91 comments/ 268752 views/ 294 favorites Life Raft By: Michael_Butterfield Author's Note: This is the first story I've submitted to Literotica, though by no means the first I've written. Life Raft begins by introducing the characters, setting and circumstances that lead to the scenes that we all come here for. Just like in real life, the sex is always much better when you're invested in the story. * By noon of what would turn out to be the most amazing day of my life, I was stuck in the passenger seat of my own car, wishing fervently that I'd just stayed in bed. It seemed like we'd been trapped in this slow-moving line of vehicles forever, but at last we had a straight section of road and, evidently, a break in the oncoming traffic at the same time. Alex stabbed my Ford into second and put the hammer down as the last of the oncoming batch went by. Five hundred and forty supercharged ponies screamed their freedom as we darted across the centerline and began to pass the boat-towing motorhome and triple-trailer semi that had kept us bottled up for the last ten minutes. I immediately realized that Alex' idea of a break in traffic was a bit different than mine. My reaction was instinctive and visceral. "Oh shit!" The distinctive grill of an oncoming Kenworth was approaching quickly. I didn't think there was any way we were going to make it. Alex' move was foolhardy, and in just about any other car would have gotten us killed, but we were picking up speed at a nearly ludicrous rate. He speed-shifted into third as the tachometer hit redline and the meaty rear tires chirped loudly. We were doing better than a hundred and ten when he whipped it back into our lane, air horns blasting at us from both trucks, but the Kenworth was still fifty yards away. Alex dumped the throttle and we eased back down a bit closer to the double nickel speed limit. I wanted to scream at him to pull over and let me drive, but I didn't. That wasn't the kind of guy I was. He'd made the pass successfully and despite my displeasure, I had to admit that it was good to be moving at better-than-bicycle speeds again. "Alex, could you please be a little more careful?" was about the best I could do. "Dude, take a pill. That's the way a car like this should be driven every now and then and besides, you're the one that's got his panties in a wad about getting back in time." He did have a point, but I was regretting this whole deal more and more by the minute. My workday schedule normally had me dragging out of bed at five in the morning so I could be in the office by six. I liked to sleep in a bit on Saturday mornings, though, sometimes until eight -- an act of indolence that would have scandalized my farming parents and grandparents. This morning I'd been up at seven-thirty and had been downright leisurely about cooking breakfast, cleaning, and reading the morning paper. My next order of business was to hit the gym for an hour or so, then go to the office and spend the afternoon doing market research. I was just rounding up my gym bag when my phone rang. "Sean! How's it goin'?" "Hey Alex. Long time, no hear." Alex and I had hired on at Jensen Securities right out of college two years before and we'd been casual friends, but he'd left six months ago and joined another investment firm, claiming they had better long term prospects. I'd had my doubts about that, and rumor had it that his departure hadn't been voluntary. "Dude, I'm thinking of going tubing through the canyon today," he said. "You wanna come along?" "Uh, I've never tubed." "Seriously? Then you've gotta do it. The temperature's gonna be perfect and the river's always wall-to-wall with hot babes. They're ripe and it's time you started doing a little picking." "Oh, I don't know that I'm ready to get back out there." It was my stock excuse. "Come on, Sean. It's been like a year, right?" I could have told him off the top of my head that it had actually been one year, six months, fourteen days and eleven hours, but who was counting? Still, while I'd had zero intention of ever getting back out on the dating scene, I'd known that I was spending too much time alone. It might actually be nice to get outside and be around some people who didn't obsess about derivatives and P/E ratios. "Well, I suppose if I went with you I could go into the office tomorrow. What would I need to bring?" "I've got a floating cooler, so you'd just need your suit, flip flops and a tube. We can pick up some beer and ice on the way there." "Hmm, I have the other stuff, but not a tube. I've got an inflatable raft, though. Do people use those up on the river?" "Yeah, sure. I'll be in a tube, but you see a ton of rafts there too." I looked over at the readout on the microwave. "Look, it's already after nine. I've heard it's like a two-hour drive and you want to be on the river before the heat of the day." "Well, I was at a party until pretty late last night, so I just dragged out. Not to worry, though. There are people going down the river all day long and it'll be cool enough since we'll be in the water." It suddenly occurred to me that I had another issue. "Alex, I've got a six-thirty tee time with some guys from work tonight. I'd have to be back for that." "No problem. The trip down the river only takes two hours. We'd be back in plenty of time." I ran the numbers in my head. Assuming we could be out of town by ten, four total hours of driving and two hours on the river would have us back by four, leaving me time to get ready, plus a two hour cushion. Against my better judgment, I decided to do it. "Well, okay Alex, I'm in. I should be able to round up my stuff by the time you get over here." "Look Sean, I'll, uh, buy the beer if you drive." Wow, when he'd asked if I wanted to "come along" I'd just assumed he was driving. "We'd have a lot more room for your tube and cooler in your Cherokee." "True, but it's in the shop with a blown transmission." Big surprise. I'd advised him not to shoehorn that hot rod V8 into his ancient Jeep without beefing up the tranny, but he'd thought I was just being my usual over-cautious self. Of course I didn't remind him that I'd told him so. "Gee, that stinks," I said instead. I was already wishing I'd said no to the whole thing, but I didn't want to back out after having already said yes. "Okay, I'll pack my stuff and swing by your place in a few." "Thanks dude. Don't worry, it's gonna be great." When I arrived, Alex was only just starting to round up his gear and we had to try five different ways before we figured out how to wedge his fully inflated tube and cooler into my car. By the time we gotten the beer and ice from the liquor store, it was after ten-thirty. Kiss thirty minutes of my cushion goodbye. Alex damn near begged to drive, and while I didn't particularly relish the idea of being relegated to passenger status, I couldn't think of a reason to tell him no without being rude. We were still in town when Alex reached into the back seat at a stoplight and grabbed a beer out of the cooler. "There's an open container law in this state," I reminded him. "Sure, but you've got tinted windows. Who's gonna see?" I gathered up my nerve and did my best to stand up for myself. "Look, since I started driving this car I've been pulled over four times. Cops see the logo and racing stripes and they look for any excuse to get a closer look. The last thing you need is to have them smell beer on your breath and find empties in the footwell." I gave him a look that tried to reinforce that I was serious. "Jeez, what a party pooper," he grumbled, tossing the beer back in the cooler. I was reminded again of why I hadn't associated with Alex much recently. The standard way to do this, Alex explained on the drive up, was to drop all the gear at the launch point, have someone drive the vehicle down to the bottom and then hitch a ride back up to the top. That way the tubers could get straight into their vehicle and leave just as soon as they got out of the river. I hadn't factored that into my calculations. There went another thirty minutes of my cushion. Not being willing to let him drive the Mustang without adult supervision, I told him I'd take on the parking and hitchhiking duties. The launch point wasn't exactly buzzing when we arrived and I began to suspect that Alex' assurances that there would be plenty of company later in the day may have been a bit exaggerated. There was a group of five girls ready to get in, though, looking like they were ready for their driver to return from the landing area. Then, as we got out, an Escalade pulled up and disgorged six girls and guys. I watched surreptitiously and was able to tell that they were here as couples. My heart lurched a little. I'd have been a lot happier to have been here with Amanda instead of Alex. That wasn't ever going to happen, though, so I got back to work. We quickly unloaded our gear. I unpacked my raft and threw the bag back in the hatch. Then I pulled out my big, double-action hand pump and handed it to Alex. "Would you mind?" I asked hesitantly. "You want me to blow up your raft?" he asked, seemingly shocked at my presumptuousness. "Well, it would mean that we could leave sooner when I get back." I felt like I was pushing it, but I really wanted to make my tee time. "Well, uh..." He glanced over at the girls who were hauling their stuff down to the water. I noticed that they were really young, maybe not technically jail bait, but high school seniors or college freshmen at best. "I was gonna give those girls a hand first, but after that, sure, I can do the raft." "Great. Just lay it out flat first and don't over inflate it. I'll top it off when I get back." "Sure thing. I'll just blow it up as hard as your dick gets, then, when you get back, you can get it as hard as mine." Ouch. I was tired of his endless cock talk. We got everything in a neat pile at the edge of the parking area, then I hopped back in the car. I was about to fire up the beast when I remembered the item I'd tossed into my cup holder. I got out and handed it to Alex. "What's this?" he asked. "It's the adapter that lets the pump's hose hook up to the raft. You'll need it." "Gotcha." He stuffed it into the pocket of his cutoffs and headed over to help the girls. The driver of the Escalade was taking off ahead of me. I was glad to follow because I wasn't completely sure where the turnoff to the landing area was. It turned out that the dirt road off the highway that led there was extremely dusty and bumpy and again I wished we were in Alex' old Cherokee. I never bottomed out, but the Mustang's suspension wasn't meant for off road work. The road went for 2.1 miles by my odometer, with the first half mile running parallel to the highway on the other side of a barb wire fence. I looked over at the pavement longingly. It was the natural environment for my pony car. I parked on the outskirts of the lot, hoping to avoid door dings. Droves of people were coming up out of the water, all carrying tubes. I didn't see another raft anywhere. Great. I was parked close to the exit of the lot so I walked over and stuck my thumb out. It was only a matter of seconds before I was picked up by a load of guys who'd already finished their trip. "Dude, you sure are starting late," the driver said, after I'd wedged myself into the back with a couple of his friends. "Yeah, my buddy told me there are groups coming down the river all day long, but it looks like morning is the popular time." "That's for sure. It was a zoo when we got here at eight. Tubes fuckin' wall-to-wall on the way down. Most of 'em are gone already, but it was a major party all morning. Fun was had by all." The guys were in a hurry and we traversed the road at triple the speed I'd traveled on the way in. Four minutes later, they dropped me off at the highway. I stuck my thumb out again, but the only traffic I saw for the first couple of minutes was coming from the river and heading down the highway the other direction. Then a pickup dropped off the driver of the Escalade right next to me. "Looks like we may be here for a while," I warned. "Yeah, my group likes to come later in the day to avoid the crowds, but having to wait for