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Tess

By: TWEIN



Tess and Marie rented the motel room and settled in to wait, watching a rerun of M*A*S*H. Marie, thirty-two but looking younger, wore her golden hair in long curls. She lay back on the bed, absent-mindedly smoking a menthol cigarette and sipping sherry. She wore skin-tight jeans that accentuated her best feature, her round hips and full bottom, and a checkered blouse, with two buttons undone, revealing the top of a simple white brassiere and the cleavage of her high-set apple-sized breasts. 

Tess sat bolt upright in a chair, visibly tense, and watched the show with almost exaggerated concentration, as if trying to shut something out of her mind. 

She was a slight, brown-haired woman in her late twenties, very white, with a small, thin mouth, small chin, narrow shoulders, and long, delicate hands. She seemed to have almost no breasts at all. A high- collared white silk blouse and long blue skirt combined with her tightly wound bun and conspicuous lack of makeup to give the effect of a Protestant upbringing. 

The contrast between the two was remarkable. Jobs as secretaries in the same office was, in fact, about all that they had in common. 

At about seven Walt and I arrived with a grocery sack. Marie greeted us cheerfully, stubbed out the end of her smoke, and bounced over to check out the contents of the sack. Tess studiously watched the television. "Oooh, nice!" said Marie, lifting out several short lengths of black velvet rope. "These will do nicely. And this," she added, lifting out a pink strap-on dildo, "is very nice. Don't you think so, Tess?" Tess actually stole a glance from the corner of her eye, but quickly ducked her head, and I could see a bit of a blush around her ear. 

Marie reached for the control box and switched off the TV. "Thank you, dear boys, for bringing these along. You are always so helpful. The reason I asked you to meet us here tonight, is that dear Tess here has made a contract which she must fulfill--isn't that right, Tess?" Tess, looking at the floor, gave a slight nod. 

Marie put her arms across my shoulders and laced her fingers together. "And you are the very men I thought of to help fulfill the contract. Tess, here, has been making the office very unhappy with her stuck-up ways, and we all think she needs a little retraining. But there's been no opportunity till now; and now she owes a very large sum for some financial assistance we in the pool gave her with her poor wayward brother, and we all agreed to forego repayment if she'd agree to a little --umm-- humiliation." 

Tess crossed her arms and looked up at me for the first time. Her brown eyes looked like those of a frightened deer. I found this very attractive, and I felt a warm stirring in my crotch. 

Marie looked down at Tess understandingly. "They're all right, Tess. Clean and gentlemanly, not too much into pain and never leave marks. You all know the rules. No one talks but me, and we all do exactly whatever I say." 

Marie leaned across to Walt, and I felt the pressure of her breasts against my chest. She turned her pale, slightly freckled face up to his, which was the deep, almost purplish brown of a proud and unmixed African heritage, and put her hand on the back of his head, pulling him into a deep, tongue-tasting kiss. 

The throbbing bump in the front of my trousers was pressed against her lower belly, and she did a slow grind with her hips that made me think I might come in my pants. I wrapped my arms around her back, snuggling her body in close against mine, and we all fell across the bed, with Marie on top of me. Marie raised herself up with her hands on the bed on either side of me, and I reached up to touch the curve of her right breast. Walt did the same with her left, squeezing gently. She laughed and backed away, standing up. "Slow down, dear boys, I'm not even the main course. Make yourselves comfortable right there." 

I sat up and settled back against the headboard with a couple of pillows behind me, wondering what would happen next. Marie poured a glass of sherry and handed it to me. I sipped, and watched as she poured another glass for Walt. "Tess here is so religious. Doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't chase boys -- or girls -- votes pro-life, goes to church all the time -- not that she's a virgin, mind you. Her straight-laced little husband would die if he knew she were here. Quite the deacon, that one. Only knows one position, and they barely ever touch each other, right, Tessie?" 

Tess, who was sitting facing the blank television screen with her hands demurely folded in her lap, looked up at Marie almost angrily. Then, as though resigning herself to her fate, slowly swept her quiet eyes over Walt and me, and nodded. 

Marie stepped back over to the bed. "Well, gentlemen, why don't you both stand up and I'll help you out of your clothes, and you can show Miss Priss here what a white knight and a black knight look like with their pricks standing straight out in front of them, hmm?" We needed no further urging. Walt and I stood in front of the now wide-eyed Tess as Marie busied herself about us, removing shirts, pants, jockey shorts, and the like, making a neat pile which she carried over to one corner. 

Tess's eyes went to Walt, and I must confess mine did as well. Walt is tall and wide-shouldered, with a salt-and pepper goatee, extremely dark skin, as I said before, and has kindly but penetrating eyes. His hips are narrow for his build, but his penis is disproportionately large - not in width, but in length, like a black snake. Unlike mine, his is not circumcised, and it hung at a downward angle, like a naked tail with puckered skin at the tip, ten inches at least. Walt's one affectation is shaving his crotch, and no hair at all impeded our view of his deep sac, with one testicle hanging unbelievably lower than the other. 

Tess had clearly never seen anything like it, and seemed visibly shaken. She crossed her arms and seemed to hug herself apprehensively. My own rather run-of-the-mill prong was thumping away, veins engorged, and I ached for relief--but I knew that Marie's ideas ran to long, excruciating foreplay, and that I would have to wait--and that the wait would probably be worth every minute. 

Tess now looked me over, and I could see in her eyes what I already knew: I am a balding, slightly pudgy and pale middle-aged bureaucrat of middle height and strength, nowhere as interesting as Walt, but I'm told, by Marie and others like her, that I have redeeming qualities, especially in the clit-tongueing department. This gives me a certain confidence, and I could see that Tess was woman enough to sense it. Whatever it was these two females had in mind, we were probably the right men for the job. 

Marie returned and picked up the velvet ropes. "Now, gentlemen, we will tie up Miss Priss here in a vulnerable position. Walt, please get one of those pillows here, and put it on the floor here--Tess, stand up. Bud, turn the chair around, please. Now, Tess, kick off your shoes and kneel on the pillow. That's right, just put your feet back under the chair; Bud, push the chair back up against Tess's back, gently. Good, now, Walt, tie this around her right wrist, and pass it around the chair and Bud will do her left wrist, and I'll go around and tie her ankles to the chair legs. Put your arms back, Tess." Tess meekly did as she was told, and was soon securely trussed in an upright kneeling posture. 

Marie knelt on the chair and deftly removed the pins from Tess's bun; the hair caught the light as it fell, a rich brown. With a couple of hair ties Marie quickly did up the hair into a pony tail to keep it out of Tess's face. All this while Walt and I stood around in front of Tess, who was eyeball-to-balls with our straining dongs and unable to move away, if that's what she would have done. She was mouth-breathing in little panicky gasps, and her slight bosom rose and fell with her rapid, shallow breaths. 

Marie, still playing with the ponytail, leaned over her shoulder and checked her out. "Oh dear, Miss Priss is getting nervous. She needs a drink to calm down. Bud, can you get her a glass of something?" I stepped over to the table and found a bottle of sherry, a bottle of amaretto brandy, and a six-pack of beer. I chose the amaretto, poured a fairly large amount into a wine glass, and walked over to Tess. 

Marie stepped around and sat on the bed, and began unbuttoning her blouse. She continued to give out orders, and now her voice began to get husky. "Since you gentlemen are making her nervous, why don't you both get down on her level for awhile." We knelt in front of the slim Tess. "Now, Bud, give her the drink, and make sure she gets most of it." I held the glass to Tess's lips. She would have backed her head away, but the chair back was right behind it; she considered turning her head, but a glance at Marie made her changed her mind. She inclined her head and tried to sip a little from the glass, but I kept tipping it up, and to keep the brandy from escaping round the corners of her mouth and ruining her blouse, she began to swallow the amaretto as fast as she could manage. My hand began to tremble, and I raised the glass faster, watching in fascination as the richly-colored amaretto ran down her small chin and dripped onto the white lace-trimmed front of her blouse, just above the slight bumps made by her breasts. Tess flinched, but kept drinking till the glass was empty. As I took it away, she gasped for air, and seemed to hang almost limply in her bonds. 

I turned to look at Marie. She had shucked her checkered blouse and raised her arms to flounce her hair, and Walt, who leaned on her knee, was caressing her belly and cupping her breasts, which were still in the bra. Marie shook out her hair and reached down to briefly run her hands over Walt's large frame, then reached back to unhook her bra. She slipped it off her shoulders, and leaned forward, offering Walt a nipple to suck, which he took greedily. Then, pulling back just in time to control herself (and us), Marie issued new orders. "Could someone get me my cigarettes?" Walt stood up and stepped over to the night table. He returned with the pack of smokes and lighter, tapped out a cigarette and handed it to Marie, who mouthed it and waited for Walt to hold the lighter for her. She took a long drag and blew the smoke toward Tess. 

Tess tried to keep a straight face, but quickly gave it up and turned her head away. Marie leaned forward. "No, no, my dear, a contract is a contract. Walt, give the lady a smoke, that's my good man." Walt tapped out another cigarette and held it out to Tess's face. She gingerly took it in her mouth and held it there, making a strange picture of defenselessness, kneeling on the pillow, twisting her wrists in the velvet ropes along the chair arms. I took the lighter from Walt and struck it alight with one hand, turning Tess's chin toward it with the other, till the end of the cigarette met the flame. She closed her eyes. "Drag on it a little, Miss Priss," said Marie. Don't keep the poor gentleman waiting." The end of the cigarette glowed, and Tess immediately coughed. I took the cigarette from her mouth, and when she had caught her breath, offered it to her again. She made a game try this time, sipping enough smoke into her mouth, and expelling it again, to smoke without choking. I took it from her and tapped it into the nearby ashtray, and gave it to her again. 

When about half the cigarette was gone, Marie, who had been fooling about with Walt, put out hers, and allowed Tess's to be ground out in the ashtray. The room was almost blue with smoke. 

Marie stepped over to the table and wriggled out of her jeans. She slipped her panties down over her wide, curvy hips, and dropped them to the floor. Walt stepped up behind her and reached around both sides of her torso, beneath her arms, and gently lifted her white breasts in his large black hands for Tess and me to admire. 

Marie picked up the strap-on dildo and began expertly to put it on, with Walt making adjustments at the back. She looked like a hermaphrodite with a permanent erection. "Now we gotta get serious," she said. "Bud, check out Miss Priss's bra and see if she's got any tits." 

I turned to Tess, who was now obviously blushing, and tremblingly fumbled at the brooch that clasped the high collar of her blouse at her throat. The brooch was hard to unclasp, and made trouble, but I soon laid it aside and went to work at the buttons down her front. Pulling the blouse open to the sides, I found a simple white A- cup brassiere with a front hook hidden in a lace rosette. Almost faint with desire, I undid the hook, and two small but clearly very adult breasts popped into my hands. I felt the nipples harden in my sweating palms, and Tess's rapidly pounding pulse seemed to hammer away in the soft flesh that just filled my cupping hands. Marie stepped up and knelt beside me. "Now, Bud, don't hog them, we have to share." 

She held her right hand, palm up, in front of Tess's mouth. "Spit. Spit lots." Tess obeyed, and, pursing up her lips, spat a tiny puddle of clear liquid into Marie's hand. A string of spittle ran down her chin. Marie cupped the spit-lubricated palm over Tess's left breast, and gently caressed her nipple. I held my left hand under Marie's mouth, and she smiled and spat in it, and I reached across and caressed Tess's right breast in the same way. Walt knelt behind Marie, and massaged Marie's more ample breasts from behind. Tess, all this while, tried to hold completely still and unresponsive, but we could all see that somewhere deep inside, a knotted-up pleasure center was coming undone. 

"Well Walt," said Marie huskily, "It's time to begin." She disentangled herself and went around behind Tess, kneeling on the chair. She steadied herself with one hand and took a firm grip at the base of Tess's ponytail with the other. I sat on the bed in the spot with the best possible view. 

Walt stood before Tess's face in all his live-snake-with-balls glory, and, taking hold of his penis at the base, raised it before her now wide-open and somewhat dismayed eyes. Pulling his fingers back down the base of the shaft, he exposed the head of his glans, and gave her a few moments to savor the unique smell. At this moment Marie pulled back the ponytail sharply, causing Tess to gasp -- and Walt slipped comfortably into her small mouth in that unguarded moment. 

"Now, Miss Priss," said Marie, leaning down till her breasts brushed the back of Tess's head, "Do just like I told you back in the car. Don't try to suck or anything you've heard about; just stay loose and wet and let the man do his work, hmm?" Tess managed a tiny bit of a nod, even with her hair held tight and the long black penis planted three inches into her face. 

Walt began to slowly roll his hips. Putting his hands behind his back, he leaned back and moved his pelvis forward, so that the now-glistening shaft of his rod eased deeper into Tess's mouth. Her lips were tight around him, but I could see that she was holding her teeth out of the way, letting him ride on her tongue and on the saliva that must now be pouring into her full mouth. Walt pumped very slowly, but with a steady rhythm, never going too deep, so as not to choke the totally inexperienced little Baptist, but never slipping all the way out, either. 

This went on for what seemed like a very long time, and my eyes began to rove. Marie's face was flushed, her lips parted, and her nipples, which dangled just above Tess's head, were distended and full. Sweat beaded across Walt's shoulders and ran down, pool in the small of his back. Tess's cheeks alternately puffed and hollowed as the black rod slid in and out through her lips. Sometimes she closed her eyes, and sometimes she looked up at Walt. When she did this it seemed to energize him, and his movements became more rapid. 

I leaned forward for a closer look, and at this moment Walt, with a grunt, pulled back and his penis, the reddish-brown end of which rested against Tess's cheek, seemed to explode. White goop, the consistency of heavy carpenter's glue, erupted onto her cheek and ran slowly down. Shaking all over, like a thoroughbred at the end of a race, but still in control, Walt aimed at her half-open (and probably numb) mouth, and erupted a second shot into it, and onto her nose and chin as well. A third spurt missed her face and plopped wetly onto her throat, running down between her heaving little breasts, and a fourth hit her in the forehead, and oozed down onto the bridge of her nose. He now pointed back at her small cum-smeared mouth, and gently but insistently wedged back in between her lips, going in about three inches, and stood, with his balls still leaping, the pulsating black shaft apparently still unloading semen inside Tess's head. A movement of her throat confirmed this, as she was clearly swallowing. 

After a long, still moment, Walt slid his saliva-and-semen-slicked meat out of Tess's mouth and used it to smear gobs of come around on her cheeks. Marie let go of the ponytail and stepped round in front of Tess, and knelt in front of Walt. Caressing his long penis with her right hand, she guided it to her own wide mouth, and took it inside for a few moments, then pulled back her head. Walt's now somewhat limper organ made a wet plopping sound as it popped out. 

Marie smiled. "Well, boys," she said, almost in a whisper, "That was fun to watch but I feel left out of things. Bud, you lie belly down on the bed here where Miss Priss can see your bottom. Walt, you can rest a bit, but we'll want you ready to get back in action real soon now. Oh, could you pass me the Vaseline there on the nightstand?" I craned my head around to look at Marie with a raised eyebrow. She raised her arms to flounce her hair, a gesture that made her breasts especially pert, and laughed. 

