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Cynthia's Affair Ch. 01

By: SteveLee1146



CYNTHIA'S AFFAIR 1 (of 4)

It's impossible to pinpoint exactly the time when Cynthia Anders' problem began, probably because there was no one time, only a gradual development. As with most marriages, her's began on a high note, with romance mixed with the normal carnal joys of matrimony. Unfortunately, also as with most marriages, the real world intervened and, bit by bit, things went downhill. Many things caused that decline; work, money problems and, perhaps, most important, the advent of children. Suddenly, a two-people relationship becomes one of three, then four and, in Cynthia's case, five. Life became devoted to childish things, a concentration that, of course, lasted for many years. In the meantime, the two original members of the family, inevitably, grew apart, that first blush of romance and eroticism giving way to being parents first, lovers a distant second.

In general, however, life was not bad. Cynthia temporarily retired from teaching social studies in the local high school and concentrated on child-raising, a tiring, frustrating occupation, but with obvious rewards. She served as a substitute teacher between pregnancies (her mother serving as baby-sitter) until the children were old enough, at which point she resumed her career. David, her husband, was in the corporate rat-race, working diligently to support the growing brood, putting in long hours and gradually rising in the company hierarchy. It was a hectic, very busy life for both of them, and one that predictably led them to have less and less in common -- except for the children. As is normal, however, the children grew up, developed friendships and relationships outside of the family, and, as they left home for college and their own lives, Cynthia and David had even fewer shared interests.

Cynthia had been 21 when they married, with the first baby born when she was 24. At 26 she had her second, with the last arriving when she was 29. Thus at the age of 44, twenty-year old and eighteen-year old sons were in college and a fifteen-year old daughter was a sophomore in high school. It was at this point, when her younger son went away to college, that she became increasingly aware that she and David hardly did anything together. While her career had blossomed (she was now the principal of the same high school that her daughter attended), and David was in an important administrative position in his company, there was something really missing in their relationship. David never had been particularly demonstrative in showing affection, but she couldn't remember the last time that he had kissed her, except for a pro forma peck "good night." They hadn't gone away alone, even for a weekend, since the first baby was born. She had accepted these things without thinking for years, but now they took on real importance. She knew that in two years they would be alone and all she could see coming was a sterile relationship, each having a career and just living together.

Once she recognized the danger in the situation, Cynthia became even more aware of their lack of intimacy and interconnection, and it began to become a major worry. She made a conscious effort to show affection, to be interested in his concerns at work, to arrange times for them to be alone. Unfortunately, while they were really quite compatible, shared a common interest in the activities and progression of the children, and, in general, had the same view of the world, there just wasn't a spark. Cynthia simply wasn't able to create that spark, and, as time went by, she really wanted something more than companionship.

She tried to put the best face she could on what she now saw as a major problem, acting as cheerful as possible and trying to put things in perspective. She knew that her marital difficulties paled into insignificance compared to those she read about in "Dear Abby." Many wives would have been delighted to have a stable marriage, good kids, no serious money worries, etc. Looked at like that, the things lacking in her life seemed petty and she ungrateful. Still, whatever the rationalization, something was missing -- and she just wasn't happy!

In any case, by the time that her daughter was ready for college, two years of effort had in no way improved the situation. She even had tried, several times, to instigate a discussion about their relationship, once very bluntly, mentioning a counselor, but David simply brushed her initiatives aside, showing no concern for her feelings. The proverbial straw that broke this particular camel's back came as their 25th wedding anniversary neared. Cynthia received a brochure from the resort where they had spent their honeymoon, offering special rates to commemorate the occasion.

One evening when they were alone, she dressed in a black, sheer baby doll nightgown, bought especially for the occasion, and, carrying the brochure, walked provocatively into the living room and sat down beside David. Leaning close to him, she showed him the picture of the resort, asking him, "Do you remember this place, honey?" As he nodded, rather disinterestedly, she hurried on. "Look, they are offering us a special rate because we were there on our honeymoon, twenty-five years ago. Wouldn't it be fun for us to go back up there for a second honeymoon? It would really be romantic!"

His reply shocked her. "Don't be silly! Why would we want to drive all the way up there just to celebrate an anniversary. We can do something here like we usually do."

Cynthia just froze, crushed and humiliated by his abrupt rejection. At that point, something that had atrophied already, her romantic feeling for David, died, or, at least, went into deep hibernation. Not saying a word, she simply got up, dropped the brochure in the wastepaper basket and walked into the bedroom. There she took off the sexy nightgown and carefully folded it, putting it away for another time, possibly one without her husband! She was proud that she hadn't cried or launched a tirade at his rebuff. She did break down and cry afterwards, but, at least, she upheld her dignity at the time.

She said nothing more about the resort, and when David, possibly trying to make amends (he was not a complete clod), invited her to go out to dinner on their anniversary, she graciously accepted. She admitted to herself that she actually hoped that something would happen, that the elusive spark would reappear, but it didn't. The dinner was good, the conversation a little strained at times, but not too much so, and, all in all, the evening went well. However, it was like going out with a colleague, a friend, or, even, a brother -- not a romantic night to celebrate twenty-five years together!

So, things continued as they had, an outwardly happy marriage with something missing at its core. Cynthia maintained a stoic composure, but inside the unhappiness was eating at her. As with many things, the denial of romantic intimacy made it even seem more desirable. Perhaps she should have brought the matter to a head by confronting David directly about the flaw in their relationship, but, somehow, she just didn't want too. Unfortunately, that hibernating or (dead) feeling toward David made her question as to whether she wanted to attempt a reconciliation. It's a measure of their relationship, and David's obtuseness, that through all of her internal travail, David never seemed to sense that she was upset or that anything was wrong!

Cynthia didn't dwell on the problem all the time -- she really had little time to dwell on anything with all of her duties. Most of the time she was more concerned with school, her daughter, and a multitude of other activities. However, late at night when she lay awake, the issue plagued her and she found her desire for real intimacy becoming more and more demanding. She wanted physical intimacy, of course, but, even more, she wanted a psychic closeness, a feeling that she mattered, that the other person cared for her -- not as a wife, not as a mother, but just for her! This was bottled up inside, at times almost causing her to either burst into tears or explode in rage. She needed to talk about it, to relieve the pressure by sharing her problem.

Cynthia's prime confidante was Cathleen Simmons (Cathy to those who knew her well), a very close friend for years, now retired, who was the school principal she had replaced. Cathy was one of those people who cared for and was very considerate of her subordinates, never acting superior or taking advantage of her position. She was always cheerful, enthusiastic and helpful to all she encountered. Consequently, she was loved and respected by everyone and, even alter retirement, she still was the person people turned to for advice or just to receive sympathetic support when the world was too heavy.

It should be noted that, despite being retired, she looked, dressed and acted much younger than her years, nothing like the stereotype retired teacher or administrator. As said before, Cynthia was extremely pressed for time, running the school as well as being a wife and mother of three children of her own. Now, with two sons in college and her daughter ready to leave, she should have had more free time, but, as usual, her work had expanded to fill her available time. Still, she and Cathy got together as often as possible for lunch, a play, or rarely, an evening alone. It was one of those evenings that turned out to be crucial for Cynthia.

They were sitting, talking quietly, when Cathy looked at her closely for a minute and finally asked, "What's troubling you, honey?"

Cynthia had decided not to burden Cathy with her personal problem, at least not that night, and had thought that she seemed perfectly normal. Surprised, she asked, "What do you mean? I'm not bothered by anything right now. I'm perfectly cheerful."

"Look, I've known you for some years now, and I know that when you act ultra-bright, too cheerful, that something is wrong. Did something blow up at school? Trouble with the board? What is it?"

Cynthia tried to keep smiling, but it was useless. Her resolve to ignore or, even, forget the problem for the evening crumpled and collapsed when faced with the sympathetic inquiry of her friend. Suddenly, tears welled up in her eyes and the whole story poured out as Cathy listened intently. Finally she ran down, concluding, "I suppose I'm being silly. David's not interested in other women, he's a good father, doesn't waste money, works hard. He does all the things a man should do except..." breaking down and sobbing, "...except paying attention to me. I want something more than us just being comfortable together!"

"Now look, you're not being silly! There should be some romance in marriage, not just living together and taking care of the kids. I hope you don't mind a personal question, but do you still have sex?"

"Oh yes, we still do that, and I enjoy it, but something is still missing. While we're obviously doing it together, it's almost as if we're doing it separately as far as feelings are concerned. Actually, of course, it's not the sex itself that's the problem, it's more that there just no fire, no interest in the relationship. I kept wanting David to show affection, some romantic feeling, but he just doesn't, and, worse, I guess, I don't care anymore whether he does or not. My feelings toward him are numb: l'm not angry, I don't dislike him, I still think that he's a fine person -- but I just don't care! Gods, I've even been thinking of having an affair just to have a romantic interlude, to get excited again!"

"Boy, you do have a problem! However, before you do anything desperate, I think that you should see a marriage counselor and see if something can be done to bring some interest or passion back. You don't want to ruin what you have in a wild attempt to find something better."

"Well, I certainly don't want to risk what I have, which is why, I guess, that I haven't done anything yet. But I don't want to go on like this! Do you really think a marriage counselor could help? I could never get David to go since he has no idea that anything is wrong. Can you believe that? He has no idea that I, or we, have a problem!"

"I'm sure that you could go alone, at least at first. You certainly have nothing to lose, and a counselor might be able to suggest ways to re-kindle your emotions and to get David to see that there is a problem."

The discussion went on for some time, with Cynthia finally agreeing to see a counselor. Cathy's sympathetic reaction, particularly her agreement that Cynthia was not being irrational in her need for more passion and affection in her marriage, really seemed to help. Feeling more cheerful to actually be doing something, she made an appointment the next following week. Meeting with the counselor, a Mr. James Silkin, and describing her marital situation in embarrassing detail, Cynthia sat back and hoped for some enlightening suggestions. Unfortunately, the advisor was not able to provide any substantive answers.

As he said, problems of this nature can be overcome only if both parties recognize the need and are willing to make concessions and changes. He did suggest that Cynthia try to arrange a second honeymoon-type rendezvous, try to arouse David's hormones by sexy dress and actions, etc., things that, as we've seen, she already had tried and which had failed. He suggested that she try to overcome her own negative feeling by thinking of David's (admittedly) good points. In other words, he offered nothing but bland, and useless, platitudes. In essence, he indicated that, barring divorce, which she certainly did not want, learning to live with it was the only real alternative.

However, it turned out that his services were not quite as useless as it appeared when he went on to say, candidly, "Mrs. Anders, I am a marriage counselor and I specialize in mediating between a husband and wife to help save their marriage. I really cannot help you very much, but I would recommend that you see a sex therapist who, I think, can help. She is Dr. Janice Butler, very well regarded in the field, and she can handle your type of problem better than I. I'll give you her card, if you wish, and you can make an appointment with her. After being assured that the suggestion did not mean that something was wrong with her, Cynthia agreed.

After meeting the Dr. Butler and having a preliminary discussion, Cynthia was given an evaluation sheet that probed her sexual history and practices in embarrassing detail:

______________________________________

Were you a virgin when married? Yes.

Do you enjoy sexual intercourse? Yes.

Do you have an orgasm from sexual intercourse? Usually.

How often do you have sexual intercourse? Once a week.

Are you satisfied with the frequency? No

If not, more or less often? More

In addition to vaginal intercourse, have you participated in:

Oral intercourse? Yes If yes, cunnilingus? Yes. If yes, fellatio? Yes

Anal intercourse? No. .

Do you masturbate? Yes If yes, how often? Once or twice a week.

[The questions continued on, an inquisition that laid bare virtually all aspects of Cynthia's sex life, things the she had never dreamed of revealing to anyone else. For example, she certainly had never even hinted to anyone that she masturbated, much less talked about it. A number of other questions went into her thought processes, and unveiled things she hadn't known about herself. It was an exhaustive review and, except for some of those embarrassing revelations, Cynthia actually found herself enjoying it. The final inquiry, however, did cause some hesitation as being almost too personal.]

Have you had extramarital relations? No.

If not, do you fantasize about having extramarital relations? Yes.

If yes, describe a fantasy that arouses you.

[It was at this point that Cynthia almost backed out, but having gone this far, she, reluctantly, described the following scenario.]

I'm at a close friend's house where she and her husband have a swimming pool. The three of us are in the water, batting a beach ball around. I'm wearing a very brief, two-piece suit, far more revealing than I have ever worn. The top is strapless and a little too large, and as I jump for the ball, it falls down, showing both breasts. I'm horribly embarrassed as I pull it back up, but they both just laugh. As we keep playing, the bra just will not stay up so my breasts keep being exposed. Finally, my friend says, "Cynthia, why don't you just take it off? We've seen them, so there's nothing to hide. I'll take mine off, too, so you won't be embarrassed."

