0 comments/ 14920 views/ 6 favorites Being Home By: TessMackenzie This is Bec from "Coming Home" again. ***** The first Bec knew of the tractor being broken was when she went outside and tried to start it. Nothing happened. She tried again. She found the choke and pulled it. She wiggled the starter button in case something had jammed. Silence. The tractor was dead. She climbed out and opened the engine bay and had a look for loose cables. She couldn't see anything, so she went inside and called the dealership and asked for someone to come out. Then she waited. Her parents were away for a week at the field days, so she didn't have much else to do but wait. She had been planning to run the slasher over the back paddocks, but that wasn't urgent. It could be done in a day, or in a week. It was cool morning at the end of summer. They'd be needing fires soon. She decided to start cutting wood. They always needed a lot to last through winter. She got a chainsaw and took her pickup up the back, to the top paddocks, where shade trees had died in the drought and then fallen over in last winter's storms. She started cutting branches into logs. She worked lazily, only taking the easy wood. The old gum branches were split and cracked and came apart on their own when they were cut. She left the thicker logs that didn't split easily, and left the main trunks. There were hundreds of trees, enough to last whole lifetime of winters, so there wasn't any point making too much of an effort to get these particular logs. She'd come back up and burn them here in winter, once the ground was wet and fire wouldn't spread. As she made each truck-load of cut wood, she threw it into the back of the pickup and took it down to the house. The wood-pile was around the side, at the edge of the home paddock and under a shelter-belt, out the rain. She stacked wood, adding to the row that was already there. After a couple of hours, while she was stacking the third load, she heard a vehicle in the drive. She went and looked around the side of the house to see who it was, expecting the tractor mechanic. It was the tractor dealership's truck, with tool-boxes and spare parts in the back, but the guy getting out wasn't Barry. Barry was her father's age and had been their tractor mechanic for most of Bec's life, and this wasn't him. The guy getting out was definitely not Barry. He was young, and he was hot. He had oily jeans, and a tight tee shirt, and a cap with the dealership's logo on it. He was glancing around like he was wondering where everyone was. Bec stood there, and stared, and tried to decide what to do. Tried to decide, while still realizing anything needed deciding at all. She was sweaty and dusty and had twigs and leaves in her hair. She was stuck out at her parents farm, where she'd known everyone for miles around all her life, and where most people were over fifty anyway. She was horny. She hadn't got laid in a couple of months, and was too busy to go into town and get picked up, and both the need and the busy was getting worse. She was getting desperate. She needed something inside her that wasn't made of plastic and something touching her that wasn't her own hand. She needed this guy, and he'd come at the worst possible time. She didn't want him seeing her like this. She was filthy. She was wearing thick dirty chainsaw safety pants and a grubby singlet. She had sawdust in her hair, and chain oil on her hands. She decided. She tugged her boots off, and then pushed the chainsaw pants down. She had jeans on underneath. She turned on the outside tap and ran water over her arms, splashed it on her face. It didn't help much, except to make her drippy. Around the front the guy was shouting hello. She hesitated, then reached back and undid her bra. Wriggled her arms out of it, tugged it out from under her singlet, and threw it behind a shrub. It was vain. It was the most incredibly vain thing she'd done in a while, but might work. A minute ago she'd been a sweaty, dirty farm chick next to a wood pile. Now she was a poster hanging on a chainsaw shop's wall. She decided to stick with the plan. She splashed a bit more water around, got her hair and singlet damp enough to be obvious, and went around the side of the house. "Hey," she said. "Sorry, I was up the back." He stared. She was pleased. He stared at her tits. Because her nipples were sticking out from the cold water, and the singlet was damp. Not thin or damp enough to actually show, but damp so it stuck to her fairly well. He kept looking, and didn't seem to realize he was. Even leering he was cute. He had a slightly stunned expression. Probably wondering what was going on, she thought. She liked his expression. She liked the stare. She was hoping that meant this was going somewhere. She wondered if she should calm down a little. Slow down just a bit. She usually came on way too strong as soon as she opened her mouth, and she didn't want to scare him off before she even said a word. But then again, being pushy seemed to work for her. It had every other time she needed to get laid. "Hello," she said, and waved her hand in front her tits. Waved her hand, so he realized she knew where he was looking, but pulled her shoulders back at the same time, so they stuck out more. He looked embarrassed. "Sorry," he said. "What?" she said. "For taking your time getting here?" He just stood there, like he couldn't decide what to make of her. "Yeah?" she said. "That was all, right?" He grinned, after a moment, and seemed relieved. "Yeah," he said. "That. So the tractor won't start?" Bec nodded. "Where's Barry?" "On holiday. Down on the coast. I'm Liam. I'm helping out." "Oh," Bec said. "Yeah, okay. It's in here." She pointed to the sheds, and he started walking. She waited a moment before she followed, long enough she could look at his ass as they walked. It was a nice ass, and her looking seemed fair. At the tractor, she took a hair tie out her pocket and pulled her hair back, and he watched her tits as she did. So she was being fair back. And he