5 comments/ 16078 views/ 0 favorites Diary Of "L" By: iamlynn Finding myself single after nearly 17 years of monogamy I met a man quite casually who opened my mind and has begun to teach me and encourage me to let myself experience whatever I might desire for my own personal gratification and satisfaction. This man understands that all of my sexually active life I have experienced sex and passion by participating in what my partners wanted but never had a partner that I could trust enough to tell what I wanted. Someone I could ask to try different experiences with to see if I liked them or not. I was so inhibited I could not even verbalize to him what I needed. With kindness, gentleness, patient guidance and encouragement he has brought a new meaning of passion to me. He has opened a door to a world that I thought only existed in a world of movies and magazines and underground sex clubs. This is my true experience with this man. These are my real feelings and thoughts about this experience both good, bad, and scary. What you read are things that happened to me recently. In February of this year I walked out of divorce court feeling lost. I was happy to be out of the relationship but being a single middle aged woman felt odd and unsettling. I was sure that my years of attracting men had pretty much passed. I was working at a job that gave me little or no exposure to the public leaving very little opportunity to meet any available men. Like so many these days late one night after having a very pleasurable but not completely satisfying experience with my vibrator I decided to explore the dating sites on the internet. It was mind boggling. First you have to pick a site, then all the questions and the profile. My God, how does one describe themselves when you don't even know yourself. It was at this point that I realized no one had ever cared what I liked, wanted or dreamed about in anything much less sexually. After struggling with this for sometime I was finished and entered into a world that I can only describe as exciting and tedious. So many people all looking for something. Here I was not knowing what I was looking for. I just began reading profiles. After a few weeks of insignificant chats and weeding through scammers who prey on lonely women I was getting pretty discouraged. I was about ready to just give it all up when I happened upon a profile that seemed different. This guy seemed really, sincerely different. He wasn't looking to build a nest with someone or candlelit dinners, he did not mention long walks on the beach or commitment. He talked about a smart woman in a real short skirt that knows how to flirt, he talked about sailing and adventures, he talked about living out loud. I almost did not respond to him because I thought what would he think of a woman like me. Someone who could not even say whether or not she liked anything other than the typical monogamous, settled down relationship. I decided what the hell, I have little to lose at this point and who knows maybe he would write to me and if nothing else we could become friends. I had no idea that this tiny emailed message to a total stranger was about to make such a huge impact on my life and change me forever. After a few benign emails we began to talk on the phone pretty regularly for about two or three weeks. We laughed and made an occasional joke that was sexually motivated but really never discussed this matter any further than that. Then came the day when one or the other of us decided to pop the question about finally meeting in person. A date! I was so excited about this up until the actual day we were going to meet, then I was terrified. A real date with a different man than my former husband who still felt like my husband. All the questions running through my mind. I knew he liked short skirts, I prefer blue jeans, hair up, hair down, which perfume, low heels or high heels, lip stick with color or just lip gloss, no sexy underwear but no one will know that anyway. I was overwhelmed by all the details and the whole process felt like a job interview or an audition. I was a wreck. By mid afternoon though, I had gotten it together. Black short, skirt with matching top, slightly high heels, rapture perfume, long blond hair down with a slight curl to it, light pink lipstick with lip-gloss over it, white jacket, and dark panty hose. I looked like a mixture of class and a conservative ordinary woman maybe headed for a dinner party or a nice restaurant , which is exactly what I thought I would be doing. We made arrangements to meet at a local restaurant on a pier at the Bay. We would meet have dinner maybe sit outside have a drink and look at the boats moored at the pier. Innocent enough. It never even entered my mind that it would go further because I was living where I worked and he was from a town 50 miles away. I was a few minutes late getting there and he was waiting. We actually walked past each other before we finally realized that we were there to meet each other. I thought he was handsome and he had a wonderful smile. He smelled good and he was so easygoing that it wasn't long before I realized I was pretty much at ease with this man. There was something so incredibly comfortable about him When he talked he was open and he never said harsh or judgmental things and before long we were talking as though we had known each other for a very long time. We were standing in front of the restaurant when he gently put his arm around me and guided me in a different direction and as he said for me to look I saw the most beautiful sunset I could remember. This huge orange ball was sinking below the horizon as if the bay were swallowing the sun. I just felt heat creep through me and take over my body. I was to my amazement becoming aroused. I felt a little embarrassment at this and wondered if there were some telltale sign that would give me away. If there was he never let on that he could tell. We went in and were seated at a table outside over the water and we dined for at least an hour or two. It just was so easy, too easy I thought. I began to fantasize that he would kiss me, I was thinking romantically, passion was not in my vocabulary, I don't know that I really realized how powerful passion could be before this night. After dinner we walked to the end of the pier. I remember feeling him so close to me and thinking just a little closer and we would be touching and I wanted him to touch me. How could I ask this man, this stranger to touch me? Was I just so horney from not having been with a man in so long or was this physical attraction I felt about him, about this man? I didn't know but whatever it was it seemed to be taking me over and was starting to be more powerful than the self control I was so accustomed to. I could not wrap my head around all the things happening to me at once. My nipples were hard and ached, my panties felt wet to me and I wondered if he could smell the scent I was giving off from the dampness between my legs. I was listening to him talk and thinking why don't you just kiss me, right here, right now even with all these people around us, just do it. My head was screaming at him but my lips never moved and I continued to walk back to the shore end of the pier with him thinking he would probably want to go for a drive or something and the moment would be gone. He surprised me by turning down a path leading along the shoreline. It was dark now but the lights from the pier and surrounding houses lit the pathway up like sparkling candles. The sound of waves lapping against the shore was soothing but the entire package was making me feel as if I were about lose control right there and shiver in orgasm with my pussy releasing it's juices leaving me wet and weak. Trying to act normal was becoming almost impossible. He must have sensed something because without warning he was kissing me. He kissed me like I had not been kissed in very long time. It was long and slow. The kiss was deliberate. Something in me let go, I knew he was feeling at least some of the heat that had now consumed me. After the kiss we walked a little further down the path and at the end we sat down on a bench. We were talking and kissing, just trying to figure each other out when he took my hand and with great ease and confidence he placed it over his cock. Through his jeans I could feel the hardness. I began to stroke it through his clothing and then without even realizing which of us made the move his pants were unzipped and his cock was out. He put my hand around it without a word. It was as if dancing with a partner you have had for years, all they have to do is put gentle pressure on the small of your back and you know where to go. He had this effect on me. Without warning or provocation I leaned over and put his cock in my mouth. I could hear people all around us, I knew that this was a walking path and that at any moment someone could be jogging by or walking their pet but so out of character for me I kept sucking and licking and pushing it deeper into my throat. It was perfect and I loved the taste and the smell. I for just that moment felt like I was getting more satisfaction from this than he was and it made me feel more like a woman than I ever had. I felt like I had control of the situation, myself, and my life for just that instant. After I had sucked and licked his cock and stroked his balls and the base of his throbbing cock . I instinctively pulled off my pantyhose, panties laid them on the bench. I stood up and faced him, lifted my skirt and straddled his legs placing myself strategically and perfectly so that when I lowered myself my wet pussy slid over his cock like a perfect leather glove fits it's owners hand. A perfect fit. I began to move my body up and down with a slow precise rhythm feeling the fullness of his cock inside me and letting my mind drift off in any other direction than the fact I did not even know this man's last name or much of anything else about him. I refused to think about who on the pier or from one of the nearby houses might be watching with shock or amusement. I just let my body take over with all of it's senses and do what it lead me to do. After sometime, he gently stopped me kissing me and directing me with a self confident ease that just made me want him even more. He helped me up and turned me around where my back was to him. He put my hands on the back of the bench and bent me slightly forward and with a thrust he was inside of me. I gasped at the surprise of his cock filling my wet pussy so completely. He was so confident in his every move that I did not think just reacted. Each thrust was harder and I wanted to scream with excitement but I could hear people all around us. From time to time I would glance around to see if we were being watched or if some unsuspecting stranger was headed our way. He would quietly and calmly assure me that no one was coming. As much as I did not want to get caught, the idea of someone seeing us together this way became exciting to me. I knew that this was an experience that would change my needs and desires for this man and any other I may ever have for the rest of my life. He had shown me a door that if I went through would give me endless possibilities to experience sex in a way I never had. He fucked me that night. Not making love, not sleeping together, no polite for society phrase, he fucked me hard and good and I loved it and craved more. When he finished, my knees were weak and my thighs quivered. My breasts were sore and my pussy would not be the same for days. I still get wet and ache in my pussy, with hard nipples just thinking about my skirt up around my waist and by breasts loose with him holding my butt and just pushing harder and harder and my pussy being so slick and wet and his cum drenching me even more. I was blown away when he took his fingers and soaked them in the liquid mixture dripping from me and tasted it. Not long after he did that I just had to try that for myself and to my amazement it was nice. Not too long after we finished and after we sat on the bench with his fingers still exploring every part of my pussy we got ourselves dressed and put back together just in time for some evening walkers to pass by us and cheerfully say hello. I just smiled and returned the sentiment. We have been seeing each other since that night and he makes me want to experience it all. I cannot think of anything that makes me more excited than talking and planning what we will do or try next. It seems to me I have this blank canvas that I can paint any way I can imagine, and my imagination is on overload. Thank you Bob. Diary Of "L" Entry 02 Since my first encounter with Bob my mind is saturated with thoughts and fantasies of what is to come. I find myself daydreaming about all the possibilities that we can try. He travels a great deal so we communicate via internet and phone. I never imagined me being able to have sex via internet and phone but to my astonishment, anything is possible when one allows oneself to open up and let go of all inhibitions and just say yes. With a partner like Bob it becomes easier with each experience to do this because he just guides you where you need to go without pressure or intimidation. He has a way of showing me that I can trust him before we have ever done anything. Last night we were having our usual phone conversation just catching up with each others day when he said he would like to see me. He said he would like to see all of me, naked and with the lights on. I knew he meant by video cam which I am very uncomfortable about. I thought it over and replied with enthusiasm that I would do this. I asked him to give me a few minutes to prepare and then to call me back. I quickly undressed, brushed my hair, checked make up and added some lip-gloss. I hurried to the bureau and removed my vibrator grabbed a small bottle of body oil and placed everything within arms reach. I turned on the overhead lights, picked up my computer and had just gotten into a comfortable position on my bed when the call came in. I clicked accept and just that quickly I saw his beautiful smile and next to that I saw my own image staring right back at me. It took me by surprise to see myself naked on the camera. It was also very strange to know that Bob was seeing me at the same time I was seeing myself. Could he see the surprise on my face as I took in the sight of my own nudity? I had seen myself naked many times and visually explored every part of my body but on a video cam I felt so exposed. It felt exciting and it felt frightening at the same time. Even though he was there I was completely on my own. I was going to have to take something I considered very private and allow this other person to observe what I did to bring myself pleasure. It seemed like I was putting on a one actor play with no script or rehearsal. I definitely felt first night jitters. He called me on the phone and he told me he could see me. I began to search for the right place to locate the laptop so the view would take in as much of my body as possible. Finally I decided to place it between my legs just below my knees with my legs spread wide apart. This allowed a perfect view of my open pussy, also my large full breasts with the darkened nipples perfectly erect. I was looking down my body at the view and seeing what he saw through the camera lens. It was so strange to have this multi angle view of me. Just as in our first encounter I wondered what was he seeing when he looked at me, what was he thinking of me? Without much more thought about this I found my hand lightly rubbing my clit. It was a simple gesture that felt nice to me and was somewhat stimulating but when Bob saw this he began to talk to me describing what he saw. This was incredibly stimulating. I could feel what had been a slight moistness begin to become wetness. I reached for the body oil, put some on both hands and began to rub it into my already wet pussy. The scent of the oil combined with my own scent was rich. It was delicious to my senses, before I realized it I could only feel my fingers first rubbing my clit, then my pussy and occasionally finding their way inside for a deeper thrill. All I could hear was Bob's voice telling me how pleased he was to see me enjoying myself, how happy it made him that I would do this for him. These words just fueled the fire and the heat and ache between my legs became almost overwhelming. As I felt the inexplicable feeling rising in my pussy and all between my legs I knew what was going to happen. I was just hoping that it wouldn't happen to soon. I wanted to feel this feeling for as long as I could. I wanted to smell the scent, hear Bob's voice in my ear and I wanted to watch myself on the camera as long as I could. I would steal a glance at Bob on the camera, his smile and the soft glow that shown over his face made him look so very pleased. That just added more intensity to the entire experience I was having. I took my hand from my pussy, wet, sticky and fragrant with the oil and juices. I reached to pick up my vibrator. I placed it right over my clit and moaned so softly at it's arrival. It was like the feeling you have when a roller coaster reaches it's highest point and suddenly dives at an incredible speed leaving you gasping for air and trying to locate your stomach. This experience was gradually building to that intensity, my mind could not even imagine what the end result would be like. There was something about being on a camera, exposed, having someone watch me masturbate while softly giving encouragement and instruction that was pleasurable beyond description. I was loving every minute of it. I began to have thoughts through the waves of pleasure that were rippling through my body of what Bob was doing. With a quiet voice I asked him where his hands were. Instead of a reply to my question he asked me if I wanted his hand to be around his hard cock. Without any thought I replied to this with a very definite "yes"! That was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to think of him watching me massage my pussy with one hand and vibrations running through my clit from the vibrator with my other hand and him stroking his cock forcefully making it harder and harder. The thought of all of these things happening at once was so powerful I felt like I was outside myself watching it all unfold from a distant corner of the room. I didn't want it to end just yet. I wanted more. It would seem that there wouldn't be anymore at this point. I mean how much can one do for oneself while mutually masturbating in different locations over a video cam but there is always the power of one's own mind and imagination. My mind recalled what Bob had said he wanted to do to me the next time we were together. Just as quickly as these thoughts entered into my mind I exploded in an orgasm that left me breathless, weak and drenched in my own juices from a pussy that tingled from pure pleasure. My knees fell together, my arms dropped to my sides and just for a moment I was still and limp. I then thought of Bob, remembering that I had not heard him cum. I asked him about this and he instructed that he needed me to spread my legs wide open so he could see my wet pussy. I did this. Then he asked me to describe to him what I wanted him to do to me the next time we were together. I began to recall what he had told me earlier that he wanted to do to me and what had made me cum almost immediately upon thinking of it. I