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Stockholm Syndrome Ch. 04-07

By: Addicted2Writing



CHAPTER FOUR

The rest of dinner went smoothly, and the conversation was even better. It was either because I was feeling more comfortable with him or the three glasses of wine (which Alex had poured without asking me) had done the trick. I teased him a little, asked if he was trying to get me drunk. He never denied it. 

I hadn't immediately realized that the light Alex was slowly being bathed in was the sun going down behind me. His face was absolutely glowing, softer, and if it were possible he appeared even more better looking.

When Fredrik returned he asked how everything was, and if we wanted dessert. "Alex, do they have anything with cloudberry?"

Before he could answer, Fredrik turned his attention to me. "You must try Hjortronparfait." I didn't get the first part of the word, but I understood parfait very well. "Two layers of yellow cake with cloudberry preserves, topped with cloudberry liqueur with a ... er, um, scoop of vanilla ice cream."

I thought, no more alcohol, please! "Alex, did you want something else or would you like to split it with me?"

"That sounds good," he replied, but his terse tone was back. 

"Can I get some coffee, too?" I asked Alex.

He grinned. "Of course, you light-weight."

"You won't be disappointed. I'll be right back with your desserts and coffees." Fredrik left with our empty plates.

I hadn't taken my eyes off of Alex, and his eyebrows furled. I ignored it. "I've been trying to sample all the native foods while I've been up here. Cloudberry is the only one I haven't tried. I could have—" He sat there pouting, sipping his beer. "What's wrong?" I asked, though I thought I knew what it was.

"I don't remember asking for coffee," he spurted. 

I sat there for a second, shocked. "Alex, seriously. There's no need to be jealous."

"I'm not." He finished his fourth beer.

I did the only thing I could think of to get him off his high horse and make him stop acting like a jerk. I reached over and covered his hand with mine. Leaning in, I whispered, smiling reassuringly, "Alex, he's not the one I'm leaving with." I impressed even myself with that comment.

His eyes shot to mine, and he stared at me for the longest time. Instantly I grew uncomfortable and took my hand away. "Sorry. You're right," he said genuinely, his warm smile slowly returning. "Did you just come up with that?"

"No. I heard it in a movie once." He laughed and seemed to calm down. "I didn't think you Virgos were the jealous type. That's us Scorpios."

"Please don't tell me you're into that psychic shit."

"I'm into that psychic shit. I do palm reading and tarot cards, too, just for fun." It took a second for him to smile. "Did I lose a brownie point?"

"Yes, you did."

"Damn," I giggled. 

Fredrik came with dessert and the coffees. The parfait was good but a little more tart than I thought it would be. Finally it was time to leave, and thankfully Alex behaved himself, and did indeed tip Fredrik. "Wait, I want to show you something," he said as he pulled out my chair. 

I followed him to a deck just outside the restaurant, where I immediately noticed the sun setting behind the buildings across from us. We were immersed in sunlight, but it wasn't too bright not to appreciate the view. The sky above the huge ball of the sun went from red to orange to yellow then to a faint light blue. "Wow. I can't believe how different the sunsets are in different parts up here."

"Yeah, the view is amazing." I noticed he was looking at me when he said that. Turning back to the sky he added, "I was hoping we'd be out of here in time for you to see this." Just then another couple came on the deck, and Alex moved closer to me. "You're shivering, with the wind up here. Do you need the shawl?"

I highly doubted it was the cold that made me shiver, considering it wasn't cold at all. Peering endlessly up at him, I replied, "No, thanks. You're keeping me safe and warm." At that moment I knew I'd had enough to drink for the night.

He grinned almost shyly. I was surprised he was jealous, but more surprised how shy he was in not being able to accept a compliment. He put his elbows on the railing and bent over a little. "There's this place I like to go that has the most astounding sunsets. I've been going there since I was a kid."

I wanted to ask him to take me there the following night, but I had to keep in mind that that moment, the next couple of hours, really, were the only time we'd have together.

He lightly swept his shoulder against mine. "Let's get going. Rain's heading in. We don't want to get caught in it."

I looked at him dumbfounded. "Alex, it's beautiful out here. It won't rain. Are you psychic?" I teased.

"No," he said with a wink. "Weatherman."

I couldn't help but laugh before he led me back into the restaurant and toward the door to the elevator. As we passed our waiter on the way out the door, Fredrik said to Alex something like, "duh tvah gore et packet par." I just figured he was talking about the parfait. But something was odd. Alex had stiffened, and his cheeks appeared to blush.

After we got on the elevator, alone, I asked him what Fredrik had said. He hesitated then replied, "He told me we make a nice-looking couple."

I seriously wished I hadn't asked.

---------------

It being a Friday night, the streets were packed with partiers scouting the tons of bars as we walked the block to the IceBar, and it was only nine. Music filled the streets, not one song I recognized. The sun had almost set, though I was surprised it was still fairly light outside. 

I was too busy looking around to talk to Alex, and he seemed to be in his own little world anyway. I wasn't sure if it was the comment that upset him or something else. I'd learned my lesson not to ask questions if I didn't want to hear the answer. He had many quiet moments, most made me wonder ... "What are you thinking?" Oh, hell. What the hell did I say that out loud for? I admonished myself.

He promptly shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at his feet. "Intighet," he muttered.

"What?" Thank god he hadn't heard me. "Alex, come on. Lighten up," I fussed, skipping just ahead of him and turned to face him, walking backwards. "You pitched such a fit that I have a good time." He put his arm out quickly, but I didn't take it. "Stop moping over some stupid wai—OW!" I'd run into something hard and tall, a metal 'bong' sounded from behind me, my head screaming at me.

"Carrie, are you alright?!" Alex asked as he grabbed my arm and pulled me to him.