looked, so he must still be interested, even if she was pushy. Liam looked inside the tractor's engine bay, and got Bec to try and start it, and then, possibly because of her tits, got her to hold things, and pass him tools, and by the time they finished she'd ended up underneath the tractor with him, holding the light so he could see, on her back, and as dirty as she'd been when he arrived. It was the starter motor, in the end. It had failed, somehow, and Liam couldn't see how but he had a spare, so he put the new one in. It took an hour, but the tractor started like it had never had a sulk that morning. Bec was horny. By the time they were done, she was horny enough she couldn't think clearly. This close to him, breathing in the smell of his body, bumping her hands against his as she passed him spanners, watching him glance at her and hoping he was thinking about her even as he worked, she was horny. She needed him. She needed a fuck. And he was probably about to pack up and go. She wondered what to do next. She wanted to make a pass, and she didn't really know how. She would probably come on too strong as soon as she opened her mouth, and put him off. She'd got awkward around people, living out here. Awkward enough that flirting wasn't really her thing. Not unless it was very confrontational flirting, just taking off her clothes and asking if he wanted her. She decided to do that. There was an old bathroom in the corner of the sheds. And she was greasy and sweaty and covered in dust from the floor. "Shit," she said. "I'm a mess." Liam nodded. He was packing up his tools. "I feel sticky. And oily." Liam glanced up. "Yeah," he said. "You're got some grease on your arm." "I'll bet." Bec wiped where he pointed, near her elbow, and her hand came away sticky. Liam grinned. "So I might just have a shower," Bec said. Liam looked at her, a bit puzzled, and nodded. Like he didn't understand why she'd say that to him. Bec stayed where she was, didn't go towards the bathroom. Liam kept looking at her. "Yeah," Bec said. Wondering if she should be doing this. "So I might, that was all." "Okay," Liam said. He looked around, found a clipboard. "Could you sign this? To say the work's done." Bec nodded, and took the pen, and signed without reading what she was signing. She held out the pen, and Liam took it back. "Yeah," she said. "So I'll have a shower." "Okay," Liam said. "Well, thanks for the help." Bec nodded, and hesitated for a moment, staying where she was. Liam put the clipboard in the side of his toolbox and started picking up spanners. "You can join me if you want," Bec said. "If you'd like to." Liam dropped a spanner with a clang. Then stood where he was, and didn't look at her. "Or not," Bec said, unsure what that meant. Liam still didn't answer. He picked up the spanner. Bec decided that meant no. It was a little disappointing, but not really. Not enough to actually hurt. She'd turned this into something bigger than it was in her head. There was no reason some visiting mechanic would fuck her, just because she asked him too. Especially when she hadn't even really asked him to. Not clearly. She turned around and went into the bathroom. She left the door open, half hoping he'd follow her. Not expecting him to, but hoping. Like some kind of fantasy in her mother's dirty books. He didn't. She watched the door. She ran the water, and undressed, and watched the door, but nothing. He still hadn't turned up by the time she'd washed her hair. Hadn't turned up, and hadn't even been near the door, as far as she could tell. She decided he wasn't going to come in. She hoped he hadn't actually just gone. Not wanting to fuck her was one thing, but leaving without a word was a bit rude. She stood there under the water, and listened, and couldn't hear anything from out in the shed. She decided he probably had gone. She was horny. A little embarrassed she'd been so blunt, but still horny. She reached down and rubbed herself quickly under the water. She got herself off in a couple of minutes, efficiently and boringly, in the shower, keeping quiet, exactly like she'd had to most of the times she'd come since she moved back home. She came, and stood under the water, breathing hard for a moment. She decided not to think about Liam any more. It was over, done with, and she shouldn't let herself care. She got out, and dried herself with the old hand-towel hanging beside the sink, and pulled on her underwear and top. They were a bit grubby, and the towel had been a bit dusty, but getting clean hadn't really been the point of the shower. She still had work to do. Wood to move. A day to get on with. She stood where she was, feeling disappointed. It was a nice day. There was a soft breeze, coming in gusts, rattling the dusty leaves in the creaking old gums around the yard. The rush of the wind and gurgling of the drain slowly emptying made enough noise that Bec couldn't hear well. Not enough to hear quiet footsteps. She didn't realize she wasn't alone until she turned around. Liam was standing there looking at her. "Um," Bec said, and held the towel up against herself. "Shit. You came." The towel was old and thin and not very big. She hadn't dried herself that well. Her hair was wet. Her skin was wet. She was wearing a singlet and underwear and nothing else, and she knew without looking the singlet was sticking to her, and the undies too, and they were old and thin and not very sexy. She really wasn't at her best. She worried for a moment, then saw Liam's face and decided he didn't seem to care. He probably wasn't noticing the clothes were old, because of the damp and thin. That made her feel better. "Sorry," Liam said. "Fuck, I..." Bec, surprised, still didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure how long he'd been there, and couldn't remember whether she'd actually looked over at the door in a while. Probably not before she'd started getting dressed, and maybe longer. Liam seemed to be trying not to look, which made her think he'd had a good gawp before she realized he