"Now, now, Mr. Bud! Next Wednesday you get to be Master, and I'll do just as you wish. But fair is fair." She dipped her fingers in the jar. "After all, you've been in my behind, and you seemed to be really enjoying yourself there." She seemed to be masturbating the dildo, and I knew she was lubricating it for a specific purpose. "Now, Mr. Bud, please turn your head. I embarrass easily when I'm trying something new. Spread your feet a bit, please. Now reach back and spread your cheeks, too, that's a good lad." I suddenly felt her cool fingers, liberally laced with the petroleum jelly, between my buttocks, exploring the entrance to my rectum. Marie carefully inserted her middle finger, wiggled it about, and withdrew. I then felt the tip of her lubricated rubber cock nosing its way into my --I'll admit it-- virgin ass. Marie may not have done this before, but she seemed to have some idea--from watching videos? of how to go about it. 

The dildo eased its way up into me, not too painfully, giving me a rather full and not unpleasurable sensation, until I could feel Marie's hips against my buttocks. She began to bump and grind, and I could feel the shaft of the dildo sliding in and out through my distended anus. 

I stole a glance at Tess. She hung in harness from the chair, still kneeling on the pillow, staring in mixed revulsion and fascination at the reversed-sex doggie sex proceeding right in front of her eyes. Her blouse had been shoved back, exposing her shoulders and long neck, and her bra straps hung over her upper arms. her chest and belly were fully exposed, and drying semen glittered on her forehead, nose, cheeks, lips, chin, throat, in the valley between her breasts, and in one spot to the right of her navel. 

The sight of her watching me being butt-raped by Marie made my dong, which had shrunk when I learned Marie's intentions, stand to full attention again, and I began to think I might come right there on the bedclothes. At this moment Marie let up her movements and withdrew. 


Tess



"But, what are you doing here?"

Her entire face was glowing as she smiled at me and answered my question.

"I'm here on a cosmetics sales meeting, but what are you doing here?"

"I'm here on an annual conference meeting." came my reply while I realized that she must be just as surprised to see me as I was to see her. After all, we both lived thousands of miles away, so to meet this way was in fact a surprise to both of us. I stepped forward and hugged her tightly and inhaling deeply while burying my face in her long thick auburn hair. Feeling her arms wrapped around me and holding her close to my body felt so good, but at the same time I knew this friendly hug would end within seconds, just as it always did.

It was Friday afternoon, and the my friend from teenage years was in my arms. My thoughts rushed trying to sum up what to say, just as it always did when I met her, trying hard to remember what had happened since I saw her the last time. Then suddenly it dawned on me that we would both be staying at the conference hotel this weekend. What a great opportunity to catch up on all that had happened since our last correspondence, not having to realize afterwards that I had forgotten to mention something important.

We had met while we both were teenagers, and ever since stayed in touch through mail. We had been pen-pals for over 20 years. To begin with living in different towns, but a few years shared hometown before our work has made her move again. We both had busy lives, so naturally the letters had been less frequent the last couple of years compared to when we both were teenagers and wrote each other almost once a week, but the introduction of electronic mail had given us new opportunities to write each other more often.

She broke the hug and looked at me before she said.

"I have to go. I don't have much time before I the first scheduled lecture begins."

She walked away, carrying her two bags, and after a few steps looked at me over her shoulder which caused her hair to cascade around her face as she said.

"I'll see you soon I hope, Trey."

"Absolutely, I'm already looking forward to it, Tess." was my instantaneous reply. It was a standard answer that came without thought, which I had said to so many customers over the years. It felt so plain and boring, that I almost felt ashamed to use such words to my old friend, but to my relief she only smiled back at me before she turned her head away from me again. I watched her walk away until she was out of sight, just as graceful as ever. What a marvelous surprise to a most likely common weekend trip. I picked up my bags and smiled while I felt the rush of warmth spread through me which I felt each time I had spoken to her. Walking to my room, the same room as I had been sleeping in the last fifty times, I remembered her warm body against mine and the scent of her hair.

I had as usual given the room number when I made my reservation, and it wasn't because I wanted something luxurious, but rather because I knew where it was and also that it was at the end of a corridor, so noone would need to be running outside. Looking out the windows showed treetops and in a distance the churchtower. I unpacked the belongings I had with me, and took a shower. It was always nice to get a fresh start before the weekend of handshakes began, and laying in bed after a long shower, I watched the news on TV. It was a habit of mine, to watch the news several times a day, read information from different online websources, and think about how I could use the latest news to my benefit in my interaction with customers and members of the organization. Gazing at the laptop screen as text scrolled by I noticed news in Borneo which caught my attention. It took me nearly three hours to get ready for dinner, and by that time it was already 7:30PM. It didn't matter, I was used to eating late, and never rushed a meal. Knowing that they would probably serve some fancy three or four dish meal on Saturday, I simply decided to eat something more normal, and as the waitress brought the plate of pasta with bacon and vegetables to my table, and poured the tall glass of milk, she caught my attention again. I had almost forgotten that she was staying at the same hotel, and that I had met her in the lobby a few hours before. It was probably a natural reflex to think of it as a nice daydream, but now that I saw her again the dreaming was over, and the day too.

"May I join you?" she asked before sitting down. She didn't need to wait for my answer. There was no chance of me saying "No" to that, and as she pulled out the chair on the other side of the table, I move my hand in a fairly graceful way to show her that she was welcome to sit down.

"Are you hungry? You can order anything."

"I'll have what you are having." she said.

The waitress looked at me, and I nodded silently, before she rushed off to get another plate.

"It looked delicious. I probably wouldn't say that at home, but here it actually looks like a feast for kings."

"Or queens" I filled in. "It's actually nothing. I just like it simple before those fancy meals tomorrow. A little boiled pasta, fried bacon, cooked vegetables and vinegar to top it off."

"All that, and no fine wine?" she said with sarcasm. "I didn't even know they served something that common in this place."

"They don't, but they do have all the ingredients, so they do it for me." Changing the subject, I changed my tone of voice and said.

"So how was the lecture?"

She looked at me, as if she needed time to think about what to answer, and then leaned forward a bit and whispered.

"It was quite dull. In fact, the only rewarding thing was that I got to know that I am beautiful. Or at least that's what some of the men said as I walked by them in the corridor."

"I agree, Tess, you are beautiful."

"Thank you Trey, but it's not true. I'm a 35 year old mother of three."

"Yes, that's true, but when did that stop you from also being one of the most beautiful women i know?"

"Oh Trey, now I know you're lying, but flattery gets you far, and you always knew what to say to make me feel better."

She paused a while, and then continued.

"But that wasn't all that they said."

She looked down into her lap, and then at me with her big brown deer eyes, and flickered her eyelashes innocently. She smiled a little, and was just about to speak up again, when the waitress returned to the table. She placed the plate before Tess and poured another glass of milk, before asking "Would that be all?" I looked up replied with at simple "Yes, thank you." As I looked at Tess again, she had picked up her fork and begun eating. I also started eating from the slightly cold dish before me, while looking at her to see if she would continue where she had stopped. For a while we both sat silent and ate, until she looked at me again and whispered.

"They also said that they wouldn't mind the thought of grabbing my ass and fuck me from behind."

I almost choked on the pasta I was about to swallow, and started coughing. My eyes must have momentarily popped out of the sockets, and she waited until she had eyecontact with me before asking me the most dreadful question she had ever asked me throughout the years we had known each other.

"Do you think so too? Would you mind the thought of grabbing my ass and fuck me from behind."

"No... I mean yes... I mean no."

I didn't know what to say. All the standard replies that my mind was filled with, and came without thought, gave me no comfort in my seat as I looked at Tess and felt all warm inside. There were times when I had thought of her while masturbating, but I had always thought of her as an innocent girl, not like some naughty girl who was willingly opening up for me. I was stunned by the question, and she continued.

"I knew it, you have."

"No, honestly I haven't."

"No? What's wrong with me? Don't you find me attractive? Am I not sexy enough for your masturbation fantasies?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"So you have thought of me while doing it?"

She knew that I had always been honest with her. I had never lied to her, nor been given any reason to, so here I was in a rather awkward situation.

"Yes, I have, once or twice. But never like that?"

Trying to get some control over the conversation, I just blurted out.

"Hey, you can't ask me things like that?"

"But I already did, and you answered just as truthfully as ever, Trey. And your answers has just made me more curious to know what you have been dreaming of doing to me."

I didn't know if it was intentional, but she paused while licking her lips. And for a moment all I could see was the tip of her pink wet tongue as it slid from right to left, and then vanished into her mouth which seemed more and more tempting each passing moment. For some illogical reason, I silently waited to see her tongue appear again with my eyes fixated on her crimson red lips, and as a reward for my patience it appeared again, sliding as gracefully across her lips again as it did before.

"I see." she said, and smiled as our eyes met again, and I instantly understood how my eyes had utterly betrayed me.

"You're just as easy to read as you were when we were young, Trey. I have always known that you loved me, and that possibly some of that infatuation still lived on in you, but now I see what I have felt before." She leaned forward, and spoke a little lower. "Remember when we met outside that grocerystore a few years back? I believe it was in May and it was sunny. Before we parted, you gave me a hug, and I could feel your nipples being rock hard inside your T-shirt. I didn't understand it then, but a man's nipples are just as sensitive and responsive as a woman's. So in other words, you were aroused by my presence, and I can with my foot feel that you are now too. "

"What?"

I felt her wiggle her toes against my crotch. Somehow her voice had me so captured I lost focus of all but her delightful mouth, sparkling eyes and the angelic singing that her voice meant to my ears. I never noticed when she had placed her right foot in my lap, but it was there and resting against my hardening member inside my loose pants. I was lost for words over and over again, and reacted as I would expect any normal man would do. I took her foot in my hands in an attempt to move it away, but she looked me in the eyes and whispered.

"No, please, let me feel it. It's not as if you are the only one who has had fantasies about us."

It felt as if I was falling through the air, without any grip of the situation. Each time I thought I was about to get a hold she said something that startled me again and again. Her right foot moved slightly and it felt wonderful, but it was a huge taboo that just wasn't acceptable. We had been friends for so long and talked about all and nothing, but there was an unwritten rule that we would never talk about us being intimate, and in a matter of minutes she had crossed that line and started exploring the only area that we never came close to.

"Tell me Trey, does my foot feel good?" she whispered before placing a little of the pasta into her mouth.

"Oh God Tess stop, it's not right."

She smiled while she continued to feel my growth under her foot. Her small right foot was caressing me slowly, but the feeling was intense. Never had I felt such arousal from a minimal movement before. It was probably a combination of the risk of being spotted, the fact that it was Tess who was doing it and the fact that I had always considered her the forbidden fruit which would not be touched.

"Let's go to your room, Trey, before there is an accident neither of us could or would be willing to explain."

She took me by the hand and a stood two minutes later face to face behind the safety of the hotelroom door. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me with great intensity while pushing her body against me, and only then did I give in to the situation and started to kiss her. My hands moved through her long thick hair, across her back and down to her firm butt, which I started to knead with my strong hands. I felt her panting inside my mouth before our tongues resumed chasing each other. Her hands grabbed my head and she moved away just enough to break the kiss before she whispered to me with a hissing sound.

"You can't understand how I've longed for this moment."

I could feel her breath in my face as she spoke and then her deliciously soft lips against mine again. Our hands wandered and our clothes began to fall to the floor. She was an excellent kisser and after a few minutes of struggling with buttons, zippers, belts and sleeves, we finally stood naked in front of each other for the first time ever. Her palms found my nipples and caressed then slightly which made me moan into her mouth. She stood a step back and I could see her as she really was. Her sparkling eyes, the small breasts that she had commented that she would like to be bigger, the long legs and the unshaved heat that laid hidden between them.

"Your nipples really are that sensitive?"

It wasn't really a question, but I answered anyway.

"Yes, and having you touch them feels so good, Tess."

Quickly she moved towards me again, and placed her hands on my chest, pushing me onto the bed and at the same time teasing my sensitive nipples. I landed on my back, and she climbed on top of me, swinging her leg over my head before she lowered her pussy to my face with the words.

"Eat me. I'm so horny, I can't wait any longer. Drink my juices and lick me until I come in your face."

And my hands reached around her and grabbed hold of her round ass, and I began to whip her clit with my tongue. She let out a deep long groaning as she felt my face push against her pussy. The taste was a bit salty, but unmistakably exciting, so I brushed her slit with my tongue, from her clit to the wet fruity entrance to her cunt. I felt her take my cock in her hand and hold it while she laid on top of me receiving selfishly what I was giving. Her hot panting breath against my shaft was inspirational, and pushed me to attack her clit with my strong tongue. Loving the taste of pussy had always given me the chance of satisfying girls and women in the past, but never had I thought that I would be given the chance to satisfy my passionate, intelligent and sexy childhood friend. It was beyond my wildest imagination, which made me inhale her entire essence.

"It feels so good when you do that. God how it feels good to have your face in my pussy."

The intensity of the moment was extreme, and my reward for being persistent was to hear her comment my efforts.

"That's it, oh that's exactly right. Lick it, tease my clit, that's... yesss."

In her position with her legs spread wide, there was nothing that prevented me from reaching every part of her delicious pussy, and I could hear that she was having a difficulties to comment the sensations she was feeling, and another minute later I noticed how her pussy was getting wetter and wetter, her pussylips was thicker and after that the small but unmistakable shaking in her legs. I intensified my tongue actions even more, and moved my right hand from her butt to her soaking wet crotch and felt her steamy hot pussy inviting my fingers to enter. My index and long finger teased the opening, and it felt as if they were drawn into her, sliding without any effort deeply into her. I started wiggling my fingers inside her while my lips nibbled her clit.

"Stop, please not that, STOP."

My strong fingers continued to move inside her, and even though I could hear her wanting me to stop, I knew that it wasn't long before she would come, and I continued everything that I was doing. She was moving from side to side on top of me, but my arms held her hips in place while I continued with the sweetest thing there is in life. Her panting turned into the sound of a low siren and the pitch got higher and higher until she screamed out like a wounded animal. Her entire body shook as I continued to lick and suck her entire crotch, and her legs began squeezing against my face. I stopped for a brief moment, only to catch my breath, and her fragile voice almost hysterically screamed out.

"NO! DON'T STOP."

And as my tongue found her small hard clit, which felt like a marble, her entire body stiffened and she stopped breathing. She was there, and I moved a little and pushed my lips against my fingers which still was deep inside her, and waited for her juices to flow into my mouth. Doing so gave no stimulation on her clit, which caused her to wiggle like a worm on a hook. I pushed my chin up and rubbed it against her clit which made her explode. The river of sweet nectar filled my mouth, and I drank from her pussy as if it was a fountain. I continued even though I knew she wanted me to stop. I just couldn't get enough of tasting her juices, but all things come to an end, even those things we wished they would last forever. I stretched out my tongue, finding her clit, which caused her to spasm as if electricity was shot through her body, but soon I could feel her shifting position and slide of me. Laying next to each other naked in bed, we said nothing. Her breathing was getting slower, and I couldn't help smiling over the taste of pussy that filled my mouth. My face was coated in her lovely fluids.

"Why have we wasted all this time?" came a sobbing whisper after some time. "Why have we not done this before, over and over again?"

Tess sat up and looked me in the eyes with tears in hers.

