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Long Distance is a Bitch Ch. 01

By: shiprat



Note - This is my 2nd attempt at writing a story. I hope it pleases most of you. Fair note - it has infidelity, so if that angers you, like some of the comments on my last story, stop here, and go somewhere else. I thought that fiction is, by definition, understood to not be real. But the rage in some of the comments here makes me wonder. No one is begging these ranters to come and read these stories. The fact that you read them and then rant about them shows how idiotic and insecure you are. I also DO NOT appreciate the blatantly and shamelessly racist comments that a lot of idiots post on stories by writers with origins in the Indian subcontinent. How ignorant do you have to be in this day and age to slur an entire people? Any racist comment which uses racist slurs will be deleted at once.



I was sitting in a coffee shop downtown in a New Jersey college town working on a term paper, when the cellphone rang. It was Parag, my boyfriend.

"Hi sweetie!" I answered enthusiastically. "Just 48 hours!"

"Ummm.... Hi Anar." he said in a voice that immediately gave portends of what was about to come.

"Shit! Don't tell me! DO NOT FUCKING TELL ME!" I said. By now, the pattern was all too obvious.

"I am sorry darling, but I can't make it this weekend. Dr. Jones is really cracking the whip and....."

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I said a lot louder than I intended, drawing stares from the dozen or so patrons of the coffee shop and the barista.

"Please try to understand, Anar."

"No, you understand something, Parag. I am enrolled in a Masters program pretty much identical to yours. I didn't even want to fucking come to the United States. I was...."

"Yeah yeah, you were happy working as a code coolie in India." Parag said, his contrition suddenly turning to sarcasm. "I am the one responsible for throwing you in the nightmare that is America!"

"I don't think it's a nightmare." I said in a calm but frigid voice. "I quite like it here. I manage to get all my work done through the week and keep the weekend free for you! You're the one who keeps cancelling."

"Anar, I don't enjoy cancelling my trips. It's not like I love staying in North Carolina all the time. But the work really is...."

"The work is too much? Again, I am in pretty much the same program as yours, Parag. In a higher ranked university!"

"Well...." Parag seemed lost for words for a while but came back with an unsavory zinger. "It's not my fault that I am not a hot woman whom Professors take it easy on."

I silently seethed in anger at what he had just said. He stayed silent too. There was dead air on the phone for about a minute. Finally I gathered my thoughts and said,

"You asshole! Are you implying that I somehow have it easy, being a woman?"

"No, I am not saying that." Parag replied hesitantly.

"I work my butt off getting everything done, Parag. I have to work twice as hard as anyone to be taken seriously." I said, feeling my voice rise again.

"I am sure you do, honey. But you have to realize...."

"I don't have to do anything. You're the one who has to work harder instead of hanging out with your buddies playing stupid video games."

"Hey, those games help me relax!" Parag shot back.

"No they don't. They distract you from your work. If you had not wasted your time on those stupid MMORPG games...."

"They are not stupid. The gaming industry last year......."

"..... brought in more revenue than Hollywood. Yes I know. You keep repeating that idiotic little factoid you gleaned from NPR."

"Idiotic?" Parag said, now sounding upset. "You know what, even if I didn't have to work this weekend, I'd rather spend it playing those stupid games than take the bus to meet you!"

"Is that so? Fine then! Go stick your dick in a video game console!"

I said and ended the call. I stared at the phone angrily for a few moments and then looked around. Most people were ignoring me, but in their earnest indifference, I detected the hint of the fact that they had heard me have a big fight with my boyfriend. I cursed him and his video games in my mind and turned my attention to the term paper.

"Hi, excuse me...sorry to bother you...." a voice in my periphery said a few minutes later.

I looked up and saw a vaguely familiar face belonging to a man slightly older than me. He had a mop of brown hair and a brown goatee surrounding a friendly smile. He wore a white Coldplay t-shirt and stonewashed jeans. I had a strong feeling I knew him from somewhere, but couldn't quite place him. But just to be on the safe side, I flashed him a polite smile and said,

"Hi! How're you doing?"

"I'm good." he said and paused. Then he said, "I was wondering....are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as I could.

"Okay....well...I was sitting on the next table and couldn't help overhearing....and since we see each other every day, I thought I'd just check up on you." he said.

I looked at him trying to keep a smile on my face, but trying really hard to figure out where I knew him from. He must have read my mind, because he said

"You have no idea who I am, do you?"

"I am sorry," I said feeling guilty. "You look familiar but I can't quite...."

"It's okay. I guess I look a lot different when I am not wearing a janitor's uniform." he said and smiled.

And then it dawned on me. He was one of the janitors in the department where I was a graduate student. He didn't work on the floor my office was in, but I did see him around the building on a daily basis. Especially when I went out of the building for a smoking break, and he was also there, silently puffing away at his Parliaments.

"Oh yeah! I am so sorry. I just didn't...."

"Don't be sorry. It's not like janitors and graduate students fraternize a lot. I only know you by sight cos I have seen you at the smoker's corner with your Camels. I don't know your name though."

"I am Anar." I said, extending a hand towards him. He took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"I am Dustin." He said and asked, "Say, do you mind if I join you at this table? I hate having coffee alone."

"Sure." I said. He seemed friendly enough. Dustin pulled up the chair in front of mine and sat down.

"So as I said, I couldn't help overhearing....."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't mean to be so loud." I said apologetically.

"Oh no, that's fine. I was just wondering if I could be of any help. I've been in such situations a lot."

"What situations?"

"Well, long distance relationships. Troubled relationships. Fights. Arguments. So if you wanna talk about it with someone, feel free to unload on me."

I looked at him for a moment. Dustin seemed friendly enough but I barely knew him. I didn't feel comfortable sharing the problems in my love life with him. But he was just trying to be helpful. So I politely said,

"Oh it's okay. I don't wanna bore you. It's just the same old thing. Same old fight. Nothing too serious."

"My girlfriend and I also keep having reruns of our fights." Dustin said, as the waitress got his cup of coffee and put it in front of him. "There are two episodes that are on the rerun all the time. One is, why don't I give up trying to be a musician and get a real job. "

"A musician?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, you don't think I am a career janitor, do you? I took this job just to pay the rent. I am part of a band. I am the bass guitarist."

"Wow, I had no idea!" I said, realizing that this janitor was a lot more interesting than he first appeared. "What kind of music do you play?"

"Oh we don't like to label ourselves. But it is kinda punk folksy alternative indie rock with underground and Brit-pop influences."

I chuckled at the complex but vague description.

"Yeah, I know. Sounds wishy-washy. But that's kinda our sound! When we make it big, we'll start our own genre." Dustin said, taking a sip of his coffee.

"And your girlfriend wants you to give it up?" I asked.

"Yeah, she does. She says I am about to turn 35. My band hasn't even landed decent gigs in Manhattan. Our time is done. Time to move on."

I was surprised to learn that Dustin was 35. As I said, he just looked a few years elder to me. I am 24. I guessed him to be in his late 20s. Maybe he looked younger because he had a small body frame. He wasn't more than 5 ft 8, and could not have weighed more than 160 pounds.

"But you want to keep playing?" I asked the question I assumed I was expected to ask.

"Well, we, my band members and I, figure we should keep doing it as long as it seems right. But my girlfriend insists I should stop. Which is ironic, because I met her at a concert of our band last year. So if it weren't for my band, we wouldn't even be together."

"What does she do?" I asked.

"She is a paralegal in a law firm in Manhattan." Dustin said. "I know, not exactly a high-flying career. But better than being a janitor. Honestly, I don't think the band bothers her as much as my being a janitor on the side."

"So why don't you quit that job?"

"I don't share her condescension towards the profession. You see, my dad was also a janitor at the university. He raised a family of 3 kids on his salary. We never lacked in anything meaningful. So I see now harm being a janitor in my day job while I work on my music."

I nodded, partly in admiration, partly in confusion. As someone raised in India, I instinctively looked down upon those engaging in menial work, janitors being among them. But since I moved to America, I was surprised and impressed at the dignity associated with any kind of labor in this country. How people like plumbers, drivers, carpenters, and yes, janitors, were not thought of as some inferior human beings. Just people doing their jobs. I knew enough about American society by now to know it wasn't exactly egalitarian. But for someone coming from India, the American society did seem to present way way more dignity for blue collar professions.

"I suppose you're right." I said

"I think I am. But she doesn't think so. I think she is embarrassed to tell her trendy Manhattan friends that she is dating a janitor from South Jersey." Dustin said, finishing his coffee. 

"And what's the second problem?" I asked.

"Second problem?" Dustin asked, a bit confused.

"You said there were two episodes that keep..."

"Oh yeah! The second problem is, a couple of my female friends that she is always jealous of. She lives in Manhattan so we don't get to spend much time together. Just weekends. So she gets very insecure and jealous." Dustin said.

"And you think she shouldn't be?"

"She shouldn't. I mean, yeah, I admit that I have slept with more than my share of women over the years. But since Vicky and I started dating, I have been completely faithful to her. These female friends are just that, friends. But she gets jealous, and we have fights over them."

I took another look at Dustin. He didn't really seem like an Adonis. Sure, he was cute, with a good personality and an easy manner, but not something that would cause groupies to line up.

"That's shame." I said sympathetically.

"Well, that problem arises from the long distance part of the relationship. I live here in South Jersey and she lives in New York."

"New York? That's just an hour away!" I said, laughing. "Try being in a relationship with someone in North Carolina!"

"Wow, your boyfriend lives in North Carolina???" 

"Yup!"

"How did you two start dating then?"

"Oh, when we started dating, we both lived in Bombay. We were in the same class in undergrad. Started dating in our second year, or as you Americans call it, sophomore year."

"I see."

"We were also lucky enough to get a job in the same company where we worked for a year. But Parag...that's his name... always harbored dreams of coming to America for his Masters."