was there. From his face, from his embarrassment, she thought he had. Liam was embarrassed. Bec started to feel embarrassed too. The whole thing suddenly felt horribly awkward, and not sexy at all. Liam wasn't looking at Bec. He was looking around, back out into the shed. Bec felt a bit sorry for him. Almost a bit sorry he'd come in at all. "Shit," Liam said. "I'm sorry. I thought you were serious." "No," Bec said. "I was. I am. Come in." He looked at her for a moment. "Come on," she said, and dropped the towel, and went over to him. She wanted to kiss him. She would have kissed him. She changed her mind at the last minute. He was nervous, and cute, and she needed this a lot. She really only had one chance. She knelt down, and undid his jeans. He watched her without saying a word. She took his cock out, and held it, swelling, in her hand, and he didn't move. She decided she'd done the right thing. She leaned forward and put him in her mouth. He tasted a little sweaty. A little more man than if he'd just had a shower. Not unpleasant, just that he'd been working. She didn't mind. She quite liked it. She sucked him, sucked the hard hot shape of him in her mouth, and breathed in the smell of his body. It wasn't the first time she'd blown a guy out in the sheds, but it was the first in a while. She knelt there, and sucked, and after a moment he started stroking the top of her head. A little after that he bent, and pulled her singlet up, and seemed to be trying to get it off her without taking his cock out her mouth. She stopped and pulled it over her head and kept going, and he started playing with her tits. He didn't squeeze, and he didn't pinch. He just stroked, and held her, and his touch was nice enough that just having her tits groped turned her on again. That, and wanting him for an hour, and thinking this through a dozen times before they started. She sucked, and stroked the base of him in her hands, and realized he was getting close, fairly quickly. His taste changed, and he swelled a little in her mouth. "Hey," he said. "I'm..." "Come," she said. "We can't fuck, unless you've got condom." He looked like he'd only just thought of that, then shook his head. "Come," she said. "In my mouth." Saying it seemed to be enough. His balls twitched and he spurted against her tongue, spurted suddenly enough she jumped before she swallowed. He tasted like salt and warmth and man, and there was a lot. She had to swallow once, then again, and it still spilled and dripped onto her hand. He didn't move, kept standing, his eyes closed, his cock twitching in her mouth. Like he was enjoying her, or the idea of her, so she stayed where she was, sucking gently, trying to guess how hard to suck, and how much to move her mouth, without making him wince. After a moment he pulled her up, and kissed her even while she was wiping him off her lips. "Hold on," she said, but he kissed her again, pushing his tongue into her mouth. She decided he didn't care, and kissed back. His hands slid down her back, went inside her underwear, trying to finger her from behind. Hers were on his chest, feeling him all hard and warm and actually there, wanting her. He looked around, then said, "Over here." He pushed her backwards onto a pallet of bagged stock feed that was beside the bathroom door. Pushed gently, holding her as they fell, but pushing all the same. He tugged her underwear down, tugged hard enough she thought they might rip, then knelt, bent, and started licking her. Just like that. He was good. He was what she needed. She grabbed his hand and pulled his fingers inside herself, and held his head, and pushed up at his mouth with her hips, and couldn't think for how perfect it was. He licked her well. He licked her like he enjoyed it, and wanted it, and was realizing he wanted the taste of her as he did it, the same way she'd realized she missed the taste of a man, while she had him in her mouth. He licked her like he wanted her, and needed her, and stayed there, his tongue on her, his fingers inside her, until she came. Then he slid up and started kissing her again. Kissing her well, tasting of her. Kissing her so she knew they weren't finished, and so she wanted to keep going too, desperately. His cock was between them, still hard, and not using it seemed to be a waste. Bec hesitated. She knew this was stupid, but she decided she didn't care. She reached down, and pulled it against herself, into herself. He went still. "Fuck me," she whispered, into his mouth. "Don't come inside me." That seemed to be enough. He started moving. He was thick and hot inside her, hard again just from going down on her. She liked that. She liked that he wanted her like she wanted him. He was hot inside her, pushing into her until she couldn't think. She needed this. She needed it more than she could stand. She closed her eyes for a while, and just felt him against her, wetly inside her, his body over her, the strength in his arms as he held himself up. She opened her eyes, and watched him fuck. He stopped sometimes, like he needed to count backwards. From his face she thought he wasn't used to bareback and she felt pretty good. For her he definitely felt good. He was kneeling, half standing, was pushing down into her, and there was something about the pressing and the downwards and the angle of her hips that was breathtakingly good. She lifted up one leg, hooked it over his hip. She usually felt stupid fucking with her feet in the air, like it was undignified or something. This time she didn't care. When she lifted up her knee, something inside her moved. He was pressing against a different part of her. She lifted up her other foot, and he started puffing into her neck and groaning like it worked for him too. "Wait," she whispered. "Not yet." She wasn't sure if he heard. Usually she didn't come just from sex, but she was feeling close. She wanted to try. "Wait," she said, and he nodded a little, but kept his face against her neck. He managed a while longer, but from how soon and much he'd come in her mouth, she