1 comments/ 53981 views/ 26 favorites Banging Big Time Is No Theory Ch. 01 By: kingchaos69 Amy's slumber party "I can't thank you and Bernadette enough for this, "Amy said to Penny. "The only slumber party I had growing up was with my teddy bear 'Isaac Newton', my cat, 'Madame Curie' and my hamster 'bubbles'. It was a truly torrid affair, 'Madame Curie' wound up eating 'Bubbles' and got sick and I wound up in bed with 'Isaac Newton', needless to say my mother never let me have another." Unaffected by the names of Amy's pets and bear, Penny replied while fixing the pillows on the couch, "we are more than happy to Amy, I must admit after the day I had, staying in and getting drunk with you two will be more fun and getting drunk at some nightclub and end up getting sick in some strange guys bathroom." Penny then straightened and looked at Amy, "wait, you mother wouldn't let you have another slumber party because your cat ate your hamster?" "Actually, 'Bubbles' belonged to 'Madame Curie' so that ending was inevitable." "Then why was your mom upset", Bernadette asked. "Because I humped 'Sir Isaac Newton' all night and I got him so wet that the smell never did go away" Amy replied with a straight face. "Mother refused to buy me any more stuffed animals after that night as well. But that's okay; I buy myself much better toys now. You might say my toothbrush is my second best friend" She said with straight face. "Okay," Penny mouthed as she turned away and refilled her glass with wine. "Oh I have some of the best toys," Bernadette said smiling as well, "Ones that even my Howie doesn't know about." She took the bottle from Penny and refilled her own glass. "Would you like some wine, Amy" "Oh, no thank you, my Yoohoo is still cold" she said sitting on the couch next to Penny. "And thank you again Penny for the use of the PJ's." she held out her arms to admire her garb. They were bright pink, quite loose fitting, and comfortable. "I usually sleep in the nude but this will be such fun." "So do I," Bernadette said as she sat back down in her chair, "I'm so glad I found this night shirt in the back of the closet." It was a loose fitting flannel in a pattern of browns, tans and grey and hung on her to only just above her mid thigh. She had the top two buttons undone exposing ample amounts of cleavage. "I dearly love flannel, but I just wish it weren't so hot tonight," she said while fanning herself. Penny was in her customary pink satin top with its low cut and spaghetti straps and her powder blue silk boxers. Her long legs were soft and supple and her nipples easily protruded through the flimsy material of her top. She couldn't help admiring Bernadette's bosom and short but firm legs as she sat on the couch. She also couldn't help to notice that Bernadette wasn't wearing any panties. Wow, she thought, I think I've had too much wine. "So, what do you guys want to do?" "Well according to the internet," Amy said "one customary activity at a slumber party is something they call 'Truth or Dare', and as the most Angelic and sublime of us, I think Penny should go first." "Ah, that's okay. Why don't you go first Bernadette?" Penny said with a quizzical look on her face and downed the rest of her wine. "Okay," she replied in her cute small voice, "truth!" "Okay," said Amy, "Who many miles of blood vesicles are in the human body?" "No, no Amy," Penny said as she began to pour the last of the wine into her glass. "It's not that kind of truth. It's supposed to be something about the person, something more personal or intimate. Wow," she said as she looked at the now empty bottle in her hand, "we went through that second bottle quickly." "But this is only my third glass," Bernadette replied somewhat inquisitively. "And I'm only on my second bottle of Yoohoo," Amy said perfunctorily. "Alright, alright, shut up, don't judge me. I'll open another bottle," Penny said annoyingly and she rose from the couch, swaying a little in the process. "Maybe I don't need to open another bottle." She said mostly to herself. She looked over at her two friends, Amy was nearly gazing at her in wonder and Bernadette looked... well she just looked good! "Yea, I need that other bottle." Bringing the third bottle of wine back into the living room with her, she had just started to take a drink from her newly filled glass after sitting back down at the end of the couch when Amy asked her revised question. "Okay Bernadette, how about this. How big is Howard's penis?" Penny spat up some of her wine. "Wow, you took that seriously didn't you," Bernadette said somewhat taken aback. "Well if you must know my Howie is just a bit under six inches." Penny wiped her chin, took a long look at her two friends and again downed the rest of her wine. Her night was progressing just as well as her day had. She had run into Lenard in the hall both upon leaving for work and upon coming home. On their second meeting they got into a fight. He kept wanting to know why she broke up with him and she couldn't give an honest answer. She couldn't tell him why because she really didn't know the answer herself. She could see the love in his eyes as well as the hurt she had caused and it tore at her. So she lashed out at him in her own pain and told him she never wanted to see him again. It was the biggest lie she had ever told and it shamed her to her core. God but I need to get laid, she thought. She looked over at her friends yet again and lustful visions began to fill her mind. Where the HELL is this coming from, she chastised herself. She had never before ever looked at any woman sexually and yet here she was feeling her pussy begin to moisten at the sight of her best friends, at the sight of Bernadette's partially hidden, blonde, trimmed pussy. "Well Penny?" Bernadette asked her. She had obviously missed the question. "I'm sorry, what?" "I asked you, what you want, Truth or dare?" "Oh um, I don't know, truth I guess." "Alright, why did you break up with Lenard?" "What?!" "Why did you break up with Lenard? We know you're crazy about him. What happened? Did he do or say something?" Penny stood up finished her wine and said woodenly, "I'm done playing. In fact I think I'm going to bed. I'm not feeling well." She walked slowly to her bedroom and shut the door. She didn't ever bother getting under the covers as she lay on the bed and began to lightly cry. "Well, that was fun," Amy said with a mixture of joy and satisfaction. "What's next?" "I don't know," Bernadette replied. "What else does your phone say?" "Well, we already gave each other makeovers and placed phony phone calls. The next thing on the internet suggests is eating raw cookie dough but as that is potentially hazardous I am going with what after that. It says that some women experiment with harmless lesbian sex." "Where exactly on the internet have you been looking?" Amy got up off the couch and started toward Penny's room, "are you joining me?" "You're kidding, right?" Amy replied, "You never could handle her raw sexuality, could you?" she turned and opened the door to Penny's room. Bernadette's face was in shock. "I would have gone with the raw cookie dough." Amy stood in the door to Penny's bedroom, looking at