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Lavender

By: asiansilk



The scent of jasmine invaded the room as she opened the window to let in the cool air. Only then did she notice the rose petals scattered across the bed, blowing in the breeze. Entranced she watched each petal flutter and fall as if replaced by some invisible hand. Scanning the room she noticed the burgundy silk sheets, candles flickering and the champagne by the bed. Smiling softly to herself she turned and walked right into the embrace of her lover. 

Placing a gentle kiss on her lips, he slowly unbuttoned her blouse, watching as each button further revealed the swell of her breasts. Sighing softly as he kissed her shoulder, she leaned her head back. Her raven locks spilled over her shoulder and down her back like a silken waterfall. Seeing the newly exposed flesh of her graceful neck, he slowly made his way down the gentle curve with feathery kisses. 

The sensation of his moistened lips passing over her skin sent shivers down her spine as she anticipated his every touch. A soft sigh escaped her lips as he continued to travel lower, kissing each swell above her pale lavender bra. Slowly he peeled the shirt off her shoulder, grazing her arm with his lips. Each brief contact felt like a tiny spark to her. She ran her hands through his hair and pulled gently to bring his lips up to meet hers. His moist, soft lips were like nothing she had ever known.

His mouth lingered on her lower lip as he started to nibble it lightly. She could feel an answering call in her hardening nipples and in the tingle that traveled ever lower. Shifting her hips, she wiggled out of her silk skirt and let it puddle to the floor around her ankles. Her lover's gaze took in the sight she presented to him. Her petite frame looked almost too frail to support her ample breasts, which curved down into slender hips and muscular legs. Devoid of her clothes, she was dressed only in her pale lavender bra with black lace edging, matching panties, garter belt and black silk stockings.

Stepping back, she took in the sight of him standing across from her. She scanned him from head to toe taking in each detail of her lover. He was tall with a medium frame, brown hair and coffee brown eyes. He was not an exceptionally handsome man, more like the cute boy next door, but to her he exuded sensuality and sex appeal. As she perused him, her eyes settled on his face.

His eyes sparkled with mischief and he had a look of amusement on his lips. As she watched, he casually leaned back against the wall, grinned and let her have her fill. With an answering grin playing across her lips she moved back towards him, hand reaching out to unwrap the lavender silk necktie from under his crisp gray collared shirt. It matched beautifully with his charcoal pinstriped suit. Loosening his tie, she slipped it over his head and placed it around her own neck, after all, the shade was a perfect match to her remaining ensemble. 

She ran her hands down and stopped at the waistband of his slacks. Pulling out his shirt she snaked her hands underneath it and stroked his warm chest. Taking her fingernails, she lightly ran them over his stiffening nipples and listened to his sharp intake of breath. Sliding her hands back outside his shirt, she deftly unbuttoned it and pulled it down over his broad shoulders. Undoing his belt, she teased him by slowly and agonizingly sliding it out of the pant loops one by one.

As she slid down to the floor, he could feel her warm breath through his pants. Her hands trailing down his legs, she undid the zipper and slid her hand inside. She felt his silk boxers, cool against her hand until she slid her fingers through their opening. The hot contrast of him against the cool silk jolted her to her core. Her hand traveled along his skin, reveling in the soft texture of it. Even after all this time she still could not get over how silky his skin felt there. Men were not supposed to have such soft skin, especially enclosing something that was as hard as steel. She marveled at the uniqueness of the feeling. 

He looked down, watching her exploration through half-lidded eyes, sighing lightly as her hands continued to play. Relaxing and sinking further into the wall, he suddenly shot straight upright as he felt her warm mouth enclose just the tip of him. Smiling softly to herself as she felt his reaction, she continued to suckle him gently. Every now and then letting her tongue lick his shaft, reveling in the low moans she heard coming from deep inside his chest. When she tired of the teasing, she slid her mouth all the way down onto him. Sucking harder, she swirled the tip of her tongue around his head, like a luscious lollipop. The taste of him was intoxicating, his precum sweet in her mouth. 

She could feel his hips moving now, back and forth, as she continued. Unable to stop herself, her hand traveled beneath her panties and she stroked her swollen, slippery lips. Rubbing her clit in rhythm with his movements, she could feel the pressure building inside. She sucked faster and faster on his cock, also increasing the speed of her rubbing fingers. She felt him stiffen and her body responded in like. As he shot into her mouth she simultaneously felt her body tense and shards of pleasure radiating from within. She swallowed over and over and then licked her lips so as not to miss a drop.

Looking into his eyes, she brought her fingers to her mouth and sucked each one slowly. They both grinned at the other, he at her mischievous teasing and she at the stirring movement she saw in response to that teasing. He reached down, pulled her off the floor and laid her on the smooth, cool silk....it was going to be a long, pleasurable night.

Lavender



There was already chamomile in the house. She had grown accustomed to it strong with lemon juice and honey. Drunk like this it induced a heady sleep. In order to carry out his instructions she would have to go shopping for the other things. These were but one of many instructions. Written and sent by email. To please they were to be carried out exactly.

She started on Wednesday and bought the baby oil, going to the supermarket as usual. Throwing fruit, milk, and other everyday stuff into the trolley. As per instructions she wore no knickers. Under her skirt she was yet no one knew. She thought about him entirely. Her labia beginning to swell as she reached for the oil and placed it amongst other groceries.

Thursday passed. She promised herself that she would complete this all by Saturday afternoon. On Friday she went shopping for lavender. In a town full of intelligent faces with nothing else to buy. She wore a slightly shorter skirt. The afternoon sunlight warmed her back, arms and legs taught from rowing. Tight and tense from a difficult meeting. Again naked beneath her skirt. More naked because she had removed her pubic hair. A naked vagina, pubescent and expectant for Saturday's pleasure. She found the lavender oil in amongst other extravagances at the back of the book shop. Removed the stopper to sample the aroma and think of him.

Morning: Saturday. Busy life so time passed. Breakfasts and packing off children. A quick dash to the gym and protracted row. Meeting a new personal trainer and as many abdominal sit ups as her body could muster. Trying not to think of him. Teaching, phone calls and decisions. Her smooth naked body and between her legs aching for him.

Saturday's late afternoon/early evening had arrived. She bathed and wrapped herself in a towel. Made her chamomile tea. Made it strong and added fresh pressed lemon juice and honey. Tested the taste. Took the baby oil and lavender oil and went upstairs to bed.

Warm sunlight poured through the floral curtains. The light was good. The room was warm. She lay across her bed and peeled off the bath towel so as to lay on it. Began to drink her tea which she placed, between sips, on a small chair next to her bed. Thoughts of him crowded her mind, wanting him to be thinking of her also. Began to remember the first time they might make love together on this very bed. 

The smell of his body. The sound of his voice.....'Let me see what you have for me....'

She dotted lavender oil along the edges of the towel on which she lay. Its strong heady scent filled the air and she visualised the purple haze of lavender fields according to his instructions. These were their fields and their fields alone. And no one could take then away from her. No one could take him away from her. The touch of his lips and the promise of that first kiss.

So she drank tea to wet her lips, drank until it warmed her hungry belly. Took oil, poured it first along her arms and rubbed her forearms. Outlining her muscles each arm with care. Oiled her thighs and knees. Oiled her calves and the backs of her ankles and her Achilles tendons. Strong feet, each one raised into the air, pointed toes like a ballerina. Oiled between her toes. Her insoles. Her hands became his. Massaging herself according to his instructions.

Then she paused to drink more tea, closing her eyes as it trickled down her throat. Thought of his mouth and his tongue inside hers. And their saliva meeting. 

She poured oil onto the flat surface of her belly. Hands stroked the oil into her brown skin. Body shining in the sunlight. Closed her eyes and thought of their dream bed coalescing and becoming real in the centre of a world of lavender fields. Anarchies of scattered poppies. Breezes turning flowers into to waves and her hands moved lower. She breathed deeply and more deeply. Breathed aikido-like into her hara. Moving her hands in between her legs and separating her thighs. Feeling the smoothness around her labia and vagina. Created her hands as his and his alone. Took her right forefinger and traced her labia, felt them parting and the wetness in between. Thought of the outline of his mouth and the sculptured edges of his lips and that he could be poised to kiss her . Brushed her clitoris until the tip of it swelled and was erect. Gently pushed one finger inside her vagina, brushing her clitoris as he might. Visualised his name and said it secretly in side her head as if calling him. Two fingers now inside. His beautiful perfect fingers fucking her. Felt herself wet and relaxed around him. Felt herself tense and pull her rim of muscles as if drawing him deeper inside her body. Thought of their first meeting and how quickly he might simply be aroused for her.

Her two fingers moved more quickly, vaginal muscled pulling skin on skin. And he was fucking her. She rounded her back, breathed deeply then caught her breath, bent her knees. Her feet arched as if she held him there between them. Then pressed her fingers even deeper inside to reach her g spot. Wanted his kisses and his mouth upon hers. Sweated so that her sweat mingled with the oil on her skin. More deep penetrations with her hand. Thought of the sweat on his body and the heat generated between them. Decided now that if her hand was actually him that she would give herself entirely to him now, move towards his thrust and entirely match his rhythm.....'Good girl............' Knew only that she was carrying out his instructions, the first of many. Wanted this to last forever. Needed so to come. 

As her fingers penetrated finally hot fluid gushed from deep inside her, flooding her hand. Running down the inside of her legs. Like a river. The towel beneath her soaked with cum. All the muscles of her body melted for him. The centre of all her thoughts held him. Held him close to her and in her arms...until her hands became her own once more and softer ripples of juice eased out of her. She moved to pull a blanket around her. Wrapped her arms around herself and curled childlike. Wanted him to be there to commend her on carrying out his instructions. 'Good girl'.........only an echo of his perfect voice. The sweet strong smell of lavender remaining. And slept. 



Lavender



Copyright Oggbashan October 2013

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons. 

*************************************************

I was looking forward to a few weeks with my brother and his wife. I used to visit them at least once a year, whenever I was in the UK. They have a rambling old house in the South Hams of Devon. I needed to rediscover my roots and perhaps put some real ones down somewhere. While I was with them I would be a part of the family. They had their own lives to lead and might be missing for a few days. If they were, I'd fend for myself.

Last year's summer holiday after the car crash in Africa had been the last strain on our marriage. Maria had helped to nurse me after I was discharged from the hospital. My left leg had been the worst damaged, and I now had some metal pins permanently holding it together.

It didn't matter to Maria that the accident had not been my fault and I hadn't been driving. She did what she could for me but my temporary dependence was too much for both of us. We had been drifting apart for years, while maintaining a front for the rest of the world. Our enforced proximity brought things to a head. We went for a weekend break. After the first night alone together Maria flew into one of her increasingly frequent rages. This one was different. We said things to each other that never should be said.

Maria and I agreed to separate. We went to a local African lawyer and made an agreement dividing our property. She would keep the part share in the Safari Park and our other African assets. I would have the London house and our assets in the UK. In theory her share was larger than mine, but mine were possibly more stable, less likely to grow perhaps, but also less risky.

Some people might describe us as wealthy. If we didn't overextend ourselves we could live adequately as self employed people managing our assets. Maria would live better than me on a large African estate with servants and staff. That was possible where she lived, but not for me in England.

Two months ago I had returned to the UK. I had lived in various hotels until the current tenants vacated the London house. I had then employed builders for a couple of months to redecorate and improve the house, adding handrails etc. to help with my temporary disability. 

There was now no one, except my brother and his wife, and their home help Janet, left to care whether I lived or died. They didn't compensate for the loss of my wife nor the children we never had.

The taxi driver carried my battered suitcase along the flower-flanked path to the house as I limped beside him leaning on my cane. The medics said I would need to use it for another couple of months and might be nearly as fit as I had been by Christmas or early next year.

"Ian!" Angela flew out of the front door, wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. That was a great welcome. Even if she is my brother's wife and therefore taboo, Angela is a woman I love for who she is.

Alan followed her and gave me a hearty handshake and his arm around my shoulder. I feel like the 'little' brother whenever we met. Alan is ten years older and six inches taller. Angela is four inches taller than me yet I am only a couple of inches short of six foot.

In the doorway stood their 'daily' Janet. She smiled at me. Janet makes me think of clotted cream and pasties. She isn't plump, just gently rounded in the right places on her trim frame. She has the true Devon burr and seems part of the land. Her family have lived locally forever. Janet kissed me as well. She had never kissed me before. I enjoyed that kiss. It seemed to say 'welcome home' in a way that no one else had yet said. It reminded me that Janet is an attractive woman. 

I had noticed that before but dismissed the thought. Each time Marie and I had visited we had been fighting each other and trying to hide it from Alan and Angela. We had been so involved with our arguments that I hadn't considered Janet's attractiveness, or our surroundings. Before I had married Marie, Janet had shown me around some of the local countryside while Alan and Angela were busy with their children. I might have considered her as a possible partner, but Janet was married. Our only 'sexual' contact was an occasional hug and a peck on the cheek.

"Ian," said Angela, "We are pleased you arrived when you did. We have to collect Sarah's girls in a few minutes. We should be back in about half an hour. Janet will look after you."

Angela turned to Janet. 

"He'll be in the Lavender room. Make him some tea, please."

"The Lavender room? Are you sure that's wise?"

"Of course it is, Janet. The guest bedrooms are being decorated. They've taken longer than planned. We didn't expect the ceilings to be so bad. We thought the painters would be finished before Ian arrived, but they've been working on some outside jobs. The weather has been better than usual. They will take a few more days."

Angela and Alan drove away in different directions. Cecily is twelve and at 'big' school. Phoebe is ten and itching to join her sister.

Janet took my case. I followed her up the stairs towards the attic. I could tell that she wasn't happy.

"What's this about the Lavender room, Janet? Is it damp or something more sinister?"

"I don't think they'd like me to tell you, Ian, but I think I should. Come down to the kitchen. I'll make you a cup of tea and then I'll tell you."

She put my suitcase on the bed and left. I hung my two suits and my now redundant uniform in the curtained alcove. I looked around the room. Apart from the uneven floorboards, the walls that weren't straight, the tilted window it looked perfectly normal. For a room in Alan and Angela's house it was normal. The walls and ceiling were plain white. There was no lavender colour anywhere so why was it called the Lavender room? It looked out over the back garden to the sea in the far distance. No lavender out there. The only lavender flanked the front path.

The kitchen was as I remembered it. This was Janet's domain. The washed stone flagged floor, the scrubbed pine table, the gleaming Aga, all looked timeless. The kettle was just beginning to whistle as I sat on a wheel back chair by the table. I felt happy here. It wasn't my home but this kitchen was as closer to a home than anything I had left.

"So, Janet, what is the mystery of the Lavender room? You had better tell me soon. They'll be back shortly."

"No they won't. They always underestimate how long it takes to collect the girls. Even today they'll stand around and chat. They have to take them home to Sarah. They'll talk to her and admire the new baby. I don't expect them for an hour from now.

"I think you are stalling, Janet. What about the Lavender room?"

Janet poured the tea and sat down at the table. She looked serious.

"Alan and Angela think I'm a silly old fool," she started.

"Old isn't true, Janet. I don't think you are silly or a fool either."

"Thank you, Ian. You have always listened to me as if what I said was important."

"And why wouldn't it be?"

"Never mind. About the Lavender room. I know it is haunted..."

"By whom or what?" I asked.

"By one of my ancestors. Well, not exactly an ancestor, because she didn't have children, but she was the sister of the man who was one of my ancestors. Dorcas died before she had children."

"Who was Dorcas?" I asked. 

"Dorcas was one of the maids. She was twenty-three. Her first intended husband had been a fisherman lost at sea. She was going out with Josh, one of the farm workers."

"What happened?"

"Josh was caught smuggling, not for the first time. He was trying to get enough money to marry and set up home with Dorcas. He was offered a choice. Either he would be prosecuted and convicted or he could enlist in the Army. It was the time of the Crimean War. He knew that he faced a long jail term so he chose to enlist. He came to tell Dorcas. She told him that she was pregnant. They spent the night together and Josh left just before dawn, joining his regiment at Plymouth. He promised to come back before he sailed but couldn't because as a reluctant recruit he wasn't allowed out of barracks for the first three months. Before he could visit Dorcas his regiment was on the ship which left within hours. He never knew that Dorcas committed suicide by drowning herself as soon as she knew he had gone. He was killed at Inkerman."

"A sad story but not uncommon. I suppose she lived in the Lavender room?"

"Yes. It is called the Lavender room because Dorcas used lavender as a perfume. She kept dried lavender heads among her few clothes and used lavender water on herself. The lavender plants are still lining the front path."

"Janet. This is interesting but what about the haunting?"

"Josh told her he would return before he sailed. They hoped to get the vicar to marry them before he left for the Crimea. When he didn't visit before sailing Dorcas knew that she would have the baby before Josh came back. She couldn't face the disgrace. She went to the point to watch his ship depart and then threw herself into the sea. Although she could swim, she couldn't while wearing all the clothes a Victorian woman wore at that time. The Vicar and the Coroner at the inquest took the charitable view that she slipped, and her death was an accident. All the locals knew that it wasn't.

It is said that Dorcas' ghost is still waiting for Josh. Most of the time the Lavender room is perfectly normal. But when a man stays there..."

"I'm not Josh."

"Dorcas doesn't know that."

I decided that this story was just one of those traditions that still live in the countryside. I'd let Janet warn me of the dangers and ignore them. I couldn't see that the ghost of a maid was likely to frighten me.

"OK," I said. "Assume Dorcas thinks I'm Jonas. What happens to men who stay in that room?"

"It is serious, Ian, not a joke." Janet had detected the sarcasm in my voice.

"Then you had better tell me the worst, Janet, so that I'm prepared."

Janet looked at me as if unsure whether I really wanted to know. She sighed, sipped her tea, and said:

"First there is a smell of lavender in the room. Then Dorcas climbs into bed with the man..." Janet paused.

"And?" I asked, "this does sound interesting."

"Dorcas makes love. After several hours she seems to realise that he isn't Josh. She tries to kill him with even more energetic sex. If she isn't satisfied with his performance she drowns herself -- again, with realistic and grisly sound effects. The man is exhausted. Dorcas is an enthusiastic lover. The next morning the man usually needs assistance to get up and the room is strongly scented with lavender. One night is enough for most men. During the First World War a sergeant was here recovering from a gas attack. He was found dead."

"With a smile on his face?"

"You are incorrigible, Ian!" Janet protested. "Yes. He was smiling."

"Then I don't think I have much to fear from Dorcas. Apart from my leg I'm very fit. I know that an active woman can wear any man out but at the moment I'd welcome such an encounter. I have a year or so's abstinence to make up for."

"What about Maria?" Janet asked.

"What about Maria?" I repeated. "We haven't been in face to face contact for months. I suppose we will divorce when we have been apart long enough. In the UK it's three years isn't it? I don't know and I'm haven't bothered to find out. Marie said that she would make enquiries in Africa to see whether it would be easier there. I don't have a lover hidden away waiting for me, or anyone who cares about me. "

"That is sad, Ian."

"Yes, Janet, it is. Once we meant something to each other but we grew apart and the accident broke the fragile tie that was left. Now there is nothing. I need to start again. So does she."

Janet said nothing as she refilled my cup. She shook her head as if trying to remove something unpleasant.

"Be careful, Ian," she said at last. "Alan and Angela love you. I wouldn't want them hurt by your unhappiness. You are an easy target for a man-hunting woman and there are enough of them around here. Watch out for mantraps."

I laughed. The idea of me being pursued by women broke my sombre mood.

"The only mantrap I see around here is you, Janet. I could do far worse than court my sister's daily."

"Don't say things like that unless you mean them, Ian. Did you know that I am single again?"

"No! What happened?"

"He found a younger version in Plymouth. He left me three years ago. My divorce became final a few months ago."

"I'm sorry, Janet. He was a fool not to realise what he had."

I hobbled round the table to her, put my arms around her, and kissed the top of her head.

Alan and Angela returned with Sarah and the granddaughters, Cecily and Phoebe. Sarah said that the granddaughters wanted to see Great-Uncle Ian. I doubted that. Cecily and Phoebe rushed off to see Janet. I heard them rampaging around the house as we drank coffee. They did pop their heads around the door to give their aged relative a suspiciously jammy peck on the cheek but then they were off to run around the house again. 

Sarah and the girls left shortly before dinner. All four of us sat down for the meal. Janet explained that she had sometimes stayed with Alan and Angela while her house was being finally decorated. She and her husband had sold the old large house and split the proceeds. Janet had a nearly renovated house that had been extended from an old cottage. Her husband had bought a terraced house in Plymouth. 

