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Letting Go

By: Miltone



There isn't a better season in the Midwest than spring. Summer, fall, and winter can all be enjoyable for swimming, hiking or skiing, but I've always found something particularly invigorating about springtime: the fertile smell in the air as the ground thaws out and the spring flowers and grasses begin to grow; the balmy breezes from the southwest that let you go outside without needing to bundle up; the growing daylight that extends past 7 o'clock in the evening so you can enjoy the sunset at home with a glass of Chardonnay instead of at work with a Sprite.

I've always been one of the first in my neighborhood to get out in the spring to clean up the yard, plant flowers or transplant shrubs, or just sit on the patio and contemplate what changes I'd like to make in the landscaping. After spending nine or ten hours at work, nothing beats working in the yard to relieve stress and cleanse the soul. It has also been good therapy for getting over the loss of my beautiful wife in a traffic accident.

It was in the spring a year ago when the season was new and the air was fresh and the warm breeze foretold of great things to come when a most serendipitous event changed my life. The early evening air was warm and fertile and the breeze was blowing softly from the south a delicious light wind that made me pause every few minutes just to breathe in and feel a renewed vigor throughout my body. I was planting some arborvitaes along the fence that lines the side of my yard to screen off the traffic on the roadway and the sidewalk and make the yard a bit more private. I had the holes dug and lined with peat and mulch and was struggling to get the batch of new shrubs set in before dark.

As I paused to take in another breath of the fresh spring air, I caught the scent of summer flowers coming my way. I looked up to see where it was coming from and was startled by the most lovely young woman I had ever seen, dressed in a little white athletic shirt and matching running shorts, trotting along the sidewalk, coming my way. Looking down at my dirty jeans with the torn knees and my muddy boots, I realized that I must look a sight, my white t-shirt covered with dirt and sweat, and my hair all matted and stuck to my sweaty brow. I ran a gloved hand across my forehead absentmindedly, surely smudging my face with mud. 

I tried to smile as she approached. She was looking in front of her and couldn't miss my admiring gaze; her light brown hair was tied back behind her head; her dark eyes sparkled; her fair complexion was flushed with the glow of a good run; her firm young breasts bobbed in concert with her trotting pace, secured surely by a sports bra. As she neared me, she smiled.

"Nice evening for a run," I called out, leaning on my shovel.

"Nice evening for yard work too," she replied, her mouth curled into a straight white, toothy smile.

What a pretty girl! I thought to myself as she passed by, the scent of her perfume filling my head with its light rosy fragrance. My eyes followed along as she ran past, noting the bobbing curves of her cute little butt accented by the red trim on her shorts. Ah, springtime! I thought. When a young man's fancy turns to what the girls have been thinking about all winter long!

I watched her for the next minute as she continued along the sidewalk until her swaying ponytail moved out of sight when she turned down the next block. I began to muse as I returned to my planting. What if she runs every night? What time is it? Maybe I have one more reason to be outside around this time. Foolish thoughts, all of them, but since I had lost my wife foolish thoughts seemed to occupy my mind quite frequently. Before long though, the foolish thoughts had propelled me through my planting chore and I soon found myself sitting on a patio chair sipping some White Zinfandel and thinking about what other landscaping was required along that side of the yard. I wondered about what sort of impression I had made on her, all wholesome and fresh scrubbed, as I stood there sweaty and dirty. But then I also thought about possible lines to spring on her and a few snappy comebacks should she get the first word in.

The next evening found me outside, checking on my newly planted shrubs. She didn't pass by and I found myself feeling even more foolish for getting worked up over the passing of a pretty girl. What if that was the only time she ever passes by? I thought. Wednesday found me working late and I didn't get home until nearly dark. Thursday I was home early and out getting the flowerbeds ready for an early planting, but there was no sign of the cute little lady with the long ponytail.

By the time Friday came along, I had gotten rid of any pretensions about the runner. Happenstance, I thought. Just one of those things! So I mixed a tall Manhattan and sat out on the patio for a while thinking about how a bed of roses would look nice along the back fence. It was another gorgeous night, just as Monday had been. Those same fertile hints of spring were in the air. I wandered out to get a better look, bringing my glass along. 

Moving slowly along the back fence sipping my bourbon and vermouth, laying out a mental plan for the roses, that delicious summer flowery scent caught me and brought my sight toward the sidewalk. There she was trotting along just as before, the same rosy glow, the same sweet smile, and the same ponytail. She was wearing a different outfit though, pale yellow, a little snugger at the bust and lower cut, forcing my gaze to drop a few inches to her lovely firm little tits, bouncing more freely than the other evening.

"Hey!" she called out, breathlessly.

"Hey!" I called back, still surprised by seeing her again.

Her smile broadened as she ran past. I thought I saw a wink. Maybe it was a blink from some dust or something. I took a sip of my drink as I watched her move away. Hey!? I thought. Hey!? Is that the best comeback you can make up? Jesus! Well, at least I looked more presentable, still dressed in my casual Friday work clothes. You are such a klutz! I thought. She probably thinks I'm a real dunce! I walked back to the patio and sank down into a chair. At least she came back. Let's see, Monday and Friday. Maybe I would have to make sure I'm in the right place to really introduce myself. That's right, the next time I would introduce myself to the runner and find out her name--if there was a next time.

The next week I found out that there would be a next time. On Monday, I saw her pass by in her white outfit, but was on the wrong side of the yard to do anything more than watch and dream. On Wednesday I saw her coming and was in position to casually lean on the fence to greet her. Since it was cooler, she was in a long-sleeved red sweatshirt and running pants. But she looked terrific. Maybe it was running regularly that kept that healthy rosy glow on her face; maybe it was because she was so young and pretty. Whatever the reason, I was mesmerized.

"How's it going?" I called out.

"Great!" she replied. "How's the garden?"

"Doing fine!" I said.

And she was quickly gone. No name, but there was interaction. At least she thinks I'm out here gardening, not just plotting to meet her. I didn't see her on Thursday, but was ready on Friday. Although I got home late, I mixed my usual cocktail and wandered out to check on the arborvitaes. When I caught wind of that flowery scent, I stood up to see her trotting along. Say something to get her to stop, I thought. Find out her name! She saw me and began to slow down. All right Steven, here's your chance!

"Hi," she called out more breathless than usual.

"Hi, yourself," I replied. "How's your run going?"

"Not too good," she admitted, slowing down to a walk. "Too much to eat at lunch."

"Got to watch those Friday lunches," I said.

As she drew near she stopped, placing her hands on her hips and sucking in some extra air.

"I should know better than to drink at lunch," she confessed. "But it was a birthday party and everyone wanted to split a pitcher."

"Gotta watch out for peer pressure."

"Yeah," she said showing that broad sweet smile.

"By the way, I'm Steven," I said extending my hand over the fence toward her.

"Hi, Steven. I'm Jessie," she said taking my hand in hers for a polite shake.

Her hand was so small compared to mine, with delicate little fingers and nicely manicured nails. The skin was soft as a tissue. I didn't see any rings on either hand.

"You run pretty regularly," I said.

"Yeah. Just like you do your yard work. Once you stop, it's hard to catch up."

The bulky sweatshirt disguised her supple young body and made it easier to maintain eye contact as we stood talking for several minutes. We kept it to small neighborly small talk. She lived in the apartments nearby and ran three times a week. She had moved in over the winter and was fulfilling a New Year's resolution to adopt a healthier lifestyle.

"Well, it shows," I said, trying to come up with a compliment. "You look pretty healthy already."

"Your yard is looking pretty good too," she said in return. "I wish I had a place to do some flower beds and all. But I'll settle for a flowerbox on my balcony."

"Well, anytime you feel like pulling weeds or something, come on by."

"Right!" she said with a laugh. "Well, I should be going."

"See you around, Jessie!"

"See ya!" she said with a smile and a nod and then started off down the sidewalk.

That was only the first of many conversations we would have over the next couple of weeks. She kept to her regular running routine and I kept working on my yard. I'm sure the neighbors began to notice that one side of my yard received more attention than the other. The arborvitaes were the healthiest young shrubs that I had ever set in. The grass and flowerbeds were tended with extra care that only time can provide. And I also cultivated my friendship with Jessie, the runner. We talked about the neighborhood and the weather. Whenever I tried to move the conversation toward more personal ground, she seemed to always bring it back. Maybe she was in a relationship and wasn't interested in more than being a nice neighbor. She was so young; it would probably be better than way.

Spring soon shifted into summer, the days growing longer and my yard more lush. On one Friday, the warmest day of the young year, I was out making my usual inspection, when Jessie came along a little earlier than usual. She was in a skimpy white running outfit that clung to her body quite nicely. As she paused for our evening conversation, she began to do some stretching exercises, leaning forward and turning from side to side, as if to loosen up her back. The sight of her young fit body with the lightweight white outfit clinging to her was driving me nuts. She raised her arms above her head, stretching the fabric tightly over her beautiful little tits, so much so that her rosy nipples showed through her shirt and thin cotton bra.

"Can you believe this weather, today?" I asked.

"I know. I just love this," she said continuing her stretching. "If only my back weren't so stiff. They were running the air conditioning all day and I got a real stiff neck." She reached her hand back behind her neck and tilted her head back and forth a few times as she rubbed herself.

"Well, you look like you could use a masseur."

"Do you know one?" she asked.

"As a matter of fact, I have been told that my hands are wonderful," I bragged, holding up my hands and wiggling my fingers.

She eyed me with a friendly but suspicious look.

"I'll bet they are."

"Why don't you have a seat on the patio and I'll see if I can work the kinks out."

She looked around as if checking out the scene. My patio wasn't real wide open, but it wasn't too private either.

"Sure, why not?"

I lead her around to the gate and out through the yard. As she walked ahead of me toward the patio set, her ponytail swaying, I could barely contain myself while thinking about laying my hands upon her silky smooth skin. She sat in one of the chairs and leaned forward, pulling her ponytail over her shoulder.

"What are we talking here, neck, shoulders, back?" I asked, rubbing my hands together.

"Really just neck and shoulders," she said, running her hands over the base of her neck and out a bit along each shoulder, just out to the edge of her top.

"We can do that," I said holding my hands together in a thankful prayer-like pose for a moment.

When I brought my hands down to touch her neck, she bent her head forward. Her soft flesh was warm and the muscles beneath were stiff. I worked slowly massaging on her neck down to the base. As I moved my hands down onto her shoulders she reached up to spread the straps of her top and bra over toward the edge of her shoulders.

"Oh, you are good!" she said, leaning back into my touch as I worked to loosen up her neck. "Mmm, that feels nice, real nice!"

"Isn't there someone at home to do this?" I asked.

"Like a boyfriend or a roommate?" she replied with a question.

"Whatever."

"There is no boyfriend and my roommate is away for the weekend," she admitted.

I could feel her begin to loosen up and I kept up my gentle pressure working the knots and tenseness out of her muscles. She felt so good to my hands I hoped that her stiffness wouldn't go away just so I could keep on touching her.

"No boyfriend, eh?"

"Not right now," she said, a sad lilt to her voice. "Probably not for a while. I still haven't gotten over my last guy."

"That's too bad," I said trying to sympathize.

"Yeah, well sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't," she said slowly. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Isn't there someone inside who would get suspicious seeing you give me a massage?"

"No," I said sadly. "I lost my wife in a traffic accident almost two years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, also sounding sad. "I didn't mean to ..."

"That's okay. How were you to know? It was hard but I'm over it. Life goes on for everyone."

"Wow, I can't imagine going through that. How long were you married?"

"Ten years."

"Any kids?"

"No, we tried but it never happened but we never did anything about it. We just kept a really neat house and took wild vacations."

"Do you uh, get out much?" she asked.

"No, I'm not a night owl or anything. Kind of a homebody," I answered.

She was really pressing back into my fingers as I worked on her neck and shoulders. She pulled again on her straps, tugging them nearly off her shoulders. I worked my palms on her shoulders, letting my fingers slip over and flirt with her collarbones.

"This feels really good, you know," she said. "Whoever said you had wonderful hands was right. I feel much better now."

Although I didn't want to lift my fingers from her body, I slowed my movements and pulled away from her.

"Can I get you something to drink?" I asked.

"Sure, if you'd like. Water or juice. Whatever you have."

I quickly mixed up a batch of fruit juice, a mix of mango, passion fruit, strawberry and apple juice and brought her a tall glass.

"This is good," she remarked. "What is it?"

I told her.

"Passion fruit, huh?" she said with a laugh. "I'll give you another point for nerve."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've had a few neighbors hit on me during my runs, but I've never had one slip passion fruit into my drink."

"Well, that's all there was in the freezer. I think it was left over from a party or something."

We laughed and sat and talked for a while longer. Jessie slumped back into the cushion of the chair, plainly comfortable and clearly interested. I tried hard not to stare at her trim young body, barely covered by her skimpy running togs, but was sure my eyes gave me away. She must have seen how I checked out her shapely legs, her pussy lurking in the shadows of her running shorts, her narrow trim waist, and the wonderful curves of her breasts. But more than the obvious attraction I felt toward her, it was nice to have someone to talk to if even for a pleasant few minutes. But when she reached the bottom of the glass, she was ready to leave.

"See you around," I said, holding the gate open for her.

"See ya!" she called out with her little finger wave.

I had to smile as I watched her run off, tilting her head back and forth, her ponytail swaying in time with her pace. What a pretty girl! I thought again. I found my drink and toasted to beautiful young women wherever they may be and the fools who yearn after them.

The following Wednesday was another hot one and since I had to work late as usual I thought I had missed her. I was dressed in an old pair of cutoffs and a t-shirt puttering around the garage when she came by and trotted up to greet me.

"Hey!" she called out.

"Hey!" I replied, surprised to see her at this hour. "Running late?"

"Trying to beat the heat," she said, not quite out of breath as she ran in place. "Got all your yard work done?"

"Didn't have much time tonight, so I figured I'd mess around out here."

"Do you ever go running?" she asked. The look on her face made it seem like she was actually flirting with me--I could never tell, in fact, had never been able to tell the difference.

"Not since I blew my knee out in college," I said pointing to the scar on my right knee from an old football injury. "The best I can do is walk real fast."

"Oh, well. I thought you might want to run with me sometime, but that's okay," she said looking kind of disappointed. 

"Sorry, Doctor's orders," I said regretfully.

"How about roller blading?" she asked, looking hopeful.

"Actually, I've tried it," I replied. "A while back a bunch of us from work went to the Dome and rented them. We had a mess of fun."

"Why don't you get a pair and come with me this weekend. I like to go to Kensington Metropark every Saturday. They have some real nice paths, not too hilly."

"That sounds like fun," I said, noting how her face had brightened up.

"Why don't I come by around 10 o'clock Saturday and pick you up?"

"Sure! That'll be fun."

So she would be the first one to ask the other out. I guess it is a different world nowadays. She filled me in on where to get a pair of blades and what to get and how much to spend. As I watched her trot off, watching again the sway of her ponytail, I couldn't help but shake my head and wonder where this was leading. No need to over-think this, Steven, I thought to myself. Let's just sit back and go along for the ride.

I picked up a decent pair of blades the next day and looked forward to the weekend. She arrived right on time to pick me up in her little red Saturn couple. As we drove out into the country, I couldn't help but notice how tanned her shapely legs were becoming. She was wearing a bulky, white, zippered sweatshirt with a brief pair of running shorts and tennis shoes. It was hard to tell what she had on underneath, not that it mattered, but I couldn't help but notice the way she handled the stick shift, always keeping her hand on the stick, gently stroking the knob. I had to look out the window to find something else to think about and keep from getting a hard-on.

"So tell me, Jessie," I asked. "What's your deal?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you happen to come into my life right now?"

"Why not? We're both attractive young people."

"I'm not that young, you know."

"Well how old are you?" she asked.

"Let's see. You're what, twenty-two, twenty-three?"

"Twenty-five," she admitted.

"Okay, you look young for your age. But, you know that makes me almost twice your age."

"Get out of here!"

"I'll be forty-eight on my next birthday."

"No way. I pegged you for early thirties at the most."

"You want to see proof?"

She just laughed and waved off my offer.

"So does that change your opinion of me?" I asked.

"No, I can accept the fact that you're older than me. Jeez, I just can't believe you're that old. I mean, you don't look it or act it."


Letting Go



Mary Thomas frowned at her little sister's wedding picture displayed on her computer monitor. Leslie was beautiful as expected and looked deliriously happy but it didn't take much for her to be happy, just something shiny and lots of attention. Mary chuckled to herself at the thought. "Holy Mother, please don't let me fall in love with a woman that acts like my sister," she said with a grin and shook her head. 

Mary turned off her computer and rose from her chair. She had to be at the tattoo shop in a little over an hour so she got in the shower. Thirty minutes later, she was dressed and ready. Her tight black leather clothes, black makeup, and black and purple hair were a clear message that she could take care of herself. The dark tribal lines and sharp angles tattooed on her upper arms and the snake tattooed in a coil around her wrist cemented the image. She rarely showed her softer side but those few who knew her well knew of the tiny black rose nestled over her heart.

Mary headed for the door. As she reached for the keys to her Harley, the phone on the table rang. She impatiently looked at her watch as she answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Mary?"

The small voice struck a chord of recognition so deep that she had to brace herself against the side table. It just couldn't be her.

"Christa?" Mary felt the hair rise on the back of her neck. Twelve years of pain welled up inside her and silent tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Mary, I know you're mad at me but I'm so afraid. What if they find out? It's a sin Mary, a sin against God. I'm not supposed to love you but I can't help it. He'll kill me but I don't care. I have to see you..." The voice ended with a tape recorder click; a phone message that haunted her dreams.

Anger overcame the pain. "Who are you, you sick fuck!" she shouted into the receiver but the line went dead. She slammed the receiver into its cradle then ripped it from the wall and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a crash and fell to the floor. 

****

He smirked as he heard the sounds of Mary's anger through the door. He moved away from the porch and made his way into the large stand of trees beside her house where he had hidden his car. "Soon, Christa," he whispered, "Soon she will be cleansed and you can finally forgive me. Lord, give me the strength to right the wrong I have done to my daughter. Help me to do your work." He settled in to watch her front door and wait for her to leave.

****

Mary stared at the phone on the floor for a moment as a few angry tears left black streaks down her cheeks. She gave them a swipe and retrieved the phone. She set it back on the table and tried to plug it in but there was only a frayed wire where the connector should have been. "Perfect," she muttered and pulled her cell out of her pocket. She dialed the number to Fantasy Inkscapes. Starr answered the phone in her soft low voice that always reminded Mary of warm honey. She told Starr that she was running late but would be there soon. Starr responded with concern as expected but Mary brushed her off. She was in no mood to make nice. She hung up the receiver and made her way to the bathroom to repair the makeup she had destroyed. A quick glance in the mirror was all it took for her to wash her face and try again. She set to work and was soon on her way.

Having little regard for speed laws, she arrived at the shop only fifteen minutes late for her first appointment. She dumped her stuff in her office and walked to the front of the shop. Wes was hard at work. He was a big guy with long blonde hair, and a full beard. A dragon wound its way from his wrist to his shoulder with its wings resting on his left shoulder blade and peck. A demon tail wound around his right wrist and the demon gradually morphed into an angel as it worked its way to his shoulder. Its angel wings mirrored the dragon's across his chest and back. Mary had spent hours perfecting the intricate detail of their lines. His size and his biker persona were intimidating but he was just a big teddy bear at heart. He was the closest thing Mary had to a friend. He looked up at her and smiled as she came in. She responded with a half-smile and looked away. 

Mick was at the front desk going over some artwork with a young attractive woman. He loved to flirt with the ladies and it seemed that today was no different. As far as Mary was concerned, he could flirt all he wanted. His sexy Aussie accent sold more tattoos than anything else did.

Starr came out of the back room with a cup of coffee that she put on the counter at Mary's station. Mary couldn't help but notice the soft inviting curves beneath her ultra mini skirt and open back tank top. She had a Chinese blue dragon tattooed on her back. Its head rested on her shoulder and its tail dipped under her skirt, down her right leg and wrapped around her ankle. Mary would object to her revealing clothing, but covering that gorgeous piece of art would be a crime. 

Starr walked up to Mary unaware of her silent appraisal. "Hi. Your station is all ready for you and so is your client," she said. The scent of jasmine washed over Mary and she had a sudden urge to run her fingers through Starr's long dark auburn hair to see if it was as soft as it looked. She ran her fingers through her own hair to distract herself. 

"Thanks," she said and headed for her client. She soon lost herself in her work as customers came and went but she could not shake what happened. Her employees noticed the difference in her. She felt their eyes as they watched her and more than once she caught Starr looking at her with concern.

Later that afternoon Mary headed to the back room to grab a bite to eat, but just outside the break room door she overheard Mick say, "You should just tell her."

"I can't tell her. Mary's not in love with me. I'd feel so stupid," Starr said with a sigh. Mary was surprised by what she'd heard but it sent a thrill up her spine.

"How can you know if you don't tell her?" Mick asked. "One of these days you're going to have to suck it up and tell her or get on with your life, mate. You can't keep moping around forever."

Mary felt a sharp pang of guilt at her reaction to Starr's words. Angry with herself, she yanked the door open and strode to the fridge. Mick and Starr watched in silence as she grabbed a yogurt. She turned to Starr. "I'm leaving. Cancel my appointments for the rest of the day," she said with a curt nod and walked out the back door. 

As soon as the door closed behind her, she regretted her actions. She stalked over to her bike and remembered that she'd left her jacket and her helmet in her office. She was debating whether she should just ignore the cold and face a ticket or go back inside to get them when the shop door opened. 

She looked over her shoulder to see Starr carrying them out to her. The butterflies in her stomach took wing as she turned and waited. Had she never noticed how beautiful Starr was before or had she not allowed herself to acknowledge it? Her face was adorable with her soft brown eyes, button nose, and full lips. It didn't help that she had a body most Playboy Bunnies would die for. Mary let out a breath that she didn't realize she had been holding as Starr held her things out to her.

"You forgot these. I thought you might get cold without them," Starr stared at her feet and shivered though she wore a coat. Mary wanted to pull her into her arms and warm her.

Ignoring the urge, Mary's conscience got the better of her and she said, "Thank you." She paused for a moment then said, "I'm sorry I snapped at you like that. I'm just not myself today." She set her helmet on the seat of her Harley and put on her jacket. 

"Is everything ok? We're all worried about you." Soulful brown eyes sought her ice-blue ones and seemed to look through her. She looked away uncomfortable with the emotion she saw there.

"I'll be fine. I just have some things on my mind. Look, I gotta go. See you tomorrow," Mary put on her helmet, got on her bike, and started the engine. As soon as it roared to life she was gone, Starr behind her but not forgotten.

****

He watched from his vantage point across the street with a scowl on his face. She was up to her old tricks again. A blind man could see how she had bewitched the poor little girl. Her evil must be stopped. Soon, the time would be right to teach her the true way. Soon, he would save the little girl as he couldn't save Christa. He smiled and fingered his rosary as he pulled into traffic and followed, careful to remain unnoticed.

****

It started to rain as she pulled into her driveway so she put her bike in the garage and went inside. She went into her bathroom and washed her face then changed into sweats and a hoodie. She walked through her bedroom, picked up a lap blanket and went out to watch the rain.

She curled up on the porch swing with her knees tucked under her chin and the blanket wrapped around her shoulders as she watched the rain soak the ground and the sky slowly darken as night set in. Christa came unbidden to her mind when she tried to analyze the feelings that Starr had invoked in her this afternoon. How could she be thinking about another woman? Christa had died for their love. How could she turn her back on it so easily? She knew that Christa would want her to be happy but how could she?

Her thoughts drifted back twelve years to the day and she remembered rushing to Christa's house when she'd heard the sirens. Somehow, she'd known that Christa's fear of her father had been justified. She had to know she was okay but what she found was Christa's father in the back of a squad car and Christa in a body bag. There was no rushing her to the hospital. There was no need. He'd beaten the life from her. She was gone before the ambulance ever got there.

Something inside Mary had snapped that day. She ran to the squad car and pounded her fists on the glass cursing him at the top of her lungs. She screamed her hatred at him, "You killed her! I hate you! I'll kill you!" She fought to get to him even as the officers carried her away.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts then she closed her eyes and whispered, "Christa. You know I love you and I always will but I need to move on with my life. Can you ever forgive me?" She paused and listened not really knowing what she was listening for. Nothing came but the sound of the rain and the rumbling of thunder joined quickly by the rumble of her stomach. She sighed and almost chuckled then went inside to make dinner. 

She laid the blanket on her bed and moved into the hall. She made her way into the living room and saw the last person she ever expected to see. It startled a momentary scream from her but then the old hatred welled up, "What are you doing here you son of a bitch? Her life wasn't enough. Now you're here to torment me? It was you who called this morning wasn't it?" she shouted. Her fists clenched so tightly that her nails drew blood from her palms.

Timothy Webber sat calmly in her favorite chair fingering his rosary and whispering his Aves under his breath. There was gray at his temples now and a few more lines around his mouth but there was no mistaking him. He looked up at her, "You know it was your name that finally made me realize what God wanted me to do. He wants me to save you. Christa was a good girl. The demon in you destroyed her," he said. There was something not quite right about his eyes.

"No, you destroyed her. She was your daughter. How could you do that to her?" she shouted. 

Timothy made the sign of the cross and kissed his rosary. "I was surprised when they believed the insanity plea my lawyer dreamed up for me. I spent the next six years on my knees thanking God for his intervention before He revealed His plan to me. He helped me convince the doctors that I was 'cured' so that they would let me out of the hospital. Six more were spent gaining their trust so that they would let me live on my own. I had to be on my own to do His work." 

Lightning flashed and thunder soon followed. Timothy smiled and rose from the chair. He was taller than she remembered. He moved to tower over her. She took a step back as she looked up at him. "The Almighty wants me to right the wrong. I must cleanse this world of your evil but most importantly, I must cleanse you." His eyes darkened. "He wants me to save you before you corrupt that poor little girl at your shop like you did my Christa," He said and lunged for her.

Mary tried to dodge him but he grabbed her by the hair and hooked her behind the knee, tripping her. Her scalp burned as he followed her to the floor and wrapped his rosary around her throat. Her eyes widened in panic as he squeezed it tight with one hand and wrestled her pants off with the other. She clawed at the rosary and then at his face drawing lines of blood down his cheek. He backhanded her and split her lip. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth. "So, demons can bleed," he said. Her stomach lurched as he licked the blood from her lip. Her disgust renewed her resolve and she fought him desperately as he opened his fly. He prayed fervently as he pushed himself between her thighs. His hand that held the rosary tightened and her face turned blue as he shouted, "Oh Lord, cleanse this woman of her evil. Help me to teach her the true way."

Mary felt her strength leaving her and her mind became foggy as she fought for breath. Then she heard the smallest of whispers, "I won't let him win, Mary." The rosary around her neck snapped and she sucked in her breath. Fireworks went off behind her eyes as the blood rushed back into her aching head but with it came a surge of energy and strength. She threw up her knee to dislodge him just in time to keep him from sinking himself inside her and shoved against him with everything she had. He fell back far enough for her to deliver a clear kick to his groin. He bellowed with pain and curled into a fetal position.

Mary rolled onto her hands and knees and tried to stand. He grabbed her ankle and pulled her off her feet. She kicked him hard in the face with her other foot and he released her with a grunt. She turned and scrambled for the door. She knew that she had to reach the gun she kept there. Just as she reached it, she felt him grab hold of her ankle, but she'd made it far enough. She reached behind the table and gripped the handle of her small pistol. Her father's voice echoed in her mind as she remembered not to close her eyes when she squeezed the trigger. 

Time stopped and the sounds of the storm faded. Timothy's eyes widened in surprise as a dot of red appeared on his forehead. His jaw went slack as he fell forward. The struggle had only lasted a few minutes but felt like an eternity. The gun fell from her hands as the tears fell from her eyes. The phone on the table beside her began to ring though she didn't recognize it for what it was at first. She stared at it for a moment then answered it wondering if the lack of oxygen had damaged her brain.

"Hello?" she rasped. Her throat ached where the rosary had dug into her neck. For a moment, there was silence on the line then she heard Christa say, "I love you, Mary. Goodbye." 

She felt the unmistakable pressure of lips pressed into hers for a moment. She put her fingers to her lips and whispered, "Goodbye, Christa."



Letting Go



It's been six months since we began dating, meeting here and there whenever possible. Between His schedule and my own hectic hours, the progression of our relationship has been slow despite the familiarity we've achieved through regular conversation. Daily I've become more and more His until finally we've reached this point. 

Looking down at the letter clutched in my hand again, it states simply:

Pet,

On your kitchen table you will find what you will wear for me tonight. Prepare well for me, by the time you should be ready there will be a car waiting for you. Do not leave me waiting.

D.

Again a shiver of anticipation courses through my frame, but I'd made my decision. Months ago in fact, I just hadn't had the opportunity. Now climbing out of the car, I readjust the short hem of the black dress He'd sent. The flimsy material came to maybe three or four inches above my knee, much shorter than what I'm accustomed to wearing. My hair is half up, ringlets carefully curled down my spine to tickle the full curve of my hips. From my purse I retrieve a cigarette, using the crutch to sooth my nerves as I look around the unfamiliar surroundings. 

I've been brought to a decent hotel, perhaps one of the Hilton line. I see no other people in the parking lot and then I see Him come from within the building. In one hand He holds a single rose, the other is casually in the pocket of His pants. Sporting a pair of Dickies in black and a black turtleneck that enhances the allure of His broad shoulders, my eyes drink in the sight of Him hungrily. 

He wraps the arm holding the rose around me and pulls me into His embrace, brushing a kiss to my upturned face after glancing at my cigarette which causes me in turn to toss it away before its even a quarter finished.

"You look perfect, Mia" He says.

I beam at the name He'd chosen for me months ago upon learning it was the Spanish word for mine as well as a popular name.

"Thank you, Daddy." I respond in kind.

When we'd discussed titles months ago, this just seemed to work best for us. His hand brushes my throat possessively while I look up at Him. Unreadable emotion momentarily playing across His handsome features before it's back under his impeccable control. He then gives me the rose and guides me inside where we go to the bar. 

Settling me onto a high bar stool, I blush as my hem rises to reveal the tops of my thigh high stockings, when I go to lower the material His hand on the tips of my hair causes me to pause then leave the hem exactly where it is. He drops a kiss to the crown of my head in approval and one of His large hands comes to rest on my thigh. 

