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Everything Looks Better Ch. 01

By: Clunkety



This is a piece of fan-fiction, comprised of 12 chapters, but you need not understand all the intricacies of its fictional world to enjoy. While there are no sexual bits in this chapter, don't fret. There will be.





Everything Looks Better Ch. 01



"How are you fitting in at your new school?"

"Well, they like that I'm Tidus' sister. They're all Duggle fans in this district, so I let them think I've converted from an Abe."

"Survival of the fittest," Auron commented.

"I guess. So are you a big Blitzball fan now?" she asked.

"It passes the time."

"I don't think you ever missed a game of Tidus's."

"It was my job to look after him."

"Well, he did need a male role model," she said, matter of fact. She coldly added, "Shame Jecht didn't drown at sea sooner." 

Half-smiling at her crass, Auron was glad his mouth was safely concealed behind his collar. "He was a better man when I knew him."

"I hope so or I'd tell you to seriously reexamine how you choose your friends."

"Jecht regrets he wasn't a better father." To Tidus, at least. Auron couldn't remember Jecht having remorse about the way he treated Raine.

"Did he say that?"

Auron gave a sideways nod. "In so many words."

"I can just about imagine," she said insipidly.

Auron swung the door open for her, the humidity and smell of chlorine seeping into the hall, as well as a stream of Blitzball fans on their way to the bathrooms and snack vendors. The music was deafening and, in the center of the arena, the regulation-sized sphere rippled gently when it was empty. Raine and Auron squeezed against the grain to the wall by the bleachers, where the flood of people had them temporarily trapped.

"How long are you staying?" She had to shout to be heard.

Auron bent to her ear. "Ten years."

She looked at him weirdly. "I mean, how long are you staying for the game?"

Grunting, he said, "Until the end."

"Maybe I'll see you later." 

Freeing an arm, she chastely hugged him around his high collar, her cool cheek pressing momentarily against his, and he remembered when she used to smell like peanut butter. Now she smelled of hairspray and mint chewing gum. 

When the crowd thinned, Raine joined her pack of cheerleaders at the front of the bleachers, all identically dressed in short skirts and sweaters, and Raine grabbed her white and blue pom-poms from the pile. Noticing how the other cheerleaders warily studied Auron, he indifferently sidestepped through a group of people, up to the adjacent section, and sat in his seat. 

In response to someone's inquiry about Auron, Raine faintly said, "He's a friend of my brother's," before getting in formation.

He watched the halftime show with muted interest. Like the mirage side of a holographic photo, Raine's posture and smile was show-ready, pasted on for the sake of the performance, which was complex and intricately choreographed. Even after the routine when the second half of the game started, as Raine milled around the bleachers waiting for the next goal or tackle-slip and generally keeping alert to the game, her sunny aura and trivial facial expressions and even the way she readily giggled with her friends was different from the way she was around him. She was a chameleon, able to blend into the company she was currently keeping, and he found it difficult to figure her out.

By four points, Raine's team won. As the fans funneled down the bleacher stairs and out the main doors, a boy Raine's age grabbed her from behind, swinging her off her feet. Auron started, halfway out of his seat, seeking her through the crowd, until he heard Raine's screams transition into giggles. The boy's name was stitched into the lapel of his jacket: Jory.

It was Tidus who had warned Auron about Jory. Nothing specifically, just that Tidus had a bad feeling about him and Auron should try to do something about it. Of course, by the time Auron realized how right Tidus was, it was too late to do anything. 

Jory was taller than Auron imagined, with wet, mud-colored hair cut short and a tan that made his whitened teeth appear almost fluorescent. Auron swore Jory's smile literally twinkled as he twirled Raine around in a handsy embrace, which Auron could have done without seeing. Wearing a blue and white letter jacket over his sleek Blitzball uniform, Jory made Auron think of Tidus at that age, but as Jory slipped a possessive arm around Raine's shoulders, looking to his jock friends in the bleachers for their leers of approval, Auron's eye squinted shrewdly behind his sunglasses.

Jory was nothing like Tidus.



Everything Looks Better Ch. 02



Room 4, Rin's Travel Agency, Macalania 

The water tasted swampy, Raine realized, smacking on the tap's aftertaste as she peered into the glass. Swallowing with a grimace, she dumped the rest down the drain and set the cup on the aqua tiled counter next to the bathroom's rust-stained stone basin. Zanarkand's water tasted clean and sweet, surely the product of a higher grade filtration system, and Raine felt a stitch of guilt. She wasn't in Zanarkand anymore and the Travel Agency in the middle of Rural, Nowhere was only doing the best it could. Refusing to be a water snob, she made another attempt, filling the glass with a few swallows and downed them hastily, overlooking the faint sewer tang. 

Combing her fingers through her bangs, she twisted her lips reproachfully at her reflection. Her hair had gotten shorter and straighter over the years and this morning it had been so pretty, fun, with loose curls and a lavender moon flower in her ear, but now it was flat and separated and needed a brushing. Unfortunately, she hadn't the luxury of packing a bag before Auron pitched her into the portal, but she did have one thing that would help. 

She shuffled over to the toilet and set the lid down, bracing a bare foot on the top as she gathered up the material of her wedding dress to her thigh. She pried the lace and ribbon garter down her leg. Raine thought her husband would be taking it off her, now it was her new cute hair tie. By design, her hair was just long enough to collect in a tiny thatch at the base of her head, like a blonde shoe-shine brush. That was her only stipulation to her hair dresser in Zanarkand: she had to be able to pull it back. 

"Raine?" 

Auron. 

"In here," Raine called. After a final inspection in the etched mirror over the sink, Raine swung the bathroom door wider. 

Auron was standing by the wood-carved table in the center of the room, sifting through an open suitcase. Raine could see it was full of mostly clothes, arbitrarily folded. 

She roamed around the room uneasily, her arms folded together for lack of anywhere else to put them, pausing here and there to inspect some quaint detail. The profile of a yellow lion was weaved into the fabric of a crimson banner hanging over the bed's headboard. There were handmade glass vases on the dresser and the antique lamp on the stand by the bed had been rewired with machina. She was looking through water, the strange weightlessness of déjà vu overwhelming her until she realized she'd been staring unthinkingly at a framed notice on the wall, written in another language. Was it the same language on the signs outside? Probably, but chances are it didn't say anything extraordinary. Likely just fire drill instructions or the house rules, like no loud noises after 10 o'clock or how pets were not allowed. Could Auron read it? Could he speak it? Gosh, she'd known him almost all her life and she didn't know if he spoke another language. 

Floating over to the window, where gold tasseled pull-backs draped away emerald velvet curtains to let in pale blue winter light, Raine observed as a trio of men approached the Travel Agency from the opposite way she and Auron had come, walking along the snow shoveled path in waterproof boots with fur trim. They were more suitably dressed than Raine and Auron had been on their arrival. One was wearing long green robes with flowy sleeves, holding a staff with a strange gold pinwheel at one end. The other two wore heavier, sturdier garments, belts, gauntlets and swords at their sides. One had a shield shaped like a star attached to his forearm. 

"Raine?" 

Coming back inside, Raine blinked at Auron. She'd been aware he'd been busily moving around the room, but she hadn't been paying attention to what he was doing. Now, he was sitting barefoot on a stool at the table, leaning an ankle on his knee, unfolding a pair of dry socks. His feet were blindingly white, the nails clear and closely cropped. 

"You're all right?" he asked sternly. 

Numbly, she nodded, and meandered off to another part of the room she found interesting. She had always believed Auron when he talked about Spira, his home, but bizarrely believed it less now that she was here. 

Had the man outside been a Summoner, too? If so, he had two Guardians. Did that mean two Guardians were better than one? Raine understood Yuna had several Guardians. Was her chance of beating Sin less, since she only had Auron? If she did manage to beat Sin with only one Guardian, would she be treated differently? It was unlikely she would be in Spira long enough for that kind of popularity, since she planned on returning to Zanarkand as soon as she could. 

But something slimy and cold hit her behind the breastbone when she realized Sin had been a part of the portal. No Sin, no portal. Auron didn't mention she would have to leave her loved ones behind, not that there were many she would miss: Great Aunt Naya, Colton from work...Jory. Most of the ties she made were loosely bound, a simple, shoelace knot that could be easily unraveled with a single tug when it was time to move on. 

Still, she gave Auron a sour look just for the principle of it, but he was too busy slipping on fresh socks to see it. Auron had an iceberg of knowledge, but he only chose to show her the tip. 

Time slid away from her and for a few minutes she was a figurine, wearing a bedraggled wedding dress in the middle of an otherworldly motel, absently watching Auron. Not much time went by, she realized, just enough for Auron to put on both boots, tuck in the legs of his pants and have one tied up, but by the time she was aware of herself again, he had stopped in the middle of lacing the other. 

"You're sure you're okay?" he asked again. 

She stared at him a few beats, uncomprehending, and when she spoke, the words coming out seemed not her own. "I—I've never seen your feet before." 

Nimbly, he finished lacing up his boots, without taking his eye off her, tilting his head, bemused. "And?" 

Gently sinking onto the beaded coverlet adorning the bed, she gave his boots a humorless expression. "They're veiny." 

"Hmph." 

By now, she had learned what his grunts and mumbles meant. This one in particular meant: Interesting. 

"I can't believe you walked across the snow fields wearing just your socks. You'll get frostbite." 

"I've had frost bite. This isn't it." 

She nodded vaguely, mind afloat again, thinking of other things, snapping back suddenly when something occurred to her. Auron had approached the dresser, transferring the clothes from the suitcase to a drawer, but she didn't remember him even getting up. 

"Rin called you Sir Auron," she remarked. 

"Hm," he said affirmatively. 

"Why?" 

"Complimentary title." 

"For beating Sin?" 

"Hm." 

Twice. Auron beat Sin twice. Maybe that was why the Summoner in the green robes outside had two Guardians. They were less experienced. "Should I be calling you Sir?" 

Auron scowled. "Please don't." 

Stifling a smile, she knew already she'd be calling him Sir, just to aggravate him. 

"Will I get a title for beating Sin?" 

Hands buried in the suitcase, Auron hesitated for a nanosecond, so quick it was barely noticeable. "They will call you High Summoner Raine." 

"Nice ring." 

Auron replied with a slam of dresser drawer and the colored vases tinkled together as they wobbled. To her, he tossed some clothes from the suitcase. "You'll have to change." 

The tunic was short-sleeved, bright blue with beads embroidered at the neckline and the trousers were tan, straight-legged and made of thin linen. She looked at them with mild interest, checking the sizes first and nodding her approval. At least they were clean and smelled freshly laundered, which was how Raine knew they were used, but it wasn't the first thing she'd claimed second-hand and it wouldn't be the last. "Auron, it's 20 degrees out there. These pants have less protection than my dress." 

His eyebrows knit together over his sunglasses, two lines forming readily between his eyes. "Trust me." 

"Who bought them?" 

Auron raised his chin, loosely offended. "I did." 

She tried to picture Auron at a clothing store, picking through the stock, guessing at sizes, coordinating colors...the image simply wouldn't coalesce in her brain. "With your vision, I'm surprised they don't all clash," she said dryly. 

He straightened his posture at her, raising an eyebrow, but she didn't apologize. The skin around his sunglasses crinkled and she knew he was smiling under his belted collar. 

"Are you back?" 

She grinned, bewildered. "Back?" 

"Sin's toxin has a muddling reputation." 

"So does switching worlds," she muttered. 

"Good point." 

He bent to pick up his cloak from the bed, sliding his arms into the sleeves. It was made of tightly woven cotton and silk and dyed red with navy satin trim and gold stitching. He reached for something on the table, something she hadn't noticed before, and clipped it to his belt with a beaded rope. When he turned, a bone-white, stoneware jug swayed weightily on his hip and she could read the single word painted in a dark glaze on the side: "Nog." Whatever that meant. 

As he clasped the belt on his great coat, his sunglasses rested on her. "We don't have all day." 

"I know." She glanced reticently down at her dress. "But I can't reach the back." 

Approaching her dutifully, he turned his palm up and bent his fingers twice to get her to stand up. She did, showing him her back. 

"It's a zipper," she said, hoping to relieve the swell of tension as Auron assessed her garment. 

"I see that," he mumbled and added, "Nice hair band." 

She'd forgotten all about it and automatically touched the lace at the back of her head. "It's all I had." 

"Hmph." 

Suspiciously, her eyes darted back and forth across the bed, unable to interpret his grunt accurately. Did he mean Interesting again, or was he saying it disapprovingly? 

Pinching the fabric at her neckline, he unzipped her charily. She was sucking in, holding her breath, the teeth of the zipper splitting, and she waited to see how far down he would go. She never had to ask him to do this before; any dresses she owned at home fastened at the waist. Of course, she expected to take her wedding dress off at some point, but under amatory circumstances. 

"Can you reach it from there?" 

Raine wrenched her arm behind her, the tips of her fingers touching the metal closure, which was centered between her shoulder blades. Inexplicably embarrassed, Raine's face flooded with heat. "Thanks," she said tersely and felt the need to quickly dart into the bathroom and close the door. Unfastening the dress the rest of the way, she jumped out of it, but was greeted with more discomfiture: the underwear she had on was new and white and pretty. Again, not how she expected her wedding day to end. 

Handling her dress delicately, she swung it over the shower rod to keep it off the floor as she dressed, even though she'd just spent half the morning stomping through wet snow fields, constantly tripping on the hem in Auron's dirty, oversized boots. 

When she was done, she carried her wedding dress into the main room like a lover. Auron was still emptying the suitcase, filling up a second drawer. In the closet to her right, Raine looked for a hanger, but the rod was placed too low for the length of her dress, so she hooked the hanger over the top of the door instead. Arranged at the foot of the bed where she would see it was a long, warm coat, stitched from the tanned hide of some animal, and on the floor next to it, a pair of small boots. 

"Are we going somewhere?" Raine asked. 

Auron was unpacking the last few articles from the suitcase, just wads of fabric in his hands as he chucked them into the drawer. "Macalania Woods." 

"What's there?" 

"Fiends." 

"Oh, right. My preparation," she said. She meant it as a jibe to his earlier choice of words, but it came out bitter. She sat on the bed and inspected the boots before inserting her feet into them. They had high arches to better support the shape of her feet and they showed signs of light wear on the soles; also used. 

"We have a lot of work to do before you're up to speed." 

"With the other Summoners?" Raine remembered the threesome from the window. 

"If they're new. Some will be giving the pilgrimage a second try. Some even a third." 

"How can I compete with that kind of experience?" 

"Experienced Summoners are not necessarily the bravest," he murmured, securing the front clasps on the suitcase. "The last two Calms were prompted by brand new Summoners. Remember that." 

She nodded with resolve and felt like she should be taking notes. 

Auron carried the suitcase to the closet, where he gave the wedding dress a perturbed look before swinging open the door and stuffing the luggage somewhere in the back. Without hesitation, he also snatched the dress and shoved it into the closet, kicking the overlong hem inside so he could close the door without catching the material in the hinges. Raine's face fell, offended, wounded, like he'd just struck her puppy, but she lowered her head and fixated on lacing her boots, pretending she hadn't witnessed him handling her dress so gruffly. 

Downstairs, Rin was unpacking a new box of flasks for display on a rotating wooden rack, quickly dispensing the last couple when he saw Raine and Auron descending the stairs. 

Auron advanced to the counter and Raine hovered inconspicuously behind him to discourage Rin's small talk. Auron told her never to disclose she was from Zanarkand. 

Disposing of the empty flask box, Rin hurried to his workstation, snatching a folded sheet of paper from a small wooden crate Raine only now noticed was waiting on the counter. Unfolding the invoice, Rin slipped on his bifocals. 

"Let's see...7 potions, 2 antidotes, 1 phoenix down, 1 Enchanted Rod, 1 Nultide Ring and 1 Seeker's Bracer. Sound right?" 

"There should be one more item," Auron said, absently touching the straps on the front of his collar with his gauntlet. 

"Oh, yes, here. One book: The Teachings of Yevon. It's here," Rin said, leaning back slightly to peer behind the counter. He found it, slammed it down. It was as thick as a club sandwich. "Volume 4. The sending works," he said with an emphasis Raine didn't understand at first, as he gave Auron a significant glance over the tops of his glasses. Of course, Auron didn't respond and Raine was secretly glad. Auron often left lingering holes in place of replies, where uncomfortable silences stewed, allowing conversation to simmer when he should be helping to stir. He seemed better at it now, at least with her. 

Raine rotated the book to better see the cover. She couldn't read the title and when she opened it to a random page, she shook her head. "What is this? Summoning for Dummies?" 

Rin let loose a surprised laugh, immediately choking it with a clear of his throat when he glanced at Auron, and then busied himself with something behind the counter. 

Auron hardened, pursing his lips and Raine imagined he was rolling his eyes behind those cryptic glasses as he collected the ampoules in the bottom of the crate and stuffed them in various small pockets in his cloak. 

Producing a staff from a shelf behind his counter, Rin handed it to Raine and she started to take it with both hands, but Auron grabbed it first. It was almost like the one the Summoner in the green robes outside had been carrying, except this one had three teardrops angled in a circle, like peacock feathers, for its top symbol. The long handle was blue and red, faded at the places where it was held the most and dangling at the end was a tiny spherical charm. While Auron scrutinized it from all angles, apparently checking to see if the handle was straight and testing the weight, he didn't notice Rin sliding the Nultide Ring across his workstation and wink at Raine conspiratorially. 

Set in the prongs was an elaborate emblem that glowed bluish and seemed to pulse in her fingers when she picked it up. She held out her left hand to put it on, froze momentarily when she saw her wedding ring and started to slide it on her middle finger instead. Rin reached over to stop her, indicating to her right hand. 

"It will work better on the other hand," Rin said and added in a whisper, "Less interference from the wedding band." 

Raine grinned covertly and slipped the ring on her right ring-finger. It seemed a little big and the only thing keeping it from sliding off her finger was her knuckle. 

Seemingly satisfied with the craftsmanship, Auron nodded at her and she gripped the Enchanted Rod awkwardly. Despite the magical nature of its name, it was actually quite cumbrous and the top symbol made it extremely heavy. Auron was clamping the bracer on his forearm as Raine experimented with the staff's balance, when the bell over the door rang. Auron peered back over his shoulder and it shocked Raine when he cursed under his breath. 

"Sir Auron," said a woman with a superior inflection. 

An attractively exotic woman in her early thirties blocked the door, hand on her bare waist, her eyes flaring across the store at Auron. She wore a beautifully gleaming grey fur cape over an ensemble that was not nearly enough for the climate: little more than a bikini with strips of cloth at her hips, laced together with string and purple sleeves without shoulders. Even Raine had a hard time keeping her eyes up. Her dark hair was pulled up in a loose bun, a tendril of curled hair tumbling down her neck. Closing the door, a large man wearing a brown winter coat buttoned to his thick neck stood at attention behind her. He had a flat face, except for a protruding shelf of forehead, dim eyes and a permanent scowl, but he was still handsome in a jock sort of way. 

"Macalania Temple already?" she asked Auron skeptically and her heeled boots clacked formidably across the floor. The man shadowed dutifully. 

Raine found herself drifting over to the display shelves before they could take notice of her. 

"I didn't even know you had joined a pilgrimage," she said. 

"Just passing through," Auron said coolly, nodding politely to the large man, extending his gauntlet hand to give him a firm, even shake, the mutually reverent greeting of two Guardians. "Barthello." 

"Sir Auron," Barthello said, his nod dipping further, almost bowing to Auron, and the woman glanced snidely around the store during the exchange. 

Raine ducked further behind the rack, her eyes glazing over the inventory: corked ampoules, arranged by color, labeled with prices. She recognized the green tinted ones; Auron had given it to her to drink once, glossing over its contents with a sardonic comment about how she consumed it without asking what was in it first. According to the shelf tag, it was vaguely called "potion." How scientific. 

"I believe this is the first time I've seen you without a Summoner during Sin season," the woman said. 

"Oh, she's around here somewhere," Rin sang. 

Oh, Rin, shut-up! Raine thought intensely. 

"So you are on a pilgrimage," the woman said mordaciously. 

Prickling, Raine stayed hidden behind the shelves, feigning interest in something generically called "remedy," as she heard the sandy grate of a boot on the tiled floor. She didn't want to meet Auron's friends. Too much pressure. Meeting Rin was already enough for one day. 

As the woman's boots clicked dauntingly across the floor again, Raine panicked, picked up a container of something purple to blend in, to make it seem like she belonged there and that she wasn't eavesdropping, just as the barely clad woman rounded the display. Up close, a diamond gem centered on her forehead glinted in the light. 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 02



She crossed her arms with an arrogant raise of her nose, appraising Raine's second hand clothes and used boots in a way that made Raine wonder if she still had a tag sticking out somewhere, but she resisted the urge to look for it. "This is your Summoner?" 

"Good morning," Raine greeted with a practiced smile, putting away the purple ampoule and subtly keeping her wedding ring at her side to avoid awkward questions. "My name is Raine, and you are—?" 

"Summoner Dona," she said, giving the impression Raine should already know this. 

"Dona, it's so nice to meet you. I've never met any of Auron's...Sir Auron's friends." She flicked her eyes obliquely to Auron, but he was making no attempt at saving her. 

"Friends?" she barked sarcastically. "You give Sir Auron too much credit." 

Raine held tight to the spark in her smile, despite the slight against her Guardian. 

"I would be a fool not to get a glimpse of Sir Auron's Summoner before it's too late." 

Too late? What was that supposed to mean? Raine wanted to ask, but she didn't want to appear too ignorant in front of everyone. 

"He is a lucky relic for Summoners, it seems. Or unlucky, depending how you look at it." 

"Why's that?" Raine blurted. 

From the corner of Raine's eye, Auron's posture stiffened and the room felt sweltering despite all the cold air Dona had let in a few minutes ago. Raine could feel a pressure in the room, like she had committed a faux pas and nobody wanted to correct her, and she pretended to be very interested in some invisible detail of her Enchanted Rod. 

Dona dropped her almond eyes blankly to Raine for a moment before she slowly narrowed them. Raine could see her mind working. "Where did you say you were from again?" 

"I didn't," Raine said. 

"Hmm, I see." She peered back at Auron briefly and muttered, "Sir Auron has a habit of picking up strays for his pilgrimages. They've all had the same fish-out-of-water look you have." She gave Raine another disdained look before walking away. "Let's go Barthello." 

Raine waited for her to pass by before stepping forward to Auron, who was leisurely walking towards her, shaking his head at her. 

"I don't think she likes me," Raine said dimly. 

"I don't think you care." 

Looking towards the stairs after them, Barthello nipping at Dona's heels, Raine wondered if that was how Auron looked following her. "Are they married?" 

"I don't know." 

"They love each other." 

Auron's head skewed very slightly. "How can you tell?" 

"Barthello scowls a little less when he looks at her." 

Auron looked thoughtfully in the direction of the stairs. 

Raine pinched her chin. "They aren't having sex, though." 

His glasses flew back to her. "Raine." 

"How else do you explain why's she's such a bitch?" 

From behind the counter, Rin snorted and excused himself as he leaned over his bookwork. 

A-West, Zanarkand 

Her mother's funeral had been a dismal day; over the Zanarkand skyline, a sheet of leaden clouds threatened rain. There was a small turnout. Some of her mother's friends from work made an appearance and a few relatives Raine didn't know. None of her friends from school came for support, but she supposed it didn't matter. She'd be switching to C-South soon anyway. 

She was allowed to stand at the front, nearest the grave, as was Tidus, who stared bleakly at the coffin with red rimmed eyes. The priest recited prayers, sprinkling in the morsels of her mother's personality Tidus had relinquished to him prior to this charade. It made the funeral seem intimate, but Raine knew better. Her mother wasn't religious and neither was Raine or Tidus and the priest had never met her mother while she was alive, but society mandated these silly rituals so the living could more easily mourn. 

Mourn. Is that what was happening here? As far as Raine could tell, only Tidus was mourning. There was a supervisor from her mother's work that was sniffling a little, probably more concerned with covering the shifts her mother wasn't able to work now, but everyone else was standing still, occasionally looking at their watches, wondering when the food will be served so they could go home and get out of their uncomfortable black clothes. They were here out of obligation, not to mourn. 

Raine had done her mourning already, in the privacy of her room, so that she wouldn't have to do it in front of all these strangers, who would only pity her. She could see the looks they gave Tidus, those gentle expressions of sympathy, if they looked at him at all with his display of emotion. Apparently, Raine and Tidus were not a strong enough line to keep their mother tethered to this world. 

Making some off-hand remark about her mother juggling in the Farplane, the priest paused to allow the "grievers" some response time and Raine suppressed a smile, ignored Tidus' incredulous look. Raine had given the priest that nugget of pure comical genius while Tidus was blowing his nose in the bathroom. Raine glimpsed back to see the reaction of her mother's co-workers, and her eyes were immediately drawn to the bright red of Auron's cloak, a splash of color in a pool of black. His sunglasses reflected the grey of the overcast. 

Facing the front, Raine firmly nudged Tidus in the ribs. "Auron's here." 

"Where?" Tidus rapidly swiped at a big, fat tear streaking down his tan cheek, but didn't turn around. He wouldn't want his mentor to see him crying. 

"In the back. Great Aunt Naya is giving his sword dubious looks." 

"Stop calling it a sword. It's a katana." 

The priest stopped in mid-sentence, long enough to stifle Tidus and Raine. 

Raine waited until the shock of seeing Auron wore off before daring another look over her shoulder, but he was gone. 

Had he even been there, or did she imagine him? 

No, there he was, heading for the gate. 

"He's leaving," Raine said softly, without moving her lips, keeping her eyes straight ahead so the priest couldn't detect she was talking. 

"You'd better run if you want to give your boyfriend a kiss before he leaves," Tidus murmured around a smart smirk. 

"Tidus!" Raine hissed. 

Scanning the people behind them, Raine was sure every one of them had heard what her brother said, positive they were all laughing at her, but they were standing stoic and serious to the front, their stares empty. Some almost made eye contact with her, their faces starting to soften in pity, but Raine faced forward before they could engage her. Tidus couldn't resist teasing her, even at their mother's funeral, even if it was only to distract himself from his grief. Raine admitted she had had a crush on Auron when she was little, but she let that go when she could no longer bear the humiliating idea Tidus might eventually tell him. Tidus would do it, too, just to mortify her, just to watch her red-faced and squirming around Auron. 

On more than one occasion, when their usual babysitter had cancelled or was unavailable on nights her mother had to work, Auron would step in. Raine remembered how authoritative he was towards Tidus. He was gentler to Raine, but when Raine thought back on it, she realized he was actually being distant. Tidus was a real shithead to their mother sometimes, especially after their father disappeared, and Raine was no better with Tidus there to instigate it all, but around Auron, Tidus was on his best behavior and Raine usually followed suit. Bath-time was unsupervised and they got into pajamas and brushed their teeth without being told. There was no story-time and Raine made doubly sure she'd peed and taken her drinks of water before bed because there was no getting out of bed once they were there. Auron spent the rest of the night on the porch, sitting alert on the step and once in a while he'd get up to stretch his legs and patrol the yard before returning to his post at the front door. 

"Crybaby," Raine muttered. 

"Brainy Rainy," he shot back. 

Once, the names used to sting, especially in the heat of sibling rivalry, but now the insults slid off each other like water off a chocobo's back. 

Before she could stop herself, Raine left the ceremony and jogged after the blaze of red crossing the gloom of the graveyard, her first pair of heels sinking into the lawn, hindering her progress, but she was adamant not to lose him. She took off her shoes and carried them the rest of the way. 

"Auron," she called, snagging him with her voice before he cleared the gate. A wind was flapping the bottom hem of his red cloak around his brown breeches and tousling the flashes of grey in his thick brown hair. When he spun around, Raine noticed his vague look of disappointment. She ignored it. Dropping to a granite bench, she fumbled with her shoes. "You came." 

"I was concerned." 

"About what?" she said stupidly, forcing her feet back into her heels. When Auron didn't answer, she figured it out. "Oh. Tidus." She said his name tartly. 

Auron always wanted to know where Tidus was. He was always taking Tidus aside for little discussions, bringing him to places Raine wasn't allowed to go because it was "too dangerous." 

"And you," he said, but it was without conviction and Raine didn't believe him. 

"Come sit," she invited. 

Auron gazed over to the street, giving the elusive impression he had someplace else to be. It was a look he used to give right before giving her mother some excuse as to why he couldn't stay for dinner or why he couldn't join them for a family outing. Raine didn't have any immediate uncles, unless Great-Uncle Cetan counted, but she'd only met him today for the first time. Auron was probably as close to an uncle as she would ever get. 

She patted the cold granite. "Just for a minute." 

After a brief internal struggle, he sat at the far end of the bench with slumped posture, resting his elbow on his knee. At least she would be safe from any looks of sympathy with Auron. 

"Don't you hate funerals?" she asked him. 

"They aren't my favorite," he agreed. 

"Mine either." She was still fussing with her shoes. "Everyone will forget her in three days. So pointless." 

"On the contrary. For instance, I learned what an avid juggler your mother is," Auron said humorlessly. 

Raine gasped, but her smile cut short when Auron lifted a chiding eyebrow over his good eye. 

"Oh, come on. That was funny. No one knows her well enough to tell the difference anyway. Most people don't even know how she died, although my great-aunt Naya says she died of a broken heart. How stupid is that?" 

"You should take funerals more seriously," he said, diplomatically curving the conversation. 

"Why should I? When I die, I want everyone to have a party." 

"Hmph. Telling the priest lies about your mother is immature." 

A stab of shame sidetracked her for a long moment and she was unable to shake the realization Auron thought she was juvenile. It made her want to cry for no reason. 

"I'm surprised you didn't enlist the services of a Summoner," Auron said. 

"Oh, yeah, they couldn't come." She grinned. "Too busy playing with Aeons in the Farplane with the fairies and unicorns and little green men who hide gold." 

Auron glowered at her and she grimaced apologetically. 

"Sorry. I forgot you take that stuff seriously." 

"You're not afraid your mother will become an unsent?" 

"I don't believe in zombies, either." 

As he lowered his face, Raine swore she saw a ghost of a smile over his collar. "You don't believe in the Farplane, then?" he asked. 

"I'll believe it when I see it." 

He gave a yielding, sideways nod as if to say "Fair enough," but the hair rose on the back of her neck as she realized the gesture could also mean "Maybe someday." 

His arm was tucked into the front of his cloak, like usual, with only his hand slinging out. She remembered when she was little, she used to make him take his hand out, and he did, so he could grudgingly participate in her games. She wondered fleetingly if he would be as benign about it now. 

He turned his head a degree, as though he was looking at her with his missing eye. Occasionally, it piqued her interest, as though seeing it for the first time, but then she would forget it was there again until the next time. "Have you made living arrangements?" 

"My uncle Cetan and aunt Naya are letting us stay with them. Until I finish school." Tidus was moving into their father's old houseboat at the end of the school year. He would start the next Blitzball season as the Zanarkand Abe's new rookie. 

Auron's acknowledging nod was far away, distractedly rubbing his hands together and Raine could hear the scrape of his callouses. "They will keep you safe." 

Something about the way he questioned her safety make her scalp prickle. "They live in C-South, though." 

Auron made no effort to query about C-South. 

"That's the Duggles' district," Raine went on. "Tidus says they play dirty." 

"You should spend more time with your brother." 

Raine made a face. "Why?" 

Auron didn't say and the silence went uncomfortable fast. Raine rushed to fill it. 

"I'm really glad you came. Not any of my friends came, not even my best friend. I mean, she said she was coming, but then this morning she said she can't come because her mother said she has to be there for family portraits, but that's not until later this afternoon and—" 

Auron's sunglasses were aimed at the street again. 

"I'm sorry," she said, voice oozing with acid, "Am I boring you?" 

"Indubitably," he said without hesitation. 

Raine blinked. She wasn't even sure what indubitably meant, but it didn't sound very nice. Dejected, she realized why he looked so disappointed when he looked at her. He didn't want her to see him today. He didn't really even want to talk to her. 

Raine decided to change the subject. "Does it hurt?" 

He looked her straight on. "Does what hurt?" 

Before she could think of what she was doing, Raine's hand was migrating curiously to his scar. Auron's gauntlet shot out of nowhere, squeezing her wrist until it pinched. She yelped in surprise and immediately wriggled to free her hand. 

"Sorry," he grumbled and released her. 

"No, I'm sorry," she whispered. Humiliated for her rudeness, she stared down at her trembling hand as she massaged her wrist, tears welling. She wasn't hurt, except for her feelings, and the sting of rejection was unbearable after the exhaustive day she was having. Her hand flew up to smother a sob and she jumped up before Auron noticed she might need more comfort than she was letting on. 

"Raine..." he said. Perfectly timed to just miss her, Auron reached out. 

"I'm sorry," she croaked, this time for something else entirely—for crying, for leaving suddenly, for everything. 

Auron stood. "Raine." 

At the gate, she hopped around to take off her shoes so she could get away more quickly. 

Macalania Woods 

"Get up!" Auron snapped at her. He shook his hand for her to grab it. 

Raine slipped her hand into his and he seized it, yanked her to her feet, out of the way of the charging Chimera. The powerful serpent tail whipped the back of Raine's head as the fiend skated to a stop behind her and her nose bounced off Auron's chest. She dropped her rod in the grass and managed to stumble out of the way as she heard the metallic whisper of Auron's sword. 

Stop calling it a sword. It's a katana. 

"Stand back," he growled. 

As the python lashed, Auron ducked and thrust his sword forward into the soft belly of the lion's body and twisted it. It collapsed, sliding off the blood-streaked blade, all of the heads flopping down with their tongues out. Auron was faster than he looked, but he was panting when he faced her, half his cloak hanging back over his shoulder to free up his range of motion. As he tried not to appear too proud of his overkill, Raine tried not to appear too impressed. 

Making a vague presenting motion with his upturned hand, Auron said, "Send it." 

Although it was the middle of the day, Macalania Woods was dark as night, lit only by nomadic Pyreflies, marbled pink and green globes of condensation, which cut through the muggy air like little balls of winter. Raine found herself moving into their path when one drew near to feel their cool relief on her sweaty skin, it was even better when there was a horde of them—it was like jumping into a cold spring—and worth every bit of Auron's scolding look. He'd been right about wearing light clothes and she didn't even need her coat, which she'd hung on a shimmery branch for the meantime, although the sweat stains under her arms were embarrassing and the hair that fell out of her garter was clinging damply to her face. 

Sighing, put upon, she slogged over to the Enchanted Rod on the ground. "The Iguions were easier." 

"The Iguions are below your level." 

"Are you sure? I think they were too fast for you." Raine smiled wickedly as she recalled Auron chipping his sword through the glittery bark of a moon tree when a swarm of hopping Iguions got away from him, laughing at him in their lizard chatter. It was at that point Auron sourly declared she was moving on to Chimeras, solo beasts with heavy armor that made them sluggish. Raine knew he was just riled from the Iguions. Both their bruised egos quietly festered from the tense day, their patience for each other wearing paper thin. Raine needed just a few solitary minutes to reflect, but Auron didn't let her go far by herself, not in this world, where it seemed there was a fiend every ten steps. 

"Send it," he said through his teeth. "Before the Pyreflies reanimate it." 

Looping and swinging the hefty staff the way Auron had coached, Raine performed the steps like it showed in the book, but nothing was happening. Auron backed away, further than what seemed necessary, and she felt like a fool as she stopped to check for traces of the Pyrefly orbs. Instead, the droopy, veiny goat's ear jerked and the lion's tail undulated, striking the grass with a rustling whump. 

"Now!" Auron shouted from far away. 

"I know, I'm trying," she muttered and swayed through the steps faster. 

She had sent an Iguion after only a couple tries, but Auron was a hard man to impress. If his impassively bored look was any indication, everybody and their mother could send an Iguion. She hated that she sought for his approval. She never needed it before. 

Increasingly distracted by the lion's ragged breath coming through its teeth, Raine's heart began to drum against her ribs. The serpent head levitated drunkenly off the ground, flicking its tongue, its yellow eyes targeting her, reeling, preparing to strike... 

...and a jet of Aqua Breath fanned the battle area. It sent Raine skidding backwards on her ass, but she was not the only one who was in Aqua Breath's range. Soaked, Auron appeared, his sword piercing the lion's body again. This time, he wrenched the blade upwards, breaking through the spine, and proceeded to hack off the heads. 

Water dripped off the ends of Auron's hair, lying boyishly flat on his forehead, beads cohered to his glasses, and parts of his drenched cloak hung limp. "Why didn't you send it?" 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 02



Sticking the end of her staff in the grass, she leaned on it to catch her breath. "I tried. It's too hard." She could hear her own whine, but didn't care. She hated the sending dance. She was bad at it. Now she was soaked and crabby. "Let's go back to the Iguions." 

"Absolutely not. You just need to work on the steps." 

"I can't get the steps from a book. Can't you show me?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively. 

"Hmph." 

He meant: "Not in your lifetime." 

Popping her hand on her hip, she shrugged. "Well, I need to be shown." 

"Surely a Blitzball cheerleader can pick up a couple sending steps," he scoffed. 

"That was ten years ago. And it's leading cheers, not sending Pyreflies to the Farplane. If it was easy, you'd be doing it," she muttered. 

Slanting his sword over his shoulder, his sunglasses targeted her hand, curled around the shaft of her staff, and promptly gave it an admonishing shake of his head. 

"Something wrong?" 

"What happened to the Nultide Ring I gave you?" 

"It's too big. It keeps slipping off." 

"That ring has no beneficial properties. Yet you still wear it." 

She knew he meant her wedding ring. Raine shrugged. "It's pretty." 

"You'll lose it." 

"Would that make you happy?" 

He shook the water out of his hair. "Hmph." 

He meant: "Don't ask mindless questions." 

Snatching the staff out of her hand, Auron held it horizontal with both hands as he passed it back to her. "Don't hold it in the ground like that. It ruins it." 

Matching his hard look in a battle of pure ego, Raine refused the staff and they stood like statues, glints of stray pink Pyreflies passing in the reflection of his sunglasses. As usual, Raine conceded first and waved the staff closer. 

"Fine. Go lure another one. The faster I send it, the faster we can beat Sin, the faster we can go home." 

Pausing, Auron showed her his back, scanning the woods for more Chimeras. 

Her stomach dropped. "I get to go home after, right?" 

He didn't look at her. 

Bracing the staff against her shoulder to give her arms a break, she said, "It's Sin, isn't it? He's the link between our worlds." 

Auron stepped around to face her. "We need to talk." 

"Look, I get it. Once Sin is gone, I can't go home. No worries. I'll make new friends here. They can't all be like Dona." 

"It's not that." 

Without taking his sword off his shoulder, Auron's bare arm circled around the back of her neck and tightened in an avuncular way, a rough callous snagging the thin fabric of her blouse as he displayed stoic comfort. Her face mashed gracelessly against his smooth leather cuirass and all she smelled was the leather conditioner, which had a faint, soothing scent of honey. Something tore deep in her and she knew it was worse than she thought. If there was one thing she knew about Auron, he didn't console. Their rare efforts at physical contact were generally few and far between. 

Her father and her brother both died fighting Sin. Why did she think it would be different for her? 

Next to them, the dead Chimera was already attracting Vespa Wasps, looking for a place to bury their eggs. Soon that would be her, a carcass in the Calm Lands with no one to send her. 

"When?" She was only dimly aware Auron was as cold as a Pyrefly under his wet cloak. 

"After you call the final Aeon." 

Dona knew. Rin knew. Barthello knew. 

"Everyone knew but me. They must think I'm so stupid." 

"On the contrary. They think it's me who is stupid, for not telling you sooner." 

She felt oddly weightless, an empty vacuum seeping inside her. Raine didn't want her funeral to be like her mother's, people only there out of obligation, and she didn't want a funeral like Tidus', either, a circus of acquaintances trying to climb some sort of social ladder. 

"Will there be a party when I die?" 

Raine felt the jolt of Auron's body first and heard the clatter of his katana second. He ripped the staff out of her hands as he threw it down on the ground next to his sword, where they were definitely both in danger of being "ruined." Scooping her in both arms, he gave her a long squeeze, crushing the air out of her lungs as his unshaven cheek pressed against the top of her head. Cool water droplets from the ends of his hair landed on her neck and shoulders. Hugs did not make her feel safe, but this one came close. 

"Of course," Auron rasped, and Raine sensed sincerity in the catch of his voice. 

"A big one?" 

"Not nearly as big as it should be."



Everything Looks Better Ch. 03







Everything Looks Better Ch. 03



Eyes widening, she bristled with the anticipation of his confession.

"Tidus is Sin."

Raine blanched and numbly shook her head. "But in Zanarkand, you said—"

"I know what I said," Auron murmured. "Many die fighting Sin, but only a few become Sin."

Raine's eyes unfocused, seeing something in her mind's eye only.

Auron's brow puckered. "Raine?"

By the time he noticed the sick green tint on her face, it was too late. Her vomit was mostly bile and water and it splattered his chest first before spilling down to his boots. Then she fainted.





Everything Looks Better Ch. 04



I appreciate your comments and I take them very seriously, probably more than I should. However, this story is already tightly plotted. If you are not enjoying the ride so far, please step out of line. This ride is not for you. 

***** 

Drake House, Zanarkand 

Raine couldn't breathe. 

The wedding dress had been an entire size too small to begin with, but the extra five pounds she'd gained from a semi-strict diet of noodles and cheese didn't help, either. After Auron returned to Zanarkand from his 3 month hiatus, her appetite had returned with a vengeance. 

So that Raine could at least wear the dress, a seamstress had worked very hard yesterday, although breathing room must have cost extra, a luxury Jory Drake's mother refused to pay for. In fact, Raine was convinced Mrs. Drake specified to the tailor the dress need not be comfortable, it just had to get through the next several hours without ripping. Of course, Mrs. Drake insisted Raine buy the dress one size too small to begin with to motivate her into losing a little more weight before the wedding day. She remembered Mrs. Drake had pinched the skin under Raine's chin like she was a piece of gecko meat up for inspection. It had been humiliating. 

Alone in one of the upstairs guest rooms, Raine was fully dressed, hair done, make-up on. Her bridesmaids, Jory's sisters, came in a flurry of sarcastic comments on her chipped nails, dry ends and dark circles under her eyes, weaved in some blonde hair extensions, plastered her up like a doll and then left to tend to themselves. Apparently they disappeared someplace where Raine's hideousness wouldn't distract them. 

