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Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 01

By: madam_noe



I turned twenty eight and no one noticed. When I awoke it was six a.m. Greenwich Mean Time, and no one had called. It was midnight back home and so I didn't expect any calls until late in my evening. But no calls came from my few friends in London that knew it was my birthday. I was lonely, and low on prospects. 

My two closest friends and I were going out that night but neither of them knew it was my birthday. The closer I felt to people the further I kept them. 

Helen Blodgett was my local editor who reviewed my work for the publishing house of Lochact & Miller. They worked with Pendant back home and by agreement my books were released in New York first, London second. The London press got sneak peeks first and that had driven my readership to a higher percentage in England. There were just more warm bodies in America so technically my sales were higher in my homeland.

Anyways, Helen was 47, five feet six inches tall, very slim, had a halo of red curls, smoked like a dragon, and wore needle thin heels every time I saw her. She dated men younger than me and went through them like Kleenex. The only constant male in her life was Danny, our third.

Daniel McMillen was thirty four, five feet ten inches tall, slim, wore glasses, and had once been a pop star in the eighties at the age of thirteen. Two car accidents and one emancipation later he was a reporter for a magazine that read like a tabloid. If he ever discovered I was the author NM Lee I was dead. He knew me as Nicky Lee, cousin or some sort to the author. He'd begged for interviews and I'd always put him off.

Daniel was afraid to be alone but sadly picked men who were beautiful faces and total assholes. He would come crying to Helen when they broke his heart but I don't think she really had a heart or patience for him, so it was me he ended up with. I'd let him cry on my sofa and he dressed me properly when I needed to gussy up. It was a fair trade.

So I spent my morning showering and dressing myself in my customary jeans, obligatory sneakers, and comfy but certified attractive t-shirt. I ran for coffee down the block where the morning girl Janine poured me my American Black without the cream so many others would dispense. The British creamed their coffee to death.

I choked that down, did a spot of grocery shopping from a mom and pop with mostly Asian food, then I rushed home to write. I was deep into it when Danny came buzzing the brownstone door at seven. I hadn't eaten more than shrimp chips all day and had easily lost track of time.

"Come up."

Shit. I was, well, looking dreadful, according to the mirror by the door.

Danny had been sent to a book sendoff party to cover it for his magazine. One of Helen's other authors had published a book of tell all political scandals. Apparently he'd slept with one too many aides in his time, no matter that he himself had sat in the House of Lords. Anyways, I had promised to be Danny's guest, and the night held promise as Helen sometimes had naughty tricks up her sleeves. She got us into interesting places and on my birthday I needed that.

Danny came in the open door wearing a Saville Row suit of flecked grey with a trendy salmon pink shirt and maroon tie. His black hair was slicked back in an artful style, so well done that even his frameless glasses added to the polished handsomeness. The only concession to mere mortality was the dangling cigarette from his lips; everyone smoked in London. It didn't affect his chiseled physique. Here gay men were more masculine than straight ones.

"Bloody hell, I say, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Working late." He thought I wrote romance novels but yet I was still stylish enough, with his help, to be his friend. It was touching.

"Damn it, go and wet your hair, I'll be right in."

I went into the bathroom and when he joined me he put me up into rollers. I stripped down to my underwear and suffered as he primped and primed, slathered and concealed me into beauty.

I had to change my bra four times before I found one for the black dress he'd picked out. It had a low back, a sweetheart neckline, and ended just below the knee with a small flounce.

Under his orders I'd burned my pantyhose six months before and Danny himself approved of the black garter belt and black lace topped stockings I wore. I should have been embarrassed to be naked or wear such provocative things around him, gay though he was, but Danny was so damned clinical about it.

"Nicky, wear the heels with the straps."

I gulped. "You mean the Jimmy Choos you bought me with the needle thin heels?"

He nodded. Well, they were painful but I knew how to walk in them. So I slipped them on, tied the ankle straps, and stood. Okay, so I looked killer, and I mean hot. My hair with its highlights was almost blond and my eyes seemed a lot bigger under Danny's masterful hand.

"I think you'll do, come on."

It was a cab ride later we pulled up the publishing house. We flashed an invite and a press badge and were let in to the fancy cocktail party. At the center of the grand room the author posed by a cardboard cut out of his cover, Helen next to him, and his long suffering wife and his publisher Mort completing the line.

Danny and I waved and Helen nodded back as we staked out the food. The plan was to make catty comments until he had to interview the author, go collect Helen, and then get drunk and head out to prowl at some of the clubs.

We made catty comments and I held up my end. I brushed off two un- and one desirable come-ons. Danny then excused himself to do the interview and I made my way around to find Helen, swimming through a sea of bodies.

She waved me over next to stand with her and a deep eyed man with a hungry look and polished muscles.

"Nicky, darling, meet Zeus," she introduced me to him. He was twenty one if he was a day, six feet dead even, with a long black ponytail and shocking silver eyes. He gave me a stare that said my advances would not be resisted and Helen frowned. She was a smart woman to keep young blood away from her young friends. Fortunately for her, though, I liked older men, not her boy toys.

"Pleased to meet you. So, you won't be joining us then?" I asked Helen with a tight smile. She had been my best ticket for a fun night, but now no wild parties were in my future.

"Zeus dear, go and do whatever it is you do." She made a kissy face and he obligingly went in the direction of the coat check.

"I am so sorry but you'll have Danny so it'll be fine. Do you mind?"

"Not at all," I lied. If I showed weakness, she'd pounce.

"Aww, so sweet of you to lie. I can tell something is bugging you, but have you ever lain with a Greek man? No? Well, then, I'll tell you tomorrow, and you can tell me your troubles then. Seven o'clock, dinner darling?" 

"All right, Helen."

"I'll bring Missy and we'll gossip." Missy was her personal assistant who thought I wrote cook books and was forever asking me for a good American version of apple pie.

"Uh, okay."

"All right darling, back to ecstasy I go." She knew my love life was less than stellar. Helen thought it was because I was cold, she had no idea I chose my celibacy. Didn't matter, she liked to flaunt her exploits in my face no matter what.

Still, it wasn't because of her I was feeling the pull for danger. Danny would keep me straight, though. I laughed inside my head at the pun.

She waggled her fingers and was off and as Zeus leaned over her hand to kiss it her muddy brown eyes lit on mine with devilish pleasure. She was gloating, waiting to see if I was jealous. I gave her a smile and blank eyes before shuddering and turning. 

Helen liked her little games and loved it even more that she couldn't get me to play them. She was a good editor and got me into new places and kept my life from being boring, but we'd never be really close. I suppose because she knew my secret I tolerated far more crap from her than I should.

Danny was with a small group of reporters doing a pool of questions. He nodded to me and so I waited. A man I'd rejected just an hour before, an undesired, approached me again and I had to get mean.

At last Danny was waving me over and I extricated myself. What an evening! Dumped by Helen I'd had to listen to would-be and fairly unsuccessful authors belittle my works and wander through the crowd alone.

He strong armed me away from the group. "Nicky, I've just met the most delish man alive! I want to take him home. You and Helen will be all right without me, right?"

"Well, um-" I started, but he wasn't even looking at me. No, he had eyes only for Mr. Tall, blonde, and dumb.

"Great! Call me tomorrow. Better yet I'll call you."

A true kiss to my cheek-uh oh, he was in bad, and then Danny was off. I was alone.

Damn it! It was my birthday and I didn't want to spend it all alone. I was all dolled up for nothing! I looked around the party, thinking maybe there was a man for me, but no one stood out. Even the one desirable come-on was gone, as were most of the guests, leaving for other parties or what have you.

What a sucky day! I got my purse and coat and slipped it on. Outside there was a clog of people and no cabs to be had so I hoofed it. It wasn't even ten.

I made my way down to the nearest Starbucks which had the tables half filled. I went up to the counter prepared to do battle with British wit and- lo and behold! Janine was there.

"Janine, I am so glad to see you!"

"Nicky! Good to see you again."

"Pour me some American style paint stripper."

"What's wrong? You never drink caffeine so late."

"And you don't work at this store." She took my money with a smile and I followed her over to the service area.

"Well I'm covering for this guy who got sick. Infected nose piercing."

"Jeeze, what's the world come to?"

She shrugged. "So what's bothering you?"

I sighed. "Well, truth be told it's my birthday and no one noticed. No family, no friends, nada."

"No family? Really?"

"Well, they're back in the states so I guess with the time delay and everything I might get a call after two tonight, but still."

"Well sorry. Have the coffee on the house." She passed me a steaming short black Columbian and walked back to the register. A bell dinged and she passed back my bill.

"Thanks Janine."

"No prob. So, you're all dolled up, what's happening?"

"Book party, friend's thing. Nothing really."

"Well I'm going clubbing with my girlfriends, you're welcome to join."

I smiled, flattered. She liked rave clubs, not my scene. "Thanks, but maybe some other time." The last time I'd gone out with her I'd woken in the morning with blue streaks in my hair and a pierced belly button.

"Still regretting the piercing?" she said with a smile.

"Don't remind me. I'm not as young as I used to be."

She laughed. "Hell, girl, I passed out before you quit dancing."

I was blushing scarlet. "I don't remember that."

"Holly's homemade liquor. What did you call it?"

"Hooch."

"Americanisms, gotta love 'em."

"Well, in that case, have a nice day." I saluted her and she smiled.

I took the coffee and left. The night was cool, early September usually brought rain but that night it was fog. My heels clacked loudly on the concrete as I went and I passed several strolling groups and couples. Two men whistled at me and I blandly saluted them with my coffee. They looked like sewer rats so I just kept going.

I kept walking towards my flat feeling, well, flat.

"Miss! Miss!" I knew whoever was yelling was yelling for me. I thought it was one of the men I'd just passed, and I didn't want to stop. The voice was a nice Welsh burr though, but I'd never met a stranger so willingly. Maybe that's why my sex life was so dull, I just wasn't willing. I kept going.

"Miss, please, stop!"

I turned and saw a very familiar face. Where had I seen him before? He was about six feet, give or take, probably closer to 5'11" with broad shoulders and nearly bad posture. Slouchy, relaxed. His hair was black and barely curling, cut long to shade his face. He had strong features, a very staid and ordinary nose, wide lips, with a blunt chin and corded muscles framing his smile. His eyes were brown but they looked almost black in the light. Who was he?

"Yes?"

"Forgive me for being rude, but I heard you talking to the barista back there and-"

"Oh, god. I swear, I'm not crazy, don't have a drinking or a drug problem, or whatever it is you're thinking. So, no AA pamphlets tonight, please."

"No," he laughed as I turned. "I mean, about it being your birthday. See, my birthday is in almost exactly a month off and last year I had the same thing."

"Oh," I said, blinking down at him. Down, for in my lofty Jimmy Choo height I was a giant among men at six two.

"Well, by now you're probably thinking I'm mad, or pissed-oh, you're an American. I forgot. By now you probably think I'm drunk or insane, but I'm not. I just wanted to say happy birthday."

I was baffled but automatically smiled. "Cheers then." Then I turned on my heel.

Some men take dismissal hard and yell "bitch!" Some take it as rejection and slink off. Some accept it and figure they're better off, and still some take it as a challenge. He fell into the latter camp.

"I know it's late but would you like a bite to eat? You've got to have cake on your birthday."

I turned back. "Thank you, whoever you are. But it's a little sad to spend one's birthday enjoying the pity of a stranger."

He spoke softly, something I couldn't hear.

"Pardon?" I had to ask because I wasn't sure just what he'd said.

"It's not pity."

"Well then what is it?"

"Well, I was hoping for an in with a pretty lady but-"

"A pretty lady?" I was baffled for a moment, quite unaware of much beyond my anger and self pity. "Oh, that's so sweet."

He clasped his chest and did a spin, dying a pantomime death worthy of MacBeth. "Sweet? Lord, she called me sweet, I'm done for-"

I giggled. "I'm sorry. Oh, stop it!"

"Sweet? Sweet? What kind of a comment is that?"

"Obviously an idiotic one-"

"You wound me to the quick, lady. I demand recompense."

"What?"

"Come with me to have birthday cake."

I looked around to the people passing us, the black cabs and busy traffic passing by. The business we were standing in front of was boarded up white with signs promising it was coming soon.

"I don't know." I bit my lip.

"I don't bite, I promise."

"You look really familiar to me. Do I know you?"

He gave a casual shrug and I remembered! "Oh, you're Ioan Gruffudd!" I'd written my first novel with him in mind to play my protagonist but he'd disappeared off the radar two years before, his career had stalled before the book came out. "I'm a fan of yours, how dumb." I gave a sheepish smile.

He ducked his head. "Don't know whether to be embarrassed or glad to be recognized."

"Well, you've filled out and your hair is longer but you look very similar as to when you did your last role."

"Thank you, I think. Now you definitely owe me a slice of cake. Actors hate to be told they've filled out."

I smiled. "All right. I'm Nicky, by the way."

He shook my hand, a little surprised that I offered it. Not many women do, but I like to test a person's hand shake. His was firm but not sweaty or cupping, I realized my fingers started to curl around his palm and stiffened them by forced reflex.

"So where does one get cake at this late hour?"

"I know just the place. Come with me." He grabbed my hand in his and stepped to the street, hailing a black cab. We got in, he let me go first and then he bundled in after with directions for the driver. It was a short ride, couldn't have been more than four turns but it would have been painful in my heels. I realized he'd considered that and so when we alighted I smiled and it felt so much easier to have my hand in his.

I looked around and saw a closed candy store, another coffee shop and an empty storefront that had previously sold French imports.

"So where do we get the cake?" I smiled and asked when he'd paid the driver and sent the cab off.

"I have a confession." 

I raised my eyebrow at that. "Oh?"

"Yes, I don't know of a place with good cake around here. But I happen to have cupcakes in my refrigerator."

I laughed. "God, I hope you haven't taken a sabbatical to become a serial killer."

"No, can't say as I have. But if you'd rather not I understand. Coffee shop makes a hell of a cream puff."

He still held my hand and I stepped back but kept that touch. "And how do you know I'm not a serial killing axe murderer?"

"Because we don't have many of those these days. The police are awfully good about catching them."

"All right then, cupcakes for my birthday it is."

He raised a wolfish eyebrow at me and smiled the smile of a tumultuous victory. Breathless, I watched as he dropped my hand and reached into his black blazer for the keys. Ioan stepped to the building in front of us, the door between the candy shop and coffee shop was small but well lit. I saw four buzzers as he let me in.

"Nice building," I murmured. It wasn't overly impressive but by London standards it was nice, by American it was average.

"Just moved in, my roommate needed more space." 

"Ahh," I said picturing a woman as we climbed the stairs.

"He got three Labradors," he muttered. 

I laughed but I was behind him and he had a nice butt, distracting me. I'm human, I can check. My pulse was pounding anyways because if he'd asked me for coffee I'd known what he meant, it would mean sex. Coffee means sex. Cake means, well, cake probably means cake. But it could mean sex. I hoped it meant sex and I knew I was losing my mind.

Several things flashed through my mind as I stood on his landing waiting as he unlockrd the door; first, I'd never had sex outside a serious relationship. Second, one night stands were wrong. Third, Ioan didn't know it but his American comeback film was going to be my first one from one of my novels. So if anyone ever knew we'd slept together they'd assume that was how he got the part, and it would damage his career.

On the other hand, he was turning me on. He didn't come on to me too strong and I liked that. He was masculine and compelling but not overbearing. He was well dressed, had excellent manners, and rough hands. He was like a flesh and blood fantasy, the kind built half on intelligent thought and half on animal lust. Well, hadn't everyone seen him as that in King Arthur? 

I guess that meant the animal lust was in the driver's seat.

"Come in," he smiled and I passed by. The inside was masculine, all dark wood floors and deep wall paper. It was black jacquard and the lights were amber and art deco. I followed him into the kitchen which was white. Through the pass-through I saw the black theme continued to the living room where it met silver.

"It's nice. Kind of dark. Makes me think of a well-decorated cave." I wondered who had decorated for him. He'd married his longtime actress girlfriend but there'd been a fairly nasty split.

He laughed at my comment and dipped his head into the fridge. I noticed his hair was slicked back, contained like most men do when they have curly locks. I wondered what it would look like free and licked my lips.

He stood up. "I lied, I don't have any cupcakes."

"Hmm, two lies in as many minutes. I think you'll have to owe me."

He smiled and I felt my confidence bolstered. After the Tragedy (big T in my little mind) I never suffered the paralyzing feeling I used to get in many social situations, and for once I was grateful. He leaned his hip against the counter. "Coffee then?"

Damn, this time coffee meant coffee, not sex. Damn, damn, and double damn.

"Sure thing." God, I'd had enough. "Um, may I ask where the powder room is?"

He frowned. "Americanism," I shook my head and smiled. "WC? Loo?"


Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 01



He smiled. "Ahh, second door on the left. First one's a closet but they're both black so be careful."

Chuckling as I made my way, I left my jacket on the hook in the hall realizing he'd only seen a skirt beneath a black trench. He had no idea just how good I looked, and what a cheery thought! Thanks to Danny I looked beyond fantastic.

Inside the bathroom I took care of the necessary. Life was uncomplicated, lasers had removed the hair from my pelvis below. An IUD sat contently in my womb so that I no longer bled or could measure my days passing as a woman. I was primed for just about anything but that hadn't been my intention.

My hair had long since gone back to its disturbing natural gold color and white blonde highlights in the front faded to caramel progressively towards the back. I wore it in a loose French twist, what they'd made topsy-tail for. I loved anything 1940's and it showed. I wore black eye liner, red lipstick, and a deep sweetheart neckline. The skirt flounced at my knees and my killer pumps were round toed, even if they were deadly stilettos. 

I retouched my lipstick, powdered my nose, and then I emerged.

He was in the living room and though he was sitting he gave a start when I entered the room. Good sign, very good sign. I smiled.

He collected himself rather quickly and smiled back, one hunter to another and chills ran up and down my spine. He'd brought out cups and a French press. Dear god, what did I do? Part of me wanted to tear his clothes off right then and there and overwhelm us both with lust, another wanted shyly to wait for him to come to me. I've never known which urge is saner with a man. And usually by the time I'd figured it out, it was too late.

I took the wingback chair next to his, the coffee on a round table between us, Ioan's eyes on me all the while. I felt it in my hips, my legs, my breasts. I should have known the games to play, how to cross my legs, how to twitch my hips but I didn't. I'd simply never learned and so I'd never relied on them.

He went to pour and I tried honesty. I slid my hand over the cup before the French press could tip. "No more for me, actually. I guess I lied. I've had enough coffee to last all night."