He places the order for our drinks, the hand in His pocket finally emerging to play over my soft curves possessively. We each enjoy a few rounds chatting idly while His roaming hands and the drinks warm me up. Somehow in the course of the half hour or so that we'd been there my thighs had slightly parted and His thumb was now dragging lazily down the length of my naked slit.

"You came very prepared for me baby, Daddy will reward you well tonight." He murmurs into my ear. 

I moan softly, leaning my frame back into Him. When the bartender makes his way back to us, Daddy pays the tab and sets me back on my feet. Guiding me to the room, we barely make it in before He presses me to the closest wall and crushes His lips to mine. The hard muscular planes of His form press demandingly to the softer, lush curves of mine and I simply melt into Him happily. His hand is at my throat again, His thumb rubbing against the column in small circles that sends shivers of desire coursing down my spine.

His freehand roams down to the juncture of my thighs again, His thumb rubbing my dewy cunt.

"You've kept your word and not given my pussy any unapproved attention right, Mia?" He whispers to me.

A smile curves my full lips, soon enough He'll see for Himself but I nod slightly in response. 

His thumb parts my folds and when He presses it to my tight core I moan and grind my hips to Him. His forearm comes to rest above my head and He leans in, resting His forehead there, pushing my body back as He looks down to me while His thumb fucks my tight pussy. 

I can feel His excitement pressed to my hip, much larger than the thumb currently stretching my tightness while my body suckles Him with lovely wet greeting. When He goes to remove His thumb and presses His long middle finger to my passage I writhe.

"Daddy please... just fuck me... we can play all night, just dig my back out now please." I beg hotly.

Though He thinks for a moment, obviously wanting to continue exploring me, He lifts me into His arms and proceeds to carry me to the bed. Meanwhile I cling to Him, arms around His neck and my legs tight around His waist. With my skirt hiked up over my hips now He presses me down into the soft mattress. Pulling the top of the dress down He licks one of my exposed nipples as He reaches down to free His cock from the now confining pants. 

Pearls of precum, oozing from the tip of His shaft is smeared onto my honey coated labia as He rubs Himself against my slit. He feels me tense beneath Him, not knowing why, so He nuzzles my neck and sucks softly. When He feels me relax again He presses the tip to my entrance and before I can tense up again He presses the head inside of me. Groaning in acute pleasure I spread my thigh wider for His possession, that causes Him to sink further in. As if in a trance He pushes all the way in before I get the chance to deliver the warning I'd meant to and as He breaks past my hymen I scream in pain and pleasure, biting His shoulder to stifle my cry. When He's seated fully inside of me, he breathes raggedly, holding Himself still.

"Rosa," He speaks my given name now. "why didn't you tell me baby?"

Slowly getting over the pain, by no means accustomed to the feel of His incredible girth, I half moan my answer.

"Daddy please... just make it feel good again... please." I whimper.

Brushing my face with kisses and massaging my tense body, He murmurs over my stupidity for not telling Him so He could have prepared me better. Slowly He inches out of me then back in. Twisting and rolling His hips every so often Daddy begins to reshape me until I'm whimpering and panting my pleasure beneath Him. I open my legs wider now, almost spread in a split and He slowly increases His tempo.

"That's it baby, open up so I can take what's mine." He growls into my ear.

Grinding into me and rocking against my cervix, I feel as though He's brushing into my womb but it feels delicious. His tempo is steadily increasing until He's sliding in and out of me smoothly, twisting His hips into my welcoming depths every so often. Finally He lifts my knees up, crushing them to my chest as He pounds away sending me into subspace as my body shudders around Him and orgasms.

To Be Continued

( That is if He & you all like it lol.)



Letting Go



I had the laptop set up on the coffee table in the living room, watching a little porn. That always made me feel like a loser, especially since my wife had pretty much given up on sex. So, a couple times a week, I'd fire up some porn and beat off. 

I'm decent looking, 45 now, but I stay in shape -- 6', 185. My cock was maybe a shade on the small side -- six inches or so, just average thickness. But my wife said I was too much of a pussy, that I didn't really take charge in the bedroom, that she needed a real man and that she just couldn't stand to fuck me anymore. She never said anything, and I couldn't prove anything, but I'm pretty sure she'd found some "real men" somewhere to take care of her needs, leaving me to take care of my own.

I was close to coming when the doorbell rang. Oh shit, that's right. Ken, our neighbor from up the street, was supposed to stop by today and take a look at the downstairs bathroom we were thinking of rehabbing. He was good at that kind of shit and, of course, I was not. Ken was probably the sort of real man that my wife dreamed about -- a couple years younger than man, a couple inches taller, much thicker through the chest and shoulders. I stuffed my cock back in my pants a little embarrassed and raced to answer the door -- the bell was now ringing a third time.

"Hey, Frank," he said. "Thought maybe you'd forgot. You OK? You look a little flustered?"

I shook my head. "Just busy with some work stuff."

He shrugged and headed for the living room -- you had to go through there to get to the bathroom. And I remembered the porn that was running on the computer.

I started to push around him "Just let me shutdown the comput . . ."

Bill stopped, smiling. "Somebody's being a naughty boy. When the cat's away, eh?"

I could feel myself blushing. Bill laughed.

"Dude, relax. Everybody likes a little porn. Let's see what we got here." And he sat down on the couch.

I sat down, too, not sure what to say. The flick I was watching was a threesome -- a couple of studs were double ending a girl.

"I love this kind of shit," Bill said, settling back on the couch. He started rubbing his cock over the top of his jeans. 

"Yeah," I said, not sure what else to do.

Then Bill really freaked me out. He opened his pants, took out his cock and started stroking it.

"What are you doing?" I said.

"Beating off," he answered. "That's the whole point with porn, isn't it? Relax man, I know that's what you must have been doing when I showed up. Join me."

I didn't at first, still shaken up at being discovered watching porn, and also a little intimidated by Bill's dick. It wasn't fully hard yet, and it was already at least eight inches long and much thicker than mine.

"C'mon man," Bill said. 

Finally, I took out my cock, which had gone completely limp. I started stroking, my cock slowly coming back to life. I tried to keep my eyes on the screen, but they kept going back to Bill's cock.

And to my dirty little secret. Not that my wife wouldn't fuck me anymore, or that she was probably fucking half the guys I knew, hell, probably had fucked Bill for all I know -- not that dirty little secret -- but to my fantasies. All my life, I've had gay fantasies. I've never acted on them -- never so much as touched another man's cock. But ever since I can remember, I've had these daydreams where some guy makes me touch him, suck him, makes me let him fuck my ass. Probably that's the vibe my wife picked up on, why she thought I was such a wimp. Because I didn't want to be fucking her. I wanted someone to be fucking me. 

I got lost a little in my thoughts, I guess, and must have stopped sneaking peeks at Bill's cock. He caught be staring at it.

"Checking me out, huh?" He was fully hard now, at least nine inches, his mushroom head a little reddened at this point. "Don't feel too bad, man. Your dick is average. I'm just, well, I'm just hung is all." 

I tried to think of something to say, but couldn't think of anything.

Suddenly, Bill's face changed a little, a different look. He reached over, grabbed my right hand, and pulled it to his dick, wrapping my fingers around his shaft.

"What are you doing?" I said. I tried to pull my hand away, but Bill just held it there.

"The way you were staring at it, you didn't just want to look. You needed to know how much more of a man I am. So go ahead, stroke this horse meat for me so you'll know." He forced my hand up and down his shaft with his own, making me beat him off. With my left hand, I was beating my own dick, with my right, he was making me beat his. 

"That's right," he said. "Get a good rhythm going." He guided my hand, showing me the speed he wanted. He'd loosened the pressure on my hand now. I could have pulled it away if I wanted. But I didn't.

Then he let go of my hand. "Just keep that up," he said. "You're doing great." He sat back against the couch, spreading his arms along the back of the sofa while I beat him off and he watched the movie.

Then I felt his left hand rest on the back of my neck, just sort of kneading it. "Yeah, man," he said, "that feel great." His hand pushed a little, pulling my head toward him and down toward his cock.

"What are you going?" I gasped.

He didn't answer, he just kept pushing on my neck. My head was halfway down to his cock. I didn't know what to do. Fantasies were one thing, but I wasn't gay. I WASN'T GAY! That's why I'd never . . . 

He pushed again, my mouth now maybe six inches from his cock, the head of it huge that close to my face, watching my own hand moving up and down the shaft like it belonged to someone else. Of course he was still pushing. If I didn't want this, why was my hand still on his meat? Still stroking it? If I did want this, why wasn't my mouth already wrapped around his cock? 

I didn't know what to do, what I wanted. And he pushed again. Now, the head of his penis was pressed firmly against my lips, his left hand on the back of my head, holding it in place. He wrapped his right hand around mine again, guiding it up and down his shaft, but also rubbing his cock back and forth across my lips, the hand behind my head pushing harder as I clenched my lips shut. I wanted to open my mouth. I couldn't open my mouth. I was frozen between fear and desire.

He moved the head of his cock to the exact middle of my mouth. "Hold that there," he told me, and I did, with my own hand. He pressed harder still on the back of my head, the pressure almost bruising my lips as his cockhead forced them against my teeth. Then, with the hand he had released from his cock, he pinched my nose shut, cutting off my air.

I felt my own cock swell even larger in my own left hand as I continued to stroke myself, even as I held his cock against my own lips. I had not used either of my own hands to fight against any of this, only to serve him and my own desire. And I understood. My choices were no longer my own because I did not want them to be. They were his because I was not even man enough to surrender on my own. I needed to be taken.

I held out as long as I could, trying to force some air in through my nose, but it was pinched completely shut. Finally, I opened my lips wide, both his cock and the oxygen I desperately needed filling my mouth. I gasped a few breaths, and he continued to push, his cock moving over my lips, past my teeth, sliding down the length of my tongue, lodging firmly against the back of my throat, my hand still stroking the remainder of his cock outside my mouth, and furiously stroking my own. 

He released my nose, holding my head in both hands, sliding it up and down his cock while I stroked both him and myself. 

"That's a good little bitch," he said finally. "That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

I tried to say yes, but the sound that came out around his cock was only a mumble.

"I'm going to stand up now," he said. "And you are going to get on your knees so I can fuck your face properly."

He stood, me actually hanging on to his cock for a moment, holding it in my mouth so it wouldn't get out, not wanting to break contact with it for even a second. I dropped to my knees as quickly as I could, keeping my mouth open. He grabbed my head in both hands again and rammed his cock into my mouth, the end of it wedged against the entrance to my throat, its girth filling my mouth entirely.

"You're going to have to do better than that," he said, increasing the pressure. 

I wanted to. I wanted to take it all. I tried desperately to take more, opening my mouth wider, changing the angle of my head, until finally, he was able to force the head of his cock into my throat and I could feel his pubic hair against my nose, his sack and balls pressed against my chin. I could not breathe, but it did not matter. If he wanted his cock in my throat until I passed out, I would accept it. I went limp, my hands down, my mouth open, bent completely to his will.

He pulled almost all the way out of my mouth. I sucked in a breath. He rammed his cock back in, it stuck for a moment at the back of my mouth, but then forced its way back into my throat. Pulling out, pushing back in, pulling out, pushing back in, my throat completely open now, like a vagina, accepting the repeated invasion. Saliva and pre-cum spilled out of my mouth, dripping off my chin on my shirt. I didn't care. 

Then he pulled all the way out of my mouth.

"Stand up," he said. I did.

"Move to the end of the couch," he said.

I did.

"Drop your pants," he said.

My cock was already out of my fly. I undid my belt and the snap of my jeans and pulled them and my boxers down to my ankles.

"Bend over the arm of the coach," he said.

I did. My face was buried in the seat cushions, my ass in the air.

"Reach behind you with both hands and spread your cheeks," he said.

I did, exposing my hole to him.

From the corner of my eye, I could see him grab the tube of KY Jelly I had been using to lube my cock while I beat off before he had arrived. I felt him smear some on my asshole, work some inside me with his fingers, heard him smearing some on his cock. 

"I don't have a condom," he said. "But I'm clean."

"OK," I said. 

"This is going to hurt," he said.

"Good," I answered without thinking, almost without my own volition, as though someone else was answering for me.

I felt his the head of his prick press against my hole, felt the hole stretch, felt his head pop through the ring of muscle, felt a burning, tearing pain as he leaned in to me, pushing his cock further and further into my bowels. With each fraction of an inch it penetrated, I would have sworn it could go no further, but it speared into to me, deeper and deeper, the burning pain subsiding a little, a sense of pressure building. Finally, I felt his hips pressed against my buttocks as he had pushed his cock into me as far as it could reach. 

For a moment, he just held that position, pushing as hard against me as he could, making sure the tip of his cock was wedged as deeply as it could be. Then I felt his hands on my hips, holding them tight and pushing me down hard against the arm of the sofa as he slowly pulled back. I relaxed my knees, allowing the coach to hold my weight, surrendering my ability to resist. He pulled back until only the head of his cock was still inside me then, all at once and with all his weight, rammed his cock back in as deep as it could go. There was some of the tearing and burning from the first penetration, but not as bad. He pulled back again, rammed in again. Less burning, less pain. He did this again and again, each time the force of his body slamming me into the coach, and involuntary "OOPMH!" escaping my lips each time.

The speed and intensity of the thrusts increased, the flesh of his flanks slapping against my ass, sometimes too the flesh of his hands slapping my ass checks as well. 

As the pace approached a crescendo, he pulled out completely. "Back on your knees, bitch," he ordered.

I spun around, dropping to my knees, my mouth gaping open. He grabbed my head again, ramming his cock back into my mouth, back down my throat, pumping hard, but only in strokes of an inch or two, so that the head of his cock remained in my throat. I felt his scrotum tighten against my chin, felt his shaft quiver, felt his cum pulse into my throat, flowing down into my gut. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my wife standing in the door to the living room. She was wearing a raincoat, but it was open. She was naked beneath it, except for a strap-on rig from which hung a black plastic cock even larger than Bill's. She was stroking it like she was a man.

Bill finished cumming. He pulled out, stroking the last few drops of cum from his cock into my open mouth.

"How did it go?" my wife asked.

"About like we figured," he said. "Your turn." 



Letting Go



"Thank you, I guess."

We arrived soon at the park and quickly got laced up and onto the trail. She skated quite gracefully, as if she had done so all her life. I was able to keep up with her pretty well and soon we were side by side on the trail that circled around the lake. She began to play with me, speeding up ahead and then waiting for me to catch her. We collided a couple of times, and once she acted as though she was going to fall, and let me catch her in my arms. She looked up at me with those lively dark eyes as we stood together and I realized how good it felt to have my arms around her. As my eyes lowered, I became aware that her sweatshirt had pulled open to reveal a little black bikini top barely holding her firm little breasts in place.

"So you're not naked under this after all," I cracked.

"Had you going, eh?" she said looking down as well. "I always wear a swim suit when I come out here. Sometimes it gets hot enough to take a dip."

"Well, it's maybe too chilly for a swim today, but can we sit for a minute and rest?" I asked.

She pointed to a park bench just further down the trail and we rolled over to it.

"So, Jessie, tell me," I said stretching my legs out. "Where did you come from?"

"Not too much to tell," she began. She fiddled with the zipper on her sweatshirt, pulling it up and down as she spoke. "I was born and raised up north, an only child. Moved down here with my boyfriend for a few years, only to find out what an asshole he was. Got myself a job and moved out. And here I am. What about you?"

"Pretty boring, really. Grew up around here. Went to U of M. Been working as an engineer for most of my life. Got married late in life, but it was worth it at least up until the accident. Now I'm single again and don't know where to begin."

"Doing the hermit thing, huh?"

"Yeah, you could say that. I just haven't known what to do with myself. A few months after my wife died, my friends and some people at work all seemed to know a woman who would be 'perfect' for me. But nothing ever really worked out. So, I got used to the fact that my work and my house were my life and have just been making the best of it."

I looked over at her closely. Short little strands of her hair had slipped out from the skrunchy that held her ponytail together. They caught the sunlight and formed a halo around her head. She turned to look back at me with those dazzling dark eyes.

"But then you came along," I said. "And now there hasn't been a day that goes by without my thinking about you, when I'm going to see you again, what I'm going to say, what I can do to get your attention."

"You already have my attention," she said. "I've had my eye on you ever since my first run last spring. And then when I said hello the first time you looked so adorable, all sweaty and dirty, your t-shirt sticking to you, you looked so earthy and sexy, I just knew that I wanted to get to know you better. I haven't regretted it."

"But why me?" I laughed. "I mean here you are, a pretty young woman who has just captivated me for the last few weeks. You're like the type whom I've lusted after many times but who never goes for guys like me. You could probably have any hunky guy out there. Why an old fart like me?"

"Well, it's not like I was looking for anyone. In fact I was really kind of giving up on men to be honest. I've gone out a little, but haven't found the right kind of guy and had sworn off dating. I certainly didn't expect to meet you, but all of a sudden, there you are digging and raking and looking so cute in your sweaty blue jeans and t-shirt. I decided to try to get your attention and see what happens."

"You know I'm too old to start a family."

"And I can't have kids, so what."

"Really?"

"That's why I broke up with my old boyfriend. He wanted to get married and have kids. I can't have kids because of an accident when I was a kid. He couldn't deal with it. He wanted his own children, and I couldn't provide them."

"Whoa, that's too bad."

"Strange isn't it?"

"What?"

"I mean you couldn't have kids with your wife and I can't. Weird!"

I didn't know what to say and apparently neither did she. After a few moments of silence, we took off to skate some more. Farther along, she pointed out a narrower path that leads off from the main trail. There was a spot she wanted to show me. Off to one side of the path there was a hill that overlooked the lake below with a view of the islands in the distance.

"This is my favorite place in the whole park," she said, indicating a stretch of grass where we could sit down and kick back.

"What a pleasant view," I remarked taking in the scenery.

She began slipping off her skates. "I need to give my feet a rest," she remarked.

"I think I'll join you," I said, pulling my new blades off and rubbing my feet. "Not too bad for a new pair. I can't feel any blisters."

"Do you believe in fate, Steven?" she asked.

"Kind of," I replied, stretching my legs out. "What else could have brought us two lost souls here together?"

"Yeah," she said showing that terrific warm smile. "Like it was meant to be."

"And I guess it's what we do about it that we have to figure out."

She leaned toward me, her big dark eyes sparkling, and her face open wide with a look of desire that I hadn't seen in the eyes of a woman in a long time. There was something irresistible in her look of longing desire. Her glistening lips were just a breath away from mine.

"You know," I said, pulling back a bit. "There're significant moments in every relationship, where a 'first' occurs. You know, the first touch, the time you hold hands, the first kiss, the first time you make love. You look forward to it and it's so exciting, but then it's over and you have to move on toward the next 'first.' I'm just feeling so good about you right now that I don't want this feeling to end."

"But there's always that next 'first' you know."

"But are you ready? I mean, if we go to the next step, I'm not sure that I'll ever want to stop progressing."

"Why don't we try it and find out?"

"No promises?"

"No promises."

"No expectations?"

"No expectations."

"No weirdness?"

"Would you just shut up and kiss me?" she said bringing her lips almost up to mine.

I reached around and pulled her gently toward me. Our kiss was electric, like we were charged. I felt her tremble as we pressed our bodies together, our lips and tongues lost in a wet blur of kisses. The closer I pulled her to me, the more eager she became. When we came up for a breath, she brought her hand up to pull off the skrunchy and let her hair flow out onto her shoulders and cascade down onto me.

"You've done that before, haven't you," she said.

"Well, yeah. But I'm sort of out of practice."

"No problem then. We'd better work you back into shape," she said reaching out to kiss me again.

We ended up staying there for another hour, kissing and touching, and rolling around on that wonderful hillside like a couple of teenagers. I ended up on my back with Jessie lying on top of me. The same feeling swept over me as we lay together.

"Does this feel as good to you as it does to me?" I asked.

"It is very good," she said. "You know, you don't have anything to be afraid of with me. I'm just as wary as you are."

"I'm not afraid, Jessie. I just don't want either of us to get hurt. I just want to enjoy this great feeling."

"What feeling is that?" she asked. "Your hand on my butt?"

I was suddenly aware that one arm was wrapped around her shoulders and the other had snaked down her back with the hand cupping the curve of her firm little ass. When I went to pull it away, she pushed it back.

"Actually, I was trying to figure out if your bikini bottom was a thong or a full cut," I cracked, rubbing my palm over the rounded curve of her butt. My fingers could feel a run of elastic that disappeared into the crack of her ass. "Feels like a thong to me."

"I like the feel of your hands on me, Steven," she said snuggling her head onto my chest. "You hold me so gentle and close, it's like you're afraid that if you let me go I'll run away. I like it here. I'm not going anywhere."

We remained there for a while longer, nuzzling and kissing before eventually wending our way back to her car and then to the city. We stopped for supper on the way home and she didn't drop me off until almost dark. I had the craziest dreams that night, none that I could remember the next day, except for the terrific hard-on that I woke up with.

I was late getting home on Monday, when I saw her running alongside the roadway. I honked the horn as I passed by and turned into my driveway. I was climbing out of my truck when she came trotting up my drive.

"Say, neighbor," she said, sounding pout of breath. "Can you spare a drink of water?"

"Sure, come on inside," I said leading the way up the drive and inside the front door.

"Thanks," she said taking the glass of ice water and sipping. She passed the glass over her forehead. "Whoo it's humid today!"

"Summer in the Midwest."

She walked back through the house checking it out. She paused to look at the pictures hanging on the wall. They were mostly shots of my wife and me on some of the trips we had taken.

"Was this your wife?" she asked.

"Yes, that's Maggie," I replied.

"Pretty lady. I can see why you miss her."

She walked back to the living room and looked around.

"Can I say something?" she asked, turning back to face me..

"Well, sure. Anything."

"This may sound kind of dumb, but it feels kind of creepy in here."

"What? What do you mean?" I asked looking around. There weren't any dirty undershorts or dishes lying around. I had cleaned the bathroom just the day before.

"I mean look around this place," she said walking over to one of the end tables. "You've got all these photos and knickknacks of your wife. I could understand a couple, but it's like she's still living here. I mean, if I didn't know she was gone, I'd think you were married and just trying to bullshit me."

"Is it that bad?"

"It's not bad, Steven," she said turning back to me. "I can only try to imagine what it's like to lose someone like that. But don't you feel like making a break with the past? You can't start over until you let go of the past."

"Spoken like someone beyond your years," I said.

"My mother always told me I had an old soul."

I reached out for her and took her in my arms.

"You have a beautiful soul," I whispered.

"And I thought you were just in it for my bod!"

We shared a light romantic kiss.

"I really should be getting back to my run," she said. "I missed yesterday."

"Really? I thought you never missed on Sunday."

"Nah, I ended up sleeping in late," she said with a sly little grin. "Maybe it was from all the masturbation following our little date on Saturday."

"You little minx!" I said.

We began to move back out toward the front porch. She stretched her lithe frame a couple of times and then turned back towards me.

"Look, Steven," she said softly. "All the years you shared, and all the feelings, and all the memories will always be with you. But it's all behind you. Despite what you think, you're not an old man, you've got so much life left. Don't you think it's time to start living it?"

"Maybe you're right. I just don't know that I'm ready to start all over."

"I'm not saying you've got to start anything."

We stood facing each other for a few moments. She looked like she was trying to smile, but her lips trembled. I wanted to reach out and take her in my arms, to hold her and kiss her tenderly.

"I'd better go," she said quickly and hopped down to the walk and ran off. As she turned the corner, she took a quick look back and then was gone, her ponytail swaying side-to-side just as I remembered from the first day I saw her.

I slowly turned and went back inside. The house seemed so much darker than when Jessie had been there. I walked back down the hall toward the kitchen and paused before the set of pictures on the wall. "My God, Maggie," I said out loud to myself. "My God." There was this strange heavy feeling in my heart. I reached up and began to take the pictures down. I left one picture up, one from when we had gone to Hawaii, an enlarged snapshot taken by a forgotten stranger. Our happy sunburned faces were smiling and the lazy ocean filled up the background. As I looked at the picture, I could remember the moment it was taken, the lunch we had just eaten, the happiness I was feeling at the time, and the love I had known with her. And it all began to feel like it was so long ago. 

By the time I was done and had fixed some dinner, the sky was growing dark and I felt the need to get out and breathe some fresh air. I walked down the block and turned the corner, without a clear destination in mind. I turned along another street then another. The evening air was still warm and humid and I soon found myself dripping wet. I was walking fast now and soon was taking steps so fast my gait became a trot, then a run, and I found myself sweating hard and breathing deeply, and my pulse raced madly. I came to the Thompson Creek footbridge and began to cross over but paused halfway, completely out of breath. There was a twinge of pain running from my bum knee up to my hip, but it didn't bother me much. As my breathing settled down, I could hear the sound of the little stream rippling and the crickets chirring. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply and knew what I had to do.

It took me a few days to figure it out completely though. For the next week, even though I kept to what had become my normal routine, I didn't see Jessie at all. Maybe she was avoiding me, maybe I had said or done something, or maybe she saw something in me that turned her off and scared her away. Just when everything seemed to be going so well, I had to do something that freaked her out. For a couple of days, I felt a sadness grow deep inside. I thought over what she had said and took a closer look around the house. Maybe it did look kind of creepy to her and other visitors. I realized that I hadn't changed anything around since Maggie had died. Maybe it was time for some changes. As I started to clean things out and pack them away, it seemed like my sadness was lessening. There were some things that I boxed up for her sister, some things for the Goodwill, and a lot of stuff that would be set out at the curb for trash day.

One day the following week, a particularly hot humid summer day, I stopped at the local market to pick up a couple of things. Just as I started through the checkout lane, a thunderstorm struck. I could see the dark clouds moving over and great cracks of lightning. The cashier checked my few things through quickly and I decided to make a run for it. Clutching my bag of groceries, I ran across the lot through the downpour and was ready to jump into my pickup when something caught my eye. It was Jessie struggling to unload a full cart into the trunk of her Saturn coupe. The cart kept rolling away from her and she was getting absolutely drenched. I threw my bag down inside my truck and hurried over to help her.

"Need a hand?" I shouted through the downpour, grabbing a bag for her.

She looked up with a frightened look that turned into a smile when she saw it was me. She nodded and lifted another bag only to see it rip open and the contents spill out into the lot. I grabbed the last couple of bags and tossed them into the car before helping her chase down the loose groceries and get them inside. 

For a brief moment after she closed the hatch, we stood there in the pouring rain, her hair dripping wet, her crisp white blouse a sodden clinging rag that had turned nearly transparent. The warm rain was beating down harder and had soaked through her blouse and skirt. She looked wonderfully appealing. A friend of mine had always said that if you want to know if your girl is truly beautiful, check her out when she is wet and naked. Well, Jessie was certainly wet and if she wasn't naked, the rain had made her the next best thing. And she looked absolutely beautiful with a sparkle of excitement in her eyes, her crisp white smile flashing, and the curves of her supple young body revealed by the rain.

"Thanks, Steven," she shouted out. "Hey, let me cook you dinner!"

"Your place or mine?"

"Mine!" she shouted.

"Where do you live?"

"Follow me!"

So I did. The rainstorm had begun to taper off by the time we got to her place so I helped her unload her car in just a couple of trips. Finally inside, she closed the door and leaned back against it. I was right in front of her, just a step or two away.

"Damn! I can't believe that rain," she said, running a hand up to brush her wet hair from her face. She looked wondrously beautiful to me.

"Man, it was really coming down," I said shaking the rain from my clothes. "We haven't had a storm like this all year."

"I know. I must look a fright!" she said, pulling at her dripping wet hair.

"I think you look beautiful," I said, hoping my compliment didn't sound too corny.

"Like a drenched rat," she laughed nervously.

I took a step toward her and reached out to touch her face.

"No, like a wonderfully beautiful, gorgeous drenched rat," I began, letting my fingers slip up over her high round cheekbone to her temple.

"Go on!" she said as if to dismiss me, but did not pull away.

"I missed you Jessie," I said. "I thought about what you told me. And I've started to make some changes."

"I know," she said with a smile. "I saw the front of your house on garbage day. I hope you're not doing it for me."

"No," I remarked. "I did it because you were right. It's time for me to move on with my life."

"I'm glad, Steven," she said, her smile deepening from a cute little grin into an expression of her soul, her old, beautiful soul. "I decided to do things a little differently too. I was falling into a rut, a routine, and I just had to go a different way for a while." Her hand darted up to brush at her dripping wet hair.

"Do you realize how truly beautiful you are?" I asked.

"No, but you can keep on talking that way if you want."

"Well, you are beautiful. You are young and pretty and have a terrific figure. Of course with your clothes being sopping wet makes it look almost like you're naked."

Her eyes dropped down to look at herself. Her blouse was clinging to her like a second skin. Her skimpy white bra offered little cover. Her rosy nipples were erect and perfectly outlined mere inches from my longing touch. I lifted her face up and looked into her eyes. I was tempted to step closer but held off, content for the moment to hold her sweet face in my hand and gaze into her sparkling dark eyes.

"Maybe we should get out of these wet things," she suggested softly.

"And into what?" I asked.

"I've got a robe for you while I put your stuff in the dryer."

"And what will you be wearing?"

"What would you like me to wear?" she asked looking up at me with a look of desire.

"Let me get you out of these wet things and I'll let you know."

"You are a brave one, mister," she said, bringing her hands up to my chest, either to touch me or to keep me at a distance.

I brought my hands to her blouse and slowly began to unbutton it. Her hands reached for my shirt to do the same. With our eyes locked together we let our fingers work their way down button by button. Upon reaching the waistband of her skirt, I tugged out the tail of her blouse and peeled off the damp garment. Her body felt as if it was on fire. I could feel her tingle through her fingertips as she pulled off my shirt. I dropped her blouse to the floor and she let my shirt fall on top. 

She ran her hands over my chest and belly down toward my belt. I let my hands slip down to her skirt and around to the button and zipper in back. With my belt open and loose, she undid my slacks and let them fall to my ankles. I pulled her close so that I could undo her skirt and then eased it down her hips so that it could fall to the floor. We both took a step to free our feet and kick off our shoes.




Letting Go



"God, do you realize just how beautiful you are, Jessie!" I said reaching around behind her and pulling her close.

"I think we've already settled what you think of me," she laughed.

Her arms slipped around me in a wonderful embrace. Our damp bodies clung to each other and our faces came close together. I could feel her breath as our lips came close.

"Oh, God, I've been dreaming about this," she cooed softly. "I want you to make love to me."

"Once we do, we can never go back," I warned. "Are you sure?"

"My heart and my mind tell me yes," she said. "And that lump in your drawers tells me that you want to also."