"Ow! Damn it, Alex! Why didn't you stop me?" I yelled, rubbing the back of my head. 

"I tried!" he replied, trying not to laugh. "You veered off to the right and ... I did put my hand out."

"Not quick enough!" Looking up at him I was about to keep yelling, but his grin made me laugh. "So much for keeping me safe." He laughed, grabbed the back of my neck and kissed the top of my head. "That kiss doesn't make up—" 

I was stopped cold, again, when his smile faded, and he looked long and deep into my eyes. "Will this?" he asked, leaned over, pressed my head to him and kissed me softly on my lips. 

By reflex I closed my eyes, my whole body woke up, and I sobered right up from my just-beginning buzz. I hated it. I absolutely freaking hated how I felt. 

"Carrie?" I heard him say and opened my eyes. "Sorry, but I've been wanting to kiss you since I met you at the hotel." My mind was completely gone. "Say something, damn it." He removed his hand and stuck his hands back in his pockets. I felt like a shit.

"Why?" Why? I had to ask. What the hell is wrong with me?! "Alex, I didn't mean—"

"I get it," he muttered. "Sorry."

I frowned, mad at myself, but more mad at him for apologizing. "No, no. Don't be. I just meant ... Why? Why me?"

"I don't know," he replied, sighing heavily.

He looked around uncomfortably, and I followed his eyes to a bench. I pulled his hand out of his pocket, pulling him behind me; he didn't resist at all. He stood until I sat down. "What's going on with you? You've done a complete turn-around since dinner." He shrugged his shoulders. "Yes, you do. Alex, I'm sorry I misjudged you. You're not who I thought you were. But look, I'm twelve years older than you, eighty pounds overweight and sure as shit don't belong with someone like you—"

"Someone like me? What the hell does that mean?" he asked, looking at me; though his voice didn't sound angry his eyes did. 

I exhaled heavily. "Okay, on an episode of 'House' he had a male patient with a great-looking wife. He was a two, the wife was a ten. House theorized the two didn't belong together. A ten marries a ten. Not that we're getting married, but, my point is, like I said, I'm way out of your league."

"Do you know what attracts me to a woman?" He turned his body toward me, seemingly towering over me. "It's not her damned bra size or how good she is in bed or how pretty she is. It's her strength, her sense of humor, being open-minded, someone that's intelligent and knows what she wants out of life. I know little about you as well, but what I do know is you're all that, and your smile ... touches me. I'm sorry if I went too far."

"You ... you didn't, at all!" I had to take a second to get my thoughts together. I was sorry I even started it. "I'm not angry you kissed me. I'm glad you did, actually. But what you don't know about me is I'm not 'that girl.' I've had one night stands but they didn't mean anything; they weren't fulfilling, you know? I don't ... I like you, but—" I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. 

"Are you scared too?" he asked, his voice sounding like that of a confused teenaged boy.

"I ... yeah. But why are we?" I sighed heavily.

"I don't know. The unknown, maybe."

I thought for a second. "That makes sense, sort of."

"So, where does that leave us?"

I had no clue, but for the moment I wasn't going to waste my evening with him. "Let's get drunk," I told him as I stood and grabbed his hand again.

He looked up at me. "That's dangerous territory."

"Yeah, the great, dangerous unknown," I said sarcastically yet lightly. "Screw it. I'm on vacation." He smiled slowly and stood up, not letting go of my hand. 

We headed back down the sidewalk hand in hand, and it felt like I was walking in quick sand. "Alex," I whispered, looking straight ahead. When I felt him peering down at me I told him, "That was a great kiss."

"Yeah, I know." I hit him on his forearm playfully. "Ow! I'm gonna bruise," he grumbled. "Vampires aren't supposed to bruise."

"Oh, hush. Just have your make-up person cover it up."

We took a few more steps. "Carrie?"

"Yes, Alex."

"Thanks."

I smiled, knowing what he meant. "You're welcome."

The time we had at the IceBar was the best fun I'd had in a long time. It was just as I expected it: ice walls, ice bar, ice chairs and benches, drinks served in ice glasses -- more specifically my three shots of peach Schnapps and his 'I lost count' shots of Whiskey. Only an hour had passed, we had done a little dancing just to warm up (no slow dance), laughing and teasing. 

We settled down on the sheep-skinned covered ice bench, a wool blanket wrapped around Alex, enveloping me as I sat between his legs. We both liked to people watch, and I happened to notice a group of people with their hands flying. "Alex, that's Swedish sign language."

He didn't reply for a moment. "How do you know?"

"Because I know American Sign Language. It's the same in some ways, but, hey, look. Wow, that's got to be killer on the wrists. It's much more animated than ours."

"Do you know what they're saying?"

"Hell, no." I laughed. "I mean I could guess at some signs because it all originated by the French, and some are similar, even British sign is."

"How do you know sign language?"

"I have a deaf friend and took classes. I wanted to be an interpreter, but that lasted about a month." I suddenly got a chill, and he hugged me tighter. "This is nice, Alex."

"Nah. You're just drunk."

"Oh, not even." I pushed my head back and up so I could look at him. "Can we get out of here, though? I'm freezing, and if I stayed here much longer I'm going to fall asleep on you." Oops, maybe I am a little drunkerer than I thought. It's definitely time to get out of his arms.

CHAPTER FIVE

As cold as it was in the bar, it felt even colder outside, and it was damp, like rain was coming in. I kept the shawl around me, and Alex eventually put his arm around me, slowing down our pace. "Alex, would you stay the night? I mean, if you're not doing anything else—" Oh, yeah. It was clear I was a goner.

He stopped me and peered down and me, a look of confusion on his face. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

I forced myself to look into his eyes, my body starting to shake. "Alex, I don't have many regrets in my life, and I don't want you to be one of them."