After dinner we sat around drinking. I drank far too much of Alan's deceptively smooth old Port. When I reeled upstairs at the end of the evening Alan had to prop me up. After a quick wash I fell into the bed naked and passed out.

I stirred. I was still half-asleep dreaming of making love to Janet. She was slightly soft and cuddly and our love-making was slow and sensuous, unlike the frenzied energetic coupling that had been the norm with Maria.

What had woken me was someone climbing into bed alongside me. An arm reached across and stroked my chest. There was a strong scent of lavender.

"Dorcas?" I asked.

"Yes, Josh, who else would I be?"

Her Devon burr was much stronger than Janet's but she sounded similar. I could easily believe she was one of Janet's relations. Dorcas was heavier built and skin on her hands felt slightly rougher as they wandered over my chest.

Dorcas slid between me and the mattress.

"Come on, Josh," she purred, "Show me what a man can do."

I kissed her. Her mouth opened and her tongue slid into mine. I could feel the bump of her pregnancy, not yet large enough to impede lovemaking, but too large to hide. 

Dorcas' arms wrapped around me. She pulled me up so that my erection was brushing against her pussy's hairs. She wriggled against me, spreading her legs as I began to enter her. Her hands grabbed my hips and pulled. I gasped as I slid deep into her.

"You can do better than that, Josh," Dorcas said. "I'll help."

Her legs wrapped around me and clamped against me. I was deeper into Dorcas than I had ever been in Maria. Dorcas and I pounded together harder and harder. My injured leg was throbbing with pain but the sexual excitement transcended it. The pain gradually subsided as the sensation of violent penetration and passive engulfment by a passionate woman overrode everything but our exhilaration. When I was almost on the point of emission Dorcas held back, relaxing her grip until the point of crisis passed, clamping hard again as soon as the near orgasm had gone.

She emitted faint yells and squeals as she reached her peak time and time again. The noise of our love-making probably couldn't be heard in the rest of the house, because Dorcas' excited responses were consciously muted.

I don't know how long that first coupling took. Once Dorcas allowed me to cum into her I slumped across her body, exhausted. My leg had become a dull ache. I rolled away. Dorcas followed, resting her head on my shoulder with a hand close, too close, to my worn out manhood.

I think I must have slept for some time. I woke to find Dorcas' hand stroking me to stiffness again. While she was still holding the important part of me, her face hovered over mine before kissing me long and hard.

This time she rode me. My hands sought her breasts, squeezed, stroked and caressed as her movements became more and more frenzied. It seemed as if she wanted to push me right through the mattress when she pounded downwards. The scent of lavender was even stronger as our bodies became heated. 

Dorcas arched her back with a final squeal and shuddered. Her lower lips clamped hard around my stiff member, which was now too sore to ejaculate. 

"You didn't cum, Josh," she said accusingly as she relaxed.

"I couldn't," I replied. "I'm too sore."

"Too sore? Not man enough, more like. You need to be all man for me, Josh."

"I'm not Josh," I dared to say.

"Not Josh? Where is he?"

"I'm sorry, Dorcas. He's dead. He died a long time ago. So did you."

"I'm dead? Then how can I do this?"

Her pussy clamped hard around my sore member.

"Ow! I don't know. But please be gentle..."

"But I like making love, often..."

"And apparently you can, but you're a ghost."

"A ghost who can feel you, and you can feel me?"

"I certainly can, Dorcas. You are wonderfully solid."

"If you aren't Josh, who are you?"

"I'm Ian, and I'm very pleased to meet you, Dorcas."

"If you are so pleased, Ian, why have you stopped?"

"Because I'm worn out and sore. I hadn't made love for months and..."

Dorcas' lips silenced me. She kissed me. As she did, her body squeezed again. Despite the soreness I felt an erection start to return.

"That's better. Hold on."

Dorcas pounded me again and again until I couldn't hold back. My whole being was centred on my erection that spurted deep into her. I slumped back.

"That's it? You're done?" Dorcas asked.

"For tonight? Probably yes. I'd need a rest before I could respond again."

"That isn't really good enough. You aren't up to Josh's stamina. He could make love all night long... Well perhaps not all night but more than you have."

"How old was Josh?"

"How old? Twenty-five I think. I'm twenty-three."

"That's the difference, Dorcas. I'm over forty."

"Over forty, Ian? That's really old."

"I feel it."

"Very well, Ian. I'll let you rest tonight, but I want more tomorrow night."

Dorcas asked me about how long it had been since Jonas died, what life was like now, and about me. We chatted for about a quarter of an hour. At the time it didn't seem odd to be talking to a ghost. Her warm, lavender-scented body was pressed against mine and felt wholly real.

Eventually I admitted that I was worn out. Dorcas kissed me.

"Sleep now," she said. 

Dorcas snuggled against my shoulder. Her erect nipples dug into my chest. I was soon asleep.

When I woke up it was daylight. The bed showed the impression of Dorcas and there was still a very strong scent of lavender. If I hadn't felt so much pain, I could have believed it was a dream.

I found it difficult to get out of bed. My injured leg was stiff and sore. It took me a long time to wash and dress, hobbling around with my cane. I came down the stairs very slowly. There was no one around but there were noises from the kitchen. I went in.

"Hello Ian," Janet said. "Ready for breakfast? The others are on the school run..."

She turned to look at me as she spoke the last few words. She pulled out a chair beside the kitchen table.

"Sit down!" she ordered. "You look dreadful. What's wrong?"




Lavender and Fear



* James and Jenny Belong to me. Have fun with them, please don't steal them.

____________________

Jenny Harper was dying. Her breath was coming too fast and her heart fluttered, beating itself to death against her ribs. Salty, clean tears slipped from her doe eyes and slid in tracks down her dirty tan cheeks. Her skin was butter soft, and used to smell like lavender, but now only smelled of fear. Thick and cloying was the scent, sliding against my face like a long forgotten lover. She was whispering, softly uttering words against my throat. 

"Please, don't. Stop. Please, Stop." She whimpered, her words lost and crushed against my fevered skin. "I'll do anything you want. Please, stop." It was a lie of course. Jenny wouldn't do anything I wanted. It's what had gotten her here, naked and crushed against my skin, left beautifully in my tender mercies. I would have laughed at her lies if I could have released her for but a moment. What a dirty little liar. 

I reached one hand down and tore open her shirt from collar to waist, exposing that milky expanse of spine to the cold dank air. The silk made a thick wet sound that was almost lost in my Jenny's shrill scream.

"No, no, no. What are you doing? Please." She was panicking, her words hot and rushed. She struggled filing her body against mine in heavy waves of panic and anger. She needn't have wasted the energy, I simply pressed my mouth closer to her fear tainted skin. She whimpered, and I smiled gently against her skin at the noise. I worried at her neck, tearing at that sweet tender flesh and ripped those dark whimpers from her throat. "Noooo. Plea—" She didn't finish her words, I simply ripped the cloth from her chest, and threw it to the dirty floor. Her breath came in harsh gasps as I took us both to the floor, crushing her in the dirt beneath me. She cried harder now, her face screwed up like a child afraid of the dark. She learned too late that the things in the dark are real. 

I ripped the scrap of purple lace she called a bra from her chest, my clawed fingers leaving marks in her skin. She screamed in pain and I reveled in it, grinding my hips against her. Jenny thrashed again, kicking her legs against me and pulling my hair. I liked it, I moaned my pleasure against her skin and released her throat from my mouth. Blood trickled in a slow river down her neck, to pool in the hollow of her collarbone. Her collar was so delicate, a soft sweeping of winged arches framing small pert breasts. I slapped them, closing my eyes against the sound of her flesh. She whimpered and I slapped them again, harder, opening my eyes to watch her tiny blushing nipples harden against my attack, thrusting defiantly into the cold air. I grinned at her, twisting her left nipple pulling it forward and releasing it. 

'Uhh!" she cried out and her body arched from the floor, thrusting her groin against mine. I stilled like a snake in the chill and did it again, twisting, pulling listening to her moan in pain, I licked my lips. "Please... Please..." her sweet voice was nothing now. A simple wrecked shutter into the air. I leaned my face into hers, scraped my teeth against her forehead, against her tender button of a nose, and bit deep into that rosebud mouth. I drew blood. She arched against me again, a moan shattered from her throat. My tongue swept along her throat, dipped into my pool of her life blood, and I painted it across her handful of breast, painting her nipples the color of sin. 

My dark claws lead themselves as if with a mind of their own along her buttery skin, tearing lightly into that flesh, and smearing the beads of blood along the way. They found themselves at her panties, damp from her sweat and the darkness of her womanhood. How I love silk. I crushed my fingers into her sweet darkness, tearing desperate "no's" and dark little screams from Jenny's mouth. I pushed into that hotness through her panties, listening to the music of silk ripping and tearing against my claws. Her body stilled below me, her breath going soft and deep. The smell of desire mingled with the air. Fear, Sex and Lavender. I found her button and pinched it, Jenny twitched and let out a little cry, her body began shaking. 

I bit into her breast, worrying and tearing at her skin, drawing thick blood into my mouth, and she moaned, thrusting her puss against my violating hand. The shaking worsened, the edge of climax tainting her hot breaths. I pulled my hand away from her clit, followed the edge of her thigh, and brought it back again, violently smacking at her evidence of lady hood. She cringed in pain, crying out and trying to squirm away through the dirt. I released her and let her crawl, flipping herself over and dragging her beautiful breasts through the dust, her blood mingled in dark tracks following in her wake. Death makes you slow. I tilted my head and watched her like a bird with it's prey. Following the line of her body with my eyes, her curve of ass, that dark tempting hollow between her thighs, the bloodied marks my fingers had made in her thighs. I wanted to bite the sweet pit of her knee, rip her little dirty socks from her feet. She kept crawling though, and I let her, listening to her cry, and whimper. With a soft snapping noise, like stepping on light bulbs, I broke the tethers tying the front of my fly together, my member already threatening to rip from the pants, she turned her head slowly as if in horror, flinching with each sound. My mouth parted and Jenny let out a soft scream, but my mouth was not for her at this moment, I slip my fingers across my tongue, wetting them with my saliva, and slid my hand down my chest, gripping my cock and pulling it from it's confines. Her chocolate browns grew huge and she half screamed through a closed mouth, scrambling in the dirt for the door. 

I was upon her before she could move. I dug my claws into her sides and drew her to me with her own body. "No!" she screamed, "No please! Not that! Please!" I love that word. Please. I ripped her panties from her tiny waist, crushing them with one hand and stuffing them into her mouth. She cried, and tried to spit them out making such pitiful noises. Jenny snapped her thighs together, trapping me away from her, just barely out of reach. I slid the tip of my dick just so into her, just touching the place my fingers were pinching before. She cried against her ruined underwear, using her hands to try and push the tattered remains of what was once a skirt over her nakedness, between her darkness and my seeking member. This just would not do. I stood and discarded my pants, the leather pooling like so much lonely fabric, tore her skirt to shreds of fabric and tossed it aside. She whimpered and her tiny painted hands moved up to take out the wad of panties. I slapped her hands away, slapping her across the face for her defiance. We played this game twice more, she reached to remove them, and I slapped her, harder each time. Her hands fell away finally as a ruby drop of blood slinked from the corner of her mouth, dropping onto the curve of her small breast. 

When she lay docile I stood once again and retrieved rope from a bucket near the dead cold fireplace. I slid the length of rope against her body, trailing it through the blood on her chest before flipping her roughly onto her stomach and tying her hands together. She thrashed again, not as strongly as before and let a long pathetic whine from her chest. Forcing her feet apart, and thrusting my hips between her resisting legs. I slipped my hands down her back, tracing my marks, slipped my fingers down her ass crack, slipping them inside gently to touch that pucker and she twitched violently, then further below her body to that wet small cunt. Her whine was louder now, and I licked fresh tears from her cheeks. I slipped my fingers past the lips, twisting them violently into her darkness. What I found even I could not have guessed. My dirty little liar was untouched. I grinned, my teeth flashing into the dark, and she muttered negative comments into the muffling panties. I slid my fingers back, rubbing her slick wetness onto my throbbing cock. 

"Twenty years old, and never touched by a man." Her eyes widened at my voice, it was dark and cracked sound, I never found much need for it. "I get the dirty little liar all to myself." I rubbed my cock into the separation of her buttocks, sliding wetly between her cheeks. "I am going to hurt you. I am going to shove this inside of you and make you bleed all over me. My teeth will rip into your skin while I fuck you, and I will bleed you to death." I ran a hand over her dark messy hair, twirling her bangs around my finger. "Would you like that?" She shook her head, fat tears sliding down her face, falling like rain into the dirt. I shifted her body, putting me on my heels and her thighs across mine. It flung her face into the dirt and I laughed, the tip of my cock sliding home into the very edge of her pussy. I ground her breasts into the floor, and rocked slowly back and forth at the hip, slipping the head of my cock slowly in and out at the start of her cunt. "You won't like that?" I whispered the words into the heated skin of her lower back, grazing it with my teeth. She muttered incomprehensible words into the cloth in her mouth, tears coming thick and fast. "I don't care." The words were forced from between my teeth, as I tasted the acrid salt of sweat on her spine. She groaned. I was undone. I thrust my cock inside her, fast and rough, pulling thick wet sounds from between us.

"Uhh!" she screamed, and thrashed as I shattered her innocence with my massive cock, stretching her pussy to it's very limits, ripping her hymen to bits. The warmth of maiden blood covered me, easing my cock into her almost, almost all the way. I pulled out, to the very tip, and she sighed, relaxed, thinking me finished with her. Stupid lying bitch. My hands reached forward and pulled the gag from her mouth. She screamed into the floor, sucking dirt into her nose, and I thrust forward again, shoving my thick member all the way into her torn and violated pussy. "No!" she screamed, the words shuttered and forced "No! Stop!" I rammed into her over and over, listening to her scream, and watching the sweat drip down her body. When her aching stopped, and her darkness grew used to me, I slowed my thrusts, pulling them in and out ever so slowly easing myself through the wet and the blood. She whimpered low in her throat, trying to push me away with the tips of her fingers, struggling against her bonds. "Please..." She whispered the words to me in the darkness, and I slipped my fingers around the front of our joined bodies, gripping her breasts, making tiny crescents of blood with my claws. I pulled back with one hand, tearing at her hair and pulling her neck back in a graceful arc. With the other I gripped the button of her clit, flicking it, watching her breath come as her traitorous pussy responded to my actions. "Please, Don't." Her words had no force now, no real heart, not as her cunt reacted and clenched on my invading cock. I got rougher, grinding my dick against the tender walls of her body, thrusting uncontrollably, and she let out a guttural, animal moan. "Oh! Uh! It hurts! It hurts! You're hurting me!" I pulled on her tiny clit, rubbing it with my fingers. 

Jenny's hair fell into her face in wet strips as I released it, putting my hand in the center of her stomach and pushing backwards, making her sit up on my cock. She moaned in pain as her unused pussy adjusted to my abuse, my rough fucking forcing blood and womanly liquid from her puss. She groaned and slid up just the littlest bit, fucking herself on my cock. I kept my fingers where they were, teasing her clit as I tormented her with my member, she slowed and stopped, just sitting on my cock with it stretching her wide, her tiny cunt pulsing against me. I put my teeth against the back of her neck, tasting the sweat of her body and growled, thrusting deep into her innocence again. Her fear spiked, and she lifted, trying to get away from me. I gripped her with one hand, holding her shuttering body on top of my cock and made her rock her body, over and over again, made her fuck me with her own muscles, violating herself. I flicked my fingers against that spot inside her once more and her breath came in quick little pants. Her tears fell quickly, dripping against my knees, and I took over once more, gripping her hair and forcing her body up and down against mine, flicking my fingers over that pulsing little nub. She moaned loudly and twitched against me, the muscles in her stomach and cunt clenching so tightly against me. She screamed into the cold air as her first pleasure hit her, ripping scream after scream from her body. I bit into the vein in the side of her body, tearing her open and she struggled against the throws of her climax to get away from me. 

I shoved her forward, pressing her tight little body into the wooden door in front of us, I could feel it scrapping into the flesh of my fingers, rubbing harshly against her perfect little nipples. Her breath hissed in pain and I thrust as hard and as deep as I could into her cunt, ripping a scream from her throat, she came again, screaming, tearing herself up on the rough wood of the door and I slapped her, hard, bringing blood from her mouth, her beautiful eyes fluttered and unfocused, her body going limp against me. I groaned against her throat, and tore at it, hot blood spurting into my mouth, I ripped at her hair with one hand, and pulled tight against her nipple with the other. The heat was building in me and she whimpered so softly. "Please... Don't. Please. Please don't cum inside me." Another fat tear hit my knee and I groaned, grinding my cock into her virgin pussy and I let it all go, screaming my pleasure as I came in one thick burning line after the other into her hot tight cunt. "No!" she screamed, bucking wildly, her eyes fluttering like a crazed animal "No! Don't! Stop! Oh, God, Please!" she clawed at my stomach against her binds trying to get away, and I slapped her across the breasts again, crushing her tan skin into the wood. Sweat dripped down my neck, and I growled deep into her ear, nipping at it, drawing blood as I thrust my seed deep into her womb. She hissed in pain and rubbed her face back and forth, scoring that tan skin on splinters. "No. No, no, no, no." I lapped the last drops of blood from her throat, my teeth marks a perfect circle around her pulse. I pulled my slowly lowering dick from her pussy and stood, letting her drop forward at my feet onto the dirt of the floor. 

I flipped her with both hands onto her back. What a sight she is, even this close to death. Her short dark brown curls, sweaty, stuck to her face. Her long eyelashes fluttering in butterfly kisses against her cheeks, her unfocused wide eyes staring into my face. A tiny pink kiss of a tongue slipped out to moisten those overly large lips, that perfect rose bud mouth. It's what had drawn me to Jenny, those lips. That smell, Lavender. Sweat and beadlets of blood glisten against her sun-kissed skin, waiting for me to suck them into my mouth. Her palmfuls of breasts, bruised from my hands, and those ever defiant nipples quivering into the cold air. Jenny took a deep breath, and spread her legs slowly, my spunk dribbling out of her naked pussy. I wandered two fingers through it, and she didn't move, Jenny Harper had quit fighting. Nothing left to fight for. I shoved my cum covered fingers into her little wet mouth and she let out the softest of cries. I watched that long lace of eyelash settle in little half-moons on the tan of her cheeks, as her tongue flicked over the cum, sucking it into her mouth. My cock rose to attention as the color slipped from Jenny's skin. He had come for her finally, too much blood and violence. 

I shoved my fingers harshly down her throat, and she barely had the energy to gag. "Lie to me again, Jenny. Like you did the first time." Her eyes fluttered open, she tried to push herself in the very dirt to get away from me. I slid my wet fingers down her chest. "Say it." 

"No." She turned her head away, looking at something I couldn't see.

I slapped her breasts again, leaning down to tear into the right one, tugging on the nipple with my teeth. She screamed and arched her body into the air. I hovered just above her, only my teeth and the tips of my fingers gliding over her. "Say it!" I screamed the words into that perfectly ruined mound of breast.

I slipped my fingers into her cunt, rubbing them along her clit. I pulled them out, licked the blood off of them so very, very close to her, rubbing my tongue and fingers against the nipple I was worrying. Slipped them back into her violated pussy, thrust them into her, in a weak imitation of what my cock had already done. "Say It." She moaned, and thrust against me, slowly, weakly. 

"I l-love" she shuttered, stopped, grinding her hips against my hand, moaning. The tears came again. "I love you." She wasn't looking at me. I slapped her in the mouth, pulled her to face me.

"But?" I muttered, pulling her bottom lip into my mouth and bearing down.

"I l-l-love, Uh!" I pinched her clit, flicking it. I pressed my cock against her stomach. "I love you, James. But I'm not ready." A hot stream of blood trickled from the corner of her mouth. I caught it with the tip of my tongue, lead it back to it's home and kissed her like a whore. I blew cold air into her mouth, and let power seep into her skin from mine. "Uhhh! Uh!"

"What a little liar you are Jenny. A tease they call you." I thrust my fingers deeply into her hurt puss, and watched her breath come out in pain. "You were wet, and so, so ready." I pulled my hand from her darkness, rubbed my fingers together infront of her face as the color of life poured back into her. "See this? They call this Ready!" I pulled her against me, legs over my hips, and I could smell it in the air. Want. Need. Desire. Life poured back into Jenny and a flush took her cheeks, made her chest blush, and she moaned. 

"Yes! Ughn!" She said, thrusting her hips toward my straining cock. I slapped my wet hand across her breasts, across her stomach and thighs, ringing moaning screams from her little mouth. "Yes! Uhh, God! More!" She slipped her long legs to either side of my hips, trying to lift herself against me. I grinned at her, licking my lips.