began to describe for him what was going to happen. Bob had told me the next time we were together he would give me some champagne, that being a very erotic drink for me. Then he would take me out into the night, into an area he knew with trees. He was going to blindfold me, something I have never done. He wanted to tie my hands behind me, something else new to me. He said after that he would slowly undress me. After this he would have surprises for me and when I was begging for him to fuck me he would bend me over a picnic table, enter me from the rear and fuck me until I had orgasm after orgasm. The thought of this makes me hot, wet and ache for his cock. As I thought about this I began to describe it to him. I watched him on the cam and listened to him moan in pleasure as I continued to talk. I was feeling my own pussy become aroused again and just when I thought I might cum right then for a second time, I heard a very loud moan from the other end of the phone. Bob had reached the point of no return, his body shook while his cock shot cum out of it leaving him completely and totally satisfied. I listened for quiet some time to his breathing and was soothed by the sound of it. When I finally felt the strength back in my voice I had to ask him if he was alright. He assured me he was fine. He made me feel like the sexiest woman who ever lived as he complimented me on what had just taken place. I remember thinking when we first started how uncomfortable I thought this would be. I just felt amazed at this point at how easy it was for me to share this experience with him. I guess a great many people have partners that they can communicate their desires to and try out new and different experiences with. For me, it is all new, the experiences, the partner, and the freedom to own my own body, to allow myself the pleasure that it has to give me. I just keep thinking all I really want right now from my life is more. I want to find out what is next. I want to spend time thinking about it and anticipating it. I want to then experience whatever I can. I want to relive it over and over in my thoughts. I never thought of sex as being particularly detailed. Now, I think that great sex is all about the details. It is when anyone involved in the experience takes the time and the effort to concentrate on giving and receiving pleasure with each other. It does not seem that it is all about just trying to please the other person , but about allowing yourself to enjoy what your body has to offer whether aroused by your own initiative or by the participation of others and vise versa. It will be nine more days until I am physically with Bob again. During those nine days I will be anticipating everything he has promised me and I will be thinking of how I can reciprocate. Until my next entry, let me just say, Thank you Bob. Diary Of "L" Entry 03 Bob's Homecuming PREFACE: I am writing this preface because Bob is coming to town and I have put a great deal of thought into this date. This entry into my diary is only that. I felt like writing about my thoughts and preparations for this weekend. Bob and I have only been together twice since we met. He had to leave shortly after we had that steamy first date and he has been gone close to a month. I spoke to him last night and was so excited to find out he has returned to our area and would like to see me this weekend. I can hardly wait. I have been thinking about this meeting so much for the last few weeks, planning and anticipating it. I cannot believe that it is here. Everyday I seem to think about what might happen and how I will make preparations to make this the most perfect weekend that I can imagine. Bob mentioned to me once in an insignificant conversation over the phone, that he likes a smooth, soft, shaved pussy. At the time he mentioned this I remember thinking that it made me a little sad because I just did not think I could do that. I suppose to a great many people that sounds odd. I think though, that anytime I do something that alters my body in an extreme manner however slight it may seem to others, it is a bit on the scary side. An example is cutting my hair. It changes the way you feel and see yourself get an extreme hair cut. Another example is tanning. I love the way my skin looks with a tan. When spring comes and I realize how pale I have gotten, after the skin starts to become brown it just makes me feel good.There is something about having dark skin that is just so sexy. I could explain with more examples but I don't think it is necessary. Last night I was taking a bubble bath . I had the candles lit and music on with scented bath oil, gardenia which is my favorite. I began to shave my legs. I had shaving cream on the first leg. It looked so beautiful in the candlelit room, raised high above the water, creamy and white, it made me imagine it was whipped cream being licked from ankle to pussy. I took the razor and very slowly and lightly began to make the journey from my ankle up my thigh and to the crease between my leg and torso. When I finished this I began with the other leg and as I did, I imagined Bob was sitting behind me and I was leaning into his chest. I could almost feel his arms underneath mine reaching around to cup my breasts with his soft hands. It was a beautiful scene. We weren't talking or laughing, we were just being quietly together feeling each others warm, wet skin touching each other. I let my mind take me on a journey with him taking his hand all sudsy and warm sliding it down my belly and in between my legs, spreading them slightly apart with his fingers. The gap was just wide enough that he could place his finger over my clit and barely inside of my pussy. As I think of this, the thought of the warm water and smell of gardenias with the flickering candles and Eric Clapton singing "Wonderful Tonight" softly playing, with Bob lightly caressing my clit with one hand and pinching my nipple with the other hand it is overwhelming. After thinking about this I gave some thought to what he had said about shaving my pussy. I thought what a huge grin he would have if he lifted my skirt this time to find a bare, naked pussy. That was it. I stood up, lathered myself from naval to thighs and I actually kissed the razor and began. It was such an odd sensation. I watched each time I rinsed the razor as the hair floated away and it was so intensely pleasurable. There are some things that I just cannot put into words. When I was finished, I took the shower head from its perch and ran the hot water over my abdomen and down my legs and then in between them for a final rinse of my new pussy, I don't know how much is mental and how much is physical but my God it felt so good. Once again, just by letting go and accepting a minimal risk I had experienced the most sensational rush. It scares me to think of the pleasure I might have gone a lifetime never knowing just because I thought I "might" be doing something wrong or inappropriate. I have to ask myself sometimes when did I let this controlling madness take me over and decide for me who I was going to be and what I was allowed to feel. When all was complete, I lifted a towel from the rack and smelled it drinking in the softness and fragrance of a newly laundered towel then began to dry off. When I reached the freshly shaven area I had a slight pleasurable moment as the towel seemed to float over my smooth abdomen and between my legs and gently into my pussy making it completely dry. It was time for inspection. I went into my room and stood before a full length mirror and let the towel go, dropping to the floor around my feet. There it was. I studied the sight for a moment and then I ran my hands across the entire area from abdomen to inner thighs and right back up between the opening of my pussy. It was so amazing. I cannot believe the feeling that emerges after the hair is removed. I am beginning to understand why he likes a soft smooth pussy, I think I do to. I admired my work for a few more minutes and took my hands and let them wander completely over the entire area once again. I put my fingers slightly inside the bare and visible lips of my pussy and spread them gently apart. It was incredible. I decided to get a chair and sit in front of the mirror and see if the new improved pussy could thrill me with the same intensity of the old model. I sat in front of the mirror with legs spread to reveal myself in a different way than ever before. I was so aroused by the sight of the mirror image. I placed two fingers of one hand over my clit and began to massage the clit very lightly and it began to show it's appreciation almost immediately. I relaxed back into the chair and let my back arch and my head fell back where I was no longer able to see myself in the mirror. I didn't care about the mirror anymore, all I cared about was the raging heat and waves of pleasure flowing through me at that moment. I could feel the orgasm building as it overpowered me and rendered me completely helpless to it's eventual eruption from between my legs. I have to admit that when I let myself cum I was weak and dizzy and tears filled my eyes from just being so pleased with myself. I did this. I did it completely alone by just letting myself go. I cannot explain it better than this at this moment. It was so worth it. It is my plan to meet Bob this weekend wearing a white short skirt. I don't plan to wear anything under it and I have a shear red blouse with a bustier underneath. I am thinking white thigh high stockings with lace at the top and the highest heels I have, about 4 inches. That will put me at about five feet and 9 inches with legs that go all the way to heaven. I get so aroused just thinking about what he will look like when he raises my skirt. I can hardly bare to think about the sensations of his mouth on me and his tongue exploring every inch of the new and improved playground that I am going to offer to him. I called this a preface but perhaps it should be called a tease. I am teasing a bit because I cannot possibly write what is to happen this weekend before it takes place. That being said, I am so excited and completely overflowing with lust right now I thought those who like to read my diary would enjoy the anticipation with me. This is my gift to you. We will anticipate the outcome together only I will get the details first. I have had so many fantasies about this weekend, that I am sure they won't all happen. As I have mentioned previously Bob has made some specific promises to me of things he has planned for me this weekend. One of them is being blindfolded. I have tried to imagine this over these last weeks. I think it would be an erotic experience in the bedroom but going out into the night air with the sounds and the open space, the air or breeze tickling me and the slightly uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what is about to happen makes me so aroused. My body just takes it's lead from my mind and within moments of this thought it starts to do wonderful things. My nipples become so erect and hard that they actually throb. My pussy becomes wet and aches in a way that makes me grin. Even my lips have a sensation that just beg to be kissed. When I add the anticipation of the additional act of tying my hands behind me I almost have to sit down. I have to admit that honestly even though excited and aroused I really am afraid. It took me a long time to be in control of myself and my life. For the first time I am about to surrender complete control to a man that I have only known 2 months. It is a huge step for me. I think though that this experience may be the most erotic and pleasurable thing I have ever done because of the unknown factor. When he told me he would have surprises for me my mind went into overdrive trying to imagine what these might be. I have imagined so many possibilities but what a powerful sensation the incredible building of bliss and arousal and lust all together because my mind knows something is going to happen to me but it doesn't know what, so it is unable to prepare me for this. It is so very intriguing to think about. I am sure that whatever happens to me this weekend will be far better than even I imagine. I heard in a song one time a line that went " I feel sorry for anyone that isn't me tonight". Maybe a little arrogant but please forgive this and understand that I wish everyone could be me right now. My life may not stay this way forever or even for long, I just try to live each day and fill it with as much ecstasy and pleasure as I can. Until my next entry I want to say thank you to all of those who have encouraged me to continue this journey and have given me the great comments regarding writing about it. I would like to extend heartfelt gratitude to all Veterans, their families and I salute those who never made it home. Happy Memorial day, you are remembered. My sincerest THANKS!!! Diary Of "L" Entry 04 Entry 4 The Date My date was more than I expected, although, not every detail of my fantasy was realized. I think this is why these fantasies are really just daydreams . They build the anticipation in my mind as well as the excitement arousing the rest of my body. To fulfill a complete fantasy would be most definitely a heavenly experience . However, to use that fantasy as a working outline to make the entire experience as fulfilling as possible seems more like reality. I woke up the day I was to have my exciting date feeling like I was high on adrenaline. My posture was a little straighter, my smile a little bigger and a definite bounce in my step. I retrieved all necessary items for my outfit and tried them on. Something just did not strike me right about the chosen outfit, so, I did a woman thing. I made last minute changes. I put on a short white skirt, about four inches above the knees. It had six buttons down the front. I decided on a black bustier that hooked up the front Victorian style, making my size 40 DD breasts push up, creating a deep cleavage. I complimented this with a white linen blouse that had some light green designs running down each side of the buttons. The buttons were fastened only halfway up to reveal the black bustier and well defined cleavage. I placed dangling earrings in my ears that sported small green rhinestones, and complimented them with a silver necklace. The last thing was white thigh highs with three inch tops of white lace. Then I slipped my feet into a pair of black paten leather high heels with a four inch heel. I checked myself out in my full length mirror, turning from side to side and then completely around. The rear view included a bending forward view of the rear to make sure that when I bent forward the tops of the stockings were visible. This pose offered a peek of the cheeks of my ass .as well. It was perfect and I thought down right delicious. I added all the other accoutrements including the makeup, really great lip color and gloss then finally the perfume Rapture, by Victoria's Secret which is my favorite. I was ready to go. I drove about fifty miles to meet Bob and when I arrived he was waiting for me and met me at my car. I opened the door with a huge grin, I was feeling pretty sexy. I also felt pretty confident that he would see this same vision. I was right. I was expecting one of those passionate, long kisses that he does so well, but instead he gave me a mischievous grin and just brushed my lips. We were at an abandoned park. We had acres of privacy, just like he promised. He looked at me said "hello" and began to unbutton my skirt to reveal my newly shaven pussy for inspection. He unbuttoned each button slowly, looking me in the eye with each button as if he expected me to complain or stop him. It was broad daylight and close enough to a main highway that I could easily see the automobiles passing. I felt a twinge of worry but was overpowered by the excitement. He continued to my bustier and unhooked several hooks until my breasts were free and exposed fully with nipples standing at attention just for him. He seemed very pleased and leaned in to cup and suck each one, welcoming them to our party. When finished with this he placed his hand between my legs and he admired my clean shaven pussy by lightly running his hand over first the outer area then he slipped his hand between my legs and remarked about the wetness. I was grinning at him when he asked me if I enjoyed being "a horny slut". I replied, "Yes I did very much". His response was a long, slow kiss with moist soft lips. He then slipped his tongue between my lips for an exploration of my tongue and mouth in the gentlest and most sensuous way. I wanted him to take me right then and put his cock anywhere he desired with the same permission for his hands and tongue. He is not like this though. He takes the time to build and build the anticipation until I am practically begging him to have his way, whatever that might be, with me. When he completed the kiss, he took me by the hand and we walked in the direction of the picnic site. It was difficult to walk in the grass with the heels so I removed them and walked in stocking feet carrying the heels. My skirt is held together with only the button at the waist, revealing my naked abdomen, pussy and the tops of the thigh highs. My shirt is open and the bustier is halfway undone so that my breasts with erect nipples are completely exposed. The air tickling them ever so slightly. It was amazing at how comfortable I felt. He remarked several times that he was so proud of me. He thought I might not be able to do this in the middle of the afternoon. I felt deep down that this man would never let anything bad happen to me. This made me very anxious to please him. Once at the picnic table he had me sit on the concrete table top and he placed himself directly in front of me on the bench. This arrangement left him with perfect vision of my pussy. He asked me to spread my legs for him and with great pleasure I did this. A soft, smooth and very wet pussy was instantly available to him for his any pleasure. I could feel the gentleness of the breeze flickering across the wetness. This reminded me of how completely exposed I was. The entire experience brought that now familiar ache between my legs. I was reminded yet again that I had little control over what my mind convinces my body it needs. Bob looked at me for some time. He then slowly but precisely placed two fingers just inside my wet pussy sending waves of excitement through my body. My nipples already stiff and aching began to throb begging for attention. I could hear the moans escaping from my mouth as he began to search out the Gspot while paying careful attention to my clit. This with all the additional intrigue of the open space at the park and the sounds of near by traffic was ecstasy at it's finest. I held this feeling inside of me moaning loudly with every move of his fingers. Finally, whether I wanted it or not, my body took control and with one moan that escaped as loudly as I can ever remember, my body shivered and arched. The muscles in my pussy clamped around his fingers. I stayed that way for a very long moment. Just as he started to slide his fingers away from my pussy, it tensed itself into another orgasm surprising me and Bob. When I had recovered from this experience for a few minutes, He got up from the bench and walked to a comfortable distance from me beside the table. He took my hand and placed it around his hard cock and I began to stroke it for him. I used my other