Walking back to the hotel we were both quiet. I was complicating what my true intentions were when we got to the room -- more specifically whether or not I'd be able to go through what I had in mind when I asked him to stay in the first place. Thankfully Alex broke the silence when he asked what I was doing the following day.

"I'm going to Djurgarden. I just love how there are little oasises on islands all over, and each has its own vibe. I was thinking about the zoo, too. I've got the car for one more day so I may as well use it. Or there's Angso National Park."

"You'll just have to stay a few more days, won't you?"

"Oh, no. I can't. I'm not looking forward to going back to work, but I've got tons of reports due."

"That's a shame. Would you like some company tomorrow, wherever you go?"

I was really excited he'd asked and smiled. He was great to hang out with, and I wanted nothing more -- almost nothing more -- than to say yes. I was about to when I said, "I thought you had those scripts to look over."

He groaned. "Yeah, you're right." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

A little piece of my heart chipped away. I grabbed his wrist, pulled it out and held his hand, swinging it back and forth playfully. "Aw, Alex. You can come. I'd really like you to."

"No, no," he muttered. "It's okay." His arm was stiff at first, but eventually he went along with it.

"You have to come with me." He shook his head. "Oh, stop! Don't make me beg." I wasn't sure if he was fighting to hide a smile. "Please, pretty please?!" 

He did grin; he was messing with me. I promptly smacked his upper arm. "Damn, woman!" he laughed. 

"Baby," I spat jokingly. Rain suddenly and heavily swept up the street, though we had just walked under an awning of a shop. "Crap." I could see the hotel across the street. "We almost made it." 

Alex took my elbow and pulled me further under the awning until my back was against the window display, not letting go but stood protectively by me. He was so close I could feel the heat coming off of him; it permeated my body, staved the damp, chilly night air. My body ached for him at that moment, wanting to taste his kiss, feel his arms around me. 

Looking only at his collarbone, for fear of seeing the rejection in his eyes, I barely whispered. "Alex, I want to kiss you so bad right now." I knew with a clear head exactly what I was saying.

"So what's stopping you?"

"I can't reach them."

"Well, then. I shall have to remedy that," he cooed, slowly leaning down closer to me. 

As he did I'd inhaled, not realizing I held it until I slowly let it out. My eyes trailed to his, and my heart started to pound. I'd seen a few scenes he'd done when he'd kiss a woman, and it was so assertive and determined, not to mention hot as hell, that that's how I expected him to kiss me. But he didn't. He kept his hand on my elbow, only moving it slightly to my forearm before his brushed his lips against mine, as softly as he had done earlier when I ran into the pole. This time, however, he didn't pull back so quickly. 

I closed my eyes, my lips opened slightly as his did, and he pressed them harder to mine. The pit of my stomach churned when I heard him growl, and I returned the compliment. My hand had a mind of its own as it ran up the front of his jacket to his neck, cupping it, gently massaging and kneading his skin. He huddled against me before both of his hands were on my cheeks, lightly moving my head left then right as he took control of my mouth. 

I slid my hands behind his neck before wrapping my arms around it, the tips of my fingers running through the loose strands of hair at the base. Goosebumps sprang to his skin. With that, I rapidly lost all feeling in my legs and they buckled, but I wasn't about to, or willing to stop what we were doing. Apparently, it was enough for Alex to. He pulled back, and only after several seconds of feeling like I was being watched did I open my eyes. His cheeks were flushed, and the grin on his face was indescribable. Neither one of us said anything as we looked over each other's faces.

"Carrie," he finally croaked, but didn't say anything else, his breathing was heavy.

"Yeah, wow."

"No. Oh, yeah! Yeah. No, that was incredible. It's just, uh ... If you want ... I don't have, uh, do you ..."

I couldn't help but chuckle at his stuttering, though I was completely oblivious. "What, Alex?"

His eyes brightened, then he said, "Oh! Never mind."

"What?!" I asked, getting a little angry he wouldn't just come out and say it. Then it dawned on me. "No, I don't have any condoms. I meant to pack them in case I came across a hot Norwegian so I could cross that off my bucket List, but I forgot them." He laughed. "You can get some?" He nodded. "Okay." I could have given him a 'This wasn't my intention but I really want to fuck you so I'm glad it worked out' speech, but then wasn't the time to overthink shit.

We both turned toward the street, and I was pissed there was no sign of the rain stopping. I didn't want to stand there for hours waiting, and apparently neither did Alex when he said, "Beat you to the hotel."

"Yes, you will."

He threw his head back and laughed. "Very true, shorty. I'll give you a head start."

"Nah, I don't need—" Without finishing my sentence I ran to the corner, briefly paused to look for cars before crossing the street. Right as I reached the curb on the other side I heard a low, deep 'whoosh.' Water splashed over both of my feet and pants legs to my knees, then I saw a tall, lean figure run past me, taunting me. "Hey! Cheater!" I screamed as I followed him to the top of the stairs of the hotel. "That was sooo low!"

I stomped my feet, which basically did nothing to get rid of the water. Finally I looked up at him. "I won, didn't I?" I lifted my arm to playfully hit him. "Don't you dare!"

Laughing, I went in the revolving door expecting Alex to get in the slot behind me. Instead he stood directly behind me, his arms up and over my head, pushing the door so hard that I didn't get the chance to get out. "Alex!" I screamed as we took one revolution until we stepped into the lobby. "What are you? Eight?" I teased, shuttering when I got a sudden chill.

He shrugged his shoulders like he really was eight. "Sorry. I've always wanted to do that." He removed his jacket and put it over my shoulders. "Stay here. I've got to go to the bathroom." 

"Thanks. I will."