"And you didn't want to?"

"It's not that I didn't want to. I just didn't care as much about it as he did. I would have been perfectly happy in that job, living together in India, getting married, having kids, raising a family."

"But he didn't want to?"

"It's more like he really wanted to come to the US. So he pestered me until I agreed to apply to Masters programs in the US in our field in engineering." I said, finishing my cup of coffee, which by now was really cold. "We applied to the same schools. We were sure we'd get into at least one program together. But as it turned out, I got admits from a bunch of schools totally different from the ones he got into. So we ended up choosing schools that were the closest to each other."

"And that was New Jersey and North Carolina????" Dustin incredulously asked.

"Yeah well, it turns out we hadn't figured out the US geography THAT well when we applied. And to be honest...." I said shrugging, "Parag overestimated his chances despite his grades being a lot lower than mine. So he got a lot fewer admits than I did. And this set-up is what worked best."

"So an 8 hour drive is the closest you could be?"

I shrugged again.

"So what's the problem you to are having?" Dustin asked.

"Well...." I hesitated a bit before answering. But he had told me about his problems in such detail that I felt guilty holding back. "Primarily, we are having trouble coping with the distance. We have never been away from each other before. This is tough."

"Understandable."

"Secondarily, I don't think he tries hard enough to meet me. He seems to be behind on his work a lot, and keeps cancelling our plans."

"Well, they say grad school ain't easy."

"Yeah, but I am in fucking grad school too!" I said, testily. Dustin immediately looked apologetic.

"I know. But maybe he's just not as smart as you are."

"Sometimes I think he isn't as concerned about this relationship as I am." I said, and immediately bit my tongue. It was my worst fear, and certainly not one I should have shared with an almost-stranger.

Dustin wanly smiled at me. He gently patted my hand and said,

"I am sure he is. And I am sure it'll all be okay. It'll be okay between you and Parag. And it'll be okay between me and Vicky."

I patted his hand with my other hand and smiled. Dustin nodded his head and then got up.

"Anyway, I have to go for band practice. It was great talking to you." he said. "I'll see you around school. Don't be a stranger, now!"

"I won't. Seeya, Dustin!"

Dustin walked out of the coffee shop and I got back to working on my term paper. ---------------

I got done with the paper at about 10 pm and took a bus back to my apartment. I shared a 2 bedroom apartment with 2 other female Indian grad students. I paid half the rent and had a bedroom to myself. And the other two girls shared the other bedroom. I had chosen this arrangement because I expected Parag to keep visiting me, so I'd need the privacy of my own bedroom. He had made a similar arrangement in his university town in North Carolina for whenever I visited. But after the first month, when one of us braved the 8 hour bus ride to visit the other every weekend, the frequency of the visits had gone down drastically. And the only relief my bedroom offered me was freedom from the bickering of the two stone age bitches who were my roommates.

I shouldn't be too harsh. They weren't exactly bitches. Just very very childish and conservative. Both came from small towns in India so thought and dressed very frumpy. They were both strict vegetarians, and had never touched alcohol or a cigarette. They forbade me from cooking meat in the house, although I was permitted to bring in non-vegetarian food from outside as long as I ate it in my room. And they clearly disapproved of my smoking, although I did it outside the apartment. They also weren't happy at the fact that whenever Parag came over, he slept in my room, and we obviously had sex. They were like two conservative judgmental aunts I never had and never wanted.

But the worst part was, for all their problems with me and my so-called "lifestyle", it was each other that they couldn't get along with. They were always feuding with each other, which made life difficult since they slept in the same room, albeit on different beds. I wasn't even sure what the origin of the feud was. It had something to do with one of them drinking milk from a carton the other bought, or not cleaning the room or some such petty reason. But they kept bickering all the time. It was the worst living situation imaginable.

That night, luckily, there seemed to be some sort of a truce. Both of them were sitting in the living room watching TV. I joined them for a while, and then headed downstairs for a smoke. I could feel their disapproving looks burning into my back when I walked away.

As I lit up my cigarette, the phone rang. It was Parag. He called up to say he was sorry for being such an ass to me. He sounded so earnest that I apologized for being a bitch too. I assured him that I understood if his work this weekend had made him cancel the trip. Parag on his part promised me he'd try to word harder and visit me as soon as he could. We both said "I love you" to each other, and I went to bed feeling a lot better.

---------------

Over the next few days, I kept running into Dustin in the department. We usually chatted and exchanged a few words when we met in the corridors. He'd ask me how Parag was doing and I'd inquire after Vicky. Then one day, we both happened to be outside the building at the same time for a smoke. The conversation moved from small talk to elaborate talk. And both of us ended up sharing more information about our love lives than we previously had.

"To be honest, the problem is, I do have a roving eye. But just an eye." Dustin said.

"How do you mean?"

"Vicky is the first serious girlfriend I have had in four years. And I am not quite used to being in a monogamous relationship. And being in a band, I get a lot of opportunities to flirt with pretty women. Lots of temptations."

"Hmmmm."

"But I have never acted on those temptations. The problem is, I usually end up telling Vicky about some of these instances. Like last month, two girls came up to me and our lead singer after a gig we had in a bar downtown. The lead singer is single, so he had no hesitation in turning on his charm at full blast on one of the girls. I was his de-facto wingman so I flirted, within limits, with the other girl. But it never went beyond that. I told about this to Vicky. And instead of appreciating my honesty and fidelity, she lost her cool over the fact that I had agreed to be a wingman."

"Well, it is understandable."

"Is it? If I wanted to cheat on her, why would I tell her these things?"

"But if it disturbs her so much, maybe you should keep it to yourself."

"Oh, I have tried that. But when I don't share such stuff with her, she gets paranoid and keeps asking me about whom I met at the last gig, When she can turnb up for some of the gigs we have, she gets jealous about some female fans flirting with me. And then we spend more of the weekend fighting."

"That sucks."

"Yeah it does."

----------------

A few days later, Parag and I had another fight. One that made me really hate him. And this time, I sought out Dustin, took him outside the building and started venting.

"It's like he resents me for my success. For my brains. I think he just wants me to be a dumb housewife cooking for him." I started, after Dustin lit my cigarette with his Zippo.

"Come on, I'm sure he is better than that."

"Is he? Do you know what happened today? We both got our midterm results. I aced it. He got a C. Instead of congratulating me, he made snide remarks about my A!"

"What kind of remarks?"

"He said, and I quote 'well, if I were as hot as you, I could get straight A's too.' What the fuck? I slogged my ass off preparing for the midterms."

"I know you did. I saw how late you left every night last week." Dustin said, exhaling smoke.


Long Distance is a Bitch Ch. 01



"And when I got upset about it, he accused me of being selfish. Said I was more interested in rubbing my A in his face than consoling him over his C. Why the fuck should I console him when I know the grade he got was because of a console... a video game console!" I said, upset.

"Good one!"

"I was not trying to make a joke!" I snarled.

"Sorry!" Dustin raised his hand in an apology.

"What's wrong with men? Why are they so difficult to date?"

"I know they are. Which is why I date only women!" Dustin said and smiled.

I glared at Dustin in half anger and half amusement. He maintained a smile on his face. Finally, I burst out laughing at his silly joke. He joined in, and we laughed for almost a minute.

"I am sorry. So sorry." Dustin said. "I didn't mean to make jokes."

"It's okay." I said.

"It's just that.....well..... I'm a little high."

"You're what?????" I said in shock.

"I am high. On weed. I took a couple of tokes from this joint earlier." Dustin said, taking a half burnt joint out of his cigarette box.

"Dustin! Are you insane? You could get fired!"

"Nah, they don't do drug testing at universities. One of the reasons I love this job."

"Still...."

"Do you smoke weed?"

"Umm...no." I said. The tentativeness in my voice was obvious.

"That's not a definite No."

"Okay, what I mean is I don't smoke weed now. Now that I am in America. Parag and I used to do it occasionally back in India during our college days. But here, well..." I shrugged, "I don't know if the risk is worth it in case I get caught and deported. Also, I don't know where to get it."

"I have some right here!" Dustin said, offering me the joint.

"Dustin! Put it away!" I said, looking around in panic. "Someone could see us."

"Come on! Just take a hit. It'll get rid of all this stress you've been under."

I stared at the joint for a moment and almost took it. But then I shook my head.

"No. I have to go back to the department. They may realize I am high. And smell it on me."

"Have some tictacs. That's what I do!" Dustin said, taking out a box of tictacs from his pocket and rattling them.

"No. They could still guess I am high." I said. "Please put the joint away! You'll get us in trouble!"

Dustin put the joint back in the cigarette pack and put it in his pocket.

"Tell you what. When are you going home tonight?"

"Same time as usual. 7 or 8 pm." I said.

"Hang around till 9. That's when my shift ends. I'll drop you home and let you have a couple of hits."

"I don't know Dustin...." I said, fighting the temptation to get high again after almost a year.

"Do they test grad students for drugs?"

"No."

"So? What's the harm? You said you've done it before."

I considered his offer and realized that there indeed was no harm in taking a couple of hits. God knows I could use it, with all the shit that had gone down with Parag.

"Okay fine. 9 pm?"

"Yup. Meet me at the north parking deck."

----------------

A few hours later, it was 9 pm and I was waiting at the exit of the north parking deck. A couple of cars went by before a beaten down Ford Pinto stopped next to me.

"Get in!" Dustin said. 

I opened the passenger door and got in the car. Dustin's eyes looked red. He had probably been smoking more of the weed in the meantime.

"Dustin, are you okay to drive?" I asked, worried.

"Oh yeah. I am fine."

"Maybe I should drive." I said.

"Relax! I have driven in much worse shape with no accidents." Dustin said and joined the traffic. "Now, where do you live?"

"East Poplar Ave."

