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Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 01

By: AchtungNight



Disclaimer: This story contains graphic sexual situations and adult themes and is therefore not suitable for those under age 18 or the close-minded. It may be illegal in some areas too. :( Please also note that it is not a true story, instead merely a fantasy. Real events may be referenced and real names, likenesses, and other personal details of celebrities and other real people may be part of the story- however they are used in a fictional manner styled to the author's liking that may be satirical at times. The author has never met any of the celebrities used herein, so he has no way of knowing if they really act the way they do in the story, and is confident that they probably don't. One hopes that these facts do not keep you, the reader, from enjoying the story.

Acknowledgements: Thanks as usual to all who have aided in the creation of this story, even those who have done so without knowing it. Thanks also to those who maintain sites for stories like this, and to all those who write them, read them, and otherwise keep them alive. Thanks especially goes out to those who have sent this author feedback. If after reading this story you desire to do the same, please email feedback to me at the address in my profile. All feedback, with the exception of flames and spam, will be answered and appreciated. I hope you like this story. If not, please tell me why you didn't so I may learn of my mistakes.

Copyright: This story is my creation. All other stories which are referenced or otherwise paid homage herein belong to their respective creators. This story may be posted anywhere on the Internet that is free to access and has my permission- please email me for such. The inclusion of this disclaimer and proper credit will be all that I ask.

Notes: This tale is the beginning of a series. It picks up shortly after the end of my previous Erika story "The Rendezvous." It is not necessary to read that story to get everything in this prequel/continuation, but if you want to, go ahead. :) Special thanks to those who gave me inspiration and editing help on this. One last quick comment- the spiritual aspects of this story are in there because of the themes and characters. They're not meant to offend anyone. I really hope they don't. Enjoy reading. -AN 

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Chapter 1: Opening Moves

Fall 2003. London, England.

The room's door opened and four beautiful girls walked out. All looked breathless and somewhat disheveled, even though their bodies showed evidence of recent showers. One was a tall elegant redhead dressed in a gown that matched her curls. The second was a tanned brunette in a green dress of similar cut. Then there was a young blonde in purple, her creamy skin shining in the hallway lights. Finally there came another lush young woman dressed in blue, her hair red-gold and falling about her shoulders. They smiled at each other as they headed through the hall, not saying much now. Many words and emotions had been exchanged between them throughout the day, but now such things were unnecessary. Their friendship had been cemented, and they were ready to go back to their ordinary lives.

If, Erika Christensen thought to herself as she brought up the rear, the lives of women such as us can ever be called ordinary.

The four were not everyday people. They were celebrities- young Hollywood actresses. Recently they had been cast in the same movie, which they would soon begin filming. All had gained much attention from fans and critics so far in their careers, and surely more was ahead. This is the life we signed up for, Erika thought. Ever since I was a child, I've known I wanted this life. It's been worth everything- all the committment, all the hard work, all the troubles that have come along. I've done great up to this point, and I'm going to keep on doing great. This is the life I was given, the life I've built, and I will live it.

"Erika, are you alright?" a voice asked her. She looked up and smiled at her old friend Alicia Witt. The redhead was frowning, looking down at her. Big things happened for you today, Lish, Erika thought. I'm not surprised you're still worried about them. Oh well, you seem more at peace now, and that's good enough for me as long as it remains.

"I was just thinking." Erika glanced back at the room they'd just left and sighed. "It was an amazing day today."

"Yeah," Evan Rachel Wood agreed. "I had a lot of fun. More's ahead- right, Keri?"

"Sure," Keri Russell said, running a hand through her brown locks. Of all the girls, she looked the most tuckered out. You've been through more today than any of us, Keri, Erika regarded her. We surprised you so much in the process of becoming your friends. Which reminds me...

"Keri, I owe you another apology."

"What?" Keri blinked. She stopped short and looked back at Erika, Alicia and Evan at her sides.

"I'm not really the crazy person you thought I was," Erika smirked. "I've been acting that way to have some fun with you. It's time to stop now. I'm sorry."

Keri stared at her. "Uh... you mean you're not..." She looked back at the room they'd just left, her voice catching in her throat.

"No, not that," Erika laughed. "The other thing. You know, the misconception you had about me?" She glanced at Evan. "Both of you. You assigned me a role, and I took it. I think I may have overplayed it a bit, though. What do you think?"

"You did just fine," Evan said.

Keri still looked confused. "You mean you're not really a Scien..."

"I am," Erika cut in. "I just follow the philosophy, though. I agree that the mythology's a little out there. Of course, when your religion's founder was a great science-fiction writer..."

"We get it," Keri said. "And we're sorry too. Right?" She looked at Evan, who nodded, a smile still on her lips.

"I helped her kid you a little," Alicia said. "I've seen her do it before. It's fun to play along." She sighed. "I guess I owe you both an apology too. I kept some things concealed. I wasn't expecting what happened between us. I wasn't even sure I wanted it." She looked back towards the room. "And now..."

"Enough," said Keri. "We've had enough apologies and debates today. We've ironed them all out several times over already. Let's just move on. Okay?"

"Okay," said Erika. She smiled at the other girls, then resumed walking. Her friends followed along. Phew, Erika thought. I was worried. We've had so many problems today, all over nothing. It took us forever to put them aside. Now that we're done, I'm glad we're friends. It better stay like that.

"So, Erika, how'd you meet Alicia anyway?" Evan asked as they rounded the corner. "I know you've known her for a while, and that what just happened between you never happened before, but how'd it start?"

"Thereby hangs a tale," Alicia replied.

***

Winter 2001. Los Angeles, CA.

"It's good to see you again, Erika."

"You as well, Tom. How's your family?"

"Just fine. And yours?"

"Great." Erika bit back a sigh. Tom Cruise was a longtime acquaintance of her family, and had given her a lot of good career advice. She liked the man, as an actor and a friend. They had become estranged recently, however, and Cruise was still not interested in resolution. Erika could see this in his expression and tone.

"We need to talk," the great actor said, taking Erika's arm and pulling her aside.

"The movie was good," Erika told him, frowning as she looked about for the press. She had just walked out of the Hollywood premiere of Vanilla Sky, a psychological thriller in which Cruise had starred. She had enjoyed it, even though the pace and imagery had overwhelmed her a bit. Hopefully I'll get the chance to be in a film like that myself one day, she'd thought. All my life I've watched great meaningful stories on screen, wanted to be in them. This film had such a story and nice performances by Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz. I wish I could have been part of it too. "I really liked it."

"Thank you," Cruise said, dropping her arm and glancing around. He nodded when he saw none of the crowd appeared to be paying them any attention, then turned back to Erika. "You're wasting your talent."

Erika threw up her hands. "We are not going to talk about this again."

"No, Erika, you know I'm right. You did great in Traffic, you really wowed them. And now you're going right back to wasting your time with small roles, TV shows, bad independent films..."

"I like these roles, Tom! They're important to me. And I'm going to get praised again. You'll see. I just auditioned for the next Fatal Attraction. Geena thinks she can get me into Susan Sarandon's next film. And then there's Home Room. Please tell me you've heard about Home Room."

"Yeah," Cruise grimaced. "I've heard about that one. You're playing a teenage shooting victim. You prepared for the role by going around talking to people in Columbine and Jonesboro, exposing yourself to Nazi science and views that aren't ours. Just like before, when you were on Nothing Sacred. Damn it, Erika, don't you know how dangerous..."

"It's not dangerous, Tom! It can help people if done the right way. It really can. If you'd just talk to some of the people I have, think about it..." She took a breath. "You'd really be amazed. Our way is great, yes, but it's not the only way to explain life, to get used to and find meaning in it. It doesn't work for everyone."

"That's another thing. Why won't you join me in promoting Scientology? You need to. People pay attention to you- young people."

"Tom, I don't find it necessary to go around grandstanding our philosophy to the public. My own life and career are hard enough to manage without adding the evangelism you're planning. People see things differently. We can't change that. Nor do we need to. We're all human, Tom. I think if I just live what I believe and let other people believe what they want, instead of insisting to everyone that my philosophy is the only truth and then getting cranky when they don't go along as I expect... well, it just seems more respectful."

"Respect." Cruise shook his head. "We gave you this life, Erika. You were raised in Scientology's proud tradition. You wouldn't be where you are now without our help."

"Don't think I'm not grateful," Erika said. "Believe me, I will endorse Scientology whenever the media asks me about it. I've been doing that. I believe in the philosophy. I follow it. I just don't think it's the only good way there is. The others are good too."

"We have a duty, Erika. We are artists, and we have this tradition. We must spread it above all else." Cruise glared down at her from his lifts. "You're either with us or against us."

Erika paused, looking back at him. "Then I am against you," she said after a blink and a shrug.

The two of them stared at each other, Cruise agape and Erika looking hesitant yet firm. Oddly, very few people around them had even noticed the exchange. One tall redheaded girl had, though, and she was smiling despite herself. "Tom," she spoke. 

Cruise turned, raising an eyebrow. "Um..."

"Hey," Alicia Witt smiled at her Vanilla Sky co-star. "Who's your friend?"

***

Fall 2003. London, England.

"Oh my gosh!" Keri stared at Erika agape. "You told off Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise?"

Erika nodded. "It just came out. I was a little surprised myself. But I had to say something."

Evan grinned. "Have you always been this rebellious? I heard you were a good girl."

"I am a good girl," Erika said. "I just like to go to extremes sometimes, explore what I can do. That's what life is about, not to mention acting. I've always tried to live that way, all my life." She smiled back at Evan.

"And that was how we met," said Alicia. "I liked Erika at once. I could tell she was someone really inspiring, right about a lot of things. The fact that the pompous egomaniac I'd just done a film with couldn't see it... it added flavor. Tom is a good actor and a good man, but he really needs to get over himself."

"Sounds like it," agreed Evan. "Who did he think he was, telling you all that stuff?"

"Tom and I have very different lives," Erika said. "His family wasn't loving. Mine is. When he got into acting he got into a lot of big films quickly, while I've had to work hard for every role I've had. I'm sure he has too, but it's just not the same. We're not the same sort of people. But because we share the same religion, people think we are." She sighed. "Tom and I warmed up to each other a few months after that premiere. He saw Home Room and liked it, and we agreed to disagree on the rest. He calms down and wises up when he needs to, I'll give him that. And he does rebel against the things that confine him- on screen at least."

"I'd like to work with him someday," said Keri. "Maybe if I read up on your religion so I could get to know him better..." She paused, biting her lip.

Alicia and Erika exchanged smirks. "Tom quickly calmed down and introduced us," Alicia said. "We got to talking about the film and our careers. One thing led to another, and now here we are. Erika and I have been close friends since then- as close as two people can be in Hollywood, anyway. You know how it is. Our careers keeping us apart, all our differences. I knew about her lifestyle as she developed it, but I never got directly involved. Not until now."

"Yeah," Erika laughed. "We just fixed that. About time, don't you think?" Alicia smiled wistfully, then nodded her head. Erika grinned at her. "So, we kept you in the dark most of today. We're sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," said Evan. "It was our fault as much as yours."

"Yeah," Keri agreed. They were silent for a moment as they approached the stairs at the end of the hall. A watchful doorman nodded and waved them on. Keri glanced at the clock above him worriedly. "Is the club still open?"

"Inside Out stays open 24/7," Alicia said. "You never know who will stop in, or when. It's part of the place's charm. I was walking around Soho a few weeks after I moved to town, and there it was. I was glad to find it. I know I won't be living here forever, but as long as I do, I'll keep coming back."

"I will too," Evan said, then frowned. "We will keep doing what we just did, right? You won't go crazy on us again?"

Alicia smiled, glancing at Erika. Again the two exchanged knowing looks. "I'll do my best. I've just been fighting my interest in this for the longest time. And now I finally don't want to, but..." She trailed off, shaking her head.

Erika beamed at her. "It's like anything else in life. You just need to see it the right way. You manage it properly, you learn to enjoy it, it rocks. You don't, then..." She shrugged as they walked back into the club's main room. Keri, Alicia, and Evan nodded, thinking over Erika's words. Erika shook her head and looked around them. Inside Out was still pretty crowded, even for the early morning. People of all kinds were moving about on the dance floor that looked like a city street or talking in small groups near the seeming outdoor cafe that served as the bar. The club's manager, still behind the counter, looked up from his customers and waved hello.

"I'll go settle our bill," Alicia told the others. She walked towards the bar, heels clicking. Evan nervously scanned the crowd.

"You worried about that jerk?" Keri asked her.

"Don't be," Erika said. "Clarke never forgets a face, and he'll tell the other staff. Once someone's out of here, they stay gone. I've seen people get tossed out before. Never because of something they did to me until now, but..."

"It's not him," Evan interrupted. "I'm looking for the other guy we met. Jamie. You didn't think I'd forget about him?"

Erika smiled, recalling the young man who Evan had connected with earlier in the night. "I'm sorry I came between you," she told Evan again. "We had a situation."

"Yeah," Evan nodded. "It's over now, though, and I want to see him again. You said you see him in here a lot. Are there regular times?"

"I don't really know him," Erika shrugged. "I saw the movie you mentioned, Billy Elliot, and I agree he's a good actor, but we've never spoken. I haven't even been here that long. I auditioned for our movie in LA, and then I flew here for the filming, and... well, you know the rest."

"Do you think he would be okay with me being into girls?" Evan asked. "I know I probably shouldn't be asking, neither of us know him, but I just have to know. I have to see him again. That bartender said I would."

Erika grinned. "Doug was just saying that to make you feel good. He might be right, though. We'll see."

Keri grimaced, watching the bartender as he talked with Alicia. "Do you know him well?"

"Some," Erika replied. "Alicia and I have chatted with Doug almost every night we've been here. He's a big fan of ours. He's not really from London or Hollywood, but he knows a lot about both places. He's a very interesting guy."

Keri raised an eyebrow at the look on her face. "Have you...?"

Erika shook her head. "I might someday, though. He is cute."

"What about Jamie?" Evan asked. "You said he was too young for you, but if I get to know him and..."

"You want a threesome, just let me know," Erika cut in, guessing her thoughts. "But you might not want to take things too quickly. The relationships in my life don't usually happen as fast as everything today did. I've learned to be careful when they do. I don't want to get hurt again."

Keri frowned. "What do you mean? You told us a little about your past relationships, and you sounded pleased with most of them."

"Not all," Erika said. "I haven't been into the lifestyle that long- I am only twenty-one- but I know how things can go if you aren't careful."

"Yeah, of course," Evan said. "If you get involved with the wrong person..." She sighed. "You must have lived through many interesting relationships, though. That Rosenbaum guy, Geena, what you did when you made Swimfan..."

"I exgaggerated that last one a little," Erika cut her off. "Just to get your attention. You seemed so desperate to get close to us."

Evan blushed. She glanced at Keri, who rolled her eyes at Erika, choking back a laugh. "Oh," Evan said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," replied Erika. "It worked out great. Really, Jesse and I just made out in that scene while John directed us. We didn't take things any farther than you saw in the movie. We did retake it a lot, though- we had to rehearse in private to get the emotions right. And when that happened..."

"You really did get with him?" Keri asked her. "You weren't lying to us about that?"

"Of course I got with him," Erika said. "Shiri and Jason too. It was my first relationship with multiple co-stars. I wonder how this one will compare." She sighed, turning to face Alicia as she walked back to them. "Were we in there too long? I didn't look at the time till we got out."

Alicia shrugged. "Doug said it was on the house. On account of it being their first time here." She nodded at Evan and Keri. "He also said he called a cab for us when he heard were headed down. They're waiting outside."

Erika flashed the bartender a smile of thanks. He nodded back, then returned to serving his customers. He thinks of everything, Erika said to herself. Such a great guy. If I could spend more time with him and get to know him... no, forget it, Erika. You have enough going on in your life right now as it is.

She turned back to her friends and waved at the club door. "Let's get going. I'm tired."

"Me too," Keri agreed with a sigh.

"Erika?" Evan said as they headed for the door. Erika gave her a questioning look. "Just how did you get into swinging? You told us a lot before, but now that you say you've been exgaggerating..."

Should have waited longer to do this, Erika thought. Damn it. "I didn't lie to you," she told Evan. "I just summarized, and left out things that weren't important to the moment. You have to understand- you're not born into this. It has to develop in you. The way it did in me might be typical for some, but..." She sighed. "It's been a long road, and it keeps going. It's worth it, though. I feel I'm where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing."


Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 01



"You ought to tell us more about it," Keri said. "I'm sure you have some great stories."

"She does," Alicia agreed. "I know some of them."

"Not all, though. Even I can't recall all the details." Erika sighed as they headed through the door. Clarke, the club's hulking black bouncer, nodded at them, then indicated a cab parked at the curb. Sun's almost here, Erika noted, looking at the gray sky. The crowd's gone away, except for a few people. God, I need some sleep. "It's like any set of memories. You recall an overview more than anything, except when it comes to the most important points. And even with those..."

"You should tell us more about what shaped you," said Evan. "For someone who's just starting out in this, who wants to get involved, it might help."

Erika frowned. "I thought your parents were..."

"They are," Evan said. "But they've never told me much about it other than the basic facts. They said I had to find my own way. I'm doing well so far, I think, but if I could find a teacher like you found Geena..."

Erika grinned, seeing what her new friend was getting at. Then she took a breath. "There's just so much that's happened, so much I've done. I have trouble keeping track of it sometimes. You have to follow the progression to fully understand it, and even then... It was all cool, though. I know that."

"We understand if you're not ready to talk," said Keri. "Just please do tell us sometime."

"I will," Erika promised, looking at the cab. She smiled in recognition at the driver as he opened the door for them. "Hey, Frank. Nice to see you again."

"You as well," Frank Martin replied. He then walked around the cab and got back behind the wheel. "Where can I take you?"

The actresses piled into the backseat, huddling close. Alicia slammed the cab door, then gave their destination. They looked at each other again as the driver headed off, giving each other pleased expressions and trying to hide their fatigue. It's been a long night, Erika thought. It's good that we're spending the rest of it and today together. We'll have to be careful again starting tomorrow, though. Our director can't know about this. Dane's also coming in tonight, and if he finds out... no, he can keep a secret, Erika. You know that. Don't worry. Your little brother may be a dweeb sometimes, but he's a good guy. You shouldn't tell him about this, but if he finds out- and he might, since you're all in the same movie- just play it safe. It'll be alright. He already knows a few things about your relationships anyway.

Not everything, though, Erika added to herself. I've never told anyone everything. There's still so much I don't fully understand, even though I've lived through it. So much has shocked me, swept over me so fast and hard. I'm not sure I could put it into words, not the way Evan wants me to. I could try, but it wouldn't be easy. Not that anything ever really is.

To make any sense of it all, I would need to go back three years. Back to the night it all started...

***

Winter 2000. Los Angeles, CA.

"I want to have sex," the young man on the movie screen said, "and then do a hit as we're both cumming."

The young girl facing him shrugged. "Okay." She reached out and took the offered pipe. Among the audience watching the film, a girl who was and was not the girl on screen clenched her teeth as she looked on.

Stop, Erika Christensen reminded herself. You know how this plays out. You read the script so many times, and you acted it too. You just got through playing Caroline's part a month ago. You know she gets what she deserves, and that jerk up there with her does too. You shouldn't be so worried.

But I am, she told herself, looking down at her body and then up at Caroline's as her character shared a smoke with the young man and then fell back on the bed, the screen going dark blue as he moved in. They kissed and shook a bit, then it faded out. 

We never really touched each other, Erika reminded herself. It seems graphic, but it's not. None of it's real. It was all just acting. I never felt anything for Topher- I've never liked people who insist on going by weird names and he's too full of himself for someone so young in the business. Caroline of course didn't feel anything for his character either. She only wanted the drugs. Nothing else was in her mind. I feel such pity towards her, such anger. I want to reach out to her, yell at her to stop what she's doing, to... I guess I really acted her part well.

She looked at her parents, who were sitting beside her at the test screening. Both looked even more surprised than she was by her performance. Her father's hands were tight on the arms of his seat, his face trying to keep emotion locked in. He looks just like Michael Douglas will a few scenes later, Erika thought. And Mom's worse. She's been dabbing at her eyes every time I've come on, just as she is now. I wanted people to feel this way, but... Stop it, Erika. You did great. You put yourself aside and lived the role, just as you always knew you could. You defied so many people's expectations of you when you played Caroline. Your parents didn't want you to do it, but you knew you had to. You convinced them, Steven Soderbergh helped. This film is going to be so important, it has such social value, it's going to win so many awards, do so well. It's....

She shook her head and looked over towards the film's director. Steven Soderbergh was sitting a few rows away, wearing a proud contented look. That's how I should be feeling, Erika thought. I worked as hard on this film as he did, we all did, and now it's done. I hope it's going to win awards, even though I never expect them. It was so tough stepping into Caroline's part, forgetting about who I was and playing the roles of the addicts I met and talked to about this. I did a truly daring thing for the first time with this role- yes, I've acted a lot and even flirted with crime on screen a bit, but never like this. I've never gone to these extremes before. These are my first lovescenes too- and I did them at such a young age. I did so much in this role I've never done. I did drugs, even though I've never touched a cigarette. I had sex, when in real life I've only kissed guys so far. I needed my parents' consent for the role- if I had been able to wait just a few months, I wouldn't have had to get it, but this script came when it did. We argued so much over it, I was so glad when they finally agreed to let me do it, but now I just feel... nothing.

No, she snapped at herself, you do feel something. You sympathize with Caroline, you were her. You put it all across- every emotion you got to know from the people talked to about the role- and now it's done. Look at yourself. You did great!

Then why do I feel this way? Erika thought. Why do I feel so lost?

It's Caroline's attraction, she answered herself, still thinking about her character even though it was no longer on screen. You can't help but feel drawn to her, even though she's making so many mistakes. That's what your parents are worried about, what everyone's worried about when it comes to drugs. You know better than to get involved with them for real- they know that. You handled the part of an addict well and might do it again someday, but you'll keep it confined to screen. Still, though... I almost want Caroline's crutches. I almost want to do what she's doing to get over the bad things in my life. The disappointment, the angst, the fear. I can't, I know I shouldn't, I saw so much pain in the addicts I talked to about this role, but still...

She pushed her thoughts away and smiled as Benicio del Toro's character came on. Such a great actor, Erika thought, and a handsome man. Too bad we never shared the stage together. I got to talk to him a lot during production, though. We became friends. Maybe now that I'm eighteen, and I've moved out on my own, we could... Stop it, Erika. He's fifteen years older than you. Benicio's also not interested in you, he never showed you a hint that he was. Still... she looked around for Benicio, but couldn't find him in the dark theater. Stop it, she ordered herself. Just calm down and watch the movie.

Taking her own command, she settled back in her seat, trying to smile as the film went on. It was hard, though. Caroline's done so much I haven't done, Erika thought. She was able to, where I haven't been. I'm not her, I don't want to be her, but... Again she looked at her parents, reminding herself they'd stood by her all throughout the filming, just as they had through her career so far and would continue to. Even if she someday made them feel worse than they did now. She looked past them to her brothers Nick, Brando, and Dane. All were riveted in their seats, a mixture of pride and fear on their faces. These are my family, Erika thought. I love them, and they love me. Because of them, I will never become like Caroline, never fall into her trap. I'm glad I have them, and that they let me show others what can happen if you don't. I can't be Caroline, I'm so disappointed in her, our lives are so different, but...

I know what I have to do now, Erika told herself. This role's shown me things I've been struggling with all my life. I won't seek the shelter Caroline does from such things- I can't- but I will get what I want from life. I must. I've already begun planning it. And soon...

She smiled at her family. Thank you, she thought towards them. Thank you for bringing me to this moment. I'm glad we've come this far, that you've helped me so much. I'm also glad I won't need your permission to do what I have to next.

***

"I want to have sex."

"What?"

"I want to have sex," Erika repeated, smiling at the young darkhaired man sitting next to her on the couch. Mark Matthews was from her neighborhood. She'd known him growing up and they'd always been friends even though she'd been home-schooled while he'd attended St. Anthony's. They often spent time with each other, and had gone out together several times in the past few years. It wasn't hard making this decison, Erika grinned as she thought back. Mark's cute, smart, and nice, and I know he likes me. He's well-read, just like I am. I know he'll know what to do here. We've come close to it before, and we're ready. I planned this whole thing out, came over to his house on a rainy Saturday night when his parents were out of town after I cleared my schedule. I've been eighteen almost three months now, and he just turned eighteen two days ago. This is his present, and mine too. I know I want it. I must have it.

"Why?" Mark asked, pushing up his thin glasses as he looked at her and frowned. "I've never put pressure on you, you know that. There's so much else in our lives, and we don't need to..."

"I had sex onscreen," Erika cut him off. She'd already thought this through in her mind. He could not protest now. "It was fake, and done for the wrong reasons. I didn't like it."

Mark stared at her. "And you think if you have real sex," he said after a moment, "and it's good, it will make that go away?"

"No," she shook her head. "It will lessen it a bit, though, and that's what I want. You have to understand, Mark. All my life I've been told to stay true to myself, flow and live. I want to do that, but the way my life has gone..." She searched for a metaphor to illustrate her thoughts to him. "You know that poem you wrote the essay on last year? The one you read to me? 'Things fall apart, the center cannot hold?' That's me right now." She sighed. "My world is crashing in on me, changing, and it's about to get worse. I've just moved out on my own, just had my first big movie. People are going to be looking at me soon, in a way they never have before. I have to look at myself in a new way too. I have to manage my life by myself now. My life, my career, and this."

"I thought we were going to break up," Mark said. "We haven't seen each other in so long- you got out of school early to act full-time, and then you went away to film Traffic. We split. And now you've come back, and you want to..."

"Yes," Erika replied. "Traffic was great. The test screening was Thursday, it went well. I did good, but now that it's over, I just feel so..." She gasped and shook her head, at last letting all she felt from being Caroline wash over her. She collapsed into Mark, sobbing against his chest.

"It's okay," Mark consoled her, patting her shoulder. He leaned down and sniffed her hair, biting his lip. "I've heard about the film, Erika. You let me read part of the script. I haven't seen it yet, I won't till it's out, but I can guess what you're feeling. I read Go Ask Alice. I know what addiction's like, how living it can make you feel."

Good, Erika thought, it's working. She ran her hand over Mark's chest, looking up at him. "You know how I've told you I want to be a great actress?"

"You are a great actress."

She smiled. "Thanks. I know I can be. It's just that I've done so much on screen I haven't for real and..."

"Erika, stop it. You're not going to take drugs. You can't! It's..."

"I know that, Mark!" Erika interrupted him again. "But the other thing Caroline did that I haven't- I need to have that. I'm ready for it. I'm free now. Please."

He looked her up and down, then sighed. "Erika, I don't know about this. You're out of school, I'm not. This is my senior year. If the wrong thing happens to me..."

"I have protection. A friend at Narconon gave me the pill."

Mark looked relieved, then shook his head. "That's good, but... we can't."

"Why not?" Erika pulled back from him, keeping her hands on his shoulders and looking into his blue eyes with hers. "We're both old enough. We both want this. What's your problem?"

Her boyfriend stared at her, his lips tight. After a few seconds he spoke. "It's my first time, too. I know you told me when you went away to film Traffic that I could see other people, and I have, but I've never gotten close to any of them. It's always been you, Erika. And now..."

Erika put a finger to his lips. "I get it, Mark," she said. She had anticipated this too, been hoping for it. "Don't worry, we'll do fine. I've read up on this, so have you. We've both fantasized about it."

"But we've never done it." He gaped at her. "Never even gotten close. How far do you want to take this? Do you want to get married? Or..."

"No, Mark," Erika said. "We're too young, we have too much other stuff going on in our lives. I know you might want to, and we could, but..."

"It's okay," Mark said, clasping her arm. He looked her over again, then nodded. "Whatever you want. It's just... are you sure about this? Are you really sure?"

"Yes," Erika answered. Why do you always have to overthink everything? she added silently. Why can't you just take opportunities as they come? I'm giving you one right now! Take it! "Please, Mark. Touch me."

He opened his mouth to say something else, but she leaned in and stopped him with a kiss. She took hold of his shoulder in the same motion and squeezed it, adding insistence. This is just like my lovescenes, Erika thought. The right words and motions lead to the right reaction in the audience, the proper results. Except this time it will be good. It will be real. I will not be empty or afraid. I will be satisfied.

She broadcast all this to Mark with her eyes as she pulled back, hoping he would drop his reluctance. If you don't, too bad, Erika told herself. It will be your loss. I've been patient up until now, put all thoughts of this aside or left them to fantasy. I can keep doing that if I must, but I don't want to. Not any more. Please, Mark, please... Her thoughts vanished as he smiled, then pulled her close and kissed her back.

The touch was brief, but full of all the emotion that had always been between them. Mark's lips met hers, Erika felt his touch, then they moved apart. "You..." he began. She nodded and kissed him again, pushing him down into the couch with the motions of her body. She ran her fingers over his chest, squeezing at the pressure points she found. They had made out a few times before, and she used what she remembered. But we never went farther, Erika thought. I was always afraid, and so were you. No more. She smiled and shook against Mark as his arms encircled her, kissing him again as he rubbed her back. Their mouths came open and they breathed into each other. Erika then extended her tongue, licked across his teeth. She pulled away from him and smiled, taking off his glasses and putting them on the table beside the couch.

Mark looked her over intently, trying to imprint her in his mind. You still have a problem with this even though it's happening, Erika thought, recalling what Soderbergh had told her about lovescenes. But you must put that aside for the emotions of the moment. The moment is good. It is what you want. Live it. Assume the role. Find some way to ease into it. Immerse yourself. Then, when you're relaxed, you'll know what you need to do next.

I know, Erika thought, leaning down again. She kissed Mark once more, pressing her palms into his chest. Your fantasy is happening! she told him with her actions. You're about to fuck a girl, at long last. And she's a girl you've known all your life, who you like, who likes you. Not to mention a hot blonde with a nice figure who's a movie star. Is this not what you want?

Mark's hands grabbed her shoulders and pushed her up and off him. Damn it, no! Erika silently wailed. Then, as she opened her mouth to voice protest, Mark grabbed her shirt and started to pull it off. She smiled in relief, raising her arms and helping him. He gasped as he looked at her breasts, already flushed from anticipation. Her pink nipples were hard, pointing at him. "You didn't wear..."

"No," Erika shook her head. "It would have gotten in the way." She grinned and took hold of his shirt, smiling at him. Mark eased up on the couch and raised his arms, nodding. She moved back on him slightly and then pushed the garment up and over his head, throwing it aside. She smiled again at the sight of his chest. Mark was a good swimmer, like her. They had worked out together many times. So often they had smiled at each other after doing so, then hugged and kissed, and Erika had wanted to take things further. But I didn't. We have different lives, I wanted to keep us just friends, we're young. But now I can change things, and I will. We will. She ran her hands over his bare muscles and kissed his lips. Again her tongue came out and touched his teeth. This time his rose up and met it. She licked across it, breathing into him with her mouth.

His fingers moved on her as she did so, rubbing around her back towards her breasts. You've wanted to touch them so many times, Mark, Erika thought as they kissed. I know you have. Now you can. Do it. He did, and she smiled. Yes. She knew the sensation of fingers on her breasts, she always played with them when masturbating, but his touch was different from her own. He pulled hard, fumbling a little. Erika gritted her teeth, then gasped as he moved on, finding the right spots. Good, she thought. You learn fast. So do I. Let me show you.

She stopped kissing his lips and moved down, pecked him across his chin and throat. She also moved her hands down along his body, probing his chest and stomach. He smiled at her, silent now, still rubbing her breasts. "Keep that up," Erika said, laughing at him. I feel so good, she thought, moving down and grabbing his belt. She placed her palm against his crotch and felt his hard organ. She had seen its shape before, and felt it against her, but never put a hand to it. Now she would. She caressed it up and down through his jeans, regarding the apparent length and girth. Good, she thought. I can handle this. It's not too much for me. In some of the sex I've read about the man has a really big prick. I thought about that, and I might like it, but not for my first time. I need to ease into this. I'm still not completely sure what to do.




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 01



I do know you'll like this, though, she thought. With that, she grabbed his cock through his pants and squeezed it, putting a predator's smile on her lips. Mark pulled hard on her nipples as she did so, his fingers pressing into her flesh. Yes, Erika beamed at him, that's it. You remember the poem I quoted, the one we talked about? You called the beast in there terrible and mysterious in your essay, you hated it but at the same time you welcomed it. Its presence would resolve all the chaos in the world, the conflict would be gone. And now here it is, slouching forward, waking from stony sleep, and you can see it, touch it. For so long, you've had doubts about sex, and so have I. We've heard about it in school, read about it in books, but every time we've gotten close to having it we've found ourselves lacking all conviction. Now that's over. Now is the time for passionate intensity. The hour has come round, at last! She squeezed his organ again with her palm, blazing her thoughts to him with her eyes, then moved her hands to his waist.

"Please," Mark implored her, smiling. His eyes were wide, his lips bemused. Okay, Erika nodded, unfastening his belt. She moved quickly, knowing his emotion was barely contained. Hers was sparking too, growing inside her. It was magnificient, filling her body and soul. She concentrated on another poem that described it, trying to embrace it yet keep it at bay. Tyger, Tyger, she thought, burning bright. In the forests of the night... Mark squeezed her nipples as she began to pull down his pants, and she let out a scream.

He stopped, staring at her. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay," she said, leaning down and kissing him. Then she pulled herself back up, tugged his pants over his hips. He nodded and kicked his shoes off, moved his fingers back onto her aureolae and pushed against them. He was gentler now, slower. Good, Erika thought, that's better. Remember what this is. This is our first time. We're going to learn so many things we've never done before. Yes, this moment has been full of dread terrors for us, things we could not clasp, but we've still longed for it, wanted it. I have, and so have you. Then I performed it, and it was bad. I knew I had to make it good. With you, I will. I will make it good- for both of us.

Keeping those thoughts in mind, she pulled down his jeans. He helped her, kicking off them and his shoes. Erika regarded the hard organ thrusting up through his underwear, its head peeking slightly out the side. There it is, she thought. There's the fearful symmetry I have envisioned, that now I dare to touch. She reached out and pushed her fingers against it, smiling as it twitched. It's alive! She grabbed his underwear and pulled it down.

His cock sprang out, its every aspect like her dreams. Hard and flushed, warm like her skin. She flicked her fingers against it, moving them back and forth rapidly. The organ felt odd in her hand, yet good. Large, warm, and growing more so. Cocks are like clits, she thought, recalling what she'd read, only a bit bigger. Rub them the right way, you get the right reactions. Testing her theory, she moved her hand up and down on his length, keeping her other hand on his thigh and pressing hard. His hands slowed as she did so, still rubbing her breasts but not as fast. He's getting overwhelmed, Erika thought. Slow down. Distract him.

She moved her thumb and forefinger against his organ's head, squeezing it between them and into her palm. Then she dropped her hands from him and stood up. Mark frowned, then smiled as she unbuttoned her pants and pushed them down, stepping out of her sneakers in the same motion. She had not worn panties today either, and her pussy was smiling, open, and red. Mark looked at it, regarding her fertile triangle of blonde hair and engorged lips. Erika felt her heart beat faster, echoing in her mind. An ache was rising inside her, wet and rough. Soon, she told it, holding it back. She kicked off her pants and sat back down on the couch. She then turned and returned her attention to Mark, grasping his organ again and holding it in her palm. She stroked its length, keeping her eyes on him. Then she moaned as he resumed touching her breasts. She wrapped her whole hand around his cock and cradled it, pumping gently. He did the same with her nipples, causing her to gasp.

His organ leapt in her hand, pulsating. She tickled it with her fingers, moving along the length. She flashed fire at him with her eyes, then pulled back, letting his hands drop off her breasts. Mark frowned again, but Erika stopped his doubt once more with a finger on his lips. "Trust me," she said, then grabbed his cock hard in a fist. She moved down and kissed its head, licked across it. The taste was odd, but she liked it. I wanted this too, she thought. And I want to make sure I get it. Ignoring the ache in her for the moment, and his unmoving hands, she began. She licked at him with feathery touches, holding his shaft in one hand and with the other cupping his balls. She breathed into him, letting him vibrate against her tongue. Come on, she thought. I've fantasized about this, I need to know what it's like. I need it to be good for me.

Suddenly he shook, and it was. A strange fluid came spurting out of his organ, staining her throat. Erika frowned, then smiled, taking in the taste and smell of it. I like this, she appraised. I was so worried I wouldn't, but I do. Good. She swallowed the fluid down, holding Mark's organ tight as it kept shaking. She kissed it one last time, then pulled back, dropped her hands, and smiled. He smiled too, looking up at her in awe. You liked that, Erika thought. Good. But we're not through yet.

She moved her body up against his, rubbing herself over him. Her nipples flicked against his muscles, her hot groin pressing into his thigh. The ache in there was throbbing, and Erika did not need to touch herself to know her juice was starting to flood. Okay, Erika thought, it's time. I'm ready for this. My period's not for at least three weeks, and I took the pill just in case. I know I want this, and I want it from you. It's time to have it now, time to... She stopped, placing her groin against his and realizing his organ was limp.

"Sorry," Mark said, frowning at her. He clasped his shoulders and sighed. "I'm so sorry. I..."

"No," Erika told him, shaking her head. "It's okay." You've read about this, she thought. You knew it could happen. You prepared for this moment just as you do for all your roles. You know what you have to do to make it right.

She moved up and down on him, kissing his lips and running her fingers across his chest. She let her thighs and cunt rub against his cock, coaxing him back to full hardness with her motions. "You can't," Mark said. "I've tried. I've tried so many times. It's not possible."

"Nothing's impossible," Erika snapped, kissing him and moving her body. "Come on," she urged him. "You know what I want. Give it to me. Don't stop, Mark. Not now. We've come this far, so come on. Let's go further." She backed her words with motions, hoping against hope.

Mark gritted his teeth and moved his hands across her back, pulling her into him and rubbing wherever he could. He tangled his fingers in her hair, sniffing at the blonde curls and tugging on them. He caressed her back, her waist, her rear, then down across the tops of her thighs. Good, Erika thought, pulling him up and wrapping her legs around him. She squeezed his shoulders with her hands, smiled as his hands came up and clasped her breasts again. Come on, she thought, rubbing her body over his. I don't have what I want yet. Give it to me. I need it. I ache for it. I...

She smiled, feeling his organ leaping back up. Yes! You're absorbing my radiance, my attention. You're going back to how I want you. Now it's time for you to return my favor. Come on, come on. She pushed him back into the couch cushions, tingling hard against him. Then she lined up her opening with his shaft, clenched her teeth, and pressed down.

Pain overwhelmed her instantly. I knew this was coming, she thought. I prepared for it. I remember what to do. She reached up and grabbed her ear, twisted it to the side, and pulled it on hard. She closed her eyes and took in the sensation, trying to control it. She thrust her other palm against his chest, finding his heartbeat and concentrating on its rhythm and her own. Again she recalled everything she'd read about this act, in romance novels and other literature. This is good, she remembered. I want this. It hurts me, but I like it. Pleasure comes with the pain. Pleasure. His organ is an intruder in me, but it is welcome, as welcome as my fingers have been before. I want it, I... She smiled, feeling rapture echoing forth in her. Her body was shaking, and she moaned. "Yes. Yes! Oh yes! Thank you! Ahh!!" She erupted, screaming her joy.

"Erika!" Mark shouted, and she opened her eyes. "You're..." She looked down at their joined bodies, the fluid flowing out of her, and clenched her lips. Shit. The blood-dimmed tide is loosed...

"It's okay," she said. "I know how to clean it up. We'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I have to be." She punctuated her words by moving up and down on him, longing to come again as she had before and make him do likewise. We've each felt it once, she thought, and we can do it again. I know we can. I can do whatever you want, be whatever you desire. And you can be the same for me. I knew this could be good, and you helped me. You made it good for me. Thank you. Thank you so much.

***

Fall 2003. London, England.

"Erika?" a voice drew her back to the present. "What are you thinking about?"

"Just stuff," she shrugged, turning and looking at Evan. "Nothing much." She looked out the cab window and sighed, realizing how much her thoughts had distracted her. They had traveled all the way from Inside Out to the hotel while she reminisced, and she had not spoken to Keri, Evan, or Alicia. She had said so much to them today, they had gotten to be such good friends, they were sitting so close together in the cab, and now in the silence... is it over?

"You were thinking about what we did, right?" Alicia asked. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry we didn't do that earlier. But it had to happen as it did. You know that, right?"

"Yes," Erika nodded, smiling back at her friend as she thought over all their times together. "Thank you. And you, Keri." 

Keri said nothing, only smirked. Erika looked at her, then at Evan, and beamed back at each girl. Then she frowned, recalling their surroundings and the secret nature of their relationship. She looked towards the cabdriver, who wore an indiscernible expression. Frank's eyes blinked for a moment as he looked back at them in the rearview mirror. Then he shook his head and coughed. "We're here."

"Thanks, Frank," Alicia said, handing him a roll of pound notes. "See you later." She opened the cab door and stepped out.

The other girls followed her, Erika bringing up the rear just as before. Her memories echoed again in her mind, past and present. This new relationship we've started will be good, she told herself. Not like my first one. That didn't last long after the first time we had sex, and I hated that. Mark wanted me, again, but he didn't want to give me everything I wanted. He also couldn't. I learned that the hard way. Our lives split us apart again, as they had before. He kept on with school, and I went back to my acting career. Our relationship lasted barely another six weeks before he met another girl and found he liked her better than me because she was more approachable, more part of his world. When we broke up, he thanked me, told me I had given him the confidence to get near her and talk to her. They got married shortly after graduation- by then I had moved on. They're still together, as far as I know, or maybe not, but I don't care. I just know I'm happy, and that's what's important. Mark can live his own life.

Damn, she clenched her teeth at the thought. Why did I just think that? How can I be so cold? Maybe it's because, again, I have to be. What happened between us happened. It can't be changed. I can try to rationalize it all I want, but I won't change the facts. It went bad. It was good for a while, though. My first time wasn't the last time Mark satisfied me. It's not my fault he had other desires. I did too. I brought them forth in my mind, worked them out, just as I've always done. The person I am now is the result. And I am going to be her. I am going to live my life, and enjoy it.

I am Erika, she told herself, walking forward and stepping between her friends. Officially Erika. She took Alicia's hand in her left hand, Evan's in her right. Evan reached out and took Keri's hand too. They smiled at each other and entered the hotel.

***

End of Chapter 1.

Afterword: The poems Erika quoted are from WB Yeats and William Blake, if you're wondering. Hope you liked this story. It's only the beginning. Things are going to get hotter. I have a long series planned, with many celebrities involved and much fun and development for our heroine. Feedback and suggestions will be appreciated. Later. – AN 



Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 02



Chapter 2: Riding the Bull

Celebs: Erika Christensen, Benicio del Toro.

Disclaimer: This story contains graphic sexual situations and adult themes and is therefore not suitable for those under age 18 or the close-minded. It may be illegal in some areas too. :( Please also note that it is not a true story, instead merely a fantasy. Real events may be referenced and real names, likenesses, and other personal details of celebrities and other real people may be part of the story- however they are used in a fictional manner styled to the author's liking that may be satirical at times. The author has never met any of the celebrities used herein, so he has no way of knowing if they really act the way they do in the story, and is confident that they probably don't. One hopes that these facts do not keep you, the reader, from enjoying the story.

Acknowledgements: Thanks as usual to all who have aided in the creation of this story, even those who have done so without knowing it. Thanks also to those who maintain sites for stories like this, and to all those who write them, read them, and otherwise keep them alive. Thanks especially goes out to those who have sent this author feedback. If after reading this story you desire to do the same, please email feedback to me at the address in my profile. All feedback, with the exception of flames and spam, will be answered and appreciated. I hope you like this story. If not, please tell me why you didn't so I may learn of my mistakes.

Copyright: This story is my creation. All other stories which are referenced or otherwise paid homage herein belong to their respective creators. This story may be posted anywhere on the Internet that is free to access and has my permission- please email me for such. The inclusion of this disclaimer and proper credit will be all that I ask.

Notes: This tale is the direct sequel to Chapter 1 of the series, and another step on Erika's journey through life. Hope you enjoy it. Special thanks to Kendo1 for editing help. -AN

***********************************

The Passion of Erika Christensen

Chapter 2: Riding the Bull

October 2003. London, England.

"Your move."

Erika Christensen frowned, looking at her friend Alicia Witt. The two of them were different, physically and in personality. Alicia had short crimson hair, whereas Erika's was longer and reddish-blonde. Alicia was tall and slim, Erika was lush and of medium height. Alicia seemed smarter to most, while Erika had wisdom. Despite these differences, the girls were both actresses, and had enough interests in common to be close friends.

"Come on, move."