He asked the concierge where the bathroom was and was gone for only a second, too soon for actually peeing. Then I remembered I'd read they have certain items in dispensers in men's room for situations a couple find themselves in, just like he and I were. Then, like a bolt of lightning slicing into my brain, I realized it was actually going to happen.

As the elevator doors closed behind us, he took my hand. "Carrie, it's been a while since I've felt this—"

"Drunk?" I finished, knocking his shoulder with mine.


Stockholm Syndrome Ch. 04-07



"Oh, honey," he said sarcastically. "I am far from drunk. I was going to say playful before you interrupted me." 

"I like playful," said, trying not to grin. "I'm not drunk either, just have a really good buzz on."

We finally got to the room door, and I practically had to empty my purse to find the room key, which I finally did and opened the door. "Thought you said you weren't drunk," he said as we walked in. 

I put my purse on the floor by the chair then went to the heating unit to turn the heat up, just for a few minutes to get the chill off of us. With my back to him I said, honestly without even thinking, "Take your clothes off." When I turned around I was stilled seeing him stand there, his eyes wide, his eyebrows raised. "No, Alex. I meant—"

He smiled reassuringly and came to me. I couldn't help but notice his shirt clinging to his chest. Putting his hands on my shoulders, he said, "Sweetie, relax. Let's just get dried off and chat, okay?"

For the life of me I couldn't understand why I suddenly froze up. The theory of having sex with him is one thing; the actual fact that we both wanted each other and we were finally alone was completely different.

"Sorry, Alex." 

"Don't be. Got anything I can wear?" His voice was no longer playful or flirtatious, just ... normal.

"There's a robe in the bathroom I haven't worn yet you can wear 'til your clothes dry. I can change out here," I said, heading to the bathroom. I grabbed a towel for myself and my hair brush. "I'll let you know when I'm done."

"Okay. I'll be a few minutes. I have to make a phone call."

When I heard the bathroom door close I grabbed the pillow from the chair, shoved my face in it and screamed then laughed quietly at myself like a mad woman. I quickly dried off and changed into lounge pants and a t-shirt, noticing instantly my pointy nipples trying to escape. Oh, well. I don't have an extra bra and the one I wore is wet. Thank god for pillows.

CHAPTER SIX

I sat on the bed by the nightstand and surfed the radio for some music -- nothing seductive, just some background noise. Again, as the music coming from the bars, nothing I recognized. I heard the beginning of a song that I hadn't heard since I left home. I couldn't help but start singing it as I ran my brush through my damp, semi-knotted hair while bopping my head and swinging my hips in rhythm. I just can't keep still when I hear that song.

"Everybody get up...whew! If you can't hear what I'm trying to say, if you can't read from the same page, maybe I'm going deaf. Maybe I'm going blind. Maybe I'm outta my m-i-i-i-ind ..." I went to the window to see if it was still raining; it was. "That's why I'm gonna take a good girl ... I know you want it ... hey, hey, hey—" 

Suddenly I saw Alex's reflection in the window in the white robe and stopped dead in my tracks, or booty dance. I was so mortified I couldn't move. I closed my eyes, praying he hadn't actually seen me, but I knew better. There was no way I was going to get out of it. 

A second later, the song all but forgotten, he stood behind me and reached for my hand, the one holding the brush. "Alex," I whispered, crooking my head up and back so I could see what he was doing. I couldn't ignore, or explain, the look in his eyes at that moment, but I'm sure mine matched his.

"Shh," he cooed then started brushing my hair. His hands were very gentle as he slowly ran the brush from the crown of my head to the ends several times. "How's that bump on your head?"

"Fine," I gurgled. "How's your bruised arm?"

"Fine," he repeated, carefully picking through a stubborn knot. "Sorry." 

"You're not hurting me. It feels nice, actually."

With every brush stroke the tension and anxiety seemed to evaporate, my head grew lighter. I closed my eyes, tilting my head to the left so he could get a different section, then my right. When the bristles swept across my neck I shivered.

He stopped brushing my hair and stepped back. "Done." 

I turned around and smiled. "Thanks."

"Thank you for letting me. You look better—I mean not that you looked bad before!" he corrected, shaking his head. He might have been embarrassed at his slip of the tongue, but I knew what he meant.

I was trying to think of something to say when his eyes traveled down to my chest. I immediately crossed my arms to hide my T-H-Os, but he would have none of that. He took my wrists and brought my arms down to my sides, leaving them completely exposed. Pulling me to the bed, he turned me around. "Sit." I didn't argue with him. "Get comfortable. I'm not going anywhere."

I thought my heart was going to explode, but he kissed my forehead before jumping at the foot of the bed. He landed on his stomach, got on his side, put his head in his hand and stretched his legs out horizontally, making sure his crotch was covered. I grabbed a pillow, hugging it over my chest before I threw him one, which he put under his arm.

"Alex, before I forget, I just want you to know I have had such a great time tonight, a lot of fun. Thank you very much."

He smiled. "You're very welcome. Meeting you has been ... a nice distraction."

"Distraction?" I frowned. "How so?"

"I got back from a week in Iceland two weeks ago. No cell phone, no iPad, no iPod, no connection with anybody. I hiked forever, watched the sun rises and sets, camped out and watched the stars. Whenever I get out like that it's the only time I can think straight, get myself back on track, figure out what it is I want to do, which script to read for which movie, whether I even want to do another movie. I miss my family. Every time I head to the states -- no offense -- a part of me stays here. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad and grateful to be working, but when Mom gets ill or Eija is having problems with a boy I ... I feel like I have to be there to help them."

The tone in his voice absolutely killed me; there was so much pain. "Oh, hon, your sister understands, believe me. She might not now, but she will." Then I realized there was pain in my voice as well.