"And we're a go!"

I sat in silence, praying to all the gods I could recall as Dustin drove us through the bumpy and crowded South Jersey roads. After a few minutes, I felt more at ease. He did indeed seem to have a handle on driving while high. Or should I say jughandle, since we were in South Jersey? Sorry, couldn't resist that pun!

Twenty minutes later, Dustin stopped the car outside my apartment. He reached into his pocket, took out the cigarette pack, and produced a joint from it. He looked around to make sure no one was walking by and lit the joint. He took a big puff, held it in for 20 seconds or so and exhaled. The smell of marijuana filled the car. He stretched his hand towards me, offering me the joint. I took a small toke, inhaled it, and held it in. The herb smoke seared my throat as it went down. I kept it in for about ten seconds and exhaled, coughing lightly.

"Fuck, that's strong!" I said, my eyes watering up slightly.

"Yup! Hydroponic and shit!" Dustin said and took another puff.

I felt this weed take effect a lot faster than the weed in India. My head felt light and I felt relief sweeping over me. When Dustin offered me the joint again, I took it and this time took a longer drag. Yes, this was some good strong weed, I thought to myself. Dustin and I both took about 5 hits each and the joint ran out. 

"That is good! So good!" I said happily.

"It is not un-good." Dustin said and started giggling. 

I joined in and we giggled for a while. The weed was now really starting to take effect.I felt the insides of the car gyrate a bit.

"Hey!" Dustin said. "You wanna hear some of my band's music?"

"I would love it!"

Dustin pressed a couple of buttons on his car's CD player and music combined with smoke to fill up the car. The song was about the bat mitzvah of some girl named Sarah. At first it seemed random, but then as I listened carefully, I could read between the lines.

"It's not about a bat mitzvah at all!" I said "It's about being in love with two people!"

"Exactly!" Dustin said, and raised his palm. I high-fived him.

The next song was about how the hero wanted soft-boiled eggs but got hard-boiled eggs instead. Another song was about jellybeans of different color. The next song was about the difference between goat cheese and regular cheese. I read profound hidden meanings into all those songs that I now forget. But Dustin and I were happily listening to the songs and discussing the subtext. This went on for about half an hour, although considering how high we were, it seemed like several hours.

"I should go. I have an early meeting tomorrow." I said.

"Okie-doke!" Dustin said and nodded.

"Thanks for the weed." I said.

"Thanks for the company." he said.

I got out of the car and started walking towards my apartment building. The walk to the main entrance, about 100 feet usually takes half a minute or so, but in my current state, it seemed like ten minutes. I got to the door and turned around. Dustin's car was still there. Silent. He had not started it. I stood there waiting for him to leave. But the car stayed silent. I don't know how long I stood there. It seemed like a long time, but must have been only a couple of minutes. I then saw Dustin get out of the driver's side and get into the back seat. That puzzled me. I made the seemingly long walk back to the car and peeped into the back seat. 

Dustin was lying down with his eyes closed. I knocked on the window and he opened his eyes and rolled down the window.

"Hey Anar!" 

"Hey Dustin.... what's up? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just....well....a little too high to drive. So I'm just gonna spend the night in my car here."

"What????"

"If I drive now, I could get into an accident. Or worse, pulled over! I'll be okay just sleeping in the back."

I stared at him and thought about something for a while.

"Dustin." I finally said. "Don't be silly. You don't need to sleep in the car. Come upstairs to my apartment. You can sleep on the couch."

"Oh no, it's fine. I have slept in my car lots of times!" Dustin said.

"Shhhhh!" I said putting my finger on my lips. "Come upstairs right now!":

"Okay...." Dustin said and got out of the car. He quietly followed me to my apartment building and then up the stairs.

I opened the door of my apartment and let Dustin in. It was just past 10 pm on a school night. Obviously, both my goody-two-shoes roommates were in their room studying. 

"There's the couch. Make yourself comfortable." I said to Dustin. He rushed to the couch and collapsed on it. Within a few seconds, he was snoring. I guessed smoking weed all day will do that to you. I myself was feeling rather high, but wasn't close to passing out yet.

"What is this?" one of my roommates said, standing at the door of their bedroom. The other was standing next to her, both staring in horror at Dustin.

"A friend of mine. He isn't feeling well. I asked him to sleep on the couch tonight."

"Are you mad?" the other one hissed. "Some strange man in our apartment with the three of us?"

"I told you, he's a friend of mine. It'll be fine." I said walking towards my room.

"This is not acceptable, Anar." she said.

"Yeah, well, then you wake him up and kick him out." I said and slammed the door behind me. I was not going to let those stuck-up bitches ruin my high. I opened my laptop, started a playlist of my favorite songs, and lay down on the bed. I am not sure when exactly I fell asleep.

-----------------

The next day, there was an almighty row. Quite unwarranted, I felt. Dustin woke up well before dawn and was gone before either me or my roommates woke up. But that didn;t stop them from bitching and moaning to me about it all morning until I left for school.

"How dare you bring a man into the house without asking us?"

"What if he had raped you? What if he had raped us?"

"What will other people say?"

"We were so scared we couldn't sleep all night."

"Is he your boyfriend? We thought you had a boyfriend in North Carolina?"

"Only characterless women bring guys home like this."

"We put up with your smoking and your eating meat, but this is too much."

All this is just a small sample of what my roommates bombarded me with. I argued back, reminding them that I pay half the rent, and I had as much right to this apartment as they did. I also reminded them that this wasn't small town India, so they had better stop behaving like two fuddy duddies. And I said a lot of things, throwing their insults back at them in equal measure. But by the time I left the apartment for school, I was regretting the whole thing. I still knew I was right in inviting Dustin to sleep on the couch instead of his car. But I didn't need this extra aggravation.

I got to school and immersed myself in my coursework and research. It was a particularly busy day for me, and even when I ran into Dustin, I just made small talk and left. He thanked me for letting me spend the night on the couch, and I told him it was no bother.

That night, Parag called. He started off by apologizing about the way he had behaved. He assured me he was proud of my achievements and admitted that he felt jealous that he couldn't keep up. But, he said, he would work on it, and work harder. And he promised me that he would absolutely come visit me the coming weekend. Pretty soon, we were professing our renewed love to each other. That out of the way, I thought of telling him about the previous night.

"By the way, last night, I smoked weed." I started, making sure there was no one around in the corridor of our department.

"What!!!?? How?" Parag asked in an excited voice.

"You know that guy Dustin I told you about?"

"Your janitor rock star friend?"

"Yeah, him. He got it for me."

"Nice! You're lucky to know such people. I must make friends like that here so I can smoke weed too!"

"It was really strong and smooth. In just 5 hits, I was over the moon!"

"Great! Can he get some for us this weekend when I visit?"

"I am sure he can! I'll ask him when I meet him." I said. "But it led to a fight."

Then I told Parag about how Dustin was in no shape to drive home so I invited him to sleep on the couch. And how my roommates gave me hell for it. Parag was very understanding, and agred that my roommates had been total bitches.

"This weekend, when I come, we should totally make out in front of them to make them angrier." Parag suggested.

"Oooh, great idea!"

With that, we ended our conversation. And I got back to studying, relieved that all was well with my boyfriend.

----------------

The next day, I spent some time with Dustin, smoking outside the building. Just cigarettes, not weed. He did offer me weed, but I told him to save it for the weekend when Parag visited. He told me that Vicky was coming over on Saturday as well, so maybe we could go on a couple of double dates over the weekend. I told him that sounded like a great idea.

The day after, I got back another midterm. In this one, I did quite badly, a C. I was distraught, because I had spent hours and hours studying for it. Worked really hard. And yet, I had scored a C. Even worse, I felt the course was getting harder, so I dreaded what might happen in the final exam. I tried calling Parag to vent about it, but he told me he was busy. He was working extra hard to finish his studying and research so he could come meet me, so I did not mind. I tried to seek out Dustin instead, but he was busy helping the crew wax the floors, so he did not get time to talk to me.

By the time Friday rolled around, I was a bit of a wreck, stressing about my crappy midterm. But I was relieved that at least I would get to spend the weekend with my boyfriend. His bus was to leave at 10 pm, so I called him at 8 to make sure he was packed and ready to go. It went to voicemail. I figured he was busy, and went back to studying. Half an hour later, he hadn't called me back yet, so I called him again. It went to voicemail again. I left him a message asking him to call me back.

Another hour went by. it was now 9:30. Still no call back, I was now getting testy. He should've been on his way to the bus stop by now. I tried to call him again. This time, it rang a few times and was finally answered.

"Parag, where the fuck are you?" I said. "I hope you're on your way."

"No, I am not. Listen Anar...." he said in a low voice I could barely hear.

"What? You'll miss your bus. Where are you?"

"I am at...."

He started saying and then I heard a female voice say softly in the background,

"Someone is coming! I hear footsteps..... who's on the phone?"

"It's my girlfriend."

"Hang up! Hang up!" the female voice said and the call ended.

What! The! Fuck!

I tried to process what I had just heard and called Parag back. It wasn't answered. I tried to call him again. Again, voicemail.

I started feeling rage build up as I replayed the phone call in my mind. He admitted he wasn't on his way. A female voice in the background asked who he was talking to, and that someone was coming. When he told her it was me on the phone, she made him hang up. And before and after, Parag was refusing to answer the phone. 

I needed someone to talk me down and tell me I was being paranoid. I ran downstairs to look for Dustin. I knew his shift ended at 10 pm tonight and he spent the last half hour mopping the lobby. 

"I need to talk to you right now!" I said, my voice quivering. Dustin looked at my face and figured out something was horribly wrong.

"Are you okay, Anar? What's wrong?" he asked in a concerned voice.

"I think my boyfriend...." I started crying as the words came out, "is cheating on me."

