0 comments/ 19061 views/ 4 favorites Secrets are Best Shared By: BOFHUK Author Note: The following tale is intended as a supplement to the fifth season of Doctor Who broadcast in 2010 and I'd strongly suggest reading it once you've seen the show (not least because there be spoilers here). There's also a fair old bit of story before the filth so you probably want to skip to page 3 if that's what you're after. Oh, one last thing, this isn't intended to be an entirely accurate portrayal of BDSM but a little more... Hollywood. Anyway, hope you enjoy it and as always feedback whether good, bad or indifferent is more than welcome. 21:00 25th of June, 2010 Roughly 30 minutes from Gloucester the sun was setting over the small English village of Leadworth casting a golden haze over the land. In the garden of a large home on the outskirts of the village the light fell on the rusted iron frame of a swing set, slid over the aged timber of a simple potting shed and, with the sun barely visible on the horizon, caressed the red hair and slender frame of Amy Pond as she stared out of her window. The view before her was truly spectacular, as if the whole world had decided it was time to stop messing about with practice runs and put everything it had into this sunset just in case it was the last chance it got. Under normal circumstances she'd have simply sat and watched, feeling the years slip away to a simpler time. Tonight though, ah, tonight the simpler times had never felt so far gone, yanked away once and for all. To her right a white dress hung ready for the morning, seemingly glowing in the dying rays of the sun. Almost absentmindedly she reached out and ran a single finger over the silk, lost in her thoughts as they chased each other around and around in her head. She'd been so sure when Rory had proposed and now... No, she was still sure, she loved him and if she was being honest with herself had done for as long as she could remember. No, he wasn't the dashing, carefree adventurer she'd always thought she'd prefer but Rory had, in his own quiet way, convinced her that maybe, just maybe, there was something better. He'd always stood by her, never once made demands or tried to stop her doing something she wanted to do (even the night she told him she was going to be a kissogram had gone smoother than it had any right to, he'd even manage to crack a joke about getting a discount despite clearly being less than thrilled with her choice) and during that insanity with Prisoner Zero two years ago he'd been right by her side. Didn't know what was going on, knew that it was likely dangerous, yet it was as if the idea of turning around and running had never entered his head. Dashing? Carefree? No, not now and probably never. But brave, honest, caring and totally devoted to her? Yeah, she couldn't deny that. And then he'd been there for her when she'd seen that battered old blue box vanish in front of her for the second time. Two years. Two years he'd helped her, never once doubting anything she said and listening to it all despite some of it having to be personally painful to him not to mention her sounding slightly, well, insane at times. No, Rory wasn't the problem. That damn book on the other hand... He'd left it here by accident she knew. Earlier that day, with all the preparations for the wedding taken care of and so nervous she couldn't possibly sit still, she'd decided to give her bedroom a good top-to-bottom clean. After all, in just 24 hours time she'd be in a position to share it properly and she didn't want anything embarrassing tucked away just waiting to be discovered did she? Then and there she'd decided to make sure that any trace of her raggedy Doctor was hidden away, show Rory that this was indeed a clean start for her. She'd pulled her old suitcase out from under the bed, after all that was where a lot of her older creations where kept anyway, and pulled the remaining dolls and pictures down from her walls. A breeze from the open window had lifted one drawing and sent it fluttering down the side of the table. It was as she had reached down to retrieve it she'd found the book. Book was maybe being a bit generous, she thought as the sun dipped ever lower towards the horizon, now less than half visible above the distant hills. It was a notebook really, and that's where she'd been caught out as it had looked exactly like the ones she used for everything from shopping lists to a makeshift diary. Not that surprising she supposed, they all came from the Post Office and as it was the only place in the village to buy stationary, no it really shouldn't have been surprising at all that Rory used the same ones. But she hadn't known and had flicked it open at random. She'd smiled when she saw his handwriting and felt her heart flutter as she saw her name at the top of the page. It was a story of some kind and she read the first few lines out of idle curiosity more than anything else. It was quickly obvious that Rory had written down a daydream about her and as she reached the end of the paragraph she decided it wasn't her place to read it. The last six words of that paragraph though had knocked her for a loop and she'd been unable to put the book down. By the time she'd finished the afternoon had passed to evening and her mental image of Rory had... changed somewhat. She'd had no idea that he had such an active imagination, certainly no idea that he had such a wide range of interests or, for that matter, that he was so skilled at creative writing. She wasn't shocked by the contents, in truth some of what she'd read wasn't too far away from her own fantasies, but suddenly she was beset by doubt. Could she even begin to live up to that image? What would happen if she tried and failed, what if this was what had been keeping Rory interested all these long years? An ideal version of her to which real her would only be a disappointment in comparison. If she messed that up, if she showed she was less than he thought her to be... she couldn't bear that, couldn't bear to loose the best thing in her life. Not again. The sun finally vanished from sight and shadows spread over the garden. The stars started twinkling above her and for the last time as a single woman she raised her eyes to the heavens. For the last time she gazed up at them and thought of a stranger from those stars and wondered what he was doing now, what life would be like out there, free from responsibility, dancing in myth and legend sorting out the problems of the universe. She clutched the book tightly in her lap and sighed, standing up and stretching suddenly tired limbs. She turned and slid into the warm comfort of her bed, the book slipped under her pillow. The night, the future, beckoned to her and she let it steal over her as she drifted into an edgy, uneasy sleep with the sun shining overhead, carefree days of childhood stretching out long and unending before her and the most wonderful sound in the universe echoing through her dreams, calling her home. Getting louder and louder, closer, dominating the world... Her eyes snapped open, the dream vanishing but the sound remaining. She raced to the window, heart pounding, not daring to hope. And there, standing upright in her garden, the answer to an unspoken prayer, stood a simple blue box. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared down for a long moment and then she did the only thing she could, the only thing that made sense. She ran. Ran for the door, her right hand grabbing a dressing gown from its hook and the left, seemingly of its own accord, scooping up the book and slipping it into the dressing gown pocket. Ran downstairs. Ran out the door. Ran into the garden. Ran to the light burning on top of that box, ran to her friend standing beside it, ran to the future, to the past, to far flung stars, to wherever he could take her that delayed the present. 23:50 25th June 2010, Several Weeks Later Amy sat on her bed staring at the Doctor as he looked at the ring she'd just handed him, the comfortable, familiar shape of the TARDIS nestled snuggly in the corner of her room like a full size version of her own home-made dolls. While she was doing her best to hide it she was caught in a trap of her own making and trying desperately to think of a way out. Originally she'd intended to show the Doctor her wedding dress and explain exactly why she'd chosen to run away with him on the night before the big day. Explain everything, explain how she'd been terrified of failing, of not being good enough to match the version of her she'd seen trapped in words, lovingly bound in Rory's handwriting between the pages of a cheap notebook. Ask him for advice, ask for help, ask for... well, anything really. Maybe even forgiveness for putting herself ahead of the man she loved and looking for answers somewhere else rather than just talking or even just trusting him. The ring had put paid to that idea. From the moment she'd shown it him and he'd wondered why she hadn't been wearing it she knew she couldn't explain. He was wonderful this Doctor, HER Doctor. She'd seen him in his anger and fury, she'd seen him brave the fire and darkness for people that would never know his name, she'd experienced his forgiveness and kindness first hand and yet, at that moment, she knew that while he would try to understand and help this was something that he'd not be able to understand and there was no way for her to explain it. Annoyed with herself for even thinking this way, for treating the Doctor as an oracle rather than a person and, more importantly, a friend, she took the ring back and retreated into the familiar ground of sarcasm. "Why did I leave my engagement ring off when I ran away with a strange man on the night before my wedding? Hmm, you really are an alien aren't you?" And then it hit her. Maybe she didn't need to explain. Maybe there was a way for the Doctor to reassure her, to give her the confidence she needed. At that moment insecurity and fear and the adrenaline still burning through her system after being moments from death combined to push her onwards and dared her to act. "It made me think about what I want, about who I want... if you know what I mean..." She left the line open ended, staring at the Doctor with hope and longing and desire. But she could see in his eyes he didn't really understand her, not yet anyway. She tried again, placing more emphasis now on the words but still he hovered on the edge of understanding. "Doctor, in a word, in one very simple word even you can understand" and she moved forward, slowly but with purpose and kissed her Doctor for the first time. It caught him by surprise and without defence and before he could scramble away she caught a glimpse inside his mind. The sadness that echoed there almost overwhelmed her, loneliness and pain mixed to a point that seemed impossible. Echoes of his own failures, the countless numbers of the dead that he'd been unable to save, that the universe had claimed for its own. The sure and certain knowledge that everything had a time and a place, that everything must die in the end. Even time lords could not avoid that. It rose around her in that second, filling her head until she felt like it would burst. A symphony of voices, coming from every corner of the universe, filling her head, all different and yet... all the same. "Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension? Have you? To be exiles?" "Our lives are different from anybody else's. That's the exciting thing. Nobody in the universe can do what we're doing!" "Courage isn't just a matter of not being afraid. It's being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway" "What do you mean, I have but a little time left?" "There should have been another way." "You'll age here in the TARDIS and then die. But me, I shall go on regenerating until all my lives are spent" "You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies." "You want dominion over the living, yet all you do is KILL!" "Everybody lives, Rose! Just this once! Everybody lives!'" "That's who I am: the Time Lord Victorious!" "You're not the first to have come here. Oh, there have been so many. And what you have to ask yourself is... what happened to them?" How could she have been so stupid, to seek comfort and reassurance for her own petty problems from a man like this... she should be taking his burdens, helping him to bear them, not adding more. How could she have been so wrong, how could she not have seen this, how could he stand it? The Earth beneath them spinning in the sky so fast no-one even noticed it but him, a myth woven into the very fabric of reality, that one name echoing through eternity in the lifeblood of every world, every race, sometimes hated, sometimes feared, sometimes celebrated and most often just background noise, a whisper in the dark. A voice she'd never heard before echoed in her mind then another, and another. Men, women, what seemed like a thousand different voices merging together, a line stretching across the universe, the few, oh so few, that had shared that burden over the centuries and it seemed to her, in that moment, that they spoke for untold multitudes: "He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and can see the turn of the universe. And..... he's wonderful" The Doctor broke away from her and she pursued him, knowing she couldn't simply back down, needing to hide what he'd shown her but feeling at that moment as if a veil had been lifted from her eyes. She knew him now, she knew who and what he was, what he did and why. And she knew, at that moment, that come what may she'd stand by him through fire and death, a part of something bigger. She pursued him but careful now, her movements obvious, his mind locked tight. She moved in and kissed him, backing him up against the TARDIS and once more she felt herself glimpse his mind. Now though she pulled away before she could enter and sprawled herself on the bed. Distracting, teasing... hiding. Give him time, let him work out the next move. If it involved ravishing her then she would hardly complain, it was still something she very much wanted at that moment and she'd be the first to admit she may have backed off but was still very much trying to seduce him. As much as she may like to pretend that was to keep up the pretence a part of her very much wanted to feel him wrapped around her. He reached down and pulled her off the bed, trapped her briefly against the TARDIS, all part of the dance now as they both knew the ending but had to play their parts to get there. "Oh Doctor!" She purred but refrained from moving forward towards him again. He half spun, half pushed her into the TARDIS and with a worried look back at the clock followed her inside, brushing past her and heading straight for the console with a determined look on his face. 26th June 2010 Amy lay in Rory's arms, her friends and family dancing around