was pretty sure it had been a while for him and hadn't been expecting him to last. "I can't much longer," he said after a while. "That's cool," she said, not really disappointed. "Go." She expected him to come inside her, had forgotten he wasn't going to. Just as she remembered, just as she started to say, "Wait," to remind him, he pulled out of her and wanked onto her tits. She'd opened her mouth, for some reason had thought he would finish there, but he'd aimed for her tits. Maybe he just hadn't made it. She lay there as he came, wondered what she was doing, trying to get men she didn't know to come on her face. It was kind of degrading. She didn't really care. He came on her, his semen hot on her skin, wet as it landed. As he was finishing, while he was still coming, Liam went back to kissing her. Kissing as he held himself and came between them. He kept kissing, afterwards. Left his cock between them, all hard and hot and feeling like a promise of more because it didn't go down. Not even after his second time. "Fuck," Liam panted into her mouth. "Oh fuck." He was trying to kiss her, and breathe too, so she pushed his face away until he caught his breath. He licked her neck. He licked her tits, where his semen had landed. It felt quite nice. The heat of him cooling, the wetness of his tongue on her skin. It felt nice, but she wondered why he was doing that. Maybe he didn't realize. Being Home He licked down her tummy, and licked her leg, and then licked across her mound, down her lips, started going down on her again. He ate her out, until she came again. She came easily. He made her come easily. She was a little surprised, as she finished. Not that she had trouble getting off from head, but it usually wasn't that easy. It had been a while, she supposed. She was coming a lot, and coming quickly, for sex with someone she didn't know. Normally it took a few times to click with someone, but Liam seemed to understand her, to find the right places, to know just the right speed and pressure without her needing to say, or push him down, or move him where she needed. She lay there, worn out. She reached down, and felt his cock, and this time he'd gone soft. She opened her eyes and wondered if she should ask. Then decided she would. "We're done?" she said. "I think so." "We could again." He looked almost surprised. "Only if you want to." "I'm good," she said. "I'm really fucking good." Liam grinned, and leaned back on the sacks beside her legs. Bec sat up, still breathing hard, dusty from rubbing against from the dirty sacks. Her hair had probably turned into mud, and there were smudges of wet dust on her arms. She looked at Liam, and he didn't seem to want to look back. He had stood up, was pulling up his jeans, fiddling with his belt, almost like he was embarrassed now they'd finished. "You don't need to say anything," Bec said. He nodded. "That was good," she said. "That was really fucking good. But it doesn't need to be anything more than that. You don't need to talk to me, or hug me, or whatever." "Thanks," he said. "Yeah," she said. "No worries." She pulled on her clothes, still damp enough the cotton stuck to her skin. Liam went and picked up his toolbox and took it out to his truck. Bec followed, and stood beside it with him. "Hey," she said. "Come back if you want." Liam nodded. "Tonight," she said. "If you want." "I might have to work a bit late. If I run out of time. To make up for this." "Whenever you finish," she said. "It's just me here. Wake me up if it's late." He nodded. "Will you?" she said, wanting to be sure. "Yeah." "You promise?" Liam nodded. He stood there, like he was trying to decide if he should, then kissed Bec. Once, polite, and got in his truck and drove away. * Bec moved some sheep that had started to run out of pasture, and cut more wood. She was happy and tired and had just had good sex. She couldn't be bothered doing that much. In the middle of the afternoon, earlier than normal, she decided she'd done enough. She went inside and had a shower, then sat out on the porch with a beer for a while, where it was cooler, and watched the trees move in the breeze. She wondered if Liam would turn up, or if he'd just fuck her and disappear, before anything got complicated. She wondered if she should have made it clearer that she wasn't complicated, and there was no downside for him in coming back. She decided should have been clearer. She would be next time. She sat, and thought about Liam. After a while she slid her hand into her jeans and made herself come, sitting there. She was getting off a lot, and still wanting more. She was surprising herself. When it got dark she went inside. * Liam turned up an hour later. Evening, but not late. Bec heard the truck, and put the outside lights on to check it was him. Then she opened the front door naked, and stood there grinning. He grinned back. He had a twelve-pack of beer and three boxes of different kinds of condoms. "Hi," he said. "Hey." Liam held out the condoms. "I didn't know what you liked." "Liked," she said, surprised. "I don't care." She took them and looked at the boxes. "Any'll do." She looked for a moment longer, then threw them back outside, past him, out into the darkness on the lawn. "Or none," she said. Liam looked at her, thinking. "It's not like it really matters, is it?" she said. He looked unsure. "I wanted to..." he said. "You know. Actual sex." "So do," Bec said. "I do too." They looked at each other. "You're sure?" Liam said. "It's not like it matters now." Liam nodded. "You know I'm not wearing anything, right?" Bec said. "I know." "So are you going to do anything about it?" He fucked her doggy, on the hallway floor, so her knees skidded on the polish and almost hurt, enough she had to grab his shirt and kneel on that. She fucked him back, and sobbed and gasped, and tried not to make so much noise they disturbed the dogs and started them barking. They didn't, but by the time they moved and went through to the bedroom, she didn't really care. * Bec liked watching men