her bestie lying face down on her bed, softly crying. Her chemise and shorts were rumpled yet clinging tightly to her body and her golden hair was in disarray. She was quite the enigma to Amy. She was her best friend, her first true friend. To Amy she could do no wrong, or at least she could forgive her anything that she may do wrong. She had been thinking about her for a long time and still could not quite grasp her feelings toward her. Penny was so beautiful; her smile could light up a room. She had so much strength about her as well, far more than she believed she did, it was evident to anyone smart enough to see it, and Amy was very smart. In short, Penny was the best woman she had ever known. If she could only be as brilliant as Sheldon, she mused. Sheldon, now there was another conundrum. He was so masculine and pasty, and his mind was nearly beyond mortal men. The man made her moist simply by the way he thought. And yet she could do nothing to get him into her bed. She had tried so many times but he was all brains and no balls, as her dear Penny would put it. But she won't give up on him; she'll take his seed yet. But back to her darling Penny, she thought. If she had Sheldon's mind she WOULD be perfection, even in her current state. Her oh so darling Penny, did she love her or was she IN love with her. She just couldn't figure it out. Well, she thought to herself, it's about time I find out. She crossed the room, sat down on the bed next to Penny, and began to gently caress her hair. "It's okay Penny, you don't have to answer the question." Penny rolled over on her back, looked up at Amy and said with a tremor of a laugh, "I know Amy. I'm sorry for that..." Amy placed a finger on Penny lips and shushed her. "No need to apologize." She took a good long look and her bestie and marveled, her eyes were a little puffy and her cheeks were rosy form the drink and the tears. Her chemise had pulled down and was now exposing her perfectly pert left breast and her silk boxers were twisted and pulled up so much that Amy could see that her pubic hair was neatly trimmed above her lovely vagina. She could feel Penny's lips twitch beneath her finger. "You never need to apologize to me bestie," and she said as she bent down and ever so gently kissed Penny on the lips. Amy's mind seemed to blossom with light and her nether yaya became engorged. No, that was not right, she thought, not "nether yaya", not "engorged", not anymore, not with her Penny. No, Amy felt like her pussy on fire! Penny didn't know what to think, she knew she was drunk, she'd been far drunker that this back home in Nebraska. Her mind was racing. Amy was kissing her. It may have started out as a sisterly consoling kiss but that's not what it was now. Amy was kissing her in earnest, with desire and yet she still fumbled like she wasn't sure what to do next. Penny knew what to do next. She didn't care anymore. She was tired of hurting, tired of feeling sorry for herself and tired of feeling alone. And Amy's kiss awoke a part of her that she could no longer deny. Thoughts of Bernadette's blond pussy flashed in her mind and she no longer cared, she placed her hands on either side of Amy's beautiful face and kissed her back. She opened her mouth and slid her tongue into Amy's mouth, who accepted it earnestly. Penny took her hands from Amy's head and slid them down her face and neck till they reached her breasts, still within the pajamas she had lent her. She wasn't wearing her lace bra that hooks in the front; she had been planning this all along, Penny thought with wonder. Without caring Penny grasped the garment and tore it open, the buttons flying off. She brushed at both of Amy's nipples with the tips of her fingers. Amy gasped into her mouth and her whole body shuttered. Penny then quickly put her arms around Amy's body and pulled her tightly to her, broke their kiss, and rolled them both over so she was now on top. She knew Amy was a virgin, so she took complete control. Amy had completely lost her mind at this point and was loving it. Her Goddess was sitting up, straddling her waist and looking down with a gaze of both lustful abandon and what could only be described as delicious wickedness. Penny took hold of her chemise, pulled it over her head and tossed it away, her breasts were standing high and her nipples were erect. She reached down and took hold of Amy's hands and placed them on her firm breasts. "Like this," she said, using her hands to show Amy how to play with her breasts and nipples. "Hold my tits like this, darling Amy and play with my nips like this. Oh God yea, that's it baby," Penny shuttered as Amy did as she was shown. "I told you that you had a shot at this wonderland of a body of mine," Amy said with a grin. "Yes you did, and now I'm going to play." Penny began to undulate her hips, grinding her firm ass into Amy's pussy, thrilling at the reaction she was getting. She knew that Amy was on fire and she was going to enjoy every inch of her luscious body. Penny leaned down again and kissed Amy hard, her tongue exploring, then she began to plant kisses down her body, from her chin, to her neck and stopping at her breasts. She gently nibbled upon Amy's nipples, and then sucked on them while flicking her tongue across the tips. Amy was groaning and whimpering by turn. While teasing her breasts, Penny slowly snaked her and down Amy's smooth stomach and into the bottoms of her PJ's, where she found quite a surprise. "Amy," Penny said as she lifted herself up to look into her eyes. "That's quite a hefty bush you've got there." "I know," Amy replied with a bit of shame in her voice. "I never could bring myself to shave it. It's not like it was getting any attention by anyone other than my toothbrush, Gerard." "Well let's fix that, shall we?" Penny said as she got up and pulled Amy to her feet, pulled her close and again kissed her passionately before guiding her to her bathroom. "You always said that there wasn't a hair on your body that you wouldn't let me trim." She stood Amy in front the toilet, got down on her knees, reached up and ever so slowly pulled down the bottoms of her pajamas. Amy was quivering as she lifted first one leg, then the other so they could be slipped all the way off. "It's not that bad," Penny said. "In fact it's quite beautiful." Amy beamed at the complement. "Now sit down while I warm up the water and get my lather and razor." Penny got out a small tub and placed it in the bathtub where she filled it with hot water. She also got out her straight razor that she used on very special occasions along with a wash cloth and thick towel. "Now lean back, baby, I won't hurt you." She heated up the lather and applied it to Amy's bush, caressing it in. Amy shuttered with pleasure again. Penny spread Amy's legs as wide as they would go and began to slowly and lovingly remove all the hair from her pussy. Setting the razor aside once she was done she then wetted the washcloth and wiped away all the remaining lather and hair till Amy's pussy was spotless before gently drying it with the towel. "There we go my love," Penny said, "it's perfect. And if I may say, it's one of the most beautiful I've ever seen, and I've