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Close to Him

By: alwayswild



Alexis inhaled his scent.

She was so happy right now.

He finally allowed her to show him how much she really loved him.

He at least didn`t push her away anymore.

He finally let her stay, cuddled up into his arms.

On the third evening, 19-year-old Alexis had already gotten used to the silent arrangement.

She had always wanted to be this close to him, ever since she remembered.

But for years, he had fought her off every time she wanted to be hold in her father`s arms for too long.

Two days ago was the first time he hadn`t sent her away.

She hadn`t broken their embrace either, she never had wanted to.

So she was finally here, right beside him, as close to him as ever.

She finally had the chance to show him that their intimate contact wasn`t something he needed to fear.

She was lying still right beside him, her whole body frame tightly squeezed into his arms, her head propped on his chest, eyes closed, listening to his quiet breaths.

None of them seemed to feel the need to talk.

At all the times together in his bed, they hadn`t spoken a word, either.

So she just laid her head on his broad chest, inhaling his scent.

She was home!

She so missed him the last 7 weeks she was abroad.

She was with Pi now yet she didn`t love that skinny, little activist.

He was only there to cover her affection she felt for her father.

She had already known before she went to Costa Rica that she`d miss him dearly.

Alexis wanted everybody to think she was with that chaotic poodle.

In fact, she hadn`t even slept with him, not until she`d had that ugly fight with her dad.

After that incident at her front door, she had jumped him though.

She had to let out her frustration over that cold behavior of her father, had to allow her lust to show up, needed it to be satisfied just for once.

She had to focus on her love in order to not let that anger taking control of her.

Each time her father seemed to show clear signs of jealousy, seemed to indicate she actually meant more to him, she definitely felt kind of a primal need, experienced overwhelming sensations of pure lust.

Alexis Castle knew it was not only stupid and ridiculous and at the same time very bizarre and kind of weird that she wanted to safe her love -- and lust -- for him, for her father, Rick Castle.

She knew she wanted that wild and uncontrolled passion to take over once they would finally make up.

She needed to show him how serious she was about that, how deep her love for him actually was.

And now she was home.

He`d forgiven her, had kissed her and had hugged her tightly, grinnling like mad and whirling her around as if she was 12 again.

She was in love, seriously.

She didn`t want to be anywhere else, anywhere other than right here, anywhere other than in the arms of her father, cuddling with him on his bed, listening to his even breaths.

Though she really wanted more tonight, she just didn`t want to jeopardize what she already got granted, so she did nothing more than cuddling with him, even if she wanted to do so much more.

Yes, she wanted to kiss her father like she had kissed her boyfriend.

She had often pictured kissing him instead of Pi.

Tomorrow was early enough to start acting differently, acting bolder.

Tomorrow she would try out more, testing the waters, making sure that her lustful feelings were mutual.

But now she just wanted to have this moment as long as even possible, enjoying that she was allowed to be so close to him.

She refused to give in to her sleepiness because she knew he would send her away if she did fall asleep, and she didn`t want to end this so soon. So she was still listening to his even breaths as he`d already fallen asleep.

And now they had spent the night together, cuddled up like that.

He hadn`t sent her away.

After quite some time she`d fallen asleep in his arms, as well, totally happy that he`d missed the chance to send her away.

The way he looked at her the next evening, he apparently even waited for her, seemed kind of relieved as she eventually showed up at his bed.

She climbed up to him, lay down ever so close and cuddled up into his broad arms.

"Thanks..., Dad..."

Even as she whispered those words, she shortly felt him tense but as she didn`t say anything further, Rick Castle relaxed again.

"You really need me to calm, to ease, to take the pressure from you..., don`t you...?"

Surprised that he`d talk to her on his own without tensing up again, she just whispered:

"Yes..."

"Glad I can be of help..., Pumpkin...!"

Then they both went quiet again.

She sometime later decided that now it was the perfect time to try another approach.

Alexis pushed herself up, her face towards her father`s head.

She then leaned in, whispering into his ear:

"I missed you so much...!"

"I missed you too...!"

"Really...? You don`t just say that to make me feel better...?"