We're both topless and it excites me to feel my breasts out bare and I can't help being fascinated by seeing her's exposed. We keep playing, but all three of us are more interested in looking at the breasts than the ball. We finally stop, and the husband, who seems very nice but who I don't know really well, helps me onto a float, touching my breasts as he does so. He feels them several more times as we play around in the water. My friend sees this but just smiles, obviously not minding. I really enjoy the attention and am aroused, both by being felt and having her watch.

Suddenly, she hears the phone ring inside the house and hurries in, leaving me and her husband alone. As soon as she is through the door, he pulls me over to the side of the pool, kissing me while fondling and squeezing my breasts. He takes down my pants and, raising my legs, enters me under the water. He screws me vigorously, pushing me back against the pool side. It feels wonderful. Just as we finish and he lets my legs drop, my friend comes out. I quickly pull up my pants, but she has to have seen what we were doing. Again, however, she just smiles, and the three of us act as if nothing has happened. When I leave, both kiss me goodbye, and insist that I come back very soon."

_____________________________________

When the questionnaire was finally completed and reviewed by Dr. Butler, Cynthia was asked to spell out in detail exactly what her problem was. Having gone over it with Cathy and the marriage counselor, Cynthia was well prepared to describe her marital relationship quite succinctly. After doing so, she summarized by saying, "The problem may not sound like much to an outsider, but I just feel that I am missing something. That life is going by and I have spent all my time working, taking care of the children's needs, worrying about how they're doing, running the house -- all those things. I also deal with David and his problems! I feel harried, pulled in all directions, with little to show for it. All this would be eased, be less a burden, if there was romance, some affection to lighten the load. Now I see a future with the children gone and just the two of us just living together. I'm sure David loves me, in his own way, but he's not demonstrative. Worse, he's oblivious to my feelings. I wanted us to get away for a weekend to celebrate our anniversary, a chance to be alone, and he said that he thought that it was a silly idea I don't think that he gave any thought to what I really wanted. He didn't know it, but I broke down and cried about that, and I haven't felt the same toward him since. That may seem trivial, but it was the final situation that epitomizes out life together. We live together, we even have sex, but we're not really together!

"Ok, Mrs. Anders, I think I have the picture. First, let me say that your responses on the questionnaire indicate that you are perfectly normal and, I may add, that your desires for your marital and sexual relationship are certainly reasonable. In addition, while this may not help, your situation is not really uncommon. Nature played a dirty trick on human beings in that men have their greatest sexual drive in their teens, gradually running down as they age. Women, on the other hand, tend to mature, sexually, later, and the sex drive grows as we age, with our peaks being reached in our 30's, 40's or, even, 50's and 60's. Consequently, you are in a period when sexual desire is high, while your husband has less interest. Men tend to focus on their work, an emphasis increased by insecurity, the need to advance and succeed -- in other words, the old rat race. This is not to say that a man's sex drive vanishes, but, unfortunately, living with the same woman for years, the mother of his children, tends to dampen his sexual attraction to her. Another woman, on the other hand, can kindle his interest, giving him an opportunity to prove that he is still attractive and virile. From what you say, this is not the situation with your husband, and, since you do have sexual intercourse, he has no physical inability.


Cynthia's Affair Ch. 01



"Now, it just may be that he is preoccupied, inundated with work, worried about his job -- any number of rational causes for his seeming lack of caring. Again, this is not uncommon, and many women find themselves in what are commonly referred to as "loveless" marriages. Frankly, most of the time, the lack of interest and demonstrated affection is a mutual thing and both husband and wife are just as happy to settle down to a comfortable, companionable relationship, held together by inertia, children, grandchildren and shared memories. The problem arises, as with you, when either party wants more than the other can, or will, give. That is the problem we must address.

"From what you've said, you have made real efforts, without success, to elicit signs of affection from your husband. Under the circumstances, Mr. Silkin's one alternative, that you learn to live with it, is the path that most women take. They sublimate their desire for affection and romance, accepting security and comfort as replacement for the more sensual pleasures. Divorce, of course, is theoretically another choice, but, as you said, you have no interest in that alternative. Now, Mr. Silkin is a marriage counselor, trained to mediate damaged marriages. That limits the proposals he can make. I, on the other hand, am a sex therapist, concerned with my client's mental and physical health. I want to find a way to help you, to find a way to solve your problem, not worrying about your husband's situation or the marriage itself. Obviously, your problem is best handled by preserving your marriage, but only in the context of your happiness. Therefore, I have to suggest another option, a possibly dangerous one, but one that I have proposed to other women in similar situations and with considerable success. It may sound immoral, or unethical, but I would like you to consider the possibility of having an affair."

Cynthia gasped and started to speak, but Dr. Butler went on, "Wait, I know that the idea of an affair, adultery if it is with a man, is hard to accept, but it could solve your problem. Understand, I'm not talking about a classic love affair where you run off together. No, I want you to consider a liaison with another person, exchanging affection and enjoying each other's company, as an adjunct to your marriage. Understand, finding such a person may be difficult, perhaps impossible. There is the danger of getting in too deep and ruining your marriage because you do want to run off together. You might be caught, your indiscretion revealed to your husband or, worse, to the public. In other word, there are real problems and dangers, but, it has worked for other women, actually saving their marriages by providing an outlet for their natural desires, desires that were not being met at home. Let's leave it at that for now. Go home, think about the potential risks and benefits, and see me next week."

The one thing that Cynthia had not revealed to Dr. Butler was the fact that she already had speculated on having an affair. Before, however, the thought had been merely that, speculation, with no serious intent to follow through. Now, with professional support behind the idea, it became more real, more serious -- and more frightening! This was going to take some careful evaluation to answer some very significant questions -- did she really want someone else, who would it be, how would she go about it, what would the effect be on her marriage, could she keep the affair separate from the marriage, did the morality issue bother her? These and a multitude of other issues inundated her. As she discovered, the fantasy of an affair and the reality of having one were two very different things. This was going to take very serious thought!



Cynthia's Affair Ch. 02



As might well be expected, Cynthia found it difficult to concentrate on mundane things for the next few days. She went over Dr. Butler's proposal time and time again, thinking of the dangers, the ramifications, the impact on her marriage, and, certainly not least, the question of infidelity and adultery. Against all these negative factors lay her real need for that elusive something that was missing in her life. She had felt her depression growing, held at bay by her busy life during the day, but threatening to engulf her at night. She recognized that she might be over-reacting, over-dramatizing the issue, seeking a chimera and letting it upset her life, but, as with most things, logic had little chance against emotion. She could come to no conclusion, and, needing impartial advice, raised the issue with Cathy. She described the entire interview in detail and finally, and hesitantly, told her of Dr. Butler's proposal. 

"I couldn't believe that she suggested an affair, particularly since I hadn't mentioned that I had already thought of it. Now, I just don't know what to do. I haven't been able to concentrate on anything else since I talked to her. Damn, it's one thing to speculate about doing something like that but to think of actually doing it!" 

"Well, honey, I don't think that anyone can tell you what you ought to do. It sounds like the therapist laid out the pros and cons pretty clearly. Certainly, if you go ahead with it, you will have the problems she mentioned. You are the only one who can decide if your situation is bad enough to be worth it. Heaven knows, I'd hate to have to make that decision for myself" 

Cynthia sat there, silently, and then blurted out, "Did you ever have an affair?" Before Cathy could respond, she hurried on, "What am I thinking of? I can't ask you a question like that. It's none of my business what you've done! The question is, what am I going to do!" 

"Now, wait, Cynthia! I don't mind talking about myself if it will help. If you mean, have I ever had a 'love affair,' the answer is no. If you mean, did I ever have extramarital sex, the answer is yes. However, my situation was completely different from yours. I certainly have never had any 'romance' problems with Eddie and the extramarital sex just happened. The first time was when I was one of the chaperons for the senior class trip to Washington, D.C. After the kids had been checked in and were in bed, several of us went out for a snack and drink before turning in ourselves. We were in two different hotels, so we separated afterwards and Don Anderson and I...do you remember him?" 

"Sure, he was the principal at Eastern H.S. when I was teaching there." 

"Well, we went back to our hotel, still talking, and, without really thinking anything about it, I invited him to my room to continue the conversation. I had known him and his wife, Tessie, for several years, even going out with them on occasion, and there had never been anything between us. However, the conversation quickly took on a more personal tone and, within a half-hour, we were in bed. We had sex, talked some more, had sex again, and went to sleep. He left around 6:00 AM. and snuck back to his room, leaving me stunned about what had I had done, but, I'll admit, not the least bit sorry. I wondered how on earth I would be able to face him with the others around the next day, but it was as if nothing had happened between us, and everything was perfectly normal. That night, I went back to my room without having talked to him alone. I went to bed and, as I anticipated, around 11:30 he knocked on the door and we spent the night together again." 

"Wow, that's something! Did Eddie ever find out?" 

"Oh, we came back home the next day, and the first thing I did was tell him about it! I knew that there was no way that l could conceal it from him, he knows me too well. If I try to hide something from him guilt just radiates from me." 

"My god, what did he do? Was he mad?" 

"Not a bit. I'll admit that I was a little uneasy at first, but he'd told me long ago that if I were ever in a situation that I didn't want to stop something, just to go ahead. He said that he wouldn't mind or be jealous as long as I was just playing around, not being serious. He was really happy that I'd enjoyed myself and I told him everything I had done. It was almost as much fun telling him as doing it!" 

"Oh, that's wonderful! I know that David would not react that way, and, I guess, not many men would. You're very lucky." She hesitated, then asked, "Did you do anything with Don Anderson after that? If you don't mind me asking!" 

"No, I don't mind. Since Eddie wasn't bothered, even encouraged me, I had sex with Don fairly regularly until he retired a few years ago and he and Tessie moved to Arizona. They were quite happy together, but she just wasn't interested in sex, so I didn't really feel that I was hurting her in any way. In any case, I guess you could call our liaison an 'affair' since it lasted over ten years, but it really was nothing but a series of pleasant sexual interludes. We developed a real affection for each other, but it really was just a very close friendship, certainly not a love relationship." 

"Darn it, that's exactly the kind of affair that I'd like to have! I don't want some big thing! How do you get something like that going? I went on that senior trip for years and no one ever even hinted at anything, much less make a pass at me!" 

"I don't know if you can start something like that. It may be that it just has to happen. On the other hand, would you even recognize the signs if a man were interested? No man, at least one you would be interested in, would blatantly proposition you. He would be afraid of offending you and would only hint, show extra interest in you -- things like that, and if you didn't pick up on it, he'd probably assume that you weren't interested. It's a very delicate game on both sides and unless one of you, somehow, makes the risky move from hinting to suggesting, nothing will happen. To tell the truth, to this day I really don't know just how Don and I moved from a casual conversation to going to bed together. I know that he didn't baldly proposition me and I also know that I didn't trumpet my availability, but the messages got across! 

I think, though, that men and women give unspoken signals to those in whom they might have interest, signals that they may well not know they are giving. When there is no interest, or the signals are missed, nothing happens. Most often, when the attraction is there, a rapport develops so that smiles, gestures, glances, or whatever, are more personal and have more meaning, each party subtlety indicating interest and availability. The next step toward a sexual relationship comes naturally." Then, laughing, "Heaven know, I'm no expert on this whole subject. Any time I've had a relationship, or whatever you want to call it, it seems to have just happened without any overt actions on my part. Things just seem to happen! I know that I'm not helping much!" 

In a way, Cynthia was shocked at her friend's admission of adultery, not shocked at the affair, itself, but just that she simply had never thought of Cathy and sex at the same time. On the other hand, thinking about it now, she realized, in retrospect, that men always seemed attracted to Cathy, talking and kidding with her, asking advice, and just, in general, enjoying her company. Even teenage boys had seemed to get crushes on her regularly while she taught high school classes. She radiated a sense of friendliness, of approachability, which appealed to both men and women, and, again in retrospect, Cynthia realized that she was very attractive -- not beautiful or with a perfect figure, just a very nice, outgoing woman that people liked. It was perfectly understandable that passes would be made at her, and, given her generous and friendly (and apparently sensual) nature, that some of those passes might be welcomed. Unfortunately, Cynthia recognized that she, herself; was not like that. While she was friendly and open with people, she simply didn't have in her personality whatever it was that caused men and women to gravitate to Cathy. Still, she realized that Cathy's story had crystallized things in her own mind.

"No, you did help, in two ways, I guess. First, if you could have an affair or affairs, it makes it more acceptable for me to do so. Somehow it makes the whole idea less frightening, less immoral, for I know that you are a good person! Secondly, if you enjoyed it enough to continue for so long, I think that I might have the same luck. Unfortunately, all I have to do is find the right man who is attracted to me, find a way to subtlety let him know that I'm interested, and go from there! Should be easy! Actually, I have no idea as to how to proceed, but, Cathy, you were a real help. When I talk to the therapist I intend to say that I do want to go on with it and see if she has any advice as to how to proceed. In any case, I can't thank you enough for telling me about your experience! I can't believe that I asked such a personal and intimate question, but it makes me feel very good that you trust me enough to answer. You're very sweet!