"Carrie, you've told me where you're from, what you do, what you like, where you've been, but you've never told me anything about your family."

Damn, he caught my tone. There is no way around it now. I buried my chin in the pillow, not looking at him. "Mom died two months after I graduated high school, in '84. She had cervical cancer. My brother George was five years older than me; I was sort of a Valentine's mistake." I tried to laugh but failed miserably. "He was killed in the 9-11 attack at the Pentagon. He was married but didn't have any children. I never did like Sheryl, so I don't talk to her anymore. Dad ... Two years ago he had a stroke and was bed-ridden for six months before he died."

"Oh, hon, I'm so, so sorry," he said, reaching out and putting his hand on my knee.

"George was always off doing sports stuff or hanging out with his friends that I hardly missed him when he left for college. It wasn't until Mom died that we got close. So, yeah, you might not think you're around enough, but she knows you're there for her, your brothers, too."

There was so much silence between us at that moment I was pissed at him for asking me. My eyes were burning, and I didn't want him to see me cry -- I wasn't going to cry, period. I immediately jumped off the bed and went to my suitcase. 

"Well, hey, if we're going to be out all day tomorrow I should pack. I have to get out of here at—"

Alex had grabbed me by my waist and held me, so tight I couldn't have freed myself even if I tried. He cradled his chin in the crook of my neck. "I'm sorry if ... I didn't mean to upset you." 

I hadn't realized I was that easy to read. I threw my head back and put my hands on the back of his, our arms flush. "You didn't." But he had, not that it was his fault. 

He leaned back and turned me around. "Can I help you pack?"

"Thanks," I replied, forcing a smile. "I got it."

"Alright." He kissed my forehead. "Don't take too long. We'll have to get some sleep so we can head out of here early enough. Is that okay?"

Oh, good job, Carrie, I screamed at myself. You've really fucked up that hot kiss on the street, didn't you?! "Fine. Thanks."

I stood there and watched him as he went to the bed, pulled down the blankets and got in without removing the robe. Oh, yeah, dumbass. You've totally fucked up, Carrie.

Thankfully, the chore of getting everything in order kept my mind off of our conversation, but I felt his eyes burn into mine every movement I made. I finally finished, zipped the suitcase and turned toward the bed. The poor guy was fast asleep, lying on his side, his mouth slightly open. His face was so relaxed, and if it were possible he looked even sexier and sweeter than ever. And he was so incredibly sweet. I felt horrible about all the misconceptions I'd had about him. He might be the sexist man alive in Sweden, he may be vampire extraordinaire, but he was still a man. He had feelings and wants and needs. And he wanted to spend time with me. I was the luckiest damned girl in the world.

I turned off all the lights and carefully sat on the bed so as not to wake him. I was shocked it was almost two, and I doubted we'd get up early as he had mentioned. I set the alarm for ten and hoped for the best. I had just set the clock on the nightstand when I heard a groan, and the bed shook slightly. "What time did you set it for?" he grumbled.

I twisted around toward him. The robe had opened a bit, and I swallowed hard. As tired as I was my basic instinct to ravish him was still kicking. "Ten. Sorry, I tried not to wake you."

"It's okay. All finished?"

"Yeah."

He patted the mattress between us, so I slid under the covers, my back facing him but so close to the edge I was afraid I'd fall off in my sleep. I just knew if we faced each other neither one of us would get to sleep. 

"Carrie, do you mind if we snuggle?" he whispered. I thought about it, but I must have taken too long to answer. "I've been waiting two hours to snuggle up with you."

Now how could I refuse since I made him wait? I pushed back a little so I wouldn't plow into him, not that I didn't want to. Before I could move again he grabbed my waist and pulled me close to him, so close I could feel the difference between the material of the robe and the smooth warmth of his skin through my clothes. He wiggled his body a little, put his right arm above him and put his left hand on my waist. I took his hand and wrapped it around me, resting it just over my stomach. Alex is a good foot taller than me, and with his lean body it feels like another foot. But laying in his arms it didn't feel so dramatically different. 

"Perfect. You fit just like I knew you would." I had no response to that.

I simply settled in and forced my body to unwind so I could fall to sleep, yet my mind was another story. I sighed. "Alex, I'm sorry I fucked things up tonight."

"Silly girl, you didn't fuck a damned thing up." 

"But that kiss, on the street ... I don't think I wanted anything else than you at that moment."

Somehow, and I never figured out how he did it, he twisted me toward him so that I was lying on my back and staring up at him, totally open and vulnerable. He brushed my bangs aside, smiling so thoughtful and sweetly. "Ms. Boyce, even if we hadn't kissed and just held hands all night talking, I would have been just as happy if we had made love."

Made love ... made love?! I thought flabbergasted. Men don't say 'make love.' They say fuck. But Alex -- dear sweet Alex is a gentleman, I had to remind myself. 

"Now go to sleep, sweetie." He kissed my forehead. "We have a long day tomorrow." 

Little did I realize it would be longer than either of us anticipated.

CHAPTER SEVEN

When I woke up the next morning I couldn't feel my body at all, and my eyes were glued shut. I knew I was no longer lying against Alex, and as a matter of fact I didn't smell his cologne either. "Alex," I called out, though I didn't think it was in English. I forced my eyes open, sat up slowly and carefully confirming I was indeed alone. I tried to focus on the clock to see what time it was, but I had to take it so I could see it. It was almost eight. At first I was relieved, thinking it had all been a dream. But then I grew angry that he had left without waking me. 

My bladder cried out, so I got up and used the bathroom. Getting back into bed I said aloud, "I should have fucking known better." Forget what you said last night, Alex? You didn't get any from me so you up and scram. Well played, Mr. Skarsgard. 