hand to massage his balls. After just moments of this, I bent my head slightly down to fill my warm mouth with his throbbing cock and I began to suck. He instructed to suck harder so I did. Then even harder and I complied. Then he moaned for me to squeeze his balls. I did this. The moans from his body were taking me right back to where I had just come from. I could feel every fiber in my body on fire. I was no longer in control of myself and submitted completely to this man. Only hearing him, only feeling the heat pulsing through me with the intensity of a raging fever. This went on for quite some time probably a half hour or forty five minutes and I don't really remember why but we both stopped, probably from exhaustion. We spoke only a few words and Bob took my hand and helped me from the picnic table. My legs were those of a sailor who had been at sea on rough water. They barely felt capable of holding me up much less taking me places on their own accord. He just held my hand and kept me close. Making sure that the journey back to his place was easy for me. Once we were inside, I turned to him and requested something to drink. He smiled and first pulled me close, finishing disrobing me completely. I stood there just smiling in absolutely nothing except white thigh high stockings. He motioned for me to take a seat in a nearby soft easy chair that rocked. It felt soft and smooth against my bare skin and exposed pussy. After I was seated he turned to open a bottle of chilled champagne and poured me a glass. It felt so sweet as the bubbles tickled my nose when I sipped. I could feel the warmth of the wondrous drink as it flowed through my mouth and made it's way into my body. Bob sat down in a chair across from me and just grinned. I think he enjoyed the view. He spoke shortly after sitting and in a cool and pleasant manner asked me to play with myself.. I set my drink down carefully and began to massage my pussy with a familiarity I was beginning to become accustomed to. I closed my eyes and just let my body relax while moving my finger in an up and down motion just over my clit. Sometimes I would take my entire hand and run it completely over my pussy from front to back. There were a couple of times when I took that hand away from my pussy and placed all four fingers in my mouth and softly sucked the wetness from them, smelling the scent as I did. I could feel his gaze. I was being submissive but I felt like I was in control. I loved every erotic minute of it. Once I had done this until the pleasure of it all again brought me to an eruption of pure pleasure, I sat quietly. After a moment, I opened my eyes and he was staring at me with the most compassionate look. I lifted my glass and I raised it in his direction and I toasted him saying, "To You". Then I drank drenching a throat that was parched from moaning over and over again from pleasure that could not be silenced. Bob just smiled. Without warning, he picked up his camera and began to take my picture. I was surprised. I have never had a nude photo taken. It felt odd when he later showed me the pictures and quietly said, "Now that's sexy". After we sat and talked for awhile, Bob stood up and walked over to me with his cock out and erect. He had cum that was just dripping from the head and he asked me to lick it off. I did this and then pulled it back into my mouth and began to lick and suck. I ran my hands easily down to his balls and gathered them in one hand while I began to stroke his cock at the base with the other. I could tell by the slight tremors of his hard cock that he was at a place in his mind and his body where he wanted to be. I intended for him to be there as long as he wanted. This communion would last for about 45 minutes. This was not a time when Bob would explode in orgasm as usual but just finally rest back into his chair completely satisfied. As we gazed out the window we became aware that the darkness had settled in. Bob stood up and pulled me up with his hand. We walked out into the night. I was still only in my white stockings. The night air was wonderful. It was balmy and the magnolia trees were in bloom. It was almost a complete full moon, which was the extent of the light. We walked back to the picnic table and I watched inquisitively as Bob took charge. He was carrying something in his hand and now it was revealed. It was a role of black tape that he had purchased at the adult store. He asked me to turn around with my back to him and he firmly took one arm and placed it behind me. I could hear the tape being pulled from the roll and then placed around my wrist. He pulled my other arm firmly behind me and bound it together with the first. It was so exciting. The rush of the unknown, the anticipation of what was to be next. I was so wet in my pussy and my nipples felt so tight and hard it was if they were being pinched with incredible pressure. Bob helped me to bend forward placing my head gently down with my shoulders on the cool surface of the covered table. After several moments with nothing being said I felt his hands as they firmly took my hips on each side keeping me in a steady position. He then moved carefully in behind me and he put his cock to the back of my pussy where I could feel it teasing me. The feeling of being bound and unable to use my hands for anything was amazing. He began to fuck me with a steady motion moving in and out and deeper and deeper. I could hear the sounds coming from my mouth and they sounded guttural. The moans were indistinctive between pleasure and pain. I turned my head from side to side, never struggling to free myself. I felt this odd sensation of acceptance. Though bound and completely at the mercy of this man, somehow I felt strong and proud. I felt like no matter what happened from this moment on I was now in a different league of passion and eroticism than I had ever experienced before. He mounted me time and again. The table was just high enough that I had to stay on my tip toes for the entire time that he continued to fuck me. This meant that my calf muscles were completely tensed for quite some time. At one point I had gotten hair in my mouth and I softly asked him to help me. With no words spoken he bent over me and gently removed the hair from my mouth and wiped it from my face. As the night went on he became more and more aroused. I could hear his breath shorten with each thrust. As I was beginning to feel comfortable with what was happening, suddenly, without warning I heard a loud slapping noise and it was followed by a stinging sensation that burned the delicate skin on my butt cheeks. I gasped and just as I caught my breath, he spanked the other cheek. The surprise caught me off guard and my mind was reeling. In a moment he did it again. As I stood there unable to come down from my tiptoes feeling the burn and sting, trying to take what was happening in, I felt the heat and ache in my pussy become overpowering. I felt the muscles in my pussy tighten around his cock in a spasm . I had long lost the ache in my calves leaving them numb when I heard a moan that came from deep within him. It escaped from his mouth with the sound and force of a battle cry before leading troops onto the battle field. His sound was what lead me to my final orgasm and falling from my toes to my feet in one motion. I was sure that I could not stand. Bob steadied me and gently unbound my hands, then he kissed me in the moonlight in the most gentle way. We stood together for some time just holding each other. After what seemed like forever, he held me by my hand and we slowly made our way back to his place once again. Once inside, he poured me another glass of champagne and we sat across from each other naked. I was so relaxed and happy that it felt like we had been like this forever. In reality though this was another first. After I enjoyed my champagne for some time, we decided we were spent from the afternoon and evenings activities. We made our way to the bed. I had not slept a complete night in another man's bed in more than 17 years. I laid my head on the pillow with Bob's warm arm around me and I drifted into a deep sleep. Life was good, I was happy and satisfied with myself and my partner. In the morning when we awoke, we dressed for breakfast. I had remained in the white thigh stockings all night and without thinking I just slipped my kaki pants on leaving the stockings intact. As we walked to the car I realized you could see the outline of the lace tops through the kaki pants. I immediately inquired if I should quickly go fix this but his answer was a very definite "no". When we returned from breakfast, Bob surprised me with an invitation to taste my newly shaven pussy. I admit I had been a little disappointed that this had not happened. Looking back at the experience though it just hadn't been the right time so far. I was very happy to accommodate the suggestion. I hurried to the bathroom and made myself presentable for this rendezvous, making myself fresh. Before I got to Bob's place on the previous day, I made a quick stop at the store. I bought some candy cherries. Right before I joined him in the bed I inserted one of the candy cherries in my new pussy right at the entrance. I guess my thinking was new pussy, new cherry. I am brilliant. After I inserted it all I could think of was having it removed. Bob laid himself across the bed. I with not the most grace, made my way on my knees across his shoulders and above his head and so slowly lowered myself down to his face. The intense rush of his warm wet mouth greeting the newly shaven pussy was immeasurable. As he took his hands to help me be perfectly centered for him he eased his fingers to my clit. I just melted. His tongue began to explore every part of my clit and pussy with insistence on covering all possible areas. I remember thinking that this was a point where one could easily pass out from the pure ecstasy of it all. I held on and without realizing it my lower body had begun to move forward slowly causing my pussy to move back and forth across his welcoming mouth, tongue and tip of his nose.. I was drenched in sweat, saliva and cum. It was so perfect. The licking and sucking and massaging the clit seemed to be so much more pleasurable with the clean shaven area. Every contact was directly to the skin. I had discovered virgin skin that had never felt the pleasure of a mans tongue and mouth. It was like spreading warm creamy butter on a soft yeast roll fresh from the oven. It just worked and complimented the entire process. I was in a state of continual orgasm. My pussy and clit and muscles felt like one huge muscle spasm that could not be relaxed until it did so on it's own. It did not last as long as I wished it could have but I was too aroused and excited and when I climaxed over the top of his warm breath at the entrance of his mouth it shook me and drained me. The end result was so fully engaged within me that my muscles in my legs and thighs were cramped. I had to stop and regain composure of my physical body. I just fell to his side and moaned and grinned while waiting for the muscles to relax themselves. Once this was accomplished and my breath back in my longs, I asked Bob if he had found my cherry. He grinned and said with a really happy face, "Yes"! After resting for a brief time, he pulled me close to him, kissed me and then entered me with a very hard cock. He pumped it in me quick and hard for a very short time and then he let out my favorite sound, that being the gratified and satisfied moan of a man who has just let go of everything he has. He was mine now. I had a part of him inside me and it belonged to me when he was finished. I turned to him and he to me and we napped the rest of the afternoon. When we woke up in a couple of hours to the phone ringing, I realized I had to leave soon. I was so sad that the date was finally over. It was difficult to know how to end this date. I gathered my things together and we talked about trivial things together both knowing that the end was here. He showed me the photographs he had taken and deleted the ones I did not like. Finally, we kissed and he walked me to my car. He helped me in with my things and we smiled at each other as I began to back away. I thought he looked a little sad to see me go. I was a little sad to leave. I loved everything about the date. There are many more things to do. I want to say that being spanked at the height of a pleasurable moment is something to be experienced. It does not bring about the feelings that I connected to being spanked. I have to say though, it must be something shared by two people who trust each other and are anxious to go somewhere different. To realize that it is not the hitting or the implication that one is a bad person. I found it a means of a higher sensitization of my skin and my mind. I felt good about the experience. I don't think it would be something for every encounter but I believe there is definitely a time and place for it in your own erotica. Being bound was even more pleasurable to me. I think again, trust is at the top of the important scale for this. I also think that the attitude of the person who is not bound should always reflect that they are not going to let anything bad happen. Unless someone requests to be frightened, I feel like it should be more of a trust building experience. Diary of Ms. Pennington's Assistant Preface: I, Reginald P. Walcott, am a 37 year old professional bitch-slave, and until recently worked in the service of Ms. Beatrice Pennington of the law firm Kale, Pennington, and Shipwright. As of this writing I am approaching what would be my tenth year anniversary in this line of work. How, one might ask, does one become a professional bitch-slave? That is the question to which I have turned my attention in this prologue and the collection of diary excerpts that will follow. This diary was, I think, an attempt to make sense of the life into which I found myself bound. My résumé, which I have unfortunately had cause to circulate recently, does not list my most recent position as "bitch-slave", but instead refers to me as a "Personal Assistant." I have a wonderful letter of recommendation in hand that not only refers to me as an "assistant" but also plays up the more professional business activities I occasionally engaged in. However, it has only been quite recently that "Personal Assistant" has become an apropos title. To be certain, the transformation to abject servitude doesn't occur overnight. It is an evolution that is arrived at through a series of compromises that have been interpreted as the valuation of security over pride or the acceptance of complete and utter servitude as the price of not being lonely. One gives an inch, and a foot is extracted. Each compromise signaled to my mistress a lower plateau to which I was willing to sink - all for a price that was pocket change to her. My mistress used this gradual approach, and it made me forget that I once had boundaries and that there were once actions taboo. If my mistress had tried to test my limits all at once I might have remembered that I was a person, and the primal attachment I had to her would not have yet been forged. I don't know why I succumbed to all the demands made of me by Ms. Pennington. Fear, insecurity, guilt, loneliness, or secret urges in the dark recesses of my subconscious mind, any or all of these may have been responsible. There is a brief answer to the question of how one becomes a bitch-slave. At least I can say how I came to this career path. I worked in a job that involved nearly no self-satisfaction, but, instead, consisted of menial tasks done entirely for the benefit of others. However, it is not enough to just work in such a position, but one must do it exceedingly well. I thought I was invisible, but there were those who noticed. Good bitch-slave material is, apparently, not easily come by. Soon another person was offering me almost twenty-five thousand dollars more a year for what seemed at the time like only a marginal increase in debasement. Why the term "bitch-slave"? Personally, I believe that Mistress Pennington favored calling me a "boy-whore" or "boy-slave". From my perspective, "whore" was more apropos in that I got paid for my service. From Pennington's perspective, "boy-whore" presented the additional benefit of ridiculing me as underdeveloped as a man. Without further ado, I will present you with some illustrative excerpts from my diary so as to give you insight into my talent for subservience and how I came to develop it. July 28, 2000: I received a call today from a secretary at one of the best law firms in town. She said that her employer, Ms. Pennington, had been told that I was a loyal and competent assistant, and was looking for someone to replace an employee who had recently been terminated. She asked if I would be interested in interviewing for the position. While "loyal and competent" made it sound like I was a mediocre dog, I was open to any change that might provide some break from my depressingly mundane existence. The secretary cleverly intimated that Pennington would be willing to offer a salary considerably greater than my current wage. I said I would gladly take the interview. The secretary gave me the home address of Ms. Pennington, and told me to be there at 9:00am on the following Wednesday. August 2, 2000: I have a good feeling about my interview. I tried to size up Ms. Pennington as an employer the same way she was clearly sizing me up as a potential employee. I suspect she did a better job of this than I. I had trouble getting a read on her beyond the superficial, and even at that level she was a study in contrasts. She is a natty dresser. She wore an expensive pinstriped pantsuit over an ivory blouse. It all looked crisp, as though she had never worn it before. Her prematurely silvered hair was worn in a tight bun, and not a single strand was out of place. She's a bosomy woman, and the low open neckline of her blouse showed off her impressive and considerable cleavage. Here was the first ambiguity to be reconciled. That is, the contrast between the schoolmarm hairdo, the Wall Street ensemble, and the barely contained fleshy orbs that were straining to break free from the blouse. Her demeanor was stern, but yet she seemed to have a sense of humor. She spent a number of minutes making infinitely clear that this was a personal assistant position and was paid for from her own funds. Therefore, I would be expected to conduct tasks that would be beyond the scope of work of a person hired by the firm. She said she had had to let five previous Personal Assistants go because they eventually refused to do personal chores she assigned them. I indicated that I understood that I would have to pick up her dry cleaning, get her coffee, and perform any number of other chores that secretaries tend to get chaffed about doing because they are not related to the firm's work. She then turned the conversation on its head and asked me to describe precisely what I was unwilling to do. I said, intending to convey a little levity, "Well, I wouldn't commit a homicide." Pennington paused a moment before showing her own dry jocularity. "Those terms are acceptable." Shortly thereafter she dismissed me... August 3, 2000: Pennington's secretary at the firm called me. She asked if I was still interested in a position as Ms. Pennington's personal assistant. I said I was. She told me to report to Ms. Pennington's home at 