"Of course not...!"

"I know..."

Now they both whispered in each other`s ears.

She was so close to his lobe now, and she just couldn`t help.

She kissed it ever so lightly.

He briefly tensed but deliberately loosened up again.

He managed to concentrate on her hand again.

It wasn`t touching his shoulder anymore, her palm was now placed on his chest, burning his bare skin.

Even as she started to softly stroke her fingertips over his chest, he let that happen.

It was quite nice feeling her caressing touch.

Yet it set him ablaze, released his indecent feelings for her, stimulated him, electrified him, thrilled him in a way he wasn`t allowed.

Then suddenly a jolt of pure desire shot through his body as he felt only a hint of a kiss to his chest.

"Alexis...!"

Rick Castle yelped his daughter`s name, kind of shocked and thrilled at the same time, as he felt her breath against his chest and her wet lips pressed onto his heated skin.

"What...? Can`t I just give you a kiss anymore...?"

He didn`t know what to say, how to answer, so he went quiet again instead.

She certainly wasn`t acting appropriate any longer, he realized.

He was such a fool, he hadn`t thought he needed to worry anymore.

He should have known that she wouldn`t give up that easily.

Or maybe, he had hoped for her unflustered, sneaky determination to show up again, he didn`t know.

Nevertheless, he didn`t react to that though.

He didn`t take any action to remove her hand or stop her from kissing him again.

Until now, he had fought her off for the only reason his daughter might notice that he actually burned up in flames every time he felt the slightest of her touches.

And now she knew indeed, as well as might even feel the same.

His shock-like yell calling out her name had given him away for sure.

His daughter was too smart to not have figured it out by now.

Meanwhile she must have noticed his nervous tension when it came to her.

She must have noticed how much power she had over him, how much effort it cost him to fight the attraction.

She must have realized how much her kiss irritated him and why.

She had to know why, simply had to have figured out the reason of his anxiety.

Of course, Alexis had already thought about what could have been up with him.

She had a clue though, but until now she hadn`t exactly known for sure.

Now she felt his heart beating erratically under her fingers.

In her joy to finally have found the evidence that she wasn`t the only one with those intense emotions, she almost giggled.

The young redhead continued to stroke her father`s chest tenaciously, yet tenderly, falling silent again.

She wanted her father to get used to this, to her touches, to her tenderness.

She wanted him to recognize them as a sign of her love.

She didn`t want to make him feel uncomfortable.

When she finally felt he kind of accepted her caress, she lifted her head, looked straight into his eyes, leaned above his chest and decisively kissed his chest again, right the part where she had just touched him.

His eyes went dark but she only heard him inhaling sharply.

He didn`t say anything, didn`t protest, and most important, he not even pushed her away.

Her kisses started to get more confident, and more intense, too.

She not only kissed him, she more or less even sucked in some skin and marked him.

She only heard his heart beating unsteadily.

Her own was filled with pride and immense joy.

Now that Alexis knew he wouldn`t push her away, she even kind of climbed him.

She swung her right leg on his left, pulled herself up a bit and pressed her upper body right to his chest, kind of crowded him so he couldn`t get away anymore.

And she even started to tentatively nudge her crotch against his thigh.

He didn`t object that blunt, indicating suggestion, what she offered there so uninhibited

He couldn`t resist, he couldn`t fight her off. He didn`t want to.

He wanted to find out how far his daughter would go.

He needed to know if she was willing to go through with what she insinuated here.

He knew that once they crossed that line that he couldn`t, they couldn`t, just go back to normal as if nothing had happened.

She needed to understand that it would actually frustrate and hurt him if she just teased him.

She ought to recognize the importance of her actions, how they`d affect both of them deeply.

After quite a while, when she eventually realized that he didn`t react, she stopped her moves and lifted her head to lock eyes with him.

"Dad...?"

He just looked at her, intensely staring her down, to bring her to accept the weight of her actions.

"Don`t you want...?"

"What, Pumpkin...? Do you really know what you`re doing here...?"

The significance of her quiet nod almost pushed the air out of his lungs.