seen me a lot of porn," she said with a chuckle. "Do you really think so?" Amy asked shyly. "I do, I really do." Penny said and then bent forward to place a kiss on her very moist lips. "Let's go back to bed now." Penny rose and took Amy by the hand and walked backwards so she could take in every inch of Amy's wonderful form. Upon reaching the bed she pushed Amy upon the bed and slowly removed her chemise and boxers. Amy gazed on in a mixture of wonder and lust. "My God, I've wanted this for so long," Amy said is a wavering voice, barely able to control herself. Penny then slowly crawled up the bed between Amy's open legs, kissing and caressing as she went before reaching her goal. Amy's pussy was open wide, like the petals of an orchid, and slick with dew. She bent down, kissed her clitoris and then gave her pussy a nice long lick. Penny never before had tasted anything like it, her first taste of pussy that wasn't her own and it drove her lust to a fevered pitch. Amy let out a low moan that changed to a squeal as Penny inserted first one, then two fingers into her. Her mind was gone, no rational thoughts remained, just her lust for her dear Penny, just the feeling of her dearest bestie between her legs, worshiping her. She wanted it to last forever. It didn't. From the doorway she could now see Bernadette, one hand between her legs and the other clutching at one of her breasts. Her face had a look of pure lust, as she licked her lips as if tasting what she saw before her. She saw that Bernadette's eyes were focused in on Penny's amazing ass, which was up in the air while she was between Amy's legs. It was then like things were in slow motion as Bernadette entered the room and came to the bed. Her hand was reaching out to touch Penny's perfect ass, that's when Amy screamed, "No! Please don't, not yet I beg of you. I want to be the first. Please, please, let me be the first to taste her! I'll do anything you want, anything, just let me taste her pussy first." Penny bolted upright, out of fear and shock before she calmed down upon realizing who it was. "It's okay, Amy, it's okay." Turning to her other friend she said with her voice full of wickedness and play, "Soon Bernadette, soon, but first why don't you come down here and taste of our dear Amy. I swear to you it's divine." Bernadette threw off her glasses and after Penny got out of bed, dove into Amy's pussy like a starving woman. She was savage and hungry, and Amy loved it. Penny walked to the head of the bed; her eyes fixed on Amy's, and licked her lips. She bent down and before she kissed her said, "Why don't you have a taste as well?" Amy tasted her own wetness for the first time and realized that Penny was right, she did taste great. Breaking the kiss rose up and looked her in the eyes again. "Now let's give you something to compare that with." Penny cooed as she got back up on the bed and straddled Amy's face. To Amy, it was like looking into heaven. She had dreamed of this so many nights and now it was coming true. She stuck out her tongue and took a tentative lick of Penny's cookie, it was amazing. She dove in with wild abandon. She was an Atheist but she now believed in Heaven, because she was there, with Bernadette ravaging her pussy with her lips tongue and fingers, and her purring into and playing with Penny's delicious kitty, there was no better place on Earth. She had so many orgasms that she lost count and she was especially proud that she helped Penny to cum time and again. After some time Penny finally rolled off, gasping. "Okay, okay, give me a minute. My pussy is so sensitive right now." She crawled over and kissed Amy hard, "My God but you're good!" she got up out of the bed and stretched languidly, like a happy cat and walked to the end of the bed, to Bernadette. Bernadette saw her coming to her out of the corner of her eye, stopped lavishing Amy's honey pot, much to the poor woman's chagrin, and looked up at Penny. Gorgeous Penny, slinking up toward her, covered in sweat, her blond hair a wild mess, a sexual Goddess in all her glory. She didn't know what to do; it was like a deer being caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. She trembles in anticipation. When Penny got to the end of the bed she gently took hold of Bernadette's shoulders and turned her onto her back on the bed. "You do know that you are the reason all this really took off, don't' you? You were in there sitting all innocent on that couch in your little night shirt," Penny said and she ran her fingers along the lapels of the shirt. "You aren't wearing any panties. I know because I saw and it drove me to distraction. Images of your pretty blonde pussy kept dancing in my mind. It got me to thinking about your 'ample bosom', as our dear Amy likes to call it, that we've all been so enamored with," Penny crooned as she began to unbutton the night shirt, "and how much I want to see them, to touch them." She lowered herself down and kissed one of Bernadette's nipples, "to taste them," then she kissed the other. She enjoyed hearing the woman's gasp. "In fact," she said as she looked up into Amy's eyes and nodded before looking back into Bernadette's and continued, "I think it's your turn for some loving," and kissed and nibbled her way down her tummy before she came to her open legs. She bit Bernadette's left inner thigh, then her right before looking up into her eyes again and gave her pussy a long and hot tongue bath. Bernadette squealed and shook. She had never known this much pleasure. It was heightened as Amy then bent over her, kissed her passionately and began to suckle and play with her breasts. She lost all track of time. Banging Big Time Is No Theory Ch. 01 Sometime later they all lay together on the bed, breathing heavily and covered is sweat and saliva and cum. Amy started chuckling and Bernadette asked her what it was that came to her mind. Amy replied, "I told Leonard that my body would never be his wonderland." She then looked steamily at Penny, "And I told you that you had a much better shot." She then reached out to caress Penny's cheek. Penny flinched away slightly and blurted "I don't want to talk about Leonard." Amy pulled back, looking a little hurt. Bernadette injected, soothingly, "it's okay Penny, we don't have to. In fact, I have an idea." She got up and hurried into the living room. She yelling upon reaching the living room, "I'll get Howie!" Penny and Amy bolted upright, "What?!" they exclaimed in unison. "Not Little Howie," she explained as she reentered the room. "Big Howie." And in her hand was a dildo as least eight inches long, at least an inch and a half across. It was bright pink with studs, and with a little rabbit near its base. "I never leave home without him." She stated with glee. Amy expelled her breath and flopped back onto the bed. Penny though, got up, picked up her robe form the chair next to the bed. "Um, that's OK, you two have fun. I need to think." She started for the living room. "What's wrong bestie?" Amy asked concerned. "It's okay honey, I'm alright, I meant it. I just need to do think." She walked over to Bernadette, put her arm around her shoulder and ran a finger along the vibrator in her hand. "Why