Approaching the window bench, Raine didn't dare sit, afraid of tearing a seam or launching a button, but managed to gather the folds and lace so she could kneel up. As she peered down to the ocean-side backyard, guests were already funneling in, the ushers accompanying the older women in on their arms. The chairs had all been set up with perfect precision, the VIP seats in the front roped off with white lace and peonies and the alter faced the water, weaved with the same lace and flowers. She recognized her grey-haired co-anchors sitting in the middle, amongst the journalists not assigned to the cover the wedding, as well as former Zanarkand Abe players who played alongside Tidus when he was alive. Raine wasn't even sure how they got invited. Mrs. Drake took care of all that. All of Jory's teammates from the Zanarkand Duggles, his coaches and most of their graduating class were sifting in, spilling into any leftover space on the bridal side. Sphere-cams jerked around the guests, buzzing around the more familiar faces like machina parasites, attaining footage for whatever network they were owned by. Straight below, on the veranda, reporters who hadn't gotten an invite covered the occasion, which had been labeled the largest sports event since last year's Blitzball Finals. Raine was the newest and youngest sports anchor in Blitzball history and Jory was the latest Duggles' rookie. Jory and Raine were Zanarkand's new celebrity darlings, according to the media. 

Like funerals, big weddings were another lie. Another show for the sake of other people and it made her sick. 

Great-Aunt Naya was sitting near the front, intently reading the wedding program, by herself on account of Great-Uncle Cetan's stroke last year. Raine had hardly seen Aunt Naya since the wedding planning commenced, although she had made Raine a beautiful quilt for her bridal shower that no one seemed to notice amidst all the shiny kitchen wares, suggestive lingerie and a collection of food-storage plastics that initiated a wave of hot sweats among the other women. 

Panning her eyes to the outskirts of the yard, Raine searched for the familiar red cloak flapping in the salty ocean air, but she'd been without the comfort of those visions for months now. 

With a tickle of panic, Raine paced a little to burn off the extra nervous energy, padding around the carpet in her nylons, keeping away from the mirrors if she could help it. The person in those mirrors was beautiful, but she was a stranger to Raine. 

A brisk knock at the door stopped her in her tracks. "Yes?" 

Darwin, the wedding planner Mrs. Drake hired, came in armed with a clipboard and a pen accessory behind his ear. He had been nice enough to come to Raine at the beginning of the planning for her thoughts, but she suspected Mrs. Drake put a stop to that when she didn't approve of Raine's decisions. 

"Fifteen minutes, okay Raine?" 

"Okay." 

Closing the door, he looked around the room. "Where are your bridesmaids?" 

"I don't know. Check downstairs." Raine tried her very best to stifle her sarcasm, but a little exuded by. 

"They should be up here with you," he said, with a touch of irritation and shook his head as if he simply did not have time to bother. "Mrs. Drake wanted me to make sure you were wearing this." 

Darwin held up his closed hand and a lovely gold jeweled bracelet dangled from his fist. 

"It's beautiful. Who does it belong to?" 

"I assume Mrs. Drake." Darwin tucked his clipboard under his arm and took a clasp in each hand. He made a gesture for Raine to extend her hand. 

"Is it my something borrowed?" she asked flatly, aware she had nothing old or blue to accommodate the tradition. 

"Yes. It will pass for something old, as well. The dress is new...what's your something blue?" 

"Nothing. My eyes." 

"That will do." Darwin cocked his head to give her offered hand a second look. "Actually..." 

Raine frowned. "What?" 

"I've been instructed to—" 

Darwin picked up her other hand, the right hand, and hesitated when he saw the uneven scar wrinkling her wrist, punctuated with smooth slashes where the stitches had been. Raine flushed when Darwin decided to overlook it and clasp it on anyway. How conveniently the bracelet concealed the old wound. 

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Darwin asked when he'd arranged the bracelet so the jewels were all on the outside of her wrist. 

"Could you make my dress a size bigger in fifteen minutes?" 

Lips pinched with humor, he circled her around to inspect the buttons, adjust the bow at the small of her back and straighten her veil. "Just get through the wedding and I'll see what I can do at the reception to give you a little breathing room." 

"Have you seen Jory?" 

"Downstairs last I saw. But don't you dare go looking for him. It's bad luck, you know." 

"Then I must have slept through my good luck." 

Smiling sadly, the wedding planner held his clipboard to his chest. "This is just one day. I know Mrs. Drake has taken it over and it doesn't really feel like your day, but when it's over, it will just be you and your husband and that makes it all worth it." 

"You're right, thanks," she said automatically, pasting a smile on her face. 

He squeezed her shoulder and checked something off his clipboard as he left the room and Raine wondered what was on his list. Bride Appeased? Check. 

Darwin left and Raine swung around to the window again to check the guests. None of them was wearing a red hapi and carrying a sword. 

Had it been 15 minutes yet? Raine wasn't sure if she was supposed to keep track or if Darwin was coming back up to get her when it was time. Curling her first two fingers into the heel straps of her wedding shoes, she carried them into the empty hall, taking the stairs in just her stockings. Some of Jory's groomsmen were palling around in the den, but Jory wasn't among them, and the caterer was in the kitchen barking orders about cake and appetizers to his sous chefs. Raine slipped by unnoticed. 

Mrs. Drake's shrill voice leaked into the house through the veranda, giving last minute instructions to Darwin. Raine wasn't in the mood for her hypercritical looks and darted through the first door she found. Engaging the latch very gingerly, Raine waited in darkness for the dialogue to pass. 

"You gave Raine the bracelet?" Mrs. Drake asked. 

"Yes, ma'am." 

"Is she wearing it on the right hand?" 

"Of course, as per your instructions." 

"Good, now where is my son?" 

"I haven't found him yet, ma'am," Darwin said reluctantly. 

"Did you check..." 

Hand on the knob, Raine strained to hear Mrs. Drake through the door, until another sound in the room alerted her. For the first time, Raine's eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness to determine where she was. Standing on the top landing of the basement stairs, Raine discovered there was a light on downstairs, but it was too dim to be a main room light, it had to be from one of the side-rooms. 

The basement was mostly wainscoting, clapboard and dark wood floors covered with trophy fiend hides. It was Mr. Drake's part of the house, probably the only place he could put his feet up and have a drink without worrying about glass rings on the tables and Raine almost felt badly for him, save for the unsolicited squeeze of her ass during the rehearsal dinner when no one was looking. 

Raine heard it again. It was a continuous pulse, soft, unrelenting, and accompanied by a deep sense of dread, so tangible she could taste it. Stepping down the first few steps, she paused to listen, decided it was definitely coming from the basement, and crept down further. Light from one of the guest rooms seeped into the main room and Raine could just make out the shapes of the overstuffed leather chairs with subtle glints of brass grommets, and the billiard table in the center of the room. 

She approached the guest room at an angle, staying out of the slant of filtered lamp light, the rhythm she was hearing was wet, delicate and somehow mechanical and it occurred to Raine it might have been a leaky faucet from the laundry or the inner workings of the machina in the utility room. 

Of course, it was neither. 

Her husband-to-be was inside, standing at the corner of the bed, pants around his ankles, flanking Lindsey Seawell's knees around his waist. Raine realized the sound she was hearing was the faint, constant slap of skin on skin. 

Withdrawing into the shadows, Raine's face boiled in chagrin. She pressed her fingers primly against her mouth, fretfully wondering if this would make him late to the altar. Darwin said 15 minutes almost 10 minutes ago, but after a quick second look, Raine could tell they were almost done. Jory was forcing air out of his clenched teeth like he usually did when he was close, and if Jory was as thoughtful to Lindsey as he was to Raine, Lindsey would have her turn on her own time. 

Raine thought she would be angrier seeing them together, but she was remarkably indifferent as she collected as much of her dress as she could and tip-toed back to the stairs. She tried not to make them creak as she headed back to the ground floor, but a section of lace escaped, her foot came down on the hem and she collided against the steps. Her shoe straps were still tangled in her fingers and they slammed against the stairs as her hand came down to brace her fall. The racket was thunderous in the basement acoustics and she held her breath. The sounds of sloppy love-making had stopped and Raine only heard the high-pitched hum of her own mind. 

"What was that?" Lindsey Seawell whispered after some time. 

Raine was on her feet in an instant and she didn't care how much noise she made as long as she got the hell out of there before anyone saw her. Beating up the stairs, she crashed into the door, flew into the foyer hall, and kicked it shut. 

Out of breath, Raine propped against the wall, wishing she had some chest room to take deeper inhales. In attempt to appear ordinary, she paused at the foyer mirror to check her make-up. She was breaking out in a chilly sweat from her race up the stairs and she would likely catch hell if her make-up smeared off, if not from Mrs. Drake, then the sister who had applied it. 

Quickening down the second-floor stairs, Darwin appeared, alone, waving his clipboard at her and holding her white bouquet. The flowers had been under lock and key as far as Raine knew, as this was the first moment she had laid eyes on it. 

"Raine, it's time. This way." Whisking her out the open front door, Darwin made time to stop at the threshold so she could align her shoes to her feet and in a moment she was clapping up the walkway with the wedding planner, holding up the bottom of her dress so it didn't drag, heading into the narrow, shady space between the garage and the house. Jory's sisters were all lined up, dressed in the mauve dresses Mrs. Drake picked out, exhibiting the bouquets of white peonies that made Raine's skin itch. 

Gasping, Darwin's hand came up to obscure his mouth, the clipboard held tight to his chest. "Okay, don't panic." 

"What?" 

"It's okay, Raine, everything will be fine, just...nobody don't look down." 

Raine dropped her gaze. A flap of torn lace was waving in the breeze by her feet, probably from her mishap on the basement stairs. Squatting, lips pursed, Raine grabbed it, ripped it with a heavy rending sound and tossed it into the wind. One of the bridesmaids took in a severe breath. 

For whatever reason, it made her feel better. Lighter. 

Darwin's jaw dropped, his face going white, and he began fanning himself with his clipboard. "I can't...oh...oh...we don't have time. The music is starting. Where's Mr. Drake?" 

"Right here." Jory's father came wandering around the corner, relaxed, on his own time schedule. 

Inserting the bouquet into her hands, Darwin began fussing with the ruffles of Raine's dress to disguise the missing piece. Raine honestly couldn't tell with all the folds and pleats where the tear was anymore, although she was pretty sure Mrs. Drake would know and Raine suspected that was what Darwin feared, too. With a spear of guilt, Raine realized her brash action might warrant Darwin a stern lecture. 

Mr. Drake sidled next to her, lewdly peering down into the front of her dress, without the grace to appear apologetic and tortured like Auron did when she caught him looking. Glancing nervously ahead to see how many of Mr. Drake's daughters saw, Raine realized in relief they all had their backs turned, waiting for the promenade to begin. 

She wanted Auron to give her away. 

Not only did Mrs. Drake forbid it—"I will not have a homeless man in my son's wedding!"—but Auron's 10 years was up months ago and Raine suspected he had gone home to Bevelle where he was from. A goodbye would have been nice, but Jory's proposal had come with an ultimatum and it wasn't an easy one for Raine. Auron had maintained his nobly avuncular connection to her right up to the end, but it wasn't enough for Raine. When she told Auron he couldn't come around anymore, he accepted it with his usual taciturn style and was gone 15 seconds later, with nothing more than a single, apathetic nod for a parting gesture. Another thing about Auron: he always respected her wishes, even if it wasn't really what she wanted. 

Admittedly, Jory was a long way off from next best. But he was still the shortest way to forgetting Auron. 

The wedding planner began to give direction on the timing, even though they had all practiced yesterday at the rehearsal dinner. The music swelled and the first bridesmaid paced out, meeting a groomsman who came from another part of the yard and they walked down the aisle, out of sight around the corner of the house where Raine couldn't see. Perfectly timed, the wedding planner circled a finger to indicate to the next bridesmaid and as the second sister met the next groomsmen, Raine felt a strange gravity in the air. For a reason she could never quite pinpoint, she craned her neck up to the roof of the garage, startled by a flash of red, gone so quick she thought she imagined it. 

"Raine," Darwin hissed. 

Next to her, Mr. Drake had taken a step forward to begin the wedding march, but now he was looking at her with just a trace of concern. 

To be sure, she glanced up at the roof again, but nothing was there but shingles and fallen acorns from the oak towering over it. 

"I'm ready," she said coolly and let Mr. Drake lead her towards the altar. 

Room 4, Rin's Travel Agency, Macalania 

Rolling her head off the pillow, Raine squinted at the yellow glow of light filtering in from the bathroom, smacking distastefully on the dry acid burn of bile at the back of her tongue. Her coat and boots had been removed, the coverlet considerately arranged around her, her garter placed within reach on the bedside table. Outside, night had fallen, throwing off her sense of time. How long had it been since she'd collapsed at the Travel Agency's stoop? A few minutes? An hour? A day? 

Before she could worry where Auron was, a shadow darted by the open bathroom door, focused on a task. Scooting to the end of the bed, she sauntered across the room to the bathroom door, yawning, picking something crusty out of the corner of her eye. As she entered the bathroom, Raine first saw Auron's molded leather cuirass propped up like a limbless dummy in the bathtub. After, she discovered Auron hunched over the sink, shirtless, scrubbing his red cloak with a wet hand-towel. At her arrival, he promptly scooped his sunglasses from the ledge of the basin and slid them on. 

"Oh, sorry," she said, averting her sleepy eyes, although he seemed more concerned of her scrutiny of his facial scar than his nude chest. 

"I'm almost done." 

Peeking bashfully, she admired how thick the hair grew on Auron's chest and belly. Jory always had to shave his during Blitzball season, but it never germinated quite like Auron's, even when he let it. 

As Auron worked at the stain, something bright pink peeped out behind him, momentarily slipping into view at his waist, before the casual slant of his head flicked it back. Raine edged around him. Normally concealed under his armor, a ponytail sprouted from a clump of hair at the nape of his neck and it dangled as far as his hip, tied off with a faded, frayed pink ribbon with blue polka dots. More than half of it had been sloppily and unevenly braided, but the top half wasn't, as though it had been braided for so long the tail had time to grow several more inches. 

Placidly, Auron's sunglasses peered over the top of his shoulder at her. 

Her lips parted to say something teasing but instead, she pressed her lips together and twisted them knowingly. "Hmph." 

"Hmph?" Auron arched a sardonic eyebrow. 

Bracing for commentary on his unlikely accessory, his gaze was glued to her as she stepped back and leaned against the frame of the door. There was a time his hair had been long, all one length, but that had been for only a brief time when she was a child. Since Auron was always older, Raine had difficulty remembering him young. 

"Sorry about your clothes." 

"Clothes can be cleaned," he said. "How are you?" 

"Embarrassed." 

"I've been sprayed with worse," he chuckled. Draping the towel over the side of the sink, he gave the cloak a couple tentative sniffs. Satisfied, he turned to throw it over the shower rod. Raising the breast plate out of the tub, he swiftly slipped it back on, his fingers nimbly working the front clasps of his collar. 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 04



"Why didn't you tell me about Tidus before?" 

"You don't take bad news well." 

"Would you rather I made a scene?" 

"Making a scene is not your way, I've realized," he said, eye flicking over. "You are more...internal than Tidus." 

"It's no excuse not to talk to me." 

"We were talking. Calling me an asshole was especially productive." There was a gentle curve in his voice, veering between the borders of tenderness and mild ribbing. 

"What about my father? Was he Sin, too?" 

Auron nodded, leaning to wash his hands in the sink. She could see over the top of his collar his jaw was habitually flexing. She wasn't even sure he was aware he was doing it. 

"So my father sent you to my world to mentor Tidus. After, Tidus asked you to come back and watch me?" 

"Yes." 

"Lucky for you, there's no one left to look after," Raine said dryly, a hollow vacancy spiking in her at the blank legacy she left behind. She always thought there would be time for kids. 

"I'm not done looking after you, yet." 

Even though she knew this was a statement of his duty to Tidus, he said it like a dark promise and everything south of her hips turned to flan. "Did you wait until Tidus was in Spira before telling him about our father, too?" 

"Hm," he said affirmatively. 

"You were afraid he wouldn't go if you told him beforehand?" 

His eye slid to her warily. "I didn't want Tidus to change or hold back the way he lived; same with you." 

Raine closed her eyes briefly, recalling how much she held back in Zanarkand. Waiting for Auron. "This isn't the life I envisioned when I got married." 

They had been ignoring the topic since this morning, except for Rin's meddlesome observations. Auron straightened, genuine regret flashing across his brows, his shoulders sinking. "Humor an old man a little longer, Raine. If you still want to return to Zanarkand, I promise I'll find a way to get you back." 

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth when he referred to himself as an old man. "If you are anything, you are a man of your word. How long is a little longer?" 

Aiming his glasses down at the drain, he thoughtfully opened the soap. "Attain your first Aeon. I will not take any complaints of homesickness seriously until after that." 

She wondered why he'd chosen that of all things, if he knew something she didn't about mythical Aeons, if having one somehow prevented her from leaving Spira. But it wasn't like Auron to resort to deceitful trickery. 

"Deal," Raine said. 

Shaking his head at her, his eye gleamed. "Pity, though, if you decided to leave before meeting a certain stolen Aeon. I think you might get along famously." 

"My first Aeon comes from...Besaid...is that right?" 

Over his sunglasses, he looked at her, loosely pleased. "You were listening." 

"I listen to you more than you think." 

Nodding sideways in yielding agreement, he said, "You were a better listener than Tidus. He remembered nothing I taught him, running temple to temple without a single clue." 

Raine grinned, but had a hard time imagining her brother in Spira. He was always self-assured in Zanarkand, almost cocky. "I don't think you've ever explained how a Summoner gets an Aeon, though." 

"We'll go to the temple in Besaid and complete the cloister of trials. You shouldn't have a problem navigating that." 

"Then I get the Aeon?" 

"No, then you get access to the Chamber of the Fayth." 

She nodded. "And that's where I get the Aeon?" 

"Eventually. You'll have to go in alone and then you'll p—" Auron looked up suddenly, the water still running in the sink, but he'd stopped washing his hands. His face went uncharacteristically white. 

Her eyes widened. "What? Then I'll what?" 

"...pray." 

Oh. 

"Auron, I've never prayed." 

Lowering his attention back to his hands, Auron's face was tense with thought. The soap lather darkened as he scraped the dirt out of his fingernails. "You'll be fine." 

Tidus might have been gullible to believe the crazy religious zealots of this world, but Raine needed a little more proof. "How long until the Fayth realize I'm faking?" 

"You'll be fine," he said with resounding emphasis, convincing himself, harshly so she would drop the subject. 

Had anyone tried to defeat Sin without Aeons? It obviously wasn't successful. Maybe if she knew more about it, she could think of something, but Auron was more of a learn-as-you-go kind of tutor, so she would have to figure it out during the pilgrimage. Ending her brother's suffering took priority, even if she had to find a way to do it without Aeons. 

But in the end, it wouldn't matter: Raine would never get that first Aeon; she wouldn't even get to Besaid to see inside her first temple. 

Coming out of her thoughts, it occurred to Raine she was standing on the side of Auron's scar and she took advantage of his eye cast down to examine it, down the top of his sunglasses. She had never known him without it. Floating her hand into his blind spot, she managed a light caress over the bumpy, keratinized skin, before he dodged her like a fly. 

"Don't." 

Inhaling sharply, she stiffened, expecting reprimand, but his expression was more puzzled than stern, before he dropped his face again to finish rinsing the suds off his hands. 

Crossing her arms, she leaned her head on the door trim. "When I passed out, did you have to...carry me?" 

Auron dried his hands, faintly smiling. "Do you know of a better way?" 

Shaking her head, Raine wondered if he carried her threshold-style or over his shoulder. 

"Do you have to go?" He angled his head to the toilet. 

"Shower, actually." 

"There are clothes for sleeping in the drawer. I'll bring them to you." Yanking down his cloak from the shower rod, Auron leaned into the tub for his boots, which had also been offensively sluiced. Was there anything left that didn't have her puke on it? 

Standing in the wrong spot, Raine found she was blocking Auron from the door and they danced briefly before they could coordinate themselves in the tight quarters. She had to hunch her shoulders to keep her breasts from grazing his arm. 

Bending into the tub to turn on the water, Raine could hear the sounds of the drawers sliding open and close in the main room. Taking a moment to swipe the dirt from Auron's boots down the drain, she activated the shower head and slid the curtain across the rod to keep the spray contained. Auron returned with a set of heavy flannel clothes, folded, and pushed them towards her. 

"Auron, I'll die in these." 

His brows knit together. 

She reddened, realizing the carelessness of her words. "I mean, these are too warm. I usually just wear a tee-shirt." 

"I know," he said with a strict look of disapproval and pointedly set them on the side of sink before spinning around to leave. 

Oh. 

Petulantly pondering his expectation she sacrifice her comfort for the sake of his, Raine went to the bathroom door to shut it. In the next room, Auron was sitting at the end of the bed taking a knot out of his boot lace and when he looked up to study her, the yellow vanity light in the bathroom bounced off his sunglasses. 

Dropping her hand from the knob, she left the door wide open. Why shouldn't she? He had left the door open when he was shirtless. Back to him, she peeled off her blouse, feeling the prickle of his eyes on her and an instant later he was behind her. Gripping the frame of the door, he leaned into the bathroom, his good eye burning crossly over the top of his sunglasses. 

Her heart leapt into her throat and something made her hug the removed shirt closer to her body. 

With a slow, warning shake of his head, he grasped the door handle and slammed the door on her. 

Zanarkand Marina 

Surfacing the marina bay, Raine peeled off her snorkel and goggles and tossed them up on the deck of her houseboat, followed by her hammer and chisel, which clattered together noisily. They were rusty and the end of the chisel was coated in black mud and pieces of exoskeleton from the Sinscale spines she'd been chipping off the boat's underbelly. It was too late and too dark to get them all, but it was also too humid to sit inside, so she made a little progress on the upkeep while simultaneously cooling off. 

"He's still living here?" 

Raine yelped, dipping underwater as her legs thrashed unproductively beneath her, gulping in a mouthful of sea. 

Jory was standing in the doorway of her houseboat, his thumb jutted accusingly inside. "His katana. It's still in the spare room." 

Grappling for the ladder, she said, "Jory! You scared the life out of me." 

"Why is his sword here?" 

Raine sighed, climbing up the ladder, the rungs slippery from slimy build up and sea weeds. "Because the clerks get nervous when he brings it into the store with him." 

"Why's he at the store?" 

"We're out of beer," Raine said, as though it should have been apparent. Dripping a track of ocean water across the deck, she approached Jory for a kiss, but he kept her at bay with his outstretched hand. 

"Don't get me wet." 

Inwardly sighing, she sat in one of the worn, faded patio chairs to drip dry. The outdoor furniture had been left behind from when Jecht used the houseboat to drink the day away. 

A streak of moonlight glittered on the marina bay and the hot, moist air was alleviated only by an infrequent ocean breeze. The air conditioning was broken, despite Auron's efforts to keep it running, and some nights Raine spent on the deck with only a pillow and a blanket to pad herself. 

Jory sat in the chair next to her. He had doused himself in expensive cologne and the heavy scent was suspended in the damp air without a wind to carry it away. He was in flip-flops and shorts and his tank top was draped over his shoulder. Except for an occasional exhibition game, it was the off-season and Jory was letting his chest hair fill in. It was patchy and slick with sweat. "You said he was leaving soon." 

"He is." 

"When?" 

"Whenever he decides to." 

"Dammit, Raine." He slumped back in his chair, bristling. "You let some old beer buddy of your dad's live with you for this long and you think he's going to leave? The asshole has it made here." 

"What do you care?" Raine muttered. "You don't have to live with him." 

"I do if I want to see you. You never come to my house anymore." 

"Because your parents are in the next room." Under her chair, Raine found a folded sports magazine, Let's Blitz!, and used it to fan herself. 

"My parents are a lot less creepy than the guy with one eye who lives with a woman half his age." 

"I'm not half his age," she sighed, but she knew it was probably close. 

She often entered conversation with Jory with bland indifference, never really engaging him or advancing the conversation, thwarting his grievances of the future with empty promises. It wasn't like he listened to her anyway. They'd had this fight before and Raine was growing bored of it. 

Jory suddenly twisted in his chair, sparked with a new idea. "You're sleeping with him." 

That got her attention. She stopped fanning herself and glared at him. "You're being ridiculous." 

"All this time and never once-" 

"No." She had the eye contact, but lacked the conviction. Raine had alluded to Auron she would be a willing participant if he ever got restless, but he had never taken her offer. 

Guarded, he settled back in his chair. "I'm not sure I believe you." 

Raine shrugged. 

Jory would never break off things with her; she was too big an asset for his career. Raine had been promoted to sports anchor last month. Combine that with her legendary Blitzball ancestry and Jory's opportunities to get out of the minors and into the Blitzball majors was doubled. Already, there were rumors the Duggles were interested in him. 

She also suspected Jory was still holding out for a Jecht Shot tutorial, but her father never showed Raine how to do it. In fact, he barely showed Tidus how to do it, lacing the instruction with criticism and bragging about how "I'm the best" and how "No one else can do it." Once, when Raine was about 4, she asked her father to teach her, but he scoffed and went on a tangent about the pros going co-ed and how in his day women played on their own teams. 

Hearing the familiar weight of Auron's boots on the deck, Raine knew he was coming before Jory did. A small smile was on her face to greet him before he even turned the corner. A brown bag of groceries crinkled as he situated it in his exposed arm, the sleeve of his cloak hanging at his back. 

"Hey," Raine said with a drowsy smile. She picked up her magazine to use it as a fan again. 

"I thought I heard voices back here." Auron nodded once. "Good evening, Jory." 

Jory gave Auron a sullen look, hunching in his chair. He looked like a scolded child. 

Looking over his sunglasses at her, Auron very slightly tilted his head, discreetly inquiring about Jory, if he had interrupted something. 

With a roll of her eyes, she shook her head and mouthed, "Tell you later." 

Furtively inclining his forehead in understanding, Auron opened the door to go inside through her bedroom. "I'll leave the change on the counter." 

Jory lowered his voice. "So is he your errand boy now?" 

"Shut up," she said monotonously. "It's too hot to fight." 

"You're different around him." 

"You're different around your friends, too." 

He shook his head. "Not like that. You hang on his every word." 

"Then I'm lucky he doesn't say much." 

"Do you love him?" 

She paused before answering and decided to go with the truth. "Of course I do. He's my best friend." 

"Well, what am I?" 

The door creaked as Auron came out, and Raine heard the jangle of a bottle and glass together as he poured the beer. 

"A pain in the ass," Raine answered Jory first, then grinned up at Auron as he handed the glass to her. 

Clink, toast, sip. 

"You two are annoying," Jory muttered. 

Fetching her colorful striped beach towel, hanging on a hook by the door, Auron walked it over to Raine with a depreciative lift of his eyebrow. She was content to let her wet bikini drip dry, but Raine took the hint and arranged the towel to cover what her bikini didn't. 

Auron dragged over another chair to sit with the group. "Something bothering you, Jory?" 

"Raine says you'll be moving on, soon. Any idea when that will be?" 

"Jory..." Raine warned, but she felt peculiarly exhilarated whenever Auron and Jory were together. Their piss-contests never disappointed her, even if neither of them loved her the way she wanted. 

Taking a drink, Auron rested the bottle on his thigh and swallowed. The moon picked up the silver in his hair and reflected off his sunglasses. To Raine, he was sexy as hell. "I can leave anytime. Raine knows this." 

Raine scowled. 

"That's not what she tells me," Jory said. "I mean, this has gone on long enough, don't you think?" 

"What has?" Auron asked, utterly composed. 

"Mooching off my girlfriend." 

Auron's only response was a smug chuckle. 

Raine smothered a grin and then yawned. With the heat, it was hard to get a good night's rest. 

"Are we boring you?" Jory snapped at her. 

"Indubitably," Raine quipped and sipped her beer. She looked into the dark sunglasses that abruptly swung her way and she felt the slack of their connection tighten and tug. She smiled and Auron softly laughed. 

"What the hell does that mean?" Jory asked. 

She knew she should really be nicer to her boyfriend, especially around Auron, when Jory was already so insecure about him. She felt bad for teasing him and with a guilty grimace, Raine said, "I'm sorry, I'm just kidding." 

"What does it mean? You have your own made up language or something?" 

Disbelief widened Raine's eyes, first at Auron and then at Jory. "Jory, indubitably is a real word." 

Auron let go a hearty laugh, throwing back his head, one of the few times Raine had ever seen his teeth. They were surprisingly straight. 

"Whatever. I'm outta here." Jory struggled into his tank top and stamped down the side deck to the docks. 

Raine felt better with Jory gone. A tension released, but alone with Auron, it was replaced with another kind of strain, an ache. 

"Thanks for throwing me under the train," Raine said. 

"Is that what that look was for?" Auron asked. Casually, he pushed out of his chair and moved to the one Jory had just vacated, next to Raine. "You must keep me more informed of your lies to your boyfriend, especially when I'm involved." 

"Sorry. He asks a lot of questions." 

"Irritating, isn't it?" 

Raine smiled impishly. "I ran out of things to tell him." 

"I usually keep to the truth." 

"I appreciate that." Unfortunately, for her the truth was a little complex. 

"Do I dare ask?" 

Raine hesitated, but she was curious how Auron might react. "He thinks we're sleeping together." 

Without reaction, Auron lifted the bottle to his lips as he gazed at the water. His arm was still out of his sleeve and she noticed a smattering of freckles on the curve of his shoulder. "What gave him that idea?" 

"I don't know," she said lamely. She felt a little under attack, that it was somehow her fault Jory had such scandalous notions. "He's just acting crazy." 

"Hmmm," he said in the affirmative. "He wants you to himself." 

Raine's laugh was hard, sardonic and cut viciously across the bay. "Me and Lindsey Seawell." 

Auron's glasses swung around to face her. "Jory's not been faithful?" 

Raine was flaccid as a lifeless sloth in her chair, her towel suffocating in the wet heat. "Oh Auron, have you not been paying attention all these years?" 

"Only to you," he said gruffly. "How long?" 

Jory had been screwing Lindsey Seawell since their senior year in high school. "Remember the day you found me crying by the swings?" 

"Eight years? Why do you stay with him?" 

Because you don't love me back, she thought. 

"Habit, I guess," she said and the words lingered, resting on the humidity. 

Unrequited love happened every day, but it wasn't easy to get over with Auron, not when it was his job to watch her. What was he protecting her from, anyway? Maybe his world was dangerous, but this was Zanarkand. Nothing was dangerous here. Except for the occasional Sin attack, she realized, but that had been almost eleven years ago now and Sin wasn't coming back. 

Anyway, there was very little motivation to break it off with Jory. He would fight too hard to keep her, harder than Raine cared to match at this point. She had already put off having children this long and she wasn't getting any younger. Jory wanted them, too. At least, he wanted first claim to children with Blitzball already in their blood, to continue the legacy of her brother and father. 

For once, Auron broke the silence. "I have news." 

"Oh?" He never had news. 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 04



"I'm leaving for a while." 

She sat up quickly. "How long?" 

"Not long. A few days." 

Sitting back, she fought to calm her erratic heart, tried to sound casual. "What for?" 

"Just tying up loose ends." 

"Is it the pilgrimage?" 

"Not yet." 

"It's been ten years." 

"And four months." 

So he was paying attention. Raine thought maybe he'd lost track of time. 

"So you'll be back?" 

"Mm-hm." 

"Good," she said and cheekily added, "Someone has to fix the air conditioner." 

"Hmph." A clipped laugh. 

Several minutes went by. A distant fishing boat slowly loomed through the sparkle of the moon on the water and the waves of its passing were just now hitting them, rocking the houseboat in lazy undulations. 

"You do know if you left for good, I'd really miss you," she said, flinching a little at her own vulnerability, but it had to be said. He had to know. 

Auron said nothing. Not even a trademark grunt. He was so hot and cold, some days she didn't know what she was going to get. 

She swallowed a lump in her throat. She didn't want her voice to crack when she mocked him, deep and scratchy, "I'll miss you, too, Raine. It sure was swell of you to let me stay here while I fulfill my promise to your dead brother—" 

"Stop," he barked, reproachful. "Of course I feel the same. I didn't know I needed to say it." 

Raine protruded her jaw, ripped off the striped beach towel and threw it down on the deck in a soggy wad. She was suffocating. "Just go, okay?" 

Auron flashed an annoyed look. "What's gotten into you?" 

"If you go, then I can stop dreading it and move on." 

"You're tired," he said gently. "Let's go inside." 

"Don't tell me how to feel." She wanted to be mad at him a little longer. It was the only time she felt in control. Jory could never make her angry like Auron could; her barriers had gotten too thick by the time Jory came into her life, but somehow, Auron had snuck through a breach when she was still a kid, when she was still able to trust and make connections. Raine downed the rest of the beer, feeling the sink of loneliness that always came when someone she loved went away. "Want another beer?" 

From her peripheral vision, Raine saw the shine of his glasses as the moon reflected off them. "I've had enough," Auron said. "So have you." 

"Don't tell me what I want, either," she said. She got up and went inside for a beer. 

Auron was gone by morning. She didn't see him for three months.



Everything Looks Better Ch. 05







Everything Looks Better Ch. 05



"Only for you." 

She tapped her lips thoughtfully with her index finger. "I bet it takes a lot to embarrass you."

"Tonight came close."

She laughed. "I'll be more discreet from now on."

"Hmm." For some reason, this didn't make him feel better. 

Coyly smiling, she said, "Hey, put your hand out."

Puzzled, Auron shifted his cloak to the other arm, adjusted the strap of his scabbard on his shoulder, and held up his fingers. 

She mirrored him. "Do you remember this?"

"Hmm," he said and nodded once.

Her palm hovered next to his for a beat before she sealed the heel of her hand to his, matching up their fingers. She felt smooth against his rough callouses and her fingernails had been professionally groomed and painted red.

Look, Owen, I'm catching up!

"I can't believe I'm about to say this," Raine said with an insecure giggle, "but when I was little, I used to think when my hands got as big as yours, that I would be...big enough for you."

Instantly, Auron dropped his hand. His belly was being slowly wrung out like a bloody towel after cleaning a wound. A steady unease, a warning. 

Hand still up in an awkward wave, Raine took the rejection with her usual timid grace and a tight smile. "Still not big enough, I guess."

Auron nodded upwardly towards her house. "Good night, Raine." 

"Good night, Auron."





Everything Looks Better Ch. 05



"You mean, when I'm too invested in the Pilgrimage to turn back."

"Try not to see it that way."

"How do I really know Tidus is Sin?"

"Your brother could sense Jecht in Sin."

Glancing up, she laughed dryly. "You'll have to do better than that. I haven't even seen Sin in his entirety, so how can I sense anything?"

She was right. Sin was keeping his distance. Showing restraint.

"And I don't believe Tidus would want me to be part of a cycle, either," Raine said.

"Jecht wanted Tidus to break the cycle."

"Well why didn't he?"

"It wasn't that simple. There were...obstacles."

She frowned thoughtfully at his vagueness, her clear blues searching for him through the screen of his sunglasses. "Obstacles I'm expected to overcome?"

"You did get all the brains."

She laughed abruptly, cynically, and pushed back her plate.

"Full?" Auron asked.

"I don't think it matters how much I eat," she muttered. "I'll still feel hollow inside."

Auron furrowed his brow. She must mean her grief for her upcoming sacrifice. Or did she now think it was suicide? He blamed himself for her failure to distinguish between the two, although the true responsibility lied with Tidus' Sin. When Auron came back to Spira several months ago, to secure provisions, to reserve this room, to order their supplies, he meant it to be a short visit, using his link with Sin to hitch a ride back to Zanarkand when he was finished. But Sin was displeased Auron had not brought Raine back with him and had spent the following three months showing Auron exactly how dissatisfied he was....





Everything Looks Better Ch. 06



C-South High School, Zanarkand 

The only place Raine could be alone to cry was in the park, on the swings. 

Head down, shoes elevated from the trench of mud below the swing, Raine didn't get far, the tears only just welling up in her eyes when Auron's boots appeared in her range of vision. 

She swallowed and hastily cast away the tears. "I thought I gave you the slip." 

"You underestimate me." 

Raine squinted into the setting sun at him. He was all sunglasses, collar and hair whipping in the wind. There was a dead leaf in his hair from whatever cluster of trees he had come out of. "I should have known you'd find me." 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

Forcing a weak smile, she said, "Oh, Auron, it's just girl stuff. I wouldn't want to bore you." 

"Hmph." 

He studied the swing next to her, tested its engineering with a firm tug on the chain and he seemed out of place as he carefully sat, figuring out its movement. Raine tried to picture him as a child on the swings and wondered if they were the same age, if they would ever be friends. It was hard to say. She didn't see him as the playground type. 

"Don't you have practice?" he asked, his gaze swinging to the field. 

The girls on her squad were rehearsing some advanced cradle catches and even at this distance Raine could hear Lindsey Seawell shouting her shrill criticisms. 

"I don't feel well." Physically, she was fine, but today had been especially draining. She found out from one of the other girls on the squad Jory had been cheating on her with Lindsey Seawell. It wasn't an act of mercy; it was said with plenty of nasty intent. Raine spent the rest of the day between classes, hunting Jory down for the truth and by the time she pinned him for answers, he'd had time to make up a cover story about how they had just been talking. 

"You look pale," Auron agreed, furrowing his eyebrows in concern. 

"Gee, thanks," she said, glancing self-consciously over her shoulder at a group of girls walking by with book bags. Today had been a ponytail day and her uniform was a little wrinkled because she didn't have time to iron it this morning. Now, apparently she wasn't getting enough sun. Great. 

"Besides..." She looked furtively back to the field. "I think I'm going to quit." 

His glasses were trained on her in an instant. "Why?" 

She shrugged. "It's stupid." 

"It teaches you skills." 

She rolled her eyes at him. "What skills? Basket tosses? Thigh stands? How to be at the bottom of a double hitch pyramid?" 

"You shouldn't give up so easily." 

She didn't say anything, but she knew he was right. If she quit now, Lindsey and the girls would know she'd been beaten. 

"These people...they only focus on the superficial. Hair, make-up, clothes..." Raine flicked her eyes to Auron. "Scars." 

His eye moved obliquely to hers. 

"For them, looking at a person's true character is beyond their depth. It's a lot of work to be popular, you know. Well, for me it is. It came easy to Tidus. Everybody liked him and he didn't have to try to be someone he wasn't." 

"Ignorance is bliss," Auron said. 

"Yeah, maybe. I always thought we were so different, Tidus and me. Sometimes, I would think Tidus was one of them. Superficial. Like we were on separate teams. He was an Abe, I was a Duggle." 

"Tidus did say the Duggles play dirty." 

Raine thought he might be alluding to a previous conversation, but he was turned away, staring across the playground. "Auron, I think I would like for us to be friends." 

"We are friends." 

"No, friends like you and Tidus were friends." 

"I thought you liked our current arrangement." 

Raine hesitated. That was when she cared about what her schoolmates thought if they saw her walking home with Auron. "Well, I'd like to discuss a new arrangement. I'm almost 18. I can pick my own friends." 

"Hm. Friends." 

She glanced up tentatively. "You want to be friends, don't you?" 

"If you wish." 

"If I wish?" 

Auron bristled as he situated in his swing to look at her. 

"Don't do me any favors," she barked. "I have plenty of pretend friends." 

"I'm unclear." Auron wrinkled his forehead. "What is it you want?" 

"Forget it," she muttered, crossing her arms. "It was a stupid idea." 

"Being friends is a stupid idea?" There was a catch of humor in his tone. 

"I didn't mean it like that." Raine sighed, irritated. "The real question is: what do you want? Most people want to be my friend because of my famous father and because my brother was popular, so don't pretend we're friends because my brother asked you to. If you must stalk me—stalk me. But be my friend because you want to." 

"Hmph," Auron said, brooding. 

"What?" 

"No one's ever asked what I want before." 

"I don't think anyone's ever asked me, either." As Raine gazed up at him, a breeze blew her blonde locks into her face and she restrained them behind her ear. "But if we're going to be friends, I need you to show me more of your cards." 

"My cards?" 

"You know...the ones you don't show until it's your turn?" 

He nodded. "Which card?" 

Raine already knew which card she wanted to see. She'd been kept up many nights wondering how Auron met her father if he was from another world. "How do you know my father?" 

Straightening his posture, Auron did not appear ready to answer. "We...worked together." 

"Bullshit." 

Auron swung his head in her direction and he looked like he might scold her for swearing. 

"My father never worked a day in his life, except for Blitzball. And you don't look like a very good swimmer." 

Those reflective sunglasses were pasted to her. 

"Auron? Tell me." 

He shook his head. "Not now. You've had a long day." 

"Don't give me that. What aren't you telling me?" 

Grunting reluctantly, he said, "Your father and your brother...they didn't die the way you think they did." 

"How did they die?" 

"Sin." 

"Oh, I know that," Raine said. "Tidus died from a Sin attack on the Zanarkand Stadium. And my dad died at sea during Blitzball practice. I suppose Sin could have—" 

Auron waved his gauntlet to silence her. "They died in my world fighting Sin. During a pilgrimage." 

Raine blinked. "Oh." 

"My first pilgrimage was with your father and a Summoner named Braska." 

"And your second was with my brother?" 

"Hm," he confirmed. 

"Who was the Summoner on your second Pilgrimage?" 

"A girl named Yuna." 

A stab of jealousy made Raine frown. "Who's Yuna?" she asked, with an edge of accusation. 

"Braska's daughter." 

"Oh," she said and felt stupid. "So she's my age?" 

"Closer to Tidus. They were in love." 

Raine gaped. "My brother fell in love with a Summoner?" 

"Hm." He had turned to her slightly, gave her answers readily, almost anxiously. He...liked talking about his pilgrimages, when he got started. Once he forgot about the fatalities. 

"So was it was just you and Tidus with Yuna?" 

"There were others. Yuna was fortunate to trust so many." 

"Who were they?" 

"People from her village. Her cousin, an Al Behd. A Ronso, who raised her." 

"You have Ronsos in your world?" 

"Hm." He nodded. 

"I've never seen one, just pictures. They seem scary." 

"Maybe on the outside. Kimahri was gentle, utterly loyal." 

"I suppose. Sometimes you seem scary, but you're not so bad." She launched herself sideways on the swing to bump him and he stomped a foot down to brace himself. He was chuckling. 

Raine wondered if Auron had ever fallen in love, but she knew asking him directly would make him shut down. However, he never denied her information when she asked about his pilgrimages... 

"So..." she began carefully, like approaching a wild animal. "Women can be Guardians?" 

"Of course." 

"Even to men Summoners?" 

He gave an even shrug. "If they can do the job." 

"So there were women in your Pilgrimage?" 

"Yes." 

"Were they my age?" 

Auron's brow wrinkled thoughtfully. "Rikku is your age—" 

"Rikku?" 

"Yuna's cousin." 

Somehow, Raine felt less envious knowing that. 

Auron didn't have to be prompted to continue. "And Lulu is a little older. Early twenties." 

"So as far as Guardians go, you're..." 

His head slanted to her, but his collar and glasses hid any expression. 

"Experienced," she finished with a quirk of her lips. 

"You could say that," he said and grunted a laugh. 

Raine saw her chance and moved to corner him. "Was Lulu pretty?" 

Sensing a trap, Auron regarded her with a sagacious stare of his sunglasses and Raine felt vulnerable under his look, despite it was her trick to set. "She was beautiful," he said, very matter of fact. 