"You sure...?"

"Yes..., I know exactly what I`m doing..."

"I need to hear you say it...loud and clear..."

He almost passed out as he felt her moving against him all over again but he still closed his eyes to be able to resist even now.

"I want you..."

"Pumpkin..., it`s one thing to fantasize about it...but a completely different one to really act on it. Are you completely sure you...?"

"Yes..., Dad..., I want you...sexually!"

"But Alexis..."

"No matter what you say, I want to...feel...you..."

And as if she wanted to prove her determination to him, Alexis started to openly hump his leg.

"You want to...feel...me...?" Rick visibly gulped in disbelief and shock, his heart doing flips.

She dreamily humped his leg again, once, twice and a third time.

In her moves there wasn`t anything indicating anymore, now it was absolutely, undeniably, unmistakably clear what his daughter wanted.

And then, suddenly, it just happened.

Alexis pretty much crawled onto him, firmly stroked his chest before she laid her head in between his shoulder and his neck and snuggled right into him.

Then she let her lips gently glide up his neck, only lightly touching the skin with her lips, breathing even harder when she felt his obvious arousal at her naked thigh.

Alexis decided to get even bolder now.

She held on his shoulders and pulled herself up, starting to kiss his cheekbones and his ears again.

Then she didn`t move much more, except for when she mounted him, very tentatively and somehow shyly sliding her crotch over his jeans clad erection.

"Yes..., Dad..., but I want it..., oh..., just don`t move...! Let me..., I just need..."

She then did that repeatedly, hazily rubbing her damp folds against him.

He groaned in pleasure.

He neither pushed her away, nor did he do anything to stop her.

He didn`t even object.

He just let Alexis have her way and started to get an idea of it when he felt her constantly moving against him.

The young redhead almost anxiously expected him to stop her attempt, she was kind of surprised that he hadn`t already.

So she set butterfly kisses on his neck, letting her lips wandering from his ear to his chin while she humped her wet crotch against his bulge.

Does she really want more from me than just her relief right now?

He still doubted if he was reading the signs the right way.

Yet the way she behaved she indeed wanted to have sex with him, and for her it apparently didn`t matter that that actually would be incest.

Rick Castle couldn`t help, but his arousal shot through the roof as it was now definitely obvious what Alexis`s intentions were.

He so wanted to enjoy this.

Her breaths became quicker, louder.

She still put little kisses on his neck, down his chin.

And she vigorously thrust her hips down on him.

She wore silky black panties, but he lastly could feel how highly aroused his little girl really was as he felt even through his pants that the silk was completely soaked.

The sexual hunger of his daughter and the way she let him see it, the openness with which she stimulated herself and the unabashed lust she let him hear, made him so endlessly horny himself, as well.

And all out of a sudden, she slanted her open mouth over his and pushed her tongue into him.

He didn`t really know what happened to him.

He was imprisoned in a lust-haze.

He didn`t expect to feel this fantastic as their tongues met.

He could only feel by now.

He simply couldn`t think clear enough.

He heard her pants.

She groaned them into his mouth.

He felt her humping him harder, faster.

She propped both her arms beside his head, her fingers pulling through his hair, looking into his eyes, needy.

"Help me..., Dad..., please...!"

At first he didn`t realize that she had said something, even begged him for more, but then he instinctively moved his hands on her waist and pulled her down onto him.

She groaned impatiently.

"Yes..., yes...!"

Realizing how close his daughter was to finally release her sexual lust because of how lewd her grunts sounded, Rick was at the edge, as well.

"No, no, no...! You have to push, too..."

He followed her instructions and grabbed her delicious behind, still in panties.

He inadvertently even slipped down the waistband to even grab her pure flesh.

And completely on purpose, he now even jerked his hips up to meet her when at the same time he pulled her down.

He now even felt the force of her riding him, her breaths as hard as they could get and her keen wails louder than ever. No one who witnessed that scene could have mistaken it as something other than a wild coupling.

When she kissed him open-mouthed again, he let a finger slip down to her anal hole, teasing her there.

"Dad...?" She gasped.