"What?" Dustin stepped closer and put a hand on my shoulder. By now I was all but bawling. I was glad that the lobby was almost empty. But there were still a couple of students milling about, and they started staring at me.

"Shush!" Dustin noticed others staring and led me towards a side door. We stepped outside to the spot where we usually smoked. Luckily that spot was completely deserted. Blubbering through my tears, I told Dustin about the phone call. 

"You know...that doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating on you." he said.

"Then....what.....could....it....mean?" I said, still crying. 

"I don't know. But.... well..." Dustin said, trying to figure out a way to stop my flow of tears. "Please stop crying. Let's figure it out."

But my tears refused to stop. I kept crying and repeating, "He is cheating on me, he is cheating on me" over and over.

"Okay, listen." Dustin said. "You stay here. Let me get my car keys and take you home. You need to calm down."

And he ran inside the building. I stood there, face in my hands, crying. Dustin was back with his keys. Usually when he left, he changed from his janitor's coveralls into street clothes. But in the hurry to get me home, he was still in his coverall. Which was just as well, because as he wrapped an arm around me and led me to the parking lot, my tears and some snot messed up the front and sleeve of his coveralls.

A few minutes later, I was sitting in the passenger seat of Dustin's car. I had calmed down enough by then. The tears had stopped. I wiped them off. We drove in silence for a while.

"I left my backpack in the department." I said.

"Do you wanna go back for it?"

"No, it's fine."

Silence for a while more.

"You know, we were never right for each other." I said.

"Come on! Don't say that!"

"I am serious! Now that he's cheating on me, I see it so clearly."

I spent the next ten minutes or so venting about Parag and his flaws. How selfish he was, and decided that whatever he wanted was the best for us. How he was insecure about my being smarter than him. How he never seemed to be working on the relationship. It always had to be me. I was telling Dustin the details of one of our earlier fights when he pulled up next to my apartment.

"Okay, we're here. Let's go inside and talk."

I got out of the car and then just stood there. Dustin looked confused.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to go in there, Dustin. Those bitches are in there."

"What bitches?"

"Those stupid annoying roommates of mine. I don't think I can deal with them right now, especially if I take you with me. I told you how bitchy they were the time you stayed over."

"Yeah. So where do you wanna go?"

"I don't know. Just....some place we can talk. I need to unload so much stuff. Clear my head. Figure things out."

"Well.... there's a quiet bar I know on Cedar where we could sit and talk."

"That sounds good. I really need a drink or ten right now."

We got back in the car and I checked my cellphone to see if Parag had called back. Nope, he hadn't. I thought of calling him again, but decided against it. Maybe his floozie would stop him from answering again.

"Hey Anar, would you mind if we stopped by my place real quick?" Dustin asked. "I'd prefer to change into something else."

"Oh shit, you're still in your coveralls. I have been so self-absorbed, I didn't notice it at all. Don't you usually change in school?"

"Yeah, but you were....you know.....it could wait. I could go back to school but my place is closer and is on the way to the bar."

"Sure, no problem. In fact I should wash my face as well."

Ten minutes later, Dustin pulled into the backyard of a small multi-apartment building. His apartment was on the 2nd floor. He opened the door and I found myself in his living room. Roomy and modestly but tastefully done. Not like Parag's apartment in North Carolina which was always a mess. 

"The bathroom is that way. I'll get changed." Dustin said and went into his bedroom.

In the bathroom, I washed my face. I never wore too much make-up, but my tears had messed up whatever little I did. I blew my nose, washed my face again, and wiped it with a towel.

I walked out into the living room. Dustin had changed into jeans and a Decemberists t-shirt. He was standing by the window, lighting a joint. He took a drag and said,

"Just a couple for the road. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." I said. "In fact....I think I could use a hit or two myself."

"Are you sure, Anar? You are already emotionally disturbed. I don't know if weed..."




Long Distance is a Bitch Ch. 01



"If anything, it'll cheer me up. It always does."

I walked up to him and took a hit. Ah, good stuff. We both took a couple of hits each and were on our way out when Dustin's cellphone rang.

"It's Vicky." he said, and walking towards the bedroom, "This won't take more than a few minutes. Have a seat. I'll be right back."

He close the door of the bedroom behind him. I walked to the couch and sat down. It was a comfortable suede couch with a matching loveseat. I felt the weed taking its effect on me and I felt a lot more relaxed than before. I looked around the living room. On the far side wall was a painting, or rather the print of a painting. It looked like a Jackson Pollock. I think it was the Number 5. I got up and walked to the painting and stared at it. Wow, what a painting to explore when you're high. I began seeing so many different shapes and figures in there, even Jackson Pollock would've called me insane. I stared and stared at it, and then pulled myself away. 

Another wall was covered with what seemed like an intricate collage of movie poster and blown up band album covers. I spotted bits from the posters of Scarface, a couple of James Bond movies, Sound of Music, Inception, Roman Holiday....and album covers from Coldplay, Motorhead, Led Zeppelin, Sex Pistols...... I was able to count at least 20 movies and an equal number of albums.

I turned around and looked at the bedroom door. It was still closed. I wondered how long it had been since Dustin was on the phone. It seemed like I had been in the room for over half an hour, but I was high, so couldn't be sure. My eye fell on the Pollock again, and I was about to get drawn into it once more, so I looked away. And saw a couple of guitars in the corner. One was a bass guitar, another a regular electric guitar, and the third was a Spanish guitar.

I picked up the Spanish guitar, and walked to the couch. I had always wanted to take guitar lessons, but never gotten around to it. I held the guitar with both hands, trying to mimic the pose I had seen musicians take, and strummed at the strings. It made a sweet sound. I tried it a few more times and felt happy at myself. 

"You're holding it wrong." 

I looked up and saw Dustin walk out of the bedroom. He was smiling.

"You're just holding the guitar against your body. You need to rest it on your left knee."

"Like this?" I asked.

"Yup. Now that left hand. That grip should be more like a closed claw."

"Like this?"

"That look like a claw trying to break the strings. You have to gently touch them."

"Like this?"

"Wow, Anar, have you never held a guitar in your life?"

Dustin came and sat sideways next to me on the couch. He put his left arm around me and held my hand with his. He moved my fingers into the correct position on the guitar. 

"Yes, that's the way. Now your right hand."

He took my right hand in his and positioned it over the strings. As he did it, his goatee tickled against my ear and I giggled.

"Okay, now keep those fingers of your left hand there. Yes, like that." he said pressing my fingers. "And with your right hand, yes, now strum the strings lightly."

And a beautiful note rang out.

"Hey! That was do!"

"And here" he said, moving my left fingers again, "is re", and then "fa", "so", "la" "ti" 

I smiled at the ti and paused, Dustin's arms still around me. Then I heard a sniff, and instinctively turned back to see he had just smelled my hair. I looked into his eyes, and saw a gentle hunger. A tenderness combined with desire I had never seen in his eyes before. 

He lowered his face slightly and kissed me on my cheek. Then a kiss on my neck, sending tiny shivers down my body. And then realizing that his actions weren't unwelcome, he brought his lips close to mine and kissed me. I felt the soft hair of his goatee rub against my chin, an unfamiliar sensation since I had only kissed clean-shaven guys so far. I kissed back, as tenderly as he was. 

There was a soft thump as both our hands let go of the guitar and it fell to the floor. Without breaking the kiss, I turned my body so I was facing Dustin. He moved his left hand to the back of my head and pulled me closer. After a while, his tongue slowly probed my mouth, and I met it with my own tongue. His right arm went around my waist, and he pulled my body close to his. We were locked in a tight embrace, kissing each other passionately. 

The kiss continued, and I loved it. It made feel loved, desired, and wanted. Dustin was a really good kisser. Even his goatee felt nice against my face. Finally he broke the kiss and looked into my eyes again.

"Anar.....I...."

"Shut up!" I said and pulled him back into a kiss. 

The second kiss had gone on for a minute or so when I felt my left hand go under his t-shirt. It wasn't something I had planned. It just happened on auto-pilot. That's how Parag and I always made out. Dustin responded by putting his right hand inside my t-shirt, in the back. His hand moved slowly upwards, tracing circles all around my back and turning me on. His hand stopped right at the clasp of my bra.

He broke the kiss again, one in which we had exchanged most of each others saliva, and asked,

"How stoned are you?" 

I heard a hint of doubt in his voice. I replied,

"The right amount."

He smiled and resumed kissing me. His hand deftly unclasped my bra and then moved to my chest. He fondled my breasts under my bra and t-shirt even as we kept kissing. My left hand was under his t-shirt feeling his rock hard stomach and toned chest. I moved it lower and felt his crotch. There was definitely an erection there. I moved my hand back up to his chest.

But once I had gone south of the border, he decided he could do the same, and stay there. His hand moved lower from my boobs to the waist of my jeans and unbuttoned them. He then slid down the zip and put his fingers inside my panties. 

"MMMMMMMMMM!!!" I moaned without breaking the kiss and his fingers deftly found my clit and started teasing it. I squirmed at his touch. This made him lose the spot and he searched for it again and found it again.

Meanwhile, I took my hands back to the south of the border and unbuttoned his jeans. But before I could progress any further, Dustin broke the kiss. He sat back for a bit, and then pulled my t-shirt up, so that it and my bra were rolled up under my armpit and over my boobs. He then grabbed my right breast with my left hand, and put his mouth on my left breast. His right hand went back inside my panties and started playing with my clit again.

I was now being stimulated in my most sensitive areas - my clit and my nipples. I felt his goatee tickle my breast as he sucked on my nipple and gently bit it a few times before tongueing it. I put my head on the backrest of the couch and started moaning even louder. My right hand was now on his back and my left hand was on his head. Dustin's right hand would take the occasional break from pleasuring my clit to pulling my jeans and panties down, one tug from each edge. In a few minutes, he had the jeans and panties down to lower thigh, and my pussy was now as completely exposed as my boobs.  

