain flared through it. Being dead had changed nothing about him since the last time I'd seen him. The bastard was still causing me pain.

"Focus Garrett. You're dead. Dead men do not have romantic rendezvous or, if they know what's good for them, proposition the women they left at the altar."

"We have to discuss that."

"We have nothing to discuss! You caught a bad break tonight and it was your time to bite it. My roommate just happened to have to be the one to pick-up your soul and now she's probably out there courting some walking venereal disease because you're not cooperating!"

"Whoa, ok. We really need to discuss this. I did not leave you."

"Right, so I fell into a drunken stupor and accidentally killed myself with a champagne cork because I was toasting our happy nuptials."

"You were killed by a champagne cork? I didn't know that. All your parents told me was that it was an accident. They had a closed casket so I assumed it was a car accident or something. How the hell did you manage to kill yourself with a champagne cork?"

He arched a brow and I felt my cheeks start to burn with a dull heat. I knew that he could see it. When I was well and truly embarrassed my entire body turned the color of a cherry tomato, starting my ears and slowly working itself down so the humiliation continued for awhile.

I cleared my throat, trying to gather the remaining shred of my dignity, my voice coming out as chilly as a PMSing Puritan's. "That's none of your business. What were you doing at my funeral anyway? I'm surprised my father didn't tackle you at the door."

"He tried, but I had an explanation."

"I'm sure you did. You were always good at explanations." I laughed, wishing I had gone with Miranda for that drink. "Garrett, this is a pointless conversation and I am tired and want to go to sleep, so please, how about you take your excuses and just poof your way out that door?"

"No. We need to settle this once and for all."

I protested as he grabbed me, picking me up and tossing me over his shoulder. My hair fell into my eyes in a silky tangle, thankfully blocking my view of his backside as he walked us over to my bed. I pounded on his back with my fists, squealing when he returned my aggression with a hard pinch to my butt.

"Put me down, Garrett!"

My breath escaped in a whoosh as he tossed me down to the bed and covered my body with his, effectively pinning down my arms and legs like some ghostly arachnid. I wiggled, but he just pressed harder, the mattress sinking beneath us. My hands were curled helplessly against his chest and I tried not to think about the warm, masculine weight of him that I had missed more than I wanted to admit. 

He felt solid and real and though I knew it was all bullshit, I couldn't help the soft sound of pleasure that escaped from my throat as he adjusted himself more snugly between my thighs, proving to me that even dead man could still feel the happy vibe.

"You are going to listen to me, damnit. I'm dead. The least you can do is grant me one last wish."

"I don't owe you anything!"

"No," he agreed somberly, "you don't, but I do owe you an explanation and you will get it, even if I have to lay here all night with you." He paused, his hazel eyes lightening with an impish glint. "Not that that's really any kind of torture."

I pressed my lips together tightly, trying to prevent the smile that was threatening to creep across my lips, hating myself for letting him get to me. I'd never been able to stay angry at him for long - well unless you counted the grudge I had been carting around for five years, but that was justifiable.

"Garrett, let me up." 

"No. We need to talk about this. Just listen, please."

I wanted to say no. I knew that I should say no. But when he freed one hand to gently brush my hair back away from my face, his fingertips lingering, I just nodded.

"Ok..." he paused, taking in a breath. "God I didn't think this would be so hard. Look, I lied to you, Ally. I know it was wrong and you will never know how truly sorry I am for that, but I had to. It was part of my job."

"What are you talking about?"

"I was working for the DEA when we met. I was undercover and my assignment was to make my way into the drug cartel that was importing from Colombia. I'd been inside for over a year and a half when I met you. Before that I was married to my job and never got involved because my work was dangerous and I didn't want to drag anyone into a world where I might make them a widow a few months after I made them my wife. I wasn't counting on meeting you, Ally but when I did I couldn't stay away."




Love's a Bitch, then We all Die Ch. 01



"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to get you involved. The things I saw in there..." he paused, shaking his head. "I didn't tell anyone about you. I wanted you off of their radar. I don't have any other family, Allison.

I wasn't sure how to take that so I stayed quiet, though I'm sure my expression must have said something along the lines of 'well aren't you just a fuck-head,' because he sighed again. 

"Ally, I'm sorry. That came out wrong. Look, I should have told you. I know that, but I was afraid of losing you. I wanted to protect you. I didn't want to see you get hurt because of my job."

"I was killed by a fucking champagne cork, not the Columbian drug cartel, Garrett."

"Jesus Christ, Ally, you still don't give an inch do you?"

"I'm a reaper not a saint, Garrett."

"Yeah, and dead you're an even bigger pain in the ass."

"That still doesn't explain why you left me on the altar."

I glared some more. He glared back. 

"Goddamnit, I didn't walk out on you! The case got blown wide open by an informant on the inside a day before the wedding. My cover was blown and our star witness and my partner were killed by car bomb planted in our vehicle. Because I was the lead detective on the case I had to transport the other remaining witness into protective custody." His expression tightened as he looked down into my eyes. "I had to transport him out of state."

"On you wedding day?!"

"They didn't give me a choice Allison."

"You could have at least called me, Garrett! How long would it have taken to make a damn phone call and say hey, sorry, Al, but you'll have to cut the cake without me because I have to escort drug-boy into hiding?!" 

"I was going to call you but then I started thinking that it could have been you who was killed, and how you were marrying a man who didn't exist and how one day I might not come home and then you would find out the whole truth of who I really was and everything would just go to hell in a hand-basket." 

He paused, his expression sobering as he looked down at me. His thumb feathered across my hairline, making my skin prickle with awareness. I inhaled sharply when his thumb traced down over my cheekbone to move gently back and forth over my lips.

"I was going to tell you when I got home but ... you were dead."

Sorrow flooded his features and I felt my heart tug. I didn't want to cry, damnit. I didn't want to feel a damn thing. I wanted to be angry, to tell him what an asshole he was for lying to me no matter what the reason. I needed to be mad, because resentment and rage were easier to deal with then the sudden overwhelming wave of sorrow that swept through me when his jaw tightened in the way it always had when he was fighting deep emotion. 

I pulled my hands free, putting them over my face for a moment, willing myself to stay strong. I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of my hand lotion. I needed something to focus on, anything other than the knot in my chest that felt like it was going to uncoil any minute now and let chaos break loose.

"Ally," he said gently. "I'm sorry. I can never tell you how sorry I am. I was stupid. I know that and I don't expect you to forgive me. I just need you to understand that I never stopped loving you. I always wanted a life with you. I wanted that more than I have ever wanted anything my life. I still want you."

My heart wasn't supposed to beat, but it broke with every word that fell from his mouth. I couldn't believe this was happening. Mr. Murphy had apparently set his sights on me to make me the prime example of how his laws worked.

My throat clenched but I couldn't let in the softer emotions because I knew as soon as I did, I was going to break and I didn't want him to see me break. He had reasons for leaving but it didn't erase the fact that I was dead and stuck here, while he got to move into the light as soon as he stopped being an asshole. Because he'd lied to me, my life was over. Maybe that was a bit melodramatic and unfair, but damnit, I had a right to be selfish tonight.

"I can't believe you lied to me."

"I said I was sorry."

"Right." 

"Goddamnit, Allison!" he yelled. "I am trying here. I fucked up and I am sorry all right? I am sorrier than you will ever know. I quit the damn agency when I found out you'd died and I joined the dregs of the local department's narcotics division because I was hoping that maybe some junkie would do exactly what that son-of-a-bitch J.B did tonight; just end it all and then I wouldn't have to keep seeing your face every night when I went to bed."

