9 comments/ 23552 views/ 6 favorites Brenda's Learns the Truth By: SJ35 "So Brenda," Jake said, standing very close to me. "Why don't we go someplace more private?" I felt myself reacting. Jake was charismatic, handsome and an athlete. In short, all the things I'd learned to be careful of when dealing with guys, but that knowledge didn't stop me from being attracted to him. Jake's blond hair and blue eyes didn't help either. "Go away," I snapped, refusing to close the book I was studying from. We were in the library and I had my first set of college exams this week. I needed to cram. I was in no mood for Jake, but that wouldn't stop him. "We can study together," he offered. "Jake," I sighed. "You don't study. You've never had to." "True," he smiled. "But that doesn't mean I can't help you." Did I mention he had a devastating smile? I knew full well what Jake was after and it would never happen, but I couldn't deny that part of me loved the attention. The problem was that I didn't have the time for our usual games. I really needed to study or my scholarship would disappear. "Come back to my dorm room with me?" he asked sexily, leaning closer. He presence was a bit overwhelming. I stood, but it didn't help much. I was trapped between the table and Jake. He was tall and broad. You would expect that with someone as big as Jake standing so close and me being trapped that I'd feel threatened, but that was only a small part of what I was feeling. My body was reacting in ways I refused to consider. It would be easy to fall for his charms. I knew a lot of girls who had. "Jake, you're in my personal space," I said, trying to slow my beating heart. "Yes, I know," he said. If possible his smile became even sexier as his lips started to move toward mine. For a moment I found myself wondering what a kiss from Jake would be like. My body tingled in sudden need. I shook my head and used both hands to push Jake back. He was all muscle and I wouldn't have been able to move him if he resisted, but he didn't, at least not fully. He took a single step back, but even that little bit helped and I sighed in relief. Jake tried to steal a kiss as soon as my body relaxed. I was able to turn my head just in time. His warm lips fell on my cheek instead of my lips. This time I pushed him harder. Jake finally backed away. "You try that again and I'll slap you!" I cried. "It would be worth it," he shrugged. I looked at him in annoyance and shook my head. I was getting angry and a part of me wanted to let him know exactly what I thought of him, but I had too much studying to do. "You are amazing," I sighed, and then knowing him added, "And I don't mean that as a complement." "You know you want me," he said, not joking in the least. "I can feel your body responding. Hell, I can see it!" I watched as he grinned and glanced down at my breasts. I blushed, this time feeling the control on my anger slip. What is it with guys and being crude? "Not if you were the last man on Earth!" I snapped. Maybe I couldn't control my body's reaction to Jake, but I could make it clear that it didn't matter. "Can't you come up with something more original?" he sighed. "I'm awfully tired of hearing you say that." "If you don't want to hear it, why not stop hitting on me?" I offered. I could tell from his expression that my words were pointless. "Jake, go away! You and I will never happen." "We've got four years to find out," he shrugged, clearly not giving up. "Oh what fun," I sighed loudly. Jake laughed and finally moved away. "Men!" a tall blond girl sitting at the next table said. She was smiling in an understanding way. I didn't know her and I wasn't the type to make new friends easily, but right at that moment it didn't matter. I needed to vent and she seemed willing to listen. "Jake is a jerk," I said. "He and I went to high school together. He dated Donna, one of my best friends. Donna swore she loved him, but it seemed obvious that Jake didn't feel the same way. He led her on and cheated on her constantly. I tried to tell Donna, but she wouldn't listen. It ended between them as badly as you might expect, at least for Donna." "That's sad," she replied, and then added, "By the way, I'm Tina." "Brenda," I smiled tentatively. "I know," the blond said. "You're in my chemistry lecture." "Really?" I asked. "I'm surprised you recognize me. There has to be over a hundred people in that lecture." "You're noticeable," she shrugged, smiling once again. I blushed. It wasn't my fault that I was built like I was, and to be fair, I liked it most times. The attention could be fun. The problem was that it also attracted guys like Jake who refused to give up even when I became rude about it. My looks also had a tendency to cost me girl friends too because their boyfriends invariably hit on me. Was that my fault? I didn't ask for their boyfriends' attention. "There's not a lot I can do about it," I sighed in response to Tina's comment. "I blame my looks on my parents." Let me set things straight right up front. I'm not one of the truly beautiful people. I know that. I'm worse. I'm what guys liked to call 'hot'. Oh, I know it's egotistical for me to think that, but they tell it to me often enough that it must be true. I have deep brown eyes that guys say are sexy. To me they look like every other brown-eyed girls' eyes. I also have lips that I feel are a little too thick. I don't want to discuss what some guys have said about them! My brown hair is long because I like it that way, but I typically wear it in a ponytail to try and dissuade attention. It doesn't work. Nothing works. You see in the end, their attraction all comes down to one thing. It's not my hair or my lips or my eyes. Sometimes I wish it were. For some reason it seems to me that an attraction to one of them would be more meaningful. I'm not really sure why. Of course, guys being guys, the thing that attracts them to me is exactly what you expect. In short, I'm very well endowed and there was no way to really hide it. I tried the bulky sweatshirts, but they made me feel fat. Besides, guys still noticed anyway. I tried a lot of things, but none of them worked. I gave up trying to hide my breasts a long time ago. It was impossible. I also had what I felt was a big butt and had worked out religiously to try and shrink it down. All I ended up doing was making it firmer and a bit rounder, which of course set me up to receive some more crude comments. Like Tina said earlier, men! "I was talking about the questions you tend to ask at the end of the lecture," Tina said. "They're very helpful." "Oh," I said, blushing worse than before. "I'm sorry." "Don't be embarrassed," the blond said. "I can't say I wouldn't have noticed you anyway because of your looks. I just probably wouldn't have known your name." She was being kind. I appreciated it. I smiled and looked at her closely for the first time. I shook my head. How had I missed it at first? I might not be one of the beautiful people, but Tina definitely was. I guess her friendly smile and my anger at Jake blinded me to the fact at first. "I'm surprised I didn't notice you," I said without thought. "You're beautiful." "Thanks," Tina smiled. I sighed to myself. Why couldn't I take complements as well as she did? Of course, the ones I received tended to be a bit cruder most times, but not always. Some guys called me beautiful, only I knew what they were