5 comments/ 11697 views/ 7 favorites Fully Sighted By: victoriawhita Full Rights Reserved 2009 Thank you to Tim who was the inspiration for this story. * Victoria continued to drive even though she had already been on the road for hours. At times tears blurred her vision and at other times the winter air outside obscured the windshield until she turned on the defrost. She knew she would have to stop soon. She waited until her gas tank hit E and pulled over at a deserted looking gas station. She knew he wouldn't follow this far or have any idea which direction she was headed but she couldn't help but glance around looking for his all-too-familiar face. She paid for gas and food with cash and sped off again, willing the miles to pass faster, for the memories to stop their nightmarish flashes through her mind as she put distance between her and the man who started it. She didn't want to be easily found and took turns away from any large city, wanting to be lost where no one would find her. She didn't look at any map but felt herself becoming safer as the number of houses diminished and the number of barns increased. She would need a place to sleep that night and guessed she could drive until six or seven before giving in to her exhaustion. She found herself winding up into the mountains, where the snow was blowing around the car, and piling up on the side of the roads. Her fear prevented her brain from thinking logically about the effect of snow and wind on the roads until she felt her rear tires swerve and slide her car four to five feet across to the opposite side of the road. Her hands started shaking as she became aware of her surroundings and she rushed to drive onto her side of the road. She was grateful no one came. She slowed down and looked out for a hotel. The first lights she saw were not a hotel but a diner. She pulled in and closed her eyes to rest a few moments before zipping up her coat and heading into the warmth. The diner was empty until the bell above the door rang and a waitress walked out, popping her chewing gum. Victoria chose a booth near the door and ordered some comfort food that she wouldn't usually indulge in. Yes, a big juicy burger first, then she'd ask for help finding a hotel. It wasn't that she planned on staying hidden forever. She knew Philip would stop caring when he found another attractive woman he could manipulate, but until that happened she wanted to be unreachable. She would rather suffer the inconvenience of disappearing for a while, than risk him showing up at her door and exerting his anger on her face. What must be in Philip's past that he would act so deceptively? She felt sorry for him for a moment, wondering who had manipulated and hurt him that he couldn't enjoy a relationship for the beautiful thing it was, without feeling the need to control it. The wondering didn't last long. Victoria was too innocent, too trusting, awarding good motives to everyone. She was an idealist, and imagined that with love, compassion and attention most people would reciprocate the love she put out into her world. It was easy to let her thoughts drift because she was the only one in the diner, her meal was taking a while to cook and she noticed the snow piling higher and higher. The quiet was broken by the sound of the bell above the front door ringing as the door opened. The wind had picked up since she'd been sitting there and she pulled her sweater closer around her. A handsome man walked in, she thought it strange he wore dark glasses after dark. His pleasant voice called for Dina who must be the waitress she had met earlier. **************** Tim pushed on the door of the diner, not sure it would open because he wouldn't be surprised if Dina had closed up early. He should probably eat quickly and get back before the snow made it difficult to walk. After the bells at the door finished jingling he called out to Dina to get a sense of who was in the diner. He didn't hear any sounds so he walked the three steps to 'his' booth, slid his hand along the table edge, felt the adjoining seat. He shrugged off his coat, pushed it ahead of himself into the seat, and sat down. Dina still hadn't made an appearance and he rubbed his hands to warm them. Instead of hearing steps and a door slamming from the back, his hearing tuned in to a light breathing sound. He had thought he was alone. Then the breathing turned into a giggle and he was surprised at how close the other person was. Obviously a female. This was awkward. Had he really sat down at a booth where someone else was sitting? Neither one of them knew what to say. He turned towards the voice completely embarrassed. Tim extended his hand towards where the giggle had originated from. He found it easier to initiate the handshake quickly so the other person could find his hand easily. "Unless I'm hearing voices in my head I think I have just sat in a booth that was already occupied. I'm Tim." "Yes, I think I was here first. I'm Victoria." she grasped his hand and enjoyed the firm handshake. "I am so embarrassed. This wasn't the first mistake I've made because of my blindness and I'm sure it won't be the last, but I am so sorry." Oh, that explained the strange mistake and the dark glasses. She hadn't seen any clumsiness or confusion in his actions which might have served as a cue. "And here I thought you sat down to flirt with me." She laughed trying to make him feel comfortable, and his light laughter joined hers. As the laughter ended the back door opened and Dina walked in carrying Victoria's lunch. "Tim, I didn't hear you come in. I hope you haven't been waiting long. Oh, I didn't realize the two of you were together. Are you going to introduce me to your friend?" Tim and Victoria laughed again. "Yes, of course. Dina this is Victoria. Victoria this is Dina. The sign outside says this is the "Zoriah Diner" but it's really "Dina's Diner". This is her place." Dina's curly gray hair was held loosely in a bun in the back of her head with a plastic rose emerging from her curls. "Nice to meet you, Dina. This looks like a great place, I'm really looking forward to that delicious looking burger." "It's nice to meet you, and I will give you ten percent off your bill, since you're here with Tim." Dina was extravagant in her friendships. "That is very generous, but if the burger tastes as good as it looks, I'll happily pay full price. Thank you." "Well, I hope you enjoy it, let me know if I can get you anything else. The peach pie was made fresh this morning. Now Tim, I didn't expect you this evening with all the snow out." "I had no idea how thick it was until I was already out my door so I figured I'd just continue on my way. I needed to get out of the house. Since I'm here could I get your vegetable beef soup to help me warm up?" "Of course. Well, you be careful and take care of your beautiful friend here as well." Dina walked away and again awkwardness increased. "I think I've embarrassed myself enough today, and you came to eat alone so I'm going to find another place to sit." Tim started sliding towards the end of the booth as he finished his sentence. Victoria surprised herself as she quietly spoke the words, "I didn't come here to eat alone." "No? Well, then I better leave quickly in case some jealous boyfriend comes in and finds me here." Victoria felt sad again at the reminder of her boyfriend and why she was here anyway. Maybe she should send him away because if Philip