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No Past, No Future

By: mistress_diana



Author's Note: I got the idea for this piece after watching the video to "Show Me How to Live" a few times. It's amazing how a few gratuitous shots can start you down that celebrity-fantasy road. My apologies to Chris' wife, but sometimes you just got to share.

* * * * *

The sun was setting over the far distant hills and fatigue was settling in. You can only drive so far and so fast before the road mesmerizes you and become hopelessly lost. That thought was going through my head as I raced across the early summer desert of New Mexico. And you can only run for so long. Sighing I began easing the speed down from a cool hundred down to a more manageable seventy-five miles per hour. I had to think.

The Southwest is filled with miles of highway that run through nothing. Along the way there are towns – some populated, some boarded up. I always wondered what happened to those towns that were empty. What dreams dried up and died? Where did those people go? We are a country filled with a restless shifting population. From the first pioneers who cut across this same stretch of nothingness we haven't changed a bit. 

The desert to me that late afternoon was a place to escape my woes. My relationship was on the rocks big time. People were mad at me. My job was in the balance. I wasn't popular. The remedy? Hit the road with a fast car and an overnight bag. Get out of town, cool off and think.

I was closing in on the Arizona border and I knew that if I didn't stop now it would be a long way until the next town and I was too tired to drive in the utter darkness that enveloped the secondary highway I was on. I pulled into the one horse town that I was fast approaching with a swirl of dust behind me. The first place I saw was a little cantina. The only other vehicle in the lot was a very used pickup truck. I pulled in next to it and stepped out into the fading light.

It was still pretty warm and I could feel the heat coming off the desert floor in waves. The departing sun cast long streaks of red and orange across the sky. The mountains were purple. I grabbed my bag and headed inside to freshen up before I did anything else.

The bar was bigger than I thought, but the only occupant was the bartender. He was leaning against the counter watching TV smoking a cigarette. His head turned to check me out as I entered.

"Where's the restroom?" I asked.

A look over his left shoulder guided me to the Ladies.

"I'm going to freshen up first," I said awkwardly, feeling I had to explain something. "Then I'll be back for a beer."

"What'll you have?"

I scanned the taps and settled on a local brew. He nodded and went to get a glass. I decided I better hurry up if I wanted to drink that beer while it was still cold. I eased myself into the tiny bathroom. At least it was clean, I thought as I began to take assessment of my image in the mirror.

What greeted me in the glass needed some work. My long, brown hair was all over the place despite the bun I put it in many miles ago. My face had a slight coating of dust. Underneath, the skin was slightly red from the glare of the sun all day. I needed a wash, a change of clothes and a little makeup. I quickly got to work and fifteen minutes later I felt a bit more presentable.

Once my bag was back in the car and I was settled on a barstool I began to think of what I was going to do that evening. First up, food. I dug into some tacos and beans and rice. A couple of beers went down with that. Feeling loose and relaxed I leaned on the bar and asked the bartender if there was any place to stay the night.

He snorted laughter and I thought maybe he had some sexist answer to the question, but thought better of it when I gave him a serious look.

"No," was all he came out with after some thought.

Well, that was easy, I thought. No need to find a hotel. Looks like either an all-nighter was in store or a quick snooze in the car. Looking around at the empty bar I didn't think I could stay up all night with only the bartender as company. But that was hours away.

But things were going to change in a big way. Around seven a bunch of vehicles pulled into the parking lot. A few buses that were outfitted for overnight travel accompanied the collection of SUVs that parked around my car. The bartender seemed to be expecting this caravan.

"What's going on out there?" I asked.

"Bunch of rock and rollers," he said. "They're makin' some video in the desert and come here at night to eat, drink and play pool. Nice guys, though. They tip well."

"I bet", I said as I turned my head. "Are they local guys?"

"Nah, nothing round here anyway. These boys are from California and somewheres else."

I was about to ask who they were exactly when the front door opened and a bunch of guys came in. None of the faces seemed familiar, but they weren't exactly unpleasing to the eye. I watched as they filed in. Everyone looked tired and thirsty. When they saw the bartender they smiled and hailed him. 

Judging by the long hair and grungy clothes they were either in a band or video producers or both. I didn't want to stare too long so I turned back to my beer. All and all there must have been twenty five guys and a few women thrown in. They turned on the jukebox, bought beers and ordered food. They didn't seem to pay any attention to me and I was glad. I felt horribly out of place in my jeans, western boots and sleeveless blouse.

I spent the next little while watching TV, thinking about 'back home' and watching the crew. Eventually I noticed a familiar face and gasped. These guys were a little more famous than I thought. Off to the side of the main group stood someone I had seen many times in years gone by, both on the small screen and on the stage. And by the looks of it, age had only improved his looks.

The bartender came over to refill my glass.

"Audioslave is here?" I tried to whisper.

"Oh yeah, that's what they're called. I couldn't remember. You heard of 'em?"

I nodded. "That's the lead singer over there," I said pointing.

"You don't say..." He looked at me. "You want to meet him, don't ya? I can tell by the look on yer face."

I blushed. Damnit, was I that much of an open book?

The bartender went over to the other end of the bar. "Hey, you...Chris, right?" he yelled.

Chris turned his head and looked over at us. "What's up, dude?"

"C'mere for a second, will ya?"

Chris ambled over and I got the best view of him all night. My eyes did a quick scan and took in: short, cropped hair – jet black, lean body, black jeans, white shirt with a t-shirt underneath, slightly burnt face, and those green eyes. Jeez.

The bartended cocked a thumb in my direction. "This here lady was askin' about you."

I wanted to die. I mean, I'm not exactly a teenage girl with a crush on some lead singer. This guy was the same age as me. We were mature. Been through it all. 

Chris turned his head to look at me. I smiled weakly. I felt foolish, why would this gorgeous specimen of a man care about me? I looked like I hadn't slept in a week and I probably was still disheveled despite the quick cleanup. 

But Chris winked at me and smiled a rare smile. I always remembered him so damned serious in the videos.

"Well? Go talk to her or somethin'," said the bartender who suddenly became a matchmaker. I felt my body tense up. I never had contact with a celebrity before, especially someone who occupied a few day dreams back when.

"I intend to," Chris said as he grabbed a fresh beer and ambled over to me.

First thing I noticed as he came to stand next to me was how tall he was. Had to be at least six feet. I barely clocked in at 5'5".

"Mind if I join you?" he asked in a soft voice. 

"N-no, not at all," I gulped.

Seated, it was easier to talk to him. He wasn't towering over me.

He stuck out his hand. "I'm Chris," he said.

"Um, I know," I said and then realized it was the polite way of asking who I was. I took his hand in mine, shook it, felt incredible heat and said: "I'm Kat."

"Kat? As in..."

"Katrina," I replied. I released his hand and felt the warmth still radiating in my palm.

"Nice name," he said and took a sip of his beer.

"So, what are you guys doing out here?" I asked, trying to act casual.

"Video shoot. This is only the third day and it's killing us."

"Oh yeah, it's brutal out here," I said staring at the bar top. His gaze was too intense to look at for very long.

"You live here?" he asked.

"No, just passing through. I'm from West Texas."

"Ah, I thought I heard a drawl," he said, smiling again.

"Well, yeah, it's hard to miss."

"So where you headed?"

Think fast. "Got a sister in Sedona. I'm heading out there."

"Nice place."

Please don't ask any more questions about me, I pleaded silently. I'm running, remember?

Somehow he got the message. We began to ease into a nice chat about music and current events. He was pretty knowledgeable about a lot of things. The more we talked, the more at ease I became. 

"So your career got resurrected," I observed.

"In a big way," he agreed.

"I miss Soundgarden, though. I saw you guys a couple of times over the years. It was always a good show."

"Yeah, we had fun," he said in between sips of his beer. "Sometimes I miss it too, but you got to move on."

So true, I thought.

"And I always liked guys with long hair, but this do definitely suits you," I said, referring to his hair.

He ran his hand across the top. The hair was spiky, but not 80's spiky. I noticed the long side burns across the strong jaw line. My breath caught for a second. He looked good.

We each did a shot of tequila. I was buzzed but not drunk. I wanted to flirt but it couldn't come out. I was out of practice and but the desire was there, hiding in the shadows and being coaxed out by the tequila. 

I did a quick check of the situation. It was creeping towards eleven. Chris was sitting closer to me. (I could tell by the heat that he was giving off). The rest of the crew was drunk and raising hell. One more beer and I wouldn't risk driving. And my bladder was full. I excused myself and went back to the Ladies.

After a long pee, I looked at my reflection again. No sign of desperation there, I thought. Good sign. I could walk out of the bar a respectable woman, get in my car, drive down the road and sleep it off with the window cracked and the doors locked. I began to figure out my departing speech as I walked back to the bar.

When I got there I saw that I didn't need to use the speech. Chris wasn't there. I couldn't tell with the smoke if he was in the crowd so I quickly slipped outside, hopefully unnoticed. 

The night air was still warm and it enveloped me as I made my way to the car. I could hear the music inside but it was muffled. Outside it was quiet except for the distant rumble of thunder. I didn't like that, but I wasn't going far. Just down the road a piece where I could knock the seat back and snooze until daylight.

I felt relieved that I could get out of the bar without feeling guilty about anything. Except for the handshake there was no touching. As bad as things were at home, at least I could say I didn't make it worse by doing something...bad. Then I thought that maybe Chris wanted to break away from me too and didn't know how to do it without hurting my feelings. I almost chuckled at that thought. My feelings had been absolutely stomped on the last few months; I didn't know what was left of them.

"Not much," I mumbled as I stood next to the door to my car. I dug the keys out of my pocket and took a minute to decide if I could drive. I was about grab the door handle when a hand closed over mine.

"Where you going?" was the soft question. A chill went down my spine.

I didn't turn around. "Away," I said. "Before I get too drunk to drive."

"Don't you have a place to stay the night?" the voice asked again.

"No. I was going to sleep it off in my car."

"That's not fun," and the voice got lower, and, dammit, sexier.

"Well, it's the best I can do. This town doesn't have any accommodations."

The hand squeezed my hand which was still frozen to the door handle. "It does, you just have to know where to look."

I sighed. "Chris, I'm not some groupie girl looking for a one nighter...ok?"

"I never thought you were, Kat," came the smooth reply. Whether he was serious or not suddenly became immaterial when I felt his body lean against mine. The heat again.

"Fuck," I mumbled.