"I hoped that you would have a thick cock, so that my pussy for once would be filled, but never had I dreamed that you would be so good at licking pussy. Just holding your cock was all I could do once you began licking me, and that has never happened to me."

She smiled, her entire face blushing, and kept her voice down as she continued. .

"Normally I suck guys off while they lick me, but you never gave me a chance. Oh God, I'm soaking wet."

She lifted up her hand, and it was glittering completely covered with juices from her pussy. She moved her hand to my cock, and began to stroke it while she looked me in the eyes.

"You do not have to suck me." I whispered while feeling the delights from her touch. "Not if you don't like it."

"Why do you say that?" she asked while her warm hand slid slowly up and down my shaft.

"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do, Tess."

She turned around and moved down between my legs without loosing her grip of me.

"I love to suck cock, especially after being licked like that. It's only fair that you should get to enjoy my mouth, just as I have enjoyed yours."

"Only if you want ..."

She leaned down and gave the tip of my cock a quick lick.

"Like I said, I hoped that you would have a thick cock. Not necessary a 8 or 9 or more inches long, but thick. It's how I'm imagined your cock would be when it's hard ever since the time I saw you sleep naked. Remember when we met during that winter camp weekend? It was in the middle of the night, and everyone was sleeping. I had been up to go to the bathroom, and when I got back I noticed that your blanket had moved to the side a bit. Enough for me to see it in the pale moonlight that came in through the windows. Everyone else had sleeping bags, but you always took a mattress and a blanket. Remember?"

She let her hands slowly slide up and down my hard cock while she was talking, and she was right. There was nothing like a 8 or so inches in her hand, but a struggling 6 inches at best, but it was quite thick. I had never though about how length and thickness would be important to women, perhaps because I never had any complaints about how I used what I had, or perhaps I might be to selfish to care what the women had felt.

"I've had a few men in my life, and some of them have had long monster cocks, and let me tell you, it can really hurt. None of them were any thick though, and it feels wonderful to have a average long cock in my hands. A cock that I know will fill me up in a way no other has done before."




Tess



She quickly licked again across the top and smiled as she saw my reaction. She repeated it again and again, smiling each time as my body gave different reactions. Then as I was expecting another lick, she placed a kiss against the tip,.and I could feel her pushing against my cock, slowly taking it into her hot mouth. She let half of my hard member slide in between her tight lips, and then she let go and smiled her great smile.

"You're horny Trey. I make you horny, and that's such an unbelievable rush. Make love to me, like you have dreamt of so many times."

She laid down next to me, and pulled me on top of her, between her spread legs, and guided my cock to her steamy hot pussy. We both moaned as we felt the first contact. My cock slid in place and slowly in. She was soaking wet which helped to minimize friction when our bodies became one. I looked into her gorgeous crying eyes as I started to slide in and out, feeling her muscles tightly grip my cock with each stroke. The sensations were so overwhelming that I wasn't able to talk. Her body was clinging to me in a way that made it intensely intimate. Her breath against my face felt so warm and embracing as our bodies continued to move in wave-like motions. Finally capable of forming a few words, I hissed silently.

"Oh Tess, it's amazing."

"Oh how I've longed for this. You're splitting me in two with your thick cock."

With each thrust the intensity in her eyes grew. At first we moved slowly, as if we both wanted to capture the moment with all our senses. Then as passion took a hold of our united body, Tess started talking dirty.

"Faster, please, faster. Let me feel you fill my pussy."

Her words made me want to please us both more, and the pace increased. With each thrust into her tight tunnel of raw lust, merely added fuel to the fire that was burning inside us. The sweet, almost innocent, friend as I knew her faded away and instead a passionate greedy woman started to evolve. Her language became more and more vulgar, and her warm whispers became a strong commanding hauling wind.

"Harder, harder, fuck me like the little whore that I am."

Driven by her words I continued at a greater pace, and I felt how she wrapped her long legs around my hips. I grabbed her wrists and pushed her arms to the bed, while pushing my hips faster and faster against hers, driving my cock deeper and deeper with each thrust. I was completely encased in the pleasure her body was giving me, breaking out in sweat as she continued to encourage me to be bolder and bolder.

"FUCK ME TREY. FUCK ME HARD!!! SHOVE ME FULL OF YOUR THICK COCK!!! "

She threw her head back as I continued to fuck her wet pussy, pounding her over and over as far as my cock would reach inside her. The fantasies of being with her was nothing compared to having her for real, and I felt how I was rushing towards the inevitable cascading end far to soon, but I couldn't hold back. I looked at her as she turned her head from side to side, and then locked her eyes in mine when she realized how close I was to cuming.

"PUMP ME FULL OF YOUR CUM, DAMN IT!!! CUM FOR ME TREY!!! LET ME FEEL YOU FILL MY..."

Suddenly I felt her entire body gripping me, clinging tightly to me, spasming and shivering, before she screamed at the top of her lungs like a banshee that just couldn't stop. The sound of her scream along with her milking muscles sent me over the ridge, and I saluted her pussy with all my white sticky juices. Trapped inside her amazing legs, my cock completely sucked in to the hilt, I emptied myself over and over again to her absolutely devouring being.

Time, along with our bodies, stood still until our sweaty bodies started to slide apart, and with a nasty sound, as if a cork was drawn from a bottle, my cock was released from her tender treat. I continued to lay over her, with my arms straight as I watched her with dim eyes relaxing her every limb, and then rolled to the side of her to join her in total relaxation. It was over in just a few minutes, and regardless how hard I tried to keep the sensations, I felt them sliding out of my body and vanish into the air in the room, filling it with the scent of our glorious fucking as a last reminder of our passion.

"That was just amazing, Tess" I whispered.

"Just wait and I'll show you what else I would like to do to you."

I felt her hand reaching for my soft cock, and while she held it she said.

"This cock is going to get my special treats many times this weekend. Just holding it like this is mouthwatering." 



Tess



It's not surprising that I grew up a tomboy. My mother died from complications while giving birth to my younger brother, leaving me the only female in the family. Still, my father did a wonderful job of raising the four of us—my two older brothers, my younger brother and me.

Of course, growing up on a ranch didn't help in that regard either. It took all of us to work the place, especially after our father's legs were crushed beneath his falling horse. I was seven at the time. I had to learn to cook at an early age.

Our father was a very Christian man, and we rarely missed church on Sunday. He raised us to be respectful, and how to conduct ourselves in ways that would bring honor to him and our family. When off of our ranch, we all made sure to do just that. On the ranch however, and when out from under his watchful eye, we were just normal kids.

When we would camp out, which we did a lot, we would take beer and sometimes pot, and have our private family parties. We would get drunk and high enough to puke, smoke cigarettes, curse, shoot things we weren't supposed to, and skinny dip at every opportunity. We'd done that all of our lives, so we didn't think anything about it.

The closest we ever came to being physical with each other was when someone would deserve a good tickling and the other three would hold them down and give it to them. If we were all naked at the time, no one thought anything about it.

This is all by way of explaining how I came to be so prim and proper at school and in public, even when alone with my friends, but not being that way inside. That was an act, not who I really was.

I forced myself to giggle when my girlfriends would talk about boys and sexual things. The truth was that I didn't think it was a big deal at all. I'd seen just about every animal on the ranch breed. I'd spent hundreds of hours totally naked with my three brothers. I'd seen their cocks get hard and teased them to no end about it.

When they needed to masturbate, they were gentlemen about it. We all drew the line there. They would find some excuse to go off somewhere, or get me to go off somewhere and leave them alone. And yes, I peeked many, many times and took care of myself while watching them. They knew it, and I knew they knew it, but we just didn't talk about that.

The only time any comment was made about it was on one occasion when Elliot was particularly drunk. When I came back to join them, he said in a serious tone, "Sis, I don't think we ought to let you go out there by yourself anymore."

"Why?" I asked.

"A few minutes ago, I could have sworn I heard a couple of wild bores fighting out there. We wouldn't want them to get you." And then he burst out laughing.

Okay, so I had always found it difficult to stay quiet when having an orgasm. That's how they knew what I was doing, and how I knew that they knew. But none of us had made mention of it prior to that. Eddie immediately backhanded Elliot across the chest and shook his head at him. That was the last time it was mentioned.

When they were done, they would come back, or call me back, and I would return and tease them about their boners having magically disappeared while I was gone. They weren't shy about telling me that I was responsible for them needing to do it, after my body started developing, of course.

Even peeing was done openly in front of the others. The only time that even garnered a tease was when it took too long. Most of the time, we didn't even feel the need to turn our backs for that, especially when we were all naked around the campfire drinking and smoking pot. It was just part of life. No big deal.

* * *

I was twenty-eight and very close to getting my Doctorate degree in Animal Husbandry from Texas A&M when dad died. The twins, Edward and Elliot were two years older. They had both graduated from the local junior college, but couldn't abandon the ranch to go past that in school. Randy was three years younger than me, and he was never any good in school. He did make it through High School, but just barely. He didn't go to college.

By then, Eddie and Elliot had both been married for a short time and divorced. They were typical country boys who had just never grown up. Wives and girlfriends couldn't take being third in line behind rodeos and the ranch. The twins were six-one, long legs, short dark hair, blue eyes, and each sported a "farmer's" tan.

Randy stood a little less than six foot, but resembled the twins in most other ways. He had a serious girlfriend, but had no intention of marrying her. He was the practical joker of the family and kept us all laughing when we were together.

I looked like what I was, a five foot ten-inch cowgirl. If you want to turn on a cowboy, long slender legs and a tight ass that look good in jeans will do the trick. I had both. Of course, big brown eyes, long dark brown hair, and a pair of thirty-six Ds don't hurt either hehe.

There's something else though—something that seems to turn on the boys just as much, if not more. A girl who is comfortable being just one of the guys seems to excite them. I learned that during my first year of college.

I had my share of lovers—no more—no less. I wasn't a slut, but I wasn't opposed to giving it up after a few dates either. Hell, I loved sex, and the boys I dated didn't have to pretend to be in love with me to get in my pants. They just had to date me enough times to let me get to know and like them.

I didn't have many girlfriends. I couldn't stand hanging out with them. The silly games they played drove me crazy. Looking back on it, I'm sure that having to pretend to be like them all those years finally just put me over the edge. Once away from our small town, I didn't have to do that anymore, so I didn't. I had a lot more platonic male friends than girlfriends.

* * *

Saturday, the day of dad's funeral and the several days before it were difficult on all of us. I could tell that all three of my brothers felt the same as me. We all wished that people would just leave and let us grieve in private. But the house was constantly filled with aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and friends.

Before leaving the cemetery, Randy got the rest of us aside long enough to tell us that he was going for beer and ice—a lot of beer and ice, and that he was going to our campsite by the small lake on the other side of the ranch from the house. "They can have the house to themselves." He said, "I can't take it anymore."

I whispered to my favorite aunt that we were going somewhere to be alone, and not to worry about us if we didn't show up in time for church the next morning. We met back at the house, changed clothes, and headed out. The twins and me went on horseback, and Randy brought the food and refreshments in the jeep.

We'd been at the campsite for almost an hour and each had a couple of beers, when the silence became overwhelming. Finally, I stood up, and for the first time since graduating high school, began taking off my clothes in front of my brothers. "Sit here and cry in your beer if you want to. I'm going for a swim." Sixty seconds later, we were all in the water.

After that, the mood was lighter and more relaxed. It was just like we were teenagers again. I took great pleasure in pretending that was the case, and it wasn't difficult. We were older, but not much else had changed. Eddie did notice one change though. "Tess, when did you start trimming your puss?"

I looked down and giggled, "When I went off to college and didn't have to wear those gawd awful old-lady swimsuits anymore."

"I like it." Randy said, his words followed by a loud burp.

I giggled again, "I can tell." And then I gestured toward his boner with my beer bottle.

When the twins started laughing, I looked at them in turn and said, "What are you two laughing at? You're flagpoles were waving before I even got to the water."

"Some things never change." Eddie, spoke up.

"Thank god." Elliot added.

Something had changed though. We weren't teenagers anymore. We weren't virgins by a long shot—none of us. The fact that things weren't the same hit me the hardest when I got up and walked a few feet away and squatted to pee. They were all watching me with interest. They had never done that before, at least not so blatantly—with so much interest.

"What? You guys are acting like you've never seen me pee before." The instant I said that, the three of them diverted their eyes and made a lame attempt to start up a conversation between them.

When I was finished, I walked over and stared down at them, "I'll get dressed if it's bothering you that much." My comment was followed by total silence. "Guys?"

Finally Eddie got up and went to the ice chest, his beautiful hard cock waving in front of him. "It's not your fault, Tess. It's ours."

"What the fuck are you talking--"

Elliot broke in, "We've been out here a lot of times without you, and . . ."

"And what?" I asked, not being able to imagine what he was talking about.

Eddie finished what Elliot was trying to say "Men talk. You weren't here and we talked about you a lot. Do you understand now?"

"What we'd have done if you weren't our sister—that kind of talk." Elliot confessed.

I was shocked, but then I immediately began feeling stupid or naïve for being shocked. I had simply never considered that possibility. I knew looking at my naked body made them hard, but that was to be expected. A teenage boy can't see a naked girl without getting a boner. That's just physiology. It's not intentional. But I never dreamed that they had imagined doing sexual things with me. And even now that we were older, I never considered that they were actually thinking those things—because of me yes, but not about me.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked, but again, there was total silence. They just sat there and stared at the ground between us. Finally, I decided to meet it head on. I got my beer and sat on the ground right in front of the three of them. "Okay then, out with it. Tell me. When did that kind of thinking and talking start? Before I left for college or after? I want the truth."

Randy spoke up. "Before." 

I looked right at him, "Before . . . I see. You mean, when we were still coming out here—when I was still coming out here with you. That's what you mean, isn't it? You were talking between yourselves about fucking me. Is that what you're saying?"

"Yeah, and other things."

I let that soak in a little and then glanced from one of them to the other, "And you were thinking about doing those things to me the whole time you were having your little circle jerks, weren't you? Tell me the truth."

"Fuck yes" Elliot said as he went for another beer. "What did you expect?"

I looked around at him, "I expected you to be thinking about what you'd like to do to Margaret Coleman, or Brenda Johnson, or anyone but me. That's what I thought. Obviously I was wrong."

Randy let out a nervous chuckle, "Ya think?"

My eyes just bounced from one of them to the other until I finally had to get up and go to the ice chest. When I returned, I stood staring down at them again, "And now?"

"Now what?" Randy asked, unsure of the question. "That's what you're thinking about now too, isn't it?" Their blank stares answered my question. "I see. Why didn't you ever tell me? We talked about sex a lot."

"That's not the kind of thing you tell your sister." Eddie said. "You don't just tell your sister that you want to fuck her."

"If we'd told you that, you wouldn't have come out here with us anymore, and we wouldn't have gotten you see you naked anymore."

After a few minutes of silence, I asked, "A minute ago, I said fucking me, and you said 'yeah, and more'. What else?"

"Everything you can imagine." Randy answered.

"And probably some things you can't." Eddie added.

I felt my face burn with a blush when I realized that I was allowing images of things to flash through my brain, and I was getting turned on by them. It wasn't unusual for me to get turned on while seeing the three of them with boners, but I had never thought about what it would be like to do things with them—with other boys, but not with them.