not quite come inside her. When they did, but were trying not to, and so horny they fucked it up. So she felt the first spurt inside, before they pulled out, all panicky, grabbing themselves, sprayed it around the room in a fluster, not caring where it went. She liked turning men on so much they couldn't get their timing right, and she liked their faces when they got to the point they forgot everything except being inside her, and how good fucking felt. Liam almost came like that. Not quite losing control, but almost. He came a little bit inside her, then pulled out and finished kneeling over her, so it shot up over her tummy. She lay there grinning. "You can inside," she said. "I'm fine." He shook his head, and kissed her. Kissed her, and slid back down her, and started eating her out. "Hold on," she said, still not sure if he cared about getting semen in his mouth. "I can go wipe or something." He kept licking. She was almost sure she could feel semen next to his tongue. "You don't have to do that," she said. "I don't care," he said, his mouth against her. She felt his lips move, tingling, as he spoke, felt his hand still moving inside her. "You don't have to," she said. "Do you want me to?" She shrugged. "Do you mind if I do?" "Not really," she said. He grinned, and licked the semen on her tummy, then went back to eating her out. She wasn't sure what to think. No-one had ever done that to her before. It wasn't that she liked it or didn't like it, especially, but she liked him not caring. She liked not having to stop, and that he wasn't fussy. The same as she liked not having to stop if she'd just blown someone and then wanted to kiss right away. It was convenient, that he didn't mind. He went down on her, and he was as good as he had been earlier. She came. She was surprised she still was. That she wasn't worn out. They lay there for a while, and Liam asked if she had anything to drink, and she got him a beer, and water too, because she was feeling thirsty, like they'd been exercising a lot. They didn't really talk. They didn't have much to say, Bec supposed. They didn't know each other. They lay beside each other, and sipped, and panted, and that was enough. After a while Bec said, "I don't want anything from you except sex, okay?" "All right." "Just so you know. Just so you don't get the wrong idea." "Okay." "You can stay, though. Sleep here. If you want. Just don't think it means anything." "I don't," he said. Bec nodded, and decided that was enough. She didn't want to be cold, or mean, she just wanted to be clear. Liam got up and went out into the hall. She heard the bathroom door close. She lay there for a while, feeling lazy and happy, enjoying having had too much sex. She felt sleepy. Liam came back to bed and put his arm around her. This was what she missed, she realized, being single. The warmth in bed at night and the company. She wondered if she'd been lonely here, on her own, with her parents away, and the sex had just been a reason to make Liam stay. It was almost like that, she thought, but not like that at all. After a while she went to sleep, and it was nice being held while she did. * Bec woke up at dawn, when she normally did, as the light around the curtains was turning pale and grey and the cockatoos were starting up outside. She felt something wet and soft against her, lapping on her. She felt a mouth, a sucking on her pussy, someone between her legs. She reached down, sleepy and confused, and found a head. She was on her side, still barely awake. Liam was having to stretch to reach her. One of her legs was over his arm, and he was tipping her slightly to reach. No-one had ever managed to do that to her before, to give her head without waking her up as they got started. She was impressed. She lay there for a while pretending to be asleep. Just to see what he'd do. He kept licking gently, seemed to be trying to roll her onto her back with a faint pressure, turning her without waking her. "How the fuck," she said eventually, "Did you get down there without waking me up?" "Slowly." She laughed, and pulled him up, kissed him. Kissed the taste of herself off his chin. "Good morning," she said, and pushed him back down. She stayed as she was, because it was comfortable and she was half asleep. He kept licking gently, like he was still waking up too, not trying very hard to get her off just yet. After a while, she reached down, patted the sheets, felt around for him, for his cock. "I want you inside me," she said, her hand around him. She pulled him up behind herself, so they could fuck side-by-side, curled together, without her moving much, all lazy and comfortable and slow. After a while, not turning, still looking over at the wall in front of her, she said, "Come inside me." He did. Almost like her telling him to turned him on. He came inside her, and filled her with himself, and she felt him finish and thought they were done. He rolled her onto her back and licked her, surprising her. Licked her as she lay there all sticky, pushing his tongue inside her. "You don't have to," she said. "You didn't," he said. "I know," she said. "But I did before. Last night." "But you didn't now." "I usually don't. Not from sex." "So I'll do this," he said. "And then you will." "Yeah," she said, wondering why she was bothering to argue. "Okay." She lay there, and felt him, and fairly soon she came. It was good. It was thoughtful. It was a nice way to start the day. * "How long are you around?" Bec said, lying in bed, watching as he got dressed. He'd said last night he was from Wagga, and only here to fill in during Barry's holiday. "End of the week. Two more days." Bec thought about that. It was fairly soon. "Come back tonight if you want," she said. He pulled on his jeans and then sat on the side of the bed, holding his shirt, looking at her. Looking all serious. "You don't have to," she said. "Only if you want to." "I want to," he said, then stopped. Bec waited. She didn't really mind one way or another. She'd already got laid, had got it out her system. She