He raised an eyebrow and sat back down. "All right then, I believe I'm actually sick of it m'self."

I took a deep breath and though every cell was vibrating in a tremble, turned to face him. "Then I think we both know why we're here."

He said nothing but his Adam's apple bobbed reflexively. 

"I guess most people would be trying their best to be as seductive as possible right now, but I'm not like that. I'm a very factually based person and there are things I need to know before I-, that is, before we-"

I couldn't finish and he nodded. "All right, such as?"

"God, this is awkward. Well, I would volunteer that my last blood tests came back clean just two months ago, the last were six months before that also clean. I'm perfectly healthy, have no diseases, and I have an IUD so I'm not worried about getting pregnant."

He nodded and looked off, as embarrassed, apparently, as I was. "Three months and nine for me, both clean. I have a completely clean bill of health but for a migraine or two every now and then. I know this sounds crazy but I trust you."

"I don't think it's crazy, but it is a gamble. If you still feel we should use a condom that's fine. For some reason I trust you as well."

His eyes met mine, so dark brown they were hard black and matched the dark room. "I don't even know your last name."

I smiled as he held a hand out to me. I rose to slip mine in his. "Lee, it's Lee."

There was a flicker of recognition at the name but I quashed the spark beneath my lips. His were soft and hot and firm, the bristle of his stubble thick. I was on top, sort of speaking, but he took over quickly. Ioan pulled me across his lap and I settled, cradled in his arms.

He moved his lips over mine and back again and I was so icy cold, so goddamn hot. I thought I was going to explode and it was just a kiss. Then his tongue slid to mine and I lost conscious thought.

We walked, stumbling together, towards the bedroom some time later. We were tearing at our clothes; I peeled his jacket off, he found my zipper. In between we kissed and fondled, and by God did I fondle. He didn't have a killer American body, he was lanky with broad shoulders and fair muscle tone. Very, very British; very, very desirable.

He was fun to touch, almost hairless on the chest and yet rough and textured. I scored my nails over the bared flesh as we entered the bedroom. The only light was moonlight and the black theme spread to a huge four poster bed.

I'd gotten his jacket and shirt off, his belt hung loose. My dress was peeled down and as he stepped back I slid it down and kicked it off. Standing in my bra and panties with my stockings I probably looked more like a lingerie model than I felt.

The look in his eyes made up for any nerves I might have felt. What the hell, why wait to see him? I popped open the front clasp of my bra and let that drop, leaving the girls free to bounce against my ribs. His eyes widened his nostrils flared.

I'd never in my life seen a man get his shoes and socks off so fast. The pants came next and he grabbed me forcefully but gently. I was tossed on the bed and for some reason I got so damn wet at the sensation. I'd never thought I liked to be controlled but Ioan was proving me wrong.

I expected a fast tumble into ecstasy but instead of ripping my panties and plunging right in he pinned my hands down. Both slim wrists fit easily under the span of one hand and the other cupped a breast, brought the peak up to his mouth.

He devoured me and I was writhing. My breasts were very sensitive and with every pull of his lips, every flick of his tongue I climbed higher into madness, begging for release. I moaned something, it may have been a curse or his name, I couldn't tell, and he muttered something in the span of one nipple to the other.

I undulated, begging for his weight to settle between my legs, to relieve some of the pressure he was building, but he stayed to the side. I felt his erection pressed to my hip and I wanted to rub it.

He was reading me better than anyone ever had and he seemed to know what I wanted before I did. I liked being pinned down but I'd never liked it before. I realized it was a fantasy, a total departure from any previously known reality. That was the appeal, so I gave myself up to it.

The panties were ripped after all but only after he'd tied my hands down with his necktie. We never spoke and that first time he knew I needed it rough. But he was a teaser, a showman who knew how to build anticipation. He was gentle when I wanted to be bruised, he was rough when I expected tenderness.

His tongue was gentle on my clitoris, his fingers sliding ruthlessly inside me, in and out, making me buck. I orgasmed twice before he even removed his underwear and joined me. He let me see him in the moonlight and he was big. A little beyond average in length and very, very wide. When he filled me I gasped.

It went on for maybe all of five minutes, the thrusting, but it felt like an eternity and I had two of the oh-so-rare on-the-bottom orgasms. When he came he was far more expressive than I was used to, the sheer beauty of it was what tore a fifth and final orgasm from my weary body.

It didn't end there. He untied me, we cleaned up and cuddled wordlessly, then made love another time. He was still in control but was sitting up against his plush headboard while I straddled his lap. I ran my fingers though his hair and squeezed my PC muscles, making us both gasp and moan. He used those big hands on my hips to force me to move and rubbed deep inside me.

We slept after that and when we woke another session, spooning this time. I bit his hand as I came and when he exploded into me it was a violent rush that made me come yet again.

We talked for an hour after that about inconsequential things, watching the moon sink in the sky. His career, our travels. I told him I wrote romance novels and we laughed. We had one more sleepy time in what I called the T-bone, God only knew what it was called in the Kama Sutra. More a tangle than anything it was easy and perfect in the night.

I waited until he was asleep and when the sun came up I slipped outside in my wrinkled dress. My hair was messy and free, my makeup gone. I looked like a woman wild and I was.



Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 02



The cab ride home was dreamy and I settled into my waiting bed with a smile. I slept until noon when Danny woke me up with his latest heartbreak. He forgot all about it in the wake of realizing I had gotten laid and we celebrated with mimosas and a BBC 5 marathon.

He left to have tea with his grand dame of a mother and I settled into writing. I forgot to eat again and when the buzzer came I was once more surprised. I pressed the intercom and told Helen to come up. Without waiting for an answer I buzzed her in and left the door open, to return to my laptop.

I popped some M&M's in my mouth, hard to find in Merry Old England, and typed out a scene where my heroine was dismembering a body. The door swung open.

"Hey Helen, you're early. You can tell I'm not ready to go, give me five minutes all right? I'm in the middle of this kick ass scene you'll love."

A throat cleared and sounded awfully masculine for Helen. I turned and my jaw dropped. There he stood, Ioan Gruffudd. His hair was free and curly, his face stubbly. He wore jeans and a grey fisherman's sweater. Jesus, no one had a right to look so good. Handsome wasn't right, but devastating fit perfectly.

I was painfully aware of my ponytail, makeup free face, red t-shirt and blue jeans. "Um, hi."

"Hello," he drawled.

"What are you doing here?"

"You left so quickly, didn't even bother to say goodbye."

Yeah, cowardly of me, hunh? "Sorry, I guess I thought that was standard operating procedure."

He stepped in and kicked the door closed behind him with his foot. Ioan looked mad, somewhere short of a killing mad, but you'd never notice the difference unless you'd truly feared death and looked it in the eye.

"Standard operating procedure? Jesus woman, what do you think of me?"

He advanced and I stood, backing away towards the beaded curtain separating the cozy living room from the running board kitchen.

"I don't know what I think."

He smoothed his curls back though it was a wasted effort; they had a mind of their own. "I'll tell you what you think of me. You think I'm a cheap lay."

Oh God, did he think that? "I think nothing of the kind!"

"How do I know any different? I wake up this morning to find you've slunk out on me like a common thief."

Common, common, this was going well. I wanted him to leave so I could breathe. As long as he was in the room my chest was tight, and I think my gallbladder was going to burst.

"Th-thief?" Oh, God, I was sputtering. Did I mention he looked good? Strange fetishist that I was, I'd always been a sucker for fisherman's sweaters. And his shoulders looked so damn broad in them that my knees nearly buckled at the observation. Good thing I was against the door jamb, but he just kept coming. And coming. Coming towards me.

"Yes, a thief. I don't take these things lightly and I didn't think you did either, but I guess I was wrong. Or maybe I just wasn't worth it."

"Oh, Ioan, No, don't do that."

"What? Do what?" His voice was husky as he neared. He was only an inch taller than I but he had shoes and I was barefoot and I felt all of an inch tall. He towered over me.

"Don't make me out to be a monster. A coward yes, a weasel maybe, but not a monster."

"Oh? Prove it." His eyebrow arched in challenge at me.

"Prove it how?" I pushed away from him and marched into the center of the room behind the couch, before the desk. No corners there. "I'm sorry, okay? Look, we were strangers, we pretty much still are. I met you, we talked, we had sex, we talked some more, and I chickened out."

"Why would you?"

"I didn't want to face this," I made an accompanying hand gesture of a loose open faced palm flapping between our directions. "I didn't want an uncomfortable conversation, okay?"

He stared back, warily. I was scaring him! Good, right? Um, not so sure.

"What did you want then?"

God, he still thought I'd been out for a cheap lay. "Look, I know you think I used you. But you approached me, okay? So maybe I used you, but you used me too."

He shook his head. "I didn't use you."

"Then what? You thought I'd wake up, we'd be all hunky dorey, what?"

"Hunky what?"

"Americanism!" I practically shouted. "It means fine, good, well, in accordance, harmonious."

"Well I hoped for something. I know we jumped right into things but why can't we deal with this like adults, Nicky?"

"Because," I held my hand up when he would have come closer. "Because I'm not looking for anything. Look, I came to London to escape things back home. My life isn't easy or uncomplicated right now, and I don't need to add anything more to the mix."

I took a deep breath and smoothed my own hair back from my face. "I came here to be alone and write, do nothing but write. I can't be with anyone right now, it's too much."

"I'm not asking you to move in and take a bloody weekend with me."

"Well good. I can't even date right now. I'm very busy and sooner or later everybody tells me I'm ignoring them for my damn books." My gallbladder hurt, either that or the butterflies in my stomach were carnivorous. 

He stepped closer to me. I backed up. He took another step, so did I. "I'm a busy man too. I start filming here soon and I can't be free every bloody night." I went around the couch and as he spoke he chased me right back to the jamb I was at before at a maddeningly slow pace.

"Good for you." Oompf, my back hit the wall and he came closer.

"What I want is to just try, just try to be normal. One bloody day at a time, Nicky."

Bam! There went my gallbladder. "Ioan," I tried my best schoolmarm tone, "that's not possible."

He reached me and the tips of my breasts met his hard chest. His finger came up to blaze a hot trail over my cheek and down. "Anything's possible."

I squirmed and his other hand clamped down on my hip, keeping me in place. His fingers burned through my clothes straight to my flesh. "No, it's not. I don't know how you tracked me down, but you shouldn't have."

"Why not?" He nipped at my lips and sweet mother of God I was melting. Can a human live without a gallbladder? I hoped so.

"Because then last night could have just remained a forbidden fantasy turned memory," I sighed.

He stilled. "Oh, I see."

And he pulled away. I felt bereft and abandoned. How had I hurt him? "What? What do you see?"

"I suppose you're one of those crazy women of the forum then. Will you be posting messages to all your friends then? Have I been suckered so easily?"

He sounded so wounded, so I didn't roll my eyes. "That's not what I meant, all right?"

He swiped his hair once more, a reflexive gesture. "Then what did you mean?"

I sighed and averted my eyes. "Look, I've always been the good girl. I don't sleep with a guy until I've known him for eight months and we get our damn blood tests together. I always do things the logical way, the right way.

"Last night I was lonely and depressed and this good looking guy offers me cake. I realized who you were and it didn't matter, okay? I just wanted you for you and last night I wanted to be wild, to be free. I wanted to be bad and I was. We were. But I need that memory. I don't want to date you and in three months have a big row in a restaurant when you demand to know why I never call you or come around. Thanks, but I don't want those memories."

"So you're just going to hide like a bloody coward, not living your life and damning me before anything happens?"

I looked back at him and jerked a nod. He threw his head back and laughed.

"God, we're both fools. Both of us fools. So how about we compromise?"

Hunh?" How would we do that?"

"How long are you here for?"

"Until I finish this novel, another three, maybe four months." Then I'd be back in the states negotiating my film and he'd be there soon as well.

"I'm filming a BBC movie for another three months. Become my lover for that time."

Was he nuts? My mouth hung open. "What?"

"Nothing serious. Just one day at a time. I need a date, you need one, we call each other. We get lonely, we call each other. Nothing serious, no demands, and in three months we part ways amicably."

Wow, what we had last night for three whole months? Dear God. I was puzzled. "Can we do that?"

He laughed again and came closer, now that I was shocked and pliable. "Why not? If that was your fantasy it was an excellent starting point, you must have more."

I was blushing like an idiot. "I need time to think about this."

"No excuses to chicken out, Nicky."

When I looked into his eyes, they had turned black with desire. I shivered under his watchful gaze.

"I can feel it, you want me," he whispered. 

With his huge erection pressing against my aching body I didn't need to say those words back to him.

I was always the kind of person who made her mind up quickly and didn't second guess herself. When I decided, I went for the gusto.

I ran my hands up his arms and into his hair, pulling his mouth down to mine. The kiss was mine, and he sensed that I needed it. That's the most seductive thing that a man could do, when he knew how to read a woman enough to know what she wanted, when to master and when to be conquered. He let me plunder.

I peeled his sweater off and jerked free of my shirt and bra. We made it to the couch and I ordered his pants off while I stepped free of mine. I wore no panties beneath and he approved. His erection bobbed happily as he slid his pants down to his ankles. I climbed on and swiped our lips together, me straddling his legs, his erection hot and heavy in my hand. His penis was wonderful to touch.

He leaned his head back, his hands happily on my breasts as I slid him inside me. I sank down until I was full and both of us let out a whoosh of breath. Oh yeah, this was so much better than eight months of boring dates. Sooo much better.

I ground against him and he moaned. I slid up and down and I moaned. I swiveled my hips in a figure eight and his fingers left bruise marks on my thighs. I combined it all and we became animals. Licking, kissing, biting and making animal noises.

I came hard and he let me. I kept moving and when he was close I stopped and squeezed my inside muscles. He gritted his teeth.

I leaned back to whisper, "Not yet," and he groaned.

When I felt Ioan was sufficiently calm I returned to riding him. We cycled through twice more until I came with him. Grinding and thrusting we were hot and sweaty and clawing at each other. In the midst of our orgasms I heard the buzzer but thought, fuck it.

We spiraled down as I collapsed against his chest.

I was panting and he was breathing heavily. I wanted to keep my eyes closed and not think. We'd done it again; had I just taken a man to be my lover and nothing more? I'd never had that opportunity.

"Who was that at the buzzer?"

"My friend Helen. She'll bugger off of her own accord," I reassured him. Finally I raised my head and faced him. "I have to ask you one thing."

"Anything," he promised with a satisfied smile that made me shiver anew.

"I don't demand monogamy but I do offer it. Despite this most recent evidence to the contrary, I'm not promiscuous. But if you do have sex with other people I think I should know about it so we can take the proper precautions."

He nodded. "I can promise that. You probably won't believe me but I don't usually jump in headfirst either. I'm always a more cautious man."

And then he kissed me, a kiss not devoid of passion but cooler and deeper. A toe-tingling kiss.

"Oh my god! Nicky!"

Our heads jerked up and I saw Helen and her assistant Misty in the doorway. We hadn't locked the door. I flushed scarlet as the women gaped.

Helen chuckled. "Wonderful darling, we'll leave you be now. Call me with all the details later. Nice to meet you, young man." She smiled wickedly and closed the door.

I scrambled off and landed hard on the floor, and more than my pride hurt. I groaned and cradled my head while Ioan chuckled. 



Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 03



A month passed in bliss, despite Helen's razzing and Danny's utter disbelief that I'd taken an actor for a lover. How continental to have a man to fuck whenever I wanted, however I desired. 

Sometimes Ioan talked, but not too often. I was afraid he'd get too close and find out my secret. So we discussed his brother and sister, his friends. I met Rhys, his best friend, and his wife. We all had dinner twice. I liked them, they liked me, and Ioan and I fucked like teenagers in his car. It was great in a melancholy way. 

We got ices at a place that had been selling them longer than America had been a country. We walked the park and talked about his movie, shared funny stories, and had good meals all over town. Neither of us cooked. It was nice but it wasn't perfect and I just knew that was somehow my fault.

At night we fucked like minks. Despite both of our busy schedules we missed only two nights in that month and then we were upon his birthday. I invited him home for cake after he'd spent dinner mysteriously elsewhere. I didn't ask, didn't really care because I strangely trusted him. We spent all night together, and the morning, the first time we'd done so. By some unspoken rule we'd never spent the full night together but on his birthday he slept over. And when I awoke it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought.

I made bacon and eggs, an American farmer's breakfast after he crammed his broad shoulders into my small shower along with me. That alone proved to make spending the night worth it. I made his coffee white, took mine black, and we chatted. He asked more in depth questions about my book and I tried to answer with as much vagueness as possible, feeling slightly queasy from the guilt.

I sent him off to work with a smile even if we'd only gotten all of two hours of sleep. I put on my ABBA's greatest hits and as Waterloo came over, bopped around and began to write.

I spent most of the time before lunch writing at rapid speed. I was clean but in my usual jeans a t-shirt, comfy first, beauty second. I'd finished my look floppy slip-on sneakers on and a sloppy top knot hairdo.

At just after one a knock came at my door jolting me from my laptop. Only Danny, Helen and Ioan were friends who had the building access code, all others had to be buzzed in. As all three were working that day, Ioan was on call until after midnight, it had to be a neighbor.

I closed up my file and set my screen saver, smoothed my face and opened the door. Ioan stood there with a guarded expression, his hands holding something in front of him. I looked down and saw it was a boy. He couldn't have been more than six or seven, he had curly brown hair and bright blue eyes, but he had his father's cheekbones and jaw. I was shocked.

"Hello Nicky."

I recovered quickly. "Hi Ioan." I crouched down to the child's level and stuck my hand out. "And who might you be?"

"I'm Rhys," he shook my hand. "You talk funny."

I laughed at that. "I'm an American, we all talk like this. Well, most of us. Besides, you talk funny."

He grinned and shifted on his feet.

"Nicky, this is my son."

"I gathered. He looks just like you but for coloring. He's beautiful Ioan." I was puzzled, why did he not tell me he had a son? None of my business I guess, but why introduce us now? Had we gotten hotter and heavier than I thought? I gulped and knew he could read it on my face, the panic I felt inside. 

"I'm so sorry, but I need a favor."

I raised my brow.

"It's my day to watch Rhys, I have him all weekend. He was going to come on set with me but the shooting schedule moved up. We'll be filming some scenes not appropriate for young eyes. His mother is out of town and I can't reach anyone else."

He didn't ask but I knew what he wanted. So I crouched back down to Rhys' level and jimmied his baseball cap back. "Hey Rhys, my name is Nicky and I'm friends with your dad. But I'm new around here, what's say you show me around town?"

He shrugged. "I dunno."

I smiled. "Have you been to the zoo? I haven't."