"Only if you want to," he said playfully. "Now turn around."

I turned around which was hard because both his arms were on either side of me. When I faced him, our lips were dangerously close. I leaned back.

"You don't want this?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"I don't know what I want, Chris. Honestly, I don't."

"I know...that's why you're running."

"How did...", but I never finished. His hands came up to frame my face and before I knew it, his lips were bearing down on mine. I closed my eyes because if I saw those green eyes I would melt into a puddle and there would be nothing for him to kiss.

And damn, did it feel good. His lips were slightly chapped from the relentless sun, but they knew exactly what I liked. Soon he parted them and slid his tongue along my teeth. His hands glided across my hips and pulled me so close I felt the hardness down below. In the space of a few seconds his heat had driven all thoughts of who I was from my mind.

At last he broke the kiss. I was panting.

He took a step back and looked at me. In the parking lot light, his black hair and goatee was contrasted by the slightly reddish-brown skin.

"Look around you, Kat. There is nothing here. We are both miles from home and who we are. Don't fight it."

He was right; I didn't want to fight it. I wanted to rip his clothes off, see his body and fuck. And I knew he wanted the same.

"Where?" was all I could ask.

The devilish grin was back. "I have just the place. Small, but private." He held out his hand. "Are you willing?"

"Yes," I said and realized there was no turning back now.

I reached for his hand and he led me silently away. We walked down the road to another lot technically outside of the town. Several buses were there along with some other assorted vehicles, including a vintage white Dodge. We walked to a VW bus and he opened the door.

"After you," he said.

I stepped in and was immediately overtaken by the heat and stuffiness. I couldn't see what was inside, but it felt as if a bed had been set up.

"No worries," he said, sliding in after me. The top vent was opened along with a window and soon the air began to circulate.

"So what do you think?" he asked. "This is home away from home."

"Not bad, I guess. Beats my setup for the night."

He lit a small lamp and hung it from the ceiling of the van. The light was soft and intimate and I could see him. His face was hungry.

There was a brief awkward moment.

"Hey, Kat, if you don't want to..."

"I do."

"Hard or soft?"

"Hard. God, make it hard."

He chuckled.

"But first I want to see you," I whispered.

"Ah yes, I know what you are saying." He got up into a crouch. "But first some music." He reached into the front and soon his voice was coming out of the speakers. "Damnit, not me," he laughed. A few seconds later something I didn't know played, but it was perfect for the mood. He came back and sat cross-legged in front of me.

"Shirt," I said.

"Right." He pulled off both his shirts and there in front of me was that hard, lean body I felt when we kissed only fifteen minutes before. Feeling bold, I ran my hand across it and felt the heat again. His skin was smooth and practically hairless. 

"You had your shirt off today," I said observing the reddish-brown tinge.

"Yeah, trying to get rid of that pasty Seattle look," he grinned. White teeth showed behind the closely trimmed mustache.

"It looks, ah, good," I said as I traced my hand down his bicep.

"So do you," he fairly growled and took my hand to place it on the bulge in his crotch. "See what you are doing to me?"

I figured it was time to dispense with the niceties. I was as hungry as he was. Removing my hand, I shot him a look that said: do what you will.

He wasn't a novice when it came to signals. Remembering my request for 'hard', he pushed me back and lowered his body onto mine. His head went down to suck my neck and his hands were tugging at my blouse and my bra. It became a mad scramble to get undressed. Clothes could be so frustrating I thought as I wrenched free of my jeans. But soon enough we were both naked. He sat up to gaze at me.

"Lovely," he whispered. "I want to eat you, you look so good."

I blushed a little. It had been a while since anyone gave me a compliment like that. I opened my legs.

"Yeah, exactly," he said and bent down to the task at hand.

As soon as that tongue of his touched me I wanted to scream, it was that good. My clit was alive and throbbing even before he touched me but once his tongue went to work I knew that it wouldn't be long but at least I could go again.

"Hard, remember?" I gasped.

His tongue drove into my snatch a few times before returning to my clit. He sucked hard and it felt like he was pulling the very soul out of my body. His fingers wiggled inside of me and fucked me hard. If this was the warm-up, I was in for a treat. And he didn't let up, not once. He was determined and so was I. Eyes shut, I let myself go and thought nice thoughts while his tongue sucked and probed and fucked me. My grunts became whimpers and whimpers became screams as the orgasm came out of nowhere. 

"Oh fuck," I shouted. "I'm cumming!"

Poor Chris couldn't encourage me with words. Only his tongue, mouth and fingers could and they did the trick. In seconds I was over the edge and headed towards the first orgasm of the night. I moaned and thrashed and said wicked things. When at last he lifted his head and wiped the juices from his face, I was a puddle.

"Sounds like you needed that," he said as he laid his beautiful body next to me.

"Fuck yeah," I moaned. "Jesus."

He laughed at that.

"I hope that's not it for the night. Otherwise I'll have to go back to the bar," he whispered.

"No sir," I said. "Just give me a moment, will ya?"

He lay flat on his back and I turned on my side to gaze at him without the prior cloud of lust in my eyes. My gaze traveled up and down his body and it was better in person than it ever was on the screen. His dick rose from the nest of black hair and I put my hand around it. It was hotter than the rest of him, if that was possible. I squeezed and his eyes shut.

"Mmmm," was all he could manage.

I gave one tug, then another. A drop of pre-cum oozed out of the slit at the top of the purple head.

"You're ready," I observed.

"I have been for some time, especially after that performance."

"You like the sound of a woman in pain?" I joked.

"Always do."

"I think I could go for some more pain," I said lazily.

"Top or bottom?"

"Top? Is that ok?"

"Absolutely. I like a woman who knows what she wants."

I straddled him but didn't let him inside right away. I leaned over and let him play with my breasts. The nipples were flat and aching to be touched. Or sucked.

"Those look good," he said.

"They're all yours."

He wasted no time and got down to it. I leaned over more to ease the strain on his neck and shuddered as that mouth of his clamped around my left nipple. I felt a spasm in my pussy and began to rub my still swollen clit across his dick. He replied by sucking harder but I wasn't ready to let him have his way with me yet. Part of being on top was the ability to dictate. I ran my fingers through his hair and rocked a little as he sucked. 

"Yeah, that's it..."

"I want to be inside you," he practically pleaded.


No Past, No Future Ch. 02



Author's note: Thank you's to the other Chris fans out there that enjoyed the first chapter and sent me words of encouragement. I realize this story targets a very niche audience, but we're dedicated. The trilogy will wrap up with one more chapter. If you have a special Chris fantasy, I'd love to hear it.

*

The two bodyguards stood in front of the door with menacing looks on their faces. I wasn't impressed. I wondered whose idea it was to have them.

"Well?" I asked again. "Are you going to let me in or not?"

"Lookit lady, we said no, ok? Now just run along," said the one on the right. He was big, but not muscular – it was mostly fat. The kind of fat that started at the base of the skull and ran all the way down to the feet. I wondered how he was able to find shoes for those big fat feet.

I sighed and turned, but not without enduring one more indignity.

"Of course..." began the one on the left who had remained quiet up 'til now. "Me and my boys could take you on."

I didn't even turn around to deliver a comeback. It wasn't worth it. Instead I stalked off to the elevator and went back to my room. Once inside I felt the shame redden my face as I sunk down on the bed. What started out as a potentially adventurous weekend was turning into a dud.

I turned the TV on and flipped around the ten or so channels that were provided and thought about things. Maybe if I had spent a little more time thinking I wouldn't be in this situation. Thirty brooding minutes later I finally noticed the light flashing on the phone. I had a message.

"Hi, um, Kat...this is Chris Cornell. Wow, like I saw you in the lobby tonight and I'm sorry I didn't recognize you at first. I wasn't, ah, expecting it. Anyway, I guess you're here to see the show and that's cool. I was, um, wondering if you would like to come up to our suite later for the post show party. Nothing too fancy. Um, so call the room first so I can have you let in, ok? So...hope to see you."

I listened to it twice more and hung up and stared at the phone. Holy shit, he called! Dashing into the bathroom I surveyed myself in the mirror and was satisfied with what I had on and how my hair was arranged. I took a few deep breaths and picked up the phone and dialed the suite number.

After four rings someone picked up and there was lots of noise in the background.

"Hello?" said a male voice.

"Um, may I speak to Chris?" I asked.

"What? You gotta speak up."

"Chris...can I talk to Chris?" I said loudly.

"Yeah, sure...hang on."

The phone was dropped and all I could hear was music and people talking and yelling and even singing. Whoever answered the phone was shouting for Chris over the din. Finally after what seemed like an eternity I heard the phone pick up.

"Hello, this is Chris."

His voice sounded rough from singing and I almost lost my nerve and hung up.

"Hello?" he said again, but not angrily.

"Hi, Chris...it's...it's Kat."

"Kat! Hey, how are ya?" he shouted. "You got my message."

"Yeah. Um, thanks for calling."

"Hey, no problem. You wanna come up?"

I laughed.

"What's so funny?" he asked. It sounded like he had moved somewhere quiet. I could hear some noise but it was muffled.

"Nothing. I'll come up. Tell your boys at the door to let me in this time."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind," I said, laughing again. "Be right there."

We hung up and I went back up to the suite. This time it was different. I faced the goons and told them to let me in. They apologized profusely and stood aside to allow me entrance.

I was immediately struck by the noise and smoke of cigarettes and other things. Everyone was drinking and having a good time by the looks of it. I scanned the place for Chris and finally spotted him making some drinks by the makeshift bar. As I plowed through the crowd, no one seemed to take notice of me. When I reached him I stopped and cleared my throat.

He looked up abruptly and his face broke into a wide smile. I almost melted. He handed me the drink he just made.

"Tequila sunrise...just for you," he said.

I took it and stood there, not knowing what to say.

"Enjoy the show?" he asked, trying to break through.

"Y-yes...it was great," I said lamely.

"This is uncomfortable for you, isn't it?" he asked.

I nodded. "Sorry...I'm not used to this...whatever..."

"That's ok, I know just the thing." He placed his hand on my arm and I felt that incredible heat again. I had forgotten what his touch was like. "Follow me."

He steered me across the suite to a door which led to another suite. That one was empty. We slipped inside and he shut the door and locked it. A quick look around told me it was his sleeping quarters. Suitcases were stacked in the corner and newspapers littered the table. An open guitar case lay on the bed.

We stood there for a moment assessing each other.