her, a worryingly large number of them copying the Doctor's somewhat questionable moves from earlier in the night. She smiled, hoping that this was one of those times the Doctor's usual charm was on the fritz and he was truly forgotten about in the morning. The man himself was leaning against a wall, his ancient eyes seemingly watching the whole room at once, a small smile on his face as he seemed to relax, properly relax, for the first time she could remember. And she understood, after everything she'd seen how could she not, that it didn't matter what else was wrong with the universe. In this moment, in this time, in this instant of reality, everything was right with the world. Trouble would come soon enough (or, and she couldn't help but giggle softly at the thought, he'd go and find it if it took too long), but here and now he could breathe freely. She shifted slightly to bring her lips mere inches from Rory's ear. "You know he's going to leave tonight don't you?" "Yeah" he replied, and to her surprise there was no hint of relief or anger in his voice. Not that she'd blame him for an instant if there was all things considered but it caught her off guard nonetheless. "Do you want to go with him?" he asked and there was something strange in his tone now that she couldn't place. "No..... I want us to go with him" There was a pause, and she felt her pulse pounding in her chest, no idea what the answer would be. "So do I." Such a simple reply but the longing in his voice was something she'd never thought she'd hear from him, at least not about anything regarding the Doctor. She wiggled round in his arms to face him properly. "You're sure?" "Amy... Remember when we were married in Upper Leadworth?" "Of course, if I didn't you wouldn't either after all." She replied, a slightly smug (but well earned) grin on her face. "Well the thing is, I still want that. I want a life with you, children, a house of our own, a real settled life. But not now. I want to grow old with you Amelia Jessica Pond..." He paused for a second, as if gathering his courage and staring straight into her eyes as he finished the sentence "... but not before we've had a chance to live." She kissed him. It was the only thing that seemed to make sense at that moment and she felt Rory smile against her lips as he returned the kiss with a passion he'd always been careful to manage before, as if he'd been worried about her seeing that side of him. His hands were carefully moving around her body, sending little shockwaves up her spine as he skirted the borders of acceptability in such a public setting. She moaned into his mouth and decided there and then she had to tell him the part of the story he didn't know. It wasn't fair on him, not knowing why she'd travelled with the Doctor the night before her wedding, he must still think she was scared or unsure of him or, even worse, that she'd wanted the Doctor all along. No, worse still, that she'd wanted the Doctor instead of Rory. She opened her eyes and glanced over his shoulder, looking towards the Doctor for that one last shot of courage she always seemed able to draw from his presence. He wasn't there. It was as if her body moved without any input from her mind. Before she knew it she was outside in the cool, crisp summer night air and running (as best she could in a full length wedding dress) towards her house. Dimly she heard footsteps behind her and knew Rory was following and that was good but she was entirely focused now on just one objective. A few breathless minutes later and she almost skidded into the garden and almost cried with relief to see the TARDIS still sitting there. Gulping air and trying to make it look like she'd been out for a leisurely stroll she strode up to the doors and glanced back as Rory came hurtling around the corner behind her. She raised one eyebrow and he nodded, smiling as he too tried to get his breath back and gestured her forward. She laughed and blew him a kiss, beckoning him to follow her as she strode through the door. "Oy! Where do you think you're going? We haven't even had a snog in the shrubbery yet!" The 34th Century. Teatime The Doctor, Amy and Rory all sat around the console as the TARDIS hummed gently beneath them. All three were lying against whatever came to hand, eyes closed, and seemingly exhausted. Rory's smartly tailored suit had a long gash in the jacket and was missing the right sleeve. Amy's shimmering formal dress was sporting two slits to mid-thigh rather than just the one she'd started with (along with a mental note to go through the TARDIS wardrobe and make sure any other outfits she might decide to wear were suitable for running in) and something unidentifiable, sticky and green coated the front. Even the Doctor hasn't escaped unscathed, one elbow patch hanging off his jacket and his braces and bow tie missing after being sacrificed in one of the less successful escape plans of his long life. Every so often one of the three would groan and shift slightly as their aching muscles protested. Secrets are Best Shared "Well, that went well." The Doctor said after long minutes, his eyes still closed. "Yeah." Rory replied "as far as stopping escaped Egyptian goddesses on the Orient Express in space goes that had to be in the top fifty attempts at least." "Hell of a honeymoon" Amy threw in as she started to crawl across the glass floor to Rory. "Honeymoon..." The Doctor muttered, his eyes opening wide as he realised what rather important part of the marriage process had been overlooked. "Never mind." Rory interrupted while simultaneously appreciating the crawling Amy and making a mental note of just how good she looked on all fours "let's get some rest and pick up that thought when we've all got working brains to pick it up with yeah?" The Doctor nodded, somewhat grateful as he had to admit he could use a hot bath, a mug of tea and some actual rest himself. Amy reached her husband and together they helped each other up and stumbled towards their bedroom, the Doctor making one last check of the controls before heading off to his own room. Within five minutes all three were soundly asleep. Amy awoke with a start, her hands shaking as just for one horrible minute she thought she saw a weeping angel standing before her, fangs bared, hands like talons reaching for her throat. The dreams came less often these days and the Doctor had told her they would fade in time but she couldn't help but fear them. That nagging doubt in her mind, something the Doctor had said back then about another Angel "there's a difference between dormant and patient" and the horrible feeling she hadn't seen the last of them. Unable to go back to sleep and not wanting to wake Rory she slid soundlessly out of bed and pulled her dressing gown on before heading for the control room. She absentmindedly stroked a hand gently over the console as she walked round it and headed for the door, a habit she'd gotten into without really knowing why, knowing only that she felt it was the right thing to do somehow. Carefully she opened the door and sat down on the edge, her legs dangling in space as the cosmos opened up before her. It was a view she'd never get tired of, just the infinite majesty of the universe on display before her, the gentle thrum of the TARDIS surrounding her, protecting her from the cold and painful death that should by all rights rush through the doors. It never seemed to matter when she came here and looked out, the view was always different and never less than spectacular. If she didn't know better she'd swear the ship was showing off. She shifted slightly and felt something dig into her thigh. