0 comments/ 12992 views/ 15 favorites Pitch Perfect: Adventures with J-Mo By: Zev95 Some nights, the RA had a hangover and singing anything above the level of wait'll you see my dick was out of the question. On those nights, you sucked it up and turned to more obscure college entertainment, like drinking and party games. "My turn?" Beca asked, before taking her obligatory shot. "Dare." Aubrey smiled at her, always loving to turn the screws. "Say that Nicki Minaj's Anaconda is the song of the summer." Beca wiped the whiskey off her lips. "I'm not doing that." Sitting beside her in the crowded dorm room, Chloe gave her a pout-smile. "It's not a bad song, Bec." "Yes, it is. It's repetitive and it does things to Sir Mix-A-Lot's seminal classic that the bar patrons in a Jodie Foster movie would cheer on. Guys, just because something has a feminist message doesn't mean it's good." "Hence it being a dare," Aubrey said smugly. "Yeah, I got that," Beca replied, equally snide. "Truth." Aubrey smiled wickedly. "Who is the best sexual partner you've ever had?" Cynthia-Rose whooped loudly. "Now we're getting somewhere!" "That is not an appropriate question!" Beca hissed. "And you're only asking it because you think I'm going to say it's you." Chloe patted her hand. "It's alright, Beca. You can say it's her if it's, you know, her. Just because we're girlfriends and we love each other and we brighten each other's worlds like the summer sun doesn't mean I'd mind if you said that a casual hook-up outside of our progressive, open relationship was better for you than me." Beca slapped her forehead. "I hate alcohol." "Guys, I think we all know who she's gonna say." Stacie winked at Becca. "Shit!" Cynthia-Rose cried. "If I knew how much pussy you straight women got, I never would've gone gay." Beca felt defensive. "I hadn't slept with Lilly either!" "Not that you know of," Lilly said under her breath. "I'm not like Magic Johnson or something," Becca insisted. "Jesse went gay too, and he's hooked up way more than I have! Why don't you ask him who the best lay is?" Fat Amy huffed a laugh. "Because he slept with John Barrowman. Obviously he's going to say John Barrowman." "Looks like you're finally going to show your appreciation for the lyrical genius of Nicki Minaj." Aubrey had somehow gotten more smug. Beca sneered at her. "You really wanna know the best sex I've ever had?" "No, we wanna know what your thoughts are on peace in the Middle East," Cynthia-Rose said sarcastically. "I say she's for it," Lilly added, not that anyone heard her. "Alright. If you must know. The best fuck I ever had—probably the time Jennifer Morrison fucked me in the ass." There was a level of silence that even the opening notes of a Beach Boys song would've disappeared into. "You have anal sex?" Chloe asked finally. "Oh yeah," Beca replied. *** JENNIFER MORRISON TOOK MY ANAL VIRGINITY *** Three years ago... "Barden Bellas, my world champion National A Capella Champions!" Aubrey always drew herself up taller when she had an announcement to make. Beca kept reading her book on the founding of the NWA, trying hard to display the cover and still maintain a comfortable reading posture. "It is my privilege to announce that not only with Barden University be having the world-famous actress Jennifer Morrison here today to deliver our commencement speech, but, due to budget cutbacks and an unexpected turn-out for the nearby Republican Egyptologist Convention, she will in fact be staying with us!" "Question," Beca said, in the tone of voice she didn't use for questions. "Since we're currently staying with us, where exactly will she be staying? I for one already have a roommate." "I was hoping you'd ask that!" Aubrey replied, in the tone of voice she used when she wasn't hoping Beca would be saying anything. "Since you and Chloe have been so blessed as to find a certain romance which Chloe assures me does not take time away from your practice or duties as world champion National A Capella Champions..." "Why do you keep saying we're the world champions?" "The American A Capella Champions are pretty much champions of the world," Stacie explained. "There's not much competition on an international level." "You mean the rest of the world isn't into a capella?" Beca went back to her book. "Foreigners getting a little of my respect back after making Transformers 4 a hit." "You didn't respect them after hearing Head Games?" Fat Amy asked. "If we could focus?" Aubrey said. "Beca, frankly, you and Chloe have been going out for months and it's getting a little inappropriate that the two of you haven't moved in together yet anyway." "I'm like the wind," Beca said. "I can't be tied down. I've got to be free to ride motorcycles at night and play pool." "Are you being sarcastic now? It's hard to tell, that seems like your normal speaking voice." "Does it?" "I still can't tell if you're being sarcastic." "That's too bad." "I still can't—" "Should I even bother pointing out that you're, like, an afterschool program and you can't actually dictate to me that I should move in with my girlfriend?" Everyone looked at Beca. "That was pretty harsh," Cynthia-Rose said. *** "We are going to be such good roommates," Chloe said, not having been present at the meeting so she could finish putting up the welcome banner for Jennifer Morrison. "Think about it, Bec. We're both girls and we're dating—we can wear each other's