I pulled her close and kissed her full on the lips. For being dripping wet, we caught on fire immediately. I unhooked and peeled away her bra, covering each bit of her newly bare skin with kisses, drawing her nipples into my mouth and teasing them to full erectness with my tongue. I traced the triangles of her tan-lines with my tongue, delighting in the contrast between the pale skin of her breasts and her golden tan. Her breasts were small but had a wonderful shape that perfectly fit my palms and fingers. As I dropped to my knees, my kisses drifted lower toward her navel, then farther still down her belly toward her pussy. Leaning her shoulders back against the door, Jessie thrust her hips toward me. 

I knelt down fully and kissed her pussy through the damp lace of her panties. I pulled the crotch to the side to give my lips and tongue better access to her eager sex. As my tongue began to work on the slit of her pussy, my hands tugged her panties down her thighs and over her stockings. She stepped up to let me pull her panties off and then draped a leg over my shoulder, pushing her pussy up into my face.

Her well-trimmed pussy was as sweet as a cherry cheesecake and I hungrily gobbled her up. I dove my face deeply into the center of the pale triangle outlining her pussy. One hand went around to hold her butt up and a finger probed her tightly puckered ass. With my tongue and lips working on her clit, I worked my fingers into her pussy one at a time. Her hips wiggled and swayed in a circular motion, her voice hoarsely urging me on. Slowly and surely I brought her toward orgasm.

"Oh, Steven! Fuck my pussy with your tongue! Oh, yeah, Baby! Just like that! Do me, Baby! Do me! Do me! Do me!"

I felt her begin to shudder and sway wildly out of control. She grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed her pussy as close to my face as possible. As she came, she threw her head back.

"Oh, God, Steven!" she cried out. "You're making me come! Oh, Baby!"

I withdrew my fingers but kept my kisses on her pussy. As her orgasm subsided, she pushed me down onto my back. As I reclined on the rug in the vestibule, she knelt over me and quickly pulled off my boxers. Taking my erect dick in her hands, she ran her tongue around to moisten her lips. With her mouth open and wet she bent over to kiss the head of my dick and was soon sliding me inside her hot ready mouth. I had nearly forgotten how wonderful it is to feel a woman take my cock into her mouth and she quickly made it stand on end. I felt as if it had gained another inch in length with the delicious way she worked on me.

"Oh, God, Jessie!" I called to her as her head bobbed up and down, the rain dripping from her hair onto my belly. "Suck my cock, Jessie! Just like that! Oh, God! Yes!"

With both hands and her hot wet mouth she worked me up quickly to the point where I was sure that I was going to come.

"Do you like this, Steven?" she said stroking me with a firm grip. She looked down and she stroked me and smiled. "Do you shave, Steven, you nasty boy?"

"You don't mind do you?" I replied, suddenly reminded of what had been a dare that had turned into a habit--I just liked the feeling of being smooth and clean down there.

"Not at all. I've never seen a shaven cock and balls like this, I love it!"

She gently stroked my dick and dropped her head down to slowly lick my balls and then sucked each one into her mouth for a moment. Then she ran her tongue back up the full length of my cock and plunged her mouth back down. With each stroke I could feel her suck me further into her mouth. I could tell she was trying to take me down her throat. She shifted position to give her a better angle and with the next couple of strokes, without so much as a gag, I could feel my cock slip down into her throat as her lips pushed all the way to my belly.

"Oh, God! You give the best head ever!" I cried out. "Oh, my God! Don't stop! God, don't ever stop!"

She fondled my balls with her hand and stroked me with her mouth and other hand. Just when I felt that I would come she raised her head and held my stiff cock with both hands.

"Do you want to fuck me, Steven?" she asked, foolishly.

"Oh, Baby. Do I ever want to fuck you!"

"How badly do you want to fuck me?" she asked, still stroking me firmly, but gently.

"I want to fuck you all night, Jessie!"

"And?" she laughed.

"I want to fuck you on every piece of furniture I can set your ass on!"

"How about right here?"

I grabbed her under the arms and pulled her up. Kissing her full on the mouth, I reached down and grabbed her hips and positioned her hot wet pussy just above my stiff waiting cock. I brought my hips upward as I pressed her hips down and entered her easily. It was as if my cock and her pussy were made for each other (I know, most cocks and pussies are!). She looked at me for a moment, surprised by how quickly and easily I had penetrated her, but in no time, she was wildly riding my cock, bouncing up and down in pleasure.

"Fuck me, you bastard! Fuck me!" she called out as she impaled her sweet pussy on me. "Oh, God it's been so long since I've been fucked!"

For several minutes she rode me, first leaning backward, then collapsing forward. With her wet hair dripping down on me, and her sweet little tits bobbing in my face, I thrust my hips upward, meeting each stroke of hers with my own. As our hot sweaty bellies slapped at each other, our eyes met and I looked deeply into hers, almost as if into her soul. At first she wore a perfect look of concentration, but soon her face broke into a broad smile.

"I love the way you fuck me, Steven!" she said.

"Oh, Baby. I love to hear those words!"

She began to slow down and acted as if she wanted to change positions. She crawled off and rested on her hands and knees on the living room carpet and I climbed up to kneel behind her to enter her pussy from the rear.

"This is my favorite position," she confessed as she rocked back against me.

"I love this too!" I replied.

We ended up fucking our way across the room, up onto the couch. First it was me on top in a missionary position, then she got on top with her back to me so that I could see her beautiful firm little ass bounce up and down on my cock. Finally, out of breath, she hoarsely called to me, "I need something to drink."

We got up from the couch and I followed her into the kitchen, where the groceries were still waiting to be put away.

"Oh, my God! I forgot all about these," she said.

Quickly I helped her put the cold and frozen stuff away. "The rest can wait," I said.

She grabbed a bottle of water from a bag and uncapped it to take a sip. Pushing the rest of the bags to the side, I grabbed her by the hips and boosted her onto the counter, spreading her legs apart so that I could see her hot pink pussy. It was at just the right height for me to enter her. I rubbed the head of my cock back and forth on the slippery lips of her pussy, being sure to lightly rub her clit. Her head rolled back.

"Oh, for Chrissakes! Quit teasing me! Stuff it in already!" she called out, setting her water to the side.

I began to push in, working slowly at first but gaining speed and depth with each thrust. A broad smile of passion spread over her face as each inch of my cock began to slide in and out of her. She drew her legs up and set her ankles on my shoulders.

"Oh, Steven! I love the way you fuck me!" she sang out. "Oh, Baby! Fuck me!"

The view of her reclining on the kitchen counter, her legs in the air, her firm little tits bouncing in rhythm with our screwing was breathtaking. I parted her legs and leaned down to kiss her breasts, her lips, and her neck. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight.

"Oh, Baby! I'm going to come again!" she cried. "I'm coming, you bastard! Oh! Oh! Oh!"

I was so close myself I thrust deeper and harder, the feel of her tight pussy and her legs and arms wrapped around me pushing me over the edge. I could feel my cum spurt up from my balls.

"Here I come, Baby!" I said as I thrust deep into her.

"Oh, Steven Baby! I want to feel your hot cum!" she said matching each thrust of mine.

I thought I would never stop shooting off into her sweet pussy, each spurt releasing more of the frustration that had been building over the last few months.

"Oh, God!" I shouted. "Oh! Oh! Oh, God!!"

"I can feel it! I can feel it inside me!" she cried out with joy.

I could feel her body tremble as I pulled her up from the counter and hugged and kissed her.

"Oh, Baby! What did you do to me?" she said.

"Man, that was a dam bursting train wreck of a fuck! Did you learn how to do that up on the farm?"

"I've never done all that at one time before," she said slipping down from the counter. "With Bill it was a quick hump and he fell asleep. I had no idea that sex was this much fun." She stroked my soft sticky dick. "Can we do it again?"

"Why don't we have dinner first," I suggested. "There's a few other things I'd like to show you."

While dinner was cooking, we took a shower together. As she washed my cock, it began to have ideas of its own and we ended up screwing again until the hot water ran out. Since her roommate was working afternoons, we had the place to ourselves and took advantage by having dinner in the nude. Even though we giggled like teenagers, it seemed so natural to sit with her naked and eat. After dinner we moved to the bedroom and made the longest most passionate love I'd ever known long way into the evening. After she slipped down to suck the last remnants of cum from my cock, I felt her shoulders begin to shake. Then she began to cry.

"What's the matter, Jessie?" I asked, pulling her up so that I could see her face.

"I was thinking about what you said," she sobbed. "You know about firsts and all. This moment feels so good, Steven. I don't want it to end."

"Neither do I."

"I know," she said sadly. "It's just that I feel that once you walk out that door, it'll never be the same. I'll never be able to get this wonderful feeling back."

"Maybe not this particular feeling," I said. "The first time you make love together is that way, isn't it? There're no guarantees in life, but we can try to keep this feeling fresh. We can work together and explore new sensations and new feelings."

I kissed her tenderly and deeply, holding her close to my chest. Her sobs subsided. The rain clouds had moved off and there was moonlight streaming in through her bedroom window.

"I love you, Steven," she said, laying her head down on my chest.

"And I love you, Jessie."



Letting Go



Rachel hated her annual family vacation. Every year she and her family, all four siblings plus two dogs, went to a cabin on top of a mountain in some ritzy tourist trap in Colorado. As a child, it was fun. Fishing her with father, camping in the woods one night with her siblings and telling horrifying ghost stories. As she got older though, Rachel enjoyed it less and less.

Rachel was far too wound up to enjoy a vacation. As the youngest of her siblings, she was the only person who didn't have a job or young children wearing her down. So, while her sisters did sunrise yoga, Rachel ran five miles on a mountain trail. While her brothers went "fishing" in the afternoon Rachel babysat her nieces and nephews, all seven of them.

The truth was Rachel could not relax. Her life was a constant struggle for productivity. She jumped from one energy outlet to the next with seemingly no breaks between. Sitting still made her anxious. Sleeping for more than six hours at a time was something she hadn't done since she got mono when she was fourteen. As such, the leisurely escape, that was the annual Moss family vacation, drove 19 year old Rachel insane. So insane, in fact, that she even applied for service work abroad during the summer, to avoid leisure time. She hadn't been accepted however and was forced to instead spend her summer working in her mother's boutique. That was fine with her, it kept her plenty busy, and made her feel productive, with one exception. The mandatory two week family vacation.

"Please come to the hot springs with us Rachel!" her sister Anne pleaded as Rachel scrubbed at the dishes from breakfast. "The boys are taking the kids boating, you're going to be all alone!"

"Yeah Rach," her sister Belle agreed. "Do you really hate us so much that you can't spend one day relaxing in natural artesian waters?"

Rachel sighed, "You know I don't hate any of you. I'd just rather not go. I don't think it makes me strange that I don't want to sit in hot sulfur water all day."

"Well, what will you do?" Rachel's mother asked.

"I think I'm going to explore the town a little more. There are some cute little shops down there."

Rachel's family knew pestering her more about it wouldn't change the result. So instead they said their farewells and headed off, leaving Rachel the day to herself.

True to her word Rachel visited the nearby town. She enjoyed flitting from store to store in her strapless blue summer dress and brand new cork wedges. She'd spent the morning getting ready, carefully drawing on winged eye liner and pulling her long black hair into a high ponytail. The effort appeared to be paying off too. Everywhere she went she caught men staring a second too long, or turning a fraction too far to watch her walk away.

No one stared quite as blatantly however as the bearded man sitting on the bench in front of the cafe Rachel was planning on eating lunch in. He was young, but older than Rachel. She estimated him to be 24 or 25. His blonde hair was long enough to be pulled into a messy bun at the nape of his neck, but his beard appeared to only represent a week or so of not bothering to shave. He smiled as he stared at Rachel, a genuine warm smile as if it was perfectly normal for him to be watching her so intently.

"If it isn't the lost Moss girl," he said happily as if addressing an old friend and not a total stranger.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Rachel asked guardedly.

"No. I'm Chris. I teach yoga here. I met a whole bunch of Moss women the other day. The kept talking about their youngest sister who refused to come and I knew it must be you."

"How could you be so sure it was me?"

Chris's smile broadened. "They described their younger sister as an incredibly A-type girl that's wound too tight and can't stop moving."

Rachel was dumbfounded. How could this man, whom she had never laid eyes upon before, have discerned her identity from those characteristics? Is that how people saw her?

Chris laughed at the horror on Rachel's face. "They also showed me a picture. It's hard to forget someone as gorgeous as you."

Rachel had no idea how to react to anything about the situation she had stumbled into. Not only was a complete stranger giving her absolute mixed messages, he happened to an incredibly attractive complete stranger.

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to freak you out. I just figured I'd say hi. What are you up to anyway? Your mom told me this morning you were all going to the hot springs."

"Yeah," Rachel said, slowly returning back to a normal state of responsiveness. "The rest of my family went, but I stayed behind to do some exploring."

"Those waters are supposed to be healing, for both the body and the spirit. People have trekked thousands of miles just to soak in them, and yet here you stand, alone and unhealed."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Who needs healing? I for one am not going to waste my day sitting in hot water that smells like boiled eggs."

Chris nodded, as if pondering what she was saying at a deep level. His reply caught Rachel very off guard. "They're right. You are wound super tight."

Rachel wanted to punch him. Why could no one accept that she didn't want to go to a spa or do meditative yoga? Was it so odd for her to enjoy being fast paced?

"You don't sleep much, do you?" Chris asked suddenly.

"No, but I don't see how that has anything to do with-" Rachel began but Chris cut her off mid-sentence.

"What about books, do you read?"

"Only nonfiction."

"Movies?"

"Documentaries. Preferably social commentary ones."

"Ever had an orgasm?"

Rachel felt her jaw drop. Blood rushed to her face as she stammered sounds for a moment before answering with false confidence. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I have."

"From someone else?"

"Well...uh...no..."

"See, that's what I'm saying. You're just too uptight. You need to learn to let go and just be in the moment. Take pleasure from things that you can't control or that don't fulfill a purpose. Just enjoy."

Rachel felt herself getting angry. What did he know? He knew nothing about her life or whether or not she enjoyed it.

"For your information the fact that I've never had an orgasm says nothing about me. Perhaps you couldn't have stopped thinking so misogynistically for a moment and realized that not all men even care about giving women orgasms. You all think that you can just thrust a few times and we should be swooning in your arms. You don't care that sex is an art and we have needs to!"

Chris was silent for a moment as he absorbed what Rachel said. She felt smug, he couldn't argue that point.

"You're right. Not all men realize sex is an art. That is a definite oversight on my part."

With that he got up and began walking away. Rachel was incredibly confused.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"Back to my place, wanna come?"

Rachel paused, not sure how to handle such an odd sexual advance.

"Yes."

The moment Rachel walked into Chris's bedroom she felt overwhelmed. The floor was covered in various colorful rugs and the walls were draped with tapestries. The bed itself was covered in a giant mound of pillows and a comforter that appeared to be made of clouds.

Chris had been talking throughout the whole house tour about his design scheme and where each of his pieces had come from but Rachel had stopped listening. Instead she just took in the beautiful eclectic space. It couldn't be more different than her carefully organized and streamlined room at home, and yet she found herself wishing she never had to leave.

Chris was smiling at her. He felt her energy change the second she walked into his bedroom. She had calmed down already. Her energy projection was no longer so aggressively outward. Instead she was taking everything in.

He walked up behind her and kissed her neck, nuzzling her gently with his beard. Goosebumps formed on her skin as Rachel realized what was happening.

"Let go for a while," he said against her ear. When he nipped at her earlobe Rachel felt herself sigh. She couldn't believe how badly she already wanted him.

Chris continued trailing kisses along Rachel's skin. He kissed her shoulders, and gently pulled her out of it's ponytail. Then her turned her around and kisser her properly. His kisses were slow but demanding. Rachel found herself pressing against him. She wanted to be as close to him as possible. Soon they were entangled in each other, with her arms wrapped around the back of his neck and his hands holding their pelvises together.

Suddenly he lifted her up and carried her to his bed. He stared into her eyes as he straddled her and slowly undid the zipper on the front of her dress, allowing the fabric to fall away. Rachel hadn't felt the need to wear a bra, so her small breasts were now completely in view. Chris took one hard nipple into his mouth as Rachel writhed beneath him. He then kissed her again, this time more urgently. Rachel felt one of his legs go between hers and spread them. Her stomach flipped in anticipation and she moaned quietly. 

Chris could see how desperate Rachel was for his touch. He watched as she arched her back upwards so her chest could meet his, and felt her hands roughly tangling themselves in his hair. He pulled away from her for a moment to take his shirt off. Rachel's hands immediately began exploring his muscular chest and back. One of her hands began straying down his stomach, clearly headed toward his already throbbing cock. He stopped her, grabbing her wrist and pinning her arm against the bed above her head gently.

He then began to kiss her again. He bit her nipples, enjoying the gentle moans of pleasure she made each time he did. The then kissed down her chest and stomach slowly. Watching her writhe with impatience. They both knew where he was headed, and the anticipation was almost unbearable. 

Finally his lips reached her black silk panties. As he kissed between her legs Chris noticed they were already visibly wet. He gently lifted the edge with his tongue and bit down, careful to only grab the fabric. He then slowly pulled them off Rachel's hips, which she lifted off the bed to assist in the process.

Rachel's body was now his to explore. He buried his face between her leg, pulsating his tongue gently against her clitoris while two of his fingers roughly slid in and out of her. Rachel couldn't believe how good it felt. Other men had gone down on her before, but never had it felt so good. She was lost in the pleasure and grinding her hips into Chris's face to try to heighten the feeling for herself.

Rachel's moans increased to a desperate crescendo as she experienced her first ever shared orgasm. She breathlessly fell back onto the mattress. Her whole body was flushed and her heart was racing.

Chris kissed his was back up her body. His throbbing cock was still trapped within the confines of his jeans and boxers, but he didn't care. His only mission was to let Rachel finally experience some true pleasure. He kissed her again and she reciprocated happily. Their kisses were much slower and more sensual now. Rachel's hands strayed to Chris's crotch and finally undid his jeans. She helped him slide them off, along with his boxers, finally revealing his cock.

Rachel had never wanted something inside of her so badly in her entire life. She watched as Chris slid a condom over what had to be at least seven inches of himself with impatience. As soon as he indicated she could she straddled him and guided him inside her.

Chris slid easily inside of Rachel. She let out a ragged breath as his whole length filled her. She began to gyrate, enjoying the feeling on his cock hitting spots inside of her she couldn't believe existed. Chris grabbed her hips and leaned up so they were face to face as she rode him. He gently thrust into her, reveling in the feel of his cock inside of her tight cunt.

Soon Rachel was at the point of no return. Her hips wildly rocked back and forth as Chris thrust forcefully into her. She yelled loudly upon orgasm and pulled on Chris's hair in compete and utter surrender to the pleasure. Chris couldn't last after that and quickly finished inside of her. His orgasm was so strong that when he was finished Chris thought he might have gone blind briefly. It was if all of his senses had shut off to make room for the overwhelming orgasm he'd just experienced.

Afterward they lie together, pressing their naked bodies together in a much different way. Chris kissed her gently on the shoulder as he nuzzled into her.

"Thank you for letting go for me." 



Letting Go



Listen to how wet you make me, as I beg to come for you.

This is my second audio submission, and I hope you have as much fun listening as I did recording!

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Click Here to listen: .mp3 format or .ogg format. (6 min/mp3)

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Letting Go



Hi everyone. This is a story that I worked on towards the end of my break. I just had a chance to polish it up and post it. I'm placing it under romance. I hope you enjoy. 

I want to thank Andi for checking behind me. Any errors found are not because of this wonderful person. I'm not perfect so I'm sure you will spot a few mistakes. Please don't let them ruin the story for you. All characters are above the age of consent.

Now, read and share your thoughts.

*****

LETTING GO

What do you want from me, Kyle? I've done everything for you. You expect me to sit here and let you walk out of our marriage? Hell no, we took vows? Katrina recalled as she waited, watching the closed apartment before her.

Katrina, honestly, I don't give a fuck what you do. I don't want you anymore. I'm moving on and I suggest you do the same. Her husband of twelve years stated angrily at her before walking out. She knew where he was going, so she called the only other person, besides her Mom that she could count on. She called David.

Sitting on a dark corner in her brother's car, she watched him as he left the apartment complex. He never lied about his intentions. He was eerily polite, but lately something changed. Kyle never spoke to her the way he did tonight, and she knew it was because of her. It was because the girl, Jasmine, whose home he just left. 

David knew his sister was hurting, and a part of him wanted to strangle her husband. However, now was not the vengeance, he needed to help Katrina. 

Jasmine! Katrina was not stupid, but she was not about to roll over and play dead. They took vows, and if her husband thought he would walk away from their marriage and give that girl everything she worked to build with him, he had another think coming. Katrina had one goal. She was taking her husband back.

"Sissy, he isn't worth this. You know dad didn't raise you to act like this." David reminded his sister, as he drove her back home. He drove in silence, both aware of the events that took place earlier. 

"David, twelve years, I gave this man years of my life. We took vows. He had nothing when we started. I was with him, David. I can't let him walk away. He wants everything. He told me that this morning." She whispered.

David was not surprised. Kyle was a decent guy at first. When he and Katrina met, they were both business majors and worked together to start their own business. They were so dedicated to starting their careers that they decided to put off having children. 

"Sissy, you deserve better than this." David whispered.

Katrina looked at her brother. " What am I supposed to do without him, David? He is my life, and I can't give him up."

"Let go." David suggested. "You can't force the man to love you, Trina. You'll only make yourself sick by trying. Besides, he is not worth this stress you keep putting yourself through. Clearly he has moved on. Let him go."

Katrina stared at the front door. She knew David was right. Her brother was always right. She got out of the car, and David walked with her. He escorted her into her home, and was not surprised to find Kyle waiting. Kyle was not even upset. He spoke and David sighed. "Trina, pack a bag. I want you to stay over at my apartment tonight." He stated.

"No, I'm not leaving. I'll be fine." Trina hugged her brother and suggested that he go on home. David hesitated, but he did go out to his vehicle. Soon, Katrina heard him crank up and leave. She faced her husband. 

"Did you see enough?" Kyle asked.

Katrina faced him "I want time Kyle. You can't tell me that twelve years mean nothing to you."

Kyle exhaled; at one time, he loved his wife. They both started with nothing, and she worked to support them as he built their business. Then when their business was viable, she joined him. For the last ten years, Katrina was his rock, and then he realized that he just didn't love her any more. 

He met Jasmine. She applied for a post and was hired. He talked to her and the girl fascinated him. He was generous to Katrina. She could keep the house. Their accounts would be divided fifty-fifty. The divorce could go through easily if she would stop fighting him. 

"Kyle, talk to me." She demanded.

Kyle faced his wife. "There's nothing to talk about. I'm moving out. The house is yours. You'll hear from my lawyers." He added as she went to their bedroom. Katrina was frozen as she watched her husband pack his bag.

"What did do wrong, Kyle? I did everything that I thought you wanted. I loved you. I spent my life caring for you. I helped you reach your dreams. How can you walk out on me?"She cried.

Kyle looked at his wife "I just don't love you anymore Katrina. I'm in love with someone else. This marriage is over, good bye." He walked out. Katrina collapsed. She dedicated her life to her husband. How would she live without him. That girl didn't deserve her life; she didn't deserve her husband. She was fighting a divorce. No matter what, she was not giving him up so easily. 

David drove his apartment. He really didn't want to leave Katrina alone with Kyle, but they were married and it was not his place to interfere. He did call his sister back. She answered the phone, sobbing. "He left. David he left. He went to her." She cried.

Not wasting a minute, David rushed back to his sister's home and picked her up. She was not staying there by herself tonight. She sobbed as he drove to his small apartment. Opening the door and letting her inside, he offered her his room. This situation was awful. Her soon to be ex-husband was someone he once considered a friend. He watched for years as they struggled, and saw the sacrifices both made. Katrina loved her husband and Kyle seemed to love his wife. David was not sure when another woman entered the picture, but he was aware of subtle change in their relationship. A part of him wanted to go after the man that broke his sister, but he realized that was not his place. The best thing for him to do was to be there for Katrina. He had to be the big brother that she needed. Kyle hurt Katrina and in all honesty it was undeserved. Katrina went to bed, and David stayed up. Not knowing what to do, he did the only thing he knew to do. He prayed. When he was done, then he called Mom.

"Hello, David, is everything alright? What has happened?" Beulah Norris asked. 

"Kyle moved out tonight. I brought Katrina home. She's sleeping in my room." David explained. Beulah sighed. She knew this was coming. She had prayed for strength for her daughter and now this was upon them.

David continued, "Momma, she's devastated. I don't know what to say. I can't fix this. He asked for a divorce."

Beulah sighed. She understood how Katrina felt. The girl loved her husband. She sacrificed for her marriage. She placed no one but God before Kyle, yet he found happiness someplace else.

"In the morning, bring her home. She can stay with me." Beulah stated. 

Katrina did not sleep. He was leaving her. He was actually done with her. He filed for divorce. This was something they never talked about. Where would she go? What would she do now? For the past twelve years, her life, her whole identity was him. 

Balling her body in a tight ball, Katrina wept. David listened. His heart broke for her. She did not deserve this, but he would rather the man leave than stay around and become cruel and hateful to her.

Earlier that night, after walking out on his wife, Kyle stood outside of Jasmine's apartment. He felt horrible, but he also believed that he deserved to be happy. Jasmine made him happy and Katrina did not. Before he could knock, she opened her door and welcomed him back inside. He would have left them with Katrina, but he knew she would rip them to pieces. 

"Baby, are you alright?" Jasmine asked. Her big hazel eyes full of worry. She knew Kyle never wanted to hurt his soon to be ex-wife, but he loved her now. Katrina had to let him go.

Kyle sighed, "She threw a fit. I brought the papers with me. I'll give them to her on the office." Kyle lay down in her bed, Jasmine froze. Kyle finished speaking. "Stay home next week. There is no reason for you to be there." 

Jasmine smiled, "I love you." She whispered, Kyle pulled her onto the bed with him and wondered why he even bothered to leave her and go home in the first place. Kyle sighed. Katrina was a good woman. He just didn't love her anymore. He would even admit that she helped him build his business. Without her support, he never would have gotten this far. However, each day he grew to despise her and that was not good. He'd rather let go than have his feelings turn into hate. He inhaled, and the sweet perfume Jasmine always wore filled his nostrils. He sighed, content, as he thought about the beautiful woman that was now in his arms. Jasmine was young, beautiful, and devoted to him.

As soon as his divorce from Katrina was finalized, he was marrying Jasmine. Kyle fell asleep dreaming of the new family he would have someday soon.

The next morning, Katrina walked into his office. The look on her face said it all. Everyone gave her a wide berth. She entered his office and was not surprised to see that Jasmine was not perched at her desk. He more than likely told her to stay home. Not even bothering to address the temporary receptionist, she marched int her husband's office. Kyle knew she was pissed and rightfully so, but that did not change anything. He was ready for an argument. "Katrina, we are at work and we don't need to make a scene. Last night, I took the papers with me. All you have to do is sign them. We don't have to drag this out."

"Years of my life, and I was devoted to you. Yet you want to walk away. What about my time, my sacrifices? We were supposed to have a family, to be together for all time. What do I get, Kyle, nothing? You're wrong. You don't want me anymore, fine. However half of everything you own belongs to me, and I want my money. You want a divorce, buy me out. Oh, and the house, it's mine. You want to fight me on it, then I'll see your ass in court. You know something else, I deserve better than a lying no good cheater. Give me the papers. I'll sign them as soon as my attorney makes sure my assets are protected." Then she walked out. No one talked at work that day. Katrina stayed in her office away from her husband, and Kyle did the same. 

Katrina called her attorney and they met over lunch. He took the papers with him and agreed to call her later in the day. Kyle was extremely generous in his divorce decree. He actually divided their assets; the only problem was he wanted the house. After calling Kyle's attorney, Kyle eventually agreed to let Katrina have the house, on the condition that he would not have to pay alimony beyond the first six months of the divorce.

Katrina received a call from her lawyer, they met and he explained the new terms. Katrina was relieved, yet saddened. Her husband was divorcing her. He was leaving her for a younger, more beautiful woman. Her lawyer stopped by the office and returned two sets of divorce papers. Kyle needed to sign both sets. One was to file and another or their records.

Katrina took both sets and thanked her attorney. It was time to deal with her philandering spouse. She marched into Kyle's office and asked for a pen. He gave her one, and she sighed both sets of papers. Handing him his pen, he signed also.

Katrina glared at him. He knew she was hurt, but he could not fix that. She was still young and could meet someone else someday. "Goodbye Kyle," She whispered as she turned and walked out of his office. Picking up the papers, Kyle called his attorney. True to form, Katrina arrived in court and demanded a hefty alimony payment and wanted him to buy out her share of the business at above market value. She also wanted the house. And two of the four cars they owned.

Jasmine gasped. Kyle looked over that her and smiled. He warned her that he was giving up a lot of things, but together they would rebuild. Kyle then faced the judge and told him that she could the house and her car. The other three cars were his and he was not parting with them. Also, he would not buy out her shares if the business and pay her a large alimony settlement. He asked the judge to please make a fair decision.

Katrina fired back. Everything he had she helped build. The judge quieted to courtroom. He asked Kyle, did Katrina help build his business. Kyle admitted that she did. He asked if she contributed to the home. Kyle admitted that she did, and that it was her credit rating that helped them secure the dwelling. She was also instrumental in helping him secure the necessary loans to start their company. 

He faced Katrina and asked about the cars. Why did she want two? Katrina explained that she bought him the cars as gift, and there was no way she wanted to see another woman in them. Kyle started yelling and the judge banged his gavel.

The judge found out the value of the remaining two cars and rendered his decision. Kyle would buy out Katrina's shares in his company, he would pay alimony for one year. Katrina would keep the house and all of her personal belongings. Since the cars were gifts, Katrina could not decide to take them back because she was angry. Kyle could keep all three cars. A little over an hour later, they were no longer married. Katrina hid it as well as she could, but she was devastated.

Returning home to the home she shared with her husband, Katrina sat on the stairs. She relived every happy memory she shared with Kyle.

David stopped by. "Katrina, look. You can stay with me or Momma. You don't have to stay here." He explained.

Katrina stood. "This is my home, David. I made payments on this house, just like he did. I want Momma to move over here with me. That apartment is not safe and I have room now. As a matter of fact, you can move in too. I don't want to stay here by myself." 