don't you show out little Angel here what it feels like to have a bit of heaven inside her." She then kissed her on the cheek and smiled, "be sure she gets the full experience of the rabbit." As she left the room she couldn't help but laugh to herself as she heard Amy ask Bernadette why she would bring a bunny to a slumber party. Amy just couldn't understand why someone would bring a bunny to a slumber party and keep it hidden the whole night. When she asked, Bernadette replied with a laugh in her adorable baby like voice, "No silly, not a bunny rabbit," she then pointed to the small protrusion near the base of the sex toy, "this is the rabbit, here. See the ears?" When she asked what it was for, Bernadette just smiled broadly. "Oh, you'll find out soon enough sexy. Now lay back and get ready for something you've never had before." Amy thought it was a bit of a superfluous statement considering all the firsts this night had already brought, but she did as she was asked. She lay back and watched her dear friend and new paramour approach and get on the bed. She crawled up toward Amy, between her legs, using her hands gently to open them even wider as she did so. When she was satisfied with the splay she sat back on her haunches and began to lick the enormous toy. Bernadette looked Amy in the eyes steamily, "normally I would use a little lube with him but you are so wet that I really don't think you'll need it." "That's okay," Amy said matter-of-factly. "If we do, Penny has some in her bed side table." "How would you know that?" "Oh, I've looked through her drawers many times before. She keeps it next to the condoms and a toy of her own." Bernadette shook her head in a bit of wonder. "Well that good to know but I still don't think you'll need it." She then bent over and once again began to lick Amy's pussy. Amy was truly going to make Sheldon pleasure her this way one of these days, she thought as she heard the toy begin to emit a small buzzing noise. Even if she had to tie him down and sit on his face. Which was a marvelous idea in and of itself. Her thoughts of her dear Sheldon flew from her mind the moment the toy entered her aching pussy. She had put her fingers in herself many times and even thought of what it would be like to use a hair brush. But this? This was amazing! She never knew it would feel like this. Bernadette slowly twisted and turned the vibrating toy as she plunged it into her. Amy began to writhe on the bed and emitted a grunt. She didn't know her voice could get that low. She began to pant as the pressure stopped. She looked down again and marveled that it was only half the way in her. That was as far as her thoughts would get as Bernadette then slowly withdrew the toy and then plunged it back in again even deeper, again and again, until she finally met the rabbit. Suddenly the amazing tool within her began to rotate and the rabbit's ears began to vibrate on her clitoris. She shrieked in ecstasy. Bernadette ground and twisted it in her as she flailed on the bed. She couldn't take anymore. She couldn't speak but she kept mouthing the word 'stop' over and over again. Her insides were exploding. She finally had the wherewithal to push the toy out of her with her hands and her cum exploded from her, spraying Bernadette in the face and chest. Bernadette squealed in delight herself and dove in to lap up the wondrous nectar. Once the orgasm subsided Bernadette crawled up next to Amy and curled up tightly to her friend. They fell asleep in each other's arms, sated, and awaited Penny's return. Penny sat down on the couch and only half listened to the gentle hum start up in the bedroom followed by Amy's deep guttural groan. She felt amazing, the rush of her first time making love to a woman, let alone two of them, was still sending tingles up and down her body. But she still couldn't get Leonard off her mind and her feelings about him. What was she to do? She hurt him so badly this time and all because she couldn't bear to tell him the truth, the truth that had been gnawing at her for so long now. She sat there for some time, long after the sounds of sex finally died down in her bedroom, before she finally knew what she had to do. She got up, retrieved the emergency key to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment from her key ring next to the door and headed out into the hall. It was late, well past three in the morning, and she knew that they would both be asleep. She opened their door, and crossed their living room as quietly as she could so as not to wake Sheldon. She hesitated before Leonard's door, fear gripping her, took a deep breath, and entered. He lay under just the top sheet as it was a warm night, and was sleeping soundly. She smiled to herself seeing that the sheet set was floral, his Spiderman sheet long gone thanks to her. She loved watching him as he slept; it was a state that personified who he was, a gentle man who would never knowingly harm anyone, especially those he loved, unlike most of the men in her life. Steeling herself, she walked to his bed and gently sat down. He startled awake and she quickly reached out her hand to stroke his arm. "Shshsh Leonard, it's okay, it just me, Penny." "What are you doing here?" he asked sleepily and with more than a bit of trepidation. "I needed to talk to you." "Couldn't it have waited till morning? Besides, I thought you never wanted to see me again." The hurt in his voice was quite clear now. Penny's eyes began to well up with tears and her voice trembled. "I know Leonard, I so sorry. I should never have said that. It was stupid of me." "You're not stupid," Leonard said reassuringly. "Yes I am." She replied, her tears now streaming down her cheeks. "I am stupid, and I've been so terrible to you at times. You're so smart and it makes me so insecure all the time. I'm so afraid you'll become bored with me. I just didn't want to get hurt again." "I could never hurt you Penny." Leonard said, now stroking her arm in return. "You have Leonard; you have a number of times. But I also know you never realized you had or that what you were saying was hurtful. You're just so naive about those things. But that's not why I'm here." "Then why are you here?" She leaned over and kissed him. "I'm here because I wanted to tell you I love you. I've loved you for a long time and have just been so scared to admit it to myself." She kissed him again. "You love me?" his voice reverberated with uncertainty and anticipation. "I do," she said, shrugging the robe off her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. She lifted up the covers and got into bed with him, kissing him repeatedly. "I love you Leonard Hofstadter. I love you so much it hurts. Make love to me." "Penny, are you sure you're not drunk?" "I am drunk, but not so much that I don't know exactly what I'm doing. I will not regret it in the morning." She kissed him again, "or for the rest of my life. Make love to me my brilliant man." He tore open his pajama top and quickly kicked off the bottoms in between kissing her in return. "I love you Penny! God I love you so much." "I love you too, honey." Her voice was soft but clear as a bell. All doubt was gone. Hearing