clothes!" Beca stared at Chloe's cardigan. "Yeah. That was my first thought too." She sat down on the bed as Chloe got on her laptop to do something with a PDF. Staring at Chloe's hair, she had to admit, at least the place had a good view. "Guess what?" Chloe asked. "Stradivarius." "No. Jennifer Morrison has not only agreed to deliver a commencement speech here, but she'll be giving an interview to The Bind, our school's gay, lesbian, asexual, and transgender newsletter!" "They're the ones who did a story on us holding hands, right?" "They asked me if I wore gloves," Chloe confirmed, glad Beca had remembered. "And as a valued contributor to The Bind, I will be asking Ms. Morrison all the intimate, probing questions her queer fans demand answers to!" "Like, why gay people care if there's lesbian subtext in a network television Disney fanfic?" "Bec! Representation is important. Imagine if people just denied our relationship and said that you had a thing for, I don't know, John Stamos." Beca was not having the representation discussion again. Chloe seemed to care about this stuff a lot more than she did, since Beca didn't care about anything. "So who is Jennifer Morrison anyway? Besides—Princess Odette or whatever." "Odette isn't even in Disney canon," Chloe chided, as if Beca had misremembered that two plus two was four. "And Jennifer Morrison has had a long, storied career on stage and screen. She was on House!" "I don't watch TV." "And How I Met Your Mother!" "I don't watch TV," Beca reiterated. "Besides, I thought you only cared about celebrities who had kissed other women so you could make gifs about them and put them on your tumblr." "Don't be silly, Bec. They don't have to kiss other women these days, we can Photoshop that!" *** Jennifer had a hell of a hangover. She cast around the bed until she found a surface that wasn't wobbling—an ass, hairy ass, she didn't remember going to bed with a man, just a woman with a strap-on. Grabbing hold of it, she opened her ring and poured out an emergency bump of coke, snorted it, and felt her headache fade. Course, now she was feeling hyper, so she dug her tabs of E out from under the bed and took one of those. Working on House over the years, Jennifer had become a master of self-medication. She found her clothes, all that she wanted to keep anyway, and bundled them under her arm as she walked out of the bedroom. A six-year-old stared at her. Great. She'd had another threesome with a couple that'd crotch-bombed. You'd think fucking only lesbian couples would help, but apparently when Jen took too many shrooms, it got hard for her to tell genders. Not that it was ever easy with millennials these days. As Jen dressed, she wondered—where the hell was she? Was she supposed to be filming something? No, she'd slept too long to make it to filming, they would've sent someone for her if she was supposed to be on set. So it was probably the off-season, which meant she had to be doing promotional. Visiting every flea bite in the country, trying to convince grown adults to watch a show about pixie dust and shit. Christ, this was why she liked the lesbians—at least they had the excuse of waiting for her to fuck that Queen bitch. Why did anyone else watch? A pressing need to see just how bad child actors could be? Speaking of children, that six-year-old was still staring at her. Little pervert. She gave him the finger as she checked her phone. She was at a college, and she had to give a commencement speech about something somewhere. Fuck, kids, I don't know how to break it to you, but you're screwed. Get into porn now, while you still have time to build a fanbase. There, that was practice enough. Fully dressed, except for her bra, which she wasn't sure she'd been wearing in the first place, Jennifer stepped outside to find her car wasn't in the driveway. Great. Now she had to hotwire one. *** Aubrey was, of course, happy for the Jennifer Morrison's first impression of the Barden Bellas to be herself. She allowed Chloe, who wouldn't say anything embarrassing, to accompany her along with Lilly, who wouldn't say anything embarrassing loud enough for Jennifer Morrison to hear. Together, in their matching flight attendant outfits, which Aubrey still maintained was the most dignified a professional woman could look, they stood under the banner in the center of a small milling of curiosity seekers. They watched as a black Taurus crept into the parking lot, then accelerated suddenly, mounting the curb before it went into park and shut off. Then J-Mo herself stepped out, in a ragged pair of jeans, a black leather jacket, and a black tanktop. Though the engine had been shut off, the headlights were still on. "She's more glorious than I could've imagined-!" Chloe moaned under her breath. "Keep it together, Chlo! We are, after all, the world champion National Champion—" "You the A Capella folks?" Jennifer asked, strutting up to them. She tossed Lilly the keys. "Hide that somewhere. Be discrete, it might have something in the trunk." "I haven't driven since the carjacking," Lilly said. "I have a court order not to." No one heard her. Aubrey gathered herself. She knew that Jennifer Morrison was probably from Australia, and in Australia they didn't really know how to drive. That was why those Mad Max movies made so much money. "Ms. Morrison, I am Aubrey Posen, thank you very much for gracing our humble, but very