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a book she had almost managed to forget was there. It would be so easy, she knew, just to accidentally drop it now. Send it soaring through the universe and never say anything more about it. She'd tried to do it once before, the very first night the Doctor had taken her away from Leadworth. Lingering at this same door, waiting to be sure he couldn't see her before casually dropping the book into infinity. She'd had her hand in her pocket when, for some reason that she'd never quite figured out, the TARDIS door had swung closed and she'd found herself holding on to the outside of the ship for dear life with both hands, any thoughts of something as silly as throwing away a book blown out of her head by the far more pressing need to stay alive. She glanced up and around at the TARDIS and fancied, just on the edge of hearing, there was the faintest creak from the old wooden doors. She reached over and stroked the wood, feeling very very silly but at the same time fairly sure she was right. "Okay, you've made your point. And thank you" No she couldn't throw it away, besides it would hardly solve the problem and she knew now that she was far better, far stronger, when she shared her thoughts with Rory. It was just that, in this particular case, she wished that she had someone else to talk it through with beforehand. She briefly thought about asking the Doctor for his advice but it didn't take much imagination to see that would be a somewhat awkward conversation. Besides, she didn't want to give him the wrong idea and some of what Rory had written might shock even a 907 year old Time Lord. Or, at the very least, give him ideas that were probably best kept out of his head. But who did that leave, the TARDIS? She laughed quietly at the thought of talking to the console about her relationship issues, even if it would probably result in more sensible advice than she'd get from the Doctor, but no, that wasn't the answer. Actually the fact she even considered that a realistic alternative probably meant she should head back to bed and get a bit more sleep. Amy hadn't made it three steps from the door when they slammed shut behind her and the TARDIS started to shake, clearly heading off somewhere with a purpose. The clack of the console typewriter could just about be heard over the groaning of the engines as the Doctor came running into the control room. "Did you press anything?" "No! It just started going all on its own!" The Doctor checked the controls and glanced at the monitor. "Well, it doesn't look like we're heading anywhere immediately dangerous, in fact we seem to be heading for Earth. Might as well see what's waiting for us there." "What is it, what's going on!" Rory called as he stumbled into the room with a dressing gown quickly knotted around his waist and hair sticking up at odd angles. "The TARDIS seems to want to go to Earth... and the Doctor never argues with the TARDIS so guess where we're going?" Amy replied, walking over and giving him a hug while smoothing out the worst of the sleep-induced style disaster. "Might as well go get dressed I suppose." 14:00 May 30th, 2015 Five minutes later all three time travellers were staring out of the TARDIS doors trying to work out why it had brought them here. They'd half expected to see bombed out buildings, devastated streets or shambling monsters. Instead they had landed in a lush green valley, mountains reaching up on all sides and a fresh water stream racing and dancing its way along the valley floor. "So where are we exactly?" Amy asked, slipping her leather jacket from her shoulders as the sun beat down upon them. "Earth, looks like Wales, early afternoon and, amazingly, not raining." The Doctor replied. "And to answer your next question no, I have no idea what we're doing here but if the TARDIS wanted to come then I'm sure there'll be something... interesting." "Well it doesn't look too dangerous" Rory said, looking around for any signs of trouble "We might as well have a look around while we're here" "Good idea, let's split up, cover more ground." The Doctor replied with a cheerful grin. Rory and Amy shared an exasperated look and opened their mouths to protest as the Doctor wandered out of sight round the back of the TARDIS. The newlyweds sighed and had taken maybe two steps in the other direction when the Doctor's voice called out to them. "On the other hand, that might not be necessary..." Puzzled Amy and Rory walked around the TARDIS and stopped dead. There, spread out neatly on the ground and weighed down with a few small white stones, was a large checked cloth, a huge wicker picnic basket in the middle and, oddly, the smell of fresh bread wafting towards them. Various plates and glasses were laid out making it very clear this was a meal for four and a small metal bucket sat on a stand quietly steaming as the ice evaporated around the neck of what looked suspiciously like a champagne bottle. "Hello sweetie, I thought for a moment there you were going to be late!" River Song laughed, walking towards them and giving first the Doctor then Amy and finally Rory a hug. "River? What..." The Doctor tailed off, seemingly at a loss for words, gesturing at the picnic spread out before them. "Well you did manage to save the entire universe AFTER it had been destroyed. Even by your standards I thought that was worth a bit of a celebration. Besides, I never got to congratulate the happy couple! Come on, the Champagne's getting warm." River gestured to the cloth and, after a half second pause, the Doctor shrugged and sat down, Amy and Rory following suit. River pulled the bottle from its ice bath and popped the cork, pouring the fizzing liquid into four glasses and passing them round. Amy happened to be last and as she took the glass she felt something underneath her fingers she wasn't expecting. Looking down she saw a scrap of paper against the glass. Carefully she unrolled it and saw: "Need to speak to you, Amy" and a list of co-ordinates she could only assume related to this time and place. She looked over at River and caught a knowing wink followed by a silent 'later'. Her curiosity burning Amy pocketed the paper and decided answers could wait, preferring for now to enjoy the sunshine and the company. It was, all things considered, close to a perfect afternoon. Even the Doctor's usual manic energy seemed to take some time off and the four sat and talked until the shadows lengthened and the air started to turn cool. Rory in particular seemed fascinated with River and proved surprisingly good at wrapping his head around the twisting turning timelines that seemed to bind her to the Doctor. Reluctantly they started to pack away the remains of the picnic and the Doctor turned to River. "So, can we drop you off somewhere?" River laughed, reaching into a small handbag and pulling a familiar vortex manipulator from its depths. "It's okay, I'm covered. But thanks for the offer. One thing I would like though is a few minutes alone with Amy." The Doctor looked at her sharply, the request had been a little too innocent, a tone he was both learning to recognise and associating with impending trouble. "Why?" "It's been a while since I had a chance for some proper girl talk, not much company