The jealousy was stabbing as she dropped her eyes to study the ground. Her ploy had backfired. She was trying not to spook him into silence with her questions, but with one sentence he was able to shut her down. The heat of fresh tears threatened to emerge, so she kept her head down and clenched them back, leaning her temple against the chain of the swing. 

Auron sighed, looked away, and softened his tone. "But Lulu was a little...dark for me." 

"It's not that." Raine shook her head at his explanation. "Sorry, I'm just having a bad day. Let's change the subject." 

"Let's," Auron agreed. 

"Did you get your scar on a Pilgrimage?" 

In any other case, Raine would not have asked about his scar, fearing he would become mute, but it seemed an easy query to ask now and he responded without hesitation. 

"Right after my first Pilgrimage." 

"What happened?" 

"Stupid mistake." 

She sniffed, lifted her chin to face him. "Aren't most mistakes stupid?" 

"Not if you learn from them." 

"What did you learn from your mistake?" 

"That I'm not immune to being stupid." His eye crinkled and she knew he was smiling. 

Raine leaned back in the swing, holding onto the chains so she could look at the orange sky. "It's not fair, you know." 

"What isn't?" 

"You knew Tidus and my father differently than I did. You knew them at their best." 

"Raine—" 

"It's true, though, isn't it? Jecht stopped drinking for some Summoner he'd known for a couple months?" 

"Braska and I always knew he would start again when the Pilgrimage ended." 

"But you still knew him sober, didn't you?" 

"Yes." 

"And Tidus died fighting alongside the woman he loved. He must have become so brave." 

Auron only cleared his throat, finding something across the park very interesting. He was wiping his nose with the back of his gloved finger, casually enough, but Raine was hit with the sudden realization Auron missed Tidus. Sometimes she forgot exactly how much time they spent together when Tidus was young. 

Focusing her attention back on the leaf caught in his hair, Raine reached over to the side of his head. "Come here, this is bugging me." 

Auron ducked sideways, dodging her warily. 

She revealed her empty hand to him, a pacifying gesture. "There's just something in your hair." 

Slowly, he leaned hesitantly to her hand. Combing her fingers through his hair, she caught the leaf and sifted it out. His hair gleamed in the sun like it was wet, but it was soft, and it was darker and thicker in the back, compared to his front hairline which was loosely shaped like a lowercase "m," the sides skunk-streaked with silver. Although the leaf was gone, he let her gently rake her fingers through it a little longer and she felt like she was petting the wild animal she'd caught. She tried not to make any sudden movements or say anything, although she wanted to ask if he conditioned on account of how silky his hair was. 

"Just a leaf," Raine said, reaching further down, hearing the crackle of more dead leaves, collecting in his collar like a funnel. She clicked her tongue. "No more hiding in the woods for you, okay? If anyone asks what you're doing, you tell them you're waiting for me." 

Her fingers nudged against something hard at his neckline, wrapped tightly in cord, and as her fingers tried to coil around it, she found it was tucked into his shirt. 

"What is this?" she asked, knowing he might draw away. 

And he did, roughly, nearly taking her fingers with him, as though just realizing what she was doing. He reached into his back collar to adjust whatever was there and something edged in on the outskirts of Raine's memory, something about what was there, that she had seen it before, handled it, even. 

"Auron, do you have a tail?" 

"You know I do." 

She looked away, the blurry recollection coming into careful focus. She smiled. "You used to let me braid it, didn't you?" 

"It kept you quiet," he grumbled. 

"I remember I used to tie it off with a pink ribbon that had blue polka dots. Do you still have it?" 

"It...got lost." 

With an unconcerned shrug, she said, "I suppose it's been a while." 

She thought about asking if he would let her braid it again, but she could just about imagine his answer, although it wouldn't be the first time she asked something knowing the answer would be a very stern "No." The more humiliating the request, the harsher the no. 

"Practice is over," she said, finding the field empty. "My aunt will be expecting me home soon and I'm bringing a friend home for dinner." 

"Would you like me to walk you home?" 

"You better," she grinned. "Dinner's at 6." 

Room 4, Rin's Travel Agency, Macalania 

Sin...Tidus...the Final Aeon... 

Thinking of them gave Raine a stomachache. 

Lying on the coverlet, belly down, her feet lazily kicking the pillows, Raine paged listlessly through the Summoning book, her attention briefly harnessed by an occasional picture, until Auron brought out the whetstone block. She liked watching him sharpen his sword. Working with his hands, he seemed so medieval. 

Rolling on her side, Raine propped her head up on her hand to watch, doubling suddenly from a sharp cramp in her gut. By the time she winced and dug her fingers into her side to massage it away, it had already elusively faded, but not before Auron noticed. Sliding his katana half way from its sheath, he paused and looked at her. 

"You okay?" 

"Just a belly ache." There had to be a way to make it go away for a while. "Does Rin have a liquor license?" 

"A what?" 

"Sorry. I forget we're in the middle of Rural, Nowhere." 

"Are you thirsty?" 

"I wouldn't mind a beer. Or seven." However many it took to dull the ache. 

Wiping the oil off his blade with a dry cloth, Auron suspiciously peered over his glasses. "You can't handle that much." 

"Precisely. What the hell, right? You only live once." 

"Usually," he agreed blandly. "But it's not a good idea." 

She evinced mild offense. "I'd be good drunk, not like my father." 

"As amusing as it may be, I need you focused." 

"I'm focused," she yawned, stretching out on her back. Her shoulders were still tight from wielding that horrible Enchanted Rod. 

Auron snorted. 

"What? I've never been drunk before. I think I'd like to know what it's like, that's all." 

Resting her cheek on the coverlet, she looked over at Auron for a response, but his dark glasses were trained on her, low, in the direction of her hips. She peeked down at herself self-consciously and tugged her thick, shapeless pajama top back down over her exposed belly button. 

Apparently this was the only sleeping attire Auron favored to see her in and she wondered if it had something to do with that night he returned from Spira. She remembered the faint smell of ozone in Auron's red cloak from his portal voyage and how scratchy his hands felt against her body and ever since she always wondered where he might have touched her next if she hadn't stopped him. Considering her new flannel pajamas, she suspected Auron also wondered. 

Immediately, Auron resumed cleaning his blade, and Raine tried to ignore the arduous, writhing look flitting momentarily across his face as he flipped over the sword and wiped the other side. "Your father used alcohol as a means of escape," he said. "I fear your intensions aren't far off." 

"You'd deny me a dying wish? You give everyone else their dying wishes." 

Auron looked up and considered her for a long moment, before he glanced diagonally to the dresser. 

She sat up with interest, her eyes fixing on his stoneware jug. Face creeping with a crafty grin, Raine peered deviously at him out of the corner of her eye. "Have you been holding out on me, Auron?" 

He stopped mid-wipe. "Raine..." he warned. 

Raine felt a charge course through her as they stared at each other, frozen, blue eyes to reflective sunglasses. Something about the way his eyebrow arched made her think he was daring her and the idea of disobeying him was exciting. After a long, still moment, they sprang into action at the same time: she scurried out of bed, Auron's sword clanged to the table. 

Hooking the tiny pressed handle with a curled finger, Raine snagged the jug and narrowly escaped his outstretched arm as she circled the table. Auron tried to cut her off on her way to the bed, but she skimmed through his fingers with a dodgy move worthy of the Blitzball pool and managed to put the bed in between them. Surprised with its heaviness, she pinned the jug under her arm, her fingers posed around the cork as she examined Auron's face to see how angry he was. Not angry enough, by her calculation. He had stopped stoic by the bedside table and his arms were folded. 

"Don't," he said, but it was dry, without persuasion. 

Twisting the plug, Raine loosened it slowly. 

Coolly, he started around the bed for her, but she jumped on, stampeded the pillows, crumpling the quilt and the sheets underneath. With an exasperated sigh, Auron stopped at the foot of the bed, palms up in a brief beseeching gesture. Stance wide, Raine evaluated where he would go, ready to jump depending on which way he went. Heat pleasantly dropped between her legs when she considered letting him catch her, the mental image of him wrestling the jug from her was especially pleasing. Of course, he would never do that. Auron didn't play. 

Keeping a close eye on Auron for unexpected movements, Raine knelt on the coverlet, her fingers working at the squeaking cork until it suddenly popped off. Sniffing the jug's opening, Raine smelled nothing, but she could hear the resonant jostle of liquid inside. Unintimidated by Auron's looks of disapproval, she tossed back her head and poured the drink into her mouth. She tried not to backwash, but the container was so awkward and full it was hard not to and she ended up taking more than she could handle. Some of it poured over the side of her mouth, splashed on the front of her flannel pajamas. Lowering the jug, she held the liquid in her mouth as she tried to determine what it was. It was unsatisfyingly smooth. Swallowing, she balanced the jug on her thigh and wiped her mouth with her other hand, glaring at Auron. 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 06



"You creep. It's water," she muttered. 

He faintly smiled. "Happy now?" 

"I can't get drunk on water." 

"Precisely," he mocked in monotone. 

"Then why didn't you want me to drink it?" 

"It's holy." 

"Uh," she grimaced, replaced the cork with a pound of her fist and set the jug on the bedside table. Wiping the water off the front of her pajamas, she asked, "It's not going to boil my insides, is it?" 

"It shouldn't," he chuckled and returned to the table to resume his chore. 

Considering how weak her stomach was today, getting drunk was probably the last thing she should be doing. Auron probably wouldn't be as forgiving if she puked on him a second time. Flopping face down on the bed, Raine exhaled a weary sigh. "Can you teach me to do that?" 

Auron peered up from his sword, his brow creased doubtfully. "Really? I've asked you before if you wanted to learn." 

"I'm bored," she said with a shrug. And it hurts to think. 

"Clearly it's a new low of boredom." 

He continued to wipe the sword, saying nothing more, and Raine rested her cheek on her folded arms, resigned to just watch. How many more nights until she'd be watching him sharpen his sword before the final battle? This thought was promptly followed by a distant twinge in the center of her hollow gut. 

When he had removed all the oil from his blade, he ceremoniously uncovered the stones from their protective velvet cloths and inserted the coarsest one into the square depression on the wooden sharpening box, which was stained from minor water damage. He had acquired a sharpening kit much like this one in Zanarkand and watching him use it was a common occurrence in the houseboat. In fact, she had fuzzy memories of him teaching Tidus how to sharpen a sword when they were young. 

"Will you fetch me a glass of water?" Auron asked without looking up. 

Scrambling off the bed, she felt a little like a girl again, anxious to help. Grabbing a clean glass from the dish cart by the door, Raine went into the bathroom and ran the tap, filling the glass about three-fourths full. A memory vapor emerged in her mind's eye: Raine was around 12, filling a plastic cup back at her childhood home, in the deep, rusty sink in the utility room by the back door. Auron was with Tidus in the backyard, stressing the importance of sword safety as he set up the sharpening stones on the patio table by the grill. Will you fetch me a glass of water? Auron had asked her and Raine jumped up to get it, excited to be included in their activities for once. 

Auron was inspecting the edge of the blade for small notches and didn't say anything when Raine came back with the water. She set it by the box and sat at the corner of the bed and crossed her legs, waiting to be entertained. When he was satisfied with the condition of his sword, he aimed his glasses at her from over the top of his collar. 

"Well?" 

Raine grinned and leaped up, standing by with anticipation while he poured a little water on the grey stone. 

"Start hilt side and touch it to the stone at an angle," Auron said, demonstrating for her with strong, capable hands, easily sliding the obsidian blade across the stone. The sword was almost as wide as his fingers were long and the sword's length rivaled the diameter of the table from hilt to sword tip. Holding the sword in place by the handle, Auron sidestepped away to give her room to take over. "Ready to try?" 

Realizing she hadn't touched his sword since that first day at the houseboat, when she'd spent all morning drilling brackets to the wall in the room she was saving for him, Raine approached tentatively, placing her hands on the smooth blade the way he had, her fingers fringing carefully to the sharp edge. Her hands were hardly large enough and her thumbs merely hooked around the dull side for stability. Auron let go of the hilt slowly to make sure she had control of it and Raine had forgotten how heavy it was. It had to be twenty times heavier than the Enchanted Rod and she could feel its weight in her arms and shoulders. 

"Slide it diagonally," Auron said, keeping his voice low and even, although the tension in his body told Raine he didn't quite trust her with it yet. 

Raine's attempt was jerky and rough, not at all the way Auron glided it naturally across the stone, and she was abruptly halted by a high screech, like she was sharpening his sword on a chalkboard. The sound made her violently shiver and Auron prickled. This was not the constant metallic rasp that lulled her to sleep those nights at the houseboat. 

She grimaced, partly in apology, partly from the awful noise. "Sorry." 

Humbled by the difficulty of the task, Raine searched for the right angle, but Auron stopped her and examined more closely the blade, his thumbnail scratching a noticeable nick, the result of Raine's inexperience. 

"I would stick to Summoning if I were you," Auron murmured. 

Raine's face reddened, her belly sinking miserably. "That bad?" 

"Indubitably." The skin around Auron's eyes wrinkled as he targeted her with his sunglasses. 

She smirked. "Did you just make a joke? At my expense?" 

A rumble of muffled laughter bubbled over the barricade of his collar. 

She stepped back, offering the sword back to its owner. "Maybe you should do this." 

Auron caught her by the small of her back and hauled her back towards the table. "You can do it." 

Raine repositioned the sword, but was immobilized with thrown confidence. 

"Here." Auron shuffled up behind her, his biceps trapping her as his hands came up alongside hers, adjusting the sword's angle. His chest pressed against her shoulder blades and Raine held her breath as she tried again, Auron guiding. Her hands trembled as the blade slid skillfully across the stone and when Auron clasped his hands over hers to still them, his corresponding chuckle sounded very close to her ear. 

"See this sludge?" he asked softly, stopping to indicate the shavings of steel on the stone. His voice vibrated on her spine and when his mouth moved, his beard scraped the delicate skin on her temple. 

She nodded numbly, too distracted by the toughness of his callouses on the back of her knuckles to be properly instructed. Auron rinsed the sludge away with another trickle of water, ran his palm over the stone, and then flicked the water off his fingers before he placed his hand back over hers. She forced herself to pay attention, to actively contribute, lest he stop the lesson for her lack of concentration. 

A few minutes later, he lowered the blade down a few inches to work on another section of the sword, shifting, his hip bumping her and Raine felt the start of an erection brush against her backside. Stiffening, she sharply inhaled, something fleeting quivered in place of the belly-ache void. She attributed his reaction to the anticipation of battle, a likely response from readying his blade, but the quick, productive sword strokes had already turned torpid, the wind of his ragged breath deafening in her ear. 

When the timing was right, Raine nudged backwards, feeling an unmistakable jab of rigidity, and he seemed unable to help himself when he flexed his groin forward, pinching her hips against the edge of the table. Her heart immediately throbbed, her skin scorching under her arms and between her legs. A cold sheet of sweat came out of every pore. 

"I know what you're doing," he muttered. "I can't say I approve of this method of escapism, either." 

"Something approves," she said and arched her rear against his erection. 

Auron groaned. "It irritates me when you provoke me for a reaction." 

"You still owe me a dying wish," Raine whispered. The sword in front of her went still, but neither of them let go, and her head tilted sideways as one of the cold buckles of his collar dug into her earlobe. 

"I'm not a genie," he grumbled. 

"You don't have to be for my wish." Raine sagged against him. "Besides, it's my wedding night." 

"Yes, I suppose it is," he said and his icy tone startled Raine. Her shoulders went cold as he backed away and she was briskly cast aside as he attended to his sword, carefully laying it down on the table. "You should go to bed." 

The stab of rejection was painful for Raine as Auron steered her around to the bed by her shoulders. He lifted the coverlet and Raine crawled underneath, dejected, lying like a board on her back as he covered her. Aside from today, Auron hadn't tucked her into bed since she was 7 years old; on those nights her mother worked late and couldn't get a sitter. She thought he might kiss her on the forehead, but he didn't even offer that, and he kept his sunglasses averted as he turned off the lamp next to her. 

Roaming the room, Auron flicked off the rest of the lights, except for the dim one on the dresser—as though she still needed a nightlight to sleep with—and began to put away his sharpening kit, slowly, methodically as he usually did, making sure all the different grit stones were wrapped in their proper sleeves. Eventually, Raine knew he would settle into the arm chair he'd positioned across from the bed to watch her sleep, like the dutiful Guardian he was, like he always had been. And she would have to sleep this way, silently suffering with sexual strain, knowing he was watching her, knowing he would be thinking about the last thing she said to him tonight. It's my wedding night... 

With heavy sadness, Raine turned on her side, hugging herself, trying to squeeze the hollow out of her, but the ache only flared. Covertly, she twisted her ring close to her face, letting the soft light from the dresser bounce off the pear-shaped diamond. She felt like throwing the quilt over her head and bawling, but she resorted to anger instead, plotting a maddening silent treatment that would last no less than two days, more if she was still cross by the end of it. All these years, she'd fought to change their dynamic, but no matter how much she tried, Auron would always think of her as that 4-year old who couldn't pronounce her R's. Perhaps he was right. Obviously, her first instincts to flip the blankets over her and cry lacked maturity. 

Hearing the casual click of Auron's collar snaps, Raine peered over the hill of covers at her shoulder. Collar loose, Auron was lifting his leather harness over his head, showing her again his thick, dark chest hair. He braced the armor up in the chair before facing her. He put a knee up and the mattress sunk as he crawled onto the bed. Raine started, chest thrumming crazily, and she brought her knees in to give him room. 

Expression flat, Auron kneeled forward in the space between her raised knees and Raine sat up to meet him. She opened her mouth and Auron's steady lips sealed against hers, guarded, his stubble cutting into her chin and upper lip. During their steely kiss, a slideshow of old fantasies scrolled in her mind from when she was 17, dreaming of Auron undressing her slowly, coating her naked parts in kisses, leisurely bringing her to a gentle climax. She speculated how he would compare. 

Gathering all the hair he could manage in his fist, he squeezed it in a clump at the back of her head and when he had enough of her mouth, he yanked her hair, bending her head straight back. He gazed down impassively, assessing her with unsettling disconnection, the lenses of his sunglasses little round mirrors over his eyes to hide what he was thinking, and they didn't leave her face as he walked closer to her on his knees. Raine felt self-conscious to be panting so heavily so soon and she swallowed, forcing quick, shallow breathes through her nose. 

He kissed her again, this time urgent, demanding, his beard severe on her face, his tongue filling her mouth. His moan of relief vibrated on her lips and Raine was equally pleased their kiss was not repulsive, like kissing a family member, although Raine found herself elated by an elusive thread of delicious wrongness. Maybe it was their gaping age difference or the act of sullying the intended pure nature between Summoner and Guardian, or maybe it was the surfacing of Raine's unresolved father issues. 

Whatever it was, it was wickedly intensified as Auron's hand made a scooping motion between her legs, assertively cupping her humid sex, massaging her through the flannel with a sure thumb. She gasped into his mouth. A moment later, Auron's rigidness pressed against her belly and he swung an arm around her back to brace her as he rubbed it against her ribs, fervently seeking gratification, so unseemly out of character. Letting naughtiness take over, she clutched onto his buttocks, urging him to grind against her, and he did, clenching under her touch, their tongues tangling. 

After enduring Auron's assault on her ribs, Raine wanted to see it and she rifled for the drawstrings of his breeches, but before she could untie them, Auron scooted back. Raine feared the return of his lucidity, but he immediately began working at the elastic of her pajama bottoms. She propped herself on her hands, bucking her hips off the bed to help his effort as he jerked them over her hips and the sudden movement of it threw her back against the pillows. Off came her new, pretty white underwear with hardly a second look, discarded onto the floor. Auron grabbed under her knees, towing her roughly across the bed, her head skimming off the pillows. Deliberately, his face turned down to examine her fair-colored pubic hair. There was nothing in his expression to show his approval, or disapproval, except for a flex of his jaw muscle, which could have meant either. Growing wetter with just the caress of his eye, Raine filled her fists with bedding. 

His sunglasses targeted her breasts next, fingertips grazing along her hips to the lowest buttons on her flannel shirt, undoing them slowly, leaning on one hand, hovering over her to reach the top ones, and shifting the lapels obliquely to expose her. Raine found herself frozen, holding her breath, her breasts felt huge under his scrutiny. His scratchy hand came up to caress one, his thumb circling the nipple, snaring it in a firm pinch and Raine let out a hasty sigh. His face dipped to the other breast, his tongue still cool from the iced tea, like he'd been sucking on the ice cubes, and her nipple wrinkled frigidly, his whiskers chafing the sensitive skin. She felt the pressure of him sucking, her breast weightless, and a soft bubble of her own warm liquid popped between her legs, squirting on her inner thighs. She squirmed from the maddening itch. Releasing her with a wet smack, Auron's eye burned over the top of his sunglasses. 

"You are sure?" he husked, his voice raspier than normal. 

Swallowing, a strangled moan came out of her mouth. "Yes," she croaked. So far, he was living up to her late night fantasies. 

Never taking the aim of his glasses off her, he sat back on his ankles, and Raine noticed for the first time his dark braid had slid forward, the distressed pink ribbon with blue dots catching in the hair on his stomach, until he brushed it back over his shoulder. 

Testing her gently with a long, thin finger, Auron slid knuckle deep inside her, effortlessly, and Raine thought she saw the ghost of a smug smile on his lips before he gravely wrinkled his brow, taking her approaching climax very seriously. For that, she forgave his cold fingers. He dragged his thumb gradually between her pubic lips, collecting her moisture, languidly circling her slippery clitoris. She tightened, the smolder between her legs building, her back arching off the mattress. 

If Auron felt any desire for her at all, he was taking great strides to hide it from her. His lips were compressed; his only motivation sparked from a cruel mixture of obligation and duty. He was rougher than Jory, but still more present and aware of her body than Jory ever was. Raine absorbed Auron's every twitch, every constriction of his face, wriggling her hips to the rhythm of his skilled fingers and she absently wondered where he managed to gain his experience after two decades of minding her family. For many years, she had been curious how he made love and there was a long time after he mentioned he was a monk she thought he was celibate, but the swift, efficient way he was bringing her to orgasm was anything but beginner's luck. 

Auron shoved her knees apart and dropped his mouth between her thighs. Raine's head jolted off the coverlet, but she wasn't quick enough to catch him. 

"You don't have to—Auron, you don't—" she said between breaths. 

Jory had been squeamish about putting his mouth there and she had become self-conscious about the smell and taste and wasn't in the habit of grooming her private area. She reached down between her thighs to pat his forelock, but his tongue was already lapping in her folds. She writhed involuntarily as he licked the apex of her vagina. 

"Auron," she mewled. 

He growled something unintelligible in response and shivers split up her spine. Gripping the back of her legs, Auron eased her into a folded position, the start of a reverse cartwheel. 

Her knees almost touching her breasts, she felt the virtual suffocation of being bent in half. Auron's tongue probed once into the channel of her vagina, but it was not his true destination as he continued south, poking boldly into her tight crater. Gasping with difficulty, Raine's eyes smashed shut. His breath was chilly between her buttocks, and it made the ring of muscle there reflexively contract. No one had ever touched her there, not a mouth and certainly not a tongue. Auron penetrated further, stretching her sphincter, eliciting from her a shameless groan that shocked her. The relief when he removed his tongue was uniquely erogenous, but he gave her little time to recover as he dove into her public lips, now more sensitive than ever. Bobbing back and forth, anus to clitoris, he didn't let her rest and she began building, knees shaking uncontrollably, the pleasure not like anything she felt before. 

"Turn over," he grated. 

There was no time to consider. Auron twisted her legs until she was face down on the bedspread. He grabbed her hips, yanking her up on her knees, her rear sticking lewdly in the air for him to see, but he couldn't have spent too much time studying her as he groped her butt cheeks, using his thumbs to spread them apart. If it was possible, she felt more naked. His tongue was in her again, his face shoving into her backside and one of his large hands slipped between her slick thighs, running his finger through her pubic pleats. Lasciviously moaning into the coverlet, Raine's eyes shut again, grasping the side of the mattress with her fist. She couldn't keep still, her rump bobbing wildly against his face. 

She couldn't believe what he was doing to her, the places he was touching, considering this morning, how awkwardly he unzipped her dress. Now he was brazenly exploring her most secret places. 

A flurry of hurried kisses on her rear-end signaled a transition was coming and she could feel him changing positions. She tensed from the uncertainty. She heard the wispy shift of his trousers and then the fleshy slap of his erection as it spanked against her drenched inner thigh. Her knuckles went white clutching at the sheets, the vacancy in Raine's stomach replaced with a surge of panic as she took stock of the places he might impale her. One of those places was virginal and nowhere near ready for anything bigger than his tongue, a fact she was 100% certain of when he nudged the head of his cock between her buttocks, sliding it obscenely up and down her crack. She couldn't tell if he was searching or teasing, but he felt strangely cold. Raine whined tremulously through her nose, a faint pleading sound. After all this time protecting her, he would be cautious not to hurt her, wouldn't he? 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 06



After so many years envisioning Auron inside her instead of Jory, Raine felt gratified when Auron pushed into her tunnel with a fierce thrust. But it was not as she imagined. Something felt unquestionably wrong and not in the deviously stimulating way. There was biting discomfort, freezing her deep inside, a stubborn popsicle that refused to melt. With a delayed yelp, her pace careened off course until she found her place again. Auron didn't seem to notice as he pulled back slightly and gave another sharp forward plunge, groaning behind her. Hearing his arousal, Raine forgot how frigid his organ was and lifted up on her hands so she could more easily participate, slamming backwards against his hips, delighted with the sound of Auron's deep moans behind her. 

Throwing an arm around her, Auron prodded his finger into her most sensitive spot, quick, purposeful, manipulating her in loops of exquisite pleasure. His coarse chest hair tickled her back as her knees began to spread across the beaded quilt, amphibiously bending from the crush of Auron's weight on her and the strain of her weakened muscles. She experimented with the balance of bucking against his hand and keeping her rear high enough to avoid his sliding out, until her head flew back in a silent scream, waves of warm relief spilling to every nerve ending. 

Auron wasted no time, pumping in frenzy to finish, keeping his finger pad on her button, simultaneously drawing from her every last shuddering spasm. "Humph!" he grunted when he peaked, like he was throwing something of great weight, extinguishing her with a blast of cold that lingered queerly as if she'd swallowed a whole cube of ice and it was somehow melting in her uterus. 

Elbow buckling, Auron slumped on the bed next to her, his body cool and dry, while hers was wet, sticky and sweaty. They both fought to catch their breath. He rolled her on her side so he could spoon her but she was only numbly aware of this, the diversion of their intercourse short-lived. Crumpling into a fetal position, Raine snatched closed the flannel shirt, hugging herself, the black vortex inside her was desolate and barren and it seeped into the place of her fading ecstasy, threatening to swallow her whole, as it would likely do when it was time for her to die.



Everything Looks Better Ch. 07



Room 4, Rin's Travel Agency, Macalania 

Raine felt far away. 

Auron's exhilaration was laced with dread as he cinched his arms a little tighter around Raine, attempting to lure her into the present, but she was blankly preoccupied. An uneasy silence thickened before his organ had completely drained and he tucked it away. Quickly. 

Rigidly unraveling from his arms, she buttoned two arbitrary shirt buttons, swiped the garter from the nightstand, and found her pajama bottoms at the end of the bed. 

"Where are you going?" Auron asked. 

"To clean up." 

Auron trained her with a sharp eye as she fished her underwear out of the flannel pant leg, keeping her back to him as she snapped on the bathroom light and closed the door. 

Damn. 

A Guardian should make a Pilgrimage easier, not complicate it. 

Squeezing his lips together, Auron rolled onto his back, raising his head off the bed as he tied the drawstrings on his trousers, then entwined his fingers behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. 

Nothing about today had been easy for her. Jet-lagged, hungry, homesick... He couldn't help to think it was a matter of timing. How different would things be if he had just asked her not to marry Jory? Maybe if he had taken her to bed in Zanarkand, when everything was simpler, when the air smelled different and the food had flavor, she might still be in his arm now, pestering him with some form of pillow talk. She would not be locked in the bathroom and he would not be wondering when a man finally was immune to making mistakes. 

Mistakes. 

Seized with panic, Auron sat up straight. "Raine?" he called, his voice deep, hard. 

The seven seconds it took for her to answer felt excruciatingly long. Auron heard nothing but the Pyreflies rustling frantically at the back of his skull, reminding him Raine had ventured out of their comfort zone. 

"Yeah?" Her muffled voice echoed from the bathroom acoustics. 

Rubbing the back of his neck, Auron exhaled. "Nothing." 

Interestingly enough, the Pyreflies were not only quieter when Raine was near, but they were downright mute when he was balls deep in her, and he couldn't help the curl of his lips as he smiled to himself. He had to admit she was a worthy contender, her contribution instinctive and mostly unquestioning, but maybe he'd shown too much of himself, he thought, and his smile faded. With a sinking sensation, Auron had the oddest notion that his skin was see-through and Raine didn't like what she saw. 

Unable to shake his disturbing thoughts, he rolled off the bed, approaching the cart by the door. He rattled through the dishes, the uncovered trays. Raine's fork, knife and spoon were under a napkin on her unfinished plate, and he checked the other sets of flatware to make sure they were all complete, namely the knives. 

I've made so much progress and you coming back...well, it's liable to set me back. 

There had been a reason she had sent him away in Zanarkand. Maybe he should've heeded it. 

At the bathroom door, he gripped the door knob and knocked. 

What was she doing in there? 

To his surprise, the door was unlocked, and he swung it open, too fast. He discovered her on the toilet in a curious position, head down, legs apart, looking critically down at her thick blond nest of pubic hair. At his entrance, she straightened, pinned her knees together, her expression frozen with embarrassment. 

"What are you doing?" he asked around a bewildered smile. 

"Auron," she scolded. "Privacy?" 

After careful consideration of what he'd walked in on, Auron leisurely faced the door. "I thought it would be locked." 

"I'll lock it next time," she muttered. "I didn't realize you had issues with your impulse control." 

Auron smirked. If she only knew the impulses he'd resisted over the years. 

Leaning a hip on the edge of the sink, he noticed her garter sitting by the basin, but it was her ring that snagged a double look. He looked away from it swiftly; one more thing he wasn't supposed to see, but he couldn't ignore it. "Having regrets?" 

Her pause was careful, tentative. "About what?" 

Pinching the ring between his index finger and thumb, Auron held it up over his shoulder so she would see it. 

"Maybe," she sighed. Auron heard the papery flick of toilet paper and the shuffle of her movements as she finished up. "I don't know. I think I need to see more cards before I answer that." 

"Fair enough." Behind him, the toilet flushed. "Which cards would you like to see?" 

"It will have to be a personal one, I think," she said, standing next to him, turning on the faucet to wash her hands. 

She was wearing just her pajama top and underwear and his eye darted straight to her legs. A swing of desire came readily over him. He wanted her again and the Pyreflies danced at the thought, but now wasn't the time. Considering her temperament, it might never be the time again. "I figured. You're being abnormally unsociable." 

Without looking up at him, her forehead crumpled, affecting annoyance. "No I'm not. You did exactly what I asked, thank you." 

Auron laughed, hard and gritty, but stopped abruptly when Raine shot him a cursory look. He had suspected it before, but now he wondered seriously if Raine was pursuing momentary diversion, to distract herself from their Pilgrimage. He knew he should feel hurt, used, maybe angry, but he instead felt strangely turned on. This ruthless version of Raine was quite unexpected. "You think I only did that because you wanted me to?" 

"Didn't you?" 

He conceded with a side nod. "Partly. I hear it's not as fun with only one enthusiastic participant." 

She bullishly smothered a grin, tried instead to look defiant. "Is that what you had? Fun?" 

He raised one brow. "Wasn't it obvious?" 

"It was a little more than just fun, don't you think?" 

She was seeking verification of his feelings. They were present and accounted for and his larynx dropped to say it, but his lips stayed sealed. The longer the pause, the more difficult it became. 

Flushing, she shook her head to dismiss him from answering and hastily dried her hands on the towel. "Never mind," she said and quickly circled around him to leave the bathroom. 

Auron caught her by the elbow and said, a little too bitterly, "Don't forget your ring." 

With an irritated sigh, she reached for the ring between his fingers, but Auron didn't let go right away. She tugged and when he still didn't let her have it, she frowned up at him. 

He said, "I've always believed actions speak louder than words." Releasing the gold trinket, he hoped she understood his meaning. Lying with her was more than fun. 

"Is that so?" she asked, clipped. 

She held up her left hand for him to see, making a rather ostentatious demonstration as she displayed the ring in her other hand, between her thumb and forefinger. A second later, she deliberately joined the ring to her left ring-finger, sliding it purposefully in place. Her point was not lost on him. Raine intended to stay married and she expected Auron to act accordingly. 

Shadowing her out of the bathroom, Auron pressed his shoulder on the mount of the door and folded his arms. Raine straightened the coverlet, crumpled from their previous activity, and slipped underneath, lying on her back. She had picked the left side, where he had tucked her in earlier, and he interpreted the Auron-sized gap on the right as an invitation. Crossing the room, he mirrored her under the blankets, both of them steely, staring at the ceiling. He waited for her card request and wondered why he was always the one with cards to show. 

"When is it your turn?" he asked. 

"My turn?" 

"To discard." 

She turned her head so her cheek rested on her pillow. "You want to see one of my cards?" 

"Hmm." 

"All you have to do is look," she said, pointing her chin back to the ceiling. "My cards are all face up in front of me." 

He twisted his lips, bemused. "I think there are a few stashed up your sleeve." 

She sighed. "You're surprised by this? You've given me a lot to think about today." 

"I tried not to overwhelm you. But you're too damn smart." 

Smiling sadly, she said, "I just wish we had more time." 

Auron paused. "It's still your choice," he reminded. 

"Say I don't do the pilgrimage. Will you find another Summoner to guard?" 

"I am a Guardian." Raine didn't respond and in the quiet, the Pyreflies in his head fluttered in revolt. For the first time, he speculated the Pyreflies were actually reacting to his own tempers, instead of acting independently of him. "But I'll come back." 

"If you're not Sin," Raine muttered. 

"Little chance of that," he said. Finding one person with an appropriate bond was difficult enough. 

"If you don't come back dead, then." 

Auron clenched and stared at the ceiling. 

"Look, I'm not faulting you for it. It's like Tidus and Blitzball, it's what he does." 

"And what is it you do?" Auron asked. 

"I don't know," she said with a light shake of her head. "My sports anchor job in Zanarkand...it's not who I am. I don't have a pull like you and Tidus do." 

"You just haven't found it yet." 

"Maybe it's Summoning, and I just don't know it." 

"Maybe," he said automatically. He didn't think so, but he'd been wrong before. 

"How long has it been since you've been to bed with someone?" 

"Years." 

"Was it Lulu?" she asked without hesitation. 

He wanted to ask the relevancy, but he promised to show her cards. "It wasn't Lulu." 

"Was it ever?" 

"No, Raine," he said sternly so she would quit asking. Lulu had been a Guardian and a friend, as was the Ronso, the Al Behd girl and the red-headed Blitzballer. "The last time was before I came to Zanarkand. The first time." Before the Pyreflies reanimated him. 

"Who?" 

"Their names escape me," he said and when he felt her harden, added, "I've never been with anyone more than once." He wasn't sure that last part was helpful, either. 

She pondered that for a while, emoting nothing conclusive and eventually said, "Well, you are a hard man to impress." 

Auron grinned. Incidentally, after learning Auron was a recently dismissed monk, it was Jecht who orchestrated Auron's lost virginity, anticipating Auron might be less of a "stiff." The woman whose name Auron had long forgotten, if he had ever known it, had come up to his room after the party had retired for the evening and she declared there were no refunds, insinuating she had already been paid for. Auron suspected it was a lark, just to see what he would do, as if Jecht didn't really expect Auron to go through with it. But Auron simply widened his door and let her inside. If Jecht knew then what Auron was doing now to his only daughter...Auron closed his eye and tried not to think about it. It had a serendipitous feel, but Auron was convinced Jecht and Tidus wouldn't see it that way. 

After a few moments of thoughtful quiet, Raine said, "No one's ever done that to me before." 

"Done what?" 

"Remember when you asked me if I was sure?" 

Auron's lips twitched. "Yes." 

"Everything after that." 

He glanced over, questioning. 

"Jory was the missionary-type," she explained and looked down at her hands folded across her belly. He could tell she was uncomfortable bringing up Jory, but this was probably the only context where Auron didn't mind. 

"Ah," he said and tried not to sound too smug. 

"You must have been with a lot of women with more experience than me." Raine peeked over uncertainly. "Do you remember the woman who liked your tongue in her backside?" 

"Although they probably wouldn't have protested, yours is the first I've...tasted," he said with a chuckle. 

"Tasted," she repeated with a shudder of revulsion. 

Auron mocked insult. "The Summoner is not pleased with my technique?" 

"Oh, the Summoner is pleased. I just never pegged you for an ass-man." 

Remembering her on her knees in front of him, holding her ass up to him as an offering, Auron was glad he was safely under the covers. "What did you peg me for?" 

"Boob-man, considering all the looks you used to sneak in the houseboat." 

"You might think differently if you'd been aware of the stares when your back was turned." 

She giggled and her hand reached across him until she found his hand. Pulling it down into the space between them, she laced her fingers with his. No one had ever held his hand before. He rather enjoyed the frivolous weight of it and Auron let his drowsy eye close, contently listening to her heart beat. 

"I was thinking about shaving. Down there." 

Eye opening, he said, "Is that what you were doing?" He faintly smiled at the recent memory of her self-examination on the toilet. "I hope you reconsider. I need fewer reminders of our age difference. Not more." 

"It's only polite to clean up when expecting visitors." 

"I prefer you looking as a woman, not pubescent." 

"Speaking of pubescent..." 

Auron regretted his choice of words. "Raine..." 

"Why did you make me wait so long?" she asked ruefully. 

"Had I handled you the way I had tonight before you were ready—" 

"You were absolutely right to let me suffer in teenage angst, Auron, but I recall making you an offer in my early twenties." 

"I was..." Auron wavered. "Not ready." 

She dimmed. "I shouldn't have been so forward." 

"I shouldn't have been so craven." 

She rubbed his palm with her thumb, her nail catching a stiff callous and she absently picked at it. "How old are you, anyway?" 

He chuckled. "I was 25 when I started my first pilgrimage." 

She clicked her tongue. "You're forcing me to do math?" 

Although he was still aging, he was actually 25. If he thought of it that way, she was really just a year older than him. And if he got really technical, he might remind himself her Zanarkand was 1000 years behind his Spira. But he had not gotten around to telling her these sorts of details and it made him slightly sick knowing these conversations were still looming. He had best stick to the numbers that would make sense to her until then. 

"There are exactly 20 years between us," Auron said. Give or take 1000. 

"Forty-six," she said, as if testing how his age felt on her tongue. She cautiously sipped air. "My father was 25 when he had me." 

"I've always been painfully aware how close in age I am to your father." Had he lived, Jecht would be 51 this year, but Auron refused to reflect on how much time had gone by since his first Pilgrimage. Only old men did that. "If this makes you uncomfortable—" 

"Auron, I've never been more comfortable with you than I am now. For once, you're talking to me like I'm an adult." 

He didn't want to ruin the moment by asking about her therapist's diagnosis or if Raine still thought their attachment was harmful to her psychological health. It couldn't be more destructive than her relationship with Jory, which Auron suspected Raine kept secret from her doctor. "I think I know why Jecht asked me to watch over Tidus and not you." 

"Why's that?" 

"You're stronger than Tidus, and he knew it. Smarter, too. He knew you didn't need me." 

"And again I'm punished for my strength," she said. "Admit it, Auron. I pale in comparison to Tidus, Jecht's prized star-player. We all know a daughter could never be as good at Blitzball as the legendary Jecht."  

"Don't be pessimistic." 

"And I beg to differ on my need for you," she said with renewed frustration. "So would Tidus, I imagine, since Tidus obviously thought I needed your minding." 

Auron didn't say anything. He was still trying to figure that one out, too. 

"I hated how unfair it was Tidus got all your attention and you never included me in any of your activities." 

"If it makes you feel better, I'll refrain from including Tidus in any of our activities." 

Raine laughed and flashed him a sneaky look. "Activities? Plural?" 

"One of us should stay optimistic." 

She laughed again and Auron grinned at her. Her smile idled a long time and it was still there when she asked, "When did you start thinking of me like that?" 

Auron blinked, startled, and furrowed his brow. "Ask me something else." 

Her eyes widened. "How young was I?" 

"It's..." He scowled. "Complicated." 

"You don't think I know that? If anyone's going to understand our complexities, it's going to be me." 

She was right, but it wasn't easy to explain. 

"I'll tell you when I started," she offered. 

He passed her a wry look. "I think I know." 

"My childhood crush on you doesn't count." 

"Then it doesn't matter," Auron said firmly, squeezing her hand. "Only now counts." 

Smiling wickedly, she said, "You don't want to know when I started touching myself while thinking of you?" 

The mental image goaded a jolt from his groin, but he disguised it with a disgruntled, "Hmph." 

She rolled over to face him. "Seventeen." 

He glowered at her persistence, but she had provoked his interest nevertheless. 

"It was that night on Gagazet. Do you remember?" 

"I remember." He narrowed his eye furtively. "Seems like an odd time." 

"After you walked me home, I received a half-hearted lecture from Aunt Naya and I went upstairs to my room, changed into my pajamas, got into bed and—" 

"I get it." He remembered that night he'd been standing in his usual spot within the clump of juniper trees, in the backyard where he could keep an eye on her window on the lower level. Of course, when the light had gone out, he thought she'd been sleeping. 

"Sometimes I would imagine you were watching while I—" 

He cleared his throat, trying to get his wits about him. "I said I get it." 

"Other times, I would pretend I was in Jory's car again, and you would come barging in, throw Jory out and come into the backseat with me and lock the door." 

A half-smile crept onto his face as he pictured himself in place of Jory in the backseat of his car, groping Raine with the frantic abandon of a Zanarkand raised teenager. He shifted the blankets around his emergent erection. 

She smirked. "Your turn." 

Gauging her with his eye, he inhaled a long breath through his mouth and held it appraisingly, judging if he should tell her. 

She blinked. "Oh my, was I a kid?" 

"No," he snapped and then gave a torn shake of his head as he tried to remember when he stopped thinking of her as a child, which might have been sometime last week and that was hardly an exaggeration. "Your mother's funeral." 

Her head came off the pillow a fraction. "I was 14." 

"You...appealed to me." 

She wolfishly grinned. 

He rolled his eye. "Not like that. It was platonic." 

"I was such a mess that day." She jutted her jaw pitifully. "And as I recall, you were mean." 

"I know, I'm sorry." He stroked his thumb over the bumps of her knuckles. "You surprised me that day. You were so cynical for a girl your age and I kept seeing glints of myself in you." 

"That's nice, it really is, but it doesn't exactly answer my question." 