His dad breathed a sigh of relief. "Rhys you can show her the zoo. You love the cats there."

I nodded. "I like jungle cats too, tigers are my favorite. What's yours?"

"Lions," he mumbled.

"Figures, everyone in the UK loves lions. All right, have you had lunch yet?"

He shook his head. "I'll make us some sandwiches and then we can go to the zoo, how does that sound?"

"Like fun. Is that okay, dad?" He asked looking up at his father. Ioan smiled down at him, a true beaming parent.

"It's fine. Nicky's very nice, you'll like her. But mind her and I'll see you tonight after I get done with work."

I stood up and sighed with a smile. "Still on call 'til the wee hours?"

He nodded. 

"Rhys can snag my bed then, the couch folds out."

"I owe you, Nicky. I wouldn't ask this if I didn't have to."

"I understand. We'll be fine, I'll get Rhys here to down a hot dog and root beer float, true American faire."

He smiled and ruffled his son's hair, pulling the cap off. "All right Rhys, be good, all right?"

"Sure dad."

Ioan passed me a slip of paper. "My cellphone will be off but you can reach the production staff at this number in case of emergency. Rhys is allergic to shellfish and he hates peanut butter. All I can think of. Oh, and here's his bag." He slipped a bowlers case towards me.

I chuckled. "So no PB and Shrimp sandwiches, got it. All right Rhys, are you hungry?"

He nodded and Ioan smiled, leaving with a nod. I made us tuna salad sandwiches and he was amazed to discover how Americans did it. With mayonnaise, mustard, celery, and chopped hard boiled eggs. With chips on the side and a cola he was in heaven.

We bundled against the chill fall and made our way to the zoo. It took the whole afternoon but we explored every stop and exhibit. We spent a whole hour watching the cats, jungle and savannah, and commenting. I bought him a small poster of the Lion exhibit and we stopped at a hardware store for some stic-tac.

I took him to this American ex-pat diner I knew where the owner fed me quite often. We got real Chicago style hot dogs with celery salt and no ketchup, chili cheese fries, and cherry-syrupped cokes.

"Do you like my dad?" He asked over coke and fries.

I almost choked. "He's a good friend. He's my mate." Well, to an American it meant what we were, to him it meant friend.

"Women always like my daddy and they're weird. He doesn't like them though, nobody but my mom. They're okay friends but they seem sad."

"I'm sure they're not, they're good friends."

He nodded. "He's never had another girl friend, and I'm glad you're it. Can I tell my mommy about you?"

He touched my heart. "You have to ask your dad about that, okay? But you and me, we're friends right?"

He nodded.

When I was assured he was stuffed silly we rented DVDs from the store, one a kids action and the other an animated Disney film, then toddled home. I popped popcorn and got out the caffeine free diet soda and made him change into his PJs.

We stayed up past his bedtime giggling over the movies and when he fell asleep I had to carry him to the bed. I tucked him and marveled at what a sweet soul he was. And damn it, my heart tripped and I fell in love right then with the man who'd raised him. 

So this was why he'd taken a sabbatical. His wife must have been pregnant just before they divorced so it couldn't have been easy. And to keep Rhys from the spotlight he'd kept him hidden, even from me.

What right did I have to be mad? I had more secrets than that, bigger ones and not as honorable. But I had to keep them, all the same, to protect everyone involved, and yes, that included myself. Feeling low as a worm I made up the couch as a bed, slid a couple of planks beneath to stave off the middle back bar pain, and pulled my bra from my shirt. In the bathroom I slid on some loose shorts, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. I flossed for good measure and then slid between the cool sheets, alarm set. 

Ioan would be over some time later and I knew his knock would wake me, but I needed sleep. I had an early appointment with Helen about the movie. I had to fly to Los Angeles the next week, and boy I was not looking forward to the jet lag.

I was asleep and it felt like minutes but when I awoke I saw it had been almost three hours. It was three a.m.

I crawled from bed and smoothed my long hair, answering the door. Ioan was there looking rumpled but spry. "Sorry to wake you."

"Come in," I stepped back and snapped on the light.

"How was it?" He asked with a gleam in his eyes.

"Rhys is a terrific kid, really smart and sweet. We went to the zoo, ate hot dogs, and rented some kids movies. He's been out like a light since eleven, I let him stay up late."

He smiled. "Thanks so much."

"No problem, I actually had fun." I yawned then, politely covering my mouth.

He looked me up and down with a teasing grin. "So that's what you sleep in, hunh?"

"Actually I usually sleep naked, but then again I do live alone. These are my workout clothes."

From the look in his eyes one might have thought I'd been wearing lingerie. I'd heard about this, actors doing love scenes all day coming home hornier than a toad. They cheated a lot because impatience led them to seal the deal with their costars.

"Ioan, we can't. Rhys is sound asleep."

"So? The door is closed and you must have another room in here with a door." He closed the front door behind him as he spoke low.

"Come on, be reasonable. We shouldn't."

The bulge in his pants matched the hard gleam in his eye. He advanced on me, something he seemed to do that a lot. "Ioan, Christ in a sidecar, it's three in the morning, I have a meeting in four hours, and your son is in the bedroom. We can't do this."

He grabbed my arms and I knew he felt the pebbles my nipples had become against his chest. He smiled like a hunter that had its long relished prey in hand. "I can be quiet, how about you?"

I couldn't speak and he kissed me hard. Next thing I knew we were in the bathroom, the little light on, its pull chain swinging. He lifted me up and set me on the low windowsill. My shirt was pulled off and yet I never felt his lips leave mine, I just responded to the urgency.

He swore as he tugged my shorts off and groaned to see I was naked beneath. He undid his buckle and slipped his pants down, his erection hard. I pulled up his printed t-shirt until his chest was bare and ran my nails down it. He batted my hands away and forced them onto his shoulders.

Without a word Ioan squared his stance. He slid into me without preemption and sunk until he hit home. I moaned into his mouth against mine to swallow any noise I made, gasping as he bumped my cervix hard. He began to pump furiously and he was focused solely on his orgasm. I recognized that I was being used and I didn't care. It felt so goddamn good that when he came I came barely a second later.

When I calmed down he was still coming and I moaned, enjoying the look on his face. He collapsed inside himself, keeping his body rigid as he laid his head on my chest.

"I'm so sorry."

I understood that meant that he didn't realize I'd had an orgasm. I couldn't speak though, mine had shattered me so much. His mouth made its way down, one hand capturing the breast to raise it to his lips, the other slinking around the front.

"Ioan I- oh!"

He found my clitoris with unerring ease and sucked hard on my nipple. He was still swollen inside me though softer and I clenched tight, still ready. He pulled and sucked and bit while the other hand flicked a continuous rhythm. I climbed higher and higher and when I came he tossed his left hand from my breast to clamp over my mouth.

Jesus, no one had ever so diligently worried about my pleasure.

I was still trembling inside and out and when we kissed it was so gentle it was beyond anything. More than the sex, more than words, it stripped us naked and what I felt moving beneath my lips was love. What I felt inside me was love.

I jerked back so fast my head rapped the glass.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Just want to get down."

Frowning he pulled out and stepped back, letting me hop down. I grabbed a towel and cleaned off, passing it to him. While he toweled off I slipped on my clothes again and straightened with a ram rod spine.

"Ioan-"

"What just happened here?" He asked at the same time. "It's like a switch flipped inside you, what happened?"

I took a shaky breath, then another. "I don't think this is working."

He couldn't have looked more shocked than if I'd slapped him. "We agreed upon a certain...arrangement and for a time that worked, but things have changed. I can't go on like this."

"What the hell, you're hiding again!"

His voice was quiet for Rhys but still raised. I whipped around with my hand on the door. "Quit saying that. I'm being reasonable. I asked for no complications and you, we, this has become a big one!"

He grabbed my shoulder and wasn't going to let me leave. I wasn't angry enough to resent that, I was hurting and scared and childish. I knew that.

"Damn it, who hurt you Nicky?"

I looked away. "It's not what you think. No one hurt me."

"Then what is it? Why do you run every time I look at you with more than lust or polite interest? Why is it you're never the one to call, or never want to sleep with me after we fuck? Why is it you make me say fuck, why can't I call it making love or having sex? Why so impersonal? Why the hell are you using me?"

"I'm not using you!"

"Yes you are!" He let go of me and swiped his hair back. "God damn it, you want me to fuck you, you want to fuck me. You want to talk about things that don't matter and pretend I'm nothing more than a friend, a convenience. I'm not a fucking tart, Nicky, and I won't be treated as one."

"Then you'd better go. Take your son with you and just go, Ioan."

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

He picked me up and moved me. I was startled, at my height no one had ever done that before. He set me on the edge of the claw foot tub and then he leaned against the door, arms folded. The message was clear, there was no escape.

"Ioan, what the hell do you want?"

"Normalcy. Do you know I'd been living like a monk for years before you came along? You were the first woman to know who I am and not fall all over herself for me. I liked that. You're smart, you're funny, and you're sexy as hell. I love that. But you have the mind of a child sometimes. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Like that Americanism?"

I didn't answer.

"Damn it, what is it Nicky? Is it me? Am I just not your type, or not good for anything more than this?" He gestured with palms open. "Is it my job, do you not want to be associated with that? Or are you just chicken?"

"Quit bullying me. I'm an adult, I have my reasons."

"Than act like one. Don't send me off thinking it's just a tantrum. Tell me you really want me to go, tell me you mean it and I will. Tell me why and I will."

I looked away. "I can't handle this. I just can't. All right? I'm not suited to be a girlfriend or a wife. I'm not suited to be anything more than a cheap lay. 

"With you it seemed great. We had this and you never bugged me for more like so many other people do. And if you must know you're the first person in a long time to like me for me, not for my money or what writing has done for me. I can't handle any more."

"What do you mean? Did somebody try something?"

I leaned back and laughed softly. "Back home people know me. Too many people, and my life wasn't my own. I was hounded night and day."

"So your books sell well there."

"It's more than that. I'm the only relative of NM Lee."

He knew that name and nodded. 

"In my own right I have over nine and a half million pounds in the bank, though you'd never know it the way I live. In years no one has looked at me as anything other than a gateway to the interview of the century or a paycheck."

He laughed. "Is that what you're worried about? That I'd do the same?"

"No, that's the thing. I never had to worry with you. But yes, if I'm seen with you and the paparazzi snaps a picture it could be trouble. No one knows I'm here, no one bugs me. I can walk down the street and no one knows who I am. No reporters go through my garbage. I like that."

"So? Get some security if that worries you."

"There's more, Ioan. NM is developing a movie from his novels and if people know we have a relationship, when he asks you to take the lead role people will talk. It could damage all our careers."

"So what?"

"So I know he'd been planning this two years ago, but other people won't. You just have to trust me that this is the best thing."

"Fuck that. I trust you, but I know you better than you think. Fear is not a reason. All right, you want to back away for a bit, that's fine. I know you're going to the states next week. I won't call you 'til you get back. But you get your head on straight and we'll talk then."

He opened the door fiercely and marched into the bedroom. I stayed hidden during the interminable minutes he got Rhys ready and watched him walk out the door with a look I couldn't read. I'd bitten off more than I could chew. 

Dumb me, I'd taken a lover and found a challenge.



Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 04



LA had been much as I remembered it; sunny, warm, beautiful people and no culture. I was bugged a thousand times to know who NM Lee was. Sad as reporters were, they never suspected it was me. They'd thought it was my father, they thought that it was my brother, or my three cousins. But they were wrong. All wrong.

I met with executives and laid down my demands. I'd live there starting in December to do a script with a real live screenwriter. That was the date Helen had warned me about and it meant just over a month more in England finishing up the editing on my current novel.

I didn't know what I'd come home to but I was scared. Legitimately scared.

I flew home contract in hand, ideas brimming, and slept for two days to get back on Greenwich Mean Time. The phone rang three times and I ignored it.

Finally at eleven on the third day I awoke to a loud bang.

I sat up in the bed and Ioan was in the doorway. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," I replied, blinking. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I told you I'd come. You've been hiding from me and I won't have that."

I yawned. "I've been sleeping off a 7 hour time difference and a bad vacation. Do you mind?"

He had the good grace to look contrite. "I'm sorry."

"Should be. Don't you have work today?"

"They're shooting around me. I won't have to return until the battle scenes in two weeks. You look like hell."

"Great, better than I feel. I need a bath, can you wait?"

"For a bath? God woman, they've invented showers, you know."

"Men," I shook my head. "Make yourself comfortable, put on some tea. I'm not doing anything until I've had a bath. There's a Wolves Dons game on."

"All right."

I brushed past him and shut myself in the bathroom. I heard sounds from the kitchen and a roar from a BBC channel as I drew the bath. I scented it, put in all the female things that made me happy and soaked. I lathered and smoothed, scrubbed and exfoliated. Finally I shampooed my hair and drained the tub, rinsing off with the wand. I slathered on conditioner and rinsed it out.

It took me thirty minutes but I rollered my hair and blew it dry, using body building mousse as I went. I put on makeup that was subtle and colorless, simply to shade my features and make me look polished.

I looked great, even wrapped in a towel. I came out and smiled at Ioan whose jaw reflexively worked, and closed myself in the bedroom. I chose more professional dress. Black chiffon pants in the exact measurements all my pants were tailored to and a midnight blue satin blouse with a sweetheart neckline and three quarter sleeves.

I put on my matching slipper shoes and my midnight blue y-necklace, a worthless bauble gift from a friend. I looked good.

I emerged to find him on the sofa, a cup of tea waiting for me, a beer in his hand. "You made me tea?"

He nodded, looking over his shoulder. "I don't drink it, but thanks."

I grabbed the cup and headed into my tiny kitchen. 

"So why do you have it?"

I looked up to see he'd followed me. "For my British friends. I drink coffee, soda, and beer. But not before six PM."

"Religious objection?"

"Actually, yes. But I don't care what other people do."

He shrugged. "So I've been thinking, about what you said. And it makes sense."

I raised my eyebrow. He was agreeing with me?

"I guess we signed up for something very casual and to be honest, neither of us is in a position for more."

I had to stop him. "I should tell you something. I found out I've got to move back to the US in December."

"When?"

"The first week."

"Oh."

I nodded. "So you can see I'm really not in a position for anything more."

"I've gotten word I might be shooting another film. Ironically in America, but it won't be until Spring. I don't know when yet."

When I got done writing it. "Sounds unsure."

"No script yet, it's loose talks. But I think it's an NM Lee film."

I shrugged. "You'll get it, and yes, that is straight from the horse's mouth. Have you read the book?"

"When it first came out. Loved it. Had no idea I'd someday play Donovan Cullen. I believe that's the role offered to me."

Well, I knew. "All right then, our lives are progressing nicely. So what now?"

"Why don't we just go back to what we once were?"

Could we? I chewed my lip and popped the top on a coke. "I'm not so sure."

He folded his arms and crossed his legs at the ankle, leaning in the doorway. Short of crawling through the pass through there was no escape.

"What happened in LA?"

"I just locked in my future for the next several years. Looks like most of my time will be back there. But England is home now. American accents sound so flat, everything seems so loud and different. I miss the rain, I miss this place when I'm away."

He nodded. "I lived there for a year and missed home every day of it."

"It's just depressing."

He ignored the fact that I had ignored the question. "Well, that's a month away. More than. We can enjoy the time left, can't we?"

"I guess."

He smiled. "Then come with me to a Guy Fawlkes party, that's all. And we don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"All right."

"All right? That quick?"

"I make up my mind fast and I try to stick to it. All right."

"But you haven't heard my conditions yet."

"Conditions?"

He nodded. "First, if you get scared just tell me and we'll slow down, or I'll back off, whatever it takes. No more hiding. I won't stand for it."

"Fine."

"And..."

"And?"

"Rhys has been asking about you. He'd like to see you again. But I'll understand if that's too much for you."

"It's not. He's a great kid."

"He wants a hot dog and his mother is baffled as to where celery salt goes on it."

I laughed. "It's a Chicago thing."

"Is that where you're from?"

I stopped smiling and nodded, taking a pull of soda.

"All right, too much I guess. You never talk about your family and it used to make me wonder, but now I assume you have to protect NM. I understand."

"Thanks."

We chatted about the game and were too nervous to have sex, though both of us would have denied that. I came over to his place that night and as a concession, I slept over after our lovemaking. He made me breakfast, something Welsh and damn near inedible. I smiled but refused the blood pudding. On that I would not give.

The next month passed lightly, little concessions between me and him to each other. Every time Rhys spent the weekend with him we'd go out and have fun. We went to amusement parks where the coasters were much smaller but the fun rides were better than back home. Ioan got sick on anything that spun so Rhys and I would go and bedevil him with taunts afterwards.

It was scary, but on those days we were like a family and no one hid anything, overanalyzed anything, or held anything back. It was shockingly intimate even when we didn't touch. Maybe because we didn't, so the longing built up. And when Rhys went to bed we'd lock the door to Ioan's room and the lovemaking was sweet and total.

Those times I didn't stay over; I didn't want Rhys to realize what we were doing.

Strangely it didn't hurt when the day to leave came. I thought it would but I felt bolstered, saved from myself perhaps. Rhys and I had said goodbye the weekend before, the night before Helen and Danny had given me a small party laced with complaints as to how much time I was spending with Ioan. 

So it was when I came home to a near empty apartment where my suitcases should have been waiting, I wasn't sure what to expect. I was more than a little tipsy, and weaved my way up the stairs.

It took three tries to get the keys into the door but I managed.

It didn't look like my apartment. There was a lot of stuff, so much so that at first I thought I'd walked into Mrs. Asprille's apartment again.

I started to apologize when Ioan stepped out into the room. It hit me then. There was an array of implements. Candelabras and things that looked vaguely like a dungeon setting from a movie. In the back my beaded kitchen was covered by what looked like some plastic palm fronds.

"What is this?"

"You're pissed."

"No, not angry, just so long as I don't have to haul it out."

He frowned. "I mean drunk. You're drunk."

I shrugged and tossed my purse on the couch, which had been covered with a blanket and Arabic pillows. "Jeeze this place looks like the Mustang Ranch."

"What's that?"

"Ritzy legal brothel in the states."

He smiled and I realized he was dressed differently. His pants were dark and tight, material indeterminate in the dim light. His shirt was black and flowy, the open neck cut deeply, ties that should have held it together sagged over his firm flesh. He was dressed like a wet dream and I gulped.

"So what is this?"

"How drunk are you?"

"Helen bet me fifty pounds she could out drink me. I won." I gave him a grand smile and felt my body weave a little.

"Congratulations, but that doesn't answer my question."

"I'll probably sober up in another hour. Maybe two, if I don't pass out."