"You were a good girl Jenny." I pushed my dick down, letting the tip of my dick slip into her swollen pussy. She screamed for more and thrashed toward me. "You want it?" She moaned at me, nodding slowly, trying to push her cunt down once again on my thick quivering member. I raked my claws along the backs of her thighs, and she writhed into the dirt. "Say the first part again. Tell me the truth, and I'll keep you. I'll give you more, Jennifer."

Jenny looked up at me, poised like a wonton thing, trying to fuck herself, and not able to without use of her hands. She parted her soft lips and screamed the words. "I love it. James, I'm ready. I'm so wet..." I slipped my cock so slightly into the depths of her cunt, she sucked in air, straining her violated body for mine. "I'm ready! Please!" 

I fucked her hard. I fucked her into the dirt and made her mine. We broke the door, ripped the ropes, bloodied each other. She's addicted. Lavender and Desire.



Lavender and Jasmine



For me, coming to terms with what I am was like being born. It was something that happened when I was naked, wet and crying.

I'm not really sure what it was that got me to realizing it. A long string of dates with 'the hot guy' that always left me feeling... well, feeling something. What I'm not sure.

It was in the less than warm afterglow of yet another of those encounters that I was dragged kicking and screaming to the new spa that opened up nearby. My best friend since...hell pigtails, Julie said that my moping was bringing her down and that I was now her prisoner! My shoes leaving skid marks across the parking lot, I was dragged into the place.

Okay I'll admit before very long I was having kind of a good time. It's not often I like to feel pampered. Maybe it because they have a diaper named that?

My nails were done better than I can do them and my feet had all kinds of tools applied to every angle of them. My hair was given a conditioning that was so deep my brain got soggy. Then I was driven in a zombie like shuffle into the steam room.

Somewhere through this lengthy process, Julie acquired a temporary friend for herself. The woman's name was... oh, Sandy something another, it's unimportant. A more helium-headed person there has never been. But the way she looked!

When she stepped into the steam room and saw it was just us three, she let her robe drop, took off her towel and sat back on the warm cedar seats naked as naked can get.

Julie not wanting to be outdone did the same. I felt very reluctant to copy them. Call it a lack of self-love or the fact that I have a good mirror on my bedroom door but I suddenly felt very aware of how small chested, narrow-hipped, and hell, boney I was compared to those two.

Don't get me wrong. Julie's no cover model and Sandy...well, she might be able to get into a men's magazine if she lost a pound or two, but next to me they looked like goddess one and goddess two. I hovered on the outside of their chatter not wanting to be sucked in and lose brain cells.

After doing it twice I had to resist the urge to dip even more water onto the hot rocks... I was wanted to disappear into the fog.

Or maybe hide the two of them from my eyes.

Maybe it was Sandy with her dishwater blond hair, eyes that looked smoky even without makeup, or maybe just the way she moved, but suddenly I became aware of how beautiful they were. Now Julie could snag most man-toys with a shake of her long black hair and innocent looking face, but it wasn't really something I normally paid attention to.

My eyes seemed to acquire a mind of their own in that hot room. I would suddenly notice that they had drifted somewhere they shouldn't be. I found myself paying attention to things I shouldn't have. Like how firm Julie's breasts were when compared to the slightly sagging Sandy's. How small her dark nipples were when placed near the silver dollar-sized pink cones. How narrow-waisted, wide-hipped, smooth-skinned...it was a catalog listing. I could have filed a police report from the description I was taking in. Sexy faces, beautiful smiles. 

Shaved, versus unshaved, but so blonde she might as well have been.

I looked up when Sandy's hand covered herself. My eyes met hers and the look she was giving me wasn't nice.

"Well, I've steamed enough," said Julie, getting up. She gave me a smile. "You're looking a lot less mopsey so I hope this did you some good?"

I gave a nod I wasn't feeling.

"Yeah! Go me, me go. BFF to the rescue once again." Julie gave her hands the little pompom routine that she had learned as a cheerleader. Without the gold and green uniform that little move did incredible things to her chest. I had to yank my eyes up to her face by sheer will. "Well I'm for a nice shampoo and blow dry from Ramone and a large glass of red wine."

"Oh that sounds wonderful." Sandy hopped up and put her robe on as quickly as she could. I looked away from her, my eyes on the hot rocks. "Coming?"

Looking back up and blinking I could see in her eyes she didn't want me to. Well she was Julie's new friend not mine. For a second, I wanted nothing more than to make the rest of her day uncomfortable. But then...

"No. I want more steam," I say. I dipped the ladle and let the water slowly rain down onto the rocks, smoky ribbons of water vapor answer up with a hiss.

"Well, maybe it will straighten out those curls," Julie said, shrugging herself into her robe. I tried not to watch her breast give a little shake but I couldn't help it. I felt Sandy's eyes on me the whole time. I could sense...something from her then. I couldn't name it but there was a...

Absently I lifted my hand and slicked back my wet hair.

"Maybe."

As they left I felt the emptiness of the room the second the door closed. Just me and me... and at the moment I didn't really like me. I dumped huge amounts of water onto the stones and sent up a fog so thick I couldn't see anything. That's just what I wanted. Grabbing my robe I curl up onto the wet cedar and cover myself as the tears start to pour.

"What's wrong with me?" I thought as I shivered and held myself tight enough to bruise. My face came to rest on the wet wood and my tears soon made it even wetter. 

Memories came to assault me then, awkward dates with guys that didn't interest me. Their mindless dialog about this car, that sport. It was a sickening mixture. But at the same time the gossipy hours of chatter from Julie was just as unbearable.

There was a light in the fog then. Quickly I try to compose myself but failed.

"I saw the condensation on the window. I was wondering if my sauna was broken." The cedar bent as she sat down next to me. "You okay? I'm going to guess no."

Lifting my head, I looked up at the owner of the salon. Her dark skin was the color of coffee with one cream. Her tight braided hair had quickly gathered a spider's web of water droplets from the air. She had greeted us at the door when we came in. She got us the long white robes and our first glass of wine.

The wine... maybe that was it. The wine must have been bad. It had got me all... whiny. I shook my head at the ludicrous thought.

She took it to mean no, that I'm not alright.

How I went from lying down to in her arms being hugged I don't know, but I suddenly found myself on the receiving end.

Maybe it was her arms. Soft and strong, they reminded me of my Mom's. Maybe it was the sweet jasmine scent that hung around her, reminding me of summer. Hell, it could even have been the little wooden beads in her hair, reminding me of the old rattle curtain at my grandmother's house. Whatever it is I simply hold onto her and bawled my eyes out.

Even though she didn't know what I was crying about she understood. Her arms gave comfort, her voice a whisper of not even half-heard words that gave even more. Her hands caressed the back of my head, holding me to her chest. Her chin resting on my head, she gently rocked me as I cried.

How many minutes I just let myself cry I don't know. It felt like forever but I finally stopped. It was at about the same time that I found myself becoming very aware of just how soft and nice my pillow was.

"Feeling better?" she asked softly.

"I think so," I said with a sniffle.

As I sat back I saw her give me a smile. Her lips under a covering of rose colored lip gloss looked so very kissable.

What the hell am I thinking!

Her hand appeared in my view when I looked down and she took hold of my chin. I let her lift it till I was looking into her eyes. I think her startlingly blue eyes might have been contacts, but I wasn't sure. I had never seen blue eyes on a person of her race but she could have been the exception.

"Want to tell me about it?" she asked with a soft tilt of her head. "I'm a stranger. What would telling me hurt? I won't judge you no matter what."

I could hear the sincerity. But dare I...?

"I think I might be a lesbian," I said softly, almost not believing I was saying it.

She slowly smiled.

"Why do you think that?"

"I was checking out the lady that was in here." I tried to look away from her but she moved her head to the side

"Lots of women do that, hon. It's kind of a game of 'I've got better than you've got.' " She smiled. "You don't just play that with shoes."

I sat quietly unable to find the words I wanted to say.

She again helped.

"Do you like guys?"

The question should have been a given but it hit me harder than I expected. I thought back through them, face by face, all the way back to Timmy Benson who talked me into do it... just a little. None of them were more than a flash memory of a face and a few dinners out. Then the memories of the sex came through and I felt...used. That was as close to it as I could think.

Slowly my head went from side to side.

She smiled and patted my arm.

"It's okay. Coming to grips with that is the hardest part. That and the first time you tell someone. Hell,Girl,you've already gone over the hump! Now you sit right there and I'll be back."

She got up and went out in a hurry and I found my eyes following her curves. She was a stunningly beautiful woman.

She was gone but moments.

The sudden inrush of cooler air and the parting of the fog were my warning that she was back. A metal bucket hit the bench next to me and she sat down on the other side of it.

"Girl, we going to have a party up in here," she told me with a grin.

I took the tall glass from her with a surreal feeling coming around me. She poured bubbling champagne into my glass, then her own. 

"A toast to...what is your name?"

"Lavender Layton. My friends call me Elly... why are you laughing?" I asked a little hurt.

She waved her hand, dismissing my anger. "Your parents and mine must have had the same type of joke book. I'm Jasmine Jones. JJ."

I chuckled with her.

"Well, I'm not going to call you Elly. It doesn't make a lot of sense. Did your grandmother call you Flower?"

I looked up startled. How had she known that?

"My Granny did the same, I thought yours might have," she said with a grin. She leaned in and let her glass touch mine with a light ring. "Know what else we have in common? Well, let's just say you're not the only woman who checks out women in the steam room."

I glanced down suddenly aware that I had my robe more than half off me and a towel sitting in my lap. The embarrassment however passes much quicker than if she had been a 'He'. I looked up at her and blushing, I slowly chuckled.

"Lavender and Jasmine?" I asked with a smile.

"Hon, I guarantee the two of us would liven up any room."

Smiling, I sipped the champagne with her, letting my thoughts drift. I felt not quite sure of what I should do next. I decided to ask, after all she had been a help so far.

"So what do I do?"

Jasmine shrugged.

"Well, you have a lot of choices, Flower. You can go clubbing. I know a few around here that you might like. They're a bit easy on the new and unsure there. You could try the personals. There are hundreds of sites online but a lot of them are crap. You also got a big decision to make. You don't have to make it now or anytime soon, but you will have to make it. Do you tell everyone? Do you tell a few select people? Do you tell no one... well, other than me?" she said with a flirty grin.

Smiling I nodded then started to think about it. Would I lose friends? How about family? There were a few that would scream 'unclean' from the pulpits when they heard. I could already hear their sermons.

I let my eyes drift as I think. I found myself focused on the golden locket around her neck. The fact it was hanging in that dark valley of cleavage might have had something to do with my eyes going there.

"That's beautiful."

She looked down and ran a finger across the metal. I saw a half-smile, half-sad look cross her face.

"Yea," she whispered softly.

"What's the matter Jazz?" I asked.

She looked up at me and grinned at the nickname. 

"Jazz, huh? Okay I've gone by that more than once." She lifted the locket. "This is all that I have left of the first love of my life. Her name was Merisa. It has a small piece of her hair and a pinch of her ashes in it. I glued it shut and she's always been there for me."

"What happened to her? Oh, I'm sorry, don't answer that. I'm being nosy."

Jazz shook her head, the beads rattling.

"It's okay. It was awhile back... hell, ten years." She looked down and took a deep breath. When she looked back up, I could see her eyes were shining. She smiled a bit seeing my concern. "I'm good. No, she was as buck wild a person as I've ever met. She loved life with a fiery passion! Everything that she could do to live it to the fullest she did. Fast cars! My god, that woman could drive. She loved anything with a bit of a thrill and some danger. She used to joke that was why she was with me."

I watched a single tear slip and drift it's way down her dark skin to vanish off her face and into the blouse. 

"She was on her motorcycle...." Jazz swallowed like saying it was a bitter pill. "...and she of course had it going as fast as it could go. She hit a scrap piece of truck tire and left the road at well over a hundred and twenty. She struck a tree. The doctors said they doubt she even felt it."

She absently reached up to wipe away a tear.

"I'm sorry, Jazz," I said reaching over and taking that hand. The sharp contrast in her skin tone and mine made our hands look like a yin yang. I could feel the damp side of her finger against my skin.

She gave my hand a gentle squeeze but didn't turn me loose. 

"Thank you, Flower. They say that time heals but it still feels like yesterday to me. I loved her so much. I miss her every day. I wonder what she would say if she saw me now running this place. She would have loved to come here for maybe a few hours but she would have quickly been bored to tears I think." She chuckled and filled my flute again. "To Merisa?"

"Merisa." I said softly and then as our glasses touched, I offer her hand a bit more pressure.

The bubbly wine was more like breathing bubbles than drinking but its sweet flavor was not lost at all.

Jazz drained her's and sat spinning the flute in between her fingers for a second then looked up at me. Her smiles reappeared.

"So! What are you going to do now?" she asked me then. "Are you coming out tits blazing? Going to scream from the rooftop I want to kiss girls and fuck you if you don't like it?" 

Laughing, I shook my head. "I don't think I'm ready to do that yet."

She nodded."Okay. Well, I can get you in touch with some of the local ladies that are like us. We're kind of a lesbian support group. I keep telling them we need to call ourselves B.R.A. Bush Rakers Anonymous. They keep shooting the idea down though."

Chuckling, I nodded. "I can't see why, it sounds perfect to me."

She nodded and lifted the bottle. I watched her pour the last drop out the bottle into my glass.

"All gone," she said sadly. "If I didn't have a business to run I would say to hell with it and open up another. Sitting here getting steam-soaked and plastered with you till we pass out. But alas all parties have to finally turn off the music and close the door. I've got to go back to minding my store...before Ramone sets some poor lady's hair on fire."

She got up and pulled me to my feet in front of her with a tug. The strength of her grip was surprising.

"You never answered my question by the way. What are you going to do now?"

I stood there for a half second then shrugged with a sigh. "Damned if I know. Go find a girl to try kissing..."

Her mouth was on mine in less than a heart-beat. Those lips that were so plump and luscious were also demanding. I very quickly found that all the so-called experience I'd had wasn't worth a flip. Her mouth and then ever so slowly her tongue start me back at Kissing 101.

As the seconds passed and her hands drifted to my shoulders, her fingers caressed the skin down my bare arms, across my bare back. Her hands finally came to rest in the small of my back and in the short hairs at the back of my neck.

Kissing 101 and I wanted to be the teachers pet after the first moment.

"Elly did you fall asleep in here?"

My eyes went to the open doorway to Julie standing there with her wine glass slowly slipping from her fingers.

It hit the floor to shatter, the drops of sanguine heaven splattering outward. Some of them landed on the white robe that lay by my feet next to my towel.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

I sprinted across the living room but got the phone just as it stopped ringing.

"Damn."

Setting it back on it's base, I saw the red light come on after a second. Picking it back up, I hit the message button.

"You have one new message, recorded today at 6:25.... 'Hey Flower, this is Jazz. Look I know that our... last encounter was a bit of a shock to your system but if you would I would love to hear from you. I have an idea you might like. Kind of my surprise and a bit of an apology for what happened with your friend. Well, call me if you will."

I listened to the number, my mind filing it away.

Do I call or not? Setting my purse down I sunk into my favorite end of the couch and pondered that question.

I wanted to. I wanted to so badly but things were only now starting to get back to normal for me with Julie. She was surprisingly not at all understanding about what happened. She said it was everything from depression to break up blues to too much steam. The absolute denial that she went into when I told her that I was a lesbian was still even more shocking.

We hadn't talked for a week. Then she gave me a call with the name of a guy that she had already promised a date with me. She said he was so nice that one date with him and such silly thoughts would vanish.

I told her I would.

I grabbed up the phone and hit the call back button. I listened to the tones as they played her number for me. I tried to make my breathing quieter. I might make her think I was a phone sex perv

"JJ"s Salon."

"Hey Jazz."

"Hey there Flower." I could hear the smile through the phone. "I had hoped you would call me back. Um look, I have something I promised I would do this weekend. It's a B.R.A. thing. I was wondering if you would like to come and join us. There will be a lot of us getting together Saturday for the Holiday."

Looking over at my cute puppies' calendar, I didn't see any holiday mentioned.

"What holiday is this Saturday? My calendar doesn't show it." I got up and went to it. I glanced at the ridiculous Shar-Pei puppy with his thousand wrinkles. "I've double checked and still don't see one."

"It's National Nude Day."

I just held the phone as what she said bounced around in my head for several seconds.

"I'm not sure I heard you right?" I finally had to ask.

She chuckled. "Yes you did. I said National Nude Day."

"There's a holiday to get naked on?"

"Nude," she said quickly.

"What's the difference?" I asked, confused.

"Nude is what you can be in front of strangers, naked is what you are with your lover."

I thought about that for a second and both still seemed embarrassing to me.

"Okay, so what are you going to do Saturday?" I asked not sure I want the answer. "Are you going to a nudist colony or something?"

I heard the deep throaty chuckle.

"No, my dear Flower. We are going to march in a parade."

The image of dozens of naked... sorry, nude people walking down the street in a parade came to mind then. I was also suddenly hit with the idea of a giant Macy day style float of a... never mind.

"I don't know, Jazz. That sounds like a bit too..."

"You don't have to get nude. Just come down. Meet a few of the other ladies. Talk with them for a bit. I think you'll have fun. I would advise maybe not standing to close to us once we start the parade though."




Lavender and Jasmine



"Why?" I asked after a second.

"Well, we may all end up getting arrested." I heard a light playfulness to her answer that at the same time let me know she was serious.

"So you're going to go do this knowing you may be arrested?" I made myself not add 'are you crazy?'

"If you don't have clothes on and there's not some chance of going to jail, where would the fun be?"

I chuckled hearing her say it like she got nothing between her ears.

Then she got serous. "Yea, we just might. There is something very wrong with this country when a person without clothes on is arrested. Things need to be changed. You can see someone killed on TV every night but you have to go to a late night cable channel just to see someone without clothes. You can watch a cop show where they tell you about someone being raped nine ways to Sunday but you can't see someone having consensual sex? If I have to go to jail for a bit, maybe pay a fine to help try and change that... well, so be it."

I paused. I felt an urge to go and be a part of something then. I didn't like the idea of jail... I mean, I've never even had a speeding ticket.

"Jazz, I'll..."

"Come on, Flower, what are you worried about? That they might arrest you and put you in jail where there are a bunch of dykes?"

I had to laugh at her tone. 

"Just come down. If nothing else you might like the paint jobs."

"What?" I asked, even more confused.

"Oh hell, I forgot to tell you. We will be wearing body paint. We have this guy who does airbrush. He can do all kind of things that are cool as hell. I'm thinking about having him do me in blue, red and green... maybe getting some peacock feathers and gluing them between my butt cheeks."

I had to move the phone away from my ear at that. The image of that sexy lady her hair rattling with every step, strutting feathers down the street...

"Jazz, I'll be there, if only to see that."

"I said I was thinking. He has so much talent I might just let him have his way with me. Be about the only time I would ever tell a guy that," she said with a chuckle. "So you'll be there?"

"Yea. I'll be there."

"Oh I love you, my little Flower. I'll see you Saturday. Come to the shop." I heard her smack a kiss through the phone.

I suddenly wished I could feel it.

"I'll be there."

"Bye,bye."

I held the phone till the tones started to beep. Setting it down I started to get up and go to maybe fix me a damn strong drink when the phone started to ring again. Smiling I grabbed it up.

"What did you forget?" I asked chuckling.

"I forgot to tell you what restaurant,Craig,will be taking you to Saturday," said Julie, laughing.

Hearing the joy in her voice I felt what I did settle around me. I swallowed against the taste of it. It was bitter as bile.

But the idea of another worthless night out with a man I had no interest in was a far bitterer pill. "Julie, I don't think..."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** 

The next two days were a blur of my life falling to pieces.

Julie called my mom and then all hell hit the fan! I've was told I was going to be sent to a shrink, that I need to see a doctor, that clearly my hormones were out of balance. If was asked once whether it was my time of the month I was asked a dozen times. I finally told my mother that I would talk to her later.

Then about twenty minute later, my sisters began to ring the phone off the hook.

When my brother Travis was on the other side of my door I exploded!

Yanking open the apartment door, I looked him in the eye and with the full force of my now far out of control rage let him have it.

"I'm a lesbian! Do you hear me? I've talked to you all till I'm sick! It's not a single one of yours' business who, what, where, or how many times and with what fucking gender I have sex!"

Travis looked at me for a half a second, and then with a smile trying to peek past his mustache, he slowly let his head tilt.

"What?" I demanded.