8:00am on Monday the 7th... August 7, 2000: I got to Ms. Pennington's about 15 minutes early, and I decided to wait a few moments as she seemed the kind who would be just as displeased with too early as too late. I hoped no one would call the cops as I loitered outside the wall of Pennington's estate. This was a neighborhood of multimillion dollar homes. Even in business attire, loitering around outside someone's house might attract attention. The wall reminded me of Pennington's cleavage. It was a salmon stucco wall with deeply plunging downward arches that were filled in by ornate wrought iron bars. It was consistent with the plantation hacienda theme of the building's exterior. At any rate, if one looked at two sections of the wall it took the shape of a couple ample bosoms. At five minutes till eight, I poked the button on the intercom. "Jess? Ouw may I help you." It was the housekeeper, Juanita, whom I had met on the day of my interview. "I am Reginald Walcott, Ms. Pennington's secretary told me to come in this morning to start a personal assistant position." "O-kay. Come in." An electronic buzz and metallic click punctuated her sentence, and I was able to push the wrought iron gate open. When I got to the door, Juanita opened it and stood aside for me to enter. "Chee is in de bedroom." Juanita said and motioned for me to follow. I thought the matronly live-in maid would take me to living room to wait, but, after passing from the foyer through a dining room set for twenty and past a tidy but well-stocked library, we entered what was clearly a residential wing of the building. "Der you are. Have a nice day." Juanita motioned to the door in front of me. "Isn't there someplace I should wait for Ms. Pennington?" I inquired. "No, she would like to see you." Juanita said and waved the backs of her hands at me with an urgency and exasperated look that indicated that I should be moving along now. I wrapped tentatively on the door, uncomfortable with visiting the boudoir of my female boss so early in the morning. I feared that Juanita incorrectly interpreted Pennington's wishes, and now I would get in trouble for it. "Enter." Pennington commanded. I meekly did as I was told and found Pennington in a white dimpled cotton robe sitting at a small table next to one of the room's windows, which were exceedingly tall taking advantage of the high ceilings of the old mansion. Her hair was still wet and cascaded down in graceful undulations to just below her shoulders. While her hair was gray it was also thick and lustrous. "You are late." Pennington stated. I consulted my precisely set watch and found that it was now a few seconds after 8:00am. The watch was the one possession I owned that I couldn't really afford. From cuff to finger tip I might be confused for one of the fabulously rich and famous. It had taken five minutes to negotiate the front lawn and to meander back to the farthest reaches of the house. "I'm sorry. I got here early but didn't realize it would take so long to navigate your estate." "No excuses, just don't do it again. I suspect it shouldn't be a problem from now on because you will be here an hour earlier so that you can get my coffee, bring me my paper and said coffee, and draw my bath before I get out of bed. Juanita will give you a key and your own code for the alarm in case it is ever still set when you arrive. Do not let it go off under any circumstance. Understand?" "Yes ma'am." I replied subserviently. "Now grab the dryer and hairbrush and make yourself useful." Pennington ordered as she turned back to her paper. There was a master bath through a door off her bedroom. Everything meticulously neat and in its place, and it was not hard to find the cordless hair dryer and a hairbrush. I returned to where Pennington was sitting and stood waiting. She snapped her paper back into a folded position. Her only other concession to facilitating my allotted task was to lean sharply over in the chair so that her hair hung freely. I began to brush through her hair with the brush in one hand while moving the dryer with other hand an in up-and-down motion. It was my best, yet uncoordinated, attempt to emulate the stylists I had seen though plate glass windows as I walked around the city. I had little experience with hair brushing and drying as my own hair was kept quite short as part of an overall clean-shaven motif that I displayed, and which I suspect factored into being offered this job. "Less heat, and not so close." Pennington commanded. I understood her concern. Her hair had a shampoo ad quality about it that she wouldn't want some novice ruining. I turned the heat off altogether and backed the dryer away a little. I was doing much better until I got momentarily mesmerized by an unexpected sight. In leaning over from one side to the other, the lapel of Pennington's robe had puckered outward, and I found myself looking at the full outline of her pale, soft, and gracefully convex breast. Pennington seemed unfazed by her immodesty, but I was snapped out of my ogling when she commented that I was dawdling in one place too long. It occurred to me that it would not at all do to be caught staring at the boss's boob on my first day. I did not want to establish myself as a pervert. As I was splitting my awareness between the task at hand and worry about getting fired on my first day and the indelible mark on my resume that would result, Pennington turned her chair 90-degrees and leaned forward throwing her hair from back to front so that it hung down such that her face was obscured. I knelt down to adjust to her now lower form. From this lower position there was no escaping notice that both of her pendulous breasts hung straight down like her hair, but one of them had managed to escape its confines altogether and was now entirely outside the loose "V" of her lapels. "You have beautiful hair." I commented to break a silence that had lasted too long, and to distract myself from starring at the lovely breast. She did not acknowledge the complement, but instead gave another command. "In the top drawer of that dresser are bra and panties, bring me a pair of white cotton." I turned brusquely to obey the command, figuring that I would give her an opportunity to tuck the errant breast back into her robe. I put the dryer and brush on the dresser and opened the top drawer. The fastidious order of the drawer's contents made it easy to find a pairing to fit her description. As I turned back around, I was stopped for a moment in my tracks. My previous concerns were made moot. Ms. Pennington had assumed a standing position and was in the process of shrugging out of the robe. She draped the robe over the back of her chair, and was standing stark naked in front of me. I quickly averted my eyes as I brought the undergarments toward her from across the expansive master bedroom. Was this trap, a test, a seduction? It turned out to be none of the above. "Why are you looking at the ceiling? Are you trying to tell me that I am so repulsive that my nude form makes you look away?" Pennington inquired. "No, not at all. You're a..." I broke the sentence off because I was completely at a loss as to how to finish it in a manner that wouldn't incriminate or offend. It was true that I did not have any trouble at all looking at the nude Pennington. For a woman in her mid-forties, she was attractively built, and was elegantly proportioned for a woman with such impressively sized and shaped breasts. While she was not like the celebrity 45 year olds who had the preternatural bodies of 23 year old Pilates instructors, neither was she by any means unappealing. Yet, I didn't think that complementing the physique of my nude boss was a strategically sound maneuver. "I'm a what?" Pennington did not let the sentence drop. "I just thought you might like some privacy." I replied. "Oh, I see. You are under the misapprehension that I care whether you see me naked, or about what you might think about my naked form. Let me assure you that I am completely indifferent. If you were a... a man, that would be different, but you're just a servant." Pennington said. While I found that to be emasculating phrasing, I assumed she had just succumbed to ineloquent word choice. What she meant to say, I consoled myself, was that, because there was no possibility of romantic interest between us due to our professional relationship, she was not bothered by me seeing her naked. That is what I hoped she meant any way, but part of me suspected I was rationalizing her rude behavior. She stretched out her arms before her. I thought for just an instant that she might be offering me a half-hearted hug, but then realized she was just allowing me to slip on the straps of her bra. I couldn't believe that she was really expecting me to dress her. I was so flustered that I started the put the bra on the wrong side up. Slipping on the bra wasn't challenging, and neither was hooking it. However, the part in between that involved getting her breasts into a bra cups with minimal manhandling and groping was no easy task, particularly because Ms. Pennington was so amply endowed. I moved slowly, hoping that she would take over when I got to the point at which she was uncomfortable with a complete stranger handling her bare breasts, but that moment never came. I finally just took the risk. I lifted her twin orbs into cups, and smoothed the fabric under them. I hooked the bra, and then realized I had her panties looped over my wrist. I knelt down, and she lifted her feet one at a time so that I could align the leg wholes, and then I pulled the underwear up. By now I was getting over the initial shock and I ran a finger under the elastic across her butt cheeks to make certain they were comfortable and not binding. It seemed unlikely that the back of my finger brushing her ass was going to offend her at this point. I did the same in the front at the crease of her hip. "Come. You'll hand me pins." Pennington commanded. I followed her into a palatial master bath. It was massive and every square inch was tiled with, no doubt, some rare form of marble. At one end there was a shower big enough to accommodate about 10 people simultaneously, and that had three levels of shower heads on each of three walls. At the other end there was a hot-tub sized bath on a raised platform. Perhaps three people could fit comfortably in the tub with its tightly-spaced pulsing jets. We took up position at the twin lavatory sinks that were midway between the shower and bath and that were suitable for hordes but used by only one. In the European style, apparently the toilet was in a different room all together. I was happy to see that she didn't expect me to do her hair, as I would have no idea how. She only required me to hand her the bobby pins that she used to put it up in the same tight bun I had seen her wear on the day of my interview. It was one of the many enigmas of Ms. Pennington. She had beautiful hair, but yet she wore it so that no one could possibly tell. If she had displayed a proclivity toward modesty all around, I could have more easily grasped it. However, her confident display of cleavage belied modesty. "Are you ogling me Reggie?" Pennington asked. I had been. I was not looking directly at her, but rather at her reflection in the mirror. What did this woman want? If I looked away, she gave me a fit; and if I was caught staring into her cleavage, she also rebuked me. I didn't know what to say, so I just said. "Sorry, Ms. Pennington." She went on about her business as if nothing had happened. I made a mental note to make this my go-to strategy. Don't make excuses, don't argue, just apologize. The rest of the day was decidedly less unusual... August 8, 2010: I added 15 minutes to the one hour earlier that I had been told to show up. I let myself in with the key that Juanita had given me, and, fortunately, Juanita was already up and about and the alarm had been deactivated. I had memorized the code and procedure for disarming it the night before just in case, but was still afraid I was going to set it off. It was the one offense that seemed like it would be beyond being rectified with a simple apology. Juanita was a godsend in that she was a font of useful information. Despite having the humorless appearance of a Tijuana women's prison guard, the woman was extremely helpful in aiding my navigation of the minefield that was Ms. Pennington. Perhaps the most helpful of her tips this morning was about the timing and coordination of the coffee, bath, and wake up Trifecta. If the timing was off by a little, either the coffee, the bath, or both might be too hot or too cold for Pennington's taste. Juanita knew Pennington's rhythms, despite the fact that she apparently went to great efforts to minimize her contact with the woman. Juanita confided that, while she had worked for Pennington for 15 years as a live-in servant, she frequently went days without more than a passing glance at the woman. The secret, she said, was to be incredibly fastidious. If Pennington could always find what she was looking for and everything was clean and orderly, then the only time Juanita needed to see Pennington was on the relatively rare nights when she was home early enough to need to be served dinner. After drawing the bath, I went back to the kitchen and brought back the coffee piping hot in a thermos with a cup on the side. Ms. Pennington did not like to awake to harsh sounds. This was part of the reason that letting the security alarm go off was one of the few mistakes that seemed to result in automatic firing. It also meant that an alarm clock was not an option. So I gently approached and put my hand on her shoulder. I rocked her gingerly as I repeated "Ms. Pennington" in a forceful whisper. Diary of Ms. Pennington's Assistant "Yes." She awoke and looked up at me. She seemed startled for an instant. She had most certainly come out of a sound sleep to notice a man whom she was not familiar with waking her. I had had similar experiences waking up in a hotel room, and not being sure where on earth I was. Pennington fairly quickly began to climb out of bed. I was happy about this. I was afraid if she dawdled, the tub and coffee would be cold. Once she was out the king-size bed and standing, she raised both arms skyward. By now her ways were old hat, and I did not hesitate. The logical thought would have been that she was stretching. Instead, I knew that her action was my cue to pull the nightgown off over her head. Due to specialization of labor I could just throw the gown on the bed. Juanita, in her own words, was happy to pick up after me in exchange for not having to do my chores. "Well." I had let Ms. Pennington go into the bathroom alone, and now she was calling out. My first thought was that I had not stoppered the tub properly and it had run empty. I walked into the master bath expecting to see Ms. Pennington standing next to the tub angry and getting cold. Instead, she was in the warm water and soap suds to her armpits with her head laid comfortably back onto a padded head-rest. I looked at her a moment before I figured out that she actually expected me to bath her. I had assumed that bathing was one of those things like putting her hair up that she did on her own. At most I figured I would have to contend with the awkward act of toweling her dry, before taking on the same chores that I had done the previous day. "Sorry, Ms. Pennington." I grabbed a washcloth, walked over to the tub, and sat on one of the steps at the tub's edge. I began to get the cloth wet and soapy. I washed her face with the soapy cloth and then rinsed from a pitcher of water Juanita recommended I put next to the tub. I preceded downward washing one arm at a time from shoulder to finger tips, and rinsing each in turn in the tub. I cupped water in my curved palms to rinse her shoulders because they lay above the water line. I then got to a seemingly intimate part of the process as I had to soap around and under her breasts in order to ensure the cleanliness of her heavy round orbs. Despite my willingness to adjust to what was expected of me, I was still self-conscious about this process. Based on the previous day's experience, washing her breasts too daintily might result in being accused of finding them ugly or of being a wussy, but spending too much time on them, on the other hand, could result in being called a pervert. I didn't try to guess what the middle ground was, but, rather, just tried to not miss anything without getting too engrossed in the task. Her stomach and ribs gave respite from concern. I washed her legs one at a time from the outside hip down to the toes. She lifted the legs to facilitate this so that I could get into the crook of her knee. I was left uncertain about how to negotiate the remainder of the bath. "You missed my pussy. You need to pay more attention." Pennington said when I paused to consider my approach. In truth, I hadn't missed it. It was, in fact, front and center in my mind. If this woman had boundaries, certainly they would reside between her legs, but apparently not. I kneeled at the tub's edge, and reached into the water self-consciously. I used the rag to wash the small mound of pubic hair. Then I worked back over her thick clitoris, inside and outside of the labia, and the perineum. I could not tell whether she was indifferent or enjoying herself. She continued to lay back with her eyes shut. She then moved forward in the tub and leaned over the opposite edge so that I could wash her back and butt. Growing more confident, I washed her anal sphincter and ass cleft without a trace of shyness. Then I drained the tub, and, as the water level fell with surprising rapidity, I took the hand-held showerhead in hand. I tested the water temperature on my own skin, and then began to rinse suds away with the showerhead in one hand while using my other hand to squeegee any soap residue off her body and toward the drain. When I was done, she stood and stepped out of the shower taking my supporting hand in her own to make sure she maintained good footing on the potentially slippery surfaces. She stood on a towel that I had prepositioned on the floor, and stretched her arms out wide. This time it was quite clear that I was expected to towel her dry, but I had a bit of a problem. I had become fully engorged in, what was for me, the rather titillating process of bathing my attractive and curvaceous employer. By the time I realized my dilemma, I could not will myself flaccid. "Do you want me to catch a cold here?" Pennington had dropped her arms and now had her hands on her hips as she looked back at me with a mild form of exasperation. "Could I have a minute?" I inquired. "For what? Unless you are physically ill I suggest you get over here and do your job." She replied. I stood, and there was no way of not noticing the severe tenting in my trousers. "Is that what this is about? You're embarrassed because you got wood giving me a bath?" I was silent as I thought about how to respond. "Well?... There are only two ways to answer the question. Either you got turned on by touching my naked body, or you were so disinterested in doing your job that you were having a sexual fantasy about an altogether different woman... or man... or animal - whatever you are into. So which is it?" She relentlessly continued the interrogation. "The first." I admitted. "Which one is 'the first'?" She was going to make me say it. "Giving you a bath gave me an erection." I