"So...what's going on with you?" he asked still standing.

"Oh, I live in Tucson now."

He raised an eyebrow. "Done running, are you?"

I swallowed. "Yes. All done. I moved there a few months ago."

He nodded. "Then that explains why I couldn't get a hold of you."

"You tried to call me?" I asked, incredulous.

"Oh yeah. I told you I would. I still have your card." And, as to make a point, he went over to a table that was littered with papers and found an organizer. He pulled my card out of a pocket and proudly displayed it to me. "See?"

"Yup. Well, I'm flattered."

He made a mock frown. "But I called you and you weren't there."

"I know, I'm sorry. When I moved I changed numbers...it was easier to-"

"No apologies, I understand."

We were still standing. He looked good close up. Previously that night I had seen him briefly in the lobby but he was being whisked away by his entourage. Later I saw him on stage in all his glory as he sang and strutted with the band. Now he was calm and maybe a little tired, but smelling fresh and clean.

"Looking California and feeling Minnesota," I said suddenly.

He burst out laughing. I smirked, sat down on the couch and took a long swallow of my drink. I had been drinking all evening and it was making me do silly things. But there were more things to do and I hoped I had the nerve. At least the desire was there. It had been buried since early last summer when we met in the desert. 

Relationships are never easy to end, but when I went back to Texas after spending that one night with Chris, I realized it was time to move on. And I did. I quit my job and my relationship, sold my condo and moved further west and south to Tucson. Out there I was anonymous and it was refreshing.

Chris joined me on the couch, but not too close. There was a bit of awkwardness between us.

"So, tell me...what happened after I left you," he asked reading my thoughts.

I set the drink down. "Well, that morning after we, um, said good-bye, I actually turned around and headed east to catch up with you."

"You did?"

"Yup, but in my haste I was pulled over by one son-of-a-bitch state trooper. He wrote me up big time. After that I lost my sense of adventure and limped home to Texas."

He stared at me intently with those green eyes. It made me swoon a little. "Well, I'm glad to see you again," he said seriously.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"You're not just saying that."

"No."

"Ok."

He took my chin in his hand and turned my face to look at his. "I didn't forget you and it looks like you didn't forget me."

I turned away, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Of course I didn't forget about you. That's why I drove up to Phoenix to see you guys. You did say you may contact me when you were touring, you didn't figure that my cell phone number would change."

"You thought about that then, didn't you? You came up here because you knew I couldn't reach you."

"Yes."

He let out a long sigh and slumped back on the couch. His long lean body stretched out and I let my gaze travel down his hard stomach to his tight jeans. I was glad he didn't dress like the younger guys did with their loose, baggy jeans. I knew what was under them and I wanted to see it again.

"Um, Chris...did I come at a bad time?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is there someone else here...someone, maybe...you know..."

I couldn't ask it. I couldn't ask him if there was another woman out there.

He shrugged. "Does it matter?"

I was taken aback at that remark. It made me realize, again, how temporary everything was with him.

"I don't want to intrude." I stood up because I knew that there probably was someone else. 

He didn't stop me and that pissed me off a little. "I can find my way out." I glanced at him and he was a million miles away. I had no idea what was on his mind, but I wanted out in a big way. My face burned again as I exited the suite, what I fool I was thinking that I could rekindle a one night stand after all these months. Fool.

* * *

I awoke the next day with a hangover and a mouth full of cotton. Groaning I got up and drank deeply from the expensive bottle of water in the mini bar. As the water gushed down my parched throat the memories of the night before came back. I was embarrassed all over again and wanted to go back to bed but I figured the best thing was to shower, dress and check out quietly. I could be back in Tucson by lunchtime and then take a nice long drive up Mt. Lemmon where I did my thinking.

The shower was long by Arizona standards but I didn't care. I needed to feel human again. The warm water cascaded over my body and I let myself remember that one wonderful night with Chris in the New Mexico desert. Down deep between my legs began to tingle when I pictured us fucking in his borrowed VW bus. I was so looking forward to doing that last night.

Feelings of disappointment swept away the tingling and I shut off the water with a heavy sigh. It seemed like I was always doing or saying the wrong thing with men. I toweled off and threw it angrily in the corner and pulled on my robe. As I stepped out of the bathroom there was a knock on the door. Probably housekeeping I thought as I opened it.

"Room service," said the young Latino guy holding a tray.

"I didn't order..." I said lamely.

"Compliments of Mr. Cornell," he said smiling. I bet he thinks I got lucky last night, I thought bitterly. I almost sent it back, but I was hungry so I motioned him in to set it down on the table. He even refused the tip saying it was all taken care of.

Everything is always taken care of, I thought as I sat down to inspect the food. It was a good spread complete with a red rose in a bud vase. Very touching. 

When I lifted the coffee urn there was a card underneath. I opened it:

"I was an asshole. Let me make it up to you. Be ready at 11."

It wasn't signed but it didn't need to be. Only one person was an asshole last night, and it wasn't the bodyguard. I looked at the hotel clock and it was 10:30 so I downed my breakfast and got dressed. What I was 'ready' for, I didn't know.

At precisely 11am there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find Chris in jeans, a tank top and dark glasses.

"Rough night?" I asked, not letting him in.

"Trying to be incognito," he said softly.

"Ah."

"You ready?" he asked.

"For what?"

"You'll see."

"I have to check out."

"Ok, let's take care of that first."

I left him outside while I grabbed my suitcase. "I have to stow this in my car first."

He nodded and followed me down into the garage. He didn't say anything until I was checked out and we were outside in front of the hotel. Only after we were inside a cab did he speak.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Why?"

"Because I was an asshole last night."

"So you said." I was mad because I couldn't see his eyes just then. "And what are we doing now?"

"We're gonna take a nice ride." He looked out the window at the deep blue sky. "It's a good day for it."

"In a cab?" I asked.

"Oh no, you'll see."

And with that he went to humming softly while looking out the window. Even humming his voice was unmistakably sexy. I shut my eyes for a while listening to him. I still couldn't believe I was sitting next to him in a cab. In Phoenix.

When I opened my eyes we were outside the city near Scottsdale. Large homes with gated yards flashed by. The cab detoured off onto a maze of side streets until we pulled up to a small mansion. Chris paid the cabdriver and we were left standing in the driveway as the warm sun shone overhead. I pulled on my sunglasses.

"Now what?" I asked. "And don't you have to be getting on to the next city?"

"Not today. It's an off day. Some of the guys have people they want to visit in this area."

"And you?"

"I'm spending it with you," he said as he walked up to the front door and rang the bell. Presently it was opened by someone you wouldn't expect to own such a house.

"Bout time," said the tall burly occupant wearing denim shorts and a tank top. Tattoos covered his arms from shoulder to wrist. His hair was long and pulled back in a ponytail.

"Fuck you," Chris said amiably. "This is Kat. Kat, this is Dan a long time buddy of mine from the old days."

By old days, I surmised Seattle and Soundgarden but I didn't say anything. We went inside. The house was cool and tastefully furnished. Again I gawked at Dan and how out of place he was in the house.

"Well, where is she?" Chris asked, rubbing his hands together.

"You dog," laughed Dan. "Here two seconds and you can't wait."

I frowned, wondering who 'she' was. Dan led us through the house to the garage. In the center of the floor was one of the most beautiful Harley Davidson motorcycles I had ever seen. No doubt it was the 'she'.

Chris ran his hand lovingly over the bike's handlebars and seat like he was a caressing the side of a woman. I shivered remembering what his touch felt like.

"Now take care of her, man," Dan said handing Chris the keys. "I gotta get to work. Nice to meet you, Kat."

"Likewise," I said still looking at Chris and the bike.

Dan got in the car that was in the other bay of the garage and left us.

"Fuck, this is heaven," he said as he mounted the bike.

I stood there and watched him. He treated the bike like a sacred object. Finally he looked up. "Well?"

"What?"

"You getting on?"

"We're gonna ride?" I asked, surprised.

"Why do you think I came all the way out here? Come on, climb on."

There was nothing else to do but get on. I had never been on a bike before and I was a little scared. I sat there with my hands hanging limply by my side.

"You're going to need to hold on," he said. "Put your arms around me, I won't bite."

Gingerly I wrapped my arms around him and he started up the bike. It was loud and made me jump a little.

"It's ok," he yelled. "You'll get use to it."

He turned the bike around and soon we were speeding off. I held him more tightly and I think he liked that. And as we cruised through the quiet streets of Scottsdale I began to enjoy the feeling of my arms around his body and my breasts pressed against his back. I didn't think being on a bike could be so arousing.

We rode for over an hour and the houses thinned out as we went northeast up route 87. The sun was getting hot and I was getting thirsty but I hated to stop Chris because he was enjoying himself so much. But at last he pulled off the highway onto a dirt road. The mountains were closer now and in the distance I saw a ranch. It would be good to get off the hot bike.

We dismounted as the dust settled. In front of us was a sprawling ranch house surrounded by large shady trees. It looked deserted.

"Another friend of yours?" I asked as we walked to the front door.

"Yup," he said lifting up the mat and taking the key. "But they've already gone north for the summer." He turned to look at me with that penetrating gaze. "So I guess it's just us."

A shiver went through me despite the heat of the early afternoon. This was it, I thought. This is what it's all about.

Chris led me to the kitchen and we drank some cool water from the tap. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and wash the dust from my face. When I came out, he was sprawled on the deck furniture outside in the shade. I joined him.

"It's nice to have friends," I observed.

"Something tells me you don't," he said pointedly.

"Not really. I guess I've been a loner for so long." I paused. "Except for the occasional bad relationship."

"That's what you were running from when I met you out there in the desert."

"Yup. He was an asshole and I needed to break free for a while."

"And you broke up with him when you got back?"

"Yes," I said quietly. I looked out at the huge yard in front of us. A few puffy clouds floated lazily in the sky. It was dead quiet.

"How long were you together?" he asked.

"About five years."

He nodded and kept his gaze focused on the hills. His hand found mine and stroked it idly. Even though we had been locked together on a bike for over an hour, this gesture felt much more intimate. His thumb was callused from playing the guitar.

"Did you think of me at all?" I asked in shaky voice.

"I did."

"Really?"

He turned to look at me. "Do you think that I spend my time riding around the country picking up women and fucking them?"

I moved my hand away. "You're a fucking rock star. What else would you be doing?"

He sighed. "I am an asshole."

I said nothing. 