did come in he would act out every stereotype of the jealous boyfriend in the book. She had forgotten Philip for brief moments of feeling awkward. "No, please don't. I meant that you can stay if you want. I don't have anyone coming and I would enjoy the company." "If that's said in all honesty then I will stay because I'd much prefer a dinner with you." He meant what he said. Tim slid back into the booth but there was still an awkward pause. He heard the music playing in the background. He wondered what conversation he could have with a woman he didn't even know, and felt himself growing nervous. To break the uncomfortable silence, Victoria decided to be brave and ask a question. "From what you were saying to Dina, I gather you live close enough to walk here. Is that right?" Tim nodded his head while shrugging off his jacket. "That's right. I have a place near here. It's close to the diner, and close to the school where I teach music. I get around pretty easily in this area. I know where everything is, and everybody knows me." He liked the sound of her voice, and wanted to hear more of it, so he asked her a question in return. "I gather the snow's pretty bad, huh? I shudder to think about you driving in this, but you must to get here." Surprisingly as they talked about the snowstorm, and touched a little on his blindness the awkwardness evaporated, replaced by a comfortable easy. If he had to describe this stranger he would use the words, kind, educated, nervous, and entrancing. Her voice and smell was like a song. As she finished her dinner, knowing a little more about the stranger she sat with, Victoria realized that there would be a few people who would worry about her if she just disappeared. She reached in her purse for her cell phone and purse for her credit card. She shuffled around and couldn't find either one. The cash she had used earlier was cash from her jeans pocket that she grabbed from her apartment before leaving. She checked the pockets of her jacket and jeans. She started getting frantic as she was hours from home. She said to Tim, "I'm sorry I can't seem to find my cell phone, I'm going to empty out my purse here to try to find it." "Sure, go ahead." Tim said as he finished sipping his soup. Even with the contents of her purse emptied on the table, and each side pocket unzipped, she realized it wasn't there. Only when she hadn't taken it out and she knew it wasn't in her car or at home did it sink in that the only place it could be is in Philip's hands. Tim hadn't interrupted Victoria's searching but continued to eat. Her movements became jerkier and her breathing increased. He could tell that something was urgently wrong. He wanted to ask if she needed help because he was enjoying her company. Her voice wound in and out of him almost like a song. He wondered if she felt like she sounded. Victoria excused herself from the table to use the pay phone. He heard her dial and put in coins but couldn't hear what she was saying. He decided to pay his bill and called out to Dina, as he walked to the register. Now he was closer and could hear her voice. "Joan, I'm not joking. I'm in a small town hours from you but I don't want to tell you where I am......I can't really tell you that....I just think the less you know about it the better....Well, I can tell you it is because of Philip...No, I won't tell you what else, he knows where you live and he might come and it will be better for you if you can honestly say you don't know there even is a problem or where I am....Yes....Yes...Well I haven't found a place yet....It's snowing outside so I can't go farther anyway....I do have one favor. I don't have my credit card or cell phone. Could you go to my apartment and find the paperwork on my credit card, Oh and please look up the number for Verizon so I can call them to tell them....I'll have to call you as soon as I can...Yes, probably tomorrow, does that give you enough time...I know it won't be long...Don't tell anyone....That's true...You could just tell them I had a last minute trip, yeah, a ski trip invitation and I just left and you're watering my plants...Please Joan...I'll tell you more later....Yes, I'd appreciate your prayers....Bye." Tim wished he could see her, to know what she was feeling, to see if her eyes would give him any more clues to what was going on in her life. He wondered who Philip was and what he had done. He returned to the booth, hoping she would return so he could help her. She could hear her footsteps toward the register and she paid for her bill. So she must have some cash if she could pay her bill. "Dina, I'm looking for a hotel for the night, can you recommend any place cheap?" Her voice was attempting to be strong but had a slight quaver. "Oh sweetheart, we almost never get visitors out this way. I don't know where you'd stay nearby. Of course Tusca is another hour along and they have a few Bed and Breakfasts. Should I draw you a map?" "Yes, that would be wonderful." Victoria tried to pay attention as Dina explained the roads and turns, but had no faith in herself that she could find her way in the increasingly snow-covered unfamiliar area. She returned to the booth. She loaded the things back in her purse. "Well Tim, I appreciated our chat and not eating alone, but I think I should go on before the snow gets thicker." "Are you sure you should be driving in the snow?" "No, I'm not sure. I never drive in snow, but I'd rather start now." Victoria sense the compassion in Tim's voice and it made her voice quiver as she spoke. "Victoria, I'd love to help, if you'd let me." He didn't know what he was offering exactly but he felt his heart strings being pulled strongly towards this woman and didn't want her to leave so helpless and lost. "Oh, that's fine Tim, I'll drive slowly and things will look better tomorrow." She needed to get away before she started crying as the overwhelming feeling started taking over as she looked out into the darkness with the snow almost glowing from the diner lights. "Thanks for chatting. Bye." So, that was it. She was leaving and he couldn't help. He heard the sound of a shuffling coat and said, "Bye Victoria" he said. A beautiful woman in and out of his life again, with only one conversation and one handshake. It wasn't enough for him. He needed more out of life and more of her. He called out to Dina, who came over to his booth. "Has she pulled out yet?" Dina shuffled to the window. "No, she leaned forward with her head on her steering wheel." "Can you tell what she's doing?" Tim was even more curious now. "Hmm, hard to tell...okay she's lifting her head. Oh no, Tim, she's crying. She's practically sobbing there in the freezing car. Oh, poor dear." Dina sounded just like a caring mother. "Did you hear what she was saying on the phone?" Tim asked. "No, did you?" "Yes, parts of it, I think she's in trouble. Tell me where her car is in proximity to the door Dina, so I can go talk to her." Tim's heart was going out to Victoria who could only be strong long enough to make it to her car without breaking down. He was sure her day had turned out much different than she had planned. "Well, let's see." She moved toward the window so she could describe it better. "Go out the door and maybe take two steps to get off the front sidewalk so you're in the parking lot. There are no other cars there but the snow is quite high. Turn to your left, and maybe twenty steps, maybe, and you'll