He folded his arms. "You drink too much."

"I never used to until I moved here. I had to. I used to smoke and it was hard but I kicked the habit. Everybody here smokes and drinks so I had to do one."

"Interesting logic."

"So what's with the 'it's a small world' getup?" I looked around the room to see a variety of scenes. A jungle, a harem, a possible Grecian temple.

"Movie sets."

"Ahh, and what are we filming in my postage stamp apartment?"

"Something like that. You know, it's kind of hard to be all seductive when you're standing there grinning like the Cheshire cat."

"Sorry. I'm a happy drunk. Maybe if I had some coffee."

"I've never seen you drunk."

I shrugged again and stumbled slightly. "I don't so it very often. After Eric left me I was drunk for a whole year. Didn't like it very much."

"Who's Eric?"

"We used to be engaged."

"What happened?" He moved closer.

"He left me at the altar. Ran off with my maid of honor."

"I'm sorry."

I shrugged and stumbled again. "I realized I wasn't really in love with him. I was just going along. I think I was more embarrassed than anything. So many people blamed me, I found it totally ridiculous. They said money changed me, but it changed them. Changes everyone around you, you know?"

He was holding me, setting me back on the Arabian couch from which I had tried to rise.

"Aw, crap, I shouldn't have said anything. It's heavy. But it's all in the past." I gave another grin.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. They got married, just had a kid. Didn't bug me at all. That's when I realized I didn't really love him."

He patted my hand.

"Damn it, I really shouldn't be talking about this. I never told anyone."

"No wonder, if they blamed you for his infidelity."

"I work a lot, as you know. People like to spend my money, but they don't like that I have to earn it. They want it both ways."

"I understand how you feel."

I smiled at him, blissfully unsure of myself and uncaring. "That's when I knew. I'm just not built for relationships. I really don't like have to baby sit someone else's ego and worry about them all the time. I'm terribly selfish."

"No, you're not."

"You don't know me really well, and isn't that proof enough? Too selfish to share myself with anyone. Anyways, I think I'm talking too much. Coffee?"

He pulled me close and for a moment I felt that old familiar panic, the smothering, the fear that I wouldn't like what was coming and wouldn't be able to escape. The animal instincts other humans somehow suppress.

He loosened his hold, I guess I must have stiffened and he read it without comment.

"God I don't know why you do this to me," he whispered.

"Do what?"

"Turn me inside out, twist me around. You've done everything you can to drive me away and I just can't do it."

"You'll have to, Ioan. I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

"I know, I bloody well know that. So tonight, give me tonight."

He kissed me, and it was unusual. Almost sloppy it started somewhere between jaw and ear and moved as if without thought. God, it was perfect, just what I wanted. No artifice, no showy talent, just honest need.

His hands were still holding me and my brain was swimming. I wanted to run screaming into the night, just to hide my love. That it bubbled to my consciousness meant I could blurt it out at any moment and that terrified me.

But the feelings he aroused in me were magical.

I turned in his arms so his lips met mine. I'm sure I tasted of whiskey, I felt his surprise, but then he was pressing his erection into me. He knew how much I liked it.

I'm not sure what came next but my dress was half off and he was moving with maddening slowness towards my breasts. I wanted to grab his head and force it down but the anticipation was pleasure in itself.

When at last he reached a nipple it was pebble hard, the areole puckered and wrinkly. I was so sensitive that I cried out when he latched on, his mouth hot and wet. He pulled sharply and my whole body lurched with it. I whimpered because the pain was so delicious that I felt myself getting impossibly wet.

He pulled away with dark eyes and a dangerously masculine look. "Tell me your fantasy."

"Wh-what?"

"Tell me what you yearn for most, in the dark, what makes you come when you know no one else knows."

I shivered just at the suggestion. "I don't know."

He nipped at my nipple with his teeth. My panties were officially ruined. 

"I can't," I begged on a sigh. 

"Yes you can. Trust me, whatever it is, I've thought about it too."

I laughed but it broke on a moan as his clever hands found my inner thigh and moved slowly towards the apex.

"You'd be surprised, Nicky."

"I don't think anybody has most of my fantasies."

"Like I said, you'd be surprised. What is it? Another woman? Another man? Me with a woman, a man?"

I couldn't respond but those thoughts made me wet. His fingers were now whisping at the edge of my panties where I knew he could feel my wetness, my heat. He had to know all those things struck a chord.

"I'll tell you what I think. I think you like to watch."

He stroked my inner labia, the move so teasing that my reply broke on an animal sound.

"I think there's lots of things you like but you've never tried them. I think you hide your true self, even from you."

God, he was right.

"I think you like to be dominated. Hell, I know you do. And the thought of being the man to do it makes me so hard."

He circled my clitoris but would not touch it, killing me. I shifted my hips trying to force the pad of his thumb where I wanted it but he kept it out of reach.

"I think you want me to tell you my fantasies. Would you like that?"

One slow rasp on the clitoris and I was lost. The colors behind my eyelids were violent and bright, my leg twitching in tension.

"Open your eyes, Nicky."

I did and met his, so dark they were almost hard black. 

"I like your stockings, Nicky, and your heels. I want you to take everything off but them. Do you understand?"

His voice was harder, his accent stronger with thick emotion. Everything about him was much more commanding. I nodded and he pulled away to watch me.

I got the message from his eyes and pulled off my dress slowly. I peeled it down, imagining the cloth was his hands on me, caressing just where I wanted. I wanted to torture him, to goad him.

I stepped free and watched those hard eyes slide up over my body. The bra came next, I slid the straps down my arms until my breasts threatened to pop free, but then I caressed the exposed flesh.

"Get on with it," he growled.

I went even slower, enjoying my power. When at last I was satisfied by his white knuckles I undid the clasp and slowly peeled the lace away from my body. You would think it was the first time he'd seen my breasts, not the hundredth. He almost drooled but still managed to look cold and distant. Amazing trick, but easy for an actor.

I massaged them, partly because that bra made them ache and partly because I wanted to push his erection beyond the confines of his pants. The power was all mine and I wanted to use it like a weapon, brand him with my sexuality.

My nipples were so erect that even the cool air of the drafty room kept them going, they didn't need the help my hands offered but I kept on. He watched me pluck and pull, rub and twang.

I could see he was breathing a little heavier.

"Nicky, the panties."

His voice sounded strained and I myself was so turned on I couldn't think. I ripped them off, surprising him with my strength. But I could see he approved.

"Now take that one lit candle and light a few others."

I did as he asked and he turned off the low lamp. I only lit two more so there was three. Just enough to see everything but dark enough for some mystery.

"Come over here."

I came to stand before him, still dressed, his eyes harder than ever.

He pulled out another candle, not a taper like the others, but shorter, fatter, and purple. "Lay down."

He moved to one end of the sofa and positioned me on my back, waiting.

He moved my legs apart so one rested on the back of the sofa, the other across his lap. His eyes were for my pussy, but his free hand softly traced the stocking on my left leg.

"Touch yourself for me. Show me what you like."

If I had been sober I don't think I would have been willing, but I did as he asked. I moved my hands slowly down my stomach knowing it would tease him, but it also stalled for me.

I had never done this for a partner, never done it as anything other than a fast furious substitute for a man. Now I wanted it to drive him crazy. I wanted to tease him until he tore his pants off and sank that monster cock inside me, dripping with precum.

So I teased my slippery folds, feeling my cold fingers create shivers. I scissored my clit and slid my fingers up and own, knowing he wanted more. It felt good, so good, and my head fell to the side. My hips pumped just a little and I could feel my wetness grow.

When I heard a stifled moan from him I took pity and slid a finger inside me. I pulled it in and out a few times before adding another. I turned my hand so my fingertips grazed my g spot and it caught me by surprise. 

Everything faded to sensation. My other hand stroked my clit as I moved my fingers back and forth across the raised nub inside. My thighs tried to close but his wide body was there to block them. It flashed through my mind the fear of being watched, judged, and then I was about to tumble over.

He caught my wrist and jerked both my hands away. I cried out and bucked, eyes open and staring.

He looked strained and angry. "You come when I say you come. Got it?"

I nodded, slightly scared and thrilled by it. I had never seen this side of him before.

I expected forced submission, a barrage, but instead he produced that little candle. I watched in rapt fascination as he traced it up my left leg from ankle to the top of my stockings.

It reached soft flesh and I quivered, scared and thrilled at the possibilities.

He used the cool wax to stroke my pussy, pushing the wet lips apart and barely rasping my clit. I was still on the edge and whimpered.

"Take it."

"What?"

"Do as I say. Take it!"

I took the candle for him and waited for my next order, breath held.

"Fuck yourself with it." The bluntness of his words turned us both on.

I lowered the candle and spread my lips, putting it by my opening. I worked it in slowly, it was wide, quite wide, but I was wet, drippingly so. His eyes never left the candle until it was impossibly in. I took a deep breath feeling my muscles stretched.

"Fuck yourself with it. Fuck it, Nicky."

I moved it back out with some measure of relief and sunk it back home quickly. The sensation surprised me and I cried out, seeing his nostrils flare in time. I repeated the action and felt my body lurch, desperate for orgasm.




Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 04



I slowed down some to stave it off and he shook his head. "Faster."

I moved faster and my body was shaking from the need to come. "Please, Ioan, please let me come."

"No, not yet. Keep going, Nicky."

I sobbed but did so, feeling my body roil and rock, the sensations pulling at me, my body desperate to find release. And then just as it was about to take me by storm his hand was on the candle, stopping it.

"Leave it in," he said as he slipped from the couch and stood. "Watch me, Nicky."

He began to strip, jut as I had, but I was a thousand times more aroused than he had been. The shirt was peeled off in a move worthy of Chippendales and I had to wonder where he'd learned it.

He stroked his own body, the hard lean muscles, drawing my eyes across each and every ridge and sculpted plane. He didn't have a six pack but it would have looked ridiculous on his frame if he did. Instead he was just hard and lean and mouthwatering.

My womb contracted and for a horrid moment I thought I would displease him and come but it passed. He winked at me.

The shoes were off with graceful kicks and them he smoothed his hands over his pelvis, outlining the hard line of erection. I felt the womb twitch again and whimpered.

"You can't come yet, Nicky, but I must say I'm flattered."

"Jerk."

His eyes darkened. "I'll have to punish you now."

I shrank back, unsure of that threat.

"Pull the candle out."

I did.

"Lick it clean."

Sober I would not have done it but I did as ordered. My juices were hot and mild, salty. I licked the candle clean and then waited.

"Stand."

I did and he sat on the sofa with his legs extending far over the edge. "Now kneel across me."

I felt a fluttering inside my stomach but I did as asked.

He bent me over and smoothed rough hands down my back. He cupped my ass, bending down to reach it so his mouth found my ear. "I treasure you."

The first slap was a surprise. Not too hard, enough to stimulate the blood, and just as it began to fade another. Another and another. I had never thought I would enjoy such a thing but he made it pleasurable. Now in between slaps he would stroke my pussy, swollen and sensitive beyond imagination.

I moaned and knew I was reaching another level, the peak was in sight and he stopped.

He put me on my knees in front of him.

"Unlace my trousers."

With trembling hands I did so and his erection sprang free, unhindered. It was larger than I'd ever seen and I was comforted by the knowledge he was suffering some of the same torture I was.

"Suck it."

I didn't need to be told twice and like all his other tortures this was an activity I loved. I tried my usual tricks, swirling tongue, piecemeal suction, but he grabbed my hair and forced my head down.

He was deeper than he'd ever been and I sucked, fighting the gag reflex. Once my throat relaxed I took more and more with each lowering of my head. He wasn't very long, just above average, but his girth was what made me struggle.

Finally I made it down all the way to his balls and he jerked my head away, hissing. I watched rapt as he pinched the base. Ioan shuddered for a moment holding back his own orgasm and when he opened his eyes I licked my lips.

He lightly pushed me onto the pillows and I sprawled onto my back as he kicked off his pants.

"No, that's not it. On your stomach."

I rolled over and waited patiently. He arranged me as he knelt down, dragging my pelvis back. I felt the broad head of his cock at my opening and tried to shimmy back but he wouldn't let me. His fingers dug into my hips and kept me still.

"Look at me."

I turned my head and saw him over my shoulder like some wanton pagan god. I felt like a virgin offering, perverted beyond measure and still unsure of herself.

"You come when I-" he thrust in and I gasped. "Come."

God, he was wider than the candle and I was almost unprepared. I wanted to swoon with pleasure but he kept me up, kept me with him. He moved slowly at first until I was cursing and then he went a measure faster.

The orgasm was there, hungry and snarling in the shadows, waiting for permission. At last his balls were so tight against his body they no longer slapped against me and his arms were painfully tight.

He tumbled over the edge and I let the orgasm claim me.

I might have screamed, I might have been silent, I might have sung a Sinatra tune. I didn't know; I blacked out after the most intense sensations I'd ever felt and came to seconds later.

He was holding me and his demeanor was changed. I think he was scared that he'd gone too far. To tell the truth so was I, so neither of us said anything, just untangled and went to sleep on the bed of Arabian pillows. 



Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 05



Three months had come and gone since that night, and I could still remember every detail. Nothing in my life had been so erotic. I'd thought often on the plane ride back to the states how I should have been horrified or ashamed, but all those memories did were make me wet and whimpering.

I had snuck out like a thief with a torn dress and a suitcase in hand. I left a kiss on his cheek and nothing more. No forwarding address or phone number.

America was much as I remembered it. The second I reached the public access area of the airport there were cameras. Could I tell them which relative was NM Lee? Did I even know? Why was I in LA? Was I there to broker a deal for NM?

I waved them off and kept my head down.

I moved into a hotel out of laziness and hammered out a script with a very good screenwriter. He too thought I was NM's relative, never guessed the truth. The few producers who did know had signed confidentiality contracts and would never tell.

So I lived alone on room service and kept to myself. I watched try out tapes. The only person we'd had in mind before the script was finalized had been Ioan and now he was almost set. Matthew McConnaughey had signed on and now we were casting mostly unknowns.

I had input on casting and production, but not much. I couldn't very well be interacting with the cast as a producer than have them see NM listed as one, now could I?

So three months had gone smoothly until the lead producer Cal called me in my suite one morning.

"Nicky, we have a problem."

"Oh?"

"We're going to lose Ioan if you don't come meet him."

"My God, why?"

"I didn't know you knew him. He thinks NM can help him find Nicky. I'm guessing even he doesn't know who you really are."

"And it's supposed to stay that way."

"He's going to walk. He's the biggest star, the press releases have plugged him, we cannot lose him. You have to do something."

"Absolutely not."

"I am not kidding. He's going to walk and if he does, we pull the plug. You'll never get another film in this town again."

"Are you threatening me? I could make life very uncomfortable for you, Cal. That is if you're threatening me."

"I'm not threatening you, it's the truth. Look, come down here and bullshit him. Tell him NM is not available. Whatever he wants to see you for just tell him what he wants to hear. We gotta schmooze the talent."

"Cal," I sighed, "I am the talent."

"Yeah, you're also a producer. So buck up and get your ass down here."

"Where?"

"My office."

"Two hours."

"One."

"Two."

"Fine!" He hung up.

I frowned at the phone and studied the mirror. A few pounds lighter, tanner, my hair was marginally longer and lighter. I looked good, but did it really matter?

Hell yes. A woman's looks were her weapons.

I showered quickly and made sure I was still smooth and free of hair. I lathered on light moisturizer and scented myself softly. I put rollers in my hair and dressed in a sexy low cut red wrap shirt and a matching skirt that showed off my athletic legs.

I added ankle breaker pumps and subtle makeup to make my lips poutier, my eyes bigger and bluer, my skin glowing and dewy. My eyebrows were perfectly arched and dark gold, my eyelashes impossibly long and uncluttered. My lips were sinful seduction red and my hair fell down in soft, voluminous waves of golden-blonde sun-warmed strands.

There wasn't a man alive who would be unaffected.

My car was waiting for me in front and I peeled off in my classic Mustang. The studio was across town and it was almost a forty five minute drive by the time I arrived. Security waved me in and I parked by Cal's office.

I made sure to step out using legs and posture and two actors in costume almost tripped over themselves. Bolstered with confidence I swept in.

Cal's secretary Marta was looking haggard. "They're inside, go on ahead."

"Who all?"

"Gruffudd and Cal."

I nodded and swept in. Both were at the conference table, Cal was facing me and chatting away nervously, Ioan was seated with his back to me. I noticed right away his hair was longer and curlier than I remembered.

"Here she is."

Ioan whipped around and I saw surprise flash before a mixture of emotions. Male interest, possession, fury, and agony all at once. I'd never seen that look on a human before, just on statues in Florence.

"Cal, may we have a moment alone?"

He looked nervously at Ioan who was still staring at me.

"Now?"

He slowly rose and I watched him until he was behind me and the door shut. I walked over to the blinds and closed them. Ioan just watched me.

"I was looking for NM."

I sat down with a deep breath. "Nicky Meghan Lee, pleased to meet you."

He almost gaped, and I saw a tick at his left eye.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I really wanted you for this role and I thought what...we had might have gotten in the way. I do hope you'll be professional enough to overlook this."

Nothing, just that grim look.

I sat back and crossed my legs, well aware of the effect they had.

I waited until he finally spoke. "Was it all some kind of joke?"

Some of the ice melted. "God, no. If you'll remember, it was a mistake at first. I tried to back out. When I told you I couldn't handle anything, I meant it. I meant this."

"Then why do it anyways?"

I set my jaw. "You were there, I'm sure you remember."

Something dark passed through his eyes. "You could have at least said goodbye."

"Ioan, you threatened to walk off the set of a film guaranteed to make millions to track me down. Is that really what you wanted to talk about, that last night?"

"Not quite."

"Then spit it out. We both have very busy days ahead of us."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"You didn't just duck out on me, you ducked out on your friends. Danny was the one who woke me the next morning, he'd come to check up on you. He also said you'd tearfully confessed you were in love with me."

The way he said it made it seem dark, perverted.

Folding my arms I forced a smile. "A foolish notion, I assure you, brought on by too much sex and not enough sleep."

"Don't lie to me, Nicky, I don't like it when you lie."

I cocked my head. "It was only one time I jumped when you said so, never again. And that was just mindless fucking. Do not confuse it with real life."

His eyes were mocking as they trailed down my body. Okay, I had dressed to defeat, but had it been to impress? With his eyes he implied so. He himself looked tired, his skin not quite adjusted to California sun, his eyes not adjusted to the time zone. His shirt was open at the collar, his jacket unbuttoned, his stubble thick for one day.

Had I thought him hard edged before? He was an entirely different species now.

