2 comments/ 23821 views/ 2 favorites Duality By: Margin Walker I stood on the stoop, darkness a shroud that comforted me, the steady hum of cars and trucks passing on the interstate just a half of a mile away. The cigarette dangled between my lips as I leaned back against the front door. I could feel the presence just on the other side of the door, suffocating, threatening to pull me in and break me. I didn't want to go back in. Not yet. I inhaled and the end of the cigarette glowed brightly in the dark. I saw myself as someone might see me passing by on the sidewalk, glancing up to my house at that time, seeing only my face revealed by the glow of the cigarette, and wondered what they would see. My face would be dimly lit, mostly still covered in shadows. My nose, my cheeks, my forehead, and perhaps my eyes would be revealed in a dull, red light. Would the person see that my eyes were wet? Probably not. Would the light on my face shimmer as my lips trembled? Perhaps. I shoved my hands deep into my pockets and held my arms against my body, feeling a chill in the seventy-degree night. I lifted the cigarette from my lips and took a deep breath of air, trying to push down the heaviness that lodged in my chest, and the breath turned into a sigh, making me tremble again. I dropped my head and laughed to myself. It sounded pitiful and a bit crazy, standing there, laughing at myself, when nothing was funny. This definitely wasn't funny. But I laughed again anyway and I slid my hand across my face and I pushed the laughter back down. I shook my head, a depressed smile across my lips, and stuck the cigarette between my lips to inhale again. That's when I saw her. I don't know where she came from. She was just there. She stood perfectly still, facing me, standing on the sidewalk, her face and body obscured by the glow and smoke of the cigarette, and I thought for an instant of what I looked like to her right then, probably like some half-crazed maniac, laughing to himself, looking miserable, standing in the doorway. Then, I pulled the cigarette from my lips, blew out the smoke, and I could see her better, though I can't describe her. Was her hair blonde or brown or red? Was she tall or short? It didn't matter. She was all of those things. She was none of them. She was everything. And she was nothing. She was just beautiful and I can't find the words to describe her. I stood, frozen, one hand shoved into a pocket, the other dangling at my side with the smoking cigarette hanging from between two fingers, as she stood staring back at me, her body perfectly still. The wind drifted between us and I heard the leaves rustling, scraping across the dry ground, dim voices far down the street, a dog barking somewhere in a yard far behind me, and it was all nothing, noises from some other world that didn't matter where I stood, that couldn't touch me. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. My body was frozen and all I could do was breathe, feeling that heaviness rise in my chest, trying to suffocate me, and she stared back at me and I knew that she knew. Her eyes said it, said everything that needed to be said, and I saw the smile across her lips, soothing and warm, and the heaviness fell away. I took a breath, deep into my stomach, and it didn't hurt, my throat didn't constrict to close it off, and for the first time in a long time I felt my body relax. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the door, forgetting what lie on the other side, feeling every muscle in my body loosen, as a gentle calm passed under my skin, and I sighed, helpless in its grasp, feeling it slide across my skull, my thoughts dimming to black, the thoughts that tormented me every minute of every day vanished, and I was left with a serenity I hadn't felt in years. I couldn't help but smile. I lifted my head and opened my eyes to see her, but she had already turned away and was walking down the sidewalk. I felt my heart leap into my throat and my cigarette dropped to the porch as I walked down the steps to chase after her. I didn't think. I just moved, drawn to her by an invisible leash, and I had no choice but to follow her. I hurried after her until I was only a few steps behind her and I slowed down to her pace, not wanting to overtake her, just wanting to follow her, to watch her, to just be near her. It never occurred to me why I followed her. I just knew I needed to. I could smell her as she walked, her perfume drifting back towards me, seeming to slither around my skin and pull me towards her. Her clothes rustled quietly as she moved, her pumps clicking softly against the cement, and I imagined that I could hear her breathe, her breath whistling softly between her lips. The image of her lips parted squirmed into my gut and I wanted to kiss her, grab her arm, turn her around, and press my lips to her lips, taste her on my mouth, but I didn't. I couldn't. I could only follow. The homes, windows lit with the flashing light of televisions, and the people talking softly on their porches, were images from a dream, wafting by like smoke, and only she was solid, the only thing in this world. I don't know how long we walked. It could have been hours. It could have been minutes. She turned towards a house and walked up the driveway to the sidewalk. I followed her, noticing the house, but not seeing it, my eyes focused on her as she stopped at the front door and opened it. I stood on her sidewalk, several feet away, and watched as she stepped into the house, her head turned back, and she looked at me quickly, a smile on her lips, and then she disappeared into the darkness of the house, leaving the door open. I didn't hesitate. I walked into the house and closed the door. Light from outside seeped through the windows, dimly illuminating the almost empty house. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, pounding painfully hard. My stomach was tight. My body shook. I knew it was the feeling of anticipation, a feeling that had long ago died and had come back to overwhelm me in a quiet rage. I breathed deeply, smelling her, and I moved forward into the house, the wooden floor creaking softly under my steps. I walked down the hallway, following where I knew she had gone, though I hadn't seen her. I could see the flickering of candlelight from a bedroom, the only open door in the hallway. I heard the rustling of fabric as I moved forward. I swallowed hard, feeling my skin prickle like static electricity was building, making my hairs stand on end. I approached the open door, raised my hand to touch the frame, and turned into the doorway. The ball of tension gripping my stomach and the slick electricity crackling over my skin sank lower into my groin and blossomed into a dark, warm heat when I saw her lying on the bed, naked, her body stretched out on her back, her arms behind her to hold her upper body tilted up, her legs parted slightly, one leg stretched out, the other bent up, her knee pointed to the ceiling, and the candlelight flickered over her skin, the shadows of her curves growing and shrinking with the flickering light. She stared back at me, the smile across her lips