Dustin sat back and surveyed the scene. Me laid out on his couch with my tshirt under my armpits and my jeans around my knees. He smiled and took his t-shirt off revealing what my fingers had detected was true. He had a well toned moderately hairy chest, and visible abs. He then got back to playing with my nipples with his tongue and my clit with his fingers.

All my senses get heightened whenever I am stoned, so Dustin's work on my clit began to have an effect a lot sooner than usual. In a few minutes, I felt an orgasm approach and as it hit me, I shuddered and instinctively turned away from him, writhing in pleasure. Dustin kept a hand around my waist and started kissing my ass which was now exposed to him. 

"Do you want to go to the bedroom?" Dustin gently asked me. I nodded, still shivering from the after-effects of my orgasm.

Dustin stood up and offered me a hand. I held it and got up. My jeans and panties were now bunched around my ankles. I stepped out of them and followed Dustin as he led me into the bedroom, naked except for my t-shirt and bra, which had now fallen back into place. Dustin was naked from the waist above and his jeans were unzipped, but still on.

The bedroom was dark when we walked into it. Dustin sat me on the edge of the bed and walked to the nightstand and turned on a lamp. Dim yellow light filled the room. He then opened the nightstand drawer and took out a condom. I stared at him as he then pulled down his pants and his underwear, and stood there totally naked. Clutching the condom in his hand, he walked around the bed until he was in front of me. And for the first time, I saw his erect penis.

It was roughly the same length as Parag's, about 6 inches. But its girth was about twice as much. And it was circumcised. I was wondering if I was expected to take it in my mouth when Dustin put the condom on the bed next to me, and then pulled my t-shirt and bra off, leaving me completely naked, like him. He then pushed me back so I was lying down on the bed and got on top of me. He kissed me for a while as he played with my boobs. As he did that, his erect dick, slightly moist from precum, rubbed against my stomach and thighs.

We made out like that naked, him on top of me, for about 5 minutes. My cunt was completely wet, in preparation of what was about to happen next. Finally, Dustin got up on his knees and reached for the condom. He held it in his hand, threw me a look that said, "are you sure?". I nodded, playing with a lock of my hair.

He tore open the wrapper, and rolled the condom onto his dick. I opened my thighs as he got between them. He then leaned forward, held my knees up, and gently started entering me.

"Aaaaah!" I cried out in some discomfort and pain even though I was very wet down there. His dick was thicker than an I had had before and my cunt took some time getting used to it.

"Sorry, I'll be gentle." Dustin said, and withdrew his dick slowly and pushed it a little again, very gently.

A few more thrusts and my cunt started accommodating his thick dick, although it still hurt a little. In a minute or so, it was fully in, and he then started fucking me. I felt contented at getting fucked after almost a month. 

"Mmmmm...yeah....hmmm..." I started moaning as Dustin's dick sent waves of pleasure through my cunt and my body.

Dustin's pace was gentle at first, but he slowly kept increasing it. As time went by, the pain in my cunt subsided and was replaced by pure pleasure. He then grabbed hold of my boobs and started fucking me faster. My moans and grunts grew more frequent as well. 

We had been fucking for about 10 minutes when I heard a ringtone. It was my cellphone which was in the living room. Dustin froze for a moment and then withdrew his dick, jumping off the bed and running to the living room. In a few seconds, he was back with my cellphone in his hand.

"It says Parag." he said, handing it to me as he sat down on the bed next to me.

I took the phone and hit the end call button and threw it to the side. I then pushed Dustin so he was on his back and got on top of him. I put my knees around his sides and lowered myself onto his still erect dick.

"Mmmm." Dustin moaned, put his hands on my waist and pushed me down harder, fully entering me once again. I put my palms on the bed above his shoulders and started riding him. My boobs swung like melons above his face and he licked and bit as we resumed our fucking. Dustin put both his hands on my buttcheeks and grabbed them, pushing with my motion as I rode him.

A couple of minutes later, my phone rang again. Without pausing our fucking, I reached for it and hit the end call button again. For good measure, I turned the ringer off as I kept riding Dustin and threw the phone on the floor. 

After five minutes, Dustin pushed me on my back and got on top of me again. He started fucking me really hard and fast, and I could see from his face and the throbbing of his dick that he was about to cum. Sure enough, in a couple of minutes, he started jerking his hips and had his orgasm with a loud grunt. He then collapsed on top of me, and started kissing me. We kissed for about two minutes and his condom-covered dick slipped out of my cunt.

Dustin got up and rolled the condom off. He threw it in a trashcan by the bed. I was laying there with a feeling of exhaustion sweeping over me. It had been a little over 20 minutes of fucking. Parag's average was 10 so it was more than I was used to. Plus I had had a long day and taken a few hits of weed. And it was half past midnight already.

Dustin got back on the bed between my legs and lowered his head. I felt his tongue flick my clit and immediately, I closed my legs.

"Just....taking care of you." he said, confused.

"Thanks, but I'd like to just go to sleep."

I crawled towards the head of the bed, put my head on a pillow and closed my eyes. I started drifting into sleep, vaguely aware that Dustin had turned the light off, and had joined me on the bed with his arms around me. Soon I was asleep.

-----------

I awoke in darkness to some motion. It took me a few seconds to register why I was naked in a strange bed. The radio clock said 2:43 AM. I turned around to see what motion had woken me up. It was Dustin, jacking off his erect dick. As soon as he noticed I was awake, he stopped. And pulled me towards him and kissed me. I kissed him back and we made out for a few minutes. His dick was erect-er than ever. So I rolled over to the nightstand, opened the drawer I had seen him open earlier, and took out a condom. 

This time he started by fucking me from behind, laying down on our sides like spooning. he then made me get on my hands and knees and fucked me doggy style, spanking my butt a few times as he did so. Then reverse cowgirl for a while until it was back to doggy style, during which I had an orgasm. He ended by cumming into the condom inside me in a missionary position again. By the time we fell asleep again, it was 3:31 AM. He'd been fucking me for almost 45 minutes.

-----------

The next time, I awoke to the rattle of curtains opening and early morning light flooding in. I half-opened my eyes, and saw it was just 6:20 AM. I saw Dustin was fully dressed, but I was still too sleepy. I turned away from the window, covered my head with the blanket, and tried to go back to sleep.

But Dustin sat on the bed next to me, and poked me on the shoulder.

"Hey Anar. Good morning."

"Let me sleep!" I said in an irritated voice, taking the blanket off my head and throwing him a dirty look.

"I would've but see, the thing is...... this is so awkward....."

"WHAT???" I have never been a morning person.

"Vicky just called that she'd left from New York and will be here in an hour. And so well..."

"So you need me gone." I said propping myself up on my elbows. Dustin stared at my breasts for a few seconds before answering.

"Kinda...well... you know, I feel bad about this, but she had already made plans to come down and...."

"Well, she IS your girlfriend." I said, getting up off the bed.

"The situation is a bit messed up." Dustin said as I picked up my bra and t-shirt off the floor and put them on one by one. "But I really liked what happened last night."

"Where are my jeans?" I said, naked from waist down, looking around the room. I found my cellphone but not my bottom garments.

"I think they're in the living room."

I walked to the living room and Dustin followed me, still talking

"Once she is gone, we should talk. Maybe Monday night?"

I stayed silent as I put on my panties and then my jeans. 

"Could you call me a cab please?"

"Cab? Don't be silly. I'll drop you off."

"No, don't bother. You need to rid your apartment of any trace of me and prepare it for Vicky!" I said, unnecessarily caustic.

Dustin's face immediately wore such a dejected look that I felt bad for saying it.

"Please Anar, let me drop you home."

"Okay, fine."

Five minutes later, I was in his car, checking my phone. I had 18 missed calls from Parag through the night. I decided I'd call him back later. I just stared out the window for a while. Finally, we reached my apartment.

"Let's talk Monday." Dustin said reaching across for a kiss. I pulled away and said,

"Maybe."

"Whenever you're up to it, Anar." he said.

I opened the door, put one foot out and put into words what I had been thinking the whole time.

"This is new territory for me, Dustin."

He looked at me confused.

"Being the tramp who slept with someone else's man."

"Anar...." Dustin said in a plaintive voice, but I continued,

"Being the other woman who is kicked out early morning to keep it all hush hush."

Dustin looked at me with a dejected face.

"It's not your fault, Dustin. Don't make that face."

I slammed the door shut and walked to the apartment.



Long Distance is a Bitch Ch. 02



I entered the apartment and was relieved that my roommates were still sleeping in their room. I did not need to deal with their questions about where I had spent the night. I went to the bedroom, change into a bathrobe and went to the bathroom to take a long shower. 

Throughout the shower, I mulled over the previous night's events, especially how fast they had unfolded. Even when I entered Dustin's apartment the previous night, I had no inkling that I even felt any sort of attraction to him, forget the idea of sleeping with him. But as I thought back to the time I had spent with him, there probably had been some sort of special rapport between us, if not chemistry. I had always found him easy to talk to, interesting, kind, and a great friend. But maybe I had subconsciously felt something more, something I had refused to even recognize because I was still convinced that I was still in love with Parag.

But once I got an inkling of Parag cheating on me, and ditching me for the umpteenth time, maybe my mind, unshackled thanks to the weed, had recognized the attraction and given in to the moment. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying it was all weed or even mostly weed that led to last night's events. I don't believe weed, unlike alcohol, can make you do stupid things that you later regret. But it does make you think more clearly. Or make you think you're thinking more clearly.

So...what exactly had last night meant? Was it just a one night thing, meant to relieve the stress of a tough couple of weeks? Or did I really feel something special towards Dustin? And what was I to him? Just an attractive woman who ended up being in a vulnerable state and giving in to his charms? Or was I something more? He had, of course, shunted me out in a hurry because Vicky was coming.