get to the front of the car." Tim was putting on his coat as he listened to her directions. He thanked Dina and easily found his way to the door, but then slowly made his way to the car. Victoria heard a tap on the window and felt so embarrassed as she saw Tim's face so close to hers separated by the glass. She hadn't realized anyone knew she was still in the parking lot. She lowered the window. They greeted each other cautiously. "Victoria I hate to know you're sitting here crying. I could tell something was really bothering you as we talked and as you searched your purse. I really would like to help. I'd hate to hear about something happening to you as you drove another hour in this snow. I have an extra room in my house and want to offer it to you." She needed a friend and he wanted to help. "Oh Tim, that's sweet but it would be an inconvenience and I have all my things in the car, and should just get going." He could hear that she was wiping the tears from her cheeks as she spoke. "I live very close to here. We can leave your car here and carry a few things to the house. I could give you your own key so you can leave any time. I'm a decent guy, you can trust me." "I don't know Tim. I'm not really trusting of guys right now." "At least come back into the diner, and let Dina give me a character reference?" That sounded reasonable and Victoria agreed. She put her hand on his elbow as they walked which he interpreted as a good sign. Once inside Tim explained the offer to Dina, and asked her if she felt comfortable recommending that Victoria stay with him for the night. Dina leaned in and hugged Victoria and spoke, "Victoria Dear, I can promise that Tim will be a gentleman, and you are blessed to have such a great offer from such a great guy. He's not a womanizer. He's a kind man with a lot to offer." Victoria started feeling more comfortable right away and with that came a yawn. She knew that the snow combined with her emotions, and tiredness was not a combination for a drive, so she agreed to stay with Tim. Victoria had known men like her father that were wonderful. She had known men who were okay, but not for her, but she had also known men like Philip, who looked good on the outside but had a streak of evilness in them, that wasn't often visible, but not buried deeply. She wondered what kind of man Tim was. From first impressions he seemed wonderful. He could carry a conversation, he was handsome, he was thoughtful, and he hadn't imposed but offered his home. He seemed to have potential to be wonderful, but she had thought that about Philip too. She would take him up on his offer but keep her eyes open for the red flags she'd missed with Philip. They dropped her bags at the entrance. She glanced back over her shoulder confirming to herself that she knew the way back to the car and diner if she needed to leave suddenly. The house was small but warm. He showed her around the house briefly, and talked about the weather, safe topics. The bed in the room that would be hers wasn't made up and she wasn't sure how to approach the subject. He led her back to the living room. She would never know he was blind to see him around his own home. He encouraged her to sit and relax in front of the fire. He walked away to get her a hot drink, and then she watched as he got linens from a closet and went into her room. He was a thoughtful host. She couldn't even remember the last time Philip had worried over her comfort. She laid her head on the back of the couch. Tim joined her on the couch with his own hot drink. "I'm so thankful to be here and not out on the road right now. It seems I'm the one who is embarrassed now." "Well, then we're even. No reason for anything to be awkward." He responded. He wanted to ask a whole lot more, but it could wait. "Thank you." She still felt awkwardness but each minute seemed to ease it. "You're welcome." They sat quietly for a while. The situation was a strange one for both of them and shallow conversation didn't seem appropriate but Victoria wasn't awake enough for a deep conversation. "Do you like piano music?" Tim quietly questioned. "I love it, but it might put me to sleep." She assumed he would rise and put on some music on his sophisticated sound system, but instead he turned to the other wall, where she hadn't even noticed a piano. He sat and started playing for her. Tim was happier than he should have been at her agreeing to stay with him. Here was an opportunity to help her and maybe even get to know her better. First he played some songs she might recognize. Then he thought about the lovely, lonely woman in his own room, in his own house where he had found refuge. He hoped she would find some too. The music turned sadder and Tim improvised some chords and music that reminded him of her. He often got lost in his music, and tried to bring himself back to her. Fully Sighted He turned to her; but didn't hear her stirring. He didn't know if she was sleeping but didn't want to disturb so he stopped playing. He moved her bags to her room, and turned down the sheets. He quietly stepped to the couch and carefully ran his hand down the back of the couch reaching her shoulder gently so she wouldn't have any reason to feel awkward. She felt his touch. She didn't know if she had fallen asleep and was just awakening or if she had just been lost in the beautiful music that reached into her and around her. She smiled at Tim and wished he could see her smile which she thought had been lost. His face was close and she wanted to raise her hand to touch his face. He asked if she would like to go to bed, and she supposed it was the best idea. He pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and gave them to her for her to come and go as she pleased. Tim encouraged her to try the keys herself and lock the front door for the night so she would know they worked. He allowed her to use the bathroom first and didn't leave his room until her bedroom door was closed and locked for the night. She felt safe but didn't fully trust this stranger yet and placed the keys under her pillow. She wondered where Philip was and what the future held, but she fell asleep feeling very protected. Tim felt relief that she was in the bedroom, asleep, and not out in the cold. Now he could relax. He remembered the words they'd spoken to each other before he was aware that she was in any trouble. Then things changed and he remembered the words spoken through tears and how the voice had changed over the phone. Her voice changed again and he remembered the few words spoken with Dina, and how the voice had relaxed in his presence, in his house. He always noticed a woman's voice as the first thing. She had the pitch, rhythm and phrasing that made him almost forget he was listening to words but it sounded more like music. He had enjoyed her giggle like the percussion to his music. Her speech was also educated, intelligent and perceptive. With some women he noticed the timbre of the voice; with others he enjoyed hearing clear intelligent speech. Victoria had them both together and Tim was a goner. The exclusion from society that had been forced on him in his elementary and high schools years by attending a school for the blind was now what he chose for himself. He had tried the real world and enjoyed it a great deal for many years, but the burdens, the rejections, the whispered voices, the imaginations in his head of who was staring at him, the women