Finally, I let out a sorrowful sigh, "I guess I should get dressed and head on back to the house so you can talk about fucking me and jack off, huh?"

"Gezz sis, we're sorry, really. We didn't mean to."

"Yeah, we just—well shit, we couldn't help it. I'm sorry I told you. I shouldn't have. I fucked it up for all of us."

"Oh, and why is that? Why are you sorry? Is it because you think I'm hurt or pissed, or is it because I'm thinking about covering up what you want to stare at and fantasize about fucking?"

Randy stood up and let out a nervous laugh, "All of the above." He blurted out as he headed for the ice chest. "Especially the last part—the part about you getting dressed and leaving."

I had to chuckle, "Well at least you're honest."

"Don't be pissed, sis. We didn't mean to hurt your feelings or piss you off, really." Eddie said in a sincerely apologetic tone.

I looked at him, "I'm not pissed, Eddie, and I'm not hurt. I'm just surprised. You caught me off guard, that's all. I had no idea. I just thought—hell, I don't know what I thought. But I'm not pissed off—it's not that. I think I'm just feeling a little stupid for being so naïve. But, now that I know—I don't know—it's not that bad, I guess. At least you didn't rape me or anything. Some brothers might have."

"We talked about it." Randy blurted out.

"Shut the fuck up." Eddie scolded him. "Why did you say a stupid thing like that?"

"Hey" Randy said, holding up his hands in surrender, "I thought we were being honest. We talked about that a lot of times." And then he looked at me, "Sometimes you gave it up willingly, sometimes you didn't. When you didn't, we took it. Sorry."

"I was a virgin and determined to stay that way, so I wouldn't have given it up without at fight." I don't know why I added what I said next, but the words were out before I could take them back, "Other things maybe, but not my that—not my virginity."

Total silence befell all of us and I felt my face and neck burn again. Finally, I said in an astonished tone, "Holy shit, I don't believe I just said that out loud." And then I concentrated on draining the last of my beer so I wouldn't have to look at them.

* * *

I got up and went for a fresh beer, but when I started back toward them, they were all three still sitting there with blank stares on their faces, and of course, raging boners that they were now, for the first time, trying to hide from me. "Shit!" I said, and then I forced a chuckle, "I've never seen the three of you look as pathetic as you do right now, sitting there with your dicks throbbing and your tongues hanging out. You'd better say something before a bird shits on your tongue." 

"Fuck!" Elliot finally managed.

"I second that." His twin added.

Randy was bolder, "Other things, huh? You would have considered . . ."

I shrugged, "How should I know. I didn't know what you guys were thinking, so how am I supposed to know how I would have reacted. I'm not a virgin now, so my perspective has changed too much to know how I would have reacted back then. I may have just freaked out and ran away, but I doubt it. Who knows?"

"You freaked out now, so I'm pretty sure you would have freaked out even more back then." Elliot said.

"I'm not fucking freaked out, goddamit! And I'm not pissed off. Like I said, you just caught me off guard. I'm not blaming you, I just didn't know. I had no fucking idea. That's all there is to it. I'm not usually that naïve—not with other men. I know how they think—what they think about when they look at me. That's normal. I don't know why it never dawned on me that you guys might be thinking the same thing. I don't know why it surprised me so much, but I'm over it now—well, almost anyway."

Eddie got up and walked past me to the second ice chest, but instead of getting a beer, he grabbed the handle and dragged it over to where we were sitting. When he was back and seated, twisting the top off of another beer bottle, he looked right at me and said, "Well, I think I can speak for the three of us—hell for that matter, the whole male population—when I say that our dicks only have one eye, and they can't see out of that one, so they don't fucking know that the hot babe in front of them is their sister. Then, the brain turns over control to the dick, and he does the thinking from then on. And believe me, he doesn't give a shit who you are, he wants to fuck you—sister—no sister—doesn't make a fuck to him."

I started laughing, and then Randy joined in, and soon, we were all laughing until long after our sides started aching.

* * *

Laughing so hard for so long eased the tension and allowed the beer to work its magic. Before long, I asked them, "So, do you have a certain routine? Do you take turns on me, or fuck me all at the same time?"

"All at once, usually." Randy offered.

"Hrm, who gets which hole, or do you trade off?"

Elliot spoke up, "We usually start off the same, then trade off."

"Oh, and who gets what first?"

Randy said, "You don't want to go there, sis." But when I scolded him and told him we were past that—that I just need to know, he said with a sigh, "It's always age before beauty. So I have to settle for your pussy. They usually argue over your ass and mouth. Eddie always wins, of course."

I looked at Eddie, "What do you win?"

"Mouth. That's my favorite."

Then I looked at Elliot, "And if you won, you'd take my mouth too?"

He grinned, "Yep".

So I looked back at Randy, but I didn't have to ask. He blurted out, "Me too, ass comes in a distant second."

I let out a silly giggle, "Well, I didn't know how much fun blowjobs were back then, so I don't know if I'd done it, but fuck, if I'd known then what I know now, believe me, you wouldn't have had to ask me twice."

My god, they couldn't have cleared their throats in such perfect union if they'd practiced it for months. The next thing I knew, Eddie and Randy were following Elliot's lead to take a pee. There were few things I enjoyed more than watching them try to pee with those beautiful boners, but they always managed. This time, it was even more endearing—even exciting. "God, that looks funny." I giggled.

When they sat back down, Randy said, "It's not funny when you do it."

"Oh really, what is it then."

"Hot" Eddie answered.

"You're serious?" I asked Eddie, but the other two chimed in with "Absolutely and "Fucking A" at the same time.

By then, I was in a mood. That's the best way I can explain it. I guess I was still a little numb from their confessions, and I was a little tipsy and a little horny. All of those factors played a role in my leaning back on my hands, spreading my knees, and peeing right there where I sat.

I was rewarded with a round of "Holy shit", and "Fucking A" and "Hell yeah." And that just made me hornier than I already was. So, I reached down and started playing with my pussy, which was still exposed to their unobstructed views. "So, you guys gonna join me, or what? I want to see some serious cock stroking."

They did start stroking their hard cocks, all three of them. But within seconds, Eddie, asked, "So, you like giving blowjobs, huh?"

By then, I was too far gone to care about anything but cumming, "Fuck yeah! Come over here and I'll show you." Seconds later, I was sucking Eddie's cock, while my other two brothers watched and continued stroking theirs.

It didn't feel like my brother's cock. It just felt like a long thick hard cock sliding in and out of my mouth and down my throat. When my tongue teased at the sensitive underside of his cock and over the engorged head, it was a cock—no my brother's cock.


Of course, my other two brothers were quite verbal in their appreciation for how much of Eddie's thick eight inches I was able to take in. That had never been a problem for me, and I loved doing it.




Tess



Elliot's cock replaced Eddie's in my mouth seconds after Eddie came down my throat. His cum didn't feel or taste like a brother's cum. It felt and tasted like a man's cum, wonderful, slick, and erotic.

They were identical twins, so sucking Elliot's cock was no different than sucking Eddie's, except for the way Elliot grabbed my hair and held me to him, his cock fully down my throat, and the way he didn't let me up for air until I was about to pass out. Even though it wasn't my brother doing it—just a man, there was a trust there that wouldn't have been there otherwise.

By the time Randy stepped in front of me, my jaws were aching. I'd never done two guys, let alone three. Finally, I had to practically beg him to fuck me instead.

"Where?"

"You said you liked ass better than pussy, but it's your choice."

And that's when everything broke wide open. The next thing I knew, Randy was fucking me in the ass, Eddie was cramming his hard cock into my pussy, and Elliot was forcing me to gag on his hard cock for the second time.

When Randy's nice cock was sliding effortless in and out of my ass, the fact that he was my brother didn't detract from the feeling, it made it better. It belonged to someone I loved unconditionally. It wasn't the cock of a brother, it was the cock of a friend—a really good friend.

Eddie being my brother didn't detract from how his long thick cock felt pumping in and out of my pussy. It made it better.

And Elliot being my brother didn't enter my mind as he was forcing his cock down my throat. I was enjoying it too much to let that get in the way of how good it felt.

When Randy, Elliot, and Eddie came on and in me, in my ass, in my pussy, and in my mouth, the fact that they were my brothers didn't make it feel less wonderful, didn't make it taste less delicious, or make me feel guilty afterward. I loved it. I loved it all. I didn't want it ever to end.

I had never experienced such total sexual bliss.

* * *

When they had all cum, two of them for the second time, and I had cum several times myself, Eddie whispered to me, "There's something we need to do now." And with that, the three of them stood over me and pissed all over my limp body.

I have to admit; I didn't find that particularly arousing in and of itself, but it didn't disgust me either. For some reason, it was somewhat erotic—the visual of them doing it, of them standing over me, aiming their cocks down toward me, more than the feeling of their hot piss splashing over my body.

It was dark by then, but we took a dip in the lake to wash up and cool off. When we returned to the nearby campsite, I asked them, "Well, was it all you thought it would be"

Randy spoke up, "Not yet, but the night's still young."

* * *

I understand that some will find this odd, perhaps even more odd than my having sex with my siblings, but I must confess that the most erotic time I experienced that night was not during the physical aspects of it.

Those other times, the times in between the physical interaction, when we were just sitting and talking, were very special and very powerful times.

When Randy looked me right in the eyes, for instance, and said to me, "Your eyes make my dick hard every time I look into them." That impacted me greatly.

A few minutes later, when Elliot told me, "Having you for a sister is like having a little brother—with fantastic tits and a pussy." I melted.

At one point, Eddie said, "Having you here with us when we were growing up, and you being so willing to share your body with us, even if only to look at and fantasize about—that was special to us. Very few boys have that, and we loved you for it."

And Randy added, "Most of the guys our age had to jack off to the pictures in Playboy, but we had you. That was special."

The other two agreed. Elliot adding, "Fuck, every time I shot my load while jacking off, it was in your mouth or on you tits, and every time, I could hear you telling me that it was okay, that you understood, that it was no big deal."

"Yeah, that's the thing." Eddie chimed in, "You were one of us. You just put it out there and let us see it and didn't think anything about it. There is no way you can ever know how much fun that was for us."

Of course, all of those statements came after they had all cum inside my various openings. They had no reason to bullshit me at that point—nothing to gain from saying those things. That made hearing them even more special.

Okay, I admit it. I started crying. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it. Finally, I composed myself enough to get up and look at them all and say, "I'm going to take a quick dip and freshen up. Please don't come with me. I needed time by myself to think."

When I walked out of the lake and stood in front of them again, I said "I'll be finished with college in two months. When that's done, I'll come back here. When I do, I will belong to you, all three of you, for as long as you want me. I only ask one thing . . ."

Randy asked, "What?"

"Never in dad's house—here, and anywhere else on the ranch, but I can't do it in dad's house. I just can't."

By the time I returned to the ranch two months later, our new house was half finished. It was on the hill overlooking our private campsite. It was to be occupied by four brothers, one of which just happened to have tits and a pussy that turned on the other three. I enjoyed being that one.

* * Then End * * *



Tess



my head snaps back as my lips overflow with the silken feeling of... of... where was i, as consciousness returns. Disbelief and reality unfolds, eyes fall weak as my bra cuts into my chest. tess, snap out, my head spins trying to recover. Breasts crushed into me and my weight leans forward, arms bound wide as if crucified; silken cock fucking my face. i can't struggle, mouth overstuffed, i choose not to... i must have been here awhile, as i resist from throwing up; steadily mucus warms my neck and chest.  

Hands seem to come from all over; smothering, groping, insistent, as i always envisioned. The largest it seems, holds my head in place, i look to turn, force this violation from my opening. i'm breathing, yes? Gagging, yes, i cough hard around the invading penis, taste like dirt. Gawd, "no" screams from my eyes... weeping, i want to see myself. Gawg, gaw, gaw... 'elp, ppppooooooootth," blows hard around that cock that invades. Breathe girl, my brain explodes..breath cool sneaks past his cock, into my lungs and oh yeah my nose.

Knees ache on the cold steel. Can't rise from them, my ankles,' can't close. 

"my turn, let me in there," explodes from behind me. 

my bike toppled beyond them as the eclipse of bodies part, the voice moves before me to taking his place. "yes...," he stands hissing, fitting his way tight into the crowd. 

"yes... " falls from my lips as i look up at the shadowy figures fumbling to get in, all aimed at my face. Hot on my tongue the words sizzle out. "Yesth, yefff please," i cry. Ones Man-slit opens wide as i see past the blur in my tears. "yefff." He's gonna cum.

"...we spoke of many things..." The sound appears in my head. i shake it, to regain focus.. 

interrupted, i resume, "i want it," now clearly i admit. my pussy on the verge of convulsing. Needing to release the orgasm, now wound tight in my loins. "yes... cum. yesssss" 

"Fools and kings..." frustrated, the blanket warming tone fills My head. Blinking, blinking hard, reality returns...

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn Is just to love and be loved in return..." 

sigh. i let go of my vulva. "Thanks Nat!" the tune dies to an to my empty room, my apartment, my bedroom. i think, "i need to hurry". 

"try to save myself, but myself keeps slipping away..." the new disk hisses. 

" i grin in the mirror. The tune grinds at me. 

Perfect, well shaped lips framed well as i can never get enough sun. Chuckle," one'd think me a vampiress. Come, be bitten and enslaved forever, or tie me up and whip my ass... well?" Humored by the note of irony; always taken for Domme, never for my nature. 

Stepping bedside, i raise the long sleeve fishnet top. Stretching..., Br'er Bear crushes the plaid skirt. Slinging the top over my shoulder. "Come here," gathering this massive maine coon. His purr pronounced, his chest to my bikini top. "you're gonna have to find some other way to keep me home tonight. This skirt i'm wearing... you evil brute. i need to get dressed. There's a pile at the bottom of my closet i left for you." Whomp! His paws crush the ground. i need to remember to take it easy on the neighbor below, as He looks back in disdain. 

"... kinda i want to." ...Nails screams from the speaker. Br'er bear prowls off.

Simple, solo piano notes rise, "I still recall the taste of your tears, echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.." tightly reverberates around the room. 

' work the crop top fishnet sleeves over me. Good. Looking back at the mirror, tugging at the netting as it falls off the shoulders, "nice". "Tied to a bike wrack, what was i thinking..." Set adrift again, not as deep. As i can see the skirt, 'm stepping in. Out of body, "... gawf... ," chuckling," always the victim. As far back as i can remember, the desire to be bound, pinned down." Straightening the skirt, i recall masturbating on Craig's thigh in that pile-on of kids. The crushing weight of neighbor kids as his knee found it's place. The crossed oversized clothes pins hitched over the pleat, i snap back; cold, i'm steadily stroking metal, perfect texture. A down pour of recollection rushes over my forehead, the weight of limited movement.. grinding my mound into his hip. Some-ones hand, accidental or not, steadily molesting my nubile breasts, and all the while my panties cut into my bottom. 

"... i'm starting to scare myself," The record burns on. 

i chuckle, "Yes, maybe just a little." 

Hips move, Grinding into the new tune. "talking to myself all the way to the station, pictures in myself of the final destination," Toes dip into my Doc Martins. Firmly planted, "i look... yeah that's it." 

"all lined up (all the ones that aren't allowed to stay) tried to save myself but myself keeps slipping away," i sing along, rocking side to side. Warm up, ready.

