1 comments/ 8161 views/ 1 favorites Cyar'ika Ch. 01 By: shereshoy Chapter One: Etain "My beloved, do you know / How many times I stared at clouds, / Thinking that I saw you there? / These are feelings that do not pass so easily; / I can't forget what we claimed as ours." VNV Nation "Beloved" + + + + + This was breaking all the rules. But the war had broken all the rules of peacekeeping Jedi and a civilized Republic anyway. The Force wouldn't be thrown into turmoil if a mediocre Jedi and a cloned soldier who had no rights broke just one more. "I never stopped thinking about you, either," said Darman. "Not for a moment." "So...how long does it take two squads to finish their meals in the bar?" "Long enough, I think," said Darman. Karen Traviss Star Wars Republic Commando: Triple Zero + + + + + It was a delicate moment, as easily broken as fine Corellian crystal glass. Etain broke eye contact with Darman, suddenly shy. She gazed at their hands, joined across the table; her small hand seemed dwarfed between his rougher fingers. It was a turning point. They both knew what lines they'd crossed. They both knew what further lines were left to cross. Or, at least, Etain thought they both knew. Sometimes, it was hard to tell with Dar. She glanced up at him through her eyelashes, almost too shy to look him straight in the face. He had a look of concentration on his face - a sort of unfocused look that she'd seen on him only on those rare occasions when he was considering a situation that couldn't be instinctively addressed by his years of training. Etain became suddenly aware of her erratic pulse and rising body temperature; at that moment, she was finally willing to admit that she wanted him. *Of course, who am I fooling? I've always wanted Dar...* She had never let herself think it until now, until this very moment. But, she was finally gripped with the overwhelming desire to throw all of "the rules" to the wind. Suddenly, simple contact through intertwined fingers wasn't enough. She wanted more. But, Dar still looked like he was deliberating and Etain felt agonizingly awkward. She wanted Dar to make the first moves, to show her what to do. *Of course, he's never even thought of doing this, either...* Etain wanted him to let go of her hand, to stand up, to pick her up, to sweep her off her feet. It was a hopelessly and completely unrealistic romantic fantasy and, she knew it. But, a girl could dream. So, she dreamed. For about two seconds. She stared thoughtfully at their hands, unable to keep looking up at him, for the moment. She shifted a bit in her seat, uncertain of what to do. She wanted Darman the man to make his moves...but usually in such tenuous situations, she got the Darman that still felt like a young boy. It wasn't his fault, of course; he'd been trained for the pathology of war, not for the psychology of human relationships. He didn't know what to do now, any more than she did. And, unfortunately, in many ways, Etain knew that she probably had the clearer idea, of the two. After a few floundering moments, she finally found some small amount of daring - fueled by the fluttering flashes that twisted through her heart - and started to lift his hand up in hers. "Dar," Etain whispered softly, before kissing his fingers gently. Darman's eyes focused instantly and Etain's lips froze against his skin. Their eyes locked and she was shocked by the look that crossed his face. She'd seen this look plenty of times, right before Dar would put on his helmet and pick up his DC-17. It was the look that warned that "down time" was over and that it was now time to start the real work. Etain lifted her head from over their hands and started to lean back in her chair. A slow, darkly sexy smile curled the corners of Darman's lips for a moment, before he let go of her hand, pushed back the cooling remnants of their barely-eaten dinner, and stood up. His smile faded, replaced by that intense look of almost feral concentration. "Sergeant Skirata told us all something once, about Mandalorian men and their women," his voice had deepened into a lower octave that Etain had never heard before. This "new" voice did funny things to her stomach. "He told us that Mandalorian men should always respect strong women and strive to always be with strong women." Etain watched with widening eyes as Darman began to round the corner of the table; his fingers ghosted along the top of the table as he practically prowled toward her. His eyes never left hers. A strange heat flushed warm just under her skin, as she watched him, fascinated. This was Darman the man as she'd never quite seen him before. Even if she had wanted to talk, she couldn't have. Her tongue was firmly locked into place on the roof of her very dry mouth. "But, Kal also told us that behind closed doors," Dar stopped beside her and reached out a suddenly confident hand to stroke his fingers across the curve of her jaw. "It's the Mandalorian man who should take the lead in private quarters." His fingers curled gently around her chin, as he lifted her face up to look at him. "I don't