He swore as he abruptly let me go, pulling away. "Forget it. This is bullshit. I should have gone into that goddamn light."

"Yea, well..."

I fumbled, at a loss of what to say. I sat up and just watched him walk to the window, oblivious that he was standing in the middle of my desk.

"Do you love me, Ally?"

"What?"

"It's a simple question."

"Garrett, look. This has been a crazy night and I don't think that this is a conversation that we should be having right now. I need to get a beer."

I stood up and walked out before he could protest, but instead of going to the kitchen, I moved into the living room and sat on the couch, tucking my knees up to my chest. I turned the T.V on, flipping absently through the channels. I needed a distraction, any distraction. I would even have settled for the Corpse Bride tonight, but the only thing on was infomercials for the Magic Bullet. I couldn't fix my love life or my afterlife but I could make fabulous guacamole in less than 3 click of dildo shaped plastic.

I turned off the T.V. with a sigh then jumped as Garrett appeared in front of me. I hated it when spirits did that. It was disconcerting as hell.

He knelt down in front of me, his eyes focused on mine as he took my hands between his, twining our fingers together. "Ally," he said quietly, "do you love me?"

I didn't know what to say. I felt myself torn with the emotions that I had avoided for the past five years. I wasn't the emotional, girly type of woman. Maybe I had been once, but that had been a long time ago and that girl was dead. I was part of the undead now and we couldn't afford to get involved or cling to our old lives because it just created complications and I didn't need any more complications. Especially not beautiful ones with soulful eyes that made me regret ever having opened that damn champagne bottle. 

When I didn't answer, he reached up, his hand tangling gently into my hair. He tightened his hold to gently bring me down an inch before he leaned up. He hesitated and I felt his breath over my mouth, hovering there for a moment. I didn't know what to do. We had crossed a line somewhere and I couldn't think clearly enough to get back to it so I let him lead me. 

His mouth brushed slowly over mine, just a brief touch as if he was feeling me out, waiting for me to tell him to go to hell again. I knew I should, but instead I opened for him, allowing him to deepen the kiss, his tongue a brief wet tease that was sexy as hell across my lower lip. I exhaled into his mouth, feeling him smile before he stroked his tongue against mine with the confidence he had always shown around me, taking me into his arms and stretching me out on the couch beneath him.

My god, I had missed this. We had never done anything that had defied my father's 'one foot on the floor at all times' rule, but I had forgotten how intimate a kiss could be. Lips and warm, wet heat that sent a wave of pleasure through my body as he brushed his mouth down the column of my throat and then moved back up to nip my earlobe. He teased it with his teeth and tongue, whispering in my ear that he was going to work every part of my body in the same way, making up for lost time.

I knew I should stop him. I was breaking more rules than I wanted to think about right now, but I couldn't seem to stop my hands from moving down the warm solid muscle of his back, feeling his strength before I pushed the jacket off of his shoulders. He shrugged out of it and then grinned down at me as he dragged his tee shirt over his head. 

I felt my mouth go dry and my hormones kick into high gear, yelling 'Oh boy!' as my gaze slid over a strong, muscled chest with the same light furring of hair that darkened into a happy trail that I wanted to trace all the way to wherever X marked the spot. I'd never felt like this before, not even when I was fantasizing with my favorite purple latex friend. 

I was burning up from the inside and all rhyme and reason had been tossed into jail to hang out for a bit while I crossed GO and took the game to a whole new level. His tongue playfully stroked across my collarbone as his hands moved down over the front of my body, cupping my breasts through my tee shirt until I arched into his hands. I heard myself whimper and felt his resulting groan vibrate against my skin as he kissed between them, leaving the damp imprint of his mouth.

"God I've missed you, Allison." He moved down my body, pressing one kiss at a time before he started to ease my tee shirt up inch by inch. The feel of his warm, calloused fingers brushing against my skin was driving me mad, a tantalizing difference in texture that made me thankful that we'd waited. Five years had taught the boy something about finesse. I reminded myself to ask him later if he had been reading my old Harlequin novels again.

"I wanted to call you the moment I left town. It didn't hit me till I woke up and didn't have you curled beside me in those ridiculous sweatpants you insisted on wearing when you slept over."

I grinned as he looked up at me, my hand tracing over the side of his jaw as he brought up the outfit I had dubbed my 'modern chastity belt'." It had worked because he had always stopped when I told him to, but now I wondered why the hell I had ever wanted him to.

"I think I may still have those somewhere."

"If they touch your skin tonight they're going into some homeless guy's fire can," he growled, silencing my laughter with a rough kiss that stole the breath right out of my lungs, my body dripping with a need that had been on hold for five years. I moaned into his mouth, dragging his hands back up to my breasts so he could cover them with his bare hands, making my body tighten.

His lips trailed to my ear again, caressing the curve with sensual flicks of his tongue that made my mind go out to lunch. I felt his body stir to life, pressing firm against me through the abrasive fabric of his jeans. I wanted him out of them and I wanted it now. If there was ever a time for him to use the ghostly poof trick, it was at this moment, but he denied me, smiling as he teased. 

I gasped as his fingers grazed the rigid tips of my breasts, stroking with slow, deliberate touches around the mounds of my breasts. He was driving me crazy and he knew it. I slid my fingers into his hair, holding him in place as his lips found one peaked nipple and latched on, using his teeth to mold and suck me as spasms of pleasure shot through my body.

"Oh my God... This is what I've been missing? Why the hell didn't you tell me before?"

"Because you'd never shut up."

"Well shut me up now!"

His grin widened, slow and sexy and so familiar I felt my heart ache. 

He sat back for a moment, sitting me up so he could pull the tee shirt over my head, letting it slide to the floor in a forgotten pile of faded cotton. His breath caught when I sat there, nothing between us except his jeans. He stared like a deer caught in headlights and I felt myself smiling. I mentally gave myself a hive five that I still had the ability to silence him and then dragged him back down over me.

"God you're beautiful, Ally."

"Save the pillow talk, lover boy. I need you in me. It aches so bad, Garrett."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Show me where. Show me how you want me to touch you, Ally."

"I thought this was your show."

He grinned as he sat back. "It is my show. I waited five years for this, baby. I want you begging. I want you so wet that you're screaming with it so when I take you, you'll explode around my cock. I am going to love and fuck you until you can't take anymore. I want to feel you clamping down, sucking me in deeper, urging me harder, faster till I explode and you milk me dry..."

Well damn.

I felt my eyes widen, my body flaring into a full body blush. He chuckled, pleased with himself in that purely masculine way that should be irritating but is just so sexy you let it go till you can think straight again "Show me how you want to be touched, Allison. Spread your legs for me, baby. I want to watch."

I didn't protest. I felt embarrassed as hell, but I wasn't a stranger to my own body and it was what he wanted. No. It was what I wanted. I wanted to give him this pleasure before sanity returned and I realized what a mistake I was making. I wanted to please him. You want to love him.

I told that annoying little voice to go fuck itself and then slowly let my hand slide down my belly, keeping my gaze locked with his. I saw his eyes darken with arousal as I bent my knees and spread my legs apart so he could watch as my fingers circled my belly button and then moved between my thighs. 