"When I hear from Mom, Julie, Michele, and Wendy all in the same day all about the same thing... I just thought I would drop by and offer you some advice on eating pussy. I have to say my technique has gotten me more than a few compliments."

I looked at my brother and a slow blush lit up my face.

"Can I come in? Or do you want to scream something else at me?"

I finally felt a smile tugging at my lips."I'm thinking about it."

"Well, think inside damn it! It's hot as hell out here."

Moving out the way, I let my bother come inside and I stopped trying to air-condition the neighborhood.

He went into the kitchen and opened my refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of water. When I looked at him he held it up.

"I'm stealing a bottle of water from you. Thought I would let you know." He grabbed a chair and slid it under him. "So want to discuss your earth shattering news or shall I go into details about what a woman enjoys when I go down on her? Seriously, I've been told I'm damn good at it, I can give you some pointers."

Shaking my head. I walked over to the fridge and looking inside, realized he got the last bottle of water. I grabbed a soda and with a shake of my head, grabbed the other chair.

"I'm not sure I want to discuss either topic."

He shrugged. "Well, I have to say that whether you want to talk about it or not... it is the talk of the family at the moment. I wouldn't be surprised if our aunties don't start calling soon."

I sighed and nodded at the truth of that. The character of the Church Lady from Saturday Night Live was modeled after those two. I swear it was.

"So what should I do?" I asked him. Younger than me by two years, I often found myself non-the-less going to him for advice.

Swishing a sip of water around, he took a slow deep breath.

"Well, what you do is when they call... or Mom or our sisters for that matter, you just tell them... in a slightly calmer tone... what you told me at the door. It's not their business. If they don't like it, that's fine, but they can either keep their teeth together about it or... hell if you like shock the crap out of them and start to ask them questions about picking up women."

I chuckled and then full out laughed as I pictured my aunties' faces if I did that. I would have them splashing me with holy water going "the power of Christ compels you!"

"Sis, I just want you to know... I'm here for you. No matter what. I could care the hell less who you want to sleep with. My only problem with your wanting to date women is that you might just get one I would have liked a shot at."

I smiled. "I don't think that the types I'm going to be going after would like you." I said chuckling softly.

"Hey, you never know. I have a good job, a nice car and a...silver tongue." He stuck the tip of his tongue between his teeth and grinned.

I just shook my head. "You ain't right." I said softly.

"Well I ain't left either." He sipped the last of the water, and in a show of pure machismo crushed the super-thin plastic bottle. "Elly..."

"Call me Flower."

Why I said that I don't know. He looked at me and slowly nodded.

"Flower? I remember Grana calling you that. Okay, Flower, I've got to go. I'm supposed to be throwing a big cookout down at the lake and haven't got the meat bought yet. If I don't hurry there might be nothing but Spam."

Chuckling, I stood up. I was suddenly in my brother's arms. He gave me a tight hug.

"There for you... no matter what. You got it?" he said softly by my ear.

Nodding, I pulled him tight. I found that his support when all others are turning away was worth more than I could ever repay. I walked him to the door.

He snaps his finger as he opened it and spun around. "Oh yea the secret to eating pussy well..."

"Travis!"

His eyes went to mine and held like a snake's gaze. "You just do everything in your power to make her make different sounds. See how many places you can find that will make her change tone. It's kind of like learning how to play a musical instrument. Just keep practicing till the odd noises become a symphony. A woman brought to orgasm with your mouth is the most beautiful music in the world."

I just stood there looking at him. Then gave a slow nod.

Smiling, he tipped a hat he was not wearing and walked down the stairs out to his car. I swear the thing oozes sexy when he cranks it. I watched him drive away and for a moment wished...

"Oh, hell no! I'm getting enough phone calls already!"

Shaking my head, I went back inside to go make that strong drink.

The phone was ringing before I was half way through it.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** 

The spa had a 'Closed for four hours...unless I'm arrested' sign on the door when I pulled up outside.

I saw Jasmine sitting in her car. She opened the door, when I pull in, smiling. I saw her long dark legs disappear as she stood up and the robe dropped back into place.

Getting out I found myself being hugged to my surprise. There must have been a sale on me that week.

"I'm so glad you came," she said then with a grin, winking at me. "Want to see the pre-game warm up?"

I didn't know what she meant till her hands went to her robe and she opened it.

Oh... my... lord... the... body... on... this... woman!

Skin like a mixture of chocolate and silk. I let my eyes go from her feet with the toenails delicately painted to match her eye-shadow, up past her calves, to those super-smooth thighs, to what had to be a barely legal bikini bottom that I knew was a bit of floss thong in the back. Her belly had a slight pouch around her navel, then there was the curve of her waist up to her breasts that were barely hidden behind the top that was little more than postage stamps and floss. By the time my eyes reached hers I'm more turned on than any guy had ever made me.

She gave me a slow sexy smile, and looking down, let her lashes flutter at me. "You've got me blushing. Can't you tell?"

Laughing, I looked at her and grinned.

"You look beautiful, Jazz." I told her after I took a deep breath to settle the pounding I felt in my chest. Suddenly I felt a deep concern for her. I didn't at all like the idea of her being arrested. Detained. Jailed. "You sure you want to do this?"

She looked at me for a second then down at the bikini top and lifted a finger to one of the strings.

"I want you to tell me if this makes any sense to you. Right now I'm legally allowed to walk the beach, maybe even go into any store I like...at least around this time of the year. I might get asked to put my wrap around my hips but maybe not." She moves the white fabric just a bit and part of her dark as night nipple came into view. "Now I'm being arrested and considered a lewd person. If I was to do this within a hundred feet of a school I'm probably going to be put on the child sex registry. Does that make any sense to you, Flower?"

My eyes seemed to be glued to that bit of dark skin. I never for some reason thought about the fact that a black woman's nipple would be that dark. Distracted for a second, I looked up and saw her face was so very serious.

What she asked me suddenly made no sense at all.

"No, Jazz. It seems kind of silly when you put it that way."

She nodded. "How about the fact that if I was a guy I could walk around in just this?" 

Her finger ran along the waistband of her bottoms. When she lifted the edge by the knot, my breath ran away from me.

"Why should gender make a difference about what can be worn? If it was anything else there would be an outcry that would startle pigeons in Washington but because this nation is ashamed of their own skin you won't hear a word."

I listened and nodded understanding. Part of me wished that she wouldn't go through with it none-the-less. Part of me wished I had her courage.

"Want to take my car?" She asked grinning. "That way if I get arrested you can drive it back here."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** 

As we pulled into the parking lot of the little warehouse, a converted art studio, I felt my nerves start to give me fits. For some reason I was almost afraid to see this many people without their clothes on.

As we walked in, that fear was... not confirmed. Jasmine's bikini was not the most clothing in the room. Well, except for a few people, they mostly were dressed... although in a strange collection of clothes.

I watched a bare-chested guy with an airbrush working furiously on a tall lady with waist length black hair. She must have been at least 6'1" and he was painting her into a Zena costume! Looking around I felt my jaw drop as I realized that most of the clothes I was seeing weren't cloth.

Jasmine dropped her robe by the door and walked over to where several ladies in various stages of paint-dress or undress were standing talking. She looked back and seeing me standing by the door, gestured for me to come join her.

"Flower, let me introduce you to the Village People." 

The ladies laughed but when I saw the various hats they had and some of what their 'clothes' looked like I realized that's what they were going to be when finished.

"This is Tonya, Samantha, Jennifer, and our little Indian princess is Rosette. Ladies, this is Lavender, but just call her Flower."

There seriously must have been a two-for-one blue light special on hugging me going this week. That several of the women were bare breasted come to me in the seconds after they turned me loose. Blinking I looked at Jazz's face and saw her smiling.

"Flower here has just come out. In fact she's never done more than kiss a girl."

Suddenly I was being applauded. After the reaction of my family it was almost too much.

Jazz saw this and reached back to take my hand. "Come on, nude people! Lets get this show on the road!" she called out to the others in the warehouse.

One of the artists came over to her and I just caught part of what Jazz told him. I took a seat and watched him begin to turn her into the sexiest black swan I had ever seen. He had done feathers with paint that I could have sworn would have let her fly. Then her top's strings were undone, and I saw both of those silky black nipples; my breath started to quicken. 

"So what do you want to be?" asked a voice to my side. 

Turning, I saw one of the artist had his cart next to me.

"I could make you a white swan." He looked over at Jasmine. "That way you two would match."

My pulse raced. Looking over at Jazz, I saw her eyes on me. Her fingers went to her hips and with slow deliberation she slipped the two knots. I saw her standing not nude but... naked in front of me. My lips parted and I licked my lips when my eyes saw a perfectly trimmed triangle of wiry curls.

"Well?"

Looking back at the artist, I found myself nodding. My hands went to the bottom of my T-shirt without thought.

As he went to work on my skin, the cool feeling of the paint like powder hitting me I found myself watching the lovely black swan that was taking shape in front of me. Our eyes met and I saw her give me a long slow look up and down.

I blushed. The artist liked it and painted the pink in. I could have told him it was a waste of time. I didn't think that blush was going to leave my face for years.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** * 

The leather seats of her car were a slight irritation to my lower lips when I moved. I was dreadfully uncomfortable in just my shirt.

I looked around at the cars surrounding us in the large parking lot by the park. There had never been a stranger 'dressed' collection of naked people.

NUDE!

I tried to drive the thought into my head. We were nude... not naked. Naked was what you were in the presence of your lover.

I glanced over at Jazz. My eyes went down the feathery arms to the dark skin of her thighs. I could only just make out the curls under the artwork.

"They're peanut butter," she said to me then.

Blinking, I looked up at her to find her smiling at me.

"Wha...what?" I stumbled over my words.

"My thighs. They're peanut butter."

I sat for a half-second and let that sink in but, it still made no sense. When I looked up, she grinned and leaned in till she was right by the side of my face.

"Smooth, brown, easy to spread," she whispered. When I laughed, she smiled and winked at me. "Relax, my beautiful swan. We will be fine. I talked to one of the organizers earlier. There are a lot more of us showing up than I first heard."

"Okay, and that's a good thing how?" I asked after a second or so.

Jazz tilted her head. "The more of us there are the harder they will find it to arrest us. I mean, can you imagine the chaos of trying to arrest several hundred nude people?'

Images came to me then of me being booked down-town without a stitch to my name.

Oh lord, what was I doing?

Then her hand was in mine.

"It will be okay, Flower. I'll be here for you no matter what."

Hearing her echo my bother I found myself caressing her fingers more than holding them. Taking a deep breath, I nodded and accepted that come what may, I was at least...

"There they are."

Looking up from our joined hands I felt my jaw drop. There were a swarm of car door opening all around us.

"Oh my god." I exclaimed in a whisper as I got out of the car.

Walking down the street with signs and banner held high and proud, they must numbered in the hundreds. No, maybe in the thousands I guessed as I saw the lines swelling as more groups like our own came swarming in at the designated time.

Now, some of them were like us and wearing body paint. But others? Well they had left nothing to the imagination. Truly nudes on parade.

Part of me wished I had stayed home. But it was a so very small part of me that all the rest chased it away, hopefully never to return.

I tossed my shirt into the car and followed Jazz into the marching croud.

Walking next to my black swan, I looked behind us to find the rock band Kiss following us. My eyes went down out of pure curiosity. The black, silver and white mixture of paint hid a lot less on a guy than it did on us. Gene gave me a wink when I look back up.

Turning around, I suddenly found myself in possession of a sign that said 'Nude, Not Naked.'

I felt a bit wrong of me to be carrying it.

By the time we crossed out into the wider street, people in vans suddenly appeared and hopped out with traffic cones, blocking roads. I laughed when I noticed that their orange vests and blue jeans weren't real.

"How far are we marching too?" I asked nervously when I saw the first patrol car pull up to the side of the road.

"Fountain Park," she said. Her hand found mine and I felt it tremble. That she was maybe not as sure of herself as she came across hit me then.

All of a sudden my tower of confidence and strength displayed a shaky foundation. I felt an upwelling of fear threaten to take me.

Then it faded. I tightened my fingers in her's and lifted my sign a little higher.

She looked over at me. I saw a twinkle come to her eyes and when she turned back forward there was a bit more strut to her walk, The swing of her hips must have been giving the guys behind us one hell of a show.

Up ahead I saw the tall spire topped with the golden statue of a naked woman. Next to the large bronze woman were naked cherubic imps. I remembered my only trip here and the way my brother, sisters and I had splashed in the cool water of the fountains. 

"Good choice." I said, looking up at the gleaming lady, her breasts large and well displayed, bare to the world and every eye. 

Jazz nodded.

As we passed the big gate with the arched sign overhead I looked behind me and saw that our line had grown more and more with every step. I saw TV news crews pulling up and getting their cameras out. I watched the growing number of policemen that were converging on the park almost as fast as we were.




Lavender and Jasmine



I saw Jazz looking at them as well.

"We're going to jail, aren't we?" I asked as we fanned out to surround the large fountain. The spray from the jets hit my skin then and the cool mist was a welcome feeling.

"Possibly, but I think we got the message out."

I looked where she's looking and saw a TV crew.

Their camera was right on me.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Travis wouldn't stop laughing as we walked out the station. The asshole hadn't stopped since he saw me sitting there in a set of county lock up orange. My white feathery paint made me look like some kind of a very strange bird.

Tugging at the shirt I'm wearing, I tried to make my nipples not show through the thin fabric. The ridiculousness of that after what I had just done came to me but I couldn't make myself stop doing it.

I looked down at the logo blazed across my breast.

'Save a tree. Eat a beaver.'

"I am so going to get you back for this you know," I told him, giving his arm a punch.

"Ow. What? I did just what you asked. I came down and bailed you out. I brought you some clothes." His smile was threatening to quiver his mustache off his lip.

I reached down and adjusted the bright orange Hooter girl shorts he had grabbed from his girlfriends closet. She must be about a half size smaller than I was and without underwear they were seriously causing problems... down in the valley, shall we say.

"Just drive me to my car!"

He went back to laughing and I got back to figuring where I was going to hide the body. When he cranked his blue mustang I swore even the car sounded like it was laughing.

We were halfway there when he looked over at me. "You made the news. I do hope you manage to get the gray blur off your breast some day soon."

"Oh, Christ."

"Well, if it's any consolation, you have been officially disowned by a large part of the family. They think you have gone insane. I do hope they don't try to get you committed before you get to put my advice to some good use."

"Travis, your mind is in the gutter." I told him after a mile more when I figured out what advice he was talking about.

"Oh hell, no! A sex rain washed my mind into the sewer years ago. If you could see some of the memories that I have behind my eyes you would know that even now you're still a bit tame and subdued next to me. Although walking buck-naked down the street in the middle of the day.... well, you're a contender for second maybe."

"I was nude," I said with a huff. "Naked is what you are with your lover."

"I saw the girl you were holding hands with, Sis." He glances over at me. "Y'all was naked!"

I leaned back in the leather seats and washed my face with my hands, wishing this day would come to an end.

With its purring rumble the cobalt blue car pulled up in front of the salon. I saw Jasmine's car was still there.

"I'll see you Travis," I said absently as I opened the door.

"I put my ass I hock to get you bailed out and that all the thanks I get?" He grinned at me then looked to the window were Jazz had appeared. Her hand was on the 'Closed' sign. 

"Have a good time. She's beautiful."

I looked at her. "Yea she is."

I started to close the door but he yelled at me to wait. I looked at him.

"If the two of you need anyone to hold a camera, you got my number, right?"

I slammed the door on my perverted brother and shaking my head, walked to the salon door. It opened before me.

Jazz's chuckle was silly but nice.

"What in the world are you wearing?" she asked after a moment.

"My brother's idea of a joke." I said, giving her a once over. "How did it go? I never saw you after the cuffs were put on. We got sent to different precincts I think?"

"Yea, they hauled me all the way over to Lakeshore." She gave a shrug. "I've got to go see a judge and pay a fine. How about you?"

"Same."

"See, getting arrested wasn't so bad. I'll pay your fine. It's my fault you were there; it's the least I can do."

"You don't have to do that. I got naked on my own. I knew what I was doing."

"Nude," she said in a whisper.

"No." I looked her in the eyes. Those blue eyes that almost matched my brother's car. "I hope I was naked."

She looked at me and I could see a bit of hesitation. "Flower we just met. I don't want to..."

"Make love to me?" I asked my heart crashing.

"No, that I want to do. I was your first kiss from a woman. I just don't want you to feel like you need to... rush. You might find someone else that you like more than me?"

I have never been known for my courage. I have always found its lack in myself such a terrible thing at times. When thunder scared me. When spiders scared me. When... guys scared me.

Stepping forward, tilting my lips to meet hers took all the courage I had... but I was not scared.

She was just a bit taller than me, was the first thought that came to me as our lips touched. Then, how warm and soft she was. Her arms were strong as they settled around me, pulling me tighter. 

I tasted peppermint, realized it was from a breath mint. Then vanilla, from her lip gloss. The smell of her perfume, that hint of sugared jasmine came to me when our lips slowly parted. I leaned my head into the side of her neck.

I could feel her cool metal locket press against my skin. For a second it felts icy then it warmed suddenly. I leaned my head against Jazz's cheek and silently thanked Merisa for her blessing.

"I don't know what to do. With a woman I mean," I said after just holding her for a second.

She chuckled.

"Well, to begin with you take it a bit slower. There's no testosterone driven need making us want to get this over and done with. Just..." her lips brushed my neck "...just, need. Fueled with a woman's passion. I also don't recommend that we do much more than kiss and cuddle here in front of the big windows."

I looked back over my shoulder at the empty parking lot and the street in front of it. The lights had it lit to just a pale imitation of the light of the sun.

"Yea, probably not a good idea. Being arrested twice in one day would suck." I let my fingers drift down her arm till they met hers. I held her, suddenly more nervous than I had ever been in my life.

I could tell she sensed that. She smiled and holding my hand, pulled me towards the back of her shop. Past the rows of little seats with the built in foot baths. Past the door to the sauna. Into the back where the massage tables were.

"Jazz...?"

"Ssh...my little Flower. Just relax. Let me do this part. I do know what to do." 

I loved the look in her eyes even though it was sending shivers up the backs of my legs.

I was giving little nervous twitches when she turned and with a grin lifted the bottom of the stupid T-shirt. I had to fight the urge to cover myself when the shirt came off. Given that she had seen me without clothes several times now made the feeling even more stupid. I couldn't stop the shivers as she undid the snap on the little Hooter's shorts.

Her long nails raked my hips as she slid them down my thighs.

"You're still covered in feathers," she said with a smile.

"I...I used a wet towel to get most of it off but I didn't want to be rubbing around under... well under there."

I had to smile when she giggled.

I stepped out of the shorts, standing naked in front of this woman for the third time in just a few meetings.

"I want you to lie down on the table, Flower. Just stretch out... face down," she corrected me when I went to just lie back.

Turning over the cool leather was a shock to my nipples. When I leaned forward my breast pressed flat into the soft padding. I looked over when I heard her doing something, noticing a little plugged in pot almost like a crock-pot, I thought with a puzzled frown. 

"Close your eyes. Relax."

I placed my face in the little hole in the table and did as she said or tried to. I kept feeling my body give those little spasms as my nerves got the better of me.

Warmth! Oh my god!

Her hands brushed my back, spilling a palm full of hot oil onto my spine and lower back. Then her other hand is there with a second hand full.

I moaned as she began to spread the warm, slick fluid up and around my back.

It was official, I was made of butter. I must have been as I just melted under the heat of her oily hands as she went to work on my back. Her strong fingers worked hard and soft at the same time. She ran her hands down across my ass to my thighs, then on down to the backs of my legs and to my feet. All I could do was moan as she worked oil into my feet for what felt like forever.

I arched up a bit when she let her nails scrape trails back through the oil up my legs.

Then her hands were on my back, grinding the tension out of the muscles along my spine. Then at my neck.

Then back at my ass.

I gave a small gasp when her oily fingers passed down the crack.

I heard a light chuckle.

"Feel good?" she asked, doing it again. Her hands kneaded my ass cheeks like she was making bread.

"Um hum," I moaned.

She laughed and ran her fingers through again. I tightened myself when I felt her fingers actually touch me back there.

Then those long nails brush my lower lips and I swear my eyes doubled in size.

I think, you know what she's going to do. Of course she's going to have to touch you there.

Then thinking was beyond me. Melting puddles of human have not the capacity for thought.

Jazz was tireless in her goal of getting me to relax and stimulated at the same time. But she also had the patience of a saint. She teased, taunted, touched, and then moved away... up onto my back or down my thighs. Then a finger ran between the lips as she came back through. I just moaned when it crossed between my ass cheeks.