Dave looked, "Katrina, you can sell it. It holds too many memories. You can buy another house. I'll help you look."

She knew her brother meant well. He just didn't get it. She did everything she could for her husband to keep him happy. But sleeping with another woman was a deal breaker. That she would not forgive. The house was not just a house to her. There were months they went without food to pay the mortgage. Kyle refused to find work as he was determined to start his company. She worked, paid the bills, while he stayed home. Then he started to company and the moment he became successful, he replaced her. So no, this wasn't just a house. This was her house. 

She needed to talk about something else. "David, why have you never married?" Katrina asked. 

David sighed, "I was called into the ministry. God has not revealed the woman he made for me yet. When he does, then I will take a wife."

"I thought Kyle was my other half and I was wrong." Katrina whispered.

David sat and held his sisters hands. "Life is not always smooth. You plan things one way and life throws curve, hill, valley, and even a storm in your way. You are a good woman Katrina. You were with that man for ten years. You never strayed. You kept your vows. God sees that. But now, don't think about Kyle, Jasmine or anything else. Think about what you need now." 

Katrina nodded. David was right. Her doorbell rang and her friends came over. They sat and David made excuse to leave. She spent the rest of the day with her two best friends.

That night, Beulah called and she joined her and David for dinner. Katrina invited her mother to come live with her. Beulah sighed, "I'll come and stay with you for a while, but I am coming back home." Katrina tried to protest. Beulah smiled. "Right now, you're hurting and don't need to be alone, but you will get through this." She hugged her close. Katrina cried.

After dinner, Katrina didn't want to go back to the house, so she stayed in her mother's guest room.

The next day she woke up and realized that she no longer had a job to report to. When they divorced, he took control of the company buying her shares. Katrina was lost. 

David stopped by his Mom's on his way to the church. "Trina, come with me. You can help with the less fortunate today. It will give you something to focus on." He explained.

Katrina accompanied him to his office. Miss Nellie greeted them. And she hugged Katrina so tightly. "Baby girl, you will be fine," She whispered. Then they prepared for their guest. Slowly people started trickling in. Katrina stood on the line and helped serve breakfast. Soon, some young men came in complaining about the meal. David and one of his deacons told them to leave. A few elderly people came through and ate. Katrina and Ms. Nellie had them to sit and bought their metals over. She was surprised to see an older lady with several small children. She and Ms. Nellie served them as well. Before long the small fellowship hall at the church was packed. Eventually the crowd thinned and they had to prepare the lunch. Katrina had never worked so hard in a long time. 

Lunch was more chaotic than breakfast. The young men came back, but were more subdued. They actually tried to flirt with Katrina. Soon they left and everyone finished eating and the kitchen and dining room were cleaned. David was about to drive his sister back to their Mom' house. Katrina stopped and smiled at him, "David, thank you for today."

He smiled. She would be fine.





Letting Go



Her phone rang, and she answered and smiled. Talking with her friends helped her forget her failed marriage for a moment. Tired, she retired for the night.

The next morning, Katrina arrived at her brother's church. She entered and sat in the pew next to her mother. Beulah smiled and gripped her hand. The service began and David came up. There was a change in venue. David was supposed to deliver the message but a special guest had flown in. He was excited because this member of their flock came home and agreed to give the word.

Everyone stood and clapped as the only other man to ever get Katrina's attention stood at the podium. He looked different, healthier. He was still pale; his blonde hair cut close and still looked too serious. Then he spoke. Katrina's heart raced. She sat and stared as Austin Howsey spoke. 

She had no idea what he talked about. A she could see was how handsome he was. She wondered if would he remember her. He used to have the biggest crush on her but she met Kyle. That was years ago, and he was probably married with kids by now. Soon everyone was up, clapping and Elder Seymore Rainey was hugging Austin. Austin stepped down and people lined up for prayer.

Service ended and Katrina was headed for the door.

"Katrina, I know you are not trying to leave without speaking to me?" a deep voice asked,

Katrina stopped and turned. Willing her mouth to stay closed, she spoke to the one guy that had surprised her in the best way.

"Austin, no I was trying to beat the crowd." Moving forward, she hugged him. Damn he fills out this suit.  She thought

"Don't leave. Stay we can catch up." Austin suggested.

Katrina realized he was as handsome as ever, her brain did not lie to her. Some more members stopped by to speak and a few women glared. "I don't know. This is a special day and I hate to ruin it."

Austin smiled, "Stay, talk to me." He whispered, then he grinned, and she knew she was not going anywhere.

Katrina stood with Austin as he spoke with everyone that came to him. Soon David came out, and saw her . He smiled.

"Katrina, you stayed. I'm glad. Some of the mothers have made dinner in the fellowship hall, join us."

Katrina wanted to refuse. The church mothers were not very friendly. However, Austin gripped her waist and led her back onto the building.

Once they entered the fellowship hall, Katrina stepped away from Austin. He was not happy, but he knew she was not ready and needed time. Elder Rainey saw her and greeted her immediately. He hugged her and reassured her that she was welcomed. 

The men talked and Katrina went to see if she could help the women. Surprisingly, they were so welcoming. Then one mentioned that divorce was a sin. Two of the women shared a look and reminded her of something. "Adultery, according to the bible, is grounds for divorce. Mothers, you need to read you word and stop being so judgmental."

A member of the mother's board admonished her fellow ladies. Katrina was shocked. Someone actually came to her defense. She smiled and thanked the outspoken woman, ever grateful for her kind words. " The women stopped talking. Katrina was silent. And the women put her to work. Soon they served the men, and everyone ate. As they ate, Austin talked about his ministry and the gains they had achieved.

Katrina was fascinated. He watched her surreptitiously and knew that now was the time. Twelve years, it took twelve years for her to be ready and now he knew. It was time. He prayed for months, and a few months ago when he learned of the divorce, he knew it was time to go be with the woman God had chosen as his wife.

She was scarred, and that was understandable. Her ex-husband, ripped her open, leaving her raw. But from what he saw tonight, she would heal and he would be there when she was ready to move on. He was patient, and loved her enough to go as slow as she needed. He fell in love with Katrina twelve years ago, and now he was done being in the shadows. 

Everyone left, except David. He was leading the evening service, so he had to prepare. Austin held onto Katrina and asked that she spend time catching up. They left and went to her home. She invited him inside and Austin came and sat. The two spent hours talking. He told her the house was beautiful when a shadow crossed her face. 

"Yes, it is. It holds many memories." Katina replied.

"It hurts you to stay here. Sell it." Austin whispered.

"If it were that simple, I would. I sacrificed to help buy this house. I planned to raise our children here. It is located in a great neighborhood, near a fantastic school, Momma and David are nearby. Kyle never wanted that with me though. He never wanted kids, a family, and a life." Katrina faced him. "I loved that man. I took vows before God. I never strayed, and he..." She shared a secret with Austin that no one else knew. "He brought her into our home. He had her in this house. She bragged, you know, and swore her friends to secrecy. I found out after the divorce. Everything I planned with him, he wanted with her."

"I'm sorry Katrina. I had no right to say that. However, you must remember, that Kyle is not the only man on this planet." He smiled and she relaxed. They spent the next few hours simply talking.

"How long are you visiting?" Katrina asked.

"Not long. I really just came for the anniversary. But to be honest, I can stay as long as you want." He replied.

Katrina looked away. Her long dark hair hang over her shoulder as Austin admire the rich shimmer of her mahogany skin. Katrina was beautiful, and he had waited twelve years for the right to approach her. 

However, he would not rush her, and soon she would see that he was the one in God's plan for her life all alone. Katrina faced him and smiled. He could see the hurt and doubt in her eyes. He knew Kyle divorced her for a younger woman and that he took great pains to flaunt his new wife in front of her. He talked with David often, and David confided in him his concerns for Katrina.

She would be fine, and Austin planned to be there when she decided to move on with her life. 

"So, tell me, why have you never married?" She asked curiously. 

Austin sighed, "The woman I loved married the wrong man."

Katrina walked away from him and they both were silent. She stopped herself. Why do I think he means me? Stop being an undersexed ninny.

"She was a fool. Any woman would be blessed to have you for a husband." Katrina whispered softly.

"She wasn't a fool. She was just fooled by a pretty package. I know what I looked like years ago and many did not see me as a great catch. Now, I hope she sees me in a different light." Austin then stood. "Can we go for a walk?. I want to see the neighborhood." He stated.

Katrina smiled and they headed out. She wanted to ask more about this woman. She wanted to know what she looked like. Where did he meet her? She wanted to know about him. She also needed to question herself. She actually was jealous of this woman that Austin mentioned. She had no right to feel jealous.

As they walked, Katrina laughed at his silliness, and she realized that she had not laughed on a long tome. Soon they stopped and sat on a bench. Austin was watching the ducks swim in the pond. Katrina sat beside him.

"If I had my way, I'd be watching my kids feed the ducks." He whispered.

Katrina gasped. That was an odd thing to say. 

"Well Austin you are only twenty seven, you have time. Besides, we can watch the other kids feed them." Katrina stated smiling.

Austin sighed and placed his arm around her. As they sat, people walked by, not even noticing. Then Sister Geraldine from the church happened to be out for her daily walk. She walked over to them full of reproach. She had to set these two straight or there would be chaos in the church.

"What are you doing? It's bad enough that your husband put you away. Now you're gallivanting around with another man. Don't be fooled. God is not mocked." She preached.

"Sister Geraldine, we were just..." Geraldine cut her off before she could finish.

"I have held my tongue, but this is not right. I'm going to Elder Rainey this time. You need to find a new church home." Then she stormed off.

Katrina was hurt. People around them were staring. She looked at Austin and he was red in the face. 

Katrina stood. "I'm sorry, Let me go. Sister Geraldine is right. I shouldn't..."

"Shouldn't what? Live. You shouldn't be happy? You shouldn't be with a man that has been in love with you for over a decade." Austin stood as a crowd gathered. He was done playing.

"I am in love with you Katrina. I have always loved you. Even when you married Kyle, my love did not die. That marriage was one of the reasons I left. You are a good woman and what he did was wrong. I'm selfish because I'm glad he left you. I'm glad because maybe you can see me now." He stood before her, grasped both of her hands. "God made man first. He saw that was good, but man was lonely, so he created a helpmate. She was called woman. Each man has a second half. Each man has a person that God made for them. In my heart of hearts, I believe you are the one for me."

Katrina stared at him. Then she stood and ran away. Austin was crushed. He put it out there and she still did not want him. Who was he fooling? Tomorrow, he was catching his flight back home.

Katrina ran on her house, collapsing in tears as she entered the foyer. Austin had to be wrong. She was the worst woman he could have chosen. She had to keep him from making a huge mistake. She had to let him go.

Austin was frozen as she rushed away. The crowd dispersed, but a few people offered him words of encouragement. He walked back to her house and knocked. Katrina opened the door.

"I'm sorry, Austin. You didn't deserve that." She exhaled. "I'm not ready. I won't lie to you. I'm attracted to you, but I'm no good. I'm broken."

Austin sat beside her. "He didn't deserve you. But I know you Katrina; you gave your all to him. You need time and I'll wait. I'll back down, but I won't give up. Not this time. I waited twelve years ago and that was the worst mistake of my life."

Katrina said nothing. If she was not such a mess, then she could go to him and be happy. But she knew she was not really coping with the divorce. It would not be fair to him for her to get involved with him if she could not commit to him.

Katrina was silent. She did not know how to explain, but Austin never asked her too. He sat beside her on the staircase, wrapped his arm around her and pulled her head onto his shoulder. They were just together.

Soon, they realized the time, and they had not eaten. It would be time for Austin to return to the church. Not wanting to starve her friend, Katrina recruited him and within ten minutes, they each had a toasted roast beef and Swiss cheese sandwich with chips. After they had eaten, Austin asked Katrina to come back with him for the evening service. Katrina refused, and he went back alone.

Before leaving, Austin had one more thing. "Katrina here is my number. If you ever need me, call Ok." He explained.

"Austin," Katrina sighed, but he insisted that she take the card. She did, and then he started to leave. "I must be honest. I've waited for you for twelve years, Katrina. I pray you don't force me to wait much longer." Then he left. 

As soon as he entered the church, David could tell something had happened. Austin did not want Katrina's brother involved in their business, so he told him things were fine. He helped David prepare and stayed through the service as David spoke.

After service ended, David invited him to stay at his apartment, and Austin gladly accepted. That night the guys ordered Mexican and David decided to be truthful. "I was hoping that when Katrina saw you today she would come out of her doldrums. She's still hurting, yet she tries to hide it." Austin remained silent. 

David stopped, and apologized. He realized that may be Austin was not comfortable with this topic. Soon, some of David's neighbors stopped by and the guys all talked. Austin joined in, but he was thinking about Katrina. 

The next morning, he was catching a flight back home, but he had one need. He needed to see Katrina once more. David stopped by her office and she wished her friend the best. David and Austin left and Katrina returned to work. Although he wore a smile on her face, inside she cried as she missed her friend. That confused her. She had not seen this man in over ten years, why was she pining for him like as errant school girl.

Weeks past and Katrina focused on work, church, anything but her loneliness. She wanted to ask David about Austin, but her brother didn't discuss his friends with her. 

One weekend at the center, Katrina was serving when Ms. Geraldine and her friends volunteered.

The three elder women witnessed to the people that came. It had been almost a year since her husband filed for divorce. The people at the church made her fill comfortable. She was even getting along with the sisters on the mother's board. She was better. She slept at night now. She didn't wonder what was wrong with her, nor would she ever find true happiness. 

As she served the couples, Fred came in. Last month, Rose started treatment, and coming here was his only social interaction. "Fred, how is Rose?" She always asked. Then she made sure she prepared a plate for him to take home. 

She prayed that one day she would meet a man that could love her the same way Fred loved his Rose. The day ended and Katrina could not help but smile. Normally her brother would keep her company, but for the last month he had met someone. Lana was perfect for David. She treated him like a king and Mom loved her as well. They were serious and she could see a wedding in the future. Often she and Lana would hang out, and she realized her future sister, like her brother was a good listener. By talking to her, she had actually come to terms with many things. She never ran into Kyle or jasmine. He actually moved and she had heard they married a month after the divorce was final.

Katrina was ready, and Lana encouraged her to date. 

She dated a few men, and some were perfect gentlemen. A few were creeps, and she got over them quickly. Each man she went out with was missing something, and she could not figure out what.

One weekend, David and Lana went out and the next morning the David and Lana announced their engagement. Lana asked Katrina immediately to be her matron of honor. Katrina accepted gladly, and she and her new sister were inseparable. 

Lana went to Lilac's Boutique and ordered the dresses for herself and her court. Katrina needed to go in for a fitting one day and decided to grab a quick lunch at a local café. Being alone, was not new to her. But on this day as she ate, two people walked over. Much to her chagrin, her ex-husband and his new wife wanted to say hello.

Katrina looked up and smiled. Kyle wore the biggest smirk as his arm encircled the waist of a very pregnant Jasmine.

"Kyle, Jasmine, hi. I'm glad to see you two. Sit for a moment." She offered. Kyle's smirk faded. She was a little too happy. Jasmine was tired and she started to sit when Kyle gripped her tighter."

"No, we are actually shopping for the twins. Jasmine saw you and we wanted to say hello." Kyle explained.

Katrina looked at Jasmine. She only responded to whatever signals Kyle gave her. Katrina was actually relieved. She used to be her. But now she was her own woman. She didn't need a man to complete her. She realized that was why Kyle didn't want her anymore. He couldn't manipulate her and that made him feel threatened. She had her own mind.

"Jasmine and Kyle let me say congratulations first. I wish you both the best." Then she returned to her meal. Kyle stood. Not really understanding why she was not upset. He had everything she claimed she wanted with him with Jasmine. Snatching his wife a bit forcibly, Kyle and Jasmine left the small outdoor café. Katrina felt free and she finished her lunch. Looking at the time, she needed to get back home. She was hosting dinner and they were choosing flowers and décor for the reception. As she dug through her purse for her keys, she found a small card.

Katrina smiled, she'd call him tonight. Not that she expected him to be free, but she wanted to simply say hello. Leaving the outdoor café, Katrina headed home and was truly content.

Katrina had two hours to prepare the dinner. It was simple, baked salmon, salad, and pasta. David was bringing a light wine. And she would make green tea as well. However, as she cooked she thought about Austin. 

As she set out the meal, David and Lana arrived. Lana and David pitched in and by the time Mom made it, dinner was ready. The four sat and Lana was introspective. She missed her parents. Having lost them when she was twenty, she missed not having them here for her wedding. She had aunts and uncles that would be here, but being around Miss Beulah made her miss her parents. 

As they ate, David was telling them about some of the young men in his group. Katrina was proud of her brother. He was her biggest cheerleader. They were happy that he reached so any. 

"While I was out, Kyle and Jasmine spoke to me. She's pregnant and apparently they're having twins." She added. Everyone froze.

Katrina looked at them, "What?"

"Are you alright?" David asked.

Katrina laughed. "You know what, I'm fine. I'm actually happy for them because I realized something. They love each other. He was right to move on. I could never be what she is to him and we would both be miserable if we stayed married.'

David watched her. Something in her was different, and he could tell that she was serious. She was no longer hung up on her ex-husband. 

David smiled and told her he was happy that she wasn't affected by them. Then dinner continued with the women discussing the wedding. David was outnumbered and stated, "I'll be glad when Austin gets here. Then I'll have backup."

Beulah laughed, "Hush up boy. Let us women talk."

David laughed and moved to clear the table. "So, Austin will be here in a few days. Maybe we can convince them to take us out. I want to go dancing; maybe you and Austin can convince David to go."

Katrina laughed, "I don't know Lana. He is not a fan of secular music. He might not agree, besides, Austin is a minister too. You know how strict the church is." 

Beulah laughed. You two girls have David wrapped around your collective fingers, and Katrina, Austin will do anything that you ask,"

"You know ladies, you can help clean up." David called, Lana laughed and joined him. Beulah sat with Katrina for a moment. "You seem different."

Katrina sighed, "Momma, when I was at lunch and Kyle walked up to me, I was afraid I would shatter, but I looked at him and I realized something. He didn't break me. He hurt me. He made me doubt myself. He took away what I thought I always wanted. Then I saw that Jasmine is pregnant, and I was actually relieved."

Beulah looked confused. She knew how much Katrina wanted a child. "Katrina, I know you wanted children more than anything."

Katrina smiled, "Momma, I'm twenty-nine. I have time. I'll meet the right one and when God's will we'll marry and someday I will have my own little one. I'm not in a hurry. David and Lana will marry next week, and soon I'll be blessed with nieces and nephews."

Lana and David entered and joined the conversation. Everyone laughed. Soon it was late and Beulah headed home first. David and Lana left next then Katrina secured her home. She took a card from her purse. Taking a deep breath, she dialed ten familiar digits. The phone rang once, twice, and on the third ring, Austin picked up.

"Hello." He answered.

"Hello, Austin it's Katrina." She replied breathlessly.

Austin smiled. He had given up that she would ever call. He would be home in a few days for the wedding and planned to talk to her then.




Letting Go



"Katrina, what a lovely surprise! What's going on? He queried.

Katrina sighed, What can I say to him? She wondered.

"Nothing, I was calling to tell you I'll be glad to see you in a few days. Maybe we can get together and talk." She stated. 

Austin smiled. Things sounded promising. "OK, so tell me what's been going on in the last few months. I mean you've had my number for the longest and never called." 

Katrina was caught off guard. She never expected him to question this soon. However, never on to shy away from a challenge, she spoke. "To be honest, I didn't call because I needed to work on me. I needed to get myself together and now I'm ready. So when you come in a few days, we can talk."

Austin could not stop grinning. They chatted some more about the wedding, and things they wanted to do together, then hang up. Katrina undressed and went to bed. She thought about Austin and what his visit would mean. It didn't matter because for the first time in a long time, she had something to look forward to.

Three days later, Austin arrived. Katrina had taken the week off and she was excited. Katrina was at her house with Lana. The other bride maids had come over. They had to get there dance together for the reception. They knew David had something planned. He was waiting on Austin.

So, as the ladies arrived, they decided to dance to Tinashe's Two On. Katrina choreographed the moves and taught the other ladies. They practiced. Lana would be head dancer and they would follow her lead. The women were excited. 

Meanwhile Austin and David were meeting with his men. Several were deacons in the church and they knew the guys needed to have their dance together. Austin stood immediately and announced, "I can't dance." The guys laughed.

"It's simple, Ronson's Uptown Funk." One of the med suggested. Then he played the song. The guys liked it immediately, and came up with a routine. David would end up dancing with his bride and each male would dance with the female they escorted by the end of the song. Austin liked that idea. This meant at least he'd get one dance with Katrina for sure.

David became serious. He faced his friend, "Austin, you need to step up. Katrina has been dating and the guys are idiots. I like you and I want you to date my sister." Everyone was quiet. Austin had no idea how to address this. For the past year, Katrina was all he thought about.

"Wait, Dave, I like Katrina. Why can't I ask her out?" One of the deacons asked,

David laughed, "You never made her laugh. You just see a beautiful woman, but my man Austin sees the real person my sister is deep down."

The guys all talked, teasing both of them. "Dave, he isn't a wuss like that last guy she married. Kyle was a fool." They added.

Austin was still speechless.

"What's wrong, cat's got your tongue?" David asked.

"No, I'm surprised you don't have a problem with me approaching her. Katrina is amazing, and I can't wait to see her." He explained.

The guys laughed, and teased him a bit, but they could agree he and Katrina would be good together.

The rehearsal dinner was at seven, and everyone had to be there. So the guys went their respective ways to prepare. Austin was staying at the Marriot and David gave him a lift. The two men talked.

"Elder Rainey is stepping down." David stated. "He asked me to consider taking over. I don't know. That's a lot." 

Austin sighed, "The board will bring in someone new. You now that won't bode well."

David nodded, "Would you consider moving back?" 

Austin smiled. Katrina was here and he'd get to see her every day. "Of course, I will."

David sighed, and then dropped Austin off. As he drove home, he smiled. God was a miracle worker. He felt deep down that she and Austin were meant to be. He arrived at his small apartment that was prepacked. After the wedding, he and Lana were moving into a small three bedroom house. It was their first home, and he was so excited. Lana, Katrina, and Mom spent months getting the décor just right. He could not wait to carry his bride over the threshold.

He showered and dressed for the dinner and rehearsal tonight. Arriving at the church a little early, he was not surprised to find Elder rainy waiting. The two talked, and the Austin and the guys came followed by the women. The mothers prepared a scrumptious meal and they went through the agenda for the reception. 

Austin sat by Katrina who was very animated and laughing at his antics. When the dinner ended, he asked her to ride with him. She agreed. 

"Austin, I'm so glad you're back. We have so much to catch up on." Katrina stated as they chatted. Austin sat close to her, never leaving her side. As they ate, he watched her admiring her beauty. She had changed. She didn't wear as much makeup as before. Her hair had grown out and was styled in a simple fashion. Her eyes sparkled with life and her smile lit up the room.

As he drove, Katrina was silent at first. Stopping near the park, Austin locked the doors. They were not getting out, but you could never be too careful.

"How are you?" He asked.

Katrina was taken aback. That was a strange question. "I'm fine. Good." She exhaled, "Ok."

Austin was quiet. "Are you over him?"

Katrina looked at him, his face shadowed. "Kyle, you mean. Yes. Everything worked out for the best. Austin, where do you see this going?" 

Katrina was attracted to the man. She denied her feeling before because she was still nixed up over her marriage. However, for the past two days, her mind, body and soul craved one man. That man was the handsome man sitting beside her.

"Can we go back to my hotel? I won't try anything, but it will be safer to talk there." He suggested. Katrina agreed.

He drove to the Marriot and they went inside. Sitting in the bar, they talked. Austin wanted more, but he would not cross the line. The hour grew late and he drove her home. As he walked her to her door, Katrina invited him in. Austin froze.

"I can't come in. Do you know how hard it was not to take you to my room at the Marriot? If I come in, I may not leave willingly. I want you Katrina and it's the hardest thing for me. 

Not needing to hear more, Katrina kissed him. Austin's body ignited in a heat that was indescribable. Lifting her, he cried hr inside, and kissed her until she forgot to breath. Katrina wasn't helping matters, because her need exploded and within seconds his shirt was gone and pants unfastened. 

Kissing her neck, Austin said her dress from her shoulder exposing her perfect round breast to his hungry lips. He latched on and Katrina came. Gasping, she could not believe this man made her climax from sucking her breast. 

Victims of their dual lust, Katrina cupped his member. He was huge, hard, and hot. Only when he felt her hand on his naked flesh did Austin pull away.

"Baby, stop. We have to stop." He pleaded. 

"Austin" Katrina gasped and then she realized what happened.

Embarrassed she apologized.

"No, don't. I'm not sorry, but we really need to think about this. I'm not a rebound guy. I'm not here for you to play with. I've waited a long time to be the man in your life and I'm not waiting anymore, so tonight we stop. God it's hard, but we will stop right here. "He caressed her cheek. "After the wedding tomorrow, I want you to spend your time with me. Everyone will know we are together. We can visit back and forth and really get to know each other. Besides, I might be moving back home."

Katrina looked at him. "Austin, people will talk."

"Let them." he answered. "Let them talk, Katrina. I've waited twelve years for you and I already know what I want. I want to give you time. I need you t be as sure as I am. So if our being together bothers them, let them talk."

Katrina heard nothing he said, because her heart was pounding as she looked at the man she wanted forever with. Stroking his blonde locks, she looked deeply in his green eyes. "Austin," she whispered. "Shut up and kiss me." He did.

The next day, Austin and Katrina were inseparable at the wedding. As David and Lana left for their honeymoon, Austin held Katrina close. 'One day, that will be us." He whispered. She blushed.

They stayed and helped clean up, as Austin was heading back to the Marriot. Katrina wanted him to stay with her. Austin smiled, and told her no, it was too tempting.

A few days after the wedding he returned home, but Katrina was driving up in two weeks. Austin was at his home and nervous. His place wasn't very big, or fancy. Hell, Katrina could fit his place in the backyard of her house. That was another problem for Austin. Could he live in the house she shared with her first husband? As soon as he saw her car, all of his fears vanished. 

Walking outside, Austin greeted Katrina. She smiled as soon as she saw him. "Hey, how was your drive? I'm glad you're here." He whispered as the hugged each other.

"Austin, I'm so glad to be here. I'm tired." She answered.

"Come on in." he offered. Katrina entered, and Austin asked about the hotel. He actually reserved her room and wanted to make sure she was checked in. Some would think he was foolish, but he was not compromising his beliefs. 

He actually was ready and had a light lunch prepared. Katrina sat as he wowed her with his culinary skills. Katrina laughed. Austin was animated, silly, and so easy going.

'

They talked for hours and he caught up on the people back home. He had some news to share with her,

"Guess what? When Elder Rainey steps down, I'm going to become assistant pastor. So, in a few months, I'm moving back home." He stated excitedly.

Katrina squealed. This was the best news ever. "I'm waiting to hear back on several apartments. If I can't find a place right away, Elder Rainey said I can stay in the small room at the back of the church."

Katrina had a thought. He could stay with her. She had plenty of room. She was about to offer when Austin stopped her. "I'm not moving in with you. People would talk and I don't want to even give the appearance that we are more than just friends. Besides, if I have my way, we won't live apart for more than a few more months." He kissed her gently.

Katrina moaned, and Austin pulled back. "Come on, let's clean up. Then we can go to the movies or something." That was pretty much the entire visit. 

Katrina went home. She was sad, horny, and frustrated. She wanted him, and he was determined to wait. She could respect that, but she needed to feel a man's strong arms around her body. She needed to feel a strong virile man between her thighs. She needed Austin.

As she drove home after visiting over the weekend, she knew he would come see her in a few weeks. He wasn't just coming to see her; he was also looking at apartments as well. Katrina drove into her yard and let herself in. She was exhausted. She called her Mom and brother. Lana asked about her visit, and she shared briefly, but Lana would cone over after she had a chance to rest and then they would dish.

Katrina placed her bags be her door and crashed on her sofa. A few hours later, Lana and David stopped by. She looked for her Mom, but David was upset.

Lana laughed, "Miss Beulah has a date with Deacon Brown. He's been sweet on your Mom for ages. David is being difficult."

Katrina laughed. She knew Mom liked the much older gentleman, but Mom dating was kind of unsettling. "No, not you too. I swear, your Mom deserves her own life. Besides for an old guy, Deacon Brown is fine!"

Katrina laughed. Lana was right. David however did not crack a smile. "I'm praying for you two. If Brother Deacon tries something with my Momma, I have words for him."

Weeks passed, and Katrina was happy. She had actually had her home remodeled. She heard that Jasmine had the twins and she was happy for her. One weekend as she was shopping with Lana, she encountered some of the people from her old job. They were friendly and genuinely glad to see her. Some tried to down talk, Jasmine, but Katrina stopped them. They smiled. "Katrina, you were always a class act. We like that about you."

They soon went on their way and Lana asked was she really alright. Katrina was fine. 

Two more weeks went by and Austin visited. His first day was spent at the church with David. That night, he and Katrina had dinner. It was simple and romantic. Austin was wonderful company. Their date ended with him taking her him and kissing her goodnight. He refused to come in when she offered.

The next day, Austin stopped by the office and surprised her with lunch. Her coworkers liked him. Days flew by and she and Austin were together often. One Saturday morning, they decided to grab a quick breakfast. As they entered the small diner, neither noticed that Kyle was there.

They sat, and Katrina saw her ex-husband. She smiled and waved. Austin looked around. He was a bit uncomfortable and then Kyle walked over.

"Katrina, you look lovely. Austin, so you're moving back" he asked.

"Yes." Austin answered. Kyle however was focused on Katrina. "So, I heard you are up for a promotion at work?"

Katrina smiled, "You've heard more than me." She laughed. "How are Jasmine and the twins? Congratulations by the way." She offered. 

Kyle frowned. "She's alright. Her babies are fine." He answered clearly annoyed.

Katrina looked confused but decided that this was not her business. Austin spoke up, and eventually Kyle's' order was ready and he left. Keith was quiet. "He is a good looking guy. I can see why you were attracted to hm."

Katrina smiled. "He's not you. Besides, he made his choice and it's his loss." 

Austin sighed. "His loss is my gain."

Katrina laughed and Austin's heart soared. It was his desire to be the man to bring her unimaginable joy. The rest of their morning was perfect.

Austin found a small apartment and moved in. He spent as much time with David and Lana as he did at his place. At the ceremony where Elder Rainey retired, Austin gave a moving speech. At the end, he called Katrina to stand beside him. His message was clear, and the members of the church accepted them. 