shining in her eyes, partly wicked, partly sweet. She rocked her leg back and forth slowly, the light slipping down her inner thigh as she titled it to the side, my eyes drawn down between her legs, and then the shadows slithered back up her thigh as she tilted her leg back up. My eyes slid up from her flirtatious thigh, over the dark patch of pubic hair, over her stomach, over her breasts, swaying slowly as she rocked her leg, along the slender line of her neck, over the fullness of her lips, and to her eyes, shimmering in the candlelight, two flames radiating their heat upon me, and I sank into her. I saw myself through her eyes, a man perpetually caught between two choices, either choice just as painful as the other, stuck in the mud of inaction, unable to move or decide, unwilling to make the choice to move forward. I blinked my eyes and I was looking at her again, seeing her watch me, watching the thoughts in my head churning behind my eyes, waiting for me, and I smiled, feeling the thoughts bleed away, leaving me with nothing but the feeling raging in my groin, and I stepped into the room. The room became suddenly cold as I noticed my clothes were gone. I looked down at my naked body and fought the urge to turn away, to hide my nakedness from her. I didn't want her to see me, to see me like this, naked, raw, ugly. I turned my head away, embarrassed, and let my arms fall to my side, letting her see me, waiting for that bitter sting of refusal. I looked at the wall, the light playing along its surface, shadows dancing, and I sighed. "Come here," she said, her voice passionate and dark, sending a chill down my spine. I turned to look at her and she was smiling at me, a playful smirk, an invitation, and I knew she hadn't rejected me. She had seen me naked, stripped bare, nothing to hide, and still she beckoned me to her. "Come here," she said again, and I shivered, her voice slithering through my body, penetrating me to my core, and I thought I had never heard anything so beautiful. I imagined lying with her in bed, our naked bodies pressed together, her fingers dancing across my skin, her whispers in my ear, sending waves of pleasure through my body, concentrating in my cock, starting to stand out long and hard, from just her voice. I moved towards her, watching her as her gaze moved over me, and I stopped as my legs touched the foot of the bed and stared up the length of her body until our eyes met. The mirth in her eyes bled away slowly, dissolving into lust as she stared at me, and her leg slowly fell to the side. My eyes moved down between her thighs, watching as she revealed herself to me, until she was as naked as me, each of us open before the other, and I groaned, knowing I had never seen anything so beautiful. I stood before her, offering myself to her, as she lay before me, open to me, and our eyes locked, searching each other, peeling away those last layers, until we were just two people feeling the same desire and lust, wanting each other with an intensity able to consume us both down to our most primal beings. Her lips parted and her tongue slid along her upper lip, breaking the trance. I placed my hands on the bed and moved onto it on my knees. She watched me as I slid towards her, spreading her legs wider to see me, her feet whispering across the sheets as she drew her knees into the air. I knelt between her legs, dizzy with lust, and my eyes slid along her inner thighs, down to her glistening sex, and a deep, warm yearning spread from my gut through my body, bringing a low growl from my throat. She laughed, a soft laugh, filled with the dark desires whispered in a lover's ear at the moment just before climax, before the ability to think and speak is lost. She lifted her leg in the air and stretched it out beside me. I watched the line of her inner thigh as she set her leg on my shoulder and rubbed her calf against my cheek, and I felt heat rise through my chest, finally feeling her skin against me, her smooth, soft skin against my skin, and I turned my head to press my lips to her calf. I opened my mouth slightly and caressed her calf with my tongue, the taste of her in my mouth. I closed my eyes to just feel her, taste her, lost in her skin, and I raised my hands to hold her leg as I began kissing down her calf to her knee, my tongue preceded by the soft caresses of my fingers. I groaned as my fingers started to slide down her thigh and opened my eyes when she lifted her leg out of my hands. I looked at her, a wicked grin across her lips, and she shook her head. I wanted to plead with her to let me kiss her more. I had barely begun. She lifted her other leg in the air to place it on my shoulder and I sighed as I started to kiss her calf eagerly, the lust building to a pulsating fever. Her skin was warm against my lips. My hands slid down her leg, wrapped around her thigh, as I sucked at her skin, moving lower, my kisses becoming more urgent, the frustration of her tease melting into a burning need to sink into her flesh. I slid her leg along my shoulder as my mouth moved down her inner thigh and I wrapped my hand around her knee, holding her leg against my shoulder, trapping her leg against me. She moaned as I slid a hand low down her leg, and I answered her with my groan, muffled by her thigh. I lay upon the bed as I kissed her lower down her thigh and I looked up at her, seeing her back arched, her head tilted back, as my mouth came close, oh so close to her pussy, and she placed her legs on my back, urging me forward, her hands grasping my hair. I hesitated for a moment, wanting to see her body held in passionate stillness, waiting, wanting, aroused in the knowledge that it was my kisses, my caresses, that brought her that pleasure. Her hands tightened in my hair, pulling me towards her, and I looked down at the soft folds of her pussy, inhaling her scent, my arms wrapped around her thighs. My tongue slid between her lips gently and I licked up, tasting her on my tongue, and my body tensed with desire as she moaned. She clenched my head between her thighs as I slid my tongue along her pussy, flicking her clit, delving inside of her, and my own arousal grew with hers as I tilted her hips up to push my tongue deep inside of her, and she moaned my name, her hands pulling my hair painfully. I wanted only to please her, to bring her the pleasure the can only be experienced with two people who connect, two people who can lose themselves in each other, abandoning their disguises and their shields, inside of each other, open and ready to be hurt. I sucked her clit between my lips and rolled my tongue along it, making her body shudder and her thighs twitch. She groaned and I knew I had her. She had me. I flicked her clit leisurely, increasing my pace as I felt her passion growing, her hips tilting towards me, whispering my name, wanting to hear her say it again and again, each time punctuated by that moan, her thighs pressing against my cheeks, my hands sliding up her body to her breasts. I flicked her clit and she grabbed my head, holding me against her, her body tight, back arched, and I heard my name, drifting in the air, drawn out in