who couldn't see him as whole had burdened him so he slowly withdrew from his shared city apartment, to a small house in a suburban town, and now to this remote house. He had chosen it for its remoteness but also the bus route that went past and took him to the blind school. Here it was him, his to and fro familiar steps, a few safe individuals in his small town of Zoriah, and his teaching a few classes in music. He felt his Braille watch realizing it was too early to go to bed, but wanting to remember how he felt playing for her tonight. He preferred the piano, but the keyboard was more multi-functional. He plugged the headphones into his keyboard which was attached to his user-friendly recording computer. He recorded as he played and refined the melody that he had started creating earlier. It was a song of the tempo and cadence of her voice and how he felt sitting with her in the diner, and how he felt now knowing he was keeping her safe. ******************** Before even opening his eyes the next morning, he remembered Victoria and her tears. As he headed towards the front door to check the depth of snow he hoped it had increased in the night so he might request she stay with him longer. It was deep, and surely would be unsafe for travel. He checked the weather report on his computer that read the text to him in a monotone voice so unlike Victoria's, which confirmed the freezing temperatures and snow. He couldn't help but smile. He hadn't heard any movement and quietly went about his routine. He made a big breakfast, and she still wasn't awake so he ate by himself. He called the blind school where he taught classes to confirm that his classes were cancelled, and decided to work on his other job taking commissions to write songs. He was working on a complicated song now for the Fireproof movie, and it was taking longer than usual. He sat at the keyboard again, but wanted to listen for Victoria so he slid the ear piece away from his left ear. He listened back over what he had already written for them, and was mostly pleased with how it sounded. He placed his fingers on the cold keys, and waited for the inspiration that sometimes came quickly, sometimes slowly. His thoughts turned easily to Victoria and the song he was writing for her, the song that sounded like her voice. She must have needed a good night's sleep desperately, to be sleeping in so late in an unfamiliar bed. He hit record as his fingers moved easily thinking of her. As he brought the stanza to an end he realized that he liked what he had written but it was all wrong for his paid job. He saved it in the folder with the song from last night and returned again to his work. He forced himself to replay the song he needed to complete for his work, not just listening this time and the song moved on and he captured the next stage as he immersed himself in his work. He turned towards the slow creak of a door opening, and smiled. The habits that he'd learned in school to follow cues that made sighted people more comfortable came easily. He had trouble being patient waiting to hear her voice again. "Victoria, Good Morning." "Good Morning Tim," She said as her head cleared, and she remembered what had brought her here. She looked at her watch and was flabbergasted that she had slept past ten. Tim took the head phones off. "Victoria, I'll cook you breakfast while you're in the bathroom." Victoria watched as he moved across the room, the ease and speed hid any sign that Tim's blindness was a disability for him. "Oh, I don't want to be any trouble, I really should be getting on my way." "You are no trouble, I needed a break anyway. We'll talk about the weather when you come out." He heard her move to the bathroom, then back to her room while he cooked, and waited. She moved slowly and he wished he could see her face and know what she looked like and what she was thinking. He enjoyed a mid morning snack while she breakfasted. The weather was of course the first issue that arose. Tim explained the weather forecast, his cancelled work, and after Victoria protested her hesitancy to invade any longer, Tim persuaded her to postpone for one day as long as she wouldn't be a bother. Tim wondered why she worried so much about being a 'bother'. She seemed to care a lot what others thought. She insisted on doing dishes, so Tim allowed her to wash and he put things away. They talked easily about their lives and with a hot tea in their hands they settled into the living room to chat some more. Victoria complimented him again on his piano playing, and learned that he wrote music as a job as well as for himself. "So, what you played last night was your own work?" Victoria questioned. "Some of it. The first stuff was probably songs you recognized but then I shared some of my music, and also was just creating as I went too." "Wow Tim." He impressed her. "Who influenced you to become a musician?" He spoke about his father's musical talents, and how he ensured that he took music classes every year at his school for the blind. His music teachers had picked him out for special tutoring to go beyond the other students when they saw his interest. His father had encouraged and loved him, but hadn't always known how to be the most helpful since his father was sighted. They talked and talked. It was mostly questions and responses about their families. It seemed a safe topic to start and they talked easily. Tim tried to ask more about her recent past wanting to get a clue to her current distress but she only spoke of sunny incidents. Tim talked about his students, classes, and challenges at school. Victoria spoke of enjoying her job in sales, and her anecdotes of clients made him laugh. Time passed quickly and Victoria felt herself hoping the bad weather would remain so she could stay her safe with Tim for longer. "Well, the lunch hour has come and gone, but even with your late lunch you must be hungry again. Can I get you something? Tim offered. Victoria herself feeling guilty again for invading on someone else's space. She forced herself to ask, "Are you sure the weather hasn't cleared up? I feel guilty staying here even longer." "The weather hasn't cleared up and I'm sure the roads aren't clear either." "I could try." "I won't hear of you risking your life on snowy roads and insist. Besides I'm enjoying the day with you much more than I would on my own." "If you're sure I'm not putting you out." "I'm more than sure." **************** They shared soup for a late afternoon lunch and Tim found some hot chocolate. Victoria felt relaxed. Was it Tim? His home? The snow? Was it just that she was far from Philip? Or was it more about Tim? They easily settled again into conversing on many topics. Personal topics started surfacing but both Tim and Victoria treaded carefully. Tim felt himself caught up in her voice rhythm that missed bits and pieces of what she was saying. He forced himself to focus on his words as he didn't want to miss anything. "You've got some fancy equipment around the room, is that for creating your music?" Victoria questioned. "Yes, most of it is for me to mix, record and enjoy music. Some of it is for emailing and internet and I have a magnifier." "I'd love to see how it works." Victoria hinted. Tim stood to move towards the keyboard and computer, "I'm happy to show you." "Really? That would be such a treat." Tim sat down, "Each year the technology improves and being on staff at the school keeps