Erika blinked her blue eyes, looking into Alicia's brown ones and then down at the chessboard on the table between them. One of Alicia's knights was a few squares closer to her king now, and not many pieces were left to defend the royal personage. They had been playing for almost an hour, and as usual Alicia was winning. She's better at this game than me, Erika thought. She can think several moves ahead, whereas I've always had trouble with that. They say chess is like life, that similar strategies apply. That's somewhat true. It surely frustrates me just as much as everything else does.

"Your turn, Erika."

She shook her head and looked around them, trying to find some hint as to what she should do next. Inside Out, their favorite London club, wasn't too crowded at the moment. It was only early evening, and though all kinds of people were on the paved dance floor and around the bar that resembled an outdoor cafe, the amount of activity was low. Well, at least everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, Erika thought. That's good. The place will get busy later. At least it better, or this day off from filming our movie is gonna stay boring as hell.

"Hey! Erika!"

She turned back to Alicia, then frowned as she realized her opponent had not spoken. The redhead pointed to the right, and Erika turned again to see another young actress standing there. Evan Rachel Wood's creamy face was flushed with joy, her pale blonde hair shining in the room's flourescent lights. Like Erika and Alicia, she was dressed in casual clothes.

Evan's been out roaming the dance floor and enjoying herself, Erika recalled. Our other friend Keri's also off enjoying herself tonight. She's with that guy of hers who came to visit. I chatted with Tony a little earlier today, he's a nice and handsome man. I'd love to get with him. He seems pretty exclusive to Keri, but I'm sure that's not really the case considering what kind of person she is. Once they've had enough alone time, I should be easily able to get something set up with them before he goes back to New York.

"Hey, Evan," she said, trying to concentrate on the present. "What's going on?"

"I met him again!" Evan beamed. "Jamie Bell! He was just here!"

"Well, where is he?" Alicia asked, looking around. "You didn't bring him back here to introduce us?" 

Erika nodded in agreement, thinking of the young British actor with whom their friend had recently become infatuated. She smiled, out of happiness for Evan and little else. 

The young girl shook her head. "He just dropped in for a drink before going off to a rehearsal. I talked to him, though, and I got his number. He's free tomorrow night, so we're going out."

"That's great, Evan!" Erika said. She knew Evan had been hoping to meet her crush again for a number of weeks now, and been disappointed every time they came back into Inside Out and found him not there. But, just as they'd all hoped, things now seemed to have been corrected. "What do you have planned?"

Evan shrugged, sitting down in the third chair at the table. "He said he'd take me to see a play, then maybe we'd have dinner. You know, the typical date stuff. Then, well, I was thinking after that..." She trailed off and grinned.

Alicia frowned, looking at Erika. Oh no, Erika thought, guessing what was going on. Their young friend had a small problem with overenthusiasm, and on top of that, Evan had not had much experience with guys despite a lot of time on the dating and Hollywood scene. She's thinking too fast again, Erika thought. Damn it, we've been trying to break her of that habit. Alicia and I have been with a lot of guys, and we know what can happen if you mess up the pace of a relationship. Evan doesn't seem to, even though she should. We better talk some sense into her. Wish Keri were here to help.

She quickly moved her bishop, just to get the chess game off her mind, then turned back to Evan. "Um, Evan, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" The look she gave the young girl left no doubt as to what Erika meant.

"Yeah!" Evan said. "Why not? I like Jamie, and I know he likes me. I've been waiting so long to get with a guy, and now I've met one who's cute and funny and..."

"Evan, whoa!" Alicia cut her off. "I understand how you feel. When I first thought I was ready to lose my virginity, I was a bit like that too. Of course, I was thirteen at the time and you're older, so..."

"I'm more than old enough, Alicia. So's he. Don't worry, we'll be fine. We're going to have such fun with this."

"Evan," Erika snapped, and the other actress turned to face her. "Alicia's right. Going all the way on the first date is a bad idea."

"What do you mean?" Evan frowned. "I like this guy!"

"You've only met him twice," Alicia gently reminded her.

"But I've seen all his movies! He's great! And he likes me." She sighed. "And I know I really shouldn't point this out, but I got with both of you and Keri on the first day we met, and it's been fine so far. What's the problem?"

Erika grimaced at Alicia, who shook her head. I should have seen this coming, Erika thought. We moved too fast, and now Evan's thinking she's on a lucky streak or something. It doesn't help that the character she's playing in our film is really frustrating her. Damn it, how do I talk her out of this stupid idea?

"Evan," Alicia said, "are you sure he's ready?"

"I think so. I flirted with him a little, and he seems interested in me. I haven't told him straight out what I want, not yet, but... I know I'm ready. I've been ready!"

"Are you certain of that?"

"Oh yeah. My cherry's gone, there won't be that much pain. He's real nice, I know he won't hurt me. I'm sure Doug will give us protection and the proper venue." Evan flashed a grin towards the club manager, who was looking a bit flabbergasted as he regarded them from behind the nearby bar. 

Listening in on us as usual, I see, Erika thought, rolling her eyes slightly at the well-dressed brownhaired man. Oh well, I shouldn't be offended. Doug's the warm respectful type of celebrity fan, not the seriously obsessed dangerous type. I played that latter type of fan in a movie once, I can tell the difference. It's not surprising that Evan thinks he can help her get with Jamie. His club is a haven for swingers like us- he got into the lifestyle while he was in college back in the States- and Doug's a friend of ours too. But even his good nature has its limits.

She gave him a look that said "I'll take care of this, don't worry," then turned back to Evan. "Evan, calm down. Think about what you're saying here. Back when you were on Once & Again, didn't they do an episode or two about this?"

Evan grimaced. "Yeah, for people who aren't as smart about it as we're going to be. What's the problem? It's just sex!"

"Listen to yourself," Alicia said. "You're forgetting all the failed relationships you've had that you've complained to us about. Not to mention the ones we've had about which we've told you."

"But those weren't like this! This will go right. It has to."

Alicia started to reply, but Erika waved the redhead to silence. She'd been composing her thoughts, and had an idea. "Evan, sex is never 'just sex.' You can't treat it that way. If you do, you're making a mistake."

"You're right," Evan said, calming a little. She waved her hand. "This won't just be sex. It will be something special. I'm finally getting with a guy, and it's Jamie, and..."

"Stop," Erika said. She reached out and took Evan's hand. "Look, I know how you feel, okay? I've been that eager sometimes myself. I always have to tell myself to wait, take it slow. It's better that way."

"Yeah, everyone says that, but..."

"Trust me," Erika said. Alicia looked about to add something, and again Erika stopped her old friend with a wave. "Look, a while back you wanted to know how I got into swinging. I didn't tell you then, but I think I should now. Will you listen?"

"Sure," Evan grinned, huddling closer. She smiled at the two of them. "What happened?"

"I'd like to hear this too," Alicia said. "When I met you, you were already pretty into it. You bar-hopped as much as I did, even though you don't drink, and you took home nearly as many guys. I was a little confused about it, but then I considered how we met and shrugged it off. That's why I've never really asked you about it."

Erika gave them each a smile, then began her story. "Well, it all started in a place very much like this."

***

Febuary 2001. Los Angeles, CA.

"Hey there. Can I buy you a drink?"

Erika frowned as she recognized the voice. "John?" She turned to see a tall, darkhaired, and deeply tanned man flashing a familiar grin at her. "John Travolta?"

The veteran actor blanched, staring at her. "Erika. I didn't recognize you."

"Obviously," Erika said. She had been coming to this club, Tech Noir, and places like it a lot recently- ever since breaking up with her boyfriend Mark a few months ago, she had felt a bit depressed. Her life also had other disappointments that weren't helping. A key one was that despite her recent success in the Oscar-nominated film Traffic, Erika's career had gone into something of a downturn. The fact that many random people were starting to notice her due to that film and make advances in which she really wasn't interested had been bothering her too. "Were you trying to pick me up just now?"

John blinked, then shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, I was. Sorry, I didn't..."

"It's okay," Erika interrupted, chuckling. Her family had known John's for many years, and in the past he'd been like a favorite uncle to her. They had much in common, and he had given her some good advice when she first got into acting as a teenager and started to hit it big in TV roles. They hadn't seen each other in several months, though, not since the premiere of John's last big film. Erika had gone to the movie thinking it would be great, since it was based on one of her favorite novels, but had barely been able to sit through it in its entirety. She'd talked to several of the other audience members after doing so, and they'd pretty much all agreed. Few of them wanted to tell John their thoughts, though, as they all knew how much work he had put into producing and starring in the movie. Erika had not heard much of John since, and his presence here was confusing her. "It's been a while since I've seen you. How you been?"

"I'm fine," John shrugged, sitting down at the bar beside her. "Just dealing with stuff. You know how it is."

Erika nodded. "Are you and Kelly on the rocks again?" To the public eye, John Travolta seemed to have a happy loving marriage, but as his friend, Erika knew it wasn't always like that. In the past she had heard rumors that John sometimes cruised bars, dancing and hanging out. His career's in limbo right now too, Erika mused. So of course he'd be trying to combat depression like I am by doing fun things. I wonder if it's working out any better for him than it is for me.

"We're fine," John repeated, shaking his head. "We're just taking a breather right now. You heard about the Razzies, right?"

"Yeah," Erika said, guessing what was on his mind. Time to tell him my opinion, she decided. "I'm sorry. But hey, it could have been worse. You could have gotten Uwe Boll to direct the film or something. That would have made things really bad. As it was..."

"Please stop that," John broke in. "I've been hearing it from people left and right. I know I made a big mistake. I just thought that was the part I was born to play, the movie I was born to do, and then... everyone hated it." He sighed and hung his head.

Console him, Erika thought. He'll listen to you. Just tell him your honest opinion. "John, you've been in a lot of great movies. Pulp Fiction, Face Off, Grease, Michael... and you think Battlefield Earth was your best role? Seriously?"

John raised his eyebrows, staring at her. "You're right, but..."

"You've faced downward spirals like this before," Erika went on. "We've talked about them. You told me I might have to learn to deal with them. Recently I've been motivated to do that. You remember how you told me you were typecast as a disco dancer?"

"Yeah. I liked that role, but to do the same thing over and over..."

"I know how you feel. Right now I'm getting offered tons of scripts that have me as a stripper, or a drug addict, or something similar. I just did that role, I don't want to get in a rut with it. That's why I went back to TV."

"Yeah, you're working with Geena Davis. Her latest project's about to bomb."

"It might, it might not," Erika shrugged. "Geena doesn't think it will- it's doing pretty good right now."

"Erika, everything that woman gets into fails. It doesn't matter how well she acts, how many awards she wins, or what sort of great script she's given. The public just doesn't flock to her. She was big back in the day, but now..."

"I know, John! But she's still one of my idols. She's a great person. Geena's been like a mentor to me."

"Right. I get that. I understand why you'd want to apprentice yourself to a veteran in our field for a while- you just had your first big success. I just think, with Geena, well, maybe you're making a mistake."

Better change the subject, Erika thought. He's getting off track. "John, this isn't about me or Geena. Why are you here?"

"You know why I'm here."

"Does Kelly know you're out trying to pick up girls? She doesn't know, does she?"

John grimaced, then smirked. "Erika, I have to be here, okay? I need to clear my mind. My career's in the shitter again, and it's all my fault. No one understands. I..."

"John!" Erika glared at him. Damn it, she thought to herself, how did I get into this? I'm not an auditor, and I rarely talk to them because they don't get me. I prefer to think about things my own way, settle my own problems. I've usually been able to do that. I'm not sure how clear I really am, though, even with all the classes I've taken. My fears and bad memories still often bother me, even though I don't have that many of them. It's been especially bad in recent months- I've been disappointed with my life and nothing is getting me out of it. No amount of rationalization works. I can't solve my problems, and neither can anyone else. And John wants me to help him?

I guess so, she thought. Alright, try your best. And hurry. He's staring funny at you!

"Does Kelly know you're here?" Erika asked again, trying to keep a level tone.

John paused, grimacing, then shrugged. "Yeah, she knows. She's the one who told me to go out and try to pick a girl up. She knows that usually helps me when I'm like this, especially when it works."

Erika gaped at his tone. She didn't think he was lying, but... "John, if this is some ploy..."

"Call her," John suggested, taking a cell phone out of his pocket. "She's out doing the same thing I'm doing right now. We got a friend babysitting the kids. Trust me, Erika. I'm not lying to you, okay?"

Erika frowned. She wanted to believe him, but... play along, she thought. John's been drinking, you can smell it on his breath. It's probably motivating him to be an idiot. She shrugged and took the phone, then keyed in the number John gave her. "Kelly Preston," a familiar voice answered after two rings.

Erika blinked, then decided to be direct. "Kelly, it's Erika. I'm in this bar called Tech Noir on Pico. You know, the place where they filmed Terminator?"

"Yeah, I know it. What's going on?"

Damn it, Erika thought. She sounds relaxed. Does she know what her husband's doing? I hate to tell her, but... "John's here. He's been drinking. He just tried to pick me up. He said that..."

"Erika, whoa!" Kelly interrupted. "Calm down. Did he tell you where I am right now?"

Erika felt herself shocked again. "Uh, no."

"Sapphic Rock."

The sincerity in Kelly's tone made Erika's heart leap. "That's a lesbian..."

"I know. I'm secretly in Clear Rainbow. John and I have an open marriage. Please don't tell anyone, okay? With all the trouble John's had over not being gay..."

"I won't!" Erika exclaimed, looking at John. He grinned and raised his glass of bourbon, a trademark gesture from his films. Oh my God, Erika thought. I suspected this, it makes a kind of sense, but it's just so... Stop it, Erika. You know about open marriages and swinging. You got into watching Sex and the City when you got the part on Geena's show, and you became a big fan. You've read the book that inspired the series cover to cover many times. The Ethical Slut too. You really shouldn't be surprised to see this. "I swear, Kelly," she calmed down, looking around. No one seemed to be noticing her or John, and she felt relieved. "I swear I will not tell anyone."

"Thank you," Kelly sighed. "You have to understand, Erika. My family is my first priority. John and I let a dumb idea come before that, and it's really hurting us right now, and... we just need a break from each other every now and then. I got into swinging after I divorced Kevin, when I was with Charlie. I stopped when I broke up with him, but then I started dating John and he was into it, had been for years, and... I went back."

"You don't have to explain, Kelly," Erika said, frowning at John as he sipped his drink. Damn it, I gotta get out of this right now. "I... I really don't care."




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 02



"Sorry," Kelly replied. "It's just usually when I try to explain this to people who know us..." She paused. "Look, Erika, if you want to get with John, it's okay with me. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Just remember he'll come back to me when it's all over."

Erika stared at herself in the mirror behind the bar, unable to believe what she was hearing. Oh my God, she thought. I gotta get out of here fast! "Uh, no, Kelly, that's alright. I'm really not interested in John. No offense. I'm sure he'll find someone. Good luck to you both. Bye now." She pressed the phone's hangup button and dropped it on the bar.

John turned to her and frowned, taking in her words. "Uh, listen, Erika, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I..."

Erika glared at him, making a shushing gesture. Her face was red as she hopped to her feet, her heart hammering in her chest. "Shut up," she snapped. "Just shut up. Like I said, good luck. Bye." Her shoes clicking on the floor, she hurried out of the club.

***

October 2003. London, England.

"I'm confused here," Alicia frowned at Erika. "You turned down John Travolta?"

"I'm confused too," Evan said. "Jamie's not married. What are you trying to tell me?"

"I'm just trying to tell you how I was feeling back then," Erika said. "And what I learned." She sighed and waved at Doug, thinking some drinks would probably help right now. "Before I met John that night, I had had a lot of guys I didn't know come up to me in clubs and try to pick me up. I hated it. I wasn't going to clubs to meet guys. I was just trying to get over my depression, have some fun dancing and hanging out. But then..."

"You bumped into John," Alicia said. "And he made you realize some of those guys were just as down as you were. That helped you. Am I right?"

"Yes," Erika nodded. "Exactly. Can we get two Mountain Dews and a Freckled Lemonade?" Doug waved in reply and started to fix the drinks.

"What are you saying here?" Evan asked. "Are you trying to tell me people have sex too quickly because they're depressed? Because I'm not depressed right now, Erika. Neither is Jamie. We're just going to have fun, and..."

"Evan!" Erika cut her off, glaring at the young blonde. "I'm telling you how I got into swinging. What happened with John was part of that. It got me thinking about other people's feelings, like Alicia said. I was shocked and angry at first, then I realized I was suddenly out of my funk. I wasn't thinking about my own problems anymore. Instead I was thinking about John, and Kelly, and the other people I'd met who were in clubs looking for sex. I wondered what was motivating them to do such a thing. Then I went back to the books I'd read about swinging and what motivates people to get into it and suddenly I was looking at them in a whole new way."

Alicia and Evan leaned close to her, rapt with attention.

"I consulted with Isaac Hayes about things," Erika went on. "I figured he'd be able to put them in perspective. I know him off and on as a family friend, like I know John. I've always seen him as a wise sage. He's also done a lot of work on this great comedy show that talks a lot about sex, so I thought..."

"South Park," Evan grinned. "I've seen that show. I love it."

"Me too," Alicia said. "It's a little crude but..." She looked up at Doug, who was smiling strangely as he set down their drinks. "Thank you." The bartender nodded and moved off.

"I'm a fan of it too," Erika said. "It really makes you laugh. So, I told Isaac about my situation and asked him to give me some advice. First he swore me to secrecy. Then he told me that he'd been into the lifestyle for decades and helped settle a lot of questions I had about it. We sorted out truth from fiction. I found out not everyone who's into it is into it because of depression- most people are very happy with themselves. I decided I wanted to be that way too. 

"I also was recalling how great having sex with Mark had made me feel, and thinking about how I hadn't had anyone since breaking up with him. I told this to Isaac, and he said I should just relax, live my fantasies. I was young and unmarried, and had things to sort out, so there was really nothing wrong with having a little fun. I was shocked he was saying all this, but then he told me how most people like to keep their involvement in the lifestyle secret, especially when they're famous. That made sense to me. I had already been dodging a lot of questions from the press about boyfriends and so on."

"We get it," Alicia said. "You've talked to me about building a public cover before. I didn't see the need, as I've always been pretty monogamous."

"Until now," Evan smirked.

"I still am when it comes to guys," Alicia said, frowning at the young blonde. "When I find the right man..." She waved her hand. "I may not marry him, but I will be loyal to him. That's my decision."

Erika shook her head at them. You two really need to chill, she thought. "I was like that too for a while," she told Alicia. "When I was with Mark, I stayed with just him even though I was also looking at and occasionally fantasizing about other guys. No harm in that, right? Then he dumped me for another girl, and I went into my cycle of depression. I couldn't get out of it. I wasn't thinking of fantasies that much for the longest time. Then after I bumped into John, my mood changed. I wanted to get with guys again. 

"But I wasn't sure about what sort of guy I wanted. Mark had been so great, and he was gone. Every other guy I thought of had something wrong with him or I didn't know him. It was driving me nuts. Isaac told me I should just say what the heck and not think much about what kind of guy I wanted. That I should start having sex again with people I wanted who wanted me. Just try to approach sex in the moment, and let the details take care of themselves. If you think too much about a problem, he told me, you'll never solve it. Sooner or later, you need to jump in the pool."

Evan nodded. "That's what I'm doing with Jamie."

Erika glared at her. "Let me finish, okay? Isaac's advice seemed good, but I couldn't get myself in the right mindset to take it. Then he gave me this analogy. He said I was wandering in a maze of emotion, and I couldn't find my way out. 'There is a reward somewhere in the maze, Erika. A minotaur lurks also, and guards it. The minotaur is your fear, happiness is the reward. You will have to confront one to get to the other.'"

"Basically he told you you were afraid of sex," Alicia said.

"Yeah," Erika sighed. "I always was back then. When I got with Mark the first time, I was able to talk myself into doing it, but I still had my fears. They held me back a lot with him, it was part of why we didn't work out. I thought about this and what Isaac had said, and I realized he was right. I needed to confront my fear. I worked out a plan, with Isaac's help. I decided to track down and seduce someone who I'd wanted for a long time, who was into the lifestyle, and who represented a major barrier to me. If I could fuck him, and enjoy it..." She waved her hand.

"Who'd you pick?" Alicia asked.

"Benicio del Toro."

Evan grinned. "The Latin Brad Pitt."

Alicia rolled her eyes. "Please. Don't tell me you bought into that Don Juan shit, Erika. Don Juan always leaves women in the morning. You couldn't have been expecting..."

"I didn't think about that!" Erika declared, looking back and forth at them both. "I thought it would be like Casanova, not Don Juan. I would seduce him, we would both have fun, and then he would respect me after the first time and become my next great lover."

"Like me and Jamie," Evan said.

"Yes," Erika said. She glanced at Doug, who was smiling as he listened while serving customers. She grinned back, then returned her attention to the story. "I had known Benicio for almost a year, and admired him for a long time. We worked together on Traffic, got to be friends. I had a crush on him that was unrequited. You guys understand, right?"

"Benicio del Toro is good looking," Alicia said, "and a great actor. He made Excess Baggage almost tolerable for me. I also enjoyed watching him in Licence to Kill and Usual Suspects."

Erika nodded. "Me too. I figured Benicio would be happy, and maybe that would rub off on me. He was doing great back then- he'd won massive praise for Traffic and had three other films out as well. Everyone was looking and smiling at him. Isaac agreed he'd be a good man for me to approach. Handsome, smart, and careful too. I was looking for an initiator into the lifestyle, and Benicio seemed like the perfect candidate."

"So what'd you do?" Evan said, looking intrigued now. "Did you get him?"

"Yes," Erika smiled fondly. "It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I called Benicio up, told him I wanted to meet and talk. We had dinner at the Voltaire. I told him everything Isaac had told me and about how I'd been feeling. Then I told him straight out what I wanted. He was surprised, but then he saw I was sincere. He was understanding and told me he'd often thought of me fondly, as a friend, all through making Traffic. He could understand my crush, and he was between lovers at the time, like me."

"We get it," said Alicia. She too was smiling. "So..."

Erika sighed, thinking back.

***

Febuary 2001. Los Angeles, CA.

"Are you looking forward to this?"

Erika grinned at Benicio del Toro, saying nothing. The man's darkly handsome features and deep voice were mesmerizing her, as they had all night. Were words necessary? she wondered. No, probably not. Instead she merely looked up into Benicio's dark pools, at the heavy circles around them. Usually such features on a man bothered her, but on Benicio they didn't. He'd had them all his life, and wore them well. His personality also greatly aided the attraction. The man was magnetic, on screen and off. Erika had wanted him for so long, and now she would have him, finally.

"It might not really help you," Isaac's voice echoed in her mind. "Be careful. Benicio is a complicated man."

"Like you?"

"No, even more so. He couldn't hold on to Claire Forlani, or Alicia Silverstone, or a number of other great women. He's a rover, always has been. Don't expect more from this than you're going to get."

"I won't, Isaac," Erika had promised. The freedom's part of what I like about this, she thought. Benicio's unattached, I am too. This will get me into the lifestyle, whether it stays permanent or not. That's what I want here. I set it up, prepared just like I did for losing my virginity. I rented a suite here at the Regent Beverly Wilshire, took Benicio out, and talked him into this. It worked out great. This night is reminding me of my first time with Mark too. It's raining heavily outside, just as it was then, only the storms seem harder now. I can hear the thunder and lightning, even inside this elevator. I hope the earth doesn't move, that would be bad. No, she decided. I won't think about that. I want this night to be great.

"I will treat you right," Benicio said, reaching out and stroking her hair. "You will like what I do to you."

I hope so, Erika thought. I hope you'll like me too. I always liked everything Mark did to me, and vice versa, or so I thought. Why'd he dump me then? I still don't understand. Oh well, that was months ago. I'm moving on. That's what this is about- moving on and getting back to life.

The elevator stopped and the doors dinged open. "Floor twelve," the operator said. "Enjoy your stay."

"Gracias, amigo," Benicio said. He handed the operator a tip, then stepped into the hall. Erika smiled at the operator, who'd been eyeing her all through the ride, before following. He looked her up and down again, admiring her curves under her revealing red dress, as the elevator doors shut. Benicio walked over to a nearby room and fumbled in the pocket of his black suit for a key.

"I have it," Erika told him, taking the card out of her purse. "My room, remember?"

"Oh, right," Benicio chuckled. He bounced his fingers off his head. "Listen, Erika, I am aware you may still not be sure what you want from this. The lifestyle is different for every person. I can help you get into it, but only so much."

You've been telling me that all night, Erika thought. Isaac said the same thing. Why? This is just sex. It's no big deal. No, wait, it is a big deal, Erika. You know how sex makes you feel, what it can create. You've thought about it so much, you love it more than anything. You want it to burn you out of the funk you've been in, get you to enjoy life once more. Surely it can. You and Mark had sex one last time before you broke up, and you treasure that memory as much as any other. All your times in the sack have been great. You know sex can be bad, but you don't want it to be that way. And this won't, she told herself. It can't.

"You just need to satisfy me," Erika told Benicio. "No complications."

He nodded. "No complications." They had agreed earlier tonight that whatever happened, they would stay good friends. Benicio had brought up that not every pair of lovers found themselves compatible, and though Erika had hated doing so, she'd had to agree. Well, this isn't about finding Mr. Right, she reminded herself. I have my whole life to do that. All I want right now is freedom from my maze. Benicio will give it to me.

That hope in mind, she flicked her key through the lock and shoved open the door. Smiling and trying to control her trembling nerves, she walked into the suite's sitting room, Benicio following behind. He nodded at the bottles of sparkling water and bowl of fruit laid out on a table they passed, but touched neither. Good, Erika thought. We've already had enough food and drink tonight. She stepped out of her shoes as they entered the bedroom, dropping her purse beside them on the floor. "Ben..."

Before she could get out his complete name, Benicio grabbed her from behind, spun her around, and pulled her face up to his. Erika gasped as their lips met. His breath was warm, and flowing into her like heat from a furnace. He kissed her quickly, then pulled back. "I am sorry. I had to do that."

"It's okay," Erika sighed, attempting to calm her heart. She unsnapped the back of her dress and walked over to the bed, pulled its covers down. "You can do whatever you want to me." With that, she turned and fell back, opening her arms.

Benicio returned her smile and shrugged off his jacket. He then unfastened his belt and bent over to unlace his shoes. He hummed a Spanish tune as he disrobed, feeling in his voice. 

Come on, Erika thought. I'm so impatient right now. Get undressed! 

She watched as her new lover dropped his pants, hoping his manhood wouldn't be too much for her. Benicio took off his socks and shoes, smiling at her all the while. He then began unbuttoning his shirt, still humming, his eyes looking her up and down. 

Benicio's a method actor, Erika recalled. He has a huge repertoire of tricks and techniques for the stage, maybe for this too. He's probably contemplating which ones to use on me. Maybe I should tell him to follow his heart, not the script. This isn't a lovescene. She smiled as he pushed his shirt off his torso, revealing his well-sculpted chest.

Dressed now only in his boxers, Benicio walked forward and stood facing Erika. She shook her head, feeling his shadow looming over her. She did not shrink away, though. This moment called for bravery. I am here freely and of my own will, Erika thought. So is he. We are going to enjoy what we are about to do. Nothing will stop that. So calm down. Control yourself. He has more experience with this, let him guide you. She beckoned to him with one of her hands.

Benicio held up a finger, still smiling. He hooked his thumbs in his boxer shorts and pushed them off. Smaller than I thought, Erika regarded his organ. Oh well, it's still something to be proud of, and I'm sure he'll know how to use it. It's thicker than Mark's, but not as long. Not yet anyway, he's not that hard right now. I need to change that. I will soon.

Her lover stepped out of his shorts and dropped himself onto the bed. He moved in, cuddled up to her, and looked her over again. "Tu eres muy bonita, Erika. Do you have any special requests?"

"Just make me feel good," she said, reaching out and pulling him closer to her body. She wrapped her arms around him, ran her fingers through his dark curly hair and down along his back. She gasped, feeling the heat of his proximity. Benicio's chest was rough and hard, the hair there thin and spread out. Erika tangled her right hand's fingers in it as they embraced, tugging on the hair and his nipples. She pressed her lips to his chin, his cheek, and finally his mouth, trying to send promises into his mind with her eyes.

Benicio quickly responded, his arms encircling her and caressing her shoulders and back. Erika let out a breath, smiling as he pulled down the zipper of her dress. She dropped her arms so he could push the sleeves off her shoulders. Her white skin clashed against his, presenting an intriguing contrast with his dark tan. 

They kissed again several times as he moved the dress down, tongues licking each other's throats. Erika felt colder as her body was bared, then warmer at the feel of his presence and attention. Benicio continued to look her over as he undressed her, smiling at the sight of her hard pink nipples and the triangle of blonde hair between her legs. Just as on most nights when she was planning to have sex, Erika had not bothered with underwear.

She smiled at him as he moved away a little after pulling the dress all the way off her, looking him over again. His body's like a dream, Erika thought. So tanned and well-proportioned. I can see him getting aroused, a second ago I felt it. He's flushed with passion now. I can tell even with that wonderful dark skin. She grinned and let out another breath. 

Benicio did the same, mumbling something she couldn't decipher in his native language. Then he moved back towards her, placing his left hand on her shoulder and his right on the valley between her breasts. He moved the latter back and forth, stroking her nipples to attention before leaning in to kiss each one.

"Ah!" Erika moaned, lying down and letting him move atop her body. He's bolder than Mark was, she thought. Good. I like that. She laughed as Benicio looked up and stuck his tongue out at her, then bent back down and licked at her nipples. "Yes!" 

She pressed her palms into his back and squeezed his shoulders, pulling his body into hers. She felt her nipples growing tight and hard, jabbing into him. She could also feel his manhood against her hip, growing larger and thicker with their closeness. She rubbed her thigh against it, feeling herself getting warmer and wetter. An ache was echoing between her legs, its rhythm matching her heartbeat. He seems ready, she evaluated. I think I'm ready. Now?

"Espera," Benicio said, guessing her thoughts. Wait, Erika mused. That means wait. Okay, I'll wait. Just don't make it too long, okay? Por favor, Benicio, please.

She gasped again as he sucked hard on her nipples, then moved down. He planted kisses along her stomach and breastbone, traveling a path that made Erika shake. Oh my God, she thought. He's going to lick me down there, without prompting. I had to talk Mark into that, and it took him several tries to get it right. Is Benicio any good? He's had experience with a lot of women, so he might be, but... 

Never mind, she thought. Just let him do it. You'll find out. She dropped her hands from his body and smiled down at him, then moaned as he licked across her navel, then her waist. Hurry, Erika thought, listening to him mumble and breathe. I want you! Taste me! Come on!

Benicio's tongue stabbed out, spearing into her core. Erika let out a scream, her legs kicking wildly. Benicio reached out and grabbed hold of them, pulling them apart and keeping them still. He licked her pussy up and down, concentrating on the top and the outer edges, then the inner folds. Erika's clit thrust into his tongue and she gasped, feeling juice leak out of her into his lips. "Yes! Don't stop! Please!" He laughed, mumbled another Spanish phrase, then thrust his tongue deep into her snatch. His right hand moved in as well, two fingers entering Erika's cunt. She gasped, contracting her muscles around them, her body tingling hard.




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 02



His other hand came up as her legs relaxed, fondled her breasts as he sucked at her. "Ahh!" Erika moaned, and he chuckled in reply, squeezing at her skin. "Yes!" She felt herself shaking, her eruptions growing as Benicio kept licking her. Her heart was beating faster and faster, passion and emotion flooding back into her mind. Yes, Erika thought, sighing in rapture. I knew it could be like this again, I waited for it, and it's better now. It was so long, too long. Oh God, oh my God. Keep it up. "Oh, ah!"

"Hold on, baby," Benicio said, pulling back. Erika groaned, feeling the absence of his mouth. Then he moved up along her body, keeping his hands in place. He lined himself up against her, his fingers stroking her breasts and pussy up and down. Oh yes, Erika thought. Now. Do it now. Please.

Benicio regarded her expression and grinned back, showing his teeth. Then his fingers stopped. He took his right hand out of her pussy and held it up to her eyes. 

Erika nodded, remembering what they'd discussed. Yes, she was on the pill, but Benicio liked to be as careful as possible. Therefore they had picked up some condoms in the gift shop downstairs. Erika grinned, recalling how the clerk had been staring at them. She breathed in and out several times, then waved at the foot of the bed. 

Benicio nodded and put his fingers to her lips. Erika gasped, opened her mouth, and sucked his digits. Her own taste flared across her throat, salty and sweet. Benicio chuckled, then pulled his fingers out and stood up.

Hurry, Erika thought, watching him. Rapido! She rubbed her own breasts and pussy as Benicio picked up his pants and took the condoms out of his back pocket. "Ahh," she moaned, keeping her eyes on him, anticipating what was to come. 

Benicio tore open the package, removed one of the latex circles and broke its foil cover, then expertly unrolled it and slipped it over his organ. He nodded, said, "Okay," then turned back to the bed.

Erika moaned, blinking her eyes and seizing the feelings in her mind. She raised the fingers that had been inside her to her lips, sucked her juices off them, then beckoned Benicio close. He looked her over again, frowning. Erika gave him another questioning look, wondering what was going on. Finally he shrugged, then dropped onto the bed beside her and began moving close. Erika moved with him, reaching out and squeezing his shoulders with her hands. His arms came up, pulled her into him. He kissed her lips, then her neck, and after that her lips again. "Yes," Erika breathed.

Grinning in reply, Benicio kissed her again, then looked down at their bodies. Erika felt his manhood with her thigh and moved slightly to the side, placing it against her cunt. The feeling of its presence was strange, yet familiar. Ease up now, Erika told herself. This is just like with Mark, only a tighter fit. It will hurt a little, then I'll enjoy it. She prepared to move forward. Okay, on three. One, two...

"Ahhhhh!" she screamed, as Benicio thrust into her a second too soon. He grinned and chuckled. She laughed in response, trying to calm her heart. His hands came up and seized her shoulders. She moved her own hands to a similar position on him, huddling close and clenching hard around him with her legs. I'm full, Erika mused. He's hard within me. I can barely think of anything other than the ache, and how I'm shaking, and... Again she gasped as Benicio started thrusting back and forth into her snatch.

For several minutes he thrust in and out, frequently kissing her or smiling at her as their bodies neared. Erika moved with him, continuing to caress his back and chest. His hands went from her shoulders to her sides, running up and down them and flicking in towards her nipples. He also rolled back and forth on the bed, taking Erika with him. First she was above him, lashing her long hair against his chest as they moved. Then she was under him, gasping in pleasure as he thrust down into her. 

"Yes!" she moaned and screamed, tingling again and again. Her juices flowed harder with each thrust, her emotions crashing. Benicio rolled them back onto their sides and smiled at her, then thrust hard and deep. She laughed, looking at his clenched teeth, and contracted around his organ as it moved out, then back into her. Now, Erika thought, feeling her spirit begin to rise. One more thrust, and she was off.

"Yes!!!" she wailed, bucking and twisting against her lover. Benicio smiled and dropped his hands to her hips as she came, grabbing hold of her thighs and squeezing gently but hard. Erika moaned and shook back and forth, let out another breath, then kissed him. He kissed her back, then pulled out.

"What are you doing?" Erika frowned as his hands fell from her hips. "You haven't come yet. Go back in and I'll..."

Benicio shook his head, looking at her and waving a finger. "Turn over."

Erika raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. He wants me from behind, she thought. Okay, I can dig that. Mark didn't like taking me from behind, he never would. I've read about it, though. Maybe I'll like it. She smiled and turned her back to Benicio, looking over her shoulder at his nod.

"Okay," he said. "You're gonna love this, baby."

I hope so, Erika thought, feeling his hands on her shoulders again. This is new for me, and unusual. I like sex, though, and this is just another kind of sex. It's not a big deal. 

She smiled and spread her legs wide as Benicio eased her onto her belly and moved over her. His body brushed against hers, his organ trailing across her left thigh. Erika moaned, feeling its warmth even through the latex. She could not access him easily in her current position, so she put her hands on her breasts, clenching her teeth in preparation to feel him enter her again. Benicio aligned their waists and leaned close, his dark hair mixing with her blonde curls.

"When you're ready," her lover whispered into her ear. "Uno, dos..."

"Now!" Erika said, squeezing her breasts. The closeness of him, the tingling in her, was making her crazy. I'm about to get off again, she thought. I have to. "Now!" Benicio laughed, then pushed forward and inside.

Erika gasped and shook, feeling something wrong. Her cunt was still empty, even though it was open. Yet she could feel Benicio's organ pushing into another hole in her body. Oh my gosh, she thought, he's... Relax, Erika. You've read about this, and seen it done in movies. It feels odd, but it's just as good as if he were fucking my pussy. It's just different. I wanted difference. I need to get to like this.

She moved her body up and down on the mattress as he began to thrust, trying to concentrate on the good feelings he was creating and not the pain. Erika kept one hand squeezing her breasts and dropped the other to her cunt, slipped in two fingers. I need to feel better about this, she thought, rubbing herself. I can feel better. I do. She smiled as her body responded to her commands. 

I like being fucked this way, she decided. Vaginal's better, but this is okay too. It's good that Benicio's not being brutal or hitting me too fast. I don't think I'd want that right now. Maybe another time, but at this moment...

"Ahh!" she gasped as he suddenly thrust hard, breathing deep into her ear. Erika bit her lip, feeling distended. Then he started shaking, and she realized he was cumming. She could feel heat and warmth, soaking the latex that seperated his organ from her inner folds. Okay, she thought as he thrust hard again, then started to slow. My turn now. I want an orgasm out of this, or I'll probably regret doing it later. She moved her fingers to her clit and grabbed it in the most sensitive spots, then pressed hard and flicked them back and forth.

Benicio watched her, smiling. Erika felt him growing soft and slipping out, then moving away. She rolled onto her back and looked at him, moaning and caressing her body. The softness of the mattress somewhat eased the pain in her rear, and she relaxed, then started moving her fingers rapidly again.

Her lover chuckled and moved back towards her. His fingers joined Erika's, rubbing her breasts, stomach, and cunt. Yes, Erika thought, grinning at him. Help me again. Please. She flicked her fingers harder and faster, and Benicio picked up the rhythm. They exchanged blinks and laughs, looking each other up and down. After a few seconds, Erika felt herself start to spasm. "Yes!"

She clenched around the four fingers inside her, two of his and two of hers, and moaned her pleasure out. "Ahhhhh!!" She gasped one last time, then bit her lip, smiling at him. Benicio leaned in and kissed her, his mouth open. Erika smiled and accepted his breath and tongue.

I feel so drained now, she thought. So tired. What Benicio did to me was good, but I wasn't ready for it. Normally I'd have the energy to keep going a while longer, but... She closed her eyes as he pulled back and gave in to sleep.

***

October 2003. London, England.

"My God!" Evan gasped as Erika finished describing her memory. "That was hot!"

Alicia nodded in agreement. "I thought Benicio del Toro was only like that on screen."

"He likes acting out his characters in bed," Erika said, smiling. "It was good for me too, all of it."

Evan shook her head, smiling. "I can't believe he fucked you in the ass!"

"You have to be with the right person to enjoy that," Alicia said. "Some guys are too rough, and they can hurt you."

Evan nodded. "I know. Nikki and I did a lot of it. I still have some of the toys she gave me. If you like, we can use them sometime."

Alicia blinked, biting her lip. She looked at Erika, who flashed her a grin. The redhead stood up and pushed back from the table, moving her queen before turning away. "I need to go to the bathroom," she said, then headed that way fast.

Evan smirked at Erika, who laughed, watching Alicia depart. She then turned her eyes back to the chessboard and sighed as she saw where Alicia's queen was now. "Damn it. Checkmate."

"You'll beat her next time," Evan said. "It only took me five games."

"Thanks," Erika said, turning away from the board and sipping her drink. "So, do you understand what I was trying to tell you?"

"Yeah," Evan said. "Fucking on the first date can be full of things for which you aren't really prepared. But you did it, and you liked it, so you went into swinging. Am I right?"

Erika shook her head. "Not completely. I did like it. Then... I woke up alone."

Evan's mouth fell open. "What?"

"I woke up alone," Erika repeated, stirring her ice with her straw. "Benicio left me. There was a message on the phone- something about how he really enjoyed being with me but didn't think we were right for each other. He talked about how I needed to find people my own age, get with them, and build up my experience. He said if I really wanted to be into the lifestyle, I would have to get more used to being surprised."

"Okay," Evan said, grimacing. "I can understand he felt that way. But still..."

"I know," Erika agreed. "He could have stuck around and helped me. As it was, I felt really pissed off even though I got that he was speaking to me from the heart. I was back in my maze for a few days, deep within my depression. Then I started going out again. 

"This time, when guys came up to me, I felt more interested in spending time with them. I had a lot of dates. I would never spend too much time with any particular guy, though. I kept finding things I didn't like about them. Most often it was that they felt getting with a movie star stroked the ego, and treated me accordingly. They saw me as a conquest, little more. They would leave me like Benicio did- sometimes with a note, sometimes without. Or they'd break up with me, seek other girls even quicker than Mark did. I hated it so much."

"But then you found good guys, right? Michael Rosenbaum, Jesse Bradford..."

Erika cut her off with a sigh. "Rosey and Jesse came later. I got with a lot of different guys between Benicio and them. I went to places Isaac told me about, hung out around LA's campuses and the Boulevard, got all the swinging experience I could. I always told the media I didn't have time for boyfriends, and they believed me. Meanwhile I was having fun. I didn't tell any of my regular friends about what I was doing except for Isaac and Dean, my agent at the time. He was into the lifestyle too and willing to talk me down when I got emotional."

"Emotional?" Evan asked with a frown.

"Yes," Erika replied. "Sex makes you very emotional. Haven't you noticed that by now? Your feelings are intense, before and after. It can bring you close to people, but it can also drive you apart. The sex I had was always good for me at the moment, but afterwards I found I could never really be sure how things would turn out. For a while I kept searching for great guys, trying to assemble a list of characteristics to look for so I could predict what would happen if I got with any particular person. But nothing worked, Evan. None of my relationships was all great. I'm just glad I was able to stay in the lifestyle."

"Yeah," Evan said. "Me too."

Erika smiled at the young girl. "It helped that I always found satisfaction no matter what. I lost one guy, and another was right around the corner. I wasn't looking at girls back then, that came later too. I was still distraught a lot of the time. Isaac and Dean had to talk me out of it. Eventually it started working. My career got out of its downturn. Dean got me cast in Home Room, which had a script I really liked, and I won some awards for what I had done in Traffic. I was doing good again, and soon I was feeling better about myself."

"What about Benicio? Did you ever see him after what happened?"

Erika nodded. "We met each other again a couple weeks later at the SAG Awards. I avoided him initially, I was still upset. Then he came up to me and apologized, and I found myself replying that it was okay. We went home together after the afterparty, and got it on again. It was still good, even though he left me again when it was over. Benicio has never wanted to get too attached to me- to him I'm just a little girl. I feel the same, he's just a crush. I still see him off and on when I'm in LA, though. He was my escort at an Elton John AIDS Foundation party last year."

"And you get along."

"Yes. As well as can be expected." She sighed. "Evan, I've had a lot of first dates where I've ended up in bed with a guy. It's a bad idea. Alicia's had even more, she can back up what I'm saying. Dates are never something that are going to go right no matter what. You think they might, but then they don't. There's really no way to predict what could happen. But it helps if you take things slowly with the guy, learn about him, keep him interested. If you do that, he may get to like you and he'll come back for more."

Evan thought over her words, grimacing. "Okay, I see what you're saying. You think if I move too fast with Jamie, he might get the wrong idea about me."

"Yes. He also might not be as ready as you think he is. Some guys want you to take things slow- they like it that way."

"Okay," Evan said. "I will. Thanks for talking to me. I really appreciate it." She leaned close and patted her friend on the hand.

"I'm here anytime you need me," Erika said, smiling before looking away. Evan nodded, then got up and headed back to the dance floor, a sad look on her face. I feel sad too, Erika thought. It did not feel good reliving all that. But I helped Evan. That's what's important. I'll find Alicia, take her upstairs, get to feeling better. That's all I need.

"You shouldn't be so upset," a voice said. "You rode the bull."

Erika raised an eyebrow and turned, frowned as she saw the club's manager standing next to her. Great sympathy welled up from his face and tone. "Rode the bull?" Erika asked. She and Doug had talked now and again, and he frequently used strange analogies, like Isaac did. "What do you mean?"