in Stormcage after all." She teased. "Besides, how do you expect us to gossip about you if you're standing right there?" Still he hesitated, knowing he was probably being a bit over-protective of his companion especially as this was River that was asking. She'd saved his life more than once now, fought besides them and yet... there was always that unknown with her. "Alright, just... stay where I can see you." "You never could let go of that 'no wandering off' rule could you?" River laughed as she stepped away and called for Amy to join her. They walked in silence for a few minutes, heading in a more-or-less straight line from the TARDIS until they reached the bank of the small stream. River sat down on the grass, idly trailing a finger in the cool water as she turned her gaze on Amy. "I've got to admit, I'm impressed. How'd you get a message to me without the Doctor knowing about it?" "I didn't!" Amy protested "I swear I didn't send you anything, and I certainly wouldn't have known how to work out the co-ordinates for where to meet." River laughed. "Oh Amy, Amy Amy... you've traveled with the Doctor long enough now, why do you think sending a message requires you to physically send it?" "You've lost me" "Just tell me this much, what were you doing right before coming here?" "Uh, well, " Amy stalled trying to mentally edit her thoughts in the safety of the TARDIS down to something she'd feel comfortable admitting. "Amy, I've travelled a long long way to be here and we've been through a lot together, don't lie to me now." Amy sighed and glared at River, knowing that whatever she said now she'd end up telling this odd, mysterious woman everything sooner or later anyway. "I was sitting in the control room and thinking it'd be nice to have someone to talk to about, uh... about something that's been in my head for a while. Next thing I knew we were here." River laughed and shook her head. "See, you did send me a message. The TARDIS is more than just a ship you know, it's alive and more than a little telepathic. She must like you, well, I suppose you did save her from never existing at all, that's gotta count for something." Amy smiled and, not for the first time, found herself wondering exactly who River was to know so much about the Doctor and everything in his life. She couldn't help but think about that old, battered, slightly charred blue book that River used as her Diary and what was written there, not least about her and Rory. Oh well, time enough for that later, there was no avoiding this conversation now so might as well get it over with. "The thing is River... the night before my wedding I found this notebook in my room. I thought it was one of mine or I'd never have even thought of reading it but by the time I realised it was Rory's I'd already read too much of it and couldn't stop." "Okay... so what was it, a diary?" "Not exactly" Amy's voice trailed off, the usual carefree image dropping as she looked very much younger than 21, her eyes downcast, her hair falling over her face as if she was trying to hide away from what she was about to say. River kept quiet but didn't take her eyes of the young woman in front of her. "It was, umm, well it was a diary I suppose. It, uh, it went back for a few years, just about when we started going out I guess. It was, well, quite uh... explicit." "Amy Pond, you never struck me as the sort to blush that easily!" "I'm not, it's just a little different when it's about you!" "Oh come on, you're seriously telling me you've never thought guys are having fantasies about you?" "Well..." "You're gorgeous, certainly know how to dress for effect and, if a certain little bird that whispered in my ear one day is to be believed, used to be a kissogram. And you're blushing over a little porn?" "It's a shock when you see it written down! Especially when it's your boyfriend, no, fiancee doing the writing!" "Why? Surely that's the one person who SHOULD be thinking about you like that?" "Well... yeah... I suppose." Amy's voice faltered again, knowing she was so close to having to tell River the whole truth but not quite ready to do just yet. A few more seconds she though, just a little longer to get ready. "It's just, he's always been so sweet and kind and considerate, I never saw that side of him before." "That side? Ohhh, do I take it this smut was a little more adventurous than you were expecting?" Amy winced, wishing she could take back her previous words, knowing she'd given the game away. Oh well, if she had to say it she might as well get it over with. "Yeah, it was... oh the hell with it... it was like a fetish encyclopedia River! I never knew, didn't even suspect he had that side. And I was marrying him in the morning!" River stared at Amy for a long, drawn-out moment. "So you're saying that's why you ran away with the Doctor? Because you found out you didn't know Rory as well as you thought you did?" Amy opened her mouth to say yes, glad of the chance to give a plausible explanation rather than the truth. And was shocked to hear a whispered "no" escape her lips. She looked away from River, her eyes fixed firmly on the grass at her feet. "No... I was afraid I wouldn't live up to his fantasies. Afraid I would disappoint him, afraid that he'd leave, that he'd see I wasn't what he thought I was." She paused for breath and it came out as a sob, her eyes squeezed closed trying to hold back tears. "I couldn't... couldn't go through that again. He's too good a man for me, he, he, he's always been there for me River and yet I never dared even tell him how much I loved him and then" words failed her and she burst into tears held back for far too long, River immediately wrapped her arms around her and held her tight, letting the tears flow. Eventually the tears stopped, as all tears must, and Amy pulled back, wiping her eyes clear and giving River a shaky smile. "I ran River. I ran from the best thing that ever happened to me and it took him dying for me to even start to work out what an idiot I was being." "But you did work it out...." "Yeah, having someone wait 2,000 years for you will do that" and this time the smile was edging back towards the more familiar, confident one River was used to seeing on Amy's face. "and I love him more than I ever thought possible. He makes me fly River, every time he's around me I'm... I'm a better person." "But?" River prompted. "But... I know I can't let this drop River. No more secrets between us, not after everything that's happened. I know I shouldn't have read it but I did and now... I've got to at least talk to him about it but how on earth do I even bring something like this up? And what if he wants to do any of it, what if I really can't live up to what he expects?" "That's quite a question. Actually that's three really big questions rolled up into one, but I'll have a go at answering them." River paused, wanting to be very clear in her phrasing. "Firstly, trust me on this one, you'll live up to them. You've faced down Cybermen and Angels and Daleks, well, a Dalek anyway, something tells me you'll know one end of a crop from the other." Amy blushed furiously and looked away but that did nothing to stop River's advice. "The other part of living up to his dreams is how well you know him and from what I've seen you've got nothing to worry about there whatsoever. You two work together, you know you do, he knows you do... if something doesn't go as well as it could he won't forgive you because