With a sigh, Auron turned on his side toward her but his sunglasses dug into the back of his ear and he took them off. Folding them neatly, he handed them to Raine and she reached back to set them on the nightstand. She snuggled back into her pillow and waited for him. Light had a muted appearance through the filter of his sunglasses and without them, her golden hair now looked on fire, as if the sun was hitting it instead of the soft lamp light on the dresser. He had to squint to look at her. 

"You were eighteen." 

She lifted her eyebrows doubtfully. "Eighteen?" 

"That day on the swings." 

Groaning, she covered her eyes. "Another bad day? Why can't you remember the days when I looked cute and was having good hair?" 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 07



"Those bad days, as you put it," he said with light grit in his voice, "were your best days of personal growth." 

He remembered them because they shaped her into the woman he would eventually care deeply for, but it didn't hurt on that day she was wearing her short cheerleading skirt and the matching tight sweater and she had touched his hair in a way that made his spine tingle. 

"Wait a second. That day on the swings, I wasn't 18 yet." 

He glared at her. "To me you were. Do you want to hear this or not?" 

"Of course, please." 

"Do you remember when you and Tidus were children and you used to play on the swings together?" 

She narrowed her eyes into wary slits. "Ye—esss." Two syllables. 

"You had difficulty swinging on your own and Tidus would let you sit on his lap so you could both pump your legs." 

"Lots of kids did that. It made the swing go higher." 

"Yes, well..." He slipped a finger between the buttons of her pajama top, stroking the dip of cleavage there. "There were no swings at the monastery where I grew up. I imagine I might need help learning to...pump." 

Something deviant burned in her cool blue eyes. "Swings, huh? You're kinky." 

"Hmph. So we've established." He raised his eyebrow sardonically. "Have my answers satisfied you?" 

"Just the opposite," she said with a suggestive curl of her lips, sliding her fingers through his chest hair. 

Laughing, he turned her hand and kissed her palm, noticing the braid of dark tissue across her wrist. Gently, he twisted her hand up to see her scar better. His scar. 

Raine's focus changed, looking at something behind him, until Auron realized she was looking at his dead eye. Her gaze followed its path from the apple of his cheek up to the side of his forehead, back down again, her expression flatly casual, like she was scanning the sports page. Remembering herself, she snapped her attention back to Auron's good eye. 

Raising her hand to his face, he softly kissed the twisted flesh before guiding her fingers up to the blind side of his face. Startled, her eyes searched his, as if to ask if he was sure, and he nodded once. 

Her breath quickened as she cupped his cheek, gravely studying his scar, outlining the wound with her thumb. Some parts he could feel, some he couldn't. Aside from his own hands, his scar had never been touched before. Propping herself on an elbow, she grazed his cheek with her nose before her lips brushed against the edge of his beard, traveling upwards to his eye, her breath hot on his cheek and temple as she licked upwards to his eye socket, swirling her soft tongue where the lids were fused together. Auron raggedly sighed, suddenly aware of a nerve linking his eye to his groin, and he groped for her under the coverlet, pulling her warm body on top of his. 

Her knees tightened around his waist, her pubic bone settling in a not unpleasant way against his erection. His hand went to the back of her neck to lower her face to his and she kissed him hard, their teeth hitting. This was his first "second time," and Auron was delighted with the urgency of it, their intense kisses, eager writhes and bold caresses. 

When she broke away, a thin spider-web of silvery spit glinted as it connected their lips and Raine's eyes were primal as she wiped her bottom lip with the back of her hand. She eased up, tugging her shirt up over her head. Without the dark screen of his glasses, her nipples appeared paler and pinker than before and there was a tender flush of arousal in her cheeks he hadn't noticed last time. Her breasts beckoned him and he sat up to kiss them, his hands tracing the spine and muscles in her back. Fingers burying in his hair, Raine bent back slightly to watch him, her breath uneven between her wet lips as she smoothly steered him to the breast that needed the most attention. 

Hardly able to stand the friction in his pants anymore, Auron fell back on his elbows. For a moment Raine looked lost and Auron offered her a hint, his eye flicking down to the tent of his arousal before arching an eyebrow at her. Grinning, Raine fumbled with his drawstrings as if opening a wrapped present and one of her hands brushed against the tip of his erection. He flinched and groaned. 

"Sorry," she mumbled. 

He was about to let her know it wasn't a groan of pain, but by then she had peeled his trousers down until he sprung free. She stopped, giving his erection a puzzled look and checking inside his pants. Auron scowled, irritated by his own insecurity. There was not a chance in hell Jory was more impressive than him. 

"Do you always go commando?" she whispered. 

"Commando?" 

"You know, without underwear?" 

"Oh," he grinned. "Always." 

With a nervous giggle, she grabbed him with both hands and kneeled down to put him in her mouth. He sharply inhaled and then lowly moaned in exhale. He nearly let his head dangle backward in pleasant relaxation, but he was fascinated by the sight of Raine cradling his balls and he didn't want to miss the occasional look she'd shoot up at him to measure his response. He resisted the urge to jerk his hips upwards, the incredible pressure of her strong tongue squeezing him against the roof of her mouth, the tugging, vacuum sensation of her sucking drawing him further into her. With a wet plop, her lips came free. 

"You're very good at that," he grumbled, hating the idea that whiney Duggle ever enjoyed her lips like that. 

With a cool smile, she rocked forward and toyed with him between her thighs, lining him up to her. She sunk down and he hissed like he was dipping into a Gagazet hot spring. Her walls were scorching, her body temperature so much higher than his, and they gasped at the same time as they acclimated to the other. Raine shivered, clenching around him and Auron lifted his knees, clutched her waist and planted his feet on the bed to drive into her. Every plunge did amazing things to her breasts. 

Like a bolt, Auron sat up, holding her against him. He tried to throw her down on the pillow without sliding out, but it couldn't be done. 

Raine squirmed to adjust to the new position. "I thought it was my turn to be on top," she breathed. 

"Next time," he rasped. "It's time I give missionary a try." He leaned back slightly to look down between her legs, her blonde pubic hair matted and dark from their fluids, and reinserted himself. Lifting up on his knees, he grabbed one of her thighs and stretched her leg back, flinging the crook of her knee over his shoulder. 

She smiled lazily. "Missionary with modifications," she said and jerked when he jammed into her. 

He experimented with different angles until he found one that made her gasp. As she smashed shut her eyes, her head pressed a deep crater into her pillow. Immediately, Auron drew out until just the tip of him remained inside. "Did I hurt you?" 

"Yes," she said breathlessly. 

Auron froze, unsure how to proceed, but she opened her eyes into thin slits, looking at him through her lashes. 

"Do it again," she whispered. 

Grinning, he kissed the side of her knee and thrust forward. Arching, her moan was nearly a scream and Auron knew he'd found the right spot again. He drove into her, his gentle bumps eliciting soft moans at first, and then he began stabbing into her. She was beyond sounds now, her fists collecting wads of his chest hair. He hissed, but didn't slow down until he felt the shudder of her orgasm. Auron pounded once more, feeling the pleasurable pinch of her cervix, spurting his own silent explosion. He crashed on top of her, exhaustively spent. 

"I'm getting sweat on you," she said between breaths and pushed on his shoulders. 

He hadn't noticed, but flopped over on his back anyway. Raine's chest was still quickly rising and falling, droplets of perspiration beading on her smooth breasts. "I need to shower again," she declared. 

Auron nodded. "Let's go." 

C-South Residence 

In the fading evening light, before the street lights were activated, Auron waited idle on the front stoop, surveying the local children as they played freeze-tag in the street. Across the road, one of the neighbors was watering his garden and another neighbor was at her mailbox, sorting through magazines and bills. Limping down the sidewalk in front of the house, an old man with his grey-muzzled dog raised his hand in amiable greeting and Auron nodded back, wishing Raine would hurry up. 

Behind him, the door finally unlatched and Auron faced Raine. She was still in her cheerleading uniform, but seemed better now since their conversation on the swings. She summoned him inside. "They said it was okay." 

"You said they wouldn't mind," Auron said. 

"They don't," she said with a simper. "I asked them." 

Auron braced himself and stepped over the threshold, into the entryway of the split-level home of Raine's great aunt and uncle, the first time he had been inside. It was humid and smelled of roasting meat. The game was on upstairs and it was intermingled with the general sounds of cooking: running water, a spoon beating the side of a sauce pan and the heavy, muffled boil of something thick. Downstairs was dark, below ground and faintly dank. 

"You can take your boots off here," Raine said, pointing down to the rug with a pile of shoes in an array of sizes. Her sneakers were already at the top of the pile. 

Auron didn't usually like taking his boots off for any reason so that he was always battle ready, but he doubted a fiend would come tearing through sleepy C-South. Leaning his sword on the wall next to a brass coat rack, he bent down to loosen the laces, then propped against the door to kick off his boots. Considering his gauntlet for a moment, he snapped it off and hung it from one of the coat-rack's hooks. 

"Can I take your coat?" she asked eagerly. 

"No. Thanks." 

Her eyes were dancing. "Do you want to see my room?" 

"I've seen it." 

"From the inside?" 

Auron hesitated, wondering the harm in humoring her, but was instantly suspicious of his own judgment to be alone with her in her room. Possibly, it was to prolong the inevitable meeting of her aunt and uncle. 

"I'm going to show Auron my room," Raine called up the stairs. 

Auron shook his head, disapproving, but she just smiled at him. What made Raine believe her aunt would think that was anything but a bad idea? 

"I'll call you when dinner's ready," the older woman answered and Auron glared up the steps at someone invisible. 

"Come on," Raine said. 

She grabbed his hand, flicked on the downstairs light, and Auron's head whipped sideways from the combination of her sharp tug and his reluctance to follow. At the foot of the stairs, they maneuvered through a cramped family room, between dusty boxes and mismatched furniture. Raine brought him to a dim hallway with a few doors, dropping his hand as she disappeared into the first dark room on the right. 

Auron stood blind in the doorway while she shuffled around the familiar room and a click later, she was bent by the lamp next her unmade bed. She snatched up a few intimate items off the floor on her way to her cluttered desk where she turned on another lamp. Auron drifted in slowly. Her bedroom smelled so sweet it was almost dizzying and he noticed a molten cluster of scented candles on top of her dresser, next to several boxes of matches. Her walls were a collage of posters, mostly punk bands, kittens and a diagram of a water molecule behind her door, but Auron halted his attention on the poster over her headboard: the center for the Zanarkand Duggles, half-nude and dripping wet. 

"That's for appearances," Raine explained, while she inconspicuously shoved the dirty underwear from the floor into the top desk drawer. "I'm a Duggle now. You can thank peer pressure for that." 

"Hmph." 

"So what do you think?" 

Auron nodded listlessly at the rest of the room. "It looks suitable." 

"Oh, I want to show you something," she said. She kneeled by her bed, lifting the dust ruffle to rummage underneath. Her short little umbrella skirt hiked up, revealing a sliver of white underwear and his shoulders shook in silent chuckle at the print of red hearts. He was looking at the undergarment of a girl, but his eye meandered a little too long at the milky white thighs of a woman. Darkening, Auron spun around to face the mirror over her dresser, quietly chastising himself. 

For distraction, he glanced over the photos tucked into the frame of her mirror, group photos of her friends, of the other cheerleaders, a couple old pictures with Tidus and some older ones of her mother and father, discolored and worn, as if folded many times. Jecht's face was rounder and more clean-shaven than when Auron knew him and his arm draped coolly over his wife's reedy shoulders. Moving on, Auron's focus wandered over to the picture of Raine with Jory, captured in a spontaneous pose when Raine had jumped on Jory's back and he was carrying her piggy-back for the camera. 

How sweet, Auron thought with a deep glare. Brainy Rainy and the boy she was having sex with. 

Where did the time go? It felt like just yesterday she was reprimanding him for stepping on sidewalk cracks, frantically upset about the condition of his mother's back. Today, he was having demonstrative fantasies of her on the swings. 

"Here they are," Raine said behind him. She had three white tubes, all different lengths, and when she handed him one, he realized it was a rolled up poster. 

"What are these?" 

"Tidus' old prints." 

Auron snapped off the rubber band, unrolled it partway and turned it right side up. It was a group photo of Tidus' old team, the Zanarkand Abes, signed by all the players in black permanent marker. 

"Those are actually all their signatures. It's actually worth a lot." She handed him another one and Auron traded her. 

"Why don't you hang them on your wall?" Auron asked rolling off another fastener. 

Her grimace was loosely disgusted. "I used to, but they made me uncomfortable, so I took them down." 

"Uncomfortable?" 

"His bedroom eyes freak me out." 

Auron unrolled the poster and realized what she was talking about. The second picture was a close-up of Tidus, the lighting filtered and dreamy, and he was as undressed as his Duggle equivalent over Raine's bed, with a very unbrotherly look on his face. Auron smirked and rolled the poster back up. "I see." 

He wasn't particularly interested the last one, but she had worked so hard to find them under her bed. It was an action shot they used to sell at the stadium vendors. 

"I've been trying to find some of my father, but those are a little harder to find." 

When she replaced the rubber bands on them all, she tossed them on her desk, then bounced on her bed and leaned back on her hands, crossing her legs by the ankles. Their eyes met for an instant before skimming to other parts of the room. He was becoming delirious from the suffocating scents of all those candles and the air vibrated as their separate chemicals mingled in the space between them, agitating in an unstable reaction. Auron didn't realize this was the first of many moments like this, fighting vile instincts and feeling subhuman for having them in the first place. 

"Dinner!" 

Aunt Naya's supper call startled them both. Auron nudged himself away from the desk and waited to follow her upstairs. She got up with a vaguely irritated look on her face, but it didn't seem completely directed at him. The air outside her bedroom was noticeably cooler. 

Raine stopped at the landing by the front door, where his katana was still leaned up against the wall and inclined conspiratorially towards him. "Whatever you do, don't mention anything about the Duggles' losing streak. It will set off my uncle." 

"I'll try to hold back," Auron said blandly and mounted the stairs two at a time after her. 

Straight ahead on the main floor, the dining table had four settings and in the steamy kitchen, Raine's Aunt Naya was reaching into one of the cupboards for a stack of four plates. She spun around, her smile genuine and beaming until her eyes rested on Auron. He tried not to notice as the woman's expression swiftly altered into something phony and remotely maniacal. 

"Aunt Naya, this is Auron," Raine introduced, apparently oblivious to the immediate shift in her aunt's nature. 

"Hello Auron," the older woman said stiffly, glancing with aggravation into the living room, where her husband was busy with the game. From where Auron stood, Raine's uncle was just a helmet of white hair over the back of his rocking armchair. 

Auron's head bobbed once in respect. "Good evening." He stopped himself before he called her "ma'am." She couldn't be that many years older than him. 

A wild grin still pasted on her face, Aunt Naya stared intensely into the living room. "Cete, come meet Raine's friend." 

"In a min—dammit! Get him!" 

Every one of Auron's muscles seized, until he foolishly realized Uncle Cetan was screaming at the screen, the audio swelling with cheers. Cetan was sitting forward in his chair, hostile from an undesirable turn-around in the game. 

There was an uncomfortable moment as the three of them stood looking at each other, and eventually Aunt Naya gestured toward the table. "Auron, why don't you have a seat?" 

Raine dragged out one of the chairs. "Sit here. This is where I usually eat," she said and skipped to the chair opposite him, against the wall. 

Slowly sitting, Auron was content to wait for the elder man, but Aunt Naya lifted a bowl of mashed potatoes and handed it to Auron. "Why don't you get us started?" 

Auron let his sleeve fall back so he could hold the bowl with both hands and flopped a generous spoonful onto his plate, passing it across the table to Raine, who was eying his uncovered arm with a deep blush as she flicked open her napkin and laid it on her lap. 

"Son of a—" Uncle Cetan muttered from the living room, as the horn on the television announced the final score. Auron assumed the Duggles had lost, one game of many, apparently. Hastily scooting in his chair, Auron gave the patriarch room to stomp by. At the head of the table, across from Raine's aunt, Uncle Cetan whipped his chair out and slumped into his seat, grumbling something about a worthless defense and Auron got his first real look at Raine's uncle. His hair was not all white, as he previously thought, but marbled black and gray, deep grooves frowning around his eyes as he offered Auron a curt nod and reached for the mashed potatoes. 

"You look familiar, Auron," Aunt Naya said. "Do I know your parents?" 

Auron opened his mouth, but Raine spoke up. "Auron's an orphan, Aunt Naya." 

"Over at St. Dolam's?" Uncle Cetan asked, jutting his thumb, apparently in the direction of St. Dolam's. 

A local orphanage, Auron assumed. 

"Bevelle, actually," Raine said, lips twitching as she met Auron's eye. Auron slanted his head formidably at her, but she was unruffled at his reproach, almost giddy, her eyes bright and gleaming with mischief. Raine waved her fork in the air and seemed to dot an imaginary "i" with it as she pointed slightly to Auron's right. Aunt Naya was holding a bowl of buttered peas in Auron's blind spot. 

Cetan reached across the table to spear a few slabs of roast. "Never heard of it." 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 07



Auron spilled a handful of peas onto his plate, passed the bowl to Uncle Cetan and as he hooked a thumb over the edge of the bowl, provided Auron with an intense double take. Initially, Uncle Cetan fixated on Auron's scar until he shot his wife a quizzical look. 

"What did you say you're name was?" Raine's uncle asked. 

"Auron," he said and Aunt Naya passed him a plate of hot rolls under a cloth napkin. 

A few silent minutes went by as the rest of the food was distributed and Auron tried to ignore the crimson fume in Uncle Cetan's pressed lips as the room's gravity plummeted. When everyone began to eat, Aunt Naya asked, "How do you know Raine, Auron?" 

"I'm a friend of her father's," Auron said quickly, before Raine could answer for him. 

"Jecht?" Uncle Cetan said and his expression looked as if he'd found a dead roach in one of his rolls. 

"Auron was my father's sponsor," Raine said. 

Flashing Raine a hard look, Auron nearly set the record straight, denying her statement, but then he couldn't think of anything to say in its place, so he let it go. 

"You must have had your work cut out for you," Aunt Naya said. 

"It wasn't easy," Auron said through his teeth. Was Raine trying to make this meeting difficult? 

"I wasn't aware he quit," Uncle Cetan said. 

"He did," Auron said without hesitation because this part was truthful. "Before he died." 

Raine dimmed, chewing her food thoughtfully. Auron avoided her gaze and concentrated on his meal, navigating forkfuls over his high collar. There was a gap in the dialogue, filled with clinking silverware, the crepitus in Uncle Cetan's jaw as he ate, and the wooden squeak when someone shifted uneasily in their chair. 

Quietly, feigning sincere interest, Aunt Naya asked, "Do you go to school...or do you work...?" 

"Neither," Auron said and left it at that. 

Naya didn't have a response and quickly took a tiny bite of potatoes, chewing quickly. 

"Do you live in C-South?" Uncle Cetan asked. 

Live? "No." 

Uncle Cetan started to question further when Raine spoke up. "My aunt and uncle both went to C-South High." 

The constant tension, which had plateaued shortly after they began to eat, sharply escalated at Raine's seemingly innocent comment. Uncle Cetan and Aunt Naya exchanged anxious glances and Auron met Raine's eyes in confusion, but she just smiled down at her plate. 

"The year my uncle graduated, my aunt was..." Raine's head lifted to look her aunt in the eye. "How old were you, Aunt Naya?" 

Someone's fork dropped firmly to a plate with a startling clank. 

"Raine," Aunt Naya said, shaking her head in quick shakes, her face rigid, as though this was rude conversation. With a sheepish glimpse at Auron, the older woman picked up her fork and picked at her roast. 

"That was different," Uncle Cetan said, low and pithily in his great niece's direction. 

Auron's eye came over the top of his rims deliberately to look over the dinner table at Raine, who had, with one question, simultaneously warned her caretakers of their hypocrisy and gave Auron a not-so-subtle hint on the direction she thought their relationship should be going. 

After absorbing a table full of glares, Raine rolled her eyes in defeat and said, "Not that it matters. Auron and I are just friends." 

Another long moment followed and Auron couldn't seem to eat fast enough. 

"Now I know where I've seen you," Aunt Naya said. "You were at my niece's funeral, weren't you?" 

"I went to make sure the children were safe," Auron said after a rather uncouth swallow of roast. "As a favor to Jecht." 

Raine rolled her eyes again when Auron said "children." 

"Oh," Cetan said, thoughtfully frowning with new understanding, his posture reproving as he leaned to Raine. "Why didn't you say that?" 

"I forgot," she said insipidly, giving Auron a dull look and slumped back in her chair, moody teen. 

Safely smirking safely behind his collar, Auron was pleased how rapidly he had gone from potential suitor to guardian in her folks' eyes. 

"Are you a Duggles fan, Auron?" Cetan asked and the strain of the situation immediately dissolved. 

Auron gazed across the table at Raine, who was picking at her dinner with her fork, and a spark of pity penetrated through his normally obdurate shield. "I am," he said. "They play dirty, but I think that's their appeal." 

Raine's eyes flicked up from her plate to Auron and then glanced obliquely at her custodians to make sure they didn't notice her shy smile. 

When dinner was over, Auron declined the offer of coffee and pie from Aunt Naya and stood to leave. Raine dropped her napkin on her plate and jumped up as well. "I'll see Auron out." 

Auron descended the stairs to the landing by the front door, lugged on his boots and collected his equipment. Raine slipped into her shoes and grabbed a sweater from the coat rack before flicking on the porch light. It had gotten dark outside during the meal. When they were alone on the front stoop, Auron swung around to chide her for the position she'd cornered him in during dinner, but she was pulling on his bare arm, leading him further into the yard. 

"Where do you stand?" she asked. 

"On what?" 

She grinned. "Where do you stand when you watch me?" 

He considered her, debating. 

"The yard is only half an acre, Auron. If I want to know, I'm going to find out." 

He nodded upwardly. "Back here." He led her around the side of the house, to the copse of landscaping junipers by the privacy fence separating their yard from the neighbors. He slid in between two bushy trees, tramping back to the spot he found to have the most cover. 

"Cozy," she said looking around, although they were shrouded in darkness. She faced the lit house. Aunt Naya was in the window where the sink was and Uncle Cetan was carrying over dishes. "My aunt can't see you?" 

"If she can, she's never shown it." 

Raine was quiet for a few moments, stepping close to him so she could study the house. "You really can see right into my room." 

"When the curtains are open." Usually she closed the blinds on the weekends when she didn't have to wake up as early. 

"Of course." She glanced up at him carefully. "How much can you see?" 

He glowered. "My vision is better than you think," he said sharply. 

Raine flashed him a contrite look. "I didn't mean—" She shook her head and didn't finish. "Nothing. Nevermind." 

Auron realized what she meant and felt like an asshole. He inwardly sighed and relaxed his tone. "I'm familiar enough with your routine to know when to look away." 

Her nod was unreadable. A warm breeze rustled the scaly evergreen leaves around them as they watched Aunt Naya wash the dishes and Uncle Cetan wipe down the table and slide it back against the wall. 

Recalling something that had been bothering him, he smiled curiously down at Raine. "So how old was your aunt Naya?" 

"Huh?" she asked, unable to peel her eyes off the mundane activities in her own house. 

"When your uncle graduated from C-South. How old was your aunt?" He ventured a guess out loud. "Three or four years old?" 

With a sidetracked glimpse, Raine said, "Thirty-three." 

Auron had never gaped in his life, but his jaw dropped like a weight was tied to his chin. "You're lying." 

She giggled. "You thought my uncle was the older one?" 

"Isn't he?" 

"Chestnut 51," she said, shrugging carelessly, gazing back over to her house. She said it as if that was the answer to all questions. 

Auron frowned. "I don't understand." 

"It's her color dye. For her hair. It makes her look 20 years younger." 

"I'll say," Auron said, slightly beside himself as he pondered this. His eye was pulled to the sliding glass door by the deck as her Uncle Cetan's full frame became a forbidding silhouette against the light in the kitchen as he searched the back yard, arms folded sinisterly. 

"I think that's my cue," Raine said. "Thanks for today. You're a good listener." 

A hug followed. It was unexpected, clumsy and over too soon. Without another word, she was ducking out of the trees, running back to the house. Uncle Cetan floated away from the patio door, back to the living room to watch the Blitzball highlights. Auron faintly heard the slide of the door on its rollers as she went inside. She said something to her aunt, who looked up from her dishes. The older woman nodded, picked up a towel to dry her hands, and Raine took her place in the window above the sink as she took over dish-duty. Her aunt joined her uncle in front of the holographic screen. Auron speculated this was done to impress him somehow, since Raine had never volunteered to do dishes before. 

When the dishes were done, Raine shut off the kitchen light and passed by the patio window. She paused at the top of the stairs to say something to her custodians and headed downstairs, out of sight. Auron's eye traveled diagonal across the back of the house to her bedroom window, still lit from when they were there earlier, and a moment later, the door opened wider and she strode into her room. She avoided looking out the window and headed to the corner where her bed couldn't be seen and Auron waited patiently for her to come into view again. There were times she was on her bed for hours, reading or chatting with a friend on a commsphere, so this was not uncommon. But she was visible again a few minutes later, at the window, closing the curtains. 

Hmph. That didn't take long. 

To entertain himself, he glanced back to the living room. Her aunt and uncle were still watching a recap of the Blitzball game, quiescent in their chairs. Auron leaned against the fence, brooding over the consequences of showing her his usual post, until her curtains split open again. She had changed into loungewear, a pink tank top and purple running shorts, which she would eventually sleep in. She opened her closet door, which blocked nearly half the window, and busied herself inside for another few minutes. When she approached the window again, her hand came up to fiddle with the locks and release the window. 

"Auron!" she hissed across the yard. 

Auron came quickly, only so she didn't say his name again and risk her parental guardians hearing. As soon as she saw him, she delved into her closet again and Auron immediately grew wary. He lowered down to one knee at her open window. There was music playing low in her room and he could hear commotion in the closet. 

"Raine?" he whispered. 

"One sec." 

Auron checked the dark yard for nosy neighbors. Raine came out of the closet, covered neck to ankle in a shimmering yellow gown and a perfectly square graduation cap with a black and gold fringe swinging against the side her face. She made a showy "ta-da!" gesture, her hands shaking like tambourines, and he snorted. 

"Graduation's in two months," she said, leaning her arms on the chest-height windowsill. "You're coming, right?" 

He tilted his head, evincing an ironic look. 

"You can't miss my valedictorian speech." 

"I won't," he promised. 

"Every student gets four seats, I think. You can sit next to my aunt and uncle. You can talk to my uncle about Blitzball." 

Auron didn't say anything. He was sure a decline would diminish her upbeat mood. 

"Do you want to come in?" she asked, swinging the window wider. 

Badly. 

"I'll be fine out here." 

"Are you sure? My uncle and aunt never come down here, not since the laundry was moved to the main floor." 

She misinterpreted his hesitation as a silent scolding. 

"Okay, okay. Look, I'll leave the window unlocked. In case it ever starts to rain or if you just want to talk." 

"Lock your window," Auron said. 

"But—" 

"Don't argue. You'll be safe from—" 

Me. 

"—prowlers." 

"I thought you kept me safe from prowlers?" 

"Do your homework," he said sternly and walked back to his spot in the trees before she could respond. He heard the windows shut on his way. 

Back in his thicket of junipers, Auron situated to run on idle for the remainder of the night. Raine sat dutifully at her desk, studying. 

Auron had to remind himself it wouldn't always be like this. Her crush on him would eventually disappear. Right now, school was slowing down to give her time to apply to colleges, but life would pick up again when her higher education commenced. She was feeling disillusioned by the people she had considered her friends and soon she would make new friends, who would take up most of her time. And judging by their conversation on the swings, she would be a little more critical this time when choosing them. He also speculated a proposal would be in her near future, which wouldn't make Tidus very happy, but there was nothing Auron could do about it. 

Was there? 

His thoughts were interrupted as the house began to darken. Aunt Naya and Uncle Cetan had turned off the lights and gone to bed. Soon, Raine put away her homework and started her nightly routine, disappearing into the bathroom across the hall and returning with a freshly washed face and brushed hair. A new move had been added to her routine, however, a short wave in Auron's direction, before the lights blinked off. He smiled without humor at her good-night gesture, suddenly losing himself in contemplation. 

It occurred to Auron he could use Raine's attraction to him to permanently remove Jory from the picture. It might even be advantageous when it was time to take her to Spira. 

Auron scowled at the idea and shook his head. 

Unless...



Everything Looks Better Ch. 08



Room 4, Rin's Travel Agency, Macalania 

The shower ended up lukewarm. It had to be; too much hot water was scalding to Auron, too much cold made Raine's teeth chatter. 

"I'll get out," Auron said and started to pull back the bleach-white shower curtain, propping a foot on the edge of the tub. The hair on his legs looked like inky streaks. 

She tugged his elbow. "No, please." 

Wet hair lying flat on his forehead, Auron arched an eyebrow. "I'm ruining your shower." 

"Just let me turn up the hot a little." She turned and leaned over to fiddle with the faucet controls, the bite of cool spray on her lower back fading to a bearable tepid. Over her shoulder, she asked, "How's that?" 

The rhythm of water beating on porcelain changed as he approached her. His hand pressed gently on her back, fingers splayed, his other hand slid around her hip. Then there was the velvety poke between her thighs. 

"May I?" he rasped, kissing her back. 

She grinned. "Again?" 

Chuckling, Auron rubbed his scratchy stubble on her shoulder blades. "Can't keep up with an old man?" 

Her jaw dropped playfully over her shoulder, resenting the implication her stamina was below average, even though she was feeling a little tender between her legs. Mostly the soreness felt good, but it was still an ache, suggesting some superficial vaginal tearing and chafing from their rough undertakings. But she wasn't about to be shown up and nudged backward against him. 

"Hold onto something," Auron warned. 

Shower over, Raine wrapped herself in a towel and secured it in place with a strategic tuck, noticing with a faint smile how red and raw her neck and breasts were from Auron's whiskers. Auron stood naked in front of the sink, running his towel under his arms and his amber eye met hers in the mirror, creasing when he smiled. As she walked by, gingerly on account of the recent ramming she'd received, Auron snatched her from behind and nestled his face in the crook of her shoulder. His curling body language suggested a fourth round. 

"You're insatiable," she laughed. 

"Would you like me to get you a potion?" 

"What for?" 

"What do you think?" 

Raine slowly smiled in vague wonder. "...Really? I thought those were just for fiend injuries." 

She could feel him smile on her neck as he murmured, "Potions cure all types of battle wounds." 

She giggled. "I think I can handle it. Besides, my body knows how to heal itself." 

"Not fast enough," he said and peppered the side of her throat with kisses. 

She could get used to this Auron. But before she did, there were other matters pressing on her conscience, ever since Auron mentioned the promiscuities from his early life. She couldn't respect herself if she didn't at least bring it up. "I've been meaning to ask you something." 

"I'll consider answering," he said, nuzzling behind her ear. 

"Consider seriously if you expect to see what's under this towel again." 

He chuckled. "What is it?" 

She took in a big breath to brace herself. "I might be a little late on this, but...are you safe?" 

Auron pulled back. 

Oops. Too serious. 

Raine craned her neck back to see his expression, to get a sense of what he was thinking, but she could only see the underside of his jaw. Carefully, she said, "I've never lapsed on my yearly physicals. Have you?" 

Behind her, he laughed. Hard. Her whole body shook with his deep chortle and she grinned uncertainly, unsure if he was laughing with or at her. His elbow came up to her throat as if to choke her, but the embrace was loose and affectionate. As he began to control his amusement, she felt the smack of a firm kiss on the back of her head. "I'm safe." 

Realizing she had stiffened her posture, she relaxed against him. She was not looking forward to a follow up conversation had he answered anything different. 

His whiskers prickled her cheek as he rested his face on hers. "From everything." 

Before she could interpret that last part, Auron reached down and patted the towel where her belly was. She smiled dryly at her stomach. She hadn't even thought of that. Anxious to start her family, she had let her birth control run out shortly before her wedding at the Drake's house. 

"That's a relief," she said, but it was perfunctory and sounded dreadfully hollow. She couldn't decide if it was because Auron was infertile or because she would be leaving the world childless. It was hardly fair to start new life when hers would be ending soon. 

Auron's face shifted to look at her, no doubt sensing a change in her, and Raine rushed to change the subject. 

"Did you happen to pack me anything slightly less suffocating to sleep in?" 

"Nope," he said and sounded smug in spite of himself. "Go ahead and take the bed tonight." 

Raine spun around. "You're not sleeping with me?" 

"I'll be fine in the chair. You need your rest and I can't guarantee you'll get it if I'm in bed with you." 

"We shared a bed once before and just slept," Raine reminded. 

Auron started to slant his head in question, but the recollection of it hit him first and his lips quirked. "You slept," he said. "I was in my own private hell." 

Little more than a year before her ocean-side wedding, Uncle Cetan died of a stroke. For the first time ever, Raine had to ask Colton from work to cover post-game interviews so she could be with her aunt at the hospital. Although Aunt Naya knew it was possible, she wasn't prepared to outlive her husband and took Uncle Cetan's death with difficulty. Raine was afraid to leave her alone until after the funeral. Raine spent so much time taking care of her aunt in those few days—the least she could do after Aunt Naya had taken her in—that she had little time to grieve by herself. 

The first night back in the houseboat, Raine was prepared to cry herself to sleep, but even after she was cried out, sleep wouldn't come. She was physically and mentally exhausted from the last few days of funeral arrangements and meeting her uncle's family for the first time. It was a great relief to be home and she looked forward to going back to work and jumping back into her normal routine, but she couldn't seem to stop staring at the clock on her bedside table. Eventually she got up to make herself some tea, but found herself bypassing the kitchen and heading into Auron's room. 

It had not been easy to get Auron to accept the room and she had to give most of the credit to the unusually severe monsoon season, but the room had formally become his only after they discussed the parameters of their living arrangement. On his first official night at the houseboat, Raine was going to make his bed for him, but Auron had assured her if his 21 years at the monastery had taught him anything, it was how to make a bed. Since then, Raine had only been inside the room a few times to collect his sheets for washing. 

Auron was a private man, but he always left his door wide open. Better to detect noises, she guessed. Like the rest of the rooms at the time, the hard pink insulation and studs were exposed, but the brace remained for his sword and there was a hook on the back of the door for his cloak and she knew he kept the sword sharpening kit under the bed, but Auron was accustomed to living austerely and had few personal items. On the unfinished floor was a narrow slant of artificial light, which came in through the gaps in the privacy curtains. Although she had tried to be quiet, Auron rolled over in his bed when she came in. He was lying on top of the covers and still had on his leather cuirass, but his glasses were on the nightstand. It was too dark to see his expression. 

She had no real idea why she was there. Probably, she would have asked Auron if he wanted tea because she was going to make some anyway, if he hadn't already grabbed the edge of the blankets and lifted them as a silent invite. 

Jory had made an appearance at the funeral, held her hand during the service, but there was more to death than just the funeral. It was Auron who stood with her at the hospital, helped her select a tasteful coffin, and stayed within reach during the repast meal after the funeral. Of course, it was his job to watch her, this was not lost on Raine, but when he offered his bed to her, she knew he would have been there even if he didn't have to be. 

As she crawled into his tiny bed, he scooted over to give her room and wrapped the blankets around her. His bed was warm and so was he as his comfortable weight behind her put her at ease. If she hadn't been so tired, she might have spent half the night fretting about her next move, but she was tired and fell asleep almost instantly. He remained above the covers through the night and was still there in the afternoon when she finally woke up. However, he hadn't been there the entire time. He had left briefly to call the network and inform her boss she was taking one more day off and then went to buy fresh bagels for breakfast. He had managed to sneak back into the bed without her waking, which couldn't have been easy since his side was against the wall. 

"I have a faint memory of waking before it was light," Raine said, situating the towel around her body. "Were you stroking my hair, or did I dream that?" 

"To be honest," Auron said, gravelly and serious, "I thought that whole night had been a dream." 

Raine's laugh was nervous, sounding more like a maniacal cackle as she tried to downplay what was probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to her. In a million years she never thought Auron would say something like that and she distrusted its authenticity. "You finish up in here. I'm going to see what I can find to sleep in." 

"Wait," he said and picked up the garter still sitting next to the sink. He slipped it into her hand. "Put this on." 

She ran a hand through her wet hair to gather it for a ponytail. 

"Not there," he smiled. "Put it on where it's supposed to go." 

"Why?" 

He darkened. "You'll see." 

Raine turned to leave but was stopped in her tracks by a loud crack! as Auron swatted her ass. Smiling incredulously over her shoulder, Raine was speechless as Auron grinned at her, triumphant, and went to the sink to turn on the faucet. She definitely liked this Auron. 

Dropping her towel by the dresser, Raine sifted through the top drawer, which was full of socks and underwear. Raine realized most of it was clearly meant for her, since of course Auron didn't wear underwear, and even if the brief style was practical and lacked frills, they were new and came in a multitude of colors. Coming across a bra, Raine held it up for inspection, noting it was just as plain as the other articles, but had an underwire and was curiously just her size. Raine suspected Auron had gone through her drawers back at the houseboat while she was at work. The second drawer was filled with more hastily folded pants and tunics, an abundance of wardrobe options. 

"We're not taking all these clothes with us, are we?" 

"We'll take only what we need. In Besaid, after you've completed your first trial, you'll be fitted for Summoner's habiliments," Auron called from the bathroom. 

Raine cringed at the word "fitted," having some very bad memories involving a snug wedding dress and a particularly frazzled seamstress in Zanarkand. "One's like Dona's?" she grinned. 

In the bathroom, there was only the hiss of water in the sink. Raine wasn't sure if Auron had heard her and she stopped, waiting for an answer. Was there a "hmph" she didn't hear? 

Finally he replied, "Your brother would use my head for Jecht Shot practice." 

Raine giggled. "What about my wedding dress?" 

Another pause. "What about it?" 

Surely it wasn't necessary to take, but she felt funny leaving it. It was her wedding dress. Maybe she could ask Rin if he would store it for her, but what was the sense in that? She had a Guardian who never failed a pilgrimage, so she probably wouldn't be back for it. 

"Do you think Rin would buy it?" she asked. 

"I don't think white is his color." 

"I mean to sell in his store!" 

He chuckled. "I'll bring it to him in the morning and see what he says." 

"Be careful with it this time," she said, remembering how Auron had kicked it into the closet this morning. "If you feel the need to treat my dress roughly, first make sure I'm in it." 

"That can be arranged," he laughed. 

In case she didn't make it far enough for Summoner's robes, Raine made a point to bring versatile clothes with her. It had occurred to her plenty of times tonight she might not have the ability to claim an Aeon. What happened then? Auron would leave her and find a Summoner worthy of his time. 

But she had to fight Sin. She was supposed to. Sin was her brother and it wouldn't be right for anyone else to defeat him. 

If she couldn't summon an Aeon, then she would ask Auron to teach her other skills. Maybe she could learn to use a sword and become a Guardian herself. Certainly he knew of a Summoner who could use their help. Hopefully someone besides Dona, although how could Raine not support anyone who was willing to risk their life to end her brother's suffering? Of course, there was still the matter of the Final Summoning. If Raine and Auron joined someone else's pilgrimage, there was the possibility the Summoner would choose neither of them to become the next Sin and even if it happened, Yunalesca could veto it if there was a stronger bond present, like with Yuna and Tidus. Raine couldn't let another cycle slip by. How many pilgrimages did Auron have left in him? 

And if somehow Auron was chosen as Sin and accepted... Raine had learned the hard way no man was worth suicide, but she would not want to live if Auron was dead. 

Finding nothing suitable for sleeping in, Raine swiftly slammed the dresser drawer, and the little vases sitting on top chimed together, the same as this morning, and Raine remembered their conversation. 

Will I get a title for beating Sin? 

They will call you High Summoner Raine. 

Nice ring. 

And then Auron had slammed the drawer so hard, the vases wobbled. He didn't want to talk about it then, either, she realized. 

No more thinking. There would be plenty of time for that later. Tonight, she would only focus on sleeping with Auron. Just sleeping. She had a feeling it would take a lot of effort. 

Still naked, she rotated around to pick up her towel, her eyes catching on Auron's cloak, draped over a stool by the table. With a devious grin, she shook it open and slipped into it, the fabric smooth and sheeny on her bare skin, and she worked at clasping the straps on the loose sleeve before fastening the double buckles to the sash at her waist. It was still big on her and the front did not close all the way, leaving an indecent amount of cleavage, clear down to her belly button, but hiding her nipples at least. As a final touch, she widened the garter and stepped into it, hiking it up to her thigh. She would not earnestly try to pass it off as Summoner's robe or even leave the room dressed this way, but she thought Auron might enjoy seeing her in it. She was primed for a fourth round, if Auron discovered he couldn't help himself; it was difficult to resist him when he asked so politely. 

"Auron, can you come here for a sec?" she called, unable to stifle the smile on her face. 

"Just a minute," he said. Auron grooming in the bathroom: so weird. 

Stepping over to the full length mirror on the closet door, she blushed at her reflection even though she was wearing three times as much material as Summoner Dona. She wasn't even sure she could manage the first few steps in a simple sending dance without something popping out and to make sure, she made a grand sweeping motion with her arms, miming the staff in her hands. It was easier without the staff, but she felt utterly ridiculous in the mirror and promptly stopped. 

Auron's strangled cry from the bathroom chilled her blood. 

Behind her, Auron collided with the frame of the bathroom door. His black linen trousers were on, but not tied. "Raine, stop," he husked. 

Her feet tangled with the hem of the cloak as she crossed the room. When she was close, Auron fell against her, flinging an arm around her shoulder. His other hand was on the knob of the bathroom door, struggling to close it quickly, but not before she glimpsed a small swarm of pink and green Pyreflies dancing delicately on the ceiling, moments before the fan sucked them into the ventilation ducts. 

"Was there a fiend in there?" she asked. Something small, she pictured, like a wasp or an iguion lounging behind the toilet where it was moist, but a fiend wouldn't make Auron scream like that. She began checking his body for injuries. 

Clutching a wad of red cloak, he tugged her down to the floor with him as he sunk to his shaking knees. He was looking down to her empty hands, mystified. "Where's your staff?" 

Raine's stomach made a sudden dive as she remembered the rules of the sending dance. "Oh, Auron. You said never indoors and never with your back turned...but I thought that was if I was holding the staff—" 

His eye darted to the corner of their room where their weapons were leaned. "You did that without your staff?" 

"Did what? The sending dance?" she asked, tears obscuring her vision. "Just the first couple steps." 

As his blenched face contorted in pain, the heel of his hand flew up to his head, pushing firmly on his temple. Raine's hands flailed helplessly for a moment before she sought out the pockets in his cloak, hunting for spare potions. Auron seemed to read her mind, swaying his head no. "They won't help." 

"Then what do I do?" 

Lowering his eyes to hers, his almost drunken gaze lacked center. "Distract them." 

"Wha—" 

He interrupted her with a hard kiss, lips crushing lips, and she squeaked in protest. How could he think of sex now, when a fiend had been in the room? How did it get in? And what if there were more? 