Doug pulled out a chair from the table and sat down, shook his head, and sighed. "Back where I come from," he told Erika, "we have this festival called the rodeo. Millions of people flock to it every year. There are cowboys who partake in a sport called bull riding. They get on a bull, ride around the arena, and try to stay on. It takes a lot of practice to get it right. You gotta be careful, and have protection. The bulls don't like being ridden, you see, and they always do their best to throw the rider off. Usually they do, very quickly. The rider ends up in the dust, or maybe even a pile of manure, frequently with broken bones. They say that when you ride a bull, it's not if you're going to get hurt you should be worried about. It's when, and how badly."

He took a breath. "You know what, though? Most of those guys get hurt a lot riding the bull, but they keep trying again. They don't let failure get them down. They don't let anybody talk them out of it, no matter how good the arguments. They keep trying to ride the bull, because for the eight seconds or however long they're able to stay on, they're..."

"Happy," Erika completed.

"Yeah." Doug sighed. "You can be happy too. The dreams you're chasing are far less dangerous. They can also give greater pleasure. You just have to remember the things that can go wrong."

Erika nodded. I do, she thought. I've learned my lessons well, I always have. I continue. But sometimes I still feel... No, Erika, forget that shit.

She shook her head and turned away, new thoughts flashing into her mind as she thought over Doug's words. He's helpful to me, Erika smiled to herself. Always has been, even though he doesn't have to do anything. I should thank Doug for this. I could get with Alicia tonight, or Evan, or someone else familiar. But I think I'd rather take another friendship to the next level instead. She looked towards the bar, wondering if it was possible, and grinned again when she saw another club employee had taken Doug's usual place. "Doug," she said, turning back to her friend. "Have you ever wanted to ride the bull?"

He frowned, then shrugged. "Of course I have," he said. "I wouldn't be human if I didn't."

"Would you like a chance?"

Doug stared at her, seeming confused by her words. Then he gasped, seeing the offer behind them. He stood and stared at Erika, his mouth opening and then just as quickly slamming shut. He wasn't expecting anything to happen between us, Erika realized. He just wanted to cheer me up. So sweet... But he better not turn me down now. I want this. I want him. He better follow through, and be good to me, and...

The manager of Inside Out shrugged again, then reached out and took her hand. "As you wish."

***

End of Chapter 2.



Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 03



Disclaimer/FAQ: Due to its themes and content, this story should only be read by responsible adults willing and able to judge it fairly. The story may bear some relation to actual history, but it has been edited via the writer's lens and thus become fiction. You are encouraged to sharpen your mind by figuring out the difference. Any actual people or events included in the story are not reflected the way they exist in reality, no matter the resemblance. The inclusion of said people and events in the story is not meant as anything more or less than an tribute to them that is dramatic, tragic, comedic, and above all honest and appropriate to the tale. Any characters, themes, or concepts herein that did not originate with this writer belong to their respective creators and are used as similar tribute to those folk. Opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone and you have the inalienable right to disagree with them. Your opinion of this story and the issues it discusses I leave up to you. I just hope you find something to enjoy. This story may be posted anywhere on the Net that has my permission and is free to access for the average adult viewer. I acknowledge all who helped me create and publish this story, thank them deeply, and welcome others to join their ranks. Please send feedback if you like the story enough to have an opinion of it worth discussing- I will be glad to respond.

Author's Notes: This chapter of the series serves as an ending to something I no longer wish to explore. Thanks to all who read and aided the creation of this story and all my other celebrity erotica- it was a fun ride, but it's over now. I hope your enjoyment never dries up. – AN

*****************************

Chapter 3- Inauguration

October 2003. London, England.

It is hard to concentrate when you are being eaten out skillfully by a beautiful redhead.

This Erika Christensen was learning firsthand. She lay naked in a pile of cushions, her equally undressed friend Alicia Witt's head buried between her legs. One of Alicia's hands was squeezing and caressing at each of Erika's thighs while her tongue licked the space between. Up and down, side to side, lingering for a moment on the clitoris and then stabbing past it and within. "Ahh!!" Erika screamed as Alicia hit a key spot, her hands grabbing at her breasts. She flicked her thumbs at her nipples and rubbed their undersides, at the same time opening her legs wider as Alicia leaned in. The other actress held them steady, licking in circles now and varying her speed so as to hold Erika off. 

Good, Erika thought, shaking out her long curly blonde hair. You're learning well for someone who's only been doing this about three weeks. But of course you're a prodigy, so you've always been a fast learner. She grinned, reflecting on their relationship's history while the licking went on.

Erika and Alicia had known each other for almost two years. They had met at a movie premiere, and found themselves linked by common interests and personality traits. Both were actresses, young, and experienced with the Hollywood scene. Neither was that famous, nor was becoming so important to them. Instead they merely wanted to experience as much of life as they could, and they each saw acting as the best way to do that their talents allowed. Their friendship was a somewhat distant one, the circumstances of their careers keeping them apart, but they had still regularly been able to make time to see one another and hang out. 

Alicia's always seen in me the kind of actress she wanted to be, Erika thought. Every role I've ever done in films, TV shows, and music has been memorable. I've never failed to get acclaim, from critics or fans. At the time we met, my career was recovering from a downturn, while hers was in the middle of one. She was becoming disillusioned with Hollywood, taking fewer and fewer parts as her movies either bombed, got flamed by critics, or both. Her TV career was similar, the appearances small and far between. Even when she got praised, people just weren't allowing Alicia to hang around long. Or she got cable movies that were seen by few and not that great. Her love life was equally disappointing.

Then she met me. Someone younger than she was, and apparently happier. I was so sure of myself I was able to tell off major Hollywood players trying to suggest to me what I should do with my fame and barely bat an eye. I got hurt, but I never let it seem to get me down. I stayed out of the spotlight, but still attracted a good amount of notice and praise in the same sort of roles she used to do as a child. I also seemed wiser about the world than she was, and more content with it. All these things kept Alicia interested in being around me. Even as our career paths diverged, even as she moved to London to get away from the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles, even as my career continued to do well while hers stayed pretty slow.

Just recently, we got closer. Alicia and I were cast in the same film, a drama called The Upside of Anger. We formed a sexual relationship with our co-stars, Keri Russell and Evan Rachel Wood. I didn't know they were swingers before it began, I was only trying to make friends with them. Alicia knew I was into the lifestyle, but she kept it secret. Until, that is, we let Keri and Evan seduce us both. Something really great was formed that day, and it continues now.

Erika grinned as one of Alicia's hands came up across her waist, rubbed at her stomach and chest. She caressed its wrist with her own hand, then leaned down and stroked Alicia's hair. She recalled how their latest coupling had begun. Another day off from filming, not much to do. I was hanging out here at our favorite London club, discussing philosophy with the manager. Then Alicia came up to me, said she needed to talk to me about something in private. I was happy to oblige- I've been a confessor for her since the day we met. Doug gave us one of the VIP rooms, and then as soon as we got up here Alicia started giving me one hot kiss after another. I eagerly returned them, and pretty soon we ended up in our current condition.

You could have just said you wanted to do it with me, Erika chuckled to herself, looking over Alicia's pale freckled flesh. Inside Out is a swingers' haven- no one would have minded. There are many people at the club who know who we are- how can they not?- but I doubt any of them would have dared to call the tabloids. But of course you're still paranoid and naive about all this. Oh well, we'll work on that. I know from personal experience that the more one gets involved in this, the braver they get. You obviously still have a ways to go.

She gasped as Alicia's tongue jabbed into her, pleasure welling up from within her body as juice flooded out. "Yes!!" Erika cried out, feeling something rise and wash over her. "Yes!!" Alicia lapped more eagerly as she crested, her hands pressing hard against Erika's thigh and hip. "Ahh!!!" Erika flung her head from side to side, crying out again and then closing her mouth as the emotion died away. Great, she thought, though not that intense. Of course, I'm sure that was only the first one. We have all night to give each other more before we have to go back to our ordinary lives.

Alicia took her mouth away from Erika's pussy and smiled, pulling her slim body up alongside Erika's lush one. She leaned in and kissed Erika, who lapped eagerly at the essence on her lips. The redhead met Erika's tongue with her own, then broke their kiss, smiling.

Erika smiled back. "Thanks," she said. "Shall I do you?"

Her hand moved towards her friend, but Alicia stopped it with a grab. "Later. I need you to tell me about something."

Uh oh, Erika thought. This was just a prelude, only not the sort I thought. Please don't say you're considering giving this up again, Alicia. You've been enjoying it so much. So have the rest of us. I know you were reluctant in the beginning, you always have been, but didn't we talk you out of that? Come on!

She blinked her blue eyes, then looked into Alicia's brown ones. "What's the matter? You know you can talk to me about anything- what is it?"

Alicia grimaced. "You remember the first time we kissed?"

Erika nodded, thinking back.

***

Feburary 2002. Los Angeles, CA.

"Man," Alicia said, opening her apartment door and stepping through. "What a drag of a night this has been."

Erika shook her head in agreement, following. They had been going out to the clubs of Los Angeles as they often did, trying to pick up guys. Alicia had suffered a recent breakup, and was looking to jump back in the pool with both feet. Erika was trying to help her out, and maybe score something for herself too. But for some reason none of the guys they'd spoken to that night had been interested. No one had asked them to dance, and those they'd asked had declined. They had tried many possibles, but none had been successful. 

Maybe we should have reminded them about the movies we've been in, Erika thought. Neither Alicia or I have had anything come out in a while, so they didn't recognize us. So perhaps if we'd reminded them of Traffic or Vanilla Sky...

No, she grimaced. That might have not worked either. The guys might not have seen those movies, and even if they did, they might not have believed us. Then, of course, even if they believed us, not everyone is into movie stars. Nah, it's probably better that we didn't try that. Alicia's right, sucky night. Unless... A thought occurred to her and she grinned.

"Thanks for driving me home," Alicia said, turning to face Erika after shutting the door. "I'll see you again this weekend, we can keep trying. Maybe we'll have better luck soon."

Erika nodded and held up her hand. This is the perfect opportunity, she thought. I've known her long enough, I like her, I can't let it go. "Alicia, wait. We can still have fun tonight."

Alicia frowned. "What do you mean?"

Erika smirked, then leaned close to the taller girl and stood up slightly, extending her arms. She took hold of Alicia's face and kissed her lips, sparking a gasp from the redhead. Alicia's hands rose almost instantly, grabbing Erika's shoulders and pushing hard at them. Oh no, Erika thought, sensing her resistance. Don't do that! You have to like this. Come on! She kept her lips on Alicia's, her fingers stroking the other girl's cheeks. Alicia seemed to echo her fervor, and Erika smiled, opening her mouth. Her tongue moved forward, tapped at the wall of Alicia's lips. They did not part, however. Instead, Alicia shook her head and pulled away, a shocked look on her face. Shit, Erika thought.

"I'm sorry," she said, taking a step back from Alicia. "Was I too fast? I..."

Alicia stopped her with a raised hand, still looking bemused. "What made you think you could do that?"

"Uh..." Erika stammered. Get a hold of yourself!, she commanded her insides. "I've known you for two months, we're good friends, we didn't have any other options tonight, and..."

"I'm not into that, Erika."

Erika's mouth fell open. "You gotta be kidding me! All the lesbian movies you've been in? Fun, Four Rooms, Gen 13..."

"I was acting!" Alicia turned away from her, grimacing and putting a hand to her mouth. She dropped it, then turned back to Erika. "I never thought you..."

Damn it, Erika said to herself. I really jumped too fast here. "I'm sorry. You know I swing, right? I've told you I'm not exclusive with anyone."

"But you didn't tell me you were..." Alicia shook her head. "I probably should have asked. I'm sorry, Erika. I'm sorry."

Erika stared at her. "So you're not into women? I thought when you smiled at those lesbians who came up to us last week and said they loved you in Fun..."

"I was humoring them! I gave them an autograph, then they left. I'm not... I like guys, Erika."

"That's not a problem. I like guys too. I just also like..."

"But I don't!"

Your kiss made me think otherwise for a second, Erika almost said. Then she shook her head, discarding the idea. Geena warned you about this, she reminded herself. You've role-played the possibility with her and your other girlfriends. You could use the tactics you've developed, but they might not work. You don't want to drive Alicia away. Besides, you've been rejected before and still stayed friends with the girl, right? Try that here.

"I'm really sorry," she sighed. She raised her hand to tap Alicia's shoulder, then dropped it. "I thought you'd be into it. I should have asked you first, I guess."

Alicia nodded, calming down. "It's alright. You just... shocked me. I thought there were no gay Scien..."

"There are," Erika cut off the common misconception. "We just don't get as much press as the people who have problems with homosexuality."

"I see." Alicia choked back a laugh. "I should have expected this. The conversation you and Tom Cruise were having when we met..."

"Right," Erika grinned. "People like him and people like me have had a lot of disagreements."

Alicia laughed. "You'll never stop surprising me, will you?"

"I hope not," Erika said. "Listen, it's okay that you're not into it. I shouldn't have pushed you. Still friends?"

"Of course," Alicia said, putting her hands together. She looked at the door. "I'm just tired after tonight. I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Sure," Erika replied. "See you then." She opened the door and walked out, trying hard not to look back.

***

October 2003. London, England.

That incident set the tone for our whole relationship, Erika thought. From then on we were at a distance. You still talked to me, even discussed your fantasies with me, but you were always too scared to take things further. I told you a lot about the swinging I've done, I even set you up with some of the guys I know who are also into it. No matter what I did, things never worked out. You confessed to considering the idea of women sometimes, and thinking hard about it, maybe even liking it, but things never went farther than that. You wouldn't trust yourself, or me. I always hated that, but I did my best to ignore it and stay friends with you. And eventually, once we met Keri, things paid off.

"You're not feeling guilty about that, are you?" she asked Alicia. "We've more than made up for it. And if it's that you lied to Keri, we can..."

Alicia put a finger to her lips. "I talked to Keri last night, apologized for lying. She'd already guessed. We came to an understanding." The redhead smiled. "When I mentioned our kiss, she told me an interesting theory. Want to hear it?"

"Sure."

"She said I wasn't into you intially because you remind me of the first serious lesbian I acted alongside. Or, correction, the co-star I thought was a serious lesbian. Once I met her, I found out sex was more of a spectacle to her than anything else."

"And it's not that to me," Erika said. We've discussed Madonna's effect on Alicia before, she mused. I personally think she's overreacting a bit, but then I've never met Madonna, so I don't really know. I can see how Keri would see similarities between us, though. We're both blonde, singers as well as actresses, and into religions lots of people find weird. There are plenty of differences, but...

"Keri reminded me more of Renee Humphrey, the first girl I was really close to in a movie," Alicia went on. "Someone who was more of a friend offscreen too. Therefore it was easier for me to get intimate with her. I had never even thought of getting with Renee that way, but..." She laughed. "It sort of makes sense, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Erika agreed. "Look, I'm not mad about you pushing me away in the beginning. I understand why you did. You don't have to apologize to me."

"Thank you," Alicia said. She paused, looking away and then back at Erika. "I do want to know something, though."

Erika reached out and put a hand on her breast, squeezed and stroked it. "Are you wondering whether or not I really like this? Please. You know how I feel about faking."

Alicia grinned at her attention, then pushed the hand away carefully. She took a breath. "I want to know how you got into this, Erika." She gestured at their naked bodies. "Sex with other women, I mean. I've never asked you about it before- I just took your interest in it at face value. I didn't want to risk alienating you- I value our friendship so much."

"You know me better than that," Erika said. She leaned close and kissed Alicia. "So you want to hear about my origin as a bisexual?"

Alicia nodded. "Yes. I know Keri's and Evan's, but not yours. You don't have to tell me about how you first got with guys, I know about that too. It's just..." She sighed. "It was a surprise to me when I found out you also liked women. If I know how it started, and I see enough similarities..."

"You'll feel more comfortable with being into it yourself," Erika guessed. Alicia nodded again in reply. Geez, Erika thought, this is going to be a pretty big story. She took a breath. "Well, it all began with my first starring role."

***

September 2001. Los Angeles, CA.

"You know, I've been thinking..." Deanna Cartwright said nervously, pacing back and forth in the gazebo. Her head wound was particularly bothering her today, as was every aspect of her trauma. Very few people seemed to understand how she felt, or even care enough to visit her in the hospital. The girl I'm talking to now does, she reminded herself, even if she often doesn't act like it. And I have to get the information I need out of her. It's very important. She frowned and began again. "I haven't really seen you around school with boys. Well, I've only really seen you with one boy, and I was wondering about..."

Alicia Browning raised an eyebrow and stood up as Deanna stammered. Her harsh heavily made up features posed a sharp contrast to Deanna's pale unadorned dimples, as did her tall slim body to Deanna's lush one, and her punkish garb to Deanna's more casual clothes. The only obvious similarities between the two of them were that they were about the same age and both had long pale blonde hair. And we're friends, Deanna added. Maybe we weren't before, we barely knew each other, but we're friends now.

She looked at the other girl, smiling and then turning away. "I was wondering about your feelings... how you felt about..."

The Goth girl cut her off, smirking. "How I felt about boys?"

"No!" Deanna replied, grimacing again. "I mean... your feelings towards..." She stopped and took a breath. "I'm asking you something that's really hard for me to ask."

Her companion shrugged and stepped closer to her. "Well, let me, uh, make it easy for you."

"What..." Deanna started to say, but was cut off as the other girl leaned in, grabbed her face, and kissed her hard on the mouth.

Oh my God, Erika Christensen silently gaped, shaking as her co-star's lips attached to hers. She kept her lips closed, surprised by what she felt. The tenderness, the rebellion, the... I like this, she thought as Busy Phillips kept their kiss strong, starting to open her mouth. Suddenly the trilling of a nearby bird caught her attention. Damn it!, Erika remembered the script. Stay in character! She threw up her hands and pushed herself away from Busy, frowning. "What the hell are you doing?!"

Busy threw up her hands. "It sounded like you were asking me if I was into girls!"

"Well, I wasn't!"

Her co-star grinned, looking her up and down. "Which probably means that you're into girls."

"Well, I'm not!" Deanna, the committed virgin, declared. Never mind that I might be, Erika added in a corner of her mind. She wiped at her lips, trying to both savor the experience and get rid of it. "Geez, if you wanted to know, you could have just asked me!"

"Well, you could have just lied!" Busy said. "It was the only way to be sure. But, hey, you didn't kiss me back, so you got nothing to worry about."




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 03



"I guess," Erika fumed. Shut up, she ordered her inner voice. This movie isn't about lesbians, never mind that kiss and all the other overtones. It's about the school shooting in which Busy's character and I were involved, the event that brought us together and its effects on us as well as the rest of our community. I'm supposed to be discussing those effects with her, trying to get information from her about the shooting so Detective van Zandt can know whether or not she was involved. I'm sure she wasn't, but the fact that she knew the perpetrator and walked away uninjured when so many others died...

She grimaced and continued the scene, keeping her own emotions at bay and throwing herself into her role as she always did. Even when Busy exploded with rage, calling her character a "fucking stupid drama queen," Erika reacted as she was supposed to, gesturing in apology and speaking her lines. The meaner her co-star got, the sunnier she tried to be. At the scene's climax, Busy stormed off and she fell to her knees, choking back a sob. "Cut!" Paul Ryan yelled. Erika waited for the camera to click off before looking up in expectation. The director of her latest movie stared back at her for a moment, deep in thought, then nodded. "Print. That was perfect."

Erika smiled. "Really?" She and Busy had been struggling with a lot of their scenes.

"Yes," Paul nodded. "Great reaction to the kiss, Erika. Shock, curiosity, revulsion but keeping the friendship. The audience will love that. And Busy, you're doing well too. If you're planning on putting half the effort into the delivery of your Dawson's Creek lines that you're doing here..." He grinned. "I think you'll give that show the ratings boost it needs."

"Thanks," Busy said, walking back towards Erika from offstage. "So we gonna shoot another scene now or..."

"You two deserve a break," Paul said. "Take an hour, then report to the hospital set. We'll get set up for the morgue scene. I hope you two are ready for that, it's very important. Again, good job on the kiss." He turned away to confer with some of the techs.

Busy sat down beside Erika but did not look at her. She was silent for a moment, then sighed. "Thank God we got that over with, huh?"

Erika blinked. "You mean the kiss?" She'd thought Busy had liked it as much as she had, but from the look on her co-star's face...

"Yeah. We didn't rehearse it. I was worried."

Erika nodded, recalling the conversation Ryan had had with them about the scene their first day of shooting. It was the first lesbian kiss in a movie for both actresses, and Ryan had been concerned they wouldn't want to do it. Busy had given him a long argument about how it seemed gratuitous and unnecessary to the plot. Ryan had countered that it showed how close their characters were getting while still showing the distance between them. It was a good buildup for the later scenes where Busy's character would talk Erika's out of suicide and then later cry at graduation with Deanna running to comfort her as the credits started to crawl. Erika had stayed silent during the discussion. She'd had her own angst about the kiss she didn't want to air.

I've thought about kissing girls for a long time, she mused. I read about it growing up and it intrigued me. As I went through my teenage years, I fantasized about it every now and then. I never could get up the courage to actually try it, though. No one ever asked me. Then, of course, it's supposed to be wrong. I've never thought it was wrong, but I was still scared. Would I like kissing a girl? Would I want to go further? Would she want to? I can do it with guys, that's easy, but with girls... That's why I agreed when Busy proposed we not rehearse the kiss, only our lines. We'd do it for the camera and hopefully get it right then, not worry about it any more than that. I thought this arrangement would preserve the feelings I was supposed to have about the kiss onscreen too. But now...

Erika smiled, looking at Busy. She's pretty, Erika thought, and she's been a good friend despite the differences between us. We have different backgrounds, different careers. She likes the WB's teenage soap operas, especially the really popular one she just got a recurring role in. I prefer the more intriguing down to earth supernatural dramas like Buffy and Felicity, the shows the station is starting to take off the air. Busy's also more uptight than I am, and a bit of a bitch. But I've still become as much friends with her as I have with any of my previous co-stars. So maybe...

"You did good," she told Busy. "I liked it."

Busy gaped. "You..." She shut her mouth, looking away. "That's very nice, Erika."

Erika reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. "Didn't you like it?"

Busy turned back to her and glared. Erika frowned, then dropped her eyes. Busy leaned in and adjusted the bandanna covering the supposed scar on her forehead, and she looked back up. The other girl wore a confused expression. "I have a boyfriend, okay?" she said. "We were acting, that's all it was. Don't think that..."

"I don't," Erika interrupted her with a sigh. "You're not into me, are you?"

"I'm into guys, Erika!" Busy insisted, laughing. She shook her head, looking Erika up and down. "You are pretty, and talented. You're a good friend. But I don't like girls, okay? Kissing you felt... weird."

Erika smiled. "I like weird."

Busy gaped at her, then rolled her eyes. "Well then, more power to you. I'm just glad we got it done."

This film is driving her nuts, Erika mused. Me too. 18-hour shooting days, tight budget, serious committment expected. But it's all worth it. This movie has so much meaning, so many great messages and themes. It's an independent film about a controversial subject, so it's not going to get much distribution, but it's still going to be very good. Too bad its release will probably be delayed thanks to what happened last week. Stupid terrorists. Stupider idiots who indulge in the sort of censorship the terrorists do their dirty deeds in part to promote. I really hope we get those bastards good and fast. The victims deserve nothing less. Then we'll be able to get back to our lives and put out all the good movies that are being pushed back thanks to the event. We need to do that, instead of spending a lot of time whining about the event and why it happened. It happened, nothing can change that. Let's go get the bastards and move on. She sighed, wondering if she was having such thoughts because of the ending of her current film.

"See you in a while," Busy said, standing up. "I gotta hit the restroom."

"See you," Erika said, looking away. I'm really going nuts right now, she thought. And all because of this film. I'm really putting myself into this role, giving it so much of my own pain, and I'm afraid it won't be liked or seen when it should be. Then of course there's all the flack people have been giving me about the character. You shouldn't do this role, they say. Deanna has mental problems, and talks to psychiatrists. What the heck is wrong with that? I'm showing people what real-life shooting victims go through by playing Deanna. Post-traumatic stress disorder is not a myth, it's very real and very serious. And psychiatrists can help people with it and similar problems- the victims I talked to about this movie showed me how. This role is an incredible challenge to me, and important too. I have to play it. I have to show the critics I can do more than just a wholesome schoolgirl or a drug addict, and show the fans that I'm not the sort of bland blonde It Girl some think I am. That, and of course by being in this film I can show people I'm not all about Scientology. So many people think I am, just because of my upbringing. They need to see that I support other values too, that I'm really more into acting, charity, and rebellion than any religious stuff. Yeah, I'm moral, don't get me wrong, but...

It's your swinging, Erika told herself with a sigh. You got into it to work out your personal problems with loneliness, but you haven't been able to do it in so long. You got afraid you were getting too much into it, decided to cut back. You also told your family a little about what you'd been doing, tried to alleviate any possible problems that might result if they discovered it. They cautioned you, made you feel guilty even though they didn't say to stop doing it. Then you got this role, and so many people started grumbling about it. On top of that, there's the film's schedule, and the delays, and... I just can't relax with all this. It needs to go well. It has to. If it doesn't...

Shut up, she told her inner voice. This movie is great! Once it comes out, the fans and critics will see it and like it. Even the people in Columbine to whom it's dedicated will like it, hopefully. You won't have to worry so much, you'll be proud of what you did. And who cares if your religion's more traditional followers are giving you flack about the person you are? They don't know what's true for you, they never really can no matter how much they say. You have to find and live your own destiny, you've always known that. You're doing what's meaningful to you, what's fun and right. You should stop worrying, like Isaac keeps telling you. Just live your life. Relax, grow, and be happy. Your life hasn't been that bad, you really should be able to. But I can't, she sighed, looking at the ground.

A voice caught her attention. "What's the matter?"

Erika looked up to see her other co-star in the film standing beside her. Victor Garber was frowning, though he was well-dressed and patrician as always. Victor's become a good friend to me, Erika recalled. Prior to this film we never saw each other in anything, but we bonded quickly once we started working together. We got close for our roles, as we had to be- he's Detective van Zandt. He's also been involved in acting for a long time, and given me a lot of advice on it. He's big on building relationships and working hard on characterization, like me. We both like to go for diversity and challenge. He's also been telling me about this spy show he has that's coming out this fall. It sounds great. JJ Abrams, one of my favorite WB writers, created it. Victor's going to star in it, and lots of other good actors too. I'm surprised they're not delaying its premiere because of what happened last week, but I'm glad. I can hardly wait to sit down and watch.

"It's nothing," she told Victor with a shrug. "Just thinking about my life."

Victor nodded in understanding. "There's a lot going on, isn't there? Listen, Erika, I heard you and Busy talking just now and I..." He paused. "I probably don't need to be saying this, but you have nothing to worry about. It's okay if you like kissing girls."

Erika grinned. He thinks I'm thinking about that, she chuckled to herself. Was I? No, I guess I was trying not to. I wonder why. I liked it so much, but... "I know it's okay," she said. "I don't have a problem with it. I've just never done it before, and it felt good, so..." She waved her hand. "Busy said it was just acting- she's right. I shouldn't get into it. This film will be over soon."

"Right, and if you get caught up in a moment, you'll get in trouble. The mission is what matters, Erika. You can't let anything distract you. Right now our mission is to finish this film."

"Yeah," she agreed. Then she sighed, emotion coming back into her mind. "Still, though..." Talk to him, Erika told herself. You and Victor have discussed Hollywood life a lot, and dating in particular. He's been active on the acting and dating scenes for years, never scored that big in either, but his experience has been beneficial to you. He's become as much a source of wisdom as your usual confessors who you're cut off from right now thanks to this film. You have to get your feelings out, and he's here. Talk to him. "Victor, can I tell you about something private?"

"Of course," he said, looking around and nodding when he saw no one was paying them much attention. "What is it?"

"Well, you know how I'm breaking out in the public eye right now, but my career's still pretty slow?" Victor nodded, and Erika continued. "It was causing me frustration, and, well, until this film, I was getting out that frustration by dating a lot of different guys. I got into some pretty serious relationships. I'm trying to keep it secret for obvious reasons."

Victor frowned. "I see." He sat down and looked at Erika, his expression distant but interested.

"I've stopped dating for a while because of this film," Erika went on. "And now, given what I just did... it's got me curious. I've never kissed a girl before. I've thought about it a lot, and read about it, and seen movies, but... no one's ever asked me, and I haven't been able to get up the nerve to try. I didn't know if I'd like it or not. Now I know I do, and... I'm just not sure what to do next."

Victor thought about her words for a second before replying. "My advice is to forget it. We have a film to finish."

"I know, but afterwards..." Erika sighed. "I have a few friends I could talk to about this, but I'm not sure any of them would understand. I grew up mostly alone, and I don't really have any regular girlfriends." I could talk to Isaac about this, she thought, or Dean, or one of the other people I usually chat with about sex, but would they really be able to get what I'm feeling? I don't know.

Victor nodded again. "I see. Well, what about someone in your family or..." He frowned, looking away. Then he turned back to Erika. "You'd want to talk to someone who felt like you do right now at an age close to what you are now, right? Someone who has experience with similar feelings and might be able to shed some insights?"

"Yeah." Erika frowned. "I don't really know any lesbians, though, or bisexuals." Except Kelly, she added to herself. But I'm not sure I want to go to her about this. We have too many issues between us right now with this film, and the fact that her career and John's are still in turmoil. John might be a problem too. They both would probably be willing to talk to me about this, but would I want to listen? No, I think not.

"Well, you know Geena Davis..."

Erika blinked, turning back to Victor. "Geena?" She had acted in a small recurring role on a TV show starring Geena Davis last spring. Geena had been a brief acting mentor to her. She has the sort of career I want, Erika remembered, not too big but popular and always memorable. Most of her projects bomb, but she never lets it bother her that much. She concentrates on enjoying what she gets and doing it well as long as she can. She was a real inspiration to me, still is. She also gave me a lot of good career advice, like Victor has. But I never thought she was...

"You didn't know, did you?" Victor asked, reading her face.

"No," Erika said. "I knew Geena was in a lot of sexy movies back in the '80s, but..."

"She grew up in Sweden. They're a lot more liberal over there." Victor frowned. "I'm sorry to be telling you this. It was a surprise to me too. I dated her briefly after she divorced Jeff Goldblum and she told me. I was shocked at first, but then... well, it's not a big deal."

Geena's been married three times, Erika thought, and has stayed good friends with her exes. She's long been active in acting and modeling, and her character on our TV drama was supposed to have been a swinging single once upon a time. Geena often flashes more skin on the red carpet and in media appearances than many women do in the privacy of their own homes. I should have read the signs. But I didn't think she was bisexual. I guess she was keeping it secret, hiding like all celebrity swingers have to. And of course we never really talked about sex or dating that much offscreen. I didn't know her well outside the job.

"If you talked to her about your feelings, she might be able to give you the advice you're looking for. I know you respect her. If you'd prefer someone closer to your age, I can introduce you to Merrin or Jennifer."

Erika blinked again. Is he saying the female leads on his show Alias are...? No, she shook her head. I don't know them. I don't want to discuss this with people I don't know. She grimaced and made a decision. "Victor, thanks, but..." Erika waved her hand. "It's like you said. I can't think about this right now. We have a film to finish. Priorities."

Victor nodded. "I was only trying to help. If you ever want to talk more, I'm here."

I know you are, Erika thought. And I know you'll keep this conversation secret, as will I. You're a good nonsexual friend to me, Victor, like Isaac. If either of you were twenty years younger... She smiled. "Thank you. Let's get back to our film, Detective." With that, Erika stood up and started walking towards the hospital set.

***

October 2003. London, England.

Alicia shook her head. "You're setting the mood again, right? Telling me all that instead of just..."

Erika rolled her eyes. "It's not all about the sex, Alicia. If you don't get the emotions right first, and pay attention to the small details..."

"I know!" the redhead interrupted. "Cut to the important part, okay? What happened next?"

Erika grinned, guessing the problem. She began to rub Alicia's body as she spoke, alternating caresses across her thighs and stomach with tweaks of her hard nipples. "I finished filming Homeroom. Busy and I stayed friends, but we never talked about the kiss again. Victor and I discussed my feelings about it more, but no progress was made. I kept things inside, until the movie was done. I did still think about other girls, though. Then, after the filming was over, I talked to Isaac about what to do next, and Dean, and they both gave me the same advice as always. 'Do what seems right to you, believe in yourself, blah blah blah.' They offered to introduce me to women they knew who were into the same things I thought I was, but..." Alicia gasped as Erika pressed a spot just above her clit, and Erika laughed. "Same problem as before. I didn't know the women in question, and wasn't sure I wanted to talk to them about something like this."

Alicia nodded, brushing Erika's hands away with a smile. "So..."

Erika kissed the other girl, then resumed her story. "I decided to try Victor's suggestion out."

***

October 2001. Los Angeles, CA.

Geena Davis blinked, staring at Erika. "Victor told you that I'm..." The tall brunette frowned. She picked up her wine glass and took a sip. 

Sitting across from her mentor in the restaurant, her blonde curls still styled short from the end of Homeroom, Erika grimaced in reply. I should have expected her to be this shocked, she thought. The lifestyle is never an easy subject, even in a place this empty on an evening this quiet. That, and Geena recently married an Iranian. I didn't even know she was dating one until she told me just now. Did she give up the lifestyle because of him? Maybe. I better try to calm her down.

"Relax," Erika said. "He just thought I needed someone to talk to about my feelings, and that you'd be good."

Geena took another drink, then put down her glass. "I'm old enough to be your mother, Erika."

"But you're not my mother. I can't talk to my mother about this." Erika gasped, realizing what Geena thought she had in mind. "Geena, whoa. I'm not expecting you to do it with me or anything like that. I'm not even sure if I'm really into sex with other women. I just want advice from someone I trust. Someone who understands, who isn't a man, who's gone through it. I understand if you're no longer in the lifestyle because of your new husband. I just..."

Geena interrupted her with a wave. "The lifestyle is how Reza and I met," she said, choking off a laugh. "Of course I'm still into it."

"Oh." Erika blushed.

Geena blushed back, pausing and then speaking again. "Erika, you'll have to forgive me. You caught me by surprise. I didn't know you were in the lifestyle. I also haven't been with anyone your age since I was your age and... I guess I forgot how it felt, first starting out. I'm not sure what to say to you."




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 03



"Well, you're smart, and you have experience and..."

"Yes, I know." Geena looked at her glass, then Erika, thinking. The light in the room flickered off her glossy reddish brown hair. "When I first got involved in the lifestyle, I was young, and it was the sexual revolution. It was a lot easier to get involved then than it is now. I was interested, but fearful. You're feeling the same way, right?"

"Yeah. I'm that way all the time. When I talk to Isaac about it, he tells me to just calm down and have fun. I've been doing that. With this, though... It's so different, Geena."

Geena nodded. "I felt that way in the beginning too. It held me back a lot. Then when I got into modeling, and acting, the feelings started to fade. They've never gone away entirely, but... Erika, my best advice to you on the lifestyle is to take things slowly and carefully. Enjoy yourself, but remember to take precautions and think over what you're going through. You also should research it some. There are plenty of books out there on..."

"I know. I've looked at a lot of them. But I'm not sure how they apply in reality. They seem accurate, but... I figured I would ask you what I should do."

Geena smiled. "The books didn't really resolve anything for me either. I kept coming back to the fact that I had never done the things they were talking about. Finally I talked to one of my best friends, found out she was curious and interested too, and we helped each other out. It was awkward at first. Then it got better."

Erika beamed. "That's how my first time happened."

Geena gave her another look of understanding. "That's how it always is with sex. You worry about it a lot, then you do it, and..." The older woman shrugged. "Erika, I think I know your main problem. You prepare for things too much. You think about the possibilities, ask others for advice, research, and so on, when you really should just be doing what you want to do. That's how people learn best- through action. If you keep worrying and don't act, you stay shut off."

"I know," Erika said, putting her hands on the table. "I just have so many doubts. I... I tried talking to Busy about this after we kissed. It didn't go well."

"I'm sorry." Geena looked her up and down, saying nothing for a long moment. Finally she nodded deliberately and leaned close. "Are you comfortable with your feelings, Erika? Are you sure you want to try being with another woman? Because if you are sure..." She took Erika's hand in hers.

Erika stared at the look on her face. "Are you saying..."

"Yes," Geena said, her lips tight. "If you really want to see what it's like..."

"I do!" Erika said. She had thought about this so much, she could not walk away from it. And Geena's beautiful, she reminded herself, and she knows what to do. She's also trustworthy. Therefore... "Do you want to do it tonight or..."

Geena shook her head, but kept her hand on Erika's. "It's a little late. I also have to arrange some things." She paused again, then nodded. "Be at the Red Roof motel on East Rodeo, tomorrow evening around eight. And Erika?"

"Yes?"

"I hope you're really prepared. Because what I'm going to show you..." Geena smiled and stood up. "See you soon." 

Erika gaped as she watched the other actress turn and leave. Geena looked back at her one last time as she reached the door, her face carrying all her words. Whoa, Erika thought, shaking her head clear and reaching for her lemonade.

***

October 2003. London, England.

"Did you go?" Alicia asked excitedly, staring at Erika. "Did you..."

Erika put a finger to her lips, then dropped it, smiling again. "Of course I went. I thought about it more first, though. I took a long walk, went over it in my head, decided it was really what I wanted. Then, when I was sure..." She kissed Alicia hard, licking at the redhead's tongue with her own before moving away. "I took the plunge."

***

October 2001. Los Angeles, CA.

"The first lesson," Geena Davis said, pacing back and forth in front of Erika, "is confidence."

"Confidence," Erika repeated, adjusting the posture she sat in on the motel bed. Geena had motioned her to sit down as soon as she walked in and then began what looked to be a lecture. She was wearing a long blue cotton robe that framed her body but was bound tightly to hide what lay beneath. Erika was feeling awkward, dressed casually as she was in a gray cashmere sweater and pleated skirt of navy wool. Geena continued to pace, her stride measured and full of purpose. Her dark eyes stayed locked on Erika, who frowned.

"Yes, confidence," Geena said, stopping in front of her. She put her hands on her hips. "You have to be comfortable with doing this, Erika. As comfortable as you are with men. Remember, it may seem to mean a lot on the surface that you're into it, but it's really nothing big. It doesn't mean you're not into men. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. It's just another way to have fun and make love. I wasn't fully comfortable with it until I saw it as that."

Erika nodded in understanding. "But..."

"Stop." Geena held up her palm. "Just listen, okay? I want to give you an experience that will show you what there is to like about this. Then I will let you judge it for yourself. It is completely up to you whether you want to continue things or not."

"Okay," Erika said. Geena's being respectful and cautious, she thought. She's unsure whether I'll like this. I'm still a bit unsure about it too. Best if I don't take things too seriously, Geena seems to be telling me. I can agree with that. She calmed her expression and kept her eyes on the older woman, patiently anticipating what would come next.

Geena paused, then resumed her speech. "You've had sex before, and you're already into the lifestyle. That's good. Now you're looking to expand your horizons. To do that you will need..." She smiled and dropped her hands to her robe's sash. "Confidence." 

Erika gasped as Geena unbound the sash in one quick motion, then flung the robe off her shoulders and let it slide to the floor. Her naked body was revealed, large dark nipples standing at attention. Erika closed her mouth and looked over its slopes and curves. Wow, she thought. So much like mine, and yet so different. Geena's taller than me, a lot taller. She's also older, and more experienced. I can see in her body the evidence of that Olympic training she underwent a while back, and the effects of those great action films she did in the '90s. Her legs are so long. I've never looked at another naked woman close up like this before. Sure, I've seen them, but not in this sort of situation.

Geena turned around slowly, giving Erika frequent looks. She kept her eyes steady and face warm. Erika eyed the muscles of her back, the tone of her skin, and the dark brown bush of curls between her legs. Beautiful, she thought. I've looked at naked women before, thought about them. This situation is different, though. Soon I may be touching her, and she'll be touching me. And then...

She stopped her train of thought, feeling Geena's eyes on her face. Her mentor smiled wider and made a gesture of expectation. Erika blinked, nodded, and stood up. She kicked her shoes off one at a time, still looking at Geena. Afterwards she proceeded to discard the rest of her clothes- skirt, sweater, socks, and underwear. Geena watched her all throughout, nodding now and then. I wonder if she likes my body, Erika thought. I've never met a guy who has a problem with it. Women, though, they're more evaluating. It's so much easier to get worried around them. Especially in something like this. She turned as Geena had done, her expression tight with questioning eyes.

"You look good," Geena said. She put a hand on Erika's shoulder. "Now for the second lesson. Feeling." She leaned down, moved closer, and kissed Erika's lips.

All the emotion Erika had felt from Busy's kiss onscreen flooded into her, only now it was more. Hope, promise, and satisfaction. Surprise also, and joy. You don't have to work to a script here, Erika told herself. No expectations. She smiled, then frowned again as Geena broke the tender kiss and stepped back.

"Did you like that?" she asked Erika.

"Yeah," Erika whispered, afraid to trust her voice. Her heart was pounding heavily, juices welling up in her loins like never before. The tension of the moment was still constricting her, though. "I..."

"Quiet." Geena put her hand on Erika's cheek and caressed it lightly. "Let's do it again." She kissed Erika once more, opening her mouth this time and breathing against the younger woman. Erika parted her lips and returned the breath, extending her tongue. Geena's tongue came up to meet it, stroking back and forth along Erika's teeth. Her hand on Erika's cheek meanwhile slid behind the younger girl's head, tangled in her hair. Her other hand dropped to Erika's shoulder and tightly squeezed her arm. Erika gasped, returning the kiss with slowly building happiness. I like this, she thought. It's so soft and warm. I want more of it. I...

Geena pulled away from her again, nodding. "Alright. Now you kiss me."

Erika hesitated for an instant, then put her hands on Geena's cheeks. She pulled the other woman close and kissed her lips, grimacing as she felt something shift inside her. I like this, she reminded herself, trying to impart that into the kiss. Geena shook her head, moving back.

"No, Erika," she said. "I'm not your relative. I'm your lover. You have to put more feeling into it when you kiss me. Show me how you would like to be kissed." She squeezed Erika's shoulder again. "If it helps you, pretend this is a role. You're on stage doing what you enjoy, only no one but me is watching. Get into it, then let yourself go."

Right, Erika thought. Just like I always do in sex. She took hold of Geena's cheeks once more and gave her another kiss, this time giving in to the bold impulses lurking in her mind. Her tongue pressed against her mentor's lips and Geena eagerly admitted it. Their fingers moved across each other's faces and hair, stroking and pressing gently. Just as Erika's hands fell to her shoulders, Geena broke the kiss and smiled. Her hands dropped to Erika's and held them in place.

"Better," she said. "You should always begin this with a kiss, Erika. A touch is also good, but it can be misinterpreted. You want to show your lovers exactly what you want from them. That way there's less worry." She took a breath, looking over Erika's body. "You have to be careful, though. Not every woman you meet is going to be into this, and many who are will probably deny it at first."

Erika nodded. I saw that with Busy, she remembered. Maybe. She didn't want to think about that now, though. "What next?" she asked, shifting her hands. "Do you want me to touch you or..."

"Listen to me," Geena said, raising her palm. "You're unsure what to do here- I understand that. Remember that every woman's body is somewhat alike. You know your own body already. You know how to make it feel good. Touching a similar body, arousing the same feelings, should come very easily. That's one reason a lot of women who get into this stop loving men- they find women simpler."

"But I still like men," Erika frowned.

"And that's fine. If you decide to stop liking men, that's fine too. It's your decision. Just be sure not to criticize the way someone acts and then act the same way yourself."

Good advice, Erika thought. I've seen that in play a lot in my life, especially recently. So many people think they know it all. But they've never walked in anyone else's shoes, and they don't want to. Why? Never mind. I'm not going to let that be my problem.

"Keep your mind open and flowing. Never be afraid to change it. You can adapt to anything if you just relax."

"Be like water," Erika said. "Fill your shape."

"Yes," Geena replied, smiling at her. "Build your style, and respond to that of others. Through relationships you will grow. Observe." She leaned in and kissed Erika again. Erika kissed her back once more. Keep this up, she silently begged. I like it so much. Her lips and tongue moved against Geena's, her hands stroking her mentor's. The older woman returned the gestures, then stepped back. "Okay. Now lie down on the bed and close your eyes."

Erika frowned, but obeyed. She moved away from Geena, falling onto her back and letting herself go still. Her every nerve was pounding with trepidation, but she pushed it all away. Remember your meditation, she told herself. Concentrate on your feelings, then drop them. Flow into awareness. Live.

"That's right," Geena said as she began breathing more easily. "Just relax. Think about how I'm making you feel."