a long groan, slithering down my spine, between my legs to wrap around my cock, spreading through my body like the climax through her body. We were locked together for what seemed an eternity, not long enough, her body tense and shuddering at the end of my tongue, her hands pulling my hair, holding me completely still, her orgasm drawn out in a tight line between us, and then she took a deep breath and her body fell back into the bed. She started to pant and loosened her grip on my head. I slid my tongue along her wet pussy once more, pushing between her swollen lips, and I needed to be inside of her, my desire unleashed like a caged animal, and I climbed up her body, staring down at her hungrily as she recovered, her glazed eyes staring up at me, moving over her, my cock agonizingly hard, just wanting to feel her around me, plunge into her and take her, take her as she lay beneath me bathed in her orgasm, and then I felt my cock slide along her pussy, my hips between her thighs, hovering over her. I was about to dive into her, split her wide and take her, a growl rumbling in my throat, when she grabbed my cock and stopped me, held me hovering over her, my cock head pressed between her lips, almost inside of her. I glared down at her, my body trembled, and I wanted to pull her hand away, push her down into the bed, and find the release I could only find deep inside of her, but her lips turned up in a smirk, chiding me, loving me. She leaned up to kiss me and I fell into the kiss, concentrating my desire for her between our lips, her lips soft and full, and she opened her mouth, her tongue touched my tongue, and I groaned as her fingers slid down my cock, brushing the head. Then, I fell onto my back as she pushed me over and climbed on top of me, our lips locked together, her hand grasping my cock firmly. I sank back into the bed. I sank into her kiss. She controlled my desire and laid me out on the bed. I could only succumb to her. I opened my eyes as she broke the kiss and I saw her move down my body, her lips caressing my chest and stomach, her eyes looking back at me, as she moved down the length of my body, her breasts brushing my cock, her fingernails dragging down my chest, making my back arch, leaving long red scratches in my skin. I felt her lips kiss the wet tip of my cock and her nails moving down my thighs. I pushed my head back into the mattress, my eyes closed tight, every nerve awaiting her next touch. Her tongue slid along the length of my cock from the base to the tip and my fingers dug into the sheets, willing her to take me in, to not tease me, oh please tease me, drive me wild, and I couldn't think, could only feel, and I sighed in relief as her lips closed around the head of my cock. I wanted to push my cock into her mouth, but her fingers dug into my thighs, her legs were wrapped around my legs, and she held me down, as she circled the head my cock with her tongue. I opened my eyes and looked down at her, her body hunched over me, her hair dangling down to brush my thighs, my cock held firmly between her lips, and watched as she lowered her head down its length, my cock slipping deeper into her mouth, her tongue sliding along it, forcing a groan through my clenched teeth. Her hands slid up my body as she started moving my cock in and out of her mouth, her hair tickling my hips. She looked up at me and smiled around my cock before plunging it into her mouth again, making my body clench. Her fingernails dug into my chest as I felt her lips wrap around the base of my cock. I lay my hands on her head as she pumped her head up and down, not wanting to control her, just wanting to feel her moving, feel her around me, and I growled as I felt her nails break through my skin, and my hips shot up wildly until I thought I would explode inside of her mouth, empty myself deep into her throat, but she suddenly pulled away from me, my cock feeling cold in the exposed air, wet with her saliva. She whispered to me as she climbed up my body, her eyes locked with mine, her legs straddling me, her breasts hanging over me, and the anticipation caught in my throat, knowing that I would be inside of her, feeling her cunt wrapped around me, and I could barely breathe as she sat up, her thighs around my waist, her hair drifting about her face and shoulders, her nipples hard, a smirk across her wet lips, my cock standing erect, pointing towards her pussy. I slid my hands up her taut thighs to her waist and wanted to pull her down onto me, plunge into her and end the suspense, to finally be inside of her, but she resisted me, and sat there hovering over me, watching me, enjoying her torture, and I glared back at her, caught between letting her tease me or taking her, feeling the lust raging inside of me, and I wanted to roar and cry at the same time, frustrated, enraged. I grabbed my cock and thrust up into her as she sank down to meet my thrust and we both sighed as her cunt unfolded around me, feeling the tension dissolve quickly into ecstatic release. Her pussy was tight, but giving, allowing my cock to move into her firmly, and we matched each other with small thrusts as my cock sank into her further and deeper until I was buried entirely within her and she was resting on my hips, her legs spread wide around me. She leaned forward, her hair hanging over her face, and I rose to meet her with a kiss, her hands on my cheeks, our mouths open. I caressed her breasts as she started to move my cock inside of her, grinding against me slowly, and I shuddered as she moaned in my mouth. Duality Her hands dug into my shoulders and she pushed me back onto the bed, breaking the kiss, leaving me hungry for her lips, and she bent over me, looking down into my eyes, her hair brushing my face, as her hips moved, sliding my cock inside of her, and when I tried to meet her thrust, push it inside of her, she twisted her hips away and smiled at me. I grabbed her gyrating hips and tried to hold her still, hold her against me so I could thrust into her, but she resisted. I dug my fingers into her to control her and heard her sigh as she flipped her head back, her back arched, and her body went slack for an instant and I slammed my cock into her and pulled back out to thrust into her again. Her fingernails clawed into my shoulders making me growl from the pain, the pain mixed with the ecstasy of feeling her around me, no line between them, each a part of the other, and as her nails tore through my shoulder I held her hips against me as I penetrated her body deeper, imagining my cock tearing into her. She lifted her hips up despite my grip on her and lifted her body into the air, ripping her nails from my flesh, and sat up, hovering over me, only the head of my cock still inside of her, and she stuck a finger into her mouth to lick the blood from her nail, her eyes watching me dreamily, and I slid my hands down her thighs and stared at my cock standing long and hard between her legs and felt the fury growing inside of me, my cock pulsing, veins bulging, beating to the pounding in my head, and I lifted my hips up quickly, shoving my cock into her and she screamed, a low, wild shriek