The beat fills, thumps through me. my skin's alive, as the pulse it rocks my knees. A breath of relief,"... home again." The club, my surrogate home, i'll assume where i belong. Turning in the middle of the floor, i look down to find another, assuming His ownership. Hips invades the air hard right, far left, i continue, He's there, can't hurt, could help. "Sure", drools from my mouth. i turn, His chest, quick to find my back. i drop, slink up, His Hands find my curves. Molests my shape He touches, brain tense, i gush, my body surrenders. How dare... no permission, the beat thumps, eyes soft. His hands find my hips, mine overhead i sway. 

A buzz builds to the corner entrance, They must be here. "come...," in my ear His lips hot on my neck, tugging at my waist. my head snaps to his hand. 

Looking back, "no," eyes cut at him. 

"over here slut!" his voice burns in my brain, he further works to guide me to the opposite end of the floor. "you have ass, property." He winks, as his pet name fails to take. "my knob needs service!" he roars, attempting to get over the din, the music, i look back to see them cut the crowd, towards the lounge. 

i take his gaze, his shrunken head between my thumb and index, he goes pale my objection obvious. "no," small grin breaks from my cheeks... my state of being, more than flush. "sister?" i look over as she takes my hands. 

"tess," she replies. 

"i didn't expect ... Wasn't He out of town?" 

"i know, He came and broke right into.'we're going out.' my heart stopped a dozen times at the thought and here we are." her lips crush mine. If only she were switch. "...drinks, come with?" we trot off. 

"ugh.. That bastard." 

"what?!" my sub sister snaps.

"that Top there, he grabbed me, thought He owned me because His Dick hangs low."

"what?!" she returns. 

"What....?? Oh, naw what i mean is that He just put His hands on me, just because He's Dom. Not like i'd know how to be taken... but damn it, i want in on the decision. Not just grabbed." 

"humph; tessie, i was grabbed." 

"mmmm yeah, but that's different, you wanted Him to take you." 

"not long... hell we'd just..." 

"met? Yeah i know, while your submission must have been obvious. i mean then it would have been some sort of rrr..."

"stop. You're making too much of all this. Frankly, i think your Dom will grab you just like that. Take you, tie you up and that will be the end of that." 

"You say. While i'm not waiting around for it... ie i'm 'home' tonight." 

"and you are, tess." tipping her glass. 

" and He has me and training, which i'm grateful to both of you," i smile.

"easily, as you're appreciated and a best friend... so, to Hands off till my eyes say so." 

"here here... and let His lips shackle me forever." smiles..." stupid boys piss me off." 

"and no need to be so anxious, hell..." her voice buried by the beat. 

"what?!" 

"i said... what do you need with a Dom anyhow, you have U/us." 

"and if a tree falls in the woods with no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?! Even nearly as loud as these beats??" i look around. 

"you... away from the plateau. meanwhile, you be you...Master will do well to shape you. you just can't make a big deal out of every Top and go run off the ranch. Master's good at this... will let you know when the right Dom is there." 

"i know... i'm just ready." 

"yeah, sure... like you're ready to hand that guy His forearm from the chum pile. God forbid that had been your 'One'", while pulling me with and turning to offer my glass to Master. 

she drops to his feet and curls at them as her hand slips from mine; i join her. my back pressed firm to her bosom, we stroke each other, her thighs to my digits; hers safely to my naked torso, looking back, He lovingly looks down on us caressing her hair and nodding ahead. 

i turn, a couple have made their way to the middle of the club. The spectacle obvious and their grinding and touching looked louder than the music, which seemed to crush to a dull mumble as he reaches in her skirt touching her lewdly. His action broadens as more onlookers take note. One moves closer, His look of control... His gaze freezes her. her face flush, the corner of her mouth sags as her body gives in. her Dom nods at the stranger, she snaps back to reality, as His hand joins her Dom's behind her skirt. Her Dom turns the fold in her skirt back, revealing what this stranger is doing to her. The gleam from her excitement obvious as she squirts, the dance lights catches it spilling at their feet. He backs them to the loft bed, she dry humped from front and back. Dry... well... nothing dry, the dampness to the strangers slacks apparent as well. 

my sister, benefactors touch moves to a clutch as i realize her breath had frozen. her link to the scene obvious, while wasn't this the chick that said to be patient...?? my lips land on her cheek and glare barely breaks as our Master / Trainer leans in.

The Master of this trio hoists her back, giving the stranger full access to his exposed slut. 'gawd" breaks through the din as He takes position over her. Her Master, poised behind her head, the bed, perfectly elevated to His hips as if meant for... a crowd musters close. my? sub sis is trying to speak. 

"gawd." is all that eeks out and i need her to move her grip on me. 

The crowd, mostly men get nearer to the threesome.?, they approach. Faces of shock, disconnect, and desire all in a musky heap nearest them. The glee from her Dom like a beacon over the scene, then shattered sound, her yulp to life, "they're touching me!!"

i froze. Victim? Sister? my heart bounds towards them, springing up from my side. her clutch leaves me. Distended over her toes, she ache's to fill her eyes with scene of this cadre' of desire. Patent leather pumps bow, gleam grabs my attention to the curve of her calf. my eyes trace up her, as the din of the spectacle continues. 

"Sir?" she yulps back at Master. 

"' must be ideal as He hasn't changed the scene," Master roars from His armchair up at U/us. Calm, He continues, leaning into our H/hosts. They converse; nodding in agreement they look back on the scene. 

"Sir... i," sisters words lilt over the music. 

"can't turn away, can you," rightly our Master returns. Gleeful, His uncanny means of control, insight over us. 

Eyes between scenes, i look to His for approval, my feet slowly shuffling towards the mound of humanity building in front of us. Approval settles over His face as His voice dissipates;" want to touch yourself?" i move around the bed, back to the rack over the Leaders shoulder. i look back as my sub sister nods. my chin prone back into all this flesh before me, that woman's features barely made out from all the hands.

"they'rwe touph-ching me," tear filled, a still hard cock falls from her lips. her Masters grip firmly locked in her hair. Another a-stride her face to one side.

Heat builds to my right. Uncertain, i turn to where my sub sister has taken position. The vinyl from her hoop skirt wants to melt against my wrist. i pull her in for a better view," are you ok?," i ask.

"Master's checked, it seems within their play." my hand drops from her waist again flipping the skirt as it passes. 

"i've not seen this." 

"something edging on a gang-bang?" she continues," not usually, not here but..."

"no... this look of yours."

Surely distracted by me, "i've worn it." 

"girl?... na ah, i love this skirt too much to forget it. You've been no-where near me in this thing, if you had, you wouldn't be in it now, as i would be." Giggling," and they're ok, yes??" 

"huh, what...?? Fetish Factory." 

"Dear God girl, " i break into her confusion, "get in there." 

"no... but i can't tear away." 

"He'll allow you to, just ask." 

"no... why can't i tear away?"

i comb her hair through my fingers, breaking her attention well kissed by me," i'll ask Him for you." my hand falls, tracing hers to find it below the vinyl hoop dress. 

Hand squirming gently, "no don't!" i jump back. She tenderly draws me back in, as my index finds her wetness... index, middle finger, ring finger, "don't... i know what i'm allowed."

"...but to deny our impulses, is to deny what makes us human," smacks the sound of her wetness from between my fingers and from off my tongue. i continue," he'll..."

"one," she snapped," i'm allowed to cum once." her hand behind mine, as she guides me past her thong again. "once... only," she struggles to mumble. 

our hands turns, the pace picks up. her eye's like saucers. 

"they're touching me!" fractures my soul from my side. The look in her eyes, the scene unfolding to my... left? back? around us, as we're center the melee. "they're touching..." now my labia invaded. 

"Red light?" a dark voice rolls down my spine. my fuck hole gushes,"gawd..." working feverishly at my sisters 'one', my hand drifts back to be replaced by her own. my hips fall back to accept the invasion; victim, willful, sub slut. 

Craned over, one hand after another in my locks. The hot touch, glazed at my cheek, " red light?" over and over, one voice then another. my jaw drops air force free by cock, one, then another, sword fighting for entry. my arms splayed wide, knees ache, in recollection, molested... felt up, throat fucked, cunt up for display. Hot, feminine, felt knee-ward... gawf... fuck, gawd gawd gawd, leaps from my throat repeatedly. "red light...?" haunts this voice, over me. 

Shaped shadows, torsos, skin, a blur before me. i see her beyond them. Back pressed into the wall behind. Arched, chair-like she strains to avoid sliding to the ground; strains to keep her commitment. Skirt hiked to her tits, mouth screaming and nothing emits. On fire, my subsister, her hand a blur. Soul locked to my own. 

loud cracks, moans, and madness has broken out beyond the crowd. 

Hands overlapped, bound at my bony wrists. Bound, then drawn behind my head; secured to my torso. "red light?" reality a blur, i surrender. A cock gags me. Smothered in his bush, it swells. The knob pops from my throat, unable to escape i suck in; one's Dick slit blossoms as it moves past my face. "ffffffFFFuck!!! It's Hot!!!" He gushes over my cheek, behind my eye. i want to retreat. No. "gawd, red...", i stop myself, the humiliation rushes over me, my most dessert heat, hair to toe, more complete than i'd ever envisioned. The safe words i'm halted from using, no... i won't say. 

If like magic, my hips rise. Feet airborne, light as a feather a dozen tender touches lay me," they're touching me..." she shrieks. Mounted, molested, and cum clad, she struggles. her shaved mound, red hot, looks up at me... forced face in. my tongue falls out to pad my landing, but fails, my nose crashes into her mound. instinct insists i make her feel... better? i'm wanting her panic to die away. "they're touch...!!!!" my slit smothers her plea. God, no... queening, throne, no... no.. not me?! Her tongue, lips, chick mumbles into me, i qweef. A cock rams home in my throat. 

Choked, i wretch hard around this Dick. "i'm cum... shit, Sir, may i??" i need to... mouth full. "hmmmm.. M... Um?? quuummmm?? Mmm??" wretch harder still, i sense a pop as my ass gives way!!! Taken!!!! Tears leap from my eyes, then fall weak. i'm gonna... gonna, "Sir May i cum?" i scream ignoring the breath i require. 

Like a warm blanket meant to save me, "yes." The familiar voice of one of the red lights once called out. "yes, cum for me," He granted, my invader permits from behind me. 

Cumming... gawd cumming, i'm uuughhh... why? i ... ssssssssssshit i'mmmm..... wave after wave. Someone help me?! please? save me. i'm drowning, head swimming. Someone help me... "That's it... do it. impress me," He continues, tossing me the life ring i need as a new wave crushes me into this fleshy soul below me. 

ms. thing draws bubbles from my slit, she's forced to exhale, only to open me with her tongue to inhale. The last of this convulsion erupts over her mouth. This is not where i belong. Gawd, my ass.. Mmm please, yes, yes.. Take my ass, Sir, traps in my mind. As i'm quick to forget her again, pleasing my saviors cock. Another's Dick choke fucks my face. Please use me.. the thought settles over me. Just not here. Not like this. my thoughts leap back onto her and hard stab between my ass cheeks and i'm a slut again. 

"gaaaawd!!!!" cuts through the din. "Oh gawd?!!!" familiar... i know that voice. Sis!

Ummmmmgh,.. i'm blinded, a hot stream leaps into my eye. i hope to save my kin at a glance, but the weight, the force, mounted, taken. SssssSSHitt... aaaawww gaaawdd... He's fucking my asss... 

Masters Dragon's tail slices the air like thunder. 

Aaaawww gawd... mmmm yes. "Help!! Please??!!!," sister yulps. i want to see. 

Ggawd,... more, more cum. "slut." my invader hisses. 

"yes," falls from my lips. A heavy hand clears the glue from my lens, as it tears down off the end my nose and chin.

The familiar sound of the air cut, wwwwwwwwHack!!! again Master whips her. 

"They're touch...." the room breaking in to snow, forward i fall. Torso slack in slow-motion. A ringing in my ears. wwwwwwwwWhat, i think. Who's touching? i think. Blackness. 

Lurching forward. More attempting to, thick leather around my neck, pins me back, the air cool over my glowing flesh. Nipples dilated, the music dull, a warm towel makes it way over me. "Welcome back." my loved O/ones break in. 

The One mastering the towel over Me, dispenses water into my parted lips. Calmed further, all tension rains away. 

"you will let me borrow this," sis holds up the fishnet top over me," not exactly my style, but..." she giggles "should W/we call you alice now, tess?"

The towel continues. Again, i attempt to rise. The figure strong, holds me in place, the slip and fall of a belt buckle at my left ear. He towels me down, i blush, as i feel as a prized steed, but who...? Him, yes? "Sir?" 

Master breaks in." i hope you're not referring to me," looking over the Man above me. 

Crushed, He's releasing me, i hurry to speak," S..." 

"you're in capable hands... " my flesh being massaged over. Master continued. 

my focus, vanquished, a song has broken through my despair of being released. "and while he spoke of many things Fools and kings This he said to me"

The One pinning me here would murmur, making light of all the activity, the noise... my invaders voice warmed over me. 

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn Is just to love and be loved in return"



Tess and Josh



Chapter 1: Trouble 

Tess met Josh at the most unlikely of places: a baptism.

Tess had only come because Liz had begged her to. She had blown off a party that she'd much rather go to, but sometimes you just had to do family things. Liz was her cousin after all, from her father's brother Peter, and once they had been the closest of friends, and it was Liz who was getting baptized.

Tess had gone searching through her clothes looking for something demure enough to wear to a baptism, and had only just succeeded. The skirt was too short, and the blouse too thin, but it would have to do. Once she wouldn't have had a problem finding the right clothes; Tess had grown up going to the church, a good little Sunday school girl, and best friends with Liz. But on the day after her sixteenth birthday, she had announced to her parents that she was no longer going to go to church, no longer interested in that boring religious crap, and she was now in charge of her own life, thank you very much. They wept, and wailed, and threatened to throw her out of the house, but when she'd called their bluff and gone to start packing, they'd backed down, and after that Tess had done her own thing.

When she first got to the baptism she hung out at the back of the church, feeling so very much out of place. After two and a half years of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, she had half expected that she'd be thrown out, but instead people had been quite welcoming of her, though she could still feel their judgment in the air. But she knew most of the kids well, and when Liz and her friends drew her into their circle, and she found that she was having an unexpectedly good time. There were some new kids in the circle, but the one she really noticed was a tall energetic guy with a glint in his eye. When Liz had introduced her, Josh did something completely unexpected – he had taken her hand and kissed the back of it, as if she was a lady. Tess knew better, she was no lady in any sense of the word, but she had still got shivers down her spine.

After Liz had been baptized, Josh had gone out the front with a guitar. Tess hadn't known the song, but she watched in awe as Josh carried off the tune in a beautifully smooth voice. It was a gentle song with a haunting melody, and full of words of love and compassion. It was about Jesus and how he cared for his loved ones, and though Tess knew she wasn't one of them, it still spoke strongly to her. Tess was doing a music journalism degree, counted herself part of the local music scene, and she'd done the whole band girl/groupie thing, but nothing had reached into her heart like this song. Anywhere else, and Tess would've gone up to him afterwards, thrust her pelvis out, and said "fly me!" Tess very much doubted that this would work with Josh.