Erika sensed a change in the air, something moving closer. A soft hand touched her cheek, slowly headed downwards along her face. It lingered on the cleft of her neck, stroking. Then she felt it against her chest, and another hand joining in, touching her right knee. Both hands caressed, moving towards and skirting her most sensitive areas but not directly touching them. A gradual feeling of pleasure formed within Erika, and she let it slide around her, body tingling. Her own hands started to rise, but Geena stopped them, moving quickly and grabbing her wrists. "Wait." Erika nodded and lay back down. The hands returned to her chest and thigh, resumed their movements. Erika let out a moan.

The bed shifted beneath her, and Erika smiled, sensing Geena nearby. The older woman's left hand touched the valley between her breasts, moved in circles and lines on her torso. Her fingers flicked Erika's navel, then moved left and right, gliding along her sides. Erika moaned again, trying to command herself to settle down. This is nothing, she thought. Geena said it was nothing. And yet it's so good, so... "Ahhh!!" she gasped as Geena's right hand moved swiftly up her thigh.

Her eyes opened, and she saw Geena looming over her. A wide grin was on her lips. "Good," she said. She kissed Erika, then looked back and forth at their bodies. She jerked her head towards the mirror on the far wall.

Erika looked that way and smiled. They were both flushed pink, agitated and aroused. She grinned at their image, turning back to Geena. "I think I..."

"Wait," Geena repeated, putting a hand to her breast. "Relax. Don't move."

Her hands began moving rapidly at Erika's nod. Geena pulled at Erika's nipples with the left, twitching her thumbs at their points. Her right hand came up higher, two of its fingers tapping at Erika's cunt. Erika gasped and opened her legs, settling into the sensations. "Ah!" she moaned as Geena's fingers entered her. "Yes! Please. I..."

"Quiet."

Erika closed her mouth, smiling again. Sorry, she flashed with her eyes. It's just that... The thought was lost as Geena resumed stroking her, harder now. A third finger entered Erika's snatch and they moved up within her, concentrating on the outer lips and then going inwards. Geena's hand on her nipples increased its rhythm as well. Erika gasped and Geena kissed her, silencing it. Erika breathed into her, but kept her hands still, her emotions overwhelming her. Her inner juices were flowing, crashing, and...

"Yes!!!" she screamed into Geena's mouth, her body going wild. She shook rapidly against her mentor's hands and the bed, her hands grasping tight at the sheets. The orgasm hit her hard, then quickly subsided. Geena's tongue thrust into her mouth as it did so, and Erika licked at it before slowly pulling away. "Wow," she said.

Geena gave her a knowing look. She took her hand out of Erika's cunt and touched it to her lips. Erika grinned back and licked at her own essence, the sweet taste flooding her mind. She turned onto her side and started to move her hands towards Geena. The older woman pushed her down. "Not yet."

"But I..."

"Wait," Geena said, a finger touching Erika's mouth. "You need to feel this now." She kissed Erika's lips and pushed her against the bed. Erika complied, again rolling onto her back. Geena moved up and over her, her knees on either side of Erika's waist. Erika gasped, feeling the other woman's closeness and heat. Geena's mouth began traveling down, a slow journey over her throat and then her chest. Erika sighed as Geena's lips touched her nipples, her tongue flicking at them. Her hands took hold of Erika's thighs, keeping them steady and in place.

For a moment her mouth lingered on each of Erika's breasts. Then it moved farther down, tongue trailing over her stomach. Erika felt Geena's body and hard nipples pressing into her as well, and her excitement increased. I feel something rising again, she thought. Any second now. The way this is going... "Yes," she softly breathed as Geena's tongue licked over her waist and jabbed straight into her core.

Her mentor's tongue was still for a second before coming alive. It lashed rapidly against the sides of Erika's cunt, then moved up, touching her clit and stroking it. Geena's hands joined in, moving towards Erika's snatch and pushing it farther open. Both her index fingers curled over the lips of her cunt, held them apart as she licked. Erika gasped and shook, her fingers again tangling in the sheets. Her entire body started to vibrate once more, and she let herself enjoy it. I'm calmer this time, though, she told herself. Her head tumbled back and forth on the sheets, a silent scream echoing through the room.

Geena licked her all through the orgasm, breathing into Erika and lapping down her essence. Finally she stopped, letting out a sigh. "Okay. I think you're ready for what's next." She turned her body and pressed her cunt towards Erika's lips. "You can touch me now. Remember- show me how you like to be touched."

I can do that, Erika decided. She put her hands on Geena's thighs and began rubbing. She listened carefully to the other woman's sighs and watched her face, looking for the right reaction. Geena soon gave it to her, smiling as Erika found her most sensitive nerves. Good, Erika thought, stroking them. Now to... She leaned in and kissed Geena's cunt, taking in its heat and texture. Nice, Erika judged, opening her mouth. A little salty, but sweet. I could get used to this. She extended her tongue and started licking, slowly establishing a rhythm.

"Ahh..." Geena gasped, her hands moving to Erika's back. They stroked along her lower nerves, rubbing at her waist. Erika moved her own hands along Geena's thighs in counterpoint, lapping at her clit. She varied her motions a bit, putting feeling into them as Geena had described. It was challenging at first, and then she got into it. She's warm, like I am, Erika thought. And wet. This is so amazing. I know I'll keep doing it. I will never stop. She captured Geena's clit with her tongue and sucked it into her mouth. I will never...

Geena shook and moaned suddenly, her juices flowing out and into Erika's mouth. Erika smiled and sucked them down, licking harder and faster. Geena shivered again, but put up a hand to stop Erika's caresses. "Hold off," she said. "Let me..." She took a breath, calming as Erika moved away. "You're doing well."

"I am?" Erika asked, still a bit nervous.

Geena nodded. "I have much to teach you yet, though. It will have to be infrequent, and secret. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Erika said. Geena has her life and I have mine, she reflected. This is not a committment, it's just an awakening. A friendship taken to a higher level, a better exchange of knowledge and entertainment. No more or less than that. "Just keep teaching me, okay? We'll figure out the rest as we go along." She smiled and kissed the other woman's lips.

***

October 2003. London, England.

"Your first time sounds like it was good," Alicia said.

Erika grinned. "Yours wasn't?"

"Well, it was, but..." Alicia frowned, looking at her flushed skin. "Erika, I..."




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 03



Erika cut her off with a kiss, sensing the moment. Alicia sighed and kissed back. They traded tongues and breaths as their hands began to roam over each other's flesh. Erika rubbed at Alicia's breasts, pinching the firm pink nipples. The other girl's fingers touched hers, moved them down. I turned you on a lot just now, I guess, Erika thought. You want a quick reward. I can do that.

She twisted her wrists away from Alicia's grip, rolled the redhead onto her back. Erika then proceeded to kiss her way down her friend's torso, lingering on the sensitive points she knew so well. Alicia gasped and dropped her hands, body shaking. Erika sucked at her nipples, took them between her teeth. One tap at each with her tongue, and she moved on. Her tongue caressed the valley that seperated Alicia's breasts, swept down across her navel, and then hesitated only a second before leaping into the peach curls on her thighs. Alicia moaned, opened her legs. Erika's hands clenched her thighs and gave aid, squeezing gentle but insistent. Alicia's own hands dropped to Erika's shoulders, clenched them, and stroked upwards through her hair. "Yes..." Alicia declared. "I like that! I... ahh!!!"

Erika jabbed her tongue at her friend's clit, coaxed it to attention. Then she circled it carefully, sucked it as she had Geena's on that long ago day. I've wanted to do this to you for so long, I waited so long, and now... She grinned in ecstasy as a torrent of Alicia's juice gushed into her mouth. She drank it in, her own emotions flaring a bit. Afterwards, she moved back up, pressing her body against Alicia's. Her friend gasped and twitched, her lips touching Erika's for a long instant before moving away.

"Thank you," she said slowly. "I..."

"No problem." Erika raised a hand, stroked her lips and chin. Then she kissed Alicia's forehead. "But I'm not done with the story yet."

Alicia's eyebrows shot up. "There's more?" She shrugged. "Alright, go ahead. What happened next?"

"Geena taught me a lot," Erika replied. "Everything she knew about pleasing women. All the things I've been doing with you recently, and more. But we were never exclusive."

"You couldn't have been. She was married, and thirty years older than you."

"I knew that. But I let myself disregard it. What she was doing to me was so wonderful and..." Erika sighed. "I took breaks now and then- masturbated, went back to guys. It was just as good, but not quite the same. I was getting more into sex than ever before, and I was so devoted to Geena that... I kept going back to her, not looking for anything else. That was my mistake. Isaac gave me advice again when we discussed the issue. He told me something Sharon Stone told him. Geena agreed. 'If you meet the Buddha, you must kill the Buddha.'"

Alicia grimaced. "What does that mean?"

"It means even if you get the most inspiring teacher, you can't stay with them. No one has all the answers. All things must end. You don't have to really kill the Buddha, but... you do have to kill your attachement to him. You have to move on."

"You told Geena this, right? And she agreed. So you broke up."

"No, not completely. We agreed to still see each other on occasion. But our lives had to seperate. We both agreed on that. Then Geena decided to take a break from acting. I meanwhile, had to get back into it. Dean gave me the script for Swimfan, and I liked it. Then I heard Susan Sarandon and Goldie Hawn had this film they were making about swinging groupies turned desperate housewives, and I wanted to be in that too."

"Banger Sisters, right?"

Erika nodded. "They were close to starting filming. I needed to move fast. Fortunately Geena was there to help me. She introduced me to Susan, and she'd liked me in Traffic, so she put in a good word. Then a few weeks later I proved myself to Bob Dolman, and..."

"I know. You've told me about all that before, and I saw the movie." Alicia paused for a second. "Susan Sarandon is in the same lifestyle as you, isn't she? I can believe it, with how long she's been active in liberal politics, and all the children she's had out of wedlock. You're going to tell me Geena was her lover, right? Thelma and Louise?"

Erika grinned. "Yeah. Susan's very monogamous, but still sleeps around now and then. She likes to challenge herself, and live carefree. She and Goldie were the most experienced swingers Geena knew, and the most committed, so she thought I should spend time with them. She wanted me to really relax into the lifestyle but still learn to be aware of and manage the possible issues. Obsession, AIDS, and so on. Susan and Goldie grew up during the sexual revolution in America, and were both still into it despite time and change. I could trust them, learn from their experience."

"Don't tell me you and the two of them..."

"No, Alicia," Erika shook her head. "I do have limits. They're way older than me, even more than Victor and Isaac. I've watched them, and talked to them about sex, but it's gone no further. I'm pretty sure it never will."

Alicia sighed in relief. "Sorry. I know it's up to you what partners you choose, but..." She shivered, then paused. "Wait a minute. They both have daughters about your age. Did you and they..."

Erika smirked. "Goldie's, yes. Susan's, no. Eva knows about the lifestyle, but she's a little more conservative than her mom. She's also Evan's age, so..."

"I understand," Alicia said. "She's still figuring things out. And she isn't that active an actress."

"Right. Great potential, but still developing." Erika smiled, rubbing Alicia's breast. "When you rejected me way back when, it was partly okay because I had other girlfriends my age I got with regularly. I met two of them, Kate and Sarah, through Goldie."

"Were they the first girls you got with your age?"

"No," Erika said, grinning again. "Susan and Goldie told me I needed to test myself somehow, shake my limits and open my mind, if I was to fully embrace the lifestyle. Geena and Isaac agreed. So we decided I would do the same thing I did when I first got into swinging. This time, though, I had to improvise a little more."

***

November 2001. Los Angeles, CA.

"Ten bucks," the big mohawked woman said, light playing off her black leather vest as she extended her hand. "Hey, by the way, you look like..."

"I'm someone else," Erika interrupted, passing the bouncer her requested cover. She wasn't sure she wanted to be recognized in a place like she was about to enter. A place I've never been, she reminded herself. A place that scares me greatly, even though I've known about it for a long time. I hope Kelly's not here tonight, or if she is...

"Welcome to Sapphic Rock," the bouncer said. "Have a good time." She stepped aside, and Erika entered the lesbian club through the beaded curtain blocking her way. Two other women shoved past Erika as she did so, neither even looking at her. Geez, Erika thought. So rude! Don't they know how I'm... They don't know me, she remembered, and I probably wouldn't want to know them either. Never mind.

She looked around the club, frowning nervously at its strange decor and flashing lights. Exotic theme, she noted. Beads, lots of plants, pink and green colors all over. It feels like a jungle in here. And there are the dangerous animals, staring back at me. Some of them look so weird. Why is that woman dressed in a man's suit? Why's she looking at me like that? That fat woman with all the tattoos and body piercings next to her is disturbing me too. I know there are lesbians like these women, but I think I'll avoid them. They just bother me too much.

Okay, good, she thought, eyeing more of the club's occupants. Those women seem to be only a strangely visible minority, like Susan said. I can relax. But there are so many others. So many choices... Erika turned her attention to the club's music, hoping it would help settle her down.

"I know you're confused, I know that you're shaking. You think that you're lost, once we begin..."

Erika smiled, recognizing the song. Melissa Etheridge, she thought. A popular lesbian celebrity I've always liked. Great inspiring woman. "I wanna come over," she sang along softly, scanning the dance floor. "To hell with the consequence..."

A dozen different women were smiling in her direction. None seemed to be looking at her, though, or if they were, they quickly turned away. Maybe they know somehow I'm a first timer, Erika thought. They want me to make the first move. Who should I pick? That blonde woman in the cowboy hat looks nice, and so does that darkhaired girl in the dress, but neither seems right. I... She looked each woman up and down, but neither returned the gesture. Never mind, Erika sighed to herself. This isn't going to work. I can't do it. It's too awkward. If there was only someone I knew here, someone I could... wait a second, is that...?

Her gaze locked on a young woman sitting alone at the bar, back towards Erika. She was casually dressed in jeans and a white pullover, garb similar to the khakis and blue sweatshirt Erika wore. Short brown hair with a honey-colored tinge crowned her head, and her gray eyes gleamed as she looked down into her half-empty glass of wine.

It is her! Erika gasped, staring hard at the woman. She smiled, recognizing the familiar figure she'd seen on so many calendars and magazine covers. I've seen a few of her films too, and of course that show about aliens she was on that the WB cancelled last season. I've been catching episodes on UPN, just like with Buffy. She plays my favorite character. I've thought about her before a few times, fantasized... I've never met her, though. I wonder why she's alone tonight. Don't these people know who she is? Who's among them? I... Erika laughed and walked towards the woman, spying her opportunity. As she got closer, her inhibitions began to disappear one by one. 

Reaching the woman's side, she tapped her on the shoulder. "Katherine Heigl, I presume?"

Her fellow actress turned, eyes widening. Then she blushed and nodded. "Yes. And you're Julia Stiles."

Not again, Erika grimaced. That happens so much, especially lately. I really need to meet that girl, agree on some varying hairstyles or something. We have the same agent, so it should be easy. But of course, that's not important right now. "Erika Christensen," she corrected Katherine, reversing her frown. "You know, from Traffic?"

"Oh," Katherine said, looking her over and nodding. "Right. I'm sorry. I..."

"It's okay," Erika replied, wondering how to begin. "I've seen you in Roswell. You're really good."

"Thanks." Katherine smiled. "I liked your film too. Um, what are you doing here?"

Erika paused, then gave her a knowing look. "What are you doing here?"

Katherine paused at the line, then shrugged. "Well, I was feeling down, and..." She gestured around the club. "I decided to go out and look for someone new."

Erika grinned and stepped closer. "You've found someone. That is, if you're interested."

"I..." Katherine looked her over again and shrugged. "Okay. But I need to get to know you."

"No problem," Erika said. "You want to get out of here?"

Katherine looked around the club and nodded. "Yes. Definitely yes." She grinned, stood up, and took Erika's offered hand. "Let's go."

***

"So you too were looking to feed the beast," Katherine chuckled as she drove, glancing at Erika. "That's why you were in there."

"Watch the road," Erika reminded her, smiling. "What do you mean, feed the beast?"

"Lust," Katherine said. "That's what I call it. The beast. I've had to deal with it all my life. Sometimes it directs me to men, sometimes women..."

Erika nodded. She had often compared her sexual desire to a beast too. "Do you go to Sapphic Rock often, or..."

"No. I have regular girlfriends and boyfriends, but sometimes..." She sighed. "It drives me crazy. You might understand better if I told you I was raised Mormon."

Erika smiled at the commonality. "Hokey religion."

"Yes." Katherine made a turn. "Don't misunderstand me. I value my beliefs, but..."

"I understand more than you know," Erika said. Katherine and I are such similar creatures, she thought. Both young actresses, both into the lifestyle but unsure of ourselves, and for similar reasons. I like her a lot. I'm really glad I found her tonight. "Do you live alone or..."

"My roommate's out of town. We'll have the place to ourselves." Katherine frowned. "Listen, Erika, I want you to know I'm not usually this fast. But tonight... the people at UPN have told me Roswell's probably not staying around. I really wanted it to, but it's not. The ratings aren't high enough. This, after what happened with Ground Zero..."

Her latest movie, Erika recalled. It got delayed by 9/11, like mine did. I read that somewhere. "You're depressed."

"No, just emotional. I'll get over it. If... you will help me?"

"Of course," Erika said. I'm a little intimidated by Katherine, she thought. She's had a great career, and it's still going strong despite the upsets. I envy her. "You know what Geena Davis told me about roles that get cancelled? They don't matter. As long as you remember them, learn from them, and appreciate their meaning, you can go on. Same with roles that bomb, if you're going to complain about that next."

Katherine smiled, taking in her words. Then she pulled over to a curb. "Here we are. I'm afraid the place is sort of a mess."

"That's fine," Erika said. She got out of the car and followed Katherine into the apartment, immediately grimacing when she saw the state it was in. She wasn't kidding about the mess, Erika mused. So much stuff cluttered around the functional furniture. Posters, clothes, books, videotapes... My own place isn't the cleanest in the world, but at least it's more organized- I think. She took her shoes off as Katherine locked the door behind them. Gotta relax.

Katherine nodded at the secured door, then dropped her purse and turned to face Erika. "Listen, whatever happens tonight, thank you."

"Don't mention it," Erika said. Katherine nodded and stepped closer, her arms stretching out. Erika extended hers back, accepting the embrace. So easy, she thought as they kissed. Thank goodness. I was so afraid, and now... Her lips locked on Katherine's, both opening. Their tongues came out slowly and touched one another. Then both of them dropped the kiss.

"Bedroom's through here," Katherine said, stepping away from Erika. She flashed her new friend a smile over her shoulder as she walked across the room, through the hall, and turned a corner into a room even more cluttered than the living room. Erika, following her, barely noticed. Her every nerve was tingling with anticipation, and she was doing her best to push it down.

Katherine turned as they entered the bedroom, took hold of Erika's shoulders, and kissed her again. Erika kissed back, arms encircling Katherine and fingers poking at her skin. The brunette let out a moan, her own hands starting to fondle Erika's sides. They found her breasts very quickly, squeezed them, then grabbed Erika's shirt and began to pull it up.

Erika stepped back and raised her arms to aid Katherine. The shirt was pulled off her and flung away, revealing the dark blue bra beneath. Could have gone without tonight, but I didn't know what to expect, Erika thought. I felt I needed the support. She stepped back from Katherine and unsnapped her bra. The brunette watched, smiling as it fell to the floor.

"Nice," Katherine said, stepping towards her and leaning down. Her lips touched Erika's left nipple, then her right, teeth and tongue bringing each to attention. Then she looked up at Erika's eyes, tongue touching the space between her breasts.

"Let me see yours," Erika requested, her hands touching Katherine's shirt. Her new friend nodded and stood up, took hold of the garment and pulled it off. She wore an American flag bikini top under it, her tan skin and hard nipples accented by the stars and stripes. Erika grinned as she watched Katherine discard that garment as well, freeing her hard pink-nippled globes.

She smiled and moved back in, embracing the other girl. They kissed each other's lips, their bodies pressing together. Their hands continued to roam, undressing each other now. Pants were unfastened and pushed down, panties following. They paused and looked down at each other, exchanging smiles again. Katherine's shaved her mound, Erika noticed. I know some women do that, I've seen it before, but not like this. I wonder how it... She gasped, distracted as Katherine's fingers came up and tangled in her lower blonde curls.

"Very nice," Katherine said, her fingers pressing within Erika. They touched her snatch's sides, caressed her inner thighs as they moved back and forth. Her other hand fondled each of Erika's breasts, fingers pinching the nipples. Mind back on the moment, Erika raised her hand and touched Katherine's thigh, fingers roaming along the bronzed expanse. Wonder how she feels, Erika thought, then moved her digits to Katherine's cunt. It was rough, as expected, but softer along the edges. She smiled, finding it was also wet. Katherine sighed and gave her another kiss.

They stood in the middle of the room for what seemed the longest time, breathing into each other's lips and caressing each other's bodies. They stepped out of their pants, kicked them away. Each continued to touch the other's cunt, and the other's breasts also. Their hands never stayed in one spot for long, though. Frequently they would sweep away from their partner's most sensitive points, touch the arms, legs, or back muscles. Their lips also continued to trade kisses, and they rubbed against each other's nipples and skin. Soon their juices were flowing heavily and at that moment, Katherine stepped back.

"On the bed," she said. Erika nodded, smiling. They walked towards the cot in the room's far corner and tumbled onto it, rolling onto their sides. They smiled at each other and kissed again, fingers twisting and tangling each other's hair. Their bodies were flushed, and their minds as well, emotional storms raging within. A car alarm went off somewhere outside, but they ignored it, too occupied with their newly discovered joy.

"Ahh!" Erika moaned as Katherine's fingers started rubbing her body again. She put her hands on Katherine, and soon they were moving in harmony, concentrating on one another's stomach and thighs.

Then their hands traveled on, pushing again at one another's lower regions. Each of them gasped as the other's fingers entered their cunt. Okay, Erika thought, I'll make her first one rapid, then slack off. No hurry, we have the whole night ahead. She pushed two fingers against the top of Katherine's pussy, found her clit, and began pinching and stroking it.

Katherine smiled, then probed for Erika's clit and began to return similar motions. Their other hands came up, fondled and squeezed at each other's breasts and sides. They continued to kiss heatedly as they did so, their bodies stiffening and pressing hard into one another. They hunched against one another rhythmically, gyrating wildly and then slowing down a bit before starting up again. Erika let out a series of deep breaths, her wetness rising. The entire length of Katherine's finger thrust into her, soaking it up.

"Ahh!" she breathed, smiling and kissing the other girl. Her fingers stabbed at Katherine's clit, matching the gesture. Their bodies kept rubbing each other as they moved, flushed skin clashing and nipples dueling like knives. Their tongues dueled as well, while their hands grabbed and squeezed random places on their torsos and thighs before returning to the most intimate points. Erika moaned into Katherine's mouth as she felt the other girl's hand on her rear, then again as it rubbed her spine, and then once more when it re-entered her cunt. Any second now, she thought, her waters rising as Katherine's fingers pushed deep. At the same instant, Katherine's foot swept up along hers, rubbed her in a way she had never felt before. That's it, Erika thought. I feel it, I'm...




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 03



"Yes!!!" Erika wailed, tearing her lips away from Katherine's, body shaking. She fell against the other girl, overwhelmed with feeling and heat. Katherine held her close and kissed her, fingers still stroking Erika. Erika pushed down the feeling of fatigue and grinned, her hands again moving to arouse her new friend.

Okay, she thought. That was mine. Now for yours. She pressed at Katherine's pussy and breasts, locating the nerves and tingling her fingers against them. Katherine began to moan softly and rapidly, her body vibrating against Erika's. Erika rolled her close to the wall, kissed her lips, and in the same motion jabbed two fingers as deep into Katherine's cunt as they would go. She then flicked them up, captured her clitoris and yanked on it. Her mouth left Katherine's as the other girl gasped, dropped onto and sucked each of her nipples. Katherine clenched her teeth and then quietly spasmed, her lips opening and closing rapidly while her hands squeezed Erika's arms. She settled down, cuddled against Erika as her hands ceased moving. Erika smiled and kissed her lips.

"Thank you," Katherine said when Erika pulled away. "This was exactly what I needed. Please, Erika, tell me that this isn't for only one night."

That's what I want too, Erika thought. She gave Katherine another smile. "It goes on as long as we both want it to."

"Good," Katherine sighed, moving in to kiss her once more.

***

October 2003. London, England.

"We still get together whenever we can," Erika concluded, smiling at Alicia. "Katherine and I have different careers, but our friendship is strong. It's like you and me."

"Weren't you and her in an MTV film together?"

Erika nodded, her face flushing as she recalled some of the things she and Katherine had done in their mutual dressing room while filming Wuthering Heights. "Yeah. Of course, a lot happened between then and when we met. I got with Kate, and Sarah, and Shiri, and Jesse, and..." She smiled, kissing Alicia's lips. "I know it's a lot of people, but they all mean something to me. I'm not the sort who loves and leaves. I always remember my lovers, even if we have to move on."

Alicia thought about her words and nodded, indicating she shared them. "Thank you for telling me all that. I know it was a lot."

"It's my life," Erika shrugged. "A lot has gone on, a lot is going on, and there's still much to be done. Always will be." Grinning, she extended her fingers and touched Alicia's cunt.

***

The End.



Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 04



Chapter 4: Sailing with the Hudsons,

an erotic tale by AchtungNight.

Celebs: Erika Christensen, Kate Hudson, Sarah Hudson, Jesse Bradford.

Codes: MF, FF, threesome, orgy, oral, anal, interracial, incest, dp, exh, voy.

Standard disclaimer- This story is a satirical fantasy. It is fictional, even though its plot and characters are based on real events and people. All characters based on real people are fictionalized. All celebrities in the story are impersonated — poorly. I, the author, have no actual connection to any celebrity mentioned in this story other than being their fan, and I acknowledge that they do not act in real life the way my characters based on them do. I did not write this tale for financial profit and I expect none from it. This story contains controversial adult themes and situations, so it should not be read by those who are close-minded or under age 18.

Intro: Welcome, readers. This story is part of a series that burned me out a while back. The burnout is over now and I have resumed writing. Time and the responses of readers have made some changes in my original plans but the story retains the same themes. This chapter is one of the two left to publish. I thank all who have aided me in completing it and getting through the burnout. I appreciate all my fans and friends. I also appreciate feedback. Please send all you can.

Some notes on this story. First, this is not just an erotic fanfic. It is also a coming-of-age philosophical allegory. I recognize that stories such as this are not often found in this genre but I do not think that means I should put aside my vision. I believe this story is one that needs to be told.

All opinions expressed within this story are mine. My goal in expressing them is no more than tolerance, writing a good plot and honoring my characters. I always try to maintain the utmost respect for the people behind my characters even if my definition of respect sometimes differs from the most common one. If what I write offends you, you are free to send me feedback about it and discuss things. I pride myself on my open compassionate mind. I also try to give attention to both sides of a controversial issue whenever I write a story about one. This tale is one of those.

Second note: I am aware that some of the music in this story may not have been around at the same time in real life. This music works to get readers into the characters, though, so I have changed history a little for my fictional story and included this music. You don't need to correct me on this detail.

Third, with this story I drop the flashback format I used in the previous 'Passion' chapters. It just didn't work for this one. I don't think anyone will miss it that much.

If you want an order in which all my Erika stories can be read chronologically, try the following: "Passion Ch.1-3" (keep in mind these stories also have scenes that take place after "The Rendezvous"), "Passion Ch.4" (this story), "The Rendezvous", "Closer Than Six Degrees", and "Rekindled". You don't have to read any of these other stories first to get this one, but you can if you want to be keyed in to plot elements on which this story does not concentrate. You can also read the connected stories "Inside Out" and "The Beijing Streakers" for more information on the Friendship.

There will be a final "Passion" chapter that takes place after all these other stories that will resolve the dangling threads and the conflict of Erika vs. her religion's most famous zealot. I hope all will look forward to it. Let's get the final necessary developments out of the way first.

***

Passion of Erika Christensen, Chapter 4: Sailing with the Hudsons

Los Angeles, California. March 2002. 

"Welcome to Hollywood!"

The Rastafarian grinned, opening his arms to all around him. "Everybody who comes to Hollywood's got a dream! Some dreams come true, some don't." He pointed at random people on the street around him. "What's your dream? What's your dream? Hey, pretty woman! What's your dream?"

"I'm still figuring that out," Erika Christensen replied with caution. The man was one of many strange people moving around her on Hollywood Boulevard. He nodded at her answer and then moved on with his ever-present toothy smile.

"What's your dream? Hey mister! Hey! What's your dream?"

Erika ran a hand through her long golden curls and hurried to catch up with her two companions. Like them, she was dressed casually in a bright-hued blouse and skirt that highlighted her voluptuous bust and firm legs. Her hair tumbled down her back and around her cherubic face and indigo eyes. Her porcelain skin gleamed in the streetlights. Several of the ladies of the night walking the Boulevard had been giving her harsh looks throughout the evening. Erika ignored them as best she could.

She wasn't getting nearly as many harsh looks as her companions. The taller and older of the pair, Kate Hudson, looked like a Greek goddess with her bony statuesque features and white alabaster flesh. Straight blonde hair a shade lighter than Erika's hung about her shoulders. She appraised the people walking past them with sky blue orbs behind sunglasses, casting a cool smile at anyone who looked back.

The other girl, Sarah Hudson, was a shapely woman with a handsome face and deep makeup. Long brick red hair accented her hazel eyes and laughing smirk. Any woman who stared at her received an answering look of challenge. So far, that look had also frightened off a few guys.

Oh well, Erika thought, the guys in question didn't seem like much anyway. The night's still young. If it goes sour, we can always head home and have fun with each other.

"You see these stars on the sidewalk?" a scantily clad skank asked, stepping into their path. She pointed at several other girls with her. "This is our turf, bitch!"

"We're not hookers," Kate coolly informed the skank. "Far be it from us to steal your business."

"Don't fuck with us," Sarah added with a glare. The hookers nodded and backed off. Kate and Sarah walked on.

I wish I could give them some advice; Erika paused in thought, looking at the prostitutes. So many of these girls have such messed-up lives, I would try to help them if they'd listen to me. I know people don't always appreciate help, though. I don't think it would be appreciated here.

She smiled at the hookers and several flashed her upraised middle fingers that confirmed her conjecture. Erika sighed and tucked her Scientology cross pendant out of view under her blouse as she headed away.

"Just ignore them," Kate advised her. "Those whores give Sarah and me trouble every time we come down this way. People like them are the main reason I've donated thousands to clean this area up."

Erika nodded. She did the same with the money she earned as an actress. It's working, she thought, looking around at the Boulevard. The people on this street look mostly content here in the week before college spring break. The crooks of this area are still evident but there aren't nearly as many as when I last walked the Boulevard. That's good. This is L.A.'s main thoroughfare of the arts. It has the Walk of Fame and many theaters and restaurants. I don't appreciate that it also has crime.

A large black van drove past, making her feel better. Kate's adopted father and another man were inside the vehicle watching over the girls and patrolling the area. Erika had requested their presence. I have a bad feeling about tonight, she had told Kate and Sarah. You never know what will happen. Sometimes pepper spray and fast feet aren't enough. It was Erika's first time picking up guys with them on the Boulevard, so the other two women had acquiesced to her demand.

Erika was nineteen years old. Kate and Sarah were in their early twenties. Erika had met them while filming a movie with Kate's mother Goldie Hawn. "The Banger Sisters" was a comedy about two best friends who reunited in the present after sleeping with dozens of rock stars in the 1960s. One of them, Goldie, was still into the groupie lifestyle. The other, played by Susan Sarandon, had settled down in the suburbs and become a mother of two. Erika played the older daughter whose drunken prom night revelry brought Goldie back into Susan's life.

In reality, Susan and Goldie had known each other for decades. Geena Davis, one of Erika's mentors as an actress and sexual being, had introduced Erika to them. Some months ago, Erika had discovered she was bisexual and wanted to be a happy swinger. Geena had pointed out Susan and Goldie as the two most experienced female celebrity swingers she knew. They had both grown up during the sexual revolution and first become famous in Hollywood during the 1970s and 1980s. If anyone could teach Erika to manage swinging and the acting career she also wanted, it was them.

Geena's "Thelma and Louise" co-star, Susan, had been thrilled to meet Erika. She had admired Erika's work playing an addict in the anti-drug thriller "Traffic" and gotten her a similar part in "The Banger Sisters". Both Susan and Goldie were veteran actresses who lived with common-law husbands. Erika had learned they were also still living the 1960s free love movement in the new millennium. They were decades older than Erika, though, so they did not find themselves attracted to her. She had shrugged that off and accepted the inspiration and advice they offered instead. Goldie had also introduced Erika to two girls her own age who wanted the same lifestyle as Goldie and Susan had: Goldie's niece Sarah and her daughter Kate.

Kate was a new famous face in Hollywood. Recently she had wowed critics in the drama "Almost Famous". Her role as a rock groupie named Penny Lane had won her an Oscar nomination and a Golden Globe. She was married to a musician but both lived open sexually. Her cousin Sarah was a year younger and starting a rock music career. She managed a small record label and produced several albums for herself and other artists. Both girls had grown up in Hollywood like Erika. However, their childhood had been far more open than hers had.

Erika had grown up sheltered. Her parents kept her isolated and home-schooled her when she wasn't attending classes for her religion. Acting was her only escape and she had become further excited about it as she grew more adept. Where is this going, her family would often ask as they watched her star in commercials and small press movies. Erika had answered them when she got multiple awards for her performance in "Traffic" and then embarked on a movie star's life.

I will always want this life, she told herself, thinking back on it. Never have I been that content with myself. I've always been told I'm a point of light, a supreme being who just needs to awaken the powers inside her the way I'm shown. I never have seen that working perfect, though. I know that when someone says they have all the answers they are always misinformed or lying. However, I can't tell them that. They get mad at me if I do. It's far better to be someone else, someone other than me. I love other people too much to forever step outside their lives.

Fame had not been easy. At first, Erika was not comfortable with the world outside her church and family. Life's lessons had hit her fast and hard. Scientology preached self-reliance but it was also big on motivating its followers to seek nothing other than its teachings as guidelines for development. Erika had always somehow known that was wrong.

Watching many of her friends turn away from the church over the years had supported her doubts. She was confident she would never leave the church herself, as she accepted the basic beliefs and would always be grateful for the things her religion had taught her about communication and emotion. However, Erika knew she did not want to be forced to live a life that was in but not of the real world.

I know our mistakes too, she pondered, recalling the anger the hookers had shown her. I have to be careful about voicing my thoughts to the wrong people sometimes but I still have knowledge and opinions. I see over half the world confused by our strange ways and much of the rest despising us for things we've done. The lawsuits and censorship, the greed, the people we've injured on both physical and spiritual levels. It all disturbs me so much. I have a larger conscience than many people in my religion, especially the leaders.

Unlike them, I am not selfish and I will never believe our way is all there is. We've only come along in recent years while other truths including psychology have been around for centuries. I don't like using and manipulating others, either. I think it's better to show someone the reality of the person you are if they're against you rather than just hate them and do whatever you can to mislead and dispose of them. Sometimes people need assistance to open their minds and if you give that aid, it helps clear the planet of its troubles. Aren't we supposed to be doing that? 

We shouldn't separate ourselves from the rest of the world either. There are no truly evil life-suppressing people except those who are unwilling to see reality and change their minds. At least that's what I think. I also don't believe one should put a price on enlightenment and long for the day my church stops charging money for its deepest truths.

Erika knew she was not alone in these thoughts. Others had them and had left her church to practice their own Scientology denominations or seek answers elsewhere. Some had departed of their own volition while others got forced out. These included several people Erika knew. She sympathized with them and missed them. Erika did not want to join these people in anything other than spirit, though. To do more would mean shunning from the zealots among her friends and family still inside Scientology's main organization. It was better to stay inside and walk on eggshells, she believed.

I can handle it, she reminded herself again. I am an actress. I lie for a living. Many people lie to me and tell me that it's okay. So easy to lie also about the person I am within.

"What's the matter?" Sarah asked, walking beside her. "You were the one who wanted to come out here."

I did, Erika mused. It's been a while since I got with a guy. Girls are fun, Kate and Sarah included, but guys are the people with whom I started and they also give me something I need. Almost every woman I know is the same. Kate and Sarah knew I was missing guy sex, so they invited me out to troll for boys with them. It would be fun, I thought. I usually go boy hunting with Alicia Witt but she and I are at odds right now. I made the mistake of kissing her two weeks ago and she's still a little mad at me. I told her I thought she was into girls and apologized. She forgave me but it's taking her time to warm up to me again. Alicia has a lot of resentment. I hope one day that she and I can find a way to work it out.

Deciding to distract herself, Erika turned to Kate. "Are you sure your husband's okay with you doing this?"

"He can fuck groupies all he wants," Kate answered, chuckling. "He's off on tour right now doing just that. I let him fuck whom he wants, so I get to fuck whom I want. We're only married because he asked."

"You should have stayed unmarried like Aunt G," Sarah suggested.

Kate shook her head. "I'm not one hundred percent like my mother. I love Chris, so I married him. These other guys are just ... guys." She made a dismissive wave. "You'll understand when you find someone."

My mother tells me the same thing, Erika thought. She and my father were both hippies before they found each other and Scientology. They know about the swinging lifestyle I've chosen and are okay with it for now. I'm glad. I could never deceive them. I don't want to deceive my friends either. It's too difficult and wrong.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" she asked her companions, ignoring all the times she had done it before and never had such concerns. "We don't know who we'll be meeting."

"We'll get to know them before we take them home," Sarah replied. "Just like we always do. We had our monthly checkups at the clinic yesterday. We can go again tomorrow if you're that worried. We picked up pills and condoms before we came out."

"I know," Erika said with a sigh. "I'm just nervous. I don't want us to wind up with some losers."

"I agree," said Kate. "I've had enough of those." She put a hand on her hip and frowned as she watched a carful of guys pick up some of the hookers who had sneered at them earlier. "You know, I really think we should have picked a different area."

"Maybe," Erika replied. She looked around for other guys, frowning when she saw none nearby. Erika, Kate and Sarah had been wandering for just over an hour so far and had yet to catch any intriguing bites.

Erika cringed as she spotted three of her church's volunteer ministers across the street handing out pamphlets. They were a fat, short, and lean trio of brothers named Boggis, Bunce, and Bean Feshbach. Erika knew they were equally mean zealots despite their personable facades and different looks. She quickly turned her face away from them and let out a relieved gasp when they did not call out to her.

Having the wrong people recognize her was Erika's greatest fear. Her church frowned on promiscuity just like all other religions and Erika did not want to have to explain herself to the fanatics. None of them really liked her chosen way of life. Some urged her to stay at home instead of acting, concentrate on her family. Others told her she needed to give more money to the church now that she was a celebrity millionaire. Erika never wanted those people to find out she donated a lot of her earnings to charities for the environment, victims of persecution, mental illness and other causes many within her church ignored. Most of the donations were not in her name since she didn't make them for recognition, but if discovered by the fanatics they would still be of concern.

The celebrity zealots are the worst, Erika thought. Scientology's a Hollywood fad with many who like to draw attention to themselves by practicing it. Just last winter, the great actor Tom Cruise got in my face and told me I was wasting my talent refusing to be an evangelist like he's thinking of becoming. I told him I see living the good in my beliefs as more respectful to others and that his plans scare me. I just know they're going to ruin the good public standing he's built over the past twenty years. 

Tom still hasn't forgiven me for lashing out at him. He told me a month ago that he was willing to agree to disagree and that he had enjoyed "Home Room", the movie I made about a shooting victim who sees psychiatrists for posttraumatic stress disorder. I'm sure he's still mad at me on some level, though. The only good thing that came of our fight was that Alicia overheard us and decided she wanted to be my friend.

"Don't worry," Kate told her. "If those guys saw you and go crying to your church's intelligence agency, Isaac will take care of it. You know he will."

Erika grimaced. The very existence of her church's intelligence agency and all she knew it had done both frightened and angered her. The first director of the agency had gone to prison for fraud and other serious crimes and so had several other operatives over the past five decades. Many more were responsible for motivating people Erika knew to leave the church behind.

The agency's current director, Mike Rinder, had pledged that the bad days were over and he was changing things for the better. Erika had taken courses taught by Rinder as part of her church studies, so she knew his intentions were sincere. However, she was not sure he could deliver what he promised. She had seen too many people harmed by things her church did and too many other people, Rinder included, give in to the constantly angry fanatics who held the real power in the ministry. Erika knew that in all likelihood the hurt would continue to go on.




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 04



I can't leave, though, she thought. I still believe in the good of my church. I'm also frightened of the people who are against us. I lurk sometimes in the places where they congregate. I have listened to their words and seen so much anger and bitterness. I don't blame some of them for it but I don't think others should feel so awful. It's as if they still want to be like the worst of us even though they left our church for good reason. They shout down and alienate anyone who disagrees with their generally confused and hateful words. They don't know any other way to live their lives but working their antipathy out over and over again. Some of them even spread disinformation and create new conflicts. I can't see any of them as nice. It's all so hard for me to understand. Better to stay inside, where I know what to expect and can manage things. My family is with me here and my friends are helping, too.

Isaac Hayes was one of those friends. A celebrity Scientologist like Erika, he had long been active in the entertainment industry as an actor and soul musician. He was also the one who had introduced Erika to the swinging lifestyle and "Clear Rainbow", her church's network of followers who were into alternative sexuality. Isaac had enough contacts in the church to keep Clear Rainbow tolerated by those who could accept its existence and hidden from most of the rest. Erika knew she had Isaac watching over her, and her parents also, but this did not keep her from being afraid much of the time.

"The tabloids are no concern either," Kate broke into her thoughts, smirking at a group of nearby photographers. A weasel-faced blond man stood in the forefront, snapping a camera away. "Like I've told you before, just stay busy and don't stand out and they hardly notice you as anything more than a name."

"Right," Erika said. Geena had given her the same advice and she followed it. I'm with my career one hundred percent, Erika told reporters. When I'm not shooting films, I'm reading scripts or rehearsing. I don't have time for boyfriends. So far, the press had all appeared to believe her words. There seemed no threat of exposure on that front.

"If things get really bad, we also have an ace in the hole," said Sarah. She made an odd gesture.

The Friendship, Erika thought, recognizing the motion. She and most of her friends were members of this group, a secret society similar to the Masons but far more powerful and less known. Their tendrils extended into every sector of the world and benefitted everyone they touched, sometimes in unexpected ways. Geena, Isaac and Erika's parents had initiated her a month ago. The society's goals were simple — gathering and sharing knowledge and giving freedom and charity to all people. 

They did not have a clear overall plan to achieve these goals but they did have many ongoing programs and strategies. Reforming Erika's church was among these. The church leaders might be against change, like most religious leaders, but they could not stop people from having opinions and reacting to being hurt. Some of these people still believed in Scientology despite all its misdeeds and wanted to be proactive and fix it rather than leave their religion and let it die. We have the power to do this, they said, if we truly are supreme beings. Because of their belief and honest desire to help others, they stayed inside the church if they could and tried to inspire other followers to a better level of ethics and public opinion. 

The Friendship, which had long observed the development of various people and helped them along to secure its own goals, was aiding these would-be reformers. Erika doubted whether the Friendship was all good sometimes but she was willing to stay within and find out for herself. The advantages the society gave her were also great and came at no cost.

Kate used the Friendship last year to kill a tabloid story about her eating disorder, Erika remembered. Goldie, Susan, Isaac and Geena use them for swinging and career connections. I've been doing the same to a degree. Like Sarah, I don't want to depend on the Friendship for my career, but they are nice. I hope that as time goes on I learn more of their plan for my church and that it turns out to be as good as my parents and Isaac believe it will.

"It's a long term plan," Isaac told her. "We think it will probably take years. Religions are difficult to reform, you see. Every one in history has needed it and the Friendship has few adversaries that can be more dangerous. I don't think I'm going to live to see the plans the Friendship has for our church conclude. I hope you do, Erika, and if I must die before then I just hope I die well."

Erika worried he would not. Isaac voiced a cartoon chef on a show that often satirized religion. Though he and Erika were okay with such a theme, others within their church disapproved. These fanatics' ranks included Isaac's publicist. The show, "South Park", was a huge hit and showed no sign of ending any time soon. If the elderly Isaac should fall into poor health, Erika had a feeling that the fanatics in their religion would seize the opportunity to make him quit his show in a disturbing way.

Isaac knows that might happen too, Erika reminded herself. He is aware of the negative side of our church. He edits it out of the way he lives his beliefs just like my family and I do. We're far from the only ones. The Friendship has a long road to reforming Scientology and we're helping it along. We hate it whenever the actions of some fanatic who thinks they know how we should be push us back. However, we soldier on. I hope Isaac will also continue to soldier on, even if the worst should happen.

Most of the people opposed to her religion, Erika knew, did not want that. They wanted to destroy her church and everything it had built. Never mind the good things they had done. The people they had helped educate and those they had turned away from crime and addiction. The many artists, Erika included, whom they had taught to be better communicators. The companies they had built; the artworks and communities; the mental health reforms and alternatives. So many of the people against them could only see the bad they had done as well.