I promptly went back to sleep.

---------------

A noise startled me awake sometime later, and I bolted straight up in bed. "Wha'?"

"Carrie, hey. It's just me," Alex said, smiling and looking refreshed, wearing different clothes. "How are you feeling?" He fiddled with something on the small table between the chairs, and I noticed several paper bags on the floor.

I looked around confused. "I thought ... I woke up and you were gone, and ..."

"Didn't you see my note?"

"Note? What note?"

"I wrote a note to tell you I was going home to shower and change then take Joham to Gustaf's."

"Oh. No, I never saw it."

He frowned then looked at the nightstand before his eyes trailed to the floor in front of it. "There it is. It must have fallen off."

I kicked my feet off the bed and caught a glimpse of the clock. "It's 11? Damn." Looking past my feet I saw the note plain as day. "Oh. I knocked it off when I grabbed the clock, I guess. Okay, sorry." I was so relieved he hadn't deserted me.

"Sorry? For what?"

"Well, I, uh, sort of called you every derogatory name in the book." I got up and stood by him, running my fingers through my hair, as the hair band had come out during the night.

"That's nothing new," he chuckled. "Good morning, by the way." He bent down and kissed my cheek.

"Morning."

"Now get back in bed. I've had this planned since I woke up this morning."

"I have to pee first." Wow. How lady-like of me. 

I did so, brushed my teeth and hair, leaving it down. When I came back out he was sitting at the foot of the bed with the tray in front of him. I sat across from him and looked over the food more closely. "What is all of this? The only thing I recognize is the yogurt, oh, and the banana."

"First off we have smorgas, tomat and gurka—"

"In English, please."

He grinned. "Right. Smorgas is the open-faced sandwich with ham and messmor -- forgive me, goat cheese -- topped with tomato and cucumber; cloudberry yogurt with granola; bananas; orange and coffee, with sugar and cream, just like you like it."

"No cereal?" I asked jokingly, but tried to keep my voice and face serious. Instantly his face changed, like he had gone through so much trouble to impress me or make me happy, and I'd disappointed him. "Alex, hon. I'm joking. This is perfect." His face brightened and he smiled. "You're so thoughtful."

"Do you take back what you said about me?" he asked as he handed me the coffee.

"Every single word." After taking a long swig I tried the yogurt first. "Hmm. Cloudberry is better in yogurt. I like it this way. Who's Joham?" 

"My retriever. Gustaf watches him when I'm gone."

"Oh, I thought you didn't—" I had to shut myself up.

"You thought what?"

I sighed. "I read you didn't want a dog until you were settled in one place. Alex, I'm sorry. I'm still trying to forget what I've read and just . . . I can't get over this whole weirdness thing being with -- hanging out with you." I sure didn't shut myself up that time. He shook his head and was about to say something when I said, "Imagine you have this major crush on this hot actress who you think is so totally hot that you'd make a complete ass out of yourself if you ever met her."

"You have a crush on me? You think I'm hot?" he asked with a wicked grin that I hated; it was adorable, but I hated it. 

"Alex!" I bellowed then promptly smacked him on his thigh.

"If you don't STOP!" He actually laughed. "I get it, Carrie. I just wish it weren't so difficult for you."

"Me, too. It's getting easier, the more time I spend with you." I winked at him.

We finally finished eating, so I stood, took the tray and put it on the table. "I'm gonna jump in the shower so we can get out of here."

"Okay," he said, but he seemed to deflate a little. I didn't understand why, and I did try to figure it out while I was in the shower. I didn't come up with a damned thing. 

After drying off with fresh towels, I reached for my clothes and cursed when I realized I hadn't grabbed them. I wrapped my hair around a towel and threw on one of the two robes that were then hanging; Alex must have gotten another from the maid earlier. 

Walking out I announced, "I forgot my clothes." Alex looked up from sitting on the edge of the bed, where he'd been texting on his phone and stared at me -- a nerve-wracking, narrow-eyed, lustful stare. "What?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

He didn't say anything but typed a few more characters, placed the phone on the bed and came up to me. "Carrie, you have finally done it." The expression on his face changed into something I'd never seen before from him, since we'd met or on screen.

I immediately put my shield up because he was beginning to terrify me. I took a few steps back until the wall stopped my retreat. "What the hell have I done, Alex? Did I—"

He put his hands on my hips, making me put my hands flush against the wall. I wanted to melt away and disappear. "You have no idea how fucking beautiful you are like that. I wanted to kiss you after we ate, but—" So Mr. Skarsgard was going through his own internal battle, it seemed. 

My apprehension diminished, and I smiled. "Thanks," I croaked, finding it amusing I wasn't shaking. 

Without a word, and without me stopping him, he gently pulled me toward him a step then slowly moved his hands from my hips to the belt of the robe. Our eyes locked, my mind raced, and my heart started to pound. I wasn't ready for him to see my body, regardless of his words. Nothing could ease my insecurity of my plump body. I couldn't ignore the fear of him seeing me naked, or touching me.

The belt was loosened, and I closed my eyes waiting for the inevitable. I felt the heavy material hit my sides, yet he didn't part the front of the robe. My face instantly contorted.

"Carrie," he growled, his voice soft yet throaty. "Look at me." It took me a second, but I did. "We won't do this if you don't want to."

Oh, I want to, Alex. I really, really, really want to, I told myself as I nodded. Gathering all of my courage, biting my lip, I took the collar of the robe and pulled it back over my shoulders, letting it fall slowly down my arms, yet kept it firm in my elbows. My breasts and stomach were exposed, and I waited for him to run away screaming. 