"To tell you the truth the last year has been spent recording and getting ready for this tour. We've been locked down in either Seattle or California most of the time. I haven't had much time for fun. And when I do, its solo fun, you understand?"

"I get it," I said.

Never breaking his gaze at me he said: "There wasn't anyone last night. I don't know why I was like that. Sometimes after a show I'm cranky. It takes a lot out of me."

"Ok."

"You aren't buying this bullshit, are you?"

"No, I believe you."

"Ah fuck it," he said and with that he threw himself on top of me and smothered my mouth with his. I was totally unprepared for the onslaught and he took my breath away with a burning kiss. I tried to push him off me so I could get my bearings but he was too strong. Instead he forced his tongue in my mouth and slid his hands under my shirt to find my breasts. When he squeezed I moaned into his mouth and I was his.

At last he pulled away.

"Fuck," he gasped.

"I think we should," I said.

I stood up and began to remove my clothes hastily. There was no need for a striptease; I could clearly see the bulge in his jeans. It looked painful. When I was naked I leaned over him and unzipped his jeans. Immediately his wonderful cock sprang into view. The head was swollen and purple and moist. Before he could react I closed my mouth around it and sucked hard once before releasing him.

"Oh Jesus," he said.

I said nothing and straddled him. I couldn't wait one second longer. The first time was going to be quick for both of us, but the day was young. I put my legs on each side of him but I didn't let him enter me yet.

"Take off your shirt," I suggested. "I want to see you."

When he removed his shirt and I gazed upon that muscled tanned chest I felt a spasm go through my pussy.

"I think I'm too wet already," I whispered.

He responded by pushing his fingers inside me. I gasped with the unexpected pleasure.

"No, it's just right. Let your self go," he growled. "I need to fuck you."

Those words only inflamed me more. I guided him into me and I sunk all the way down so our bodies were joined. His hands went to my breasts and began to flick the nipples which were already hard. I groaned and tossed my head back. He grunted once and thrust deep into me.

"Hard?" he asked and I smiled. 

"Yes, hard. As hard as you can do it. I want to feel this for a while."

He laughed and pushed up hard. I cried out knowing there was no one to hear me except him. He went back to squeezing my breasts and I urged him on. Every ridge of his cock was felt inside my warm walls. It tingled all over and the pressure on my clit was sensational. I began to move my body up and down on his cock, taking over. I wanted to guide this situation and feel it and make it last. I was probably selfish but I needed it so bad. 




No Past, No Future Ch. 02



"Oh fuck me, Chris, pleeeeaaase...fuck me."

"I am, baby. You feel fucking good," he said as he thrust upwards.

I leaned over and offered him my breasts. He took one nipple in his mouth and began to suck hard. I wanted everything to be hard – the fucking and the sucking. I wanted it to be hard so I could wake up again. Everything had been dormant for so long.  

While he sucked my left breast, his hand squeezed the right one. They were so sensitive now and it made my pussy spasm that much more. Sweat began to form on our bodies as I rode him for all it was worth.

As I got closer to release, I leaned back. He grasped my ass cheeks with his strong hands and helped me go up and down. My breasts bounced all over the place but I didn't care. Every sensation felt so good. I had wanted it to be slower with more exploration but it was clear we both hadn't had any in a while so the need was more urgent.

"I'm gonna cum soon," he grunted.

His words inflamed me and almost like a switch going off, my body began to gather itself for one hell of an orgasm. My feet cramped and my stomach clenched but my pussy was the center of activity and the first delicious tendrils of release spread throughout my body.

"Cum," I whispered. "I'm almost there."

He shut his eyes and opened his mouth. "Ohhhhhh...yeah, here it comes, baby." And with that he lifted his body up and all the muscles in his stomach tightened. His arms were taut and I could see a large vein. Sweat covered his brow and his hair was damp. I took in all these details as he began to pump his seed into my snatch.

I would not relent as I rode him to my own release. And fuck it felt good. I screamed and carried on until the last wave rolled over us and I could settle down. I collapsed on top of him and let him slide out of me. He burned like a furnace. I kissed him sweetly and rolled off.

We were silent for a while. The only sounds were our labored breathing. It was the heat of the day now and it was dead still.

"I saw the video," I said at last. My body felt used up but relaxed.

"Video?"

"The one you shot in the desert. When I met you."

"Oh yeah, what did you think?"

I didn't tell him I had only seen it a few days ago when I downloaded it off the internet. I watched it over and over and then went to bed with my fingers between my legs.

"It was great. I couldn't think of that movie at first, and then it came to me."

"Vanishing Point," he said.

"Yeah, I remembered it as a kid. The blind DJ."

"Right."

"You really drove that car?"

"Yes. It was with us when I met you."

I thought back. "Oh right! It was in the parking lot near your bus."

He ran his hand idly down my leg. I trembled.

"I wished you joined us in White Sands," he said at last.

"I wanted to, but it just wasn't right..."

"You were still not sure."

"Yes."

He ran his hand through his spiky hair.

"What about now? Is it right?"

"Yeah," I said softly.

He stood up and I gazed upon his naked body. Chris' cock was softened now but the rest of his body was so hard. 

"Let's take a nap," he said offering me his hand. "I'm fucking tired."

I stood up and followed him through the house to a bedroom. The bed was big and comfortable looking. Chris turned on a ceiling fan above and we lay down in the semi-darkness and pulled a Mexican blanket over us. We lay there facing each other not saying anything. The normally intense gaze he exhibited was softer now and almost tender. It was hard to believe that this rock-star god was lying next to me. I wonder how many people ever saw this softer side of him.

At some point I drifted off to sleep. The afterglow of sex and just the sheer excitement of being with Chris had tired me out.

* * *

I woke up some time later. The sun had slanted way off in the west. Chris was sprawled out on his back snoring softly. I indulged myself by looking at his muscular chest and arms for a while until I couldn't help myself anymore and began to trace my fingers over his hard biceps. The snoring eventually stopped and his eyes flicked open. He turned his head to look at me.

"What's up, baby?" he asked softly.

"Can't keep my hands off you," I admitted with a grin.

He turned over on his side to face me. "You want some more?"

"Yes, but its fucking hot in here. And stuffy."

"You're right about that. I know just the thing."

He climbed out of bed and his cock was semi-hard already. "Meet me outside. Be right there."

I went to the back of the house and stepped outside. It was still hot and my brow was sweaty. Looking around I found an outdoor shower – that was just the thing. I stepped over to it and turned on the water. It was cool, but not freezing. 

"Oh, I see you found it. Good," Chris said as he came out. He was holding a big bar of soap. He draped two towels over the nearby chair and joined me.

As soon as his body was close to mine he pulled me in for a kiss. This time it was slower and soulful. As the water ran over us our tongues entwined and his arms held me tight. Because of his height I stood on tiptoe and he was leaning down but the contact was sweet and on the mark. Down between my legs I could feel my pussy begin throb but I wasn't going to rush it this time. It might be the last.

I pushed my breasts against his chest and his hands began to slide over my ass. He squeezed them and pulled my pelvis to him. His hardness poked into my groin.

"Feel it?" he said breaking the kisses.

"Yes," I breathed.

He broke the embrace to get the soap. I watched as he lathered up his hands.

"Put your hands up there," he said motioning to the shower head. "Hold on and let me take you to the edge."

I did as he asked and had to stretch a bit to reach the nozzle. The water cascaded over me and I had to shut my eyes to keep the water out of them. I was overcome with this vulnerable sensation but I liked it. 

Chris started by soaping up my arms and shoulders. His strong hands worked my muscles and smoothed the soap over my skin. I shivered and felt my nipples go rock hard.

"You like this, don't you?" he asked.

"Yessss."

He began to move his hands to my sides, purposely avoiding my aching breasts. I whimpered but he only laughed. 

"Don't worry, I'll get to them."

I sighed and begged him to continue.

"Mmmm, I like begging," he said laughing again.

He began to soap my stomach and then down to my thighs and finally my legs. My pussy ached as much as my breasts did from not being touched. How I wanted to be touched in those places just then, but I wanted to go along with him so I waited and was silent except for soft moans.

Once he was done with my legs he finally got to my breasts. With extra soap he encircled them with his hands and kneaded them. When at last he got to my nipples my knees buckled slightly.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yes, it just feels so..."

"Good," he finished. "I know."

His callused thumbs went back and forth over my nipples until the soap was gone. The friction was delicious and I could almost feel my juices oozing out of my pussy. He kept it up for a while longer and then broke away. I stood there panting.

"You look like you're dying" he said.

"I am. You're killing me."

"You don't even know how yet," he said cryptically. "Open your legs for me."

I moved my legs apart and opened my eyes for a sec to see him kneel down. Chris moved his hands up and down my legs for a bit before taking his thumbs and pressing against my mound. I gasped and stood still as he first massaged my mound then moved slowly inward to touch my outer lips then finally the goldmine – my clit.

"Oh Chris!" I almost yelled.

"Mmmm, yes?" he said sounding very preoccupied.

I couldn't say anymore. He touched my clit very, very lightly which only succeeded in teasing me. Then his hand flattened out and slid back over my asshole and came forward again. He did that a few more times until I asked him to stop.

"Why?" he asked looking up at me.

"Because...I don't want to cum this way..."

"Don't worry I wasn't going to let you."

"Oh..."

He stood up and grasped my arms and slowly lowered them down to my sides.

"Turn around," he said gruffly. "I want to fuck you from behind."

I did as requested. Using the back of the shower stall, I braced myself for his entry. My legs were spread and ready. I felt him guide his cock into my waiting entrance that was very slick from what he had just done to me. When he was all the way in, he placed his hands on my hips and slowly thrust in and out.

"So nice," he groaned. "So fucking nice, Kat."

He didn't know the half of it.

We got into a rhythm that slowly increased in pace. With each thrust my breasts swayed back and forth. He began to talk again like he did the first night we did it. 

"Oh fuck your pussy feels so good," he said.

"Go deep," I encouraged.

He responded by grabbing my hips and thrusting hard. "Like that?"

"Like that."

"Oh yeah, baby."

He kept that up for a while then eased up a bit, wanting it to last as much as I did. He brought his hands around to grab my swaying tits where he squeezed and used them for leverage. I grunted and urged him on.

"Mmmm, yeah, you want to cum?" he asked. His mouth was close to my ear and it made my neck tingle.

"You don't know," I said.