We're learning, Erika wanted to tell these haters. We're getting away from our infamy slowly but surely. Yes, some people may never change but we can't let them stop the rest of us. The majority of Scientologists want reform. We want a better world. Why can't you help us find one instead of just reminding us of all the mistakes we've made over and over? Why do you let us continue to live in fear? I would ask you this question if I honestly thought you would listen to me. I've seen others ask you and you always respond with derision and disgust.

She also wanted to tell the haters about a Christian-themed horror movie she'd seen once called "The Prophecy". In it, an archangel had rebelled against God, believing he knew a better way for the world and humanity. In one climactic scene, the Devil visited the archangel and offered aid.

"What are you doing here, Satan?" the archangel asked in surprise. "This isn't your war."

"On the contrary," the Devil answered. "You are too blind to see that your actions are not motivated by compassion, truth and understanding as much as they are by suspicion, ignorance and arrogance. That makes your war evil and that makes it mine."

There's evil on my side of this war too, Erika recalled. Again, she was thinking of people like the Feshbach brothers and her church's intelligence agency. Of course knowing that doesn't help me much. Oh well, I should just forget it and take things as they come. I know I have to stay firm in my ethics and get through whatever happens to me. I've been doing that. Nothing too awful has occurred yet, thankfully. It could be worse.

"Ladies, fucking ladies!" a nearby voice yelled in a Jersey twang. "You wanna buy some weed?"

Frowning, Erika turned and saw a tall man with long blond hair standing a few feet up the sidewalk. He wore a yellow rain slicker and a black knit cap. Another man was leaning against the wall beside him. This fellow was stout, dark-bearded and dressed in a black overcoat and a white baseball cap turned backwards. Erika at once pegged him as the quiet type.

"Jay and Silent Bob got what you need, ladies!" shouted the more vocal of the pair. "We got horse, crack, doobies and meds! Step right up and get it! Snootchie Bootchies!" He grinned at Erika and grabbed his crotch.

"Keep walking," Kate whispered in Erika's ear. "Act natural. Do not make eye contact."

Erika nodded. She disliked drug dealers but knew better than to get close to them outside a film role. 

Wait, she thought as she was about to turn. I want to say something to these guys. I really should. I got into playing drug addicts because I wanted to show people the damage drugs can do to their lives. My church has helped so many people get off drugs, Kirstie Alley and thousands of others. Maybe these guys just need a little help too, and if I say the right things ...

No, she decided, I can't risk it. They would see me the same as those hookers earlier saw me, maybe even worse. I can't take the chance. She glared at Jay and Silent Bob and then walked away from them as they traded confused frowns.

Never mind that those guys might be able to help me through my quandary, Erika thought as she headed on down the sidewalk. For some reason I get the feeling they've aided troubled religious women before.

Several laughing teenagers on roller skates sped past her as she again caught up with Sarah and Kate. "This is getting us nowhere," Erika told her friends. "I think we have too much clutter. You want to try Sunset?"

"Nah," Sarah said with a bored exhale. "That area's just as bad as this one. Maybe we should go in there. It's served me well a few times."

Erika looked where the redhead was pointing. A sign flashing neon lights read "Blue Banana". Below the sign was a pool hall with several people wandering in and out. I've walked past that place a few times, Erika thought. I've never gone inside, though. Oh well, no time like the present. She shrugged and followed Kate and Sarah across the street.

Kate put a hand on her arm when they reached the other side. "Relax," she said. "You remember what you said in the movie you just finished, right? 'Don't feel fake, live life true?' You need to start doing that, Erika."

"I know. It's harder than it sounds, though." Erika pulled herself out of Kate's grasp and looked back towards all the people they had passed.

"You know what Aunt G says?" asked Sarah. "Forget anything else but your present moment. It's all you have control over. Only worry about other people if you really need to. You can make yourself happy at any time if you just open your eyes and find a way."

The wisdom of a devout Buddhist, Erika thought with a sigh. "Goldie's said that to me before. It's not easy advice to follow."

"Yes, it is," Kate countered. "Just put your troubles away and worry about them later, if ever. They're not who you are. It's easy, Erika. Decide to do it and it's done."

"Okay," Erika said, nodding. She would try. She stabilized her mind and followed Kate and Sarah into the pool hall. A bouncer nodded at them as they entered. The room was dark, steamy and full of people having a good time. Some were talking in small groups or dancing to rock music. Others were around game tables and the bar at the far end. Kate worked her way through the crowds to the bar and asked the old man behind it for two martinis and a soda. Erika felt relieved this wasn't going to be one of the nights she was forced to drink.

"Ahoy!" Sarah called out just then.

Erika looked and saw the redhead was pointing at two Caucasian men in short-sleeved and well-ironed US Navy whites sitting in a booth ten feet away. Cute guys, Erika thought at once. Both were in their mid-twenties, well muscled and tall. They had faces that belonged on recruitment posters. One of the pair was large with thin carrot-colored curls and a playful grin. The other sailor was slim, dark-haired and resembled a young Mark Harmon. He gazed about the room with steady intensity. Erika squinted at their nametags and read "C. Kurgan" and "Z. Metz".

"Uniforms," Kate said. "They're alone. Nice."

Uniforms are often good, Erika thought. Guys look great in them and the military weeds out lots of undesirables. These sailors are probably ethical and healthy just like Kate, Sarah and me. They'd make perfect targets if they weren't only two.

"Hail!" C. Kurgan stood up and shouted. "Hail, Torrence!"

Erika looked to see a third man in naval whites approaching from the restroom. He was as tall and good-looking as the first two, a firmly robust black youth with a large nose and a flat buzz-cut. His eyes were brown like the other two sailors'. "T. Hale", his nameplate said.

"Stop that, Chas," Torrence said as he reached his friends. "You know that I don't like it."

"I'm just giving you a good ribbing, man! Chill!" Chas and the other sailor both chuckled as Torrence sat down with a roll of his eyes.

"Okay," Kate said. "There are three of them and three of us. Approach?"

Sarah and Erika both smiled in agreement. They sipped down their drinks and paid for them, then sauntered over to the sailors. The trio stopped talking when Chas saw the girls and caught his friends' attention. "Hey, ladies," he said.

"Hi," Kate replied. "You boys looking for some fun?"

"Um, no," Torrence said. "Thank you. We're kind of short on money right now."

"We aren't hookers," Sarah told him. "Our services come free." She walked up to Torrence. "You're probably shipping out soon, right?"

"Yeah," the black sailor answered. "Day after tomorrow, we're going to Pakistan."

"Well then," Kate asked, "do you want a night to remember before you go?"

The sailors looked at each other, unable to believe their good fortune. Erika beamed at them along with her girlfriends. A fine catch, she thought, three great looking guys in uniform. Their personalities seem acceptable too, so far. This could be better than I hoped for tonight, better than I've had in a while.

"Why don't you ladies sit down?" Z. Metz said, waving at them and scooting over. "I'm Zechariah. Call me Zeck. This is Chas and Torrence."

"I'm Kate," Kate replied, taking a seat. "The redhead's Sarah and that's Erika. What do you boys do in the Navy?"

"Boatswain's mate," Torrence answered, "first class."

"First class," Sarah said with a grin. She leaned into his shoulder. "Wow."

"I'm a navigational technician," Zeck said. "I do intelligence, communications and radar." He looked Kate and Erika up and down and smiled. "Chas is in the engine room. He's a bilge-cleaning specialist."

"Not for much longer," Chas countered. He pulled up his left sleeve and showed the girls a winged anchor and trident tattooed on his bicep. "I'm trying out for the SEALs after my current tour is over. I'm gonna be among the best of the best."

"Don't tell them that!" Torrence cautioned. "You'll never get in. You shouldn't even try. All seals are good for is bouncing balls on their noses."

"Shut up, Torrence," said Zeck. "You want him to demonstrate that with your balls?"

"Good one, Zeck," said Chas.

Erika grimaced at Kate and Sarah. She didn't entirely appreciate the sailors' sense of humor. Relax, Kate flashed back with her face. They seem like okay guys.

"So who gets who?" Torrence inquired, looking at the girls. "That is, if you don't mind me asking."

"Sarah and I are cousins," Kate replied. "Erika's our friend. We share everything. Is that alright with you?" She gave the men a suggestive smirk and put her hand on Chas's arm. Sarah beamed at Torrence. Erika took the odd man out and scooted closer to Zeck while keeping her eyes on Sarah and Kate.

The three sailors gave each other another look of incredulity. "No problem!" Torrence spoke for all of them. "You girls got transportation?"

Kate nodded and pulled out her cell phone. "My dad's outside. I'll call him to pick us up."

"Your dad?" Zeck raised his eyebrows. "None of you look underage."

"We're not, we're in a swinging family," Sarah explained. "Don't worry, Uncle Kurt's cool with us going fishing. You'll be okay as long as you treat us right." She leaned across Torrence and rubbed the navigator's cheek.

"I have to ask," Zeck said with a frown. "I think I know at least two of you from somewhere. Are you girls famous?"

"I am," Kate replied, taking off her sunglasses. "'Almost Famous'."

"Oh my God," Chas said with a blink. "You're Kate Hudson, Goldie Hawn's daughter!"

"Correct," Kate confirmed with a nod.

"And you're the girl from that drug movie 'Traffic'," Zeck said. "Erika..."

"Christensen," Erika answered. "Did you like the movie?"

"I loved it. You're great. You really deserved all those awards." He grinned at her, then looked at Sarah. "You I don't recognize."

"Sarah Hudson," the redhead introduced herself. She then started singing. "It's getting under me, behind the front of me, head up on top of me! A hot, hot riot! They're hanging over me, trying to get a hold of me! It's only causing me a hot, hot riot!"

The sailors looked at each other, then back at her and shrugged. "Sorry," Torrence spoke for them. "That song ain't familiar. You are cute, though."

"Thanks," Sarah replied. "I'm still working on becoming a rock star."

"I think you're there already," Chas said. "That sounded like a pretty good song." He laughed. "So, uh, you girls know my bros and I don't share each other, right? We're not into that."

Kate smirked. "I bet that disappoints a lot of guys on your ship."

"Not that many," Zeck said with a shrug. "It's only a small destroyer. Then there's the whole 'don't ask, don't tell' thing." He looked at Erika's neck. "That gold chain, is it what I think it is?"

Erika took the pendant out of her blouse and showed it to him. "It's just my cross." She noticed a similar chain under Zeck's collar. "Do you also wear one?"

The navigator nodded and displayed a small gold ankh. "Yeah, I wear it for faith. I like to believe I have God supporting me. I know the enemy claims the same thing but that doesn't bother me. I tell myself no just and loving god would want people to be killing each other. No just and loving man should want that, either. I don't fight because I want to fight but because I have to. Their people are harming mine. I will put down my weapons the instant they show me they want to stop hurting others and extend the hand of peace."

"That's beautiful," Erika said, smiling. America's war in the Middle East was often on her mind, even though she had no friends or family fighting in it. She looked at the sailors again and decided that had just changed.

"Thanks," Zeck replied. "It keeps me going over there." He looked at Chas and Torrence. "This is our second tour. We grew up in the same Virginia town working around ships. My dad served in Vietnam. Chas's uncle and Torrence's mother were in the first Gulf War."

"Nice," Kate said with a nod. "Sarah's a singer and Erika and I are actresses, as you know." She turned from them and spoke into her phone. "Dad? Pick us up outside the Banana. Plus three guys." Putting away her cell, she turned back to the sailors. "You boys know not to brag about being with us, right?"

"Of course we won't brag!" Zeck responded immediately. "I understand if you want to keep this on the down low. I think you're married, though."

"She is," said Erika, "but it's no reason she can't have a little fun. Neither is religion." She wiggled her cross at Zeck and then tucked it back inside her shirt.

"I agree on that," Zeck said. He put away his own cross. "I just don't want the lead singer of the Black Crowes mad at me. I'm a big fan."




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 04



"He won't be mad," Kate declared. "Chris is off on tour fucking groupies. I'm free to sleep around until he gets back. No worries."

"Well, all right then," Chas said, standing up. "Let's head out, ladies!" He grinned at Kate and offered her his elbow. Kate stood and slipped her arm into his while Erika did the same with Zeck and Sarah followed suit with Torrence. They walked to the door, ignoring jealous stares from all around. The black van sat outside the club waiting to meet them.

"Greetings," said the huge blond man behind the wheel as they opened the vehicle's back door and got inside.

"Whoa," Chas breathed. "It's Snake Plissken. I thought he was dead."

"Kurt," Kate's adopted father corrected. "Kurt Russell. This is..." He trailed off.

"Tim Robbins," the unassuming brown-haired man in the van's front seat completed. "You may remember me from such films as —"

"'Shawshank Redemption'!" interrupted Zeck. "I guess you girls really are famous. Love your work, man." He laughed and leaned across Kurt to shake hands with Tim.

"Thanks," Tim said, smiling as they settled into the van's seats and buckled themselves down. Erika got in last and closed the door. Kurt put the van in gear and pulled out. "Now you sailors know the rules, right?" Tim asked. "You're drug and disease free, this is a one night deal and you'll tell no one about it."

"Right," said Torrence. "We already covered that in the club." He looked at Kate and Erika. "I didn't know movie stars picked up guys like this."

"It happens now and then," Erika answered with a shrug. "I got picked up by Katherine Heigl in a lesbian bar myself a while back."

"Whoa," Chas said with a surprised tone. "The 'Under Siege 2' girl? She's a lesbian?"

"Bi, actually. I can give you her number if you want it." Erika winked. "Majandra Delfino, Emilie de Ravin and Alicia Witt's numbers too." Katherine had introduced Erika to Majandra and Emilie, whom Katherine had acted alongside and befriended on the TV series "Roswell". All three young actresses were free-spirited and bisexual. Unlike them, Alicia was not Erika's lover but Erika nevertheless knew she was always thrilled to meet new men.

"Maybe when we get back from Karachi," Chas said. He and the other two sailors grinned wide. "Do lots of celebrities just pick up people in bars?"

"It doesn't happen as often as you think," replied Kurt. "You boys are lucky. Don't forget that or abuse it. Do I have to tell you what will happen if you do?"

"No, sir," Torrence said, saluting. He then made an odd gesture. "Don't worry. We're all into freedom of the body and mind here."

Erika smiled, recognizing a Friendship credo in his words. She and the other celebrities in the van returned the sailor's gesture. We scored very well tonight, Erika thought. Now I know these guys are okay. The Friendship doesn't let anyone in without a full background investigation. She frowned at a look Zeck was giving her. "What's the matter?"

The navigator paused. He motioned Erika to scoot a bit away from the others and followed her as she did so. "That cross you're wearing," he said in a low tone. "I've never seen it before. What church do you attend?"

"I'm a Scientologist," Erika replied. She frowned as he went pale. "Is there a problem?"

Zeck did not answer for a long instant. "May I speak freely?"

"Go ahead." This guy is cute, Erika prayed to herself, and he seemed nice up until now. Please don't let him be a jerk!

"I have this hobby," Zeck said. "When I'm not manning the ship's radar or radio, I like to mess around on the computers. I'm a hacker, part of a loose internet coalition called 'Anonymous'. We like to work for freedom of speech and fight oppression."

Erika scowled. "I think I've heard of you guys. Aren't you pranksters that take over chat rooms and argue with everyone?"

"Yeah. We goof around when we get bored. Some call us criminals, and I have to admit a few of us are. Most of us are just well meaning do-gooders, though. I helped some cops bust a pedophile on Craigslist last month." The navigator smiled briefly and then grimaced again. "We're not that big yet, however we are growing. I hate to tell you this, but your church is one of the Internet groups we're planning to target one of these days. A lot of us don't like what they've done to break up families and force certain websites offline."

"I'm not part of that."

"I didn't say you were. You are part of the main Scientology church, though, right? My people don't like your people. You've done a lot of bad things over the years. Some of the hackers I know think you're a cult that only exists to charge people to impair their own bodies and minds."

"Do you agree with them?" Erika was growing more unsettled with his every word. She noticed that everyone else in the van was listening.

"Sometimes," Zeck replied. "Most of the time, I think you've grown into a religion, like it or not, and that you are all people and therefore deserve respect. I'm willing to admit I'm often entertained by some of you too, despite the bad views I know your church holds. I'm in the minority on all that, though, and sometimes I have to go along to get along."

Erika stared at him as he exhaled before continuing. Damn it, she thought. This guy is one of Scientology's vehement critics. I've seen them protesting our services and online but I've never been this close to one before. Shit! 

"We're not really lined up against you yet," Zeck went on, "but in the future it may escalate. I've seen the attitudes my fellow Anons and others display towards your people and I know the reasons behind them. Your side has shown a lot of venom too. I personally consider your church as dangerous a foe as any I've fought in the Middle East."

I don't want to throw this guy and his friends out of the van, Erika thought. I really liked them before now. She looked at Kate and Sarah, who were clenching their fists but silently telling Erika the decision was hers to make. The three of them had picked up guys together enough times to enjoy a sort of telepathy. Kurt and Tim were looking away, their eyes on the road. If the girls told them to stop, they would. Erika turned back to Zeck and racked her brain for an idea.

"What about what you said in the bar?" she asked when one came to her. "About wanting to make peace with your enemies?"

Zeck gave her a strange expression. "There's no way I can ever forget all the things your people have done. I also don't think your people could ever want peace with their opponents."

"But what if one of us did?" Erika contradicted. She recognized the opportunity to address a lot of angst she'd been feeling lately. "I'm not a hater or a fanatic like a lot of Scientologists are. Our code of honor means something to me and I follow it. I don't subscribe to the abusive practices of my religion and I have vowed not to continue them. I even donate money to help our victims without giving my name or telling anyone besides my friends. I know others who are the same way." 

She mentally pushed her irritation into her stomach. "A few months ago Tom Cruise told me I wasn't doing enough to promote our church to the public. I told him that I find it better to just live my beliefs and respect those of others without proselytizing. You can call Alicia to confirm that if you need to. She was there when it happened. I do my best to only live the good in my beliefs and avoid the bad. I just endorse my church if prompted, I don't evangelize. You didn't even know what religion I was before now, right?"

Zeck nodded, doubt in his eyes.

"Two houses," Chas quoted, mocking them, "both alike in dignity. In fair Los Angeles where we lay our scene..."

"Shut up, Chas!" Torrence yelled, glaring at Zeck. "You better not ruin this for us, bro! Secure your bigotry up your shit chute. This girl seems okay to me." He smiled at Erika, who beamed thanks back at him.

"I am not a bigot!" Zeck spat. He turned back to Erika and frowned. "I apologize if what I say offends you. You would know why I say it if you would look at the websites I've seen about your church."

"I have seen them," Erika hissed. "I lurk a lot on their message boards. Those sites are a good way to find out why some people I meet treat me as they do. I'm sorry that my religion bothers you, Zeck." She took off her pendant and dangled it at him. "I have to say something, though. If this is all you see, you don't see me. I'm not what you think I am." She rolled up her pendant's chain and stuck the cross in the left pocket of her blouse. "I'm a good person."

Zeck was silent for a moment. He frowned as everyone but Kurt and Tim looked at him. "Are you sincere? You're not trying to mess with me or convert me?"

"Convert you?" Erika gaped. "Why would I want to do that? A person's religion is their business. Why would I want to deny them freedom of choice? Neither Kate nor Sarah nor Kurt nor Tim is Scientologist. Neither are any of the girls whose numbers I said I'd give you. I have no problem hanging out with them. They're more fun than a lot of my church's followers, as you probably know." She put her hand on Zeck's wrist and looked directly at him. "All we want is to give you and your friends the night to remember Kate was talking about earlier. If you'd rather be bitter, that's your choice. Do you not trust me? Then how about this?"

She unfastened her seat belt and lunged at Zeck, grabbing his face before he could stop her. The navigator gasped as Erika kissed him hard on the lips, ruffling his hair in the same motion. I am speaking the truth, Erika tried to tell him with her every move. Please stop thinking I'm some evil demon succubus!

Zeck opened his jaws at the tap of her tongue, his hands gripping her shoulders. Erika licked the inside of his mouth once and then withdrew. "Well?" she asked, smiling. Their contact had been electric. "What do you think now?"

"I think I may need to re-evaluate you," Zeck said after another pause, scratching his head. He sighed and looked away. "I'm really sorry."

"You should be," Erika fumed. She leaned away from the navigator and crossed her arms while keeping her eyes on his. "We're not all drones. I'm certainly not. I'm a little disgusted with you now but I'm willing to put it aside if you just give me a chance to prove I am what I say I am."

"All right," Zeck said. He looked at his fellow sailors, who were both glowering. "I will give you that chance. I honestly liked you before I knew what religion you were. Maybe you're right. I could be in the wrong here."

"You're not completely in the wrong," Sarah said. "Erika knows what her church has done. Kate and I can both vouch that she's not involved with any of that. If she was, we never would allow her to be part of our lives."

"Let alone our lover," Kate added.

"You mentioned my prison film a few minutes ago," said Tim, who had turned towards them. "Let me give you some metaphors from it. Erika's only guilty by association. She's also a bit institutionalized. We're trying to cure her of that. You've probably had fantasies about such things, right sailor?"

"Uh, yeah," Zeck confessed. "Mostly about Catherine Bell, though. I didn't know she was..." He pointed at Erika and then dropped his arm. "Never mind. If you really want to make peace, I can accept that. Unlike many Anons, I have a forgiving nature." 

"Good," Erika replied. She offered him her hand and smiled when he shook it. "Don't preach any more to me, okay? I don't need or want to hear it."

"I won't," the navigator promised. "Can you please kiss me again?"

Erika laughed, then leaned towards him and did as requested. Zeck fully returned her emotion this time, touching her tongue with his own. Chas gave them a round of applause and then turned and kissed Kate. Torrence did the same with Sarah.

"Drive faster, Snake," Tim said to Kurt, grinning. "I think these kids need rooms." The other actor nodded and increased the van's speed.

***

They drove through L.A.'s downtown and freeways into the suburbs of Encino. Traffic was heavy as always, so the trip took just over three hours. Eventually they entered the grounds of a large cream-colored mansion ringed by a white stone and black iron wall. Two German Shepherds and a Chihuahua barked at their vehicle from the lawn. The dogs ran around the van as it pulled into the driveway. Kurt parked, then got out and gave the animals each a pat and a whisper that settled them down.

The sailors and celebrities had talked more during their journey and gotten to know each other better. They had exchanged stories about life at sea and life in the spotlight. Erika had given Chas, Zeck and Torrence her other girlfriends' phone numbers while Kate had provided contact information for Liv Tyler, Anna Paquin and Fairuza Balk. Erika and Zeck also talked more about Erika's religion. She nodded and took in what he said about the bad side while he gave similar reactions as she described the good. When Erika mentioned the Friendship's plans for reforming Scientology, Zeck smiled at this news and asked if Anonymous could help.

"Maybe," Erika replied. "You'll have to be careful, though. Not every one of us appreciates people like you. If you want to contact the viceroy in charge, his name is..."

Zeck looked surprised at the name. Then he smiled. "I should have known. I've talked to that guy online. He always has seemed a bit over-tolerant. In fact, up until now I thought for sure he was one of your people."

"He is," said Erika. "Mutual friends are everywhere, you know."

"Right, I should remember that."

"Let's drop this subject, okay?" Torrence asked. "I'm sick of it."

"I just want to say one last thing," Zeck replied. "Erika, I don't believe I will ever understand your people. However, I now like at least one of them. Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Erika said, thinking of the message boards they both visited. "Seriously, don't." She didn't think she would mention him to too many people either. It would be too easy for others to take her acquaintance with Zeck the wrong way.

"I too have something to say," Chas broke in. "It is better to burn out than fade away."

Laughter was shared all around as they exited the van and headed towards the mansion. Kurt and Tim's common-law wives were waiting for them on the porch.

Goldie Hawn and Susan Sarandon were a pair of middle-aged blonde and brunette women clad in white dresses. They smiled as they looked over the sailors. "Hey boys," Susan said. "You fresh from the war?"

"We're on leave from it," replied Torrence. "We're headed back day after tomorrow."

Susan frowned. "I see. Kick some ass for me, okay? I want our troops to all come home soon."

"We will," said Zeck. "By the way, I've always enjoyed watching you both in films. My favorite movie of yours is 'Dead Man Walking'." He looked at Goldie. "I like you best in 'Overboard'."

"Yeah," Chas added with a grin. "You two are awesome MILFs."

"Thanks," Goldie said. "You seamen are welcome to come upstairs later if my daughter and her friends don't take all your energy." Susan beamed in concurrence.

Kurt and Tim stepped to their women's sides. Their expressions told the sailors that Goldie and Susan would be quite fatigued if and when the younger men came to visit them. Zeck and his friends nodded and did not approach.

"You kids are welcome to use the pool area out back," said Susan. "Refreshments are in the kitchen if you need them. The guest cottage has enough rooms for everyone to stay over. Girls, Eva wanted me to tell you all not to scream too much. She has an essay due tomorrow and is upstairs working hard on it."

Erika rolled her eyes. "Okay, Mom." Eva Amurri was Susan's real-life daughter and had acted onscreen with Susan and Erika in "The Banger Sisters". She was a high school senior and a bit more conservative than her mother was, so she wasn't that into swinging or dating yet. Everyone respected her wishes, as Eva had a bad temper and her rages were truly something to dread.

The four older celebrities stepped away from the front door so that the young people could enter. They then said farewell and walked away. Kate led the others through the house to the kitchen, where they observed the fruit, drinks and sandwiches laid out. They did not touch them for the moment, other things on their minds.

Sarah unlocked the mansion's back door and led them into the rear patio area. A large swimming pool flanked by two palm trees and several shrubs dominated the gray-walled courtyard. It had a Jacuzzi at one end and a diving board at the other. Chairs and a picnic table were set up on the wooden deck around the pool. Towels, floats and other swimming-related devices lay scattered about on the ground. Sarah turned to the sailors and gave them a sly expression. "You Navy boys are okay with doing things in the water, right?"

"That depends," said Torrence. "Did you bring condoms?"

"Right here," Erika said, taking a box out of her purse and holding it up. "You get two each. Susan has more inside for later." She grinned as Chas took the box from her and passed it around.

The sailors got into a huddle and whispered at each other. Erika frowned as she looked on while the more experienced Kate and Sarah beamed in anticipation. "Get undressed," Kate advised Erika when she saw the guys unbuttoning their uniform shirts and pants.

Erika shrugged and took her clothes off while observing everyone else do likewise. No one seemed embarrassed or over-excited. Erika had fucked Kate, Sarah and other people in outdoor and indoor swimming pools before. She was not nervous about doing it again. She was anxious to add the sailors to her conquests but she also knew that things would be best if they took their time. Thus, she suppressed her emotions and kept herself calm until everyone had removed their garments and piled them on the deck's chairs. Soon they were all naked and standing before each other. Erika tweaked her thick red nipples and then ran two fingers through her fertile and itching blonde bush.

Zeck had the longest cock of the three sailors, she noted. Chas's was smallest and widest and Torrence's was somewhere in between. None of them had anything larger than Erika had taken before, or so it appeared at the moment. All the men had donned condoms in preparation for what lay ahead. They put their spares on the side of the pool and stood at ready attention.

Kate's cunt was shaven while her breasts were small with peach colored aureoles. Her body was thin and pale in the moonlight. Sarah had pert tits with dark puffy nipples and a vermillion airstrip over her pussy. Plenty of curves showed around her stomach and waist. Each girl put her hands on her hips and gave the other two content smiles before turning to the men standing beside them.

"Let's fuck!" Sarah said. She crooked a finger and beckoned Torrence close.

Erika stepped towards Zeck, feeling his eyes on her. Chas shook his head and blocked her path. "I think my bro's still nervous about you. Can I have you first?"

"Okay," Erika said with a shrug. She let the large sailor take her in his arms and kissed him when he leaned down towards her. In her peripheral vision, she could see Kate exchanging similar gestures with Zeck.

Sarah was doing the same with Torrence, hugging him tight and running her tongue over his dark skin. Her red hair shook and her eyes flashed. Erika could hear her moaning as the black sailor stroked her breasts, leaning down between kisses to lick her neck and nipples. Sarah returned Torrence's fondles, panting like an engine as he pressed himself against her front.

Chas was moving his lips across Erika's face and throat while his hands caressed the curves of her back. Erika could feel a heat rising inside her body. She threw back her head and let out a cheer. The neighbors wouldn't care, she believed. Susan's property had a reputation for producing strange noises in the evening. No one would be disturbed to hear more such sounds. The older couples in the house knew what the young people were doing. Brown University had accepted Eva last semester. She did not need to study that much, Erika thought.




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 04



Zeck muttered something as Kate hugged him. "Wait," she said in reply. Kate then kissed the top of the shorter man's head and pushed his lips towards her breasts. The navigator nodded and followed her instructions. Erika could feel his thoughts on her, though. Maybe he really does fantasize about saving me, she told herself. He wants to violate the "Star Trek" Prime Directive, to boldly go where none of his kind has gone before.

She decided to ignore him for now. Never mind that she could handle her own life and didn't need to be saved. Erika had always been one to focus on the lover immediately in front of her. Right now, that was Chas.

"Let's get in the water," Chas suggested, stopping his kisses and looking at her. "I love it there."

Erika nodded. She did too. In her childhood and early teenage years, she had won several swimming competitions. These days water was among her favorite environments for exercise and sex. She beamed at Chas and stepped out of his arms, then ran off and leapt into the pool's deep end with a whooping laugh. He dashed to the diving board and used it to pursue her.

Kate motioned Zeck towards the Jacuzzi. It was separated from the pool and had enough heat to warm them up to each other. He nodded and followed her lead. Hand in hand, they walked to the warm tub and entered it. They then resumed their cuddling and making out.

Meanwhile Sarah moved away from Torrence and activated a small portable stereo beside a deck chair. Her song "Spin it like a DJ" came on and she grinned at the black sailor. "Nice tune," he told her as they embraced once more. Torrence spun Sarah around and stepped with her into the pool's shallow end.

The three couples moved around in the water, drenching their naked bodies and frolicking at ease. Sarah and Torrence laughed and hugged, fingers traveling over each other's torsos. Kate pushed herself against Zeck and kissed him while reaching over his shoulders to turn on the Jacuzzi's jets. Erika swum one lap of the pool's width to mock Chas and then came up for air, treading water and beaming like a mermaid. The large sailor paced her and then surfaced beside her. He lunged at her but she dodged away and splashed him with a chuckle. He threw up a forearm to block, then smirked and splashed Erika back.

Zeck gave voice to a groan as Kate pushed him onto a jet stream. Warm bubbles were shooting up his rear and tickling his insides. Kate was teasing his cock and nipples with her fingers, her lips sneering as she moved. Zeck laughed and gave her several gasps of pleasure. His hands found and fondled her clit and aureoles. Kate clutched him around the neck and kissed him as he brought her to ecstasy. When she was moaning as hard as he was, he moved his hands to her rear and squeezed it before pushing her sheath forward and onto his rock-hard sword. Kate smiled at the impalement and kissed Zeck, her body returning his every thrust.

Torrence and Sarah coordinated their making out to Sarah's music. The black sailor spun the redhead around in the shallow water with every high note and pushed her towards the wall at repetitive chords. Sarah let him lead, caught up in the moment. She was a girl on the verge of orgasm and pushed her partner towards the same. He returned her affections. They kissed and stroked each other as the custom-mixed CD switched to the next song, too busy causing spasms within their bodies to notice anything else.

Chas and Erika ceased their splashing duel and embraced, kicking their legs to keep themselves afloat. Chas kissed Erika's lips and his arms came around her. Erika found herself thinking back to all the sexual things she had done in pools before.

First she had swam and skinny-dipped with her brothers as a child. Erika had never done anything else with them, as she and her siblings weren't attracted to each other. Still, none had minded swimming together nude.

As she got older, Erika's hobby of swimming developed alongside that of her acting. When she matured, Erika began looking at other men and women who swam alongside her and thinking about what it would be like to be with them. Time passed and she got curioser and curioser. Her third coupling with her first boyfriend was in a pool and she had tried to get almost every lover she had since into the water also. Some were afraid of the idea and rejected it. Others leapt in with both feet but then found themselves hopeless at maneuvering in the medium. Erika was glad Chas was neither of these.

She stroked the tattoo on the large sailor's arm and kissed his neck. Looking over his chest and back, she spied several more tattoos. Dates and logos were beside the names and faces of women she was sure he had in other ports. Erika added the latter images to her own fantasies. She did not need to be alone in the heart of this explorer. She did give him treasure to remember her by, though, stroking his cock and his muscles. From Chas's whispers and sighs, Erika knew she would soon be added to his body's list.

Kate cried out from the Jacuzzi. Zeck was pushing a jet up her ass now and had her seated over it as he thrust his manhood into her tingling pussy. She moaned at the double penetration and squeezed his neck. The navigator slapped her shoulders, asking her if he was better than her husband was at loving. Kate shook her head and upset Zeck, causing him to stroke her harder and deepen his thrusts.

Sarah continued her dance with Torrence in the shallows. The new song on the radio did not have a melody conducive to lovemaking, so now their motions had little rhyme or reason. They excited each other nonetheless.

As they moved, Sarah reflected on how she often saw her swinging as a bad habit, a mistake that got her carried away and then too often left her in the dust. She kept doing it, though, as she was both addicted to sex and holding out hope that one day she would find someone special. Groupies, other rock stars, family members such as Kate and Kate's brother Oliver, boyfriends and girlfriends of every stripe had succumbed to her advances. Sarah loved them all and kept looking for the person who sparked her heart. Torrence was not that person, she knew, but he would do fine for the meantime. She let out a moan as he stabbed his cock into her snatch and pushed her into the wall of the pool.

Erika and Chas continued to create waves in each other while the water lashed around them. They bobbed up and down on the surface of the deep end, hitting the pool's floor on occasion, as they stroked one another. The music thrummed from the stereo, Sarah's voice fading and that of Chris Daughtry taking over. Erika fucked Chas at the speed of sound, taking his organ into her tunnel and rolling with him on the swells of the pool. They crashed into each other and went up in emotional flames, caressing nerves with flesh and fingers while breathing into one another's mouths and hair. The water around them was resisting their movements and deadening their sensations, so they were able to take things slow. 

Water was the element that brought life, though, and both Erika and Chas enjoyed being inside it. They let the heat of each other overcome the low temperature of the pool as they cuddled close. He motioned her towards a ladder near the diving board and she moved with him. Taking up position on one of the ladder's steps, Erika opened her legs as Chas clutched her shoulders and shoved his manhood in and out of her cunt.

Laughter and dumb dirty jokes came off Chas's lips as he fucked Erika. She ignored them for the most part. The large sailor was not her first lover with an odd sense of humor. At least he still seems to care deep down, she thought, for his friends and for me.

Zeck shook as he pushed his body into Kate's. He and the other two sailors had enjoyed girls on shore leave many times but this was a new experience. The navigator had been a fan of the Black Crowes' music until a roommate at his first duty station had played it too much and turned him off to it. Eventually that sailor was mustered out, so Zeck relaxed. Soon he was able to enjoy the Black Crowes again. Then he saw Kate in "Almost Famous" and got attracted to her. He felt insanely jealous when he found out she was married to the Crowes' lead singer Chris Robinson but put it aside. There was no way he and Kate would ever meet.

Now we have, though, Zeck reflected, and we're fucking. Another one of my fantasies is nearby and I am sure I will get her before the night is over. I'll get Sarah, too. These girls are man-eaters, I think. Chew them up and spit them out, then move on and do it again. Maybe they enjoy it. Perhaps they remember every lover and like amassing more. I want to hate people like them but I can't find it in myself to do that. Better just to respond to each moment as it comes and enjoy what I can.

He was unaware that Erika often had similar thoughts about her lovers. She was having such thoughts now as Chas fucked her against the ladder. The cold metal vibrated against her skin, distracting her. Chas pushed into her every time she moved away, daring and relentless. She fucked back, trying to concentrate on him and nothing else.

My beast of lust is always the same, Erika said to herself. It rises inside and I cannot ignore it. Sometimes it scares people. It scares me, too. My first boyfriend found he preferred someone else to me and so have other lovers. Alicia hasn't been the only one to outright reject me either. I try to brush it off even though it still bothers me a lot of the time. I take what I want and can get and then I keep looking for more. It is not in my beast or in me to ever be satisfied. Laughing at her realization, Erika leaned into Chas and returned his strokes.

The lovers steered each other on a course of pleasure, rubbing each other and crying out. Zeck climaxed first, proud to stake his claim on another man's territory. 

Kate followed the navigator seconds later. As she reached orgasm, she wondered if Chris would ever get pissed off that she insisted he not be her only man. She would deal with that when and if it happened, Kate told herself. She just hoped they would be able to stay friends no matter what and raise any children they might have together too.

Sarah was next to come, thrashing around and wailing as Torrence pushed back and forth inside her and pinched her nipples. This sailor is fun, she thought. His hands are strong from constant tying of knots and other shipboard tasks. He's also very adept in the water, as all sailors should be. I hope his friends are the same.

In the deep end, Chas grunted and pushed his cock into Erika. She nodded, sensing his intent. Letting go of the ladder, the couple moved underwater to the deepest part of the pool. Once they arrived, Chas clenched Erika tight and shook as his flare went off. Erika responded seconds later and let out several bubbles as demolition boomed inside her body. She smiled and kissed Chas hard when they both came up for air, giggling freely when he made a jest about what he had just done. 

"That should have cleared your bilge," Chas said.

"It did," Erika whispered in his ear. "Thank you." She moved her lips back to the large sailor's and touched his tongue with her own.

Torrence reached his own orgasm a few seconds later and pulled out of Sarah. He exited the pool and shook himself dry, then turned and gave the redhead a raised thumb. "Thanks, babe. You are as intense as your music."

"Thank you too," Sarah told him with a smile. She looked around and saw that the other two couples were also separating. "So, who's next?"

The men caught their breath and smiled at the women. Kate and Zeck got out of the Jacuzzi and nodded at each other, then walked to the side of the pool. Erika and Chas looked up as their friends stood over them.

"I want you, Penny Lane," Chas told Kate. "Not in the water, though. You look more like bed candy to me."

"Fine," Kate replied, shrugging. "You can sleep with me in my room later. For now, I'll take the girl you just screwed."

She jumped into the pool and swam towards Erika as Chas dropped his jaw. Erika laughed and accepted Kate's hug. They kissed and moved into each other, hands roaming over each other's backs as tongues buffed lips and necks.

Sarah saw what Kate and Erika were doing and got excited. She had enjoyed lesbian loving with them and many other girls. This included Aimee and Kelly Osbourne, who were both spitfires with few limits to their kinks. Sarah had her own kinks also. Fucking girls in direct view of guys was one of them. She knew there were few things that helped guys recover more quickly and was also turned on by it herself.

Calling out to Kate and Erika like a mythic Siren, she swam over to them. They stopped fondling each other's breasts and turned to embrace Sarah while treading water. The girls exchanged a three-way kiss and then moved to the shallow end of the pool while continuing to give each other synchronized strokes. Erika was not as experienced with Sarah as Kate was but she was still good at finding her nerves. They stood together once they found stable ground beneath their feet and moved their bodies against each other, caressing in cadence. Zeck, Chas and Torrence watched them, clapping and chuckling in glee.

Shaking his head, Chas exited the water and took off his used condom. He put the balloon in a trash bin and then strode back to the side of the pool. His eyes on the Sapphic exchange in the shallows, he stroked himself back to full erection. Zeck and Torrence followed his example and disposed of their soggy balloons. All the sailors put their spare condoms on once their organs were prepared.

Kate, Sarah and Erika paid them little attention, intent on their own loving. They traded hot kisses and nips at each other's breasts and necks, taking turns sticking two or three fingers up each other's aching cunts and stroking vigorously. The water around them loosened up their bodies but they still clenched each other hard. Cries of joy split the air, accompanying the music from the stereo. The three girls spun around and shook against one another, growing more and more excited.

Erika gyrated in orgasm first as Kate and Sarah sucked at her left and right nipples respectively. They also each crooked two fingers in her folds, their other hands rubbing each other's torsos and legs. Erika's hands were fondling their legs and tits. Erika waited until she had calmed down and then pressed Sarah's clit with her left hand and Kate's with her right. Her girlfriends both shook with multiple small explosions. They beamed at her in thanks and kissed her cheeks.

"Ready again, boys?" Kate asked, turning back to the sailors. Zeck, Torrence and Chas chorused hurrahs, all eager to get back in the action. They leapt into the pool as one and swam over to join the girls.

Zeck pointed at Erika and she nodded, ready to be with him now. Kate stayed beside them like a guardian angel. Chas and Torrence both swam towards Sarah. Torrence wanted Erika and Kate too, but he knew he could get them later. The night was young and they also had tomorrow.

If these girls are willing, Torrence thought, my bros and I would be happy to stay with them and then hurry back to our ship at the last minute. I'm not going AWOL for them, it's too important to me to serve my country, but I will enjoy myself as much as possible while I am free. I would want anyone whose freedom I secure by fighting to do the same. He smiled at his thoughts and moved to take Sarah's ass while Chas kissed her and thrust his cock into her twitching pussy.

At the other end of the pool's shallows, Erika stood before Zeck while Kate covered her back. Just go with this, she told herself. He doesn't hate you. You don't hate him. Neither one of you is a threat to the other. You could even help each other if you would just both open your eyes.

A Nickelback song came on the radio as Erika and Zeck stared at each other. Kate laughed when she heard it. Prison gates won't open up for me. On these hands and knees I'm crawling... Oh, I reach for you... All I need is you! Come please, I'm calling...

Nodding at the words, Erika and Zeck swam towards each other and embraced. Zeck returned her expressions of acceptance and opened his mouth to admit her tongue. Her nipples stabbed into his chest while his cock speared her loins. Each was very sensitive in body and mind. They still feared each other to a degree but were willing to work things out as they needed to. Kate stood beside them like a moderator, pushing her lips and fingers against their muscles when she saw things getting too hot between them or within herself.

"You both need to do something," she advised them during the caressing. "Look for truth as it is, not as other people tell you it should be perceived. Drop all your expectations and take things as they come. Give yourselves to each other if that's what you want. Don't be afraid. Men and women cannot grow together and become better people if they won't put their differences away and listen to each other. I heard my mother tell men this several times growing up. I continue to pass it on."

Zeck and Erika acknowledged Kate's words and thanked her by each squeezing one of her tits. Kate kissed each of them on the cheek and then let them get back to their own coupling.

Erika argued with Zeck using her hands and the motions of her body. She insisted that she knew best for herself and that she would listen to him but not let him change her without her cooperation. Zeck directed her attention to various locations on his body and hers repeatedly, giving her counterpoints and reminding her that she did not know everything. Erika did not respond well when he mocked her or showed anger but she appreciated it when he was nice to her and reasonably fulfilled her needs. Most of these moments were after-effects of direction Kate gave the navigator.

The music swelled in their ears. Show me what it's like to be the last one standing. Teach me wrong from right, and I'll show you what I can be!

Say it for me, say it to me, and I'll leave this life behind me. Save me it if it's worth saving me... Hurry, I'm falling...

Erika and Zeck massaged each other with the emotion of the song, fondling arms and chests. Their legs rubbed into each other and their heartbeats swelled with the motion of the pool.

Kate followed their exchanges, intent on forcing them to get along by whatever means necessary. She had enjoyed Zeck's attentions towards her earlier and did not want him to leave Erika or her upset. Zeck was a good observer, Kate thought, save for the fact that he also needed to learn to lighten up. The world did not revolve around his views or his desires. The same was true for Erika but she had learned that lesson long ago. Kate pushed her breasts into Erika's side as she reflected on this, rubbing the heat of her pussy on her girlfriend's thigh.

Zeck and Erika tasted one another's mouths, pinching each other and moaning. They increasingly moved in sync, their emotions exuding and washing away on the water around. Their love organs hardened, their minds and bodies aroused. Soon they were screaming for each other instead of at each other, both fully into the other person's mindset and ready to move away from their initial impressions of each other if not forget them. They were joined now, flesh and spirit. Moods struck them but they were able to predict and respond as needed. Kate gave them her goddess's smile and clapped them each on the back.

Sarah, Chas and Torrence had their own storm going on nearby. The two sailors launched their organs into Sarah's holes and she vibrated against them. The water lubricated both her slots along with her own nectar, keeping her body open to both men. She had her arms around Chas's neck as she moved. First she shoved herself forward into Chas and then she let herself collapse back into Torrence. They followed her motions and caressed her breasts, torso and hair.