"Sorry..., pumpkin...," he had troubles to stop but finally achieved to interrupt their haze. "You wanna stop...?"

"Hell...no...," she instantly yelled. "...not a chance...! Keep going..., please...!"

To show him that she meant what she said, she keenly rocked herself against him.

"Dad..., I need you...," she urgently begged him.

"Alexis..., we can`t...," he stuttered, and then continued, almost whispering. "That`s incest..."

"So what...?" She panted in heat. "Dad..., I know...you want it, too..."

"Pumpkin..., we didn`t take any precautions...," he left the insinuation hanging in the air. 

"Yeah, right...! If that`s all that keeps you from grabbing and pounding me..., I can assure you, Dad..., you`re safe..."

"Alexis..., that`s...! No..., we can`t...do this...," he still tried to be responsible.

"Oh yes..., we can...! And I..., uh..."

The redhead couldn`t finish her sentence because her sexual heat demanded her undivided attention.

She bounced on him with all the determination she could find.

"Alexis..., please...! It`s...not..., it`s forbidden...," he tried again.

"I don`t care...!" Alexis gasped into his ear, not even trying to hide her need. "I want you to take me..., right now...!" 

He just had to listen to her needy pleas now.

In a sudden, feral impulse of uncontrolled desire, he spun her around, instantly pushed between her legs, and really started to hump her.

"Yes..., Dad..., fuck me...!"

He lost all control over his actions, couldn`t think anymore.

He just fucked her.

He bit down on her ear lobe.

He wiped his wet tongue over her skin, nibbling up and down her neck.

Then he finally kissed her with a hunger she never could have imagined.

The same instant she felt his eager tongue playing with hers, sending chills down her spine, she went rigid, pressed herself up to him with a powerful strength and screamed out of sheer lust.

She came in an earth-shattering orgasm.

She squirted into her panties.

Feeling her own slick, juicy release, she started to sob in joy.

She felt her emotions overpowering her, felt utterly rewarded now after such a long time of desperate hope, all the time yearning to really have a chance to experience that forbidden lust one day.

"I love you, Dad!"

Rick Castle couldn`t help it.

The moment he felt her orgasm crushing down on her, hearing Alexis pant, the keen whimpers of her relief and her confession, he came, too.

He unloaded into his briefs.

With each additional hump onto Alexis`s crotch, he spilled even more cream.

And with releasing each jet of his sperm, he grunted obscenely into her ear, still wiping his tongue in a wantonly manner over her skin, making her shivering in awe.

He happily panted:

"I know..., Pumpkin! I love you, too...! You really don`t know how much..."

Close to Home



Lynn comes to realise that love and fleeting passion are not the same thing at all and sometimes true love comes in unexpected ways...

*

I met Alex about three years ago. Wendy said then he had to be a rat -- nobody could be that handsome and nice with it. She was my best friend and knew she could say anything she liked, so she did. She always spoke her mind and it was that part of her that endeared her to me.

I laughed it off of course, but deep down I hoped for once it wasn't a case of true words spoken in jest. So often my impetuous nature had been steadied by her perception and good sense. But I had to convince myself that this time she was wrong -- or might be. I'm afraid I'd fallen for Alex Morton, hook, line and sinker as they say and I didn't want to listen to any advice, no matter how prudent and well-meaning it was intended... not if it put a downer on a my latest romance.

If it had just been a matter of looks, (and he was gorgeous) it wouldn't have been so bad. But Alex was a charmer, witty and well-mannered and fun to be with.

We first met when he came to visit Joe, who lived in the flat opposite mine.

Easy-going, good-natured, tousle-haired Joe -- he was no oil-painting, but a lovelier guy you could not wish to meet. I always felt safe somehow whenever he was around, and most times he seemed to be... like he was part of the furniture. He was always fixing things for me and helping me out with stuff.

He'd knocked on my door one evening to borrow some milk and just over his shoulder I saw Alex for the first time. I tell you, my toes curled just seeing him. I felt myself blushing when he looked at me. He had the most devilish smile. Was an introduction too much to hope for?