"You would still like it. No one else can give you what I do."

"No, they can't."

He looked shocked so I raised an eyebrow in condescension. 

"What? You thought I'd lie? I doubt I could find a man in history as good as you, but that doesn't make a difference. I have other things I have to pay attention to in my life and no time for any silliness."

He stood and I instinctively shrank back. He smiled down at me. "Silliness? Really, you call it silliness?"

He came closer and I held my ground, still afraid of what was to come. His fingers trailed on the dark tabletop, looking pale and thick. I remembered just what they could do to me and damn if I wasn't wet already.

"Yes, I do."

He stopped next to my chair. "I told you once that you hide from yourself."

"So?"

"Now I can't tell if it's me or you you're hiding from." He crouched down next to my chair and brought his face level to mine. "So tell me."

I shivered and tried to put the ice in my stare. "Are you going to do the film or not?"

"I will on one condition."

I sighed. "And that is?"

"While we're filming, at least three nights a week, you'll fuck me."

I slapped him and he just took it, bringing his face slowly back to mine and cradling the red finger marks with his hand as if it were a sensual treat.

"I am not a whore!"

"I never said you were. If I could buy your services I would, but I will use any leverage I can to have you again."

"Why?"

He stood and looked down at me. "Because no one gives it like you."

His hands were coming up to his belt now, hanging loose and framing his crotch. I had to look and blushed scarlet. His erection was huge.

"You sick bastard." He was enjoying this far too much. 

"Is that a yes?"

"I could sue you for sexual harassment."

"And lose the movie? I think not. Tonight, my place."

I stood and brushed past him, glad my heels gave me two or three inches over him. I unlocked the door and locked back with the most triumph I could master. "We don't start filming for another month."

He folded his arms and gave me a cocky grin. "I'll be nice and save it up then. I promise you...you won't regret this."

I slammed the door shut and scared Cal and Marta. They waited for my answer with wide eyes and flinching hope.

"He'll do it."

I stormed out dreading what was to come.

That anticipation just built and built over the month until filming began. We shot some of the sex scenes first and Ioan was too dominating. The director had to tell him to back off, the actress he was working with was giggling and nervous. Her first love scene and Ioan had that massive erection poking her at every turn.

I knew that giggle very well.

The first night I was given an address and nothing more. It took me three hours to get ready. I'd left the set early to decide what to wear and he gave me a knowing look, that was when I knew the blonde actress on the bed was me in his mind and that rough passion was what he was saving.

I went for contentious. Comfortable t-shirt with the Minnesota logo on it, broken in comfy jeans, and worn sneakers. The makeup was absolute minimalist and my hair was in a ponytail. I washed it and that was my only concession.

The house was smaller than I'd expected and reminded me of Chicago. Almost a bungalow it was in neutral colors with barn red trim. Unusual to say the least.

The door was answered by a tall slim blonde woman. His ex wife, I recognized.

"Um, hello."

"Hello," she said evenly.

"Nicky! Nicky!" 

I looked behind her to see Rhys who came barreling out the door and into my hug.

"Hey kiddo!" I ruffled his hair. "How do you like America?"

"Everyone here talks funny like you!"

"Here you're the weird talker."

"Mom, can Nicky come with us to the restaurant?"

She looked speechless, so I stepped in. "Sorry kiddo, your dad and I are working on his new movie together. We have work to do tonight."

"Aw, heck. Dad's taking me to the zoo after work tomorrow, maybe you can come."

"We'll see."

The ex folded her arms. "You, uh, you work together?"

"Producer."

"Hmm, I know how that goes. I'm Alice Evans."

"Nicky Lee. I've seen your body of work, quite impressive. I thought you gave 'The End of Life' much needed warmth, playing Anna as a stutterer. I know that wasn't written."

She gave me a smile. "What have you worked on?"

"Mom-my, I'm hungry."

"Not much. I won't hold you up."

"Thanks, I'll let Ioan know you're here. Come on, Rhys."

"I wanna stay outside!"

"Can you watch him?"

"Sure thing."

"Thanks."

I turned to Rhys who was spinning and making airplane sounds.

"So done anything cool lately?"

"Naw. Dad took me for a hotdog at this place shaped like one but it wasn't as good as the one you gave me."

"Celery salt, kiddo. We make 'em like that in Chicago."

"Where's Chicago?"

"About fifteen hundred miles thataway." I pointed and he laughed.

"Come on, Rhys. Ioan, Nicky." Alice came out with a smile.

Rhys waved and I waved back before turning with grim resentment.

Ioan's hair was freshly washed, still damp and curling. He wore a navy blue t-shirt over worn jeans. We actually matched.

"Golden Gophers?"

"College team."

"Ahh. Come on in."

I don't know what I was expecting. An X rack, maybe two Dallas cowboy cheerleaders and a German Sheppard. I just couldn't go that far.

Instead I found a comfy looking couch and plush armchair, coffee table and entertainment center. There was a dining room beyond the living and a den to my left. He led me into the den.

In there it was wood paneled, the couch was black leather so was the chair. The fireplace was gas and going, the lacquer coffee table sported two balloon glasses and a bottle of a decent Spanish red.

"Have a seat."

"Okie dokie." I dropped my purse on the floor and sank down on the couch.

There was something distant and unreal about this. I'd grown up around whores and I knew how impersonal it was. I just wasn't sure if I wanted that or the resurrection of my love.

Perhaps that was it; if he made me love him, didn't he win the ultimate power game? If it went on long enough, he would. But that didn't mean I'd have to give in and surrender so easily.

He poured the wine and passed me a glass before settling next to me.

"So what now?"

He smiled. "It's been a long day."

"So I'm off the hook?"

"Hardly. But I thought it would only be fair to let you call the shots."

He was testing me. He'd see how far I went tonight so he'd know what limits to push tomorrow. I took a sip of the wine and laughed. "In that case as long as your tongue is limber I can get out of here in under ten minutes."

"Oh, we can do anything you want, but you did promise to fuck me."

"I think that would be fucking you."

"Not over, my dear."

"What exactly are you trying to prove?"

He sank back into the cushions in what was extreme grace. "It doesn't matter, does it? Whenever you want me, dearest."

"Asshole," I cursed. I slammed the glass down and took his, doing the same. "You have a bedroom somewhere?" I'd been too easily provoked and knew it the moment the words left my mouth, but it was too late to turn back.

"Three, actually." He looked amused. Smug bastard.

"What's the closest?"

"First one on the right upstairs."

"March."

"Nicky, I do believe your foreplay has slipped."

"Move it." I didn't have to make this fun. For anyone. I wondered briefly if he had to have an orgasm for my obligation to be fulfilled.

He led me up to the master bedroom. It held a king size bed and dresser, two doors. One was a walk in closet the other a private bath. I closed the door and peeled off my shirt.

"Get naked."

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. He did undress though, as quickly as I until we were naked and standing. I sat on the bed and patted it. He sat.

I reached for him and pushed him until he was on his back before I straddled him. I shouldn't have looked in his eyes but I did as my hand met his cock. It was partially swollen and a few quick turns of the wrist made it grow harder and harder.

He kept his gaze on mine as his pupils dilated and god help me, I was aroused by his submission. Enough so that I felt confident moving my pelvis towards his.

"No."

"No? I thought this is what you wanted, Ioan."

"Damn it, you're not ready. Don't punish yourself to prove a point."

"I thought I was in control."

He leaned up on his elbows and raised an eyebrow. "Than act like it."

I rolled off onto my back and tugged him over. "Suck my nipples." Dominatrix I wasn't but I thought I could put on a good enough show.

This began a game where he misinterpreted my every command. I said suck he licked; I said harder he went faster. It turned me on, the various stimulation but it was frustrating. Damn it, he'd gotten around my own ego.

"Do as I say."

"Make me."

He thought I was chicken but I moved fast. I dug my right hand into his hair and yanked back, the other hit a nerve bundle in his chest. He froze in pain and I rolled him to his back. Had I a whip it would have been better but he was much stronger; surprise and pain were all I had on my side. As he gasped his eyes grew dark in anger.

"Now suck my clit."

I straddled his face and settled my pussy down. He could have done any number of things but he sucked as told. From then on he did as I asked and I found myself climbing higher and higher towards my goal. I came like a speeding train, shaking and moaning. He kept up the ministrations through it all.

Fuck. He had won, yet again.

I rolled off for a moment to catch my breath and he turned. 

"What next?"

I looked down at his cock, half erect. Might as well enjoy it now that I'd lost. "Stroke it for me. Touch yourself."

A dark look, as if he might challenge but then his hands moved down. I would have sold my soul for the strength not to look, but I had to. He was huge and his hands were so pale against the red of his cock. He moved two hands in time, stroking until precum slipped out and then he used his thumb to lube the head with it.

I stared dry mouthed and felt my womb contract in time to his strokes. I could see his balls tighten and I knew he was close. He looked at me and I brushed his hands aside, taking his cock in hand and stroking it.

"Don't stop. Cum."

"Y-y-you s-said you'd-d f-f-fuck m-me."

"I will," I promised. God damn, I was lost, powerless in the face of my desire. My own personal Night of the Iguana.

He gave a shout as he came and I pinched the top of his penis hard, shutting off the cum and letting him shiver and gasp in orgasm. At long last he came down with a frown.

"What the fuck was that?" His voice was heavy and thick and held the barest hint of a tremble.

"Welcome to multiple orgasms for men one-oh-one."

"What?"

I pulled my hand away and he was still hard.

"Grab the headboard."

"Explain yourself, woman."

"Do I have to hurt you again?"

"You're welcome to try. Woman."

Oh, now he was just being bitchy. Tuning him out, I rolled off the bed and stood, looking for my clothes. "Then I'll leave."

"Damn it!"

"Grab the headboard!"

He grabbed it and I came back slowly. His cock had wilted slightly and I licked it back to hardness, all the while he grasped the wooden slats so tight I thought they'd break.

When he was hard enough I lowered myself down. "You'll have to come when you need to, It's too dangerous to hold back twice."

He grunted as I began to move, focused solely on my orgasm. It was there, starved for nearly four months and so delighted to have the monster cock back my body couldn't wait. I raced there and when I came, he groaned and came with me. The spray of come was incredible inside me and triggered another orgasm, heart stopping.

Unceremoniously I rolled off just as it ended and went into the bathroom for a towel. I cleaned up and came back in, tossed the towel to him.

"You leave a lot to be desired."

"I'm not the fucking welcome wagon. I'm your fucking whore. Want more? Tough shit."

"So angry." He gave a knowing smile and I itched to slap his face.

"I don't like being used." I jerked my pants on when I couldn't find my panties and searched for my bra.

"You think I'm using you? God, are you naive or what?"

I threw his pants at his head. "Thanks to you I have to reveal a very important secret and sleep with a man I don't want to three times a week for months. The least you could do is be a gracious winner."

He'd caught the pants deftly and just watched me with those dark eyes. It was a level gaze and made me feel like I was being childish but I just didn't know how. "It's not a game, Nicky. What can I do to make you see that?"

"Leave me the hell alone?"

He shook his head. "Tonight was spectacularly bad, and it was still great. Remember when it was fucking fantastic? What's so wrong about that?"

"I don't like where your head is. Snap out of it."

He smiled.

"Thursday, wear something sexy. I mean it. I want good underwear."

I just snarled and stormed out. Whatever he was playing at, I did not want a part of it.



Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 06



That Thursday and the rest had been under his control. Ioan was a master at seduction, he made me hate myself for wanting him so much. He never pushed too far and I'd grown brave. I'd even gone to New York the night before one of our last dates. Let him stew, I thought, over whether or not I'd come back in time.

The last session had ended with a blood red rose and a request for my sexiest outfit on another Thursday. Bastard. He had used that red rose to bring me to heights of pleasure never known before. He'd broken my will, he'd turned my body against myself, and still he wasn't satisfied.

I woke up for a meeting with my publisher before coming back to LA, deciding on the last minute to meet his challenge. I was tired and felt surly, but the money I'd just deposited as an advance took the edge off any anger Ioan aroused.

I was angry that I'd bought La Perla for him, angry that I'd gotten my hair done artfully so it didn't look done at all. Angry that I'd gotten a very sexy blue wrap dress that came off easily. And angriest that my shoes were dead sexy and designed only to arouse lust. Still the money was enough to let me know that no matter what Ioan would not own me. No one would.

I arrived at the house at the appointed time only to find a limo waiting.

"Miss Lee?" the driver asked.

"Yes?"

"Please come with me. Mr. Gruffudd will join us shortly."

I was seated gently in the back where champagne waited next to some flowers. Damn it, I was impressed.

The partition went up leaving me in seclusion as we pulled away from the curb. I poured the champagne seeking liquid courage and lifted the flowers to sniff. There was an expensive looking off-white envelope beneath them and I opened it, setting the flowers down.

"You will reveal all to me," I read aloud. This was a turn on as much as it made me feel almost queasy. "Bring the box beneath the seat but do not open it. Ioan."

It was white and wrapped tight with an intricate white bow. One tug and it would open, but he'd know.

"Damn."

We pulled up to a new hotel that the stars favored. The security was great and the bushes high allowing for private moments. Burly security guards with buzz cuts and ex-military posture patrolled the ground keeping the paparazzi at bay.

The driver opened the door and didn't bat an eye as he reached behind me for the roses and laid them on top of the box. He produced a key card with flourish.

"Suite nine oh eight, ma'am. Top floor penthouse."

"Thank you."

I walked inside grateful the well trained staff spared barely a glance at me and no one wondered at the hooker heels before nightfall. There were guests about, quite a few famous faces, but everyone was enjoying their open anonymity for a night.

I stepped into the elevator and a quiet man took me to the top.

There were three suites; 902, 908 and 914 all facing a small common area. I stood in front of my door with trembling hands for several long minutes before sliding the key through.

I felt flustered when it opened, as a card had never before, on the first try.

The suite was dark.

"Put the box on the table next to you." Ioan said commandingly from somewhere I couldn't see.

"What table? I can't see."

"Two feet to your left. Shoulder height, wooden chest with mirror."

I felt for it and slid the box and roses on top of the chest, side by side. "Now what?"

"Open it."

I pulled the ribbon and tossed it with the top on the floor next to the chest. I felt inside and found two straps of cloth.

"What are these?"

"Put the longer one by the roses." I did. "The shorter one is a blindfold. Put it on."

"What? It's so dark, why do I need a blindfold?"

"Put it on."

"Pushy bastard," I muttered and put it on loose. I saw his feet as he stepped to me, his legs were bare, and Ioan slipped behind me.

"I meant tight." He jerked the blindfold so tight I could see nothing. Instantly I felt vulnerable, too vulnerable.

"I don't like this."

"You will. Nice shoes, by the way."

"So what's the game?" I tried to sound aloof but even to my ears I could hear the breathless anticipation. Damn it.

"Follow me." I heard rustling and then his hand was on my arm, guiding me. He flipped on a light and my sight went from pitch to merely black.

"Step down. Stop."

I could feel from the air change I was inside the opening of a large room. There was a little heat, possibly candles. Why candles if I was to be blindfolded? I never realized men might like them as well.

"I do hope you did as asked, Nicky."

"Jerk. I never see you wearing fancy underwear."

His chuckle sounded strange, almost as if it were two in one. "Take off your dress."

I just wanted this over and done with. I tried to not look nervous and jerky so I kept my movements slow and even. The dress untied easily and slipped off just as easily, leaving me in my bra, panties, garter belt and stockings, and killer shoes.

"Very nice."

He was circling me now, his bare feet making no sound as he went, only his voice seemed to move. "I said once you were hiding and I was right. I thought with patience you'd come around, but now I know all too well you only respond to force."

I frowned at that and tried to face him but he moved too fast.

"Tonight you will trust me. I will test your limits and you will love it. If you want to stop, the safety word is 'Arthur'."

"Safety word? Jesus, should I have updated my insurance?"

Again the strange chuckle. And then I felt Ioan's mouth on my collar bone from behind. I had no idea how he did it. I topped him by three inches in the heels and I wondered if he was standing on something.

Ahh, the step. I'd forgotten the step down.

Instinctively my head rolled aside to give him easier access and he nipped me gently. I shivered and my lips parted, feeling him lave the sore spot. He explored my neck so softly I began to wonder about testing my limits.

I moved my hands back to feel his thighs and he pulled away.

"The other scarf is to bind your hands."

"What?" We'd explored bondage very lightly, just to the bed. This felt different.

"Put them together behind your back."

"Ioan-"

"I promise you only pleasure. Do you want to stop before it's even begun?"

With a dark frown I put my hands behind my back. He jerked them into place and secured them with a knot so tight it stopped just short of painful. Without a word he retuned to my neck, the contrast of hard bondage and sweet caresses so poignant it lulled me into submission.

And then his hands began to roam my body. They painfully missed every spot I wanted him to hit and went to more oblique areas; the sides of my breasts but not the nipples; the bend where thigh met torso but not the mons; the small of my back but not my ass.

He splayed his hot hands on my thighs to the tops of my stockings and I moaned. My nipples were rock hard and I was already wet. Damn but he could get to me so fast. It didn't matter how much I hated him, at that moment my body wanted his touch. Desperately.

He smoothed his palms over my body until he reached the breasts. My bra was a balconet so it took barely any pressure to pull the lace beneath my nipples and free them to the cool air. Still it surprised me and my breath hitched.

He massaged them, pulling on the nipples with just the right amount of force. It always surprised me that he still remembered, like no other man ever had. I rolled my head back onto his shoulder and thrust my breasts higher.

"Hmm, like that, do you? You always did have the most responsive breasts I've ever seen."

As he spoke I felt something beyond shocking. I felt his mouth, his breath at my ear, his words being spoken, but a hot mouth fastened on one nipple and began to suck. I froze up.

"W-what's, oh, goin-ng o-on?"

"Relax and enjoy his attentions, my dear. I told you we'd push you to your limits."

"Who the hell are you?" I asked the new man.

"He won't talk and you'll never see him. He's a friend, sexually healthy, and you're still on the IUD. No harm, no foul. Remember you have the power to stop this at any time."

The new man had vastly different technique. Less power more style and his tongue was simply doing the most clever things to my nipple that had ever been devised. He swirled, he stabbed lightly, he rasped long and slow all the while keeping a light suction.

Ioan's hands smoothed down my front until he was at the waistband of my panties. He didn't go beneath he smoothed over. "Jesus she's wet. Feel this."

The new man's hands went inside the panties straight inside me. They were long, very long, and he'd used two right away. I gasped.

"Mmm," he said pulling them out. I felt him rub my own juices on my nipple and then his mouth retuned.