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 04



Each man felt good and Sarah would love to be with either alone but both together was even more wonderful. The redhead had not enjoyed two men in a long while, as not all men were willing to share a bed or a woman with other men. She was pleased these sailors had no problem doing either.

Too bad they aren't into each other, though, Sarah thought. I would have loved to see that, too.

Beside them in the pool, Zeck and Erika continued to respond to each other and Kate's projections. Erika fully opened her legs at last and Zeck shoved his cock into her slit. Erika screamed in both joy and pain as the spear split her apart, shaking around it and clinging to Zeck. He beamed at her and hugged her, his hopes fulfilled. 

Maybe not all my hopes, he thought. Never mind, though. I'll take this for now. Erika's changed my mind quite a bit with her very presence. I don't know if I'll ever again look at anyone the way I did before.

Erika sobbed into his shoulder, feeling a similar transition. From now on, I will anticipate people who feel about me the way Zeck did initially and not worry so much about them, she decided. He's the first serious case like him to which I've been attracted and he became my friend. I think I needed to go through this. There could be many more people like him down the road, guys and girls. Especially if news of my religion's bad side spreads. I have to be ready to show people I'm not messed up or sinister. Zeck, you will help me with that, right?

Kate pressed her torso against Erika's back, wrapping her arms about Erika and Zeck's bodies. Helping them learn to cooperate was a good aphrodisiac for her. Kate's nipples and clit were taut and her cunt was leaking like a sieve. The water of the pool flowed around them, its motion sparking new sensations in Kate's body. The slow steady chill of the pool followed the firm speedy heat of the Jacuzzi. Combined with the emotion around her and Erika and Zeck's touches, the change in tempo was enough to give Kate another powerful orgasm once she was able to settle herself down.

Zeck followed Kate after a few more seconds. Erika gasped with each of his spurts, holding her own climax back. Zeck was giving her an enormous sense of accomplishment and she wanted to appreciate that. She tried to ignore that both Zeck and Kate were coming beside her and that Sarah and the other two sailors were also gasping and shaking as they exploded nearby.

Sarah shook her red hair and moaned deep in her throat, exchanging kisses with Chas and Torrence in her afterglow. Enough, Erika decided as she heard Sarah thanking them. I will abandon myself now.

"Yes!" she cried as Zeck fired his final burst. "Yes! Thank you!" Erika cried her emotion again as Zeck and Kate grinned and kissed her cheeks.

The sailors and celebrities split off from each other and got out of the pool. They passed towels around and dried off one another's bodies. The group, especially Zeck and Erika, exchanged many smiles and nods. They were content with each other now and both knew it would be difficult for them to conflict again. They beamed at their friends and each other, proud with this knowledge. Nickelback hit a chord of victory on the radio nearby.

"I should give you my e-mail and user names," Zeck told Erika. "I'm probably on a lot of those message boards where you lurk. Other forgiving Anons are also. I think we could learn a lot from you."

"Communication is the key to improving life," Erika concurred, quoting her church's scripture. "I think I can give you guys some perspective."

"I'd like that," said Zeck. "Just never lie to us, okay? We really don't appreciate lies."

"I hope you can tell the difference between lies and truth," Erika replied. "Sometimes that's difficult on the Net, even more so than in real life. It takes effort many people aren't willing to put forward. Sometimes perception has everything to do with reality." Zeck nodded in agreement with her words.

They all took deep breaths and calmed down, panting with the emotions they had just traded. "Okay," Chas said after a few minutes. "I think I'm ready again." He checked his cock and frowned. "No, wait. I'm not. Sorry."

"Can I get you next, Torrence?" Erika asked. "I haven't had very many black guys."

"Sure," Torrence said, grinning at her. "Just give me another second or two to get back my strength. I think I may also need another condom."

"No, you don't," Kate replied. "You're wearing a heavy duty brand. Did you not notice that before now?"

The sailors each looked at their groins and raised their eyebrows. Their condoms were indeed still firm around their cocks and had not slipped off even as the organs deflated. 

"Whoa," said Chas. "I may have to recommend this brand to the SEALs. You know, for our guns?"

"Shut up, Chas!" Torrence snapped, bristling. "You're making me nauseous."

"I think we need to get these guys excited again," Erika said to Kate and Sarah. She moved close to her girlfriends and spread out a large beach towel. Then she lay her body down, beckoning with her fingers. "Triangle?"

The two cousins grinned and joined Erika on the towel. After kissing one another, they settled into the named shape. Each girl pressed her face into the closest pussy while also reaching to caress hips, rumps, and breasts. The sailors sat on the deck beside them as they looked on. Erika was licking Kate's snatch, Kate lapped Sarah's, and Sarah tasted Erika's. They exchanged gasps, touches and moans throughout the coupling, their skin shining as their sensations increased.

"Damn!" Chas said. "This is really getting me ready." He turned to Zeck and made another quip. "Improving one facet also helps the others, huh?"

The navigator frowned and shook his head. "Whatever."

"Yeah, man," Torrence agreed. "I don't think anyone but you got that! Enough with your crap jesting, okay?" He stroked his cock, watching the girls.

Erika was meanwhile shaking under Sarah's attentions. Another song of Sarah's was on the radio now and Erika found it very appealing. This is my freedom, she sang along in her mind. The sun comes out from hiding, and I still can't get enough. I'm in love with this, with life and pleasure. I forever want to get caught up in the moment, enjoy it till the day I die.

Swimming in the sheer vibrations, strip away your limitations!

Nodding, Erika gave in to the new waves of rapture in her cunt. Sarah and Kate did the same. The girls smiled at each other as their triangle broke up after they had climaxed.

Always at times like these, Erika felt herself as present and yet as an observer. She was a creator of ecstasy and had it in her own body, too. She was grateful for both what she had done and how others had assisted her. She was comfortable with all they had done together, not disturbed at all. I was bothered before, she thought, but I have advanced now. Never shall I be how I was again.

Kate leaned in and kissed Erika's smile of satisfaction. "You need to remember your speech from the film you did with Mom," she said when their kiss broke. "Whatever you do, do it true. Be who you are and let others see it. Just like you have today." 

"Right," Erika said. She felt in sync with her environment, powerful and on a high tone. I will survive, she said to herself. I will survive whether or not I continue doing this. But surviving alone is not what I want. That is no way to exist.

Garth Brooks agreed with her from the stereo. Life is not trying, it's merely surviving, if you're standing outside the fire!

"You hear that?" Kate asked. "Those are words to live by."

Erika roared her agreement. Inside the mansion, in Eva Amurri's room on the second floor, something shattered with high volume against a wall.

***

June 2002.

Three months later, Erika was still following Kate's advice. It had been of great benefit to her, more so than any other teachings she had heard in life. She stayed true to herself and encouraged others to do the same. This greatly improved her life. Now she was surer of herself when she spoke to others and found it easier to get along with them. She left her cross at home and that helped. Erika still had her beliefs but she had now embraced the idea that it was easier to express herself and live her morals without all the baggage that went with making things specific to her religion. She had always known this and now she was living it as much as she could. The benefits were evident all around.

Alicia was still resisting her advances but at least they were speaking to each other and going out together again. They had even gotten lucky a few times. Erika was also continuing to see Kate, Sarah and her other girlfriends. She dated men too, including TV actor Michael Rosenbaum and his Playboy photographer acquaintances. Many people wanted to get to know her, guys and girls. Erika gave herself to those she found worthy and enjoyed the satisfaction. She made numerous new non-sexual friends as well.

Her circle even expanded to include other members of her church. Parishioners and ministers alike appreciated her sunny confidence and cheerful disposition. She did not attend services as much; she was too faithful and happy in living as her true self to feel the need; but that did not seem to matter. Many opportunities to reach out through her church and celebrity and support the causes in which she was interested were coming Erika's way. She took each in stride and helped as best she could, always pushing aside her fear. It got easier as days passed. Fewer people were expressing disapproval towards Erika now and she felt better about handling things when they did. The most uncompromising extremists avoided Erika as if she was the plague and she quickly got used to it. Rarely did she look over her shoulder.

Once enough gossip got around about her hobbies, some other celebrity Scientologists started asking Erika if they could be with her. Jason Dohring, Jason Lee, Kelly Preston and Leah Remini — all members of Clear Rainbow — gave Erika invitations to join them and their significant others. Erika accepted Dohring's and Lee's offers without condition, as she liked both of them and their tastes in women. She told Kelly and Leah that she was not interested in their husbands sexually but would be happy to be with either of them alone if they were okay with that. Both women said yes. Their spouses became Erika's friends also, though neither John Travolta nor Leah's husband Angelo Pagan shared Erika's bed.

Some weeks after that, five other women approached Erika in one of the church purification saunas. Catherine Bell and Juliette Lewis were older actresses who found Erika reminded them of the person they wanted to be. Lynsey Bartilson and Laura Prepon were rising young stars who also wished to emulate her. Marisol Nichols was the older girlfriend of Taron Lexton, the teenage boy genius who directed most of the church's motivational videos. Marisol wanted to see more people like Erika among these productions' casts. All five were eager to hear her teachings and wash her body with their fingers, tongues and hair.

Erika accepted these celebrities as disciples and enlisted them in the church reformation movement along with several other Scientologists. The recruitment continued with everyone pitching in. Soon the reformers' membership roster became quite large. They had to approach an additional Friendship viceroy, intelligence agency director Mike Rinder, in order to keep their intentions and identities hidden from prying eyes. Erika had not known of Rinder's Friendship office until Isaac revealed it to her and was pleased when she found out.

"I know this plan will take a long time," Rinder told Erika and her associates. "Our aims are good, but we are not in power in our church or even in the majority. I have lived with ambition, persecution and paranoia all my life. They breed deeply ignorant and eternal foes."

Rinder's warnings heightened when the viceroy Erika had told Zeck about was exposed and forced to leave the church and his family. Soon others who noticed this incident became worried and stepped away from the call to reform. The bubble had burst. This is not the time, the general mood proclaimed. Change is too dangerous and may not even be necessary. Our church is good, right? We think it is and we want to stay part of it.

Erika, Isaac and the other celebrities were still in, as was their executive contact Rinder, but this was only because of their determination and the established double standards with which they were treated. They pretty much had to stay quiet and remain in the shadows. They weren't very effectual even when they spoke up, as so many people saw them as just faces and not real voices for motivation. Fanatic evangelists like Tom Cruise and most of the church leaders were also watching their every move.

The circle stayed in touch but was reduced to informality. Erika was unsure what anyone could do to make them rise again.

Then another event of great impact happened. Erika had stayed in touch with Zeck as he crossed the Pacific, exchanging e-mails and information that each felt the other needed to know. They had remained associates and occasional cyber-lovers. Each had learned tolerance from the other and grown in response to this gift. Zeck supported Erika as she stayed in her church and tried to help make it better. He also reminded her he was always there if she reached the breaking point. Erika told him she appreciated this and that she would continue to work towards his hopes for peace.

Zeck was the only online anti-Scientologist Erika trusted and was willing to reach out to, though. All the others she saw seemed too caught up in their own viewpoints or lacking in proper direction. The members of Anonymous for the most part did not even know one another's real names. They were so divided into uncoordinated networks of friends and foes that Erika could not find herself at all interested in approaching them. Zeck was no help either, as he was isolated on board his ship and mistrusted by anyone on the Internet to whom he mentioned his support for Erika's cause.

One hundred days after they met, she received the final e-mail from him. The navigator told Erika she should not worry about her reform circle's collapse. As long as she stayed true to herself and lived the good in her beliefs, as long as she helped others do the same, there was still hope. Zeck also expressed excitement about Erika's upcoming slasher movie and asked her to check out a rumor that Sarah was coming to entertain the troops in Karachi.

Erika was ready to answer the next morning. A look at the red-tinted sky out the window made her recall an old sea proverb. When she looked at her computer, another message confirmed her worst fears.

"Dear Erika," the letter read. "This is Torrence. I regret to inform you that at 0723 hours today a small sailboat collided with our destroyer. We thought they were in distress, but they weren't.

"On board this vessel were several pounds of C4 and ammonium nitrate, an improvised explosive device, and some idiot camel jockey who screamed 'Allahu Akbar!' right before he blew himself up. Thirty-one of my shipmates are wounded. Seventeen are dead, including your pal and mine Zeck Metz.

"Zeck could be an obstinate moron sometimes, as you know. However, to Chas and me he was a brother. Guys like him keep you on point. Those godless rag-heads killed our best friend. We will never forgive them. I have decided to join the SEALs. The man who took Zeck's life is gone but others like him are still out there. Chas and I will hunt them down until they all have paid." 

Once she had stopped crying, Erika's reply took a few minutes to compose. "Thank you," she told Torrence. "I mourn Zeck. Please express my condolences to Chas and all his other friends. Now listen to me very carefully.

"A few days ago Zeck and I were discussing the writings of Friedrich Nietzsche. I want to share with you one of that philosopher's famous lines. 'He who fights with monsters should take care that he himself does not become a monster, and when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss gazes also into you.'

"Zeck was a good man. He touched my heart, as he did yours. I especially remember that he dreamed of peace, a dream I share. I understand and sympathize with your anger at his death but you should not let that anger consume you. Go after the enemy and stop them from hurting others, as I know you must. But remember they are people too. Some of them may be willing to make peace with you. Be ready for that. Zeck would not want you to betray him by falling into the abyss of hate he spurned."

The next day Torrence's answer was in her mailbox. "What you say is true. We will remember it. Thank you."

Chas also sent an email with appreciation and several jokes. Erika wished them both luck. That was four days ago.

I hope you will indeed remember, she thought in the present. I also pray that Zeck was not the only one of his kind among Anonymous and the others opposing my church. My allies and I could resume our reform efforts again someday if the right things occurred and the right people were willing to listen to and work with us. Even now, we're lying in wait, ready to aid anyone who reaches out to us. My studies of history have taught me never to give up. I will not do so now. 

She smiled as she thought again of Zeck and all he had done for her. Erika missed him, but she would not crumble. She was still alive. Erika was not raised to let herself be haunted by the dead. I will learn from Zeck instead, she told herself. I believe that what he taught me could be useful again someday.

Erika closed the thriller novel she was reading, "Faraway Reality" by Doug Ramsay, and sighed as she heard director John Polson calling her name. Erika's career was the only thing that had so far not been affected positively by her new life outlook. She was picking and choosing parts that inspired her instead of films that guaranteed big money. Her weekly Friendship stipend and stock market forecast sheets gave her riches enough. Erika also did not care about becoming a major Hollywood player as much as she did about helping others and finding new friends. Thus, she was turning down many scripts and being passed over for even more. Her current project, "Swimfan", was lacking in writing quality. The story was filled with plot holes and deus ex machina.

"Erika!" the director said. He was a tall black-haired man of middle age with an Australian accent. "We're ready. I need you on set."

"I hear you," Erika answered, rising to her feet. She dropped her book beside her chair and walked towards Polson.

Her co-star lovers Jason Ritter and Shiri Appleby gave her encouraging smiles from the set's sidelines. Both were in their early twenties with firm well-shaped bodies and thick dark hair. Erika reflected on these new friends as she grinned back at them. Jason was the son of comedian John Ritter and had grown up acting on stage like Erika had. He was very happy to acquire a friend with benefits who enjoyed both his father's humor and his own personal acting style. His longtime companion Marianna Palka liked Erika too. Shiri was another actress who had become intimate with Katherine Heigl while on the cast of "Roswell". She and Erika had connected right off.

The only leading member of the "Swimfan" cast who was not yet Erika's lover was Jesse Bradford. He played a high school swimming ace that Erika's character became obsessed with and stalked. He rejected her onslaught of affection and she proceeded to ruin his life. She turned his best friend Jason against him and almost killed his girlfriend Shiri. Even though her character drowned at the film's climax, Erika still damaged Jesse enough to leave him forever scarred.




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 04



The role's violent streak and psychotic dementia had appealed to Erika at once. It was so not her! Even though she doubted the film would get much positive critical or public attention, she knew starring in it would help her grow as an actress.

There was one problem, however. Erika was attracted to Jesse but they had very little chemistry. Jesse was a sweet young hunk who freely admitted that he was in the film to kiss Erika and Shiri. Kissing was all he wanted to do, though. He had a steady girlfriend in real life and wanted to stay true to her. Thus, he had rejected Erika's every approach. The resulting feelings this gave Erika had been useful for her acting, but on a personal level, Jesse was driving her up the wall.

He stood in the middle of the pool set now, waiting for her in his swimsuit. Their characters had one love-scene together before he pushed her away and made her go insane. Jesse and Erika had tried to film the scene several times. They could not get the emotions right.

"Today is the love-scene's last take," Polson had told them that morning. "If you can't get it correct, we're going to have to scrap this film. I know none of us wants that. You've gotten every other scene across perfect. Let's finish this one!"

Erika was intent on fulfilling Polson's wishes. She wore her skimpiest red bikini top and shorts. Her hair was in the same style Jesse's girlfriend usually wore and she had once again prepared her most eager emotions for the love-scene with Jesse.

Polson had given Jesse a stern counseling earlier in the day at her request. "You're an actor," the director had said. "Forget about your personal life. You like Erika. I know it, she knows it and you know it too. Just give in to your attraction and forget about everything else for one take. One take. Be with her!" 

He seems interested in me now, Erika thought as she gazed upon Jesse. The tanned dark-haired youth had shaved and prettied himself. His body was taut and ready. The set was dark blue all around, punctuating the moment. Erika whispered a prayer to herself that appearances were not deceiving as she slipped into the pool.

She and Jesse spoke their lines as they swam towards one another. Erika had to make effort to appear slow and hesitant, not because she was patient but because her character was supposed to be incompetent in the water. Erika hated that aspect of the role. It made no sense since her character was obsessed with athletes. Erika was also a superb swimmer in real life and had to forget all about that. She stumbled as she moved and let Jesse catch her, asking him to teach her how to do what her character could not.

His catching her turned into a hug and they began making out. The set darkened around them. "It's okay," Erika told Jesse as he hesitated to kiss her. "I want you to."

He nodded and kissed her a second time. Then he pulled back. "Wait. Wait, wait. Wait! We can't do this."

"It's okay," Erika repeated. "Don't worry. It will be our little secret... hmm, maybe not so little." She grinned as she touched his groin, pleased her words were as true as they had been every time she'd spoken the line before.

Jesse took her in his arms and pulled her into deeper waters. "All right," he said, giving in. He kissed Erika hard and she responded with full emotion. They turned around as they moved towards the wall, shaking as the water flowed around their bodies. Erika could feel her nipples growing hard and warmth rising in her loins. She smiled at both and continued making out with Jesse. He pushed her into the wall near a ladder, leaning down and moving his chest against hers.

"Ben!" she said as a light cue hit her. "Tell me you love me." She kissed him again as he questioned her words. "You don't have to mean it, but just say it for me." The blue spotlights on the set hit them, adding tension to her words. She was breathing heavily and her heart was beating very fast.

"I love you," Jesse answered after a pause. Then he leaned close and touched her lips with his.

A nearby radio came alive as they kissed. Jesse frowned, looking at Erika. She raised her eyebrows too, surprised by the music's deep thrumming bass.

"We'll edit this out later!" Polson shouted. "Go with it!"

As Polson instructed his actors, the voice of Marvin Gaye began singing. I've been really trying, baby... Trying to hold back this feeling for so long. And if you feel like I feel, baby, then come on, oh, come on! Whoo! Let's get it on...

Erika laughed and hugged Jesse again before he could slip away from her. She recognized the song now and was pleased that Polson had chosen it. Kissing Jesse with all her might, she motivated him to stay in her arms. Soon he was returning her fervor and chuckling as the music throbbed. Shiri, Jason and the director clapped bravos along with several other members of the film crew. Erika felt Jesse's hands roaming over her body. Her shorts were pushed to the side and Jesse's fingers were tracing her pussy. His manhood was hard against her tingling thigh.

"Whoa there," she whispered as Jason buffed her neck. "What about your girlfriend?"

"What about her?" he whispered back with a shrug. Erika laughed again as she accepted his next kiss.

Yes! Erika thought. You're finally accepting me! You want to do me in front of everybody and the cameras, I'm fine with that. Polson will have to edit the take for a PG-13 rating, but that's his problem. I want you, Jesse. I will have you, here and now. She stroked his chest and kissed his face.

"Cut!" Polson yelled. "That's enough! We got it! Thank you!"

Shiri and Jason snickered as Erika and Jesse refused to stop kissing. Finally, the new couple broke apart and smiled at one another. You're still hard, Erika thought. I didn't come either. We're going to finish this soon, though, right? Jesse echoed her question with his eyes and she widened her grin and nodded in reply.

Nothing wrong with love if you want to love me, baby... Just let yourself go... Oh baby... let's get it on... 

Gonna get it on...

***

The End

****

Afterword: I was inspired to write this story by the massive amount of discrimination against the woman behind my heroine and her people which I see on the Internet every day. I know that there are reasons behind this discrimination and agree that Scientologists have a negative history in their religion and need to step away from it. However, I also think those who would criticize Scientologists need to realize that these people are not all the same. Critics also need to learn to refrain from hatred and dehumanization. People on both sides of the conflict need to learn to reach out and that just because someone is criticizing your arguments does not mean they are your enemy. Both sides also need to remember the nature of change in history and learn to get along. I have depicted all that herein.

If you're wondering about my place in the war over Scientology, well, in the years I've been writing this series I've been on both sides of the war. I've seen each side making what I consider terrible mistakes and I don't entirely agree with either. This fictional story has summed up my reasons. Writing stories such as this is the best way I know to fight back against the mistakes I see in the world. I apologize if I have offended anyone and remind people they don't have to agree with my opinions. I hope they will still see the intended lessons regardless. Should you desire further information about the research that went into this story, I highly encourage you to drop me some feedback and ask. It doesn't matter what side of the war you're on.

There will be more sex scenes in this series' concluding episode. I will also continue Erika's development. Coming Soon: 'Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 5- Free Katie'. Stay tuned.



Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 05



The Passion of Erika Christensen, Chapter 5: Free Katie,

by AchtungNight.

Celebs: Erika Christensen, Keri Russell, Katie Holmes, Alicia Witt.

Codes: rom, MFF, anal, fist, oral, F-solo, toys, FF, reluc, voy.

Standard disclaimer: This story is a satirical fantasy. It is fictional, even though its plot is based on actual events. All characters that mirror real people are fictionalized. All celebrities in the story are impersonated — poorly. I, the author, have no actual connection to any celebrity mentioned in this story other than being their fan, and I acknowledge that they do not act in real life the way my characters based on them do. I did not write this tale for financial profit and I expect none from it. This story contains controversial adult themes and situations, so it should not be read by those who are close-minded or under age 18.

Intro: Welcome. A while back, I had a personal burnout and decided not to continue this series. Over two years later, the burnout has passed and the threads I left dangling have been nagging me. Thus, I decided to finish things. The concluding chapter is long because there are many threads. This is not the story I set out to write in the beginning — time and readers' desires have changed quite a bit. It does conclude the series, though. For me, that is enough.

No other story is necessary reading to understand everything that goes on in this one. However, my other tales may key you in further on past developments. Thanks to the many people who helped me research, write, and publish this story. Thanks to you as well for reading. Feedback is welcomed.

***

The Passion of Erika Christensen, Chapter 5: Free Katie

London, England. January 2009.



"Inside Out, this is Frost-Fire speaking."

"Doug, John Travolta. I was hoping I'd get you."

"John, hey," the club manager said. "I heard about your son. You have my deepest condolences."

"Thanks. I got your card. It was nice."

"How are you holding up? Are your wife and daughter okay?"

"We're persevering, with help and good will from mutual friends. I'm still shocked it happened."

"I can imagine. My own mother has a seizure disorder, and she's had poor reaction to medication just like your son did. I often worry about her health."

"Is your mother a famous adherent of a religion whose members are schooled to consider themselves perfect, the rest of the world be damned?"

"No." Doug grimaced. "I suppose your situation is worse."

"You bet it is. I got idiots thinking they can extort money from me by threatening to cast my son's death in a negative light before the world. Other folks are calling me a bad parent, acting like they know more about my situation than I do. They're at least partly right. If I weren't a bad parent, my son would still be alive. I should have gotten him a full-time nurse, the proper medicine. I should have educated myself more about his problem. Why couldn't I do that? Why did I let him die?"

"John, take it easy. You loved your son. The right people know and will acknowledge that. You weren't expecting him to die the way he did, and some responses to the event have been despicable. I don't think you should let those who would exploit your loss get you down."

"You're right. I'll live past this." John muttered something unintelligible and then recovered. "There's another matter on which I need your input. You remember what you told me about your past? Before you ascended to your current position in our society, you were a cop. You read the disturbing information about Scientology online and took it upon yourself to do something."

"I infiltrated the local branch of your church," Doug recalled, lowering his voice. "I had to find out if you were really as bad as people thought, and shut you down if you were. It only took me nine and a half weeks to learn I had the wrong idea. Your faith wasn't something I needed or wanted to be part of directly, but you were capable of as much good as you were evil. The picture I had was distorted and biased. It still is in many ways."

"That's our fault as much as yours. Sometimes we're difficult to understand."

"You still exist and are part of humanity. One day those who criticize you will learn to understand that, as I did. More people will gather friends from across the divide."

"Will they? Doug, you accept your stance on Scientology because you're in love with one of us. You make concessions for her, and vice versa. Not everyone has such a luxury."

"I'm not the only one who cares about someone in your church. There's also the ongoing initiative the Friendship has to aid you."

"That's why I'm calling. Forgive my disrespect, but when the heck are we going to enact that plan? I mean thoroughly put it forward. Scientology is messed up, and it seems only the victims and their advocates are paying attention. Those who can fix things won't."

"We're working to change that."

"So I hear. I have faith in our society. I chose to remain in Scientology because of that faith and the benefits I thought I perceived. Now look at what that decision has cost me."

He's losing it, Doug thought. I need to reassure him. "John, the goal of our operation is difficult. We have to transform your church, with regard for every issue that encompasses. We also would like to avoid war, persecution, and all the other evils the past has visited upon contentious sects. As I discovered during my time inside Scientology, such things are not the proper course. The alienation and intolerance they breed overshadows any good they might achieve."

"Did Erika help you come to that revelation?"

"I already knew it. She did enable me to admit it directly to Scientologists, though. Other Friends like you have helped."

John guffawed. "I wish more of our detractors walked your road. The plan is flawed, though. I don't think it's making much headway."

"You're wrong. There are things for which you aren't cleared."

"Doug, if I don't see significant progress in the operation soon, I may do something drastic. Kelly agrees it could be necessary. We're both ready."

"Are you contemplating departure?"

"That, and speaking out, the way others have. If I can find the right words and medium, it might get our executives' attention and not just that of the demagogues."

"Have you talked to Melissa about this, or Taron?" Melissa Prynne was the Scientologist cleric who was officially in charge of the operation they were discussing. Taron Lexton, a visionary Hollywood director, was her counterpart among the church's celebrity adherents.

"They said I needed to contact you."

"Oh. Well, what they wanted me to tell you is this. Scientology is on the brink of everything for which we have dreamed. We are at a crossroads. You remember your former director of special affairs, Melissa's mentor? He recruited numerous agents before he was forced to resign his post, including your Chairman's wife."

"She hasn't been seen in public the past three years."

"That's by her choice. She went into seclusion to work with the Friendship, devise a way to enact our hopes for your religion. Last September, she approached her husband and offered our consultation to reform Scientology. Others had made similar proposals before, but the Chairman wouldn't listen. He had the wrong mindset about us, and didn't fully comprehend his circumstances. On this occasion, however, things were different."

"Is he giving in?"

"He'll never attest to such in public, but yes. This information is restricted, John. You can discuss it with Melissa, Taron, your wife, and me. That's it. The Friendship is still bringing the Chairman over. We want to limit the fallout if our talks collapse. Success will take a certain blend of diplomacy and intimidation. It's delicate in the extreme."

"I can appreciate that. Our church critics are right to call the Chairman a Napoleonic bastard."

"He has things to answer for. At present, we're arranging dominoes to motivate him. I'll email you an overview. The decades-old wave of protests, press leaks, and lawsuits are all part of the process. Forgive us, but even your son's death will play a role."

"I expected as much. The Chairman's a nice target, but he's only the tip of the iceberg. What about the fanatics he condones and directs?"

"Our loyal Scientologists will influence them away from the dark side. You, Kelly, and everyone else are key elements of the plan."

"Will we be enough?"

"The Friendship and I hope so. You still want to jump ship?"

"We might. Kelly and I will take this new information into account, though."

"Okay. Be sure to give us advance notice before you do anything."

"Keep us posted. We appreciate the Friendship's efforts."

"I do too, no matter that I sometimes wish I was made privy to our initiative earlier. I didn't learn of it until I terminated my self-appointed undercover mission, left Scientology, and confessed to some higher ranking Friends what I had done. They introduced me to you, and helped me establish my club so I could give aid to celebrities the way I desired. In retrospect, I'm glad. I don't know how I would have handled things had I known before."

Silence reigned on the line for a few seconds. When John resumed speaking, there was fire in his tone. "Doug, what if I had a stratagem that could push our efforts forward? It might really get the Chairman to see things our way, and not just him either. There's a man who was a Friend once upon a time, before he got caught up in Scientologist fever. I'm talking about Tom Cruise. I think we need him back on our side."

"Tom Cruise?" Doug repeated. "He's the poster boy for the Chairman's faction, John. His outspokenness over Scientology has retarded our efforts in great amount. I know what you're going to say. He's been changing his persona recently because he ruined his own career. I'm not sure about that. It's one thing to quit being vocal about something to the media, and another to actually regret your behavior."

"His change is real. The Friendship tasked me with watching him in the 1990s, when it first became obvious he was choosing Scientology over us. He wasn't quite as zealous back then, and now he's reverting. Other Friends have confirmed this, including his sister Lee Anne and his maid. They're monitors for Tom like I am. Lee Anne and Kelly helped me come up with this scheme. We can only arrange the players, though. We need you and Erika to do the big things that will win Tom over. I believe this plot will aid us no matter the result. It involves people who love Tom and vice versa. Do I have your support?"

Doug didn't take long to assent. "If the plan is good enough, you do. What are the details?" He listened for the next several minutes, smiled, and said, "John, I don't think we should reveal this conspiracy to Erika immediately. It would be better if she got involved on her own. She will. I've never known her to reject a righteous cause. You and the others set up your ends, I'll handle things here. I like the plan otherwise. Alea iacta est."

"What?"

"Latin for 'the die is cast.' It's an appropriate phrase."

"You believe this will work, then?"

"The possibilities are enough to try."

***

Los Angeles, California. That Night.

Soap hands. Pick up and soap dish. Scrub dish. Rinse dish and hands. Put dish in dishwasher. Repeat.

Repeat endlessly.

I should not be doing this, Tom Cruise thought. He kept up the motions anyway. 

Katie asked me to do this, he reminded himself. She's tired. In recent days, she's quite often told me she's tired. I can't convince her to do anything. The kids can, and she plays with them as enthusiastically as ever, but with me, she's "just there".

I should be used to these periods, he told himself while washing dishes. Our relationship's been going on almost four years now. Whirlwind courtship led to marriage, and we've done everything we can to appear happy together since. The world has been watching us, it hasn't been easy. I like to think we've succeeded. Still, we both know we're not always happy. Katie's distant from me much of the time, in mind if not in body, and when she's with me, her emotions are like a rollercoaster. She's jubilant, then she's sad, and then she's "just there". Lately she's been "just there" more and more. It's getting so I hardly know what's going on with her.

It's because of who we are, he reminded his id. We're one of the most famous couples in the world. I'm a great actor with multiple blockbuster movies. Katie had a few good films in her day too, and a TV series that was a huge hit. We have billions of fans watching us wherever we go, idolizing or protesting our every move. We can't live without tension.

And I have increased that tension, Tom reflected. When I first met Katie, I was so attracted to her, so in love with her. With exuberance, I declared that love to the world, and the world shuddered. They called my relationship with Katie a publicity stunt. They called it doomed. They called what we have a tragedy for her, and they called me many awful names. Our latest film performances getting panned by critics did not help matters. Nor did my ill-advised public battle with Brooke Shields over depression, something I still regret starting to this day.

"That is over now!" he snapped, slamming a glass into the dishwasher's upper rack. He cringed, glad it was unbroken. 

"Stop your rage," Tom commanded himself in a softer tone. He felt his heart calm. 

It has been four years, he told his id. That battle is over. I apologized to Brooke, and she forgave me. The person who suggested I start the battle is gone. I never should have listened to her advice, and I never will have to again. I have a good life now. Katie has only been a benefit to that life.

Has she? Tom wondered, scrubbing hard at a pan. I don't know. I love her, Katie's great; but ever since we got together, my career has been on a downturn. My movies don't do as well anymore. The last one, 'Valkyrie', has done okay so far. However, its success was nowhere near as big as that of the films I've had in the past. The same is true for most of my films in recent years. If it wasn't for the sound investment advice I get, my finances might actually be in serious jeopardy right now.

Katie's career has suffered too, and although she denies it, I think she blames me. She says she loves me and is happy to be married to me and mother to our daughter and the other two children we've adopted. Still, though, she's emotionally distant from me all the time. She smiles, yet her eyes never light up.

Tom had to stop himself from slamming the dishes into their racks again as he recalled that nothing he had tried to change this had worked. He and Katie had attended every marriage course their advisers recommended, done every seminar and exercise. Nothing helped. Katie was still the same, loving but distant. She would not speak frank with her husband and she withdrew into herself rather than tell him what was troubling her. In his heart, Tom believed it a miracle Katie was still with him and often worried that one day she would change her mind.

"You shouldn't think like this," he said. He rinsed another plate and put it in the dishwasher. "She still loves you."

She did, he knew. Tom had fallen in love with Katie from the moment he saw her, and he had known from her face that she felt the same. All the disbelief directed at their relationship was meaningless. The connection and attraction between them was undeniable. Neither his two previous wives nor his many former girlfriends had made Tom feel as happy as Katie had in the past four years. He had made every effort to show and tell her this, yet she was still distant. Even their recent trial separation, which had coincided with Katie's first stint on Broadway, had not changed that in the least. All the time they had spent together since the separation ended had not helped either. The goddamn media's fabricated stories made the situation even worse. They frightened Tom's wife and disgusted him. Earlier that evening she had complained about it. Maybe she had forgotten it by the present moment, or if not, she needed his comfort.

"She's upstairs in her room," he said to himself. "I should go there once I'm done here, sleep there tonight. I should be with her."

Maybe this would be the time, he hoped. Tom would break through his wife's shell and get her to tell him what she really wanted. He would give it to her, whatever it was. She would finally be happy with him after he did, and express that unprompted to his face. Their loving would be joyous, wonderful. He could be brave again and then go on to reclaim his past level of success. Katie would love him and he would be confident of that love. 

"I can make it happen," Tom told himself. The short dark-haired handsome man turned away from the sink and clenched his fists, grinning with determination. Soap and water stains shone on his black turtleneck and jeans. "I can do this! I can make it happen! It will be so!

"Shit," he cursed as he turned around, "I better remember to take my Viagra!"

Yes, Tom Cruise needed Viagra. He was in his late forties, and despite being the very personification of macho in the past, his stamina had wilted in recent years. He could hardly believe it himself. Yes, he was a major action star with many high-testosterone films including "Top Gun", "Tropic Thunder" and "Risky Business". Yes, he followed a religion that discouraged the use of prescription drugs. No, he had never had trouble getting women attracted to him. For some unknown reason, though, to maintain an erection he still needed the damn little blue pill.

Tom closed the dishwasher and looked around after starting it, trying to recall where he kept his Viagra. I'd better take it if I want to get anywhere with Katie tonight, Tom told himself. She says that she doesn't mind my problem, but I know she's lying. I better find my medicine and get control of myself. I'm amped up right now, my emotions are high, and that never helps me gain power over my body. If I'm too pumped, I might even get stupid. I don't want that.

"Calm down," Tom told himself. "Where did I put it? Where did I put that ...?"

Ring!

He sighed and picked up the telephone. "Cruise residence."

"Tom!" a familiar voice answered. "How you doing, buddy?"

"Hey John," Tom greeted his old friend and fellow actor. "I'm okay. I just finished washing the dishes."

"Washing the dishes?" John Travolta asked, tone full of disbelief. "That doesn't sound like you."

"Katie was tired and the maid quit this morning," Tom explained. "Bella and Connor had too much homework and Suri's still too young for most chores. Come on. Don't tell me you don't get stuck with the dishes some nights."

"Yeah, but not if I can help it," John replied, laughing again. "I haven't talked to you in a while and I thought I should. Are you okay? You sound distressed."

Tom contemplated not answering and then shrugged. Why not? John had enjoyed a longer and happier marriage than his. He might know what to do. Maybe my soul reached out to him, Tom thought. I know that's possible. It has happened to me many times before.

"It's Katie," he told John. "She's distant from me and I want to change that."

"Uh oh! She's not making you happy?"

"No, John, she's making me very happy," Tom insisted. He looked around and relaxed when he saw no one watching him. "I just can't get through to her. Something's always bothering her when she's with me and I can't make her tell me what it is. We've tried everything. Hell, you know what we've been through. You and Kelly have gone through all the same things!"

"Well, I don't know about that." John lowered his voice. "Do you need me to fly in from Florida, take you out on the town like I used to do in the Nicole days? Get your spirits up?"




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 05



"No, John," Tom answered in a growl. The media scrutiny on him in the present was even more intense than it had been back then. He did not want it increased. "I'm a happily married man now. Your idea of a party is the last thing I need. Katie wouldn't like it either. She's not like Nicole."

"Sorry. Chill out, man. It was just a suggestion. Maybe you need to be more open with her."

"I'm very open with her, John. You know that. You've seen us together. She's the one who needs to be open, not me."

"Okay. Hmm." John hesitated. "Well, I gotta admit I don't really know her, though I do see where you're coming from. It could be an age issue. You do have about sixteen years on her."

"Your point?"

"There's a psychological distance. A woman Katie's age is gonna be different from a guy your age. You can't ever really know her."

"Hey, we've been together four years. I know her pretty well."

"Sure. I bet you don't know her as well as her girlfriends, though."

"Katie doesn't have any girlfriends."

"What?" The shock in John's voice rose. "Don't tell me you're still pushing her to 'sever all ties'."

"I'm the only friend she needs, John."

"No, buddy, you are wrong." John chuckled. "You're killing her. Trust me."

Tom felt rage boiling inside him and was about to answer. Then he forced it down.

Maybe John's right, it occurred to him. I have been stifling Katie's connections with others since we got together. None of her old friends really like me, so they got estranged from her by our relationship. I introduced Katie to someone I thought would be her new best buddy and from the start they did not get along. Jessica's advice to me turned out terrible too, so I cheerfully forced her out of our lives. I know Katie was grateful I fired Jessica but it also showed her I could be a threat to her friends. She didn't like knowing that.

I've tried to find other friends for her since then and nothing's worked out. Even Victoria Beckham, who was Katie's shopping buddy for a long time, stopped regularly hanging out with Katie right after things went sour between me and Victoria's husband David. I was to blame for that, even though David denied all rumors to the press. I guess I've been to blame for Katie's inability to make new friends too. I hang out with my friends all the time; but apart from the kids and people who like me, I don't like Katie hanging out with anyone. I make that known to Katie. Maybe that's what's wrong. I've been committing a major gaffe. Fuck!

"You're right," he told John, shaking his head at the realization. "I have been hurting her."

"If you're just realizing that now, I'd wager you're making more than one mistake."

"Yeah." Tom grimaced. "I guess we need some additional counseling."

"Whoa there, buddy. I know what you're thinking." John coughed.

"Sure," Tom agreed. "If it gets out we're seeking counseling, the tabloids will have a field day. If it's worth it, though, and it's what has to be done —"

"Tom!" John interrupted. "That's not what I'm talking about. Screw the tabloids. To hell with them." He hiccupped. "You don't want the usual counseling you get. You've already tried it all and gotten nowhere, right?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"Listen to me. There's this other kind of counseling. Kelly and I know someone who's an expert at it. You know her too. Erika Christensen."

Tom blinked when John said the name. "What? I haven't heard about —"

"Trust me, Tom!"

"I do, John, but her? Come on. You know some of our church leaders have been calling her a potential trouble source."

"Yeah, but that's just their opinion. You should stop listening to those dinosaurs. They're on the way out. It's only a matter of time. The way they pervert our religion's teachings does nothing but ruin lives."

"That's not true, John!" Tom declared, and then paused. 

Wait a second, he thought. I've been following their philosophy more and more in recent years, and it's been making me bonkers. It pisses the public off too. How many times have I been told that and seen the effects? Yeah, I can turn it around a little, but I still don't like the bad things that happen. I hate the gossip, the Internet character assassination and the negative way in which so many people see me. I wonder if it's really worth trying to spread the benefits my religion has brought me. Scientology has not been good for everyone, and the world thinks I ignore that. I hate how they treat me in response. I know Katie also feels this way.

"It is true, Tom!" John said. "Why do you think Kelly and I have stopped coming to all but the biggest gatherings? It took 'Battlefield Earth' and everything that's happened to us since we made that movie to make us realize what's really going on with the dinosaurs. They're the idiots, not the public. You need to separate yourself from them. You do just fine as who you are and not as well as the person they want you to be. Do you want protesters dogging you everywhere the rest of your life?"

"No," Tom had to admit. He saw them at all his premieres and they had also attended Katie's public appearances. Tom and Katie acted as if they weren't bothered, as their publicists recommended, but they were disturbed. Worse, Tom knew that if he took steps to challenge the protesters, or try to reason with them, he would get nowhere. He might suffer negative consequences too. Open anger would hurt his publicity, as it had in the past. Reason and admitting concessions had even worse potential results. The people at whom the protesters were really mad, the leaders of Tom's religion, were legendary in their intolerance for dissent.

"Then listen to me," John told him. "I can tell you how to overcome them."

"I already ignore them," Tom said. "I know they'll never go away. The diehards will always be against me. I just show them I'm not affected. I tell Katie to do the same. I've been told they get bored when they see this and dwindle in number."

"Yeah, that kinda works. But come on, Tom. You know those people aren't ever going to go away until they get what they want. We have to change and we're going to change."

Tom blinked, his suspicions aroused. "What are you talking about?"

"We're celebrities, man! The public pays our bills and makes us who we are. We cannot afford to mislead, confuse or upset them. We need to stop. We're going to stop. The reformation is coming, Tom. It's been coming. Erika's part of it, and so are Kelly and me. The same for Beck, Jason Lee, Catherine Bell, Paul Haggis, Taron Lexton, Sky Dayton, the Mastersons, the Ribisis, the Presleys, Kirstie Alley, Mike Rinder and thousands more. We're gonna push out the dinosaurs, fix ourselves up and concentrate on helping others like we're supposed to be doing. Are you with us or against us?"

"What?" Tom's frown had deepened with each named celebrity and he gaped at John's concluding question. "Have you been drinking, John?"

"No! Well, okay, a little. But I'm right, Tom. You know I'm right."

"Yeah, I do," Tom said with incredulity. "But, John, this isn't a secure line."

"Oh. Sorry." John coughed. "Uh, everything I said was hypothetical, okay?"

"Of course it was," Tom said. He hit a button on the phone and activated a universal jamming device that the infamous Hollywood private detective Anthony Pellicano had given him several years ago. It kept the unscrupulous press and anyone else from listening to Tom's phone. "Now the line is secure. Next time warn me."

"Thanks." John sighed in relief. "Look, if you want, you can forget I said all that. Your choice. You're a legend, so you'll always have your fame no matter what happens. Kelly and I have been in this longer than you have. Tragedies have happened to us, things that could have been avoided. We're committed."

"Tragedies? Like your son?"

"That was one, yes." John grumbled at the mention of a sore subject.

"I'm sorry, John. I said it before."

"I know. Thanks. Listen, don't get worried. Our movement is underground and it's probably going to stay that way for a while. 'The revolution will not be televised.' You can let us handle it if you want. But on your marriage ... trust me, Tom. You and Katie need this counseling. It has saved my marriage and our mutual friend Will Smith's."

"What? Will's marriage has never been in danger."

"Buddy, there is a lot you don't know! Look, let me contact Erika. I'll tell her about your situation and have her give you a call."

"No, John," Tom declined. "Thank you, but I don't think Katie and I need what you recommend. Stop drinking. Have a nice day." He hung up.

Self-absorbed idiot, Tom thought, looking at the phone. What does he know? Still, he is right about some things. Our church is undergoing a reformation. Everybody wants to deny it, including our enemies, but I'm on the inside. I know it's happening, with good reason. I listen to the protesters even if they don't think I do. I'm aware of why the good people among them are doing what they're doing. There are people in my church who agree. He listed them to himself.