wouldn't mind having sex again, later, but not so much she cared, right now. "I'm with someone," he said. "In a relationship." Bec wasn't sure what to say. "Then it's kind of a shitty thing to do, isn't it? Being here with me?" "Yeah," he said, and actually looked like he meant it. "I'm sorry, just the way you came after me yesterday." Bec nodded. "If you don't want me to come back, that's cool," he said. "I understand why." "I don't give a shit." He seemed surprised. "It's a shitty thing to do to her," Bec said. "Not to me. I don't care." He looked at her, thinking. "I mean yeah," Bec said. "You're not a nice person, but it's not like I'm trying you out for the long term, you know what I mean." He nodded. "It wouldn't really have worked with you in Wagga and me here, would it?" "I suppose not." "So come back," Bec said. "If you want to. It's just sex. I don't care." He nodded, and pulled on his shirt, and leaned over to kiss her and left. He took a while at the door, getting his boots on, and then she heard him drive away. * Liam came back. He drove up that night, and kissed Bec in the hallway, then pulled her into the lounge-room, onto the sofa, to fuck her. Then again on the kitchen bench when she went to get water, and then on the floor when she slipped and fell over. Afterwards, they sat at the kitchen table, breathing hard, and Bec decided she should be a little more hospitable. "Want something to eat?" she said. "Yeah, okay." She looked in the cupboard. She didn't have much around. In the end she made fried eggs and toast. She had chooks outside, and bread in the freezer, and she'd forgotten to go to the shop. She didn't normally bother eating properly when she was the only one there. Her mother was obsessed with sensible eating the rest of the time, enough she could do with a few days of sandwiches and fry-up. They sat at the table and ate. Bec stayed naked, even though she'd had to be careful frying. Liam kept looking at her whenever she sat around naked. She was naked, and he'd gone and got his jeans and pulled them back on, and she was looking back at him anyway. He was all hard muscle and lean arms and skin stained with grease and oil. She'd started off being the picture on the workshop wall, she thought, but now he was too, a little bit. She'd had so much sex lately that she felt chafed a bit, inside. She had sore legs, from holding them apart too long. She had hickeys on her neck and on one of her breasts. She had hickeys for the first time in years. Bec thought about this, about what she was doing. She thought about Liam's real life, and wondered why he was here. "What's she like?" Bec said suddenly, a bit perversely. "Who." "You're girlfriend?" He looked at her for a while, thinking. Like he didn't know what to say. Bec was curious, but was also making trouble, just a little. "You don't have to tell me if its weird," she said. "It's not that," Liam said. "So what's she like?" He shrugged. "Nice. Kind to people." Bec nodded. "Wants kids," Liam said. "The usual." "I don't," Bec said. "Yeah?" Bec nodded. "I probably have to, because of this place. I have to make someone to pass it on to. But I don't really want to." Liam ate, and looked at her for a while, like he was thinking. "Hey," he said. "The sex. You're not..." "Not what?" she said, then realized. "Don't be an asshole. I'm on the pill. I just like how it feels." "Sorry." "Seriously?" Bec said. "I was just asking." "But seriously?" "I don't know you very well," he said. "I was just asking." Bec nodded, and realized it was true. "Maybe we shouldn't talk," she said, after a while. "Why's that?" "So we don't fight by mistake." He seemed surprised. "I'm serious," she said. "This is good. I want what this is. But you're right. I hardly know you. Maybe if we talk too much, we'll just fight." "What would we do instead?" Liam said. Bec grinned. "Yeah," Liam said. "Okay." * The next morning, after more sex, when Liam left, Bec went outside naked and kissed him goodbye. She stood on the front porch, in the cool morning air, and watched him go. He almost drove into the gatepost watching her in the mirror. She'd never been out here naked before. Not this close to the house. She'd used to sunbathe topless when she was fifteen, a long way up the back where no-one would catch her, but she'd never just walked around naked before. It actually felt quite nice. Soft air on skin that had just felt someone's mouth, and coolness drying her sweat. She stepped off the porch, and went a few steps down the path. Cockatoos sung from the trees. No-one was going to catch her. No-one was around. She'd hear any cars out on the road, and have plenty of time to get back inside. It felt brave, and daring, and oddly free. She stood for a while, looking around, and then ran back inside. * Bec was in the bath when Liam turned up that night. He called out at the front door, came into the bathroom when she shouted back. He stopped, and looked at her, then got undressed and climbed into the bath too. Bec thought he might pull her out, or get all horny, but he just massaged her feet and rubbed her with his toe until she was the one who got horny and let the water out and dragged him through to the bedroom. Afterwards, after the first time, Bec lay on her back with Liam still between her legs. Her breathing was fast, and she was sweaty, and he was still hard enough to stay inside her and not slip out. "Hey," she said. "I was thinking. After you finish here, after you go back home..." He looked at her. "You don't need to phone me or anything, you don't need to stay in touch, but if you're ever back this way, and you want to, come and see me." "Okay." "Just wear pants. My parents might be around." He grinned. "And don't say you're here to fuck their daughter. Just ask for me." He nodded again. "If I do, I will." Which wasn't the same as he definitely would, Bec noticed. That put her in a slightly bad mood. She got up, and went and got water, and he followed her and asked what was wrong. "Nothing," she said, but he wouldn't