Ioan's fingers replaced his and he knew just how to turn them to rub my g-spot. I felt my legs buckle.

"We should move her to the bed. Carry her."

Mystery man scooped me up in a fireman's carry and I felt sculpted muscles, very sculpted, but a still lean body. There was no doubt that Ioan was in charge and we were helpless pawns.

I was set down on a bed and arranged carefully so my hands weren't too uncomfortable. The bed dipped twice and mystery man was at my shoulder, Ioan between my legs.

Their mouths touched my flesh at the same time and it was incredible. Mystery man suckled my nipples now, lolling me with his style. 

I doubt anyone on earth could give head like Ioan. He teased, he cajoled, and he knew how to read my moans and whimpers perfectly.

He licked and licked and licked and at long last fastened his mouth on my clitoris and sucked. I built up so quickly my voice was breaking.

"Am I allowed to come?"

He broke off and they both chuckled. "So well trained. Yes, my pet, come as you like."

He returned to suckling and I came like fireworks, exploding and crying out until I was hoarse. Then they moved.

"Suck him, Nicky."

"With no hands?"

"Your hands are incredible but your mouth is better."

The cock at my mouth wasn't nearly as thick as Ioan's and still almost soft. I licked it without artifice and sucked it down, sliding my mouth up and down. Mystery man moaned and Ioan chuckled.

"She's amazing. Doesn't do it to please you, she does it because it pleases her."

Another groan. I used my tongue to touch what I could and just enjoyed feeling him grow. He was more forceful and being on the bottom I couldn't stop him. I relaxed my throat and he pushed in, past the gag reflex.

Ioan, I assumed, had been watching us so far and this must have turned him on. I felt the bluntness of his cock enter me swiftly and I started. I flexed around the other cock and he moaned, misinterpreting 

Ioan stopped. "Are you all right?"

God, it sucked, but I lifted my foot and taped twice for "yes." He laughed and started to slide his cock in and out. The laughter stopped as I resumed my sucking. Concentrating on that took all conscious thought from my hips and I was just fucked.

It was wonderful, all ice cold shivers and hot energy radiating from my pussy. Then Ioan did something with his thumb and I exploded yet again.

I came with my mouth around the mystery cock and just as I crested the peak I felt hot cum shooting down my throat. He'd done this before and pulled back so I could control it better. Ioan didn't come.

Mystery man pulled out and I felt him leave the bed. Ioan jerked me down as I swallowed the cum, I couldn't protest. My arms caught on the sheet and pulled painfully. He pulled out to twist my body and rearrange them before settling back comfortably.

He pulled one ankle then the other over his shoulders and slammed back into me. I felt him, so deep, so thick, and cried out. He was brutal, he was fast, and I writhed, twisting my hips to keep him sliding against my g-spot.

I heard his guttural moans and knew he was close, I tensed my muscles up to get me there as well. He jerked my hips off the bed, leaving my ass hanging and stopped for a moment.

I heard something sliding on the floor and mystery man's hands were on my ass cheeks, spreading them. Ioan waited still and then I felt the swipe of a hot tongue over my anus.

I gasped and Ioan sank in. I drove me crazy, thinking his balls slapped against the other man's chin. Did he like it? God, what was wrong with me, to get so fucking hot at that thought? I was a shameless pervert, a whore of the worst kind.

But the tongue moved as did my hips, his hips. I couldn't stop moving, I was so hot, so turned on. It was like I hadn't orgasmed at all and I wanted more. I pumped and he slammed, the mystery man licked all sorts of nerve endings I hadn't known existed.

It was too strong to deny or hold back, I came in the biggest orgasm of my life. I didn't black out this time and felt the pulses thread through my veins, the deep clench of my pussy, the contractions of my womb. I screamed, I heard it this time, and Ioan's grunt of satisfaction almost overshadowed me, but not quite.

I came back down too weak to hold myself up and the two men slid me up the bed. Ioan pulled out and I felt a towel press to me. As soon as I was clean four hands turned me over and I felt wet fingers stroke my ass.

"Wait!"

They stopped. The bed dipped at my head. "Yes?"

Ioan was bent by my ear while mystery man waited.

"Ioan, I can't- I can't do that. I have scar tissue."

"I've seen it. I promise you pleasure if trust me."

"You're too wide."

"I won't start you out. You have the power to end this at any time, do you really want to?"

I could feel myself blushing as I shook my head. The fingers started again and Ioan bent towards my nipples. He was light with his touch, soft and pulling, aware of how sore they were, how much more sensitize after three orgasms.

Suddenly the fingers disappeared and something blunter replaced them. It wasn't a penis, too small, and cool to the touch. I gasped and arched as it worked inside the tight knot of my anus slowly.

I really couldn't say if it was pain or pleasure, but the forbiddeness of the act made me hotter. He screwed it in until I felt what seemed like six inches go inside me. It had to be less but it felt bigger.

Mystery man made a noise and Ioan crawled down.

"Jesus, Nicky, you're tight. What happened?"

"It was twenty-two years ago. It doesn't matter."

"You were six. Jesus!"

"I'd rather not talk about it. This feels all right."

"I don't think we'll get far," he said to the other man. The hands on my hips pulled me to my hands and knees and I felt Ioan slide beneath me. Then I felt a mouth on my pussy larger than Ioan's. He tried to swallow it all in one gulp and created suction that made me jump and moan.

Ioan returned to my nipples and smashed my breasts together, taking both nipples into his mouth at the same time. The lower mouth moved to my clit and sucked hard, making me jerk and gasp again. Just as I adjusted to the suction he began to move the object in my anus. Just twirling it around, I could barely feel it. Then in and out; I felt that.

It was confusing at first but grew pleasurable. And then the object was gone.

His mouth never left me as more lube was applied and an object came at me again. This was bigger and he screwed it in the same as before. It almost hurt but he let it sit so I could get used to it, all the while sucking me off. Again; twirl, twirl, slide in and out. Back and forth. The tension building inside me was different than before, I'd never felt this.

Just as I wanted more the object left. I cried out and heard him mumble something softly. I was moved up and set further on the bed, turned onto my back with my legs spread wide. More lube, another object as big as a penis this time. Screw in, let sit. The mouth on my cunt was now Ioan's, his penis growing harder again against my cheek. I sought it out and he climbed over, letting it dangle down so I could suck it to hardness.

I felt my legs being raised again onto shoulders and the fingers that entered my pussy this time was longer than Ioan's but not as thick. The position made him slide deep and with the object in my ass I felt so full.

One quick pump, two, and then he pulled out. The object was yanked and before I could protest it my juices were smeared down below and it was the cock being screwed into my ass. I moaned and bit my lip. Ioan kissed me, forcing my tongue out, distracting me as I was spread incredibly wide.

At last he was in and sat still, letting me adjust. Ioan pulled away. "How are you doing?"

"All ri-iiiight!" My voice broke as mystery man slid out and back in.

Ioan held me tenderly as my ass was pounded. At first it hurt but soon I felt that curious pleasure radiating out. It was frustrating because I knew I couldn't come without something in my pussy.

The two men seemed to discuss something inaudibly and the other one pulled out.

I was turned with hands until I found myself straddling Ioan. The other man held me aloft, my hands still bound, and Ioan slammed home. I groaned and then felt Ioan's hands holding me closer. My ass was in the air and mystery man straddled it.

I held my breath, couldn't believe what we were doing, but he slid in like he belonged there. I felt so full my body jumped and I knew orgasm was close.

They moved slowly at first in tandem, and it was beyond incredible. I made noises I'd never heard, moaned and gasped and panted, begging for something unnamable. And I could feel their cocks swell, their balls banging against me, and they began to move to their own rhythms.

Ioan held me up while mystery man's chest pressed down on my back, keeping me slick and primed. One of Ioan's hands moved to a breast and pinched the nipple. I felt his cock against the g-spot rubbing, not so much sliding as rubbing and I lost it. I clenched and everything felt resistance, that did it for me.

I didn't think I'd ever felt such a charge, such passion, and I came for what seemed like forever. Twin grunts and I felt the cum flow inside me, more than I'd ever felt, and the orgasm lengthened to madness. When I came down I collapsed, and blacked out.


I came to some time later to discover I wasn't blindfolded and my hands were free. The right one was asleep and I rubbed it as I sat up. The setting sun was blinding me, meaning it had to be only about an hour later.

The room was empty. The white sheets looked like a bear had mauled the bed. The lubricant was sticky slick on the sheets, three dildoes in bright colors were strewn about. My tie and blindfold were on a small shell-colored chair.

My dress was laid on the low dresser and my underwear atop it. In the mirror I saw a woman with wild hair, smeared makeup, and strange eyes. On rubbery legs I walked into the bathroom and washed my face off. My purse was next to the sink and I brushed out my hair, applied scant makeup.

I exited and dressed quickly, not knowing what to do. I felt changed and damn him, Ioan had known. He really had pushed me to the edge and over. Anaïs Nin had once written that abnormal pleasures ruined your taste for normal ones, and I knew she was right. 

Then again, that was right before she fucked her cousin.

My legs were weak; I was sore, but more than that I had crossed a line normal people did not cross. The pleasure had been intense, but at what cost?

Ioan was in the living room. I stopped when I saw him there, in a rumpled suit, collar open, tie in his pocket and holding a highball glass with amber liquid by his fingertips.

I stared at him as he slowly turned to look at me.

"So see you on Sunday?"

He dropped the glass onto the side table with a thud and stood. "You're just going to act nonchalant?" 

He looked dangerous, disheveled and mad. I backed up and cursed the weakness, covering it with a raised chin and a hard tone. "What do you want me to say? Just tell me and I'll do it."




Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 06



He came so close to me our noses almost touched. My breasts certainly hit his chest. "How about thanks? Or go to hell you filthy pervert of a caveman? Something, anything!"

I stepped aside. "All right. Next time, how about banana flavored lube?"

I walked past him, head held high, feeling I was winning at last. Then he grabbed me, jerked me back against him. "Damn it, you loved me once, you were in love with me, and I just made you fuck another man, in ways I doubt you ever thought you would. I'm bastard enough to never tell you who it was, make you always wonder. Say something!"

I threw his hands off me. "Damn it, I do not know what game you are playing. We had a fling, a good one too. But I have a life that doesn't concern you. I tried to walk away and save us a big scene. You're the one with the extortion and the sick games. Don't get angry at me because I don't want to play them!"

"I'm not angry at you," he said evenly and softly.

"What?" It came out harsher than I wanted it to.

"I said I'm not angry at you!" This was a shout and his jaw ticked before his voice softened back down. "I'm angry at me."

"Your issues, your problem."

"You don't have to be such a bitch."

"Oh, original. So Friday or Saturday, jerk?"

His jaw ticked again. "Saturday. Four o'clock. And Nicky?"

I stopped at the door with my hand on the flowers. 

"I will strip you bare and you'll understand me. At long last."

I took the roses and left the key card, shaking my head as I shut the door behind me. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I kept the roses.

I'm an idiot.



Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 07



This chapter of a celebrity story does not contain any references to actual celebrities. It is part of a complete finished novella but is a stand-alone chapter.

Nicky, the narrator, has anal and oral sex with a dominate in this chapter. Those who have followed the series preferring to see a romantic plot may skip this chapter if so desired.

#

Friday the shooting was hectic. I was off set most of the time with the bigger producers, scouting locations and meeting. When I made it to the set Ioan was gone. Fine by me.

But the bastard had his revenge. Every reasonably tall man with a nice body that passed made me wonder; is it him? How horrible. He'd done that to me, made me doubt myself. Or, perhaps, my illusions of myself. 

Bastard.

I still didn't know his game. I think he loved dominating. Maybe he was just a top who found his favorite bottom. No matter what I had to prove to myself that it didn't matter. I had to be free to know I didn't love a man who didn't love me.

"Hello, darling!"

I froze at that voice. "Helen?"

A squeal and then a British admonishment. Danny was with her.

"Helen? Danny? What are you two doing here?"

"Looking for you. Listen darling, I filled Danny in but he has sworn on his mother's Prada bag to not tell."

Danny gave me a bear hug. "Nicky, I can't believe you never said one word. Any chance I can score an interview with the very secretive author?"

"Well, maybe. I wish you would have called." I was nonplussed at their appearance; reeling, really.

"Nonsense, any plans tonight?"

"None, but-"

"Then let's take you out. This is Danny's first trip to Los Angeles, let's show him a good time."

"Jesus, Helen, a good time with you will get us arrested here." And I meant it.

She laughed. "Perfect. I adore American cops, so beefy."

"Um, Helen, you do know the age of consent here is 18, not 16 like back home?"

She laughed and waved me off. "What have you been doing for fun, darling?"

Danny was still wearing a suit, a very nice, very expensive English suit that made him look thin as a needle but stylish. Helen wore a man eater outfit with a little too much purple but it suited her. I felt a feeling of foreboding.

Her hair was a little longer and dyed an impossible shade of red, but other than that she was little changed. Danny was looking even more sharp around the edges, handsome in his leanness but could use more muscle on him.

"Well, I'm a homebody so I'm not so sure where to go."

Helen smiled. "I do."

And that was how we found ourselves at the Golden Dragon. It was in a district that had once housed warehouses for god only knows what. LA didn't make anything or ship it. 

The building looked like it once packed meat, but I knew it didn't, and the alleys near it were wet. The parking was another warehouse and security was high. I saw a few men with assault rifles.

"Helen, what the fuck is this place?" I asked out of the side of my mouth. We were walking down the ramp of the parking warehouse towards the other warehouse with its awning and security guards.

She just pulled three crisp one hundred dollar bills out of her purse and handed them around. "Give this to the man at the door and for chrissake, keep your mouths shut."

Danny and I just looked at each other and took the money. She led us to a covered entry way where three men stood. One had muscles on muscles on muscles, another had an assault rifle, and the third looked like a Quentin Taratino version of a street pimp.

Helen gave him her money and muscles patted her down. 

"Oh Christ," Danny mumbled.

I went next and did the same and Danny followed. Quentin the Pimp opened the door and we stepped into a space between the outer doors and a pair of inner. The outer closed and Helen tried the inner. They didn't open.

"Shit."

"Just wait." She winked at me.

The inner doors opened then and the bass hit us like a wall. Inside were more goons but beyond was like the negative of a Russ Meyer movie.

The band in the corner was comprised of all well built men, playing their instruments wildly and gyrating their hips to the beat. Stages were placed here and there, the main one curtained off, and on the smaller ones men dressed in impossible g-strings ground in cages or around poles.

The waiters were dressed little better and the drinks were flowing. The clientele was ninety percent women and they touched the men in every way. A woman in what appeared to be an actual leather catsuit approached us.

"I need samples."

"Excuse me?"

"Blood."

She had a pouch around her waist and she pulled out alcohol pads and needles. "What the hell?" I asked Helen.

"You'll see."

One by one we were pricked and blood squeezed out. And then she handed us a bill. 

"A thousand dollars!"

"Trust me, it's worth it, Nicky. Danny I'll cover you."

Bewildered and knowing I was probably being watched by CIA cameras at that moment I handed Catwoman my platinum card.

"Okay, what was that about?"

"A thousand bucks to run the world's fastest test. Tells them if you're HIV positive. No one who is works here or patronizes here. They check for all they can with blood tests and the dancers are all tested for everything daily. That's why a thousand. Five hundred is being added per person for unlimited drinks and...insurance."

"Why are we being tested?" Danny dared to ask.

"You'll see."

A man who wore the tiniest scrap of leather I'd ever seen that kept him street legal took us to a table. I looked around the room and realized everyone there was money, most of them famous. 

He took our drink orders and left us alone. Catwoman came next with discrete receipts and syringes. Calmly as you please she drew blood from us and left without a word. 

We drank and talked, ogling the men who circulated, and after three drinks I realized there had to be something in it.

"Helen, I think there's roofies in this!"

"Of course there are. Don't worry, it's just to loosen you up. They won't take any money now and you won't do anything you truly don't want to do."

I should have cared but I felt lighter than air and charged. Hornier than I should have and it seemed everyone in sight was as well. Danny was sporting an impressive erection and not hiding it whatsoever.

An hour later Catwoman found our table with our cards and receipts. "You are all cleared for the auction. Enjoy your stay."

"Auction?" Danny yelled over the music.

"Shh!" Helen waggled her fingers.

Every table was served a round of drinks before the waiters disappeared and the lights turned low. The band turned the music up until my whole body was throbbing with the beat, almost sexual, and the same pull was on every person there.

The lights came up on the main stage and a man stepped out dressed like a high class porno version of a ringmaster.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen!"

Hoots and hollers greeted him from the audience. 

"Tonight we have a wonderful menu, as we have every night. Your fantasies will be paraded before you, all you have to do is pick your sin!"

The music swelled to epic proportions and came down revealing applause. Female waitstaff appeared at the edges of the room, watching the stage and waiting.

Helen leaned in and gave a stage whisper. "When it's done flag a waitress and she'll help you. Make at least three choices so you'll get what you want."

Danny and I nodded like we knew what was happening, and gave each other very unsteady looks.

The emcee stepped aside and the violent pink curtains parted.

A waiter stepped out but now he was dressed in more leather. A loincloth, two bands around his wrists, and matching strappy sandals. The outfit was capped off by a wide lather collar, a scabbard with sword, and a healthy coating of oil.

"Lars here is a genuine Viking raider. He prefers women and only submissives need apply. Lars is twenty nine years old, six foot three inches and seven inches uncut. Ladies, that's Lars."

Nervous giggles as Lars made a turn and stepped back behind the curtain.

The next one out was shorter, black, just as oiled. He wore leather pants and boots, had a whip coiled at his side. 

The emcee quieted the few catcalls. "This is Duman, a slaver from the far east. He prefers men and he likes pain, inflicting it. He loves first timers and knows how to train. He's five feet nine inches, thirty four years old, and eight inches cut. Gentleman, that's Duman."

The next man out was slim, whip chord thin, but strong. He was young and blonde, his hair falling into sky blue eyes. No oil on this one, just shiny pale skin.

"Ladies AND gentlemen, this is Marcus. Marcus is a bisexual twenty year old submissive. He will do what you need to please and likes groups. He is twenty two, six feet tall and eight and a half inches uncut."

Whistles and hoots as Marcus disappeared.

The next man out was an act. Another Catwoman led him on a leash. He was short but barrel like and dressed in criss-crossing straps of leather all leading up to his collar.

"This next man is a seasoned favorite. Alex is twenty seven, five feet seven inches tall, six and a half inches cut, fully bisexual, and a true submissive. He is only for highly experienced tops as he has no pain threshold, and you will have to be the one safeguarding him. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Alex."