a ride is kind of a downside." "Hmm. Most people seem to like the crowds." "Well, we're all old married people," he said with a grin. He couldn't have been more than a couple of years older than me. I stuck out a paw. "Sean." "Ethan," he said, shaking my hand with a firm grip. "First time up here?" "Yeah, my friend talked me into coming up here with him." "You'll have fun." Like me, Ethan was wearing a hat and sunglasses, but he looked familiar somehow. I would have sworn I knew him from somewhere, but I just couldn't place him. I hate it when that happens. A distant hum of tires on the asphalt alerted us to the fact that a vehicle was coming up the highway. We stuck our thumbs out and were rewarded when a Suburban with two tubes strapped to the roof rack rolled to a stop next to us as its window came down. There was a cute Asian girl behind the wheel and an attractive brunette riding shotgun. Both of them appeared to be in their early twenties. They were slightly plump, but wearing agreeably brief bikinis and I figured Alex would be thrilled if we could find ourselves going down the river with them. "Going to the top?" asked the driver. "Absolutely," I said. "Then hop in, guys," she said, nodding toward the back. The door opened to reveal two more girls sitting on the middle row bench. The far one was very tall, thin and dressed in one of those wrist-to-ankle swimsuits preferred by those trying to avoid too much sun exposure. Being quite fair skinned and a dedicated swimmer, I actually owned stuff like that myself, but had left it at home, figuring it would probably look out of place in this crowd. The nearer girl was clad in a conservative one-piece, but was actually the hottie of the group. She was vaguely Hispanic with a stunning face and a body made for sin. There was space enough for four on the bench and the thought of being tight up against her wasn't at all unpleasant, but she wordlessly directed me rearward, toward the third row. I hit the release lever for the split seatback and packed my six foot five frame into the way-back. There were three more tubes in the cargo area behind me. Ethan looked like he was about to follow me into the penalty box, but she reached out and flipped the seatback into its upright position and motioned for him to join her. Part of me was a bit hurt, but women had always tended to find me a bit gawky. I was used to it and it wasn't like I was in the market anyway. Still... She scooted a little closer to Ethan, but then he covered his mouth with his left hand and gave a little cough. She immediately saw (as he'd obviously intended) his wide wedding band. Her shoulders slumped and she moved back to where she'd been. That made me feel a little better. "Thanks for the ride, ladies," Ethan said. "I don't know how long we'd have been stuck there if you hadn't stopped." "Not a problem," said the driver. "We got a late start because Kim had to work this morning," she said, indicating the girl in the shotgun seat. "I'm Randi, that's Trish in the middle seat, and Jessica's in the wet suit." "I'm Ethan." "Sean." There were murmurs of greeting all around, then Ethan turned to me. "Did your friend tell you about the rapids and the jump spots?" "Nope." "Well, the river runs through a canyon the whole way, but there are only three places where it's safe to jump." Trish was up on the edge of her seat, talking with Randi and Kim, but Jessica was listening to Ethan. I got the impression that she was a first timer as well. Her face was vaguely Asian and looked intelligent and friendly, if not as cute as any of her shorter companions. "The first set of rapids are right after the first jump spot. They're not particularly rough, but the water runs really fast and it's less than a foot deep so you have to keep your feet up. The big rapids are near the landing area. You need to make sure you're on the outside of the bend, because the inside is too gnarly for tubes." "How long does it take, top to bottom?" I asked. "If you float all the way without stopping, probably about four hours." "Four hours? Alex told me it takes about two." "Only if the reservoir gets too high and they release a lot of water. This summer's been pretty dry, so I'm guessing four would be a minimum." "Damn," I muttered. I caught the driver's attention in the mirror. "Randi, you're coming back down to leave your truck after you drop these guys off, right?" She nodded. "Could I talk you into giving me and a friend a ride back to my car? I could give you a lift back up to the top so you don't have to stand out there and thumb a ride." "You're not going to tube?" "Nope. I have to be back in town by six. That's not going to happen if we're on the river for four hours." The guys had scored a coveted tee time at the country club for my birthday. I'd turned twenty-four the day before. I'd be damned if Alex was going to make me miss it. "Sure, I can bring you guys back if you want." When we arrived at the launch point, Ethan's group was the only one there. I got the impression that Randi and her friends were going to be the last group of the day. A few seconds later, I realized that Alex was gone. I walked over to my pile of stuff. My raft and pump were still there, but the cooler and beer were gone, leaving just my two six-packs of water bottles sitting in the gravel next to my backpack. "That jerk," I muttered. "Your buddy took off with that bunch of girls just after you left," said one of the guys from Ethan's group. "They didn't seem to be real excited about the idea of having him with them, but he told them he had a case of beer in his cooler. They were obviously under drinking age and only brought pop, so they were all over that offer. We gave him some crap about it, but he told us to fuck off." He shrugged. "Dude, I don't want to be rude about it, but that guy's an asshole." "Yeah, I'm learning that more and more today." I hoped the girls would drown him when they found that the cooler only had a twelve-pack in it. Correction, ten-pack. There were two fresh empties of Alex' favorite microbrew lying on the ground next to the raft. I picked them up and tossed them into the recycling bin, three feet away. I stuffed the bottles of water into my backpack, then began to unroll my raft. Only then did it hit me. I did a quick search, but it wasn't there. Before I could even consider my next move, Ethan approached. "You're welcome to float with us," he said. "With a pump like that one, it shouldn't take you long to get inflated." "I really appreciate the offer," I said, "but the adapter that lets me hook it to the raft is in Alex' pocket. It takes forty-five minutes minimum to inflate this thing with the crappy little hand pump that came with it. You guys had better just go ahead and take off." The stock pump was something more like what you'd use to inflate a volleyball, not a raft. It might have been faster than lung power, but not by much. "I feel for you, Sean. Are you sure you can inflate a raft with that little thing?" "Yeah, I did it the first time I took the raft out. The next day I bought the bigger pump." "Well, okay. We're pretty leisurely, so maybe we'll see you along the way," Ethan said, shaking my hand. He walked back to his group, who already had all of their stuff down at the water. Life Raft I quickly lathered up with sunscreen, then began to work the little pump. I hadn't been at it for more than a minute or two when I noticed that the girls were having their own troubles. There were four ratchet straps holding their tubes to the roof rack of the Suburban. Jessica was the only one tall enough to reach, but she didn't seem to know how they worked. I walked over to help. Jessica was really tall, like maybe six foot two or three and had straight black hair in a ponytail down to the middle of her back. She towered over her friends. "My boyfriend loaded the tubes last night," Randi explained. "None of us have ever used this kind of strap, though." Having grown up on a farm, I'd been using ratchet straps from the time of my weaning, so I walked up next to Jessica. It was a novel experience, standing nearly eye-to-eye with a girl, and I kind of liked that. "May I show you?" I asked, hoping that I wasn't coming off as the swaggering hero type. "Please. I'm usually better than this with gadgets," she said with a chagrined smile from under a huge straw coolie hat. Despite having relatively dark skin, she was clearly taking the sun protection thing very seriously. I showed her how to squeeze the little slide to release the handle, then how to move the handle straight out to release the ratchet. "Got it," she said. "I'll get the two on the other side," I said. By the time I'd released the ratchets on the driver's side, she'd released the other one on the passenger side. Each of us lifted a tube off the roof. "Our hero," Trish said, but I didn't miss the edge of sarcasm in her tone. I handed my two straps to Jessica who tossed them in the back with hers. "Thanks, Sean," she said. "My pleasure." It looked like the girls had everything else unloaded, so I turned to walk over to my raft. "Hang on a second," Jessica said softly to me. She turned to the other girls. "Maybe Sean could go with us," she suggested. "We're not going to be ready for a while, anyway." "Jessica," Randi said, sounding a bit exasperated, "this is a girls-day-out trip, remember?" "Yeah. Sorry." Jessica turned and gave me an apologetic look. "That's okay," I said. "I wouldn't want to intrude." I went back to my raft and resumed pumping. When the girls got done unloading, Randi walked up to me. "I can still give you a ride back to the landing area if you don't want to blow up your raft. It would serve your friend right if he had to find his own way back to town." I thought about it for a moment. "No thanks," I sighed, "I just can't see myself doing that to him." "Seriously? After the way he just screwed you over?" Randi was right of course and Alex had it coming in a big way, but the very thought of him yelling at me later for leaving him was really unpleasant. "Yeah, I'll just inflate the raft and see if I can catch up with him." "Well, okay, if you're sure." Her expression said that she thought I was pathetic. I couldn't help but think that she was right. "I'll be back in a few," Randi said to her friends, hopping into the Suburban and rolling away. I went back to inflating the raft, but kept watching the three remaining girls out of the corner of my eye. "Kim and I will take two tubes each," Trish said. "You grab the last tube and the cooler, Jessica." The two grabbed canvas ditty bags, then slung a tube over each shoulder. They headed down the wide gravel path to the water. Jessica bent down to pick up the cooler. It was tall and round and looked like it would ride perfectly in the middle of their fifth tube, but to have enough drinks and ice for four girls, it would have to be heavy. Jessica was able to pick it up, though. She headed for the river, a hundred yards distant. She made it about a quarter of the way, then set it down heavily. Her body language said that she wasn't sure she was going to make it. Kim and Trish were still walking away and didn't see her. I was on my feet immediately, ashamed that I hadn't offered to help right off the bat. Four years of college feminism had taken a heavy toll on the common courtesy I'd been brought up with. Trish's sarcastic comment when I'd helped with the straps would have been typical on campus. "Mind if I give you a hand with that, Jessica?" I said, almost hesitantly, as I walked up. She looked at me gratefully. "Yeah, I'd really appreciate that." I bent to pick it up, but she stopped me. "I don't think it's designed to be carried by a single person," she said. "Oh, okay," I said. I grabbed one handle and she grabbed the other and we lifted it between us. I immediately realized that Jessica was a whole lot stronger than she looked. "Gee, I hope you guys have enough in here to avoid getting thirsty on the way down," I said, almost grunting. "Yeah, I think we may have overdone it a bit," she said. We carried it straight to the river, then walked back up the path so that she could snag her tube and bag. "I