I opened my thighs a little to give her better access. I was not thinking, just moving to feel more of her hands.

First the one finger returned and then a second ran across me.

Turning my head on the table, I let the leather sides of the face hole touch my lips. I gave it a little nibble when she dips a finger into me.

Then there was more oil! It was more than warm, almost painfully hot. She poured a handful of it down the crack of my ass, her fingers chasing it down between and in!

"Oh my god, Jazz."

"Feel good, my little Flower?" she asked, knowing the answer.

I panted and just moaned an affirmative as she let her fingers rest in me. 

Trying to not squirm like a cat in heat, I found myself moving on the oily leather as she began to turn her fingers inside me. A thumb brushed my clit and I gave up on the cat in heat thing. Grinding my thighs into the oily leather, I moaned and begged as this woman... my lover... my...

"Oh, Jazz!"

"Yes, my Flower?"

"That feels wonderful," I said the, words mostly breath.

She hummed in agreement then chuckled.

"You know what I like about this oil?" 

I gave a start when I felt her kiss the cheek of my ass.

"It's not only edible but delicious."

My legs opened wider as she placed kiss after kiss across the oil slick skin. Then her lips were burrowing their way to where her fingers were.

That was her tongue! The thought flashed through me as I felt a skilled touch just outside the lips that were so lewdly stretched around her fingers.

Her hand under me directed me without words.

I lift my ass higher till my thighs left the table and I let my knees slide across the slick leather. I crouched there my ass in the air as this woman devoured me with a skill no man has ever shown. Every little place that gave the lightest pleasure, she knew.

My eyes popped open, then closed tightly as I let the first little near scream leave me. I felt her tongue licking between my two openings. I moaned as it crosses the little swirl of wrinkles. Then she was back at my lips, lapping at the oils, letting her lounge lick around her fingers as she twisted them in me.

I didn't quite connect her finger's shifting in me to what was about to happen so when her finger, slick with both oil and my juices ran effortlessly into my ass I gasped.

I clutch the table as she let that finger turn with the other two... no, three! Inside me.

Her unencumbered hand was then under me across my belly rubbing the little pillow above my lips. Her hand moved and the holes are wide open to more than fingers.

My nails with their expertly applied polish gripped the leather table as she drove her tongue into me.

"Oh, Jazz... yes. Oh yes, that feels wonderful," I moaned. More words followed but they were nothing more than a mindless babble of begging her not to stop and praises of her wonderful tenderness and skill.

Oh my god, her tongue was in my ass!

I at first didn't believe it. I've had a few guys give the outside a lick, more by accident I thought than design. Sure, she had bushed it with her tongue earlier, but right then? Leaning my head into the leather I just wept at how wonderful what she's doing felt.

Her tongue circled, her lips kissed, her teeth gave little bites.

I was going to go mad, I thought as she left that hole and plunged deep into my other. Then her tongue went to my clit for the first time.

It felt like she just touched me with liquid fire.

"Oh fuck."

I felt myself shake, and then a sound built it's way up from deep in my body. Like the cat I must resemble, I arch my back and let my voice give play to a sound that I had never made with a lover before. Not for real anyway.

I expected her to stop, to pull away and rest her mouth, to let me just cum and relax. That's what the guys had always done when I got tired of their mouths and given my little fake sound.

Jazz? No. What she did was double her effort. Her tongue left my now super-sensitive clit and I felt my lips get sucked into her mouth. That skilled tongue, that wonderful tongue, it licked and played with the little folds of skin, batting them around like a cat with a toy.

Then her tongue was back at my ass.

"Oh god yes." I moaned as I felt a second quiver run out from within me. When did she do it? Before it had felt good but now.... now that I had orgasmed? It was heaven. Like life had given birth to fire and lightning, flashes of pleasure shivered and raced through me.

Then she was back at my lips and she started all over again. 

How long she had me arched like I was I couldn't know, but finally my knees slid on the slick leather and I just collapsed onto the table like a house of falling cards. She gave my pussy one last long lick from clit all the way down to my ass.

Then she was gone. I wanted to turn and look but Jell-O has no bones or muscles to move itself. The sound of a champagne cork popping, even under the towel startled me.

"Sit up, my little Flower," she said softly.

I chuckled.

"That's asking for a lot," I said weakly.

"Well, thank you for the compliment."

I took the glass she filled and drank the bubbling wine like it was the ambrosia of the gods. She smiled, filled it again and then filled her own glass.

"Having fun so far?" she asked me after she touched her glass to mine. She paused with her flute just about to touch her lips. I looked up to see that her whole lower face was shiny with oils. It was all down her throat and on her breast. I wondered then at what point she took off her top but I couldn't remember. Hell I was doing go to remember anything just then.

"Fun? Jazz, that was the most awesome orgasm of my life!" I looked at her in near worship. "If that's what a woman's like, I've been missing out."

"Yes, you have. But..."

I lifted an eyebrow.

"But what?" I asked seeing her eyes drop down to her oil slick breast. "Oh, it's my turn?" I said more than asked. 

She gave a nod.

"Don't think of it as a turn." She sipped her champagne, then sets it to the side.

I did the same when she moves forward into my arms. I felt my bare breast touch another woman's for the first time. That there is no coarse hair was the first thing I noticed.

Then her lips were on mine.

The smell of my own sex washed over me. Her lips were heavy with the smell... and the taste. I kissed her softly. Her hands continued their earlier massage on my back as she wrapped me up against her.

I felt her nipples connect with mine. They bumped past each other like little bumper cars as we moved against each other lost in the moment of passion.

"Flower... I need to cum." 

She put so much into those few words. A desires for release certainly, but at the same time a nearly pleading tone for me to help her get to that point. To do to her what she did to me, not for the pleasure but for the closeness.

The nerves tried to come back but I made them go soak in the sauna. Nibbling at her skin, I gave little kisses to her dark flesh as I lowered my head till her nipple brushed my lips. Dark as midnight, dark as pitch... and sweet with oil... my sexy bitch. Sucking in her nipple, I chuckled as the old movie quote came to mind and got twisted. Then such thoughts were pushed into the sauna with my nerves.

I didn't have her skill but I did have the knowledge of what felt good when she had done it to me. I tried my best to copy what she had done as I mouthed and sucked on her breast. I must have been doing something right, I thought as she pulled my face tighter into her breast, driving her nipple into my mouth. I sucked hard, lashing it with my tongue.

Breast to breast, nipple to nipple, I let my mouth go where it wished. My hands soon got tired and decide that they had a mind of their own as well.

She was so soft. My hands caught some of the oil from her breast and I let them slide across her as I suckled. Her nipple was thick and hard. I had to fight the urge to chew on it like I would on tender steak. I could not however stop myself from at least nibbling. First the nipple, then the dark skin around it. My tongue caressed the small ring of bumps around her aureole.

Lower and lower I let my kisses travel. I felt myself starting to take gulping breaths as I felt her bellybutton pass by.

I was going to do this! Oh my god I was really going to do it!

There was a scent of warm vanilla sugar under my nose, then a second scent came to me as I felt her open her legs just a bit more. My lips brushed across her outer lips. The thought that my mouth had just touched another woman's privates was bouncing around inside my head like a squirrel trying to get out the way of an oncoming car. Left... no right... Fuck... it was left!

I licked my lips and took a slow deep breath, breathing in everything. I looked up and saw her looking down at me. She smiled.

"You are so very beautiful, my little Flower."

A warmth flowed from my center. With it came a want... no, a need to give her all the pleasure that she had given me and then more on top of that. To give her that closeness that she had not had, for so many years.

"So are you, my beautiful Jazz."

Grinning at me, she reached her hand down and let her fingers brush through my curly hair.

Smiling back, I leaned down and placed my mouth upon her. As the sweet taste of her filled my mouth, I knew that I had found what I had been looking for.

(I would like to offer my most sincere thanks to damppanties for her skill and patience as my editor. She did a wonderful job. Any mistake you saw are however still mine. Thank you D.P.)



Lavender and Love



This is my Nude Day 2011 Contest contribution. Please Read, Vote, and Comment. I appreciate feedback, as it helps me grow as a writer.

"Lavender and Love" is dedicated to the bright and shining soul who 'shared' her story with me. I know that she has found peace. I may never have known her while she was living, but she's an inspiration to so very many. It is my hope that through this story she has found the acceptance and love she deserved.

This story is also in honor of the women out there who are Survivors, going through treatment, gave up a piece of their bodies and lives to Breast Cancer. It is in Memory of those who fought the good fight, but were called Home.

Let us all have the courage to embrace these human shells we call our Bodies. There is beauty in vulnerability and acceptance. What we see as flaws, imperfections, and struggles, are part of what make us who we are.

Anyone who has gone through major illness, pain, or body devastation knows how precious the body and fleeting life is.