After the baptism, a circle of friends hung at the church playing games and singing. Several of them, including Josh, had guitars, and Tess had blown off the party she'd intended to go to afterwards, and she'd stayed, just part of the circle, enjoying it much more than she had expected.

The next day, she went round to catch up with Liz, and they had long chat. At the end, Tess said, "You know, I've been thinking, I might start coming along to church a little."

"Oh, why's that?"

"Everyone was so nice to each other; they really cared how each other felt and made sure they were included. I never really appreciated it before, but my friends are not like that."

"How can they be your friends?"

Tess shrugged. Maybe they weren't really friends, just people that had screwed around with each other in the past, and maybe would again if it suited.

"I think that there's another reason," said Liz, with a smirk in her eyes.

"Was I that obvious?"

"Tess, the way you looked at him, the way your mouth hung open while he was singing?"

Tess sighed, and then Liz had told her all about Josh. Tess knew that this was a guy she could really fall for. Sporting – he played volleyball, musical, clever, outgoing, no current girlfriend, what was not to like?

Liz could see it too. "Tess, don't get your hopes up. Josh really believes, he's given his life to Jesus. You don't really have any basis for a relationship with him."

In her mind Tess knew how true that was, but her heart was not going to listen. It never had, that was how she ended up where she was. She had been starting to feel like her life was spinning out of control. Perhaps it was time to take a break, pull up and re-assess what she wanted from life. 

On Sunday she went to church. Her mum cried at the breakfast table when she announced that she was going. Josh smiled when he saw her, and when he brought her into his group of friends, her heart leapt. 

As she was leaving church, she realized that chasing Josh was going to be different to all the other boys she'd had. Usually she just offered up her body, and made sure that the guy had a good time, she knew how to do that. But Josh was going to be harder; he'd reach much further into her before even getting interested in her. He'd talked to her, let her be around him. But when the chance had come and she'd leaned into him and, without thinking, pushed her breast into his side, he'd just pulled away and created some space, but he'd also smiled at her. If Tess hadn't grown up in the church, she mightn't have known how to interpret those mixed signals. 

"I'll do whatever it takes", she said to herself. And if whatever it took was to go to church, then she'd happily do that. She had lost it bad for Josh, she knew, but it made Tess nervous. She had never had a relationship not based on sex, and she wasn't sure that any guy would want her without the sex - it was the only thing she was really good at. 

* * * * *

The next Saturday night, she went to Group, which was the weekly Saturday night gathering, mainly for teenagers, with games, Bible readings and singing. She hadn't felt good all day, some tummy pain thing. Though her period was overdue, it hadn't felt like normal cramping at all; but she took a couple of pills and went anyway. She'd enjoyed the night, and had even spent some time talking to people who were not Josh, but the pain had been getting worse, and eventually she had to go and curl up in the corner by herself. Liz had noticed almost immediately, and when Tess had not been very responsive, she'd got her boyfriend Sam to carry Tess out to his car and take them both to hospital. 

The emergency department admitted her quite quickly, and once they'd given her some pain medication, she started to respond a little. The female doctor had given her a once over, and then asked her when her last period had been.

"About 6 weeks ago."

"Is it possible that you're pregnant?"

"No. No way." Tess was indignant, as if she was a virgin.

The doctor paused. "When I see a teenage girl who's shaved her pubic hair off and replaced it with a tattoo of a snake, I figure that she is sexually active."

Liz, who'd been sitting with Tess holding her hand, stood up and said "Perhaps I better leave", but Tess had grabbed her hand tightly.

"No, don't. Ok, I am quite sexually active, but I'm on the pill, and I always do safe sex."

The doctor snorted in dismissal. She took some blood, and then disappeared. Tess turned to Liz. "No way I'm pregnant. It's just not possible." Liz kept her opinions to herself, and they talked about other things, much better than they'd talked for years, only pausing when the nurses came occasionally to check on Tess.

Eventually the doctor came back, and sat down next to the bed. 

"Tess, you're pregnant, about 6 weeks."

Tess felt herself sliding away. There was no way she could deal with this. Pregnant? Oh no. But how? She cast her mind back four weeks, and then remembered. "Oh no, the gang bang", she whispered.

"It looks to me like you have an ectopic pregnancy."

"What's that?" Tess asked.

"It means that instead of being implanted in the uterus like it's supposed to, the egg has gotten implanted in the wrong place, one of your tubes, and now that it's trying to grow into a baby, you're getting pain and probably bleeding. We have to confirm this with an ultrasound, which I'm going to go and organize now. If it is an ectopic pregnancy, it won't be viable."

"Baby" and "not viable" were pretty much the only words that Tess heard in all that. Once the doctor finally left to go and organize the ultrasound, Tess burst into tears. A baby? Pregnant? And not viable? Tess had absolutely no idea how to feel. She didn't know whether she wanted to lose the baby or not, didn't know how to think about it at all. She told Liz about the gang bang. Really, it would have been rape if it was anyone else, but she'd bragged about how she'd try anything and do anyone so often, that when the guys she was with decided that a gang bang was a good idea, she hadn't really known how to say no, and the drugs and alcohol hadn't helped. There were seven of them, and while it had been fun in a bizarre Tess-really-will-do-anything way, in another way, the how-Tess-really-feels way, it had been decidedly the worst experience of her life. 

Finally, it was time for the ultrasound, and it confirmed the Tess really did have an ectopic pregnancy. The doctor said that the drugs, alcohol and some other medicine she'd taken earlier when she was sick must have stopped the pill from working properly, and one of the guys must have not worn a condom or it broke or something, so the doctor was also testing her for STDs. She said that there was no chance for the pregnancy, and that she would admit her, and give her a drug to help terminate the pregnancy as quickly as possible, and that Tess would be in hospital for a few days for observation.

Liz finally called her dad to come and pick her up about 5am, when Tess had finally stopped talking and crying and gone to sleep under sedation. 

* * * * *

Liz was the first visitor the next day. When she walked in, she could see that Tess had been crying. Immediately, Tess launched into the offensive. "Where's my family? Why didn't they come to see me? I bet they went to church instead!"

Liz nodded, "They probably did, though I didn't."

"That'd be right, Gotta go to church, much more important than visiting a daughter in hospital."

"Tess, be gentle, they have no idea to deal with this. They only found out this morning. They don't want to come here and say that they told you so, but they can't come and say how sorry they are that this happened and how they will make it better."

"Oh right, so you've come to say told you so?"

"Oh come on." Liz looked at Tess with compassion. "I'd never say anything like that. Though I don't really need to, do I?"

Tess knew that was true. That was about the only thing she'd figured out in all this – that she had completely screwed her life up. How she actually felt, what she was going to do now, she had no idea about that stuff.

Liz stayed and talked, and held Tess again when she cried, but eventually Liz had to go. The next visitor really was a surprise, but if Tess had known that Josh was coming, she really would have gone insane beforehand. 

He walked in to her room and smiled at her, "Hello, I thought I'd drop in and see how you were."

Tess' heart quaked. Josh – oh no, she'd blown any change with him now. How could such a genuinely nice guy want anything to do with a truly confirmed slut like her?

"Err, hello", she offered tentatively.

He sat beside her bed and took her hand. "Are you OK? I was worried about you when I saw Sam carry you out."

"Didn't Liz tell you anything?"

"She told me where you are, but said that she promised you not to say anything else, so I didn't dig."

Tess decided not to tell Josh very much, but the words just bubbled out of her, and she ended up telling him almost everything. So, she was blowing any chance with him. But news would get out one way or another, she might as well tell him herself.

Josh hadn't appeared horrified, or judgmental. He'd encouraged Tess to talk about how she felt about being pregnant, and how she felt about losing the baby, and about taking a drug to help with the termination. When Tess cried, he had held her hand and fetched tissues for her, and just waited till she was ready to talk again. It was during this conversation that Tess started to get a handle on how she felt, how she could start thinking about what was happening to her, and that lead to a wider conversation about where her life was, and what she was going to do about it. 

Eventually Josh had to leave, and Tess' world came crashing down onto her again. But he'd left her with something, some knowledge about herself, some feeling that there was hope for her somewhere in this mess. And he'd also left her with a palpable hole, a missing space where he'd just been. Oh, she had it so bad for him. Too bad there was no hope in that particular direction.

The next day her parents visited. It was difficult. They didn't say much, obviously trying not to say the wrong thing; but since everything they wanted to say was the wrong thing, there wasn't much to say. Tess sighed to herself. It was always the wrong thing. But she didn't yell at them. If it hadn't been for Liz and Josh, she probably would have, but she just dug deep and waited them out. Still, she was certainly down when they left, and it was a happy surprise when Josh walked in not long after.

He walked to her bed, kissed the back of her hand again – as if she was a lady, even though he did know better by now – and got his guitar out of it's bag. "No talking today, you need a happy face."

He spent the next twenty minutes singing parodies, rip offs of all sorts of genres of music, in turn funny, stupid, irreverent and whimsical, and Tess laughed the whole time despite the pain in her body and soul. And then suddenly he stopped.

"Right. Now you pay the price for the entertainment. Can you go for a walk?"

"No, the nurses say I have to rest."

 So he went and fetched a wheelchair, and Tess found herself feeling truly ridiculous, being wheeled through the hospital while holding a guitar, and they went to visit Sister Beth. She was an old lady from the church who didn't have any family in the church. Tess hadn't known she was in the hospital, and wouldn't have dreamed of going to visit some old woman she didn't know who was dying from cancer. But going visiting with Josh wasn't like going visiting with anyone else. It was fun – the guitar made all the difference, and she even joined him singing some of the old classics that Beth liked. 

Once she was settled back in her bed, she could see that Josh wanted to go.

"Thanks so much for coming to see me."

"No problems."

Since that hadn't got the desired response, she decided to be a little more direct. "How come you've come to see me twice?"

Josh thought briefly, and then said, "Well, there's a few reasons. I do try to visit anyone I know who's in hospital, and I could tell that Liz was worried about you. And you really need visitors, you know."

And then he was gone, leaving Tess wondering whether that really was all the reasons, and whether she dared hope that there was one more reason.

* * * * *

Josh drove home wondering whether going to visit Tess had been very clever. Tess was trouble. Ok, Tess was in trouble right now, and there was no way he could not try to help someone who was in trouble. But Tess could also be trouble for him. He kind of figured that Tess was interested in him. He'd certainly been getting some of the classic come on signs from her, though what she'd told him in hospital confirmed his suspicion that she was pretty loose indeed with her affections. He'd already heard about that anyway. But the way she'd suddenly come to three church things in a row and looked to be around him spoke volumes, as did Liz's non comment when he asked her why Tess had suddenly started coming along. 

Tess had a real style about her, and a real directness, which was something he found refreshing. And she was pretty easy on the eye, very fit, with a long sinuous body that moved like a lioness. Wow. Josh had decided that he would remain a virgin until marriage as Jesus had asked him to, but he knew that Tess was available to him right now for sex, no strings attached, and for the first time he was actually finding that tempting. Josh sighed. Sometimes following Jesus was harder than he had expected it be.

On the other hand, in the group class on Sunday morning, she'd been quite outspoken. He'd watched as she gave the leader a hard time. It might have been more than two years, but she'd still remembered her way around the Bible. So she was smart too. All in all, she had quite a lot going for her, but it was a real shame that she had chosen the wrong direction in her life. Now she would have to rethink her direction, and she might choose a much better direction. Josh hoped that Tess wasn't going to breach the walls he had built round his heart, but he knew that he had to let it happen some time. However if he got involved with her, he'd never know whether she chose her own direction, or was just doing what she thought he'd want. 

 Yes, Tess was trouble.

Tess had a few more visitors before she was discharged. Her parents came to visit along with her younger sister and brother, and Liz came by a couple of times, once with a group of the other guys and girls from the church. But none of her supposed friends came to visit. She'd txted them all, and a couple of them had responded, and when she called what she thought were her real buddies, they'd all been in a hurry to get off the phone to her. She had gotten a few txts inviting her to gigs and parties. On the whole, she was appalled at them. She did have some long chats with a counselor that the doctor organized.

On the last night she was in hospital, she came to some big decisions. The first was that she was through with drugs and alcohol. No drugs ever again. Maybe a quiet drink on occasion, but for now she was on the wagon. If the place she was at or the people weren't fun and interesting without alcohol, they weren't going to get any better with them, so she'd just leave.

She was done with sleeping around. It had been fun for a while, but the attraction had begun to pall even before the gang bang, let alone getting pregnant. She was going to have a six month break from sex altogether, to give herself time to figure out what she really wanted from life. The counselor seemed to think that she'd been doing what her mother wanted her not to do, not what she actually wanted to do herself. That had been a bit of a shock, when she was so sure that she was doing her own thing. 

Being pregnant had been quite a shock. Tess was very proud of the shape her body was in, and the idea that she could've had a real pregnancy had made her realize how important that was to her. The doctors had assured her that it was properly terminated and that the pain and bleeding would drop off soon, so physically she was ok. She was glad about that. If the pregnancy had been viable, she would've carried the baby to term, in spite of how it had been conceived, though she didn't know what would've happened then. But after all this, she decided that she was going to have a crack at a full triathlon, she was going to start really focusing on training for that. 

She was going to go to start going to church again, and have another go with that to see if that was really what she wanted to do with her life. And finally, there was Josh. She was going to dig deep, and take it really slowly with Josh, and find out whether Josh was what she actually wanted in life. Having a fling with Josh was no longer enough. She wanted more than that, and, in spite of everything, there still seemed to be a slim chance. "Whatever it takes," she repeated to herself.




Tess and Josh



* * * * *

Chapter 2: Almost Perfect

Tess treasured her first real kiss from Josh, and regarded it as her just reward for the changes she had made in her life. But oh, she'd had to wait for it. It had been six weeks before she'd even been alone with Josh again, and then another four weeks before they'd had anything that remotely resembled a date. She'd got to spend plenty of time with him, but it was always either at church, or with family or friends around them. But little by little, ever so slowly, Josh had slowly started to open himself to her. 

Finally, three months after she got out of hospital, he'd taken her out on a proper date, to a lovely restaurant, and then, sitting in the car outside her house, he'd finally turned to her and gently but ever so definitely, he'd kissed her slowly on the lips. And then she had held him and cried. As kisses went, it was, well, it wasn't much of a kiss at all; but no kiss had ever had more meaning to her. 

When she giggled, Josh had to ask "Well, you cry, and then it's funny?"

"Oh, I was thinking of that kiss in The Princess Bride. Josh, I'm just so happy."

"That kiss?"

"Yeah, you know, the one that rated as the most romantic kiss there ever was. That one probably wasn't, but it's absolutely the best kiss I've ever had." She rested her head on his shoulder.

Eventually Josh tilted her head up and looked into her eyes. "Before we go any further, we need to talk."

Tess looked at him and nodded. She'd known that this was coming, but she wasn't looking forward to it.

"Tess, you're an amazing woman. The more that I know you, the more impressed I am. I really want to get to know you a whole lot better. But I don't know how we can do this."

"Why?" Tess was sure what the answer was, but she wanted to know how he would put it.

"Well, you're a very sexual person. You're used to sex. But I'm keeping myself until I get married. I don't know whether I can ever satisfy you, and right now, I think it will be too hard for you to have a relationship that doesn't include sex."