As a couple, they spent more and more time together. One night, Austin invited Katrina over and cooked a romantic meal just for them. She arrived and he made sure she was comfortable. He was nervous and Katrina began to wonder. As he served them, he became silent. Finally not sure what to expect, Katrina spoke up. "Look Austin, I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I for sure am not the butter knife, something is going one here. What is it?" she demanded.

Austin was nervous. It wasn't every night you asked a woman to take your name, bear your children, and join with you for all eternity.

"Um, Katrina, I need to ask you something, but I'm not sure how." He explained. Now Katrina was nervous. "Please, sit on the sofa and give me a few seconds, OK." Austin requested. He walked into the kitchen and brought out two glasses of sherry. Katrina took her glass and placed it on the table, Austin took a deep breath. He sat beside her. He caressed her cheek as she looked at him, confused, scared. He smiled. 

"I'm nervous because I've never done something like this before." He took both of her hands in his. Katrina waited. Austin continued.

"I don't want t live in the past. But it is what makes us who we are. I wanted this to be something we both would always remember, and I hope it is. I have loved you since we were kids. I've waited for you. When you married Kyle, life stopped for me. That's one reason I left, but I have a second chance. I want to take that chance with you Katrina. For me, there is no one but you. Will you marry me?" He asked as he presented her with a solitaire diamond ring.

"Austin, are you sure?" She whispered. His heart dropped; she was going to say no. Austin stood. He began to pace, "I'm not him. I won't pretend to be him. I know Kyle was your first..." Katrina stopped him.

"Austin, yes. I will marry you. Yes!" She answered. 

He froze, and for a moment he looked confused. "Wait, yes. You said yes." He cheered.

Katrina leaped into his arms. He kissed her passionately as she caressed his back. He had to touch her and his hands had a mind of their own. Within seconds they were naked, chest up. Katrina reached for his belt and he stopped. "No, not yet, Baby, how soon can we have a wedding?" He asked.

Katrina laughed, "Vegas, there's no waiting. Here at the church at least four weeks. But if we have something private, two weeks at the longest."

Austin lay back, gathering his wits. "OK, we'll have a private ceremony. I'll ask David to officiate. I love you, and I need you to go, now." He added.

Katrina laughed. "What? It's early." She exclaimed.

"Yes, it is and I'm a man. I can resist my need for a little while, but if you stay longer, we will cross the line. You know what the bible says. So for our sake, I need you to go home. Call me when you get there and I'll see you first thing. I'm picking you up for breakfast." He explained.

Katrina realized that he was serious. He was afraid of making love to her too soon. "OK, I'll go." She replied meekly. Austin caught her hand and pulled her into his arms. "Never doubt the fact that I want you." He kissed her once more. Molding his body into hers, he communicated his passion. Katrina melted. 

She could not wait to see if he could keep the silent promises that he made. Soon, they held each other until they calmed. Then Austin walked her to her car, and waited until she drove off. He smiled,  She said yes.  He had to call David.

Katrina drove home. She had to call someone. She detoured and went to her mother's home. As she knocked her mom came to the door. Katrina entered and was not surprised to see Deacon Brown there. 

"Momma, I have great news." She boasted as she rushed in.

Then Deacon Brown spoke. Katrina stared at him and he stood to leave. "Wait. Deacon Brown, I am sorry to interrupt. Momma, I'll call." Katrina turned to leave.

Beulah crossed her arms. "Spill it. What?" 

Katrina smiled and held up her hand, and Beulah gasped. 

Grabbing her hand, Beulah declared that the ring was beautiful. "He proposed. My baby is getting married."

Deacon Brown smiled and offered congratulations. He was truly happy for her. "Deacon Brown, thank you." Katrina gushed.

"Girl, I've told you and your brother to call me Albert." He declared grinning.

Beulah laughed as she hugged her daughter. "Have you told David?" She asked.

"Not yet, Momma. I'm calling Lana when I get home." Katrina explained. "I'd better go. You two enjoy the rest of your evening." Then she left.

Soon, Katrina entered her house, dialing Lana's number.

Lana answered screaming. "Austin called David. You witch. Why didn't you call right away? We have to plan this."

Katrina laughed and she and Lana would get together over the weakened. As she hangs yup, Austin called. "Beautiful, are you home?"

Katrina gasped. "Yes."

"Love you." He replied. 

"I love you." Katrina whispered.

Two weeks later, Austin and Katrina were getting married. Neither one was willing to wait. The ceremony would be small, family only. Elder Rainey agreed to officiate as David was walking his sister down the aisle. Austin's parents flew in and were so happy for their son. For as long as they remembered, Austin was in love with Katrina.

The wedding was simple. Lana was the matron of honor and David had double duty; escorting his sister and serving as best man.

Katrina wore a simple ivory gown with a lace veil. The form fitting dress, flattered her frame. Austin was enthralled. As they stood before the altar, Austin thanked God for bringing this woman to him.

Elder Rainey lead them through the vows, and soon Austin kissed his bride, Mr. and Mrs. Austin Howsey were introduced to the world.

After the ceremony, Austin took his brides hand kissed her knuckles. Katrina chuckled. She had one thing on her mind. For months this man drove her insane. She wanted him, but she respected his beliefs.




Letting Go



"Love a few more hours, and then we can be alone." Austin whispered. 

Arriving at the local community center, Katrina's Mom and her friends from the church had decorated beautifully. Katrina and Austin entered, and Katrina was speechless. Lana asked her to leave the reception to her and her sister went above and beyond.

The party was just friends and family, but Lana had decorated the room beautifully. The newlyweds were welcomed and seated in the center of the room. David gave his toast. Lana spoke to the couple after her husband. Katrina cried, as she basked in the love of her family. Soon they ate and after the meal, it was time for the first dance. Soon the mellow sounds of John Legend filled the air.

Austin held his wife close as they swayed to the music. Soon, no one existed in their space and Austin kissed his wife once more. The cheers of their relatives broke their trance and soon the other couples joined in. The party lasted a few hours and then Austin and Katrina went home. Austin would move in after their honeymoon. He was not sure at first, but Katrina talked and they decided that it was practical. 

The newly married couple walked to the door, and Austin unlocked the door. In a smooth move, he lifted his wife and carried her onto their home. Placing her down, Austin looked at his bride. Katrina smiled, and Austin said nothing.

She moved and extended her hand. "Come on.""

Austin took her hand as she led him to their bedroom. Carefully, Katrina unfastened her dress, as she was about to let the dress drop. Austin groaned. Standing before him wearing next to nothing.

Austin was captivated as Katrina removed his tie, unbuttoned his shirt, and helped him out of his suit. "Austin, remember the promises you made." She whispered.

Austin groaned, "Time to keep them."

Lifting his wife, Austin kissed her. Placing her on the scanter of their bed, he stood and admired her beauty. Soon he crawled over her and nibbled her skin. She moved beneath him as he feasted on her chocolate nipples. No longer shy, his hand slid between her thighs cupping her sex. Katrina groaned and gripped his member. Stroking him slowly as he caressed her, Austin willed his body not to climax just yet. Austin could wait no longer, spreading her legs; he kneeled between them and looked up at her. Katrina watched him her body a sensation of nerves.

"I've waited many years for this. Let me indulge myself. I promise to make this everything you ever dreamed of." then he tasted her heat. Stroking her with his tongue, drinking her sweetness, Austin savored the taste of his wife. No woman would ever be as sweet, as perfect for him as she was.

Never wanting the night to end, Austin pleasured his wife until she came apart beneath his tongue. He could wait no longer, as she came down from her last climax, Austin entered her heat. The feel of his wife's hot sheath gripping him pushed him to the edge. Austin froze. 

"Begging him to move, Katrina stroke her body accepting his member. He felt so good. He filled her perfectly. 

"Austin, I need to cum" She moaned.

"Austin could not talk at the moment. The feel of her heat rendered him speechless. Slowly Austin began to move. Sliding in and out of her body, Katrina groaned. Her husband was a fantastic lover. "Faster." She moaned and he began to pump more rapidly. Soon, Austin felt his member quicken, He was about to climax, Katrina moaned and Austin flew. Shaking, he filled her with his seed. 

Holding her close, her body draped over him, Austin smiled. "Next time, will be better."

Katrina kissed her husband. "Tonight was perfect. And in about thirty minutes, I want to do that again."

Austin laughed and whispered, "Babe, give me five minutes." Katrina squealed as her husband kept his promise.

The next morning, Austin awoke. Katrina was making them breakfast. Austin joined his wife, hugging her close. Katarina melted in his embrace. Austin told her he loved her again. They were already packed and David was coming at nine to take them to the airport for their trip. The couple was headed to Maui for a two week honeymoon courtesy of Austin's parents. 

Before David arrived, Katrina tasted her husband. So as he sat and enjoyed a hearty breakfast, she kneeled and feasted on him. Katrina loved tasting his cock. It was glorious. Austin knew that there was nothing his wife would not do to make him happy. As she massaged his member with her tongue, taking him into the deep recesses of her mouth, loved the taste of his cock.

Forgetting breakfast, Austin held the back of her head, as he felt his cock slide deeper and deeper, then she gagged. His cock jumped. Her saliva coated him, and he found himself moving. She moaned and he slipped in deeper. 

Then it happened. He had never experienced anything like it in his life. He could no longer hold back and with a shout, he came down her throat. His amazing woman swallowed every drop 

She laid her head on his lap and he remembered how to breathe.

'

"You didn't eat?" She accused. 

"Oh babe, I'm about to feast now." He added. Placing her on the table in front of him Austin spread her thighs and simply looked at her. She wore no panties and her dark lips were already wet with her juices. 

"I'm about to taste the sweetest nectar of all." he whispered, and then he licked her. Katrina trembled. She forgot about the dishes he had pushed to the side as she came on her husband's tongue. Austin was not done. He wanted her to come a few more time, as he flicked her, nibbled, sucked, and teased her into a quivering mass of flesh.

Katrina was his, and he wanted her to know that from this point on, she never had to wonder. She came, her fluids flowing freely across his tongue and he greedily drank every drop.

Both exhausted, soon realized the time. Rushing into the nearest bathroom, they showered and dressed quickly. Austin finished first, just as David and Lana rang the doorbell. David saw the dining room table and laughed. 

"GO finished getting yourself together, Lana and I will clean this up." Lana laughed and Austin, who was embarrassed, went back in the bedroom. Soon they were on a plane headed to their special destination.

EPILOGUE

Three years later, Austin was preaching the morning sermon. David was new head pastor, but this day was special. He and Lana were at the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first daughter. Their sons were at church with Katrina and Austin.

Katrina really wanted to be at the hospital, but Momma was there. "DJ, Corey, be quiet." She admonished.

The three and two year old looked up and saw that their aunt was serious. So the two boys stopped playing. Katrina had her phone but was checking it every few minutes. It vibrated and she saw it was Mom. Touching Sister Geraldine, she asked her to watch her nephews as she quietly walked out.

As soon as she entered the hall, she answered, "Hello, Momma"

"You have a new niece. David came out. He said she's perfectly fine. Lana is ok." Beulah boasted. Standing with her was Deacon Brown, or Albert. 

"We are going in to see them in a few minutes. Tell everybody that I have a new granddaughter." He shouted. Katrina laughed. One of the deacons walked up, and she told him the great news. She wrote a quick not e and asked him to give it to Austin.

Katrina went back inside and took control of her nephews. Sister Geraldine held Corey while she made DJ sit with her. Austin finished his message and gave the altar call. Several members went up and he prayed. However right before he dismissed he had an announcement. 

Pastor David and his wife welcomed their daughter, Angelica this morning. Both mother and daughter were doing fine." The congregation cheered. Soon everyone was leaving and Austin was driving his family to the hospital.

Sister Geraldine stopped them. She had something to say. "Pastor Austin, I have a problem with you. Sister Katrina here is doing too much and that's not good. She needs help. Staring Monday, the sister board is coming over to help her with keeping the house and watching the boys. She needs to rest. She's expecting and you need to take better care of her."

Katrina was about to speak when she stopped her. "I know I was hard on you before. But the truth be told, that divorce was not your fault. Pastor Austin is the man God chose for you and we can respect that. But that doesn't mean I'll bite my tongue when I see he can do better. "

Katrina smiled and simply hugged the older woman, Sister Geraldine hugged her back. Then the family left and arrived at the hospital where the two boys would meet their sister.

Katrina entered the room and met her niece for the first time. Angelica was beautiful. The room was crowded so Katrina decided to step out for a bit. She decided to take the boys to grab a snack. 

"Katrina, hi. um, how are you?" a small voice asked.

Katrina looked around and into the face of the girl that ruined her first marriage.

"Jasmine, hi. You're a nurse now?" She asked surprised.

Jasmine smiled, "Yes, can I talk with you for a minute? We can sit in there." She indicated an empty waiting area. 

Katrina looked around, "Um sure, DJ, Corey, come on." she called carrying their snacks. 

They entered and the kids sat and ate their treats. 

Jasmine spoke quickly. "I'm sorry. I was wrong, even though at the time, I don't know it. I had no right to get involved with your husband. I know words are meaningless, but I want you to know that I never wanted anyone to be hurt."

Katrina just looked at her, "No, you knew he was married. You knew , and you still got involved with him. Why?"

Jasmine sighed, "Kyle was so handsome and so charming. I knew he was married and the first time he approached me, I refused him. But then he started complimenting me, giving me small gifts." Jasmine looked embarrassed. "After a few months, we started staying late at work. You would stop by and leave and he'd make up reasons for us to stay."

"I had intention of falling in love with your husband, but I did." She began to pace."One night, you two had a fight and he called. I met him and that was our first time. We continued and then you found out."

"The truth is I loved him, and I could not give him up. I hate that you got hurt, but I loved him." Jasmine sighed.

Katrina took a deep breath. She smiled. "Actually, Jasmine, thank you, I loved Kyle, but he was not the man for me. By leaving me for you, I was free to find my husband, my Austin. So know this, I'm not angry or even upset. I'm happy for you and Kyle. You both deserve to be happy." Katrina smiled and caressed her burgeoning baby bump where her son or daughter was growing. She and Austin decided not to learn the sex of the baby early, they wanted to be surprised.

Jasmine smiled, and hugged her. She sighed, "Thank you, Katrina. I can forgive myself now."

Katrina laughed, "How are the twins?" 

Jasmine smiled, "They are good. Kyle has both of them spoiled rotten." Katrina smiled. She was actually happy for Jasmine. A lot had happened in the last year. Kyle denied paternity of the twins and test were done. Jasmine's uncle went after Kyle. The babies were tested and they learned without a doubt that Kyle was their father. 

Jasmine was hurt, but she realized something. She was too dependent on her husband. She went back to school. Katrina was happy to see that she was now a nurse. The women laughed as Jasmine shared pictures of her children. Soon, her nephews reminded her that they wanted to see their sister. 

They left the waiting area and Katrina went back to Lana's room. David and Austin held the boys as each one talked with their sister.

Austin noticed that Katrina looked a bit worn "Babe, sit. Don't do anything else." She was carrying his son or daughter. There was no way he was not caring for his wife.

Katrina smiled. Then she looked up. Thank you, she sent. 

She swore she heard a voice whisper, back  You're welcome.

 THE END

Thank you for reading. Please share your thoughts.



Letting Go, and Grabbing Hold



***

Author's Note: I would like to thank everyone who read my first story and especially those who left so much encouraging and positive feedback -- I was really overwhelmed with the sheer volume and magnitude of positivity I received. Thank you all so much! 

Incidentally, by way of responding to the most common question I received about my first story: No, that story did not happen to me -- but Jessica is my real name, and I do look like the girl in that story. I altered the real "Jessica" (not her real name) to be me, for two reasons -- one, to make it easier to write in the first person, which isn't my most natural mode of writing; and two, well, suffice it to say that if you'd ever met "Diane", you'd know why I love to fantasize about being in "Jessica's" place. Since everyone who read that story got the pleasure (I hope) of hearing it, I got the pleasure of imagining it happening to me for a little while.

Anyway, since things seemed to go pretty well the first time, here's my second story -- this one, unlike the first, is a work of almost complete fiction, and is quite a bit lighter than the first. If you shouldn't be reading adult material, don't read this. Otherwise, please enjoy.

***

So...relationships suck, right?

Okay, I'll admit, I was a hopeless romantic. Still am. Back then, though, I was in one of those phases where I wasn't. You know where those phases happen -- right after a relationship rears up and bites you on the ass, right? Pretty much.

I had just broken up with my girlfriend. Nice girl, sweet as hell, but with this pesky habit of hooking up with her ex-boyfriend whenever she got drunk. Really annoying. The first time, I got past it -- I figured, you know, that she was freaking out about getting serious, and so on. The second time, I thought it was really uncalled for, but what can I say, I loved her. The third time, she got pregnant. That pretty much killed the romance for me.

As chance had it, my best friend Caitlyn had just broken up with her boyfriend too -- which really surprised me. She and I had been sharing an apartment since graduating together -- we had shared a dorm in college, and it had worked out pretty well. The apartment was definitely an upgrade from the dorm room -- separate bedrooms were a luxury -- but it was still a pretty cheap place, since neither of us was making much money yet. Cheap, as in thin walls. Very thin. Tissue paper. If I'd rubbed something greasy on the walls, they would have turned transparent.

For night after night, I'd have to listen to her and her boyfriends. Don't get me wrong -- I can totally understand why men were always around -- Caitlyn's a knockout. About eight inches taller than I am -- almost six feet tall. Dirty blonde hair to her shoulders, green eyes, and a great body -- she was the star of the college swim team. To her credit, she wasn't easy -- she put those boys through hell before she let them in her bed -- but once they were there, they certainly weren't in hell anymore. Caitlyn, as far as I could tell without ever having watched, was loud, responsive, and creative. When you hear shock in a former college quarterback's voice at what a girl's doing in bed -- well, I can't even guess.

My romantic life, on the other hand, involved far less fireworks. I've been told I'm pretty, which is good enough for me. I'm short and wiry, with very dark hair but big light blue eyes, a startling combination I've always liked. I'm slim, but with enough curves that, in T-shirt and jeans, I look like a girl. Again, good enough for me. I've refused to wear a skirt or a dress since I was ten. I played tennis and field hockey, and wore my hair boy-short until I graduated college. I've always been relatively feminine, but needless to say, I was never really "in the closet".

Anyway, after my latest breakup, I decided I wanted to get away for a while. Since Caitlyn had just broken up too...hold on, that reminds me. I hadn't figured out yet why Caitlyn had broken up with her boyfriend. They'd been going out for more than six months, and rather than just a lot of "oh, baby" and "don't stop" from her bedroom at night, I'd been hearing a lot of "oh god, I love you" and "yes, darling, more, more". Then it was over. I figured the usual would happen: she'd pretend it was mutual, then have a drink or two and sob to me about how he dumped her -- or how she found him chained to the wall being whipped by his sixty-year-old gay lover. Not kidding.

So I wanted to get away for a while -- at least long enough so that my ex-girlfriend could figure out I didn't want to see ultrasound pictures -- and Caitlyn was in the same place, so we found a trip we could take together where we would be totally isolated from the world for a while. We flew out to the Caribbean, and found Ellis Tours.

Ellis Tours was really just a couple with a boat who wanted to make money cruising around the islands they loved anyway, so they would take on a half-dozen passengers or so and float around the Caribbean for a few weeks. They gave us a great deal -- apparently, they saw a lot of recently broken-up passengers on their boat.

Oh, by the way, if you want to know more about their boat, don't ask me. I don't know much about boats. It was big. It seemed to be made largely of wood, and it had some number of sails. We didn't actually "sail" very often -- apparently, it moved slower when using its engine, and a slow cruise was the whole point, so Carla and Don didn't use the actual sails much. A boat with a motor and a steering wheel doesn't take that much of a crew, either, so we weren't expected to contribute much other than untying the occasional rope or turning a crank or whatever. I didn't pay much attention. I wouldn't have picked a boat, myself -- they're obviously not really my thing -- but Caitlyn had always wanted to take a cruise, so there we were.

Carla and Don Ellis owned the boat -- she was Latina of some variety, and gorgeous. Tall, leggy, dark hair, medium-dark skin, big grin. Don was white under his tan, and built like a linebacker. Tall, huge shoulders, powerful build. Surprisingly for a man that size, he was actually pretty sweet -- quiet, calm, and upbeat, as though he were the biggest, strongest high school guidance counselor that ever lived. They were a great couple -- very much in love, constantly touching and kissing.

Our fellow passengers were a pretty mixed little group. Robert was just a middle-aged man on vacation -- he seemed like a lawyer, or a stock broker, or something. Tim was a college student working on some kind of research project -- at least, that's what he claimed. I think he was just one of those enterprising types who found a way to get college credit for going on vacation. Lucy was a tiny girl -- even shorter than I am -- with the darkest skin I'd ever seen, but big soft pretty eyes and a shy smile. I admit that she caught my eye right away -- but I wasn't here to rebound.

Oh, and there was Chris, too -- Chris was a skinny redheaded girl with a thick Irish brogue and a great laugh, but she had a fiancé back home. Apparently, there was also a friend who was supposed to come with her, but didn't show. Chris decided to go anyway, since her tickets were non-refundable. I applauded the instinct -- even if unavailable, she was pretty, and I've always had a thing for an Irish accent. Then again, who doesn't?

We all got on the boat, with the usual round of introductions and small talk, and found cabins. Aside from the master suite where Don and Carla slept, there were two double cabins and two smaller cabins -- closets, really, with bunks in them. No one much cared -- we'd only be sleeping there, after all. Robert and Tim, as the only other men on board, took one of the doubles, while Caitlyn and Chris shared the other -- Lucy was shy about sharing a room, and Caitlyn and I hadn't flown several thousand miles just to share a tiny room again, so she was happy to stay with Chris. The two of them hit it off right away. Lucy and I had the single cabins to ourselves.

As the boat left the little port -- a lovely little seaside town with a great many smiling people, which is a very nice way to start a voyage -- we all changed. The men just wore their swim trunks all the time, of course, while Caitlyn and Chris wore bikinis with tank tops or light t-shirts over them. Lucy and I wore thin shirts and shorts, what I called our "boat clothes", as opposed to what we wore to go swimming. I'd brought a swimsuit, as had Lucy, but didn't want to lie around in it for days on end.

So the eight of us sailed -- or cruised, or whatever -- out onto the big bright blue ocean, with a lovely sunny day beaming down on us. Within minutes of lying on the deck chatting with everyone, I felt months of tension draining away. There is no feeling quite like being in the middle of nowhere with interesting people and absolutely nothing else to do.

After several hours, Chris and Caitlyn had settled in for some serious sunbathing, while Lucy was playing cards with Robert and Tim and Don, and I found myself sitting with Carla near the little room where all the boat's controls are. Again, don't ask -- there were levers and wheels and buttons, and some lights. That's about all I know. If we'd hit a storm or something and I'd had to steer the boat for more than three seconds, we wouldn't have survived.

"...and things just obviously weren't going to work out," I finished the long, depressing story of my breakup -- believe me, the abbreviated version you've heard is quite enough.

Carla shook her head. "Some people never learn," she sighed. "We had a nice couple out here last time who were trying to patch things up after one of those. I don't think either of them spent a night in their own cabin -- or with each other -- the whole trip."

I laughed. "How efficient -- they got their rebounds out of the way while they were still in the middle of the relationship."

She laughed as well -- I liked her laugh. Very soft but very open and friendly, and her brown eyes sparkled when she laughed. "Tell me this, though -- why did a smart girl like you give her three chances?"

I winced. "I'm probably too romantic for my own good."

"Ah, don't ever say that," she nudged me playfully with her elbow. "Can never be too romantic." She grinned. "Don's never given up being romantic."

"It's easier when you're as happy as you two are, I think."

"Well, yes," she admitted. "The trick is to find things you both enjoy, and enjoy them as much as you possibly can."

"Like cruising around the ocean?"

"Exactly." She nodded, reaching past me to do something with the controls. As she leaned past me, she glanced at my eyes, which surprised me. The last time anyone had looked at my eyes that way I'd...well, ended up looking at ultrasound pictures. I resolved to assume it was just a curious look.

"Could you find Don for me?" She asked then.

"Oh, sure," I got up, still a little confused, but I had shaken it off by the time I got back up on deck and made my way forward to where Don was sitting with the other two guys and Lucy. "Hey, Don?" They'd insisted that they'd throw anybody who used "sir", "ma'am", or their last names off the boat.

He looked up at me, smiling that big toothy grin of his. "Hey there, lovely." He called all us girls by some complimentary term. I suspected at the time that it had more to do with a bad memory than any real desire to compliment us. I know now I was wrong -- he just honestly loved women of all types -- but that's what I thought at the time. I still liked it, though. What girl doesn't like being called lovely?

"Carla needs you," I reported.

"Oh, sure." He glanced down at his cards and slapped them down on the deck. "I had crap anyway." He got up, and stepped past me on his way to join his wife at the controls.

"Hey, Ashley," Tim greeted me. "Want to join us? We could use a real fourth -- Don's a terrible poker player." Robert nodded enthusiastically.

Lucy just smiled shyly up at me. I shrugged. "No, thanks." I stretched, looking up at the sunny sky. "I think I'll find a quiet spot for a nap."

Robert smiled. "Good idea." I half-expected him to ask if I needed company, but he had some class.

I wandered away, but halfway up the ship toward the back -- or stern, whatever, leave me alone about the boat -- I heard footsteps behind me.

"Hey, Ash."

I turned, smiling. "Oh, hey, Cait. Got enough sun?"

Caitlyn smiled. "Of course not. I have three weeks of sun to soak up before we go back to dear old dreary home."

I shook my head. "You're going to look like leather when you're forty -- you know that, right?"

"The pool boy under me won't mind," she smirked.

"You'll look terrible in leopard print, though," I told her.

She laughed. It was something of a running joke between us that she looked forward to being a cougar more than she looked forward to any current relationship. It was a good humorous way for her to look past whatever moron had broken her heart this time. 

She stepped up to me, squinting. "What's that in your hair?"

"What?" I reached up, frowning -- and discovered a little pale pink rose blossom stuck behind my right ear. I stared at it. When the hell had that happened?

"I didn't think you were a flowers-in-the-hair kind of girl."

I snorted and shook my head. "I'm not...I didn't put it there."

"Oh, really now?" Caitlyn raised an eyebrow. "You matched up with someone already? That's quick for you."

"I did not!" I said indignantly.

Caitlyn laughed. "Sure...oh, I believe you." She stepped past me, rolling her eyes, and I stared after her indignantly. "It looks good, though," she shot teasingly over her shoulder as she left.

"I didn't put it there!" I called after her, and looked at the flower for a long moment before tucking it back behind my ear, desperately trying to remember if I'd put it there. It didn't really seem like something I would do.

I wasn't paying much attention when I made my way to the back of the deck where there were a couple of lounge chairs set up in partial shade from the tallest part of the ship. I tugged one of the lounge chairs over into the shade -- I don't tan, I burn -- and sprawled out comfortably on my stomach, in a position where I could stare out at the ocean behind the ship as we cruised along, enjoying the sea breeze and the sound of the waves. There was a faint rumbling from the ship's motor, but I didn't mind it -- I like a little cover noise when I sleep.

There's something about sleeping on a boat when you're not used to it -- your dreams get really bizarre. I remember only pieces of my dreams, but they all had a common theme -- at some point in all of them, someone was stroking my hair. That didn't seem normal.

When I woke, the sun was a bit lower in the sky, but there were two other lounge chairs pulled up around me. Lucy was asleep on one, with Carla on the other. I remembered the dreams, and the sensation of having my hair stroked, along with the flower in my hair, and I wondered.

***

That night, I discovered something else about sleeping on boats -- they usually don't have air-conditioning. It gets hot in the Caribbean -- which is fine during the day -- but you'd think that once the sun went down, it would get cooler. Maybe it does in the resort spots -- probably why they put the resorts there, I suppose -- but where we were, it didn't get cool. It stayed hot. If I didn't know better, I would have said it got hotter. There was some kind of fan system that circulated air through the boat so it wasn't too stuffy, but it was still very warm inside. I began the night climbing onto the bed in my t-shirt and shorts -- but it didn't take long for me to realize that I was going to broil that way. So I stripped off the t-shirt and the shorts.

Now, understand me, I'm not much a girl for nudity -- I'm actually pretty shy about it -- and I don't usually sleep in so little even when I'm sleeping with someone, but I just couldn't stand the suffocating clothes. In just my panties and a thin sheet over me, I tossed and turned in the heat, trying to fall asleep.

This time...my dreams were not cooling me off. Not so much weird as...unrelenting. I writhed through dream after dream of bare skin, hot slick flesh, warm lips. I heard moans in my ear...soft, slow moans, gasping, quick moans, and those deep moans of satisfaction that follow a really incredible orgasm. My dream lovers were the faceless type -- I wasn't dreaming about anyone in particular -- but I couldn't shake them. I woke up once, and probably would have done something about my arousal, but I felt unaccountably shy about doing that in a strange place. You know that feeling, right?

I fell back asleep, and the dreams continued, one after another. Hot, bare bodies pushed against mine, warm lips covered me, and hands explored my body in ways I could never remember feeling in real life. Somewhere in the middle, though, the dreams stopped being tortured. More of the moans in the dream became mine. I arched against caressing fingers, met soft, eager lips with my own, and ran my fingers through soft hair. I felt strong hands on my back, lifting me, and soft hands on my legs, opening me. I felt that delicious, spasmodic thrusting of a truly eager lover, and the warm, wondering feeling of a girl's lips during a first night together.

Finally, in my dream, I did something I don't think I'd ever done in a dream before. I came. Hard. I arched against those lips, bucked my hips frantically against that wonderful, magical touch, and squealed through an orgasm that left me breathless, trembling -- and snapped me awake.

I almost sat up, but my body was too deliciously heavy to move. I felt sated and drowsy the way only truly good sex can make you feel. I didn't have to check to know that my panties were soaked, but I did know that the sheet was almost completely off my body -- I'd writhed around so much in my sleep that the sheet was twisted around one leg, leaving the rest of me bare. I managed to move just enough to pull the sheet back over myself, and moaned softly as I lay back. The room was so dark -- without the internal lights on, and no external lights to intrude, the cabin was pitch black. The only sound was my lightly panting breath.

I really needed to find someone who could make me feel like that again. If only they really existed.

***

The next morning, the boat was still a boat, and the ocean was still out there doing its ocean thing -- you know, waves, a few birds, that kind of thing. Caitlyn and I were lounging on the chairs at the stern. Lucy was asleep not far away.