However, when Cynthia returned to Dr. Butler's office for her next appointment, she was due for a surprise. The therapist began with a few general remarks to put Cynthia at ease, and then began. "Now, Mrs. Anders, I don't want to trivialize your problem, but I must reiterate that it is quite common for women to find that their husbands have lost whatever romantic or affectionate impulses that they once had. There are multitudes of reasons for this, but we've already discussed them, and the important thing is that you feel deprived and unappreciated, regardless of the reason. I have found in the past that the best way to cause a woman to focus on her real problem, and decide how far she will go to remedy it, is to use shock treatment. So, at the end of last week's session, I proposed that you seriously consider having an affair. Now, I'm sure, despite the fact that you didn't mention it, that you had already thought of that option." Dr. Butler looked questioningly at Cynthia and was rewarded by a hesitant nod, accompanied by a crimson blush. 

Dr. Butler smiled, saying, "Actually, I think that all women in your situation think of an affair as, if nothing else, a way of saying, 'See, someone thinks I'm attractive and cares about me!' Usually, however, it's like a kid thinking of running away from home so that 'they'll miss me when I'm gone!' That's why I frequently suggest an affair at the end of the first discussion. Frankly, most women are not prepared to go that far, they just like thinking about getting back at their husbands, not actually doing anything. Shocking them with a proposal that they take such a dangerous action to brighten up their lives causes them to think about their whole life and, most often, they decide that things, overall, are not too bad. Living with it is better than any real alternative. However, the shock therapy also works the other way. After being forced to consider all the alternatives, some women decide that the risk is worth it, and we go from there. Now, where do you fit?" 

"I honestly don't know what to tell you. I've thought it over very thoroughly, and, if I had the opportunity, I would have an affair. I've thought of the moral angle, and that doesn't bother me. The idea of being unfaithful, an adulteress, if you like, doesn't faze me. Actually, to be honest, I do have qualms about that, but not enough to stop me if I had the chance. I recognize the dangers you mention, and they would worry me, but, again, not enough. So, I guess the bottom line is, I'm ready for an affair, but I have no idea how to go about it! How does one start something like that? Who would I do it with? I've wracked my brain ever since l decided that I would like to go through with it, but I've come up with no answer. Good heavens, I'm a high school principal, approaching fifty. My figure is still good, I'm not overweight, and, if you'll forgive the immodesty, my mirror tells me that I'm still rather pretty -- but I'm still a 46 year-old married woman with a husband and three children!" 

"Well, of course, you've pinpointed one of the problems. An affair is easy if you spot someone across the room at, say, a convention, a spark flies, and you end up in bed. Simple, straight forward and, if you're lucky, instead of a one-night stand, you start a pleasant, perhaps long-lasting, affair. However, a spur of the moment happening like that is very different from cold-bloodedly deciding to have an affair and then looking for a prospect. For men, it's easier, of course. If a man decides that he wants an affair, co-conspirator unspecified, he can approach it many ways: ask a co-worker out to lunch and proposition her, get a female friend into a corner at a party and subtly proposition her, or, if worst comes to worst (and he just wants sex) pick up someone at a bar. If he's rejected, he can always act as if he were joking, or high, or just pretend that he was misunderstood. In any case, he's "just being a man" or having a male 'mid-life crisis.' 

"Even in the modern world, a woman, particularly a middle-aged woman, cannot do those things. Oh, she can flirt and tease, thus hinting that she is available, but the man must normally make the first move. Unfortunately, if a man is of a mind to seek extramarital solace, and thus ready to take the initiative, he is most likely to look for a younger partner, not someone his own age or older. So, in addition to the dangers of a sexual liaison, a woman must add the difficulty of making contact with a man of the quality to appeal to her." 

"In other words, while I have decided that I would actually like to have an affair despite those dangers, I can't do it anyway!" 

"Oh, now, all isn't lost. There are still things you can do. First, you need to think carefully about the men you know who might be available. Has anyone hinted to you, or as they say now, 'hit' on you? Is there someone who really attracts you? You go to conferences, so you should think of men you've met there. You could be much freer to show your availability to someone away from home -- perhaps dress more provocatively, "accidentally" expose something, maybe seem to drink a little too much. The problem, of course, is what you want out of the experience. If it's just extramarital sex, perhaps doing something different with a different person that is one thing. On the other hand, if what you want is a relationship, sex combined with something more personal, more emotionally satisfying, it's something else. 

"The first, you can get from virtually any acceptable man, probably at a convention, meeting, or whatever. Such contacts can be very satisfying, permitting a renewal of sexual interest, perhaps engaging it carnal acts that you have never done, or would think of doing, with your husband. A woman can be much more wanton, engage in lascivious activities, when involved with someone who is almost a stranger. As a sex therapist, I have talked with numerous women who have performed sexual acts that would simply shock their husbands, yet they have found those acts to be very exciting. The whole process can be very therapeutic. 

"However, if you desire the latter, a relationship, and I think you do, it becomes more complicated. A one-night stand cannot give you the lift and support you want, for that requires an emotional commitment, genuine affection. Sexual intercourse, in all its variants, can be exhilarating when there are no ties between the participants -- sheer physical pleasure without worrying about the other person or what they think of you. Nonetheless, sexual pleasure can be just as intense, perhaps more so, without actual intercourse if there is real affection, even love, between the parties. That, of course, is what you find missing between you and your husband: so having sex with him, while physically pleasurable, leaves you feeling unfulfilled

Cynthia listened intently to Dr. Butler's discourse, nodding her head in agreement with most points, particularly her last statement. "That is exactly the situation! It's physically exciting while we're doing it, but when we're finished, I feel sort of empty! I'd rather just lie there, being held and, maybe, fondled, even if we didn't have intercourse. I'd feel more loved, more appreciated! Then I'd really enjoy being screwed!" Suddenly, realizing what she'd said, Cynthia blushed, adding, "I guess I shouldn't say 'screwed,' but it just came out." 

"Good heavens, I'm a sex therapist! I doubt that there's a word I haven't heard or used dealing with sex. Call it screwing, fucking, whatever seems natural to you. I certainly won't be offended! Now, back to the real issue. What you want is, of course, extraordinarily difficult to get. It's hard enough to find a man with whom to have sex, considering the natural limitations you are faced with. Unlike a man, you can't even, and certainly wouldn't want, to just go out and pick up someone to screw you. It wouldn't do what you want, anyway. But, that would be easy compared to finding someone to give you affection, to lie quietly in bed holding you, without creating other problems. Even if you did find such a person, you risk having the affair becoming too intense. So, if you do find someone, you have to walk a very thin line between a purely physical relationship that might be exciting but is as unfulfilling as screwing at home, and a close, emotional bond that would threaten your marriage." 

Cynthia looked as if she were going to cry as she said, tremblingly, "I've thought of a lot of this, but hearing you spelling it out so clearly makes me realize that there is little I can do. I can't just go out and find someone, and no one is going to find me!" Then, angrily, "I'm stuck! I feel like putting one of those ads in the paper, '46 year-old married woman wants affair. Needs love and affection that husband doesn't supply!'" 

"Say, now, don't get upset. I just want to be very sure that we know what you want and that you are really aware of the problems. I know that it sounds discouraging, but it doesn't mean that there is no hope. Extramarital relationships are difficult and, if you are certain that you want to go on, you need to consider the possible partners. I think that the next thing you should do is to think of all the men you know who appeal to you and seem to like you in return. Do any of them go out of their way to talk to you? Have they commented on your clothes or your hair? Has anyone kidded you about how attractive you are? The recent sexual harassment protections for women, unfortunately, have made men reluctant to make that kind of comment, but if they have done so it may show real interest. 

If such interest exists, and you're interested, forget your natural reserve and shyness, and respond warmly. If he asks you to go for lunch, don't say you have to work, pick up your daughter, or any of the other lame excuses that keep you from taking a chance and being available. For that matter, in today's world, you could ask him out to lunch if you have a school business justification. In other words, if someone interests you, work on him subtly, show your own interest and let him make the moves. He'll work to seduce you if he sees that you might succumb. Now, off the top of your head, can you think of someone who might be a candidate?" 

"Unfortunately, I can't. The men I deal with, teachers mostly, are married and are my subordinates. I just don't have a chance to meet many men that I could have an affair with, even if I was attracted to them. We do have teacher conferences and "retreats" where other schools are represented, so, I guess, something would be possible there, but I certainly would have no opportunity or time to have anything but what you called a 'one-night stand.'" 




Cynthia's Affair Ch. 02



"I see what you mean. What about your friends' husbands? Have any of them seemed particularly interested in you? Understand, I'm not proposing that you do anything with them. I just want to know if you have observed anything." 

"No...no, not really." 

"I was interested in that fantasy you described, for several reasons. Did you have any particular friend and her husband in mind?" Cynthia shook her head. "You seemed to enjoy exposing yourself to them. Has anything like that ever happened in real life?" Again, Cynthia shook her head. "Would you like that fantasy to come true just as you imagined it?" 

This time Cynthia hesitated, then replied, "Yes, I think I would! Actually, I don't know how I would react if it did, but right now I would love it!" 

"Ok. Now, I particularly noted that you had your friend know that her husband was feeling you, and, particularly, that she undoubtedly saw that her husband had screwed you. Was that just because you prefer not doing it behind her back, or does it excite you that she saw you having sex with him." 

"Oh, my heavens! I don't know. No, I don't think it's because I wouldn't want to hide it. I guess I just liked having her see me having sex. Yes, I guess the idea does excite me, at least a little bit" 

"All right. Next, when your friend showed her breasts, you were quite interested in looking at them. Does the idea of seeing another woman exposed like that arouse you?" 

"Gods, I don't think so...but, maybe...let me think a minute." After more than a minute, she finally continued, "I did like looking at them and, running that scene through my mind right now, I do feel excited. It's a combination of being half naked myself with them looking at me and her also being topless. This is embarrassing, but I do fantasize about how her breasts look, picturing them bouncing and quivering. I've never thought of this specifically before, but when her husband is feeling my breasts, I'm staring directly at her's." She paused briefly, and blurted out, "I don't believe I'm saying this! It's being taken by her husband which really drives the fantasy and brings me to orgasm, but she does play a major part!" 

"Have you ever fantasized about being completely naked in that scenario?" 

Cynthia blushed, and looking down, admitted, "Sometimes. Usually it's after I've been screwed. He has taken my pants off and they have floated away. There's no question this time that my friend saw him having me, but she just gets a towel to cover me. I'm horribly embarrassed, but she hugs me as she wraps me in the towel, showing that she isn't angry. I guess it is important to me that she doesn't mind, for I always include that!" 

"Have you ever pictured doing anything with her, or is it always just with the husband? 

"Just the husband except for looking and the hugging." 

"You said that you would like to have a real experience like your fantasy. Would you want it to be a real threesome, that is to say, all three of you having sex together?" 

"Gods, I don't know! I never thought of it. I just created a fantasy that excited me -- but, I guess, having her there was important. I just don't know. Maybe if we were all wrestling around in the pool it might be exciting to touch her."

"Have you ever thought of having sex with a woman?" 

"Good heavens, no! I'm not a lesbian!" 

Dr. Butler laughed, saying, "I'm quite sure that you are not a lesbian, Mrs. Anders, but I think some defining and background are in order. A lesbian is a woman who can be aroused sexually only by another woman. For almost all lesbians, having a man penetrate her is, at best, uninteresting, and most likely is repulsive. A completely heterosexual woman, if there is such a person, can be aroused only by a man, but I've never run across a woman like that. Researchers have discovered that the most intense orgasms for most women come not from sexual intercourse, but from having their sex organs, particularly their clitoris, caressed by fingers and/or tongues. That way she is in control of speed and timing and can build up at her own rate. Now, in bed, in the dark, it doesn't really matter if the fingers or tongue is male or female -- except psychologically, of course. 

"In reality, however, most men tend to be heavy-handed or too much in a hurry, and, as might be expected, in actual blind tests where women haven't known the sex of their partners, they almost invariably choose a woman over a man. That doesn't mean that these women prefer women to men as permanent partners, just that even heterosexual women can be aroused by other women. From my experience and the research of others, almost all women are, at least to some degree, bisexual. This does not mean that most women are eager to jump into bed with another woman! No, it just means that virtually all women can be aroused sexually by fondling or being fondled by other women. 

"There is nothing new in this, for research has shown this kind of intimacy has existed in all societies. For example, in the middle ages, when the men were attending to male business, training, battles, crusades, jousts, etc., women were let alone for long periods. It was just assumed that if the queen or princess needed to be 'relaxed,' the ladies-in-waiting or female servants, would relieve her tensions, using their fingers and tongues. The ladies-in-waiting were of the nobility themselves, and would expect to be 'relaxed' in the same way by their retainers and servants. This 'servicing' would go down the line with women helping each other in this way. Actually, such activities were looked upon as relatively innocent pleasures and were not really thought of as sex acts, just normal intimacy among women. In fact, several manuscripts encouraged such exercises to reduce the 'humors' that caused women to commit adultery. 