She jerked her head back. "Auron—" 

"Quiet," he murmured and moved in to press his mouth on her again. 

Insulted, she recoiled. "Excuse me?" 

Scowling down at his cloak on her, he fumbled with the belt. "Why are you wearing this?" 

"Wait, slow down—" 

He opened the cloak to expose her and pushed his trousers down to free himself, "I need you. Now." 

"Not until you talk to me," she said, straining with her last line of defense as Auron fought to unpin her knees. "Show me." 

"Show you what?" he grumbled. 

"Your card." 

He looked vaguely annoyed. "What card?" 

"The one up your sleeve," she said through her teeth. "The one you don't even want me to know you have." 

Emoting silent agony, his fists pounded the sides of his head as some internal madness tormented him. Raine was able to sit up a little, but the spike of terror as she witnessed his anguish rendered her mute. The man had done so much for her in Zanarkand and she would do anything to ease his pain, but she could hardly see how sex— 

"Fuck the cards!" he suddenly screamed and Raine flinched as if he'd struck her. "I'm coming apart, Raine, now open your legs!" 

In slow amazement, Raine's chin dropped in a soundless gasp, bright orbs reflecting off the tears standing idle in her wide eyes. Propping up on her hands, she positioned herself to better see the Pyreflies as they spiraled up from behind Auron in all directions. In a state of utter shock, her body loosened, became malleable, and she was only vacantly aware as Auron shoved her legs apart. The battle waging inside him had apparently subsided and he was catching his breath, his amber eye pleading with her for consent. 

With minimal comprehension of what was happening, she dumbly nodded. 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 08



"I apologize in advance," he grated, impaling her as though his life depended on it, immediately driving into a rhythm and Raine locked her teeth together to hold in a scream. Their friction was harsh at first without the lubrication of foreplay. 

While Auron thrust his way to his own selfish objective, Raine found herself mesmerized by the pink and green bubbles in their purposeless drift around the ceiling. She forgot herself, everything else fading away into the background. The walls, the bed, the floor all dropped from sight, leaving only those beautifully hypnotizing balls of clear colors, innocent and almost playful in their delicate collisions. Somehow, their presence was her fault, but she couldn't piece it together. The Summoner dance made Pyreflies out of dead fiends, but there were no fiends here...were there? 

"Don't look at them," he said gruffly and grabbed her chin. "Look at me." 

She met his eye without seeing him, allowing her body to be jostled by Auron's tempo, her butt cheeks burning from the scuff of the rug. But now his pumps were weakening, his penis softening inside her as he made an ugly grimace, bearing his teeth soundlessly. Exhausted, he dropped forward, planting his hands on the floor above her shoulders as his hips began to lose momentum. Three more Pyreflies appeared, lazily floating up to the ceiling. 

Distract them. 

Raine blinked and focused on Auron with fresh concentration. 

Distract them. 

Clamping her vagina, Raine clinched her legs around his waist, pushing up on her elbows. "Flip," she snapped. 

Collapsing sideways, Auron gripped her hips and the motion was almost like correcting an overturned kayak as Raine managed to hang on to him with her knees, using abdominal muscles she didn't know she had to swing up on top of him. Letting the cloak slide down her arms, she tossed it aside, situated for better traction, bracing against his chest with the flat of her hands. She commenced a quick, steady rhythm, commanding his eye contact. 

"Stay with me," she ordered. 

Another stray Pyrefly appeared out of nowhere, an extension of Auron's body, skipping a path of dry, icy kisses up the front of her, sending shivers to her spine, her skin prickling with bumps, her nipples hardening. It brushed by her cheek, whispered something inarticulate in her ear and was gone. A moan came out of her before she could stop it. 

Raine didn't expect a fourth orgasm, since previous to this night they had been most commonly accidental, feigned, or self-generated, but she shifted slightly, plummeting with purpose as she felt the footing of an upcoming climax. At first she was afraid distracting them might mean an erotic performance of sorts, but as Auron followed her with a hungry eye, she knew she just needed to contribute. Soon, Auron began driving with confidence, his hips lifting off the floor, jouncing her into a solid beat, his lips parting in pant. She had not seen another Pyrefly since the last one made her moan. 

Her orgasm began as shy trickle of release, followed by a wild cascade of flailing control and guttural pleas, the sight of which made Auron retreat inward to claim his own relief. The muscles bulged in his neck and his back arched off the rug. The frosty discharge was both familiar and anticipated now, yet Raine still winced when he came and her final shudder was the competing result of opposing sensations. She dipped forward in a fuss of apologetic kisses and Auron's drowsy lips struggled to keep up. 

"Come here," he mumbled, the strength and authority in his voice was replaced with something lethargically fragile. 

He shifted sideways under her and she tumbled to the floor, cuddling close to him, her nose buried in his chest hair. Her eyes immediately closed and she couldn't explain why she was afraid to open them. For a moment she just listened to his breathing as he wrestled to subdue it, tangling his limbs around her. 

"Are you cold?" he whispered. 

She realized she was violently trembling, her back muscles aching from the relentless seizing. "No." 

But you are. 

One of his arms left her for a moment and she heard the hiss of blankets as Auron dragged the coverlet from the bed and snuggled it around them. It didn't stop the shaking. 

"Auron—" she croaked. 

"No questions," he rumbled. "I'm tired. Let me sleep for a bit." 

Raine burrowed her face deeper into his chest and the thick wad in her throat made it hard to talk. "Don't leave." 

He weakly chuckled. "I'm not going anywhere. You're my anchor." 

Anchor? That sounded like a lot to live up to. 

Auron's legs and arms slacked around her, his breathing relaxed and deep. Raine tried to let sleep take her, but her heart was pounding too much to unwind and another vicious tremor put a kink in her back. Auron was lousy at keeping her warm. Carefully, she slid out of his arms, dragging her legs out from under his. 

Overhead, the final Pyrefly finally bumped its way around the room to join the others and they bopped around the ceiling in a loose cloud. Raine shut her eyes to them, feeling ill, but she could still hear their whispering. If she listened carefully, she could hear the rustling beat of conversation, but she couldn't understand the words. 

She hunted down her pajamas, which wasn't easy. She remembered her bottoms were in the bathroom, but her top was a little more of a challenge. After kneeling down on the other side of the bed, she found it had been kicked under the bed and she wrestled it over her head right away. Her pretty white underwear was crammed underneath one of the pillows at the head of the bed, but they were a little ripe, so she hid them at the bottom of the top dresser drawer and selected another pair of the clean briefs Auron had bought for her. 

She cleaned up on the toilet, realizing with a groan why Auron felt so cold inside her. It was so obvious now. She was usually smarter than this, but it was like she didn't want to see it or was suppressing it or something. Something else popped into her mind and she covered her face with both hands, propping her elbows on her knees as she whimpered in mortification. That day at her mother's funeral, she told Auron she didn't believe in zombies. She said it so arrogantly like a know-it-all and she thought she was being funny about it. But as she recalled, it was the only time that day she thought she saw him smile. Auron wasn't so thin-skinned to be easily offended. And how was she expected to know? 

Flushing the toilet, Raine stepped into fresh underwear, but removed the garter from her thigh for the second time and set it next to the sink. Whatever game Auron wanted to play with it, she wasn't in the mood. She shook the wrinkles out of her pajama bottoms before jumping into them and then stood in the door way to check on Auron. His head was lying on his own arm and he was still sleeping. It was strange to see. She had never seen him sleep before, so ordinary, face drooping, lips separated. He was startlingly vulnerable. 

How long was he going to sleep? She wondered if she should try to wake him but then decided against it. She needed some sleep, too. When he did finally wake up, she needed to be well rested for the conversation that would follow. 

She ran the tap in the bathroom and washed her hands, avoiding her reflection in the mirror. She didn't want to face herself and she could tell from the vague outline her hair was atrocious. 

Unsent, she thought, and it was like she was realizing for the first time what the word entailed. No wonder he stood so far away while she practiced the sending dance in Macalania Woods. He didn't want to be accidentally sent. Did that mean he was a fiend? No, of course not. That didn't happen until later, when they were finally overcome with envy of the living. 

Drying her hands on the towel, Raine smiled. She would have to remind herself not to rub it in so much that she was alive. She wouldn't want to make him jealous and have him turn into a fiend. She giggled at the thought and wondered what kind of fiend he would be. She knew it would be something big, grumpy and cyclopean and would probably have horns with skunk-streaked patches of fur. Snickering out loud, Raine tried to smother it with a hand, but she couldn't contain it. Afraid she would wake Auron, she fell against the door to close it. The hilarity of the situation was irrepressible and she slid down the door to the floor as she continued laughing, snaking her arms around her belly to hug herself and that's when she realized she wasn't laughing. She wasn't laughing at all. 

Tightening her arms around her stomach, Raine sobbed uncontrollably, trying to self-soothe the lonely ache in her, the all-too-familiar pain of loving someone who would eventually leave her. 

Spent, Raine let the back of her head hit the bathroom door with a hollow whump. Nature's best exfoliator, the drying tears made her face taut; her eyes burned and she could feel a headache coming on from the dehydration. But it was the laughing in the next room that made her start. 

Auron. He was awake. 

Scrambling to her feet, she swung open the door. Auron was on the floor, still asleep. He hadn't moved an inch since she last saw him. 

She heard the laugh again, an eerily cheerful sound, and the impossibility of it made her taste fear, a metallic residue on the back of her tongue. Stepping out of the bathroom, she gave the room a paranoid glance to confirm she was alone. 

"You know, when I was a kid, I had such a crush on you," someone said. 

Raine yelped, covering her mouth to contain her fright. 

Contemplating the likelihood it was her own delighted madness, Raine heard the laughing again, this time straight above her. Raine craned her neck to look up at the butting Pyreflies on the ceiling. Through their attraction, they became agitated, jockeying for space, and an aura of colorful, embodying light filled the spaces between them with transparent images, too faint to easily see. 

With an irritable glance at the lamp on the dresser, Raine approached and fumbled under the shade until she found the switch. The room darkened, except for the Pyreflies' festively colorful mood lighting. Together, the Pyreflies became a kind of projector, skipping through parts of a movie, both the picture and sound caught in a repeating loop. The movie was of her. Sleeping, talking, smiling, laughing and one where she was making a terrible face to be funny, all shot in different perspectives, different times, different ages, different clothes. 

"You know, when I was a kid, I had such a crush on you," she said to the camera, dressed in her cheerleading uniform, standing on the sidewalk at night, just outside her great aunt's house in C-South. More images flitted by, the sound of her own laughing ringing in the room. 

Raine dragged her eyes away to look at Auron, lightly snoring against his arm. Was he dreaming? Was she watching him dream on the projection of his own Pyreflies? 

No, no, no. Not dreams. She was just a child when Auron had told her—told Tidus, actually, while she was eavesdropping—that they were visions of the past. Pyreflies contained memories. In this case, Auron's memories, filtered in the off-white tint of his sunglasses. 

Abruptly, the movie quit, the molecules becoming instable as the cloud drifted over the bed. Raine stumbled as she followed them, bending her neck rather unnaturally to see the picture as it briefly dimmed then brightened as another scene faded in. Crawling up on the bed, she kneeled in the center of it, her hands in her lap as she gazed straight up. 

A smoky void of darkness emerged in the center of the Pyreflies' haze and Raine realized it wasn't emptiness, but Auron's recollection of a dark place. Human shapes darted through his vision, too fast for Raine to identify and Raine felt a dip of vertigo as flashes of lemon yellow crossed the screen. 

"This is far enough," said a voice, male, too smooth to be Auron's. 

The sway of Auron's vision slowed for a moment then swung grandly sideways, through a murky cavern of collapsed, broken pillars and mounds of destruction. A small, distant cluster of people came into view, but it was just a confirmatory glance, to make sure he hadn't been followed, and the inside of Auron's sunglasses swept back to the swatch of yellow in front of him. Someone was wearing a yellow jacket with a dirty white hood, his shaggy blond hair shaking as he spun around to face Auron. 

Raine whimpered and covered her mouth in disbelief. Tidus. Her older brother was younger than she was now, but it was him, from the past. 

Auron's field of vision merely bobbed up to Tidus' face, as though he were unable to look her brother in the eye and Raine became frustrated, willing Auron to settle his gaze more definitely on Tidus so she could at least look at her brother. It had been a long time since she had seen him and she didn't remember her brother looking so strong. He fidgeted less, his stance near stoic. But even during Auron's too-brief peek upon on his face, Raine could see Tidus' eyes shining with emotion. 

The depressing hue of Auron's sunglasses exasperated her. Is that how Auron preferred to see the world? 

"You remember my sister, don't you Auron?" 

"Of course." Auron's voice sounded peculiarly muffled, vibratory, what he might sound like in his head. 

"What will happen to Raine when the fayth stop dreaming?" 

Fayth? Did he mean the hooded boy in the book of Summoning, the boy she saw on the bus in Zanarkand? Why would that boy's dreams have anything to do with her? 

Auron's gaze swiftly lifted to Tidus' face. He didn't say anything, but the silver chain around Tidus' neck shifted as he lowered his head in defeat, as if Auron had answered with a simple facial expression. 

"I was hoping to find a way to bring her here, but—" Tidus swallowed hard, Auron keeping only a wedge of Tidus' face in his vision. Then Tidus raised his head, searching passed Auron, regally holding the tears as they welled in his eyes. 

Following Tidus' gaze, Auron's vision swept through the dim cavern and Raine recognized the glowing tails of other Pyreflies drifting around the ruins. There was something familiar to Raine about the broken statues in the background, the ripped wallpaper, the paneled walls and the arched hallway. 

Again, the picture settled on the group of people behind Auron, this time long enough for Raine to distinguish between them. Three of them crouched in mournful prayer, another was audibly sobbing as she paced and a majestic, shadowy figure, which Raine couldn't see right away, except for its glowing yellow eyes. A Ronso. 

They were the people from Auron's last pilgrimage and Raine quickly sought out Lulu, barely visible in her dark furs and strange leathery skirt with the ambiguous lattice design. She was the dark one. The one too dark for Auron. She was kneeling next to Yuna, who Raine only recognized because of her Summoner's robe, and a stocky, red-headed man in Blitzball shorts. Raine confirmed Lulu's beauty, her long, raven hair, purple lips and dark eyes and realized Auron must have been an ass-man to overlook breasts like hers. 

The scene made another sickening sidelong sweep, resting on Tidus and the whole camera dipped once; a nod. "I'll find a way to bring your sister here." 

"I can't ask you to do that, Auron, you've already done so much," Tidus whispered and slanted his head at Auron. "Ever consider retirement, old man?" 

Old man. Tidus said it with a husk of endearment, not with the usual bitterness when he was referring to their father. 

"Hmph. Never." 

Tidus stared at Auron miserably, a tear dropping unceremoniously on his cheek. "Serious?" 

Auron said nothing. 

With a sigh, Tidus went on, shaking his head. "I have to do this. Yuna...I—I can't live without her, you know?" 

"Hmph," Auron said and Raine knew Auron most definitely did not know. 

"And—" Tidus smashed shut his eyes, forcing a definitive nod. "It's the right thing to do." 

Auron snorted. "Your father said those exact words at this junction in the pilgrimage. He had hoped becoming Sin would give his life meaning." 

Raine scoffed at this. At the same time, so did Tidus. It startled her because it was like a perfect echo. Good to see they both saw their father in such high regard. 

"Auron, if it doesn't work this time, if I'm reborn as Sin, bring Raine with you on your next pilgrimage." 

"What shall I bring her back as?" 

Bemused, Tidus's clear blue eyes were glued to Auron and it was the strangest feeling. For a brief moment, Tidus was looking directly at Raine. "What do you mean 'as what'?" 

"Mage? Swordswoman?" Auron offered. 

"Summoner," Tidus said grimly and the word plunged from her brother's lips like an anvil. 

Auron's eye was slowly drifting away before this, but it jerked back to Tidus' dark expression. "You—" Auron paused. Raine got the impression Auron was genuinely startled. "You're sure?" 

"Promise me you'll look after her. Maybe you can talk some sense into her," Tidus said and folded his arms, grumpy, glaring reproachfully. "I don't like her new boyfriend." 

Raine burst out laughing, but with the hot tears in her eyes it was almost a sob. Oh, Tidus. My protective older brother, she thought. 

And then something cold nestled in her chest cavity as she pictured the fleet of Sinspawn, the way they encroached the beach during her and Jory's wedding. How much exactly did Tidus not like her boyfriend? Enough to sabotage the wedding? 

"I give you my word," Auron said. "I'll take care of your sister. I'll guard her with my life." 

There was a loyal determination in the way he said it, but Raine couldn't tell if the devotion was aimed for Tidus or for Raine. 

Pyreflies dispersing, the movie faded and Raine couldn't stop the roll in her stomach as she leaped off the bed and ran for the bathroom. 

Scooping tap water into her mouth, Raine ignored the sewer taste as she rinsed and spit the vomit taste out of her mouth. 

Raine returned to the main room. The Pyreflies were finished showing her Auron's memories and they bumped against the window, trapped, asking to be liberated. Releasing the window, Raine quickly stepped back as the Pyreflies whooshed out, swirling around the snow yard, eager for freedom, and she followed their comet tails spiraling below, where someone was shoveling snow off the walkway. Raine leaned out the window as the Pyreflies whizzed by Rin, attracting his attention. He stood his shovel upright like a staff as he watched them go, and then turned up to the second floor. It was so quiet that Raine could hear Rin's boots squeaking in the packed snow as he walked around to face the building. He saluted her, bowed slightly. Raine slowly waved. 

From a distance, their gazes locked as they shared a moment. Rin looked like he wanted to say something and with a sympathetic gesture, his head tilted, motioning inside, an invitation. Raine nodded and Rin attacked the ground with his shovel, flinging the last of the snow sideways. 

Raine found Auron's red cloak twisted around one of his legs and she yanked it, glancing with a flinch at Auron to make sure she hadn't woken him, and gently lifted one of his bare feet to slowly unravel the garment free. She put it on just for the sake of modesty and dropped to her knees next to Auron to lightly kiss the place where his forehead met his high hairline. He stirred, nuzzled his cheek against his arm as he adjusted in his sleep, his lips smacking once. 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 08



Crawling back, Raine was about to get up. 

"Choose me." 

Raine froze. 

"Choose me, Raine," Auron said with a drowsy lilt and smacked his lips again. 

Shifting the coverlet over his shoulder, she touched his damp hair, brushing it from his face. His tail was twisted on the floor behind him, the pink, blue polka-dot ribbon still holding together his sloppy braid. "Always," Raine whispered, planting another quick kiss on his forehead and padding to the door. 

It didn't occur to her until later that "choose me" meant something different for Auron than it did for her. 

Downstairs, in the main shop, Rin was taking off his heavy coat, stomping his boots free of snow. Under, he wore a yellow jacket open to expose his bare chest and strange red choker. 

"Summoner Raine," he said, throwing his coat up on a hook. "Did you enjoy your dinner?" 

"I did, thanks," she said, decided against telling him how bland the meat was and flavorless the corn turned out. 

His tan, leathery face wrinkled in a large smile as he promptly approached her, shaking her hand in both of his, like this morning when they first met, but then his eyes flashed in concern. "Summoner Raine, you've been crying." 

"A little," she said, although she was sure her eyes were nearly puffed shut. 

She thought for a moment he looked a little misty-eyed himself. He smelled good, his cologne spicy, and he cleared his throat, talking with the choppy rhythm of his Al Behd accent. "You will have to excuse me, Summoner. You look exactly like your brother. The hair, the eyes." 

"You knew my brother?" 

"Of course. He is very well-known. Your father, too." There was a devious glint in his eye. "You and your brother must have been graced with your mother's looks?" 

Raine smiled and self-consciously ran a hand through her hair. Not today. 

"I encouraged your brother to learn the Al Behd language. He became decent at understanding it, although I'm not sure how much he could speak." 

"Al Behd...you must know Rikku, then?" 

He looked surprised. "Sir Auron has talked about the Al Behd?" 

"A little. It's difficult to get a lot out of him." 

Rin chuckled. 

"What else do you know about Auron, er, Sir Auron?" 

Rin hesitated and motioned behind the counter to a couple stools. "Come, sit." 

Raine hopped up on one, Rin on the other. He began to eye her cloak warily. 

"You are wearing his coat." 

"Oh," Raine said, flushing. "Yes. To cover my pajamas." She realized her reserve was probably a bit of overkill, glancing at Rin's bare chest. 

Rin's eyes found the sparkle of her wedding ring and he studied it in a way that made Raine pull the sleeve of Auron's cloak down to hide it. 

"I don't think I've ever seen Sir Auron without his red cloak. I don't believe many have." 

"He's...sleeping." 

"Ah," he said with a strange grin that made her blush again. "It appears you and Sir Auron are...close?" 

"I've known him since I was little, when he was friends with Tidus." She reminded herself not to mention Zanarkand. 

"I see." He gave a side nod, furrowing his eye brows earnestly and shook his head, as though dismissing an idea. "Right, you wanted to know about Sir Auron." 

"Yes, please." 

"Is there a certain aspect you are most curious about? I don't know much about him, either, but I can try." 

"You saw the Pyreflies outside just now?" Raine asked. 

Rin gave a careful nod and Raine's belly curled with dread. He knew. 

"So it's true?" she whispered. "He's unsent?" 

"Oh my dear, I was afraid of this." He sighed. "Well, I do not believe he told Tidus until far into the pilgrimage, either, if it makes you feel better." 

"How did Auron die?" 

"I believe the scar on his face was the deathblow." 

"By whom?" 

"Legend says Yunalesca. After Jecht and Braska died, they say Auron went back to confront Yunalesca and was mortally wounded. He made his way, somehow, through Mount Gagazet and was found by a Ronso." 

"Kimarhi?" 

"Correct. Kimarhi brought him to my branch in the Calm Lands and left for Bevelle to find Lady Yuna. Auron had been tasked by Braska and Jecht to take care of their offspring. Sir Auron is quite legendary, but to be in two places at once is still beyond his capabilities. He died sometime in the night." 

Raine shuddered. He had nearly died again from her goof in the mirror. "Yunalesca...she gives the Final Aeon, doesn't she?" 

"Summoner Raine, I don't claim to be an expert in any of Yevon's customs, but yes, that's how the story goes." 

"My father was Sin and my brother was Sin and soon someone else will be Sin...when does it stop?" 

"Yevon believes when the people of Spira have atoned." 

"For what?" 

"Various things. Mostly for relying on machina." 

"That's insane." 

Rin gave a sideways nod. "You are not alone in your thinking. The Al Behd have a slightly different take on Sin and Yu Yevon and their part in Spira." 

"What's that?" 

Rin folded his arms and leaned back more comfortably in his chair. "The sacrifice of a Summoner is a ritual upheld by the leaders of the Yevon religion. To believe something else is blasphemy, which is why the Al Behd are considered heathens by most of Spira. We do not believe a Summoner's sacrifice has to be made to defeat Sin. For good, that is." 

"How do you think Sin can be beaten?" 

"Oh, I could not really say," he said humbly, "but Sin is really just a mass of fiends and Pyreflies and could theoretically be defeated by a large amount of machina. Some say if the core of Sin is also destroyed, it would eliminate Sin's capability to be reborn." 

"Reborn? You mean, like my brother was?" 

"As I understand," Rin said. 

"Auron says Tidus and my father were chosen by their Summoners. He says when I face Yunalesca, I should pick him." 

Rin tapped his lips. "Interesting." 

"What is?" 

"That he was not picked at the last pilgrimage. Since he is already unsent, it would have spared your brother's life." 

Raine sat up straight. 

"Not for lack of trying, I am sure," Rin said, holding up a hand to contain her conclusions. "The bond between Guardian and Summoner must be strong, so I can see why Yuna's first choice of Sir Auron wasn't accepted. When you get to Zanarkand Ruins, it will be Yunalesca's choice in the end. I am sure this time, it will be different." 

Did he say...Zanarkand Ruins? Raine squinted. "Zanarkand what?" 

Rin blanched under his tan skin. "Excuse me, Summoner Raine. Sometimes my native tongue gets mixed in with everyday speech. I meant to say when you get to Yunalesca, it will be her choice in the end." 

"It sounded like you said 'Zanarkand Ruins.'" How did Rin know about Zanarkand? Did Auron tell him? 

Rin grinned, looking very puzzled for a moment. Then he leaned toward her conspiratorially. "You know, when I first saw you come in, I saw your ring and I thought Auron had taken on a wife." 

Raine skewed her head at his sudden subject change and was about to set the innkeeper straight, but Rin shook his head quickly in apology. 

"Of course, that was my error. Auron was not too happy when I mentioned this." 

Raine narrowed her eyes, trying to sort out the misunderstanding and gave a half smile. 

"Could you imagine, though? Yunalesca could never say no to a married bond, could she?" 

Raine's face fell as she too realized this. 

"Summoner Raine?" The innkeeper regarded her changed expression with curiosity and reached across to touch her hand. "You're as white as a wraith." 

Choose me. 

Auron wanted Raine to choose him for the Final Summoning, but Raine realized he wasn't about to be turned down a second time. To ensure Yunalesca's acceptance, Auron had made sure to tip the scales in his favor. 

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Raine dryly laughed to cover up the sound of her heart breaking. "Excuse me, I'm just feeling a little foolish." 

"Oh dear, was it something I said?" 

"It's just-" she said and pulled her hand out of the sleeve to show him the ring. The pear-shaped diamond sparked in the low light. "Auron and I are married."



Everything Looks Better Ch. 09



Drake House, Zanarkand 

Auron had a perfect view of Raine's wedding from the roof of the garage, but his sunglasses were level with the ocean, scanning white-capped shores. The air's substantial gravity was oppressive and charged, like an approaching storm, minus the visual cues of thunder clouds and distant flares of lightning, and he was feeling a little like a human wind vane, the erratic ocean wind flapping the red banner of his sleeve in all directions. 

When the weather got like this, Sin was not far. It was also the only time in Zanarkand when the Pyreflies in Auron got restless, when they knew Sin was close, but how close he would get was yet to be determined. Auron anticipated Tidus would not want to miss his little sister's wedding, whether he approved of it or not. Auron had the impression Tidus wasn't easily impressed when it came to Raine's suitors, but whatever the case, Sin wasn't in the habit of arriving to events unobtrusively. 

Vaguely aware of some mild disorder in the narrow gully between the garage and house, Auron sidestepped down the shingles to investigate. There was a problem with the dress, apparently, although from this angle Auron saw nothing wrong, and when the father of the groom sauntered over to take his post next to Raine, Auron glowered as Mr. Drake lecherously partook in the same view. Auron hoped she might do something to stop him, say something sarcastic to put him in his place or, even better, slap him like he knew she could, but Raine was too polite. Looking startled and embarrassed, she held her tongue and glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. To resist jumping down and ripping the elder Drake's throat out, Auron stalked over to the opposite roof to resume his watch of the ocean. 

The music had started, playing over the white noise of the surf, the procession in motion as the first couple bridesmaids paced with agonizing deliberacy. Another one of Raine's milestones played out before him, but instead of getting choked up, he watched with a staid glare. Even without Sin lurking behind the horizon, it felt all wrong: a horde of sphere-cams hovering over the jury of reporters, strangers in Raine's VIP section and a groom who was only now stumbling up to the wedding arch. Admittedly, Auron didn't know what kind of wedding she wanted, but this couldn't be what she had in mind. 

Auron stiffened when the first black Sinspawn bobbed up from the shoal, the first of many, it turned out. Auron counted twelve in all. At first they resembled thorny clamshells until they, one by one, began to part like the jaws of a carnivorous plant, their armor flapping like wet laundry before settling on their backs as two mint-green wings. Looking very ancient and prehistoric, the only way Sinspawn could, a small army of black Sinscales invaded the beach with precise formation, stalking in unison. 

At the expectation of combat, Auron felt a cord of excitement tingle through him, and with an easy roll of his shoulder, liberated his arm from his cloak. 

* 

Raine held her breath at the look of horror on Darwin's face as his flawless wedding march dissolved. 

The first scream was the loudest, to alert the rest, and the screams that came after were out of terror, followed by the first wave of frightened guests as they stampeded across the yard. There was a collective clatter of collapsing chairs as the wedding guests who couldn't run down the aisles climbed over the seats or tossed them out of the way. Raine couldn't see what was prompting the chaos and attempted to move up against the garage to get a better look, but she was halted by Mr. Drake, who pinned her hand against him with his elbow. She wasn't sure if he was doing it out of alarm, or to keep her from escaping his son's wedding. 

Darwin, the wedding planner, moved into the open and the look on his face made his earlier conniption about the torn wedding dress seem like a simple eye roll. It made Raine want to piss herself. He gestured with an urgent shepherding motion. "Run!" 

Some of the faster, more ruthless wedding guests jostled Raine as they ran passed her and she hardly noticed when Mr. Drake released her hand and followed them. 

Darwin grabbed Raine's shoulders, staring wide into her eyes. "Fiends. Come on, in the house!" 

Raine wrestled out of his hands. She had to see. 

Through gaps in the turmoil, Raine could see the insect legs scuttling out of the water and sinking into the white sand. As the creatures shook salt-water off their grotesque bodies, the membrane of their foam-green wings flickered ominously. 

Woozy with relief, Raine fell on her knees, hypnotized by her reprieve, which had come in the form of Sinscales. Sinspawn meant Sin was close. 

A smattering of guests came running through the strip of space between the garage and the house and one of Jory's groomsmen stopped to help Raine to her feet. 

"Raine, what are you doing? Get up!" 

The groomsman yanked her up by her armpits and dragged her by the hand, away from the beautiful sight of her wedding being destroyed, and that's when she remembered her great-aunt Naya had been sitting in the VIP seats. 

* 

Auron searched for Raine in the current of the crowd, spotted her in the grasp of one of the groomsmen as he ushered her around the front of the house. 

The former warrior monk paced the roof like a tiger stalking a trout from the riverside, but there was no good place to jump down to. His reflective glasses lifted to the roof of the house, across the eight-foot gap, and he internally hmphed. He hadn't made a jump like that in years, but he backed up to the apex of the garage's gable roof anyway and took a running start. His boots smashed a few of the terra cotta shingles when he landed, but he paid no attention and ran around to the veranda at the back of the house at an awkward slant, like one leg was longer than the other. Free-falling down to the support beam on the wooden trellis, his arm shot sideways for balance only to compensate for the weight of his katana, and jogged across the narrow board with short, calculated strides. Dropping down to the soft grass, Auron landed in a crouch, ignoring the shock prickling up his shins. 

It was unusual for Sin to send Sinspawn on his behalf, but here they were, scrabbling into the backyard, squawking like angry seagulls. Swiping an insect leg, one of them shattered the wedding altar like it was made of Popsicle sticks and paste. Another scurried up to its brother, smashing the chairs in its path, chasing away the remaining guests. Rising from his stoop, Auron ducked as a sphere-cam zipped over his head, suspending in various positions like a hummingbird for the best angle. Auron scowled, but didn't waste swings. 

Digging the side of his foot in the sand, Auron dropped his katana off his shoulder and the razor-sharp edge swiped upwards at a charging Sinscale, splitting a twitching maw in half. With a satisfying whump, the exoskeleton broke like a brittle eggshell and shards of black casing peppered the sand. Staggering, its segmented, saltatorial legs stabbed at the beach until it tipped on its side. Its wings faded grey as it died. 

Eleven left. There were too many to keep track of. Auron could only cut through the ones that were closest. 

Another Sinscale skittered toward the house and Auron scuttled sideways to block it. The Sinscale reared, backed up and its wings flickered pistachio-green. It made an unpleasant sound, an eerie sigh, and Auron just managed to dodge three spiny projectiles as they shot off its thorax. They landed in the sand with muted thumps and Auron swung sideways, rending through its dense wings like an old scroll ream. Auron didn't swing unless he had a mark to kill, and as he hacked through another two, blood splattered on the grass like ink. 

Eight left. Except... 

...Auron only saw 7. 

* 

In the front yard, Raine was able to break away from the groomsman. Scuffling in sandals to the edge of the drive, Raine skimmed the lilac shaded street for a flash of red before it filled with shrieking wedding guests. 

"Auron!" she shouted through the disorder. "Auron!" 

If Auron was here, he could take care of himself. Aunt Naya, however... 

Raine turned back to the house. Some of Jory's relatives channeled through the front door and Raine got in line. Just inside the foyer, people milled anxiously, spilling into the kitchen and parlor, the rooms dimming as curtains and blinds were closed. The young flower girl and ring bearer were inconsolable, faces rosy with tears as one of the bridesmaids kneeled to their height to comfort them. Darwin was beside himself, sitting at the edge of a stark white sofa, eyes wide open but seeing nothing. A half dozen people suddenly funneled through the foyer hall to the sunroom by the veranda to gawk at the Sinspawn from a safe place and the foyer became easier to maneuver. 

Mrs. Drake had gathered her own audience. She had lost a shoe and her dress had ripped to the thigh and she was wringing her hands together. Her bloodshot eyes seared at Raine as soon as the rooms thinned enough for Raine to be noticed. "You! This is all you, isn't it?" 

"I—" Raine was frozen, speechless. 

Two women flanking Mrs. Drake soothed her with supportive pats and shot Raine similar looks of disgust. Raine thought they might be her sisters. If it wasn't for her concern for her aunt, Raine might have turned and taken her chances with the Sinspawn outside. 

"Mindy, listen to yourself," said Mr. Drake from the kitchen. Even in a crisis he was nonchalantly picking up appetizers from various silver trays and popping them in his mouth while a soux chef in white stood by with a dirty look. Might as well, before they went bad. "These things happen sometimes. It's not Raine's fault. " 

But wasn't it? Playing the victim was just too tempting, even for Raine, who was secretly delighted in the arrival of Sinspawn, barring any injuries or deaths, of course. 

"Has anyone seen my aunt?" Raine asked. 

"No I haven't seen your aunt," Mrs. Drake snapped, the word "aunt" coming off her lips like venom. 

Raine ignored her caustic comment and addressed the rest of the room. "Chestnut hair? Early sixties? She was wearing a blue and white flowered sundress?" 

"I saw her," someone said behind Raine. She was sitting on the steps, holding hands with one of the groomsmen, probably his date, and Raine thought she recognized her as a former underclasswoman from school. 

"Where?" 

"She was sitting in one of the front rows, wasn't she? In the VIP section?" She glanced at the groomsman for confirmation but he only replied with a shrug. 

Raine brightened. "Yes, that's right." 

"I haven't seen her since," she said, looking around nervously, realizing everyone was staring at her, most notably Mrs. Drake with her dagger eyes. 

"Run!" someone screamed from the sunroom and Raine started. A streak of wedding guests sprinted back through the foyer hall, but it was the explosion of shattering glass that agitated the room into fresh chaos. 

"Stairs!" Mr. Drake shouted, dropping his shrimp cocktail on the tray. 

Mrs. Drake's sisters motioned to the stairs and wedding guests swirled around Raine. The queue for the stairs was anything but orderly as she was swept into the current, beyond her better judgment to become trapped on a second floor. The throng was largely unsympathetic as she stumbled on the hem of her dress and paused to adjust the sandal strap on her heel. 

In the second floor hallway, guests dispersed to various bedrooms, and Raine commenced into one, but someone who didn't notice her slammed the door shut. The next couple doors closed before she could lay claim to them, the quick whisper of furniture on carpet as the doors were barricaded from within. 

There was a horrible ruckus of crumbling drywall and snapping handrails as the 4-legged Sinspawn staggered its way up the steps made for bi-peds, wing tips unhitching family photos off the wall anchors. Raine found the sight of hairy insect legs scrabbling on the hardwood stair tread revolting, alien, and a little silly, despite the tickle on her spine, like a hundred mini Sinscales tumbling down her back. 

"Raine!" hissed a voice at the end of the hall. Darwin was at the last open room, curling a finger to beckon her. Raine lifted her dress and clapped over. Darwin retreated inside and Raine risked a look back as the Sinscale lurched up to the second floor, its gigantic roach legs as uncoordinated as a newborn fawn as it skidded on the floor runner. Composing itself, the Sinscale's pointed head seemed to swing toward her in recognition and though Raine could not quite identify where its eyes were, their gazes locking for split second before Raine lost her nerve and slammed shut the bedroom door. 

The room served as refuge for most of the wedding party. Mr. Drake and Darwin were already sliding a dresser along the wall, a ship in a bottle wobbled on its wooden display from the dresser's sudden stop in front of the door. Mrs. Drake moaned to her sisters at the edge of the sailboat bedspread, agonizing about Jory, who was, as Mrs. Drake reminded them, still outside with those "things." At least half the bridesmaids and a couple groomsmen argued about the attack habits of Sinspawn, which didn't include inside residences and certainly not in these numbers. Even the flower girl and ring bearer were shivering together in the corner arm chair. 

Moving aside the ship in a bottle and other nautical trinkets, Raine pressed her ear to the door, listening to the graceless ticking of hard insect legs on wood floors. 

"We should wait this out," Mr. Drake said, hands in his pockets. 

"Wait?! But there are more out there, where our son is!" Mrs. Drake protested. 

"If you haven't noticed, we're trapped in his room," said one of the groomsmen. It might have been the one who picked Raine up outside. 

"That's his fault," Mrs. Drake spat, jutting a chin in her husband's direction. "It was his idea to go upstairs." 

Mr. Drake showed his hands to defend himself. "How was I supposed to know they could climb stairs?" 

"Quiet!" Raine hissed and everyone looked up sharply. She thought she heard the alien footsteps stop. "I think it's going away." 

The bedroom became deathly quiet, save for the light whimpers of the children in the corner and Raine held the lip of the dresser as she stretched across it to press her ear on the door. She could only hear the pulse of blood in her head and an almost sea-shell whisper of muffled air. Without anyone to chase, the Sinspawn most likely became idle in the hall. 

"Do you hear it?" Darwin murmured, breaking the long gap of silence. 

As if in answer, the door rattled violently, jarring brutally against the side of Raine's face, the crack of splintering wood deafening in her head. Punched through the door, a dark, spotted claw fought to wiggle free, so close to Raine's face, she could see beach sand in the black sprouts of hair on its exoskeleton. 

* 

Auron thought he saw someone in the wreckage of broken fold-up chairs, but there was no time to investigate. 

Exhilarated by combat, Auron fought with a permanently wicked fleer. He hadn't been in battle for months, not since his struggle in Spira to get back to Zanarkand. Surrounded in a pincer attack, Auron arched his sword downwards on the closest Sinscale, beating it into the sand, not killing it, but severely injuring it. It writhed to its feet, but too many of its legs were broken to lift its own weight and eventually settled in defeat. Another slammed into Auron from behind and he swung around, throwing the blade aloft. Oily innards smelling offensively of chocobo dung slopped on the ground seconds before the Sinspawn's limbs buckled. The next one went down almost as quick but the fourth skipped back as Auron dropped his sword with a misstep, slicing sod instead of cracking through shell. 

"Hmph," he said, stepping back to rest his katana on an aching shoulder and study his opponent's movement. 

The battlefield was teeming with Pyreflies. Further off, another Sinscale dragged the remains of the wedding arch in a loop around the back lawn, the lace tangled in its legs. Auron was only distantly aware of the remaining two, savagely chucking chairs in wild gratification. 

But Auron could hardly take his eye off the Sinspawn dancing in front of him, swifter than his brothers. It circled around with wide berth and Auron revolved in place, daring it to turn its back, and it lurched gracelessly over one of its dead comrades. Its sea-green wings glowed and shivered and Auron bowled left, seeking cover from another fallen Sinscale as the tiny missiles soared passed. Scrambling to his feet, Auron leapt over the insect casualty, driving the end of the sword down over the top of the Sinspawn, pinning it like a lab specimen and killing it. 

The other Sinscales distracted, Auron jogged over to the debris of white wedding chairs, flinging a few out of his way. An older woman lay on her side, just coming to as Auron kneeled down. Aunt Naya. 

"What happened?" Raine's aunt asked, groggy-eyed until she recognized Auron and darkened. "It's you." 

The racket of the wedding arch banging by directed Aunt Naya's attention to the remaining Sinspawn, her eyes growing so big Auron thought they might spring out of her head. Instead, she deflated and fainted. Auron grabbed her frail shoulder and her head lolled back like a fresh corpse. Losing consciousness under stress must run in the family, he thought. 

The last three Sinspawn were drifting closer in their destructions and Auron lifted to his feet and swiveled towards them... 

...except now there were only two. 

* 

"Everyone in the closet. Now." 

Raine grabbed the flower girl, who was almost too big to lift, but Raine hoisted her up on her hip anyway. The little girl's white tights were scuffed with grass stains and they instinctively wrapped around Raine's waist. Reaching for the ring bearer's tiny hand, Raine helped him scoot down. 

Slivers of wood flew into the room as the Sinscale axed away at the door. Darwin was first to the closet and as he opened it, Raine was relieved it was a walk-in, full of out-of-season clothes. She dropped the girl onto her feet, gave the children a gentle shove towards the back and ushered most of her wedding party inside. 

"You too, Mr. Drake," Raine said. 

Jory's father opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a shrill voice from inside the closet. 

"Jerry, get in here, now!" Mrs. Drake shouted. 

With a wary look in Raine's direction, Mr. Drake wandered into the closet. 

Raine faced Darwin and jerked her head to the closet. 

"What are you going to do?" Darwin asked lowly. 

Fiddling with the bracelet loan on her damaged wrist, Raine shrugged. "I'm not sure." She managed to find the clasp and as the jewelry swung off her arm, she handed it back to Darwin. "I won't need anything old or borrowed, but I hope you still get paid." 

Darwin laughed harshly. "I won't be surprised if she sends me a bill." 

In the hall, the Sinscale stopped hacking for a moment, the ugly, pointed contour of its face lingered at the hole for a moment, to check its target was still inside, and then inserted a long claw through the beaten hole and pushed the dresser forward, ship in a bottle slipping off first, shattering, and the dresser instantly crushed the intricate model. 

"Go," Raine urged. 

Darwin ducked inside. "Try not to ruin your dress." 

"No promises." 

Raine closed the door and hurried to the window, peering out onto the roof, flinched at another woody smash as the Sinscale rammed against the last shreds of door. 

Swiveling the latch on the window, Raine released it sideways and thrust the screen out. She swung a leg out the window, but waited for the Sinscale to squeeze through the narrow entry and stagger over the dresser. The clicking of its talons turned to soft pattering as it scuttled onto the carpet. Raine ducked sideways, dropping down to the shingles. Above her, the Sinscale wriggled out the window, legs first. 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 09



Raine peered over the edge of the roof to the giant hydrangeas landscaping the side of the house, 12 feet down, but the Sinscale was efficiently spilling out of the window like a hermit crab. Scrambling down on her knees, Raine had to hunch to work her way to the edge of the roof, her dress binding tightly around her bust just as she heard a seam pop apart somewhere. The terror of being chased was more overwhelming than any height fears, and as she threw a leg over the side, she held onto the lip of the rain gutter and dangled over the side. Over her, the Sinspawn slipped inelegantly on the terra-cotta shingles, sliding downwards, piercing holes in the ceramic roof for something to grab onto. Raine let go moments before the Sinscale flew over the side of the roof, Sinscale and human equally vulnerable to laws of gravity. 