really appreciate your help, Sean," she said, picking up her tube. "Don't mention it." I was maybe a third of the way into the inflation job when a car dropped Randi off. The highway was right next to the parking lot and she walked by maybe thirty seconds later. "You guys have fun," I offered. "Maybe I'll see you on the way down." She stopped and looked at me. "How long is it going to take you to get your raft blown up?" Her tone said she hoped it would be a long time. "Uh, probably at least another half-hour." She nodded, then turned abruptly and walked down to the river. They pushed off, but I caught Jessica looking back at me. I waved at her and she waved back, though surreptitiously, like she didn't want the others to see her do it. I realized with a pang that I really hated seeing her go. She wasn't the prettiest girl I'd ever met -- hell, she wasn't even close to being among the top three prettiest girls I'd seen in the last thirty seconds -- but there was something about her that I really liked. And, of course, I wasn't exactly Brad Pitt myself. I returned to inflating the raft with renewed vigor. I worked the little pump until my hands started to cramp up, but kept right on going. I was soon sweating like crazy and already on my second bottle of rapidly warming water. I pulled off my T-shirt and floppy beach hat, sitting them on the recycling bin behind me and quickly smearing on more sunscreen. I had a reasonable tan for someone so light skinned, but if I was going to be out in the sun all day, I needed to take full precautions. The raft was maybe two-thirds inflated when a warden pulled up next to the gate in his dull green pickup. He got out and walked toward me. I got to my feet to meet him. "Son, you can't launch after one o'clock," he said to me, pointing at a large sign next to the gate, listing all of the park rules. With everything else going on, I hadn't read it. My divers watch said it was twelve fifty-seven. I wouldn't be ready in time. "Sir, the rest of my party is already on the river. I need to catch up." That was kind of true, in a way. "Sorry, but the rule's the rule. Why don't you deflate your raft and throw it in my truck. I'll give you a lift to the landing area where you can wait for them." He started walking back to his vehicle. I decided that it would have been nice if he'd stopped me before I'd put so much effort into the task, but I reached down for the deflation valve. I was just starting to work it loose when he called out to me. "Hey, hang on just a second there." He was walking back over. "Look, would you, um, be willing to do me a favor if I let you go down the river after all?" "Absolutely I would." Maybe the rule wasn't the rule after all. "Well, see, you look to be a bit older and more mature than a lot of the folks here and I'm in a bit of a situation. I like to run the Jet Ski up and back in the evening to make sure no one is stranded on the river, but I tweaked my back pretty good this morning. I won't be able to get to my chiropractor until tomorrow and running the sweep tonight in my condition just isn't possible." I nodded in sympathy. "Here's the deal," he continued. "If you can make sure you're the last one on the river when you get out, I'll sleep better tonight." "I'd be happy to do that for you, sir." "Very good. Now here's my card. I'll need to hear from you before seven so I can report that the river's clear. Not that the weenies at headquarters would do anything themselves if I told them I didn't know." "You can count on me, and I really appreciate this." "Likewise. I'm going to go ahead and lock the gate behind you, but I'll swing by in a bit to make sure you got onto the river okay." He shook my hand, then locked me in. Between the tall gate and the five foot barbed wire fence, it was a sure thing that no one else would get in the river behind me. He waved as he drove away. Ten minutes later, I decided there was enough air in the raft to safely keep me afloat at least. The inflation stem was conveniently located on the top of the raft so I could finish inflating while I was on the river. I carried it down to the water, then made a second trip for the oars and my backpack. I'd beaten the estimate I'd given Randi by half. I was almost ready to push off when I saw a Zip-loc bag sitting on a small boulder next to the river. I stopped and picked it up, looking its contents over. A smile slowly came over my face. I used the oars to get myself out into the middle of the current, then resumed pumping. As I went down the river, the steep rock walls of the canyon rose up on both sides until it felt like I was drifting through a stone tunnel. It wasn't the Grand Canyon by any means, but it was still impressive as hell. There was a stiff breeze coming from downstream and I could tell that it was slowing my progress. Why not? Everything else was delaying me today. I tried to pay it no mind. My hands felt like they were going to drop from my wrists by the time I finished inflating the raft, but at last it felt really firm. I looked down the river. It made a slight bend to the right and I could just see a group of dark-haired girls, who I assumed to be Randi and company, kicking and paddling out into the center of the river. Within moments, they'd entered the rapids. They hadn't been anywhere in sight two minutes before, so I had to assume they'd stopped for a while. Sure enough, as I came around the bend a little further, I could see the first jump spot, right on the inside of the bend. There was a small outcropping of rock sticking out from the canyon wall and a good-sized gravel beach just upstream. I could imagine that earlier in the day it would have been swarming with tubers, drinking and cheering the jumpers. The river itself was smooth and slow in this section, meaning that it must be deep. Other than the girls', there wasn't a tube in sight. Now that the raft was fully inflated, I could concentrate on catching up. Randi had made it plain that I wasn't welcome to float with them, but frankly, it hadn't seemed to me that Jessica was all that welcome with them either. I had a vague hope that she might decide to travel with me instead. I stuck the oars in the locks and began to row downstream. I was almost to the rapids when I thought I heard a noise over the sound of the rushing water. It was very faint and I almost ignored it, chalking it up to the acoustics of the canyon. Then, almost on a whim, I looked over toward the rock outcropping. To my shock, there was a bare arm waving from the water, and below it, a female face with dark hair. The lack of a sleeved suit told me that it had to be Randi, Kim or Trish. Whichever it was, without a tube and with rapids downstream, she was in trouble. If I didn't pick her up, she would be stuck there for however long it took me to get to the bottom and get someone to her. How on earth had she been left behind? That had been a near thing. I'd almost missed her. I spun the raft with the oars and started rowing with a will. I was close enough to the rapids that the water beneath me was running faster, and I quickly realized that I wasn't making any progress upstream. I couldn't row any harder than I was, so unless I figured something out quick, the poor girl was going to be stuck until I could get to the bottom and call the warden. I knew I wouldn't be able to row flat out for much longer, so in a last ditch effort, I aimed the raft toward the river bank a little, hoping that the water would be slower there. The immediate effect was to start moving me downstream and I nearly gave up, but then I realized that it was working as I got closer to shore. I started making progress little by little and with a last burst of energy, I entered the deep, still pool of water under the outcropping. Winded, I glanced over my shoulder just long enough to locate the jumper, then rowed over and turned myself to speak to her. The face that looked up at me wasn't one of those I'd been expecting, but it was the very picture of abject misery. "Jessica," I exclaimed, "are you okay?" I got to my knees in the raft and reached out, ready to pull her up out of the water. Instead of taking my hands, though, she hung her head and sobbed. "Hey, are you hurt?" She was obviously standing on the bottom, so at least she wasn't about to drown. She shook her head. "Hey, you're okay now. Nothing's going to happen to you." She managed a small nod of her head. I wanted to ask her how it was that she'd been left behind, but there were more pressing issues. "We need to get you aboard. No one else is coming down the river today." "But Sean," she sniffed, "I'm... well... naked." "Oh, wow." I really should have expected that. The water had enough silt in it to be mostly opaque, but I could just make out the tops of her bare shoulders. "Well, here, you can wear my..." I was going to pull off my T-shirt and hand it to her, but suddenly remembered that I was already bare-chested. "Jessica, I stupidly left my shirt back at the launch area. I've got nothing for you to wear." She managed to stop crying, but I could tell she was still on the ragged edge. "I know I'm going to have to come out of the water, Sean, but I can't grab on to you. When I was climbing the rocks, I slipped and wrapped both of my hands around a really nasty cactus. I can't touch anything." "I've got tweezers," I said. She finally looked up at me. "With you?" "Sure. I never go off into the wilderness without a decently equipped first aid kit. You never know what can happen." "That's good, but believe it or not, I've got an even bigger issue." "What's that?" "I wasn't just wearing that ridiculous suit to cover up what at pathetic body I have. I've got a really bad sun allergy. Even a mild sunburn can give me a truly painful rash and hives that go on for months." "Well, I brought a big bottle of 50 SPF, but you obviously can't apply it with your hands full of cactus needles. It's going to take me at least an hour to pull them, but I guess you could stay in the water in the meantime if you want." She shook her head. "The water's too cold. I'm already starting to shiver." I didn't want to be the one to suggest the obvious solution, but we both knew what it was. I could see her weighing the cost of months of rashes and hives against having to ask me to do something that was apparently going to cost her some major dignity. "Sean," she said, the tension in her voice thick enough to cut with a knife, "I hate to even ask, but I really don't have a choice. Would you be willing to put the sunblock on me?" I was privately pleased to see that she could put logic before emotion. "Yeah, I could do that." Well twist my arm, but I figured that making light of her predicament would be almost cruel so I kept a straight face. "Since we're going to do this, I'm thinking it would be a lot easier on land than in the raft." "Okay," she said hesitantly. "Look, why don't I beach the raft over there. You can stay in the water until I'm ready for you if you'd like. We don't want you in the sun any more than necessary until you've got some protection." "Okay." So I quickly rowed over to the beach and pulled the raft up onto the sand. I quickly glanced around to see if there might be a shady spot, but the sun was almost directly overhead. Then I realized that there was a narrow space between two rocky outcroppings that might be just the perfect distance apart. I lifted my backpack out and picked up the raft, carrying it to the crevice and wedging it upside down between the rocks above my head. It fit perfectly and provided the only shade in the canyon. I pulled the sunblock out of my backpack. "Okay, Jessica," I called out. "Ready when you are." Trying to be a gentleman, but really only just delaying the inevitable, I turned my back to her. I heard the swishing of water as she approached, then a gasp as she came around the corner. "Oh wow. Thank you, Sean. You're saving my life here." "It was the least I could do. Tell me when you're ready." I heard her walk up behind me into the shade. "Okay," she said, her voice cracking. I turned to her. She had her back to me and the edges of her hands were up against the rock wall. I almost