"Even in the much later Puritan society, you have the unspoken acceptance of female intimacy. An engaged couple, a man and woman, could sleep in the same bed, fully dressed, with a board between them to ensure propriety. Bundling, of course. But, two women, wearing only night dresses could sleep together with no barriers. If under the covers, they fondled and caressed each other, even to orgasm, there was no sin impugned, no scarlet letter or hair shirt required. Cotton Mather and the other insurers of righteousness never spoke out against what was a very common practice. It just wasn't seen as a sin! 

"Even today, many people tend to excoriate lesbianism -- although fewer than in the past -- female intimacy is still encouraged by our mores. Women routinely hug and kiss each other, they help each other dress and try on clothes. Even women who consider themselves to be complete heterosexuals feel free to touch their friends, even intimately, at times...helping shave pubic hair so a bikini can be worn, fitting a bra, putting sun protection onto parts of the body that usually are not exposed to the sun. While these contacts are not overtly sexual in nature, they often are pleasant, and mildly erotic, with both parties enjoying the innocent touching. 

"Now, that brings us back to the present situation. Having a sexual relationship with another woman can range from merely lying in bed holding each other and relishing the closeness, all the way to cunnilingus. Your fantasy shows your interest in looking at and, I suspect, touching your friend's breasts. I suspect, also, that your desire to have her see you having sex with her husband indicates that you would like to have her join in. It appears to me that you have definite bisexual tendencies, which, as I said before, makes you perfectly normal.

"What does that mean? Primarily that I think that you might well consider having an affair, if that's what you would call it, with a woman. The degree of intimacy and the type of sexual gratification you would employ would depend of your mutual feelings, but the advantages of such a liaison are significant.

"First, given the limitations you function under in attaining a relationship with a man, you definitely are going to have serious problems. You seemingly have no candidates in mind, have few opportunities to develop outside friendships that could blossom and, even if you did make contact, you still have the danger of indiscretion, scandal, and perhaps getting in too deep. In addition, while the moral issue of adultery wouldn't stop you, a female to female relationship removes the issue completely. On the other hand, you probably have many women friends, some quite close, who might well be potential partners. If something did develop, there would be little or no danger of discovery. Two women can visit each other at any time without anyone asking questions. It is expected that they will share a room when traveling. In other words, such a relationship is clearly safer than a male-female affair. In addition, the danger of becoming too deeply involved is almost zero. 

"Secondly, a woman might well be more inclined to give you the affection and closeness you want. Women, in general, tend to have more empathy in these situations than men, less concerned about their own needs. In an affair, a man's first interest, naturally, is sex, the reason he is involved in the first place. He may actually have affection for the woman, but, unless it is a true 'love affair,' his motivation, bluntly, is to have sexual intercourse with her. Presumably, unless it is such a 'love' affair, that also is her primary motivation. For non-lesbian women, on the other hand, sex comes later if she's with another woman. A normal friendship gradually develops into a more intimate friendship, which, in turn, may become a sexually intimate friendship. 

"The friendship remains the basis of the relationship, with sex being a pleasant sidelight. That sidelight, however, may be very important to both parties, adding a closeness that no non-sexual friendship can bring. For a bisexual woman, this kind of sex will not bring the same physical 'high' that she may get with a man, but it usually is soothing and arousing at the same time, and quite satisfying. It's like comparing a cake made from scratch with one made from a box. The scratch-made cake, or sex with a man, may be excellent or it may be a failure, or anything in between. A box cake, or sex with a woman, is uniformly good, with no real highs, but no real lows. Just a very nice cake!" 

Through all this discussion, Cynthia sat listening, a blank, sort of stunned, expression on her face. She was fascinated by Dr. Butler's discourse, but her mind was in a real muddle as she tried to relate it to her own situation. This last analogy, however, struck her as funny and relieved her tension somewhat and she was able to laughingly say, "Well, I use cake mixes all the time and think that they are very good! However, I don't think that I will be able to use one again with exactly the same feeling!" 

Dr. Butler also laughed, and then went on, "Now, I'd like you to think about all this with an open mind. I don't usually bring myself into these sessions, but l will tell you that while I am strongly heterosexual, I have enjoyed relationships with women and found them to be just as I've described them to you. Whether you want to try the bisexual approach is, of course, completely up to you. I would suggest that before next week you give it serious thought. Think of the alternatives, analyze your own feelings and prejudices and, perhaps, try to think of a fantasy incorporating female sex. Maybe it would be best to write down any such fantasy and we can discuss it then. An easy way into this would be to develop the fantasy you described to me, but turn it into a real threesome. Combining sex with both a man and a woman might be a way of approaching it. In fact, being involved in a threesome is one of the most common ways in which women are initiated into bisexual activities. In any case, think about it, and, if it's just not for you, we can think about to whole problem again."



Cynthia's Affair Ch. 03



The next few days were extraordinarily difficult for Cynthia. She had been disappointed, if not surprised, that Dr. Butler had been unable to offer real hope for solving her problem. The difficulties she faced in having an affair of the type she needed were obvious even before seeing the therapist, but she had hoped. On top of that, the idea that she should consider a sexual relationship with a woman left her with internal conflicts that she didn't understand. Like most women, she had been socialized to believe that female to female sex was only the province of lesbians, and that lesbians were "different," if not perverted. That was politically incorrect to believe in the modern world, but it was what Cynthia had been taught and such teaching was hard to overcome. She, herself, had no prejudice against lesbians, having at least two on her teaching staff but she still had considered their sexual preferences hard to understand. She always had known that she was completely heterosexual, and, to the best of her recollections, had never, consciously, at least, been aroused by another woman. Now, to her consternation, she had her sexual underpinnings weakened beneath her. 

She had heard of bisexuals, of course, but never had thought much about them, considering them to really be lesbians masquerading as normal women. Now, she had been shown that bisexuality, far from being an isolated variant on lesbianism, was a historically accepted practice among ordinary, heterosexual women. More, focusing on her own fantasies, Cynthia had to admit that, at the least, limited sexual contact with other women did appeal to her! That admission, itself, was traumatic and unexpected, causing her to think about things that had been unthinkable a few days ago. She was honest enough with herself, however, to realize that while she hadn't conceived of them in her mundane, daytime thoughts, her more open, uncontrolled nighttime fantasies had placed her in positions that showed unrealized bisexual tendencies. Nothing overt, of course, but there, nonetheless. In all of her fantasies, including the one detailed to Dr. Butler, another woman was almost always present, playing a minor or passive role, but there. 

What she still found very hard to accept, however, was the idea of actually being physically intimate with another woman. Having her present, even participating through hugging, kissing or, seemingly, inadvertently touching, was appealing, but she couldn't picture going past that point. Regardless of that, though, she was sure that Dr. Butler was correct when she had said that a woman probably would show more empathy and, perhaps, would provide the closeness and affection she wanted and needed. Thinking of that, she was forced to admit to herself that the idea of lying in bed with another woman, sharing her problems with a sympathetic, loving friend, feeling close and appreciated, did have real appeal without any questionable sexual connotations. That kind of bisexual relationship had great attraction for Cynthia, but, that seemingly inevitable physical intimacy continued to be a major roadblock.

Still, following the therapist's suggestion, she tried to fantasize about a more erotic relationship with another woman, but found it very difficult. Somehow, some internal censor seemed to present a barrier to what, subconsciously, still seemed to be a perversion, at least for her. One thing was certain. When she thought of sex, she thought of men, not women! Oddly enough, however, she had never been turned on by looking at pictures of nude men, but had enjoyed looking at photographs or paintings of nude women. She always had considered that preference to be based on esthetics and a recognition of beauty, not sex, but, now she wasn't quite so sure. Trying hard to think of a scenario that might be exciting, however, she suddenly had a forgotten, or suppressed, memory from over twenty years before spring into her mind. 

She had been a junior in college and she had been sunning to try and get an early tan. She was lying on her stomach with the strap of her bra top unfastened to avoid lines. As Cynthia recalled the occasion, she was lying with her head resting on her arms when a friend from the dorm, sitting nearby, offered to put sun tan lotion on her back. It felt very good as her back was rubbed, her friend saying, "Your back still has some tan, but I had better put plenty of this stuff on your white areas." As she spoke, she began smoothing the lotion onto the exposed side of Cynthia's breast, saying, "Boy, your skin here will really burn if it's not covered! Raise up a bit." Without thinking, Cynthia raised her left side, the one closest to her friend, letting more of her breast show. 

She felt a funny tingle as the fingers gently spread lotion on the newly exposed area, reaching perilously close to her nipple. Suddenly a little shy, she lowered herself back down without saying anything. Leaning over her, the friend continued sliding her hands over Cynthia's back, and, leaning over, said, "I'd better get the other side too. A burn there would really hurt." It was all very innocent, and as the fingers began spreading the lotion on the side of her right breast, Cynthia, without being asked, raised her right side to give her friend better access. Again, the fingers gently smoothed the cool lotion on, coming closer to the nipple. This time, Cynthia forced herself to stay still, and suddenly, the fingers touched the nipple, circling it slowly as her friend laughingly said, "There, we don't want that to get burned!" With that, she went back to her book, obviously unaware of the tingles that still coursed through Cynthia's body. 

Many years later another tingle went through Cynthia as she remembered that long forgotten experience. It really had been innocent, but it had excited her then and she felt a surprising amount of heat as she considered it now. Actually, her arousal then probably would have occurred regardless of the sex of the person touching her. Her breasts always had been sensitive, so having them touched was stimulation enough, but, the feeling had been different from past occasions with a boyfriend. "Maybe," she thought, "I could be aroused by another woman caressing me. Its funny Fingers don't have sex, but when the fingers belong to a woman, they do have a different impact! What earthly difference does it make whether it's a man or woman if it's just feeling and fondling? I wish I could try that blind testing that Dr. Butler talked about to see if I could tell the difference – or if I would prefer a woman's touch if I couldn't!" 

The whole subject tended to dominate her thinking when she wasn't busy, particularly as she lay in bed at night beside her sleeping husband. She continued to fantasize, to try to open her mind along the lines suggested by Dr. Butler, but found it very hard to focus on another woman. As before, she seemed to gravitate toward a threesome, but, reluctantly accepting the tact that the woman in the scene did interest her, she finally was able to picture both of the others participating. Following the therapist's instructions, she wrote down the fantasy in as much detail as possible. 

My husband and I have driven for hours to visit a college friend of mine and her husband. My husband is very tired and around 10:00 PM goes to bed. It's a warm night, and later my friend asks me if I'd like to go into the pool for a little while. I decline, saying that my suit is still packed, but they tell me that they always swim nude at night. They both urge me to join them, saying that it was dark anyway. I don't want to seem prudish so I let them persuade me. 

We go out to the pool and start to undress. It's not really dark, and I'm embarrassed to find myself staring at my friend's nude figure, particularly her large breasts, as she quickly disrobes. She sees me looking, but obviously doesn't mind. Both she and her husband watch as I undress and I know that they can see everything. Her husband playfully chases her around to try and dunk her, then comes after me. We wrestle around with a great deal of touching going on. Finally, he grabs me and lifts me onto a float. I'm lying on my back with him looking down at my nude body. He starts to run his hands all over me, concentrating on my breasts. I close my eyes and let him feel me as a surge of excitement floods through my body. 

His one hand slides down to my crotch and I part my legs to give him access. He strokes up and down between my legs while his other hand continues to fondle one breast. Suddenly, I feel another hand on the other breast and another hand joining his between my legs. My eyes spring open and I see my friend smiling down at me as she helps her husband fondle me. She leans down and kisses me and, then, kisses my nipple, taking it between her lips. I shut my eyes again and just let them play with me. I spread my legs wider as my excitement grows. One of them tickles my clit while the other puts their finger into me and slips it in and out. I can't tell which is which. I start to move up and down, aroused almost to the point of orgasm, when they pull away. 

The husband puts his arms under me, lifts me up, and carries me out of the pool and lays me down on a chaise. Lifting and opening my legs, he gets between them and enters me. I am wildly excited as he has me, welcoming him in as deeply as possible as he screws me. As we screw, my friend fondles my breasts with one hand while feeling and probing my bottom with the other. I erupt in a tremendous climax as he finishes and pulls out of me. My legs slump down and I collapse back on the chaise. My friend embraces and kisses me, and I am very aware of her breasts against mine. As we get up, nothing is said about what we have just done, just another hug and kiss from each of them. I gather up my clothes and walk naked into the bedroom where my husband is sleeping, wondering about what will happen tomorrow. 

As Cynthia re-read what she had written, she felt a wave of embarrassment flood through her, wondering if she possibly could let Dr. Butler read it. It seemed so graphic, almost depraved, and she couldn't believe that she actually had pictured such an erotic scene. Even worse, she had to admit to herself that the whole thing aroused her tremendously! She found herself both dreading and anticipating her next session with the therapist! Just before she was to have that meeting with Dr. Butler, however, she spent an evening with Cathy, once again seeking her advice. Not surprisingly, once there she found herself unable to bring up the subject of her possible sexual activities and they spent over an hour discussing unimportant happenings. They talked about school, possible holiday trips, a massage workout that helped Cathy's sore thigh muscles, and other forgettable topics. Finally, Cathy, well aware of Cynthia's hesitation to bring up her personal problems, decided to break the ice herself, asking, "Have things gotten any better, or have you thought any more about having an affair?" 