he won't NEED to. You just try again and get a little better every time." Amy still couldn't bring herself to look at River directly, mainly because she had the suspicion that River wasn't really telling her anything she hadn't already know and just needed to hear someone say it. "As for how to tell him and what to do if it develops... don't tell him anything." "What?" Amy said, her head snapping round to look at River in shock. That was certainly not the advice she'd expected to hear. "Don't tell him... show him" River finished with a wicked gleam in her eye. "Nothing quite like confronting your fears to add a bit of spice to your love life." "So what, walk into the bedroom wearing leather and carrying a whip?" Amy asked, sarcasm fairly dripping from every word. "Well that's one option certainly and I doubt he'd object but I was thinking of something a little more, uh, special." River replied. "There's this little place I know that would be perfect for you two". She lent in and whispered the details to Amy as if she was afraid of being overheard. When she'd finished a minute later Amy's eyes were wide and she was trying to fight down the mental images that were queuing up for her consideration. "One more thing." River said "You're in a bit of an odd position in that you know all his fantasies but he doesn't know yours. Share some of them with him. If you think you can manage it pick something that both turns you on and scares you, show him you trust him just like he trusts you." Amy thought for a moment then a genuine smile burst across her face like the morning sun. "I know just the thing River... it's a bit silly though." "Tell me." Now it was Amy's turn to whisper in River's ear and after a good two minutes lent back to find River staring into space with a mix of surprise, amusement and, yes, lust on her face. "My my my Amy Pond... you HAVE got an active imagination." River laughed as she shook away several thoughts she really shouldn't be having about the young married woman sitting alongside her. "I really don't think you've got much to worry about when it comes to being the object of someone's fantasies." They both laughed and Amy lunged forward to hug River tightly. "Thank you so much" she whispered "I can't tell you how much it means to..." River interrupted her "Hey, any time. My pleasure. Now you go and have a good long talk with Rory, I'll have a quick chat with the Doctor and make sure he takes you where you need to go. Oh, and that he leaves you in peace for a while when you're there." Secrets are Best Shared "Who are you River?" Amy asked, natural curiosity bursting through her other concerns. "How can you boss the Doctor around like this, where do you know him from?" River just laughed. "Sorry Amy, you know the rules, no sneak peaks, no hints. You'll find out though, pretty soon actually. Anyway, come on, we'd better be getting back, you know what the Doctor's like when he gets bored." The two women walked back to the TARDIS much as they'd left, but now the silence was an easy one, the tension lifted and both with their own missions to focus on. As they reached that battered blue box they split, Amy going to Rory and sliding easily into his arms, River talking to the Doctor in low hushed voices. Above them the night sky was clear and bright, the stars above seeming to call to them all as if they'd stayed still to long and were running late. River said her goodbyes then vanished in a flash of light, off to who knew where in time and space. The Doctor, Amy and Rory took one last look around then stepped inside the TARDIS, the doors swinging shut behind them. 12:00, June 26th 3010 "Right, here we are, the Saturn Holo Hotel! The very best resort in the known universe and ever so slightly better as a wedding present than a set of salt and pepper pots." The Doctor threw open the TARDIS doors to reveal a lobby that could only be described as opulent. A marble floor, so brightly polished it was like looking at a mirror, seemed to stretch away in every direction, glass walls soared above them to form a dome at least a hundred foot tall and beyond the glass hung Saturn itself and its famous rings which seemed to sparkle and glow as they reflected the light of the cosmos back at any who cared to watch. "Now, you're booked in for 24 hours, couldn't manage longer than that even with the psychic paper, this place is usually booked up years in advance as it is. Everything's paid for so whatever you want while you're here just.. oh just go and enjoy yourselves." He gave them both a grin and turned to enter the TARDIS. "Hey, wait a minute, where are you going?" Amy said, understandably nervous about the TARDIS flying away without her again. "Don't worry, I'm just going to do a little trip back to Earth, there's some, uh, shopping I need to do." "Shopping? You?" "Yes, me. It's rare but it does happen. And the TARDIS knows you now, both of you, she won't have any trouble coming back. Now go have fun." The TARDIS groaned it's way into the vortex and left the newlyweds standing in the lobby of a hotel a thousand years and 821,000,000 miles away from where they were married just over two weeks ago. They looked at each other and burst out laughing at the absurdity of the situation. "Okay, come on." Amy said picking up the small bag she'd brought with her. "We'd better make the most of it while we can." "Yeah" Rory replied "after all, it won't be long before we find there's something horrible stalking the guests. Probably a killer mattress" "Rory..." Amy tried to sound annoyed but couldn't keep the giggle out of her voice. "Or room service that eats you." "Stop it" "Probably a lift that contains a spirit of ancient evil and muzak that steals your soul" "Actually I think I've been in that lift" "Blood thirsty bath tubs." "I swear I'm going to smack you in a minute" Somehow Rory managed to keep up a running commentary on various nasty things that could be found in a futuristic space hotel for the full ten minutes it took them to check in and get to their room. Amy was half hysterical by the time they made it to the right door, something about the idea of carnivorous dressing gowns in league with mind controlling complimentary mints had managed to spark her off and she couldn't quite stop laughing. "Okay, okay" she gasped, holding her side to try and catch her breath. "enough. You win the comedian of the year award!" "Told you I went into the wrong profession." Rory replied, placing his hand against the door to unlock it. In one quick motion he threw the door open, chucked his bag into the room, swung round, scooped Amy up in his arms and marched over the threshold. Into an empty white room. No, not white exactly, the walls, floor and ceiling were glowing softly as if the whole room was made of light and they seemed to float in the middle of it. "Okay..." he said, looking around while still holding his wife. "Well that probably explains how the Doctor managed to get the room if they're waiting for the decorators to come." "It's a Holo Hotel remember?" Amy replied, her lips so close to his ear her breath tickled him. "As in Holographic? You just imagine whatever you want and the room sorta... provides it for you." "What, anything?" "ANYthing" Amy damn near purred the word, moving slightly in his grip to snuggle against him. Rory gulped, images of his beautiful bride in very unbridle situations running through his head. He quickly fought them down, determined to