her say it in return nearly brought him to tears but he shoved them aside. It wasn't easy, to wait so long to hear something and then to get it out of the clear blue, filled him with a sense of awe. He threw off the covers and rolled her onto her back, kissing her now on the neck and ears. She smelled amazing and said as much. "Oh it's nothing." She said sheepishly. "It's just been one of those nights." He didn't know what that meant and didn't care. All he knew is he had never smelt anything so sexy in his life and it was driving him mad. It pushed his lust to a near fever pitch as he kissed his way down to her breasts, licking and sucking her nipples, his 'breast friends' he always like to call them. He ran his hands along her legs and up to her dripping wet pussy, it seem to give off so much heat that he might get burned. He teased her lips and tickled her clit, over the years he had learned just what she liked. She purred like a kitten. He then trailed kisses down her tummy and to the tip of her clit, her breath caught, then he drove two finger deep into her while licking her open lips. She moaned in a state of bliss. He sawed his fingers in and out, curling the ends to rub across her G-spot and sucked on her now protruding clitoris. Penny thrashed beneath him. He was the King of foreplay. She grasped him by the shoulders and pulled him up. "Fuck me Leonard! Please fuck me!" "But I don't have a condom," he replied anxiously. "I don't care. I want to feel you in me. I need to feel you cum in me. Don't worry; I'm on the pill still. Just fuck me you brilliant nerd." She said, her face beaming with joy. He didn't need to be asked again. He lined up his cock and drove it home to the hilt. She screamed, lustily calling out to God. Again and again, she demanded and he was not about to deny her. For ten minutes he thrust into her, hesitating his starts and stops to heighten her anticipation and enjoyment, before the time finally arrived. "I'm cumming!" he said with a grunt. "Oh God yes, Leonard! Cum in me!" she felt him tense and then was filled with the warmth of his cum flooding into her. It triggered her own orgasm; she had never cum so hard in her life. They lay in each others arms as they calmed down, glowing in the bliss that they shared. Penny turned to Leonard and whispered into his ear, "Yes my love, I will marry you." Banging Big Time Is No Theory Ch. 02 Ersatz No Longer Howard sat on Raj's couch, drinking his fourth beer, looking rather bored. Raj didn't exactly blame him; he was on this fifth blackberry cooler himself. They had a big night planed, the gang was going to be playing Age of Conan all night but Sheldon got a last minute invite to see the Cern Large Hadron collider in Switzerland and Leonard was moping about Penny again. Apparently she told him this time that she never wanted to see him again, yea right, Raj thought, heard that one before. So it was now just him and Howard. And no internet thanks to a recent quake. Thanks a lot Bhumi, some God of the Earth you turned out to be. "I know," Raj blurted. "We could go out to that Goth club again?' "No," Howard replied. "We were barred for faking it last time, remember?" "Oh right, that quite chick ratted us out to the management. Who would have thought that a bunch of Goth's would be so moody?" Raj mused. "How about that dance club downtown? Or I know," he said excitedly, "how about the Kitty Kitty club? It's been a while since we've been to a strip club." "No," Howard bemoaned, "I promised Bernadette no more strip clubs." "Oh." Raj said dejectedly. Howard has become so whipped, he thought. "Where is she anyway?" "She's at Penny's with Amy. Apparently Amy never had a slumber party growing up so they are having one tonight." He shook his head as he said it. "Can you just imagine it? They're probably just going to sit about in their pajamas eating cookie dough and watch sappy movies all night." "Or getting into a three way," Raj joked. "Amy Farah Fowler? Yea right, I'll believe that when Sheldon loses his virginity," Howard said derisively. So they decided to watch Ironman one and two back to back. It was a good way to pass the time. "Well," Raj said after the mini marathon, "I know we can't go to a strip club but how about we just watch 'Showgirls' then? At least I will get to see some strippers that way." "Well," Howard mused, "she didn't say anything about seeing strippers, just not visiting their club. Alright, I'm in." Raj quickly got out the Blu-ray and popped it into the machine, got them both another drink and sat down next to his friend. "Elizabeth Berkley is so hot in this film!" "I know, and totally shaved! When she gives Gina Gershon that lap dance I think I'm going to pop my cork every time." Howard replied without thinking and feeling self-conscious for admitting that he looked over at Raj, but he wasn't looking back. I guess he didn't hear me, Howard thought, thank God! Raj did hear though, and he filed it away for later consideration. Two hours and three drinks a piece later Howard turned to Raj. "Every time I see that movie I end up with the same thought. Gods but that's a crappy movie!" "I know," Raj replied getting up from the couch. "NC-17, my ass, it's all titillation and no balls! I always just end up wanting to watch a porno, you know, I want to see the real thing instead of that giant tease of a movie." "Well, why don't we," Howard suggested after finishing his beer. "I'm sure you have a good stash around here somewhere." Raj took the last pull on his own drink while thinking about what Howard said. That's not a bad idea, he thought fuzzily. "You got it. I'll grab a good one and you get me another cooler, would you?" he then quickly went into his small chest he kept next to the Plasma and pulled out the first one, it was an all girl film. No, he decided, I've been teased enough. Oh, here's a good one, 'Share and share alike' it was called. He took it out of the box and placed it into the player. "This one is great," he told Howard as he took his drink from him. "It's so hot I can never get past the first scene." "Works for me," Howard replied as they both sat on the couch. "This won't take long then." "That's what she said." Raj joked. "Oh haha, very funny. I'll have you know that I can wear Bernadette out." "Right," Raj said doubtfully as he grabbed the remote and pushed play. "I'm just going to fast forward through all the preamble crap." Upon reaching the beginning of the first scene he hit play and leaned back. This is going to be fun, he thought with his head buzzing from all the alcohol. It was your typical fair; a slim bleached blond woman sat on a couch with her muscled, dark haired, boyfriend, making out. Soon their clothes began to come off and the woman got down on her knees between her boyfriends legs and started sucking his rather impressive cock. She was taking long slow strokes with her hand when she wasn't taking the whole nine inches down her throat. The man was groaning and running his hands through her hair. Then the camera panned toward the door to the apartment and to a window that was next to it. In that window a man was watching the pair. It cut to a shot of the man outside who started to