I could feel the heat emanating from my pussy and I had to bite back the urge to let go right there with those hot, intent eyes focused on my hand as I slid my fingers through my slit, groaning with the slickness I found. I dipped the tip of one finger into me, smiling when his breath caught. I dipped it deeper, feeling the greedy walls of my wanton pussy sucking it in till I cried out. 

I should have felt exposed and vulnerable, but instead I felt sexier and more powerful than I ever had. He wanted me. I could see it in his eyes, in the way his throat worked as I drew my finger out and dragged it across my lips. He growled as I sucked it clean and then circled my clit, my body arching.

"I can't believe I walked away from this."

"I can't believe you still have your pants on!"

"I'm trying to keep control here."

"You're going to miss me then because my control's almost gone," I heard the breathiness in my voice and knew he heard it too. I was struggling to keep my eyes open and on his face as I strummed my little nub the way I liked it, using my other hand to pump three fingers into me fast and hard. I could feel my inner walls beginning to tense, the pressure building, signaling that the fireworks were going to begin.

I cried out as he suddenly pulled my hand away, replacing it with his mouth. He blew cool air over my wet skin till I shivered and then breathed warm air for a contrast. I gasped as he swore and then dove in, devouring my pussy lips the way he had taken my mouth; hot and demanding, licking into me to suck me into his mouth, his hands firmly holding my thighs down so I couldn't move even if I'd wanted to.

He curled his tongue around my clit and sucked, his finger pushing into me to the knuckle. There was a brief moment of pain and then only pleasure as he curved his finger upwards till he touched something so good I screamed out.

He growled into my flesh, urging my orgasm in a shining wave that rushed over me like the sea at the shore, knocking the wind right out of me as my nails sunk into his shoulders.

I heard someone screaming and realized it was me when I collapsed, my throat sore and my body still strumming with pleasure. I closed my eyes, trying to remember how to breathe. I felt Garrett shift, moving to lay over me, the feel of his warm thick cock against my leg telling me he had fought the good fight but now it was time to put up or shut up.

"I need you, Ally. God, I need you."

"Then take me. I'm all yours."

He smiled and leaned down to kiss me, another damp, bone-melting kiss. I tightened my legs around him, feeling him so hard and so ready. It was all going to be all right. We were together now and nothing could take that away...

"Oh my God!"

Garrett and I jumped apart, him hitting the floor as the lights came on. I grabbed for my tee shirt as Miranda just stood there, her eyes wide as saucers. She looked from me to Garrett and repeated her first sentiment, before she shook her head. 

"I'm not seeing this. I'm so not seeing this. Not tonight and definitely not tomorrow morning. All I am going to see is the inside of my eyelids and when I wake up, I will not see this."

She walked out of the room and I felt the deceptive illusion of the past hour shatter. 

Jesus Christ. What was I doing?

I sat up and shoved Garrett's clothes at him, then pushed him away from me as I clutched my tee shirt over my body, my feeling of empowermentne with Scarlett and Rhett in the wind. "You really need to go."

"Allison, please. Lets talk about this."

"No, no talking, no nothing. We've done enough for tonight."

"Allison.."

No," I repeated more firmly. I sounded in control, not like I was fighting back tears. Go me.

"I am going to bed. Alone. I expect to wake up alone. You can stay here tonight if you want to but don't let Miranda see you. Tomorrow I will talk to Cassandra and figure this thing out."

"We already figured it out."

"No, we just complicated things and I don't need that. Not tonight. Not ever. Now just stay."

He started to protest but I fled to my room and locked the door. I jumped into my bed and pulled the covers half over my head, watching the door. I half expected him to follow me. For the first time in our relationship, he had actually obeyed. I smiled then started to sob.

Apparently it was a night of firsts. 



Love's a Bitch, then We all Die Ch. 02



Disclaimer:

This is a work of pure fiction. In tribute to Halloween, I have very loosely based the premise of this story on the cancelled Showtime TV show, DEAD LIKE ME, whose premise I always found witty and a quirky look at life after death. The characters in this story as well as the writing are all my own creation, however the basic ideas were adapted from the show and I wanted to give credit where credit is due.

I hope you enjoy it. Those who know my writing know its not wham bam sex so if you're looking for that kind of story, please kindly pass this one by. Those who choose to read it, please take a moment to comment and vote. Sorry it took so long to post but schools been crazy. Good luck to everyone in the contest. Thanks all.

* * * * *

All around me, empty soda cans and crumpled potato chip wrappers littered the floor. The blinds were down, engulfing the room in a stale darkness that smelled faintly like a cross between Cheese-Whiz and the next door neighbor's weekly pot party. I was sitting in the middle of the couch, wrapped in a fleece blanket like a queen surveying her lands. Considering the fact that I didn't smell much better than the room, it was a sad kingdom. Miranda had barely spoken to me since the night she had walked in on Garrett and me, preferring to spend time with her new flavor of the month and leaving me alone to stew. I couldn't blame her. I was a miserable bitch.

It had been four days since I had seen Garrett. I didn't know where he was, or if he had crossed over. I had asked Miranda but she'd said she hadn't seen him. She'd seemed satisfied to put it all behind her, but I couldn't stop wondering if he was all right. 

I'd called the diner I worked at and told them I had come down with the flu till further notice. I was probably fired, but it wasn't like there weren't another hundred dead-end jobs in NYC and I had the rest of my life, excuse me, my afterlife, to figure out one that would keep at least one bag of Doritos on my table.

I reached over for the box of Mallomars on the coffee table, taking out one of the slightly melted cookies and biting into it. The chocolate smeared over my fingers, a comfort food secret passed down among women through the ages. I popped it into my mouth, trying to concentrate on the cavities I was probably developing instead of worrying about Garrett. He had been in every one of my thoughts for the last 96 hours and I was sick of it. 

I sighed as I munched another cookie and then held my fingers out to my cat, Chole, so she could lick off the chocolate. She purred and I was glad someone was happy. 

My gaze moved to the coffee table and the shoebox sitting on it. I had dragged it out of my closet last night and left it there. I didn't have to look inside to know what was in there, but I got up anyway, settling on the floor with the box between my legs. I tucked a stray strand of hair back behind my ear before I pulled off the lid and set it to the side. The scent of old rose petals wafted up to me in a ghostly whisper as I sifted through the contents.

I inhaled slowly as I pulled out my wedding bouquet. I had stolen it from my mother's house a few weeks after I had become a reaper. There had been hell to pay for that one, but I'd needed it to reassure myself of everything that had happened. Some people needed to see their headstone. I had needed to see the bouquet because it represented so much more of my life and the mistakes that had gotten me to this point, making me who I was. 

I set it down gently and then pulled out the picture frame from the bottom of the box. It was plain black wood with the black and white picture in it. The quality was grainy, but the two people in it were laughing, their smiles happy, without a care in the world.

I barely recognized that girl anymore. She didn't fit into this world of mine where death was an everyday reality and taking souls had become a quota game, each one bringing me one step closer to the unknown number that would free me from this afterlife and send me into the next unknown. It was a hard way to live life and I wondered if any of it really mattered in the end.

I frowned, tossing the photograph back into the box, ignoring the photo-strip of Garrett and I, the day he had proposed, smiling and goofing for the camera as if in a year, our life together wouldn't be over.

I flipped the photos the bird and then reached for my wineglass, taking a sip of the cheap vodka which was the only alcohol I had had on hand. 

Life wasn't supposed to end like this. There had to be more to it, but hell if I knew what it was.