Having the subject broached, Cynthia was able to open up, and, for the next half hour, poured out her frustrations as Cathy listened attentively. "So, after all that talk about an affair, the end result seemed to be that I couldn't do it! There's no realistic way that I can make contact with another man and have a nice, safe relationship. Then, she looked over that fantasy I told you about, asked me a bunch of questions, and alter all that, said that maybe I should consider having an affair, if you can call it that – really having sex – with another woman! Good heavens, I've never thought of such a thing, but she said that almost all women are bi-sexual by nature. 

"Apparently there have been all sorts of studies showing that. Anyway, she gave a bunch of reasons why sex with a woman would be good for me. She even said that she had tried it with another woman and that it was very nice. She said that should try to fantasize about it and about a threesome, and I have, but I just don't know what to do! The fantasies do excite me, but I don't know what I want in real life!" 

They talked at length about the therapist's analysis and proposals, always coming back to the question of a bi-sexual as opposed to a heterosexual relationship. Finally, after a long, unproductive discussion, Cynthia asked, hesitantly, "Cathy, can I ask you another personal question?" 

At that, Cathy laughed, saying, "I've been waiting for that! No, I never have been involved with a threesome, but I have had sex with a woman." 

The expressions that flitted across Cynthia's face were fascinating. First embarrassment and chagrin at being so obvious, followed immediately by startlement or shock that her friend admitted committing what she still subconsciously thought of as a perverse act. Almost before that thought was reflected on her face, however, it was replaced by anxious hopefulness as she realized that Cathy's experience might help her. The expressions flicking across her face mirrored the confused state of her mind, not knowing quite how to react to what really was an unexpected confession. 

Cathy had correctly anticipated her question, of course, but Cynthia had assumed that the answer would be "no." She was going to ask the question, but she fully expected to hear "of course not,' a response that would permit her to dismiss the whole idea. She was not prepared for "yes" and didn't know what to say next. Embarrassed, she began to stammer out an apology for asking such a very personal question, but Cathy headed her off. 

"It's ok, dear, just calm down and I'll tell you all about it. Heaven knows, I not ashamed of what I did and I certainly don't mind telling you about it. This happened about ten years ago. A very close friend, my college roommate, lived just out of town with her family and, two or three times a year, when Eddie was on a trip, she would drive in and spend the night or weekend with me. This time, Eddie had been in Central America for almost three months, working, and I was climbing the walls. I might have seen Don Anderson, but he was spending the summer in Arizona, so I was really 'horny,' if you'll excuse the expression. As a result, I was delighted when Maggie – her name is Maggie O'Rourke – came to visit, hoping to have something else to think about. 

We went out to dinner, and, afterwards, it was very nice, just sitting around, talking late while having a couple of drinks. Maybe more than a couple. Finally, after we ran down, or were too high to go on, we changed and went to bed. We had always enjoyed lying there, talking quietly before going to sleep, the conversation easy, and frequently more personal, in the darkness. As we relaxed, we talked about sex and having affairs for a while, both of us getting a bit excited, I think. We had done that before, many times, and I loosened up enough to tell her about my frustration and to say, kiddingly, that men are never around when you need them. 

"At last, we seemed to be talked out, but I felt a strange tension in the air. As she often did, she leaned over and gave me a quick peck on the cheek, saying "goodnight" as she did so. Whether it was the liquor, the intimate conversation or just affection built up over the years, we both spontaneously reached for the other and turned the peck on the cheek to a deep, very erotic, kiss. It's still a blur, but I remember fanatically embracing her, hugging and squeezing our bodies together, matching the intensity of her reaction as we writhed against each other. I don't think that either of us realized what we wanted until suddenly we were into it! If either of us had thought of doing anything like that, we probably would have chickened out, shocked at ourselves and afraid of offending the other, but, fortunately, it hit us both simultaneously and everything blended together. 

We proceeded, without a word, to have sex, make love, or whatever you would call it. We did everything, and I enjoyed every bit of it. She was more aggressive, or brave, and did me first, kissing down my body and using her fingers and tongue to set me off. I then did it all to her and got excited all over again. You know, it is a very pleasant experience, being down there, helping the other person work up higher and higher until they climax. It's very satisfying feeling. In any case, we finally finished and fell asleep, holding each other. It was funny, waking up that morning, naked in bed with a naked woman against me, but, oddly enough, neither of us was the least bit embarrassed or remorseful, and we just, matter-of-factly, got dressed and had breakfast. Really, it was very satisfying, very pleasant, with no guilt feelings or hang-ups. There! Does that tell you what you wanted to know?" 

Cynthia momentarily was at a loss for words. She had heard far more than she had thought possible, and, once again, she found herself reassessing her very close friend. Here was a sensible, stable, very intelligent woman, much admired and respected by everyone. Yet, in her private life she had freely admitted to having several extramarital affairs and, now, without hesitation, described having a bisexual relationship. Cynthia had found it difficult to discuss the question of female-to-female sex, or even to picture it in a fantasy, but, as Cathy described it, the relationship seemed so inevitable, so natural – and so enjoyable! 

After staring blankly for a few moments, Cathy's question sank in, and she replied, "Oh, Cathy, thank you for telling me! I still find it hard to believe it, though. We were talking so calmly about me, and I never really thought that you might already have done what I was thinking of. Damn it, you really are something! You're so...so normal looking and acting. No, that's the wrong word, so ordinary...oh, you know what I mean! It's just that no one would ever even think of you doing things so out of the ordinary, so, I guess, immoral. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not criticizing. I think it's wonderful! In any case, you certainly did have an experience! Was that the only time you did it with her? I won't even ask if you mind my nosiness – it's too late for that!" 

"Heavens, no, we got together quite a few times after that, and it certainly made Eddie's trips more bearable! Her husband turned out to have high blood pressure and the medicine made him impotent for almost two years, so she needed relief too. We really helped each other! Funny thing, though, we had been very close for years, all the way back to college, and we had never even thought of sex between us. It surely deepened our friendship, though, and we were very intimate until she and her husband moved to Phoenix four years ago." 

"You really did enjoy it then!" 

"Cynthia, honey, I'll be completely honest with you. While I have had extramarital sex with other men... quite good sex... if I had to choose, I would take the relationship I had with Maggie over all of those occasions. The sex was more intense with the men, but more comfortable, more psychologically satisfying, with her. It's hard to explain, but, as I said before, it was just very pleasant. There was no pretense, no need to indulge the male ego. 'Comfortable' and 'pleasant' are the words that keep coming to mind. Lying beside her, seeing and feeling her, occasionally exciting her to orgasm, gave me a great deal of pleasure. Needless to say, when she did the same thing to me, it was very enjoyable! Much of the time we did little more than hold and caress each other. With a man, the full sex act is the main thing and the softness usually gets lost. Don't mistake me now, I really like being screwed and if I hadn't been getting that from Eddie, Maggie never would have been enough. But, Eddie combined with Maggie was the best sex I've ever had! Frankly, I think that having that kind of very warm, very intimate relationship with another woman would be better for you than an affair with a man!" 




Cynthia's Affair Ch. 03



"Well, you certainly make the whole idea more appealing to me, and certainly less scary, but I still wouldn't know how to start. Dr. Butler suggested that a threesome would ease me into it, but I wouldn't know how to have one of those either." 

"That's the problem, dear, and I'm afraid I'm no help there. When I have had relations with men, I have never started anything. Oh, I have made myself available when I was attracted to a man, but the initiative always came from him. With Maggie, absolutely nothing would have occurred between us except for that unique set of circumstances I described. If we had been completely sober, we probably never would have considered doing what we did. As far as a threesome goes, I never would have had any interest in doing anything with her husband, even if he had been there. On the other hand, I certainly would not have objected to having a threesome with her and Eddie, and, thinking about it, it sounds very exciting, but the subject just never came up. So, while I can tell you, unequivocally, that sex with her was a very pleasant experience, I can't give you advice as to how to start such a relationship with another woman, much less how to start a threesome. I guess that you would almost have to have a relationship with the woman first, although," laughing, "I suppose a male lover could introduce you to his wife!" 

"Sure, but, in either case, I have to have some kind of affair first! I'm right back where I started!" 

"Unfortunately, I'm afraid you're right and I wish I could help. I will say that whether or not you and David continue to have a problem, I think that an outside sexual experience would be good for you. I know in my case that having extramarital experiences changed me, made me feel, somehow, more complete. My horizons certainly were broadened and I felt more independent. Being part of a couple or a family is unquestionably the best arrangement, but it's also nice to be by yourself; moving in a different circle, once in a while. It's awfully easy to become stale, to just go through the motions of living in the same old rut. I was very lucky, the way things worked out, and I just hope that you get lucky, one way or the other." 

That effectively ended their conversation on the subject, leaving Cynthia far more open-minded on the subject of bisexuality. The most immediate result was a fantasy that for the first time actually involved sex without a man being present. Cathy's experience with massage therapy led Cynthia to picture a more erotic scenario, one which she hesitantly recorded for Dr. Butler. 

I am given a gift certificate for a massage in my home from a friend. The friend says that the massage is extremely relaxing, and I'm looking forward to it very much. The masseuse arrives and has me undress and lie, face down, on an exercise mat I have. She kneels beside me and starts at my neck and shoulders, kneading the muscles while rubbing a perfumed creamy lotion into my skin. It feels wonderful. She works her way down my back until she reaches my hips and she begins rubbing in a circular motion over them, spreading the lotion. She has one hand on each cheek, pushing and kneading hard as she goes downward, pulling lightly as she comes back up. On the upward move, her fingers slip into the crease between them as she works, the tips moving along the division and I am very conscious of what she is touching. 

When she is finished the kneading, she lightly smooth's the lotion over my entire bottom again, her fingers circling over my skin and sliding slowly between the cheeks. As her fingertips run over the opening, a funny thrill goes through me. I jump slightly at the contact, but make no comment. She repeats the circling several times, drawing the fingers through each time, pausing and tickling lightly as she does so. I am shocked and don't know what to do, but it feels very good! I am suddenly very aware of lying naked while another woman touches me.  

Before she has been an impersonal masseuse, but now she is a woman. She moves to my thighs, pulling my legs apart to get to the inner thigh area, and I am very conscious of being exposed. As she does the upper thigh, her fingers continually brush the pubic hair between my legs. There is nothing blatant, but I feel another thrill go through me. I know that I am becoming very moist and I hope she doesn't notice. She works her way down my legs and feet, and tells me to turn over. I have a weird mixture of fear and anticipation as I do so. 

I'm lying on my back, completely naked. My eyes are closed, but I know that she is looking at me and I find it strangely exciting. She asks me if the massage feels good so far and if everything is all right. She emphasizes the "everything," and I know exactly what she is referring to. I feel myself blushing furiously, and, with a tremor in my voice, stammer out that everything is fine. I open my eyes briefly and see that she is looking at me and smiling, knowing what I am thinking. Taking more of the flagrant lotion on her palms, she spreads it over my breasts, gently squeezing and fondling them as she does so. Her hands circle both breasts, cupping and caressing them lightly in a very soft massage

Finally, her hands leave my breasts and slide down over my rib cage to my stomach, continuing to smooth the lotion over my skin. She reaches my pubic hair and her fingers ruffle through it and run down to my thighs. She massages the thighs, digging deeply into them as she massages the muscles. As the muscles relax, she separates my legs and works on the inner thighs, moving closer and closer to my vagina – no, my cunt! 

Her fingers brush the hair, lightly tickling it, sending tremors of excitement through me. I'm past any thought of protest as she begins to stroke up and down, barely touching the lips, teasing me with the light caressing. Involuntarily I spread my legs further apart, opening myself completely to her fondling. Recognizing my acquiescence, she becomes more assertive, continuing the stroking and tickling of my cunt lips with one hand while concentrating on my clitoris with the other. Unbelievable waves of pleasure and excitement flow through me. 

As her fingers move within the lips, I know that I have never been so wet. The fingers, slippery with my lubrication, not the lotion, stroke from my clit all the way back to my bottom. I draw my knees up, placing my feet on the mat, and my hips undulate up and down as I become more and more aroused. She continues stroking, her fingers alternating entering my bottom and my cunt, going faster and faster, matching my increasing excitement. 

I'm panting and moaning in pleasure, my hips jerking frantically as I approach orgasm. I stay arched up against her hand for a long moment before slumping back onto the mat, sated and exhausted. I am dazed and can only whisper "that was wonderful" as she pulls back. I am totally relaxed and go easily from being dazed to being asleep. I wake up alone, long afterwards, and find myself still on the mat, covered by a sheet. I find a note hoping that I enjoyed the massage and giving her phone number to call if I want another session. I'm sure I will! 