clarified. As I was making my admission I had grabbed a towel and begun to towel off Pennington. Again I began with her face and worked my way down. I lifted her heavy tits with one hand and toweled under them with the other. I squatted to dry her pubic patch and legs, and then I helped her into her robe in a gentlemanly fashion. "It's time for my shampoo." Pennington said. She had a styling salon type set-up for this with a chair that tilted back over a sink with a rounded "U"-shaped notch to accommodate her neck. I used the hand-held facet to rinse her hair out thoroughly, while running my fingers through it to expedite getting it wet throughout. Her hair was thick and full of body, and it took a while to get it completely rinsed. I shampooed her hair, rinsed, and repeated the process. The rest of the day was pretty much like yesterday with the day being much less remarkable once we reached the office ... August 21, 2000: When I arrived this morning, Juanita had a box for me from Ms. Pennington that had a folded note taped to it. As Pennington did not seem like the gift giving type, particularly not for modest anniversaries like two weeks of employment, I had no idea what to expect. Even after such a short time in her employ, it should have occurred to me that she would capitalize on her latest breakthrough in humiliation. On Friday she had required me to drop my trousers and boxers. This was in response to my attempt to cover up the development of another boner. She called it was punishment for my attempt to be duplicitous. She proceeded to engage in some mild ridicule of my member, calling it "insubstantial." At any rate, I pulled the note off the box and unfolded it. "This is your new uniform to be worn exclusively for all work on the estate grounds." This was all it said. I now had a rough idea of what to expect was in the box. At least I knew enough to know it would be revealing and humiliating. I winced as I looked into the box. It was a simple stiff brown leather collar with a couple stainless steel D-rings sewn into it. It looked like something that had been purchased at a farm supply store rather than an adult toy store. I got the feeling that Juanita was suppressing a smile, but when I looked up she turned away. I thought about walking out, but I didn't. Before I went to draw Pennington's bath, I put on the collar and stripped off my clothes, stowing them in the pantry. Juanita glanced at me as I walked through the kitchen. I couldn't tell if she was checking me out or was shocked by the nature of her work environment. I suspected Juanita didn't see many naked men of my age and relatively athletic physique, except, perhaps, Pennington's previous assistants. I moved quickly to minimize my exposure. Being nude in front of Pennington was one thing, I had more than seen her naked and she seemed unfazed by nudity. However, it seemed a little odd being undressed in front of Juanita, she seemed like such a conservative older woman. When I entered Pennington's bedroom, she was already awake but not up. She lay on her side curled up in a big duvet and surrounded by pillows of various sizes. She seemed to be staring at an Orientalist painting on the wall that depicted a harem at rest. When I came in she followed me with her eyes as I walked to the master bath and conducted my duties. As usual, I had no idea what she was thinking. When I turned around from kneeling beside the tub, Pennington was standing in the doorframe. "That suits you. I think it will work. You can wear one of Juanita's aprons when you work in the kitchen. I wouldn't want you to get scalded making coffee. Otherwise, I think we'll stick with this." As I approached, she reached out and looped her index finger through one of the D-rings and gave a few sharp tugs as if to make certain it was secure. "Yes, Ms. Pennington." I said subserviently. I had been worn down from any resistance. Each victory I let her have was further enervating to my pride. "It's better if I can tell whether you are having naughty thoughts, isn't it? If there is any hope of training you to be a proper servant, you must not be able to keep secrets." She inquired. "Yes, Ms. Pennington." ... August 30, 2000: ...Bathing Pennington proved an interesting experience this morning. When I got to her nether region, she took the washcloth from my hand and told me to continue until told to stop. As any pretext of my actions being about cleanliness was eliminated, I began to message her clit. Even in the water I could feel her natural lubricant begin to flow as I worked down from her clit to the rim of her vaginal opening. For the first few minutes, she just leaned back placidly. However, she even eventually began to subtly writhe her hips, and her breath would periodically catch. "Ms. Pennington, would you like me to drain the water. I could rinse you with the massage head." I asked. "Certainly, that would be nice, my little boy whore." She agreed. I rinsed down the rest of her body before returning to my appointed task. I did linger a little longer on her breasts than usual, but she did not seem to mind. Her nipples were thick and pointy, and the skin of her areola was tightly wrinkled. Before resuming manually stimulating her, I used the pulse setting on the handheld shower head to pummel her pussy with the spray. She pushed her hips forward into the chop of water. I then began to massage her clit between my thumb and index finger. When she seemed to be approaching climax, I directed the pulse of the shower onto her tightly puckered anal sphincter. She exploded. I sensed that she had been restraining herself earlier. She had not made much in the way of moaning sounds. However, now her whole body was wracked with spasms, and she produced a prolonged moan that I suspect Juanita could hear on the other side of the mansion. When she finished her orgasm, she just lay back as if looking up at the ceiling, but her eyes were closed. I gave her a couple minutes to recover and then spoke. "Ma'am, would you like me to towel you off?" "Yes, Reggie." She said after a pause. I was back to "Reggie" for a minute. While I didn't particularly like the nickname, it was certainly not derogatory like the terms she had often taken to calling me such as "bitch-slave", "bitch-boy", "boy-slave", or just "bitch". "My friend Elena is in town this weekend, and needs some companionship. I told her you could help her Saturday afternoon or evening. I trust that won't be a problem." Pennington inquired without really asking. "Yes, Ma'am." I said. I really didn't have any plans, and, while I was not eager to give up my precious free time, I wanted to keep my limited number of "get out of jail free" cards for when I really needed them.... September 2, 2000: Juanita passed on a message that I was supposed to meet this Elena Petrovskaya at a restaurant called "Ratzi's" at 8:30 Saturday evening. I was not certain what to expect after Pennington told me I was to "help out" her friend as necessary. Did she need furniture moved? Something fixed? Who knew? ... I arrived at Ratzi's a little before 8:30, and told the Maître d' I would be meeting Petrovskaya and that I thought there were reservations in her name. I was surprised when the Maître d' said that Ms. Petrovskaya had already arrived and was seated. This was a surprise. I assumed that any friend of Pennington's would likely make me wait just as a power play to assert her dominance. The woman's punctuality became less of a surprise as I was directed to her table by a waiter. Almost as soon as I entered the restaurant's elegant dining room I noticed the single solitary woman. I observed her throughout my negotiations of the narrow spaces between tables. She seemed to be the anti-Pennington. Her long dark hair had a slightly disheveled quality to it as it flowed down to about the middle of her back. She was a thin woman without the voluptuous curves of Pennington. Beyond physical appearance, her demeanor seemed shy and diffident. She was looking down at a spoon as she twisted it between her thumb and forefinger, and did not notice my approach. When she did become aware of me in her peripheral vision, she looked up, and seemed to have a mild moment of panic. She half rose up to greet me - apparently realizing part of the way to a standing position that, as the woman, she was not expected to do so. This resulted in her standing in the kinked fashion of one who has to pee badly. In this awkward process, she extended the hand that had had the spoon in it to shake my hand and appeared to forget to set it down. The spoon hit the edge of the table and flipped to the floor clattering on the tile with a resounding echo that drew the attention of several of the patrons. Where Pennington was all confidence and control, this woman was awkward and timid. I reasoned that the anti-Pennington couldn't be all bad. It should be noted that there were some superficial similarities between he two women. For one, they were both, in fact, women, and seemed to be of approximately the same age. They both had attractive faces, but in quite different ways. Pennington's face was -ironically - cherubic; whereas Petrovskaya looked like a slightly gaunter version of Uma Thurman. We greeted and sat down. Both my curiosity and the convenience of it as an ice-breaker made me first ask how Elena knew Pennington. She said they had been roommates in their freshmen and sophomore years at a small women's liberal arts college in New England. Pennington had been a double major in Pre-Law and Business Administration, and Petrovskaya studied Chemistry. They stayed in touch even though Pennington moved out of the dorms in her junior year, and, thereafter, Pennington went to Stanford Law while Petrovskaya moved to Urbana-Champaign, Illinois to do her PhD in Chemistry. Petrovskaya now lived in Delaware; she had never been married (another thing she seemed to have in common with Pennington - but I suspect the "why" behind each lady's solitary existence was entirely different); and she worked for a major chemical manufacturer in Delaware. I directed the conversation by asking questions and occasionally volunteering little bits of information about myself to round out the dialogue. However, Petrovskaya did seem to progressively warm up throughout the conversation, and was occasionally asking questions herself by the time the dessert, a delectable tiramisu, was delivered. She did not drink wine, so her growing confidence was not alcohol induced. After dessert, Elena excused herself to go to the lady's room. The check happened to arrive in her absence, and the waiter set it down at Elena's vacated place setting. I thought this odd given that I was the man and the only one at the table at the moment, but figured Elena must have prearranged to get the check. My curiosity brimming, I asked the waiter if Petrovskaya had asked him to deliver the check to her. Embarrassed, he said. "Oh, no... I just assumed... usually...." Flustered, he picked the check back up and began to hand it to me. I said. "No. That's alright. It's fine where it is." The waiter looked at me dumbfounded, probably thinking I was the biggest ass alive, and then turned away to resume his business. I came to the realization that he knew my situation better than I did myself. The violin music in my ears and the taste of espresso in my mouth were all part of the illusion of a date. However, to confuse my condition with that of a date was to invite embarrassment. Elena returned in her floral print sundress that was out of place in this restaurant, but was nonetheless pretty and somehow endearing. She rooted around her purse, found a credit card in a brimming leather pocketbook, and stuck it in the little folding leather check valet. The waiter picked it up in an impressive show of multi-tasking as he was delivering two plates to another table. After a moment or two in silence, I said. "You didn't have to buy me dinner, you know." "Uhh... I know, but if feels more... normal... this way." She said. The waiter soon delivered the check in need of signature. Elena swiftly added in a tip and signed it. Then she paused to finish her drink, and I suspected she was dragging her feet out of nervousness. She just sat quietly. "Madame." I extended my hand across the table. As weird as this had become for me- starting when I made my little revelation- I saw little reason to not make it easier for the painfully shy, but quite likable, Elena. Elena took my hand and stood, and I looked her in the eyes a moment before ushering her toward the exit. "What hotel are you staying at?" I asked. "The Astor Arms." Elena replied. "That's convenient." I noted. And it was, in more ways than one. For one thing, it was only about a block away, but a further benefit was that there was a pharmacy on the corner. Because of a combination of naiveté and a stunning inability to recognize that Pennington had no boundaries, I hadn't prepared adequately ahead of time by stopping at a drugstore before the dinner. I asked Elena how she liked Delaware, and she said it was alright. She added that it was reasonably convenient to get away, as she was now doing. That was a telling statement. "Mind if I run into the pharmacy real quick? I forgot something. I'll be right back." I asked. "Certainly, but if you're going to get condoms, I already have some back in my room." Ironically, after the word "condoms" she realized what she was saying and halved the volume of her speaking voice to a whisper while looking around to see if anyone had heard the first half of her statement. Her awkwardness was so very likeable, and made me smile. "Well, alright then. Let's proceed." I felt no need to continue the ruse. Once in the room, I embraced Elena around the waist, brushed her long hair over her right shoulder, and began to kiss the left side of her neck. It began with a brief kiss on the neck, then working up to her cheek, and then to her lower lip. I took my time without pressing to enter her mouth. Elena was nervous. I could tell by a feint tremor in her voice, a slight tremble in her hands, and a general indecisiveness about how to respond. There was a sweetness about her nature, and her endearing awkwardness gave me impulse to be soft and gentle in my approach. Perhaps, I was enjoying the rare condition of being the more confident one in the partnering. Somehow finding myself in the position of gigolo emboldened me by eliminating all the usual guess work. Diary of Ms. Pennington's Assistant "Am I moving to fast? Would you like to talk for a bit longer?" I asked, holding her hand. "No. It's alright. I like what you are doing. I'm just a little nervous." Elena replied. "Why are you nervous?" "I... I don't do this. I never do this, and I'm not as experienced, as good, as you are used to." She said. "Look I never do this either, but you're pretty and sweet." I tried to put her at ease. She cracked a smile. It was understandable. For all she knew, I was a gigolo. The ironic truth was, fingering Pennington aside, I was far from a gigolo. "Look, I'm not going to judge you. Just relax, enjoy, and let me know if you want to stop." I cupped her face between my palms softly. "Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly." I guided her back into a chair, and began to rub her neck and shoulders to help her relax and to, hopefully, put her in the mood. "Is this OK?" I asked by gently leaning over and whispering the question in her ear. "It is fantastic." She replied. "I don't want to wrinkle your dress, may I unzip it?" "Yes. Please." I unzipped the zipper to the bottom until I could see the elastic band of the top of her red panties. I continued to massage her back trying to be gentle but to use acupressure to loosen the muscles beside her spine and around her shoulder blades. I swept her hair over the other shoulder so that it hung down over her chest as I worked on the other side of her neck and back. I ran my fingers in a light claw into her hair and massaged her scalp a little. Only after rubbing her back for some time did I ease the dress over her shoulders so that it fell down in a bunch around her waist. A red silk bra was the sole remaining barrier to toplessness. The bra seemed more a polite convention dutifully followed than a supportive undergarment. Elena was slight and not so well developed in the chest that the bra would be essential. I moved around to the front of the chair. "How about if we continue the back rub on the bed? It may be a little more comfortable." I took her hands to help her to a standing position. I caught the dress as it fell away and held it so that she could step out of it. "If you lay down on your stomach on the bed, I'll finish what I started." She complied, and I put her dress over the chair, and then took advantage of the opportunity to shed my clothing down to boxers. I then just rubbed Elena's back. I was not kneading her muscles as I previously had been. I straddled her by kneeling outside of either side of her hips. Her svelte figure accommodated my doing this without putting any weight on her. I leaned down putting my bare chest on her back, which was bare except for the band of the bra strap. "Is everything alright? Do you have any requests?" I again whispered in her ear. My stiff member aligned itself naturally in the dipping cleft in her panties between her butt cheeks. The two shear layers of fabric served to keep things in playful check "It is great. Please keep going. Thank you." She said. I massaged her butt cheeks, the backs of her thighs, her calves, and spend a great deal of time on the soles of her feel. As I kneaded the soles of her feet she stifled a moan. Gradually, I worked my way back to my previous position laying over her and I kissed along the back and side of her neck and the tops of her shoulders. After a time, I bid her to turn onto her side, and we kissed for several minutes before I reached around and unhooked the bra. I had to say, in spite of the torment, being in Pennington's employ had made me a great deal more patient. I often got insanely horny in the mornings during bath time, but could never do anything about it until at least nine o'clock at night. I wasn't allowed to touch myself in Ms. Pennington's presence, and when we got to the office it was all business. I rolled Elena onto her back and straddled her hips. I continued to kiss her as I cupped one of her tiny mounds in my hand and, with the lightest of touch, began to excite the skin from the outside gradually working toward the areola. I only slowly increased the intensity of this manual stimulation. Elena cooed when I finally placed one of her nipples in my mouth and began to suck it and stimulate it with flicks of my tongue. I caressed her face, and brushed the hair off her face gently as I gave attention to her breasts. I raked my fingertips and nails all over her body to excite the flesh. At one point as I ran my fingers over her thigh and to the inside of her knee, her knees parted wide. It was like a flower blossoming at my touch. I let my forearm glide over the crotch of her panties everso lightly, and when my fingers got there I let them linger. I could feel the moist heat on the other side of the thin layer of silk. Elena arched her hips to press into my hand. Perhaps it was involuntary; so eager was she for relief. I denied her. The night was still young. I held her wrists lightly above her head and kissed her face, neck, and shoulders. It was my intention to let the tension build a little. I dropped