really know what I'm doing," he admitted, vulnerable again. "But, I'll take the lead, Et'ika, if you're unsure." Etain hesitated for one minute more. And then, she abruptly pushed herself to her feet and threw her arms around Darman's neck. She wasn't quite bold enough to kiss him, but she nuzzled her face between his neck and his shoulder. Her lips brushed against the rough fabric of his GAR fatigues and she was gripped by the overwhelming desire to taste his skin. One of Dar's hands settled almost instinctively against her lower back and she shivered against the feel of his body, solid and warm underneath the seperation of their clothes. They stood like that, for a long moment, until Etain finally lifted her head to look at Dar's face. Something unspoken whispered between them and Dar gently wrapped her loosely bound braid around his wrist, pulling her neck back so that she couldn't hide her face from him again. He leaned down toward her and for a second, they hovered. Breathing. Lips almost-touching. And then, he kissed her. It was shy and awkward, at first. Just a questioning press of lips against lips. Etain was just beginning to wonder if she'd have to take the lead, after all, when Dar surprised her yet again. He tilted his head to the side and opened his mouth just enough to touch her lips with the tip of his tongue. Startled, Etain opened her lips in instinctual response and their kiss deepened as he slipped his tongue between her teeth. They were both still shy, still uncertain. But, the tangling of his tongue against hers made Etain stand up on the tips of her toes, wrap her arms more tightly around his neck and press more of her body more firmly against his. She could feel his heart beating rapidly against her breast and the young Jedi Knight wondered absently if she'd hyperventilate herself. Her breath was getting lost somewhere in Darman's mouth and Etain wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to hold out. before she started insisting the clothes came off. "Dar..." she managed to whisper between one kiss and the next. "Hmmm?" Darman seemed more interested in nibbling her bottom lip, than in letting her talk, but Etain suddenly didn't mind. His right hand had found the bottom of her tunic and had pushed it up over over the hem of her pants. His large hand was slowly slipping across her skin, leaving a trail of goosepimples in its wake. His fingers brushed the swell of her breast and Dar hesitated - but just for a moment. As his kiss turned a bit more dominant, a bit more insisting, so did his hand. He worked his hand between them and ran his fingers across her breast; the motion elicited a low moan from Etain, that was lost inside Dar's mouth. Her breasts were small - so small, in fact, that she rarely had to wear the restraining cloths required by many other female Jedis. Etain had often been self-conscious about the slightness of her frame, but - as with most other things about her - Dar didn't seem to care. Her entire breast fit easily into the hollow of his palm and he ground the heel of his hand into her, roughly fondling her under unskilled fingers. Etain didn't care at that moment how unskilled Dar's touch was - it only mattered to her that he was, in fact, touching her. She arched her back, pushing her chest further into his hand and moaned again, this time, louder. The sound seemed to embolden him and before Etain quite knew what was happening, Dar had broken away from their kiss and was busy pulling the hem of her tunic up over her head. "Oh....!" Etain's flustered exclamation was lost in the fabric that muffled her face. For a second, Etain entertained the thought of stopping Dar. She was still dreadfully body-conscious. Sure, he'd seen her at her absolute worst as a Jedi - but he'd never seen her like this before. He'd never seen her body; true, her general appearance probably left very little to the imagination, with the way clothes usually hung off of her as if she was some sort of underfed street urchin. But, even a mediocre Jedi had a little bit of personal vanity...and a voluptuous Twi'lek or curvaceous Zeltron Etain was not. She blushed, her cheeks flaring bright red, as Dar tossed her tunic to the floor. She started to instinctively fold her arms across her chest, but Dar reached out his hand again and intercepted her movement. "You're beautiful, Etain," he said in a firm sort of voice that left very little room for questioning. Her cheeks just flared brighter as his eyes took in the sight of her topless body. "You're beautiful," he repeated, softly this time. He moved in toward her and scooped her easily into his arms. Darman paused just long enough to still another, quick kiss, and then sat her down on the table where they had been eating just moments before. Carefully, as if not to scare her, he grabbed her knees and spread her legs open, so that he could slide his body between them. Etain stared up at him, wide-eyed and nervous; her legs settled easily around his hips and he seemed to fit, just standing, between her knees. His hands brushed along her lower