lower his pants and took out his own large cock and started to stroke it. "You weren't kidding," Howard said while not taking his eyes from the screen. "This is hot." So, Howard is into the voyeuristic thing too, Raj thought and tucked that into the back of his mind as well. He snuck a peek at Howard out of the corner of his eye and saw a rather nice bulge forming in his lime green slacks. It looked like he wasn't kidding about being able to give it to Bernadette good. Oh Bernadette, how he longed after that woman, with her long blonde hair, petite body and giant tits. He knew that she was his best friend's girlfriend but he didn't care, he wanted to fuck her so bad that it often hurt. And with the thoughts of Bernadette along with the hot action on the screen he was getting a raging hard-on himself. He thought about pushing it down but he didn't want Howard to think he was trying to rub one out. By this time in the movie, the boyfriend was taking the little blonde from behind, doggie style, their grunts and groans and the continued back shots to the voyeur outside the window, whose pants were not down to his ankles and he was stroking his cock hard and fast, were starting to affect Raj even more. The whole thing turned Raj on so much, even more that usual he realized, with Howard right next to him on the couch. It added that much more of a taboo element to it all. Normally by now Raj would be half way to cumming all over his chest but it was all he could do to not even touch his raging cock. He stole another glance over at Howard; his pants were completely tented now. Christ, it must be at least seven inches, he marveled. He could see that Howard was having trouble as well the way his hands were twitching. He wants to rub it so bad; I wonder how long he can go before he excuses himself to the bathroom to rub it out, He thought. I hope he does it soon; I need to jerk it myself. On the screen the two lovers were just finishing up. That is to say he had pulled out of her and was in the process of cumming all over her face, with her mouth open like a baby chick begging to be fed. This was usually the point that Raj popped his own cork. That was why what happened next took him completely by surprise. He was so drunk he lost track of how long he was taking his peek at Howard that he jumped when Howard said, "Hey, tag-team. I didn't see that coming." Raj looked back to the movie and saw that the voyeur was now inside the apartment, naked and kissing the blonde. "You know, she looks a little like Bernadette," Raj blurted out. "Woaw! What the hell, where did that come from," Howard asked harshly. Raj looked back to Howard and defended himself, "What? She does." "Are you out of your mind?" "No, she does look like her. She's short, blonde has giant boobs and is pretty like Bernadette." "You have the hots for my girlfriend don't you?" "Of course not," Raj responded adamantly. "Oh, this is just great. It explains so much," Howard disgustedly turned back to the TV. "I am sick and tired of... oh my God..." Raj turned to see what caught Howard's attention and his jaw dropped. Both the boyfriend and the girlfriend were on their knees in front of the stranger, taking turns sucking his dick. He had never seen anything like it and it was turning him on even more and that shocked him. He couldn't look away. Without thinking he started to rub his cock through his pants. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the fact that he hadn't gotten laid in over a year, but at that moment, he wanted to be that guy. Not the stranger getting blown. No he wanted to be the boyfriend sucking dick. The girlfriend had now acquiesced and let him take total control of that wonderful piece of meat while she sat on the couch playing with herself. The boyfriend was stroking with one hand while sucking the head, making loud slurping sounds. And with his other he was playing with the strangers balls and fingering his ass. Oh my God but I need that right now, Raj thought and took a quick look over at Howard who had pressed his cock down on his thigh and was stroking it heavily. God I want that so bad. Raj, his mind fuzzed by the alcohol and his over amped sex drive, then did the unthinkable. He reached out and stroked Howard's cock thru his pants. Howard freaked out. "What the hell!" "Come on, you're as turned on by this as I am," Raj replied; now firmly stroking his friends cock. When Howard didn't reply he slipped off the couch and got down between Howard's legs. "Are you crazy? What are you doing?" Howard asked all breathless and shaking. "Shut up. You know what I'm doing." While looking Howard in the eye, Raj then reached up, loosened Howard's belt, undid the button on this top of his pants, took hold of the zipper and slowly lowered it. "You know you want this as bad as I do." He felt a thrill go through him as he knew he was right when Howard lifted his ass up off the couch slightly so Raj could pull down his pants and Spiderman boxers. As his pants and underwear reached Howards mid thigh, his cock sprang up out of them like a jack-in-a-box and slapped against his stomach. Raj ripped the pants down to Howard's ankles, quickly reached up and grasped Howards cock. It felt so much like his own, yet so different as well. He slowly stroked it up and down. A pearl of pre-cum began to ooze from the head, so he leaned forward and licked up like a cat. Howard shuddered. It tasted so good, sweet yet salty. Raj could wait no longer; he took that lovely cock into his mouth. It was like a hot piece of iron covered in velvet and it tasted amazing. He worked his tongue along the underside while sucking hard; he wanted to taste more of that pre-cum. Taking a cue from the movie, Raj used his right hand to stroke Howard's cock as he sucked and took his left and began to fondle his balls. Howard moaned. On inspiration Raj quickly stopped massaging the balls and brought his left hand up to his mouth. Taking is mouth momentarily off that lovely dick; Raj licked the middle finger, coating it with saliva, and then went back to sucking Howard's cock, taking it as deep as he could. He lowered his left hand back to Howard's balls and circled his ass with his slick digit before ever so slowly pushing it up Howard's ass. Howard groaned and thrashed about like a man possessed. This was the most amazing thing Raj had ever experienced and he didn't want it to end. The only thing he wanted at that moment was to make his friend cum. They were both so into their new experience that neither of them heard the gentle knock at the door, nor the second a moment later. They didn't even hear the door open and they didn't hear the diminutive voice softly call out if anyone was home. What they did hear was that normally small voice, shout. "What the hell is going on here?" The cock made an audible pop as it slipped from Raj's mouth when he looked up at the shout and saw Bernadette standing in the doorway with her mouth agape. She quickly closed her mouth and quipped, "metro sexual my ass." She left the doorway and entered the room, closing the door behind her. Raj began to scramble to his feet but was stopped by a shout from Bernadette. "No! You get your ass back