over onto my back, and peeled my boxers off. My erection bounced when it escaped confinement. Elena touched it tentatively and tenderly in a reflexive attempt to return the pleasure she had been receiving. She rubbed a coating of the slick clear pre-cum over the head of my cock, and I eased her hand away. I craved giving her the night of her life, and wanted to take her to a point at which she could no longer bear any alternative other than to be taken passionately. I hooked my fingers into the waistband of her panties and drew them off her. Once again her knees opened invitingly once the panties were down around her ankles. Ironically, given her petite frame, she had about the thickest clitoris I'd ever seen, or so it seemed anyway. I moved down between her legs and sucked the clit into my mouth using pressure with the tip of my tongue to manipulate the sensitive area directly under the hood. She was moaning now, apparently, involuntarily. Her hands moved randomly over her chest and stomach, seemingly more driven by a giddy raw live energy that filled her than by conscious thought about caressing herself. "Should I stop?" I asked coyly. With efforts to regain her breath, she replied. "Oh, don't stop. Please, Please, don't stop." She had so given in to the moment that I gladly complied. Soon her hips began to bounce spastically on the mattress like a basketball being dribbled. I tried to maintain my mouth on her clit, but my face could not keep up with the erratic motions of her orgasmic form. I reveled in her warm sauce as it covered my face. She seemed to have little bodily control. It was a good first orgasm of the night. I didn't know if I could top it, but I intended to try. After the spasms had subsided into tremors, and the tremors into near complete flaccidity, I lay beside Elena gently tracing along the outline of her breasts with a finger. "I'm sorry." Elena said. "For what?" I asked. "For cumming so soon." "Don't worry; you don't get off that easily. That was what, in a restaurant, you would call an appetizer." I said. It was true. After a brief respite during which we sought the warmth under the covers, we were again locked in an embrace. "You've got quite the sweet little body." She was now straddling me as I lay on my back. I was not inside her, but rather she had just mounted me like a jockey onto a race horse. I complimented Elena as I put my hands around her narrow waist. "Thanks. You're kind, but I wish I had breasts like Bea's." She said. This confused me. I ignorantly asked "Do bees have breasts? If so, they must be tiny." She laughed. "No, Beatrice... Beatrice Pennington." I guess I was aware that Ms. Pennington's name was Beatrice, but I didn't know anyone who called her Bea. Certainly, I would never have dared such informality, and, hence, I did not make the connection. "You don't need them, you look great without them. And think of the back-aches that lady must get." "That's true." She said before changing the subject. "Lay back, I want to do something." She then threw off the covers, and then crawled over to the night stand and came back with what I could only assume was one of the aforementioned condoms. She moved back into a position straddling my legs. After installing protection, an action simplified by my extreme turgidity even for her amateurish hands, Elena took my rigid member in her mouth. She started slowly and then her head began to bob with increasing vigor. The warmth of her mouth through the latex was pleasant to say the least. Elena proved surprisingly skilled with her mouth for a woman that had seemed so nervous and tentative earlier. She looked up at me and no doubt saw euphoria personified. It had been months since I'd been with a woman - not counting Pennington, which I didn't for obvious reasons- and, despite my new found discipline, it was only a few minutes before I was in danger of explosively shooting my load. Exercising a level of restraint that I was surprised I could manage, I sat up and extracted my member from Elena's willing mouth. I put some pillows against the headboard, and leaned back against them. I then ushered Elena into a position with her back to my chest sitting between my legs. I put my arms around her and, with one hand massaged one of her pert tits while the other hand draped across her midsection so that I could manually massage her engorged clit. As I did this, I was sucking on the side of her neck and the top of her shoulder. Perhaps it was becoming an engrained impulse with me to make the process about servicing the woman. Maybe, I would have to thank Pennington for the "training" because I was having a great time. My chin rested on the top of her shoulder, and I could conveniently whisper in her ear messages that helped to excite and arouse her as well as keeping me engorged. Although with my cock pinned flat against the small of her back, her subtle wriggling also contributed to my continued rigidity. I told her how beautiful I found her and how I longed to be inside her. I could feel her wetness grow, and her heart race faster. She moaned and squirmed in delight. Finally, she called out in a high-pitched breathless tone. "Oh, please take me, please fuck me." As she did so she leaned forward to extract herself from my embrace. Displaying limberness, she quickly got her knees under herself such that she was on her hands and knees. I got up to my knees, stroking myself to verify the protection was still soundly positioned. I put my cock between her legs with the front of my pelvis against her buttocks, and then backed it off down her slit until I felt the subtle dip of her vaginal opening. I pushed gently to breach her pussy and took a few slow strokes gradually increasing in depth to get the condom slick with her lubricant. It was a pleasant in a way I cannot adequately put words to. I had never felt a pussy so tight, at least not since I had been a seventeen year old boy with a seventeen year old girl, but those memories were blurred not just by the passage of time since then but also the limited passage of time during the act. After taking long slow strokes for a minute or two I began to get into a faster rhythm. Elena moaned and I frequently found myself having to use every trick in the book to slow myself down. However, I now knew the joy of making things last far more than did the version of me from a decade ago. I pulled out and eased Elena over onto her back. I re-entered her in the missionary position and resumed vigorous fucking. This allowed us to kiss, and to engage in eye contact. I cupped the side of her neck in my palm as I fucked her. Elena's hips began to tremble and she began to cry out more loudly than before - forgetting to censor her volume to account for the fact that we were in a hotel and a classy one at that. Her orgasmic contractions sent me into a blissful state beyond which I had no capacity to resist or control the geyser-like ejaculation that was checked by the condom. My eruption continued for longer than I had yet ever experienced and involved the release of more of my seed than I thought I was capable of producing. I was almost thankful for the involuntary celibacy of sorts that Pennington had imposed on me. I fell over to my side next to an Elena who was still regaining her breath. We fell asleep that way with our legs still entangled together. Elena fell asleep first as I was brushing her hair out of her face and then pulling the cover over us. It was about midnight. I thought briefly about whether I should extract myself and leave, but I fell asleep in the deliberation process. September 3, 2000: I awoke to see Elena laying on her side on the bed with eyes wide open looking at me. Unlike me, she was on top of the bedspread and fully dressed in jeans and a college sweatshirt. It was definitely morning judging from the light shining in through the balcony door, but the shafts of light did not penetrate so deeply into the room as to shine on us in the bed. We just looked into each other's eyes for a moment. I broke the silence. "Sorry, I fell asleep." She then spoke. "Thank you for not leaving." "Do you mind if I take a shower? But if you're in a hurry I can go." I asked, but then realized I might be imposing and she might need to be somewhere. "Not at all. I have to be checked out in an hour, and then I've got somewhere to be at 12:00 noon. But you've got plenty of time for a shower." Elena said. I got out of bed briskly and went into the bathroom half shutting the door behind me. I didn't know what the intimacy protocol was with someone with whom you had just spent the night. It seemed silly to be too uptight about privacy given that we had not only seen each other naked, but engaged in the most intimate of activities. I started the shower and then emptied my bladder. The shower helped to re-invigorate me. The pounding spray of steaming hot water cleared my head greatly. I came out of the shower in a towel out of force of habit. I found my clothing, and, dropping the towel, put back on my clothing from the night before. "Well, I guess I should be going so that you can get on about your day. Have a safe trip back to Delaware." I grabbed a piece of paper off the little hotel stationary pad on the desk, and jotted off my cell-phone number. "Here is my number, when you are back in town please let me know." "Yes, I'd like to do that. I guess as long as you work for Bea, we'll see each other around." I thought I discerned a little tremor in her voice, but didn't want to embarrass either of us by bringing it to the fore. "Even if I don't still work for her, you can call me." As I was almost in a constant state of ambivalence about continuing to work for Pennington, I didn't want the ability to get to know Elena to hinge on maintaining my present job. It was then that a tragic moment transpired. It was certainly sad for me, but I couldn't look past my own feelings of the moment. It wasn't until later, when I began to write my thoughts down that night, that I considered the possible influence on Elena. Elena approached and I raised my hands to waist height in anticipation of a hug and a goodbye peck. Instead, Elena put something in one of my outstretched hands. It was a crisp folded $100 bill. "I know Bea pays you, and she said this was on her, but I thought a tip would be in order." Elena said, not looking up at me but rather down at my feet. I felt dejected on two levels. On the one hand, the tip was a reminder of how Elena really saw me. This created a hollow lonely feeling. Was the feeling of a deeper connection between us just an illusion on my part? On the other hand, this was my Rubicon. Up until now, I could reason that I was the personal assistant of an extremely peculiar woman. I could even rationalize fingering Pennington as assisting the boss through the application of stress reduction techniques. Once that money hit my pocket, I was officially a whore; though not just a whore, but the kind of whore that gets passed around to her friends. Later, after I left and was alone, I wondered if it was a sad moment for Elena as well. If one had an instant's thought that one was developing a personal intimate connection with another person, then believing you were just a commercial transaction for the other person would be a demoralizing proposition. If I had been certain that she felt that way, I would have handed her the bill back and told her that I would gladly and freely spend evenings like that with her, and that, beyond that, I wanted to know who she was as a person. As I teetered on the brink of doing just that, I thought about the possibility of a rejection more personally humiliating than anything Pennington could put me through. Another part of me said: "Hey, maybe you are just a man-whore to her. Maybe she was just looking for a physical release with no strings attached. Despite the lack of a ring, maybe she was married with two kids, and was just making up for an inadequate home sex life." Given the limits of my self-esteem, caution reined over courage, and I put the bill in my pocket, said thanks, turned, and left briskly. It is amazing how quickly one's confidence can crumble under changing conditions. I got a call at 12:30 in the afternoon from Juanita. She said that Pennington was insisting I come in as soon as possible. While part of me bemoaned the loss of the rest of my weekend, part was glad for a distraction from the lonely wake from the previous night. I arrived at about 1:00pm, but by the time I had stripped, stowed my clothing, and crossed through the house it was 1:10pm as I entered Ms. Pennington's bed chamber. The sight I saw upon entering the room stole my breath. Pennington was lying on her back with her knees bent and spread, and Elena was on hands and elbows between my employer's legs sucking her off. Pennington looked over and motioned me to her side with a brisk wave of the hand. I had not even realized that I came to a complete stop. Elena looked up and seemed caught off guard when she saw me naked but for the livestock collar. Her moment of shock was cut short when Pennington sat up, put her hand on the back of Elena's neck, and pulled my previous evenings date's face back into her crotch. As I got to the edge of the bed, Pennington cupped the breast closest to me and lifted the heavy orb toward me. This was enough of an indication to know that I was supposed to do something with it. I lay on my side on the edge of the bed, and popped the nipple into my mouth. In the corner of my eye I saw motion. Without breaking suction, I looked over with a subtle head turn and eye movement to see Juanita, in her maid uniform, following the action with a small hand-held video camera. I had no idea from Juanita's blank stare if she was disgusted, aroused, or indifferent. As both Elena's mouth and mine were occupied, Pennington did the talking. "Elena came over and was telling me what a good night she had with you last night. I had Juanita call you over because I wanted to see it for myself. It's quite a thrilling prospect to get my two best bitches together at one time. I wonder if Elena told you that she gave herself to me when we were roommates in that god-awful women's college. I always preferred the men, you know, but necessity can be the mother of bisexuality. Elena was my first. If you think she is shy now, she was as timid and skittish as a baby bunny back then. Her loneliness made her extremely willing to please. I think the two of you have that in common. I'll say this though, she learned to suck a mean pussy." Pennington's speech transmogrified into moans and cries as she submitted the pleasure. I switched the tit I was servicing with my mouth and used my hand to stimulate the nipple of the first breast I had pleasured while beginning to suck on the other one. It was odd hearing Pennington speak about Elena as she spoke about me, which was in pet-like terms. Diary of Passion February 18th Today was a good day. Spent time with Laura shopping, bought the cutest outfit. Must remind myself to go back to that little bakery...the man working there was...ummmm, so yummy!! Well diary, I'm exhausted...until next time... February 24th Wow!!! That's all I can say diary...went back to that little bakery and met "the man." His name is Daniel. We've been talking for the past few days, and now we have a date tomorrow. Hmmm, I wonder what I'll wear???? February 26th Sorry I missed you last night...but oh, what a night I had. First, Daniel took me to this wonderful little Italian restaurant. We then decided to go for drinks. Pretty soon, we were both, "happy." He invited me back to his apartment...and wow!!! At first, we talked, but soon we were kissing...and his lips are so soft. He has the most playful tongue I've ever seen...he was sooooo sensual too. I've never been kissed in the places where he kissed me!!!! well, again, I'm exhausted...(ha ha ha) until tomorrow. Oh, P.S.--->I'm going to see him tomorrow night, so I'll keep you posted... :) February 27th Oh...diary, last night I was in sexual heaven. We decided to do a little roleplay...He was the master, of course!! and I was the obedient little slave. At first, I was unsure, but let me say, that every woman should be a slave at least once. First he had me change into something he'd gotten for me. He said it was more "appropriate" for the "mood." (he must have great eyes, because he got me the right size!!) It was a black leather corset, with holes around the breast area to bare my nipples. It was tight and went down to my bellybutton. I also had a black leather thong. I have to say, the sight of seeing myself in that outfit turned me on!!! Daniel then blindfolded me...now that was exciting. He has this huge four poster canopy bed. He had me stand and face one of the corner posts, and then he tied my hands to it. I was breathing so fast, I thought my lungs would collapse!! First he took a large feather, and traced up and down my legs. Starting at the top, he went down on the outside, and came back up on the inside, stopping right at the top of my inner thighs. All I could do was moan...Then he knelt down behind me, and began massaging and kissing my ass. He got up and I could hear him fumbling around, so I asked him what he was doing. He said, "Slaves don't speak unless spoken to first, got it Pet?" The stern, yet sexual tone in his voice was so erotic...I simply said, "Yes, Master." He came and stood close behind me and said, "Now, lets tame you Pet." With that, he swatted me on my ass. I cried out...it stung!! He took his hand and gently rubbed the spot. Then he swatted me again, and again, and again...each swat getting harder and harder. I have to admit, once I knew what he was doing, I liked it. He spanked me 10 more times until my skin turned a bright pink. "Nice Pet, nice..." He untied me and took the blindfold off. He told me to face him, "Now, Pet, remove my clothes." After I'd removed his clothes, he said, "Kneel before me Pet." I knelt down...he was fully erect. "Now, pleasure your Master...," and he guided my head towards him. I took my tongue and ran it across and around the head of his cock...to tease him a little. My lips parted and I took in just the head, sucking gently. I then took him all the way in, savoring him. His moans were ecstasy to my ears. I began moving faster and faster, sucking harder and harder. "Taste me Pet, all of me." and he grabbed my hair and pulled me closer...then he exploded. I could feel it trickle down my throat...he tasted so sweet...well, diary, there's more, lots more, but my hand is tired of all this writing. I will be seeing him in a few days, so I'm sure I'll have more to tell you, until then...adieu!!!!!!!! March 2nd Ok, diary...I have been very adventurous...I know I mentioned my friend Laura to you. The other night, I needed to get something from Daniel's house. Laura was with me...while we were there, I noticed him "looking" at her. Laura is very attractive. He asked if we wanted to stay and have a drink, and of course we did!! Pretty soon, we were all a little "tipsy," to say the least. I was sitting next to Daniel...he started massaging my shoulders. Laura was sitting on the other side of him, watching...he looked over at her and said, "Why don't you do this, she is your friend." Laura smiled, and came and sat by me. Daniel sat back while Laura started massaging my shoulders. Her touch was so soft...she began to move her hands down my back...then her hands came around and began massaging my breasts. I was so turned on by this point. She leaned forward and began kissing my neck as she caressed my breasts. She then removed my shirt and bra. I turned to her and began kissing her passionately. Her lips are soooo soft...I began undressing her. Daniel watched silently. Once we were completely undressed, she began kissing my breasts...the feeling was incredible. I wanted to taste her too, so I leaned forward and hungrily took her breast in my mouth...and sweet she was. Daniel undressed and walked around me. Laura was sitting back on the couch...I began tasting her sweetness as Daniel thrust himself in me. For a few minutes, it was pure ecstasy...me giving my friend pleasure, and Daniel pleasuring me at the same time...I believe we did what is called a menage a trois....