really saying. "You want to talk about it?" Tina asked. My mind was racing and I guess it was obvious. "No thanks," I answered. "The pressure of exams is getting to me and I'm feeling bad for myself. My mind is focusing on the silliest stuff. Let's just change the subject." "Sure," Tina said. "Do you still need to study for chemistry?" "Yes," I replied. "Right after I'm done with calculus." There must have been something in my tone. "You having problems with it?" the blond asked. "You have no idea," I sighed. "I've always been good at math, but calculus is beyond me. I'm having nightmares!" "It's not that bad," Tina laughed. "Who do you have?" "Mr. Collins," I replied. "No wonder why you're having bad dreams!" she groaned. "He's a terrible teacher! Mr. Collin's is some kind of genius in math, but he has no patience and hates teaching Calc 1." "Why does he then?" I frowned. "Because everyone in the math department has to take a turn teaching the introductory courses," she replied. "Great," I sighed. "Well, at least that explains a lot." "Let's see if I can help you figure some of it out," Tina offered. "I had calculus in high school, so this year is really just a refresher." I wasn't one to ask for help, but Tina was offering and God knew I could use it. "Thanks," I said. "Don't thank me," she smiled. "You're going to have to help me with chemistry afterward. It's not my best subject." "That sounds fair," I said. Tina moved to the chair next to me. The next few hours flew by. I was amazed at how much Tina cleared up my confusion in calculus. I hope I helped her nearly as much in chemistry. She said I did, but I wasn't sure. "I need a break," Tina sighed as she closed her chemistry textbook. "I'm hungry," I smiled. "Why don't we go get some lunch at the student union?" "Sure," the blond smiled. We dropped our books off in my room since it was closer and walked across campus together. My roommate Kelly was there, but we didn't say much. Kelly and I didn't get along, but we had learned to cope with each other. "Don't look now," Tina said as we walked toward the student union. "But there's a cute guy over there following you with his eyes." "He's looking at you," I disagreed. "No way," she laughed. "He's drooling. He'd drag you into the woods if he thought he could get away with it." "Tina!" I cried. "It's the truth," the blond shrugged, ignoring my outburst. "Guys don't look at me that way, at least not until they get to know me." "Oh, and how do they look at you?" I asked, surprised at where the conversation was going. Tina looked around and spotted another guy. "He's looking at me," she said. I watched him for a moment. "So, guys who look at you look like they're worshiping a goddess while guys who look at me want to drag me off and have sex with me," I sighed. I couldn't help adding, "Care to trade?" "I wish," Tina replied, shocking me again. "You can't be serious?" I asked. "I am," Tina insisted. "You have no idea how frustrating it is. Most guys are too afraid to even walk up to me. The ones who do are typically so tongued tied it's almost embarrassing." "And most of the guys who walk up to me never even look me in the eyes," I complained. "I've had full conversations with guys without them once lifting their eyes." "Well, your boobs are spectacular," she shrugged. "Boobs?" I laughed. "Most guys use much cruder words." "You mean tits? Jugs? Bazooms? Knockers?" she joked. "Or my personal favorite, fun bags?" "That's terrible!" I cried. I'd never met a girl like Tina before. I wasn't sure how to react, but I was still happy about the help she gave me in calculus and this was college after all. I'd gone away to school to experience new things, and Tina was definitely that. She was as beautiful as any of the Greek goddesses and as I was starting to discover, had the mouth of a dockworker. "What do you prefer guys to call them?" Tina asked. "I don't!" I cried. "I prefer them not to notice." "You don't really mean that," Tina said confidently. Our eyes met for a few moments before I finally had to look away. "Okay," I admitted. "I prefer them not to notice all the time." "So," Tina smiled as we selected our food, paid and sat at an empty table. "What else do guys call them?" "A lot of things I refuse to say," I answered. "Although one of my old boyfriends liked to call them the girls, or the twins. It used to make me laugh." "What does your current boyfriends call them?" Tina asked. "I don't have one," I replied. "I've decided to focus on my studies and make sure I keep my scholarship. I may start dating next semester if my grades show I can handle it." "That's very well thought out," Tina said, looking at me oddly. "But can you really last that long without a guy?" "Sure," I shrugged. "You can't?" "I don't know," she grinned. "I've never tried." "Wow!" I said. "It's like you're two people. The one I met at the library who studied with me and this other one." "Too much for you?" Tina asked. I could feel her pulling away and I didn't want that. I needed a good friend here and she could easily develop into that. I wasn't sure why I felt that way, but I did. Besides, with her looks the jealousy thing shouldn't be an issue. I reached out and touched her wrist. "Just give me a chance to get used to you," I said softly. "You're not what I expected after studying together, but that's fine. I'd like to be friends." "I'd like that too," Tina smiled. The look she was giving me made me uncomfortable, but I didn't know why. I pulled my hand back and focused on eating for a few minutes. Tina settled back into her chair and did the same. We finished our meal and started walking back to my room. We were halfway there when I noticed Jake walking toward us with Bobby and Tyler, two of his friends. I quickly turned down one of the other paths. Tina frowned, but followed me. "What's going on?" she asked. "I'm not in the mood for Jake," I answered. "Especially not with Bobby and Tyler with him. The three of them together can be so obnoxious." "That's college guys for you," she shrugged. "He's a jerk!" I cried. "You're just angry because he's very sexy and you don't want him to be," Tina said knowingly. I couldn't argue, but she didn't give me a chance anyway. Tina added, "Don't you think you're being silly? If you want to and he wants to, why not just let it happen?" "Never!" I cried adamantly. Tina glanced back the way we came. "If that's so," she said. "Then do you mind if I see if he's interested in me?" "Not at all," I said, meaning it, but feeling a little jealous just the same. It was ridiculous and I knew it. I pushed my feelings back and added, "In fact, you'd be doing me a favor. If he was focused on you, he'd leave me alone!" "Don't bet on it," she smiled. "I'm not talking about dating him. I just want to sleep with him. He'll be back at your door tomorrow." "Tina!" I cried in shock once again. She shrugged. We arrived back at my room and thankfully Kelly wasn't there. Tina saw my sigh of relief. "So, what's going on between you and your roommate?" she asked as she sat on my bed. "I don't know," I sighed. "She's considerate enough, but she barely talks to me. We just don't seem to be able to warm up to each other." "Hmm," Tina said thoughtfully. "What?" I asked. "I'm pretty sure I know what's going on," the blond said. "But I don't think you'll want to hear it." "What?" I repeated. "Tell me. I need to figure