I didn't have to bother my head about that, for two minutes later there was another knock on my door. It was Alex this time. "Sorry about this," he said, grinning mischievously. "You see... we're out of coffee too!"

I didn't care if this was a lie or not because my heart leapt with an intense excitement, as if a thousand butterflies had taken flight in my tummy.

"Joe thought you might like to join us for a cuppa," he added. And that was how it all began.

I trod warily at first, forbidding my heart to sing every time I heard the throaty roar of his sports car arriving for me, but my heart just wouldn't listen. I'm pretty easy-going overall, but I still get hurt and I knew I wouldn't be able to laugh off this relationship if it all went bottoms up. I was madly in love with this guy... end of!

Spring quickly gave way to summer, and one shimmering afternoon we decided to drive out to a beauty spot in the country. I settled in the seat beside Alex, wearing a light cotton frock in coral and a white blouse. I could tell by the way Alex kept glancing at me he approved.

He had the soft top down and it was so invigorating having the wind in my hair as the road stretched out before us. I felt free and reckless, kind of born again.

We came to a little village on the way where we stopped for some refreshment -- The Tudor Tea Rooms, a charming half-timbered cottage with sweeping lawns and a duck pond. A black cat stretched lazily in the sunshine on one of the tables. We sat outside and spoiled ourselves with jam scones topped with thick cream and a pot of breakfast tea. It was fun to be indulgent and not worry about the waistline for once.

Alex watched me pour the tea with an intent expression which I didn't understand, like there was something troubling him. He caught my eye and smiled quickly, once more cool and unflappable. Later we strolled down shady lanes and along bridleways and country paths, across corn fields and through bluebell woods. It was simply wonderful.

There was a drowsy stillness about the afternoon, broken only by the occasional flutter of a bird in the trees and distant sounds of motorway traffic. We found a gap in the hedge and pushed through, flopping down on the lush green grass. The smell of hay came to me and I lay back under the vast blue sky. I listened to a grasshopper while Alex propped himself on one elbow beside me.

I looked up at him. His fresh white shirt, open at the neck, curved smoothly against a tanned throat, the brooding brown eyes seemed to bore into me. I reached out for his face and touched his black hair. A little strand fell over one eyebrow. His mouth relaxed into the devilish smile, showing perfect teeth and I once again felt that strange fluttering inside me.

"Happy, Lynn?" he asked. I nodded. I was happy any time we were together. The sunshine and birdsong were just a bonus.

"And you... are you happy?" I whispered.

Again the thoughtful look. "Don't I look it then?"

"Of course," I assured him. "It's just -- oh, I don't know. You seem restless sometimes. Perhaps it's my imagination." I sat up and looked intently into his face.

"No wonder. You're a very disturbing young woman," he replied, pulling me down beside him. His strong arms were about me then, and I was lost in the urgent sweetness of his kisses. His nearness was an intoxicating wine, and all the doubts vanished as I gave myself to him completely.

On the drive home I leaned back and studied his face. His eyes never left the road, and he kept both hands on the wheel this time. When we had set out today he had been more tactile, touching me in a flirtatious way, even while driving.

Now I detected a coolness in the atmosphere and it wasn't anything to do with the sun disappearing behind the gathering clouds. He seemed different since...

***

After a while we pulled up at a pub which oozed warmth and light and cheerful chatter which drifted out through open windows into the gathering dusk. We parked up and Alex fixed the hood back up on the car.

"Looks like it might rain," he said. "Better be on the safe side."

We found a secluded corner seat and Alex fetched drinks.

"Thank you, Alex." I smiled into his eyes. No mistake this time. The brooding look was back in them. There was something he wanted to say, and he was finding it difficult.

He gulped his drink. "I've got some news for you, Lynn."

My stomach did a backward summersault. "Good or bad?" I said. My throat suddenly felt dry and tight, despite my orange juice.

"Well... both really. I've been offered a job in my firm's new branch. It's a big chance for me. It's the promotion I've always wanted."

A relieved smile sprang to my lips, then faded as I caught his expression, a suggestion that there were implications.