progressive, educational institute with your—" "Yeah, you're the roller derby girls, right?" Aubrey was somewhat confused. For a moment, she wondered if Beca had managed to dress up as Jennifer Morrison—and grow a foot taller. "No, we're—the Barden Bellas, you just said—" "Why are you dressed as stewardesses if you're not in roller derby?" "It's a good look, adhering to a time of great social progress and career opportunity for a refined class of the female—" Jennifer snapped her fingers, turning it into a point at Aubrey. "You won the thing." Aubrey inwardly cheered, happy to finally be recognized. "Yes! We won the thing!" "You wanna show it to me? I love seeing things." "Yes, of course, I'd be more than happy to! Chloe, get Ms. Morrison's bags." "Don't have any bags. Travel light. Like the wind. But I could use these if I'm gonna give a speech." She took a folded up piece of paper from her pocket, unfolded it, scrutinized it, wadded it up, dropped it on the ground, took out another folded piece of paper, unfolded it, checked it, then handed it to Chloe. "Most of it you should be able to get at Wal-Mart." "'The Penetrator XL with mounted fake testicles,'" Chloe read. "Ask if they have it in the back," Jennifer suggested. "You're old enough to buy cigarettes, right?" *** Aubrey showed Jennifer Morrison to the trophy room, which doubled as her room. Her roommate had thought it was weird that she had a trophy case with no trophies, and tried to put a bong in it, but now Aubrey had the National Champion A Capella Cup behind glass. She'd also had spare keys made for all the Bellas, in case they wanted to come into her room at any time and look at the Cup, or possibly bring friends to see it. Of course, Aubrey doubted any of them had brought someone as prestigious as Jennifer Morrison into its presence. "There it is," Aubrey said, as always, a little misty before their championship. "Just think, we did it all with our mouths." "Not bad." Jennifer leaned forward. "Got a little plaque and everything." She wheeled back, smiling. "Course, it's not much compared to you." "Me?" "Of course. I like looking at you next to it. It's like, this shining example of modern femininity, beside a glowing showcase of what womanhood can accomplish." "You really think so?" Aubrey boggled. Not even Chloe had ever said that, and Aubrey had tried prompting her. Jennifer nodded. "It's really empowering. Do you think I could use it in my speech?" "Yes! Yes, of course!" "I am so overcome with the power of femininity right now." "Me too!" "You think I could look at your vagina?" Aubrey looked down automatically. "My vag?" "I just—" Jennifer knotted up her hands. "Feel a little incomplete, seeing all this female power and not being able to see the seat. Of your female power. The vulva. The vagina. The labia. The clit. It's like I'm not seeing the real you." Aubrey thought about it. She hadn't shown her vagina to anyone—not in the presence of the trophy. But Jennifer Morrison seemed to understand. She quickly unzipped her skirt. "Well, you are Jennifer Morrison." "That I am." Aubrey did it in one fit of courage, dropping her skirt, stepping out of it, then lowering her panties. "There!" "Wow!" Jennifer cried, clapping her hands to her cheeks. "Your vagina is amazing." "Thanks!" "I feel like I can see the power coming off it. Just like this amazing, goddess-strength which has had a bikini wax." Aubrey preened a little. With her vagina. Jennifer got down on her knees for a closer look. "This is the best vagina I've ever seen, Aubrey, really. I wanna pay homage to your vagina." "You mean, like, with Vajazzling? Because I have a kit..." "No, Aubrey. There's this ritual I love to do with my female co-stars, a way of sharing the miracle of having a vagina, and I know we only just met, but I would really like to do it with you." "I love sharing the miracle of having a vagina!" "I thought you might," Jennifer said, and started eating Aubrey out. At first, Aubrey was surprised at Jennifer Morrison's face being on her pussy, but then she was only surprised at how good it felt. God, Jennifer Morrison really knew how to bring out the pleasure of having goddess-strength. And as Jennifer Morrison ate out her latest conquest, she thought of how lucky she was to find the one college in America where lesbians dressed up as stewardesses and exercised their tongues daily. Shit, she was going to go through this place like a lawn-mower through grass. *** Ever since their win at Nationals, the eastern ladies' dorm had been cannibalized as the Barden Bellas' headquarters. The common room was almost entirely Bellas, with everyone else studying on the grass in the quad. Beca watched as Chloe dropped another load of plastic bag on the floor. It must've been a big order if she'd run out of tote bags to carry it in. "Booking yourself on Doomsday Preppers, young lady?" "No, Jennifer Morrison just wanted a few things. You could help me carry them in." "Or I could rub your tired, aching back later," Beca said sympathetically. "Who's paying for all this, anyway? Did Jennifer Morrison give you her credit card?" "No, my dad did. He said to use it for emergencies only, and Jennifer Morrison is definitely an emergency." "I'll say," Jennifer said as she stepped out of the trophy room. All eyes were on her, not on Aubrey, who followed her out a moment later with her jacket open and her shirt ruffled. Only Beca