Mike Rinder, longtime leader of Scientology's intelligence agency, lost his job two years ago because he was involved with the reformation. Tom had heard he was still supporting the movement from the outside. If John wasn't bullshitting, then just about every famous person in Scientology other than Tom was also part of things on the inside.

How did they get so brave? Tom wondered. Maybe they figure they're too high profile for the leaders to ever hurt them. You know, they could be right about that. Nicole had good reason to be mad at the church when she left. The leaders practically mandated our divorce. They didn't excommunicate her, though, and she can still see our kids. Isaac Hayes was bitter at the leaders also, before he died last year. He really didn't like how they took advantage of his stroke to make him quit "South Park". He was so upset he cut the church from his will. They didn't kick him out either, however. There were no negative consequences for him at all. It's the same for Erika and all the other people John mentioned. They can be as free-willed with church doctrine as they want to be. Our religion relies on celebrities for advertising. As we go, so goes the public. If the leaders punish us, they lose thousands of worshippers and millions in donations. They can't afford to let us go or piss us off.

Tom gasped as another realization came to mind. I've been an evangelist for them many years, he thought, but maybe I've been going about it all wrong. If I spoke up for the common parishioner instead of preaching the party line, really tried to give people a better life, maybe my career and Katie's would not be in such poor shape. The reformers are planning to conquer Scientology when the time is right. I'm sure of it. That time is coming fast, especially with the way the church has been shrinking in recent years while the forces against us have grown. Soon we'll have to reform to survive. Even the leaders will see it. I know the majority of our parishioners already do, not that they'd ever tell the leaders. Maybe I should join John's movement. It might be the only way to rescue my image. I could also be a real asset to the reformation. I was just planning to keep following the crowd and doing what's most acceptable, but now that I know how far things have spread ...

Tom shook his head. No. It was better not to even think about it. It was too risky. His marriage was more important anyway. Besides, Tom told himself, I can solve that on my own. I don't need anyone's help. I just need my Viagra.

Fifteen minutes later, after he found the empty bottle, Tom was back downstairs. He had gone upstairs to try talking to Katie anyway and found her already asleep. Now he was digging through his address book.

I have to call Erika, Tom thought as he scanned the pages. I have no choice. I have to put all my personal feelings aside and find out what she can do. John mentioning her was some kind of sign. Here's the number. I haven't talked to her in forever. I hope she's in a good mood.

Tom picked up the phone, again engaged his jammer, and started tapping digits. As the phone started ringing, he gave himself a prayer.

***

London, England.

"Yes!" Erika Christensen was screaming thousands of miles away. "Yes! Ah! Fuck me!"

The two people lying on either side of her obliged, thrusting their naked bodies harder against Erika's and increasing the motions of their fingers. The twenty-something actress gasped at the sensations, shaking her long vivid auburn curls. Her deep blue eyes shone bright and her porcelain skin was suffused with rapture. Her energetic voluptuous figure was sandwiched between a gorgeous man and woman. The couple continued kissing her and each other. Both were smiling and sweating with the emotion of their deeds.

We've been close so long, Erika thought as she returned their caresses. Keri Russell, the thin lightly tanned brunette whose naked body is pressed against the front of mine, was my co-star in "The Upside of Anger". She didn't know what to make of me at first back when we met in 2003. Some might even say she hated me. In one day, we got close and that all changed. With the help of others, we became friends and lovers. We've connected several times in the years since the film wrapped and maintained our relationship. Many others, men and women, have joined us in lovemaking and taken pleasure from the experience.

The man rubbing himself over Erika's back, Keri's husband Shane Deary, was no exception to that rule. Erika had gotten to know Shane shortly after Keri started dating him three years ago. She admired his handsome face, lean carpenter's muscles, and long black hair and beard. He liked her too, attracted by her beauty and brazen spirit. However, the man was nuts about Keri and vice versa, so Erika knew she would have no chance trying to pick him up.

They stayed friends nonetheless and Shane was thrilled when he found out that Keri and Erika were both bisexual swingers. This led to the three of them getting it on many times. Keri and Shane were one of several couples whose marriages Erika spiced up on a regular basis. Such activity was fun for them and her. She herself did not want to get married. Erika found staying single more convenient for her sexual connections. That might change someday, she thought, if I found the right guy.

"Yes!" she cried out again as Keri twisted her left nipple. Shane twisted her right one an instant later. They continued squeezing until both Erika's pink breasts were gleaming red. Keri, her cheeks puffed in a smile, leaned down and suckled them.

"Thanks again for suggesting this vacation to us," she said after releasing the nipples. Erika's fellow actress licked her cleavage and then leaned up and kissed her lips. "It's really great."

"Yeah," Erika agreed.

They were in London to visit a man who had been instrumental in forming Keri and Erika's relationship. The manager of a popular Soho nightspot, he had hired Shane's construction company to do some renovations. As an American contractor, Keri's husband was nervous about taking a job overseas. Character references from Keri and Erika convinced him saying yes was a good idea. The job had finished last week but it would be a few more days before the unveiling. Keri and Erika both flew in to attend and Shane too was sticking around.

Sticking around hard, Erika thought. She could feel Shane's erection against her pelvis. The club, "Inside Out", was among other things a swinger's haven. The manager kept a number of private suites for secure meetings. Erika and Keri had taken advantage of them many times.

"Nice work on the floor, Shane," Erika said to Keri's husband. She knocked her fist against the wood beneath their bodies.

"I installed this room's entire floor myself," Shane replied with a chuckle. "Now I'm going to fuck you on it."

"Don't forget about your wife," Keri said. She leaned around Erika and smacked Shane's lips with hers. "You're fucking me on this floor too."

"Right," Shane said, kissing Keri back. "And after we get done with this lovely lady, I got plans for you involving another floor in the room next door and the shower in the room across the hall from this one."

"Oh boy," Keri breathed, squeezing his bicep. Her long cinnamon tresses, made famous in the Warner Brothers hit TV series "Felicity", shook as she moved her body further towards his.

Erika caressed Keri's small brown breasts, reminding Keri she was with them. Her girlfriend grinned in apology, then moved back to Erika and again kissed her mouth. They deepened their embrace with each other and Shane. Keri rubbed the dark wet triangle between her legs against Erika's thigh. Erika felt the dampness in her own pussy's fertile blonde mound increase. Keri moved up on her and Erika leaned in to lap her tits. The points of Keri's nipples stabbed hard at Erika's mouth.

Shane licked her left ear, rubbing his erection against her rump in the same motion. Erika nodded in permission. Keri's husband was wearing a cherry-flavored condom his wife had rolled on a few minutes ago with her lips and tongue. Shane had fucked Erika in the ass several times. He knew how to do it in a way that gave her maximum pleasure. Her cunt had already tasted his erection once tonight and so had her mouth.

Erika and Keri had varied the caliber of their attentions towards Shane throughout this, maintaining his hardness and preventing him from coming. The moment of release was near, though. Erika knew not even a team like her and Keri could stave things off forever.

Let him spurt where he likes best in me, she decided. Then I'll leave Shane and Keri alone so he can fuck her in all the places he just described.

Shane put his arms around Keri and Erika, pulling their bodies closer to his. Keri put one hand on his chest and put her other hand at the juncture of Erika's thighs. Her fingers wiggled in Erika's slit. Knowing what Shane intended, Keri gathered Erika's juice and spread it over Erika's ass. She also pushed her girlfriend's legs open, all the while kissing her lips and cheeks. Erika directed a patient smile at Keri's gray eyes.

"I can't hold off too long," Shane said with a gasp. His fingers rubbed Keri and Erika's tits.

"One second," Keri told him. She gripped her husband's cock and squeezed it, testing the fullness. "Okay. Now." She pressed the organ into the crack of Erika's rump.

Erika widened her stance and Shane thrust forward. Erika gasped and clenched her teeth as she took him inside. "Yes," she said when Shane's length was fully within her. "Right there. You're hitting it. Keep at it."

Shane nodded and continued thrusting back and forth into her. His breath was heavy on the back of Erika's neck. At Erika's front, Keri exchanged another kiss with her and then curled her fingers inside Erika's pussy into a clenched fist. Erika screamed again as the fist was pushed hard into her, her body filled with sweet agony at both ends.

The trio of lovers breathed deep and moaned as they continued to move. Shane speared his manhood into Erika and Keri matched every motion with her fist. They could feel each other through the thin wall of flesh between Erika's pussy and ass canals. Their cooperation in pleasuring her was thrilling to both of them. Erika felt a growing tremor in her own body.

Keri kissed her throat, moving down on her torso, and the throbbing increased. Erika twisted her torso around, keeping Keri's fist inside her as she did. She, Shane, and Keri moved harder against one another, their bodies quivering on the bare wood floor. Keri shook her fist back and forth, pounding the walls of Erika's pussy. She only withdrew her fingers when her more talented tongue was in position to take their place.

Erika wailed as the point of that tongue hit her clit and set it vibrating. Shane pushed into her ass particularly hard an instant later and she came, juice flooding into Keri's mouth. Keri swallowed the stream, her hands fondling Erika's legs to increase her girlfriend's pleasure. Her breath was warm on Erika's snatch. Her hard breasts were rubbing Erika's torso and Shane's hands were caressing them both. Keri's cunt was near her face, Erika noticed. She leaned in and licked it, heart hammering hard.




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 05



"Yes," Shane whispered as he nailed her behind. "Yes! Here it comes!" He hunched into Erika and ejaculated. Erika smiled and shook as she felt the spurts. She slid her tongue faster along Keri's rough slit. Then, feeling her heartbeat quiet, she leaned into Keri and took the other woman's clit bud between her teeth.

"Ah!" Keri yelled, her body shaking at the bite. She climaxed a second later as Erika opened her mouth and again thrust her tongue into Keri's snatch. Erika lapped up the first stream of juices and then moved her head to the side so Shane could catch the remainder. Keri moaned in joy.

The three cuddled with each other as their bodies settled down. Shane pulled out of Erika and then hugged her. He rubbed her thighs, easing their soreness. Erika and Keri moved their lips back next to one another's and shared several kisses with each other and Shane.

"You know, guys," Erika said once the making out ended, "maybe I need to see that other floor too, and that shower."

"Sorry, lovely," Shane replied, kissing her forehead. "My wife has first dibs."

"We will show you later, though," Keri promised. She pecked the tip of Erika's nose and her girlfriend beamed.

The loud chords of the Star Wars Imperial March shattered the moment. Shane and Keri glared at Erika, who was startled by the trumpeting sounds.

"You left your cell phone on?" Keri asked Erika, rolling her eyes. "You are such a nitwit!"

"I'm sorry!" I suppose I was absentminded in my excitement tonight, Erika thought. Then again, I don't have any clients scheduled. That's my "potential trouble" ringtone too. Who could it be? Pushing away from Shane and Keri, she rolled over to their nearby discarded clothes. She reached into the pocket of her jeans and took out her phone. "Erika Christensen," she answered the caller, catching them just before her voice mail could pick up. "This better be important."

"Erika, it's Tom," a stammering voice replied. "Tom Cruise."

Erika blinked. Tom Cruise was an old friend of her family and a follower of the same church but they had not spoken to each other in several months. We're not always on good terms when we do speak either, she recalled. That's why I assigned him that ringtone. I wonder what the hell he wants. "Hi, Tom, how you been?"

"Okay. Um, look, I'll come right to the point. I need a favor."

Erika frowned and looked towards Keri and Shane. They were kissing each other and settling into a new coupling, both ignoring her. She glared at them and then turned her attention back to the phone. "Go ahead."

"Katie and I are on the rocks. You've probably heard all the nasty rumors about us and I can confirm most of them. John tells me you're a relationship counselor."

"Yeah, I am," Erika answered, surprised. "John told you?"

"He's depressed over his son."

"I know. I was at the wake. We missed you."

"Sorry I had to be in L.A. John's okay, I think. Do you agree?"

"I hope he's all right. I'm more concerned about Kelly. Their son died suddenly of a terrible illness. It will take them time to get over what happened."

"Sure." Tom coughed. "Look, what's this about you being a counselor? It's why I called."

"It's a sideline I took up recently. I keep getting independent film roles that don't go very far, so I thought — wait. Are you asking me to take you on as a client?"

"Yes. The main problem is that Katie's distant from me. She's happy some of the time, the sex is great, but she won't let me get close to her or tell me what the deal is. I sort of drove off all the friends Katie has that are her age. John thinks that's an issue, and I, well, I guess I have to agree."

Erika grimaced. This call was much unexpected, she thought. I've met Tom's wife Katie Holmes a few times. I watched her show "Dawson's Creek", and a few of her movies. I think she's a talented actress, though not quite at my level. We know each other but I wouldn't call us friends even if I do drop her name now and then to meet people. Katie keeps herself closed off from everyone or at least I got that impression. Why does Tom think she would want to be friends with me?

"John says you know some kind of counseling that's not like what we've been doing," Tom continued. "He says it helped him and Kelly and also Will and Jada. Can you try it with me and Katie? How much do you charge?"

"Uh..." Erika blinked. She looked at Keri and Shane again and found neither was paying her any attention. Instead, they were in a deep embrace with each other. Shane was licking his wife's breasts.

Erika turned her face from the tantalizing sight and focused on the call. I need to get rid of Tom, she mused, before he comes to his senses. "I would have to insist on taking your case pro bono, Tom. I do that with all my clients. I'm just starting out in private counseling, so I don't want people expecting too much of me. You can pay me whatever you want after I'm finished if I help you, but I don't want you to feel pressured. Okay?"

"All right," Tom answered, surprised. "Listen, this has been going on for years. It's really frustrating me. I need you to start immediately."

"Tom, I'm in London right now. I'm here for another two weeks and then I have a movie shooting in Toronto. I can't just clear my schedule for you. Unless..." I want to help him a little if I can, she mused. Tom's a strict jerk but he's not really a bad person. He's the sort you always want on your good side, a friend when he is and an asshole when he's not. I'm not sure I can help him but I want to try. "You can come to me."

There was a long pause before Tom responded. "Do you know how busy I am? I run my own film studio, Erika. I have meetings every day. I can't fly across the world at the drop of a hat!"

"I see. In that case, let me give you the name of a great counselor I know in L.A."

"No!" Tom snapped. "I know you and I don't know them. I don't want this going any further." He took a deep breath. "Erika, despite all the flak between us, I trust you. Some consider you a negative influence. I've never thought that, though. Remember when I referenced you to Jodie Foster five years ago?"

"Yes. You also referenced me to Michael Douglas and Steven Soderbergh in 1999." The references had led to "Traffic" and "Flightplan", two of Erika's most popular films.

"So you know I don't think you're a bad person." Tom's tone made Erika think he was convincing himself of that. "I need you on this." There was another pause. "I can't come to you myself but maybe I can send Katie to you."

The control freak strikes again, Erika thought. Does he really think acting like this ever helps?

"You say you're in London? I can put Katie and three people on a plane tomorrow."

Damn it, Erika swore to herself. He's serious. "Tom, no handlers! She has to come alone and of her own free will."

"Erika, I don't think you realize how much the tabloids follow us. Katie and I are very popular. Without handlers —"

"They'll get in the way, Tom!" Erika interrupted him. She realized she had no choice other than to go through with things. "It's my tech. I know how it works."

There was an additional pause, the longest so far. "Fine," Tom said finally. "I'll warn Katie to be careful. Can I reach you at this number? The first number I tried didn't work, so I had to call your mother."

"This number's fine. Can I call you back? I'm in the middle of something right now."

"No problem. Just one more thing. Erika, I've heard a lot of rumors about you. I'm not going to ask what's true and what isn't. I have to say this, though. I don't know how exactly you counsel people but you are professional, right?"

Erika forced down a tide of anger. "Tom, if you're saying what I think you're saying, you need not worry. I usually don't sleep with my clients."

"Good. You will not sleep with Katie."

"Of course not," Erika replied with a snarl.

"Right," Tom said. He sighed. "We'll speak again after I talk to Katie and book her flight. Listen, Erika ..."

"Yes?"

"Thank you." The connection ended with a click.

Erika looked at her phone, disbelieving that the call had really happened. She then put the phone down and turned back to Keri and Shane. They were still screwing, their bodies entwined around one another. Both were sighing in happiness and flushed with sweat. Erika hated to spoil their mood but she knew she would need their help. Theirs and that of several others in this building who know Tom and me, she thought. It's good they're all in town.

"Keri!"

The other actress looked up from kissing her husband. "What?"

Erika took a breath before challenging the storm in Keri's gray eyes. "Do you remember 'Mission Impossible 3'?"

"Yes," Keri replied with a frown. "What about it?"

"Yes, Erika, what?" said Shane. Erika ignored his perturbed glower.

"Your co-star just called me," she told Keri.

"Tom?" Keri blinked. "That Tom?" She had once idolized Tom Cruise, and enjoyed a brief working friendship with him on the set of their action thriller. I didn't like everything about him, though, Keri recalled, especially the publicity that followed him around. I had a bad experience when some of it rubbed off on me. She also remembered Tom and Erika were very different people. "Did he want something from you?"

Erika nodded. "You're not going to believe this. We need to convene on this — now."

***

Some hours later, they were all in the Inside Out club manager's office. The room was large, clean, and full of books and knickknacks. A black leather couch, a mahogany coffee table, and four red felt visitors' chairs sat near the huge oak desk. A large window along the east wall showed a panoramic view of the city of London and several of its most famous landmarks. The most dominant was the clock tower Big Ben.

Erika, Keri, and Shane were clothed in white T-shirts and jeans and occupied three of the visitors' chairs. A curvy blonde woman in a black dress sat on the office couch next to a fresh-faced brown-haired man in a tan suit. Seated on the man's other side was a tall pale red-haired woman with sparkling brown eyes and slim figure who wore a sky blue blouse and white pants. The club's manager, Doug Ramsay, was in a black leather chair behind the desk. He was a stocky thirty-year old with rugged good looks, thick dark blond hair, and glasses. He wore a brick red button-down shirt, a pine-colored jacket, and stonewashed jeans. A tall bald black man in a gray pullover, tan coat and urban camouflage pants stood to his right.

"So Tom Cruise wants you to help him," the redhead, Alicia Witt, said to Erika. Like Keri and Erika, she was an actress who had starred in "The Upside of Anger". Alicia's relationship with Erika had been going on almost eight years. It was Tom, Alicia's co-star in "Vanilla Sky", who first introduced her to Erika and Alicia was familiar with their issues. "Why do you want to do anything for that man?" she asked.

"He needs me," Erika said with a shrug. She looked at the blonde, Hollywood A-list actress Scarlett Johansson. "Katie needs me too. You remember how Tom met her, right?"

"Yes," Scarlett said with a groan. "That awful woman from your church set things up. Tom wanted a wife but no one wanted him. Then several actresses respond to a phony film audition, including me. They tested us for compatibility with Tom. You were on the list too, but you didn't show up because the Friendship tipped you off. I realized what was going on and they trashed me in the yellow press. Stop that!"

The man beside her reversed his grin. "Sorry."

Scarlett laughed as she recovered. "Then Katie scores high and they introduce her to Tom. The fake movie falls through, and they get together. Rumors come out in the years after that and their stars go down."

"Thanks for the recap," Erika said. I'm glad Scarlett already knew me before that happened, she added to herself. I'm also glad she judges people as individuals, like everyone else in this room. Scarlett knows I'm not the same as the people who set up that audition or Tom. We wouldn't be friends if I was.

"I understand your sympathy with him, Erika," said the man seated next to Scarlett, her husband Ryan Reynolds. Like Erika and Alicia, Ryan was an actor who had appeared in many hit TV shows and films. "I've met Tom Cruise on a few occasions. He can act nuts but he's not a bad guy."

"I think he is," Shane said. "Keri introduced us at a party last year and he totally treated me as disposable."

"He drops that if you're around him enough," Keri said. "I saw it myself during our film. Tom's publicist handed you that pamphlet, not him." She saw no change in Shane's expression and grimaced. "I'm sorry, Erika."

"It's okay," Erika replied. "I am aware of how Tom and his associates can be." Tom likes to project a certain image in public, she reflected. He tries to live a strict interpretation of Scientology and sell it to others. He surrounds himself with people who are similar in their actions and values.

Erika shared Tom's religion but she followed its teachings in a far more liberal manner. She preferred to live the good she saw in her beliefs and avoid the practices with which she found fault. She also kept herself open to friendship with anyone. Rarely would Erika mention her faith to others unprompted and she always tried her best to respect views that were not her own. When she saw disrespect for her creed in other people, she taught them how their opinions were in error rather than prove them right by distancing herself. Keri was among her successes at this course.

This attitude towards life had molded Erika into the free-spirited polyamorous woman she was and she was happy with her character. However, the attitude also led to many differences between Erika and people like Tom. Erika was able to tolerate such conflicts in part because she knew she was not the only adversary of Tom and his fellow zealots.

"They're not our allies," Shane repeated, turning to Doug. "You know that."

Doug laced his fingers and brow. In addition to a club manager and popular novel writer, he was a prominent leader of a worldwide secret society known as the Friendship. Everyone in the room was a member of that group and so were many other people from all walks of life. The Friendship's connections and influence were of great benefit to those within and to others. The society was dedicated to the sharing of knowledge for mankind's benefit and the promotion of freedom and charity towards all. The stances it took on these issues had made it many enemies, though. Among them were several leaders of Tom and Erika's church.

"Scientology has never been a perfect ally to us," Doug said, giving Erika an apologetic glance. "The leaders say they share our aims but their actions often prove otherwise. Many of their practices are controversial and we've never liked how they treat those they perceive as enemies. Their church's founder also stole a lot of knowledge from us and corrupted it for his own use. Many people in the Friendship have issue with that."

The club manager changed his expression, seeing his lover's downcast eyes. "However, as you know, we've always maintained sympathy with the people inside the church, in particular those who share our values and follow through on them. Some of these are members of both Scientology and the Friendship. They include you, Erika, and Tom Cruise too. We stand by these people as we would anybody. Every person has a right to find benefit in religious beliefs, no matter how crazy those views may seem. We have to respect and support that right."

Everyone in the room nodded in agreement and Doug continued. "Tom Cruise joined our society in the early 1980s. We helped him achieve his early success. Then he married Mimi Rogers, she led him to Scientology, and his involvement with the Friendship tapered off. We've never forgotten him, though, even if he has forgotten about us."

"I didn't know," Erika said with a blink.

"You didn't need to know."

His words hurt Erika and her face told him so. He gave her a deep look of sorrow and she nodded in forgiveness. Doug was one of Erika's biggest fans and the closest thing she had to a regular boyfriend. She had met him in 2003 when she and Alicia saw and became intrigued by his club during a night out in Soho. Erika and Doug became fast friends and lovers a few weeks later. If not for their busy lives keeping them apart, Erika mused, they might even be more.

Both were members of the Friendship when they met but Doug had been inside longer and was of higher rank. His intelligence and creativity had caught the society's attention at a young age and promotion was swift. Doug's club and his duties as a Friendship Viceroy demanded much. He also had other women besides Erika in his life. They were the type to sometimes feel jealousy even though Erika was good friends and lovers with most of them. Doug did his best to keep them all as balanced as he could.

"Katie Holmes is not one of us," Doug went on, "although I myself would welcome her. We're going to help both her and her husband."

"Why?" Alicia asked with a shrug. "Just let them break up."

"Alicia!" Erika stared at the redhead. "Just because you can't maintain a lasting relationship is no reason to neglect and sabotage those of other people!"

Alicia glared at Erika, not liking the airing of her negative personal life. "I've gotten close a few times," she said. "It's not my fault my boyfriends keep turning into jerks or deciding they can't handle my fame compared to theirs."

"We're going to help Tom and Katie," Doug repeated. He looked around the room, locking gazes with everyone. "Erika, are you sure Tom's serious about this?"

"He called me again five minutes before this meeting," Erika said in confirmation. "Katie's coming here the day after tomorrow. She'll be landing at Heathrow around ten a.m."

"Okay then. That gives us just enough time to prepare. I contacted some Friends in your church's ministry right after you asked me to organize this meeting. I told them our helping Tom and Katie could be of benefit to the reformation in your church, something we support. After much convincing, they forwarded these documents." Doug tapped two red folders on his desk. "I have here personality profiles of Tom and Katie, including what Scientology knows of their sexual histories."

Scarlett directed a hard look towards Erika. "Don't your people know keeping files like that is illegal?"

"If these files weren't consensually gathered and supposedly secret they would be illegal," Erika answered Scarlett with a groan.

All followers of Erika's church were encouraged to submit to having such files made out. The official reasons were so that any minister could know as much as possible about any parishioner's personality and thus serve as their effective confessor and life coach. In reality, the information in the files was often used to harm the followers of Scientology as much as it was used to their benefit. Thanks to foresight and a series of deft political maneuvers, Erika avoided the practice for the most part. What information was in her widely available file was bleak. She only shared her life's full details with people she trusted, and they kept her secrets classified. For most Scientologists involved in the organization's shadow reformation this was an increasing trend.

I wouldn't be surprised if a fanatic fool like Tom told everyone everything about him, though, Erika thought. I'm sure his file is detailed as heck.

"And let me remind you," Erika told Scarlett, "the people who use these files to harm others are not like me."

"Sorry," Scarlett said. "I know you're not the same as other people in your religion and you're among those who are working to change things for the better. This is bringing back bad memories. That's all."




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 05



"You don't have to apologize," Erika told her, sighing again. "I was born into this church. I know what some people in it are."

All my life, she thought, they've tried to control me and make me like them. Never have they succeeded. That is in part thanks to my learning too well their creed of self-determination and self-acceptance and in larger part thanks to my friends.

"I'm doing this as a favor to Tom," she said, turning back to Doug. "I don't know if I can really do anything and I guess I don't care. Nevertheless I'm going to try."

Doug nodded and gave her a proud smile. "I will help you. Check out those files. They're pretty interesting. Everyone, remember, though — the information does not leave this room."

Erika looked through Tom's file first. It was as comprehensive as she feared it would be. There was great discussion of his past wives, Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman, and many of his girlfriends also. No mention of a gay relationship, Erika noted. I guess there really is no truth to that rumor. However, the file does say Tom and Nicole used to swing with John Travolta and his wife Kelly. I didn't know that. Tom also has erectile dysfunction. That doesn't surprise me. She skimmed the file one last time and then passed it to a curious Scarlett and Ryan. Thanks to Tom's publicity and Erika's acquaintance with him there wasn't much in the file she didn't already know.

Katie's file was thinner but far more interesting. Most of it was "yes" or "no" responses to questions she had answered without giving further information. She claims to have had both male and female lovers, Erika noted. Never does she say who or how many, though. I know all too well how probing the questionnaires that lead to these files can be, so Katie must be a more determined person than I thought. She beamed in surprise and then handed the file to Keri, who was giving her an odd look.

"You'd never catch me submitting to one of those files," Shane declared. "Who do these people think they are, shrinks?"

"Hey, religious ministers have been counseling people since long before psychology existed as a profession," said Ryan. "Scientologists are just newer and better about writing stuff down." He chuckled. "Still, though, I don't think I'd ever want them probing me either." Scarlett's husband looked at Erika. "Present company excluded."

"Thanks," Erika said. She gave Ryan a grin and then looked at Doug. "Is there anyone we can call who knows Katie? Her family? A former boyfriend?"

"I'll check my contacts," Doug answered. He again looked around the room at everyone. "Can we count on all of you?"

Alicia coughed. "I'm not getting involved in this. I have too many failed relationships to ever be a good marriage counselor. If you want my advice, though, Erika, it's yours."

"Thanks," Erika said. Besides Doug, Alicia was her smartest friend. Erika was sure that the redhead would have good ideas on how to help Katie and Tom if she would just put her personal disappointments aside.

"Ryan and I can't stay," said Scarlett. "We have that premiere in Rome this weekend. Our plane leaves tonight and we won't be back until Friday. Sorry, Erika."

"Yeah, we're really sorry," Ryan chimed in. "I think we would enjoy getting further involved in this."

Erika smiled in understanding. She knew she had their emotional support if not their presence. She glanced towards Shane and Keri.

Keri opened her mouth to speak first but Shane interrupted her. "I'm not getting involved in this, period!" he shouted. "As far as I'm concerned, people like Tom Cruise deserve whatever messes they put in their lives. They join a stupid alien cult that charges them thousands of dollars to break up their families and fill their heads with bullshit. Then they expect other people to listen to their crap and follow them. If they try to leave, they get harassed and blackmailed. If they say anything about what they suffer, things get worse. The cult of Scientology hurts people, inside it and outside it. We should just let them all rot."

"Shane!" Keri shouted, grabbing her husband's arm. Shane immediately shut his mouth and looked at her. "Think about what you're saying," Keri said in a careful serious voice. "Does every Scientologist you know support that image? There's one in this room who doesn't. She lets you call her 'lovely'."

Yeah, Shane, Erika thought, her face red with fury. Only years of training in how to manage her temper was keeping her from blowing her stack.

That and I know why he feels the way he does, Erika told herself. I've seen all the websites out there that denounce my religion. I know about the awful things some of our leaders have done and compelled others to do. I hate that those things have happened and continue to occur, but the assumptions people get about them sting even worse. Why do people have to assume all Scientologists are involved in bad stuff? Why do they think we're all the same? Why do they think we can't learn from our mistakes? Every religion has a dark side that its followers have to move past if they want to be good people. We're no exception and we too could probably fix ourselves the way the others are doing if we were only given the chance.

Shane looked at her as Keri glared at him. "Erika, I'm sorry," he said, repentant. "I know you're not part of the problem. You're a good friend to Keri and me. You always have been. I apologize."

Erika took a moment before responding. Everyone else in the room was too startled or angry to fill the void. "Thank you, Shane," Erika said when she found the right words. "You reminded me why Tom and people like him annoy the fuck out of me. It says in our church creed we're supposed to refrain from prejudice and respect others' right to freedom of thought. 'No authority less than God' can revoke that right. The high officials of Scientology have placed themselves above it, though, and Tom is their voluntary shill. I refuse to be the same."

Shane raised his eyebrows. "You really feel that way? Then why do you stay with them?"

"Because," Erika said with a shrug, "I'm not like them and I want to remind them of that. Scientology doesn't have to be about putting yourself ahead of others or harming others. The way I practice it, it's not. If I don't show the fanatics a better way to be than the way that has led to rants like the one you just gave, I can't ever expect them to grow past their negative qualities. My family and thousands of other people in my church, including many of the ministers, feel the same way as I do. We're not always allowed to act on our feelings but when we can, we do. You may not think people pay attention to us but they do, and sometimes they follow our example. We're not as stupid as some people think we are."

"I know," Shane said. "You're living proof of that. It's just ..." He looked away. "I think I'll shut up before I hang myself again."

"Yeah," Keri said with a chuckle. "That sounds like a great idea, dear."

Shane's wife crossed her arms. "I apologize for my husband, Erika. If you need my help on this, you have it. The way I see things, Tom has a lot of influence in your religion and in the world. This is an opportunity for you to help him change his life for the better, and Katie's also. I've seen how they are together. If you can help them, I say Godspeed."

"Thank you," Erika said, eased by Keri's words.

"No problem. I just wish there were more people in Scientology like you and not like those who give it a bad name." Keri looked back at her spouse.

Shane returned her grimace. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "If you want to help them, fine. If you think there's something I can do, just ask me."

"Okay," Erika said. "For now you've done enough." She turned away from him and looked at the black man standing beside Doug, the one person in the room who had so far remained quiet. "What about you, Clarke?" she asked. "Do you have any thoughts on this?"

Inside Out's security chief smiled. "Actually I do, Erika," he said. "I have something of a history with your people. I'm originally from South Africa. Until about twenty years ago, stupid racists dominated the government of that country. The whites in charge denied people with my skin color education, health care and all sorts of other things because they wanted us to be a laboring class and nothing else. The government called this scheme 'apartheid' and it lasted centuries."

"I'm familiar with that system," Erika said, startled. She had learned about apartheid in school growing up but had not known of Clarke's past involvement with it until now.

"In the 1970s," Clarke said, "about twenty years before the South African government ended their program of segregation, some people within your church began opposing it. They took in poor families, no matter their skin color, and gave them schooling and jobs. My parents and I were among those families. Followers of your church helped my people, Erika, and some never charged a dime for it either. When my parents decided to leave your church, they did so in peace. I went with them. I never really fit in with Scientology and I didn't want to stay. I'm sorry I never told you before."

"This story is BS!" Shane interrupted. "Ron Hubbard was a racist. It's well-documented."

"I wouldn't know about that guy," Clarke replied. "I never met him. His disciples who assisted my family weren't racists. That was for sure."

Taking a breath, the Bushman bouncer looked at Shane. "You may be aware from those websites you've read that Erika's church didn't speak against apartheid in public until after it was already struck down. That's because they were afraid. The South African government had come close to outlawing them once and then they didn't. The church didn't want to risk upsetting the government with open challenge. They didn't want bad public relations with rich whites either. Therefore, all the things Scientology did to oppose apartheid before it was over were in the shadows and behind the scenes. I know about them because I was a victim they helped. I have sent my story to a hundred websites and not one has accepted it. 'Conflicts with the church's true image' is the reason I usually get. Other people say I'm a liar. What do you think?"

Shane said nothing.

Clarke smirked. "Only after the South African government came to see how terrible racism is did Erika's church dare to openly act out. They gathered data on some of apartheid's worst abuses and made it public. The resulting political activism led to numerous reforms in South Africa's mental health care system. Scientologists continue to work in my nation today to further education and human rights and to combat discrimination and illegal drug use."

He directly faced Erika. "As a citizen of South Africa, I figure I owe your church something for that. I don't think I should wait until they learn to fix more of their problems to help them either. Erika, if you want my aid in assisting Tom and Katie, you can count on me."

"Thank you, Clarke," Doug said. He smiled at the many surprised looks in the room. 

"Yes," Erika agreed. "Thank you."

Why is it, she asked herself, that so few people remember that my faith, like all good religions, is trying to make the world a better place for all mankind? Yes, we're human, so we don't always succeed. Yes, we have bad people within our ranks. But there are good people too and they do good things. Why does everyone seem to notice what the bad people do more than that?

The others in the room continued talking while these thoughts ran through Erika's head. Doug took charge and laid out several plans.

"Many critics compare the Church of Scientology to the Nazi Party of the Second World War," he told Shane. "Are you aware that many people in the Nazi Party hated Hitler and the war and wanted to get out from under them? Some tried. There were multiple plots within Germany to overthrow Hitler's dictatorship before the war ended. Most of these were supported by us."

"Last month Tom Cruise did a movie about one," Shane recollected. "Your point?"

"There are people in Scientology who feel the same way as those people in the Nazi Party. They hate and fear their church leaders for all the reasons you know. The trouble is, many of them are afraid to leave or they actually see good things in their religion and want to keep following it. They're like Martin Luther and other Christians who historically rebelled against the medieval Catholic Church. You know about that?"

Shane nodded and Doug went on. "Our society assists these people. The ones who want to get out and who can, we help. Those who want to stay in and keep their own conscience, like Erika, we also aid. The Church of Scientology is a religion, not a government. It requires far more tact to handle than the Nazi Party did. We've also learned from our mistakes with the Nazis and our successes with the Russian Soviets and the South Africans. What we're doing to fix Scientology and help its followers may take a long time, but I hope it will succeed. We've already made some strides and intend to continue."

Shane looked at his wife. "Did you know about this?"

"Yes," said Keri. "I was figuring out a way to tell you. I was like you when I first met Erika. I only knew the negative image of her and I wouldn't allow myself to be proactive. Sometimes discriminating critics have to be helped more than troubled Scientologists have to be. Ignorance is never a good thing."

Shane frowned, seeing the expression in her eyes. "Look, I said I was sorry, okay?"

The others in the room shook their heads at him and turned away. "Clarke, I'm putting you on another special assignment," Doug told his security chief. "You're tasked with Katie's security. Find Frank Martin. You two will pick Katie up at the airport." Frank Martin was a London cabbie well known for his professional discretion. Doug often employed him as a transporter for customers who needed special care.

"You got it, Deputy Doug," Clarke said. 

Doug turned back to Erika. "Whatever resources Inside Out has are at your disposal. I'll have a suite cleaned and prepared for your talks with Katie when she arrives."

"Just a meeting room," Erika told him. "I won't be getting that close to her. Tom insisted on that."

"Very well." Doug's voice was disappointed. "Keri, can you make one of your pies in the kitchen?"

"Sure," Keri replied. "Good luck, Erika." The other people in the room expressed similar wishes.

"Thanks," Erika addressed all of them. "I still don't really know this girl. I may need it."

***

Two Days Later.

"Yes!" Katie Holmes whispered. "Yes! Oh god!"

She shut her lips, remembering her surroundings. Katie was in an airplane bathroom and even though she wasn't sure anyone on the plane had recognized her she didn't want to be noticed. I won't worry about it, she told herself after no one answered her cries. I'm alone for the first time in a long while. I'm going to enjoy myself. Twitching her body and leaning against the wall of the plane, she pushed the pink eight-inch vibrator deeper into her shaven cunt.

Shaking her shoulder length dark hair, Katie tensed her tanned svelte body. Her body was built up from the three to four mile runs she completed several times a week. These times were often when Katie did her best thinking. Her flight had been long and after sleeping and reading through most of it, Katie felt the need to think hard about her situation. It was not advisable to jog while on board a plane, though. Sexual exertion in the bathroom was the next best thing.

Katie squeezed her small breasts through her violet blouse and turned her vibrator to a higher setting. She had thought getting the toy onto the plane would be difficult. An airport security officer spotted it in her purse but let Katie go with little more than a knowing look after getting her autograph. Now Katie was using the toy for the first time during the flight. She had dropped her jeans and panties to her ankles, parted her long slim legs, and shoved the pink cylinder deep within her pussy. Her tan skin was flushed with excitement and her brown eyes were open wide. Moving the vibrator back and forth, she hunched her hips and moaned.

My publicity handlers would kill me if they knew if I was doing this, Katie thought, chuckling to herself. Tom would be shocked too. Oh well, he can't always do it for me and when he can't I use Pinky.

"Narf!" she hissed to herself, imagining the vibrator speaking to her as one of her favorite animated characters. "Poit! Zort!" She thrust the toy against her recessed clit.

Katie was on the plane at her husband's request. She was aware of how people saw her relationship with Tom Cruise but she treasured it. He had been one of her greatest childhood crushes and getting to date him was a dream come true. He never spurned on romance, running and lying with her on Italian beaches and proposing to her atop the Eiffel Tower. He had given Katie hope after her previous boyfriends outgrew her and she them. Most important, he gave Katie a beautiful daughter and two other kids to whom she was happy to be a cool stepmom. Tom was handsome, attentive and a gentle caring lover. Katie appreciated it all.

I know he also has another side, though, Katie thought as she gasped and sat down on the room's closed toilet. Tom has been isolated all his life, even when he's in a crowd of people. His father abandoned him when he was growing up and ever since, he's been looking for new things to lead him. These have included movie producers, girlfriends, and controversial religions. The conflict within Tom makes him want to control everything in his life and I don't think he will ever escape that. It has all kinds of consequences. I've seen them firsthand and gotten hurt. 

Despite all this, Katie reflected further, I still want to preserve our relationship. My father and brother are both divorce attorneys. Growing up, I met their clients. I don't want my daughter turning out like some of the children. I don't want to end up like some of the women either, although I will if it becomes clear that's the way it has to be. Tom gave me a lucrative prenuptial agreement, so I know he understands.

In return, Katie understood that she had to make certain sacrifices to be with him. She had to give up the friends Tom didn't like, most of her free time and a few of her dreams. Would I have achieved those hopes anyway? Katie sometimes questioned. My show was over before I met Tom and my movie career was a string of critical bombs. The fans loved me but would I have found success again? I don't know. I got my spouse and our family, though. That will suffice.

Again squeezing her taut breasts, Katie let out a moan. Pinky the vibrator and her body's sensations were sparking the thoughts in her mind she'd hoped they would. Clenching her jaw, she shook her body and knocked her head against the wall. Juice was leaking out of her pussy in a steady stream, coating Pinky and her hand.

"Troz!" Katie hissed. She turned up the toy's intensity.

Ever since Tom had presented the ticket to her yesterday morning, all through the flight, Katie had pondered whether she was doing the right thing. She had protested at first. She did not want to get onto a plane without her husband after they had concluded a trial separation and fly halfway around the world to see a counselor Tom refused to see himself. In the end, though, Katie gave in. She wanted to restore happiness to their relationship and felt she had no choice but to do as advised. Tom had told Katie little about the counselor, only that she was a woman and "someone different".

She'd better be, Katie thought. I can't take any more people who think they can tell us how to live our lives. Especially not people like that woman he installed as my publicity adviser after we started dating, who manipulated my insecurities whenever we spoke. I thank God every day that Jessica's gone.




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 05



Pinky twitched in her fingers and Katie pushed the toy deeper inside herself. She pinched her nipples and groaned. "Ahh!"

Is this the right thing? Katie wondered. Will my fans appreciate that I'm doing this? Will my children? Will Tom, even though this was his idea?

Never mind, she decided, squeezing her vibrator. The lives of two people may not amount to a hill of beans to most of this crazy world, but they do to me. If there's a chance I can learn how to fix the problems in my life I will take it. That's why I got on this plane. That's why I'm making this trip.

Katie crossed herself when her sensations peaked, an old habit from her Catholic schoolgirl days. Ripples of ecstasy coursed through her. She whispered a prayer as her body shook around Pinky. Katie asked the God in whom she still believed despite all Tom's discouragement to help her through the trial ahead. She wanted to get the most out of the counseling, whatever it took.

The prayer brought back memories of Katie's teen years, when she had shared forbidden touches with her friends in closets and dressing rooms. No boys attended their school, so the curious girls learned all they could about intimacy from one another whenever they had privacy. As a young model and actress, Katie had no shortage of such opportunities in her life.

Katie had always known some boy out there was her destiny but she was happy to find she liked girls as well. She began seriously dating boys after her high school graduation. Her first male lover was another regular on "Dawson's Creek". Their relationship had been good even though it hadn't lasted too long. Some time later, Katie found another man who seemed right. After several years of going steady, they ended up engaged. During this period, Katie continued to play around on the side with her girlfriends from the "Dawson's Creek" cast.

Then the show got cancelled, Katie recalled, and my friends and I grew apart. I became too focused on my career to stay in touch with them. Soon only my relationship with Chris remained. I thought he loved me and wanted to stay together but he kept putting off our wedding. Then we broke up and he wounded my heart. For a long time I drifted, sad and alone. Until the audition when I met Tom. I fell for him when first we saw each other, my childhood crush coming back in full force. Soon we were dating, then intimate and then married.

I've heard rumors that all we have was arranged, she reminded herself, that the audition was fake. I've never believed that gossip. It's too stupid. If it is true, I suppose I can forgive Tom. Whoever planned this relationship, it worked. Tom and I love each other for real. I forgive Jessica also if she was the one who set things up. I hated how she treated me, but my marriage is good. Maybe it's one of the few good things Jessica ever did. I suppose it doesn't matter. She's long departed from our lives.

Katie's legs shook as she thought this and she varied Pinky's speed to calm herself a little. Her love with Tom was true, she knew, yet something was still missing. Katie didn't know what. She had been sad in her heart ever since Chris broke up with her. Even with the man of her dreams and their child, she was still downhearted. Tom had noticed this and promised to cure her sadness even though she couldn't find its cause. Katie wanted Tom to stay with her and deliver this remedy, so she made every sacrifice he asked. She would let no insult destroy what they had together and consent to Tom's every demand.

I love him, Katie thought, and that is why I let him guide my life. Even with our love, though, we still aren't happy. I find myself changing my hairstyle and acting out constantly just to get his attention. I try to push myself away from him too, hoping to motivate him to get close to me. Nothing works — Tom stays stuck in his own world. I go to counselors to find out how better to be the woman he wants or at least solve my own troubles. No counseling so far has given me the answers I crave.

If this upcoming counseling doesn't work, Katie told herself, I will leave Tom. I know I've felt ready to do it before and backed out but this time I mean it. Never mind that I love him, that I'm scared of leaving him or that his presence always makes me feel good. I've had enough of his high-priced phony friends who don't know what they're talking about. I've had enough of being trashed in the tabloids for marrying him, of Internet trolls calling me his "Stepford Wife" and worse.

I'm financially set if I leave. I'll take our daughter Suri with me too. The prenuptial makes sure of it. I don't want to step away from the man I love but if I have to, I will. This is your last chance to prove to me our marriage can work, Tom. May God keep you and this counselor from wasting the opportunity. Nodding to confirm her decision, Katie gave in to the storm between her legs and shoved Pinky's vibrating head hard into her clit.