The next one was very tall and muscled, his dark hair was cut close to his head and he had stubble. His skin tone and eyes hinted at Samoan or Innuit heritage, but his lean body said there was a whole lotta white in him. He wore simple leather pants and a cocky smile.

"Ladies this is Jamel. Jamel is a fully trained masseuse who knows how to treat women right. He has a tongue stud and knows how to use it. Jamel is six feet two inches, eight inches cut, and twenty seven years old."

Thunderous applause and lots of eager nods. I wondered who would get him.

The next set out was an act as well.

A man and a woman, they were both tall and equal height. Their golden hair, large noses and prominent chins said siblings of Nordic descent. He wore a loincloth and a hard expression, she wore a leather bikini Xena would have been proud of, and a demure expression that screamed sexual vulnerability.

"Ladies and only ladies, this is Freyja and Leif. They are twenty three year old fraternal twins who always work together. Certainly a treat for the discriminating woman they are unique. Leif is a dominant who likes submissive women and Freyja is like Alex, must be topped by a master, which our Leif is. Leif is five ten and seven inches uncut. Freyja is one hundred and thirty pounds, thirty six, twenty three, thirty three. Ladies that's Freyja and Leif."

They disappeared and the next man out wore tight satiny pants and a flowy black shirt with open laces.

"Ladies this is Miguel, our Latin lover. He prefers traditional women who want simple romance and pleasure. He is five feet seven inches tall, thirty years old, and six inches cut. Ladies, that's Miguel."

The next man out was swaggering, long blonde hair and red leather pants with fringe like an eighties rocker. "Gentlemen this is Mark. Mark is a dominant and prefers men. He would like nothing more than an untrained man to introduce to the pleasures of submission." The emcee's voice was low and caressing on that last word.

"Mark is five feet eleven inches, nine inches uncut and thirty seven years old. Gentleman, that's Mark."

The next man was native American, done up in a loincloth and feathers in his long black hair, fake vermillion across his cheekbones. 

"Ladies, this is Crying Wolf. Crying Wolf prefers high spirited women and likes to have women watch him fuck. He'll do groups but only single file. Crying Wolf is five feet ten inches tall, seven and a half inches uncut and thirty two years old."

Loud applause, he was another favorite. I'm guessing there were a lot of exhibitionists in the crowd as well as voyeurs.

The next man was slim and tall, wore black velvet pants and a flowy white top. His skin was alabaster white and the muscles were more or less implied, not sculpted. His face was startling handsome, swimming in a sea of curly black hair.

"Ladies and gentlemen, do you believe in vampires? Because Jean Phillipe will make you believe. He likes groups or singles, but only experienced lovers. Jean Phillippe has remarkable recovery time such as Crying Wolf. He is six feet one inch, nine inches cut and twenty nine years old."

Whistles and an almost standing ovation won a saucy wink and flick of his hips before he went back behind the curtain. The next man out wore chaps and a little thong over boots with spurs. The cowboy hat was extraneous but suited his sun worn blue eyes.

"Ladies this is Luke, a straight thirty six year old cowboy from Oklahoma. He is five feet nine inches, seven inches cut, and prefers less experienced women. He will show you all you need to know."

Smaller applause and more nervous giggles as Luke disappeared. A brunette with oiled muscles and thick chest hair took his place.

"Gentlemen I present to you Alain. Alain is a rare teat. He is a forty two year old bear, six feet four inches tall and eight inches uncut. He is rare because he is a submissive, but only for exhibitionists. He prefers to have women or couples watch while a man, experienced or novice top, dominates him. Gentleman and ladies, that's Alain."

The next man out was Japanese and lean. He had a six pack and wore silk pants that matched his robe. His Kung Fu loungewear flowed, his hair was long and curtained loose to his shoulders highlighting a very handsome face.

"Ladies and gentleman this is Li. Li is bisexual and a dominate. He prefers mixed couples with a bisexual man and is willing to train novice submissives. Couples or singles willing to interact only, please. Li is five feet ten inches tall, twenty five years old and eight inches uncut."

A shiver ran through me as I thought of yesterday. Whoever took Li was sure to have some fun, but I had already sampled that pleasure.

"Ladies and gentlemen, that was Li and next up is Richard."

He was massively tall, dressed much like the first gladiator in a loincloth and strips of leather. His hair was loose to his collar, red, very deep auburn. He was well muscled and the oil was light.

"Richard is thirty nine, six feet seven inches tall, and nine inches cut. He is a straight dominant and likes true submissives but he has an unusual specialty. Ladies, Richard here turns the best slaves into the best masters."

Something shot through me, a spark, and I knew it would be him.

The next selections were equally tempting, but not for me. Blonde twins who were bisexual doms looking for a mixed couple experienced in submission. Brunette identical triplets looking for two or three women to dominate thoroughly. A redheaded Catwoman who dominated women, and a lanky blonde with an easy smile who only did women, and no games. His name was Bill.

I asked the waitress for Richard or Bill, or Li as a last resort. Helen asked for the triplets and to my surprise, Freyja and Leif. Danny asked for Alain, Marcus or Li.

"I didn't know you were bisexual."

He shrugged. "I prefer men but every now and then..."

"So what happens next?" I asked Helen uncomfortably. How many times had I let Danny see me naked or in slinky underwear? Why had he never said anything, and which was worse; that he was or wasn't attracted to me?

"The waitresses go backstage where there are cameras and present your 'offer' to the men and women. They are the ones who get final choice."

"So we tip them, what?"

"Of your five hundred they get one, of your thousand three hundred go for the tests, five hundred to the house, another two hundred to them. Tipping is discretionary and handled in the morning. You get a full night. If you pick two or three they will double or treble the charges to your account."

"Jeeze."

"It's worth it, trust me."

"How do you know about this place?"

"Another author took me here once. It moves time to time so I had to check to find it. It's highly illegal."

"No shit," Danny mumbled.

A Catwoman came to our table and smiled at Danny. "Li has accepted your offer and eagerly awaits. Please follow me." She turned and Danny scrambled to follow, very eager.

"Wow," I watched him go. "I had no idea he likes women."

Helen stubbed out her cigarette. "He's crafty that way. Bet he got you to hang around naked and wear outrageous lingerie. I bet he pulled the old 'I'm gay so let me help you dress' routine."

I didn't respond, feeling like a fool. She laughed.

Another Catwoman moved through the milling people. She smiled to Helen. "Freyja and Leif have accepted your offer and eagerly await. Please follow me."

"Good luck!" Helen winked as she left.

I downed the last of my whiskey and waited. The tables were half empty now as the waitresses came back. After another five uncomfortable minutes my Catwoman came. "Richard has accepted your offer and eagerly awaits. Please follow me."

Surprise surprise, I'd gotten my first choice.

Catwoman led me to the same golden door everyone else had passed through and inside was a long white hall. We walked and walked and walked until the few people in front of us were all in rooms. Mine was the last one.

She opened the door and flipped on the lights to reveal they were gas lamps. It was like the set of an Erroyl Flynn movie. She opened a cabinet and looked inside then back at me. "Size four?"

"Um, yeah."

She nodded and pulled out some straps. "Let me help you get dressed.

"Dressed?"

She nodded. "What size shoes do you wear?"

"Eleven and a half S, or triple A."

She nodded to my shock but left the room while I disrobed. When she came back I was naked and staring at the straps. She set the shoes down and took the straps gently.

"Let me, it's very confusing the first time. These are cleaned professionally every day, I can assure you, as are the rooms after each use."

The straps criss-crossed my body barely concealing what was legally necessary in public. "If he unhooks the back between your shoulder blades, it all comes off," Catwoman explained.

She had me sit on the bench at the table to put the shoes on. Strewn across the rough wooden table were instruments of torture. Well, okay, so the cuffs were fur lined, and the cat-o-nine tails was surprisingly plush. But there were racks and all sorts of thoughts went through my mind, arousing to say the least. I never knew I'd even like the hint of pain.

"Don't stand too long on the heels. They're five inches because Richard likes tall women. Makes it easier, he says. And trust me, doll, he's worth every penny. He'll be here in a moment. I'll be right back."

She left me then.

The heels were killer. I saw a mirror and knew I had never looked so sexy. But the pain was there, and so I kept still.

The outer door opened and Catwoman was back.

"Forgive me, I had something to attend to." She carried a silver tray with many bumps beneath the white sheet covering it.

"Please step to the end of the table."

I did and stepped onto a small wooden block.

"Put your hands by the clasps."

It made me hunch over and my stomach rested on a nice, comfortable fluffy mat. She shackled me and it left my naked ass in the air. I blushed but she moved about clinically, unmoved.

The tray was set down by my head and the sheet whipped off to reveal implements. Something that looked like a syringe with no needle, some tiny c-clamps, a bottle of lubricant, a jar of Vaseline, some bottles of colored oils and some small tins.

"Now we should set some ground rules. Do you like slaps anywhere but your ass?"

"No."

She nodded and checked off something on a clipboard.

"Do you like scratching?"

"Yes." I had to think about it.




Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 07



"So he can leave small welts?"

"Yes."

"Do you like blood drawn?"

"No."

"Do you like name calling?"

"No."

"Do you wish to be addressed by name or as slave?"

"Slave."

"Very good, he'll like that. And have you been trained before?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'll take that as a no. How did you know you were submissive then?"

I sighed. "A lover showed me."

"Ahh, so no professional training. Don't worry. Richard makes the perfect bottoms become the perfect tops. Do you need anything?"

This had to be the weirdest conversation of my life. She was so friendly. "No."

She left and the lights dimmed by an unseen hand. I was made to wait, resting my weight on the fuzzy towel and quivering in the cool air.

Suddenly another door opened and the heavy sound of footsteps coming down the stairs rang out. 

"Now that is a sight for sore eyes." He was Scottish and his voice a deep bass rumble.

I couldn't see him no mater how I twisted my head and he didn't speak again until his voice was right behind me.

"Push you ass a little higher, luv."

The endearment was sweet; the tone was not. I did exactly as ordered.

"Close your eyes."

I did and felt him step to my side. "So you 'ave 'ad some training. Excellent."

Jars clanked and then he stepped behind me. All of a sudden a hard ice-cold phallus was slammed inside me. It was lubed up well but I was still unprepared. It sat inside for a moment, letting me adjust.

God it was huge and rock hard, and felt like pure ice. I whimpered.

"Silence, slave."

I shut up.

He grabbed my hair. "Such a beautiful color, such a perfect length." He wrapped it around his hand and pulled, lifting my head back. At the same time he pulled it out and sank back in.

I don't know what I expected but the fast furious fuck that followed wasn't it. It was good but this wasn't about talent. I tried to fight it, to gain a measure of power, but the brute strength did me in and I came. I made noises; I couldn't help it. And the second I came he pulled out to leave me contracting on empty space.

"You didn't have permission to come."

I swallowed and kept my eyes closed.

"Open your eyes," he said next to my head.

He was still oiled, still incredibly handsome, but the loincloth was gone. Instead he wore leather straps that made a cock ring and a ball harness, it kept his cock pointed outward for ease of use.

"Do not look me in the eyes but quit staring at my cock, slave." His voice was commanding but I think he was flattered.

I looked down and didn't apologize, afraid to speak.

"Tell me now, do you prefer the paddle, the cat, or the whip?"

I eyed them carefully.

"In my hands they are instruments of pleasure. I have a lot of experience, slave. Trust in me as I must trust in you."

"The paddle," I whispered.

He took it in his hands and fondled it suggestively. My eyes were locked to those strong hands as they cradled the leather wrapped paddle. And then he brought it to my shoulder and stroked it down my back.

It was cool and made me shiver.

The first hit was soft and brought my focus sharp. The second stung but felt good. The third hurt, but brought pleasure. And the fourth, the fifth, and the sixth. I lost count.

It stopped hurting and became pure pleasure. And just when I let a moan slip he stopped. He was panting and I was panting when he leaned down to my ear, his body covering mine.

"The submissive is in control. It's about you; your fantasy, your pleasure. I'm responsible for it. I have to trust you to tell me your limits. The only power I have is in denying you your pleasure. And deny it I will."

The paddle was set down and he pulled a leather collar from the table. Lifting my hair aside he wrapped it tight around me so a metal O ring was at my throat. Then I was unshackled and he put the leash on me.

I was shocked, scandalized, but the feeling was blunted. The roofie, I finally realized.

He led me to an X rack in the corner.

"Put your feet here," he ordered. I did and found my legs spread wide.

He tied my hands above my shoulders and secured my leash to the rack. Lastly he shackled my legs.

I kept my eyes low and watched him walk back to the table and pick something up from the tray. He walked back with the c-clamps.

He opened one up idly. "Do you know why the submissives must keep their eyes down? Because it's so easy to lose one's nerve in a staring contest. It can't be about feelings, it must only be about power and pleasure. It's for the peace of mind of the dominant."

He attached one clip to my left nipple and began tightening it, stopping only when I gasped. Then he attached the other until once again I gasped, feeling it straight down to my clit.

His silence spoke volumes as he produced the syringe with no needle. I quivered in anticipation as he brought it to my hips and with thick fingers spread my pussy open. He clamped it down on my cit and I gasped. Then he pulled the plunger back, sucking the little nubbin and I moaned.

"Be quiet, slave."

I bit my lip and felt my hips pump of their own volition. The pleasure and pain mingled mindlessly.

He leaned in close, his hot body almost covering mine, his breath on my ear. "I am watching your body very carefully, the flush on your chest, the quiver of your thighs. Your pleasure is all I want, your fulfillment all I control."

I knew he was teaching me by showing me and what an erotic bargain. When it was over, would he let me dominate him? I'd never had the urge but the thought made me moan. I saw his lips, his knowing smile.

"Silence, slave," he chastised. Punishment was the cat o' nine tails, and in his hands the pain was blunted, the pleasure sharp.

With the sucking pressure on the clit and the pinching on my nipples I was so close to orgasm. He pushed me and pushed me, massaging muscles, teasing flesh. I wasn't allowed to speak, to beg.

At last he walked away and stood at the table. I heard wet sucking sounds and knew he was lubing up. I watched his feet as he walked back and unlocked me.

Leading me by my leash he secured me to a plush bench. I was on my knees, my butt once more in the air. He checked the syringe and the clamps and then I felt a hot liquid on my ass. I whimpered and he spanked me.

I could only shudder on the verge.

He was huge and the progress was slow as he pushed into my ass. Larger than I'd had before I held my breath, not sure if I could take it. When he was halfway in he sank two meaty fingers in my pussy. "Come, now slave."

He moved in and out just twice and I came, sobbing and moaning. The second my brain burst into colors he sank all the way in and the pain was brief. He held me still, letting me adjust as he had with my pussy, and then began to move.

The torture of pleasure was just beginning.

He teased me for what felt like hours that way, pleasing me and punishing me. He made me love pain as I never had, made me hunger for approval, bent me completely to his will. All the while he showed me, taught me, made me memorize how to do this.

When he at long last made me come again it hurt. The pleasure was unimaginable but I didn't pass out. I knew I felt no fear because as the slave, I was actually in control.

And then he unlocked me, handed me the paddle, and let me dominate him.

Finished at last I had never felt so powerful. He left, limping slightly, happy with my tip, his kiss a little stronger than I would have thought. I had pleased him well and never felt better myself.

The woman returned to help me dress and I tipped her too, feeling flush and happy. Outside other patrons gathered to wait for friends. Helen and Danny were soon out looking just as I felt. Vital and flush.

We didn't speak, just left and I drove us to a small diner on the edge of town where we could be alone. We talked about publishing, set an interview date, and at long last Helen went to the bathroom. I asked Danny for help and to my surprise, he was more than willing. It was set.



Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 08



I napped and called Ioan, let him know it was my turn again. He argued at first but I told him if he wanted my body, he had it on my terms. The plan was set for my hotel room and Danny arrived just as planned.

I poured wine and we talked, you never would have guessed what was about to happen. All that I thought we'd need was ready and he looked it over for me. Once more I had him dress me and this time I knew he wanted me, the tension was thick. He didn't hold back, brushing my nipples, my hips as he went, and I enjoyed it.

But he knew the power games in store, knew I was the mistress, and when I asked him to stop he did. I made him strip and returned the favor, though my caresses were much more intense. When he was impressively hard I stopped and dressed him as I wanted. He had a nice body and I knew his well developed and meticulously maintained definition would mesh perfectly with Ioan's smoother muscles.

Still no man tempted me like Ioan and that was why I knew I had to be the boss. I had to protect myself. I still didn't know what his game was, why he was torturing me, but I still loved him. This way I could pleasure him as much as I wanted but I would still be in control.

The hour grew late and I had Daniel wait in the bathroom off the bedroom as agreed. In the front I laid out the blindfold and waited. He entered a minute sooner than expected, eagerly I assumed.

"Hello?"

"Put the blindfold on. It's on the chest next to you."

I waited until the rustling stopped. I approached him then and knew by his smile he'd tied it loose. I stepped around him and tugged it fully over his eyes, yanking it tight. I leaned in close, the bare tops of my breast burst over the corset to brush against his suit jacket.

"Better?" I breathed into his ear. His muscles were rigid against me but from nerves or arousal I didn't know.

"You think you'll do better in charge this time?" He taunted.

Viciously I kicked his knees and he stumbled. I went down with him, crouched over him on his knees. He cursed and I wrestled his arms back.

"Do as I say. The safety word is yellow."

"Yell-"

"Do you really want to stop before the fun's even begun?"

I could feel his anger and prayed it would be easily turned to arousal of another kind. At the jerk of his head I rose and brought him with me. I led him into the living room and peeled his jacket from him. Next came the crisp white shirt, baring his chest, and I paused.

I had never spent that much time on him and here was my chance. Bending my head I captured one small nipple and licked. It pebbled hard and I sucked until he groaned. I nipped the span of chest hair between and took the other one.

When I felt him tremble I let go with my tongue and brushed my fingertips gently over his collar bone and pecs.

"Sit down." I backed him to a chair and when his knees hit he went down.

Kneeling before him I quickly undid his laces and pulled off his shoes and socks. "Stand."

Together we tugged off his pants and underwear until he was naked. He was half swollen and his chest was flushed. Well, well, well, I thought. He likes it; the anticipation, the powerlessness. I understood perfectly what he wanted.

I grazed teeth on his calves, laved the backs of his knees. I trailed kisses up his inner thighs, always careful not to touch his penis. Over his body I moved with unexpected caresses, readying him, focusing just on anticipation. Had he been watching me with those hard eyes I never could have done it.

When he was at three quarters I marched him into the bedroom. Down onto the bed he went as bidden and I straddled him. At first he moaned and his hips shifted to give his rising erection shelter between my thighs but the leather thong was in his way.