me in tune to all the advances. The best part is learning about the new programs before buying them for myself." The bench Tim sat on was like a piano bench and was made for one person to move around comfortably but could also fit two people so he invited her to sit down. He thought he should suggest a chair, but his instinct was to have her as close as she felt comfortable with. She sat down naturally on the bench and they both remained apart awkwardly at first as he explained the different gadgets and how he recorded music. He asked if she wanted to try which she was excited about and they started touching naturally as their forearms, fingertips, hips and shoulders rubbed accidentally. Victoria played chopsticks on the keyboard and recorded it as he taught her. As she went to save it and name her original composition she saw the names of the other songs. "Why do you have a song called Victoria?" She asked because she thought it a coincidence not because she thought it referred to her. "Hmmm, I forgot that you'd be seeing that. My secret is out. Ummm. Well. Last night when I was playing for you I got a tune for a new song, and after you went to bed I worked with it some more and recorded it so I could remember it." "Oh okay. That makes sense. But why is it named Victoria?" She was probing deeper now. Tim struggled again with his words. He didn't know how honest he should be and if it would endear him to Victoria or push him away to hear the truth, "Ummm, well, it's like this, ahhhhh, you inspired the song, so it should be named after you." Victoria was also now a little nervous. Was this strange or just very sweet? Philip had characteristics that seemed sweet but turned out strange, on which side of the line did Tim fall? Victoria giggled nervously as she looked again at Tim taking in his whole being, "Can I hear it?" There was an awkward pause but Tim tried hard not to hum and haw this time. He could feel Victoria's breath on his neck and knew she was close and facing him. "I could play the recording or I could just play it for you from what I remember. It's very rough, and incomplete." "I'd be honored if you'd play it for me. I think I fell asleep last night when you played for me so I missed the premiere performance." Tim moved his hands across the keys finding his hand position. Victoria's gaze must have moved to his hands for he didn't feel her breath. He was less distracted this way. He knew it would sound better on the piano but didn't want to move away from Victoria. Victoria was silent as Tim's hands moved easily over the keys. She couldn't believe someone wrote a song for her. Well, not for her, but inspired by her. It was a beautiful song. Did he 'see' her as beautiful? She felt she should probably move away to give his hands room to move but wanted to move closer to him. She slid her hand back towards the back of the bench on the side where Tim sat and as her fingers gripped the seat her hand rested against his jeans. Another point of physical contact drawing them closer. Tim played her song, the part he had created last night, the part from this morning and let his fingers wander over the keys as he thought over their day, their talking, their laughing, her voice and now her touch. It made song writing easy. He brought the song to an awkward end for he hadn't finished it yet. He felt Victoria move closer and her hand on the seat slide farther down. Her head must have fallen forward because he couldn't feel her breath but could feel what must be her forehead resting on his shoulder. Her voice was choked with unshed tears, "What does that song have to do with me?" Women were confusing. He wished again to see what she looked like and what her face showed of her feelings. He didn't want to say the wrong thing, and everything felt wrong right now. "Victoria, that song is a reflection of how I hear your voice, how I think of you. Beautiful, soft, wounded...strong, fun, interesting, rhythmic..." The tears that she was holding back now flowed freely as Victoria heard those words. Philips had never said words like that to her. He had told her she was sexy and that they looked good together. She realized she was crying on a stranger's shoulder and so stood up and tried to apologize. She felt like an emotionally unstable woman invading on this kind stranger, and was embarrassed. She backed away from him, not sure where to turn. He shifted his body so he was facing her. His voice was gentle as he spoke, "I overheard a little of your phone conversation and I know you're here because of some trouble. Can you tell me about it? I'm a good listener" She was still crying and didn't answer. She looked around thinking to maybe drive away to save this embarrassment or hide in her room. She watched him, his face was troubled; he almost looked like he would cry. "The guy Philip you were talking about on the phone, maybe he's a boyfriend, and you could call him for help?" His feeling of helplessness grew. "NO!" Her voice came out as an angry yell. She didn't know what to say, and how to say it and who to trust. Her 'boyfriend picker' had been way off when she had picked Philip, and her confidence in herself was shaken. She moved toward her room, but then a few steps back to Tim, then a few steps back. She needed to clear her head; she grabbed her coat and walked to the front door and opened it, and stepped out, closing it behind her. The freezing temperatures brought her abruptly out of her confusion. Tim wasn't like Philip. There were many good men in the world. Tim had the opportunity to make a move on her, and hadn't done that. Philip noticed her sexuality, and complimented her by noticing her looks and curves. He drew attention to her more when they were around other people he wanted to impress. Especially people at work, he loved when she stopped by his work. She wondered what the people at work thought about him. How could they be fooled by his shallowness and ineptitude? Tim felt so lost. He could easily find his way to the door but is that what she wanted? Is that what she needed? He hadn't felt that she was suicidal or emotionally disordered, just in pain and lonely. He decided to wait until she came back in on her own. She would be cold when she came in, and she probably wouldn't accept a hug, but she'd probably accept a hot tea, and appreciate the warm temperature. He moved to turn up the heater, and started the water boiling. Here she was standing outside in the cold, running from Tim, like she'd run from Philip. But she'd run from Philip for a reason, in fact she should have run sooner. Tim, Yes, Tim was the opposite of Philip, he had cared for her though there was no one around. He cared for her even though they weren't having sex. He said he wanted to listen even though she was acting irrationally. He didn't even know what she looked like, and he seemed to like her. She inspired a song in an amazing man who was a kind, sweet, handsome, amazing musician. She belonged inside with him, not out here in the cold. She turned the door handle and peeked in. He was standing in the kitchen pouring from the kettle. "I know I embarrassed myself. Can I come back in?" "Of course! I was worried about you out there. There's no reason to be embarrassed." He put down the kettle and fidgeted with the steeping tea bag. "I've got some hot tea for you...If you want." She moved towards him, "I want something else first." "Sure. What can I get for you? She