He didn't, but said, "Nu uh." He brought his hands toward my shoulders, the end of his palms brushed against my skin, making me sigh softly. He looked at me amused at my reaction before he pushed the robe back until it fell to the floor, then rested his hands on my full, fleshy hips. I reached up and unwound the towel from my head. The feel of my hair sweeping over my shoulders and upper back gave me goose bumps. He smiled. "Much, much better." 

I returned his smile, though it was somewhat nervously. I kept waiting for him to change his mind and redress me, but he slowly ran his huge, flat hands over my stomach and upward between my breasts until he reached my collarbone. He looked at my neck curiously then ran his thumb over the scar. "I never noticed this before. Where'd you get it?"

"Neck fusion," I replied. Removing his hands, I grabbed one and walked him to the bed then turned around. "Alex, I sure as shit don't want to talk right now." 




Stockholm Syndrome Ch. 04-07



"No?" he asked while he tugged his t-shirt up and over his head, throwing it to the floor.

"No," I croaked, looking over his awesomely tight, almost hairless chest, his firm biceps, every nook and cranny of his upper torso. I couldn't believe he was actually standing there and that he was mine -- well, mine for the day, anyway. Furthermore, I couldn't believe he actually wanted me.

He took a step closer and grabbed my face softly, running his thumbs just under my earlobes. Tilting my head up, he bent down and hesitated a moment, so I closed my eyes, expecting to feel his lips on mine, finally. But something grazed the tip of my nose, moved to the right side before his cheek brushed against mine. I exhaled quietly; my mouth being close to his ear I didn't want to breathe too heavily. All the while, my hands roamed over his chest, gently kneading his skin. When I reached his stomach I was surprised he was breathing a little shallow. I twisted my head around until our lips met, and he kissed me so hard and passionately I stopped breathing for a second. His hands held my head tighter, though not too tight. Ah, there's the Alex Kiss we all know and love. I leaned into his body, my now-erect nipples meshing against his chest. 

Removing his left hand, he placed it in the small of my back, pressing hard, like he never wanted to let go. I moaned from the back of my throat as my hands seemed to have a mind of their own, sliding downward to the button of his jeans. I had just unfastened the button when he broke the kiss and pulled back, looking over my face, grinning naughtily. He reached behind him, removed something from his back pocket and threw it on the nightstand. It was the condom he must have gotten from the bathroom in the lobby the night before. Embraced in the kiss, my body took over. Now, however, my brain started over-thinking everything. I fought my damned brain over my body, and thankfully my body won. Smiling, I got on the bed on my side, over the covers and watched him.

Fully confident, his eyes on mine, he unzipped his jeans and pushed them down to knees; they fell to the floor at his feet on their own. My eyes migrated south to his crotch, his thick bulge protruding through his black trunk briefs. Without a word, much less a warning, he jumped on the bed, ending up on his side and facing me. I yelped in surprise then laughed. "Brilliant move, Alex!"

He didn't answer, but my body sure did. I basically threw myself at him, my leg over his and my chest just above his ribcage. I kissed him like I'd never kissed a man before, or even imagined I could. My body was on fire, totally enflamed by his heat. Our lips still locked, he maneuvered me so I was on my back, his legs between mine; I bent my knees so our bodies were more aligned. I opened my eyes when I felt him tilt his crotch against mine, and I sighed when he moved his hips up and down a bit. I could tell how wet I'd become when the bulged material went from dry and rough to soft, moving much more easily. 

I so wanted to see what he was hiding under the trunks, even more so to feel him inside me, but he had other plans. His lips moved from mine to my chin, not kissing but running his lips over it, then to my cheek. I could hear his breathing was a little heavier as he nudged his lips in the crook of my neck, kissing and nudging that gave me chills. 

I brought my hand up and ran my fingers through his hair before he pushed himself down a little, but his lips never left my skin. I watched as his kisses moved down to my collarbone to my breast bone before his tongue licked my nipple, making it even perkier. My hand still on the back of his head, I pressed down gently to let him know what to do, and he understood. He cocked his head upward to look at me as he licked it once more before enveloping his lips around it, tenderly sucking.

"Hmm," I moaned quietly, my mouth handing slightly open.

My moan must have done something to him because he took on my nipple with more aggression and a gradual hardness, alternating between sucking and gingerly biting, his tongue flicking over the very tip of my nipple. He pinched my other nipple with his free hand, sending a current of electricity from my nipples to my stomach to my pussy. 

Reluctantly, he removed his mouth and started to slowly kiss his way downward, seeming not to have a problem with my not-so-taut stomach. Reaching his apparent goal, he traced his tongue over my wet, swollen clit, making me gasp. I looked down at him with apprehension; I was comfortable with him kissing my body, but not go down on me. 

He lifted his head up and looked at me. "Shh." The look of hunger and lust in his eyes made me silent, but not for long. 

He went back down on me, working my clit licking and sucking, making me squirm, my legs shaking, my moans constant and growing louder. I reached my hand down in search of his, which he must have seen, and clasped his fingers around mine. Within seconds I felt my orgasm coming on, and I didn't hold it back. I threw my head back and mumbled his name before it exploded within me. My body tensed as noises escaped me that I'd never made before. He only eased up a little as he let my orgasm ebb then wane before he stopped and let go of my hand.

I lay there panting hard, trying to force my breathing down, my eyes still closed. I felt the mattress shake but didn't pay much mind to it at first. That was until I heard something tear, and knew he was putting on the condom. My body shook with what I knew would soon be coming. He got back on the bed between my legs, spreading them with his knees before leaning forward, took my legs and wrapped them around his waist. I opened my eyes because I felt his long, hard cock against my still-wet pussy, but he didn't enter me. His face was somewhat stern, his lips pursed, but the look in his eyes was warm and wanting. I put my hands on his chest and he settled on top of me, took my hands and stretched my arms over me. He kissed me again, softer that time. It just turned me on even more.