gasped. "Jessica, what's this about your having a 'pathetic body'? You're gorgeous," I blurted. Jessica was, like me, very long and lean, but she was no stick figure. She had really nice muscle tone, from her rippling calves and thighs, to her strong shoulders and biceps. She'd handled that heavy cooler amazingly well, and now I could see how. Jessica's neck was long and slender, her back sleekly feminine, and while she had only the slightest curve to her hips, her butt cheeks were beautifully rounded. She obviously spent no time outdoors in anything but a full cover up, because her skin was uniformly light brown, from head to toe. "Please don't make fun of me," she pleaded, so low I could barely make it out. "I'm serious, Jessica." She didn't say anything, but gave a small shake of her head like my words were beyond the pale. It wasn't something I should probably argue with her about, so I decided to just go ahead and get down to business. Jessica's long ponytail was in the way so I reached out to take it in my hand. I was intending to move it around to the front, but as soon as I touched it, she flinched. Hard. "Jessica, I'm..." But she was dropping to her knees in the sand where she scrunched into a fetal position and covered herself with her hands. Then she began to cry in deep, wracking sobs that nearly broke my heart. Something told me that this was about a whole lot more than getting caught without her suit. I got down on my knees and reached out to her, thinking I would put a comforting hand on her shoulder. I hesitated, not sure how she would feel about my touching her naked body at this point, but I went ahead and did it anyway. She flinched again, but after a long moment she tipped her head to place her cheek on the back of my hand. We stayed like that for a couple of minutes until she finally got herself stopped with a last sniffle. "I'm sorry," I said. "Not your fault. Sean, I really need to apologize to you. This wasn't your doing in any way and you didn't ask for any of it. You've been a perfect gentleman to me ever since we met, and here I am, acting like it's the end of the world if you see or touch me, even though I asked you to. The thing is, I've never let a man see me naked and I'm, well, really uncomfortable about that since I'm so ugly." There it was again. How could she possibly think that? Sure, I'd noted that her face wasn't as cute as her friends, yet she'd been the one I was attracted to. I decided to go out on a limb a little and tell her the truth. Life Raft "Jessica, the reason I was rowing so hard through the calm section was to see if I could catch up to you guys. I guess I had some kind of forlorn hope that I could split you off from your friends, since it seemed like they weren't being very nice to you anyway. I wanted the chance to talk to you some more." "You wanted to go down the river with me?" Her voice was a mixture of doubt, wonder and maybe a little bit of concern. "But don't worry, I'm absolutely not going to take advantage of you." I said it with as convincing a tone of voice as I could manage. "Oh. Are you, like, gay?" Maybe I'd been a little too emphatic. I couldn't quite tell from her inflection whether she was relieved or disappointed. "No, nothing like that. And it's not that I'm uptight or attached either. It's just that, well, let's just say that you're completely safe in my hands and leave it at that." "Okaaay, if you say so." She took a deep breath. "I'm ready if you're still willing." "I am." We got to our feet and she put her hands back up against the rock. I resisted the urge to start reciting her Miranda rights to her. "Jessica, you lied to me." "Huh?" "You're not completely naked." She actually managed a little bit of a giggle. "My sandals don't count. I'm not really all that embarrassed about my feet being seen naked in public." "Exhibitionist." This time she held perfectly still as I took her hair into my hands. It was thick, soft, silky and amazingly weighty. I had to fight the urge to run my fingers through it. Instead, I hung her ponytail over her shoulder, out of my way. Squeezing a little lotion into my hand, I rubbed it in my palms, then started lightly working it into her shoulders. The feel of my hands on her body was electrifying. Even as baby soft and smooth as her skin was, the lotion didn't go far, though, so I picked up the bottle to get more. "Sean," she said, "why don't you just squirt a bunch on me and get after it. I think there will be a lot less embarrassment for both of us if you just do it quickly." "That's true. I need to keep in mind that what I'm doing here is a preventative medical procedure." "That's the spirit." I grabbed the bottle and squirted a line of lotion from her wrist, across her arm, and then in a spiral pattern down her back. I returned to the nape of her neck and ran a line from there to her other wrist. Then I put the bottle down and reached for her. I could barely believe this was happening. While I felt bad for Jessica because of the circumstances that had led to this, I was massively turned on by the fact that I was going to run my hands all over her amazing body. This day was definitely looking up. Starting at her narrow waist, I quickly and efficiently spread and massaged the lotion into her skin. I worked it in well enough to get rid of the white smears, but I made sure it was thick and even. I tried really hard to make sure I wasn't missing any spots. She wasn't going to burn if I could help it. I made sure I got her sides and gloried when I felt just the outer swelling of her breasts. Then I did her incredibly smooth armpits, firm shoulders and went clear up to her hairline under her ponytail. I covered both arms from fingertips to shoulders. "Okay, let's do the bottom half," I said, now on a roll. Jessica paused for a long moment, but then leaned forward a little and spread her legs, giving me enough access to be able to coat them all the way up. I'm sure she knew she was also giving me a beautifully framed look at her privates as well, but that couldn't be helped. While I empathized with her situation, I couldn't help but look. The first thing that jumped out at me was that Jessica was defying modern convention by not being trimmed, let alone shaved. Some of her wispy, black strands hung down a couple of inches between her slim, but muscular thighs. Her maidenhood was very modest and discreet, with only the barest of slits visible. Everything was neatly contained with only her pubic hair outwardly differentiating her from a child. Still, she was beautiful and I felt a surge of desire for her. I dropped to my knees and squirted a thick line of lotion from her ankle, up her leg, across her buttocks a couple of times, then back down the other leg. I started at the bottom, temporarily removing her sandals so I could get the tops of her feet, then covering all around each leg and up to her hips. I was really impressed with her muscle development. She was obviously some kind of athlete. I rubbed the lotion into her butt cheeks and the sides of her hips, but avoided her privates by a couple of inches. I was going to need special dispensation to go there. A moment later, she gave it. "Sean," she said, obviously fighting her embarrassment, "I don't want to get burned there, either. It's okay to do those parts too, if you don't mind." I didn't trust myself to say anything, so I just squirted a little more lotion into my palms and began to rub it between her butt cheeks, spreading it efficiently, but thoroughly. Then I slipped my hand between her inner thighs. I felt her quick intake of breath as my palm rubbed her leg up to the top of her thigh. I just brushed her lovely lips with the back of my hand and nearly gasped as I felt her own moisture smear thickly across me. Neither of us said anything as I turned my palm upward and quickly coated her with sunblock using the same casual motions I'd used for her armpits. Though there was no physical manifestation of it, I was more sexually aroused than I'd been in a long time. Now fully in the spirit of things, I stood up and got in close behind her. Spreading a large dollop of lotion around on my hands, I reached around and began to slather her lower abdomen, making sure I'd left no gap by again quickly palming her maidenhood. Jessica began a low moan, but caught herself and cut it off abruptly. That brought me back to myself and I continued up her torso as if I hadn't heard her, but this was obviously getting her aroused as well. "Sean, I think you're going to need to see what you're doing," she said breathlessly. "I'm going to turn around, but I'm keeping my eyes closed." "Why?" "So I don't have to see your look of revulsion." "Oh, I doubt you'd see anything like that." She turned to face me, then leaned back against the rock wall. Indeed, her eyes were closed, but it actually was nice to be able to look at all of her without feeling self-conscious about it. I reevaluated the way Jessica was wearing her pubic hair. She actually was shaved in the areas that would show in a modest swimsuit, but otherwise her hair was long and natural. The fully shaved look had always just seemed a bit too child-like for my tastes and it would have been doubly so with her boyish physique. I found her thick bush womanly and amazingly sexy. Directing my gaze upward, I noted that her breasts were small, especially on such a long frame, but they were high and nicely rounded, like I preferred. Her nipples were standing up hard and proud. I liked the delicate features of her collarbones and throat, and the hard muscles of her stomach and abdomen. She was absolutely firm, but emphatically sleek. "You can open your eyes, Jessica. You're very easy on mine," I said, again going out on a limb a bit. "I hope you don't mind my saying so." "Brown-noser," she said, but her eyes popped open and she gave me a grateful smile. She was blushing intensely as she watched me squirt lotion across her chest. I rubbed it in from stomach to neck with the same motions I'd used on her back. I'd figured that the safest way to handle her breasts was to treat them as a non-erogenous zone, but when my palms ran across her hard nipples, we both gasped. Her breasts were firmer than any I'd ever felt and her nipples were harder than I'd previously believed possible. I just plain couldn't help myself and gave them three or four swirls more than was probably necessary for Jessica's sun protection. She closed her eyes and held her breath, obviously not minding, but trying in vain to conceal her arousal. Since there was only so much I could do for her in the end, I moved north, slathering her thickly up to her chin. I squirted a little more lotion on my hands and began to carefully coat her face. She closed her eyes again and I quickly realized that this felt even more intimate than when I'd palmed her. "I'm really sorry about all of this," she said. "You should be having a nice relaxing ride down the river, not be nursemaiding a helpless woman." "Um, if I may be so bold, I think I'd rather go down the river with a beautiful girl than be alone -- or with Alex -- any day of the week." I was pleased to see that while Jessica's expression said she wasn't sure if I was being serious about her beauty, she didn't actually question me on it this time. I'd decided that I really liked the friendly, wholesome look of Jessica's face. And to a guy like me, her body was perfection personified. "You're the one who should be having a hard time," I continued, "having to look at this pale, scrawny body and big, honkin' nose." "I think your face is quite noble-looking," she said, "and scrawny? How tall are you?" "Six foot five, but I only weigh one ninety-five." "It's all muscle though. What do you do to stay in shape?" "I swam all through high school and college. I've done a couple of triathlons and I'm training for the Ironman now, but I'm not in your kind of shape. You're obviously an athlete, Jessica. What's your sport?" "I was the captain of the volleyball team at the university." That rang a bell. "Wait, you're not Jessica Swenson, are you?" That was the name of the girl who had captained the Pelicans to the NCAA championship