Thank You and ENJOY!

~~~~

Caressa winced as she lowered herself to the bed, casting aside her crutches. It had been a few months since the accident that had nearly killed her. Thank God that no one else had been in the car with her. The doctors claimed she was recovering "remarkably well." She snorted to herself. Whatever that means! 

"Do you find me revolting?" She recalled the last conversation she'd had with her ex-fiance before she kicked him to the curb. They had been lying in each other's arms. He had untangled his body from hers and stood up, grimacing.

"Caress, be reasonable sweetheart. How could you ask me such a question?" A hurt look had come into Rob's eyes, but not as hurtful as she felt. She had scrambled out of the bed after him, reaching for her crutches, thinking she would plead with him. She was afraid to be alone.

"It's about my hideous, un-whole body though, isn't it? That's the reason you refuse to even touch me. Admit it. I'm a big girl. I can handle the truth. I survived a car wreck and a mastectomy. I can survive the truth," she sniffled, but held her head high while she stood with her legs resting against the bed frame. She had watched him for a tell-tale sign. But he had remained reasonable, affable, and stoic.

"We are just not as compatible as we used to be. We don't...how can I say this? We don't fit each other anymore," he sighed, not wanting to hurt her further with his words.

"You used to say that we fit each other like a glove. Did yours shrink?" She spit venom at him, staring at his deflated erection. "Maybe you need some Viagra and a hot young thing to get you going again," she suggested angrily as she stalked/hobbled forward. 

"No." He waited as she glared daggers at him.

"I don't want to know. Get out!" She yanked the ring off of her finger and threw it at him. "Get out now! Get out of my house. Get out of my life! Go find yourself a cougar divorcee or screw some little sorority slut. Just leave me the hell alone!" Resting her weight on the arm she had braced against the wall, she somehow managed to push him with all the built-up rage and pain, right out the door; slamming it with satisfaction in his face. Throwing the crutches across the room, she slid to the floor and collapsed in a puddle of tears.

***

"Damn you Rob and damn you, body!" she growled as she came back to the present. She gingerly slid off her gray sweatpants and hooked the elastic of her cotton panties with her thumbs to draw them down too. She glanced down and frowned at the ugly yellowing bruises on her thighs and the fresh scar extending from her right thigh down to just below the knee. Last week, the cast had finally come off her foot. She knew it could be worse. 

She could be dead or in a coma. She was neither. Her three broken ribs were healing, although still very much tender to the touch. She could swear there was still glass inside the sealed up gash on her forehead that zigzagged down to her chin. It felt like it, at least. Although the facial plastic surgeon had assured her ten times over that she had completely cleaned it of debris and had stitched it up beautifully. 

She slid to the edge of the bed, placed her hands behind herself and hoisted her body up, then hobbled over to the full length mirror. She held onto the top of the dresser for support. She stared at herself, blinking hard, trying to look through the mess to see the woman she was a year ago. The bruises on her face and jagged line, which was beginning to fade, made it difficult. The bruises matched her slate grey eyes. Her short cropped black hair was finally starting to grow back after treatment. It had a playful spike to it. At least she hadn't sustained any head injuries.

"Now, for the real damage," she whispered to herself as she slowly, painstakingly unzipped the black hoodie. She stared, scrutinizing herself as she parted the material away and looked at her lop-sided chest. She cupped her right breast with her hand as she recalled the words of well-meaning people.

"You could have reconstructive surgery," one had suggested.

"You could even have them enlarged; a whole new set of boobs, if you want," another had piped in.

"I bet insurance would even pay for it," a former friend said.

"She won't need insurance," Rob had responded before she could. "I will pay for new ones." He had stroked her hair and kissed her unwounded cheek, sweetly.

"I don't want a new breast. I want my old one back," she had replied, tired. 

***

"I know he would have bought me a new pair. That's all he cared about. He had always thought my breasts were too small to begin with, just like he wanted to have a wig made for me." She told her reflection.

"How long will it take for your hair to grow back?" he had asked her one night after dinner.

"I don't know. Why? Treatment reacts differently in each person." She stared at him, trying to get an idea where he was going with the change in conversation. They had been talking about wedding plans.

"What if I buy you a wig made of real hair? Would you wear it? You'd look sexy as a redhead, I think." He'd chuckled lightly at her frown. 

"You don't like my black hair? You always told me I was your raven-haired beauty." 

"Long hair suits you much better," he'd announced, patting her head like a dog. "Let me buy the wig?"

"I don't want to wear a wig. I like my spikes," she pouted.

"Will you at least wear a wig to the wedding?" His question had surprised her.

"Um, that's a long way off still. I'm sure it will grow back by then." 

"But if it doesn't? For me, will you wear one?"

***

The ringing phone snapped her out of the unpleasant memories.

"Hey Caress," the tenor voice spoke on the other end.

"Hi, Cam. What's up?" She tried to add some cheer to her voice, but failed as she looked at herself in the mirror once more.

"You been crying, hon?" Always the perceptive one.

"A little. I was just thinking about Rob stuff," she admitted.

"Fuck! Why are you wasting your energy on that dickwad, still?" Cam's voice rose in pitch. "Stop doing this to yourself."

"Doing what to myself?" She feigned innocence, lifting her one remaining breast up to her face to inspect it.

"Blaming yourself." He gritted his teeth.

"I'm not," she insisted.

"Yes, yes you are. Have you eaten at all today?"

"Um," she stalled and moved her hand down to rub her empty stomach.

"I take that as a no," Cam prompted.

"A piece of toast this morning count?"

"Considering it is 5 pm, no that doesn't count. I'm going to pick you up and take you to dinner. Get dressed," he ordered her.

"How'd you know I was naked?" she quipped playfully.

"Because," he paused, "I can see you through the window." Her gasp surprisingly pleased him.

"Perv!" she screeched and hobbled to the window to close her curtain, but not before glimpsing her neighbor and best guy friend's face in his window, grinning from ear to ear. "I could report you as a Peeping-Tom."

"Ress, relax. It's not like I haven't seen you naked before. Come on," he offered.

"Jerk, that was like in eighth grade." She bit her lower lip. "You haven't seen me in this, um, state ever."

"You haven't changed all that much, you know." His words meant to soothe, only frustrated her.

"Gee thanks. Why are you such an ass?" she growled.

"I don't think someone had her coffee today, either. Growl all you want, babe. I'll be over in two minutes."

"Wait, I have to--" Too late. He'd hung up the phone.

***

When Cameron let himself into Caressa's house, as he always did, she was buck-naked, stumbling around the room frantically looking for something. He admired her cute butt as it wiggled when she hopped on one foot over to her side table to retrieve her pants. He spotted her blue panties next to his right foot, bent down, picked them up and stuffed them into his jeans' pocket.

"Ahem," he announced himself softly. She stiffened and straightened up, grabbing the comforter off of her bed and dragging it around herself.

"Jesez, Cam! What the hell. Don't you ever knock?" Caressa cursed, stumbling. He rushed forward and steadied her, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Have I ever?" He quirked his eyebrow, feeling the heat of her body against his. She stepped away, fuming. He held her panties up.

"Give me my underwear," she demanded, seeing them dangling from his finger. 

"Come and get them," he taunted, pressing his foot against the edge of the comforter and stepping over to the bed. She stepped forward, reaching out to grab her panties. The comforter started sliding down her body. Panties or being totally naked, those were her choices.

"Argh! Just give them to me." She held the comforter tightly against her chest. 

"Lift your leg." He wiggled his brown brows at her as he set about re-securing the blanket around her body, tucking it under chin, all the while catching her off guard. 

"I can't," she sighed, frustrated. He nodded and helped her to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Can I help?" he asked her.

"Just don't get fresh about it." She leaned back so her legs lifted. "I'm so tired. I don't think I could put them on myself, even if I wanted to." She yawned and tried not to cringe at the pain shooting through her leg.

"Hmm." He gentle placed one leg in the panties and gave her a considering look.

"Hmm what? I know that tone. I don't like that tone." She wagged her index finger at him.

"What tone are you referring to?" He whistled innocently.

"That tone of mischief." She squinted her eyes giving him "the look".

"Moi?" Pointing to himself with his thumb, he slid the panties back off her leg.

"Yes. Now, what is the hmm?" She held on to his arms, watching the panties disappear into his pocket. 

"Oh nothing. It's just, today is July 14th," he stated like she would know what that meant.

"Yeah, so? It's hot out. It's summer. We just had 4th of July. Your point?" Caressa rolled her eyes as she grabbed at the panties sticking out of his pocket. "What do you think you are doing?"

"Well, July 14th is a holiday too. It's National Nude Day," he informed her, holding her wrist and stuffing the panties back into the pocket.

"Yeah right." She laughed uncomfortably. "Those are mine."

"I'm serious. It's sorta unofficial, but it is said that it started over in New Zealand and a lot of people observe it as a way to honor and worship the beauty of the human body. Don't quote me on that," he explained. "In college, I partook in National Nude Day."

"Ohmygod, Cameron, were you a streaker?" She gazed at him, incredulously, worried for her panties.

"I might have been. In the past." He smiled widely. "I know these are yours. I'm just keeping them safe so you don't lose them again." A wicked gleam glimmered in his eyes.

"I never knew!" Her jaw dropped open.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," he said quietly as he tapped the tip of her nose with his finger. "I was a bit of a nudist back then." 

"Um." She couldn't think of what to say to that shocking bit of news." She snapped her mouth shut.

"Anyway, I'm a grown man now," he tried to convince them both which caused a giggle to escape her tightly pressed lips.

"There's that giggle and smile I so adore." He reached out and tousled her spikes.

"You adore my smile?" she asked, suddenly shy and aware of the close proximity between each of them.

"I adore you." He held her gaze and she shrugged to shake off the feeling. "Okay, so hear me out. I'm not proposing that you go out in public naked, like I used to do. We'll work up to that." He laughed at her scowl.

"Just what are you suggesting?" She was determined to get her panties back from him. She had no idea what game he was playing at.

"Well, how about some skinny dipping?" he suggested. "You said the doctor cleared you to get everything wet, right? Did she say anything about submerging yourself in water?"

"It's not like we live by any bodies of water, Cam. And we can't skinny-dip in anyone's pool." She sighed when she saw him tapping his fingers impatiently on her dresser. "She told me that I could take a bath if I wanted to. But-."

Cameron held his hand up. "Who says we can't skinny-dip in a pool? They wouldn't have to know." He wiggled his brow. He had expressive brows and knew just how to wiggle them to affect a reaction from her. 

"Be serious. We aren't sixteen anymore," she tried to reason with him.

"Alright. Well hmm, how about my spa?"

"Your spa?" She cocked her head to the side.

"Just put in this weekend." His smiled broadened. "Didn't you wonder about the big truck parked in front of my house?"

"Well yeah. I figured you ordered some furniture to replace that ratty old couch of yours."

"Hey, lay off the couch. It's well loved and well worn."

"Well loved, I just bet," Caressa snorted. "Just how many women..." Her words trailed off as her hands flew up to cover her mouth in embarrassment. She couldn't believe she had been about to embark on a score-keeping conversation with her best friend. That was off limits. Seeing his shocked look, she avoided his eyes and stared at her crutches lying on the floor. In doing so, she missed the playful smirk that flitted across his face.

"The water will be really soothing to your achy body. I promise. It helps my back a lot." Cameron had injured his back in a work-related incident a few years ago and had been left with nagging pain in it ever since. 

"By myself," she said slowly. 

"I will just help you so you don't kill yourself getting into the jacuzzi. Then I will give you all the time you need." He nodded in agreement. "Alone," he added when he saw the annoyance on her face.

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Well, let me just get my suit on. You wait here." She stood up and started making her way over to her dresser when he stood in front of her, blocking the way.

"What now?" She threw her hands up in exasperation.

"Nude Day, remember? Skinny dipping?" 

"Oh for crying out loud, Cameron!" She shoved his chest, surprised when she felt muscles defined muscles beneath her fingertips. "I'm not comfortable being naked by myself, let alone with someone else watching me," she shouted as she yanked her robe off the hook on her door and wrapped it around herself, letting the comforter drop.

"Must you always shove me around like that?" He scowled. She shot him a look. "You're going to give a guy a complex," he mumbled under his breath.

"Hmph. You like your women weak, Cameron?" She trailed her fingertip up his arm. His fingers came around her wrist.

"I, uh...never mind," he choked on his words as he let go of her wrist. 

"Thought not." She tossed her head back and laughed.

***

Caressa stood in front of the spa, her fingers trailing the warm water. Cameron was testing the chemicals and apologizing for not doing it earlier.

"How are they?" The water looked so inviting.

"They're fine. I'm sorry. That was really lame of me to invite you over for a dip and then forgetting to make sure it was okay to go in." He held the test strip against the bottle. 

"Don't worry about the chemicals. So, how do we do this? I don't think I can lift my leg up that high." She gave the distance from the step to the top of the spa a calculating look.

"I'll just lift you up in my arms and set you down. When you are ready for me, just call me." He bent to lift her. She stared at him and shook her head.

"Cameron." The tone of her voice was edgy.

"I'll turn my head, OK? Geez, just let me get you in the water. You'll have to lose the robe though." He lifted the hem of it.

"No. I'll take the robe off once I'm in," she asserted.

"That's silly. You'll get your robe all wet and you might even get tangled in it and hurt yourself. Stop being so stubborn. I'll turn around while you take the robe off." He started to turn when her hand on his arm stopped him. He turned his head to look at her. He could tell she was uncomfortable.

"I'm your best friend. I saw you right after the accident, when you were almost unrecognizable, remember? I won't laugh. I won't say a word. I will just use my manly physique and get you into the water," he reassured her, holding her hands in his, stroking the tops of them softly.

Caressa clenched her teeth. They had discussed their fears and insecurities at the breast cancer survivor group. The women there had each spoken about the first time they saw themselves naked and the emotions that had run through their minds. They confessed that those fears had been nothing compared to when someone else saw them for the first time, in their deformed states. They had all agreed that it would have to happen one day and the sooner, better than the later. 

Caressa had never even let Rob see her naked, and she was going to marry him. She kept the lights off when they had tried to be intimate after the surgery. His flagging erection had stopped any need to be nervous about him seeing her. The lights had remained off every night. 

This wasn't Rob. This was Cameron, her best friend since elementary school. They'd been through everything together. 

She had held his hand when he had lost his little brother when they were little kids to an allergic reaction. They had been apartment roommates together until he had found her house for sale and helped her moved in. Three months later, the house next to hers had gone up for sale and he had bought it and moved in. Sure, Rob had been uneasy and pissed off, but after a few years of seeing their platonic, best friend relationship together, he had laughed about it and even had become friends with Cameron in the process.

Cameron had been there when she got the news about the cancer; he had rocked her in his arms and let her cry her heart out. He had taken her home with him and tucked her into his bed. Rob had been away at a business convention and had been relieved to know that she was in good hands with Cam. 

Cam had been there in the waiting room when she came out of surgery, because Rob was away, yet again, for business. And just a few short months ago, it was Cameron who had showed up to the hospital after the car wreck, a mess, and carrying flowers and a teddy bear into her hospital room. Rob had been on vacation with his frat brothers from college. This was who they were. 

Cameron the dependable. Cameron the gentle. Cameron the best friend a girl could ever have. If she couldn't trust Cameron with her secrets; if she couldn't trust Cameron to not laugh and to understand, who could she?

"Don't go," Caressa's voice cracked.

"I'm not going anywhere, Ressa." Cameron nodded."What do you need?"

Without responding, Caressa slowly untied her robe and parted the material. She shrugged her shoulders and kept Cameron's gaze as she nudged it down over her arms to pool at her feet. She tightened her fists at her sides and resisted the urge to cover her breast with her hand. Cameron kept his gazed trained on her face and her eyes.




Lavender and Love



"You- you can look," her voice hitched. 

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly, taking a step back at her nod. His eyes slowly moved down from her glassy grey eyes, tears welling at the surface, down to her soft lips. She closed her eyes and licked her chapped lips nervously. 

She watched him swallow a lump at the back of his throat. His gaze swept her collarbone and traveled the column of her throat to just above her chest. Her breathing pattern changed and shallowed as he slid his gaze down further. 

"Am I hideous?" she squeaked, her one eye slitting open. He ignored her. She was glad for the cover of darkness, but could see that he was looking right at her chest and was about to cover up, when he stepped into her space.

"You are beautiful," he whispered, not touching her, but not letting her back away, either. "Are you ready?" He pointed to the water. 

"Um, yeah. Okay." She was confused. Was that all? Was he not going to react? What did she expect? He was her best friend after all. Did she expect him to hold her? Of course not. Who would want to hold her?"

"Unless you had something else in mind." He waited as she remained silent.

"I'm ready," she announced. "Swoop me off my feet, handsome." She giggled as he gently bent and hooked his arm under her knees and lifted her up, placing her into the water. 

Easing her body down, she released a deep sigh as the water lapped over her.

"Feel good?" he asked. She nodded. "The button for the jets is right here." He showed her how to work the jets and pointed to a towel he had left for her on his patio chair.

"Mm. Thanks." She smiled at him, maybe for the first time in three months.

"Take all the time you need. Just call me when you are ready to get out." As he walked away he turned back to her. "Or, if you need any other help." He grinned at her gasp and slammed the screened door shut. She watched him pat the panties in his pocket.

***

Caressa slid over and pressed the button that read "Lights" and smiled as she saw a blue glow emanate from beneath the water's surface. She pressed the "Lights" button again and it changed to green. The color sequence followed that of a rainbow until she got to the last read that said "Wheel," which switched the colors in random order. She hit "More" and found that she could control the lights on the head rest, cup holders, and waterfall. Waterfall? She pressed the button marked "Waterfall" and jumped slightly when three streams of water arced over her head. 

Cameron had obviously gotten the spa with all the bells and whistles. She wondered to herself what on earth he would need it for. It wasn't like he entertained people often. 

She eased her body into the impression of a seat and looked across from her. The spa looked big enough to fit at least eight people. There were three full sized "seats" lined with jets, and jets placed strategically throughout to pinpoint different trouble areas of the body. She was appreciative of the bells and whistles. She settled back into the largest seat and lay her head back on the head rest, reaching her arm over to turn off the spa lights and pressed the button for the jets on the lowest setting. She knew her body wouldn't be able to handle any more than the softest stream. 

She closed her eyes and settled back against the jets, surprised when the streams of water began to move slowly up and down her back. Apparently he had spared no expense with the spa. Then she remembered he had just gotten a raise attached to his promotion. Leave it to Cam to buy a spa instead of a new car or new furniture. She laughed to herself. Her mind wandered across many subjects: the accident, the surgery, the break up, how hungry she suddenly felt. She lightly put her hands on it to still the rumble and then let out a small burp, glad no one heard it. 

The jets were easing the tenseness of her body and she began to relax, taking deep breaths into her lungs and letting them out slowly. She moved her hands from her stomach up to her breast, cupping it and squeezing gently. She felt bereft and unsure where to place her second hand. Before, she would have held both breasts in her hands and squeezed them together, brushing her thumb over the tips. Shrugging, she moved her left hand down over her stomach to rest at the triangle of black curls at the apex of her thighs. Should she? She sat up a little and looked around. She could see the light from the TV on in Cameron's house. The light in the kitchen was on, but no movement inside.

Just in case, she hunched down low in the water, sliding one finger along her slit. She kneaded her breast with her hand and leaned her head back to get more comfortable. She hadn't touched herself in so long. She hadn't been touched in so long. The water stung her cheek a bit and she was forced to sit straighter, which raised her chest to the surface. She eased her finger past the soft folds of her pussy to push deeper inside, massaging her breast. She avoided the seeming black hole of flatness on the left side of her body, feeling uneven and lopsided, was the best word to describe the vertigo she felt thinking about it.

She once more wondered why she had let Rob get away with his mental abuse for as long as she did. She had always been a strong woman, prided herself on her independence and strong will. She was educated, bright, and a champion to those who needed one. But after the diagnosis, she had started slipping into a victim mentality. At the time, before the surgery, Rob had been only too happy to step in and play the hero. He had doted on her and plied her with empty compliments. She had eaten out of his hand. She was in love. She was going to marry him. She was going to let him make the decisions and be happy in domestic bliss. 

She knew deep down she never would have been content with that. But he had so easily swayed her with his words, with his mock concern. She knew now that's what it had been all along. She first realized it when she discovered the hastily-written message from his secret lover. But she looked past it when he had pleaded with her and made his promises. He had reminded her that she needed him. So, she had forgiven him, or at least tried to forget the incident. He became more demanding after that and begun to dictate her life; she so weak, so sick, had let him. 

Caressa splashed the water in anger. "No. No more thoughts of Rob," she said to the silent night. "This is my time. This is for me." 

To prove this to herself, she picked up momentum and brushed against her clit with her thumb, sending tingles throughout her body. She pinched her nipple and then moved over to another seat. Turning gingerly, she faced the jets, slid her body forward, and braced her hands on the seat. She kept her injured legs closed, but rose up; so that her bottom was exposed and pushed gently against the largest jet. She dropped her body down a fraction of an inch and let the stream of water hit her clitoris, causing her to shiver with delight. 

"Oh!" she exclaimed loudly. She hoped the sound would be drowned out by the jets, but at this point was enjoying herself too much to care. After a few seconds, the sensitivity on her clit demanded she find relief elsewhere. She pushed herself up, keeping her legs tightly closed and sucked in a breath as the stream dove into her heat, pounding inside. She squirmed around whimpering, throwing her head back and squeezing her eyes shut. 

She saw a flash of light from the inside of her eyelids and slowed her movements, afraid to look. She peeked with one eye to see that the patio light was on. She figured it was probably set on a timer. She looked away, but couldn't help noticing the shadow on the ground by the door. She considered yelling at Cameron for his peeping-tom ways. She knew that was who it was. But, screw it! She undulated her hips and moaned a bit louder for her audience, shocked at her sudden brazenness. Her hand flew to her breast and she tugged her nipple. 

"Mm, uh," she panted, feeling the walls of her pussy constricting and her orgasm building. Orgasm? Damn, she needed to come over to Cameron's more often! She looked at the ground again. The shadow was gone and she sighed, slightly disappointed. No matter. She thrust her hips and tried to find purchase on the shaft of water, needing release. 

"Come on. Come on. Come on!" She willed her body to cooperate. "Please," she begged as she frantically rubbed at her clit. 

"Dammit! I need my other one!" she shouted into the air, filled with frustration and anger. "I can't do this without it," she cried. "It's not fair." She pulled off the jet and floated to the other side of the jacuzzi, slamming the jet button to turn it off.

***

Cameron had come out to check on Caressa. He wanted to let her know he made her dinner and had a surprise for her. But when he had come out of the house and seen a look of concentration on her face, he had been curious. He hadn't meant to watch. Oh, who was he kidding? This had been one of his wet dreams since he was a teenager. Sure, he had watched Caressa undress and even get a little playful in the mirror with herself, but this - her fingering herself and fucking the jacuzzi jet - this was beyond his youthful imaginings. 

"Fuck," he cursed under his breath. As he tried to move away from the light, he heard her words. He wanted to help her. He wanted to make her realize he could give her what she sought. He could help her find release. He contented himself to watch as long as he could. He really did. But when she lost the edge of her orgasm and began crying, his resolve broke and his feet moved of their own volition. 

He stood at the side of the spa. Her eyes were closed and she was heaving great big sobs. He quickly shucked off his jeans and shirt and climbed into the water, moving over to where she huddled against the corner. She looked up, trembling, and let him slip his arms around her. 

"Shh, Caressa." He caressed her hair. "I'm here. Let it out." He lifted her into his arms and set her in his lap. She turned to him and buried her face in his chest.

"I can't. I can't, you know, without, you know..." she said in code.

"You can't orgasm?" he asked.

"I, uh - I have - scratch that. I had very sensitive breasts. Without the one, I feel all weird and can't well, I can't finish myself off. Cameron, it hurts," she confessed shyly, blushing. 

"It hurts to not to be able to make myself feel good. I hurt all over. It hurts that no one wants me. It hurts that my fiance would rather be with someone else, someone whole, than to touch me."

"He did what!?!" Cameron shouted, seething, rising out of the water, intent on finding the bastard and sending him to the hospital. 