I groaned when the doorbell rang. "Go away."

It rang again and again, insistent in its trill. If it was someone handing out campaign posters, they were going to find their names spelled out in plastic on my refrigerator. I shivered as my bare feet touched the cold floorboards, shuffling down the hallway to the door with my wineglass in hand. "Can't the dead rest in peace?"

"You're the undead darling. Now open the door."

I sighed as I heard Sebastian's voice through the door. I hesitated, pressing my forehead against the cool wood before I opened it and offered a deadpan look to him and Adam. Sebastian's nose wrinkled, one hand going to his throat as he tsked his tongue. "You look terrible. Are those Sponge Bob pajama pants? Good God you so need our help."

"I am fine. Now go away."

"Not on your life. Miranda said that you haven't left this apartment in days. It's time for you to get into the shower so we can burn those pajamas and try to get a food into you that won't block every one of your arteries.."

I leaned up and snapped my teeth together by his nose, then looked at Adam who offered me a sympathetic smile. "I can't believe you put up with this everyday."

"He makes me laugh."

I hid a smile, grumbling as Sebastian ushered me into the shower while Adam went to clean up the apartment. Twenty minutes later I was showered and smelling like freesia and peaches. As reluctant as I was to admit it, I felt better and pinched Sebastian's ass in thank you before I padded down to the kitchen.

I barely recognized it. Adam had thrown away all of the empty wrappers and cans and the pile of dirty dishes in the sink were neatly drying in the dish rack. It smelled warm and homey, like pasta sauce and basil. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until my stomach rumbled in greeting. I'd always been a sucker for Adam's cooking. Adam smiled as I came into the kitchen and gestured for me to sit down. I sank into the chair, pulling my hair back into a damp ponytail as he set an apple martini down in front of me. 

"God bless you."

He winked and dropped a kiss onto the top of my head. "You look more like yourself again."

"Well looking is better than nothing I guess."

"That bad huh?"

"Missing out on a one-day sale is bad, Adam. This is more along the lines of wanting to fall into a black hole somewhere."

"You'll feel better after dinner. I am making lasagna so you and Miranda can have leftovers for tomorrow."

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

His dimpled flickered as he grinned, patting my arm. "Not today but it's always nice to know I am a wanted man."

"If I could clone you, I could make millions."

He chuckled and I took a sip of my fruity drink, loving him even more as the cool, sweet liquid went down my throat. This was the life; cared for by two beautiful, successful and sensitive men. Of course there would never be marriage and there would probably never be sex. But by god there would be lasagna and fruity drinks and in today's world, what else could a girl really want? A ghostly ex- fiancé who was gorgeous and confident but possessed the emotional maturity of a five year old? I'd take my chances with the martini.

"All right, Allison. We have washed you and plan to feed you, so it's time to spill the beans. Who was that gorgeous man and why did we find you in those horrible pajamas instead of wrapped in a passionate embrace?"

"Most people would tell you that's none of your business, Sebastian."

"Oh please. The only ones that never want to share the details are the ones who aren't having sex or virgins who've never had sex."

I felt my cheeks burn as I took another sip of my martini. It was a long sip. I saw Sebastian and Adam exchange looks before Sebastian put one hand over his mouth. "You're not serious."

"Stuff it, Bastian."

"But this is just so...unheard of. You're a virgin?"

"Can we please not have this conversation."

"Oh no, darling, we must have this conversation. How could you have been engaged to that man and no have torn off his clothes the moment you were alone? I can't be around Adam for more than five minutes when we're alone before I want to slide my tongue all over his..."

"HELLO!" I interrupted. "So not appropriate, Bastian. As much as I enjoy the fantasies of myself with two beautiful men, we are not going to go into the details of your sex life. Capice?"

"Pooh. You're no fun." He sighed dramatically before he took a sip of my martini. "All right. So tell us why you haven't slept with him."

"Do I have to?"

"If you want us to go home you do."

"Is it possible to negotiate your release and keep Adam in captivity?" I heard Adam snicker, but Sebastian looked less than willing. I sighed, stealing my martini glass back. "It's a complicated situation."

"I'm an undead gay man, Allison. Complicated is a permanent part of my vocabulary."

"We're just trying to help, Ally," Adam said quietly, removing his oven mitts as he settled into a chair beside Sebastian. He offered a gentle smile then settled comfortably into his chair with his own drink. 

"I know. I just..." I paused, sighing. "Before Garrett, I was engaged once while I was in college. His name was Eric and he was handsome, popular and came from old money and a good family name. He was the first guy that I was ever really serious about. We were together for about 8 months and he started pressuring me for sex. I didn't want to rush into but I finally decided one night that it was the right moment. So I went over to his place. When I walked in, he was in bed with my roommate." I paused, shrugging, avoiding the looks of sympathy on both male faces. "I was hurt for a long time. When I met Garrett, it was almost the same situation; gorgeous, intelligent, funny...I didn't think I was good enough so I guess I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop." I shrugged, my finger playing around the edge of my glass. "I was planning for our wedding night to be something special, but you see how that turned out."

"Well you know how the saying goes, Allison. If at first you don't succeed..."

I held up both hands for time out. "There will be no trying again, Bastian. He lied to me."

"About what?"

"He was working undercover for the DEA when we met and he never told me until the other night when we were...well he should have told me while I still had an actual pulse. I thought he sold fucking insurance for Christs's sake! He freaked out on the day of the wedding and left. Its all his fault. If he had just talked to me, I wouldn't have been killed by a fucking cork, he wouldn't have transferred departments and been killed by a junkie and we'd be fine. Instead he's dead, I'm undead and the whole situation is screwed six ways from Sunday!"

Adam and Sebastian exchanged looks again. 

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, I want to know what that look was about. You think I'm crazy don't you."

"Not crazy. Just a bit high-strung. I think you need another martini."

My eyes narrowed and Adam's hand gently covered mine before I could lunge a Sebastian. "Have you considered that maybe he was trying to protect you?"

"Oh don't tell me that you're taking his side, Adam. I'm beginning to rethink that whole clone idea."

"Allison, I think you're making this more complicated than it has to be."

"He lied to me, Adam! He took away my choice by not telling me what was going on."

"And that was wrong. I'm not denying that he was a moron, but he's a man. Frankly, we make mistakes all the time because we don't always think the same way that women do. Battle of the sexes and all that nonsense. But what I do know, is that men are basically simple creatures with one base need before anything else."

"Wild and kinky sex?"

He ignored me. "Love. We want to love the person we decide is worth it and we want to protect them at love at all costs by protecting them the best way we know how. He screwed up. No one is denying that, but he did it because he loved you. Considering that he has been hanging out at Starbucks with Cassandra every morning for the last 4 days, I'd say he still loves you."

My head shot up and Adam had to make a dive for my martini glass as I jumped, almost knocking it off the table. "He's still here?"

"Didn't you know? He's been hanging out with us every day, trying to find out how you are and how he can make things right."

"Oh my god. Cassandra must be pissed."

Sebastian snickered and let my head drip into my hands. Adam patted my back. "Actually he has her pretty much eating out of his hand. She likes him."

"Cassandra doesn't like anyone."

"I know. It's disturbing on so many levels."

I chuckled then sighed. Sebastian reached for my hand with one of his, taking Adam's with the other. "Look darling, it's very simple. All couples argue. Adam and I regularly send one another to hell but if he ever walked out of that door for good I would die a second time. Love is like that; a pain in the ass because you have to work at it and sometimes you have to swallow your pride to make it work."