out how to get along with her better if possible." "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you," Tina said. "I saw the way she was looking at you when we dropped our books off. Kelly wants you." "She what?" I cried. "Relax," Tina said in a tone meant to calm me down. "It's not the end of the world. Your roommate is attracted to you and she doesn't know what to do about it." "But she's a girl!" I cried dumbly. "Of course," Tina agreed. "And pretty cute if you like redheads." "You're wrong!" I insisted. "So, she's not cute?" the blond teased. "Not that!" I snapped. "I meant your wrong about her liking me." "So then you do think she's cute?" Tina asked. "You're twisting my words!" I cried. "Of course," she replied in the same calm voice. It was starting to annoy me. "But only in an attempt to get you to admit the truth to yourself." "And that would be?" I asked. "I don't know," Tina shrugged. "But like you said, you came to college to try new things." "Not that new!" I cried. "That's too bad," Tina said, standing up. "I guess it's time for me to go." "I do have more studying to do," I said, trying hard not to sigh in relief. "All work and no play, make Brenda a dull girl," Tina teased. I would have laughed, but I wasn't sure what she meant by play anymore. "Why don't you go and find Jake?" I said. "See if you can keep him distracted until after this set of tests is over." "Anything for a friend," she grinned. This time I couldn't help it. I laughed. "I'll see you at the chemistry exam," I said. "Sure," Tina smiled as put her book bag over her shoulder and opened the door. She stopped before exiting and added, "By the way, if you change your mind about experiencing new things, Kelly isn't the only one interested." I swallowed hard and nodded, not in agreement so much as to get her out of my room. Tina was smiling sexily as she closed the door. To say I was stunned was an understatement. Now I knew what Tina meant by play and it frightened me. Not just because it was wrong, but because of the sudden realization that the thought didn't totally disgust me. It went against everything I was brought up to believe, but that didn't seem to matter at the moment. Tina was a beautiful girl and her confidence drew me to her. "Maybe it was a mistake to decide not to date guys this semester," I said to myself as I shook my head. I wasn't sex starved or anything, but it had been a while since I even let a guy kiss me. Maybe that was affecting me. My mind was too distracted to focus on my studies. I puttered around the room for a while and finally decided to go to sleep. I'd wake up early to study some more. I put on my pajama top and kept on my panties. I typically didn't wear my pajama bottoms to bed because the top was long and it was still warm out this time of the year, but I thought about it tonight because of what Tina said about Kelly. "She was wrong," I grumbled, refusing to change my routine as I reached under my shirt and released my bra. Wearing one was necessary during the day for the support, but I always felt relieved at night once I freed myself from it. My breasts were heavy and without the bra they sagged a little. They had to. Gravity demanded it. I rubbed under them where the wires pushed all day long. It felt good. I turned to the mirror on the door almost without realizing it and lifted my shirt. My breasts were full and my nipples were starting to jut out. I smiled as I caressed myself. Despite my desire for guys to notice them less often, I couldn't deny I was proud of what I had. I had a flash of Tina's sexy smile and found myself imagining her watching me. My nipples stiffened considerable. "No!" I snapped, pulling my hands away. "I am not that way!" I shut the lights and climbed into my bed. The only problem was the picture of Tina's sexy smile wouldn't leave my head. In desperation I allowed myself to think about Jake. He might be a jerk, but at least he was a guy! A handsome, well built one too. I remembered how it felt when he had me trapped against the library desk. I once again felt his presence frightening me, but in an oddly enjoyable way. I was attracted to Jake. Tina had said it and I couldn't disagree. The truth was that at this moment I decided it was better to admit to myself just how hot Jake made me feel then to focus on Tina. I couldn't help myself. I once again started rubbing my boobs, as Tina called them. I moaned. There was a tingling between my legs that I knew I'd have to deal with before I'd be able to sleep. I wasn't one to take care of myself all that often, but tonight I needed release. I allowed one of my hands to drift away from my breasts and toward my center. I couldn't hold in the moan that slipped out as my fingers brushed through my panties. The room was starting to fill with my scent as my panties went from slightly damp to soaked in moments. I thought about teasing myself a little, but I needed relief too much. I quickly pulled my panties off and was about to drop them, but instead I brought them closer to my face. Brenda's Learns the Truth Is it a bad thing to like the smell of yourself? It wasn't something I'd ever admit to any one else, but I did. I found myself wondering what Tina's panties smelled like when she was excited. "That's sick!" I cried, throwing mine to the floor and focusing on trying to picture what Jake's well-muscled body looked like underneath his cloths. I'd seen him without his shirt and his chest and arms were impressive. I used two fingers to stroke my clit gently as I thought of him. It wasn't long before my fingers delved deeper. I was so wet there was almost no resistance at all. My scent was overpowering as it filled the room. I could feel my orgasm building and knew it would be one of the bigger ones, which was exactly what I needed. It was nearly upon me when I heard the door start to open. I cursed silently and stopped moving. It was harder than you would think. I almost didn't care that Kelly was about to catch me. Almost. I froze and remained silent. It was impossible for Kelly not to smell my excitement. At first I had no idea how to react, but then it hit me. I only had one choice. I forced my breathing to slow and feigned being asleep. "Brenda?" Kelly asked. I remained silent and unmoving. Kelly put on her desk light. I remained still, but opened my eyes slightly to watch her. There was no danger she could see me awake. I was too far away from the light and my pillow covered part of my face. I saw Kelly frown and rub her nose. She obviously smelled my excitement, but I wasn't sure she realized what the scent was. I almost sighed out loud in relief when she shrugged and opened the window. My roommate had auburn hair and cute freckles. She was relatively flat up top, but worked out regular and had a perfect butt. In fact, I wish mine looked like hers. Kelly was a pretty girl. 'None of that!' I snapped to myself. Okay, so after talking to Tina I was seeing my roommate in a whole different light. That didn't mean I had to react to it. It also didn't mean that Tina was right about Kelly's feelings for me. Of course, that didn't stop me from watching with more interest then I should have as Kelly undressed and put on her pajama's. 'As soon as these exams are over, I'm getting myself a boyfriend!' I thought. I needed to guy to help me stop thinking about Tina and Kelly. I hated to admit it, but I was just too horny these days. 