back and sides in gentle, soothing motions. And he nuzzled her ear, whispering softly. "I've always wondered what was under those baggy tops you wear." "Oh," was all Etain could think to say to such a startling revelation. He nuzzled her ear and the curve of her jaw for a moment, before she added hesitantly - "It's nothing special." "Shhh," Dar leaned back just enough to shake his head and lay a finger across her lips. His brown eyes were dark, and deep with an expression Etain had never seen before. Dare she hope...desire? "Let me be the judge of that," his finger drifted down across her lips and then his hand settled against her breast. His other hand moved from her hip and joined the other; within seconds, Etain was reduced to inarticulate whimpers, as Darman gave her chest his full attention. He seemed absolutely fascinated by her breasts. He alternated between rough and awkward, and smooth and gentle, as he tried to learn the shifts and preferences of her body. Etain felt herself leaning backward underneath his assault and her hands moved to grip Darman's arms. She closed her hands over his biceps in an attempt to steady herself, but it didn't help her backward momentum. Dar just let her lean back, pausing only long enough to push the remains of their dinner to a safer portion of the decently-sized table. By the end of it all, she was lying flat on the table, one leg starting to wrap around Darman's thigh. He had followed her down and was bent over her, one arm bracing him up against the table, the other discovering all the many ways to play with her nipples and make her groan. "Fierfek," he swore, lowering himself down to give her another kiss. His words breathed across her lips. "What took us so long to get to this?" She answered his smile with one of her own. Etain even managed a small laugh, as she let one of her hands slide up his neck and into his thick hair. "Seven months apart, remember?" "Right," Dar seemed to nod a bit to himself, as if making a mental note not to waste precious time ever again. They kissed again, their movements become more bold, more passionate. Etain rather thought she was getting the hang of this tongue-and-lips business and wrapped her arms around Dar's neck to bring him closer to her. Somewhere in the middle of their heated kiss, she became aware of something else. Dar had cupped one of his hands underneath the curve of her ass and had lifted her leg up over his hip. Their bodies were flush and she suddenly became acutely aware of Darman's own arousal. "Mmmm," she mumbled against his lips and tried to wiggle her hips. That didn't provoke quite the response she was looking for, though Dar did break away from their kiss. He suddenly buried his face in her neck and moaned; the sound of his lust did rather funny things to Etain's stomach. "Etain," her name was something of a curse mixed with a plea. She stilled underneath his voice, but then a perverse curiosity gripped her. She could feel him - hard, hot, ready - pressed against her pelvis. And this time, she squirmed just to see what would happen. "Etain," this time, her name was a low growl; a warning. "What?" she tried to play the innocent and wiggled again. Dar just growled and suddenly stood up. The sudden loss of contact with his body left Etain a bit confused and no small amount of breathless. And then, for the second time that night, Darman started pulling off pieces of her clothing before she could quite register what he was doing. In seconds, she was stripped bare. Now, her blush extended from head to toe and she didn't dare look Dar in the face. Truly embarassed now, Etain just kept her head against the table and stared ruefully at the whitewashed ceiling above them. Cool air tried to combat her heated flush, but she was simply too shocked to shiver. Cyar'ika Ch. 02 Chapter Two: Darman "It's so quiet I can hear / My thoughts touching every second / That I spent waiting for you." VNV Nation "Beloved" + + + + + Darman had lived his entire life reading the smallest shift in body language - it was often the only way to tell apart men who shared the same faces, the same bodies, and quite frequently, the same armor. So, Etain's sudden stillness underneath his hands drew him up short. "Did I do something wrong?" Dar reached out, suddenly tentative. He smoothed his hand down her torso, in the space between her breasts. The feel of his skin on hers seemed to shake Etain out of her sudden paralysis and she reluctantly lowered her eyes from the ceiling to his face. "That was just...very sudden," something crossed her face and Dar tried to place the expression. Baffled, he rested his hand on her belly, just above her navel, and glanced down at the floor. Her pants and undergarments puddled at his feet and it slowly dawned on him that maybe he had moved a bit too fast. "Oh," he looked back up at her and couldn't help but enjoy the sight of the blush that flushed her skin from head to toe. His eyes lingered longingly on her breasts and then on the neatly-trimmed patch of curls that nestled in between her thighs. He tried to