"He's dead, Bastian."

He snorted as if that was just a small detail. "Darling we're all dead. It's quite in vogue now."

I felt my lips quirk, trying to fight the laughter that threatened to escape because I knew once I let go, there was nothing to stop it from turning into a sob. I exhaled, looking down. I could feel my jaw tensing. I was uncomfortable with this whole conversation because I knew it would eventually lead to this point. There was one underlying issue that prevented the happily ever after for me.

"If I sleep with him," I said softly, "his business here is finished. He crosses over and I lose him all over again."

I could feel their sympathy and I wanted to tell them to stop it, but instead I closed my eyes when Adam pulled me out of my chair and wrapped his arms around me. His shirt was scratchy against my cheek as he settled my head against his chest, stroking his hand over my hair. I held onto him tightly. My pulse was in my throat, threatening to choke me. My chest was so tight I could barely breathe.

I didn't say anything as Sebastian came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me from behind so he was holding onto both me and Adam at the same time. That tight feeling climbed up my throat and spilled out of my eyes. I started to cry and I couldn't stop it. I hated it; hated that the whole death will set you free thing was just a crock. It didn't stop the pain, didn't make losing everything any easier the second time around. It just got you soggy.

When the crying slowed and I could breathe without hiccupping, Sebastian leaned over my shoulder, handing me a tissue. I blew into it loudly, wiping at my face. 

"I hate this."

"We know, but do you really want to sentence him to being an earthbound spirit for the rest of time?"

I sighed. I knew they were right. I hated that they were right. Love was about sacrifice. Garrett had sacrificed the light to stay close to me. The least I could do was to give him that chance back. It didn't mean I had to like it. I didn't have to like it at all. 

* * * * *

Sunlight danced in a kaleidoscope of color along the stained glass windows lining the church, giving it an ethereal quality as if it was caught somewhere between this world and the next. Soft organ music played, the pews lined with flowers and filled with people here to wish life and happiness on this new journey.

I inhaled and held it for a long hard moment. My heart was pounding, drowning out the organist. All I could focus on was the clamminess of my palms as I wiped them discreetly against my dress before Sebastian could catch me and scream about how sweat was the death of silk. I was less concerned about the dress than I was in making it down that aisle. I had never walked it on my wedding day and today it seemed even longer than it had the day I had peeked through those wide, ornate doors and seen everyone but the man who was supposed to pledge his undying love for me.

At least you got the undying part.

I sighed, letting my breath out in a whoosh. I could do this. All I had to do was put one foot in front of the other and I would be all right. This was a big day. I had to just jump in because I couldn't spend the rest of my life - however odd a word for it that might be - sitting out on the sidelines. I'd been given a second chance and it was time that I finally took it.

I saw people turn as I stepped into the aisle. I smiled and took another step down and then another and another and then slid into the empty pew.

You were expecting something else? Hey I had my chance. A champagne cork blew it for me.

"See that wasn't so hard."

"I feel like I'm going to throw up. I haven't been inside a church since...well you know."

Sebastian patted my hand sympathetically, Miranda leaning over him on the other side so she could hand me a peppermint. I slid the candy under my tongue, sucking on it hard, reminded of the days my mother had taken me to church as a little girl. Back then I still associated church with God and Heaven. Now all I could think was that Cassandra was a sadist.

I glared at her and she smiled from the pew directly across from ours. As the wedding party started to drift down the aisle, I thought about how nice it would be if it were her name on that Post-it. It made me smile, which made her expression waver. I grinned and then turned my attention to the door as the wedding march began and the bride appeared in the doorway.

She was a vision in white, floating down the aisle on her father's arm. Her veil obscured her features, but I knew she was smiling as she looked at the man waiting for her at the end of that long walk, because I would have smiled. If things had been different, it would have been me taking those steps, committing myself with every one to love and cherish the man I loved for as long as I lived, till death made us part.

Of course I hadn't expected death to part us so soon and I doubted she did either. But those were the breaks. I didn't understand why death worked the way it did. I was just a messenger.

My hand brushed over her arm as she walked down the aisle. Miranda had already taken care of the groom earlier, so we just sat back and enjoyed the wedding, my mind playing tricks on me as I floated back and forth between reality and my memories.

I blinked when Sebastian touched my arm. I glanced down at my wristwatch. It was ten minutes to 11:00 am. I nodded to him and then looked over at the altar as M. Houston and A. Kendall finished their vows. They were smiling and happy and it was so unfair. 

" If there is anyone here who has any reason why these two shouldn't wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

"Yeah, I object."

Everyone turned to look at the man standing in the middle of the aisle, wearing blue jeans and a leather jacket. His hair was long and unkempt, his face scruffy with days worth of stubble, all in all, he screamed trouble.. A sign around his neck that said 'wedding crasher' might have been more discreet. "

You broke my heart, Amy. You were supposed to marry me."

"It's been over for years, Josh! Get over it. I'm a married woman now."

"It's not over for me. It never was. It never will be! You belong with me!"




Love's a Bitch, then We all Die Ch. 02



In moment like these, people like to say that they feel like life slows down to allow them to notice everything in excruciating detail. I've always felt life speeds up, flashing your entire life before your eyes so you can see just how many mistakes you made and give you enough time to eloquently wish the world would fuck itself, before you know nothing else.

"Someone grab that man!"

Security started running, but it was too late. He had come with an agenda and in my experience, the crazy are more successful than the determined in getting what they want. I watched as Matthew Houston tried to jump in the way, yelling for A.Kendall to get down as J. Korcheck pulled out a gun. People were screaming even before the shots tore through M. Houston, throwing him back with force onto Amy's body. They went down together, the sickening crack of Amy's neck snapping as it hit the marble edge of the altar, lost in the chaos erupting in the church.

Her flowers fell out of her hand, sunlight glinting off of the shiny gold band on her left hand.

Maybe it was the band that did it. Maybe it was realizing that he'd finally lost the girl of his dreams. Or maybe it was the armed security running towards him with guns that made Josh realize that this wasn't going to have a happy ending. Whatever his reasons, his gun went off again and I made a face as the body dropped in front of our pew. 

I looked at Sebastian as guards came running to check his pulse. "This is your mess. I'll see you later. Come on Miranda."

We slipped out of the pew, careful not to step into the widening pool of blood. We watched as Amy and Matthew rose from their bodies, looking around at the mess. It should have been the saddest day of their lives, but when they saw one another they both laughed, grabbing each other and holding on so tight that I couldn't tell where one of them left off and the other began. 

"They look happy."

Miranda sounded surprised. I guess most people would have been. There was carnage everywhere and three people's lives had been abruptly snuffed out. But I understood why they were able to smile at us as they walked away from their old lives without a care in the world, holding each other's hand securely as we led them out of the church. They were together. They had kept their vows, defying death's attempts to keep them apart. 

I nodded. "Yeah, they're happy. It's as it should be. Sometimes, love is all you need."

"You sound like a convert."

I stiffened, turning slowly. When I saw Garrett, the tightness in my chest increased. I felt like I was being smothered beneath bricks of emotion. I didn't know what to feel as he stood there, familiar in his blue jeans and jacket, his eyes filled with the two things I hadn't expected to see in his eyes after the way I'd treated him; forgiveness and love.