'God, I hate that word!' "What's this?" Kelly asked suddenly, drawing me out of my thoughts. I saw her reaching down and almost passed out when I realized she was about to pick up my panties. How could I be so stupid and throw them there? My mind raced, but I couldn't think of a single thing that would stop her without making it worse. "Oh wow!" Kelly cried as she stood. "Looks like the princess finally gave in and had a little fun. At least by herself." I was stunned by her words, but I remained silent. What choice did I have? My shock grew as my roommate slowly raised my panties to her nose and took a deep breath. I guess I wasn't the only one who liked my scent. "I thought so," Kelly smiled looking toward me in my bed. "You must have been seriously in need to make the whole room smell. I wonder what finally got to you?" My roommate continued to hold my panties as she went to her desk and shut the light. I heard her climbing into her bed. A moment later, the noises coming from there made it obvious what was happening. "You smell so hot!" Kelly moaned as the sound of her fingers pushing in and out of herself echoed throughout the room. She must have been soaked! I felt the tingle between my legs get stronger as I slowly rubbed my thighs together. I could smell myself once more, but I didn't have to worry. Kelly was so excited that her own scent filled the room, overpowering mine for the moment. I suddenly realized that the room typically smelled slightly like her most nights I arrived back in our room late. I'd always thought it was because Kelly wore an interesting perfume. I'd almost asked her what it was despite our not getting along. Now that would have been embarrassing! I wanted desperately to finish what I started earlier, but I was too afraid she'd catch me. I lay there silently listening to my roommate working herself to orgasm. It didn't take particularly long. The room was silent for a few minutes after Kelly finally caught her breath. I thought that maybe she'd fallen asleep, but then my roommate stood and turned her desk light on again. I noticed that she was still holding my panties. The tingle between my legs surged and I had to clamp them tight. "That was amazing," she said softly, looking my way. "Maybe one day it won't be your panties in my face as I orgasm. Maybe it will be the real thing! I bet I could make you scream." Her tone made it sound more like a promise. I bit my lip. If what she was saying was so wrong, why was my body reacting? I forced my thoughts away from that. 'Well,' I thought. 'At least I know that Tina is right about Kelly.' It didn't help. In fact, now I was picturing Tina and Kelly together. I was certain it would be something. "I need a shower," Kelly said suddenly. I watched as my roommate stripped and put her robe on. She took her time. It was almost like she knew I was watching. The last thing she took off was her panties. Kelly surprised me by laughing and throwing them on the floor near my bed. "Let's see how you sleep with the scent of my release filling you," she said as walked out of the room. "Sweet dreams!" The next few minutes went by in a sexually filled haze. I stopped thinking. I stopped worrying. My need was too great for that. I reached down as soon as the door closed and grabbed Kelly's soaked panties. They were still warm! I brought them to my nose and inhaled deeply. My fingers blurred as I stoked two of them in and out of my wetness. My body shivered every time the palm of my hand slapped down hard on my clit. I could feel my orgasm building quickly. I couldn't resist sticking my tongue out and tasting Kelly from her wet panties just as my orgasm hit. I moaned loudly as my juices covered my two fingers and most of my hand as my orgasm hit. I'd tasted myself before, but only once. It was too weird at the time. It didn't taste bad, but it just felt wrong. Now with the taste and scent of Kelly filling me the weirdness and wrongness were gone, at least for the moment. I pulled my two cum covered fingers from my pussy and brought them to my mouth. I licked them clean and sucked on them. I liked the taste so much that I pushed my fingers back inside of me briefly and did it again. Afterward, I took Kelly's panties and used them to dry my pussy. They became even wetter with both of our juices covering them. The door started to open again. I threw Kelly's panties where she left them and feigned sleep once more. This time it was a lot easier because I was finally spent. I didn't bother peaking at her. I didn't see if she picked up her panties and noticed that they were warm and wet with more than her juices. I didn't care. I fell asleep quickly and contently. ********** "Jake, if you were the last man on earth," I said in frustration. "I'd become a lesbian." I blushed, realizing I was offering some information about my thoughts these days. I knew where that came from, but that was last week and a mistake. Not that I did anything that bad. "Hmm," he grinned. "That sounds interesting." "It does, doesn't it?" Tina said as she joined us. I held in a groan. We hadn't seen each other since the day we met except at the chemistry exam. I'd handled that badly. I barely said hello before moving to the other side of the room. "I saw her first!" Jake laughed. They had become friends of a sort since last week. That much was obvious. "Maybe we can share?" she asked. "I'm willing," Jake smiled. "How about you Brenda?" "No," I said a little too quickly, causing him to laugh and Tina to smile. "First off, no offense Tina, but I'm heterosexual." "None taken," the girl said. She was a perfect match for Jake in looks. It annoyed me for some reason. I guess it was jealousy, but at this point I wasn't even sure who I was jealous of. Tina smiled in a way that made me think she guessed what I was thinking. She added, "Let me know if you change your mind." "Sure," I said, swallowing uncomfortably and probably blushing, although I tried to act like nothing unusual was happening. This was the beginning of my second month at University and being away from home was quite an eye opener. "In that case, what about me?" Jake asked. "The offer to come to my room is still on the table." His sheer audacity amazed me. You had to give him one thing though. Jake was certainly confidant. I'm sure it came with the good looks and impressive body, but still most guys, even hot ones, can take no for an answer. Not Jake. I decided to have some fun with him. I couldn't help it. An ego that big needed to be tweaked. "Will it stop you from constantly bothering me?" I asked. "Of course," he smiled. "You know how guys are," Tina offered. "Once they get what they want, they disappear." "So true," Jake laughed. "Not that I wouldn't mind a repeat with you." "Maybe one day," Tina replied, but it sounded more like a promise. "But not today," Jake nodded in understanding. Her then turned back to me and added, "Well, how about it?" I paused. "Why not," I finally answered. "If it will get rid of you, it's worth it. Besides, you might be a jerk, but you are cute." "Alright!" Jake grinned in triumph. I thought most guys would have known I was joking, but not Jake. I guess he thought his charm and good looks were too much for me. "You lucky dog!" Bobby cried. He was one of Jake's two closest friends at school. Of course his exclamation drew the attention of the other one who was