"Wow." Caitlyn ran a hand through her hair. "That's some kind of dream."

"No kidding." I sighed, stretching my legs out. I still couldn't make myself move too fast.

"Lucky girl."

I snorted. "Yeah, right -- I came here to get away from those kinds of complications."

"What complications? Sounds like somebody -- in your dream, anyway -- made you come really, really hard. What's complicated about that?"

I snorted again. "You know I'm not really about that, right? I mean, a little rebound here and there is a healthy thing -- but I'm not looking for that."

Caitlyn looked over at me, confused. "Looking for what?"

I flushed slightly. "It felt...real. Like there was something real there." Caitlyn looked blank. "I mean," I went on lamely, "it's not like it was just sex, there was...something. I don't know how else to say it."

"Hmm." Caitlyn shrugged. "It was just a dream. Probably that romantic part of you attaching something else to it to make it hotter for you."

"Good point." I grinned. "It certainly added something to it."

She laughed. "Sounds like it. I wish I could have a dream like that."

"If we stew in our little saunas every night for three weeks, you probably will."




Letting Go, and Grabbing Hold



Lucy snorted in her sleep, rolling onto her side facing us. Her tiny face looked very cute and peaceful in her sleep.

Caitlyn looked at the girl, then at me, and jerked her head in Lucy's direction.

I frowned. "What?" I mouthed. I'm not sure why we weren't talking aloud, given that I had just described an erotic dream in detail right in front of the sleeping girl, but...

She just jerked her head at the tiny girl again, arching an eyebrow. That look I recognized. I scoffed, waving a hand.

"Why not?" Caitlyn asked bluntly.

I shook my head. "That's...it's just crazy, in like twelve different ways."

Caitlyn rolled her eyes upward. "Dear...Ash, you have got to learn to let go every so often."

"We've had this discussion before," I shrugged.

"Yes, we have." Caitlyn looked at me directly. "I'm not talking about your general life -- I know it's tricky in real life. Here you are on vacation, though. Middle of nowhere, lots of romantic views, stifling heat that seeps into you...what more invitation did you need to live a little?"

I thought about that. It was hard to deny the logic. "Well, sure, but...I mean, I can't just go about..." I looked at Lucy and made some sort of incomprehensible gesture.

"Why not?" Caitlyn demanded again.

"Just drop it, Cait," I sighed, leaning my head back and closing my eyes again.

Caitlyn just shrugged and leaned back as well, and we settled back into the peaceful quiet we'd been enjoying all morning.

At midday, we all gathered for lunch. Everybody was definitely more relaxed now -- Chris was laughing with Caitlyn and Carla about something, and Lucy was giggling with Tim and Robert. Don was off taking care of the boat.

After a while, I got up and wandered away from the others, standing along the side of the ship, looking out at the sea.

"Hey there, lovely," a voice said from behind me.

I half-turned. "Oh, hi Don."

He stepped up beside me. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

I shrugged, attempting a polite smile. "It's been great, so far."

He nodded, smiling. "Good. I know it's tough to loosen up at first. You'll get there, though," he said confidently. "They all do."

I couldn't help but smile for real this time. "You really enjoy making people happy, don't you?"

"We both do," Don said, smiling. "Have you ever tried it?"

"With mixed success," I said wryly.

He laughed. "No -- not for romance, or for love, or for a friend. Just to be happy -- for a time."

"Why is everybody being my therapist today?" I complained.

He laughed again, reached out, and brushed my hair back over my ear, and I was surprised all over again, wondering if I had forgotten everything I thought I had learned about flirting. Then he wandered away, whistling, and I stared after him, horribly confused.

I headed back to the others eventually, and we enjoyed another quiet afternoon of contemplation, sunbathing, and sleep. This time, when I woke up from my afternoon nap, there was only one person nearby -- Carla. She sat propped up nearby, reading from a thick novel.

She glanced over at me, smiling when she saw I was awake. "Nice nap?"

I smiled sleepily. "I'll say. The boat really does rock you to sleep, doesn't it?"

"Only if you want to sleep," she said, winking, "otherwise...well it helps other things, too."

I chuckled a bit nervously. "I wouldn't know."

"No? You should try it." She grinned again, going back to her book.

"I don't get on boats very often," I sighed, leaning back with my arms crossed behind my head.

"You're on one now," she pointed out.

I looked over at her. "Well, yeah, but alone."

"You're not alone," she said musingly. "There's Robert, or Tim, your friend Caitlyn is nice...Chris is taken, but Lucy's not."

I grinned. "Right...so all I have to risk is total embarrassment and being stuck on a boat for three weeks with a bunch of people who rejected me."

She just laughed, but I laughed with her.

After an otherwise quiet afternoon, we gathered again for a very pleasant dinner, and then lounged about the deck socializing. The cards came out again, and Robert and Tim got Carla and Lucy and Chris playing. Caitlyn went back to her sunbathing for what was left of the day's light, leaving me relatively alone again. I didn't feel like playing, but I sat nearby, watching the game, enjoying the general company without really joining in.

I sighed deeply, stretching and running my fingers through my hair, leaning my head back against the railing with my eyes closed, enjoying the swaying of the ship and the lively conversation nearby.

"Now, see, lovely, you don't look like you're having fun, now," a voice said very close in my ear, and I jumped, looking at Don, who had somehow snuck up and sat next to me without my noticing, his big frame seeming even more giant so close to mine.

I smiled. "No, I am, really -- I just feel like being quiet."

"Ah, well...there's a time for quiet." Don looked around, then back at me, lowering his voice. "No one's bothering you, are they?"

I laughed, shaking my head and touching his arm, trying to reassure him. He was such a conscientious host. "No, not at all. I'm just confused."

"Ah -- that's not all bad, you know." He grinned reminiscently. "Some of life's best discoveries are made when you're really confused." He winked. "Trust me on that."

***

That night, I lay again in my bed, confused and hot, waiting for sleep to claim me.

As I lay there, attempting to count sheep to see if that really worked, I realized one major drawback to the location of my cabin. It was next to the master suite. I couldn't hear much -- just a faint rhythmic thumping, and very faint voices.

I rolled over, pulling my pillow over my head, recalling my dreams from the night before. I remembered the wet heat of that night, the sensations of imaginary lips.

I heard a cry from the next room -- but the thumping didn't stop. I sighed in exasperation. They weren't helping.

I pulled the pillow down tighter, shuddering. My dream had been so realistic...that tongue on me, the hands on my thighs, holding me open. The warm, quick, excited breathing on my pussy.

"Ah...Don!" I heard.

I whimpered, rolling back onto my back -- the pillow wasn't muffling anything. Then, to my surprise, I fell asleep. At least, I think I did, because the dreams started again.

Once again, I writhed under lips that explored my legs, nibbling my thighs, and I eagerly arched my hips toward them. I felt hands holding my wrists, gently restraining me, so that those lips could tantalize me, sliding over my overheated skin. Not that I needed to be restrained to submit. Between Carla and Don's lovemaking in the next room -- in my dream, I could still hear Carla calling out in pleasure -- and Caitlyn's outrageous suggestion that I jump Lucy, I was in no mood to resist.

My pussy ached. I felt so warm, bathed in heat, bathed in sweat -- and soaked in need. I opened my legs wider, and that soft, supple mouth began searching my pussy, lips opening mine and a warm, wet tongue gently darting in, exploring. I moaned out, shuddering, my hips pulling away a tiny bit as if shocked at the power of that sensation, but the tongue just slid deeper, tracing my slit, and then plunged inside me.

I choked on a gasp, arching up. The sensation was so real -- was I awake? No, couldn't be. Who would be licking me in the middle of the night? My eyes widened -- it really did feel like real hands were holding mine down, though. I thought I could feel real shoulders -- smooth, silky female shoulders -- pressed against the inside of my knees. A real mouth tasting me, lips as soft as any I had ever felt, and a wonderfully wet, slippery tongue delving and diving into me. My thoughts fluttered quickly through shock, fear -- this couldn't be happening, or maybe it could, and if so who was it, and if so why were they doing this, and if it was real had it been real before and...and...and then that tongue traced a lazy circle over my clit, and need blanked everything else from my mind.

"Oh...oh god," I arched up with a gasping moan, my legs trembling as I spread them wider -- for now, I couldn't stop. There was time to figure this out later...right now, I was so close, well past the point of no return, when your body tells your brain to go shut up so it can explode.

That mouth sealed on me firmly, tongue lapping and swirling, and I lasted only seconds more, my legs tensing and my head thrown back as I cried out into the darkness, going into spasms and convulsing against that wonderful mouth, which devoured me with slurping, sucking licks as though I were the finest thing it had ever sampled.

I jerked, thrashing as my orgasm washed over me in huge, bone-jerking waves, and then went limp when it subsided, gasping and shaking, eyes wide but blind in the pitch blackness. I barely felt the weight lift off my bed, and I only dimly heard the click of my cabin door opening and closing. The last thing I remember thinking before I drifted off to an exhausted, sated sleep was wondering whether those noises were real, or if my dream were just making it up to drive me crazy.

There were no sounds coming from the next cabin anymore, for which I was grateful, but I couldn't really sleep. Instead, I lay there listening to the boat rocking in the water, wondering if I'd really been asleep.

***

The next morning at breakfast, I found myself searching every face for any sign of who might have visited me the night before. Those lips had been too silky, and the shoulders too soft, to have been male -- if they were real at all. I shook my head over my cereal -- leave it to my subconscious to confuse me even worse than I already was.

I knew it hadn't been Carla -- she and Don were as affectionate as newlyweds are after their wedding night. I looked at Lucy, but she seemed to be paying no attention to me whatsoever, talking to Don and Carla. I looked at Chris, but she was telling Caitlyn about her wedding plans -- hardly the conversation one would expect her to be having the next morning. Caitlyn herself looked bored, as if she couldn't wait for breakfast to be over so she could go sunbathe some more. Besides, I knew Caitlyn was straight, as was Chris. Logically, then, it had to have been Lucy -- or just a dream.

The only problem was how to figure it out -- what was I supposed to do, ask her?

"Hey, Lucy, you didn't happen to sneak into my room last night and lap my brains out, did you?"

Yeah, right. Except...I needed to feel that again.

Fortunately, I was soon distracted before I could horribly embarrass myself. Not long after breakfast, we reached the first of the islands on this lazy tour -- a tiny little islet that was obviously the top of some undersea mountain -- a spike of rock sticking straight out of some trees in the middle of nowhere.

We dropped anchor and went ashore, splashing up onto a beautiful white sand beach. The place looked like something out of a movie -- a few palm trees, a nice picturesque little mountain, a beach, and absolutely nothing else.

Caitlyn waded ashore and flopped onto her back, sighing as if she had found her permanent home. Lucy and Tim were still splashing water on each other offshore, while Robert wandered up toward the trees to explore. Carla and Don were still on the boat, doing whatever it is you do to make sure your boat doesn't float away on its own.

I stretched widely, with that lovely salt breeze caressing my face and whipping my hair around, felt the sand under my toes. I plodded up the beach to see what was around the corner of the island -- as it turned out, more beach. Go figure.

It was probably a measure of how relaxed I was feeling now that when Robert stumbled with a crash out of the trees to my left as I wandered up the beach, intending seriously to circumnavigate this island in the name of mankind, I didn't even jump.

"Graceful," I remarked, wincing as my natural sarcasm burst out of me at someone who might not find it funny.

Fortunately, Robert just laughed. "I know, I know, the Canadian judge would have really docked my score for that." He sighed, shaking his head. "I'd stay out of the brush, if I were you -- lots of prickly things." He balanced on one leg, pulling up one of his bare feet and looking mournfully at his now scraped-up sole.

"Thanks for the warning."

Robert glanced at me, and then up the beach, and I almost tensed up -- I didn't, I was still pretty relaxed, but I felt that twitch inside me like I wanted to tense up. I really didn't need to be hit on just then.

"Hey, Ashley, can I ask you something?"

I looked at him warily. "What?"

Robert grimaced slightly. "Listen, I was divorced a few years ago, so I'm kind of new at this."

I almost slumped. He was a divorcee -- emotionally fragile, especially for rejection. I wasn't constitutionally prepared for this.

He glanced up the beach back toward where the boat was. It wasn't that far away -- you could see a mast or something sticking up between the trees. "I can't tell as well as some guys can, but...do you think Tim might be gay?"

"Listen, I..." I broke off my improvised let-down speech and blinked. "What?" I looked at Robert more clearly -- he was flushed bright red. "Oh," I said lamely, sounding like a genius. How had I missed that? I can usually spot gay men a mile away.

He shrugged. "It's really no big deal," he said.

I grinned at him -- unlike him, I was now much more comfortable. "Yes, it is -- he is cute, isn't he? Wouldn't have pegged you for one to like the younger men."

He flushed deeper, and I almost hugged him. A handsome, sweet, probably rich, middle-aged gay man in good shape? How was he still single? "It's not like that," he murmured. "I just, you know..."

"You like him," I said teasingly, still grinning.

"Hey," he said in an injured tone.

I just laughed at him, punching him lightly in the arm. "I'm teasing. Honestly, I'm not sure if Tim's gay. I always thought I had a pretty good gaydar, but I didn't ping you at all, so I might just be generally on the fritz at the moment."

It was his turn to grin at me. "You do seem a bit scattered, if you don't mind my saying."

"Hey, I have a good reason," I said defensively.

"Do tell."

We wandered together back toward the beach -- both of us now feeling much more relaxed around each other, though for totally different reasons -- and I told him the whole sordid story. He made the appropriate sad, commiserating noises throughout.

"Well," he said brightly when I was done, "maybe they'll name the baby after you."

"Are you trying to make me sick up right here on the beach?"

We laughed together, and I felt much better. I realized that I had been seeing the whole group from behind a very weird lens -- a mix of emotional damage, need, desire, and general confusion. No wonder I'd figured they were bunch of whack jobs -- I was the whack job, and as an eloquent writer once put it: sometimes, when all you've got is a stick, everything looks like a kneecap.

By the time we got back to the part of the beach nearest the boat, people were just generally lazing around. Don and Tim were discussing marine wildlife of some sort. At my prompting, Robert went to join them. Lucy and Carla were busily hunting for seashells -- using Lucy's t-shirt as a bag. The sight of her in a bikini top and shorts served very nicely to wrench my mind back exactly to where I didn't need it to be.

Then Caitlyn appeared beside me, her eyebrows raised curiously. "So...you two were..."

I gave her a long steady look. "Well, we were having this really hot sex, when suddenly he realized I wasn't Tim and I realized he wasn't female."

Caitlyn blinked, and she gave Robert a surreptitious glance over her shoulder. "Wow, really? Never would have guessed that."

"Me neither," I said in annoyance, "and I can almost always spot it."

"Well, that makes things simpler." Caitlyn frowned, folding her arms across her chest. I found myself wishing for at least the thousandth time in my life that I could wear a bikini as casually -- and well -- as Caitlyn could.

"How does it make things simpler?" I asked, my thoughts catching up to her question.

"Well, it narrows your choices down to just one."

"My choices for what?" I asked pointedly, intentionally not understanding her.

Caitlyn looked at me flatly. "For getting you off until you can't walk normally, girl."

I blushed. "That's not what I'm here for."

"Well, then be here for that," Caitlyn said impatiently. "I don't want you moping around for the whole three weeks we're down here. You're a wreck."

I pouted slightly, folding my arms, and then looked sharply at her. "Hey, that reminds me -- why aren't you moping around? Your breakup was just as hard as mine."

"Nah, not really," she shrugged. "Things had run their course."

"That's not what I was hearing," I disagreed, "through those thin walls you mentioned."

Caitlyn lifted her chin. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"How many of your guys have you called 'darling', anyway?"

I had finally gotten her to blush. "None of your business." Caitlyn jerked her chin over at the others. "So, what are you going to do?"

"Nothing," I said firmly. "I'm here to relax -- that's it."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Suit yourself." She wandered away, and I glared after her. What made her so sure I wanted anybody on the boat?

Heading in the opposite direction, I found myself rather desultorily following Lucy and Carla up the beach, where their seashell collection had been steadily growing. Looking around, I spotted a pretty one they had missed and hurried to catch up with them.

"Here," I called, "don't forget this one."

They turned toward me, and Lucy smiled brightly as Carla grinned at me. "Nothing else to do, Ashley?" Carla asked with a grin.

I shrugged, smiling a little. "I can't seem to find the theme park, so..."

Lucy giggled -- not the brainless, whiny sort of giggle that annoys me, but an airy, breathy little hint of laughter that seemed to just bubble up inside her. I rather liked it.

"Well, join us," Carla said, gesturing for me to add the shell to the makeshift bag Lucy was carrying. "You have a good eye."

I slipped the shell carefully into the bag, glancing at Lucy's eyes as I did. Chocolate brown, melting soft...okay, I told myself, stop that!

I noticed Carla giving me a look, and gave her a rather exasperated one in return -- she just winked.

We wandered completely around the little island, collecting a respectable bag of seashells -- which I had no doubt we would leave behind anyway, since Carla and Don hardly needed fifty pounds of shells for anything. I caught Lucy looking at me a few times as we went, but my internal sense of those things was so badly screwed up at that point that I had no idea if she liked me or hated my guts.

Eventually, I noticed Carla more and more dropping out of the idle conversation -- and when she was talking, it was mostly to ask Lucy or me questions about ourselves. I figured out what she was doing, of course, but even though I gave her several warning looks, she ignored me and just kept doing it.

In a surprisingly short time, we reached the area of the beach where the others were lounging around, and Carla ran to join her husband, who was splashing around in the surf with Robert and Tim, doing I have no idea what. Lucy and I sat together in the sand, sorting through the seashells. What we were sorting them for, I can't even vaguely imagine, but we both seemed to feel that the bag needed order of some kind imposed on it.

"So, Ashley," Lucy said quietly -- she had a very soft voice, "do you have someone special back home?"

I shrugged. Neither of us was looking at the other. "No, not really. I broke up with my girlfriend recently."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, looking distressed at having asked.




Letting Go, and Grabbing Hold



I smiled reassuringly. "Don't be." I reached out automatically to touch her knee to let her know I hadn't been bothered. Mistake. Her skin was really smooth. I could have sworn I felt a twitch of reaction in her knee, too, when I touched it, but I squashed that whole line of thinking ruthlessly. I did not want to get involved. It would be just my luck to fall hard for some strange girl from who knows where, just to lose her after three weeks. No thanks.

"It's fine," I went on, returning my attention to the shells. "I just needed a change of scenery."

"This is definitely one of those," she smiled. "I love it down here -- I came with some friends last time. Carla and Don are really nice." Her eyes turned slightly distant. "Really nice."

I gave her a curious sort of look, but she just shrugged with a hint of a grin.

"They are," I agreed. "They've got a nice life carved out for themselves here."

"It's perfect," she nodded. "They just sail around, enjoying themselves."

I smiled at her, and she returned the smile -- that same shy smile, which tried to fight its way past my now rigid self-control but failed.

We kept sorting, talking about nothing much, until the sun was nearly ready to set.

"Lucy?" The call came from Don, somewhere up the beach.

"Oh, I should go see what he wants," Lucy said, rising to her feet. She looked down at me for a minute, then bent over and kissed my cheek, and hurried away before I could say anything. I just sat there numbly, watching her go, mentally cursing myself for not wanting anything on this trip, but knowing it just wasn't a good idea.

I sat there, rifling through the rest of the shells in the bag, while the sun went down and painted the ocean all sorts of amazing colors, many of whom for which I didn't even have names. Our little beach was on the southern side of the island, apparently, as the sun was setting off to our right, visible but not blazing in our eyes.

Don called for me a few minutes later, and I went to help set up for dinner. Don had a special grill thing that he built a fire for, and he started to cook a huge meal for us, kind of a beach banquet, with skewers of all sorts of meat and vegetables and things. I was starving -- my stomach kept rumbling. Tim, Caitlyn, and I circled the fire like vultures while Robert helped Don with the meal. I'm not sure where Lucy or Carla was. I didn't see them much for a while, but by this point, I was practically drooling all over myself with hunger. Lucy could have walked by naked, and I'm not sure I would have noticed.

We finally ate -- some of us attacking the food like wild animals -- and then lay about contentedly on the beach while the fire burned down. Don told us that the boat would stay anchored in the little cove all night, and that we could sleep either on the beach or on the boat, whichever suited us better. While I liked a mattress as much as the next city girl, I much preferred a beach to a sauna, so I decided to stay on the beach -- a nearly unanimous decision. We all took turns swimming out to the boat to shower and use the bathroom on board, but only Chris stayed on board to sleep.

The rest of us found comfortable spots in blankets on the sand and laid around as the stars came out and the world got very, very dark, with only the flickering fire and a couple of lights on the boat illuminating anything, along with that soft starlight. 

Caitlyn was out like a light right away -- she had always been a sound sleeper. Robert and Tim stayed up late near the fire playing cards with Don. Carla and Lucy were off wandering, getting in a walk to burn off some energy before sleeping.

That left me by myself to sleep -- or rather, to not sleep. I was actually a little frightened of my dreams at this point. It wasn't that they were sexual -- I liked that part just fine. It was the depth of the emotions behind them. The girl in my dreams wasn't just licking me -- she'd been savoring me. I wasn't just dreaming about some girl having sex with me -- I was dreaming about some girl making love to me. I already knew my sarcastic armor wasn't proof against that sort of thing. I could remember plenty of times, when I'd been in bed with a girl I wasn't sure of, I'd hear that breathing -- that quick, hitched breathing of excitement -- in my ear, and I'd fall head over heels.

Eventually, I gave up on sleep and wandered down the beach, finally finding a nice flat rock by myself to stare out at the ocean at night and think. It was a pretty incredible view -- dark, since I couldn't see the moon, but there was plenty of starlight to see by.

I watched the waves going in and out and whatnot, and thought about those dreams -- carefully separating the sex part. It wasn't just that the pleasure had been intense -- it was that the feelings had been equally intense. I had never felt like that before -- never, and I'd been in some pretty intense relationships.

Then I snorted to myself, shaking my head in disgust. Why was I even bothering? They were just dreams, for crying out loud.

"Ashley?"

I looked up in surprise -- Lucy was standing there, looking worried.

"Where's Carla?" I asked her. "I thought she was with you."

She shrugged. "Oh, she went to find Don."

I nodded, watching her. Her skin looked lovely in the starlight.

"Couldn't sleep?" She asked me, coming closer and sitting on the rock beside me.

"I haven't been able to sleep much since I got down here," I admitted.

She giggled a little bit. "Well, your cabin is the one next to Don and Carla's."

I grinned. "That was a bit of a problem last night."

She laughed. "I had the cabin next to theirs the last time I was down here."

I shook my head ruefully.

"Ashley?"

I looked at her. She leaned in, and brushed her lips against mine. I froze.

She pulled back, giving me that shy smile.

I looked at those soft brown eyes. "Look, Lucy..."

"No, not yet," she said almost clinically. "One thing, first."

"What?" I blurted, confused.

The one thing was a tiny, delicate, but very warm girl on my lap, with her arms around my neck, looking down at me seriously.

I realized my hands were on her waist, and didn't remember putting them there, but the warmth in those brown eyes was making it very difficult to think.

"Lucy..." I whispered warningly.

She just smiled, and she kissed me again, that same little brush, like a peck on the lips. This time I didn't freeze. She gave that tiny little breathy giggle, and kissed me again, a tiny kiss. She smiled that shy smile, and this time I returned it in spite of myself -- she was just too sweet not to smile at her. She leaned in, another tiny kiss, this time with a soft little whimper -- and then another, very quickly, and another. Not one deep or long kiss, but one soft little short kiss after another, interspersed with those little whimpers and smiles, wearing down my resistance until I slid my hands up her back and pulled her to me.

Now, all at once, the kiss was one of the deepest, hardest kisses I've ever experienced, her arms tight around my neck. She kept whimpering as she kissed me, too. Her hands scratched and tugged at my hair, her body pressed close against mine, rocking and thrusting on my lap, and her mouth kept moving each time she whimpered. I was taken off guard by just how excited she really was, but her sheer excitement started to unwind my self-control. Her lips were very soft, her tongue was very timid and gentle, drawing me to search for it, and her skin was like warm butter under my hands.

I started to really kiss her back, my lips parting hers and my tongue delving deeply, and she kept up those little whimpers until I started responding to them with little purring moans. Quite suddenly -- so abruptly that it took me by surprise -- all my confusion dropped away. I knew there was no love here -- just desire -- but my control trickled away, drowned in the simplicity of a warm, sweet, willing girl.

I don't remember undoing her bikini top, but I remember very well the hitches in her breathing as I nuzzled between soft breasts, tasting that warm chocolate skin and massaging her lower back to keep her loose and soft on my lap. I remember the feeling of her hair on my knees as she arched, her hands tangled in the hair at the back of my neck. I remember her trying to babble my name as I caught one taut little nipple between my lips and grazed it with my teeth.

Then I pulled back again, shuddering and rubbing my cheek on her flat stomach, almost in tears.

"Ashley?" Lucy whispered, sitting up, holding my head against her.

I looked up at her. "Lucy, I can't..." Then I blurted in surprise as I toppled backward onto the soft sand with a thump, Lucy on top of me.

"You can't, but I can..." Lucy breathed in my ear as she tugged my shirt up, and then slid her warm moist lips all over my neck. This was my undoing -- my neck has always been like a hair trigger for me. I bit my lip to hold in a moan, trying desperately to regain my self-control.

"Don't bother, Ashley," she whispered in my ear before sliding her tongue around it, which made me arch into her hands. "At least for tonight, you're all mine." Then her lips found my neck again, sliding down onto my collarbone as her hands traced little circles over my breasts, and I was lost.

I barely remember her undressing me, or taking off what was left of her clothes, but I remember vividly the feel of the warm sand under my shoulders, my butt, and the soles of my feet, and the delicious silky feeling of her smooth small body on top of me. I remember the slick warmth of her pussy against mine, rubbing and grinding, and those tiny whimpers in my ear mixed with her gasping breaths. I remember holding her hips, tensing to grind her frantically into me as we gasped each other's names into each other's mouths, and the way she screamed into my mouth when she came, jerking and twitching, atop me. I don't remember my own orgasm -- I only remember her grabbing my wrists, pinning my arms down, and her hips beginning this maddening circular swirling motion that sent me into orbit.

We rested briefly, with Lucy still laying on top of me, breathing into each other's necks, my hands on her back and hers in my hair, our skin plastered together.

I was feeling emotions that were fairly new to me -- not love, not even deep friendship, but a wonderful, relaxed sort of intimacy, and a deep, rueful fondness for this girl that had, I now realized, expertly seduced me. I had no regrets, either. My ex had never made me come that hard -- never.

Lucy giggled softly in my ear, raising her head to look into my eyes, not moving her body.

"So, you were saying?" She murmured.

I couldn't help but laugh. "All right, I'll give you that one," I sighed, unable to help running my hands over the satin of her hips and softness of her buttocks.

She sighed as well, leaning down to kiss me. "Just one?"

I growled softly -- some part of me felt a need to assert something. "Wise ass girl...I'll show you." I rolled her on her back, and captured a nipple between my lips again, drawing a surprised squeak from her.

Lucy grabbed my shoulders as I slid further down, nuzzling her stomach, and I paused. She sat up a little, her eyes wide. "Ashley, you don't have to..." She sounded breathless.

I looked up at her sharply, and my lips curled in a smug little grin. I had found this girl's weakness -- the one thing she most desperately wanted but couldn't ask for -- such a simple thing, too. She must not have been with too many girls -- I'd imagined doing it to her the moment I met her.

Sliding a little lower, keeping my eyes on hers, I nuzzled my lips into the downy soft, trimmed hair between her thighs and then fastened my mouth on her.

I felt a spasm run up her back and down her legs, and she gasped, her eyes going distant, and she lolled backward, her head rolling as her back arched. "Oh, god, Ashley..." She moaned.

She was sweet and tart, and very wet -- it had been so long since I tasted a girl who got half this excited -- and I drank deeply from her, my tongue licking every millimeter of sensitive dark pink flesh and my lips nibbling and sucking on anything I could wrap them around.

She writhed and wriggled under my mouth, one of her hands fastening into a death grip on my hair as her thighs rose to clutch my head, something I've always loved. I closed my eyes and just lost myself in her, in the delicious wet sweetness of pussy, something I'd needed so badly. I rubbed my nose and chin in her juices, swirled my tongue as deeply into her body as I could, and sucked on her labia like candies.

Within a minute, she came again, hard, squealing my name, but I didn't stop or let up -- in truth, I barely noticed. A single stray thought crossed my mind -- that Kathy had never come that hard for me, either -- and delved deeper, washing away all those painful memories in Lucy's sweetness.

She certainly didn't seem to mind -- I caught only pieces of whatever it was she was babbling in between her squeals and moans, but a lot of it had to do with begging me not to stop.

Lucy came again, her thighs quivering over my shoulders, and I just moaned and drove my tongue as deep as I could to taste every drop of her. I felt something warm and wet lapping at my feet, and it took me a moment to realize it was the ocean. I almost laughed at the absurdity of that -- here I was, laying naked on a beach with the ocean lapping about my toes, with my face buried in the pussy of a girl I barely knew -- and yet, I absolutely could not bring myself to pull away.

I squirmed around a little bit, stroking her slit slow and light with my tongue to keep her aroused. Working my arm free from beneath me, I sank a finger into her tight pussy, gently gliding it in on her wetness, loving the sound of her gasped squeal and the way her feet kicked on my back at the sensation.

"Ashley!" She started to say something, but I didn't give her the chance. Sliding my finger deep and then twisting it, my fingertip searching while my lips found her clit. Her breathing stopped as she arched up onto her shoulders, her fingers clawing at the sand beneath us, and I backed off, teasing her, slurping on her moist pussy until her hips started moving with my slowly pumping finger, her body rocking to my rhythm. I slowly accelerated, intent on making her scream again, and got my wish a moment later as I dug my fingertip into the rough spot inside her and firmly sucked her clit.

Her wail went on for a long ten or fifteen seconds as her whole body locked up, her legs tensed and stiff along my back and her hands clenched into fistfuls of sand. Then she went limp, and I finally released her, licking her gently clean and rising onto my hands and knees. I knew enough not to just slide up her body with sand stuck to my chest and stomach, and brushed myself off quickly before settling myself on top of her, stroking her tangled hair back from her eyes.

Her eyes found mine, wide and dazed. "Ashley...wow..."