Even more than the first fantasy, Cynthia was embarrassed to think that her mind would produce such a lurid scenario and the thought of letting someone else read it was mortifying. Nonetheless, when she entered Dr. Butler's office several days later, she had both stories with her. Sitting in the office while the therapist's eyes scanned the pages, she felt herself blushing like a schoolgirl, wanting to jump up and leave. Still, when Dr. Butler looked up, smiling, she leaned forward in anticipation, again like a schoolgirl waiting for the teacher's evaluation. 

"Well, you certainly did go forward in picturing erotic activities! I'm quite impressed by the development. You have integrated your friend into the sexual in the first fantasy and, for the first time, had a sexual contact with another woman alone in the second. I notice, however, that while they do things to you, you remain passive and don't participate actively." 

"I know. I just haven't been able to picture myself doing anything! I've tried to see myself reaching out and touching either the man or woman. In my fantasies, I just seem to be aroused by having the others taking the initiative. I think that if I were actually involved with someone that I would enjoy responding and taking a more active role. At least, I'm sure that I'd want to – if I had the nerve!" 

Actually, since you've never done anything of this type, you've advanced quite a bit, and I'm sure that the exhilaration of the moment would overcome your natural shyness. Even thinking about these things is new for you." 

"I just hope I get a chance to find out. One thing for sure, though, I have a far more open mind about being bisexual than I did last week." 

"Well, that's certainly good to hear! Was it just thinking about our discussion or did something else make it seem more acceptable?" 

"I certainly did think about what you said! In fact, except when I was too busy to think of anything but school problems, I thought of nothing but that! The thing that really made a bisexual relationship more....I guess, real. ...was a talk I had with a close friend. She told me about a relationship that she had with another woman, and she just made it seem so natural and enjoyable. She even used the same words you did, saying that the experience was very pleasant and satisfying, warm and intimate. She said that it was relaxing and comfortable, not as intense as with men, just comfortable. She made it sound very attractive!" 

"Now, first, when I said that you should think deeply about the situation, I didn't mean that you should become obsessed by it! Still, your reaction certainly shows that you are still seriously concerned about your sexual dilemma and that a way out of your predicament needs to be found. Second, your friend is extremely perceptive and probably helped you a great deal. Regardless of the opinions held by many in the gay community, heterosexual intercourse is clearly the normal way to sexual satisfaction. However, that relationship can create a situation that is uncomfortable because of male-female psychology. 

"In that kind of intercourse, the male, of course, penetrates the female, usually in the classical 'missionary' position in which the man 'mounts' the woman. The two parties are equally important to completing the sex act, a true symbiotic relationship, but it isn't seen that way in our society – or in many others, for that matter. Think of how we describe the event: the man 'takes' the woman, 'has' her, 'uses' her, or, in the biblical sense, 'knows' her. More graphically, he 'screws' her or, even 'fucks' her. When in the act, the man usually is in the superior position, the woman underneath in the subordinate position. Afterwards, his success buoys his ego while he frequently feels protective toward the woman. The woman commonly welcomes that attitude and enjoys the feeling of being the soft, vulnerable junior member in the relationship, reaping the rewards of being held close, protected and valued. 

"Of course, these attitudes are subtle, normally not even consciously held, and this equal-unequal relationship has served human society well for many centuries, but sexual tension is inevitable because of different expectations. The man satisfies his needs and intercourse ends, while the woman is not equally satisfied. Men often are ready for some other activity immediately, sleeping, perhaps, while the woman wants that post-coital togetherness – and, even more important, she wants him to want it! It's not that men are inherently selfish; it's just that for them the real pleasure is the sex act itself. For women, the act is important, but the non-sexual element, the closeness, is at least as significant. Since the man is in the superior position, his expectations usually are the ones that are met, causing resentment and, as in your case, a realization that something is missing in the relationship. 

"Regardless of these problems, intercourse with a man is unquestionably the most satisfying, stimulating sex for a non-lesbian woman, but, the tension, coming from these different expectations and desires, certainly prevents the use of the term 'comfortable' to describe the relationship. Intense, exciting, fulfilling, yes, but 'comfortable,' no! I'm generalizing, of course, and many marital relationships are very comfortable, usually after years of accommodation and mutual give and take, but, if that is not the case, the woman is usually the loser and her natural and inevitable resentment can poison the entire relationship. That is when an outside relationship, even adultery on her part, may well be the best thing for both the husband and wife and their marriage. Of course, another alternative is female-female sex which your friend did call comfortable.... pleasant and comfortable! 

"The difference lies in the psychological differences between male-female and female-female sex. When two women have sex, they are equals in fact, not only in theory. Oh, of course, lesbians have their 'doms' and 'fems,' but two 'straight' women having sex tend to be very careful not to dominate and to be sure that each gets pleasure from the relationship. In fact, I have been told by many women that they get almost as much pleasure from arousing the other woman by fondling or, even, performing cunnilingus on her, as from being worked on herself. Mutual pleasure is the goal, and the result is a tension-free, very pleasant experience, an experience that really has no downside. 

"Actually, that is why I suggest it as a possible alternative to other extramarital relationships when the underlying sexual problem is the type you have. When there are no sexual relations in the marriage but divorce is not an option, a discreet extramarital affair with another man is probably the best choice. If the problem is impotence, that certainly is the only option unless the woman is willing to give up normal sex. In your case, where sexual intercourse is still part of the relationship but closeness is missing, a bisexual liaison may serve to provide the missing element in your life. Still, it can't bring the same intensity or romance as a regular affair." 

"Well, right now I would welcome an affair if I could have a relationship with a man I was attracted to. My friend was lucky that way and had such an affair with a married man for years, both enjoying it with no damage to either marriage. Unfortunately, I don't think that I am that lucky! If a threesome like I had in my fantasies could develop, I would be delighted! Right now, a bisexual affair sounds wonderful! In other words, I'm ready for almost any outside sexual experience, but I just don't know how to approach it, much less actually doing something! Even in my fantasies I'm inhibited and just let people do things to me! Damn, I...I wish I could find someone who would do those things and, maybe, I could get up the nerve to do things back, but, I just don't I know how to start!" As she stammered out these comments, Cynthia was on the verge of tears in frustration. 

Dr. Butler's face was filled with sympathy as she replied, "Believe me, I understand your difficulties and I wish that I could offer concrete help. However, I am a sex therapist, not a matchmaker, and my function is evaluate your situation and to help you understand both the problem and yourself. Actually, the understanding of yourself and your needs is the most important element of the whole process, and I think that you have progressed tremendously since we started. Still, I can certainly understand why you are frustrated and depressed. Unfortunately, all I can do is offer some advice based on what I've learned through training and many years of experience. 

"Now, it is very clear that you really need some kind of extramarital sexual relief. The feeling you have about your relationship with your husband will continue to antagonize you, a constant irritant that gets worse as you dwell on it. It's like a grain of sand in your shoe. A minor annoyance builds up until you can't walk, a pain out of all proportion to the size of that irritant. Understand, I am not saying that your husband's rejection is insignificant, just that it will build up in your mind until it overshadows everything else unless you find what you are missing somewhere else. The problem, of course, is how to find it. 

"I think it is time for an evaluation of your entire situation. First, you are a quite attractive woman, pretty features, good figure, petite – all things that appeal to men and would virtually assure that discreet propositions would come your way. Yet, you say that it just hasn't happened. Now, you have been married for years, long enough to have three grown children. I have to assume that raising three children, along with a teaching career, left little time for anything else, not even fantasies of outside romantic activities. For years, men have been friends, colleagues, subordinates, superiors, not potential lovers, so your relations with them was actually asexual. Undoubtedly, these men have come to see you as unavailable and uninterested. Add to that, you have risen to a significant position, one in which you hire and fire, discipline students, make difficult decisions, and so on, and a man would think several times before even making a tentative pass. 

"So, to overcome this handicap, you must make yourself approachable. When in a situation where something might happen, doesn't dress, think or act like an administrator. Most particular, don't act like a morally or psychologically limited married woman! If you really want something to happen, you have to be available. If a man attracts you, play up to him. Smile at him, talk to him, show your interest, let him know by your attention that you find him attractive. Nothing appeals more to a man than having an attractive woman think that he is attractive. Then, if he does respond with an appealing proposition, don't be shy or hesitant! Don't be afraid to let him know that you are interested! 

"The same logic applies if you have a chance to be in a threesome. Frankly, a threesome would be safer and, most likely, at least as satisfying. Unfortunately, opportunities may be even rarer than developing an affair with a man, because it would almost have to be with a couple who are your friends. If the chance should come, however, making yourself available is crucial. There is any number of ways to show interest: modeling a new nightgown if you're staying overnight with them, talking about buying some sexy lingerie and, if they cooperate, letting them talk you into modeling it. Using a swimming pool, as in your fantasy, probably gives the best chance since you already are informally dressed and in a situation where physical contact is expected and where the 'accidental' exposure of, for example, a breast would not be surprising. The important thing is to watch for clues that the others are interested and certainly to do nothing that would discourage them. If they mention nude nighttime swimming, don't equivoque, saying, instead, 'Oh, that would be fun!' The same thing if they have a hot tub and don't wear suits – seem eager to go in, not hesitant and afraid! If they offer the option of wearing suits, don't! In other words, be available and, as with a man, don't be afraid to let them know that you are! 

"Finally, sex with another woman. I'm not sure just how to advise you here, because, unlike the other situations, you probably would have to take the initiative. Having the nerve to propose something, to run the risk of rejection – problems men face all the time – makes it very hard. Perhaps you could offer to massage a sore muscle in a leg or arm and, if there is a positive response, move on as the masseuse did in your fantasy. Or, of course, putting sun screen on someone, helping her dress or undress if she has difficulties. Just being casually nude might engender interest. You said that you attend those retreats and conferences with a female friend. That might provide the appropriate intimate setting to discuss sex, particularly bisexual activity, and maybe lead to experimentation. 




Cynthia's Affair Ch. 03



"If the atmosphere were right, and you both were a bit aroused by the discussion, you might even simply ask if she would like to try it just to see what it was like. Or, remember that your marital problem is far from unique, and if a friend has similar difficulties, consoling each other could lead to a very pleasant relationship. Describing your problem to a happily married friend might well lead her to take the lead in commiserating with and consoling you sexually. As I said before, most women are inherently bisexual, and good, close friends are just a very short step from a sexually intimate relationship." 

During this long speech, Cynthia listens attentively, nodding occasionally, but saying nothing. Finally she says, "Well, I certainly intend to try. I don't know if I can bring myself to do anything overt, but I will concentrate on being approachable. There's a state-wide meeting of school administrators next month after classes end, and I intend to really try.



Cynthia's Affair Ch. 04



As Cynthia left the therapist's office, she was determined and optimistic. She had said little in that last meeting, only listening and absorbing what was obviously good advice. She was resolved to be more aggressive, make herself approachable and, if the opportunity arose, to carry through. The sessions with Dr. Butler and the intensive introspection of the last few months had cleared her mind and let her see what she really wanted. The genesis, of course, had been David's thoughtless and humiliating behavior, leading her to consider an affair in retaliation.

Now, however, she realized that she wanted extramarital relations for the experience, for her own needs and personal desires. She still wanted, badly, to have the romantic closeness that she was not getting at home, the lack of which had started all of this, but she now was more aware of other potential sexual pleasures. Adultery and bisexuality, or their combination in a threesome, which would have been an anathema two years ago, now were tantalizingly attractive and not even particularly sinful. Certainly, the first of these was no longer taboo, and, as she prepared for the state-wide administrator's meeting, it was not school business that occupied her mind.

It was an all-day conference on Saturday, with an evening dinner and social session Friday, and, while she normally went to those things with another woman, this time she deliberately planned to go alone. Looking over her clothes, she realized that virtually everything she could pack shouted "high school principal," conservative and safe. Her underwear was serviceable, covering her very adequately, and was quite suitable for that "high school principal" outerwear. A quick trip to the local mall produced a much lighter, semi-frivolous dress for Friday night, unlike anything she had worn in years. A visit to Victoria's Secret resulted in a selection of lingerie that she normally would have considered to be scandalous, but now suited her desires exactly! These, along with a brief and completely sheer nightgown, the same one that had failed to tempt David, prepared her for what she hoped (and, a bit, feared) would be a memorable night. Unfortunately, the night was memorable only for disappointment.

She dressed for the evening with great care and with trepidation. She stood in front of the mirror, wearing a sheer, lace bra and panty set, coupled with a matching garter belt (instead of her usual pantyhose) holding up long, dark stockings. She was startled at just how sexy she looked, hardly like a mature married woman with three college-age children. When

she put on her dress she, unfortunately, but inevitably, was not as sexy, but she was still a very appealing woman. When she went down to the reception, she unquestionably was the most attractive woman there and admiring glances followed her into the room. Women she knew complimented her fulsomely on her dress and her appearance, with just the right amount of envy (or jealousy) in their voices.

Male reaction, however, was peculiar, basically dividing into two types of behavior.