that reverberated through the room. I started moving quickly, my body straining, the bed squeaking madly, as I drove my cock up and into her, watching the shaft move into her body, and her scream bled into a series of primitive grunts, muffled by her sucking on her fingertips, licking up the last of my blood and flesh. I watched her body being pushed up as my hips slammed into her and I became lost in the motion, hitting an insane rhythm that made my muscles ache, but I was losing control, and it didn't matter, all that mattered was fucking her, owning her. She closed her legs together, her thighs pressing into my waist, and I growled as my cock couldn't penetrate her deeply, so I rose up and grabbed her, wrapping my arms around her body to push her down onto the bed, force her onto her back to penetrate her, to sink into her, no resistance, no games. But she twisted from my arms and my cock slipped out of her as we fell back onto the bed, both of us growling at each other, her nails digging into my arms, and we were no longer fucking as much as struggling, fighting each other, and she turned underneath me as I tried to mount her, and I pushed myself between her legs and I was lying on her back, my stomach molded around her butt. I reached between our bodies and we screamed in unison as I slid my cock into her as she reached behind me and dug her nails into my butt. She stopped struggling as I thrust in and out of her and she clenched my butt tighter, her nails digging into my flexing muscles. She spread her legs wider and groaned as I arched my back to push into her further and she twisted her head to look back at me with one eye, seeming to glow a dark red, her lips turned up into a sneer, her teeth gleaming as another growl ripped through her throat, and I fell on top of her to kiss her and she met me hungrily, devouring each other, as I started moving faster, feeling my cock sliding in and out of her, her butt turned up to allow me into her deeper, her nails tearing through my skin, and then I tasted blood, my blood, when her teeth cut my lip. She opened her mouth to drink it in and I groaned as I felt my blood dripping into her, her tongue licking across my lip, but I pulled away and she rose up with me, instinctively searching for the blood she wanted, her hands pulling free from my butt, and I grabbed her hips to pull her to her knees as I rose up and then she was kneeling before me, her head turned back staring at me, need etched across her face, watching the blood trickle down my lips, and I sneered at her as I started to pound in and out of her. She tossed her head to the side, whipping her hair across her back, and held her body still, letting me thrust into her, reveling in the feel of my cock sliding in and out of her, feeling like it was growing longer and harder, penetrating her deeper with each thrust, pulling her back against me, the heavy smack of flesh against flesh, driving faster and harder, until we were both screaming and growling, her head turned back to watch me, meeting my gaze, whipping me on, and when her eyelids fluttered I growled in satisfaction, knowing I had her, and I watched as she dropped her head down, breaking our gaze, a shriek peeling from between her lips, and I sank my cock into her deeply, making her body tense, racked by an orgasm that vibrated around my cock, making my body shudder as I tried to contain the impending flood, and I sunk into her deeply, grinding into her, driving her orgasm on, as she pushed back against me, her hands clawing into the mattress. I held her against me as her body went slack, wanting to slip away from me, and I jabbed into her hard, making her jerk back up, and she glared back at me, hating me and loving me, a passionate rage that burned through my skull, and I met her gaze with my own, feeling my open wounds like tears to my soul, and I knew that boundaries meant nothing, everything was one thing, hate and love, pain and pleasure, body and soul, all blended together until definitions were meaningless, there was only this, her body around mine, and I felt like my chest would explode filled with the knowledge, and I gave in to it. I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to please her. I loved her. I hated her. And in her eyes I saw the same, glaring back at me with a deathly, red glow. Our eyes were locked as she slid forward, pulling my cock out of her, and she turned to face me, crawling towards me as she straightened up, until our bodies were pressed together, her breasts against my chest, my cock rubbing against her cunt, and she licked the blood from my lips quickly, and grinned at me. I kissed her, mashing my mouth to hers, and she met me urgently, my hands gripping her hips, her hands sliding across my chest, pushing against each other, trying to push the other down onto the bed, and our bodies pressed together tightly, squirming against each other, slick with blood and sweat, her tongue delving into my mouth, her wet pussy rubbing frantically across my cock, snarling as we fought each other. She reached down to grab my cock tightly in her hand and she almost had me as I hesitated, feeling her nails scratching underneath it, threatening to puncture the flesh, but the pain sizzled in my head, and I shoved her backwards violently, throwing my body against her. Her nails scraped along my cock as her hand fell away from it and she fell backwards. My cock was on fire, burning from her scratches, amplifying my rage and lust. I forced her onto her back and pressed my body between her legs. Her hands grabbed the back of my head, pressing our lips together, and she wrapped her legs around me, her body squirming underneath me, determined to control me from the bottom. I felt my cock slipping across her pussy and pulled my hips back as she raised her hips and when we met again my cock slid into her easily. She started pumping her hips beneath me as I thrust into her and we built a rhythm of synchronous fury, wrapped around me and inside of her. Our tongues, our teeth, our lips, sucked, bit, kissed, penetrated, and our blood mingled in our mouths, rolled along our tongues, and dripped into our throats. She dug her nails into my shoulders and dragged them down my back, making my body arch, driving my cock into her. I slid my hands down her sides, grabbed her thighs, and pulled her legs up until I hooked my arms under them, offering her pussy up to me, and I drove down and into her as she raised her butt up to meet me, fucking me as I fucked her. We broke the kiss and both sank our teeth into the other's neck as we moved faster, thrusting harder, and the sweet burn of her teeth tearing my flesh was met by the taste of her blood pumping into my mouth. I pressed my body against her and pulled her knees up further and her body gave underneath me as it rose to meet me, my cock grinding buried deep inside of her, wrapped around me tightly, plunging further, twisting inside, and our bodies arched, our mouths locked to our necks, every muscles tensed, as my cock exploded inside of her and her body erupted around me, and we screamed together, our cries muffled by the flesh and