He laughed and thrust faster now while he pulled hard on my nipples. That was all I needed. The orgasm built quickly and with an intensity that scared me, it ripped through my body. I tilted my head way back and the water pounded my face and went into my mouth.

"Oh Chris...fuck me...make me cum!" I screamed.

And he did. With only a few more thrusts I came and came until I almost blacked out from the intensity. I slumped forward and began to pant from exhaustion. He pulled out and put his arms around me.

"You ok?" he asked and there was concern in his voice.

"Jesus," I said. "That was incredible."

He kissed my neck. "Good."

"What about you?" I asked realizing I had not heard him echo my cries.

"Not yet, but you can take care of that when you're ready. I sort of remember that you sucked cock very expertly."

I didn't say anything and instead shut the water off. Finally I turned around to see him. His face was flushed deep red. It ran down to the top of his chest. I looked down to his cock and it was standing straight out. I couldn't deny him.

"Go sit in that chair," I suggested.

He eased himself down on the chair and I got on my knees and took him inside my mouth.

"It won't take long," he admitted. "Don't linger."

I didn't. I sucked hard, hollowing out my cheeks with each stroke. In no time his hands were clutching my head and making me go faster. I responded to the challenge and moved my head up and down in time with his thrusts.

"Yes...suck me..." he moaned. When he talked like that his voice was incredibly sexy and it turned me on despite the shattering orgasm I had just had. "I want you to drink my cum."

It's hard to talk with your mouth full of cock but I wanted to say I would gladly do that and more. Swirling my tongue around his head once or twice I felt his body suddenly clench and rise.

"Here it comes, baby!" he shouted. "Oh yeah!!!"

I opened my eyes to look up at his face. His eyes were screwed shut from exertion and pleasure. Every muscle was taut now. I grabbed his balls and with that he exploded in my mouth.

There were no more intelligible words after that.

Later, after we recovered and dressed we sat in the kitchen and drank iced water.

"So what's next for you?" I asked.

"On to your home state," he said. Chris was leaning back in the chair watching me.

"Oh." I didn't want to think of Texas.

"What about you?"

"Back to Tucson and work," I said. 

"We're going to be in Europe most of the summer."

"That sounds like fun."

He sighed. "Yup."

"What?"

"Nothing, let's go. We're leaving tonight so I gotta get back and pack up my shit."

I was silent and very depressed on the ride back to Dan's house. After we dropped off the bike, Dan drove us to the hotel. We entered through the garage and suddenly we were alone in front of my car.

"Thank you for a nice day," he said. "Sorry I was an asshole last night."

I waved it off. "It's ok. We made up for it today." My voice hitched a bit and I felt my eyes burn. I willed the tears away.

There was concern on his face.

"No, don't do that, Kat. You're going to make it hard on me."

I wiped a tear away and dug my keys out of my bag. "I gotta get going," I said looking away.

He grabbed my arm and turned me around.

"Never forget," he said.

I was too choked up to tell him so I broke away and got into my car. When I looked in the mirror to back up, he was already gone.



No Past, No Future Ch. 03



The alcohol flowed freely and the guy next to me had about ten hands because they were constantly touching my body despite my meager attempts to keep them away. But I really didn't want to keep them away; I was putting up a little bit of a fight to show I wasn't that easy.

It was a Friday night in late September. The Tucson heat was beginning to subside to a more comfortable temperature. I had made a few friends since moving there and they took me out for my birthday. We were at one of the cowboy slash rock bars that dotted the Speedway. I was drunk enough to let my inhibitions down and getting drunker.

As the live music pounded away in the relatively small bar I found myself in a corner with this guy who I think said his name was Steve, but I wasn't sure. Many beers and a few shots of tequila had done their job making me very horny. It had been a long summer since I last saw Chris Cornell.

Steve was as close to a cowboy as you could get in Tucson. Right down to the tight jeans, big belt buckle and western boots. Thankfully he did not have a cowboy hat; I don't think I could have gone for that.

"So, baby," he purred into my ear. "Can I take you somewhere?" He slid his hands along my ass and pulled my pelvis towards him. I swear he already had a hard on and I hadn't even kissed him.

"You can take me home," I said in a tone that promised more later. What the hell.

He nipped my ear once. "Only if I can come...in."

I laughed at the innuendo and looked around for my friends. They were nowhere to be seen so I figured it wouldn't be rude if I left without saying good-bye and thank you.

"Ok, then let's go," I said pulling him along behind me. If he was a dog, his tongue would be hanging out.

We stumbled out into the parking lot and the cool desert air washed over me. I hadn't realized how hot it was in that bar. It felt good and even revived me a bit. Steve guided me to his truck and we made out for a bit before climbing in. Then we roared out of the lot leaving a trail of dust.

I chatted away about anything and everything while giving him directions to my house. It was located way out of town and eventually I ran out of things to say. Steve didn't mind as his hand kept wandering to my thigh. I let him do it.

"You're not married or anything or you?" he asked as at last we pulled up in front of my house.

"No way, why?"

"Boyfriend?"

"Er, no."

He was silent for a few seconds.

"Well, there's another car in your driveway and I think it is occupied."

I peered out the window and saw a very sleek black Mercedes in the driveway. It did look like someone was in it, but I had no idea who.

"It could be someone at the wrong house," I said.

"Let me find out before you get out," he offered. Steve parked his truck and slid out of the seat. I watched him approach the car and go to the driver's side. The window was open.

"Excuse me?" he asked quietly. "Hello?"

I could only hear one side of the conversation.

"Yeah, um are you at the right house?" Steve asked after the occupant said something to him. "Yes, this is Kat's house...who wants to know?" Pause. "Does she know you?"

I got out of the truck and realized I was drunker than I thought. I stumbled once and fell to the ground.

"Oh shit," Steve said, giving up on the conversation and going over to me. "You ok?"

"Fuck," I mumbled as the ground started to rotate around me. There was only one thing that was going to happen now, I thought and it was indeed my last thought as I passed out.

* * *

It had been a long time since I drank like that and passed out. I thought at my age I was past that, but apparently I wasn't done being immature yet. I woke up around dawn still in my clothes with a queasy stomach and a pounding head. Looking around I saw with relief that I was in my own bed but how I got there, I didn't know. Hazy memories crept into my consciousness but nothing connected. Groaning, I got out of bed and used the bathroom to purge the last of the tequila from my system.

Some minutes later I emerged feeling a little better. I was desperately thirsty so I ventured out of my room to the kitchen for some ice water. My house was quiet in the early dawn and I was thankful for that because any noise that day would only make the headache worse. When I entered the living room, which was connected to a small galley kitchen, I almost let out a shout when I saw a long figure crashed on my couch. My mind quickly went back to the previous night and remembered being picked up at the bar and taken home. But search as I may, I couldn't think of the guy's name or really what he looked like. Not that it would matter, it was dark in the room and he was snoring softly with his back to me.

I crept by him and went into the kitchen to get my water as quietly as I could. When I passed back through the living room again I noticed a large overnight bag on a chair. Did this guy think he was staying the weekend or something? I didn't remember him being from out of town, but again the memories were hazy. I decided to go back to bed and pretend he wasn't there. Maybe when I woke up he'd be gone.

I did wake some hours later and although my stomach was settled, my head still ached, but at least it was a dull ache. The sun was shining brightly outside, as usual. I got up and pulled the shades down and shut the window. No need to pump all the A/C outside. I used the bathroom again and pulled on my robe wondering if my 'guest' had decided to leave. I certainly was in no state for visitors, especially ones I couldn't recall.

When I exited my room I heard the TV going and my heart sank. This was going to weird, I thought. I took a deep breath and entered the living room.

I was totally unprepared for who was sitting there. He looked up at me with those green eyes and broke out into a wide grin. Never had I wanted to see someone so badly but at the wrong moment.

"Well, well, well," Chris Cornell, that god of all rock gods said with a sly grin. "I was wondering if you were going to make an appearance or if I'd have to go in there and scare the shit out of you."

I stood still in the middle of the room, my mouth hanging open.

"Chris! What the hell?"

He was sitting on the couch with a pair of cargo shorts on and nothing else. A notebook was open in his lap and a pen lay in the crease. A cup of coffee was nearby. He looked like he had been living here all along.

He stretched his arms out wide. "Surprise!"

I wasn't sure what to say. More hazy memories came back but I couldn't piece it together. Chris scanned my face and realized I had no idea what had happened. I slumped down into my favorite chair across from the couch.

Chris laughed and my heart soared at seeing him again despite the circumstances.

"I guess you don't remember last night," he said, still smiling.

"Did I...did I do anything?"

"Just passed out in your driveway. Are you ok?"

I nodded. "Just a headache."

"Been there a number of times, believe me." He paused to take a sip of coffee. I was amazed at how he had made himself at home. Maybe it was from being on the road for the last half year. "Anyways, some guy took you home and found me parked in your driveway."

"Oh shit," I said, embarrassed.

He waved it away. "No worries. He was quizzing me about who I was and even though I told him, he didn't know who I was." He seemed unaffected by the fact that people didn't know him. "Then you fell and we both went to help you. By then you were out of it. We helped you inside and into bed. I told him I was your cousin," he added with a sheepish grin.

"Oh..." My face burned.

"Are you and Mr. Cowboy..." he started.

"No, no," I said. "Just some guy I met." And then suddenly tears sprang to my eyes and a great feeling of sadness and loneliness welled up inside me.

"Kat, what's wrong?" Chris asked in a voice filled with concern.

I shook my head but I was sobbing now.

"Oh shit," he said getting up and going over to me. "Did I mess something up by coming here?"

"No...it's just that...I really missed you..."

He pulled me out of my chair and hugged me tight. "I missed you too," he whispered into my ear. He might as well have said 'I love you' because it sounded just as good.

I held onto Chris like I never wanted to let him go again. We stayed that way for a while, just holding on to each other. At last my tears stopped and I sniffed.

"Come on, go sit down," he said gently.

I sat down on the couch.

"You want some coffee?" he asked.

"Yes please," I said with another sniff. I was beginning to feel foolish letting out those feelings but I was tired and hung-over and the emotions couldn't stay in check. "A little cream and that's it."

I watched him fix my coffee in the kitchen and felt an overwhelming urge to hug him again. Instead I turned my gaze to the TV. CNN was on.

"Here you go," he said handing me the coffee and sitting next to me.

I thanked him and took a few sips. It tasted good.

"So...you're probably wondering about a few things," he said at last.

"Sort of. I guess I can't believe you came down here. And how did you find me?"