sound contrite, but when he glanced up at her face, the expression he saw shifting across her face told him that he'd failed. He didn't need to know women, to recognize the look of annoyance. "You could be a little more subtle, Dar," Etain's light-green eyes seemed to flash at him. But, instead of being put in his place, Darman just grinned and slowly bent over her again. He pressed his hands flat against the table, on each side of her head, and lowered his elbows just enough so that he was practically hovering over her, their torsos just-touching-but-not-quite. "I'm a demolitions expert. Subtle's not exactly my style, cyar'ika. If you wanted subtle, you should have gone for Fi," he kissed her lightly on the forehead and heard her huff indignantly against the underside of his chin. "And don't forget," he moved his mouth down toward her ear and nuzzled a gentle warning against her warm skin. "We don't exactly have much time for 'subtle'." This seemed to change her sudden hesitancy and Etain reached up, wrapped her arms around Darman's neck, and pulled him down for an agonizingly thorough kiss. Dar lowered himself down on top of her again and tangled his fingers into her red-and-blond-streaked brunette hair. This time, though, he rocked his hips gently against her and was rewarded by a soft gasp as she tightened her grip around his neck. "Dar," Etain practically panted, as they broke their kiss. The virile young clone immediately missed the taste of mouth and the feel of her tongue against his. He moved in to steal another kiss, when she arched her back underneath him, took an urgent fistful of the back of his tunic, and tugged. "Dar," she hissed, her eyes narrowing slightly. "You're wearing far too many clothes." This stopped him short in mild surprise. He'd been so intent on tasting her, and touching her, and baring her to his gaze, that he hadn't spared a thought for his own state of dress. Darman pushed himself off of Etain for a second time and it was his turn to feel a little awkward, as he glanced down at his red fatigues. Etain pushed herself up off of the table as well and Dar frowned a bit as she crossed her arms almost unconsciously over her naked breasts. She crossed her legs tightly at the ankle, too, and he suddenly realized that whatever embarrassment he was feeling, was practically doubled for her. He searched desperately for a way to make her more at ease, to make her less self-conscious, but the only thing he could offer was his own body. "Here," he reached out impulsively and grasped her hand. He gently pulled her arms apart, freeing her breasts to his gaze and the cool air. The sight of her suddenly pert nipples was almost enough to derail his intentions, but Darman tore his eyes away and met hers as he placed her hand flat against the buttoned collar of his fatigues. "Your turn," he held her hand against him for a minute, as if to encourage her, and then let his hands fall to his side. If he'd stripped her bare in seconds without a thought, then it was only fair that she got the chance to return the favor. Darman didn't know much about women and "Papa Kal" hadn't shared much wisdom much when it came to sexual intimacy, but Darman had certainly been instructed in the principles of fair play. One didn't get to employ such principles in war, but he figured it was only right to offer a chance to the woman he wanted to take as his lover. Etain fingered the small buttons for half a second, as she searched his face. Her body language was hesitant, but the amber flecks in her eyes deepened slowly as her eyelashes lowered in coy response to his suggestion. "No time for subtle?" her voice was suddenly low and husky; Dar felt himself ache in response to the sound and he clenched his jaw against the sudden urge to push her back, open up his pants, and take her right then and there. It was absolutely amazing how quickly lust could overcome inexperience. He had no earthly clue what he was doing, but when he stepped back and let his urges rise to the occasion, the potential escalation of their situation was...encouraging. "No time for subtle," he shook his head slowly and was amazed at how quickly her fingers could move. She wasn't quite as quick as he was - then again, her clothing hadn't required much more than a confident pull up and a determined pull down. But, she worried the buttons at his neck out of their holes in the space of a breadth and her hands pushed the front of his tunic-like fatigues open. Two quick tugs pulled the bottom of his tunic up and over his belt and she grabbed the red fabric at his shoulders and pushed it quickly down his arms. His fatigue tunic fell the floor with a quick shake of his wrists and Etain made surprisingly short work of his utility belt, and the light armor he'd worn as a precaution underneath the fatigues. That still left the black expanse of his skin-tight bodysuit and Etain made a very non-Jedi sound of disapproval. "You wear more layers than a woman!" Her impatience made him laugh. "Would you like some help?" he lifted a hand casually, but she batted it