leave it alone. He kept asking. Instead of talking, she led him outside and they had sex on rug on the front lawn. She started off looking up at the stars, past his head, feeling awed and touched by the brilliance of the night sky. After a while she decided that fucking outside wasn't really romantic, it was just dirty, so she turned over so they could fuck doggy, and she knelt there and felt him inside her, and in the end she actually came, while the frogs croaked and the possums rustled in the trees and Liam groaned trying not to finish before her. Afterwards, as he took his turn, she realized she was contented again. She wasn't sure why a casual fling was getting her so moody. * They went back inside, and got into bed, and Bec thought about odd moods, and Liam, and what he was going back to when he went back to his life. She was a little curious. She wanted to know more about him. "Would your girlfriend mind if she found out?" she said. Liam looked at her for a while. "He might." "Ah," Bec said. "What?" She rolled over to look at Liam. "He," Liam said. "My boyfriend. He might, yes." Bec wasn't sure what to think. First that Liam couldn't be gay, since he'd just been fucking her. Second that it made sense, because he was way too hot for a tractor mechanic otherwise. Third that she'd been letting him bareback her, and come inside her, and gay guys had more diseases. She stopped when she thought that. She was a bigot. She knew she was a bigot. She hated that she'd thought that, but she was worried. "Should I have let you come inside me?" she said. "How do you mean? Because my partner's a man?" Bec shrugged. She felt bad, but she didn't want to back down and say it was okay when it wasn't. "I don't have anything," Liam said. "Okay." "I don't." Liam was looking annoyed. Annoyed enough Bec felt guilty. "Hey," she said. "Sorry. I didn't mean... I didn't know what to think. That just came out." "You fuck without condoms too," he said. "Yeah, I know." "You could have anything." "I know. I'm sorry." Bec sat up and hugged her knees. They both stayed where they were for a while, quiet. Bec started wondering how gay Liam was. Whether somehow she'd changed his mind. She really was a redneck, she told herself. She was a horrible person. He was bi. Of course he was bi. It was only her surprise that made her take so long to realize. "It mustn't be easy," she said, trying to make up for asking about diseases. "In Wagga." "It's fine." "In a small town?" "How's it being a slut in a place like this?" Being Home "Hey," she said, and looked at him. He was grinning. "Slut in a good way," he said. "You know what I mean." "I do," she said. "Homo. But don't call me that." He kept grinning. "I mean it," Bec said. "And I'm really sorry. I wasn't thinking, and I was a bitch. I was just surprised, that's all." "Surprised and a homophobe." "Yeah, I guess." Bec sat there for a while, wondering about the boyfriend. Wondering why Liam was here with her. "I have to ask," she said. "It's killing me not to." "Ask what?" "What's going on? He's gay and you're not? You like to sneak away for a little lady parts on the side? Or what?" "I'm me. He's him. I shouldn't be cheating." "But you are." "You hit on me pretty strongly." "Yeah," Bec said. "But, um, your girlfriend is a dude." "Yes he is. Do we need to keep talking about it?" Bec sat there for a while, then said, "Nope." Silence. "Do you want to bang me in the ass?" Bec said. "I mean, just because..." Liam slid off the bed, and reached for his jeans. "Shit," Bec said. "I was joking." He stopped. "Sorry," she said. "I'm really sorry. Don't go." "Stop it." "I promise." He lay back down beside her. "One last thing," Bec said. "Just one. Then I'll shut up." Liam looked at her. "Please?" "Go on." "How are my blowjobs compared to a gay dude? I mean, am I even in the same league..." "You're good. You're better." "Really?" "He doesn't like to. So yeah, any interest at all... You're better." "Oh," she said, and thought how the world really was the same everywhere. "Fuck. That's rough." "Yeah." "That's awful. It sucks." He grinned at her. "Sorry. But still. I can see why you're here." "Yeah," he said. "Um. Want one?" He lay there for a while, looking at her. "Just if it helps?" Bec said. "Please," Liam said, and lay back down. * The next morning was the last morning before Liam went home. Bec kissed him goodbye and wondered if he'd be back. After last night, he might not want to. Or he might just want to get home, back to his real life. It might seemed like too much trouble, coming back to the farm, just to say goodbye to her. Bec kissed him goodbye, and carefully didn't check. She didn't ask if she'd see him later, just kissed him and let him go, in case he wanted to quietly slip away. He came back sooner than she'd thought. He phoned, and said he was going to a job on another farm near hers, did she want him to stop by. She said yes. Bec was outside, loading fencing wire into the pickup truck, when he arrived. He got out his truck, and picked up one of bales, and carried it over to her. "You don't need to help," she said. "I wasn't," he said, but carried the rest of the wire anyway. When they were done, he kissed her neck, and stood behind her, with his hands on her hips. It felt nice. It felt almost affectionate, like they were a couple. She didn't want to be a couple. She didn't want anything remotely like that. "What're you doing?" she said. Almost sharply. Maybe he felt it too. Maybe he understood why she had snapped. He put his hand down her jeans, and fingered her for a moment, then undid them, and pulled them down, and fucked her leaning on the back of her truck. Bec felt bare, and full, and the sun was warm on her skin, and the wind blew at her hair, and they were just there, out in the yards, where anyone who came along would see them. She felt almost disinterested. She felt almost like she was going through motions, and that moment of actual affection had spoiled the sex. He came, and started to kneel down behind her, and she said, "Don't