My throat clenched as Miranda gently touched my shoulder. "I'll take care of the Houstons. They have their happy ending. You take care of yours."

I inhaled when she walked away, Garrett silently holding out his hand. I looked down at it then paused. My eyes narrowed as I noticed the pale gleam of gold on his left hand. I hadn't noticed it before but when he caught me looking, he reached for me. "I put it on the day of your funeral," he said quietly. "I never took it off. "

There was so much to say and for the first time in my life I couldn't find any words. I should have been happy. Hell, I should have been bouncing off the walls for joy. I had a guy who had tried to protect me and lost everything for it, a guy who still loved and wanted me after I had been an inexcusable asshole. He was wearing his wedding band - our wedding band and still I wanted to cry.

I was turning into a sap. I sniffed, concentrating on my pink toenails peeking out of my open toed pumps for a moment before I met his eyes. "Garrett, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You were right and I reacted badly because I was bitter and resentful and basically I'm just a miserable bitch and..."

He cut me off with his mouth on mine, smothering any protests that I might have made if my arms weren't wound around his neck holding onto him so tight I might have broken a few ribs if he wasn't dead. I moaned against the warm, wonderful pressure. Then his lips opened, pressing deeper against mine. My body shuddered again and I let my lips part under his urgency. His tongue barely flicked against mine before he abruptly pulled away.

"What's the mater?"

"Not here. Too many people. Damnit. I don't think I can wait till we get back to your place, Al."

I had made him wait for five years. I had waited for this for even longer. There was no way in hell that I was going to go one minute longer than I had to without feeling him hot in my mouth, spilling heat down my throat or deep inside my body when he cried out. 

My mouth went dry at the visuals and I tried to concentrate through the lust fogging my brain. My eyes met his when I got an idea that was depraved enough to make me blush. I bit my lip then grinned as I tugged him with me. 

"Come on. I have an idea."

He followed without question, his trust warming me even more than his passion did. We moved quickly to the back of the church, walking towards the cemetery on the grounds. It was a beautiful place with rolling green hills, the headstones creating an artistic backdrop that was popular with budding photographers in the area. Today it was quiet, with only the sound of the birds to break the silence.

I walked past a row of headstones towards the stone mausoleums where families were buried together, destined to spend eternity together. Personally I had always thought it was a terrible idea; your family drove you crazy in life and even in death you couldn't escape them. When my parents had decided to spend most of their savings on one for our family, I'd thought it was ridiculous. When mine had been the first body to go in there, I'd been pissed. Now I was glad, because it would have been just a tad awkward to get my rocks off with the family "watching."nside it was cool but not musty because of the jasmine incense - my favorite - burning in a holder. Candles were scattered everywhere, casting flickering shadowed on the wall. A small altar set up in one corner for people to pray. There were cobwebs stretching across it which answered my question of exactly how many times anyone had come to pray for my soul. 

I snorted and then turned to Garrett. He arched a dark brow as I grinned. "You've got to be kidding, Ally."

I shook my head as I hoisted myself up onto a stone bench, patting it gently. "Nope. I'm the only one in here. My parents couldn't afford building this and exhuming my grandparents to bring them over from their plots in California. So far I'm the only one in residence."

His grin spread slowly across his face, his eyes darkening with amusement as he moved over to me, kneeling down between my legs. "This is disturbing on so many levels."

"Welcome to my afterlife."

"Our afterlife," he corrected, then nuzzled his head against my lap. My head tipped back with pleasure when I felt the heat of his breath through the material of my dress. His hands gripped my thighs gently pulling me to the edge so my legs dangled over his back and shoulders as he kissed his way slowly down my thigh, pushing up the material at the same time. 

"I thought you couldn't wait."

"I thought women wanted romance."

"The only thing I want is your cock inside of me, pounding me senseless."

"Which is entirely possible on a stone table." 

He grinned and then pulled me up abruptly, lifting me into his arms. I heard him groan as his hands slipped beneath my backside to hold me and he felt only smooth, bare skin. He moaned deep in his chest and then was pushing me up against the wall, his lips against mine. I moaned this time, long and deep as pleasure ripped through me. It had been so long since I'd felt like this. Too damn long.

My hands roamed his body, under his shirt, exploring the warm skin and taut muscles of his back. When he pressed his hips against me, I tossed all of my fantasies out the window because reality was a hundred times better. He was hot, hard and ready and I smiled against his mouth. I'd caused this. He wanted me, me, Allison Blake, reaper and resident pain in the ass. 

The mad rush of desire, the warmth of touching someone, the thrill of knowing that I had this power thrilled me, made me feel all ,'I am woman, here me roar.' I arched my hips against his, rubbing back and forth against his erection, feeling him jerk against me as the stiff material of his jeans gently abraded tender skin, making it more sensitive to every touch.

His groan was torn from him as I reached down between us and helped him undo his belt so we could push his jeans down to his knees. His voice was husky in the dark as he caught my hands and pushed them against the wall, resting against them just enough that I couldn't move them. It had been so long since he'd touched me that I let my eyes close from the sheer pleasure of his hands on mine, his body stiff and ready against me.

I squirmed, trying to speed things up, but his hands closed tighter around my wrists, reminding me that this was his show. "You're driving me crazy."

"That's the point."

"Not that I don't appreciate the attention, Garrett, but maybe a bed might be better for this. Less chance of my ass chafing against the sto..."

I squealed as he cut me off, nipping hard over the front of my dress. My body arched as he yanked the top part of my strapless dress down to reveal my breasts, the stiff material pushing them up in offering to his mouth. His thumb traced a circle around one stiff peak, making my body ache as his mouth traced a damp trail of heat to the hollow of my throat. I sucked in a hard breath as he kissed it then moved lower, his kisses dropping a few inches every time until he licked into the warm place between my breasts. He lingered there and I felt a wave of pleasure sweep through me as he traced the swell of my breast with his tongue, melting me from the inside out.

"You've improved a little since the last time we did this," I said breathily.

Please don't stop.

I felt his mouth smile against my skin and melted into the curve of his arms, strong and sexy as he pinned my hands to the wall. I watched the strong line of his neck, felt his hand on my wrists, the other pressed against my ribs as his tongue swept across my skin, exploring new lands for the first time. 

I ached to touch him, to feel him hot beneath my hands, to pull up his tee shirt and rub my bare breasts against his chest until he felt like he was the one losing control. 

"God let me go! I want to touch you."

He lifted his head to look into my eyes, a smile of wicked, male satisfaction sliding across his handsome face, taking my breath away. "Not a chance," he said, his mouth taking mine and all rational thought with it as his hand curved around my breast, his thumb strumming the nipple till I cried out into his kiss, dizzy with pleasure.

His hair tickled my throat as he bent down again, my body arching into his when all that wet heat covered my breast, sucking into his mouth, making me shudder when he used his tongue and teeth in ways that were probably illegal in most of the fifty states.

"God, Garrett, you need to let me go," I protested, trying to pull my hands from his grip so that I could touch him. He was strong for a dead guy and tightened his hold, crushing my wrists together, stretching my arms higher over my head so that he could keep me where he wanted me, exposed to his lips and tongue. 

His free hand moved down my body, flipping my skirt up as he pressed me more securely into the cool stone of the wall so I wouldn't slip. 

I cried out when his fingers slid into me, thrusting hard and deep into the slickness that welcomed him in with desperate relief. My body shuddered with pleasure when he slid his fingers up, curving them higher to find that spot deep inside that reassured me that there was indeed a Heaven and he was taking me to it every time his fingers stroked hard inside of me.