blood trapped in our mouths, and there was only this, time drawn out along a thin thread of suffering and ecstasy, pulling tighter and longer, pumping into her, pumping into me, bodies locked together, my body an open wound pouring into her, being filled again by her, until I couldn't remember when I had last breathed, when my heart had last beat, and then we both shook and sucked air through our bloody lips and collapsed into the bed. I released her legs and they fell to the bed at my sides. Our chests rose and fell rapidly as we both gasped for air. My cock continued to jerk inside of her swollen cunt as our bodies shuddered and I pressed myself inside of her, the last of my energy concentrated on keeping my cock deep within her. She grabbed the hair at the back of my head and lifted my head up off her shoulder. I looked into her eyes, reflecting the flickering candlelight, and I grabbed her chin, slick with my blood, and we melted into a deep, lingering kiss. I closed my eyes and felt the last spasm through my cock, emptying myself inside of her, felt the salty blood on her tongue and mouth, felt her body underneath me, rippling in satisfied lust and tempered rage, and I knew I loved her. I couldn't bear to leave her, to break that kiss, to allow my cock to slip from her. I hated her. Later, I walked back to my house. I don't know how much later, not having remembered leaving her, remembering only lying in bed with her, holding her, our bodies intertwined, parting only to lick each other's body clean, not wasting a drop of blood as the wounds healed, the candles dying, melting down to dangerous puddles of wax, and we explored each other, caressed, touched, kissed, until the moment had passed and I stood once again outside, my clothes sticking to my moist skin, my body sore and tired, my mind numb. When I reached my house I stood outside, hearing nothing but the rush of cars on the interstate and the leaves rustling dryly, and I saw that form in my bed, lying asleep, huddled at the side, covered, asleep, and my body went cold, thinking of moving closer to that form, being pushed away again, and I didn't care. I pulled a cigarette from the pack and lit it. I couldn't taste the smoke as I inhaled. I took no pleasure from it. I dropped it on the ground and stamped it out. I looked back the way I had come, knowing I couldn't go back that way, I wouldn't know how. I looked at the house and knew I couldn't go in there, I couldn't live like that anymore, what I had experienced would be meaningless there. So, I continued walking. I walked past the house and continued on, not knowing where I was going, just walking, inviting the change, remembering the way she made me feel, and holding on to it, feeling her inside of me, spreading through my body, and I growled deep in my chest, and I laughed. Duality John and I have been together for about 7 years now. We met at high school during what was the worst time of my life. I had a terribly traumatic childhood as my body developed into womanhood despite being born a boy. As my confusion and depression worsened, my family were incredibly supportive and allowed my feminine side, my true self, to emerge. I moved schools to keep my secret safe. After a number of months of private education at home I returned to school not as the pre-pubescent boy I had previously been but as a developing teenage girl. When I was seventeen, I trusted someone who I thought was my friend with my deepest secret. In return, I became the gossip of the school and had some terrible times being bullied by both boys and girls. I felt horribly alone and the only thing that kept me going was my fascination with science and particularly chemistry. John was a classmate and the only person in the school who continued to treat me as a normal human being. We became close friends during that time and we both went on to study chemistry at the same university. Our friendship gradually shifted and we finally fell in love. John became increasingly interested in my transgenderism and the drugs I was taking to maintain and improve my femininity. I think John was frustrated because the drugs took their toll on my sex-drive and I had little interest in sex and found it hard to get an erection. Because my sex-drive had never really evolved, I didn't feel as if I was missing anything although there were a few really intense moments with John which made me occasionally wish I was more horny more of the time. John secretly began working on a drug to counteract the effects of my tablets and one day told me about his experiments. He showed me the effects his drug had on animals in the lab. His observations led him to believe that it would temporarily increase my sex-drive ten-fold and help me to maintain an erection for several hours. I was both shocked and flattered that he would devote so much time to helping me but was nervous about trying the drug. He assured me that he had not seen any side effects in the animals he had tested the drug on and that he felt certain it would work. I wanted him to market the drug and go through the formal process to get the drug signed off as safe by the FDA but it would have taken years and we would both have lost out. Despite my many objections, John decided to experiment on himself to prove to me it would be ok. There's no doubt his sex-drive and his sexual stamina went through the roof and I spent a lot of time on my back! One night I decided to take the plunge and swallowed two tablets. I didn't tell him but 30 minutes later, I was standing in front of him with a raging hard-on in my hand and a glint in my eye that John had never seen before. He immediately realised what I had done but said nothing. Instead, he took me to the bedroom and we fucked each other for hours. It all felt brand new to me, so intense and satisfying that I became addicted to the drug with in a few weeks. As the months went by, I began to get control of the drug and took less but found I still maintained my sex-drive. What's more, it didn't have any adverse effects on me in any way. I was in heaven. John's success in developing the drug led us to question what else we could do to create drugs that would enhance sex. As we analysed our drug (which we called Titan), we isolated some interesting chemicals that when combined separately from the other ingredients had a hallucinogenic effect. It's hard to describe what the drug does but in a nutshell, it increases the sex-drive whilst creating the illusion of feeling someone else's pleasure. For example, when I took John in my mouth, I could feel a hot mouth around my shaft. I could make myself cum by sucking him and so it went on. The sensation was so strange and so erotic that it too became addictive. We knew our drugs and our experiments were primarily illegal but we kept them to ourselves and never involved anyone else. That is, we never involved anyone else until Christian. In truth, I fancied him and knew John had sometimes fantasised about watching me with another man so in a reckless moment, we decided to invite Christian home and seduce him with the help of our most delicious drug which we called Duality. I