"You are listed, so it's easy," he shrugged.

"True," I admitted. "So you came all the way down here from Seattle?"

"Oh no, from California."

I vaguely remembered a car with California plates.

"You drove?"

"Yeah, I don't like to fly," he said grimacing.

"How the hell do you tour?" I asked.

He smiled. "Sedatives."

"So you drove down from California, just to see me?"

"Of course!" he said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"You could have called," I pointed out.

He shrugged. "I guess I love surprises."

"I didn't think I was going to see or hear from you again," I admitted. "So why did you come?"

He took a sip of his coffee. "You know, I really need some more of this," he said, gesturing to his coffee. "It got cold."

The subject was effectively dropped. When he returned I excused myself to take a shower.

By the time I felt normal again it was early afternoon and I was starving. I suggested that we go out and eat and he eagerly agreed. He threw on a tank top and I was a little disappointed that I couldn't gaze upon that smooth hard chest of his. He had a tan and looked amazing. I half-smiled at the nasty thoughts going through my head just then.

Chris insisted on driving the black Mercedes around town. I sat next to him and directed him to a little cantina that served great Mexican food. We had a late lunch/early dinner and he talked about the tour and Europe. I had been following it over the summer but it was hard to get any really good info. The fan sites were filled with a bunch of drooling girls. I was of half a mind to post that I had actually fucked Chris while they could only dream about it, but I exercised self-control. At least they got some pictures of him on there.

The summer was hard at first. I really did miss him. When we had last seen each other we had had blistering sex and then it was over and he was gone. Not a word from him since April. By August I had given up on him altogether and begun trying to get out more often.

After we were done eating I suggested we take a ride up Mt. Lemmon. He had never really seen the city before and in the heat of the day, being at 9,000 feet would be refreshing. I made him stop by my house on the way so I could get some water and a blanket and we were off.

The drive up the mountain is leisurely and you can watch the scenery change from tall cactus to towering pines and cedars. The air gets cooler and the sky bluer. It was my favorite place to escape. Chris drove expertly up the road and he told me that his place in California was in the hills way north of LA. He liked being away from it all.

When we were close to the top, I showed him to a cut-off and we bumped along a dirt road. At the end was a meadow that afforded a wide view of the valley below. He was in awe and I smiled. It was a place to relax and I never saw anyone go there. We exited the car and stretched out on the Mexican blanket that I spread out on the coarse grass.

"Oh man, this is nice," he said taking it all in.

"I like to come here and think," I said.

He looked at me, eyes squinting from the sunlight. "About what?"

I shrugged. "Whatever."

"Do you think about me?" he asked. So much like a guy, I thought.

I smiled enigmatically. "Perhaps."

He turned away and stared off into the distance.

"I did think about you on tour," he said at last. "But you know, it was hectic and I wasn't sure if I should look up your number."

"I thought about you too, but after a while I figured what we did last time was...well the last time," I said lamely.

"I didn't want to get involved back then, I guess. I wouldn't be fair to you because I was gone for a while."

He took his shirt off and laid back and shut his eyes. There was nothing more to be said at that point. I looked at his body hungrily and decided to let my intentions be known. I rested my hand on his hard, flat stomach. I felt the heat.

As I glided my hand back and forth I took in the hard biceps, the well formed pecs and the strong hands. His lips parted and a small sigh escaped his mouth. This time it was going to be me who would be in command. I wanted nothing than to give him pleasure. My own body was begging for it, but he had come to me and I wanted to show him how grateful I was.

"Let me give a nice massage," I said, my voice betraying my desire.

"I won't deny you," he whispered, eyes still shut.

I straddled him so his pelvis was between my legs. I began to press my hands into his chest and down along his shoulders and biceps. A few years ago I learned the basics of massage and like to practice them on willing victims. I pressed hard into his muscles and he groaned a few times. Back and forth I went over his chest and then down to his stomach. Chris lay there absolutely still as I worked my magic. I began to feel warm so I removed my shirt. The spot we were in was pretty secluded so I wasn't worried. 

"Feel good?" I asked.

"Fuck yes," he sighed. "All the driving yesterday had me knotted up."

"Well, this should take care of it," I said. "Now roll over so I can get your back and neck."

I moved away while he rolled over. He got a glimpse of my bra clad chest and raised an eyebrow before settling his head back down. I straddled him again trying to ignore the wetness forming between my legs. This time I really applied pressure along the neck and shoulders. I felt the knots there.

"Oh Kat, that feels so fucking good," he groaned.

I said nothing and continued with my ministrations. Digging in with my palms, I worked the muscles from the lower back all the way up to his neck and shoulders. He grunted each time I dug in so I knew he was enjoying it.

This went on for a while until I tired. I still wasn't over last night. I stood up and took a long drink of water and told Chris to roll back over. When he did, the bulge in his pants was unmistakable.

He opened his green eyes and I died a small lovely death at the expression on his face. He was horny as I was.

I said nothing and unbuttoned his shorts and slid them down his legs. He had no underwear on. That fact turned me on even more. His cock sprang up out of the dark pubic hair and I eyed it hungrily. I grasped it in my hand and gave it a few tugs. Chris let out a long moan.

"It's been a while, baby," he breathed.

I grasped his cock harder. "How long?"

"Too long."

"Since April?" I asked stupidly. I had no right.

"Uhhhh...yes..."

I let go. "Really?"

"Yes, really," he said roughly. "Don't stop."

Impressed I pushed his legs open and knelt over his cock and took just the head into my mouth. I sucked it lightly and his body clenched up. 

"Oh, fuck!" he moaned.

I sucked harder, my hand cupping his full balls. Chris' hands found my hair and drowned in it. I squeezed his balls and began to lick them. He groaned louder. The sounds he made only inflamed me more. My pussy was throbbing and aching for release but I had to wait – this was for him. 

I went back to sucking his dick. I moved my teeth delicately along the ridge of his head before flattening my tongue against his shaft. This went on for a while until he practically begged for release. Smiling, I got down to business and began to suck greedily at his cock. Harder and harder I went while he thrashed and moaned and screwed up his face. When his stomach rose I knew it was time and prepared myself for the load which filled my mouth.

When it was over he lay there breathing heavy, his eyes shut. I rinsed my mouth out with the water and lay next to him.

"Good, huh?" I asked with a smile.

"Fuck..."

I laughed.

He rolled over to face me. It occurred to me then that we hadn't kissed yet. I wrapped my hand around his head and pulled him in for a long kiss. Chris opened his mouth and I eagerly stuck my tongue inside. He dueled with me for a while before we settled into some good, old-fashioned necking. I felt like I was back in high school.

When we pulled away I lay there staring at him. I plucked at his slightly curly hair and fingered the earring on his left ear and traced my fingers along the sparse growth along his upper lip.

"You like touching, don't you," he said lazily.

"Yes, I missed touching you," I admitted.

He took my hand and kissed the palm.

"All I could do is to listen to your voice," I said. I had downloaded both Audioslave CDs and listed to him over and over again on my MP3 player. Sometimes my fingers were between my legs. "But it's better in person."

He smiled and we kissed some more.

"Happy birthday by the way," he said when we took a breather.

"How did you know?"

"Your cowboy friend told me."

I raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "What else did he tell you?"

Chris laughed and help up his hands. "Nothing, ok?"

"Alright," I sighed.

"You're almost as old as me," he said.

"Almost," I agreed with a smile.

"Ok," he said at last. "I've been denying you long enough. Lay back. Consider this your belated birthday present."

I did as he asked. I was still clad in bra and shorts. When I lay flat I looked up at the sky. Some puffy clouds rolled across the blue sky. I thought of the song "I am the Highway". I asked him to sing it for me and he did as he rubbed his hands over my stomach and breasts.

After a few verses he stopped and lifted my bra up and over my nipples. I told him to unhook it, but he shook his head. "I like how your nipples stick out," he said and went back to singing. 

"I am not your carpet ride," he growled as he flicked his thumbs across my nipples. I shuddered. "I am the sky."

He continued to sing softly and I noticed his voice cracked once or twice. Eventually he stopped and lowered his head to take my left nipple in his mouth. He slid his moist tongue across the hard nub of flesh there. It swirled around and around until I thought I would cum right there and then.

He sensed that and moved to the other nipple and repeated the whole process. Soon I was quivering almost uncontrollably from his gentle licking and sucking. I focused my gaze back up at the sky and it swallowed me whole. 

"You like this, don't you?" he asked.

"Y-yessss," I hissed. My shorts had to be soaked by now.

He sat back up and grabbed the bottle of water and took a long swallow.

"Want some?" he asked.

I nodded but instead of handing me the bottle he poured the ice water across my overly sensitive breasts. I gasped as my nipples hardened to diamond points. "Ohhhhhh," I moaned. "Please...please..." I pleaded.

"Please what?" he said looking down on me. Those eyes bored into me.

"Fuck me, please." I couldn't take it anymore, I needed it badly.

"Oh I will, but you'll have to indulge me," he said.




No Past, No Future Ch. 03



"Anything. Anything at all."

He cocked an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yes, just...oh god, fuck me..." I moaned like an idiot.

Chris reached down and undid my shorts and slid them and my panties down and off my legs.

"Ok, now I'm gonna fuck you, but you have to lie on the hood of my car."

I lifted my head in question but he shook his head. "No questions," he said.

Suddenly he was in control and I liked this new twist. He helped me up and we went over to the car. I slid my ass up on the hood and lay back as he asked. It was still warm but it felt nice.

"Spread your arms wide and don't move them," he said with a voice full of lust.

Was I becoming Chris Cornell's love slave, I wondered? I guess there were worse things.

I stretched my arms out wide and waited in anticipation. He was still naked and his cock was rising. I was expecting it to impale me but instead he spread my legs wide so my center was fully exposed to him. It made me quiver. He bent over me and cupped both breasts in his hands and mashed them together. I could see that my nipples were still hard. He lowered his mouth and began to lick the crevice between them. Up and down went his tongue. My legs started to close.

"Keep them open," he commanded before going back to licking.

Hearing that voice and the way it was talking to me thrilled me. At last he released my aching breasts and turned his attention to my cunt. The slight breeze blew and ruffled the small patch of pubic hair that coated my mound and gave me shivers. Chris used his thumbs and parted my lips before bringing his mouth down to lap at the juices that were spilling out.

"Ugh," was all I could manage. I remembered the last time he ate me well over a year ago in the New Mexico desert. He was even better this time.