near by, which in turn drew the attention of everyone else. I fought hard not to roll my eyes as Jake's two friends made comments. I didn't know them that well, but my initial reaction was not to like either of them. Both had hit on me at one time or another and neither of them had been original. In fact, I slapped Tyler after what he said. He just laughed and went after another girl. I noticed Tina was frowning slightly as she watched, but the blond remained silent. She was obviously bright enough to guess I wasn't serious. "Let's go," Jake said, trying to take my elbow. I guess he was either really in the mood or afraid I would change my mind. The first was probably and the second would never happen. I knew my mind very well when it came to Jake. He didn't have a chance. "Oh wait," I said as if just remembering something. I pulled away and spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. "That's right. Donna said you have a really small...well, you know...I think I'll pass." "Ouch!" Tyler laughed. "That sucks man." The others in hearing distance started laughing. "I do not have..." Jake began, but he stopped because he knew it was pointless. He might be many things, but stupid wasn't one of them. He turned to me and snapped, "You bitch!" Maybe he was right. I was being pretty unkind, but I was tired of him hitting on me. All I wanted was for Jake to leave me alone. Hopefully this would do the trick. Besides, this was Jake and he was a jerk. "Look," I said. "I've said it before. Why not just leave me alone and we can avoid conversations like this in the future?" Jake looked at me angrily. I was certain he was going to say something else. I braced myself. I'd heard Jake say some pretty crude things in the past and fully expected to hear worse now. Instead, his jaw clenched and he stomped off. His friends followed him. "That was pretty harsh," Tina said as the small crowd that gathered disbursed. "I'm sure a guy with his ego will recover quickly enough," I shrugged. "Probably," she replied. "But what if you were right? What is he does have a small one?" "You think?" I grinned. "You really can be a bitch, can't you?" Tina asked with a laugh. "Sorry," I blushed. "But I really don't like him." "Sure you don't," she said knowingly. I ignored her and continued. "I just can't help hoping that it's true," I said as I took another sip of my drink. "It would server him right." "Hope all you want," Tina shrugged. "It's a waste of time. Jake is pretty well endowed." "It figures," I sighed. I knew Tina said she was going to go after Jake. I was pretty sure from Jake's comment that it had happened, but now I had confirmation. Oh well, I guess they deserved each other. I refused to think about them together. "I can't say that I'm surprised. He's physically one of the hottest guys I know. It just goes along with the rest of the package." "And a very nice package it is!" Tina grinned. I couldn't help myself. I laughed. I saw her glance across the room. "Speaking of which," she said with a twinkle in her eye. "If you like guys who are well endowed, you might want to try that one over there." I blushed, but also looked where she was pointing. I couldn't help myself. The guy was cute, but nothing special from this distance. He had dark hair and eyes, and stood about six feet tall. He did have a nice butt and I liked that in a guy. "Bigger than Jake?" I asked, surprising myself. Tina brought out the worst in me! Well, her and alcohol. "No," Tina answered. "Jake is actually pretty amazing in that department, but Steve is bigger than average and he's a nice guy." I looked back at him. He was dancing with a group of friends and moved very well. Maybe he was more than just cute. He might even be handsome, but it was hard to tell at this distance. "Do you want me to introduce you?" Tina asked. She had an amused expression, but I ignored it. "Steven, right?" I asked, only paying half attention as I continued to watch the guy dance. "Yes," she replied, smiling slowly and adding, "You're thinking about trying to seduce him. I can tell." "Me?" I asked in surprise. "Yes you!" she laughed. "I don't seduce guys," I finally said, blushing again. I shrugged and added, "They're just attracted to me. You know how guys are." "I do when they're around girl's with boobs like yours," she laughed. "Please!" I joined her, still a little embarrassed, but ignoring it. "You have no idea how many times guys 'accidentally' bump into them. It can be very annoying." "Hmm," she said. "There goes that plan." I blushed badly this time and Tina laughed again. "You're terrible!" I cried, but I wasn't really upset. I was learning that Tina was Tina. "I told you I'm not that way." "Maybe not yet," the blond replied. "But people change, especially away at college." "Did you?" I couldn't help asking. "No, not really," she replied, and then grinned before adding, "I was pretty much always a slut." I froze in shock and looked at her in stunned silence for a moment. I'm sure my expression was priceless. I'd never met a girl before who considered herself a slut. This was particularly true for the girls who actually were sluts. Tina was definitely an odd one. "I don't know about that," I found myself saying. "But you are funny." "Does that mean you'll sleep with me?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. I don't know why, but even with her making advances on me I couldn't help liking Tina. Of course, that didn't make me lesbian. "No thanks," I smiled. "But I wouldn't mind being friends." "Ah well," she grinned. "That will just have to do, for now. It's actually better than I hoped. You've been avoiding me this week." "I had those tests to focus on," I said, changing the subject. We both knew I wasn't being completely truthful, but she let it go. "By the way, thanks for the help in calculus. It made a big difference." "You're welcome," she smiled. "Any time. You helped in chemistry too." We continued to talk and drink for quite a while. Tina was great company, which was just what I needed. Kelly and I still weren't getting along and after last weekend it only became worse. I felt an odd sense of guilt every time I saw her. I usually went out with some of my hall mates, but tonight they were rushing a sorority I couldn't stand. Okay, maybe it was just the president, but that was enough. I ended up going out with one hall mate who also didn't like that sorority, but she quickly disappeared when he boyfriend showed up. This past week was as tough as I expected. I had my first major paper due and three tests. I survived it and I was out tonight because I needed the break. So here I was having a great time and talking to Tina, a girl I promised to avoid at all costs. It was very weird, but I was enjoying myself too much to think about it. The alcohol helped. We left the party and walked back toward the dorms. I was blushing at something off color that Tina has said when she suddenly grew serious. "Brenda," Tina frowned after a while. "Don't take this personal, but is it possible you're a virgin?" "No," I replied after a moment of hesitation. Her question was very personal, but from the beginning it was obvious that anything sexual was not off limits with Tina. "I slept with my last boyfriend a couple of times before we broke up." "Was it any good?" Tina asked. "I guess," I shrugged, remembering back. Billy was a nice guy, but I was his first too and neither one of us had a clue. "If you're only guessing," Tina sighed, shaking her head. "Then it wasn't." "It hurt the first time and we stopped right afterward," I said, not sure why I was explaining it to Tina. "The second time he came way too fast." "Was there a third time?