never doubted that Christian was straight and if I'm honest, that was part of the attraction. I was turned on by the idea of seducing a straight guy and making him commit essentially homosexual acts not just to oblige but willingly and without question. Although Christian knew I wasn't female by birth, a conversation we once had led me to believe he thought I had had reassignment surgery and I never said anything to dispel this assertion. I had considered reassignment at one stage in my life but Titan had made a friend of my cock and I couldn't ever let it go as long as I had a good supply of the drug. So we met up with Christian one night for a few drinks at a local bar and went home for a night cap. John and Christian were really good friends and whilst they chatted on the sofa, I made the drinks and mixed Duality into Christian's bourbon. If he noticed the slightly bitter taste to his drink, he didn't show it and after a short while I could see Christian was getting turned on by the bulge in his pants and the uncomfortable way he was shifting on the couch. To rescue Christian from his embarrassment, I put some music on and signalled for John to leave the room for a moment. As John left, I sat down next to Christian and ran my hand through his hair, talking quietly to him about how sexy I felt. At first he was uncertain how to react and commented that I was John's partner. I assured him it would be ok, that John wanted Christian to enjoy himself with me. Although I could see he was still a little anxious, he began to relax and his stiff conscienceless cock helped him overcome any guilt he might have been feeling. I lifted my skirt a few inches and put his hand on my knee. Leaning forward I kissed him tenderly on his lips... ----------------- () ----------------- I still don't really know what happened to me last night. It was just so weird and so erotic that I've got to get this down on paper. It all feels like an incredible dream but I know it happened. The smell of Jenna's perfume on my clothes and the panties I found in my pocket are proof positive. John, Jenna and I met at a local bar and had a few drinks. We chatted and laughed and enjoyed each other's company just like we always do. I should tell you that Jenna isn't a natural born woman, if you know what I mean. Don't get me wrong, she's absolutely gorgeous and I've always liked her. I have nothing against her at all but she was born a boy as she says if pressed on the matter. Anyway, I always thought she'd had the op and it doesn't bother me but she is what they call pre-op. You'd never guess looking at her though. Where was I? Ah, yes, in the bar. So we drank a few and we were all in good spirits so Jenna suggested we go back to their place for a night cap. No problem, I thought. We often ended up back at their place after a night out. When we got there John poured us the drinks. No, wait a minute, sorry; Jenna poured the drinks whilst John and I sat on the couch. Anyway, John and I chatted and Jenna put some music on. After a while I found I'd got the most persistent hard-on of my life! I kept shifting on my seat, trying to surreptitiously hide my bulge but it was no good and I couldn't get rid of it no matter what I thought or talked about. The trouble was that I felt as horny as hell. This really freaked me out because I was just talking to John and Jeez I didn't want him thinking he was the cause of it! John got up and left the room whilst Jenna came and sat next to me. She was sitting really close and kept whispering in my ear. The atmosphere seemed thick with sexual tension and at that moment I fancied Jenna more than I'd ever fancied anyone in my life. I remember thinking that if she gave me just one bit of encouragement, I'd fuck her there and then – even if she was with John. Then I started feeling a bit guilty and sort of moved away from her a little. That's when I got my next shock – Jenna told me John wouldn't mind if I fucked her. In fact, he'd like it! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I even made her say it again to make sure I'd heard right. Not only did she repeat it but she leaned over and slowly kissed me, very sensually on my lips. I thought I was going to cum there and then. Even if I had, it felt like I wouldn't have lost my hard-on. Then John walked in and sat down in a chair opposite us. I looked for clues in his face to see if he disapproved but no, his expression was one of encouragement, reassuring me it was ok. So that was it. No need for any anxiety, just go on and have a great time with Jenna. Jenna lifted her skirt a few inches and put my hand on her knee. I didn't want to go straight for her pussy so I ran my hand part way up her thigh, my thumb purposefully tracing a line up the inside towards her pussy but stopping short and sliding back to her knee. We kissed again, my tongue searching out hers and she groaned quietly as my hand moved and she opened her legs a few inches. I stopped kissing her and slowly unbuttoned her blouse, my eyes roaming over the perfect globes of her breasts as they were slowly revealed. I moved on to kiss her neck and was shocked to feel someone kiss my neck in the same place. I quickly turned my head thinking it was John. I was going to leave if he thought he was going to join in. But he was still sitting in his chair watching us and there was no-one else in the room. Jenna couldn't have kissed me so perhaps I imagined it. Too much bourbon I thought to myself. Then I kissed her neck again and felt that same sensation. As I stopped kissing her skin, the sensation stopped in my neck. I just couldn't work out what was going on. I shrugged it off and Jenna pulled my head back to her neck. I heard her whisper "Don't fight it, just go with it." It was as if she knew what I was feeling. In my excited state, I shrugged it off and slipped my hand in her open blouse. That was when I started to realise what I was feeling. Whatever I did to Jenna, I felt on my own body. It was incredible, I'd stroke her nipples and I'd feel it in my own but instead of the usually mild sensation I'd get, it felt fantastic. There seemed to be a direct connection between my nipples and the tip of my now throbbing and oozing cock. My hands and mouth ran over her breasts, every kiss and caress making us both moan in ecstasy and I found it impossible to stop. I still had my clothes on and my cock was rubbing against my trousers as my hips squirmed and ground in response to the incredible sensations that were searing through my body. Jenna gently pushed me away and I took this chance to quickly strip my clothes off. Somewhere in the back of my mind I could hear John breathing heavily as he stayed in his chair just a few feet from us. I looked over and saw he too had taken his clothes off and was stroking himself as Jenna and I continued to make love. When I was naked, Jenna gently pushed me to my knees as she stood before me. I could not wait to bury my face in her cunt and to feel the sensation of my tongue and lips as they pleasured her. However, Jenna was not so rushed as I and she took her time, slowly removing her flimsy skirt and blouse. She now