I couldn't help a smug little chuckle, leaning in to kiss her neck, but she surprised me by stopping me, pulling my mouth to hers.

"I don't mind," she mumbled against my lips, so I kissed her deep, letting her taste her own sweetness on my lips and tongue.

Then I pulled my lips free and rested my face in her shoulder, surprised that I was actually trembling. That kind of emotional catharsis took a lot out of me. I tried to ignore the throbbing in my own body -- I badly needed to come again, but I knew Lucy was probably exhausted.

"Thank you," I whispered. "I needed that."

Now it was Lucy's turn to roll me over, smiling down at me. "You have amazing eyes," she murmured. Then she lifted up slightly, her legs squirming with mine, making my breathing hitch. She grinned. "You need something else, too, though."

I blinked up at her, and actually felt myself blush a little. "Hey, that's all right, I..." I gasped as she squirmed so that her pussy brushed mine again.

"Well, not yet," she whispered. "It will be, though." Her hips started that mind-bending swirling motion again, and I moaned loudly.

"That's it, Ashley...let go." She sighed into my lips as she worked on top of me. I buried my face in her neck, wrapped my arms around her back, and just moved with her. I could tell she was just trying to make me come, but as my hands started guiding her and my lips nuzzled at her breasts, she lost control again, and we came spasmodically at almost the same moment, with me panting into her chest and her squeaking those high-pitched whimpers that so turned me on.

Finally, we relaxed, our skins warm and slick, our breathing slow and deep, our bodies sated and relaxed. She laid her head into my shoulder, and I slipped into a deep, real sleep.

***

I woke up, a few hours later, feeling Lucy stirring beside me.

"Ohh...I can't sleep on sand," she muttered into my ear, and I fought back the urge to giggle.

"Why don't you go find your bed on the boat?" I whispered, kissing her ear. "And...thank you."

She smiled a huge, sweet, happy smile at me -- I knew she understood, and I think she had gotten just what she wanted as well. One good night. I was incredibly grateful to her.

We kissed one last time after dressing and parted ways, with Lucy wading out toward the ship and me wandering down toward the fire, wondering if there was anything edible left from the earlier feeding frenzy.

As I was picking through a few remnants of food clinging to the skewers -- yes, I was really that hungry -- a shadowy figure wandered up toward the fire. I looked up in surprise -- I'd noticed Robert asleep against a tree not far from the fire, and Tim was snoring right beside the fire.

"Ashley?" The person called out softly, if that makes sense, and I knew who it was. There was no mistaking that accent.

"Yeah, Chris, it's me." I put a few more shreds of meat in my mouth, wincing at how burnt they were, but not caring that much.

The skinny redheaded woman wandered up to the fire, yawning.

"Couldn't sleep?" I asked.

She snorted. "Not likely -- not with all the noise from the master suite."

I laughed a little -- I could afford to feel a lot more magnanimous about that, now. "Again?"

"It seemed even louder than before," she shook her head. "Those two are insatiable."

They weren't the only ones. A girl hadn't worn me out the way Lucy had since high school.

We chatted quietly as I kept nibbling at the remains of the previous evening's dinner. Not long after, Tim woke up, followed by Robert. We all played cards until the sun came up. I felt enormously more relaxed, unsurprisingly, and Robert seemed to notice the difference in me -- when he gave me a questioning look at one point behind Tim and Chris's backs, I winked at him, and he grinned briefly and gave me a little congratulatory toast of a water bottle.

Gradually, over the next couple of hours, everyone else straggled in. Don and Carla arrived from the boat, and Caitlyn wandered in shortly after. Lucy joined us as well -- we exchanged a smile that we thought was subtle, but that Don, Carla, and Robert all noticed, as I figured out from the amused looks they each gave me over the next half hour, each of which I answered with a blush and a faint smug little grin. Lucy, to my amazement for a girl who seemed so shy, showed no particular reaction to the looks she got, other than a happy little grin and nod when Carla leaned over to whisper something in her ear while looking at me with twinkling eyes.

I was glad at least that Tim and Caitlyn didn't seem to pick up on it. Don and Robert set up a wonderful breakfast of fruits and fish and nuts, and we ate, talking companionably and discussing the next leg of the trip -- from here, evidently, we passengers had a choice. We could either sail past a chain of abandoned islands like this one, where it would be quiet and isolated, or we could sail to a little resort on a bigger island, where we could meet some people and drink and dance and do all the usual resort vacation nonsense.




Letting Go, and Grabbing Hold



I certainly had no desire to spend a few days in a giant night club -- which was apparently a fairly common opinion. Only Tim seemed to have any interest in the resort, and Don offered to take a slight detour to what he claimed was a prime fishing spot, which convinced Tim to take the quiet route.

After finishing up breakfast and cleaning up our camp -- Don and Carla insisted, though we all agreed -- so that the place looked like no one had ever been there, exactly as we had found it.

We all clambered back onto the boat -- I hadn't really missed the thing, though I was looking forward to sleeping in a real bed again. I'm no more comfortable sleeping on bare sand than Lucy was.

We settled back into our cabins a bit as Don and Carla got the ship ready to move, and before I knew it, we were back out on the wide, empty ocean. Lucy and Robert and Tim kept right on playing cards, and Carla and Don were doing boat things -- which I suspect involved at least one break in their cabin -- which left Caitlyn and I lounging on the deck, Caitlyn in the sun and me in the shade.

We sat in silence for a long time, enjoying the peaceful ocean, the breeze and the sunshine, until Caitlyn apparently couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Okay, so what happened?"

I looked at her questioningly.

She just gave me a steady stare.

I raised my eyebrows. Be damned if I was going to admit she'd been totally right.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Don't tell me. I know something happened. Either you got some or somebody talked you down."

I just shrugged.

She snorted. "Fine, fine. I'll get it out of you eventually, you know that."

"We'll see." I stretched, relaxing and closing my eyes. Then I opened them again, deciding turnabout was fair play. "What about you?"

Caitlyn looked over again, tilting up her sunglasses to see me. "What about me?"

I just gave her the same eloquently steady stare she'd given me.

She grinned. "Why should I tell you anything when you wouldn't tell me?"

"Oh, so there is something to tell?" I sat up intently.

"I didn't admit to anything," she said primly.

"Uh huh..." I lay on my side facing her. "I'll tell you what. If you tell me -- honestly -- I'll tell you everything."

She looked over at me sharply, and looked rather tempted -- in fact, it might have been a trick of the light, but I'd swear she looked a little bit flushed. Then she turned away, closing her eyes. "No deal -- I've nothing to tell anyway."

I sighed in disappointment -- I've always been a curious girl, so I probably would have spilled the beans about Lucy to find out what had made her blush like that. I leaned back, feeling drowsy, and drifted off, able for the first time to just totally relax and enjoy the bright sunshine.

***

That night, back in my dark little sauna of a bedroom, I lay awake after catching a few hours of sleep, feeling that heat seeping into me, driving me as crazy as it had before. I felt warm, relaxed, but sensitized, very aware of my own body. My experience with Lucy had apparently reminded my body just how good it was to be with someone else, and I actually thought for several long minutes about whether or not I could find the guts to sneak down the hall and knock on Lucy's door.

Eventually, I just stripped my clothes off and ran my hands down my warm, slippery skin. My body felt alive, tingling with sensation. I remembered the feeling of Lucy's hands on my body, and remembered the pleasure I had found writhing under her squirming, thrusting body, and I didn't have to spend much time priming myself before sliding my fingers over my slick pussy. Sighing and rocking my hips against my fingers, I relived the two amazing orgasms Lucy had given me, and then relished the memory of eating her out of her mind, the feel of that warm, melted chocolate body bucking and twisting and helplessly quivering under me.

Then, as I got nearer to orgasm, and quite to my surprise, those memories slipped away from me, and a different memory took their place as my fantasy. I recalled my dreams of the first two nights on the ocean. My mind filled once again with the sensation of my hands being held down, and my pussy eaten in such a savoring, luscious way. I actually stopped touching myself, lowering my hands to grip the sheets, bucking my hips -- I could almost feel that tongue for real, the memory so clear that I thought I might reach orgasm just imagining it.

The heat was so strong, burning inside me, and I gradually sank so deep into the fantasy that I seemed to fall back asleep, drifting off with my hips still moving and my pussy throbbing with need.

Then, of course, in my lust-induced haze of a dream, it all returned to me, only a hundred times more intense. I felt the hands gently restraining my wrists, holding them alongside my hips. I felt the silky smooth shoulders between my straining, sweaty thighs, and felt that wonderfully, deliriously pleasurable mouth exploring, tasting, making love to my pussy.

This time, there were no doubts or fears, no holding back. I was going to enjoy this dream.

"Oh, yes..." I thrust my hips at that mouth, my head arched back. "Yes...love me..."

I felt a deep shudder pass through the mouth on me, and then a hot, naked body was sliding up along mine -- only it didn't feel quite like Lucy's body. At this point, though, I didn't care. The hands held mine down, but as the body slid upwards, the hands shifted so that the girl on top of me could change where her weight was resting -- and I took advantage.

Wriggling my hands free, I reached down and found a pair of sleek, satiny hips -- the skin so warm and firm, as slippery with sweat as my own -- and pulled. My lover was unbalanced, and I heard a blurted curse of surprise as I pulled her up my body until she was over my mouth. I burrowed eagerly between creamy smooth thighs, and tasted just the first hint of incredible sweetness, like warm honey. Hands grabbed my hair, trying to pull me away as the body tried to shift, but I didn't allow that -- I grabbed a pair of slim wrists, growled in warning that I would not be denied, and feasted.

I heard a quick, startled cry of mingled shock and pleasure, and one of the hands still in my hair, held by the wrist, clenched in surprise.

The pussy against my mouth was perfect -- just the way I like it. Very little hair -- just a tuft that I could feel against my upper lip. Soft, delicate lips, and a very warm, creamy center -- and most importantly, unlike many girls and despite popular belief, it was incredibly sensitive. Every touch made her quiver, every lick made her gasp, and every suck made her shudder.

I was in no mood to be patient, either -- I knew dreams like this usually didn't last, and I wasn't going to let it end before I made this girl come, and come hard.

My tongue thrust deep, and she cried out -- and then, with a strength that shocked me, pulled away. Our holds were reversed, my hands were pinned down beside my head, and my lover's soft pussy was on my chest as she practically sat on me to keep me still. 

I heard the deep breath as she tried to regain control, and I arched under her, moaning. "Let me taste you again," I murmured. "Let me make you come."

I felt the tremor in her, and then a whisper, faint and soft. "Damn you." Then the body slid down mine, the weight shifted, and her knee roughly opened my legs back up. I gasped in surprise and excitement as she pushed between my legs and I felt that perfect pussy against my own. She started thrusting against me, almost harshly, panting with effort.

I knew immediately what she was doing -- she was trying to come without allowing me to do anything. She was simply too desperate not to come, but could not abide the more intimate contact of my mouth on her...and didn't know any of the other ways to come with a girl. Right at that moment, I knew -- and once I realized the truth, everything clicked together, and I knew what she needed me to do.

My legs curled around hers, moving too quickly for her to stop them, and pulled, pinning her against me with all my strength and pulling her legs a little further apart so that I could mash her pussy into mine. She made a surprised noise, and her grip loosened for just a moment, just enough for me to pull my hands free, grab her back, and pull her down against me. I felt her sweat-slick breasts press into mine, and felt silky hair on my shoulders and neck.

"Go ahead, Caitlyn," I whispered in her ear. "Don't stop...come for me."

She cried out into my ear in shock, desperate desire, and fear, a sound that tore at my heart -- but I didn't let her think about it too much. One hand grasped a firm, smooth buttock and my hips thrust up, grinding my own wet pussy into hers, filling her with sensation before her brain could take back over from her body.

She cried out again into my ear, and I pressed into her, rocking my hips. "Do it, don't stop, you'll come so hard," I whispered into her ear, and I actually felt her lose control, a feeling I relished.

She started thrusting into me again, panting in my ear, and through my own rippling pleasure, I decided to play it up for her.

"Oh, god, yes," I moaned into her ear, sucking on her earlobe, "yes, you're so wet, I feel your pussy against mine, baby, do it. Let go and come for me."

She cried out again, shuddering, burying her face in my neck as I felt her spasm and stiffen, squealing into my neck, her body tense and shaking atop me. I kept my hips rolling only very softly, to intensify her orgasm but not over-stimulate her.

She relaxed a moment later -- and then ripped away from me, pulling entirely off my body so quickly that I couldn't hold on to her.

I gasped in surprise, but I couldn't see her clearly -- she stood at the foot of my bunk for a moment. I heard clothes rustling, and then the click of my door opening and shutting behind her.

I lay there in shock, for two reasons -- one, that that had certainly not been a dream. I'd never felt so awake in my life. Two...that really had been my best friend -- her mouth eating me so beautifully, her sweet, wet pussy on my lips and throbbing around my tongue, her naked body rocking on top of me, and her crying into my ear in desperate, needy, unbearable orgasm.

I lay there, totally awake, wondering.

***

The next morning, as the boat sailed on, I came up on deck, looking for Caitlyn. The few hours left of the night had been spent thinking, trying to figure out what to do, wondering if I had just gained a lover or lost a friend. Don and Carla were taking care of the boat, while Robert and Tim were going through some of the fishing gear on board, deciding what they wanted to use. Knowing little about fishing and caring even less, I wandered to where Chris and Lucy were lounging and talking -- it seemed Lucy was getting the same long explanation of Chris's upcoming wedding that Caitlyn had earlier.

"Hey, Ashley," Lucy greeted me with a smile. I smiled back. Chris nodded.

"Have either of you seen Caitlyn this morning?" I asked them.

Chris nodded again. "She's locked in our cabin -- she wasn't feeling well, and she said she wasn't going to ruin anyone else's vacation with seeing her sick." Her voice was sympathetic.

"Oh," I said, lamely. "All right."

"Join us," Lucy suggested, patting the lounge chair next to hers. "Don said that we'll reach the next island within a few hours -- he said there're these ponds there that are almost fresh water, so they're great for swimming in."

"That sounds nice," I agreed, plopping myself down. There were only showers on the boat -- the chance to soak in non-seawater for a while wasn't something I was going to refuse.

So I lounged with them for a few hours, until the next island came into view ahead, a pretty little thing that was as much reef as island, with tree-covered hills mixed with lower, wetter ground, some parts that were almost outright swamp. There were also, as promised, a great many shallow, secluded little pools of water that, while not quite freshwater, were certainly less salty than the ocean.

Most of us made our way ashore as Don and Carla finished rigging the boat to stay there the night, though Caitlyn still didn't emerge from below. I was worried, now, but there was nothing I could do if she wasn't going to talk to me.

I hoped she just needed time to think through what had happened -- it's not as though plenty of straight girls haven't had brief, curiosity-driven experiences with their lesbian friends. It happens all the time, and it's usually no big deal. Even good friends, in my experience, end up just chalking it up to alcohol, or curiosity, or a "deep feminine bond", and get past it. 

After we settled onto the island, Don fixed breakfast -- more fruit and some ham that he cooked over a fire, which was delicious. Caitlyn still didn't appear, but Carla took some food out to the boat for her.

Once we had eaten, everybody wanted to explore the island -- this one was quite a bit bigger than the last one, so there was a lot more to explore, and relatively clear water in which to bathe. Robert and Tim went off in one direction, while Carla, Lucy and I headed in another, and Don stayed near the ship in case anything happened there or to tell Caitlyn where we had gone if she emerged. Chris stayed behind as well, deciding to get some sunbathing in on the boat, and to be handy if Caitlyn needed anything -- I might have done the same, except I figured rather sadly that it was probably better for Caitlyn if I wasn't there.

Carla took Lucy and I a little ways into the palms, where she promised us was her favorite little pool. We found it without much trouble. It was a lovely spot, too -- a pool surrounded by rocks, with a little waterfall kind of thing on one side that flowed down to another pool via a tiny creek.

The water was just deep enough to soak in, like a giant bathtub, probably no more than waist deep. Lucy and I immediately got down to our bathing suits and waded out, sinking into the lukewarm water with identical sighs. Meanwhile, Carla surprised us both by stripping down completely and wading almost regally past us into the water.

Neither Lucy nor I seemed that worried about being naked in front of a married woman -- but as we exchanged a brief, uncomfortable look, we both realized at the same moment that we were actually nervous about being naked in front of each other. We both laughed at the absurdity of that, and a few moments later, joined Carla in the pool with our swimsuits laid out neatly on the rocks, luxuriating in the clean water.

We had brought some basic bath products with us, and took turns shampooing each other's hair, getting ourselves cleaner than we'd felt in a while -- the boat's onboard showers were mediocre at best.

After bathing, relaxing, and lots of idle girl talk, I decided to do some exploring, while Carla looked half-conscious at best, floating with a dreamy smile on her face, and Lucy seemed pretty comfortable. I re-dressed and headed off into the semi-jungle, aimlessly wandering around the beautiful little island.

I was half-hoping to find Caitlyn somewhere, maybe waiting with open arms...I laughed that thought off. She might come to terms with what she had done the previous night, I thought, but that certainly didn't mean she had any real feelings for me beyond friendship. I was more than willing to write the whole thing off as a curiosity, vacation-fueled night, and leave it at that. I certainly didn't want to lose my best friend.

Then I thought some more, carefully examining my feelings. Realistically, I should have been a lot more worried about having sex with my straight best friend. It happens a lot, of course, but that doesn't mean it's always a good idea. Unless everybody goes in with the right idea, just like any other sexual scenario, it can end in disaster. But I hadn't thought twice -- once I'd known it was her, it was easy for me to make love to her -- easy for me to go down on her, easy for me to help her come, to call her "baby". It had been very easy. What did that mean? That question kept spinning again and again through my mind as I wandered without really watching where I was going, my teeth worrying constantly at my lower lip.

I was broken from my reverie a few moments later by the sight of a human figure somewhere ahead, and stopped, peering out over another of the wide pools, this one also surrounded by rocks, but a little higher wall, making it difficult to see into the water beyond.

Tim was sitting on one of the rocks, with his back to me, looking as though he were dipping his feet in the water. I noticed almost immediately that he seemed to be naked, as well -- I couldn't see his trunks, but I could see his bare butt on the rocks. His body was lean and muscular, and I could understand why Robert was attracted to him -- if I'd been at all into men, I certainly wouldn't have kicked that out of bed.

Then I noticed something -- his head was thrown back, his eyes closed, and there was a dreamy smile on his face. I was a little startled at that. Tim didn't really seem like the revel-in-the-sunshine type to me -- then I saw a pair of hands slide around his hips to his ass, cupping and lifting. I blinked in surprise, and a fleeting thought crossed my mind that Caitlyn...no, she couldn't, I thought. That didn't seem like her.

As it turned out, it wasn't. Making my way a short distance around the pool, staying out of sight, I was finally able to catch sight of Robert's dark-haired head, bobbing slowly and lingeringly up and down in Tim's lap, his hands still visible stroking the younger man's butt and thighs.

As I stared, torn between blushing embarrassment and curious interest, Tim arched, shuddering visibly, and clutched Robert's hair with one hand. Then he released it, relaxing with a sigh, and Robert stood up between his legs, kissing the younger man deeply.

Now I was definitely blushing. As I was leaving hurriedly -- voyeurism isn't really a hobby of mine, despite my natural curiosity -- Robert was just lifting Tim's legs onto his shoulders. I gave them their privacy, embarrassed but happy that they had both apparently found something to enjoy on vacation.

Being more careful to avoid any more accidental encounters, I managed to get myself back to the original beach where the boat was parked -- or anchored, or whatever. Don was there, alone, digging a fire pit and setting up his grill for dinner.

"Hey, lovely," he greeted me warmly.

"Don," I replied.

"Enjoy your swim?" He said, gesturing with his chin at my still-wet hair.

I nodded. "It's lovely here." My tone was a bit non-committal in my distraction.

Don chuckled a little. "Still confused? Even after...?" He trailed off, respecting my privacy enough not to say it aloud.

"Well, I wasn't right after...now, even more so." I sighed in resignation, shaking my head as I joined him by the pit he was digging.

"Do me a favor and toss some of those rocks aside, would you?"

I started leaning down and picking up some of the bigger rocks in and around the hole in the sand, tossing them out of his way as he kept widening the hole and smoothing the sides expertly with his shovel.

"What changed?" He asked me then.

"I'm not sure," I said slowly, not sure what to say and what not to say. "I don't know...maybe Caitlyn did."

"Ah, that girl..." He smiled an oddly fond smile. "She looks after you a great deal, you know."

"Like a big sister?" I asked wryly, tossing another rock aside with a bit more force than was probably necessary.

He grinned his toothy grin. "No, not really."

I looked at him in surprise, but he didn't look at me -- he kept his grin, though.

"That doesn't make me less confused," I said -- I'll admit, I was pouting a bit.

"I know -- but don't worry, you'll figure it out," he said confidently, winking at me. "You're too close now not to."




Letting Go, and Grabbing Hold



I stared at him, shaking my head. "I wish I were half that confident."

He smiled. "Caitlyn said she'd come ashore for dinner, by the way -- it won't be for a couple hours, though. Why not take a nap or something -- the more relaxed you get, out here, the clearer things become. Take it from me."

I smiled, running my fingers through my damp hair. "Not a bad idea," I said gratefully.

"Thanks for the help with the rocks."

"No problem." I wandered away again, and as I found a little nest to curl up in at the base of a tree, I realized that I really could use a nap -- there was something about the warm, salty silence of this place that just lulled you off to sleep. I leaned my head back, yawned, and fell asleep -- mercifully, for once, a dreamless sleep.

***

I woke up luxuriously slowly, and judged from the sunlight that it was still well before dinner, but definitely later in the day. Standing up and stretching, I made my way back up the beach toward the boat, but the beach there was empty. Don's fire-pit was all set up, with wood already prepared for the fire and his grill built, but there was no one in sight.

I had no idea where anyone was at this point -- I figured Chris was probably still on the boat, sunbathing and napping, and Robert and Tim might not show up until they were exhausted, but where were Don and Carla -- and Lucy? I realized too that Caitlyn might have come ashore -- which meant that if I ran into her, I needed to know what the hell I was going to say to her.

I ran quickly through what little logic I could apply to the situation. Either Caitlyn loved me, I loved her, both, or neither. Simple enough. If neither of us loved the other, then we would eventually get past it -- I thought our friendship was strong enough for that. We'd be awkward for a while, and then find an excuse to laugh it off. The other three, though...did I love her?

I thought about the long years of our friendship. I thought about sharing a dorm room with her, and then an apartment -- and listening to her with her boyfriends. I remembered her last boyfriend, and the oddly abrupt break-up. I remembered her suggestion that we go away together, but then her finding a tour service where we wouldn't be alone. I remembered how she had practically pushed me into Lucy, and even suggested trying something with one of the guys, just to break me out of my funk.

I had my eyes closed as I remembered, and as the memories sorted themselves in my brain, I found other memories replacing them. Memories of past occasions where we had laughed or cried together, memories of the many times we had held each other or nursed each other through tough break-ups. I remembered the incredible things she had done to my body -- in whichever of my dreams had been real, and even in those that had been dreams. I still didn't know which were which, other than the last one.

I remembered Caitlyn's shock at realizing that I knew who it was on top of me, and her incredible arousal at being in bed with me. I remembered the desperation and the fear in her voice when she came. That was the thing, though -- she hadn't just been there to make herself come, or from arousal. If I hadn't spoken, she would have just eaten me out, I thought. Why?

I needed to talk to her. I stood up, blinking in the sunlight glaring off the sand of the beach -- I was a little startled that I had been thinking for long enough that my eyes had lost their adjustment to the sun -- and picked my way into the trees, toward the few spots on this island I knew.

Down a ways into the trees, I reached the spot where Lucy, Carla and I had bathed earlier, and heard soft voices ahead of me.

Nodding -- at least I had found someone -- I stepped to the edge of the trees. Then I froze.

There was no one in the pool of water. There was, however, someone near it -- not twenty feet away from me, in fact.

Carla lay on her back in the soft grass near the pool, still naked. Lucy lay atop her, their skins contrasting beautifully. Carla's legs were hooked around Lucy's, and her hands had a death grip on Lucy's creamy chocolate hips and buttocks, pulling the smaller girl into her. Don, also naked, looking huge and powerful, was mounted atop them, with his hands on Lucy's breasts and his powerful haunches thrusting slowly, firmly against her, his head moving against the back of her neck and her shoulder blades. Lucy's hands were fluttering and flailing aimlessly in the grass -- her body seemed to be supported entirely by Carla and Don's grip on her.

The sounds I'd been hearing were obviously coming from them. I could hear Carla breathing hard, moaning high and soft with each breath. I could hear Don's slow, relaxed groans of pleasure, which I recognized from the nights on the boat. I could hear Lucy's familiar, over-aroused squeaking and whimpering. She seemed to be in ecstasy, with her eyes closed and her head thrown back, her arms and legs stiff and quivering, and her mouth wide open. I could only imagine how intense the sensations were for her as each of Don's thrusts inside her thrust her body down into Carla. Carla had her head up, her eyes wide and her mouth wide open, panting against the column of Lucy's throat. I could see her lower body quivering in pleasure as well.

I watched them for just a moment, and felt a grin spreading across my face. I wasn't jealous or angry -- I was happy for them. In fact, I barely kept from giggling out loud. I knew Carla and Don were insatiable, and Lucy...well, as I said, she'd even worn me out -- I'd had suspicions about her and Carla or Don as well. I was still grinning when I turned away, hearing female moans turn into female cries and Don's voice rising in encouragement. We'd all found plenty to enjoy on this vacation, apparently.

That made a lot of sense -- it explained why everyone had been so matter-of-fact, and so calm.

Except one person hadn't been that calm. I paused, standing alone amongst the trees, with the ocean just audible ahead of me and the wind blowing my now-dry hair around my face. One more thing clicked into place for me -- Caitlyn's blush. I nodded. It was all clear, now.

I hurried back to the beach -- suddenly, I was all urgency, as I couldn't let my tiny little epiphany slip away from me. To my surprise, Chris was there, sunbathing near the set up grill and fire pit.

"Chris?" I asked.

She raised her head, opening her eyes to smile at me. "Oh, hey, Ashley. Did you see Caitlyn?"

"No," I said, surprised again. "Did she come ashore?"

"Yeah, she said that even sick, she couldn't pass up a real bath." She grinned, leaning her head back down.

Great -- I only had to search the whole island for her. "Okay, thanks, Chris."

I rushed back into the trees, surprised at the need I felt to find Caitlyn -- it's not, after all, as though she were going anywhere. We were going to be stuck on a small boat together for at least two more weeks -- but I had to see her, and now. I even stumbled on tree roots and things as I made a wide circle around the pool where Lucy, Don, and Carla were so enjoying each other. I didn't go near the pool where I'd seen Robert and Tim earlier -- I was fairly sure Caitlyn wouldn't seek out their company.

It didn't take me all that long to find her. It wasn't that large an island -- there were maybe ten of these little bathing pools scattered around amidst the trees and rocks. I did the logical thing -- I checked the one furthest from the boat.

This pool was a long, narrow sort of thing, surrounded by high rocks. The trees around it were pretty thick, and I had to push my way through, so I didn't surprise her.

She was sitting on one of the higher rocks, with her feet dangling just barely into the water below, with her back to me. She wore her bikini with a filmy sort of cover-up shirt that buttoned up the front.

I pushed free of the trees and climbed up not too far away from her, but not too close.

"Hey, Ash."

"Hi, Cait." I noticed her hair was wet. "Nice bath?"

She glanced at me, smiling a little. "Not bad."

We looked away from each other. For once, I wasn't confused. In fact, I had realized that, of the two of us, I'd been the less confused one for quite some time now.

"So..." I said slowly. "How much was really a dream, and how much was real?"

Caitlyn looked at me, with a strange little smile. "For which one of us?"

I laughed, and shifted a bit closer to her, about three feet away. She immediately shifted away, stretching her legs out to submerge them further in the lukewarm water.

"You know," she said then, "it's not like it doesn't happen -- we can just pretend, you know..."

"Can we?" I cut her off.

She gave me a weary look. "Ash...it's not love, it's just...one of those things."

I looked at her for a long minute. I'd been thinking about this for hours, and I damn well wasn't sure of that. "All right; kiss me."

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. "Right, that'll fix everything."

I shifted toward her, and she shifted away again. That was starting to get annoying. "I'm serious," I told her. "Kiss me, and prove it. If you can do that, then we'll just call it curiosity, and pretend it never happened."

It was too good a deal to pass up -- we needed a way out of this, and we both knew it. Still, she looked at me uncertainly. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Ashley."

"Sounds like you're scared, to me." My voice was just slightly mocking.

She glared at me a little bit. Good. If we could do this angry, it would be easier for both of us, and then we could move past it. "It's not a matter of scared, Ash -- I..."

"I know, Cait, I know," I said, reaching out to touch her hand. I left my hand there, and she didn't pull away. I closed my fingers over hers, and raised my eyebrows. "You really think that our friendship is going to be ruined by a kiss? Do you need a recap of last night?"

She blushed. "No, it's just...last night...didn't..."

"Didn't happen. Agreed," I said with a patient shrug, "with just one kiss."

She sighed almost irritably. "Ashley, you can't just..."

I shifted closer to her, and she pulled away yet again. Now I glared at her.

"You can't just --" She started to continue, but I cut her off.

"Damn it, Caitlyn," I said angrily, "we're talking about one fucking kiss. You can't manage that, for the sake of our friendship?"

"It's not about our friendship," she retorted angrily, turning toward me and glaring hotly.

"What's it about, then?" I snapped, leaning toward her. "If you're so pig-headed that you won't --"

"Pigheaded?" She snarled.

"Yes! If you can't even manage one silly kiss, after everything you put me through..."

"I put you through?" She gasped in disbelief. "Have you any idea how long I've been..."

"Oh, please," I said scornfully, "don't even try that -- I was the one who had to listen to you begging your 'darling'..."

"I was talking to you, you stupid..." She growled, cutting herself off, and leaned in to kiss me. The kiss was hard and blunt, like the kiss you'd get after daring someone who didn't even like you.

Too bad for Caitlyn that I knew her better than she knew herself. Just as the kiss broke and she started to pull away, I cupped the back of her neck and sighed against her lips as though the kiss had taken my breath away.

She froze, shivering slightly. I put the slightest pressure on, and brought our lips back together.

"Ashley, you said one..." She mumbled against my mouth.