be the sort of man Amy deserved, ashamed of himself for thinking such... perverse things. "Watch this" Amy concentrated and a large black leather couch appeared in the middle of the room. Rory walked towards it, still carrying her, and realised as he got close it really was a LARGE couch, easily big enough for two people to lie on side-by-side if they didn't mind being a bit intimate. All things considered he didn't think that'd be a problem. He laid her down and, pausing only to kick off his shoes, slid alongside her. "Okay, how did you know how to do that? I've been with you every time the Doctor mentioned this place and I know he didn't explain how it worked." "Well... to be honest, River told me. This was kinda her idea really." "I must remember to thank her the next time we see her. Uh, assuming it's a point in her timeline after she's told you of course." "There... there's something I really want to talk to you about Rory" Amy murmured her hands tracing his shoulders and sliding down his back. He didn't reply but moaned softly at her touch and his eyelids fluttered as he tried to stay focused on her face despite the distraction. "Didn't you ever wonder why I did it, why I went with the Doctor?" "Why did you run away on the night before our wedding you mean?" she couldn't bring herself to look at him, only nodded and waited for him to continue. "Well frankly I didn't get much time to think about it, After all that same night the Doctor turned up at my stag do, told all my friends he'd kissed you and just how good you were, dragged me off to the TARDIS followed by a quick side trip to Venice where you were in such a hurry to show off to him you rushed into the middle of a vampire fish filled fortress and almost got turned into a fish bride for ten thousand fish suitors in the process." Amy didn't quite know what to say, after all she knew that Rory had a point. Well, several points. Hell, every point in the known universe if she was being honest. She looked away, fighting back tears, determined not to cry in front of him. "Hey," A hand on her chin eased her gaze back to his, the voice whispering to her tender and full of love. "I didn't say I blamed you for it." "What? But I was.. I mean, it was a terrible thing to do and..." "No, it wasn't. Well, okay, under any other circumstances it might have been but come on, it was the Doctor, the man that's been in your dreams for longer than I've known you, the man who saved the world right in front of you and the man who can offer you the whole of time and space. If you hadn't gone with him you'd have regretted it for the rest of your life. Of course you had to." She reached up and kissed him, hungrily, trying to express physically what she didn't have words for. He returned that passion back, shifting slightly so that he was half lying on top of her and she couldn't resist hooking a leg around him to bring him close. He reached down and started to slide a hand under her blouse but she stopped him, breaking the kiss and gasping for air. "Wait, wait just a little longer, please. There's something I really need to tell you." Rory seemed to hover above her, shoulders heaving with the effort of restraining his desire but somehow he managed to comply with her request. "See, the thing is Rory, you're right...and I won't lie to you, if the Doctor had shown up a day earlier I don't know that I wouldn't do the exact same thing. But there was something else, something that I... that I should have told you right away but didn't and I'm sorry." "Uh, okay and, thank you, but I've got no idea what you're talking about you know." "Oh. Right. Well... the thing is... right before the Doctor turned up I found this book in my room..." Rory didn't say a word but burnt bright scarlet, a blush that started at the root of his hair and flushed over ever inch of visible skin. "And I promise, really, I didn't realise it wasn't mine and by the time I had I'd already read a bit and I couldn't stop myself and I'm really really sorry and" "Oh god, Amy... I'm so so sorry, it's just...." "I didn't know what to think and it just...." Both talking at once now, voices mixed and overlapping, Rory looking like he wished the world would open up and swallow him, Amy almost babbling as she tried to both reassure him and explain something she seemed unable to quite bring herself to say. "I'm sorry" both said those words in perfect unison and stopped, starring at each other in confusion. "You're sorry? Amy, why on Earth are you sorry? I'm the one that... that... well" "That seemed to spend every waking moment thinking about me? Why would I want you to apologise for that?" "Because... well... because I was so much better for you in my fantasies then I was in real life. I was such a... a coward." Now the tears did come to Amy's eyes and she reached up, pulling his head down, nestling him in her shoulder. "No, no you were magnificent for me. Everything I put you through you should have run away years ago. And, in case you forgot, you stood guard over me for two thousand years... just waiting for a chance, a slim slim chance, that you'd see me again even when you could have made it through all that time in the blink of an eye. Not good enough? You set the bar so high I don't think anyone will ever do better in this universe or any other." She stroked his hair and felt the gentle shakes of his body as fears he'd carried for far too many years evaporated under her loving touch and gentle words. It took her a good five minutes to muster up the courage to say what she knew she had to tell him and, oddly, it was the dampness on her shoulder and neck, the touch of his tears on her skin, that finally convinced her. Secrets, fears, doubts, all of it had to be dealt with here and now. A deep breath: "Rory... I was the one who wasn't good enough for you." He pulled away slightly, shocked and opened his mouth to speak. She pressed a finger to his lips, knowing she had to get through this in one go or she never would. "I... I was terrified reading that book, not that I should have in the first place I know, but here was this side of you I never knew existed and that excited me and and.... and I was afraid I'd never be able to live up to it." Rory lent down and gently kissed her lips then kissed away the tears that were flowing freely from this amazing, wonderful, mad, impossible woman that meant more to him than life itself. "Amy... the stuff in that book... it only existed BECAUSE of you. Even before the Doctor I'd seen you do so much, seen you been so confident, so sure so... so mesmerising that everyone in the room couldn't tear their eyes away from you. And then all that stuff with Prisoner Zero and the Doctor, good Amy if you could have seen yourself then. And then Venice... did the Doctor ever tell you I shouted at him? Told him that he made people try to impress him?" Amy shook her head, eyes locked on his. "Well I did and you know... it was true but the reason I was angry wasn't that you were trying... it's that I was so scared to follow you, to do the same thing. If we ever... you know... actually did any of the sort of thing that was written down.. by me.. I never thought for a moment, not for a single instant, that it'd all be perfect but I also didn't doubt that you'd be anything less than spectacular at whatever we tried." Rory smiled down at her and it seemed to Amy that he was almost glowing with love and pride in that moment. "My wife, traveler in