down there. I wouldn't want to interrupt you two." The then turned, locked the door, and turned back with a smile. "In fact I insist. I want to see every moment of this." When Howard started to get up and say something, she pointed her finger at him and yelled. "You shut up!" then pointed back at Raj, "And you, get back to sucking that cock." She slowly approached them and Raj did as he was told, he slid back to his haunches. He reached out and took Howard's cock again, looked Bernadette in the eye and with a smile, slowly took his best friend's tasty dick into his mouth and sucked hard. Howard closed his eyes, thrashed and moaned. "Yea, that's it; suck that cock you dirty boy," she purred in her diminutive voice. She was clutching at one of her large tits through her fussy sweater with her right hand and with her left she was rubbing her pussy through her short pink skirt. "Oh yea baby," she cooed. "You like sucking his wonderful dick; I can see it in your eyes." Howard again piped up, pleading for forgiveness. "Please honey, UHG, you know I love you, OH GOD." He thrashed again and his hands reached out and grasped Raj's head but Raj shook him off, he didn't want to lose his eye contact with the lovely Bernadette. "Be quite, honey." She said matter-of-factly. "Your friend is giving you a wonderful gift. Just lie back and enjoy it." She then lifted her skirt and Raj saw that she wasn't wearing any panties. Her pussy was wet and swollen. Her fingers danced across her clit and labia, then she plunged two fingers of her other hand into herself. She shuddered lustily. Howard opened his eyes and looked at her. She was a goddess of lust; her blonde hair was in disarray, her chest was heaving, her fingers were deep in her pussy and her eyes were ablaze with lustful exuberance. Howard could take no more. With a grunt, his balls clenched and he came. The blast of cum took Raj a bit by surprise but he drank it down with abandon. He reveled in the taste, salty and slightly bitter, but it was amazing. Raj drank down almost all of it, but with his inebriated state he was aggressively charged. He quickly stood, stepped to Bernadette, took her in his arms and kissed her, sharing her man's cum with her. Their tongues danced, his hands caressed her tits and she moaned into his mouth. Their kiss lasted less than a minute before Howard began to weakly protest as he was coming out of his orgasmic daze. Bernadette gently, but firmly, pushed Raj away. "Let's not get greedy now, Raj my dear." She then caressed his cheek, "We have all night." She slowly walked around the back of the couch and ran her fingers through Howard's hair. "Come on, boys. Let's take this into the bedroom." She reached around behind her as she sashayed toward Raj's room, and unzipped her skirt, letting it fall to the floor. She stopped at the doorway, her bare ass slightly red as if it had been repeatedly spanked not long before. "Well, come on you two. I've had my fill of eating pussy tonight and now I need to get fucked." She giggled and entered the room. Howard and Raj looked at each other. "Did she just say what I think she did?" they said in unison. "Dude, her ass is all red like someone's been spanking it." Raj said excitedly. "You don't suppose..." "That their slumber party became a SLUMBER PARTY?" Howard said with a childish smile. "HOWARD! RAJ! GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE!" Bernadette yelled from the bedroom. They both scrambled to do as they were told, Raj getting there first, as Howard had to kick off his pants or he'd fall on his face. Raj stopped at the doorway and was amazed by what he saw. Bernadette had turned the rooms overhead light to show off her now naked glory. Her hair hung about her shoulders and her glasses were on the side table. She was lying on her back with the pillows piled up behind her, pinching one of her erect pick nipples with one hand and again fingering herself with the other. "Well what are you waiting for sweetie?" she said to Raj. "Strip out of those clothes and get over here and fuck me like you've always wanted to." Howard pushed Raj into the room. "What do you mean you want him to fuck you?" Howard asked in disbelief. "What do you mean 'like he always wanted to'?" "Oh hush, Howie." She said sweetly. "We all know that Raj has been in love with me for a long time now." She held up a hand to forestall Howard's angry burst. "You know it's true, honey, but you don't have to worry. I love you and you know that. You're my little Howie bear. And I want him to fuck me because his cock is about to tear through his slacks and we both know that you're not going to get heard again for several minutes. And I need to get fucked now!" She turned to look at Raj. "Come on now honey. I care for you deeply and always will but I'm not in love with you. But I do want you to fuck me for all your worth and this may be your only chance." Raj quickly shed his clothes and Bernadette seemed to drink in the sight of his golden, tan skin and her eyes widened and she smiled at the sight of his thick seven inches of Indian dick. Howard handed him a condom he had pulled from his pans that he was holding. Raj grinned at his friend and began slowly stroke his dick as he approached the bed, before opening the package and rolling the rubber onto it. He mounted the bed and crawled up between her open legs. Her pussy was dripping wet and he could smell her light, lusty aroma. He crawled up her body, lightly kissing her tummy then breasts as he did and then gave her another passionate kiss. Breaking the kiss, he sat back on his haunches in-between her legs, with his cock just inches away from her pussy. "How bad do you want this," he asked playfully. "Badly," she replied with a playful whimper. "How badly" He asked, his dick was now rubbing up and down her wet slit. "So badly," she pleaded. "Oh fuck me, please fuck me baby." "Oh yea, you want me to fuck you?" "Put that fucking cock in me, already!" The yell shocked Raj for a moment but he shook his head and with a grin he plunged his dick into her. She groaned deeply. "Oh God I needed that." He slowly pulled his cock out until only the head was still in before slamming it back into her. She grunted and moaned with each thrust. He leaned down and bit her neck, continuing his assault on her sweet, sweet pussy. It was all he had imagined and more. Her face was a mask of lust and her grunts drove his ardor. "Howie," she panted between her moans, patting the bed next to them. "Bring 'Little Howie' up here so I can bring him back to life." Raj felt the bed move as his friend climbed on. He pulled away from sucking her neck to look to his left but didn't let up his thrusting in and out of the angel beneath him. He watched as Howard crawled up right next to them, bringing his now slowly hardening cock up to Bernadette's mouth where she took it between her lips. The room was filled with the sounds and smells of sex, Raj grunting, Bernadette moaning, Howard groaning. Raj was going crazy as he fucked the woman of his dreams and watched her suck his best friends cock only inches away from his face. It was driving him wild, seeing Howards cock slide in and out of her luscious lips