Landing in the bushes below, Raine was relieved the Sinspawn launched further away from the house, struggling to find its feet again as Raine tugged her train from the foliage snarls. She turned and ran towards the front of the house before the dress had completely unraveled, ignoring the ripping sounds of lace and silk, noticing as one of the wedding guests came careening around the corner of the house, towards Raine, followed by a second Sinscale, stabbing across the sod. 

Raine stopped. 

So did the other girl. 

"Lindsey Seawell," Raine grated under her breath. 

* 

Two more dead Sinscales crashed in the grass and Auron kneeled down to Raine's aunt, lifting her around his shoulders like a sack of rice, carrying his katana at his side as he rushed to the veranda. He maneuvered through a machina ruins of broken equipment, abandoned by the long-gone reporters. One of the Sinscales had been through here. Auron bowed cautiously through a gaping hole in the side of the sunroom. His boots crunched on the glass as he approached the last of the surviving wicker furniture, the rest lying in shreds across the room, and he felt the older woman's weight shift on his shoulder as she began to wake up. Leaning forward, Auron gently set the woman on her feet, righting the tipped chair for her to sit. Immediately on sitting, Aunt Naya crashed her pale face into a bony hand. 

"As soon as you're able, find someplace better to hide." 

Numbly, she nodded into her palm. 

Auron started back out the hole. 

"These creatures," the old woman called, "they're because of Raine?" 

"I believe so." A message from Tidus, Auron reasoned. He never did like Jory. 

Naya fished into the elbow of her sleeve, pulling out a wad of unused, but crinkled tissues and began dabbing at the sweat on her temples. "I don't usually cry at weddings, but I'm glad I tucked these away just in case." 

Auron heard screams on the side of the house and his muscles tensed, but Aunt Naya wasn't finished talking. 

"Raine is lucky to have someone like you to watch over her, but let me tell you something about her I think you should know. She is strong like Jecht," Naya said, folding the tissues as she looked down at them, "but she loves like her mother. It consumes her." 

Aware of the direction the conversation was going, Auron turned towards the jagged gap, surveying the ocean for more Sinspawn. He was familiar with Aunt Naya's theory Raine's mother died of a broken heart after so many years waiting for Jecht to return. Had Raine felt the same way when Auron was trapped in Spira? It was hard to believe Raine would go the same way as her mother, fading quietly away in her sleep. If anything, it was the pain of living that made it unbearable for Raine and her attempt to exit life had to be aggressive if it she had any chance of succeeding. For once, Auron was glad for her pugnacious father, the part inside her that undoubtedly drove her to live anyway. 

Although it wasn't Auron's habit to think on these events, there were times he wondered if Raine's mother would have been better off if he'd told her Jecht was dead. But Auron was convinced it was the hope Jecht was still alive that kept her going as long as she did. False hope. Wasn't that what he was trying to end in his plot to destroy Sin? It was false hope planted by the Yevon leaders that the people of Spira would eventually atone and Sin would disappear forever. Without false hope, the weak would die like Raine's mother, but the strong would carve new beliefs out of new evidence. 

Another scream, this time further away, but Raine's aunt continued, unhurried and seemingly oblivious to the far-off cries for help. 

"She won't admit it because she hates to be vulnerable, but she needs to be loved the same way. Don't get me wrong, Raine learned a lesson during her stay in the hospital, a lesson her mother never had a second chance to learn after Jecht disappeared, but if you aren't able to be consumed by her, then you should let her go." 

Auron clenched his jaw for a variety of reasons, but the thought of leaving Raine made him queasy. He couldn't imagine being more consumed by Raine. Even as a child she had been recasting the igneous rock in him that had long ago cooled and hardened. Apart from those three agonizing months in Spira, he had spent every day for the last eleven years with her in his scope. He would give his life for her. How could that not be enough? 

"Rest assured Raine will go on living without you, if she has to. Happily, even, I'm sure, after enough time has passed." 

"Hmph," Auron grunted, unconvinced he could function as easily if Raine ever died before him. 

Aunt Naya sighed in forfeit, the way someone would when they knew their words weren't sinking. "Look, I think you're a decent enough guy and believe me when I say I know what you're going through. Cete's mother hated me at first, but time has a way of dissolving grudges, and our fifteen year age difference didn't seem as important to her once we were both over the hump of mid-life." Her eyes unfocused, going someplace else, probably to the past when Cetan was still alive. "She'll keep you young, but you have to treat her as an equal. It took me years before I learned to stop nagging my young husband like a mother." She laughed softly. "Although sometimes I think he secretly liked it." 

Auron distractedly thought back on a few times he had scolded Raine for one thing or another. Little wonder she needed a therapist's help to sort through her feelings. 

Two screams this time, almost in unison. 

Auron shot an irritated look at the old woman, who dismissed him with a flap of her liver-spotted hand and said, "Go save her." 

* 

Raine dove into a clot of trees at the property line, Lindsey Seawell close behind, and further back, two scampering Sinscales. Coming out the other side to the neighbor's yard, her white dress was smudged with grass stains and there were twigs stuck in her hair. Raine turned to yank Lindsey through the branches snagging at her pleated skirt and when she was free, Raine gathered her own dress so they could bolt across the lawn together. 

Soon, Raine heard a soft galloping behind them and dared a look over her shoulder. One Sinscale had somehow bypassed the trees and was charging towards them. A split second later, the other one landed several strides after the first, grasshopper-jumping across the property line. Its segmented legs were already in mid-dash when they hit the ground. 

Ahead, a high wooden privacy fence divided the two lots and Raine's first instinct was to pick a direction—ideally the direction opposite Lindsey Seawell. But after a quick peek back, Raine discovered the Sinscales were not so much chasing as they were flanking them. 

"This way," Lindsey said and began to veer right, but she was head off by one of the Sinscales. Raine had the peculiar feeling of being herded. 

Racing through an arrangement of patio furniture, Raine and Lindsey were forced to stop at the wall of the fence, both women jumping in a vain effort to reach the top, but it was at least eight feet tall with no footings to climb over. The Sinspawn encroached at their leisure when they realized they had cornered their prey. 

"Come on," Raine said, turning the woman around by her shoulders so that they faced each other. Raine hitched up her dress high enough to expose the elastic garter. "Step up shoulder stand." 

"What?" Lindsey shrieked, edging on panic. 

"Come on, has it been that long?" Raine snapped. 

Something clicked behind Lindsey's green eyes. "Are you serious?" 

"Do you think this is a time to joke?" 

"Shit." Lindsey bent over and fidgeted with the clasps on her sandals, quickly flicking them off her feet. "Don't drop me like you did the first time." 

"No spotter, no promises." 

Lindsey pressed her lips together in determination and grabbed Raine's hand. The familiarity of her grip brought Raine back to the field behind the school where they used to practice. Raine assumed a half-squat, her stance wide, knees at almost ninety degrees, feet pointed out, keeping her thigh exposed so Lindsey didn't lose her footing on the smooth fabric of her wedding dress. 

Lindsey nestled behind her, planted a bare foot at the crook of her right hip, took a couple preliminary bounces and jumped. Raine's legs trembled, but she reached over her head to catch Lindsey's other hand to help her balance as Lindsey's other foot landed on Raine's left shoulder. It was best done with a spotter, who could give Lindsey an extra shove to help her, but without one, Lindsey's foot burrowed cruelly into the side of Raine's neck as she struggled into a shoulder stand. Raine gritted her teeth together to withstand Lindsey's adult weight with muscles she hadn't used in a long time. After several almost-attempts, Lindsey's right foot left Raine's thigh and found her right shoulder. 

The whole exercise took less than thirty seconds and in both Raine's peripheral visions, twitching Sinscales closed in on them. Raine could feel Lindsey's legs shake as she struggled with balance, her hands squeezing Raine's as she faltered to stand erect on Raine's shoulders. 

"Let go Lindsey," Raine said under her breath. "I got you." 

Lindsey released her left hand first and Raine used her freed hand to brace her partner's shin. Gaining confidence, Lindsey did the same on the right, until they were in a full shoulder stand, if a little wobbly and without the flourish at the end. Lindsey's weight shifted slightly toward the fence and with a final dig into Raine's left shoulder, Lindsey propelled forward, swinging a leg over the fence to straddle it, her hands holding the fence under her crotch. 

The Sinscales sensed their targets were escaping and became frantic, upsetting the design of outdoor furnishings, and toppling the padded lounge chairs. One of them took a crack at a short cut, skidding over the top of the patio table made of wrought iron and tempered glass, but didn't anticipate the canvas umbrella folding down from the jarring impact. In its attempt to escape the collapsed canopy, the entire assembly tipped over with a terrible clamor. Raine hopped sideways to avoid the umbrella's pointed finial as it came crashing down. 

While the Sinspawn were distracted, Raine reached up the side of the fence. "Okay, Lindsey, now pull me—" 

But Lindsey had already slipped over the other side. Through the cracks in the fence, Raine saw Lindsey tumble into the grass and sprint through the neighbor's yard without even a look back. 

"Lindsey!" Raine cried. 

Back to the fence, Raine stood motionless as the fiends stalked her, their wings quivering aggressively as she listened to the awful song of their clicking mandibles... 

* 

Lured by shrieks, Auron plowed through the strip of trees between the ocean-side properties and stopped in his tracks. One Sinscale lunged tentatively around Raine as she prodded it with a closed patio umbrella. Its mandibles snapped down on the pointy end, testing it territorially. The second Sinspawn was lying in a black heap, surrounded in Pyreflies, and Auron wondered who had killed it. 

Circling around the yard, Auron intended to approach the last Sinscale from behind, but its pale-green wings glimmered menacingly. 

"Raine, get down!" 

* 

At the sound of her name, Raine scanned the yard and glimpsed the splash of red by the driveway and for a few brief moments, the Sinscales receded into the background... 

...until three quick stabs into the side of her abdomen doubled her over and made her scream. Initially, Raine thought the Sinspawn bit her, until she detected three bloody spines shaped like arrowheads, half concealed in the skin of her belly. She used to spend hours scraping those damn spines off the bottom of her houseboat. 

Baring her teeth to stifle another scream, Raine braced the umbrella on her healthy hip. As the creature's face-hole chewed on the end of it, its great strength was apparent through the conduit of the umbrella's shaft. Lunging forward, Raine jabbed the umbrella's tip into the most brittle part of the exoskeleton and the handle wrenched violently out of her hands as the Sinscale stumbled backward, thrashing around the patio until it crumpled in the grass and died. 

* 

Auron jogged forward, but Raine gestured for him to stay back. She found an upright lounge chair to lean over and a mouthful of clear vomit sputtered between her lips. Inwardly sighing, Auron slid away his sword and adjusted the scabbard on his shoulder. He slipped an arm around her waist to steady her, avoiding the spines spiking just above her hip bone. They had ripped the expensive dress, exposing slashes of her belly. 

"I can't breathe," Raine wheezed. 

"Sit," he instructed. He meant on the chair, but she plopped down on the patio bricks, her legs surrounded in a stiff white bell of satin and lace. 

"It's this ridiculous dress," she panted, indicating the back so he could loosen it. "It's too small." 

Kneeling down behind her, he discovered no less than a million tiny buttons against her spine. "A zipper would be easier," Auron muttered. 

"I'll remember that for next time," she said through her teeth. 

Auron inserted his fingers under the lacy drapery at her shoulder blades and tugged the dress apart. Minute but lethal buttons pelted him, bouncing and ticking all around them like freed pearls from a necklace. Raine didn't seem to mind and immediately disrobed to the waist, pulling her arms free of the sleeves. Suddenly gasping from the rush of air to her constricted lungs, she promptly fainted, flopping back into his open arms. 

The ringlets of spun gold piled on her head tickled his face and as he carefully laid her down on the patio bricks, his eye slid passed her artificially tanned cleavage to avoid diversion. One of her fake black eyelashes was lying crookedly over the top of one cheek. Her arms were covered in scrapes and scratches, although not all of them were bleeding, and there were several tears in her hosiery. 

It was best if she was out cold for the next part anyway. One at a time, he plucked the spines out of her soft belly and tossed them into the grass, leaving three oozing lesions. He used the top half of her dress to soak the blood, but the cloths were slippery, the lace full of holes, and soon there was blood everywhere. Auron perused the house for assistance, but there didn't seem to be anyone home. 

With an aggrieved whimper, the raven wings attached to Raine's eyelids flapped open. 

"Keep still," he warned preemptively, knowing she was going to want to hug him. He reached into his cloak, to a pocket where he always kept a spare potion and handed her the ampoule. "Drink this." 

Popping the cork off the mini-beaker with her thumb, she propped up on one elbow to swallow the contents. After, she scrutinized the remaining liquid coating the sides of the glass. "What is it?" 

Auron smirked. "Does it matter? You already drank it." He peeled back the gauze of her dress and was pleased her wound was already on the fast track to healing. 

"Aunt Naya!" she cried and then flinched when she moved too suddenly. 

"Easy," he cautioned. "Your aunt is safe. I saw to it personally." 

The severe look in her eye diminished and she lied back, relieved. "Thanks, Auron." Her attention drifted over to the twisters of Pyreflies spewing from the Sinscales. Here, fiends were self-sending. "No one's seen a fiend in Zanarkand in years. Not since Sin destroyed the stadium." 

Auron nodded. 

"Those are what you've been protecting me from all these years?" 

"Yes." 

"Well you're doing a terrible job," she said. She looked at him with a glint in her eye, a glimpse of the real Raine breaking through all the hair extensions, fake tan and false eyelashes. 

"I'm starting to wonder what I've been doing here all these years." If she didn't need his guidance or his protection, why exactly did Tidus send him there? Surely it wasn't solely to steer her away from Jory. 

"Should we hide from Sin?" she asked. 

"He won't come any closer. He will only send more Sinspawn." 

"Until you defeat him?" 

"Hmm." 

She stared unhappily at the sky. "You have to go back soon." 

"Soon," he agreed. 

She was quiet in her thoughts for a while as he examined her wound again. It was near superficial now. Auron thanked the fayth those weren't poisoned spines. He didn't often carry antidotes. 

"Will you show me one of your cards before you go?" 

"Again?" 

"I want to see your marriage card." 

"Hmph. You've seen it." 

"I know. I just want to know...was it hard for you to turn down the high priest's daughter?" 

"What does any of that matter now?" 

She looked away, back to the Sinspawn, nearly completely disintegrated now, but she wasn't really looking at them. Her eyes fixated on something far away in her mind. "How did you know it was the right thing to do?" 

"The marriage benefited others more than it did me." 

"It must have taken a lot of courage to call it off, knowing so many would be angry." 

Then Auron understood. The majority of Zanarkand was anticipating Raine and Jory's union. Gently, he said, "I knew there would be harsh repercussions." 

"And you did it anyway." 

Slowly her eyes met his and he nodded. 

She retreated back into herself to think and for a long time they didn't speak as Auron tended to her wound. The bleeding had stopped and scar tissue was already beginning to form. 

"Will I live?" she asked. 

"I think so." 

She winced as she sat up. "Oh my," she breathed, glancing down at her injury. "What's in that stuff?" 

Auron chuckled, but he honestly didn't know. 

Scooting to him, she leaned wearily against his chest, an easy, affable gesture, one friend seeking comfort from another and his gauntlet came up to her spine. They hadn't been this close since that night he returned from Spira, on her bed at the houseboat, not long before she slapped him. Usually the events played out differently when he thought back to them, but sometimes he'd leave in the slap for variety. But then he would think he should make an appointment with Raine's therapist, to figure out why that turned him on. 

"Maybe you would like to trade marriage cards?" she asked. 

"Jory's not my type," Auron teased, deflecting because he knew where this conversation was leading. 

"He's not mine, either. Not anymore. And I don't want to marry the high priest's daughter, either." Craning her neck, she found his gaze. "I want to marry you." 

Arching an eyebrow, he glanced down ironically at her dress. "You have to work on your timing, Raine." 

Sensing his reluctance, she frowned crossly. "I know it will be simpler with you. Just us. That's all I need. Those damned Sinscales saved me from a mistake." 

"Don't let them drive you into another," he murmured. 

He remembered the nights after she banished him, standing at the distant edge of the marina parking lot to watch over the houseboat. Occasionally, she would step out on her front deck, wrapped in an old brown sweater to shield her from an evening breeze and just stare out at the docks. Sometimes Auron thought she might be looking for him and it was a special kind of hell to see her every day and not be able to split a beer or sit quietly next to her on the back deck while she read the sports page or a hundred other things they had not actually done except for inside his head. He couldn't keep track of how many times he stopped himself from approaching her those evenings she would wait outside. She asked him to stay away. It might not have been what she wanted, but somewhere inside her, she believed it was what she needed and he had to respect that. At least until Sin came to collect them. 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 09



"If you marry me, you have to take me to Spira with you." 

"We don't have to be married to cross the portal." 

"I know. But it's the only way you'll bring me." 

Not true. He was supposed to bring her as a Summoner; it was what Tidus wanted. While marrying Raine would cement her accompaniment into Spira with him, how much different was it really from marrying a high priest's daughter? They were both very high-profile, very political unions and the only difference he could see was that a marriage to a future Summoner would benefit all of Spira when it was time to call the Final Aeon, not just the Yevonite priests of Bevelle. Raine was hoping for discreet with Auron and he was touched her intensions to him were modest and pure, but marrying him would not be that much different than Jory once they reached Spira. A union between the Legendary Guardian and Tidus' sister from...Zanarkand would be scandalous indeed. 

"Put your hand up," Auron ordered. 

"What? Why?" 

"Your hand. Put it up." 

Blinking in comprehension, she tucked her hand possessively behind her back. "No," she said, shaking her head in refusal. 

Auron put up his hand, holding out his fingers in a frozen wave, waiting passive for her to comply. 

She rolled her eyes. "Auron, I'm never going to be as big as you. It's a genetic impossibility. 

But she dragged her hand off the patio and grudgingly mirrored him. He touched her hand, pretending to be very deliberate as he measured them up, hers falling short of his by a good inch. She saw it, too, and her face crumpled tearlessly, signaling he had let the charade go a moment too far. 

"Close enough," he said and quickly interlaced his fingers with hers. 

She shoved him with both hands, smiling impishly, but then snatched him back for a fierce hug, hiding her face in his cloak. Auron's face hardened as he absently returned the embrace, contemplating another marriage that would benefit others more than it would him. 

Just get her to Spira, he thought. The rest, he'd have to worry about later.



Everything Looks Better Ch. 10



Auron could have slept longer, but the Pyreflies woke him, wagging his brain until it was thrumming in torment. Propping up on his elbow, he ground the heel of his hand into his good eye socket to pacify the Pyreflies and buff the sleep out of his face. It helped marginally, enough so she could at least squint around the inn room.

"Raine?"

Vocal cords gritty from sleep, he cleared his dry, prickly throat and dragged himself onto his hip, but as a dreadful thought gripped him, he examined the room with new effort. The bathroom door was open and the light was off. The bed was vacant.

Bracing an elbow on the bed, Auron snapped to his feet. "Raine!" he barked.

Of course she left him. Raine had limits and Auron had attacked those limits like a fiend in heat. No excuse for it. Even if he was in the midst of a near-sending. Even if he was desperate to stay out of the Farplane. 

He stumbled to his leather plate on the chair and then swung around disoriented to find his cloak, which was missing. Strange. Popping his head into the bathroom, Auron scanned the floor, looking for Raine's pajamas. Her boots were gone, too, but her coat made of dingo hide was still slung over one of the stools, at the table where she had picked over a dinner of pork roast and strawberry cobbler. He realized she didn't intend to go far. If she was going to leave him, he expected her to have enough good sense to dress for the cold.

Space. A little would do them both some good. She needed to get used to the idea he was an unsent and he prayed it wasn't a deal-breaker, although part of her must have known. After they had tinkered with the shower's water temperature for ten minutes, she must have at least had a hunch something was wrong. Ignorance was bliss, he reasoned. She didn't want to admit he was dead as much as he didn't want to admit he was in love with her, ever since the night at the stadium, when she smelled of gum and hairspray. Eventually they would both have to face it.

Wrestling into his armor, he snapped the buttons on his collar. He yawned and massaged the back of his neck, throwing back an arm to stretch his shoulder. As he stood in the light sloping in from the main room, he gave the dark bathroom a casual glance. Earlier this evening, he had strode with stern intent to this spot, closing the door on Raine's naked back as she readied for her first shower. Thinking back, he should have compromised and only closed the door halfway, at least until he was better adjusted to their new phase of intimacy. After all, it was what married people did; they left the bathroom door open. She was bounding through the stages like a rabbit to a field of clover, and digging his heels in was the only way to slow her down.

He noticed Raine's kinked garter on the side of the sink and gave it a dry smile as he picked it up. He had promised her he would take it off her later. Zanarkand had some marital customs that differed from those in Spira and he wasn't familiar with all of them. This morning, when he saw the garter tying back her hair, he knew she had been expecting a wedding night customary of Zanarkand and it scared the shit out of him. Sure, he had spent the majority of his time at the houseboat staring at her ass when she wasn't looking, but she was still the little girl who once patted his knee to get his attention before she asked if he had any kids for her to play with. It took work to separate the two Raine's. But now that she was his wife, daydreaming of her in her cheerleading uniform didn't feel as immoral, although he speculated that had been part of the appeal.

Honestly, he didn't know what he was supposed to do with the garter but he meant to invent something when the time came. Something racy and derogatory that would probably involve his teeth. Just the thought of it made him smirk. Sniffing the garter once, it smelled like her hair and he nostalgically pressed it against his nose on his way back into the bedroom.

A wintery draft curled around his bare arms and Auron regarded the window inquisitively. It had been left ajar and wind was whistling through the crack. He approached the window to latch it.

However, what he saw outside made him forget about the escaping heat. The garter landed gently on the carpet. His boots were grabbed from under the table. The open door banged the wall on his way into the hall.





Everything Looks Better Ch. 10



Silence. The longest expanse so far. "No."

Auron crossed his arms, looked down at his boots, the wet laces dragging in the snow. His knees felt oddly weak. He waited a long time to speak, when he was sure his voice wouldn't shake, and to make doubly sure, he cleared his throat. "Is this about the pilgrimage?"

"Do you think we don't have maps in Zanarkand?"

That confused Auron. "What?"

Snow squeaked under her feet. She was turning around to face him and he was glad to see her pale face in the available light. Now that she knew he was unsent, any look of disgust or repulsion from her would certainly unhinge him, but somehow, her lack of expression was almost worse.

"With all the excitement of being in Spira, I nearly forgot about seeing the Fayth on the train this morning until I saw him in the summoning book you gave me. But it was the map on the next page that really got me thinking. The map of Spira."

Understanding, Auron inwardly sighed. Perhaps he shouldn't have given her free reign of the book until he had gone through it more thoroughly.

"I didn't think anything of it, until I noticed a little area in the top eastern corner that was mysteriously shaped just like Zanarkand. Now how is that possible, if the Zanarkand I'm from is all there is? To us, Mount Gagazet is just a place kids go to make out, but according to the map, it's way bigger."

"Raine, believe me, you were going to learn—"

"That Zanarkand exists in Spira? Only in ruins?"

"I was going to tell you. When the time was right."

"So when were you going to tell me I was a dream?"

Shocked, Auron snapped his head up. "How—"

"Your Pyreflies gave me a sneak preview," she said, tone exuding both humor and sarcasm.

For Yevon's sake. His Pyreflies would have told her all the secrets of the universe if she asked. "What did they show you?" he asked carefully.

She laughed, a hard fleer. "You should first understand a woman never forgets the place where she got married."

"Hmph," he chuffed knowingly. "The Dome in Zanarkand Ruins."

"When Tidus asked you to bring me to Spira as a Summoner, he said something I didn't understand at first. He said, 'What will happen to Raine when the Fayth stop dreaming?' It took me a while before I figured it out. This morning, on the train, I had commented to the Fayth that sitting there with him was a dream and he said 'Precisely.' At the time, I thought he was confirming that I was dreaming him, but it's the other way around, isn't it? He's dreaming me."

"I forget sometimes how clever you are," Auron said, eying the edge of the gorge as a piece of it broke away, and he could hear the fade of its smashing against the canyon wall on its way down.

Raine didn't seem to notice.





Everything Looks Better Ch. 10



Something unraveled in him and he hoped it was too dark for her to see his bleak expression. Auron couldn't dispute it. His marriage was more of a gesture to Yunalesca than it was to Raine, more or less to auspicate the pilgrimage.

Raine told him flatly this wasn't the married life she envisioned and it had occurred to him he should have indulged her with an appropriate wedding night before thrusting an Enchanted Rod in her hands and shoving her into the battlefield. I've always thought actions speak louder than words, he had said after their first round of consummation, which had been a pathetic way to avoid telling her he loved her, but it was all he could manage at the time. He knew she was willing to go the distance with him, he surmised it when she brazenly inserted her finger into her wedding ring to make it known she intended to stay married. She expected him to be a husband to her, but it was more than getting over that first stumbling block of physical contact; he had to keep their honesty and trust intact.

"I'm committed to you, Raine, please believe that."

"You're committed to the pilgrimage as my Guardian," she said with an edge. "It's always been about the pilgrimage. It's why Tidus sent you here, you said that. You made me love you so I would come to Spira with you."

Auron wanted to laugh at that, but didn't dare. He hadn't the faintest idea why she loved him and he had been fighting it for as long as he could remember.

"It's more than that," Auron said. "After tonight, you must know it is."

She shook her head, smiling without humor. "Even Yunalesca knows an unconsummated marriage isn't really a marriage."

"Raine, be reasonable. Marrying you had multiple benefits, for me and for the pilgrimage."

"Multiple benefits?" she repeated, both words said with derisive emphasis.

Nothing he said was right, so the next thing out of his mouth was out of surrender. "Do you want me to quit? Is that what this is about?"

"No, I don't want you to quit," she mumbled.

"Then do you want to quit?"

"No!" She bounced from foot to foot for circulation and another clump of snow dropped off the cliff side. "That's my brother out there! I can't quit."

"Well, I can't quit either."

Raine sighed unsteadily. She spoke slowly to keep calm. "I'm not asking you to quit. But when I choose you as my final Aeon, are you going to do it as a sacrifice? Or suicide?"

Auron felt his brows coming together. He wanted to ask the difference, but he knew already. What he really wanted to ask was what she thought the difference was. "Sacrifice. But you know I would give my life for you."

"Because it's your duty, right?"

"Right," he said with conviction.

He could tell by her deflated body language it was not what she wanted to hear, but Auron didn't understand what she wanted. Was it not enough he would protect her with his life? He married her, didn't he? He didn't know how to give more. Damn Yevon, if she would just step away from the gorge, he could think straight. The fearless way she stood by the edge put him at great unease, as if falling would be a happy accident.

"I found my mother when she died, did you know that?"

Auron lifted his chin in concern. He didn't know that.

"Tidus had gone to school early for Blitzball practice. You must have gone with him. I woke up for school at the usual time. Mother was asleep. She usually slept late, but she would wake up enough to tell me to have a good day at school before I left. I went in to check on her, but she must have died in the night. Later, the autopsy showed no real cause of death. She just...died."

Right. Broken heart.

She's strong like her father, but she loves like her mother.

It consumes her. 

Auron wasn't even sure if he knew what that meant. To be consumed by love.

"When you left and didn't come back, I think I just lost it. I blocked some of it out. I don't remember anything a couple weeks before I...you know."

Auron saw her rubbing her wrist with her thumb and he nodded.

"I hoped you were dead," she said, talking in monotone as if she was dead herself. "I mean really dead, not just unsent. That was the only way I could move on. I agreed to marry Jory, but he said if he ever saw you and me together again the marriage would be off and that was fine with me. You know what he used to say to me? He used to say that you always got the best of me. I'm still not really sure what that means. But that night when you returned, I knew I couldn't go back to just being friends and that's why I told you had to go. I guess I was hoping for some kind of grand gesture."

If you aren't able to be consumed by her, then you should let her go.

Auron rolled his eyes and wondered if asking her not to marry Jory would have counted as a grand gesture. He speculated the gesture would have to be a lot grander now, but there was nothing he could think to do. They were already married and it had been legitimized. The only thing left was....

"Raine, you know I lo—"

"Don't say it." In the hazy light, he could see she was shaking her head. "I don't want to hear it right now."

Then there was nothing he could do or say to make it right. Maybe Aunt Naya was right. Maybe he should let her go.

Raine sniffed from the cold. Her elbows came up and Auron realized she was pulling on her finger.

"What are you doing?" Auron asked.

She flung something into the gorge, but it made no sound. Her ring.

Auron stomped forward once. "Raine!"

She stuffed a hand into the front of the red cloak, first the right side, then the left. She was looking for his ring. He'd put it in his coat this morning after the ceremony.

"Don't, Raine."

She must have found it because her arm swung forward again and Auron felt a tug in his chest, like she'd thrown his heart into the ravine. I love you indubitably, it read on the inscription. It was a worthless ring without a single magical property, yet the finality of it was unbearable. His legs ached and he fell to his knees, forming craters in the crust of the snow.

"If you're going to be my final Aeon, I want it to be on our own merit," Raine muttered.

Auron was slow to nod until he wrapped his head around what she was saying. He was confident their bond was strong enough without trinkets to prove it, maybe not as solid as Raine wanted, but it would be enough to appease Yunalesca. It sounded like Raine wanted to finish the pilgrimage, but Auron didn't like the widening wedge between them and he had only himself to blame for it. "I can live with that."

In the distance, there was the faint crackle of ice as the frozen lake of Macalania shifted. It was a remote sound and it seemed to accentuate the silence between them. Raine sniffed again, but he couldn't tell if it was from the cold.

"I hate it when we fight," she whispered.

He scowled. Is that what this was? A fight? If this was a fight, he really didn't want to know what a failing marriage was like because that's what he thought was happening here. He dreaded this was only the first of many encounters to come, him explaining why he'd left out some key detail, her frustrations with his resigned intimacy. It seemed this was a battle they'd been having forever. She aimed to complicate, he strived for simplicity. "Me too" was all he said.

After another long yawn of quiet, Auron was about to ask her to come inside, but he was stopped by a tiny giggle. Auron looked up with a frown. "Raine?"

She answered with a light laugh, loud enough for the canyon to throw back at them in echo.

"What's so funny?"

"You are so stupid," she laughed.

Auron failed to find the humor. "Why is that?"

"I'm sorry," she said, but what she said next was broken with uncontainable snickers. "What kind of unsent...teaches his wife...the sending dance?"

He tried to remain stoic, but her giggles were infectious. He gave in to a snort. "You're enjoying this."

"That's just asking for trouble, don't you think?"

"I suppose you're right." He smothered a grin, but a chuckle snuck by.

"You had best get used to walking on eggshells, my dear. You don't want to make me mad and send you to the Farplane!"

Auron laughed at the stars and the gorge could not keep up with tossing back their mirth. Raine covered her face with his red sleeves to hold in her amusement, but those sleeves suddenly shot out sideways for balance as the earth shook. It was a single, lurching tremor that Auron felt through his knees and had to catch the snow in front of him as if to steady the world with his own hands. Raine's equilibrium faltered as a chunk of ice under her foot crumbled away from the cliff, but she saved it, teetering on one foot. She looked up at Auron and sagged with relief.

Enough of this. "Come to me," Auron said, clipped. "Quickly."

Auron's arms floated away from his body to accept her, but when the tremors started again, Auron could hear the ice snapping far away and heavy snow broke away from the ledges, including the cornice directly under Raine.

Raine shrieked and Auron launched headfirst, but she dropped into the dark gorge, leaving just the clawing tracks of her fingers when they had raked though the snow.





Everything Looks Better Ch. 10



Soon, a murky image formed below her. Lights. City lights. Zanarkand. She was swimming above the marina. 

She aimed for her houseboat, a slow nosedive with no resistance. Someone was standing under the light on her front deck. She saw the golden haze of blonde hair and thought of Tidus. Tidus was down there and she needed to get to him. Propelling faster, she reached the houseboat in no time, drifting down the last several feet. When she was close enough, she realized it wasn't Tidus. 

Flipping right side up, Raine discovered the air's buoyancy wouldn't let her touch the deck boards below her. There was a gradual underwater current that pushed her back gently but it was offset easily by a quick kick or insweep, both done naturally, almost absently without thought, like blinking or scratching an itch. Her attention was preoccupied with the blonde standing in front of her, back turned, apparently unaffected by the subsurface rules, since his or her running shoes rested on the top deck securely, like they were glued or nailed down.

Shoes....

Raine remembered having a pair of shoes like that when she was young.... 

It seemed the very moment Raine realized it was her own self standing in front of her, the blonde cheerleader turned around. She was playing with her long hair, checking for split ends, and chomping on gum. She was the age she was when Tidus disappeared. Although Young Raine didn't seem to see Old Raine floating in front of her, Young Raine gave a distained eye-roll at something, maybe a general dissatisfaction of how unfair life was at the time. It reminded Raine of Dona.

What a brat! Is that how people saw me?

No, this is how Tidus remembered me.

Something was changing. The light above her houseboat door was dimming. Behind her, the lights of Zanarkand were winking out. It was quiet. Peaceful. Her head was filling with helium, but her heavy eyelids dropped in exaggerated, lethargic blinks. Eventually she became too drowsy to correct herself in the air's fluctuation and when she stopped, she merely bobbed weightlessly in mid-air, body curling into a fetal position as she allowed sleep to take her...





Everything Looks Better Ch. 11



Without preamble, Auron's left eye popped open and he rolled it around his socket to examine a starless night sky. He was unharmed, but remained lying on his back, gathering details with his other senses and coming up with very little. The ground shifted grittily underneath him. Sand. There was no sound of the ocean though, only faint music, hard and heavy with a fast beat. Besaid Island? Bikanel Desert? Kilika Beach? Hide and seek, Sin's favorite game, Auron thought. He didn't know if he had enough sanity left to survive another three months of that, but he would have to try because this time Sin had involved Raine.

Sitting upright, Auron shook the beach out of his hair, spit it out through his lips and scrubbed it off his face. A slight brow raise was his only reaction when he realized he wasn't in Bikanel Desert or Kilika Beach. He wasn't even sure if he was in Spira.

He was in Zanarkand, facing the marina.

Apparently lacking lunar influence to bring in the tide, the ocean was suspiciously and unbelievably still, the bay a graveyard of abandoned houseboats and sailing vessels. Behind him, a dry, haunted fog muddied the bright lights of Central Zanarkand. Auron had considered the marina his home, where he felt comfortable retiring to after a long day. But this didn't feel like home. It felt hollow and dead.

There was still one houseboat with power. Raine's. It was lit up like a landing strip, every light on inside, and the windows vibrated from the music. Glancing around the ground, Auron didn't expect to find his katana, but thought he should at least look for it. Something was waiting for him and as much as he wanted to believe it was Raine, singing with a broom as a dance partner, this wasn't the peppy pop music she usually tuned into. If anything, the music was more like....

Impossible.

He boarded the docks empty-handed and followed the familiar path he'd taken a thousand times, the knot of trepidation he felt walking through the boneyard of ghost ships was heightened now that he was unarmed. Climbing the ramp, Auron noticed the front door was open a crack. This was the right houseboat, but there was something off about it. The welcome mat was missing and the sun-bleached deck boards were shabby and faded again. It occurred to Auron it may not be Raine's houseboat, but still Jecht's.

Guarded, Auron pushed on the door. Inside, the music was deafening and his view into the sunken parlor was obstructed by a hedge of cardboard moving boxes.

"Raine?" he called, but the music masked his voice.

After closing the door, he approached the boxes and peered over them. The houseboat was definitely different, returned to its original state, before the sea water damaged the stucco walls and shag carpeting. The old ceiling fan whipped around on high. Mountains of unlabeled moving boxes blocked the windows. Auron descended the stairs and waded through clothes strewn on the floor, kneeling by the stereo in its usual spot on the shelf, below Jecht's trophies, which were dusty, but not broken. Grimly assessing the stereo's knobs and dials, Auron picked the largest button and pushed it. Except for the ringing in his ears, the following silence was flawless.

A sixth sense alerted Auron he wasn't alone in the room. Behind him, Tidus was holding a box of more trophies, rooted in place, looking as alarmed as Auron felt. The trophies jangled together as Tidus dropped the box at his feet and marched across the room.

Quickly standing to brace for the attack, Auron inadvertently knocked over a pile of disk cassettes and they clattered to the floor. After marrying Tidus' sister without permission, Auron knew he earned the assault and he knew Tidus was justified in doing it, but what happened instead made Auron wish it had been as simple as a fight.

Tidus slung his arms around Auron and he had to elevate his chin to avoid colliding with the boy's forehead. Auron's elbows were pinned to his sides as Tidus fiercely squeezed, beating Auron's shoulder blades with his palms in an affectionately masculine embrace. Auron tried to retreat but Tidus hung on and Auron decided the fastest way to end it was to hug back. He felt oddly paternal with his arms around Tidus and after a moment, rested his chin on top of the boy's yellow mop of hair. Tidus sniffed against Auron's collar and the former warrior-monk's face hardened to hold back stinging tears.

That final day in Zanarkand Ruins, before Tidus disappeared with Yunalesca down those paradoxical stairs to nowhere, Auron and Tidus had parted with a sturdy handshake and a nod, after an awkward almost-hug Tidus started to initiate. Auron regretted their weak goodbye. Their amount of time together in the Zanarkand dream rivaled that of any father and son and Tidus deserved better. Auron deserved better.

Stepping back, Tidus efficiently rubbed his eyes with his knuckles and smiled broadly, delivering a cheerful clap to Auron's shoulder. "Welcome to the family, old man."

Auron's face slacked in disbelief, but Tidus only laughed.

"Having a younger wife must suit you. You look good!"

"As do you," Auron said, eying Tidus' seventeen year old physique. The boy was wearing a pale peach tunic, loose linen pants and plastic sandals. It was strange to see him out of his Blitzball uniform, but he seemed relaxed, like he was on leave. Auron supposed in a way he was.

"Come sit." Tidus eagerly waved Auron into the circular parlor, scooping a heap of laundry off the couch and adding it to another pile at one end to clear off space.

Auron came in gradually, reluctantly.

"Want something to drink?" Tidus walked backwards into the galley, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder at the refrigerator.

"No. Thanks."

Sinking into the couch, the same one he and Raine had chased a litter of geckos out of once upon a time, Auron noted it was almost new. The houseboat was in the condition it was when Tidus lived there, before Raine had finished renovating it, before it was gutted, before the flood Jecht caused as Sin.

"Moving in?" Auron asked, eye drifting to the boxes that nearly touched the ceiling. Some were dangerously close to the ceiling fan blades. He wondered what was in all of them. Tidus didn't have much for belongings and he knew for a fact Tidus had only brought a backpack of clothes and a regulation-sized Blitzball with him to the real houseboat.

Real houseboat. Auron shook his head to himself. Did he actually just refer to Dream Zanarkand as real?

Tidus opened the refrigerator. "Moving out, actually. This is the last of it."

Last of it? Sweet Yevon, how much had been there before?

Auron leaned sideways to peer into one of the open moving boxes sitting next to him on the couch. As if hastily tossed inside, there was an old armguard, some faded Blitzball magazines and a pile of yellowed family photos. A wad of thick, fibrous construction paper was carelessly folded and wedged against the side of the box. Auron flattened them on the side of his leg and turned them over to look. Children's drawings. Rainbows, trees, suns—and Raine's name autographed at the bottom of each, scrawled in random colors in handwriting advanced for her age. They had probably all been shown to Auron at one time or another and he most likely paged through the amateur artwork with hurried disinterest, but now he considered each one with fresh sentiment. Especially the last one.

It was a family portrait of stick figures. Jecht was first, separated from the rest of his family by a squiggly brown line and surrounded by clouds of every color. The Farplane, when Raine still believed in it. On the right side of the Farplane's barrier, Raine's mother was next with scribbles of brown hair, Tidus and Raine followed with shocks of buttery hair. Last was Auron. His figure of sticks was drawn in brick red, the lower half of his face concealed with a grey box, his collar, and his hair was an inkblot with white sides. He stared at it with a face of stone to keep his reactions in check.

"Whatcha got there?" Tidus asked.

Auron cleared his throat. "Nothing," he said and shoved the pictures under the stack of magazines.

Tidus was scratching the back of his head when he returned with a dark mug filled with some liquid, shoving aside other dirty mugs on the coffee table to make room for the new one. He flopped down on the sectional opposite Auron and propped a flip-flop next to his beverage, relaxing for only a moment before lifting his hips to fidget with something in his pocket. "I have something of yours."

At first Auron peered over with only muted curiosity, until he saw the gold wedding bands lying half-stacked in Tidus' palm. Auron snatched them, studying the rings for authenticity. Raine had thrown them into the gorge the last he saw of them. How did Tidus get them?

"I guess this makes us brothers, huh?"

"It appears so," Auron mumbled, stuffing the rings safely in one of his inside cloak pockets. He couldn't be sure how real they were or if they could be taken from this place when it was time to leave, but he had to try.

"Cool, I always wanted a brother. I just always thought he'd be younger." Tidus grinned cheekily and then shrugged, reconsidering. "I guess Raine was kind of like a brother. She wasn't afraid to play in the dirt with me."

"She looked up to you."

"Maybe until you came along," Tidus laughed.

"Hmph." Not anymore. Glancing back into the box next to him, he found Raine's hand-drawn family portrait staring back at him, the magazines he'd piled on top had disappeared. How did Tidus do that? "Where is she?"

"Safe," Tidus said. But something in Auron's face must have compelled him to add, "I swear."

"You've not shown yourself to her enough," Auron said. "I'm afraid she doesn't believe you're Sin."

He shrugged, insouciant, scratching behind his head again. "So what if she doesn't?"

Auron frowned. "Your sister is naturally skeptical. If she was sure it was you, she would have more motivation to finish the pilgrimage."

"You want me to destroy a few village huts in front of her?" Tidus asked, darkening. "Kill some children while she watches? I'm not my father. I won't influence Raine that way."

"No, you're not your father," Auron said gently.

"Believe me, Auron. She knows it's me now." Picking something off the back of his scalp, Tidus examined his fingernail closely, decided it was nothing and flicked it on the floor. He smiled humorlessly at Auron. "You won't have to worry about her incentive anymore."

Auron didn't reply. He should have been glad, but he couldn't make himself feel it.

"Because she's not going on the pilgrimage."

The swordsman straightened. "What?"

"Why do you think I sent you to Zanarkand?"

"To look after your sister."

Tidus made a face like he was insane. "You honestly thought that?"

"Your father asked me to do the same for you."

"I was 6. Raine was 15. She needed looking after like I needed swimming lessons."

Auron leaned forward, sitting on the edge of the cushion. "Then why did you—"

"I set you up in a city where the temperatures are always tepid with a cute blonde cheerleader who's been in love with you since she was 5 years old. It was a sweet deal and all you thought about was your next pilgrimage. You disappoint me, Auron." Tidus grinned. "I expected a flock of nieces and nephews to spoil by now."