time and space, written in legend across the universe, who faces down Cybermen and Egyptian Goddesses and weird... fish... people... without so much as blinking, who journeys with the nearest thing to a force of nature given flesh and who's natural instinct is to take the piss out of him... The Amy I wrote is a shadow of who you really are." She lunged for him at the same instant he melted into her and, words exhausted and their secrets finally both exposed and accepted, they tore into each other. Clothes flew, sometimes intact more often ripped apart to reach the flesh they covered. Foreplay be damned, in this moment they both wanted only one thing. Rory slid inside her roughly, one long motion until he was buried to the hilt, Amy's arms wrapped around his back, her fingers digging into him and scratching so deep she almost drew blood. Frantically they moved together, one entity in both body and soul, until just a few minutes later they both reached their climax together and collapsed naked onto the leather of the couch, panting. All it had done, they both knew, had taken the initial edge off, left them able to think straight again and maybe, just maybe, restore enough self control to fully take advantage of their wonderful surroundings. "So..." Rory said, a challenge in his voice, "how do you actually use this place anyway?"| "Just... just think about what you want, what you REALLY want. It'll happen." "Are you sure about this? I mean, don't you want to know what" Amy cut him off, placing a finger to his lips. "I trust you. Completely and utterly. Surprise me". Rory paused, then nodded and she saw something dance in his eyes that set her heart fluttering. A mix of desire and love unlike anything she'd seen before. He kissed her once, tenderly, then stood and looked around, imagining the possibilities. He closed his eyes, and the room rippled around them. The white walls faded away, replaced with stone, their soft warm glow melting into the harsher light of flaming torches. The floor too turned to stone, several thick rugs scattered around the room, each one strategically positioned beneath metal frames designed to bind and hold the human body in particularly open and vulnerable positions. Around the walls glinted racks of vicious looking tools, crops, floggers, paddles and other, stranger devices with harsh metal edges catching the flickering torchlight. In the middle of the room, lit by a single spotlight (the only hint of modern technology to be seen Amy noticed) was a particularly elaborate device, best described as a wooden X frame set inside a metal circle. The X frame was polished to such a finish it seemed to drink in the light, only the red leather straps that adorned it breaking its smooth lines. Amy had to admit that, despite herself, she was impressed. The level of detail alone was more than she'd expected but the whole place certainly filled her mind with a whirlwind of possibilities. As she finished taking in her new surroundings she realised with a start that his clothes had changed. Instead of the smart suit he'd been wearing he was dressed in simple black trousers and a white shirt, both cut loose and more suited to the Victorian era than the thirty first century. She had to admit they suited him in an odd way, strange as he'd never seemed quite able to find an outfit that he felt comfortable in back in Leadworth. She glanced down and realised she was somewhat out of place in the setting and looked back at him. "So... aren't you going to dress me?" She asked with a raised eyebrow and a challenge on her lips. "No" "No?" "No. Two reasons: Firstly this is our fantasy, not mine. It's sort of... a symbolic thing that you actually want to do this. And secondly I'm terrible at picking out clothes for you. Remember the pink sweater I got you for Christmas?" "Ah, yes, you do have a point there. Okay, give me a minute here" Amy looked around her, seeking inspiration. For a moment she panicked as she drew a blank but only for a moment. She was, after all, in a room where anything could happen with the man she not only loved but had married. A man who'd cared for her so deeply as to watch over her for almost two thousand years. How could she possibly be frightened of this now? She looked over at Rory and raised a hand. Instantly the flames died in the torches, the spotlight dimmed and they were plunged into darkness. A shimmering glow sprung up around her, a wave of golden light racing up her body, removing her clothes as it went and outlining her every curve. Rory stared at Amy, HIS Amy, shining like a goddess, naked yet so bright you couldn't see more than the barest hint of her flesh. He'd been expecting the light to fade, to flow away as it had come and leave her clothed once more. But Amy Pond was nothing if not creative and without warning she seemed to explode, the light bursting away from her, so bright Rory stumbled in surprise and half fell to his knees shielding his eyes. As he blinked away the afterimages and tried to see straight in the still dark room he could hear a slow, steady clicking sound moving closer. It stopped in front of him and he could just make out a dim shape towering above him. The torches flared back into life and any semblance of rational thought left him. He'd expected her to go for something revealing, something very, well, traditional for a domina. He'd been right on the traditional side at least, he'd just been expecting 21st century traditional, not 15th. A blood red, crushed velvet skirt flowed down from her hips until it brushed the floor, tight around the hips before sweeping outwards to pool around her feet and giving the impression she could glide across the floor rather than walk. A matching corset circled her body giving her a shape he hadn't realised was possible, her bare shoulders and chest almost ethereal as the dress drank in the light. A cloak was fastened around her throat and ran down to her hips and her hair was teased into the most incredible shape that would have taken her hours to achieve on her own, curling and writhing around itself and pulled back to ensure nothing obscured her face. She moved slightly to one side and he caught a glimpse of tall heels beneath the dress pushing her up to over six foot, slightly more if you measured to the highest hair. She looked, quite simply, as if she'd walked out of the very best dream Rory had ever had and then some. Beautiful, yes, but the overall effect was a mix of desirable and intimidating leaving no doubt in his mind that here was someone who would only ever consent to so much as look at you if she wanted to. It wouldn't have mattered to him if the world ended that very moment as he couldn't imagine that a better sight could possibly exist within it. He knew in the back of his mind he should be dropping his head, averting his gaze until given permission to look upon her, but he was utterly transfixed. It was thanks to that indiscretion that he caught the flicker of reflected torchlight on her left hand and realised, with a start, that despite the transformation in both appearance and mannerism she still wore his wedding ring on her finger. "I see you haven't bothered to dress properly boy." Even her voice had changed, the Scottish accent thicker now, her tone colder and more distant. No, no not distant exactly... superior. He shivered at how close it was to what he'd dreamed, what he'd written down in overlong prose what felt like a lifetime ago.