0 comments/ 32719 views/ 1 favorites Lord of the Rings: Bifur By: jthserra DISCLAIMER: The story is a fictional parody - it's not true, nor is it approved of by the celebrities named in the stories. Authors write these fictitious stories about famous people for the same reason that Larry Flynt made fun of Jerry Falwell, because they can. The Supreme Court of the United States, the country where this site is located, has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution. The specific case law on this was decided in the case of "Hustler Magazine, Inc. et al. v. Jerry Falwell" in 1988. No harm is intended toward the celebrities featured in these stories, but they are public figures and in being so, they must accept that they are fair target for parodies by the public. We believe in the first amendment, and more broadly, in the basic principle of free speech and this section may push the boundaries of that principle, but the United States Supreme Court has approved of this type of material. We believe that the Supreme Court was correct in their decision. * * * * * Lord of the Rings: Bifur Lúthien heard the strains of the clarinet, as she walked through the dark streets and immediately set out to find from where the music was coming. More importantly, as the music tingled over her body, she told herself she had to find the musician. Pausing in the street in an attempt to get her bearings she let her hands run down her body, her palms sliding over her nipples, teasing them. Yes, she needed to find the source of this music. She moved northward and happily the music grew louder and louder. Finally after wander past the doors of several taverns, she stood just outside a very old building with a sign so faded she couldn’t read it. Normally she would never have noticed a place like this and if she did, she surely would not enter, but the intoxication music and the sheer sexual energy it fueled inside her drew her inside. The tavern was dark, so Luthien paused, letting her eyes adjust as she listened to a quartet as they played music she had never heard before. Glancing up to the small stage she finally got a peek at the band, three elves and a dwarf moved and played in a mesmerizing cacophony of pure energy. She sat down after finding a table, ordered some wine and looked closer at the band. Actually she looked closer at the clarinet player, a short dwarf whose face looked familiar to her. His hair was light, almost the exact color of Luthien’s long tresses. It rolled down over his shoulders, combining with his beard that hung down over his stomach nearly to the floor. The black clarinet seemed to spring out from a long rug of fur, swaying rhythmically as the dwarf played. She asked the waiter who the clarinet player was when he brought her wine and he replied, “That good lady is the famous Bifur, one of the great conquerors of Smaug.” “Bifur?” “Yes ma’am, one of the famed ‘Unexpected Party.’ “I just knew he looked familiar. Can you take him a drink and ask him to sit with me when he takes a break?” she asked, placing a coin in the waiter’s palm. Slowly closing his fingers over the money, he replied, “I would be delighted to ma’am.” Crossing her legs, Luthien felt the wetness that had been welling up inside her since she first heard that sensuous clarinet music. She sipped her wine, listening to the music and wondering if she could ever seduce such a famed person. Never having been with a dwarf before, she wondered if the rumors of their disproportionate anatomy were true. Focusing her attention toward Bifur, she noticed the waiter placing a drink on a stool near him and pointing to her. The waiter leaned and said something in Bifur’s ear and without missing a note, the dwarf looked at her and nodded enthusiastically. Listening, Luthien felt herself becoming more and more aroused at the band and especially the fair haired dwarf pulsed through the erotic strains of their music. She sipped at her wine, fantasizing about the short dwarf and the size of his member and by the time the band took a break, she had already paid the waiter for a room upstairs. “Hi, thank you for the drink, you do get thirsty up there,” Bifur said, sitting across from her. “You play so well… no, you play magically. You don’t know what the music does to me. I am Luthien, by the way.” “Yes, pardon my rudeness, I am Bifur, cousin to Bombur and Bofur.” “Yes, the waiter told me who you were.” “Luthien? Is that like in...” “Lúthien Tinuviel, yes, I am named after her, she is a distant relative, cousin or aunt or something.” “Ah, I think I see a family resemblance,” Bifur said, smiling. “You know her?” “I met her once, on one of my journeys.” “I... I don’t want too seem too forward, but... I have a room, would you like to go where it is quieter?” A pleased look came over his face as he said, “Yes, I have about half an hour before I need to come back and play, some quiet would be nice.” Finishing her wine, Luthien stood and took Bifur’s hand, leading him up the curving staircase. They walked to room three and with a bit of