the previous fall. "What, surprised?" She looked pleased that I'd heard of her and thankfully didn't seem to mind that I seemed a little doubtful about her name. "Well, um, forgive me for being a bit non-PC here, but I only read about you in the paper. I guess that with a name like that, I would have expected someone a bit more, well, blond." "Oh, you're quite forgiven. My grandpa Swenson is blond and blue-eyed, but my grandma Swenson is from Kenya. They met at UCLA. My mom is Vietnamese, though, and most people take me for full Asian." "That's cool, having such a varied ancestry. Me, I'm just Irish." "Yeah, at the risk of being a little non-PC myself, I'm guessing that there aren't a whole lot of Kenyan carrot tops out there." "I can sympathize with your aversion to the sun. I've got long swim gear myself and if I'd known this was going to be a four-hour trip, I'd have worn it. This climate is brutal for someone like me." "True, living in the desert sucks," she said. "I read in the paper that you tried out for the Olympic team." "Yeah, it was fun and I'm waiting to find out if I'm going to Rio." Something in her voice told me that she didn't think so, and I decided to leave that topic alone for now. At least I was finally done with the sunblock. "Well, Jessica Swenson, it's nice to meet you. I'm Sean Sullivan." "Nice to meet you, too, Sean Sullivan. I'd shake your hand, but..." "Yeah, do you want me to pull those needles out here, or would you like to start down the river first?" "Sunblock or not, the sooner we're indoors the better," Jessica said. "Even in the shade of the raft, we're picking up a ton of reflected UV here." "I'm with you." I lifted the raft up and away from the rocks and set it back down at the edge of the water. I held Jessica's arm to keep her steady while she stepped in and sat in the stern. I pushed the raft out a bit, then jumped in and rowed us toward the rapids. I was about to tell her to hang on, but realized that she couldn't. "Uh, brace yourself. This could get a little rough." I turned the raft so that it was going down the river stern first, rowing against the current so I could see where we were going. Jessica turned and wrapped her arms across the stern of the raft, pressing her chest against it for stability. Fortunately, these rapids were mostly just fast water and a minute later we were back to cruising. Jessica turned back to me and sat cross-legged. I was amazed at how quickly she was getting comfortable with her nudity. She looked down at her hands. "I figured I was going to have to stick it out with these things until the end of the river at least. They hurt." I snagged the tweezers out of the first aid kit in my backpack. "Well, let's get started." She presented her right hand. Her fingers were long but sturdy, with short, practical nails. They would have been perfect for a surgeon or concert pianist. I went for a needle in the middle of her palm. It came out cleanly, but Jessica winced. "Deep, huh?" I said in sympathy. "Yeah, but it feels good to have it out." Jessica was a trooper, not flinching after the first couple and keeping her hand relaxed so I could go as quickly as possible. I did my best to concentrate on the job at hand and not be distracted by the pert breasts and adorable bush in front of me. Jessica's nipples seemed to have a mind of their own and stayed erect through the whole process. At least the cactus had been of a variety with needles that were stiff and strong. There was a good chance that I could get them all without leaving any broken off in her skin. In the meantime, I was interested in knowing how she'd come to be in the position in which I'd found her. "You know, Jessica, I almost missed you as I went by. I thought I was hearing things when you called out to me and I almost didn't look." "My bad. I didn't think you were going to be along for quite a while, so I had my face turned away from the sun. I didn't see you until the last second. That was really stupid on my part." "Well, it turned out okay. It's just lucky that I brought this big, dorky raft -- and that the warden allowed me to come down the river after all." "Warden?" So I explained the deal we'd struck. "If he hadn't changed his mind, you'd have been there until I got to the bottom and your friends reported that you were stranded." Jessica shook her head. "They're probably going to head straight for town as soon as they get to the bottom, laughing their asses off because they stranded me naked in a raft with a guy I didn't even know. I'd have been stuck there overnight if you hadn't seen me." "It's still just late spring and it gets cold up here at night," I said. "Hypothermia would have been a huge issue for you. I don't think you could have maintained enough body heat to make it until morning. Did you tell anyone else you were tubing?" She shook her head and her big brown eyes got positively huge. "So to survive, I'd have had to swim eleven miles to the bottom, through two sets of rapids, or scale the canyon wall without gear and hike to the highway? I don't know that I could have done either of those things." She looked really spooked. I nodded and decided not to sugarcoat it. "You very well could have died, Jessica." Despite the heat, I nearly shivered at how close I'd come to missing her. I figured this was the time to finally ask the obvious question. "So why did your supposed friends want to do this to you?" "It's a long story." "Oh. Well in that case I'll go back to the TV show I was watching." She smiled. "Okay. When I was living in the dorms as a freshman I became friends with Randi. We were both on the volleyball team. When I came back for my sophomore year we rented a house with Kim and Trish. At first I liked living there, even though Randi turned out to be a bit of a queen bee. But at the start of our senior year, she got cut from the team because of how much weight she'd put on in the off-season. Then, when I was named captain, she became a total bitch to me. I ended up moving into an apartment with my friend Shalondra. "Then, just a couple of weeks ago, Randi called and apologized for what she'd done. She wanted us to get together one last time before I left. She seemed to be sincere in her apologies, so when she suggested I come along on this trip, I agreed. "On the drive up, all three of them told me it's a local tradition that the first time you go tubing here you get naked and jump at the first spot. They all swore they'd done it the first time. "When we got to the jump spot we were by ourselves and knew you wouldn't be along for a while, but I still didn't want to do it, so they said they'd go first. One at a time, they stripped and jumped, so I felt duty-bound. I only had sunblock on my face, hands and feet, but I figured it would be less than five minutes, so what the heck. "It's not an easy climb, but I was almost to the top when they started yelling that they'd gotten too close to the rapids and were being swept away. Our tubes were all tied together and my towel and suit were in my bag, attached to my tube, so I kind of panicked and tried to climb too fast. I slipped and that's when I tangled with the cactus. By the time I got to the top and jumped in, they were already into the rapids." "Abandoning you was intentional, Jessica. I witnessed them paddling out into the current." She hung her head. "I like to always think the best of people, but sometimes it can get you burned. I'm just glad you were there." "It was my pleasure." And how. I'd finally finished and Jessica gingerly rubbed her hands together, feeling for any needles that I might have missed. "Wow, you should be a doctor, Sean. You got them all and my hands are hardly even sore." "Ah, it was nothing." I stayed where I was, cross-legged with my knees against hers. I'd been alone for so long that the skin-to-skin contact felt really good. She made no move to separate either. "So what do you do?" she asked. "Well, I got my business degree at the University of Pennsylvania two years ago, then I spent my first year out of college at Jensen Financial working as a stockbroker. I did well at that, but I like picking stocks and doing market analysis a lot better. I've been doing mock trades since high school and I almost always beat the market by a bunch, but I figured I'd just been lucky. "Last year, though, I talked them into letting me try my hand in the 'engine room' where that kind of thing happens. I've been doing pretty well and I really like it for now." "Just for now?" "Well, I've always had a dream about starting my own investment firm. Having the ability to consistently beat the market would make a pretty good sales pitch, and I've spent enough time in the different departments at Jensen to know just what I'll need to get my own firm up and running The problem is that my job at Jensen takes up sixty hours a week and I haven't had the time to complete my formal business plan." I knew I'd been doing a lot of talking and really wanted to hear more of her story. "So what about you, Jessica? If this was your senior year, you probably graduated last Saturday?" "Yup. My folks flew home on Monday." "What was your major?" "Accounting." "Hey, that's a hot field. Do you have any offers?" She looked a little embarrassed. "I finished near the head of my class and I interview well, so I figured I'd get some offers, but it's been totally ridiculous. I scored interviews with fourteen different companies and I've got nice offers on the table from seven of them." "That's fantastic!" "Yeah, but I was just interviewing for practice. I'm aiming to be a CPA and the family tradition is to get an MBA on the way. I'm set to start at Dartmouth in a few weeks if I don't go to Colorado Springs to train for the Olympics. Life Raft I was glad for her, but it sucked that she wasn't going to be in town for long. I wanted to have the opportunity to get to know her a lot better. I noticed that Jessica was looking downstream. "Uh oh, we're catching up to some people," she warned. I looked and sure enough, there was a clump of tubes along the shore. We were a good quarter mile away, but I could see a couple of people on a rock outcropping about twenty feet up the canyon wall. As I watched, a guy jumped into the river. I looked over at Jessica. Her arm was across her breasts. It surprised me for a moment because during our conversation, I'd pretty much forgotten that she was nude. "Sean, I don't want anyone but you to see me naked." That was an interesting way to put it, but I'd already been thinking about this kind of situation. "I have an idea." "What's that?" "Here, I'll show you." I started to slide my swimsuit off. "What, do you think it'll make me feel better if you're naked too?" "Nope, I'm making you some clothes." "But then you'll be naked." "We'll both be naked below the waist, but if we're sitting up and stay near the far bank, they won't know that. The only things we need to cover are your breasts, and seriously, how much fabric could that take?" She slapped my shoulder, but grinned. "Okay, show me what you have in mind." "Oh, you can't fool me. You just want to see my winky." "Well, it would only be fair." I sighed. "If I must." I untied the drawstring and began to slide my shorts down, for once glad that I wasn't going to have to deal with an embarrassing erection. I was right at the point of uncovering the goods when I noticed that Jessica was completely focused on my crotch. I stopped for a moment and she looked up to see me grinning at her. She blushed crimson and turned herself the other direction. I chuckled and pulled them off, then pulled my multitool out of my backpack. My shipmate still had her back to me. "Jessica, it's okay." "I was being rude." "Nah, I actually would have been a bit miffed if you hadn't shown any interest." "Still." "Oh, come on. As much as I enjoy looking at the sleek lines of your back, I like ogling your naked breasts even more." "You're awfully incorrigible for being such a gentleman." She turned back toward me, mostly recovered. She was obviously working hard to keep her eyes focused above my waist, though, and I didn't like us feeling uncomfortable around each other. "I'm