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "And a fourth, but it didn't really get any better." "What part did you like best?" Tina asked. "I'm not going to tell you that!" I cried in embarrassment. I'm not even sure why. We'd joked about so much already, only this wasn't joking. She was asking a serious question and I was uncomfortable answering it. "You want to know what I like best when I'm with a guy?" the blond asked. I couldn't help myself. I nodded. She smiled and continued. "A couple of things actually. Sometimes I liked climbing onto his lap and straddling him. It gives me a sense of control." "Wow!" I cried, although by this time I shouldn't have been shocked by anything Tina said. "Other times," she added. "I like to be taken." "Taken?" I asked, my breath quickening. "Yeah," she grinned. "You know what I mean. I like to have a strong guy hold me down and drive me crazy! Especially if I'm laying on my stomach and he's pushing into me from behind." "You let guys do that?" I asked. "Of course," she replied. "When I'm in the mood. It feels amazing!" "You are something else," I said, shaking my head. "I've been called worse," she grinned. "For better reasons too." I laughed once again as we continued to walk. We actually fell silent for a few moments. "Billy and I only did it the one way," I offered slowly. "And it sounds like it wasn't any good," Tina put in. "Is that why you can't tell me what was best?" "No," I said, swallowing and thinking back to before Billy. "Aha!" the blond cried, reading my expression. "You have something on your mind. Share it." "Once," I said slowly, surprising myself. I couldn't believe I was going to tell her this! It was something I tried hard not even to think about most times. "I did something with one of my boyfriends...I can't say it!" "Go ahead," Tina shrugged. "I promise you, I won't be offended." I took a deep breath. "I didn't allow Dan below the waist, but I liked him enough to let him take my shirt off," I began, remembering. "Lucky guy," Tina put in, looking at me in a way I chose to ignore. "I don't know what came over me at the time, but I was taking care of him with my hand like I do with guys when things get too crazy and almost without realizing it I used my boobs to finish him off," I said as quickly as I could, blushing once more. Brenda's Learns the Truth "What made you like it so much?" Tina asked. "I don't know!" I cried in embarrassment, but then added, "I guess a few things. First, his expression when he realized what I was doing. He obviously loved it." "And?" Tina asked, a little too quickly. "He was so excited that he started helping," I answered. "I liked the feel of him over me." "What else?" Tina asked, reading my expression. "I liked how it felt when he was done," I added. "You mean when he came all over your boobs?" Tina asked. I was too embarrassed to answer verbally, so I nodded. "I can't explain it," I shrugged. "It was just so nice and warm." "Did you rub it in?" Tina asked. "Yes," I answered guiltily. "We were at my house and my parents weren't home. Dan had to leave right after he was done because he was already late for curfew. I lay there and rubbed it in." "Did you taste it?" Tina asked. "Yes," I admitted, biting my bottom lip. "What did you think?" "It was good, very good," I shrugged, not sure what else to say. Tina laughed. "What happened after that?" she asked. "Nothing," I shrugged. "We broke up the next week and I started dating Billy." "Did anything like that ever happen with him?" Tina asked. "No," I shrugged. "He liked to play with my boobs, but that was about it." "Why didn't you do what you did with Dan?" she asked. "It just didn't feel right," I shrugged. "You don't realize how odd it was for me to do it at all! I can't even believe we're having this conversion. It's so not me!" "You've said that before," she said. "But if it's not you, I'm guessing you might want it to be." "No!" I cried, blushing again. I was overreacting and I knew it. I blamed the alcohol. Of course, it could be that Tina was right, but I didn't want to think about that. "No need to stress over it," she shrugged. "It's your life." "I'm sorry for snapping," I said, letting out the breath I hadn't even realized I'd been holding. "You want to make it up to me?" Tina asked. "How?" I asked carefully. She grinned. "I'm guessing that when you wake up tomorrow, you're going to regret a lot of what we talked about tonight," she answered. "In fact, I think you'll be too embarrassed to even talk to me again, just like last week." "It's possible," I answered honestly. "Then I need you to do me one favor," Tina said. "Don't worry. I know you're not a lesbian. I won't ask you to sleep with me again. At least not tonight." "Then what do you want?" I asked. "A kiss," Tina smiled. "No way!" I cried. "Oh relax!" she laughed. "It's just a kiss. Girlfriends kiss all the time." "Not my girlfriends," I retorted. "I do," she said. "And you've called me your friend, at least for tonight." I frowned as I tried to force thoughts through my head. My alcohol-fogged brain really didn't see that one simple kiss would be that big of a deal. Of course, somewhere inside another part of me was screaming not to do it. I knew it was silly, but I could feel it just the same. I opened my mouth to tell Tina no, but then I saw her looking at me. Tina really was a beautiful girl. Her eyes were filled with a lot of things, not the least of which was desire, but there was also humor there. I remember how much she made me laugh and how badly I needed it. I really did feel a lot better and it wasn't just because of the alcohol. "If you like," Tina said into the silence. "You can imagine you're kissing Jake." "Please!" I grimaced, causing her to laugh. "How about Steve?" she asked. "That's more like it," I said, smiling slightly. "Is that a yes?" Tina asked. I couldn't answer her, but I did nod once, slowly and nervously. The smile was gone from my features. Frankly, I didn't know what I was feeling, or more truthfully, I couldn't categorize it. Tina started moving toward. I looked at her and saw the warm smile there. Her lips were not nearly as full as my own, but they were full enough and soft looking. I could feel my heart jump in my chest as she moved close enough for me to feel her breath against my face. "Relax," she smiled. "This won't hurt a bit." I swallowed and nodded, but didn't really relax. 'Why am I letting her do this!' I cried silently. 