"It's a great opportunity for you then..? Are you taking it?"

"Yes, I can't afford not to... not if I want to get on." Something in his look sent an icy fear into my heart.

"Okay," I said, steeling myself. "Let's have it. You did say the news was good and bad." He laid his hand on mine. "The bad bit, darling, if you can call it that... well, the job's not particularly local..."

My hand beneath his went limp. "What do you mean, not local? How 'not local'?

"Well, it's kind of abroad."

"Kind of..?"

"Yes. I've been offered a position with our firm in the States."

"And you're taking it?" I couldn't think clearly at that moment. I had to hear him say it again, before my disbelieving ears would take it in.

"What's to stop me? You've always known I'm ambitious."

"Yes, but I hadn't realised that meant you leaving the country. What about us?"

"There'll be return trips home. The firm will allow me one week in six to visit the UK. All expenses paid."

But somehow I sensed a finality about it all. Was I expected to sit at home five weeks out of six twiddling my thumbs and being a good little girl while he was having the time of his life? He struggled to find the right consoling words. His cool demeanour seemed to have deserted him for a moment. "That's what's going to hurt me most, Lynn. I've been so happy seeing you. I'll miss you so much."

"You make it sound so final," I said.

"I don't mean to. You will wait for me, won't you?"

"Do you really expect me to stay behind while you..."

"I'm sorry you're taking it like this."

"Yes," I said, "and so am I. Look, Alex... if I forced you to make a choice, between the job and me, what would your answer be?" The silence that followed was deafening and confirmed my worst fears.

I wanted to mention about the possibility of me going with him, but somehow I sensed it was futile and would only have driven the nail in even further. I was sure he would have mentioned it up front, saying something like: "Guess what, darling? Great news... We're off to America."

Suddenly the atmosphere was oppressive. I gulped my drink, wishing I'd asked for something stronger than orange juice and then stood up. My head swam. I needed some air. "I think I want to go home, Alex."

He escorted me to the car and fastened my seat belt, courteous as ever. Then he settled into the seat beside me. I remember little of the drive home. I think we talked a bit -- at least, Alex did. He said something about being sure I'd understand and wish him well, I was such a sweet girl.

Yeah, I was sweet all right. Sweet little understanding Lynn - sweet on him and forever sweet on the wrong guy. It was the story of my life.

I would have loved being asked me to go with him as his wife. Mrs Lynn Morton had a nice sound to it. But he'd never mentioned marriage at any time, so if I'd let my thoughts run in that direction I had only myself to blame for the crushing disappointment that now engulfed me.

Back in my room, I lay awake for much of the night. Tears wouldn't come at first. My mind put up a safety barrier. Perhaps he'd change his mind; perhaps the whole thing would fall through, perhaps...perhaps...

My mind chased the thoughts around like a puppy chasing its tail. But beneath it all lay the cold, unyielding reality, the certainty that it was all over between us. Alex had enjoyed my company and my loving, now he was ready to run. No doubt things would have drifted happily on if this job hadn't come up; but marriage, obviously, was not for him. I could tell that the possibility of spending time away from me hadn't affected him as I hoped it would. There had been a kind of hidden glee behind his regrets and apologies, even though he had struggled to come clean about it all. He wanted his freedom, a fresh start, an opportunity for success in his career and status in life and these things were now firmly within his grasp. He didn't want anyone getting in the way of that, least of all me.

He tried to see me the next day, but I didn't feel like meeting him. There was nothing to say and no kisses to kiss. I loved him still, but how could I bear to be with him when he was soon to be gone? Better to part now, while the icy numbness had me in its grip.

Wendy asked me to stay at her flat for a few days. Good old dependable Wendy. She had always been the one I turned to. That's what best friends are for. She was just a little older than me, but always had a good sense beyond her years, and this time she showed her usual perception. She knew I was badly hit by this business, and, on her insistence, the "few days" lengthened into a month.

***

When I returned to my place, there was a pile of letters waiting for me, and one of them was from Alex. It had obviously been delivered by hand. It was genuinely affectionate, thanking me for everything, and telling me the date of his departure, which was the day before yesterday. So he'd already gone!