going to return the favor you did me and close my eyes, Jessica. Look all you like." I even put the suit over my face as I counted down from twenty aloud. I hoped she wouldn't realize that I'd done that in case I blushed. Her having gone first made it a little easier to expose myself to her, but this wasn't something I did every day. I found that she was still checking me out when I finished my count. "Uh, do you like what you see, Jessica?" "You've got a decent package, Sean. Unlike my boobs, I'd say it's more than proportional to your height." She finally looked up at me. "Sorry. I just decided that we should be past the point of any shame around each other." "My thoughts exactly. Now let's get you dressed." I began to slice the fabric of my suit. "What are you doing?" Jessica asked, evidently concerned that I was destroying the only piece of clothing we had between us. "You'll see in a second. I'm not exactly Oscar de la Renta, but I'm thinking I can come up with something serviceable." A minute later I was ready. I'd slit the inseam from leg to leg and what I had left was more of a skirt than shorts. "Here, let's try this," I said, handing it to her. "I'm thinking you'll want to pull it up from the bottom, drawstring to the back." "Okay," she said doubtfully. She oriented it and slid her legs through it one at a time, then wiggled it upward. Jessica's hips had just enough womanly flare that they were really tight there. "Damn, my ass must be getting fat," she murmured as she worked them past the obstruction. "Are you kidding? You've got really firm butt cheeks. Believe me, I've felt them." "Pervert." She slid the suit up over her breasts (alas) where it was now a bit loose. "Here, turn around for a sec." She did and I tied off the drawstring behind her. The suit hung to her waist -- not a good look as far as I was concerned. I went about tucking the fabric up underneath, but realized that it wasn't going to stay, so I pulled it right up under the drawstring and then let it drape down over the top, effectively folding the length of the suit into thirds. I would have expected her to take over the process when she realized what I was doing with the suit, but she seemed content to let me finish the job. Naturally, the tucking process involved my hands brushing across her breasts under the fabric. I couldn't help but notice that her nipples had gone rock hard again. At last we were done. Jessica was now wearing a poofy black and red tube top and I was wearing my birthday suit. It was none too soon, as we were getting close to our fellow river runners. There were three jumpers up on the outcropping now, one male and two female. One of the girls jumped and executed a perfect cannonball. "Sean," the guy on the ledge yelled, "I see you've made a new friend." "Hey, Ethan," I yelled back. "You've met Jessica." He probably hadn't recognized her without her long suit. "Hi, Jessica," they all yelled. "Hi," she returned. "You guys having a good time?" I yelled. There was a chorus of whoops in response. We were drifting right out in front of them now. "Maybe we'll see you guys at the last jump spot," Ethan said, stepping up to the edge of the cliff. "You just might," I said, feeling a little guilty because I actually had no intention of making any stops the rest of the way. Sunblock or not, we needed to get Jessica indoors. Ethan braced himself to jump, but just as he was committed, the girl up there with him slapped him on the butt. Hard. The sound echoed off the canyon walls. He yelped on the way down, but the perp was bent over laughing, as were three of the four others. "Lisa!" the first jumper yelled as she waded up onto shore, "you keep your hands off my husband's ass." Lisa grinned down at her evilly. "Sorry, Fiona, but he had it coming for pretending to pantz me in front of Jessica's friends when they went by." "How long ago was that?" Jessica asked. "Maybe half an hour," Lisa said. "I asked 'em where the girl in the long swimsuit was and they said you two paired off." We were far enough away again that she was having to yell. "See you guys," I called out. They yelled their goodbyes and moments later we were around a bend in the river and all alone again. Jessica spun the suit around and untied it, then neatly slid it up over her shoulders and handed it to me. "You're welcome to keep wearing it," I said. "You never know who we might run into." I thought she was a lot cuter without it, though. "Oh, that's okay. We might as well keep the playing field even." I laid the suit across the bow. "Fair enough." "What are we going to do when we get to the landing area?" she asked. "I figure we make sure we're the last ones on the river, except maybe for Ethan's group. I don't think they'd give us any trouble. If we start to catch up with anyone else, I'll row us to shore and we can wait a while until they move on. If there are still people at the landing area, I'll park us a little ways up the river and walk to my car for a couple of towels." "Sounds like a plan." "And of course I hope you'll ride back to town with me." "Absolutely, but in the meantime, you'd probably better get some sunblock on your newly exposed areas." "Oops, I forgot about that." I pulled the bottle out of my backpack, but as I was about to pop the lid, Jessica snagged it from me. I looked at her questioningly. "Time for me to return the favor," she said with a sly grin. "Uh, okay." This could get interesting. "How do you want me?" She motioned for me to spin around. "On your knees, Mister." So I turned and knelt with my elbows on the bow, pointing my bare backside at her. I felt the breeze from downriver as my package swung beneath me, completely exposed. I was experiencing a strange combination of thrill and embarrassment, mixed in with the dread of Jessica finding out the brutal truth about me. I heard the top pop off and moments later, I felt Jessica's soft, smooth hands begin to caress my hips. I hadn't been touched by a woman in a long time and it felt really, really good. "That okay?" she asked. "Yeah, you have all day to stop doing that." Her hands went away for a moment, then I felt a warm line of lotion being squirted from the back of one thigh, up across my butt, then down the other. Her hands were quick and firm. She worked the lotion in, all the way around my legs from the knees up to my hip bone, only just avoiding my most erogenous areas. "Up straight," she said, "so I can get your back." "I already got that part." "Did you miss the fine print on the bottle that says you should reapply every two hours?" "Well, yeah, they always say that, but nobody actually-" "I do, and with your light skin, you should too." "Yes, dear." She giggled. "Sorry, but us accountants are sticklers when it comes to documentation." She was already most of the way up my back and was soon rubbing my shoulders, her hands moving with lightning speed. "You're really good at this," I said. "I took an elective in therapeutic touch and I did a lot of massages for the other girls on the volleyball team." "That would explain it." "None of them had shoulders like yours, though." She moved on to my arms. They didn't take but a minute. "Okay, turn around." Staying on my knees, I carefully turned to her. She had me sit back on my heels, then gently and thoroughly coated my face. Like when I'd done that for her, it was an amazingly intimate act. Then she hosed down my chest and stomach with the bottle, taking her time rubbing it in. It felt amazing and I gloried in the sensation of her hands on me. I didn't fail to notice that her hands spent a little more motion than necessary as they moved across my uncharacteristically hard nipples. My body was responding to her touch in every way that it was still capable of. Her hands paused for a moment as they worked the lotion into my stomach. "Wow, you've got some nice development here. Come on, give me a full flex." So I firmed up my stomach muscles and let her run her hands across the ridges. I wasn't a bodybuilder and my muscles weren't huge, but I had very little fat, so what I had really showed. "Very nice," she said, "now lay back." So I laid down in the bow, with my legs spread out to either side of her. The raft was long enough that my head and feet just barely touched the ends. She took one leg, and then the other, applying the sunblock. Now there was only one place left. I was willing to take care of that myself, but the look on her face said she was really looking forward to it. Her face asked for permission, mine granted it. Her smooth, moist hands on my abdomen and inner thighs were exquisite, but when she hesitantly took my cock in her hands, she finally let her puzzlement show. It really was time to confess, but I couldn't help teasing her just a little first. "Come on girl, I need to see some results. I paid for this." Her face lit up with mock outrage. "How dare you!" she said, letting go of me like a hot potato and squeezing up against the stern. "Well, since I..." I came to a stop, realizing that there was no 'mock' to her outrage. I'd really managed to upset her. "Whoa, Jessica, I'm sorry if I-" "I'm nobody's whore." Then she broke into deep, sobbing tears. Human compassion made me instinctively want to take her in my arms and comfort her, but I figured being grabbed by the perpetrator probably wasn't what she'd want at the moment. I stayed where I was. "Jessica, I was joking. I guess it was a pretty rude joke and I'm sorry, but I think you know I wouldn't intentionally hurt you." She turned her head to look at me with wounded eyes, but I could see in them that she'd heard the honesty in my voice. I moved forward until I was kneeling right behind her and wrapped her in my arms. She stiffened at first, but then relaxed and leaned back against me. I took her with me as I laid back into the raft, then she turned and laid down across me, her head on my shoulder. I soothingly caressed her back. I marveled that this felt so natural. "I guess I came on kind of strong there, huh?" she said. "You had every right to. I implied a nasty thing." I felt her shake her head slightly. "No, you weren't out of bounds. Under normal circumstances it would have been funny. It's just that something happened to me that makes me a bit sensitive about that kind of thing." "I'm willing to listen if you'd like to tell me about it." She sighed. "Okay, I guess it kind of started in middle school. The other girls started getting boobs and periods while all I did was get freakishly tall. By high school, I was half a head higher than anyone else in my freshman class, but my chest was just as flat as when I was ten. I started to get just the first hint of breast development about the time I got my driver's license, but I didn't get my first period until I was seventeen. I didn't go out on a date even once in high school." "I'd have asked you." "You say that, but even as boyish as I look now, I'm positively lush compared to back then. Still, when I arrived at the dorms and I'd actually managed to grow a set of A-cups over the summer, I hoped my love life would change. Unfortunately, the pool of guys that want to date a painfully shy, six foot three accounting geek with a very plain face was actually pretty limited. I still didn't date." I didn't have any idea what I could say to something like that, so I just held her and let her continue. "Last fall, at the beginning of my senior year, I became friends with this guy named Kevin. He sat next to me in one of my accounting classes. He was my height and we actually hit it off. He was cute and I knew from overhearing him talk to his friends that he hooked up a lot, but he also seemed to like me and I figured he was my only real shot at a little romance. I guess it came down to the fact that I figured I was the only actual virgin left on campus and I didn't want that distinction anymore. "He never asked me out, so finally I worked up the courage to ask him what he was doing after class. It was just a week after Randi had gotten cut from the team and I was still living in the house with her, Kim and Trish. He said he was free, so I asked him if he'd like to come over for a while. He looked a little