as he fucked her. He wanted to experience more, so he leaned forward ad licked his cock as it slid from her mouth. "Oh, you want more of Little Howie, do you? Go ahead, suck him again. I want to see how long you last sucking and fucking at the same time," she chuckled as she began to clench her pussy, grasping his cock with each thrust. He didn't last long. Within less than a minute he trembled, grunted and came; Bernadette shuddered and came with him. Bernadette glowed in the aftermath of her orgasm but her still burned with lust. She wanted more. She looked at Howard's still rock hard cock bobbing in front of her face and then looked at Raj. "You know Raj," she purred, "it's not exactly fair that you got to fuck me but you have no girlfriend for Howie to fuck." Banging Big Time Is No Theory Ch. 02 Howard quipped. "Well, I could always fuck Penny." "No, I just had Penny's sweet pussy and I want' to have her again. And I'm sorry honey, but I just don't want to share her with you." she replied earnestly, and then smiled wickedly. "No, I think you should get to fuck Raj instead." Raj's face lit up, "Oh my God! You were just with Penny? That is so hot." Then he paused, "wait, what was that second part?" "You heard me, sweetie. Now slide down that bed; you can eat my pussy while he takes your sweet ass." Howard began to protest. "Uh, honey, I'm not sure that I..." "Oh hush, you want his cherry and we all know it." She gently pushed him down the bed and gave him a big slap in his ass. "Go on sweetheart, show him with Little Howie can do when you put your heart into it." She looked back at Raj and asked, "Honey, do you have any lube?" Raj was hesitantly sliding down the bed, "Yes, I've some Astroglide in my bedside table." He was scared but incredibly excited. One at the end of the bed he hung his legs over the edge until they were just hitting the floor and now soft cock sat right on the edge. Bernadette slid down the bed as well so that her pussy was right below Raj's face. "Ok, sweetie, eat up. No need to wait on Howie, he'll get to you as soon as he can, believe me." Raj leaned forward and did just that. He had so longed to taste Bernadette's treasure box and now that it was right in front of him he didn't want to wait to taste of its golden haired goodness. He started by licking her pussy from the very bottom, and going slowly up till he flicked the clit with the tip of his tongue. She squeaked with delight. He then wanted to tease her a little by biting her inner thigh and was surprised by seeing several hickey marks already there. He looked up at her, grinning from ear to ear. "It's true, isn't it? You were just fooling around with Penny!" She returned the smile and purred her response. "That's right, sexy. I tasted out precious Penny's perfect pussy and it was amazing." She then added nonchalantly, "Amy thought it was perfect too. And I must say for a mousy girl she's got a great tasting pussy and she knows how to return the favor with fervor." Howard and Raj's heads both snapped up at her announcement, "Amy Farrah fowler?!" "Yes," she said with a grin before snapping at them. "Now you Raj get to eating and you Howard get to fucking!" Raj did as he was bid. He went back to eating his fine meal. Less than a minute later he felt Howard's hand on his ass, followed by the application of the cool jell to his ass. He shuddered and then moaned as he felt Howard's finger slide into his hole, first one, then two. He groaned louder into Bernadette's pussy as Howard began to saw his fingers in and out, finger fucking his ass, loosening him up. "That's it, baby," she purred. "Now remember to take it slow like you did when you took my cherry. We want this to be a pleasure he'll ever forget." He felt Howard remove his fingers and a moment later something larger now resting at his entrance. Raj shuddered. Howard pressed forward and Raj felt the head of his cock slowly open up his hole. Raj expected it to be painful but it was more of shock but as Howard began to push he began to feel the pain he flinched and whimpered into Bernadette's pussy. "Take it easy, Howie, nice and slow. Give our poor boy a chance to get used to it," she cooed, in her sexy, mousey voice. She petted Raj's head. "It's okay, honey, he'll go slowly. Just bear down and let it in." Raj nodded his head and did as she asked. Again he felt Howard slowly sink his cock in and this time it went much more smoothly. He began to feel Howard fill him up. He suddenly realized that Howard had stopped pushing, "Keep going, it's okay I can take it." "That's all of it, I'm in," Howard said "See baby, I knew you could do it," Bernadette said to Raj. "Now Howie is going to start fucking you and I need you to go back to your job of eating my pussy. Make me cum, honey." She pushed his face back into her sweet pussy. Raj went back to licking her pretty, pink lips. The taste was driving him mad, it was so good. She squeaked whenever he flicked his tongue across her clit. He did his best to concentrate on what he was doing but it wasn't easy as Howard slowly drew out his cock until it was almost out and then reversed his course and pushed it all the way back in. It was nothing like what Raj expected. It wasn't as painful as he'd heard but neither was it as pleasurable, it was just a feeling of being full along with sense of anticipation. Then Howard began to pick up his pace. In and out, harder and harder, he began to fuck Raj like a Wildman. "That's it, Howie, fuck that ass." Bernadette growled as she pulled Raj's face harder into her pussy. It was starting to happen for Raj, he could feel it. Howard's assault on his ass was taking its toll on his prostrate and he began to feel it. He could feel cum begin to ooze from his own cock and he started to moan and groan into Bernadette's pussy. The added vibrations from his voice along with his tongue and lips were starting to draw her toward her own orgasm. Then it happened, Raj felt the most amazing feeling emanating from his ass. He quivered and quaked, then threw up his head and grunted as he came, his semen spraying all over the side of the bed. Raj's ass clamped down on Howard's cock and that was all it took for Howard as he too came. He slammed his cock into his best friend's ass and shuddered, filling the condom. The sight of her men writhing in orgasm drove her crazy. Raj's head had snapped up as he came so she took matters into her own hands. She flicked her fingers of her clit with one hand and sunk two fingers of her other hand into her soaking wet pussy, sending her into her own orgasmic bliss. As Howard's dick popped out of Raj's ass he had another mini-orgasm. He shuddered and smiled. He crawled up onto the bed and lay down next to Bernadette. He now loved her even more than ever. His best friend Howard laid on her other side and they both snuggled up to her. Raj slowly began to drift to sleep as Bernadette gently caressed his head and kissed his forehead. The last thing he heard before succumbing to exhaustion was her so sweet voice. "That's it baby's, sleep. I guess it's no longer an ersatz relationship like Leonard's mom said. This is something more. I think this is the start of something wonderful."