'I can still stop her!' But I didn't. Tina kiss was warm and gently. The first thing that hit me was that the feel of her lips against mine didn't disgust me. In fact, they felt good! Tina was an excellent kisser. I'm sure some of it had to do with all the practice she got, but most of it had to just be Tina. I don't know what came over me, but I let my lips part slightly in the middle of the kiss. That was all the invitation Tina needed. Her tongue brushed my lips and now she was wrapping her arms around me. Tina's boobs weren't nearly as large as mine, but they felt amazing against me. I could feel her nipples hardening against my chest, which of course caused mine to do the same. I lost myself in the feel of her. "You need to decide," Tina said suddenly, pulling away. "We have to stop now unless you want this to become much more than a simple kiss." I blinked twice before I regained control and was able to answer. "Not tonight, probably not ever. I'm sorry." It was Tina's turn to let out a long breath. "Don't be," she said, trying to hide her disappointment. "You've been honest with me all night and that's all anyone can ask. Of course, I could wish you weren't such a good kisser." "Me?" I said, shaking my head. "You're the first girl I've ever kissed and it shouldn't have been that good." "So then there's hope?" Tina smiled. "Well," I said, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't hurt her feelings and also wouldn't be a lie. It came to me suddenly. "Let's just say if it comes down to Jake being the last man on Earth and me having to follow up on my threat, it will definitely be you." "Gee, thanks," she laughed, rolling her eyes. "I have to go to sleep," I said, needed to get away from Tina. She was making me think about things I didn't want to. "I'm sure we'll be seeing each other on campus," she smiled as she started to walk away. Her last words to me were, "I hope you wake up tomorrow and still want to be friends." "I hope so too," I said softly. I worked hard at not thinking about the kiss and what it promised, but that didn't stop my mind from replaying the other parts of Tina and my conversations in my head. She hadn't only talked about lesbianism. She'd also talked about guys. I found myself wondering what it would feel like to straddle a guys lap and ride him to orgasm. I wondered if I really could enjoy being held down while some guy thrust inside of me from behind. I wondered a lot of things. 'I really better get to sleep before I do something stupid,' I thought. 'Like go find this Steven and throw myself at him. Or worse, Jake!' I refused to think about going after Tina. I made my way inside my room. Kelly was still out so I quickly undressed, leaving myself completely naked. I also got myself a drink from the mini fridge. I downed half of it before putting it down and started slowly rubbing my full breasts. I was far gentler than the few guys I let do the same thing. There was a tingling between my legs again. I wasn't surprised. I was quickly learning that conversations with Tina did that to me. I'm sure the kiss helped. I took one last drink before getting into bed. I pinched my nipples gently and bit back a moan. I was even more in need than last week! I'd always wondered something, but I'd been too uncomfortable with the thought of trying it. Not tonight. I tilted my head forward and used both hands to lift one breast to my mouth. It reached! My nipple was soft and rubbery, and it felt very good when I sucked on it. It came to me that I probably was just as much of a pervert as Tina, but only when I was by myself. "Like that makes a difference," I said, but I knew it did. I let go of my breast. I can't say that my hands moved of their own accord once I was lying down, but they did move in ways that drove me crazy. I couldn't remember ever being this horny before! My legs were spread wide as my fingers danced. This was suddenly more than just about simple release. I stayed away from my clit since I knew that would be the end of it, and I didn't want that, not yet. I teased myself as unmercifully as I could because it felt so good! At one point, a picture of Tina's face just before she kissed me popped into my head. I felt my excitement peak to a new level. I moaned as it grew more slippery between my legs. I knew thinking about Tina was wrong, but it helped and I was too horny to stop myself, at least until my thoughts started getting far more intimate. "I need to think about something else!" I groaned, and then suddenly it came to me. "Or someone else! Steven!" And that's what I did. I thought about a guy I didn't know and had only seen from a distance. I imagined what it would feel like to have someone big inside of me. I know most girls supposedly don't care how big a guy is down there, but I was curious. Okay, more than curious. I pictured myself straddled Steve's hips, feeling him deep inside and riding him with everything I had. I pushed two fingers inside myself. They felt so good! This was going to be the best orgasm of my life. I just knew it! "Yes!" I moaned to myself, thinking of Dan once more. I'd seen him up close. It was something else! He wasn't huge, but I remember how his hardness felt between my boobs as he straddled my chest. "I should never have broken up with him to go out with Billy." Billy. How could such a handsome and nice guy be so useless in bed? I used to blame myself for how bad it was, but after talking to Tina I was starting to believe it wasn't me. I owed her for that if nothing else. "I paid my debts to her with that kiss!" I gasped. I knew that wasn't fair. I'd enjoyed the kiss just as much as Tina had, but I wasn't ready to think about that. I didn't know if I'd ever be ready. On the other hand, I didn't want to think about Billy either. He wasn't particularly well endowed, but then again he wasn't small either, at least not if what they say is average is true. What we did was enjoyable, but not great. I'm sure part of it was that he wasn't inside of me very long before he lost it, but I had a secret fear that it was more than that. Maybe there was something wrong with me down there? Yet, I couldn't deny that what I was doing right now felt good. It was so confusing! "Maybe a big guy would feel better," I mused, picturing Steven and even Jake. I moaned and decided to focus on Steven once more. At least he wasn't a jerk. "Come on Steven!" I groaned, letting my imagination go wild. "Give it to me! Take me like Tina described!" I couldn't resist. I rolled onto my stomach and reached under myself. I had to raise my hips to make room for my hand, but that was fine. It made me feel more open and vulnerable, which made it easy for me to imagine being taken like this. I pictured Steven stroking in and out of my from behind. Three of my fingers kept pace. It felt amazing! Suddenly it wasn't Steven in me, but Jake. He was a big guy and strong. I imagined how it would feel to have him pushing in and out of me. I could almost feel my body shaking with each thrust. Tina had said his cock was even bigger than Steven's. I tried to imagine how that would feel. I moaned loudly. Tina was suddenly in my daydream. Her lips found mine as Jake continued to ride me from behind. Her mouth tasted as amazing as I remembered and I felt my body close to release. "Wow!" Kelly cried, snapping on the light. I hadn't heard her come in. I hadn't heard anything. I was too lost in my fantasy. "That is so hot!" "Oh damn!" I cried, pulling my hand out from under me. "No!" Kelly cried. "Don't stop! Finish!" "I can't!" I found myself crying. "Not in front of you!" "Let me help," Kelly smiled hungrily as she moved toward me. "No!" I cried, but she was faster than I was. I tried to sit up, but Kelly pushed me back down on my stomach and thrust her fingers inside me. I was so wet that they slipped in and all I could do was moan for a moment. I tried to move again after that, but it was a mistake. All it accomplished was making her fingers go deeper. They were much further inside of me than mine were