Some acquaintances made a pro forma compliment on how nice she looked and, then, that out of the way, treated her as just another colleague, talking about school budgets, discipline problems, etc., soliciting her opinions and recommendations. Feminists would have been delighted, but, right then, Cynthia did not want to be seen as "one of the boys!"

Other men she knew just didn't seem to know how to deal with her. She was a high school administrator with a good reputation of handling difficult situations, a woman who most definitely was not a shrinking violet when dealing with administrative heavy-handedness. She handled herself well in the rough and tumble battle for limited resources. Yet, here she was, pretty, even delicate, dressed in a light, flowery, very feminine dress! They just didn't know how to relate to such contradictory views of the same woman, so their reaction was to back off and, in effect, ignore the paradox.

So, between those who, for practical purposes, dismissed the differences as unimportant and went on with "business as usual," and those who couldn't deal with it and turned away, Cynthia was left frustrated. There was no magic contact, no eyes across the room, no proposition ...... no anything! After the dinner and meeting, she went back to her room, removed the pretty dress, removed the sexy underwear, put on a mundane sleeping-type nightgown, and went to bed, alone.

Describing the disappointing occasion with Cathy later, she had to admit that she had been both disappointed and relieved. If someone had been overcome by her new sexy allure and swept her off of her feet, she would have loved it! Being undressed, her Victoria's Secret revealed, and carried off to bed for a night of erotic sex play, would have been perfect! However, she had to admit that no one there that evening raised her blood pressure or caused her juices to flow. "I honestly don't know what would have done if someone had suggested something! I really want something to happen, but, I guess, I want something more than just having sex....heaven knows. I do want that, but I just couldn't see being that close to anyone who was there! It was fun, though, being dressed like that, thinking how they would react if they had been able to see under my clothes. Boy, would they have been surprised at what I had worn underneath! It was funny enough to see how a lot of them reacted to seeing me 'out of uniform,' anyway!"

"You'll have to show me that underwear sometime -- it must really be something! As far as the people at the meeting are concerned, I'm not surprised at their reaction. School administrators are not the most 'with it' people in the world! Still, it's too bad that things didn't work out. Unfortunately, I doubt that you will be satisfied to have a one-night 'fling' with someone you really don't know. What you want is a relationship, and I don't think you can get that at a conference unless you just are with someone you know and something spontaneously develops. A friend with whom you can have sex, like with Don Anderson and me, is perfect. Just pleasant, intimate fun with no hang-ups, but there is no way that you can arrange that. On the other hand, I think that you could enjoy the physical excitement of having sex with a virtual stranger if a spark did fly between you. Maybe you'll have better luck when we're at the NEA convention this fall."

"Maybe, but I'm pretty discouraged. You know, it's been almost two years since all this started. I was worried then about what was going to happen when all the kids were gone, and that time is now! Joanie [her daughter] was a high school sophomore then and she will be a college freshman this fall. Two years of thinking, counseling and, for months now, therapy, and I haven't done anything! All I've done is find out that I really want...no need...something, and, damn it, I can't get it! In books and movies two people meet and fifteen minutes later they are in bed! I know that real life and fiction are two different things, but having some kind of extramarital experience shouldn't be this difficult!

"In any case, I'm going to try something else. You know how David and I spent a few days with Julia and George Simpson in North Carolina three years ago. They invited us to come down again, and we're planning to go there in July and I'm going to see if anything can develop. I've always been close to both of them, and, while I don't know if a threesome is possible, as Dr. Butler instructed, I'm going to make myself available. I was thinking of them in that threesome fantasy I showed you, and I'm going to see if anything can actually happen. I still don't know about doing anything with her, but I've always thought that he was attractive. We'll see!"

So, the third week in July, Cynthia and David drove to North Carolina, arriving late afternoon. Things worked out as in her fantasy at first. They talked, had dinner and, around 10:00 pm, David was exhausted and went to bed. Things continued well, with a late swim proposed by Julia followed by Cynthia's hesitation about not having gotten her suit out yet. Things immediately went sour, with Julia, rather than proposing a nude swim, simply said, "Oh, that's no problem! You can wear one of mine, we're almost the same size."

Unfortunately, Julia was right and her suit fit well enough. It was very snug over Cynthia's considerably larger breasts, making it impossible for it to "accidentally" fall down, eliminating that ploy. (Interestingly, when she had fantasied about a threesome, the other woman had larger breasts.) Once again, hopes for an erotic idyll evaporated, and after a quiet, refreshing, but frustrating, swim, they all went to bed. For the next three days, they had an enjoyable visit, marred only, for Cynthia, by the sense that another possible opportunity was passing by.

On their last day there they had been in the pool for some time, Cynthia lying on a large float while the others swam around. She really had hoped that something would happen during their visit, but all she could see now was a long trip home feeling even more depressed than she had before. Finally, her frustration boiled over, and she decided to do something herself! David and Julia were by the steps, some distance away, and, taking the opportunity, she reached behind her neck and undid the tie holding her suit up. Making sure that her back was turned toward the others, she pulled the suit down almost to her waist and then stretched the front up just enough to drape over her breasts. Calling to George, she asked him to help her oft of the float, something she usually did. Now, George always had been interested in her breasts, which are much bigger than Julia's small A-cup, and when he lifted her up or helped her off, he almost always managed to "accidentally" touch them briefly. The touch was never overt or long lasting, something that she had to notice and react to, just an incidental part of helping.

This time, however, things were different. Cynthia raised up and he put his hands at her waist to help her off, but, as he did so, the suit top slipped down and both breasts popped out. He was so startled at the exposure that he just held her there, staring at the turgid, pink nipples projecting toward him. Cynthia broke the trance by leaning forward and sliding off of the float, and, as she did so, his hands slid from her waist onto the breasts under the water. At first his touch was tentative, but, when she didn't immediately pull away and cover herself, George took advantage of her acquiescence and cupped and fondled both breasts. The entire episode didn't last more than a minute, if that, ending when Cynthia leaned back, giving him one, last look, and, then, reluctantly pulled the suit back up. Nothing was said the entire time, and no reference was made to it later, but the mutual enjoyment was obvious in the smiles they gave each other as they left the pool.

There was, however, one more, relatively minor, sexual contact between them. When they dressed to prepare to leave the following morning, Cynthia put on a light, summer blouse without a bra. When standing by the car, exchanging the traditional goodbye kiss, George was able to feel her breast with only the thin fabric in the way. It was a very pleasing way of saying goodbye!

As she recounted the story to Cathy later, she admitted that she had been shocked at her own behavior. "I've never done anything like that in my life before! I still can't believe that I not only took the initiative, which I certainly have never done, but that I actually deliberately exposed my breasts and let him feel them. That's the first time anyone, other than David, has touched my bare breasts since we were married! But, boy did I enjoy it! Something else, too. After that I know for certain that I do want to do more. I still am not sure about a threesome or if I'd want sex with both George and Julia, but I am sure that I'd let him screw me if I had the chance! I thought... no, I was almost sure... that I would enjoy extramarital sex, but now I know it! You and Dr. Butler are the only people I could admit that to, but it's the truth."

"Well, I'm certainly glad that something worked out for you down there. That really did take a lot of nerve! It's good that your mind is clearer on things, but I'm afraid that the real problems still exist. Wouldn't you know that your first possible prospect is way down in North Carolina!"

Cynthia giggled, almost like a teenager, saying, "I don't know about that! Julia has been trying for years to get George to come north and visit us, but he just doesn't like to travel. But, just before we left, he said that since the kids are in college and we have so much room now, they might think about coming up in the spring! I wonder what changed his mind!" Then, more seriously, "I know what you mean, though. There certainly are no prospects around here, so I guess I'll just hope something does develop at the NEA meeting in Chicago. I do feel better about things, though."

The rest of the summer passed rapidly, as usual, with getting a daughter ready to enter college, combined with her normal administrative duties, keeping Cynthia well occupied. Finally, however, with Joanie off to freshman orientation, she had to endure "empty nest" pangs in a house that suddenly seemed too large. Worse, her fears about her relationship with David were realized. There were no overt marital problems, just a feeling of living with a close relative, not a husband. The wall of indifference that had sprung up two years ago persisted and Cynthia admitted to herself that she felt no real urge to tear it down. The exhilaration coming from the brief sexual encounter with George had worn off, but remembering the excitement of that relatively minor infidelity made life with her husband seem blander than ever. Thus, when she and Cathy took off for the annual NEA convention -- four nights in Chicago -- she was more than ready for a new adventure. Cathy was also eager, for Don Anderson had called saying that he would be there Saturday, the last night, and would take her out to dinner. So, both women had something to look forward to.

They arrived in Chicago, registered at the NEA table and went sight-seeing before attending the evening banquet and "get-together" reception. The following day they attended workshops that interested them, met a number of people they knew and, then, just mingled. Unfortunately, while Cynthia, surprisingly, found several of the meetings to be of value, she met no one that interested her personally. It appeared that this conference would be like the last one, professionally useful but not what she had hoped for otherwise. That night she was quite depressed, feeling old and unattractive, doomed to a dull, boring, uneventful life, and nothing Cathy could say would console her.

However, on Friday morning her luck seemed to have changed for the better. Attending a 9:00 AM session on teacher evaluation, Cynthia saw an attractive older man (probably about her own age, she 'thought ruefully) who looked familiar, sitting alone. Taking the seat beside him and introducing herself, she discovered that his name was James Cooper, D.Ed., and they realized that they had taken several graduate courses together years ago. After the session was over at l 1:00, they sat there talking about teaching problems, measuring teacher performance, etc., finally realizing that almost an hour had passed and that it was nearly noon. He invited her to lunch, and they continued talking, leaving the professional conversation and turning to more personal history. He was married, had two children about the same ages as her sons, and was an instructor at a small teacher's college -- in a town no more than 25 miles from Cynthia's school! Ironically, they had flown all the way to Chicago to run into each other when their schools were no more than 40 minutes apart! They talked about all the things they had done, places they had been and, suddenly, to her profound shock, Cynthia realized that while the elusive spark had not flashed between them across the room, it had done so across the table!

She was very attracted to him and, obviously, her feeling was reciprocated. They each had meetings at 1:00 pm, so they had to separate, but preparing to part, he said that he was conducting a session that evening and that it would be through by 11:00 and asked if she would be free later for a drink. Without thinking, Cynthia immediately replied, "Oh, I'll be free all night," Then suddenly realizing what she had said, quickly continued, "Oops, I didn't mean that quite the way it came out!" He just laughed and they made arrangements to meet after the session. As he started to leave, however, Cynthia nerved herself and, following Dr. Butler's advice on being more aggressive, called him back and said, softly, looking down shyly, "I really did mean what I said about being free all night."

Jim just reached out and lightly squeezed her arm, saying, "I really hoped you did!"

Cynthia went through the motions of attending another workshop before hurrying upstairs, eager to tell Cathy her news. Cathy was almost as excited as Cynthia, complimenting her on her boldness and encouraging her to be equally as brave later. After a quick dinner, Cynthia showered and began to dress for what promised to be a very erotic night ahead. Cathy watched as she donned that extremely revealing, extremely sexy lingerie purchased for just such an occasion. As Cynthia pulled up the long, sheer dark hose and fastened them to the supporters of the matching garter belt, Cathy said, "Honey, in that outfit you would tum anyone on, man or woman! Dr. James Cooper is going to be very happy!" That, of course, was exactly what Cynthia needed to hear, and, putting on a short, full evening dress, she went to meet her fate.

Cathy, anticipating a night alone in their room, undressed and got into bed, novel in hand to read herself to sleep -- if she could keep her mind on the book rather than on lewd thoughts involving Cynthia. However, her plans for a restful evening were rudely interrupted fifteen minutes later. The door was flung open and Cynthia was back in the room, her eyes brimming with tears of utter frustration. Shocked at her reappearance, Cathy sat up, her face filled with concern as she asked, "What happened, honey? What's wrong?"

"Everything's wrong, damn it! I got to the meeting room and it was completely empty and dark. A bell hop came up and asked me if I was Mrs. Anders and gave me this note from Jim." She handed Cathy a slip of paper with a short note that read:

Cynthia, I just got a call from home saying that my son has been in a car accident. I have canceled my session and I'm leaving right away. They don't think it's serious, but they're not sure. I called your room, but you probably were at dinner. If I can, I'll call you tomorrow or, if not, I'll write to your school. I can't tell you how disappointed I am. Jim

"I just can't believe this. I finally get exactly what I want and it all falls apart just like that!" Her face was the picture of disappointment, and she paced around the room, totally out of character with her usual calm demeanor. It was a good half hour before she finally slumped down in a chair, depressed and forlorn. Cathy tried to reassure her, pointing out that Jim clearly was very interested and her assignation was just postponed, not ended. Her comments finally seemed to have effect and suddenly, with a determined look replacing the disappointment on her face, Cynthia stood up and stripped off her evening dress. Standing there in her panties, bra, garter belt and hose, posing gracefully, she asked, "Do I look good like this? Did you really mean that I that I would turn anyone on, man or woman dressed like this?"