noticed. "Here's everything on your list," Chloe said proudly, gesturing to the bags all around her. "I couldn't get the handgun, they said there was a waiting period..." "I'm disappointed in you, Chloe," Jennifer interrupted. Aubrey followed, snarling and shutting her jacket. "You've disappointed Jennifer Morrison!" "I'm sorry... I'll talk to this black guy I know..." "Chloe's very sorry," Aubrey added to Jennifer. "Now then, these are the rest of the Bellas and some of your biggest fans: Amy, Cynthia-Rose..." "Wow, you're looking great," Jennifer interrupted to tell Stacie. "Are you a model?" Stacie shook her head. "No, actually I get hired by comic book conventions to dress up as Slave Leia." "So you're an actress." "I guess so—" "Have you ever auditioned?" "No, I couldn't possibly..." "Come with me, I'll give you a few pointers." Jennifer put her arm around Stacie's shoulders to lead her away. "First thing, you have to loosen up. Do you have any Jack Daniels?" Beca wheeled on the rest of the Bellas, still waiting for their introduction. "Okay, did that seem really weird to anyone else?" "Well, I didn't get her her handgun," Chloe reasoned. "We all deal with loss in different ways." "I've been to Texas; that wasn't handgun sadness. It seems more like all Jennifer Morrison has done since she's gotten here is try to get young, impressionable women alone with her." "That's enough, cadet!" Aubrey was shrill; Beca was mouthing 'cadet?' "How Jennifer Morrison expresses her goddess spirit with her sister females is just her business! She was on House!" Beca spread her arms in confusion. "So was Omar Epps." "Exactly! Chlo, find something for Beca to do. Seduce her, if you have to!" "Are you ordering us to have sex now?" Beca asked. "Any positions you'd like us to try, chief?" "I'm sure I wouldn't know. But tribbing is a beautiful, equitable expression of Sapphic love, if you're asking seriously." "I wasn't." "Fine then. Sixty-nine for all I care. C'mon, Bellas, let's go do some jogging! Beca will just have to miss out!" "You're being way harsh," Beca called after her, with about the usual sarcasm. Chloe was standing next to her. "And I hope you don't think we're going to have sex just because Aubrey told you to." "No, no—it would be kind of interesting, though, her kinda telling us what to do, sorta dominating us..." "No." "Alright then!" Chloe hemmed her hands behind her back, rocking on her heels. "You could help me prepare for my interview with Ms. Morrison." "Yeah, more Jennifer Morrison. That's what I need in my life." "I'm going to assume that's agreement sarcasm," Chloe said. "You still have your digital camera, right? You can take photos of us for the article!" "Yeah, I'll go—shit, I left it in my old room when Aubrey kicked me out, which I'm still not sure how she managed—" "Well, go!" Chloe told her. "Go, go, go!" Beca started for the door. "You're very assertive for someone who gets Fifty Shades of Grayed by Aubrey in your spare time." Pitch Perfect: Adventures with J-Mo "As co-leader of the Bellas, I'm expected to both follow orders and give them!" Chloe said crisply. "And you found the least sexy way to share that information. Groovy." *** Beca walked into her old room to find herself facing an ass. It was bent over Jennifer Morrison's legs as she sat on the bed, her wide belt wrapped by the buckle end around her fist. The other half she brought down in a series of vicious arcs on Stacie's bare cheeks, the stinging crack of it making Beca wince almost as much as her fellow Bella. "Oh fuck!" Stacie wailed, her ass squirming wildly, her legs kicking with each snap of the belt. "Oh please, Jennifer Morrison, it hurts!" "Such a bad girl!" Jennifer Morrison hissed, her words crackling almost as loud as the whistle of the belt whipping through the air, into Stacie's wiggling ass. "Naughty, naughty-!" "What the hell is this?" Beca demanded. Jennifer Morrison looked up sharply, instantly stopping the belting, even rubbing Stacie's sore, discolored bottom. "I... don't know if I can make it more obvious what's going on?" "It's been five minutes and you're having kinky sadomasochistic sex?" "I had to use the bathroom first," Stacie said defensively. "Kimmy Jin, you want to jump in here?" Kimmy Jin didn't look up from her computer. "Honestly, Jennifer's a better roommate at this point. At least seeing her spank someone isn't depressing." "What do I do that's depressing?" Beca demanded. "Like... everything...?" Beca huffed back to Jennifer Morrison. "If you're done disciplining Stacie, you promised my friend Chloe an interview." "Give us half an hour. Stacie's been very naughty." Beca rolled her eyes as she left. *** An hour later, Jennifer was dressed semi-respectably, Stacie was off somewhere—not sitting down, Beca wagered—and Chloe, dressed in her professional interview attire, was sitting across from Jen in the lawn chairs Beca had gotten off a curb and been using as free furniture forever. Kimmy Jin had left, making the dorm room cozy enough for the three women to co-exist in, Beca snapping the occasional picture as the two talked. As much as she tried to catch Jen at a bad angle, the woman was stunning. "I suppose what I really want to do is direct," Jen pressed on at minute four of her answer to some softball question about her hopes and dreams. Chloe kept nodding, which was like pumping steroids into Jennifer's answering muscle. "We've had