before and despite some pain, it felt amazing! "That's it!" the redhead cried, as she reached around with her other hand and started playing with my clit. "Let yourself go!" "This is so wrong!" I moaned, but I was past caring. No, it was worse than that. I liked it! I liked what Kelly was doing to me. "I'm going to explode!" "Do it!" Kelly cried, driving her fingers deep and rubbing my clit unmercifully with her other hand. "More!" I demanded huskily. "I want more!" "Wow!" she said in appreciation. "I never guessed you could be this way." "Finish me!" I begged. "Please!" "With pleasure!" Kelly cried lustfully. I'm not sure what she did. Her fingers twisted inside of me and hit a spot that send me over the edge so completely that I screamed into the mattress. "Yes!" I cried as I lost total control of my body. It felt like a massive sexual charge caused every synapse in my body to fire. I shuddered for quite a while. I was more than half passed out when it finally ended. I opened my eyes only long enough to see Kelly smiling sexily as she licked my juices from her fingers. She was so intent on what she was doing that she didn't notice me watching. That didn't stop me from seeing the hunger and need in her. Now that my orgasm was done, it frightened me. I closed my eyes. "Brenda?" Kelly asked a few moments later. I ignored her. I didn't want to face what I had done, much less do more, and I knew that's what she wanted. Besides, I was too exhausted to deal with the aftermath tonight. I'd have to find a way soon, but that was a problem for tomorrow. ********** "What am I going to do?" I asked myself as I walked across campus. The sun was barely up and I had no idea where I was going. I woke up early and saw Kelly lying in her bed. She was naked and had obviously taken care of herself after I passed out. I dressed as quickly as I could and left. I needed time to think. A part of me felt oddly guilty because of the release my roommate gave me with out me returning it, but I couldn't do it. Besides, it's not like I asked her to do it. I even tried to stop her! "Yeah, right," I mumbled. I could have stopped Kelly, but it felt too good. In fact, whether I wanted to admit it or not, it felt even better than when I took care of myself, and it shouldn't have. I wasn't a lesbian. I liked guys. I should have been horrified and disgusted, but despite my wanting to feel that way, I didn't. In fact if I was being completely truthful with myself, a small part of me felt disappointed that I'd fallen asleep last night instead of seeing what happened next. "Would it have been that bad?" I asked, stunned by my question. I shook my head and cried, "Of course it would!" A bird on a nearby tree limb flew away, frightened by my outburst. I wanted to join it in flight. I would love to just disappear into the sky and forget all of this. It was all so confusing. Intellectually I could admit certain things to myself, but obviously despite enjoying what happened, I was having problems accepting what it all meant emotionally. Or was it that emotionally I accepted it and intellectually I was having problems? My head felt like it was ready to burst. I decided to try and forgot it all for a while. I went to the student union to eat breakfast. I was the first one served. The place had barely opened when I entered. I sat there for quite a while trying to think about something else, anything else. The only conclusion I came to by the time I was done was that I still wasn't ready to go back to my room and face Kelly. I started wondering around campus again. I'm not sure how long I did it before my roommate tracked me down. I didn't see Kelly until she was walking next to me. "Are you okay?" she asked, with honest concern. "I will be," I answered. "You're pretty freaked out, aren't you?" the redhead asked. "What do you think?" I answered sarcastically, but I instantly felt bad and added, "Sorry." "I understand," she said kindly. "Learning to accept what I am wasn't easy, especially not after the first time." "I'm not like you!" I snapped, feeling bad again, but this time refusing to apologize. "Only time will tell," she shrugged, but she was smiling knowingly. It irritated me to no end. "Kelly," I began. "I like boys." Yet, I wondered if it were true. I didn't much care for Billy or what had happened with him. On the other hand, I had felt something with Dan even before our last time together. "I don't," Kelly replied. "I never have." "So we are different," I said confidently. "Are you sure you're not just trying to convince yourself?" she asked. "Of course I am!" I snapped. "But that doesn't mean I'm wrong." "But it doesn't mean you're right either," the redhead said. "Let's see," I said, my mind racing as I looked around campus. I did something I never would have believed, but I was just too confused and frustrated to care. There were two guys moving down the path toward us. The one on the left was plain. He was also very tall and wide, hulking almost. He was actually a little bit frightening when it came down to it. I probably would have let them pass by if his friend hadn't been cute. "Pardon me," I said. They both smiled. The cute one had a nice dimple. The other one's smile was nice too, but it didn't make him any less threatening. "Yes?" the cute one asked, obviously finding it hard not to look at my boobs while he was talking to me. At the moment it was nice to see that I still had that affect on guys. The bigger one took one long look at them too, but then raised his eyes to mine. I quickly looked away. "I'm Brenda and this is Kelly," I said. "Bert," the cute said. "Leo," the big guy added. "Would one of you please kiss me?" I asked, refusing to think about how crazy my request was. "I need to prove a point." "You're kidding?" the cute one asked. Leo didn't bother. He surprised me by taking me into his arms and kissing me roughly. I tensed at first, but he was a good kisser. I slowly relaxed and enjoyed it. The longer we kissed the more confident I was that I liked guys. My confusion started to lift. I put more effort into the kiss and Leo seemed to appreciate it. "Hey!" I heard Kelly cry. It was followed by a slapping sound. I pulled away from Leo. Bert was standing there rubbing his cheek. "I'm a lesbian!" Kelly was crying. "And even if I wasn't, that doesn't give you the right to just kiss me!" "Sorry," poor Bert replied. "I just thought..." "No you didn't," I cut in. "But it happens. No harm done. Thanks guys." "Hey wait!" Leo said. "That's it? Don't you want another kiss?" "Not right at the moment," I smiled. "But thanks. You're a good kisser and it helped a lot." "Um, you're welcome," he laughed, shaking his head. "Any time." Leo wasn't particularly good looking, but he wasn't ugly either. He was pretty big and it felt good to be held in his strong arms. I found myself wondering what else might feel good with him. "I might take you up on that someday," I grinned, surprised by my own words, but not terribly so. I was starting to think that Tina was right. Maybe I was changing now that I was away from home. "In that case," he said, grabbing me and pulling me close. "Let me make sure you have something more to remind you." Leo kissed me again, this time more passionately. His tongue thrust into my mouth roughly. I felt myself responding. I also felt him against me. His excitement grew and I could feel it against my stomach.