clumsy fumbling, she unlocked the door and they stepped inside. Bifur politely followed her into the room, closed the door and moved toward a chair. Luthien grabbed his arm and pulled him to her saying, “Gentle dwarf, you are very polite, but we only have a short time and I must have you.” He immediately reached a hand up and clasped her breast whispering, “Since you entered the tavern I ached to touch these.” Moving to the bed, Luthien sat down and kissed him hard, noticing his beard beginning to bulge. Sliding onto the floor, she slid her hand between the soft beard and touched his cock trying to gage the enormity of it. Bifur reached in, unfastened his pants and eased his massive erection out of his pants. Moving her hands over it she found it took both hands to fully circle its girth. Reaching for his balls she saw it was nearly the length of her forearm. Bifur reached under her arms and lifted her off the floor and placed her on the bed. He lifted her skirt and quickly removed her undergarments. Moving his face between her legs, he let his beard trail up her tender thighs. Breathing deeply, he took in her earthy fragrance and then reached his hands to her and gently spread her lips. Even in the faint light her pussy glistened in anticipation. Playing her like a golden clarinet, he dipped his tongue into her delicious opening, drinking the abundance of her desire. His hands moved under her, grasping her ass and lifting her to him. He lapped his tongue into her and then up the cleft to her clit, repeating his motion here and back again as she writhed beneath him. Luthien listened to the slurping sounds that Bifur made, a music as incredible as his clarinet playing. She came, moaning in unison with his symphony, arching her hips and grinding against his face. Bifur waited until she relaxed, easing back onto the bed and then he leapt onto her, moving his massive cock between her widespread legs and working it around her wet, wet opening. He heard her say, “Careful, I don’t want you to split me in half. Here let me help you.” He felt her fingers take him and guide him slowly into her, her heavenly folds opened to him, straining wetly over his enormity. Moving slowly so not to hurt her, he continued his rhythm and as he felt her respond raising to meet him, he increased the speed of his thrusts. He plunged again and again into her, filling her like she had never been filled before. In just moments he groaned and pressed so deeply into her that a wave of burning pain shot from her insides. Bifur arched his back, spilling his dwarven cum deep, deep inside her. She felt his cock quiver with each spasm and wondered if he was ever going to finishing coming when there was a sudden knock on the door. “Bifur, are you in there? It’s time to play,” came the voice. “I am not ready to leave you,” he whispered, "I haven’t finished yet." Wondering what else he could magnificently do to her, she thought a moment and then whispered, “Our hair, it’s the same color… quick hide beneath me.” She moved him onto the floor standing at the foot of the bed. She then draped her hair over him, letting it fall over his beard. Bifur eased his head back, letting her long hair cover his face. Luthien looked down and confirmed he was well hidden and then shouted toward the door, “Bifur is not here, he left already.” “Good lady, I know he is in there, there is no other way out.” “I promise sir, he is gone.” “We would have seen him.” “Do you want to come in and see that he is not here?” “Ah...” “Come in, I am discreetly covered.” Three elves walked into the room and looked around the sparse furnishings. One kneeled on the floor and confirmed no one was under the bed. “You see, he is not here,” she said, wiggling a bit as Bifur toyed with her breasts. “I apologize good lady. We best be off gentle elves.” “Please close the door…” Luthien stopped mid sentence as she saw all three staring at her hair with astonished looks on their faces. Wondering what caught their attention she glanced down. Slowly rising, parting the light colored hair was the still glistening head of Bifur’s cock. “Good lady, either you are something more than a good lady or our Bifur is hidden in your silken locks.” “Gentle elves! I am surprised at your audacity,” she said as indignantly as possible. “What I wear under my dress is none of your concern.” “Good lady, it appears you wear Bifur under those tresses.” She was ready to defend her honor and her cock when Bifur spoke and magically appeared in the mass of hair dangling at the foot of the bed, “Ah my friends, my cock has betrayed me once again. Give me a moment and I will be down to play.” The three elves marched out of the room as Bifur turned to Luthien and said, “Give me a moment and I will be back again to play.” He quickly pulled on his pants and shirt, leaned and gave her a long kiss. “Listen for the music, I will play for you, only you.” Luthien lay back on the bed, pulling the quilt over her. She could hear the elves warming up and soon, the sensuous clarinet of Bifur caressed her once again.