Chris' tongue plunged inside my dripping hole and lapped up all the honey that had collected there. Slowly fucking me with his tongue, I began to arch my back. He kept that up for an eternity before making his way to my clit. Just the merest touch gave me a jolt.

"Oh fuck, Chris!" I yelled.

"Keep those arms outstretched," he reminded as he stopped for a second. "And tell me when you're ready to cum, ok baby?"

"Yes...oh please...don't stop," I gasped.

He went back to sucking and licking my clit. I tried to hold on as long as I could because I never wanted it to end. Ever. 

Chris' hands held my thighs firmly as I quivered all over. His expert licking was driving me crazy. Every muscle was taut and stretched as I lifted my mound upward and upward towards his hungry mouth. And he did not relent one bit but he was intent on bringing me right to the edge and letting me hang. Each time I could feel it mounting, he sensed it and pulled back. He did that over and over until I begged him to let me cum.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Yes...oh yes..." I moaned.

He nipped at my clit and I cried out. "I'm going to cum!"

Suddenly he pulled his face away from my snatch and hauled me across the hood of the car until my ass was almost hanging off. Before I knew what had hit me, he plunged his cock deep into my cunt. That was all I needed as the orgasm that had been waiting for so long erupted. Chris plunged into me hard and I thought he would go right through my cervix.

"Yeah, baby," he cried. "I feel you...cum!"

I lifted myself up as the orgasm went on and on. Chris savagely fucked me and as I watched every muscle in his neck bulge he came in a long shuddering gasp.

It was awesome.

I shut my eyes during the ride down the mountain because Chris had wiped me out. Coupled with my hangover, I definitely needed the rest. You never knew what would happen next with him.

Luckily Chris felt the same way. After dinner out, we crashed at my place. He admitted he was pretty tired after the long summer of touring and being sedated for flights. We parked it on my bed with a bottle of good Napa wine. Ironically 'Vanishing Point' was on a cable channel. We watched that with the sound low. I was wearing a nightshirt and panties and he sported a pair of shorts.

Everything seemed so relaxed and so right, it was scary. For someone who had all that money and fame he was totally at ease in my modest house. He never put on the airs of someone that was well traveled and living large. I appreciated it more than he knew.

I was feeling sleepy when he started to caress my thigh with his callused hands.

"So how long ago was it for you?" he asked with a hint of mischief in his voice.

"Since I last came?"

"Yeah."

I pretended to think hard. "Oh, last week."

He looked at me in surprise. "Just last week? You pick up another one of those cowboys again?"

I laughed, but it hurt just a little. "Actually it was a solo affair."

"Ahhhh." He slid his hand to my inner thigh and I shivered. "So...you have some toys that you use?"

"Yes, I have toys," I admitted. "Us women aren't ashamed."

"I never said you were. So what do you use?"

He was intrigued and I found it amusing. "I have some vibrators, different sizes."

"Show me."

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yeah, go ahead."

I shrugged and opened the drawer in my nightstand and got the largest one. I held up for his inspection.

"Whoa," he said, clearly taken aback. "I can't compete with that!"

I laughed. "I have other devices. Like my clit stimulator. Man, that one is good." I couldn't believe I was talking about these devices with him, it was so odd.

"Oh those are good, let me see," he said.

I showed him the butterfly vibe. He took it and rubbed his thumb over the little nubs. "I bet you like this one," he said, his voice getting sexy.

"I do," I said, blushing a bit.

"Turn it on."

I turned it on and it started to hum. He placed it on my mound and immediately my pussy started to tingle. Even though we had mind-blowing sex earlier in the day, he had awoken my sexual side and it wasn't going quietly. I admitted to myself that I wanted more. 

"You like that, don't you?" he asked in a low voice.

"Mmmm," was all I could say.

"So let me ask you this," he started. "What sex position is the hardest for you to cum in?"

"Probably missionary style," I said, my eyes closing. Chris was pressing the clit vibrator into my panty-clad mound.

"Ok, we'll do it that way," he said standing up.

My eyes snapped open. "What?"

"We'll fuck that way and you can use your vibe to get off. It will be wonderful."

I looked at him, aghast. "Nothing inhibits you, does it?"

His expression turned serious. "Let me tell you something, babe, you can't be inhibited if you have to perform in front of thousands every night, so you know what I'm sayin'?"

He was right. I said nothing and watched him slide his shorts off that lean hard body. Unbelievably, his cock was stiff.

"I just love seeing a woman cum hard," he said. "And you're going to again."

I believed him. He reached up and slid my panties off and parted my legs. I was already wet and ready for him. He placed the vibrator directly on my clit and told me to hold it there.

"You cum better if something is inside you, right?"

I nodded.

"Well, tonight's your lucky night," he said laughing. "So just relax and I'll do the work. I know you had a rough night last night." He winked at me. Every time he looked at me that way, I melted.

He didn't plunge in right away. Instead he massaged my pussy lips a while. I was holding the vibrator against my already over-sensitive clit. Delicious sensations permeated my body and my nipples began to harden underneath my shirt. I couldn't believe we were doing it again – we were like teenagers.

"You ready for me baby?" he asked softly.

"Yes..." I breathed.

Slowly and deliberately he pushed his cock against my opening. It slid in easily because I was so wet.

"Now wrap those luscious legs around me," he said.

I did as asked and he pushed deep inside. I gasped. He liked what he heard and leaned over me a bit and began to pump. I moved the vibrator around my clit and moaned. It was like I hadn't had sex in months, the way I was acting.

Chris began a nice slow rhythm. It was like we knew each other so well even though it was only the third time we had been together and many months separated those rendezvous as well.

"I can feel the vibrations," he grunted. "They feel good, baby."

"Ughhhh," was all that I could get out. He had reduced me to animal sounds.

He increased his strokes and I watched the muscles bulge on his arms and on his neck. A flush crept up his neck to his face. I turned up the speed of the vibrator.

"Oh, that's it, baby. I want you to cum before me. I want to feel you cum around my cock."

His words inflamed me. I could feel my own face burning from the contact. Absently I rubbed my nipples through my thin shirt.

"Yeah, look at you..."

I smiled weakly. "Harder please," I gasped. "I'm almost there."

"Absolutely."

He increased the pressure of his strokes. I masturbated my clit with the vibrator and closed my eyes so I could concentrate on the feelings that were assaulting my pussy. If I died just then I would die happy.

Then I felt it – that wave that builds and once it builds there is no stopping it. My arms and legs and nipples tingled. The top of my head tingled too.

"Oh, Chris," I moaned. "I'm gonna cum..."

"Good, good," he purred. "Cum for me. I want to see you squirm and moan."

His voice turned me on to no end. At last I felt the orgasm wash over me. I let out a long low moan and thrashed under him. My back arched hard and my head came off the pillow. I locked the vibe against my clit until it hurt.

"Oh fuck, yeah...that's it...ohhhhhh." He moaned just as loud and stopped pounding away so he could let loose his load. His face was totally red now and when he was done, he slumped over me and breathed heavy. I shut the vibe off and closed my eyes until our breathing calmed down and I matched it with his.

That was it for me. I pulled the sheet up and over me and scrunched up my pillow. After a few minutes he joined me and we shut off the light and fell into oblivion.

* * *

Waking up next to someone as sexy as Chris was something not to be taken lightly. In the early morning light I lay awake and watched him sleep. He was sprawled on his back and I could tell he was as tired out from all the fucking as I was. But I savored the moment a while longer. He looked so perfect and content next to me in bed and I wondered if I would ever get to wake up beside him again. He was pretty vague about how long he was going to stay. Tomorrow was Monday and it would be back to work for me.

My mind began to work through some scenarios until I got impatient with myself. Seeing that sleep was going to be fleeting, I sighed and slipped out of bed and into the living room to watch TV.

An hour later, Chris came with sleep still in his eyes. 

"Up already?" he asked yawning. "Come back to bed."

"Ok, but no funny stuff," I said. "I'm actually sore down there."

He laughed and promised. "I don't think I have anything left," he admitted.

We got back to bed and lay there listening to the air conditioning breath through the overhead vents for the first time that day.

"So I guess we should talk," he said at last.

My stomach flip flopped a bit when he said it but he was right. No need to avoid it any longer.

"Ok, so what's on your mind?" I ventured.

"You, Kat. For months it's been you."

I was a bit surprised at that remark. I knew we were clicking but I didn't realize I had a place in his day to day thoughts, especially after how we parted in Phoenix.

"I want you in my life," he went on. "I don't want to see you every six months or so. It's too long." He took my hand and squeezed it and rolled over on his side to look at me. Never had I seen him so serious. "You're not my groupie girl."

"Chris, what is it that you see in me? I'm just a girl from Texas. I'm not part of your circle. You must meet attractive women every night."

He smiled a little at that. "Kat, I do see women every night on the road, but all they want to say is that they fucked a rock star. They don't care about me. They want a fuck and they want to talk about it, that's it. But with you, it's never been that way. Haven't you noticed that I've pursued you? You weren't hanging around the stage door."

He was partially right. I did go to Phoenix to see him, but he really took the lead in the end.

"So how am I going to be in your life more?" I asked. "You're way up there in Seattle."

He shook his head. "Seattle is the past. We never really talked about it but you know I was married."

"Yes, I knew."

"Well that was in Seattle. I have a house in Ojai now and I want you to come and share it with me." His gaze bore into my soul then and it almost unnerved me.

"You...you want me to just...move up there?" I asked incredulously. Many thoughts began to run through my head. I never thought...

"Yes. You're not tied to Tucson, are you?"

"Well no, but..."

"Then say yes."

We faced each other in the dim light of the bedroom. My heart was beating fast and my mouth was dry. I couldn't believe what he was asking of me.

"Is that why you came down here?" I asked in a small voice.

"Yes."

The word hung there for a moment. I didn't know what to say, it was so unexpected. At last I found my voice. "Chris, I'm flattered, but I'm not sure. It's so sudden and I don't know if I would fit in."

He shook his head. "You would fit in, believe me. The guys are great, you'd like them. Plus, when we're not recording, it's pretty mellow. It would be just you and me and my big old bed."

"I need to think about it," I said. There was no way I was going to make a quick decision. He was asking me to give up everything I had here. But what exactly was it?

I looked at him and took a deep breath. "I think you should go home today."

His face fell but he nodded. It was hard to say, but it was the right thing.