(ha ha ha) Oh, diary, I have been a bad girl, but what fun it is!!! until next time... March 18th Well, diary...here I am. I bet you were wondering what happened to me. Daniel and I took a trip to Cancun. The beaches there are soooo beautiful. The sand looks like powder...and the water is sooo clear. We had so much fun. One particular night, we were out late. We decided to have fun right there on the beach!! I was wearing a scrumptious little black bikini. It was shiny lycra with little silver studs outlining the edges. Daniel and I lay kissing...and he reached under and untied my top. The moon was full, and the sound of the waves crashing was romantic beyond belief!! He began kissing my neck, moving over and taking turns sucking on my earlobes...(God!! that turns me on!!) He then used his tongue to trace a trail down to my breasts. His tongue glided gently across the nipple of my right breast. I took my hand and massaged the left one at the same time...He then took my nipple into his mouth and sucked...then he lightly bit it...ooooohhh, now that's nice...then he went to the left one. He slowly made his way down, stopping to lick around my bellybutton. By the way, it's pierced, so he played with my bellybutton ring too...(tickles...hee hee hee) He was on his knees between my legs, and leaned forward and removed my bikini bottom. At this point, I was completely naked, right there on the beach!! But I didn't care...this felt tooooo good. He began kissing my inner thighs, licking and sucking at the same time. He then buried himself into me...probing me with his tongue...in and out...my whole body was on fire. I could feel his tongue moving up and down me, then probing me, in and out...my orgasm was violent to say the least...my eyes rolling in the back of my head, and my back arched high...my moans getting louder and louder, "Mmmmmmm." He savored every drop of me...then came up and kissed me passionately... his breath sweet with my juices...As we lay there, we heard something to the left of us. We looked over and could only laugh. There about 20 feet away was a couple, watching and getting hot themselves. They'd watched the whole thing!! We smiled at them, and continued...making love on the beach...well, diary, I need to unpack. My bed looks soooo comfy right now...night... March 25th Well diary, I must say, Daniel loves roleplay... as I do. But to make things interesting, I was the Mistress this time and he was the slave. This was new to me, but I was actually a very good Mistress. Demanding and firm...but sensual if he obeyed me. Before he came over, I made sure I would have everything I needed...I heard the doorbell ring..."Come in." Daniel entered and his mouth dropped opened...I was the Mistress at that point. I wore a black leather studded bra with matching shorts...(I mean very short shorts} and a pair of thigh high black leather stiletto boots with studs around the ankles. Around my head was a black blindfold type mask...that only covered the eye area. Of course there were holes for me to see through...I held a riding crop...and tapped it on my left hand with my right hand...showing my power. I said, "Come my pet...enter my chambers." Daniel dutifully walked to me..."Yes Mistress." I led him to the back room, where I had covered the windows with large pieces of black velvet...to block out any sunlight. Candles were burning all around, giving the room a wonderful glow. I place the bed in the middle of the room. I walked in behind him and shut the door. "Before we begin, you must agree that you will obey every command I give...if not, I WILL PUNISH YOU. I may punish you anyway, if I SEE FIT. In here, you are my slave, and you WILL DO whatever your Mistress tells you...is that understood Pet?" He looked at me...and started to speak..."No Pet, look down unless I give you permission to look at me. You will do nothing unless I give permission." He lowered his eyes in submission, "Yes Mistress." "Nice Pet...now, remove your clothes...ALL OF THEM...NOW." I watched as he undressed, never looking up once. I walked over and smacked his bare ass with the riding crop. He looked up startled. I smacked him again...this time he lowered his eyes. "Good Pet, I will deal out punishment when I see fit, but I may also spank you simply because I want to." Once he was undressed, I let him stand there a minute...languishing in his nakedness. "Now, turn towards the bed and bend over it." He obeyed like a good slave should. I came up behind him... rubbing my hand over his ass...massaging and pinching...then I took the riding crop and smacked him five times on each cheek. Once his skin was a nice blushing pink...I stood very close to him, and rubbed myself against him... knowing the touch of cool leather would feel good next to his skin. "Turn around and thank your Mistress for showing you kindness slave." He turned around...and placed his mouth on my breasts...sucking through the leather..."Yes, Pet...thats nice..." "Now Pet, get on the bed...on your knees and face the headboard." I went around and handcuffed him to the headboard. He looked delicious there...hands reached out...handcuffed to the bed...on his knees...cock erect. I came up behind him on the bed...pressing my breasts against his back. My hands reaching around, caressing his stomach...My right hand reaching down, taking his cock into my hand and pumping him slowly...His breathing came faster...his hips moved in motion with me. I stopped...and brought both hands to his chest... "Not yet, sweet Pet..." I got up and came back with a bowl of ice...Taking the ice...I traced a path up the back of his legs...then around and around his ass...slowly making my way around to the front. I placed a piece of ice in my hand and proceeded to pump his cock again...he shivered, but did not wince. I played with him for a few minutes...then removed the handcuffs. "Turn to me Pet..." He turned, eyes down..."Now, please your Mistress...You are to undress me with your teeth...then explore my body with your tongue." He leaned forward and fumbled with the hook of the bra...(which was in the front) with his teeth...and got it undone. He bit down on one strap and managed to remove it. I stood up on the bed...and stuck my left leg out. With his teeth, he unzipped the boot...then the other...then I thrust my hips very close to him...He bit down on the waistband...and slowly removed the shorts...I stood completely naked before him..."Now Pet, taste your Mistress." With that, his tongue glided in and began exploring. After a few minutes I stopped him. "Very nice Pet...now, lay down..." He laid back...I stood before him...one leg on each side of him..."What would you do to please your Mistress now? You may speak Pet." "I want my Mistress to sit...and let me finish tasting her..." "Yes, that would please your Mistress...but, I would like a tasty treat too." With that, I turned around...and placed myself so that we were in the perfect 69 position. I felt his hands on my ass as he pulled me closer to him...his tongue finding its way back...I leaned down, and began licking him...just at the top of his cock...then taking it in...sucking...A few minutes went by as his tongue probed me...licking and sucking...my lips wrapped tight around him...taking his cock as far in as I could...and then together we came...each giving the other the taste of our orgasm...I turned around...and came up to him..."Kiss me Pet, taste your sweetness as I taste mine." Our tongues probing each other's mouth...kissing deeply...it was pure sensual pleasure...Well, diary, I have indulged much to you this time...but as I said, I enjoyed being the Mistress...I think I shall like spanking him again...seeing his skin glow so perfectly pink... Mmmmmm, now that's nice... March 31st Daniel treated me to a most delightful dinner the other night. Well...actually, it was the dessert that was, tantalizing...As we were sitting at the table, just finishing dinner, Daniel looked at me with a very seductive look on his face and asked, "Ready for dessert?" I grinned because I knew he had something up his sleeve. So, I reciprocated the sexiness and answered in my (I want sex) voice, "...yes." As he led me to the back room, he turned and told me, "I hope you like what I've done with the room." As we entered, I became breathless. The bed was covered in a black velvet comforter. He had the celing adorned with etched mirrors from end to end. A single painting hung above the headboard. As I looked closer, I noticed it was a reproduction of Salvador Dali's "The Great Masterbater." He led me to the bed, where he undressed me slowly. After removing my clothes, he laid me back on the bed. The velvet was soothing against my skin. "Wait here," he said. He returned a few minutes later holding a silver tray. Upon the tray, was whip cream, chocolate syrup, vanilla ice cream and fresh cherries. He smiled and said, "I have been craving a sundae for some time...might you indulge me?" I shivered in anticipation. First, he leaned forward and spread my legs. He bent down and kissed me softly on my inner thighs. Reaching over, he scooped up some ice cream in his fingers and spread it around between my legs. I shook from the coldness, but languished in the sensuality of it. The ice cream dripped slowly down...cold, creamy droplets running along my soft eager flesh. Next, he poured the chocolate syrup over the ice cream, where it drizzled down, coating me entirely. The whip cream was laid on top of that...and for the finish, a fresh cherry adorned the entire feast. He leaned forward, admired his masterpiece, and his tongue began dancing around...He licked and savored the sweet flavor. He started licking faster and faster. I was in complete ecstasy, wriggling around, moaning deeply. At last, the sundae was gone, except for the cherry. He licked around it, and then picked it up with his lips...and began devouring it, and me! His tongue thrusting faster and faster into me, tasting the combination of my sweet flavor mixed with his seductive sundae. I let out one final moan of pure pleasure, and he savored every drop...As you can see diary, dessert isn't just dessert, if you have an imaginative cook!!! Adieu...:) April 7th Hello diary...sorry I've been away. But, don't worry, I'm going to catch you up... :) Hmmm, let see, where do I start? Well, a few days ago, I decided to stay home to work. I'm usually not home during the day, so the happenings during that time are alien to me. Around mid-morning, I heard a knock at my door. I peered out and saw it was my next door neighbor, Sandra. I know her only casually, so I was curious as to what she wanted. I opened the door and invited her in. "How are you?" she asked, "I thought you might be sick or something because your never home during the day." I explained to her that I was just doing some paperwork. "Oh, well I was coming back from my morning walk, and noticed your car, so I was just curious....you know, you should go walking with me sometime." I thought a moment, "Yes, that would be nice." I did noticed for the first time what great shape she was in. Standing about 5'5", she is the same height as I am. She has medium length blonde hair, and a nice tan. I would say about a size 8....again, about the same size as I am. (Although I am a redhead)...I invited her to stay for a cup of coffee, but she decided that she wanted to show me something at her house...Once over there, I was amazed at decor...very soft, yet bold at the same time. We went through a few things, kind of getting to know each other, when she asked me, "Want to see my real husband?" I laughed, and said, "Hmmm, ok." Upstairs, in the bedroom, she brought out an extremely large dildo. I laughed in spite of myself..."So, this is your real husband?" She looked at me strangely, "Yes...you don't have one?" I admitted that I didn't. "Well, have you ever played with one before?" she asked. Again, I thought, "No, I haven't." She looked at me coyly, "Want to play with this one?" With that she approached me...and caressed my hair with her hands. Then we kissed. Her lips were so soft. We began removing our clothes...I cupped her breasts, and took turns licking and sucking them. She lay back, and I positioned myself between her legs. Mmmmm, she was delightful...I spread her soft nether lips and ran my tongue the length of her. I inserted my tongue inside her...thrusting it in and out. Then I took her clit and sucked it in...rolling my tongue around it. I could feel her cumming...and thrust my tongue back inside her...as deep as I could..."Yes baby," she said. Then I layed back, and she took her dildo and rubbed it around my nipples...teasing me. She brought it to my mouth and I made the motions of sucking it for her. "Now, it's your turn," she said. She lowered herself down, and caressed the rubber phallus up and down...again teasing me. "You want it?" she asked. "Oh, yes... please..." I murmured. She gently inserted the head....and began thrusting it deeper and deeper...I couldn't hold out much longer...She began moving faster and faster, massaging my clit with her fingers while she fucked me with her dildo. I had a fantastic orgasm....which she leaned forward and inserted her tongue instead of the dildo and drank me in...We began kissing again, tasting each other. After I went home, I realized that I may need to work at home more often... :) Until later my dear diary.... adieu Diary of Seducing my Muse June 10 2008 This relationship isn't purely a fantasy any more. We are, in our way, pretty good friends. We don't have a lot in common, but we seem to think the same way about things, and we make each other laugh. She knows I fancy her, but I'm not sure she realises how much. I try not to stare too much, though I keep up a pretty tedious line in one-dimensional innuendo. Last night, at a work do, she was a little bit drunk and she was flirting more than she ever has before. She wanted to know if she was on my "freebies" list (that episode of Friends must have done more damage to relationships than any other show in history). Of course she is! She could have guessed that, of course, but I'm a very good place for her to fish for compliments. If only I had more confidence, I might have made a move. Probably a good thing that I didn't. July 7 2008 It's her birthday next week. This evening, on the way home from work, I actually spent some time in Selfridge's, looking through the lingerie selection. I picked out a chemise that would have suited her perfectly. A light, very bright blue, with a gentle lace trim, the cut just low enough to be revealing, just high enough to be modest. A slit ran along the side of the short skirt. I could picture it hugging her tiny body, accentuating her curves, contrasting perfectly with her jet-black hair and caramel skin. I put it back on the shelf, of course, and walked away. I suppose she's my muse. My unattainable goal. I guess married men all have one. August 5 2008 So I met her new guy. He's been around since just after the work do when she kinda-sorta came onto me. He's really nice, easy-going and a good laugh. The friend part of my brain is delighted for her. The obsessive, lustful part of my brain is not impressed. I've been battling thoughts of jealousy and possessiveness by reminding myself that I'm happily married and that I genuinely want her to be happy. By the time I met him I was relatively at peace, and able to behave like an adult. I've got no right to feel this way, but I can't help feeling a little bit betrayed. What an utter pillock! August 13 2008 I dreamt about her yet again last night. I was really fired with adrenaline when I woke up; it felt just like that moment before a first kiss. The room was hot, and the night bus was making a din outside the window as I fought to get back to sleep. In my mind, we've done the deed a thousand times. When I'm pulling myself of, or daydreaming through boring meetings. When I'm fucking my wife or waiting for a tube. So why is it that, when I dream about her, my dreams are pretty tame, and stop around the moment of the first kiss? It's probably because the thrill of acceptance is what most excites me. The giddy pleasure of doing something illicit, making a pact and then finding a way to be together. There's a bit of my brain that wants this to stop. It isn't fair on her, or my wife. Or even the boyfriend. It also feels incredibly immature. But for all that, it is so… thrilling. It makes me happy, and I guess that's why I keep having the dreams. December 18 2008 I'm taking the new job. It's absolutely the right thing to do, for lots of reasons. She was the first person at work I told, needless to say. She responded like a good friend. It was a nice moment. I wonder if she guessed that she was a factor in my decision? I mean, she wasn't the most important thing, but I did consider her. Although I didn't really want to move on, this wasn't healthy. I couldn't keep everything straight in my head. One person, who is simultaneously a friend, a colleague, and my muse? Far too complicated for me. July 3 2009 I suppose she's been with him for over a year now. I'm glad that I didn't remember that on the day; perhaps I'm outgrowing the 13 year old boy's sexual advances that I was relying on (when married, no less). I've seen a lot less of her recently, and I've tried to stop dwelling on her. It doesn't seem healthy, somehow, or fair on the women in my life (that is, the woman in my life, or the women in my mind's life). I still think about her a lot, though, and, in my undemonstrative way, I really enjoy spending time with her. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I don't believe that. Absence makes the heart take a back seat, and the brain takes over. In my case, it tells me to forget it. Whenever I do see her, though, I'm struck again by her beauty. I mean, she really is simply stunning. I fancy most Indian girls I meet, but there's something about her that seems special. She's so short, for one thing, and I love the way she stares up at me. She's got perfect skin, and amazing eyes that… oh, I don't know. The truth is, it feels a bit like love. I mean, I don't love her. I never have. I don't know her well enough, and she probably isn't important enough to me. It's just that it's more like love than like lust. I think I find her so beautiful mostly because I can see her personality in her eyes, in her expressive face. And I like her as much as I fancy her. Whatever it is, I notice her whenever I'm in the room with her. And if I haven't seen her for a while, some ill-defined emotion hits me like a thunderbolt. November 27 2009 Went out for drinks with her last night. A sort of pre-Christmas drink, hurried on by the realisation that we hadn't seen each other since the beginning of August. It was the first time that I can remember where she invited me, picked the time and the place, and I just turned up. After I made plans a couple of times that fell through, I decided she might have decided life is simpler without me. Of course, in a dark corner of my mind I suspected she simply hadn't given me any thought, but most of the time it is pretty easy for me to fool myself about this. Anyway, I was thrilled when she emailed me, and it was, as ever, great to see her. She was looking really wonderful; it's cold weather and she suits hats. Being a Friday, and nearly Christmas, we were both very relaxed and we had a few drinks. She's far too small to hold her liquor very well, and I find it is always a good idea to ply her with drinks. Anyway, the conversation sort of switched back and forth between very respectable gossip about my old company, and some fairly brazen flirting. I was enjoying it, of course, but I had no idea it was going anywhere. I did notice that she was, if anything, flirting more than me, which I enjoyed. Anyway, after a while she asked me if I remembered saying that she was at the top of my freebie list. I told her that I did, of course, and she said that I on her list, too! I needed a big gulp of beer before I could even consider playing that one coolly. "Yeah?" I asked her, trying not to grin too hard. "Long list, is it? He can't be impressed." "Oh, I'm not telling him. He's not at all suspicious, and I don't want that to change. If he knew the people on the list, he'd be able to stop me ticking them off." She laughed as she said it, but something in her tone suggested to me that she was watching my responses very carefully indeed. "I don't know. I mean, these lists never really get completed, do they? People have their daydreams, but it's so hard to pluck up the courage to act on them." "Well, maybe. I think that's a guy thing. If a girl knows that she wants someone, and he wants her, it isn't that hard to push him into making it happen." Well, I'm not a master psychologist, but the emphasis she put on the work him was impossible to ignore. My heart was racing, but I was thinking even faster. I didn't want to miss this chance, if it really was a chance, by saying the wrong thing. For the first time since I met my wife, I was trying to reel a woman in. I just hoped to God I could remember how. "Sure, it's easy to let a guy know you want him. You can hint that what he's thinking about, what he's always thinking about, is a realistic possibility. But there are practical steps. How can you go from talking about it to actually making it happen? I mean, we're not talking about a fumble in the alley behind the pub, are we?" "No, of course not. But I don't need Romeo and Juliet, either. I get all the romance I need at home. So if I ever did convince a guy to make a play for me, all he'd need to do would be to book a hotel room, some afternoon when we both had the time to really let ourselves go." Well, that seemed to me about as clear an invitation as any man has ever received. But I was very conscious to not seem over keen. I eased the conversation back onto holiday plans, etc, and we were as good as gold while we finished our drinks, and had one more for the road. As we were leaving, I asked if she was taking any time off for Christmas shopping. "Sure. My sister and I are going together on the 14th. But I've got the 15th off too. Haven't got any plans yet." Game, set and match. I really can't believe this has happened, but short of a written contract, I couldn't be surer that I'm finally going to get what I've wanted all these years. 12th December 2009 Selfridge's was heaving, but of course it would be, two Saturdays before Christmas. Still, I knew what I was looking for and I was mercifully anonymous in the crowds. I hate the way that clothes that you like disappear from the shops, so I was amazed to find that the chemise was still available, same design, same colour. I took a guess that she's XS, and made my way to the checkout. My hands were shaking. I guess I was right that it is the anticipation that is the most exciting thing of all. Later that afternoon, I booked the hotel I've decided on. It's central London, and expensive enough to be discreet and romantic. We're able to check in any time from 12. She asked me what name I was booking under. Why, Mr and Mrs Smith, of course! 14th December 2009 Okay, I was wrong. The anticipation isn't the best bit, because today was far, far more intense and pleasurable than I could ever have imagined. I sent her a text yesterday, telling her to arrive at the hotel at about one, announce herself as Mrs Smith, and then go up to the room, and I'd meet her there. Before she got there, I sneaked into the room, left the lingerie (gift-wrapped) on the bed, together with a bottle of champagne, which I opened and poured her a glass of. I then sneaked downstairs to get myself a glass of something stronger from the obliging man behind the bar. Hidden behind a column, I heard her before I saw her, and peeked out as she took her key and made for the old-fashioned lift. I forced myself to give her some time. Yes, I wanted her to put the chemise on, but I also wanted her to have a drink and relax. There was a little bit of me that still dreaded that she'd leave at this point. I had a second drink, chatting to the barman and trying not to look at my watch. I'm sure that nothing I said made any sense, but he was polite enough to humour me. After I judged enough time had passed (didn't want her getting cold feet) I walked up stairs, feeling my knees slightly weak below me, a delicious squirming in my stomach. I wasn't sure if it was nerves, or lust. Both, probably. I reached the door, knocked softly, and, when I was told to come in, slipped through the door, locking it behind me. I swear, if I live to 100 I'll never know another moment like that. She was standing in front of me, wearing the chemise, her hair, unusually, flowing loose around her shoulders, her feet bare. The blue silk clung to her, exposing every curve and appearing almost like she was entirely naked. Oh, she was a picture. But I hardly noticed her body. It was the look on her face that captured my attention. That beautiful face gazed up at me, more expressive than I've ever seen it. Her eyes blazed with lust. I couldn't believe someone who looked like that could want me. For moments, though it felt like hours, neither of us moved. I just stood there, drinking her in, her eyes on my face, mine meeting hers, then exploring her body, returning to her eyes. I think I'd be there still if she hadn't moved. Slowly, she raised her right foot onto her toes, pushing her weight onto her left foot and pushing her hips towards me provocatively. I took a step forward, and reached out my hand, hoping it wouldn't shake too obviously. I placed it on her shoulder, soft and smooth to my touch, surprisingly hot, and ran it slowly down the length of her arm, reached around to the small of her back and pulled her towards me. She was so small and delicate, she felt almost fragile now that she was at last in my arms. I could smell her hair, the hint of her familiar perfume. I pulled her close to me, her lithe little body clinging to mine. I could feel her chin pressing against my chest, bending slightly, I kissed her for the first time. There was a magic in that moment. I can't describe it. I think it was because this somehow meant something to both of us that we couldn't express, something caught in the no-man's-land that is neither love nor lust. I'm sure she could feel my heart pounding against her, as I wrapped other arm around her and pulled her even closer to me, kissing her deeply and tenderly. It was another moment that I don't think I would have been able to end. She stopped kissing me, and leaned back in my arms with a smile of pleasure at our intimacy. She had her hands on my chest, I realised, and had unbuttoned my jacket. Her clever fingers were working at my tie as I stared hungrily down her low-cut top, the soft arc of her breasts visible below the silk. My hands slipped past the small of her back, and I cupped her buttocks in my hands. She let out a soft sigh as I began to knead them slowly, the smooth silk running between my fingers, her flesh firm het pliant to my touch. My tie was loose now, and I felt her unbuttoning my shirt. I realised how strange it was that she was virtually naked while I still wore the uniform of the businessman. I kicked off my shoes, and wriggled from my jacket, not letting go of her even for a second. I said that her shoulders were hot. Well, her fingers felt hotter. I still don't know what was happening, whether she really was hot, or I just imagined the heat. Something about her touch felt almost like it was burning my skin. I just loved the way she touched me, pushing my shirt off my chest, her hands running over my bare skin. I didn't really notice that I'd picked her up, was carrying her back across the room to the bed. She was so light, and it felt so natural to have her in my arms. I did notice when she wrapped her thighs around me, almost climbing up my body. She locked her hands together behind my head and kissed me deeply. My hands explored her bare thighs. So hot to the touch. So smooth. As I reached the bed she lowered herself onto it, climbing out of my embrace. Nothing I'd seen in her before today would have made me think that she would be this confident in the bedroom. She wasn't shy, exactly, but she was normally demure. Today, though, she was far more in control than I was. She knelt on the edge of the bed now, her wide eyes staring up at me as she played for a moment at my belt, the button of my fly. I stepped out of my wool trousers as they plummeted towards the floor, pulling my socks off with my toes as I went. I swear, she actually licked her upper lip as my cock sprung towards her, granite-hard underneath my boxers. Her face was inches away from it, but she reached upwards and kissed me just above the navel, and then kissed and licked her way up my body, until she was standing on tip toes, her weight resting deliciously against me as she kissed my neck and ran her tongue along the length of my jaw. Her hands, meanwhile, trailed a different path, and were pressed between us, one pulling gently at my chest hair while the other softly tickled and cupped my balls through the thin material of my boxers. My cock strained ever harder towards her, and I let out a low moan as it brushed against her wrist. I have never needed anyone like I needed her in that moment. I grabbed her, squeezing her bum and pulling the expensive silk aside, placing my hands on the bare flesh beneath. The silk fell back over my hands as I squeezed and caressed her, lifting her into my arms again. I turned around, my back to the bed, and let myself fall backwards, and she, locked in my embrace fell on top of me. She let out a tiny squeal of surprise and a delicious giggle, as our lips sought each other. Still kissing her, I rolled her onto her back, pinned her to the bed with my leg, the skin to skin contact again feeling incredibly hot, almost electrical. I raised myself up onto an elbow, allowing me to look down on this vision underneath me; her dark features slightly flushed, her eyes wide, watching to see what I'd do next. Now I had her where I wanted her, I forced myself to slow my advances and relish the moment. Kissing her softly on the forehead, I ran my finger along the line of the material across her chest, from one spaghetti strap to the other, slowly and gently exploring the smooth curves of her breasts, the tiny hollows above her collar bones. As I reached her shoulder, I pulled the strap down, slightly over her shoulder, and again traced a long pattern along the line of the material, this time pushing it down slightly, exposing slightly more of her body. Again, as my fingers reached the point of her shoulder I pulled the strap to her upper arm, and traced for a third time my lazy, inquisitive path. Her small breasts were almost exposed now, and she lay smiling up at me, and I'm sure she relished the hunger she could see in my eyes. Her nipples were clearly visible now, two hard points in the soft lace, half-hidden from view. I brushed my fingertips across them and was rewarded with a low moan, before I returned to her shoulder, and again traced my hand along the line of silk that ran across her breasts. This time, I exposed them fully, and she lay half naked in front of me. I leaned down and kissed her full on the lips, her breast held in my hand as I ran my index finger around her swollen nipple. Reluctantly, I broke our kiss and reached down, running my tongue over her breast, exploring every curve. She began to writhe below me, and I was thrilled to sense her moving beyond excitement and towards real arousal. I ran my tongue over the tiny bumps surrounding her nipple, pulling it into my mouth, flicking it with my tongue, sucking gently. I reached my hand down her body and caressed her knee, the plane of her thigh. Her fingers were in my hair, holding me against her chest as my hand danced its way up her thigh, the silk hem tickling at my wrist. She was pushing herself towards my hand, that's what I remember the most clearly. I loved how much she wanted me. After all the doubts that this was some crazy fantasy of mine, I needed to know that she wanted me. I knew it when I saw her eyes as the door opened, and I knew it in this moment. As my hand continued up her thigh, she stopped writhing, and lay very still, almost rigid. My fingertips brushed through her short wiry hair, and touched her for the first time. She let out a shuddering cry and her entire body relaxed at that first touch. I thought for a moment that she'd already come, but I realised that she had simply been waiting, pent up, for the release of the contact. As my fingers gently explored her folds, she began to writhe once again, pushing her heels into the bedding and forcing herself up into my hand, her wetness virtually pouring out of her. I placed my index and ring fingers inside her, enjoying the wet heat and the passion of her response as I slid them up and down, softly squeezing her clit as I did so. My thumb rested at the mouth of her pussy as I lowered my middle finger onto her clit, held out in place. She was gasping now, her mouth agape, her face and chest flushed dark with blood. I pushed my two fingers together a little more, exposing her clit to my middle finger which lay flat across it, tracing tiny circular motions. Diary of Seducing my Muse For the next few moments, I barely moved, just lay above her, one arm wrapped around her, my other hand working her clit. I watched as she became more and more aroused, her eyes closed, her breathing more erratic. With one hand she reached out and grabbed my cock, and pulled it roughly from my boxers, pumped it furiously. The other pulled at her nipple with an animal roughness. Though I loved the feeling of her hot little hand on my raging cock, I thought little about it as I watched her building up to her release. I'd imagined this so often, and I loved watching the pleasure I was bringing her. Her breathing turned slowly into gasps, then little crys, a crescendo of involuntary gruntys and squeals that told me just how close she was. Pushing herself into my hand even harder, her body became still and rigid once again, then began I felt her begin to shake, almost as though she were cold. Her shivers became more violent, and she was shaking furiously, not breathing, her pussy beginning to spasm against the probing of my thumb. Her eyes snapped open and locked onto mine, still radiating her lust. She cried out as she came, then gave a great shuddering gasp, as her pussy squeezed the tip of my thumb incredibly hard. I felt her wetness run over my thumb as her shaking subsided and her breathing returned to normal. Her hand was still on my cock, and she began to stroke it again as she smiled a knowing smile and sat up enough to kiss me. Wrapping her other arm around my neck she pulled me down onto her, and wrapped her legs around me. Lost in these individual sensations, I surrendered myself to her skilful touches, happy to caress her breasts and stare down at her as she slowly pulled me towards her. My cock was at the very mouth of her pussy when she let go of my cock. She lay there with a hand on each of my shoulders, her legs wrapped around my thighs, waiting. I pushed forwards slowly, feeling the pressure of her tight pussy slowly increasing its grip on my shaft as I thrust further and further inside her. In one long, slow push I filled her completely as she swallowed my whole cock. I held myself there, deep inside her, feeling her heat pressing against my dick, the persistent squeezing as she gently tightened and released her muscles. She adjusted her position slightly, her heels now pressing into my buttocks, and I felt the increased weight as she lifted her body from the bed, with only her head and shoulders on the pillow. Now I began to thrust into her again, slowly at first, making each thrust as long as possible, shivering slightly with the sensations and watching her pleasure as she began to rock her body and squeeze her muscles in time with my thrusts. Gradually, I sped up my motions, my cock deep inside her making quick, aggressive thrusts as she bucked her hips and rocked against me. We were both crying out with each push, releasing emotion as well as pleasure. It's a cliché, but I think we came together. Certainly, it was the incredible sensation of her pussy spasming that pushed me over the edge. As I quickened my motions her quick cries turned into one long, drawn out shout, and with another huge shuddering breath she came, shaking, in my arms. The sight of her, as well as the vice-like squeezing on my cock caused me to cum too, as with one long hard push I forced my cock still deeper into her and my seed surged into her with three convulsive bucks of my hips. Slowly, our bodies relaxed, and she was lying across my chest, the chemise bunched up around her hips. I kissed the top of her head and ran my hand over her long hair and smooth back. We lay like that for a while, and slowly we started to chat. Gradually we sat up, and she leaned against me, half-clothed, as we drank the champagne. I don't know why, but it seemed natural that we'd do nothing more. We just chatted, enjoyed each other's company and relished the intimacy even as we allowed it to fade away. At some point, late in the evening, we were dressed, and almost back to normal. It was a cold, clear night and her cheek was icy cold as I kissed her goodbye at the station entrance. 24 December 2009 We didn't say much on the long drive north for Christmas. I was half-listening to the Carols from Kings on the radio, but my mind was dwelling on her a little. I do still think about her, but it's different somehow. I don't know what's changed. I suppose I've just found peace with the way things are. She's there, somewhere, in my heart and my mind. She's a muse, a beauty, and someone I feel an extraordinary passion for. But we've expressed all that. She'll just be a friend now, and I can finally accept that. We're off the motorway as my mobile beeps. Pulling up at some lights a moment later, I glance at the text. "Thank you too. It was wonderful. Happy Christmas." "Who was that?" my wife asks. "Oh, just Nisha. Thanking me for the present I got her. We'll be there in a minute."