I was jolted out of my brooding by the doorbell. It was Joe. I felt kind of embarrassed about facing him again, yet relieved and comforted that he was still here.

"How lovely to see you!" His easy grin held a warm welcome. "I thought you were never coming back. So glad you have, though. Fancy a coffee?"

I nodded, crossed the landing to his room and perched on the arm of his settee. "Sorry to hear about all that with you and Alex." He patted my arm affectionately and then changed the subject skilfully. Thank goodness he wasn't going to discuss it; and yet he hadn't completely ignored the subject. Joe knew how to strike just the right note. I sipped the coffee gratefully.

He suddenly picked up his coat. "Want anything at the shops?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm going out myself shortly. Thanks anyway, Joe. And thanks for the coffee."

I just made it across to my flat. The coffee and I parted company as I staggered to and just about made the bathroom. Oh, my God! The dreadful suspicion that I was pregnant could no longer be discounted. I rang Wendy, who arrived at my door soon after. She was full of practical common sense. "I've got a pregnancy kit. I always keep it handy. You can test yourself. You have to know one way or the other."

The test proved positive and when I should have been feeling joy at the news of a baby, a dreadful feeling settled like a brick in the pit of my stomach. The room began to go black and my ears buzzed.. I closed my eyes, swaying. Wendy put her arm around me, steadied me and chaperoned me to a chair.

"Sit quietly for a moment and it will pass," she said gently, as the tears sprang to my eyes. "I'll get you a drink."

Wendy came with a cool glass of water. A few sips later I was feeling much better.

"What are you going to do?"

"I need some time to think," I told her. She stayed to chat for a while and once she had made me some hot, sweet tea to drink and was certain I was going to be okay, she left me alone with my thoughts... and the knowledge of a new life beginning inside me.

The evening seemed to slip by in a haze of confusion. I was no nearer knowing what I should do. I was just making myself a hot malt drink, preparing to go to bed when my doorbell rang again.

"Joe..!" And suddenly I burst into tears and fell into his arms. My knees sagged as he led me inside and sat me down." It's okay, Lynn. I'm here now." His voice was unexpectedly gentle, and not alarmed by the spectacle I must have been making of myself. I stared at this friendly, familiar face. "It's all right, I know all about it. Wendy called round after she left you and kind of explained things."

I felt too limp to ask questions and leaned my head weakly against his shoulder. Unexpectedly, his arms went round me then; not demanding as Alex's had been, but reassuring, comforting. He cradled me against him.

"I want you to know I'll always be here for you, Lynn. I'll take care of you -- and the baby. Marry me, Lynn. I know you don't love me now, but I promise you will come to love me, at least a little. I'll really try hard for you."

His pleading surprised me out of my self-pitying stupor. To hear Joe speak of love was something that had never entered my head before. Perhaps when you live close to someone you miss the obvious.

I looked up, and saw in his eyes, not pity, but warmth and understanding, coupled with caution. He was mentally holding his breath.

"I'll have to think about it, Joe, I'm sorry. My head's in such a whirl at the moment." I was trembling with a peculiar excitement and my voice was all quivery. He understood. Of course my situation and his unexpected proposition needed thinking about.

Wendy, of course, had already confided my fears to him. She knew what I had been too blind to even suspect all along -- that Joe was utterly and completely in love with me, and, as she later pointed out, my secret would have come out eventually in the natural course of events.

***

As promised, I did think over Joe's proposal. And I spoke of it to Wendy, who was bound to be full of good sense. But this time, there was no ready-made answer. "It's for you to decide," she told me. "But don't only think about it. Feel about it too!"

So that's what I did and I think I was surprised to discover the warmth and sweetness in my heart that must surely have been waiting for Joe all along.

So I married him -- not just for the sake of the baby girl who was later to arrive; but because I saw now that real love and fleeting passion are two different things entirely.

But all that was three years ago now and when at night I tuck my little daughter into bed and kiss the small, tousled-haired heads of my twin sons, I say a prayer of thanks to my loving, and much-loved, Joe.

THE END