Questions. Questions.

I turned the shower off, dried myself and returned to my bedroom. The hot shower had made me sleepy again. So I just threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and crawled under the sheets. Within minutes, I was asleep.

I woke up at noon, and checked my phone which was still on silent mode. Five more missed calls from Parag, and three voicemails, all of which I assumed were from him. I knew I had to talk to him eventually. There's no way this could continue. I had to tell him about Dustin, confront him about his woman on the side, and break up.

But I needed some coffee first. I went to the kitchen, brewed a tall cup, and with it sat down in front of the TV. My roommates were not around, and I assumed they had gone for their weekly grocery shopping trip. I flipped the channels and froze when I saw the headline on one of the news channels.

"NC Mall Gunman Stand-off."

There was a reporter in front of a mall talking to a group of people, one of whom was positively Parag. What the fuck is this, I thought to myself and turned the volume up.

'We're talking to some of the shoppers who were holed up in the mall for several hours last night when a gunman went on a shooting rampage in a college town in North Carolina last night. Fourteen people were shot, two of whom are in critical condition, but thanks to the alert mall security, there have been no deaths so far. Here we have a group of people who have been released by the police after preliminary debriefing and first aid. They were all holed up in different parts of the mall as the gunman made rounds for several hours until a SWAT team shot him dead.'

What the fuck?

'Yes ma'am, you were in the jewelry store?' she asked a young white brunette standing next to a blonde man.

'Yes, My husband and I were in a jewelry store on the 3rd floor at about 8 PM when I heard gunshots. Immediately, I feared the worst. I rushed out of the store with some other people and saw pandemonium. Most people ran down the stairs, and we were about to as well, when the gunman started firing shots in the air. We ran into the corridor where a mall cop directed us into one of their offices.'

'And how many of you were there?'

'About twenty of us.'

'And what happened next.'

'We closed the solid wooden door, turned the lights off and stayed silents. There was still sound of sporadic gunfire. The mall cop asked everyone to stay completely silent, and he radioed for help. My husband and I were really scared.'

All the time, I was listening to everything with shock, and staring at Parag, who was a few feet away from the couple, looking very shaken. The reporter then thrust her mike in front of Parag's face.

'And you sir, were you also in that office?'

'Yes, I had gone to buy my girlfriend a gift from the jewelry store, and I also heard gunshots.' I heard my boyfriend say. 'We all went to the office and hid out there.'

'For how long?'

'Almost midnight, so about four hours. We kept hearing random gunshots through the night. The gunman was obviously walking around the mall, searching for people to kill. At one point, he passed by right outside our door. But we all stayed silent and he didn't realize anyone was in there.'

'Lucky escape. And you miss'

The reporter turned the mic to another woman next to Parag.

I ran to the bedroom and got my phone. Immediately I dialed Parag. It went to voicemail at once. Called him again. Voicemail again. I then called my voice inbox to listen to Parag's messages.

"1st message, sent Saturday at 12:15 AM Hey darling, it's me. You must be worried about why I haven't been answering your calls. Well, I don't know if you heard about the gunman on a rampage in a mall in my town, but I was in there. Hiding in a room. With the phone on silent. We were all told to not answer any phones and stay silent, so I couldn't call you back. And the one time I answered, people around me made me hang up at once. It was for the best because we're pretty sure the gunman was outside our door. Anyway, it's all fine now. I am okay. I am just sitting in a police ambulance, while they check me out. But I am not hurt in any way. Just shaken. Talk to you soon. Will try calling again soon."

"2nd message, sent Saturday at 2:25 AM Hi Anar. Ummm haven't heard back from you. Maybe you're sleeping. Maybe you thought I bailed out again, so aren't answering my calls. Maybe you haven't heard about the gunman. Anyway, call me back as soon as you get this. And I promise, I am not bailing out of the trip. I will catch the next bus I can. I am supposed to talk to the police and their doctors yet. It's a big group."

"3rd message, sent Saturday 9:11 AM Hi honey, it's me again. I don't know why you haven't called me back yet. I wonder if you've lost your phone or something. Anyway, if you get this, I am at the Charlotte airport. I decided that surviving a crazy killer warrants spending money on air tickets instead of bus. My plane is boarding soon. I will be landing at Newark and will see you in a few hours. By the way, my phone is almost out of charge so it might not turn on when I land at Newark. If so, I'll just see you at home."

I sank on the bed in shock. My poor little baby had gone through such an ordeal. And I was..... oh my god! Suddenly the words from the previous night's phone call came back to me. 

"Parag, where the fuck are you?" I had said. "I hope you're on your way."

"No, I am not. Listen Anar...." he had said in a low voice I could barely hear.

"What? You'll miss your bus. Where are you?" I had said angrily

"I am at...."

Then the soft female voice in the background

"Someone is coming! I hear footsteps..... who's on the phone?"

"It's my girlfriend."

"Hang up! Hang up!" the woman saying in a panicky voice.

It all made sense. It wasn't some floozie he was cheating on me with. It must have been one of the hostages asking him to hang up when the gunman was outside the door. And I had assumed he had....and then I had....oh god, what had I done!

That's when there was a knock on the door. I ran and opened it. Parag was standing there, with a suitcase in his hand. I flung myself at him and kissed him. He kissed me back hungrily.

"Oh sweetie, I am so so so sorry." I said, between kisses. "The phone was on silent and I didn't check it til a while back."

"I missed you! I love you!" Parag said in between kisses.

"I love you too, baby."

Lip-locked, we made our was to the bedroom, and Parag threw me on the bed. He bolted the door shut and then jumped on top of me, taking off his shirt. I had stripped down to my undies already, and he pulled them off, and mounted me.

"Ummmm....." I said in pleasure, trying my best not to remember the much thicker dick that had been inside me

"Oh I love you, Anar" he said, fucking me at a rapid pace. I wasn't fully wet yet, but for some reason, it didn't hurt.

"I love you too, Parag." I said, hugging him tight. His chest rubbed against my boobs and I looked at them, hoping that Dustin hadn't left any hickeys there. I was glad to note he hadn't.

After about two minutes of fucking, Parag withdrew his cock from my cunt and spurted a lot of semen all over my stomach and boobs. Parag said he hated condoms and always preferred pulling out. The pill gave me headaches so I couldn't take it. So this is how sex between us always ended. Well, sometimes, he came in my mouth and I swallowed. 

He then collapsed on the bed next to me.

"Oh god! I was hoping I wouldn't cum that fast, but it's been so long."

"It's okay sweetie." I said, picking up his cum from my boobs with my fingers, and eating it like I always did. "You have had an exhausting time."

"Shit, it was so scary, Anar. I kept thinking of you, fearing that I'd never get to see you again." he said and started kissing me. We kissed for a couple of minutes, him fondling my boobs.

"I can't even imagine what you've been through, sweetie."

"It was hell! Luckily, the mall cop we had holed up in the room with us was a former police officer, and he kept us all calm and safe."

"I am glad!" I said, and resumed kissing him. 

We made out, naked for a good twenty minutes, until Parag got hard again. We went at it again. This time, he fucked me missionary style and then doggy style (which were pretty much the only two positions he tried) for about ten minutes, before shooting his seed all over my ass. We cuddled for fifteen more minutes.

"I am so sleepy." Parag said.

"Awwww, just go to sleep sweetie." I said, kissing him

"Take a nap with me." Parag said.

"Sure."

We lay there spooning. In a few minutes, Parag's gentle snores started. But I lay there awake, with Parag's hand on my boobs, trying to come to terms with everything that had happened. 

I felt like shit. I deserved to feel like shit. Just on the basis of an overheard female voice over the phone, I had jumped to the stupid conclusion that Parag was cheating on me. When he was holed up in a room with two dozen other people, fearing a gunman's bullet, I was bitching about him to some other guy. And then when he called me to talk, I ignored his calls, and had sex with this other guy, Dustin, whom I had known barely a few weeks. At that moment, I felt like the skankiest and meanest bitch in the universe. I closed my eyes and tried to take a nap, but I couldn't. I just lay there, in my sleeping boyfriend's arms, feeling guilty over what I had done, and fighting back tears.

I wrestled over the decision of whether to tell him about Dustin or not. On one hand, he deserved to know the truth. Parag and I had always been completely honest with each other. We had been a loving couple for so many years. He deserved to know the truth. On the other hand, he had just been through an ordeal, the sort that can scar people psychologically for life. For god's sake, he had almost been gunned down by a nutcase! So dropping this bombshell on him, about my sleeping with someone else, would mess him up even more.

By the time he woke up three hours later, I had thought and re-thought the whole situation dozens of times, and decided about the best course of action. He woke up and started kissing me again. We kissed for a while, and then he asked.

"So what were you up to last night?"

"Well..." I paused before launching into a lie I had rehearsed in my mind. "After that phone call last night, I assumed you were cancelling the trip. I got mad. I was sure that if you called back, I'd bite your head off. So I just put the phone on silent and immersed myself into a tricky program that I had been working on. I worked on it in the department for several hours."

"Didn't you check Google News? I thought you keep doing that every hour!" Parag interjected.

"No, I was too occupied with the program. I finished working on it at about 3:30 AM, and fell asleep at the desk. In the morning, I took the bus home and slept some more. Until I woke up a few hours back, saw the news on TV, and checked your voicemails."

"Hmmm...." he said.

"I am so sorry, Parag. I feel like such a clueless bitch!"

"Hey! Hey!" he said, kissing me softly on the cheek. "Don't apologize. I can understand why you'd get mad at me. How could you know? And I have been cancelling these trips a lot. So I fully understand. There's nothing you have to feel guilty about."

He said and then started kissing me again. Oh darling, I said in my mind, I do have a LOT to feel guilty about. 