away with another impatient huff. "No." The look in her eyes was...inspiring. She had transformed from hesitant and meek, to sharply focused, in just a matter of moments. It wasn't the first time Darman had seen that transformation take place in her - he wondered absently if she realized just how often it happened. But, this was certainly the first time that he'd been the focal point of her attention and this was certainly the first time her focus had ever been expressed in sheer sexual need. It took her a moment or two, but she figured out how to pull the gription seams in his bodysuit apart. Etain pulled it open neatly in the front, from the top of his collar to the top of his pants. Her soft, strong hands shimmied the tight fabric off of his shoulders and down his arms, until he stood with his upper torso completely naked to her gaze and touch. She trailed her fingers slowly down the length of his chest and stomach; Darman shivered slightly underneath her touch. It was the first time in his life that he had ever been touched so intimately - her fingers found a thin scar along the side of his abs and he sucked in a breath as she followed it down to waist of his pants. Etain lingered there, for just a moment, her fingers brushing lightly against sharp angle of his hip. The next half of his disrobing was a much slower process than hers had been, or his so far. She bent gracefully to her knees and Dar had to close his eyes for a moment. The sight of her kneeling at his feet triggered another primal response, and he fought the urge to grab her by the back of her head and guide her face toward the painful bulge that pressed against the armor between his legs. A memory flickered across the back of his eyelids. Just shortly after Quiilura, Darman had stumbled across a rather...educational...holovid, which he'd uploaded into the privacy of his HUD. He'd quickly discovered just how restricting full armor could actually be, especially when surrounded by his fellow squad members in the back of a troop transport, during a several-hour flight, without a 'fresher in sight. He'd turned the 'vid off almost immediately, flustered in a way he'd never experienced before in his short life. But, the image from those few minutes had replayed in his mind at night, ever since. And, without even really meaning to, he'd quickly replaced the anonymous actors with more familiar faces and bodies. He thought of that image, now - of Etain on her knees in front of him. Of her hand, her mouth, wrapped around him. Of his hand tangled in her hair. Of him roughly encouraging the rapidly quickening pace toward his release. He felt his boots come undone and Darman snapped back to the present - which wasn't all that far-off from his private fantasy. He bit back a groan and fought the urge to take matters into his own hand. Things would certainly progress quicker if he helped her undress him, but the still rationally functioning part of him knew that this small intimacy was important for her. For both of them. He helped her kick off his boots, though. Next went his socks and then she was back at the top of his waistband. Etain hesitated, again, and she lifted shy eyes up at him. This time, Dar groaned and tangled his hand in hair at the back of her head. "You've got to get me out of this armor," he gritted his teeth and swore mentally at the di'kut circumstances that forced him to wear groin protection underneath his fatigues. The implication of his words brought another fresh blush to Etain's cheeks and Darman decided it was best for the situation if he looked somewhere other than her for the next few minutes. He groaned and lifted his head - it was his turn to stare at the ceiling and he gritted his teeth as his pants fell down around his ankles. He didn't dare look down at her, as her fingers moved across his legs and his pelvis, catching at all the hooks and puling the armor free. Dar's resolve to keep looking up, dissolved, when he heard her breath catch. He knew immediately what had caught her surprise, as his groin armor clattered to the floor. The bodysuit didn't leave much to the imagination. He was hard - achingly so - and he strained painfully against the restricting fabric of the 'suit. It didn't take much for her to figure out that he was...well-endowed...and the look on her face look suddenly apprehensive. "Et'ika," he managed a rough whisper and moved strangely shaking fingers across her cheek. Odd. He could handle high explosives without a single qualm, but the sight of a beautiful woman kneeling at his feet was enough to jangle his every last resolve. She just shook her head and that steely determination he admired in her flashed back across her face. As his fingers touched her cheek, she glanced up at him and her eyes were fierce underneath coyly lowered lashes. He watched, as she bit her lip, and then pulled apart the seams along the length of his left leg and then along his right leg. His bodysuit fell to the floor and Darman stood over her, completely naked. And, he felt the heat rising underneath his skin, as she lifted her