worry," and turned around. "You didn't," Liam said, like it was obvious that he had to. "So I will." Maybe it was obvious to gay men. "That isn't obvious," Bec said. "What?" He looked confused. "I'm fine," she said, and tugged her jeans up. "Later. I have shit I need to do right now." He looked up at her a moment longer. "Later," she said. "Really." Liam stood up. He looked almost hurt, and Bec felt a little bad. "Sorry," she said. "Don't worry." "You'll come back later?" Bec said. She carefully hadn't asked that morning, but he'd turned up anyway. Now she was going to ask, because it was the last night, and she wanted to know, and now they were having some kind of fight. Whatever happened, she did actually want to say goodbye to him. "Will you?" she said. Liam nodded. "You actually will?" she said. "You won't just disappear?" "Of course I will. But I should go." She kissed him, and he drove away. She stood, and watched him, and she could feel him dripping out of her. She went back to loading fencing equipment into her truck, and felt him drip as she did. She liked that little reminder of what they'd done, sliding down the inside of her leg. She thought about Liam as she worked, and decided she wasn't unhappy it was ending. She had tonight, and that would still be fun, but any more might start wearing her down. She wasn't someone who could deal with too much being a couple, too soon. She did want to say goodbye, though. * Bec had wondered what they should do that night, how they should mark Liam's departure. No matter what, that night was the end of it, and Bec wasn't sure how to say goodbye. She sat on the front steps, in the darkness, and waited for Liam to turn up. He did, a little later than usual, and seemed surprised to see her waiting there. "What's up?" he said. "You're going tomorrow." "I am." "I don't think I'll see you again," she said. "It feels like I won't." He didn't answer. "So I won't?" she said, making sure. "I don't think so," he said, after a moment. "No." "You don't regret this, though?" He was quiet again. "I don't want you to regret this," Bec said. "I don't want to have caused trouble." "I don't regret it." "But you're looking forward to being home?" He looked at her, then said, "Yeah." "Will you miss me?" "You're in an odd mood." "I know. Will you?" "I think so, yeah." "I'll miss you." Liam sat down next to her. "We don't have to have sex," he said. "If you'd rather not." Bec didn't answer. "I don't even have to come inside," Liam said. "If you'd rather I just go." "No," Bec said. "Don't go." "Well, we don't have to have sex. If you'd rather not." "We should, though, shouldn't we? We should want to. I should want to. Since I'll never see you again." "I suppose." "It feels weird, though, doesn't it?" Bec said. "It feels like something's changed." Liam nodded. "Come on," Bec said, after a while. "Come inside. We should." They did, but it wasn't the same. It was dull, almost routine. As if somehow they'd become a couple, only pleasing each other by habit. As if he was already gone, in his heart, already back home and fucking like he did there, fucking someone he loved, and she was only there in his mind. She wondered if that would happen. She wondered if he'd remember her, and think about her, once he was at home. She wondered if she should ask. She decided not. Decided it was mean to interfere. She lay there, and looked up at him, watching him fuck her, missing him a little already. He had his eyes closed. He wasn't really there. This was a chore. She wanted it over with. She didn't dislike Liam and didn't not want to have sex with him, she just didn't want to like this. "I'm close," she said. He opened his eyes. "I'm close," she said. "I'm almost there. You should if you need to." He seemed to be trying to decide if she was lying. She faked, after a moment. She pretended to come, just so he could finish too. And so he wouldn't try and go down on her once he was finished. She didn't really know why that mattered, but for some reason it did. She didn't want head from him when he'd already gone home, in his mind. They talked for a while, afterwards, about living in small towns and what he did for work, talked more and better than they ever had before. It was friendly, and Bec liked it. Then they slept, and that seemed to be right. Sleeping the last night together seemed to fit. Bec woke up in the night, and lay for a while, as Liam slept, listening to him breathe. He was holding her, had his arm around her, and it struck her that this was somehow nicer, more intimate, than their last sex had been. As if being held while she slept was more personal than having him inside her body. She thought about that, and decided it almost made sense. She lay awake, and felt him against her, and decided she'd miss that more than anything else, once he was gone. She lay, and tried to make the most of it, but after a while, tired, she went back to sleep. In the morning, Liam left quietly. He got out of bed, and started dressing, and Bec was fairly sure he planned to slip away without saying goodbye. She let him go. She faked again. She lay there and feigned sleep and let him go without a fuss. It would be just too complicated and awkward to do anything else. She'd had fun, and she thought he had too, but she didn't want to make it unpleasant for him. She didn't want complicated goodbyes, and false promises, and telling each other this meant more than it had. She thought he stopped at the door and looked back at her, but she wasn't sure. He was still for a moment, just before he went, and might have been looking, but he might just have been checking for his keys. She wanted to think he was looking, but she didn't really think so. It was probably the keys. He was gone already. He was gone in his head, was already at home. He wasn't hers any more, and never had been. She kept her eyes closed, and pretended to be asleep until she heard his truck door slam outside. Then she got up, and moved the curtain aside, and watched him drive away in the cool grey dawn.