Parag and I spent the day pretty much naked in my room, cuddling, making out, napping, and having sex. I was surprised at how often he got hard and wanted it. Usually, Parag could go two or maybe three times in a day or night. That day, by the time we got hungry enough to step out of the bedroom, he had ravished me six times. I wondered if it was the adrenaline rush from the previous night's events.

We got dressed and walked out of the bedroom at 9 PM. Both my roommates were in the living room, poring over their laptops. They noticed Parag and their faces lit up.

"Parag! You're here! We saw you on TV! Wow, it must have been a nightmare!"

"It was okay." Parag said modestly.

The next half hour was spent in Parag recounting his horrible experience in detail. Both my roommates listened with rapt attention, making appreciative noises along the way. I had already heard the story from him in bed, so my mind drifted to the situation I found myself in. I was thinking about what to do next when my cellphone rang. It was Dustin! I considered ignoring the call, but since ignoring calls is what had land me in this situation in the first place, I decided against it. I got up and went to the bedroom to answer the phone. Parag was so engrossed in telling his story, he barely noticed me leave.

"Dustin...." I said, after closing the door.

"Hey Anar..... " he said "is it possible for you to meet me and Vicky for coffee or drinks tonight?"

"What?"

"She...she wants to meet you."

"Meet me? Why the hell? Did you tell her?" I asked, aghast.

"No, no, of course not! But she is insisting on meeting you. I am not sure why."

"Where are you calling from?" 

"From the men's room at the Korean restaurant downtown. Could you, I don't know, join us?"

"I can't, Dustin."

"Come on, Anar! Just fifteen minutes. You could give some excuse and leave after that."

"Dustin, I can't come because Parag is here."

"He's here? I thought he wasn't coming!"

"It's a long story. But he's here, and I am spending time with him."

"Get him along. We'd talked about double-dating anyway."

"Dustin! Are you crazy? Under the circumstances...." my voice trailed off.

There was silence on the other end for a few moments. Then Dustin said,

"I guess you're right. It's not my idea anyway. It's just that Vicky is really really insisting on it. And asking me all sorts of questions about you."

"Deal with your problems on your own, Dustin!"

I said and disconnected the phone. As I walked out to the living room, Parag was still talking about his night at the mall. I could see from his face that far from being traumatized, he was actually very excited by whatever had happened. 

After he ended his story, he suggested that we should all go out for dinner. My roommates readily agreed. They said they had lots of questions for Parag. We went to a Chinese restaurant a few blocks away, and I felt like a third wheel while the conversation was completely dominated by Parag and his exploits. I spent the time wondering why in the world Vicky wanted to meet me. Dustin had told me she was always jealous about his female friends. But still, why insist on meeting? Did she know something?

Dinner ended and we walked home. My roommates, still overflowing with admiration, seemed like they wanted to talk more. But Parag said he was tired, so we went to the bedroom. He locked the door and then started kissing me. I kissed him back. A few minutes later, his hand slipped inside my pants.

"Parag, please, no!" I said, pushing his hand away.

"What?" he asked sounding very surprised.

"Not now. Please. Maybe tomorrow? I am really tired and sore down there." That was part of the truth. In the last 24 hours, I had been fucked 8 times. It was way more than I was used to, and I did feel a little sore down there. But I was also not in the mood. I felt like just taking a big swig of Tylenol and having a dreamless sleep.

"Come on, just a quickie!" Parag said, and put my hand on his crotch. "See how hard I am"

"Please, Parag!"

"Okay, fine!" he frowned and turned away. I changed into shorts and a t-shirt. I took that swig of Tylenol and joined him in bed. He was on his side facing away from me, still sulking. I hugged him from behind and said,

"Let's cuddle a little, okay?"

Parag said nothing. Just gave me the silent treatment for about ten minutes. I lay there, my hand around me. The Tylenol started having effect and I was starting to fall asleep with my eyes half closed, when

"You're jealous of me." I heard Parag say.

"Huh?" I opened my eyes. He pushed my hand away, and turned on his side to face me.

"You're jealous that suddenly I am the center of all the attention."

"What are you talking about, sweetie?" I hugged him again. "I love you. I am relieved and proud that you survived last night. Why would I be jealous?"

"The afternoon is when you were relieved and proud. But now that it's been a few hours, that has worn off. You saw how your roommates were focused on me, and not you. And you can't handle it. You can;t handle not being the star in this relationship."

"What????"

"Oh come on! All through dinner, you were sitting there looking as if I had actually died! Or maybe wishing I had!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Parag!"

"Ever since we started dating, whenever we meet other people, you're the apple of everyone's eye. The smart, confident, funny, pretty Anar, the supreme conversationalist. I am always just the +1 in Anar+1, not the Parag in Anar+Parag. But I never let it bother me."

"You never let it bother you?" I scoffed. "You've always bitched about it!"

"The point is, now you're getting to experience how being the +1 feels. And you can't handle it, can you? You can't let me have my fifteen minutes of fame."

"Perfect phrase." I said snarkily.

"What?" he said, taken aback.

"Fifteen minutes of fame. Do you even understand what it exactly means? Do you even know who coined it?"

"Sure...." Parag said tentatively. "Winston Churchill."

"It was coined by Andy Warhol." I said. "And it implies that EVERYONE, whether they deserve it or not, will be famous for fifteen minutes. And once the fifteen minutes run out, no one gives a damn. Like Sanjaya from American Idol."

A look of anger flashed in Parag's eyes. He stared at me for a few seconds, and then said,

"Found a way to re-assert the belief you're better than me, didn't you?"

"Huh?"

"Yeah, just reminding yourself that you're not only the smarter one and the better looking one in the relationship, but oh so worldly wise, citing obscure artists." he said. "Trying to put me in my place by showing how little I know in comparison. Anything to restore the status quo to Anar+1."




Long Distance is a Bitch Ch. 02



"You're so petty and insecure, Parag!"

"I'm petty? You're the one who cares less about the fact that I could've been killed and more about how you're not the star tonight."

"Of course I care about what you went through! Of course I am thankful you survived! How can you even say that?" I said, almost shrieking. And then tears filled my eyes. I turned away from him, covered my face, and started crying. 

"That's your ultimate trump card in an argument." Parag said, contempt dripping from his voice. "The waterworks!"

I felt a surge of rage through my entire being. I sat up, wiped my tears off, and said,

"All this is because I asked you to wait till tomorrow morning to have sex? Here..."

I took my shorts and panties off in one swoop.

"...here, fuck me. Go on!" I said, opening my legs and gyrating my hips.

Parag stared at me, half angry and half turned on.

"Not enough? Here, I'll get completely naked!" I took off my t-shirt and bra. And then fully naked, got on my hands and knees, and thrust my ass towards Parag. "Go on, that's all you care about, isn't it? Mounting me like some wild cheap whore? Go on, do it!"

Parag just sat there.

"What're you waiting for, stud? Take me!" I said in a mock seductive voice. When he didn't respond, I turned to face him. "Maybe you want this whore to give you a blowjob first!"

I reached for his crotch to take his dick out, but he slapped my hand away. I tried it again, and he pushed me away, making me fall on the bed. He then got up, picked up a pillow and walked to the bedroom door. He opened it, turned around, and said,

"Sometimes, Anar, you can be a real cold-hearted bitch."

He stepped out and slammed the door behind him. I sat there naked, breathing heavily in rage, staring at the closed door. After what seemed like an eternity, my rage was replaced by cold anger. I put my clothes back on, and opened the door. Parag was sleeping on the couch, He saw me, and turned on his side to face away from me.

I went back to my bed and laid down. I willed myself not to cry, and closed my eyes. My head was an almighty volcano of negative emotions ranging from guilt to contempt to rage to self-pity. It took half an hour for the Tylenol's effect to resume. And I fell finally fell asleep.

--------------------

I woke up at 8:30, feeling drowsy like I always did after taking Tylenol. I noticed the other side of the bed was empty. So Parag had spent the night on the couch. I walked out of the bedroom, and saw Parag sitting on the couch with a cup of chai in his hand, talking to my two annoying roommates again.

"Good morning." Parag said politely. The roommates followed suit.

"Good morning." I said, yawning.

"There's a cup for you in the kitchen." he said.

"Thanks."

I walked to the kitchen, got my cup of chai and walked back to the living room. I saw on an easychair and listened to the conversation. They were talking about academic stuff, like advisors, assignments, internship search, and so on. I joined in, and we talked about mundane stuff for about half an hour.

"I should shower and get going." Parag said, getting up. "My return flight is at noon."

"Noon? I thought it was at 7:30 in the evening!" I said, remembering what he'd told me the previous day.

"It was. I changed it to noon." Parag said, and stared at the floor. I stayed silent.

My roommates, as dense as they are, realized they were witness to the aftermath of a disagreement, and both politely made excuses and left us alone. Parag got up and went to the bedroom. I followed him in.

"Why did you change the flight?" I asked him.

He said nothing.

"I asked you something."

Silence.

"Parag, talk to me, goddamit!" 

"What do you want me to say? You've treated me really horribly."

"So you're just throwing a tantrum and leaving? To make me feel guilty?"

Parag shook his head and said,

"It's all about you. Everything in the world has to revolve around you!"

I watched him in silence as he gathered his clothes for the shower.

"Parag, please, let's not fight. Just tell me what I have to do to change the flight back to evening. I am sorry if I was a bitch. I really am."

"I have been with you long enough to know which of your apologies are genuine. This one isn't." Parag said, and walked out of the bedroom.

This was classic Parag. He always found a way to guilt trip me and make me feel like shit. Once he got upset about something, he could hold on to the grudge for days, even weeks.

He returned fifteen minutes later, got dressed, and started packing his suitcase. In the meanwhile, I had gotten angrier at him, so my initial willingness to be the first to try and make up had subsided. I sat there, playing a battle of wills, and watched him pack. Once he got done, I started changing into jeans.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Changing." I replied.