stood in front of me, my face only inches from her crotch. She was wearing nothing but pretty satin panties that had alternating light pink and white horizontal stripes and a peach coloured rose embroidered on the centre of the delicate waistband. My eyes wandered over her beautiful body and finally settled between her legs. At first I thought maybe her op had left her slightly misshapen or something but as I watched she slipped her hand in her panties, right down between her legs and rearranged herself. As she pulled her hand away, her cock and balls became apparent. I stared at the contours of her bulge through her panties, the satin material glistening and emphasising her manhood. I couldn't move. I was so surprised to discover this, to feel so turned on and discover this and then to realise my erection was still solid, still demanding satisfaction that it left me feeling confused and uncertain. I looked up at Jenna's face. She was looking back at me with gentle almost pleading eyes. I could tell she didn't want this to stop, didn't want to be rejected and perhaps wanted me to experience this if only this one time. Her hand stroked the back of my head, gently and slowly pushing my face closer to her cock. At first I resisted. But I felt my muscles relax in my neck and I allowed her to pull me closer. My lips touched against her cock through the smooth satin and I felt the most delicious tickle on my shaft. It was so strange; I could feel my hot breath against my skin as if I was somehow kissing my own cock. Almost without realising it, I started moving my mouth along Jenna's shaft, my tongue licking her through her panties and as I did so, I watched them become transparent; her now swelling cock becoming more visible through the gossamer-thin satin. I became more adventurous, moving my mouth to Jenna's balls. I felt that delicious tingle again as my mouth licked lightly at her silken bulge. My mind had freed itself now. I wanted to do more, to explore both her body and mine at the same time. I reached behind Jenna and stroked her cheeks through her panties. As I squeezed and massaged her, I felt my arse being stroked and fondled. I could also feel the ghostly presence of her panties against my skin wherever my mouth and hands wandered. My cock was oozing pre-cum as I pulled her closer to me, my hands gripping her cheeks and my mouth pressing hungrily against her tool. I slipped one hand inside her panties and ran my middle finger down her crack, stopping when it was resting on her hole. I gently fluttered my finger over her opening and felt a burst of sensation coming from my butt. Her cock was hard now and I leaned back and lifted her cock out of her panties. Cupping her balls with one hand, I leaned forward and held her cock with the other; I squeezed her member and gently stroked her. I felt the pressure round my own shaft. It was amazing, as if I was jerking myself off but not with my own hand. It felt like someone else was doing it but with the expertise that only I have for satisfying myself. I licked the pre-cum from the tip of her cock and then sank my mouth down onto her shaft. It was amazing and I was so close to cumming that I could not control it. I started to suck her and as I did, I felt myself explode. I almost expected to feel it shoot into my mouth; such was the confusion of real and imaginary sensation. John walked up behind me and stood on the sofa as Jenna took him in her mouth. I watched as Jenna held the shaft of John's cock and he fucked her mouth furiously. He cried out as his orgasm flooded her mouth. When John had finished, I turned my attention back to Jenna's prick. I took her in my mouth and started to suck her cock whilst moving my head up and down. I reached down to stroke her foot and felt my cum on her skin. I swirled my finger in it before slipping my hand back between her cheeks. I used the cum as a lubricant, massaging it into her hole and slowly sinking my finger into her. She gasped as I slipped in and I groaned too as I felt the same sensation. My prick was still hard and I was still as horny as hell as I fingered and sucked Jenna. She was getting close now and she began to buck against my finger and fuck my mouth. I could feel every part of her cock in my mouth. I ran my tongue all over it, feeling the fleshy tip, the dip just below it and the powerful shaft that extended from her otherwise incredibly feminine body. As her moans of ecstasy rose in volume and frequency, I too felt a second orgasm rising in me. She was fucking my mouth very fast now and I plunged my finger deeper into her. I felt string after string of cum shoot into my mouth as she cried out, lost to her orgasm. I swallowed her cum and she continued relentlessly grinding into my mouth as my own orgasm reached a crescendo for the second time in only a few minutes. As it subdued, Jenna continued to fuck my mouth, slowing down gradually and eventually stopping. I was still kneeling as I gently removed my finger and felt her cock soften in my mouth. Even this felt highly erotic and I thought about how delicious it would be to take her in my mouth whilst she was limp and feel her erection grow into me. Eventually, I pulled away from her and tenderly kissed her cock before standing up. She hugged me to her and I nuzzled into her neck. Strangely, I don't really remember much after that moment. I'm sure we chatted for a while longer but I can't remember what about. When I woke up this morning alone in my own bed, I had the most glorious early morning erection which I was happy to play with as I recalled the events of the night before. I'll see Jenna and John again soon, I'm sure and perhaps they will be able to explain what happened. Why I suddenly became so incredibly horny and maybe, they'll be happy to do it all again sometime. Perhaps they put something in my drink – after all they are both expert chemists and maybe they have access to some amazing sex-drug. If so, I'll see if I can persuade them to give me some more... Duality She was kneeling behind him, wearing just her panties, thinking. Their positions, their roles, were reversed: he was on all fours, in front of her, and she was on her knees behind him on the bed, looking down at his back. His ass was in the air, and she studied the muscles of his spine and shoulders, watching him breath. It was different and kind of confusing, this switching of places. She noted again his softness; he was pale and not very muscular. From her new vantage point he looked weak, and to her internal shock she felt a glimmering of contempt. He lowered his head, and she thought, "Is that how I do it? Is that what I look like when he's fucking me from behind?" Tentatively, she reached out and placed her right hand on the small of his back, rubbing his hip and thigh with her left. He twitched a little, and she had a flash of power, and had a glimmer of what he felt when she was in his place. Reaching around with her left hand, and pushing down on his body, shoving him gently into the bed, she felt for his cock. When she found it, pointing almost straight down and only slightly hard, she touched the tip with her thumb