"Just kiss me, Caitlyn," I said. This time I was the one who shivered. Her lips were very soft, even holding back as much as she was, but...there was something there. I needed a real kiss -- I had to know.

We kissed again, and this time it was a real kiss. Brief and soft, but a real kiss.

I pulled back, and felt a strange helplessness. We stared at each other from about four inches apart.

"There," I said lamely. "That's...that's fine. Now we can --"

"Shut up, Ashley," she said angrily, and pulled our lips back together. The kiss was like the first -- hard and firm, with our mouths wide open but just locked together. I was frozen, my mind blank.

Then that hard kiss turned soft. No, not just soft. It turned dream-like. Our lips were barely touching, and I'm fairly sure neither of us was breathing. Our lips moved, as soft and smooth as satin, against each other...and I felt her breathe me in, something I've felt only a few times in my life.

"Ashley," she pulled back and whispered then, warningly. "Stop..."

I didn't bother pointing out that she had kissed me. I just slid my arms around her neck, let go, and grabbed hold of what I wanted. She whimpered into this kiss, and I let my weight press against her -- she may have had eight inches on me, but she was feeling a bit weak at the moment. I pressed her onto her back on the rocks, and we rolled off onto the grass, with me on top.

She squirmed under me. "Ashley, wait," she tried to speak, breaking the kiss.

"For what?" I murmured, taking the opportunity to open a button and find her waist with my hands, reveling in how smooth her skin felt. It wasn't as slippery with sweat, or as heated as it had been last night, but it felt more real. It was Caitlyn under me, and that's what I wanted right now. My lips stroked her neck and my tongue tasted the hollow of her throat.

Caitlyn gasped. "Ashley, stop. This isn't a good idea..."

"Mmhmm, true." I nibbled on her neck, my hands undoing buttons. I felt her stomach against the backs of her fingers, then cloth, and I growled -- that wasn't what I wanted to touch. I slid my hands over her shoulders and up to the back of her neck, where her bikini top tied.

"Ashley, no," she whimpered as my lips opened to suck deeply on her neck just below her ear.

I pulled the strings free and ripped the cloth aside impatiently. "Were you talking to me?" I asked into her ear, my breath light and fast now as I undid more buttons. There was bare flesh under the backs of my hands now -- bare flesh that quivered and trembled with some very uneven breathing.

"Wha...ah...when?" She asked breathlessly.

"'Darling...please don't stop.'" I whispered in her ear, and opened her cover shirt, filling my hands with her breasts. They were warm and firm, silky smooth -- and trembling.

"Oh, god..." She shuddered, whimpering. "What...when did I..."

"When you were making love...I heard you...every time," I breathed into her ear, needing to hear it. "Who were you talking to?" My palms grazed light circles over her already taut nipples -- nipples I couldn't wait to taste. I licked her ear. "Who, Caitlyn?"

"Oh, god, Ashley," she gasped in surprise, arching against that delicate touch. She was squirming desperately, her hands clutching the grass as if trying to escape -- but her hips were moving against me.

"Who?" I asked in a very soft voice, suddenly feeling very vulnerable, my hands tantalizing her breasts -- it was so hard to think with them in my hands. She felt so good, so real. I nuzzled my way down the center of her chest, feeling her breasts and my own hands against my cheeks, and slid my lips over one silky breast, nibbling at it. "Please...Caitlyn...tell me."

She gasped with each touch of my mouth, writhing on the grass. Finally, when my hands under her back lifted her to my lips and I captured her nipple, she cried out. "Oh, god, Ashley!"

I sucked her nipple, lashing it with my tongue, and then switched to the other breast, feeling her twist closer. "Oh, my god, darling," she moaned out.

I shuddered hearing that, hearing the confirmation. "Caitlyn..." I murmured, sliding up and nuzzling her throat, before lifting my head to look down into her eyes. My hands were smoothing over her hips -- and untying the strings that held her bikini bottom on.

She looked up at me with wide, vulnerable eyes, her body moving slightly and her breathing still very unsteady as she felt me stripping off the last thing between us.

"This is what you wanted," I whispered, my fingertips tracing her inner thigh.

She shuddered, closing her eyes.

"This..." My fingers slid along her mound, and gently parted her slit, caressing.

She gasped, her eyes popping back open, and she swallowed hard.

"This..." My fingers stroked her slit, and I couldn't help but moan at feeling how wet she already was for me.

"Oh..." She moaned back softly, closing her eyes again. "Yes."

"You wanted me, not him," I whispered against her lips.

"Yes..."

I stroked my hand up and down her slit, and on the next stroke, let my middle finger glide into her pussy. My own pussy throbbed when I felt how slick and warm her soft flesh was inside, gripping my finger with a sudden tension.

"Ashley!" She squealed against my mouth.

I couldn't wait any longer. I slid down eagerly, my hands sliding back to her breasts, holding her down, my shoulders pushing her legs open wider, and then I ran my mouth over her mound, my tongue tracing her slit. Her taste and scent filled my senses, and I moaned her name, even as she moaned mine, and was lost.

I ate Caitlyn without finesse or patience, but with my eyes wide open, watching her nearly naked body writhing on the grass, her breasts arching up under my hands and her head thrown back, her fingers clawing at my arms. Whenever my tongue found a sensitive spot -- which it found many of -- it lingered and fluttered, driving little gasping squeals from her, until I finally just pulled her clit into my mouth and lashed it unmercifully with my tongue, driving her up onto her shoulders and to orgasm with a scream that echoed.

The spasms in her body nearly rocked my mouth off of her pussy, and I grabbed her hips to hold tight, not willing to relinquish any of the delicious nectar that I was finding.

When she relaxed, I backed off, nibbling at her outer lips, just lightly teasing her, keeping her sensitized.

She ran a hand through her hair, shuddering with a soft groan. "God, Ashley," Caitlyn sighed, "that was amazing."

"Mm...yes..." I whispered against her. She reached down, raising her head to smile shyly down at me, stroking my hair back. Our eyes met, and I slowly ran my tongue from the bottom of her slit to the top. She gasped in a very quick breath. I took her hands in mine and gently pressed them down into the grass, holding them as I began a slow, luxurious stroking with my tongue, my lips rubbing and soft against her pussy. I held her eyes with mine, watching them widen as her breathing deepened again.

I recognized the look in her eyes -- I'd seen it many times. There's nothing quite like watching a girl watch you eat her, especially during your first night together. You see every reaction and twitch in her face, and she can't look away, because the long-anticipated image of you eating her is just too erotic for her to stop.

Every breath from her was slow and halting, with catches and shudders, as she watched me. Her breasts trembled and quivered, and this time, as I went down on my best friend with all the skill -- and love -- that I could summon, I watched as the pleasure in her face intensified, mingled with shock, with amazement at how intense the sensations were. Her legs quivered, and then relaxed, along with her stomach, as her hands went limp. Her face relaxed, the tension draining out of her, and I watched with relish as she floated, her eyes locked on mine as I feasted on her and her body totally surrendered, drifting on the ecstasy of finally having what she had obviously wanted for so long.

I have no idea how long I made love to her pussy -- my whole world was her glorious eyes, the sound of her breathing, slow and deep and unsteady, the feel of her soft mound and satiny slick lips under my mouth, the taste of her pulsing around my tongue. I felt drunk on her, intoxicated by her smell and her taste, and finally I could wait no longer to bring her still higher and gradually focused on her clit, intensifying the sensation with the tiny fluttering movements of my tongue and the massage of my lips that I knew would send her into orbit.




Letting Go by Letting Go



I.

"I can't come," she sighed, running a red fingernail around the rim of her glass. "Well, I can, but it takes...you know...forever. And even then, I don't get the fireworks that I've been hoping for." She stared dispassionately into the half finished margarita. Victoria Josephine Reed was still beautiful at forty- two, her long copper hair cascading in ringlets to mid- back. He marveled at her youthful appearance, her body still strong and supple despite a casual workout regimen and a none-too-strict diet. 

"What do you think the problem might be?" He was three years her junior, nearsighted and overweight. Not a terrific specimen, he knew. He still had her scent on his fingers and her taste on his tongue, even though they hadn't been lovers for nearly twenty years. And he still found her beautiful, although her features were sharp and severe, her nose having been broken and her chin scarred by an auto accident some years before. Still, her body was wonderful, he thought. Her small breasts were still firm, he could tell from their outline against her tee shirt. Her smile was still enchanting. And her voice grabbed him somewhere between his masculinity and his heart.

"I think it's because I'm a controlling person," she mused, sipping at the now- warm cocktail. "I get close, but then my mind....just, er...stops me somehow. I can't give in to the feelings, I don't know why." He could see tears of frustration beginning to form in her pale green eyes. "I want to come, I really do. And I'm jealous of the women who can come so intensely and so easily."

"Do you have a lover?" he asked, immediately knowing the answer. Of course she had a lover, perhaps a few. A woman as sexual and as lovely as Victoria had no difficulty finding lovers.

She set the drink upon the scarred table. The bar was nearly empty, the early afternoon crowd gone and the after work crowd not yet evident. "Uh-huh. And don't get me wrong; Carl is wonderful. He's a very strong lover... he's a body builder you know, really has a lot of stamina. Thank God. Even though I never make it. I get sort of close, you know, but..." She stared past him into the dim recesses of the bar. The jukebox was playing an old Pat Benetar tune, "Hit me with your best shot...c'mon and hit me with your best shot..." 

The man across the table from her felt his heart sink. Stamina. A pack a day, seventy extra pounds, a lazy wife and a sedentary lifestyle had taken away any real stamina he had ever had. And this Carl was a body builder... Jesus. He didn't stand a chance. "Lemme guess," he grinned wryly. "The guy drives a Ferrari and makes two hundred grand a year too?" 

Her laugh was musical, almost in perfect harmony with the jukebox. "No, he drives a pickup and he only makes fifty a year. Surely you're not jealous!" 

"Not jealous, really." But he was. He couldn't explain why, but he wanted her again. "But back to your problem...." She smiled softly at him. "I need to somehow lose control" she continued, pausing to sip again at her drink. "Drugs and booze don't do it, although I'm sure that a second margarita wouldn't hurt..." He gestured to the waitress, a pale-looking young brunette in faded jeans. She took the order and walked lazily toward the bar. "I think I may have the answer to your problem," he mused. "You'll have to trust me, and do exactly as I tell you. I promise you that you'll be safe, but I can also promise you that you won't be in control..."

The drinks arrived. Victoria picked up her glass and regarded him with a worried expression. "What are you talking about, Paul?" He smiled mysteriously. "You'll find out tomorrow. Take a cab to the hacienda. I'll be waiting. Wear something sexy for me. I'll have everything else we need." He sipped at his wine and continued to smile at her. This would work, he thought. She'd be his plaything, and in return he would give her the release she craved. He continued, "You'll have one tool of control. But we'll talk about that tomorrow. Dinner?"

She stared at him. "But... but I thought we'd... you know, tonight... I mean, I've missed you and I was hoping..." Her voice trailed off. 

His smile never left his face. "Oh, sweet lady, we will. Tonight I think you should have a long, warm bath and a good night's sleep. You'll need it."

II.

His host left for work, and Paul immediately began preparing for Victoria's visit. He loaded his Canon with a fresh roll of film and checked the batteries in the expensive Japanese flash mounted on the camera. He then made sure that the ropes were ready. Soft cotton clothesline, the ropes would be a gentle introduction for her. He unwrapped the vibrator...a long soft plastic wand only vaguely resembling a penis. It was very long and quite thick, he noted as he found the tube of lubricant he had bought at the sex shop. He placed the vibrator and lubricant on the dresser, and reached into the paper bag. The raspberry- flavored "emotion lotion" was there. He took it out of the sack and set it on the dresser. Victoria would see the ropes, potions and toys when she entered the bedroom, but the camera would be a surprise.

He looked in his shaving kit and found the condoms. No need, he thought. He would not enter her, and he preferred to feel her mouth and hands without the inhibition of plastic... and besides, condoms would not protect his mouth. He intended to taste her again; his curiosity would let him do no less. Caution to the wind, he thought. He then fitted his razor with a fresh blade and went into the bathroom.

He took a long, steaming shower, letting the water pound his skin until he felt loose and relaxed. He then smeared his scrotum and pubic hair with shaving cream. Carefully, he denuded his tender nut-sack, gently stroking the razor against his soft skin. He carefully shaved the persistent hairs which grew from his cock, and trimmed his pubic hair into a perfect triangle. He wanted to feel every caress to its fullest, and shaving the hair from his cock would make his erection appear larger. He knew that Victoria liked the size of his cock, but he wanted to feel bigger and more masterful. Having shaven his privates baby- smooth, he rinsed the razor and shaved his face.

He dressed in a black silk bathrobe and sat on the edge of the bed. Taking a bottle of aloe vera lotion in hand, he gently massaged the freshly shaven areas until they were soft and moist. He then put on a pair of silk boxers and pulled the robe more snugly around his frame. He wanted to be sexy for her. He needed to. He was nervous, and the more nervous he became he knew, the more likely it became that he would be impotent. His head had gotten in the way of his cock recently, and he didn't want it to happen with Victoria. He had no intentions of inserting himself into her, but he didn't want to fail her either. Perhaps a smoke? He wandered into the living room and found the joint his host had thoughtfully left for him on the glass-topped coffee table. He lit the reefer, took a long puff, and then extinguished it. "It's a balancing act," he grinned to himself. "Just enough to loosen up, not enough to turn myself (and my cock) into a zombie." He couldn't believe how nervous he was, and nervousness would not suit his objective at all. He glanced at his watch for the fifth time in as many minutes. 

Her knock at the door startled him. He fairly flew to the door, seeing her lithe outline in the frosted glass of the antique hacienda door. He took a deep breath and welcomed her, opening the door and gently kissing her soft mouth in one motion. She moaned gently against his tongue, and slipped through the doorway. 

III.

She was dressed in a black tee, denim shorts and a pair of sandals. She had recently washed and combed her long hair, and the sunlight danced through the openings in the white shutters and off the wisps of hair that fluttered in the breeze from the ceiling fan. She was wearing no makeup, and her face showed the lines and cracks of twenty- five years of bad relationships and careless men. She looked lovely nonetheless, the simplicity of her outfit only making him want her more. 

"So what's this game you've got in mind for me?" She trembled slightly in anticipation. She felt her heart pounding in her chest and temples. Paul had always been an attentive and caring lover; he had also been the most inventive. She wondered about his life, how it had been in the years since they had last made love. She wondered about his wife three thousand miles away. He had been so hurt and at the same time so damned understanding when she had dumped him to marry Ford, her second husband. He had cried, then stepped out of the way, allowing Ford to court, marry, abuse and divorce her. Paul had always been the trusted long- distance friend, the one in whom she had confided occasionally during the darkest hours of her life in those intervening years. She loved and trusted Paul, but many men had laid their hands on her, and many had ended up being unkind and uncaring. 

Victoria was nervous. She hoped it didn't show, but the idea of letting go of all control nearly panicked her. "Is that a joint I see on the table? Let's smoke, and you can tell me about this game you have in mind..." 

Paul lit the blunt and passed it to her. He liked to watch her attempts to smoke the harsh weed; she inadvertently choked on the smoke whenever she tried to inhale it. She gamely held a small puff of the cloying smoke, then coughed it out. "I've never been able to smoke this shit, " she apologized. He grinned at her and snuffed out the cigarette in a pottery ashtray. 

"The game is this, Vic. Today, I am your master and you are my slave. You will do exactly as I tell you to do, without question and without complaint. I own you today. Completely. If you become aroused, it will be because I allow you to."

She frowned. She figured his plan had something to do with dominance and submission, and she wasn't sure that she liked the idea. "Are you going to tie me up and whip me, or what?" She hadn't yet seen the ropes and toys in the bedroom.

"I am going to bind you, yes. It will be more symbolic than actual, but you will not be able to use your hands...."

She became anxious then. "But I can't! I mean, I've never allowed...." Her voice trailed off. "Remember that I told you that you'd have one tool of control?" he asked. "That tool of control is your safe word. If you're enjoying what I'm doing to you, you may say 'Green.' I'll know that you're enjoying it and push you a little farther. If you say 'Yellow,' I'll know that you're unsure and that I need to slow down. If you say 'Red,' that means 'I've had enough, game over." 

She looked thoughtfully at him. "Have you ever done this before?" He smiled benevolently at her, his eyes shining with fond memory and his growing lust. He began to tell her his fondest bondage experiences, from spanking sweet Nicole's 18- year old bottom until she came, to the story of Liz and the handcuffs. He embellished a story or two, and told her one that was an outright lie. He watched in fascination as she squirmed on the loveseat. "Let me get this straight... You're going to tie me up and... do things to me... and I can use the safety words to encourage you, to warn you that I'm uncomfortable, or to make you stop, right?" "Yes!" he nodded emphatically. "But I also encourage you to trust me and to allow me to help you push your limits. This is about you giving up control so that you can really cum, remember that. Listen, Victoria... have I ever done anything to hurt you in any way?" "No," she answered without hesitation. "And I do trust you, but.... I'm scared."

He thought, "So am I, sweetheart, so am I...."

IV.

They walked hand in hand into the small guest bedroom. Victoria giggled when she saw the array of toys and lotions on the dresser. "Looks like you're prepared," she smiled. "Silence!" he commanded. "You will not speak unless spoken to, and you will address me as Master, do you understand." Victoria smiled again, "Yes, um, Master. So what's next?" He turned on the radio to a local jazz station, and soft, pulsing music threaded its way through the room. "First, " he replied, "I want you to undress for me. Have you ever been to a strip club?" She had, she admitted. "Well then, I want you to slowly take off your clothes and strike some poses for me..." 

Victoria kicked off her sandals and turned her 

back to him, teasing him as she slowly lifted the tee shirt. He had noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra, and watched with increasing lust as the garment slipped over her head. She dropped it to the floor, still keeping her back to him. "Good. Now turn around...slowly." She did as she was told. He felt the blood rushing to his cock when she turned to face him, her crossed arms covering her petite, little- girl breasts. She stood there before him, awaiting instructions. "Let's see those pretty little tits, slave!" Slowly she uncrossed her arms, and swaying to the sensual music, opened her chest for him to see. He remained seated, savoring the feeling of his throbbing cock gently chafing against the silk boxers. She turned around again, and slowly peeled off the denim shorts and slowly turned again to face him. She had donned a g-string for the occasion, a purple silk affair that barely covered her freshly- shaven mound. "You can leave the g-string on for the moment, slave. Now kneel on that ottoman with your ass toward me, and let me see you from behind...."

Without hesitation she crawled sensuously onto the white upholstered footstool, aiming her ass at him. Not bad, he thought. The g-string revealed more now, and he liked the view. He then reached for the camera, aimed it, and pressed the shutter release. 

The flash startled her. "Yellow!" she cried. "You didn't tell me there was going to be a camera involved! I'm very camera- shy!" "Silence, slave!" he commanded. "You are a beautiful specimen, and I want to capture you on film as we play. Besides, you needn't worry. I'm using slide film; the guys at the photo lab will never see you, since the slides are processed and mounted by machine. Now lift your ass into the air!"

She felt a flush of excitement. Nobody had ever photographed her like this. Ford and Mike, her two ex- husbands had both wanted to, but she had refused. Now Master Paul was making her pose and strut like a porn queen. She felt something melting within her pussy, something beginning to move deep within her.

Paul watched her through the camera lens as she raised her ass higher. "Put your fingers between your legs and pull the g-string aside. I want to see your juicy cunt!" The vulgarity of the words grabbed her, and without thinking she pulled the g-string aside and began to masturbate. A none- too- gentle slap on the ass startled her. "Did I give you permission to start jerking yourself off, you horny little bitch?" He spanked her again with the palm of his hand, this time much more tenderly. "You WILL masturbate for me, maybe...but not until you're told. Is that clear?" "Yes, Master, " she breathed. She still wasn't sure if she enjoyed this game, but there was no denying the moisture between her legs. Paul readied the camera again and took another shot, a close-up worthy of Hustler magazine. The purple silk of the g-string looked good against the pink of her sex. Through the lens he could see she was getting wet. Good. 

He put the camera aside and sat again on the bed. She was still facing the wall, her ass and sex swaying gently to the music. She hadn't stopped moving, he noticed. Good. Very good. She was getting into the game. "So you enjoy masturbating, do you slave? Turn around and slip that g- string off. I want you naked." She slowly turned to face him and peeled the g-string off her hips. She started to drop it on the floor when he commanded. "No, give it to me. I want to smell your juice." She did as she was told, and watched in fascination as he pressed the now- moist lingerie to his face and inhaled her scent. "G- string was a nice touch," he sighed. "You're a good sex- slave. I must reward you for your thoughtfulness. Open your legs, and let me see your twat." She did as she was commanded. "Now you may play with yourself, slave. Let your master watch you turn yourself on." 

Her fingers went to her right nipple and to her pussy automatically. She realized at that moment that she always turned herself on by the same method. She had masturbated for her men before, this part of the game was nothing new. But then Paul again took out the camera. "Good slut! Jerk that clit for your Master!" He fired off two more shots in rapid succession.

She felt ashamed and exhilarated at the same time to be made into a porno- slut for Paul's pleasure. She began to feel a small tingling, the beginnings of orgasm building within her. Faster and faster she stroked her swollen clitoris, her breath now coming in ragged gasps. "Stop!" he commanded, just before she was about to climax. She ignored him, and continued stroking her heated sex.

Paul stood up and grabbed her wrists in one hand. "I said, STOP slave! It's not time for you to cum yet. Not even close!" Victoria was stranded at the very brink of orgasm. She began to pull her hands free, begging "Please Paul...please master! I'm so close!" Frustrated, she struggled against his grip. He held on to her wrists firmly. "If you want to cum right now by your own hand, then fine. Say 'red' and we'll end the game right this second, and you can go on and finish...if that's what you really want." She relaxed and stopped struggling. "Women can cum more than once, you know!" she stated. "Talking back to your Master already, slave? Well then, perhaps it's time that you be taught a lesson..." He pulled her to her feet and flung her toward the bed. She sprawled across the queen- size mattress on her back. "Hey!" she complained.

He ignored her and took a length of the cotton clothesline from the dresser. "Clasp your hands in front of you as if you were praying, slut!" Victoria did so, her face showing both fear and arousal. "If you can't keep your hands away from your pussy, I'll have to help you!" He deftly tied her wrists together, snugly but allowing circulation. She tested the unfamiliar bonds, and discovered to her dismay that he had her hands trapped. "If you promise to keep quiet, I won't gag you," he continued, gently pushing her onto her back and pulling her legs apart. He took two lengths of rope and secured her spread legs to the footboard of the bed. She knew at that moment that she was committed to the game; despite her nervousness, she would play it out a little longer. But she knew she did not want him to stuff a gag into her mouth. If he did so, she would lose the power of the safe word... "Yes Master, I'll be quiet. Please don't gag me." It was just the reaction he had expected, and he smiled gently. 

"Since you're so fond of getting your pussy touched, I think I'll help you out. You're being pretty cooperative for a beginner, so I'll show you a little mercy." He took the camera in hand again and got a picture of her, tied and naked on the leopard skin print sheets. 

Paul reached for the bottle of the fruit- flavored "emotion lotion." He poured a small puddle of the liquid into his palm, and was surprised at the intense heat from the capsicum in the potion. He gently spread the lotion under Victoria's arms, under each earlobe, on her nipples and on her throbbing sex. Finally he took a few droplets of the liquid and smeared it around her pouting asshole. Then he began to slowly blow on the moistened areas, pausing occasionally to lick and nibble at the tasty flesh. 

Victoria squirmed against the bonds, her breathing deepening and little moans escaping her lips. The heat from the lotion made all of her sensitive places tingle and throb like mad! Paul's exploring tongue and lips were pushing her towards orgasm, and she began to rock her hips back and forth. 




Letting Go by Letting Go



Paul bent down between her legs and sucked her swollen clitoris between his lips. He gently sucked it until it was hard, and then he applied a little more of the heat lotion to her pouting labia. Gently he blew on her pussy and licked all around the clit, avoiding it, teasing her. He allowed himself to pull her sex lips between his teeth and gently bit and sucked on them. He could feel Victoria's orgasm approaching, and pulled away just before she was ready to cum.

"OHMYGOD!" Victoria cried aloud. "Please Master, please don't stop!" He laughed wickedly. "But of course I will stop, slut-slave. I still haven't decided whether or not I'll let you cum." 

Victoria's head began to swim. What if he wasn't going to let her cum? Perhaps he was punishing her for abandoning him all those years ago; she knew that she probably deserved it. The emotion lotion was still tingling her nipples and pussy, and she felt the flush of heat rush through her entire body. "Green, master, GREEN! Please... this feels so good! I love being tied up! Please make me your toy! Use me! But please let me CUM!"

"Toy?" he chuckled. "Good idea!" He reached for the camera, capturing her wanton expression on film. Then he took the dildo from the dresser and laid it between her heaving breasts. She looked down at it. "Wow!" she gasped. Again he took the camera in one hand and guided the dildo into her mouth with the other. "Suck this, bitch!" She allowed the thick plastic shaft into her mouth. He again photographed her. His abusive language strangely thrilled her, and she moaned into the head of the plastic cock. He pulled the vibrator from her mouth and placed it again between her tits, snapping another picture. He was enjoying this, she knew. And he was, because she was enjoying it. He slid a finger into her hot sex, savoring her gasp and the expression on her face. She was sopping wet! He took the vibrator and gently guided it into her. He then turned it on to a slow, gentle hum and stood back. "Oh Master Paul, that's good....that's very good..." she sighed, her hips again beginning to rock. The vibrator slipped out of her sodden cunt, and he slowly eased it back in. "Yes-s-s-s," she hissed, throwing her head back in an expression of pleasure. He didn't want her to cum yet, but he had set the vibrator to its lowest speed, and enjoyed her slow build toward climax.

The vibrator continued to slip out of her, so he took a long piece of rope and tied it around her slender waist. He then ran a second rope between her legs and tied both ends to the rope around her midsection. The rope was snug, and he pulled it over the end of the vibrator. If Victoria moved, he knew that the ropes would gently push the vibe into her. Again he took photographs as she gently struggled and squirmed, the vibrator humming inside her.

V. "What do you want to do now, slave? Besides cum, I mean..." He grinned at her from the foot of the bed. "I want to suck your cock, Master!" she moaned. He paused a moment, savoring her squirming, then reached down and removed the vibrator from her pussy. The expression of disappointment on her face was unmistakable, but he continued to untie her, freeing everything but her hands.

Victoria was relieved to feel the bonds loosen, and struggled onto all fours, her head facing him from the side of the bed. He set the camera on the dresser, and set the automatic exposure timer to fifteen seconds. He then shrugged off the robe. His hard phallus sprang forth from the silk boxer shorts, a droplet of pre-cum forming at the tip. He smiled at her and pressed the shutter switch, then walked over to the side of the bed. Gently he guided his tool into her waiting mouth. The camera fired, capturing the moment. "You're a little porn- slut, you know that Victoria?" She murmured her agreement around his throbbing cock. "You love sucking cock and getting your picture taken, don't you? You're such a hot little bitch! Suck that dick!" He allowed her to work on him for a few minutes, then pulled away and went over to the camera again. He pressed the shutter release, and the camera beeped out its fifteen second countdown. Enough time for Paul to guide his cock into his slave's mouth again. He grasped her hair and tried to turn her face toward the camera. He wanted to save the moment, her face filled with his rock- hard manhood. "Mff-no!" she protested, but it was too late. Gazing into the camera lens from behind her Master's rod, she saw the flash as the obscenity was captured for history.

She was turned on beyond belief. He was using her, making her into his own sexual play-toy, a slave without will and without control. He slid his rod in and out of her mouth again and again, as her tongue and lips eagerly devoured him.

Paul would not allow himself to cum, but he felt that the time was right for Victoria. She was panting before him, trembling and sweating. He guided her again onto her back.

He untied her wrists and then quickly and efficiently bound each wrist to each ankle. Her legs were now held open by her own arms, her tender feet within easy reach of his mouth and hands. He bent between her thighs and began to vigorously lick and suck at her. She cried aloud, begging him to complete her, to take her over the edge. He carefully monitored her responses, waiting for the precise moment. Her pussy began to spasm, and he pulled away. "No-o-o-o!" she cried. "P-please! Let me....." He gently guided the plastic cock into her slippery tunnel and turned it on "high." Time to go, he grinned to himself.

Victoria's eyes were clenched closed in ecstasy, the dildo moving in and out of her sex. Paul grasped her ankle and said, "Don't you DARE cum until I give you permission! Do you understand? If you start to cum before I have told you to, I will stop... and I may not start again. You're my slave- slut, and your orgasm is MY decision, not yours." She nodded, breathing heavily and beginning to weep. "Do you want me to stop? Do you want to call a red light and end this?" "Oh my god, no!" she nearly screamed. "Please Master...can I cum? PLEASE!?" He began to suck on her toes, licking between them and running his tongue up and down the sensitive arch and sole of her foot. He pumped the dildo into her with increasing speed and ferocity.

"Don't you cum until I tell you, slave! You're mine!" He switched to the other foot, sucking each toe as if it was her clitoris, plunging the vibrator into her. She began to tremble, tears forming in her eyes. Her speech became an incoherent babble of sighs, moans, little cries and pleadings. Paul savagely worked the dildo, making small circular motions with it inside her, sucking and licking at her feet.

He reached toward her chest, releasing her foot from his mouth. "CUM NOW, VICTORIA!" he cried, viciously pinching her right nipple between his thumb and forefinger as he pulled the dildo from her with agonizing slowness. 

Her orgasm came in waves that wouldn't cease. She thrashed on the bed, the vibrator now poised at the opening to her vulva, the tip tingling at her clit. The deep guttural roar which issued from her mouth surprised both her and the man who had brought her to this peak. She twitched and shivered, screaming obscenities between the groans and cries.

Finally, it was over. He kissed her long and full on her mouth, tasting her tears. He untied her quickly and turned the vibrator off.

She lay in his arms for an hour. "I've never cum like that...ever!" she repeated over and over, sighing as she burrowed her face into his chest. He had dominated her, and had taken all control away. Freed from her own mind, she was free to release the orgasm that had waited within her for nearly thirty years.

She fell into an exhausted sleep. Paul rose quietly from the bed and put on his robe. As she gently snored on the strange sheets, he cleaned up the vibrator, put the ropes and toys into the dresser drawer knowing that they might someday be used again. 

As he lit a cigarette, he reflected that he himself had not had an orgasm. No worries, he smiled. "She'll be awake in a few hours...and then perhaps she'll want to dominate me...."