Tess maneuvered herself around so she was as close to his front as she could, and looked intensely into his eyes. "Josh, I'm already more satisfied than I ever have been, and that's just with a hint of a kiss, so set your mind at rest on that score. But you're right, I don't know whether I can do that. Why is it so important? Why don't we just do it now?"

She felt Josh pulling trying to pull away for her, but she leaned into him so that he couldn't. "It's a matter of principle. Jesus died for me, and he's asked me to do this little thing. Ok, this not so little thing. But if I don't hold to my principles in my heart, why do I bother having them? I have to do this, I have to be true to Jesus."

Tess kissed him very tenderly. "That's a real good answer." She sighed. "If only you really knew what you are asking from me."

"I don't think I even know what I'm asking from myself. That's why I'm concerned."

"Well, OK, we need some rules. How about no means no?"

Josh laughed. "Yeah, I'll struggle with that one." One of the things he liked about Tess was her sense of humor.

"Tess, for now, just teach me to kiss, nothing more."

"You've never kissed a girl?"

"Well, I kind of had a girlfriend once, but it just didn't really work out, and I feel very unsure about this."

Tess was intrigued by this concept. In every other respect Josh was so confident and in control, but here he was unsure about kissing. But when she started thinking about kissing Josh, she suddenly felt a little unsure. Who was she to teach kissing? "Well, I've kissed a lot of guys, but it's never really been the main event, as it were. Forget about teaching, let's just do it." Tess leaned in and really kissed Josh for the first time.

* * * * *

The next two months were almost perfect for Tess. Finally, she and Josh were really boyfriend and girlfriend. They did dates, they went to the gym together, they went to church together, it was great. Everyone said that they were a great pair. And Tess was actually enjoying church, enjoying that side of things too. 

During this time, the church Sunday school put on a performance for all the families. Tess got right into the presentation. Not only did she stage manage the whole show, and organize the music with Josh, when the younger girl that was one of the leads fell ill at the last minute, Tess stepped in a played the lead herself. 

After the performance, as she was getting congratulations from the audience for the show, she wondered to herself what she would have said to someone if they had told her six months earlier that she would be producing and leading the Sunday school presentation, she would have thought they were crazy, or at the least, very insulting. Yet here she was, not merely doing it, but enjoying it a lot. It meant a lot to her to see the smiles on the faces of the kids and their parents, and to stand next to Josh sharing the rewards with him. 

Tess had been surprised to find that her friends at university also liked Josh. You could always tell that he didn't really fit in with them at the few parties she dragged him along to, but if they were playing sport or making music – something they did a lot of - together, Josh fitted right in, and pretty soon her friends were quite keen to see Josh, even after they found out that he was a serious Christian.

But things were only almost perfect. Tess knew there was something missing from her relationship with Josh, and it wasn't hard to know what it was. Josh had turned into an expert kisser. Well, perhaps it was better to say that they had figured out together exactly how to really get each other worked up. And there was the problem. Tess was just so worked up. It was lovely to spend good kissing time with Josh, trying to get their bodies to share the same space, but that was all they did, and looking after herself with her trusty bedside friend wasn't enough.

They had a rule: underwear on. That meant that underwear stayed on and hands stayed off those areas. And that rule was driving Tess nuts. She'd decided to take it slow and steady with Josh, and they had, and she wasn't sorry that she'd done that. She still felt incredibly lucky to have Josh, but she felt as though he was still holding back from her, that he wasn't completely involved with her. But she just couldn't push through the barriers he'd put in place.

There was another problem too. It was fine to go to church; even fun most of the time. But there was so much pressure to be good, to always do the right thing. Tess just wanted to put her hair down and party for a change. Wanderlust, she'd heard it called, and she knew what it meant now, but she'd known that it was going to be like this, known that this was the price of Josh, and it was a price she was very happy to pay. Nearly.

* * * * *

It started innocently enough. She ran into Rach at university, an old friend that she'd once been a rock-chick with. They'd arranged to have coffee after their lectures finished on the Friday. On the Friday, Tess had been supposed to work till the library closed on an assignment, and then head over to Liz's house to meet with Josh, but Rach had invited to her to a send-off party for Ben, an ex of both them who was heading off on a round the world trip. It had sounded like fun, and she figured she'd head over there for a couple of hours, then head over the see Josh, and do the assignment some other time.

There were only a couple of people there, just kicking back and having a good time. Tess spent ages talking to Rach and Ben, catching up with all the news, as she'd got rather out of the loop in the last few months. A few more people arrived to talk to, and by the time she got round to checking the time, it was a little after she was supposed to meet with Josh, but what with all the good stuff she'd had, she was very mellow indeed, and it was probably best if she waited a bit before driving.

When she saw Ben taking Rach's top off, it sent a delicious feel of naughtiness down her spine. This was what she'd been missing. Rach leaned back into Ben, and he started to caress her breasts as they kept talking. It was right around then that they all started a round of tequila slammers, and the night really took off.

Tess awoke in her own bed feeling absolutely terrible. She didn't recall feeling this bad before. In fact, she didn't recall very much of anything. Fortunately, she had her own toilet attached to the bedroom, and she just made it there before throwing up. Then she relieved herself, drank from the tap in the sink, and collapsed back into bed. 

The door opened and closed, and Josh came over and sat on her bed. Tess turned to look and saw that he was rather upset. She did her best, and got herself nearly sitting up, looking at him, and then she moaned.

In a low quiet voice, Josh said "We need to talk."

Tess moaned again. "Josh, wha.."

"Do you have anything you want to say to me?"

Tess tried to assemble her thoughts. She had a bad feeling about this. "Oh man, I went to a party, and I think I got pretty smashed. I'm sorry." She paused, and knew she just had to go on. "I think I might have had sex. It feels like I did."

"Look at this."

Josh thrust his mobile phone into her face. Once she could focus on the phone, the picture showing on the phone brought memories of last night back with a crash. She remembered Rach going off to screw Ben. She remembered how she wanted a piece of the action when they came back. She remembered how she stripped and rode Ben right there in front of the audience. She remembered how good it felt to be bad, how good it felt to be filled again. She remembered how she'd tried to figure out a good lie for not meeting Josh. The picture on the phone was of her riding Ben, completely naked, and quite obviously drunk and in the midst of an orgasm.

Tess screamed, a scream of pure horror at what she'd done, and fell forward onto the bed. When her breath ran out, Josh said, in that same quiet tone of voice, "So, now I know you for the slut that you are. This was all stupid from the beginning. I'm done with you."

And then he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

* * * * *

Chapter 3: Forgiveness

On the Sunday night, Liz finally got hold of Josh. Neither Josh nor any of Tess' family had come to church, highly unusual for Tess' family. When church had finished, she'd called both of them, and left messages. She'd been very busy in the afternoon, and it was just after dinner that she finally found that Josh was up at his parent's farm. His mother put him on.

"Hi Josh."

"Hello".

Liz couldn't believe how flat Josh's voice was.

"Josh, what's wrong?"

"Tess."

He went to say something else, but stopped.

Liz's heart fell. "Oh no, what happened? What did she do?"

There was a long silence. Eventually Josh said "I guess it's over. Liz, you need to talk to Tess. I think she'll need you."

Then he just hung up. Liz checked, still no response from Tess, so she called Tess' home, and her mother answered.

"Hi, it's Liz. Do you know where Tess is?"

"No, we don't know where Tess is."

"Please, I really need to talk to her, and she's not answering her phone."

"Sorry." 

Liz didn't like the tone of that answer, there was something seriously wrong here.

"Josh asked me to talk to her. Do you have any idea where she is?"

Tess' mother burst into tears. 

"Please, what is going on there?"

Eventually, Tess' mother replied. "Tess got in really late on Friday night. Early Saturday morning, Josh charged into the house and into her room. He was in there about 30 seconds, then she screamed and he charged straight back out of the house. Since then she's been hiding under her desk wailing for two whole days. She won't speak to any one. She's a total mess."

"I'm coming straight round."

Liz was shocked when she entered Tess' room. It was far worse than her mother had made it sound. Tess was curled up in a fetal position under her desk looking at the wall, sobbing, wearing only panties. Her hair was all in knots, and the room stank. Liz carefully approached Tess. Her mum had said that when she had tried to move Tess, Tess had screeched like a rabid cat and scratched her. A good one on the face, Liz had seen it.

Liz sat down on the floor next to Tess, and watched her for a minute. Her breathing was irregular, and the floor was wet where she'd been crying, and she hadn't even turned to see who had come into her room. She couldn't see anything physically wrong with Tess, but she couldn't imagine being so upset that she'd end up like this.

"Tess, I brought you some coffee". She spoke quietly and gently.

"Get out of my room." Tess' voice was slow and empty of all life.

"So, we're back there again. I'm not going to leave, I love you and I'm worried about you."

"I'm not worth it."

"But you do want coffee right?"

Tess froze, and then nodded her head.

"Ok, sit up, and I'll give it to you."

Eventually, Tess wriggled out from under the desk, and sat up. Liz moved closer, and put her arm around Tess to support her while she sipped at her coffee.

Liz watched as Tess started to calm down, trying to figure out what to say next. She was surprised when Tess spoke first.

"I've wrecked everything."

Liz started to disagree, but Tess cut her off. "Don't argue, you've got no idea. Everything is totally ruined. I'm such a slut."

Liz felt that at least Tess was talking. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Tess started to speak, and then suddenly burst into tears. She leaned against Liz's chest and cried great wails of sadness. Eventually she calmed down and started telling Liz what happened. It took nearly twenty minutes for her to tell Liz, what with all the interruptions to cry again, and her t-shirt was soaked by the time Tess had finished.

"So, you see why everything is wrecked. There's no way that I can ever have anything to do with Josh again. I've betrayed him so badly."

Liz was close to losing control of herself. She pretty much agreed with Tess, and she was disgusted with Tess. But when Tess said "I guess you hate me too now", she had to stop and think about the forgiveness that Jesus had shown to her and everyone else. 

"Tess, Jesus can forgive you, and I can forgive you too."

Tess looked at her in surprise. "You're kidding? I'm sitting here thinking that if Jesus was real, he would've hit me with a bolt of lightning and finished me off after what I did."

"No way, if he hit you with anything it would be a bolt of love. Why would you think that?"

"Because that's what Mum always says will happen because I am a sinner."

"Later I'm going to get a Bible out and show you how wrong that is. Just ignore your mum; you do all the rest of the time. But Jesus is real. Why go to church if you aren't sure?"

"For Josh. Do you think Josh will forgive me?" The way Tess asked made it clear that she thought that there was no chance of that. 

"Yes, he might."

"He told me, I was a slut and we're through."

"Tess, you think he was a little angry?"

"Umm, yeah."

"Of course he was. You've hurt him real real bad. But he's a guy, he can pull through."

"It's still all over. I am a slut, and he can never trust me again. I can't even trust myself anymore."

Liz didn't have anything to say in response to that. She grabbed a hair brush and started brushing Tess' hair; she'd always loved that and it would help relax her. When she finished, she could feel that Tess was a little calmer.

"Tess, I'd be more comfortable if you were wearing a few more clothes. How about you have a shower, and I'll clean up in here, and then we go out for a run?"

Tess looked down at her nearly naked self, and then turned around and kissed Liz on the cheek. "Ok. Thanks for being my friend." 

Liz cleaned the bathroom while Tess showered, and then fetched her running gear from her car. Liz could tell how off balance Tess was when she was able to keep with Tess on the run. 

Liz spent all evening with Tess, knowing that she was still very fragile. She curled up into a ball several times during the evening, and it took all Liz's wits to bring her back each time. She did get her Bible out and show Tess how wrong she was about Jesus. At the end of the evening, she was wondering how she could leave, when Tess said "Liz, can you do me a huge favour? I used to sleep with someone else in the bed sometimes, and I haven't had anyone do that for months. Tonight is going to be a bad night, and I'd feel so much better if you were here with me."

Liz knew that 'sleep with me' didn't mean 'Sleep with me' in that sense, but she still wasn't real sure it was a good idea. But her heart went out to Tess, and it would make it easier to get Tess to do what she wanted her to do in the morning. 

* * * * *

Tess was nearly hyperventilating by the time that Liz pulled her car into the driveway of Josh's farm. She'd said it herself that she needed to apologize to Josh in person, and she'd agreed to come, but the closer they got, the more nervous Tess had become.

Liz went in the farmhouse, and Josh's Dad said that he was on top a hill out the back of the farm. Liz knew the hill, Josh had taken a group of them there to see the view once, and she knew how to get there, so she drove along the farm track to the bottom of the hill. 

"Tess, you're going up to say sorry and good bye, right?"

"Err, yeah."

"So, you're just going to walk away – what you have with Josh is not worth fighting for?"

"Liz, don't do this to me. There's no chance."

"At least talk to him. That's all I'm saying."

As they approached, they heard gun shots, and when Liz stopped the car, she saw some dead rabbits waiting to get picked up. 

"Tess, he's got a gun."

"I figured that."

Tess got out, and steeled herself. "Don't wait here."

"Tess, what if he shoots you?"

Tess looked at Liz somberly. "It's what I deserve. But he won't shoot me." And then she turned her back to Liz, and started making her way up the hill towards Josh.

Liz couldn't watch. She turned around and drove back to the farmhouse, went and sat at the kitchen table and burst into tears. 

* * * * *

Tess slowly climbed the hill. It wasn't very big, but it was certainly steep, and though the grass was short, there were many rocks, big and small, on the ground, and the going was tough. She looked around as she stopped for a breather. This was a desolate place. She could see some sheep on the farm far off, but other than that there was nothing but hills and grass – and it was dry, so dry. The breeze was brisk enough to mess her hair up. This place was so bleak, yet in its stark bleakness there was a certain beauty. Josh had spoken of it, but he'd never brought her out here. 

"Freedom is when you have nothing left to lose."

Tess spoke the words of that old song to herself. Had she lost everything already? She just didn't know. Once she thought she had freedom, valued it above all else, but now she wasn't sure what freedom even meant. She sighed and started walking up the hill again. She heard a gun shot ahead, and turned a little towards the sound. 

When she approached the top of the hill, she could hear Josh playing the guitar. When she got close enough, she could see him sitting against a rock, with a couple of guns and a pack by his feet. He was watching her, but he kept playing his guitar and started singing. She knew the song, Hey You off The Wall. 

Hey you, standing in the cold 

When she got to about 10 feet away, she sat down against a rock of her own, still watching him as he continued singing.

Hey you, don't help them to wreck your life

Don't give in without a fight.

She shivered. She'd always loved the guitar in this song, that sad haunting riff, and Josh played it well.




Tess and Josh



Do you love me?

He stopped. Tess knew he'd changed the words a little, they fit her so well. They watched each other for a few seconds, and then he spoke to her, obviously still thinking of the lyrics:

"So, when the worms eat into your brain, can you break free? Who can help you, or is the wall too high?"

That question reached right into her soul. Tess remembered thinking that Josh would reach much further into her than other boys, but she'd had no idea how far. As the tears flowed from her eyes, she realized that he was crying too.  

Tess gathered herself. "I came here to apologize and say good bye. I came because I've hurt you too much. You saved my life, and taught me so much, you believed in me, and then I betrayed you, and I let it happen so easily. It's more than I can bear. I came to say goodbye. You said that we're through, and I know that's the only possible result of what I did. I came to say that I hope you can find a good girl one day."