"Why?"

"To drop you off at the airport!"

"Hmpf!" he said derisively. "I'd rather you didn't. I've already called a cab."

"Okay fine." I said, sick of his stubbornness. "Then I am changing and going out." I wore a sweatshirt to go with the jeans.

Parag picked up his suitcase, looked at me for a second.

"You know what.... I wish you'd change. But change more than just your clothes. I wish you'd change what you are."

I looked at him in stunned silence. Parag could say some really hurtful things when he got angry. But this really took the cake. Did he even realize the import of what he was saying? Tears rushed to my eyes. Parag seemed slightly taken aback. But he was too stubborn to take it back.

"Bye Anar." he said. "I'll text you when I land. That is, if you care about that sort of a thing."

And he walked out. I followed him to the front door. One of my roommates was in the kitchen.

"Bye Parag." she said. Then she noticed the tears in my eyes and looked away. I hated myself for letting her see me with tears in my eyes. My ego kicked in and I immediately wiped them off and composed myself.

Parag left the apartment and walked down the stairs. His taxi was waiting on the street. I was still following him. So he stopped.

"I told you I don't want you to come to the airport."

"I know. Would you do me a favor and drop me off downtown? It's on the way to the turnpike anyway." "Okay."

We got in the cab. I told the cabbie the intersection I wanted to be dropped of at, and then to go to Newark airport. Ten minutes later, the cab was at a traffic light, a few blocks from where I would be getting off. We had both been staring out of the our respective windows in silence. I finally looked at him and asked the question which had been on my mind.

"So is this your way of breaking up with me?" I asked. He looked at me.

"Is that what you want?" he asked.

"Is that what you're doing?" I asked.

He looked out of the window again. I repeated the question.

"No." he said, still looking away, and then after a pause added, "Not yet."

The cab stopped at my intersection. I got out of the cab. And it drove away.

I needed something to distract me, something to immerse myself in. I knew of a multiplex on that block. I walked in, bought a ticket to a random movie, and watched it. It was some sort of a buddy comedy movie. Very stupid, but it did the job. It made me smile a few times. Once it ended, I went and watched a movie playing on another screen. Then another. It was 8 PM by the time the projector light started making my head hurt, and I walked out of the multiplex.

I checked my phone which had been on silent all that while. 1 text message and 2 missed calls. The text was from Parag.

"Reached Charlotte."

That's it. I replied, "Okay".

The two missed calls were from Dustin. I sighed. I wondered if his girlfriend was still obsessed with meeting me. I really did not need that right now. I called a cab and went home. The roommates fortunately kept their queries and thoughts to themselves. I made myself a sandwich, ate it, then took two big swigs of Tylenol. And slept.

------------------------------------------

The next few days were absolute hell. There was a lot of studying to do, and assignments to finish. And there was the drama to deal with. Parag didn't call me on Monday, nor Tuesday, nor Wednesday. I was too angry with him to make the first move. He had asked me to change who I was. And when asked if he was breaking up with me, had said, "not yet". Fuck him! 

I was also doing my best to avoid Dustin. I didn't answer his calls. When I ran into him in the department, I walked the other way. When I went out to smoke, I made sure he wasn't around. He kept sending me text messages, all of which were variations on, "Please let's just talk" and "I miss our friendship."

Wednesday evening, around 8, I had fired off some printouts of a few papers, and was on my way to the copy room to pick them up. The corridor was almost empty. Just as I passed by a door, it opened. I saw Dustin. He stepped out, caught hold of my arm, and pulled me in. 

"Dustin! Let me go!" I said, not quite shrieking, but in a loud voice. He slammed the door shut behind me and dead-bolted it. I noticed that we were in a janitor's closet.

"For Christ's sake, just talk to me Anar!" Justin said and let go of my arm.

"I am not a Christian." I couldn't help blurt out my standard jocular response to whenever someone invoked Christ when talking to me.

Justin smirked. I couldn't help but smile either. It broke the tension.

"Why are you giving me the silent treatment?" he asked me.

"Dustin.... it's not really that."

"Do you believe I forced you in some way? Drugged you with the weed?"

"No, don't be ridiculous!"

"Do you think I somehow took advantage of your emotional vulnerability?"

I thought about the question.

"Did you?" I asked him. He seemed taken aback. He thought for a couple of seconds and responded,

"Not by design anyway. Whatever happened....I just caught up in the moment. I mean.... don't get me wrong. You are an absolutely amazing woman. I find you attractive in every way. If you weren't dating someone, I'd totally be hitting on you. But I think of you as a friend. A great friend."

"I think of you as a great friend too, Dustin. And I got caught up in the moment too." I admitted.

"So why have you been avoiding me? Not returning my calls?"

"It has nothing to do.....well it has only a little to do with what happened that night. I've been preoccupied with issues related to Parag."

"What kind of issues? Talk to me. It'll help you feel better if you vent."

"The last time I vented......" I said and smiled. He smiled back sheepishly.

"It was just in the heat of the moment. We're both adults. You can talk to me. Don't you think I am your friend?"

"Of course I do."

"Then let's talk."

I looked around.

"Here?"

"No, of course not here!" he said and opened the door. I stepped out. A couple of grad students walking by looked at us and smiled. I looked away from them. Thank heavens they weren't Indian, or this would be the talk of diaspora!

"I need to pick up some printouts. And finish a paper. When does your shift end?"

"Nine."

"I will be done by 9:30. I'll meet you in the lobby. This time, let's actually go to the bar you were going to take me to last time and talk. I could use a drink or five."

Two hours later, we were sitting in the bar on Cedar. It really was nice and quiet, with reasonably priced drinks. Dustin was having whiskey and coke. I was having a cosmo. And I was telling him the entire saga about Parag. Dustin listened quietly, like he always did, offering the appropriate inputs and sympathies along the way. By the time I was done narrating the story, we were both on out third drinks.

"And that's the whole fucking mess." I concluded.

"That is very messed up." Dustin nodded. "So what next? Do you think he's going to break up with you? Is that what he meant by 'not 'yet'?"

"I don't know. I think he might be."

"What do you want?"

"What do I want? Some peace of mind would be good."

"Yes, but do you want this relationship to continue? Do you love him?"

I thought about the question for almost a minute, finishing my third cosmo for the night.

"I am not so sure. I do love him. And I have always thought of him as the guy I want to spend my life with. But I am not as sure as I was back in India. This long distance relationship has shown me a whole new side of him. A petty side. An insecure side." 

"He does seem to have some sort of an inferiority complex, based on what you tell me."

"I know!"

"Is he right? Have you always been the 'star' in the relationship?"

"Well...I suppose so. But it's because I am more outgoing than him. Not that he's a wallflower. But yes, in public, I do get a lot more attention than him."

"And you are at a better school than him, with better grades...."

"Yes."

"You might end up getting a better job than him. Possibly a better paying one."

"It's possible."

"Are you okay with being with a guy who earns less than you?"

"Of course I am!"

"Do you see him okay being with a woman who is better than him in every respect? Do you think his ego can handle it?"

I stared at Dustin. He had articulated the crucial question perfectly. Was Parag up to it? Is that what he was coming to terms with in this mini-break he had enforced on our relationship?

"I am not sure. I used to think so. Now I don't know."

"The next time you visit him or he visits you, maybe you guys should have this talk."

I nodded. We sat in silence for a while as the waiter got us another round of drinks.

"Anar." Dustin finally said. "Do you think he knows.... about us?"

"You mean us being friends? Yeah, of course."

"No, I mean about that night. Does he have a clue?"

"I don't think so. How could he?"

"You said that when you woke up on Sunday, he was talking to your roommates and had already changed the ticket. Maybe they told him."

"Yeah, but they don't know."

"They must know that you didn't come home that night. Maybe they told him and he put two and two together."

"Hmmm...." I thought about it. "Nope, that's not the sort of thing Parag would sit on. Not a hothead like him. If he had even an inkling, he'd have blasted me about it by now."

"I see."

We drank in silence for a while more. That's when I thought of something.

"Dustin! I have been so absorbed in my problems, I totally forgot to ask you about yours. Why the hell did Vicky want to meet me?"

"I really have no idea!" Dustin shrugged. 

"Does she know? Did you tell her?"

"No, I told you I did not tell her. But she seems to suspect something. And it's more than her usual jealousy with other girls."

"How did your weekend go?"

"It was mostly nice. We did have a fight about this janitor-band thing again."

"She's not letting it go, huh?"

"Nope. You know this weekend I realized......." Dustin said, took a sip of his drink and stopped.

"Realized what?"

"Nothing. Forget I said anything."

"Come on Dustin! I just told you everything about my weekend."

"Yeah. You're right." he took another sip and said, "this weekend I realized that I don't think the Vicky thing is gonna last very long."

"What? Why?"

"She is too pushy. Too jealous and possessive. Wants to..... wants to change me. I don't want to be changed."

"Parag wants me to change too."

"Yeah, you told me."

"Look at us! In relationships with people don't like us for who we are, but what they want us to become!" I said, and finished the drink.

Dustin looked at me in a funny way, then looked into his glass. The waiter came to ask if we wanted more drinks. Both of us said no. Dustin insisted on paying for the drinks and then we left the bar. As I walked, I felt a little woozy. Not drunk, but nicely buzzed. Dustin seemed fine. But just to be sure, I asked him,

"Are you sure you're okay to drive?"

"Yes, I am. Want me to say the alphabet backwards?"

"No, that's fine." I said and got in the car. He sat in the driver's seat. And started driving the car.

When he dropped me off at my apartment, he gave me a peck on my cheek, which I returned.

"We'll be okay." I said, patting his hand.

"Yes, we will." he said with a wistful smile and drove away.