I captured one arm and dragged it over his head, bending until my breasts touched his chest.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it feel like?" He snapped into the comfy-cuff nice and easy. I moved to the other arm, my breasts brushing his chin. I felt his heartbeat speed up and knew part of him hated this as much as the other was fascinated.

I secured his feet and he sucked in a breath, bit his lip. I knew he'd been on the verge of protesting but his chin was high. I moved off the bed and grabbed the oil from the bedside.

The first was warm and scented with lotus blossom. I smoothed it over his calf and kneaded. This was to relax him. I moved slowly up one leg, teasing my movements more and more the higher I rose. He moaned when I bypassed his erection for the other leg, skimming down to the ankle and repeating the process.

His stomach muscles jumped beneath my fingers, his shoulders heaved with breath. His arms strained and he reached for my breasts as they drew near. I took pity and lifted one from its confines, offering it to his lips.

"Suck," I ordered.

He did weakly. I slapped the side of his butt and he stiffened. "I said suck!"

He did as I asked and I grew wet under his attentions. Only when I felt in danger of losing control did I pull away. I smoothed his cheek with one hand while the other covered my breast again.

I leaned close to his ear and let my breath tickle him for a moment, delighting in my power to make him shiver.

"Do you prefer Ioan or slave?"

He jerked. "What?"

I spanked him again. "Ioan or slave?"

He swallowed. "What does my mistress prefer?"

I smiled at that, the control in his voice barely concealing a tremor. "Slave it is then, slave."

I smoothed my hands down his body and noticed his erection was flagging, but only somewhat.

I grabbed the next oil and saturated my hands. I rubbed it slightly to warm it and then smoothed both hands down his cock. He jumped at the touch after long minutes of nothing on that piece of flesh.

The more I rubbed the hotter it grew and he moaned. A much clearer droplet formed on the tip and I licked it off, tasting the strawberry of the lotion along with his precum. He moaned and his hands balled into fists as he writhed.

I brought him to the edge and then released his cock.

I wiped my hands on a towel and took the next oil, much thicker, more like a grease. I lubricated one finger thickly and returned to his cock. Taking the tip in my mouth I sucked and when he jerked I put the lubed finger on his anus. Rubbing it around I swirled my tongue in a like manner and slipped inside.

He gasped and I brought my lips off. "Push out now. Trust me," I unwisely added.

He did so after a long moment and my finger was sucked in. I moved it around while I sucked the tip of his cock until I found the walnut like swelling. Pressing on it he groaned louder than I'd ever heard.

I felt his cock swell to epic proportions and I pulled out. The oil went directly onto his anus this time and the phallus. I put his cock back into my mouth, the finger around the anus, this time a small dildo pushed inside.

I made sure the pleasure was swift, killing any protest. I moved it in and out, rubbing the prostate as I went, sucking in rhythm. He grew harder and harder, I felt him about to come, and so I pulled out.

He cried out and that earned him a spank. "Silence, slave! And you do not come until I say you do."

The next dildo was larger and again he bit off a protest. I screwed it in and moved it, feeling him taut and on the edge of orgasm. The plan was to bring him to a screaming climax, in a haze of pleasure where he didn't realize just how debauched he'd been until it was too late.

Whimpering in pleasure every muscle was drawn taut and I felt a keen sense of pride. I leaned back down to whisper to him, "you're mine," to pleasure.

I left the dildo in and stepped from the bed, silently padding to the bathroom and opening the door. I came back with Danny behind me. He'd used his hand to work himself hard and he stopped now, in awe of the sight before him. Ioan Gruffudd spread eagle, tied down with a bright blue dildo sticking out from his ass, his dick smeared with pink lubricant.

I put my finger to my lips and knelt on the bed. Gently prodding I got two pillows under Ioan's lower back so his ass hung there. I sucked his balls slowly, moving the dildo in and out until he was writing.

I pulled it out and he bit his lip.

Stepping off the bed Danny took my place gently, kneeling between his legs. He guided his hard cock into Ioan's ass, just the tip, and I watched, aroused. Before Ioan could process I climbed on and sank my body onto his cock. Danny slid home.

Before he could speak I thrust my nipple into his mouth. "Suck."

I knew he would want the pleasure but not the act and this covered his shame. He sucked and Danny surged, making me feel the swell of his cock. I began to pump then and this time I would deny his pleasure only so long. The point was to let him know even his body's most natural response belonged to me.

We rose and rose until he was begging me to come. Danny froze and I stopped, squeezing him tight until his breathing was calm. Then we went again. I let the arousal build until we were wild. Twisting around I grabbed Danny's hair in my fingers and watched his eyes. He was beautiful as he got closer, almost as beautiful as Ioan.

But I wanted Ioan's shame, and then his pride.

I felt him tighten and Danny gasped. "Not you," I whispered to Danny.

Ioan came with a hoarse shout and Danny grimaced, his whole body holding back. I waited for him to come down and feel Danny hard still, realize he and he alone had come.

We pulled out and I spanked Ioan seven times. "You came without permission. Clean him up," I ordered.

Danny licked the cum from Ioan's body as well as my juices. His eyes slid to mine as he licked the cream I had left. I shuddered and snapped, "Eyes down!"

"Yes, mistress," Danny purred.

I mopped up with a towel and spread the strawberry warming oil over my pussy. Straddling Ioan's chest I brought my pussy to his blushing face. "My slave needs this now, doesn't he?"

His response was barely a whisper. 

"Speak up slave, and maybe you'll be rewarded."

"Yes, mistress." Ioan's tone was fighting mad but I knew he was humiliated. Just as I wanted him.

I turned and bet down as if to sixty nine and sank my pussy onto his face. "Lick me, slave."

Danny watched us with interest. "You, clean up with the washcloth, rinse well."

He cleaned up until his was sterilized and still mostly hard.

"Stand before me," I ordered. Danny did and I brought his cock into my mouth. With just a few flicks and swirls of my tongue he was hard again, an impressive length. 

I was getting too close, Ioan was too good. To retain control I pulled off them both and forced Danny to kneel, making him change places with me.

"Suck him, slave."

Ioan licked his lips, excited I could see from his erection, but unsure.

"You can use the safety word but why stop when there is so much more pleasure for you?"

He opened his mouth.

Danny slid his length in and Ioan chocked, Danny backed out and Ioan froze.

"Run your tongue around the head, taste him. Do to him what you wish I would do to you."

I watched them like that, watched Danny's buttocks bunch and clench as he drew closer. "Mistress!" He called between clenched teeth.

"Finish yourself, slave."

He pulled back and with a few hard strokes brought himself to an explosive climax. His cum shot to the wall, pleasing me greatly. Ioan was already hard.

I leaned down to him. "Your choice. I release you from your bonds to do as I please to my other slave or you remain in bondage to watch as I take him over and over again."

He growled and the choice was made.

"Release him from his bonds but do not let him remove the blindfold."

Danny scurried to do my bidding and Ioan sprang free. He reached for the blindfold and Danny grabbed his arm. Surprised Ioan raised his other hand and felt that Danny was stronger. He was still helpless.

"Suck him," I ordered. Danny bent down and took Ioan's massive cock into his mouth. I had to admit it was poetry, watching a man who knew the equipment inside and out pleasure it. Ioan moaned and slowly his hands buried themselves in Danny's hair.

Jesus I got wet. My clit throbbed and I decided to take care of it. I sat on Ioan's face again and without prodding he accepted me. I gave up some measure of control as I let him do his usual tricks but it was worth it. I came like a freight train but only moaned low and long. Ioan kissed my pussy when I was done the way a man kisses a woman's mouth and I knew.

I knew he loved me too.

I was desperate for space and scrambled off to watch them work. Ioan had that evil smile and so I fetched the dildo. I oiled it up and spread his legs. Moving Danny into a comfortable position and I pressed the dildo in. Screwing it around I got it inside him and he moaned. Wiped that smirk off your face, I thought.

I pulled Danny off. "On your knees." Danny trembled with excitement and I yanked Ioan. He clumsily followed my hands, the dildo still in his ass. I positioned him so his cock pressed at Danny's puckering anus. He gasped.

"Fuck him, slave."

For one breathless moment I thought he wouldn't, knew he had the power, and again he smiled. He knew I knew, the bastard! And then he was pressing in, pressing deep, and Danny moaned.

I let them adjust and as soon as Ioan found his rhythm I grasped the dildo, kept it still so he slid it inside and out. Ioan moaned, Danny moaned, and their pace grew.

"Mistress-"

"May I cum?"

I smiled, knew I had them. "Not yet. Keep moving."

They moaned and jerked, worked together. Danny pinched the tip of his cock, Ioan bit his lip. "Faster, slaves!"

They moved faster and their groans grew pained. "Eyes down!" I hissed at Danny.

I rubbed my clit now, watching them struggle. Sweat gleamed from every pore and they whimpered. I built higher and higher until I was right there. "Come!" I'm sure they heard the orgasm in my voice and they grunted in unison.

They collapsed, bodies spent, sweaty masses.

Ioan didn't fight as I unfurled him and chained his wrists again. Danny rolled off to limp to the bathroom. I took the towel from the bedside and cleaned Ioan up, slowly, stalling. When Danny emerged he was dressed but for an open zipper and wrapped his arms around me.

Without prompting he drew me down to the floor and spread my legs. I gasped but he just held a finger to his mouth and then he was between my legs. His tongue was fast and hard, longer than Ioan's but not as skilled and only drew me close. When I was clawing at his hair and moaning he moved up and slammed his hard cock in me.

I came screaming into his mouth and he pistoned fast. I came down and he still moved hard. I clawed at his clothed back and he moved harder. We came together and it barely lasted before he was out of me, handing me a towel.

I cleaned up and he helped me to my feet. We shared a kiss of regret, regret on my part because I knew I wouldn't fuck him again. There was no one but Ioan, damn him. 

Danny pinched a nipple, mouthed "goodbye" and then walked away.

I turned back to Ioan, waiting until I heard the door close. I slipped Ioan's blindfold off and he leveled his gaze on me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Very brave of you, today."

"Untie me."

"Who said we were done?"

He smiled.

"Eyes down, slave."

I massaged and cajoled until he was hard yet again. It took twenty minutes but it worked. I'd left the blindfold off so he could see my sexy outfit. And when he was hard again I settled onto his cock.

"I did promise to fuck you."

He smiled but kept his eyes down as he slipped inside my warm, wet pussy. I rocked back and forth and slid him ever so slightly out and in. This was for me, my pleasure, his was incidental. I rocked until I built up, scraped my swollen clit on his pubis until I was there, right on the edge.

"Yellow." 



Ioan Gruffudd Ch. 09



Thanks to all the fans of this story line for your time, your comments, your suggestions, and everything else you all did to put a smile on my face. Enjoy!

***

"Very brave of you, today."

"Untie me," Ioan growled.

"Who said we were done?"

He smiled.

"Eyes down, slave."

I massaged and cajoled until he was hard yet again. It took twenty minutes but it worked. I'd left the blindfold off so he could see my sexy outfit. And when he was hard again I settled onto his cock.

"I did promise to fuck you."

He smiled but kept his eyes down as he slipped inside my warm, wet pussy. I rocked back and forth and slid him ever so slightly out and in. This was for me, my pleasure, his was incidental. I rocked until I built up, scraped my swollen clit on his pubis until I was there, right on the edge.

"Yellow."

The safety word; I had to stop. I froze, eyes blinking. He smiled at me and while our eyes held ripped his hands free, proving his bonds had always been by choice. Before I could blink he was over me, pushing deeper. One finger on my clit and his penis pistoning fast. 

I could only clutch at his back as I came, mewling and crying out. I screamed his name, to my shame, and knew he was always the one in control. My master.

When I came down he was still inside me, still hard as a rock, and I felt the wetness of tears on my cheeks.

He moved his free hand from my pussy to wipe at them.

"Why cry?"

"You know why," I said, a little too surly.

"No, I don't."

"Because I never was the top here, you were always in control. I did what I could to bend you to my will and it was yours all along."

"And why would you do that?"

I looked away. "I need to keep you away."

"Why?"

"Damn you! Will you have everything of me?"

He kissed my temple and nudged my chin so I looked back into his eyes. "Everything you have and more."

"I don't want to lose myself."

"You won't."

"Yes, I will."

"Trust me. I want you just the way you are."

"It's not enough, Ioan!"

"Why not?"

"Because I love you, damn it!"

He smiled long and slow, every inch of widening Cheshire grin a stab in my heart.

"You never stopped, did you, Nicky? That's all I needed to hear. I don't want you to ever change, because I love you just the way you are."

I closed my eyes and he didn't force them open. Instead he flexed inside me and pushed in deeper. With his body he told me what I needed to hear; that tomorrow would take care of itself, that what we had could work.

I threw my head back, and gave myself up to the hope that had always scared me, and chose to ride it. 

When he peaked I tumbled as well, and exhaustion claimed us both. He collapsed on me and I found myself trembling.

"Why Nicky? Why the fear, why the games, why did you have to try so hard to push me away?"

I pushed him away then, rolled off the bed, and padded to the bathroom. I showered, blow dried my hair, did everything to stall, but at last, I had to come out.

He was sitting, naked still, but covered in the sheet. All traces of the...day were gone, nothing but Ioan and me in the room.

"I didn't tell you the whole truth."

"About what?"

"Did you bring your car?"

He scooted forward looking puzzled, hopeful, and incredibly handsome. "Yes, why?"

"Get dressed, I want to show you something."

His face showed he wanted to ask a question, but he sensed my urgency as did as said. I dressed quickly as well, thinking about my life.

The last six years I'd been locked away, writing. The press had hounded me before the first book was out, but that story was for the car ride to my hotel room.

My only companions constant in that time had been my characters, Liz and Donovan, whom Ioan was about to bring to life on screen. Then I'd met Helen and Danny, who'd taught me to crave life.

Then I'd met Ioan and Rhys, who'd taught me to love it.

His car was provided by the studio, a white Acura with a ton under the hood and a smooth, purring sound as we headed into the perils of LA traffic.

"I need to get this all out in one go, or I'll lose my nerve, so please, don't interrupt."

"All right."

"I was born an identical twin. Nicolette and Victoria, our mother called us Nicky and Vicky. Unlike many identical twins, we were perfectly identical. Same height, same bones, same eyebrows, both left handed, neither of us knew how to dance, everything the same.

"Oh, our parents never made us dress identically, and we were allowed to develop our own personalities. I loved her more than anything in the world, and she loved me, but there was a rivalry we never outgrew.

"When we were sixteen, she brought Eric home. He was seven years older, too old for her, and our parents were furious. I used to be her alibi when she snuck out, and I would hang around them all the time. I had such a crush on my sister's boyfriend, it was embarrassing.

"My parents caught them when we were just shy of eighteen, and they threatened to send her away. She ran away, with him, and I understood not telling our parents or our brother, but me? It nearly killed me.

"She was gone for almost two years, and she came back pregnant and married. My family refused to speak with her, but I did.

"Eric was teaching again at the University of Minnesota. I transferred there and moved in with them. I was young, and stupid, and I made a horrible mistake. I slept with Eric one night, and Vicky found us.

"There was a bad snowstorm, and she took off, crying hysterically, damning me. She slid off a bridge and died on impact. What they say about twins is true; I felt it, the very instant she died. It felt like a part of me died too.

"My family came, but when Eric got drunk he told them what happened. They blamed me, and I understood. I was young, confused, I wanted to leave, but Eric convinced me to stay. Rent free, all I had to do was help look after my niece.

"I looked like her mother, I looked like his wife. It was a matter of time. We began to have a relationship, and I lost myself. Not the way people say; I truly lost myself. I became Vicky, wearing her clothes, living in her house, sleeping with her husband.

"She'd published a book, at least gotten a deal. They asked me to help with the editing and I did. For marketing they suggested putting it under my name, letting me do her interviews, taking credit.

"I agreed, but I put all the profits into an account for my niece Beth, I was custodian. By then Eric and I were engaged, and some stupid little reporter found out about Vicky and the contract.

"Eric wanted Vicky's money then. I had ended up rewriting almost all the book and didn't take a cent, and he wanted the money. Things were rough by then, Beth was calling me mommy, my family was telling stories to the media, my life wasn't my own.

"I sold my own first book and then Eric and I separated. He sued me, and I won, but at great personal cost. I never got to see Beth again, nor my family. I vowed that day I'd never let anyone get close to me, I'd never risk another chance at losing myself.

"I started to drink and write, and until you came along, that's all I knew."

I took a deep breath as he pulled into my hotel and parked. His hand had been on my thigh for long minutes and I turned to him, shaking inside.

"Nicky, I'd never want anything from you. I won't demand, I won't take, I won't change anything about you. If staying up all night with whiskey and a computer is who you are, that's the woman I love."

My heart ached and I grabbed him and pressed my lips to his. The kiss was gentle, smooth, and I tried to put my feelings into it. His arms slipped around me and pressed me close, the gearshift between us, but that was all.

He pulled back with a smile and stroked my hair back. "Now what do you want to show me?"

***

My hotel room was messy. Clothes were strewn about attesting to how many outfit changes I'd gone through, there were reference and grammar books all over, and I'd left the TV on HBO.

I turned it off and started to looking for the latest printout of the manuscript. "I realized that writing was a strange kind of therapy. My character, the hit woman Liz, was me. The people she killed were my demons, real and imagined. Here it is!"

I produced the giant stack of five hundred pages with flourish and he smiled. "What is that?"

"My latest book. I wrote it here. I want you read this last part."

He sat on the bed as I handed him the pages and swiped his dark hair back, though it refused to obey.

I bit at my cuticles as he read, nervous. No one but Helen or my American editor read these pages before it went to print. 

He was reading the last scene of the series. Liz had just pulled off the impossible; she'd killed herself. That left her free to become Elizabeth again, and she and Donovan could ride off and start fresh.

Not the happy note I'd once thought of ending the series on, but the only note I had in my heart now.

"Nicky, does this mean what I think it does?" He asked quietly when he finished.

I sat next to him and put my trembling hands between my legs to hide the shaking. "I can't ask you to deal with the press. I can't ask you to be patient with my nerves and paranoia. I can't ask anything except you forgive me, and give me a chance."

He dropped the pages to the floor, letting them scatter, and cupped my face. "We've both been asses, but there's nothing to forgive. And if you can handle my hectic schedule and my son who thinks you're the neatest person alive, then there's nothing left to say."

I kissed him, and he leaned me back, and all five hundred pages along with half my wardrobe we thrown to the ground, but I didn't care. I cared for nothing but the second chance life had given me.

At long last I knew the game was over, and we'd both won.