"I don't want to talk about him! I just- I don't want to feel anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore. Make it go away. Please." Her plea cut to his heart and dug in. She was in such a fragile state. As much as he wanted to answer her plea and give her the pleasure she was seeking, now didn't seem the right time. He held her and tried to ignore the reactions going on in his body. He picked her hand up and turned it over. 

"You're water-logged hon." He brushed his thumb against the wrinkled skin of her palm. She visibly shivered at the action.

"And hungry." She nodded, pulling her hand away.

"I did promise you a meal. It's waiting inside." He smiled. "Ready?"

"Yes, I'm famished. What did you make me?" She yelped when he scooped her out of the water, stepped over the edge, and carried her into the house.

"My towel!" she exclaimed.

"It's Nude Day, remember?" Then he kissed her nose. She blinked and opened her mouth to say something. 

"But, we're leaving a puddle of water all over your floor," she tried.

"Does it look like the water bothers me?" He took advantage of her worry and dipped his head down to kiss her.

"C-C-Cameron." Her teeth chattered as he set her down on the cushion of the kitchen chair and turned to the kitchen counter. The table was set for two and there was a bouquet of wildflowers in the middle. The smell of home cooking filled the air. 

"Did you plan this?" She asked when she found her voice again, still shivering. "Cam, please let me have a towel or blanket or something. I'm cold!" she grumbled. 

"This will warm you up." He plunked a bowl full of pasta down in front of her, leaning his body close to hers. The heat from his body radiated out to her back and she leaned back into it, tipping her head up and looking up at his face hovering over hers.  

"Answer me."

"I told you I had a surprise for you, didn't I? I wanted to start it off with full bellies." He moved away from her, scooping the food into their bowls.

"What is this a date?" She flitted her hand around the table. "Flowers? A full meal? Chicken Alfredo, my favorite? Cameron, you have some explaining to do." Her hands were on her hips as she twisted around to look him in the eye.

"Don't you like it?" He gave her puppy dog eyes. "Just eat it. I bet you didn't know I could cook, now. Did you?" He smiled as she took a hesitant bite and then closed her eyes.

"Mm, it's so creamy. Did you make the sauce?" She let the savory flavors roll around on her tongue, moaning a bit.

"Yes. I'm glad you approve. Is the chicken tender enough?" He watched her take another bite and his mouth watered to taste her lips.

"Mhm. Delicious. When did you learn to cook?" She asked with surprise as she brought up another forkful.

"Oh, I don't know. Well, I took some lessons." He watched the food travel from her bowl to her sweet mouth.

"Lessons? Cooking lessons?" She stared at him.

"Yeah. My instructor said I was one of her best students, so I enrolled in culinary school part time." Licking his lips, he leaned forward. She smiled up at him and placed a forkful in his mouth. He clenched the fork with his teeth.

"Wow. Well, if all of your food tastes this great, I'd say you might have a new career ahead of you." Tugging the fork out of his mouth, she picked up the wine glass and swirled it around. He beamed at her.

"Thanks. I'm glad you are enjoying it." He took his seat and began to dig into the dish himself, pleased with how it turned out.

***

"Where are we going?" Caressa asked, testing the blindfold and holding her robe tightly closed, "and why am I still naked?"

"You'll find out soon enough. How many times do I have to say..."

"Nude Day, yes I know. Listen Cam, I don't want to get arrested, okay? You can understand that right?" she tried to get through his thick skull again.

"You won't. You're fully clothed now. For all a passerby might guess you could be in a swim suit under the robe. You don't have to be nude until we get inside," he assured her, patting her hand as he shifted gears on his car.

"Inside where?" she needled him.

"Stop with the questions. Don't you like surprises?" He clasped her hand in his giving it a gentle squeeze.

"No, I don't really. I don't even know why I agreed to this in the first place," she started.

"Ah, because I seduced you with good food." He chuckled heartily. "And...."

"Okay, okay. But are we almost there?" She dismissed the "and," and listened. A rhythmic beat was coming from his direction. She reached her hand over and felt him tapping the steering wheel. Was he fidgeting? She wondered what on earth he had to be nervous about. She was the vulnerable one here.

***

Cameron was nervous. He just hoped his surprise went over well and that Caressa would accept his gift to her. He really thought it might help her to heal and to get past some of her insecurities, at least he hoped it would. He hadn't planned on what he would do if she hated the idea, if she hated him, if she thought he had overstepped.

He pulled into the parking lot, turned off the car, and looked over at his best friend. She was on the edge of her seat and he couldn't help leaning over and kissing her cheek. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

"No. I'm not staying anywhere in this state of undress, alone."

"I promise I'll be quick. Don't you trust me? It's perfectly safe." He stroked her cheek.

"I don't care."

"We're in a safe neighborhood. There are mini-vans in the driveways and kid's bicycles left in the yards."

"What the hell, Cam? Get back here!" she growled as she heard the door slam shut. "I don't like this," she said to the empty car. "I don't like this at all." 

She hummed to herself impatiently, anxiously, waiting. She knew he would never put her in harms way, but lately she was learning things about him that had surprised and shocked her. Did she even know this man who was her best friend, anymore? She heard the door open.

"OK, ready for you now." A hand reached in and took hers. She stayed rooted to her seat. 

"Come on, Caressa. I'll guide you into the house. You'll be fine," he coaxed.

"This is weird. I don't like it. Take me home, now," she demanded. "Argh! Cameron put me down right this instant," she screeched at him as he unbuckled her seat and picked her up. 

"Stop manhandling me."

The earthy scent of sage and a hint of pungent nag champa filled her nostrils as Cameron set her on her feet. She swayed, feeling vertigo creeping upon her. Cameron removed the blindfold and she blinked in the soft, warm light, taking in her surroundings. An attractive, heavily tattooed woman stood before her, buck-naked. She held her hand out to her and smiled.

"I'm Lorianna. You must be Caressa. Come, shed your clothing and step into my sanctuary." Her soft voice lulled Caressa into complacence, or was it the herbs burning? Caressa followed the woman inside. 

Her eyes blurred as they tried to follow the lines and shapes of ink running across Lorianna's skin. She stepped closer and that's when she realized something. The woman's chest was completely flat. Not flat-chested, as in small breasts, but completely void of breasts. She hadn't noticed before because there was a gorgeous moonlit scene tattooed across the front of her. Where one breast would have been there was a full moon, and in place of the other, the top of a tree. She stared at it. 

"Off with the robe, sweetie. Don't be shy. We are all celebrating this day today." She smiled sweetly at her, helping her disrobe and drawing her into another room. Cameron trailed the two women, giving Caressa time to adjust.

"All of you?" Caressa spoke for the first time since entering. Japanese symbols hung from the ceiling and clusters of crystals were displayed around the room, nestled in every little corner. The soothing, acoustic strains of new age music surrounded the room. There were four other people occupying the room. She recognized a couple of them from somewhere.

"Oh Caressa! We're so pleased to see you here," gushed Miranda, one of the women from the survivor group she attended.

"What's going on?" she asked, confused. An older woman with long white hair stepped forward and took her hand. All of the women were nude.

"We're celebrating our imperfect bodies, our survival, and our femininity," Judy stated as she hugged the younger woman to her chest. Caressa felt awkward. She had never been hugged naked, nor by another naked woman, let alone by a woman without breasts.

"I don't understand." Caressa shook her head and then spotted Cameron off to the side.

"Cam?" 

He stepped forward, met each woman's eye, and upon seeing their nods of encouragement, dropped his own robe and stepped into the light. Murmurs of approval fluttered around the room.

"Well, I have been coming to Lorianna for my tattoos for years, not to mention her sage advice." He smiled at the neo-flower child. "When I was here for a reading last week, she had mentioned her Nude Day ceremony and the women who would be included. I had wondered if the same ladies were the ones in your group and contacted them. When I learned that they were, I asked them if they had ever discussed this with you before." 




Lavender and Love



A middle-aged African American woman, Camille, stepped forward. She still wore a shirt. "We told him that we had discussed it, but you had seemed neither interested, nor disinterested. He asked if we thought you might want to take part in it, if you were surrounded by friends." She pointed to a plush chair and helped Caressa to sit down.

"Thank you, Camille. But I still don't understand." Caressa looked around at the women before her.

"As you can see, Caressa. I am like you ladies. I too have had a mastectomy, well double. I too have survived. I delved into my art and into the human body and discovered a way to help add healing to the situation. I take something personal from each woman, whether it be a scene of their life when they were most happy, a picture of their child, something that reminds them of beauty or femininity, and I carve and ink it into their skin to remind them that they are beautiful. Your friends, including this amazing man here, thought that maybe you would have something special you wanted on your chest. That is, if you are interested in this type of healing. You can just sit and watch before you decide." 

Caressa sighed and rubbed her temples, watching as Lorianna went to work setting up her table and work station. When she was finished arranging the needles and ink, she went over to a side table and brewed some coffee, set out some tea, and popped open a plastic container of various muffins and cookies. Then she turned to address the room.

"Get comfy ladies. I imagine this will take most of the night. I'm only going to do an outline in black. You can come back individually or together to get the color, except for Camille. I already started hers a couple of weeks ago. She gets color today." Lorianna moved back over to her tray. Everyone looked over at Camille.

"What? Don't you give me those looks. I was anxious to get started." Camille smiled proudly as she removed her shirt revealing the beautiful outline of a phoenix rising out of a pile of ribbons. The women oohed and aahed.

"Well that explains why you kept your shirt on." Judy nodded.

***

Cameron plopped down beside Caressa and took her hand in his, settling it in his lap while absently rubbing the side of her thumb. She felt the heat from his touch spread down her arm and into her heart.

"What do you think?" he whispered. "Are you adventurous enough for this?"

"I don't know, Cam. Tattoos are really expensive and permanent." She rested her head on his shoulder. He caressed her cheek.

"You don't have to worry about the cost, Caressa. That's true. They are a permanent testament to your strength and a reminder of the beauty that you have within you and outside of you. Look at these women here. They have all gone through what you have. Maybe not the same situation, or the same hardships, and certainly not your accident; but they all have the same feelings inside as you do. They all need to be reminded of their intrinsic beauty." He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. 

"Just like you need to know that. If you were to get the tattoo and take part, what do you think you would want?" he questioned, watching her eyes scan the instruments.

"I have thought about this before, to be honest. I just didn't have the courage or the money to do it. So, I already know what I want." She turned her head to him.

"What?" he prompted.

"Lavender." She smiled at him. Cameron leaned in closer and breathed in the very scent she mentioned. She wore it in her hair, he knew. He nodded his approval. Her smile broadened.

"It has the ability to regenerate cells, to promote calm, sleep, and healing," she listed.

"It's perfect." 

***

Out of the corner of her eye, Caressa saw a cool Cam stand up. He picked up a blanket from the back of the couch and walked over, handing it to Lorianna. Then he walked out of the room. She hobbled over to the table to watch every move the tattoo artist made. 

Lorianna pressed the special tracing paper against Miranda's skin, making sure the design stuck, then lifted it away. Next she filled the tiny cups with black ink, loaded the first needle, and took out the A&D cream and bandages for afterward. 

Miranda was the first to go. She chose a portrait of her toddler daughter on one side and a picture of a unicorn on the other. Tears fell from her eyes as the picture began to take shape. 

"I'm just glad," Sniffle. "...that I got to nurse my baby before losing them both," Miranda whispered. Judy handed her a tissue. Miranda was only a few years older than Caressa and her words went straight to her heart. 

God, she hadn't even thought about babies or the ability to breastfeed. She looked at each woman and noticed that Deena, the second youngest of the group looked pale. She stood quickly and rushed out of the room. A moment later, Cam quietly slipped back into the room looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Can you still breastfeed with only one breast?" Caressa blurted out loud before she could think about her words or the effect they'd have on the other women. She looked at each of their faces. Caressa was about to hobble after Deena when someone answered her question. 

"You certainly can." Camille announced with a broad smile. "Many women have been successful breastfeeding with only one breast. I'm not sure if I told you girls this, but I'm a lactation consultant. God's biggest joke, right? Taking both breasts from me. I was able to breastfeed my children, and like Miranda am thankful for it. It doesn't stop me from helping other women, either, especially in our position." 

Caressa breathed a sigh of relief. Wow, why was she thinking about babies all of a sudden? She was too young to be thinking about babies. She had no business thinking about babies in the state of chaos she was living in right now. Right? She glanced over to see what Cam's reaction to this girl-talk was. He was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, listening intently. He caught her glance and smiled at her.

"Are you OK with this kind of talk?" she whispered.

"I'm taking notes." His wink had her wondering what the hell he meant. She was about to ask when the sound of vomiting coming from the direction of the bathroom had everyone turning their head. Deena came out of the bathroom, looking even paler. Judy rushed forward. When Deena glanced at Cam, a bit of color returned to her cheeks and she blushed.

"Deena, are you okay?" She ushered her over to the couch. Deena nodded her head, holding her stomach.

"I'm pregnant." She beamed. "I didn't think it would be possible with all of my health problems. I'm not getting too excited. I just found out this morning. The doctor gave me clearance a couple of months ago that I could start trying. I didn't need radiation or chemotherapy. It's been three years since the surgery, so that made it safe for us to try." She took a breath and caressed her stomach.

"We only had sex the one time after the appointment, because I caught bronchitis. It took the first time!" she screeched and then looked over at Caressa. "I'll let you know how one-breasted feeding goes." She giggled giddily. Throughout the exchange of news, Lorianna remained focused on the tattoo needle.

"Anyway, I'll be sitting this tattoo out. But I'll be rooting for all of you ladies." She sat down after receiving hugs from everyone, including Cameron. Out of the corner of her eye, Caressa saw him whisper something into Deena's ear. They both looked over at her. She kept her eyes focused on the tattoo of the unicorn forming on Miranda's left side. 

"Doesn't it hurt?" Deena questioned Miranda who winced a bit, but otherwise seemed unaffected.

"After childbirth, this is nothing," she laughed. "You'll learn that soon enough." The women all joined in the laughter.

"True enough," Camille agreed.

"Unless you have drugs," Judy piped in.

"I'm totally going to have drugs," Deena confirmed.

"Unless it's too late and the baby is ready to be out before you have the chance," Judy shared.

"Did you have drugs?" Deena asked Miranda.

"My baby was one that came rushing into this world, without giving me a chance for drugs. I was in labor for two hours. How about you guys?" Miranda asked them. 

"No kids. I have my dogs though and my girlfriend," Judy chuckled. "Does that count? Listen, I think that after going through what we went through with surgeries and treatments, etc...we're strong enough to go through anything. A tat is the least of our worries."

"Agreed!" hhe women said in unison. 

Caressa shifted her body closer to Cameron's, while she listened to the female chatter. He took her hand in his. "Is it going to hurt?"

"It's more annoying than anything. I'll hold your hand," he promised, "unless you've changed your mind."

"No. I want this. I want..."

"Next up!" Lorianna announced as she helped Miranda off the table. 

Camille went next and got her phoenix filled in with fiery colors. The pile of ribbons was of course pink. Her butterfly was blue. She didn't even wince. After she was done, she hopped off the table and showed the women her other various tattoos. 

Judy chose a blood red rose. The thorns were in the shape of ribbons and her girlfriend's name was written just below it. 

The women milled about the room chatting and munching on goodies and sipping on hot tea and coffee. Deena had already consumed three muffins and was starting on her fourth.

"Have a few cookies, too," Judy said, handing her a stack of cookies.

"I'm good now." Deena blushed. "But I gotta pee so bad! Oops, sorry Cameron. I keep forgetting we have a guy among us." She blushed another shade of red. He waved her away with a shrug.

***

"You are taking this really well," Caressa commented as she curled up on the couch and lay her head in his lap, yawning.

"Three sisters and a girly best friend, remember?" He kissed her forehead and she sighed, snuggling against him.

"You're pretty snuggly tonight."

"I feel comfortable for once. You help me feel that way." She reached up and touched his cheek, her fingertips brushing against the trim goatee on his chin. Cam closed his eyes at her touch. 

She had never been attracted to a man with facial hair before. Was that why she had never noticed how handsome her best friend was? Cam had started growing facial hair in college. At one point it was a full beard, with a mustache and she told him he looked like a bear-man. He had growled in her ear and she had shoved him out of her car that summer night. 

He'd also sported a soul patch for a little while. She had told him how ridiculous the tiny tuft of hair had looked under his bottom lip. It wasn't like he was a musician or artist or something like that who could get away with wearing one.

"Besides, I think that would tickle when a girl kissed you." She had left herself wide open. She had known that.

"Hm and maybe a bit more. Do you want to test it out?" He had wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her and she had shoved him. Something stirred low in her belly at the thought. She had to admit, the trimmed hair looked good on him. Too good.

"You're up next." Cam opened his eyes. They were dilated and she could tell he was controlling his breathing. "Lost in thought?"

She blushed, sat up and gently rolled off the couch. 

***

"Ow ow ow," Caressa mumbled after Cameron had helped her up onto the table.

"Hon, I haven't even touched you with the needle yet. I'm just spraying the area with disinfectant. Relax," Lorianna said as she leaned over Caressa to clean the area thoroughly. "Lavender is one of my favorite herbs, too. Remind me when you leave to send you home with some of my lavender healing goodies that I made."

"It's cold," she complained.

"Analgesic numbing spray tends to be cold, silly." Cam averted his eyes from her pert breast. "Are you comfortable enough? Do you need another pillow for your leg?"

"I'm okay. Thanks. I'm cold though. Come to think of it, I've been cold ever since you made me strip and that was hours and hours ago," she pouted. Cameron grabbed the soft blanket from the bottom of the table and pulled it up to cover her legs. 

"Nude Day, Ressa." He laughed.

"Nude Day, Schmude Day," she grumbled. "Anyway, how is that you are so comfortable with this? Aren't you a bit aroused by these naked women?" She looked down pointedly. Cameron leaned close to her, purposefully blocking her view from the needle about to penetrate her skin.

"The only naked body I'm interested in is yours. I've dreamed--."

"OW!!!" Caressa screeched as the needle pierced her skin. "Ugh! I wish you had warned me you were going to do that," she whimpered at Lorianna.

"In your case it was better for you to be distracted and not know." Lorianna went to work. "Thanks, Cameron. You can continue your conversation. I won't listen." She winked. "Too hard." She laughed and then put on a serious face to focus. 

***

The other women were talking amongst themselves and admiring each other's fresh tattoos. Cameron noted a camaraderie there that not many would understand. The common thread of pain and illness bonded them together, but this shared experience of acceptance and healing connected them like soul sisters. He could see that in the way they embraced each other. Each one was a different age, had a different background and different history. He was an outsider, and yet he felt like he had been let in on a sacred secret. 

He wondered if anyone besides Deena had noticed him slipping away earlier. It was rather fortunate that Deena did not bust into the restroom a moment sooner. For if she had, they would have both been embarrassed by his need for release. It was bad enough that she had knocked precisely in the middle of a grunt. When he opened the door she had shoved past him, embarrassed. He had noticed her palor, but she had slammed the door in his face before he could express his concern.

He hadn't lied to Caressa. It wasn't being surrounded by a bunch of naked women that aroused him; it was seeing her, his best friend, naked. No not these naked women, only you. He wanted to tell her. She'd obviously been absorbed with her surroundings when they'd first entered the house that she hadn't noticed his hard cock. Just as well. He thought. Each time she shifted next to him on the couch, he felt he was going to jump out of his skin. The jittery nerves he had felt rippling through her body, had sent a tidal wave through his own. 

By the time Caressa had asked him about his lack of arousal, he had already taken care of it. He'd waited until the women were engaged in chatter and then had gotten quickly out of there to relieve the pressure. 

Tonight he would tell his best friend his deepest secret. He was in love with her, had been ever since they were in high school. He'd never had the nerve to tell her. At every opportunity where he almost manned up, something would interfere. She would be in a relationship, or he would be in one. But to be honest with himself, he was a chicken-shit, afraid of ruining the amazing friendship they shared. 

He'd wanted to tell her when she told him about her engagement. He didn't trust Rob as far as he could throw him and he had a great pitcher's arm. When Caressa broke the news of the cancer and had come to him for comfort, rather than her asshole fiance, he'd had the perfect chance. But she seemed so happy and in love. As he waited outside the operating room while she had her breast removed he went over the words in his head a hundred times. He rushed into the recovery room with a bouquet of wildflowers and a teddy bear. 

She groggily smiled and said the words that stung the most, "Oh, Hi Cam. Have you seen Rob?" 

He stuffed the feelings back down inside. Right after the accident, while she lay in the hospital bed, fighting for life, he had whispered the words in her ear. She had been unconscious. It hadn't counted then. But it would count tonight. He swore that nothing would get in his way this time. 

***

"It feels like a cat scratching the hell out of me." Caressa's complaint cut through his thoughts. "A very insistent, incessant, angry, bitch-of-a-cat." She crushed his hand. He had been holding her hand the whole time. It was clammy and sweaty, but he could tell that she wasn't about to let it go

"Gee, thanks!" Lorianna stated as she worked on the next blossom. "Hiss." She smiled as she gathered more ink. "Hold still."

"Not too bad, right?" Cam questioned.

"No comment. Oooh, damn that hurts," She cursed.

"Sorry. This is the most tender spot. I'm trying to be gentle as I work around the scar tissue." Lorianna glanced up. Seeing the pale face of her client, she stopped the needle. "You need a break? You look a bit pasty."

"I am pasty. Maybe a drink of water. If you stop now I'll chicken out and have half a tattoo. That won't be very pretty." Caressa clenched her teeth.

***

"You're doing great. It is going to be beautiful. Lori's almost finished. She's definitely at the worst part." Camille came over with a glass of water and held it to her lips. "Do you want another hand or two to hold?" At Caressa's nod the other women gathered around her.

"Thanks friends," Caressa said quietly, closing her eyes.

"You're like the little sister of the group. We'll take care of you," Judy assured her. 

"Take a few deep breaths, Caressa," Lorianna advised with the needle poised over her chest.

"I'm right here, chickadee," Cam whispered. "Squeeze as hard as you want. I won't break." Caressa nodded.

"Oh my God! Damn that hurts. Make it stop. Ow ow ow ow!" she cried out.

"Shh, almost done." She wasn't sure who was shushing her, but it was a female voice. "Deep breaths. Think of something to keep your mind off the pain."

"Cameron. Cam, tell me what you have been dreaming about." 

***

Shit! How had he been so stupid as to almost slip up like that? He had hoped she hadn't been paying attention or that the tattoo pain would have overridden his almost-words. No such luck. Should he tell her here, in front of all of these women? He had visions of telling her privately as he held her close to him, whispering the words in her ear and then making sweet love to her. But he couldn't lie to her. She would see through the lie. Well, he could tell her part of it now and wait for the big announcement later. Yeah, that'll work.

"Yes. What were you about to tell her?" Miranda piped in. She was the gossip of the group.

"I was going to say -- " he addressed Caressa, "I've been dreaming about you for years."

"Well, that's just silly. I'm right here, Cam. I always have been" His words obviously hadn't sunk in yet. Cameron took a breath, rubbed his temples and dove in.

"Caressa. I've been dreaming about having your sweet body pressed against mine. I've been dreaming about holding you in my arms while you slept and..."

"Done!" Lorianna exclaimed. SAVED! Whew. Bless Lorianna's timing. She smirked at him. At the exclamation, Caressa turned her attention to her chest and let the words hang in the air. 

She slid off the table and hobbled over to the full length mirror in the corner of the room. Cameron gave her space and hung back with Lorianna. He noticed a wet spot on the sheet of the table and cocked his head giving his best friend's retreating form a curious look. Was it the excitement and stress of the tattoo that had gotten her wet? The close proximity to the naked women? Nah, she didn't swing that way. Or was it his presence and words that had aroused her. He didn't know, but he would find out. 

***

Caressa looked at her reflection in the mirror. She ignored the bruises and scars and honed in on the delicate curves and lines displayed on the side of her chest. It was a work of art. She had thought the other ladies' tattoos were beautiful too, but hers' had an almost magical quality to it. She couldn't wait to see the lavender color blooming there.




Lavender and Love



"How about a picture for my wall?" Lorianna grabbed her digital camera. "I won't show your faces if you don't want me to," she assured them. The women stood, put their arms around each other, and smiled for the camera. They all agreed that she could show their faces. 

"Can you take one of Cam and me? I want to have it to remember what he did for me." Caressa pulled him over to her. Lorianna snapped the picture as the other women began to get dressed.