arrived at his side, "How about a hug?" Their arms naturally encircled each other. A hug was just what the doctor ordered and she started crying again, but this time not as hard or deep. She felt good in his arms. He no longer felt helpless; she had turned to him, not just for her physical needs but now for a listening ear and it made him feel needed As her crying eased Tim reached for the drawer with the napkins and slipped one in her hand. They pulled away from each other and walked to the couch with the tea. It was a big unlady-like blow into the napkin, and Tim sat patiently. Her thoughts returned quickly to Philip as she compared how compassionate Tim was. Philip would have been upset that she had cried so long and would have scolded her for leaking on him. He wanted to test Tim and leaned into him and said, "Tim, I'm sorry but the napkin didn't come soon enough and my eyes and nose ran all over you." She dabbed at his shirt pretending to wipe the tears. "I don't mind, it will dry quickly enough. I care much more for your heart than my silly shirt." She giggled because she didn't know what else to do, as she wiped her eyes. He passed the test and wasn't anything like Philip. She watched his caring face and leaned in to peck him in the cheek. She giggled again, "Thank you, I'll take that tea now." She took the tea from his hand and moved to the couch. She grabbed some more tissue on the way. Tim didn't know what to do next, and wondered if she'd talk now. He slowly followed but moved to find an opposite seat. "You can sit here next to me." Victoria said softly as she patted the couch seat next to her. He sat down and turned towards her with his left arm up on the top of the couch. She finally answered his earlier question, "Philip is the man I'm running away from and never want to see again. Yes, he was a boyfriend but he's not anymore." "Sounds horrible." "It was looking back, but most of the time it didn't seem that bad. I've honestly never had a guy like that before, and just thought he was super in-love with me, but really he seemed...Hmmm." She had never put these things into words before and she paused and memories whirred through her consciousness. "...maybe he felt...not that's not quite it...he felt inadequate or something and it was always a race to keep up. Oh, I don't know what I'm saying. I don't know how to put words with this. I think I'm just starting to realize all the red flags and pieces of the puzzle that I didn't see." Fully Sighted "I feel like you just had an insightful thought there. Sounds like you're speaking about it from a distance instead of as the girlfriend." "Really?" "Well, you spoke very objectively. Almost like you were looking at it from the outside." "You don't think it was my fault?" "My guess is that although you're not perfect..." He wished he knew how she was sitting and where her hand was, so he could take her hand in his. He decided to risk it and put his right hand out towards her. She put her hand in it. He felt her shuffle to move close so their hands to clasp more naturally and rest on his knee. "...this most likely has nothing to do with you. He's a wounded man. His father probably never taught him to be a man, so he works too hard to prove it to you." "Hmm...That makes sense." "Tell me what he was like?" He stroked his thumb over her skin on her hand as he asked. As she heard herself describe the man she had dated she realized more and more of the red flags she swept under the carpet. Telling about his manipulation and controlling behaviors brought a rush of emotion and she started crying again and he pulled her close. She leaned into him and his arm came from the top of the couch and encircled her shoulder and arm. His fingers rubbing soothingly on her skin, his breath occasionally blowing lightly on her neck. "You're safe here sweet Victoria. He can't get you here. I'll help you." His first endearment. He repeated the reassuring whispered phrases. She felt safe, in a warm cabin, with a handsome man, with strong arms encircling her. What safer place was there? The tissues were piling up from wiping her tears. She was starting to feel at peace, at the end of her tears. He was quiet and wanting to stay here forever with her. He had captured her voice in his music, but he started imagining how he could capture her tumult and tears and pain in music. "Are you sure it's not my fault." She whispered. She wasn't sure she wanted the answer but she was starting on the journey to understand what happened with Philip. "No, it's not your fault." "Are you sure it's not my fault." The question could be answered easily but believing was harder. "Philip's dysfunction did not start or continue because of you. It's not your fault." There was a long pause. "It's not my fault?!" It was a question and a statement. "It's not your fault." "It's not my fault." Her voice was louder. "It is not Victoria's fault." He said is slowly and clearly. Another long pause. She started grinning as happiness rose inside her. She had found the perfect escape, and Philip wouldn't be controlling her life any more. "Crying makes me tired." Victoria explained a yawn that escaped from her lips. "Is it time for bed?" He was just asking if she wanted to sleep, but with this fabulous woman in his arms his thoughts roamed to other things they could do in bed besides sleep. He wondered if this woman could ever see him as more than just a safe friend. "Could you play for me again?" She turned to him so she could see his face. "Sure." He didn't want to let go of her but his fingers had started itching to see what song would emerge that would sound like what he learned about her in the last few hours. He started to move to stand up when he felt her reach in closer and a soft kiss landed on his cheek. It made him smile but not brave enough to go in for a kiss- yet. She released him from their 'embrace' and he made his way to the piano. Victoria put her worries aside while Tim played for her, and became all too aware that the day had been entirely too short to suit her. Eventually she would just have to call her friend about her card, but that part of her life would just have to wait. The music was almost a repeat of the night before. He started with familiar songs she would know then moved to slower, softer music to relax her, then moved into playing the song he was writing inspired by her. He didn't know if or when Victoria would fall asleep but he played thinking of her. He let his fingers pick out a melody that sounded to him like Victoria's tears. She was quiet when he finished playing so he quietly whispered, "Are you awake Victoria?" No movement or sound. He walked quietly to the couch, and carefully reached to find her hand. "Time to go to bed." He said as he tried to gently awaken her. She grumbled as she came back to consciousness. "Okay...Help me up." She pulled on his hand to lazily stand, and held his hand on the way to the room. "I don't feel like brushing my teeth. Is that terrible?" "No, just sleep." She sat on the edge of the bed. "Good night Sweetie." His words were felt natural. "Good night." Her eyes were heavy but as the endearment registered she forced her eyes awake and saw him kneeling beside her bed. He was the sweet one, the kind and generous one with so much to offer. She reached towards him and rubbed his cheek, feeling his skin, letting her hand rest with her finger on his chin and cheek. So there were