some great directors on Once Upon A Time, and hey, if anyone should be telling pretty people what to do, it's me!" Chloe laughed dutifully, Beca taking a picture of it. "What about the commencement speech this weekend? Does that kind of, if not acting, public speaking, offer any challenge to a woman of your talents, or is it something you can do in your sleep?" "Well, Chloe, unfortunately for my schedule, I can't do anything in my sleep." They both laughed. Beca wondered if there was a suicide hotline deal for when you wanted to kill someone else. "But everything has its own challenges, even just standing in the back of the scene, without any lines, you still have to project a certain forcefulness or the audience isn't seeing Emma Swan, they're seeing Jennifer Morrison. And, me, personally, I like to see every acting job as an opportunity to stretch a new muscle. For instance, this weekend, I'll be delivering the commencement speech as a man." Chloe was awestruck. "Oh my God, I don't think we've ever had a woman deliver a commencement speech as a man before!" "You gonna grow a beard?" Beca asked. "Bec!" Chloe snapped her fingers at her like she was a disobedient dog. "I'm sure my friend here would just like some insight into your process. How does one... become... a man?" "It's very complicated, Chloe. You see, when you're portraying a character, whether it's on film, TV, stage, or motion capture, part of you has to become invisible to let the work of the directors and the writers shine through. But you can't fade away entirely; you have to make a certain part of yourself excessively visible and draw from that to create a whole performance. To play Emma Swan, I rely on our great wardrobe department—we have a great wardrobe department, just fantastic—and some of the work I leave to the jeans, the plaid, the leather jacket, the sidearm. I just let it all act through me. It's like, how do you act that gravity is holding you to the Earth? You don't! You just let the gravity—hold you." "Wow..." "It's all part of the process," Jen insisted humbly. "Lana reads lesbian porn to get into character, I shoot at stuff. I take a can or an old script and I just shoot it a few times. It's like flicking a light switch. I'm not Jennifer Morrison shooting something anymore, I'm Emma Swan shooting something. Now—excuse me—" Jen stood, Chloe ducking aside to avoid being hit as Jennifer walked by her. "With the commencement speech, I want to perform as absolutely male in every aspect. I've already spent two, three, four hours a day talking online with other men, as a man, but that's all just intelligentsia. You have to let it go, because it's a crutch. At the end of the day, what I need is one of these." Beca's eyebrows snapped up as she watched Jennifer open a purse and take out a strap-on dildo. She secured it to the crotch of her jeans, snapping the white straps around her hips, then circling the base with her fingers so she was holding it the way a man would hold the real thing. "As you can see, it's nine inches, which is quite large, but it's like in animation, you have to exaggerate the thing to properly capture its essence." Chloe pointed her pen at the strap-on. "I notice it's not the most realistic dildo. No skin tone, no veins, no testicles—wouldn't that help it be more effective as an acting aid?" "Oh, no. See, by buying a nonrealistic green dildo, I can be sure of the unreality of the situation. If I wore a more realistic dildo, and I went through my acting process with it on, I would begin to think I really was a man." "That's incredible," Chloe breathed. "Yes. Very not credible," Beca 'agreed.' She got a shot of the strap-on. Jennifer eyed her before looking at Chloe. "Would you like to touch it?" "Oh, I couldn't possibly—" "No, it would help. If I'm going to portray a man, then a woman should help define my manhood." "You really think I could do that?" Chloe asked. "Chloe, I just look at you and I feel like a man. Touch my dildo." Chloe reached out and put her hand on it. "Whoa. I expected it to be cold." "That's actually a selling point. The material it's made out of is a special kind of plastic that doesn't get cold. In fact—try rubbing it a little—it retains heat for a long time. It's a very Space Age thing, I think they build part of the Space Shuttles out of this stuff." "I see what you mean!" Chloe said, running her hand up and down Jennifer's dildo. "When I move my hand back over where my hand used to be, I can still feel how warm it was." "That's called friction," Beca said. Jennifer shot her a look before returning her gaze to Chloe. "Okay, I'm going to start acting like a man and I want you to tell me if it feels different, okay? Okay—here I go." Jennifer closed her eyes, her head drifting back. Chloe continued pumping the dildo until Jen gave a soft moan. "I think it's getting hotter!" Chloe exclaimed. "Still friction," Beca said. "That feels really good," Jen said in a deep, gruff voice. "But I could use my own hand if I just wanted to jerk off. Why don't you put your mouth on it?" Chloe looked from the dildo to Jen's insistent, piercing eyes. "But—then who'll ask you the questions for the interview?" "Beca can do that. Can't you, Beca?" "Oh, yeah, I'd love to ask your questions while you give Jennifer Morrison a fake blowjob." "Then it's settled!" Jen cried, grabbing Chloe's head. "I think that was sar—" Chloe began, only to have