Cynthia's Affair Ch. 04



Cathy stared at her briefly, and replied, "Cynthia, you are lovely, and anyone not affected by you looking like that is just not interested in sex!"

"Wait a minute, then!" Quickly reaching into a bureau drawer, she withdrew something and hurried into the bathroom. A very short time later, she reappeared, dressed in a sheer, black shortie nightgown, through which every of her body could be seen. "This is the nightgown I wore when I tried to get David to celebrate our anniversary two years ago. I haven't worn it since. I've saved it to wear with someone else since it didn't affect him! Do you like it?"

"Honey, if that didn't turn him on, you should look for sex elsewhere!"

"That's what I thought." Then, ratcheting up her nerve more than she would have thought possible, she asked, very hesitantly, "Cathy, would you....would you mind... if I got in bed with you for a while?"

Without saying a word or hesitating for a second, Cathy pulled back the covers and spread her arms in welcome. They embraced each other, hugging tightly, lost in their affection for each other. They began kissing, harder and harder as Cynthia, overcome by relief and excitement, thought of how much her mentor and dear friend meant to her. Actually, there was very little thinking going on, just reaction to the surge of passion that flowed through both of them. As they kissed, their hands roamed, fondling each other's breasts and sliding downwards. Breaking off the kiss, they stripped off their nightgowns and started caressing each other's nude body in a frenzy of sexual fervor. Cathy, taking the lead, began kissing Cynthia's breast while reaching between her legs to stroke and finger her cunt.

As Cynthia's excitement mounted, Cathy lightly sucked her nipples and began kissing downward on her body, across her stomach to the pubic hair. Getting up, she moved to the bottom of the bed and slid between Cynthia's widely spread legs, kissing along the thighs until she reached the crotch. Applying a quick kiss to the clit, she began lightly flicking her tongue over the clit and licking along and between the lips. Her fingers were still at work, tracing a path all the way back to the crease between her hips, stroking and probing. Cynthia's hips began rising and falling as she was overcome by the erotic sensations coupled with the realization that it was another woman down there. As the climax approached, Cathy concentrated on the clit, licking and sucking, while her fingers moved more and more rapidly around and in and out of the cunt. Finally, Cynthia surged upwards against Cathy's mouth and fingers, held rigid for a second, and collapsed back, sated momentarily.

As the tremors subsided, Cynthia had a moment of lucidity, thinking to herself that, in her entire life until now, she had never touched another woman intimately, and, until at least the last two months, had never even thought, at least consciously, of having sex with one. Now, here she was, lying naked with another woman who had just used her fingers and tongue to give her a very satisfying orgasm -- and that she, herself, was about to reciprocate! Unbelievable! That clear thinking, however, in no way deterred her from action, and, without hesitation, she worked her way down Cathy's body, caressing and fondling until she was kneeling between her widespread thighs. Within a very short time, for the first time in her life, Cynthia performed cunnilingus, finding, to her own surprise, that she really enjoyed it!

She was not surprised that it was pleasurable to titillate Cathy, to feel her excitement grow as result of Cynthia's licking and fingering, but she had not expected to enjoy the act, itself. She didn't know just what she did expect, but she found it to be warm, extraordinarily intimate, and, of course, delightfully perverse. When Cathy's climax finally was reached and her tremors died down, Cynthia moved back up and the two of them lay pleasantly relaxed beside each other, feeling a closeness, a bonding that can come only between friends who have gone beyond the bounds of regular friendship. The word pleasant continued to be applicable, and as Cathy and Dr. Butler had said, the whole experience had been very, very, pleasant! Warm, affectionate, intimate....and pleasant!

They lay there for some time, talking softly, reluctant to break the spell, very comfortable with each other. Ultimately, of course, mundane things (i.e. the need to go to the bathroom) intervened and they returned to their usual pre-bed routine. Still, without consultation, they returned to the same bed to sleep, rather than separating. Before going to sleep, Cathy said, softly, "That was wonderful, honey! Do you feel better?"

Cynthia's reply was emphatic, "It was wonderful! And, I feel much I'm even glad that Jim couldn't stay! And I'm glad that I wore the black nightgown tonight!"

The following morning when she awoke, Cynthia was momentarily startled (as Cathy had been her first time) to find herself naked in bed with another naked woman, but the pleasures of the previous night instantaneously flooded through her mind. Suddenly she had a sense of euphoria, a feeling of lightness that she realized represented the lilting of the low-grade depression that had hovered in the back of her mind for many months. She honestly hadn't realized until then just how omnipresent that dark cloud had been or how bright things looked without it. Just having sex with another person, even if it was with another woman (or, possibly, because of it), had given her the feeling of closeness and intimacy she couldn't get at home. She was not so sanguine as to believe that her problem was solved or that the depression wouldn't return, but it was a start!

In any case, the two women got up and, matter-of-factly, prepared to go out, treating their previous night's experience as if they did it all the time. They were just comfortable with other! They spent the morning shopping, followed by lunch, after which they split up, Cynthia going to another session while Cathy went to meet Don Anderson. When Cynthia returned to the room, she found Cathy resting before dinner and asked, with a smile, "Well, how was your afternoon?"

Cathy returned the smile, replying, "Very enjoyable! The evening's going to be fun, too. I told him all about you, and he's going to take both of us out to dinner tonight! He remembered you very well, and is really looking forward to seeing you. He's coming here at 6:00, so you have plenty of time to get ready. Why don't you wear the clothes you had on last night? You looked lovely and very sexy!"

"That does sound like fun, but don't you want to be alone with Don?"

"Good heavens, honey, we were alone all afternoon! I really would like to have you along, particularly if you will dress exactly as you did last night!"

That settled, they began to get ready, with Cynthia laying out the underwear and dress that Cathy wanted. Suddenly, she had an idea. "Look, Cathy, I have two more sets of Victoria's Secret lingerie with me! We're about the same size. Why don't you see if you'd like to wear one of them? I even have spare stockings!"

With Cynthia's encouragement, Cathy selected one of the outfits, and, shortly, they both were wearing very sexy bras and panties with garter belts and hose under their best dresses. As Cathy said, "I haven't worn stockings in years, but they certainly are more attractive than pantyhose."

So, "dressed to kill," they were ready for dinner. Just before Don arrived, however, Cynthia received a phone call from Jim, saying that, fortunately, the accident turned out not to be serious. He then made it very clear that he wanted to see her again and that his interest was not platonic! Obviously, the spark that Cynthia had felt was mutual, and their goodbyes were considerably more affectionate than the time together would seem to have merited. Needless to say, Cynthia was "floating" as they left the room.

Cynthia found Don to be very charming in a non-professional setting, dinner was delicious and the three of them were delightful company for each other. Don commented several times about how attractive Cynthia looked in her glamorous evening dress, making her feel very good. After eating, they strolled through the up-scale mall attached to the hotel before going to their room where they ordered a nightcap sent up. They sat and drank for a while, the conversation was wide ranging, becoming more intimate, very companionable, ending, somehow, in a discussion of lingerie. Almost as if it were planned (and it was, Cathy revealed to Cynthia later) Cathy said, "Boy, if you are talking about sexy underwear, you should see what Cynthia has on! Come on, honey, take off your dress and show Don what you're wearing!"

Cynthia looked at her in utter amazement, not believing that Cathy would suggest such a thing. What really shocked her, however, was the realization that she wanted to undress for them! The lovely evening, and several drinks, had mellowed her. The continual series of compliments had flattered her -- and, she was very aware of how sexy her underwear was. She had commented to Cathy how she wished she could show it off, and Cathy was offering her a chance to do so. Still, the idea of deliberately undressing in front of a man startled and frightened her.

Hesitantly, she reached for the fasteners of her dress, but stopped, saying, "Oh I can't do it!" Then, "Wait, Cathy, you're wearing the same type of underwear! You take your dress off too!" Needless to say, Cathy had no objection, and several minutes later, two semi-nude women stood before Don, every detail of their bodies revealed through their sheer bras and panties. His reaction was just what any woman would want in a similar situation -- profuse admiration and obvious arousal!

Cynthia could never quite reconstruct the steps involved after that, but somehow she found herself on the bed, completely nude, with Cathy on one side and Don on the other, both also nude. She felt their hands roaming over her body, caressing and fondling her breasts, stroking and probing her cunt. As in her fantasy, with her eyes shut, she couldn't tell whose hands were where....and it didn't matter, it felt wonderful! They alternated kissing her lips and her nipples with Cathy finally working her way down and slipping between her legs. Cynthia was in a daze, just reacting to the stimulus, but she was aware enough to realize that Cathy was licking her cunt while a man watched!

Normally, if she could have conceived of such a thing happening, she would have been horrified, but, now, it just added fuel to the flame and her hips began flexing up and down in excitement. Suddenly, Cathy withdrew, leaving Cynthia hanging, but the emptiness between her legs was filled by Don who, lifting her legs up over his shoulders, plunged deeply into her well lubricated passage. In a lucid moment, as Cathy pulled away and Don prepared to enter, Cynthia thought, "My god, he's going to screw me....he's going to screw me!" The thought reverberated through her head as she was penetrated, and it was the last coherent thought she had as the sensations and emotions took over and she just reacted, surging upward to meet Don as he thrust in, pulling back as he withdrew.

Cathy lay beside them, fondling Cynthia's breasts with one hand while slipping the other between their bodies, feeling the slippery connection between cock and cunt. Remembering Cynthia's last threesome fantasy, she slid her hand backward along the slick crease until she found the anal opening and probed inward with the tip of her index finger. She moved the finger inward and outward, matching the rhythm of the screwing, slipping in deeper and deeper. The double penetration sent waves of ecstasy throughout Cynthia's body, and her motions became more frantic, less controlled as she approached climax. Don matched her fervor, thrusting in and out, more and more vigorously until, suddenly, in a series of spasmodic moves, he surged against her, ejaculating deep within.

These final, forceful penetrations put Cynthia over the top, and she, too, reached orgasm, twisting wildly with her pelvis, pushing upward with all her strength, having what she told them later was the greatest climax of her life. Later, while Don recovered his rigidity, it was Cathy's turn, and, without hesitation or embarrassment, Cynthia performed cunnilingus while Don watched -- and, perversely, she enjoyed having him there! Actually, she enjoyed and was aroused by everything that went on that night, both things done to her and by her! Her first threesome was a colossal success!

After Don left, the two women talked for a long time, Cathy admitting that she had described Cynthia's situation to Don that afternoon and proposed having a threesome with her. Remembering how attractive Cynthia had been when he knew her before, Don, of course, was enthusiastic about the idea. That, of course was why Cathy had insisted that Cynthia dress to way she had and why the conversation took the course it did! Considering the happy outcome, Cynthia hardly could complain and, in fact, sincerely thanked Cathy for everything. Lying there that night, before going to sleep, she considered the last few days. She arrives in Chicago with hope, but nothing seems likely to happen and she is depressed. Then, surprisingly, she meets a man who attracts her, makes plans that almost certainly would have led to going to bed with him. Exhilaration! The plans fall through and she's back to square one, extraordinarily depressed.

Suddenly, in a 24-hour period, everything changes. Unexpectedly, she has complete, very intimate sex with another woman, an experience by itself that would make the trip a success! Still on a high from that experience, she finds herself engaged in a threesome, having sex with that same woman and committing adultery with a man she hardly knew! Unbelievable! And, what should be surprising but somehow isn't, she has absolutely no sense of guilt about any of it!

She couldn't help but think about little things can change a person's entire life. If David had said something like, "Oh, that would be fun! Let's do it." when she had approached him two years ago, she undoubtedly would never even have thought of having an affair. A few affectionate words would have done it. Instead, coming to Chicago she was depressed, even a bit frightened, at the thought of maintaining a stable but relatively sterile marriage where even sexual intercourse was unfulfilling. Leaving Chicago, her depression was gone and the future looked bright.

Her married life probably wouldn't change much, continuing a reasonably happy relationship based on shared experiences, the children, etc. -- all the elements that integrate two lives over many years. She did want that relationship to continue, even if it was not completely satisfying. The missing element, that something that she had been seeking would still be missing in that relationship, but, now, she had other sources, other prospects. George and Julia, close friends, would be visiting and might become very close friends! Certainly the contact with Jim was exceedingly promising and there was reason to hope that their relationship might develop into a long-term affair like that of Cathy and Don!

Most important of all, however, was Cathy. While her intercourse with Don had confirmed her heterosexual preference for male-female sex, and she really wanted that with Jim, the female-female sex with Cathy had been even more satisfying, comfortable and, of course, pleasant than she would have thought possible. The continuing of that relationship would certainly provide the intimacy and closeness she had been missing. Cathy had even hinted that, if she wished, Eddie might become part of an occasional threesome, providing both kinds of sex!

So, for Cynthia, a future that had looked bleak and uninteresting suddenly was filled with intriguing activities and opportunities. Would she have been happier if David had been more considerate, more interested? Or, was she glad that fate had worked out as it did? Fortunately, she didn't have to answer those questions and, when her plane left Chicago, Cynthia was quite happy with the good fortune that now was hers.