uncertain about it, but he agreed. "Because of how many hookups he'd had, I knew better than to expect any sort of romantic relationship. Still, I was determined to have sex for the first time and I figured he'd know how to deflower me. "I was really nervous by the time we got to my place, but I had him come up to my room with me. We sat on my bed, had a couple of beers and watched TV while we talked for like an hour, then I asked him if he wanted to fool around a little. "That seemed to catch his fancy and he said 'how do you want it?' That seemed a bit abrupt to me and I had no idea, so I told him he could pick. Just like that, he had me bend over my desk. "I guess I was thinking there would be some kissing and touching and maybe a little bit of romance, but he just reached around and undid my pants then slid them down to my knees. I'd worn some lacy panties, but he just pulled them to the side and tried to push into me. I wasn't ready by any means and I could hear his frustration when he grunted. I looked behind me and saw that he was about as big as anything I'd seen in the porno clips that Randi was always watching on the living room TV, but he wasn't very hard. He tried to work it into me, but it just bent instead of going in. He held it straight with his hands and tried to push it in, but he still had no luck. I was dry, and I'm sure I must have been clenched pretty tight, which wasn't helping at all. "Then he saw me looking and seemed to get all embarrassed. He whipped his pants back up and turned to leave. I was at a complete loss, but then he said, 'Sorry, you just don't do anything for me.' Then he walked out. The next day he sat on the other side of the classroom and wouldn't even meet my eyes." "What a jerk." "Yeah, but that's not the really bad part that set me off when I got mad at you." "There's more?" "Yeah, it was a couple of days later. I was in the library and saw Kevin sitting around a table with a few of his frat brothers. They were supposedly studying, but I heard them talking about the girls they'd been with. I was really curious and just couldn't help myself, so I got just on the other side of a stack to listen in. "They were bragging about their conquests like it was some kind of game. From the sound of it, all of them had counts in the double digits at the very least. Then they started to talk about the kind of girls they figured they'd eventually settle down with. The consensus was that none of them would marry one who had been with more than two guys." "What a bunch of hypocrites." "Yeah, especially since my girlfriends who slept with guys like that said they always claimed they were ultimately looking for a girl who had lots of experience." "Did your girlfriends actually believe that?" "Well, yeah. As far as I could tell." "Well, speaking as a guy who hangs around with other guys, there may be a few like that out there, but they're in the vast minority. It's completely unfair, granted, but most guys want to date sluts and marry virgins." "So is that what you want?" That question would have been better phrased in the past tense. "I suppose it's in my nature too, but to me being human means having the willpower to choose when to give in to my baser urges." "Well, these guys had no such willpower that I could see, because they started taking turns bragging about the biggest sluts they'd ever been with. They hadn't mentioned names before, but they did now and I knew most of the girls. I figured Kevin would name one of his many hookups, but when his turn came he named me." "What? You guys never even did it." "Yeah, he told them that I was an 'ugly cunt' for sure, but that I would let a guy do whatever he wanted. He said I was like one of the only ones that let him do it without a condom. Then he told them that I loved to take it up the butt, then lick it off." At that point, she got so choked up that she had to stop. "Oh Jessica, I'm so sorry." I held her for a couple of minutes in silence, sensing that she wanted to say more about it, but needed a chance to gather herself. Finally, she was ready and went on. "I'd heard enough at that point and I came around the end of the stack to confront him. I said it wasn't nice to lie about people and that as a matter of fact, I was still a virgin. He looked stricken for a moment, but he had too much pride to admit to lying about me to his friends. Instead he laughed and said, 'Yeah right. A virgin? Maybe in your left ear.'" "The other guys laughed at that too. If any of them believed me, they sure weren't willing to say so, but then it got a lot worse. I hadn't realized it because his back was to me, but one of the guys at the table was Randi's new boyfriend, Brandon. He looked at me, then turned back to Kevin and said, "Brother, you don't know how right you are. Her own roommate told me that Jessica worked in Vegas for a year as a hooker to get the money to come to school here. Life Raft "They all laughed, like it was some kind of joke, but then he was like, 'Swear to God. Randi showed me a copy of the arrest record!' "I was totally speechless at that point, but another one of the guys looked me up and down like a piece of meat and said, 'Jesus, hooking must have been tough work for a girl who looks like her. She'd be saving for college five bucks at a time!'" Jessica clutched tighter to me. "They all about fell out of their chairs laughing and people from all over the library were staring at me. I realized that the guys had been talking so loud that dozens of people must have heard what they'd said. I couldn't take it anymore and ran out of the library crying." "What a bunch of jerks," I said. "Kevin especially." "Yeah, I wasn't looking forward to having to sit in the same classroom with him anymore, but after that day, he just disappeared. I never saw him again." "Hopefully it was because he was ashamed of what he'd done to you. Randi seems like a real piece of work too." "Yeah, I confronted her about what Brandon had said. She got upset because he wasn't supposed to blab about who showed it to him, but she flat out told me that she was going to post copies everywhere. She dared me to do anything about it." "She's brazen," I said. "I'll give her that." "Yeah, I moved out that weekend, but within days, Photoshopped mug shots with my supposed arrest records for prostitution started to show up on social media all over the place. Randi must have spent some time on it because it looked quite official. "After that, people around campus would give me strange looks, like I was indeed a prostitute. Guys I'd never met would walk up to me and seriously offer me money for sex. The frat guys nicknamed me 'Five' because of the 'five bucks' comment and it stuck. I pretty much withdrew into volleyball and my studies at that point and swore off the idea of ever dating again." "That must have been hellish. I can completely understand why you got upset at me." "I appreciate your understanding, but again, it wasn't your fault." She took a deep breath, then continued. "But enough of that. Moving on to the here and now, I couldn't help noticing something about what happened when I, um, handled you." "You mean about what didn't happen?" "Yeah, I'm not exactly experienced, but since you say you're not gay, I am kind of wondering. Is it me?" "Jessica, it's most emphatically not you, it's me. I'm really sorry if it's seemed like I was leading you on, but I'm profoundly impotent." She slid her lotion-slicked body off of me and I expected her to go huddle in the stern, as far from me as she could get. There's just something that most people find instinctively icky about the idea of a man who can't get it up. Instead, and to my complete shock, she reached down and took my limp member in her hand. That would have been the last thing I would have expected, but I immediately understood her gesture. She was emphatically showing her acceptance of me as a person, despite my disability. It was probably the kindest thing a woman had ever done for me. "Is it something you can discuss?" she asked in a low, calm voice. Unaccountably, I found myself willing to tell her about what had happened. "Sex and I have had a strange relationship," I began. Her eyebrows went up. "How so?" "Well, I was a complete nerd in high school, preferring to read books about sex than to risk asking a girl for a date." "I doubt you were alone there. What kind of books?" "Huh?" "Well, even knowing you for as short a time as I have, I'd guess they weren't just porn." "Well, some of them were of course, but you're right. I became something of an expert on the Masters and Johnson book, then the Kinsey Studies. Then I really got in to the Tantric stuff and I taught myself how to control and channel my sexual energy." "Which means?" "Well, I got to where I was in tune with my state of arousal and had really good control of it. Basically, I could maintain an erection almost indefinitely and consciously decide when to allow myself to climax. I hoped I'd be able to really satisfy a woman someday." "Those sound like good skills to have." I shrugged. "I was painfully shy, so I didn't get a chance to use them until early in my senior year of college. That's when I met Amanda. I was at a Saturday night party that a roommate of mine dragged me to. I thought she was really cute, but it took all the courage I could muster to ask her to dance. I'd never actually danced with a girl before, but fortunately, I'd taught myself from some instructional videos and didn't embarrass myself too badly." "Let me make sure I've got this right," Jessica said. "You learned how to dance and make love all on your own?" "Pretty nerdy, huh?" "Yeah, but it's what I did too." "You studied Tantra?" "No," she said with a smile, "but I did learn to dance from videos." "What a nerd!" Jessica giggled. I loved that sound. "Anyway, Amanda and I danced together for most of the night. That was like the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me. Then she totally blew me away when she said she wanted to be alone with me. I was aware that this could all be some kind of setup, but by then I didn't particularly care. Having a woman show that kind of interest in me was a completely life-changing deal. "There was nowhere private at the party, so we went out to my car and drove to a nearby park. I'd hoped my first time would be more romantic, but she was in a hurry and I wasn't about to turn her down. We did it right there on the passenger seat. "I managed to make a good enough impression that over the next month she visited my apartment every few days. Then it became every night and we moved in together. "It seemed like we had a lot in common as far as our life goals, wanting kids, and a lot of other stuff, but we were different in some other ways. She was from a fairly rich family and liked to do stuff like skydiving and rock climbing, and she even had her private pilot's license. She drove a sports car like she was at Le Mans, while I putted around in an old four-door Camry. My thrills tended to be a bit more cerebral, but we still got along well. We got married a week after we graduated, then moved down here for my job." "That actually sounds pretty nice." "It wasn't perfect, but I figured we were doing pretty well. Then we drove to Pennsylvania to be with her folks in Philly for our first Christmas as a married couple. Amanda was six months pregnant." "Wow, you guys didn't waste any time." "We were going to wait a few years, but Amanda wasn't always consistent about taking the pill. Still, we were both pretty stoked about becoming parents. Unfortunately, we were stuck on the folding couch in the living room of her folk's house because her older brother and sister were home too with their spouses and kids. Out of desperation, we went out 'shopping' one night with the intention of getting a motel room for a quickie. Then I had the bright idea that we should revisit the park where we did it the first time. "Amanda said she was scared because the park was in a pretty sketchy neighborhood, but I managed to talk her into it. Then, when we were almost done, some freak yanked the passenger door open, pointed a gun at us, and told us not to