eyes and took in the sight of him, from toe to ear. Cyar'ika Ch. 03 Chapter Three: Etain "Circumstances afford me / No second chance to tell you / How much I've missed you." VNV Nation "Beloved" + + + + + Darman was the epitome of male perfection. Etain's eyes lingered slowly over every inch of him, as she continued to kneel at his feet. She found the upward perspective oddly erotic; he towered over her, all hard-sculpted strength and sharply defined muscle. In many ways, he was just as imposing naked, as he was covered head to toe in his black matte armor. She felt small and delicate next to him - but then, she always had. Etain reached out and gently traced the smooth curve of his calf with the tips of her fingers. Darman shuddered slightly underneath her touch and the young Jedi Knight suddenly started to realize the very unique power she had over him. Darman was a warrior, engineered physically, psychologically, and mentally, for every horror of war. He didn't tremble when he held explosives in his hands. He didn't tremble when faced with droids. He didn't tremble in the face of death. But the lightest touch of her hand could make him drop every programmed pretense. Her fingers grew more bold, as she flattened her hand against his thigh and traced the outline of his quadriceps. Darman hissed softly, as Etain began to explore the softer skin along the inside of his thigh. Once again, she felt a rush of feminine power and in the heat of the moment, she decided to be bold. A low, guttural groan echoed across the hard, duraplast surfaces of the room, as Etain experimentally brushed the length of Darman's arousal. This was perhaps the one part of his body that wasn't covered in scars and Etain was secretly fascinated by the velvety smoothness of his skin. The feel of him grew even more firm and heavy in her hand, and her own breath caught in her throat as she smoothed her thumb along the tip of him. The particulars of male anatomy weren't new to her, nor, even, the details of intercourse. Physiology was a basic knowledge for any Jedi youngling's core curriculum and Etain still remembered the conversation she had once had with her own Master, on human sexuality. That particular event had been painfully awkward at the time, but it had left her rather enlightened. And, curious. Over time, she'd heard things, had dared to have a few conversations of her own with peers, and had discovered the rather explicit delights of Zeltron erotica. She'd learned to imagine things, had learned to pleasure herself; though, recently her private fantasies had all started to feature the powerfully-built clone in front of her. This wasn't the first time she'd touched him like this - not in the secret places of her mind, anyway. Though, Etain had to admit - the reality in front of her was far more pleasant, and more intensely awkward, than anything she'd ever imagined. She leaned slightly forward on her knees and curled her whole hand around him. He jerked against her fingers and Etain glanced up at Darman's face, as she felt him tremble again. For a moment, she thought he'd closed his eyes, but then his lashes fluttered and she realized that he was still watching her. His chest rose and fell in a strangely erratic rhythm and his hands clenched tightly against his thighs. He didn't move, though, except to shiver exquisitely beneath her gentle touch. Etain began to slowly stroke him, her movements caught somewhere between shy and daring. The way the muscles in his face slackened at her touch, made her daring. But, the reality of what she was doing, made her shy. It was one thing to imagine something so bold - it was another thing entirely to actually do it. But, if there was one thing Darman could do to her, it was make her bold. She lifted her other hand and rested it against the curve of his hip, to steady herself as she cautiously familiarized herself with such awkward intimacy. He was fully aroused now and she could feel the blood throbbing hot underneath her hand. For a moment, she thought about reaching out to him through the Force, but she held herself back. Something quietly told her "not yet. Soon, but not yet." He began to rock his hips against her in time with her feather-light strokes. A low moan rumbled through him each time she brushed his tip and in a moment of complete whim, Etain kissed him there. She purposefully willed herself not to think about - she merely leaned in toward him and brushed him softly with her lips, trusting herself to act on impulse, for once. "Aaaaah...Et'ika," Darman groaned, as his whole body twitched in response to her lips. He rocked back dangerously on his heels and he seemed oddly unsteady. Trembling fingers reached out, as if on impulse, and tangled themselves firmly into her hair. Etain gasped softly as he pulled a little too hard along her scalp, but she didn't shrink away from his touch. She also didn't stop him as he guided her face closer toward him. She simply closed her eyes and tried not to tremble herself, as she let him slide himself against her tongue. She had imagined this as