* * *

The sun had long sunk into the sea but the visions of it still remained. I pulled my sweater tight around my body and shivered a bit. It was cool along the coast but then again, it was November. Everyone had gone back inside after watching me experience my first California sunset over the ocean.

It had been a long time since I had seen the ocean and the first time I had seen the Pacific. I was awed by the rugged coastline, the big beaches and the pounding surf. Somewhere on the other side of all that water was a different world.

I heard the sliding door open and a voice spoke softly. "Did you enjoy that?" It was Tom, the guitarist in the band. I instantly liked him because he was outgoing and friendly. Chris was right, I did like these guys and I think they liked me.

"Yeah, I did. Thank you for everything," I said as Tom sat next to me. Inside the music thumped and dozens of people milled about. It was my 'introduction party'.

"Our pleasure. It's good to see Chris happy again," Tom said. "He was miserable on the tour."

"He was?" I asked, surprised.

"Oh yeah. I kept telling him to call you, but he was afraid to in case you rejected him. So I stopped telling him otherwise he'd be even more miserable."

"Wow, I didn't know..."

"Oh, he'd never tell you. In fact don't mention it him. He'll kill me," Tom said laughing.

"I won't." But I thought about it and it made the decision I made easier to live with.

Chris went home that Sunday morning after asking me to move up to California with his tail between his legs. I didn't say 'no', but I didn't say 'yes' and he was worried. He called me almost everyday but I wouldn't give him an answer. Instead I asked a million questions which he answered sincerely. Finally, on Halloween I said yes and he yelled into the phone. The next evening he was at my house and we fucked like crazy before he helped me pack up and begin to uproot myself once again.

I loved Ojai and the surrounding area. Chris made it clear that I didn't have to work, but if I did, he would support me. I hadn't found anything I wanted to do yet, but I would and I would feel good about it. Instead I took the time to get to know the area and the band and other friends of Chris.

"Well, welcome to California," Tom said, breaking my reverie. "I'm glad he doesn't go to Seattle much, too rainy!"

We laughed and he excused himself to go back inside. After a minute the door opened again and this time it was Chris. He pressed lips to the back of my neck.

"It's a long ride back to Ojai and I'm a little drunk, do you mind staying here tonight?" he asked.

"Not at all."

He slid his arms around my waist and nibbled my neck some more.

"Ever do it on the beach?" he asked. 



No Past, No Future



"Then do it."

I guided him in and lifted his pelvis. He filled me completely.

"Oh fuck, that's good, Kat," he moaned. "You're so fucking wet."

"Thanks to you," I laughed.

He turned his attention to my other tit as to not let it get lonely. I rode him slowly wanting to make it last forever. I still couldn't believe my luck. Who would have thought that all the way out here in the middle of nowhere I would be fucking the lead singer of a popular band? 

In the back of my mind I knew he knew I was running and that was the perfect setup. I wasn't going to go blabbing about this because I had just as much to hide as he did. Out here in the desert we were perfect – no past and no future. Just the two us: here and now with me on top and his cock deep inside me.

"Harder," I said through gritted teeth. "Make me forget."

A deep thrust home made me forget alright. Damn, did it ever.

"Don't forget about this," he said, gasping with pleasure. "I know I won't forget the feel of your sweet pussy."

I helped him along by riding him for all he was worth. I watched his biceps flex as he used them to lift me off him then slam me back down. His eyes flickered open and closed, but whenever they were open, they bore through me. He had such an intense stare it almost unnerved me. 

"I'm not going to forget those eyes," I muttered.

He grunted, lost now in the pleasure I was giving him. Men ceased to be funny or witty or assholes once they were involved in the rhythm of humping and it didn't matter if you were famous or not, it was all the same. Chris was pumping my pussy for all it was worth and his dick filled me and pushed against my cervix to the point where I was almost ready to let go once more.

"Almost," I whispered.

"Fuck, not yet...wait..."

I answered by squeezing my vagina muscles around him.

"Oh no...fuck..." He opened his eyes. "Protected?"

"Yes, go for it," I said barely holding on to the orgasm that was ready to take me.

That was all he needed, with the last thrusts he cried out and at last I heard that animal sound that was in so many of his songs. It was all I needed as I met his orgasm with my own and we tumbled down the hill together.

"Jesus," I said again as I rolled off him.

He laughed and leaned over and gave me a long, soulful kiss. It felt good and made me want more. When he rolled away his dick was still semi-hard.

"Are you a one shot guy?" I asked.

He laughed again. "Sometimes, but I think tonight...maybe not."

At that moment I had visions of taking him in my mouth, but in time. For now we both needed to recover. When I used to smoke, this would be the time to light up, but I didn't anymore and I missed it.

Chris opened the van side door a bit and I was amazed at how cool it had gotten outside. In the distance we heard a coyote yapping.

"So is this your ultimate rock star fantasy?" he asked, grinning.

"Well, I can't say that I've thought about it," I admitted. "Especially not in a van in the middle of nowhere."

"I love it out here," he said. "This isn't the first time I've shot in the desert. Beats the hell out of Seattle sometimes."

"Never been there."

"Well if you like rain and gloom, it's the place for you," he chuckled.

"I prefer the wide open spaces out here. And the heat."

"I can relate to that space thing. I wish I had my motorcycle out here. I could go on forever."

I thought about all the driving over the last two days. I wondered when I'd stop driving. Would I get to California and run out of road?

He turned to look at me. "Why are you running, Kat?"

"Don't ask me that. Please."

"I'm sorry, it's just that you look so...I don't know..."

"Desperate?"

"No, not that...more like you're haunted by something."

"It could be that you're right," I said, pulling on my clothes. 

"Where you going?"

"I gotta pee somewhere. Outside will do," I said briskly.

He didn't reply as I climbed over him and went out the door. I went to the edge of the lot and behind a tree and relieved myself. If the rest of the band and the video crew were back on their buses, I wouldn't know. It was dead quiet. I spent a few minutes composing myself and walked back to the bus. Chris was leaning against the outside of the van. His pants were on, but no shirt.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"Yeah. Got anything to drink in there?" I asked, looking at the van.

"I do," he said. "Soda ok?"

"Perfect."

He reached in and got a soda, cracked it open, took a swallow and handed it to me. The cool liquid felt good going down my dry throat. I leaned on the van next to him and we looked at the millions of stars. I could hear music playing softly from the van. In another time or place this would have been almost romantic.

After a while of not talking, he reached over and began to stroke my hair. I stood still and let him do it. Soon he got tired of that and stood in front of me to nuzzle my neck. I responded by running my hands all over his smooth chest and arms. The heat was still there, but not as intense. 

"You're turning me on again," he whispered.

"I'm sore."

"Is your mouth?"

"No."

"So..."

"Right here?"

"You have a point."

We both climbed in the van and shut the door. He knelt before me and I unzipped his jeans. His cock sprung out hard and ready. I wrapped my hand around it and gave a few tugs. He moaned and I knew he wanted it done the right way.

I never minded blowing guys. I know some of my friends didn't like it, but it wasn't so bad. I knew Chris really wanted it to complete the night and I complied. When my mouth took him in (as much as I could fit), he started talking.

"Oh fuck yeah, baby, suck me," he breathed.

I sucked his head hard, tasting my leftover cum.

"Yes, that's it," he said, holding my head between his hands. 

I flattened my tongue along the underside of his cock.

"Fuck, that's good....you're good..."

I swirled my tongue along the top of his head.

"Oh my god, yeah..."

His head was back and the neck muscles were taut. I cupped his balls and squeezed.

"Ahhhh!"

I left his cock for a moment and ran my tongue along his balls. He moaned and cried out before I went back to his cock again. This time I went faster and moved my head up and down on his shaft.

"Yeah, that's good...so fucking good. I want to fuck your mouth."

And he did. He began to thrust into my mouth hard. I grasped his firm ass in my hands mainly for leverage and partially to keep my balance. Even though it wasn't the most comfortable for me, I was returning him the favor of what he did to my pussy earlier.

"Yes...yes...yes!!!" he cried.

Oh man, I thought, he's quick. I let him dictate the pace but it was going to be soon. I squeezed his balls which were remarkably full.

"Here it comes, baby," he groaned.

And cum he did. He literally exploded in my mouth with one long sigh of relief. I swallowed it all and sucked every last drop until he collapsed on top of me. I lowered him down before stepping outside to rinse my mouth out. I don't mind swallowing; it's the aftertaste I can't stand.

When I returned his eyes were closed. We were done for the night. I pulled the blanket over us and fell asleep next to him.

As soon as it was light, I woke up. The heat would build and soon it would be unbearable in the van. Chris was still asleep and watching him I thought he looked almost angelic. 

I had to get going. I didn't want everyone to see me leaving the scene of the crime. But as soon as I reached for my clothes he woke up.

"Leaving?" he asked, his voice still sleepy.

"Yeah, I better..."

Things got awkward for me. 

"Will you come with us?" he asked.

"Where?"

"To White Sands."

"But that's east. I'm going west."

"I thought that doesn't matter to you."

"Chris...I...I don't want to be your groupie girl, you know?"

He frowned and the serious look came back to his face. "You're not. You are an independent woman. I'm just asking you to keep me company until this is over and we go back to our lives. I know we can't have plans."

He was right and I was tempted. Sorely tempted. My body ached with the thought of sharing his bed for a few more nights.

"It's a great offer, but I should move on. Last night, well, it was incredible and I'm not going to forget it."

He nodded. "Ok, I understand. Let me drive you over to your car."

I thanked him and watched as he got dressed and started the van up. The sun was bright now and he donned some shades.

"Where did you get this van?" I asked, making small talk.

"It's on loan to me."

Everything was temporary out here.

He brought me back to my car and we sat there for a moment figuring out what to say.

"Do you think I could contact you when we start the tour? I'm sure we'll be playing somewhere near wherever you are."

"Sure, that would be ok," I said. I gave him my card with my cellphone number. "Call me at that number, it's the best way."

He took it and put it into his wallet. "Ok. Well."

It was time to bolt. I leaned over and kissed him hard on the mouth but before I could pull away he grabbed my arm.

"Never forget, ok?"

"No, I won't. And thank you," I said sliding out of the van. 

Minutes later I was pointed west with the sun at my back and a heaviness in my heart. I drove fast out of town and didn't stop until I got to the next one. After a much needed meal and a shower at the truck stop my head was clear.

When I got back into my car, I turned it east and drove like the wind.