move. Neither of us had noticed him approaching and I'd thought the car doors were locked. "The guy seemed to be all business at first, demanding our wallets and phones. I was able to hand him our stuff, but then it got a little weird. He said he wanted to watch us finish up." "Oh shit," Jessica murmured tensely, as if she were there and seeing it for herself. "Well, he was the one with the gun and he looked dead serious about it, so Amanda started to move on me again. I was still hard enough that we were actually doing it, but I figured I'd fake coming and we'd get rid of him. But then he dropped his pants and demanded that Amanda jerk him off at the same time. Worse, I'd insisted that Amanda get topless for me so I could play with her breasts. He was squeezing them while he held the gun on her." I came to a stop then. "Jessica, I've never told this next part to anyone, not even the police. It was too horrible and what I did was so wrong." Somehow, having Jessica there with me, the two of us naked and totally exposed to each other, made me feel like it was something I might actually talk about. Jessica's willingness to tell the brutal truth about what had happened to her made me want to be just as honest with her. "Sean, I'll keep it completely confidential if it's something you're willing to talk about." I nodded, then went on. "Amanda was obviously scared, I'm sure as much for me and our baby as herself. I was scared to death for them too, but in some ugly, perverted way, I also found the situation highly erotic and I actually felt myself approaching climax. Amanda knew my signals well enough and faked an orgasm as I came. "That put the thug over the top as well and he ejaculated all over her skirt. As soon as I came, I was ashamed of myself, but I figured the punk had gotten his loot and his thrills, so that would be the end of it. Instead, he took one step back and shot each of us in the head with his 9mm." "Oh my God!" Jessica exclaimed. "Amanda was killed instantly, but mine was a glancing shot that just creased my skull and knocked me unconscious. He apparently emptied his gun into us at that point. He hit her six more times, but I was somewhat protected by the fact that she was lying on top of me. It was dark and he was wearing a mask, so he was never caught." "Sean, I'm so sorry." "One of the bullets lodged in my lower spine. After what had happened to Amanda and our baby, I didn't particularly care. I thought being paralyzed wouldn't be nearly enough punishment for what I'd done. Still, the surgeons went in the next afternoon and removed the bullet. That relieved the pressure on my spinal cord, and while I was left impotent, it returned the full use of my legs. The bullet, though, it..." I'd felt it building, but now the guilt and pain washed over me in an unstoppable wave and for the first time since my childhood, I actually began to cry. Even after their deaths, I hadn't been able to let go and do that. Part of me said I should be ashamed of losing it like that in front of Jessica, but the rest of me knew that with her, it was all right. Jessica instinctively scooted up and held my head to her chest. I was grateful that she didn't try and tell me that it was okay, or that it hadn't been my fault. Still, I had to get that one, last horrible thing out there in the open. "That bullet," I sobbed, "it had been slowed down just enough not to paralyze me for good." I willed myself to tell her. "It was because it went through Amanda... and our baby girl. I'm the one that should have died, not them. I... I shot my wad because I thought it was so hot having some pervert have fun with Amanda while I fucked her. Jesus, how is it fair that they died and I lived?" Jessica held me until I got myself back under control. "I'm sorry I just laid that on you," I murmured. "With everything that's happened to you today, it was the last thing you needed." "No Sean, I don't think you could have done me any greater honor than to have trusted me enough to let me be the one to hear it." We stayed still like that for another minute or two. "When I woke in the hospital afterward," I finally continued, "I didn't remember anything of what happened after we left the house. Amanda's father came to see me the next day in my hospital room. He's a psychiatrist and he helped step me through it little by little until I was finally able to put the story together and regain those memories." "Her father, huh?" "Yeah, he was a big help." "I'm sure he loved his daughter very much." "Of course he did." I was starting to wonder where Jessica was going with this. "Look, Sean, was Amanda's dad concerned about her risky behavior?" "Well, I suppose any father would worry for the safety of his child." "But it sounds to me like Amanda really liked to live life on the edge. I'm guessing she had thrill issues." I saw where Jessica was going with this and I didn't like it. "But-" "Then there's you, Sean. It didn't take me long to figure out that you're a very sober, thoughtful, polite and cautious kind of guy. You've always been that way, not just since the shooting, right?" "I suppose, but if you're saying that I-" "I'm saying that a guy who drove a Camry in college, was a virgin until his senior year, and carries a first aid kit on a tubing trip is not a major risk taker. Even your choice in sports -- swimming -- tells me a lot about your risk-averse attitude toward life." She could see the hurt look on my face, but it was true. "Wait, Sean, all that may sound like a put down, but it's not. I'm the same way and I think being sober and cautious has a whole lot to recommend it. This world could use a lot more guys like you. If you hadn't been so well prepared, I'd have been screwed. It's not that you're scared of risky activities, it's that you didn't feel the need to do them." "That's all very nice, Jessica, and I suppose it's true as far as it goes, but you're obviously going somewhere with this." She took a deep breath. "Yeah, I think the story you just told me is total bullshit." "What?" "Sean, there's no way in hell you would have taken your pregnant wife into such a dangerous situation. You're just not that kind of man." "What, you're such an expert? I was there. Do you actually think you somehow know better than I do what really happened?" I was downright angry now, though not so angry as to pull out of her embrace. "Look, Sean, do you think I would say something so hurtful to you just for the fun of it?" I was silent for a good five or ten count. "No," I sighed at last, "you wouldn't intentionally hurt me. No more than I would intentionally hurt you." "Then please trust me on this. I just want to step you through it." I really didn't want to go there, and if we hadn't been stuck together on the raft, I'd have excused myself and walked away. Still, there was a part of me that was now interested in where this was going. "Okay, Jessica. Just what is it that you want me to do?" "Tell me the whole story. I want every detail you can remember, clear from the beginning. Close your eyes and try to put yourself back into that evening." I was torn, but did as she asked. It was the Saturday before Christmas and we had just finished a casual dinner with Amanda's family. It was still relatively early and she said she wanted to do some Christmas shopping. I thought we'd bought everything already, but Amanda loved to shop. I didn't mind the idea that much actually, because I had a little mischief in mind. It had been five days since we'd had the opportunity to make love and frankly, I was as horny as hell. I told her so when we got in my car. She smiled patiently, as always, ready to accommodate my desires. "How about a motel room for an hour or so?" she suggested. "I was thinking of something a little more exciting," I said. "What do you say we go back to that same spot at the park and recreate our first time?" "But Sean, we were drunk and what we did that night was crazy. The neighborhood's not good and it certainly hasn't gotten any better in the last year." "Oh come on, it's not that bad. We'll be quick and we can keep the doors locked." "Sean, you know how much I like making love with you, but now that the baby is on her way, I don't think it's a wise idea. Let's just get a room." "Oh come on, hon," I said. "I need a little more excitement. The last five days have been tough on me. Earlier I had to slip into the bathroom with my dildo and-" "Your WHAT?" I stopped and opened my eyes, now fully conscious of being back on the raft with Jessica. "My..." I realized what had just come out of my mouth. "Sean, I'm going to go way out on a limb here and guess that you don't masturbate with a dildo." I hardly heard her through the hurricane of utter turmoil in my mind. I closed my eyes tight as I tried to concentrate and dig down to the truth of what had really happened that night. The pieces of it were there, securely carved in the bedrock of my mind, but they'd been covered in the debris. Now at last, I could see a corner of that truth, but I wasn't sure I could stand the pain of scraping all of the detritus away. I barely felt it as Jessica's fingers ran soothingly through my hair. I vaguely felt my lower lip brushing against her soft nipple, but my mind was elsewhere. "Please, Sean. Tell me what you're seeing." Jessica's soothing voice was a cooling balm on my soul and I felt myself finally able to see what had happened with clarity. The memories had been there for a long time, but I'd been much more comfortable with the idea that it had been my fault than the reality that Amanda had actually done what she'd done. I dug deep and confronted the truth for the first time. "You brought your dildo?" I said to Amanda. "Sure, I knew we wouldn't be able to do it as much as we like if we were stuck on the hide-a-bed." "Look, we can even spend the night in the motel if you want. Let's call your folks and tell them we'll be back in the morning." "Sean, I've been fantasizing about going back to that spot since the first time we did it. This is probably our last chance." Whether it was giving up my virginity in the front seat of a car, confessing to my scandalized parents who my college roommate actually was, or moving to the desert because the job paid just a little bit better than the one nearer home, Amanda had always been able to bend me to her will. We were still good in bed, but the things we had in common otherwise had turned out to be fewer than I'd thought. I'd started to wonder if I'd made a real mistake by marrying her. But now, with a child on the way, I'd tried to put those thoughts on a shelf. "Okay, Amanda," I said, realizing as always that resistance was futile, "we're going to get in and out of there quickly. The doors will be locked and the moment we're done, we're long gone." "You worry too much, Sean." She said that a lot. The park appeared to be deserted when we pulled into our spot. "Let's do it just like our first time," she said. So I scooted over to the passenger seat and leaned it back a ways. Then I slid my pants down to my knees. The cautious part of my mind had a real problem with what we were doing, but the horny part was ready as always. That had been part of my draw to a girl who liked to have as much sex as Amanda did. I could be ready to go at a moment's notice, then continue for as long as she needed, which could be a long time. Amanda was ready too, and settled down over me, making the connection easily without having to use her hands. She'd evidently forgone any panties under her skirt and I was soon buried inside her. At only five foot two, she had plenty of headroom in the car for this. She began to grind her hips in a circular motion, which was really good for her, though not nearly as good for me as the good old in and out. I just wanted us to get done, so I reached down to hold her hips and began to thrust up into her, being careful as always not to go too deep and hurt her. She was a little disappointed at first, because she really preferred the grinding thing and I normally let her do it to her heart's content, but when I reached under her skirt and diddled her clit with the pad of my thumb, she was somewhat mollified.