her mouth forced down onto Jennifer Morrison's strap-on. She found it pressed against her face, and without further hesitation, her dry lips opened and her wet, red tongue slithered over the entire head of the plastic phallus. She swirled her tongue all over it, leaving it glistening with saliva, then gripped the shaft in a strong hand and, holding it steady, stretched her lips as far as they could go, easing the thick cockhead inside her mouth. Not sure what else to do, Beca picked up Chloe's cheat sheet. "'What advice would you give to aspiring actresses out there?'" Her hands on Chloe's head, Jennifer gently urged the redhead up and down on her dildo. "I would say to just give a hundred and ten percent, always, no matter what you're doing. Prepare as much as possible, every little thing you can, it's ninety percent of your final performance. If you have the luxury of choosing your roles, which you won't always, don't choose the script, choose the director." She rocked her hips, shoving the strap-on into Chloe's throat. "Any good director you'll be working very closely with, so you want someone you can trust. It really is like going into battle, and without a good commander, you can't win." "Uh-huh," Beca said, now hearing Chloe gagging on the strap-on as it was forced into her gullet. "'Are you presently dating?'" "Oh, I couldn't possibly talk about my personal life. I especially don't want to comment on rumors that I'm dating Chris Martin, it really is nobody's business but ours." "Yeah... 'what historical personality would you like to play if the choice was entirely up to you?'" Jennifer nodded along. "Speaking of that, I think your friend should stop giving me a blowjob—" "Yes." "And I should fuck you up the ass." "Ye—wait, what?" "Let's quit playing these games, Beca." Jennifer's eyes bored into the college student as Chloe continuing deep-throating her strap-on. "You've been thinking about me fucking your ass since we started this interview." "I've been thinking about literally everything but that." "It's alright, Beca. I've been feeling this chemistry between us too. This anal chemistry." "We don't have anal chemistry. Chloe, you wanna step in here?" "Huh?" Chloe took the strap-on out of her mouth. Jennifer petted her head. "Chloe, Beca here wants me to fuck her up the ass." "I literally—" "It's fine with me. Beca, you've got to try this strap-on. It's seriously just like interacting with an actual male member." "That's really not the hold-up for me." "Wait, Beca—do you not want to have anal sex?" "No." "Oh. My, I am sorry." Jennifer tapped Chloe on the head and she started fellating her strap-on again. "I suppose I overreached a little there. It's just being in college again, I keep thinking about my own time here. All the things I learned, all the friends I made—and I guess the most that I learned about, and the biggest friend that I made, were myself. I really don't have any regrets from my time in college, not the drugs, not the stealing, not the prostitution—I just wish I had done more to explore who I was and what I wanted from life, because college is this big laboratory where you'd supposed to experiment with everything the world has to offers, and outside of that, your twenties, your thirties—man. It's so easy to get locked in a rut and deny what you really want from..." "If I let you fuck me in the ass, will you shut up?" Beca asked. "Yes." "And I want all the money you have in your wallet." "I have five thousand dollars in my wallet." "I'm a backdoor virgin." "Deal." Grabbing Chloe by the hair, Jennifer pulled her off her dick and tossed her aside. She came for Beca fast, grabbing her by the lapels like fucking Batman and pulling her into an eager kiss. Beca actually whimpered, feeling a tongue invade her throat. Two hands touched her ass, groping it like a subway pervert before slipping under her waistband. She felt a pair of fingers massaging her asshole. "Fuck, ever hear of foreplay?" Beca asked, tightening up with sudden fear. Jennifer tapped at her clenched hole one more time before her fingers slid away. "Easy, kitten," she said softly, moving down to caress the lower curves of Beca's ass. She lightly circled her fingers over the join of Beca's legs and hips, then tugged Beca's shorts down to her thighs and fondled Beca's panty-clad ass some more. Her fingers were suddenly strong as steel, dipping between her milky-white cheeks and prying them apart. Out of sheer stubbornness, Beca tried desperately to keep herself closed, but she was no match for the lust Jennifer Morrison felt. Those hard fingers opened her up and Beca felt a sudden, intense humiliation, knowing that Chloe was behind her, seeing her exposed asshole. Her muscles automatically flexed, trying to protect her, prevent the penetration she knew was coming—Jennifer smiled at her as she extended her middle finger into her puckered asshole. Beca went "MMMMM!", her lips pressed tightly together, seeing only Jennifer's grin as the first knuckle of her long finger went up Beca's ass. "Fuck!" Beca cried. "Fuck, that's big..." Jennifer chortled. "If you think that's big, honey..." She slapped her strap-on against Beca's leg. Beca whimpered helplessly. She'd committed to this, agreed to it, but she still felt like shivering when she actually thought about it. Just the idea of a huge dildo inside her tiny ass seemed nonsensical. Jen looked over at Chloe. "You