Josh regarded her for a little while. "You came for that? Is that still what you want to do?"

Tess wailed. "I don't know what I want to do. All that is true, but I can't walk away from you just like that. But I'd understand if that's what you want, just say the word, and you'll never see me again. Or you can shoot me."

She stopped. She knew she shouldn't have said the last bit about shooting her, but it matched the bleakness of her mood and her surroundings. 

Josh's eyes flickered to his guns, and then back to Tess. "The guns are for rabbits, Tess. Let's not hear that again."

"I called you a slut. I said we were through. I'm really sorry I said those things."

"But I am a slut. You even saw the photo." Tess looked down in shame.

"You'd be a slut if you weren't sorry. But you are sorry, and you told me before I showed you the photo. That makes a big difference."

Tess looked up to see that Josh's eyes fixed on her, and she saw that he'd taken his guitar off his lap and was opening his arms. She was in his lap, curling up and pushing into his chest before he'd even blinked, and she wept into his shoulder as she felt his arms around her.

When she calmed down, she said "I can't believe that you're forgiving me."

"I am. It hurt pretty bad, and we have to talk about lot's of things, but I knew that if you slipped, you'd slip up big time. That's what you're about, anything you do, you do it totally."

"So we're not through?"

"Maybe we're not. But we have to make some tough decisions."

Tess looked up at Josh, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "What do we have to decide about?"

Josh looked into her eyes. "Well, firstly, this can never happen again." 

Tess nodded solemnly. "But I don't trust myself anymore."

"That isn't about us, that's about you and Jesus. The real question is whether you believe. I think that this is the answer for you, for where you can find trust. Will you let Jesus protect your heart for you when you can't? Do you believe in Jesus?"

"I don't know. I read the Bible, and I think I'd like to believe in a Jesus that offers me love and comfort, but I look at what I see in the church, and I can't go with that – all that telling other people what to do. And I don't know if I can give up sex like that and be a good little church girl."

"Tess, there's so much to talk about there, and we're going to. Look, when I got involved with you, I knew that I'd never know whether you were coming to church because you wanted to, you believed, or whether it was just because you thought that I wanted you to. You can come to church, you can be my girlfriend, but if you don't come to church because you believe, then we aren't going to work out – what happened on Friday night will keep happening. So I want to know: do you really believe?"

Tess didn't know how to answer, so Josh said "Look, this is going to be a long one, and I'd like you to stay here for the day. I'll take you back home tonight." Tess nodded, so he pulled a radio out of his bag and got onto his Dad. He thanked Liz for bringing Tess out, and promised to call her later. 

Josh and Tess spent the rest of the day on the top of the hill, talking through their issues and making out. Josh already had some lunch, which was good, because when he fetched one of the rabbits he had shot, skinned it, gutted it, and then cooked it on a little open fire, Tess had been rather shocked, not only because Josh was a confirmed pacifist ("Jesus told me to turn the other cheek"), but also because this was all a bit confronting for Tess. "City girl", Josh had teased, and then produced quite a nice salad roll for her. "Good thing I'm happy to rough it on a rabbit so you can eat my lunch." Though Tess had to admit that the rabbit smelt pretty good, so Josh promised "Next time, I'll get a wood pigeon for you."

That day, for the first time, both Josh and Tess actually opened their hearts to each other. Tess told Josh everything about her past, and Josh told Tess about his own past errors, like how he had been a bully in school. By the end of the day, they had come to some conclusions. Josh had argued that Tess was wrong about what following Jesus was, that it wasn't about telling other people what to do, but about a very personal trust relationship with Jesus. They had agreed that they would put their relationship on hold while Tess figured all that out. They had also decided that Tess had a real problem with her mother, and Josh wanted to see if he could improve things there. 

Tess wasn't sure about this. Did she really have to give up everything she liked about herself to believe in Jesus? And to have a relationship with Josh, did she have to make all the changes? Was it a one way street, or would Josh be prepared to make changes for her?

* * * * *

Chapter 4: Learning to Dance

On Thursday night, Tess was astonished to find out that her parents were going to spend Friday evening at Josh's farm, and that she wasn't invited. She hadn't expected to see Josh until church on Sunday, but she still felt amazingly rejected and lonely. So when Jane rang and invited her to come over for dinner the next night, she said yes, when normally that would be the last place she'd ever want to visit. Jane was a good Christian wife, a quiet woman whose life was dominated by her husband and their two young children. Tess felt sorry for her, since she had no life of her own. She could have been a real attractive outgoing woman too. 

When Tess arrived the next day, the house was in chaos. There was a small boy and girl running around the house naked, and Jane was yelling at them, trying to get them dressed after their bath. "Welcome to the mad house. These two never like clothes," she laughed.

A few minutes later, the children were dressed and eating dinner and Jane sat down with Tess.

"I'm glad you got here before David gets home, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

Tess heart fell. Maybe she shouldn't have come here?

"Josh came by and poured his heart out to Dave on Tuesday night."

Tess gasped. "What did he tell you about me?"

"Remarkably little, given how much we talked about you. He didn't really tell us anything we hadn't already figured out."

"Oh."

"Yes. But I wanted to talk to you about something that Josh said. He said that you thought that you'd have to give up sex and become a good Christian girl."

"Yes, that's what he wants me to do."

"I thought we'd talk about that. I know that you're wrong, and I know what you think about me, I heard you telling Jo once, so I thought maybe I could set you straight."

Tess recalled that conversation with Jo, and thought that she'd die on the spot. It was before she'd turned sixteen, and she'd laughed at how someone could be so demure, and called her Plain Jane, and goody-goody two shoes.

"Tess, appearances can be deceiving. And you don't have to give up sex. For now, until you are married, you put it on the shelf and treasure it, and then, once you are married, you get it down, open the box, and dive in."

Tess looked at Jane. What would this homely woman know about it?

"I'm going to show you something, something very private to David and I. Please don't ever tell anyone about this." 

Jane jumped up and walked out of the room. Almost immediately she came back with a photo album in her hands. "David doesn't know I'm going to show you this."

The front of the photo album was plain white, with a heart on it and the letters D and J intertwined in the heart. Tess opened the album. 

"David is a photographer. We decided to make a photographic record of our private lives. I've never showed this to anyone else, and if we didn't love Josh so much, I wouldn't risk showing this to you."

The first page of the album was a lovely sepia photo of Jane and David at their wedding. Jane looked lovely in a simple dress. Tess looked at the photo again, and realized that the background was actually a hotel room.

"Yes, this was after the wedding, when we got to our hotel room."

David looked very proud. Jane looked smug, excited, happy, every good emotion that you could feel. 

Jane turned the page, saying "We were virgins on our wedding night."

The next page was the same photo, in sepia again, except that David and Jane were wearing only their underwear. David looked good enough to eat, with a very evident bulge in his jocks, but Jane, wow. Tess gasped. Jane was wearing a half bra, stockings and suspenders with a little frill, like a tiny 3 inch skirt. She had a garter, and nothing else. Tess could see her landing strip. She looked good, Tess hadn't realized how good her body was.

"So, I think you can figure out what kind of album this is. There's a couple of pages I won't show you, but you can look through the rest of it. I want you to see that you can love a man, be a good Christian wife, and have great sex."

Tess browsed through the pages. She was amazed. Jane was a stunner. She dressed in the most conservative of clothes normally, but Tess could see, looking across at her in her t-shirt and shorts, that she was still hot even now. When Jane and David let their hair down, they really let it down. In most of the honeymoon photos, Jane was wearing the bottom half of a pretty racy bikini. Rarely, she was wearing the top half too. Rock climbing, Kayaking, lying on the beach, in the spa, hiking in the wilderness. David was mostly only wearing shorts, and sometimes less. She wouldn't be able to look at him the same again. There was a few classic playboy type poses thrown in, and even a couple of playgirl ones too.

Tess had to adjust the way she was sitting. There was a photo of Jane and David riding a horse, both naked. In the next photo, Jane was leaning forward on the horse, clearly also mounted on David, with a big grin on her face. When Tess turned over the next page, Jane quickly flipped it over to the page after, but not before Tess got a distinct image of the top half of David's face looking up over Jane's crotch, and a second photo of Jane with her lips around his penis. But the page Jane left her looking at was nearly as astounding. Jane was riding David in abandon, in the throes of an orgasm. It had a strong likeness to that photo of Tess, but Jane was clearly not drunk, and definitely wasn't going to need to be sorry about it.

Tess pushed the album away. She couldn't look at any more. "I can't believe that you are showing me this. What will David say?"

Jane giggled. "I'll tell him tonight after you leave. There'll be a big explosion, and then, well, then we'll both sleep well tonight."

Jane looked at Tess. "Tess, I want you to know that you don't have to give up on sex. You can hide it like I do, or you can be open, as long as you don't flaunt it at the wrong time. If you and Josh are right for each other, then you'll never look back."

"How do I know? How do I know whether we really work, when we won't find out until it's too late?"

"Ok, so I said that Dave and I were virgins when we married. But I knew Dave really very well before we got married. I knew exactly what I was getting from Dave, and what I get from Dave in bed is exactly what I get from him out of bed. And it'll be the same with Josh. Tell me what you think he'll be like in bed."

Tess thought about that. "Well, he always cares about how I am feeling, whether he can do anything to make me feel better, and mostly he just figures it from watching me. He's very energetic, and I know he's got the right gear."

Jane smiled and nodded. "And is there anything you aren't sure about?"

Tess had to think about that for a while. "Well, I've been around, I know that I like, and I like my man to go down on me. Will Josh do that? But the thing that really concerns me is that he's so self-controlled. Even last weekend, when I hurt him so bad, he never even raised his voice. I wonder whether he really feels things properly."

"So, talk to him about it."

"Jane, I really appreciate you showing me the album. It's really made a difference for me. But please, put it away. If I look though any more of it, I'm going to disgrace myself."

"Ok, I'm going to show you one last photo from it, because it's my favorite one of all." It was taken when the younger child was maybe only a few weeks old. They were all naked. Jane was breast feeding the baby, and leaning over to kiss David who was sitting next to her, with the older child in his lap, holding tightly to her mother's arm and holding the baby's foot with her other hand. 

Tess was extremely moved. "I can see why it's your favorite. I've never seen anything like it." Tess had never really had a maternal instinct before, but this photo had awoken it with a bang. 

"We had to wait a long time till we could afford our babies, but they are what my life has always been about. I'm so happy." Tess wasn't sure that it would ever be all that her life had ever been about, but she certainly understood why Jane was sitting there looking like the cat that ate the canary.

When David came home, Tess looked at him in rather a new light. He came through the door like a thunderclap, slamming the door and filling the house with happy homecoming sounds. He picked the children up and threw them in the air, then gave them a huge hug. Then he put them down and came up to Jane. He stopped, focused on her, and then it was like the world stopped. He held her face in both hands, leaned into her and kissed her gently but surely, and then Jane leaned into him and wrapped her leg around his, and changed the kiss into something more urgent. 

Tess watched, and knew that she had just seen exactly what she wanted to have in about ten years time. And she knew exactly who she wanted to have it with.

Even before the door closed as she left, David had his hands all over Jane. Tess knew exactly what they were doing before she even got to her car. She sat in her car and thought. Once David had got home, they'd spent most of the time telling her how exciting it was to have Jesus as a personal savior, and how important it was to them that they showed Jesus' love in their own lives. It almost had Tess excited about giving her life to Jesus, but then, there was always her mother to change that.

* * * * *

On the Sunday morning, as Tess was getting ready to go to church, her mother knocked on her bedroom door. "Tess, would you be happy to stay home with me instead of going to church? There's something I really need to talk to you about."

Tess wondered what this was about. Was she finally going to get a birds-and-bees talk from her mother? It was rather too late for that, and her mother knew it. Was it another rules-of-the-house talk? But her mother looked rather scared and little, which was unusual.

"Okay Mum."

Once everyone else had gone to church, Tess' mother made coffee and they sat down at the kitchen table.

"Tess, I'm sorry that I've wrecked your life. Really, I have, and I'm just so sorry."

Tess looked at her mother in amazement. This was really an incredible week. She didn't know how much more she could take. 

"Before I talk about us, I'd like to know how serious you are about Josh."

Tess was so surprised by all this that she answered with the truth. "Mum, I think we might be marrying serious."

He mother nodded. "Ok, what I am about to tell you, you can tell to Josh, but no one else."

Tess nodded, scarcely believing her ears.

"It's a long time since we've done anything but fight like cats and dogs. Do you remember a particular time when this started?"

Tess remembered. She remembered it all too well. It was a black letter day in her own personal diary she kept in her head, from when she was fourteen years old. "Yes, the day that you wouldn't let me go with my cousins to the show." She'd had a crush on one of them, she had been so upset. They'd been upset too, so upset that they never came back.

Her mother nodded. "Yes. That was the day. I know that you didn't understand, and I know that I didn't do it right then, and I've never done it right since. On Friday night, your father and I had a heart to heart with Josh's parents, and last night I spent a long time talking to your father about this. It's long past time that I told you the truth, long past time that you know why I have screwed you up so badly."

Tess didn't know what to say.

"Please don't interrupt. I'll answer any questions you want when I've finished."

"My fourteenth birthday was the last time I was truly happy. I had this really cool boyfriend, and after school we went to the swimming pool. We snuck around behind the change sheds and started kissing. I let him take my bikini top off, and what he was doing felt wonderful. Then I looked up and I saw Adam watching. My parents had asked him to watch over me. My brother smacked my boyfriend up, real good, because he was a couple of years older than my boyfriend."

"The next night, Adam came to my room and said that if I didn't want him to tell my parents, then I'd let him kiss me and feel my breasts. So I let him, and it felt pretty good. A few nights later, we did it again, and he told me that he loved me. It felt good, and he was bigger than me, and I was so afraid and also lonely because my boyfriend had dumped me, so even though I knew it was wrong, he took my virginity."

"I hated it, because I knew it was wrong, but I didn't have any choice. And when he told me that he loved me, I told him I loved him back. We did it for a year, and then he told me to screw his best friend. And I had thought he loved me."

"When I was seventeen, they both got real girlfriends and stopped screwing me. I knew he never loved me, they just screwed me up real good. I went on a couple of dates, but I was screwed up, so much guilt - I thought it was my fault – and then the second guy date raped me."

Tess reached out and held her mother's hand. Her mother was crying, but hadn't stopped talking. It was the first time that Tess had touched her since she had turned sixteen.

"I nearly committed suicide. I was desperate. And then I found Jesus, and I gave him all my problems. It was such a relief, he saved my life. After three years, I felt normal enough to date, and I found this wonderful man who loved me for what I was."

"I married him as soon as he let me, and we had three lovely children. You were so cute when you were a baby, and so were your sister and brother once they came long. So I thought that Jesus and your father had made everything better, and I was nearly happy again."

"Then you father had an affair."

Tess gasped. "Dad had an affair? No way!"

Tess' Mum nodded. "He's been a wonderful man, but I'm not good in bed." She saw the look in Tess' eyes. "Being good in bed is not about getting a man into bed, anyone can do that. It's about making him want to come back again and again for years. And I wasn't good at it – that's what Adam left me with. So your father had an affair with another lady in the church, it lasted for a year. Her husband found out about it."