"Alex," I mumbled. "I need you so fucking bad right now, you have no idea."

"I've wanted you since the first time I saw your smile." That made my pussy tingle.

He gave me a crooked smile before he slowly and carefully entered me, I guessed allowing me to get used to his size. When I first saw the bulge in his trunks I thought there was no way he'd fit inside me. But I was now so wet and ready for him that he slid right in. The electric sensation surged through me as he filled me completely.

"Oh, fuck," I grunted, pushing my hips down to take as much of him as I could. I buried my head in the pillow, closed my eyes and focused on the feel of him inside me.

He ran his hands over my breasts before he put them on either side of my elbows. Then he began to fuck me, occasionally moaning, quickening his pace ever so slightly with a sense of purpose, an urgency that I couldn't explain. As he penetrated me, our bodies rocked in perfect rhythm. I tightened my muscles around his cock, making him stop for a brief moment. He rested his chin in the crook of my neck and cooed, "Fuu—don't let go." 

He kissed my neck a few times before he leaned back up and took his cock almost out before he plunged back in, forcing me to muffle a scream against his chest. Doing that a few more times was all it took to send another orgasm coarsing through me. I didn't give a shit how loud I was when I screamed. He growled once, pounded into me twice more before I felt his cock quiver against my walls. His body suddenly froze, growled like the sound of a cat purring, grinding his hips against mine as his own orgasm exploded. The expression on his face was priceless. Seeing a man's cum face is probably the most private, sacred thing he can share with a woman. 

"Care—eee," he groaned.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked breathlessly, finding it hard to breath.

"Oh," he replied, giving me a quick kiss. "It's a very, very good thing."

He took a firm hold of my shoulders, and before I knew what had happened I was lying on top of him straddling his waist, his cock still inside me. "Holy fuck, Alex! That was impressive." I exclaimed.

He frowned. "I thought you Americans didn't like that word."

I knew exactly what he meant. "Nah. We use holy all the time."

"Smart ass." He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me, holding me close. I placed my head just below his chin and relaxed, or tried to. He didn't give any indication my weight was too much for him. "That thing you did ... where'd you learn to do that?"

"What thing?"

"You grabbed my cock when I was inside you."

"I did?" I asked innocently then squeezed it again. What shocked the hell out of me was that it responded somewhat, but there was no way I'd be able to go again; if we did I would have had a heart attack, but at least I would have died happy. "Oh, that. An article in Cosmopolitan." My body shook with his laugh. "Don't tell me you haven't had a woman do that to you."

"I've never had a woman—"

"I wasn't expecting an answer."

We lay there for a few minutes, both quiet, our breathing becoming more shallow and regular as we came down from our orgasms. I'd been running my thumb over his cheek while he ran his fingernails up and down my back. I had to really fight the urge not to fuck him from my position, but I had ignored my bladder far too long. "Shit, gotta go to the bathroom."

"Hmm-kay." Pushing myself up, I lifted my hips slowly, though not teasingly, letting his dick adjust to the loss of the warmth of my pussy. "Oohh," he whined.

"Sorry, hon," I said as I scooted to the side of the bed, planting my feet on the carpet. I tried to get up, but my legs were shaky. I hesitated.

"What's wrong?"

"My legs are jelly."

"Ah." He was quiet for a second before he put his fingers on the tattoo on my right shoulder. "This is cool. When did you have this done?"

The coldness of his fingers made me jump a little, since I wasn't expecting it. "In the middle of my mid-life crisis when I was 29. I couldn't decide whether I wanted a dolphin or a music note. So two years later I came up with the dolphin jumping through the music note."

"Mid-life crisis at 29? Hell, I'm still waiting for mine. Isn't that a little early?" His voice was light, not pressing for a deep, serious confession.

"It was for me. I never thought I'd make it to 39, much less 47." The implication of what I had just said hit me like a ton of bricks; I'd never figured out exactly why I needed the tattoo until that moment. 

I ran to the bathroom, more like shuffled very carefully, slamming the door accidentally behind me. After relieving myself I stared in the mirror before running cold water over my face, thinking that would stop me from crying. Fucking hormone spikes after sex sucked. 

Walking back out into the room, Alex was sitting up under the blanket, resting just above his "Sorry. Mom was 44 when she died. I didn't mean to ... I didn't want to fuck up—"

"Carrie, come here," he said, his voice even softer than he usually spoke. I sauntered over to the bed and got under the covers. He cradled me in his arms, his head just above mine, brushing the hair away from my face so he could see it more clearly. "Sweetheart, I wish you would stop saying that." 

Putting his hand on my hip, he kissed my cheek then settled down beside me. I grabbed his hand and brought it in front of me, holding onto his one with both of mine. "Alex, how about we just stay here for the day, if it's okay with you. We can get room service for dinner."

"Hmm. How about we get room service for dinner, and I take you to my sunset hill."

I couldn't help but smile. "sunset hill? Sounds like an old folks home."

"No, Carrie," he chortled. The place I told you about where I watch the sunsets."

"Oh. Sounds good." I couldn't stifle a yawn.

"Get some sleep."

I shoved my head back, looked into his eyes for a second then said, "I'm glad you're here." 

"I'm glad I'm here, too. Now hush and go to sleep."

I was quiet, thinking of all the crap that I had to do the next day with flying out. "Shoot, I wanted to confirm—"

"Shh." He started to run his fingers through my hair near my temple, something my mother did when I was a little girl that always put me to sleep. 

And it did the trick. My last thought before I went to sleep was: Okay. Now I can add and cross off 'Meet and have sex with Alex Skarsgard' off my "Things That'll Never Happen Even If the World Ends Tomorrow' Bucket List."