men left in the world who thought of others needs first, who weren't selfish and controlling. Here was a treasure. She wondered what it would be like to make love to this man as she looked at his face. She blushed and almost pulled her hand away. His skin was warm. Would his blindness make him touch her more to make up for what he couldn't see. Would he use his hands to see? She felt herself getting warmer at the thought. If she knew he could see her she would probably try not to give away her emotions on her face but she allowed herself a big smile. She hoped she would dream about those good thoughts when she was asleep. She wondered if he could ever be interested in her, she was such a mess right now. "Would it be okay if I felt your face Victoria? I wonder what you look like." "Well, I'm not beautiful or anything, so you're not missing much." "I imagine you are biased. I'd like to judge for myself." "I suppose it would be fine." She didn't feel comfortable telling him that she wanted it. Victoria dropped her hand from his cheek as Tim drew his up to her face. Tim listened to her response in her breathing and any tension in her face. Tim started with a soft, gentle touch near the ears. His exploring fingers trailed up to her forehead and eyebrows. Tim could tell her eyes were closed, he hoped that meant she was enjoying the sensations and hadn't just said 'yes' out of any obligation. He could hear her breathing pick up which could mean she was feeling some excitement. His fingers trailed down her cheeks, down her chin and slightly down to her neck. On his way back up to her cheeks he felt the cheeks move into a smile and a giggle escaped her lips. He wanted to kiss those lips and hear the voice he loved moan for him. Was that giggle a signal that she might be interested too? With his hands on her cheeks now and her breath definitely increasing, he lightly rubbed his thumb over her lips, then the other thumb. Her intake of breath made his touching turn more into caresses and his fingers explored her nose, tickled lightly on her neck below her ear. Certainly he couldn't really know her face without feeling those lips with his own. He lowered his face to hers slowly to give her an opportunity to pull away but instead her face moved closer and he lightly kissed her lips as if it was all part of feeling her face. When he kissed her, her response told him she was dying to be kissed. His instinct had been right. The kiss got his adrenaline running and their lips started moving. He wondered if kissing was any different if you could see, because he couldn't imagine it feeling any more intense than it felt now with Victoria. Their lips moved together slowly exploring this new sensation. He wanted more but would only follow where Victoria led. He didn't want to pressure her or scare her away. But a thirst for more kisses started growing in him. She leaned into him, and let out a small murmur of pleasure. She pulled slowly away from the kiss but kept their heads close. "I'm surprised I didn't scare you away with my emotional outbursts today." "You showed me you were real. There's nothing wrong with that." "I'm not usually weepy like I was today. I wish you could know me when I'm not loaded down with this dead weight." "I can't imagine being more attracted to you then I am now, but I would love to know you more." "I think you're silly for being attracted to me." Her lack of confidence showed through in every conversation. "I think you're crazy for letting me kiss you. But I'm so glad you did." "I'm glad I did too. If I wasn't so tired I might go for another long kiss like that." "There's no rush." He wanted more and wasn't feeling sleepy at all. "Will you sit with me a few more minutes?" She was sleepy but didn't want to watch him walk out of the room away from her. "I'd love to." His words relaxed her and she snuggled into the bed. She closed her eyes and fell asleep quickly with an almost-grin on her face. Tim stayed close, sitting on the edge of the bed, listened to her breathing and thinking about the day. He stroked her hair and her hand being careful where he touched but not wanting to let go. After she was soundly asleep, he quietly left her room and spent the rest of the evening the same way as the previous evening: writing her song. ********************* It seemed a habit was forming. Their two nights and two mornings followed the same pattern. She slept in late while Tim recorded music. Tim checked the weather and heard that the sunny day was going to provide Victoria with the weather she needed to leave. He wondered where she'd go and when he'd see her again. Did the kiss mean anything to her? Victoria woke and remembered the previous day. What a delicious dream world she'd driven into while driving away from her nightmare. Tim was the kind of man she had dreamed of. He was so opposite of Philip, kind, sensitive, able to carry on long conversations, and not willing to let physical needs control him. She wondered at what the weather would hold for the day and if she would have an easy excuse to stay another day. She looked out the window and was distressed to see the sun shining and the snow obviously melting. After the kiss last night she didn't want to leave. She wanted more of those kisses, more of those conversations. Would they do more than kiss? What would it be like to be with someone other than Philip? What would it be like to be with a man who was blind? How could she get it if her excuse was gone? She started getting ready when she thought about the advantages of not having to have her hair perfect, or make up on because he couldn't see it anyway. She left her room, and greeted Tim who was again at the keyboard. She showered and was about to put on her clothes when she realized that she could flash Tim and he would never know. She giggled and walked naked from the bathroom to her room. "Victoria?" Tim called out. "I just finished in the shower." Had she been caught? "Your breakfast is ready." She giggled at her own silliness, "I'll be right there." She disappeared into her room to get dressed simply. He hoped that if she wanted a kiss she would initiate it because he didn't want to make a mistake with her. Was it the start of something special or just a blip on her radar screen. He sat down after placing their food on the table. Then stood when she came out. "Hi," she started. "Uh, Hi." "So...you made breakfast?" "Yes...I waited for you to get up to eat." They both sat down after the awkward start. Victoria wanted a kiss so badly and didn't know how to initiate it so just asked. "There's actually something else I want." "Oh, did I miss something?" "Yes." They were working up courage to say the words. "A kiss." Tim laughed and was ecstatic that her thoughts followed his. "That kiss last night was sensational. I wouldn't mind trying again." They both stood and found each other easily. This time their bodies moved close as they kissed. She raised herself up on her toes to reach his lips. Their lips moving as last night but with more vigor. Now they had the benefit of a good night's sleep, of knowledge of shared interest and a fresh day without thoughts of Philip. Her hands moved up around his neck, which pulled their bodies together. Their first time to be touching with their whole body. He could feel the curves of her lightly against his. It lasted longer than last night and caused more sensation throughout him. He pulled away