"God you feel incredible. I can't wait to be inside you. We're going to do this right here and I'm going to take you hard against this wall, so hard you'll remember me for weeks, remembering every time you breathe and your body aches, that you were mine." 

My mouth went dry at his promise, my body turning liquid around his hand. I knew he felt it because he growled deep in his throat, the sound echoing off of the walls. I couldn't think anymore past what was happening, what Garrett was doing to me as he thrust his fingers into me, his mouth sucking me into his mouth, his hand bruising my wrists and reminding me that I was his.

Till death do you part.

I sobered at that thought, but I didn't have time to dwell on the implications of giving him what he had always wanted, because he suddenly moved his hand away and replaced it with his body. I felt the hard brush of his knuckles as he reached down between us and then my breath left me as he guided himself into me, pushing home with a firm thrust of his hips.

I had expected it to hurt, but there was only the feeling of fullness and then unspeakable pleasure as he began to move, pinning me to the wall with every hard thrust that threatened to split my body apart, his thickness moving in an out of that soft, wet heat that never wanted to let him go. 

The visual made me dizzy, my hands clinging to his shoulders after he let go of my wrists to brace one hand against the wall, the other sinking into my hair to guide my mouth to his. He devoured my lips as he thrust into me, trapping me between the wall and his body till I felt my body start to tighten, swelling from the inside like a balloon that was too full, ready to burst.

"Ally," he murmured against my mouth. He said my name again and again till I answered him, our voices echoing together as his thrusts began to get faster and shorter, his eyes never leaving mine as he pushed every nerve ending I had to the edge of sensation, leaving me over-sensitized and vulnerable to the emotions I had avoided for all of these years.

This was why I had never slept with him, why I had always avoided this final intimacy that bared your soul and left you open to the pain that came with falling hard and deep, losing yourself in the eyes of the person who made your heart beat even after it had stopped.

I loved him. God help me, but I loved him. I'd loved him for years and now he was mine even if only for tonight, just for the fantasy.

Garrett thrust into me, crying out my name as his strokes went wild. I felt that coiling pleasure reach the breaking point, screaming his name as I came, looking into his eyes and crying out again and again with each wave ecstasy that flung me into the next, rolling me under over and over again until I submitted to the sensation, collapsing limp in his arms. 

I didn't want to move. Life felt too good about now, as soft around the edges of my vision as Garrett's tee shirt was beneath my cheek. It smelled like him and like me, our scents mingling together just as our bodies had.

I murmured in satisfaction as his hand slid beneath my chin, tilting my head up so his lips could brush gently over mine.

"Wow."

"Head-banging, sweaty, screaming sex in the middle of a cemetery. That's a first." He started laughing when I poked him, resting his forehead against mine as he tried to catch his breath. 

"Now you were saying something about a bed?"

* * * * *

I murmured in satisfaction, snuggling closer to the warm, firm body next to me. I grinned as I teased Garrett's flat nipples with the pad of my finger, watching when they stiffened and his body jerked in response. 

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"What? You're tired already? It's only been..." I paused to count on my fingers. "Four times. Well, five including the cemetery. I'd say you have at least another two more in you before your dick falls off."

I shrieked with laughter as he shifted, rolling me underneath him to hold me. His body aligned over mine though he kept himself braced on his arms, his fingers moving gently through my hair. "There's nothing wrong with my dick, thank you very much. I was trying to be considerate since this is all new for you."

My brow arched. "And not for you obviously." My voice came out grumpier than I wanted it to and he smiled as he leaned down, taking my mouth gently but thoroughly enough to leave me fresh out of comments.

"No one else matters, Ally. It's all new for me because it's with you. There wasn't anyone after you and there never will be. You're it for me."

My expression softened as I reached up to touch his jaw. He turned his head, lips brushing the inside of my wrist to make me shiver. I drew him down to lay with me, his head resting between my breasts, the stubble on his cheeks a gentle rasp that had left whisker burns all over my body.

He was content and, for awhile, I was as well. Now all I could think about was what he had said. There would be no one else for him after me. After tonight, he was going to leave and I would never see him again or know where he had gone. I was going to lose him just when I had finally found him.

I exhaled hard and closed my eyes. I felt him shift, his thumb brushing over the line of my jaw with concern. "Hey, what's the matter?"

"Nothing. I don't want to talk about it. This is nice. Let's just enjoy this."

"Come on, Al. Talk to me. What's going on?"

I swallowed, sighing when his hand stroked through my hair. I opened my eyes, meeting the concern in his. Moonlight streamed in through the open window and played across his features, his loose hair framing his face and making him look even less like he belonged in my world anymore.

He was so beautiful it made my heart ache and I was really planning to take up the whole, 'is a heart really necessary when you're dead' issue to management.

"Garrett, why didn't you go into the light?"

"I told you. I wanted to be with you. I needed to make sure that you were all right and to explain what had happened."

I nodded. "And you did. You set things right between us. I don't hate you anymore and though I still wish you'd told me the truth, I understand why you didn't. Everything is the way that it's supposed to be...'

I let my voice trail off, watching as understanding dawned across his features. His jaw tensed as I smiled, trying as hard as I could to keep sadness out of it. I knew I didn't succeed, but playing stupid had always worked well before.

"I'm not going anywhere, Allison. I want to be with you."

"It's not a choice that we can make, Garrett. Cassandra was very clear about the rules. Ghosts can only stay earthbound until they complete their unfinished business. Then they have to go on."

"You knew this would happen?"

I nodded.

"Then why did you sleep with me, Ally? Why didn't you just tell me? We could have just...I don't know. We could have figured out something. Goddamnit."

He sat up and I let him have a moment before I wrapped my arms around him, my cheek resting against his shoulder, feeling tension vibrate through him. "I did it for the same reasons you left. I want what's best for you. Staying here isn't."

"I'd be with you."

"Yeah, but you couldn't ever really be with me. You're dead, Garrett. It's fucking unfair, but it's what it is. If you stayed here, you'd only ever be able to touch me, to experience life as a voyeur instead of as a person. I know you," I murmured against his skin. "That kind of lifestyle would kill you a second time, breaking your heart more a little everyday. I can't be responsible for that. It's just too much."

"So we only have tonight?"

"I think so. I don't know how this works. I was expecting you to poof, but maybe it's a whole Cinderella type of deal - you get a certain amount of time and then its over. Your guess is as good as mine."




Love's a Bitch, then We all Die Ch. 02



He sighed. "I love you, you know."

"I know. I love you too. There's no one else I would rather fight with."

His lips curved into a grin as he pulled me into his arms then slowly laid me back, wedging his leg between mine so our bodies pressed tightly together. His hand stroked through my hair, trailing gently down the side of my face and then down my neck and over the curve of my shoulder, memorizing every line of my body.

We'd been frantic before. We were both gentler now, content to just touch and make up for five years of time. I let my lips slide apart when his mouth brushed along mine, the tip of his tongue tracing every line and contour till I breathed a sigh of pleasure into his mouth, giving him permission to deepen the kiss.

He wrapped me in his arms and held me tightly against him, cradling my head like I was something rare and precious to be treasured. Every inch of my body was something he explored with his lips and hands, going slowly as if we had all the time in the world and not just one night. 

Emotion was riding me harder than it had when Garrett had me on my knees earlier in the night. For once I didn't fight the slow slip of tears that dampened my cheeks He kissed them away where they fell, a damp cleansing trail left behind. 