well - a lot more often than she was comfortable admitting to herself, even. Ever since Quiilura, she had wondered about him. About his size, about the way he tasted, about how he might feel beneath her hands, about how he might feel inside her. At first, she had tried to deny such distinctly un-Jedi sort of thoughts, but the longer she spent away from him, the harder it had been to not think about him. In time, she had quietly succumbed to her thoughts, to her desires, to her curiosities. As a Jedi, she knew how to suppress such things when necessary - which was most of the time. She'd even been able to interact with him, so far, without throwing herself wantonly at his feet - and for that, Etain was immensely proud of herself. But, she also hadn't denied the thoughts that crept up on her in the middle of the night, or the warm rush she always felt when he'd been near her. She had pleasured herself many times, in private, since being around Darman again. Often, while thinking of doing what she was doing now - pleasuring him. Except for pulling her hair, he was incredibly gentle with her, probably because of his own nervousness. She could feel the tension in his arm and the way his hand shook against her scalp, but he didn't hurry her. His hips bucked from the feel of her mouth around him, but he didn't push. Considering the circumstances, Etain thought he was being a perfect gentleman - she could sense that it was costing him, though, in the way he moaned and panted. She wrapped her hand around the base of him and pressed a part of her hand against his groin. Unlike her, he was hairless there - Etain was mildly surprised, but she didn't need to wonder why. No doubt, it was one of the many ways he'd been genetically "enhanced" and, considering what he'd been bred to do, it was probably one of the more practical modifications. His skin was smooth and unscarred there as well and Etain explored his groin and further down between his thighs with her hand, as she took what she could of him into her mouth. He was big - long and thick. Two parts of her warred with each other. One primal side of her - the part of her that wanted to be wanton, and wicked, and wild - was oddly excited by the size of him. Like everything else about him, it was powerful, and tempting, and utterly masculine. The other primal side of her - the part of her that was still stubbornly innocent and liked it that way - was frightened. Darman was inescapably dangerous and built to be that way - Etain instinctively knew that no matter how gentle he tried to be, it was still going to hurt. She tried not to think too much about either - temptation or danger. Even in something as basic and human as intercourse, being a Jedi could have its advantages. Even in this - something her training definitely didn't cover - she was still able to put her mental skills to use. Etain gently recognized her trepidation and her desire, quietly placed them at the back of her mind... And focused on Darman. On now. On the feel of him - warm, smooth, hard. On the taste of him - slightly tangy, somewhat salty, just a little bit sweet. On her tongue sliding over him. On the quick pace of his breathing. On the tortured litany of curses that he growled out between clenched teeth. Etain allowed herself to let go - just this once - and lose herself in all of it. In the sounds, the sensations, the tastes, and the feelings. She wasn't at all surprised to find that she enjoyed this, enjoyed pleasuring him. Some small sense of pride unfurled inside of her, at the thought that Darman had never allowed another person to do this to him. She was his first and Etain knew, with a Force-given certainty, that he would never share this precious vulnerability with another. Her slow rhythm finally seemed to get the better of Dar's self-control. With a loud, startled gasp, he suddenly tightened his grip on her hair and pulled her head back. He jerked his hips back as well and Etain knew instinctively to let go of him. His hold on her hair made her gasp as well and she reached up to grab a hold of his large wrist. Her eyes immediately locked onto his and for a second, Darman just panted heavily and shook his head. His grip on her hair loosened, but he tugged her head up gently until she was forced to scramble to her feet. Suddenly nervous, Etain wiped the back of her hand across her mouth; the taste of him lingered heavily on the back of her tongue and she didn't immediately understand why Dar had made her stop so abruptly. He shook all over and he held her almost at arm's length. He'd squeezed his eyes shut, and he was breathing heavily in a visible attempt to steady the harsh rise and fall of his chest. Etain felt as if she'd been suddenly thrown back into unsafe waters and it was her turn to timidly ask - "Did I do something wrong?" "No!" Darman snapped his eyes open and seemed to realize almost immediately that he had frightened her. His expression softened and he shook his head. "No, Et'ika," he let go of her hair and gently cupped the curve of her jaw; Etain wasn't ashamed to seek the