like watching, ho?" Chloe nodded. "Then watch this," Jen quipped, driving the rest of her finger inside. "Shit! Shit, take it out!" Beca gasped, Jennifer wiggling her fingertip around. "You're gonna have to get used to it, my dear." With little concern for Beca's histrionics, Jennifer's slender finger pushed deeper into Beca's ass. With every little jerk, Beca expected an onslaught of pain that never came. Still, she was scared out of her wits, feeling that deceptively leaden pressure wedge itself in the tight resistance of her ass. "It hurts-!" she pleaded. "No, it doesn't. Not yet," Jennifer said confidently. "It'll hurt when I make it hurt, and by then you'll be so far gone, you'll beg to be hurt so good. Motherfucker, your shit is just tight as a drum, ain't it?" Jennifer wormed more of her finger inside and there was nothing Beca could do except—enjoy it? She thought she felt Jennifer's strap-on throbbing against her thigh. She couldn't clench up her body all night. Jennifer was going to fuck her up the ass, she knew—all that remained to be seen was how it would feel. Like a telephone pole or just a baseball bat? God, God, how had she gotten herself into this mess? How could she think this would be fun? Bit by bit, inch by inch, her ass relaxed, loosened, gave in to the use Jennifer Morrison would put it to. Beca clenched her teeth, ready for the pain at last. Not that it came. No, Jennifer's finger—her two fingers, now—slid easily into Beca's ass. It took her breath away, but there wasn't much in the way of pain. Just a steady in-out, in-out, as Jen pumped Beca's ass with her fingers, slow then fast, readying it for rougher treatment. "Chloe, lubricant!" she ordered. Chloe had been laying on her ass, silently fixated on her best friend and girlfriend being deflowered before her. It took a few calls of her name to get her to respond. She scrambled up, dug through the bags she had brought in for Jen, and found the lubricant she had bought. Cherry-flavored. "Pour it on my hand, in her ass. Like you're stuffing a turkey." Chloe did as she was told, pouring out thick dollops of it into Jen's palm so it streamed down her fingers, into Beca's wetly gaping ass. Beca jerked and gasped as the cold fluid piled up on her. It only made her more nervous. Jennifer leered as she saturated Beca with the silky fluid, spreading it over Beca's crack and cheeks as well. When she was done, she tossed Beca on the bed, where the student automatically scrambled to her hands and knees, her ass facing Jen. She tried to move, but Jen collared the back of her neck with her hand and held her still, pumping three fingers' worth of lube into her ass with her other hand. "Gonna get your little fuck-hole all nice and wet. Nice and wet for my cock, just like I did Ginnifer Gershon." Jen snapped her head around, glaring heatedly at a mesmerized Chloe. "Yeah, she plays my mom, so what? I wish Josh Dallas would let me fuck him in the ass too!" "Jesus!" Beca rasped. Jennifer pressed her dildo along the crevice of Beca's ass. "This is Jesus," she said. She pushed up and down with her strap-on, sliding its lubricated weight up and down Beca's crack, finding Beca moaning in response. When Beca's little ass started to move, Jennifer Morrison knew she was ripe for having her ass fucked. She took one last look at Beca's cute pink asshole, then aimed her cock squarely at the center and shoved forward. "Shit! No!" Beca squealed as she started to stretch, far more reluctantly than she had for Jennifer's finger. "That's too big, that is too big, I can't take it, I can't get your cock in my ass, you'll rip me in half, it's too big!" "Goddamn right it's too big," Jennifer replied, tightly gripping Beca's jerking thighs and continuing to strain against her resistant asshole. "It's way too big for a scared little girl to take. You're gonna have to be a big girl to take this dick. Relax and try to enjoy it, bitch, because it's not getting any smaller!" Beca moaned out the searing pain that shot through her tight little belly as her asshole gave in, the unyielding pressure of Jennifer's rigid pole crushing against her asshole until it stretched open, letting Jen's cockhead pop inside. Beca gurgled, choked, feeling the alien presence where none had been before. "That's it." The hard part over, Jennifer petted Beca's back. "It's in now. It's in. The rest is going to slide right in." "Too big..." Beca muttered. "Hurts..." "I know it does, but there's not much more now." Jennifer actually managed to resist the urge to stuff Beca's bowels with cock, waiting to give Beca a chance to get used to the thick prod in her ass. "It's not too big, Beca. The head's in, you have room for the rest. You just need to relax and let it happen. Let it happen, Beca... it's happening..." Every fucking thrust so far had ground Jennifer's pussy against the base of the dildo. Now, she found herself unable to go without that pressure any longer. She drove forward, jamming herself into Beca, hearing with some satisfaction the catch in Beca's breath as the strap-on inched up her ass. Beca's eyelids fluttered, shut tightly, leaving her alone with this strange pain and the stranger pleasure... gasping continuously in neither agony nor ecstasy as the intrusion entered secret places deep inside her, ending in the huge sigh that escaped her when she realized the dull warmth on her bottom was Jennifer's body pressed