I'd always thought that loving someone as much as you humanly could, would make you weak. I had railed against giving myself over completely to Garrett, mind, body and soul, because I hadn't wanted to give him the power to hurt me. Now I realized that the only person I had hurt was myself by making myself only half of a person. Garrett completed me and even if I lost him tomorrow, he still would.

His lips brushed over my breasts, tracing the contours, lifting them to feel their weight in his hands. When I arched beneath him, he moved back up, the head of his cock brushing the silky curls between my legs. The knot of emotion in my throat loosened as I gave over to pleasure, his lips brushing the shell of my ear, murmuring all the things that I had ever considered corny and implausible in romantic films. He told me that he needed me and would always be with me. Instead of rolling my eyes, I believed him, putting that promise into my heart and keeping it there. 

His hands slid down my body to my hips to move me beneath him, dragging my leg higher onto his hip as he slid into me. He pushed deep but then stayed still, allowing me time to adjust around him as his hand gently pushed my hair out of my eyes so I could look at him. 

He shifted his weight so that his body rubbed against mine as he slowly moved. He thrust gently, maintaining that same unhurried pace. My head tipped back as I hummed with pleasure. I felt him buried deeper inside of me than I ever imagined and started to tighten around him, trying to draw him deeper and keep him as close to me as I possibly could.

This time I didn't rush him, allowing him to keep up his slow, torturous pace for what seemed like an eternity. Whenever either of us built up too quickly, teetering on that shining edge, he slowed us down, keeping our breath elevated and attention on one another.

His hands cradled my face and mine rested over his as he moved, looking into one another's eyes the entire time. I saw the subtle gleam of tears in his eyes as well and I murmured his name, letting him know I was there, as swept away as he was in this emotional moment 

His voice cracked as he spoke, husky with the tears he wouldn't let fall. "I love you so much, Allison. Whatever happens you know that. Swear to me you'll remember that."

"I swear."

He smiled and then thrust once more and we both went over the edge together, our fingers lacing together against my skin. When we both drifted back to earth, he leaned down to kiss me. I could still feel his body deep within mine, maintaining the connection we both knew would be lost the minute we pulled apart. 

His kiss was slow, so gentle with the emotion that only those who have lost everything can understand. When the kiss finally ended, his body had calmed and his softened cock slipped out of me. He rolled us to our sides, tucking me into the front of his body, holding me from behind. I felt his lips brush my shoulder and returned it with a kiss to his hand.

"Remember your promise, Al."

"I won't forget, Garrett. Remember, you're the one I love to fight with the most."

* * * * *

When I woke up, he was gone. There was no trace of him left, no sign in the cool sheets that he had ever been there beside me, holding me until I fell asleep with his hand held tight in mine. 

I fought the tightness in my chest, closing my eyes for a moment. I couldn't feel him, but I knew that he was here somewhere. He had promised and sometimes you just had to go with faith and not the reality.

I wiped one hand across my face and then reached for the drawer in my nightstand and pulled out the slender gold ring that I had never worn. I turned it between my fingers slowly then slid it on. It fit perfectly.

"Allison, Cassandra just called." Miranda yelled from the other side of the door. "We have to meet her at the coffeehouse in fifteen minutes so get up and get dressed."

I considered laying there. I wondered what Cassandra would do if I didn't show. It was tempting to find out but then I slid out of bed and then moved to the bathroom to shower and change. Life didn't stop just because you wished it would.

*****

"Well it's about time you two finally got here. I was beginning to wonder if I had said 7::30 and not 8:00am."

"Sorry Cassandra. I had a long night - some unfinished business I had to take care of."

She frowned as Sebastian grinned at me. I grinned back, surprised that the words didn't hurt as much as I thought they would. I rubbed my thumb over the ring on my left hand, feeling calmer with its weight in place.

"Well hopefully you'll remember next time that work related business comes before personal business."

"Of course, Cassandra."

I gave her my best little girl in the world smile and her frown deepened, but she cleared her throat and opened her planner to start handing out Post-its. I reached for mine, glancing at the E.T.D. and location before I glanced at my watch. I hated it when she gave me pick-ups during rush-hour. Assholes who believed that sprinting down the street with a coffee cup in hand was a sport, had ruined my good coat.

"All right. As you can all see, Chelsea is no longer with us. She's been transferred to a different unit. Something about not being able to deal with blood."

She frowned as we all snickered, banging her planner against the edge of the table for attention. "At any rate, we will forge ahead. We have a job to do and I would like to introduce you to the newest member of our team." She beamed as footsteps approached. I looked up as I tried to tuck my Post-it into my pocket.

"This is Garrett. He'll be working with us from now on."

The Post-it slipped from my fingers."What are you doing here?!"

Amusement flickered through his eyes as he stood there with his hands in his pockets, relaxed as if this wasn't the shock of a lifetime-well of a second lifetime.

"I think Cassandra just explained that. You might want to pay attention from now on, Ally," he chided. "Mind if I move in boys?"

Sebastian grinned, moving without comment for the first time since I'd met him five years ago. He settled on Miranda's other side, allowing Garrett to sit beside me. His body was warm and firm, solid on the bench as he leaned back, casually placing his arm behind my head. 

I just stared as Cassandra went on. "Garrett here was re-assigned by management so he's one of us. I'm going to have him ride along with one of you for his first few pick-ups so he gets an idea of how things are done here. All right?" She beamed when no one said anything and then slid out of the booth. 

I wanted to kill her when she laid her hand over Garrett's, welcoming him to the team with more warmth than she had ever shown to me. Garrett touched my leg beneath the table and I exhaled. His thumb stroked gently over my fingers and I felt him pause when he felt the smoothness of the ring.

When Cassandra finally walked away, he lifted my hand to put it on the table where he could see it. The gold gleamed richly on my finger and he smiled as he laid his hand beside it, the matching ring on his hand.

"I told you I never take it off."

"But I don't understand. How are you here? I thought you had to cross over. Management doesn't bend the rules."

"Well, I guess they liked what I had to say."

My eyes narrowed suspiciously at him as Sebastian and Adam started talking about churches and weddings. Miranda informed me that if we woke her in the middle of the night with head-banging sex, she was taking my name off the lease. I held up both hands for a cease fire, trying to focus on one thing at a time. 

"What did you say, Garrett?"

His expression softened as he laced my fingers in his, his other hand moving into my hair to brace me as he leaned down, his lips hovering over mine. I felt the warmth of his breath across my mouth, promising me everything that I had ever wanted.

"I told him you were the person I loved to fight with the most."

I grinned as he pulled me closer, kissing me so hard and so deep it took my breath away. I climbed onto his lap, laughing as his hands moved over my hips to hold me and Miranda told us to get a room. I had officially crossed over in the realms of the blissfully happy and in love, which also meant I was a full-fledged member of the moronic behaviors club in her book, but I'd never been so happy to be "one of the sheep." 

I brushed my mouth over his, letting my hands slide down over his chest and down low enough to make his eyes darken with interest. "I have a pick-up in twenty minutes at the church cemetery. Want to come along? I've heard that it's a great place to have head-banging, sweaty, screaming sex..."

Thanks for taking the time to read this submission. Please keep in mind it takes two seconds to vote and only a few more to leave a comment. It's the only way we writers know what you think of our writing. Thanks and once again good luck to all.-J