"How?"

"Whaddya mean, 'How?' If I have to tell you that, you really are clueless. You know Raine wants children, don't you?"

"Not my children," Auron said. "That's impossible."

Tidus' gaze was level with Auron's. "Anything's possible in the dream world, old man."

Where ever they were, they weren't in Dream Zanarkand anymore, so it was futile to think about. As Auron thought of how to change the subject, he noted how much lower the piles of moving boxes were. Before, they had almost grazed the ceiling. Now, they were below the curtain rods. And had the dune of dirty laundry next to Tidus shrunk?

"The Sinspawn at her wedding..." Auron said distantly.

"I had to stop it. If she couldn't have you, it didn't matter who she married. And Jory was terrible for her."

Auron's brow furrowed. "People could have died."

"No one did," Tidus said and his clear blue eyes widened innocently.

"And when you threw me around Spira like a broken spear for three months?"

Tidus smirked an infuriating smile. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Fonder?" Auron said through his teeth.

The boy's face fell and his eyebrows came together, puzzled.

"I nearly went mad from the torture and Raine tried to kill herself when I didn't return! She almost died, you little shit!"

Tidus' eyes grew huge, but before he could retort, the houseboat shuddered, followed by a low groan outside. Auron secured himself and Tidus leaped to his dirty clothes, but not before half the mound tumbled over onto the floor. When it passed, Auron stared at Tidus edgily, still expecting a damn good explanation.

"Easy, Auron," Tidus mollified, trying to hold Auron's eye contact but the boy succumbed to the itch at the back of his head, aggressively scraping with his fingernails. This time, a small clump of blonde hair with dark roots came with and Tidus dropped it on the floor with barely a look. "I didn't know that would happen. I wanted to nudge things along. You're not getting any younger, you know."

"Why a Summoner, then?"

"It was the only way to get you to consider your feelings toward her. I knew you'd volunteer to be her final Aeon. I mean, you love her, don't you?"

If anyone else was asking, he probably would have walked away, changed the subject or said something vague and philosophical, but it was Tidus. Raine's brother. The last of her family. At least what was left of him, considering the mass of hair he'd just tossed aside. Auron nodded, miserable strain in his face, realizing this was as close as he would come to a marriage blessing. "She was scarcely an adolescent when you last saw her," Auron said. "How did you know I would—"

Tidus's face tilted sideways and deadened soberly. Are you serious? he seemed to ask. "She's my sister. She's young, she's cute, she's blonde, and she likes you. What else do you need?"

To have her summed up in just a few trite details felt like an insult to both Raine and Auron.

Irritably, Tidus shook his head, scratching again. At least this time he didn't rip out any hair. "I didn't mean it that way. She's my sister, I only want for her to be happy."

"What makes you so certain she'll be happy with me?"

"I'm not. But you've put off the Farplane this long to look after her and that's something our mother couldn't even do. There's no one I'd rather see her with."

"Hmph." Tidus would see them together in the Calm Lands when Raine summoned Auron as her final Aeon.

Despite Tidus' declarations his kid sister would not be journeying to Zanarkand Ruins, the pilgrimage was the only reason Raine and Auron were in Spira. Regardless of Tidus' fairy tale notions, Auron and Raine had reasons for marrying the other that differed from what the vows implied. Raine married Auron so he would take her to Spira and Auron married Raine so Yunalesca would brand him a final Aeon. Thinking back to his engagement to the high-priest's daughter, Auron wondered if he was only suited for marriages of convenience. He loved Raine and he was committed to her, but it was not the sole motive for the union.

"Speaking of my mom. Remember that day in Guadosalam? When we visited the Farplane? Well, everyone but you and Rikku."

"I remember." The Al Behd girl was convinced loved ones in the Farplane were only telepathic images formed by Pyreflies and she wouldn't let Auron forget it while they waited for the others to come back.

"I saw my mother that day. Did I ever tell you that?"

Auron shook his head.

"Well," he said, folding his arms as he slouched more comfortably into the couch, "I asked Yuna about it because I don't think my mom was ever sent, was she?"

Auron clasped his hands together thoughtfully, recalling the funeral when fourteen-year-old Raine had chased him down at the gate and pestered him into sitting with her. She said she had tried to get a Summoner to perform a sending, but they had been too busy in the Farplane with Aeons and unicorns and—what else? That's right. Little green men who hide gold. Sometime between drawing her family picture and her mother's funeral, she had stopped believing in all that. "I don't think so."

"Me neither. Anyway, Yuna told me the reason I could see my mother in the Farplane was because she must have accepted her death before she died."

Right. Broken heart. "Self-sendings are rare," Auron said and left it at that.

"I had no idea things had gotten that bad for her," Tidus said sadly, looking away in recollection.

"She looks healthy in the photos," Auron commented.

"What photos?"

Auron gestured to the box next to him, but it was gone. He stared at the empty cushions in disbelief until another quake rattled the cupboard doors and upset the ceiling fan, causing the room's lighting to sway around in sickening swoops. Tidus alertly sat up to look out the window behind Auron and then spun in his seat to inspect the other window.

"You might not be able to stay much longer," Tidus said.

Wondering how Tidus could tell, Auron thought there might be fewer ships outside now, but he became distracted by the wound on the back of Tidus' head. It was greasy and black and it matted his hair. It was hard to look at and Auron forced himself to avert his eyes and sweep them over the living area. Only a few boxes remained and all the dirty laundry was gone, even the articles scattered on the floor. Auron felt a sinking, queasy sensation when he realized it wasn't his imagination; Tidus' possessions were vanishing.

What photos?

Not possessions. Tidus didn't have many physical belongings. They were more like his...memories.

"Where's Raine?" Auron asked.

Tidus sat forward. "I put her someplace safe."

"Where," Auron insisted.

The boat erupted and Auron was thrown off of the couch, knocking empty mugs on the floor, but managed to catch the one with liquid before it spilled. The beverage looked black, oily, a reflection of color on the surface, like petroleum. It smelled terrible.

Tidus jumped out of his spot, grabbed a broom from behind the refrigerator and rapped the ceiling with the handle. "Not yet, you hear me?!" he shouted. "NOT YET!"

When the room settled, Tidus paused a few moments to see if there would be an aftershock and then put the broom back. Tidus considered the room, as if searching for something misplaced and absently picked at the back of his head, wiped something black on his linen pants.

Auron stood. "I should go."

Tidus looked up sharply and shook his head beseechingly. "No, stay just a few more minutes."

Without enthusiasm, Auron nodded but did a double take at the couch he'd just gotten up from. It had disappeared. In an instant, the whole sectional had gone missing and so did the table with all the mugs, including the one filled with black swill. All that lingered in the room was 3 lone boxes and a few trophies on the shelf. The last of it.

Something cold settled in the pit of Auron's stomach as Tidus was picking at the black wound behind his head. The last of him. 

Tidus finally noticed the blackness caking under his nails and glanced sheepishly up at Auron. "This is nothing, okay?"

"Hmph."

"Look, Auron, I gotta tell you something."

"Quickly."

"Right." Tidus folded his arms and leaned on one leg. "I wasn't lying when I said Raine is safe."

"Good."

"But she's not in Spira."

"Where is she?"

"Back in Zanarkand."

"Dream Zanarkand?"

With an apologetic grimace, Tidus nodded.




Everything Looks Better Ch. 11



"What?" Auron barked. "Why?"

"It's the only place I can be sure she'll be safe."

"That place is a prison," Auron spat.

"You can't possibly think she likes it in Spira," Tidus said.

Auron flinched. Tidus was right. Raine hated Spira. The smell of the air, the taste of the food...she preferred the dream. "She won't want to be there now. Not when she knows it's not real."

Tidus raised his eyebrows. "Not real? Your feelings for Raine are not real?"

"Of course they are. But she won't be happy there knowing it's a dream."

"You were happy there, knowing it was a dream. In fact, I remember you would do anything to get back there to her."

Auron glared. "It's different knowing I could come back to Spira."

Tidus carelessly shrugged. "The last time I checked, this is still my story. And this is how I want it to end."

Auron grit his teeth together, regretting he had ever told Tidus that. What about Raine's story? Could someone touched by Sin even go back to the dream? Jecht and Tidus had always been striving to get back there but had never found a way and maybe that was for the best. Could Raine live in Dream Zanarkand knowing it was a lie, or would it drive her mad?

"What about the Pilgrimage?"

"I never wanted her in a Pilgrimage. I'm not going to let her die for me."

"She wants to. She wants to do what's right."

As the houseboat rocked violently, Auron and Tidus fought to stabilize themselves, but there was nothing left in the room to lean against. They staggered like drunks in a fun house and it reminded Auron of what it was first like living on the houseboat, before he achieved his sea-legs.

Outside, the long baritone whine of Sin's song filled their heads and Tidus waited to see if it would let up. When it didn't, he had to shout to be heard. "I want to do what's right, too! Raine never wanted this, so I've sent her back!"

"It will be different this time!"

"It was supposed to be different last time, Auron."

"Raine is stronger than you. She'll succeed."

When the house didn't settle Tidus tisked and grabbed the broom again, creating dents in the ceiling as he pounded, but it didn't help. It didn't even slow down the shaking. Tidus gave up and threw the sweeper down. A moment later, it was gone. "We don't have much time. You need to get out of here!"

Auron nodded firmly, definitively. "Bring me to Zanarkand."

Tidus broke into a smile. "Absolutely."

"When I find Raine, you can bring us back to Spira."

The boy's face had fallen and he was already shaking his head. "Auron, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't have much time, either. If I take you to Zanarkand, I won't be able to bring you back to Spira."

"But we have to finish the Pilgrimage."

"Don't do it for me," Tidus said. "Please. Call it self-preservation if you want, but I made this decision because I couldn't live without Yuna. I've no intension to drag anyone else down with me, especially Raine. Especially you."

Auron could feel the gravity changing in the boat, the rear tugging his weight, and the windows were partially obstructed by the dangerous angle of dark water. The houseboat was sinking.

"Come on." Tidus ran up the living room steps, whipping around the banister, and Auron followed. On the deck, the marina was gone, Zanarkand was gone. They were surrounded by a black void of open water with no visible horizon, but the way the water echoed and dripped, they could have been in a cave.

Auron struggled to the end of the boat and looked over the side. The water was high. By now the back deck where Raine used to sleep when it got too humid was completely submerged.

Tidus feverishly scraped the back of his head. Leaning impatiently on one foot, Tidus folded his arms and Auron observed black bruises on Tidus' forearms as the lesions began to spread. They were on his neck, too, like dark love-bites. "There's only enough time to send you to one place. Where to, old man?"

"Spira," Auron said.

"Spira?" Tidus spat. "What about Raine?"

"Raine can take care of herself." She got over him once. She could do it again. Right now, Tidus needed him. How could Auron turn his back when Tidus was standing in front of him, scratching the back of his head like a flea-ridden spaniel? If Raine couldn't be there to help her brother, then Auron had to.

Tidus gave Auron an icy look, taking his decision as a personal insult. "I would have chosen Yuna."

"Even if it was her brother who was in trouble?"

Tidus' look of petulant scorn intensified when he realized Auron was right. "Just go."

Auron sat on the ledge of the boat. "See you soon," he said to Tidus and then swung his legs over and dropped into the black bay.

*

This time when Auron woke up, he was lying prone and as he lifted his face off the ground, a mask of white sand adhered to the side of his face. Immediately he was aware of the crashing surf, screeching gulls, the hollers of fishermen as they maneuvered their boats out of the marina slip and a fog horn blatting a reply.

"Damn you Tidus," Auron muttered. Why did he bother asking Auron to choose if he was just going to send him back to Dream Zanarkand?

His sunglasses were half buried in the sand next to him, somehow materialized from the nightstand in the Macalania Travel Agency where he'd left them and not far from those, his katana. How thoughtful of Tidus to bring those back, too. Auron was still missing his red great coat, though, but as he swiveled his head in the direction of the ocean, he saw it wading out into deeper waters.

"Raine," he whispered and scurried to his feet. He halted at the approaching tide and funneled both hands over his mouth. "Raine!"

She looked back once over her shoulder, but the distance between them was too great to see what expression she might be wearing to explain why she ignored him and persisted towards the sea. She wrangled off the cloak and fed it to a passing wave and then continued to disrobe. She steeled herself from an oncoming wave and kept going. Before he could question her motives, Auron lifted his eye to the sky and already knew.

He bolted into the water. "Raine, come back!"

The stratosphere rapidly swallowed a round patch of Sin's underbelly, shrinking as he departed the dream world.

Splashing into the receding tide, Auron collided with the next moderate wave. Raine was so far out already and Auron was certain he couldn't catch up to her in time. Her swimming skills far surpassed his, enough to out-swim him, but not enough to survive open water. Even more, he feared when she didn't catch up to Sin, she wouldn't use her water abilities at all and let the current sweep her under.

"Raine!" he shouted again, his run reduced to barely a walk as the water approached his thighs. She glanced back, saw him coming and fell forward, disappearing in the ocean. It was all over now. Her finlike limbs would take her out to sea in no time and he would still be floundering about in the reef. And yet, he was compelled to push forward, knowing it wouldn't do any good, knowing he would never catch up. What was he supposed to do? Return to shore to watch her drown? Did Tidus know this would happen? Is that why he sent him back? Damn that boy. Tidus knew Raine could outswim Auron.

When Raine finally surfaced, she was just a pasty speck rolling with the surf, the white blades of her arms like efficient propellers, slicing through foamy breakers. Auron stumbled over the drop off with an inept thrash and the world turned to muffled glugs. His arms flailed to surface and he managed to take a sip of air before sinking like a stone, his boots filled with concrete, his arms and legs hopeless underwater.

For an instant before he felt the yanking choke of his collar, he heard the whisper of true death, enticing him to concede to it, promising a painless afterlife where his lungs didn't burn and his heart didn't ache. In that moment, his limbs stopped fighting and became limp as seaweed, his arms not exactly floating, but rising from the drag of his steady descent. In that split second before he realized Raine had come back for him, it felt good to give up, the same utter peace Raine had surely felt when she drifted off from the exsanguination of her attempted suicide.

Jutting his chin above the salty waves, Auron's fingers curled around the elbow Raine had hooked around his throat. He eased his cumbrousness by kicking his boots, but Auron had otherwise put aside his ego and yielded to her rescue. This was why Tidus sent him back. A drowning Auron was the only thing Raine would come back to shore for.

When Raine found her footing, he twisted and staggered towards the shore on shaky land-legs, combating the waves as they shoved him about. Raine fell to her hands and knees, sputtering and coughing, her bare breasts swaying weightily under her, her nipples pink as seashells and dripping salt water. Her white, waterlogged underwear was now transparently sagging off her hips like an old diaper.

Auron dropped next to her and laid a hand on her back, exhausted, but not enough to keep the grin off his face. "I can think of worse ways to be saved," he panted, but he didn't think she heard him.

"How do we get back?" Raine rasped bluntly.

Startled, he said, "We don't."

Her eyes flicked up to him. "There has to be a way."

Auron shook his head. The Pyreflies in him had gone dormant, the link between him and Sin ruthlessly split when the last of Tidus' humanity was absorbed.

"He sent me back?" she choked, staring at the sand, still on her hands and knees. A wave slid into shore, crashing against the back of her milky thighs.

Auron squeezed her shoulders. He could feel her shaking as she began to weep and he mistook her collision with him as a clumsy embrace. Falling sideways, Auron caught himself, one hand sinking into wet silt, and he realized his other arm had come up to defend himself from an attack of livid slaps and scratches.

"What do you think you're trying to do, kill yourself?" she screamed at him, face streaking with tears. "Why didn't you try harder? You should have tried harder!"

"To kill myself?"

"To make me believe!" she sobbed, her hands forming to fists during her assault. This wasn't exactly what he had in mind when he thought of wrestling with a nude Raine. "You should have prepared me! You should have taken me to Spira right away! Why did we waste so much time?"

Auron winced at the remark, but it was disguised as the side of her fist pounded the temple of his blind side. Should everything not directly related to a pilgrimage be a waste of time for Auron? Warm nights watching the boats come in on the back deck? Sharing a beer while she made herself dinner? Content silences, quiet chuckles, lengthy conversations about nothing...what a fucking waste of time.

Clamping his hand around one of her biceps, Auron scrambled to his knees. He wasn't sure at what point his battle to overpower her became a battle to comfort her, but she quickly tired and went slack. Auron was a fool if he thought he had ever seen her cry before. Those sniffles and glossy eyes he had witnessed on previous occasion were nothing compared to now, as she bawled inconsolable, heartbreaking howls that eventually ran out of air and became long gaps of silent wails, before a rough inhale started it all over again. By rejecting her and bringing her back, Tidus had destroyed her and it terrified Auron the way her emotions were as exposed and naked as she was lying in his arms.

Auron pulled her into his lap and rocked her and in his struggle to be strong for her, Auron had two dead eyes instead of one as he disengaged, emptying his head, going somewhere far away to a numb place where emotion was disconnected. His only consolation was that Raine never saw those hideous black wounds spreading over Tidus' skin, consuming him, but the vision would be ever present in Auron's mind, a constant reminder he couldn't stop the painful transformation that inevitably ensued inside Sin. He would never even be granted the satisfaction or closure of avenging Tidus, a festering, open gash that would never properly heal. He hated Tidus for this.

When Raine cried everything she had, they were both empty vessels, staring unblinkingly at nothing, traumatized and shivering, and it was the sea, so quick to take both their lives earlier, which swayed and cradled what was left of them in the unrelenting tide.

*

Later, Auron found his cloak down the beach a short ways and shook the sand out of it before he brought it to Raine. He had to force her arms through the sleeves and clasp the belt for her and when he tried to get her to stand, her knees only buckled. He picked her up to carry her back to the board walk and she rested her cheek against his shoulder. Auron was grateful most of the boats were out at sea and the Sin anomaly had caught the attention of everyone else, to avoid inquiries of concern from the other marina residents as they passed by.

The houseboat was locked and Auron couldn't see a way to open it with Raine in his arms. "Raine," he said. "I have to put you down. Can you stand?"

She didn't respond, but Auron lowered her anyway and she was able to hold herself up while he reached into the back of the porch light for the spare key. Clutching the robe around her, salt water dripping off the ends of her slicked blonde hair, she stared pale and gaunt into the ocean. He unlocked the door and let it swing open. Everything was as it was the night before he married Raine, which was only a day and a half ago, but it felt much longer. He began to coax Raine inside with a brush of her arm, but then another popular marriage custom in Zanarkand sparked in his mind and he swept her into his arms and crossed the threshold, kicking the door closed. The significance was lost on her as she merely leaned her head hazily on his chest.

He brought her into the bedroom and set her on her feet by the bed. The place had been home to him when he knew it was a dream and his feelings of nostalgia for the houseboat hadn't gone away, but Raine looked around as though she'd never been there before, seeing it all now through the dream cloud. Auron hoped it would not always be like this for her. She tested the bed's solidity with her hand first, as though doubting it was really there, that she might fall through it, but when the springs held firm, she unclasped the sash in the front and removed his coat before sitting.

Sliding open her top dresser drawer, Auron searched for something she would be comfortable sleeping in. He selected an oversized Abes T-shirt and swiped a pair of dry underwear at the last second. He had never dressed Raine as a child, but he decided this was what it would have been like, kneeled in front of her, tugging down wet panties while she stood, gripping his shoulders. Unfolding the dry undergarment, he held them close to the floor and let her step into them one foot at a time and hiked them into place. He helped her into the shirt, slipping it over her head and guiding her hands through the armholes. Familiar with her naked body now, Auron not only looked without shame, but with objectivity and disinterest, his eye blank if it happened to slide over her genitals. Sneaking a fondle or giving her rump a smack seemed like an event in someone else's life.

"Stay here," he said when she had sat back on the bed. He headed for the linen closet in the bathroom and picked the first towel off the pile and unfolded it as he went back to the bedroom. She sat patiently and allowed him to massage-dry her hair and when he was finished, he tossed aside a few of the decorative pillows and pulled back the covers for Raine to curl up underneath. She wilted as she assumed the fetal position. He thought about crawling in bed with her, but decided against it. If she wanted him there, she would have said so.

He still had to retrieve his katana and sunglasses from the beach and he wanted to get out of his wet clothes at some point, but he didn't want to go anywhere until he was sure Raine had fallen asleep. He parked himself in the armchair at the end of the bed and frowned down at his folded hands while he waited for her light breathing. It didn't take long, but even then he didn't feel right about leaving her alone without at least a note to pacify her if she woke up before he returned. He found a pad and pen in the bedside table and considered a few different versions before settling on something simple: I'm outside—A.

Marina life had mostly returned to normal his second pass through the docks, except for a few beer drinkers on their front decks, binoculars attached to their faces to see if Sin would return. Some raised their cups in polite salutation as Auron went by. Auron was already well known in Spira but he had grown to like the anonymity in the Zanarkand dream. However, since the Sinspawn at Raine's first wedding, he had already noticed an increase in fame. Marrying a network personality probably didn't support his obscurity. Divorcing one wouldn't help, either, the way things were looking.

Following his own tracks back to the spot where Sin had left him, he dug his sunglasses out of the sand and slipped them on over his ears. The tint seemed darker than usual and he removed them with both hands, squinting through the lenses at a distance. He determined they needed to be cleaned and deposited them into his trouser pocket.

Lifting his sword out of the dirt, Auron ran the scabbard across the leg of his pants to rub off the sand and out of habit, slid it out partially to check it. It was still dull in texture from when he'd wiped off the oil and the nick was still there from when he tried to teach Raine. Reminding himself he would have to finish the job, he balanced the sword over his shoulder and made his way back to the houseboat. On the way, he nearly walked right by the pajamas he'd acquired from the bazaar in Kilika, the bottoms, at least, mistaking it for a gob of seaweed that had washed ashore. He held up the limp garment, rotating them in examination. They seemed undamaged. Absently, he remembered how he had irrationally purchased them as an armor to defend her against him. They still had weak defense. Or maybe his attack was too high, he thought and weakly smiled.

When Auron returned, he propped his sword by the door and went to check on Raine right away. Still asleep.

He filled his arms with all the soiled items he could find: the pajama bottoms, her underwear, the towel he used to dry her hair, his cloak and carried them to the utility room across the hall. Accustomed to doing his own laundry when Raine was at work, Auron knew from experience how much soap to add and which cycle to set. He took special care to search every pocket in his cloak, to remove every spare ampoule he'd tucked away and as he came across them he stacked them upright on the upper shelf with the soap. When he found the wedding rings, he stared at them in his hand for a long time, expecting them to slowly vanish before his eye, but when they didn't, he set them carefully by the potions. The rings had been acquired in the Zanarkand Dream, but like Raine, they became something more when they crossed the portal to Spira. Real enough to throw into the ravine in Macalania at least. By all accounts, the rings should still be there, but as an unsent, Auron understood more than anyone some things were never where they should be.

As the drum filled, he nimbly unlaced his boots and kicked them off by the heat register to dry, then loosened the snaps on his collar to lift his leather plate over his head and positioned it next to his boots. He emptied his trouser pockets, put his sunglasses on the shelf where everything else was, then shoved them into the washer. Auron waited for the wash to finish filling before he went to start a hot shower. He had walked stark naked through the houseboat before, but never while Raine was home, even if she was sleeping. Afraid what an unintentional—or intentional—walk-in would do to their dynamic, Auron had become little more than a prude. How silly he had been, considering he had already been thinking of her naked and Raine's obvious proposition in her early twenties had suggested the same. Auron feared he was betraying Tidus' trust, but it had been the whole reason Tidus wanted him there. To be honest, if Tidus had told Auron the real reason he wanted him in Zanarkand was to settle down with Raine and make babies, Auron wouldn't have come. Too many debts to collect with Sin.




Everything Looks Better Ch. 11



He closed the bathroom door so the sound of the shower wouldn't rouse Raine, although it wouldn't have disappointed him if she came in and asked to join. Auron never asked to have a say in the kinds of toiletries Raine purchased, so the shampoo smelled like vanilla and the soap had some sort of exotic fruit scent, but they efficiently removed all the sand in his hair, between his toes and other unmentionable places. After rinsing, he used another towel from the linen closet to dry off and found Raine's white robe on the back of the door. It wasn't the first time he had borrowed it, considering he never did have a change of clothes. The hem reached his mid-thighs and the sleeves were too short for his arms, but he knew she wouldn't mind. She never wore it anyway.

Hoping she might be awake when he finished, Auron discovered her still in hibernation mode and wondered if she had gotten much sleep the night before their wedding. There was a significant time difference between Zanarkand and Spira and it was possible she was already running on fumes when she had fallen into the canyon. Auron prayed all she needed was to catch up on sleep in order to be right as rain. Right as Raine. Auron cracked a smile at his play on words.

Auron transferred his clothes to the dryer in the utility room before slumping into the arm chair facing the bed to wait. Although he wasn't sure how, he managed to sneak in a quick nap before the buzzer went off and Auron felt a little more himself when he was showered and in dry clothes. The emotional wound Tidus had inflicted was still open, but at least it had been cleaned and dressed.

Swiping his sunglasses off the shelf over the dryer, he remembered they needed to be cleaned and ran them under the tap in the kitchen, using a clean dishtowel to shine the lenses. He tried them on, removed them one more time to blow off a few specks and nestled them securely over his ears.

There were some dishes in the sink, leftover from Raine's last meal and Auron dutifully inserted the plug and filled the sink with hot water. While looking for the dish soap in its usual spot under the sink, he noticed a new piece of machina had been installed since the renovation. It was made of the same shiny steel as the refrigerator and stove and when Auron found the handle release, discovered racks inside with other dirty dishes. Since there was no soap anyway, he drained the sink and put the dishes into the empty slots of the new appliance and reminded himself to ask Raine how to use it later. Auron felt a little useless in the kitchen now. He used to keep busy in the houseboat with the endless list of repairs, but now everything was new and he didn't know what to do with himself. It was a temporary problem. After what he put her through in Spira, Raine would ask him to leave soon enough.

His gaze settled on his katana by the door and recalled it still needed maintaining. Throwing the strap of the sheath over his shoulder, he headed for his old bedroom. He had to admit the room looked sharp with walls and new flooring, although it was still furnished sparsely, his old bed remade with new sheets and pillow cases. During the renovation, Raine had the brace for his sword taken down, to most likely appease Jory, but in those couple weeks before their Dome wedding, he had found it under the bed with his sharpening gear. She had saved all the belongings Auron had. They might have been hidden where Jory wouldn't see them, but they were there, much like her feelings.

Sliding out the sharpening box, he blew off a little dust and carried it back to the kitchen to set it up on the peninsula counter. He got to work right away, but had to stop halfway through the coarsest grit to detach his glasses from his face. Scowling at them in the light, Auron inspected for scratches and eventually pitched them to the adjacent counter.

For the next hour, he was able to lose himself in the chore, forgetting about Dream Zanarkand, Tidus, and his future with Raine. For sentimental reasons, he didn't work very hard to repurpose Raine's notch, but while he was focused on an old routine his muddled thoughts cleared and he was able to relax. When his sword was razor sharp, so was his mind and as he rubbed in the oil, he felt renewed. Putting it away was also part of the ritual, the stones all in their proper sleeves and when the kit was back together, he set it by the door and leaned his sword and scabbard against it so they were ready to go when he was.

He checked the refrigerator for supplies. Raine would be hungry when she woke up and though there wasn't much, there was cheese and crusty bread and beer to tide her over until the next run to the store. There had been other instances when he had made it to the store and back while Raine slept, but Auron didn't want to risk it. He wanted to be here when she woke. There was much to discuss and it occurred to him there was something he needed her to do. Something important. To prepare for this, Auron opened some of the kitchen drawers, looking for a specific item.

Previously marveling at the existence of drawer facings and cupboard doors, Auron was now annoyed everything had been moved around, but during his hunt, he came across a cupboard filled with Jecht's old stash, half empty bottles of liquor. At first he ignored it, but when he finally found what he was looking for, went back to the cabinet on impulse and grabbed whatever bottle was first. In Raine's bedroom, he arranged both items on the dresser.

For the rest of the afternoon, Auron sat on the back deck and casually surveyed the boat traffic, dozing sporadically. When it started to get dark, his naps were becoming longer and closer together and he decided to go back inside for some real sleep. He settled in the chair by the bed and propped his feet on the footboard. Sleep wasn't necessary for him to function, but he still did it on occasion. Like deep meditation, sleep was good for his soul. However, his soul must have been troubled because the moment he fell asleep, he dreamed of terrible things.

He dreamed he had become Sin the way he and Raine had planned and he worked very hard inside Sin to stop the cycle, even meeting with Yu Yevon, but before he could convince the ancient summoner to end the rebirth, Auron found himself covered in oily black lesions that itched and was absorbed into Sin before he could change anything. He also dreamed of his first Pilgrimage, with Yuna's father, but Summoner Braska and Jecht wouldn't listen when Auron tried to talk them into battle with Yunalesca instead of choosing a final Aeon.

In another dream, Auron was Raine that morning when her mother died. He did all those things she did to get ready for school. He ate toast and drank juice, checked over his math homework, even surprised himself by how well he curled his hair and put on cosmetics. While aware this was the morning Raine found her mother dead, he was still forced to perform the mundane tasks leading up to it, wishing he would wake up before it was time to go in to say goodbye. But he relived it like Raine and when he shook her mother's shoulder she rolled over on her back and Auron began screaming because it wasn't Raine's mother in the bed it was Raine and he couldn't stop screaming because of all the Pyreflies so many Pyreflies....

Auron must have been fussing in his sleep because he woke with a jolt when his heel slipped off the footboard. Sitting erect in the chair, he collected his wits and tried to get his eye to focus on the bed. The room was dark except for a sliver of dock light coming in through the curtains. He cocked his head slightly to center his halved vision, but it didn't look like Raine was in bed at all. Rising from the chair, he leaned against the footboard and felt around until he came across the hill of her calf. Rounding the bedpost, his dream was coming back to him as he touched her shoulder to make sure she was still breathing. She was and he sighed in relief.

Self-sendings are rare, he reminded himself, but he couldn't shake the terror from the dream, which seemed to erase all the work he had put in to improve his mentality. He unsnapped his collar, removed his cuirass and slipped carefully into bed with her. He might not be as effective at stopping a sending as Raine was, but if it was going to happen he would be there so she wouldn't have to be alone when it did.

He didn't mean to fall back asleep, but when he woke in the morning, Raine wasn't there.

*

Raine rarely asked Auron what she was like as a child, but when she did bring up those times when Auron had to babysit, he could only seem to remember one night. He knew he had minded the children on several occasions, but that one night had seared so vividly in his brain that it was all he could ever recall. After Raine and Tidus went to bed, it was Auron's routine to sit on the front porch, although their usual sitter usually just sat on the couch, watching shows and eating ice cream from the canister. Auron took his duties a little more seriously. Every hour he would patrol the yard and once around ten he would report back to the kids' bedroom to check on their safety. One evening, the night Auron never forgot, the children's twin beds were vacant and the gaping horror that followed was so far outside Auron's typical reactions, his insides went cold. Thinking back, he couldn't remember what drew his attention to the closet, a giggle or a hush, but he remembered stalking over to the closet and throwing it open. Still in their pajamas, Tidus and Raine jumped out, their hands shaped like mock-claws, their expressions puerilely sinister as they bellowed in unison, "Rawr!" Their efforts to scare Auron had worked, but not in the way they intended and fear to Auron was such a foreign sensation that he did not know how to rightly process it. Like a drill sergeant with a wet boot, Auron hollered at top volume. Most of what he said he would never remember because of the way Tidus' face crumpled as he burst into immediate tears and Raine's face fell and went sheer white. He continued to berate them with punishments until they were quivering under their blankets and he spent the remainder of the night seething on the porch.

That horrible moment when Auron first walked in and found the children missing was how he felt when he woke up in the morning and found his arms wrapped around air.

A slow expression of repulsion crept to his face and he whimpered, stroking the sheets in the empty space next to him. It was impossible...her mother had suffered years of degenerative depression...how could Raine...in one night?

The muffled swoosh and gurgle of the toilet in the bathroom was physically startling and Auron's relief stunned him into a numbing daze as he organized his thoughts. Raine had not died in the night and she did not self-send. She had to pee.

When she opened the bathroom door, Auron's flare of rage was as familiar as the night she jumped out of the closet with her brother and he glowered at her, pinning her to the doorway. Maybe he was used to feelings bombarding him now or maybe it was the stabbing regret he always felt when he remembered that night, but the anger was much milder now.

"What?" she asked.

"A note would have been helpful," he growled, although he hadn't actually taken the time to look for one. Emotions made him unreasonable, he learned.

"To go to the bathroom?"

"Leave the door open next time."

"Number one and two?"

Sometimes the things she said, he couldn't tell if he didn't understand them because they were from different worlds, different eras or different generations. It irked him more than usual. "What?" he snapped.

"Nevermind," she said and stretched out lazily over the foot of the bed like a feline coeurl from the Calm Lands.

Auron's eye flickered over her face. It had an overall puffy look, but at least her eyes weren't bloodshot. She was still tired, her eyes dull, her face resistant to smile and everything she said was bland and dryly monotone. "Did you see him?" he asked. "Tidus?"

"In the portal? No, but I heard him talking. He called me Brainy Rainy." She looked up. "Did you?"

Auron hesitated and then nodded.

She looked hurt for a moment but it passed. "We'll find a way, won't we? To get back into Spira?"

He considered her doubtfully.

"My father got into Spira somehow, isn't it possible we could too?"

"That was a fluke. Your father was at the right place at the right time when Sin got too close to the dream world. It could have easily been anyone else at sea that day."

She didn't look convinced.

"Tidus loves you and he wants you to be safe and happy."

Raine swallowed and looked away indignantly. "Then why are you still here?"

Remorse spiked through him miserably and he threw back the covers as he got out of bed to hide the expression from her. He approached the dresser for the items he had gathered yesterday in preparation for her rousing and set them on the night table, turning the bottle slightly so the label would face her. Kneeling on the mattress in front of Raine, Auron saw she had a wretched, apologetic expression on her face and her eyes had a fresh gleam as tears welled.

"I didn't mean it like that," she croaked.

He nodded once. "I know."

"I thought Tidus would want you in Spira to fight Sin, end the cycle, save the world and all that."

"Apparently, your brother cares for my happiness as well."

"Selfish asshole," she muttered. Her attempt at humor was dry and Auron guessed part of her meant it. "He didn't even let us try."

"He never intended for us to get as far as we did."

Her bloated eyes frowned as she evinced puzzlement. "What are you doing with my father's hard liquor?"

"After what we've been through, I figure we earned it."

Raine met his eye circumspectly. "I thought you didn't approve of that kind of escapism."

"One night won't kill us." Inebriation was a temporary fix, but everyone needed a break sometimes. "I think I was a little harsh with you in Spira when you asked before, but I was afraid it would lower your inhibitions."

"And now?"

"I'm counting on it," he said and offered a tiny grin as he swept his eye over the curve of her hip. "I miss you."

She faintly smiled and her swollen eyes looked drowsy.

"There's a bottle here if you want it. I won't judge you."

"Who would have thought Sir Auron would ever suggest a night of drinking and fornication," she said, her eyes flicking to his with a glint. It was a small expression, but it relieved him greatly.

"Maybe I should start first. My tolerance is higher than yours, but I've been told it also lowers my inhibitions."

"Oh?" she said sourly. "From one of the women whose names you don't remember?"

Ignoring her flash of jealousy, he said, "Your father, actually. Jecht had a bad influence on me, I'm afraid. I think his exact words were: 'Take that stick out of your ass and have another drink.'"

Raine snorted.

It was the best she could do right now, Auron guessed, but he would take it. "Before you came along, the only thing that could remove said stick was letting your father get me drunk."

She sighed wearily. "I suppose you think this counts as your grand gesture? Choosing me over the Pilgrimage?"

Auron's smile didn't reach his eyes and he held her gaze evenly until she realized it.

At first, splotches of peachy heat appeared on her pale cheeks and she tried to smile to disguise her embarrassment, but it appeared strained. "You did choose the pilgrimage."

"Hmm," he said, clenching his face to suppress a dreary expression. "But Tidus wants me here."

She held onto that arid smile and Auron figured it was all she could do to keep herself together. "So even if I asked you to leave, you couldn't."

"I hope you don't, but if you did, I would make it so you'd never have to see me again."

She gave that serious thought and raised a dubious eyebrow. "I don't know. Zanarkand isn't as big as I once thought it was. How do we avoid the accidental run-in at the market?"

Auron stifled a smile. "Trust me, it would never be accidental."

"It never was, I suppose," she said and looked away reflectively. He knew she was thinking of those times he seemed to pop out of nowhere: her mother's funeral, the Blitzball arena in C-south, and on Gagazet.

Leaning over her slowly, Auron made his intension known early so she could reject him if she wanted, but she tilted her face obligingly. He kissed her sweetly, open-mouthed, and although they didn't touch tongues, she tasted salty, like the ocean. It was their first kiss in Zanarkand and Auron was pleased it felt as real as it did in Spira.

"You're warm again," she murmured. "Does that mean you're more alive here than in Spira?"

"Tidus told me anything's possible in the dream world." He dropped his eye. "My grand gesture was to save him, you understand? As my wife's brother. I'm sorry I failed."

A bleak intensity appeared in her eyes, an expression he couldn't interpret, until she crashed into his arms. He let out a small hiccup on the impact of her brutal hug and deduced it meant he could stay.

"As my counterpart, will you do something for me?" he asked into her hair.

She moved her face back and looked at him warily. "Tell me what it is first."

Auron reached over to the bedside table for the second thing he had gotten and showed her what was in his hand. She gave it a quizzical look at first until she knew what he meant for her to do.

Her eyes met his sharply. "No!"

Inwardly sighing, Auron slanted his head, faintly pleading.

"No, I won't do it! Do it yourself if you have to, but leave me out of it."

"It is traditional for the warrior's wife to cut it off for him when he's lost a battle," Auron explained.

"I don't see a ring on my finger," she said defiantly.

"I thought you might say that." Auron dug into the pocket of his breeches, fishing around until he felt the tinkle of two rings and showed them to her in his open palm. He had grabbed them from the shelf in the utility room the same time as his sunglasses.

She pinched hers, incredulously scrutinizing it. "How did you—"

"Tidus salvaged them."

She scowled. Asshole, she seemed to say.

Auron slid his ring on the proper finger. He hadn't worn it since they left the Dome's chapel. Expecting a Sinspawn attack, Auron had been worried it might get lost or damaged if he left it on.

Wiggling his digits at her, Auron dared her to follow his example. She did, grudgingly because she dreaded what she would have to do. She nodded upwardly at the glass jug of spirits. "I think I'll need a drink first."

With a suspicious glare, Auron discerned she was prolonging the inevitable, but snatched the bottle and twisted the cap. He handed it over to her. She sniffed the opening and recoiled, but tipped it back and sipped, swallowing with difficulty. As far as he knew, it was her first taste of something besides beer and her face turned ruddy with warmth.

"Uh," she grunted. "And I thought holy water was bad."

With a smirk, he grabbed the bottle and took a swig. Then two. Then three. It was the cheap stuff, he realized, which was probably why there was so much left over.

"Ready?" she asked. She was already a little bleary-eyed, but he wasn't sure if it was from the sting of alcohol or because of what he was making her do. She stole the scissors out of his hand. "Turn around."

Auron rotated and sat in front of her, propping the bottle on his leg. He felt the light tug on the nape of his neck as she adjusted his tail and after a firm wrench, he heard the squeak of the metal hinge as the scissors opened. Another yank, a hasty snip and release.

An emerging tear required Auron to take another pull from the bottle so he could rub his eye without Raine detecting.




Everything Looks Better Ch. 11



"Do you want to see it?"

"No. Get rid of it."

"But it's your tail."

"Not anymore."

Another tear came without warning and it itched as it soaked into his beard. Raine was sweet enough to pretend not to notice as she crawled out of bed and swung open the door to the back deck. She wasn't gone long, but Auron took the chance to wipe his face and run his hand over the back of his neck to feel how short it was, which made him guzzle at least three more swallows of inexpensive tasting liquor.

Damn you, Tidus.

Raine came back in with her Abes shirt in her hand and closed the door. "I hope you saved some for me," she said.

Auron smiled, handed her the bottle and pulled her into bed.



Everything Looks Better Ch. 12



Dawn came as a sliver of apricot on the perfect ocean horizon. Approaching the houseboat, dashes of sunlight reflecting on the water were slashed by navy stripes of distant waves. Normally dawn meant quitting time, but this morning Raine halted her exercise to look. She had seen a thousand sunrises, but something told her to pay attention to this one, as if it were Zanarkand's last daybreak. 

"What are you doing?" 

"The sun is pretty this morning," Raine said, drifting out of her battle stance. She glanced over her shoulder at Auron. The muscles and veins in his arms were rigid and his katana was raised to strike, but now he lowered it a drop, raising a wise eye over her head to the sea. 

Raine transferred her lance to one hand, sagely propping the handle on the deck with a soft thud. Auron approached her side and grinned down at her. A morning wind ruffled his hair, which was whiter these days and was in need of a trim, and as he faced the sun, his new tail switched across his shoulder. It had recently been laced in a wonky braid and tied off with a pink butterfly clip. 

Every day before dawn, Auron instructed her on the finer points of combat, something he knew more about than Summoning and sending dances. Apparently, Auron had been impressed with her ability to wield a patio umbrella on that day of the Sinspawn attack and found her a used spear for practically free at the auction house in G-west. If they did find a way back to Spira, Raine agreed she would give Summoning another try. Auron had also been impressed with her aptitude to nearly send him, without the status benefits of a staff, and Raine gathered that was supposed to be a big deal. But if it didn't work out, she would at least have back-up skills as a Guardian. 

It used to be dawn was the only time they could find to train for their next pilgrimage, right before Raine went to work, but now they did it mostly out of habit. After twelve years of searching for a way back to Spira, pilgrimage ambitions had gotten stale. Talk of Spira was now perfunctory, conversational, their Spiran agendas now mechanical and empty, like an extravagant vacation they would never be able to afford. 

As they settled their gazes back on the sunrise, Raine grabbed her spear with both hands and spun counter clockwise, swinging the shaft down at the back of Auron's calves, flipping his feet out from under him. With a grunt, he landed hard on his back and Raine shoved the head of her lance into his face, halting just inches of his nose. The impact of his fall rocked the deck and water smacked against the sides of the boat. 

Auron didn't flinch but arched an eyebrow at her, and when he found his breath said, "You play dirty." 

Raine smiled. "Oh, you have no idea." 

"I thought I did," he said, waving the spear out of his face and sitting up. He reached up to her and she grabbed his hand, hauling him to his feet. "I was winning, you know." 

"You were winning," she said. "Lucky for me, you're a sucker for sunrises." 