against her, the full length of the dildo buried between them. Chloe watched, her own pussy dripping. She wanted it over. She wanted it over so she could take Jennifer Morrison's dildo up her ass. She felt her ass pucker with the thought. "Fuck her! Fuck her hard!" Beca had enough presence of mind to be sarcastic. "Thanks for the support, Chlo." Jennifer had fucked enough ass to know when one had weakened enough for her to have her way. Now, she pounded into Beca with long, hard, churning strokes that Beca thought would tear her apart. "I'm in—I'm inside you—I'm fucking your ass, Becky." "Beca," she corrected. "Fuck you, I don't care. I'm Jennifer Morrison, bitch!" Pitch Perfect: Adventures with J-Mo Beca shook and pitched with each blow, the pain spiking and receding, spiking and receding, so fast that she felt like it might give her whiplash and Beca thought I'm getting fucked in the ass. Somehow, that knowledge brought on a weird enjoyment—enjoyment of the fact that a monstrous cock was filling her ass up completely. She tried unclenching herself further and discovered there was no pain in Jennifer Morrison's stiff dildo slicing in and out of her ass. She felt obscene, whorish, thrilling—she undulated her hips, throwing herself backwards, trying to fuck Jen as hard as she was fucking her. "Feels good," she panted, "I don't believe it...!" "Thatta girl," Jen hummed, watching Beca's ass roll in a lovely circle that hit an apex grinding the dildo back against her. "Fuck that cock in your ass, beautiful." "Goooood," Beca moaned again. Somehow, forcing that word out, admitting her enjoyment, had made it feel even better, made it even easier for her to take that oversized dildo in her ass. "I'm gonna come!" she whimpered in a small voice. Jen gave Beca's ass a celebratory smack. "Same here!" she cried, now thrusting into Beca's hole with all her strength. Beca felt herself clench once more, deep inside, trapping the heat of Jen's passage inside her, dousing it with kerosene so it burst into flame. Her mind unraveled. "Chloe! Chloe!" she howled, her girlfriend leaping to her rescue, stroking her hair and cheeks, wanting to know what was wrong, what she could do—"Suck my tits!" Chloe ripped open her shirt, giving her a quick kiss before dropping to suck fiercely at Beca's breasts, Beca squirming around, nearly ripping Chloe's hair out as she clung to her, forced her tits around and over Chloe's hot mouth. Beca was fucked between Chloe and Jennifer, a wicked tongue all over her burning breasts, a pistoning cock in her buzzing, sucking asshole. Her orgasm hit so hard, it shocked her senses like a quick jab to the nose. "How can it feel so good?" she gasped and moaned. "Fuck, this is better than sex!" "It is sex, d-bag." Jen rammed her dildo home, fucking it into Beca as hard as she could: one hand pulled on Beca's hair like reins, the other reached down to her own clit and rubbed at it like she was playing a lottery scratch-off. Jennifer Morrison went cross-eyed, looking at that tight little virgin ass stretched around the big cock embedded in it and coming her brains out. "My asshole feels so fucking nice!" Beca exclaimed, falling into Chloe's supporting embrace as her orgiastic delight rendered her nearly unconscious. Chloe looked down at her lover's face, a sleeping smile filling it as Jennifer Morrison pulled her dildo out of Beca. The more that came out, the wider Beca's smile got. Chloe looked nervously at the star of ABC's Once Upon A Time. "Is it my turn?" she asked, shaking a little; even she wasn't sure if it was fear or anticipation. "That depends," Jen replied. "Have you ever heard of ATM?" "That's... where you get money, right?" "It can be," Jen nodded, taking out her checkbook. *** "And that's how I lost my anal virginity to Jennifer Morrison," Beca concluded. Everyone was, obviously, taking the news in stride. "And then she just left?" Lilly asked politely, followed by Fat Amy roaring "And then she just left?" "Yes," Chloe confirmed. "She just left. What else would she do?" She checked her watch. "I have to go, my Afterellen interview is this evening and I don't want to be late." "You should get them to start paying you," Beca said. "Other people get paid to interview celebrities." "Queer representation is not a capitalistic—" Aubrey began. Beca held up her hand. "Alright, alright, have fun asking the straightest person alive about gay subtext. I'll stay here and answer everyone's questions about anal sex." Cynthia-Rose was first. "Do you have to shit extra afterwards, since you couldn't shit while you were having it?" Stacie shook her head knowingly. *** "Sorry if I kept you waiting," Chloe said forty minutes later, having checked her hair and make-up, then driven to the hotel where the interview had been scheduled with ample time for red lights and closed lanes. She'd actually made it with five minutes to spare. "That's alright. I enjoyed collecting my thoughts. Please, make yourself comfortable." "Thanks." Chloe set down her purse, quickly unpacking her recording equipment. "I hope you'll tell me if there's anything you don't want to discuss; obviously, this interview is oriented towards your queer fanbase, but that's no excuse to make you uncomfortable or, if there are things you'd rather keep quiet..." A manicured finger touched Chloe's lips. "Shh. Don't speak," Lana Parrilla said. "Jen's told me an awful lot about you..."