and index finger, stroking and pinching softly. Thinking of what he would do, she moved closer and made contact with his ass and thighs with her belly. He pushed back against her, and she returned into him, feeling another little shock of powerful control. Rubbing her panty-clad pussy against his ass she continued stroking and rubbing his cock, moving down along the shaft lightly and cupping his balls. She kept her other hand on his back, making circular motions with her palm. His skin felt hot and smooth. She leaned over until her belly was fully against his naked skin, and then folded forward far enough for her swaying breasts to brush against his back. He shuddered when her nipples touched him, and she did it a few more times, sashaying from side to side to just barely touch with the tips of her tits. His cock got hard, very hard, and she could feel him pulsing in her hand. She wished, in a sudden, shocking image, that she had a cock and could fuck him, penetrate his body like he fucked and penetrated hers. The realization surprised her so much she stopped moving for a minute, to think and absorb this new part of herself she hadn't known was in her at all. She felt aggressive and sexual, not exactly 'masculine', but certainly desirous, and with a sense of near-violence. Rolling with the sensation, she shoved against him harder, and he bashed back against her. She'd neglected the rock-hard cock while she'd been thinking, and leaning over some more she grasped the entire shaft in her hand, squeezing. Her breasts pillowed on his body, and he reared up slightly to make more contact. Stroking the cock in her hand, making as much of a pussy as she could, she removed her free hand from his body and quickly tugged off her panties, awkwardly yanking them over her feet. She tossed them on the floor and reached her arm around him, covering his body, hugging as hard as she could while shoving against his ass with her pelvis. She wanted to be a man, a male of the species, to have a raging cock to impale and fuck the body below her. She almost laughed at the incongruity and slight craziness of the thought, but made a conscious decision to simply let her mind and emotions free. Almost involuntarily, her movements and acts got more aggressive. She roughly stroked his cock, making it her own. "This is mine," she thought. "This is MY cock." It was hers by proxy, the throbbing shaft in her own hand; his body was her body, his maleness was hers. He wasn't himself, but only a part of her own body, and a physical possession. She stroked and rubbed the cock until she felt it spasm, then stopped momentarily, waiting. It was too soon, too fast. She wanted it to last, to pleasure the female pussy she also possessed. This had been his idea. She'd asked, curious, and innocently enough, "What does it feel like when you're behind me?" and he'd answered she should try it and see. At first she misunderstood and thought she was supposed to somehow do him in the ass, but realized he wasn't suggesting that at all. He'd just meant to switch positions for a brief bit so she could maybe feel a similar experience. She doubted he'd meant for her to feel the explosive things she was feeling. Rubbing and bouncing against him, she tried to position herself to contact some part of his body with her clit; and after some experimentation she found a spot that allowed her to slide up and down, and she started that. The effect was immediate: she felt, for whatever reason, a series of shocks that wormed through her lower body, whirled around, and made for the top of her head. When they got there she gasped and then yelled a little, and gripped the man's cock, hard. The man below her groaned and bucked, and she grabbed his side, digging into his flesh with her hand and fingers, holding him in place, and shoved and moved against him. His cock pulsed and flipped upward, and she backed off with her hand, instead holding the very base of the shaft with two fingers and a thumb, holding him while she stayed behind him, performing her own actions for herself. She did that for a while, feeling herself building. The cock moved and she felt it through her hand, and somehow felt it in her own body, a transference, and she wanted the cock, HER cock, to orgasm, to shoot come out into the world. She removed her hand from his side and slithered it down her front, between his body and hers, and stroked herself. Her fingers touched the man's balls and he grunted, then arched his back. The cock in her hand pulsed again, and this time she didn't back off, instead grasping the entire shaft and stroking the head with her thumb. She stroked both parts of herself, steadily and consistently, until it was right there. She felt the shocks again. They merged into one, and went into her head, right behind her eyes, exploded, then fired back down to her pussy. The resulting orgasm shut her breath off for a couple of seconds and made her freeze solid in hesitant anticipation. She moved her fingers again, the ones fitted between their bodies, and got hit with a shattering, convulsing orgasm, harder than the first one. She involuntarily gripped the cock- HER cock- and it pulsed, jerked violently, and erupted in whipping ribbons of come into her hand and onto the bed. The thing attached to it groaned loudly and moved weakly, helpless and in her power. When she was sure, absolutely sure, her cock was done coming, and she wasn't going to be hit with another orgasm (she wasn't sure she could handle another one), she moved away from the man and off the bed, standing naked in the room. The man rolled sideways, avoiding the slashes of her semen, and collapsed. She couldn't help making a face about the action. "Pussy," she thought. "Pussy." She was standing, alone and complete, done for the moment, and she felt powerful despite (or perhaps because of) her nakedness. The man on the bed rolled slightly, and suddenly looked weak. He raised his head and looked at her, weak eyes shining, a smile on his face. He said something, but she wasn't listening. Instead of talking she put her clothes on while he watched quizzically. She almost laughed out loud in contempt, and she knew she was feeling something usually men feel after fucking some girl they didn't care about. It was powerful and crazy at the same time. She got fully dressed, coat on and everything, and she noted the man was beginning to look concerned and confused. She turned and walked through the bedroom door, headed out. The man followed. When she reached the exit, the door to the hallway of the apartment complex and her escape, she turned and looked at him. He was standing naked in the room, looking like some bit player in a school production of OLIVER TWIST. She had to smirk, and turned the knob. As she went out the door, she had to say it, it was imperative, and it popped into her head with no conscious urge or anything of the sort. She said, without meaning it at all, and knowing beyond any doubt she wasn't going to do it, "I'll call you..." The door was open and she was free, gone, rid of the other person she no longer needed, and she finished it up with a final insult: "..baby."