comfort offered to her and she nuzzled against his calloused palm. What he did next surprised her even more. In a manner certainly ingrained from his training, Darman moved without warning. Etain instinctively froze, but as he swept her off her feet and nestled her against his perfectly sculpted chest, she relaxed into his embrace. Her hands fluttered against the smooth planes of pectoral muscle, and her head leaned almost instinctively into the dip between his shoulder and his neck. A small part of her was secretly thrilled - didn't every girl deserve to be swept off her feet? "That felt...amazing," Dar whispered into her ear; the stubble along his chin tickled her cheek and Etain breathed a soft sigh of contentment. Pride - an unfamiliar feeling for a Jedi - welled up inside of her again. She had pleasured him, with her mouth and with her tongue. She'd made him feel "amazing"; she curled into his neck, but was fairly certain that he'd be able to spot her blush all the same. Darman's chest rumbled in a quiet chuckle. Oh, definitely - he'd seen her blush. "But, we don't have time to wait for me to get hard again," he kissed her earlobe and Etain felt her ears burn even brighter at the implication of his words. He just chuckled again and his left hand slid stealthily up the length of her thigh, to grope her ass. His fingers kneaded sensuously into her smoother muscle and Etain opened her mouth in a small "o" of surprise. She wasn't about to complain, though - his gentle massage felt good and sent little currents of pleasure between her legs. His voice deepened into a husky growl as his other hand pressed her tightly against his body. "You, on the other hand..." Etain's breath hitched. His words were a dark, sultry purr against her flushed skin. "I hear it's more pleasurable for a woman, if she's already come once." Etain just squeaked. What in the name of the Force could she say to that? She had to marvel at his apparent grasp of carnal knowledge. How? she wondered, before Darman's lips brushed the underside of her ear and shattered her train of thought before it could even really begin. "You deserve a bed, though." Etain mentally clawed herself out of a thick fog of vague, lust-filled thoughts. Once she unraveled the meaning of Darman's words, she lifted her head and looked at him. His eyes were dark - much darker than she'd ever seen before - but they were earnest. She reached up a shaking hand, and ran her fingers across his stubble and through his hair. A moment hung tenderly between them, before she kissed him gently. There was no tongue this time - just a virginal touching of lips, soft and pliant. Etain's lingered against his, though, as she pulled away just enough to speak. "My bed?" it was the only logical place for them to go. "Through there, right?" Darman jerked his head toward the closed door at the far end of the room, opposite the 'fresher. She nodded, suddenly shy again. Given the circumstances, he could have taken her on the table, or in a chair, or on the floor, or - hells - against the wall. But, she recognized his desire for a bed, for what it was. "You're bound and determined to do this right, aren't you?"Â she marveled, almost to herself, as his long legs quickly covered the space between the table and her bedroom door. "No point in doing something, if you're not going to do it right," Dar grinned down at her, his teeth flashing cheekily in the yellow-tinted light. Etain just laughed - she couldn't help herself. His reasoning was sound, if unromantically practical - it was classic Darman thinking and she absolutely adored it. His smile turned a little shy at the sound of her amusement, but he seemed to understand that she wasn't laughing at him. Her room was dark, but Darman paused long enough to hit the light pad set into the wall by the door, with his shoulder. A bright glare made them both squint and he grunted in disapproval. Two more solid nudges against the pad lowered the lightening, until it was soft and mellow. Etain was quietly thankful that Darman had bothered to turn the lights on at all - as comforting as it would have been to hide from each other in the dark, she wanted to be able to see this first time. She wanted to watch him, to know the emotions on his face, to understand visually what this meant to him. Darman, apparently, wanted the same, since his eyes never left hers as he lowered her against her neatly-made bed. As he bent over to lay her down, he moved his body smoothly up and over hers. With a firm tug on her hips, he tucked her in between his legs and his bulky arms framed her shoulders as he braced his weight above her. The moment hung delicately between them for the space of a single breath and then Darman began a very thorough exploration of her body. Etain immediately began to whimper and writhe underneath him; she couldn't help thinking that her Jedi-honed self-control had met its match in Dar's highly attentive concept of thorough. And, she mused before all rational thought was firmly driven from her mind, she wouldn't have wanted anything less from him.