Thank you for this orgasm too, God, Katie added as the feelings inside her spiked. She released her vibrator and dropped it onto the floor. Breathing heavily, she massaged her sore breasts and thighs and licked her lips. Good one, Katie thought. Better than the last time I secured my "Mile High Club" membership. I think now I can for sure handle what's ahead.

The actress wiped her juices up with tissues and flushed them down the toilet. She also turned off and cleaned her vibrator before stuffing it back in her purse. She then stood and put her panties and jeans back into place. An announcement came over the airplane's loudspeaker. The pilots were starting their descent. Katie knew she should return to her seat.

A small line of people greeted her as she exited the restroom. Katie smoothed her hair, adjusted her purse strap, and gave the other passengers an apologetic shrug. She pushed past them with shaky knees. As she went down the aisle, she received knowing looks from two stewardesses and an athletic freckled woman in the row behind her whom she had earlier pegged as a sky marshal. Starring in multiple action flicks like "Batman Begins" and "First Daughter" had taught Katie how to spot a concealed gun. Katie returned their smiles and sat down.

"Bring on London," she said to herself, looking out the plane window as she buckled her safety belt. Katie was ready for her husband's last chance.

***

"So let me get this straight," Erika addressed the tanned and chubby blonde woman on the video conference monitor in Doug Ramsay's office. "You had regular lesbian affairs with Katie Holmes and Michelle Williams while you were on 'Dawson's Creek' together."

"Yep," Elizabeth "Busy" Phillips replied with a laugh. "Why are you so surprised? Did you think my first girl-girl experience had to be you?"

"Wasn't I?" Erika and Busy had acted together in the 2002 teen drama "Home Room". Erika had been good friends with Busy and her bisexuality was awakened by their onscreen lesbian kiss.

"No," Busy contradicted. "I had kissed girls a few times before you, practicing for boys and playing. Until Michelle, though, I was never comfortable with my attraction to girls. Katie caught me and Michelle kissing and one thing led to another." She smiled. "I'm sorry, Head Case."

Erika grinned at hearing her character's nickname from their film. "It's okay. I was going through a lot of crap back then."

"Oh, so you wouldn't have been any good for me? I don't think so. I should be the one apologizing to you. I turned you down, remember?"

Erika nodded. "Right, you did, but that's behind us now. Tell me more about you and Katie."

Busy shrugged. "Michelle tempted my lusts when I got on 'Dawson's' and I thought 'what the heck'. Kevin Williamson's intense atmosphere was making me nuts. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and I needed some relief. If I was misinterpreting the signs and Michelle rejected me, it would be easy to get thrown off the show like I kind of wanted. Then Michelle didn't reject me and neither did Katie when she walked in on us and I asked if she liked what she saw. I let them love me and it was fun. It turned out Katie and Michelle had already been together a few times. Michelle wasn't her first girl either. Katie acts shy but she's wild at heart."

"Hmm," Erika said. "I wonder how she went from that to Tom."

"Beats me. I lost touch with her after the show ended. Michelle and I still get together, I comfort her with the whole Heath Ledger situation, but we haven't talked to Katie in years." Busy shook her head. "So you're going to be Katie's marriage counselor, huh? Great. Tell her I said hi and that I think Tom's a son of a bitch."

"I will." Busy was one of several contacts Doug had given Erika to seek more information on Katie. Erika was also pleased to speak with her, as they had not seen each other since their film premiered. "By the way, you look good."

"I do? Thanks. I'm still working off the baby weight."

"You had a baby?"

Busy held up her diamond wedding ring. "I got married two years ago. Marc's a writer and a great guy. Our daughter, Birdie, is six months old."

"That's wonderful."

"It was good to talk to you again," Busy said. "You look great. You ought to come see me sometime. I think we have unfinished business." She gave Erika a wink.

Erika grinned back. "Definitely." I guess Busy's marriage is open, she thought. That's the case for most Hollywood couples and nearly all those among my friends.

"Give my love to Katie. Take care of yourself."

"You too," Erika replied. Busy clicked off. Okay, Erika thought. That was enlightening. There are two more people on the list: Chris Klein and Josh Jackson. I've never met either of them. They were Katie's boyfriends, so they should have a lot to say.

The buzz of Doug's security intercom interrupted Erika as she reached for the phone again. She turned in his desk chair and answered it. "Yes?"

"This is Clarke. Doug's on his way up with Katie."

Shoot, Erika thought. Either her flight was early or I've been on the phone too long. "Thanks, Clarke. Any trouble?"

"Some paparazzi spotted Katie at the airport. Frank and I lost them before we got her to her hotel. I also have a bunch of people in Guy Fawkes masks outside the club. A couple of my associates are watching them."

"Be careful," Erika said. "They could just be people who like to come here in costume."

"I know about those patrons, Erika. I work here, remember?" Clarke chuckled. "Katie seems like an okay girl. I think you'll like her."

"I hope you're right." Erika clicked off the intercom and straightened herself in the chair. Doug had prepared a meeting room for her and Katie but then two members of Parliament had demanded the same room to discuss a political arrangement. Every other private area in the club was already booked for a corporate meeting, sexual fling or other event. Doug had apologized and given Erika his office. Erika accepted with a smile, secure in the imposing room.

She stood up and moved around it now, adjusting the lights and closing the black satin curtains. I need the right atmosphere, Erika thought. She put some soft Enya music on the stereo. She then checked her looks in the mirror of the video-conference screen, nodding at her auburn ponytail and red satin dress. Erika considered the black suit jacket she also wore and then removed it. She also unbound her ponytail and let her hair fall about her shoulders. After nodding, Erika hung the jacket on the room's coat rack. As she did so, a knock sounded at the door. "Come in!"

Doug entered with a smile and held the door open for a tall woman in a black coat, violet blouse, and dark blue jeans. She had shoulder length black hair, a cherubic face and a runner's body. A black Gucci purse was on her left shoulder. Catholic and Scientology crosses hung from gold chains around her neck.

Katie Holmes's brown eyes flashed in surprise when she saw Erika. "I know you! You're ..." She frowned, snapping her fingers.

"Erika Christensen," Erika said. "We've met at a few parties and gatherings. I'm also an actress."

"Right!" Katie said with a smile. "You're the girl who sang 'At Last' at my Hollywood reception with Tom. I haven't seen you in a long time."

"Likewise," Erika replied. She had forgotten about that ceremony. Singing was another of Erika's sidelines. She was good at it but didn't do it that often. "It's great to see you again."

"I'll leave you two alone," Doug said. He shook hands with Katie. "It was nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too," Katie answered. She watched him exit and then turned back to Erika after the office door closed. "Friendly guy. Yours?"

"In a matter of speaking." Erika moved a visitor's chair close to the couch and waved Katie towards it. "Please sit down."

"You're my counselor?" Katie asked. Erika nodded. Frowning, Katie took her coat off and put it and her purse on the floor next to the couch. She then seated herself and looked at the framed degrees on the room's west wall. "This isn't your office."

"I don't have an office yet," Erika explained. "Counseling is a career I adopted when my acting hit a downturn. I got a psychology degree online from the University of Phoenix. I've been practicing for about three months now."

Katie raised an eyebrow. This woman is my counselor, she repeated to herself. Damn it! "Um, okay." She looked around the room again. "Aren't you going to take notes or hook me up to a lie detector?"

Erika shook her head. "I don't use lie detectors. My instincts work fine and are less intimidating to my clients. I also have a photographic memory."

"Oh," Katie said, relieved. Maybe this would be easier than she had thought it would be. "Wow."

Erika smiled at her and sat down in the visitor's chair, then continued. "I want you to know you can be as open with me as you want. What you say to me will be kept private. I am aware other people have told you that and not meant it, but I do mean it. I'll swear whatever oath you like."

"You won't tell Tom or the media?"

"No. I discussed seeing you with Doug and some other friends of ours, but I won't detail this session to them unless you want their input. You can mention it to Tom if you think he needs to know. I won't say anything."

Tom wasn't kidding, Katie thought. This woman is different! "Wow, thanks. Let me think about that. If you don't mind me asking, how much is Tom paying you?"

"Nothing. I don't take fees. I appreciate donations, but I never ask for them or set amounts. If you're wondering, I've done all right in this field so far. People can be remarkably generous when you help them. I give the money I don't need, which is most of what I earn, to reputable charities."

"Odd business plan."

Erika shrugged. "It worked for Paul Newman."

Katie laughed. "So you're not really getting anything out of this then?"

"Says who?" Erika gave her another smile. "I want to help you and I am, right?"

"Yeah," Katie said. You might be one of the few people who's actually bothered to try, she added to herself. Katie's acting career and time spent around other counselors had taught her how to detect dishonesty and she saw no sign of it in Erika. She's either really being honest, Katie mused, or she's a very good liar. I think I'll take my chances. "Tom didn't tell me my counselor would be you."

"I gathered that. How is he? Did he force you to come here?"

"He's fine. Coming here was my decision. Tom told me I didn't have to do it but he thought it would be wise. He had already gotten the ticket, so I thought 'what the heck'. Did he tell you about our marriage's issues?"

"The rumors told me first. I'm sure most of them are unfounded, right?"

Katie grimaced. "Um, well, do you know about those guys outside?"

She probably means the people in Guy Fawkes masks, Erika thought. "The 'V for Vendetta' wannabes?"

"Yeah, them. Those people have been at almost every one of Tom's and my public events in the past four years. I don't like it. Don't get me wrong, I know their agenda but ..." Katie paused. "Wait. Should I be telling you this?"

"It's okay," Erika said. She waved a hand to still Katie's concern. "Like I said, this discussion goes no further. I know their agenda and support parts of it too. Do you know Mike Rinder?"

"Yes," Katie said. So Erika's part of the shadow reformation that's taking place in Scientology, she thought. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I joined the movement with some hesitation when I became aware of it two years ago. Tom fired Jessica after I told him I couldn't take her public relations blunders anymore. Then Mike Rinder called me into his office and talked to me. He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to break up with Tom because of Jessica. I almost was until Mike told me about the reformation and calmed me down. I told Rinder I wanted to be part of the movement but I didn't wish to tell Tom about it. Rinder agreed. Jessica was at my wedding and I informed her of the arrangement. She showed no discernible reaction. I have not seen her since. Is sending me to meet Erika Tom's way of telling me he knows about the reformation now? Has he decided to become part of it also? I hope so. Of all the things I can't share with my husband, this is the biggest, bar none.

"Mike taught me some courses about the people like those protesters," Erika said, drawing back Katie's concentration. "There was also a United States Navy navigator and Anonymous hacker named Zeck Metz who taught me a lot before he was killed in Pakistan. I researched things further after he died."

Erika closed her eyes for an instant, remembering Zeck, and then continued. "Many of those people just want attention for themselves or want to hurt us. You should avoid them when you can. Some have actually suffered because of us, though, and some desire a realistic state of harmony with us. Those are people whom you want to confront and try to make peace with." Erika sighed. "I try to do that in spirit, even if I can't always do it in fact."

"Me too," Katie said, "but you do know how vicious some of those people are, right? And they've been increasing in number every year since I married Tom."

Erika nodded in understanding. "Some of them are just your fans. They don't understand that your life has moved on. You're not Joey Potter anymore."

"No, I'm not," Katie agreed, crossing her arms. "They also don't understand that I can have celebrity crushes same as they can. I think they're jealous that I got to realize mine."

Erika nodded again. It's time to get Katie off this thread, she thought. I don't want it clouding the real issue. She turned to the office coffee table and pointed at a crystal decanter and foil-wrapped package. "You want some tonic water? Or some pie?"

"Pie?" Katie asked. "You're offering me food?"

"You like chocolate, right?" Erika picked up the foil-wrapped package and opened it, showing Katie the caramel and chocolate dessert within.

"Yes!" Katie answered, enthused. She took the pie and a fork from Erika and began eating. "This is good." She swallowed another bite and then resumed speaking. "I guess I shouldn't be bothered by those protesters. I'm a celebrity. I need to adjust to people who take advantage of me for their own purposes, who spread rumors for fun and who have impossible expectations. These folks come with the career I've chosen. I know I should accept them and enjoy my life."

"But you can't."

"No." Katie took another bite of caramel and smiled. "What kind of pie is this? I've eaten chocolate pie before but it's never tasted so delicious."

"It's a special recipe. 'I Hate My Husband Pie'."

"From the Keri Russell movie 'Waitress'?"

"Exactly," Erika said, grinning. "I know the chef."

"Ironic name," said Katie. She savored another bite. "I like it, though."

Erika offered her a glass of tonic water and she accepted. The taste was bitter but calming to Katie's nerves. She swallowed a second sip and then took another bite of the pie.




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 05



"Save some for me, okay?" Erika said. She sat down beside Katie and stuck her own fork in the pie. The two giggled as they ate, pleased with their new closeness. Katie could not remember the last time she had spoken to another woman with such candor. It was a welcome change from her normal married life.

Katie's a very different girl than I thought, Erika reflected. Maybe it's that we're alone now that is allowing me to actually get to know her. "So is it just the protesters that have been bothering you?" Erika inquired.

Katie shook her head. "No. They're one of many things. Tom insists on introducing me to people who think they can tell me how to live my life. They don't know me and they hardly try to get to know me. They see me as someone they can order around, and they're so full of themselves. Most of them are older than I am too. You're the first girl my age I've talked to like this in a long time."

"I'm actually younger than you," Erika said. "I do have a unique sympathy with your situation, though." She touched the Scientology cross around Katie's neck.

Katie looked at Erika's hand. "Can I make another confession to you?"

"Sure, whatever you want."

The other actress took a breath. She wasn't sure about her next words but decided to say them anyway. "I only converted because Tom asked me." She took the pendant from Erika and tapped it. "He and most of his friends are into this and I thought I should be also. I do agree with some of the beliefs, I've seen evidence they're right, but I still believe in my other cross as well." She pointed at the Catholic cross that also hung around her neck. "Tom says he understands and he doesn't have a problem with that. He doesn't want me advertising it, though. In addition, I'm the only one in the family he lets be this way."

Erika nodded, recalling some of the stories she'd heard. "Maybe Suri can make up her own mind when she gets old enough."

She read my thoughts, Katie gasped. Whoa. "Yeah, I hope so too. I hope the same for our other kids."

Erika decided to try opening her up further. "I hear Tom's a real control freak."

"That's exaggerated some but yeah, he is." Katie sighed. "You know the name of this pie?" After Erika's nod, she continued. "My life would be easy if I did hate my husband. I don't, though. I love him so much." She took another bite. "I love him!" Katie declared after she had swallowed it down.

Do not jump on the couch, Erika begged her in silence. I hated when Tom did that for you on the talk shows.

Katie gulped her water again and continued. "Thanks to Tom, I have the chance to live a fantasy. I'm taking that chance. I knew going in what I was in for or so I keep reminding myself. I have a good life, mostly. Tom is the man of my dreams, pretty much, and the kids are great. We're a family and I don't want to break it up."

Erika nodded in understanding. "You shouldn't unless you have to."

"I don't have to," Katie said. "No matter what people think, I can handle this. I can handle my life. I just wish ..."

Erika gave her an interested look as she trailed off. "What? You wish what?"

"I wish Tom would let me be free to live my own life. I used to have so much fun before I met him." She coughed. "Did he tell you about his little problem?"

Katie wiggled her fingers and Erika guessed she meant Tom's erectile dysfunction. "He didn't tell me but I read his file. Emphasis on 'little'?"

Katie shook her head. "No! His dick is fine when he can keep it hard. I know a few ways of helping him. He's great in bed most of the time. He really does care about me. But there are other sides to my sexuality he doesn't know about. I'm afraid to tell him."

"Do you mean your affairs with women like Busy Phillips and Michelle Williams?"

Katie stared at Erika in shock. "How do you know about that?"

"I read your file," Erika replied. She held up a hand to stop Katie's outburst. "Relax. I meant what I said about what we discuss going no further. In fact, when we're done I'm going to give you the names of some Scientology ministers who can help ensure neither your file nor Tom's is ever seen by unauthorized people again. Outside the church or inside."

"Um, thanks." Katie thought Erika was pretty and liked her open friendliness, but the other woman's bravery was really bothering her. "Wait a second, though. I haven't told anyone in the church Busy and Michelle's names. How did you know?" 

"Busy's also my lover," Erika said in white lie. It will soon be true, she told herself, if our conversation earlier was any indication. "You may have seen us kissing onscreen in 'Home Room'?"

Katie raised her eyebrows in confusion. "Yeah, I did see that, but ... you both looked very different in that movie." She blushed. "So how many lovers do you have?"

"I don't keep count. I give myself to whomever I want who also wants me."

"Other people let you live like that?"

"Not always. It's my life, though, not theirs. The way I live is the way that makes me happy. I wasn't always like this and I won't deny I have my critics, but it's what works for me. It's easier when I don't spread it around that much. I'm also not the only one who lives like I do." Better distract her, Erika thought, seeing the startled look on Katie's face. "Busy told me everything about you, her, and Michelle. I don't see how you went from that to someone like Tom, though."

"Do you know about my breakup with Chris Klein?"

"Was that the reason?"

Katie nodded and summarized how Chris had left her after "Dawson's Creek" ended. Erika listened, saying little. She extended a hand and touched Katie's wrist during the story. Katie smiled at the comfort and let out a heavy sigh when she was done.

Erika considered her words and then nodded. "So you've been downhearted ever since Chris Klein dumped you. The only time you've really allowed yourself to be happy is when you're acting. The rest of the time, you can feel good but there's always a shadow hanging over you. You don't know what to do with yourself. You've been letting other people, mostly Tom, direct you. Am I right?"

"I guess so," Katie said.

"I thought as much," replied Erika. "I think I know your problem. You're not living your own life. You think you have to let Tom and his people tell you how to live it."

Katie stared at Erika. She pushed herself away from the other woman and put the pie and tonic water down on the office table. "I do. Tom and his people know what's best for me. I must do what they say if I want to keep Tom in my life. I don't want him to leave me. If one of us has to leave, I want to be the one."

"But you can't be," Erika said. Her hands were making rapid gestures. "You won't let yourself. Look, have people told you about the bridge to true freedom and happiness?"

She continued as Katie nodded. "Well, there's something about that concept few people will actually tell you. No person or philosophy can really give you that bridge. You yourself have to define, design, build, and walk it. Others may advise you, even give you tools, but in the end, you should not let them limit you. It is you yourself who knows best what suppresses your spirit and what will make it grow strong."

"You're saying I have to be assertive. I have to be my own woman. The real me."

"Exactly. If you want to take and keep control of your life, you have to be yourself. If you construct and live in a shell, you will never be happy. Anyone who loves you won't be happy either."

Katie nodded. Makes sense, she thought.

"You see, Katie," Erika went on, "love isn't about surrender." She pointed at Katie's pendants. "Both your crosses agree on that. Love's about people strengthening each other in a good way and accepting each other for who they are. If people who love you know what's good for them, they won't judge you for being yourself. If they do, they're probably not worth getting to know anyway. That's what I have found."

"Tom doesn't judge me!"

"Yes, he does, Katie. He controls you and that's a form of judgment." Erika exhaled her frustration. "If you want to be happy, you can't let him do that. You need to be the real you and show him that side of yourself. If you're really a liberated woman, you have to show the man you love that you are. Don't worry about Tom not liking you that way. According to his file, just about every one of his past wives and girlfriends is that kind of woman. I think he likes the type. He's just not willing to admit it."

Katie frowned, confused. I've met many of Tom's ex-girlfriends, she pondered, and both his ex-wives. Erika's right. They are all independent. I thought that was why Tom left them. Did they leave him instead?

"You have to get out of your shell," Erika repeated. "It's what's holding you back. You're hiding from your problems and letting your life stay ruined. Look, Katie, you can solve all your problems easily if you just take charge. The hell with Chris, he's out of your life and gone. Never mind him. Your career? You've had a pretty great one already, but it will never be great again if you don't take charge of yourself. The entertainment world does not want followers. Trust me."

She took a breath. "As for the critics and the media, don't worry about them. Let them do their thing. If you're not what they think you are, then that's your best revenge right there. They don't even need to know it. Ignore their phony rumors and death threats. It's no big deal. They already don't bother you nearly as much as you think they do. I check the web every now and then and their focus is on the fanatics, not you and me. It was different a few years ago, but it is better these days."

Katie nodded at Erika's words. "And those guys outside?"

"They may not even be protesters. A lot of people like to visit Doug's club in costume. Did you see any signs or leaflets?" Katie shook her head and Erika grinned, relieved. "You see? Don't be so paranoid. That's the worst effect of not living as your true self. You're looking over your shoulder all the time and you have to ignore your surroundings just to get where you're going. I used to hate that. I think it's probably worse for you, though. You have children."

"Yeah," Katie said, laughing along. She could sense no offense in Erika's words. "So if I just take charge of my life, all will be fine?"

"Not immediately, but yes. Your public image, your relationship with your family and friends, everything that matters should improve. Some things you may never get back but they're not important. We live in the present, Katie."

"This doesn't sound like a Scientology ideal."

Erika shrugged. "If you want, consider it a set of new unrevealed teachings. I get it more from experience than from any religion, though." She looked at Katie's crosses, then back at her eyes. "Don't let anybody tell you how to live your life, especially not religious leaders who too often think they're God. They aren't. I hate that people like them are in power in our church too, but they're on the way out. We just need to keep the faith and not let them control us."

Katie felt herself agreeing. Erika can show me the way to do that, she thought. I will listen. Then another problem occurred to her. "What about my husband, though? He's one of the bastards!"

"He doesn't have to be," Erika said. "You can change that by demonstrating that you won't put up with it." She again took Katie's hand. "If Tom sees you out of your shell and he really loves you, he will show you that he does. It's okay if you're afraid. I've felt afraid too. I still do, actually."

Wise words, Katie said to herself. She was staring at Erika again. I like this girl, she thought, locking her dark eyes on Erika's blue ones. I really like her. No one's ever been so forward in giving me advice, so daring, so right!

She gasped. Oh my God, I think I want her. She paused for an instant and then took a breath. If she was going to be as Erika had suggested, as she wanted to be, Katie knew she would have to once again act on her impulses. "Erika?" 

"Yes?" 

"Would you mind if I kissed you?"

"What?" Erika gaped. She held up a hand. "Katie, you're married."

"So?" Katie spat out. She took Erika's hand in hers, feeling old and new emotions taking over. "Don't worry about Tom. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. If I'm going to be the real me again, I have to bring that person back. I think you can help me."

I can, Erika thought, and I wouldn't mind doing it either. This girl is beautiful, warm, and kind. Tom told me to keep our counseling professional, though. It was my intention to fulfill the promise I made to him. But now, after I've met Katie and gotten to know her, I want her bad! Also, should I deny her? If I don't reward her for expressing herself, will she refuse to find meaning in everything I've told her?

Erika knew she couldn't take that chance. "Kiss me, Katie," she said, smiling and opening her arms.

Katie leaned towards Erika and kissed her mouth. The other woman's lips were sweet and full of passion. Katie felt lust suffuse her insides and become overpowering. She had not been with a woman since before her breakup with Chris. Now she realized how much she had been missing it. Glorious, she thought, kissing Erika again. This is wonderful.

The Enya music swelled from the stereo as Katie and Erika embraced. Let me sail, let me sail...

Erika kissed Katie back, feeling the other woman shiver as they embraced. They cuddled close to one another, tongues roaming in each other's mouths. Their arms wrapped around one another's shoulders. Katie pulled Erika's body into hers and rubbed her breasts against her new friend's. Erika felt the points of Katie's nipples, which were as hard as her own were. No bra, she observed, feeling the back of Katie's blouse. I'm not wearing one either.

She put her hand on Katie's chest and pulled back, staring into the other woman's eyes. "Are you sure you want this?" she asked. "I want to do more than kiss you. Much more."

"I want that too," Katie said with a nod. She leaned in and placed her lips against Erika's throat.

Erika put her fingers in Katie's hair, grabbed her head and moved their lips back to one another's. I'm still keeping my promise to Tom, she thought with a giggle. Katie and I will be having fun together, not sleeping. She paused and looked at Katie. "Why are you crying?"

"I am?" Katie blinked and wiped away her sobs. "Sorry. I'm just very happy all of a sudden."

"Good," Erika said. Her heart was beating hard in her chest. "Let's make you more so."

She put her hands on Katie's breasts and flicked the other woman's nipples through her blouse's fabric. Katie put her own fingers on Erika's tits and squeezed them. The music thrummed in counterpoint to her movements.

"One second," Erika said, pulling back. She looked at the office door and relaxed when she saw that it was shut tight. Erika stood up, walked over, and locked the deadbolt. She then kicked off her low heels, unsnapped the back of her dress, and pulled down the zipper. She pushed the dress's sleeves from her shoulders and turned back to Katie as it hit the floor and formed a crimson pool around her body. The other woman had been watching Erika and she smiled in approval now as she looked over Erika's nudity. Katie removed her shoes and beckoned Erika close.

Erika lowered herself back to the couch and moved in on Katie with a predator's crouch. They kissed and rubbed each other's breasts. Erika moved her hands to the bottom of Katie's blouse, gripped it and pulled it upwards. Katie shrugged free of the garment and then unbuttoned her jeans and let Erika yank them off her body. Naked except for their white underwear and tan stockings, the two actresses deepened their embrace.

The song swelled around them. Sail away, sail away, sail away...

Katie cried out and quivered as Erika touched her panties. "It's okay to be afraid," Erika told her. She stopped with her hand still on Katie's groin.

"I don't care that I'm afraid," Katie replied. She put her left palm on Erika's cleavage. "Fuck me."

Smiling, Erika moved in and kissed the other woman's forehead, then her cheek. Katie's left hand fondled Erika's breasts and her right hand stroked the small of Erika's back. Erika's hands pushed off Katie's panties and then her own. They rubbed their legs together, feeling each other's heat. Erika flicked Katie's pendants over her shoulder. Tangling their fingers in each other's hair, they kissed again.

"What do you want?" Erika asked Katie. She knew many techniques and was unsure which would be best here.

"Just touch me," Katie said. "Lick me too, please."

"You got it," Erika said. She pushed Katie into the couch's black leather cushions and started kissing her way down the other woman's body. Her fingers moved in counterpoint, rubbing Katie's brown nipples and tanned thighs. They also rubbed her shaven snatch, opening Katie's legs and increasing the lubrication between them. Erika sensed her own emotions rising but forced them down. Katie needed to come first. There would be plenty of time for Erika's pleasure later.

Katie caught her lead. She rubbed Erika's hair and shoulders as her new friend moved down, settling her body and letting Erika touch it. Erika pinched the sides of her labia and her clit. She then moved her hands out of Katie's pussy and onto her rear. Katie moaned as Erika massaged that area.

Hmm, Erika thought, an unexpected erogenous zone. All right then. She licked Katie's breasts, sucking hard on each nipple. Her hands continued rubbing Katie's butt all throughout, sparking further moans.

We can sail, we can sail..., Enya sang in accompaniment. Sail away, sail away, sail away... Sail away, sail away, sail away...

Erika stopped and let Katie subside for an instant, then kissed her stomach. Katie's fingers yanked at her hair. You really want this, Erika thought. Okay, I won't keep you waiting any longer.

She flicked her tongue in Katie's navel and then moved down and stabbed it into the other woman's cunt.

"Yes!" Katie cried out. Her thighs clenched hard around Erika's head. "Suck it!" Shaking back and forth on the couch, she let her emotions skyrocket.

I am not giving this up again, Katie promised herself. I now know my mistake. I achieved my dream but I forgot it was mine. I surrendered to it. I let it conquer me. I will do that no longer. From this moment on, I am taking back control over my life.

Screaming in freedom, she wiggled her body. Erika grimaced as she licked Katie's pussy. This girl might actually smother me if I was beneath her, she thought. I'll have to be careful she doesn't go too crazy on me. She looked up at Katie and smiled, then resumed her licking. Her hands caressed Katie's buttocks. It was Erika's intention to both build up the other woman's pleasure and hold her still.

The plan appeared to be working, as Katie began laughing in joy. Erika still felt her new friend's thighs tight around her head but they were no longer shaking that hard. Good, she thought, licking Katie's clit. The other woman's groin jumped at the attention. Erika considered backing off again and then shrugged. She had never been with anyone this vigorous, but she could handle it.

I hope you're ready, Katie, Erika thought with a chuckle. She squeezed Katie's butt cheeks again, then moved one hand off them and put it back on Katie's chest.

Caressing hard at Katie's breasts, ass, and pussy, Erika matched the intensity of the other woman's motions. Wherever Katie moved, her new friend's tongue and fingers were there to meet her. Her juices were in high volume now and Erika was swallowing them down. She imagined she was flicking away the vestiges of the false Katie, taking them into her body and destroying them. When she was finished, only Katie's true self would remain. Would Katie be happy with it? Would Tom and the public? Erika didn't know but wanted to find out.




Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 05



Sail away, sail away, sail away... Sail away, sail away, sail away...

Katie quivered in orgasm, taking the first step. There, she thought as her body settled. That's the last time I totally abandon myself to the will of another person. I must be who I am, not who they say. I thank you for the reminder. Katie looked down at her benefactor and smiled as Erika lapped up the juices spilling out of her crotch.

The music swelled and then ended. Katie closed her eyes. When the next song came on, she opened her eyes and put her hand on her new lover's shoulder. Erika looked up and grinned as Katie spoke two words she'd been waiting to hear.

"Your turn."

Wanting more room for their coupling, Erika rolled off the couch onto the floor. Katie lay down beside her on the office's indigo carpet. The two women embraced again, kissing and cuddling. Erika got on her back and Katie moved over her. Katie's skill at making love to other women was returning fast. Shivers of pleasure coursed through Erika and her body shook as Katie leaned down and caressed her, sucking at her hard red tits.

Katie lapped and caressed Erika's neck and cleavage, finding sensitive areas and fondling them. There was a deep ache between her thighs and another in her heart. Katie paid them little attention. Her pain was not important and she could not give in to any remaining doubts. She knew what she had to do now and how she had to be. All she wanted was to be herself again and to thank Erika for showing her the way.

She licked her benefactor's breasts and pushed two fingers along Erika's hips and into her snatch. The enthusiasm Katie felt for her new lover was on the rise. She happily gave in to it. She rubbed her two fingers on Erika's labia and added a thumb that pushed hard at the other woman's clit. Erika moaned with each movement. Katie's mouth went back and forth between her breasts, sucking the nipples. She also licked around them, loving the spreading flush on Erika's skin. Katie could feel the warmth in Erika's body increase with the dampness in her cunt.

"Yes!" Erika cried, hit by a particularly strong sensation. She shook her body hard, giving Katie a taste of her own medicine. Katie laughed, slapping Erika's thighs and biting her breasts.

Katie then licked a path down Erika's torso, lapping up her sweat. The taste was enjoyable and Katie knew the juices between Erika's legs would be even more so. She pushed Erika's thighs apart and licked at the blonde thatch between them, intent on reaching her goal.

Erika's hair shook as she flung her head about, moaning and crying out. Katie's tongue wrapped around her clit and Erika shouted the other woman's name.

"Katie! Love me, Katie!"

"I will," Katie assured her. I thank you, she thought, kissing Erika's pussy. I don't think I could have found myself again without you. This is what I needed, a friend my own age, who was okay with my old life and my new life. Someone who was like me in the past and yet like me now, who could remind me it's okay to be who I am.

She breathed hard against Erika's clit bud and squeezed her thighs. Erika rubbed her fingers against Katie's hair, pushing the other woman's head farther into her. Katie scratched her nails along Erika's hips, pushing down the tops of her stockings. Then she reached up and grabbed Erika's breasts. She squeezed and flicked their nipples while licking Erika's clit.

It didn't take much of this to send Erika soaring. She hit her peak, gasped, and calmed. "Thank you, Katie!"

"You're welcome," Katie said with a laugh. She sucked down a torrent of sweet fluid from Erika's core.

Erika let her emotions subside, accepting the hug and comforting kisses Katie offered her in their afterglow. "You want to come again?" Erika asked, touching Katie's cunt.

"I did just now, watching you," Katie replied, snickering. "But, yeah, I'll take another one in a few minutes."

Erika smirked and kissed her. "I have a confession to make to you. I never really thought much of you until now. I was wrong in that. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Katie said. "I didn't know what to think of you when I met you either." She pecked Erika on the lips. "Now I think we're going to be very good friends."

"Amen to that," Erika agreed. I won't be fucking your husband, though, she added to herself. Tom doesn't do anything for me. I hope you're okay with me just loving you. Katie settled her heart for now with another kiss. Erika stuck her tongue in the other woman's mouth and lashed it back and forth as they embraced.

Suddenly Katie pulled away. She smiled and looked around the office. "Hey," she said, "do you think that your boyfriend would like to join us?"

"What?" Erika asked, shocked. "You want to cheat on Tom with Doug too?"

"Yeah," Katie said. She took a deep breath. "You threw me for a loop just now. You got me thinking. I know I still love Tom but I'm no longer sure I want to go back to him. I think I need to further test myself. I haven't fucked another man besides Tom since my breakup with Chris and Doug is really nice. He let you use his office and sent those guys to pick me up at the airport. You're fun but I think I owe him some thanks too."

"I understand." Erika beamed. "I should warn you, though. Doug has a thing about not getting close to married women."

"Too much honor, huh? Fine. I won't give him my pussy. If he wants it, though, he can have my ass."

Erika returned the laughter. She knew Doug would enjoy what Katie proposed and that she would like watching it. "I'll get him in here." She got to her feet and walked over to the desk. Smiling and wiping sweat from her brow, she activated the speakerphone and dialed Doug's cell.

He answered on the first ring. "What's up, Erika?"

"Can you come inside your office?" Erika asked. "Katie and I have become very good friends and she wants you to join us."

"I heard," Doug said in a very pleased tone.

"What?" Erika asked, surprised. She had thought Doug didn't have microphones or cameras in any areas of his club other than the main floor and hallways. He was very concerned about lawsuits from guests, even though what went on in their private meetings sometimes greatly intrigued him. "Did you have your ear to the door?"

"Hell no. My office door is solid oak with a cork center. I was curious about what you were going to say to Katie, though, so I bugged the decanter. I was going to confront Katie with it later to get her reaction, see if she was really thinking for herself or not."

Erika looked at the decanter on the room's coffee table and gasped. For the first time, she noticed a hair-thin antenna sticking up from beneath the decanter's label. "Damn it, Doug, we want the same things. Why do you not trust me?"

"There are things going on you don't know about."

"As usual. This is because of your experiences with Scientology before we met, isn't it? Doug, you and I have known each other for six years and we've discussed our issues several times. Aren't we past this by now?"

"I, well, I guess not. I want to be, though."

"Then here's the deal. You will share all your secrets with me, and I don't mean when you think I should know. If you can't do that, I think we should stop seeing each other." She pointed at the decanter and gnashed her teeth. Katie smirked in reply, then reached out and snapped the antenna in half. Erika nodded thanks. "Katie spotted your device. She also deserves full disclosure."

"I agree. I planned to tell you both anyway when you got through with the session. I considered saying something beforehand, but then I worried you might tip Katie off. Alicia's beside me listening. I got her to rethink getting personally involved in this. There's no one else here. I thought you weren't going to do anything physical with Katie. Plans change, huh?"

"Yes."

"I will communicate better with you from now on. You have my word. Can you ask Katie if she meant what she said a minute ago?"

Erika directed her eyes at Katie, who nodded. Good, Erika thought. You passed his challenge, we passed yours. She asked Katie with her expression if she still wanted Doug to enter the office. The other woman grinned and Erika smiled back. "She did. You better get in here, though, and explain everything."

"As you wish."

***

Los Angeles, California. Four Days Later.

Tom Cruise paced the floor of his living room. Angst was overpowering him again. Five days ago, he had sent Katie away to meet with Erika. She had called him upon her arrival in London and then he heard nothing for the next three days. Then he got a call that morning from a stranger advising him Katie would be arriving home sometime in the evening. She was flying back to L.A. on the Concorde.

Astonished, Tom asked who was paying for that. He hadn't flown on the Concorde in years, not since before "War of the Worlds" came out. "An old and new friend," was all the answer he got before the stranger hung up.

Disturbed, Tom called his personal friend, Scientology Chairman David Miscavige. He admitted everything he had done and asked forgiveness. Miscavige stunned Tom when he said, "I know Erika's a good person. I consider her one of the few psychologists we can trust. I have also been informed that she represents an organization which has the fate of our church in its hands. If I interfere with them, it would put the entirety of Scientology in peril. You will be a member of this group again soon. Make sure they know I intend to cooperate with them and further their goals. I'm not going to be in my position forever, and I want Scientology to survive."

"What are you talking about?" Tom demanded. "Nobody could possibly threaten us as seriously as you imply!"

"They're not threatening us. They're going to improve our conditions. At least I hope so." Miscavige exhaled. "You and Katie do whatever you have to do for your marriage, Tom. We both know you could be handling things better."

Tom requested further answers but Miscavige refused to say and hung up. Thinking about the call afterwards put Tom at ease. He waited for Katie calmly the rest of the day.

It was evening now and Tom had cautiously prepared for Katie's arrival. He had sent their children to his sister Lee Anne, who was always there for him. The new maid had cleaned the house top to bottom. Wine and roses were on the front end table and Katie's favorite meal was in the oven waiting to be heated, unwrapped and served. Tom had spared no expense. If Erika didn't do anything, he told himself, I am going to try. I have to get Katie back tonight. This has been going on too long.

A chime over the front door sounded, letting him know a vehicle was approaching up the main driveway. That better be her, Tom thought. He looked out the window and saw a green Cadillac sedan stopping in front of the house. The largest black man Tom had ever seen next to Michael Clarke Duncan got out of the passenger side and opened the back right door. Katie stepped out, dressed in white opera gloves and a tight royal blue gown Tom had never seen before. Her hair was in a new style too, fuller and more flowing. Tom blinked as he watched Katie clasp the large black man's arm and return his grin.

Another man got out of the car's opposite rear door and walked around. Tom thought he recognized him. A lean muscular fellow with long black hair dressed like a carpenter. I think I've met him at some party, Tom said to himself. He's Keri Russell's boyfriend or husband. I haven't seen Keri in a long time but that guy was with her when last I did see her.

Tom frowned as he watched the carpenter shake hands with Katie. He had a strange look on his face, akin to the expression Tom tried to adopt onscreen whenever he reached the conclusion of a tragic film. An expression that said he was glad to have lived through recent events even if he was somewhat disappointed by their final results. Tom didn't think the expression was false. What's that guy's name? Tom picked his brain. Sam? Steve? No, Shane, I think.

Katie and Shane exchanged nods and he stepped out of her path. She then turned and flashed a smile at the Cadillac's driver, a pug-faced man in a Houston Astros cap, before walking alone towards the front door. All three of her escorts stood watching her go with hope in their eyes.

Who are these men? Tom speculated. Jealous voices yelled in his brain and he shut them up with a wave. Surely, the three were no one important. Tom picked up the bouquet of red roses from the front end table and waited for Katie to knock on his door.

She didn't knock. Instead the door was unlocked and pulled open. Katie saw him at once and smiled as she put her key back in her purse. Tom blinked again, seeing a light in her eyes that was as unfamiliar as her dress and hairstyle. No wait, he thought. I think I have seen that expression on her in a couple of her movies and TV appearances. Never in real life, though. What is going on here?

"Hello," Katie said, stepping over the threshold. "Are the kids here?"

"Hello," Tom answered. "They're not here, they're with Lee Anne. I thought we should be alone tonight." He extended the flowers. "I got you these."

"Thanks." Katie took the bouquet and sniffed it, then smiled and put it back on the end table. She closed the door behind her and locked it, then turned back to Tom. He looked from her to the window. The Cadillac was already gone.

"Who were those men who dropped you off?"

"Security and moral support," Katie said after hesitating.

Tom grimaced and then decided he better change the subject. "Did you see Erika?" he asked his wife, feeling her uncertain gaze. "Did she help you?"

Katie took a breath and nodded. "Yeah. Thank you. She was great."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Katie repeated. She glanced around the room and then looked him directly in the eye. "Thanks to her help, I've reached a decision. I'm divorcing you."

Tom felt his heart thud. "What?"

"You've been the most romantic man to me, Tom, and I love you for it, but you're also a didactic prick. If you don't know the word 'didactic', it means controlling. You've been that way to me. You've been a selfish coward too, letting the wrong people make your decisions for you. I've had enough of that for a while now and I'm finally taking action. I can't be part of this life you've built any longer. I'm divorcing you and I'm taking our daughter with me. I have a new friend who's going to help me write a tell-all book about our relationship."

Katie held up a finger as Tom opened his mouth to respond. "No. No questions, no words. If you want to convince me not to leave, you have one chance. Here and now, thirty minutes, and you can't preach or get angry. If you do, we're done." 

Tom did not know what to say. This can't be Katie, he thought. It can't be! Some body snatcher has replaced her or Erika brainwashed her mind! How in the heck can she be so...

Katie stepped close and put her arms around him, derailing his train of thought. She leaned down to account for their height difference and kissed him hard on the mouth.

Whoa! Tom had not felt such unfettered passion from a woman in a long while. He could not recall Nicole ever kissing him this hard, not even after he agreed to let her attend swinging parties with him and John. Tom's giving those parties up out of jealousy and his church leaders' demands was one of many things that motivated Nicole to leave him and among the toughest decisions he'd ever made. His first wife Mimi had never kissed him this hard either, not even after he told her he was converting to Scientology as she had wanted. Lee Anne had come close their first time together, maybe, but that had been over thirty years ago and Tom had given her up as anything more than a sister and good friend. His current wife, Katie, had not once kissed him like this before now.

"Katie?" he asked as she pulled away.

"This is the real me," Katie answered his shock. Her tone was firm, emphasizing each word. "The woman, not the little girl who doesn't know what to do with herself. I know I haven't shown this person to you before but you better get used to her. She's here to stay. However, to keep on loving you she needs some very strong convincing."

Katie kissed him again, and Tom felt his insides shake. Her arms pulled them closer together. She placed one of her hands on his groin and confirmed what Tom already knew. He was hard, attracted to the strange new Katie, and it wasn't just the Viagra he had taken a few minutes before her arrival. Tom wondered if he could really persuade this new Katie not to follow through on her stated plans. If, indeed, he could ever induce her to do anything.

As she bore him down towards the living room floor and put his hands on her body, he realized trying might be among the best or worst experiences of his life.

***

London, England. The Next Morning.

"So he likes the new you?" Erika said into her phone. "He said you had him at 'hello'? That's great, Katie!"

She listened as Katie responded. 

"I see. Well, I think that's a good idea. Don't take things too fast. I know you want to stay with Tom but you may not want him to know that just yet. Remember that Keri and Shane are on call if you need anything, Taron and Melissa too. Believe in yourself, okay?" She paused again. "Thanks, I will. We'll talk again soon."

Erika ended the call and put the phone down. She then turned to the other two naked people with her in the master bedroom of Inside Out's penthouse. They lay beside one another on the white mattress of the well-lit room's king size bed. Sheets and blankets were in a heap on the floor next to their discarded clothing.

"That was Katie," Erika said. "She's okay. Tom likes the new her better than the old."

"Tom appreciates the new Katie?" Alicia Witt asked, grinning. "Wow."

"Hey, I liked her," Doug Ramsay said. His sky blue eyes sparkled as he laughed. "I'm glad Tom knows what's good for him."

"He may not yet," Erika replied. "Katie got him to agree to join our church's shadow reformation and reactivate his Friendship status, but she's still working up to an open marriage. They will also continue avoiding anything that might get rid of the tabloid attention and protesters. Tom's publicist wants them to maintain the veneer of scandal to keep up public interest." Erika's tone communicated that she didn't like that idea. "Katie is following your plan, though, Lish."

"That's good," Alicia said. "I wouldn't want to think all that fingering I gave Katie while we discussed the plan distracted her too much from my words." The redhead ran a hand through her cap of crimson curls and looked at the wall. Erika recalled that she was reluctant to take a direct role in affairs before. Then Alicia heard the tape Doug recorded of Katie's talk with Erika and changed her mind. Upon entering his office at the first session, Doug erased the tape as Katie stipulated. An apology and odd smile later, they became intimate acquaintances. Alicia soon gained the same level of trust. The five of them talked much in the days after the first session. Shane, Keri, Clarke and others also participated. Katie had learned to assert herself by the time they were through.

Both she and Erika were also briefed on the plot Doug and John Travolta had concocted. The things the scheme had achieved helped Erika get over her initial disappointment at not being taken into their confidence before Tom's call. Katie gaped when she was filled in, and subsequently agreed to join the Friendship when Doug made the offer. "A chance to take part in your plans for my life," she said. "How can I say no?"

"Maybe Katie's marriage will stabilize now," Erika conjectured in the present. "Katie can motivate Tom to fix his issues. What do you think, Doug?"

"Well, do you know the story about the boy and the Zen master?"