and laughed. "Now I know that last night wasn't just a dream. You are a good kisser." They sat down to breakfast. "No, you are." She responded. "So, I looked outside and saw that the snow is still coming down pretty hard. There's so much snow on the ground, and it looks so windy." Victoria started to put in place the plan she had come up with. Tim didn't know what to think. The weather report had said the snow was melting, and that Victoria would be leaving. He was quiet and didn't say anything. Did Victoria want to stay? Was she coming up with an excuse to stay with him. "So...I guess I was thinking that since I'm not used to driving in the snow I shouldn't leave today if it means driving through this falling snow." "Certainly, I don't want you going anywhere in bad weather. You're welcome to stay." He would gladly play her game if that's what she wanted. "I don't want to be a bother." "You're welcome to stay. Please don't go out in this weather. I'd worry about you." "If you insist. Maybe the weather will be better tomorrow?" She was glad he was blind and couldn't look outside and see the good weather and melting icicles. "So what should we do?" He asked. "I have a few things in mind." Good thing he couldn't see her blushing, she thought. "more piano, more talking,...more...kissing." "That sounds like a great day to me." He was happy she wasn't disappearing yet. One more day to get under her skin. Tim guessed that his classes probably wouldn't be cancelled again today. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and took his cell phone with him. He called the school. "Yes, Tony, this is Tim. I'm sick today and not going to be able to make it. I'm sorry?" He wasn't missing this day with Victoria. He rarely called in sick. He flushed the toilet and went back to Victoria. "I worked on your song some more. Do you want to hear it?" "I'd love to." She lowered a kiss to his forehead as she stood and collected the dishes. He moved to the piano while she cleaned up. "I'm ready now." She said as she found her way to the couch. He played her song. It wasn't perfect and even as his fingers moved he thought of variances that would sounds better. He had added a new part which 'described' her mood the day before. It was loud and more chaotic than the rest of song. It was the part he wrote last night. Victoria was even more impressed with his playing. But something about the music stirred her up inside. Is that what the language of tears sounded like? The sounds resonated with her emotions. Were tears their own language? Had he understood and connected with her tears? She felt he had. Was he now communicating back to her in his own language, just like tears had served as hers? She started tearing up and even crying softly as she stared at this man who was playing her heart. "Should I stop playing?" He was worried that he had upset her. "No, I love your playing. Could I come sit by you?" "Yes," he slid the bench over so she could sit and he could still reach the keys from the center of the piano. She snuggled up close to him, leaning against him. Wanting to be close but not get in his way. She cried softly again but he continued playing, just like she wanted him to. They kissed when the song ended. He wiped her tears away. "I feel like you're speaking a language to me when you played today." "It is your song. It's what flows out of me when I think of you. It's the music that comes to my fingers when I think of your voice and your tears." "Wow, that's beautiful Tim. Thank you." "You're welcome. You're easy to write for." They moved to the couch and she leaned against him. They talked easily now. She wanted to learn more about him and asked him questions. He found himself sharing things he didn't usually share. During a pause in the conversation he said, "I haven't told you yet but I'm actually not completely blind." "Really?" "I can see things that are up close. If I put something right in front of my eyes then I can pick out their pattern or detail. So...I could see your eyes and face when we kissed." "I hope my looks didn't disappoint you?" "Not at all, Victoria. I wish I could see your face all the time. You are beautiful." "Not really, but thank you, Tim." "You are beautiful! I won't let you argue the honest facts. Are you ready for lunch?" Tim moved quickly through the kitchen but Victoria helped a little. Tim wished he had known she would be there, he would have purchased more variety of thing for her to choose from. They ate their lunch together. After eating Victoria spoke up, "I have a confession to make." "Confess away. You won't shock me." "I've been thinking about your kisses and wanting more. I think it's been at least an hour since I've had one." "That's the kind of confession that I like. Hmmm, let me think about that...Hmm...Okay, I guess I could try again." He teased her, but was sure he wanted them more than she did. They stood again like they had in the morning and started kissing. There was more need this time, and Victoria felt that this time it would turn into more passion. Their arms encircled each other. Their bodies drew closer. Their kiss moved more furiously, and Victoria's moans followed. Victoria's arms moved down his body running over him, down to his hips. She used her hand to pull their hips together. It was primal and real. I was what he wanted, it was what he'd wanted since the first time he heard her voice. He wanted her and she was standing next to him. Arousal arrived between his legs, hard and hot and heavy. She moved from warm to hot with his touch. He slid his hand around the side of her neck, cupping her face, and he took his lips off hers to trail a path down her neck. Take it slow, he told himself. Don't devour her, don't scare her off. He kissed her neck and down to the line where her shirt started. To her it felt like this was their hide away, their time set aside. Her place to recover and rebuild. Her time to wash Philip down the drain and start fresh. . Looking back on it hadn't it been more manipulation with Philip? She needed Tim and his kisses and touches to forget Philip. Philip had built up sexual desire and anticipation in her many times, but not like this. No, it was more than that, she needed Tim because he was himself the man she was looking for. She knew even if she hadn't been running from Philip they would have found their way to this moment somehow. This was a mutual pleasure and happiness. ****************** She pulled him closer, then rocked her hips against him. It was a small move, just a brush up against him, but it was like plugging in to a power outlet because she came in contact with his hard cock. Wow, she did that to him, and they weren't even naked yet. She felt moisture forming between her legs. He kissed her as if he wanted to devour her. Clasped together as if he'd never let her go. His tongue invaded her mouth, a favor she returned, relishing his warm, delicious taste. She wanted to feel more of him, more of that hardness that had just invaded her consciousness. It had been so long for him. Did she know what she was doing to him? Did she really want him that badly? His hand searched over her body and felt that her shirt wasn't tucked in and he let his finger trail under it. Her back felt soft, and his fingers spanned open to touch more of her. She moaned loudly as he touched her and he continued. He imagined what her pussy would feel like if she felt this good already.