"You're a genius," Caressa breathed as she turned to Lorianna. "Thank you. It's gorgeous," she sniffled. 

"Wait'll I add color to it." Lorianna applied the A&D cream to Caressa's skin and then placed a bandage over it. At Caressa's worried look she said, "Don't worry, not today. You have to wait at least 2 weeks for the color." She picked up a few pamphlets from off the counter and handed one to each woman about tattoo care, hugging each one in turn. 

"I think we all need to go home and sleep." Then she looked over at Cam, caught his eye and mouthed. "Or most of us, anyhow." 

He shook his head and put his finger to his lips in a shushing gesture. She walked over and touched the band-aid on his arm, with her eyebrow raised in a silent question.

"Okay, I will." He whispered. Lorianna grinned at him, satisfied and then turned back to the ladies.

"So, which of you ladies thinks she is brave enough to display your tattoos outside? In the nude?"

"Um, like naked?" Miranda gulped.

"Yes. We can have a little parade," Lorianna suggested.

"Fine by me." Camilla dropped the shirt she was about to put back on.

"No one wants to see my wrinkled body, but sure. Why not? What have we got to lose?" Judy said. 

"Isn't that against the law?" Deena asked as she finished buttoning her jeans. She was fully clothed now.

"Technically, it's past Nude Day," Caressa jumped in. 

"Actually, I need you to all keep the bandages on for a few hours." Lorianna took back over the conversation. 

"Don't forget to wash with soap and water and moisturize, moisturize, moisturize it," she paused, "but if you want to get naked and run around, by all means, go for it. I think that we've celebrated Nude Day here together already." The women nodded their heads in agreement.

"You can call me to schedule your color in a few weeks. I like to wait at least two weeks though. If you don't want color, that's fine too. It's been a real honor getting to know you ladies and to be a part of this special event." She scooped up a stack of business cards from her counter and gathered a handful of rose quartz crystals in her hand to distribute.

"Rose quartz is for healing, especially healing of the emotions. You can carry this with you or place it under your pillow. Whether you believe in it or not, it's still a pretty piece and I assure you that it will still work." The women accepted the crystals. "If any of you are interested in crystals, I can help you choose the ones best suited for your needs. They all have unique healing and metaphysical properties to them. That goes for alternative healing methods, as well." A few of the women were interested and Lorianna handed them various other pamphlets.

"Also, if you ever need any spiritual advice or readings, I'm your woman. Go in peace sisters." Everyone thanked Lorianna, embraced each other, and finished getting dressed. Cameron and Caressa were the last to leave.

***

Caressa yawned as Cameron helped her into the car. She held the bag that Lorianna had given her on her way out. The bag contained essential lavender oil, lavender shampoo, lavender soap, and lavender lotion. She couldn't wait to take a bath and try it out after the tattoo healed. 

"Lorianna is amazing," Caressa gushed.

"I'm glad you think so. I think she is too." Cameron nodded, his eyes on the dark road.

"She's sorta magical. Did you ever date her?" She sunk into the comfy warmth of her fluffy bath robe and closed her eyes.

"No. Why do you ask?" Cameron wondered.

"She just seems like your type, is all. I really really liked her." She opened her eyes and looked at his forearm. "Cam, I've been meaning to ask you what is with the band-aid?"

"Huh? Oh. That." He shrugged and then smiled. 

"Why don't you peel it off for me." 

Caressa pinched the edge of the band-aid and quickly tore it off as he winced slightly. She gasped and then tears filled her eyes seeing the pink ribbon tattoo on his arm with her initials below it.

"I really really like you," he responded. 

"But..." She was speechless.

"Take a rest, Ressa. I'll wake you when we get home." 

***

Cameron drove into his driveway, shut off the engine and looked over at Caressa. She was snoring softly and looked adorable. The tie of her robe had loosened and he could see her skin. For some reason seeing tantalizing glimpses of her covered up flesh aroused him more than seeing her completely naked had. He climbed out of the car, went around to her side and scooped her gently into his arms. She sighed and snuggled into him. He carried her inside.

"Ress, we're home. Do you wanna crash at my place for awhile?"

"Okay," she murmured against his neck. He carried her into his bedroom and pulled the covers off, gently setting her down. She clung to his neck, opening sleepy eyes to look at him.

"Will you hold me?" At her question he climbed into the bed and slipped his arms tenderly around her, hugging her sweet little body to his. 

"Thanks," he gritted his teeth when she sighed and wiggled her butt against his crotch, trying to get comfy. 

"No problem. Go to sleep." He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"Cam?" She yawned again and turned her body into his.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for tonight. You're the best-est friend in the whole world," her quiet voice said.

"You're welcome," he mumbled, kissing her cheek. "I'm right here. Go to sleep." He closed his eyes.

"Cam?" 

When he opened his eyes she was watching him, her lips were a breath away from his.

"Yes, Ress?" He sighed, trying to control his urges feeling the heat of her against him, breathing her lavender scent in.

"I love you, too." When her lips touched his, he almost lost it.

"What?" He tried to pull his head away, puzzled. But her arms came up around him, pulling him closer. She kissed him, pressing her tongue to the seam of his lips. When he parted them for her, she slid her tongue against his, taking it into her mouth. 

Cradling her head in his hands, he deepened the kiss. His half-erect cock pressed against her thigh and she shifted her body. He drifted his hands down to caress her back, pulling her against him. She snuggled, nestling her head under his chin.

"Who told you?" he questioned as she trailed her fingers along his bare chest.

"You did, silly." Her hands found his cock and stroked. He gasped, shuddering at the touch.

"I did?" He choked on his words. "When? I mean--" He gave her a quizzical look when she lifted her head and groaned at the look in her eye.

"The hospital. I heard." She gave him an impish grin.

"Oh God. I've been holding it in so-so long. I've tried so many times to-to tell you. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry," he stumbled and stuttered as her hand tightened around him, sliding up and down his length.

"Shh." She ran her tongue along his lips, moving it down to his neck, licking up to his ear. She sucked on his ear lobe, her hot breath whispering. "I want you." 

"I want you more than I've ever wanted in my life. But Ress, I don't want to hurt you. You must be so exhausted. You have to be careful with your tattoo and your bruises and your cuts." He ticked off the reasons they shouldn't do what they wanted to do.

"Cam." She pushed herself up off the bed, shed her robe and crawled over to him. "Shut up and make love to me. Now!" she demanded as she slithered up his body, being careful of her leg. 

"Make me feel like a woman again." Her murmured plea had him reaching to his bed stand for a condom. He tore the wrapper off with his teeth, quickly slipped it over his cock and reached for her hips.

"You'll hurt yourself trying to stay in this position." He helped her off of him and rolled her to her side so her back faced him.

"Are you wet enough?" he questioned, poised at her entrance.

"Find out for yourself." Reaching down between her thighs, she brought her glistening fingertip up to him for inspection. He stuck his tongue out and licked it off, sucking on her finger. 

"Mm." His cock rested between her cheeks as she pushed back against him. Angling himself upwards, he eased the head into her wet pussy.

"You are wet." He pushed in further, relishing the cocoon of moist warmth.

"I've been wet ever since the jacuzzi. Thinking about you watching me pleasure myself nearly gave me my first orgasm in a year," she confessed, reaching down to rub her clit. He gasped in her ear as her body accepted him to the hilt. Stilling his movements, he wrapped his arm around her middle and stroked the soft skin of her stomach. Her muscles massaged him, a light almost fluttery motion.

"You knew I was there?" he asked, recovering his breath.

"I did. At first I was going to yell at you about it. But the more I thought about it--" She turned her head and kissed his shoulder. "The more I thought about you; the hotter it made me." 

"You naughty little exhibitionist." At that thought he could hold back no longer and withdrew slightly before thrusting into her. 

"I wanted desperately to help you out, right then and there. I wanted to make you realize how beautiful you are." She pulsated around his length as his movements punctuated his words. 

"How special you are to me. To make you come," he growled low in her ear. His goatee tickled the sensitive skin of her neck and she shivered with delight. 

"I will make you come," he promised as he held her gently away from him to look down at their joining. He licked a trail from her shoulder blade up to the nape of her neck, his teeth nipping at the flesh.

"I know. Touch my breast. Make me come," she begged. 

One hand cupped her breast, the thumb brushing against the already hardened nipple, while the other caressed her stomach and moved down. He pushed her hand out of the way, taking over the attention to her clit. Rolling both nipple and clitoris between his fingers, he pinched lightly, slowly easing himself half-way out and then driving home.

"Oh Cam," she moaned, panting. "Faster. Harder."

"I don't want to tax you," his voice muffled in her hair. "But..." Caressa clenched her inner muscles and gripped him. "Ungh, baby. Oh yeah, mm keep squeezing." Her body suddenly stopped moving and she pulled away from him.

"What?" He gritted his teeth again, trying to control the urge to tug her back against him and plunge deeply. His swollen cock demanded release. 

But when he looked into her eyes and saw the pain and frustration evident there, he knew her release was more important right this very moment. He was determined to help her find it, even if it took all night. She deserved his patience. He could wait a while longer. 

Hadn't he waited half a lifetime already? Hadn't he almost lost her twice? He tamped down on his urges and his emotions. He wouldn't think about almosts and what-ifs. She was alive. She was here, in his arms and loved him too. What more could he ask for, really? 

"I want to ride you. I need to be on top. I want your mouth on me," she nearly begged. 

He slipped out of her and helped her turn onto her side. He'd give her anything, anything she needed; except that. Someone had to be the voice of reason. Why'd it have to be him? He grumbled to himself. 

"I don't want to disappoint you." She was pouting at him with a very determined look in her eye. 

"Fuck! As much as I want to see you rise over top of me and claim me..." Her pussy contracted at those words and the possibility. "I really think we need to wait until you are a little more healed." Always the sensible one. 

"You could never disappoint me. Caressa, you are placing a lot of emphasis on orgasming. Some people never have one. It is not the full sum of the parts of pleasure, although it is an added bonus."

She huffed and grumbled, rolling to her back, recovering her breath. "I know it's not. But I don't know. I feel that if I can achieve that, I'll somehow reclaim a missing piece of myself." She ached, but she wasn't about to tell him that. Although knowing Cam, he probably already knew; which was why he was stopping her from going further. He kissed her lips as a tear threatened to spill. He licked at the corner of her eye.

"Don't pout." He thought for a moment as his hands wandered down, his fingertips feathering across the soft, trim, dark curls. She rolled onto her back.

"The only thing you should be riding is my face." He winked and she perked up as his head dipped down and seized her single nipple with his lips, teeth grazing the peak, grinning as her back arched up in response.

"That shouldn't be too strenuous. All you have to do my sweet is lie back and enjoy." He moved down the bed, planted his feet on the floor and gently gripped her hips to bring her down to the edge of the bed. Maybe she'd be willing to finish him off after he finished with her. 

"I hope you don't mind the fur." Giving her a wicked grin, he eased her legs apart and kissed the side of her knee, licking a slow path up to her inner thigh, giving it a slight nip.

"Cam, please please don't tease me. I don't think I can take it." Caressa's breath caught as his tongue lapped the crease of her lips.

"Normally, I would continue to tease you mercilessly. But in this case, since you asked so nicely-" He smiled softly. "-and since you are in no shape for my full prowess," she harrumphed and he chuckled. "I'll be kind-" He paused. "-er." 

***

Caressa rolled her eyes. She needed to come so badly. If this didn't work, she was a hopeless case. She was on the dangerous side of begging Cam to just fuck her and get it over with. But he had already made love to her and she hadn't been able to let go then. 

She was hopeful. Oral pleasure always had worked in the past and there was no reason to believe that it wouldn't work this time. And it was Cam. Cam and his goatee. Damn! She was about to finally experience what she'd secretly wondered about for years. She was giddy with nerves and just a bit wanton. 

She had practically thrown her battered body at him. Have you no shame, Caressa? Are you seriously that touch and sex deprived? This is your best friend! Your best friend that you just made sweet spoonful love to. She whimpered at her own reminder and batted her eyelashes when Cameron quirked his eyebrow at her. How can you be so concerned with having his face down there? Only because that's the most intimate kiss ever! She told herself.

"If I don't come, Cameron. Don't feel bad and don't think it is your fault. Blame it on my broken body, okay?" She sniffled and he lifted his head.

"None of that now," he murmured, moving back up her body to kiss her quiet. "Just close your eyes. Stop focusing on the end result and let me make you feel good. Would it help if I talked to you?"

"Like how? Like dirty?" she questioned. "Or just conversation?" Please be dirty.

"Your choice. I could do either. But to be honest, I've always fantasized about talking dirty to you," he confessed, "as I drive you over the edge." 

Fantasized about talking dirty? Just how long had Cam been into her? He dipped his head back down and wiggled his tongue between her lips.

"Cameron." Her eyes flashed open. "How can you talk. Oh God. Talk to me with your head buried between...ah, um....no words." Caressa nearly leaped out of her skin when he nuzzled his goatee against her mound and rubbed his nose against her hyper-sensitive clitoris. 

He hooked his arms beneath her hips and lifted slightly. When her hands came down to rest on his head in preparation for hair grabbing, his came up and laced with her fingers, drawing them away and down to her sides, keeping them there. 

"No fair," she whimpered, arching her back as his tongue darted between her folds and the pads of his thumbs stroked the palms of her hands. He let her lift their entwined hands and use them as leverage as he drove her higher with just his mouth. His tongue lapping rapidly at her clit as she rode his chin, moaning at the soft, yet rough sensation of his beard.

"Oh God, Cameron." She squeezed her thighs around his head. "Don't." Her chest heaved. "Ever." Her hips rolled. "Fu-ck-ing." The expletive encouraged him to tap out a rhythm with his tongue on the little nub. "Shave," she cried out, willing her body to let go, "Again!" 

He hummed his approval against her center, switching tactics, unlacing his fingers from hers and bringing one of her hands up to her breast to play. Her other hand he brought down to wrap in his hair. He plunged two of his fingers into her wetness, licking circles on the inner skin of her thigh, giving her breath a chance to recover; giving his own breath a chance to recover.

"Careful Caressa, one might think that you've been dreaming of this moment for some time," he half-teased as he slipped a third finger in to join the other two, crooking the longest one up to find her sweet spot. She mewled.

"Maybe even years?" Her thighs held him tighter as her muscles clenched around his fingers. He sucked on her clitoris. Caressa felt the elusive orgasm building and began to worry. He must have felt the tension because he stopped sucking and looked up. She moaned anew seeing the sheen of wetness, her wetness, on his face. He licked his lips.

"When you're more fully healed, I'll give you a full ride on this soft cushioned face," he promised. She shook her head and bit her lip.

"Come on Caressa, show me how good I make you feel," his words encouraged her. 

"I love you. I've loved you since college." His fingers stroked. 

"I've loved you as you promised your love to the wrong man." He feathered kisses across her waistline. She shivered.

"I've loved you as you lay near death." He nuzzled her belly button. 

"I've loved you as your eyes opened and you came back to me." He slid up and kissed each eyelid in turn. "I will always love you." 

He swallowed her panting gasps with his mouth. She sucked on his tongue, savoring her flavor in his mouth. He nipped her bottom lip. "Let me love you."

"Yes," she pleaded, pushing his head back down. 

With renewed fervor, Cam swirled his tongue around her clit as his fingers dove deeper. She thrashed her head against the bed, her body writhing.

And just like that, the last of Caressa's reservations fell away. She felt a flood of emotions as her heart opened and she gave back to the one man who had always been there, patiently waiting for her. She let go and allowed herself to love - and as she did that - something magical happened. 

She felt beautiful and she felt whole as she screamed out his name like a mantra, over and over. Tears streamed down her cheeks and juices flowed from her body into his waiting mouth.

"Cameron," her voice a breathy whisper of need as he removed his fingers and slid up to cradle her trembling body in his arms. 

***

This trip to Lorianna's found Caressa in a bundle of excitement rather than nerves. It had been three weeks and she was ready for her gorgeous tattoo to become a living rainbow of color. Cameron reached his hand over to her as they waited for Lorianna to set up. Cameron and she were officially and exclusively together. But there were still things to work out in her head. 

Every time she looked at her naked body in the mirror, she still heard the criticisms and judgmental words of Rob and some of her former friends about reconstructive surgery. 

"Cameron, do you think I should have had the surgery?" She turned to him and caught him gazing upon her half naked body. 




Lavender and Love



"What surgery Ressa?" He reached out and brushed his hand against her bare breast, grinning at her bodily response to his touch. 

"Reconstructive surgery." She batted his hand away, suddenly bashful and uncomfortable. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her lips softly. "I mean, all of my treatments are over and if I wanted to, I could. I'm not sure how that would work with a tattoo now, but..."

"Why are you asking now?" he asked. After their night together, they had discussed her insecurities. 

Cameron had voiced his wish that he could help her get past them. He had told her he hoped the tattoo would give her more courage to open herself to healing. But the self consciousness remained and she knew it might always be there under the surface.

"I don't know," she said quietly, "it's been on my mind." She sighed as Rob's words and her own self doubts began to creep in again.

"How about this? What made you decide against the surgery, besides the obviousness of treatment?" he questioned.

"Oh. Well, I didn't like all of the emphasis that Rob was putting on my breasts at the time. I also have seen women who have had the surgery. Some of them had a long recovery. Some of them the surgery didn't turn out as natural looking as they wanted it to. Some of them ended up infected. I didn't like the thought of something foreign being in my body, permanently," she rambled.

"But why now?" he pressed.

"You aren't like Rob." She shrugged.

"I sure hope I don't resemble or act like Rob in anyway. But, wait. What do I have to do with this?" His brow furrowed and he became suddenly defensive and squeezed her a bit too tightly. She yelped.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I hate when we talk about him."

"Um, well." Caressa blushed and looked away. "I just mean that if you and I were together back then and you had thought it was a good idea, I might have had it done."

"Oh Ressa. Why are you even talking this way? You are beautiful and perfect to me just as you are. You are just nervous about completing the circle. Are you worried about the needle again? I'll hold you." He touched his forehead to hers. "You know, tattoos might be permanent, but there are laser surgery options if you ever decide you hate it." 

"Am I that transparent?" She smiled shyly. 

"To everyone else? I couldn't say. To me? I can read your mind, baby," he chuckled.

"Oh Cam, stop teasing." She half-heartedly pushed him away.

***

"All right honey. Up on the table," Lorianna directed in a swirl of tie-dye skirts as she patted the table. Caressa hopped up and grinned.

"No more crutches?" Lorianna noted as she lit a few fat pillar candles.

"Nope. Most everything else is healed too." Caressa beamed at the woman who was quickly becoming her friend.

"And your heart, hon?" Lorianna asked, giving a pointed look to Cameron who ducked his head out of the room, with a "be right back."

"Did Cam tell you about my relationship woes?" Caressa frowned as Lorianna brought the tattooing supplies over to the table.

"No. I'm in-tune, remember? Cameron wouldn't betray your trust like that," Lorianna assured her.

"Did you see this - us - being together?" Caressa was curious. If Lorianna had seen them together, could that have been the impetus for Cameron finally confessing his feelings? She wasn't sure she liked that idea.

"I didn't see you specifically," Lorianna began. "What I did see was a woman from his past. But that is neither here, nor there. The reason Cameron came to me in the first place was for some guidance on how to forget someone." She looked at Caressa to gauge her reaction before continuing. Caressa nodded. 

"All he told me was your name. I thought the woman in the vision was an ex-girlfriend who was coming into his life to heal his heart amidst your decision to marry that asshole, to put it bluntly. I actually didn't realize you were the woman from the vision until the night of the tattoo session when he introduced you as Caressa," Lorianna told her honestly. 

"It all came together in that moment. The woman he was trying to forget was the same woman who would heal his heart."

"I know it's hard, but you need to stop questioning his motives. The universe has given you a gift. I suggest being open and willing to accept it," she suggested. "Cameron is a rare breed. I think you know that, though. Don't you?" Lorianna asked.

Caressa nodded and mouthed "thank-you" to Lorianna as Cameron returned with a bottle of water. 

"I thought you might need a drink again." He handed her the bottle.

"Thanks. Hold my hand?"

"Of course." He took her hand in his and let her squeeze as tightly as she wanted. She was brave and only winced a few times.

***

Caressa once more stood in the mirror, but this time she wasn't alone. Cameron stood at her side. His hand tenderly traced the outline of the tattoo, careful not to touch the fresh color.

"It's stunning and I feel different, somehow. I feel lighter and not so afraid," Caressa said softly, unable to tear her eyes from the artistic creation before her. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"That's the power of healing through love," Lorianna whispered, before gathering her supplies and quietly leaving the couple alone. She could tell when she was an intrusion.

"She's gifted, isn't she?" Cam acknowledged.

"Yes. I think I'm ready to come out of hiding and face the world." Caressa took his hand and placed it over her heart and then put hers on his. "I'm ready to love."

"I love you too." His lips brushed lightly across the flower blooming on her breast before he secured the bandage over it and took her into his arms. Caressa melted into him as he lifted her gently and eased her back onto the massage table, covering her body with his. He brought her hands up to his lips and kissed them, gazing lovingly into her eyes.

"Where did Lorianna go?" Caressa asked.

"Far far away." He grinned as he caught her lips in his and tugged gently, moving his hands up to explore her soft curves. When his thumb skimmed her side, she giggled.

"Too soon for a ride?" He wiggled his brow suggestively.

"Here? Now? In someone's tattoo studio?" Caressa wore a shocked expression, which turned into a whimper as his lips brushed against hers. 

"What better place to lose your inhibitions?" Cam challenged, dipping his head down to seize her nipple between his lips before moving over to the other side. He placed a feather light kiss on the outline of the tattoo and she trembled.

"You're wicked Cam." She arched and lifted her legs so he could remove her shorts, tossing them onto the chair to join her shirt.

"Have you tried out any of that lavender stuff that Lorianna gave you?" he asked her.

"Not yet. Why?" 

"I know I can't touch the tattoo area, but would you like a little massage?" Not waiting for her answer, he picked up a bottle of lavender massage oil off the counter. He started at her toes, eliciting a gasp and giggles.

"Cam, I'm not one to turn down a massage, but I'm too sensitive right now from the adrenaline of the tattoo," she explained. "When I settle down a little, I'd love one. Maybe at home; yours or mine, where I can be nice and comfortable."

"Lavender is supposed to be soothing. It could help calm the adrenaline down. Besides, it seems a waste of a perfectly good massage table," he coaxed.

"True. But, I think I need to work the adrenaline out more than I need to calm it down. It's a great idea. But, I'd rather be on fluffy bed where I don't have to feel like someone will walk in on us any minute." She smiled up at him.

"How about we use some of that adrenaline to our advantage then?" He winked.

"If part of that advantage involves making me come, yes please!" She grinned.

"I aim to make you come with more than just my mouth this time," he vowed.

"That's a hefty task," Caressa teased as he slid her panties aside to cup her pussy with the palm of his hand.

"It's a promise." His fingers plunged into her wet heat as his thumb rubbed her clit. She wiggled under him.

"Too." Gasp "Sensitive!" Biting her lip and pushing at him, Caressa squirmed out from beneath him and unzipped his jeans, reaching in and freeing his cock, which sprung up. He watched as she shimmied up his body.

"And this is my promise." She slid her panties aside and eased down onto his length, giving a little wiggle. "Good thing I'm back on the pill," she grinned.

"I'm wicked?" Cameron growled, moaning as her heat enveloped him. 

"Fuck me, Cameron," she demanded. "Say those dirty words you've always wanted to say to me." She bounced on his cock.

"I love you." He laughed when she glared at him. "Oh okay. Show my cock what it's been missing all of these years, you naughty girl." He crossed his arms and folded them under his head to enjoy the most erotic vision of his fantasies. 

Satisfied, Caressa undulated in circles around his cock, squeezed her eyes shut, leaned forward, and worked her clit against the friction of his jeans. Cam gripped her hips with his hands and thrust upward.

"Youaresuchabadinfluence." Caressa milked his cock.

"You love it," he grunted.

"I love you," she screamed out on a wave of climactic pleasure as Cameron joined her, gushing inside her pulsating walls and pulling her trembling body onto his. She heaved a blissful sigh, snuggling against him.

"Mm, I love you too Caressa, always have. Let's leave this tattoo studio so I can show you just how much." He winked and scooped her off the table, throwing a blanket over her nakedness, slamming open the door, and strutting past a startled, but smiling Lorianna.

"Ah, the healing powers of Lavender and Love," Lorianna mused to herself as she doused the candles and tidied up the room, flicking out the light as she peeked out the window at the two souls in love, kissing and stumbling their way to the car.

~~~~

I'd like to thank Liquid Matthew, Juan Vato, and H.I.S. for their wonderful feedback and editing suggestions. You guys/girl are all awesome! I also have to thank my friends who read the story and supported me on this emotional journey. 

Thank you estragon for believing in this story enough to copy edit it for me. It was a delightful and welcome surprise!