"I know a Ronso who might be interested in learning that move," Auron said. More obligatory Spira chat. Who were they fooling? Raine was never going to meet a real Ronso. "Although I doubt Kimahri would have an easier time distracting me with a pretty daybreak." 

While Auron twisted at the waist to stretch out, Raine heard his spine snap in several places as he corrected his back and she inwardly grimaced in guilt. For a man nearing sixty, he looked great, but even Legendary Guardians wear out eventually and Raine found herself pulling her punches a little more often than usual. She would never tell him that, though. Maybe it was an unnecessary precaution, but it was one she extended into the bedroom, volunteering to be on top on account of the trouble his back gave. Not that she minded. And once they got into a rhythm, neither did Auron. 

With the assumption Sin would someday venture close enough to the Zanarkand dream so they could hitch a ride back to Spira, Raine made friends with some of the other marina residents, most notably the ones with sea-ready vessels, since their rickety houseboat could barely survive monsoon season. Masquerading the search for Sin as a social event, Raine entertained and Auron easily played the part as the reclusive whale watcher, standing guard with binoculars. Without Tidus' influence, the chances of meeting Sin at sea were astronomical, but they had to try, even if it meant risking their socialite friends. Dreams were disposable in the grand scheme of it all, Auron tried to make Raine see. 

"I was a dream once," she reminded him on several occasions. 

"More like a recurring nightmare," he would joke and managed to wink at her, not easy with only one eye. For four years they hunted Sin this way, but after Auron and Raine got the surprise of their life, they came to a mutual agreement their time would be better spent finding a way off the dream without Sin. 

There was no way of knowing for sure what was happening outside of the dream and it was quite possible Tidus had already been defeated as Sin by another Summoner party. Raine knew Auron didn't like to talk about this. If it was true, the fact there was still a Zanarkand dream for them to live in meant the cycle went on and someone else's Guardian was now the catalyst for Sin's rebirth. Auron had been prepared to sacrifice himself to make sure that never happened again. During their midnight pillow talks, Raine would try to pin Auron down on details about which one of them would become Sin if it came to that, but he would promptly shut down and evade her. "I'm still thinking on that," he would say and roll towards her with his most persuasive kiss to end the conversation. 

Bracing her spear on her shoulder, Raine headed inside the houseboat. "Shower?" 

After consideration, Auron said, "The girls will be up soon." 

"Hmm." Raine nodded. "I don't think Willow bought that water conservation excuse we gave her last time." 

"She did get all your brains," Auron mocked blame and held the screen door open for her. 

After locking their weapons in the glass case by the stairs, Auron went to prepare the morning meal and Raine hurried to the bedroom to undress and start the shower. 

All her paid time-off was used up during her first wedding and Raine had nothing left when she returned to Zanarkand, but wrestled with her decision to go back to work at all. She was unsure she could keep up the charade of Zanarkand life, knowing everything around her was just a massive simulation. Her first few broadcasts were agonizing, fearing she would stray from the teleprompter with declarations of other worlds, dreams and Summoners. But that was the fastest way to unemployment and, like the real world of Spira, Dream Zanarkand still had an economy that ran on money. It got better over time, her urge to rip the wool off her viewers' faces, although when her father or brother came up in interviews or panel discussions, Raine found herself smiling like a lunatic to disguise her impulse to stand up and cry, "He's Sin, all right? They both were! Their deaths meant something. They were not born for Zanarkand's own amusement! They bought Spira time!" And they did, Raine eventually realized. Whatever reason, suicide or sacrifice, they became Sin so someone else didn't have to and gave people of Spira more time to figure out how to defeat Sin for good. 

Raine's shower was quick and efficient to leave some hot water for Auron and to take over getting the girls ready for school while he showered for the day. After, Raine would have hustle to get ready for work. Today was a big day. Tournaments. She liked to get there early to watch warm-ups. Sometimes pre-games showed her more about the players than in the actual game. She expected to be late tonight and if she couldn't tuck the girls in at night, she liked to spend time with them at breakfast. 

She dried off before stepping out of the shower to avoid making puddles she didn't have time to mop up, running the towel over her arms and legs. Not long after starting their early morning exercise regimen, Raine had noticed her arms taking on more definition and she could feel her core getting stronger. As an added bonus, it snapped her body back into shape after both pregnancies. Auron developed a less rigorous routine during her early months, but a few weeks before her third trimester, he would wheedle her back into bed and show her the only exercise she was allowed for the remainder of the pregnancy. 

Discovering she was pregnant had been relatively traumatic for Raine. She had disposed of her birth control prior to her first wedding and didn't bother getting more after her second since Auron believed himself to be infertile. Plagued by dark fantasies of Auron leaving her, Raine took nine days to tell him. Once a cheater, always a cheater, someone had told Raine once, and there had been that one night Raine caught Auron spying on her and Colton from work when she had to stay late at the station. When she had confronted Auron about the snooping, he just muttered something about "old habits," but Raine wasn't sure if he was talking about his Guardian days or how Raine had offered herself to Auron when she was already committed to Jory. 

"I'm pregnant," Raine had blurted when Auron asked her if she wanted to split a beer. 

One hand on the refrigerator handle, Auron's head rotated to look at her over his shoulder. By then she was used to him without his sunglasses, but she wasn't used to seeing his only eye dance quite like that. He had also been wearing his collar informally open, revealing short stubble and lips that could be kissed whenever the mood struck. Except now those lips were simpering and Raine's face turned to stone as she realized something. 

"You knew," she said stiffly. 

There was a warble of confusion in his eyebrows. "That you were pregnant?" 

"That I could get pregnant." 

"Tidus mentioned—" he started but stopped. Whatever mirth was left on his face drained when he realized he was in two worlds of trouble. 

"You don't think that was something I should know? You know I'm being considered for my own show, you didn't once think to tell me it might be a good idea to pick up some birth control, you know, just in case?" 

"I thought you wanted..." He drifted off and looked away, jaw flexing, surely realizing nothing he said would come close to an excuse. 

"My own show, Auron! It's been in the works for a year. I've been grooming Colton to take my place as sports anchor." 

Auron shot her a murderous look at the mention of her co-worker, awarding credibility to Raine's suspicions of his jealousy. "I'm aware of your time with Colton." 

"I thought we agreed you would stop keeping things from me." 

"I meant to tell you. I figured if it was going to happen, it would happen right away. When it didn't, I was glad I didn't tell you." 

To Raine, it wasn't about the show. Okay, it was a little about the show; she had worked very hard to get it. Usually she didn't mind he preferred to hold his cards close, but when they had the potential to derail her life with an untimely discard, Raine wondered why she bothered to plan anything. 

Although Raine wanted to argue with him, she knew Auron had been right not to tell her. It had been four years since their return to Zanarkand, four happy years that might instead have been filled with angst over the pressure of getting pregnant. It would have wrecked her. She had finally come to grips with being childless, filling her life with other things to occupy her time and realizing she'd rather be childless than without Auron. Auron was the only thing in Zanarkand she could be sure was real. She wouldn't give him up for all the dream children in the world. 

Collecting himself, Auron closed his eye. "Are you keeping it?" 

Raine knew it had been hard for him to ask this. As a former monk with very traditional opinions of a woman's right to choose, Auron was the minority in a progressive city like Zanarkand. But there was no question. The chances of becoming pregnant with Auron's child were one in a million. 

Actually two in a million, they had learned three years later. 

Slipping on the robe from the back of the bathroom door, Raine was going to have to kick it in high gear if she was going to have any time with the girls this morning. Shaking the towel through her wet hair, she turned on the water and opened the medicine cabinet for her toothbrush. After Raine squeezed toothpaste onto the bristles, the hiss of the water on the ceramic sink stopped suddenly and she gave the sink a very irritated what now? look. They just had the plumbing replaced. 

But the water was still running. No, not running. Not really. The stream was still there, under the faucet, suspended in time. Curiously, she swiped her toothbrush through the water, cutting the stream, leaving a gravity-defying gap in the middle. 

Raine gasped, threw her toothbrush in the sink with a flimsy clatter, and darted into the bedroom. She was stopped by the familiar Fayth in the purple hood, who was sitting hunched on the arm chair by the bed, his knees drawn up to his face, his child-sized brown boots braced on the cushion, and he was surrounded in a cloud of Pyreflies. 

"Remember me?" he asked, amiably enough, but she couldn't help to regard his presence as a direct violation of her space. When Fayth appeared, good things didn't follow. 

Driven by a sudden, unwanted vision of her family in the kitchen, frozen in mid-laugh or mid-bite, Raine bolted for her bedroom door. In a blink, the Fayth boy was standing in front of her and she had to literally skid to a stop on the throw rug to avoid smacking into him. Both standing, she realized he was not quite as tall as her chest. 

For a long time after returning to Zanarkand, Raine had often ruminated about the Fayth's instructions to her on the train the day of her second wedding. Don't think he said to her, right before hurling the world back into motion, and it seemed to imply she thought too much, perhaps impeding her own ability to come up with obvious answers. Eventually, she asked Auron about it and he gave her a thoughtful frown as he considered what it meant, but startled her when he erupted into a deep chortle. 

"The Fayth said something similar to Tidus before we left Zanarkand," Auron explained to her. "He told me about it later in Spira." 

"What did the fayth say to Tidus?" 

"Don't cry." Auron had waited in suspended humor until Raine caught up to the hilarity of it. They had a good laugh over it. 

Now, she only dreaded what the child-Fayth had to say. Part of her already knew it and had feared it for years. Knowing she wouldn't be able to leave her daughters behind, she certainly wasn't going to bring them to Spira and make them join a pilgrimage. Although Auron once told her he knew Guardians as young as 10 years old, Raine could tell he wasn't keen on bringing their daughters to Spira, either. And so began the habit of talking around Spira, as if it were the dream, the vacation they would never dare take, the reality they were happy to ignore if it would keep their daughter's safe. Auron had now become Tidus, content with the dream being not so much a prison anymore, but a refugee camp, a witness protection program, or unused attic space for harboring fugitives. So much for thinking of dreams as disposable. 

"It won't be long," the Fayth said, vaguely cryptic as his voice echoed, even though the bedroom was actually quite soundproof. Raine and Auron had tested it many times. 

"Is Sin coming?" Raine asked. She looked with longing to the bedroom door for Auron to come barging in. He was the only real thing in Zanarkand; surely he wasn't susceptible to this time-freeze like everyone else, although he didn't even mention the discrepancy the last time the Fayth visited her, which told Raine he had been a part of it like everyone else. 

"Not exactly," he said and took in a huge, hesitant breath, and just held it for a moment. Willow would often do the same thing, just before telling a truth she didn't want to admit. "Several months ago, a Summoner party defeated Yunalesca." 

"How will they get the Final Aeon without Yunalesca?" 

"They are attempting to beat Sin without it." The boy looked away in the general direction of the bed, but Raine always had the peculiar feeling the Fayth was able to exist in many worlds at once and was looking at something in another plane in order to give her an accurate play-by-play of Spira's events. "They've already breached Sin's outer armor and have attacked Yu Yevon inside." 

"That's wonderful news," Raine said and smiled uncertainly. She sensed a "But." 

"It is. Soon, we will be able to rest." 

Feeling physically ill at what that entailed, Raine grappled for the bed post. She glanced away unhappily, thinking of a time when the Fayth expected Raine to end the dream. The boy was certainly aware of events in Zanarkand. He had to know she and Auron had spent a large portion of their time in Zanarkand making love, having babies and generally taking advantage of happiness whenever it presented itself, and not enough time, in comparison, exploring a way out of the dream. Constantly reminding herself of the dream's existence was exhausting and sometimes it was simply a relief to pull the wool caps over their own eyes and forget. "I understand. I'm sorry we couldn't end it for you sooner." 

"I also understand. Life is short enough." He nodded knowingly. "At least you lived it fully." 

The first part sounded like forgiveness; the second part cautionary. Raine tried not to look defeated. "Thank you for taking the time to see me." Thank you for warning me. 

A moment later, the Fayth was gone and the water in the faucet blasted against the sink, making her jump. Quickly, she returned to the bath to shut off the water and stared with bleak strain into the gurgling drain for a moment, trying to decide if she'd been dreaming. No, Brainy Rainy. You're the dream. 

Auron. He had to be notified of this. She headed for the bedroom door just as he strode in. 

"Did you see that?" she asked. 

"See what? You in a robe?" The corners of his eyes crinkled as he grinned, grabbing at the terrycloth ropes. "I want a rematch." 

"Auron, wait—" 

"Hesitation is our worst enemy when the girls are eating cereal," he murmured against her lips and opened her robe. His hands slid around to her ass and his bold tongue stabbed into her mouth. He was using his bedroom voice, a husky sound he made when he was in the mood. It took her awhile to catch on to it, but when she did, realized he'd used it on her before: that evening in Spira, instructing her on sword sharpening. And again at the houseboat after she had propositioned him ("Everything you give me is more than I need") and even as far back as that night having dinner with her aunt and uncle, when Auron lead her uncle to believe he had been talking about the Duggles ("They play dirty, but I think that's their appeal"). Since she wasn't yet of age, Raine was sure the tone had been mostly unconscious for him then. Well, pretty sure. 

Growled through his teeth like a curse, Auron had told her he loved her for the first time during some intense lovemaking not long after returning to Zanarkand. Once, she thought Auron couldn't love her as much as she loved him, but that wasn't true. Her mistake was forcing Auron think of love in her selfish way. Auron loved cautiously and once Raine realized that, she never hassled him for validation again, not like that evening by Macalania Lake. Suicide or sacrifice, she had demanded. How selfish of her to make him decide. When he didn't understand the subtle difference, she misunderstood this to mean he didn't understand love or was incapable of it. Tidus had made Auron decide, too: Zanarkand or Spira. It pained her to know Auron chose Spira over Zanarkand, the pilgrimage over her. But it occurred to Raine he had done it knowing he could only choose one and he chose to avenge Tidus for her. Was that suicide or sacrifice? For Auron, it was probably both, but either way, it was selfless and wasn't that what love was supposed to be? Auron understood this better than Raine. He even understood it better than Tidus. 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 12



Raine kissed Auron back, realizing it might be their last, but when he started to lead her to the bed, she had to stop him. "Tonight then?" 

"Um, yes. Tonight." 

He tilted his head at her. "Are you all right?" 

"I'm fine," she said, forcing a smile. It was a last minute decision not to tell him. She wasn't sure what he would do if he knew the Fayth had been there and she didn't want him to scare the kids. 

"You're trembling," he observed. 

Cinching her robe tight, Raine said, "That's what kissing you does to me." 

Auron snorted. "Maybe once. Before the girls." 

A wave of guilty sadness came over her. After numerous interruptions, it was easy to allow things to get routine when they had to forego creativity for efficiency. "I will always love kissing you." 

"Ok," Auron said with a bemused smile. 

"Will you have breakfast with us?" 

He shook his head dismissively. "I'm not hungry." 

"Please," Raine said. "Have breakfast with your daughters." 

This time, Auron frowned. "Are you sure you're okay?" 

"Everything's fine. Will you?" 

"I'll be out in a minute. I'm going to jump in the shower." 

Raine hesitated. "Okay. Just hurry." His look was downright suspicious, but Raine didn't want to waste any more time worrying about how much time they had. "The girls have to get to school." 

"I'll be hasty." 

In the galley kitchen, Willow and Basil were sitting at the peninsula island with bowls of cold cereal and juice. Willow had an open school text next to her as she finished up her arithmetic homework. She had been named for the Willow Tree City Park in C-South and so far she had never asked why. Raine once queried Auron on when they should tell Willow she had been conceived on a city lot, to which Auron sternly replied, "Never." That evening hadn't been their first time acting out Auron's fantasy on the swings, while Raine sported her old cheerleading uniform, but it had been the first time night patrol caught them and chased them away. 

Basil, who was almost named Tidus until Auron lost the gender-guess, was wearing a pair of old sunglasses her father had bequeathed to her, the reflective lenses very large and dark against her small pale face. Naturally, Auron had been hoping for a boy on their second round, which was evident to Raine by his friendly rivalry and his fake ideals about "evening out the household," but Raine knew he was leery about a house full of girls: Raine and girls like Raine. But when they got Basil instead, Auron never looked back. Raine would tell him he was being punished for being mean to her when she was a kid and Auron would only playfully complain about it. Basil clearly took after him, so much more composed and aloof than her older sister, Willow, who took after Raine, deviously crafty and cared far too much what others thought of her. The girls got their good qualities and an equal amount of bad, too. 

At the sight of her children, Raine was hit in the stomach with a sack of rocks as she understood the girls would always be this age and a swoop of inner hysteria nearly gave her away. She tried to appear ordinary as she circled around the counter and kissed both girls on the tops of their heads. Basil, the younger one, was too reclusive to acknowledge the affection and Willow was too preoccupied with her studies. 

Willow looked up, chewing on the end of her pencil, taking the challenges of second grade very seriously. "Can you help me? I can't get this last problem." 

Raine reached over and closed the book. "Finish it later. I forgot to tell you, no school today." 

Willow gasped, slapping her hand over her mouth. Basil was sipping juice from a glass with both hands and smiled simply at Raine with a pulpy, orange mustache. 

"Do we get to spend the day with Daddy?" Willow asked. 

"And me, too." 

"Don't you have watch Blitzball?" Willow asked. 

"I'm not going in today." 

Willow gasped again at Basil and Basil merely mimed a gasp without actually making a sound. 

"Can we go swimming?" Willow squealed. 

Looking up suddenly, Basil's eyebrows were up, quietly ecstatic with her sister's idea as she hung in suspense of Raine's answer. 

Raine suppressed a smile. She had tried to teach Auron to swim, but he was much too interested in tugging on the strings of her bikini. "We should find something the four of us can do. You know your dad doesn't like the water." 

"He can dip his feet in and play lifeguardian!" Willow cried, hardly able to contain herself in her chair. 

Basil nodded enthusiastically. 

Both girls were different, but the one thing they could agree on was swimming and Blitzball. They weren't anyone if they weren't their Uncle Tidus' nieces and Raine could tell it annoyed Auron. Between Tidus and Raine, he'd already spent the majority of his Zanarkand life in a Blitzball arena, and it was clear there would be more Blitzball in his future. At least, there would have been. 

"We'll see. Finish your cereal." 

They ate quickly, Willow giggling, Basil smiling and Raine receded to the back of the kitchen to watch them, soaking in every detail of the morning meal, the pajamas they were wearing, the way their blonde hair was shaped like their pillows, knowing it was the last time they would be together like this. 

Thankfully, Aunt Naya was able to meet both girls before passing away two years ago, although she could never keep them straight, especially near the end. "No, Auntie Naya, I'm Willow. That's Basil!" their oldest would proclaim with an exasperated sigh. Aunt Naya would make up for it by bringing out a plate of cookies, which made both girls light up and look to Auron for permission, who would raise one finger, both eyebrows and emphatically mouth, "One." 

Auron scowled at the word disciplinarian when Raine used it. "Structured," he offered instead. One time, he asked, "You don't remember that night you and Tidus hid in the closet?" 

Of course she remembered. She had nearly pissed her underpants when Auron yelled and it was like a completely different man had opened the closet door that night. But Raine was in her seventh month of her first pregnancy when he brought it up and she wasn't about to throw Auron off his parenting game at this point. 

"No," Raine had said and relief poured out of Auron's eye. It was at that moment Raine realized why Auron used to wear those sunglasses all the time, with his naked eye always betraying him. She knew she had been right to lie. Was that all marriage was? Walking through a field of carefully placed lies that would blow up if stepped on? "Why? What happened?" 

He had cleared his throat and said, "You got me good." 

Realizing the girls were almost done eating, Raine wondered what was taking Auron so long. She should have insisted he skip his shower. How much time did they have left? Minutes? An hour? A couple days? And how would it happen when the Fayth stopped dreaming? When her dreams ended, they just winked out, and only the important ones were remembered. And what about Auron? He wasn't a dream at all. Would he wander around Spira forever as an unsent, or would he find a Summoner to send him? Raine never stopped having nightmares of coming home from work to a puddle of Pyreflies on the houseboat floor, the Farplane somehow taking back what belonged to it. After the girls were born, the nightmares ramped up again, only this time she would come home to her daughters bawling over the same puddle. 

"Daddy!" Willow cried when she saw Auron round the corner, his hair wet and combed back. 

Auron slowed to a stroll and stopped by Basil, who smiled coyly under her father's scrutiny as he lifted her chin with a finger to examine her in his sunglasses. 

"Hmph," he said around a smirk. 

It meant: You are so adorable. 

Raine had taken the liberty of buying her husband a few changes of pants (although she never could change his mind about underwear) and today he was wearing a light brown pair of carpenter trousers. But Auron wouldn't be Auron without his leather cuirass, so he was always battle-ready, in case of surprise Sinspawn. The sleeve of his cloak was also now functional with the cuffs clasped together, and Raine suspected that was so he was always hug-ready, in case of surprise Raine-spawn. 

Auron had been very honest with the girls when they asked questions about his armor and sword. If he couldn't be himself around his own children, when could he? He told them stories about being a warrior monk, but Auron was rather selective when talking about his pilgrimages, as they had both agreed they wouldn't ever talk about Sin. They refused to let their daughters live with that kind of fear. More lies for the sake of happiness. But Auron would still tell them stories about their uncle and their grandfather, including one about Jecht and something called a shoopuff, which her father had mistaken for a fiend. The shoopuff ended up the star of the story because of the hilarity of its name. 

The girls regarded their father's missing eye with healthy curiosity. Basil had gone through a phase of taping her eye down, adding another piece every time the previous one lost its adhesive, until her preschool teacher began to ask questions, at which time the entire contraption had to come off, but not without a couple eyelashes attached to it. Either the girls never seemed to remember how Auron lost his eye or they didn't quite think he was being truthful, because they asked about it several times. The first couple times, Auron looked at them very soberly and said, "Your mother got angry with me and stabbed me with a fork." Both girls would gasp in horror and treat Raine with fearful reverence for the rest of the day. The third time Auron told them that story, Raine waited until they were in private before slapping the chest of his armor. 

"Don't tell them that," she had said. 

Auron darkened and said, "Would you rather I told them the truth?" 

"Of course not," Raine said, genuinely surprised. "I only meant you make me sound like the bad guy." 

The very next time the girls asked, Auron sat down and placed one on each knee and said, "The first time I saw your mother, I thought she was so beautiful, I had to remove my own eye so I could function." Then he smirked at Raine and Raine rolled her eyes, knowing one day the girls would put two and two together and realize the first time their father met their mother, their mother had only been 5. Both girls had similar reactions; they were less horrified, but more repulsed as Willow had screamed, "Ew!" and Basil had scrunched her nose like someone had left out a dirty diaper. 

"Daddy, there's no school today!" Willow announced. 

To Raine, Auron affected surprised with a slight lift of his brows. "There isn't?" 

"We're going swimming!" 

Auron's eyebrows escalated higher. "We are?" 

"I thought it would be nice," Raine said. 

"What about work?" Auron asked, lowering his voice as he approached her at the counter. He reached over her head to the cupboard behind her for two glasses. "Big game today." 

"They'll manage without me." 

He glanced down at her without expression and carried the glasses to the peninsula where the juice was. Raine knew she was a bad liar and Auron know it too. She had to tell him. Whatever was going to happen, where ever they would end up, she couldn't have her bad lying be his last impression of her. 

Bringing over two glasses of juice, Auron handed her one and placed the back of his fingers on her cheek. "Feeling okay?" 

"I'm fine," she said, keeping the squeak out of her tone. "Listen—" 

But Auron had his glass raised to her and Raine had to oblige. 

Clink...toast... 

* 

...sip. 

Auron touched the glass to his lips, but when he looked down at his hand, the glass was gone. Raine was gone, the girls were gone. In front of him a thundercloud was marbled grey and black and somewhere in his peripheral, a flicker of lightning. Suspended momentarily, Auron's belly made an awful dive, his arms and legs flailing to find footing. 

He was falling. 

Like a red bullet in a dismal landscape, Auron dropped out of the sky and into the sea with a grand splash of steely water. Experiencing a different kind of flail, Auron thrashed underwater, struggling to surface, greedily gulping oxygen when the air kissed his face. He bobbed around the stagnant water like an abandoned red fishing lure and with an ungainly twist, managed to rotate around to the dilapidated stone building, veiled in mist, half submerged in the sea, the different wings of the structure like small island ruins. 

Baaj Temple. 

So the rumors were true. The dream had been here all along, where no self-respecting Yevonite would dare use machina propelled transportation to get there. 

Plotting a course to the nearest land mass, Auron slanted back into the water and kicked, swimming the only way Raine could teach him; ironically, the dead man's float. Auron climbed up the wreckage, dragging himself sideways on his elbow, scaling up the incline of a stone roof towards the crumbling remains of a round turret. He flopped on his back, breathing hard. What now? He certainly couldn't float his way out of here who and knew when the next Al Behd ship would come through. He mentally ticked off his options, struggling to ignore the oncoming hollow ache where his heart usually was, the void sapping him from the inside, telling him the dream was over. 

Fathering children had never been Auron's objective, not when he was alive, not even when he had been promised to the high priest's daughter. When Raine announced her pregnancy, her initial dissonance had been aimed at him, not his developing progeny, and she had been shocked he would even question her keeping it. For some reason, she regarded his unborn child as a rare treasure. He had started out merely compliant with the pregnancy, but as her belly swelled, so did his heart for whatever was growing inside. He had not been completely sure what they would get. After all, little was known about the breeding of dreams and unsents. 

In fatherhood, Auron discovered it was not that much different than being a Guardian, although Raine had much to teach him about letting go, especially when Willow started school. Good Guardians didn't let go. It was completely natural for him to want to follow her, watch her through the fence and walk her home when the day was over, but Raine explained that was unacceptable. 

"She needs to learn independence," his wife had said. 

"It's not enough." 

"It is. It's enough for her to know you'll be waiting at home." 

In time, Auron learned what an amazing mother she was, although he was not in favor of Raine's parenting style at first. He had been raised in a strict monastery, where his hands had been inspected for every meal and he couldn't leave his room in the morning until he had made his bed well enough to impress the high priest. But he held his tongue, even as he watched his daughters play in the dirt at the park, their clothes and faces filthy, while Raine would just laugh and point at a patch of clean skin and tell them they hadn't played hard enough yet. She tried to convince him good parenting often began with dirty children, but Auron had dreadful flashbacks of an unkempt Raine because her own mother was too miserable to properly parent. 

Auron's opinion of his wife had changed the night of Aunt Naya's funeral. The day had gone a little differently than Uncle Cetan's funeral, mostly because he had busied himself with minding the girls while Raine tended to family matters. It seemed a man trying to entertain two bored little girls was a little less unapproachable and he gained the sympathy of most of Raine's extended family. He couldn't count how many times he had said their names and ages, evincing polite surprise when they gushed how much like their mother they looked. 

At the end of the day, Auron carried the sleeping girls to their respective bedrooms and tucked them in, then joined Raine under the covers, spooning her close. He knew what Raine needed. He had done this before when her uncle died and it seemed to work. Stroking her hair and her back, he decided to confide in her what Aunt Naya had told him the day of her first wedding with Jory, discerning it would make a nice memory for Raine. She should know how her Aunt Naya thought she was strong like her father and loved like her mother. 

Raine rolled over in bed to face him. "Aunt Naya said that?" 

"Hmmm," he murmured. 

Raine scowled and turned back to her pillow. "That's not true." 

Auron was taken aback. "Why not?" He didn't understand her discord. Her mother loved Jecht utterly and not a day went by when Auron didn't feel loved by Raine. Even on days they fought she always welcomed him back with liberal apologies, a face full of kisses, and sometimes a new sex position. 

"My father was weak. He treated my mom like arm-candy and because of that I never felt any love from her." 

She was right, of course. Her mother loved Jecht in an obsessive, fanatical way that left no room for anyone else, but Raine's love had the ability to grow and evolve with the addition of each daughter. Her mother's incompetence was because she had spent the majority of the morning moping in bed. If Raine forgot the girls' baths, it was because she lost track of time playing games with them, and if she had them wear the same clothes two days in a row, it was because she planned on teaching the girls how to make sand castles in the park play-box. And Auron would sit nearby on a bench to watch, recalling how Raine once patted his knee, the quiet desperation of a little girl whose mother paid little attention and whose brother was too busy being guided by his new mentor, and asked if he had any children she could play with. Every time it struck him he finally did have children for her to play with, his throat would get scratchy and tight and he swore a piece of sand had gotten into his eye. 

Thinking of it now, Auron's face contorted with anguish and he could feel the dry sob rising. It came out as a miserable howl and the return echo was like the chilling, haunted cry of a far-off fiend. At first, it felt like his organs were tearing, but then something jarred inside him and released. Stunned, his breath snagged in his vocal cords and his mouth fell open, one bleary eye wandering its gaze to the stormy sky. 

It's finally happening, Auron thought, as the first of many Pyreflies drifted from his body. They wafted without direction into the fog, glints of color peeking through the gloom. Soon, more appeared, shooting an abortive leak, like bubbles blown forcibly from a wand. Through a murky layer of hot tears, he watched them go, a great eddy of pink and green orbs twisting into the flickering welkin. 

Auron found great relief in his self-sending. His unsent life had been longer than his living life, and in some ways, more rewarding, and while he didn't belong in the Zanarkand dream world, he didn't belong in Spira, either. 

Auron was ready to go. 

* 

Raine knew it. She knew it and she didn't tell me. 

He couldn't be angry at her. Regretting he didn't get one more chance to hold his daughters and kiss his wife, Auron knew Raine did it to avoid frightening the girls and so he could enjoy the last few moments he had with his family. This he could understand. How much had he hidden from Raine in order for her to enjoy life without burden? 

Reassembling in the Farplane, Auron was immersed in an endless cream haze, so thick he could barely see the tops of his boots. In his first few steps, the ground felt uneven, like a rocky plain, but still routable at least. There was nothing to do but walk, the thinning and thickening of the fog impulsive and arbitrary, and Auron marveled at the borealis of teals and turquoises streaking the sky, but the silence in the Farplane was deafening, without even the pulse of his circulation to keep him company. He tried to keep his mind busy, sensing the eternal peace would drive him mad before long. 




Everything Looks Better Ch. 12



It saddened him greatly to think of his erased family, but it was the only thing in his mind worth evoking. Even the difficult times, which would creep unbidden into his contemplations, like a back-attack he didn't see coming until he was already hurting from its strike. Rough patches in their shared life came and went like speed bumps, but it was their unplanned pregnancy that turned into a continuous rift between them, always looming and building, leading to that one night when Raine came home early. 

Auron had been feeding Basil smashed potatoes with a miniature spoon and Willow was in her booster chair, feeding herself the chicken he had already cut up for her. He heard Raine come in and she threw her overcoat over the banister, looking drained as she usually did. 

"Mommy!" Willow cried, sliding down from her chair to greet her mother. Raine managed to give Willow a weary smile and pick her up to kiss her face. 

"You're home early," Auron commented, expecting a drawn out story of how she got Colton to cover for her or how she hustled all day to get out on time. 

She was still caked in studio make-up, which she used to wash off before leaving work, but she skipped it now so she could rush home. "We'll talk about it later," she said, walking by to put Willow back in her seat and kiss the top of her head. "Eat your dinner." She went to the stove to make a plate for herself. 

With an arm like a gavel, Basil was impatiently slapping the surface of her high chair, her little mouth open in anticipation of her next bite. Auron was inadvertently holding the spoon just out of his daughter's reach, torturing her with it as he conversed with Raine. When he realized it, he lifted the spoon to her and she gummed it quickly, already eying the next bite from the bowl. 

"No vegetables?" Raine asked. 

"I made potatoes." 

"Potatoes are not vegetables," she said shortly. "They're a starch." 

Auron suppressed a sigh and said nothing, feeding his anxious daughter another spoonful. He was not a good enough cook to prepare vegetables in a way the girls appreciated and most of the time the greens ended up on the floor, in Basil's hair or in the garbage. 

Raine set her plate in the last available place setting and circled the peninsula to Auron. Her perfume had worn off and now she smelled starchy of the office. Auron raised his chin to kiss her hello, but she ignored him, detaching Basil from her chair. Basil gave a whimper of aggravation, reaching for the fresh spoon Auron had scooped for her. 

Raine kissed her rosy, potato-laden cheek. "I think there are some peas in the refrigerator," Raine said to her, emoting excitement in her face and trying to sound upbeat about it. Basil responded with another cry of distress, looking longingly at the potatoes, but Raine bounced her a couple times to draw her attention. "Should we have peas tonight? Should we?" 

Auron threw the spoon in the bowl and whipped the towel off his shoulder, irritated. "Do you want me to feed her the peas?" Somehow, he didn't think this was about the peas. 

"I've got it," she snapped, her tone much darker talking to Auron than when she spoke to Basil. Her high-heeled pumps sounded daunting on the wood floor and it put ice over his heart. 

"Fine." Auron jumped out of his chair and stomped out of the room. He busied himself with some laundry in the girls' rooms and left Raine to chat with Willow about their day at the beach while she fed Basil peas on her lap. He let Raine have this time with them. It had been at least a month since she'd been home in time for dinner. He was beginning to know a little what it was like to be Jory, getting only her remains, after her job and the girls had picked her over. 

Willow's birth coincided with the premiere of the sports show she was in line to host and the network hadn't been willing to push it back, so the job went to another sports anchor instead. It had been a year of hard work with nothing to show for it. When she couldn't have it, it somehow made her want it more and just after Basil's birth, another opportunity presented itself. Since then, Raine was working doubly hard to make this new show happen, staying late and going in on her days off. Before the children were born, Raine used to stay up late with him and all it took to put her in the mood was for him to rub her hip a little. But now, when she finally did come home, she had just enough energy to eat cold dinner, kiss the girls while they slept and crawl into bed. 

Laundry done, Auron headed back to the kitchen, but Raine and the girls had already finished. In their bedroom, the bathroom door was open an inch and he could hear the running water, drowning out their gossip as Raine prepared them a bath. Auron removed his robe, hung it on the hook behind the closet door and stepped out on the back deck to watch the moonlight from the patio chair. 

Raine was in her late-thirties now, looking better than he'd ever seen her, yet he still caught her at the bathroom mirror, examining imaginary imperfections in her face. After Basil, there was some mild pressure at the network for Raine to take off the baby weight, so they kept up their exercises in the morning. It helped Raine expel some of her work-related stress, but Auron found it only added to his, discovering the sweaty tension of their combat intensely sexual and she had less and less time to help him with his release. Sometimes, he wondered if she still wanted to. He was almost sixty. 

And now he was thinking of Colton, always the natural progression of his thoughts after remembering his age. Colton and Raine had been working together since they were both sports journalists, competing for interviews in Blitzball locker rooms. Auron sensed Colton was sniffing around his wife even before Raine began preparing him to take over as sports anchor, when she was up for another promotion. Spouses were encouraged to attend office picnics and holiday parties, where Auron sat impassively listening as Raine and Colton chatted about work and Blitzball and season starters and anything else Auron knew little about. This year, they brought the girls to the annual picnic. Auron was convinced Colton was trying to impress Raine by spending the whole time showing the girls slight-of-hand tricks and teaching them knock-knock jokes, which Auron heard about a dozen more times on the train ride home. Auron trusted Raine, but not Colton. 

But there were times Auron thought he should step aside. Maybe Raine should be with someone closer to her age, to face the challenges of growing older gradually as her age allowed. Already, Auron could feel himself slowing down and the girls were only going to get more active, how was he going to keep up with them? If Colton was their father, he would share Raine's sense of playfulness and have the patience to teach his daughters riddles and games. 

Carrying a beer, Raine joined him on the deck, kicking off her heels before approaching him. Her blouse was untucked, the silky sleeves rolled up, and it was splotched dark with bath water. She had washed the makeup from her face, leaving her skin red and raw from the scrubbing. A gob of green peas was mashed into her collar. She nudged his knee with hers and he straightened to allow her on his lap. 

She rested her head on his shoulder and toyed with the buckles on his collar for what seemed like an eternity, cradling the beer against her breast, pulling from it occasionally. He thought she might hand it over to him at some point, but whatever she had to say must have required the whole bottle. 

"Did you watch the game today?" she asked. 

"I'm sorry. We got back from the beach late and they were hungry." 

"It's okay." She sighed. "I realized something today." 

"What's that?" 

"I figured out what my pull is." 

Auron only frowned at the ocean, uncertain where this was leading. 

Her head came off his shoulder. "Did you forget already?" 

"Refresh me." 

"That night at Rin's. I said Blitzball is Tidus' pull, guarding is your pull. You asked me what my pull was." 

"I remember now. Do you still think it's Summoning?" 

She snorted. "I think we both know it's not." 

"So what is your pull?" Don't say Colton, don't say Colton, don't say Colton. 

"Being a mother." 

He kissed her hair in relief, detecting a little perfume on her still. "Of course it is." 

"I quit my job today," she whispered. 

Auron's heart stopped. "You what?" 

"I...didn't get the show." 

Auron internally sighed and his arms tightened around her. "I'm sorry. I know how hard you worked." 

"I hardly ever see the girls anymore." 

"I thought you loved being a Blitzball anchor." 

"It was fine, but it's not who I am." She snagged his gaze. "Are you angry? You look angry." 

He relaxed his face. "I'm...surprised." 

She groaned. "I know the timing isn't good. The plumbing needs replacing and the air is doing that clicking thing again and we have those plans for a second bathroom—" 

"We'll be fine. I'll swing by the docks tomorrow and see if there's any work." 

"Oh," she said and her eyebrows knit together as she shook her head. "No, I have a meeting tomorrow with the manager of the Abes. She may have a job for me." 

"Not playing Blitzball, I hope." 

"No," she giggled. "I'm thinking about being a scout." 

"A scout?" 

"It's less money, but at least I can make my own hours. I mean, tournaments will get kind of crazy—" 

"A scout..." Auron said again with a half-smile, getting used to the idea. She'd make a great scout. 

"I know it's not as exciting as being a Guardian, but I appreciate you doing the stay at home dad thing." 

"I like doing it, but they miss their mother. Will you be home by dinner?" 

"By dinner? Baby, some days I'll be home in time to make dinner." 

"That's a relief. Willow's looking a little deficient nutritionally." 

"That will happen if you only know how to grill meat. I'll be home in time for other things, too." Her eyes softened on him. "You're looking a little hungry yourself." 

"I've been keeping busy." 

"Grilling all that meat?" 

Auron tipped his head. "Mostly cold showers." 

Her lips found his blind spot and his hand vanished up the front of her skirt, but when she started doing that swirling thing on his eye with her tongue, he knew they weren't going to make it to the bed. 

Later, slipping naked and flushed under their covers, Raine stayed up late with him, chatting with him the details of the day: the snarky things she told her boss, the conversation she had with the Abes manager and how all the make-up artists told her she should have been the one to get the show. 

"Who got it?" Auron asked. 

"Oh," Raine said, shifting uncomfortably against him. "Colton." 

The silence seemed very long in the darkness. Auron said, "I thought you were friends with Colton." 

He felt her nod on his arm and a moment later, he felt her tracing the hair on his belly, stirring him. "I thought so too, but I think he just wanted the promotion. It is okay if we don't talk about that right now?" 

"What would you like to talk about?" 

"Nothing." She patted his chest. "Now lie back. Let me do the work this time." 

In the morning, Raine had left early for her meeting with the Abes manager. Auron got the girls ready to leave the house and dropped them off at Aunt Naya's with a bag of extra diapers and snacks. "I won't be gone long," he told the older woman. "I just need to run some errands." He took the train to Raine's network station and when he left, he was escorted out by security. Colton's nose had been reset before the show's premiere, but the warning Auron had given would last him forever: "Stay away from my family." 

Never again would Auron think he wasn't enough for Raine and the girls. 

Already Auron could feel Raine and the girls fading from his mind, as though he had dreamed them up, their faces clouding over from holes in his memory. Wandering the Farplane, Auron never tired and never needed a break unless it was to disrupt the monotony of travel, but he was suddenly aware of the difference in scenery. Instead of the crunch of gravel, he heard the grassy whisper on each foot fall. Peering down at his boots, Auron found they were crushing several delicate flowers. The fog bowled around him like steam, ribbons of Pyreflies everywhere, but he had roamed into a meadow of lavender, red tulips and buttercups. At least he felt like he was getting somewhere; the landscape hadn't changed in several thousand foot-treads, but now the first signs of insanity were beginning to settle, starting with the laughter he heard in his head. 

He ignored it at first, avoiding the downward spiral he was apparently heading to, but when he heard it again, it sounded nearer. Wading through the colorful blossoms, he forked off in another direction in attempt to follow it. A shadow appeared in the mist, small and dancing, and when Auron went closer, saw tiny fingers reaching for the playful Pyreflies as they jostled around, just out of her grasp. Messy blond hair swayed at the child's back as she jumped, disturbing the vapor around her. 

"Raine?" Auron said. The horrible sink of his heart was unbearable as he realized this place was not the Farplane, but his own private hell. What kind of place would make him spend eternity with the love of his life...as a child? 

The little girl turned around, the dark mirrors of his own sunglasses finding him, and her face lit up like a spark. Dropping to his knee, Auron's arms extended to her as Basil charged into him, crushing his collar, a mighty squeeze for such small arms, and stamping her feet in excitement. His hug was brief before he drew her back by the shoulders for a confirmatory inspection and then collected her again to resume the reunion. 

"Have you seen Mom? Or Willow?" Auron asked. 

Stepping back, his little girl nodded emphatically. At least she had enough of her mother in her to convey dialogue in her gestures, even through the added buffer of his sunglasses, which had always made Auron impervious to interpretation. That wasn't the only reason he had handed them down to his daughter; the truth was he just couldn't stand looking through them anymore. 

"Where are they?" 

Something in her expression bordered desolate. 

"You were separated?" Auron guessed. 

Sadly, she nodded. 

"We'll find them," Auron said and before she waned too far into grief, he wrapped his arms around her and planted noisy kisses on the side of her face until her legs buckled and she giggled. "Besides, I have a bet to settle with your mother." 

She squinted at him, slanting her head in question, and Auron chuckled. 

"Your mom doesn't believe in the Farplane," he said. Although Auron suspected when Raine saw his own Pyreflies departing his body after almost sending him, it was enough evidence to tip her over to the agnostic side. 

With a keen nod of understanding, Basil smiled, furtive, as if to say: we'll show her. 

Auron had never been overly happy about Basil's vow of silence, but Raine convinced him it was another phase, like taping down her eye and wearing her mother's turtle-necks with the collar fully drawn-out to hide the lower half of her face. Internally sighing, Auron pinched the eyewear she was wearing by the nose clamps and carefully slid them off her face. Basil could have been Raine's twin, except for Auron's amber eyes, which were now looking at him quizzically. 

He folded them, tucked them away in an inside pocket of his cloak and said, "Trust me, everything looks better without these." 

End 

**** 

Thank you for sticking with this story until the end. Somebody once told me writing a male's point of view was not my strong suit. I would like to hear someone else's opinion on that matter, or any other matter that fancies you. 

Clunk